#alpaca grind

[nlomadraws]

the sun

did this in medibang so i have timelapse yippee :3 just messed around w this one tbh tryna get back on the digital art grind :> will be sticking w fire alpaca though

[cindycintn]

What To Do with Leftover Luxury Yarn?

Left with really expensive knitting yarn after making a gorgeous sweater? Ideas for what to do with it, pattern included!

I don’t play yarn chicken. Life is too short for that kind of teeth grinding, blood pressure elevating stress in my life. If I’m knitting a nice sweater out of all-wool, cashmere, alpaca, or some other luxury yarn, I make sure I have enough yarn to make the best sweater I can make.  That leaves a happier problem than running out of yarn (i.e., losing at yarn chicken – frantically trying to…

[alpacahat67]

TWST ch6 on EN and TWST EN's censoring - How the HELL?

Below the cut is spoilers for some major parts of TWST's storyline, particularly books 4 + 6 and miscellaneous spoilers for stories/events that aren't story-important (such as Ruggie's backstory and the Phantom Bride event)

There's also a mention of attempted sewer slide stay safe guys

Hey, Alpaca's back again with a TWST rant! So... with the leaks I've seen of the February schedule, we're probably getting Ignihyde dorm cards in February. Which means book 6 soon!

As an Idia Shroud enthusiast, I'm PUMPED for that dorm card and to be able to play TWST for an extended period of time because my attention span just can't sit there and grind with no purpose. However, I've also read translations for book 6, and with my combined knowledge of book 6, the backstory of the Shroud brothers, and the themes in the translation of TWST EN, I'm also scared.

Death and grief are a HUGE part of Idia and Ortho's characters. Ortho as we know him wouldn't even exist without death and grief. However, EN has a tendency to censor things regarding death and murder. [1] This is most notable in their censoring in the Phantom Bride event, where Idia is dragged into marrying a ghost named Eliza against his will who ends up ditching him for another ghost. In the Japanese version, they seem to be very on the nose with the fact that if Eliza were to marry Idia, he would die. But on the English version, if my memory suits me right, it's said that Idia would join Eliza in the spirit realm and not much else. They've even censored parts in Ruggie's story where it's mentioned that his mother died shortly after giving birth to him.

With their aversion to talking about a concept like death... censoring book 6 would completely undermine everything about the Shrouds. From Ortho's reason to even exist to why Idia overblotted. The entire book surrounds death to such a degree that separating the concept from the book will COMPLETELY alter the Shroud brother's characters.

I believe it'd end up similar to book 4. Book 4 also had an essential part censored - Jamil and Kalim's master/servant relationship. Their relationship is the entire reason why Jamil tried to usurp Kalim, it's the exact reason why Jamil holds a grudge against Kalim, even if their relationship isn't Kalim's fault. TWST EN avoids Jamil referring to Kalim as his master and avoids him referring to himself as a servant. I can't think of a solid reason as to why this change was made, maybe it's North American culture, but it just undermined Jamil's motivation for everything he did in book 4. If Jamil just worked for Kalim and wasn't born into being his servant, why was his jealousy so strong?

Just as the erasure of Jamil's role as Kalim's servant altered his motivations, Ortho not dying or the idea that he is dead would alter Idia's motivations. The loss of a loved one is the entire reason why Idia rebuilt him, accepted the fact he'd never be free from the curse, locked himself away, and basically attempted to kill himself just to be with his brother again. The "real" Ortho's death is why Ortho teams up with his other self in book 6 in the first place, he wants to be like the person he was modeled after so he can see his brother happy again.

If they remove death from the story of Idia and Ortho, they might as well make them different characters.

However, I can imagine one way that would be remedied. If Idia remembers that he "lost" Ortho in some way, didn't remember how, yet still felt responsible for it, the extent of his grief likely wouldn't change. Of course, it'd be a little upsetting they're erasing such an integral part of his character, but if they're going for censoring without altering the story, that's their best bet. Even then, Ortho dying would have to be somewhat implied. How else would he be in the underworld? How else would he have that conversation with Idia after his overblot convincing him to stay? (Oof... that whole convo would be censored too, wouldn't it? This entire book is DARK.)

I didn't proofread this, so sorry.

EDITS:

[1] Correction; Phantom Bride was not as censored as I thought. I completrly forgot any Idia saying he would "literally DIE" if him and Eliza "smoocharoo" which is bullied him relentlessly for. Tbf... I didn't read it as intently and I read Firelit Skies or WUAS lmao. I think I was extremely loopy when I wrote this.

[thessalian]

Thess vs QOL Improvements

I think I said previously how a lot of people in the Wylde Flowers subreddit (and, hell, nearly any game subreddit) tend to want a lot of things in their game. Generally, those things are complicated to code at best, and don’t really add to the gameplay experience that much. However, there are some things that I think could be added to the game with minimal potential coding snafus. Given Reddit striking (I mean, I think the subreddit is still active but a boycott feels like a thing), I guess I’ll lay those out here. I mean, there’s only a couple? But I feel like they’d be good ones.

More jewellery crafting. Look, the gemstones you can dig up in this game are as follows: amethyst, topaz, sapphire, ruby, emerald, and diamond ... and, y’know, you can find pearls as well. Thing is, the only gemstones you can use when crafting jewellery are amethyst and diamond, and those are just recolours of the same jewellery mesh. So all they’d really have to do is do a few more recolours and bam - more jewellery to make, to wear or sell as desired. Granted, largely it’d be a popular one for wearing - amethyst doesn’t go well with all outfits, and people might like jewellery specifically coloured to go with their favourite items of clothing.

Different ways to make dyes. Another element of this game is clothing, and if you want the full achievement for crafting everything in the game, you have to make them all. There are a lot of outfits, largely recolours, so this involves a lot of making and dyeing cloth. Thus, dyes. Red, yellow, and blue are made by grinding up a variety of items in those colours - like, for instance, lemons and sunflowers for yellow, poppies and red clay for red, blueberries and blue tulips for blue. Problem being, if you’re keeping a lot of beehives going, you want to keep as many of your flowers blooming as possible, so you’re not necessarily going to want to harvest them, you get nine blueberries every few days or so during a couple of in-game seasons, and lemons ... well, a lot of animals’ favourite foods are lemons, and you need lemons for tanning solution for making leather, so you want a lot of that. Sure, you can grind harvest boost potions, but as well as making those three primary colours, you have to mix them to get purple, orange, and green. But why only grind those? Crocuses in this game are purple, and marigolds are orange, and there are a lot of things in general that are green. Why, oh why can’t we have two options for making those three other colours - one mixing primary colours and the other grinding up things of the appropriate colour? It would be a definite quality of life improvement, and I don’t think it would take much in terms of coding.

Alternatives for coloured cloth. Following on from the above, by the time you hit endgame, you’re trying to raise rainbow sheep and alpacas for rainbow wool to make rainbow cloth. By that point in the proceedings, if you’re making enough rainbow cloth to stockpile, would it be particularly difficult to be able to choose whether you want to use the particular coloured cloth or a bolt of rainbow cloth? In-game logic would say “It’s magic; it could turn into whatever colour you want it to”. Out-of-game logic ... there’s already a function where you can choose via a kind of drop-down menu what type of a particular element you want to use for your crafting. Like, if you’re cooking, you can choose which of the various kinds of eggs you’re going to use (with chickens, ducks, and magical versions of both, there are a fair few options), or fish with some recipes (and also for leather; fish leather is apparently A Thing). That means that the structure for that kind of selection is already in the game, so it might not take too much to expand it. Plus it would keep the gameplay balance pretty even when it needs to be, since you don’t get rainbow anything until Year 2 or so, and by then you’re mostly grinding for leftover achievements anyway.

More reasons to use Cat Familiar mode. Look, we have crabs all over the beach, the occasional seagull, and mice in the barn. More to the point, we have code for the cat catching things already - picking up small plants, catching fish and crickets. Why can Cleocatra (that is the name the game gave her; do not look at me like that) not hunt the damn mice?!? That could be where we get the bones she’s always throwing at us when we pet her from! It’d be fun to go cat and hunt crabs the way we hunt crickets. (Incidentally, maybe have crickets somewhere that isn’t across town?!? I have to blow an in-game hour running around as cat to get to the one spot where I can catch crickets for fishing bait.)

SHEEP MEAT. Lamb, mutton, call it what you will, but when you sell a sheep to Kim and they come back with leftovers, you don’t get meat - you just get hide, bone, and animal fat. SHEEP ARE EDIBLE. I mean, I get it with alpacas, but they added duck and pork recipes with the April update, both as options in meat-based dishes and their own individual recipes; why can’t we have lamb?

