#ive bribed all the friends i need too :)

[steampunkedparm]

how long do you guys think i can hide my birthday from my partner

[lerclan]

orange | lando norris

type: smau + written

pairing(s): influencer!reader x lando norris

summary: you wanted to share your love for orange but it ends up with you and an f1 driver having dating rumors which slowly develops and turns out to be true at the end.

warning(s): slightly suggestive at the end

fc: random girlies off of pinterest!

---

ynnn

Liked by amayamoore, lilymhe, and 376,193 others

ynnn in love with orange atm 🧡🐚🪸

tagged: amayamoore

View all 73,618 comments

---

amayamoore LOVE YOU BABESSS 🫶

ynnn LOVE U 2 MAMI😻😻😻

user1 okay girlll we see you with f1

ynnn chat i have no idea what that is

user1 WHAT?? HOW??? ITS LITERALLY ONE OF YOUR PHOTOS AND YOUR FRIENDS W LILY MHE?? 😭😭

ynnn I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD FIT THE AESTHETIC AND AMAYA WAS THE ONE THAT INTRODUCED ME TO LILY. ALL WE EVER TALKED ABOUT WAS GOLF 😔

user1 ohhh 😭😭😭 okay girl eat it up 🙏🙏 ❤️ by author

user2 soft launch??

user3 IN LOVE W ORANGE THE COLOR OR IS THIS A CODE NAME FOR THE DRIVER?

user4 PLSSS WHAT IF ITS A SOFT LAUNCH??

user5 considering that y/n doesnt know what f1 is im not really sure abt this one

user3 what if its like a cover up or something

user4 YEAH FR WHAT IF SHES J PLAYING W US

ynnn 😈😈😈 *author deleted a comment*

user4 OH

user6 OMG NO WAY 😭😭

user3 WE SAW THAT

lilymhe okay come hangout with me when?

amayamoore in 3 days trust.

ynnn girl...where are we going...

amayamoore you wont like it but me and lily will

lilymhe OMG NO WAY?? FR??

amayamoore YESSSS

ynnn chat im lost

user7 okay shes in her wag era ❤️ by author

user7 OOP.

user8 NOT THE SOFT LAUNCH PLSSS

---

landonorris

Liked by mclaren, carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 721,917 others

landonorris im orange 😭🧡

View all 112,172 comments

---

carlossainz55 i told you to not do it but you still did it anyways mate

landonorris TO BE FAIR I THOUGHT IT WOULD WORK BETTER SINCE IM ALREADY TAN

carlossainz55 yeah now look at you. you look like an actual papaya. shouldve left that fake tan alone.

charles_leclerc no wonder you looked like that. 😂😂😂

mclaren someones a true dedicated papaya 👀🧡 ❤️ by author

oscarpiastri mate you look like the lorax 😭

landonorris thanks osc...really needed that

user1 LMFAOAOAO IM CRYINGGG

user3 guys aint no way...IS THIS ACTUALLY REAL?? OR LIKE AM I OVERTHINKING 😭😭🙏

user4 NO GIRL I GET IT...IT ACTUALLY MATCHES UP 😭😭😭

user6 WE ALL SAW WHAT Y/N REPLIED WITH 💀

user3 IKR LIKE HER CAPTIONING "in love with orange atm" AND NOW LANDOS CAPTION "im orange" LIKE????

user4 YOU MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING FR

user9 you guys are so delusional 💀 landos talking about him putting on fake tan and it made him orange 💀💀

user3 let us be delusional please 😔

user10 lando has rizz?

user11 y/n and lando lowkey have matching captions

user12 who is y/n?

user11 shes an influencer. shes friends with lily mhe 😄 heres her account @/ynnn

user12 OMG THEY FR DO LOWKEY HAVE MATCHING CAPTIONS...

---

f1wagnews

Liked by user3, user4, and 127,232 others

f1wagnews potential f1 wag in the process? or is it all just a mishap?

View all 12,232 comments

---

user3 IM CALLING IT I SWEAR. ❤️ by author

user3 THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE THO... ❤️ by author

user4 FR???

user10 i agree w you guys fully.

---

---

ynnn

Liked by scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 628,162 others

ynnn no cuz im being fr she actually just kidnapped me and forced me to put on the outfit 😟

tagged: amayamoore

View all 92,717 comments

---

scuderiaferrari please kidnap her more. the garage enjoyed her rant about despicable me 😂❤️

redbullracing were gonna have to bribe her friend to bring her here...that sounds interesting 🧐

mclaren too late we already sent them invites.

scuderiaferrari telling our drivers to crash into you.

ynnn ladies, ladies...relax ive got enough of me to have around 😏

amayamoore get out y/n 😭😭😭

mclaren we dont like to share.

user11 ik y/n got lost about 50 times im calling it

amayamoore more than that im afraid 😔

ynnn SHUT UP.

user11 LMFAOO

user3 oh so theyre on the low low i see

user4 PLSS YOU ARE NOT GIVING UP 😭😭

user3 THEYD BE CUTE TOGETHER LET ME BE DELUSIONAL 😭😭😭

user7 NAH FR THOO

charles_leclerc soo...how long are you staying for?

carlossainz55 you did not.

charles_leclerc 😇😇😇

georgerussell63 shes WAY out of your league leclerc. anyways how long though? 😉

alex_albon lily told me to tell you guys to stay away from her. she got suspended for 3 hours from commenting bad stuff about you guys.

amayamoore lily also told me to tell you guys to get out of y/ns comment section

ynnn LMFAOO LILY NAURRRR 😭😭😭

charles_leclerc never answered our question...

ynnn a while leclerc.

maxverstappen1 did anyone else hear a yell from mclarens garage or was it just me?

mclaren 🤫🤫🤫

user12 NOT A MCLAREN DRIVER GETTING EXPOSED BY MAX 😭😭

user3 I WONDER WHICH ONE 💀

user13 PIASTRI MAYBE??

user14 NOOO IT DEF HAS TO BE LANDO

user5 watch it be an engineer

oscarpiastri it was nice talking to you, ill show you around yeah?

ynnn YES PLSSS 😊😊

landonorris wow ok

charles_leclerc i know right. FROM MY OWN SON.

ynnn ???

oscarpiastri theyre being dramatic. dont mind them 🙄

---

oscarpiastri posted on their story !

👁️ 782,173

landonorris replied to oscarpiastris story

landonorris OSCAR.

oscarpiastri LANDO.

landonorris THIS IS TRULY OPP BEHAVIOUR.

oscarpiastri what do you mean lando?

landonorris I CANT BELIEVE YOU DIDNT INVITE ME...

landonorris I LITERALLY COULDVE HAD A CONVO WITH HER OSC.

oscarpiastri lando you had 6 chances and you ran away every time...

landonorris anyways...next time..for sure....

oscarpiastri okay lando we will see...

---

oscarpiastri

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, ynnn, and 812,173 others

oscarpiastri am i the best guide ever or what? 😄

tagged: ynnn

View all 161,172 comments

---

ynnn YOU ARE NOT. ❤ by author

ynnn YOU PUSHED ME TO THE BUSHES

oscarpiastri THAT WAS BY ACCIDENT. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A LIGHT SHOVE SINCE THERE WAS SOMEBODY RUNNING YOUR WAY 😔

ynnn UH HUH WTV EXCUSES EXCUSES. 😒

landonorris yeah dont listen to him he told me he did it on purpose

oscarpiastri I DID NOT 😟

ynnn WOWWWW. WOWWWWWWWWW.

user3 k chat...maybe her and lando arent dating...maybe its her and piastri...

user4 HAVE FAITH STAND YOUR GROUND 😭😭

user3 I WILL. THANK YOU 🫡

user14 yn and the mclaren drivers. never knew i needed them till now 😩

user15 NAH CUZ FR?? THE CHEM.

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, amayamoore, and 826,173 others

ynnn you can tell who kidnapped me this time. (also peep oscars stance 😭)

tagged: amayamoore, oscarpiastri, landonorris

View all 127,718 comments

---

user3 CHAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL 😨😨😨

user4 LMFAOO 😭😭😭

user3 LANDO IN THE LIKES??

user4 this is fr your moment girl 🙈🙈🙈

user14 OSCAR PLSSS LMFAOO ALSO LANDO AT THE LAST PHOTO 😭😭

mclaren will tell oscar to kidnap you again.

oscarpiastri already on it 🫡

scuderiaferrari we had her first :(

landonorris she looks way better in orange.

charles_leclerc nuh uh shes way better in red.

ynnn awhh guys fr theres enough of me around 🤭

amayamoore LMFAO I CANNOT W YOU 😭

oscarpiastri WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT PHOTO

ynnn lets just say im in the shadows...

landonorris dont question her any further.

oscarpiastri what is going on 😞

landonorris I SAID DONT QUESTION HER.

ynnn thank you norris

landonorris anytime for you l/n 🫶

ynnn such a gentleman 🙈🫶

user3 GET IUT IF HERE IM GONNA PASS IUT

amayamoore they fr took my girl. 🙁

ynnn girl...YOU LEFT ME WITH THEM.

amayamoore OOPSIES. 🙈

lilymhe shes doing that thing again y/n

ynnn SHES DOING THE THING THING???? TO WHICH ONE!?!3$/&

lilymhe even i dont know 😟

ynnn 😨😨😨😨😨😨😨

amayamoore 😈😈😈😈

---

---

ynn

Liked by landonorris, osarpiastri, and 1,231,642 others

ynnn i like this guide way better. he doesnt push me into bushes. 🤍

tagged: landonorris

View all 233,123 comments

---

landonorris id never push a pretty lady like you into bushes. ❤️

ynnn so basically what youre saying is that if i was ugly you would?

landonorris that sounds impossible coming from you l/n.

ynnn why thank you norris 😊

lilymhe BOTH OF YOU GET UP RN.

lilymhe @/ynnn PLEASE STAND ON BUSINESS Y/N DONT PLAY W ME RN.

amayamoore LET HER SIT LILY 🤭🤭🤭

mclaren whatever amaya said. ❤️ by author

user3 I AM PEEING MYSELF RN.

user3 GUYS ITS HAPPENING...ITS HAPPENING DONT PANIC

user4 THIS IS SO YOUR MOMENT OMG IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY FOR YOU

user3 MAYBE I WONT GET SENT TO AN ASYLUM

mclaren stop stealing our drivers 🙁

ynnn ill try my best 🫡

---

landonorris

Liked by ynnn, amayamoore, lilymhe, carlossainz55, and 1,854,321 others

landonorris shes my bestfriend now.

tagged: ynnn

View all 321,283 comments

---

amayamoore NUH UH.

lilymhe lando norris bites the curb in 4k ultra hd.

landonorris ALEX. SHES DOING IT AGAIN 😟

alex_albon i cant even help you w this one...im scared of her...

lilymhe stay quiet alex.

alex_albon 🤐🤐🤐

amayamoore she maybe your best friend but shes not yours.

landonorris she said i was 🙄

ynnn ONE of my bestfriends

landonorris now were lying now huh 😒

ynnn excuse me norris. i will make sure lilys statement becomes true

landonorris im sorry my lady 😞❤️

ynnn good. ❤️

charles_leclerc guys go to your dms before i cry.

georgerussell63 fr im gonna start bawling. we lost a baddie 😔

ynnn what are you guys even talking about...

oscarpiastri dont even worry about them

carlossainz55 i agree with oscar

mclaren shocker...coming from carlos

scuderiaferrari what a moment

user4 @/user3 are you alive?

user3 i think i fr passed out when i swiped and saw her.

user12 GIRL DONT WORRY I PASSED OUT W YOU I THINK ALMOST BROKE MY NECK 😭😭

user3 i have a feeling chat. ❤️ by oscarpiastri, amayamoore, carlossainz55

user4 your feeling may come true soon.

user3 OSCAR, AMAYA, AND CARLOS J LIKED MY COMMENT SOMETHING IS BREWING.

user12 OMGOMGOMGOGMGOGMORBWHQ

user16 why is lando so fine?

user17 not lando being her personal photographer shes such a devourer for that 🙈

user18 both of them are so fine 😫😫😫

---

you were sitting on a swing on the beach waiting for lando to come back. it had been a few months since you and him started hanging out and became friends.

it wasnt surprising when you, along the way of you guys becoming close, started catching feelings for him. you were captivated by his charms, his beautiful and flirtatious personality, and those eyes that hold a million stars.

