#all those streams from PH was actually just me

[lifemod17]

Hozier for UMG Philippines

Hozier saying "mahal namin kayo" (we love you) kind of wouldn't fare well

Source: x.com

[radioactiveradley]

join me in pell (piss hell)

Let's talk kidneys!

Your kidneys are situated:

Inferior to the liver and the suprarenal glands

Superior to the ureters

Anterior to the posterior wall of abdomen and diaphragm

Posterior to the peritoneum (sack with yer guts in it)

Their job is to:

Regulate blood ions (like sodium) and control blood pH

Maintain blood volume (by extracting or conserving water)

Secrete hormones

Excrete toxic waste (urea, ammonia, creatinine…)

Guess what shape they are. Go on, guess.

YEAH THAT’s RIGHt – IT’S BEAN TIME, BITCHEs

[CW: beneath the cut you will find CT images of kidney trauma]

(and here is some very basic anatomy, sketched on… that same bean)

The renal cortex + renal pyramids together form the PARENCHYMA, aka the functional bit of the kidneys (aka where your peepee is made)

But HOW is that peepee made, I hear you cry?

Lemme introduce you to my good friend

The Nephron

The afferent arteriole carries blood to the Glomerulus (which isn’t actually some weird DnD spell – just a knot of arteries surrounded by the Glomerular Capsule!) This arteriole then slims down considerably to form the efferent arteriole. This pressure increase forces loads of waste products and water out of the bloodstream into the glomerular capsule – but the holes in the arteriole wall are too small to release blood cells, plasma proteins, and other large molecules. This part of the nephron is called the ‘corpuscle’ (again, not a DnD spell). It’s where your blood plasma gets filtered!

The arteriole then follows the nephron around its windy path, wrapping around it at several points – notably the proximal/distal convoluted tubules, and the Vasa Recta that runs parallel to the Loop of Henle. To horrifically simplify a complex process, this provides lots of opportunities for secretion (Bad Stuff to be squeezed out of the blood – those dangerous ions and waste products we talked about earlier!) and selective reabsorption (Good Stuff (water) gets squeezed back in). It’s a careful balancing act, orchestrated in part by hormones! The end result (theoretically) is that all the stuff you DON’T want is shlorped into the nephron as urine, and all the water you need is shlorped back into the blood.

Once your kidneys have produced your peepee, it takes a fun rollercoaster ride through a series of ducts and tubes! Collecting duct -> papillary duct -> minor calyx -> major calyx -> renal pelvis -> ureter -> urinary bladder -> urethra -> you know the rest.

Your kidneys produce 180 litres of fluid a day (aka, a hell of a lot) but most of this is reabsorbed in these little nephrons, with water & useful solutes going back into the bloodstream! As a result, you only pee about 1-2 litres a day (though I swear I feel closer to the 180 litres some days)

Because kidneys are SOOOO important (your body does NOT like to be full of urea/ammonia/sodium, or acid!) they’re really, really vascular (lots of blood supply). They receive up to 25% of your resting cardiac output! So, when you’re just chilling, literally 25% of your blood is being gobbled by those hungry, hungry kidneys!

This means the kidney is VULNERABLE TO TRAUMA.

Although kidney trauma can be picked up on Ultrasound, we will take anyone who has suffered abdominal trauma through to CT, as you get better pictures there! We usually use a multiphase protocol – a longer scan, basically – to show us the extent of the injury, with a non-contrast phase (shows calculi clearly), an arterial phase (evaluates any injury to the renal arteries), a nephographic phase (shows renal lesions clearly), and a delayed phase (shows bleeding and injuries to the urinary collection system). Basically, contrast quickly moves to your kidneys from your blood stream, and filters through the collection system – so if we give a bolus of contrast and watch it flood through the renal arteries, then wait a little while, we can see how the kidneys are processing it or if it’s spilling into the surrounding space.

Kidney trauma is graded from 1 (no laceration but a haematoma (bruise) within the kidney capsule) to 5 (kidney torn away from renal vascular system and dying as a result, actively bleeding, structure of kidney shattered). Here’s a grade 5 (Left (looks like the right side of the image)) in comparison to the normal healthy kidney (Right (looks like the left side of the image)). Note the massive visible laceration + huge haematoma!

Loooooads of other stuff can go wrong with your kidneys too – but that’s a whole other post! Which I will make, one day soon, because it's super fascinating!

(Have you ever heard of a stag horn calculus? It will put you off holding onto your pee FOR LIFE. If you're sitting there kinda needing the loo but not going... GO NOW. PLEASE.)l

[ganymedesclock]

I think that art is one of those things that people often see as a completed, already extant thing in their world and it's hard to break it down into pieces or understand it, so it's easy to be intimidated by impressive art and even if you're yourself an artist, it's super easy to be intimidated by people. I hear a lot of artistic types repeat the common refrain of, "you're special, you're above me and I'm scared of you because you're so cool / your art is so good."

This is especially significant/challenging when it comes to getting ideas. The actual physical process of making something, you can talk about pen strokes or word choice or material selection, the angle of your hand on the clay or whatever is apt for your medium of choice. But ideas, man, where did that come form?

Personally, the model I take to ideas is a little less than divinity, though it is something impressive.

Having ideas is a compost heap. The having-ideas stage is not about filtering anything. You can fret about if it's good or not later. Getting Ideas is the point where you just take literally anything that catches your attention and toss it onto the heap. Feed it to your mental worms.

And the great thing is, you can absolutely do it while you're slacking off. I like to watch cleaning and repair videos. In particular, I just watched someone solder a new tooth on a gear. And I think, "man, that's cool isn't it? the way the solder goes on, it's blobby and accretes in a very organic, strange pattern. Before he sands it down, it looks like magma, or a scab."

And that thought goes into the dirt with other thoughts I've already put there- that I think machinery is neat so I try to learn a lot of facts and quirks and things about that, that I think biology and anatomy and especially abnormal anatomy (disease, mutations, etc.) are really, REALLY neat, and because those are high priority things to my brain a spark jumps and they stick together into a gelatinous little proto-idea and the idea is something about the distinction between bodies and machines, how the mechanical is very ordered, pristine, precise, engineered- and the organic is by nature squiggly and fleshy and peculiar.

And hey, now, what does it mean if many inorganic natural forces also behave this way- the fluid physics of sea and sky, the bubble and gurgle of pyroclast as it flows into shape? Meanwhile, some other inorganic natural things, like crystal structure, feel very 'mechanical'.

This is nothing that was particularly difficult to do. It's really just a stream of consciousness. I took a bunch of things I liked and started sticking them together into experimental fragments. I shared that one, because I could pluck it from the dirt and go, huh, that's interesting, I think tumblr will like that one, but the great news is there's no bad ideas. There's ideas you want to use right away in their current state, and there's ideas that you want to tamp back down into the dirt so they'll feed all the other ideas down there to make something stronger, and there's ideas that helpfully tell you that you might have fed it something bad a while ago or that the pH of your soil is off, and you should examine this idea to find where the problem is and what good brain food would counteract it.

It's compost!

[prismaticpichu]

Ooh ooh for your writing prompts I would love to see how you do 6!! 🤩

Awww Zimmm you are EVIL xD xD That is, that is a prompt alright *squeezes squishable close.* Alas… I will play by the rules. Order coming right up~

(I actually had to pull out My Immortal to set my mood right. Bloody heck that song is an onion bomb to me.)

Warning that, just like your flu shot, this may pinch a little. This is not a good time.

He waited.

A long and looming figure lurched against the wall, inhumanly thin, twisted in proportion, drenching him in tar as it mirrored the pose he was in. It crossed its own arms and waited alongside him.

They waited.

They waited for the shock to turn to fury, to finally make the reins tethering Her down snap. She was always in there, unheard, dormant, stifled, like an animal snarled in the threads of his composition. They had been wire-thin once, portions of his defense Hollander’s dolls had gouged out. She had grazed the surface—so close to clawing out. He saw it, all those times when his teeth gritted, fingers clenching like a vice, the tube pumping Mako into his blood rattling against her weight.

And then it stopped.

All because of the boy… the godforsaken boy who always kept Her tied. Leeching onto his creation, repelling Her and siphoning the poison from his veins. Infecting him with his own disease.

He waited, watching every flicker in his son’s eyes, tracing the stillness of those monstrous pupils and the Mako islanding them, twin blades of green cutting through the dark. They quivered, and then they settled again.

She was behind them. Nourished by the venom seething inside him, and finally without anyone to keep Her captive.

He waited.

His breath rattled.

He waited.

He stopped.

He wai—

And a sharp, blood-curdling, horrible sound tore from Sephiroth’s lips, his legs failing below him as he was sent crumpling to the floor. The PHS slid from his hand, contacts still open. Plastic shattered, the echo silent, fissures running through the professor’s name.

And he cried, breaking all at once. In front of his father. For his treasure.

“No… no…” Sephiroth gathered the bundle of crimson clothes into his arms, the collar sopping under his trembling fingers. “Z… Za…” He enveloped him, swaddled him, crushed him, burying his head into his best friend’s neck, already gashed and torn agape, sanguine streams riding down blanched skin.

Wake me up… Gaia. Wake me up. WAKE ME UP!

He never heard himself scream before, and all at once it was so subdued. Swallowed in the ringing numbness surrounding him. There was somebody standing there, a shape in the corner. He didn’t see it. Couldn’t even begin to reach for recognition.

The only thing that mattered, the only thing that ever mattered, he held cradled to his chest.

Pale, damp eyes slid open then. Sheeted under glass, the oceans icy. Light could barely crack through… but he could feel. There was warmth cocooning him… a familiar sanctuary… a song pressed against his ear.

“S… Sph…” His gaze drifted upwards, limp. Just conscious enough to see green stars dancing against the haze.

Sephiroth choked on his breath, selfishly gulping in what Zack had none left of. “Yes…” he mumbled into the threads. “I’m right here…” He knew it was a lie, but it was all he could bring himself to say. He pressed him closer. “I’m here…”

I’ll always keep you safe… I promise.

I will protect you. You’re going to be okay.

Thanks, Seph…

You’re always there for me…

He didn’t know what to do but to try and close the flaps of skin, viscous and cold and… fruitless. Sephiroth shook his head, crushing him as if to he some desperate, futile levee for his life. “I’m sorry…” His entire body trembled, the quaking tower of veins and muscles and all the way down to his cells. “I’m so sorry…”

If he had never roped Zack into his life… If he kept him…

Zack’s fingers twitched, he commanded them to with every fading ember of his strength, grasping a feeble bundle of leather. He felt the blood slipping from his hold, draining away. Leaking out. He knew he was dying… It was a strange, floating feeling. Like… like all this times he tried to swim in the deep end and couldn’t.

He just needed to reach a wall… then he could… pull himself out. Seph was sad. He was blaming himself. He couldn’t let him do that. He needed to get there. He needed to tell him it wasn’t his fault. That it had all happened so fast. The alert of loose monsters in the lab. Rushing down. A materia. Freezing. Silver blurs. Feeling freezing…

“Don’t…” Sephiroth waded through his throat. So many flashes in his mind, caught in the rapids. The tsunami of smiles and laughter and starlight… feathers drifting and glimpses of childhood and gentle, warm gauze wrapped around his heart. “Please, Zack… I need you.” Another choke. “I… I don’t want… Don’t leave me…”

Zack’s grip loosened, disobeying his stark command to tighten it. “I don’t w… nt to, bud…” He inched deeper into the soft, inky blackness, wriggling away from the numbness trying to claim him. Sweep him away like waves. Yet the foam was reaching his feet, brushing against him…

No. No… he couldn’t. Not yet. There was so much he had to say… Static hazed his mind, memories engulfed… thoughts falling… words slipping. He tried to force his lips to crack, fighting through the chattering, the numbness. He fought with all his might. All the strength he had been taught and bestowed, using the throbbing rhythm against his ear like a compass. Keeping him afloat. Just a moment longer.

He dissolved into Seph’s coat. “You’ll always be my very best friend…”

The wave crashed.

“Zack… Zack… enough. Zack…” Sephiroth’s words suffocated him. “No… No…”

And Hojo watched it all unfold, standing in the corner of the room. He couldn’t bring himself to move. Not with the growing realization that there was nothing to wait for, and that there would never be again. That he was too late.

She was gone; the boy had already killed Her.

The knife was dropped with a hollow, useless clatter, and Hojo finally walked away, leaving the broken image of his failure to drown in crimson light.

[lonepower]

oh I completely forgot to actually post my one single liveblog post i just saved it as a draft lmao. anyway if anyone wants my realtime Romulus Thoughts (tl;dr it's good) here ya go~

oh hey it starts on my birthday!! already a good sign <3

the audio quality on this cam is only a little bad but i cannot understand anyone for Shit. the 2 identical british dudes especially are basically speaking Peanuts Parentsese. i've been spoiled rotten by the shift to streaming and need my subtitles ))):

i really like this actress, she reminds me of someone - daisy ridley or summer glau maybe? she's so cute uvu

oh i want her and Pretty Hair to kiss so bad. she looks like she's shaping up to be the final girl though so i should probably not get too attached to anyone else, rip

ohhhhhhhhhh here we go

man I REALLY wanna know what their homeworld is like. I mean like the actual original world they came from instead of whatever time travel shit or w/e that prometheus was on, idk i blocked it from my memory. anyway there's so much about their design & behavior that seems like they're meant to be amphibious/semiaquatic to me? they're about the right size to fill the same niche as sharks or crocodiles, too...... did hr giger actually think about this stuff or was he just like "hey you know what would be fucked up"

rip bald girl we hardly knew ye. you were facehugged on all those posters anyway so i'm glad you weren't interesting

awwwww, no, man, don't, don't do that, that's not cool. why do we gotta do this. cmon. fuckin nightmarish

 

I'M A SHAM. A FRAUD. I HAD TO DOUBLE CHECK THE ROOT ON WIKTIONARY AND THE PLAGIARISM MACHINE WAS RIGHT. MY CREDIBILITY IS RUINED

girl go see a gynecologist or something i don't think that's a normal pussy pH

hnnNNnggH i'm ngl though that was. hot. also a very satisfying death for my least favorite character. i hope it hurt as much as it looked like it did 🤭

LAUREL IS CANON????? man she was a fun oc i should play around w her some more. love me some xeno gene therapy gone wrong. better hope the canon version doesn't fuck you up the same way<3

LMAOOOO NOT 2 MINUTES LATER!!!! EXACTLY THE SAME WAY! i'm so delighted my cringe nae nae river-tam-expy science-experiment mary sue is explicitly canon compliant now. this is great. oh my god.

Oh This Will Go Well

•HAROLD.............................

oh this is a Cool setpiece that seems very ill-advised

...yep. nicely foreshadowed, too

• HEL FUCKING LO??????? 👁️👄👁️

XENOMORPH YURI REAL. GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME

okay wait on slowmo rewind #4 that's actually the one from before? i'm no less jealous but slightly more confused. xenomorph yuri is still real thank you god 🙏🙌

ohhhhhhh that's why. yeah that makes more sense lol.

oh to be tenderly rescued by a terrifying alien who's only saving my life so they can use my body for their own nefarious ends. who said that

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEY WERE IN LOVE YOU DICK!!!!!!

also the bishop echo at the beginning was cute but this one didn't land. you can do better. :\

while we're still on the subject tho: i think we do need an Enemy Mine scenario with a xeno now. the yautja got one with scarlex. it's time. i deserve it

Oh here we go. xenomorph yuri real round 2(????)

HEY WAIT NO WHAT THE F U C K

honestly this is just an accurate representation of what normal human pregnancy sounds like to me. having a little creature burst out of your ribcage killing you instantly is Vastly preferable tbh

i think this thing is less unsettling than the newborn but only barely. like 0.4% less unsettling. what the fuck

average white man behavior

i like my idea better tbh. Pretty Hair deserves to be monsterified and Final Girl deserves a terrifying mutated alien gf. we could have had it aaaaaaaaalllllll

I DO appreciate the obvious resurrection parallel though. my black sheep most beloved getting the legitimacy & recognition it deserves 😔✊

in conclusion WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK. resurrection and avp will probably always be tied for my favorites and tbh I would rank 2 a little higher as well, but this was solidly middle of the pack which is a gargantuan fucking improvement. the main thing is that it was Actually Recognizably An Aliens Movie which, after the prometheus/covenant nightmare, is honestly the highest praise i can give. thank GOD

[potatoes83]

Random thought... As time goes on, we continue to learn things. And our minds change, and our horizons are expanded. Like, I had (and generally this is still the case) no time for YouTube "influencers". Because who the hell are they? Call me when you're producing through a Hollywood studi...

And then it hit me, that's like sitting here with my head in the sand because "it wasn't in the newspaper"... Like, not even looking at what an amazing thing today's Internet is, I haven't subscribed to, or lived in a house with a newspaper subscription for... well shoot, it has to be fifteen years now if it's a day. I can get fiber optics and streaming that is indistinguishable from my former coaxial cable setup. In the middle of freaking nowhere in the UP where not even the radio stations come in, no problem; I can get freaking showtunes on Sirius XM if I'm so inclined... So getting back to my point, we're all privy to the same news; it's parroted to death by the legacy media which itself is desperately trying to stay relevant (and constantly lying to those who trust you is rather pulling a bud light, yeah?)

But just because it's on social media, that does not make it a reliable source. Just because someone's on TikTok, that doesn't make them an expert in... well, anything. Having a platform is in no way difficult anymore, and as for the rest... Well here's an example. I know a lot about a lot, patting myself on the back, I love knowledge and above all truth. Oh, love me some good fantasy, but Mr. Rogers taught me the difference between make-believe and the real world some three decades plus ago. But I digress. I can speak in a firm, level, avuncular voice; that's no issue. I'm a rather good public speaker, better than I give myself credit for, because I always feel much more nervous than I come off. I can gather some talking points, I can wear good clothes, I can intersperse emotion and passion to really sell how much I'm invested in the subject. I can sit there and put out a video wherein I'm a qualified master electrician... I'm a doctor. I'm a nuclear freaking physicist. It is AMAZING what you can do with Wikipedia and some good b-roll footage. And I truly believe I could sell it. Dr. James Whitteaker, Ph. D., at your service. Or how about Dave Latimer, the master plumber. Kenny Vandersteldt, who runs a potato farm and is going to tell you about crop rotations.

My point is, acceptance of a new form of media does NOT have to be universal, because even more so now today, having a platform and being "out there", well, it's just not difficult at all. Being good at it, being able to monetize it and stay relevant, that's the tricky part, that's actually, from what I gather, a lot of hard work. Being on TikTok is not synonymous with having a primetime show on a cable network, and does not automatically make you a trusted source of information. So continue to be diligent. Do your research. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is, and if money's involved, any sincerity's taking a back seat to an agenda. That's called acting. 🥔

[forrests-waterfall]

Little!Tommy and CG!SBI // RPF

A/N : Okay so I apologize if this writing is just everywhere. I just really wanted to get this done because it was a self comfort fic aa. I’m hoping that if I do enough small writings, it’ll help me improve! (Because I took a long long break from writing before this blog pff) Hope you enjoy none the less. (Is that how you use that sentence? I dunno). Also the place I talk about Tommy wanting to see is not an actual build on the Origins SMP.

Also, not edited!! There may be misspells!! And this does not represent the entire “Tubbo replaced Tommy with Ranboo” thing at all. I don’t like those kinds of things, so please don’t relate it to that. And this is based off their Internet personalities if that makes sense??

TW/CW : Cursing, the nicknames kiddo and bubs

It was a good stream with the bench trio so far, the three of them just hanging out and poking fun at one another from time to time. Basically just the normal for the three.

It had been just them talking for about an hour or so, but they ended up deciding they were going to hop on the Origins SMP. Tubbo and Ranboo needed to fix stuff around the server and Tommy would follow them around, probably making fun of little stuff that didn’t make sense.

It was fun for all of them, especially Tommy since he hadn’t been on the Origins SMP much. It was cool to see all the stuff everyone built.

“Burn bitch!” Tommy’s avatar hit Tubbo’s with a diamond sword, making the other’s health go down. “I didn’t even do anything that time!” Ranboo let out a laugh at the other two—he then attacked Tommy’s character with his own weapon. “Sorry, Tommy! I have to do it for the content”

Tommy let out a groan, “excuses! It just cause you two are fucking married so you have to be like ‘oh I’m Ranboo, and I love a man platonically who likes eating DIRT with bees. And I must protect him’” The teen raised his voice higher so it sounded like he was mocking the other.

“Bees don’t eat dirt”

They continued messing around on the server, Tommy proceeded to do the same thing he was doing.

Though, he noticed a building on the SMP that caught his eye. He hadn’t seen it before so he had to go to it.

“Hey, let’s-“

“Ranboo we have to go over there to get the right materials”

The blond raised an eyebrow, and then went to the other’s characters.

Deciding what he wanted to explore wasn’t that important anymore, he followed them.

The other two just needed smelted stone for—whatever reason. Tommy wasn’t listening, he was focused on something else.

While on the way back to where they were, they passed by the place again. Since it was on the way, it wouldn’t be too much of an interruption to what the other two were doing. And he didn’t want to go alone, plus he needed someone to tell him what the hell it was.

“Mr.Ranboob, I think we shoul-“ “that’s cobblestone Tubbo!” The brunet looked at what the other was holding, which was definitely not smooth stone. Tubbo let out an exaggerated gasp, “what??”

Letting out a soft sigh, he knew they’d be taking another trip. So he went along with it again.

It wasn’t that big of a deal, it’s just a building in a game. He could always see what it was another time.

—————

This went on for another two hours.

Tommy continued to be interrupted due to the other two needing to do something. And he didn’t want to get in the middle of what they wanted to do.

The teen always shook it off as what he wanted to do was not that important, and it wouldn’t be entertaining for the viewers for Tommyinnit to look at a new build he hadn’t seen.

Though he’d be lying if he said it didn’t upset him.

He just wanted to see the colorful arrangement of blocks! Was that so much to ask? Plus it had some flowers around it, it was pretty!

“Alright let’s go over here” Tommy whined at another instruction, at this point he felt like an extra. Not because it was them two doing stuff together, but because he wasn’t helping. He wasn’t adding on to anything, except some commentary.

But he wanted to do more than that! But after he saw the thing he wanted to see, but that wasn’t happening. So he couldn’t help but get distracted by what his mind seemed to be fixated on. (Aka, the structure.)

Luckily for Tommy, he wasn’t streaming. So nobody could see that he had his knees up to his chest, and that his eyes were a bit glassier than normal.

And they definitely couldn’t see him chewing on his fingers with his non vacant hand.

He was tired, mentally and physically. He wanted to be listened to, not ignored whether it was intentional or not. (Of course he knows it’s not intentional, those are his best friends! But he’s still upset about it.)

The now mentally younger let out a small whine, this wasn’t fair! They were barley paying any attention to him at all. “Tommy?” The little perked his head up and looked towards Ranboo’s character. He hadn’t noticed he was spaced out for so long. “Yeah?” “You were quiet so I was just checking up on you”

Tommy let out a long exhale before speaking, “I was doing big man shit! Somethin’ you wouldn’t understand, Ran-boo”

The other two let out a fit of laughter while Tommy took his other hand away from the mouse.

Acting big wasn’t fun and just hurt him in a way he couldn’t describe. He hated it. He wanted Wilby, and Techie, and Ph-

“I gotta get off. Mum is asking me to do the dishes”

He waited for a response, hopefully they didn’t question why is was so random. “alright! Bye Tommy!” “Bye Tommy!! Say bye to Tommy, chat!”

The blond let out a few giggles before clicking his mouse and ending the call. He let out a sigh of relief and quickly opened the group chat with the other sleepy bois.

He pressed the call button, not thinking if his friends were busy or not. He just wanted his caregivers right now, that’s all that mattered to him.

He messed with his fingers nervously while listening to the call ring. Surely someone could answer, right?

His doubts were cut off rather quickly by a familiar voice speaking up, “Hey Toms! Is everything alright? It’s not usual for you to call out of nowhere”

The little let out a small whimper again, too shy to explain what was going on. Though, Wilbur caught on quickly. He immediately shifted into caregiver mode, “Bubs, what’s wrong? Did something happen during the stream, bud?” Tommy messed with his fingers some more before chewing on them once again.

