#almost all the movie is problematic now but i remember watching this scene when I was young

[pretendfan]

{{{Time of the Month}}}

WARNING 18+ ONLY {minors DNI}

(A/N OK, so I wrote this for when I’m feeling horny/ on my period future me will thank me a LOT🤣 so I started writing and it escalated, it’s cute, funny and has a steamy helping of smut (period sex🩸) to finish! Can’t decide what Adrian gif to use, we all know how HOT he is in this scene💦)

(Pairing)

Adrian Chase x F! Reader

(Summary)

The arrival of your period has you in a very bad mood to say the least, that is until your amazing boyfriend Adrian knows exactly what to do to make you feel better.

{it’s a period sex fic}

(Words)

5k+

(Warnings)

Period sex, oral sex (female receiving), Vaginal fingering, mentions of periods and cramps, bad jokes, Adrian chase gets it done, reader knows Adrian is Vij, established relationship cuteness…WARNING 18+ ONLY {minors DNI}

“I’ve had the time of my life..”

Having seen this film countless times whilst being fully aware of the problematic story line you couldn’t help but happy cry every single time that Johnny saved Baby from the fate of her being put in the corner.

Grabbing a tissue you wipe the tears away from your eyes which were probably bloodshot but you didn’t care because you were sulking.

Today was the first day of your period and you needed sugary sweets followed by any film you knew that made you cry, wallowing in your own self pity whilst taking painkillers for the cramps which were currently trying to rip you apart.

You knew your boyfriend Adrian was finishing work soon so you would have to call time on rewatching Dirty Dancing on repeat in favour of hiding in your bedroom or in the bath until your mood improved.

Of course you loved Adrian, every single little thing about him you adored but with the mood you were currently in you needed to be alone even though he wouldn’t understand that.

You suffered with heavy cramping that felt like someone was slicing you from the inside, which did nothing to help your headache or the inane urgency to either bite someone’s head off or burst into tears almost at will.

Once the credits rolled on the film you instinctively grabbed the remote and put it back to the beginning, one more time wouldn’t hurt, it was cathartic.

Pulling your hood over your head you try to hide under it as you hug yourself to your knees focusing instead on the opening of the film, then remembering how deeply annoying Baby’s older sister was in this, to finally recognising the mom from somewhere but you couldn’t figure out what show it was from.

You are pulled away from your thoughts when you hear keys in the front door, then seconds later Adrian appears in his Fennel Fields uniform with a brown paper grocery bag under his right arm.

“Ugh, Dirty Dancing?” Scoffs Adrian with a scrunch of his nose aimed in your direction.

“I’m allowed to like this movie-“

“Yeah, but there are so many better films, actually anything is better than this!” Adrian cuts you off with a chuckle as he pulls his work hat from his head, closely followed by the beige apron chucking them both onto the kitchen counter.

“Why do we have to have this argument-“

“It’s a discussion not an argument.” Adrian states watching you carefully as he then asks in a softer tone “So, if you’re sitting there crying over this film for the millionth time am I right in thinking that your period is here?”

“I don’t want to talk about it you don’t understand-“

“Hey! Don’t shut me out.” Adrian tells you walking away from the kitchen counter to bend down on his knees in front of you whilst you try to avoid his green eyes.

“Yes, I am on my period, I’m a mess, been literally sitting here all afternoon-“ You trail off realising suddenly how pathetic you sounded right now.

“Let me look after you.” Adrian states taking one of your hands in his rubbing his thumb in circles against your fingers, it was very distracting.

“I can look after myself.“ You remind him dutifully.

“I know you can!” Adrian cheers with a smile then states “ Baby you are amazing but when you’re feeling low I’m here for you, hell I’m here for you all time but right now in this moment. I want to be here doing all I can to make you happy.”

“I know, thank you.” You tell Adrian with a smile leaning forward to give him a kiss which he happily accepts.

“Let me run you a bubble bath!” Adrian announces, moving his lips from yours as he states this idea with a smile.

“Ok, sure.” You nod not wanting to say no to Adrian when he was trying so hard to think of you and anticipate your needs, it was something you weren't used to courtesy of previous boyfriends but right this second you welcomed it.

Perhaps a soak in the tub would help your mood and the warm water would definitely help your cramps which were relentless right now.

Heading to the bedroom that you shared with Adrian you pull out some pjs from your drawer and grabbing some new underwear you follow the noise of water running in your bathroom, thinking this would be bliss, some more time to collect your thoughts before spending the evening with Adrian.

But when you step into the bathroom you are surprised to see that Adrian has stripped out of his uniform and was standing there in grey fitted boxers, complete with a smile on his face.

“I’m in desperate need of a bath so I thought we could share one, and of course, I would wash your hair and administer cuddles when needed.” Adrian grins like that was the best idea ever, it did sound pretty good but you also wanted to be left alone.

“I kind of wanted-“

“Please let me stay with you!” Adrian cuts you off pleadingly whilst pulling that puppy dog face you knew that you could not resist, he was fully aware of this fact too.

“Ok, fine!” You state with a roll of your eyes that Adrian doesn’t see, he is too busy doing an impromptu happy dance, bouncing on his feet then quickly dropping his boxers, he kicks them off, stepping into the bath. He sits down happily, covering himself in bubbles as he grins back at you.

Your eyes glance over at Adrian who is smiling at you with his boyish grin because he clearly just noticed you checking him out, but could anyone blame you when he looked like that.

Adrian was deceptively tall and slim but underneath his clothes he was all toned muscles and those damn lines below his hips that always invited you to look at them then glance down, it was always torture.

Adrian liked to hit the gym nearby the apartment; this only occurred when he wasn’t working at the restaurant or out late at night serving his own form of justice as Vigilante.

You knew the cute guy in your tub was a killer but he just killed criminals, usually, and as long as he always came home to you then you were almost at peace with what he did.

Spending the littlest amount of time thinking it over, you knew Adrian was Vigilante and that was that, you could never change his mind to stop what he did, it was a part of him.

“You need less clothes to get in the bath, silly.” Adrian informs you bringing you back into the bathroom and finally away from your straying thoughts as ,with a shake of your head, you start to strip.

“Ha ha, super funny Adrian.” You tell him in a deadpan voice which makes him smirk back at you, his green eyes watching you as you pull down your old shorts that you probably looked ridiculous in but during the time of the month were your best friend.

“You’re so hot you're steaming my glasses up!” Adrian laughs as you take off your hoodie and tee shirt underneath to catch the cute smile appearing on his face as he takes off his glasses and places them on the side of the bath.

But you tell Adrian to turn around as you lose your period underwear (no pads or cups needed, what a time to be alive!) and even though you hear him grumble he does as he is told, then seconds later you step into the bath standing between your boyfriend’s legs.

Adrian dutifully moves so his back is now against the bath and you quickly sit down between his legs not too close that you were flush against his back, even though you kind of wished you were.

Dammit, being this close to a naked Adrian and of course on your period, you suddenly felt your pussy muscles throb which was good for your cramps just not your mood which takes an inevitable turn for the sexy.

Being horny on your period was both equal parts frustrating and fun but you also had to be feeling good to participate so one clearly negated the other, it was a bitch to say the least (fuck you Mother Nature!)

Right now you felt bloated, sore and of course horny as hell thanks to being near Adrian who was all lean muscles and cheeky smiles, especially when he had noticed you checking him out earlier.

Feeling Adrian’s warm and wet skin slide against yours as your legs brush against each other it makes you move your ass to get comfortable, which in turn makes Adrian groan, you bite your bottom lip in response from hearing the delightful noise.

“If you keep doing that we might have a problem.” Adrian chuckles as you shake your head but stop when you hear him say “But right now the focus is on you and I’m here, all night long.”

Adrian is true to his word as he washes your hair awkwardly with the shower head but it makes the both of you giggle, you completely forget about feeling shitty even if just for a few minutes.

Next Adrian watches as you wash yourself, noticing him leaning back from you even though his eyes are focused on your soft breasts covered in soapy bubbles.

“Your turn.” You twist around moving your knees up towards Adrian’s chest grabbing the cloth to clean him with but he takes your wrist in his hand pulling you closer as he deepens a kiss into your surprised lips, which once they get the memo seconds later, respond in kind.

Placing a kiss on the seam of your lips Adrian starts to send wet kisses down your neck, which feels really good as your pussy starts to flutter at the idea of this going further, causing a soft hint of a sigh to escape your mouth.

Instinctively you place a hand round the back of Adrian’s neck pulling him closer as he accepts this but when his head dips lower to kiss the top of your breasts  you have to push him away before it gets too much.

“I can’t-“

“We can stop!” Adrian states wrapping his arms around your middle as you turn round to face the taps again, despite your body crying out for more attention suddenly, because that kiss had sparked a flame right to your core leaving you with a thundering dull ache between your legs.

Adrian continues to cuddle you whilst you imagine his hands all over your body, suddenly consumed by the idea of him fucking you senseless, which was a specialty of his because the boy liked to fuck.

But period sex had never come up between you, Adrian usually approached with caution when it was that time of the month, respecting your boundaries and need to eat all of the cookies in the plastic tray, even though you always felt kinda sick afterwards

“Tell me what you're thinking about?” Adrian asks, hugging you tighter around your middle as he leans his firm chest into your back which makes you lick your bottom lip, but telling yourself to get a grip you decide to stand up in the bath instead.

“Or we can get out?” Adrian questions making you look back after literally jumping out of the tub to grab a towel, seeing the hurt look briefly pass across your boyfriends face which makes you feel awful.

“Here.” You hand Adrian a fresh towel from the cupboard under the sink which he accepts but a slow smile spreads across his face when he spots you checking him out, again.

His thick semi hard dick was just begging to be sucked, the very thought making your pussy clench around nothing so you look away before you did something stupid, what if Adrian wasn’t into period sex?

Considering the other things you have done as a couple you smile at that idea plus the fact Adrian was obviously used to blood so it wasn’t that far out there, just you knew from past history that some dudes were grossed out by it.

Adrian silently leaves the bathroom which was very unlike him to be quiet for that long. You just hoped that you hadn’t put him in a bad mood.

Quickly getting dressed into your most comfortable PJ’s which didn’t really excite the imagination, you start to feel conflicted suddenly thanks to being turned on after the bath, but you were also upset at the idea of annoying Adrian.

Hearing the TV on in the bedroom you walk in to see Adrian sitting on the edge of his bed studying something on his phone, he looks sheepishly when he spots you watching him.

“I thought we could watch a movie?” Adrian asks with a quick smile appearing on his face as he adds “But Dirty dancing isn’t allowed.”

“Ok.” You smirk back pretending to look sad which makes Adrian roll his eyes back towards the ceiling.

Not actually wanting to be left alone anymore despite desperately wanting that earlier you quickly dry your hair whilst Adrian looks from the TV, back to you, then back at his phone.

Choosing a mindless comedy to switch your brains off to and styling your medium length hair into a messy bun on top off your head, you finally join Adrian on the bed getting comfortable as you snuggle into your pillow.

As soon as the film starts Adrian begins talking over it, either quoting the scene perfectly or telling you who the actor on screen was even though you hadn’t asked him any questions.

Feeling an impending cramp attack you try to hide your discomfort but when Adrian looks up and spots the face you're pulling he puts his phone down and wraps an arm around your shoulder.

“Are you ok?” Adrian asks with concern in his voice which makes you both melt and feel turned on at the same time, what was wrong with you? Oh yeah, fucking period causing your hormones to rebel at the worse possible time.

You just nod and give up on moving away from Adrian’s body; you lean into him instead and he welcomes his other arm into the cuddle as he embraces you, smelling of fresh soap and his favourite deodorant on his skin as you place a hand on his thigh causing his muscles there to flex.

“I need words you know, baby.” Adrian states as you look away from the TV and he asks “Did the bath help at all?”

You laugh at this question then, noticing the confused look pass across Adrian’s face, you quickly add truthfully “ I think it has made things worse.”

“Really!?” Adrian cries out affronted by the idea which makes you smile at him whilst he looks a little put out.

“I will be ok-“

“Do you still have any cramps?” Adrian cuts you off with a question suddenly, eyes looking directly at you as if he was eager for your response.

“Yes they haven’t disappeared.” You nod in the affirmative still clenching around nothing as the pressure from the period had lit up all your nerve endings making you feel like you wanted to sit on Adrian’s lap and order him to fuck you.

“Well I’ve just read online that orgasms can help relieve cramps.” Adrian elaborates confidently with a nod in your direction.

“No shit!” You joke back with a laugh but stop when you see the eager look on Adrian’s face

“I mean,I could help you with that I would-“

“It would be too messy.” You cut off Adrian then add with a sly grin in his direction  “I usually just spend a few more extra minutes in the shower than normal to help myself out.”

“Damn, that’s hot.” Adrian nods with a wide smile but then states “ But isn’t sex supposed to be messy and you kind of drove me insane back there in the bath, and like I said earlier I am here to please you, in any way.”

“Any way at all?” You ask Adrian in a teasing voice leaning your face up towards him which makes his lip curl up into a smile, dimples framing his cheeks in the process, making you internally swoon at how pretty he was.

“Just let me know what you need.” Adrian replies feeling his warm breath as he rubs his nose against yours whilst inching his soft lips closer but he pulls back before you can meet him halfway.

“I need you to stop teasing me.“ You practically growl at him which makes his face light up with a smile that blinds you temporarily, until you finally add “Just use your hands and mouth to make me come hard.”

“As you wish.” Adrian quotes from your second favourite film of all time (The Princess Bride) which makes you grin as you lean forward aiming a heavy kiss right into his soft lips causing him to groan in response.

Placing a hand on Adrian’s chest you continue to make out with him whilst wrapped in his arms, feeling like there was no better place in the world than right here, but you were still feeling horny and this was just making the dull ache more painful.

Moving your hand up Adrian’s firm chest which felt smooth and delicious you slide your fingers around the back of his neck pulling him closer to you intensifying the kiss as your tongues press together and your grip on his neck gets firmer.

“Are you sure about this-“

“Yes! Just put your hands on me.” You tell Adrian who on cue snakes his hands around your waist as he moves you with ease into his lap your thighs straddling his which usually you loved but right now you felt a little cautious.

“You good?” Adrian asks, catching the look on your face as he moved his back further against the bed frame causing the bulge in his boxers to brush temptingly against your thigh.

“We haven’t done this before on my period and like I said it might get messy.” You tell him with a nod followed by an embarrassed smile.

“Do you really think I give a fuck about that?” Adrian asks in frustration, stating “ As long as you’re comfortable about this, I want to make you feel good, like you said with me using my hands and mouth.”

“I need this so bad-“

“Ok, so let’s make a fucking mess then!” Adrian cheers which makes you laugh but you stop when he moves you off him heading out of the bedroom.

Moments later he returns with dark burgundy towels which were both old and perfect as he grins back then says “Placing these on the bed because it’s time to please my girl.”

Smiling you kick the covers off the bed then watch as Adrian places down the two large towels then placing a hand on your lower back he moves you closer towards him noticing that cheeky glint in his eye that makes you grin back excitedly at him.

“So, where were we?” Adrian asks with a smirk but before you can reply he has moved above you, as you sink your back onto the bed, head on the pillows as your boyfriend looks down hungrily at you.

Seconds later he is kissing you again but then starts tracing his lips down your neck, down your front until he meets your tank top and grabbing onto the bottom he pulls it up as you help remove it over your head.

Adrian glances down at you with large eyes, pupils blown already as he dips his head placing his warm mouth over your soft breast sliding his tongue down to meet your pebbled nipple, the sensation against your skin making you shudder in anticipation.

“Does that feel good?” Adrian asks with a lazy smile whilst all you can do is nod, already lost in the moment, watching as he removes his glasses placing them on the small bedside table.

Adrian carries on teasing you with his mouth going far too slowly you wanted it faster as you tell him “Stop teasing me, normally I like that but right now I need-“

Adrian makes you forget what you were about to say as he grabs one of your breasts into his hand squeezing firm, but sure, that was exactly what you needed right now despite feeling sore you just wanted to be railed by him.

“You smell so good.” Adrian informs you moving back a little as he starts chasing hot kisses down to your stomach leading towards your shorts, his hands letting go of your breasts ghost over your skin as they reach their destination, your hips.  

Lifting your ass up in the air Adrian takes the hint as he starts to slowly move the shorts down grabbing hold of your underwear also, and soon both are off and quickly chucked down beside the bed.

Noticing the intense way Adrian is looking at you, you go to close your legs but he stops you placing two hands roughly on the top of your thighs saying “You are gorgeous.” Over and over which has the desired effect of relaxing you back into the moment.

Flattening one of his hands on your stomach  Adrian strokes his palm downwards until his thumb brushes ever so gently against your clit which sends a jolt through your body making him hitch a breath as you buck under his hand.

“Wow, someone’s sensitive did that feel good?” Adrian chuckles as you nod dumbly, arching your back whilst pushing your hips out showing him what you needed.

“More, I need more!” You demand with a sigh which turns into a gasp when you feel two fingers push your wet folds apart and he sinks them all the way inside, making your pussy wall clench hard around them.

“Fuck, I felt that!” Adrian groans which you mirror instantly when you feel his long fingers start pumping you and the feeling that this could be embarrassing evaporates because lust was clearly winning overall here.

“Don’t stop!” You tell Adrian, sounding out of breath as you close your eyes feeling the dull ache between your legs spread out into a warm heat that makes you smile to yourself.

“I want to suck on your clit so bad right now, let me eat you out please!” Adrian whines making you gasp as he abruptly stops fucking you with his fingers.

“Adrian you will get covered-“

Words escape you as you watch Adrian place his bloodied fingers into his mouth sucking hard as he licks them clean this makes your mouth fall open because it was so fucking sexy.

With a smug grin plastered on Adrian’s face he lowers his head placing a delicate kiss above your clit which makes you shiver, but seconds later he hits the right spot lapping his tongue across the bundle of nerves which makes you cry out in pleasure.

Placing both your hands on the back of his head you feel Adrian hold down your thighs when you realise you were wriggling about from the delicious sensation of his mouth over your pussy.

Swiftly gliding his tongue deeper inside you with every lick making you call out his name, when he hits a particular sweet spot that sees you careening over the edge into orgasmic bliss.

“Oh fuck!” You cry out practically shaking as Adrian grips your thighs, keeping you in your place as he continues to lick your core whilst your orgasm crests and you feel weightless, the cramps turning pleasurable as you feel your muscles flutter then eventually still.