So that’s basically it. Really not much. There are a few other ideas but they would probably mess with gameplay balance too much and be harder to code. That’s the main thing, I guess; when I ask for things in a game, I like them to be things that could actually be done sensibly, and without too much potential to break the game, either through potentially problematic code or just balance issues. I don’t want to mess too much with the game I am really enjoying; I just want there to be a bit more reward for getting to the point in game when you’re swimming in resources and need to spend them someplace. I’m hoping for a Year 3 patch at some point, but I don’t figure that’ll be for a little while. I mean, the new animals (ducks, pigs, and alpacas) only came in April, and the Endless Seasons thing (basically being able to play past the point where there’s actual plot) was only December last year. If they want to code Year 3 content, they’d need to figure out how to implement it anyone not starting a new run-through. But that might not be too hard, I guess - all they’d have to do is have the new content go “Start This Next Spring After Year 2 Content”, and done.

I go down some very interesting rabbit holes.

[sweetpea-sprite]

Making my way through smoky mountain and I am very confused

Rashaad(I cannot remember if his name is different): ah yes, you need a white combo key for this door!

Oliver: but I only have red and blue, I don't have that one

Rashaad: ah but if you combine them, you'll get a white combo key! Go ahead and cast the spell

Oliver: but... Doesn't that make purple? Not white?

Rashaad: cast the spell Oliver

(context, that last part doesn't happen in game but it should have why do they make white, why the fuck do they make white not purple?)

KXAMLKVBMSDKLMKLSADMVBMLSADMASDLKAS yeah literally. the combo key thing is so weird i think you use it one time other than old smoky in the entire game. like it's cool i just don't know why it's there

Fighting moltaan

My mitey: hit with massive fucking fireball dealing 64 damage

Game: nice!

Me: no it's not???

Mitey: not even half damage taken

Me: oh.

This is what happens when you grind I guess *vivid flashbacks to me fighting moltaan in wotww and surviving only on Oliver by hiding behind it's tail and dealing tiny damage*

WOTWW MOLTAAN LITERALLY JUST SUCKS ASS dotdd is so tame by comparison swear to god

I'M LIKE SIX TURNS IN AND THE BITCH IS DEAD, MITEY FUCKING KICKED HIS ASS HARD I JUST USED ONE RALLYING CRY AND GOT THAT SUPER MOVE AND BOOM 400 DAMAGE AND HE'S DOING HIS WEAK POSE THEN FUCKING DEAD

RALLYING CRY IS SO. tbh the buffs in dotdd are Ridiculous. esther's attack buff song goes crazy she's actually significantly more useful in dotdd than wotww. and once she gets her magic attack buff song? Insane.

Those knight guys showed up again, the funniest part of that cutscene is another npc is still there and he's just walking towards and then away from the knights like he's debating if he should say something or ask if they need help considering desert and in full metal armour and I think that's just hilarious

"oh should I? They're probably burning.. oh no it'd just be rude- oh but should I? No no... Maybe? No.. yes? No? No. ...yes?"

KLASVMNAKLSDBMDKLAMMBMDSDLBKMSDKLB

EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME

WHAT.

I forgot to heal so going back to town to do that but I got both the alpacas, I alled one llama and the other one is ALPACA?

YEAH. yeah they're just alpacas. they're little guys. i assume the translators were like i mean the name just translates to alpaca i don't know what to tell you

gonna answer your last question with the actual ask because it's lore :]

[snow-system-wol]

Progress on FATEs!

All Rank 2 at least for ShB and EnW

(Dawntrail)

Mostly rank 2 aside from the final zone, and Urqopacha is our first maxed out zone!

Also got like 2 levels of exp

Maxing Urqopacha unlocked this alpaca minion for purchase which abxnsjxnsj

IT'S SO SMALL

(ft. Nimda @soothingmind who was FATE-grinding with us, ty)

[nancypullen]

Entering My Crone Era

I'm making decisons, y'all. Left and right, I'm making choices and changes that will hopefully serve me well. Some are bigger than others, but they all feel like progress. Here's a sampling.

Work. I left the library for a number of reasons, and I'm comfortable with that choice. My coworkers were wonderful and I feel fortunate to have retained those friendships. I mentioned that I might have a different opportunity with a local magazine. I let myself get excited about that possibility. After a breakfast meeting with the owner of the magazine and a very generous and tempting offer, I knew in my gut it wasn't right for me. The owner is a vibrant, smart woman with a vision and she is looking for an assistant editor, someone who will do everything from gathering local info (building permits, marriage licenses, etc) to creating a monthly puzzle, editing advertising and content, and so on. Younger Nancy would have jumped on that. Nancy who is turning 61 soon just wants to tap out little stories on her laptop. I have no fire in my belly, no need for a career, and definitely no desire to worry about deadlines. Maybe those are failings, but I'm honest enough to know that I'm not what she needs right now. She's way too nice for me to give less than 100%. I told her that I was flattered to have been considered and that's true. So, I remain unemployed, unmotivated, and oddly happy about that. If you need me I'll be painting, writing, making my snarky cards, and playing with clay. So that was a big decision, now here's a small one that I've made. I have an appointment tomorrow to get all of this hair cut off. It may be temporary insanity due to summer heat, but I do believe that I am finished spending too much time coaxing this mop into something resembling human hair. No matter how hard I work at it, I look like an alpaca.

I figure that if I'm getting rid of the length, I might as well get rid of the color too. Why burden myself with that never-ending upkeep? For decades I tried to keep up with my naturally brunette hair as the gray and white crept in. When the pandemic hit I let the white win. After getting feedback that white hair made me look older, and allowing myself to give a damn about that (whyyyy?), I went blonde. So for the last couple of years I've been regularly bathing my head in chemicals so society might think I'm 55 instead of 60. How stupid is that? Anywayyyyy....this is the photo I sent to my hair magician.

I have taken into account that I am not beautiful like Helen Mirren, that I have twice as much hair as Helen Mirren, and that I do not own that spectacular sequined gown and cardigan combo that is an absolute dream come true. I am 100% certain that I will look less like Helen Mirren and more like Mrs. Claus, but I'm sticking with my decision.

I've had this tumble of waves (coaxed into being with a big, round brush and a flat iron) for so very long. It's run its course. Not going to lie, I get plenty of compliments on my hair, but those people don't know the battle. The drying time alone is a grind. I want minimal upkeep, and if that makes me ugly I'm willing to take the hit. Let the youngsters worry about that sort of stuff. In pagan religions there are three phases of a woman's life - maiden, mother, and crone. Those are also known as youth, warrior, and sage. The maiden stage signifies youth and growth, think springtime. You're a rosebud! The mother stage puts us firmly in our nurturing years - wiccans celebrate this chapter of fertility, power, and responsibility. They associate it with the full moon. Lastly, we become a crone. Our work is mostly done and we have gained insight. We know ourselves better, we understand more about life and people, we're emotionally and mentally stronger, and hopefully all of this has given us wisdom. It's a shame that the word crone has become associated with physical appearance, a synonym of hag. Once upon a time it only meant an older woman who was intuitive and wise. I'm not as wise as I hope to be, but I'm much wiser than I used to be. I am firmly, happily, and gratefully in my crone years. I mean, to be truly happy I'd have to live in an enchanted cottage in the woods and have the power to communicate with animals - but there's still time. I'm an entry level crone, plenty of years ahead of me. That, my friends, is the nonsense that I needed to shake out of my head and onto this keyboard today. The Edgewaters left on Saturday afternoon, Mickey and Matt jetted out of Baltimore early this morning and the house is quiet. The cats are napping in sunbeams and I'm going to sit down at my desk and make something with my hands. I haven't had a chance to do that in ages and my soul needs it. I hope you're feeding your soul something healthy as well - kind words, acceptance, forgiveness. Get rid of junk food like the opinions of others or ridiculous expectations of perfection. Take it from a wise, old crone, your soul will flourish if you feed it right. I'll be back tomorrow with photos of the impending hair disaster. Until then, stay safe, stay well, and be kind to yourself. XOXO, Nancy

[sharowolet]

fe: engage(ment)

disclaimer i have horrible taste in men and any blonde howl-adjacent looking man will immediately make their home in my arms

one arm is for alfred and the other arm is for amber, i do not take criticism thank you have a good day

but anyway :3 i did the divine paralogue! tiki!!! hehe... i loved her convo with marth, sooo cute!!!

i just finished ch 9 and i am aware i lose my rings after ch 10 so i am frantically trying to grind ring skills before i go cry :) who am i without my rings...

anyway back to amber, the man told me about his alpacas and i immediately got on one knee

honorable mention to alcryst for your fat crits and corner shots, and chloe for just existing

[thikshapeshiftr]

suddenly want to ramble about OC stuff here uhhhhhh.

there's one story of mine that's currently called Lifefeline. its story is pretty much nothing except "silly rpgmaker game with animal people that apparently has lore" right now - but the ENTIRETY of my progress with said game (as well as the laptop it was on) was completely lost due to personal junk i really don't want to get into. cool, right???

