#FUNNY NOOOOO </3

[steampunkedparm]

how long do you guys think i can hide my birthday from my partner

[smile-files]

oh yeah i watched the new ii and it was pretty wack. my only two thoughts are

i love cabby

they had to neutralize clover?????? hello?????????

[five-of-cr]

the crows texting

jesper: texts back within 3 minutes no matter the time of day, keysmashes, so many emojis, way too meme literate for his own good, VOICE NOTES

wylan: auto-caps but no punctuation because text-to-speech and he can't be bothered, snarky as FUCK

nina: types SO fast, best usage of emojis, caps lock fiend, always roasting people (especially kaz and jesper)

matthias: emojis used incorrectly, gif reactions to everything, individually checks in on people if he thinks nina roasted them too hard

inej: frequent heart emojis and :) emoticons, official chat lurker, almost never sends memes but when she does they're incredible, always responds "lol" to nina's roasts

kaz: auto-caps and proper punctuation because jesper told him it causes him physical pain to read. typing bubble appears for 30 seconds followed by just the word "K." originally refused to use emojis but started when he heard wylan offhandedly say how much he liked them since he can't read

kuwei: sooooo bad at responding, but when he does it's like 19 times in a row, uses the most random-ass emojis, the definition of chaotic neutral, is the only one who gets jesper's meme references 100% of the time

[twinstxrs]

i’m trying to catch up with as much dimension 20 as i can before fantasy high junior year, i’m currently on a starstruck odyssey, and can i just say: there is truly no greater example of ally beardsley’s dnd progress than the parallel of ally as kristen applebees willingly taking 36 points of damage, bringing kristen down to 3 hit points as kristen plummets multiple stories due to a failed attempt to use a ribbon dance as a way to fly down 10 stories, and ally as margaret encino willingly taking 11 points of damage, bringing margaret down to 3 hit points so margaret can fall 30 feet from a camera nest, walk up to a giant corn guy, and say “you suck” as all the intrepid heroes look on assuming this to be usual beardsley tomfoolery, only for margaret to walk away & trigger an attack of opportunity which gives murph as barry a chance to push this guy off a ledge & possibly win them the entire encounter & over 1 million credits. INSANE. ally beardsley i’m obsessed with your mind

[bloomingundertheshadows]

Production did SM dirty by showing Hwi understanding that Sugar Butter is because JS is a baker while he remains totally clueless.

[altruistic-meme]

OUGHHH I FOROGR

[sevicia]

Ohh yah yesterday my sister's best friend came over for a while and we went to the supermarket which is nice I Wuv the supermarket.... and when we were having dinner (they made fajitas, I just ate meat and corn LOL<3) we talked abt a lot really interesting stuff cause she (my sister's bestieee) is studying to be an ocupational therapist I think ? And she's super funny too omg >< but genuinely sweet, I'm really happy my sister has a friend like her yk... She was talking about having a class called literally just Autism (I and II) and it was so funny cause I joked like "Did you talk about passing The Autism Test with your classmates" and she went YEAH!!!!!! & later we were still at the table while my sister did her makeup to go her BF's best friend's birthday (???) party and she talked about her mother-in-law going through an exorcism because her bf's family is full of religious fanatics who took her to see a Machi and a priest BEFORE taking her to a doctor when she was literally having a psychotic mental breakdown (??) not sure how to say it, but she was doing very very bad mentally and lashing out by yelling threats at her family and they all thought the best solution was to get some dumbfuck priest to scream bible verses at her while their extended family held hands chanting prayers around them like that is INSANE. The priest also used their shower and ate their food BTW like it was ridiculous. Oh and he recorded the """exorcism""" and put it on Youtube without ANYONE'S consent. AND he (along with some member's of the bf's family) would call my sister's bff SATANIC and HERETIC and you wanna know why?? FOR DOING BREATHING EXERCISES WITH HER MOTHER IN LAW. LIKE HOLY SHITTTT crazy insane. She was trying to help her with what she's learning in school and it was doing a good job at calming her down. and they insult her. HELLO?????

Anyways she and her bf (+ his brothers) finally made her father in law snap out of it and take his wife to a doctor where they evaluated her and gave her meds and she's doing MUCH better now. I've never met this lady because Why Would I... but it does make me angry to know how badly her own family treated her.