“Ah ah, go get your pacifier, Toms. Then you can tell me about what happened”

The mentally (and physically) younger got up from his chair and walked over to a nearby dresser. He grabbed ahold of his red and black pacifier and went back to his desk. “Good job! Now can you tell me what’s up, bubs?” Tommy messed around with his pacifier, since he had something other than his hands to distract him.

“Tub an ‘Boo ignorin’ me” he raised the pacifier up to his mouth, “don’ think they meanin’ to though”

Wilbur nodded at the response, seeming to think for a moment. “Well, why don’t I tell Ranboo and Tubbo how it made you feel, yeah? I’ll let them know after the stream. I’m sure they didn’t mean it”

Tommy looked up at the camera, “no! Theys gon’ think I’m c’ybaby. An’ then theys gon’ be sad cause they made me sad” he curled into a ball on his chair and put his pacifier in his mouth. Wilbur let out a small “ah” to show he understood.

“They won’t call you a crybaby, Toms.” The older took a second to think, “They’ll be happy that you told them though. So then they’ll know what they were doing to make a little one like you, upset”

The little seemed to think for a moment and then nodded his head as an, “okay”.

Discord made a noise from Tommy’s computer, notifying the two that someone else had joined. The blond smiled as Technoblade’s icon lit up, almost immediately he made grabby hands at the camera.

“Techie!!”

The older let out a soft laugh, you could tell he was smiling from behind the screen. “Hey, bubs. Do we have a little kiddo today?” Tommy giggled and nodded his head. Technoblade turned on his camera, he knew when Tommy was regressed it tended to make him comfier if he could see everyone.

“I’m sure Phil will be here in just a second, I was just on the call with him” he stopped to take a breathe, “and I’m sure he’ll be very excited to see little Tom Toms”

The little let out another small fit of giggles before standing up from his chair and grabbing ahold of a raccoon stuffie. He brought it back to his desk and held it up to the camera. “Look!! His name Racco!!” Tommy excitedly announced, basically bouncing in his chair. “He’s adorable, bubs! Is that the one Phil got you?” The mentally younger nodded as he played with the Raccoon’s tail.

Tommy looked up at his screen as he heard someone join, it was Phil!!

“Phil look!! ‘S name is Racco!!”

“Oh! You already named him, huh?” Phil had ordered him a new plushie since he had been doing good. It was a small gift from the older. “Mhm!!”

“Heyyy! I thought we agreed I’d give him his next stuffed animal” Wilbur fake pouted as he crossed his arms, “you took too long” Phil replied, letting out a chuckle.

Wilbur was going to get him a new stuffie too?? Wait huh? Tommy’s eyes lit up, “new stuffie from Wilby??” Wilbur replied with a nod, “yep! We can talk about that tomorrow though, there’s someone who wants to talk to you” the younger tilted his head to the side confused. “Well, two people”

Wilbur added Ranboo and Tubbo to the call after the stream had ended (after asking them of course). Tubbo spoke up first, “I’m sorry Toms, I didn’t know we made you upset and we didn’t mean to.” Ranboo hummed in agreement, “yeah. We apologize, we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings”

The blond thought about what they said for a moment before having a fake little conversation with his stuffie. “Shoul we fo’give them? They seems sorry” he whispered to his stuffie as he made the plush pat him on the arm, basically saying yes.

The little looked back at the camera and made a thumbs up. “Is okay! I fo’give you.” He seemed to think for a moment, “I will super fo’give you if you buys me a new sweater!!” everyone in the call laughed, “will do, kiddo”

Tommy then rambled on and on about a new cartoon him and Techno watched together the other night. They all listened and asked questions about it, and Tommy eventually forgot about what happened earlier. Plus, it didn’t matter anymore. They said sorry and it was all better!!

Soon enough, Tommy let out a small yawn as his eyes threatened to close.

“Aw, is bubs tired from his long day today?” Wilbur’s voice softened as the little looked away, “no! Not tired!!”

“You sure, Toms? You can always talk to us tomorrow if you want.” Techno explained while adjusting his headphones.

“Nope! Don’ wanna”

“But Toms, you can play allllll day tomorrow if you do! Wouldn’t you want to spend more time with Racco?”

The little looked at his plush before looking back at the camera. He let out a sigh and nodded.

“Otay”

“Alright, go ahead and get changed into some comfier clothes.”

“Yeah! Me and Ranboo have to go but it was really nice talking to you, kiddo! Goodnight” Tubbo smiled at the camera before waving. Tommy waved back as the two left the call.

He then turned off his camera and changed into a blue onesie with a rocket ship pattern on it.

He turned his camera back on, “good job, bubs! Can you try and switch over to your phone for me?

Tommy grabbed ahold of his phone and pulled up the discord group chat, with a click of a button he joined the call on his phone.

He went over to his bed with the Raccoon plush and pulled the covers over himself.

Everyone had turned their camera’s off by now.

“Goodnight, little Tom Tom. Sweet Dreams. We’ll be here when you wake up”

“Ni Ni”

Tommy then closed his eyes and drifted into sleep. Today was a good day for little Tommy.

[iwavibes]

𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ;; thirty five

----haikyuu social media au

iwaizumi y/n, nekoma's second year manager, has always been in love with kozume kenma. in an attempt to get her to move on, her two best friends introduce her to the prettiest boys they know.

besides, the only way to move on is to actually move on, right?

prev • masterlist • next

word count: 1k+

You took a deep breath as you came face to face with the gate, the only thing separating you from the boy on the other side. You took a quick glance at the opened messages on your phone. Seen. It hurt you to know that your best friend was purposefully ignoring you. You were fine two days ago. You wondered what changed or what you might've done to make him act this way.

Your eyes sparked up at the sound of a message notification, your eyes zeroing in on the message Shirabu sent.

'it will ♥️'

And you felt the weight on your shoulders lighten at that. Even though he didn't know what it was about, his words comforted you like no other. Especially at this exact moment.

Mustering up every bit of courage you have in you, you pushed the gate open. The moment you lock eyes with the tired but nervous ones he held, you could feel your earlier bravery dwindle away almost instantly.

"Kenma…" you breathed out. Your voice sounded like you've run a marathon when in fact, it was your nerves eating you away.

"Y/n…" he replied, almost as nervous as you were.

"L-look…" you started. "About what happened last week…" you couldn't seem to look him in the eyes, instead fixating your gaze on the ground. You sneaked a glance his way, only to see a pair of expectant eyes staring back.

You didn't know what he wanted you to say nor what he was thinking. But you've rehearsed this a hundred times, a thousand if you counted the ones you did in your head, and so the words tumbled out of your lips before you could stop it. You looked away.

"It was a mistake." You say with every bit of faux conviction you could conjure up. "It was all just a rush of emotions, you know? I didn't know what came over me when I did it. A spur in the moment. Like one of those time limited missions in story games and you have to pick a choice fast? I'm sorry. That was a very dick move and the fact that I'm telling you it was a mistake is even worse. I just… don't know what I was thinking." You were rambling now, you know you were but you can't seem to stop. "We've been friends for years now and you're one of the rare people that stuck to my side even after that incident. I cherish that. The fact that you didn't care and that you were happy to be friends with me. It sucks that I have to move away so abruptly. I really want to leave everything on a good note and not awkward… but I can't help but think that I just ruined everything."

"I-is that what you want?" His voice was soft. Like a newly fluffed pillow and gentle like a sweet lullaby.. But there was also a twinge of hesitancy imbued in the way he spoke. You can sense it.

You closed your eyes before nodding your head. "Yes."

You hear him sigh. What was it? Relief? Defeat? You didn't know. A flurry of emotions raged through your body and you stiffen at the silence.

If you could only look his way. Look at the expression he was wearing. See the disappointed eyes that bore on your turned skull. Maybe you would've thought twice about what you've said. But it was all out there now and you felt too ashamed to even steal a glance as you felt his arms wrapped around you.

You felt your cheeks burn at the contact, not really expecting him to hold you this close nor initiate something so intimate.

He rested his chin on your shoulder, holding you firmly by your waist as you hesitantly wrapped your arms around him.

"You didn't ruin anything y/n." He whispered. "I don't think you could, even if you tried. You're my friend. And I would pick you over anything."

You didn't understand what he meant by that last statement, too relieved to even process anything right now as you pulled him closer.

"I'll miss you, Kenma. I'll miss you so much." You whispered, voice shaky as tears began to form in your eyes.

At this, you feel his hand on your head, stroking the strands of your hair in comfort. "I'll miss you too, y/n. More than you'll ever know."

If you could just pull away to look at him, maybe you would've seen the few tears that streamed down his cheeks. You would've seen the desperation, and the longing those glossy eyes of his held.

He wiped them off once he was ready to pull away. A small smile on his lips as you tried to give him one back.

He patted your head one last time. You watched as he took a step back before reaching down to one of his pockets. He held a small trinket towards you, a small blank cat with a wide smirk.

"To remember us by." He said, placing it on your awaiting hands.

You looked up at him in appreciation. "Thank you."

"I'll see you soon, y/n." He knew how much hated goodbyes. He's observed it with the way you always tell him and the others that you'll see them soon. Because soon holds a promise and you didn't want to say goodbye just yet.

"See you soon, Kenma." You say with finality.

And that was it. You probably needed to fix your stuff again and Kenma didn't want to hold you out for too long. So with one final wave, he begins walking away.

You watched him for a moment, staring at his retreating form as you hoped to see him turn around. To give you one final glance, a smile, anything. The moment felt too short that you almost felt like it was all a dream.

You sighed, looking down on the small keychain on your palms. You turned it around to see a small note of sorts written on the back.

'Connect. No matter what. We'll see each other soon.'

Meanwhile, as Kenma walked blocks away from your house, he couldn't help but sigh once more in defeat. The hot air of the day pinching at his cheeks as he looked up to keep the small tears threatening to spill at bay.

"Ahh I lost."

NOTE: when i said this was gonna be long i meant it. that's the end of act one!! thank you all so much for the support you have given this smau so far. pretty setters will be back on DECEMBER 1 6AM ph standard time and will be updated every tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday!!

TAGLIST: @jesquisser @peteunderoos @rye-li @sophie-duck @elianetsantana @angrylittleriri @kpop-kk @winunk @mint-mai @applekenm @hoe4hq @atria-avior @kimkai-is-my-man @dabisdominion @yumeneji @courtneypaigemartin @misssugarless @sempiternal-amour @cleopatera @stickystrawberrysyrup @heavenini @that-chick212 @the-amaranthine @vanillakylee @atetiffdoesart @starryleafy @franko-pop @miyaosamusgf @peachiikichu @ughxghoul @bombardia @micheleinumaki @angelsbarebody @marissaraeblr @quiche-inoya @haengbokpixie @normalisthenewnorm @yeet-dude @luhvsnoir ((can't tag)) @what-dose-nani-mean @respectfullysimping123 @pandauniverse

send an ask/message to be added!

[foryouthegays]

Can you ramble about your special intrest please? - a fellow autistic

Anon ily so today were talkin bout technoblade and pets

So everyone knows brick and honestly i havent watched much of his blitz stuff but i just. I love how he gave brick a name??? Like he absolutely did Not have to do that he doesnt do that with other animals in like, skywars or anything but he Did and i just find that. So nice

OK time for things i actually really know about:

Ok first i Have to mention the donkeys techno tried to tame during the TNT stream bc they were so dumb it was hilarious he was like ok we need a horse and he went on a DONKEY like those r so slow and horrible and they kept not accepting him and almost getting blown up love it (also when he finds a horse he blows up the donkey kjhgfdask)

While tryin to get horses he covers up some lava with water to keep them safe even tho he only needed one which was just. Was it to help him? Yes. Do i love he? Yes

Rocket!!! Rocket was his horse from the TNT stream and techno was. So nice to rocket. He was so impressed w rocket he was just constanly jumping like :0 look at how high he can jump!!! (Which, to be fair, that horse was really good) before going to the end (and not dying at all nope /s) he put rocket in a little hole and saved the coords and got rocket back at the end of the stream (he LITERALLY compared the horse to a superhero) (and at one point doesnt do well w a jump and is like ‘that was my fault, the horse is flawless’ and like ye s) (also he goes from calling rocket it to calling him ‘him’ and like thats an emotional connection!!!)

(Also the mountain he puts rocket on reminds me of the one he meets dream on in dsmp and idk i just find that funny)

Also also please editors find some good laughs from that stream it is so good

Actually i was gonna talk about how much he references the blood god in that stream but ive made an entire post about it so ill just say that that stream is severely underrated and i think everyone should watch it (it’s called ‘minecraft but tnt spawns on me every 10 seconds’ and its in his past livestreams playlist <3)

In AE techno had. Just. So many pets gkjfhsda and like yeah he didnt really care about them but also he had!!! Friends!!! Dogs!!! I think some polar bears!!! No thoughts only techno w dogs

Dsmp is gonna be longer because theres just so much about his pets but lets talk about how he got the dogs for a war tactic but then was like. It is time to find more because ily <3 like during his stream about the syndicate a few days ago (first meeting if im rememberin the title) he gets distracted by a wolf and goes down to tame it. Yes, he forgets to push it through the portal but cmon the nether is dangerous anyway it was probably for the best. and foxes!!!! Foxes have like no use compared to wolves and he still keeps them safe and likes them hhhhh. And! His polar bears!!! He got them to be intimidating and then just decided ‘nah. Therapy time’ and i! Support! Him!!

And his halloween mobs!!! They have no use and they take up space and make it louder in his base but theyre rare and also he keeps them safe

Ok carl time bc yeah yeah yeah thats the horse everyone knows, i love how he was hiding him and how he almost got *k i l l e d* to try and save him which like. Wow. The Only other thing i think hed (almost) get killed for is ph i l and like we all know how close they are

SPEAKING of philza minecraft i am CONVINCED that phils gonna be egg controlled and thats why technos gonna start taking the eggpire seriously bc i know a lot of people who r rllly into that arc are annoyed at how he treated it (which i think is fair, hes p chill when it comes to rp and as fun as it is watching him, it can throw off the vibes of other peoples streams)

[sheisraging]

🔀 Elio/Oliver ❤️

Sorry this took so long, anon! I hope you like it! <3

I Like the Way This is Going - Eels

Elio is hesitant to admit that things are going better than he’d anticipated. His classroom is moderately full and he certainly has everyone’s attention. He smiles to himself as he turns to add more notes to the whiteboard.

He’s about twenty minutes into the lecture when a hand shoots up near the back of the room. Elio caps his marker and nods. He doesn’t recall there being someone in that seat earlier, but there are so many faces. The student is older than most, if not all, of the others in the class. Not that there’s anything wrong with adults going back to school — he fully supports that choice. In fact, he looks forward to the kind of life experience those students might bring to classroom discussion.

Still, he can’t help but gawk, slightly, when the man stands up, slides his hands into his pockets, and smiles. Says, “Professor,” in a smooth baritone that wakes a flutter behind Elio’s ribs. “Would you mind recapping your interpretation of the fundamentalist debate, as it relates to musical ontology? I’m afraid I missed the beginning of the lecture.”

Elio notices a few students turning their attention away from him, settling on the man in the back. His smile falters, but he recoups quickly, tilts his head and walks around to stand in front of his desk. “My interpretation?”

The man nods, taking his seat again. “Yes, please.”

“Of course,” Elio nods. Doesn’t miss the way the man winks at the other students and tries not to let himself feel resentful. A bit of ribbing from students is part of the job, after all. He uncaps his marker and returns to the whiteboard, “So, when we talk about musical ontology...”

There’s a strange hesitancy around the room as he brings the lecture to a close. While collecting his notes and packing his bag, Elio notices that someone is coming down the stairs, moving closer to his desk. He glances up and confirms that it’s the tall, blond man who interrupted his lecture — not just once, but with a stream of relentless questions and debate — and had the nerve not to take a single note.

“Professor Perlman,” the man smiles and sits on the edge of the desk. “Not bad for your first day.”

Elio frowns, taken aback by his pretentious demeanor. “I’m glad you enjoyed it–” he smiles tightly, trying to keep his tone even. “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

The man smiles, extending his hand. “Oliver.”

“Oliver,” Elio repeats. His hand is big, warm, and Elio wishes he weren’t so attractive. It’s making him flustered where he should continue being annoyed. “Please try not to be late next time — I don’t mind recapping, but it’s unfair to the rest of the class.”

“Oh, I understand completely,” Oliver nods, brows lifted and blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

“Professor?”

They both turn as another student approaches the desk. Elio realizes that a group of them are lingering by their seats, in the aisle, near the doorway.

“W-will the lecture today be part of the exam?”

Elio can’t help the way his brows wrinkle in confusion. “You won’t have an exam for a few weeks yet, but—”

“I’m sorry, I was actually asking Professor—”

“Well, it was certainly relevant to philosophy,” Oliver rises from his perch on the desk. “I may need to confer with Professor Perlman on whether or not I can incorporate some of his lecture into my exam,” he looks up, giving an expectant smile to the rest of the class. “I hope you all took notes.”

“Pro— I don’t understand,” Elio says, once the students have moved away. “You’re not—”

“A student?” Oliver shakes his head. “Sadly, not anymore,” he gestures around the room. “This was my Tuesday morning PH 402 class.”

Elio’s mouth falls open. “No, I—” he reaches for his bag and digs around for his phone. “I have my schedule and this was—”

“It’s all right, really,” Oliver chuckles. “I’m sure they enjoyed a break from me.”

“Unlikely. Have you seen you?” Elio mutters. He pulls his phone out of his bag with a satisfied smile. “Hah, let me—” he scrolls through his emails until he finds his confirmed schedule. “Look, it’s— what?”

“Nothing,” Oliver grins at him.

Elio shakes his head, looks back at his phone, then turns the screen toward Oliver. “Tuesdays at 9am, room 119.”

Oliver nods. “Yep, Simmons Hall,” he waves at the space around them again. “This is Simon.”

“Oh my god,” Elio cups his hand to his mouth. “I missed my first class.”

“Oh, no no,” Oliver squeezes his shoulder, then lets his hand slide off Elio’s arm. “You got that part wrong, too — actually, I think that’s probably the department’s fault. They should have updated your schedule, but I know they’ve been having some technical issues, so don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Here I was congratulating myself on a great first day,” Elio sighs.

“Well, if it’s any consolation, I was riveted.”

Elio snorts. “Really? Mister Excuse me, Professor…”

“Really.” Oliver smiles, those eyes sparkling again.

“Thank you,” Elio pushes his lips to the side to keep his smile in check.

Oliver nods and Elio doesn’t miss the way his eyes trail over his face, lingering at his lips. He looks up at the clock hanging over the whiteboard. “I have a few hours before my next class. Can I buy you a cup of coffee? Make sure you know where Simmons Hall actually is?”

Elio grins, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “I’d like that.”

send me a 🔀 and a pairing, and i’ll shuffle my playlist and make an au based on the first song that comes up

[newsshake5]

Investigating The Best Market Entry Approach For Reagents As Well As Methods Connecting To Peptide

Buy Sarms Uk.

Content

Stylish Tinted Cuff Folding Tendrils, Hinged Bracelet, Gift Women Woman, Fashion Jewelry 80s, Arm Fashion Jewelry Forvalentine's Day.

The Power Of Peptides In Your 20s.

Types Of Ipeds.

Sarma For Mass Is A Conditioner That Aids Accumulate The Muscular Tissues.

Prohormones were developed prior to the exploration as well as advancement of SARMs and after steroids. were already being utilized in the body building neighborhood. Prohormones resemble anabolic-androgenic steroids, yet with milder effects on the body compared to steroids.

It's revealed to enhance bone density and also boost the high quality of the bone's design. The body's bone upkeep cycle is reliant upon the tasks of hormones, and also the hormones that sustain bone health and wellness have a tendency to decrease with age. SARMs may suppress this for older individuals in jeopardy for weakening of bones and bone crack.

Prohormones cause an anabolic effect by converting to testosterone in the blood stream. The disadvantage of this conversion, which takes place in the liver, has an unfavorable impact on the liver in time, which can increase the danger for liver diseases. Our SARMs items consist of insightful summaries about the different kinds of discerning androgen receptor modulators that are currently readily available. You can use these scientific research based summaries to discover the different SARMs to buy. Discerning androgen receptor modulators are anabolic compounds that bind to androgen receptors.

Stylish Colored Cuff Folding Tendrils, Hinged Bangle, Present Women Lady, Style Precious Jewelry 80s, Arm Precious Jewelry Forvalentine's Day.

A feasible factor for the lack of more powerful effects on muscle mass fiber dimension in today study might be the family member short-term administration of OS and LG. Similar to the BW, the weight of the GM was higher in all OVX rats than in Non-OVX in both experiments. Just the OVX+LG 4 therapy group showed a greater GM's weight than in the OVX and also OVX+LG 0.4 groups, which remains in line with the monitoring of enhanced intramuscular fat in the OVX+LG 4 team. OS has actually been shown to enhance lean body mass as well as decrease overall fat mass. However, as a higher intramuscular fat content after treatment with LG has not been reported to the best of our understanding until now, this impact of a SARM application needs to be thought about as a possible adverse effects. Since the evaluation of intramuscular fat content is very complicated and was not the major emphasis of the research study, just the groups Non-OVX, OVX as well as OVX+LG 4 were picked.

direct-sarms sarms cutting stacks website ='border: grey dotted 1px;padding: 11px;'>

Peptides for Bodybuilding: Do They Work, and Are They Safe? - Healthline

Peptides for Bodybuilding: Do They Work, and Are They Safe?.

Posted: Thu, 03 Dec 2020 08:00:00 GMT [source]

It's this targeting of certain androgen receptors that avoids the harmful poisonous side effects, making them a risk-free, efficient as well as legal choice. The drugs, known as Sarms, are banned by the World Anti-Doping Company but are extensively available online, including via Google, Facebook, Amazon and eBay. They are implied to resemble the impacts of anabolic steroids in building muscle mass without the major side-effects. SARMs are an option to anabolic-androgenic steroids, checking out of which has possibly crossed the mind of many muscle building specialists. Among their numerous benefits is the virtually outright lack of side effects, which include mood damage, sex drive decline, or, as in situation of androgen prep work-- conversion to estrogens, which disrupt the male body photo. " I sent the supplements off and really did not listen to anything for a long while, and then USADA rang me a fortnight ago and also stated that the fresh, closed items I had sent had actually evaluated positive for ostarine. USADA claimed that they would contrast the ostarine ratio in the items to the ostarine ratio from my examinations.

The Power Of Peptides In Your 20s.

Particularly application to body building, there have actually been many logs of customers on various forums using Ostarine as a help to enhance lean body mass as well as strength levels. To date Ostarine has been assessed in eight professional tests including around 600 topics including three efficiency studies. A 4 month Stage IIb professional test enlisted 159 clients with the research study meeting its main goal of an absolute boost in overall lean body mass compared to placebo and the additional objective of muscle mass function. Careful androgen receptor modulators bind to the androgen receptor and also show osteo and also myo anabolic activity. There is a factor for making use of much shorter cycles, and this is to allow your body to acclimatise to the steroids, your body does not like change so might rebel against making use of steroids, what are the benefits of sarms. Until now we can state that it is the very first generation of Sarms and the offered results are extremely comparable to results generated by conventional steroids.

Unfortunately, the human body attempts to be creative and also when testosterone is on the surge, it has a tendency to increase estrogen also. Sometimes even at a quicker rate, due to this throughout PCT it is important to block estrogen from aromatizing to make sure that adverse effects such as Gyno and even muscular tissue loss don't occur. RAD-140 is most generally made use of at 5-20mg each day, with 10mg daily being the most common for 6-12 weeks. During this time people have actually reported huge increases in strength along with 10-15lbs of muscular tissue from the initial cycle. The normal dose for efficiency enhancement is 2-10mg daily for 4-8 weeks. The average results from this are 7-10lbs of LBM, excellent increases in toughness and little to no fat loss.

Types Of Ipeds.