BUT i do have some stuff of it saved on my phone (and brain); a set of screenshots of one event, a few head sprites (or whatever the dialogue box thingies are called), and some concept stuff!

here u go :}

^ that's the protagonist Mae, a caracal dude that only wears pajama pants around town.

^ i only had a cruddy screenshot of this character's sprites. but here's Sofie, a blind alpaca-rabbit hybrid that does magic stuffs.

and then other dipshits that are also in the game.

(Talia, Wendell, Jyls, "Cobra Merchant", Valhallah, and Vlade.)

i also have some concept art and connected lore bits!!

...but that Image Limit there will only let me post two of 'em after all those sprites before <:)

concept related to the first one: Talia lies a lot. (she was also planned to be the third or fourth party member, but i decided "ehh nah" and just made her a quirky lil goose lady npc.)

concept related to the second one: Vlade is the first boss in the game. him and Valhallah are in a relationship, and it's shit due to him being a jackass. Mae would then get his ass kicked trying to defend Val, which leads to Sofie then wanting to defend her after a ton of Dialogue Story Nonsense that occurs after a feeble and pathetic Mae meets Sofie after his fight. after she kicks Vlade's ass alone with Val as witness, the two then go to Mae like "dude that was easy lmao" and then go to train him. (which is just the screen going black with a thingy that says everyone's stuff got boosted. i'm not forcing the player to actually grind for two hours, fuck that.)

...and that's pretty much most of the concepts for it so far.

i currently only have a phone and some notebooks, and BOY HOWDY i miss working on the Lifefeline game junk. it was fun, it gave me an excuse to fiddle with game related stuff and draw these animal people at the same time.

as soon as i'm in a better position with a computer in my personal posession, y'all can bet your asses i'm working on that stuff again.

[t4tcecilos]

send asks :D

[starlitfunkster]

Itchy just now has a rainbow tail, mostly because I thought it fit with his character. You know, like Run-bow? ...That pun was awful, but I know that its an actual game.

On a more related note...

Melody has an some twinkling lights following her about now! It’s one of the orbit accessories, and I didn’t purchase it. Most have to be found via victory in battle, sadly. But I don’t mind this one bit! (also featuring Eggs, Trace, and Crowbar)

[luxekook]

chapter five.

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 3.9k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, general chaotic energy, poly relationships, switch!reader and sub!jk, nipple piercings, taehyung being a brat, mentions of violence, light construction site smut (hehe), annoying texts from seokjin

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Five

Taehyung’s Room, BTS House - 11:57pm

“Well, shit, JK. Looks like the party started without us.”

An hour ago, I would have shoved Jimin off of me and shimmied out of Yoongi’s hold. But, now? I definitely am in too deep to back down from Taehyung.

“Hmm,” I make a show of pushing my hips slightly against Yoongi’s as I turn to face Taehyung and Jungkook more fully, “Yes, it did. And you know why? Because you weren’t invited.”

Yoongi chuckles into my neck as my words detonate and land on Taehyung, who gapes in disbelief. “Don’t piss her off, Tae," I feel Yoongi's grin against my neck before he places a quick kiss behind my ear.

“Yeah, Tae,” I taunt, “Don’t piss me off.”

“We leave for ten minutes. Ten! And she’s already got you like this?” Taehyung stomps over to his bed and sits in a huff, "Can I at least get a kiss, too?”

"Oh, I don't think so," I purr, "You see, only good boys get kisses." Turning to Jungkook, I smile wickedly when I'm met with the cutest wide-eyed stare complete with bottom lip sucked behind his two front teeth.

"Jungkookie," I shake Jimin and Yoongi off me and slowly turn to face the youngest, "Have you been a good boy?"

He nods frantically and gulps when my hand slips up his black t-shirt. "I'm so happy to hear that."

"D-do I get a kiss, noona?" He asks in the tiniest voice imaginable.

"Oh, this is ridiculous!" Kim Taehyung rages from his four-poster bed, "Jungkook was just thirsting over you in the hallway!"

"Shut the fuck up, Kim," Jungkook growls, muscles bunching under my touch. I bite back a grin over how the boy’s duality really jumps out when he’s provoked.

"Hmm, is that so, Kookie?" My hand glides into his hair at the nape of his neck to pull his gaze back to mine, "Tell me what you said, and I might still let you have a kiss."

"What?" Taehyung cries.

"At this rate, she's not going to touch Taehyungie for 84 years." I hear Hoseok say, snickering. Seokjin's squeaky laughter and Jimin's high-pitched giggles ensue. I’m also almost certain I hear Yoongi let out a low chuckle.

"Tell me," I order Jungkook, who immediately caves like a house of cards during an earthquake.

"I j-just said that you were cute-”

"Bullshit!"

Jungkook shoots a livid glare over my shoulder at the blue-haired boy, "And, I said that I wanted to p-play with your nipple piercings… That I bet they make you look even prettier, noona. I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby," I say, stroking his reddened cheeks, "You know what? I think I just might let you."

"Really?" Jungkook looks like his birthday had arrived early.

"Really!?" Taehyung sounds like his birthday had been cancelled indefinitely.

"Really," I confirm, whipping off my hoodie. The various curses and groans reach my ears as I toss the hoodie right at Taehyung's slack-jawed face.

"Fuck, baby,” Seokjin hisses a breath through his teeth, "You weren't wearing a bra this whole time?"

"Huh?" I glance down only to be greeted by my bare skin, "Oh, shit."

"You came here. To this house. Without a bra?" A commanding voice sounds from the doorway, "Oh, babygirl, that's a dangerous move."

I face Namjoon, with my hands on my hips, nipples shamelessly pointed straight at him, "Dangerous? For me or for you?"

He cracks a slow smile, "Both." God, he looks to die for tonight - black cargo-pants, tight black t-shirt, black boots. My eyes latch onto the silver chain clasped around his neck and wonder if he’d let me pull him closer with it.

An impatient hand tugs on mine. "N-noona, will you still let me touch you?" Jungkook diverts my attention from the depths of Namjoon's dark eyes.

"Of course, Kookie," I link my fingers through his and turn to address the problematic king on the bed, "Taehyung, move over."

A flicker of hope sparks in Tae’s eyes as he immediately shifts to make room. I make my way over to the bed, dragging Jungkook with me.

"Jungkook, sit with your back against the headboard," I turn to Taehyung, "You, no touching."

"But-!"

"You're lucky I'm even letting you stay," I shoot him a glance, inwardly cursing at how tempting he looks sprawled out and gazing hungrily at me. Why did he have to be so insufferable?

Shifting to look at the boy practically bouncing on the bed with anticipation, I smile, "Can I sit on your lap, Jungkook?”

"Fuck yes," he breathes out, tongue darting to wet his lower lip.

A completely diabolical and sadistic idea pops into my brain. I slowly walk to the foot of the bed. The room quiets as I lean forward and climb on the bed. On all fours, I slowly crawl towards Jungkook, holding eye-contact.

He swallows hard, eyes darting every so often to my chest. Finally, I settle onto his lap and smile victoriously at the thick bulge I feel there.

“So unfair," Jungkook sighs, tilting his head back with his eyes squeezed shut, "You make me so hard, (y/n)-noona.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” the corners of my mouth quirk into a small smile, “Now, do you want to play with me? Or should I ask someone else?"

Jungkook’s mouth latches onto my left nipple and sucks. His hand moves up my back and then eases around my body to cup my other breast in his hold. I jolt as he pinches my nipple without warning, a surge of pleasure swells from deep within me.

“Mmm, Jungkook,” I hum and grind my hips down onto his, craving more friction. His tongue swirls around my piercing, and my breath catches.

"Fuck," I hear one of the boys choke out.

My eyes shoot open in search of the source and widen once I find it. Namjoon’s head is thrown back as Jimin kisses and sucks on his neck. Namjoon’s eyes remain heatedly on me as he murmurs, “Such a good boy.” Jimin and I both shiver as Namjoon’s words drip like honey off his tongue.

“Now, Jiminie,” Namjoon latches a hand through Jimin’s pink hair and tugs him away from his neck. The younger boy pouts. Namjoon ignores him, continuing, “Why don’t we show (y/n) how Kook likes to be kissed?”

At the mention of his name, Jungkook ceases his worshipping and whines, “Hyung, that’s not fair!”

“Not fair?” Taehyung’s indignant cry is immediate, “You just had (y/n)’s nipple in your mouth,  and you think this is unfair?” I look over at the irate boy, who looks thoroughly wrecked despite not having even been touched. His light blue hair is a mess, red bandana long since removed. One ring-adorned hand is pressed solidly over the bulge in his jeans. The other is thrashing wildly in the air as he articulates his point.

“Taehyung,” Namjoon growls, “Enough.”