Oh after that we talked about religion (we all went to the same catholic school LOL) and I read (and translated) some parts of poems I like and she GOT them which is so refreshing like not being the only one looking at the wall head in hands style....... ykwim.

[houkagokappa]

As a finnish homestuck fan I do not have a normal reaction to buckets. They're simultaneously the best and worst thing I could come across at any given time

[deadm0ss]

there will be moms who's fav activity is waking up in a rage walking to the kitchen and screaming at you for it being dirty (fair ig) and then not letting you leave the kitchen till they do to keep your in their sights so you stay cleaning (not fair you're literally giving me tasks that i need to leave the room to complete, not letting me leave the room and then getting mad when i don't complete them) and then they go back 2 sleep like nothing happened and will pretend this didnt happen and scream again if u even suggest it

[hennike]

this was so failgirl of him

[todayisafridaynight]

ssssSIGHHHHHHHH. i miss daigo *was just looking at him*

YEAH..

[geteaten]

the username neoyorke is taken...

[area51-escapee]

That reminds me that when I was in middle school I had a brief phase where I thought I was gonna grow up to be a tattoo artist. Don’t know why. I went through a lot of “yep, this is my future career” phases and none of them panned out but especially not this one. Anyway my dad was really disappointed when he found out and he told me I couldn’t do that. Because tattoo parlors are dirty and I’d get infections from the needles. And for the next few days my 13 year old self sat with that thinking. Does he really think I’m gonna get infections from fucking giving tattoos.

[ham1lton]

just a normal girl.

pairings: charles leclerc x comedienne!reader.

summary: just a normal girl is a stand-up netflix comedy special performed by actress and comedienne y/n l/n in which she discusses her childhood, her horrible first meeting with her boyfriend and being a twenty something in london.

author’s note: based on that one anon’s dream but i changed it up slightly! also eid mubarak to all my muslim followers celebrating today! this is for you <3 i also have a new taglist so please help me out by filling it if you’d like to be tagged in future works!

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

JUST A NORMAL GIRL TRANSCRIPT.

Y/N L/N: so, charles decides to take me shopping. fancy, right? we walk into this chic little boutique and, surprise, the shopkeeper only speaks french. now, i don’t speak french. at all. my entire french vocabulary consists of 'oui' and 'croissant.' meanwhile, charles is chatting away like he’s in a romance film, all suave and shit.

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: and there i am, standing there, smiling and nodding like i understand every word. for all i knew, charles could be telling the guy, 'this is my new project. she thinks monaco is in morocco. and i’ve been dared to make her over like that one freddie prinze jr film.' and i’m just like, 'yes, absolutely. très bien.’

[audience laughs harder]

Y/N L/N: so charles is chatting to the guy in french as they go through the boutique and he inevitably finds this gorgeous dress. he hands it to me, all excited, like ‘try it on! you’ll look stunning’ and i look at the price tag. why was this dress more than my rent? for that price the dress needs to fill my fridge, put shelter over my head and fly like a magic carpet.

Y/N L/N: i exit the changing room, because when a cute guy asks me to do something… i can’t say no. i can’t help it! i can’t say no to pretty faces!

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: charles is looking at me in this dress like i’m an angel from above and i’m calculating the amount of ramen noodles i’ll have to buy to smooth over my overdraft. maybe if i wear it every day for the next sixty five years, it’ll work itself out? then charles chats to the shopkeeper and points at me and then at charles and i’m thinking… what the hell are they saying about me. he’s probably telling charles ‘this girl is not for you. she’s very clueless and can’t handle the high life you are accustomed to’.

[audience boos the shopkeeper]

Y/N L/N: oh no, don’t boo him. he was right. i was clueless and unable to handle the high life. charles looks at me smiling like ‘should we get the dress?’. on the inside i’m like, NOOOOOOOOOOOO but on the outside i’m like, oh sure, yeah, why not. but he rings it up and says ‘that’ll be 32,489 euros please’ and i want to die. but then charles just hands over his card and i remember… i’m dating a guy who probably earns my life savings in a day. life goals, am i right ladies?

