#also I just freaking love how authors try SO HARD to pit them against each other

[alarrylarrie]

I think that article is actually incredibly interesting- if you only read Louis’ quotes. I’d throw the bit about Simon out in the trash, but that’s clearly a non-disparage clause ad infinitum talking, not Louis himself.

He couches what he says about Harry- in my opinion, tries to defend him while treading VERY lightly, because he has to, of course. He says, about his Grammy’s speech: “we all came from humble beginnings” basically explaining what Harry meant. Then, in talking about Harry’s fame- he says “we all knew Harry fit that mold” which doesn’t cast any dispersions on Harry, it’s actually a lot closer to ‘Harry was born to do this and was set up from practically day one to do this’ - and that’s not untrue, is it?

It’s the author who puts all the malice into that article. Louis’ quotes, themselves, seem like everything I’d expect him to be able to, (and willing) to say.

[miraculouscontent]

(non-Miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Ok this may just be me but I hate deconstructions. I feel like they are always mean spirited and try to be dark and edgy and thinks that every single person is an asshole because that’s “realistic” when no it’s not. This maybe because I like superhero stories and love it when the heroes overcome their struggles.

I can agree for the most part. Whenever I hear “okay but what if it was dArK--” I’m just okay, gonna stop you right there.

Anonymous said:

I swear, nothing bothers me more than people who want Miraculous Ladybug to literally just be Yandere Simulator(with Marinette as Ayano, Alya as Info-chan, Adrien as Taro, Chloe as Osana, Lila as Kizana, Kagami as Megami, and Luka as Budo). It just grinds my gears, especially because they're, once again, framing Marinette as a stalker, which just makes her look bad, AND pits all the girls against each other for Mr. Generic Harem Protagonist, once a-fucking-gain. Just go play the actual game, ok?

All I'm hearing is that now I have to ship Ayano and Budo and write a fic where the ghost girl uses fancy fantasy magic to merge her soul with Ayano and lets her actually have emotions, healing her from being a yandere while the ghost girl (in a way) gets to live a life she was cut short of, also allowing Ayano to be happy and go onto be friends with all the rivals.

Extremely convoluted but that’s the only way we get happy endings in this house.

Anonymous said:

I remember how, when writing Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi refused to bow to older male writers wanted, say, for the girls to be stereotypical manga characters, with one being overweight, one being a stereotypical nerd, etc. But Naoko wanted each of the girls to be beautiful and feminine. While I don't like that they all share a body type, I admire how she didn't listen to grown men when writing for and about young girls. And I can't help but think about how Madoka is the antithesis of all that.

I can appreciate writers who put their foot down to stick to their values. There are limits of course, but yeah, a women writing women probably shouldn’t be listening to a man’s input. I’m sure good advice exists buuut...

Anonymous said:

What is your ranking of the seasons of the year from most to least favorite and why?

Summer - I work best in the warmth

Spring - Always brings images of flowers blooming to mind

Autumn - Things are getting cold and I don’t like it

Winter - It can go choke for all I care

Anonymous asked:

Someone on TV Tropes actually said that the name Feminist Fantasy should be changed because "feminism excludes men the same way meninism excludes women" and actually had the nerve to link that to the "Not So Different" trope, as if women haven't been excluded throughout the history of almost every human society. Fortunately, someone responded to them in a way that technically amounted to "do your damn research" but I'm still facepalming so hard at TV Tropes' "what about the men" rhetoric.

I feel like I lost braincells reading this.

Anonymous asked:

I feel like in fiction written by men there are only three flaws that female protagonists are allowed to have: clumsy, boy-crazy, or ashamed of their flat chests. I hate it.

Don’t forget, “having to listen to the men for how they’re supposed to feel.”

Anonymous asked:

Jatp. Nominated. For. Seven. Emmys. SEVEN!!!! Miraculous could NEVER. Literally.

omg!! Congrats to Julie and the Phantoms!

Anonymous asked:

WHAT ARE YOUR FLASHBACKS TO EVER AFTER HIGH?? I GOTTA KNOW? OMG?

Oh, I’ve seen basically the whole series, though the one I remember most is definitely Epic Winter. It was my favorite one though Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney movie so I’m biased.

I also like a lot of the “twists” and just--crazy concepts they rolled with, like with Red Riding Hood’s story and how Apple White gets woken up from her slumber.

Anonymous asked:

You're gonna be happy to hear this...I just started watching Cardcaptor Sakura today, and holy shit not only do I love it, but I also love how freaking META it is! I know you said you're not all that knowledgeable about Magical Girl, but this show is AWARE that it's a Magical Girl show! From Tomoyo(the main reason this show is so meta, tbh) realizing Sakura is a Magical Girl and asking if she has a transformation pose, to designing outfits for her(more on that later) to videotaping her(aka literally making a Magical Girl anime out of her Magical Girl friend), it just has fun with itself and plays with Magical Girl tropes without making a mockery of them like all those "dark" male-aimed ones do(lookin' at you, Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna!).

And not only is it hilarious and adorable(especially with Sakura's crush on Yukito, Tomoyo's crush on Sakura, and Touya picking on Sakura, but playfully), but I love how it's riddled with girl power. While watching some of the first episodes I was looking forward to seeing Syaoran(partly because I love male Tsunderes and partly because I can't pronounce his name), and was surprised that he wasn't in the first few episodes, but more importantly I was so happy to see a show that treats its female characters with respect and shows women unironically receiving support from other women and being shown possessing power and authority.

I love Sakura and Tomoyo's friendship even if I hate the trope of "Lesbian Never Gets The Girl"(not that I think she's entitled to Sakura's affections or anything, but still.) and watching her support Sakura in her magic endeavors without being jealous or vindictive, I love that they're allowed to be independent and smart but that the show doesn't forget that they're kids, instead of making them like Manon and Chris, and I love that the show passes the Bechdel test in pretty much the first or second episode, and that pretty much every important and unimportant character we meet that's not Sakura's family members, Kero, or Yukito(plus maaaayyybe the Shadow Clow Card) are female.

Even little things, like all FOUR of Tomoyo's bodyguards in the second episode being female without there being a "reason" or the show making a big deal of it(either in a "yay girl power!" way or a "what but women can't x" way or an objectifying way) fills me with insurmountable joy. Also, I love that the show follows the Magical Girl trend of pretty much admitting that femininity is power, since frilly dresses are stated to be the most "fitting" thing for a Cardcaptor to wear, as without it, they might not be mentally up to the task, and this is an unironic truth rather than a joke(although Sakura is shown to be embarrassed, but it's much more likely that she's simply not used to that kind of gear due to not being rich as Tomoyo is.) or a gag.

I just thought I should tell you this because I know you like Cardcaptor Sakura, and with the crappy episodes that just came out of this show, I think you deserve to read an ask that's about a GENUINE girl power Magical Girl show, instead of yet more Miraculous Ladybug salt or Madoka Magica hate(not that there's anything wrong with either of those two, but it just gets grating after a while.). Overall, I'm looking forward to watching this show, since I've been looking for a Magical Girl show to watch nowadays(I've been meaning to watch Star Twinkle Precure but I can't find the third episode and all of Cardcaptor Sakura is on YouTube now, so.). So excited!

Hey, I’m glad that you’re having fun with it!

Though, just a warning, you might wanna steer clear of the Clear Card arc. It’s a sequel to the original series made waaaay after the original (think the equivalent of Yashahime for Inuyasha, though continuing with the original characters) but omg I hated it.

Anonymous asked:

With the crappy Season 4 episodes that just came out I'm glad I got into Cardcaptor Sakura when I did. Who needs "Marinette needs to make a mistake every episode and learn something from it" when you can have genuine girl power and sweetness incarnate?

Alya could never compete with Tomoyo, I’m just sayin’.

Anonymous asked:

Your comment about white men feeling "disenfranchised" because more shows are about black people and/or women(I say and/or because the two aren't mutually exclusive.), as if there aren't a million other things they could be watching instead is so true! It reminds me of how I was talking to someone recently about the new generation of MLP, in which I stated that we didn't need a male mane pony(spoiler alert: they have one, sadly.), and he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly".

Okay, so far, so good, but this I could chalk up to just unconscious internalized misogyny, especially since he didn't say it in any sort of "way". So I respectfully told him that the scale regarding representation is already not equal and that boys can look up to girls and that a show being girly is not a bad thing and all that stuff that you already know about. Then he responded claiming some stuff about how he keeps trying to pitch stories about straight white male characters and how nobody is accepting his offers and so this means that straight white men are underrepresented compared to everyone else. He even explicitly said, and I quote "White people are actually critically underrepresented in media right now. Especially boys."; I swear to the Goddess above.

At this point I was officially upset as a black girl, to hear this white(and presumably adult) man telling me that he was underrepresented in media compared to me, even saying that the media execs are practicing "quotas and tokenization"(and yes, he repeatedly used those terms for any instance of representation, even when I asked him politely to stop.) by replacing women with men or white people with pocs and are making white men look like incompetent doofuses.

He also kept saying stuff about how shows are always shoehorning people of color in where they don't belong by casting them in settings such as Shakespeare and medieval times when "realistically" there were no people of color during those time periods(which is obviously not true, it's just not what the history books show us.), and made a really insensitive comment about how black children in the USA today don't know the significance of having the first black president because the media supposedly already shows them black people in various professions(despite also claiming he couldn't speak to the "black experience" and yet here he is whitesplaining that shit.).

