#also HOLY SHIT YOU CAN EDIT TAGS AFTER YOU TYPED THEM? SINCE WHEN WHAT THE FUCK

[crescentfool]

Do you know why Minato is naked when he does his fusion spell in Persona 3 and when he's in the velvet room in Persona 3 Dancing?

asdfdklh hi anon! while i can't give a definitive/canonical answer, i get the vibe that it might have something to do with inner selves and spiritual kinds of stuff? the p3 protagonists are the only ones who can pull off fusion spells without assistance, and i'd imagine it has something to do with the strength of their soul? (gestures at other shit that happens at p3. you know. the fucking door.)

or for a simpler answer- you can think of it being in the same vein as a magical girl transformation. 😂

that said, i CAN say that this isn't the only instance of that kind of imagery! you also see this near the end of the PSP remake's opening for persona 2: innocent sin (which i highly recommend watching btw ITS GOOD SHIT, even if you don't know much about p2!).

hope this helps! i'm not too sure about the p3d instance as i haven't encountered it- but it was nice to give this some thought. and have a nice day! ✨

[argisthebulwark]

Ao3 20 Questions

thank you @kagedbird for the tag!! <3<3 i will tag some friends @daedrabait @miraakswhore @somethingscarlet13 @queerbashir if u wanna participate <3

How many works do you currently have on ao3? Currently 25. holy shit, i thought it was more than that lol

What's your total ao3 word count? 98,336. Used to be like 200k before i cleaned out some old works i didn't care for anymore.

What fandoms do you write for? Skyrim and Star Trek TOS & AOS

What are your top five fics by kudos? Sorry Lass, Make Me Feel Mortal, Don't Shut Me Out, Fascinating, and Destroy Rebuild

Do you respond to comments? Sometimes! Honestly it depends on whether or not i'm online and see them. if i don't respond right away it feels rude to respond weeks after the fact, but for repeat commenters or usernames i recognize i try to!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Idk i used to like to emotionally beat up Jim a lot, so probably one of the short stories where i explore all his traumas

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Probably Sorry, Lass. I originally wrote it in 2015 and i'm fairly certain it ends with a mushy marriage scene.

Do you get hate on fics? Surprisingly, no. I think i got a few rude comments back when i first started, but honestly everyone's been too kind to me.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Hell yeah brother that's what i do!! I love angsty, emotionally charged smut. my personal favorite to write is angry, hatefuck type of stuff. or when they're using it to avoid talking about feelings.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not that i've ever posted lmao. I don't usually post non canon compliant fics for whatever fandom i'm working in.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Kinda. a few years ago someone let me know that my work had been reposted to a fic site i don't use and one quick message got them to take it down. Also, i once posted a fic as a one off, forgot that i'd done that, and used the same scene much later in a larger story - and some nice commenter on the original let me know that someone had stolen my idea lmao

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope, never had anyone request that and don't want to do so incorrectly.

Have you ever cowritten a fic? Kind of? an old friend and i used to write separate chapters of our self insert marvel fics and mush them together into one story lol. never posted it anywhere, it was just shared emails and google docs.

What's your all time favorite ship? God, that's hard. probably McKirk. as i've gotten older and unlearned all the internal shame about self inserts it's gotten easier to do a self insert story instead of an established pair.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Every few weeks i pluck away at my regency au Miraak fic. i don't think i'll ever actually finish it because it's just so big in my head it's hard to get on paper, but i hope i do someday.

What are your writing strengths? I'm very comfortable writing sex scenes. I think that often when the author is uncomfortable about writing explicit sex the reader can really feel it in the story and i put in a lot of work to get over those mental hurdles. i've been told i'm good at characterization, which is awesome! i love getting in a character's head!

What are your writing weaknesses? Very often i find myself bogged down with the need to describe every little scene. it's a major reason i haven't posted a longfic in a while - i want to write these big stories but find myself getting lost in the little details. i also have a terrible habit of editing myself while i'm writing, which just gets me stuck in an unproductive loop.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Since i'm only fluent in English, this isn't something i am confident in. i've written in a few fictional languages for fics before but would probably reach out or suggest another author if a reader wanted something that heavily involved this.

First fandom you wrote for? Twilight babey!!! self insert oc to smooch Edward Cullen when i was a little middle schooler!!! i didn't know what fanfiction was but i knew i had a big ol crush on him.

Favorite fic you've written? not to be cringe on main, but most of my favorites are things that never got published. they're the little things still hanging out in my google docs that i go back to over and over. i rewrote all of star trek into darkness word for word just to make bones and jim kiss, i made a self insert just to smooch skurge after hyperfixating on thor ragnarok, and the weird time a few months ago where i wrote like 40k words of a cowboy romance. i read them often and wish that i'd written more on many of them but i do not read my published works.

thanks to anyone who read my rambling lmao. love you all sososo much, thank you for reading my silly little stories and caring about them. <3<3<3

[dramaqueeenamby]

𝙎𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝗈𝖿 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 | seven

Parings: CEO!Chris Hemsworth x Stripper!OC // Words: 7.8K // Type: Series // Taglist: Yes/No (Inbox me to be tagged or removed) Warnings: Sexual harassment, racial themes, discussions pertaining to child death, miscarriage, alcohol/drug use, and suicide attempts. Angst.

A/N: I'm so sorry for the inexcusable delay in updates. This chapter is hella long and perhaps should have been split into two, but I promised ya'll some answers in the last chapter, so here they are!

“What is that haircut?”

“Why are you zooming in?”

Kaya said nothing, continuing to pinch her fingers to gain a closer look, her smile widening by the second. “Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. “

Chris rolled his eyes. “All children go through phases.”

“This is beyond a phase, my friend. Don’t even get me started on the outfit.” As she erupted in yet another fit of giggles, he took advantage of the opportunity to snatch the iPad away from her.

“Go to sleep.”

Quieting herself down, she wiped at her eyes. “No. Come on. I’m enjoying this, and like you said, you were a dumb kid. How were you supposed to know these photos would haunt you till’ the end of time?”

“Only if they get out.”

“Don’t tempt me with a good time, sir.”

Chris closed the app and looked over at her. “What about you?”

Kaya’s brow lifted. “What about me?”

“What about your phases?”

She snorted. “Absolutely not.” He continued to stare her down, prompting her to cave, a surprising move even for her. Kaya’s tenacity was typically much stronger than that. “Fine.”

She grabbed her phone and unlocked it, opening Google Photos and scrolling mindlessly. She knew that any horrifically embarrassing snapshots would be from as far back as her library went. The older the photo, the higher the likelihood she would regret ever caving.

It took roughly two minutes for her to locate a set, her eyes shutting and a small moan leaving her partially closed mouth.

He smirked. “Found it?”

“Shut up.”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“You’re going to make me regret this, aren’t you?”

“Without a doubt.”

She couldn’t help it. She laughed. “At least you’re honest.” Blowing out a breath, she issued a formal forewarning. “In my defense, I was young and dumb.”

“How is that diff—fine, I will reserve my judgment.”

“Liar.” When he said nothing else, she took another deep breath and gradually pulled her phone away from her breast, twisting her wrist so that he could see the screen. “I give you, thebaddestputa69.”

She watched the corner of his lips lift upward as he fought off a smile in favor of a smirk. “Hotmail or aol?” Her surprise at his knowledge of the fallen email servers must have shown because he commented, “I’m old, not ancient.”

She matched his smirk and leaned over to whisper. “Hotmail. Definitely hotmail.”

“AIM username?”

“Come on, the same as my email. I wasn’t creative enough to have multiple aliases.”

He chuckled, grabbing her phone to examine the photo. “I certainly do not miss the peace sign era.”

“I’m pretty sure I used that same pose in all of my photos back then.”

He gestured to the plastered graphic that read ‘jealousy is a disease, get well soon’. “With the same masterful level of editing, I’m sure.”

“But of course, blingee and picnik were a staple.”

A comfortable silence befell them as he returned her phone, and she quickly swiped up to close the app. Kaya was grateful that he didn’t swipe right or left, something she was expecting him to do, if she was being completely honest with herself.

Kaya yawned and naturally laid her head on his shoulder as she reached over to grab the book she was reading when they somehow got on the topic of rebellious and wild phases of days of past.

“Are we th—”

“Finish that sentence, and I will personally throw you out of this damn plane myself.”

Kaya looked over at him, eyebrows furrowed, and mouth pronounced. “It’s a legitimate question.”

“No, it was a legitimate question. However, it stopped being one when you asked me the fifth time.”

“I’m just trying to keep the conversation going. Damn.”

“No, you’re just trying to pester me.”

“Look, it’s obvious you don’t want to hear me talk anymore, so I’m just going to shut my mouth for the remainder of the flight.” He snorted. “What?”

“We both know that’s not possible.” He finally broke his gaze from his phone as he looked over with that knowing smirk that she despised. “You always have to have the last word.”

“That is not true.”

“Kaya, you’re like a child.”

“Keep it up, and you’ll be the one who’s personally tossed from this jet.”

“See what I mean.”

Groaning, she threw her hands up and shook the book in her right hand. “This is the second book in this series.”

“And?”

“And I started the series when we were still on the taxi.”

He shrugged. “Read slower.”

“Chris!”

He laughed, reaching to place his hand on her thigh as she sighed while banging her head back against the headrest. “Relax.”

“Don’t you think if I could, I would?”

“You were doing great five minutes ago.”

“That was in the past.”

“Next time, we’re taking separate jets.”

She didn’t know why but hearing him refer to future happenings both excited and saddened her, for more reasons than one. She cleared her throat. “This is a work trip, right?” He looked down at her as she placed the book down on the ground and held onto his bicep. “You know, something for your company.”

He studied her for a moment and looked up, closing his eyes as he laid his head back against the headrest. “I have the cover of this month’s GQ Italia.”

“Fancy,” she remarked, still unsatisfied with his answer-non answer. “So, I was right. This is a work thing.”

Chris thought about what she said, what she asked, as well as his response before he replied. “They offered to contract a photographer in LA.”

Brows scrunched, she had to ask, now more confused than she was just a few minutes ago. “So why go to them?”

His silence only irked her, the seconds dragging into minutes, which felt like hours. Frustrated and impatient, she called his name again. “Chris-”

“Jesus,” was all she heard before his lips were on hers, palm of his hand pressed against her cheek. Everything else after that was a sensual blur. His other hand moved to her hip, pulling her onto his lap, never once breaking their kiss. She placed her hands on his shoulders, giving a light squeeze, inching her body closer to his, close enough to feel the heat that always emanated over him.

And then, it was over.

Eyes fluttering and breath staggering, she nearly whined when he ran his thumb over her swollen bottom lip.

“This isn’t work for me.”

----

“This is our room?”

Chris looked up and chuckled, watching Kaya spin around the middle, eyes soaking in their suite. He placed her bag near the closet while crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“It is.”

Kaya nodded and grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt, tugging it over her head. She extended her arm out and turned around, lifting a brow. “And we have maid service, correct?”

He eyed her. “Of course.”

Kaya smirked and let the garment fall to the floor.

Chris chuckled. “You wanna explain that?”

“What?” She played innocent, fingers toying with the waistband of her joggers as she began to shimmy out of them. “Staying in a fancy hotel where I don’t have t0 clean up after myself?” She walked toward him, moving to grab her suitcase so that she could find her next outfit. “Granted, we have the maid service at home, but—” Both Christopher and Kaya paused at her statement, equally surprised by how easily it flowed, but more so with the statement itself.

Defense immediately kicked in and Kaya cleared her throat. “I mean, ya know, your place.” She refused to make eye contact that exceeded ten seconds, grabbing the handle of her suitcase and dragging it in the direction of what looked like the bathroom.

“Dibs.”

Her feet weren’t moving fast enough for her liking. In fact, they were slow enough that Chris was somehow able to cross the room and grab her by her arm. She looked up, managing to remain calm while inwardly panicking.

God, please don’t let him ask anything.

“Don’t take too long.”

She swallowed. “Why?”

Her grip on the handle tightened when he moved his hand to her face, the back of it brushing against her cheek. Had he been paying close enough attention, he would have noticed the way she shivered at his touch.

“You want dinner, don’t you?”

-----

“This isn’t exactly what I meant.”

Kaya looked up from her pizza, pausing mid chew. “What? Pizza in Italy? This is goals.”

He intended to take her to a fine restaurant, one where only the elite could afford to dine. Instead, she requested pizza delivered to their room. Kaya never ceased to surprise him. “And why are you eating pizza with a fork?”

She shrugged, adjusting the thin strap of her shirt. “Because pizza is messy, and my life's already messy enough. I avoid when I can.”

Chris didn’t say anything, simply watching her eat. She caught his gaze and looked away. If she could, she’d go back in time and stop herself from ever saying what she did. It’d ruined everything. He’d been acting different around her since, and she hated that. She also hated that she hated it.

Since when did she give a flying fuck about what people thought of her? Let alone him.

It was out of character for her, and she didn’t like it.

She didn’t like it at all.

Similarly, Chris also found it difficult to focus on anything other than the encounter from earlier, but not for the reasons Kaya thought.

Not even close.

“So, what’s the agenda for this trip?”

He chuckled and brought the champagne to his lips. “And ruin the surprise?”

Her eyes narrowed as she replaced the fork with her fingers so that she could eat the crust piece by piece. “What surprise?”

“What kind of question is that? Who gives away a surprise?”

“Are you capable of ever just answering my questions with a straight answer?”

He pretended to think. “I could.”

“But?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“You and fun? Never realized they were synonymous.”

“I’d like to think we have fun.”

“We have sex. Really, really, great sex.”

“You don’t consider that fun?”

“Fun isn’t a strong enough word to describe it.” He lifted a brow, and she scoffed, tossing a red pepper packet in his direction. “Stop it. I am trying to have a mature conversation here.”

“Not quite sure how possible that is when both parties are inebriated.”

“Bullshit. You know damn well neither one of us is drunk. You haven’t seen me drunk. Hell, I haven’t seen me drunk in a while.”

The way her tone changed toward the end of her sentence garnered his interest. “Why not?”

She looked at him, her smile faltering as she nervously cleared her throat. “I—uh—I get really bad migraines, and Excedrin is the only thing that works for me.” Telling him the truth, well, a fraction of the truth, felt strange yet relieving, probably because she’d spent so much of her life hiding and lying that the truth was unfamiliar territory. “Needless to say, meds and alcohol? Never really a good combo.”

“You’re drinking now.”

“I haven’t taken any medicine yet.”

“Maybe you won’t have to.”

She smiled sadly. “I will.” A beat. “It’s all I have.” Kaya snatched another piece of her crust and swallowed fully before explaining. “That’s why my sleep schedule, if you can even call it that, is so fucked up.”

He thought about it. “Excedrin has caffeine.”

“An insane amount.”

“It helps your migraines—”

“And keeps me up in return.” When he grew quiet, she offered. “Trust me. The insomnia is much better than the pain.”

“I’m sorry.”

She grimaced, eyes darting in either direction. “Why?”

He sighed and ran his hands all over his face. “That’s why you get so upset when I wake you up.”

“I wouldn’t say upset.”

“You threatened to slit my throat in my sleep.”

“Okay, maybe I was a little upset,” she confessed, and they shared a laugh before his tone grew serious again.

“I’ll be mindful of that.” Head tilted to the side, a sign she was still confused, he continued. “So that you can sleep.”

She smiled teasingly, abandoning the last bit of her food, and pushing her plate to the side. “Is that consideration I hear?”