“Was that good?” Adrian asks, looking up, making your eyes widen as you look past the confident smirk and focus on the blood smeared across his face instead.

“You look like the joker.” You blurt out with a laugh making Adrian roll his eyes, used to your bad jokes as he grabs at one of the towels to clean his face as you hand him a wet wipe from your bedside table.

“Did you know the Joker is like legit in love with Batman?” Adrian begins whilst your still coming down from your high and he continues talking “He makes people he fucks dress up like him, you know, costume and all, he even plans to get caught every time he commits some heinous crime just in the hope Batman can punish him, with his dick.”

“Where the hell did you hear that?” You ask pulling yourself up into your elbows rewarding Adrian with a disbelieving look, the pair of you did have some weird conversations sometimes.

“It’s true! I heard it from Peacemaker.” Adrian informs you confidently whilst you just shake her head with a smile, clearly it was a lie then.

Noticing Adrian readjusting himself in his boxers you clearly spot the tent he was pitching so you pull yourself up into a sitting position hand dipping below his waistband to grab his cock firmly.

“Ah! That feels so good!” Adrian groans as he dips his head watching your hand pull him free from his boxers snapping his hips towards you so you begin to jerk him off slowly.

Moving your head forward you go to wrap your mouth around his dick but Adrian leans back and in a frustrated voice stutters “ I-I want to fuck you.”

“I thought you’d never ask!” You smile back at Adrian who grins as he shoves down his boxers throwing them behind his head, landing somewhere in the bedroom then he leaps back onto the bed landing beside you with a chuckle.

Placing a hand on your hip Adrian twists you round so you are laying on your front, lifting your knees up so you are on all fours as you feel the tip of his cock pressing gently against your soaked cunt, even your thighs feel drenched at this point.

“Stop teasing-“ You don’t finish that sentence because Adrian pushes himself deep inside you completely filling you up as he bottoms out  and you cry out in glorious surprise.

Gripping firmly onto your hips Adrian’s fingertips sink into your soft skin leaving marks you were sure to feel tomorrow morning as he fucked you at a punishing pace.

Dipping forward he laid draped across your back as he kissed the side of your neck then moving his mouth closer to your ear he said in a deep voice “ Play with your clit, tease your sweet pussy for me baby.”

You loved it when Adrian talked dirty and he knew that fact of course, playing on it as you move your right hand closer to your soaked pussy, shuddering as you ghost the pad of your thumb over your sensitive clit.

“How does that feel?” Adrian ask but before you can tell him he adds “Do you think about me fucking you like this when you’re alone in the shower, fingering your pussy whilst you imagine it being my talented cock.”

“Yes! I think of you licking my pussy and your thick cock, let me come on your cock please!” You beg out with a gasping breath that makes Adrian groan deeply as his thrusts start to lose momentum, he is starting to get strung out.

Wanting to catch up you start adding pressure to your clit as you rub two fingers around your nub in maddening circles which makes Adrian hitch his breath as he starts to fuck you hard again that relentless rhythm meaning that pretty soon you would be met with either your orgasm or demise, you couldn’t decide which yet.

“You're gonna make me come!” You yell as seconds later your wish comes true as you feel your pussy muscles clench hard around Adrian’s cock, as they start to flutter and spasm leading to him crying out as he finishes inside you, cursing under his breath as you stop  moving your hand, laying your head down onto the burgundy towel on the bed.

“Wow! That was so good.” Adrian sighs happily as he pulls out of you and you anticipate his next words, or him actually screaming because he was covered in blood but instead there is silence.

“You ok there?” Adrian ask affectionately, patting your bare ass making you turn round to face him widening your eyes as you see him.

“I’m ok, but look at-“

“What? It’s just blood.” Adrian shrugs edging off the bed he grabs at one of the towels with a smirk on his face as he looks at you and says  “Maybe we should have saved the bath till afterwards.”

“We can do that next time.” You smile shyly making Adrian chuckle back as he wraps the burgundy towel around his middle letting it hang low, showing off his abs and the lines below his hips that drove you wild, it truly was a sight to behold.

“So how are you feeling now?” Adrian asks you carefully, picking up his glasses from the bedside table and placing them carefully over his ears whilst readjusting them on his face.

“Tired but very satisfied.” You state with a grin which makes a faint blush appear on Adrian’s face.

“Good.” Begins Adrian with that smug look on his face as he asks “So, you don’t want to hop in the shower with me to clean up?”

Covering the other towel around your lower half you place some between your legs looking back up at Adrian you add “Ok, but only if I can show you what I get up to during those few extra minutes in the shower.”

“I can watch!?” Adrian asks in awe, making you roll your eyes but smile regardless at the excited look on your boyfriend's face.

“I might even have you help, you did say you would help me all night.” You tell him in a flirty voice which makes him chuckle back as you both walk to the bathroom holding hands.

“As you wish.” Adrian nods dipping down to kiss the top of your hand that you use to cup his face bringing him closer towards your lips once more feeling completely happy.

It was bliss, mood, what bad mood? You felt high on serotonin and crazy in love looking up at Adrian as he moved away to turn on the shower.

You felt safe, content and loved. There was no better feeling and you had Adrian to thank for being the world's best boyfriend, you needed to get him a medal with that written on immediately.

Someone needed to bottle up the essence of Adrian and sell it, he was amazing and all yours, sure he was a little fucked up but weren’t we all?

You had been put on this earth to protect Adrian at all costs and you were ready to face anything and everything with the guy in front of you.

“Come in! The water’s just right.” Adrian winks at you holding out a hand which you take, your mouth colliding with his as he pulls you tightly against his body, a hint of a smile teasing over your lips as his hands cling onto your waist.

Adrian was all yours and you needed every last  drop of himself he could offer you, because you loved him he had made your life interesting and your heart full.

[zombiemink]

Cw rape

I've seen this post around a few times by now and almost reblogged it bc i do agree with the statements individually but i also think it is missing an important point, that is: it is actually hard to quantify what makes a “good” or a “bad” depiction of sexual violence. There are some stories about it that i know are technically good (by which i mean they are done in a realistic and/or respectful way) but they do not resonate with me; and there are some Problematic™ stories in which i can overlook the flaws bc i find them personally relatable or even simply enjoyable. So while i am indeed (very!!!!) critic of the way it is depicted in fiction and especially by men, im always cautious to not brand a story as being purely Bad Depiction bc there could always be someone else who finds it relatable, you know? The way we react to fiction especially when it comes to topics which provoke a strong emotional reaction such as this one, it can be so subjective and informed by personal experiences, so one person’s bad story can always be another person’s good story and vice-versa. Like just yesterday there was a discussion about rape and revenge movies on my dash, a genre i dont really like for several reasons but mostly the misogyny, yet the reasons cited in the discussion as for why some women would love them still made perfect sense! I just happen to not share those reasons. But unfortunately i feel that when it comes to “difficult” topics -sexual violence being a big one but not exclusively- then there is the expectation that everybody (including victims who all have their own individual background with it) will all feel the same way which is simply not true. It's really an oversimplification of how different people will feel differently about it.

(Idk. Even before that post i had been thinking a lot about the deep subjectivity of reactions when it comes to sexual violence in the last days. Since i started rewatching TWD in fact, bc what originally made me quit the show was the scene when Carl almost gets raped in late season 4 - and Michonne, but it was Carl that was too much for me to handle bc i found it overtly graphic for a scene with a child actor. I remember i watched a few more episodes after it but could not get over my upset with it so i quit. Yet it does not seem to be one of the scenes that has particularly disturbed people in general? And that truly surprises me.)

[littlemovieposters]

2023 Home Viewing #47: Mystery Train. (dir. Jim Jarmusch, 1989) Repeat viewing.

It must have been sometime in the mid-Nineties that I first saw this. Once upon a time, Jarmusch films were instant must-sees for me, but along the line I grew fatigued with what some might call "hipster" movies. Tom Waits plays the voice of the radio DJ? Who cares. Once, that would have been enough for me to want to see a film. I went to too many Wes Anderson movies during my cinema-hound days, and anything even loosely in this sort of column now elicits groans and reluctance. This is how I've felt for countless months when it's time for me to view something from my home-video collection. My brother gave me a zillion DVDs when he upgraded to Blu-Ray, and I've got some crazy methodology for determining what I'll watch next, and Mystery Train got vetoed over and over because I just couldn't bear to watch a clever, hip movie with non-actor musicians in it. My memories of Mystery Train were so dim that any attempt I'd have made to describe the film would have been inaccurate.

I recently hung out for a weekend with my oldest friend. On the last day we saw a blond Asian hipster dude walking down the street and my friend said "Do you think he's looking for Carl Perkins?" If you can get around any instant reaction that the comment could be racially problematic, maybe you'll think it was as funny as I did in the moment. Somehow I remembered from thirty-odd years ago that one of the plot lines of Mystery Train involves a pair of young Japanese tourists in Memphis, one of whom worships Carl Perkins. After that little real-life vignette with my friend, I knew I'd be seeing Mystery Train very soon.

Of course I loved it—that's how it often goes with things I don't want to do or see or hear—and I loved it so much that three nights after I watched the movie, I popped it in again to rewatch an entire 30-minute segment. For all my internal grumbling about watching non-actor musicians, Joe Strummer of The Clash is such an acting natural in Mystery Train, and I found his interplay with Steve Buscemi hilarious. There were some scenes I watched five or six times. I almost decided to rewatch the whole thing while listening to the commentary, something I never do. I got restless and moved on, but the upshot of this all is I dreaded watching this and wound up having more fun with it than any movie in a long time.

[the-assignment]

Blog #3 - Candyman 🙄

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I found out that we were watching both the original and the 2020 version(s) of Candyman – Candymen? Oh, whatever – for this weeks class.

But I quickly discovered that my major issue is definitely with the original Candyman. And for a lotta reasons.

Full disclosure: I don’t quite remember how or why, but I do know I watched the original Candyman when I was younger – even though I was not a fan of scary movies. It could have been because that was the only thing on TV that looked sorta interesting, and I didn’t realize it was a horror film until too late, or it could’ve been because my older sister has always loved horror films and making me watch them. I.e., she loves scar(r)ing me. (I’m gonna go with that.)

But re-watching it – though I would say this is my first real time watching the 1992 version of Candyman – was WILD. I don’t know if I’m just “grown up” now and have a different view and perspective of the world, if I’m more formally and informally educated about issues, if I’m more aware of issues surrounding race and culture and problematic themes, or all the above – but my goodness was this movie incredibly problematic and frustrating.

One of my favorite parts of the class that I am taking is talking about tropes and themes. Not only those in individual movies but across movie genres as well. So, to understand and recognize that a major theme of Black trauma and Black pain is being done through a white lens, is upsetting. To see Black bodies being used as mere props in a movie where it literally makes no sense to do so, is ridiculous.

Mostly, I straight up don’t understand how Helen is supposed to be the protagonist in this?? I am honestly, genuinely, perplexed. The entire movie just makes me dislike her more and more. And yet, disliking her isn’t the point of the film. The subplot and subcontext of the film is supposed to make you feel for her and fear for her. And that isn’t what I was doing.

I was thrown off by how privileged and almost arrogant she seemed. Like she was entitled to people’s help and assistance, stories, and pain. Especially, and entirely of Black people’s help, assistance, stories, and pain. She exploited the little Black boy who she had show her around – never once to stop and think about why he was alone – where his family or his mother was. Did she just assume that it’s “normal” for Black kids to be away from their mothers in “that” type of neighborhood. Wouldn’t you want to shield a child away from some of the things and themes she was exploring??

Also, the way she spoke to people! The scene where she’s asking the janitor questions about what happened and about the legend and myth of Candyman, etc. and she automatically thinks they should / will / need to help her. No pleasantries. No, “do you have a minute” – Nothing. The privilege is unreal.

Additionally, her best friend, who is – shocker – Black, dies! Even though she doesn’t say “Candyman” five times – Helen does! Where is the logic?

Where is the justice?!

Make it make sense!

I just don’t get how or why we are supposed to feel sorry for a privileged white woman who goes on a “Slum Safari” with no concern for the people and stories and pain that she’s using / exploiting / bringing along with her.

And then to make her the literal white savior at the end – Ugh. I. Can’t. Even.

It really shows that the concern was never about telling the story of a (understandably) vengeful (Though! To! The! Wrong! People!) black man that was a victim of racism (and therefore having to address the history of racism)' but about making a story that reaffirms white people’s perceptions - I.e., fear - of Blackness.

And I for one am glad that movie and iconic character has been reclaimed.

[toxicfunkylittlecrazy]

I blame this scene for my gay awakening

[bemusedlybespectacled]

so, I've noticed that some Discourse™ posts about adult content (and I am including my own in this) tend to have a kind of misery poker element to them. like, "well, when I was your age, I watched videos of people being literally set on fire, and I'm fine, so stop complaining about zutara!" or whatever, which just isn't really a good argument, considering that the response is going to be "no, you're not fine, you think it's okay to have porn of teenage characters on AO3!"

so, I want to tell a story about the opposite of that.

I think I've talked about this before on here, but my parents were extremely careful about the kind of media my siblings and I watched as kids. not for religious reasons; it was for the entirely secular reason of "screentime in general, but especially violent or sexual media of any kind, is bad for children's brains." I exclusively watched PBS (except for the news and Saturday morning cartoons on ABC) until I was eleven or twelve, because stuff like Power Rangers and The Power Puff Girls was too violent.

I started being allowed to branch out into "adult" media because I was considered old enough to self-screen for inappropriate content, and also pre-screen stuff for my younger siblings and, at least one time I remember, someone else's kids. this is why I started being allowed to watch police procedurals: I watched the first ten minutes or so of an episode of Numb3rs (it was Soft Target, I remember the imagery extremely clearly) and was able to convince my mom to let me watch it because a) it wasn't any more violent than Mystery, b) it had math in it and was therefore educational, and c) it came on at 9 PM on Fridays so it wouldn't keep me up too late on a school night.

the problem wasn't that I was incapable of filtering my own media. I was excellent at filtering my own media. the problem was that I was twelve years old and the most graphic thing I'd seen up to that point was Miss Marple, so my filter was wildly miscalibrated.

some things that I considered "inappropriate for children":

The Will Of The Empress by Tamora Pierce, both then and now my favorite author, not because of the two seconds of implied sexual content that flew directly over my head, but because one of the characters discovered she was a lesbian and kissed a girl onscreen a couple of times, and of course gay content meant something was automatically adult.

Eldest by Christopher Paolini, where I somehow completely missed all the nudity except for one scene where a pair of twin elves are described as dancing while naked, which to me made it basically porn.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, because of the scene where the Sheriff of Nottingham speeds through his wedding ceremony as quickly as possible so he can have sex with Maid Marian right there on the floor, not because it's a weirdly graphic almost-rape scene that's played for laughs for some reason, but because it had sex in it!

I think when someone talks about how X Show Is Problematic or Y Ship Is Morally Wrong, the response tends to sound like, "Suck it up and ignore any potential implications or problems it has, you big whiny baby!", which is not my point here.

my point is that when you haven't been exposed to a wide variety of content and/or life experiences, your Media Immune System is going to overreact to stuff that, in the grand scheme of things, is probably not that bad, because it's the first time you are experiencing it. it's also going to underreact to things that are so beyond your frame of reference that you can't even identify them as potential problems. your filter is going to be badly calibrated because you don't know what to calibrate it to.

I don't think being an adult is being able to handle The Most Viscerally Uncomfortable Movie or anything like that. I do think being an adult is, basically, microdosing on Problematic Content™ to expand your boundaries enough to even know what your boundaries are.

but if your response to anything potentially problematic is to completely avoid it because consuming it – or, horror of horrors, enjoying it – somehow taints you as a person, I can guarantee you that your filter is already wildly miscalibrated and you're doing your level best to keep it that way.

[dreamwritesimagines]

Twisted [Spencer Reid x Reader]

A.N.: So, here we go! 😁 Thank you so much for your wonderful support and lovely messages during my break my loves, they mean so much to me and ily! ❤ On my break, I binged a lot of shows, and Criminal Minds and Prodigal Son were two of them, but if you haven’t watched them don’t worry because it will not be following a specific canon plot😁❤Please let me know what you think and enjoy!❤

Warnings: Murder, drug use, serial killers, violence, manipulation

Summary: No one can choose their family.

If it were another time, you could’ve at least attempted to convince yourself how everyone had problematic childhoods. Focusing on something else usually worked, per the advices of countless psychiatrists your mother had forced you to go after the-

Incident.

Just the thought of it was more than enough to make your blood freeze in your veins, but you were soon snapped out of your thoughts when your phone started ringing. You checked the caller I.D, and heaved a sigh before you touched the screen.

“Hello?”

“Please tell me you’re not going there.” Your mother’s voice filled the car and you pressed your lips together.

“Hi mom.”

“Every time you go there and visit that man in that wretched prison cell of his, he manages to get into your head!”

“That’s not what’s going to happen,” you said, keeping your eyes on the road, “You have no reason to worry.”

“I have every reason to worry!” she snapped, “We promised that we wouldn’t let him worm his way into our lives.”

“Yeah well, FBI begs to differ,” you forced yourself to say, “You’ve seen the news—“

“I don’t want to hear this,” she cut you off, then heaved a sigh, “It’s terrible enough to hear it once, let alone twice.”

You never really had the luxury of ignoring all the terrible things on the news, especially after what had happened. Ever since you were a child, the nightmares wouldn’t leave you alone, and you weren’t as good as your mother at ignoring what was happening while you were awake.

“You could’ve said no.”

“I really couldn’t,” you mumbled and she clicked her tongue.

“Well then,” she said, trying to pull herself together, “I expect to see you at brunch, even your sister is coming. It won’t take long, will it?”

“It won’t take long to see my serial killer father and find out whether he is helping another serial killer even if he’s been behind bars for years?” you asked, “No mom. It shouldn’t take long.”

“Sarcasm will give you wrinkles.”

“Oh yeah, tragedy.”

“Call me as soon as you leave there,” she insisted, making you smile. “Promise me.”

“I promise,” you said as you pulled over in front of the building. Even the sight of it was enough to make your stomach flip and you felt the bile climbing up your throat.

You did not want to see him.

You had managed not to see him for years now, but now, the news were full of different coverage about a killer whose method of killing was very similar to him.

A flower left in the crime scene, every damn time.