Taehyung wisely shuts up.

A timid knock breaks the tense silence. “Hey, Pres?” A hesitant voice calls through the solid wood, “We have a situation downstairs.”

“God-fucking-damnit,” Namjoon curses and turns to me, "(y/n), baby, I have to go deal with this."

I shrug and reach for my discarded sweatshirt next to Taehyung, "I should get going anyway. My friends are probably waiting for me."

"But Noona!" Jungkook's grip tightens on my hips as I tug on my top, "When will we get to see you again?"

"Jungkook, honey, this campus is only so big. Besides, you all have my SnapChat." I cock my head, "How did you get that by the way?"

"Well, would you look at the time!" Jin lurches to his feet, "I need to go get ready for bed."

“Kim Seokjin, I swear to god," I shimmy off of a pouting Jungkook, "If you step one toe out that door, I will burn your plushie collection."

"Yah," he exclaims, "How do you know that I even have plushies?"

I shoot him a deadpan expression and point to one of the many pictures of Seokjin on Tae's walls. This particular Polaroid displays a sleeping Jin amongst a plethora of plushies that all seem to be the same alpaca of some sort.

"Taehyungie, you little shit!” Jin sprints to the photo and tears it from the wall. Shoving the picture in the culprit's face, Jin rants, "When did you take this? Why did you take this?"

"Last week," Tae answers and shrugs, looking thoroughly unapologetic, "I thought you looked cute."

Jin huffs, "Well, that's a given.” He turns to me, “Please leave my babies out of this.”

“Don't worry, big boy," I grin up at his handsome face, "I'll just think of something else… something much, much worse."

He purses his full lips in a mock-pout. I melt. "Aw, you're so cute." I reach up and squish his cheeks together.

"Don't fall for it, (y/n)!" Hoseok yells, spurring yet another argument amongst the boys.

“Honestly,” I shake my head in bewilderment, “How do y’all even successfully date?”

“I ask myself that every damn day,” Min Yoongi smiles up at me from the floor.

Before I can respond, another knock sounds at the door. “Come on, baby,” Namjoon reaches a hand out towards me, “I’ll walk you down.”

I accept his hand and stare as it completely envelops my own. Namjoon sees my attention and gives my hand a quick squeeze.

“Alright,” I call over my shoulder to the rest of the group, “I’ll see y’all around, I guess?”

I’m faced with six grown-ass babies with varying degrees of puppy-dog eyes.

“Remember to think about what we said, noona!” Jimin begs, “Consider going out with us, okay?”

“I’m not likely going to forget that seven dudes asked me to date them,” I smile wickedly, “That only happens to me occasionally.”

With that, I walk out the door with Namjoon and revel in the chaos I left behind me.

“Occasionally?” Hoseok cries.

“I’m going to do some recon. These rivals must be eliminated.” Yoongi seethes.

“Noona wouldn’t pick another group over us, right?” Jungkook pauses, “Oh my god, she would.”

Namjoon slams the door behind us and laughs, “You’re such an instigator.”

“You right,” I nod.

Namjoon and I trail down the hallway after the jittery pledge who had interrupted us. Descending the staircase, I survey the crowd below and fail to notice anything that would qualify as a ‘situation’.

Namjoon seems to agree. “Eric, if you dragged me down here for no reason, getting an infraction will be the least of your worries…”

Eric the pledge gulps, “Pres, I swear, they’re outside.” His gaze shifts to me for a split second before returning to Namjoon, “They said they aren’t leaving until they speak to one of you. Alone.”

I huff, “I can take a hint, Eric. This is obviously ‘frat business’ or whatever.” Namjoon hides a smile behind his hand at my use of air quotes, and I do not appreciate him finding my annoyance humorous. I shoot him a murderous stare before locating Luna and Jenni from across the room.

“Bye, Joon,” I salute him and turn to head towards my friends. I barely make it one step before his hand catches my wrist.

His mouth brushes my ear as he says softly, “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.” He gives my hand a squeeze and then disappears into the crowd with Eric.

Goddamnit. I had forgotten about volunteering. These boys are slowly but surely infiltrating my life, and I’m not at all sure on how I feel about it. My feet drag across the room until I reach my friends.

“Ready to go?” Luna questions, linking her arm through mine.

“Ready to be interrogated?” Jenni smiles evilly, assessing the mess that I am.

“Yes and no,” I groan, pulling them both outside. Starting our trek home, I field questions from both my friends. Somewhere far behind us, a girl shrieks something about being lettered, and I thank the stars that someone else has drama besides me…

(Y/n) & Luna’s Apartment – 8:45am

The infuriating sound of my phone vibrating with a number of incoming texts jolts me awake. Who the fuck dares to wake me up before my alarm? I grab my phone from its resting position on my nearby nightstand and almost fall out of my bed in the process.

“I’ll kill him,” I mutter darkly as I read the name displayed across my screen. It radiates an offensive mix of terrible grammar and narcissism.  

Worldwide Handsome 3 New Messages

“This better be fucking good.” My fingers angrily swipe at the notification, opening the messages. I knew exactly who these messages were from. When did that bastard even get to my phone and add his contact information? How did he bypass my password? What kind of sorcery?

Worldwide Handsome 8:45am: “You up, beautiful?” 8:45am: “We’re picking you up in 20!!” 8:46am: “Wear something cute!!!! ;)”

(Y/N) 8:46am: “…Did you say WE???” 8:46am: Also, when and how the fuckity fuck did you get into my phone?” 8:47am: “ACTUALLY, NO – HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY ADDRESS?”

Worldwide Handsome 8:47am: “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

(Y/N) 8:48am: “You are NOT a magician, you dweeb.”

Worldwide Handsome 8:48am: “Abracadabra, bish.”

(Y/N) 8:49am: “I can’t stand you.”

Worldwide Handsome 8:50am: “15 minutes!!!”

(Y/N) 8:50am: “15 minutes until I strangle you with my bare hands!!!”

Worldwide Handsome 8:53am: “Strangle? Sounds kinky… I’m into it.” 8:55am: “I’m bringing you coffee. What kind do you want?”

(Y/N) 8:55am: “Did I say strangle? I meant *hug you tightly and shower you with praise*!!!” 8:56am: “The largest size possible, please! Black.” 8:56am: “I’ll pay you back.”

Worldwide Handsome 8:56am: “That’s more like it!!” 8:56am: “And don’t even think about it… Papa Seokjin provides all.” 8:57am: “See you in 10.”

Egad! I spring out of bed and get dressed at the speed of light, grabbing the nearest t-shirt and pair of jeans. Shoving my feet into my trusty work-boots, I stumble into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

‘Man, I look rough today’ is the first thought that pops into my brain as I look in the mirror; but I quickly correct that bad thought with: ‘Bitch, you look fine. Stop hating.’

Ever since I learned about cognitive restructuring in my Behavioral Psychology class, I have been attempting to practice it in my own life. The process of challenging my negative thoughts has been so fucking hard, but it’s definitely helped my self-esteem and stress.

Throwing my hair into a messy bun, I hear my phone buzz. Shit, that must be Seokjin. Who even knew why that fucker had decided to come along to volunteering with Namjoon and me. I wasn’t going to turn down an extra set of hands though… For volunteering purposes, of course.

Six subsequent buzzes demand my attention.

Worldwide Handsome 9:08am: “We’re here.” 9:09am: “Get your sweet ass out here.” 9:09am: “You better not have fallen back asleep…” 9:09am: “Don’t make me come in there!” 9:10am: “If you aren’t down here in 30 seconds, I’m drinking your coffee.” 9:10am: “(Y/N).” 9:10am: “THAT’S IT. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR COFFEE.”

That last text has my ass in high gear as I book it down the steps and out the front door. Barely remembering to lock it behind me, I come to an abrupt halt as I come face to face with an all-too-put-together-for-9am Seokjin.

He leans against Namjoon’s infuriatingly gorgeous black Tesla looking like he’s about to shoot a cover for Men’s Health – Construction Edition. My eyes narrow in on the large coffee cup in his hand and narrow further when he slowly brings it up to his full lips.

“I wouldn’t do that,” I warn.

He sips it.

“You’ve just declared war,” I announce and stride over to him. Attempting to pull the coffee out of his palm and failing, I decide to take drastic measures.

Slowly rising to my toes, I act as if I’m going to kiss his cheek; but at the last second, I turn and bite his earlobe.

“What the fuck!” Seokjin yells way too loudly for the peaceful early morning. Victoriously, I grab my coffee, back away from him, and take a giant sip. 

Yes, that sweet, sweet caffeine…

Seokjin rubs his ear and laughs slightly, “Babe, you’re really fucking scary before coffee.”

I nod in affirmation.

“Come on,” he gestures to his car and opens the passenger door for me, “Namjoon will have my ass on a platter if I take too much of your attention, and I know you’ll be heartbroken by the loss of such perfection.”

