#almost cried happy tears you dont even know how happy this made me

[cherrieguroo]

OH MY GOD YOURE THE SHEILINDA PERSON. I LOVE YOU /p I AM SO SO NORMAL ABOUT THEM YOUVE DONE US ALL A WONDERFUL SERVICE

!!!!!! YES I'M THE SHEILINDA PERSON HELLOOOIO

I'm so happy I'm known as that ❤️❤️ ILYT /p

DUDE YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW ILL I AM ABOUT THEM. THEY HAVE ME ON A FUCKING CHOKEHOLD

THANKU ANON ❤️❤️❤️

[catcze]

I just read the “you won’t regret marrying me” for wriothesley and let me tell that this man is definitely going to cry on the wedding day

related 'you won't regret marrying me' fanfic here ! OH OH OH OHHH HE SO TOTALLY WOULD ?!??!? Like;;;; anon. when i tell u i got a vision when i received ur ask and i had to type it IMMEDIATELY thank u for sharing your thoughts im a mess now LMAO

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

GUYS I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH I ALMOST CRIED WRITING IT DONT LET IT FLOP PLS 💔

i like to think that you're both a bit unconventional with how you go about your wedding— for one, you had gone to each others' fitting for your wedding day outfit. Wriothesley had damn near cried when he saw you in the wedding garb that you would eventually choose as your piece— he had barely managed to keep it together when he saw his engagement ring on your finger, and you dressed in white, looking so breathtaking, and his to be together with forever.

He had to turn towards the corner in the fitting room for a second, frantically wiping his eyes and willing not to cry, because he was up next after you, and he didn't want his fitting to be with puffy red eyes. You had clung to his back, giggling at how cute and sweet he is, all the while you petted his back and hair comfortingly.

On your wedding day, though? All cards are off the table. He doesn't care about keeping his composure in front of the audience. Doesn't care that even Furina is there, or that Neuvillette is there, or even Navia or the traveller. He doesn't give two shits about how he's the Duke of Meropide, and he has a reputation to uphold.

The moment those big, grand doors open and you walk yourself down the aisle, a beaming grin on your face, he fucking cracks. He sniffles first, and there's itchiness in his eyes, and then fuck, tears are genuinely welling up in his eyes, and he groans, pressing his palms into his eyes to stem the stream of tears, but it's absolutely no use.

Because fuck, he's here, you're here, you're both wearing white, there are the rings, and you're about to get married. You're about to spend the rest of your life with him, and you look so excited for it. It makes his stomach flip like crazy, makes his brain turn to mush because he loves you so much, doesn't want to spend a single day not being yours for the rest of eternity.

He sobs into his hands, and Neuvillette, who's officiating the wedding, hands him a handkerchief, which he dabs at his eyes with, to no use. He can't stop the tears from flowing, because he's so happy.

And oh, you have a trembling smile on your face when you reach him, willing yourself not to cry too because you just know that if you do, you'll be a teary mess just like him, and the wedding will never finish at that rate. But you can't stop yourself from rushing into his chest, wrapping your arms around to hold him, and he holds you back too on pure instinct— buries his face in your hair as you bury yours in the crook of his neck.

"We made it," you tell him, squeezing his body to yours, smiling through the tears.

Wriothesley gives another hiccuping sob, holding you so close you think you could pop like a balloon. He leans further into you, like he wants to melt into your very person. "Yeah, sweetheart," he breathes, voice shaky. "We made it."

[schlattsdoll]

so like... 106 with dt doctor...

forget you - tenth doctor

minors dni

prompt: “im going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name”

warnings: lil angst, smut {18+}, oral {fem receiving}, dom!doctor, mentions of toxic men & cheating, pet names {love, darling,}line from good omens THAT BROKE ME WRITING, you are responsible for your own media consumption!!!

tenth doctor x fem! reader

nobody said trying to date and travel through time and space would’ve been easy.  that was until you met jordan, handsome, charismatic jordan. he was everything you could’ve dreamed of. well, almost. he wasn’t the doctor, but since you had it in your mind it could never happen, you settled for what you had.

jordan was so understanding of you traveling around, “bring me back a star!.” he joked.

the doctor and you had just come back from alpha centuri and he even let you keep a small space rock to give to your love. much to your surprise jordan was kissing another girl.

your heart shattered, you thought he was loyal to you all this time. a year of your life wasted away by him. “care to explain to me what’s going on?” you confronted him. his jaw dropped and he immediately pushed the girl off him. “y-y/n! it’s not what it looks like i swear!”

“oh i think it’s exactly what it looks like. c’mon love. let’s go you don’t need him.” the doctor ushered you away and into the tardis.

you couldn’t help but break down and sob. how could he? he did seem too excited that you were traveling with the doctor but you didn’t see it as you being a bit on the side, you thought he was just genuinely happy for you.

“love, im so sorry. he didn’t deserve you, he was an arse just using you.” the doctor held you as you cried into his suit jacket. his touch was gentle, as if you were a doll made of porcelain. “how can i make it up to you mhmm? lunch in new new york? crepes straight from france? i’ll do anything love, i’m desperate to see that beautiful smile again.”

you swiped away at the tears that rolled down your cheeks, confused at what you just heard. you know he had a habit of calling you “love” but you thought of that as him mindlessly flirting. you should’ve known nothing the doctor does is “mindless”. you look up at the time lord, a puzzled look on your face speaks for you. “oh for god’s sake y/n! i’m in love with you. i’ve been in love with you since we met and you started traveling with me. it broke my hearts when i saw you with him, i wished it could be us instead. please darling, i know it’s poor timing but can we be an us?”

"doctor, i dont know what to say..." "say yes, please my darling." the doctor stared at you with his big brown eyes, almost with a puppy dog like stare. "yes doctor." he leaned down into you and grabbed you with the most intensity  youve seen from him as he kissed you for the first time. your lips collided and it felt like a universe ahs been born between you two.

the timelord deepened the kiss, his hands roaming your body until they landed on your ass, grabbing it gently. "i wanna help you forget all about him. you shouldve never been with him, i wanted you from the beginning. i shouldve been more open to you love.” he broke away to catch his breath and confess more.

“help me forget him then doctor, i want you, so bad.” you tugged at his hair, pulling him towards you. your hands tangled in his hair as he kissed you once more. “now that you’re mine love, i’m not letting you go.” he led you to his room on board the tardis and laid you down gently on his bed. the kiss got a lot more intense, hands tugging at each other’s clothes, you managed to pull his suit jacket off and undo some buttons while your shirt was completely gone. the two of you pulled away breathlessly, foreheads resting against each other. the doctor looked at you with such admiration in his eyes.

“are you sure you want this love?” he asked you, hands hovering over your breasts. you nodded your head slowly, looking up at the much older timelord. "please doctor..." he reached behind you, unclasping your bra. his touch so delicate almost feather like. as your straps slid off your shoulders the doctor licked his lips, “love you are breathtakingly beautiful.” his head dove down to kiss and lick at your chest while his hands worked on removing your bottoms.

the timelord parted away from you, pulling off his shirt and moving down your body to your dripping sex. "doctor, don't be a tease..." you whined out to him. suddenly he was on his knees in front of you, "may i darling?" almost too eagerly you responded, nodding your head rapidly. he kissed his way up and down your thighs, avoiding the one place you desperately needed him most.

"tell me love, are you mine?" the doctor's lips ghosted over your core. "yes, gods yes doctor please just do something." "as you wish love."

you barely had time to register what was happening since he leaned in and licked a stripe up to your clit. "taste as good as you look." he dove back in, eating like a man starved while you writhed and moaned above him.

"that's it love, be a good girl and cum for me." his tongue replaced by his nimble fingers, quickly curling inside you. you felt your whole body tense up before the waves of pleasure crashed over you.

you got up to return the favor but the doctor stopped you. "sorry darling, but tonight is about you. tonight, i'm going to fuck you until you forget that assholes name."

[buckyhad]

Sweet

Pairing: Dark!teammate!Max Verstappen x reader

Tw: NC, purity ring, smut, reader is 18, Max is 25, idk what else

Based on this request!

Max just couldn't understand how someone as nice, caring and dumb like you got into one of the most dangerous sport. After getting tired of racing in NASCAR, and almost retiring from motosport, Christian Horner saw the opportunity and got you a seat as their reserve driver.

Nobody thought it would go well, racing in such a different category and skipping all the previous steps to F1, it was just failure in plain sight. But when Daniel Ricciardo, their second driver broke one of his bones and you got in the seat, it was amazing. You loved Danny, he was so funny and such and amazing coworker who loved to tease you.

"What's that ring you got there?" He asked wiggling his brows, making the blood rush to your cheeks, you weren't ashamed of anything, it was a part of your identity, but something about him asking that in front of Max, who you knew would make fun of you, made you blush.

"Mmm, it's a purity ring" you stared at the floor.

"Oh, that's cool" he said smiling.

"A purity ring?" Max scoffed "what time are we in? In the 1800?" He laughed leaving you to deal with the shame in the form of prickling tears in your eyes.

"Not cool mate" Daniel shaked his head.

"Not cool how she's so proud of that thing, like everybody else is worse than her" he shrugged.

You rushed out of the garage, the word shame wasn't enough to describe how you felt right now.

Walking to the McLaren's garage, you saw Lando, changing your path towards the brit.

"Hey sweet" he hugged you sideway.

"Hey Lan" you smiled.

"Want to help me take some pictures?".

"Sure, would love to"

------------

Making your way back to your garage to finally get ready to race, starting to feel anxious about facing your teammate again.

You never felt ashamed of your ring, but it was itching in your finger, begging to be taken off and be hidden.

Looking to both sides you decided to take it off and save it on your pocket, finally reaching your side of the garage to start getting ready.

"Good luck sweet" Daniel said, bumping his fist with yours, frowning when he saw your naked finger.

"Thanks Danny, I wish you could be racing in my place" you said hugging him, needing the comfort of your friend.

"Well, I dont, you're going to do great".

------------

In fact, it went amazing, taking your first win on the Monza track? A dream come true, except for the part when you had to face Max again, breaking his almost record wasn't in your plans.

Showering and hiding away in your driver's room was the best idea on your mind. Not having to face your furious teammate.