It got to the point where he was seriously and unironically using the word "blackwashing". When I pointed out to him that white men aren't underrepresented and that it's just his self-centered ego telling him that they are, that the word "blackwashing" isn't a thing, and that mis/underrepresentation in media DOES affect black kids negatively(even citing myself as an example) he went on to claim that I was being tone-deaf and that "blackwashing" is just as bad as whitewashing, and that making Ariel black is just as bad as making Jasmine white.

At this point I had to bang my head on the table and explain to him the difference; his ass still wouldn't get it. Eventually he started saying some really skeevy and hypocritical shite that white men say all the time when whining about how "oppressed and underrepresented" they are: that black people and/or women

(it looks like there might be an ask missing here, in which case, sorry if Tubmlr ate it!)

avor of supporting the commonly believed LIE that "women and/or minority groups don't have as much history worth learning about, so there's no point in focusing on them." He also kept using patronizing, condescending, mansplaining language such as "let me explain it to you" or "you still don't get it do you?", and when he said women had nothing to contribute to society because "oppression" he even had the nerve to tack on "welcome to the unequal society" as if I hadn't been lecturing him about just that.

Because obviously only white men did anything worthwhile or important in history. At this point, I had to block him. I couldn't take it anymore and this was on an MLP site of all places(although I'm probably just as guilty of that part, but at least I wasn't an ass!). I just can't stand white men who "want to be oppressed so bad" but still want to claim that their achievements are more important and deserve to be more prominent. Honestly, so many white men are so fragile the second they're not in the spotlight. I can't help but think that despite all the privilege afforded to their class being a white man sounds like the worst thing ever.

“he claimed that it would be beneficial since many shows aimed at boys at least try to include at least one main girl, and that it would be good for G5 of MLP to have at least one strong male lead so that boys could have a role model and know that the show isn't "girly". “

I might be looking too deep into that but I don’t like the idea of, “Well WE squeezed in a girl and therefore YOUR SHOWS--” like it’s some sort of matter of “fairness” or that boys’ shows aren’t putting in girls out of a genuine like for them but because they “need” one or it’s some sort of obligation.

Also, we need to stop this idea that boys can’t look up to female characters and vice versa for girls. You already said it but yeah.

And yeah, I hear "quotas and tokenization" and I officially tune out of whatever the person is saying, lol. White men are critically underrepresented???? Newsflash, maybe it’s just because others are being represented more??

Just the whole thing about whites being “underrepresented” boggles my mind. White people don’t have some sort of special ability or skill that other races can’t do themselves unless you count the “superpower” of white privilege.

Like, oh my god, all that “whitesplaining” and having to read the word “blackwashing” was physically painful. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I don’t know how they got hold of the technology to communicate with you from whatever time period their from, presumably the Stone Age.

Don’t even blame you for blocking them. There’s just a level of absolute... blindness? Arrogance??? That comes with the territory with them sometimes, I swear. You had every right to be upset; other races come to ask for equality and fair representation and suddenly you have these white men (not all obviously but damn) coming by and crying that they’re being oPpReSsEd. U_U

Like, honestly, my father in particular is absolutely that kind of person so I’ve heard that kind of stuff before. it’s all gross.

On a slightly unrelated note (trying to end this with some positivity), I hadn’t even heard about a fifth generation of MLP until I read this, and just wanted to let you know that I really hope you have a really good time with it! Hopefully the male character isn’t... well, you know.

[angstyaches]

This is trope anon from before :) It might be interesting to see Elliot put off feeling sick, because he is so caught up taking care of everyone else? He kind of strikes me as a worry about everyone else first kind of guy lol. Then absolutely regretting it later haha

If not Elliot, Ryan also kind of gives me similar vibes

CW: mention of disordered eating/malnourishment, trauma mention, overwork, nausea, emeto, dizziness, blood mention (he’s a vamp, so yeah), pining (for absent partner), platonic/brotherly caretaking

Author’s note: Elliott and Felix are going to be just FINE! They’re not even broken up; Felix is just a little AWOL after a fight they had. I just loooove me some angst.

Elliott’s vision went pitch black for a moment as he stood and waited for the kettle to finish boiling. His stomach lurched so harshly that he almost turned towards the sink, expecting the return of the blood he’d drank for breakfast. Instead, he swallowed, closed his eyes, and breathed in slowly through his nose. He was overexerted, probably. He’d been pushing himself during his and Shayne’s ritualistic “sparring” (or, as Shayne called it, “trying to kick the shit out of each other” or “therapy”) session. Elliott had hoped his supernatural abilities would have begun to manifest by now, seeing as his transition to full vampire was complete. But still, nothing yet. Maybe the stress of Felix being gone was stunting his development. Maybe the stress was adding to how bad he felt.

The kettle clicked, reminding him of why he was standing in the kitchen in the first place. Elliott’s heart sank as he recalled Shayne’s eyes rolling back in his head, his body almost hitting the ground before Elliott could catch him. Turned out the kid had been starving himself again. Elliott would have punched his lights out if they hadn’t already basically been out.

A minute later, Elliott picked up a hot mug and crossed the open-plan kitchen and living area to where he’d left Shayne on the white sofa. He was conscious now, at least, but his eyes were glazed and unfocused.

The mug contained hot, weak tea and a few spoons of the glucose solution Ryan had concocted for Felix’s blood-and-sugar lollipops. Back in the day, when Felix refused blood and couldn’t hold food down, Ryan had fed him the solution like this, and it had kept him from passing out. The smell was so strong that Elliott almost gagged, his body so delicate as to protest merely being in the presence of human sustenance.

Elliott tried to hand Shayne the mug, but his cousin’s hands were so shaky he almost dropped it immediately. Elliott took it back, trying to ignore the fact that his own hands weren’t exactly the steadiest. He brought the rim of the mug to Shayne’s lips.

Shayne made a face and pulled away as soon as he took the first sip. His hand went to his mouth, like he was considering spitting it back out.

“Swallow it.”

A shiver seemed to roll through Shayne’s body as he did. His eyes watered like he was about to cry. “That tastes like shit, El.”

“Yeah, well, that’s what you get for forgetting that you need to eat.”

“I didn’t forget I needed to…” Shayne mumbled. “I’m not stupid.”

“That’s extremely debatable. Drink.”

“I’m gonna be sick.”

“Drink,” Elliott said again, as calmly as he could, “or I’m going to get Ryan.”

The last of the fight went out of Shayne’s eyes. Elliott knew he didn’t want Ryan or Nancy to know things had gotten this bad again.

Victorious but not feeling it, Elliott brought the mug to Shayne’s lips again and again, letting him take small sips. At one point, he covered his mouth again, shoulders jerking forward as he gagged slightly. Elliott’s stomach flipped at the sound and he had to turn his face away until Shayne stopped. He didn’t usually puke from seeing somebody else do it, but he had a bad feeling that if Shayne threw up, he would lose it too.

Shayne shook his head when presented with the mug again. A tentative hand rested on his stomach. “I can’t, El. It’s so heavy.”

Part of Elliott didn’t want to yield so easily, wanted to make him finish the mug. He wondered what Felix would do, or how Charlie would have reacted to that pleading look. Elliott knew he wasn’t soft in the same way they were. He just hoped he wasn’t harsh.

He hoped he wasn’t frightening.

He swallowed against a swell of nausea in his belly. Whatever was gnawing at the pit of his stomach weakened his resolve.

“Okay,” he said, “lie down.”

Shayne gave a small sigh of relief.

Elliott took the mug back to the sink. White floor and wall tiles swayed all around him like he was inside the world’s most colourless kaleidoscope. He slowly breathed in through his nose, leaning on the edge of the countertop to try and introduce some form of balance to his body.

He’d extended the offer to Shayne, but honestly, lying down sounded like an absolute dream to Elliott, too. Maybe his body would stop freaking out if he got a little more rest. His sleeping pattern was completely thrown off, his mind raced in the middle of the night. Felix had star-fished across about forty different mattresses before choosing theirs, and while Elliott had acted like he didn’t care which one they bought, he had ended up agreeing that it was the best mattress he’d ever used. But sleeping there without Felix felt wrong, so his body had been rejecting it as much as physically possible.

Nowadays, he might as well have been sleeping in a wooden coffin like the stereotype dictated.

He turned around to check on Shayne, frowning when he saw that he was still sitting upright on the sofa.

“I thought you were going to try and sleep?”

“I can’t – I can’t,” Shayne whispered, lowering his head into his hands. “El, I – every time I try, I feel like she’s here. Breathing on the back of my neck…”

Guilt churned Elliott’s stomach this time. Elliott felt regrets like cobwebs sticking to his soul, and although he didn’t allow himself many, one of those cobwebs was the feeling that maybe he could have gotten Shayne out of Madelyn’s sooner.

“She’s not getting in here,” Elliott promised. “Ryan will have her head on a stick before letting that happen. Nancy will turn her blood into tar.”

“She doesn’t have to be here, El. She’s already here.” Shayne pressed a finger to either side of his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Jesus, I’m – I’m sorry, man.” Elliott laid a hand on his stomach, stifling a belch since he really didn’t need gas leaving his body to make this moment even more stressful. “What usually helps when this happens?”

As Elliot should have expected, Shayne gave a lifeless shrug. Alright, think, Elliott told himself, swallowing thickly. He’d never seen Shayne warm up to anyone until that day in the park when he’d been clinging to Charlie like his life depended on it. He liked to act tough (and who did he pick that up from, I wonder?), but really, Shayne just didn’t want to be alone.

He’d be lying if he said he couldn’t understand that feeling.

Elliott swallowed again, fighting the lump in his throat and the swirling in the pit of his stomach.

“Want me to sit with you?”

Shayne opened his eyes, looking genuinely surprised.

