#also I fucked up on her hand in the headshot like six times

[wyrm-with-a-why]

Me explaining that if it can’t be my night then it can’t be Megatron’s night either

Everyone’s favourite girl failure🩷

[nouvxllev]

skill issues

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x G!p!Reader

Summary: in which you got reeled into a bandwagon of a fps game by mindy, anika, and chad.

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: smut. just pure smut.

a/n: i just love the idea of tara carpenter being a clingy partner (also my first time writing just a chapter full of smut.)

masterlist.

The clock ticked midnight. Probably even pass that. Actually, you didn't know anymore. Whatever was on your mind was completely erased and replaced by tiny pixels moving in your screen.

Ever since you've joined Tara's friend group, you've also been reeled into a bunch of activities they do on a daily basis. To binge watching scary movies you've begged them not to drag you in, to playing games they recommended to you.

You regret participating in the latter.

It's not like you were having fun, hell, you were having too much fun with this simple FPS mobile game they pulled you in, but the deep dark circles under your eyes were starting to show and you don't really eat anything except for the meals Tara cooks for you. Which are greatly appreciated by a kiss.

"Y/n, what the fuck!? I told you to cover me!" Mindy yelled over your headphones. Actually, it was Tara's headphones desperately lent over to you after days of quiet shouting that didn't really help.

You crouched in reply, knowing Mindy was spectating your character.

You killed, not one, not two, not even four people, but six at once in a group! 3 headshots and 3 body kills. You were pretty proud of yourself, honestly. You just started the game a few weeks ago and you're only getting better and better, you wanted to brag to Tara but she was fast asleep beside you. She was always beside you whenever you play those games with the group, cuddling you as you hold your phone up in the air, but she always ends up falling asleep when you do.

Chad laughs over his mic, "damn, we should've invited Y/n a long time ago. She's good at this game."

You laugh in response, bringing your voice to a whisper. "Even I didn't know I had this in me."

Ever since you and Tara finally made it official, you packed your things and said good riddance to your home and lived together with Tara. It was unexpected, even she was surprised by the spontaneous decision, but the two of you were happy in paradise. Not until you got dragged into the whole 'gaming with those two dipshits™ (by Tara Carpenter, of course.)'

"Anika—! Anika—Wait, shit Anika!" You scream, regrettably, while shooting the opposing team down. Obviously, the luck you had earlier had worn out and you were now staring down at your dead character, groaning.

"I didn't know they were there!" Anika apologized.

"Skill issue." Mindy chimed, you could tell she was leaning back in her chair, looking smug.

"Definitely." Chad blurted, a huff of air he let out.

You rolled your eyes. "Those who didn't carry the team with their 6-kill streak should actually shut up." You went back to the home screen after gg'ing the other team

"Another round?" You exclaimed, and the others cheerfully agreed in the background.

You forgot, for a split second, you were beside one of the most lightest sleepers in the world; your marvelous girlfriend Tara Carpenter. Someone could breathe in her vicinity and she'd almost immediately wake up. Which is why she's staring you down, burning holes in your neck, unimpressed look on her face.

"Y/n," she groaned, "I thought you'd be done by now."

You turned to look at her, and you could only hope it was the darkness fooling your eyes since Tara looked like she was about to scream if not for her reminding herself that you were her girlfriend.

You muted your mic, "One more round, I promise."

"You always say that." She whispered, her arms wrapping around your waist as you were sitting up and you almost melted in her arms, a sigh you let out.

You let your other hand let go of your phone and let your hand relax on her head, soothing her worries of you being on the verge of being one of those mentally unstable gamers who discarded their whole entire life.

Tara was still awake, you could tell by how she tilted her head slightly to look up at you and back to whatever game it is you were so engrossed in.

It was only a few seconds later before Mindy, Anika, and Chad were screaming into the mic and telling eachother to "defend, defend, defend!" or just curse at eachother.

And you, of course, was just resting in paradise while your girlfriend watches over you with half-lidded eyes. But you could tell she was trying to be awake.

You were getting into that headspace where your luck with getting kills increased, and damn were you so happy you could basically convince yourself you were the next top player at this game.

That was until you fumbled over a sniper shot, your finger slipping and your character dying. Your friends were yelling, laughing, but you couldn't focus. Not when Tara's hand was placed firmly on top of your cock.

You froze in place, your eyes, not focused on the screen anymore, but focused on somewhere in the darkness of your room. Her fingers tracing lazy circles around your clothed bulge, only getting larger the more she teases you.

You muted your mic, your hands clutching your phone as you suck in a moan. "Tara, wait, I'm—"

"—Playing?" She finished, looking up at you with her doe-eyes you knew you could never resist. "I'm sure you can play perfectly fine." She replied, her fingers sliding into the waistband of your shorts. You ultimately regretting, and thanking, that you weren't wearing anything underneath.

You were big, you haven't measured it yourself, but Tara worshipped it like it was (and is) so that was enough for confirmation. The tip of your cock was immediately leaking with pre-cum, and it didn't help when Tara kept stroking it, taking her time to graze her thumb along the head.

"Aren't you going to continue playing?" She looked at you, doe eyes and all as if she wasn't giving you the most perfect and maddening handjob you've ever received.

There was something in her voice, something that made you go fucking insane. And something that made you click that respawn button, playing it off as if nothing was happening down below.

You were desperately trying to get a kill, the amount of times you've pressed that damn respawn button was embarrassing. But how could you focus when the most prettiest girl was wrapping her warm lips around the tip of your dick, her hands taking care of the inches that wasn't in her mouth. Yet.

She removed her mouth away from your cock, a soft whine escaping your lips at the loss of contact, but then she adjusted her position. Her body going in between your thighs as she spreads them apart.

You almost, almost, went to heaven when she immediately reattached her soft lips to your dick and slowly started to go deeper.

It was almost pathetic how your hips bucked and your head was thrown back, your eyes rolling in pleasure.

And only a few seconds passed until she was bobbing her head up and down on your cock, her free hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Fuck, that turned you on even more.

You contemplated throwing the game, hell, even your phone, but Tara dug her perfectly manicured nails into your thighs when you were starting to put your phone down.

"Y/n, you're getting out of your game!"

"Noticed."

"I bet 20 bucks she's getting laid by Tara, right now."

The three of them, in order, Chad, Anika, and Mindy all teasing you for getting your dick sucked in the middle of the game. But you didn't care, at all. You didn't have enough trust in yourself to unmute and to deny all sayings, that were 100% true by the way, without having to hold back a moan.

"Fuck, Tara..." You manage to say in a whimper, your hand, which was supposed to be playing the game, was grabbing a handful of Tara's hair. Helping her take in what's left of you, and soon enough, her nose reached your chest, gagging a little bit in the process.

You were going crazy.

It was then you couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed her hair, a bit more forcefully, and started to shove yourself back and forth into her mouth. Your hips bucking and gradually getting speed. You could see how her eyes and jaw widened to take more of you. Spit and pre-cum dripping all over her mouth as she looked at you, tears staining her eyes while she closed them whenever she hit the base, gagging all over your cock.

You can feel your legs begin to shake, your head throwing back and your eyes rolling. But that didn't stop you from absolutely railing Tara's mouth against your dick until you've emptied yourself inside of her, forcing her to swallow all of your load.

A minute passed before you slowed down your movements, pulling an exhausted Tara out of your cock. She looked at you dumb, your own cum smeared all over her lips as a grin adorned her abused lips.

"I guess we can say I'm better than that stupid game you're always playing." She rasped, her voice hoarse.

"You did this because you were... jealous of me playing a game?" You chuckled, clearly out of breath. It was cute if you weren't so turned on by the fact Tara was looking at you like that.

She brought her hand up to her mouth, wiping away the excess cum with her thumb and licking it off. "I just wanted to tease you, baby."

You thought that was the end of it, not until Tara threw your phone and headphones away and started to climb on top of you, your still hardened cock right on top of her clit. You didn't even notice she wasn't wearing anything underneath as well until now.

"I'll get you a new one—" she breathed, "I promise. Just, please." She whimpered, god, fuck, you were going insane. "Just fuck me."

And that was everything you needed you hear.

You immediately flipped her around, "Y/n, what the FUCK!—" she screamed as you drilled your cock into her, your hips pulling out your dick and fully slamming it back into her pussy. A broken moan coming out of her lips.

"Shit... Tara, you're driving me crazy." Was all you could mutter before you went faster, your hands going to her hips to hold her steady, and your eyes were focused on your cock easily sliding in and out of her puffy folds, taking all of you at once while Tara could only moan, a new freshly coat of cum taking over your dick.

The way she squeezed around you, milking your cock for all it's worth, made you dizzy and your head start to spin. But that didn't stop you from completely destroying her bit by bit, aiming to break her down.

You pulled her closer to you, your hands going up to her shoulders and aggressively ramming her body against your shaft as if it wasn't so deep enough already. Tara couldn't say, mutter, or even speak a single sentence at this point.

You were fucking her dumb, and shit you loved it.

Your hands slithered up from her shoulders to her neck, lightly choking her before turning her head to you.

"You're so pretty like this, baby. So gorgeous and perfect." You muttered in her ear, every word coming to a hard thrust as Tara's mouth opened, attempting to say something but only coming out as a pathetic moan. "You wanna be fucked like a slut? Be fucked dumb out of your mind?"

Sliding your hands on her back, you pressed down firmly to create the perfect arch as her head was buried into the soft mattress, her hands curling up into a ball as she sobbed with pleasure. You can hear her moaning your name over and over again, screaming and sobbing muffled by the soft pillow under her.

"Answer me, Tara."

"Yes, please!" She pleaded, "God, oh my god." She gulped, her head falling back as she reached her second orgasm, her walls clamping down on your cock and cum dripping down from her abused and assaulted pussy.

Her legs gave up, but you didn't. You continued to ram into her, without a care that she was near peak exhaustion and her sobs were becoming more frequent. Your freehand that wasn't pressing down on her back going over to her clit, overstimulating her.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum," you groaned, "Tara..."

"Cum'n me." She said, breathless, "please. Please, please, please, please—"

After that last plead, you came in her. Your body still thrusting into Tara as you lean towards her, "I love you. I love you so much, my favorite girl." You muttered, pressing kisses all over her cheeks and lips as she breathed for air. But that sweet moment didn't stop you from resuming to pound into her as if it was your last day on earth.

You kept your cock inside of her, pistoning it in and out as you stretched her pussy till it's limit. Until it recognized the shape of your dick, which, you succeeded. The both of you continued until Tara reached her actual peak of exhaustion and collapsed.

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When Tara woke up, she was sore. Sore as fuck. Everything up and down from her head to toe was just relentless pain everywhere. That is, until she turned her head to see you just gazing at her. Softly. As if you didn't ruin her to pieces just hours before.

"Hey," you greeted her, a smile gracing your lips. Tara didn't realize, but you drew her a bath the second she passed out and took care of her yourself. Even changed her to her favorite outfit whenever she just wanted to lay around.

Tara smiled. Despite her sore legs, her sore everything actually, she still managed to cling onto you like a koala. Her arms crushing you as you hugged her back. "Hey." She whispered in your ear, kissing you gently. "Thanks, by the way. For taking care of me." She hugged you even tighter, which you reciprocated.

The two of you sat there for a few minutes, basking in eachothers presence and warmthness. Until you broke the silence. "Tell me the real reason." You pulled back from Tara's tight hug. (You tried to, she was unbudging.)

"I was." She raised an eyebrow, which you also reciprocated.

You chuckled. "I've been your girlfriend and bestfriend for a total of 3 years, Tara. You can't fool me."

She could almost roll her eyes right now if she wouldn't regret it later. "We haven't had sex in a while." She confessed, avoiding your eye contact. "Like, a whole month."

The adorableness there was to Tara Carpenter, the amazing girl you're blessed with, was beyond you. "You could've told me, Tara." You tucked a loose strand between her ear, "you know I like talking with you. Especially about something personal, or maybe something about in our relationship."

"I didn't know how to like," she paused, "really, really, express it." She explained, "also I couldn't since you were on that damn video game for weeks now!"

Yeah, you had to blame yourself for that. Or maybe the crew. "I solemnly swear to not play that game. Well, atleast that often." You held up your pinky, making a pinky promise that you always, always never broken in your life.

Tara chuckled, taking your pinky into hers. "Also your phone has been buzzing like crazy for the last few minutes."

"It's just Mindy bragging about she got rich because she was betting over our sex life."

"What!?" The younger Carpenter screamed.

"Don't worry too much about it." You shrugged it off. "Just a skill issue." You joked.

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a/n: just needed to get this off my brain. idea popped into my head one random day and i've been thinking about it actually doing something about it, and it's probably something i need to do to take of my writers block!!

[sillygooseassociation]

Naughty or Nice

Request(s): this could be for jason or ted , but he dresses up as santa to surprise his kid(s) then after the whole thing y/n gets kinda turned on by him being Santa LMAO! santa foreplay??? maybe?? am i just horny?? idkkkkk?!??!? /// oh wait i think I mean roleplay not foreplay sorry HAHAHA /// okay im really sorry idk anything about sexy time and role playing or foreplaying??? idk HAHAHA i just want Ted or Jason as Santa 😭💔

Description: Dressed as Santa to surprise the kids, Jason is also in for a surprise himself from your reaction to his costume.

Warning: pregnancy, Otis and Daisy included, dirty talk, mentions of riding and masturbation, dirty talk does revolve around santa lol

Pairing: JRU (Jason x reader universe), written in conjunction with rest of JRU but can be read on its own

Word Count: 2.6k words

Holiday Fic Guide

A/N: Okay, yes, I know the gif is Ted and not Jason and they are so fucking different if those headshot differences show us anything. But it's a Christmas fic, specifically one where Jason dresses up as Santa so I HAD to use the Ted season 2 Christmas gif. also not all of these @sarahsardines just for the one request but being in three asks because she was confused, i love you.

-

Opening the oven door, you pull out the tray of sugar cookies, placing it on the cast-iron stove grates before closing the door. A smile spreads across your face as you hear the laughter of Otis and Daisy in the family room, likely in response to something said by Olaf. Your Christmas playlist plays softly in the background of the kitchen and you hum along before taking a sip of your sparkling cider, missing your wine after six long months without it. Checking the time on your phone, you realize that Jason should be back soon and head to the family room, pausing to smile at your two favorite kiddos cuddled up on the couch under a fluffy blanket. “Well don’t you two look comfy!”

The kids turn to you with bright smiles, Daisy jumping up to stand on the couch and Otis holding the blanket open so that you can join, “Mama, will you watch with us?” Daisy nods in excited agreement as your heart sores. As soon as Jason and you told them they were gonna have a younger sibling, they asked what they were allowed to call you if the baby would get to call you mom. The two of you reassured them that you were perfectly fine just being Y/N to them, that it wouldn’t hurt your feelings, but they refused, deciding on Mama for you. After almost four years with Jason, one of those as fiancés, your new title of Mama was your favorite thing to come from it, aside from the little one in your belly of course. 

“I would love to watch with you two, but I think I have a better idea.” The two young kids look at you with suspicion, finding it hard to believe that there’s anything better than watching the movie currently playing on the television, “Better than Frozen?” You shrug your shoulders, turning around the room to leave, “You’re right, decorating cookies does sound boring, I’ll just do it myself…” You’re cut off by loud protests that you laugh at, Otis soon passes you in a sprint to the kitchen as Daisy grabs your hand, “Mama, no! We want to decorate with you, please!” You look down to see her looking up at you with pleading eyes, a strand of her blonde hair falls in front of her vision before you tuck it behind her ear, “Of course, you can do that with me Daisy girl, I would like nothing more than that.” The two of you enter the kitchen where Otis is practically bouncing in place as he sits on a stool at the island, Daisy then climbing up to sit in the spot next to him. You change the playlist to one of their favorite Christmas songs before you pull the different colored frostings out of the fridge.

After about 20 minutes of decorating cookies, which really means 20 minutes of you decorating cookies and fifteen minutes of the kids eating cookies after taking five minutes to decorate one each, you hear a sound from the living room. The rap on the front window catches the attention of the kids, looking at you with confusion as to what was going on, though you simply respond with a shrug of the shoulders, “Hm, who could be here this late on Christmas Eve?” The siblings look at each other with furrowed brows that looked scarily like the brows of their father when he was concentrating. They both let out gasps as lightbulbs seemed to go off simultaneously in their heads, “Santa!” You laugh lightly at their responses as they hop down from their tall chairs before sprinting to the living room, you follow at a slower pace due to the added weight of a six-months-along bump. 

Walking into the living room, you first notice the kids jumping up and down as they cheer at the sight in front of them which was not at all what you pictured, to say the least. Casting your vision up, you see Jason Santa with his forearms propped up on the window sill, pushing his head up into sight as the rest of his body dangles unseen outside, below the view of the window. You cover your mouth to keep in your laughs, what the hell was he doing? Of course he couldn’t actually come down the fireplace, but you just thought that meant he was going to sneak in through the front door and place himself in front of the fireplace before getting the kids’ attention, not…whatever this was. Jason continued to pull himself up but he was still only through up until his pecs, obviously having trouble though you know the kids couldn’t notice. Moving forward, you go to help “Santa” make his way safely into the house, “Here Santa, let me help you out there.” 

But before you could even make it a foot away from the kids, Otis grabs your hand to hold you back and you turn to question him, “Mama, no, Santa’s too heavy, dad said you’re not allowed to pick up anything big.” You hear Jason stifle a snicker, to which you throw him a middle finger behind your back, though you’re unsure if he sees it or not depending on his progress of breaking into his own home. You focus your attention on Otis, who is looking up at you with concerned eyes, damn he really was like his father, wouldn’t let you do anything with Baby Sudeikis in your tummy. You squeeze Otis’s hand before moving to stand in between him and Daisy, turning back so you can watch the extremely entertaining show in front of you, “You’re right buddy, thank you for reminding me. If daddy were here, he would be so proud of you for taking care of your baby sibling and me. Now, let’s watch Santa try to get in here because he was so silly and decided to take possibly the most complicated route into our home.”

Jason looks up at you in faux offense with a cocked eyebrow though it is hidden from the kids by his large white beard that quite frankly, looks incredibly itchy and not in the way you enjoyed when referring to Jason’s facial hair. With one last push against the window sill, Jason successfully enters the house, though he does so by practically throwing himself in. Your laughter finally breaks through as the kids cheer, running up to Santa to ask him questions at what seemed like a million miles a minute. “Why didn’t you come down our chimney?” “Why are you here so early?” “Can we pet the reindeer?” “Our cookies aren’t ready yet, are we gonna get coal now?” Letting out a boisterous and jolly laugh, Jason calms them down and answers their questions, “I wanted to pretend to be a spy. … My watch must be off, I thought you two would be in bed by now! … The reindeer need to take a break right now but maybe you can see some of their cousins at a wildlife sanctuary sometime. … Don’t worry little Miss Daisy, I am so stuffed from all the other cookies right now and it's my fault for being early anyway.”

Daisy lets out a small gasp and grabs tightly onto her father’s hand, “Santa knows my name!” You journey over to the couch, smiling brightly at the interaction between your fiancé and children, of course Jason was the perfect Santa, why wouldn’t he be? He’s the best dad and obviously, he knows how to improvise, but what really touched your heart was the fact that he wanted to do this for the kids. He knew it was only a matter of time before Otis stopped believing in the elusive Saint Nick, and he wanted his son to have a magical moment to seal this chapter of his childhood. Of course Jason wanted to do this, he wanted to do anything and everything for his children and you. Your bright smile turns soft from thinking about the compassion of your partner, how did you ever manage to land him?

You are snapped out of your thoughts as the cheers of Daisy and Otis reverberate off the walls of the Brownstone, quickly putting together that Jason mentioned your agreed-upon plan to give the kids one gift each from Santa now. Looking behind Jason, you notice the red velvet sack that just so happened to be propped up against the wall below the window, whether he left it there and prayed the kids wouldn’t notice or threw it in through the window before doing the same of himself, you had no clue. As Jason turned around to search through the sack, you realized two things in quick succession, one, those red pants, though loose around his body, made his ass look damn good, and two, this character of his right now could definitely be a fun one to mess with. 

As soon as the gifts are handed to the two eager receivers, Jason makes his way over to you, sitting on the edge of the couch next to your spot, “And how about you little lady, have you been naughty or nice this year?” Turning to look at Jason, you cock your head to the side and show him an innocent smile as you cross one leg over the other as gracefully as you can considering your bump, “I’d say 50/50. I’ve been such a naughty girl, but I can also be a good girl, whatever you want, Santa.” Jason gulps deeply, glancing to see that the kids are entranced with opening their presents and exploring them. He looks back to you as his left leg begins to bounce and he folds his hands together suspiciously high in between his thighs, “Is that right?”

You nod sweetly at him before placing your hand high on his right thigh, just under where his forearm is resting, running your nails up and down the covered skin, “Mhm. I love being such a good girl for you, taking care of your kids and carrying your baby. But sometimes Santa works late nights and I just can’t help myself, gotta touch myself until you get home.” Jason squeezes his eyes shut as he drops his chin to the top of his chest, “Jesus fuck.” You laugh at him before scooting closer, Jason unclasping his hands and wrapping an arm around you on instinct, his hands resting on your hip, “I don’t think that’s in the spirit of the season, Santa.” Jason lowly chuckles at your words though you continue before he can say something, “Can I tell you what I want for Christmas, Santa?” Lifting his head, Jason turns to look at you and nods apprehensively, unsure of where you are going. You push your hair back, knowing that the flannel pajama set you were wearing was becoming a bit too small with your growing bump and thus accentuated your also growing breasts, “Do I have to sit on your lap to tell you?” 

Jason’s eyes fall to your spotlighted features, seemingly having a staring contest with them before clearing his throat at what you said, then using his free hand to adjust how his red suit coat was covering his crotch, “N-no, not necessary.” Batting your eyelashes innocently, you catch Jason’s gaze, “I want a pony,” your fiancé cocks his eyebrow before you can continue. As you open your mouth to speak, you bring your hand higher up his thigh, stopping where you know it is at the same level of his tip, only a mere couple of inches from where he wants you, “Well, not necessarily a pony, really just anything I can ride.” 

At that, Jason chokes on his breath before quickly standing up and clapping excitedly to get the attention of the playing kiddos, “Alright you two, I think it's time for Santa to head off, I have lots of presents to deliver tonight. I’ll come back when I know you two are asleep, I’ll just have to look at my phone instead of my watch!” Otis laughs as if Jason just said the most hysterical thing ever, “Santa has a phone?” Jason laughs at his son’s amusement though he also desperately needs to escape the room before you can try anything else, “Well of course I have a phone, how else would I talk to my head elf, Bernard?” The kids hug Santa goodbye before leading him over to where you now stand, “Will you say bye to the baby too? Mama says they can hear now.”

Your heart absolutely sores at how much they care for their younger sibling, and you’re sure Jason’s is doing the same, “I would love to.” Jason puts his hand on his belly just as he does hundreds of times a day, “You have a good night, little one.” The baby kicks against Jason’s hand, seeming to be the only Sudeikis child that recognized the face, or rather the voice, behind the beard. The three of you walk Santa to the front door, the man sheepishly asking if he can leave that way instead of the way he came in. He says goodbye to the kids once more before turning to you, “And good night to you, almost Mrs. Sudeikis.” You knowingly smirk at him, “Night Santa, I’ll see you later when you’re sliding down my chimney.” Jason’s cheeks redden immensely under the beard as he shuffles out the door, Otis and Daisy excitedly discuss what just happened and how excited they were to tell their dad when he got back from the store.

The three of you sat on the couch of the family room, all cuddled up while finishing Frozen when Jason entered the house, dropping a backpack stuffed with a red suit in his office before making his way to the room you sat in, “Hey y’all, anything happen while I was gone?” Otis and Daisy shriek with excitement as they fling themselves off the couch and into the arms of their dad, talking over each other as they tell him every single detail of the celebrity visit that he missed. After 20 minutes of the kids filling in Jason, Daisy laying on his chest as she sat in his lap and Otis snuggled into your side as he sat in between you two, both let out large yawns. “How about we head up to bed? Then Santa can come back with all your presents.” 

Otis and Daisy tiredly nod in agreement with your suggestion, Jason picking Daisy up and heading out of the room with her as you and Otis follow, you moving more slowly up the stairs. After tucking the kids into Otis’s bed, having begged the past week for a Christmas Eve sleepover, you and Jason quietly leave the room, the exhausted duo already beginning to fall asleep. Before you can even suggest a plan for morning preparation, Jason spins you around by your hips, pulling you in for a deep kiss. He backs you against the hallway wall, pushing his thigh in between your legs, which elicits a soft moan from you. As quickly as it began, Jason pulls away as you both catch your breaths, “I’ll go get the presents under the tree, don’t worry about any of that. You just go get ready for bed, okay? Put on something more comfortable.” 

You nod slowly, not out of exhaustion but from already missing his lips on yours, “Mkay.” Jason turns around, heading towards the stairs before turning back to you, “Put on something red for me, baby?” A soft chuckle leaves your lips as you nod, “Anything for you Mr. Claus, you getting me a pony?” Jason shakes his head as he laughs, looking down at his feet as he licks his bottom lip, then looking back up at you, “No, but I’m getting you something to ride.”

[shuttershocky]

I want to write about how well Hypergryph translated the Rainbow operators’ gameplay from Siege into Arknights, because as a Rainbow Six Siege player I’m quite happy with how they did it and thought that the developers either did a ton of research, or are avid Siege players themselves. 

This doesn’t even include how much work went into using the characters for the event story, which was insane. Everything from the story direction (Siege started out as a realistic shooter about counterterrorism that eventually turned into mad sci-fi thus the direction of Originium Dust and its villain) to little character details (Blitz is the one mingling with the locals and learned to speak in Sargonian because part of his backstory is that he’s a linguist) were pulled off marvelously.

Before we begin, it is important to note that Rainbow Six Siege’s operators are split into Attackers and Defenders, which have completely different rosters. It’s an asymmetrical game. Attackers need to break in and capture an objective, while Defenders need to defeat all the attackers or stall until time’s up, and their gadgets and unique abilities serve their respective roles. Arknights’ collab has two attackers, Ash and Blitz, and two defenders, Frost and Tachanka.

Ash

Siege: In Siege pubs, Ash is often the first one busting in. Notoriously fast and difficult to hit, her gadget Breaching Rounds shoots a drill charge through any soft wall and then explodes, letting her crash through unreinforced walls, ceiling hatches, floorboards, etc. She’s aggressive and very easy to play with great guns, so along with her notoriously tiny head playing her is often joked as All Aim And No Brain.

Arknights: In Arknights, Ash’s offensive and fast playstyle gets translated into her talents and skills. Her second talent lowers her DP cost by 3 when she’s first deployed, making her initial cost extremely cheap for her rarity. She also gets a massive initial SP gain to use her skills faster, meaning bringing Ash in Arknights often means giving her an explosive, fast entrance where she drops in before anyone else and can use her firepower almost immediately. Her skill 2 is her R4C gun in Siege, having the exact same 31 bullet clip and the same devastating power with its high damage and fast firing rate. Her skill 3 is her breaching rounds gadget, with the same 2 shots only ammo limit that she does in-game. Unlike in Siege however where Ash uses it to smash open the level and attack from unforeseen places, Ash in Rhodes Island uses the Breaching Rounds as a straight up explosive weapon, though it still deals bonus damage for landing on a wall.

Blitz

Siege: If Ash attacks you by surprise, Blitz announces his arrival with his heavy footsteps and his tendency to go in through the front door. He’s currently the ONLY Siege operator with a shield that can sprint while protecting himself, meaning that his playstyle involves charging like a bull into the line of fire, shrugging off all bullets with his shield while praying that no one sprays his legs, and then bashing his shield into the first player he gets in melee range of. When the enemy’s experienced and tries to stay just out of shield-smashing range though, that’s when Blitz uses his gadget, an extremely bright light on his shield that flashbangs enemies and blinds them. few things are as scary as suddenly being blinded by Blitz, because anything can happen. You can try shooting wildly or randomly swinging your gun, in which case he can calmly walk up to you and bash you, or you can attempt to turn tail and run blind, in which case he can just shoot you in the back. Blitz’s job is to break defensive lines, take down Roamers (aggressive defenders who try to go for pickoffs like Caviera), and generally cause as much chaos as he can before he inevitably goes down in a hail of bullets and grenades. Not for the faint of heart.