“You’re insufferable,” I reply, fighting a smile and losing.

“I know,” he grins and leans over the open car-door between us to kiss me. “Morning,” he murmurs in greeting against my lips.

I smile and kiss him again in reply. And then I remember my coffee.

Seokjin pouts at the loss of my lips as I take a cherished sip of the best part of my morning.

As I slide into the front seat, I hear him muttering about how he never should have bought that coffee. Grinning to myself, I buckle my seatbelt and look around the Tesla. Namjoon smiles at me from the driver’s seat, and I automatically swoon under the power of his dimples.

“Buckled?” he asks, as he adjusts the mirrors and flicks on the Bluetooth radio. The distinct sound of Kendrick Lamar fills the air. I nod and watch as he puts the car in drive, his muscles flexing.

His right hand extends across the console to rest on my left thigh and gives it a quick squeeze. I’m thoroughly distracted as I fixate on the hand that has now taken up residence on my leg.

“Hi, noona!” A chorus of two cries from the backseat. My body jolts.

“Ah! Stop, I could’ve dropped my coffee!” I steady my drink before turning to investigate the backseat that I had mistakenly (READ: tragically) thought would be empty. Taehyung and Jimin grin back at me from the seats beside Jin.

“Well, why didn’t you just bring everyone,” I drawl, raising an eyebrow at Namjoon, who just sighs in defeat.

“I mean… I kind of did,” he aims a glare through the rearview mirror, “I’m taking these losers, and Jungkook, Hobi and Yoongi are meeting us there. They refused to miss spending ‘quality time’ with you.”

“I’m going to kill someone,” I mutter under my breath, “Probably Taehyung.”

“At least wait until we exit the vehicle, please,” Namjoon chuckles, “I just got new seats.”

Habitat Worksite – 9:25am

When we finally arrive at the worksite, we step out of the car and head over to where Eddie is currently handing out tasks to different volunteers. I smile at a few familiar faces I see as we draw closer.

“(Y/n)-doll!” Eddie booms and walks over to greet us, “Came here with this one, did ya? And who are these boys?” He gestures towards my harem.

“Yes, sir,” Namjoon grins, quite unbothered by Eddie’s papa bear act, “A couple that carpools together stays together. Go green!”

I shake my head at his idiocy as Eddie splutters to come up with a response. “Don’t listen to him, Eddie. He’s full of shit. We are all just friends. Now, what can we help with today?”

“Yes,” Eddie clears his throat, shooting Namjoon dark look, “(y/n), I need you out front to help me orient a group of volunteers scheduled for one of those work retreat days…”

Fuck. The last group that I helped orient was a nightmare. They were supposedly here for a day of service and team-building, but all they did was fuck around and fuck up the siding. The men in the group refused to listen to my instructions on how to properly do things.

According to their mouthy ringleader, the fact that I had a pair of tits and a vagina made me incapable of knowing the tiniest bit of information about construction, whereas their dicks apparently came with an encyclopedia of knowledge on the subject.

I had almost decked him in the face, but I settled for placing a nice call to his place of employment later that day with an unsavory report on his behavior.

Eddie notices my glowering face and quickly looks away, “Namjoon, I need you to help out Matt and Paul inside to mix and pour some cement. The rest of you can follow me.”

The boys all give varying answers of agreement.

“Grab some gloves and glasses, you two. (Y/n), meet me back out front. Namjoon, Matt and Paul are already inside. They’ll show you the ropes.”

With that, Eddie beelines away from us before I can protest my assigned role. Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung trail sadly behind him, shooting jealous glances over their shoulders at Namjoon.

Namjoon ignores them and eyes my homicidal expression. He cautiously asks, “What’s wrong?”

“The goddamn patriarchy is what’s wrong, Kim,” I grit out through my clenched teeth and stalk towards the supply trailer.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” he trails after me, “My mom says that toxic masculinity always ruins the party.”

“God, I love her,” My mood elevates instantly, “Please marry me so I can be her daughter-in-law.”

He laughs, looking through the bin of gloves for a pair large enough for him while handing me a smaller pair. “Where’s my ring?”

“You already have like seven rings. Pull an Ariana and give some away,” I hand him a pair of protective glasses, keeping one for myself. “Anyway, please don’t forget that you’re my ride and leave without me.”

“Forget? Babe, you’ve taken up permanent residence in my mind since Tae pointed you out last semester.”

“Oh, stop,” I dismiss him, waving the pair of gloves in his direction.

He suddenly steps into me. The my small of my back hits the edge of the makeshift work desk latched to the trailer wall. “You know, I’ve noticed you really don’t take some of our compliments seriously...” He looms over me, lips pressed to my throat, “I guess I'm gonna have to change that.”

Namjoon scoops me off the floor by my waist and balances my ass on the edge of the desk. My arms circle his shoulders on instinct and his grip tightens on my hips. When he glances down at me, he lets out a rough breath which sounds like I’m torturing him.

He kisses me, his tongue playing with mine, twining around it, enticing mine to follow. Gravity tries to drag me down off the desk and our mouths separate. Namjoon hoists me up higher with a firm hand on the back of my thigh.

His mouth slams back over mine, and I swear the way he kisses can be felt all the way down to my bones. His wide palm curves around my waist, pulling me further into him. “Damn," he pants, resting his forehead on mine.

BANG. A knock sounds from outside the trailer, “You better not be up to no good in there, you two!” Eddie’s rumbling voice jolts us apart and my head snaps against the wall of the trailer.

A series of obscenities pours from my mouth as I grasp the back of my head. “You good?” Namjoon asks as he lifts me off the desk and back onto the floor.

“I’ll live… barely,” I lament.

He just shakes his head in amusement, “So dramatic, babe. Come on, let’s go do some service.”

a/n: a slight cliffhanger (but not really, hehe); also i didn’t have a beta read over this chapter bc i wanted to post ASAP so plz be kind if there are mistakes UWU

taglist: @catsandstrawberries @h5naaa @meowmeowyoongles @leftflowerprunedonut @rjsmochii @athletes-of-god @karissassirak @cage7241 @weallhavesecretsinthebestway @cvbachacbitch @honeyspillings @valiantcollectorofsandwiches @fivesecondsofsarang @oii-f-eli-x2​ @joonsroses​ @theevilyouknow @jooniescupcakes @expensive-grl @i-dont-even-know-fck @doingmybestalltheftime @elraeee @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh @laced-brds @aokay1010 @breeeeh17 @lpayne612 @peachyharmoney @rilakoya @chulchuchi @tabula-rasa0 @guccishookv @nomimits7 @i-like-puppy-mg @s-noir @anna-sorel @im-a-space-child @yeontanismypresident @drowning-in-oxygen @team-wang-puppy @lvvegood @anongirl007 @may114 @r-e-d-i-s-h @unatempesta-dipensieri @dragon-rider-with-a-book @blueberrygeniejam @wondrsblog @heterophobez @vi-hoshi @kirbykook @queen-of-astrology–roses @blu-butterfly69 @katemwatson @kawaiikpoplover268 @amsteramyy @sami4life @a-feeling-of-euphoria @the-jackals @bubbletae7 @platinum-grenade @bunnyboyenthusiast @brightly-byun @oofmeintheheadpls @sadboibts @lidda @goldenwidow3 @t-mel19 @lmkjimin @psiphidragon @jeon-joker @sathom013 @lustremyg @ggsmashgg @justyouraveragerandomblog @shadowstark @our-little-meow-meow @baby-hobii @toddsgirl27 @mythicalmeep @asifetch7 @kassandravictoria @eltrain80 @briannasthings @briannasthings @quotedcryptid @bumblekey93 @ohmwreckr @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @softchimmee @noonaduck @kookoo-kachoo

[no6secretsanta]

2020 fic guide

Disclaimer: This list was compiled by the mod, who skimmed all the fics in order to add them in a timely fashion. If you notice anything majorly wrong with it, please comment. Hopefully everything is accurate, though.