[the ladies in the audience cheer]

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liked by netflix, charles_leclerc and 483,938 others.

yourusername: tfw your netflix special is number one for two weeks so ur man buys u two flower bouquets. guys get please me to three so i can get another <3

also i have had a recent influx of followers? so hi. i’m y/n, i act and i think i’m funny sometimes. if you’ve watched my netflix special? mwah <- that’s me kissing your forehead.

view all 2,737 comments

charles_leclerc: not you cheating on me in your caption ☹️🙁

-> yourusername: sorry you had to find out this way <3

user1: omg is she muslim?? and a hijabi??

-> user2: finding yn… inshallah they find her.

user4: NOOOO HE’S TAKEN….

-> user4: BY A BADDIE TOO…. NOOOOO

maxverstappen1: made a netflix account to watch you and it was good! 👍🏻

-> yourusername: thank you user maxverstappen1. always appreciate the support from grassroots fans such as yourself.

arthur_leclerc: wait was the kidnapping story real?

-> yourusername: obviously! i have never lied in a comedy special. exaggerated, perhaps, but never lied! what sort of woman do you take me for?

user6: why can’t we see your face in any of these pics?

-> yourusername: because you can see my face on netflix in hd in my new comedy special - just a normal girl :)

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

JUST A NORMAL GIRL TRANSCRIPT.

[spotlight on y/n l/n standing center stage, audience is attentive]

Y/N L/N: the first time charles invited me to a formula 1 race. i know, right? fancy! i mean, i usually spend my weekends binge-watching netflix in my pajamas, and suddenly, i’m in the vip section at a grand prix. talk about a plot twist.

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: so, we get there, and i'm already feeling out of place. everyone is dressed to the nines in designer outfits, and i’m wearing the only fancy dress i own, which is basically just a black dress i got on sale at h&m. but i’m trying to fit in, pretending i know what’s going on. spoiler alert: i have no idea what’s going on.

[audience laughs louder]

Y/N L/N: charles is introducing me to all these important people, and they’re all speaking this mix of french, italian, and who-knows-what. and i'm just standing there, smiling and nodding, because that’s my default mode in these situations.

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: then, charles introduces me to his team, and they start explaining all these technical details about the car. and i’m thinking, 'wow, this is fascinating,' but honestly, it sounds like they’re speaking another language. they could be telling me the car runs on unicorn tears, and i’d just nod along, 'ah yes, absolutely. unicorn tears. very efficient. not very sustainable though….’

[audience laughs]

Y/N L/N: alright, so while we’re on the topic of my boyfriend, let me tell you about the time my family found out i was dating a rich formula one driver. you’d think they’d be excited for me, proud even. but no, my family? they just saw dollar signs.

Y/N L/N: so, i’m visiting my family for the holidays, and everything is going well. we’re having dinner, catching up, and then my aunt, bless her heart, leans over and whispers, 'is it true? are you really dating a formula one driver?' and i’m like, 'well yes, aunt sarah, it’s true.'

Y/N L/N: now, my family is not subtle. at all. within minutes, it’s like they’ve formed a council of war. my uncle pulls out his phone and starts googling charles. my mom is like, 'how much money does he make?' and my dad is suddenly very interested in the price of sports cars.

Y/N L/N: i’m sitting there, trying to eat my mashed potatoes, and they’re plotting how to get charles to invest in my cousin’s failed business. my cousin, who once tried to sell homemade kombucha and ended up giving half the neighbourhood food poisoning. that cousin.

[audience laughs heartily]

Y/N L/N: my brother, always the opportunist, chimes in with, 'hey, maybe he can get us a discount on a new ferrari!' like it’s a shein code that you can input on the website and i’m just sinking lower in my chair, wishing i could disappear.

Y/N L/N: so, i finally snap. i stand up and say, 'look, i know i’m broke, but i’m fine. i don’t need to use charles as an atm. he’s not a walking bank account, he’s a person.' and they’re all just staring at me, like i’ve grown two heads.

Y/N L/N: then my grandma, who hasn’t said a word all night, just quietly stands up and says, 'well, if he’s that rich, maybe he could at least buy us a new dishwasher. the old one is on its last legs.' and i’m like, 'seriously, grandma?'