Well it was a good idea, till he opened the door that you didn't lock well.

"Fucking hiding from me? Not even going to apologize for what you did?" Max was towering over you, looking down at you from your place on the sofa.

Starting to tremble a little, not liking how mean he was being "I'm sorry Max, I really didn't mean to" you hugged yourself "But I'm happy I won, it's my first win" you whispered the last part.

"And why should I care? You fucking ruined my record!" You flinched at his raising voice, not being used to be yelled at "You pretend to be so nice and sweet, but then you go and ruin everything for me, and I don't even get a real sorry? You are a bitch" he spat.

"I'm not!" You said standing in front of him "I've been nothing but nice to you, I don't know what you want from me" you saw his face change, frowning and a twisted smile appearing.

"Apologize" he said "You're not a dumb kid that doesn't know how to say sorry, you're fucking 19"

"No, I wasn't wrong, you don't deserve it" you shaked.

"Seat" he demanded.

"Wh-"

"Stop playing dumb, you heard me" he pushed you down "Going to teach you how to say I'm fucking sorry"

You watched in horror how he started to undo his jeans, trying to stand again, failing when he bloked you.

"Be nice" he growled "Open your mouth"

"No, go away Max" you cried.

"Open" he said squeezing your cheeks with his hand, hurting you till you gave in, his fingers pressing down on your tongue, letting you taste your own tears "If you bite me, it would be worse, be nice, like you always are, okay?" When you didn't respond he got his face closer to yours "Okay?" Shaking your head 'yes' to reply his demand.

Finally taking his aching cock out of his tight jeans, proding at your lips "Open" he said once more, smiling when you did as he said "That's it, sweet, so good" you flinched hearing your nickname coming from his mouth.

He started to fuck your mouth at a slow pace, moaning quietly "Fuck, relax, breath through your nose and you would stop choking sweet" he told you with a sigh, keeping his moves going "That's it, much better" he caressed your hair, making you cry even more pushing at his thighs, he pulled out.

"You got what you wanted Max, please go away now" you cried.

"Oh sweet, I just started" he chuckled "Take your pants off" he kissed you cheek "And put the ring back on" watching you fish the ring from your pocket, putting it on and freezing, he sighs "come here" he said pulling you by the loop on your jeans, taking it off himself.

"Max, please, stop" you whispered, trying to cover yourself.

He didn't listen to you, putting his hands on the back of your thighs pulling you on top of him.

"Please, I'm not going to said anything, I swear" you cried.

"Put your hands on my shoulder" he ignored you again, kissing you while moving your panties to the side, thrusting inside you little by little, not letting go of your lips.

------------

The next day, arriving to film some content for the team, you went to say hi to Daniel.

"Hey" you hugged him.

"Why the fuck does Max have your ring on a fucking chain?".

------------

A/N: Hellooo, more dark content bc is never enough, hope you enjoy it, love yall🤍

[p3ndeja6]

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

c.brock x latina! y/n

summary: you moved to LA to be with your long distance boyfriend, you were having a great time, but after a couple of months you started to feel homesick and missed your hometown and your culture

content tags: spanish speaking reader, mexican reader, cultural references, overall a hispanic reader, not proof-read

word count: 1.6k

fluff ❀﹐

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Y/N

I've loved my time here in LA with colby and sam and all their friends but i recently fell in a funk. I miss my family and my friends.

you were scrolling through your photos and snapchat memories of your time in your hometown and started to feel really homesick, you began to cry, you laid back on you side and cried.

you missed your mom's delicious cooking, how she would make handmade tortillas, or her salsa picante. you didnt have that here and nor did anyone make it, you didnt have any hispanic friends in LA. You would only hang out with sam and colby's friends

you liked them but they sometimes including colby didnt understand your jokes or references. it sometimes pained you that you felt out of place around them.

you connected your speaker in the room that was given to you when you first moved to their house, and a song that reminded you of your dad started to play; its your dad's favorite song, and you couldn't control the sadness that flowed through your body

you spent a good two hours just crying and eventually calmed down but you were puffy eyed and your breathing was skipped

you sat up to recollect your self before colby came home and would come in your room, until another song started to play from your playlist, a heart wrenching song that reminded you of your beloved parents.

you started to cry again, you leaned back to the head board and clutched your body as you were singing to the lyrics

Colby came in the room all happy and giddy until he saw you crying

"oh my god! y/n are you okay? are you hurt? does something hurt?"

he was panicking trying to figure out why you were crying.

"no... nothings wrong" you got up quickly and turned around to wipe your face. he also got up to try to look at you but you kept avoiding him until he grabbed you face and made you look at him

"y/n.. somethings wrong, please just tell me"

"you wont understand" "just try me"

you mustered up the courage to tell him the truth. you looked at him and started to tear up again

"i-i just feel... i just started to feel homesick, thats all" colby was relieved that it wasnt anything life threatening

"oh, well why is that?"

"i dont know... i just miss home, like i really do. my family and friends, my culture and the food, everything" you looked at how he felt hurt about how you were talking about missing your family and friends.

"dont get me wrong, i love being here with you, you make being here so bearable but i just miss my people.. thats all" you half smiled

"no.. yeah i get that, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

"no its fine, i just need a couple minutes alone thats all"

"yeah yeah sure... ill be downstairs if you need me alright?"

you kissed him and hugged him tightly, feeling so safe in his arms.

"thank you, i love you"

"i love you too" he walked out and closed the door, feeling terrible that you felt that way, he wished he could do something about your homesickness

COLBY

as i walked back downstairs to sit with sam on the couch, he noticed my upset mood.

"Everything alright dude?" "uh.. yeah its just y/n is feeling homesick and sorta on the verge of going back home"

"oh shit dude, i definitely know what she's feeling" " do you think we've made her not feel at home? you think I haven't made her feel like home?" " i mean we haven't really done anything to make her feel at home"

"shit dude youre right, we haven't, i feel like the worst boyfriend ever. cant even make my girlfriend feel loved or feel like this is her home"

i started to think about ways to make her feel at home, i can cook her favorite food? no its too late for that, its almost 8

"what should i do sam?" "how about you take her to the other side of LA, take her some place authentic, not might be like where she's from but its the closest thing we got"

"yeah yeah you're right, let me go tell her!"

i ran upstairs and came up to her door, softly knocked to let her know i was coming in, she was still there in bed listening to her spanish music.

"hey y/n.. how you holding up?" "hi.. im doing alright, still trying to get my breathing under control" she let out a dry giggle

i caressed her face admiring her glossy eyes and her stained cheeks, leaning down to kiss her on her forehead, " i was thinking-" she sat up "what were you thinking"

"how about i take you out to eat some place special?" "ehh im not in the mood to eat colby" "no cmon i know a place, trust me"

Y/N

he looked at me with pleading eyes, "sure why not"

"alright get reading in ten minutes" "okay" you smiled and got up to get ready, he left the room to let you get dressed

you wore some ripped jeans with your white Mexico world cup jersey, and some black platform converse. added some mascara and some lip balm before leaving you grabbed your purse

you went downstairs and was greeted by colby waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. "hey y/n!"

"hey sam"

"you ready to go babe?"

"yes of course!"

"but before we leave i need you to put this on"

he was holding a blindfold, you looked at him confused and he went behind you to put the blindfold on, you were about to protest before he kissed your cheek and wrapped the blindfold around your eyes

"alright lets go, bye sam!"

you headed out the door, stumbling trying to remember all the steps to get to the car, colby opened the car door and helped you inside.

"was the blindfold really necessary?" "yeah babe, i want to surprise you"

"it wont really be a surprise if we go to in n out" he laughed at the assumption

"how about i put some music on?" "hmm yeah okay" colby connected his phone to the car's bluetooth and a song you recognized easily came on. you started to sing along to song. Colby created a playlist on your favorite spanish-speaking songs. He had to stalk your public Spotify playlist to be able to create the playlist.

"omg i love this song!!" you started to sing the song, pointing the lyrics to Colby not knowing how much of a distraction you are creating for him on the road.

still with the blindfold on you continue to sing all the songs that played, surprised how many spanish songs kept coming on

"omg how do you know these songs?!" "did you stalk my spotify?" you let out a laugh, "gosh y/n no I didn't" yes he did

you laughed at him, knowing well that this is from your playlist, or you thought it was just your playlist he started to play.

"are we there yet?" "no"

"are we there yet now?" "almost"

"what about now?" "actually yeah we are"

"why did it take you so long to drive to in n out if its only a 15 minute drive from the house?"

as you heard opening his side of the door, he rushed over to open your door, "well babe, we arent actually at in n out"

confused, wondering where else he would have taken you

"well.. where are we-" you started to smell the char smell of meat... taco meat.

"omg it smells so good.. where are we..?"

"well let me cross you over the street to find out" "what?"

you started to take off the blindfold until he stopped you, "ah ah ahh, no taking this off yet until i say so" "omg colby where are we"

he guided you across the street, smelling everything. it smelled like home almost, you started to hear the steam of a grill and the music that you grew up listening to. Hearing chatter among people.. in spanish?

"colby... where are we?"

colby finally let go of you and starting to take the blind fold off of you, you adjust to the light and rubbing your eyes a bit to clearly see the scene.

taqueros and vendedores making and selling snacks and meals. hearing them laugh, sing, and speak spanish.

"oh my god.." you said under your breath looking all over, small tears start to well up. "colby.. what is this?"

"i felt really bad that you were feeling homesick, and i hate seeing you cry, so i thought maybe i try to bring home to you... I know this isnt exactly home but i love you so much that i would do anything for you and to show you how much you mean to me, i dont want you to go home, i want to always make you happy y/n"

your tears finally fell, you fully realized how special and loving colby was, you felt so warm and loved.

"Colby... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, you have no idea how much this means to me, and for you to actually consider this idea really brings me to tears, i am so completely in love with you"

you grabbed his head and kissed him, deepening the kiss and full engulf his lips. you let go and admire his big beautiful eyes.

"gosh.. well cmon lets eat something, what kind of tacos do you want babe?" "ehh i have no clue what to get, everything looks so good, how about you order me something"

you smiled at him, wondering how did you get so lucky to have someone so special such as colby brock

you turned over to the taquero and smiled at him, the man smiling back at you and asking what you what would you like to eat.