The primary causes for bone and joint conditions are sarcopenia and also osteoporosis. Both, sarcopenia and osteoporosis are under continuous research as well as meanings remain in modification. In ladies, hormonal changes such as the decline in estrogen in the postmenopausal metabolic process might sustain the development of both sarcopenia and also weakening of bones.

The first week changeover was immense, without any uncertainty a recurring effect of the creatine as well as beta alanine, and also the option I made to front lots the research for ostarine for 2 days only. Generally, a drug with a 24 hour half would take a week to get to stable state I assume so an option I employ is 2 days of two caps at the beginning rather than the normal one a day really obtains that study approximately level quickly. I acquired around 2 kg overall in 8 weeks while noticeably loosing fat. Overall I assume I navigated 4-5 Kilos of lean muscular tissues and shed 3 kilos of fat without any diet regimen restriction. my diete was 2200 calorie each day for obtain shreds as well as i take strenght as well as keep the muscle i assume its not fake ostarine. As Ostarine has anabolic results, the dieter can cut calories without having to worry about muscle or strength loss.

Sarma For Mass Is A Conditioner That Aids Accumulate The Muscles.

Discover moreSARMs UK supplements are an exciting course of supplements which operate as options to prohormones for those trying to find something more powerful than a natural testosterone booster. These "Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators" work by intensifying androgen degrees in the body which leads to huge rises in efficiency and also recovery. Here's where to get SARMS muscle building supplements in our online shop. Over the past 5 years, online searches for SARMs (or "discerning androgen receptor modulators", including andarine and ostarine) have actually been rising gradually. Utilized this to maintain strength on cut, however really enabled me to boost weight on all workouts at maintenance calories, this functions like a mild PH, it is a terrific alternative anabolic.

Across the board, SARMs are considered safer than steroids consequently. Additionally, they're considered relatively risk-free just because scientists haven't discover red flags that raise alarm system regarding these compounds for human consumption. Men and women young and old have participated in various professional studies, taking different SARMs at various dosages for study purposes recorded in clinical journals. The muscle growth promoted by SARMs is what makes them interesting bodybuilders, professional athletes, as well as guys or females wishing to reduce weight. Nevertheless, research study recommends SARMs can additionally assist protect against osteoporosis and also help people who have it.

Unlike prohormones and also steroids, which bodybuilders have generally utilized, SARMs don't aromatize. The elevated estrogen that follows the increase in testosterone from steroids is what triggers their harmful side effects. SARMS increase testosterone differently that does not boost estrogen and lead to estrogen-related problems.

Albeit, just the highest dosage of LG was examined, it seems to be crucial searching for and needs to be explored in the future studies. Alternatively, testosterone supplementation has actually been shown to increase muscle mass toughness in men and also to avoid muscle mass degeneration in orchidectomized male mice (14-- 17). Although valuable effects on sex-related function, individual distress, and also blood lipids were observed in postmenopausal women, management of testosterone in females is questionable considering that lasting studies are doing not have to prove safety and security. In guys, testosterone supplements is associated with a boosted threat of breathing, cardiac, and also dermatologic negative effects. Bone and joint disorders account for about one-third of illness as well as health problem of the senior in industrial nations and also continue to reveal an upward pattern. Subsequently, the threat of falls has increased, and also cracks are ending up being an extra common injury.

It appears that there is evidence that ostarine is progressively showing up in supplements. There are currently 60 products on USADA's High Danger Checklist that contain ostarine. Preclinical researches have actually shown the capacity of SARMs to increase levator ani muscle mass in the castrated rat as well as to increase bone mass and stamina. Effectiveness tests of a number of SARMs in human beings are in onset and have usually shown modest increments in fat-free mass.

Is Matrixyl 3000 Better than Retinol?

The Bottom Line. Matrixyl is a new promising active in the fight against wrinkles. Initial research shows that it's almost as good at retinol at reducing wrinkles – and without its irritating side effects, too.

Ligandrol is often referred to as the "very osta" or the "king of sarms" because of it being very discerning like Ostarine yet applying its impacts a lot more forcefully, leading to greater muscular tissue gains. LGD is a strong agonist for the AR in skeletal muscle as well as bone yet very weak in contrast in the prostate. An Androgen is a class of hormonal agents that work as ligands that bind to cellular androgen receptors. All anabolic steroids or prohormones construct muscle with binding to androgen receptors.

The very first generation SARMs do not undergo aromatization or 5-alpha decrease; it is unidentified whether this might present long-term threats. The efficacy and the security of SARMs as function advertising treatment is just beginning to be examined. GSK, the research drug, belongs to a new course of drugs called non-steroidal, selective androgen receptor modulators, which can imitate a few of the valuable impacts of testosterone whilst staying clear of several of the undesirable side effects. The term 'SARMs' mean Careful Androgen Receptor Modulators. Androgen is an all-natural item of the body that allows us to construct skeletal muscle mass. In turn, this can assist to produce muscle mass, boost bone thickness, and motivate fat loss. The purpose of PCT is to return your testosterone back to regular degrees, whilst combating any type of negative effects that try to show up throughout this time around.

The information gotten utilizing SANS was complemented by transmission electron microscopy as well as atomic force microscopy information, as well as by molecular simulation.

We are experts in peptides and also have actually an extremely respected UK authority on peptides on our staff as well as offered by means of our Customer Solutions phone lines and e-mail.

The instruments SANS2D and also LOQ were made use of to make sitting dimensions of the self-assembled nano-structures that formed in liquid service.

This suggested there were various settings and levels of beta sheet packing, which is intriguing as it could clarify how certain amino acid motifs in peptides contribute to disease.

Changing https://direct-sarms.com/product/shredding-stack/ in variations in the shapes and size of the larger-scale getting.

On YouTube, it is tough to divide the serpent oil sales people from real user testimonials, however the basic consensus appears to be that ostarine works for individuals seeking to develop muscular tissue as well as bone stamina. This would appear to fit with the clinical conditions ostarine was established to deal with in the first place. It also fits with what UFC boxers would be looking for in a supplement.

They have actually been made use of in lots of medical and also pharmaceutical research studies across the study neighborhood. At Ligand Chem we guarantee that our products satisfy the industry criteria. One of the most substantial being boosted sports performance, fat decrease and muscle growth. SARMS which stands for Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators, have actually especially designed molecules that uniquely target the androgen receptors in certain cells.

[itsmassivecollectionpatrolus]

Explosive new recordings from inside fake news CNN being released by Project Veritas,

JAMES O'KEEFE, FOUNDER AND CEO, PROJECT VERITAS:  Hey, Jeff Zucker, are you there?

JEFF ZUCKER, CNN PRESIDENT:  Yes?

O'KEEFE:  Hey, this is James O'Keefe. We've been listening to your CNN calls for basically two months, recording everything. Just wanted to ask you some questions if you got a minute.

Do you still feel you're the most trusted name in news? Because I have to say from what have been hearing on these phone calls, I don't know about that. We've got a lot of recordings that indicate you're not really that independent of a journalist.

ZUCKER:  OK. Thank you for — thank you for your comments.  So (ph) in light of that, I think what we'll do is we'll set up a new system.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

HANNITY:  Project Veritas tonight released the first installment of these recordings. And first up, we have a CNN field producer and Zucker talking about covering the president's decision to not yet concede the race, suggesting CNN should frame the story by invoking the 9/11 terror attacks.

We always let you decide. Here's the video.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

STEPHANIE BECKER, FIELD PRODUCER, CNN:  The 9/11 report talks about one of the problems was that the trouble that was brewing got lost during the transition. So if you want a concrete example of what happens when you don't have a good transition, but look at the Twin Towers.

ZUCKER:  Yeah. So, I think that's an important point. I think it was just a little bit yesterday in terms of national security. I think it's really important to raise again.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

HANNITY:  Now, do you ever remember fake news CNN talking about the national security implications of the Obama administration? You know, the deep state using Hillary's dirty Russian misinformation dossier to spy on candidate Trump, President Trump, his administration, the biggest abuse of power corruption scandal in history?

No. They're the ones that peddled the conspiracy theories, the Russian disinformation dossier, perpetuating years and years of a Russia hoax. What about those national security concerns?

They are glaring in their bias, and their utter, disgusting hypocrisy, couldn't be more obvious, and it gets worse, because next up, October, President Trump recovering from the coronavirus, Zucker is now telling his staff they need to resist normalizing the president and to not normalize what Zucker calls desperate behavior.

Does this sound like objective news to you?

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

ZUCKER:  I think we cannot normalize what has happened here in the last week with Trump and his behavior, that this is a president who knows he's losing, who knows he's in trouble, is sick, maybe is on the after-effects of steroids or not, I don't know, but he is acting erratically and desperately and we need to — we need to — we need to not normalize that.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

HANNITY:  And Joe hiding, that was normal?

Lastly, weeks ago, Zucker instructing his staff to target Senator Lindsey Graham, saying the network needed to, quote, go well after Lindsey Graham. Target the guys we don't like.

Take a look.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

ZUCKER:  Frankly, if we've made any mistake, it's been that our banners have been too polite, and we need to go well after Lindsey Graham. There is a lot of news out there, and Lindsey Graham really deserves it.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

HANNITY:  CNN responded claiming that O'Keefe may have committed a felony, but didn't offer any specifics or cite any laws allegedly violated.

Here now is the CEO. He is the founder of Project Veritas, James O'Keefe is with us.

All right, every time you've been sued, has anyone done so successfully?

O'KEEFE:  No, Sean, we've won every single lawsuit at Project Veritas. And I know they said, quote, this is CNN communications, legal experts say this may be a felony. We have legal experts at Project Veritas. And we think Jeff Zucker is just very mad and embarrassed here for what we have exposed.

HANNITY:  Now, you're going to be on this program all week. And we're going to release more tapes very week so we can focus in on what you're going to release every day.

Now, they peddled this Russia lie for three years over there. They never apologized. They never corrected their record and they reported fake phony news and advanced conspiracy theories. They have stalkers of the FOX News Channel. And we're getting lectured by them?

Is this a news organization to you?

O'KEEFE:  No, Sean. This is — this is something that doesn't shock people but confirms a lot of suspicions. To see the president of a media conglomerate barking orders at his reporters and journalists, telling them what to cover, what not to cover, that's not anything resembling journalism I know.

I run an organization with a few dozen reporters. They come to me with facts. They're not — I'm not — they are not yessing me, in fact, they are challenging me.

And what Jeff Zucker is doing on these phone calls is telling people what the story is, telling them what not to cover. This is — this is propaganda. And I think in a country where citizens have to exercise their rights and duties, the consent needs to be informed.

This is manufacturing consent. And we've never actually seen it, fly on the wall. You can actually hear the president of the company instruct his vice president — instruct his reporters what the narrative ought to be.

This is the farthest thing from journalism that I know. And I think that CNN owes an apology to the people. I mean, this is — this is disgraceful.  

And this is the first time we've actually seen it, we can actually hear it.

(CROSSTALK)

HANNITY:  Also, looks like an in-kind donation to everything Biden. It looks like they have picked a side. They picked Joe Biden's side.

All right. You — the way you do things, you have a lot more coming.

How long did you record these morning calls?

O'KEEFE:  Well, I told Zucker this morning when I live-streamed the call, I said, I've doing this for two months. And he was kind of shell-shocked by that. We've been recording for weeks and weeks, Sean.

It's Christmas, December 1st. It's going to be like I guess an advent calendar. We're going to be releasing tapes every day, and we have more tapes tonight, tomorrow. And it's going to be, you know — this is a brave whistle-blower insider who came to us with this information, Sean. And we encourage more people inside media enterprises to blow the whistle on the corruption inside big media.

HANNITY:  All right, we look forward to installment two tomorrow. Thank you, James O'Keefe.

[strawberrymeriadoc]

Chapter 1

Merry had returned from a long day at the library. The school year hadn’t even started yet, but he already felt behind on all the reading he was supposed to be doing for his independent study with Professor Faramir in the Fall. As he put his keys on the little hook in the corkboard--next to reminders written in black sharpie and in far too polite a tone for what they were actually saying--he saw his housemate, Pippin sitting at the kitchen counter-turned-study-turned meeting place. “Hey Pippin. How’re you doing?” There was a silence for just long enough for Merry to wonder if it would have been best if he hadn't said anything. Finally, Pippin looked up from his computer: “Well you’re back early!” Merry scoffed and glanced at his phone which now showed “9:30”.

[Suddenly, Merry caught a black shape out of the corner of his eye. It came swiftly up to him and butted its head against the boy’s shin. “Aww who's my baby girl? Huh?!” Merry cooed at the shadowy shape. It was a black cat with a long, thin tail that entwined itself around Merry’s other leg. He leaned down to pet her. “Ohh...she doesn’t get nearly as excited when I come home!” Pippin complained light-heartedly. “That’s because she’s not your cat!” Merry replied in kind. “So what have you been up to” asked Merry who was more looking for some human interaction after a day of study in the Rock, what the students called the large Brutalist-style library on campus, than for an answer to his query.

“Well I’ve just been putting together this data from my recent fieldwork. It’s a pain to figure out this spreadsheet and I’m still very new to coding…”

“What was the field work?”

“Basically this week we tested the Ph of the water and searched for Mayflies and other insects to help determine the relative health of the streams in Gondor County.”

“That sounds amazing!” exclaimed Merry, feeling in awe of his friend. But his pride in Pippin was mixed with a painful reminder--he felt his humanities studies weren’t nearly as important for helping the world. Just as his feelings of self-doubt were taking hold Pippin asked:

“And what have you been studying?”

“Oh, I’m just starting researching trans and non-binary genders in early 3rd age Rohan. I found some interesting letters today that mention afab folks who dressed differently from the norm at the time and who fought alongside the men. They don’t use the term trans because that term didn’t exist back then, but it’s still very interesting to see that those subcultures existed…” He trailed off. “Sorry, I’m talking your ear off” He added bashfully.

“No, you’re good, you’re good,” Pippin reassured.

“Thanks” Merry smiled. “Anyway I should probably go take a shower, I’m all stiff from leaning over a desk all day”

Pippin nodded and turned back to his laptop.

Merry made his way to his room with his little black shadow close behind. Dropping his messenger bag on the floor, Merry’s mind began to fill with anxieties from the day. Was he rude when he briefly ran into Dean Gandalf? He was fond of Gandalf and would hate to have insulted him (though in what way specifically, he did not know). Deciding there was nothing for it and after one last pet on the Peony’s head, Merry took off his yellow t-shirt and his white jean shorts and walked into his bathroom. Merry looked at his chest in the mirror both marvelling at it and feeling ashamed of its scrawniness and of his weirdly-shaped nipples. Or, at least, he thought they looked weird. The boy worried that he had messed something up in his post-surgery care--though he had followed the surgeon’s instructions to the letter. Shrugging his self-hatred off in order to get on with the task at hand, Merry threw on the hot water and jumped in.

After he had gotten dressed, Merry returned to the kitchen/living room where Pippin was beginning to cook dinner. It hit Merry that once again he had neglected to eat dinner while he was out (though, who could afford it?) “Don’t worry, I’m making plenty enough for both of us,” said Pippin guessing Merry’s concern.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“If you could dice those onions, that would be great. You’re a lot better at that than me”

After dinner, the pair sat together and relaxed--scrolling on their devices, occasionally breaking the silence by showing each other something particularly outrageous or funny. There was a fire in the hearth and Peony was lying in front of it. She flicked her tail to and fro thoughtfully. After a while, Merry got up and announced he was going to bed.

Pippin stayed up for a couple more hours. He was messaging his friend Frodo whom he missed dearly. It was lovely living with Merry, but between his coursework and the orders in Minas Tirith to stay indoors unless for work or emergency, Pippin felt incredibly isolated. Frodo was staying in Rivendell with his friend Sam (though Pippin guessed there was something else going on between the two that wasn't platonic). Frodo was telling Pippin all about his studies with Elrond and the other Elves and how his Elvish was coming along. Frodo and Sam decided to set out for Rivendell to not only to study Elvish and Elf customs, but to take a break from the ever-changing and turbulent world of Men. The pair had been through unspeakable events in the past year and were in need of some space and mental health healing that only the beauty of Rivendell could provide. Around 3 am Gondor time, Frodo (for whom it was a few hours earlier) convinced Pippin to go to bed. Despite some protestations, Pippin agreed and immediately fell asleep there on the couch.

Merry was awoken by the obnoxiously loud music of an ice cream truck parked outside their building. How are they essential workers, thought Merry. And anyway, who wants ice cream first thing in the morning in September? Though Merry looked at his phone and realized it wasn't quite the first thing in the morning. Well...still wouldn't want ice cream now anyway. Slowly, he got up, wrapped himself in his grey, soft blanket and made his way to the kitchen. Pippin was still asleep, snoring quietly on the couch. Merry’s heart filled with warmth seeing his dear friend so at peace. As quietly as he could manage (which was very quiet indeed) the boy set to making coffee.

[fortheheavenssake]

💜💜 PG MM Anon 💜💜 Interpretation Collection - 7

Anon said:

You go PG!!! 😊😊😊🌸🌸🌹🐼🐼🐝🐝👍👍👍💖💖💖🌻🌻🌼🌼🌼😊😊😍😍💜💜🌹🌹🌹🌺🌺🌺💙💙💙🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹❤❤❤👍👍👍👍 Violets 🌼

Anon said:

💗🌲🌞😺 hi Skippy this is for PG and JG🏡🌲🥰🥰🧚‍♀️��👑🐱🐰🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🐥🌺🌹🌼🌸💐🐿

49.

💜💜🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON (DISCLOSURES)…… A presidential doe in the head-lights/sound/ camera …… POC ?……we’re just-ice wild about Harry…… 🎼 O Island in the second son 🎼…… NO’ there’s bigger fish …… “We’re gonna need a deeper hole”………the royal black-mail…… a reluctant Mantis …… “but it’s non-bloody-profit”…… fishing for chips ……… “For the greater good dear”…… disclosure beckons.

We have an additional word today, Disclosures….is that meaning big news and the end is nearer? We have thought quite a few times the end was near. I think due the historical nature of all that has happened, continue to happen, there may be several different ‘endings’ at different times. For example we haven’t seen mm in public for quite some time, yet her PR churns out gruel as if from a Dickens novel!

A presidential doe in the head-lights/sound/ camera

Doe in the headlights Is someone caught in a state of paralyzing surprise, fear, or bewilderment. Likened to the tendency of deer to freeze in place in front of an oncoming vehicle. So the phrase lights/sound/camera are filming words, lights/camera/action. So who is the presidential doe??? MM ANON could have said deer in the headlights which is most common but she said doe as in female. Someone’s female partner has become privy to some very startling videos in which she sees her presidential partner in , l won’t say further, we all know what l am talking about. Who is the presidential person??? I am not even giving initials, l don’t want a lawsuit thank you, or worse.

POC?

Person of Color, not colour, this is the American spelling. Is this direct part of the previous clue? Than it’s blatantly obvious who is being referred to! My, oh my!

we’re just-ice wild about Harry

Old song l’m just wild about Harry, Harry’s wild about me, LOVE old songs and films! In this case, play on words is justice. In Harry working covertly overtly, my fave phrase l coined lol a few riddles ago. Or has he fallen in with the dark side and will be in criminal trouble like the rest. I believe he would never betray his granny, HMTQ. I think he has been and continues to work hard on the side of justice! He needs a red cape to fly? SuperHarry!

🎼 O Island in the second son 🎼

Dolly and Kenny, love this song too Islands in the Stream….great song and collaboration! Second Son" is a short story featuring Jack Reacher, a fictional character created by British author Jim Grant. JE brother ME is a year and a half younger therefore second son, he now inherits the Island and all its horrors. Who would want it? Bulldoze it and leave it to nature. Harry is also the second son, he has no involvement in JE, however the backers that set him up and paid for mm may well have been.

NO’ there’s bigger fish

So, PA will be left to be, there are bigger fish to fry as the phrase goes. My goodness , l can’t get the actual use of presidential doe, out of my head. Rumours for years but what all is coming to light regarding public officials, politicians, people with immense wealth?!

“We’re gonna need a deeper hole”

Again with the JAWS reference. Bigger hole to bury all the filth they are uncovering. I don’t think this is meant literally, it’s to give us an idea of just the reality of the world tilting on its axis a bit once all names are public. But even then, l am sure some will remain undisclosed.

the royal black-mail

The Royal Mail is the official post, as ours in Canada Post. So here we have it, attempts to blackmail the BRF! This all started planning years ago. Go take another peak at the photos from IG, where mm, dr and ma present Harry with news. It’s obvious in those photos! There is also yet here another colour reference, was that intentional??

a reluctant Mantis

Mantises are insects with elongated bodies may or may not have wings, but all have forelegs that are greatly enlarged and adapted for catching and gripping prey; their upright posture, while remaining stationary with forearms folded, has led to the common name praying mantis.

Mantises were considered to have supernatural powers by early civilizations, including Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt, and Assyria. A cultural trope popular in cartoonsimagines the female mantis as a femme fatale. Mantises are among the insects most commonly kept as pets.

Well we know who our femme fatale is, however she is anything but reluctant. Who is the reluctant Mantis??

“but it’s non-bloody-profit

This is PP, anytime l see the word bloody l think of him😄. This is PP definitely referring to the Sussex Foundation and that Foundations and any link with work the royals do, is NOT FOR BLOODY OR OTHERWISE PROFIT,,

”

fishing for chips

🎣 fishing for chips, poker chips, microchips? Whose doing the fishing or is it Phishing?

“For the greater good dear”

Decisions and choices must be made for the greater good of the Monarchy even if it means family members pay deep deep consequences for behaviour. ?PA ?PH depending what happens.

disclosure beckons

Disclosure will soon be forthcoming, if l read all these clues right, this may well all be out before Prince Harry’s birthday on the 15th. The sell by date has long past, the truth all of it needs to come forth!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Fantastic PG…I would like to point out PA is also a second son. This is really interesting…thank you PG! So appreciate you doing this!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

———————

50.

💜💜🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

Sorry it’s so late we had massive t storm at night and hail. Just able to get online a wee while ago.

MM Anon

MM ANON … a trending treasure …… “ how many bloody grey suits does one need”…… “ read this babe ,and try to sound sincere “… SS will delete the mistake …… “What do think? I’m calling it ‘A royal Pregnancy ‘…… “Yes, with Brad and Leo” George is directing …… Push commercial!!!…… “Just do it Harry!!!”……… “first f#@ing day at school” Ahhhhhh!!…… “£#@ Balmoral,and £#@& Sandringham.” 💄💋👄👠👜💍🥑🍹🍾……… tabloid revenge

💜💜🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

A trending treasure

First day of school, DandDOC took Prince George and Princess Charlotte to school, he returning, for her, it was her very first day. My what a handsome family, Catherine looked beautiful with new haircut and colour. Our Charlotte is really growing up, her face has matured. She is a beautiful young lady, George is handsome, as we used to say, they will be heartbreakers few years from now. The photos are stunning and we thank William and Catherine so much!! For sharing this beautiful moment with the world 💜😊💜

how many bloody grey suits does one need?

We have all noticed the trend by now, old dim grey suit for any non-official appearance and well put together suit for official appearance. It’s more than a coincidence, it’s definitely PH screaming at us take note! Take note!Harry, please know we have taken note! We believe in you! We know you are covert! We love 💜🙏🏻 and pray for you!

“ read this babe ,and try to sound sincere “…

This is mm writing the script with instructions on how she wants him to read it/sound.

SS will delete the mistake

SS, Sunshine Sachs, PR company covers ills using worse ills. She is relying on them to make it all better voila. Them , using methods they allegedly employ, scare me beyond belief. Dark just got darker, and l am not referring to skin tone!

What do think? I’m calling it ‘A royal Pregnancy ‘

Oh my, has she plans for another ‘royal tour fakenancy? Oh, l couldn’t stand another sight of bump cradling, I will go stark raving mad!

“Yes, with Brad and Leo” George is directing

What is this now? She in a film role with the above named? Is this true? Or more of her fairy dust. Brad has been to rehab and has returned from the hell, that was his life with AJ, another fauxmanitarian, birthing his children and adopting in third world countries. Mm in a film with these, believe it when l don’t see it because well,@ l can’t go to movies because of my health 🤣, but seriously l wouldn’t pay a penny for that film. Will never happen.