Naturally, FBI wanted a word with the original killer. Less naturally, the original killer refused to speak unless he talked to his younger daughter, who happened to be you.

Unfortunately.

Yet, the sooner you walked in, the sooner you would walk out, and that was the only thing that offered any kind of consolation.

“God damn it,” you mumbled to yourself as you left your car, and made your way into the building. They patted you down, made you go through the x-ray and sign the papers before you entered the hall.

There were two men that weren’t in official prison guard clothes, which made you think these were the FBI agents you had talked to on the phone. For some reason, you hadn’t pictured them like this, but you didn’t know any agents so maybe this was the norm.

If it were any other time, you could’ve noticed how handsome they both were, but your mind was way too occupied.

“Ma’am,” the dark haired one stepped closer to you, “I’m Special Agent Luke Alvez, this is Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Even if Agent Alvez looked like the ideal FBI agent that was pulled out of an action movie, Dr. Reid looked more like a young, handsome professor, the ones that you dreamed would be at your university when you were still at high school.

Needless to say, that fantasy hadn’t come true much to your disappointment.

You shook your head, trying to focus.

“Y/N, it’s nice to meet you.” You shook hands with him, and smiled at Dr Reid, “Hello.”

“Thank you for coming.” His smile was soft, much like his gaze, “I imagine it’s not easy for you.”

You forced yourself to shrug, “Yeah it’s…” you trailed off and cleared your throat, “It’s fine.”

“So far we have seen five murders all over the country, in different areas but the crime scene has your father’s signature. It most likely means there are multiple copycat killers, and given your father’s past, he might be the mastermind behind it. He contacted us, but refuses to say anything unless he spoke to you.”

The goosebumps rising on your arms felt almost familiar.

“I haven’t been educated in any interrogation techniques.” You said, “And knowing him, he’s not just going to give that information to me.”

“People give information about a lot of things even when they don’t realize it.” Dr Reid said, “We will be outside, watching and listening.”

“I’ll talk to the guards to see if he’s ready, excuse me.” Alvez said and he walked away while you nibbled on your lip.

“How does a serial killer have this many privileges?” Reid asked you, “He has a private cell, books, TV…”

“Money,” you said slowly, “Money buys lawyers, lawyers buy freedom. Or the closest thing to freedom, given the circumstances. If you ask me, he should’ve been rotting in a hole but...” you trailed off, leaning back to the wall and took a deep breath, counting in your head.

“That’s a good exercise to calm down,” Reid said and your head shot up.

“What?”

“The 4 7 8 breathing exercise. I’m guessing a psychiatrist taught you that.”

“Several psychiatrists taught me that,” you stated, raising your brows, “You’re observant aren’t you professor?”

“Doctor.”

You clenched an unclenched your fists, your eyes darting around the hall,

“This is not helping,” you said as you exhaled a breath, “I need a cigarette, or twenty.”

“What do you do?” his question was so out of nowhere that you gawked at him for a moment.

“What?”

“What do you do?”

“I’m a— I’m a wedding planner.”

He tilted his head, “What’s that?”

“Well you…you know, you help the couples with color palettes, decoration, overall aesthetic, and during the wedding you make sure nothing goes wrong with the venue and the food and the music, all that. You make sure the wedding is perfect, basically.”

He hmmed, “How do I tell if a wedding is perfect? If we were talking sense wise?”

“Well first of all, in terms of looks, the colors need to complement each other,” you said, remembering your favorite events, “When you walk in, you see the garden and it’s well lit, but not too bright. In terms of touch, I guess you would make sure the table covers and such are soft to touch. The music should be slow at first, at least until it starts.”

“How about smell?”

“You can’t really go wrong with faint flower scents. Scented candles are a nice touch too.”

“The food?”

“Something light, most of the time. No one wants to get into a food coma at a wedding and you—“ you stopped as your eyes snapped up to his, a small smile playing at his lips.

He was making you list all the things that would ground you without making you realize you were doing it, so that you wouldn’t lose yourself in panic. It was yet another trick your psychiatrists had told you to do whenever you felt overwhelmed, talking about what you could see, hear, smell, touch and taste. By making you focus on a pleasant memory and remember all those, he was offering you a safe place in your own mind.

But contrary to any doctor, he didn’t make it obvious.

“Well played, professor.”

This time, he didn’t correct you,

“Grounding works most of the time,” he stated as Agent Alvez approached you, “I know this situation is less than ideal, but we will be right outside. You can walk out any time you want.”

“They’re ready.” Agent Alvez said and you nodded, trying to ignore the way your heart was slamming against your chest, then followed them to the door. Alvez opened the door for you, and you stepped inside, digging your fingernails into your palm.

His hair had more grays since you had last seen him, and his beard was longer, but that dangerous light in his eyes hadn’t changed. He looked up, a wide smile appearing on his face as his eyes searched yours.

“Sweetheart!” he said cheerfully, raising his hands a little so that you could see the chains attached to his handcuffs, “It’s been a while, wouldn’t you say?”

Pretending to be calm was something you had practiced so many times that your body knew automatically what to do. The door closed behind you and you swallowed thickly, making sure your face didn’t show any feelings. You slowly approached the table to pull yourself a chair, then put your phone on the table and started the countdown.

He wanted five minutes, and you would be damned if you stayed there a second longer.

“You look so much like your mother,” your father shook his head, “It’s uncanny, really.”

You gritted your teeth, still glaring at him.

“Not your eyes though,” he smiled, “You got your eyes from me. The window to the soul, hm?”

“My soul has nothing to do with you.” The words left your lips before you could stop them and he tut tutted.

“My petal-“

“Don’t call me that,” you cut him off, “I hate that nickname.”

That didn’t seem to break his enthusiasm though, much to your displeasure.

“Well, we should catch up,” he said , clapping his hands together, “Are you still with that young man from last year? He’d better be treating you well.”

You blinked a couple of times, “How did you-?”

“I have my sources too.”

“Your sources are slow then.” You stated, “We broke up months ago. Is that all? You brought me here to just talk about my personal life?”

“Why did you break up?”

“Are you really behind all these murders happening right now?” you asked back and he shot you a reprimanding look.

“None of that right now, petal. Business and family shouldn’t be merged, as you know.”

You felt like you would throw up, but managed to hold it together and stole a look at the countdown.

“Why did you break up?”

“Certain differences,” you said, cracking your fingers to distract yourself, and he leaned back.

“I get that,” he said, “If you’re different, you’re different. I always felt that with your mother—“

“Stop that.” You spat out, “Anything I do, including my relationships, it has nothing to do with you. I’m nothing like you.”

“Oh but you are,” he said, “It’s all in your eyes. In that deadly glare of yours. It’s there, isn’t it? That anger? Try to hide it as much as you want, it’s still burning you.”  

“There’s nothing burning me,” you said, “You’re fucked up, doesn’t mean I am too.”

“You know, there are many scientists that say murder is in the genes,” he stated, “So it would mean you’re contaminated too, no?”

The panic was pounding through your system, but you managed to keep your expression stable.

“Do you know why I didn’t ask your sister here? Or hell, your mother? Do you know why it is you?”

You stayed silent, your gaze focused on him.

“Your sister loved your mother, but you…. You were always such a daddy’s girl.”

“Wrong.”

“I don’t even think you cried for your mother whenever you scraped your knees, it was always me.”

“I didn’t know you were crazy when I was a child, guilty as charged. Doesn’t prove anything.”

“It does,” he said, “It proves more than you know. You are going to be my legacy.”

A cold shiver ran down your spine but you took a deep breath, resting your palms on the steel desk.

“No I won’t,” you said calmly, “Sorry to disappoint. I never killed anyone.”

Your father’s smile was almost as serene as your voice.

“Yet,” he pointed out, and you felt your throat tightening. “Ignore it if you want. It’s still there, petal.”

The beep of the phone made you snap out of it and you pushed your chair back, knocking it over in the process.

“Fuck you,” you said through your teeth as you gripped the door knob, “Have fun rotting in here.”

You swung the door open and stepped outside, still trying to catch your breath, and the door next to the interrogation room opened before Reid stepped into your vision. Your hands were still shaking and you desperately needed a cigarette and some fresh air.

But what you really needed was to get out of there.

“Y/N?”

“I hope you got whatever you guys needed,” you managed to say, wiping at your nose, “Because I’m never stepping a foot here, ever again.”

With that, you walked out of the hall, every cell in your body screaming at you to get away. You ignored the looks from the guards, tears blurring your vision and you left the building as fast as you could, as if someone was chasing you.

As if that could help you escape him.

Chapter 2

Taglist: @rhabakoli​ @theskytraveler​ @danyka-fendyr​ @alwaysadreamingoptimist​   @lettersofwrittencollective​ @dreamers-wonderland​ @lilliannaansalla​ @propertyofpoeandbucky​ @iblogabout-stuff​ @thinemineours​ @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @davnwillcome​ @chibi-liz05​ @demigoddesofchimichangagod​ @finnickfoxes​

[mccoyyy]

moving this to my new blog so I can pin it again lol

@stregoni-benefici you are completely correct but I just wanted to expand on this a little bit - also i’m putting this under a read more cause this got a lot longer than i originally thought it would be

sexism: smeyers treatment of female characters throughout the entire series is extremely problematic. like you don’t even need to read deep into the books to see that. the backstories of all her female characters all involve some form of trauma and are significantly more violent than the male vampires (Rosalie and Esme enduring physical/sexual assault meanwhile Edward dies of the flu and Emmett gets vibe checked by a bear).

she also creates the idea that a woman isn’t complete without children/being a mother. every female vampire in the series is desperate for children yet can’t, its mentioned in pretty much every book and extreme emphasis is placed on how tragic this is. a female character wanting children isn’t wrong or sexist at all but the way its written in twilight makes it seem like its something a woman has to do in order to be happy and smeyer pretty much cements this idea by making Bella suddenly desperate to have Renesmee despite showing no interest in children/audibly voicing her thoughts against having children in eclipse and the start of breaking dawn (i’m pretty sure Bella has a line of dialogue in the books where she says something like she didn’t realise it was something she wanted/needed until it happened bit I’m not sure I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

there’s also the way she writes female characters, specifically Rosalie. its mentioned throughout the series that Rosalie has extreme mechanical skills and multiple degrees in STEM fields but its barely ever shown, and instead her characterisation focuses on being obsessed with her looks (first couple pages of this, written by smeyer for new moon), and being a ‘stereotypical bitch’. for the first three books most of her character/dialogue is based on being cold and rude to Bella. She is unnecessarily painted as the villain for having different views on Bella (quite literally) giving up her life and future to be with a man (which is a whole other can of worms). the same is done to the character of Leah in eclipse/breaking dawn. Leah is a woman in the Quileute Tribe, she has been severely affected by the Cullen’s presence in the area and is painted as a character that the reader is supposed to dislike simply because she doesn’t like Bella/the Cullen’s despite having extremely valid reasons not to

anti-Native - smeyers treatment of native tribes is horrendous. she has profited fr years off of of native american culture for years and has done so without any acknowledgements. furthermore, she also demonises native american teens (especially in new moon) by calling them wild, violent, dangerous and out of control and then uses these stereotypes to create a contrast between the self control and patience of the Cullen’s and make them seem more like the good guys, and the wolf pack being lesser. She does this again with the treatment of Jacobs character in new moon and especially eclipse.

Jacob starts off in new moon as Bella’s best friend. he helps Bella come out of a severe depression caused when Edward left at the start of the book. however in eclipse his character makes a complete flip and he becomes moody, temperamental, argumentative and disrespectful of Bella’s boundaries. his character becomes unrecognisable and despite smeyers claims of a love triangle, it is obvious what the outcome will be. I have seen countless instances of people on this site claiming they hate Jacob because he is a dick/disrespectful/just as unhealthy as Edward. this was done on purpose by smeyer as she uses Jacob to make Edward seem like the obvious and correct choice for Bella. if you need more proof of this, take the scene where Jacob kisses Bella without her consent and she breaks her hand when punching him, Edward swoops in and almost gets into a fight with Jacob for touching Bella without her consent. this is an obvious attempt to make Jacob seem like the villain and Edward the white saviour

there’s also the treatment of the native characters by the white characters in the books. multiple times in the series, the native characters are called/compared to dogs/brutes and have a distinct unpleasant smell. I don’t think I need to explain how this is racist. the pack also helps the Cullen’s/saves Bella’s lives and never receive any acknowledgement/are treated any better by the Cullen’s/anyone really. the pack are only ever used as a way to make the Cullen’s look better.

there’s also some pretty obvious similarities to colonisation with the Cullen’s entering Quiluete lands which then forces them to start phasing into wolves (and I’m pretty sure none of the pack actually want to start phasing). also, remember Leah? the only female member of the wolf pack? because of the change she effectively can’t have children? that has implications.

and to top it all off, after doing all that, smeyer has never once addressed this or even acknowledged the Quileute Tribe.

pedophilic - I mean even without mentioning breaking dawn its pretty awful. first of all you’ve got the blatant sexualisation of minors throughout the entire series. Edward is 17 throughout the series and smeyer is writing literal paragraphs about his chiselled abs. Jacob is 16/17 when she has him running about forks topless with a 6 pack. this is way more apparent in the movies but its still a huge issue in the books and lead to Taylor Lautner being confronted by adult fans trying to get him to sign their underwear, and being forced into being shirtless for most of the movies which made him extremely uncomfortable (Elizabeth Reaser (Esme) briefly talks about this in the ID10T podcast on spotify). and just as a reminder, Taylor was 16 when the first one was filmed and 17 for the second.

Breaking Dawn is a whole other can of worms. the glaringly obvious issue is Jacob imprinting on a literal newborn baby. now the concept of imprinting itself has racist elements to it, but its heavily implied in the series that imprinting will inevitably lead to a romantic relationship. Jacob imprinting on Renesmee and waiting until she is old enough to enter into a romantic relationship (never mind the fact that shes ‘old enough’ she will still technically be 5) is pretty much grooming. The same happens with Quil and his imprint, Claire (a two year old) where I’m pretty sure there’s a scene in breaking dawn where Jacob and Leah are watching Quil play with Claire and talking about how Quil isn’t going to date anyone because he and Claire are ‘pretty much inevitable’ (i might be wrong though, like I said I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

smeyer has also written a spin off book (its like 250 odd pages) called the short second life of Bree Tanner (Bree is that newborn vampire killed after the battle in eclipse by the Volturi btw). In this book, Bree is 15 almost 16, and another character Diego is 18 which is definitely pushing the boundaries of ok. (also as a side note, funny how Bree and Jacob are literally the same age and smeyer states multiple times how Bree deserved better and is only a child (who straight up kills people), yet when it comes to Jacob he has to be a responsible adult and is vilified for every mistake he makes)

racist - smeyer refused to let Catherine Hardwicke (director of the first twilight) have a diverse cast because she ‘imagined them a certain way’ (white) and it was a fight to get Edi Gathegi cast as Laurent and had to compromise with smeyer to make Bella’s friend group more diverse. this woman straight up refused to hire more diverse actors and only agreed to when they were side characters/villains.

Also in the official companion book/guide to twilight, smeyer literally writes that vampire venom makes you white

‘the venom leeches all pigmentation from the skin into a more indestructable vampire form…regardless of original ethnicity a vampires skin will be exceptionally pale’ (official illustrated guide pg.69)

this is a whole lot of bullshit cause she is literally whitewashing characters, but when you pair this with the idea that vampires possess inhuman levels of beauty it becomes extremely problematic and implies that being pale/white is more beautiful than darker skin tones.

also, if we go back to Laurent’s character for a second. so Laurent is one of the only characters who isn’t described as white (in the books he is described as having a pale olive skin tone) and in the first book he comes across as pretty reasonable (warning carlisle about James/Victoria, travels up to Denali and tries out the veggie lifestyle) but in new moon, his characterisation pulls a 180° (sensing a theme here) and is suddenly trying to kill Bella as a favour to Victoria and is Evil™ despite in the first book he literally says to Carlisle he didn’t particularly like travelling with James/Victoria and was only really doing it for convenience. where did this undying loyalty come from? yet again, smeyer is completely disregarding established characterisation in POC characters specifically to villainise them.

and finally, we have Jasper. for some reason (that reason being that she is racist) smeyer decides to make Jasper a confederate soldier in his human life. if you don’t have a lot of knowledge on the american civil war, the confederacy were the side of the US that seceded from the union in order to keep their slaves. Jasper was a confederate soldier, and not just any soldier, but a major. Jasper was a major in an army that fought for 4 years to keep the existence of slavery (and don’t even try to say that slavery wasn’t the root cause of the civil war. states rights aye? states rights to do what). now there’s an argument out there made by certain fans that a lot of people joined the confederate army out of pride/were forced into it cause of conscription to try and head canon the racism away but like that doesn’t matter. there was literally no need to make jasper a confederate in the first place. if she was so desperate to have a civil war vampire then she could have made him a member of the union. its been common knowledge that the confederacy was racist for a long time now, smeyer has absolutely no excuses here.

a lot of these issues overlap and I have probably missed heaps of issues (so feel free to add on) but hope this helps explain why smeyer can *ahem* get tae absolute fuck

[riathedreamer]

Zero is Null

A discussion of Zero’s love-hate-relationship with RvB and struggling independence; including a hotdog too big for the bun, tragic backstories, a single bow-chicka-bow-wow, and a cookie at the very end.

Welcome to what will be a lot of text. Basically, it will explore why Zero fails as an RvB (with emphasis on RvB) season. I will not be the first one to bring forth some of the points, and I promise to be fair and civil and fun. This isn’t supposed to be a piece of hate – in fact, I’m writing this because I love Red vs. Blue.

Okay, first of all, to increase your fun – take a guess on just how much of Zero is spent on fight scenes. You see, I’ve calculated the exact amount, and I will reveal it later, but for now, take a guess and remember the number. Maybe you are the winner!

Alright, time to share my thoughts. Wait! Since I suffer from anxiety and have this one annoying voice pretending to be all those critical statements my opinion could be met with, let’s give it an actual voice and address the points throughout this review.

“Why would I care about your opinion, Ria?” – I don’t know, you’re the one who clicked Read More.

“Your opinion doesn’t matter!” – Of course, it doesn’t! Geez. Do you think your opinion matters, though? Listen, we’re on Tumblr, the actual equivalent of screaming into the void. And it’s fun, too!

“If you don’t like it, don’t watch!” - *activates Uno Reverse Card* “You can’t talk about something you haven’t watched!”