Elliott sank down on the sofa without waiting for a verbal answer. He hit the cushions a little too quickly for his stomach’s liking. It shifted noisily, semi-digested contents swimming around inside. “Now, if you think you can feel someone breathing on you, you can tell yourself it’s just me.”

“Ugh,” Shayne groaned, curling up on his side so that the top of his head was just next to – scarcely touching – Elliott’s thigh. “Do not breathe on me, man.”

Elliott smiled through his vaguely-concealed discomfort, glad that Shayne wasn’t facing him. “Afraid you’ll catch vampire cooties?”

Shayne didn’t respond beyond a soft groan that Elliott interpreted as “shut the fuck up, old man”. So even though he’d have loved to keep taunting his cousin and keep himself distracted, Elliott shut up, letting his neck rest against the back of the sofa and draping one arm up over his eyes. Lack of vision made the world feel a little less like the spinning drum of a washing machine. Elliott regretted dreaming up that metaphor, gritting his teeth as he realised his stomach felt like such a drum, too.

He was swallowing constantly, every few seconds now, chest tight with the effort of drawing slow, shallow breaths. It felt like the fibres holding his being together were frayed and left just shaky enough to throw everything off without causing him any actual, physical pain. Beneath it all was a tiny flame of anger; what the hell was the point in becoming a vampire if feeling unexplainably shitty at inconvenient intervals was still on the table?

An icy shiver ran down Elliott’s back, and he flinched where he sat. He slid his hand around the back of his neck and gulped another wave of saliva. Nothing was there, yet when he exhaled, he shuddered again. Shayne’s talk about Madelyn must have wormed its way into Elliott’s mind. Lord, he really was a mess.

He glanced down to make sure his sudden jump hadn’t disturbed Shayne. It was hard to tell if the boy was sleeping or just trying very hard to stay still. At least he didn’t seem to be panicked or shaking anymore. Elliott desperately wanted to stand up and walk around; moving and distracting himself would surely ease the building pain in his stomach, but he didn’t think he could get up without jostling Shayne.

Sucking in a breath and trying to brace his stomach for the move, Elliott shifted his weight on the sofa, cringing at how much the cushions flexed with him. He watched Shayne’s head, his breath still caught somewhere between his belly and his lungs. Another trickle of unpleasantly cool sweat ran down the back of his neck and his hands shook until he dropped the weight of his head into them. His elbows felt unbalanced on his knees. His stomach flipped, and he swallowed measuredly against its protests.

“El?”

“Yeah,” Elliott choked out, though he’d meant to give a friendly, open yeah? As in Felix’s chirpy Yeah, buddy? Are you okay? What can I do for you?

“Y’alright?” was all Shayne replied with.

“I’m good, yeah.” Upon tasting blood and bile, Elliott gulped again. “Just relax, okay? No one’s going to –”

Elliott jammed a fist against his lips in time to stifle a wet, shallow belch. The sound was so sudden and violent that his head shot forward, almost ducking between his own knees.

“Fuck,” Shayne gasped, scrambling upright despite the fact his eyes were barely open. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Elliott half-snapped, annoyance at himself manifesting as annoyance at Shayne. “I may have pushed myself a bit this morning, but I’m –”

He was once again cut off by a belch, this one rumbling up from much deeper inside him. His belly continued bubbling even after the air stopped being pushed up.

“El, I think you need to –”

“Don’t.” Elliott shook his head.

“Why did –” Shayne winced slightly and rubbed at his head. “Why didn’t you say you were feeling sick?”

“Because I was trying to look after you!” Elliott sighed into his hands. The tiny burst of frustration was dizzying on top of everything else. “Lord fucking knows you can’t take care of yourself.”

“Fuck you,” Shayne said back, though his voice was empty of any of its usual fight. “I’m – I’m trying, I’ve been trying… Elliott, just go to the sink!”

Elliott’s shoulders rolled as he covered his mouth with his palm, feeling a thick film grow over his tongue. He was tempted to swallow it down again but a cramp ripped through his gut, making all of his organs squeeze in defiance of him swallowing anything.

“Shit,” he somehow mumbled, sitting forward and pushing himself to his feet as Shayne pushed – weakly but with good intentions – at his back to help him up. Elliott sprinted across the kitchen tiles and flung himself at the sink, stars in his vision and blood in his mouth. He was unbearably dizzy as he heaved up what he’d drank that morning. At least it had been an animal-blood day, and he wasn’t watching mouthfuls of human blood pooling in the sink and trickling into the drain.

It was a waste, but it could have been worse. He choked on a sob, realising he’d never thought like this until Felix.

“Fuck,” Elliott gasped when something moved next to him. He hadn’t even noticed Shayne following him to the sink. “Christ. I feel awful… Why – why do I feel this bad?”

“You’re trying to force something you’re not capable of.” Shayne folded his arms and rested them on the countertop, eyes falling shut again.

Elliott spat bitterly towards the drain. “How the fuck do you figure that?”

“Because that’s my whole life summed up, El.”

Elliott gripped the neck of the tap and turned it on, directing the water around the sink to get rid of the mess he’d made. His head was spinning and his nerves still felt alive with electricity and just wrong in general, but his belly felt a lot better. He felt like he could breathe normally again.

“You okay?”

“I think so.” Elliott rinsed his mouth, running tap water into his palm and lifting it to his lips. It was cool, and soothing on his throat after the retching.

Shayne looked positively miserable as their eyes met. “What now?”

As he shut off the tap, Elliott brushed a wet hand across the back of his own neck, relishing the cold drip that started trailing down his back. He shut his eyes, feeling like he was ready to drift off to sleep on his feet, like a horse.

“Well,” he said, “how would you like to take a nap on a really nice mattress?”

[im-the-punk-who]

Hey, I was wondering if you have a book rec

!!

Okay so in full disclosure, I have a really hard time reading books. My brain sometime around six years ago just decided that wasn't its style anymore, so I don't read a TON. A lot of these aren’t going to be recent releases. However, here are a bunch of books I would absolutely recommend checking out! I tried to include a variety of genres but I have uh.....five bookshelves in my apartment so if you're looking for more of a certain genre let me know!

Theatre:

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead - Tom Stoppard

Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett

These are my two favorite plays - they're both absurdist, humorous, and have some fun things to say. They’re both by old white guys but like....I love both Tom Stoppard and Samuel Beckett DEEPLY and they have all of my love and respect.

Non-Fiction/Educational:

Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria by Beverly Daniel Tatum - this is considered a 'classic' on the psychology of racism, and was particularly helpful for me as a white person in arming myself against 'reverse racism' thoughts and in dissembling my own prejudices. This is mostly a rec for other white folks, but Tatum also addresses 'having the courage to sit at the black table' as a way of claiming your own identity outside of the stereotypes the dominant society expects of you.

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown - Okay listen I just really REALLY love Brene Brown, she is a therapist most famous for her TED talk about Vulnerability and this is just...listen I really like to read this book when I am sad and feel like shit because it makes me feel strong. I reread this book at least once a year.

Imagined Communities by Benendict Anderson - This is an absolutely fascinating read on the rise of nationalism. It’s a bit dry and wordy, but the ideas and use of history as propaganda, spinning the story of a nation to pit it against or on the same side as other nations, and the ways in which these tactics shaped cultural history is just!!!! Amazing.

Gay New York by George Chauncey - This is just one of the most informative and interesting reads of queer history in New York that I’ve ever come across. It’s one of the ‘must reads’ of queer history and has so many interesting tidbits that I have to recommend it. It’s a bit old(published in 1994) but I still find it relevant and interesting to read.

Personal Fiction/Autobiographical Fiction

White Girls by Hilton Als - I went to a reading of this book when it first came out. It was so much fun and so eye-opening for me as a baby queer in NYC that I bought the book there. I wanna be really clear that Als does not pull punches and a lot of people don’t quite like it, but I love Als’ style of writing. The stories and essays in this book are amazing and funny and heartbreaking and informative of queer experience - particularly black queer experience - that I always feel like...honored? to experience through writing? This is one of those ‘you’re gonna suffer but you’re gonna be happy about it’ reads - it can be hard to face because of how very hard the pills are to swallow but like....gosh I just love this book and it’s interesting and hilarious and great.

Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins  - this is my tin hat favorite. It hits....ugh. This is one of those books that came out and like every government agency freaked the fuck out over it. It’s an interesting look into the quote-unquote dark underbelly of capitalism; how and why countries manipulate each other through economic policies. Super interesting read with a nice style of prose.

The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs Okay so full disclosure I have not finished reading this, but I’m far enough through to rec it. This book chronicles the author’s attempt to read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica from front to back, and it is just as kooky and hilarious as it sounds. I am very incredibly and deeply offended this author stole both my schtick and my initials, thereby preventing me from doing this exact thing. I read through the phone book in its entirety when I was three. I had it in me. Anyway, this is basically the author just listing weird interesting facts he’s read about and connecting them to his daily life, but it’s a fun read, and you learn a lot of totally useless facts, which is absolutely my jam.

When Skatboards Will Be Free by Saïd Sayrafiezadeh - HI I LOVE THIS BOOK. I’ve read it maybe three times over. It’s so fun and interesting. You may notice that a lot of the books I rec are very absurdist in their humor, and this is no exception. This book is full of the dry wit and just weird goddamn shit you could only expect from the child of a revolution that never came. You want to read a book about someone who Went Through Shit? Read this book. It’s funny and heartbreaking and just. AHHHH. Seriously I cannot recommend this enough.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosch - FIGHT ME ON THIS. I love this book.....so much. Yes it’s technically a comic book but the stories are so INTERESTING and hilarious and full of exactly the dry absurdist humor I eat the fuck up. Also! Allie Brosch recently released a sequel of sorts called Solutions and Other Problems that I recommend without even reading it.