Arknights: Arknights may have had the most difficult time translating Blitz, as a tower defense game means he has to stay stationary, while a Defender’s job is to create a defensive line, not break it. He is however, an extremely aggressive defender, with his talents encouraging him to attack stunned enemies for bonus damage while his Skill 2 gives him a ridiculous +200 attack speed after he bashes an opponent he’s blocking. Maybe the smartest thing HG did with him though, is make his Skill 1 only cost 15 SP at M3, with an initial SP of 15. That means Blitz can be hotdropped into the map and immediately flash someone with his shield, silencing and stunning them for a very hefty 4.5 seconds simulating his bullrush style of fighting. He’s rather popular in 1 tile /1 operator-only challenges or reactive strategies due to this, if not for his funny lines.

Frost

Siege: Frost is a very simple, straightforward Defender operator. While operators like Aruni or Wamai have sci-fi shit going on like cyborg arms, laser walls, and grenade-magnetizing frisbees, Frost brings a bunch of bear traps to defend the objective with (she’s a hunter from Canada after all). Her “welcome mats” often get placed next to windows or doorways, and if anyone steps on them, snap goes the trap and “OW MY LEG WHAT THE FUCK?!” goes the Attacker. Her welcome mats are able to instantly knock down any operator from full health and leave them with a sneeze’s HP remaining, making her a very feared Defender. Since her welcome mats are simple bear traps, they cannot be detected by any electronic scanners like IQ’s, and they cannot be disabled with EMP bombs from Thatcher. The only way to deal with a welcome mat is to destroy it with bullets and explosions, but that just tells Frost you’re here...

Arknights:  Frost is also equally simple. She has a lot of welcome mats, you step in it, and you take damage and stun / bind. If Frost has Skill 2 equipped and an enemy steps on her mat while in her attack range, they also take a shotgun to the face, just like they would in Rainbow Six Siege (except it would probably her her SMG instead, Shotgun Frost users are rare in pubs from my experience)

Tachanka

Siege: Arguably the most beloved operator in R6 Siege, if not by pickrate, then definitely by memes. Tachanka has two identities, due to a major rework done to the character in 2020. HG being the madmen that they are, decided to translate both into Arknights. 

Pre-Rework: The Lord Tachanka was essentially a turret user. He put a big shield and stand on his LMG, picked a spot, deployed his LMG, and then shredded any Attacker that tried to challenge him in a direct fight. His gun was powerful enough to tear open gaping holes through walls, and his shield meant that trying to take him head-on was rather suicidal. Unfortunately, being a stationary character in a tactical shooter is very bad for your health, especially when Siege allows you to open up walls, floors, and ceilings. It wasn’t uncommon for Tachanka to guard a location, then suddenly have the ceiling come crashing down from Ash’s Breaching Rounds and instantly get cut down from above. Additionally, Siege is a game with one hit kill headshots no matter the weapon, so even if Tachanka had a very big gun that dealt 55 damage in a game where people only have 100 HP, he stood still in a game where a peashooter could instakill him if he was taken by surprise, meaning he was never very powerful. Still, the players loved him, and actually winning with Tachanka felt glorious.

Post-Rework: In an effort to make him more viable, Ubisoft gave Tachanka a new gadget in the form of the Shumika launcher, a grenade launcher that fires... fire. Now an area denial operator like Smoke, Tachanka cuts off the Attacker’s paths by setting rooms ablaze, forcing them to take damage over time if they still wish to cross. In order to placate his fans, Reworked Tachanka got one of his regular guns removed in favor of having his classic LMG, now mobile and able to be carried around, though with the shields removed. Now Tachanka is, while not OP, quite respectable in the right hands, able to bounce his grenades to set you on fire from safe angles, while carving you up through walls, floors, and ceilings with his LMG if he knows you’re there. 

Arknights: If there’s anything Originium Dust makes clear, it’s that HG loves Tachanka. His post rework form is translated into his first skill being the Shumika launcher that lets him set the ground on fire and murder anything standing on it, while his Skill 2 is holding down the trigger on his LMG, just like all Siege players love to do. The stationary nature and shields of his pre-rework form have been translated into his talent, which increases his defense at the cost of increasing his redeployment time, while his unnaturally long range for a dualstrike Guard (He’s not a ranged Guard, he’s a dualstrike like Ch’en and Bibeak!) makes him the only Guard of his archetype that can hide behind a Defender’s shield while denying a long hallway, exactly like he does in Siege. 

[mrs-gucci]

Casting Couch {Charlie Barber x Reader}

author’s notes: hello, hello! I was driving home from work the other day and this idea just suddenly took over my entire thought process. so, naturally, I went ahead and wrote it up :)

warnings (what you see here is what you’ll get!): smut. the enemy of my enemy is my ally (with benefits). p in v sex. protected sex. rough oral sex. cum- swallowing.

(possible) tw’s: semi-public sex.

word count: 3.2k

charlie’s taglist peeps! {charlie currently doesn’t have any taglist peeps} my general taglist peeps! @frank-and-honey @shygirl268 @icarusinthesea​  @gildedstarlight​ @mrs-zimmerman @soldmysoulagain @roseepossee @pascalisfairyy​ @I-can’t-draw-faces @ahsoka1​ @babbushka​ @safarigirlsp​ (if you’d like to be added to or removed from any of my taglists, the link to the google form is HERE or on the top of my masterlist)

Two Years Ago.

“Y/N...she fucking did it again.” Nicole says as she barges through the door of hers and Charlie’s shared brownstone. “She got the fucking TV gig.”

Charlie’s eyebrows furrow a bit before looking up at his wife with an empathetic expression, setting the notebook and pen he’d been using down on the coffee table.

“Bummer. I really thought you had it in the bag.” He says, elbows on his thighs as he leans forward a bit, folding his hands. “There will be other roles; I wouldn’t worry too much. You win some, you lose some; that’s how it goes in this industry. You’ve taken plenty of roles from her.”

She sighs, nodding. “Yeah, I know, but this one I was excited about. And I really thought I had it, too. It just stung a little extra, you know?”

Her husband nods, patting the seat next to him on the couch. “C’mere, sit with me. We’ll have a glass of wine.”

Nicole gives somewhat of a dreadful grimace, a clear sign she really wasn’t interested. Charlie’s been noticing this for the past few months, her disinterest in being with him as much as she usually was, but he figured it was just her being tired. She’s been doing a lot of odd jobs to make some ends meet lately, so it’s probably a result of that.

“Are you sure?” He asks, a twang of longing sadness in his voice.

She nods. “Yeah, I’m just gonna go lay down for a bit.”

Charlie just nods, picking back up his notebook and pen, continuing to review and add to his notes from the day. 

“Let me know if you need anything.” He calls after her. “I love you.”

She only offers him a small smile over her shoulder in return before emerging into their bedroom, closing the door immediately behind her. 

Present Day.

It feels strange, holding auditions for a female lead. He hasn’t had to do so in almost a decade;  just yet another reminder of how much of his life has changed just in the past year.

The divorce had been painful, stressful, and he was honestly more relieved than anything when it finally came to a close, despite it not really turning out the way he’d hoped for in terms of custody over Henry. 

Luckily, he’s dove deeper into his one true love, directing, as a way to cope with the loss of everything he’d worked so hard to build for himself; the marriage, the 'American dream’ family and home he wished he’d had growing up.

Now, after six months of weekly therapy appointments and keeping himself busy with work, he’s feeling more like the old Charlie he was back before everything went to shit. Actually, he’s feeling like an even better version of that Charlie, the best version of himself there’s been in a while, perhaps even before he met and married Nicole.

The first audition comes onstage and Charlie can’t decide what’s worse, her off-pitch singing or her monotonous speaking voice. 

God, this was going to be a long fucking day.

-

You’d heard through the grapevine that the famed Broadway director had moved here to LA, and that he’d divorced his witch of a wife, Nicole. 

Nicole Barber had been your biggest rival ever since you swiped that first movie role away from her. She hates you, and you don’t particularly like her, either, thus your rivalry began. And it was pretty heated, too; the two of you were always trying to one-up each other.

It really was a back-and-forth battle, her swiping roles from you, you returning the favor; it was a game, to put it simply. Although lately, you’ve been getting more roles than she has, not that you’re complaining, and there’s a part of you that hopes she quits the business for good.

Word got around that Charlie is heading his first LA Broadway production and what better way to hit Nicole close to home than to show up at her ex-husband’s auditions? Even better, what if you got the female lead in her ex-husband’s production? Oh god, that would be fantastic, not only for the rivalry but also for your career.

You’ve been looking to branch out into more theater roles, and this is as good an opportunity as to dip your toe in the theater world water. Plus, you’re not necessarily complaining about having the chance to look at and work with Charlie Barber every day...

So you prepared your piece of dialogue and a section of one of the choice songs, heading over to the theater fifteen minutes before your set audition time. Your knee bounces as you sit in the waiting area, eyes running over your script and lyrics sheet one final time, solidifying it all in your memory.

Your name is called a few minutes later and you head out onto the stage, handing over your headshot and qualifications resume. The agent hands over your profile to the handsome director, but he doesn’t even really look at it, already knowing exactly who you are. A small smirk grazes his lips as he flips to a new page of his notebook, clicking the top of his pen.

“Whenever you’re ready, Miss Y/N.”

After you’re finished, Charlie scribbles one final thing in his notebook before looking up at you. His eyes trail over your figure for a moment, another smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Would you be comfortable coming back for a more intimate audition later this week? Maybe, Friday at four? I would like to get to know you better, see if you meet all of my... qualifications.”

The look in his eye tells you all you need to know about the true motivations behind his question. You nod, biting your lip.

“It’d be my absolute pleasure, Mr. Barber.” You purr.

He shifts in his seat suddenly and quickly crosses one leg over the other before opening up your folder, handing the top sheet to his assistant.

“Diane, go ahead and have Miss Y/N put down all of her contact information.” His gaze never leave you as he speaks to the timid-seeming young woman. “Make sure she gives her personal cell number.”

You pull a pen from your bag on the stage, clicking it open before Diane hands you the paper. As you write every means of contact you can think of, starting with your cell number, you playfully bite the end of the pen and tap it against your bottom lip, something that certainly keeps the already attentive director’s full attention.

“Thank you so much for this opportunity, Mr. Barber.” Your tone is innocent-sounding, but your gaze is anything but. It sends a chill down Charlie’s spine. “I promise I won’t disappoint.”

“Oh, I’m sure you won’t.” A small tug at one corner of his lip accompanies his response. “See you soon, Miss Y/N.”

You offer him a nod.

“Looking forward to it.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In preparation for your upcoming...meeting with Charlie, you take a quick trip to the nearest intimates store, picking up a pretty little lace bra and panty set. Your lingerie wardrobe is long overdue for a bit of sprucing up, anyway.

When the time comes, you slip the fresh lace garments on before putting on your planned outfit, a cute-but-subtly-sexy low cut romper. You put on a light face of makeup, purely for professionalism’s sake, then head out with a small bag which contains various personal items as well as your script and composition page.

He’s not in his backstage office when you arrive, but he comes in a couple minutes later, a strong stench of cigarette smoke trailing behind him as he walks by your chair.

“I apologize for the delay. You weren’t waiting long, were you?”

You shake your head as he takes a seat behind the ratty oak desk, shifting a few small stacks of papers around on the heavily scratched surface.

“No, no I wasn’t waiting long.”

He nods, then folds his hands atop the desk, eyes flickering up to meet yours. For a moment, his eyes dart down to where your cleavage creeps out of your low-cut top.

“You’ve got the part.” Charlie says with a small smile. “You’re by far the best and most qualified audition we had yesterday, and I like the way you carry yourself. You’re exactly the type of person I like working with. Part’s yours if you want it.”

You’re overcome with joy, a wide smile spreading itself across your lips. “I’d love to be a part of this production, Mr. Barber. I’m really excited to get to work with you and the rest of the crew.”

“That’s great, I’m glad to hear it.” He nods, smile widening when as he processes your acceptance. His delighted expression falls after a few moments, replaced by one much more salacious.

“Now that we’ve gotten that part out of the way...I think you know why I called a meeting of such, uh, privacy.”

You smirk softly, shifting around in your seat slightly. “I believe I do.”

His feet plant on the ground as he pushes the rolling office chair out from under the desk, standing up and walking around the desk to tower over you. 

“Before anything happens, though, I want you to know that whether or not you do this with me will not affect my casting decision. Even if you decline, you still have the part.”

You nod before standing, quickly and swiftly, stepping forward to press yourself flush against him.

“Charlie?”

“Yeah?”

Your hands rest on his chest, neck craning slightly to look up at him. “Just kiss me, will you?”

He laughs, massive hand moving to cradle the back of your head before he bends down and connects your lips in a passionate kiss. There’s nothing tender or gentle about this embrace, it’s all tongue and teeth, raw lust coursing between your two bodies.

“Couch.” His voice is soft but husky.

“Unzip me first?” You ask, turning around so he can unzip you. He does, then his hands slide down to your hips and pushes you towards the leather couch tucked in the corner of his office.

The material squeaks when you’re laid down on top of it, head resting comfortably on the cushy fabric accent pillow as he climbs on top of you. He presses his hips forward while he tucks his face into the crook of your neck and plants kisses on the skin there.

Your eyes widen as his impressive bulge rubs up against your inner thigh and you quickly wonder how in the world you’ll be able to take him. His crooked teeth scrape over the taut muscles in your neck while his hands pull the backs of your romper down over your shoulders.

His hands grab and grope your breasts beneath where they rest in your nice bra, one you wore just for him, and your back arches slightly up off the cushions with a soft sigh. 

A small smile crosses his expression, teeth sinking gently into your neck. “I like the little noises you make for me, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You smirk, running your hands through his hair. “Then I bet you’ll like my moans, too. If you think you can draw them out of me, that is.”

He laughs softly, sucking and licking at at the place his teeth have just abused. “Is that a challenge?”

“Well, it’s more like an invitation to prove yourself, but ‘challenge’ is also a good word for it.”

Charlie pulls away with a smirk, shaking his head as he sits back on his haunches and begins to unbuckle his belt.

“Brat.”

Once he’s undone his pants and pulled them down enough to expose himself to you, he leans down once more and pulls your romper the rest of the way off, leaving you completely bare, minus your undergarments. His eyes roam your figure for a moment before he dips a hand beneath the patch of black fabric nestled between your thighs.

Your breath hitches as his fingertips swipe over your erect clit, giving it a few little circles before yanking the panties off your hips and down your ankles, tossing them down alongside your previously-discarded romper.

His eyes widen in realization, cheeks flushing pink.

“Do you have any, um, protection?”

You smirk, nodding as you sit up and pat his chest. “Indeed, I do.”

He crawls off of you and you walk over to your purse, grabbing a condom from the mini-stash you keep in your wallet, the one you replenished just minutes before you left the house this afternoon. He takes it from you and pinches the tip, rolling it down his shaft. For a moment, you’re worried that it isn’t going to fit, but he rolls it on with little issue.

His hips press forward, then, entering you slowly but steadily with a soft grunt. You whine as your insides stretch out around him, hands reaching up to tangle in his hair.  “S-Shit.”

“You’re really fucking tight, jesus.” He growls between gritted teeth, jaw screwed shut as his hips begin to move. “I haven’t fffucked anyone in a while, Y/N, so I can’t guarantee that I’ll last very long.”

You nod, softly. “It’s alright, Charlie; it’s been a little while for muh--me, too.”

Your eyes flutter shut and your face begins to scrunch up with each time his fat cockhead brushes up against your cervix. His pace increases after a minute or so, a consistent slap-slap-slap noise now echoing off the drywall with each snap of his hips. 

“You’ve got a nice little pussy, you know that? Always knew you would be, too, knew you’d be a good little cccocksleeve.”

You moan shakily as he adjusts his position, towering over you and pinning your wrists above your head with one of his large hands. Your body begins to bounce, tits, thighs and tummy jiggling each time he thrusts in. 

He’s starting to sweat, a few dark hairs sticking to his dimly-glowing forehead, more and more accumulating there as his hair rocks back and forth in time with the rhythm of his hips.

“Touch yourself, now, rrrub your little clit.” His voice is getting shaky as he draws nearer to climax.

Nodding, your hand slides down between your joined bodies until your fingertips settle onto the small bundle of nerves. The hand that’s still weaved in Charlie’s locks clenches and he lets out a sudden deep growl, hips stuttering for a moment.

“Ooooh, Charlie.” You moan, hips lifting and gyrating against both his cock and your fingers.

“God, fffuck I love this cunt.” A vulgar squelching sound knits itself within the quilt of your salacious symphony. “Wrapped around my cock like a vice, gonna pull the fucking cum right out of it. Swear you get tighter each time I push back in...christ, I’m not gonna last.”

Your fingers circle your clit faster, setting a desperate pace, one that almost matches his quick and sloppy thrusts. You’re close now, too, and it doesn’t take much longer for your orgasm to hit.

You cream around him with a long moan and a string of various other noises, with a few profanities thrown in as well. The product of your release coats his shaft in a pearlescent sheen, dripping down his ball-sack soon enough. 

The sensations your climax creates around Charlie forces him to pull away almost immediately after, quickly yanking the condom off and onto his office floor, squeezing the base of his flaming red length. 

His hand seizes your jaw tightly, thumb pressing down on your tongue, prying your mouth open. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth and shove my cum down your throat, and you’re gonna take it all, isn’t that right?”

You’re nodding instantly, slacking your jaw to open even further in preparation for his upcoming intrusion. He smirks.

“Good. Now, on your knees.”

He sits down where you once laid, lazily pumping his throbbing length as you get into position between his spread legs. He pulls your hair up into a makeshift ponytail with his hand, then lines you up with his cock and eases your mouth down onto him.

“Thaaaaaat’s it, oh, gooooood girl.”

You start gagging about three quarters of the way down his shaft, but he still keeps pushing until you’ve got the whole thing in your mouth. Your jaw’s already getting sore as he begins thrusting upwards, fucking your mouth. 

Tears swell in your eyes and begin to spill down your cheeks the more he goes, mascara surely ruined and running down your face. The sight only arouses him further, a low groan rumbling through his puffed chest.

He’s trying so hard to keep himself together, to stave off his orgasm for as long as he can manage, but soon he finds it next to impossible to hold back. His bottom lip quivers ever so slightly as his length begins to twitch, balls drawing up.

“Fuck, I’m gonna--”

You taste and feel the salty ropes shooting down your throat before he can even finish his warning.

“Ah, fffuuuuck.” His head falls back against the couch cushions, hips bucking gently as each bit of release is spilled into your mouth. His grip on your head relaxes after he’s finished, cock softening while he catches his breath and re-grounds himself in reality.

Your chest heaves as full airflow returns to your lungs, knees and jaw aching a bit sore from their exertion. You grab your underwear from where they lay discarded on top of your romper, putting them back on before standing up on somewhat shaky legs. 

Charlie also redresses, standing and straightening himself out as you do the same. 

“Mind zipping me back up?” You ask, turning around again. 

He pulls the zipper up your back until it’s at the end of its tracks, then steps up behind you, placing a soft kiss to your shoulder blade.

“Thank you.”

A soft smile grazes your lips. “No ‘thanks’ needed; the sweet taste of revenge and spite is payment enough.”

He laughs quietly.

“Well, I’ll certainly be available, should you ever need a little replenishing of those feelings.”

“Mr. Barber, you wouldn’t be saying that because you’d like to see me naked again, now would you?” Your eyebrows raise and you look over your shoulder, a playful smile on your face.

He laughs again, blushing a bit. “Uh, yeah, sure, I'd like that a lot. But I’d also like to see you, um...not naked, fully clothed, maybe at a restaurant in the city for dinner sometime? I totally get it if you’re not interested, it’s not a big deal if you don’t want to...”

Holy shit, he’s asking you out on a date. Well, he’s trying to, at least.

You laugh, cheeks warming at his proposition.

“Sure thing. I just accepted this new job, though, so I’ll have to get back to you about my availability...”

Charlie smiles, shoving his hands down in his khaki pockets. “I’m sure your new boss would be more than willing to accommodate. He’s a pretty cool guy, or so I’ve heard. Handsome, too.”

“Oh yeah? Sounds like you have a reliable informant.” You turn around as you laugh softly, grabbing your bag off the chair before stepping up in front of him. Your lips plant a quick peck on his, hands resting on his broad chest. “See you soon.”

He nods, biting his lip to hold back his big, goofy smile.

“Can’t wait.”

[xjoonchildx]

airplane, pt. 2 | jjk x reader chapter one: ICN --> LAX

pairing: jungkook/reader word count: 6.4K rating: 18+

genre: smut | silly smut | nonsensical smut

warnings:  criminal!jungkook, koreanamerican!jungkook, highly improbable condom placement, unrealistic use of available sex space, reality has left the chat, plausibility has left the chat

Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

artwork by the shmexy @ppersonna​ who’s smut is even better than her art

*************************

One day it works out too well, then the next day I’m completely screwed (I still) Who should I live as today, Kim Namjoon or RM? 25, I still don’t know how to live well So, today as well, we just go -- Airplane, Pt. 2 BTS

**************************

Jungkook Jeon is basically your Carmen Sandiego.

You stare down at the photocopy of the state of California driver’s license in your hand, into the face of the brash little fucker you’ve been chasing across the globe for the better part of a year.

He looks barely old enough to drive.

Of course, this picture was taken years ago when he was a sophomore at Stanford. Back before he dropped out of school despite being in the top of his class. Back before he broke the law by taking six million dollars of someone else’s money, then broke his parents’ hearts by disappearing without a trace.

You should already have him in custody — and If he were like any of the other greedy assholes you usually chase, he would be. But instead, Jungkook Jeon has managed to deflect and dodge and avoid you at every turn for months.

It’s driving you fucking insane.

One time, you’d been so certain about cornering him in Argentina that you’d boarded a plane with a pair of thick-necked US Marshals and flown south. You’d had to head back to the States empty-handed and sunburnt and pissed.

The real kicker was when you’d gotten home and opened a one-line email – encrypted to hell and back – with a picture of your FBI Academy graduation headshot attached.

you’re so hot i almost want to get caught. almost.

That had hurt.

So you’d had to lick your wounds, bide your time and wait for a man who apparently didn’t make mistakes to make a mistake. And for a while, he didn’t.

Until he did.

************************************** 

Agent Kim Namjoon is definitely not the pencil pusher you imagined him to be during your many phone calls and other interactions.

No, the man who meets you and your team at Incheon International Airport is what the kids these days call a snack. He is tall and broad and wears a pair of dark thick-rimmed glasses that should make him look like a giant nerd but somehow don’t.

Very, very cute.

“Welcome to Korea,” he says with an easy smile. You smile back, then clear your throat and remind yourself you’re not here to flirt with your contact with Korea’s National Intelligence Service.

Seriously.

Agent Kim’s English is immaculate – this you already knew since you’ve exchanged more than a few calls in recent weeks. He’s got his own team ready for briefing at his headquarters. After a quick drive, you’re all in one room going over the plan.

His guys have tracked Jeon to a high-end restaurant in Seoul where he’s been working for a few months. They already have a rough sketch of the area. You’re going to block off every exit, cover every angle, and make sure there’s no way he’s getting out of that restaurant without coming through one of you.

This should go off without a hitch – but then you remember Argentina and frown.

“He’s there. My guys are ready to go,” Agent Kim says, after taking a quick call on his cell phone.

It’s decided, then.

You load into black vans and take off for the west end of the city. Agent Kim drives and you have the chance to look out the window at the streets. It’s a beautiful place, you think. Agent Kim seems to read your mind.

“You should come back sometime,” he says. “When you’re not here on business.”

Sigh. You’re going to have to flirt with this man, aren’t you?

“I would like that. Maybe you could show me around some time,” you reply.

His eyes stay on the road – his hands locked at 10 and 2 – but you see the ghost of a smile pass over his lips. You smile to yourself and look back out the window.

Minutes later you’re parked outside an industrial-looking brick building. Gleaming glass-and-stone condos and perfectly manicured greenscaping confirm you are in a high-dollar neighborhood. It’s a Saturday night in a ritzy part of Seoul and you’re probably about to ruin someone’s date night.

Or maybe rescue it, depending on the date.

You stare out at the restaurant and imagine Jungkook Jeon inside, going about his life without realizing you’re here to throw a wrench into all his plans. You get a little thrill when you imagine the look on his face when he realizes the gig is up. Victory is so close you can taste it.

Agent Kim gets a call from his point man, everyone is in place.

Showtime.

******************************

“Is that consommé? It looks like consommé. What do you think, Agent Kim?”

Jungkook Jeon looks shaken for a moment when you step in front of the table where’s he’s just laid out a picture-perfect pair of starters. His guests, a nicely-dressed older couple, also look shaken as they glance nervously between you, Agent Kim, and their now permanently off-duty server.

He straightens to his full height.

The youthful roundness of the face you’ve stared at so long in that driver’s license picture is gone. You have no idea what this guy’s been eating for the past few years, but in place of that baby-faced kid is a man, tall and broad and muscular. Tattoos you can’t make out run across his hands, up his arms, and disappear into the white dress shirt he has rolled to the elbows. His hair is on the long side, pulled back, giving you an unobstructed view of what can only be described as a perfect face. Serious, literal perfection.

Good grief.

Somehow the little shit recovers from his shock in an instant. He smirks, despite his clear disadvantage.

“I gotta say, you look even better in person.”

Oh yeah? So do you.

You ignore his opening line.

“It’s time to come home, Mr. Jeon. Pay the piper and all that.”

He has the nerve to roll his eyes and your hand itches with the desire to punch him in his stupid fucking perfect face.

“Teamed up with some Korean suits, huh?” He gives Agent Kim the once-over and apparently finds him lacking.

“Mr. Jeon,” you feign a scandalized tone. “Just how do you think I was raised? It would be downright rude to barge into a sovereign country without an invitation. Besides, Agent Kim here has been an absolute pleasure.”

You could hear a pin drop inside this restaurant right now. Every knife and fork and glass has come to rest on the fine white linen on these tables. The guests are frozen in place, taking in the strange scene.

Dinner and a show tonight, guys.

Jungkook doesn’t move an inch. You’d half expected him to just walk up, accept his cuffs and get this show on the road. But no, apparently he’s in a talking mood.

“Tell me how you found me.”

You sigh. You’re not a pair of girlfriends catching up over coffee. You open your mouth to say just that, but Agent Kim speaks up.

“We had a source come through with some very specific information on you.”

“Oh, I think Agent Kim is being far too kind,” you counter. “What he means to say is that your Korean sucks. You see, Mr. Jeon, you may look like them,” you gesture at the restaurant full of guests, “but you sound like us. Let’s just say you stick out like a sore thumb here.”

The corners of his eyes crinkle in amusement at the jab.

“I hated Korean school, you know.”

“It shows.”

He laughs.

Agent Kim clears his throat as if to remind you both that you’re not alone.

“Well this isn’t a social call, and I’m sure all these fine people would love to get back to their meals. So why don’t we finish this chat on the way back to the United States, Mr. Jeon?” you say, getting back to the task at hand.

Agent Kim signals his guys and they swoop in to put him in cuffs. He doesn’t resist, just holds out his hands and shoots you his most flirtatious smile.

“I’m going to hold you to that, Agent.”

On your way out the door, you glance over at the consommé and hope it’s supposed to be served cold.

**********************************

“What is a man who stole six million dollars doing waiting tables at a restaurant?” you muse out loud.

Jungkook Jeon is in the backseat of Agent Kim’s black SUV, looking out the window.

“I had to have some kind of story, right? Besides, I kind of liked it.”

“You didn’t get to spend the money,” you say.

“Not really,” he admits. “It’s much easier to fantasize about blowing millions of dollars than it is to actually do it.”

“Tsk, tsk, Mr. Jeon. What a shame.”

He leans forward in the backseat, hands cuffed in front of him.

“You know what would really be a shame, Agent? If I don’t get the chance to fuck you before you lock me up.”

A muscle twitches in Agent Kim’s jaw.

“Watch your mouth,” he warns, glaring into the rearview mirror. You immediately decide you like him a little stern. It’s pretty hot.

“Mr. Jeon, you and your dick will be free to do whatever you’d both like in about twenty years. That’s how this whole grand larceny and evasion thing works,” you say, ignoring the sensation that spreads across the back of your neck at his crass words.