“You’re just a Hater” – Actually, this is a point I’ll come back to. Like a cliffhanger. Also, at the end of this, there’ll be a cookie. But this will also include me talking about the stuff I like, because, surprise, Zero is not without talent!

“You just don’t like it because the Reds and Blues aren’t in it!” – Actually, that’s a good point, so instead, this review will start with a sole focus on Zero and discuss the problem that lies within that story. Then we can address why the lack of OG cast is understandable and problematic and weird.

But first! Backstory.

When the first 5 second teaser dropped back in spring (you know, when we were young and innocent and the world didn’t feel like an apocalyptic movie yet), I held onto that one image of what I thought (hoped) to be Grif and Simmons in the sunset, hopefully addressing Grif’s hateglue arc, but boy was I wrong because a) that’s not Simmons, that’s Sarge, and b) the image was from a PSA since the Reds are not in Zero.

Actual face-reveal of me below:

Admittedly, when I heard that the Reds and Blues were not going to be the main characters (or even show up), it felt like a gut punch. However, I actually found myself getting excited due to the creators’ hype. I want to praise them for this. It’s been a while since an RvB season was talked so much ABOUT before its release; it had advertisements, it had creators and voice-actors talking about it. Please. More of that in the future. Their passion rubbed off on me, and that deserves recognition. So it pains me that this was clearly a passion-project, and then when I gave it a try, I didn’t want to touch it again for weeks.

Here’s the thing. I cannot whole-heartedly say that Zero is bad. It’s not gonna melt your eyes. It’s not even so-bad-it’s-good. For me, it’s meh. It’s a Saturday-morning-cartoon aimed for a younger audience with a rushed plot and clichéd characters. The problem is that it calls itself RvB, and with that title comes something to live up to – but more importantly, something to continue.

My main issue is that Zero forces its story into existence by ignoring established content rather than adjusting to it. Let’s call this for the hotdog-too-big-for-the-bun syndrome solely for the sake of the bow-chicka-bow-wow that’s coming now. Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Many of the separate issues I will dive into all add to this hotdog-issue, so I will scream “Hotdog!” whenever this is the case so we can all keep track of my argument.

You can continue the story of Red vs. Blue without the Reds and Blues. While that would personally crush my heart, it can be done. There’s a story of Red vs. Blue that can be continued. The world can be expanded, the previous actions of the Reds and Blues can be explored from another angle.

So.

How does Zero do this? It doesn’t.

I just want to make it clear that new elements can definitely be added when it comes to worldbuilding. That’s literally the point of sequels. But Zero’s settings are presented with so little grace and with no connection to previously established worldbuilding. We get Alliance of Defense and GLASS thrown in our face as very big important organizations – yet we’ve never heard of them before. A big central plot point of RvB is the UNSC and Project Freelancers, and those were introduced naturally with the plot. We already have big established intergalactic organizations. What is AOD’s connection with those? We aren’t told. We are just told they exist and expected to accept it, no questions asked. If this was a whole new world and story – fine. But when you need to build on an already established worldbuilding, you need more grace than this. Chorus was a whole new setting, but it was explained, and it was connected to the previous plot. Same with Iris. Same with Desert Gulch. In Zero, it feels lazy. It feels forced. These organizations are just there because the story is built around them (HOTDOG).

This vagueness when it comes to wordbuilding is also reflected in the settings - we have a desert, a training base, a lab, temples, Tucker’s workplace, and we do not know if all those are set place on the same planet. If that is the case, what is this planet’s relationship with Chorus? Is it Earth? And most importantly, what is the deal with the temples? Why are they connected to Tucker’s sword if it isn’t the same planet. Are they made by the same aliens? Are people okay with this? Why haven’t these temples been explored before? Chorus makes sure to establish this, while Zero doesn’t, adding to a growing amount of confusion.

Okay, so no connection with previous worldbuilding. What about characters? I mean, we got Wash and Carolina and Tucker! So we have RvB characters, it gotta be RvB! Technically – yeah. But it feels dirty. These three characters are not here to be characters. They are here to be props to the new cast. They are not given any development. Their presence isn’t even that important, and if this was a whole new show, they could easily have been replaced with an unknown face. Worst of all, they feel miswritten.

Carolina and Wash are working at a new military organization? Leaving the Reds and Blues behind? To help people? First of all, fucking bad idea, Carolina, the last time you left the Reds and Blues alone, they changed the timeline. But most importantly – Carolina and Wash just joined this new super elite military organization? After being mistreated and manipulated by such an organization in the past?

Carolina is there to introduce the characters. That’s it. We are force-fed their personality by having her literally read out loud their personality. There is no gentle introduction to the new cast. We are not allowed to get to know them naturally. Why show when you can tell, huh? That’s Carolina’s role. That’s why she is there. To introduce the cast and explain their story. That’s it. (HOTDOG).

How about Wash? He is there to get beat up and be a damsel in distress so that the new cast has a reason to explore the plot. Oh, and that brain damage that was the consequence of previous seasons – gone now. The guy who literally has trauma from having an AI explode inside his head is fine with having a computer inserted into it instead. Because that’s needed. To explore his brain damage wouldn’t work now when his role is to be a prop to lure the new cast for one episode and then be put onto the bench for the rest of the runtime (HOTDOG).

And Tucker – he is there to die for a second and have his sword taken from him. That’s literally it. And for the few moments he is there, he feels like old super flirty Tucker, which erases the character development he went through in previous seasons. Okay, so Tucker dies, and then not dies, and then he is put on the bench with Wash where they can sit and talk or whatever (‘cause holy shit, the new cast is not allowed to that), because he isn’t important. The sword is. Tucker is just a prop, even more than his sword is (HOTDOG).

Damn. Wash gets beat up. Tucker gets beat up. Dies. Gets his sword taken away. Almost seems like a Red’s wet dream. Sorry not sorry, Blues, you were done dirty.

So there are miswritten old characters. Even worse is the retconning. The plot needs a “normal” Wash, so, bam, magic computer solution. Never mind Wash’s trauma and character traits. Never mind the logic of the new worldbuilding which also includes a character suffering for years to heal an illness. But the brain damage that was such a big consequence that it became the main part of the plot of the last two seasons – gone. I mean, a gunshot to the head can be healed by CPR. That’s canon. But no one gave Wash CPR so it’s a big thing, okay. It was canonically a big thing, and Zero erased that. This is not me saying that a Cerebral Enhancer couldn’t work in the RvB universe. Imagine it being done right. Wash struggling with the choice of getting used to his disability or accepting the possibility of help - at the cost of reliving his trauma. The struggle between what to choose - what should he choose when he wants to help as many as possible, the sacrifices he thinks he has to make, the way it could have been used as a part of his character growth. But in Zero, the enhancer isn’t a part of Wash’s character. It’s there so the story can work without having to deal with the previous plot’s consequence (HOTDOG).

Same with the sword thing. They sorta explain it by having Tucker flatline, but it’s weak. Honestly, I find it sorta offensive. What about Locus’ sword as well? It’s twisting previous lore to make the new plot work (HOTDOG). (Also, are we not gonna talk about the ultimate power being Spencer Porkensenson’s helmet? Have the writers forgotten Spencer Porkensenson? Have we as a community forgotten Spencer Porkensenson?)

If you have Red vs. Blue in your title, you cannot ignore what you inherit from it. You need to respect the worldbuilding, the established characters, and the previous plot. Zero does not do this.

Let’s talk about the Triplets. No, really, let’s do it. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about them before, because season 14 was a mixed bag for me (that I have now learned to appreciate. Thank you, Zero.) because I have heart at the size of the Grinch and can only love a few characters at a time, and that did not include the Triplets. Can’t even remember their names. Well, I can, but I can’t for the love of me remember which state is which, and my tongue is twisted every time I try to say Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho, and I know it’s on purpose. I know it is. And it got me good. That being said, the fandom actually embraced them really, really well! Seriously, I’ve seen more content for the Triplets than for Zero as a whole.

Why talk about the Triplets? (Was Iowa the lesbian? Or was it Ohio? Fuck.) Because like Zero, they introduced new characters with a story of their own. The Reds and Blues didn’t play a role. But here’s what I feel like the Triplets got right. They didn’t change the settings to force their narrative. They used stuff already established (Project Freelancer), added their own story as a continuation of that. They even included old characters in the beginning (Wash and some other Freelancers) but it felt natural and it didn’t feel like it happened at the expense of the old characters. Wash’s writing felt natural, and his presence wasn’t needed to tell these new character’s stories. He wasn’t a prop to them. He was there to establish the setting and to establish the relationship with these new characters, and then he and the other familiar faces (helmets??) left, and we as the viewers were left with these new characters. And the new characters told their own story by themselves. It felt like, hey, here’s something you know – remember Mother of Invention, and remember Wash’ lower rank, but now, try to imagine being even lower rank than him, aren’t you curious about those fates? Now let’s hear their story! It was new, it was something else, but it didn’t wreck what came before it, and it stayed true to the classic vibes of RvB.

As I said before, the hotdog-issue is my biggest problem with Zero. It infuriates me. I will return to this. But there are more issues, even if we try to look past the title-related problems.

If we try to imagine Zero as its own story and universe (as it should be, in my opinion), it still earns the meh review from me.

These isolated issues include awkwardness, the writing, lack of self-awareness, and pacing. First of all, holy shit, this is a tell, don’t show. Nothing is subtle, nothing is allowed to develop. It’s like the show thinks you are six years old with an attention span of a goldfish. You are not just led by the hand – they have literally pulled off your arm by the end of the show. We are force-fed every bit of information, every bit of personality from these new characters.

The voice-acting is a mixed bag for me. Sometimes it’s pretty good, sometimes it’s not. Some of the problems can definitely be blamed on the dialogue that you can only do so much with. It’s not good. I can’t remember any good jokes (the one joke I really appreciate was the cast on armor, and that was freaking visual humor. That was so RvB. Kudos to that. It was fun. More of that, please.), and RvB is known for having memorably good lines. This is a show built on good, clever, funny dialogue. Zero does not deliver. You have to sit through clichéd lines – “You’re not my dad”, “I trusted you”, “Come with me”, “It can’t be!”, “She’s way too powerful”, and “We have to do this together” – performed unironically. I cringed more than I laughed. Worst thing is that Zero could be a good parody. Sometimes, it feels like it is. One-dimensional characters, a villain wanting ‘the ultimate power’, very overpowered characters, bad one-liners, etc. But Zero takes itself seriously, and I was one of the people rooting for Jax to show up at the end and yell “Cut”. That would have been a funny-as-fuck twist. A spin-off parody. If I can’t have “Sarge the Movie”, I would have taken that and loved it. I would have forgiven everything. “We put so much info into finding that power, but we had no idea what it was” is really a line in the finale, and I cannot believe this is real in a show that somehow still tries to present itself as serious. What a plot.

We have to talk about pacing. God, first of all it should be stated that RvB is a mess when it comes to pacing. I honestly get what they were going for. Sometimes, RvB has come across as a bit boring when you get three episodes stretched over three weeks without much going on. I know season 11 did not have the warmest welcome because it was seen as boring until the finale. But when you see season 11 as a whole, as a movie, as a part of a trilogy, it works so well. Zero is more focused on being episodic. They want something to happen all the time so we will stay tuned. The thing that will happen – a fight. Oh god. The fight scenes.

I have done the math. I have run the numbers. I deserve a freaking cookie for this. Are you ready?

If you put all the episodes together, you have a runtime of 106 minutes. HOWEVER, with the introduction of credits in every episode, you gotta account for this. Removing the credits, this gives us 94 minutes of actual runtime. Out of that, 45 minutes are dedicated to fight scenes. That means 48% of the show is fight scenes.

If I wanted that many fight scenes, I’d watch Death Battle. Except the actual RvB Death Battle episode has a runtime of 20 minutes, and out of that, 5 minutes is dedicated to the actual battle. For the people who hate math – that’s 25% of the actual runtime.

RvB Zero has more fight scenes than a show called Death Battle. Take that in.

The pace suffers from this. Where’s the time to explore the characters? Where’s the time for good dialogue? All I can think of is this:

I get that RvB is a show that’s literally making fun of itself by acknowledging all their characters do is stand around and talk. I get that you want characters to do more than that. But for the love of Church, would it kill the new characters to stand around and talk? For just a minute? Stop fighting, I am begging you, stop fighting! Am I a pacifist now? Am I purple? Have I joined Doc’s team? What has Zero done to me?!

The good thing though is that fight scenes are very good. They’re entertaining. However, they seem to deconstruct themselves when we need to get a fight scene in every episode. Usually, the few fight scenes in an RvB season were in some of the most climatic episodes. In Zero, I can hardly keep up with the pace because they won’t stop moving. Fight scenes aren’t plot. They aren’t character development. You need more than just fight scenes. They entertain, but there’s a limit to that.

Noël Wiggins, the co-writer, stated the inspiration was a Saturday-morning cartoon. They nailed that vibe. If that was their goal, hurray, they have accomplished something! Because of the poor plot and constant fight scenes, it feels like you could just switch on the TV and drop in at any moment and let yourself be entertained by the cool and colorful soldiers punching and kicking each other. I will admit that the fight scenes entertained me. But they don’t make it a good season.

If I were the six-year-old with the attention span of a goldfish that the show believes I am, I honestly would enjoy it. The stiff dialogue and the constant tell-don’t-show makes you feel like an audience that’s not supposed to do anything else but admire the flashy fight scenes. I miss the cleverness of RvB. I miss the characters I get to connect with as I see them grow.

I miss the tone of RvB. Because this isn’t RvB to me.

It’s not that RvB hasn’t changed its tone before. Holy shit, I sorta do want to experience the absolute shock the RvB fandom went through when s6 aired and they were given new characters and serious plot. I would have loved to experience that, but I was too busy being ten years old. The Freelancers seasons also introduced a new tone and more fight scenes with very talented fighters compared to the Blood Gulch gang, but a balance was kept by having half of the season still revolving around the Reds and Blues. But Zero – Zero is so much change. And it’s on purpose. At least this has been made very clear from the beginning.

They constantly seem to appeal to new fans, rather than be directed towards older fans of the show. If you want an entirely new audience with a season with a new cast, new worldbuilding, and new tone, I’m confused as to why they don’t just make a new show. The hotdog-problem begs for this solution. This story and environment and characters feel so out of touch with the original RvB, that with a few rewrites and lack of Halo-armor, it could just be a new show. Problem solved.

If not this, then present it as a spin-off. In all ways, it feels like a spin-off (again, see everything marked HOTDOG). But the creators refuse to do this, and I don’t understand why. I could forgive many of these issues, had they officially separated themselves from canon.

Ah, what’s the idiom? You can’t both swallow and blow? (You can hear the Bow-chicka-bow-wow in the distance). Something about eating cake and having it. Forgive me, English isn’t my native language. POINT IS why are you calling yourself RvB while actively fighting against the core essence of RvB? In my humble opinion, you can’t be both. Marketing it as a spin-off would have granted it some defense when changing, well, literally everything, and I just, would someone please properly describe why it isn’t a spin-off? Isn’t this season marked by its association with the plot of RvB rather than a continuation of it? Zero presenting itself as not a spinoff feels like a toddler clinging to the hem of its mother’s dress while forcefully running away from her, ripping the dress in the process.

When they do connect with the original RvB, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. When they let Carolina, Wash, and Tucker appear for a moment, it feels like luring viewers in with the RvB title. Look at me. Look at me! I’m not saying this is the case. I say that it gives me the annoying vibes of being lured, rather than letting the characters be a part of the show for their own development, rather than having RvB in the title to continue its story. I should not be getting these vibes at all. But I am.

If you want to use RvB in the title, something from the core of RvB needs to be embraced. Things can be changed. They should. Something new should be brought in. But there’s a limit to how much you can change and replace and twist until it would have been better with an original show. As a season of RvB, it should tell the story of Red vs. Blue.

From my perspective, Zero fails to do so.

It pains me that the old cast has been replaced, but as stated earlier, a season could have worked without them. However, I do not like the take that one should be excited about all the new characters. That it isn’t a big thing that the OG cast got replaced. That we should just deal with it. Just, try to imagine another show suddenly replacing the main characters with characters we’ve never met before. Imagine RWBY suddenly only focusing on a new team of huntresses with the previous main characters reduced to an Easter Egg presence, or Camp Camp suddenly being about a new team of campers, no warning given. Can you imagine the outcry? So maybe let’s agree that a replacement of the main cast is a big thing and should be addressed and it’s valid to be upset about this change.

Could Zero have worked? It’s hard to answer this. How can I accept something as RvB if the season actively pushes away the core of RvB aside for an isolated story that could have been told in any other media? As a spinoff, I could have ignored it. To enjoy Zero, I have to fully separate it from RvB in my mind, and then it’s alright. S’not good. But it’s not bad. It’s entertaining enough. I really ended up liking Raymond and Tiny, and there were a few good jokes, and the fight scenes were admirable (but too much) and I love the creators’ passion. But it’s not RvB. I also wish that the new characters had been attached to previous worldbuilding, for example soldiers on Chorus or agents from Project Freelancer. That way we could build on familiar lore which would have decreased the confusion and added a much needed connection with the previous seasons of RvB.

God, the anxious voice is back (by the way, it sounds like Tutter from “Bear in the Blue House”).

“You’re racist” – I hope not. Literally, I do not want to be. Tell me if I’ve ever crossed some lines, because I swear, that is not my intention, I will apologize and most of all, change and do better. I included this because I’ve seen this take thrown around in the big ugly mess that is the fandom clashes regarding Zero. And racism is problem within RT community (this includes AH and RvB, sorry, I just use RT as an umbrella term for the latter), and I’m not saying it hasn’t been a problem with this season. Writers should never be harassed, and never-fucking-ever because of their skin color, and voice actors shouldn’t be treated like they are responsible for the choices of the show. But I was legit nervous to post this review, and I hope it’s been factual without feeling like personal attacks on the creators because that has never been my intention. I was delighted to hear about the diversity behind this project, and Torrian’s passion legit blew me away because it’s been a while since I’ve seen that for an RvB project. I’d hoped for it to be good, and when I feel disappointed, it’s for the reasons stated in this analysis. That said, Zero is made by a diverse cast and it’s made with love, and both of those things are so, so great, but it does not mean that Zero cannot be criticized. It can, and it should. It’s a product, just like all the other seasons, and fans are allowed to discuss it – both what they loved, and both what they found troublesome. And to repeat previous points, and be respectful, always, fuck racists, and never-fucking-ever harass the staff behind a season, what the fuck is wrong with you if you do this.