Poetry

Pansy by Andrea Gibson - IF YOU ARE NOT READING THE POETRY OF ANDREA GIBSON WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. I cried seven times reading this book. There are only like 14 poems. Please please read this to break your own queer heart :)

Bloodsport by Yves Olade - This is a tiny book full of absolutely devastating poetry. Most of it has to do with the grief of relationships, but like....gosh I love all of Olade’s stuff. (Also!! This is available as a pay-what-you-wish pdf!!)

Bright Dead Things by Ada Limón - This book focuses a lot on the author’s experiences of loss, and knowing that loss is going to happen. I’m completely devastated every time I read this.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

The Bartimeaus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud - So what if I am a dumb millennial I love this series. It’s another dry and deadpan humor, with weird additions and Stroud’s use of footnotes to absolutely crack me the fuck up means I gotta rec this. I just gotta. Four(I think?) books following the deeply unlikeable Nathaniel and his Djinn Bartimaeus, who just wants to eat humans and have a deeply enjoyable enemies to lovers plotline with his arch rival.

The Magic's Price Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey - Okay I know I’ve recced this before. I will rec it again. This was the very first series I ever read that featured a gay protagonist and I was. Devastated? Reformed? I latched onto Vanyel Ashkevron and I am never letting this depressed emo boy go. Try me, I bite. Seriously, this book was released in the 80s and yet it is still relevant, I still cry - god i LOVE this series SO MUCH. And, MERCEDES LACKEY actually invented unbury your gays, sorry I make the rule on that one. :) Also there are magic talking horses??????? Seriously please read this series I love it so much.

Fire Bringer & The Sight by David Clement-Davies - This is another series that was absolutely formative in my baby lexicon. These are books about magical animals and their inner societal workings and both books address the ideas of good, evil, darkness, compassion and good will, and destiny. I am obsessed with these books, they are some of the most interesting of the genre I’ve read, and so incredibly intricately written. LOVE these books.

Vampire Earth Series by E. E. Knight - The Witcher before it was cool. Sort of but like...there are schools of Cat, Bear, etc and it has COOL VAMPIRES I LOVE THSI SERIES. Basically, earth has been taken over by a race of alien ‘Vampires’ and follows a human involved in the resistance. The writing in this series is...wow. It’s so intricate and interesting and involved. I own the whole series because I love it so much, including the after-series hardback novels. I’m so messy and I love it.

Kindred by Octavia Butler - You know how people are like ‘YOU SHOULD READ OCTAVIA BUTLER!!’ ? You should absolutely do that. This novel is mindblowing and interesting and the pace and narrative are so so so interesting. Heartbreaking, god, horrific. Butler is an amazing writer and this novel, while my personal favorite, is not by any means the only of her books I would recommend. STORIES. STORIES!!!!!!!

Fiction

The Ballad of Barnabas Pierkiel: A Novel by Magdalena Zyzak - This book is so fucking good. It’s imaginative, funny, intelligent....it’s honestly one of the best fiction novels I’ve ever read. Again, dry, absurdist humor, this book sort of reminds me of Terry Pratchett’s style of writing.

The Call of the Wild by Jack London - This is a classic, a true classic. The social commentary of this book is so so good, London’s style flows and, personally, as a dog and animal expert, the anthropomorphisation of Buck and his fellow animals is just so well done. I love this book, it’s quite an easy read, and I reread it at least once a year.

Rolling the R's by R. Zamora Linmark - Okay. Okay okay!!!!!! I gotta take a deep breath about this one. This book is. Yuh. This is a bit younger leaning than the other fictions, focusing almost entirely on high school level characters, however the experiences and commentary is just so so good. Focusing on a diverse group of characters growing up in Hawaii in the 1970′s, this book addresses the intersectionalities of gender, sexuality, race, immigration, education, and how we define who we are. I’m obsessed.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles - A heartbreaking novel about war, innocence, adolescence, and how we hide from our truths. It’s...so good, this book hurts me a LOT okay. The prose is phenomenal, the story is poignant, and it feels like I’m ripping my own heart out with a fishhook every time I finish it.

The Toss of a Lemon by Padma Viswanathan - This is one of those books I half recommend because it’s so good, and half because of the deep wealth of knowledge it presents the reader. The author’s use of her own culture is just....goddddddddd. Intricate and interesting and so delicately included in the narrative that you can feel the love the author has for it. It’s a long read and it took me almost a month to get through reading every day, but god. It’s so soft and amazingly written I both wanted to read it all at once and take my time with it. This is another one that deals with the duality of humanity and how we connect with one another. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!

P.S. Your Cat Is Dead by James Kirkwood Jr. - I love this book I love this book I LOVE THIS BOOK. It’s fucking hilarious, entertaining, I literally laughed out loud at every single chapter. Hilarious and poignant and surprisingly deep, this book literally follows the journey of a man in which literally everything that could go wrong does. It’s fucking hilarious.

I hope that helped and gave you some new books!!! <3

[luminouswriter]

Bellarke.

UNDYING LOVE.

It’s been a couple of hours since Bellamy managed to get Clarke back. Fighting Josephine in her mind space was exhausting. As she sleeps peacefully in Gabriel’s bed, Bellamy hasn’t been able to leave her bedside. How could he? She was practically dead and he brought her back to life. In that moment the fear and pain he felt when he thought she was gone was paralyzing but he couldn’t allow it to cripple him so he fought it and found strength and he managed to get her back, he promised her he wasn’t going to let her die and he wasn’t about to break that promise. So he did just that, he didn’t let her die. But that fear and pain still lingers within him.

So as he sits by her bedside reading one of Gabriel’s novels, averting his gaze from the book to Clarke every few seconds. This time he can’t look away, he studies her face like it’s the face time his seeing her or the last time his ever going to see her. In all honesty, Clarke’s face is burned in his brain, marked for life like a tattoo. But still he takes her in when a voice breaks him from it, he looks up at Gabriel hovering over him, Gabriel stares at Clarke for a second then at Bellamy’s tired face “Why…why don’t you rest for a while, I’ll take over, I doubt she’ll wake up soon, being overtaken by Josephine and fighting her in her head must have been draining, come on Bellamy…I” but Bellamy just cuts him off by shaking his head, he sighs deeply his eyes fixed on Clarke “I’m fine, I’ll stay”

Octavia enters into Gabriel’s tent but Bellamy is too focused on Clarke to notice. Gabriel gives her a look that says talk to your brother, but Octavia warned him that her brother wasn’t going to leave Clarke’s side. Octavia crouches besides Bellamy “Don’t you want to rest a little, big brother” she says, her eyes pleading with him, Bellamy’s glossy eyes looking into his sisters “I can’t leave her O” his husky voice breaking a little, she gives him a small understanding smile and gets up “You saved her life Bell, but you need to rest, we still have to go back to sanctum, our people are there, so you can stay here but while you’re at it, get some sleep” she says adamantly. Bellamy can see the authority in her face and hear the concern in her voice. He smiles slightly and nodes his head.

“Well you said they aren’t married or even dating but your brother is definitely in love with Clarke” Gabriel says looking at Octavia once their outside the tent.

Octavia smiles at him, knowing this all too well “I know… called him out on it, he didn’t even deny it” she lets out a laugh as they walk away.

Clarkes eyes open slowly, she groans her body still sore and tired, Bellamy who was getting comfortable and dozing a little and snapping out of it, he rushes sitting beside her on the bed “Hey, hey” he says softly placing his hand on her forehead checking her temperature. There was a way that she held his gaze that made Bellamy shift a little in his sit. It was soft and longing and without even trying he gave the same look, one that he has given her before but something, right now in this moment intensified it.

He clears his throat, their eyes still fixed on each other. He smiles softly at her “You should get more rest, you’ve been through so much….” He says convincingly.

Now that Clarke is awake all she wants is to stay right here, with Bellamy by her side, but with everything that has happened it scared her that he might not want what she wants, which is crazy because he just left everyone behind to save her life but that’s her best friend so maybe it’s just that Friendship, so she pulls from the gaze “What about don’t you have to rest?, Eventually we have to get back to sanctum, find a way to save everyone”

He runs his hand through his hair “Don’t we always?” Bellamy chuckles uncomfortably, all his wanted is to hold her and never let go. But for the longest time, despite everything they have been through his always felt undeserving of her, or that she couldn’t possibly feel the way he feels, even in moments when he thought she might feel the same way, he backtracks.

“Where are you sleeping’ she says breaking his train of thought. He points at the chair by the bed side. Clarke moves, creating space by her side and pulls Bellamy in. his caught off guard, his heart beat increasing but he falls into her pull, lying beside her, the nerves increase but then something even more unexpected happens, Clarke scoots closer to bellamy resting her head on his check, and to his surprise he doesn’t freak out, yet he relaxes, this feels, right.

And as she listens to his heart beat, her body warm against his.

“I can’t believe you called me every day for six years, I wish I got them, I wish I was able to talk to you, keep you company. At least knowing you were here, alive would have eased the pain and guilt of leaving you behind” he says voice thick with emotion.

“You had to Bellamy, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t” Clarke says, trying to make him understand that he made the right choice but it doesn’t ease how he feels.

“I looked down to the ground everyday thinking of you, thinking maybe somehow you made it. But thinking that you…..” his heart grows heavy by the thought “That, you were gone. And Raven eventually promised that she would find a way to bring us back the ground but I wasn’t ready for that, I never admitted it to anyone but, coming back knowing that… that might not see you that was a painful thought, I wasn’t sure how to be on the ground without you” he admits painfully

“Yeah, I didn’t know to be on the ground without you either, so I called every day, even though I knew you wouldn’t be able to talk back but weirdly, it’s like you were here with me…. I almost didn’t survive it” she admits, the painful memory playing in her mind.