Push commercial!!!

Pushing in the papers how much commercial flying PH actually does, this is all a distraction, every issue like this is noise, look over here, not there…please let’s look there, see what evil machinations she has continued with. SS of all , again as l said yesterday, the Nazis had an SS as well

“Just do it Harry!!!”

People want him to end it, assuming he is in charge.PH will continue until the need is no longer there, he is serving HMTQ! Remember what l said yesterday about his wedding ring, that’s no ordinary ring. Most British men, royals and friends l have there, men don’t wear wedding bands. So why does Harry? Think about it, remember what l said yesterday about that ring, it’s no ordinary ring folks!

“first f#@ing day at school” Ahhhhhh!!

Self pitying woman, jealous of a beautiful family and children, something she will never have. Catherine turned up with gorgeous new hair, looking gorgeous at 8 a.m. WOW!we love them, but how she loathes them love wins💜💜❤️💜💜

“£#@ Balmoral,and £#@& Sandringham.”

This is her opinion of these two private homes of HMTQ. These are privately owned homes, by HMTQ. This is her exact opinion because SHE HAS NEVER NOR WILL BE invited into HMTQ private residences! Full stop!

💄💋👄👠👜💍🥑🍹🍾

All gussied up and nowhere to go, what we used to say. Is this popping champagne et al getting ready for an African tour? She has no clue. Is she having a surprise interview with Ellen to air on tv?

tabloid revenge.

Tabloids and main newspapers have stopped any use of Duchess title, she is mm. There have been countless stories but SS and the behind the scenes Hollywood scheming is huge news and no amount of SS is going to make this go away. If she was hated before, oh to quote MMANON “ you ain’t seen nothing yet!”

Fantastic job PG….thank you so very much…..😊❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ask Skippy submission

25 notes

Sep 5th, 2019

—————

51.

💜💜🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

This late afternoon when l finally got moving l read incredulous things. I think we are finding things never thought and by an unforced on HRC’s behalf. Why come out of the shadows and tweet unveiling herself?? Thank you MM ANON and LG for your never ending work on behalf of HMTQ and British solidarity. I sense as Brexit gets closer more bizarre unexpected names will rise from the depths of the mire. God bless and keep you 🙏🏻🙏🏻💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

MM Anon

MM ANON … Bumbling along …… “( no Ice in my coke”)…… embrace the crowd …… they love me…… TV ‘ it’s a cake walk …… I’m not a royal pawn…… that’s what nanny is for …… the coverage darling,the coverage. …… F#@£ those small minded Brits…… while I’m in control ……… “ But! Nobody knew …… tell SS to put out a denial …… Di knew we’re the bodies were buried ‘ and so do I!! ……🎼 welcome to the Hotel… 🎼

Bumbling along

Bumbling is acting in a confused or ineffectual way; incompetent manner. Is this how they want us to see Harry? Certainly there has been a very domineering intense effort to role switch, she as the royal , he as the plus one. Let’s be certain, Harry is not bumbling, he is in , quite literally the fight of his life, the fight for the Monarchy. The bumble dating app has aligned with Smart Works. $$$$£££££€€€for who?..

“( no Ice in my coke”)

Flying first class commercial, can’t use any substances. Playing on words to flight attendant. Poor pet, that was one major reasyfor flying private but was never given publicly as an excuse. But we’re dumb Brits/Commonwealth we would never think that!WRONG😡 not only do l think it, l know and believe it!

embrace the crowd

Oh embrace the millions of Americans who adore her and will be lining the streets to welcome her home and praise her for all her hard work! 🦗 crickets do l hear 🦗 crickets? Yep no cheers only 🦗 crickets.

they love me

She is so delusional, she really truly believes she is loved and adored in America. Most people there don’t have a clue who she is. Nor do the care.

TV ‘ it’s a cake walk

Oh my, l hope this isn’t a reference to the interview with Ellen rumour. Maybe hoping to meet with her team tonight. Now which team OS that hmmm??? HRC lives in Westchester, NY.

I’m not a royal pawn

She feels that doing anything royal, which was her chosen duty when she married , she is being used. She wants nothing to do with royalty except the fun parts with diamonds, private jets, Givenchy etc.

that’s what nanny is for

Any questions leaving amw, as he is too young and fragile to fly to Balmoral, the nanny can look after him while she is in America.

the coverage darling,the coverage.

The coverage she will get, tv camera will be on her not Serena. Tennis players as are stage actors, notoriously superstitious! I think since Serena lost the last time madam was present, l would assume the last thing she wants is a repeat of that. She has also made a very public concerted effort to remove herself from the friendship. Ie when asked what baby advice she had…you remember that if you saw that. It would not surprise me at all, if madam did this without any consultation with her ‘bestie’ or her managers.

F#@£ those small minded Brits

Her, AND HER BACKERS!!!! Have exactly that attitude about each and every British citizen and by extension Commonwealth citizen. Folks, this is way way deeper of a plot and goes to levels once thought implausible, but that tweet today, that sent it over the edge.

while I’m in control

She seems to think she has the power and control. LG is giving her a few more inches of wiggle room, let her show , l do think the tweet today brought out in public a backer no one could ever have thought. What is going on? If a foreign national marries and tries to undermine the politics of the country she is not a citizen, that is tantamount to treason.

“ But! Nobody knew

Here l shall say, nobody knew HRC was a backer. I have a strong hunch HMTQ and LG and his team know every backer. But as far as l know, nobody had even mentioned her as a possible, her husband involved with JE. Something always thought odd, how such a woman of power stood by a man who so publicly humiliated her. I still can’t, but their mutual lust for power and control supersedes anything.

tell SS to put out a denial

Is this the whole anti-nanny thing? Have them deny that? Why? When there are a zillion other issues , PR lies, just in the last week!

Di knew we’re the bodies were buried ‘ and so do I!!

She still feels she has secret info on the royal family, and maybe she does, but whatever, she is wielding it like a hammer to get her way. Let’s reassure ourselves, this is LG, working with the worlds elite services, they do not suffers fools lightly, HMTQ as well.

🎼 welcome to the Hotel… 🎼

From The Eagles Hotel California, where you can never leave, like the mob, it’s for life. The ship she has tethered herself to, is a lifetime deal, and she has been so blinded by desire for fame, she has become infamous and she will have to answer to her backers because she changed the agenda!! For selfish reasons!!

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you so much PG! Fantastic! And the bubbling app and Smartworks.? Wow! 🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

I’m going to say it…I am…a dating app? I’m guessing goes deep into all kinds of things…

Ask Skippy submission

Sep 6th, 2019

—————

52.

Sept. 7

💜💜🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON … Jorges@ros… Thestarchamber… the puppet master maker…the puppet master … the puppet … the strings of PR……A Supreme Monarchy …… A future family … an American sidewinder…🎼”start spreading the news”🎼…… 🎾🎾🎾😱😱😱…… “WHAT!! Bloody New York”…… “September is a wicked month”…… hidden beneath a dress uniform.… BRIDGE-OF SIGHS.

💜💜🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

Jorges@ros

This l can only find a fellow who works for IBM Cloud services. Might this relate to the Bumble app that our girl and her pals are so vested in!? I really do not know l am sorry.

Thestarchamber

1983 film Judge Steven Hardin is discouraged by the failures of the legal system after seeing hardened criminals go free on technicalities. Acknowledging Hardin’s perspective, his peer, Benjamin Caulfield introduces him to the Star Chamber, a secret organization that condones vigilante action in cases where justice has not been served. However, when the cabal sentences two criminals to death, and Hardin finds them falsely accused, he clashes with the powerful group.

We have long believe a cabal is behind the whole planting of mm and the plan was but she took it much further ie child, merching etc. HRC Instagram revealed her as a part of this group of backers. I feel like l am repeating myself but it’s important! We did not know this until yesterday!

the puppet master maker…the puppet master … the puppet

So what was the impetus for this sudden trip to NYC? Tennis? REALLY. SW has been publicly distancing herself and lost the last time she attended. Not a good thing. The puppet, mm, puppet master? MA,Puppet master maker HRC, GC,RB,LR? I am certain this trip suddenly was arranged by SS, l don’t believe she flew commercial because no one saw her, no photos, didn’t happen. The purpose of the trip on the surface is tennis so she will attend that. She will have had either in person, FaceTime meetings with likely, SS, lawyers, agents, her backers for Sure!!! All under the guise of watching her friend lose again. Oops!😮Hey l’m 🇨🇦,l am rooting for our girl!! The extra benefits of this trip is the recreation, sniff sniff, gulp gulp, etc you get the idea!

the strings of PR

SS is now on board. If you believed no PR before, for sure believe none now! It’s going to get really down and dirty. I pray to a God they don’t go after the Cambridges and their family!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻. Be prepared for public misinformation, manipulating, lies like never before.

A Supreme Monarchy

The Monarchy has reigned supreme for over 1200 years and wants to stay that way. There is a well long planned effort to manipulate and possibly destroy it. We must stand firm in our unwavering support of HMTQ. PLease support her and her family, LG and his team in prayer.🙏🏻

A future family

Talking about adopting an African child, but l truly wonder since she did that bump cradling might she do that on this tour as well. Or might she use morning sickness as excuse to get out of an unglamorous tour?

an American sidewinder

🐍 This is definitely the Instagram by HRC yesterday revealing herself publicly as a backer. The nerve of encouraging a foreign national to interfere in the country’s political and upset the Royal procedure. The utter nerve!! The person who represents U.S. interests in the U.K. is the official U.S. Ambassador. What is she playing at. More information for LG, however he probably already knew. They are far ahead of us, knowledge wise of the facts, we know that

🎼”start spreading the news”🎼

The song New York,New York is where she is. Supposedly flew commercial, no photos or reports that l could see in scan of the paper.Did she really fly commercial? Or did SS arrange something more private? That’s just me being suspicious because l believe nothing she puts out.

🎾🎾🎾😱😱😱

Surprise at the U.S. Open. How will she present? I am guessing perfect hair, designer clothes etc etc. SS is on board now. Her public appearance will be vastly different now,,no more rats nest hair style. IMHO.

“WHAT!! Bloody New York”

Utter shock by HMTQ and PP that she has done this flight to New York. She continues to defy everything.

“September is a wicked month”

MM ANON has used this previously, sort of. August is a Wicked Month is a novel by Edna O’Brien. If you recall it’s about a woman so dissatisfied with her husband and life that she leaves for a different city. Will our madam leave be the same? No way, she is staying ‘royal’ $$$$$€€€€£££££ were it a regular person, the IRS would have been waiting and a return to the U.K. without a visa would never be allowed re-entry to the 🇬🇧. They are looking to hook bigger fish, she is a small minnow despite the damage amount she has wrought .

hidden beneath a dress uniform

Dress uniform? Whose dress uniform? I don’t recall seeing Harry or William recently. Is this reference to the kilts at Balmoral and the Highland Games?

Is this reference to SW uniform at the tennis? I just am not certain at this point what this means.

BRIDGE-OF SIGHS.

The Bridge of sighs is a bridge in Venice, Italy. The enclosed bridge is made of white limestone, has windows with stone bars, passes over the Rio di Palazzo, and connects the New Prison (Prigioni Nuove) to the interrogation rooms in the Palace. The view from the Bridge of Sighs was the last view of Venice that convicts saw before their imprisonment. The bridge’s English name was from the suggestion that prisoners would sigh at their final view of beautiful Venice through the window .

Why all upper case? Will there or has there been a lot of interrogation? Or has there been a chase since HRC unforced error of that Instagram post. Certainly obviously, this woman/situation has caused a lot of sighs, frustration, tears, anger etc.

I wonder if our Cambridges are very stressed and sighing as well. Didn’t they look splendid on the first day of school?,

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Thank you so very much. Great job! 🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

18 notes

Sep 7th, 2019

———————

💜💜💜💜💜 PG Special 💜💜💜💜💜 from Julie

Sept. 7

Anonymous asked:

Skip, Julie here. PG you have the biggest heart and an amazing ability to break down the riddles. We are truely in awe of what you give us because hopefully some of us look at the unravelled riddle and it’s like minestrone soup. Means something but where do I start. PG you look at it and go OK I can see this or that. Every clue has several ways of looking at it. Courts of law wouldn’t exist if we all interpreted the same. You get us to think and debate. You have an amazing skill we are in awe.

I have no idea what PG is apologizing for, but PG is a big reason I enjoy your site, Skippy. PG, I love your analyses. If anyone made you feel you had to apologize for anything you wrote here, I am sorry. You brighten my days. Cheers and thank you!

Dear, sweet PG: You are wonderful and smart (not whip smart, since you’re no heidiho). 😉 Thank you for all you do! Never complain; never explain. 😎 💕…Songbird

For PG 💜💜💜

You are amazing. The riddles are mostly in a fog for me, but I read your solution, and have an “ oh of course” moment. You make it so easy for the rest of us, and we know it’s a struggle for you, with your health, and love and appreciate you being here to help.

I never ever understand the riddles without your pulling them together.

With much love from the UK.💜💜💜

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

PG!!! No apologies necessary, ever! You do so much more than most of us here with the deciphering and you are top notch. Speaking for myself (and I’m sure others), I am always so happy that you tackle these and am amazed at your knowledge. Keep going – we look forward to your interpretations! xo

MM ANON …… pg ‘ darling girl stop with the beating yourself up 💜💜💜💜💜💜we love you pg …… LOVE YOU OK. …… your Bletchley Park top code breaker. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦Much love. MM anon.

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜PG ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCKS !! Pg we mortals love you doing what we can’t …… crack the MM ANON riddles …… so thank you for giving us a chance to go ……… OF COURSE!!! Bless 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

PG - message

PG, I’m always impressed by the connections you make or the specifics of things that I know about but in a much more general way.

Thank you.

You do a great job.

You have nothing to be apologize about in my book.

And Skippy, thank you for this. Wow, Things I never thought of.

For you dear PG! You have mail!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

PG you rock!

Sounds like I don’t need to be here…..😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

41 notes

—————

💜💜💜💜💜 PG Special 💜💜💜💜💜 from PG

Sept. 7

💜💜🙏🏻Thank you all🙏🏻💜💜

Wow l am overwhelmed. No one said anything bad, it’s just me being self critical when after it’s done, l see mistakes in spelling or oh l should have seen that it’s so obvious now,

💜💜💜💜THANK YOU ALL FOR UPLIFTING ME WHEN INWAS FEELING I HAD NOT DONE IT PROPERLY BECAUSE I TAKE THIS SO SERIOUSLY 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 God bless you all! I am truly humbled 💜💜💜💜💜💜GSTQAOBC 💜🇨🇦

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

—————

53.

💜💜🙏🏻PG INTERPRETATION OF MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

💜💜🙏🏻THANK YOU MM ANON🙏🏻💜💜

MM Anon

MM ANON …… Bloomsbury NY. ……MADISON AV. …no after party …… 🎼” I’m sitting at the railway station”🎼…… “ missed you,Thank you Markus darling”……… I’m trapped …… Him!!! ‘he’s pale and stale”…… I’ll be back ‘SOON!! …… “This isn’t Downton Bloody Abbey”…… “let her stew, old thing”…… LG gave me the SP…… Duck all in a row ‘ sort off?…… “Him!!!! He’s in the $h!t”… no going back now!!

Bloomsbury NY

BLoomsbury is a part of West End London, Coventry Garden also. However it is a major publishing house, in America. I wonder if she had a meeting regarding the children’s book there had been some talk of a while ago. I also wonder if she is being offered a book deal on a more personal level, then l would think the company would be one that could afford her price tag for a book of that sort.

MADISON AV.

The main advertising businesses , PR firms run along this street in NYC,NY.

Were there meetings or representatives while she was there?

no after party

She certainly was not at all welcomed at the tennis yesterday. In fact it appeared no one spoke to her, she looked completely alone, sadly alone. When she attempted to talk to Serena’s mum she was completely ignored. They didn’t want her there, bad luck and she was. At times near tears, at times talking to herself, sad, sad. Certainly no invitations to after party since Serena lost, and l doubt she felt like a party and l especially doubt she felt like doing it with a jinx who she has been trying to extricate from friendship for some time now.

🎼” I’m sitting at the railway station”🎼

Homeward Bound, Simon &Garfunkel,, you know it, endless one nighters, performer who just wants to go home. Is she finally, seeing a bit of reality? She looked so sad and pathetic yesterday, certainly different than her last visit to New York.No half million dollar party, designers clothes, surrounded by wealthy friends etc etc. She looked a pitiful soul, unkempt hair, alone, l am sure she had security but nothing like we have seen. Does she just want to dump it all and go home? Well it’s far far too late now.

“ missed you,Thank you Markus darling”

No show, she didn’t see him at all. I don’t know if he was even in NYC. Nothing in the paper l read about MA, JM, LR, PCJ, any of her usual besties for a NYC party. I do have a feeling though, because of the massive negative results of the billion dollar baby shower, she saw friends of the down low, oh that word again, l feel twenty years ago when we said that all the time 🤣🤣🤣🤣 even abbreviated to dl , how old am L?😗😗😗😁😂😂😂😂. I am certain 110% even without photos, she saw him, or someone close at Soho, for sniff sniff sniff, gulp, gulp, gulp, aah aah aah😮😮😮😮😮😮😮. I hope that translates!

I’m trapped

She is trapped! But of her own greed and volition. She has made many many poor life choices. This one due to greed and she went beyond the original agenda. Let’s see how her return to the U.K. goes. Will she have a VISA. of course she has magical visas.

Him!!! ‘he’s pale and stale”

She wanted British male, pale and stale with£££££££££££? This reference, SORRY SIR , is DEFINITELY her reference to LG, she does not like being controlled or having rules because she thinks she’s above that. LG SIR, please continue, carry on.😁

I’ll be back ‘SOON!!

She insinuating return to America ? Or quick return to London with fresh six month VISA in hand ready to hit the ground running in SA. Oh l can hardly wait to see her on thatbtour🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, if yesterday was any indication kids we are in for some great fun. SpongeMeg get ready!!!

“This isn’t Downton Bloody Abbey”

British Royal life is NOT Downton Abbey. Well it probably was at the time early 20th century. But we are 2019, expectations are there? This again given the tone and wordage comes from dear dear PP.

“let her stew, old thing”

No sympathy, no ££££€€€€$$$, she is not part of the BRF. Let her lay in the bed she made, feel the consequences of her decisions.

LG gave me the SP

LG has given the scoop , on the dl, the crack, whatever slang, Scotland we said the crack🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Memories 🙃. So who did he give it to mm? Or MM ANON to share with us? Hey l am doing my best and today l won’t cry if l get something wrong🤨 or forget something.

Duck all in a row ‘ sort off?

So all is arranged, almost, God please🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 be she gone by Harry’s birthday the 15 th. But more importantly, let them have every duck in a perfect rom so charges stick, there is a conviction!! Or another idea, given the extremely detailed SA itinerary, which seems unusually detailed and written at this stage, maybe this means the SA tour . But l hope the first is the right answer!

“Him!!!! He’s in the $h!t”

PH, poor dear, he’s getting lots of blow back from the media. It’s all the role he’s playing, service to the Realm, HMTQ, so in that he bears the negative criticism. Let’s do remember to pray for him and HMTQ.🙏🏻

no going back now!!

We are all a product of the choices we make in our lives to most regards barring illness etc. But we all know so much that she has done, and has done since the marriage ish day. There is no turning back ever. She has danced with the devil, still is, and trying to make money and changing the agenda is a very very dangerous dance!

💜💜🙏🏻THANK YOU EVER SO MUCH MM ANON AND FOR YOUR KIND WORDS YESTERDAY🙏🏻💜💜

GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦

Amazing job! Thank you dear PG!🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Ask Skippy submission

4 notes

Sep 8th, 2019

—————————

[imnotinclinedtomaturity]

Love Yourself (Chapter 32)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 17k story words: 267k (so far) chapter: 32/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia, eventual explicit smut, some depression, consensual d/s undertones genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: um so this is like a month overdue... but it's long af. and i've cut down what was going to go in this chapter. i hope it is worth the wait <3 massive thanks as always to @auroraphilealis for being my biffle, beta, and cheerleader. she's been by my side as a beat this chapter to death and listened to a million rambles of why it was important to me to keep it all together (which i only mostly ended up doing) and other pretentious shit. she's wonderful xx

note: this chapter contains more explicit themes than past ones. unlike past chapters, outside of the marked smut, there is risque material. skim at your own discretion if you are uncomfortable, but it wasn't set up in a way i could mark

By the time filming had finally ended, Dan felt emotionally fucking exhausted. Being so open and honest on national television, and having to be so careful with his words, had drained him of just about everything. There wasn’t an ounce of propriety left in him, and at this point, all he wanted was to be taken care of and not have to fucking think for a little bit.

Letting go — whatever that meant — was impossible on set. From the second he’d finished performing his song and had ducked backstage, he’d been craving a hug from Phil — a proper hug, not the one-armed bro-hug Phil had given him. But stagehands were running everywhere, and there didn’t seem to be a bloody centimeter of privacy, so Dan resisted. The minute he got in the uber, he could collapse against Phil.

But for now, resting his foot against Phil’s as he stood behind the stage wall would have to suffice. Dan closed his eyes, replaying his interview in his head as he listened to the loud hum of the audience laughing and applauding and — holy fuck. He’d actually just done that. He’d actually talked about his most personal matters, something he’d taken great lengths to keep secret, in front of all of those people. The studio held what? Two hundred people?

Two hundred people who were now privy to Dan’s rambling thoughts about sexuality and boxes, who now had a whole fountain of knowledge about Dan’s sexual and romantic preferences. Two hundred people who had seen Dan be open and vulnerable and honest.

The gravity of the interview smacked Dan in the face, and that’s when he realized, really truly realized, that those two hundred people were just the beginning. In a few short hours, that interview would play on national American tv, would stream on youtube worldwide. And sure, he had known that while he was filming, but he hadn’t known. Not in the way it was all hitting him now.

Dan swallowed thickly and let his hand brush against Phil’s. He wanted out of here. He wanted a hug. He wanted to think about anything other than this interview, his fate, his audience, just for a little bit anyway.

The twenty minutes it took to get an all clear lasted about five years. Dan was so on edge and ready to leave that he was already ordering a car before a stagehand had even finished dismissing them. Without waiting for proper goodbyes, Dan seized Phil’s wrist and dragged him out of the studio, down the lift, out the back door — and not the back door that fans often waited for celebrities at, either.

Dan felt a wave of relief rush through him when he burst out of the exit and found a black car already stalled next to the curb. Rushing over to the car, Dan wrenched open the back door and ushered Phil inside.

The relief coursing through Dan’s veins ran cold when the driver greeted him though. The way he confirmed Dan’s name, the breathlessness in his voice and the distinct spark in his eye — they were the unmistakable signs that someone recognized him.

Perhaps the ride back to the hotel wouldn’t be as relaxing as Dan had hoped.

Still, Dan shuffled in after Phil, leaving the full space of the middle seat between them. And less than a block later, Dan’s hunch was proven right when the driver asked which show he had been recording for at Rockefeller Center.

Not wanting to actually engage with this stranger, Dan grunted a reply and made a show of putting in his headphones, even though he didn’t actually play any music. It may have been rude, but it worked. The driver didn’t ask any follow up questions.

Of course, that didn’t stop his gaze from flickering into the rear view mirror every other bloody second. Dan felt like an animal in a glass box, on display and on edge. Phil was right there, but Dan didn’t feel like he could reach out, not under such intense observation.

Like Dan had told himself and Phil and Louise a million times, tonight was about talking about bisexuality, about giving that topic all the attention it deserved, not about him and Phil. The last thing Dan wanted was to have their relationship inadvertently outed by a random crew member or uber driver.

So Dan held back. Instead of sinking into his boyfriend’s side and letting himself get lost in Phil, Dan stayed on his side of the backseat and fell prey to one of the most volatile coping strategies he had — the internet.