"y/n?" you hear a voice call out from behind you.

"yes, lan?" you respond back using his nickname.

"i got us some juice. they said these two were the top sellers." he hands you one as he sits down.

"oooo these look good. what flavour is this one?" you ask him waiting to take a sip.

"i think that ones called 'golden sun', it has pineapple, orange, and mango im pretty sure." he answers.

you take a sip from your juice and you were met with a wonderful taste. sweet and sour, but savory as well.

"is it good?" he asks as you eagerly nod your head.

"of course!! you can never go wrong with mango." you answer taking another sip from your juice, "whats yours called?"

"mines called 'starfish dreams', i think it has strawberry, kiwi, peach, and pineapple. not quite sure, but its good. sweet with a hint of sourness." he answers, "wanna try mine?"

"yes!! that sounds equally as good! you can try mine as well." he was ready to give you his cup and you suddenly had an idea.

you grabbed his and gave him yours and then you grabbed his arm making him give you a confused look until he realized what you were doing.

"ohhhh..." he sighs in relief, "i thought i did something wrong for a second."

you laugh out loud at the thought of him being concerned for a second.

"no, no, i just need a nice pic for the gram since you took all of the ones i was gonna post." you give him a side eye as you take out your phone for a picture.

"you snooze you lose." he sticks his tongue out at you, to which you do back.

after you snapped a couple photos, you guys go back to having a conversation about how pretty the view was at night.

"it was really nice of you to invite me here." you say to him as he looks at you.

"im glad i grew the balls to ask you to hangout with me when nobody was willing to," he chuckles, "i wouldve been alone today."

"oh so basically what youre saying is that i was the last option?" you joke around waiting for his response.

"no, no, no...not like that. more like you were the scariest option on the list." he says as you give him a look.

"how? im not that scary looking...right?" you ask him as he violently shakes his head.

"obviously not...i meant–ughhh...what i meant was you were only the scariest option on the list because i was afraid youd reject me." he spews out.

"reject you? why would you think that?" you give him a more confused look.

"because compared to me, i am definitely way out of your league," you look at him in the eyes as he looks away, "youre just too beautiful, refreshing, fun to be around, and youre just so charming. after our first lunch together, i kept thinking about you and how it was impossible to love somebody at first sight, but it was definitely possible and im the living proof of it."

"is this you confessing your love for me, norris?" you ask him as he finally looks into your eyes.

"yeah...i guess it is." he looks at your face for any sort of reaction, but all you did was look into his eyes which made him nervous.

all the nervousness he had were washed away from his body in seconds after you leaned in and gave him a kiss, to which he reciprocated.

"i feel the exact same way, lan." you give him a smile as you give him another kiss.

both of you guys spent your night at the swing looking at the stars, talking about random things that you both were interested in, and getting in the water for a little swim; soaking in each others love for one another.

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, and 923,213 others

ynnn the beach at night>>>

View all 162,172 comments

---

amayamoore idk how you guys can get into the water at night. it gives me the creeps...😟

ynnn its j so relaxingggg maya 🙁

amayamoore THE SHARKS.

lilymhe REAL.

landonorris beach at nights>>>

ynnn YHHH>>>

user19 who is the dude?

user3 according to my calculations, lando norris. 🤓☝️

user4 😭😭😭

user20 the view!???!? 🙈🙈

ynnn had the best view ever 🤫

landonorris i had an even better view.

charles_leclerc if you ever need another tour guide im still an option 😊

scuderiaferrari even im starting to feel bad...

carlossainz55 me and you both.

georgerussell63 me too!! im still an option! 😚

mercedesamgf1 george...

user21 IM CRYING 😭😭

user1 they are not giving up 😭

---

ynnn posted on their story !

👁️ 934,283

amayamoore replied to ynnns story

amayamoore OMG YOU FINALLY BOUGHT A CAR??

ynnn YESSSS

amayamoore so im guessing lando helped you w that huh? 😉

ynnn ....

amayamoore HAHDHAHAH GIRL CANNOT LIE TO SAVE HER LIFE 😭😭

ynnn NAW CUZ HOWD YK THO...

amayamoore girl be fr...it was either oscar or him. last time i checked you were w lando 🙄

ynnn anyways...🤐

amayamoore yeah exactly. also check the gc xoxo

---

---

f1wagnews

Liked by user21, user3, user4, and 102,232 others

f1wagnews alert: lando norris sighted snuggling and kissing with an unknown girl!

View all 11,232 comments

---

user3 oh thats not...!!

user4 I GENUINELY CANT TELL IF THATS Y/N OR NOT...

user3 ME NEITHER 😭😭

user9 it is definitely not y/n guys 💀

user5 fr everyones being so delusional

user9 that is not y/n for everyone being delusional out there 🤣

user3 IT HAS TO BE

---

you and lando laugh together as you both read the comments of the new post created by f1wagnews.

"i would soft launch but it would be a little suspicious and obvious..." you say to him as he laughs.

"i told you hard launching would be the only way. considering the fact we already had a rumor around us." he tells you as you give him a look.

"i guess so. also im only hard launching to prove user9 and user5 wrong. trying to make user3s and user4s day since theyve been rooting for us." you say as he laughs, "you gotta do it with me tho, i have a plan."

---

ynnn

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, mclaren, amayamoore, and 2,939,234 others

ynnn i only ride mclarens.

tagged: landonorris

View all 341,234 comments

---

landonorris so funny how im actually named mclarens 😘

ynnn you are so getting it tonight.

lilymhe Y/N.

amayamoore IM CRYING WHY IS SHE SO UNHINGED LILY 😭😭😭

lilymhe BECAUS EOF YOU

mclaren we didnt even read this.

mclaren CONGRATS!! 🍾 ❤️🧡 (were just gonna ignore the caption!)

ynnn thank you sm 😝 (enjoy it)

carlossainz55 HE DID IT???

landonorris and did.

ynnn bro confessed without knowing he confessed...

landonorris SSHHHHH

oscarpiastri HE FINALLY DEFEATED THE LANDO NO-RIZZ ALLEGATIONS‼️‼️

landonorris excuse me.

ynnn YHHH HE DEFEATED IT FINALLY!!!

landonorris EXCUSE ME.

user3 I FRICKING CALLED IT. YOU GUYS I CALLED IT!!! IM NOT CRAZY.

user3 @/user4 WHERE ARE YOU...WE DID IT!!!

user4 WOOOOHOOOO FINALLLYYYYYYJAHWH

ynnn you guys are the og believers.

landonorris y/n only hard launched because of you guys fyi

user3 OMGOMGOSN IM GONNA PASS OUT.

user4 THEY KNOW WE EXIST @/user3

charles_leclerc so im guessing you dont need another tour guide 😕

ynnn sorry charles...ive already got the best tour guide around ❤️

landonorris my loveee ❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 do you guys hear sobbing from ferraris garage and mercedes?

scuderiaferrari yeah...dont worry about it.

mercedesamgf1 the weather is nice today...

amayamoore that caption is insane.

lilymhe WHAT IM SAYING BRO.

ynnn 🙄🙄🙄

---

landonorris

Liked by ynnn, carlossainz55, mclaren, lilymhe, amayamoore and 3,343,964 others

landonorris hi, im mclarens.

tagged: ynnn

View all 394,934 comments

---

ynnn hi mclarens!!! 🙈🙈🙈

landonorris hey there beautiful lady 😍

georgerussell63 theyre so cute im gonna vomit.

mclaren beat the no-rizz and no-wins allegations!!! thats our driver!! 🧡 (still gonna ignore the caption)

landonorris it was y/ns idea believe it or not.

ynnn SHUT UP.

oscarpiastri i just put two and two together with their captions. i wanna bleach my eyes now.

carlossainz55 i just told my teammate to look at their captions and he started sobbing more. 😂😂😂

lewishamilton i dont think my teammate figured it out yet 😅

lewishamilton nvm 😭😭

maxverstappen1 yeah we can hear them all sobbing...

maxverstappen1 congrats mate!! you finally have balls now!!

landonorris last time i checked ive had balls my entire life.

maxverstappen1 idk about that mate

landonorris ask my mother or y/n

ynnn idrk lando...ive only known of their existence since last week...

charles_leclerc KEEP IT IN THE DMS. IVE GOT NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY 😭

ynnn okay ariana grande 😭😭

amayamoore KEEP THAT INFORMATION TO YOURSELVES.

lilymhe we did not wanna hear about what you two did last week.

user3 THE MATCHING CAPTIONS AGAIN 😭😭

user4 theyre so iconic for that tbh. the first time they were put in an article together it was because of their captions being accidentally matching and now its actually real. 😭

user3 genuinely brings tears to my eyes.

user22 theyre so cuteee 🤍🤍

charles_leclerc i think im done crying.

ynnn ill buy you some lec ice cream to make you feel better. 🫶

charles_leclerc thank you 🥹🫶

landonorris and what if i tell you ill eat all of it before it gets to you.

charles_leclerc that might be my 13th reason.

ynnn 😭😭

scuderiaferrari please give our driver a break.

---

authors note(s): this is my first smau so i hope it isnt booty cheeks. i literally started tweaking after trying to do the instagram post layout properly 😭😭

hope you guys enjoyed this and maybe ill make more in the future xoxo

[days-until-burnout]

hi omg i forgot to put in my request for my prize lol.. or did i? i forgot 😭 ive been very busy lately.

but just incase i havent, i would like to have as my prize a very cute fluffy scar x joel college au bc i need more of them 😞😞

your writings are so amazing and inspiring i love them all especially the smalletho tehee <3 have a great timezone and take care 🩷

you did forget xD but worry not, because forget is my main skill. anyway, here some scarjoel. i got confused halfway through writing (not the prompt, just confused in general). but i tried my best<3 and thank you for reading<3 _____

📧 Day 75 -

Characters - Scar/Joel Words - 1,517 Time - 45 mins Content - College AU

Scar pushed his wheelchair through the crowd, mostly following his nose—it took him of sweets and baked goods, all the alluring warmth and sugary sweetness permeating the area; the whole campus, even. He'd even seen a couple people drooling over their goods, praising the taste and flavors and textures over and over. Fleetingly, too, he heard about the cause; all funds would be going to the animal shelter fifteen minutes away from campus.