[audience laughs louder]

Y/N L/N: but you know, through all this, charles has been amazing. he’s patient, understanding, and he never makes me feel bad about my financial situation. i’m broke, but i’m fine. and honestly, i think that’s what makes us work. i keep him grounded, and he... well, he reminds me that sometimes, it’s okay to splurge on the extras.

[audience cheers and applauds]

Y/N L/N: but here’s the thing about dating someone like charles. the highs are incredible, but there are lows too. there are moments when you feel like you’re in a fairy tale, and then there are times when reality hits you hard. like, after that amazing day at the race, we got home and charles was still buzzing from the win. and i… i was just exhausted.

[audience quiets down, listening intently]

Y/N L/N: i remember lying in bed that night, charles fast asleep beside me, and i couldn’t help but think about how different our worlds are. he’s out there living his dream, racing cars and traveling the world, and i’m just trying to keep up, trying to fit into a life that sometimes feels so foreign to me.

Y/N L/N: it’s hard, you know? being with someone who’s so extraordinary when you feel so ordinary. there’s this constant fear that one day he’ll wake up and realize he deserves someone who belongs in his world, someone who isn’t just pretending.

[audience is silent, reflective]

Y/N L/N: but then i look at him, and i see how much he loves me, how he looks at me like i’m the only person in the room, and for a moment, all those doubts fade away. because maybe, just maybe, being a normal girl is exactly what he needs in his extraordinary life.

[audience applauds softly]

Y/N L/N: thank you for listening, everyone. you've been amazing! enjoy the rest of your night. i know i will!

[spotlight dims, y/n exits to a heartfelt applause]

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liked by ynwifey, f1wags and 587,828 others.

yourusername: birds of a feather, we should stick together 🎶

tagged: @charles_leclerc

view all 34,937 comments

user1: SHES SO PRETTY

-> user4: BADDEST BITCH

user9: mashallah sis! you look gorgeous :)

*liked by yourusername.*

user10: a billie fan!!!! omg!!

user89: charlesyn is so cute. funny gf x pretty bf.

-> user12: the way she is also pretty gf but he isn’t funny bf 😔

landonorris: no one wants to see happy couples on the timeline thanks x

-> yourusername: unfollow me x

-> landonorris: but who will make me laugh then 😔

-> yourusername: knock knock 😋

-> landonorris: who’s there 😁

-> yourusername: single 🙀

-> landonorris: single who? 🤨

-> yourusername: single you! still waiting for a punchline and a date 😊

-> landonorris: 😔

-> randomstalkerfan1: i’ll date you lando! :D

-> landonorris: would rather stay single thanks x

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[suiana]

i know i always write rich yanderes so how about a broke! yandere for a change 🤑

he works two jobs, maybe three, just to get enough money to feed into his obsession with you. bro doesn't even have a bed, just a huge ass shrine, a pillow, and a blanket (probably made with clothes he stole from you).

like this guy could be rich if he didn't spend it all on you. but he doesn't care at all. you deserve the best after all!

bro probably sacrificed his mortage, his life savings, therapy money, retirement money and all that just to bend to your whims.

even if you're... just his friend.

however..! he's sure that while you say all that, you probably really like him too, right? like deep down inside, you reciprocate his love and really really obsess over him and would be his darling forever. that's why you're so comfortable asking him to spend his money on you right?! (you don't like him, he's just delusional that's why he needs therapy)

"lol i think it would be funny if you bought me that plushie-"

"aha... it really would..."

*casually maxes out his credit card to buy you that plushie in all the available colours*

like atp you're gonna end up as the one spoiling and paying for everything 💀 and the first thing you're gonna do when he starts running low on cash and eventually get fired from his job is to send him to therapy.

"dude the roles have changed. I'm gonna spoil you now."

"w-what?! no no! don't even-"

"𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖒 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖘. I'll take care of you. now go to therapy :3"

"nooooo!"

i <3 broke yanderes

[callsign-dexter]

Love in the Moonlight 18+

Request: Hiya ❤️ hope you don't mind me sending in a Tim Bradford idea 😊 I thought about something where they're colleagues and close friends (with crushes) but she distances from him as he starts going out for dates. He notices that and one night comes to her apartment to confront her. But as he sees her in her nightgown he can't resist and kisses her, making love to her, and she never stops him. Afterwards they cuddle and he admits that he just went on dates to get rid of the feelings he has towards her, but now all he wants is her to be his girl, which she happily accepts. Thank you in advance sweetheart 💋 you're the best !