Bellamy flinches, looking down at her on his chest “What do you?” the concern in his voice clear.

This was hard for Clarke to admit to Bellamy “Before I found Eden, before Madi, I walked in search of, something, some sort of way to survive and….” She sighs heavily, tears filling her eyes “There was nothing, so I pulled out my gun, placed it my head and shouted that I was done”

Bellamy’s body tenses beneath her and she hold on “The bird that led me to nothingness also came back and showed me Eden” she says gratefully

It was hard being on the ark but he can’t imagine how hard it must been to be alone all that time and his heart has been breaking since got to the ground. Bellamy holds on to Clarke, his arms around her. “Between going up to space without you and now, watching you… die, I can’t go through that again Clarke”

Clarke forces herself on her elbows, looking up at Bellamy who has tears in his eyes, she small sad smile plays on her lips “It’s not really a guarantee with our lives, is it?” she asks sadly

His jaw clenches, his gaze focused on the ceiling “Josephine called us complicated” he scoffs.

“I heard, she wasn’t wrong” Clarke says despondently. They’ve been through a lot together, complicated is an understatement everything that they have done has been to save their people, even things done to each other “Everything that she said was…true, the fighting pits, all of it”

“We are bonded by war, Clarke, that’s not something we could have helped and we made some choices, that we regret. I had a chance to start over, for our people to have a home but that meant I had to let you go…” his shifts his gaze to her, their eyes burning into each other “I chose you” he says softly, but the guilt of leaving everyone else behind plays in his voice.

“And now we save everyone else, that’s what we do” she reminds him “Thank you ….. for choosing me, for saving me…. No one else would have done what you did, would have known how to”

He smiles “The head and the heart”

“The head and the heart” she repeats. Who would have known that those five little words she said to him before she lost him for six years would help him in saving her.

They hold their gaze, Clarke tries to bite her words but she can’t, it’s now or never “We were asleep for over a hundred years, so come to think of it, I’ve loved you for over a century” she says studying his face, she says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Bellamy who has felt so undeserving of Clarke, who has played different scenarios of him telling her how he felts, all which he thought would end up with him and a broken heart, that Bellamy was looking into the eyes of the woman he loves and she was telling him she was in love with him too, the incredulous expression says it all, which softens and he pulls her closer, their faces mere inches apart “Do you remember when I first showed you how to hold a gun?, when it was just us and I wasn’t planning to go back to camp?”

She’s smiles and nodes, the thing Clarke remembers the most about that day is how vulnerable Bellamy was, something she never thought she would ever see from him but also a pain comes with how he thought he was a monster “You asked me to run away with you” she whispers against his lips.

Bellamy sweeps Clarke’s hair off her face and smiles softly “That’s when I knew, that I was falling in love with you”

They both know what’s to come next, in this moment the whole universe ceases to exist it’s just them, breathing each other in, every second growing more intense and finally, their lips crash into each other, fitting perfectly as if those two lips were designed to kiss forever. Their kiss deep and passionate reflecting how much they have both longed for it. A kiss that carries promise to protect and love each other more than they’ve done before. A kiss that ignited a fire within their bones.

[fanficwriter013]

The Tower: Unexpected - 4

The Tower: Unexpected An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist Previous //

Pairing:  Avengers x ofc, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2671

Warnings:   Angsty talk, Steve’s past, Bucky’s depressed. Smut (oral f receiving, vaginal m/f)

Synopsis: A little over 2 years after moving into the Avengers Tower, Elly finds herself pregnant against the odds.  While some are excited, others are terrified, and pregnancy that none expected to happen causes rifts through the group and threatens to end the relationship.  

Author’s Note:  Written with the lovely @avengerscompound Y’all it’s Steve’s birthday, and this is the Steve chapter.

Chapter 4: Steve

A week passed and I still hadn’t seen any of the other men.  It was like a ghost town in the common room and while it might have been possible to go track a lot of them down, Natasha had said that Clint had gone into his shut-off defensive mode where he hid in the vents a lot and Tony had given FRIDAY orders to keep me out of the engineering lab and penthouse again.

That hurt.  A lot.  I didn’t know how many more times he could do that to me and I’d be able to forgive him for it.

I kept telling myself, processing time.  They just needed to process and figure out exactly what they wanted.  It didn’t hurt less, but it certainly helped me from not circling the drain.  Besides, while Tony did lock himself away from me, he did also go about finding a doctor for me.  An expert in obstetrics was put onto staff just to look after me.  She was in the process of relocating and I just needed to wait for that before I had my first appointment.  So even though Tony had locked me out, he was still participating.  I would take that as a good sign.

I can’t say that the thought of terminating didn’t keep coming back to me.  Not that I wanted to but I just thought it would be better if we were going to do this they had the time to decide they wanted it beforehand.  Then I pictured what that would do to Natasha and Wanda and I just couldn’t.  Especially Nat.  I think Natasha would shut down if I chose that.  It’d be that last little thing to say she didn’t get to just be a regular person.  I know, I know, it’s not my job to give that to her, but I did want this baby.  If it was just me, Nat and Wanda so be it.  I had gone into this relationship being monogamous with Nat.  It would hurt to go back to that, but I’m sure we could be happy.

I mean there was Hulk too.  He was still around.  Bruce seemed to be just… gone.  Hulk was very excited though and spent a lot of time between my room and Bruce’s.  My bed was big, but not Hulk big and being in Bruce’s place just made me miss him.

I had taken to mostly just staying in my apartment.  Wanda was sleeping with me every night and it didn’t feel as much like a slap to the face.  At the end of the week, there was a knock at my door and when I answered it, I was faced with an extremely exhausted-looking Steve.

“Um, hey. You got a minute?”  His voice matched the dark circles under his eyes.

“Yeah, come in.  Is something wrong?”  I said standing back to let him in.  I felt a twinge of guilt like this was my fault that he looked like this, but I was mostly just glad to see him.  He had been quick to call the baby his when I announced I was pregnant.  I didn’t think this was an ‘I’m out’ talk.

“No, I mean.  Yes. I mean, no.  Maybe.”  He said coming in.  He looked at me helplessly and my heart broke for him a little.  I had never seen him so frazzled.  “I'm sorry. This isn't helping.  I don't know where to start.”

I guided him to the couch and got him to sit.  “You want some tea, honey?”

He nodded and slouched forward rubbing at the pad of his left thumb.  “Yeah.  That sounds good.”

I went and made him a pot of tea and brought it back on a tray pouring him a cup when I sat down beside him.  “So, what is it?  What’s the matter?”  I asked.

He picked up the cup and just held it in his large hands, looking into the reddish brew.  “I don't know there's a lot.  What day is it?  I can't think straight, and I'm sure I'm going to say something wrong.”

“It’s about the pregnancy, right?”  I asked, a pit forming in my stomach.  “Do you not want to be a part of it?”

He put the cup down and pulled me into his arms.  “No, honey. No.”  He said, nuzzling against my neck.  “Where to start?  Where to start?”

I relaxed a little letting him hold me and looked up into the blue of his eyes.  “Maybe at the beginning.”

“Beginning. Right,”  He said and took a breath.  “So, we've talked about when I was little right?”

I obviously knew a bit.  He had been small and sick.  The list of conditions he suffered was long and most were debilitating.  His father had resented him.  Back then the idea of Eugenics was not just held by the Nazis.  It was popular in America too.  Steve was beaten by his father due to the man’s disgust that the could have such a sickly child.  “Yeah.  You were really sick.  And your dad …”

He shook his head.  “Okay, we haven't talked about this then.”

“So, tell me.”

“We…”  Steve said, obviously searching for the right words.  “Um, we meaning Bucky and I.  We talked about them.  Not with each other obviously.  What we had back then, we didn’t exactly see it as permanent.  We pictured wives and maybe… they’d understand…”  He shook his head again.  “But I was always so sick, and I didn't want to pass anything on. And then... Well…”

“So you do want kids?”

He sighed.  “Well, yes and no.”

“What's the no?”  I asked now a little confused as to where he was going with this.  “You aren't sick now.  I mean, it might not even be biologically your kid.”

He made a vague hand gesture like he was brushing that away.  “That doesn't matter to me. Can you imagine a little super soldier? What kind of stress would that do to your body?  Raising the kid?  The no... The no is about the world.”

“What about the world?”  I asked.

“It's this absolute shit show.  I went down and there were bullies and intolerance.  And I come back up and there are bullies and intolerance. I thought it'd be better.”

I rubbed his arm.  I knew he still struggled with that.  The constant need to fight the same fight over and over was exhausting for him.  “Okay... so you only wanted kids when we lived in a Utopia?”

“Well, maybe just one where I don't have to worry that they're going to be attacked by aliens. Or that their city is going to float into the sky.”  He explained.

I took his hand and gave it a squeeze.  “So no new people until then?”

“That's how I would have preferred it at least.”

“Okay…”  I took a breath and let it out slowly.  “I don't... I don't know what this means for us.  This baby is on its way.”

“No, this one is different.”  He said.  “I'd have liked to have it planned, and all the details worked out.  But that's not the reality.”

I shook my head and slumped a little, the guilt inside me bubbling up again.  I shouldn’t be forcing these people to be parents.  “I’m sorry.”