Of course, Scar was an animal lover himself, having owned two cats on his youth. Unfortunately, with lectures and labs, and seeing as he had to live on dorms the first year, he could not bring them with him. They were at home, with his parents, looked away and loved, and above it all, missed like crazy.

So that was two things driving him forward, despite the horrid midday sun and crowds. A sweet treat and a good cause—but that wasn't all, not entirely.

He heard from Grian, who heard from Mumbo, who got boasted by Bdubs that Joel was going to be helping with the fundraiser. Either Joel was bribing the professors with baked goods, or he was ignoring all his homework and assignments, because there was no way Joel had time for this when Scar himself was drowning.

(Well, if he ignored the fact that he had been procrastinating with some Lego sets his parents had sent a month ago—but still! Joel had too much free time, and Scar, as his friend and possible room-mate next year, had all the right to be suspicious.)

(Also because he felt guilty not spending enough time with him, but that was… a conversation to be had… probably next month, after he got through his pile of assignments and projects.)

As the crowds thickened, Scar wondered if it was too late to switch back from architecture to business school.

"Watch it, idiot."

Scar snapped out of it, instantly panicked and frozen. Until his mind recognized the voice, slowly turning his head to find Joel staring at him, eyebrow raised with a pretty yet mocking smile on his lips.

"Don't drive through the stand. Who knows if you can even afford all that." Joel laughed, playfully as he walked over, hands on his pockets and, well, casual clothes. Scar didn't know why he expected Joel to be wearing some sort of uniform or badge or apron, not that he hadn't seen him in all of that before with all the various projects he got dragged into (Scar was sure Joel spent more time with club activities than homework, yet maintained a decently high grade—again, suspicious).

"I would never," Scar huffed, offended as he snapped his head away from him. He glanced ahead, seeing the stand a couple meters away, Cleo and Scott taking orders and cash at the front while Gem and Pearl were packing orders. The line was long, panning out the walking-path of the park. "Busy?"

"It helps," Joel hummed, a certain tone in his voice.

Scar swallowed, looking at him nervously, "What did?"

"Oh, you know, emotional manipulation. I've been going around the park telling people they hate animals if they don't donate. Dirty work."

Scar looked horrified for a moment, catching a glint in Joel's eyes that didn't let him decipher if this was the truth or a lie. Joel didn't look ready to reveal, rather, he looked at the stand then around, then finally his chocolate eyes landed on Scar.

Joel looked him up and down, and Scar had to stop pushing.

"Hm, you haven't bought anything nor have a sticker. That means you hate animals." Joel said quickly, yet nonchalantly, stealing the words from Scar's tongue and moving along before he could retort. Scar was good at this, they knew, this whole con-man thing, but here he was, stunned into silence as Joel continued. "Dunno Scar, I don't think I can flat with you next year. I'm bringing my dogs, and since you don't like animals… It's like kids. Everyone says yes, or there's gonna be problems."

It took a bit, a couple seconds for his brain to kick into action, sputtering and stuttering his defense, "I– I was going to! But you– You distracted me. Actually, uh, I think you are the one who might not like animals, actually." He breathed in then out, pushing his wheelchair again. Joel hummed beside him. "You see, your childish tactics are only drawing people away from your cause, which I assume you take much pride in. But it's your manipulation and—"

Scar halted at the quiet chuckles, looking up to see Joel laughing into the side of his fist. And oh, how cute he was. Unashamedly, with not a single thought, Scar stared at him, laughing. Those eyes, his lips, his button nose and rosy cheeks. His hair, the collar of his shirt wrapped around the base of his neck. The line of his jaw, his arms against his chest, the sweet little giggles—

"Oi!"

Scar jerked as Joel jumped to pull him to a stop, nearly running into someone facing the other direction.

Joel laughed again, more openly, and it sounded just as sweet.

(It was obvious, yes? Maybe he should tell him. He should.)

"Go find somewhere to park, jeez. I'll bring something over."

"But I have the money!"

"You can give it to Cleo after. I'm not treating you."

Joel quirked an eyebrow, still smiling. And Scar swore Joel blinked at him before leaving, sending his heart into a frantic thunder that kept him in place for a couple minutes, watching him walk away, weaving through the crowds confidently and sneaking behind the stand. Scar watched him eyeing the boxes, pointing at various places for Gem to grab, Cleo even turned over to scold them but Gem had shoved the box into Joel's hands and then Joel was running away.

Joel had found him in the same spot, laughing a little more before gesturing over to a tree near the path. Despite the place before fairly busy, everyone taking shelter from the sun under the trees, they were able to snatch one not too far from the concrete path, which Scar's wheelchair appreciated.

So they sat, and they ate, talking about the fundraiser—or, well, Joel talked about it. On and on while Scar ate the donuts, the pieces of cake and cookies, melting with every bite. It was up in the air if Scar was distracted with the goods or if he was entranced by Joel, because from one moment to the next, they had spent all day sitting there, doing nothing.

The sky had turned a couple shades of orange. People were still out and about, even more now that the sun wasn't burning their heads and late night bars were about to open. Everything warm still with only the softest of breezes.

It wasn't until, despite the sound of kids and someone's blaring speaker, did he notice how quiet the world was. With a glance, he saw the stand long gone, and with another quick glance, he realized Joel was snoozing against his shoulder.

(Likely, he had frozen when it first happen and he was just now waking up himself from being stunned.)

('Likely' being exactly what happened.)

Scar couldn't see much from his angle, just the bridge of his nose, curls of brown and lashes. He stirred the faintest bit, but it was enough to wake him. He stilled, hoping Joel would go back to sleep, but he only felt him nuzzling further, intentionally.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep?" Joel questioned, playfully with an audible grin.

And Scar was honest, "Didn't even realize."

When Joel straightened, pulling away, Scar felt a chill settle where their bodies touched. It tingled too, on his shoulder.

"We should head back, I'm hungry." Joel yawned, stretching his arms up high before slouching, instantly going to check his phone. "We should order pizza. I don't feel like getting hall food."

"You want pizza?"

Joel hummed, unaware of Scar's incessant staring. His phone lit up his face softly, the white light softened by the setting sun around them, and Joel looked, well, like Joel. All smiles and messy hair, mischief in his eyes at the text he was writing—a glance up, a knowing smile, he caught him staring and smiled about it.

"Let's get pizza," Scar managed to breathe out.

Joel offered a wider smile, then he went back to texting.

Scar decided, tonight, after pizza he was going to tell him. Before they moved in together and possibly ruined their first time living on their own. He was going to tell him and he was going to be brave about it and he was going to be only a little hurt if he was rejected and then he was going to beg to stay friends and swear he can keep his feelings in check.

It was a plan. Flawless.

(Scar did not end up telling Joel. Between mouthfuls of pizza and many deaths in a cooperative game, how could he?)

(Regardless, Joel stayed the night.)

_____

first, i forget what name these two have. i mostly use scarjoel tho also, can i admit. something. is this a safe space. ive been obsessing over a game these past 3 days. its ruining me. i am weak. burnout might not get me, but hyperfixation might</3

[fromtenthousandfeet]

The Goose That Laid the "Golden" Egg

When Jungkook's Golden album came out I have to admit I was really confused about exactly who the songs were supposed to appeal to. The explicit lyrics in Seven and 3D really didn't fit with your average BTS fan. The collabs were strange, too. Usher and Justin Timberlake? Was this album geared towards old Millennials? Jack Harlow and Latto (who, by the way, is hardly a household name here in the US) - rap enthusiasts? DJ Snake and Major Lazer - EDM fans? Was the album geared towards men or women? Young or old? Like who the heck was the target market?

And then one day it hit me. I was asking the wrong question! The target market didn't matter one iota. The right question was cui bono? Or rather, who stands to gain? This got me started digging into the song credits on JK's album. And here's what I discovered - every collaborator has writing credits.

Let's break it down.

3D featuring Jack Harlow. Harlow has writing credits. Justin Timberlake has writing credits on the remix.

Closer to You featuring Major Lazer. Diplo, a.k.a. Thomas Pentz, has writing and producing credits.

Seven featuring Latto. Latto, a.k.a. Alyssa Stephens, has writing credits.

Standing Next to You Usher Remix. Usher Raymond IV has writing credits.

Please Don't Change featuring DJ Snake. DJ Snake, a.k.a. William Grigahcine, has writing and producing credits.

The features are paid up front for their collaboration, and then, because they have writing credits, they will continue to earn royalties from streams and sales. Not a bad deal for the folks listed above. The same goes for the well-known song writers and producers on the album, like David Stewart, Andrew Watt, Jon Bellion, Shawn Mendes, Ed Sheeran, and many others. Here's an article about how royalties work for those who care:

I shudder to think how much was spent on marketing Seven/Golden. I assume HYBE America paid for marketing expenses since Scooter was the one doing A&R while leveraging his extensive web of contacts in the music industry. I don't know this for certain, though, without seeing HA and BH's expenditures. Either way, someone paid iHeartRadio (among others) for media play and radio airplay. And then there were paid advertisements all over social media platforms, including forced adverts on YouTube that counted towards Billboard charts.

So much money was spent on Spotify. Paid playlists, paid playlist positions, Spotify Discovery Mode. I know Spotify also modified the search algorithm so JK's Seven would pop up first in the results when one searched for Jimin. If I remember correctly, this happened in YouTube as well (such a dirty move). Like, somebody got paid to rewrite code to override the search function.

More money was paid for media play with Billboard, Rolling Stone, Forbes, and I'm pretty sure NME and Consequence of Sound, too. There were probably many adverts I didn't notice. And then there were performances, awards, and his ad campaign which I won't discuss but I've definitely wondered who paid whom for that endorsement deal.

I don't need to go on and on rehashing 2023, but what I want to point out is that BIG MONEY was spent on the roll out of Jungkook's first single and subsequent album. Was Seven the most expensive single in pop music history? And cui bono? Not Big Hit, since essentially none of the in-house writers and producers were involved. Streams don’t yield big payouts and the digital singles and albums were often sold at a discount. Jungkook didn’t make huge bank since he had zero writing or producing credits. But Scooter Braun's clients and industry friends seemed to do pretty well. And just about every company that's related to the western music industry received payments for pushing and playing the songs from Golden.

So, I see two potential scenarios here.

Number One! HYBE used Golden as a means to, shall we say, line the pockets of the western music industry (cough...bribe...cough) so that releases from HYBE labels will get treated favorably in the future. Also, given the scope of marketing, media play, playlisting, and radio play, Golden could have been used for market research to determine where the company gets the most return on investment in terms of reach and charting. I think you can see this with the rollout of Illit's Magnetic, which has heavy Spotify Discovery Mode and a huge focus on TikTok, but very little standard media play via the traditional music media outlets. And no posters.