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Just A Little Taste

Frank (Adam Barrett) x f!reader

Summary: you’re the only one left, and Frank is more the happy to keep you around. Alternative ending where Frank kills everyone else and doesn’t explode

Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, multiple orgasms, dacryphilia, blood kink (he’s a vampire tf did you expect), degradation, he’s mean to her and she likes it, rough sex (he breaks a table), choking, suffocation kink, implied consent (I think? she consents to it later), explicit language (take a shot every time he says fuck), no use of y/n or physical descriptions, blood, violence, it’s a horror movie idk what to tell you. Read at own caution

I call him Frank throughout the fic, it’s just easier for narrative because he was only ever called Adam like once. It’s also implied in the movie he doesn’t go by Adam anymore so.

WC: 4.8k I’m sorry

A/N: DONT YOU DARE LOOK AT ME. I had to I’m sorry okay??? Not only did I want to fuck this prick the whole movie im actually obsessed with Dan Stevens now so there’s that. But I totally thought about fucking this man the whole movie so I wrote it. To the 5 people that will read this you’re welcome (I’ll see you in hell😘)

For reference I based some characterization bits on this fic by @f1nalboys since I think they wrote Frank perfectly! And I think they rubbed off a little on mine lol

What the fuck did you get yourself into?

Your head was throbbing, your racing heart drumming in your ears. You felt like you were spinning. On your hands and knees on the floor, you were covered in so much blood and guts you felt like tearing your skin off. You didn’t even think it was your own blood. They were all dead. 

This wasn’t what you signed up for.

You were crawling, you didn’t know where you were trying to go, it wasn’t like you could outrun her, or him. You looked behind you to find them in their mayhem. Truly Joey and Abigail were trying, you watched them from a corner—bruised and bloody—as they tried to fight him, maybe kill him. Then you would be next for not helping. But it didn’t look like it mattered. Joey wasn’t moving from where she was impaled, blood gushing from her neck. You couldn’t help the tears that fell from your eyes. You choked out a sob as you tried to force yourself up on your feet. But who were you fucking kidding? You were fucked either way. Abigail would catch you and feed off you slowly before ending your torment. Or Frank would. And truly, you almost wanted Abigail to get you instead. 

“Ah. There you are. Thought I forgot about you?” His sinister words filled your ears and another sob ripped from your throat as you pathetically tried to crawl away, your legs too unstable to even support your weight.

“No.. no.. no.” the shaky words slipped from your throat as more tears spilled from your eyes, a feeling of utter terror and dread settling in your stomach. You actually cried when he effortlessly grabbed one of your ankles and dragged you towards him. “Please!”

“Aw, are you crying?” He mocked you, tilting his head at you, tongue swiping over razor sharp teeth. Blood covered his mouth and chin, down his neck and his eyes were sadistic as he looked over your distressed form. He almost looked in thought, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with you yet. 

“Just kill me. There's no one else..” You sobbed, looking to the side to find Abigail’s body completely lifeless, limp, black blood pooling around her. You swallowed, your jaw locking tight as you looked up at him in defeat. You just made peace with the fact that this was it. “You won. Just fucking end it.” 

Frank clicked his tongue, amusement mixing with the malice in his expressions and he shook his head. “I like you, y’know. You have such a dirty fuckin’ mouth for such a pretty face. Thought about how to shut you up all night, and I think I figured it out.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, eyes screwed shut when he reached down to grab you. You fully expected him to sink his fangs into your throat and tear it right out, suck you dry until your heart stopped pumping. But he didn’t. You let out a pathetic sound when he grabbed the back of your hair and forced you up on your feet. He forced your head back, giving you no other option but to look at him. 

Frank knew his heart had stopped beating the second fangs grazed his lips, but right now as he watched your face twist with desperation and anticipation of his next move, your soft lips quivering and your big eyes staring back at him, he swore he felt blood pumping in his veins. This thought of your life being completely in his hands, that ultimately you were the only one left, it gave him an indescribable feeling he craved to explore more. He always did enjoy exerting his power over those around him, but this was so different. He felt it even before he turned. 

Something about you was so intoxicating and alluring to him. The second he met you, he knew he wouldn’t let this be the last time he saw you. As much as that defeated the purpose of the no-name, unknown crew thing he had established. The little looks you shot him throughout the night, like he intrigued you, amused you. He caught each and every one. But it wasn’t until you got all up in his face to curse and shout at him about what had gone down with Abigail that he realized that if he died tonight without getting a taste of you he would be real fucking pissed in hell. 

He didn’t want to kill you. No. He wanted to ruin you. Fuck you into nothing. Fuck you until you were useless, nothing more just an outlet for his pleasure. 

“I don’t want to kill you. I wanna keep you, actually. I wouldn’t waste a pretty lil’ thing like you.” His blood stained lips curled up into a sinister smirk that had your stomach turning in ways that would make any sane human being sick. You kept your mouth shut as he leaned down to find your ear, his grip on your hair tightening. “I can think of a couple things you would be so good for.”

“You're going to hypnotize me? Turn me into your personal fuck puppet?” You scoffed through gritted teeth, the idea making your stomach twist and your jaw lock. He laughed, the sound so somber in your ear it made you swallow. He ultimately shook his head, tisking softly at you.

“Jesus, what kind of a fuckin’ animal do you think I am? You have two options here,” he ran his tongue over his lips, blue eyes sharp on yours as his grip loosened. “You can go. You know where the door is. I’ll even give you a head start. But, if I catch you, I’ll fuck you until you pass out.”

Your mouth fell open, shock filling your eyes at his vulgar words. An unsettling heat settled deep within you as the implications of his words sank in. You should not be considering your options. Get the fuck out. It’s that simple. But your mind lingered. He could almost sense your hesitation. This made him smile.

“Don’t act like you weren’t giving me fuck me eyes all night. Clinging to me like a bitch in heat. I bet you would have let me fuck you on the nearest surface of this place if I had tried.” The words he spat flustered you in deep embarrassment. You hated that he wasn’t wrong. You gravitated towards him, caught glimpses of him when you thought he wasn’t looking, you wrapped up his bleeding leg, you refused to leave his side when everyone else chose to split up. But what truly sunk into him was the fact that you refused to fight him, too. You ran with Joey but you didn’t fight him and you didn’t help them, against your better judgment. And you couldn’t deny that.

“So pick one.” He released your hair, taking a step back. You released the breath you were holding and you stared at him, blinking softly, searching for any deceit in his eyes. Maybe he was toying with you. Giving you a false sense of security. He tilted his head at you, amusement and malicious glee circling in his blue eyes as the smirk never left his expression. 

You often listened to your instincts, to your gut. And your gut was telling you to get the fuck out of this place. You swallowed a sob as you ran down a long hallway, your heart pounding in your chest as your feet took you somewhere. But you hesitated, a deep sense of doubt sinking in your head. Something else joined. A feeling you couldn’t quite comprehend but it was strong, and you didn’t want to go out that door. Not really. 

You stopped running. You didn’t know why you stopped. You looked behind you, almost expecting to find him there. A heavy feeling sat in your chest, an eerie sense of anticipation. You could leave right now, pretend none of this ever happened, only a nightmare to hide in the back of your subconscious. But somehow, you didn’t move. Frank didn’t have to spare you, you knew you wouldn’t be able to fight him off on your own even if you tried—you didn’t want to. He was in complete control and he chose you. You weren’t oblivious. 

The smirk on his face only grew wider when he caught you at the end of the hallway, sinister eyes pinning you in place as he approached you. But you weren’t hypnotized, you just didn’t want to run. 

“Well, aren't you full of surprises?” He grabbed your jaw, squeezing your cheeks between his fingers. You didn’t try to fight him.  Your eyes flickered with defiance and curiosity. “Did you even try to run?”

“You were giving me fuck me eyes, too.” You dared to shoot back, and you didn’t miss the way his eyebrows shot up with pleasant surprise. He blew out a chuckle. 

“Yeah, I was.” 

His mouth was on yours as he held your face in place, his tongue slipping into your mouth without shame, razor sharp teeth nicking your lip. You gasped at the stinging sensation, the metallic taste mixing with his mouth. He almost growled at the taste. 

His mouth stayed on yours, not giving you even a second to breathe as he backed you to the nearest wall. You ignored the blood drying on his cool skin and the stickiness of his clothes as you ran your hands up his face until they landed on his disheveled hair. Truth was, the filthiness of it all, how fucked up it all was, it all added to your arousal. You weren’t a saint afterall, and this thrill excited you like nothing ever before. You didn’t know just what he was capable of, that excited you.

“Your stupid heart is beating so fuckin’ fast. Do you want it that bad?” His words were mocking, in a breathy laugh as his lips moved down your jaw. You opened your mouth to reply when he dragged his tongue over your skin to taste the blood staining it. Your eyes rolled softly, your brain shutting off for just a second.

“God, yes.” You breathed out as his hands grabbed at your tits through your shirt. A smirk fell on his lips again as he effortlessly tore the material right in half. You groaned at this, though ultimately your clothes were ruined anyway, but he could have asked, you would have taken it off. “You could’ve taken it off, you know?”

He laughed, shrugging as he dragged his tongue over your collarbone, the ends of his teeth grazing your skin ever so slightly, “I’m not your fuckin’ Prince Charming.”

“Nope, you’re just an asshole.” You bit your lip softly, trying to level your voice as not to sound so out of breath, so desperate, but when he carelessly unzipped your jeans, tugging them down your thighs just enough for him and unceremoniously shoved his hand into your panties, how the fuck could you stay calm?

“Oh, yeah, I’m a fuckin’ asshole,” he lifted his head to watch your mouth fall open and your eyes grow big when his middle finger slipped between your folds and rubbed your wetness on your clit. The sweet moan he pulled from you made him grin with delight. “But I’m a great fuck. Wanna find out sweetheart?”

The only response you gave him was a pathetic moan when he slipped two long fingers into your hole, and he couldn’t help but mock the way your lips parted open in pleasure.