“It is.”

The way he was looking at her, the lack of typical sarcasm in his tone, it was both welcoming and conflicting. Crawling across the floor, she moved his plate to the side and climbed into his lap.

Hands on his shoulders, she lowered her voice and whispered into his ear. “Well, I’m up right now.”

He made a sound and brought his hands to her hips. “You are.” Her eyes shut when his lips moved to her shoulder. “You should get some sleep.”

Immediately, she coiled back and glared. “Are you serious right now?” He laughed, which only upset her further as he stood up, her legs locking around his waist. “It’s been at least 8 hours.”

“You keeping a timer or something?”

“Look.” She waited for him to place her on the bed before she grabbed the bottom of his shirt and tugging so that he laid back on the mattress. She quickly climbed on top of him. “If there’s one thing I know about us, we are ideal intimate partners. Our sexual chemistry is astronomical.”

His eyes drank her in. “Is that it?”

“Is what it?”

His voice lowered. “Is that all you think we have?”

At that moment, Kaya realized a couple of things. This was wrong. She was suddenly very much uncomfortable. And this was a mistake. This was why she didn’t tell the truth. It meant putting yourself at risk for being vulnerable.

She was never good with that.

Clearing her throat, she climbed off him and flashed a crafty smile. “I’m gonna go shower.” She couldn’t handle seeing his face, so she turned around, purposely pretending she had to look around the room to search for her luggage.

“You should know I hate sleeping with blankets.” Kaya needed to redirect the conversation to another topic. This was becoming all too much for her.

He sat up and rolled his shoulders. “So, strip the bed? Got it.”

“Absolutely not. I could freeze.”

“You just said—”

Kaya stood by the door that led to the living room area and smiled sadly. “I’m a hot ass mess, Chris.” A beat. “The sooner you accept that, the better.”

-------

We need to talk when you get a chance. Please?

No matter how many times she looked at the phone, a new incoming gray message never appeared. She waited and waited, even scrolling up only for it to bounce back with no change.

She missed Nia. She missed their banter. She missed making tik toks with her. And she especially missed the advice giving, of which she could desperately use right about now.

Something was happening between them. With her and Chris. Of which she didn’t know, nor did she understand. It drove her mad because it was a new experience, one where she didn’t feel as though she always had to walk on eggshells.

Being with Chris….

“God.” She ran her hand over her face. What the hell was she doing? She wasn’t with Chris. Not like that, anyway. This was a business transaction. They were both using each other for selfish purposes.

Maybe it was the sex. Nia always warned her that behind every sexual encounter, there was at least some trace of feelings.

Kaya always thought that was bullshit.

Now….now she wasn’t so sure.

“You alright?”

She looked up from her chair and saw Chris walk in. She chewed the inside of her cheek as he sat down in the chair opposite of her. Kaya took in his wardrobe, so casual and laid back. She’d never seen him in denim before, but he looked good.

She didn’t even know the photographer, but she was a fan. A billionaire in Levi’s? Iconic.

“How does it feel to dress like us common folk?”

“Poor.” He winked as she glared. “We should be done soon.”

“Don’t rush on my part. The snacks here are delicious, and who knows, I could play dress up.” She wiggled her brows and straightened when there was a knock on the door.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the photographer spoke up and offered Kaya a friendly smile. “You’re Kaya, yes? I’m Elena.”

Kaya was surprised by the fact that this woman was both speaking to her and actually knew who she was, so her response was delayed. “Yes. It’s nice to meet you.” She offered her hand and noticed the woman was staring at her. Welp. It was nice while it lasted. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized but continued to stare. “It’s just...has anyone ever told you that you have amazing bone structure?”

Kaya sputtered. “Not unless they wanted something from me.”

Elena smiled. “Well, I suppose this is no different.”

“I don’t understand,” Kaya asked, looking over at Chris. He was surprisingly quiet.

“How about we get some shots of the both of you?”

She immediately protested. “Oh no. I—I’m just here for moral support.”

“You did say you wanted to play dress up,” he reminded. She glared. Of course he would choose to speak up now.

She turned her narrowed eyes on him and harshly whispered. “Not while being photographed.”

He placed his hand over hers. “Relax.”

Kaya remembered that they weren’t alone and therefore, had to keep up the act. Even if it was starting to feel less and less like acting.

“I’m used to people watching, not photographing.” He lifted a brow. Laughing, she slapped his chest and took a deep breath. She looked over at Elena. “Will I at least get to see them before you pick which ones to use? If any.”

“Of course.”

Kaya caved. “Fine.” He kissed the top of her head and mouthed a thank you. “You owe me.”

“Sure, I do,” he dismissed, slapping her on her ass as Elena grabbed her to drag her away.

“Time to make magic.”

-----

It was a bad idea, one of many that had occurred, Kaya realized.

When she joked about wanting to play dress—up, she didn’t think that it would actually happen. She didn’t think that she’d become involved in his shoot. Kaya especially didn’t expect to have as much….fun as she did.

And she hated that, too. The fact that she managed to smile and laugh more in one setting than she had in, hell, longer than she could remember. She didn’t like it. She didn’t like it at all.

She really, really didn’t like the way Chris looked at her every time she walked onto set in a new look, and there were a couple of them. The way he focused on her, eyes taking in every bit of her form, all the way down from her shoes up to her hair. Like he didn’t want to look away. Like he couldn’t look away. She despised the way he held her when they were photographed together, often being the reason for her smile or laughter with his comments that he whispered into her ear, sneaking in a kiss against her temple or holding her against him.

It was all so domestic and sweet, and it made no sense.

He was starting to make no sense.

And she especially didn’t understand why she was putting off leaving the bathroom, having sat on the toilet for at least 15 minutes.

As if on cue, two loud knocks on the door pulled her from her thoughts.

“I’m coming, damnit.”

“That’s what you said last time. Come on, Kaya.” She was both surprised and annoyed that it was Chris. She expected it to be members of the glam team that he’d hired to help her prepare for the GQ function he was invited to, and of course, she was forced to accompany him. Turns out he wasn’t just chosen for the cover. He was man of the year. “We’re going to be late.”

“Maybe you should just leave me behind,” she muttered.

“Maybe I can just kick this damn door down,” he countered.

“Then you’ll have to pay for the damages.”

“Then I’ll buy the damn hotel,” he shot back testily. “I’m not going to ask you again, Kaya.”

She scowled and rolled her neck. Kaya knew he was being serious. The bastard could buy his way out of anything.

If only….

Blowing out a deep breath, she swallowed and stood, holding up her dress. It was undoubtedly beautiful, gold, a slit in the middle of her chest and on her left leg exposing more skin than she would have thought appropriate. Her curls were styled in a fancy updo, and her makeup was equally as bold as her dress, finalized with a red lip. She knew that she looked good, and that’s what scared her.

Chris had been looking at her like that all day, and she couldn’t keep handling it.

If she could even consider it handling. Managing was perhaps a better term. Poorly managing was the perfect term.

Kaya ripped open the door and plastered on a fake smile. “Happy?”

And there it was, his eyes widened and softened as he gave her a onceover. “And don’t tell me I look beautiful, cause’ I already know it.”

Kaya figured if she said it for him, she wouldn’t have to deal with the weird and uncomfortable knotting in her stomach that she experienced every time he complimented her.

And it worked, he said nothing, only helping to hold up her dress as they walked to the SUV that would escort them. In the car, she was also pleasantly surprised that he didn’t attempt to make small talk with her during the drive. She was certain, however, that it was because he took at least three different work calls during that time.

She made drafted Tik Toks in the meantime.

When they finally arrived, Kaya nearly ran out of the car right then and there.

“Is that a red carpet?” Her mouth dropped. “What the hell? You said nothing about having to walk a damn carpet that is red.”

He chuckled. Kaya realized his hand was on the exposed portion of her thigh. “Stay close to me, and I’ll take care of you. You’ll be fine.”

Kaya was used to having eyes on her, but that didn’t mean she liked it, especially when it didn’t involve money being thrown her way. “I don’t have to say anything, do I?”

He squeezed her thigh. “You’ll most likely receive compliments.”

“I can handle that,” she spoke more to herself than him. “Just long as no one asks if I prefer cats over dogs or whatever shit they ask.”

He laughed quietly and looked at her. “You ready?”

No. “Yes.”

Chris climbed out the car first so that he could help her out of the vehicle, and as soon as she stepped out, she cursed to herself. There were so many damn people. People taking photographs. People being photographed. People helping both the people the photographed and the photographers. And then there was her. She felt so out of place.

If he wasn’t already holding her hand, she would have grabbed for his.

Kaya used her left hand to hold up her dress, while making sure that she stayed close to Chris who led the way, smiling for the camera while sparing her glances every so often to assess her level of comfort.

Kaya played along, evoking a smile as she posed with him for a few photos. That’s when it started again. Like the photoshoot from a few hours ago, she found herself feeling less forced and more comfortable. Like, it was natural.

Like it was real.

Kaya was eventually allowed to stand to the side as he gave a few interviews, some in English, most in Italian. She’d meant to ask him earlier when the hell he learned to speak so many languages. This was the third she’d learned of. She had a feeling at least one or two journalists asked about her, because he would look in her direction and shoot a wink or something of the sort.

Her smile was a natural reaction.

The process was less daunting than she anticipated, not that she’d ever admit that to him. It was once they moved inside that Kaya realized they’d yet to reach the hard part. That hardest part was “socializing” with the guests, many of which were white, spicy white at best. She spotted some minorities but found that they were just as distant as the rest.

The vim of the event was welcoming, however, which confused Kaya to some extent. She simplified it down to the event was nice, the people were trash, and Chris was both an ass and a gentleman for forcing her to come.

He’d introduced her to a few people, most of which spoke poor English. That, she could acknowledge, was nice. Not the strained English, but his obvious concern for her wellbeing. He was going out of his way to make her feel as comfortable as he could.

It was also irritating because it resurfaced those damn knots.

They were seated at a table, and he was texting someone when she leaned over and tugged on his sleeve. Kaya also took a moment to appreciate how nice he looked. The man was something sinful in a suit. “I think I know him.”

He looked up, immediately locking his phone. “Who?”

She gestured with her chin. “The guy over there talking to the girl with the green dress. But don’t look at them.”

His eyes lifted to the ceiling. Right before he proceeded to look right in that direction.

She laughed despite her irritation. “What did I literally just fucking say?”

“I’ll never understand why people want to do something without actually doing it. I don’t have the time.” She shook her head. He was so impatient. “And how do you know him?”

She lifted a brow. He asked with a newfound sense of urgency. If she didn’t know any better, she would have guessed it came from a place of jealousy.

Kaya studied the stranger across the room again when her eyes widened. “I know. He’s that actor from that porn movie we watched.”

“We don’t watch porn, Kaya. We make it.”

“Stop it.” She leaned closer, hating that her smile contrasted the frustration she felt with how vulgar he was speaking in such a public setting. “And you know the movie where they…..ya know, basically the whole time, and he kept asking in that godawful delivery, are you lost, baby girl?”

Her equally terrible impression caused him to laugh quietly. “I think that is him.”

“I told you.” She spoke a little louder than she would have liked due to her excitement at being correct. “He looks better on screen.”

Chris glanced over at him once more and scoffed. “He’s scrawny.”

“Sir, not everyone is like you and built like a fucking tanker.”

“Not my problem.”

Kaya rolled her eyes and gathered her dress. “I’ll be back. I have to use the restroom.” She stood and leaned over, arms around him from behind as she whispered. “Try not to be too much of a dick while I’m gone, okay?”

He turned to look at her. “And where’s the fun in that?”

Turns out finding the bathroom was a harder task than she’d anticipated. She’d asked one of the servers while maneuvering through the crowd, but it also turned out that Kaya wasn’t the best with directions. She did find it, though.

Eventually.

Kaya was navigating her way back to Chris when she was stopped by a man in a suit along the way.

He was of average height, average build, and average attraction. She was immediately annoyed.

“Hi,” Kaya greeted with a tight smile.

“Hello,” he smiled. Add in average dental health. “You are very beautiful.”

Kaya realized he didn’t have an accent, either. American, most likely. “Uhh, thank you.” When she moved to walk past him, he blocked her. “Sir, I really should—”

“How much?”

Her eyes darted to either side. “I’m sorry?”

“Money is no issue, as I’m sure you can see, and I’d like you for a week.” He stepped closer, bringing his hand to trail it down her arm. “Longer even, perhaps.”

“Sir, I have no idea what you are talking about, and please do not touch me.” It wasn’t so much of a request as much as it was a demand. “Now, I really should—”

“You’re not American.” Kaya continued to be confused as hell when his eyes lit up with excitement. “That explains why you look so exotic.” Confusion easily morphed into rage as she finally caught on to what he was referring to. “I bet you feel di—”

“You’re disgusting,” she hissed, pulling away from him. “I am not a fucking prostitute—”

“Call it what you want, girl,” he dismissed. “I don’t judge. I can pay you well.”

“Go fuck yourself, you sick son of a bitch,” she cursed, turning away when he grabbed her arm. “Let me go.”

“You think that you’re special?” He’d taken on another tone, one that conveyed his anger at being rejected. “The fuckin’ stall I just pissed in is worth more than you, bitch.”

Kaya refused to allow him to see her cry, but she’d be lying if she tried to say that his words didn’t sting, especially his next verbal attack.

“You can slap on that expensive dress and let Hemsworth make you feel special, but I know, you know, and everyone else in this fucking place knows that you’re nothing but a cheap, illegal whore—” Panic arose when he moved his hand to the exposed skin of her thigh, squeezing tightly. His hand started to inch upward when Kaya acted on instinct. He cursed aloud while Kaya gasped as she realized that she’d silenced him with her fist dead square in the middle of his face. “You fucking bitch!”

Shock and fear took over as Kaya gathered the bottom of her dress and ran, as much as the gown and her heels would allow, that is. Certain he was going to chase her for retribution, she consistently looked back, unaware that she needed to be just as aware of what was in front as what was behind.

She shrieked and immediately went to pull herself away from the strong body she’d collided with.

“Kaya.” Refocusing her attention, she looked up and realized it was Chris. “Where the hell—” He stopped amid his statement when he took in her appearance and realized that she was crying. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” Kaya looked down, speaking more to herself than him. Not that it mattered. He was judging based on what he saw instead of what she said. He’d learned by now that her words rarely matched the truth. “Let’s just go—”

“Kaya,” he repeated, softer. Chris brought his hands to her face, forcing her to meet his gaze as he asked again, slowly. “What happened?” A strike of anger flashed in his blue eyes. “Did someone touch you?”

“No,” she answered, quickly. Too quickly.

The anger escalated exponentially. “Who? Tell me.”

Kaya could have slapped herself. She wasn’t helping the situation. She was making it worse. “It doesn’t matter, I hit him, and now he’s probably going to sue you—”

“Where is he?” Chris was looking behind her, eyes flaming. He was livid. “Show me. Now.”

“No.” Speaking was becoming an increasing challenge, especially against the backdrop of overwhelming emotions. Everything she’d been feeling, preventing herself from feeling, and afraid to acknowledge was gradually bubbling to the surface. “Just—just let me go back to the hotel. I’m messing everything up for you.”

He calmed for a second, realizing what was happening. Chris was unfamiliar with this side of her. Unfamiliar with seeing her so vulnerable. “What?”