Number Two! Scooter Braun saw this album as an opportunity to financially enrich his friends, colleagues, and the companies he has investments in, like Spotify. Was he siphoning money out of HYBE by promising to make Bang PD's dream of western validation come true? Can't you see Scooter whispering sweet nothings into Bang's ear? "Mr. PD, give me a big budget and I will make you the biggest music mogul in 1,000 years!"

Whatever the grand scheme was behind Golden, one thing's for sure, the western music industry and social media platforms made out like bandits.

FYI:

HYBE America lost more in 2023 than Big Hit earned.

HYBE America Sales: 226.3 billion Net Profit: -142.4 billion won

Big Hit Music Sales: 552.3 billion Net Profit: 140.3 billion won

142 billion won is just under 105 million USD. Yowza.

In other news, HYBE Corporation was designated a conglomerate today. I'll try to unpack the implications of this if anyone is interested.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

59. I Yacht to Kill You for This

For one I love this title so much

And this episode is WAY, WAY too long because of how much needless book-trio lore there is

So I hope you enjoy this needlessly detailed filler episode

Featuring CHOONKERS

(I love him so much help me)

DON'T READ THE EPISODES UNTIL YOU'VE FINISHED THE FIRST BOOK!!

The Bookers are on Chalk’s yacht. Ink is writing, Bookie is pacing, and Ivory is there. Chalk has a new scar on his nose from… something. Everyone looks distressed.

CHALK: I’m going to call over Logico. GAINSBORO: NO, NO, NOT THE LOGICO! INK: Calm down. He never did anything to you. GAINSBORO: HE stole a bookie from me :’< CHALK: His book isn’t selling very well, we need to find ideas to raise-

Ink types faster and harder.

CHALK: [looms] Are you doing- INK: Yeah. Logico’s books aren’t selling. Now I’m going to bribe him with my fancy boat so he does more shit and makes me more money. CHALK: ?? IVORY: [scoff] Ya, girl. INK: That’s all you care about isn’t it? The stupid fucking books? Everything’s just a publicity stunt to you!!  CHALK: Jobs- INK: DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A PUBLICITY STUNT?

She yeets a typewriter at him, but he jumps out of the way and it almost hits Bookie, who is traumatized.

IVORY: What the fuck did you do that for, bitch??

Ivory shoves Ink off the boat, but Chalk catches her. Bookie is a shaking mess of Gainsboro.

GAINSBORO: If you let her back on this boat I will kill you.

He fucking means it, too.

CHALK: I am very sorry.

He lets go.

IVORY: OH MY GOD!!!

Ive grabs a sharp piece of metal and stabs at Chalk a few times, before Bookie gets in her face and tries to slam his wings on her head. Lightning strikes as they cry out to the sky.

Logico FINALLY arrives, and by then someone’s dead. NOT ONE OF THE CHARACTERS, just some freak in the dining room. He sees a frazzled Bookie and a pouting Ivory. Ink is clutching onto the side of the boat, and a bloodied Chalk ‘greets’ the man.

LOGICO: What did you want me for. CHALK: Books, Logico. YOUR BOOK. LOGICO: I don’t care- CHALK: It’s not doing well, as is EVIDENT. If only we had some way of gaining publicity. Oh! One of my sailors was murdered! You could solve THAT.

The grumpy llama storms off. Ink blots into the water.

INK: [anger sounds] GROSS… LOGICO: I will rescue you.

Logico uses a fishing rod to bring her back up.

IVORY: Ugh, fr? INK: Thank you, Logico. I’m so sorry about all this.

Poor baby Bookie is sobbing.

LOGICO: What. GAINSBORO: I WON’T DO WHAT THEY MAKE ME DO, THEY’LL NEVER!

Chalk is sad looking at the precious booker. His (ancient) phone rings.

LAVENDER: CHALK DEARIE. IT’S LAVENDER. 

Chalkers’ hand shakes and he drops the phone, because he doesn’t want to do this right now.

LAVENDER: CHALK. HELLO? CHALK. CHAIRMAN. WHERE ARE YOU?? PICK UP THE PHONE, YOU IDIOT! HELLO!!!

The boi looks over the edge of the boat with the most solemnity.

LOGICO: What did you even want with me. CHALK: OH, I- YOU?? YOU THINK- OHO- I- THIS IS ABOUT YOU?? I DON’T K- 

He motions to spit on the short king like an actual llama, but covers his mouth and sobs. Logico is distracted by marot cards… just like he would be at a time like this.

He knows who did it. In the stupid fight, Chalk threw his golden pen and it somehow got wedged into a guy. The four book people look at the corpse and think… what am I doing with my life? 

CHALK: I’m so sorry… INK: …I guess I am too. IVORY: Yeah, and like, whatever, I guess.

Bookie just wants his llama boi. Any other day, Logico’s cold, unbeaten heart would be warmed by the sight, but no. Ink pulls him into a hug.

CHALK: About the books… LOGICO: I don’t care about the BOOKS.  CHALK: What do you care about, Deductive? LOGICO: HIIIIIIIM. CHALK: Oh, that would actually be great for sales… If you got bloody revenge on the guy who killed your friend… Never mind, I’ll deal with this. LOGICO: HE WAS MORE THAN A FRIEND.

Chalk gasps like a choking pigeon. He leans in.

CHALK: [whispering] F-for sales, it’s better if he’s just a friend - the last time I tried to publish a gay book I got-

Logico shuts his mouth.

The end!

Ink's theme :3 I love her so much. She's such a pure, genuine person.

Fletch helped a lot with the intro to this episode, so credit to her too <3

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[is-the-snake-video-cute]

How does one train a snake to be an ambassador? I have a four year old corn snake who's my best boy and Ive often used him as an "ambassador" with friends and family to get them over fears. Though I will say he gfavitates towards me when someone else is handling him.

Currently I'm gently working on getting him more comfortable with head touches, which is going well.

Here is a blurry pic of him when he was younger being bribed with a second food item so he would actually eat instead of forgetting about the food in his coils.

He's such a cutie - that's the messiest coil I think I've ever seen, goodness!

So, I'm very strict with training ambassador snakes, because they are a big part of my job and what I do for a living. It's a pretty formal process for me, but I do a lot of things that you can do with your snake, too! Any snake can be an informal ambassador, and it sounds like your boy is already doing a great job!

My training process starts when the snake is young and takes years, and it involves a lot of stuff you just won't need to do with your snake. For example, all my ambassadors learn to get into their tubs on signal (we use a yellow circle of paper), and they have to learn a specific hold I use during programs and stuff like that. But there are still things you can do with your snake at home to help him be an even more excellent ambassador to your friends and family!

Head sensitivity is a big one. I use a multi-year process because I do start my snakes as babies. When they're babies, I let them accidentally bump their heads into things while I'm holding them, being sure to always stay calm and avoid flinching when they do. Once they're older and more confident, I start intentionally, gently bumping their heads, noses, and necks into things - soft things like clothes, always, and when they're comfortable with that, we move on to intentionally touching their heads and necks with my hands. It can take a long time, and you have to be prepared to take a step back if your snake feels uncomfortable. Just go at their pace, and only ramp up the intensity when they're comfortable!

Getting used to being held by other people. Lots of snakes will gravitate towards their keeper, so my ambassadors have lots of supervised seperation time where I'll have family members or friends hold them for a while when I'm not in the room.

Basic training can really impress people and help them see snakes as smart and interesting! You don't have to go as intense as I do with my snakes, but check out Lori Torrini's YouTube channel for some great tips and information on basic snake training! Even something as simple as teaching your snake that a clicker means food can help his brain stay active and engaged.

All the best! Your boy sounds great. :)

[i-like-books-and-women]

Welcome back to the return of my marching band au brought to you by my first practice of my seinor season being yesterday (guys I'm an old officially like what-)

Be prepared to see more of this and the return of my band stories.

So to recap from last time (ive probably made baby changes but lets ignore that):

Ruben's in guard, Zach marches alto sax, Angel marches trumpet, Jon used to be in pit and played marimba but is now the drum major.

Angel is constantly trying to distract Zach in basics block. Somehow he always gets away with it without getting yelled at.

The boys all make great section leaders. Angel is silly goofy but firm when he needs to be and gets shit done (there's always some trumpet freshman running laps for being a dumbass and leaving their music/instrumet/water/ect. at home). Zach bribes his kids into behaving and having their shit with a sticker system. If they do good and have all their stuff they get to fill up their star chart and once it's full he'll bring them a treat. If they forget things or do dumb shit they get red stars (the shame enough of a red star deters it from happening too much. There's no set punishment for a full star chart). Somehow the color guard is magically not clicky and actually friends with Ruben in charge. (The magic is him forcing them to bond. "Guys I've been doing this shit too long at least pretend to like each other for my sake. For each bit of guard drama you're involved in you're doing 10 push-ups like I'm tired-" (Ruben has been in the high school guard since 7th grade and is t i r e d of the bullshit))

And now some new things I've made up:

Jon's dad is the school's principal and no one likes him.

Ruben's mom is the band booster president and the kind of mom who only shows up to shit for her kid, ignores everyone else, and only goes to "help" with props or pit equipment to get into shows for free (these moms are so annoying guys holy fuck).

Zach's mom is one of the bus chaperones (everyone loves her and rightfully so) she always stocks the snack bag and the drink cooler so there's always goodies for bus time.

Anyways thats what I got for rn. Feel free to spam me with questions about how what and why is marching band. I will return eventually

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — WELCOME TO EXO COSMIA, TYRIL I LISTER. 🌑

ꕥ  — OOC INFORMATION;

name / alias: kyuu age: 29 pronouns: any ooc contact: twitter/tumblr @ kyuu333 other characters in xc: ryuunosuke naruhodou (ace attorney), an shiraishi (project sekai), missile (ghost trick)

ꕥ  — IC INFORMATION;

name: Tyril I Lister age: 26 pronouns: he/him series: even if TEMPEST canon point: post-Parting Memoirs IV (Lucien route clear) app triggers: alcoholism, torture, genocide, witch hunts, child endangerment, abuse, dehumanization, suicide/suicidal ideation, religion in a fantasy setting, age gap relationship mention

personality:

Tyril comes off as nothing but abrasive and mean at first glance. He's not afraid to insult virtually anyone he meets, friend or foe or complete stranger. He’s quick to threaten violence when someone irritates him. He seems like a huge narcissist too, flaunting his accomplishments and often proclaiming how amazing he is while looking down on everyone else. Flattery seems to work on him, but it's actually only when he’s willing to play along with it. Most people back home are intimidated by him. His crass attitude along with his shunned occupation of inquisitor make him nearly impossible to approach.

The people who aren't pushed away by that initial impression could get lucky enough to glimpse his true depths. He's incredibly clever and perceptive, scarily good at reading people and is always thinking several steps ahead. It's extremely difficult to lie to him and get away with it. His deductions are top notch, and those who get on his bad side quickly learn why he's such a renowned inquisitor.