He whistles.

“I’m really going to waste my best-looking years in prison.”

No kidding.

“Oh, don’t be too disappointed,” you say sweetly. “I hear there are a few advantages to having such a pretty face behind bars.”

You hear the clink of his cuffs and look into your rearview just in time to see him give you the finger.

*********************************

The government can be so cheap sometimes.

You’d have loved to pull right up to the tarmac at Incheon International, walk right onto a chartered plane like the Feds do in the movies. But alas, private flights are definitely not in the budget.

Instead, you have to settle for regular seats on a Korean Air flight. You’d been in touch with the airline ahead of time and they’d offered you and your team privacy in the back rows of the plane – complete with a curtain separator. You really couldn’t blame them for not wanting passengers to be greeted by a handcuffed man and his gun-toting babysitters.

Smart move all around.

Seating arrangements are decided, you and Jungkook on one side of the aisle, your two Marshals on the other. They’re both smart men, highly-skilled and boring as hell. You’d already had to suffer through their small talk on the fourteen-hour long flight here, and you’d be damned if you had to do it again on the way back.

“Are you going to let me have a drink?” Jungkook asks, as soon as you’re settled into your seats.

“Of course,” you reply, scrolling through a few emails on your phone. “What’s your favorite kind of juice?”

He snorts.

“It’s gonna be a long flight unless you play nice,” he warns.

“Mr. Jeon,” you sigh. “Shut up.”

He shakes his handcuffs.

“You could at least take these off,” he grumbles. “Not like I can walk off of a moving plane.”

“Nope,” you reply, affecting your best bored tone. You grab a magazine out of the seatback and pretend to leaf through it.

“So you want me to sit here – no phone, no headphones, no nothing – for fourteen hours?”

“Better to practice that ‘bored out of your mind’ routine sooner rather than later. I’m sure it’s gonna come in handy.”

You don’t look his way, but you can feel the glare he’s fixed on you and you have to fight the urge to smile.

******************************

The flight attendant who rolls a giant drink cart into your quiet section of this plane looks like a doll. Porcelain skin, huge eyes and the whitest smile you have ever seen.

Jungkook straightens in his seat immediately. He’s been pouting for the last hour but now he sees this dazzling young woman and his game face is back on.

“Hello,” he says, flashing her a smile.

Then he stops — seems to remember his audience — and resumes the exchange in Korean. You stare at him as he makes eyes at the flight attendant, working her with the confidence of a man who is not wearing handcuffs right now.

She blushes deeply at something he says before turning back to her cart to pour a Jack and Coke.

“Are you serious, Jeon?”

He smiles.

“You don’t hate me, right? Like, obviously I’ve pissed you off, but you don’t hate me. Because only a person who hated me would stop me from having a drink on my way to federal prison.”

You open your mouth to protest, but instead decide that he’s right. He’s a thief – not a killer for pete’s sake.

A super-hot, ridiculously charming, complete asshole of a thief who is definitely not getting under your skin by flirting with the flight attendant right now.

The porcelain doll turns back and hands him his cocktail and Jungkook winks at her. This man just accepted his drink with his hands in fucking handcuffs and this woman is blushing at him like he just asked for her number in a nightclub.

“Are you done?” you hiss.

“With what?” he asks innocently, cuffs clinking as he lifts the drink to his mouth.

“Eye-fucking the flight attendant.”

He feigns shock. “Are you – are you…jealous?”

You scoff and turn your attention back to your magazine.

He leans close.

“Don’t be jealous,” he says, blowing whiskey-scented breath into your ear. “I wanted you first. I’m only flirting with her because you’re really mean to me.”

He leans back and takes another sip of his drink.

There is something about this mischievous boy-man with the chiseled body and the smart mouth. He certainly has a charm. You’re certain he’s been able to use that charm to get out of more than a few sticky situations over the years.

“I wasn’t kidding you know,” he says. “About wanting to fuck you.”

He shakes the ice in his glass to show off that he’s already drained it and gives you another one of those self-assured smiles that’s really starting to piss you off. You drop your gaze back to your magazine.

“I’m not going to fuck you,” you state simply, pretending to have a deep interest in some blurb about face masks.

“No? Are you sure about that?”

“You are mind-bogglingly arrogant for a man who is headed to prison for the next two decades,” you reply dryly.

“Probably headed to prison,” he corrects. “Innocent until proven guilty, due process and all that. Unless things have changed? I realize it’s been a while since I’ve been home.”

You snort.

“Okay fine, you’re right. I’m headed to prison for the next twenty years which is why it’s imperative that you fuck me now. Immediately. Anything else would be,” he gives a dramatic shake of his head, “Inhumane.”

This time you can’t help but laugh and one of the Marshals across the aisle gives you a disapproving look, like he’s been forced to chaperone a pair of giggling teenagers.

You clear your throat and look back down at your magazine, force the smile off your face.

“Argentina,” you say. “How did you get out of there before I got to you?”.

The flight attendant returns with another drink and another smile for him.

“You want something, I want something,” he says, taking a long sip. “Maybe we could work something out?”

“I’m not going to fuck you for information, Jeon. All of that will soon come out in the wash,” you sigh.

“Then fuck me for charity. For good will. Fuck me because it’s the least you can do since you’re blowing up my entire life right now.”

You roll your eyes.

“You blew up your life, you idiot. You’re the one who intercepted a wire transfer and stole six million bucks. You’ve already been fucked. You fucked yourself.”

He smiles wistfully for a moment.

“Yeah, you’ve got a point there.”

*******************************

You stop him at three drinks.

His eyes have taken on a soft quality and his entire energy is a bit more relaxed with some booze in his system. It’s hard, it’s really hard to ignore how hot this man is without even trying.

But when he tries? Then it’s damned near impossible.

You check your watch. You still have seven hours to go on this flight.

“Luck,” he says, suddenly.

“Excuse me?” you say, looking up from your magazine.

“You wanted to know how I got out of Argentina in time. I was gonna make up some fancy story about how I’d figured out you were on to me and beat the clock to get away but the truth is, I was just lucky. I’d already been there too long and I was getting restless. I was ready to go.”

Hmm. So the booze has made him talkative.

“Your landlord said we’d missed you by one day,” you counter.

“Yup,” he laughs, closing his eyes momentarily as if reliving the thrill of the chase. “I used to have a lot of luck, actually. Before I ran into you.”

“Sorry about that.”

“No you’re not.”

“Fair enough,” you say and the two of you share a laugh. You open a bag of pretzels and offer him one. He begrudgingly accepts.

“Why did you take the money?”

He chews thoughtfully for a moment.

“Because I wanted to know if I could. I didn’t think I was gonna pull it off, but again, it was my luck. Once I figured out how to do it, I just did.”

“How remarkably stupid,” you breathe, a smile on your face. He smiles, too.

“Yeah, well. I said I was lucky, not smart.”

“Oh, but you are smart, Mr. Jeon, and don’t think you’ve convinced me otherwise. Your transcript from Stanford tells a very interesting story. What did your parents say when you dropped out at the top of your class and went to work at a gas station?”

The sarcastic back-and-forth screeches to a halt. For the first time, you see darkness pass over his face.

“Don’t ask me about my parents,” he says curtly. “I’ll tell you whatever else you want to know, but that shit is none of your business.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, and this time you mean it.

He shifts to his side, away from you, and looks out the window.

You sit quiet, thinking for a minute – but after a while you both fall asleep.

********************************************

You wake to Jungkook nudging you.

“Get up,” he says urgently. “I have to piss.”

You groan, trying to clear the fog from your brain and glance at your watch. Still four more hours to go on this flight.

“Like now,” he says, bouncing one leg to ward off the sensation.

You get up, stretch out, and wait for him to stand but then realize he’s waiting for you to help him since it’s an awkward fit in the seats with his handcuffs. Instead of making a snarky comment, you just offer your hand and a slight smile.

Very unlike you.

“Thanks,” he says, straightening out, stretching his legs. One of the Marshals raises an eyebrow at you.

“He has to use the bathroom,” you say, stilling the man with a raised hand when he makes to stand. “It’s alright, I need to stretch, too. I’ll walk him down there.”

The Marshal looks skeptically from Jungkook to you and back.

“It’s fine, Agent,” you say, a little annoyed. “It’s not like he can go anywhere, right?”

“Right,” Jungkook says, still bouncing that leg.

The Marshal gives you a look that makes clear he doesn’t approve, but he’s not going to stop you.

You walk behind Jungkook as he makes his way past the curtain, down the aisle and towards the bathroom. It’s a half-empty flight, and you’re glad for it when you see people staring at his handcuffs. You don’t know what’s gotten into you, but you can’t help but feel a little embarrassed on his behalf when you hear them whispering in Korean. At least you don’t know what they’re saying.

The firm set of Jungkook’s mouth makes you think he wishes that were the case for him, too.

“Just uh, give me a minute,” he says, when you reach the bathroom.

It turns out to be a lot longer than a minute.

You’re half tempted to bang on the door and demand to know why he’s taking so long. Maybe the Marshal was right to be suspicious of Jungkook. Maybe he figured out a way off this plane through the toilet.

You’re bouncing your own leg impatiently when he finally reappears.

“What took you so long?” you ask, annoyed.

“You ever try to take your pants and underwear off while handcuffed?” he asks. “You know what — never mind, don’t answer that. You’ll start giving me ideas.”

Ah. He’s back, then.

Part of you is a little relieved to hear his smart-ass mouth again. You feel a hell of a lot less guilty around this version of him.

“Listen, I did a little recon and it’s a tight fit, but there’s definitely enough room for us to fuck,” he says, face comically serious. “And we’re running out of time for you to pull the trigger, so what’s it going to be?”

“Ugh. You’re foul,” you say, pulling a face.

“But you kind of like it,” he shoots back.

He’s right, though. You kind of do.

***********************

Clearly you’ve lost your mind.

Pheromones have short-circuited all the portions of your brain that control logic, reason, and risk. That’s the only plausible explanation for why you are slumped into your seat right now, legs pressed together tight, imagining fucking Jungkook Jeon in an airplane bathroom.

Sympathy and curiosity and more than a little horniness are making for a strange mix. You reason to yourself — as if you are actually entertaining this madness — that he’s not a convicted felon, just an accused one. There’s gotta be a loophole in the FBI handbook somewhere.

“You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” Jungkook asks, leaning close — a smile playing over his lips.

“Shut up.”

“You are,” he whispers in a scandalized tone. “I mean with these on, I’m not going to be able to do my best work, obviously, but I’ve done more with less. Unless you want to take them off,” he says, rolling his wrists in the handcuffs.

“I already told you, I’m not taking those off,” you say sharply.

“Alright, alright. Keep it kinky. I can roll with that.”

”Shut up, Jeon.”

He gestures across his mouth like he’s zipping it shut and throwing away the key and you fight the urge to laugh.

“If I decided to fuck you, and I’m not saying I would,” you hiss, “I would have to stuff a sock into that smart mouth of yours just to not have to hear it.”

He laughs and his face looks so young and relaxed it takes your breath away a little.

“Make it your underwear and we have a deal,” he winks.

You pick up another magazine and get back to actively trying to ignore him and that annoying pulse between your legs.

*************************

Two hours left to Los Angeles.

You glance over at your guard dogs, who’ve both knocked out after a snack. One has a newspaper draped fully over his face, grandpa style.

You should have ordered a drink. You should have ordered six. That way, if you’re ever called to the carpet about the decision you’re about to make, you can blame it on alcohol-induced psychosis. Because the Marshals are asleep and you feel bad for Jungkook Jeon and he’s so hot you can barely think straight at this point. You take a deep breath and make a decision.

Fuck it.

You stand quietly, motioning to Jungkook with a finger over your lips. For a moment, his brows knit together in confusion but that look passes almost as quickly as it came. Then his entire face breaks out into a wide grin.

“Yeah?” he whispers.

“Shut up,” you whisper back, through gritted teeth.

You hold out your hand to help him to stand and when he grips it, he rubs his the pad of his thumb across your wrist. You try to ignore the sizzle of arousal he manages to drum up with that brief touch.

Quietly, you both walk past the curtain, past sleeping passengers and back to the clean but cramped bathroom where you are about to do the dumbest shit you have ever done.

You glance around at the passengers nearby and notice only one older man, eyes wide on the two of you. You shoot an excuse-me-sir-this-is-official-government-business look at him before following Jungkook into the tiny space.

You lock the door and turn to face him.

“Glad you finally came around,” he says, immediately backing you into the door. His mouth goes right for your neck and he pushes his entire body into yours in this tiny space. He is large and warm and he smells way better than he should after working a restaurant shift, being arrested, and then being jammed into a plane seat for hours.

His lips work up the column of your throat and his hands, still secured in front of him, push uselessly into the front of your lightweight wool dress. Shame, really, that you couldn’t take him out of these. You’d love to feel those hands right about now.

“I wasn’t kidding about keeping your mouth shut,” you manage to say, breathless at the feel of his mouth on your skin. “Don’t make me change my mind.”

The vibration of his laughter tickles the shell of your ear.

“I’ll be a good boy, I promise,” he says. “I just need to get my face under this dress.”

Your brain stutters for a moment, hung up on the mental image. He drops to his knees in front of you, lifts his hands to try and push up the front of the almost-too-tight garment but his handcuffs make it impossible. You graciously help him out, hiking the hem up your thighs. You’re about to work your underwear down, but he’s impatient, burying his face directly into the wet satin and inhaling deeply.

“Fuck, you smell amazing,” he groans, nosing the aching nub between your thighs. You’re glad he can’t see the way your mouth drops open when he licks out at the damp material, teasing you with the barest hint of friction.

“Help me out here,” he moans, and you do just that, sliding your panties down as best you can with the amount of space you’ve got.

At this angle, you can only get them down to your knees, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to care. He pushes his entire face into you, lips and teeth and tongue driving into you, working you with a fervor that makes your knees start to wobble. You grab a handful of his hair to steady yourself but it’s no use. Absently, you realize the tremors running up and down your body are rattling the door.

“Nice to know that mouth is good for more than just trash talk,” you tease on deep exhale. He laughs.

“Maybe some day you’ll get the chance to enjoy the full-service experience.”

“Probably not, Jeon,” you moan. “This is just a one-time favor, got it?”

All the blood in your brain has taken a dive into parts lower south and you marvel at how quickly your impending orgasm is coming on. But then, you’ve basically had about ten hours of foreplay up to this point, so maybe it’s not that surprising.

That damned door keeps rattling and you just know the little old man on the other side is probably staring it down. You’re not sure what it says about you that you think that’s kind of hilarious.

Your body jolts when Jungkook wraps his lips around your clit and sucks so hard you see stars. “You’re the one about to come on my face in an airplane bathroom,” he groans, licking obscenely between words. “So who’s doling out favors right now?”

Well, that does it.

The second he brings his lips and tongue back to your clit, you fall apart, gripping his hair so hard you’re certain it has to hurt. You pour all your energy into not screaming as your orgasm steamrolls you, and whatever energy you have left goes into trying to stay upright. Jungkook stays face-first in your heat, lapping up your release until the last tremors shake you and that goddamned door.

“Shit,” your voice is shaky, chest heaving when you finally make a sound.

“You are very, very fucking hot,” Jungkook says, breathless from where he sits on the floor. “Way too hot to be a Fed.”

You laugh.

“Well you are definitely too hot to be a criminal, but here we are, huh?”

Your eyes slide down to his glinting handcuffs, but they aren’t what’s catching your attention. Instead, your gaze heads right to the giant bulge straining against the front of his jeans. Turnabout is fair play, and you’re suddenly very eager to return the favor.

You help him stand and immediately seal your mouth to his, tasting yourself on his lips. Your fingers fumble past his restraints, underneath to where you can feel the button of his jeans and you undo it as fast as you can. He stops kissing you long enough to groan into your mouth when your hands slip into his boxers and your fingers wrap around his cock. He is hot and thick and hard in your hand. You squeeze around him, enjoying the way his hips jerk in response.

“Don’t tease,” he whines. “I’m gonna have to fantasize about this blowjob for the next twenty years.”

“I’d better make it memorable then,” you say, sinking down to your knees in the cramped space. You shove his jeans off his hips and look up at him as you gently push his boxers down and over his straining cock. His body is rock hard, lean muscle and defined lines running from his shapely legs up to his cuffed wrists and underneath that white shirt you’d love to peel off but can’t.

His head falls back the second your lips touch his swollen head. You tease it for a moment with a few quick licks, but decide this is really not the time to be dragging this out. The strangled “fuck” he whispers when you take him down fully is the sweetest and dirtiest thing you’ve heard in a while.

You manage to catch his gaze for a moment as you maintain a steady rhythm on his cock with your hands. His eyes are glassy with drinks and arousal, and you nearly have to slip a hand between your legs when his tongue slips out of his mouth to wet his lips.

He lifts and drops his handcuffs a couple of times before growling his frustration at not being able to put his fingers in your hair. You feel a faint throb of sympathy for him for a moment before reminding yourself that you literally have your mouth around his cock so frankly, things could be a lot worse for him than they are right now.

“You gotta stop,” he says, after a few minutes of the slow, wet torture. You release him with a soft pop and a confused expression.

“It’s your last blowjob for twenty years, Jeon. You want me to stop?”

“No, no,” he says quickly. “I have to fuck you. Please let me fuck you. It’s all I can think about,” he whines.

“You can’t,” you say firmly. “No condoms.”

He blows out a heavy breath like he’s thinking for a moment and there you are, on your knees in this tiny bathroom, confused as to what your next step should be.

“Look around,” he says suddenly.

“What?”

“Look – people fuck in airplane bathrooms all the time, right? It’s a thing. Maybe someone out there pulled some hero shit and is looking out for the next person.”

“This bathroom,” you say skeptically, “is the size of a goddamned shoebox, Jeon. You think we’re going to magically scrounge up a condom?”

“Just look,” he implores through gritted teeth.

“Fine,” you huff, leaning over to pop the cabinet under the sink open. You put one searching hand inside and pull out three sanitary pads that look like they were packaged in the 1970s.

He groans, frustrated.

“Hang on,” you say, jamming your hand back inside. Your fingertips brush up against something smooth and you fish it out, eyes wide with utter disbelief.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you say, more to yourself than to him.

You hold the condom packet up for him to inspect.

“Holy shit,” he breathes, cock jerking at the sight of it, like it knows he’s just hit the jackpot.

He laughs so hard for a moment you fear this entire encounter has gone entirely off track.

“My luck is back,” he declares triumphantly, finally. “Now, please hurry up and get on my dick.”

You’re shaking your head in disbelief the entire time you’re ripping the packet open, rolling it down Jungkook’s impossibly still-hard cock. He’s breathing hard, body tense with anticipation when you slide your heels off to take your underwear off completely.

“The heels,” he groans, watching as you slip your panties over your ankles. “Can you — you know…keep ‘em on?”

“Ugh, you are such a pervert,” you scold, slipping your feet back into the shoes and leaning back to line him up with your entrance. He surges forward and you moan at the stretch as he fills you entirely in one thrust.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, dropping his head into the crook of your neck, already rolling his hips frantically against you. “Shit, that’s incredible.”

And truthfully, it is. The ledge of the sink is biting into your ass with every thrust and you’re having to do most of the work given his handcuff situation but you really don’t even care because he still feels amazing like this.

He mouths uselessly at the wool covering your breasts because there’s no way to get to them. You nearly admonish him because he’ll leave crude wet spots on the fine material, but you decide against it.

“Oh, I bet you have amazing tits,” he groans, hips maintaining a steady rhythm. “Giving me something to look forward to for next time.”

“There won’t be a next time, Jeon. And there won’t be a this time if you don’t hurry up already,” you shoot back.

He laughs, a little breathless from exertion. “I’m close, I promise. Fuck, you feel so good.”

You squeeze tighter around him, push harder back against him, angle your hips a bit more to ensure he’s going to the hilt with every thrust. The guttural sound he makes in response sends a shiver up your back.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasps after a moment, mouth covering yours as his hips begin to stutter at the first ebbs of his release. Your ass is numb from the sink ledge at this point, legs tired from supporting your weight and his.

“So come then,” you tease, biting gently on the sensitive skin at his pulse point. He groans from deep inside his chest as he lets go – hips jerking as he pumps himself through it.

“Shit,” he groans, leaning on you with his full weight.

“You are crushing me Jeon,” you complain, pushing at his chest with both hands. He chuckles. “Yeah, sorry about that. Balance is a little off at the moment.”

You open your mouth to shoot another sarcastic comment his way, but there is something about the way he is looking at you right now that stops you short.

You clear your throat, uncomfortable with the tiny glimpse into whatever that was.

“Well, as much as I’d love to ruminate on how good this was,” you say, shifting your dress back down and making a beeline for your underwear, “We’ve been in here an insane amount of time already. There’s probably a line outside the door.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, a little too quiet for your liking.

So you put yourself back together and help put him back together, too.

And strangely, when you open the door to leave there is no line. But that little old man is still watching, a look of astonishment on his face as you both walk past.

***********************************

“Listen, are you sitting down right now?”

You frown at the phone display in your office because any conversation that starts with an opening line like that is headed south.

“Uh…yeah. Why?”

“Hang on, I’m coming to your office.”

Seconds later, Agent Novak bursts through the door.

“So you haven’t seen it,” he says, rushing up to your desk.

“Seen what, Novak? Spit it out,” you say, frustrated already.

“Check your email,” he says, arms crossed over his chest. He looks fit to burst with some kind of excitement and your chest already feels a little tight at whatever it is he’s dying to show you.

You click into your email to find an urgent bulletin that you’d missed because you were working on a stack of papers on your desk, not your computer. The subject line makes your heart hammer.

URGENT MEMO: Fugitive Search, Jungkook Jeon

ATTACHED VIDEO FILE

“The guy just walked out of a federal courthouse like he was on an afternoon stroll. Had on a suit and everything,” Novak says, a note of awe in his voice. “Check out the video.”

Your mouth is already hanging open before you even click on the attached CCTV footage. A camera inside the courthouse shows Jungkook Jeon walk out of a bathroom in the front lobby, dressed like an attorney, not a defendant. His long hair is cut into a more professional style, his suit covers his tattoos and he looks entirely in place.

Novak is right – he walks so casually past the guards and other visitors that no one even thinks to stop him.

“Word is, court was on a lunch break and it looks like he had everything ready to go. Walked into a waiting Uber and vanished like smoke.”

You haven’t said a word since Novak walked in with this bombshell.

You just watch the CCTV footage over and over again in a loop, willing your brain to accept what your eyes can see clear as day.

This motherfucker.

Guess his luck really is back.

***************************

[agathaharknes]

yennaia + gamer au

This was supposed to be three sentences and definitely not crack but I just had to... sksjsjssksjjs.

Yennaia prompt: Gamer AU.

LINK TO ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN IN THE REPLIES.

Word count: 1.8k+ Pairing: Yennaia. Rating: T.

Tissaia really had no idea why she was doing this. Perhaps to appease Rita. Perhaps because her addiction to nicotine had worsened over the course of one year of a bloody Continent-wide pandemic and she was loath to use her credit card every time she needed a new pack of cigarettes. Perhaps she was going through a midlife crisis to cope with the fact that being the Chancellor of Aretuza College was already stressful enough without half the generations there trying to fool her subordinates into thinking cardboard replicas or even mannequins counted as attendance or simply because the rest of the Board of Governors (Stregobor) couldn't differentiate between what could be said through an email and what required her to clean her entire house so the background of her call was pristine.

Her controller vibrated in her hands, (Why, for the love of the Gods, couldn't that setting be turned off?) her knuckles turning white from gripping it so strongly. "Oh, for fu- heaven's sake." There, she had been ambushed. Again. A funny and wholly unexpected thing happened, though, one of the users turned on her companions, offing the lot of them with clean headshots the brunette definitely couldn't pull off in the span of twenty seconds.

"Uhh..." What does one say when your virtual saviour just betrayed her entire party on a whim and was being cursed at obnoxiously loudly and vulgarly for it?

Yennefer ignored Sabrina calling her names that absolutely applied to her and her hormonal reaction to a lovely blue-eyed MILF the likes of which she had only seen in her dreams. "No thanks needed, love. I was getting tired of seeing you frown like someone had keyed your car every time you got killed. A pretty thing like you should only have cause to smile." Oh, Gods, now she sounded like a creepy old man that lived in his mum's basement. Great. Good job. Her Social Studies major was an absolute hit. Fuck her life. Fuck Oxenfurt College. And fuck Sabrina's witch-like cackling while she was at it. "Name’s Yennefer." She choked out miserably.

Tissaia scowled at her laptop. Hackers. Amazing. This was the best day of her new normal life. "Mind telling me how you broke through the most expensive antivirus in the Continent, dear? Because now I really need a refund." Now she also needed to contact Aretuza’s IT team on a Saturday night, because she was not about to mess any further with these blasphemous machines, thank you very much.

Wait, what? "That wasn't me... You left your camera on." The woman legitimately squealed at that, her oversized jumper sliding down her left shoulder and exposing just a glimpse of her collarbone as she pinned up her hair into a bun with... were those pens fashioned as swords? Oh, bugger, this was so not the time to get turned on! "Are you alright?" Mercifully Sabrina, Renfri and Phillipa were already accosting someone else, else she was sure the brunette would've completely lost it, more than she already was doing, anyways. "Hello?" No answer.

Tissaia was fishing for her boots when she started ranting, “Oh, don’t you worry! I’m fine! Just dandy! This is exactly how I wanted my life to go.” She motioned with her hand to the space around her. “I wished for nothing more than dealing with complete morons from nine to six, five days a week, whilst trying to make sure my sanity doesn't desert me.” Biting her lower lip for a moment she began checking that the ends of the laces were the same length when she pulled them up. “Running right after to my local grocery store to buy more instant meals that are probably going to give me cancer in five years if the bullshit articles my mother keeps sending me-”

Yennefer had told herself she wasn’t going to allow this wasn’t going to get any creepier than her misguided comment but she still had a gift code for that nice liquor store which conveniently had retailers popping up every six blocks everywhere for the last few months, especially in Thanned isle, only Gods knew why. “This bloody succubus of a twat that is my best friend has been forcing me to constantly use this cursed game by changing the password for my email and then Aretuza’s server and then-” Bingo. One text to Philippa and they had her IP address, with a mortified Triss already calling Jaskier since she was the only one that had managed to get a decent scholarship at that posh college.

This was her future wife who was about to jump from a bridge from the looks of her and they just had to do humanity a great service by saving her from herself and from sobriety.

“Can you believe that tosser? I am a lesbian! I spent my teenage years clad in flannel until my girlfriends staged an intervention kind of lesbian! Yes, Vilgefortz, I will sue you for harassment in the workplace and I will blacklist you. No, Vilgefortz, I don’t want to break quarantine to go on a date with you and I definitely do not want your disgusting cologne anywhere near my-” Tissaia’s head shot up, her doorbell was ringing and she pinched the bridge of her nose, reaching for a new, disposable, mask.

“You stay right there.” She threatened the girl, who had the most beautiful violet… Perhaps she really ought to let Coral get her a therapist. It rang again. “Gods-damn-it.” She thought.

Her plan was going marvellously. She would only have to sleep with a knife under her pillow for a few weeks for blackmailing Sabrina (Who honestly hadn’t the slightest talent to pass off plagiarism as a sudden stroke of genius in her final project without her aid.) into going along with this. The blonde was lighting the candles around the monitor without trying to burn her hair off and had given away her best bottle of cheap but still good wine for the cause. Thanks to Renfri and her frankly psychotic, owl obsessed, girlfriend she already knew what she would be replacing her trauma-ridden last name with! Splendid!

The brunette shut the door on Jaskier’s face after taking the brown paper bag from his hands, spraying the bottle of vodka inside it with so much disinfectant that it dripped down onto her carpet. Taking off her gloves and disposing of them, she grabbed a knife from the counter and ignoring the annoying blue light that came from the kitchen table, “Oh, shit. You’re soulmates. I’ll tell the rest of the girls we’re all fucked.” Tissaia cut off the upper part of the glass in one smooth hit, like Calanthe had taught her when the then teacher could still be considered fun by her groups of friends.

“Shut up, tiddybug!” She heard Yennefer sing-song.