Dan googled the average number of viewers of The Tonight Show and discovered it was over two million a night — and that wasn’t including the extra views that youtube brought in. And that, naturally, brought Dan to his next google search, where he discovered that The Tonight Show’s youtube channel had a whopping nineteen million subscribers. Subscribers who would undoubtedly have access to Dan’s rants about bisexuality, and his recently failed relationship, in just a few hours time.

Overwhelmed by the sheer significance of everything, Dan spread his legs obnoxiously far apart so that one knee pressed into Phil’s. Phil nudged back deliberately, a silent reassurance of his presence, a subtle demonstration of his support.

It wasn’t the bear hug Dan craved, but it was enough for now. The slight pressure of Phil’s leg against his own helped Dan stay grounded as he switched gears and fell down a wikipedia black hole about most viewed celebrity interviews. Unsurprisingly, videos about famous entertainers coming out were high on the list.

Right. No pressure there.

By the time the car pulled up to the hotel, Dan’s desire for real physical contact had developed into flat out desperation. He just needed this goddamn weight to ease back for a fucking minute.

Without waiting for Phil, Dan hiked his backpack over his shoulder and bolted into the hotel, through the lobby, and straight to the lifts.

It seemed to take bloody forever for a lift to actually arrive, but it took even longer for Phil to catch up. Dan had to pass on two elevators before he finally saw Phil entering the hotel, lumbering awkwardly across the lobby, weighed down with Dan’s guitar.

Oops.

In Dan’s haste to make it to their room, he’d forgotten that his guitar — his favorite guitar — was in the trunk. Eyeing Phil’s lopsided stance, Dan grimaced and took a small step towards him.

“Sorry,” Dan said apologetically as he pressed the up button for the third time. “Lemme take that,” he offered, reaching out for the worn handle of his guitar case.

With absolutely none of the coordination that Dan had developed over the years, Phil switched the guitar to his opposite hand, suddenly making it much harder for Dan to easily swipe it out of his grip.

“Phillll,” Dan whined, reaching across Phil’s body for the handle.

“Dannnnnn,” Phil retaliated as he stuck his tongue out and held the guitar even further out of Dan’s reach. His bicep was quaking, and his body definitely wasn’t used to the extra awkwardly large weight, but Dan couldn’t help appreciating how fucking sexy it was that, for the first time in ages, he had someone that was willing — determined, even — to carry Dan’s shit.

The bell on another lift finally dinged, and the doors opened. Dan’s attention snapped from Phil’s playful face to the empty lift. Relief rushing in just by the sheer presence of the lift, Dan gestured for Phil to take the lead. Luckily, it was that in-between time of night when most people were at dinner or something of the sort, and they had the lift to themselves. Dan took advantage of the brief moment of privacy and stepped in close to Phil, his knuckles gently brushing against Phil’s hand, the loving fingers that were inexpertly wrapped around the handle of Dan’s heavy guitar.

“Thanks,” Dan murmured, the teasingly childish tone suddenly vanishing, and a disgustingly sweet one taking over. In what he hoped wasn’t too cheesy of a move, Dan closed the small distance between them and pressed a chaste kiss to Phil’s cheek.

Brows furrowed, Phil cocked his head at Dan. “Dan, it’s just a guitar, I don’t mind.”

“Mmm,” Dan hummed, stepping back to his place. He watched the numbers climb as they passed floor after floor, observing Phil out of the corner of his eye. Phil was quiet, but shot Dan an odd look, his expression a mix of pointed and sad. It utterly baffled Dan for a second — until he remembered their conversation from yesterday morning, that was.

Phil didn’t have to say a word, Dan could practically hear him pointing out that his reaction was a bit unhealthy. Appreciation was fine, sure, but the amount of surprise he felt at a partner doing something so simplistically nice probably didn’t speak highly of his past relationships.

Wanting out of that moment before Phil could force Dan to properly think about his reaction, Dan darted out of the lift as soon as the doors opened and hurried down the hallway. Behind him, Phil’s footsteps echoed down the hallway, pausing just out of reach when Dan came to a halt outside of their door and fumbled to find his room key.

Maybe nerves or exhilaration or exhaustion was still gripping Dan, or maybe it was the knowledge that he had Phil and a hotel room and a foreign city all to himself tonight, but it took him three tries of swiping their card before the light finally flickered green.

The click of the latch was a wave of relief, and Dan found himself shoving their door open with far more force and enthusiasm than was necessary. Without waiting for Phil, Dan barrelled into their room and crossed the space in three quick strides, coming to a stop in front of their bed and spinning around to stare impatiently at Phil.

Fucking finally, they were alone.

Phil was a few steps behind him, and didn’t seem to have any of the urgency that Dan had. Dan watched anxiously as Phil walked towards him at the pace of an impregnated, fat sloth. Carefully, and ungodly slowly, Phil sat the guitar down in front of the bed and finally, finally his hands were free.

Dan didn’t wait for Phil to straighten up before launching himself into Phil’s arms, physically demanding to be held. The sudden weight of Dan threw Phil off balance, causing him to stumble backwards towards the bed.

“Oi,” Phil gasped as he tumbled to the bed, just barely managing to not fall all the way onto his back under Dan’s momentum. Even as he fell, his hands landed on Dan’s hips and pulled him down to the bed too. Just for a moment, Dan found himself awkwardly leaning into Phil, not quite sitting, not quite standing.

With a flustered giggle, Dan shifted his body so he was straddling Phil’s lap instead. Dan’s hands slid up from Phil’s waist, and looped around his neck, finally pulling him into the private and intimate embrace Dan had been dying for.

“Well hello there,” Phil greeted, his hands dipping under the hem of Dan’s jumper, his fingers thumbing over the jut of Dan’s hipbone. Phil’s voice was low, and his touch was sultry, and Dan couldn’t hold back a shaky sigh. He felt so damn needy, and the soft drag of Phil’s fingers on his bare skin was already quieting his screaming mind some.

Dan shifted back up, just enough so that he could look Phil in the eye. The cheeky and smug look on Phil’s face wasn’t surprising — maybe someday Phil would stop looking so satisfied about the reactions he pulled from Dan, but they clearly weren’t there yet.

“Hi,” Dan responded with a smile, not even bothering to hide the effect Phil was having on him. Dan tipped his head forward, closing the small distance between them, and pressed his lips to Phil’s.

Despite Phil’s teasing tone, he let Dan take what he wanted, matching Dan kiss for kiss and touch for touch. Dan wasn’t sure who licked whose lips first, who opened their mouth for who first. He did, however, realize that it only took a short minute for them to escalate from sweet kisses to proper snogging.

Before they could get too carried away, Dan pulled back, panting slightly. Even though he needed a decent lung capacity for singing, it seemed that kissing Phil for two minutes stole his breath in a way that a long high note never could.

“Where’s — the room service — menu?” Dan asked, his words coming in pants as his gaze drifted to the bedside table and then the desk, searching for a helpful booklet.

Phil fingers slipped down from the middle of Dan’s waist to the low hem of his pants. His brows furrowed and he cocked his head to the side. “Why?” he asked.

Huffing an exaggerated sigh, Dan shot Phil an incredulous look. “Because I’ve had a crazy fucking day and would like to let loose a little…?” After knowing Phil for nearly three full months, Dan was rather surprised to have to point out the obvious to him.

“Well yeah,” Phil huffed and cleared his throat. His pupils were blown wide, and now it was Dan’s turn to feel pleased with himself; he might be a mess from two minutes of kissing Phil, but Phil was just as flustered after two minutes of kissing Dan. “I know that much.” Phil rolled his eyes and slid his hands out of Dan’s trousers to a less scandalous spot, tracing his thumbs lightly Dan’s prominent hip bones. “I just meant, I’m surprised that you don’t want to go out since we only have a few nights here.”

Dan shrugged, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as he contemplated Phil’s comment. He’d definitely had some great nights in the bars of New York, but they’d all come with the unfortunate price tag of at least half a dozen paparazzi photos. That wasn’t what Dan wanted tonight — tonight he just wanted Phil.

Tentatively, Dan let his hands drift from Phil’s shoulders up to his bare neck, his thumbs softly rubbing along Phi’s pulse points. “I mean… It’s not that I don’t want to enjoy New York, I just…” Dan couldn’t help the way his gaze drifted down from Phil’s, landing instead on his lips. Coyly — or at least he hoped it was coy and sexy — Dan slipped his hands down Phil’s neck and under the collar of his button-up shirt. “I’d rather not be bothered by a fan or the media tonight, ya know?” Just in case the meaning behind his words wasn’t clear enough, Dan dipped his thumb further down Phil’s shirt and grazed his collarbone suggestively.

“Mmm, that’s fair,” Phil murmured. Taking Dan’s lead, Phil’s hands nudged up higher on Dan’s hips, pushing his leather jacket and tight jumper up even higher so Phil’s fingers could brush over the bare skin near the top of Dan’s ribs. “But what if I told you I knew a place where we’d be left alone?”

Cocking an eyebrow, Dan straightened up. He’d been in New York. He’d been to elite clubs, he’d been to dive bars, he’d been to locals only restaurants — and on every occasion, he’d been photographed. In his experience, this was a city of famous people, and in turn, that meant it was a city of photographs and tabloids, a city of journalists searching for their next break.

“What kind of place is this?” Dan asked skeptically.

“Well,” Phil bit his lip, suddenly looking a little hesitant. “Technically it’s a gay club. But the standard cover is high enough to keep out most fans, and they’ve got an absurd amount of security, just in case.”

“How do you know about a place like that?” Dan pried; he’d been to New York half a dozen times and he’d never heard of any exclusive gay clubs. But even as Dan questioned Phil’s knowledge, he could feel the excitement growing in his stomach. He hadn’t been to a proper gay bar since he was seventeen, and never with a partner — at least not someone who wasn’t just a fling. He couldn’t deny that the idea was hotter than hell.

“Oh. Uh, well,” Phil shrugged awkwardly, sounding shifty. His eyes darted away from Dan’s, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “Another gay youtuber has a friend who is a bouncer there?” he explained, but he sounded so unsure that it came out as a question.

Dan eyed Phil suspiciously. “How jealous should I be of this guy right now?”

“Of Tyler? Not at all. No way. Never.” Phil shook his head vehemently, his gaze flicking back to Dan.

“And Tyler is…?” Dan prompted slowly, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head.

“He’s just a casual friend who lives in LA. We collaborate when we’re in the same city,” Phil shrugged.

Dan narrowed his eyes skeptically. “And the bouncer?” he pushed, sensing that there was something that Phil wasn’t admitting.

Phil’s gaze shifted to the side again, his cheeks growing red. The grip on Dan’s chest slipped, Phil’s hands dropping down to the base of Dan’s hips.

Dan’s heart followed Phil’s hands, plummeting down into his stomach and then somehow sinking even further. Just from Phil’s reaction, Dan knew he’d figured it out.

“It was one time and really didn’t matter,” Phil admitted, sounding defeated, embarrassed. “But he’ll let us both in for free and there won’t be cameras there.”

Dan was surprised to find that he wasn’t just jealous, he was almost repulsed. His stomach churned as his brain supplied images of Phil and some gorgeous boy tangled in bed together, making him feel nauseous.

“I’m not sure I want to meet a guy you’ve fucked,” Dan said, aiming for teasing and joking, but as soon as he said it, he was sure the insecurity shined through. “I mean, what if he’s cuter than me?” Dan chuckled half-heartedly, doing his best to salvage his dignity. He really didn’t want Phil to think he was a jealous dick or clingy or something else completely annoying. Even if it was kind of true.

Phil laughed — genuinely laughed, not an awkward chuckle like before. “First off,” he started, his voice actually light and humorous, not forced casual like Dan’s. “There’s no way anyone has ever, or could ever, be cuter than you. Not that I'm aiming to find someone else.” As if to prove his point, Phil’s fingers dipped into Dan’s jeans and pointedly hooked under his pants. It wasn’t just a little this time; now Phil’s hands were properly inside of Dan’s pants, his fingers inching towards more intimate parts of Dan’s body. “And second off,” Phil continued, “I suffered through two months of knowing you were sleeping with someone else. I think five seconds of interaction with a random guy I slept with a year ago doesn’t compare.”

“Uh!!” Dan gasped in protest, his voice high pitched and offended. “I didn’t sleep with her for the last month and you know it!”

“Yeah, now I know,” Phil agreed begrudgingly. “But I didn’t then and I was so damn envious.” Phil licked his lips slowly. “Plus,” he added, his voice lower and gruff. “You were sleeping with her in the beginning, and I had to watch you come in with marks all up and down your neck that proved it.” As if to make his point, Phil dragged his fingers along Dan’s sensitive neck possessively, thumbing over the spot where coverup was hiding a hickey on Dan’s pulse point.

Dan’s stomach twisted in reaction, and a shiver ran down his back — whether it was the clear jealous attitude or the cursing that was turning him on, he wasn’t sure. There was a part of him that was willing to forfeit embracing any amount of New York tonight, that wanted to rock his hips forward and show Phil just how little reason he had to be jealous now, to take full advantage of the nice hotel room they had.

“Come on, let me take you out, buy you a few drinks. Maybe a nice dinner first, if you’re hungry,” Phil pleaded.

There was another part of Dan — an unexpectedly bigger part of him — that was itching to go out with Phil, to find a different way to show Phil that Dan was all his, even if it wasn’t the approach he was used to. And besides, after so many months of being dragged out by his ex, something in Dan couldn’t help finding the fact that Phil wanted to take him out, just for the sake of being together, incredibly sexy.

“Alright,” Dan agreed, conceding even as he let his hips suggestively rock against Phil’s just once — he couldn’t resist, not if he wasn’t going to have the chance to do so for a while. “We should definitely have something to eat first, though. I haven’t eaten nearly enough today and I reckon I’ll be drunk after half a cocktail if we don’t get food.”

“Fair enough,” Phil agreed as his hands slipped out of Dan’s pants, lightly gripping Dan’s hips and guiding him backwards. Tilting slightly to the side, Phil fished his phone out of his back pocket. “What kind of food do you want, then?”

“Doesn’t matter. Something with a view of the city might be nice,” Dan suggested with a small shrug. Sliding all the way off Phil’s lap, Dan made his way to the mirror, fluffing at his hair. The makeup from earlier still looked nice; the eyeliner wasn’t smudgy and the color on his cheeks still seemed to accentuate his features. Eyes meeting Phil in the mirror, Dan added, “Nowhere so fancy we can’t wear the clothes we’re wearing to the club, though.”

He knew if they had to come back to the hotel to change there was no way Phil was convincing him to leave again.

“I know just the place,” Phil said decisively, his gaze turning back to his phone.

*******

Less than an hour later, an uber was dropping Dan and Phil just outside of Times Square with an apology that they couldn’t get them any closer to their destination. During what felt like an infinitely-long car ride for Dan’s curious nerves, Phil had refused to tell Dan where he was taking him, and for a split second, Dan had been worried Phil was going to usher him to one of the hot dog or pizza carts littered around the square before leading him to a bench to people watch.

Not that Dan was strictly opposed to street food — he certainly didn’t want Phil to splurge on another fancy meal so soon after their last date. But also, he’d learned from experience what some vendors’ food will do to stomachs, and if they were planning to head to a club later that night, they should at least try to spare themselves diarrhea and food poisoning.

Phil took a hard right before they made it to the throngs of people though, his hand on Dan’s lower back to guide him in the right direction. The sudden turn led them… into the valet entrance to the Marriott?

Dan turned to look at Phil, but his face was perfectly neutral. “Phil, did you bring us halfway across Manhattan to eat at a different hotel’s restaurant?” Dan asked dubiously, letting Phil lead him through the revolving doors and into the hotel lobby.

“Yeah, we’re going to eat at the touristy hotel bar of a place we aren’t even staying,” Phil responded sarcastically. His hand dropped from Dan’s back, something that disappointed Dan until he followed Phil’s gaze to a gaggle of teenagers across the lobby. “Just trust me, Howell,” Phil teased, flashing Dan a coy smile as he pressed the call button for the lift, the doors immediately opening.

“If you insist,” Dan smirked, stepping into the lift after Phil. “You’re on thin ice though, Lester.” Despite the mock-warning in his voice, Dan quickly closed the gap between them when the doors closed and pressed a quick kiss to Phil’s cheek.

The doors parted again just seconds later, letting them out at the third floor. Confidently, Phil led them down the hallway, only to stop in front of another set of lifts. Dan cocked an eyebrow but wordlessly followed Phil as the doors to the next lift opened.

“Those only go to hotel rooms past this floor,” Phil cryptically explained as he pressed the button for the forty-eighth floor. This ride was longer, giving Phil enough time to lean in and kiss Dan on the lips. “I can’t promise this place will be free of photographers, so get it out of your system.”

Despite his giggles, Dan leaned forward and captured Phil’s lips with his own, this time lingering long enough to capture Phil’s lower lip between his teeth, long enough to nip at the soft and sensitive flesh inside Phil’s mouth. Long enough to reach for Phil’s hips and slip his fingers beneath Phil’s clothes, suggestively thumbing across the bare skin of Phil’s waist.

“Mmff!” Phil let out a throaty noise halfway between a moan and a reprimand, as he pulled back from Dan’s kiss.

“What?” Dan asked innocently, even as he let his fingers drift towards Phil’s arse. “You said to get it out of my system.”

“Well I didn’t think you’d feel me up in a lift,” Phil shot back snarkily.

“Mmmm,” Dan hummed. “Maybe I could resist feeling my boyfriend up in a lift if he didn’t look so damn gorgeous.” Dan eyed the denim jacket Phil was wearing, his gaze lingering on the fitted shirt covered with tiny pale flowers that was buttoned up all the way to his Adam’s apple, drawing Dan’s attention to Phil’s neck. The deep, pinot-noir purple stood out starkly against Phil’s pale skin, bringing out his eyes and making him look unfairly quirky and sexy at the same time.

The bell dinged and the doors parted, cutting off Phil’s reply. Dan snapped his mouth shut, but let himself continue eying Phil as he exited the lift — he could only do so much to tamp down his blatant arousal tonight, when Phil looked like that.

Phil didn’t hesitate to stride up to the host stand and give his name — that was something Dan was still getting used to, a partner being willing to take the lead in moments like this. It was proving to be far hotter than Dan had ever expected it to be.

Dan was still processing everything when the hostess started leading them towards a table. The restaurant seemed to form a circle around the lifts, and all of the exterior walls were replaced with grand windows overlooking the New York skyline.

Dan had only gotten one foot on the raised platform before Phil’s hands were softly gripping his shoulders. It was a good thing, too; Dan was fairly certain he would have fallen if Phil hadn’t steadied him. Beneath their feet, the platform was moving.

“What the…?” Dan breathed, baffled by the way the top step was moving but the bottom wasn’t.

“Look outside,” Phil murmured, his voice just centimeters from Dan’s ear. Following Phil’s suggestion, Dan glanced out the nearest window. Now that Dan was looking closer, the city around them seemed to be shifting slightly, and it took him a moment to realize that it was the restaurant that was rotating ever so slowly, not the skyscrapers outside.

“Holy shit,” Dan mumbled quietly, coming to a halt when the hostess gestured to a small table along one of the massive windows.

Dan sat, too captivated by the view of this foreign city to pay attention to the muted conversation Phil was having with the woman. Outside, Dan could see building after building, could see the moon rising over the water. It was a spectacular view, and judging by the slow rotation, it was only a portion of what he was going to see tonight.

It wasn’t until Phil’s knee gently bumped against his that Dan tore his gaze away from the window and turned back to face his boyfriend instead.

“When did you have time to make a reservation?” Dan asked stupidly, his brain still struggling to wrap itself around the amazingly gorgeous restaurant Phil had brought him to.

“While you were primping for tonight,” Phil teased. His hand slid across the table just enough to brush his knuckles across the back of Dan’s hand.

Dan’s hand, the one that wasn’t just barely touching Phil, flew up to self-consciously pat his curly hair.

“Stop,” Phil gently ordered. “You look good. Really good. Primping time was well used.”

Dan’s hand fell back to the table, his thumb immediately tapping out a mindless rhythm. He couldn’t believe Phil had taken the twenty minutes of downtime to book them a window-side table. “You’re amazing,” Dan sighed, awe dripping from his voice. “Seriously amazing.”

Phil tilted his head to the side, shrugging his shoulder as he flashed Dan a cheeky grin. “That is what they call me,” he said playfully.

“Oh fuck off,” Dan huffed, unable to stop the wide smile that spread across his face and the way his hand pressed against Phil’s. Teenage Phil really had picked out the perfect username for himself — amazing was by far the best word to describe him.

Dan’s gaze drifted back to the window. The view was slowly twisting so that they could see more and more of the river. The water was twinkling, reflecting both the moon and the bright lights of the city.

“Wait,” Dan exclaimed suddenly, his head whipping from the window to Phil. “Don’t you get motion sickness?”

Phil shrugged, a soft smile on his face. “Usually. But the restaurant moves so slowly that it won’t bother me as long as I don’t look outside for too long.”

Huffing a small sigh, Dan frowned slightly. “We could have gone to a restaurant where the view wouldn’t make you sick,” Dan pointed out.

“We could have,” Phil agreed easily. “But I knew you’d like this one.”

“Oh,” Dan mumbled quietly, a smile pulling at his lips. He turned his attention to the menu, if for no other reason than an easy excuse for hiding the blush that was flushing his cheeks. Phil ignored his dinner menu in favor of the black, leather-bound drink book on the table.

“Does your hatred for white wine extend to champagne, as well?” Phil asked idly, not looking up from the menu he was studying.

“Definitely not,” Dan denied vehemently, smiling stupidly at the thought of Phil ordering them champagne. “Champagne is its own branch of alcohol and it’s wonderful.”

“Good,” Phil folded the alcohol menu primly, and looked back up at Dan. “Because you were truly exceptional tonight, and deserve to be spoiled.”

“Phi-illlll,” Dan whined, bringing his menu up to hide the redness of his face with such force that it accidentally smacked him in the nose. His stomach tightened at the compliment, a shiver ran down his spine.

“Oh I forgot,” Phil said innocuously, his voice far too knowing to actually be innocent. “Does someone have a bit of a praise kink?” Phil continued with fake-casualness, his voice low and quiet. Husky. Sexy.

Dan dropped his forehead to the table with a resounding thunk, the menu shifting to cover the back of his head as his hands shielded his face from Phil’s view. “You aren’t supposed to take advantage of that in public.”

“Oops!” Phil laughed, actually laughed, as he kicked a foot out to nudge Dan’s. “Sit up and pick out what you want for an appetizer, babe.”

Slightly mortified, and more than a little flustered, Dan rose up again, his gaze steadfastly fixed on his menu. It was a fruitless effort, though — he could feel Phil’s eyes boring into him, which did nothing to calm his pounding heart and swooping stomach.

He realized they’d been handed a prix-fixe menu, meaning they would each get three courses for the flat rate of… holy shit. Eighty nine dollars.

At this rate, it was getting hard to tell if Phil’s tastes in restaurants was just as fancy as Dan’s, or if he was trying far too hard to impress him. In the months that Dan had gotten to know Phil, he’d learned that Phil was generally somewhat frugal — though never to a fault. In his business and personal life, Phil was always conscious about how he earned and spent his money. That hardly seemed in line with the extravagant dinners he was taking Dan to.

“Phil,” Dan started carefully, planning to test the waters and see if Phil would want to switch to the normal menu, one where they could share an appetizer and skip dessert (and shave a few dollars off the bill).

“Hush up and choose your appetizer, Howell,” Phil said without looking up from his own menu.

“Fine, I will, but…” Dan trailed off, his eyes darting out the window to avoid looking at Phil for a second before drifting back.

Phil folded his menu in front of him and looked at Dan with an unreadable stare. “But what?”

“But… you know not every date has to be expensive food and fancy restaurants, right? I’d be fine with Dominos and your sofa.”

“And I’m sure we’ll have our fair share of nights in with too much pizza. But I also like quality food and nice restaurants, and I know you do, too. So order whatever you want and enjoy tonight.”

Dan’s face must have betrayed the small bit of wariness that was still gnawing at his stomach, because Phil continued, “Look, if it makes you feel better, I promise you can pay next time we go somewhere expensive, okay?”