Kaya suddenly realized that her eyes were burning again. She was fighting back tears. “I’ll give you back the money for the day, it’s—it’s fine, you’re better off without me here—”

Her offer to pay him incensed Chris. This wasn’t about the money. It stopped being about the money a long time ago, even if he hadn’t realized that until today. “I don’t want the fucking money, Kaya.”

She shook her head and closed her eyes. “Don’t—don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“Please,” she plead. Control over her emotions was a battle she’d all but lost at that point. Her words, she was certain, would be next.

He raised his voice. Chris sensed, saw that she was uncomfortable, but he also realized that this was what she needed. A push. “Why?”

“Because this all about the fucking money, okay?” She matched his volume, accepting that her tears were going to fall no matter how much she willed them not to. She’d lost the war. “It has to be about the money, because if it isn’t then that means you care, and—you can’t, alright?”

He studied her, wondering if she realized this conversation was difficult for him too. He brought his hand to the side of her face. “Why is it so impossible for you to accept that I fucking care about you?”

She looked up, glistening eyes and wavering voice. “Because then I have to admit that I care about you too, and I can’t do that.” She spoke to herself, as if vocalizing it would cement a decision that was already out of her hands. “I won’t do it.”

“Why?” He pressed. Chris brought his other hand to the other side of her face, cupping it and moving closer. He gave zero fucks about where they were and who could have possibly overheard. “Why are you fighting this so hard?”

She pulled herself away from him, back colliding against the wall as she blurted, “because all I do is hurt the people I care about alright?” In that moment, Kaya realized she was so far gone that the point of return was no longer an option. Her mouth trembled as she struggled to form her next sentence, listing off names with her fingers as props. “Mami, Papi, Nia. Hell, my own brother is dead because of me.” A beat. “I’ll only hurt you, and I care about you too much to do that.”

“Kaya—"

A newfound heaviness started to weigh upon her chest, another blockade to her speech. “I’m standing here in a dress I can’t afford, a building I can’t even fucking pronounce, and with a man I don’t deserve.”

His voice lowered. “Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, I don’t deserve you?” Kaya looked at him, her eyes softening before she squinted, her face scrunching up in obvious pain.

He took note of this. As invested as Chris was in finally getting Kaya to open up about how she really felt, her wellbeing would always be his primary concern.

“Kaya.” He placed his hands on her waist, steadying her. “What’s wrong?”

“I—” She blinked several times, blinding lights obscuring her vision. “I—can’t—" Kaya felt the firmness of his chest, inhaled the scent of his cologne, and heard her name on his lips before everything faded to black.

-----

She awoke on her side, body clutched against a pillow, and a thin sheet covering half her body. Never one to take her time returning to her senses, she forced herself to sit up, eyes still scrunched from the sleep.

Looking down she realized she was dressed in only one of Chris’s dress shirts, her dress discarded.

Memory returned as Kaya replayed the events that transpired prior to her slumber. The photoshoot. The party. The asshole.

Chris.

“I don’t care. Tell them to send it in the mail or something.”

She recognized his voice traveling from the living room area, prompting her to swing her legs over the bed, her toes submerging into the soft carpet. She’d never been in such a fine hotel where the carpeting probably cost more than six months’ worth of rent on her one-bedroom apartment.

“Evans, I don’t give a flying fuck about any of that right now. You can handle it. I don’t care.”

Kaya contemplated remaining where she was, eavesdropping without being detected. She quickly decided against it. She’d done enough.

Her feet carried her out of the room, and she stood in the doorway where she saw he was standing against the massive window that provided a breathtaking overview of the city.

Again, she considered leaving him be, but he either had exceptional peripheral vision or caught her reflection in the window because he spun around. Kaya’s eyebrows furrowed when she realized he was still dressed in his suit, with the expectation of the jacket and dress shirt which were both discarded, leaving the white undershirt.

Uncomfortable with the way he was looking at her, more concern than that, she settled onto the sofa, pulling a decorative pillow to her chest as she crossed her legs.

“I have to go,” he spoke briefly before pulling the phone from his ear and hanging up.

Kaya swallowed. He’d yet to speak, so she took the opportunity to do so. “Still don’t believe me when I said I’m a hot mess?”

“What happened tonight, Kaya?”

“Which part?” She knew that playing coy wasn’t the best route, but she was forever stubborn and would fight until she had nothing left. “Where I ruined your evening, assaulted a millionaire, told you one of my deepest secrets, or fainted in your arms? There’s a lot.”

“All of it.”

She looked away and licked her lips. Kaya felt cornered, absolutely trapped. Emotionally. She’d always assumed being physically stuck would feel far more suffocating and frightening. She was wrong.

Kaya considered her options, though far and few in between. She could deflect. She was a master at that. She could redirect blame onto him. Call him out on even making her go on the trip, for not telling her ahead of time what to expect, maybe throw in a few insults. And lastly, the most frightening of them all, she could be honest.

That was the scariest of them all.

“I lied to you.” The words spilled out before she realized it, but Kaya accepted the fact that she was tired. There was only so much she could carry, and she’d reached her limits. “My—my parents aren’t dead. They still live in the same house in Parlier that I grew up in with Denes. He’s—he was my brother.” It felt strange talking about, verbalizing what she’d quietly struggled with for so many years. And yet, there was a peace that accompanied the release. “He was such a beautiful little boy, but….different. He didn’t talk much, life skills were….hard for him, and he had these fixations on certain things. He didn’t like change.”

“Kaya, you don’t—”

“When I was eleven, and he was eight, my parents found out they were pregnant. They’d been trying for so long….they were so happy.” She roughly wiped at her face to do away with the silent tears that fell. The crying, however, was inevitable. “One day, they had a checkup appointment, and the babysitter fell through, so they asked me to watch Denes.” She nodded slowly, reverting to the same rush of emotions she felt that day. “I was so….mad, because my friend had just gotten Guitar Hero, and I was supposed to walk down to her house so we could play it.” To that day, Kaya felt a strong surge of rage whenever she ran across a throwback picture or read an article referring to that game. It was a trigger.

“My parents promised that I could go when they returned, but I just couldn’t wait.” Her nose turned up with disgust, disgust directed 100% inward. “I just had to go play that stupid fucking game.”

“Denes loved birds. They were one of his fixations. They think—they think he saw one outside our living room window or something and walked outside to see if he could catch it because, of course, I forgot to lock the front door.” She stared off into space before closing her eyes. “I had just walked into my friend’s house when I heard someone scream like I’ve never heard a scream before.” Kaya tugged the pillow closer to her chest and lowered her head. “I ran back so fast because I thought—I thought I could help him. I thought I could save him.” Her voice cracked. “—But there was so much blood, and he was so hurt—he died in the middle of the street, bleeding, terrified, and it was all my fault.”

Chris closed his eyes and shook his head. “Kaya—”

“They never found the driver,” she added quietly, chewing on the inside of her cheek. “The shock of it all……it was too much for my mom, and she miscarried.” Kaya laughed, but there wasn’t a trace of humor. “I spiraled after Denes passed. Everything bad and terrible I could get myself into, I did. I—I skipped class, I partied, I drank, I tried drugs.” She scoffed. “I lost my virginity when I was thirteen to some guy whose name I still don’t know because I was so drunk.” She leaned back into the sofa, staring at the intricate pattern of the rug. “I just—at the time, I thought if I did enough, I could make my parents hate me, because it’s what I deserved. But for everything I tried, they kept giving me chance after chance.”

“So, then I attempted suicide, twice, and I couldn’t even do that right.” She groaned and wiped at her eyes again. The cuffs of the shirt were nearly soaked. “I realized that God or the universe or whomever clearly wanted me to suffer and to live with my guilt, but in the midst of trying to punish myself, I failed to realize that all I’d done was cause my parents more pain.”

“Day of my high school graduation, I woke up at the crack of dawn to pack up my bags, told my parents that I was going out with some friends, but I’d be home by 7—and I haven’t seen or spoken with them since.”

She clapped and lifted her hands. “And there you have it. You’ve now seen me naked; you’ve seen me cry, and now you know that I’m a murderer—”

“You’re not a murderer, Kaya,” he was finally able to complete his sentence, still very much in shock over what she’d disclosed. “And what happened to your brother wasn’t your fault.”

Chris watched her demeanor soften, shifting from her previous facetious tone to a more somber tone. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“I’m saying it because it’s the truth. You were a child.”

She shrugged sadly. “So was he.”

“That still doesn’t make it your fault.”

She turned away from where he sat across from her. She hadn’t even realized he’d moved from his initial position by the window. Untangling her legs, she moved the pillow to the side and stood in front of him. “Why are you so nice to me? You should be running for the hills.”

Chris brought his hands to her waist and pulled her in between his spread legs. “Why do you keep asking questions you already know the answers to?”

“Even after everything I’ve done?” She whispered, emotion betraying her for the umpteenth time that day. “You—you still—you still feel….like that about me?”

“You’re stubborn, impulsive, argumentative, flippant, and undoubtedly one of the most complicated women I’ve ever met.” He slowly stood up, never once breaking eye contact as he cupped her face, fingers brushing away the dampness of her flushed cheeks. “And yet, seeing you smile is the highlight of my day.”

She chuckled and nervously cleared her throat. “So, was today subpar? Like, medium light? Half-light? It all went downhill after 12pm.”

He shook his head and kissed her forehead. “You are, in fact, a hot mess.”

Her fingers grasped at his sleeves. “I really am sorry about ruining your evening.”

“You didn’t ruin my evening, Kaya.” He brought his hand to her hair, pushing back the tendrils that had fallen from her updo. “Thank you for opening to me. I know that wasn’t easy.”

“It’s a lot easier opening up my legs,” she muttered, watching as he closed his eyes. “I’m sorry—you’re right. It’s—it’s not easy, and I don’t like talking about….feelings.” Her eyes lifted as she chewed on her bottom lip. “But, I do have feelings for you.” She shut her eyes and licked her top lip. “And there’s something else I need to tell you.”

His gaze softened. “Anything.”

It was so simple, the opportunity was available, the setting was perfect. She’d already told him the hardest part, now all she had to do was tell him the rest. The problem though, was that what she’d shared hadn’t changed much. It only helped him to understand her better. It would potentially improve their relationship.

This would destroy it.

She cleared her throat again. “If you tell anyone I’m capable of crying, I will smother you in your sleep.”

He chuckled and kissed her temple. “It’s late. I’m going to shower.” He studied her. “Try not to get into any more trouble, yeah?”

She smiled softly. “I make no promises.”

He gave her side a gentle squeeze before yawning as he walked back into the bedroom. Finally alone, she fell back onto the sofa and hugged the pillow against her body. Kaya felt both disgust and frustration. If there was a perfect moment to tell him, that was it, and now it was gone.

She was running out of time

-------

TAGS: @islandvamp @toni9 @destinyg237 @tashawar @valkryienymph @letsshamelessqueen-m @missyperle @kpizzletrash @brittyevans @mani-lifes @amorestevens @periodtcevans @hello-therree @shegoesbyarose @lettytheletdown @yanniebunnie @iwrite4poc @nycoledon @fangurlingismyforte @babe-im-bi @amirra88 @cocoamoonmalfoy @goldenrosexx @liquorlaughslove @ljstraightnochaser @jurneesjourney @bestyums-ever84 @notacamelthatsmywife @champagnesugamama @cest-la69vie @yanniebunny5151 @goldenrosexx​

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[faranae]

may I ask about the necromancer landlord because I love DnD stories and that sounds like a good one

OK. Fair warning this is a little background-story heavy because I gotta give some context to explain why the necromancer landlord is a thing at all. 

Edit: In fact, it got so out of hand I gotta put it under a cut.

So I know a lot of players don’t like using prefab background/trait/contact stuff from the books, but for Sam I wanted to give it a shot and modified them as-needed to suit him since we were rolling character concepts that already existed (Chemist and Cryptid). One of Sam’s contacts reads as-follows: 

I helped a Golgari spore druid with the fertilization and growth of their fungus field.

This single line actually shaped a good chunk of Sam’s backstory. After clearing it with my DM, I spent some time with him fleshing out the background behind this contact. I gave the DM my notes in the end, to build off of for the sake of his metaplot. (And HOLY SHIT did my DM take this and weave it into his metaplot in the most fantastic of ways? I love my DM.) 

So Sam’s field of specialty in the college during his early teen years involved the application of magic and technology to the study of genetics, specifically with regards to grafting the features of living specimens onto one another as the Simic are wont to do. 

However, rather than applying his studies to self-improvement, he chose instead to see how deep into the genetics themselves he could apply new and existing techniques through the study of flora and fungi. In the process he developed some unique theories, including a method which allowed splicing of features between specimens in a way that the host itself produced the fresh material; This reduced rejection rates to near-irrelevant levels and allowed the “natural” crossing of species that would otherwise be considered risky or outright incompatible. 

It was also faster than the current standards. Much faster: The use of living, established specimens allowed the introduction of features over the course of months or even weeks rather than generations. 

(Parts of this research would later be stolen by a former romantic acquaintance in the college and repurposed to springboard the final stages of advancement for a rogue branch-off of the Guardian Project, which is how Funnel got Fucked Up, but that’s a story for another time. TL;DR: Fuck Squad 6, the bastards.) 

As part of his studies and in preparation to present his findings to the guild, Sam spent about six months on-site optimizing a private Golgari operation as a chance to apply his research in a practical setting. Six months isolated in a cave below a crypt, with nobody but his sponsor/benefactor and her (numerous) undead sentries for company.

Enter Natasha. 

If there’s one thing we know about the Sams in any dimension, it’s that their type is “how can you ruin my life today”. Nat fits the bill: Predatory, forward, sassy, and most definitely a woman who knows what she wants and how to take it. What would you expect from a woman with suspiciously high standing in the Golgari Swarm? Not that Sam knew that at the time. 

The two grew close. Admittedly a bit too close when you consider that the prodigy met his 17th summer under her employment. Not only did the application of Sam’s research exceed expectations, he also learned plenty about the Swarm’s unique take on the magical school of necromancy from observing Natasha’s work when she was present. In the end the youth made one hell of a good impression, and when his work was complete they parted on fantastic terms. 

... Which is why when Sam and his swiftly mutating companion found themselves on her doorstep a year later, Nat welcomed the two with open arms. 

Fugitives from their own guild with not a soul in the world they could trust, Sam had suggested she might still have some of the equipment from his time with her, and they might be able to build off those remnants to make their own field laboratory. This proved to be the case, and after a little work (and some wise allocation of party funds) the three established a mostly-functional lab in Nat’s caves, as well as a small but homey subterranean living quarters for the boys. 

Art credit: Funnel’s player @spudinacup​ [LINK TO POST]

And so, Sam and Funnel's current “home base” is a makeshift laboratory located in a ruin/cave system below some crypts. 

With a necromancer landlord. 

And numerous undead sentries. 

All of which, by the way, now have “Hi my name is” name-tags christening them “Todd”. Which is coincidentally the name of the stray paladin we brought home a few weeks ago. Honestly at this point I’m not sure if she’s threatening him or fucking with him and I’m not sure if I want to know - but it’s certainly hilarious to watch it play out every time we return to our little hub for downtime. 

But that’s also a story for another time. 

[buckys-other-punk]

Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick. 

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend. 

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’ 

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony. 

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy 

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant. 

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend. 

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too 

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over. 

sebstan_fan: alright have fun 

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself. 

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.” 

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside. 

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you. 

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing. 

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath. 

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?” 