“Oh, I think you do. You’re soaking my fingers and for what? You just wanted this pussy filled and you didn’t care about nothin’ else huh?” He took in the way your eyebrows furrowed and twisted as he slipped his fingers in and out, listened to your soft gasps each time he curled his fingers the right way. And he did it, again, and again. “You should’ve said somethin’. Fuck.. I would’ve.. I would’ve fucked you with my tongue in the bathroom, or bent you over the pool table and filled you with my cock.”

Your walls squeezed his fingers and a sob ripped from your throat at his words. You were begging his name softly, one of your hands flying to wrap around his wrist as he fucked you with his fingers, your release creeping up on you faster than it ever has before.

“Yeah, you’d like that. You just wanted me to take you like a whore, hm?” He slipped and crooked his fingers perfectly, his palm rutting against your clit with each expert flick of his wrist. Your chest was heaving, eyes screwed shut as pathetic sounds fell freely from your lips. But what truly caught his attention was the vein that popped on your neck close to your pulse point, pulsing as blood pumped through your veins. He narrowed his eyes as he focused on it, he could almost hear each thump of your heart, pumping faster the closer you got. It was so human. Something he no longer was. “What's that? You close or somethin’?”

“Uh-huh!” His thumb was on your clit as the sound left your mouth, his fingers pumping and scissoring your cunt wide open until a sob ripped from your throat, your mind going completely blank as your release coated his fingers. You could feel yourself slip down the wall, your legs a shaking mess that couldn’t hold you up any longer, his fingers still deep inside your weeping cunt. But he didn’t stop, he pressed his body against yours, free hand on your hip, forcing your body upright. You sputtered, your nails digging into his wrist as he forced his fingers as far as they could go, drawing out on your pleasure to the point of tears. “Frank, h-hang on.”

The way you sobbed his name made him smirk, his sadistic eyes now on yours. “Aw, is it too much?” He mocked you, his fingers curling just to torture you. You whined, your eyes pleading for mercy. He didn’t have much to give, but he also didn’t have much self control, either. “Ah, you’re right, we can do better than this. Now, should I stuff your dirty mouth, or your soakin’ pussy?”

You pulled your lips into a pout, your eyes big as you stared up at him, as soft gasp pulled from your lips when his fingers left you. You swallowed, the thought of choking on his cock temping your mind, but fuck, you just wanted him to take you, right now.

“I just.. I want you inside me.”

“‘Course you fuckin’ do.” He pulled you off the wall, his grip tight on one arm to keep you standing as he searched around the small walkway. His eyes landed on a table in the corner filled with photo portraits. He was dragging you to it, his free arm knocking over everything on the table before he effortlessly hoisted you onto it. 

He kissed you again as he tore your jeans off your legs all the way, along with your panties, tossing them somewhere behind him to be forgotten. Your shaky hands focused on his clothes next, shoving his jacket off his shoulders and reaching down to unbuckle his belt. His hands joined yours, since you were taking too fucking long fumbling around with his zipper. He shoved his jeans down his thighs just enough, not bothering to take them off all the way. Parting from his lips, you attempted to pull his bloodied shirt over his head, desperately craving to feel his skin. He didn’t deny you, his shirt getting tossed along with his jacket somewhere. 

You didn’t stop him when he pushed you on your back, body flat on the surface and your legs dangled over his torso. Your slick cunt was on full display for him, and he very much appreciated the visual of his doing. He leaned down the slightest bit, forcing your knees to damn near touch your chest as he freed his cock from his boxers. He exhaled sharply, his neck craning to the side as he held back the deep urge to just shove his cock inside you. 

His eyes met yours for a second, a shit eating grin on his face before he looked down to watch as his cock slowly sank into you, disappearing inch by inch within your tight walls. Your jaw fell open, a silent cry leaving you at the sting of his cock. A curse left your lips, eyes screwed shut as you dug your nails into the wooden table beneath you. 

“So fuckin’ tight. Fuck.” He grunted, the sound settling deep within his chest. His pace was grueling from the start, the second he was inside you he was drilling into you. He watched your face with big eyes, lips slightly parted as he reveled in your pain. ”I wanted it so bad. Thought about splitting this pussy wide fuckin’ open all night. Fuck.” 

Sobs spilled from your lips, a string of uh-uh-uh’s filling the empty house. You tried to crawl up the table, give yourself some room from his rough hips at first, but he didn’t particularly appreciate you trying to run away from him. He used his body weight to keep you pinned to the table as he leaned over your body further, his chain now dangling over your face as if to mock you further. 

“Aw, is my cock too much? You can’t take it? You asked for it,” he spat the word accompanied by a particularly sharp thrust that made you cry out. “Please Frank, it hurts.” He mocked your voice, his face above yours. He brought a hand to squeeze your cheeks between his fingers as you nodded tearfully. But you couldn't bring yourself to even try to tell him to stop, let alone try to run away this time, ultimately the pain coursing through you dissolving into blissful pleasure. “Good. I hope it fuckin’ hurts. That’s what a slut like you deserves.” 

With each spiteful word he spat, the intensity of his actions increased. But god did it feel absolutely delicious to be railed this way. You had never felt this way before. So intensely consumed by pleasure and pain that you cried. Tears fell from your eyes just as freely as sobs of pleasure fell from your lips. Frank was more than happy to hear them all. He fucking reveled in it. His lips pulled into a mocking pout at the sight of your tears, but the sight only made his cock twitch. He leaned down to your face, tongue sticking out to lick your tears.

You were shocked, eyes wide and mouth open, but you were more shocked at yourself, at the fact that you liked it. You were covered in blood, not even your blood, he was covered in blood, everyone else was dead and yet here you were, taking his cock like that was your only concern in this world. And the worst part was, you didn’t even mind it all that much. “Ugh, fuck. This is so fucked up.” The words left your lips in a haze, an unconscious thought as your back lifted off the table, a burning heat settling deep within you. You didn’t expect him to hear you. But how could he not? He laughed, his forehead pressed to your wet cheek.

“But you don’t want me to stop, do you?” He pulled back to look at your face, head tilted at you as his hand fell to your neck and his fingers gripped your throat, but he didn’t quite squeeze. He grinned at the way your eyes rolled back as you shook your head as best as his grip allowed you to. “So much for not wanting my hand on your throat.” 

He mocked you once again, laughing at the irony. He remembered your words from much earlier in the night--I swear if you put your hand on my throat next I will cut it off. A twisted smile formed on his lips at the thought, his fingers tightening around your throat. He wondered if you still had your switchblade on you. Would you stab him if he squeezed too hard? He would probably enjoy it if you did. 

You weren’t sure when the air started to leave your lungs, or when the room started to spin. You were dizzy, blood rushing to your face as his fingers dug into your neck. You weren’t sure what you felt more, the bruising around your throat or his cock bruising your cervix. Either way, the feeling was unbearable, overwhelming. You could feel consciousness start to leave you, your chest heaving with panic. Would he keep fucking you even if you passed out? You guessed it wouldn’t matter too much to him if you did. All you were hoping for is that you didn’t pass out before your release. Your pulse slowed, he could see it. It amused him to watch the way your heartbeat slowed, your face untwisting as you slowly slipped. His fingers released your throat, a loud gasp leaving your lips as your head spinned. 

“Fuuck—God—Fu—” breathy incoherent words spilled from your lips, your thoughts blurred as you came. The thought of someone pushing your limits to such extreme, it pumped adrenaline through your veins, rushed dopamine through your fucked up brain. You clung to him, nails dragging down his back as you turned into a shaking, sobbing mess. 

“The fuck was that? Shit, did you just come?” Frank asked, a laugh of disbelief leaving him as he looked down to see his cock glistening with your release as he slipped in and out of you with ease.

“Mhm!” You nodded, only a high pitched noise leaving you, too incoherent and cock-drunk to even form a thought. You expected him to slow down at some point, for his relentless movements to falter, but somehow the thought of you falling apart without even so much as a warning got him going even more.

“Who the fuck said you could do that, hm?” He spat, a grunt leaving him as he rutted his hips against you. The sting of his cock so deep you swore you could feel him in your cervix. You whined, attempting to ground yourself with a grip on the table. You could hear the frail wood creak under you. 

“Frank—” You warned him, attempting to sit up to take some weight off the table, but it didn’t make much of a difference, the small table finally breaking under Frank’s harsh movements. You expected to hit your head on the ground, and you braced yourself for it, but you only felt the impact on your back. 

One of Frank’s hands held the back of your head, cradling it almost, the other was braced on the floor as he tried to take as much of the impact as possible. You heard him laugh next to your ear and you groaned, cursing at him under your breath.

“Motherfucker, I’m not a goddamn ragdoll.” You groaned, wincing softly as you lifted your back off the broken wooden chunks beneath you.

“Shit, my bad. I’ve never fucked while being a vampire, alright? I don’t know how this shit works.” He shrugged, unbothered as his cock still sat hot and heavy inside you. He looked at you, eyes playful as his lips curved into a grin. “You okay?”

“Uh yeah, think so.”

“Good. Up you go then.” You didn’t have time to ask him what he meant, before your brain could process it, he was moving you both around. He sat on the back of his knees as he sat you on his lap. Not that you would do much up there, but he figured it’d be less painful than the hard cool floor. 

He wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you against his chest. He grabbed your face with his other hand, pulling you to meet his eager mouth as he snapped up his hips. He swallowed the sound he enticed from your throat as your body bounced in his grip. You threw your arms over his shoulders, holding on to him for dear life as he split you open with his cock—again. You couldn’t believe you already wanted to come again, shameless sobs spilling from your throat as your chest heaved, heart pounding so loud you swore you could hear it. Were vampire pheromones a thing? Not that you could actually think of anything right now, not with how good he was making you feel. 

“Oh, I know what that means. You wanna come again, huh?” He grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks between his fingers how he liked to do. You were nodding, eyes big and watery with tears. He found it so amusing how easily he could make you go from all talk and attitude to pathetic and fucked out. And deep down, you liked it, too. It was often exhausting to pretend all the time. “Oh, I know, baby. I want you to come all over my cock again.”