Feeling like being crass the blue-eyed woman took a rather large swing directly from the bottle. Sitting back down, she sighed. Yennefer took a dignified sip from her wine; she could do balanced when her significant other to-be needed to let loose. “Did you like the bottle? It has good reviews from… wait a minute… apparently several alcoholics who don’t know what a budget is.”

Tissaia’s face paled. “I thought you weren’t a hacker.” The woman muttered. She didn’t fancy getting kidnapped and… No, no, no. Fucking Rita. What was the cost of moving, again? If she slept four hours less a day and split her cleaning time in two she could probably trade this house for Stregobor's in-

“I am not!” Yennefer cried. Bloody hell. “You just mentioned that you worked at Aretuza and-” Sabrina had probably started a group call and Phillipa was indeed hacking into her computer to save her arse. The Redanian was currently writing a script for her to follow. “Your username in the game is your surname. My friends and I tried to get into that school a few years back and I do remember that the Chancellor is a woman and that her last name is de Vries.” Her username wasn’t her last name, it was actually something that suggested she was an Ice Queen of the highest order. Queen Elsa from the movie Frozen would be intimidated kind of Ice Queen.

“Everyone is aware the highest-ranking members of the faculty live in chalets near the castle, pardon, the building.” True. According to Triss, that was a part of their contract that if unfulfilled prohibited them from working there ever again. To Yennefer that seemed borderline cruel, forcing them to be available at all hours like circus animals for juniors that didn’t deserve their spots.

“My best friend is a student there and she knows which one is your home because she wants to eventually be a teacher.” Partially true. Until that day came, Triss, like any rational individual, avoided the Chapter’s Village like the plague lingered inside, and wouldn’t be caught dead there unless she had to stop Sabrina from doing something stupid because of the anarchist phase she was going through. Jaskier was an acquaintance of hers of sorts because Triss had tutored his boyfriend Geralt in Biology and being daddy’s boy, he knew which one was Tissaia’s house because he had almost gotten expelled like fifteen times.

“I honestly just wanted to do something nice for you, you sounded like you needed it and… I know quarantine hasn’t been lifted once in Temeria since it all started.” Philippa wrote then that she would probably make for a decent actor without flashing her breasts to the audience every five minutes. She pursed her lips and replied in the mock post-it note to fuck off.

“I… I… Thank you. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed- I’m sorry, darling.” Her pale cheeks flushed at the term of endearment that slipped her tongue and Tissaia bowed down her head, red-painted nails caressing the glass bottle almost reverently. “Say, why don’t you tell me what your email address is and I send you my mobile via chat? The explosions in the background aren’t that, uhm, comforting to listen to when I’d much rather be hearing your voice.” Should she have looked up she would have seen the smile that threatened to split Yennefer’s face. “Only if you want to, of course! I- what am I even saying? Never mi-”

“No! Wait!” She placated. Sabrina squeezed her shoulder as she went to retrieve her phone charger, offering her a genuine smile. “I’d love to.”

“Okay.” Said Tissaia, an awed sound leaving her throat when blue finally meet with lilac. Gods, she was drop-dead gorgeous. Rita could have whichever bottle, all the liquor she wanted from the school’s cellar for indirectly enabling this.

Was one week a proper enough courting period to then buy the engagement ring? Or should she just have Philippa get her the best, costliest one from that jewellery eshop they all liked through some minor fraud that would take her like half an hour at most, today? “Good.” Yennefer de Vries had such a nice ring to it.

[ma-lark-ey]

Hi!! I've seen other people make posts about why they love TAZ,,and I figured I should add my two cents. I also just wanted to share this experience somewhere. (Spoilers for Balance and Amnesty!!)

For a bit of background; in December/early January, I got dropped by some of my closest friends. I'd already been doing bad mentally for the last few months, and that sent me into a complete spiral.

I was quarantined, couldn't see my friends, couldn't leave the house, couldn't make any attempt at things that used to make me happy. I was (quite frankly) at my lowest point. I'd heard rumors of the Adventure Zone for years, and even seen content of it on my socials.

In mid May, I said fuck it and listened to episode one. MBMBAM (as good as it is) wasn't my cup of tea in podcasts, I needed something with plot. I knew the McElroys were a genre of entertainment I could get behind, but I needed plot to get invested.

TAZ Episode 3 was when I really became hooked. Magnus latched onto my heart, and Griffin's voice brought me a comfort I'd long forgotten.

Its important to note at this point in my life, I hadn't picked up a pencil to write or draw in almost six months.

I was honestly inspired to watch after a cosplayer I really admire began to cosplay Lup! I loved the personality I saw in her videos and photos of Lup, and I wanted to know more about her.

I listened to Here There Be Gerblins, and it made me smile. I listened to RockPort Limited, and I remember cleaning up my dresser and folding clothes when I found out Jenkins was the killer. I listened to Petals to the Metal, and I remember standing in my living room laughing during the whole Trent scene. I listened to Crystal Kingdom, I remembered standing in my yard in shock when Mangus sliced Merle's arm. I listened to Eleventh Hour, I remembered sitting in my chair and crying during the flashback and throwing my stuffed animal in rage at the Taako flashbacks. I remembered listening the Lunar Interlude where Lup carved her name in the wall and screaming joy at the introduction of the character who inspired to check this amazing show out. I remember playing Minecraft while listening to the Stolen Century (I was building a Ravenloft in my world!)

My favorite memory from listening to it though, was the scene Lup finally entered. I'd been listening to this podcast nonstop since I started. I remember listening to that scene and just *crying,* i remember clutching at my heart when her death was described because I'd fallen absolutely in love with her during Stolen Century.

I remember listening to Magnus' death scene while sitting at my kitchen table. My mom asked me why I was crying. "MAGNUS GOT HIS DOG!" Was all I could compute, she had no idea what I meant.

After i finished Balance, I started drawing again. It was simple, at first. Just a headshot of Lup with my favorite quote from her. But it was a start! I picked up my materials for the first time in months.

Then I started Amnesty. In minutes I was absolutely smitten. It was like Aubrey personally grabbed my hand and told me I was gonna be better soon. I latched onto Aubrey just like I did Magnus (Travis has always been my personal favorite brother.) I remember feeling guilty for skipping the last half of Commitment, but given my religion trauma that I was still processing at the time, I knew I needed to just role right along into Amnesty for my own sake.

My fondest memory of Amnesty was sitting in the car during a road trip and scribbling down things on my sketchbook.

Another prominent one was when Ned revealed to Aubrey he was the burglar. I fell to my knees when he said the sentence, and no I'm not being dramatic. I was cleaning up my room, and i collapsed onto the floor and laid in a fetal during the whole scene, ugly crying. I love all of the Amnesty characters, its my personal favorite campaign, and Ned and Aubrey meant everything to me. That scene *destroyed* me. I also remembered crying on my road trip when Ned was killed. I'd never felt so much emotion from a piece of media before.

After that I actually digested all of Balance. And the one character who's stuck out to me is Taako. And I know he's a cliche character to latch onto. But, its not his personality or his appearance or whatever that makes me love him. It was his back story. When I found Balance, I was working throufh the betrayal and loss of my fourth set of friends. I'm the kind of person who takes in people I know are toxic in hopes of helping them. And Taako was the perfect mix of myself, and the people I found myself befriending.

His history with Sazed hit close to home, in the betrayal aspect. And his betrayal by Lucretia. I understood his heart felt in those moments, and I latched onto him. I thought, "You understand how I feel right now." And I've *never* drawn so much in my life.

In just three days I made two whole pages of sketches, in just the last three weeks I've done ten pages of my brand new sketchvook (averaging it to 4-5 full drawings a page). I hadn't picked up a pen in months, and now I couldn't Put one down.

There was one night a couple days ago where I just sat in bed, grinning and crying while I looked at all the art I had accomplished, the countless pieces of writing I'd presented to my friends proudly. I rejoined roleplay groups, which I had also dropped after my mental health dropped. I came out to my IRLs as nonbinary!

The characters the McElroys created have given me this... This inspiration I've never felt before. I've hyperfixated on things before (like Undertale! That was my biggest.) But, no piece of media has ever made me feel like a character reached out of my screen and grabbed onto me.

I remember Istus telling the Gang the iconic line of "You're going to be amazing" and to me, it felt like Taako and Magnus just reached out of my phone and gave me a bear hug. Hell, just a few days I translated that feeling into a sketch.

I just bought the graphic novels, and have orders merchandize. I've *never* gotten into something, and had merchandize for it three weeks later. I've never loved something so much I sent my friends literally novellas of just me recounting my favorite scenes to them.

The Adventure Zone has literally brought the most joy into my life I could ever ask for out of media, its helped me in so many ways.

These stupid little DnD campaigns mean the absolute world to me, and I could never be happier that I found them when I did.

So, if you've read this far, there's one last thing I wanna say; even if you feel like you're at literal rock bottom, like you could end it all tomorrow and no one would care. That not even your greatest passionate with bring you joy, youll find something or someone that will pull you out of that point so fast it makes your head spin. In the emphamis words of "Zeke Owens" (Griffin) "One day, youre gonna laugh at a joke. You'll go swimming, and you'll smile in the sunlight. You're gonna pet yourself a good dog and its gonna feel amazing."

[petroltogo]

full disclosure, this got complete out of control (you’ll see that below the cut) and for those who prefer to read longer texts elsewhere I also posted the full story on AO3. @hopeswriting I hope you like it!

So Hana takes a step back. She let the stress of being field-active, of having to cover for Sawada and keeping their squad upright run her down and never once took a moment to breathe and think. It worked, for a time, but it can’t work forever. Hana won’t be around forever to pick up Mochida’s slack when he’s hesitating, to push Sawada down when he gets ideas about helping, to shoot down Miura’s more crazed ideas that she makes sound horrifyingly reasonable.

In other words, she needs to start working on a solution instead of being the solution. Which means approach the problem in a new way.

Since Vongola Inc.’s bureaucracy is as nightmare-inducing as Hana expected it to be, getting another member assigned to their squad is a spectacular failure. [Hana cannot believe the bullheadedness of people who have never even seen a gun in real life but somehow think they can tell her what she does and doesn’t need in a fight.] Unsurprising but it was worth a try.

Which brings Hana to Plan B: Get Sawada off the squad. He’s spent the past two and a half months flapping around on the field like a fish who’s jumped out of an aquarium only to realize that he does, indeed, need water to survive. He’s panicked and cried and thrown up [in Sawada’s defense, they all have, but unlike Sawada they usually manage to control themselves until after the crisis is over] — in short, he’s had his fun.

It’s time to end this.

[continues under the cut]

Since the last time Hana tried to hammer a rational thought into Sawada’s brain, she’s payed attention and realized that Sawada won’t ever get off his ass and do something to improve his life if the only thing to be gained is more happiness and less lethal danger for himself. Which, frankly, is a thought that boggles her mind but alright.

If Sawada refuses to make decent life choices, Hana will make one for him. She doesn’t usually meddle like this, this is 100% Kyouko’s bad influence on her, but Hana has spent too many months keeping this idiot alive. He’s not gonna die on her now.

So Hana files the transfer papers for Sawada.

She does it properly too. Researches Sawada’s high school grades — which range from passable to terrible, how did he make it into the Vongola Inc. attack squad training in the first place? — and interests — of which there are barely any, seriously, does this guy not have a life? — and pays attention to Sawada in action. Most of the time that’s like watching an avalanche come down on top of you in slow motion, but there are parts of their work where Sawada doesn't hold them back. Even — dare she say it — makes himself useful. Like the whole talking to witnesses and calming survivors down part. Especially when there are children. Sawada is awkward and too sensitive and gets too restless around the adults, but with children he’s actually— Not bad.

Based on those same observations, Hana fills out the appropriate forms to get Sawada transferred to Human Resources. Sawada will be fine there. Maybe even do well. Not that he could do any worse than an attack squad but whatever.

The request is denied.

Transfer requests out of attack squads aren’t denied. No one wants a well-armed operative who doesn’t feel stable and confident that they can handle their job running around.

At this point Hana has repeated the phrase so often, the words have lost all meaning, but in the face of such a monumental, senseless idiocy it bears repeating: What the fuck, Vongola.

*

Practice doesn’t make perfect but it does make better.

A week passes and then another one. With every successful and unsuccessful mission that they survive together, they get better. Their teamwork improves, their instincts sharpen, they learn to play off each other. They learn to navigate around Sawada. And even Sawada does improve.

He doesn’t panic as much or as obviously anymore. He’s getting better at not getting in the way. He’s getting decent at hand-to-hand combat, even if he sucks at applying those same skills in an actual battle. Hana still isn’t happy to have him at her back, but she can trust him not to bowl her over from behind anymore. And besides they all do their best to keep him out of the actual fights whenever possible. It’s progress.

Not enough but it is what it is.

*

In the end. It’s not unexpected. It’s the opposite of unexpected and even that doesn’t seem a strong enough word for it. Because Hana is a planner at heart. She’s imagined this very outcome too often to be slowed down by shock or surprise now that it's actually happening.

[Numbers don’t lie. They can’t show the truth but they reflect trends and probabilities and just because every human being thinks they are the exception doesn’t make it true. Numbers don’t work that way and exceptions mean there’s a majority there whose story is told in those very same statistics.]

Hana knows what it means to walk into a battle with a squad member that can’t handle themselves by her side. She’s gone over the dangers too many times to count at this point, both inside her head and out loud. They all have. They’ve been doing this job for four months and by some miracle they’ve been managing, but beginner’s luck only holds out for so long.

It’s a bad mission.

Not their first one. They’ve already had close calls — too many of those — have gotten injured, hell, Sawada has even gotten himself kidnapped once. None of that knowledge helps prepare them for another once though. None of those past terrors make it any easier to remain calm and level-headed in the heat of the moment.

Most importantly none of it prepares Hana for a super who can control electricity. Whose powers apparently aren’t stopped by their uniforms, going by the charred body of what used to be one of her squad member that's lying crumbled on the other side of the room. [What does it say about her, about this squad that Hana’s first hysterical thought when she watched Nakamura go down screaming is 'At least it wasn’t Sawada’s fault.'?]

Communications are down, she’s cut off from possible reinforcements, trapped somewhere in the lower levels of the building. She doesn’t have any smoke bombs left, doesn't have a paralyzer, doesn’t have an exit and her only backup now that Nakamura is dead is Sawada. Sawada who is cowering in the corner furthest away from her and Nakamura's body, back pressed so hard against the wall he’ll have bruises if he survives this, wild, panicked eyes fixated on the crazed super who’s staring at him like Sawada is the fucking North star.

Or his next meal, going by Sawada’s luck.

Hana’s drawn her gun like Sawada should’ve because he’s armed, Hana knows he’s armed. She can see the gun from across the room. And Sawada isn’t fucking drawing it.

"Stay back!" she calls out towards the super who's glazed eyes remain fixed on Sawada. "Or I’ll shoot!"

Sawada still isn’t moving. The lightning guy is moving slowly, a demented grin on his lips, blood caking the left half of his face. And Sawada isn’t fucking moving. Not to defend himself. Not to run over and seek cover behind Hana, where she could fucking reach and protect him.

"Why are you so surprised?" Hana can almost hear Kyouko’s voice ask her, curiously puzzled. "You always knew he would be a liability."

Hana fires a warning bullet, half hoping the insane super will miraculously flinch back and let himself be arrested, half praying it will shake some sense into Sawada. Both is too much to ask and when lightening guy takes another step, Hana knows she’s out of time.

He’s too close to Sawada. All he needed to burn Nakamura alive was one touch. [The room is still echoing with his screams. Or is that only in her head?]

Hana doesn't kid herself: She's known how this story would end from the start.

She shoots.

*

[As the daughter of a lawyer and a librarian who fell in love over their shared passion for justice in a society that sorely lacked it, Hana didn’t grow up with the system-friendly propaganda her classmates were fed every day. She grew up with heated arguments over human rights over the dinner table, with long-winded discussions about the failures of the system and where and how to best address them.

Hana didn’t grow up glorifying supervillain deaths and she never, ever wanted to take a life. There is a reason why Hana planned to stay no longer than six months with her squad and it’s a simple one: Hana never wanted to become a killer.

But who does?]

*

Kurokawa Hana has been an active Vongola Inc. operative on an attack squad for four months, three weeks and six days when she kills René Moretti during a sanctioned mission with a clean headshot.

The official investigation is an open and shut case.

A month after the incident and three weeks into her mandatory therapy, Kurokawa Hana is cleared for the field once more.

*

Mandatory therapy is a joke. Hana isn’t going to let a therapist on Vongola Inc.’s payroll get into her head and brainwash her into believing killing isn’t a problem as long as it is for the organization’s gain, thank you very much.

[That’s not quite what the woman said but Hana can read between the lines and even if she couldn’t, she doesn’t trust Vongola. How could she, at this point?]

But Hana is smart and resourceful and has supportive parents who get in touch with some old friends and give her the contact of a psychologist that at least won’t have divided loyalties from the get go. So Hana goes and hopes it’ll help.

In the meantime, she pretends Sawada doesn’t exist.

[He doesn’t thank her. The one time he approaches her, he stutters out an apology of all things as though that would somehow erase the brain splatters Hana can still see behind her closed eyelids. She doesn’t snap and she doesn’t kick him out of a window because Hana is better than that.

She grits her teeth and turns on her heels and locks herself into the bathroom and smashes the mirror until her knuckles are bloody and there are glass shards sticking out of her skin and the screams inside her head finally shut up because Hana is a murderer and nothing anyone does will ever erase that.

The worst part of it is that she doesn’t feel guilty about the life she took. Only grieves for what she broke within herself.]

*

Here’s one truth Hana has to live with every day: She has taken a man’s life. [And it was easy.]

Here’s another one: If she’d been in that room with anyone on her squad other than Sawada, she wouldn’t have had to.

*

Sawada stays out of her way whenever possible and that’s the way Hana likes it. It doesn’t help and at some point she grows used to the bitterness that still twists her insides up into knots at irregular moments when she catches sight of him, but she can bear to look at him again, to give commands and order him to back up and cuss him out for breaking the coffee machine without actually murdering him.

Which she could do. She’s done it once already after all.

*

That first time is not the last time. Of course it isn’t. The longer she stays in the field, the more chances there are for something to go wrong and probability theory alone will tell you that sooner or later Hana will find herself in a similar situation, having to make the same choice.

*

Not every person Hana shoots is to protect Sawada. Some are to protect a civilian or even herself. Does that make it better?

Hana doubts it, but she realizes she doesn’t truly know.

[If there’s one thing she’s learned in the last month and a half, it’s that Hana is a good killer. Enough conscience not to turn a machine gun onto a crowd of civilians or throw a child off a building, but not enough to feel bad about snuffing a stranger’s life out of existence. Just the way Vongola likes its operatives.

Hana never pictured herself in this gritty, bloody world of field work, never wanted to be, but she makes herself at home all the same.]

*

One slow Wednesday morning while cleaning up the mess on her desk, Hana stumbles upon the transfer papers she never handed in. They’re filled out already, even the signature is already in place. Have been for — over a year now, that’s how long it’s been. Back when she first planned out every step of her career at Vongola Inc.

Staring down at her own handwriting that reads like a strangers, Hana considers. She could still hand them in, she supposes. Get transferred to the legal department just like she planned. What’s a delay of a few months?

There’s no reason to think that she couldn’t do the job. In fact, Hana is sure she’d be good. Great even. Certainly she’d make a better lawyer than a field operative.

"Kurokawa, you coming?" Mochida calls from the briefing room. The rising impatience indicates it’s not the first time he’s called her and a glance at the clock tells Hana their daily team meeting was supposed to start five minutes ago.

"Yeah, one moment."

She gets up. Takes one last glance at those papers. Throws them in the rubbish bin underneath her desk and doesn’t look back as she crosses the room in sharp, determined steps. There’s no point to it.

[What she wanted to protect when she made those plans is already lost. And Hana might be a better lawyer but she’s a decent operative. She’s keeping her squad members alive, keeping Sawada alive, which is an achievement all on its own.

She’s already taken lives for the sake of her team, for the sake of the mission even. What’s a few more?]

*

In a strange way it makes almost sense. [Out of the two of them, Kyouko is the villain. But it’s Hana who’s always flirted with the darkness looming at the edge of every super’s consciousness. It’s Hana who’s cut out to be a monster.]

*

"Why are you here?" Hana asks Sawada on a whim, roughly a year and a half after they were first assigned to the same squad. There’s no deep motivation or reason, not even any real curiosity.

Sawada blinks stupidly at her. "You said the first one to go home and leave you alone with this tower of paperwork would be dangling from the Vongola sign on top of this building by a rope made out of their own entrails."

Hana rolls her eyes. "I meant why did you join an attack squad." You idiot, she almost tacks on but leaves it unspoken in the end. It’s nothing Sawada hasn’t heard before. Damn she needs coffee if her tongue is getting away with her again. It’s not even two in the morning yet.

"Huh?"

Sawada looks honest to god confused. He’s lucky that punching him would require too much effort. Now that Hana thinks about it, so would getting worked up.

"I mean," she says very, very slowly, "that you are the least violent person I’ve ever met, Sawada. You’re a terrible field operative. So why haven’t you quit and applied for something else?"

Sawada stares at her with those illogically huge eyes that are supposedly cute — if Kyouko is to be believed — but that Hana finds off-putting. Possibly because they look at her like that all the time. "Oh." Sawada says as though none of what Hana has just said ever occurred to him. "I’m terrible at everything. And Vongola Inc. were the only ones who offered me a job. So." He shrugs.

Which. Hana isn’t even gonna touch that one. Nope.

"Just get the damn coffee, Sawada," she groans and hopes she’ll have forgotten this conversation in the morning.

[She doesn’t know what she’d hoped to find here, what kind of revelation she’d been waiting for but the worst self-esteem in the history of self-esteem hadn’t been it. If she thinks about the fact that this entire shit-show could’ve been avoided if someone had given Sawada a proper motivational speech as a child, she is gonna burn something.

Probably Vongola Inc.]

*

[On bad days, Hana cancels her coffee and cake time with Kyouko, doesn’t look at Sawada unless it is to glower and locks herself into an empty briefing room or her own apartment whenever possible. Her hands don’t shake when she holds a gun or a knife or a rope — they never do — but sometimes when she catches sight of her reflection she breaks it until it breaks her.

On bad days, catching sight of Sawada makes Hana feel every drop of blood drying on her hands, chunks of skin getting caught under her nails, gun powder sticking to her fingers. On bad days, she hates Sawada for what he’s made her become.]

By the time they’ve all been working together as an active squad for two years, every member of the team except Sawada has become a killer.

They don’t talk about it. They don’t acknowledge it.

[The shots one of them took so Sawada wouldn’t have to — because he wouldn’t have. They don’t even send him out with a gun anymore because what’s the point of handing someone a weapon they refuse to use? The shots they took to save him. The tasks Mochida assignes specifically so Sawada won't have to see some of the worst they’ve had to face, won't be forced to make choices he isn't prepared for and has too much heart to make. The missions he’s been put on desk duty for that no one else came out of unscratched. It's not even always about blood and death, is the funny thing. There’s so many things worse than murder.]

There’s nothing to talk about.

[On good days, Hana is grateful that it was her behind that trigger. Because even at her worst she’s never wanted Sawada dead.

And. Being a killer suits her, them. That's why they were chosen after all. That's why they qualified. That's why Sawada should've never passed his entrance exam. And perhaps one day Hana will make her peace with that knowledge. But the unvoiced issue remains: Sawada isn’t like them. Sawada cares in ways no one on the squad does, no one on any attack squad should, and— It’s not concern that compels Hana to shield him. It’s certainly not empathy. It’s self-preservation.]

*

Sawada doesn’t thank her for any of the lives she takes on his behalf. Hana doesn’t expect him to. She doesn’t think he understands what she’s protecting him from and a large part of her — a part that pulls the trigger without flinching, that has nightmares about Nakamura’s burned corpse, the smell of his flesh, but never about the man she killed — hopes he never will.

[It’s not the life Kurokawa Hana thought she would want, certainly not the life she planned, but most of her original squad is still alive, Sawada is still alive, even though Hana still doesn’t know who within Vongola is moving against him. And though Sawada is still useless, he’s calmed down a lot over the past two years. Could almost be classified as an asset on his rare good day.

And it’s not always great, not even always good, but. It is.]

*

aaand i think that concludes hana’s POV. if you have any further questions though (or if there’s other characters you’d like to see more of, don’t hesitate to let me know in a comment or an ask)!

[parkhabits]

The Wedding Date {M}

Park Jinyoung x Reader Genre: Fluff / Smut Warnings: Explicit mature content Word Count: 11,964 Summary: It’s your best friend’s wedding and in order to avoid all those sympathetic condolences because your ex is showing up with his pregnant girlfriend you hire an actor to be your boyfriend. Jinyoung plays his part to perfection. Everyone including your parents are charmed by him, the only problem is, you can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. 

You should be happy. Full of bliss and joy while in celebration of your best friend’s wedding festivities. However, there were three things on your mind. 

1.Your ex fiance is the best man

2. Two months from now would have been your wedding

3.You hired an actor from the classifieds online to be your date for the whole weeks worth of activities. 

Yes, an actor. Not some escort, though others would consider it the same thing. Technically you were paying him money to be your ‘boyfriend’. However, you would consider it giving him money to play a part. A few hours before attending the first lunch you planned to meet him for the first time. You sat in the cafe, already dressed. Your outfit of choice done with your ex in mind. The coffee in front of you remained untouched and cooled due to nerves. 

You weren’t like this. You didn’t know you’d be desperate enough to stoop to this. However while going through the seating arrangement and guest list a few nights ago you saw that your ex was bringing a plus one. Not just any plus one though. That sent you into a turmoil. Sure, you could show up at the wedding single but after everything you weren’t ready. You needed someone by your side. Even if it was for show. 

“Y/N?” 

With your mind wandering you easily startle. Glancing up to the voice that called your name. His headshots didn’t do justice. He was tall, broad shouldered, slim waist and toned. Naturally handsome. Not at all what you were expecting of an actor yet his appearance had it make sense. 

“Hi,” is all you can manage to say as you’re struck with awe and at the same time worry. How on earth would you be able to get away with having him as your boyfriend? In other words, talk about out of your league in other circumstances. 

He grins, “Wow, you are not at all what I was expecting,” he says as he takes a seat in front of you. 

He knew it too. Immediately you feel self conscious, straightening out your dress and blindly fiddling with your hair. 

He sees the change in your expression, “Oh no, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s a good thing for me,” he explains. “I mean, when someone hires someone to be their date you automatically expect.. y’know.” He stutters as he tries to explain, scratching the back of his head, “but you- you’re beautiful. I don’t know why you’d need someone to be your date,” he chuckles , dropping his hand and you’re taken aback by his bashfulness, “Can I start over?”

You laugh and nod.

“Hi, I’m Jinyoung,” he holds out his hand. 

“Y/N,” you smile taking his hand and shaking it. 

He leans forward along the table, “Alright director, let's hear it.” 

You raise your eyebrow, “director?”

He grins and shrugs, “You’re calling all the shots, guiding me and since I’m an actor. You know that makes you kind of like the director,” 

You nod at his point, pursing your lips. “I see,” there’s a pause between you two. “I’ve never done anything like this before so I’m not sure what I should be doing…” you say. 

Jinyoung eases back into his seat, “Let’s start with why you want to do this,” 

“Let’s see,” you ponder, “My best friend is getting married,the best man is my ex fiancé who I was supposed to marry two months from now. I’ll be walking down the aisle towards him not as I originally imagined. He’s in a new relationship and from what I hear his new girlfriend in tow is pregnant. Speaking of which I hear she’s six months pregnant which mean he was fucking her while we were together,” you don’t miss a beat, “So all in all I don’t want to be the elephant in the room that everyone pities,” you let out all in one breath and you realize how ridiculous this all really is. 

“So where do I come into play?” 

“You’ll be my boyfriend. We’ll put on an act that I’m completely head over heels for you and vice versa and that I’ve moved on,” You explain, cringing to yourself. You must come off as desperate and pathetic. Jinyoung is silent and you fear he’ll back out from how ridiculous this all is. 

“Alright so tell me about myself,” he finally breaks into a smile. 

Once again you’re confused, “Shouldn’t you be telling me about yourself?”

Jinyoung laughs, “I mean, who do you want me to be? What kind of boyfriend? If others start asking me about myself what do you want me to tell them?” 