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince​ @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ @princess76179​ @anbrax5553​ @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes​ @miraclesoflove​ @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie​ @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom​ @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[buglife]

Terra Lumina

A hollow knight au guide that I keep writing in. You can read all my writings and art stuff in the #terra-lumina tag. Mostly so I can just point to this post when explaining things awee. :3 Post subject to edits and changes.

Terra Lumina is an au where both Ghost (the little knight) and Quirrel are together and are the new rulers of Hallownest. So it's a royalty au! Pretty much it's slice of life where they do their best to be a better ruler than the Pale King ever was, ruling with kindness and intelligence. Seriously, like, the Pale King could have just talked to the Radiance instead of letting things snowball like they did. They both live in the new palace which is pretty much like the White House in that it's mostly dedicated to government with an apartment for the rulers to live in. It's where the old palace used to be, but now it's much greener and 100% less buzzsaws. It is post embrace the void ending and an everyone lives/nobody dies au where the only characters that are dead are those that were found so at the start of the game. Takes place about 5-7 years after the end of the game.

The two romantic rulers.

Ghost:Now taller than Quirrel and is the Shade Lord, god of void and dreams. Sovereign of Hallownest and rightful ruler due to king's brand. Can use telepathy but only does so with family/friends, as they are nervous about scaring people so uses sign language with them. Is very happy to have family/friends and overall liked by most folks. Is still scary to some and is sad about that. Married Quirrel. Considers Mato their adoptive father and calls them such. Still enjoys fighting (but for fun now). Since dreams are now their aspect, they gather up nightmares to help the population (and gives to their adopted grimmchild, Allegro, and Grimm themselves.)

Quirrel: Now called the Scholar King, rules alongside Ghost. He still has trouble believing that this is his life. Chaotic Good. Mostly deals with the logistics in running the kingdom. Adoptive mother is Monomon who found him when he was teeny tiny. Did not attempt to drown themselves, instead isolated himself when he thought Monomon was dead so Ghost had to find him. Still fights and can practically teleport. Spends free time in the palace library where a copy of all the surviving books were moved to and is free to the public to check out and read.

Family/Friends

Hornet: Still the Princess of Deepnest and was happy to have her mother Herrah rule again. Is officially Deepnest's ambassador and works closely with her sibling to be sure things that need to get done, get done. She won't admit it but she loves spending time with her siblings. Also randomly jumps Ghost to keep them on their toes and make sure they don't lose their skill. This can happen at anytime, anyplace. Is a close ally with the Hive and is helping the new Queen get used to her role. Also demands spars with Quirrel all the time because she does like her brother and law and the fact she doesn't kill him is proof enough in her eyes.

Mato: Dadmaster. Pretty much raised Ghost in between the end of the game to present day (and did a damn good job). Still lives in the Howling Cliffs and teaches students still, especially knight candidates. Is always on hand to cause trouble if needed. Is so proud you guys can't even. Keeps his home open in case Ghost and Quirrel need to hide for a bit. Officiated Ghost and Quirrel's wedding because of course.

Hollow: Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Hollow the Kind. Still likes to help people, and after having lots of care and therapy, is now more expressive and open. Is pretty much free to do what they please, and they choose to mostly patrol the kingdom and help when needed. Is constantly sneaking frogs into the palace because Hollow loves them. Can only use telepathy with other void beings and uses sign language to communicate otherwise. Is still missing an arm but had a magical prosthetic built. Loves to be in cuddle piles.

Tiso:Big brother figure and part of the new great knights of Hallownest. He is known as Tiso the Daring. Is actually a badass Captain America type fighter, just couldn't dodge a house sized mawlek and nearly died back then. Taught Ghost all the swears and often invokes 'Big Brother Rights'. Is also Captain of the Guard and has matured a lot since the end of the game. In a relationship with Myla and Cloth.

Cloth:Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Cloth the Strong. Makes sure people behave. Has healed from her near suicidal want to join her late lover, and now has a more positive outlook on life. Tends to organize tournaments that aren't fucked up and fatal like the Coliseum. In a relationship with Tiso and Myla.

Myla:Was saved from the infection, but it left her prone to sickness and a little weaker than most bugs. Compensates for still being cherry and wonderful to be around. Actually wicked smart and has helped Ghost restart the mining industry. Enjoys going to musicals/plays in her free time. Still loves being a geologist and provided most of the geological samples in the Capital's museum. Is in a relationship with Cloth and Tiso.

Ogrim: The only surviving great knight of old Hallownest. Is part of the new knights as Ogrim the Defender. Is the leader of the new knights and is a brilliant tactician. Has moved up from the Waterways to a new home and no longer lives in exile. Likes to plan parties and is generally doing better. He deserves it.

God Tamer: Real name is Xena (I seen it used around and I like it.) Part of the new great knights of Hallownest and is known as Xena the Tamer. Still works alongside her beast, ‘Pickles’. Has an uncanny ability to befriend dangerous beasts and pacifies them. Now has a small zoo’s worth of ‘friends’ that come and go for pats and treats. Dunks on Tiso a lot. Is surprisingly a conservationist. Will beat the shit out of people without hesitation if needed. Often fights new recruits to judge areas needing improvement. Has no tolerance for idiots. Was saved from the infection, but was not infected long enough to cause long term damage.

Allegro: The Grimmchild. Has chosen female pronouns. She is now past the grub stage and has left the kingdom to travel with her father, Grimm, to learn how to take over the Troupe. Still keeps in contact with Ghost through dreams and loves Ghost very much as their ‘Ren’. Was and still is, a little shit. Ghost misses them a lot but is comforted by her visits. Ghost saves nightmares to give to her so she can get big and strong!

Grimm: Considered a friend at this point, and taught Ghost about the dream realm. Visits through dreams. Ghost saves nightmares to give to him. Often has advice when needed.

Sheo/Nailsmith: Uncles. They both run an art school with Sheo teaching fine arts and Nail(Smith) teaching forging. They also run an art gallery. Are up to cause trouble whenever needed.

Oro: Uncle. The real sour one. Teaches new recruits and tends to weed out those that can make it from ones that can’t. Pretty much a drill Sargent. Ghost pays him not only in geo, but candy. Special, custom made candy just for Oro. It’s the only way they could get him to do this job. Oro won’t admit it’s also because he loves his former pupil no sir.

Monomon: Quirrel’s adoptive mother and currently is the royal researcher. Teaches classes as well. Ghost pretty much told her to do whatever as long as it will improve the lives of bugkind and she loves them for it. Is always down to cause trouble. Chaotic Neutral. Has some type of explosive with them at any given time. Tends to ‘vanish’ people who have wrong her or her son. Embodies chaos. Craves gossip. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Herrah: Queen of Hallownest and considers Ghost one of her children. Is happy to be Queen of her own people and is making up for lost time with her daughter. Likes to meet with the Hallownest rulers for a good shit-talking session. Is made of sass. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Lurien: Watcher of the Capital. Disaster. Will stay up for days on end working on things to accidentally invent new things in the process in sleep deprived delirium. Often gets drunk or high and contemplates the universe. Has the best edibles around I tell you. Is actually good at his job, which is finding suspicious things and investigating them. Former Dreamer and woke up when Ghost took the pantheon approach to defeating the Radiance.

Lemm: Runs the Hallownest museum and works in the back where he catalogs and studies findings and doesn’t have to talk to anyone and is the happiest he could ever be.

Seer: Holy shit she is old. Still lives in the resting grounds. Ghost visits often and brings tea and snacks. Grandma energy. Is currently working with Quirrel to recount as much as she can about moth legends and society so it can be preserved forever. It’s slow going because she is old, but it’s going.

The siblings: Are now at rest.

Everything else

White Lady: Is still alive and has left the gardens. She resides in a little hidden cottage outside the palace where she grows flowers. Is often called in to overlook agriculture efforts. Has long since revoked her crown and is content with a quiet life. Is not considered a mother by Ghost, and Ghost will not forgive her for her role in things. She is okay with this and hopes to atone someday for what she did.

The Pale King: Still fucking dead. Rest in Pieces you shit.

Eternal Emilitia: Is a member of the new noble class and takes her job seriously. She mostly keeps the other nobles in line when she can and helps delegate orders to places where they need to go. It’s like herding cats but she’s getting better with it the longer she’s around. Is respected by Ghost since she knows what it’s like to hit rock bottom and is quite sensitive to the needs to the people.

Radiance: Dead. Was going mad and in pain by the time Ghost got to her. Is now at rest.

Greenpath/Queen’s Gardens:Given back to the moss-kin and Unn. Unn has started to awaken more now that the infection is over and her children are freed from it’s influence. Is considered it’s own ‘kingdom’. Is in good relations with Hallownest.

Fungal Wastes: Still thriving. A hivemind made up of everything from microscopic spores to the entire fungal waste itself. The mushroom tribe trades with Hallownest and is in good relations with them. Still considered weird to most but they are good and peaceful people.

Mantis Tribe: Is in a good relationship with Ghost, Hornet and Quirrel, and not much else. Has complete independence but was asked nicely if they could help train the most dedicated of new guards/knights. Did not pass up the opportunity to be allowed to beat the shit out of willing Hallownest citizens who wanted to train.

Deepnest: Ruled by Queen Herrah and Princess Hornet. Good relationship with Hallownest and enjoys full independence. The beasts that reside are no longer hassled by Hallownest encroachment and thus does not push back into it. Exports silk products and is now a very prosperous nation.

Dirtmouth/Crystal Peaks: Still the same, but with now more people. All our favorite Dirtmouth folks are doing well. Elderbug is delighted to have a full town to be a mayor over.

City of Tears: Now called the 'Capital'. Plants are now on the ceiling to redirect water and stop the constant rain. It's much more pleasant now.

Colosseum of Fools: Left alone mostly. Ghost cannot stop people for wanting to go there if they are of sound mind to make the decision.

The Hive: Is now ruled by the new Queen Apis. Is fully independent and enjoys a cushy trade agreement with Hallownest and the rest of the various nations. She wonders if she will ever live up to her mother, Queen Vespa, but has many friends to help her grow into the role. Hive Knight is her loyal friend.

[hatsukeii]

One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[waka-chan-out]

hello! i was just wondering how you started out your page, like any tips? I love your work so much 😤✋💕

well, first of all thank you very much! i’m surprised and flattered that you would ask me!

in all honesty, i don’t know how i got here. i feel like i blacked out at 300 followers and now i’m at 1.2k. but i can try to offer some tips! i know i looked at some tip posts when i was first starting and didn’t follow most of them, so i’ll let you know what’s been useful to me. obviously remember this is what worked for me and it may not apply to everybody. i acquired this audience completely by accident, so those that are actively working to build a page might give you different tips.

((keep in mind this all applies to fanfic blogs because that’s all i have experience in.))

things to do:

first of all, and this is pretty obvious: tag everything you think applies. it seems excessive in the moment but it’s the only reason anyone ever saw my stuff lmao. like for any specific character in my posts will have a whole slew of tags (and this is for my nsfw posts) like:

ushijima smut ushijima x reader ushiwaka smut ushiwaka x reader haikyuu smut haikyuu x reader hq smut hq x reader

going along with that, oh my god, come up with a tagging system. even if you don’t think you need to tag something, you probably do. so many headcanons of mine are lost to time simply because i never tagged them and now i have over 600 posts. i’m never finding that shit again. tag it.

make a masterlist. it helps you and your followers stay sane and organized. i made mine because someone requested it, so that was cool. but if you make one early it’ll make your life easier.

find one uniform way to structure your posts. i know everyone feels differently about this, but it really does make life so much easier. i’ve been doing my “post timeskip, obviously, content warnings, etc” thing since my very first post, and it just makes me feel more organized and consistent. everyone’s posts will look different, so just look at what your favorite blogs do and mush all that together. you’ll find what you like eventually.

be clear what kind of audience you want. this can change and evolve, but try to start off with some idea of what you want. don’t want minors on your page? write minors dni EVERYWHERE and keep up with blocking pages. a rules list helps with this, but of course people like to just not check those, so be firm when your rules are bent or broken.

post a variety of content. it’s so much easier to rack up notes on a headcanon or thirst post then it is anything else, especially the type of fics i write where it has a lot of banter and build up before anything else.

it pays off to have a gimmick! i acquired the most followers from my 300 follower event and that’s been so nice.

this isn’t necessarily a “blog” tip, but oh my god, learn how to structure writing. i cannot tell you how off putting it is to try to read fics when paragraph breaks are used awkwardly or there are two people speaking in one paragraph. you don’t have to be a perfect writer to write fanfiction, but please at least learn the rules of writing. if you need help, ask. google things. i’m an english major that wants to write and edit for a living and i still look shit up all the time.

write what you like. you’ll find an audience. you don’t have to cater to anyone else’s tastes or preferences. one of my first few posts was a request, and that was only after i had posted one or two things. people will find you, and it will be people that also like what you like. don’t make yourself uncomfortable just to cater to someone else’s preferences.

be patient. you won’t get followers overnight. some blogs grow quickly and others don’t. that’s just how it is. also don’t be too demanding with your followers. don’t get pouty when people don’t interact, don’t be demanding about requests. just realize that you’re a person and so are they. they aren’t obligated to read just like you aren’t obligated to write. relax and realize it’s just a blog. you’ll be fine.

edit: I ALMOST FORGOT !! be inclusive. holy shit. so many people will read your writing and though you shouldn’t write anything you’re uncomfortable with, it’s so easy to be inclusive. there are tips all over the place, but all you need to do is focus on the personality of the reader rather than their appearance. easy. i’m lucky enough to have a pretty diverse audience and it makes me so happy i could cry. i love knowing that people feel safe and included here.

what i haven’t found necessary:

making a tag list. i only made one recently, and even then i only have nine people on it. it’s not that necessary, unless you have a series that people want to see.

having a theme. seriously, don’t stress. even now i barely have a theme. it’s never been hard on me.

plugging your blog?? i don’t know if people actually do this but i saw a suggestion about it and it confused me to no end. i’ve never found that necessary, though it is nice having mutuals that reblog your stuff. still not totally necessary though. my only mutual was @tanzaniiite for the longest time and that’s literally just because i saw her follow me, saw that she was a writer, stalked her posts, and decided i wanted to follow her back. she was my 34th follower (yes i counted) and she’s still here. very much appreciated.

doing collabs. i didn’t even consider doing one until recently. they’re really not necessary.

self reblogs. another one that i think might help but isn’t necessary. i didn’t start doing these until i had acquired a larger audience. figure out what works for you, but i’ve unfollowed more than one blog just because of the sheer amount of self reblogs they do. i understand that they’re proud of their work and want it out there, but i just think there’s no way reblogging a new post every hour is necessary. obviously if you want to reblog your own content you can. but having a masterlist had made that unnecessary for me. one of my first posts had like 100 notes after it was first posted, and now it’s up to 600 when it hasn’t been on people’s pages in months. people will find your work if they want to find it.

obviously all of this is just my opinion and you should take it with a grain of salt. i started this blog randomly to post one tsukishima fic i had written for someone that i was told was good enough to post. i haven’t changed my writing structure or process since then, and i still have no god damn clue how tumblr works. it’s a lot less intimidating than it seems. i know it’s a different experience for everyone, but it’s an overwhelmingly loving community that is kind to new writers. i was lucky enough to grow fast and receive a lot of kindness, but that’s also because i put a crazy amount of effort into being kind back and posting consistently (and no one needs to be going at the pace i set towards the beginning of this blog. holy shit i was posting like every other day for a while.)

if you do decide to commit to trying to build an audience, let me know and i’d love to follow you! and if you’ll be writing (which i hope so because most of these tips are for fanfic blogs lmao) i’m always here to help with structure, beta reading, editing, etc. that’s literally what i want to do as a career so it’s never a burden on me. either way, good luck! it’s frustrating sometimes but if you have solid ideas and basic writing abilities you’ll be fine!

again, thank you so much and i’m so flattered you asked me 💞 i hope you have a lovely day darling.