Dan smiled, his heart melting. “I adore you, Phil Lester.”

“And I you, Daniel Howell.”

****

The food was heavenly. Dan opted for lighter, mostly vegan dishes — a salad and a lovely squash roast — because he didn’t want to feel bloated and lethargic if they were going out after dinner. Phil had seafood instead and offered Dan small tastes of it, holding his fork across the table and letting Dan bite off it.

Dinner was lovely, but the company was even better. By the time their waiter was bringing them dessert menus, they were both well on their way to properly tipsy.

Sometime during the main course, Phil had ordered a second bottle of Dom Perignon. The bubbles — and ever growing feelings of infatuation — were going straight to Dan’s head, making him feel giddy in a way he couldn’t ever remember feeling before.

Around them, the restaurant was quietly buzzing with the Friday night crowd, the bar growing slightly more crowded as the night went on. Sometime in the past hour, the overhead lamps had dimmed, the lights of the city outside casting a soft glow over their table. They’d made a full circle, rotating around to see the empire state building and central park, and now they were back to the river.

Still though, Dan only had eyes for Phil.

Under the table, their feet were entwined together, mostly shrouded by the long white table cloth — although the more champagne Dan drank, the less he cared. A few times, when Phil gave him a particularly sweet compliment or an especially sexy look, Dan couldn’t resist brushing his fingertips over Phil’s or letting his toe drag up the inside of Phil’s leg.

In typical Phil fashion, he turned his full attention away from Dan for the first time all night when the dessert menus came, reading over the options with impressively deep intense concentration. Dan didn’t mind — he knew he couldn’t compete with sweet food, but he also knew dessert would come and go, and Phil would be his again.

“Dan!” Phil exclaimed, pointing to the very first item on the menu. “Look, they’ve made cake out of cheese! That shouldn’t get to count as a dessert!”

Dan giggled, his eyes still trained on Phil. “You know, not everyone has the same weird aversion to cheese as you, Philly.”

Phil didn’t respond, too engrossed in the list. “Oooo, look, they have profiteroles and — ew!” Head shooting back up, Phil gave Dan a genuinely horrified expression. His voice was just a hair too loud for inside, especially for the posh and intimate restaurant, but it was fine. “Who orders a cheese plate for dessert!?”

Fuck, Dan was so soft for this boy, this boy who had such bullheaded opinions over what counted as dessert, but was entirely open-minded about anything bigger. “What can I say, the world is full of zanies and fools.”

“Who don’t believe in sensible rules?” Phil quipped back with his brows raised knowingly, not quite singing, but also not exactly just talking either.

“Exactly,” Dan agreed with a nod, letting his eyes linger for just a second before finally flitting down to read his own dessert menu. There was an undefined sappy thought beating at the edge of Dan’s mind, something about how Phil felt like the fairytale impossible thing that happened to him, but he shoved it aside — that was too much even for his champagne-addled heart.

Scanning his menu, Dan’s gaze caught on one of the desserts — not because of the ingredients, but because of the suggestive name.

“I reckon I’ll order the Cherry Explosion,” Dan said, voice low as he looked up at Phil through his darker-than-usual eyelashes. “Hopefully it’ll be a preview of what’s to come later tonight.”

Phil held his gaze for a long second, a slow smirk spreading across his face and a playful twinkle in his eye. “You know,” he started slowly, leaning forward. Beneath the table, a warm hand suddenly landed on Dan’s thigh, fingertips dipping between his legs to rub along the inseam of Dan’s trousers. “I’m not normally a big fan of cherries, but if that’s what gets you there, I can get used to it.”

Dan’s jaw dropped open — both at Phil’s words and at the way his hand was slowly creeping higher and higher up Dan’s leg.

“I don’t — I’m not —” Dan stuttered, trying to defend why he had cherry lube at home, but there wasn’t a restaurant appropriate way to say that he got used to keeping it on hand in hopes that it would entice his ex-boyfriend to eat him out. “I don’t love the taste that much!” Dan finally managed.

Phil’s hand froze on Dan’s leg, his brows shooting up and a knowing smile growing on his lips. “So the flavor isn’t for your benefit, hmm?”

Shrugging, Dan did his best to keep his face neutral and voice steady — but the heat on his cheeks and his quickened breath told him he wasn’t doing a great job of either. “A lad can hope…” Dan muttered weakly.

The knowing smile on Phil’s lips turned positively lewd, his tongue peeking out to wet his bottom lip, his eyes darkening with lust. “Hope for what, Daniel?” Phil challenged.

Dan swallowed thickly, squirming beneath Phil’s intense gaze. He fiddled with the edge of his menu, resisting the simultaneous urges to knock Phil’s hand off his leg so he could think straight and pull Phil’s hand a few centimeters higher to where Dan really wanted it. “You know… something besides just… fingers,” Dan murmured, dropping his eyes to the table.

“I think most people don’t need flavors for a simple blowjob,” Phil pointed out, a smug edge to his voice.

“Philllll,” Dan whined, his face growing impossibly redder. “That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he grumbled into his flute of champagne, refusing to look Phil in the eye.

“Look at me, babe,” Phil demanded softly. Head still bowed, Dan shifted his eyes to look up at Phil, whose fingers resumed their teasing caress along Dan’s inner thigh. “And tell me what you meant.”

“I didn’t mean there,” Dan whined, praying Phil wouldn’t actually make him confess that he liked being eaten out in the middle of a fancy New York restaurant. That’d he’d settle for the blatant implication.

Phil looked like he might push it, but Dan was saved by the timely appearance of their waiter, back to take their dessert order.

Without taking his eyes off Dan, Phil ordered, his voice returning to its normal volume, a hint of huskiness still laced in. “I’ll have the profiterole, please, and he’ll have the cherry explosion.”

Pointedly, Phil squeezed Dan’s thigh, and Dan felt like he was on the verge of cracking, on the verge of begging Phil to dine and dash, to skip the club, to go back to their hotel — or fuck it, get a room in this one — and fuck him already. The subtle way Phil took charge, the way he challenged Dan in ways none of his past partners ever had, the way he made Dan feel so bloody taken care of — fuck, it was driving Dan insane.

“Bloody hell, Phil. You’re gonna kill me.”

*****************

“We’re here, babe, you have to get out of the car,” Phil insisted with a giggle. He was standing on the curb, holding the car door open and offering Dan his hand.

“I caaaan’t,” Dan whined, his words slurring together thanks to the full bottle of champagne he’d drank at dinner. He petulantly crossed his arms and stayed firmly planted in his seat.

“This nice man has’ta go pick up his next people, though,” Phil pointed out, flashing an apologetic glance towards the front of the car.

“But Phil, if I get out, then e’ryone’ll see,” Dan grumbled. Phil’s eyes followed Dan’s gesture towards his lap, a saucy smirk quickly pulling at his lips.

Dan’d been half-hard since they’d ordered dessert, and his trousers were still pulling tightly across his crotch, a telling tent forming in the center. Phil had been entirely unhelpful during the ride to the club, alternating between teasing Dan about how easily excitable he was and letting his hand wander up and down Dan’s thigh, not giving him the chance to calm down. They’d both had too much champagne to be discreet about it, and Dan hoped the driver wasn’t too scarred — he hadn’t said anything to reprimand them, at least.

“It’s dark out, no one’ll notice,” Phil argued, threading his hand through Dan’s and tugging gently. The awkward reach across the backseat was enough to unsteady Phil, and he braced himself on the doorframe, wobbling just a bit. “C’mon, as soon as we’re inside, you can get us a seat on the sofas and I’ll get us drinks, okay?”

Dan peered around Phil and saw that there wasn’t a line for the club. Maybe they were early — this was New York after all — or maybe this place really was as fancy as Phil had insinuated. Regardless of the reason, that meant Dan would have to interact with minimal people before he could sit down again. Plus, maybe a few minutes away from Phil would help Dan cool down. Lord knew he needed it.

“Here,” Phil let go of Dan’s hand and shrugged out of his denim jacket, offering it to Dan. “You can hold this in front of you in you want.”

“You’ll be cold, though,” Dan said guiltily.

“Not for long if you hurry up and c’mon!” Phil smiled widely, his tongue peeking out more than usual, and shook the jacket at Dan.

Giving in with a disgruntled grumble, Dan gratefully took Phil’s jacket as he climbed out of the uber, only stumbling a little, which he thought was probably a win given that he was definitely both tipsy and turned on. Dan tried to casually sling the jacket over his arm, aiming for a good boyfriend carrying his partner’s coat vibe, and not horny twenty-something hard because of some light pawing.

Phil’s hand landed on Dan’s lower back, guiding Dan towards the entrance. He dropped his hand as they got close, and reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

He started rifling through, for what Dan wasn’t sure, but the brown-haired bouncer suddenly smiled widely, seeming to recognize Phil, and told him not to worry about it.

Shit — the bouncer! Dan’s drunken and infatuated mind had forgotten that the only reason Phil knew about this place was because he’d fucked the bouncer. Or maybe the bouncer had fucked him. At this point, Dan honestly didn’t know which was worse to think about.

“Well, hey there Phil,” the bouncer greeted, his gaze blatantly raking up and down Phil’s form. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Hi, Oliver,” Phil greeted politely, smiling but keeping his eyes fixed on the other boy’s face. Dan couldn’t help but size up this lad who had slept with Phil; he had chocolate brown hair, curls, and deep eyes — just like Dan. In many ways, looking at this guy was like looking in a warped mirror.

Except for in one very important way.

This guy was built in a way Dan never had been, nor would ever be. His biceps were literally bulging against his sleeves, and Dan could see the sharp outline of defined pectoral muscles under the thin material covering his shirt. Jesus, it was March! Shouldn’t this guy be wearing a jacket or something? Not showing his muscles off to the world?

And rubbing them in Phil’s new boyfriend’s face?

Well aware that he was probably glowering, Dan tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear Oliver telling Phil he looked good tonight.

“I’ll be off at one if you’re free tonight,” the bouncer said as he brushed his hand over Phil’s forearm and offered him a saucy wink. Goddamn, Dan was well familiar with that move, and he wasn’t particularly enjoying watching some random bloke pull it on his boyfriend.

The bouncer’s gaze finally drifted away from Phil, landing on Dan for the first time. Understanding seemed to register in his eyes and his hand dropped. “Although, I’m now realizing that might not be an option anymore…” he added, trailing off.

“Oh, uh,” Phil stuttered, sounding strangled and surprised. His hand reached out and wrapped around Dan’s waist. “Yeah. I mean, no! Not’n option, sorry. This is my boyfriend, Dan.”

“Ah, that’s too bad,” Oliver frowned, disappointed, before offering Dan a cheeky smirk. "You’re lucky. From what I remember your boyfriend sure can ride. He's quite the power bottom, in’it he?"

Dan could feel all the color draining out of his face, could feel how tense his entire body was, could feel his nails digging into the palms of his hands. He was practically shaking — with what, he wasn’t sure. Phil said he’d slept with this guy a year ago. It wasn’t like Dan really had the right to be mad or jealous — they hadn’t even met yet.

But still.

Riding was Dan’s favorite position — he wasn’t keen on imagining Phil doing that with some other guy.

“We’re going in now,” Phil said tersely. “You sure you don’t need a cover?” he added with minimal politeness, cutting in before Dan could say anything. Not that Dan had any idea what he’d say in a moment like this. He reckoned it’d probably start with a choice four letter word, though.

“Nah of course not, it’s always free for you gorgeous,” Oliver replied flirtily, and had the nerve to fucking wink at Phil, even after it became clear Phil was taken. “Feel free to call if you’re ever around again!” His gaze shifted to Dan, dragging over his comparatively lanky body. Dan couldn’t help self consciously adjusting the jacket in front of him, squirming under the lewd scrutiny of this built bouncer. “Or are looking for a third,” Oliver added, this time winking at Dan and deliberately licking his lips.

“He won’t be,” Dan snapped, grabbing Phil’s hand tightly and pulling him into the club as soon as they had permission.

Phil followed willingly, not even attempting to pause and apologize to the guy about Dan’s rude behavior. Not that Dan thought his reaction was unjustified — the asshole had ignored Dan, hit on his boyfriend, and asked for a threesome, all within a five minute window.

Inside, Dan paused for a fraction of a second to appraise his surroundings. The club was dim in a seductive, anonymous way. There were guys everywhere, far more than the lineless entrance had suggested. A long bar lined the back wall, and sofas and low tables created narrow aisles, leaving no room for a dance floor — something that was both surprising and disappointing. Dancing would have been an easy way for Dan to release some of his pent up emotions.

Scanning the room for alternate options, Dan’s eyes caught on a deserted hallway. He pulled Phil down it, not stopping until they were passed the glowing coat check window and as far from the crowd as they could be. Dan’s grip was probably still a little too tight on Phil’s hand, but Phil didn’t complain and didn’t question.

As soon as Dan thought they were alone enough, he spun around on his heel, grabbing Phil by the waist and crowding him up against the wall in one smooth motion. Phil’s jacket fell carelessly from Dan’s grip to the floor as Dan planted his feet on either side of Phil’s, his chest and hips pressed in close.

The position left Phil pinned to the wall, and given the unspoken dynamic that they were both exploring, Dan half expected Phil to flip their positions, to switch places so that Phil was the one pinning Dan to the wall.

Much to Dan’s satisfaction, however, Phil’s only movement was to loop his arms around Dan and pull him closer, hands splayed on Dan’s lower back. That prick outside had gotten under Dan’s skin, and he needed to remind himself that Phil wasn’t with that arse. Dan needed to remember that after months of pining and lusting and yearning, Phil was finally with him and no one else.

“Mine,” Dan growled as he surged forward and captured Phil’s lips with his own. Phil chuckled softly into the kiss, his chest rumbling against Dan’s. Dan could feel Phil’s fingers tracing across his back, could feel Phil’s lips quirking up into a smile. The whole thing reeked of fond and cute, but Dan didn’t want fond and cute right now.

He wanted passionate and possessive.

So Dan didn’t pause, didn’t pull back to let Phil laugh. If anything, he kissed harder; his lips moved urgently against Phil’s and his hands slipped up from Phil’s hips, desperately running over any part of Phil’s chest he could reach without having to step back.

Phil’s lips parted, and Dan didn’t hesitate to slip his tongue in, roughly licking the roof of Phil’s mouth. Not quite battling for dominance, but definitely not letting Dan take complete charge of the kiss either, Phil massaged Dan’s tongue with his own, his hands sliding down to firmly grab Dan’s arse.

The dark hallway, the anonymous club, the foreign city — they all felt like a shelter from the real world, and Dan let himself get lost in kissing and touching and groping. Maybe it was the champagne, or maybe it was the red-hot jealousy coursing through his veins, but Dan didn’t even really care if someone noticed them. Hell, he almost hoped that asshat of a bouncer decided to go on a loo break and saw the way Dan had Phil pushed up against the wall, the way Dan had his tongue down Phil’s throat.

Saw that Phil was Dan’s.

When kissing Phil became too much for Dan’s poor lungs to handle, he pulled back roughly only to immediately latch his lips onto Phil’s neck. Needing to feel Phil in every way he could, Dan rocked his hips forward, grinding their crotches together with a force that made them both groan.

“Mine,” Dan grumbled again, the word vibrating against Phil’s pulse point and pulling a deep moan out of him. He nipped at Phil’s neck, just hard enough for Phil to hiss and tighten his grip on Dan’s arse, his fingers deliciously digging into Dan’s cheeks. “Mine, mine, mine,” Dan repeated before licking over the red spot on Phil’s neck and sucking harshly.

“Of course,” Phil replied, his voice surprisingly full of conviction given how ragged his breath was growing. “All yours, baby.”

Dan slid his hands down Phil’s side, rucking his shirt up and grabbing at the soft, bare skin of Phil’s hips. “I don’t wanna share you with anyone,” Dan mumbled into Phil’s neck as his lips kissed and bit and sucked their way up to the sensitive spot beneath Phil’s ear.

“Good,” Phil huffed, this time his voice lower and more affected. One hand left Dan’s arse to tangle in his curls, pulling back forcefully until their gazes met. “Don’t wanna share you, either.”

Dan moaned, probably far too loudly for the coat check hallway of some club, but he couldn’t help it. He’d always preferred monogamy — for a lot of reasons. Something about monogamy with Phil, though. Fuck, it was so damn hot that Dan found himself getting even more riled up. And, sure, maybe it wasn’t an idea that would make many people horny, but it was turning Dan on — he literally didn’t think Phil could say anything sexier.

Hands groping higher up under Phil’s shirt, Dan crashed their lips together again, unable to resist the urge to grind their hips together again. His involuntary moan was drowned out by a loud wolf-whistle.

“Get some, sexy!” A deep, male voice called out, making Dan’s wandering hands come to an abrupt halt on Phil’s ribs and his breath catch in his throat.

“Fuck,” Dan muttered, tearing away from Phil’s lips and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Dan could feel his cheeks growing hot with embarrassment, could feel Phil’s husky laughter as his head tipped back and thunked against the wall.

Dan wasn’t concerned about the whistling stranger recognizing them, not in the dark shadows of a dim hallway in a fancy club. He was, however, mortified — and unexpectedly a little turned on — at being caught feverishly making out with someone in public, even if it was his boyfriend.

Phil tugged lightly on Dan’s hair, this time lacking the command from earlier, and guided Dan to look at him.

“Drinks?” Phil proposed, his voice ragged in a way that made Dan radiate with satisfaction.

“Yeah,” Dan panted in agreement. “That didn’t help my problem at all, though,” he added quietly. Rocking his hips against Phil’s, Dan let Phil feel the full hardness of his cock. Through their trousers, Dan could tell that Phil’s cock was swollen too, at least halfway, and the friction was absolutely heavenly. Dan had to bite back another moan at the relief that Phil’s hips gave.

“Grab my coat and go find us a sofa. I’ll get us drinks.” Phil’s thumb dragged back and forth, back and forth across Dan’s hip, rendering him speechless and incapable of countering with any other plan, even if a part of him did still want to at least try to pay for something tonight.

“Alright,” Dan mumbled, leaning forward to press his lips to Phil’s one more time before pulling back entirely. Bending down, Dan scooped Phil’s jacket up off the floor and slung it over his arm and in front of his crotch in what he hoped was a casual manner.

Dan let Phil lead the way down the hallway, hovering behind him and taking advantage of the extra coverage while he could. When they reached the main room, Phil gave Dan’s free hand a quick squeeze before they parted ways, Phil bee-lining for the back bar and Dan veering right to find some open seats near the edge of the room.

After a minute of winding, Dan found an empty sofa in a corner of the club. The music was quieter over here, no longer so loud that talking would be impossible. He collapsed onto the cushions and spread Phil’s jacket across his lap. The back of the sofa was low, only coming up to his mid-back — probably to stop people from getting too relaxed and not partaking in the whole club thing. Slouching down so his shoulders were supported, Dan pulled his phone out of his pocket to tell Phil where he was.

The first thing he noticed was the time — almost exactly half past eleven. His interview with Jimmy Fallon would be airing any minute now.

The second thing he noticed was about half a dozen text messages from Louise.

Before he opened her messages, Dan shot Phil a quick text, trying to describe the dark corner he was sat in. Switching over to his conversation with Louise, Dan skimmed over her messages. She’d asked how the recording had gone, what his plans were for the evening, cheekily teased that she hoped Dan wasn’t responding because he was getting laid, and promised to tweet about the show for him — bless her, she really was the best friend and manager he could hope for.

Quickly, Dan typed a quick message back, ignoring most of what she’d said and just updating her on things more generally.

Dan [11:28PM]: taping was good i’m happy with it. i’m sure you’ll see soon. phil and i are out. i’ll ring tomorrow xx

Dan was just hitting send when Phil appeared above him. He shuffled back up into a proper sitting position, tucking his phone back into his pocket. Cocking an eyebrow at Dan’s movement, Phil passed Dan a lowball of something dark and on ice.

“Just Louise,” Dan said as an answer to Phil’s silent question and took a sip of his drink. It was some kind of whiskey, something much more bitter than whatever the blue concoction Phil was holding probably was. Dan was grateful that Phil seemed to remember his drink preferences, even though they’d only ordered cocktails together a small handful of times. He didn’t think he could stomach drinking something as colorful and sugary as Phil’s. “Thanks,” Dan said with a smile and a tip of his glass in Phil’s direction.

“You’re welcome,” Phil replied, twisting slightly to face Dan as his free arm came to rest on the back of the sofa behind him. “Sorry about that, by the way.” Phil pointedly nodded his head back towards the door. “I didn’t think he’d hit on me, especially not with you there. Hell, I didn’t even know if he’d be working.”

Dan shrugged, twisting slightly so that he was facing more towards Phil than the rest of the room. “It’s’not your fault,” Dan said genuinely. “Although, you promised me he wasn’t cuter than me.” Petulantly, Dan huffed and sent a glare in the direction of the entrance.

“And?” Phil chuckled, his hand slipping from the sofa, his fingers grazing along Dan’s ribcage. Something about the way Phil was so casually sprawling across the sofa, the sheer manliness of the position, combined with the gentle drag of his fingers on Dan’s side was fucking attractive. “Tha’bloke is nowhere near as stunning as you,” Phil continued, his voice low and sincere.

Dan stuck his bottom lip out, pouting up at Phil. “Are y’kidding?” Dan whined. “He looked like me, but with actual muscles an’ not limp noodle arms.”

Phil’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. His eyes dragged over Dan, lingering on his arms, his chest. Dan squirmed under Phil’s intense gaze, and he was certain his cheeks were growing red. He slouched down again; Phil was taller than him now, and Dan had to tip his head up to look at him. From this angle, Dan had a perfect view of the red marks blossoming on Phil’s neck, and he felt pride swell deep in his stomach.

“I’ll admit I have a bit of a thing for dark hair an’ pretty eyes,” Phil conceded, a small smirk on his face and humor lacing his voice. Elbow still resting on the back of the sofa, Phil bent his arm so he could run his hand through Dan’s hair, petting sweetly. Dan couldn’t resist just slightly leaning his head back into the touch, silently encouraging Phil to continue his ministrations. Jesus christ, he loved his hair being played with, both in and out of the bedroom. “But the muscles don’t really do anything for me.” Phil shrugged casually, his eyes dropping from Dan’s again to salaciously rake over his body.

“In fact,” Phil continued, his voice suddenly lower, huskier. Sexier. “I prefer that you’re a li’le more narrow ‘n me.” The hand in Dan’s hair slid down. Phil’s fingers lightly traced down the side of Dan’s neck, making Dan’s skin feel on fire and his breath catch in his throat. Phil scooched a little more towards Dan, and the close proximity made Dan have to look up even more. “I like being able’ta wrap you up in my arms.”

Arm wrapped around Dan’s shoulder, Phil pulled him in so that Dan’s shoulder was leaning against Phil’s chest, making Dan feel tiny — and not in the bad way he had a minute ago, when he’d been comparing himself to the fit bouncer out front.

This time, Dan was less subtle about the way he settled into Phil’s embrace. He brought the leg closest to Phil up, and let his knee fall into Phil’s lap. Phil seemed to welcome the new position, his other hand shifting to rest his drink on Dan’s thigh.

In sync, they both took a sip of their cocktails, and Dan found himself completely distracted from the bitter taste as he stared heatedly into Phil’s eyes. Pointedly, Dan flicked his gaze down to Phil’s glass with a challenging spark in his eye, and tipped his own drink back further. It wasn’t until the liquid was half gone that Dan stopped. With a small smirk, Phil followed Dan’s lead, lifting his glass higher and chugging.

Dan couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way Phil’s adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and god, he wanted to drag his teeth against it, nip and lick Phil’s neck, add to the marks already there. He wanted to make Phil feel good, wanted to chase the sharpness of the whiskey away with the taste of Phil’s skin.

Overcome with the need to kiss Phil right now, Dan nestled his glass by his hip and tugged on Phil’s wrist. Phil clearly got the hint, his eyes twinkling with mirth and his drink lowering to Dan’s leg.