“Oh,” you fidget in your seat, “I never really thought of that,” you feel the stress come about again. 

“What’s your type?” Jinyoung asks, 

“Uh…” you mull it over. Finally you let out a laugh, “This is going to be harder than I thought,” 

Jinyoung grinned, easing back in his chair. “I can be whoever you want me to be,” he says. 

Just hours before your big debut as a couple you two had run a quick crash course on your relationship. You two met at a coffee shop. Which was technically true. Together for a few months now. You gave a brief overview of the basics that your partner should know about you. Likes, dislikes, favourite foods, movies, even going so far in detail that he knew what your dominant hand was. In the end, you didn’t want Jinyoung to change so much about himself. Just from the conversation and encounter you deemed him to be polite, even charming. To be honest if you hadn’t hired him and if under different circumstances you might have even considered him real dating material and a potential love interest. 

That being said, you had established some ground rules that seemed to have amused Jinyoung once you brought it up to him. First and foremost no sex. You weren’t paying for someone to sleep with. However, sleeping in the same bed would be inevitable as the wedding’s activities took place out of town and lodging for the wedding party just happened to be at the groom’s parent’s estate. When you mentioned “chaste” kisses Jinyoung chuckled, the corner of his eye’s wrinkling. He was even more amused when you said “only if necessary”. Even saying that had you blushing and shy. 

“Back to sex,” you continued, “It won’t just be me you’re not having sex with but I ask that you refrain from having any sexual relations with any of the wedding guests, staff, you name it during this week. The last thing I need is to have another beau cheating on me,” You say sternly. 

Jinyoung looks at you intently, “Whether in a real relationship or a fake one. I am not a cheater,” he says. “If we’re talking ground rules then I’d like to add that this is strictly business,” you nod in agreement. “However,” Jinyoung adds, “This doesn’t mean we can’t  be friends. I think in order for this to work we need to be at ease with one another,” He had a point. What makes a relationship more authentic than friendship? 

You realized no matter the prepping, the ground rules established, the nerves would never go away. Jinyoung had volunteered to drive which you were appreciative of considering you needed some time to collect yourself. You weren’t sure if it was the curved roads or the anxiety that made you want to throw up but regardless you closed your eyes while Jinyoung, a complete stranger, drove you to the estate. 

By the time you arrive to the estate you have an endless list of how things could go awry. All of which happened to include hospitalization and natural disasters. Your stomach lurched as the windy road curved up the hill. Jinyoung let out a low whistle as the trees broke and the view of the estate came into view. You even straightened up in your seat, nose almost pressing against the glass in awe. 

You already knew Mark and his family were well off however you may have underestimated. Your best friend hadn’t mentioned how big it really was or the fact that it was basically a vineyard. It was no wonder the wedding was being held there and that they were accommodating the whole bridal party and a few others. As you pulled up your stomach lurched again and you knew it definitely wasn’t road sickness. You thought you and Jinyoung could arrive discreetly and have some more time to get yourselves settled before the initial late lunch welcome but you were wrong. 

“How good are you with meeting parents?” 

“Let’s just say I’ve heard many times over that I’m the ideal son in-law and that’s also coming from parents whose daughters I never even met,” he says cheekily. 

“Great, cause you’re about to meet mine,” you swallow nervously as you recognize the two figures unloading their car at the front. You should have remembered that you get your timely punctuality from your parents. “Oh god, we didn’t prepare for this. I thought we’d have more time. Maybe if you just keep driving past them they won’t recognize me or my car,” you panic. You hadn’t even told your parents you were bringing a date. You and Jinyoung were literally about to face the wolves. 

“Relax Y/N. It will be alright. Besides, if we can fool your parents then everyone else will be a breeze,” Jinyoung says. You started to realize that Jinyoung was logical, reassuring and his tone and the way he talked had a way of making you feel at ease. He made a point, if you couldn’t get past your parents who knew you the best. How could you get past everyone else? 

When the car comes to a halt right behind theirs you take a deep breath. Jinyoung places his hand on your knee in comfort, “We’ve got this,” 

Perhaps you shouldn’t have said “Hi,” when stepping out of the car. You two may have gone unnoticed while your mom was in the middle of nagging your dad. 

“Oh Y/N! You’ve arrived too. Isn’t this place gorgeous?” She pulls you into a tight embrace, “Your dad almost took the wrong turn because he wasn’t listening to me and on top of that he forgot to pack the small bag that I packed my hats in,” she rolls her eyes, “Oh honey, you’re not going to wear that to the lunch are you?” She says looking at your cocktail dress. 

“Ahem,” Jinyoung clears his throat as he rounds the car. 

If only you could have captured your mom’s reaction on video. It was the definition of ‘jaw drop’ and the exact reaction you would hope for. 

“Hi, Mrs. L/N. My name is Jinyoung, I’m Y/N’s boyfriend,” Jinyoung reaches to shake your shocked mother’s hand. “She told me so much about you but she didn’t tell me where she got her beauty from. Now I know,” he charms. 

Your mom giggles, acting like a school girl as she tucks her hair behind her ear. “Y/N never mentioned a boyfriend,” she glares at you. 

Jinyoung snugs his arm around your waist, pulling you against him. Your first ever skinship yet it was as if he’d done it hundreds of times to you. He is good was all you could think. You hoped you weren’t blushing. “You know y/n, always secretive. It takes a lot of convincing from me to even get her to call me her boyfriend,” Jinyoung laughs. 

Your mother nods, “Well, it's great to meet you and we’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other and hear all about your love story,” your mom winks and you knew she was already swept away with Jinyoung. It hadn’t even been five minutes and he had already won her over. “Honey, come meet Y/N’s boyfriend,” she says in excitement. 

“Here let me,” Jinyoung says leaving your side. Your dad steps out of the way as Jinyoung pulls out not just one but both of your mother’s over packed luggage from the trunk. He didn’t even grimace from the weight of them of them and, unlike your dad,  had carefully set them on the sidewalk with ease. 

“Strong man. Jinyoung was it?” your dad says reaching out his hand, probably thankful he didn’t have to pull a back muscle. 

Jinyoung nods, “Yes sir,” 

Your dad puffs out his chest, straightening his posture for intimidation and taking on the protective father role, “So how long have you been seeing our Y/N?” 

“It’s been a few months now,” You answer hurriedly.  You can tell your dad was just about to ask another question so you hooked your arm around Jinyoung’s, “We’re going to go find our room. Get all fresh and resettled before lunch,” you say already pulling Jinyoung inside with you. Not even looking back as your parents gape at the two of you. 

It was a butler who escorts you two to your designated room. As soon as you’re inside you, quite literally, flop onto the bed. “Oh my god,” you drawl, “That was exhausting, how are we going to do that for a whole week,” you roll over onto your back as you stare up at the cream colored ceiling. 

You feel the bed shift. Jinyoung lays beside you, one arm propped as he rests his head against it. “It went well,” 

Finally you take in your surroundings. The room was quite big, enough to give each other space. There was even a changing screen that was probably for decoration but you’d probably put to use. Even the bed was big, you didn’t even know there was something larger than a king size. Yet despite the size Jinyoung was right next to you. If you just shifted your leg it would brush his. He was too close for comfort. You sat up, shifting over a bit to create space. 

“Tell me about your ex,” Jinyoung requests unmoving from his spot. 

“College sweethearts, thought he was the one, obviously not,” you shrug. 

“But obviously you care enough that you’d go as far as hiring me,” Jinyoung urges for more. 

“I am moved on, I think. I won’t really know until I see him.” Which got your nerves all riled up again because your encounter would be in an hour or so. “Like I said, it’s just nice to have you here so I don’t get those sympathetic  ‘How are you doing?’ You’re my backbone,” you explain. 

“You don’t seem to be the type that’s passive,” Jinyoung states. 

“I guess in a way the breakup, the whole cheating and pregnancy thing took something from me,” you shrug. You let out a laugh, “Like my self confidence for starters,” 

Jinyoung’s brows furrow. He’s about to say something until you hear a knock on your door. Immediately you look at him, eyes widening. Oh god, you weren’t ready to face your mom again. 

“Y/N!” You recognize the voice on the other side of the door and immediately feel relieved as you rush to open it. As soon as it’s open your greeted with a squeal and pulled into a tight embrace. 

“It’s happening! I’m getting married, I can’t believe it’s actually happening. You look so good. Where’s your new beau?” She wiggles her eyebrows. Then her attention turns to Jinyoung who's just now starting to sit up on the bed. “Oh, am I interrupting something?” She looks at you and winks. You see Jinyoung blush, clearing his throat. 

“Oh shut up,” you roll your eyes. 

Your best friend shrugs, “I don’t know what’s…” she pauses, “included in your contract,” She knew everything, in fact, Jinyoung was all her idea. Even so, there was no way you’d be able to hide it from her. You knew her though, she wouldn’t tell a soul not even her new husband. 

“Hi,” she finally introduces, “thanks so much for coming to the wedding,”

“My pleasure,” Jinyoung smiles, “Congratulations,”

“Okay! I’m off! I’ll see you two downstairs. Can’t wait to see the look on your ex's face when you walk in together,” she pulls you into another embrace as she whispers in your ear, “That smile alone is enough to get your panties wet,” 

“See you later!” You push her out the door, feeling the warmth rise to your cheeks. Once she’s out you turn to face Jinyoung. He smiles and the color continues to flush your cheeks. She’s right. 

“You can go ahead and freshen up first,” you offer. 

“Are you sure?” Jinyoung asks already reaching for the buttons of his dress shirt. His first button comes undone.

“Yes, go for it,” your voice squeaks. “I’ll probably take longer than you anyways,” You say as a second button came undone. You’d probably need a long cold shower feeling like a hormonal teenager. When Jinyoung heads into the bathroom and you hear the water turn on you collapse back onto the bed. It was going to be a long week. 

You don’t know why they call it a late lunch when it’s basically cutting into dinner time. You managed to do a quick fix of your hair, also tried not to drool when Jinyoung emerged from the bathroom all dressed up. It was simple. You’ve seen dozens of men, including your ex wear a simple dress shirt and khakis but Jinyoung looked like he just emerged from a catalogue of Hugo boss. 

The closer you get to the outdoor terrace and the muffled sounds of voices and piano playing the nerves resurface. As if knowing Jinyoung grabs your hand, holding it tightly. 

“You’ve got this Y/N. You’ve got me to lean on,” he encourages. 

You nod, finding comfort in the warmth of his hand as it holds yours. You recognize a few of your friend’s relatives. Growing up together you had gotten to know them quite well. Just as expected the view from the terrace were beautiful vineyards, mixed with a garden courtyard that included a sculpted fountain. You walk in hand and hand with Jinyoung, as directors would normally say, action. 

“Y/N!” You hear your mother's voice immediately as if she’s been waiting for you to make an entrance. “Oh, you didn’t change,” she tsks as she approaches you.  

“That would be my fault,” Jinyoung speaks immediately, “I convinced her not to change. The color suits her and I think she’s beautiful,” Jinyoung snugs his arm around you just as he had before. 

With Jinyoung’s statement you can physically see your mother’s thoughts change, “Oh yes I suppose you’re right. It is very flattering on her,”  she gleams. 

“And I have to say Mrs. L/N you’re looking quite radiant yourself,” He compliments. 

Your mother blushes, “Come you two, you have to say hi to Mrs. Lim,” You tried to protest but your mother was already hooked to Jinyoung’s arm and dragging him across the terrace. 

Just like your mom, Mrs. Lim is swept away by Jinyoung’s charms. Soon enough, more ladies are surrounding the two of you. There’s swooning and a handful of giggling and lots of playful touching. You’re almost beaming with pride, basking in the glory that you had the hottest date. When Jinyoung was finally introduced to your best friend’s father, the two had gotten along and easily slid into conversation as if they had known each other for a while. It was easy to say Jinyoung blended in well. 

“Oh god,” you say when you notice a certain someone making a beeline towards you. 

Jinyoung turns his attention to you, “Is it your ex?” 

“Worse,” you groan. 

You’re greeted with boobs and a high pitched giggle as your name leaves her lips, “Y/N how lovely to see you!” Her words dripped with fakeness. 

“Wow, Janine,” was all you could say as you kept your arms by your side trying your best to sound as enthusiastic as she was. 

“I know, they just got done,” she proudly shimmies to flaunt her chest,looking at the corner of her eye to who stood beside you. 

Some describe this type of relationship as “frenemy”. Friendly towards each other yet in a superficial, don’t really like one another type of way. Always remaining civil despite the shade thrown at one another. Janine in latent terms was interesting. Loves thinking she’s the center of attention and someone that thinks she attracts all the men. You knew it was bound for her to come running to Jinyoung. 

“I heard your date is the life of the party, auntie keeps going on and on about him so I just had to come see for myself,” Oh yeah, and she’s your best friend’s cousin. As if on cue she hooks her arm around Jinyoung’s pulling him towards her. “I can see what all the talk is about. I’m Janine,” she introduces. 

You tug him back towards you and realize that you may end up in a tug of war against her. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend Jinyoung,” he says as he squirms out of her hold and, in the most satisfying way, snugs his arm around your waist in unity. You feel smug as you see her little pout. “Can I get you something to drink babe?” Jinyoung asks.

Babe. You never discussed pet names, in fact, your ex rarely called you anything. It was something you weren’t used to but coming from Jinyoung it was something you could get used too. You had to remind yourself it was all for show. You smile and nod. Then he does something you for sure didn’t expect. It was a sweet and innocent gesture. A kiss on your temple before he leaves but you weren’t used to this kind of affection. Especially in front of others. It was so casual, so simple, yet it left you giddy. 

Janine’s jaw drops slightly, she doesn’t miss a beat as soon as he’s out of hearing distance. “Where did you meet him?” Emphasizing the ‘you’part of the conversation because obviously Jinyoung was someone out of your league. 

“We met at a coffee shop,” you say as nonchalant as you can, once again, partly true. 

“Looks like I’m frequenting the wrong places,” she mutters as she watches Jinyoung at the bar, gnawing at her bottom lip. 

“Y/N,” your best friend calls your name and saves you. When she comes running over, it wasn’t to save you but to warn you. She pulls you away to the corner of the terrace. “Your ex is here and baby momma in tow. Look at her she’s huge!” 

You feel a slight sense of panic. You haven’t seen your ex since the breakup, didn’t even know what the woman he was with now looked like. Your attention is turned towards the entrance where you see your ex. No butterfly feelings, no rush of emotions. He looked tired, bags under his eyes, hair was disheveled. You didn’t know if you should feel relieved that he looked far worse than when you two were together or if you should feel sympathy. His ‘baby momma’ was huge, belly wise. Yet you were expecting some radiant glow but was faced with a frown. Other’s had also turned their attention to the new couple that just walked into the room. You saw your mom’s scowl and no doubt she was whispering to Mrs. Lim the same things you observed. You were pleased with yourself, no outlying feelings. Not even anger. 

“You okay?” You best friend asks.

You nod, “Surprisingly yes,” 

“In any case, I’m glad Jinyoung is here with you,” she says. 

You glance over at Jinyoung who stands by the bar talking with Mark. He holds two glasses in his hand. He catches your gaze, an easy smile over his face as he winks at you before turning  back with Mark. A part of you, a big part, wished this was real. 

As you had assumed, lunch had moved into dinner, dinner faded into the late night. By the time you get back to your room you were slightly buzzed from all the wedding themed cocktails. Satisfied, you kick of your heels. Falling back onto the bed with your arms spread. 

“That went better than expected. We might actually pull this off,” You glance over at Jinyoung whose removing his watch, now starting to undo the cuff links of his dress shirt.  You roll onto your elbow as you watch him. “Seems like you and Mark hit it off,” 

Jinyoung smiled, “He’s pretty cool. He suggested that after he gets back from his honeymoon we all take a trip to the mountains,” 

The way he said it made it seem like it was plausible. Like real lovers discussing future plans. It only made your stomach knot and feel guilty Mark didn’t know he wasn’t going to get his vacay with Jinyoung. 

Days had passed and in that time you and Jinyoung had easily fallen into a friendship. The first initial bouts of awkwardness between you two gone. You had to give him most of the credit for that. He was kind, thoughtful, made you feel at ease. He even had your mother wrapped around his finger. Your own father couldn’t calm her from her incessant rants the way Jinyoung could in seconds. It seemed as though everyone was charmed and captivated by him. The days were busy, lawn activities, nature walks,  the whole lot, each day followed by cocktail hours and tipsy evenings. Most nights you and Jinyoung would stumble back to the room giggling and teasing one another. All except for one night where your best friend and you left dinner early and had a sleepover in your room. That morning you were surprised to wake up to her instead of Jinyoung. Then during brunch burst out laughing when you found out him and Mark ended up doing the same thing. There were no boundaries even the pillow barricade between you two had come down. 

You laid in bed wide awake. The quiet of the night and darkness over the room. Jinyoung sleeping peacefully beside you. Your comforted by his presence, knowing he’s there. You reflected on your days with him. How Mark and Jinyoung instantly became friends, your parents with Jinyoung only after the first meeting. Hopefully they didn’t get too attached being that this would all come to an end. When Jinyoung turned in his sleep his arm fell across your waist. Don’t get attached, you reminded yourself. Yet as you drifted off to sleep you curled into the warmth of his body. 

“Ow,” 

You’re woken by the sound of a man’s voice. In the state of confusion and morning grogginess you’re startled by your surroundings and the ‘stranger’ who lay beside you. Then you remember, you’re in bed with someone you paid to be your pretend  boyfriend, you’re in an estate and you’re currently in his arms and feeling that your elbow was kind of jabbed into his abdomen that’s probably why Jinyoung woke. 

“Sorry,” You shift. You’re still pressed against his body, his arm still around your waist. 

“It’s okay,” he murmurs. 

The sound of his morning voice had to be one of the most attractive things you’ve heard. It’s quiet for a moment and you wonder if he’s fallen back asleep. You lay as still as possible in case he had. Countless worries in your head. Did you look okay? Did you snore in your sleep? You cringed at the thought of possible morning breath. 

“What’s the plan for today?” He asks groggily, his arm still around you. 

“All I know is that there’s dinner in the East Wing tonight,” you laugh at how ridiculous and posh it all sounds. 

“Hmm,”Jinyoung responds and you wonder if he’s falling asleep again. He shifts, not farther from you but closer. He’s practically spooning you, his face nuzzled in your hair. This wasn’t the only time you two had woken up snuggled against each other. Nor was it the only time you two hadn’t pulled away from each other. Your ex and you couldn’t handle cuddling each other. In the morning you’d wake with a gap between yourselves and back towards each other. You never believed that people could actually fall asleep, let alone be comfortable like that. Now you believed that cuddling could actually be comfy. The way you simply melded into Jinyoung’s body gave you hope for cuddling. In fact most mornings when you two woke like this you didn’t want to leave. 

“You’re beautiful in the morning too,” Jinyoung murmurs sweetly, catching you off guard. 

You blush, he was just being nice. He always says sweet things to you. It was hard to believe that there were actually guys out in the world like this. Were these lines he said before? You understood him saying these things to you in front of others, but he even continued to say things like this when it’s just the two of you. “Do you take tips for flattery?” You joke, trying your best to hold back and not fall for his charm. 

If only you could take back what you said, wondering if you had insulted him as he lets out a deep sigh and pulls away from you. Rolling onto his back. You shift too, now both of you are staring at the ceiling though you wish you were back to the sweet moment just before. You cursed yourself for ruining the moment even though it was supposed to mean nothing. Strictly business, this was what he was here for. 

“I finally met your ex,” Jinyoung speaks, “Figured it was him considering he was the only one with a pregnant significant other,” he looks at you, “Are you okay?” 

“I am. More than I thought I would be. It’s just hard to move past it all with everyone asking me ‘if I’m alright’ or ‘warning me whenever he comes into a room’, telling me ‘I deserve better’,” you shrug. 

“You do deserve better,” Jinyoung says quietly. 

There it was again, his sweet words.. Making you feel special, reassured. But with his words came confusion. He barely knew you, sorta. You two did have a run down on all your interests but hardly enough to say he knew you best out of everyone. You look at him and he’s still staring. Your pulse quickens. How was it that Jinyoung was able to make you feel so many things in such a short time? With your ex it had been slow. A low simmer throughout your relationship. With the way Jinyoung looked at you, touched you, everything boiled. Heated down to your core and you weren’t sure how to handle it without breaking your own rules, without crossing boundaries. 

“Y/N, I -“ The knock on the door interrupts Jinyoung. 

“Who is it?” You call out. 

“It’s me!” Your best friend answers. “Come on Y/N get dressed we’ve got wedding stuff to do!” 

This was the second time your best friend interrupted you two. The timing uncanny. You wonder if you would ever find out what Jinyoung wanted to say both times. If it was important than for sure he’d tell you but considering he didn’t say anything else you pushed it aside. 

At the wedding parlour you sat with champagne in your hands surrounded by a tearful mother and giddy bridesmaids and an annoying Janine. Your thoughts distracted. Jinyoung was with Mark and the other groomsmen and guys having a ‘manly’ day. He was by himself with your friends, your father, your ex. In fact it was your first day apart from each other all week.  You only hoped everything was going okay. That your dad wasn’t hounding him with too many questions. What if your ex talked to him again? Would he ask intimate questions to compare egos? The anxiousness had you sipping your champagne avidly. 

“Thirsty Y/N?” Janine’s voice cuts your thoughts. 

“Just tastes good,” you shrug nonchalantly. 

“Y’know I’ve been thinking about Jinyoung,” she says.

You glare at her, “Kind of strange thinking of someone else’s boyfriend don’t you think Janine?” 

“I just feel like I’ve seen or met him before,” her high pitched voice and the way she says it makes you know she knows something. What it was you weren’t sure. Maybe she saw him in one of those small toothpaste commercials Jinyoung had mentioned before. Your stomach turned at the thought of her actually skimming the classifieds. 

“Hmm strange,” you try and play it off. When you go to take another sip you find your champagne flute empty. “I’m gonna get a refill,” you say using that as a perfect excuse to dodge more of her questions. 

By the time your friend comes out your buzzed. Heck, that whole bottle of champagne might as well have been just for you. You were drowning a mix of nerves and Janine hounding you with a bottle of bubbly. 

“You’re so beautiful,” you tear up as you embrace your best friend.

“I was so nervous that this final fitting wouldn’t go so well. All night I couldn’t sleep because I was worried I gained weight or that they would cut the hem too short,” she says giddy as she looks in the mirror. “Now all I have to worry about is making sure Mark is at the altar the day of,” her eyes well up.

“Oh trust me, Mark is so going to be there and you’re going to take his breath away,” you reassure. 

Your best friend grins, “Let’s celebrate with more champagne!” She signals one of the ladies.

“Don’t mind if I do,” you hiccup, basking in your best friend’s happiness with her.

 He’s the first thing you see when you and the girls arrive back at the estate. The guys all coming up from the terrace, laughing. Mark has his arm slung over Jinyoung’s shoulder. Was it the alcohol that made your stomach flip or was it seeing Jinyoung? You were sloshed. Your gait unsteady, face flushed. 

Mark’s the first one to notice, “The girls are back,” he says immediately walking to your best friend and kissing her. Jinyoung’s gaze immediately sets on you and you feel your pulse flutter. 

You hear Janine’s voice from behind you and being on edge you decide to put on a show. Waving enthusiastically to Jinyoung you all but skip over to him. Your caught in his arms as he’s taken aback, bracing the two of you as you almost trip. 

“Hi boyfriend,” You hiccup wrapping your arms around his neck. 

Jinyoung grins, “Are you drunk?” He asks brushing the tousled strands of hair in your face. 

“More like an alcoholic,” Janine mutters as she walks by, “She drank the whole bottle to herself. Classy,” 

You stick out your tongue at her before directing your attention back to Jinyoung. “Did you miss me?” You hiccup. 

“Gross,” Janine rolls her eyes as she stalks off. You could almost see the green monster of jealousy on her back. 

Jinyoung kisses your forehead, “Of course,” 

By the time he says that Janine and everyone else are already out of earshot. No one else was around to hear him but you figured he was keeping it for show.

Your arm is still wrapped around him. “So how’d the day go?”

“It was fun. I even beat your ex in arm wrestling,” Jinyoung grins. 

Your jaw drops, “You did?” You didn’t say it out of disbelief that he beat him because you had no doubt Jinyoung could. It was more of the fact that he was in that situation to begin with. 

“Your dad convinced us. Kept going on and on about pride and worthiness and obviously I had to defend my girl’s honour,” Jinyoung teases, “Later, your dad gave me the sex talk,” 

You groan resting your forehead against Jinyoung’s shoulder. “I’m so embarrassed,” 

Jinyoung tightens his hold around you, giving a little squeeze for reassurance. “I like your dad and all your friends,”

“I’ll pay you more for having to deal with that,” You look up at him grinning. 

Jinyoung frowns, his hold loosening. “There’s no need. Like I said I had fun with them,” his tone short. There it was again. Whenever you remind yourselves this was a transaction he’d always pull away. Literally. All of it was too confusing. 

You brush his tone aside trying not to read into it. “So do you think you could beat me in an arm wrestle?” You say trying  to keep the mood light. 

There’s a brief pause before Jinyoung relaxes the smile returning to his face again. “It’d be a close call for sure,” he squeezes your arm. You relax in his arms feeling the buzz cloud your head. “Looks like you could use a nap before dinner,” he says. 

You nod in agreement. Already feeling Jinyoung wrap his arm around your waist for support. You lean into his arms as the two of you walk together back to your room. “So what else did you guys do?” You ask. 

“Played tennis,” 

“You play tennis? Is there something you can’t  do?” 

Jinyoung shrugs, “I was doing good until Mark’s old college friend showed up,” when you arrive in your room Jinyoung locks the door. He places his warm hands on your shoulders and gently turns you around. “How about a bath?” His voice is low, soft‍. Your heart quickens, your bodies so close that one centimeter back and you’d be leaning against him. It’s tempting to just lean, to feel your body pressed against his. 

“Together?” You stutter. 

You hear him chuckle. “Tempting,” his hand trails down your arms. “I was suggesting I draw you a bath so you can relax and sober up,” 

“Oh, okay well I’m just going to go drown now,” you pull away from him embarrassed. 

Jinyoung grabs your hand and pulls you back to him as he chuckles. “Are we going to break one of our ground rules?” 

Your face flushes, “No I..” you stutter. 

“As much as I would love to,” he rests his forehead against yours, “I don’t take advantage of drunk women,” he lays a chaste kiss on your forehead. Before you could even say or question anything he’s pushing you towards the bathroom. “Make sure you lock the door,” he grins when you gape at him. “I don’t trust myself,” he winks as he shuts the door. 

You do as you’re told. Locking the door in front of you as you take a deep breath to collect yourself. Was this all fake? Was it all part of his role? You soaked in the tub as your head filled with thoughts and your body coiled with lust. He was right, the bath was sobering you up but it didn’t help clear your confusion. You could admit that you were attracted to him. Everything about him drew you in. Seeing him with your friends and family made you like him even more. He sparked something in you, something that you may have not even experienced yourself. Have you ever wanted like this? No matter how many times you reminded yourself that this wasn’t real, your feelings were. You liked him. Liked being with him. Liked the way he made you feel and how in such a short amount of time he was already bringing back your confidence, mending the little pieces of yourself that your ex broke. He plays tennis, beats your ex in arm wrestles and somehow manages to get along with your dad. He knows how to diffuse your mom and hang with the guys and charm the ladies yet still make you feel like you’re the only one in his sights. He knows exactly what to say to you to calm your nerves and say sweet words without you having to pry it out of him. It was all too fast. Not once did you expect this to happen when you first decided to do this. As bad as it sounds he was just supposed to be your arm candy. Just something for you to flaunt and show off to let everybody know you’re fine and to back off. He was much more than that now. Your parents loved him, your friends loved him and you loved -

“Oh god,” you groan at the realization. Sinking lower into the water as you rub both hands over your face as if trying to wash away what you just realized. 

There’s a knock on the door followed by the sound of his voice. “Y/N?” 

You sit straight up, grabbing the sides of the porcelain tub. Water splashed everywhere, spilling over the tub. There’s another knock, this time a little more urgent. 

“Y/N?” His voice more panicked.

You hop out of the tub, grabbing the nearest towel as you unlock the door quickly opening it. Your faced with Jinyoung’s surprised face. “What is it?” 