[writeiolite]

hi io! i just the saw the your answer that you read smuts rn 👀👀 do you have any recommendations for those us to read if you're comfortable with it? thank you :)

hi ye ofc! ^^ i read a lot of bnha darker themed stuff so heed the warnings ofc! also i rly prefer to read on ao3 since it’s easier to find stuff so all the links are my bookmarks from there. feel free to tag the authors if they have a tumblr bc i would love to support them there to!

you can find my tumblr recs (though it’s sparse) at @readiolite!

The Fic that made me cry and go numb and it soon became my comfort fic to read every night and write essay reviews about...!

one of the first fics i enjoyed on ao3 aka when i realized i would never read light smut again

one day, someone asked me “what do you think about @kazooli?” and i thought kazooli was a type of pasta . . . but apparently i bookmarked this before that without knowing i enjoyed a fic from A Noodle.

literally do not talk to me about anything else except @tainted-wine‘s hawks stories. there is a whole masterlist just for hawks, but i first found their writing through here and when i tell u..... i was changed... i read this probably 3-4 times and picked it apart to figure out why i liked it so much bc it’s so good and inspiring djfghkjs

im now realizing none of these are haikyuu. that’s fine. here’s something i read last night that gave me good memories :3

BRO HOLY FUCK OMG EVERYTHING BY JUPITERSWITCH ON AO3... I LITERALLY BINGE READ FOR A DAY OR TWO WHEWWWW but specifically this toshi fic bc im a sucker for somno and pet stuff always reminds me of the bts fic days, this brobaku fic bc i already know im going to hell so i might as well read smth nice, and my BIGGEST fav!!!!!

ok wait no... now im going to hell

i cannot fucking tell u how many time i read this... i’ve picked it apart 32948 times and just read it over and over bc it’s so good despite feeling so short wowowowoow... good things never last </#

this was it. this fic absolutely changed me. i jumped on the natsunii train so fast bc of @natsuosfairy​ and just.. wow. another fic i reread often bc of the inner turmoil and tug-o-war and just FUCKIN WOW i cannot believe im blessed with this.

hmmmmm..... don’t ask how i got here. i can’t tell u. i don’t even know myself

where is it holy fuck where is the hawks fic with the phone call what the fuck whㄷㄱㄸㄷㄱㄷㄱㄷ

this has stuck with me. i don’t even have to reread it bc i have this shit memorized

reading “wanted” altered my life so bad i fell down a horribly long rabbit hole and passed by this

my bookmark note on this is “why do i think about this often” and i still don’t have an answer but ig that means @ratmonky​ is doing smth right

i cannot speak after this. this was so immersive and the imagery was out of this world. sometimes i think it actually happened — that’s how good this was

there is an aizawa smut... im so mad i can’t find it but i think it’s on ao3? werewolf au, yandere aizawa, y/n goes into heat and to make her get close to him, he helps her with her heats a few times but the current heat he doesn’t until she’s willing to come out of her room and be with him. if i find it i’ll edit this! if someone else knows what im talking abt pls send///// no jk i found it. ofc it’s jupiterswitch; i have a type.

i found a haikyuu bookmark????

hi yes here is the hawks phone call fic. i will say nothing else. just know that this is totally canon and once u read this (and wine’s fic) u will never think of hawks the same

and again, u can find a few more on @readiolite !! i have more bookmarked but this is getting longgggg

[bokutoisbestowl]

Serendipitous!Y/n and Bokuto

Okay okay okay, so when baby Y/n was born Bokuto was starstruck

this thing was his sister

and it was so

s m a l l

how was that even pOSSIBLE!??

Super protective brother (did that even need to be said?)

is also super clingy, kinda like how is with Akaashi but slightly worse?? 

When they were kids, momma Bokuto couldn’t put baby Y/n down for a nap without Kou joining her and when Kou stopped taking his naps boi cried because one: why in the fuck does Y/n still get naps and I don’t that's RUDE and two SHE’S ALONE and PRECIOUS and needs PROTECTING

honestly their mom deserves a break holy shit (you just know she had that one glass of wine a day to help destress

Whenever bby girl got a new toy, Bokuto is there interrogating it like

“Okay Mr Owl. If that is your rEAL nAME!”

has all her teddy’s standing in a kline whilst he marches up and down

“Now you listen here! you gotta protect my little sister!!”

honestly he is the cutest little shit

 when they grew up he was really hesitant to let her play volleyball with him on account of his strong arm and this only got worse when she joined Fukurodani

Her and Akaashi were instant friends, they had to be since wherever Bokuto goes, Y/n followed.

with his help, y/n managed to convince Bokuto to let Y/n join the team as a manager

Unlike Doodles!Kuroo!Y/n, Serendipitous!Bokuto!Y/n didn’t have any first year friends or really hang out with anyone outside of the team.

Even then she was only really acquaintances and this was simply because she is a bokuto and therefore clingy af

she’s chill with it tho she knows people in her class and hangs out with Akaashi and her brother during breaks and after school

she’s kinda intelligent but can struggle with things

slightly more competent that her brother hence why she becomes his PA.

y/n is tasked with looking after Bokuto at the training camps, she was there when Bokuto and Kuroo blasted Tsukishima and trained him

(she apologised to Daichi with Kuroo and suddenly the Karasuno third years had a third fav girl)

so when shes not helping her brother with volleyball, bby is rescuing birds

has fostered around 10 baby owlets that were born in a tree in a nearby park which kept getting the attention of cats (homegirl really felt some type of way towards nekoma after this)

has several veterinary books in her room (specifically about birds and birds of prey)

her and bokuto are said to be similar to owls (she got them golden eyes) and lowkey took after her brother when it comes to behaviourisms

she legit photoshopped his face onto an owl and has it as her phone background

her hobby is lowkey dangerous and she comes home with scratches all the time

“ion know why you do this y/n. you gunna get tetris or smth”

“Kou, they are my Children- wait did you say tetris?”

“you know that dirty one”

“the dirty one”

“yeah yeah the dirty one!!”

“bro tetris is a game. you mean Tetanus.”

“Pft yeah right, you just wanted an excuse to say anus”

“... what?”

this is another reason why Bo is knowledgeable about first aid (he’s sporty he knows some basics about first aid)

he took a genuine course on that shit 

they study in each others rooms when it comes to home work

if any of the team came round then they’d find bo at his desk and Y/n led on either the bed or the floor, kicking her feet in the air and trying to solve a problem

they have also found them both with headbands, face masks, dressing gowns and trashy magazines

legit spa days (akaashi gets dragged to them)

they do have their moments

they have been doing dares since they were 10, playing games such as odds on and just plain old dares

so bokuto once did “odds on you acting like a cat for the day?” when he was bored

y/n weighed her options and stated out of 5

oh baby, oh sweetie, oh hunny

no

she lost and Bo was feeling evil that day

had a laser pointed it and pointed it to the wall, making her having to chase it

he pointed it to the other side of the wall and baby FLUNG herself

she hit that wall with a SmAcC

Bokuto pissed himself laughing and was so glad he caught it

y/n dared him to google “a will to live” and the shopping tag showed up

“OM GET IN LOSER WE’RE GOING SHOPPING”

Bokuto is legit running to his car

speaking off

they sneak out the house for sibling trips to mcdonalds

“ay.... ay y/n”

“kou… it’s 3 AM why are you in my room?”

“..... you want a 20 piece?”

“....”

“....”

“.... I want that sweet and sour too”

“okay boo boo you do you”

they will rein act tiktoks and vines

“THIS BITCH EMPTY. YEET”

Proceeds to yeet it at poor Bokuto’s head

“GODDAMIT Y/N”

poor babies hit their heads on EVERYTHING

they loose braincells each time

the team have a compilations and have edited it to the sound of the Nintendo wii music

it was sent to the black jackels and it’s TsumTsums ringtone for Y/n

he laughs everytime

y/n followed Kou when he went to the black jackels, and a few weeks later - realising his sister couldn’t really look after herself properly and was struggling to find a job, made her his personal assistant

that way they spend time together AND she gets paid

Kou wants nothing more than for y/n to go to a veterinary school and become a vet/bird rescuer like she’s always wanted but is happy to know that she’s somewhat satisfied with her life right now

y/n wants nothing more than to support her brother - her rescuing days aren’t over, she just doesn’t know the right spots to be looking for lost/injured birdies

she plans to renovate the spare room in her apartment into some sort of office space

for now the siblings are happy as they are and sibling spa night is a weekly occurrence

○○○○

Feedback is ALWAYS welcome! I hope you guys enjoy these hcs, Bokuto is truly the best brother - just wanting the best for his baby sister. 

REQUESTS ARE OPEN: 4 IN PROGRESS

MASTERLIST IS OPEN (Plenty of space left)

TAGLIST: Open (Shoot an ask if you'd like to be added!!)

@pleasemelafook-outta-ere @pattys-got-cakes @yougivemebutterfliess @dadchi-oya @ly-nia @cuddlesslut @yakus-yakult @satomiis @angelmingyu @toaster-stick @reinyrei @bokutosphatass @lilacshouko @simpywara @heheheh2547

[sinkix]

《What your fav Haikyuu!! Character says about you│Nekoma Edition》

Yo-hoo! Here’s another part to this potential(?) series! I hope you enjoy the possible call-outs in some of these lmao. Writers block been kicking my ass recently but I had a lot of fun writing these. Enjoy <3

You can find the Karasuno ver. here 

✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧ ✧✧✧✧✧

Kuroo:

Have a hand fetish and will not say no to choking.

Daddy kink™

Will not accept anything below 6 inches.

More of a dog person but would love to own a black cat.

You drool over tattoos.

Your grades are mostly B’s but you know in your heart you deserve that A, and tbh you probably do. Chase ur goals bby.

Halloween is likely your favourite holiday.

You have to resist not to carve a dick into the pumpkin EvEry GodDAmN YeAr.

You either study for 6 hours consecutively or cannot study at all and you get very frustrated at this.

Have the potential to be a good leader and command the room but probably don’t put it to use as much as you should.

Your playlist parkours from sad 3am crying into your pillow songs to aggressive punk music you could rob a store to.

You like bad boys who hang around bars and look like they would put out a cigarette on your forearm and call you a slut. Just stating facts sweaty xoxo.

Either dress very feminine and girly with a ‘smol girl uwu’ aesthetic or a hardass punk who would kick your ass for a can of beer no in between and tbh both are equally hot.

You’re a big softie at heart either way and just want to be held and told everything will be okay.

Ur a hoe for when people stroke your hair or caress your chin it’s your ultimate weakness.

Watched Rick & Morty.

Twice.

Sleeves rolled up veiny forearms and donning a silver watch are your muse and something you fantasise about frequently.

Most of your memes are shitty top text bottom texts that are somehow funny and I don’t understand why lmao.

You call someone ‘bro’ even if it’s someone you’re immensely attracted to.

Did someone say ties? No it’s just ur dirty ass thoughts thinking about that hot business dudes attire from across the street and how you wish they were tied around ur wrists.

Probably had a crush on Jeff the Killer as a tween and are relentlessly haunted by your old Wattpad library. 

Tbh any dark-haired dude with bedhead that screams rugged and probably not good for you is something that draws you like a moth to a flame.

You often question why every person you’ve fallen for has been a Scorpio and curse that tendency of yours.

Dw man they’re hot so I feel u.

Kenma:

Went through a ‘I’m not like other __’ phase and it’s something that you think about a lot and wish you didn’t.

Watched dan & phil as a kid.

Any mention of Pokemon has you turning into a rabid beast you get way too excited.

It’s cute though dw bby.

Pretty antisocial but interesting to talk to.

Your family often question how you’re able to sleep in till 3pm and judge you heavily for it.

Nocturnal night owl gang rise up.

Frequently have bags under your eyes but somehow manage to pull it off.

Listen to ASMR on the down-low and will never admit it to a single soul.

Frequently go on BL binges and have many related book marks.

You pray that someone will never find your laptop bc holy fuck the amount of smut on that.

You wear scarves & beanies even when it isn’t that cold outside.

100% went through a scene hair phase/attempted to.

You dye your hair a lot or REALLY want to.

You have a voice kink low-key so anyone with a pleasant/soothing sounding voice just gets u goin’.

Cats are your favourite animal and you either do or want to own several.

Would name them after video game/anime characters u fuckin nerd lol.

Speaking of cats ,you fantasise heavily about cat-boys and have a folder dedicated to them.

Oversized hoodies are your vibe and always ball the sleeve hems in your fist as a comfort mechanism.

Shopping centres are your worst nightmare and trigger your claustrophobia or social anxiety and honestly I feel that spiritually.

Have a cute sticky note collection.

You like a lot of music consisting of guitar and slow/soothing beats.

You also fw EDM/ techno on occasions.

Honestly wouldn’t wanna anger you since you have a seething temper when pushed far enough.

It’s the kinda temper that’s eerily quiet but no less terrifying, like the other person can tell you are graphically plotting their demise.

You love sleeping to the sound of rainfall and often play those nature ambience videos while you sleep.

Never tidy your sheets and it’s just a big scrunched up heap of fabric in the centre of your mattress most of the time.

Make your fucking bed.

Lev:

Your ships are chaotic and shamelessly controversial.

Would do something just for the sake of creating mayhem lmao.

You were the fucker who stuck their chewing gum under the desk, I see you.

Your brain never stops whirring it’s a constant hurricane of crackhead energy and you have no idea how to turn it off. 

Would eat a stick of pencil lead for $2

You don’t help your situation with the amount of coffee/energy drinks you consume.

The class clown who cries themselves to sleep.

Such a wholesome dumbass but somehow kinda intimidating??? 

Even if you’re not confident you can do something you’ll try anyway and honestly I respect that about you.

You !! use!!! a lot??!! of!! random punctuation!!! so you always??!?!? seem!!111!! excited!!!!!11!?

Every time you’ve ever tried to make a sandcastle it has failed.

You tried to eat the sand once but we don’t talk bout that.

You would  also pick up slugs and snails and chase your friends around with them.

Can never tell whether people are laughing with you or at you and while you don’t let it show it high-key bothers you when you’re laying alone in your room at night.

Not one to hold grudges, you carry a ‘shit happens’ mentality which is v good but it sometimes leads to people taking advantage of it or walking all over you.

Your meme collection is both questionable and horrifying.

Like how many cursed images and heavily distorted pictures does one person need.

Never organise the files on your PC/laptop so it looks like a complete dumpster fire.

The one at sleepovers who persistently woke everyone else up with their snickering and refusal to sleep till dawn.

For the love of Asahi charge your damn phone.

I see that red bar and ‘12%’

Charge it now.

Bought a plant one time, gave it a name and talked to it frequently.

It died not long after bc u forgot to fucking water it.

No one better ever make you responsible for a pet.

Type of person that when someone asks you to tag along on an endeavour no matter how stupid it is you will agree.

2am skydiving in france? hell yeah.

Midnight shopping spree and spending over half your pay check? count you in.

Exploring an abandoned hospital and performing an Ouija board to summon the demons of hell? you’re damn right you’ll be there.