MASTER LIST

Pre & post canon: Cherry Cakes by lookslikerainydays for ApricotMori_

West Block: Warm Bodied by Akuthecactus for signpainter1

West Block: Erlkönig by hi-im-secretly-satan for happykawaiicinnamonroll

Reunion: I Can’t Erase You by whims-of-insane-fandoms for akuthecactus

Reunion: fic by watershipdownxx for prometheanastronaut

Reunion: fic by twitchystitchwitch for sushihukka

Reunion: Write Happy Endings, Not Tragedies by whims-of-insane-fandoms for halcyon-conservatory

Post-canon, developing relationship: The Sound We Heard That Day by Signpainter1 for hi-im-secretly-satan

Post-canon, developing relationship: Stay by Pigeonsimba for Crowmunculus

Post-canon, established relationship: Day Off by ApricotMori_ for Marykedoesart

Post-canon, established relationship: Impermanence by Crowmunculus for Aowyn

Inukashi POV, non/post-canon setting, established relationship: Under The Mistletoe by Amystis_ for carl-wheezer-official

AU, post-canon, established relationship: The Fluffiest Gift by origami10 for hachiko-101

AU, first meeting: The Boy And The Mermaid ✩ podfic ✩ by Aowyn for Weiselzelle (original by Weiselzelle)

AU, first meeting: fic by fairysdarkestnight for liebe-dear

AU, first meeting: The Boy The Trees Claimed by glorifiedscapegoat for shutup_1010

AU, developing relationship: Don’t Say It by Weiselzelle for glorifiedscapegoat

AU, developing relationship: Children Of The Sea by glorifiedscapegoat for aoicanvas

AU, developing relationship: Our Voyage by aoicanvas for secretagentfan

AU, established relationship: Gala Grind by Secretagentfan for Allxkka

AU, established relationship: Papercuts by Allxkka for whims-of-insane-fandoms

BY TOPIC

Additional characters

Ensemble cast: Children Of The Sea by glorifiedscapegoat for aoicanvas

Ensemble cast: Our Voyage by aoicanvas for secretagentfan

Inukashi (they/them): Under The Mistletoe by Amystis_ for carl-wheezer-official

Inukashi (they/them): fic by twitchystitchwitch for sushihukka

Inukashi (they/them) & Karan: I Can’t Erase You by whims-of-insane-fandoms for akuthecactus

Karan: Day Off by ApricotMori_ for Marykedoesart

Karan: Cherry Cakes by lookslikerainydays for ApricotMori_

Safu & Karan: The Boy The Trees Claimed by glorifiedscapegoat for shutup_1010

Rikiga: Erlkönig by hi-im-secretly-satan for happykawaiicinnamonroll

Yoming: Gala Grind by Secretagentfan for Allxkka

OC friend of Shion: The Sound We Heard That Day by Signpainter1 for hi-im-secretly-satan

Fluff

Under The Mistletoe by Amystis_ for carl-wheezer-official

Day Off by ApricotMori_ for Marykedoesart

Stay by Pigeonsimba for Crowmunculus

Fic by twitchystitchwitch for sushihukka

The Fluffiest Gift by origami10 for hachiko-101

Papercuts by Allxkka for whims-of-insane-fandoms

Fic by fairysdarkestnight for liebe-dear

Don’t Say It by Weiselzelle for glorifiedscapegoat

Write Happy Endings, Not Tragedies by whims-of-insane-fandoms for halcyon-conservatory

Cherry Cakes by lookslikerainydays for ApricotMori_

Angst

Gala Grind by Secretagentfan for Allxkka (hurt/comfort)

Warm Bodied by Akuthecactus for signpainter1 (hurt/comfort)

The Boy And The Mermaid ✩ podfic ✩ by Aowyn for Weiselzelle (original by Weiselzelle) (light angst with a happy ending)

The Sound We Heard That Day by Signpainter1 for hi-im-secretly-satan (angst with a happy ending)

I Can’t Erase You by whims-of-insane-fandoms for akuthecactus (angst with a happy ending)

Impermanence by Crowmunculus for Aowyn (angst with a happy ending)

Erlkönig by hi-im-secretly-satan for happykawaiicinnamonroll (angst with major character death)

Winter/Xmas

Under The Mistletoe by Amystis_ for carl-wheezer-official (Christmas)

Papercuts by Allxkka for whims-of-insane-fandoms (Christmas)

Don’t Say It by Weiselzelle for glorifiedscapegoat (Christmas)

The Sound We Heard That Day by Signpainter1 for hi-im-secretly-satan (background Xmas)

Fic by fairysdarkestnight for liebe-dear (Christmastime setting)

Warm Bodied by Akuthecactus for signpainter1 (winter)

Stay by Pigeonsimba for Crowmunculus (wintertime setting)

The Boy The Trees Claimed by glorifiedscapegoat for shutup_1010 (wintertime setting)

Family/Friendship

Under The Mistletoe by Amystis_ for carl-wheezer-official (Inukashi & Nezushi friendship)

Day Off by ApricotMori_ for Marykedoesart (Karan + Nezumi moment)

Cherry Cakes by lookslikerainydays for ApricotMori_ (Karan + Shion)

Alternate Universe

Gala Grind by Secretagentfan for Allxkka (college drop-out AU w/ caterer Shion)

The Fluffiest Gift by origami10 for hachiko-101 (alpaca farmer AU)

Papercuts by Allxkka for whims-of-insane-fandoms (high school AU)

Fic by fairysdarkestnight for liebe-dear (tinder AU)

Don’t Say It by Weiselzelle for glorifiedscapegoat (childhood friends modern AU)

The Boy The Trees Claimed by glorifiedscapegoat for shutup_1010 (witch and familiar AU)

Our Voyage by aoicanvas for secretagentfan (pirate & magic AU)

Children Of The Sea by glorifiedscapegoat for aoicanvas (modern mermaid AU)

The Boy And The Mermaid ✩ podfic ✩ by Aowyn for Weiselzelle (original by Weiselzelle) (mermaid!Nezumi AU)

[patakoo]

It’s been mentioned that there’ll be around 200 events in the game that you can unlock but I hope it’ll be enjoyable as the ones in Trio. Did the writers especially the ones who write the heart events got replaced too when Hashimoto moved? I’m worried that they won’t be as good.

And I’m wondering what the bullshit artificial time gating here this time is (like the yams and the brown alpaca fur in AnB to get the speedy brush or the fact you have to play up to year *16 to get all the clothing in Trio). Don’t get me wrong, I get why they do this and do enjoy grinding for it.

Also I want to see the special candidates so bad!! Mermaid or kemonomimi LI pls 🙏

[avengerscompound]

The  Mechanic

The Mechanic: An Iron Man Fanfic

Buy me a ☕ Square:  @iron-man-bingo - Role Play

Rating:  E  

Warning:  Smut (M|F, oral sex, vaginal sex, outdoor sex)

Word Count:  1365

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader

Summary:  When your car won’t start you ask Tony to fix it.  When he’s done you find out that he doesn’t take credit.

The Mechanic

You turned your key over in the car for the third time and it made that choked whine noise before cutting out completely.  You swore and punched the steering wheel.

Tony had been telling you to get a new car for months now or at least replace the engine of the old one.  You just really loved you vintage piece-of-shit as you fondly called it.  You’d saved for a long time to buy it with your own money and you didn’t see the point of having a vintage car if it didn’t have the correct engine.

You got out and slumped around the back of the house.  Tony was in the process of feeding the alpaca.  He wrestled with the bag of feed and Gerald grabbed hold of the end and pulled on it.  It split and spilled grain all over the ground.  “Gerald!  That’s supposed to be a supplement!”  Tony yelped as the alpaca honked and started eating the grain off the ground.

Tony crouched down and started frantically trying to scoop the grain back into the bag.  You jogged over and started helping him.  Rushing to get it put away before Gerald completely gorged himself.

“Thought you were going out,”  Tony said.

“I was.”

“Car wouldn’t start?”  He asked.

“No,”  You whined.  “Tony… fix it.”

Tony laughed.  “Take the Tesla.”

“I don’t wanna take the Tesla.”

“It’s better for the environment.  Do you want this place all choked up with fumes from your old piece-of-shit?”  Tony teased.

“Tony…”  You whined.  “Please.”

He rolled his eyes.  “Stop the alpaca from exploding then get your piece-of-shit of car going.”

The two of you managed to collect up a fair amount of the feed before giving up and taking the broken bag back into the barn.  He grabbed his toolbox and you followed him out to your car.

“Alright, talk to me, darling.”  He said approaching your car.  “Was she being mean to you again?”

He went to work on the engine occasionally sending you back to the shed to bring him things.  All up he was working for about an hour.  Sometimes he was so deep into the work he wouldn’t even answer you when you asked him something.

“Alright.”  He said.  “Go try and start her up.”

You squealed and went and jumped in the driver’s seat turning the key and pumping the gas.  The car made it’s sad whiney sound and for a moment you were sure it wasn’t going to turn over, but just before you gave up it roared to life.

“Yes!”  You cheered, bouncing in your seat.

Tony slammed the hood shut and sauntered around to the side of the car.  “There you go, little lady.”  He said.  “So how are you paying?  Will that be cash or check?”

You bit your bottom lip and looked up at him.  “I only have credit cards.  You don’t take credit?”

Tony leaned on the window and pretended to polish his nails on his shirt.  “We don’t have any credit card facilities here, ma’am.”

“What kind of mechanic doesn’t take credit card?”  You teased.

“Well, I could, of course, undo what I just did.”

“No, please don’t.”  You said and spread your legs.  “There must be some sort of arrangement we could work out.”  You ran your hand up and down the inside of your thigh, bunching the fabric up a little.