“It’s quarter to six and you were taking a long time…” his words trail off as he eyes follow the water droplets down your collarbone “I just hoped you didn’t drown or pass out or something,” he swallows. 

You tighten the towel around your chest gripping it tight because a big part of you just wanted it to fall and see where it went from there. “Sorry did you say it’s almost six?” You couldn’t believe you had been in the tub for that long. 

Jinyoung raises his hand. His index finger swiping a droplet of water just above where you gripped the towel. “Mhm,” he answers distracted. 

Your heart sped, mouth going dry and your fingers cramped from how hard you gripped the towel. “Jinyoung?” 

His eyes meet yours and you notice a change in his eyes. Dark, heated. For a split second you’re ready to let go of all your rules. “Can you pass me my dress hanging in the closet,” you swallow dryly. 

He pauses for a second and you wonder, even hope, that he’d forget everything as well and just take you. His hand drops and you breathe. Partly relieved, the other disappointment. Of course he wouldn’t. He was a gentlemen, poised and he also established right from the get go that this was strictly business, friends only. He doesn’t say anything as he walks to the closet. 

“Thanks,” You murmur as you take it from his hand. Then you shut the bathroom door, locking it once again. 

When you emerge from the bathroom Jinyoung is changed also. If you weren’t already wound up from earlier then surely you were now. You felt a little pathetic. Too hormonal. Even when you changed all you could think of was sex. How long had it been? Not even that, when was the last time you actually orgasmed? Was it wrong for you to assume that Jinyoung would be good at it like he was everything else? 

“Shall we?” Jinyoung’s voice interrupts your thirty second fantasy of you ripping his dress shirt open. 

“Yup,” your voice cracks and Jinyoung cocks his brow. 

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks. 

You nod frantically, “Just hungry,” you lie as you walk towards the door. 

As soon as you open it your faced with Janine. Perfect timing you curse to yourself. She eyes you, her face grimacing. Yet she tried to mask it in front of Jinyoung. 

“Little late for dinner aren’t you?” She jabs. 

You hook your arm around Jinyoung’s. “We got a little… caught up,” you implied. From the corner of your eye you see Jinyoung’s lips quirk. 

Janine rolls her eyes, “Gross,” she mutters under her breath as she walks away. 

You wait for her to go ahead. Once she’s out of sight you sigh in relief, unhooking your arms from his. You don’t dare look at him due to embarrassment. 

“So what exactly were we caught up with?” Jinyoung chides. 

“Getting ready,” You shrug stills avoiding eye contact. “Let’s go?” You start walking but Jinyoung grabs your hand tugging you back towards him. 

“Did I mention you look beautiful?” His voice is low. 

“No but thank you,” you play it off, hoping Jinyoung didn’t feel the thrill of your pulse. 

“Well you’re beautiful, you’re amazing and I need to kiss you.” 

You glance around the hall, no one in sight. You give him a puzzled look, “You don’t have to there’s no one around and Janine’s gone - “ 

“I know. I mean I need to for myself,” he pulls you to him. “Not for anyone else,” he murmurs. He looks into your eyes, his other hand moving to your cheek. You close your eyes at his touch and he kisses you. 

Just like that. No preamble, no one to show off to, just you two. You realized that if this was what need feels like then truly you’ve never felt it before. Every bit of you that could was heating, when his tongue grazed yours you felt everything ignite. 

How did thirty seconds of contact make you feel like you need to jump on him and rip his clothes off? You wanted, needed, desperately and yearned for more even as he began to pull away. 

“You deserve better than your ex,” he murmurs against your lips. 

“I know,” your voice is squeaky, “I know,” you sigh as you catch your breath. 

He takes a step back, still holding your hand. “I guess we better head down before people send up a search party,”  

Luckily dinner hadn’t started but to say you and Jinyoung could just easily slip in without going unnoticed was wrong. As soon as you entered the room your dad swarmed in on him. His arm slung around his shoulder as he pulled Jinyoung towards the bar. Murmuring something about a brand of whiskey that “he would love”. Jinyoung grins over his shoulder at you. 

You could use a drink as well. After what happened upstairs, the kiss, you were feeling all hot and bothered. Thirsty. 

“Y/N, can we talk?” 

Your thoughts are interrupted by a voice you recognize and tried to avoid this whole week. 

Your ex. The person you least wanted to have a conversation with right now. You'd rather deal with Janine than him. 

“Oh hi,” is all you say. Wrapping your arms around yourself. Now that you were up close you noticed he was in fact, changed. Your feelings for him also changed. There wasn’t even resentment. 

“I’ve been wanting to come and talk to you since we’ve arrived but it’s been impossible, that man won’t leave you alone,” he scowls. 

“Well Jinyoung’s very attentive and he is my boyfriend,” You point out. 

“I noticed.” He scuffs his shoes along the floor. “You look happy,” 

And you look like hell is what you wanted to say but bit your tongue. “I am,” 

Your ex stands there all awkward and you realize that you’re completely over him. He didn’t even mean anything anymore. Even in your relationship he made you feel awkward and not sure of yourself. In latent terms taking away your sexiness. 

Being with Jinyoung made you feel good. You’ve rediscovered yourself. Found what you wanted in a guy. 

“We had something Y/N. Something good,” your ex says. He’s looking at you as though this conversation really matters. 

“Well…” you pause and try to work out what to say, “If we did then maybe you wouldn’t have cheated,” 

“I messed it up. I’m sorry Y/N. I’ve been so stupid,” his face is twisted like he may start crying and you’re struck by a sudden lightening bolt of realization. If it had been two months ago you may have thrown yourself into his arms. Two weeks ago you could have tried to strangle him for his adultery. Now you couldn’t be bothered with anything except pity. He looked like he hasn’t slept in a month, you could only imagine what it’d be like when the baby comes along. When you don’t say anything your ex continues, “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you Y/N,”

Past your ex’s shoulder you see him. Jinyoung. He’s been watching you two from the bar. Close enough that in a moments signal he could be at your side as your knight in shining armor  and save you. Yet you didn’t need him. He winks at you and you realize that he really is there for you but knows you can handle it. 

Then you realize. If a man, any man, can make you feel that special at a distance, even under this pretense, then your ex has never even been close to being ‘the one’ for you. Now you seem to be lacking any empathy towards him. The only thing you felt was thankful that you didn’t end up marrying him.  

“We’re not getting back together,” you firmly state. 

“Whose not getting back together,” Jinyoung slides to a halt beside you, his arm snuggling around your waist. 

You nod towards your ex, “You should have realized everything a long time ago,” you pause to take a breath, another lightening bolt of energy and realization. “You can’t love me now and you couldn’t have loved me back then or you would have never fucked another woman,” Jinyoung squeezes your hip in encouragement. “Anyways, I’m with Jinyoung now,” you look up and gleam at him. 

He smiles back, “And on that note I think it’s time we start having a fun time,” he inclines his head towards the small empty dance floor. 

“Y/N, doesn’t dance,” your ex states clinging to his last hope that there was still something between you two. Acting as if he still knows you. 

“Not with you she doesn’t,” a voice interrupts from behind him. 

“Jackson!” You squeal pushing past your ex as you embrace your long time friend. 

“There’s my girl. I’ve been looking for you,” he spins you around. 

Your ex moves out of the way of your flying feet, “Take it from someone who's been where you’re standing right now. I’d worry about him,” your ex murmurs, patting Jinyoung on the shoulder. 

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Jinyoung mutters as your ex walks off with his shoulders slumped. 

“When did you get here!” You ask as soon as your set down. 

“This afternoon just in time for tennis ” Jackson grins keeping his arm slung over your shoulder.  

You should have made the connection earlier when Jinyoung said that Mark’s college friend arrived, which reminded you. 

“Jackson this is Jinyoung my boyfriend,” you try and pry yourself out of Jackson’s hold but instead he only tightens his arm around you shoulder, almost into a headlock. 

“We met briefly during tennis,” Jackson says. 

“I’d like a rematch. Was kind of winded after all the previous matches before you,” Jinyoung smiles yet you notice there isn’t any warmth behind it. 

“Sure, I’ll take you on anytime,” Jackson replies. 

There’s a brief pause between all of you. You wouldn’t call it tension, more like testosterone in the air. You slip out of Jackson’s hold immediately moving to Jinyoung’s side linking your arm through his. “Looks like dinner is just about ready,” You say in the nick of time as you see people making their way to their seats.

Jinyoung moved his arm to slide around your waist as he pulled you close. Almost possessively. You were to preoccupied with the seating arrangement that you missed the very quick and very clear look Jinyoung gave Jackson. They may have competed against each other in tennis and Jinyoung may have lost, but he was not going to compete and lose you. 

Your reunion with Jackson didn’t end. He sat beside you during dinner. The two of you reminiscing on old times, and discussing new things in life, mocking Janine as she asked for numerous substitutes that she may as well have just drank water. 

“Shh,” you laughed, nudging Jackson as he whispered in your ear about Janine’s ‘lopped sided’ boob job. 

“Excuse me,” Jinyoung says as he gets up. 

You grab him by the hand, “You okay?”

Jinyoung leans down and kisses your temple, “Getting a drink,” he smiles before walking off. 

Jackson leans over, “He hates me,” 

You shake your head keeping your gaze on Jinyoung as he moves between tables. “Maybe cause you beat him in tennis,” 

“Or maybe because I’ve been occupying his girl all night,” Jackson prods. 

“He’s not like that,” you fiddle. Besides, it wasn’t real. Why would he feel like that?

Jackson stares at you blankly as if you were missing the biggest flashing lights in front of you. “With the way he looks at you and the way he looks at me like he wants to take me outside and gut me. I’d say he’s crazy about you,”

You glanced towards the bar and saw that Jinyoung was watching you steadily. You balled the napkin in your lap. Your thoughts flashing back to your kiss in the hallway. He had been the one to initiate it. Nothing about that kiss reflected ‘chaste’ like in your agreement. Your thoughts following were definitely far from innocent. 

“Dance?” 

“Hmm?” you turn to Jackson then you notice the music playing in the background. “Sure,” you grin. You take his hand, getting up from the seat as you follow him to the floor. 

Jinyoung stood there at the bar, battling back jealousy that he’s never felt before as he watched you with Jackson. Your ex’s words getting to him and crawling under his skin. Your dress clung, flowed with your movements and Jackson’s hand moved further down your back side.  He knew what it was like to hold you like that, to feel your body against his. To hold you close. He wasn’t like this. Wasn’t supposed to be like this. He didn’t care about what's real or not, he wasn’t the type to let another man whisk his woman away. He cursed as he strode out to the dance floor.

“Looks like I’ll see you later,” Jackson smiles triumphantly at you, kissing you on the cheek as he feels Jinyoung  tap on his shoulder. When he walked away he figured you had a keeper. Your ex always stood by idly with you and him and he deemed him unworthy since he couldn’t hold his own. Jinyoung was just as worthy of an opponent outside of the tennis court. Jackson only wondered how you could be so blind to not see that your boyfriend was crazy, head over heels for you. 

Jinyoung picked up rhythm perfectly, matching his steps to yours and to the music. You relaxed, closing the little distance between yourselves, resting your cheek against his shoulder. Enjoying the moment with him though you wondered if it was for show. You hated how you couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake. The kiss earlier was that real? The way he looked at you, did he look at other women like that? At this moment, all you wanted to do was enjoy the time you had with him. 

“You and Jackson are pretty close,” Jinyoung murmurs as you both sway. 

“We’ve been friends for a while,” somehow you feel the need to explain it to him. 

“Does he also know about our arrangement?” 

“No,” you answer. 

“Good.” 

He doesn’t say anything else, only continues to hold you close while the music played. Others had started to file onto the dance floor. Mark had pulled your best friend away from the dessert table and pulled her close. 

“If you and Jackson are so close, why didn’t you ask him to be your date to the wedding?” 

Something in Jinyoung’s tone had you draw back and look up to see his face. “It would be weird. No one would believe that we were together,” 

“Why would you two have to pretend? It could very much be real,” You were tempted to laugh, but the look in Jinyoung’s eyes had you hold back. “I don’t know what you mean,” 

“I believe you do.” 

“If I’m catching on correctly then I think you’re crazy. He’s just a friend,” You defend.

“I may be your fake boyfriend but I’m not an idiot,” even as the words came out he realized the unfairness behind them, maybe he was an idiot.  

His words sting, catching you off guard. Your stomach knotting at the sudden confrontation. You quickly look around hoping no one was in earshot. 

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you but maybe we shouldn’t discuss it here,” you stiffened. 

“You’re right,” and with that Jinyoung grabs your wrist and pulls you from the dance floor. Jackson who’s now at the bar smiles to himself as he takes a pull from his beer. 

“Jinyoung!” You call out his name as you try your best to keep up with his pace. Getting over the first initial shock. You had passed by your parents, your mother murmuring delightfully ‘lovers quarrel’ as Jinyoung drags you through the room. Even as you passed your best friend she winked at you. 

“What’s going on?” You say as you finally enter the room and are behind closed doors. 

“I don’t know,” Jinyoung runs a hand through his hair as he paces the room. He lets out a sigh, loosening the buttons of his dress shirt, then rolling up his sleeves feeling claustrophobic. He was being irrational and he knew it, yet unable to control it. 

“Well you almost blew this whole thing up.” 

“I know,” Jinyoung sighs as his pacing comes to a halt. “I know,” he repeats. 

“You were being ridiculous. Jackson is nothing more than a close friend,” you state firmly starting to get riled up. You could only imagine what would’ve happened if someone heard.  “And even so it shouldn’t matter,” 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because this is fake,” you try and laugh but you hesitate,“Right?” 

“You’re an idiot,” 

Your eyes widen with shock, lips parting in surprise as a mixture of fury and hurt build. 

Jinyoung steps towards you, placing his hands on your arms. “I’m in love with you. I’m not acting, my feelings for you are real. I don’t want your money, I want you. I want to stop pretending and damn it, I want to take you on a date when this is all over so you could be my real girlfriend,” 

“What?” Is all you could say as you try and register everything. You place your hands on his chest, trying to push him away so you could think yet he doesn’t budge. 

“You’re amazing, beautiful, funny and even though I got that crash course I want to take my time to get to know you,” Jinyoung continues, then he pulls away just far enough to look down at you. “Unless this is completely one sided then never mind I do want the money,” 

You laugh, shaking your head as you bring your arms to wrap around his neck. “You don’t know how much I wanted this to be real,” 

He kisses your forehead before you see his smile of relief. “So are we still doing chaste kisses?” he teases. 

“Only in front of my parents,” you grin, initiating the kiss first. 

It may have started off chaste but soon he pulled you close against him. His hands moving to lower back as he draws your body to him. You give, yielding against him. Jinyoung’s mouth is pliant against yours, enticing as his name rolled off your lips in a quiet, satisfied sigh. There it was again, the heat, the roaring boil that ignited with his movements. You had never kissed like this, never been kissed like this, everything that had built throughout the week spilling over the edges in complete and gratifying pleasure. Your fingers twine in his hair as your movements deepened.  Nothing is innocent about this and everything down to Jinyoung’s hand tugging at the hem of your dress and guiding you towards the bed broke your ‘ground rules’.  Soon your back is lain against the soft mattress, Jinyoung’s body hovering over yours. It had been so long that even the way his knee moves between your legs has you ready to go over the edge. His hands are tender, caressing, seducing as the hem of your dress rides higher up your thigh. His hands aren’t the only thing exploring, his lips are now at your jugular. Even more lethal than his hands as he stokes the lust that continues to build. With his hands on your hips he coaxes you to move, as if knowing what you wanted. You begin to grind against his thigh, thankful for the choice of undergarments. Silently thanking yourself for wearing your sexy underwear, not to mention your thinnest. Slowly you grind against the taut muscle of his clothed thigh. 

Jinyoung  pulls away for barely a moment just enough for you to see his smile before he dives back. Tongue meeting yours eagerly. “J-Jinyoung,” you breathe when his mouth moves to explore your neck once again. It wasn’t enough, every kiss made you want him more. Desire soaked you, the need to be ravaged filled you yet you feel empty. 

 His hand slides lower, between your legs as it brushes over lace. You suck in a breath at the contact, so delicate yet the feeling hits you hard. You arched against the sensation, urging for more. Jinyoung obliges, sliding your panties aside. He teases, fingers gliding up your slit. You were wet, the sound of it mixed with your heavy breathing filled the room. You groan out loud when Jinyoung begins making perfect circles around your swollen clit. Your dress is hiked up to your waist, the barrier of lace the only thing preventing you from being completely exposed. 

“God, are you always like this?” Jinyoung murmurs as his fingers slide to either side of your clit, watching at how reactive you are at his ministrations. 

“It’s been so long and you do it so well,”  you exhale, hands digging into your sheets. “Don’t stop Jinyoung,” you moan when his fingers enter you, his thumb rubbing against your clit.

“Believe me, I’m not going to,” Jinyoung says as he lowers his lips to yours again.  You moan as his fingers continue to pump and twist within you. Already you’re nearing delirium, the thrust of his hand is meticulous. His movements purposeful, especially as he rubs his arousal-coated fingertips around your sensitive bundle of nerves before plunging into you again. Your eyes are shut tight, flashing white and sparks of colored pleasure appearing. Your moans are ardent, your skin damp. When he pulls his hands away you almost groan out of frustration. So close to toppling over the edge and now you clench around nothing.  “Relax,” Jinyoung grins as if reading your mind. You see his smirk, “I just want a taste,” 

You’re still trying to gather your bearings as Jinyoung pulls back, kneeling and moving down. Your legs are still spread as Jinyoung hooks his hands into the waistband of your panties and pulls them down. Tossing them somewhere in the room. His mouth hovers over your sex and you wait in anticipation. Immediately you buckle, arching up and hands fisting in his hair the minute his tongue grazes your sensitive clit. When his lips close over your sex, his name leaves your lips in a rasp. His tongue and lips intermixing that builds you towards impending climax. His arms are hooked around your thighs, there was no escape, no matter how sensitive you were becoming. He’s merciless, relinquishing with the work of his mouth on your core. Every now and then you can see Jinyoung look up from the top of his lash line, as if watching to see your next reaction and what a mess you were becoming all from his doing. 

You were learning new things about him. He was a giver, a sadist, good at everything. At this very moment Park Jinyoung was going to be your downfall. It was sweet torture, pure unadulterated pleasure continued to saturate you. His tongue drags up your clit back down to your core, swirling, probing. Every movement immoral, purposeful. The sound he was eliciting from you obscene and surely he knew that no one has ever eaten you out like this. 

“I can’t,” you moan. Your body is shaking, you’re holding onto whatever sanity you have left. Thighs quiver as they close around him. You want to push him away yet instead your hands in his hair pulls him closer. Jinyoung knows, his chuckle haunts you as he keeps his hold around your knees. His tongue is meticulous, your hips are arched and pushed high. With another flick and circle of the hard muscle of his tongue your climax is released. You’re over the edge, coming down hard and he doesn’t let up. You’re cursing and his name leaves your lips on an oath repeatedly. Your breath is caught in the back of your throat. Jinyoung kneels up on the bed, looking down at you. Using the back of his hand to wipe your remnants. 

You’re putty, you can’t even prop yourself up onto your elbows. You don’t even have the energy to pull your dress back down. Though something in the way Jinyoung looks at you says there’s no point. Your gaze trails down his torso, fixing on the outline of his dress pants that’s prominent. You nip your bottom lip in anticipation, suddenly feeling full of energy. 

“What are you doing?” Jinyoung grins, cocking his brow as you find the strength to kneel in front of him. 

“Returning the favor,” you say as you work the buttons of his pants. He doesn’t resist as you bring the zipper down. He works the buttons of his dress shirt and the chiseled plain of chest is revealed and as more of his torso is exposed you can’t help but have your jaw drop. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” 

“What?” 

“Is there anything wrong with you?” You tease, making a blatant point to skim your eyes over his body. 

“I - what?” Jinyoung asks flustered.

“Nothing,” you laugh before you kiss him, your hand trailing downwards. He is already hard, straining against the cotton material. He tugs your bottom lip as you grasp the top of his boxers tugging them down. He sighs when he’s freed, cock springing up as you held back another comment about how surreal he truly is. It’s his turn to curse as your hand wraps around the base of his shaft. You begin in slow, long strokes. Rubbing your thumb against his tip, spreading his pre arousal along his sensitive head. Jinyoung exhales, eyes shut as he enjoys the way you stroke him. 

“Y/N I - oh fuck,” His sentence is cut off when you bend, taking him into your mouth. Your head bobs. Tongue moving in circular motion along his shaft. Jinyoung groans as you take him as deep as you could, he’s big enough that you need to use your hand as well. His breathing is shallow, as you continue to move up and down, hand and mouth on his cock. You find it satisfying, you’re practically smug when Jinyoung’s hands fist in your hair, groaning as his head tilts back. He even begins to guide you, helping you find your rhythm as your mouth works his cock. Using his technique from earlier, interchanging between both your hand and your mouth. 

“Ah - Y/N,” Jinyoung juts his hips back suddenly. A trail of your saliva follows, you look up at him wide eyed. Jinyoung chuckles pushing his hair back, “You’re about to test my pride,”  You grin up at him smugly. “Come here,” he pulls you back to him, his hands resting on your cheek as he pulls you in for a kiss. 

You slide both hands up the planes of his body until resting on his shoulders. He kisses you, tongue flicking against yours. He reaches the hem of your dress and you raise your arms as he pulls it over your body. Letting it join the rest of your garments on the floor. Lips only separating for that brief moment before reunited again.  He guides you to lay down once again, positioning himself between your legs. His hand rests along your rib cage, fingers grazing the underside of your breasts. 

“Mmm,” you squirm against him as he caresses your breast.The pads of his thumb grazing against your nipple, circling. He presses soft kisses to the crook of your neck, then he bends closing his mouth of your breast. The heat you felt earlier that was dwindled mildly reignited. Set a flame. He presses himself to your center. Your hips rolls in roll response, feeling him at the edge of your entrance. “Jinyoung,” you moan at the stretch. You had expected it but god, he filled you. You had to adjust, hiking your knee up to give him more leeway as he slowly begins to thrust into you. Your hips arched higher, he rolls his hips and he glides in further, bottoming out. Your fingers are digging into his shoulders with his precise, slow strokes. You’re matching each other’s rhythms, moving in sync together. Unified as one as each other’s moans and breaths fill the room. Jinyoung’s hands fist in the sheets by your head, his lips feverishly moving with yours. Your clenching around him, uncontrollable pleasure rocks and shakes through your body. You moan, arching against him as Jinyoung continues to thrust within you as you come around him. His hips snap forward, thrusts erratic. Your name leaves his lips as Jinyoung comes as well, filling you. Thrusts slowing, with long strokes. Still joined Jinyoung collapses on you. You laugh, hands limply running through his hair as small kisses to your face and shoulder are made lazily. 

“How much do I owe you for that?” You sigh. 

 You laugh when Jinyoung pinches your butt. 

Jinyoung lets out a low groan rolling off you and tugging you along with him. You wrap your arms around him, heading snuggled on his chest. Jinyoung lazily caresses your side. 

“So the wedding is tomorrow,” Jinyoung murmurs. 

“I know, I can’t believe how fast this week went,” you yawn. “I’m going to miss all the fine dining and cocktails,” 

“That’s not going to end,” Jinyoung kisses your temple. 

You look up at him, “It’s not?”

Jinyoung adjusts, “Pretty sure all the dates I take you will have some form of cocktails,” 

Dates. Real dates. You and Jinyoung were officially a couple. It all seemed surreal. 

You adjust, propping yourself on your elbows to face him, “And what about fine dining?”

Jinyoung grins leaning up to kiss you, “My instant noodle skills are impeccable,”  

You smile and bend to kiss him, “I can’t wait,” 

“Can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle tomorrow,” Jinyoung says pulling you back to lay against him. 

“Are you sure? I love my best friend and everything but her choice in color is…” you trail off and scrunch your face at the thought of your peach tulle dress in the closet. 

“You look great in anything,” Jinyoung chuckles, “but I have to say,” he says shifting himself again over top of you, “This is my favorite look by far,” he brushes your love tousled hair. 

“Maybe I’ll show up naked to the wedding and see if everyone else would like this look as well,” You tease. 

Jinyoung smiles, “Knowing your mother…” he doesn’t even have to finish his sentence for you to know. 

He lays back down holding you close to him. You snuggled against him. “Cuddling isn’t so bad after all,” 

Jinyoung raises his eyebrow at first, “Well I’m glad you think so,” he buries his face in the crook of your neck. “Cause I’m a cuddler,” he murmurs. 

You smile. Who would have thought that three weeks ago your search for a fake boyfriend would get you a real one. 

[dumbfuck-mojave]

FNV Companions React to Someone Being Aggressive Towards Rex.

@spidester basically came up with this idea.

TW: Mentions of violence against humans and animals. Some sexual flirtation. Swearing is the norm at this point

Fucking IDEK if these are out of character anymore we just roll with it. Also, shitty and inconsistent writing and react length ahoy. Also yes I lied and said this was going to be out last night but I got sick please understand-

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Arcade: Six had dragged him into Ultra-Luxe because once again, they were being stupid and trying to beat some sort of goal they had set for themselves earlier that day at the gambling tables. Rex had also come in with them, but had wandered off with his snout up in the air towards the kitchens. While Six was focusing on the Blackjack table Arcade heard a sudden yip and bark behind him and turned to see two people laughing and kicking the poor dog. They weren’t dressed like the people that would usually gamble here and they certainly weren’t a White Glove, so Arcade just assumed they were some travelers that didn’t know Six’s reputation and love for their canine companion. Also angry at the situation unfolding, Arcade briskly made his way over to them.

“Excuse me-”

“Fuck off.” 

Now, that made Arcade very unhappy. Honestly, he expected them to be rude, but was still a little surprised at how quickly they shot him down, not even trying to start an argument or anything. Yet.

“Listen, gentlemen.” Arcade said sharply, “I suggest you leave now because you’d much rather deal with me telling you how vile of people you are than for my friend over at the Blackjack table getting word of what you’ve been doing to their dog.”

“Oh, tough guy, eh? Well guess what, we don’t give a shit about what you or your idiot friend have to say!” The taller of the men sneard, getting right up in Arcade’s face. “Fucking forget it, the dumb dog isn’t worth our time. They ran out of booze a while ago anyway.”

Arcade gave them a look of disinterest as the semi-stumbled out the door. He made….. eye contact?..... with one of the masked servers when he looked away from them, who also seemed relieved that the two men were gone, probably because they had trached dust and mud throughout the entire main room.  Making his way back to Six, Arcade was going over scenarios in his head about what Six would do once he told them. Turns out one of his guessed scenarios was true. He did know Six very well after all. Unfortunately for the men, they had decided to sleep naked that night and Six had found out where they were staying through a few connections. A few hours later the men’s clothes were strung up on and lit on fire in the middle of Freeside, with the neat edition of shoving several hungry geckos into the men’s hotel room. The men ran out into the Mojave, naked and with a few flesh chunks missing from their body, while Rex gnawed happily on his Brahmin Steak in the Lucky 38. 

Boone: A Legion party had ambushed them just outside of Red Rock Canyon as they were making their way towards Vegas from Goodsprings. The system they had was working well enough, Boone had managed to climb his way up on the hill to the right of the road and was sniping them from afar while Six was up close with their ripper. It was hard to get solid damaging headshots on them since they were those dumb helmets, but if he got lucky Six would get close enough to rip one of their helmets off so he could get a clear shot through their skull. Usually, there were 4 Legionaries in a party but Caesar must have really wanted Six dead at this point, so they were currently being surrounded by at least 12, possibly even more. As Six drop-kicked two legionaries into each other, Boone noticed one of the other Legionaries targeting Rex and backing him up against the Canyon wall. Luckily for Boone and unfortunately for the Legionnaire, there was no helmet in sight. Boone lined up the shot and it entered the target’s head with a whiz and a squish. As the now-corpse fell to the ground, the group of three reorganized amongst the carnage. Rex sat down at Boone’s feet and looked up at him, mouth open and panting. 

“Don’t look at him like that.” Boone said in a monotone voice, making the Courier laugh beside him.

“Boone, you’re talking to a dog.” The Courier started on their way once again to Vegas, looking down at the dog now trotting beside them.

“You want to go see the King Rex?”