I hope you have a mum friend by your side bc if not how are you still alive.

You sometimes put the milk in before the cereal and it’s something I’ll never forgive you for.

Yaku:

Very responsible and usually make the right decisions.

You do have moments where you act like a complete dumbass though.

Like u go from 50 year old to 5 year old in the blink of an eye.

A hopeless romantic but it’s a side you don’t often reveal.

Prefer strawberry milk over any other flavour.

You’re the type of person to shower twice a day w/o fail.

Where that stank smell coming from? Not you clearly bc your skin is basically 90% The Body Shop’s rose scented soap at this point.

You get stomach aches a lot and you can’t figure out why.

Probably an allergy to everyone’s bs.

Really good at dirty talk even though you don’t seem the type so people are always taken aback.

You have to be really in the mood though otherwise it falls flatter than Oikawa’s ass, use your skill wisely.

You often call people clowns when you know you’re secretly the biggest one going.

Honk honk, hoe.

You send messages in one paragraph rather than multiple texts unless you are REALLY excited.

People underestimate you at times then are shocked when they realise you are capable of being a fire-breathing dragon from the flaming pits of hell.

You like spicy chicken wings.

Such a petty little shit at times lmao.

Enjoy the view from the top of mountains so you either hike a lot or really want to.

Way more of a cat person since it’s just much more convenient for you.

Usually pretty cheerful or calm and people are drawn to your stable/friendly aura.

Went through a phase of drinking mountain dew and your body still feels the awful effects

Fav element is probably air.

You’re 5′6″ or shorter.

Box dyed your hair brunette several times and can never get the pigment out to this day.

Yamamoto:

Whenever you smell something weird in the room you always internally freak out and think it’s you.

Head-butting walls is your hobby.

You fell off your bike as a kid and still have the scar on your knee.

Probably have tons of ear piercings.

Would tame a pigeon and call it Larry.

You get frequent nosebleeds and can never tell if it’s a medical issue or your extreme simping for fictional men/women.

Hopefully the latter.

You constantly chew your pen/pencil in class so you never lend them to anyone out of embarrassment.

I really hope no one ever lends you stationery bc 30 minutes later it’ll look like it was mauled by a rabid rottweiler.

You really want to own a dog and would call it something intimidating like Banshee or Diablo.

You bleached your hair that one time and it almost fell out so now you’re forced to stay at least 10 metres away from all at-home hair dye products.

You tried your best though bby so A for effort, even if it did look like dehydrated ramen afterwards.

Your grades are mostly C’s and you’re barely passing bc you just don’t care about your classes lol.

Still though you’re actually pretty smart so put it to good use you lazy oaf, channel that crackhead energy into something good.

Your phone screen has several cracks in it from when you dropped it on the bathroom floor while shitting and you’ll always be angry at yourself for that.

You have some really weird quirks but you make it work.

Actually a v chill person but you just kinda attract chaos/trouble wherever you go.

Carry a lighter with you even when you don’t need one.

Shy texter but once people see you irl you are the complete opposite, you just dk how to text without coming across as awkward.

One of those people that’s unintentionally funny and always get confused when you make someone laugh but it makes you feel good regardless.

Have a cool necklace collection and own at least one dog-tag/army style pendant.

Should really consider buying a rabbit you would look so cute w/ one.

You have really nice legs and people should compliment them more.

Either severely dehydrated or overly hydrated to the point you are peeing pure tap water so for the love of god please learn moderation, your kidneys and bladder will thank you for it.

Inuoka:

Your favourite character would be Hinata but you like people taller than you so your love for Inuoka spawned.

You really enjoy using the double spiderman meme.

Cannot correctly verbalise your feelings without creating a minimum of 10 misunderstandings but once people are used to it it’s kinda endearing.

You usually wake up in a good mood and people can never fathom how or why.

You either stay up till 5am or you wake up at that time no in between.

A morning person bc you love the sunrise.

Change your lock-screen very regularly bc you get bored.

Your humour consists solely of poop jokes.

When you don’t understand a joke you laugh anyway and hope they don’t ask you if you actually get it.

Happened once and you’re still traumatised from the cricket silence that fell upon the room.

Really like the taste of lemonade and drink it more often than you should.

Often think about what you would look like with a shaved head.

More of an extrovert but def have occasional introvert tendencies where you wanna be left tf alone.

Never allowed to pick up anything in stores bc the last time you did you sniffed a scented candle and it shattered to the floor.

Constantly have spontaneous ideas of what to change about your appearance.

You use a lot of hand gestures like thumbs up and peace signs.

‘Dude’ and ‘lmao’ is 90% of your vernacular.

Your nails are a disaster, some are down to the nub while others are pretty grown out bc you only bite a select few please sort it out.

Look really good in red.

Your laptop has way too many tabs open from random google searches of words you didn’t know the meaning to.

You read a lot of books but for like 10 minutes at a time bc you have the attention span of a walnut.

You are the type of person to nuke your AO3 tags with things that aren’t even relevant purely bc you found them funny.

Your Tumblr drafts are a nightmare, you have like 100+ in the works yet keep starting new projects why do you do this.

Happy sunshine but you have a LOT of mood swings like that shit comes out of nowhere.

Cry pretty often but no one ever sees and it’s usually because of said mood swings.

You always smile and pick yourself up again though which I commend you for.

TYPES IN CAPITALS IN SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT REQUIRE SAID PUNCTUATION SO YOU SEEM LIKE YOU’RE YELLING ALL THE TIME.

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

[rebelwith0utacause]

It’s 2 am, but it’s a music tag, so I’m doing it. Thanks @5sosofficial, sleep can wait ✌😌✌ 

Edit: it’s 4 am, and I’m a long-winded bitch, so everything goes under the line.

Right, so, first order of business, 20 songs on shuffle:

5SOS - Talk Fast

The Band CAMINO - Berenstein

Phillip Phillips - Miles

Nao - Bad Blood

You Me @ Six - Liquid Confidence (Nothing To Lose)

Yves Tumor - Noid

Patric Fiori - Que Tu Reviennes

Bigflo & Oli - Dommage

Dido - Hunter

Anarbor - Tasty

5SOS - Empty Wallets

TOOL - Vicarious

Roseburg, Kellin Quinn - RIP

Jack’s Mannequin - Dark Blue

While She Sleeps - I’VE SEEN IT ALL

OK Go - Another Set Of Issues

Galantis - Runaway (U & I)

Zayn - BoRdErSz

While She Sleeps - GATES OF PARADISE

Julie Zenatti - Si Je M’en Sors

10 songs I’ve been listening to in no particular order:

Architects - Gone With The Wind

X Ambasadors - Unconsolable

Onlychild - Teeth

Bring Me The Horizon - Teardrops

While She Sleeps - FAKERS PLAGUE

5SOS - Thin White Lies

Architects - Animals

ASL - Voodoo

Ina Wroldsen - Sea

Normandie - Holy Water

10 albums that influenced my taste and made me a music snob (with commentary):

1. Linkin Park - Meteora

I think I’ve already talked about this, but I was in my early teens when this album came out, and I had a classmate that liked rock(ish music) so I went to the local CD shop that sold burned CDs (we won’t talk about it, 90s and 00s Macedonia was in a different century than the rest of the world) and asked for something cool and rock, and they gave me this CD. Now, like the nosy music nerd I was, I decided to play it once before I gave him the CD. Long story short, loved it so much, ended up buying him a picture frame and keeping the CD for myself. The angst in Chester’s voice and the tiny electronic twists together with the dark tunes made my teenage years (and still do) bearable.

2. Kyo - Le Chemin

I was maybe 9 when I first heard these guys on TV and fell in love with the guy in the red shirt. This was around the time I started understanding a bit of French and it certainly helped when a few years later I found a copy of this baby in our local French Institute. I’ve been listening to a lot of French music throughout the years, but nothing compares to this album. It made me understand emotions in French if that makes sense. There’s always a dark undertone to every song and I love how Ben’s able to infuse his voice with enough desperation/anguish/urgency while still talking about love.

3. Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane

Early teens again, on a vacation in Montenegro, bought it from a shop right off the beach lmao. The cover looked dope, and it was 2 euros. Mainly bought it because I loved that there was Jane in the title, a male name in Macedonian, also the name of the guy I had a crush on. When I went back to camp, he played it for me and he liked it as well (he was an employee there and a biiiiiiiit older than me). Little did I know that the syncopation, the embellishments and the raw energy Adam sang with in (only) this album was gonna make me compare every pop album to this one for years to come. This is like IT for me when it comes to pop music, even if it’s not entirely pop.

4. Six Pack - Minut Cutanja

I was 13, my brother wasn’t at home, so I decided to raid his computer for music. “Borrowed” a lot of punk music and this album which was titled just Six Pack. I didn’t really listen to Serbian music (tbh, I turned my nose at it bcs I thought it was something older people did, or ppl with no taste), let’s just say that living in a post-Yugoslavia world as a kid was fkn weird (@httpsgfg might agree). But there’s this song called 2 Minuta Straha (2 Minutes of Fear) which served as a soft transition to punk (punk-rock) for me, and consequently heavier rock and metal. Like, it’s such a great album, and made me open to finding other ex-Yu bands that sounded modern before their time.

5. Opeth - Blackwater Park

It was late 2007 and I made my first friend in high school (other than the ppl I already knew). She was this goth type that had a brother in a band and she listened to a lot of the music he listened to. Long story short, she showed me Bleak and that was IT for me. Loved the oriental vibes, the distorted guitars and the growls so fkn much. To this day I’m a growl > scream girl, and Mikael Akerfeldt’s to blame. Like... his growl is so smooth and homogenous, I love it, and wait until you hear his clean vocals. Top that all off with the jazzy solos and acoustic-sounding guitars, just makes it all so perfect damn it!

6. Avenged Sevenfold - Avenged Sevenfold

2007-2009 was definitely my a7x moment. I started my journey with Waking The Fallen, but The White Album (self-titled) was the pivotal one for me. There’s just something about the complexity of the composition, like the drums are fkn vicious, the guitars are more technical but also more melodic and the lyrics are liakfjndjflsdkjn! It’s also the album The Rev wrote some of my all-time faves like Brompton Cocktail, Afterlife and Almost Easy, and in hindsight... no, don’t want to think about it. But yeah, it set the bar for modern metal music for me.

7. Queensryche - Operation Mindcrime

Now, where do I fkn start with this one. Found it in 2009 or 2010, the peak of my prog metal days and I was just blown away that someone thought to create banger sonics with a banger backstory. Queensryche (at least those bandmembers back then) were absolutely genius in their craft, and I’m just sad they never got to make another album similar in quality.

8. Alice In Chains - Dirt

Back in the day, I really hated grunge, and if I’m being honest, I still hate Nirvana with a passion, hated the fact that musically they weren’t the best but got so famous post-mortem. I mean it’s not their fault, it’s their fans’ fault for being such dicks lbr. But in 2010 I bit the bullet and played me some AIC. I was trying to broaden my horizons so to speak, and grunge was next in line. Layne’s vocals had me hook, line and sinker. I’ve been a fan ever since and I even gave Soundgarden and Pearl Jam a chance.

9. The Police - Synchronicity

My mom’s to blame for this, she’s always liked them, and I used to listen to a lot of ska-influenced music as a kid (I still love it today). I think Synchronicity was the peak of their musicianship as a band and it’s just such an evergreen album. Like... It doesn’t sound like something produced in 1983, yknow? Sting is a mf genius.

10. Ludovico Einaudi - Divenire

The beginning of the last decade was a weird time for me music-wise. I think I wanted to make myself appear more grown-up in the eyes of ppl, and I got a lot of shit for listening to metal. So I went in all sorts of directions, from grunge, to pop-rock (ATL, Paramore that kinda thing), post-rock radio hits and even a bit of minimalist classical music and instrumentals. I used to play classical guitar, so this wasn’t really anything new, but the minimalist subgenre definitely was. I think I could classify my taste as sounding modern/timeless, I really don’t like music that’s stuck in a certain decade, and this album, or more like the song Divenire because that’s the one I’ve played the most, is exactly it. I could be 80 and still listening to this, thinking it just got released. This man is a genius.

Alright, almost 2 hrs after I first started writing this, I’m tagging: @tigerteeff @pxrxmoore @karajaynetoday @wheniminouterspace @httpsgfg or anyone who wants to do it. I guess I missed a few albums, but it is what it is.

xx

[something-tofightfor]

Ink V

Pairing: Logan Delos x Reader

Word Count: 7033

Rating: M (language, talk of drug use, multiple partners, implied nudity, Logan being Logan)

Author’s Note: This part. THIS PART. T. H. I. S. P. A. R. T. I overindulged myself but I don’t think that any of you will mind. 

Summary: You and Logan have made some progress when it comes to where you stand, but there’s always room for improvement. Also... what is this mysterious appointment you’re meeting him for? 

As always, feel free to ask to be added or removed to this tag list. No hard feelings.

General:

@the-blind-assassin-12​​ @its-my-little-dumpster-fire​​ @obscurilicious​​ @sweetybuzz25​​ @suchatinyinfinity​​ @lexxierave​​ @gollyderek​​ @poindexted​ @ificouldhelpyouforget​​ @elanor-of-imladris​​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​​ @luminex3​​ @geeksareunique​​ @weallhaveadestiny​​ @mfackenthal​​ @thesumofmychoices​​ @yannii04​​ @beautiful-thinking​​ @drinix​​ @agentlingerie​​  @blah-blah-fuckit-shit​​  @dreams-with-thoughts​​  @wangmangagavroche​​ @traeumerinwitzhelden​​ @jigsawlover10​​ @malionnes​​​

Logan Delos:

@nananananananananananabatman​​​ @damalseer​​​ @chibiyanai​​​ @life-is-a-melody​​​ @songtoyou​​​

Uncategorized:

@banditthewriter​​ @padfootagain​​ @madamrogers​​ @ethereal-heavcns​​ @editboutique​​ @marauderskeeper​​ @ilkaeliseb​​ @delicatelilyflower​​ @king4thesirens​​ @ymariejp​​ @mr-robot-x​​ @rageshots​​ @introvertedlibrary​​ @writing-for-a-chance​​ @yesixoxo @ilikebeachessushiandsmallanimals​​ @likeorions​​ @swiftyhowlz​​ @dylanobrusso​​ @malik-payne​​ @lynne1993​​ @ladyblablabla​​ @dreamwritesimagines​​​ @audreychaz​​​ @tc-elliot @kind-wolf​​​ @honeyydippaa​​​ @binbonsadoration​​​ @ms-delos​​​ @jeanettexkillian​​​ @avengerswhore @elioelioeli0​​​ @projectcampbell​​​ @giggleberts​​​ @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes

You left Logan’s around noon the next day, bag slung over one shoulder and his voice calling after you as you walked down the driveway. “Tell me when you make it home.” Assuring him that you would, you climbed into the front seat of your car, waving with one hand when you turned around to pull toward the street. He smiled back at you, raising a hand and winking. Logan Delos, winking at me as I leave his house? What? 

 The drive home passed quickly - for whatever reason, there was little traffic as you drove north toward Woodland Hills and your apartment - but you were entirely focused on the previous day and night, and on what it meant. You and Logan had fallen asleep soon after he’d called you his opportunity for a new start, and you hadn’t talked about it again that morning. We didn’t really talk about much, actually. Though the memories of the morning were still fresh in your mind - Logan’s hands on you, the way you’d woken up to the feeling of his lips on your skin, a whispered “mornin’” bringing you fully conscious - you were confused, to say the least. 