“Don’t you get it, it’s different because it’s trying something new!” – Hey, remember the philosophical question: if you replace all the parts of a ship one-by-one, is it still the same ship when you’re done? If it doesn’t include the Reds and Blues, if it ignores previous plot, if the old characters feel miswritten, if it values animation over dialogue, if it values fight scenes over comedy, if it wants to be Fast and Furious instead of Red vs. Blue – is it still Red vs. Blue? Because it doesn’t feel like it to me.

“It's been 17 seasons, it’s time to let the Reds and Blues go so someone else can shine!” – I simply do not understand us having been with the Reds and Blues for 17 seasons should be an argument to let them go, rather than be an argument as to why their absence hurt like hell.

“The Reds and Blues ran out of things to do!” – Did- did they, though? I mean, if we were discussing pretty much any other show, I’d probably agree that they were running out of content. But for the Reds and Blues… I think the PSAs nailed it this year! I’m not kidding, I had more fun watching the Reds and Blues discuss how to do laundry than watching Zero. You could literally give me an hour of the Reds and Blues trying to bake a cake or clear a gutter or simply settling down with an ordinary life, and I would trust them to make it worth the watch.

“The flaws were due to the fact it’s only 8 episodes long!” – Look, I can only judge a product the way it’s presented to me. I cannot come up with excuses for it. If they had 8 episodes to work with, they need to come up with a plot that works with this runtime. Seriously, this excuse cannot work when 48% of the season is spent on fight scenes. They could have used more runtime, sure, but the show needs to be able to pace itself and be planned accordingly.

“The OG cast couldn’t be a part of this year, hence Zero!” – That might be true. But. Would one year without RvB kill it? Is Zero necessary? Again, I just can’t judge excuses for the show. But trouble with the cast has been an issue before. Season 15 solves Geoff’s sabbatical by actually making Grif’s absence a part of the plot. Zero’s lack of Reds and Blues just feels like this excuse to tell a story that needn’t be a part of RvB.

Am I a hater? I guess? I greatly dislike Zero for the critique stated above. I do, however, not harass the creators and no one should ever do that. However, I have to admit that I feel there’s been this weird rejection of any critique of Zero where everything’s been brushed off as haters gonna hate, including the critique stated above. And I think that’s a problem because critique, as hard as it can be to hear (and I know this. I’m an author of original works. Weird flex, I know), is valid and necessary and shouldn’t just be shrugged away. As always, both sides of the fandom should always be respectful, but my own opinion is that addressing the flaws of Zero should not be controversial.

Does this super long rant/critique/whatever mean you cannot enjoy Zero? Gods no! I almost envy you if you enjoy this season, but holy shit, feel free to love it and tell the creators that you love it! Me pointing out the issues I have with the season shouldn’t be stopping you. I loved (and still love) s15 when it came out, and it was majorly rejected by the fandom. There were many, many critical posts, people were going on about how RvB should have ended with s13, and it evolved into the writer receiving death threats (me, once again: never ever harass the creators, assholes). But I didn’t tell people to stop being negative. I actually agreed with many of the flaws that were pointed out, and I enjoyed the season despite this, because that is possible. We, as RvB fans, should agree that RvB, is... I mean, it’s not the greatest, most flawless of shows, but we love it nonetheless. So go ahead and love Zero. This is not a stop sign. This is my opinion that you chose to read.

Wait, I promised you a cookie, didn’t I? Well, you’re not getting one. Why? Because I’m a Red and this is my chance to piss off a Blue. As Caboose wisely said: “Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES!”

Blue Team sucks.

End speech.

[femme-malewife]

Breaking Down Sia’s Movie

Okay, so I watched Sia’s movie “Music”. And I bear witnessed how awful it truly is. So before I get into this, here’s some warnings:

1. This is going to be a long post

2. There will be mentions of restraint scenes and how they’re handled as well as images. View at your own discretion.

3. There are Spoilers so if for some godforsaken reason you WANT to see this movie...don’t click “keep reading”

Okay, so before I get into the actual contents of the movie let me say the characters all suck. Not a single character was likable and the plot was barely coherent. The main character, Kazu (or just “Zu”) is a recovering alcoholic and she’s just,,, all around not a good person. She’s very irresponsible.

Ebo, her love interest, is also shitty. Not only is his character based on racism to make the white girl look heroic and brave, but he doesn’t actually know how to take care of Music, the autistic girl.

There was also this weird subplot with this fat Asian guy but we’ll get to that later.

And another thing to address there’s like about roughly 10 music videos sprinkled in throughout the movie??? And almost all except ONE of them were extremely bright and colorful and each time I had to keep looking away. Not only that but ALL of the transitions from “reality to music” was always very sudden and has sent me into sensory overload.

And one last thing before we dive into this- Music stims a lot. And yet in her music videos in her mind, she’s not stimming...like, at all. Considering Sia researched with AutismSpeaks, I’m sure she has the idea that stimming is a bad thing.

So the movie begins with Blackface and immediately we jump into extreme bright lights and music. Music wakes up, and we get a feel of her daily routine. Get up, eat eggs, have her hair braided, go on a walk, come home, watch tv, go to bed. (Or at least that’s the generalization of it) And I DO mention this schedule because it’s important later.

As we already know, Music (who is played by Maddie Ziegler, a neurotypical actress) has very exaggerated movements. She has this very weird way of walking and constantly looks like she’s doped up on medications and is high off her ass.

Everyone around her treats her like a toddler, being overly friendly and being all around accepting and caring of her.

Now I bring this up because that in itself is already problematic. It makes neurotypical people think “oh it must be great being autistic people will buy you things, give you free stuff and you’re so unaware!” when this is the furthest thing from reality. If people saw someone like Music out and about, they would be giving her dirty looks, they wouldn’t buy her free things, they’d move away from her.

Autistic people are not that accepted into society. You’re more likely to get cussed out than helped.

So Music returns home, and finds her grandmother, her previous caretaker, dead on the ground. She has no reaction, just smiling and giggling away and sits down.

One thing I noticed about Music is that she’s literally always stimming. Like, LITERALLY always. There is not a single moment on screen where she’s NOT stimming. And that’s not to say it’s bad but it feels way too forced and honestly? It felt and looked more like a mockery of autistic people who need to stim often.

So George, a man next door, came over to help fix something in the apartment. And it was only After he came in that Music got worried about her grandma. Or at least she was lowkey panicking. This is when Zu comes into the movie and gets a call and has to now come take care of Music.

Also apparently the fat Asian neighbor would??? Flash a flashlight in her room while she’s in bed and move it around as if she was some sort of cat??? I’m pretty sure that scene was just an excuse to launch into the second music video of the movie.

So Music wakes up and echoes “Make you eggs” to Zu, who makes her eggs. Remember the routine I mentioned? How Music gets her hair braided as she’s eating? Well, as Zu’s going back to bed, Music starts echoing “Braid your hair”. Zu doesn’t know how.

So Sia incorporated a meltdown scene of Music being stressed of the routine is being broken. Music starts hitting her head and thrashing around screaming “braid your hair” repeatedly. Zu not knowing what to do tries to pin her against the wall and was literally screaming at her to calm down.

And this is where we met Ebo, Zu’s love interest. He noticed Music having a meltdown and...well...

Zu questions if he’s hurting Music and...

And after that, everything is suddenly all perfectly fine because Music understands that Ebo doesn’t want her hurt and she needs to calm down. And it’s also wonderfully okay because he can braid her hair. She goes back to breakfast as if nothing happened.

Obviously this is extremely problematic. Restraining autistics during a meltdown is a very sure way to kill them. If a neurotypical is reading this and is doubtful, here is one instance of an autistic boy being restrained and killed.

After that, Zu and Ebo follow Music on her walk to get to know her route. After returning, Zu makes a comment about how she’s thinking about sending Music to a “people pound” and then adds “oh but I guess I can keep her”??? Honestly if you took this scene out of context I’d be wondering if they were actually talking about a fucking animal.

Zu later finds some of her old toys and talks to Music about them and mentions how someone “has seizures just like Music”.

Um...when did Music have seizures? This was NEVER brought up prior to this and it will never be mentioned throughout the movie. A meltdown! Is not! A seizure!!

The movie follows Zu around being irresponsible, borrowing money, and so forth.

And then we get to the park scene. Hey remember the first meltdown scene? Music had a meltdown about her routine being broken? Yeah that doesn’t happen. Zu flat out says that the change of route is good for her and Music just happily goes along with it with that dopey ass expression on her face.

Ebo explains that Music wears her headphones “because her hearing is so sensitive she can hear whispering from two rooms away”. First of all, we autistic people are NOT superhuman.

After he says that he says “she can understand everything we are saying” and yet they literally have to repeat themselves several times to get her to understand. They don’t treat her like she understands them. They treat her like a two year old who doesn’t know any better. That was literally the vibe I got throughout the entire movie, especially at some later scenes.

So Music sees some kids running around and that sends her into a meltdown. And Zu wants Ebo to restrain her like he did at the apartment and...um.

Ooooooookayyyyyy. Yeah, that’s your problem??? Okay make the tall white girl be a “hero” then.

Oh yeah just like that!

Also what the fuck is Music’s expression here??? This is a normal look for her throughout the movie and she’s having a Meltdown.

Oh and after Music “calms down” from the meltdown??? She’s back to being 100% PERFECTLY HAPPY.

AGAIN, NEUROTYPICALS, DO NOT THINK THIS IS OKAY!!!!! NONE OF US ARE LIKE THAT!!! IF YOU RESTRAIN AN AUTISTIC YOU WILL MAKE THEM PANIC MORE AND POSSIBLY KILL THEM!!!

So, we keep going on with the movie, following Zu continuing to be irresponsible and frustratingly impossible to care about.

And at one point, she has to bring Music with her to this place where she “works”. And on the way there she tells Music to “not do one of her freakouts and just get it out now”.

Um...so sorry that a meltdown is causing YOU trouble??? A MELTDOWN IS NOT A FUCKING TANTRUM!!!!!!!!!

Later, when walking, Music wanted a snowcone, so Zu got her one. While she was getting her one, Music, QUITE LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE, lays on the ground under the bench and starts to eat gum from it.

...Um. What??? Why??? To show us how “hard” it is being with an autistic girl??? Literally what was the point of this scene???

So, afterwards, Music gets stung by a bee, which she’s allergic to. Zu restrained her while she was screaming, though it was brief, it was still uncomfortable. She gets brought to the hospital and she’s gonna be okay because she had an EpiPen with her.

But the doctors say that Zu’s occupation is empty for the insurance.

And here’s where I got from pissed and annoyed to downright uncomfortable.

Zu realizes her bag is missing and for several minutes, she literally starts screaming in pure anger and frustration, at home she’s searching, throwing things, kicking things, screaming some more...

Like WHY isn’t ZU being restrained??? Why is it acceptable for her to do that but it’s bad for Music to have a meltdown??? Honestly when Zu started screaming and throwing things, I actually flinched.

Oh also during these scenes the fat Asian kid was taking Ebo’s boxing class and hugged his opponent during a match and I guess at his apartment his parents argued about that (they didn’t include subtitles on that bit as they were speaking another language....nice. Note the sarcasm.)

and the dad literally attacks his wife and throws his son aside...and the fat Asian kid dies.

So like...what was the point of the kid dude??? No, seriously, what was the point? To buy Music a watermelon pop at the start of the movie??? We didn’t get ANY information about him or ANYTHING. And he just up and dies. Like if you take all his scenes out of the movie, nothing would change.

While the kid’s dying, Zu’s so stressed that she gets drunk and tries to talk to Ebo, but she gets loud and emotional and a neighbor comes out and Zu drunkenly attacks him.

Oh, so even if Zu is drunk and attacking people, pushing them, etc, SHE doesn’t get restrained. She just gets told stop. Okay. Sure.

Zu goes to a bar, returns home after another annoying music number, and makes Music her breakfast before she goes on her walk.

Ebo visits, and he practically says “aight I’mma focus on my own health I’m out”.

Zu starts becoming actually clean after that, she and Music staying with George.

There was pretty much just a dumb montage of her life after that??? One bit was Music having ANOTHER meltdown (for unexplained reasons) and Zu grabbing her yelling to calm down.

After some time Zu decides to drop Music off at a mental health facility, and when they were there, Music suddenly starts saying “don’t go sis” and “sit down now”.

Hold up.

So this movie is telling me that Music is nonverbal, but she can say some phrases, and also she understands what’s going on and YET NO ONE IN THIS ENTIRE MOVIE HAS TREATED HER LIKE SHE’S A HUMAN BEING WHO KNOWS WHAT’S GOING ON...suddenly, out of nowhere, she knows what’s going on. She suddenly knows she’s about to be left alone and suddenly she can talk more than repeated phrases.

I...I don’t think that’s how that works there, chief!

Zu changes her mind and she and Music go to the wedding that Ebo is at. Ebo is a guest at his brother and ex-wife’s wedding. (Which he mentioned earlier in the film and said he’ll tell Zu the rest of his story later which he never does btw)

and while he’s on stage finishing his speech, which is about how he doesn’t know what love is, Zu and Music come running in and Zu goes up on stage and basically tells him she’s now clean and she’s learning to love. And suddenly Ebo’s in love with Zu and introduces her to his entire family at the wedding, share a kiss and then everyone started clapping.

...No, I’m not kidding. Everyone was applauding them. At his brother’s wedding.

They start to play a song, but then Music starts kinda quietly kinda brokenly singing, it was hard to hear but yeah.

And then it cuts to another bright music video and the movie THANKFULLY ENDS.

GOD. That was so frustrating to watch.

I hated the characters, I hated the plot, I hated how Sia chose to “represent” autistic people, it was all a one, big, irritating MESS.

And in the end, do we learn ANYTHING about autism??? NO.

In fact, if I was a neurotypical with NO knowledge of autism, I would assume autism makes you some stupid 2 year old that you need to restrain when they’re stressed.

I wish I was kidding.

Just because some autistics are incapable of fully taking care of themselves doesn’t mean they’re just “teehee brain empty everyone around me is in a super bright music video!” like what the fuck???

This movie was problemtic, offensive, and WHY is it titled “MUSIC” when literally Zu is the protagonist??? Zu is the protagonist, her main story is about her and Ebo falling in love, and her subplot was...taking care of Music.

And then the mini subplots of the movie too. I genuinely don’t understand the point of the Asian kid. And Once, Ebo mentioned needing medication but they never bring THAT up again either.

Even if you erased Music’s character entirely in this movie and it wasn’t about a recovering alcoholic taking care of her autistic sister, the movie would be trash, poorly made, poorly executed, poorly directed.

And, the site I used did NOT add any warnings about restraint NOR did it say “hey don’t restrain autistics in a meltdown” or anything. And considering this movie had 4 RESTRAINT SCENES (2 of them being fleshed out and the others being quicker)...that’s pretty bad.

All around, this movie was awful.

-50/10, I would sooner watch 2019′s Cats.

[juliabohemian]

the sky is falling

Apparently...

I have been a fan of LOKI since he first appeared on screen. I will admit that I did not seek out other fans on social media until after The Dark World. Mostly because I had a lot of other things going on in my life.

I distinctly remember being filled with hope that LOKI would appear in Age of Ultron, and being filled with hope that Ragnarok would magically resolve everything between LOKI and his family. I remember being disappointed about both. I remember having renewed hope that Infinity War or Endgame would somehow make up for those disappointments, only to be further let down by the kind of mediocre writing that is typical of blockbuster movies. That is a disappointment that many of us have shared, and even bonded over.

And I was so relieved to have a fandom where I could share my disappointment. I was happy to critically analyze what had been problematic about LOKI's story so far, even if most of it was due to poor/inconsistent writing as opposed to a conscious decision on anyone's part (minus Ragnarok, probably, but I digress). I was happy to have a place where I could write meta about problematic themes in fictional media and how they might negatively affect those who digest them.

When I found out the LOKI show was happening, I felt the same lurch in my gut that I'm sure you all felt. Will it suck? Will it just be another cash grab, using Tom Hiddleston as a lure? Even the trailers I was seeing in the months beforehand did nothing to quell my fears. The trailers were carefully edited for the sole purpose of gaining viewers for the show. Which is an almost laughable notion, since people would probably have watched it anyway. But I was still apprehensive, right up until the last minute.

Then, I watched episode one.

And I immediately realized a few things.

The first is that what we are seeing, now, is as close to 100% Tom-Hiddleston-approved as ANYTHING we have seen on screen so far. 

Take a minute to let that soak in. What we are seeing is how Tom sees LOKI. It isn't the product of someone else's editing, or someone else's vision. This isn’t a product of LOKI being a side character who they simply don’t have time to develop. This is a show about LOKI.

The second thing I realized is that this show is almost like an AU story that exists separately from everything else. So, LOKI isn't going to be exactly like any other specific version we have seen before. And that's totally fine. Because he has never been in this situation before, we have no idea how he would behave under these circumstances. It is uncharted territory.

Now, I realize that not everyone in the fandom has written fiction, or knows what it's like to construct a long narrative. I can personally attest to throwing in an occasional plot device that made slightly less sense than I would like, simply to put the story where I wanted it to be. I can also attest to completely disregarding minor aspects of canon that would have rendered my story pointless or required me to write an additional 5 chapters, simply to explain them away. That is writing, folks.

What I DO know is that we have only seen episode 1. We don't know what the big picture is yet. And I can tell you that if I had written a story and planned the whole thing out and, after posting chapter 1, people had posted giant rants about how everything I'd done so far was wrong, I would be extremely concerned about the mental health of those people. And I would hope that they would stop reading my story and go find something else to do.

From a purely scientific perspective, we don’t have enough information to draw a conclusion. And yet, I have been inundated with Chicken Little posts about how the sky is falling. I am practically getting whiplash from scrambling to unfollow these people.

This show is not going to be perfect.

There are going to be things about it that you don't like.

It is totally okay not to like the show, or to simply dislike things about it. But PLEASE PLEASE acknowledge that you not liking something does not equate to it being problematic. It doesn't even equate to an objective measurement of the show's value. It just means that YOU don't like it. I feel like a lot of LOKI fans have an image in their heads of who they think LOKI is and they feel so strongly about it, that they would assert their headcanon as being more in character than whatever Tom Hiddleston might choose to do with LOKI. And frankly, that is very sad. It also means that those people will always be disappointed, because you have zero control over what Tom chooses to do with his character.