And it wasn’t a request, he slipped his hand between your bodies and your head fell on his shoulder, gasping softly when pressed his thumb to your swollen clit. You didn’t have to think too hard, the painful stretch of his cock was enough, but the second he played with your clit you were done for. You were sobbing as your third orgasm hit you, tears spilling from your eyes once again.

“Aw, well aren’t you a good girl? C’mere, look at me,” his hand left your sensitive clit to lace around your hair forcing your head up. His eyes were on yours, tongue licking over his razor sharp teeth as he fucked you through your high, now chasing his own. “You want me to fill you up? That’s what you wanted, right? Just wanted me to take you and use you like some whore? Well you better fuckin’ take it like one.”

His name fell from your lips quietly, almost pleading as he forced your head to the side, exposing your neck to him, your ripped up shirt long forgotten in the mindless dance of clothes. You knew what devious thought was in his head, and like you read his mind, he sunk his teeth into your flesh. A strained whine left your throat, your fingers digging into his back as he savored your blood. He groaned, riveting in the feeling of your cunt clenching around his cock as he fed. And it was that sweet taste of your blood that made him fall apart. A deep grunt settled in his chest as he spilled inside you, only releasing your shoulder when he felt his release seep out of your cunt.

A shaky gasp left your lips when he let go, a feeling of relief sitting on your chest when he didn’t suck you dry. You had fully expected him to feed until your body was lifeless. Ultimately he had already fucked whatever this was out of his system. But he didn’t. He gave you no time to comment on this, without a word he kissed you, your blood still coating his mouth. 

“Ugh, Jesus,” you grimaced, blood now coating your lips. He smirked at you, lips parted to flash you his teeth as he took in the way your face twisted in disgust. Still tangled up in each other, still clinging to him on his lap, you watched as swiped his finger over the streak of blood dripping from your shoulder. And your eyes never left him as he savored the taste of you, his chest rising and falling with delight. A strange feeling sank in your chest as your senses returned to you, and you suddenly felt painfully self-aware. “Are you going to finish feeding off me now that you got what you wanted?”

“You truly are a dumb little girl, huh?” He mocked you, laughing softly, a second laugh erupting from his chest at the way you narrowed your eyes at him with a glare. ���If I had wanted to kill you I would have. You’re not the only pussy in this city y’know.”

“You are such an asshole.” You rolled your eyes, the intimacy and the slight bit of vulnerability in the moment slipping from you, and you aimed to get up, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed and flustered. But he didn’t allow you to. He kept his arm on your torso and he gripped your face between his fingers, forcing you to look at him.

“And you’re a fuckin’ brat. Now that we have established that, I think we can come to an understanding. We’re the only ones left for a reason, so let’s take advantage of that, yeah? If you let me, I’ll take care of you.” 

You wouldn’t mind that. You wouldn’t mind that at all. You were an adrenaline junkie afterall, and what could be more adrenaline inducing than fucking a new-turned vampire?

“I think we could figure something out.”

[stevie-petey]

hiiiiiiiii honey <3 could we get a blurb about bug telling steve about jonathan’s outburst towards her after he took the pictures of nancy and steve’s reaction to learning about it???? it would be so so appreciated by me <3 you’re the best ever <3 MWAH

(i am being held against my will to write this jonathan sweetie im so sorry) (i love u val) (u are evil)

i know this isnt necessarily what u MEANT but ,,, ive been dying to expand upon bugs kindness and how it may seem annoying and pathetic, but its hers ! its her kindness !!!

enjoy <3

"no way you guys havent wanted to strangle each other at least once." steve remarks one day as he watches you and jonathan work side by side at the cash register.

jonathan had been bored today and decided to join you and steve at work, something that you're very happy about, honestly.

"oh, ive definitely wanted to strangle jonathan," you say, writing down a new shipment receipt while the boy next to you doodles.

steve rolls his eyes. "old married couple squabbling doesnt count. im talking, like, full on betrayal and hurt here. you guys are always so... you, and it has to be an act."

jonathan snorts. "shouldve seen the fights we had last year. surprised y/n didnt kill me with her bare hands."

"i dont believe you."

"no, hes right." you look up at steve. "he threw a jacket at my face last year and then told me we werent family the night he took those pictures of nancy. then cried in my arms like a day later."

steve stares at you, shocked.

"i also then slept in nancys bed and lied about it. and tried leaving you behind a few times."

"that you did," you flick jonathans ear, causing him to wince in pain. "you deserved that."

"i did."

during this entire exchange, steve hasnt said a single word. hes still stunned, baffled by the fact that jonathan could be so cruel to someone so wonderful.

"wait a second," he looks between you and jonathan. "and youre still friends?"

"yeah." you both say at the same time.

steve cant fucking believe it. you do anything and everything for jonathan, that much is obvious, and sure. steve has seen jonathan do small acts of kindness towards you, devote the same back, but to throw a jacket at you and belittle you? and now here he is, joking about it alongside you. as if it was all okay in the end.

"youre too nice sometimes, y/n." the words leave steves lips before he can stop them. once he realizes what hes said, he looks up at jonathan and panics. "sorry, man. im sure you guys talked it out and... yeah."

jonathan shrugs. "no, youre right. she is and i was dick."

"im right here, you know."

steve winces. "sorry."

"its fine, honestly." you go back to scribbling shipment orders. "i am indeed too nice, but i dont ever really see the point in holding a grudge? i mean, jonathan apologized and i understood the stress he was under. sure, it didnt erase all the hurt he caused, but after almost dying immediately after being mad at him for not including me in something... i dont know. it felt silly to hold onto that anger after. childish, even."

jonathan and steve share a look, for once both seeming to think the same thing.

shes too good.

you hate that they do this. you hate that people view your kindness as a weakness. after the hell youve been through, long before monsters even came to hawkins, youve learned the hard way just how rare kindness is.

now you try to be kind to everything and everyone, no matter what it may cost you.

the kindness is yours, no one elses.

and if that makes you weak, then at least it made you better.

you tear two pieces paper from your notebook, scrunch them up into balls, and then throw them at steve and jonathan. "stop pitying me. im kind and i love that aspect of myself. i dont care if it makes me vulnerable or pathetic. its a piece of me, and i wouldnt change it. if you dont like it, then that belittles me even more than emotional outbursts ever could."

jonathan sighs. "youre right, bug. youre a very kind and lovely person and its what makes you a joy to be around, paper balls and all."

steve plays along. "definitely a better super power than spider-man, dare i say."

"okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves now," you giggle, appreciative of both the boys. they may not understand or like the way you view the world, but theyre at least trying.

its all you could ask for.

even if steve later on that day pulls you aside to whisper, "i think i can kick jonathans ass this time, if you ever need it."

and its enough.

[celefrfr]

hiii!! can i get an angst to comfort joost fic where the reader is just having a really hard time lately w everything. like family, work, and just everything in general is stressing her/them out so they get really distant bc they feel bad about burdening joost and joost jusr shows up at their apartment and is like “why” and they break down in tears and it ends all fluffy?

February i almost died.

notes: this is actually a bit gotten from a real story, i removed the happy part of it , made parts different , and i just added joost lol, im good now, dont villanize my mom, she was very sad too because she knew i was always crying, shes a good person

summary: literally look at the request 👍

relationship:joost×fem!reader

WARNING! theres a part where Y/N commits sh (head banging)

Reader was always a very clingy person to Joost, always texting him, asking him to hang out, going to restaurants, but, november came, her mental health started to go down, she felt lonely, like nobody wanted her, like she was a burden, she never spoke, whenever she did she'd get ignored, she always argued with her parents, she made each of them cry at least once, she was guilty, she was close to running away from everyone and never coming back, the only thing stopping her was that she didnt have any money to use, one day, she was in her room listening to music, bawling her eyes out, in fetal position,her mom came in, she kinda screamed "go shower, and do your room." her voice cold "CANT YOU SEE HOW DOING RIGHT NOW?" Y/N screamed back "Y/N, youre never happy." her mom left and closed the door, Y/N got up, and slammed her head into the wall twice, she got white flashes each time, joost lived in an apartment, attached to hers, he could hear the banging, the crying, the screaming, as Y/N was pacing back and forth in her room just crying, joost was trying to find her , she didnt want to be a burden to him, so she ran to a public bathroom and just cried there, her eyes were already puffy from the day before since she cried everyday, when she calmed down, she went back to her house and into her room, just to find joost talking with her parents, he was almost screaming, arguing "YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER IS ON THE VERGE OF KILLING HERSELF OR RUNNING AWAY AND WHAT DO YOU DO? OH YEAH, LETS SCREAM AT HER A BIT MORE, MAYBE SHE WILL BE HAPPY, WHERE IS YOUR COMMON SENSE?" he yelled, her dad yelled back "SHE TRIES TO MAKE HERSELF A VICTIM,SHE NEVER LISTENS" joost didnt even answer, he noticed her rooms door closing so he ran and found her on her bed, staring into nothingness "what happened?" he asked, his tone concerned, he was almost gonna cry too, Y/N didnt answer, she just fell into his arms,crying, she showed him the mark of her head on the wall to him, he didn't say anything, he just packed her bags and got her to his house, made her favorite tea, atleast attempted to, since it was an ethnic recipe, put it near his bed, and got with her, trying to comfort her, he held her to his chest, she gave him a faint kiss on the cheek, the stubble hurting her face a bit, she didnt care, since it was him "Why didnt you tell me anything?" he asked "i didnt want to be a burden to you." she answered, he didnt say anything, just hugged her, he saw her eyes getting heavy, almost falling asleep on him, she looked so cute but so miserable, the only things keeping her alive were him and her phone, he kissed her, and told her "just know that if you even ran away i would find you and come with you.", the period of her life that went from november to february finally ended, she was there, felt happy, loved, for once.

[bizlybebo]

For your final thoughts on PD once you finish, I present to thee:

This ramble ask

How ya feeling?

HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTT ENDYYYYY

ENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT. I WAS NOTTTT EXPECTING ANYYYY OF THISSSS AAAAAAAAAAJRGBTJKWEFREGTKWEFREGTKRFGNYT

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR BY SENDING IN THIS ASK. KJREHKJERHD

this is probably gonna be even longer than my ramble after completing the greyscale series so once again i dont expect you to read all of this but OHHH YM GODDD i need to dump my thoughts somewhere cause HOLY SHITTT

after writing this out i really only managed to touch on the last 2-3 episodes but yk. there are my thoughts on the ending so it makes sense. i dont think we wanna see how big my ramble on the entire fucking series could get

spoilers ahead for anyone else who sees this: literally all of prime defenders s1 and s2

ashe came home.

ashe fucking CAME HOME.

now, i had a feeling since about episode 35 that ashe was certainly coming home, because there was so much buildup, yakko did an ashe cosplay, etc. like it would have been stupid for her not to return at that point. plus i kept seeing people drawing a post-trickster ashe and was like huh.

so essentially, i thought that because i Knew, i wouldn't get blindsided by these final episodes. in fact, knowing almost made it more... bearable? i guess, because i could hold onto the light at the end of the tunnel that ashe was 100% coming home. it almost made me feel the same hope that the group was feeling about ashe, because i had that certainty and faith in the good ending.

and then william wisp fucking died. again.

i was really sleepy when i was listening to that scene but still persisting because my anxiety was slowly increasing as the episode went on, but when the trickster just. plunged his hands through william's chest i was FULLY awake just sitting in absolute shock. i'm not the kind of person to cry huge tears over media (i think the only time i non-happy cried watching riptide was ep 53), but when william died For Real i actually gave a good few sobs. i was no longer sleepy i was just in shock and then in grief.

and i was like. oh shit. maybe there is no good ending.

something like that ENTIRELY blindsided me in such a crazy way that it had me doubting ashe would even come home.

and i kept thinking, hey, no, he's risen before, he'll be okay! but then he went to the fucking spirit realm. he got dispensed there with kumori and began the first day of forever and i was like oh. shit.

william was gone.

and the REACTIONS from dakota and vyncent were both so guttural and real and true to their characters in their own ways. like so good it's nearly painful to think about.

dakota's loud. he's loud and he's rambunctious because he's dakota. he never speaks below a shout.

but when william was torn in half, he wasn't shouting, he was wailing. the absolute shock and denial he was in haunts me dude.

dakota's was begging william not to do this to him. he could forgive william for so much-- for lying to him, for not asking for his help, for fucking killing jade, but he could never forgive william for dying.

dakota's not the kind of kid to ask, y'know? if something doesn't go the way it should to him then he'll fight abrasively and outwardly for what he believes is right, or in the harder cases he'll bite the bullet and take the fall.

but here, he was pleading with william to just. not die.

and i think the final thing that shattered my faith that hey, maybe william wasn't gone was that tide was so accepting of it. he fell to his knees, he grieved and he was torn apart for a second, but then he was back up, holding dakota, going as far as to use a whole turn in initiative to only hug his boy despite the deadly circumstances. despite the world falling apart around them. to loosely quote my other mutual cayden (<333), "at the end of everything hold onto something and dakota had to hold onto tide because it was the end of everything for him" and i think that's just. the only way i can really phrase it. top 10 moments that rewired my brain chemistry

and dont get me started on dakota LITERALLY JUMPING THROUGH HELL FOR EVERYBODY. JUMPING THROUGH HELL, LOOKING THE TRICKSTER IN THE EYES AS HE DID SO. LIKE I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT SOARING THROUGH THE BURNING SKIES OF THE CHAOS REALM? THE REALM THAT CORRUPTS AND WARPS EVEN THE STRONGEST DEMONS? AND STILL COMING OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE DAKOTA MOTHERFUCKING COLE AND YOU SIMPLY REFUSE TO SUCCUMB?? FUCKING INSANEEE.

and. fucking. fuck.

vyncent. MOTHERFUCKING. sol.

when i fucking catch condifiction.

vyncent sol is such an interesting fucking character. most of the time i'm like "there is something deeply wrong with him <3" in an endearing sense because yknow. he's a little strange. he's not from around here.

but oh my god.

vyncent sol, THE character development guy ever.

he starts off season 1 violent, unable to control his powers. he's violent, and he's scared, and he's homesick, and he's like a skittish dog who bites when it gets nervous because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here.

but he changes. he grows.

he gets his closure with fauna, yeah, but then he finds a new home. he finds himself in a flying car, chasing after the fucking lich, watching william and dakota fighting in the front seat like a married couple, and he just thinks yeah. this is home.

and he doesn't quite unlearn his violence or his vengeance but they do certainly shift gears (also tidbit-- the 'fatal flaw' of justice is vengeance which is part of why i chose him for that human soul in the undertale shit i was telling you about :D).

his character is about balance. he has to learn not to be reckless and violent like in season 1, while also not apathetic and taking inaction like he did in s2 episodes 31 and 32.

at the end of everything, he protects william with his life, ready to interpose any attack. he thinks that he can do right by somebody this time, act now so that there aren't any consequences later (y'know, like he never did with jade, or ashe, or the lich).

but william. still. dies.

the sheer anger that vyncent felt in that moment was overshadowed so strongly by his grief, but it was still there. i can't even put it into words without going on a whole nother tangent but oh my fucking god. dude. vyncent sol has irreparably rewired my brain he is all i'm gonna think about.

prime defenders honestly is just THE character development show in general. i haven't even touched on william's development, on how he put faith in his friends over mal even if he knew it was going to make things much harder because he trusted dakota and vyncent so much. on how he literally got killed, repeatedly, over and over, in the spirit realm for 12 hours straight. on how he dirtied his hands during the greyscale arc out of fear.

on how he finally. stopped. running. stopped trying to escape who he was. but still won't come out of the closet

and god this is a looooong fucking ramble and i haven't even said much yet, this is only me screaming about the last two episodes really, but so much has happened in them that i just AUUUUGUGHGGHGHJKTEHRKJ

and. holy fucking shit.

JADE??? MAY STILL BE ALIVE??? D OYOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING FERAL IM GOING OVER THIS JADE CANTRIP VENGEANCE ARC. I NEEEEEED XAVIERRRR TO SEE HER AGAINNNN JADE AND XAVIER'S FRIENDSHIP MEANS SO FUCKING MUCHHH TO MEEEEE

AND ATLAS? BRO POOR FUCKING ATLAS. he really could not catch a fucking break for the ENTIRE series. when bizly started describing the 'odd fizzling' i was like 'man this guy is just going THROUGH it with his career i feel kinda bad for him' and then.

he was dead.

i think grizzly said it best, how bizly has to 'keep reminding us that prime defenders is r-rated' cause yk. the sudden violence/gore. it was so impactful you were so right when you were talking about tonal whiplash because holy SHIT.

like we were just in mario kart hell chasing after le frog who stole pizza he couldnt even eat cause he was vegetarian. and then atlas' throat was slit and he was marked with an x. (x as in xavier's vigilante persona????????RTEHRTTT$YRJHTTETR)

im just AUGUGHGHGH so FUCKING UNWELLLL OVER THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I'M SO STOKED FOR WONDERLUST BUT ALSO THAT MEANS PRIME DEFENDERS PROBABLY WON'T RETURN UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR OR EVEN LATER.

i need a prime defenders christmas episode. dearly.

the bright side of this is that now i can write a shit ton of fic + inhale every single fic under the prime defenders tag on ao3.

but GODDD this is the most gutwrenching piece of media ever. i've never had such a strong hyperfixation since 2020 because the world is just so good. every single character and npc means the world to me. even summer and doug are constant subjects of my brainrot. even fucking lightspeed and harlem and aughughugnjtr.

thank you for the ask endy lmao im FUCKING CLAWING AT THE WALLS OVER THIS SHOW. AIUKGHEJHW

JADE CANTRIP REVENGE ARC PLSPSLPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS. I NEED HER TO COME BACK AND I NEED HER TO COME BACK WRONG AND I NEED XAVIER TO BE TERRIFIED OF HIS BEST FRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT'LL EMOTIONALLY DESTROY ME AKTJHETRKJTRWKERE

okay that's. all i can say for now

[the-kipsabian]

grief, death, funerals, a hint of selfharm, what have you. your triggers, if you will

in a really weird way, all this feels just performative to me now. ive cried today so much i feel strangely numb to it all, but at the same time i still have so much left bubbling inside of me that its hard to find a proper reaction or words for it

saying goodbye to someone youve known all your life, no matter how much or how little, is. still so hard. i havent done this in over ten years. its weird. but its difficult. trying to converse with people with happy memories when yours are so mudded when you havent seen them in a few years due to both personal reasons and a global pandemic forcing you apart from the compromised. when the last thing you remember them telling you is that you shouldnt complain about breakfast foods and asking why you are going to spend the night enjoying an activity thats not typically seen as a "girls thing" in an almost mocking manner, it paints a very distorted image in your mind about how you feel, and how you should feel. it makes things feel so odd, but you cant say anything about it, because this isnt the time to talk about memories you have but dont want to keep. youre supposed to fondly remember the ones we lost and celebrate what they gave us that we can still keep using in this life we have left

i. havent been grieving very well, if im being honest. not only does losing two people in a very short amount of time mess me up even more, but i feel like ive been so selfish in the memories i hold dear and the images i keep in my mind to remember these people by. i know its how i feel and its valid, but seeing everyone else grief with positivity just.. makes me feel. weird. odd. out of place. like im doing it wrong and i dont know how to fix it

i have felt selfish more than anything. i see people around me grieving terribly for these people and while i cant relate, it eats me up inside thinking that i could be causing people this kind of pain and suffering by wanting to die. i know its not right, i.. i dont want people to feel this way if i want to finally feel better one day and see no other choice. it makes me feel selfish that i think i could feel better by making it worse for everyone else. i know this current grief isnt about me, but it has made me think about it a lot. i dont know what i feel. i dont know how i want to live, if i want to live and for how long. but i feel like i have no other option but to go on. and its selfish of me to think that i have to do it. for other people and their feelings, but not for myself. cause i havent found that thing that actively makes me want to keep going. i know it makes no sense but it feels bad. it hurts. everything hurts

you should be able to tell people you love them while they are still here. not whispering it through tears while you set flowers down on a pile of dirt that now homes them. it shouldnt be like that. i dont know how it makes me feel. i. i dont even in the end know how much i really did love them. i mean i did. i think. but its hard to feel like i did. ive been so numb for so long and not tried to mend anything in the past few years and now i cant