 It seemed that Logan Delos wanted to be with you, in a committed relationship. There was still no title, still no confirmation of that fact, aside from what he’d said to you and you back to him, but you were hopeful that you’d get clarification the next time you saw him - and if not then, then the next time you saw each other outside of work. He told you you had the right to… so… With a sigh, you pulled into your parking spot, lowering your head to the steering wheel for long moments and taking a few deep breaths. “Am I dating Logan Delos?” Speaking the words out loud didn’t make them seem any more real, but the buzzing of your phone was, and you fished it out of your purse only to see a message from Logan waiting. You make it home yet? With a laugh, you typed out a quick response, attaching a picture of yourself with your building in the background. 

 Just pulled in. Calm down. 

 He didn’t reply right away, and so you exited the car, grabbing your bag and making your way inside. Nothing’s changed. Don’t let it. You’d showered with Logan at his place, his hands making quick work of you - both covering you in body wash and shampoo and rinsing it off - and so you had the entire day to yourself to relax, the sliding door open and a breeze blowing in on you as you lounged on your couch with Netflix. Logan texted you back and forth throughout the day, linking you to pictures that had been professionally taken by the event photographer on the yacht and making it a point to let you know which one of the two of you he liked best. 

 You should post it. The short message stopped you in your tracks, a fork poised halfway between your bowl and mouth, phone held tightly in the other hand. Post it? Like on my… Or I will. Heart thudding, you closed your eyes. It as a good picture, you had to admit. The photographer had captured you and Logan standing at the railing of the upper level of the yacht, one of his arms around your lower back, your body angled toward him and both of you smiling. He was looking at you like there weren’t any other people on the boat, and the look in your eyes was unmistakable. And he wants to… 

 Your eyes widened as you realized what it meant, and you set the fork back down in your bowl, using both hands to hold your phone. He meant it. Swallowing, you shook your head, typing. Dare you.  He won’t. He just wants to see what I say. 

 Leaving your phone on the counter, you went back to your dinner, but before you’d eaten more than a few bites, your screen lit up with an Instagram alert. Shit. Food forgotten, you unlocked the device with your thumb, opening the app to the image - posted on his page - with you tagged. There wasn’t a caption, but there didn’t need to be, because you were the first woman that wasn’t Juliet that had been posted on Logan’s feed in more than two years - since before he’d come back from Westworld on that trip with William - and that said everything. Thumb hovering over the like button, you took a deep breath and tapped it. “Oh, holy shit.” You knew he’d get the alert to his phone - he followed you back, and had it set so that only alerts from his friends showed up, but instead of responding to him via text, you just turned the ringer off and flipped your phone over, hiding the screen. I’ll deal with it later. Much later. 

 --- 

 The next morning as you drove to work, you didn’t know what to expect. Sure, you were prepared for the looks from your coworkers, the eye rolling  and whispers from some of the people you passed in the hallway, but you didn’t know what it would feel like now that there had been a public declaration from Logan that you were different than the others in the past had been. What you weren’t expecting was for Logan to be perched on the corner of your desk, legs crossed at the ankle and talking animatedly with Alexi, your supervisor. You cleared your throat and the older man glanced at you, reached out to shake Logan’s hand and turned to leave your office, giving you a grin on the way out. Interesting. “Brought you breakfast, I don’t have a meeting ‘til 9, and figured we’d eat before I have to head up.” 

 Logan’s office was floors above yours, up with all of the other executives, and while you’d never been up to see it, he’d been in yours a few times for various reasons. “Thanks, Logan.” You smiled and went to walk by him and to your chair, but his hand shot out, fingers closing around your wrist. “Oh! What…”

 “Not even gonna say good morning?” He pulled you closer, leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. “Or ask me how -” Throwing caution - and all common sense - out the window, you turned your head and cut him off, kissing Logan good morning. You held yourself back from reaching up to put your hand against the back of his neck, but couldn’t resist nipping at his lower lip when you pulled away, your nose wrinkling. 

 “Good morning, Logan.” He laughed, the sound ringing off of the walls of your office and let your wrist go as you moved to sit down. When you were settled across from each other, he pushed a cardboard container across the table at, you, eyes bright. 

 “It is now.” The two of you ate while talking, and since you were facing the door, you watched as people walked by, glancing into your office and doing a double take or simply stopping to stare. I should have known. He watched as your expression changed, frowning a few times, and as he checked his watch, Logan reached over your desk to take your hand, thumb moving over the back of it. “They’ll get used to it.” Logan locked eyes with you and you saw the resolve in them. “This is day one.” You nodded, smiling at the certainty in his tone even though you didn’t feel it yourself. “You can come up to my office next time.” He stood, lifting his coffee cup to his lips and finishing it, using one finger to gesture to you. “Your keycard works on the executive elevator now.” What? He didn’t give you a chance to respond before he’d grabbed his trash and tossed it, leaning over the desk to kiss you on the cheek. “Later.” 

 Speechless, you watched as Logan walked out of your office and down the hallway toward the elevators, saying hello to a few people as he passed but not stopping. Oh, holy shit. 

 --- 

 The rest of Monday and Tuesday at work passed quickly as you buried yourself in work - editing the files that contained information about current narratives and cataloguing relevant specifications for the archives. You didn’t see Logan again after he left your office on Monday morning, and while you got a few looks from colleagues in the cafe and did hear whispers while you walked through the hallways, no one said anything to you about the yacht party or the image that Logan had posted. I’m sure they’re thinking it, though. Determined not to let it bother you, you kept your head down, actually working ahead so that taking Wednesday off didn’t derail anything. 

 That meant having Tuesday’s lunch at your desk, typing furiously as you ate, the door shut to keep distractions out. Just as you were about to open it, your computer dinged with a video call request, and you answered it, surprised to see that it was Logan. “What’s going on, Logan?” He was sitting at his desk, a large window visible behind him, blinds partially closed to block some of the light. “How -”

 “I don’t have long, I’ve got a conference call with London in a few minutes, but…” He ran a hand through his hair, the movement casual, not a hair out of place when he finished. “I was just wondering if you wanted to leave together after work, we could grab dinner before…”

 “Leave my car here?” You frowned slightly, thinking. “I took tomorrow off, Logan, I’ll need to get h-”

 “Stay at my place.” He shrugged. “I can bring you back tomorrow when I come in, or … or we can figure somethin’ else out.” He raised an eyebrow. “No reason to take two cars, right?” You thought about the small parking lot behind the shop, knowing Logan was right, but then another thought occurred to you. 

 “Your sheets are all white, and expensive, and I always ble-” He laughed, shaking his head. 

 “You know.” He leaned in, closer to the screen, a smirk on his lips. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to avoid…”

 “No.” You smiled too, appreciating his teasing tone. “I’m just giving you a chance to back out, Delos.” He shook his head, sitting back up straight and rolling his neck. “We’ll drive together.” You paused. “And dinner would be great.” Logan waited. “And since I don’t work tomorrow, not having an outfit for work isn’t a problem.” You tapped your fingers against your desk, thinking. “Want me to meet you in the lobby at 5?” He nodded, a slow smile spreading across his lips. 

 “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Logan cleared his throat, staring directly at you through the screen. “You come up here and we wouldn’t make it on time.” With a surprised laugh, you shook your head and said goodbye, wishing him luck with his meeting before you ended the call. Glancing at the clock mounted on the wall above your office door as you moved to open it, you couldn’t help smiling. Four hours. 

--- 

 Dinner had to be quick, since your appointment was scheduled for 7, meaning that you didn’t have time to linger anywhere. Logan, as you knew, didn’t need a Michelin starred restaurant to be happy - so after he parked, you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the street a few blocks to a Dough, a pizza place that you’d been to before and after concerts at the Roxy. If anyone had recognized him on the street, they hadn’t said anything, and the two of you enjoyed your meal, laughing almost the entire time you were seated at your table. Logan was almost unrecognizable, his work clothing replaced by dark jeans and a fitted t shirt, and you noticed how casual and relaxed he seemed, an arm stretched across the back of the booth. I wish he could be like this more. 

 But, you realized, as Logan left cash on the table to pay for the meal and tossed an arm around your shoulders as you headed back to the shop, if he was with you, he could be like that more. You didn’t expect the glamour or the excess; sure, you’d accept it if he offered, if he wanted to introduce you to that part of his life, but with as comfortable as he looked on a daily basis in his suits and button down dress shirts, he looked even more at ease as he was that night… and you liked it. The two of you dodged people on the sidewalk, quickly crossing Sunset, and by the time you reached the front of the shop you were excited all over again. 

 Asher was guest tattooing at Shamrock Social Club, and even though you’d emailed him as soon as you found out, you’d been worried that his slots would be filled. Fortunately, he’d been more than willing to give you the time you needed, and when, over the phone, you’d told him what you wanted - to extend your current design up, he’d laughed louder than you’d ever heard before, followed by a low whistle and him saying “it’s about damn time”. While you’d been contemplating it for a while, Logan’s acceptance - and your secure position at Delos - had motivated you to act on the desire to finish the tattoo you’d started years earlier. 

 You’d warned Logan that it wasn’t going to be a quick appointment, that Asher was a stickler for perfection when it came to his designs, but he’d only nodded, reminding you that he had all the time in the world outside of work hours. Even though you were a few minutes early, your friend was waiting near the front desk, leaning against it and talking to the receptionist. “You didn’t tell me how fucking good looking he was.” Logan’s words were quiet, spoken directly into your ear. “You sure you didn’t sleep with him?” Biting back a laugh, you looked over at Logan and rolled your eyes before greeting the other man, crossing the small space quickly to hug him. It had been more than two years since you’d seen Asher - the man relocating to the east coast for the opportunity to open his own shop, and you knew that you’d be hearing some good stories during your session. 

 As you introduced the two men to each other, Logan reaching out to shake Asher’s hand, you pressed your lips together as watched Logan’s pale hand disappear into Asher’s tattooed one, the man’s blue eyes brightening and a grin spreading across his face as he looked Logan up and down. “You gonna let me tattoo you tonight, Logan?” He raised an eyebrow and jerked his chin in your direction. “She says that’s what you want.” Logan’s eyes widened and he glanced at you, then back at the other man, tongue darting out briefly. 

 “If you’ve got time, yeah, I -” Asher nodded, pulling his hand away from Logan’s and waving it in the air in a gesture of nonchalance before he ran it over his close cropped hair, still staring at Logan. 

 “Of course I’ve got time for you. She’s my last appointment tonight, we never know how long it’s going to take, so…I’m used to the late nights with her.” He shrugged, gesturing back to the room you’d be in, and you nudged Logan with your elbow, winking at him. “Plus, I’d never turn down the opportunity to tattoo you, Logan.” He cleared his throat, eyes still locked on the man you were with. “Give me a few minutes to finish setting up, we’ll do hers first and then I’ll take care of you, yeah?.” You met the receptionist’s eyes, not surprised to see that she’d been staring at Logan, eyes filled with amusement and appreciation. Right? Believe me, I know. When Asher disappeared down the short hallway, Logan pulled you back toward the front window, his eyes wide. 

 “What the fuck was that?” You paused, waiting, and Logan continued, voice low. “Was he flirting with you… and me in front of... “ You’re not used to that? You didn’t answer, trying not to laugh. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but…” You stared at him, taking in everything - the way Logan looked standing in front of the walls that were covered in flash designs, the tattoo paraphernalia surrounding him, the sound of the buzzing machines loud in your ears. I thought he’d look out of place, but he doesn’t. He looked as relaxed as could be, and you fought back a smile as you realized he was likely the only person in the building without any ink, yet he still seemed to belong. How do you do it, Logan Delos?

 “Logan.” You rubbed a hand over your face, bringing yourself back to the present, but still amused. “He’s married. He’s been married since he started tattooing me, and that’s just… how he is. His wife’s been to a couple of our sessions, she’s great too.” You rolled your eyes again. “Yes, he’s flirting, but it’s not…” You shrugged. “That’s the extent of it, so… get used to it, Delos.” You kissed his cheek, stepping back and looking down the hallway. “You might not be the biggest flirt in this building tonight.” 

 --- 

 It had taken Asher nearly an hour to sketch out the design on your skin in permanent marker, supplementing the deep purple ink from the transfer sheets that he’d prepared with the other colors. You were used to the process - the man using different colored markers to denote the order that he’d tattoo in, but Logan was fascinated with the whole thing, asking questions and making conversation from his seat next to you, his eyes constantly moving between your skin and the man’s hand as it drew. You’d had to remove your shirt and bra in order to allow Asher to see the whole design, your bare chest pressed against the material between you and the chair you laid on, head turned toward Logan. 

 You watched as he studied the way that Asher touched you, tracing the existing lines upward with his fingers and adding to them with the markers, Logan’s eyes dark and curious, and even though you knew he was trying to hide it, you saw a twinge of jealousy in them, knowing that the man was doing something that Logan himself wouldn’t be able to do for days. Not used to that either, are you Logan? You smiled at him, hands resting on the short platform beneath the table that ensured that the skin of your shoulders remained in a natural position, but it wasn’t until you stood up, holding the shirt carefully against your front, and stepped in front of the mirror that you asked him what he thought. 

 Asher held a second mirror in front of you and you studied the design carefully, eyes moving over the lines. “How’s it look, Logan?” You knew it looked great - that the lines were straight and even, the design symmetrical - but you wanted to hear it from him, too, knowing how much he valued precision. “Ash, if that’s too much for you to do in one session, you can cut it down, I want to make sure that Lo-” 

 “No.” Logan shook his head, leaning in closer, his eyes moving over your skin. “It looks… that’s all gonna be done tonight?” Asher turned his attention to the dark haired man, smiling. 

 “Yeah. She sits like a rock, so I always do as much as possible at a time on her.” You shook your head back and forth, waiting. “We might have to wait on the last of the shading, depending on how much it swells, but gettin’ all this done shouldn’t be a problem. You’ll probably be done around midnight, maybe a little later.” His eyes moved back to you, amusement in them. “That too late?” You and Logan answered at the same time - both of you saying no - and Asher stepped back, lowering the mirror. “Alright, well, if you wanna go to the bathroom or get somethin’ to drink or whatever before we start, go ahead, you’ve been layin’ there for an hour.”

 He turned his back to you, and you used the opportunity to pull the shirt away from your chest, giving Logan an eyeful before you pulled it over your head, pointing at the door. There you go, Logan, enjoy. “Gonna go get a drink from the cooler, wanna come?” He groaned but followed you, and you both made your way back into the lobby, stopping to grab the drinks and lingering in the hallway for a few seconds. “You really think it looks good, Logan?” He nodded seriously, eyes darting over your face. “I told you he’s a professional and we’re just friends, but you didn’t -”

 “It’s weird seeing someone else touch you like that, hands all over...” He sniffed, shaking his head. “I’ve never felt…” Really? Logan swallowed. “It’s kind of a turn on, though, he’s -” You laughed at that, twisting the top off of the bottle and taking a long swig of the Coke in your hand. “I’m serious. Sucks that he’s gonna get to have his hands on you all night, and all I can do is watch.” 

 “Not used to keeping your hands to yourself?” He leaned forward, kissing you quickly, lips pressed hard against yours as he gripped your shoulders through the thin material of your shirt. 

 “No, I’m not.”