Pulled together like unstoppable magnets, they both leaned in, their lips meeting with heady passion that was likely too much for a nightclub. Phil tasted fruity and sweet, a perfect contrast to the heavy, bitter flavor of whiskey lingering in Dan’s mouth. Their lips moved against each other, Phil’s tongue almost immediately dragging along Dan’s lower lip, practically demanding entrance. Pliant and desperate for anything Phil would give him, Dan parted his lips and let Phil in. Hot desire rushed through Dan’s veins, his arousal only growing when Phil licked behind his teeth.

Dan let himself be kissed, pushing up, up, up into Phil, chasing the overwhelming feeling of Phil. It was so much, and yet not enough.

A sharp tug of Dan’s hair forced him to tip his head back further — and jesus fuck, that was hot. The new angle gave Phil access to Dan’s neck, and his lips worked their way down from Dan’s mouth to his pulse point. Beneath Phil’s mouth, Dan could feel his blood rushing, his heart pounding, and he never wanted this moment to end. The soft scrape of Phil’s teeth on his skin drew a loud moan out of Dan and caused his muscles to go slack.

Wet, cold liquid splashed onto Dan’s thigh, and he tore himself away from Phil’s lips. He looked down, finding his glass tipped precariously to the side. Oops.

Now that their drinks were emptier and the music was louder, any hope of carrying on a proper conversation had slipped away. That was fine — they’d talked plenty at dinner, and there’d be plenty of time for talking later.

Sitting upright, Dan drained the last sips of his whiskey, motioning for Phil to do the same. There were only a few gulps left in Phil’s, and he obediently knocked it back. As soon as the drink was empty, Dan snatched the glass out of Phil’s hand and hurriedly put them both on the table. His movements were careless and clumsy, resulting in one of the glasses almost immediately tipping over and ice spilling out.

Dan ignored the mess — he didn’t particularly care about anything other than Phil right now. Dan swooped back in and pressed his lips to Phil’s, his leg shifting so that he was nearly straddling Phil. Warm, firm hands gripped Dan’s hips, lifting and pulling until Dan was fully in Phil’s lap.

“Fuck,” Dan moaned against Phil’s lips, painfully turned on by the way Phil was fucking manhandling him. Dan wanted more, needed to be closer, so he tangled his hands in Phil’s quiff, bracing his elbows against Phil’s shoulders so that he could lean up and kiss Phil harder. Phil’s hands crept under Dan’s tight jumper, and his nails dug into Dan’s waist, making Dan hyper aware of every single one of Phil’s fingers.

Phil’s touch on Dan’s bare sides was electrifying, and a surge of pleasure shot up Dan’s spine. Needing to do something with the heat that was radiating from every inch of his body, Dan found himself grinding his hips down into Phil’s.

“Yeah, baby,” Phil slurred, pulling roughly and guiding Dan to rock his hips forward again. Phil felt so fucking good beneath Dan, solid, warm, and — jesus — growing hard.

Dan’s cock had calmed down some while Phil had fetched their drinks, but the friction of Phil’s hips, the tease of Phil’s hard on, made it swell in interest again.

Tearing his lips away from Phil’s, Dan latched onto Phil’s neck and sucked hard, hard enough to surely leave another mark. Those could be tomorrow’s problem to worry about. Dan worked his way higher, leaving a trail of wet, open mouthed kisses up Phil’s neck. Phil’s fingers were digging into Dan’s hips, and it was fucking intoxicating — more so than the champagne and whiskey and whatever else they were going to drink could ever be.

“You —” Phil started, his words cut off by a loud gasp as Dan sucked on what must have been a particularly sensitive spot — Dan made a mental note, because he definitely wanted to make Phil do that again. “You look s’good like this,” Phil mumbled.

“Phhhh—” Dan moaned, unable to even get Phil’s name out. The compliment felt like a physical wave of pleasure rushing through Dan’s body, making him feel hot all over. Phil was so fucking right about that whole praise thing.

Dan caught the lobe of Phil’s ear in his mouth, letting his teeth graze over it and his tongue dart out to flick it. Pushing up just a hair, Dan slid his hands from Phil’s hair, down his neck, over his shoulders, and down to his chest. Dan couldn't resist bunching Phil’s shirt in his fists, massaging over Phil’s nipples with his thumbs.

“Good, because when we get back to the hotel room,” Dan whispered into Phil’s ear, “I wanna ride you.”

“Fuck,” Phil cursed, his hand rucking Dan’s jumper up high enough that his fingers stroked the bottom of Dan’s ribcage. “Yeah, okay.”

Surprised at how easily Phil had agreed, Dan pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Wait, really? You’re cool with that being how we fuck tonight?”

“Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan,” Phil mumbled, his hands tracing rough lines up and down the naked skin of Dan’s waist. “You have no idea how sexy you look above me. Trust me, I definitely want to see you like this, filled up with my cock.”

Dan’s cock twitched, and he had to restrain himself from rocking forward again. “Jesus, Phil,” Dan panted, his hands gripping Phil’s shoulders tightly as he tried to hold onto some grain of composure. “You can’t just say shit like that.”

“And why’s that?” Phil teased, his thumbs dragging back and forth across Dan’s ribs, the feeling absolutely heavenly. It was somehow hot and tender at the same time, and Dan wanted more more more.

“You know why, you fucking asshole,” Dan grumbled, leaning back down to kiss along Phil’s neck. Dan was beginning to accept that Phil was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to actually admit it out loud.

“You ‘n your praise kink make this too fucking easy,” Phil murmured, half panting, half chuckling.

“Don’t take ‘vantage of me,” Dan mumbled jokingly into Phil’s neck, lightly nipping at Phil’s shoulder.

Properly laughing this time, Phil slid his hands down to Dan’s hips and used his leverage to push him back. The momentum forced Dan all the way back to Phil’s knees — something Dan was thoroughly disgruntled about. But then one of Phil’s hands left Dan’s waist and thumbed over his cheek, a soft and fond look on his face, and Dan couldn’t help but melt. He might have been horny and hot, but he was so damn enamoured that the tender gesture affected him just as much as the grinding and wandering hands had.

“If we keep down this path, I’m gonna have a hard time keeping m’hands to myself,” Phil teased, a playful smirk toying at his lips. His other hand dipped into Dan’s jeans and stroked the long, prominent bone of his hip, as if to prove his point. Fuck, just Phi’s fingers on his hip was enough to drive Dan fucking mad, he didn’t know how he was going to manage to get through the night and back to their hotel without losing control.

“How ‘bout we dance for a bit?” Phil proposed suddenly. Shocked and unable to process Phil’s suggestion, Dan snapped his head back and stared down at Phil with bleary eyes, blinking slowly. The fuck?

Dancing? Right, okay. Dan could be up for dancing. But...

Dan glanced over his shoulder at the rest of the club, confused. Just like he remembered, there wasn’t exactly room for dancing anywhere. However, Dan noticed that there were several couples that were making out, feeling each other up, grinding hips desperately together.

“Uh, where?” Dan questioned skeptically. From his quick glance around, it seemed like dancing would actually draw more attention to them than snogging in a dark corner.

“Dance floor. Downstairs,” Phil explained, his head nodding toward the opposite corner. Dan followed the direction of Phil’s nod, noticing a dimly lit staircase for the first time. Of course — a lot of clubs separated sitting areas from dancing areas, Dan’s tipsy brain had just been too out of it to process.

“Sounds good,” Dan mumbled in agreement, dipping down to kiss at Phil’s neck one more time before he had to climb out of Phil’s lap. “We should have somethin’ else t’drink first, though. I’m a rubbish dancer,” he chuckled. It wasn’t entirely true, but Phil didn’t have to know that just yet.

The excuse sounded better than I wanna be drunk and free with you. Plus, maybe Dan’s decent dancing would be a pleasant surprise later.

Phil’s hand slipped out from Dan’s shirt, and ran up his chest. “How ‘bout you take our jackets to the coat check an’ I’ll order us something else t’drink, baby?” Phil suggested, his tone not really leaving room for Dan to argue as his hands dipped under Dan’s leather jacket, carefully shrugging it off his shoulders.

Dan’s jacket caught around his biceps, hanging from his arms in the gayest of fashions and he loved it. He wiggled his knees backwards until he was hovering above Phil’s hips and could easily rest his feet on the floor.

“Alright, let’s go then,” Dan agreed, backing off Phil entirely and holding one hand out to help him off the sofa. Dan was excited to dance, it would give him something a little less slutty to do with all his energy. Grabbing Phil’s jacket, Dan nodded once at Phil before heading back down the deserted hallway from earlier — only now it wasn’t as deserted. Dan passed three couples heatedly kissing before he even got to the coat check booth. But then again, surely snogging in public wasn’t that slutty if this many people were doing it.

Smiling at the employee, Dan dropped Phil’s denim jacket onto the small ledge and shrugged out of his own leather one, not bothering to tuck his phone into his pants pocket before he handed it to the guy across the bar. Tonight was about letting go, and the only person who could really need him had Phil’s number now.

Dan took the coat-check number from the worker, tucking it into his back pocket, and made his way back to the bar. Phil was standing at the far end, twisted around and watching for Dan.

And fuck, he looked good. Sometime while Dan had been gone, Phil had loosened up a little bit. The top four buttons of his shirt were undone, and his sleeves were rolled up past his elbows, and god help Dan because he was pretty sure he was about to come in his fucking pants. Phil looked so goddamn seductive leaning back against the bar like that, his shirt dipping down, his chest peeking out, his forearms taut.

Phil was gorgeous and sexy and so entirely manly — Dan couldn’t get enough.

It wasn’t until he was standing directly in front of Phil that Dan realized that there were no cocktails — no, instead there were two double shots in front of Phil, plus a small plate of lime wedges and a salt shaker. Tequila, then.

“Get ov’r here, mister,” Phil demanded, a smile on his face as he made grabby hands for Dan. Fucking hell, it should be illegal for someone to be so sexy and so cute at the same time. Dan could only handle so much, and his cock and his heart were competing for blood at this point. “I ordered us shots.”

“Shots, huh?” Dan teased, one hand coming to rest on the bar on the outside of Phil’s hip. “A simple drink wasn’t good enough for you, then?”

“I figured neither of us could manage a drink an’ dancing a’the same time.” Phil shrugged with a smile, turning back toward the bar and letting his arse grind into Dan’s hips as he pulled their shots closer to them.

Fuck. Phil really knew how to play Dan.

“Come here,” Phil murmured as he twisted back around, his hands landing on Dan’s hips. In one smooth movement, Phil spun them around and switched their positions. Before Dan could fully process the change, his waist was pressing into the bar and Phil’s crotch was digging into his arse. “Take a shot with me.”

Phil’s voice was deep and gruff, and the scratchiness of it made Dan’s stomach flip over and over in desire. He bloody adored how Phil was taking care of him tonight, somehow perfectly in charge of all of Dan’s needs, intuitively aware of what Dan would find the sexiest and most fun at any given moment.

Dan reached for a tequila shot with one hand, his other grabbing a lime. Realizing his mistake — it was salt, tequila, lime, after all — Dan dropped his lime in favor of reaching for the salt shaker. Phil beat him to it, though, licking a long stripe up his own hand and shaking two small mounds of salt along the line.

“Here,” Phil murmured into Dan’s ear, bringing his hand level with Dan’s mouth.

Not hesitating to check their surroundings or respond, Dan surged forward and sucked the salt off Phil’s hand. Phil moved quickly, his head dipping forward and licking his hand at the same time as Dan, their cheeks pressing together. Simultaneously, they both lifted their shots to their mouths, tipping the tequila down their throat. Behind him, Dan could feel Phil gulp, could feel his neck and his chest and his stomach move as he swallowed the alcohol.

Phil got to the lime first, holding it in front of Dan’s lips. Leaning forward, Dan sucked the lime into his mouth, taking care to drag his lips along Phil’s fingers as well. Soft vibrations rumbled against Dan’s back, and it took his drunken brain a second to realize that they were from Phil moaning.

Phil dropped the lime to the bar and reached for the other wedge, but Dan knocked his hand out of the way. It was his turn.

Grabbing the second wedge, Dan spun around to face Phil. Dan tried his intoxicated best to arrange his face into a seductive look as he held the wedge up to Phil’s mouth and nudged it against his lips. Maybe it was successful, because Dan glanced up at Phil’s eyes and saw that his pupils were wide and dark. He looked hungry, Dan thought, but it wasn’t for the lime.

Regardless, Phil parted his lips and sucked on it, pulling the tips of Dan’s fingers into the wet heat of his mouth, too.

Fucking hell, no wonder Phil had moaned when Dan had done that. Now that Dan’s fingers were in Phil’s mouth, now that Phil’s tongue was licking along his skin, Dan couldn’t help but imagine something else in Phil’s mouth, and — fuck.

Pulling back off the wedge with a loud pop, Phil smirked at Dan, linking their hands together under the bar. “Let’s go dance.”

“Yeah,” Dan agreed, breathless, carelessly dropping the lime back to the plate and letting Phil tug him along. Together, they weaved through the aisles of sofas to the steep staircase leading to the mystery basement.

When they reached the stairs, Phil dropped Dan’s hand, opting to grab the handrail instead. Rightfully so, too. The steps were steep and winding, and Dan was sure that even Sober Him would struggle. Dan followed, holding tight to the railing and sticking close to Phil.

Less than halfway down, the twisting was already fucking with Dan’s drunken head, nearly making him stumble and fall. Luckily, the staircase was narrow and Phil was directly in front of him, so Dan was able to catch himself before he tumbled out of control.

After what seemed like forever, they rounded the last twist and the stairs opened up to a packed dance floor. The music was a million times louder down here, the lights flashing and moving, subtle fog machines trying to make the whole place scream sexy. Everywhere Dan looked, there were men dancing, grinding, kissing. It was the kind of place he hadn’t gotten to indulge in since his late teens, and he was suddenly incredibly eager to embrace the atmosphere.

Stepping around Phil, Dan grabbed Phil by the hand and drug him out to the dance floor. They weaved passed couple after couple until they were packed into the middle of the crowd, disappearing into plain sight thanks to the drunk dancers surrounding them.

Dan spun around to face Phil, alcohol causing the world to blur around the edges. It took a second for Dan’s eyes to focus again, and when they did, he realized that Phil was blatantly checking him out. The way Phil was looking at him, with wide pupils and parted lips, made Dan feel like the sexiest guy in the room — maybe even in all of New York.

“C’mere,” Phil demanded, nearly shouting to be heard over the music. His message was clear though; there was no mistaking what Phil wanted when he grabbed Dan’s hips and pulled him in close. Dan stumbled forward willingly, and he had a feeling he’d walk straight across the threshold to hell if Phil guided him. On instinct, Dan wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck; they were close — so, so close. Their chests were just centimeters apart, their hands spread wide like they were trying to touch as much of each other as they could. Together, they started to move in time to the thumping bass of the music.

Dan giggled, drunk and horny and maybe just a little bit slap-happy.

What? Phil mouthed with furrowed brows and an amused smile.

Dan smiled and stepped closer so he could try to explain; their chests were touching now and Dan could feel Phil dancing. Dan leaned in so that he could yell directly into Phil’s ear. “I feel like I’m back at my year eight dance.” Dan tugged on the hair at the nape of Phil’s neck and pointedly wiggled his hips, hoping Phil would telepathically understand Dan’s logic.

Phil laughed, loud and shameless, with his tongue poking out and his eyes nearly closed. He looked happy and gorgeous and Dan’s heart was beating in a way that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with the minute amount of physical exercise.

Smile still plastered on his face, Phil pulled Dan impossibly closer, causing their hips to crash together, and god Dan loved how their hips felt when they were pressed together. He could have sworn he could feel the outline of Phil’s cock, and it only made him more excited for later.

“Only if you got kicked out,” Phil teased, his hands dropping down to Dan’s arse and squeezing, as if to prove his point. And yeah, that move was definitely forbidden back in year eight. Maybe it was a good thing too, because thirteen-year-old Dan might’ve fucking cum in his pants if someone did that to him then. Fucking hell, twenty-three-year-old Dan was on the verge of doing so, maybe the club should be a little more regulated.

Maybe a touch too late, Dan vehemently shook his head — grinding at dances wasn’t even remotely his life at thirteen. At thirteen, Dan was sexually confused and his only quality friendship was Louise. (Although, four years later, Dan was much less confused and was actively looking for just about anyone who would pop his cherry.)

Now, though, Dan was entirely comfortable with his sexual preferences, even if he did waiver between labels from time to time. At the very least, Dan could say with complete confidence that he was fucking attracted to the man in front of him, and he was fucking hot for the fact that they were surrounded by other gay couples.

And now that Phil’s hands were on his arse, pulling him closer so that their hips, their cocks, rubbed together, Dan couldn’t think about anything else.

So Dan let go. He let the champagne and the whiskey and the tequila take over, let his inhibitions fade away. The music was so loud that Dan could feel it in his soul, the remixed-nineties music just familiar enough to make Dan feel like he knew what he was doing, the added beats just fast enough to make him feel sexy. Hands still tangled around Phil’s neck, Dan pushed his hips forward and rocked them against Phi’s.

His hips moved on their own accord, swaying and grinding and moving in time with the music. Phil moved with him, their crotches rubbing together over and over as remixed versions of TLC, Christina Aguilera, and Destiny’s Child pulsed around them. It was hot, god it was hot. The dance floor was so packed, so anonymous, and Dan couldn’t hold back from closing the fucking microscopic amount of distance between them, kissing Phil over and over again as the night grew later and later.

At some point, Phil twisted Dan around. It came almost out of nowhere — one minute they were grinding together, and the next, Phil was manhandling Dan, shifting their positions so that Phil’s semi-hard cock was rubbing against Dan’s arse, and fucking hell that was hot. Some bassed-up version of Baby Got Back was playing, so loud that the song was almost all-consuming. The sober recesses of Dan’s mind tried to remind him of that scene from Friends, the one where Ross and Rachel sang this to their infant and offended each other, but the drunk and horny parts of Dan were far too focused on the way Phil was grinding into his arse, the way Phil’s hands were sliding further and further down his hips, to properly process anything about the music. Phil rubbed his hands over and over the front of Dan’s hips, pulling him closer and grazing his cock with every pass. Moaning, Dan let his head fall back onto Phil’s shoulder, and Phil’s neck was right there, so of course Dan mouthed along it. The music was too loud to hear much of anything over it, but Dan could feel Phil’s throat vibrate with a moan, could feel Phil’s fingers dig into his hips the slightest bit harder. They were touching everywhere, flushed together from head to toe and Phil felt like Dan’s whole world tonight.

Dan rocked his hips back, soaking up the heady sensation of Phil’s cock rubbing against him, feeling more and more intoxicated off lust than alcohol by the second. Trying not to overthink it, Dan reached behind himself and wrapped his arm around Phil’s neck, his fingers tangling in the short hair at the back of Phil’s head.

The breath was nearly knocked out of Dan when Phil pushed up Dan’s short shirtsleeve with his mouth, and kissed along his inner bicep as he drug his lips up Dan’s arm. Fucking hell, Dan was definitely about to combust and cum on the spot if Phil kept doing that. Phil’s lips latched onto Dan’s arm, sucking and surely leaving a mark and fuck Dan had never been so glad to have worn a short sleeve shirt as he was right now.

Once again, the music shifted, and the iconic first notes of Britney rung out. Within seconds, Dan recognized the song, and given how Phil’s fingers tightened on his hips, he reckoned Phil did, too. And god, he wanted to look at Phil while they danced to this.

Dan tried to twist around, and Phil’s grip loosened just enough to let him move, his fingers dragging deliciously over Dan’s skin as he turned. They readjusted quickly, Dan’s arms wrapping around Phil’s neck and Phil’s hands lowering to grope Dan’s arse.

“Baby, can’t you see,” Dan murmured huskily into Phil’s ear, his tongue darting out to lick Phil’s earlobe. Slowly, sensually, Dan slipped his arms from Phil’s neck and dragged his hands across Phil’s chest. He moved slowly, his fingernails raking across Phil’s shirt, pausing to rub at Phil’s nipples.

“Jesus, babe,” Phil mumbled, the words barely more than a strangled groan. The fingers on Dan’s arse tightened, forcefully pulling until Dan’s hips were grinding against Phil’s. Their cocks rubbed together, and Dan rocked his hips again, desperate to feel and feel and feel.

Phil was half hard, and so was Dan, and the friction was amazing. Pleasure shot through Dan, his cock twitching and a quiet moan tumbling from his lips. Dan couldn’t resist tangling his fingers in Phil’s hair, dragging him just the slightest bit closer, not that there was really much distance left between them.

The music continued to pound around them, and Dan continued to rock his hips forward in time with the beat. He wanted so much, and the grinding was just a small tease. Through the fabric, Dan could feel Phil growing harder and harder, making Dan want more. Heat and desire and lust were building in the pit of Dan’s stomach, and he just fucking wanted.

He wanted to taste Phil’s cock in his mouth. He wanted to feel Phil’s bare cock throbbing against his own. He wanted to be stretched around Phil, full and satisfied.

This song — this song out of all the late-nineties and early-two-thousands songs — fucking got to Dan. And he didn’t think it was fully his fault, it wasn’t like he had a thing for it three months ago. But then, one of the earliest videos he’d watched on AmazingPhil was Phil dancing half naked to this song — there was really no coming back from that.

Dan kissed up Phil’s neck, coming to a stop just a short centimeter from Phil’s ear. “Ya know,” he started huskily. He could feel Phil’s fingers dig into his arse, could see how Phil’s breath hitched. Mischievously, Dan continued, “I jacked off to this video.”

The effect was immediate — Phil froze and inhaled so sharply that Dan could actually hear the gasp over the music. For a second, the world was frozen; it was just Dan staring at Phil, a smug smirk on his face, and Phil staring back, shocked and wide-eyed.

And then Phil’s lips crashed onto Dan’s, moving insistently, hotly, and the world was moving again.

The kiss was merciless, Phil’s tongue immediately licking at Dan’s lips and demanding entrance — not that Dan was complaining. He opened his mouth and let Phil in, let Phil ravage him. Phil’s hands disappeared from Dan’s arse, only to land on his cheeks, firmly holding his head in place so Phil could kiss him harder.

There was no air in Dan’s lungs, and he didn’t give a single fuck. The shortness of breath only made everything hotter, and jesus that was a kink Dan didn’t think he had, but then again, he might find any kink hot if it was with Phil. Phil was so in control, so hungry, so domineering, and Dan couldn’t get enough of it.

Phil pulled back without warning, leaving Dan a panting mess. They were so, so close, and Phil’s eyes were nothing but black pupils. He looked ready to fucking devour Dan, and Dan really hadn’t expected this strong of a response but he was living for it. It was making him feel wanted and sexy.

“We’re going,” Phil snapped, his hands roughly unwinding Dan’s arms from his neck. “Right. Fucking. Now.”

Phil’s words were sharp, making it clear that this wasn’t a request. He sounded like he was on the verge of losing control, looked like he might shove Dan against the nearest wall, and take him right then and there.

Their fingers tangled together and Phil spun around, dragging Dan behind him as he pushed his way through the dancing crowd. It was a good thing Phil was holding Dan so tightly, because he was moving so fast that Dan might have gotten lost if their hands got separated.

Phil didn’t stop moving until they’d made it up the stairs, all the way past the sofas and down the hallway. They came to an abrupt halt in front of the coat check window and — shit, right. Their jackets.

Dan dug through his pockets, searching for the tiny ticket that he’d shoved somewhere. Phil’s heavy stare wasn’t helping, only making him feel more flustered and rushed and desperate to get the fuck out of there already.

“Dan,” Phil said, a hint of reprimand and urgency in his voice that spurred Dan to move faster. His fingers finally closed around the small slip, and he wrangled it out, holding it up triumphantly. Phil ripped the ticket out of Dan’s hand, his only response a single approving nod. Phil slammed it down on the counter, his eyes never once drifting from Dan’s.

The coat check worker chuckled — it was probably perfectly clear what was going on. But even that wasn’t enough to drag Phil’s eyes away from Dan. Dan swallowed thickly, his mouth dry, as he held Phil’s gaze. He couldn’t fucking think with Phil looking at him like that. Struck dumb, Dan licked his lips as he waited to see what would happen next.