He's not above using underhanded methods to achieve results. He'd torture someone without batting an eye, he welcomes bribes (of his favorite mead), and sells information to the press. However, it's all a means to an end to achieve justice and find the truth. He takes this job very seriously and his end goal will never be corrupted. Behind his rotten image, there is kindness and good intentions. He's always willing to help someone in need, even if he absolutely does not seem like it, preferring to wear a mask and act discreetly. His aloof, roundabout way of communicating often causes misunderstandings.

something your muse struggles with: self-worth and the inability to view himself as anything more than a tool for other people to use due to a whole life of being conditioned to think that way.

your muse’s greatest strength: being an extremely reliable jack-of-all-trades; he excels in a great number of skills and holds a vast sea of knowledge in his mind.

history / background:

Tyril Ishik Lister was born into the Ishik clan – they were a people subservient to the Goddess Norna and Her descendants, and they dedicated their lives to serving the royal family of the holy kingdom of Hystorica. The clan lived hidden away in the forest next to the kingdom. He was a slacker as a kid and hated sitting through history lessons. One day, he borrowed his friend's clothes as a disguise and snuck out of the village, into the forest. There, he came across three Hystorica knights of the royal guard. One of them was injured and he felt compelled to help him. He gave them medicine and supplies before dashing back to his village, though he'd learn later that the knights used the towel he gave them to track him.

Tyril told his father about the encounter, but his father just got mad at him for sneaking out and banished him to chores at the edge of the village. He worked into the night, sad that he was missing the village’s big festival, but because he was isolated he didn't realize that the genocide of his clan had begun. He forced himself out of the building to see his friends and family already slaughtered by knights. Helpless, he fled the village and hid in a cave which was unfortunately filled with snakes. He was bitten over and over as he hid there for three days waiting for the knights to disperse and developed a crippling phobia. Finally Karlsen, the same injured knight that he'd helped back then, found him and spared his life, granting him sanctuary at the church. Tyril learned that the king ordered for his clan to be destroyed for being suspected of witchcraft, and he became the sole survivor. He blamed himself for causing this, and the guilt would hang over him for the rest of his life.

A few years later, he was approached by the first-born son of the king, Prince Conrad Neuschburn. Conrad promised to restore the Ishik clan to its former glory if Tyril became his tool and worked hard enough to earn it. It’s implied that there was a bit of coercion, but since he already had a sense of obligation to serve the royal family, Tyril accepted and allowed himself to be used in heinous ways. He was trained in various skills and became a spy, committed theft, and took countless lives for Conrad, becoming his most useful tool. Though no one else knew his identity, they started calling him Conrad's “hound”. Some lives – probably the majority – that he took were innocent, but he didn't hold back for the sake of his duty. He didn’t allow himself to think twice about it lest he fall into despair.

At some point he was assigned to assassinate Crius Castlerock, vice commander of the Wings of Garuda. Tyril tried to get close to him with the intent of killing him, but Crius proved to be too challenging a target. Especially when Zenn Sorfield, a human made immortal due to being brought here from another world, came into the picture. Tyril gave up on the assassination effort and decided to genuinely befriend them both instead, desiring a connection with someone who wouldn't die on him so easily. The three ended up working together to expose some of Conrad’s hidden crimes, shutting down his illegal operations. Conrad evidently never found out who'd done this to him – Tyril continued to serve him, but he also grew close to his steadfast new friends that he felt he could trust. Zenn taught him about ninjas from his home world, which inspired Tyril to moonlight as a folk hero named Ninja who helped the common people from the shadows, much like Hystorica’s version of Robin Hood.

Tyril's day job was to be an inquisitor, whose duty was to persecute witches. He became famous thanks to his skill, though this garnered him more fear than respect from the public thanks to the job's reputation. He couldn’t care less what they thought of him. He believed that inquisitors did well to inspire fear as it's a method to combat the influence of witches. There was no ranking system in the Inquisitorial Order, but he'd unofficially become the boss. Besides him, there were only 7 other inquisitors, and they all respected and admired him, happily serving as his subordinates. He carried on with all the dirty work without complaint (besides badmouthing the cardinals) and often got drunk at the tavern with his two friends after work.

One night, he was recruited by Crius to help third-born prince Lucien Neuschburn locate his childhood friend, a woman named Anastasia Lynzel, who was also Crius’s cadet who mysteriously resigned from the Wings and disappeared a month ago. The three of them cornered Zenn, who apparently knew where Anastasia was hiding, and convinced him to bring them to her.

Anastasia told them a heavy truth – she had the power to turn back time every time she died thanks to a witch’s magic and had been using this to battle the Witch of Ruin, but every attempt ended in tragedy. She isolated herself in her estate, living horribly and suffering abuse from her family all to prevent the Witch of Ruin from finding her and causing more despair. She told Tyril of an alternate future where she became an inquisitor – his subordinate – and they uncovered a terrible revelation together. The current royal family didn't have a drop of the Goddess's blood in them, meaning that the Ishik clan wasn't meant to serve them. That explained why the king ordered the slaughter of his people, because they were a threat that could disprove the authenticity of the bloodline. This news was devastating to Tyril. He'd suspected this cruel truth before but didn't want to believe it. The atrocities that he committed for Conrad were for nothing – his clan and his entire existence was for nothing. His despair over this ran deeper and darker than Anastasia had anticipated. When all was said and done, the Tyril in this alternate future killed himself. Anastasia begged him not to repeat that in the current timeline.

Tyril eventually pulled himself together. He, Crius, Zenn, and Lucien teamed up to plot a way to take down the Witch of Ruin and free Anastasia and themselves from this insane plight. Tyril made full use of his Ishik knowledge and authority and refined Lucien's plan to convince the masses to resist the Witch of Ruin’s influence. One thing led to another and it was revealed that the true descendant of the Goddess Norna was none other than Anastasia herself. With that revelation, she and Lucien confronted and finally defeated the Witch of Ruin. Tyril was beyond relieved that he finally found his true master, and therefore started to find purpose in his life again.

But that's an early work in progress.

powers / abilities:

None

inherent abilities:

-Surprisingly outstanding combat prowess for an inquisitor, enough to rival even the most skilled of knights. Specialty in daggers and kunai

-Proficiency in sneaking, so much that it could be mistaken as magic with how well he can disappear into the shadows

-Resistance/immunity to most poisons

items / weapons:

Ishik Luxflavus - a pot of yellow flowers that are closely associated with his clan and thought to be extinct. They're a hardy species and the flowers shine in the dark. Used as an ingredient in medicine but he also just thinks they’re neat.

Ninja gear - a sneaking suit with daggers and kunai. He made the kunai himself.

Inquisitor’s whip - a normal whip.

starting ability: n/a starting item: Ishik Luxflavus

extra: 

-Unfortunately in canon, Tyril and the other guys are love interests for Anastasia, who is (physically) 18 years old while Tyr and Cas are 26 and Zenn appears close to his friends’ age plus ~100 years of being immortal & isekai’d. I'm personally uncomfortable with that age gap and I'm sure other members are as well, so I'll be omitting ANY AND ALL mention of romance between Anastasia and these three ic. They still all share platonic bonds of varying strengths with her, though.

-I’m playing Tyril as a trans man, I know they explain in Dawning Connections why his gender got mistaken when he was little but let me have this ok

-He has tattoos around his neck and right arm as proof that he's part of the Ishik clan, usually he keeps these hidden under his clothes since revealing his status as an Ishik survivor back home would put him in needless danger.

-He’s so deathly afraid of snakes that seeing one sends him into an immediate panic attack regardless of if it's venomous or not. I hc that this trauma response only triggers with snakes he encounters in person, but he's uncomfortable seeing snake pictures too.

discord id: envoyofmisery

[blookmallow]

i havent been liveblogging much bc i need to get screenshots off my steamdeck which i have forgotten how to do but anyway,

i felt like i was keeping up pretty well with new vegas for the first long while, wander the desert, visit towns, help people out and solve problems along the way, learned some about the main factions, ok, ok

then i finally make it to vegas and everything just went all to hell at once i have no FUCKING idea whats going on anymore :’)

SO i go to new vegas to find out why benny tried to kill me. i guess revenge is an option but i mostly just wanted Answers

weird mystery andrew ryan probably-an-AI ruler of vegas suddenly decides im his special bestie and gives me a ton of privileges. makes sense if he wants me to get him the platinum chip back. he seems weird and corrupted but ill take “offering benefits and bribes to manipulate me into helping him” if its mutually beneficial. thats the closest to nice anyone’s been to me in a while. “hasnt tried to kill me yet” is pretty much where the bar is and it sounds like he hired me in the first place so i say ok ill get the chip

then i have a weird mostly incomprehensible (to me) conversation with benny about how he wants to take over vegas and then he runs off with the chip again. i dont know if im supposed to want to get it or care that he has it but its just the principle of it at this point, cant go killing me /twice/,

then i find his robot who tells me benny wanted to kill mr house and now for some reason /I/ have to kill mr house, because, uhh, i can? because a robot suggested it?? i don’t understand why im killing him. i dont Trust him but i dont know why murder is necessary here. and i have to decide if i want to take out all the vegas strip families or not and this is just way too much pressure!! i dont know any of y’alls politics!!! i came here to see the pretty signs and tacky hotels!!

and THEN i get a fucking. special vip invite from fucking CAESAR, who has been sending assassins after me every five minutes for like the entire game and i hate them SO MUCH, why the FUCK do you want to talk to me now,

or maybe i became enough of a Problem its just an attempt to kill me since everyone in the mojave wants me dead apparently (and for what!!! i am Idolized in like 5 communities at this point im NICE)

also got roped into resolving a whole cannibalism cult sideplot completely out of nowhere as i was minding my own business exploring. ive somehow become friends with a gang of elvis impersonators. i dont know whats going on anymore

i didnt ask for any of this im just out here killing scorpions and trying to collect as many pool balls as i can find im going back to my shitty novac apartment and my 80 dinosaurs

[january-summers]

Devil judge episode 5. Trying out a one post ‘live’ blog.

I love the framing and lighting they use for some of these shots. Devil Judge’s nightmare looks like a godsdamned painting.

Devil judge, stop playing baby judge, he’s not stupid, he’s gonna catch on. I do wonder how much of anything is the truth.

Also, the bracelet necklace devil judge is wearing with the crucifix, was his older dopplebrother wearing that in the flashbacks??

Flashback case!! Yeah, I have daydreams like that too.

Lady minister, if you’re there on official business why are you covering your face?

Guard knows that means tlc care right? Not shank him in the kidney for clout?

So mean to… is she the maid? The nanny? The housekeeper? Whomever she is, stop being mean! Or she really will poison you!

Omg live-streaming from the green house XD

Minister has some A+ acting I’ll give her that.

Who’s side are you on pink secretary?!?!

I love Lady Judge. She so bubbly~ and nice and charismatic~ (ooohhh do you think she’s into cops? Cause cop friend likes judges I’m just saying: free GL ship. Oh gosh, I ship them already.)