Tony took off his sunglasses and raised his eyebrow at you.  “Well, when you put it like that, I think we could work something out.”

You shut off the engine and climbed out.  He leaned in over you, running his finger down your stomach.  “You know, that took me a lot of work?  Not just anyone could make that hunk of junk run again.”

You hooked your fingers into his belt and tugged on it.  “I’ll do anything…”  You purred.

He chuckled and slowly leaned into you.  He teased his lips over yours and foxed back before kissing you hungrily.  You wrapped your arms around him and pulled yourself tight, humming into his lips as your hooked your leg around his waist.  You rolled your hips against his thigh, grinding your pussy on the muscle.

He pulled back, running his hands up under your skirt and massaged your ass.  “Grinding one out on my thigh might work for you, but what’s it doing for me?”  He teased.

You bit back a laugh and shook your head.  “I’m so sorry.  Let me do something about that.”

You sunk down, crouching in front of him and unfastened his pants.  As you worked them down, his cock sprung up in front of you.  You looked up at him and swirled the point of your tongue up his shaft.

“Well, that might cover the cost of me popping the hood.”  He teased.

You pinched his thigh as you dropped your head down on his cock.  He groaned and let his head fall back.  “That's it.  There you go.”

You slowly bobbed your head up and down, sucking and curling your tongue around his shaft.  As you sucked you massaged his balls, and tugged on them.  Tony moaned louder and louder.  You gave his balls a gentle slap and pulled off his cock to suck on them.

“Jesus…”  He hissed. His cock jumped and leaked pre-come down the shaft.  You ran your tongue up the sticky trail it left and hummed as you looked up at him.

“There you go.  Now you're working off your debt.”  He teased and guided you back up to your feet.

He pulled you into a hard kiss and lifted you carrying you to the front of the car.  He dropped you to your feet when you were by the hood and spun you pushing you forward.  You kneeled on the hood, resting your feet on the bumper.  Tony pulled your panties down and he immediately buried his face in your pussy, sucking and licking at your folds.  You groaned and let your head fall forward, pressing into the metal.

His tongue explored your cunt, pushing inside you and swirling around, flicking over your clit.  You legs trembled and your cunt flooded, dripping into his mouth and running down your leg.

“Fuck, Tony.  Please.”  You begged.

Tony stood back up and pulled you up against him, massaging your tits as he lined himself up.  “Who’s this Tony you’re talking about?”  He teased.  “Is that your boyfriend.”

“No, he’s just this asshole I know.”  You shot back.

He laughed and thrust hard into you, holding you in place.  You cried out and clenched around him.  He didn’t give you a moment to adjust before he started to pound into you.  He fucked you hard and deep, each thrust shoving you forward while he also held you in place.  He massaged your breasts and sucked your throat hard enough to mark.  You started to lose control.  You wanted to collapse where you were, trembling as he just had his way with you, but he held you up, thrusting again and again.  “Fuck.  Me.  Just.  Like.  That.”  You cried out.

Tony wrapped his arm around you and began to rub your clit.  “You gonna come for me?”  He growled against your ear.

You arched back against him and your body seized up as you came.  “Fuck yes!”  You cried as you cunt squeezed around his cock.

He grunted and thrust up into you as he released, his cock pulsing inside you.

He slipped out of you while you both still panted and your legs trembled slightly.  “Yeah, that should cover it.”  He teased and spanked your ass.

You slipped off the hood and pulled your panties back up.  “That’s good, ‘cause you ruined me.”

“Nice,”  he chuckled as he redressed.  “I always wanted to do that to someone.”

He pulled you into his arms and kissed you.  “We going for a drive?”  You asked.

“Oh, I’m invited?”

“Mm-hmm…”  You hummed and nuzzled at his neck.

“Alright.”  He said.  “But I’m driving.”

“What are you?  My uber driver?”  You said getting into the passenger seat.

“Sure am,”  Tony said starting the car.  It turned over much more easily this time as it rumbled to life.  “You better have some way to pay, ma’am.”

[breadoffoxy]

Jin - Joke’s on You

Pairing: Jin x f. Reader

Words: 2,905

Summary: You blame everything on Jungkook. Sure, the prank war started because Jin and you wanted to put the brat in his place, but it takes an unexpected turn neither of you expected.

You laugh as you mix the red icing in the bowl. Your best friend leans against the counter with a satisfied smile on his face. You just received one of Jin’s famous puns. No matter what, they always make you laugh.

“How do you even come up with this stuff?”

“What can I say I’m just a genius.”

“Oho genius sure.”

“Speaking of genius.” Jin pics up a salt shaker next to him on the counter and gently shakes it as he smirks.

“And how does that make you a genius?”

Jin makes a show of pulling out a small bowl and spoon. You let him take a small scoop of icing that he dumps into the bowl along with a pile of salt. You grin at him and give him a thumbs up. He looks proud of himself too as he mixes the two ingredients together.

This all started because of Jeon Fucking Jungkook. The three of you are in the middle of a prank war because that man brat has the nerve to keep calling you the O word. The unspeakable word. The two of you took action by hiding some of Jungkook’s things around the house, like just one shoe and one glove. It drove him mad looking for it. Your’s and Jin’s snickering kinda gave it away so young man planned his revenge. He planted fake spiders around the men’s shared apartment, which led to lots of screaming and jumping on furniture. The screaming turned worse when Jungkook flung the spider at Jin.

After giving Taehyung some pocket money, he distracted Jungkook with enough time for the two of you to sneak into his room. There you changed the hot keys on his computer hoping it would frustrate him as Jin held Jungkook’s cell phone and filled his storage with many attractive photos. These actions resulted in you coming home to your apartment filled with pictures of Nicholas Cage. You still find some to this day. Jin came home to a strategically placed cut out of Nicholas Cage. It surprised him so bad everyone ran to his at his scream to check up on him. Yoongi even brought a knife.

Things like this have been going on for the last week. And frankly all your other friends who share a living space with Jin and Jungkook are getting tired of it. But no one is going to stop until the other party forfeits. Which doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen anytime soon. Especially since he keeps calling you both-

“Hey Old Couple, when are the cookies ready?”

Your hand tightens on the spatula as you grind your teeth. For starters, the two of you weren’t that old. The both of you are just a few years older than the brat. If he considers you both so much older, he should show some respect. Secondly, you weren’t a couple despite how nice that sounded to your ears. You’ve known the man for what seems like forever and– oh no he doesn’t!

A resounding slap echoes slightly in the kitchen followed by a yell. You’re glad Jungkook’s hand tried to steal some of your precious icing. It broke your train of thought and gave you a reason to hit him. The young man examines his hand and licks the small amount of icing the spatula left on him before winking at you. Another slap rings out. Jungkook grimaces as he rubs the back of his head.

“Yah! Don’t come in here making demands and stealing things. Out, out!” Jin waves his own spatula around and periodically pokes Jungkook with it until he makes his way out of the kitchen. You examine Jin as he continues to wave his spatula, all the while complaining about the nerve the youngest has to call the two of you old and to boss you around. He mentions nothing about being labeled a couple. Does it even matter to him?

Jin and you grew up together and are practically glued to the hip since diapers. You survived the awkward teenage years, late study nights, and the shitshow that is adulting together, well that last one is still in question. Your moms always tease the two of you about being in a relationship, and your pretty sure they already have a wedding planned out. However, all of that made you uncomfortable growing up. The both of you were upset that boys and girls couldn’t be just friends. Now though you wished the opposite.

“You OK, or are you just dazzled by my face that much?”

You jump slightly, almost spilling the bowl of icing. You fumble with it a second before you start mixing again. “Yep, sorry just lost in thought.”

His gaze is questioning as it lingers on you. You nervously look away. Jin can read you like a book and you hope he doesn’t know about your feelings. You’ve been awkward lately by avoiding his touch, not giving as nearly as much eye contact, and always nervously biting your lip because the butterflies are too much. You were hoping it would just be a simple phase that would quickly pass but you feel yourself falling deeper at the compassion he has always shows you and even when he tells you an awful pun.

The oven dings signaling the cookies being done and his gaze finally leaves you. Jin pulls the cookies out of the oven. For a minute you are both silent as you wait for the cookies to cool.

“Have I ever told you the one about the alpaca?”

You smile at his efforts of trying to make you more comfortable again. “Hit me with your best shot.”

The two of you fall into comfortable conversation as the cookies cool. Once they do so you start icing them while making sure to keep one separate for a special someone. The two of you make a plate for each of your friends and take them to the living room. There most of your friends are sprawled out watching a movie. Oos and Aaahs fill the room as they scramble for their plates. You and Jin give a high five as Jungkook sputters on his cookie that he inhales.

“What the hell guys!”