Pairings: Tim Bradford x Police Officer!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, smut

Masterlist

A/N: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms Tim smut for ya hope you're prepared....

Love can make you do some crazy things. Love could make you jealous to the point of doing something you regret. Love can make you think of nobody else besides that person. Love is just unpredictable. Love is something you want with Tim but it seems like you were the only one that wants that. Tim doesn’t even seem that interested in you and you hated that. Every time you saw Tim you fell further in love but he just seems to see you as one of the guys and that kills you. What you didn’t know was that he loved you too but was too afraid to show. Every date you went on made him jealous and every date he went on shattered your heart a little more each time. You wanted that to be you. You wanted to be the one wrapped in his coat on a windy night or under his arm sleeping in his bed. 

Tim and you were very close and the crush started when you both got out of the academy and then when you both got accepted at the same precinct. Where he became a TO you just became a regular officer and you loved it. You and Tim did everything together from texting each other 24/7, eating lunch together, having each other over at each other’s apartments, crashing at each other places when one became too drunk, even to the point of going to the movies together. You both had everything from bathroom necessities to both of your favorite types of coffee at each other’s apartments.  How were you not supposed to fall in love with the man you hang out with all the time? 

The only people that knew of this crush was your two best friends Angela and Talia who had sworn to secrecy not to say anything. You had girls’ night often and you would rant and rave about it and they would sympathize with you. You even talked to them about maybe transferring to another unit or taking the offer that the FBI that you kept getting offers from. Currently you were out with the girls, that included Lucy now, at a bar that you visited frequently. Everyone was a few drinks in but you were further into them and feeling it. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. Clearly, he doesn’t like me like that and he only sees me as one of his guy friends. I can’t keep going on with this burning aching feeling of love for him. It’s to the point that I’m considering taking that offer that the FBI has been sending me. I would be in Quantico, VA and far away from him.” You said taking a drink of your beer that had been freshly poured. 

“Oh honey, he feels so much more towards you.” Lucy said and you scuffed.

“Bullshit. He has a funny way of showing it.” You said. You were definitely drunk. “I just want to have hot crazy sex with him.” You said and everyone chuckled.

“Ok, that is enough for you.” Angela said “I’m gonna call Tim to come and get you.” She said and you looked at her horrified. You all had taken a cab to the bar since you all were drinking and then you had planned for Nolan or Jackson to come and get you all. You had taken one earlier to secure a spot and started drinking about 3 minutes before them starting with the hard stuff aka Fireball. 

“Nooooo, you can’t do that.” You said beginning to slur. That was the thing about you two, the both of you would drop everything to come to each other aid no matter what and no matter where.

“Yes, I’m calling him.” Angela said and pulled out her phone and dialed his number in. “I’m also calling Nolan afterwards to come and get us. We’re calling it a night.” She said and then Tim answered she started talking to him. 

——————————————————————

Tim was out having a date with Teresa and was not having a good time. He really wished that he was with you at the moment with you cuddled in his arms. Tim was bored. She was going on about something that happened at work and he was halfway paying attention to her. Suddenly he heard his phone ringing and he mentally sighed in relief, he pulled it out and saw that it was Angela calling and he frowned, a million questions ran through his head: ‘Did something happen?’, ‘Were you alright?’. He answered it without hesitation.

“Angela, is everything ok?” He asked right out of the gate.

“Tim, hi. I know you’re on a date right now but Y/N is absolutely hammered. Can you come and get her?” She asked

“Of course. Is she ok?” He asked, reaching for his wallet.

“If you would consider her about to get into a bar fight with a guy that touched her ass, then yeah.” She said and that made his eyes widened in panic.

“I’ll be there soon. Just keep her contained. I’m 5 minutes away.” He said

“We’ll try our best. But you know your girl is strong as hell.” She said and his heart skipped a beat when she said that. “Just hurry.” She said and then hung up and so did he.

Teresa was looking at him as he finished the call. “Let me guess you need to go.” She said and he nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He said and she smiled.