Cop friend! Doing a bust, don’t get hurt! … YAS slay! She’s so cool~

Okay so wait. Is this guy in the turtle neck the one from last ep when devil judge was telling minister to confess to pushing that politician or whatever to suicide because she framed him for bribes? Is he also the one who was there when devil judge was beating up that dude by the furnace and not a doppelgänger ghost? So many shows would be easier if i was better at faces 😞

Awww baby judge cooked for devil judge. This butler is was smarter than siri and alexa. I like devil judges vest with the shimmery blue purple back panel. I need the vest.

Foot chase with baby judge and cop friend!! Oh shit did that dude just- oh no, he’s alive.

Childhood backstory!!! I love them your honour. Omg she just wants to protect him, the little delinquent.

Ooph, this is not a fun case to have chosen for them. Gonna be a whole load of he said she said.

He confessed?!?! Just like tha- ah. Blackmail, that makes sense… so did he actually commit the crimes? He has the attitude of someone who knows he’s about to get away with something. Aaaand there it is. Piece of trash.

As someone filled with much rage: cut him up. As someone who has the viewer’s perspective and knows this is a trap: oh shit it’s a trap!!!

Playing baby judge again :(

What the shit is going on in devil judge’s psyche? This is the most twisted version of “we become the one who could have saved us the time that no one did” i have ever seen. But also good for him. Baby judge! Come back and give him a hug!!!

Bonding!!!!

Baby judge had a bike?! A motorbike?!?! Aww the little delinquent~ rip bike.

(Also: “while ive been living with him I’ve discovered my true passion! I want to be a house husband~”)

“Accomplice.”

Awww, the kids are playing corporal punishment. That’s terrifying. Baby judge legit scared by how much power and influence they have.

“Why does baby judge get a waifu army while i get mutilation cults?” Oh jee I wonder why (sarcasm)

Baby girl is so smart~

!!! Lady judge!!! Definitely needs a girlfriend who’s allowed to legally shoot some fools!!!

Poor baby judge, he’s really conflicted. On the one hand: this actor is a monster, on the other: human rights must apply to everyone or they soon apply to no one. On the third hand: what is the ability to punish people with mutilation going to do the the country’s psyche?

Oh that some next level scribbles of extreme ire. … wait? What? Really? That’s all? Huh.

Enjoy getting shanked in prison asshat! !!! Wait, poison? … can you chemically castrate someone like that?

“Appendicitis” sure it is. Oh this is sus. Dude is just cutting em off, how the hell did he sneak into the theatre? What is he from devil judge’s cult? … omg it’s devil judge! (I am even worse with faces when there’s masks an-)

Dream sequence?!?! It was a dream sequence? Wait, how much of it?!?!?!

The whole sentencing? … 20 years and the worst prison they could find!!!! (Not super comfy about the “we’re waiting for you sweetstuff~” rape is never ok not even as punishment for rapists. Imma just pretend they’re only saying it to scare him and that he will live the rest of his life in fear like his victims would have.)

Baby girl~ she’s so clever~

Oh i know that envelope.

The car’s gonna stop before it hit- RUDE

Creepy recreation of his house.

… pink secretary isn’t actually his sister in law after cosmetic surgery to hide the extensive burns on a crusade of revenge is she?

Ohhhh!!! A maid!!! Wait. Is she the maid he “convinced to throw herself from the roof” in his tragic backstory?

BAD TOUCH!!!! BADTOUCH BADTOUCHBADTOUCH!!!!!

All respect for her lost!

And i get the feeling i know why he got her to jump if she is the jumping maid. (Assuming he was even responsible for that) >:( grrr

(Why’d she have the necklace though?)

[sabertoothwalrus]

i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.

cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.

ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.

if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.

sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get

1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful

I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development

[lialacleaf]

The Spartan and His Pyro- Puppy Eyes - Master Chief X OC

John considered himself to be a smart individual. He knew more about the history of combat than most people, he could service just about any vehicle, and he was a master strategist. 

However, there were some things that the Master Chief just didn’t understand. One of those things is emotions, or more importantly, how to utilize them. 

“I’m not going to some fancy meeting so Command can show me off like a circus animal to the directors,” Catherine said as she speared the carrots on her plate with her fork and popped them in her mouth. 

“It’s not like that. It’d be an opportunity to network with the higher-ups. Between Halsey’s arrest, and the scrutiny of the IVs, we could use some friends in high places.” John wasn’t wrong, but his reasoning wasn’t entirely the reason he was insistent on Catherine accompanying him to the assembly. He also wanted an opportunity to see her in her dress uniform, and a small part of him…well, maybe a big part, wanted them to attend as a unit. There weren’t many opportunities for them to do things together, just the two of them. 

“You do realize that I have likely been reprimanded by eighty percent of the attendees, including you for that matter,” she said pointedly. “Trying to show off how well behaved I’ve become?”

John gave her a withering look. “You aren’t that well behaved.” 

“Why can’t you take Fred? He’s  a Lieutenant.” 

“Oh no you don’t, I have enough work on my plate as it is. I still have to write a report for the last hog you destroyed,” Fred butted in before he could be dragged into anything. 

“Hey, my driving saved your asses,” Catherine argued, and John rolled his eyes as the rest of his team was pulled into the conversation. 

“Her driving is better than Kelly’s,” Linda said offhandedly.

“My driving isn’t that bad,” Kelly argued, tucking a strand of blue hair behind her ear when it caught in the food on her fork. 

“You hit things on purpose,” Catherine argued.

“It’s an effective way to take out enemies,” Kelly defended. “Just run them over and problem solved.”

“Tell that to the backache I have after all the bumps,” Linda muttered. 

“I think it’s safe to say I’m the best driver here,” Horace bragged, stretching his arms above his head with a grin. 

“Cause you're too scared to go over thirty miles an hour,” Catherine mumbled, and Kelly coughed a laugh into her elbow.

“Back to the conversation at hand,” John interrupted.

“Are you ordering me to come to the assembly?” Catherine asked. 

John sighed, running a hand through his short hair. “No. But I would appreciate it if you came.” 

“I’ll think about it,” she agreed. In other words, she’d be trying to find a way to get out of it. 

The shooting range was fairly empty as John went about preparing his sidearm. He heard Horace’s loud footsteps approaching before he was even close enough to hear the other man’s breathing and heartbeat. 

“Can I give you a little advice, man to man?” Horace asked from the stall beside the Master Chief as he went about peeping his own gun. 

John didn’t offer a verbal answer, and instead simply cocked a brow at the marine. Horace took this as a green light. 

“There’s an art to getting your partner to do things they don’t want,” he began. 

“I don’t need to bribe Catherine,” he stated, looking down the scope of his weapon. 

“See, that’s where you're getting stuck. You don’t have to make Catherine want to go. You need her to know how much you want her there.”

“And how do you suggest I do that?” the Spartan asked offhandedly as he fired a few rounds. 

“Simple,” Horace began, examining his pistol before aiming it down the range. “You gotta play up the emotions a little. Hit her with the puppy eyes, ya know?”

John lifted his gaze away from his scope, blinking in confusion as his brow dipped. “Uhh, no. I don’t follow,” he said. “What are…puppy eyes?” He asked. 

Horace raised a brow at him curiously. “Ya know, the face a dog makes when it’s begging for food, big-eyed, innocent expression, tilt the head a little, don’t break eye contact-“

“I’ve never had a dog,” John interrupted. 

Horace sighed, placing his pistol down on the surface in front of him. “Alright, level with me. Pretend I’m Catherine-“ 

“I’d rather not,” John said with a wince. 

“Just practice the expression,” Horace said in exasperation. “Widen your eyes-no not like that you look surprised, raise your eyebrows, there you go,” Horace coached. 

“My eyes are watering. I feel ridiculous,” the Chief stated. 

“I never said this was easy, now tilt your head a little to the side…down a little- perfect!” Horace said, a broad grin on his face. 

Catherine had begun to look forward to her evenings after training the past few weeks. She would head to the mess hall after her shower and have a nice dinner with her team before John would inevitably slide his fingers through hers and lead her somewhere to spend time together. 

Sometimes they would watch something in the home theater, others they would simply go back to his quarters and sit in one another’s company. Usually, she’s read a book while the Master Chief worked on a mission report, but occasionally he’d pull her into his lap for a nap.

To Catherine’s delight, tonight proved to be one of those occasional nights where the Chief was in the mood to hold her close. 

“About the assembly,” John began, his thumb moving in soothing circles on her hip. She was seated facing him, just as she’d been in the caves, however, John certainly wasn’t freezing now. 

Catherine groaned, dropping her head onto his shoulder. The last thing she wanted to do was go to that assembly, and quite frankly she didn’t understand why he kept bringing it up. “What is so important about this assembly that I need to be there?” 

“It’s not that you need to be there,” he said, his nose bumping her ear softly. “I…I want you to be there.” 

Catherine felt her brow narrow slightly, not expecting the declaration and lifted her head to gaze at his face. 

John inhaled deeply as her bright green eyes came into view. Well, now or never. 

Catherine watched his features morph into a perfect picture of desperation. His big blue eyes held a pleading look, and the way he cocked his head to the side almost questioningly, as if he were asking her with just that simple motion if he could count on her, really did her in. “Who the hell taught you that?” she asked, her cheeks burning a bright red at the level of intensity in his gaze. She had thought the Chief to be handsome, but she hadn’t thought cute to be a word she’d ever use to describe him. And then it clicked. Horace. Her idiot best friend who used the very same tactic on poor Cassandra all the time. 

“Well?” he asked. 

“Nice try, but I’m not Cass, I don’t give in to that tactic.”

No, John realized. She wouldn’t. Catherine was a different woman entirely. Catherine needed an incentive. “Would it help if I told you I wanted you there…” he cupped the side of her face gently, his mouth moving to the spot on her neck just beneath her ear. “To have you all to myself for a day? It’s a three-day excursion, and the assembly will only be for the first afternoon. That would give us plenty of time together. Without Blue Team.”  

There, he’d revealed his hand to her. If she turned him down now there was nothing more to hide behind. It felt far more frightening than he’d expected to admit to her that he wanted her there for more personal reasons than her presence at the assembly itself, and he hadn’t had a clue as to why until he was waiting on the proverbial edge of his seat to see if she’d turn him down. 

Catherine felt her cheeks flush brightly at the suggestion. They hadn’t really gone anywhere as a couple without the rest of Blue Team on their heels. She had to admit she liked the idea of seeing the side of him the rest of their team didn’t get to see outside the confines of his quarters on the S-Deck. 

“That sounds…promising,” she said, as he continued that slow descent of kisses to her collarbone before lifting his head back up to meet her at eye level, raising a brow as he remained otherwise passive. Catherine knew better than that though if the uptick in his heartbeat was anything to go by. 

“Is that a yes?” 

Catherine let out a sigh, slumping against his chest in resignation. “Yes,” she murmured against his shoulder. “On the condition that you never take flirting advice from Horace ever again.”