Phil’s grip was still tight, and he tugged on Dan’s hand. Drunk and caught off guard, Dan stumbled forward, colliding with Phil.

“You’re so sexy,” Phil whispered, just barely loud enough to be heard. “I can’t wait t’fuck you.”

Dan whimpered, fucking whimpered. Phil was so much filthier than his new videos made him seem, he was dirty in all the right ways. Although, looking back, Dan could see some of this Phil in the much younger Phil that had filmed the Toxic video.

The rustling of their jackets hitting the counter jolted Dan and Phil out of their bubble. Both of their heads snapped to face the window, and Dan could tell his cheeks were probably flushed red. He’d forgotten that there was someone else nearby, that someone else was probably paying proper attention to them.

Phil reached out to pull the bundle of clothes closer, clearly avoiding looking at the coat check person. “Put this on s’we can leave,” Phil ordered, shoving Dan’s leather jacket into his chest.

Dan didn’t need telling twice; he sprung into action and clumsily shrugged into his jacket, his hands getting caught several times. At this point, he wasn’t sure if it was thanks to the alcohol or lust, but he didn’t care.

Phil slapped a few bills on the counter and grabbed his own coat.

“Thanks boys,” the clerk said cheerfully. “Have a good night! Don’t forget protection!”

Oh god. Dan felt his cheeks grow hot. He didn’t mind people noticing him and Phil were itching to fuck, but christ, he really didn’t expect a random stranger to actually say it.

Phil grumbled something in response, something Dan didn’t quite hear or process, and guided Dan back down the hallway, one hand firmly pressed against Dan’s lower back.

Hot breath washed over Dan’s ear, and he belatedly realized that Phil was close. “I really don’t wanna use a condom,” Phil muttered into his ear. Dan’s breath hitched, and Phil’s fingers curled around to his sides, not giving him a chance to recover before continuing. “Wanna feel you ‘n fill you up.”

“Fuck,” Dan huffed, his mind not able to think about anything other than Phil’s bare cock pressed into him, pumping cum deep into his arse. “Yeah, please. ‘M clean.”

“Good,” Phil said with a note of finality. He opened the club door and ushered Dan through it. Dan stopped just outside the entrance, hovering and waiting for direction from Phil. Phil stood close, head bowed as he tapped on his phone. Dan looked around them, realizing that there was a line now, and the asshole bouncer from earlier was gone. Must have been after one, then.

“Ugh,” Phil groaned. “There’s a twen’y minute wait for’n uber.”

God that was so much longer than Dan wanted to wait. Brows furrowed, Dan glanced up at the street sign.

“We’re only like seven blocks from the hotel, w’can walk faster,” Dan pointed out.

“How’dya know that?” Phil asked, head snapping up, looking surprised.

Dan pointed to the numbered street sign. “Grid system. Let’s go,” Dan suggested, nodding his head in the right direction.

“Perfect,” Phil mumbled. He grabbed Dan’s hand and started walking. His pace wasn’t quite as fast as earlier, something Dan was rather grateful for. He didn’t think he could walk that quickly for seven blocks and not be too out of breath for sex.

The first block, Phil was still walking faster than normal, though. It wasn’t until they reached the first crosswalk and were forced to stop that they both breathed. The break calmed some of the out-of-control desire coursing through Dan’s veins, dulling it down to a pulsing lust. Dan turned to look at Phil, his eyes surely full of fond desire, a smile definitely pulling at his lips.

Phil bounced on his toes for a second, his movements slowing down when the light didn’t immediately change. Phil glanced at Dan, his heady expression melting slightly into something a bit softer, a bit more gentle. The passion and want were still there, but now there was something else, something sweeter, there too.

Now that they were out of the club, free from the throbbing bass of the music and away from the grinding couples, Dan’s mind felt a little clearer. It was chilly out, not quite cold but definitely cool enough that Dan felt justified leaning into Phil a bit, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder and sticking close. Phil smiled down at him fondly as Dan looked up at him through his lashes. The world around seemed to fade away, and there were butterflies fluttering in Dan’s stomach and god how was Phil so sexy and dominate and sweet all in the span of five minutes, this had to be illegal.

Dan’s eyes snapped away when the crosswalk chimed, and suddenly they were walking again. They weren’t the only ones out — if anything, there seemed to be more people on the streets now. As they made their way back to their hotel, they passed club after club, bar after bar, all with lines of drunk twenty-somethings.

Some sober, less reckless part of Dan warned him that all the people meant a higher chance of getting recognized, but he just didn’t care. He wasn’t about to stop and talk to a fan right now. It was Friday night, and the whole city seemed to be intoxicated, and Dan would just have to hope that everyone else was too drunk to notice him.

They came to stop at another intersection, just barely missing the chance to cross. Dan glanced around, taking in the city surrounding them. There was a group of girls nearby, smoking and drinking something out of brown paper bags. There were a few people outside a pizza place, drunkenly eating slices of pizza off white paper plates as they sat on the curb. There was a couple across the way, fighting loudly about something Dan couldn’t make out.

It was late and crowded and everyone was too focused on themselves to take note of anyone else. It was the kind of crowd that made everyone anonymous. The neon city lights were blurry, and made it hard to see the details of anything — although maybe that part was just Dan.

Regardless, he didn't care.

Phil was so close, so warm by Dan’s side and Dan just wanted more.

“Kiss me,” Dan asked, nearly begged, as he looked back at Phil. His voice was high and nearly breathless, so affected that he probably would have been embarrassed by how fucking needy he sounded if the situation had been different. But as it was, this was Phil, Phil who seemed to instinctively understand every single desire Dan had.

Phil smiled at Dan softly, turning so they were face to face. Without hesitation, Phil closed the distance between them, doing as Dan asked. Phil kissed him slowly but thoroughly, his lips moving languidly, his tongue slipping between Dan’s teeth and licking along the roof of his mouth.

“Mmm,” Dan hummed into Phil’s mouth as he wrapped his arms around Phil’s neck, his elbows resting on Phil’s shoulders, wrists crossed behind his head.

Phil’s lips twitched into the ghost of a smile, but he kept kissing, his arms wrapping around Dan’s waist and pulling him closer.

It was hot — kissing Phil would always be hot — but it was also sweet and maybe even a little romantic. Dan had never kissed someone on the street until Isabella, and in hindsight, everything about those kisses had been for the wrong reasons. This kiss, right now with Phil, wasn’t for pizza eaters or smokers or fighters. This kiss had nothing to do with the audience, and everything to do with the fact that Dan was so fucking head over heels for Phil that Dan couldn’t couldn’t resist kissing him for the two minutes it took for the crosswalk light to change.

At some point, Louise had told him that all of this was so much better when you loved someone, and Dan was realizing how right she was because just kissing had never been this good.

Love.

The word crashed over Dan, suddenly the only thing he could think as he drunkenly kissed his boyfriend in the middle of New York City at two in the morning.

Dan loved Phil.

Dan was one hundred percent, completely and totally in love with the boy kissing him.

Gasping, Dan pulled back from the kiss, his eyes flying open.

“What?” Phil asked breathlessly, a note of urgency in his voice.

“I — nothing.” Dan swallowed thickly, there was no way he could say what he was thinking. Not now, not already. His gaze drifted over Phil’s shoulder and caught on the signal, which was now showing a white walking man. “We can cross now.”

Dan hoped his voice was steady, hoped it wasn’t obvious that his mind was somewhere, but he was pretty sure he wasn’t very subtle. If Phil noticed, though, he didn’t say anything. He just followed Dan into the street, one arm still wrapped around his waist, holding Dan close as they continued walking. Dan leaned into Phil’s side, stumbling slightly and focusing entirely too much on the way Phil’s fingers had dipped under his shirt and were thumbing over his side, and not nearly enough of the sidewalk.

Yeah, Dan was definitely in love with him.

[hillonphotography]

On Landscape Interview 2019

By Paul Hill & Tim Parkin | Posted November 12, 2019 

For the Meeting of Minds conference last year, we printed off a picture for Paul Hill, but sadly it didn't arrive in time for the exhibition. Paul asked us to donate it to the Stills Gallery in Edinburgh. Whilst dropping it off, we had a quick chat with Paul and his partner, Maria Falconer, about art and contemporary photography and some of the subjects he's approaching in his rewrite of "Approaching Photography".

https://youtu.be/yt3_nmt-LfI

Tim Parkin (TP): I wanted to talk about this possible disparity between what could be called your typical ‘hobby’ practitioner of photography and the more academic/contemporary side of photography (pictorial, romantic vs ‘new’ ways of looking at photography). I was wondering if you still see this dichotomy in photography? Or do we get hobbyists transcending the pictorial or contemporary/fine art/academic photographers embracing a bit of beauty now and again?

Paul Hill (PH): There is definitely a cross over, and there always will be. It’s a personal problem for me, actually sticking to one subject matter. I think it just negates so many possibilities for making interesting pictures or stretching yourself as a photographer. You can end up essentially illustrating your hobby or your interests which makes it very difficult to change tack or make quantum leaps. In workshops, we come across a lot of people who you would say are mainstream hobbyists but they take on board and embrace the more challenging ideas that we talk about. I think they haven’t previously, largely because they haven’t had an art or photographic education, and so to be put in these situations is unique for them. It’s the first time and a lot of them really take to it. Because it’s new, it’s different.

TP: Is it essentially a lack of exposure and a lack of knowledge? So, are they essentially receiving mixed messages from the vernacular use of landscape?

PH: What I was trying to say in the talk at the Meeting of Minds conference was, why are you here, why are you doing it? Are you aware of all the possibilities that are there to explore? Express something that might be your own involvement rather than looking at templates and matrices. These templates have been provided by talented people who found their own way there and were innovative for their time or expressed something which was more than just the information that’s in front of them when they photograph. Photography appears very easy but the more you get into it is a lot more complicated, or at least it can be. Essentially, on a surface level, you can make a picture quite easily.

EXPRESS SOMETHING THAT MIGHT BE YOUR OWN INVOLVEMENT RATHER THAN LOOKING AT TEMPLATES AND MATRICES. THESE TEMPLATES HAVE BEEN PROVIDED BY TALENTED PEOPLE WHO FOUND THEIR OWN WAY THERE AND WERE INNOVATIVE FOR THEIR TIME OR EXPRESSED SOMETHING WHICH WAS MORE THAN JUST THE INFORMATION THAT’S IN FRONT OF THEM WHEN THEY PHOTOGRAPH.

I put the picture of a butterfly made by my iPhone on Facebook the other day. You may have seen it, Tim. I saw these butterflies which were tortoiseshells and painted ladies, down this footpath. So, I tried to get close with the iPhone and I did and I got them. The results are absolutely stunning. You would not even be able to get that quality if you used a macro and a flash. A normal lens would not be able to have done it because of the minimum focusing distance, so you wouldn’t be able to get close enough, and all the rest of it. I’m writing a new edition of my book “Approaching Photography” and I’m using this example of how photography has moved on since 1982 when the first edition came out.

TP: But the modern camera takes it all away doesn’t it?

PH: What I’m saying is, that is the difference between now and then. It’s become relatively easy to make an image nowadays and at the end of the day, that’s what it’s about. If we know we can do that, without too much hassle, we know how to drive the machine, then we can go on to try to explore ideas with that new skill that you have now acquired. These skills aren’t at a high level it has to be said. Nothing like comparing yourself with a concert pianist, for instance.

YOU’VE GOT THIS WONDERFUL MACHINE TO RECORD THAT AND TELL YOU THE STORY THAT YOU WANT TO, WHICH IS IMPORTANT AS AN INDIVIDUAL BECAUSE WE ARE ALL UNIQUE, AND WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN STORIES, AND HISTORIES.

However, that ease releases you to say anything you want and visually deal with any sort of subject matter, in all sorts of different places, and different areas - intellectually or physically - that you want to. You’ve got this wonderful machine to record that and tell you the story that you want to, which is important as an individual because we are all unique, and we all have our own stories, and histories. That's what I’m interested in - other people’s photographs and stories. I don’t want to see a style that may look great but is repeated and repeated. Whether it’s down in Lands End or John O’Groats, I’ve seen those pictures, everyone has seen those pictures, and that’s fine. There’s a market for people who want to buy those or use them as illustrations. But they are not very individual or original.

I’ve done quite a bit of writing for photographic magazines - and known quite a few editors over the years - and one should never forget that these are mostly all consumer magazines. They don’t exist unless they sell advertising and they also sell a lifestyle. And the market for cameras is now the amateur one. That’s why the emphasis is on the amateurs and on high spec gear, that’s what they are trying to sell. They wouldn’t be doing themselves any favours if they said “it isn’t about the camera gear, it’s about what you do with it,'' they would lose advertisers and go bust. It’s a perfect capitalist model at the end of the day. Persuade the readers that it’s the machine. ‘You’ve got a great camera there, it must take some great pictures’

TP: Do you think academic/contemporary photography avoids certain subjects, aesthetics and ideas? Because they have become mainstream? (i.e. beauty, popular composition memes)

PH: There’s one thing Martin Parr and I have in common that is that we’re populists and a bit suspicious of too much academisation in photography. I think that the problem is with a lot of conceptual work, to use that as an example, is that you have to have a certain sort of education not only to produce it but also to understand it. Many times, the idea may have been great, but the visual representation of that idea is not very engaging. It’s using photography and the camera in a different sort of way; you’re not trying to tell a story by using visual language.

Like other experiments, these movements come in like blue sky thinking in science. People are going to explore new concepts, and even I have pushed the boat out a few times with what I’ve done. I’ve done some more conceptual pieces that are more about ideas. But if the images are not visually interesting or stimulating then I think it’s a case of throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

TP: I’ve heard this said repeatedly by a few contemporary photographers, that they avoid the use of playing with aesthetic perspectives because the effect gets in the way of what they are trying to say.

PH: Absolutely, but there is a wonderfully wide range available to us of how we use and think about photography. That’s what I was trying to say at the conference, just think about photography. Don’t necessarily think about the landscape, seascape, or the adventure. That’s all part of it but more importantly, just be aware that there are other options open to you to engage with that may relate to that location or that space.

I can understand the satisfaction of producing these wonderful photographs of waterfalls and streams etc, but It’s a bit like painting by numbers. There’s nothing essentially wrong with that, but what you tend to get is another lot of the same pictures. What you really need, to use a cliched photographic word, is exposure to other ideas. That’s why we don’t compromise on the workshops we do. We know that it’s a niche area but there are people out there who want, and respond well to, that exposure to new ideas because what that does is bring photography back to them. They are in control and not being measured by what other people can do better with their new Canon XYZ or whatever it is. They can use whatever they want photographically but try to make something that is unique.

That’s what interests me, what’s new and different, and that goes through into my photography. I’m not saying that what I’ve produced is a unique photograph or history changing, of course, it isn’t! But all of the things I’ve tried to be involved with, I have always tried to look at how it can be done from a different perspective. Because it’s boring to follow what other people have done.

BUT ALL OF THE THINGS I’VE TRIED TO BE INVOLVED WITH, I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO LOOK AT HOW IT CAN BE DONE FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE. BECAUSE IT’S BORING TO FOLLOW WHAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE.

Photo enthusiasts are always being told to be creative but most people seem to think that means photoshop. When we started the RPS Contemporary Group - I was the first group and panel chairman - there were these people that said: “How do you define contemporary?” This does sound very condescending, but if you have to explain what contemporary is, go and join another group. But you can’t be like that as there are people who are open to the ideas and at the end of the day, it’s just semantics.

Our first option was that it was about contemporary life and thought, but that doesn’t really work either. But since then they’ve tried to find all sorts of definitions. If you look at the RPS definition, it’s a bit of a dog's dinner. Distinction panels should really be defined as either applied, academic (history, research etc), scientific or art? If you try to slice it into too many compartments it confuses people. It means that the compartmentalisation is increased, rather than the idea that we’re all in the same pool but swimming with slightly different strokes.

TP: How do you present these ideas to your audience?

PH: If you’re bringing a fresh set of ideas to people who haven’t come across them before, you have to take on board the audience and take them on a journey. We talk about what we do and it’s obvious that some of them haven’t seen work like this and would not see, in some instances, the merit of it.

They might see some merit in my picture of Enoch Powell, and they get that and it’s funny, or Maria’s dance pictures, or something like that. But when we are dealing with that which is a bit more personal, they would say “I can’t see why you’d want to photograph that”, then you have to get over that it is not actually about that object, it’s about an idea. You can talk up a set of pictures and talk the talk, but sometimes you have to walk the walk. And if it needs a lot of explanation, I get worried. Personally, I give a way marker to my work, by way of a small written or verbal introduction to whatever piece I’m doing.

TP: A hint on how to read it?

PH: Yes, this is who I am, this is what I do, without a lot of detail. For someone who talks about photography and writes about photography, I think there is such a thing as a visual language. I want to give that language a chance.

I was talking at the conference about the “one picture tells everything” - why should we take that on board, why should we follow that particular route still? Like the landscape aesthetic that was set up in the 19th century - there are so many other opportunities. If people see more work by people like Robert Adams, Simon Norfolk, Jem Southam and John Blakemore, they are going to see why John is photographing dead tulips? Not 'aren’t these beautifully crafted prints'. The print becomes the experience and the vehicle for an idea.

FOR SOMEONE WHO TALKS ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY AND WRITES ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY, I THINK THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A VISUAL LANGUAGE. I WANT TO GIVE THAT LANGUAGE A CHANCE..

TP: I think people have a problem in seeing contemporary/project work as a group of single images when in fact they can’t really be separated and retain their meaning.

PH: This is the problem I’m having to face as I’m basically selecting single images to illustrate a point I’m making in my book. When I’m talking about photo essays and about projects, I’ll have a matrix of images to give the idea of a body of work. But it is difficult when you’ve got to be restricted to a certain size. You have to really say the work is the book, not this one picture. There are so few opportunities to fully explore an idea, with a narrative really; but more photography books are being published than ever and with the internet, we can present these ideas using multimedia tools.

TP: So, could one of the differences between a hobbyist photographer and a contemporary art photographer be the use of single image vs the collection of images?

PH: I think that’s true. When we get people on workshops that is the one thing that is the revelation to them - you are telling them that their idea can be expanded. You can say more with the sum of the parts as it were.

Maria Falconer (MF): The idea that we can deconstruct images and they might have never really come across that idea and then they realise that it’s layered. In the same way that a whole series of images brings meaning through the different parts. That can be revelatory to them. If they’ve done anything before, they have deconstructed in a formalistic way, for example by sharpness and saturation - but not meaning. It’s the meaning in a symbolic fashion.

PH: To get back to what we were saying about why people do landscape and approach it in a particularly repetitive way. Maria is a good example of this, having come from a background of mostly photographing people and dancers. The expression Maria uses is that it is very difficult to put a frame on a landscape.

TP: Landscape doesn’t essentially have any narrative associated with it directly so you can’t frame a narrative-less landscape.

MF: I know what you mean. It’s not that I’m looking for a narrative, I just can’t put a frame around any part of it. I’ve tried so many times and I’ve come to the conclusion that is just not how I see. I love looking, I love running about, I love climbing and hiking, I just cannot frame it.

PH: After moving to the Peak District in 1974 I used the landscape as a backdrop to human forms in a project I called "Prenotations". But I realised a few things when creating “White Peak, Dark Peak”. As a resident of the area, I would go out and photograph around where I lived - a 2 mile radius to start with (and later I expanded it further). I did this as an exercise. It was in black and white using mostly flat lighting. What I realised when I got into certain interesting situations was that for whatever reason (I had a 35mm lens on my Leica) it wasn’t conforming to what I wanted. So it forced me to think about the foreground more.

I was having to think about things which I would not necessarily normally put in the picture. I found that I was looking down at what you walk on and the landscape became not the conjunction of the horizon and the sky but about the marks on the land. I am fascinated by the two-dimensionality of a photograph and how the horizontal perspective can 'flip' and can become vertical and this became a noticeable feature of "White Peak Dark Peak".

TP: That’s a nice way to think about equipment isn’t it. Most people think about equipment as “I want it to do everything. I want a system that can do everything for me”. Instead of that, let the camera be a limiting factor.

PH: That's the discipline. We do an exercise about going out with a particular focal length. I remember working as a photojournalist and on a slow news day, a colleague and myself said next time we go out we’ll just use a 28mm or a 180mm and do the job with that and see it as a challenge!

It’s that’s sort of exposure to those ideas that we are talking about. Some people are going to think, “but I’m quite happy with doing this and it conforms to what I like and it gives me pleasure”.

There was this one guy on a workshop who had a high powered job intellectually, something scientific. We have these little exercises we make people do, and a lot of people took to them really well but this one guy just couldn’t do them. People who knew him said perhaps you should have a chat with him. He said, “I never take photographs I don’t like”. Intellectually he was programmed toward perfection and we were saying “throw all that out!”. In the end, he did get it and produced some great pictures.

So sometimes you get these people who are incredibly bright, but you’ve got to get them to loosen up; and that is more difficult for somebody who’s a really keen amateur but has been, say a lorry driver all their life.

I do a talk called Moments of Recognition, which is taken from a quote by Edward Weston. There’s that idea in Zen in the Art of Archery, where you’re actually seeing beyond the target. You need to hit the target, but not look at it. I think that there is an element of Zen at that moment where you are able to put a frame on things. If you release yourself to what you viscerally are responding to, and then take a picture. There’s no way you can analyse that process. To do that is what you should try and aim to do as it opens you to seeing photographs everywhere.

I don’t believe success comes with hard work but with persistence. Persistence is hanging around long enough to know that there’s something there. Hanging around long enough knowing when the window of opportunity comes along. The difficulty with the Zen thing is that people don’t recognise when the window of opportunity is there. If you’ve been a press photographer you know, it’s when someone slips on a banana skin.

People will snap, snap getting pictures which are boring but hoping something will happen. When you see that moment you have recognised and produced this unique piece of information, data, art, whatever you want to call it, it’s got to be something that no-one else has done. That moment of time will never be repeated and that is wonderful to be able to do that. That’s what I think is very important to do - be original - because photographers are seen very much to be down the pecking order. I’m sure you’ve found that.

THAT MOMENT OF TIME WILL NEVER BE REPEATED AND THAT IS WONDERFUL TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. THAT’S WHAT I THINK IS VERY IMPORTANT TO DO - BE ORIGINAL - BECAUSE PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE SEEN VERY MUCH TO BE DOWN THE PECKING ORDER. I’M SURE YOU’VE FOUND THAT.

TP: I’ve got a friend who’s had a successful painting career in Germany and he decided he was going to be a photographer. Everybody told him he was committing suicide commercially and artistically. He agreed completely but still did it.

PH: When we began our pioneering work in photo education and the Arts Council etc. in the 70s, we started from different points of view, and were very different individuals trying to elevate the status of photography so that it was taken seriously. In terms of sales, photographs will never be in the same league as paintings.

TP: That’s my last question, which was if one of the photographers that we speak to for instance who’s a member at a camera club and says I don’t understand it, as I look at some of these high end valued pictures and I don’t understand why they are worth so much money such as the Gursky Rhine image.

PH: Well neither do we!

TP: Is this the curse of people trading/investing in art?

PH: As a professional photographer and having earned my living out of photography one way or another since 1965, I can say it puzzles me. It's not professional jealousy, as I don’t want to take pictures like him, but it's a bit of a mystery.

I’ve found going my own way has not necessarily made me much money but the pictures that I made that people thought were a bit odd 40 years ago are now in major collections. I’ve followed my nose and it’s worked!

I’ve made a reasonable living and despite the shite, you have to deal at times, it's been wonderful and extraordinary. I had a chat once with Geoff Crawley from BJP, who came from a science background, and he said, “you’re a freelance aren’t you?” and I said "yes". He said, “I’m always interested in people who freelance and you know I think freelancing is more a lifestyle choice”. He'd worked for Ilford and been a company man and he’d never been a freelancer. He said he didn’t know if he could make such a lifestyle choice. I thought he’s right you know. Life is about making those sort of choices and, for me, the decision about freelancing was about being free.