“It’s ok. Raincheck?” She said and he nodded. He got in and started the trip to the bar that was only 5 minutes away. He was quick to spot you and Angela outside and you were sitting on the curb looking drunk as all get out and he knew you would be feeling it in the morning. 

——————————————————————

Angela saw the lights of his truck and sighed in relief. “Y/N, your knight in shining armor has arrived.” She said with a smirk and you looked at her.

“No, he is not. He doesn’t love me like that.” You slurred and she shook her head. Tim parked the truck and got out and walked over to you.

“How much did she have to drink?” He asked and you looked up at hearing his voice.

“Timothy!” You slurred and tried to stand up but fell and he sighed but helped you stand up. 

“I think she started drinking before we arrived.” Angela said and Tim turned toward you.

“Y/N how much have you had to drink?” He asked using his cop voice and you looked at him and started thinking.

“Like 6 shots of Fireball, several glasses of beer, and lots and lots of shots. Speaking of shots, can we go in and get more?” You asked, already starting to turn towards the bar.

“Nope as a friend, I’m cutting you off.” He said and that sent a pang of hurt through your chest.

“Right friend.” You said and let him help you get in his truck. He turned to Angela who was walking with you both and she was opening the door since he was pretty much holding you up. He guided you up into the truck and made sure you were buckled in and then shut the door and turned to Angela. 

“I shouldn’t be telling you this but that girl has had a crush on you since you both got out of the academy. She literally would drop everything for you and you know it and I know you too. It hurts her every time you go out with someone because she wishes that it was her.” She said and he shook his head.

“That’s not true.” He said and she shook her head. “No, she doesn’t. We’re just very good friends.” He said and she shook her head.

“Whatever, just get her home safely.” Angela said and turned back and walked back into the bar. 

Tim got into the truck. He looked over at you and you were sound asleep and he smiled. He put the truck into drive and headed to your apartment. It was a silent ride to your apartment and when he got there. He pulled into a parking spot next to your car and got the truck parked and killed the engine. Then he was walking over to the passenger’s and opened it and unbuckled your seatbelt and gently got you and carried you. When he got to the front door, he grabbed his keys and found your key and unlocked the door. Yes, he had a key to your place and you had a key to his place. He unlocked the door and shut it going straight to your bedroom. He gently laid you down and pulled off your shoes and then covered you up. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed some Tylenol and a bottle of Gatorade and then walked into your office and wrote a note then, he walked it to your room and sat it on the nightstand. He grabbed your phone and plugged it in and then left.

The next morning you woke up to your phone alarm blaring and your head was pounding and you were hung over. You turned over to shut it off and then noticed the note along with the Gatorade and Tylenol. 

Take these and drink all of the Gatorade. It’ll help.

-Tim

You smiled and took the Tylenol and drank the Gatorade as you got ready for the day. By the time you were leaving all of it was gone and you were feeling better. You walked out to your car and got into your car and then you were off to work. You saw Tim’s truck and smiled but then you decided to park next to Nolan’s and got you and walked into the precinct. You greeted everyone and headed to the locker room where you quickly got changed and then walked into the briefing room, it was mostly full and few seats left. Tim noticed you walked in and smiled and motioned to the open seat next to him but you bowed your head and decided to sit next to Smitty of all people and that made him frown, you always sat beside him. Sergeant Grey walked in and started the briefing and then when he was done you shot out of there in a hurry before Tim had even gotten a chance to come and say hi or ask you how you were feeling. 

Lately you had noticed him going on more dates and being happy and that was killing you on the inside. So, you started to distance yourself from him. At first it was making excuses when he asked to hang out and then not answering his every phone call, or hardly texting him and when you text back you would send a short or one worded answer. You even started to take separate lunches or take yours to go. It saddened him that you were pulling away but he didn’t let it show and that upset you, it was like he didn’t even care. 

Lucy and he did catch up to you when you were getting your bags and stuff “Hey, Y/N.” Tim said and you tensed and turned to him.

“Oh, hey.” You said 

“How are you feeling?” He asked

“Fine.” You said and then grabbed your stuff and you were heading to your shop. 