Everyone stops and stares at the body standing in the hallway. The voice that yelled was not Jungkook but an angry Yoongi. A very pink haired Yoongi.

“We match!” Jimin points and yells. His eyes turn into crescents as he giggles. He collapses into himself and falls out of the chair. Taehyung barely catches his friend’s cookies as the young pink haired man is a giggling mess on the floor.

Your eyes are as wide as saucers as you stare at the pink hair on the glowering man. It would be unbelievably cute if Yoongi wasn’t glaring daggers at you, Jin, and Jungkook.

“It looks very nice- “Hoseok gets cut off as Yoongi holds up a finger.

“Not. Another. Word. Except that is for someone to tell me who fucking did this.”

Ok this was not how this was supposed to go. You were not supposed to meet your untimely end because of these pranks. Yes, it was you who waited for everyone to leave the apartment and sneak in with the extra key Jin gave you. It was you who took some of Jimin’s pink dye and funneled it into Jungkook’s shampoo. You were sure you put it in the right bathroom. Then why the hell is Yoongi’s hair pink!?

You pale as Jungkook smirks at you. “I saw Y/N going to your bathroom earlier Hyung, it must have been her.” Oh if this is how he wants to play then you’ll play.

“You couldn’t have seen me since I did it earlier today while no one was here, and I put it in your shampoo Jungkook.”

Jin nods and adds, “Yeah Jungkook. Then explain then how it got into Yoongi’s shampoo if she put it in yours.”

“So, let me get this straight.” Yoongi intervenes. “It’s all three of your faults then.”

“They pranked me first!”

“You switched the dye!”

“Yah how could you think that!”

Yoongi ignores all of your outbursts as he stares coldly at the three of you.

“Ok this has been all well and lovely but I think it’s time to go now!” Jin grabs your hand and darts for the door before you know what’s happening. You stumble behind him as you make your escape. You barely hear Jungkook’s startled pleas, sounds of a scuffle, and the mixture of laughter and giggling as the two of you run down the hall.

The two of you continue running to your nearby apartment. By the time you get there you’re both panting.

“Is it…do you think it’s safe?”

“Yeah…for now. He’s probably too busy murdering Jungkook.” Jin throws a cautionary look over his shoulder anyways just in case.

“And too lazy to follow us.”

“Yes, that too. Unfortunately, he’s more the type to plan his revenge and drag it out.” He brings a hand up to his head as he sighs. “Ah, I’m too handsome to die.”

You go to pat his arm and that is when you realize his hand is still holding yours. You quickly pull your hand away and angle yourself so he doesn’t see your burning face as you pull out your keys. “Um…do you want to come in? You can stay if you want till it’s safe…um safer?”

He laughs lightly, “Thanks. We’re in this together right. I can stay here forever?”

Opening the door, you shake your head. “At least until Yoongi doesn’t completely murder us.”

“Yep because slightly murdered is a lot better.” He steps in behind you and the two of you slip off your shoes. “Hey since I’m here let’s finish our tournament. You game?” He can’t help but laugh. You snicker slightly and give him an eye roll.

“Set up the game loser and I’ll make some popcorn. I’m hungry and we didn’t even get to eat any of the cookies.”

You walk into the kitchen, pull out the popcorn, and start heating it in the microwave. The ding of the game system starting up fills the small apartment. When the popcorn starts doing its thing you feel your phone vibrate. Pulling it out you instantly freeze when seeing the sender. Yoongi’s name displays threateningly across your screen. Ever so slowly you open the message.

‘The pranking stops now. If you do one thing for me, I’ll maybe spare you.’

Hesitantly you type back, ‘and what would that be oh great genius who I love more than anything.’

Your phone dings back quickly. ‘Flattery won’t buy you anything. And we know that’s not true. We all know you love Seokjin so tell him your feelings. Or else.’

Ok so its certain death vs tell your best friend that you have strong secret feelings for him. You think you may be leaning towards death.

“Uggh! What is that smell!?” Jin rushes into the kitchen and rips open the microwave door. Smoke blows out and you spot a rather black bag of popcorn that smells pretty disgusting now that you notice.

Hurriedly you turn on a fan and try to wave some of the smoke away. “I am so sorry! I got distracted.”

Jin reaches into the microwave and carefully pulls out the bag. There is no salvaging it. “Must have been some distraction.” The popcorn goes into the trashcan with a thunk, and he gives you a pointed look. He knows how much you detest burnt popcorn. You’ll complain about the smell for the rest of the day.

Ok. This is it do or die.

“Um…its nothing really.”

Dying it is then.

“Bullshit. You’ve been acting weird lately, and don’t deny it.” He adds on as your about to open your mouth. His gaze then moves to your phone you left on the counter in your haste to turn on the fan. Crap.

The both of you dive for the phone at the same time. With his longer limbs he makes it there just before you do. You scramble with him to try to reach it but he holds it barely outside your reach.

“Give it back!”

“Not a chance!”

His fingers rapidly start typing in your passcode. Your breathing increases as you panic.

“I got a text from Yoongi!”

He stops right before hitting the last digit. “Oh?”

You’re silent and his finger starts slowly moving closer to screen.

“He said the pranks have to stop!”

“And?”

You bite your lip as you look down at the ground. Nails bite into your palm as you make tight fists with your hands. Why does this have to be so difficult.

“Hey, its ok!” Jin puts the phone down and grabs your shoulders with both hands. His thumbs start rubbing small distracting circles. Surprised at the action you glance up at him and you let out your breath. Quickly you find that you can’t hold his gaze, something about it too tender and soft, so you turn your head quickly away again. Almost immediately a large hand leaves your shoulder and is placed on your cheek. It guides you to look back into Jin’s eyes. “I’m just worried about you.”

You lean into his hand slightly, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. You decide you can’t keep worrying him like this. It wasn’t fair to him and it definitely wasn’t fair to yourself. You felt like you couldn’t completely be yourself and you decided you no longer wanted to feel like a lie. Plus, you didn’t survive so much together for your friendship to end here or so you hoped. You open your eyes and do your best to look Jin in the eye.

“Errr so OK he gave me an ultimatum you could say. Either you know the certain death or um I tell you something.”

“You know you can tell me anything right?”

You nod. “Yes. Its just…hard. Sorry I’m trying.” Again, you can’t look him in the eye anymore. “You see the thing is…I um…for awhile now…” In the smallest voice you can muster, you manage to say,” …I like you…a lot.”

You feel Jin’s hold stiffen for a moment before the hand on your cheek moves to your chin and your eyes meets his once again. He’s looking at you in a way you’ve never seen before. His eyes are shining and he’s wearing a grin as he chuckles. Honestly, he has never looked as handsome as he does now. His breath hits your face as he chuckles.

“I got a text from Yoongi too.”

“…You did?”

His thumb traces over your lips as his eyes drift down. A small gasp leaves your lips and his eyes meet yours again.

“I like you too Y/N, a lot.”

The next thing you know there is a pair of soft lips touching your own. When you press back you can feel the smile on his lips. The hand on your shoulder slides down your arm until it reaches your hip and drags you closer. Your hands come up and grip Jin’s shirt as you fall into the kiss.

You only pull away to take a breath of air. Jin’s forehead comes to rest again your own. “Thank you for telling me.”

You huff, “You could have easily told me first.”

He kisses your forehead. “I know. Sorry for taking so long, but I’ll make it up to you.” His lips lightly graze yours again. “I promise.”

“I look forward to it. Right now though I hate to ruin the moment, but I really can’t stand the smell in here.”

“What this isn’t romantic enough for you?” Jin stuffs your face into his chest and his arms wrap around your head. “Here, try to smell only me.”

The sounds of his laughter fill the room along with your screams of protest.

When you and Jin walk back to his apartment you do so hand in hand. Cautiously you open the door and peer inside. No one is there ready to murder you as you walk through the door so that’s a good sign. A head peeks around the corner and your relieved to see its just Taehyung.

He stares openly at your hands before sending a wink your way. “I thought you’d love birds would be gone longer.”

You groan as Jin answers, “We would but someone’s house smells like burnt popcorn.”

“Huh.” Taehyung points behind him into the living room. “Also, you may want to see this.”

He disappears as the two of you take your shoes off. Curiously you round the corner and are surprised at what you see. There before you is still a pink haired Yoongi but instead of being murderous he’s wearing his gummy smile and laughing with Jimin. The two are taking selfies and being super adorable with their matching pink hair. Jungkook spots you from where he’s sitting and grins.

“What’s going on?”

Yoongi doesn’t even bother looking at you. “You know I think pink is a nice look.”

“Eh?” Both you and Jin are equally confused. Jungkook’s grin only gets larger.

“I figured out you messed with my shampoo when I got home, and asked hyung if he’d help me out. He wanted to have fun too.”

“Got you!” Yoongi yells out as him and Jimin take another selfie.

“What!?”