--- 

 By ten, the tattoo was well underway - and you were comforted by the sound of the machine’s vibration, the gentle pressure of Asher’s hands on your back as he manipulated the skin and the sounds of the conversation that were going on around you. You usually talked with Asher a great deal, and while you’d caught up initially, Logan had taken over, engaging the other man in a way that was so uniquely Logan that you couldn’t even be mad. It allowed you to zone out a little, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths, a small smile on your face. “You guys been together long?” What? Eyes snapping open, they landed on Logan, who looked just as surprised as you at the question. “She’s never brought anyone with her to a session before, and…” You turned your head toward Asher, giving him a look, but the man only smiled. “Seemed like…”

 “We met about a year ago, right after she started at Delos.” Logan cleared his throat. “She, ah, knew of me, and kept turnin’ me down, and then I finally got her to come out with me after Christmas.” You were watching Logan again, eyes on his face, and even though his words were slightly halted, he looked relaxed as he spoke them, leaning forward in his chair toward you. “So I guess the answer to your question is ‘not long enough’.” Asher laughed, but you were frozen, staring at Logan. What does that even mean? “Your work… intrigued me.” Logan pressed his lips together and sat up, leaning against the back of his chair and running his fingers through his hair, the muscles of his bicep flexing. “First time I saw it all, it was like…” Logan shook his head and met your eyes, the heat in them unmistakable. “Like lookin’ at a piece of art.” 

 It was one of the things you joked with Logan about often - the amount of priceless artwork he had displayed in his home, the pieces rotated out every so often and replaced with others just as valuable, just as beautiful - but to hear that he considered you, your skin that way? It was a shock to you. “Logan, I -” He was still staring at you, a look of absolute seriousness on his face and you shifted slightly on the table, feeling as Asher’s hands pulled away from you for a moment, likely sitting up to get more ink on the needle. 

 “You do incredible work, Asher. I’m lucky I get to be… to appreciate it so often.” Your heart was thudding in your chest, watching as Logan’s eyes roamed your back and then came up to your face, jaw locking. “Really lucky.” Giving him a small smile, you felt your face redden, but Logan went quiet, one hand reaching over to touch your shoulder gently, his thumb rubbing over the design that was waiting to be tattooed. Shocked into silence, you relaxed back against the chair as Logan did the same on his, and after a few minutes of quiet, you closed your eyes again, still smiling. No, definitely not long enough. 

 --- 

 “Alright, just a little bit left to go.” Asher put the tattoo machine down, and you took a deep breath, knowing what was coming. “Gonna clean this off and make sure, but I think we just need to worry about the very tops of your shoulders and then the front, so you’re lookin’ at less than an hour.” Bracing yourself for the chill of the green soap and the drag of the paper towel against your skin - always the part you looked forward to the least - you closed your eyes. Hissing at the change in temperature against your skin, you stiffened, hearing Asher laugh from above you. “Always the same, hmm?” 

 “You know I hate that, Ash.” The man laughed again as you whined, and told you to sit up, giving you a chance to stretch. You did so, using one arm to hold the shirt in place over your chest, and when the tattoo artist excused himself from the room and left you alone with Logan, you tilted your head to the side. “How’s it going, Delos?” Logan regarded you carefully before smiling and leaning forward, one hand going to your jaw to angle your head and pulling you into a kiss. 

 “Good.” He sighed, pressing another kiss to your lips. “You in pain?” You shrugged, thinking. Your back ached slightly, and felt warm, but you knew that it was due to the swelling. “Bleedin’ a lot, especially up by your neck.” He was holding your arm, fingers closed around the skin between your shoulder and elbow, but it was a gentle touch, his thumb moving back and forth against the inside of it. 

 “Told you it would.” You licked your lips, gesturing to the bottle of Coke that was next to Logan, and he handed it to you. “You mind holding -”

 “Nothin’ I haven’t seen before.” He leaned back, eyeing you. “Well?” Rolling your eyes at him - something you knew that he secretly loved - you pulled your hand away from your chest, allowing the material to drop. 

 “Jackass.” You mumbled the single word at him, and Logan grinned at you from his chair, legs stretched out in front of him while you drained the bottle, eyes narrowed. “We’ll see how much you like looking but not touc-” 

 “You already turnin’ me down?” Logan leaned forward, forearms resting on this thighs but keeping his eyes on your face. “I knew that’s what it’d be like being in a -” You pushed him with one hand, using the other to reach down and lift your shirt, covering your chest again. He laughed before he dug his teeth into his lower lip, staring at you. “You know I’m joking, right?” You nodded, laying back down and stretching your arms out in front of you, feeling the skin on your back tighten. Ow.

 “You really think it’s art, Logan?” You turned your head toward him, resting your cheek on the back of your hand. “I know you’ve -”

 “It is. A different kind of art than I’m used to, but it’s the same concept.” Logan rubbed a hand over his beard. “What Asher does - what he gives people like you? It’s not somethin’ you can hang on the wall like a painting, or use like clothes’, but it’s still… it’s worth looking at, worth owning, worth keeping. Wish I could do that for someone, give ‘em something they’ll look at and appreciate forever.” 

 “You do, Logan, with Delos, with the parks, and with -”

 “It’s not the same. They’re… they’re … ideals that we meet, but it’s not real, it’s not the...” He shook his head, and there was a knock on the door before Asher pushed it open again, poking his head in. The two men started talking right away, even as Asher put a new pair of gloves on and moved his chair to sit in front of you, leaning over your head to more easily reach your shoulders. As they talked and you laid there, eyes on Logan, you thought. What if… would Asher… would Logan? 

 When Asher finished with your back and told you that all that was left was the front of your shoulders, you sat up, still holding the shirt to your chest. “Alright, let me…” Making a spinning motion with your finger you watched as Asher turned away from you and the mirror, busying himself with wiping off the table next to the tiny ink pots he’d set up, throwing away a few of them. Logan, instead of looking away again, held your gaze for a few seconds before he wrinkled his nose and looked down at his phone, giving you the privacy you needed to slip your bra back on without pulling the straps over your shoulders. Now or never. “Hey, Ash.” You took a deep breath. “Remember how you told me that when Jase turned sixteen, you let him tattoo you because it’s all he’d been talking about?” Asher turned back to look at you, head tilted to the side as you mentioned his younger brother.

 “Yeah, he was obsessed with the idea, wouldn’t shut up about it, and…” The man shrugged, holding his arm out and pointing with one gloved finger. “Just did a couple stars and some shading, nothin’ big.” You leaned in, eyeing the design - a grouping of four small stars on the inside of his wrist. They look fine. “Why do you ask?” You locked eyes with Asher, pressing your lips together and you watched as the look in his eyes changed, him giving you a tiny nod before you turned toward Logan, biting your lower lip. “I want Logan to tattoo on my shoulder.” 

 “No. No way.” He replied before you finished, shaking his head back and forth. “I’ve never… no. I’m not artistic, I can’t…” But you saw the way his eyes looked, excitement mixed in with the apprehension. “I’ll hurt you.” Reaching out, you took his hand in yours, squeezing it. 

 “You won’t. Ask Asher, the celebrities do it all the time - the artists will let them do small designs on each other, it’s not… you won’t hurt me.” You glanced down. “Besides, the lines are already there for you, you just have to trace them.” Logan paused, his eyes moving over your shoulder. He’s considering it. 

 “I’ve never… used that kinda needle before, I don’t know how… I’m not used to…” Feeling your chest grow tight, you mentally kicked yourself for not considering how he’d feel with any sort of needle in his hand - but then remembered that he’d wanted to get something tattooed himself, that he’d been watching you for the better part of three hours with no issue. “I donno how to use the…”

 “I’ll work the foot pedal, Logan.” Asher leaned in, the tattoo machine in his hand. “All you have to do is dip it in the ink and put it to her skin.” The room went silent - no one but Asher had ever tattooed you before, and Logan knew that - knew what you were asking, and what going through with it would mean.  

 “If you don’t want to, Logan, it’s fine, I just thought…” You watched as Logan glanced down at his arm, swallowing hard. “Who better to supervise you than the best?” Logan took a deep breath and when he raised his head, he stared at you with certainty in his eyes. 

 “You sure?” You gave him a single nod accompanied with a smile. “You’ll tell me if it hurts?” 

 “It’s gonna hurt, Logan, it’s a tattoo, but yeah, I’ll tell you if it’s worse than it usually is.” You looked over at Asher, giving him a final nod, and the man set the machine down on the tabletop, pulling off his gloves with a snap. “You’ll be fine, Logan. I want this. I trust you.” Logan stayed quiet but then leaned in, kissing you hard on the mouth before he stood, nodding. 

 “Alright, Asher. Get me set up.” You watched as Asher instructed Logan to wash his hands and put on a new pair of gloves before he did the same, picking up the machine and showing Logan how to use it. He explained the pressure that Logan would need to use against your skin, and then looked at you, telling you to lay back on the table, head on a raised cushion so that the freshly tattooed skin of your back wasn’t pressing against the table’s surface. “Can you show me, I…” Asher nodded, telling Logan to lean in but not touch anything, and then you felt Asher’s finger on your skin, spreading a thin layer of Vaseline against it, followed by the buzz of the needle against your shoulder, leaving a trail of black behind. 

 “I can only describe it as… like writing.” Asher spoke quietly, still working. “Too hard and it’ll gouge the skin, too light and the ink won’t go deep enough. The fewer passes you have to do on an outline, the better.” He showed Logan how to dip the needle into the ink and clear off the excess, giving the man a chance to watch up close for a few minutes. “Alright, I’m gonna hand this to you, you start on that side, OK?” Logan’s eyes flicked back to yours and you smiled up at him, nodding. You can do this, Logan. 

 “It’s just some ink, Logan.” You both knew that you were wrong, but it seemed to calm him down enough to encourage him. He took the machine from Asher’s hand and took a deep breath, leaning over you to dip the end in the black ink. 

 “Ready?” Asher looked at Logan, who nodded, and then at you. You gave him a wink and then you heard the buzzing as the machine came to life. “Pull it back.” There was a short pause, the machine starting and stopping a few times, but you were focused on Logan and nothing else. “Alright, let me….” He leaned over, repeating the process with the Vaseline on the side that Logan was seated on. “You’re good, Logan. Go for it.” Logan took a deep breath, pausing, and you lifted your hand to rest it on his knee, giving it an encouraging squeeze. I trust you. 

 The moment the needle touched your skin, you watched Logan’s eyes light up. He leaned in, closer to you, and though he pressed a little harder than Asher did, it wasn’t too hard for you to handle. When Asher tattooed you, his touch was friendly - he was personable, but it was still just a job to him; you were familiar, he understood your skin - nothing more. With Logan, you kept your eyes on his profile as he worked, noticing that he glanced up often at the other man, waiting for confirmation that what he was doing was right. After a few seconds, Asher passed Logan a dampened paper towel, telling him to wipe away the smeared ink to see what his lines looked like. “That looks good, Logan.” Logan’s dark eyes found yours and you smiled at him, fingers tightening on his denim clad leg. “You want to do more, or…?” 

 “Keep going, Logan.” Your voice low, you urged him on. It felt good to have him touching you, the way his fingers pressed into your skin to pull it tighter, the proximity of him to your body, his breaths close to your ear. Logan touched you the same way he did in bed; every connection between your skin meaningful, the heat of his hand pressed against the front of your shoulder grounding you and distracting you from the pain you felt on your back, despite the layer of latex between you. He was focused on what he was doing, the tip of his tongue poking out between his lips, and even when Logan paused to swipe at the skin, switching out the dirty paper towel with a fresh one from Asher, he stayed focused. The minutes passed by slowly, and then Logan finally sat up, shaking his head back and forth, the look in his eyes unreadable. 

 “I gotta stop, I can’t…” He licked his lips, taking short breaths. “If I keep goin’, you’ll definitely have a lot to fix, Asher, and …”

 “He’s not fixing anything, Logan.” You stared up at Logan, giving him a small shake of your head. “Whatever you did is staying.” Logan’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth to disagree, but you stopped him. “I wanted you to do this, I’m not just going to cover it up.” He passed the machine back to Asher without saying another word, snapping the gloves off and standing, tossing them in the trash. 

 “I’ll be…” Logan shook his head. “I need a minute.” He stepped out the door immediately after, leaving the two of you alone in the room. Oh, Logan. I’m sorry. Asher gave you a minute, too, asking if you needed to go after the man, but you knew that Logan wouldn’t simply leave you alone to fend for yourself, and so you relaxed, telling Asher to continue. As you relaxed again, you stared at the ceiling, taking deep breaths. Asher worked quickly, finishing the side that he’d started before moving to Logan’s side of your body, wiping away the remaining excess ink and reapplying the Vaseline. Just as the needle touched your skin, there was a single knock on the door, Logan pushing it open. “Sorry.” He stepped inside, saying the single word but not meeting your eyes and leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest since he couldn’t get back to his seat. Did I overstep? I shouldn’t have… Asher finished only a few minutes later, the man looking up at Logan as he sat straight up.

 “Logan, man, I gotta say those lines are straight.” He shook his head. “You’ve got a steady hand.” You knew that Asher wouldn’t lie to Logan, and so you were excited to see the parts he’d done, along with the whole piece done by Asher. “Let me clean this up and you can see it.” He cleaned off your shoulders, doing one more pass of your back too, and then Asher told you to get up, directing you to the mirror. You stood with your back to it and waited, but when the man held the smaller mirror up, you couldn’t help the gasp that left your lips. 

 “It’s beautiful, Ash.” Stepping backwards so that you could see the detail better, you raised a hand to your mouth. “I never…” Your entire back was covered with ink, the designs interlocking and overlapping, flowing together in a way that - if anyone had predicted years earlier - you would have laughed off. That’s me. That’s mine. “I wish I could stare at it all day.” He laughed, and you heard Logan laugh quietly too, but then you turned to face the mirror, finally seeing the front of the tattoo. It curved over the tops of your shoulders, shapes and delicate lines broken up by pockets of deep black, and you pressed the hand to your mouth more tightly as your eyes landed on the part Logan had done. He…Oh, Asher. He hadn’t fixed the things Logan had inked onto you, instead he’d found a way to highlight them with clever shading, making them stand out without throwing the entire thing off balance. The lines were straight - for the most part - but you could see slight hesitation in them, and, as you looked closer, you noticed two extra dots in the center of a diamond - the only thing that was not mirrored on the other side of the design. 

 Your fingers hovered over the tattoo but you didn’t touch it, and you felt tears welling in your eyes. It’s perfect. Glancing up, you caught Logan’s eye in the mirror, and were surprised to see that he looked worried. You have nothing to worry about Logan. Nothing. “Let’s get you covered up, so we can get Logan’s tattoo done, yeah?” You nodded, stepping away from the mirror and allowing Asher to bandage your back and shoulders, the tape sticking to your skin easily. You pulled on the t shirt and then, without saying another word as Asher cleaned up the table and excess ink, you stepped over to Logan, putting your arms around him and hugging him tightly. 

 He returned the gesture after a short pause, pressing his hands to your lower back, and then you felt him kiss the top of your head, inhaling deeply. We’ll talk about it later. I know you want to. “You sure you still got time for me tonight, Asher?” Logan’s tone was lighter than it had been, and as you stepped next to him, waiting, you watched as Asher sat on his stool, spinning to face you. 

 “Of course, if you’re still interested.” Logan nodded. “What are you getting?” Very interested in the answer, you looked up at Logan, waiting. 

 “Just one word.” Logan held his left arm up, using his right fingers to tap on his bicep. “Right here.”

 ---