“Hey, are you free tonight? There is a movie out that I thought we could see together.” Tim asked 

“No, sorry. I have plans.” You said and then you were gone before he could get another word out. 

Once you were alone out on the streets you were fine and actually happy. You answered calls here and there and they were mostly easy. There were a few that you had to take in and there were a few traffic stops. It was nearing lunch time and you dreaded it. You pulled over into a parking lot when you saw your phone light up and buzz. You looked at it and saw a few missed calls from Tim but you were busy during that time and a few texts from him. You sighed and debated if you wanted lunch but then your stomach growled and you groaned and put your shop into drive and headed to the usual lunch place. You parked and got out and headed that way you saw Tim and smiled but it quickly faded when a girl came up to him and kissed him. You caught the eye of Angela and Talia when Tim broke apart from the girl, he followed their eyes and saw you and his heart sank. Lunch be damned, you would eat later, you need to talk to Wade. You turned back to your shop and was off before he could even get up or say anything. 

You arrived back at the precinct and parked your shop in the bay and then you were walking into the building and heading to Wade’s office. When you got there you knocked on the door and he looked up and waved you in “Officer Y/L/N, what can I do for you?” He asked and you sighed.

“You know that I’ve been getting offers from the FBI in Quantico, VA specifically from the BAU.” You said and he nodded.

“I do. What is this about?” He asked 

“As much as this pains me to say, I want to take their offer and transfer.” You said and he nodded.

“Are you for sure you want to do this?” He asked and you nodded.

“Very sure, sir.” You said and your phone started buzzing but you ignored it.

“Do you want to get that?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No, sir. It can wait.” You said and he nodded.

“I’ll start putting the request in. I’ll be sad when you leave, you’re one of my best officers. I just want you to know that if you ever want to come back you always have a place right here with us.” He said and you nodded smiling.

“Thank you, sir.” You said and he smiled and you left his office running into Angela.

“Hey, what were you talking to Wade about?” She asked

“I asked for the transfer.” You said and she was shocked.

“Seriously?” She asked and you nodded.

“I need to get out of here.” You said and she nodded.

“Is this about Tim?” She asked and you didn’t say anything but she knew her answer and smiled “I get it. I’m gonna miss you when you go.” She said and she laughed but hugged you.

“I’m gonna miss you too.” You said and then you broke apart and then you saw Tim and he was looking at you but you said nothing and walked back to your shop to continue your shift.

This was the right move for you and your career. Right?

——————————————————————

The end of everyone’s shift was nearing and everyone couldn’t wait to be home. There was something that Sergeant Grey was needing to talk to Tim about and requested him to meet in his office. So that was where he was going now. He knocked on the door and was waved in. “Officer Bradford, I want to talk about you taking the sergeants exam.” Wade said and Tim nodded.

“Yes, I’ve been studying for it.” He said and Wade nodded. Tim was looking at him and then something caught his eye. Something that had your name on it. He focused on it more and saw it was a transfer request to the FBI and his heart sank. He knew that you had been getting offers but didn’t actually think you would take it. They finished their talk but all he could think about was those transfer papers and why he didn’t hear about it from you. Wade dismissed him and he left. As he was leaving, he ran into Talia. 

“You got any plans for tonight?” She asked

“Yea, I have another date.” Tim said not knowing you had heard him and not knowing how bad your heart was breaking. He did have a date but now he wanted to go to your place and find out why you were transferring. The shift ended and everyone got changed and was heading out the precinct he caught you walking with Nolan and laughing with him and his heart pinged with jealousy. Then he noticed that your car wasn’t near his when it normally was. Something was wrong and he was going to find out. 

He did end up going on the date but that transfer request was just burning in his mind. He apologized to Teresa and she asked if she would be seeing him again and he said no and then he was off heading to your apartment. He drove like mad until he reached your place and parked in a parking spot, once he killed the engine he was storming up to the apartment and knocking.

——————————————————————

Knocking is what woke you up and you groaned but got up and grabbed a silk robe and slipped it over your silk nightgown. “Hold on, I’m coming.” You said but the knocking persisted. “Hold on, geez.” You said unlocking the door and opening “What-” You began but saw it was Tim “Tim? It’s late. What are you doing here?” You asked.

“You’re transferring?” He asked in a stern slightly higher pitched voice.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, still half asleep.