I think that after so much continued disappointment, many LOKI fans have learned to seek their dopamine reward from criticizing LOKI content, as opposed to actually enjoying it. Because, frankly, that affords them more control over the outcome. If we go into a situation assuming it will be bad, and it turns out to be bad, we get to pat ourselves on the back for our genius. If we go into it hoping that it will be good and it ends up being bad, then we have to cope with that negative feeling. And no one wants to feel disappointed over and over again.

And I’ve realized that all the time I spent ranting about what I didn’t like about the MCU has not been good for me, mentally. It is not healthy to dwell on negative things, unless that dwelling is somehow productive. And this hasn’t been productive. It hasn’t led to anything but more ranting and whining.

I am choosing to have an open mind, not because I think that everything is going to be wonderful, but because it is the most mentally healthy thing for me to do.

I am GRATEFUL to have this show. 

Even if it ends up being less than awesome, I am still grateful to have a show that is all about LOKI, that gives us lots of Tom being LOKI on screen without anyone trying to steal the mic from him. I want to do my best to enjoy it. And so far, I am enjoying it.

And if, when the show is all over, I realize that it contained some genuinely problematic scenes or themes, I will explore those OBJECTIVELY. I will analyze them CRITICALLY.

But we're NOT there yet. 

[advocaado]

Fiction does not exist in a vacuum and absolutely can and does affect reality.

HOWEVER

Before you pin on your thought police badge and march off to start attacking people on the internet for the media they consume and create, let’s take a minute to talk about nuance and identify some actual problematic trends in media which have real life consequences.

The big question you need to ask yourself before you decry a person or piece of media is: Is that person/piece of media promoting, validating, and normalizing trends or acts that hurt real people? Or is that person/piece of media exploring a dark theme in fiction/harmlessly indulging in a kink?

Below are some examples of cases where “problematic” content in fiction is a danger to real life people, and many where it isn’t. This will not be an exhaustive list. I don’t have endless amounts of time to sit here and talk about every problem in fictional media, and even if I did, I wouldn’t, because there are many more things I’d rather do with my time.

Disclaimer: No media is 100% problem free. No human is 100% problem free. Engaging with others online to discuss problems in media is totally fine. If you don’t like something, it’s your god given right to bitch about it. Bitch to your heart’s content. Just don’t be an absolute ass cloak about it.

Example 1: Huckleberry Finn

This book famously contains racism. Is this a problem? No, not really. Listen. This book is literally about how racism is bad. The message is to not be a racist piece of shit. That’s the takeaway. If you got any other message from this book you need to work on your reading comprehension. Books that teach lessons are good things and impact society in positive ways. This book does literally the opposite of normalizing, promoting, and validating racism. It’s taught in schools for this exact reason. It’s not sugarcoated and that’s exactly what makes it powerful.

Example 2: Fairy Tail

The famous complaint about this and other works by Hiro Mashima is that the women are overly sexualized. Over sexualization of women is a big problem in media across the globe, but particularly in the media that comes out of Japan. It’s a problem that absolutely does affect real women. More on that later. But is Mashima really the big perpetuater of the kind of gross male reader voyeurism that has such a fierce grip on the anime industry? Actually, no. Not really. Yes, almost all the female characters in Fairy Tail are hot and have big boobs in a way that appeals to men. However, the lens through which Mashima tells his stories is not voyeuristic. He doesn’t go out of his way to draw panty shots or sexualize female characters nonconsensually. 9 times out of 10 the women are sexy because they want to be and do it in a way that is empowering for them. There are occasional exceptions, but by and large Fairy Tail is not the big offender of female objectification in anime. Moreover, almost all its male characters are hot and have six packs and idol hair in a way that appeals to women. Everyone is hot. There is no deeper meaning here. Enjoy this series if you like to watch hot people having fun and going on adventures together.

Example 3: Goblin Slayer

Oh, boy, Goblin Slayer. Now here’s a can of worms. Many upon many have decried GS for its inclusion of rape scenes and mentions. The goblins in GS have no females of their own species so they must impregnate human women to continue their race. This sounds utterly awful and it is. But is this finally our shining example of a dark theme in fiction that is problematic in a way that is dangerous to real people? Sorry, but no. Firstly, the concept of a fantasy creature who needs to use humans to reproduce was not invented by Kumo Kagyu and is in fact common in folklore around the world. He didn’t make it up as a way to condone rape. Could he have? Sure. But that’s not the reality of the series. The assault by goblins on human women is not treated as a good thing by Kagyu. It is shocking and horrific and has big consequences within the narrative for both the goblins and their victims. It isn’t treated lightly and does not serve to normalize, validate, or promote rape in real life. The reader/viewer is meant to be disgusted by the goblins, and these scenes, which are few and brief, serve their intended purpose. Nobody is going out and assaulting women in real life because they thought it was cool when the goblins did it in GS.

Oh, but Goblin Slayer, I’m not done with you just yet. Because while it would be a huge stretch to label the inclusion of rape in the series a danger to real life people, there’s something else that you don’t need to stretch nearly so much to identify as such. Remember when I talked about the voyeuristic male gaze being a concerning trend in anime? Well, GS has that in spades. The normalization of sexually objectifying women in non sexual situations is very much present in the series. Describing in loving detail the chest size/shape of every female character often and with gusto is a big part of the light novels. Kagyu loves to describe what a girl’s boobs are doing while she’s sitting at a table eating or doing any other mundane thing for no reason other than to sexualize her for the reader. He made the intentional decision to make Sword Maiden, a rape victim, very overtly sexual for the male gaze without the character having any agency in it. Sword maiden isn’t trying to be sexy. She doesn’t own her sexuality. Hell, she’s blind. Being sexy doesn’t empower her. She’s just fap fodder for the male reader. These things normalize objectifying women and are part of a longtime trend in anime which have real world consequences for both women and men. The sexualization of nonconsenting women is a huge problem in Japan and very much promoted through their media. Anime and light novels continue to send and perpetuate the message that objectifying women is okay and natural for boys to do, and while Kagyu certainly isn’t the worst offender, he’s happily hopped aboard that trolly because he doesn’t see anything wrong with it. And he can’t, because it’s been SO normalized.

Example 4: The Birth of a Nation.

This movie, while entirely fictional, is straight up anti-black propaganda intentionally made to spread hate and fear of black people. Obviously this is incredibly problematic and harmful to real black people. This movie was designed to be that way. The message is very clear. It’s a movie meant to rally whites against blacks, and it did. Horrifically so. Typically media containing hateful messages is less overt about it today, but abusing stereotypes and caricatures of real groups of people and otherwise intentionally perpetuating harmful ideas through fiction is a shitty thing to do and should be wholeheartedly condemned. (Note the keyword “intentionally”. If an author does this out of ignorance, which is all too common, rather than condemn we should seek to educate. People are capable of learning and growing and canceling them for mistakes made in ignorance is every bit as shitty as the mistake they made in the first place.)

Example 5: Fanfiction and shipping

At last, we come to fan media. This is where “don’t like don’t read” becomes the golden rule. Indulging in a kink or exploring dark themes in fanfiction is harmless 99.9% of the time. Fanfiction simply doesn’t have the reach, and thereby the influence, that mainstream media has. If someone wants to write something really fucked up, that’s their choice and nobody is making you read it. Unless the author is outright condoning harming real people, it’s really not your business what they choose to write about. Furthermore, deciding to read fucked up fanfiction does NOT make you a bad person. As stated before, the human psyche is messy and the world is not squeaky clean or a safe place. People are drawn to dark things and there’s really nothing wrong with that so long as real people aren’t being harmed. If something makes you uncomfortable, don’t engage. Protect yourself. You’re not making the world a better place by harassing people online. You’re just being a jerk and honestly doing far more harm to real ass people than that 20 year old writer on AO3 who wanted to write a story about Sasuke having sex with Naruto’s son because of 10 years of repressed sexual impulses toward Naruto.

I could say more but I’m tired and ready to celebrate my Friday by getting drunk. Feel free to interact if you want, just do everyone a favor and don’t be a dick.

TLDR

Things that make you a bad person:

Murdering people

Sexually assaulting/harassing people

Having sex with children

Creating or indulging in porn of real minors

Harassing and sending death threats to real people over the fictional media they create and consume

Espousing, condoning, or perpetuating hate toward marginalized peoples

Espousing, condoning, or perpetuating hate toward anyone tbh

Using fiction as a vehicle to promote, validate, and normalize causing harm to real people

Generally being an ass cloak

Things that DON’T make you a bad person

Consuming media that contains problematic elements

Creating media that contains problematic elements so long as you aren’t promoting, validating, and normalizing harmful acts toward real people

Writing fanfiction

Reading fanfiction

Shipping whatever you goddamn want to ship

[lover-of-trash-and-people]

bittersweet netflix shadow and bone finale (s1 e8) rewatch; accoutrement: white wine with ice cubes in it (no YOU'RE a mom drink shh)

my wine's like fruity I love her

light and darkness title card we love to see it

Inej looking at Alina before she goes below deck to hide <3

okay that 'what can you really do on your own' was like not fun that shit hurted

okay but Jesper's 'not enough'? <3

oh no my baby Zoya's first inkling that Darkles does not really care

omg Helnik just appeared and I remembered how much heartbreak I have to face in this episode

gods I love Danielle as Nina so so much

'this can't be it' said she with her pleading smile with downturned eyebrows MA'AM I-

don't break my dumb little heart

I might hate Calahan's little accent but they're making me tear up

oh gods I literally cannot keep a hold on myself when Dani's accent bleeds through with full force, it's like she comes more alive or smth

'I will keep you warm' SIR WHAT-

I am surprised they showed a leaning in for a kiss so soon but I'm not mad about it

her little eyebrow twitch at 'what are waffles'

when that rando said 'i hunt slavers now' a dread settled into me because I knew what was about to go down

Matthias looking somberly at the stuffed wolf's head </3

I am so incredibly entranced by this exchange between Fedyor and Nina and what it represents, it's very interesting that they pushed up their storyline to match with the timeline

damn it's kind of jarring to be back in the Fold

'REMEMBER WHO'S DRIVING'??!!!! *you better stop* meme, *i am, disgusted* meme, *oh wow, oh wow* meme

Mal you fucking idiot you could never take the crows by surprise

the music rising as Kaz starts explaining his thought process, fucking perfection

haha Mal bitchass Inej caught you

'Because if he isn't with Kirigan's crew, he's with ours' WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED

'And why would we destroy the Fold? It's the greatest weapon we've got' valid point at the moment but you know I don't necessarily agree with your methods

the use of the light tunnel in the show instead of Alina just being a super flashlight in the books is quite an interesting addition as well

is this an inappropriate time to point out how pretty Ben Barnes is

okay I kind of love the depiction of the shadow powers okay sue me

'they are traitors who tried to kill you' why are you suddenly making valid points despite having kind of committed low scale genocide

'i never said I was smart' YES MAL BE THE VOICE OF HIMBOS EVERYWHERE

Kaz's face going from 'can you believe this idiot' at Mal to 'fuck me I'm gonna do the same thing aren't I' at Inej

'For who would oppose us now?' *himbo romantic rival appears out of nowhere and shoots at him* god I love this show

him standing calmly in his ridiculous all black attire after nodding at his soldier to stop the himbo in his tracks, i fucking can't

could she summon light without the Darkling making her after he put the collar on her until the uhm moment in the books? idts but in the show she can hmm

'only because I'm not in the game' you tell him Jesper

not me snickering at 'you'll be seen not as a saviour, but as a heretic' LMFAO

'Shame. I'll have to give that speech again now.' THIS SHOW IS A FUCKING COMEDY AND YOU CAN'T PROVE ME WRONG

YES LET'S FUCKING GO SULI SOLIDARITY

Darkles casually whipping the Cut out like a shuriken or a throwing knife at Jesper because he shot at him lmao I can't

INEJ FUCKING GHAFA STABBED ONE THE OLDEST AND MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE IN THAT WORLD AND THAT IS VERY TELLING OF HER POWER

that moment where you actually think that affected him despite having read the books and watched the show

and then he has to go and fucking say 'it will take more than this' and I can't be help but be a little bit impressed at this old fool's resilience

throwback to when he said 'the king is a child' sir you make some valid points sometimes and it does make it difficult to hate you

I would just like to inform everyone that it is currently 6:09 am IST and I am sipping my second mug of wine while watching netflix sab for the second time instead of doing my three papers that are due tomorrow

I'm sorry but Inej jumping to check on Zoya after she gets knocked over by the volcra? first class display of solidarity and sisterhood as well as Inej's inherent kindness

Kaz jumping in front of a FUCKING VOLCRA AND STABBING IT WITH HIS CANE to save Inej, you best believe love is true, kids

god the volcra are so ugly and gross, they did such a good job with them

they kind of remind me of these creatures (I think they might have been called Hollows or smth) from the Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children movie

STAG VISION TIME

despite my dislike for the callous nature with which the stag plotline was handled, I kind of dig the stag vision scene

'It's just me and you now, Alina. And we're all we need, anyway.' I actually feel bad for this old fool simping for this wonderful gorgeous powerful woman despite lying to her and manipulating her and exploiting her power

okay 'I never needed you' *stabs the bone fragment out of his hand* beautiful power move I fucking love you so so much

alright ben looking like ✨ that✨ not only in physical pain but also emotional pain at what the Darkling clearly considers another betrayal from this girl he wants to give the world and maybe? loves? maybe? or at least has feelings for makes my fucking heart hurt while simultaneously soar at Alina taking back control and reclaiming her power as her own and stepping into her own

'how do you claim such power' okay could have had better dialogue there writers

the fucking score lifting as she says 'you cannot claim what was not given to you' good people my heart is full

one day I'll talk about my defense of the chosen one trope because god damn I kind of love it

hmm I wonder was that brief hesitation that we saw on Alina's face due to her thinking about the 'you chose to betray our people' comment or the 'i was trying to save us' comment because that will define some of her actions in the later seasons (hopefully god if we get some, I honestly don't know what with this stupid brownface debacle)

I'm not saying talking about brownface and pointing out that it is wrong (for further context, I am actually brown) and harmful is stupid btw I'm talking about the incidents involving brownface in question

I don't wanna talk about this anymore but I might feel like I need to and end up posting about it idk

goodness Ivan actually believing in this cause makes me so sad because he too has been victimized by the system that ostracizes Grisha and he has every right to feel the way that he does

Ben actually fighting in that ridiculously heavy cloak and kefta when he's about to turn 40 this year makes me super impressed because I as a 19 year old sometimes wake up with muscle pulls after weeks of inactivity it's weird idk

also I understand that this Mal Darkling fight is completely fanservice and serves nearly no purpose to the plot in general but like I? love it?

'I don't have to kill you Darkling. Your past will do it for me' YES HIMBO GO OFF YOU TELL THAT OLD MAN GODS THAT WAS SEXY AS FUCK

maybe it's because I know Darkles will survive and will come out of it more powerful but I can't get myself to feel bad for him at the moment

Inej and Mal tearing up at Alina's condition made me almost feel something despite it being super obvious she was gonna be fine and save their asses at the last moment

HER POWER

a solitary Kaz in spotted on the western side of the newly expanded fold in his signature all black emo boy look

okay but the crows with zoya and malina is such an adorable team? I literally love them so much?

INEJ'S FUCKING SMILE AT ALINA GIVING HER THE DAGGER AND KAZ LOOKING AT HER AGSGSGSHSJSJSK MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE

SHE KNOWS JUST WHAT TO NAME IT WELL GIRLIE I KNOW IT TOO AND MY FUCKING HEART IS LITERALLY GONNA BURST

okay I know they had one interaction but Mal and Jesper would be besties in another universe

Kaz glaring at Jesper when he answers ''course not' to Alina's 'will you still be trying to kidnap me?' tell me one fucking adaptation that got the dynamics between characters this perfectly

okay why do I love that Alina kept the jewellery as maybe a small nod to she has the wits to, um, you know, I don't wanna say steal, but, um, yeah, steal it because she knew she would need money to survive on the run

oh Jessie I love you so much I wish you hadn't said those things on you ig story about the brownface

it's like every single celeb I grow attached to god's like nope that one is going to do or say something problematic (hey btw im not reassigning blame to god for stuff people have done out of their own free will, 'twas a joke)

AAAAAAAH them saying 'the deal is the deal' in the show even though they didn't have to but like they did and I love them for it

Inej literally not being able to not stare at Kaz's face and smile after this <3

'I didn't expect it to burn at all. But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him' babe you're not wrong but like um just you wait

god Mal being on supportive boyfie mode is well, absolutely adorable, obviously, but I wish we got to see more of him as a person outside of his attachment to Alina

kaz my little demjin I wish you hadn't have had to suffer so much to meet the crows and find your calling

fastforwarding Zoya's arc is also an interesting choice to me

I wish the hug hadn't been done though, it didn't feel earned

maybe Alina awkwardly and half-heartedly (remember, at this point the alliance is fresh and they still don't entirely trust each other) reached for a hug and Zoya avoided her? and then the rest of Zoya's lines followed? that would have made more sense to me at least

I love Sujaya as well, she brought life into Zoya with whatever little screentime and scraps of writing she got

inej asking kaz 'what's your angle?' beep bop bleep morp I sense another incoming embarrassing love confession

'but we do need you' *stares at her face intensely* 'I need you' ah look at the clock, look's like it's time to screech and flap your arms like you're a volcra because you're incapable of containing your emotions

NO YOU CAN'T GO DIRECTLY FROM KANEJ PROGRESS TO HELNIK BREAKUP (TEMPORARY, MIND YOU)

helnik my loves you don't deserve this I'm so sorry for both of you

Matthias fucking smiling ruefully while he says 'this was... just a cruel joke all along' THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY

omg hellgate

AAAAAAAAH NINA IS ON THE SAME FRAME AS THE OG CROWS I CAN'T HANDLE THIS

CAMERA PAN FROM KAZ SAYING 'JUST HOW THIS ALL STARTED... WE'RE GONNA NEED A HEARTRENDED' TO NINA OVERHEARING HIM AND LOOKING OVER?????!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME?!