“No.  No.  It’s not your fault, sweetheart.”  He said wrapping his arms around me and kissing me on top of the head.  “It’s just… what I’ve been processing.  I keep thinking about what can I do now to get it there.  I need to make the world as safe as it can be before they get here.  I just… I need them to be safe.”  I nuzzled in against him and nodded my head.  “There’s more… Bucky…”

I looked up at him, my eyes glistening with the start of tears.  “What about him?”

“Well, he's sorta my Bucky.  But he's this new Bucky.  And the arm.”

I dropped my gazed and sighed.  I hadn’t even considered that.  Bucky must be a complete mess right now.  It had taken him so long to be comfortable having me in the bed with him, he still never quite was if we were alone.  Now he had to deal with a tiny fragile baby.  “Oh.  I get it.”

“Do you?”

“He thinks he's gonna hurt them.”

Steve nodded sadly.  “Yeah.”

“You know he's not though, right?  That's not him.”  I said looking back up at Steve.

“I know that. But he doesn't, and he's not dealing.”  He explained.

I leaned in against him again, letting him support my weight.  “I'm really sorry, Steve.  I didn't mean for this to happen.”

“I know. I'm not blaming you.”  He said.  “It's not anyone's fault.  I just need to support him as he figures it out.”

“It's not fair that he has to deal with this.  I wish he could see himself how he really is.”

“Me too. But he can't and right now he's isolating.”  He said, rubbing my arm.

“What do you want to do?”  I asked.   “I mean... You look exhausted.  How do you need to handle this that you're okay?  Do you need to step away while you help Bucky come to terms with it?  Do you want to try and timeshare?  Do you want to just do parts, like doctors appointments?  Do you want me to come and talk to Bucky too?”

“No, he'll shut down more,”  Steve said.  “I want to be here.  I am still wrapping my head about this, but this baby is happening and I want it.  I want to be here.  No matter who is actually the father.”

“I want you to be here too.  You need to take care of you too.”  I leaned up and kissed his jaw.  “I'm still waiting to hear about my first doctor’s appointment. You want to come see them with me when I have one?”

“Yes, I wouldn't miss it.”  He assured me, giving me a little squeeze around the waist.

I sighed in relief and settled back against him, playing with his hand.  “You think it will work out?  It's just been me, Wanda, Nat, and Hulk since I told everyone.”

“Yeah.”  He said.  “Give it time. We can be squirrelly.”

I nodded.  “It's hard because I don't get to hide from this.  I thought you'd all freak but I didn't think you'd all run.”

“Sorry, honey.”

“Me too. Never gonna have sex again.”  I said firmly.

“You say that now…”  Steve teased, giving my side a squeeze.

“Maybe with Nat and Wanda.  Can’t get pregnant like that.”

He ran his fingers up my side and under my breasts.  “You sure about that?”

“Steve!”  I squealed.  My breasts had been really tender and even that slight touch and sent little currents running through me.

“What?  I’m not doing anything.”  He teased leaning down and ghosting his lips over my neck.

My skin prickled and I turned so I was kneeling, facing him.  “Why?  Why are you doing this to me?”

“Can’t get pregnant if you’re already pregnant.”  He joked.

I shrugged and nodded my head.  “I guess you have a point.”

“I know what I’m talking about.”  He said and pulled me into a deep kiss.

I climbed into his lap and returned the kiss, matching his passion.  It was slow and deep and full of need.  Not just for sex, but connection and release.  We needed to be there for each other.  To know that even if he couldn’t always be there, I was still his and he was still mine.

His hands ran up my back and bunched in my hair as I ran mine through his, the soft smacking of our lips were joined by our hums of pleasure.  He pulled my shirt up over my head and unfastened my bra as I quickly unbuttoned his and pushed it down his arms.

When he latched onto my breast I mewled loudly and threw my head back, a sudden jolt running straight to my core.  He smirked and sucked, pressing his teeth down on my nipple.  A dull ache built in my breast, which had the converse effect of making the rest of me tingle.  I moaned and ground my hips down against his hardening cock, my pussy already soaking in anticipation of more.

He lifted me and lay me down on the couch, first pulling down my pants and then moving between them.  “You.  Definitely.  Sure.  You.  Don’t.  Want.  Any.  More.  Sex?”  He asked.  Each word dotted with a kiss down my stomach.

“Okay.  I take it back.”  I whined, lifting my hips up.

He chuckled and swiped his tongue up my pussy.  “Mmm…”  He hummed.  “You taste different, you know that?”

I shook my head and pulled in a ragged breath as a shiver ran up my spine.

He sucked on my clit and pushed two fingers into my cunt, slowly fucking me with them before he curled them and dragged his fingertips over my internal walls.  I gasped and bucked my hips up and he pulled his fingers free and offered them to me.  I pulled them into my mouth, sucking them clean as he watched through lust darkened eyes.

He was right it was different.  A little muskier and slightly stronger-tasting.  I hummed and I licked myself from his fingers and he dipped his head back down between my legs.

Steve is very good at learning exactly how people tick.  He seemed to get off on knowing all the exact right buttons to push to drag things out or send them over.  Right now he put all his focus on sending me over as quickly as he could.  His tongue made little patterns over my clit.  Pressing hard to barely tickling it, so I couldn’t get used to any one thing.  His fingers touched on my g-spot immediately and he was merciless with them.  Pressing them and dragging them over my g-spot and making my loose complete control of myself.  I bucked under him and my legs trembled.  The sounds I made were loud and animalistic and completely involuntary.

With a sudden surge, I came, gushing on him.  He sat up rubbing my clit through it and looking pretty pleased with himself.

“Fuck.”  I sighed as little shivers from my orgasm ran through me.  “God, I needed that.”

“Mmm… I know.”  He hummed and moved back over me.  “And I think we might both need this.”  He added sinking his cock slowly into me.  I dug my fingers into his broad shoulders looking right into his eyes as he stretched and filled me.

“Oh, god, Steve.” I moaned.

“Mmm… I know.”  He said and began to thrust.

Each of his movements was slow and deep and pushed me down into the couch.  We started to kiss again and I dragged my nails down his back and dig them into his ass rolling my hips up to meet him.

This was more than just sex.  It was reassurance and love and a need for each other.  We were connecting as a couple.  We were part of a bigger group and that might mean we weren't always available to each other but we were always here for each other.  I came for a second time and then a third.  Each one deep and intense but without the urgency of the first.  On the forth I arched up under him and dug my fingers into his back, moaning his name.  He jerked suddenly forward and came, spilling inside me.

He rolled off and we lay side by side on the couch, our limbs tangled together.  “I love you, you know?”  He whispered.  “I will make this work.  I promise.”

“I know,”  I said humming and nuzzling under his neck.  He was a good man and this was a weird situation but I knew I had him.  That even if it did take a whole for everyone to come to, we were family and we'd work this out.

// NEXT

[pffbts]

hobi x y/n just sitting down and journaling together, whether it be digital journaling, pen to paper journaling, and filming a journal with me video together. ( this really is just for me to feed the y/n college life that I can only dream of)(tbh,its really hard to imagine hobi journaling, so maybe have him just looking at me journals?? looking at my old journals maybe instead of writing his own?? or maybe even being a brat and going off on how it doesn't help him and he thinks that its weird)

(cont.) + and like, continuing what i just wrote, maybe he’s reading my old journals and talking about the past me vs the present me??? ( I’m just giving u ideas I swear I’m not trying to direct u onto writing like a commission or some ish) 🙇🏻‍♀️

GENRE. fluff; angst (minimal)

CHARACTERS. jung hoseok x reader | no supporting character.

W.C. 2K

AUTHOR`S NOTE. this is, at the end became a really cosy fic. i, though planned to write something energetically―maybe it`s because i was listening to this while writing, i ended up making a peaceful fic. anyway, thanks for sending in your idea, baby! and happy reading, bub!

LIYAN`S VERSION | the one who requested.

[10:44 AM] [and, there will only remain the words we wrote.]

―beads of perspiration gather up across your forehead sticking your baby hairs against it in that annoying way as ever. but you had to finish your laundry, so you lift your laundry basket up in both of your arms and walked further away from your apartment and towards the destination.

hoseok had exactly ten minutes left before he arrives at your place from his quick visit at the dance academy but while on his way towards your place, he couldn`t pin out what came over his mind, he dropped by a stationery shop to buy some stickers because he knows you love them but you also love it the best when he buys them for you as a complimentary gift.

though his ways of telling you are very little and like flash before your eyes, you`re always quick enough to catch up on it. after all, you had your own ways of knowing him.

you witness the flush of the water inside the machine and the cup of coffee that you held in your hand remain tightly captured in your palm. you`ve always been a nervous wreck whenever you hold something in your hand. it`s strange how this might look really ridiculous to others but for you, this is the one thing you`re scared of and that`s letting go.

you feel the constant tapping of your feet and as you look at the clock on the wall and the spins of the machine simultaneously your mind goes back to that one place your person lives. you understand that you can`t wait to reach to him.

as you hear the sudden alarm of your laundry being finished, you jump from your seat, flipping the now empty cup in the bin next to you. crouching down in front of the machine, you pull out the washed clothes and settle them rather messily in the laundry basket. there`s a rush in your system and you could almost feel it reaching the tip of your fingers now. you watch the slight tremble of your fingers but chose to quickly rub it off you head.

no one knows apart from you that it`s been five months and finally you were having hoseok over at your place. when you had offered to visit him at his dance academy, he said not to worry about that and offered himself to come over at your place.

you smile at the casual remembrance and walk out of the laundry shop, your arms now filled with energy.