“Your transfer request to the FBI. I saw it on Sergeant Wade’s desk. Why?” He asked

“You.” You said

“Me?” He asked

“Yes you. Damn it can’t you see? I’m in love with you! I have been ever since we got out of the academy together. Then you go off and date and it kills me. I know it’s selfish but I couldn’t stand for you to be happy with anyone else but me.” You said and he didn’t say anything instead he crashed his lips into yours and kissed you fiercely. He backed you into the apartment and shut the door and then turned you until your back hit the door. You two broke apart when air was needed. 

“I’ve wanted to do that ever since I met you.” He said and then crashed lips into yours and then he was slipping your silk robe off your shoulders revealing your very revealing nightgown he broke the kiss and looked down “Damn you are sexy.” He said and was tapping your thighs and you jumped up and wrapped your legs around him and then he was taking you both to your bedroom. He gently laid you down and quickly got rid of his shirt. He grabbed the hem of your nightgown and looked at you and you nodded and he was slowly peeling it off of you until it was off revealing you weren’t wearing a bra and that made him moan. Your nipples got hard as rocks when air hit them, he admired them and then he was taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it, making you mona. His right hand came up to play with your other breast and his left hand was caressing your side. Once he was satisfied with the treatment of your left breast and nipple, he popped off of it and gave your other breast the same attention. Again, once he was satisfied, he popped off of it and then was standing up and getting rid of his jeans and boxers and his hard length came up and slapped him in the stomach.

“I need you.” You said and he nodded and was crawling back up to you and slowly taking your underwear off and adding it to the pile of clothing already growing. He moved in between your thighs and licked a broad strip up your folds and you jumped but moaned. 

“So wet for me and I hardly did anything.” He said, smirking.

“Need you now.” You moaned and looked as he did it again and bit your clit.

“You got it, Baby.” He said and moved up to where he was now face to face with you and kissed you. You could taste yourself on him and you could feel him at the entrance. He grabbed his cock and looked you in the eyes “You ready? Tell me to stop if you need to.” He asked and you nodded and he pushed himself into you and you both moaned.

“Oh, Tim!” You moaned out not even trying to be quiet, neighbors be damned.

“So tight. It was like you were made for me.” He moaned out and started to thrust in and out of you. He stretched you in all the right places and hit you places that you didn’t know that could be hit. He hit you g-spot just right.

“Faster, Baby. Faster.” You moaned out and he nodded and did as he was told and it just brought another wave of pleasure to you. “So good.” You moaned out and his face went into the crook of his neck and he attacked it with kisses and sucked on it. His arms caged you in and your ankles locked behind him making him go deeper. Your hands went to his shoulder blades and your fingers dug into them and then he hit your g-spot and bit your pulse point. Your nails raked down his back leaving long angry red scratch marks in their wake. He hissed into your neck but he did not let up. “‘M close.” You said and he brought his head up from your neck.

“Me too, Baby. Me too.” He said and that just spurred him on to go faster. One hand went down to your clit and started to rub it, getting you closer to your climax. “Cum with me.” He said and then he pinched your clit and then that rubber band snapped and you came hard. You squeezed him and that made his thrusts irregular and the snapping of his hips into your hips came to a halt as you both moaned and he painted your walls white. 

After you both came down from your high you unlocked your ankles and he fell to the side of you onto his back. You ended up lying on his chest tracing shapes and he cuddled you close to him as he covered you both up. “Don’t leave.” He said and you looked up at him.

“Hmm?” You asked in confusion.

“The transfer, cancel it. You belong here with me. I only went on those dates to get rid of my feelings for you and each time I went on them I wished it was you. I love you and have loved you since we graduated from the academy together. I was too stupid to see what it was doing to you and I’m sorry for that.” He said and you smiled.

“I’ll cancel the request to transfer.” You said 

“I want you to be my girl and my only girl. What I’m asking is will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you smiled and looked up at him.

“I thought you would never ask. Of course I’ll be your girlfriend.” You said and he smiled “I love you.” You added.

“I love you too.” He said and you both kissed each other and then you resumed your position and you both fell asleep with a smile on your face. 

Both of you were happy and finally got what you wanted and that was each other. 

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