Nina genuinely being curious as to the status of the sun saint because she obviously still cares

Also, 'But she is a Saint' okay Kaz trying to earn brownie points you have succeeded

DID THAT SAILOR JUST SAY 'GOED MORGEN FENTOMEN' TO MALINA BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY WITH THEM JUST THROWING THAT IN MY FACE ALL OF A SUDDEN

gods I know I'll probably see them again but my heart is full of sorrow as my eyes drink in the sight of my crows for the last time for a while

I know people were annoyed at the meadow flashbacks but guess what? as a darklina, I loved them

'now that the Darkling is dead' could have phrased that a little differently my dudes that line needed to hold more weight

am I glad that they showed Darkles in this state with his nichevo'ya as a tasty little cliffhanger despite not being entirely true to the source material? maybe but only because Ben Barnes saying 'follow' and the nichevo'ya doing exactly so sent a chill down my spine

well, that's it for now, I'll have to move on I guess, get back to my real life which I'm obviously not ready to do

thank you to whoever actually read these things

I probably should have just made reactions or commentary videos instead but I'm lazy

my tumblr will probably go into inactivity once more as I emerge from my stint in the grishaverse

it was quite short (less than 2 months), considering the length of my other obsessions but it was definitely more intense than the other ones

[gesternchen]

Just randomly reviewing scenes from the movies no one remembers now. This week: Avatar (2009).

It’s not like everyone forgot James Cameron’s Avatar. Since we’re still getting some footage from behind the scenes of the sequel and news about the cast, at least someone takes pains to remind themselves of this cinematic experience from the year of 2009. It’s already been 84 (just kidding, 11) years and I’m still looking forward to at least watching the teaser (fun fact: I was 11 when Avatar came out, I’m 22 now). I even bought the Darkhorse comic book on Tsu’Tey’s backstory to, you know, investigate one of my favorite characters a little bit better (spoiler: the backstory wasn’t very much eventful but I noticed a nice detail there which I may talk about briefly a bit later).

Throughout the years Avatar has received a lot of backlash and more or less justified criticism, mainly for the plot and its problematic packaging. I believe, it depends on the perspective one watches a movie from. Of course, I wouldn’t call it an absolute gem of exciting storytelling, even though I truly enjoy it, as in majority its twists are undeniably predictable. However, I always disagreed with people saying relations in Avatar aren’t deep at all. Well, romance between Jake and Neytiri, which, let’s be honest, except for the scene of telling the truth, went too smoothly, and this is why I strongly believe clash of interests is inevitable in sequels. Their interaction remained the key one for the whole movie, and nothing is bad about that, people enjoy a nice lovestory, so do I. But 11 years after I’d like to focus on the disturbing conflict everyone prefers to ignore for some reason when recalling Avatar. For me it’s always been Jake versus Colonel Quaritch.

You guys may have already guessed which scenes I wanna talk about. Those really important ones that I consider climactic to the pace of narration. And what is more about them, they give us crucial details in character development and actors’ play to think through. The main message: Quaritch knew it was coming.

Let me firstly touch upon the scene of short conversation between Jake and Quaritch prior to Sully presumably leaving Pandora. While Jake is awating Quaritch in a large empty hall, he hardly seems to be calm about the talk, every nerve in his body is trembling, but why?

The way Jake’s drumming his fingers on the table makes me wonder if he’s okay.

Then Colonel enters the hall, grabs a chair and reminds that it had been more than two weeks since he got the latest report on how the misson was going. He knows, Sully is questioning reality, and no, he’s not ‘doubting his resolve’. He knows, the right moment to ‘terminate the mission’ is missed. He knows, he lost Jake. He knows, he’s talking to the deserter. Yet Quaritch speaks indifferent. He praises Jake’s effort and rewards him for that. With real legs he promised to him when they first talked. Quaritch hoped they’d trigger the realization in Jake. Which doesn’t happen. How sad he looks when Jake openly refuses to accept the reward.

In just one sequence Stephen’s face demonstrates the shift of all four feelings Quaritch goes through: dissatisfaction, melancholy, shame, disgust.

Quaritch sensed the moment when Jake expressed superiority to the mankind. Jake grasped that Quaritch knew everything, he played with fire, and that’s why he felt anxiety. And it lasted all the way until Quaritch stepped back for leaving the hall. But did Colonel really surrender? I doubt that.

The tension between them both feels electric, so it’s explainable why Jake’s transient smile is so awkward. Sam then heavily staring straight at Colonel's back suggests that up until now Jake regarded Quaritch as his enemy. The enemy he knew he would not be able to defeat.

I remember when watching this scene, I couldn’t get myself the answer to one question. The question was: which report did Quaritch refer to? ‘That report from two weeks ago’, but such information wasn’t satisfactory for me. To be honest, this small discovery became the actual reason why I decided to type this study. Let’s assume that this particular report which Quaritch mentioned was the videolog where Jake confessed that Omaticaya wouldn’t leave the Hometree. Here’s why.

The general audience is used to perceiving Quaritch as a cruel short-tempered military man who just waits for the starting pistol’s shot to destroy everything in sight. Again, nothing is wrong about this, the fact that his character was simply meant to be a generic personification of such type doesn’t leave us with any alternative impression of him. Let’s say, if he was given the order to ignite the operation of the Hometree’s destruction to screw the tribe out of the site, he would absolutely go for it (and so he does). He’s a man of his word after all. Let’s also say, if he was pissed off by Jake’s betrayal, he would transport himself to the mountain site in a blink of an eye, turn off the link and put Jake in jail right after the talk in the hall. Instead, Quaritch decided to wait and give Jake the last chance. Jake preffered unearthly wings to those more tangible, so Quaritch chose not to cut them so abruptly.

We’re moving to the next scene, taking place right before a toned down fight between Tsu’Tey and Jake (I’m saying so, because it’s actually one of the deleted scenes that got edited out of the final cut, and believe me, the pressure between two rivals there is way too intense). Quaritch is watching the record of Jake destroying bulldozer’s lenses with a stone. After that Jake’s face is zoomed and we watch Selfridge get frustrated, Quaritch looks pretty annoyed as well but doesn’t seem to be much surprised. What he’s feeling, is bitter disappointment in himself and knowing that he totally failed to persuade Jake to change his mind.

Just observe Stephen Lang’s performance here. He absolutely nails cold-eyed look, the fire burning slow inside of him is so palpable, and guess what, in a flash he flies off the handle.

Now, shall we check the ultimate scene, preceding the destruction of the Hometree. Though Grace versus Parker juxtaposition is central to this scene, the last time Quaritch confronting Jake face to face in his human body is essential to consider for making things clear.

When it comes to revealing to Selfridge the vainness of further negotiations with Omaticaya, isn’t it just interesting how fast Quaritch manages to find the correct videolog? It literally takes him not more than a couple of swipes to produce the proof. Here is why: he’s already watched the record and is completely aware of the Jake’s values having deteriorated.

You can tell, Jake knew he was under control, but he would rather like to ingnore this fact. His pathetic glance at Quaritch, who’s almost impending above his head, causes to think Jake would guess that Colonel could have watched this videolog. Rather, it was a mutual secret between the two of them until a turning point. But the moment of truth came, and Jake didn’t change his mind. Quaritch made sure of that and finally it was his time to triumph.

So how was it even possible to assume Quaritch may have watched the videolog I’ve been talking about for so long? Well, my explanation may be too easy to believe, but still: we can tell by Jake’s appearance and the date of the record that it is the vlog we need.

This telltale videolog was recorded 16 minutes after the another one, when Jake says that he’s uncertain, who he is anymore (LST abbreviation stands for Local Standard Time). Jake might have suddenly felt depressed and hopeless and got back to the camera while being too emotionally instable, and so must have forgotten to delete the final record.

I have one more note for you. If you check the videolog library Quaritch is swiping through, you’ll see that the latest important record, which he actually needs, is made in the interior of the mountain site block and dates back to August, 13. Other recent vlogs’ covers look nothing like Site 26 sequence. Jake may not have done any of these records at the mountain site. I still wonder though where those three or four ensuing videologs were recorded, the location seems to be red lighted, which means it isn’t blue lighting at Site 26. I may even assume he recorded some pieces at Hell’s Gate. Why would I think so? Probably because in those two scenes (dialog with Quaritch and confession at Parker’s office) Jake looks ten times better than before, he gained some weight at least and doesn’t resemble a living sceleton.

Selfridge gave Jake an hour to relocate the tribe, while gunships led by Colonel’s Dragon were already on full alert. Quaritch had no doubt that Jake’s peacekeeping mission would fail. He knew it from the beginning. Hence he sounds so sarcastic seeing Sully’s avatar tied.

Now Quaritch sipping his villain’s morning coffee tasting like fresh genocide doesn’t feel so cringy: he’s celebrating his victory over Jake (still I should agree with critisism on this point, it really is a stupid cliche and wasn’t intended to carry a deep meaning).

Now I should admit, it’s been a long journey to run this investigation and bring it to light by finally posting it. It took me around a day to collect my thoughts and express them by means of more or less readable English. Just would like to make a little side note: English is not my native, so I promise I did my best! Thanks to James Cameron for making a movie, which woke me up in the middle of the night to start reflecting, and to all the fans out there who still exist and remember this movie and so can read this essay. @avatarmovies I found your blog not so long ago and you guys say you enjoy headcanons (and movie reviews probably?..), so it would be nice if you reblogged this but I’m not insisting!!

[aomineavenue]

Homesick (Miya Atsumu x Reader) Intro

Summary: Six years ago, L/N Y/N wouldn’t exactly say that she loves her life. It had always been problematic but her best friend, Miya Atsumu, since she was eight when she moved to Hyōgo, has always been there for her, and she wouldn’t change it for the world. However, things would always fall apart for her ever since, so she should have expected of such. Running away from her problems seemed like the easiest route to take at the time, so what happens when the past comes barging back into her life demanding answers? Will she be able to confront her demons?

Pairings: Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Genre: Angst, ANGST I LOVE ANGST, a lil bit of fluff here and there.

Warnings: Language, etc. (Will be mentioned once posted because I don’t want spoilers huehue)

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters except for the reader and my ideas. I do not claim any images used for content in this fic, everything goes out to their respective creators unless it is mentioned that it is mine.

Status: ongoing. | series masterlist

intro | the unexpected  ↪

Everybody loves the things you do.

You can't exactly recall the moment that everything seemed to change or rather, fall apart. Well, if you were going to be honest, you expected everything to fall apart sooner rather than later but there you were, watching him get cheered on in the middle of the school grounds of Inarizaki High. Why? Well, the girl he apparently had a crush on had been eating out his face as if her life depended on it. It crushed you.

What did you expect? The two of you were never official, nor did he ever hinted at the idea of the two of you becoming official. This is what you should have expected, right? He was never yours, to begin with, you were just a friend he occasionally fucked with on the side to relieve his stress, no big deal.

So, why had the scene in front of you, broke your heart?

Right, maybe because of the fact that your best friend since you were eight years old, Miya Atsumu, has owned your heart for as long as you can remember.

  Everybody here is watching you.

You watched as the two broke apart, with eat-shitting grins plastering their perfectly shaped faces. The cheers that erupted within the vicinity were almost deafening. What hurts the most was that your best friend, your little 'ol fuck buddy, searched the crowd and his eyes locked with your own. There wasn't any sign of regret, it was as if he was silently communicating with you to accept that whatever the two of you had in secret, would inevitably end, however, you pretty much puzzled that out already, the sight you had witnessed indicated the obvious, you didn’t need it to be spelt out for you. It took every bit of you not to spin around and walk away from the man that had broken your heart into bits and pieces, but the friend in you couldn't seem to do such a thing, instead, you tried your best to flash him an encouraging smile.

Yes, Miya Atsumu had broken your little pathetic heart.

You're like a dream come true.

You recalled the first time you had met Miya Atsumu. You had just moved in next door from Kanagawa. You had been dejected of the move, reluctant to help your parents settle down. You had been forced to leave your friends and every little thing that mattered to you. Honestly, you were ridiculous at the time. You were practically eight years old, and you were already moaning about how your life had already ended for leaving your friends behind.

That is until the Miya Atsumu introduced himself to you with his cheeky little smile.

"Hi!" he greeted in a yell like manner causing you to shriek and spin around to face the intruder, warmth spreading across your cheeks in embarrassment, "My mom told me we have new neighbours and to bring this over. I'm Miya Atsumu, but you can call me Atsumu because it might confuse you since I have a twin. His name's Osamu!"

You flickered your gaze shyly over to the identical boy standing beside him looking uninterested. He sighed, "I can introduce myself you know,"

The boy you have come to know as Atsumu ignored his retort before handing over the small tray in his hands, "It's my mom's speciality, beef stew. It's one of my favourites. Oh by the way, what's your name?"

You blinked as you slowly grabbed the tray from his grasp as you mumbled your name underneath your breath. You felt your cheeks grow warmer as he repeated your name with a wide grin plastered on his face.

You didn't even know what was so memorable of how you met the Miya twins, or more importantly, how you met the rather annoying Atsumu, that you had somehow miraculously learned what the word 'crush' meant. It wasn't as if it was the first time you had been friends with the opposite sex. Before moving to Hyōgo, majority of your friends from elementary school in Kanagawa were boys, so how did you end up liking the now blonde twin?

It was life's many mysteries. However, what you had witnessed made you wish that you had fallen for the other twin instead, who had been looking at you with sympathy in his eyes as soon as he spotted you. You simply shook your head, smiling sadly. Osamu, bless the caring twin, had always known of your feelings for his brother and somehow figured out the arrangement the two of you shared upon entering Second Year in Senior High School. He expressed a few times for you to reveal your feelings, but you pushed it to the very back of your mind. You didn't know if Atsumu was completely oblivious to your blunt feelings or that he probably lacked some very important brain cells. You had thought he just didn't want to acknowledge it and pushed it aside, but what had pushed the two of you to have such an arrangement in the first place?

You somehow wished it never happened in the first place.

You look like a movie, You sound like a song.

Warmth.

It was the only word in your intoxicated mind that you could find during the first time his lips wandered delicately across your skin as if it were a map, the way his lips brushed against your skin marked that he had successfully visited places that night. You didn't know how two friends who were teasing each other about how the other hadn't been intimate with their past lovers escalated into that, but the passion burning through you at the time, feeling his hands and lips against places that were supposed to be forbidden for a man that you shared no intimate relationship with were enough to fight back the protests that were bubbling in your mind. It was intoxicating. It was warm. It was Atsumu.

If you were to lose your virginity, who would be better than your best friend himself, right? Wrong.

When you think about it, despite the lovely idea of losing each other's virginity to each other as best friends, it was only because you had been madly in love with Atsumu, thinking that when it was over, he would finally man up and take a step forward with whatever the two of you had, and the two of you were to be finally happy together. Of course, your love for your best friend won over and you were forced to accept your faith that it meant little to him than it did to you.

Despite Atsumu not returning your feelings after the whole thing, you tried your best to put on a smile and be there for your friend, no matter how painful it was. You hadn't expected it of course, when a particularly stressful day for Atsumu would lead to the arrangement of you being the one to release his stress during your second years. You kept your feelings locked away in a chest and hid the key, you didn't want to complain.

Fear had crept its way into the very front of your mind, constantly eating you out, day and night. To complain and push Atsumu away to put your feelings first, only meant you'd lose him. It was inevitable, you decided then. The two of you shared such intimacy more ways than one and somehow reverting it to the way it was before deemed impossible.

You couldn't bear the thought of losing Atsumu. Not as a secret lover, but as a best friend. You didn't want to admit it, but he was the only one you had left. Sure you had other friends, but Atsumu was your partner in crime. From the moment you met him, to before the two of you shared such reckless intimacy, he had been your rock. Sure, there were things you weren't willing to confide with him due to personal reasons, but he was there. Ever since your father had passed away, things were rocky with your mother. Your relationship with your mother had worsened throughout the years after your father's passing, and not even Atsumu knows the extent of it. You couldn't bring yourself to express such, you didn't want anyone's pity. You just needed Atsumu's warmth, whether it was intimate or not.

You can't help but admit at how pathetic you've become for someone who didn't reciprocate such feelings, but what were you to do?

Let me photograph you in this light, in case it is the last time.

As you stood there, you felt hopeless. It seemed as if the cheers surrounding you failed to cease. It was as if it grew louder, almost taunting you.

You didn't want to ruin the moment though. They seemed perfect for each other, too perfect together. Happy in their little world with their friends surrounding them—cheering, congratulating, teasing the new happy couple, and you stood there, outside of their inner circle, pathetically. You kept your gaze on Atsumu as if to devour his features, afraid that your mind might have suddenly decided to erase him.

You caught Osamu from the corner of your eye, his twitching not so subtle. His body language screamed of wanting to comfort you but all you could do was shake your head to prevent such action. You didn't want to feel any more pathetic than you already did.

After another painful second to capture his features, you spun around facing the school's gate, heart-clenching as tears now slowly formed in the corners of your eyes. You wanted to scream. You wanted to break down there and then. You felt sick.

"Hey!" You heard him call out and you didn't think your heart could handle another but it felt as if he squeezed your heart once again, "Where you going? We have class soon."

You swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of your throat, your shoulders grew tense at the feeling of his close proximity. His familiar scent instantly engulfed you but what bothered you the most that it was mixed with a scent you're unfamiliar with. You didn't have to turn to look for its identity, you knew she was standing next to him, clung to his arm as if her life depended on it, afraid Atsumu would be snatched away from her. You couldn’t blame her, you would have done the same if you could. "I–I don't feel so good. I'm going to skip." You stuttered, letting out a laugh to cover up your constricted voice.

"Oh. Well," you heard her speak as if she was part of the conversation, "Let's leave her be, 'sumu."

He agreed almost instantly, "Right. You get home safe, yeah? Get better soon."

You heard their footsteps retreat and your heart taking a final blow and completely shattering to the ground. He didn't even bother to wait for a reply. Without looking back, you left the school premises. You left without saying goodbye.

It was just like a movie. It was just like a song.

The nauseating air wrapped tightly around you, almost making it difficult to breathe. When you had walked home, you let the tears flow almost instantly, not bothering to give an ounce of attention to the people who had looked towards your direction in pity or as if you had grown two heads the past hour. You were grateful that your mother and her new boyfriend had not been around at the time of your early return, not like she would care for your tears or how you had skipped school.

It was now or never, you had thought to yourself as you stared at the packed luggage on your bed. Earlier during the day, you hadn't exactly planned this. Running away from your problems seemed almost too cliche for you at the time. Scared to the bone, you still opted to approach your best friend about your predicament. However, as you entered the school grounds, well—it was obviously a sight you were not exactly expecting nor was it pleasant for you to witness, something you wish that could be erased from your mind completely.