This one was a silly little short I had bouncing around in my big galaxy brain this week so I hope you all liked it~

Tag list: @violinchick @starchaser-the-prophet @morganas-pendragons

[aliensunflower-fics]

How to Exploit Kindness [A New Kind of Lila Salt Prompt]

[ Ive seen Lila and Class salt that goes a lot of different ways. In some Lilas a sad lonely girl who will do anything for friends and the class fall for her lies through a mixture of manipulation and Lila’s genuine sad lonely but real persona. In others Lila is insane and the class get basically sucked into her cult. And in others still, Lila slowly breaks the class down by preying on there insecurities, hidden jealousies ect. There are the versions where Lila just bribes the class with connections and the versions where Lila frames Marinette until no one believes her. But I wanted to write a new idea for people to use, one that I feel is a bit more realistic. One where Marinette’s classmates are more their more authentic kind selves but still get slowly pulled into Lila’s web and where Lila is just a bit more intelligent. ]

[ As usual with all my prompts feel free to borrow the idea to write for your own thing salt, sugar, cuteness angst ect just be sure to credit me for the idea so I can read it. ]

Lila was furious! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! She was supposed to be everyone's friend! She was supposed to finally get a cute perfect boyfriend who would cherish her like she deserved! She was supposed to be HAPPY! But no, the pathetic beetle Ladybug and that goody two shoes Marinette kept ruining everything!

No… No that wasn’t quite true. As much as she wanted to blame her problems on those two it wasn’t entirely their faults. Honestly Lila wasn’t quite sure what had happened. Her lies had been working at first, they had gotten her praise and compliments and adoration and friendship! But now? Now they were all ignoring her, unimpressed by her celeb lies! She could not understand it! At first she’d been sure it was Marinette or Ladybug maybe even Adrien had turned on her! But when she’d probed for information she’d learned that none of them had blown the whistle. So what was it! Tomorrow… Tomorrow she will find out one way or another. She needed to get them back under her thumb somehow.

 It was Chloe who gave Lila her answers. Chloe was the reason none of her classmates cared about her stories! Chloe was the idiot mayor's brat. And what a brat she was constantly wiggling her way into her mothers fashion shoots or had celebrities over at the hotel. Of course Lila’s classmates didn’t care about Lila’s celebrity connections because Chloe was always name dropping just as many people as herself. The only difference was Lila used fake modesty and shyness that made her ‘friends’ view her lies in less of a gloating light than Chloe’s haughty claims of celebrity meetings.

It was a damn shame, celebrity lies were her bread and butter, they were exciting got people to think you were important and they were hard to prove or disprove allowing Lila to easily get around the messy little detail of ‘proof’ if someone asked for pictures all she could say was that her mom didn't let her take any because she didn't want her precious daughter being targeted by crazy fans. And if someone asked her to use her celebrity connections? Well she could just turn on the water works and cry about them just being her friend for her connections. Thus her prey would be forced to be her ‘friend’ , always listening to her and doing things for her, unable to ask for anything in return. Then when her mother announced their next move Lila would tearfully say goodbye and leave all her suckers behind. But without the sway of her celebrity lies her system broke down. That was the problem with picking the school full of rich talented idiots she supposed.

Well with Chloe ruining her system she’d need a new one. Scrolling through her classmates' social media for a clue she sneered at their overly cheerful and cutesy posts. Always encouraging one another and posting encouraging puff pieces about this or that. Always acting like they were so nice. As Lila scrolled over a charity fundraiser event that Alya had retweeted from Milene a sudden thought crossed her mind. Her classmates were very ‘nice’ and annoyingly so. They were always butting into each other's business, always being SO concerned, always organizing events to help each other and appreciate each other and going to charity events.

In fact now that she thought about it the stories that had intrigued her ‘friends’ always had some sort of charity garbage attached. Saving Jagged’s kitten or raising money for some cause or other that always got her heaps of praise. Sure saying Clara whatshername stole her dance moves got attention but not in the same way saying she raised money for some green project. Was it really that simple? Sure her classmates all loved Marinette for her extreme generosity and kindness but was it REALLY that simple? She needed to check.

 It was actually that easy. One simple little lie about how she pulled a blind old man out of danger when he was nearly run over and suddenly the class was bathing her in praise. And the ‘fact’ that the whole very real thing made her miss first period and sprain her ankle? Well that was just the cherry on top. Suddenly Max was offering her a copy of his notes and everyone was back to caring for her like she was a princess. The fact that Marinette looked like she was seething only for sweet naive Adrien to keep her mouth shut was just so perfect. She’d found her golden ticket. Her classmates were truly ‘good kind people’ and nothing could be exploited quite like kindness.

With this knowledge Lila would easily be able to destroy Marinette, sure she wouldn’t be able to do it quickly but slowly she would replace her, with every good deed she made up with every act of false modesty she would build a reputation greater than Marinette’s she would replace her and become there new ‘everyday ladybug’ and the best part was she wouldn’t have to say ANYTHING against Marinette. Not. A. Thing. No sweet righteous Marinette would eventually snap, sadly for her it would probably be too late with how much control Adrien had over her, so when it happened Marinette would look like the jealous crazy girl going after the girl that was kinder, sweeter, and better than herself. As for Adrien… Well she had a hard time believing it at first but he really was an idiot with a pretty face as long as she was careful as she built her new reputation he would genuinely believe that she was changing for the better and then he'd fall for her.

The best part was, her classmates were genuine. As she built her new good girl heart of gold persona they would genuinely come to love her, all the loyalty Marinette got to enjoy all the perks of being friends with such talented, kind, sweet people would become hers. Slowly no matter how Marinette struggled she would lose, eventually she’d have nothing left. Of course she’d need to be careful with her lies but that was easy. Bring the class to a charity here and there and tell them that she was the one who gave the idea for the charity to the actual organizer but didn't want any credit because she was just that kind and humble. If they tried to make her do actual work then she’d have a sudden accident that would require she sit down.

And then once she’d done more photoshoots with Adrien for Gabriel she’d ‘convince’ the man that a charity would make him look good and boost sales. She’d MAKE her lies true all while winning over her future father in law, and heck maybe she’d even pocket a little of the money, she could use a better wardrobe and the extra would be perfect to buy her ‘friends’ the occasional ice cream or presents. In between that she’d just lie about saving people or volunteering on weekends. Maybe even let it ‘slip’ how she was a temp hero for Ladybug . One of the sweetest parts was that between volunteering with Lila, there own activities and hanging out with Lila so she could ‘thank them for their hard work’ no one would be spending a second hanging out with sweet pink little Marinette, they'd abandon her without even realizing it because they’d be SO busy. Sadly this plan of hers would take a little more work then her others, but it would be worth it to become the queen bee of the class- NO the school! And when Marinette eventually slipped up and looked like the biggest jealous bully in the school. Well she’d have no choice but to leave the school with her tail in between her legs.

Victory was looking sweet and satisfying.

 [ And where it goes from here is up to you. Lila can win, she can slowly convince the class and school that she's a model citizen and an everyday hero. She can sneakily maneuver the class to not spend time with Marinette slowly separating the girl from her friends. In this way Alya and the rest of them don't become evil salty versions of themselves who overnight hate Marinette and love Lila, but rather they are good naive people who got slowly separated and tricked by someone who wants to use their genuine talents and skills to make herself look better. Adrien who is already shown to be naive and wants to believe the best in people, can fall into Lila’s trap and become genuinely convinced that his high road method really worked and ‘reformed’ Lila into a better person. OR Lila can fail, she can claim to be the wrong temporary hero for ladybug, or she can pick the wrong charity to lie about, or get exposed any number of ways and the class can realize with horror that because they are kind but flawed people who are perhaps too trusting and gullible that they got pulled away from Marinette through subtle manipulation and so they can be redeemed because instead of turning into outright bullies they stayed the same kind people they always were but just got genuinely tricked which is something that can actually happen in real life. You can go heavy salt where Marinette does eventually leave the school or class heartbroken that her kind friends have fallen prey to a bad person Marinette cant find a way to expose. Or you can go clever salt where Marinette figures out Lila’s plan and fights her from the inside slowly exposing the cracks in her facade. Or you can go sugar and redemption where maybe just maybe Lila actually LIKES being nice to people and having real friends who dont care about her fake celeb connections, maybe she honestly redeems herself and even makes amends with Marinette. You can do genuinely anything with this idea and I hope to see this generate some new less *and suddenly everyone is evil* content for those that like salt and angst. ]

[races-stupid-cigar]

1, 10, 12 and 44??

hi Cam love the mix of cute happy asks and murder it's like a nice toss salad of questions

1: who are your comfort characters? Most everyone from newsies obviously (Finch my boy my bird boy) and idk tails from sonic and sprig from amphibia the pokemon zoroark? The term comfort character gets thrown around so much ive kind of lost the meaning of it

10: would you slaughter the rich? Some yeah especially if their money is made off of crue practices but some people just need all their wealth and power gone and they are stuck living normal lives having to work for minimum wage seeing why they are the problem and what they have done and just how little say you get in large things if you can't bribe politicians. Fuck trump tho and the fox news guy. Just blindly slaughter the rich ends up with the problem of who counts and who gets the say in who dies so in theory it's a good idea but practicality has it's faults

12: what kind of day is it? Eh I've got tasks I need to do I just can't seem to start any of them (executive dysfunction woo) missing my friends a lot most of them are busy getting ready for collage as I'm here just waiting for shit to happen before I can actually do anything so a day I'm too much in my own head for

44: free pass to kill anyone? musk cosplays inventor discrediting actual breakthroughs in his fields extremely transphobic and over all a piece of shit who too many people blindly follow or trump just so he can't run again he already fucked up too much for too many vulnerable people also too many people blindly follow to the point of worship

[serendipitystation]

Holding Hands - a Kanej fanfic

Read it here, too: AO3

Summary: Several times that Inej and Kaz hold hands and what follows. Slow-burn, oneshot.

Length: Short

A/N:  Writing for these two is difficult, but that's a testament to Leigh Bardugo's wonderfully complex writing more than anything. Cheers, friends :)

i.

The first time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, they stand together looking down at the ship that will take them far apart from one another. To Inej, it is a miracle, a blessing; to Kaz, it is a gift, a tool for good in hands cleaner than his own. They both understand how their paths are destined to diverge, but there is no peace needing to be made with this. Divergence calls to reunion as light calls to dark. Their souls have been in close quarters long enough that a few thousand miles won't shatter their bond. As they watch a boat unload its newcomers to the city, they feel a joy that only the knowledge of better days can create. The darkness will return, but not today. Today is for joy and reunions and the most shockingly pleasant smile that Inej has ever seen on the face of the lord of the crows. Her happiness knows no end. Any prick of pain in Kaz's soul is easily ignored.

ii.