*Bark*

“Look who’s talking to the dog now.” 

Veronica and Cassidy: The girls had decided to hang out together today, without the Courier. They also had Rex in tow and were currently sitting at the Atomic Wrangler’s counter. Both of these women were at least three bottles in each already and their laughter poured through the casino as Veronica slouched over and snorted at one of Cass’ merchant stories.

“There is *snort* there is no way he did that.” Veronica wheezed out, falling into another fit of laughter.

“He did! He just grabbed that fucker by his-”

Their conversation was cut off when a man walked over to them. Much too confidently, I might add. They both looked up at him in disgust and annoyance. 

“So, what are two beautiful ladies doing out here all alone. You know, why don’t we all go upstairs and have a little *fun* together. ” The man leaned in so far he almost touched noses with Veronica. Rex had been sitting idly with his head in his paws on the floor until this moment. When the man leaned in, Rex growled and stood up, brisling at the man. 

“Dumb dog.” The man grumbled, swinging out his hand and hitting Rex in the head. Now no one knew if the man had meant to hit Rex so hard that he slammed his glass dome into the counter, but it didn’t matter now. Veronica pushed up off the counter and shoved the man back.

“Who do you think you are?! First, you come up to two ladies who are CLEARLY disinterested in you, interrupt their good time, then you have the audacity to hit our dog?!” Veronica practically yelled, drawing attention from several others in the room. Two people in particular had the look in their eyes that was almost begging to see a fight.

“Listen, girlie, I do what I want, ok?” The man growled, cut off by Veronica shoving his back against the counter, “Oh, girlie, you want to start right now?” 

“She doesn’t want to do anything with you. Nobody would.” Cass said as she finally stood up, looking over Veronica’s shoulder.

“Now come on ladies, no need to fight over me.” The man slurred, the beginnings of a wolfish grin on his face. 

Now, Ronnie may be small but she has a power fist and can fuck some people up. In a flash, the man was on his knees with both arms straining behind him, courtesy of Cass. Veronica unveiled her power fist and a spark of fear appeared in the man’s eyes as she swung it dainlity near his temple.

“I could swing my fist sideways right now.” She started swinging faster and more aggressively, “And give you a good lesson about how to treat others around you with an indent on your head to remind you.” 

“N-No!”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure it would be no trouble for my friend here.” Cass sneered, tightening her grip on the man’s arms, making him squeal out in man. 

“Please, please! No!” 

As the once confident man was damn near sobbing just at the prospect of getting hit, Veronica and Cass looked up at each other and grinned. Dragging the man outside, Veronica used her unarmored fist to hit him into a puddle of… something. The man stumbled to his feet and looked back in fear at the doorway. Then sprinted off. 

“DAMN! NEXT TIME YOU START A FIGHT YOU BETTER BE ABLE TO FINISH IT!” Cass yelled after him before they retreated into the casino once more.

. On their way back in, two figures walked out the door, following the now out of sight man. Sometimes, if you want to see a fight, you just have to start one yourself. 

Ed-E: *Pulls out laser canon* “Beep beepbeep bop'' Translation: “You bitch ass motherfucker”. Even if Rex sometimes drools on Ed-E or accidentally whips a ball at it’s shell, Ed-E will still protecc and attacc. 

Lily: Ok no but honestly and sorry to disappoint but any scenario involving her reacting to this is just them fighting, her calling the Courier Jimmy, then absolutely rocking the perpetrators shit. Like, tear that person in half grandma. I wanted to write a longer thing out….unless

Raul: He and Six had decided to stop at 188 Trading Post for the night instead of attempting to walk all the way back to Vegas. They were low on supplies, tired and hungry, and Raul’s back was acting up again. Samuel was nice enough to let Raul lie down for a bit on one of the mattresses behind the bar while Six was focusing on cleaning their weapons and bartering. Just as he was about to drift off, he heard Six’s voice speak up above the radio.

“Don’t touch my goddamn dog like that!” 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do you fucking piece of shit! Oh fuck-” 

Raul stood up and peered around the corner to see a rather interesting sight. Six was straddling some random man and aggressively slapping his hands away when he tried to reach for them, all while screaming every obscene thing they’ve ever been taught, even some things in Spanish thanks to Raul. Samuel was looking very concerned at the bar, not wanting to get directly involved in this mess while Rex was barking his head off in the man's face. After Raul managed to drag Six off the man, he found out the man was an associate of Alexander and was talking about making a deal with him when Rex came up to him to sniff his hand. Agitated, the man reached down and put his fist around Rex’s muzzle, yanking him up on his back to legs. Nothing escalated past that point as Six had entered the picture by then. They eventually decided to just walk back to Vegas that night and extend their break home, but damn if Raul wasn’t impressed and kind of flattered at the way they gracefully told a man how they were going to cut out this tongue and feed it to rats. Raul is dad.

(The insult thing was definitely a nod to one of @nuclear-reactions posts)

Thank you for reading! Requests are open!

[twatd]

Once Again

We return. WicDiv is in the final stretch, and so is TWATD. The first of our two essays on #44, focusing on the issue’s echoes and callbacks. Spoilers – like oh so many spoilers – below the cut.

Alex: Remember issue #14 of The Wicked + The Divine? The Woden remix issue? I reckon, with a bit of ingenuity, you could use the same method – cutting up panels from elsewhere in the series, pasting them in new contexts – to make a fan edit of #44, front to back.

The issue is crammed tight with echoes of old images. It put me in mind of Avengers: Endgame, the way it’s constantly calling back to moments from the past twenty-one movies, and the criticism of that tendency as ‘fan service’.

In WicDiv, this echoing feels inevitable. The series has always had its repeating motifs. Going  back to the very first issue, we get a whole host of phrases we’ll be seeing over and over: “Once again, we return.” 1-2-3-4. “I’ll miss you.” “Don’t.” Kllk. And images, too – from that very first cover, with its carefully-framed headshot echoed on the first page inside, something the first arc plays with again and again.

But what is the purpose of it, other than reminding us of something we’ve seen and loved in the past?

To answer that, let’s look at some specific examples – beginning, as the issue does, with Lucifer. From the very first panel of her, stood in a variation on her classic power pose, Luci is pretty much playing the Greatest Hits here. She lights a cigarette on her own inferno, holding a familiar eyebrow-cocked expression. She teases a finger-click, taking us back to the courtroom. Her threat of violence to Laura, framed side-on, recalls Lucifer’s murder in issue #5, and Ananke’s millennia of practice for that moment as seen in #36.

Lucifer wraps herself in motifs and echoes possibly more than any other character this issue, and it feels like armour. She’s the one member of the Pantheon clinging on to the lie of godhood, playing her role because it protects her from the consequences of what she’s done. She’s perpetuating Ananke’s cycle, and so she reaches for the easy iconograpy, the tropes, of the Lucifer myth.

It’s worth noting that most of these images are inverted. In that last example, Lucifer stays on the same side of the panel, but switches her role, from victim to the position of power. Even the colours of her outfit are flipped – white to black, blue to red – and her pose too, with arms up rather than down. Tim is going to be exploring the Two Girls in Hell sequence in his essay, so I won’t go too deep on that, except to point out that when Laura saves Luci, it’s by taking Ananke’s “I’ve missed you” and making it sincere.

#44 does this over and over, taking a familiar motif and inverting the meaning. We’ve heard a lot of variations on “it’s okay”. Minerva, begging Ananke to tell her it’s going to be okay, a conversation we’ve likely all had with ourselves at some point. Its answer at the end of that arc, laid out in black and white: “It was never going to be okay.”

Here, it’s Dionysus who wields the phrase, and for the first time “it’s okay” isn’t a lie. Dio isn’t pretending that death won’t come for us all, or that Minerva’s situation is anything less than fucked. Instead, he’s encouraging her not to fear the inevitable. He isn’t offering denial, but acceptance.

Then there’s the other character interaction Minerva has this issue, which inverts something familiar in a much uglier way – her relationship with Baal. Time and time again, we’ve seen Baal wrap his arms around Minerva’s tiny frame. It’s indicative of the role he thought he played in her life, somewhere between bigger brother and father figure, but he now knows this was just a way of manipulating him.

In #44, Baal takes Minerva in his arms one last time, with very different intent. That big hand, able to cup her entire head, used to comfort or protect her, is used instead to smother. That tight embrace becomes a murder weapon. The contrast turns what could be a triumphant moment – this is the defeat of WicDiv’s big bad, after all – into an unsettling one.

Of course, it wasn’t much better the last time WicDiv’s big bad got taken out, as #44 is ready to remind us. The issues it draws from more than any other are the series’ first, and its midpoint. #22 and #44 are both stories about what happens when you beat the minions and get to the dark lord in their tower to find them helpless.

Here the repeated image – Laura with arm outstretched weighing up whether to kill the villain – acts as a kind of mental hyperlink. We’ve been here before. Twice before, in fact, just a couple of issues apart. (The second also introduced the idea of Woden’s kill-switch video release, which is vitally important to where this issue ends up.)

Both times, Laura hesitated – and then acted anyway. Our expectations are primed for the same thing to happen again. But, as any comedian will tell you, you set up pattern on the first and the second beat, then break it on the third.

This time, Laura hesitates – and is talked down. We see how much she’s grown as a character, because she’s put in the exact same situation, right down to the composition of the image and the people around her – Cassandra always hovers over her shoulder like a goth Jiminy Cricket – but the outcome is different.

I’ve mentioned fan service already, but there’s an alternative term I’ve been skirting around: payoff. A good final chapter (depending on how you view the epilogue) should bring together the threads of the story up to that point. That’s as true of WicDiv as it is of Endgame, as it is of a Dickens novel.

I do still worry about accessibility – how much of this comes across if you’ve only read each issue once, like a normal person – but maybe that’s not giving enough credit to the fantastic work of Jamie McKelvie + Matt Wilson making these images so immediately iconic, so mentally sticky, that you can recognise their vague outline five years later. As Tim suggested when I raised this question, these connections are likely kicking around in the subconscious of a more casual reader, even if they couldn’t put together the full serial-killer wall I’m making here.

There’s another thing, too. The fact that all these echoes are backing up feels indicative of what Laura is trying to do: breaking the cycle. Ananke’s six millennia-long plan is in its death throes, and this is one final twitch. Over and over, the issue shows that while the circumstances and tools might be the same, intent can change the meaning and outcome.

I suspect we’ll be free of echoes next issue, for the first time. I wonder if I’ll miss them.

Enjoyed this essay? You’ve got like 24 more hours to throw a bit of cash our way over at patreon.com/timplusalex, before we close down the Patreon in August. Think of it as a going-away present. Or a tip.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 41

Spoilers, obv.

After last issue's formalism, this one just accelerates. And, as everything in this arc, everything is a big beat. If everything is a big beat, how do you choose what to spend your space on? What beats really matter? How do you pace it? What can be a grace note and what's a scene? That's what this issue, and the rest of the arc, tends to be about.

This issue has gone down very well. I'll admit that while I absolutely gasped when I got paged in, I suspect it's going to be least favourite of the whole arc. That more says how much I enjoy the rest of the arc. Also, as a friend put it to me, I may be allergic to making people happy.

Let’s get on with this.

Jamie and Matt's cover:

There is, to some degree, a "Who hasn't had a headshot cover?" to this arc. As such, Mimir finally gets his. This is a glorious one – the pinks and blues, work really well, and the circuitboards frame it well. Obviously, Mimir plays a big role in this issue, so it is thematic. As is…

Paulina's cover

I just love Paulina's covers, as her being the regular alt-cover artist on Thunderbolt should imply. This made me want to immediately pitch a kick-ass pop D&D bard comic to someone, Xena Warrior Princess as produced by Xenomania. The names of the swords are the chef-kiss, but there's so much to love. The expression is everything.

Page 1

One page scene, with a modified nine panel grid. The one page scene is something that happens a lot this arc. I did a two-page version, but with the right seven panels, we're sorted. Yes, this is all we see of the de facto antagonists of the series this issue – when last issue was all about them, it doesn't worry me too much.

Page 2

Standard music journalist concept. That the second album tends to be worst than the first. Hard to prove, though my old friend Peter's note that "you have your whole life preparing for your first album and have a year to do your second" does seem to imply an easy explanation.

Page 3-4-5

Stealth mission! It's Metal Gear WicDiv!

We actually forgot to add the flashes to the first panel until the very last minute. Monthly Comics is a hell of a time sometimes, stress the “hell.”

I love the determination of Laura in the second panel of 3. That's great eyes.

Looking at this now, that "I can't do much now" is in a panel smaller than 1/9th of the page says a lot about the scale she's working on. The background was Matt in full trippy mode – I had a friend note that this scene is a little akin to Kohl in Rue Britannia 5 (The difference being Kohl is using nostalgia for a performance, while Laura is just doing a performance) but the moving squiggle does remind me the use of optical illusions in Phonogram 3. Bugs in the optic nerve are our friend.

Panel 3 on 4 is obviously Clayton living large and conquering. When you ask for something like "Can you sample the background and use as a speech balloon" you have no idea if it's going to work.

We could have divided the middle panel into two, but I suspect it'd have been less effective. We've seen the trick before. Now we see the same trick, but different. Mix it up. We're performers.

Hmm. I realise the Norns string of balloons is something I'm doing more often now – it's not something I've always done. I'm normally a one-panel-one-emotion, which strings of dialogue rarely allow (as, if there’s any change of emotion inside the string, the image is rendered ludicrous). In a middle shot, and a strong emotional throughline with the dialogue and I'm more okay with it.

While this whole three pages is an action sequence, it's also exposition for Laura's current state. The best exposition is demonstration, I guess.

I mean, the last panel of page 5? That's how cut to the bone we are. Problem? Solve it. Problem? Solve it. We don't need to fuck around anymore.

Page 6-7-8

And after six whole trades, the reunion between Lucifer and Laura. I suspect a different writer would have played this bigger and more melodramatic, but when the reader knows this, a splash feels overkill, especially with the taut pacing of the rest of the issue. However... there are five panels here. That's a page's worth of content, and enough to give an emotional throughline.

Sometimes when writing it's all about trying to find an honest response which is also unexpected. Like, in life, you think you'll feel sad or happy at certain times, but when you live through it, you don't. Or you don't entirely. What other stuff is happening? That's what rings true to me.

Anyway – that's where Laura's Guilt comes from. Laura at her most Dionysus.

And then Lucifer shatters all that self pity with the wink. Did you miss me? Of course, you did.

Page 7, panel 4 is one of those "a comic panel is not a moment in time" bits of magic McLeod always talks about. As in, as we read across the panel time progresses. The Mimir/Cass conversation is getting on for... 10 seconds, maybe? The teleport signatures do not take that long to appear. It's only with Laura's interruption that panel kicks into high gear.

As Multiversity noted you can easily imagine another draft of this with a bigger fight scene. And it's true – but also lying around was a version which cuts it even shorter. Do we need to really give a whole page to Cass breaking out? I felt so. Without the big beat, it feels flat. And it's good to see Cass let rip.

The slight angle on Jamie's external shot with a Norns black/white plus golden thread from Matt is really interesting. We don't often see the Norns as combatants in WicDiv, so this is a rare chance to give Cass a "Hello, I am a bad ass too, in case you've forgotten."

Page 9-10-11-12

Cripes. Going this and making notes I can't believe how tightly we're winding this and (more so) getting away from it. We did all this in four pages?

Two panels to the escape – the right image and a handful of taut captions to hold you between scenes. The first is doing a lot of work, but the second is just elegant. What do you need but the broken doors? Great stuff by Jamie here.

(Laura's captions do a lot of work here in setting up the themes, and the return of Sakhmet's memory to the story)

If you're wondering "How on earth could we get the escape be quicker, it's to take the first two panels on page 8 and move to the previous page. That makes it a five panel page, which is entirely do-able. That's a cost, but it would have bought slightly more space in this scene. As it is, I preferred to cut mid-page and end with Lucifer's first spoken lines in ages.

Once more, a big reveal in a small panel. Chrissy's note on the script was basically hearts for Luci at this point. Like, the second she cuts to the chase and tell s people what to do...

...and then the page turn, and she just goes full Lucifer. I know you lot have missed her, but I have too.

Getting back to Inanna was also easy, the sweetheart... but it all leads back to Sakhmet. That Mothering Invention was as tight as it was didn't leave much room for Laura to think about Sakhmet, or mourn at all... or, most of all, make it clear the story (and Laura) considers her loss important and real. It's an awful sad panel at the end of the page.

Inanna's voice was easy to find again. He's such a sweetheart. Tara is a little harder, just as I wrote her less, but I've been fascinated by this arc in terms of writing her as an actual character. I think one of the ironies of issue 13 was that it put Tara on a pedestal, and the pedestal is an objectifying as any other cage. Getting her back as a character is wonderful, and she gets to be as messy and flawed as everyone else.

Inanna not knowing ANY of this is hard. That's the problem with most of this arc – there is so much information flying around, and secrets some (but not all) are aware of. Who gets to respond to what and when? What to remind people of? What to let slide? Inanna not knowing about Baal is so huge it had to be hit and hit hard.

And then... the bodies.

When plotting this and trying to work out how I could get the cast – oh god, this is not a deliberate pun, but it's also clearly a pun - back on their feet, I was thinking of the Morrigan Gambit. Three heads, three bodies. Perfect. Then I remembered Mimir, and swore. I started to think about how that would be a tense, dramatic situation and how the personal politics could play out and I realised that Tara would just turn it down. I then realised that's exactly how the scene would work too.

(In a "tightness" thing, I suspect in another world, this scene would have been two pages. The "and Tara then just butts in" is the key thing, but you could get the timing a little more intricate to sell the moment more – still, even in this page, I could have extended it more, but seeing Tara's elaboration and everyone else's response to it was just key work for them all.)

In passing – Mimir's glowing in the dark in the penultimate panel just wonderful. Nice work Jamie and Matt.

Page 13

From the Sisters of Mercy's song, Marian.

Page 14-15-16-17

Here's where you talk about spending space. What's important here? You need the scale to show what Baph has been doing – and Jamie turns it into something astoundingly gothic. The use of blacks, the use of light and shade. Just the right level of suggestive. It’s one of my favourite bits of composition in the issue.

As the pantheon are getting back together, this leads to an increase in crowd scenes, which are the eternal artist killer. As such, I'm looking for solutions which only involve the absolute minimum of the cast in a scene.

Thee was an awful moment earlier in the issue when I went – wait! Do I have too many heads to carry? Then I realised I was fine. That said, finding places to put them down so we can have chat scenes was also somewhat tricky. The shelf turning up on page 15 is an example. Clealry Baph planned to (er) have a place to keep heads.

Well, I say, Baph, but it's clearly Nergal now. The road from early Nick Cave to late Nick Cave has been a long way. It's a great shot.

To go back to the space, why spend it on this? We’re reintroducing Nergal and Morrigan, and we’re also showing the scale of them in the plot, and the actions of Nergal. Where we go with the bodies is such a big beat, it needs to come from something similarly large. That’s also the reason why so much (relative in the issue) space is spent on the Morrigan/Nergal scenes. Of course, it’s also a key scene for this subplot, so demands space for that. It’s rarely just one reason. Probably a useful time for my usual “these notes are only ever a selection of thoughts.”

This is also a serious pose panel by Jamie.

The “I could bring her back.” He’s an underworld god too. If she could do it, he could. This is something which I suspect some people thought implicit in the old scene, but the final manipulation of Morrigan is unpacked at length in the nine panel grids.

Nine panel grids are a natural rhythm for this – when I was planning the later bit the triple-goddess of it made obvious sense, so it expanded to the whole scene. Also, the cropped image reduces the possibility of a Jamie crowd scene.

I always thought that, given the amount of time the various characters get on film, Ladyhawke could more accurately be called Blokeywolf. I digress.

Page 18-19-20

As said earlier, the triple-goddess to nine panel grid is one of those natural ways to give a stress to each of the elements. You’ll notice the clicks are left then right then centre. I’d originally written it as left to right, before – after Chrissy’s Editorial urging – rewrote to end with the Macha section to go last. Gentle Annie may have been the kinder part of Morrigan, but Macha was the part he mostly dated.

Then, in a moment of weirdness, Jamie actually drew it in the original order, despite never having seen that script. Morrigan has powers, as does the logical necessity of a left to right panelling order. As a nine panel grid, just moving panels around to fix it is easy. Hail grids!

Like most of the big acts of magic, it’s all about emotional sense than anything else. Hence, it is inevitable as Nergal actually does this, the bleak temple he’s constructed starts to crumble. And, in perhaps the most ludicrous bit of me in the comic, The Temple Of Love Is Falling Down. Too much is the bare minimum.

Jamie’s triple-portrait of the Morrigan is pretty startling. I have no idea if Jamie will miss drawing Badb’s hair, but I’ll miss seeing it.

Re-reading this now I’m struck by how low-key it is. That was always part of WicDiv’s magic – the finger click, and then things happening. The Morrigan transformation was usually drawn to be instantaneous – one panel Macha, the next Badb and so on. This kind of keeps to that.

And then… the reveal. That the new bodies isn’t a splash page says everything about this issue, but it still gets the punching the air moment. We had to have one of those eventually. Lucifer in a black suit is one of the things I’ve been waiting as long to see as Nergal in his. I giggled with glee at seeing this. Jamie’s worked in elements of the Morrigan into each of the gods – Lucifer’s red hair is the most obvious one, but Gentle Annie in Inanna and Macha in Mimir also have their notes. Inanna’s netting top is the main one – and note the shapes on Mimir’s armour changing to mimic Macha’s.

Yes, writing Lucifer remains fun and easy. I recommend it to everyone.

Page 21-22

In terms of seeing chat, people responding to the small details in the issue is one of the bigger joys. That Jamie got the Inanna/Nergal hug in the background of this exchange between Laura/Lucifer/Cass is absolutely wonderful. Laura and Cass have come a long way.

This is arguably a small cliffhanger – the smallest of this arc, at least. However, it sits on the weight of the rest of the run. We’re promising a solution to one of the larger mysteries in the run, and I suspect we get by on that. Note how space is used – this is a dense panel layout, but we go to a thired of a page for Laura’s “I know how to end this” (so giving it weight” and then going to three panel page for the conclusion (which adds weight to each of these beats.) Jamie takes the framing to tight on Cass for the beat as well to sell it. Note Matt with the Norn-colouring creeping in – and how it goes from the fires in the first panel to this is just a joy.

Page 23

Interstitial, and obvious reference to the Jay-Z record, but everyone is just excitedly clapping over the adding stuff to the godwheel. Sergio outdid himself here. It’s certainly an example of how you can have storytelling and even hero-shot audience-cheers beats out of things entirely unlike a traditional comics panel. After all these issue,s we get to see something added to the godwheel. Of course people cheer. That said,  as I said to a friend, “Of all the things I’ve found to torture the WicDiv readership, hope is the cruelest of all.”

EDIT: Actually, I messed up here - Jamie did the tweaks. Nice work Jamie!

And that’s it. Next up – 42, wherein questions are answered. In passing – the letters we’ve been getting are amazing. I’m going to try and cram as many as I can in the issues to come, but issue 44 will be our last one with a letters page. So that’s a timelimit if you wanna try and get in. It’s wicdiv@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading.

[itsclydebitches]

What if super serious silliness ensued and OZPIN was the one who started it?!

I’m a terrible prompt filler who jumped ahead in the list, but I was stuck in the airport today and wanted to write some of that silliness :D

Updated list of to-be filled prompts here 

On a particularly dreary, November morning Ozpin once watched a colleague of his pick up a vase and throw it across the room where it shattered, irreparable. The blue and white piece had been a gift from a friend two-hundred years dead, nothing more than an antique—by an unknown artist, no less—to everyone but him. His colleague apologized of course and Ozpin forgave him. Of course. Tempers had been high that day, their struggle great, and in the end he was pleased that this new friend had taken his grief out on a mere object, rather than on himself.

Still, such forgiveness didn’t stop him from clearing his then office of all other beloved mementos. As the years dragged and things like fire, grimm, or frayed tempers continued to destroy Ozpin’s tenuous links to his past, he’d eventually cleared them all away, stored in safe, secret places for him to visit when time allowed. His office became barren and if people thought that was a reflection of a cold and callous nature? Very well. Ozpin rarely had the luxury of proving them wrong. 

Today, his office held precisely four pieces of furniture: his desk, his chair, an additional chair brought out only for students… and an old-fashioned calendar hanging on the wall.

People commented on it frequently. After all, if you were going for a minimalist approach, why break it with a calendar of all things? Especially in the age where everyone kept schedules on their scrolls? The fact that it wasn’t even a particularly nice calendar seemed to throw people the most. Not that there was anything wrong with those sold in the Beacon gift shop, sporting landscape photos of the architecture and surrounding grounds, the occasional, generic headshot of a four student team. It just didn’t quite fit with the rest of Ozpin’s aesthetic.

He always smiled at those who questioned the choice, shrugged, and asked, “Why not?”

‘Why not?’ was a perfectly wonderful phrase. It left little room for further interrogation. In truth, Ozpin had grown fond of that calendar, if only because it added a spot of light to what had otherwise become a dreary room. That calendar, he thought fondly, also had the dubious pleasure of being the bane of Glynda’s existence.

“Sweet fucking dust.”

Ozpin bit hard into his lower lip, kindly not responding to her unusual choice of words. Every morning Glynda arrived with plans, notes, and any disasters that had sprung up during the night, everything a Headmaster might need to begin his day. Every morning she also took a black pen from her pocket and carefully marked another X on the calendar, right before leaving. This ensured that Glynda was always the first to see when Beacon traditions swung back around, those events helpfully written in green at the beginning of the year by her suspiciously eager boss.

Today there was just one notation, a massive exclamation point taking up the whole height of the box. Across the room, Ozpin watched Glynda’s face twitch in horror.

“Problem?” he asked. The look she shot him made it that much harder to swallow his laugh.

She didn’t respond. Glynda merely marched back to the elevator, wooden, her pallor suggesting she was a woman walking to her death. Ozpin might not have the comfort of his decorations anymore, but this calendar provided an equal—if vastly different—kind of camaraderie.

“We’ll be fine!” he called, lifting his mug in a toast just as the doors closed. Only then did Ozpin allow himself to laugh at his poor headmistresses’ plight.

Beacon’s prank week had just begun.  

***

“The alarms,” Bart said decisively, staring out the lounge window where Glynda was berating a group of students. Their shit-eating grins were visible even from this distance—as were the hundreds of utensils they’d stuck into the yard, spelling out a term not to be repeated in polite company. Bart made sure to get numerous pics of it on his scroll. “A hundred dust-infused alarm clocks hidden across the school, each set to go off at a different time during the course of the week? Simple, and yet utterly maddening. It took me forever to find that last one hidden under the floorboards of my classroom. I sometimes still think I can hear that incessant beeping…”

Peter shook his head, elbowing Bart out of the way so he could get a better look. “I’m afraid you’re wrong, old friend. The greatest prank goes to whoever set those boarbatusks loose!”

Peach set her novel aside, eyebrows raising. “Someone released grimm. Into Beacon. As a prank?”

“Ah yes. That was before you joined us.” Peter flapped a hand in her general direction. “Just young ones, my dear, just young ones. Besides, anyone here can dispatch a boarbatusk in moments! As my first year grimm studies class always demonstrates with aplomb. No, no, Pamela. The joke was in what was painted on their backs.”

Bart zipped there and back for more coffee. “We dispatched a one, a two, and a four,” he said, fingers flipping upwards with each number.

“And the three?”

“No three,” Peter chuckled. “Though we didn’t know that at the time. Looking for the supposedly illusive beast drove poor Glynda to… well.”

The three of them watched her herd the students off to class. All of them shook their heads as they went, hands raised in the universal gesture of innocence. It was a time honored tradition that any and all pranks performed during this week were to remain anonymous—and the students did a remarkable job of putting aside their pride in the name of turning their headmistress’s hair a premature gray. To this day no one knew exactly who orchestrated the alarm fiasco, let alone who managed to capture, wrangle, and set loose three boarbatusks at dawn without ever being caught out of bed. Pull aside any Beacon graduate and they’d just shake their head. Not me, good sir. I would never participate in such juvenile behavior.

Yeah. Right.

Together they watched as Glynda cut her arm sharply through the air, hundreds of forks, knives, spoons (and the occasional spork) flying in a vaguely threatening arc back towards the kitchen. With the grounds clear of creative profanity, their gaze bore down on Glynda as she briefly hung her head in her hands.  