hoseok, who has another set of keys jiggling happily in his jean`s pockets, took them out ever so carefully and used it to open the door of your apartment but was met with a sudden empty air when he realizes that you`re currently not at home. his eyes quickly shift to the brand new neatly white painted chair and table you had bought two weeks ago. you had sent him the pictures the moment you settled them in their current place, right at the front of the biggest window of your apartment.

he walks forward, taking out the stickers he bought while on his way here. some days he would end up buying a whole month`s supply of stickers for you and that someday somehow ended up becoming today. he knows already that you`re probably going to scold him as usual but that`s not the biggest issue here. he was getting worried where you would be at this hour. it is disgustingly hot outside and he hoped you`re wearing light clothes.

while he kept himself worried, he decides to revert his attention on the occupants of the neatly coloured table. the top of the table doesn`t look much neat in his eyes but it looks kind of aesthetic which hoseok didn`t complain about. he knows you`re a little messy so he keeps himself casual and doesn`t bring up his own neat freak from inside. he settles himself in the chair and picks up the journal that was closest to his reach.

seeing from a far, anyone can tell how much that table said about the owner herself. the flowers are fresh as usual, which means the owner changes it every day. the lampstand is clean as a white cream, the pencils, the pens, the markers, the highlighters, the thin ribbons, the gum stick, the whitener and last but not the least the still stocked stickers. each and everything was sitting in their designated place. if anyone wanted to know if the owner has a person close to her or not, they can look at the photo collage stand where polaroids of her and her person`s smiling faces are prominently visible. their happy moments are captured in time and though the time has frozen in that particular picture, the feelings inside those two humans grow with abundant depth.

it dawns upon hoseok how much he has missed you. when he traces the edge of the journal with his fingers, he dies to feel a little bit of your warmth against his own too. without another thought, he opens up the journal to the page you last wrote:

[sunflower sticker] day 152 / time: 07:23 AM―first of all, today we`re going to use only sunflowers and if i run out of sunflowers we`ll use the sun because today hobi is coming back after five months!!! i missed him a lot [sad emoji] and i`m so happy that today he`s finally coming over. i don`t know why but i`ve a feeling that he`ll probably buy a bunch of stickers again. the weather seems better today. it`s been less gloomy and too much sunny. i hope it doesn`t become too hot later on. [three extra sun stickers]

[ten sun + two sunflowers stickers] time: 10:30 AM―TOO MUCH HOTNESS and i`ve too many laundries to do. ugh, [angry emoji] why didn`t i notice that i was piling up so much, maybe college was too stressful this week (?). it`s almost time and he`ll be here and i don`t want to get a nag from him because of how much messy and lazy i become when he isn`t here. anyway, it`s getting late. i should probably get down to business.

so you must be at the laundry right now―

as hoseok`s realization dawns upon him, he hears the sound of the entrance door opening. he gets up immediately and pushes back the chair in its place.

“aaahhh for a second, i thought i didn`t lock the door!” you exclaim, putting down the laundry basket in the rack beside the washroom, “also―”

without realizing what happened in front of your eyes, you feel trapped inside the warm encasement of hoseok`s arms and chest pressing right against you. you try squinting your eyes open and your eyelashes were met with the slightly moist strands of hoseok`s hair. your fingers move to softly caress them. so, he`s really been growing his hair out. you feel him giving you soft pressed kisses against your neck and as you crane your neck a little to give him that extra access, he pulls his face away only to lean in and give you a kiss on your mouth. it`s like you had the fastest shift in your moods and you weren`t complaining in any way.

“hobi―” you try speaking only to be cut off as he gives another kiss at the corner of your lips, “no talking.”

“but―” he pulls you against him much more tightly before you could finish your second attempt at talking. right that moment you realize that you`re completely wrapped in his arms, he had completely captured you in the nest and you had no other way out but to finally return the gaze he has upon you.

“i saw you were reading my journal.” you say and almost thanked the heavens for not letting him stop your mid-start.

he nods his head slowly and pushes out his lower lip humming at you, “you were all sunflowers and suns today. care to give out the reason?”

“i was planning to but then i thought i will let you figure it out.” you shake your head with disapproval.

“oh, but baby i already got it.” and when he smiled like that, you felt like your heart collapse from the insides of your ribs and ended up at the pit of your intestines. your felt your neck heating up while you tried wiggling out of his grip.

this time, hoseok did let you out of his embrace and followed you as you sat down to write down the next update of your day`s whereabouts. as your hand reached for the pen, you saw a sandpaper bag sitting there when it wasn’t there this morning. you lift your head up to catch the anticipation filled eyes of hoseok.

“i―” i always tell you not to do this, you almost said your usual sentence but because you are seeing him after a long time and because of your inner anxiety for people and things leaving you behind didn`t work out on hoseok, you decided to vocally appreciate his effort of at least remembering your likes. “i`m glad you always do this for me,” you tangle your fingers with his slim ones, his veins providing the smooth crests and troughs against your skin and before hoseok see through your mind, you take his hand and lay them across your cheek, closing your eyes for a moment taking in that familiar sense of protection and warmth from him. “i`m glad you`re here again. i missed you a lot.”

when hoseok leans in and holds your face against his stomach, he caresses the top of your head.

“i missed you a lot too. i couldn`t wait to come back home and see you doing things you love, saying things that are on your mind, eating things you crave for, and mostly, i missed reading your daily journals. i missed living in your world.”

later that afternoon, while you were lying down on your futon beside the table and reading the newly bought book after a heavy lunch date with hoseok, you watched him sitting at your place in the chair and with a heavily concentrated face he was taking one sticker out at once and pasting them on the sides of your writings, sometimes he was taking the markers to draw little lilies and sunflowers, sometimes he added little messages like reply here and there in-between your lines.

and, you, more than concentrating on the contents of the book in your hand or the interactions in-between the characters were mostly invested in observing the wonders that hoseok`s hands did and you were sure you felt tingles inside your chest when you saw him smiling that satisfied smile whenever he was happy with his input. his hair which has been growing out a lot faster these days gave him a casual and carefree look. his extremely loose white tee and his tightly fitted jeans gave him such a beautiful look, you thought how can a person look this ethereal without even giving any effort. also, the descending sunlight that covered the place where he sat. the fading sun illuminated and made his smile into a bigger picture.

you sigh and he catches that giving you smiling eyes before going back to doing what he was into. you stretch out your legs further and finally looked back at your opened book and dived in with the smell of happiness lingering in the air around you.

fin.

▶RULES. ▶ REQUESTS/QUESTIONS. ASK BOX

[anon-luv]

I’ll Never Be Her *(FINALE)*

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Genre: Angst/ Romance

Summary: You loved him with all your heart, but he could only give you half of his.

Jimin was the love of your life, your night in shining armor when she wasn’t around.

She was his ex girlfriend,  his first love, actually she was his many firsts and she kept coming back.

He had warned you she was his weakness, but you didn’t listen, because to you having him even if it was only partially was better than not having him at all.

At least for now.

Rated M: Sexual Scenes and Languages that might not be appropriate for all ages.

Word Count: 5.2K+

Author’s Note:  Hey loves. Sorry for taking so long writing this chapter. I wanted it to feel realistic and not too overwhelming since the whole story was quite an emotional bomb. There is an epilogue coming out which will have a few surprises and let you peek in into Jimin’s and (Y/N)’s life 2 years down the road.  You can choose to stop here or go ahead and wait for the epilogue, it is up to you loves. It will be a short epilogue drabble so it may be up by next weekend. Thank you all for sticking through this!! I know we all divided into Teams for the boys and we all cried and debated over y/n’s life together. I hope you enjoyed this story and I am hoping you will enjoy my future ones. I have so many things going out of hiatus that will continue to be written and some new projects I am working on. My upcoming works so far include(for those curious souls): 

Goodnight Moon (BadGirlGoodBoyAU Jungkook OneShot)

Countdown To Us  Chpt 2 (SoulmateAU) TaexReader, YoongiXReader

Aphrodesia Chpt 1 (Jungkook StripperAU)Untitled (Jin BestFriendAU One Shot)

New (SEQUEL to Borrowed) Yoongi X Reader

I want to thank all my readers and mutuals for their support.

Specially @b-angst-tan who has been a lovely editor/ beta love her!!

I also want to thank @msserenityli for helping me choose the twins names lol. That took me forever and a day.

It took me forever to get the courage to post this, so I really hope you enjoy. Show me some love. I really enjoy reading your comments, messages, and tags when you reblog. LOVE YALL!

You were more than sure there was a knife piercing through your lower abdomen as you yelled obscenities up in the air for the world to hear.

Magical. That was what the birthing coach had repeated countless times as Jimin held your hand as you practiced breathing techniques in that vomit-green mat.

LIES! They had all been lies. The feelings, the breathing techniques, and the way Jimin had held your hand while whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

“I FUCKING HATE THAT MOTHER FUCKING SON OF A BITCH AND HIS FREAKING SPERM. CURSE HIM TO HELL!!!!” you yelled as Jin’s car came to a complete stop in front of the hospital driveway.

“I think you need to relax and breathe, remember like Ms.Hope made you do in those classes you took,” Jin said with a grimace as he jumped out of the car to help you out.

You glared at him through the window as he rushed his way into the building only to come out running with a wheelchair in tow, “You mean the ones you forced me to take??”

“Hey, I didn’t tie you down and take you against your will, I just signed you up and paid without asking you first” Jin opened the door carefully helping you up and placing you on the chair. A nurse came out after him to escort both of you into the lobby where a few other ladies grimaced your way as they patted their stomach while they panted almost in a synchronized fashion.

“We just need some information sweetie, think your partner here can take care of that while we wheel you to the back to start our assessment??” the older looking nurse asked as she took over the wheelchair.