The second time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, Jesper and Wylan are singing the absolute worst song either of them have ever heard. While Specht helps Inej hire a crew for her ship, she and her parents are staying at the Van Eck home at Wylan's insistence. In the moments during which she leaves her parents' sides, Inej watches Wylan graviate towards the warmth of her father's countenance and Jesper flirt in shameless jest with her mother (he backs off slightly when Inej threatens to revoke his skillet bread priviledges). Kaz is the lone statue in the waving grass- he is cordial and as friendly as he's ever been, which doesn't say much, but he keeps a slight distance. One night, after dinner has been devoured, Wylan picks out a folk tune and sings lightly, while Jesper accompanies him with the most off-key harmonies to be heard any side of Ketterdam. As Inej feels Kaz's discomfort like a fog seeping across the floor, she melts into the shadows of a hallway just slow enough for Kaz to catch on. Under the nearly-dark sky of the back garden, they sit on a bench and watch the stars wink to life. Inej gently eases the glove off Kaz's right hand, feeling him tense up and relax with a slow shudder as the glove comes free. As the discordant sounds of their friends float in the cool air, Inej traces the creases of Kaz's hands and Kaz wills himself to not react, to keep his head above water, to let desire overrule history. Each time they touch, he gets better at floating.

iii.

The third time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, Kaz watches Inej giving orders aboard her ship as they prepare for their maiden voyage. She takes to the role of captain like a fish in water, the surety in her actions a strength she will need as she meets the unyielding sea. If she seems green at all for a captain, her crew know better than to question her due to her reputation as the Wraith, if not for her knives. Kaz can see her in his mind's eye, acting as justice's henchwoman among the waves, a puzzle piece that fits perfectly into its surroundings and completes them. He respects her abilities as much as he loves her. Loves. Kaz's mind has used the word before, yet using it now feels like a revelation. If any god were to call out from the heavens and announce him a Grisha, it would be less discordant to Kaz's nature than love in any form. Still, Kaz knows better than to deny the truth. He loves Inej and, in a few days, he will watch her sail away. When Inej comes to stand beside him, a look of satisfaction on her face, Kaz shakily slips his hand into hers. As he does so, Kaz swears she begins to smile.

iv.

The fourth time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, they are saying goodbye. Kaz doesn't do goodbyes- sentimentality shows weakness and he's long vowed to never look weak again. For Inej, however, he makes an exception, at least in private. In the mist of the morning of the launch, he slips onboard the Wraith and down the bustling deck to the quarters below. When he walks into the captains' quarters, Inej doesn't turn her head- she knows he's there; she could hear his lopsided gait all the way down the hall outside. They trade pleasantries about the ship, the voyage, everything but the inevitable goodbye to be faced. It is Inej who breaks gracefully; as Kaz prepares to leave, she walks up to him until they are but inches apart, takes both his hands, and reassures him that she will return. She can see the ice of his eyes melt and lets him thaw. Inej has known that she loves him for some time- unlike Kaz, her trauma isn't rooted in betrayal and she never feared the vulnerability of caring. Her love is a candle that she chooses to let burn, even as she acknowledges that love and destiny are not one and the same. As Kaz bends towards Inej, his forehead touching hers as light as a feather, the candle's flame grows stronger.

vi.

The sixth time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, Kaz's fingers trace a scar on Inej's arm. They sit in Kaz's office in the Slat, where prying eyes can make no assumptions about anything. Inej spent five months at sea before returning to Ketterdam, a length of time that ticked by at a glacial pace on Kaz's end. After regaling Jesper and Wylan with tales of her exploits upon her return, Inej had stolen away to the quiet safety of the Slat where the company was quieter. As Inej answers Kaz's questions with the patience, she adjusts the buttons at her wrists, revealing a flash of ropy skin on one arm. With a frown that stretches into shadows, Kaz reaches out to gently slide up Inej's sleeve, bringing into light the full fresh scar that zigzags up her arm. Kaz's face settles into its familiar scheming expression as the red of rage clouds his vision. Only Inej's voice, the featherlight sweep of her finger across his creased brow, and the shiver that travels his limbs like lightning bring him back to reality. As he wills the anger to subside, he reviews what he knows to be true; Inej is capable, strong, and not needing to be saved. She's no longer his investment- she's here because she chose him. Why his ego is so unperturbed by it all, he doesn't really know. Until Inej speaks up, Kaz doesn't realize that he's smiling.

viii.

The eighth time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, the ghosts that frequent Kaz's room watch them. Night has long fallen over Ketterdam and the prospect of Inej embarking on her next voyage looms over Inej. Her desire for life has not changed, nor has her mission, though it hurts to leave. Tonight, Inej has lingered far past the setting of the sun in Kaz's company. Getting back to her ship would be no problem- captain or Wraith, she walks the streets free of fear- but she doesn't particularly want to leave. As Kaz removes his waistcoat in his bathroom, Inej lays back on his bed and watches him. Out of the corner of his eye, Kaz catches her gaze and sarcastically offers to share the bed. What he doesn't expect is for her to strip down to her vest and pants tuck herself in. When Kaz puts out the lights and slides into the bed that barely fits them both, there's a strange weight that settles in their chests. They stay apart, both unsure. Then Kaz slips his hands into Inej's and the weight lifts and it feels like the world has fallen into place. They watch the dim light of the city carve through the shadows on the ceiling and, as they fall asleep to each other's breathing, the ghosts take the night off.

xii.

The twelfth time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, their faces are grim in the coal-streaked dawn. The hour for casting off from the harbour approaches the Wraith too fast for anyone's liking, but especially for Kaz. Caring is a weary task and a luxury that shadows can't afford, even as his soul becomes more intertwined with the captain whose knives protect a heart he longs to hear beat next to his. In the light of day and surrounded by the waking city, Kaz looks the part of Dirtyhands, all sharp lines and sharper glances. Inej knows that the persona is just that- a front crafted with years of practice, however jaded and survivalist he has become. She can see his mortality in the tells only she knows- the set of his mouth, the crag of his brow, the care with which he watches the crew. She doesn't need to hide anything, not like he does, but no smile graces her lips all the same. When it comes time to cast off, Inej holds Kaz's palms in hers and takes a piece of his heart. Kaz wasn't sure he had one to give away. As he watches the Wraith disappear on the endless gray horizon, he feels the painful pull of it moving farther away. He'll never get used to the sensation.

xiii.

The thirteen time that Kaz and Inej hold hands, it's a bright afternoon. The sea air wends its way through the streets of Ketterdam close to the harbour, stray gulls slicing through the air of the nearby alleyways. Kaz doesn't pass the docks on his way across the city; he rarely needs to these days. With his shares in Fifth Harbour long gone and the sea busy only with the usual flurry of trading ships, there's no reason to visit. If he wishes he had cause to do so, he tells no one. Only Inej would know otherwise, were she present- secrets can't hide from her.

When Kaz makes it to the Slat, it's quiet, as most afternoons find it. The crew are out and about on their assignments, as they should be, even though a few stray folk keep the din of the house to a reasonable level. Kaz walks into his office, fully prepared for a day of reviewing the week's profits, but he knows that the day will prove eternally better the moment he walks in. He can feel Inej's presence before he sees her sitting behind his desk. Inej won't tell him that she bribed Anika to keep the news of her arrival away, nor does she need to mention that she took the rooftops to reach the Slat- he'll already have figured it out. He doesn't need to say he missed her- she can tell from his face and the way he comes around the desk and intertwines his fingers with hers, all while telling her to take her boots off his desk. Neither of them need to say anything. They both know they're where they belong- together.

[introvert--weeb]

hi!! I was wondering if I could get a matchup w a TokRev character? :)

I'm 158cm, she/her, 17 y/o, an extrovert and an ESTJ. I'm bisexual, but more into guys than girls. I'm good in both sports like netball &volleyball and academics especially in Mathematics&Chemistry. I have a major sweet tooth, my favourite dessert is strawberry cake. My hobby is to play w makeup, read/watch and dressing up(anything fashion related). My love language is gift giving!

I like being recognized for my strengths but do not like to boast about it, so sometimes I get upset when others do not see my strength. However when I'm upset, I really don't show it as I'm afraid of what others would think of it. (abandonment&trust issues; I was bullied and betrayed by my 'friends' a few years ago which lead me to force myself to be an ideal & perfect person)

I also have been told that I'm a good leader bc ik how to motivate&influence others. I have a good sense of humor because of my brother who I really look up to. I force myself to be confident so that the people around me would be attracted to me and surround me. I sometimes push myself too hard and might forget to take care of myself (ex; skipping meals, not sleeping).

For how I look, I have silver coloured bangs with straight black hair which goes just right below my shoulders, brown eyes and my most favourite part of my whole body is my lips. (because i think i have a decent smile!) I am considered average sized in term of body size, not too thin and not too chubby. also really careful of my body weight because ive been mocked for being overweight when i was younger. x

I really like your blog and writing, by the way!! I really enjoy them and they relief a lot of my stress. keep up the good work and hope to read more from you soon. xx have a wonderful day! <3

Thank you so much anon! You sound so sweet ❤️

I am pairing you off with...

Mikey Sano ❤️

How the two of you had met was through you having the only table that had spare seats in the new dessert place. Draken and Mikey had entered and the shorter blond got pouty when all the tables were full. Draken couldn't deal with a grumpy Mikey and so scanned the area only to find your table free with three other seats. He had made his way over and asked if you wouldn't mind if they joined your table. Thinking nothing of it, you agreed and that's how you had met the infamous Manjiro Sano.

You would both frequent that cafe and eventually started to talk about anything and everything with each other. It was around here that you both had developed feelings for each other. He had been the one to ask you on a date and the rest is, as they say, history.

Due to you being quite good at academics and Mikey always skipping school in favour of other things, you would have to help him when it comes to studying. Buy a load of sweet snacks though as this is the only way you can get the blond to focus on what he needs to. Sure, it isn't good to bribe anyone but when push comes to shove, that was the only way he was going to cooperate.

Mikey would be quick to introduce you to the rest of Toman, mainly the Captains and Vice Captains. It wouldn't take long until you were close with them all, especially Mitsuya. In fact, Takashi would ask if you could model some of his new clothing for him which you agreed to and really enjoyed. After all, who doesn't love a little dress up every now and then?

When it came to becoming friends with Baji, your study dates with Mikey would become a three man activity. After all, you were academic and those two boys weren't. Although, Baji did want to get better to make his mum proud and that you found all too sweet. So you had no problem checking over all of Keisuke's work and helping him with spelling when he decided to write another letter.

Your love language suited Mikey so well. He enjoyed knowing that you thought of him as you were out and so when you would hand him a gift (mainly desserts you saw while out with your friends), he would be over the moon. He would try to repay the favour but since his love language was physical touch, expect more cuddles and kisses than gifts in return.

Being as observant as he is, Mikey would notice if your self care was being neglected and would bring it up with you. Sure it was with a frown and his tone was disapproving, but you knew he meant well. So he would make it his mission to get you back on track again. Cuddles in his bed until you dozed off, home cooked meals, dates to the dessert cafe you first met. Anything you needed, he would try his best to provide in his own way.

Play in a sports team? Well, Mikey is going to be showing up at your matches. Sometimes with the entire Toman admin but most of the time it was simply with Emma and Draken. Would be super supportive and cheer you on throughout. He was like your own personal cheerleader! It can be a little embarrassing, sure, but you appreciated the effort he went to to show you how much he cared.

All in all, this relationship is the sugary sweet one. You would have to provide lots of desserts for the gang leader and he would make sure you were taken care of. It was very much give and take, even if it wasn't in the same way.