The idea spilling the truth to Atsumu had been instantly tossed to the nearest bin. You didn't know if it was just your emotions deciding but you knew it was for the best. You couldn't stay here. Not anymore. Your mother would most certainly throw you out as soon as she had found out, not like it had been home to you in a long time.

So as you entered the empty house you once thought that radiated comfort and warmth, you decided it was best to disappear. A lot of factors that resulted in this decision piled up one by one as soon as you woke up for the day. And what was the root of it all?

Two pink lines.

That was six years ago.

[365days365movies]

April 12, 2021: Mrs. Doubtfire (1992) (Recap)

Hey, Robin Williams. Been a while.

I’m sorry that I haven’t watched your movies for a while, and that I always skip your comedy stand-up when my phone’s on shuffle. I just...let me explain. Since I was a kid, you were one of my favorite entertainers. That might as well have started the day I was born, because...well, we share a birthday, fun fact. But it definitely continued with the first movie I ever saw in theatres.

While I don’t quite remember the first time I saw it, Aladdin was one of my favorite childhood movies, and I knew that you were the voice of the Genie from an early age. You might have actually been the first actor I ever knew by name. Which makes sense, because your stardom during the ‘90s was nearly unparalleled.

The next film I remember seeing (and hearing) you in was Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. That also starred Tim Curry, who would also be a major figure of my childhood. It also wasn’t the best movie, in hindsight, but it is the only time I’ve heard you rap since.

But eventually, I watched your forays into live-action, too. Jumanji, Hook, even the objectively bad Flubber, are all movies that I vividly remember watching during childhood. I was really excited for Flubber, even, and I LOVED Jumanji growing up. I liked Hook, too, but I appreciated that more as I got older.

Of course, during this time period, you also made less family-friendly films. The Fisher King, Good Will Hunting, Dead Poets Society, Good Morning Vietnam, and What Dreams May Come were all very successful, and cemented your reputation as an actor. I also haven’t seen any of them. In fact...I don’t think I’ve seen any of your dramatic roles, and that’s something that I’ll fix this year. Hell, in a few days, I’ll watch The Birdcage, another of your big hits of the ‘90s.

But why haven’t I seen them up to now? Well...I was going to watch these films, about seven years ago. But...I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it. Because it hurts. A lot.

I know that this is a downer, but my relationship with Robin Williams today is tainted by his tragic death. I was fucking BROKEN when his death was announced, and I really haven’t been able to watch him since. I’ve seen Aladdin recently, but that’s about all I could stand to watch. I mean, the guy shares a birthday with me! I’ve always loved his comedy stylings, and his improvisational skills are something I’ve internalized to a certain degree.

So, yeah. This one’s tough. But, it’s about time I moved on, and celebrated the man’s career for what it was: stellar. And that also brings up an important question, that some of you have probably asked by now:

HOW HAVE I MISSED MRS. DOUBTFIRE, WHAT THE FUCK

I KNOW I KNOW OK?

Look, I’m not entirely sure how I haven’t seen this movie, because I’m MORE than aware of it! I remember it airing during the ‘90s, my Dad AND girlfriend love this movie, and I know FOR A FACT that my family owned both the DVD AND THE VHS of this movie! So, how? HOW HAVE I NOT SEEN IT BY NOW?

I honestly have no idea, but let’s fix it now, huh? Yet one more man-dresses-as-woman movie this month! And no, I am not watching White Chicks...because I’ve already seen White Chicks. Also, it’s...problematic.

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

 Recap

Daniel Hillard (Robin Williams) is a voice-actor, and a good one. Which, given that it’s Robin Williams, isn’t entirely inaccurate. He’s also a voice actor with a spine, as he morally objects to a scene in the cartoon that he’s performing for, in which the main character smokes. By the way, I’m 99% sure that this cartoon is animated by Chuck Jones, and it looks well-made.

Anyway, this leads to him quitting the cartoon altogether, and allows him to pick up his kids early from school. These kids are Lydia (Lisa Hykub), Chris (Matthew Lawrence), and Natalie (Mara Wilson), and it’s Chris’ 12th birthday. Daniel arranges a...surprisingly large party, given that it’s completely impromptu, and it comes with a petting zoo and complete trappings. However, it’s not a party of which his wife will approve.

This wife is Miranda (Sally Field), a successful architect and the breadwinner of the family. After getting a call from the neighbor about the party, she comes home and busts the outrageous party. And for the record, I’m entirely on Miranda’s side here. This party is INSANE, and very irresponsible, given the fact that Daniel currently has no job. And yeah, he’s a very loving father, and a good person, but...it’s too much.

Miranda feels the same, and after 14 years of frustration, she realizes that she no longer loves Daniel. In a genuinely sad scene, she tells him that she wants a divorce. And she goes through with it MUCH to Daniel’s detriment. He has no home, as he’s staying with his brother, Frank (Harvey Fierstein) and his partner Jack (Scott Capurro). He also still has no job, meaning that he has no way to provide for his children. This means that he has no ability to provide, and the judge awards Miranda full custody. Oof.

However, this is a conditional arrangement, as another hearing for joint custody will be held in 3 months, and if Daniel can get a home and job in that time, he has a chance. He performs a litany of voices and impressions with his court liason, Mrs. Sellner (Anne Haney), which amuses me, but not her, and he gets a job in order to be with his kids for more than one day a week.

Meanwhile, Miranda IMMEDIATELY starts dating fellow designer and old flame Stuart Dunmeyer (Pierce Brosnan), like, almost before Daniel leaves the house. He bids a heartfelt goodbye to his kids, with the promise that he’ll see them on Saturdays. And now begins the absolute hatred and petty bitchiness of Daniel and Miranda! Seriously, it’s...it’s fucking terrible, and it takes away from my sympathy from either side. I get that divorce is rough and ugly, but GODDAMN, neither of them perform the act with any form of tact or grace.

This is put on display during the kids’ visitation to Daniel’s semi-crappy new apartment, which doesn’t even seem that bad, to be honest. Miranda dropped them off late and picked them up early, as if to slowly starve Daniel of time with his kids, which is extraordinarily shitty of her, fuck me. Daniel’s not taking it well, understandably, but then does something...really dumb, when you think about it.

See, Miranda’s looking for a nanny, to help watch the kids and clean the house during the week. Daniel volunteers his services, which is actually a good idea, but Miranda says she’ll think about it, which we ALL know means no. I DO NOT like Miranda, even if I understand the initial reasons for the divorce. She’s being especially spiteful, and it’s not a good look.

Daniel’s stupid idea, though, is to change the phone number on the ad for the nanny, which Miranda shows him before she takes the kids. Instead, he calls her number, and pretends to be various terrible applicants, until finally supplying his own applicant: the completely fictional Euphegenia Doubtfire (Daniel Hillard).

Daniel plays Mrs. Doubtfire as an elderly British woman, and a seasoned nanny in her day. Which is why it’s weird to me that, when he does to Frank and Jack to help him make an elaborate disguise as Mrs. Doubtfire, that they go through various other impressions and get-ups. Which, yes, is goddamn hilarious, but also makes NO SENSE, given that they’ve already established her character to Miranda. Funny, but nonsensical.

But, regardless, Euphegenis Doubtfire comes into being, and introduces herself to Miranda and the kids. Mrs. Doubtfire is exactly what Miranda’s looking for, although the kids aren’t exactly overjoyed, ESPECIALLY the oldest, Lydia. Also, during this first meeting, Miranda openly bad-mouths Daniel in front of the kids, in just the WORST fuckin’ way. I genuinely dislike Miranda A LOT. Again, the divorce was certainly justified, but I REALLY don’t like her. Daniel loves his kids, and they’re HIS kids, TOO. Stop using them as weapons against him, OOOOOOOOOOOH I DON’T LIKE MIRANDA

Anyway, that evening, after she’s officially been hired by Miranda, Mrs. Doubtfire heads home, only to find court liason Mrs. Sellner waiting to speak with Daniel. After a litany of puns, and a humorous changing scene, Daniel accidentally throws the Mrs. Doubtfire mask out of the window, and is forced to improvise through equally humorous circumstances. Hence, the above meringue mask scene. Has anybody tried that, by the way? Could that work as a groundbreaking beauty technique? Or would the sugar just feed the skin bacteria and give you acne? Genuinely curious.

Now going between his job as Daniel and the nanny job as Doubtfire, Daniel’s not doing too badly for himself. The nanny job begins, and Mrs. Doubtfire IMMEDIATELY contrasts with Daniel, creating a disciplinarian atmosphere in place of Daniel’s formerly loosey-goosey attitude. Which is interesting, and it works! I mean, it’s not how I would parent, but it does work. Doubtfire makes the kids to their homework, rather than watch TV, and then attempts to make dinner. Instead, though, the dinner’s ruined, and Daniel orders takeout and makes it LOOK like homemade food. And it looks good, too! Daniel’s full of hidden talents.

After dinner, as Mrs. Doubtfire’s leaving, Lydia apologizes for backtalking her earlier, and thanks her for making her mom happy with everything she did that evening. he also says that she’s still a bit messed up about her dad being gone. And yeah, it’s sweet-but-sad. 

Going forward (and in a montage set to Aerosmith’s Dude Looks Like a Lady), Mrs. Doubtfire takes care of the family, and Daniel even betters himself to become a better Mrs. Doubtfire. Which...to be honest, Daniel REALLY should’ve done this before. I get that he needed the pressure of losing the kids to do this, but...look, Daniel really wasn’t that responsible of a parent, and the fact that THIS is how he learns to be so is...not great. Like, here’s an example, OK: take Donald Trump.

Yeah, I know, what’s this politics doing in my peanut butter? And WOW, that reference is older than me, but anyway. Let’s say that, in two years, a new politician comes on the scene, and her name is Karyn Walldottir. She has somewhat centrist views, and behaves in a way that’s inclusive to the majority, and backs up her claims and promises with evidence (at least true enough for us to suspend our disbelief). This is, of course, Donald Trump disguised as a woman in order to gain custody of the United States of America again. Naturally.

Karyn Walldottir gets elected in 2024, and all of her policies are markedly different from Trump’s and Biden’s, but leaning closer to Biden in progressive standpoints (assuming that that worked for him come 2024). While Trump is doing this specifically to be president again, he ends up revising his personal policies, and being a better person and president for the country. A literal impossibility, I know. But suspend your disbelief to ask this question:

WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T HE DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!

OK, now that that dumbass (and mildly horrifying) thought process is concluded, let’s get back to Mrs. Doubtfire. In the process of Mrs. Doubtfire’s ingratiation with the family, Miranda’s been dating Stu, whom Mrs. Doubtfire subtly insults when they meet. And yeah, Daniel’s being a little petty here, but it makes a bit of sense at least.

That night, after an accidental intrusion by Chris when Mrs. Doubtfire is going to the bathroom, Daniel’s basically forced to tell Chris and Lydia his little secret, which Lydia’s happy about, but Chris is understandably weirded out about. But, they agree to keep the secret from their mom and younger sister.

At his OTHER job, delivering film reels from a TV station, he witnesses the filming of an extremely boring kids educational TV show, and comments as such to another man watching. As he quickly learns, this is the owner of the station, Jonathan Lundy (Robert Prosky), on whom Daniel makes a good impression.

In the meantime, Mrs. Doubtfire has a talk with Miranda about their love lives, real and fictional. Daniel realizes how badly Miranda had been suffering in their marriage, which she never told him because...well, he never seemed to take anything seriously. Which is entirely fair...but this is why Miranda’s a tricky-ass character. She’s got two sides: there’s the justified caring mother and strong woman, and there’s the PETTY ASSHOLE who genuinely doesn’t care about Daniel or his feelings AT ALL. Jesus.

And Stu...look, Stu is LITERALLY a Gary Stu, who’s mostly perfect. Sure, he’s not always been that way, but he definitely is now! He’s responsible, wealthy, in love with Miranda AND her kids. And yeah, at a country club that he’s a member of (OF COURSE he is), he privately badmouth Daniel in front of Mrs. Doubtfire, calling him a loser, and...yeah, he’s not really unjustified in that statement. Fact of the matter is, Stu is barely even a plot device.

Meanwhile, in Daniel’s day job, he finds himself alone in the studio, where the toy dinosaurs from the TV show are still sitting on the table. He plays with them, gives them voices, sings some songs, and impresses Mr. Lundy, who’s there in the shadows after all that. He’s impressed, and invites Daniel to dinner to talk about a potential future show at the network.

But then, it’s also Miranda’s birthday coming up, and Stu’s holding a dinner for her, to which Mrs. Doubtfire is invited. Trouble is, it’s at the OH FUCK IT. YOU know what this is. It’s at the same time and place as the Mr. Lund meeting yaddayaddayadda LOOK. We ALL know how this is going to end. It’s the GODDAMN LIAR REVEALED TROPE AGAIN. And here’s the thing:

I FUGGIN’ HAAAAAATE THE LIAR REVEALED TROPE

You know, that thing in movies (especially family movies of the ‘90s) where somebody starts off a situation with a lie, they get deeper and deeper into that lie, grow close to people under false pretenses, and then OH NO! THE LIAR IS REVEALED! And everybody’s angry and/or sad, the liar slumps off, defeated and broken, but then realizes the error of his ways, while everybody else realizes the same thing, and he comes back to vindicate himself, and is welcomed back with open arms. And it introduces unneeded tension AND I HAVE ALWAYS FUCKING HATED IT.

Let’s list the examples, shall we? A Bug’s Life, Aladdin, Mulan, The Road to El Dorado, Chicken Run, How to Train Your Dragon, Klaus, Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted, Megamind (SUBVERSIVE MY ASS), Over the Hedge, Rango, Toy Story, Steven Universe (the whole Pearl/Sardonyx arc, which went on for WAY too long), the list goes on and fucking on. And I GODDAMN HATE IT. Not to say it can’t be done well. Disney actually usually does a pretty good job with it, and Dreamworks uses it A LOT, but almost always pretty well. But sometimes...GOD. Either way, it’s still used FAR too fucking much. And look. Here’s another one. Joy.

Look, at this point...I will freely admit that I'm biased against this trope, but it’s also obvious where this is headed. Basically, Daniel switches back and forth between the dinner with the family, and the dinner with Mr. Lundy. With Mr. Lundy, he gets absolutely SMASHED. Great. Great decision, Daniel.

So, yeah, Mrs. Doubtfire’s also smashed, which is pretty goddamn apparent to them all. At this point, I’m wondering why Daniel, as Mrs. Doubtfire, didn’t just say she was sick as hell, and had to go home. Or, considering the fact that Daniel proposes her as a show idea regardless, the switch wasn’t even necessary! And that means that none of what’s about to happen, happens. Or, here’s a crazy thought, maybe Daniel shouldn’t have POISONED STU’S FOOD WITH CAYENNE PEPPER THAT HE’S ALLERGIC TO! 

YEAH! Because that causes Stu to go into anaphylactic shock for a hot sec, causing him to choke. Mrs. Doubtfire does the right thing and gives him the Heimlich maneuver, and in the process, SURPRISE! IT’S BEEN DANIEL ALL ALONG! BUH BUH BUHHHHH DA DA DA DAAAAA DA

Yeah, so Miranda is understandably ENRAGED by this revelation, and it’s all over. Daniel represents himself in court at the custody hearing, but the judge deems his “lifestyle” dangerous for children. Which...yikes, Judge, that statement didn’t age well AT FUCKING ALL. But, given Daniel’s admitted stupidity with this whole idea, he’s not wrong about the dangerous part. But, I have to say, Daniel’s speech in his own defense is nice...although he also says he’s addicted to his children, so let’s throw a second yikes on there for good measure.

The speech moves Miranda...but not enough to prevent Daniel has his custody stripped away from him! GOD THEY BOTH SUUUUUUUUCK. Daniel’s a broken man, and Miranda and the kids are similarly broken without him and Mrs. Doubtfire. However...Daniel’s career isn’t broken AT ALL, as Mrs. Doubtfire is now a kid’s show host! Yeah! And she’s a hit! And again, it brings me to wonder why Daniel DIDN’T APPLY HIS OBVIOUS TALENTS LIKE THIS IN THE FIRST GODDAMN PLACE

Realizing that she made a mistake, she goes to the set during the filming of a show. She congratulates him on the show, and he replies by stating how broken he is now! Thanks, Miranda! Well, after an argument, and after Miranda sees how badly she’s messed up someone she used to care for, they come to an agreement: joint custody. FINALLY GODDAMN IT

And good, because I don’t want them back together. I have to give this film props for that: they acknowledge that these two are NOT good for each other, and they deliver a message in the end: families are families, no matter how they’re shaped. One mom, one dad, uncle or aunt, grandparents, adoption, two separated or divorced parents...oh, also, two dads or two moms. Yeah, that isn’t said in Mrs. Doubtfire’s final monologue, which is odd considering Daniel’s brother and his life partner...but it’s also kid’s TV in the ‘90s, so I guess that sadly makes sense. And with that, and their new family arrangement, Daniel takes his kids on an afternoon out, as himself.

...Look. That’s Mrs. Doubtfire, yaddayaddayadda LOOK. I don’t dislike this movie. In fact, here: have this mini-Review:

Cast and Acting - 9/10: Good, although Brosnan was a little stiff.

Plot and Writing - 5/10: It’s an idiot plot, what can I say? It’s actually based off of a book, which was a surprise to me, but it was adapted by Randi Mayem Singer and Leslie Dixon, and...eh. Still an idiot plot.

Directing and Cinematography - 8/10: It’s Chris Columbus, you get what you get. Definitely has that Home Alone flair to it.

Production and Art Design - 8/10: I mean, yeah, the Doubtfire disguise was good most of the time, but...I dunno, I could still tell it was Robin. But, still, it was good. Took 4 hours of makeup, fun fact.

Music and Editing - 8/10: Music by Howard Shore (ooh, Howard Shore!) was pretty nice, especially the ending theme. Editing by Raja Gosnell was...RAJA GOSNELL???

OH GOD. Yeah, OK, I see what happened here. Also, I didn’t know he was an editor! I just know him as the director of the Scooby-Doo films, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, The Smurfs films, Big Momma’s...

...OK, no, I am not doing Big Momma’s House OR the Madea movies. THE TROPE-BUCK STOPS HERE! I am moving on to something else! But, of course, I have to sum this up in a Review. See you there!