“Poor woman,” Bart said.

“We should really do something to help her,” Peter agreed.

Peach nodded. “We are instructors after all.”

None of them moved. After a moment Bart pulled his scroll back up and started flipping through the photos. “You two want copies?”

“Don’t ask stupid questions, man.”

***

“It wasn’t me,” Sage squeaked, backing up and finding that there was nowhere left to go. In her peripheral vision she spotted her team scrambling around the corner, effectively abandoning her, and she made a mental note to murder them all later. Slowly.

Glynda’s hand tightened around her riding crop. The squeak of leather was overly loud in the otherwise silent hall. “Mr. Sekoni says otherwise.”

Sage’s mouth dropped. “Florian is a liar! Er—I mean—I got the same note, ma’am. See?” Careful that she didn’t get blasted back into the wall, Sage removed the slip of paper from her bag. The message was printed on some sort of thick, fancy card-stock and smelled vaguely of old books. Sage’s note said the same thing that Florian’s had, and theirs presumably matched the rest of the school. As far as Sage could tell, whoever had pulled this prank together made sure to include a note for themselves, making it pretty much impossible to tell who’d started it. Six hours in and no one had broken their innocent act.

Whoever they were, Sage was pretty sure she loved them.

“It was slipped under our door this morning,” she whispered. “I swear.”

“And you just decided to follow these instructions, did you?”

“…Yeah. Sorry, ma’am.”

With a growl Glynda snatched the note and stalked away, no doubt off to interrogate the next unfortunate student. Sage watched her go, wobbling slightly in her black heels. She still wasn’t used to walking around in these things. The purple cape made out of her neighbor’s blanket though? Kinda made Sage feel badass.

As their headmistress stalked away four more students dressed as Glynda Goodwitch scurried to press themselves against the wall. She cast disgusted looks at their outfits and Sage, dust help her, giggled.

It was a little funny. Professor Goodwitch would realize that eventually.

Maybe.

Sage cocked her head, fixing her white blouse. What had she been doing?

Oh yeah. Murder.

***

Ozpin considered the problem before him. “It’s the sleeves,” he said, shaking his head like these students had personally offended him. Snickers turned into full-blown laughter as Ozpin retrieved four rubber-bands from his desk drawer, slipping each onto the brothers’ wrists. It helped create a puff in their sleeves and Ozpin nodded, satisfied with the result. “There, much better. Just don’t let them cut off your circulation.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you will cease doing one another’s homework.”

The twins exchanged glances. “…Yes, sir.”

“Very good.” Ozpin’s smile was back. “Now take your excellent outfits and get to class. You have history this morning, yes? Better hurry. You know how Doctor Oobleck is about lateness…”

That was more than enough to set the boys in motion. They snuck into the elevator just as Glynda walked out of it—pulling at their skirts and fluffing up their newly detailed sleeves. They gave her a salute, using a ruler and wooden spoon in lieu of riding crops.

Kids now safely out of her reach, Glynda turned her wrath on Ozpin instead. “Don’t you dare encourage them in this.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry in the least. “They did such a good job on those costumes though. Surely you’re flattered…?”

“Flattered!” Glynda went to the calendar and viciously marked off the previous day. “In twenty-four hours I have cleaned up the front grounds—twice—been bombarded with calls from people wishing to buy Beacon because someone listed us on some advertising site for, and I quote, ‘The special one time price of five lien!’—” Behind her Ozpin choked. “I have dealt with a school-wide sleepover in the dining hall at 3:00am, the fifty pizzas that someone ordered to arrive during my class, and have had the supposed pleasure of watching everyone on campus attempt to mimic my wardrobe. Even Bart is dressing up now. And it’s only been one day!”

Ozpin knew from long experience that it was best to just let Glynda rant herself out. He made appropriate, sympathetic noises whenever she paused for breath and hid his humor behind many long sips of coffee. By the time she’d shared all pertinent info—including a comprehensive list of everyone who’d attended the sleepover, something Ozpin planned to “lose” very quickly—Glynda was marginally less red in the face and Ozpin had given his word that he wouldn’t suddenly show up in heels and a purple lined cape.

…though he’d had his fingers crossed behind his back when he said as much. Ozpin liked to keep his options open.

Because yes, it was a time honored, Beacon tradition that during prank week no one gave up who’d crafted, planned, and executed any of the madness. It was a gesture of solidarity… and easy enough to do. Given that only a handful of pranks over the years had actually originated from the student body. The rest…

Ozpin chuckled. Glynda gone, he seated himself before his laptop and pulled up his plans for today. Setting up those utensils and delivering instructions to every student’s room had been easy enough, especially with his speed. Fifty pizzas? Hardly put a dent in his fortune and his students always needed to eat. The sleepover had just been a rumor taking on a life of its own—beautifully—and Ozpin had listed Beacon for sale on a total whim during lunch. Really, Glynda should have been suspicious given that whoever uploaded the listing had access to her private scroll number.

He’d never meant to pick on Glynda specifically… but now that he’d started, it seemed rather a shame to stop.

“What now, what now,” Ozpin murmured, toying with his options. It wouldn’t do to be too hasty.

His eyes strayed to his calendar and yes, Ozpin smiled. After all, there were still six days left in the week.

[kathillards]

rangerstop day one

ALSO KNOWN AS: BITCH EVERY POWER RANGER REMEMBERED US FROM MORPHICON (except selwyn. but hes still valid.)

so we avoided the megaforce rangers all day bc we wanted to surprise them at our photo op so for most of the con we wandered around looking at art and toys and bought so much shit oh my god there are so many talented artists here one lady was selling POTTED CLAY DOLLS and i almost bought a kat doll but. restraint. because i spent $80 at ceevee’s table and i still want more from him (he also remembered me from morphicon I LOVE POWER RANGERS YOU GUYS. I LOVE POWER RANGERS SO MUCH. I DONT HAVE ANY MORE ROOM ON MY WALL FOR THESE PRINTS BUT IM GONNA FUCKING MAKE ROOM.)

FIRST UP mike ginn because i got ceevee’s huge rpm gold and silver prints to get signed by them and the minute i got up to his table he was like “oh hi didn’t i see you at morphicon” and i was like YES and he was like “and weren’t there a bunch of you” and i was like YEAH LOOK ITS MY FRIENDS and he was like “and one of them was like super shy” because at pmc abbey had told him that our friend tabby loved him but was shy so he called her “shy tabby” and we all pointed at tabby who was trying to hide from him and we were all laughing and he just pointed at her for a minute to tease her and then he walked around his table and got behind her and pretended he was gonna jump at her it was so FUNNY AND CUTE HE LOVES HER HES THE CUTEST and he wanted us all to be in the pic i bought and i mean who am i to say no to mike ginn, the greatest gold ranger of all time

SECOND well li ming was busy (bc she’s a LEGENDARY RANGER BITCH WE STAN THE QUEEN OF RPM) so we turned around and jessica rey was there and SHE WAS LIKE “DIDNT I MEET YOU GUYS AT MORPHICON” because we talked to her for like literally 20 minutes at pmc just shittalking jdf and we were like HELL YEAH ugh she’s the cutest and we again talked to her for like 20 minutes (no shittalking this time) about what we loved about wild force and she was telling us about the alyssa’s father episode bc duh thats our fave and how the actor who played her father was like a famous actor but she knew him bc he was the real dad of one of the PAs and she didnt know he was famous and it was so cute shes so cute and tabby bought a white tiger hat from her (and a bunch of other things BUT THE HATS WERE HAND-CROCHETED THEYRE SO CUTE) and she was telling us just like. shit that happened in her day. and we LOVE her shes so great. AND THEN while we were talking to jessica, ann marie crouch came back bc they’re sharing a booth!! and she was dressed in her princess shayla outfit!! so kat and ben started talking to her god shes so nice and beautiful and she was selling little christmas ornaments of her flowers from her headband they’re so pretty and i told her “wild force rangers are ON POINT with the merch bc everyone else just has headshots” and she was like omg did you hear that w/ her handler and they high-fived (bc her handler made the ornaments) AND THEYRE SO CUTE. JESSICA TOLD US TO COME BACK SO WE WILL bc we have more things to get signed by them. she was also wearing a white tiger wild force hoodie she looked so cute.

THIRD then li ming was free and ofc i had to get her to sign my rpm silver print and shes SO NICE AND PRETTY AND she asked us what the japanese on the print said and we were like “it says you’re the best rpm ranger” and that gem’s said “my sister is cooler than me” and she laughed and we told her how much we loved her in the anniversary and how she was the strongest and most powerful rpm ranger and how she was the REAL LEADER gosh i love her and then we took my photo and SHE LET ME HOLD HER RPM TOY GUN THING i love herrr

FOURTH oh god okay so abbey couldnt be here but we wanted to get her shit so we went to sean cw johnson’s table bc duh and sapphire steph (of sapphire management, she handles like. a lot of rangers. SHES SO COOL) was handling him and we were talking to her and kat facetimed abbey to show her all of sean’s merch and he had these little coins that we got for abbey and asked if he could sign them and we were just talking to steph i dont even know about what i love her and abbey was on the phone and we were like telling them that she loves lightspeed thats why we’re facetiming and SEAN ASKED TO FACETIME HER AND SAY HI bc she was right there and also i showed him  and steph abbey’s little carter art of “get in losers we’re going demon hunting” and they both LOVED IT and then he was like “wait ive seen this art before” and i was like “yeah bc you fucking replied to my tweet about how dino charge is better than lightspeed” and he was like “oh yes i do remember that you said it was worse than watching paint dry and you wanted to gouge your eyes out with a spoon” and i was like I DIDNT SAY THAT I WASNT THAT MEAN (i was pretty mean, im so sorry sean i love you) im not gonna link the tweet bc I CANT BELIEVE HE FUCKING REPLIED TO IT AND REMEMBERED bc he was like “i’m not even on social media” and i was like “well you popped up in my notifs soooo” and he was like “no i respect your opinion even if you’re wrong” lmao and he asked what i didnt like about it and obviously i couldnt say “too many white people” to his face so i said i watched 20 episodes it was boring and we HATED captain mitchell bc we hate shitty mentors and we only love rangers and he was like “okay that’s fair” and i was like “and i didnt like that carter had this whole hero worship thing of captain mitchell when he was a shitty dad and like... is this your king???” (i literally said that why am i like this) and he was like “oh well he was kind of my king” and steph was cracking up at the black panther reference she was like “you guys are a hoot” oh and then we got him to do a video shout out where he says abbeys fave line “freeze missiles? sounds cool” and we were like DO IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT, YOURE AN ACTOR so he pretended to get in character and it was so cute and he told me also “i respect that you’re not fake and you stand by your opinions” and i was like ya cuz lightspeed sucks (no i didnt say that) cuz he was like “some people will be like ‘time force is overrated’ and then go up to michael copon (his booth was behind us) and be like ‘oh i’m a huge fan’” and we were like oh we’d never do that and he loved us even though i was so mean to him IM SORRY SEAN I WILL BUY SOMETHING FROM YOU TOMORROW as we were leaving he said to me “tomorrow you can be fake its fine” hes literally like. so cool. and also handsome. but lightspeed is still boring im sorry.

FIFTH we were wandering around again looking at toys and shit and tabby and ben wanted dino bite cafe shirts so we went to marvels by mossers which was right next to brennan and the sudarso brothers and we started talking to the guy there (aiden, not mosser) about, you know, the stuff they were selling and whatnot he’s so cool like they’re all so cool we talked for ages?? bc tabby had to go to the atm to get money and she took forever so we were just standing around saving her spot in line and aiden asked us like how we became friends when we’re all from different states and we told him we met online bc we love power rangers and we met up at morphicon and loved it so much we came to rangerstop and he was like oh thats so cool (this will be important later ok) anyway im just saying WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN JUST TALKING TO PEOPLE LIKE JUST. JUST TALK TO THEM. EVEN IF THEY’RE NOT POWER RANGERS. like this guy wasnt even a pr fan but he was so chill anyway i love everyone in this bar.

then we went out to eat but got distracted by gazbot’s booth of his HELLA COOL PRINTS and we bought abbey a balance print and an alpha print and kat bought all the six megaforce rangers and tbh tomorrow im gonna go back and get ninja steel blue BECAUSE while this was happening peter texted me “saw you and said hi but you seemed busy haha” becAUSE i did not stop to say hi to him (because he had a line!) while we were by marvels for mossers anyway i felt bad but we were hungry so went out to the food trucks and we saw two ranger actors whom we will not name come out to smoke together which was HILARIOUS (we love them anyway its ok) and THEN

SIXTH we came back inside bc i wanted brennan to sign my dino charge red print that i got from ceevee (also a shoutout to his handler who is really cool and talked to us and just. guys. i love everyone. i love EVERYONE.) and hes sooooo pretty god and his handwriting is so cute it looks like a child bc he’s left-handed and i asked him why the other dino charge rangers werent there and he was like “well davi’s filming and michael and camille dont really do cons” lmao and i told him i went to school w/ michael and camille and he was like “oh cool my sister-in-law went to that school” when i told him what university it was anyway hes just so pretty. im blanking on most of our conversation. then ben talked to him bc they’re both left-handed and reminded him that he instagrammed ben’s art and they message on insta and it was very cute #bennan for life bitches he also signed ben’s dino charge hat

SEVENTH so you know yoshi and peter are right next to brennan so i was with taylor (@ crossbuild on twitter, rocking the ryuga banjou cosplay) and she wanted to meet the sudarsos so we went over to say hi and peter came over and hugged me and we talked and he was like “since i dyed my hair blonde ive gotten like three more roles” and i was like “blonde privilege” (he looked. surprisingly good with it.) and he was telling me that he and yoshi are playing monkey demigod brothers?? or something and that’s why they both dyed their hair blonde and we also talked about kamen rider (bc taylor mentioned it) and he said he wants to watch wizard and i was like YES WATCH WIZARD ITS MY FAVE and he was like “everyone says bad things about it!” and i was like FUCK THEM JUST BECAUSE ITS SLOW-PACED and he was like “no you know i love slow pace” and i was like yes its very episodic but its SO GOOD THE CHARACTERS ARE SO GOOD they just had an issue w/ the lead actress being an idol and he was like “oh well so is lupinyellow” and i was like DO YOU ACTUALLY WATCH LUPATO bc he does keep up w/ sentai but hes always behind and he was like “dont spoil me im three eps behind” and i was like “well thats pretty good for you and also nothing happens in lupato” and he was so offended on its behalf and i was like “name one thing thats happened peter” and he was like “uh gold showed up???” and i was like “that happens every season” but then i was like “dont get me wrong i love lupato its my fave show of all time” (because it absolutely fucking is) and he was like “i thought so i was so confused” lmao (bc like. im always tweeting about how much i love lupato.) anyway yeah i asked him which kamen riders he’d watched and he was like “you know this pearl” which i did i just enjoy pretending i dont know anything about him. watch wizard y’all. and meanwhile, while i was talking to peter, ben and the others were meeting yoshi and ben was getting his dino charge dvd signed and he gave yoshi his art of koda WHICH YOSHI LOVED and ben was gonna pay $30 for the autograph but yoshi was like “no take it back” and he was like “you’re not gonna sell th dvd right” and ben was like “no i’m keeping it forever” and he was like “ya then you’re not paying for it” bc he LOVED THE ART AND HE LOVES BEN AND US hes so handsome irl like fuck man. who allowed dino charge rangers to exist in the mortal realm. he also gave me and ben cheetos later (he offered them to everyone, we were the only ones who accepted. i love hot cheetos.) 

EIGHTH we went to the alphas to get the alpha print signed for abbey and first of all, david fielding’s (zordon) handler was there (david wasnt there) and we were talknig to him and he was like oh im a HUGE power rangers fan i have boxes in my basement full of old power rangers toys and we were like “oh big mood” he was cool too man everyone is so cool i just love. to talk to them. and kat was getting the alpha print signed by romy and she was SO SWEET and we told her how much abbey loved alpha and went to search her art on twitter to show her and she LOVED ALL OF IT she was so sweet her handler was so sweet too and then we went to peta’s booth AND SHE HAD ALPHA GAY PRIDE SHIRTS AND STICKERS so we’re gonna buy those for abbey tomorrow

after that we were hanging around the nearby toy booth avoiding the megaforce rangers who were RIGHT next to the alphas (all together bc they’re codependent losers and we love them) and AIDEN FROM MARVELS BY MOSSER CAME OVER WITH A DINO CHARGE IRON-ON PATCH AND JUST SHOVED IT IN BENS HAND AND SAID “i want you to have this for free because i loved talking to you guys and you deserve it and i love when people meet like you guys did” bc of our little story of how we became online friends and met up and love each other and LIKE. BEN WAS ABOUT TO CRY. I LOVE US AND EVERYONE AT THIS CON. 

NINTH so we went back across the room to the sudarsos bc ben wanted to give peter his preston and marv art so i was like “we have something for you” and shoved ben at him and he LOVED THE ART (of course bc ben’s art is amazing) and was like “i’ve seen this on twitter dont i follow you” and ben was like noo you dont and i was like “no, i just retweet ben all the time so hes on your timeline anyway” AND THEN HE PULLED OUT HIS PHONE AND FOLLOWED BEN IN FRONT OF US and then also later he took a SELFIE w/ the three pieces ben gave him and tweeted about finally getting to meet this amazing artist and @-ed ben and it currently has like 100 likes so ya ben’s famous now go follow him @brodyromero 

AND THEN FOR THE MAIN EVENT THE MEGAFORCE PHOTO OP THAT WE BOUGHT AND WANTED TO SURPRISE THEM TONIGHT AND we also went to walmart earlier and got rainbow cupcakes for them and a candle that says 5 to celebrate their 5th anniversary bc we are that extra. side note, there was an ADORABLE little boy in line behind us in a pink mmpr diamonds t-shirt and he was freaking out at everyone and saw a blue ninja steel cosplayer and went OH MY GOD ITS NINJA STEEL BLUE and he was the only valid fan at the entire con and we let him cut in front of us (well we let everyone cut bc we wanted to be the last people in bc we are dramatique)

TENTH THE MEGAFORCE RANGERS so like the whole day we’ve been stressing “what if they dont remember us what if they dont care what if they dont” and then we entered and the literal second they saw us it was like. azim’s WHOLE FACE LIT UP AND HE WENT “OH MY GOD YOU GUYS CAME ITS MY GIRLS” (cuz remember we’re #azimsangels as per his hashtag) and HUGGED US ALL IMMEDIATELY oh hes such a good hugger and they saw our cupcakes and we were like “its for you for your fifth anniversary!” and they were so happy and surprised and ciara was like so jumpy and she like hugged us all SO BIG SHES SO CUUUUUTE they are all so fucking cute cameron remembered us too and came to give us hugs and kat got pity hugs from christina and john mark, the dignified ones (they were very nice, its just everyone else was clearly high and super jumpy and SO HAPPY TO SEE US) and andrew was just there looking gorgeous. sorry i cant say anything about him bc if u look into his eyes u black out and that happens to all of us. idk if he said anything. hes too pretty to exist. and we were like WE CAME TO FLORIDA TO SEE YOU GUYS because we loved meeting you at morphicon so much (which is TRUE we planned this all so last-minute bc we were like. fuck it lets go to fucking rangerstop we wanna see the megacast again.) and god they were so HAPPY. AZIM WAS SO HAPPY. CAMERON HUGGED ME SO TIIIIGHT. azim like crushed us all in a group hug the second he saw us. and then we took the photo and ciara literally just JUMPED into ben and kat and tabby’s laps bc they were sitting on the chairs and i got in the back in the middle of ALL FOUR BOYS like oh my god i cant even look at myself in the picture we got bc i’m surrounded by the literal hottest guys in the world like what the fuck. andrew gray TOUCHED ME. like holy fuck. and christina posed w/ the cupcakes and cameron held the 5 candle and was like “COME ON JOHN LETS BLOW IT OUT” and that was their pose and the rest of us were just cheesin and god its so cuuute im gonna make them all autograph it tomorrow and i also got megaforce red and silver prints from ceevee to get andrew and cameron to sign. and then after the pic christina tried to give us back the cupcakes and we were like NO THEY’RE FOR YOU THEY’RE YOUR BIRTHDAY GIFT and cameron literally started jumping up and down like a little kid he was like “WE GET CUPCAKES” and i was standing next to him so i said “we got rainbow ones so everyone was kind of represented except you sorry” and he looked at me and was like “yeah because nobody cares about silver” and i was like nooo its bc its hard to put silver on frosting and he was like yeah thats true AND THEN as we were leaving and they were like thank you for the cupcakes!! he was like “are there drugs in them” and kat was like “no” and tabby was like “yes” and i said “next time, for your 10 year anniversary” and andrew was like “ten years!” all chill like. i love him. king of red rangers. cameron said “love youuuu” to us as we left. i would quite literally die for all of them.

afterwards we were waiting around to get our reprints and azim came out and stopped to talk to us and we were like “where the fuck is your girlfriend we only came to see her” and he told us she’s flying to london :( and then he was like “are you guys coming tomorrow come hang out at our booths” (we were like “we have shit for you to sign we’re not just gonna loiter” and he was like “no just come hang out”) and he said “i wanna tell you guys the most heartwarming story that’s happened at rangerstop, a four year saga” so he like. REALLY wants us to come back tomorrow like what a cliffhanger that was!!

we also saw catherine and li ming bc the 25th anniversary photo op was right after us they’re so pretty!! im gonna visit catherine tomorrow and get my PINK RANGER W/ DRAGON SHIELD PRINT SIGNED BY HER ugh ceevee’s art is literally so amazing bitch. fuck. and then steve was also there and tabby was like “we love you steve!” (she said that for every actor that passed us but nobody heard her EXCEPT STEVE) and he stopped and turned back and was like HEY GUYS, love him. AND THEN SELWYN ALSO SHOWED UP FOR THE PHOTO OP and then on our way out of the photo op hallway he was ahead of us getting water in the hotel lobby so we stopped and said hi and introduced ourselves and i was like “we met you at morphicon” and he was like hmm (he was the only one who didnt rmr us at all clearly BUT HES STILL SO VALID. I LOVE YOU SELWYN.) and he was like “why don’t you guys get a picture with me” and we were like “well we’ll be here tomorrow to see you” and he was like “no we gotta do it right now” so he and tabby took a selfie LITERALLY THE CUTEST. HES SO HANDSOME. I LOVE POWER RANGERS.

also psycho red is hot

[bbbrats]

Together {M}

↳ summary: Jungkook has a long fucking day, getting stopped on the way home by a bunch of “tough” guys and had to handle it. All he really wants is to come home and climb up under you, resting until the next day, but instead he comes home to a little..problem.

↳ warnings: gore, blood, murder, graphic descriptions of death, rape mentions, abuse (not with Jungkook x Reader), implied mentions of smut with dead bodies in the room, unsafe handling of weapons, angst, a tinge of fluff at the end?, featuring EXO!, assassin!au, body horror, THIS IS SENSITIVE CONTENT!

↳ for @ekslfls and @pjmocchi ; Hope your vacation is well, and I hope the writing process goes smoother huns! 😙❤️

↳ UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

↳ words: 2k-ish (I’ll slowly but surely edit in smut)

A soft sigh blew from his lips, flicking off the dried blood on his suit jacket, shoving his keys into his front door.

He couldn’t wait to get inside and tell you about his day, wanting nothing more than to just drop into your arms and tell you about the fuckers that thought they’d pull a fast one on him, and how he had to beat the living hell out of all five of them, escaping with a busted lip and some bruised ribs.

You and Jungkook worked at the same company, same field.

Both were assassins, ghosts if you will.

The two of you were the undercover killers of the group, carrying out the most dangerous missions without a flicker of your identity to be known.

You two worked with different weapons all though, and that’s what turned Jungkook on to you; You were different from the other women.

Mostly everyone uses some form of long range weapons such as guns; snipers, pistols, machine guns, shotguns, etc.

But you, you liked to use knives, get up close and personal. Honestly, to Jungkook, it was attractive.

Together for six years and married for two, you both met when you were sixteen, new and fresh, and growing up alongside one another brought a new meaning of trust to you two, specifically between each other.

A soft smile adorned his face at the fond memory, closing his front door and dropping his stuff.

“Y/n”, he called softly, “Babygirl, I’m home”.

And when he didn’t get a reply of your voice, just a grunt of struggle, Jungkook knew something was wrong.

He pulled his silenced black matte pistol from his holster, aiming it in front of him and turning off the safety, stepping towards the bedroom quietly.

Another muffled grunt came from your mouth, and Jungkook peaked through the crack in the door, and his heart stopped in his chest.

EXO.

These fuckers had you tied to a hook hanging from the ceiling, feet dangling from the floor and wrists bound above your head.

A soft whimper left his lips at your condition; a busted lip, bruised purple jawbone, bloody nose.

His eyes traveled down to your body, shirt torn off and hanging loosely at your waist, cuts adorning your breasts, waist, and tummy, even worse whip lashes on your back, and a very shallow, bleeding cut on the side of your hips, dripping way too much blood for comfort for someone normal.

“Fuck” he muttered, looking down at your very sprained ankle.

You tried to run.

“Just tell us where the fuck Jeongguk is”, one of them shouted, slapping you so hard across the face that your head flew to the side, hair drooping into your abused features.

A weak chuckle sounded from your lips, looking up and locking eyes with Jungkook before muttering, “Go fuck yourself”, and spitting at the closest ones face.

They all of about lost it, one of them putting a gun to your head and cocking it, and Jungkook almost shat himself, pushing the door open quickly.

“I’m right here”, he yelled at them, veins popping out of his neck, and he could see the fear in your eyes.

Not for yourself, but for him, and his heart shuttered at your selflessness.

“You all are very brave, putting your hands on my wife like this, I assume you know what I do to anyone who dares lay a hand on her”, he asks, head tilting and a dark eyebrow cocking in amusement.

They all look at each other before laughing out loud, “Man, you’re really in no condition to threaten anyone, I’ll blow this pretty little thing’s brains all over you’re bedroom walls. She’s a doll, maybe I’ll kill her after I pump her full of my children”, and Jungkook visibly see you shudder in disgust.

A smirk traces Jungkook’s features, and he can visibly see their discomfort and anxiousness.

He has them right where he wants them.

“I first cut their hands off, in one hard chop. Then I cut their tongues out, you know, so they can’t scream. Sometimes, depending on my mood, I’ll pull off their fingernails slowly before I chop the wrists. And then I suppose I’d pull their teeth out, one by one, and stuff them in a cloth and make them swallow it. And then, you’ll love this, I snap their fucking necks while their friends watch, pulling their spine from them and using it as a belt when I wear my causal clothes”, he smiled gently, eyes screaming insane and he steps forward, “And if I’m feeling particularly annoyed, I may gut you like the pigs you are, or you can get on your knees and fucking apologize to the both of us, because I assure you, I am the wrong one to fuck with, and so is she. Did you know she likes to slit her victims throats slowly? And that she also has a huge blood kink. Loves the feel of it in her hands, and how pretty it paints walls and floors. I like the feel of people’s life slipping from them by my hands”, he breathes, sending a smirk to you, and you give him a bloody one right back.

They visibly shake, focus on Jungkook and his threatening words.

While they do, you snap your wrists out of socket with a exhale and slip down to the floor slowly, your ankle taking the brute of your weight and you stifle a whimper in your throat.

Rising slowly, you pull your Bowie knife from the desk behind you, creeping behind a member and shoving your knife into his jugular, tearing it effortlessly.

And by the time the other four turn around, Jungkook has already shot two in the head, and you leap towards one, body screaming in agony, and you use the pain as leverage, shoving the knife into his chest in tandem with Jungkook firing a headshot into the one behind you.

Rolling on top of the male, you shove the knife deeper, piercing his aorta and he wheezes.

Jungkook pulls you off the body, hand wrapping around your waist, and pressing into the bruises on your hips, causing a whimper to fall from your swollen lips and he kissed it away gently, rolling his tongue into your mouth.

A whine leaves your lips when he presses you back into the mattress, hips pinning your to the bed and rocking against you in merciless tandem.

Whimpers tear from your aching throat, voice raspy and hoarse from all the previous screaming, although Jungkook makes a mental promise to make you scream even more.

You couldn’t be more excited.