i dont know how to feel about anything. i dont think i can feel anything

i just wish it didnt hurt

[librarycard]

sorry i need to write this and im really frunk but i need to type it anyway. when i was going home as many peopl know the first thing i did after top surgery was put on welcome to th ebblack parade. and i burst into tears. ic ouldnt help it. i was so happy. i was so fucking. and my dad. my dad hadnt seen me cry in fivce years. and he said so. i ahdnt reqalzed it had been so long. but when he sadi that he said should i pull ovcer because truly he didnt know what to do. he didnt. but tears streaming down my face i was like. please just listen. listen. do you understand what this was to me. what it was. there is clear memory of being 14 at a waterpark and looking agt my mom. while i wore a bikini and asking her to accept that i was a boy. i felt stupid . i felt righteous. i remembered gerard. my mom told me she'd never respect that and neither wuld my dad. one day they did but it took me threatening to never spewak to them. the thing is -> i could not give a fuck . DO OR DIE. youll never make me. go ancd trhy. youll never break me. WE ANT IT ALL. WE WANN APLAY THIS PART. and gthen. i looked my dad in the eye. the man who two years elarier would have nedver thought he could accept that iw as trans. the man who was driving me home from getting my top surgery at 5am. and thorugh tears along to gerard i muttered. i wont explain. or say im sorry. im unashamed. im gona show my scars. and in that moment i touched my chest. where the bandasges where. i knew i was being ridiculous. i knew i was crying from happiness even tohugh i hadnt cried from sadness since i was 14. and i said give a cheer for all the broken. dad. and listen here because its who we are. BECAUSE IM JUST A MAN (im not but i am) im not a hero (i never was and im not now) im just a boy(of course i am. of course) who had gto sing this song <- and the thing was if i hadnt gotten top surgery or started t i wouldve killed myself. i just wouldve. but of course i didbt. i was who i wanted to be. finally. i was in that car and id never been closer to what gerard was saying. i was there. finally. finally. finally. i was who i wanted to be. the drains were still attached, i hadnt seen my chest yet, and i was who i wanted to be. thank god. thank myself, because i was the one who fucking TRIED. TO . GET THESE THINGS. only me. in alabama, when i had to leave the state for almost a year just to get testosterone, i tried. and i did it. i did it. i did it. i am who i am. i am a man but im not a man. by virture of the fac tthat im not a hero. im j ust aboy. who had to lplay this part. isnt taht crazy. i had to. i dont anymore. i am who i am. i love who ia m. no matter how bad life gets. who i am is beautiful. i love it. i cherish it. and then when black parade ended i played mama. the song that when i was young made me ralize i was transgender. and i remembered how i felt the first time i heard it. walking in circles. outside mh house with my headphones in. so so young. realizing what i was. finally. and being scared so scared i stopped listening to mcr. nd now i think. i had no idea. that htings could be okay. that my body could be my body.and now it is. thakn you my chemical romance. THANK YOU WASHINGTON <- me. because i deserve to be thanked for being myself. k bye

[ethernetmeep]

attended graduation. surprisingly cried less than i was anticipating, at least during the event. cried a bit afterwards, mix of realization & fear of not being able to get home safely. i did, luckily… my mother eventually came. wore a suit & tie, specifically the tie my friend gifted to me. heated up like a car in front of the sun. brought a drink since i knew if i didnt id maybe faint because of heat exhaustion. more likely nausea.

sat with an acquaintance, rambled to her. felt sick during most of the ceremony. almost puked, uh… three times. nerves hit like a brick wall. literally. nauseous because of nervousness. wanted to yell & holler but i dont have the voice for that. simple quiet ‘yay’ syllables had to suffice. brought sheldon & wiffle & chiquitito. gave chiquitito a bath before i left. got ready an hour or so early. sat outside & looked at birds in the meantime

in an ideal world i am very smart & funny & talented & talk to everyone & perfect. in an ideal world i dont get so worried my body physically shuts down. in an ideal world, i would be able to say something as simple as, “oh my gosh, i’m so happy for you! take care!” without bile festering. i try to live in this ideal world, try to be the best i can, but ive learned this is really really hard for me to do because frankly i am quite stupid. i know this is a haha funny joke 70% of the time but if i actually start gagging on nothing i know it’s probably a bad sign and i should stop overworking myself lest i actually do puke. it would not be very appealing to throw up in front of a plethora of my peers & their families. god…..

don’t even.. don’t.

[head in hands]

fine. FOR THE SAKE OF JOURNALISM! nothing else.

“I FUCKING— I HATE THEM. SO MUCH. I’M SORRY, I KNOW THATS MEAN—“

mother & other party member: “ITS NOT MEAN.”

[still reeling from remnants of stomach acid (as i did not eat anything in the morning when i took my meds which probably doesnt help this, although i didnt wanna eat then puke up whatever food it was i ate there either)] “I’M JUST— UGH! I’M SO FUCKING, I’M SO MAD.”

snippet of conversation. back seat with extra space just because. emotional & still nauseous. almost cry on the way home because of these weird things called human emotions, tears only well up; don’t actually fall. ramble to a man who knows a lot of people. miscellaneous conversations follow, like the one where i ask him if he can do anything about my favorite teacher being laid off. he says he’ll try. he…. how do i say this… knows… many individuals…. hes nice, slowly grown more used to his presence. i think if i cried with tears and snot long enough he’d be able to do many things, which is crazy & absurd but genuinely accurate. scarily accurate.

home, sitting outside & watching birds feed from the bird feeder. emptied it while i was gone. northern flicker, blue jay, blue-capped chickadee, common grackle, tufted titmouse… a wide variety. sprinkle some seeds on the ground for both squirrels & robins since they seem to not use the bird feeder much. robin right in front of me now, actually [was when i was typing this sentence]

i only made one note / doodle in my notebook during the event, but with words written & context applied its maybe better i don’t share it. saying…. heated words….. from a person that dislikes being rude unless someone is genuinely vile, is not as vague as one thinks they are. still, its pretty funny to imagine me being violent… slap thing was genuinely the first time i ever put my hands on someone like that

anyway, now theres three grackles near my bird feeder. two underneath. they’re so cute its almost upsetting, except its not. its quite nice to feel less alone

something something hi there something something oh hey i said everything now. i should probably lay down before my stomach gets worse

really happy i went, though. wouldn’t miss it for the world

[lipglossanon]

BOOM BACK AT IT AGAIN CUZ I DONT WANNA LEAVE PEOPLE HANGING😍

OKAY SO. To answer your questions, I honestly didn’t think that far ahead lmao. I just wanna feel hurt😋 but to help u a bit, maybe the girl could be someone who Leon’s really close with, like a childhood friend or some sort; she just comes over at his house to hang out since they haven’t seen each other for so long. If they are childhood besties then they can be quite touchy with each other, hugging and touching together without being overly weird; I’d say that the girl could have a crush on Leon and is really happy that they’re so close together, but ofc Leon doesn’t feel that way since he has his adorable lil sis with him (but she doesn’t know that) and because the reader doesn’t know who this strange woman is, she just assumes that they are dating or must have feelings for each other from how close they seem, so her poor little heart breaks to pieces :( she feels angry but not at Leon tho surprisingly, she’s angry with herself because she thinks it’s wrong to feel this way; she knows very well that they’re not together like that and she doesn’t have the right to feel jealous and hurt seeing Leon with another girl, but she can’t help it😭 she can’t help but feel so heartbroken because she thought she was the only special girl to him like he told her? She thought she was the only one to have him like he had her, the only one to see him being comfortable enough with her to playfully tease her. But the sight of them poking fun at each other and reminiscing back the old memories they have that have her confused cuz she has no idea what they’re talking about, that hurts. A lot.

Laying almost lifelessly on her bed, she never thought that she’d experience the feeling of heartache like the ones she read in romance books or watched in those movies. She had always thought that those weren’t real and that they’re really corny, but oh how wrong she was. She hated it, she hated it so much because it hurts so bad. She wants the feeling to go away, but the images of Leon pulling that girl into his chest and laughing together with her only made her want to rip her own heart out. What made it even worse was that she could still hear them from here, their laughter, giggles, whispers, and sounds of clothes rustling around only made her want to throw up; tears continued to fall down her cheeks onto her pillow, creating a small wet spot on it. She cried so much that she fell asleep from how tired she was, so tired that she didn’t notice the sound of knocking and the concerned voice of her mother.

Slowly fluttering open her puffy eyes, she realized that it was time for dinner; she couldn’t hear the sound of the girl anymore, but that didn’t make her feel any better as she could also hear Leon’s voice together with her mother’s. He also sounded worried, gently knocking on her door and twisting the locked doorknob; growing a bit annoyed at their constant knocking and voices, she got up from her bed, not even bothered to wipe the dried-tears on her face or hide her red eyes, and opened the door. She ignored the looks of concern on their faces and continued to face down on the floor blankly as she walked past them and down to the kitchen; Leon stood there, feeling confused and worried at her odd behavior, he absolutely hated to see her cry, it always tugged at his heart strings painfully. Dinner was so tense and quiet, all three of them were deeply concerned with her being so silent and…robotic? She didn’t banter with Leon like she used to, moving around as if she’s a puppet that has no soul in its empty shell. Quietly dismissing herself from the table, she put her plate into the sink and slowly walked back up to her room; Leon quickly stood up as well and ran after her, catching her wrist when they both got up near her room. “Sweetheart please, tell me what’s wrong. Who made you cry?” His furrowed brows and frowned lips made her feel a bit bad, but her pretty eyes that were once so full of life turned so so dull, it made him clench his teeth. Her answer, however, made him feel as if he was being crushed,

“You.”

AAAHHH IK ITS THE SAME ENDING BUT I CAN'T THINK OF A SPECIFIC ONE SORRY😭😭 But yea that’s what I’m thinking right now, you can do whatever for the ending, embrace the freedom :)

Not me out here crying 😭

gosh Leon is such a dumb boy sometimes, being silly with his friend and not thinking twice cause he only sees her as, well his friend lmao. so he doesn’t even realize how much heartbreak he’s caused until later 😥

JAKSHC the same ending 😭 gosh no, okay I totally have plenty to work with!! I just didn’t want to go off on a totally different tangent and then post it and it be like what? 🤨 😆

It’s going have angst but I’m on the fence on whether I want to have sort of a ambiguous ending or totally angsty or a reconciled one 🤔 so many ways it can go!!

[s3cr3tjuic3]

long post ahead!! this is purely copy and paste so sorry for any spelling errors

after they get brought back, regressors roxas and xion and caregiver axel bc theyve all been through so much

roxas and xion regressing bc, i mean, they never had a childhood and axel just easily takes up the mantle of caregiving bc i he loves them so much and they deserve to have a healthy coping mechanism and dangit they are just so cute!

the two started regressing involuntarily and neither could put a name to it, they both would just find axel and tell him something was wrong and cry and all axel could do was craddle the two and tell them it would be alright

it wasnt until riku visited one day and the two "had another episode" and riku saw and pointed out that they were regressing

axel didnt catch on as fast but the two littles did and they were devastated

riku easily stepped up and calmed the little down. after a little explaining to axel what age regression was, axel didnt even think before he started taking care of them.

riku decided that it was nap time to he "coherced" the two littles to lay down and watch a movie while he "got them a surprise"

riku taught axel how to make the kids angel milk and even wrote it down. the two presented the sippys and while xion was eager to taste whatever sugary surprise riku made, roxas w as shy abt the idea of drinking from a sippy cup but ge eventually gave in and the two littles passed out before even finishing the cups

axel asked riku how he knew so much about age regression and riku was silent for a moment.

-"riku you dont have to tell me"

-"no, its not that, its just... sora was a little and i used to be his caregiver... i just miss him is all"

that couldn't be said without a little tears, everyone missed sora and no one was any step closer to finding him

the two regressors had a talk with axel and riku the next time they were big, riku explained an answer to every question they asked, very knowledgeable in experience. the two had a hard time accepting the coping mechanism their brain choose for them but [riku: "its a totally healthy and normal coping mechanism and response. i know nobody says it but you were put through a lot and deserve to be able to experience the childhood you never had"] it was just a little bit easier after that

riku was a frequent babysitter and the two littles even started calling him "bubba"

before sora disappeared, when riku was new to caregiving, he worriedly searched everywhere for an appropriately sized paci for sora and ended up in traverse town before sid. riku tried to be as inconspicuous as possible around sid but sid had been around long enough to gather that something was going on and confronted riku abt it. riku caved and told him about sora coming to him regressed one nice and how he had sucked on his thumbs for so long that he had a blister and riku really needed a replacement. pitbull sid, been there, done that actually had a hidden supply of adult pacis. he knew a few people who were littles and, hey, he does run a shop, so he supplied some just in case he ran into someone who needed it. riku almost cried tears of joy when sid presented him with a plain red a paci and riku was off back to the tower to give sora his new present. the little boy was beyond happy and spent the rest of the day curled up to riku's side with his new paci

[underratedandoverit]

slipping out of my fingers

912 words past orangekip

im sorry i wrote angst i. i dont know. my mind is dealing with something rn clearly even tho its not on the surface but like. yeah. this has been plaguing me the past few days and so i just barfed the words out and here we are. this is kinda alternative events post immortal fears there is no happy ending. im sorry

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate (im tagging yall since you wanted to be tagged in everything, not cause i think you'd enjoy suffering tonight)

on ao3

-------------

The house was so quiet it almost made him nauseous.

Cassidy had been dragging himself through every room possible, being met with the same silence and loneliness every single time. Every single light of hope had dimmed after another, every single door opened to an empty room without a single soul inside it.

Without him ever encountering that smile he had grown so fond of. The laugh that still rang in his ears whenever he heard certain words. The arms that always wrapped around him in a comforting manner when he needed it the most. The soft lips he was so used to be able to kiss whenever he wanted.

He couldn’t find any of those inside these rooms anymore. There’s nothing left behind but darkness.

Heartache.

Every curtain was closed. There were no open windows. The deafening silence lingered around stronger with each room he peeked into, eating alive the final pieces of hope Cassidy had.

He would just need to accept it.

The heartache.

Standing in front of the last door, his hands were shaking. Cassidy didn’t want to face this, but he was told he needed closure. That he needed to embrace the acceptance, that he needed to do this for himself. For their sake.

For Kip's sake.

The door handle was so cold. The tingling feeling shot through his entire body, making him shiver. It wasn’t always like this. This used to be one of the places he spent most of his time when he was home, the one room Cassidy could guarantee he would find company whenever he entered it. The room where most of the tears were shed, but also the one where things had been pushed into motion. Where they had healed, alone, separately, together.

Where they had finally said those faithful words.

There were no sunglasses to hide the tears tonight. He wasn’t even trying to hold them back as he pushed the door open finally, getting slammed in the face with every single memory at the same time, looking over the dark, messy room that hadn’t been occupied in what seemed like weeks now.

The bed covers that either of them so rarely made. The extra darkened curtains to make this a safe space. The dresser half pulled open, single clothing items draped over the edges of the drawers.

Everything just as he remembered leaving it when he walked away the first time.

Cassidy wandered slowly into the room, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. The air was still, heavy with dust, not at all how he remembered it. This had been a place of love before, holding so many strange, heavy days and nights for them both. He could vividly remember every late night conversation they had sitting on the floor at the same time. The way that hand ran through his hair, the way those eyeliner heavy eyes looked at him after they cried together for what felt like the millionth time.

There had been times before, both good and bad, making up, apologies, words that shouldn't have been said but were still shared out of both love and desperation. 

And he wasn’t going to get any of that back again.

He rustled through his jacket pocket for a brief moment, pulling out the note he had found from the kitchen counter earlier. The handwriting was familiar, but it seemed shakier than usually, even after getting better it rarely returned to this bad anymore. Or at least as far as he could remember, it didn't. This was something else, this wasn’t the usual relapse.

Cassidy read the note over and over again, until the tears made it impossible to see the letters anymore, forcing him to crumble the piece of paper, dropping it to the floor.

He carefully laid down on the bed, eyes filled with dust and tears, staring blankly at the ceiling. He had seen this view so many times before, but those dark, lonely nights were nothing compared to the pain shooting through him right now. At least before he would know someone would come for him, help him up on his feet again, be there for him at a moment of weakness like this.

This time, and from now on, he would just be alone.

The phone buzzed in his pocket. On an autopilot he pulled it out, some sense of sick hope in him making Cassidy think this was a sign. No. No, it was just Chuck. He was outside, asking if Cassidy was ready to go.

He slowly sat up, replying to the text barely registering the letters he was punching on the screen. There was no reason to wallow in it, he had to accept the fact that this was how it was going to be right now, and this was how this was going to be from now on. And that he couldn't do anything about it. 

Cassidy took one more glance around the room before he stood up. He didn’t want to leave, but at the same time the happy memories inside here were too much for his heart to handle. Everything was already broken, there was nothing he could do to fix it. Turning on his heels, he dragged himself out of the room, closing the door slowly behind him.

Closing the final door to the love he could possibly receive back from Kip anymore.

We have decided to try again with Penelope. I’m sorry. I love you.

[lucysarah-c]

*deep breath*

Hello.

I dont think there are words in the English vocabulary to explain how much I love holy ground so I wont even try.

But but, I just wanted you to know that I started this series yesterday and I finished it today. I LITERALLY HAVE EXAMS GOING AND I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO GIVE A FUCK BECAUSE WOWOWIWEOSJSGHD YOU WRITE SO GOOD I AM CRYING LAUGHING I LOVE YOU SMSM PLS DONT EVER STOP WRITING PLS WRITE MORE AND MORE BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAXING EXTRAORDINARY SUPER COOL AND HOLY SHIT SO POETIC SO BEAUTIFUL THIS IS THE BEST LONGFIC I'VE EVER READ THANK YOU SM FOR WRITING THIS.

okay, I'm sorry, I'm normal now.

But literally I love you so much. Not only can you write so well but you can also draw?? Wtf?? Can you step on me please? So maybe I could have some shred of your talent?

Literally love your sense of humor. Can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. The banters between levi/mike and levi/reader was hilarious. I also cried a hell lot because i relate a lot to how you wrote reader and I think so reading the story kind of healed me because Levi is the type of person I need in my life.

I'm sorry I rant a lot.

Byt thank you.

And I love you.

<3

Ok… I… I simply have no words to thank you enough for this, for your sweet words, your enthusiasm, your support, everything! I wanted to take my time to reply to you properly, but since I read your message in my inbox, it made my day, my night, my week, haha. I was almost in tears-

100% no fake picture of me reading your message:

Don't ever apologize for ranting! This was amazing! Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart <3

Hahaha, honestly, nobody has asked me to step on them before; it was hilarious. I bet you're extremely talented on your own, and there must be a bunch of people who admire you <3 You truly don't need me to be talented <3 But thank you! I always say that writing and drawing are both a blessing and a curse. When I'm writing, I think I should be drawing, and when I'm drawing, I think I should be writing. Haha, the stress never stops.

Ahaha, I'm so glad you find my sense of humor funny. Sometimes I have a blast while writing certain chapters, particularly the "guys" hangouts (Erwin, Hange, Mike, and Levi). I think, "Does anything that I write ever make someone laugh?" Sometimes, I reread old chapters, laugh, and then say, "I'm hilarious." So thank you! Thank you for making me feel I'm not laughing alone, lol.

BTW, a little spoiler for you! In the next chapter, the boys' hangout is back. Mike, Hange, Levi, and Erwin will have a blast, so I hope you have a good fun time reading about them again <3

About the reader, I'm happy and also sad you relate to her. Happy that I was able to write an MC that made you feel seen and understood, but also sad because I wish no girl in this world should feel the way she feels. So I'm sending you the TIGHTEST hug in the world, smooches with a lot of love, and, obviously, my best successful wishes for your ongoing exams! I'm not wishing you luck because I'm so sure you've got this; you're already succeeding <3

Don't thank me; thank you for reading, coming here, leaving this beautiful message, and supporting me and my art <3

I love you too from the moon and back!

Stay safe!