“We are not together together, but sure. Don’t worry about it (Y/n), I got this.” Jin replied as another wave of contractions hit you full force.

“Ahhh ….okay...okay” you shouted as you were rolled into a light blue hallway, Jin no longer by your side.

You took deep even breaths trying to relax your tensed up muscles. Your birthing plan had not included a solo labor, but unless Jimin had some sort of superhero intuition you would have to adapt and conquer the situation.

“Okay hun, let’s get you in a gown before anything. How far apart are your contractions??” she asked as she assisted you on your swollen tomato red looking feet.

“Umm…. I would have to say between. Every 6 to 8 minutes and about 30 seconds each… I think-” you replied slightly stuttering as the weight of the situation started falling upon your shoulders, you were about to become a mom. Your eyes widened with a mixture of excitement and fear.

The nurse smiled softly in your direction, “Don’t worry about it. You got this, you are a strong one I can tell” she said winking your way.

You nodded at her silently as she started making her way out of the room.

“Go ahead and rest. The doctor should be in at any second” she said closing the door behind her.

You made yourself right at home laying on the strange and slightly hard medical bed. The monitors in the room were scattered around the place making the place feel a tiny bit intimidating. The 40 inch TV on the wall seemed oddly comforting and homey and you would be more than delighted if you could only figure out how to turn it on without falling on your face as a weird plan started flowing through your mind of standing on a chair and jump to reach the power button. The plus and minus button on the white control on your bed seemed to be the solution as you examined it closely, scared it would send one of the monitors into a frenzy you clicked it cautiously as if the slow touch would lessen the trigger of whatever was about to happen.

“I hope to the heavens this doesn't set off an alarm” you whispered to yourself as you made your mind up to click the plus sign. As soon as you pressed the red button the bed vibrated and roared to life as your feet rose up in a surprisingly high speed tilting your feet up towards the air whilst your hospital gown scooted upwards leaving all your lady bits uncovered.

With your luck, it shouldn’t have come to your surprise to hear the door slam open right on time to witness your a la nude display, a deep low chuckle flowed through the air, “I see you are anxious to get them treasures out huh??”

“Oh shit, I mean I am sorry for cussing … I just… sorry Doctor Kim” you stammered out trying to cover your blushing cheeks with your hands.

“Don’t worry about it, darling. I heard you cussing down the hall, as long as those bad words are not thrown my way we are all peachy in here, now let’s get them feet back in place huh??” he replied with a chuckle as he pressed a button on the side of the bed leveling you out back in place and raising the headrest a tiny bit making everything more comfortable.

You eyed the handsome doctor from top to bottom taking in the contrast of his serious demeanor versus his kind words. As if he knew he was carefully examined he threw a rectangular smile your way quickly lifting up the tension in the room.

“These beds can be tricky, and quite amusing if you are in the right mood.” He said as he slipped on some gloves, “Now let’s take a look and see how far along you are. Open your legs slightly for me… this might feel slightly uncomfortable. Do you blush quite this often on a daily basis??”

Your blush depend as you managed to shake your head no as you felt a cold sensation making you jump slightly in place.

The door opened once again at that exact moment, Jimin’s head poking in looking flushed and slightly out of breath, “Sorry am I late??? I came here as fast as I could manage with the after-school traffic” he said as his eyes wandered around the room taking in the dull colors on the walls and weird medical jargon scribbled across random anatomy posters, then landing straight on the sight of Doctor Kim with his hand right up your gown.

Jimin coughed awkwardly, trying to remind himself he was in a professional setting and that he had to get his mind out of an endless pit of the gutter it had landed on as his instinctive self-had placed almost automatically as he came to the realization of how handsome Dr.Kim truly was.

“Actually, you are right on time to assist on labor pains. She is dilated at a 6 and currently on active labor" Dr. Kim explained as he stood up taking both of his gloves off as he walked towards Jimin, “Now it is expected of the father to assist the mother of his children through this enchanting life changing yet painful journey through comfort during these times, but if you give her any trouble I will personally kick your ass out of here, and it will no longer be Doctor Kim in the room, but Kim Taehyung just an FYI buddy” Dr. Kim stated as he gave him an innocent broad rectangular smile his way and a wink your way.

“Epidural??” Dr. Kim asked as if the previous conversation hadn't happened a few seconds ago.

You nodded, “I think I am going to….Ahhh,” you said being cut off by another rush of contractions.

“Got it… the anesthesiologist will be right in” Dr. Kim stated as he walked out of the room leaving you alone with a disheveled looking Jimin.

You frowned his way trying to ignore his presence yet failing. You were clearly mad and frustrated at him and he knew it.

“(Y/N), I am sorry… I  had to go” Jimin began to explain as he approached your bedside. His voice barely above a whisper and trembling at the end. You knew he was on the verge of tears, but at this point, you could care any less as another yelp came from your lips from the stabbing sensation on the back of your spine. You breathed in deeply trying to ease the painful sensation that had traveled upwards making your whole body squirm uncomfortably.

“You … didn’t have to go Jimin. No one was holding a gun to your head. You went because you wanted to, you needed to be there for Stephany, even if it meant leaving me behind AGAIN” you said as the pain that flowed through your eyes switched to rage as you eyed him from head to toes.

“No no, that is not at all what it is. It has never been Stephany (Y/n). I went to say goodbye. Yoongi called me, and he told me he was planning to propose a change of scenery to Steph and I knew I had to say goodbye, not to Stephany so much as I had to go say bye to Nataly. That little girl is like a niece to me and she reminds me so much of the bright and cheerful Stephany I had once called my best friend. She has so much light in her and I… that little girl is like a piece of Stephany I thought had been lost and I am so scared that she will get hurt just like her mama did. I have been there for her just as much as I have been there for her mom, and I know the whole situation Stephany is putting Yoongi and Nataly through is completely unfair to the both of them. I should have been there for you… I am sorry” Jimin replied as he buried his face in his hands, “I am so sorry, and I know that won’t change a thing but-”

“AHH!” you screamed as your uterus roared to life once again making every other issue in the world seem minute to the immense pain now bursting through you.

Jimin ran towards you grabbing a hold of your hand immediately, “Breath (Y/N), Breath…”

“Easy for you to say you son of a bi...AH!!!!” you replied earning you a grimace from Jimin’s whose hand looked redder than a tomato as you held on to it as your life depended on it.

Sweat was now dripping down your forehead as Jimin ran his fingers through your hair and counted breaths easing you out of the contraction.

“That felt like it was a lot longer than the last one,” you said as you adjusted yourself. The previous discussion left behind as the reality came once again crashing full force in your face, “Jimin… I am scared” you admitted in a quiet sob as he scooted himself into the bed beside to you.

“It is okay to be scared love. If you weren’t I would be scared. Our lives are about to change in a manner of hours...maybe even minutes. You and I have not had the greatest of relationships in the world, and I took you for granted for so long… I can’t even fathom to ever forgive myself, but I can tell you right now that I am going cherish every single second of the day beside our little angels tenfold. You are my family (y/n), and if you can give me another chance to prove it to you...I would give my world up for you. I know today was not the greatest of examples, and once again I shouldn’t have been scared to let you know what was going on. You are more than just my girlfriend, you are my partner in crime and I should treat you as such. I LOVE YOU! I will love you always and forever...even if you choose not to be with me anymore” Jimin said as tears slowly traveled down his reddened cheeks.

You took a deep breath swallowing the words he had spilled as a sweet hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night. The tension that had been sown into your aching muscles relaxing almost into nothingness, but before you could utter a word another contraction pushed through the surface once again throwing you into fits of rage.

“JIIIMIIIIN!!!!” you yelled painfully as he bravely took both your hand in his.

“Breathe (y/n). Close your eyes and imagine little hands and feet, and the smell of baby shampoo, the pain is worth it …. The pain will be less and less” Jimin tried to soothingly whisper in your ear.

“BULLSHIIT!!! This pain will not goo AHHHWAY!” you said almost ripping his hands off as you grasped onto them tighter, the pain increased to a level it hadn’t before knocking your breath out of the continuous rhythm it had settled into before making you slightly dizzy and nauseated.

Doctor Kim came in with a smile on his face, “Well won’t you look at that monitor, we are definitely close, and the anesthesiologist is barely on his way! Let me check you once again because your contractions have definitely increased in duration… If you excuse me”

Jimin nodded looking at the doctor wide-eyed as he assessed you once again as the cold sensation of the gloved made you wiggle with the alien sensation.

“Well...we can’t wait much longer you are at a 9 now. That was quick…” Doctor Kim said talking more to himself than anyone else in the room.

The door opened as Jin walked in looking at the floor lost in thought, “I swear they have way too much paperwork….. Like how many times did I have to print your name?? Don’t they have those sticker name labels or something??” he complained as he plopped himself on the nearby couch finally looking up to inspect his surroundings. Jin smiled at the doctor and then looked at Jimin with relief clearly radiating off him.

“You made it!!” Jin screamed enthusiastically. I frowned his way as I put two and two together, but right before I could question him….

“AHH!!!! MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!! THIS HAS GOT TO STOP HURTING SO MUCH!! WHERE IS THE FREAKING EPIDURAL COMING BRIGHT AND SHINY DOCTOR!!!??? WIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE!!!” you screamed not really paying attention to anything you were saying, “NEVERMIND NEVERMIND DONT DONT STOP SMILING!!! IT IS PRETTY!!!! YOU ARE PRETTY! FUCK JIN YOU CALLED JIMIN AFTER WE FUCKING KISSED!!!”

“You kissed??” Jimin asked completely shocked sending a death glare towards Jin.

“I smell drama” Doctor Kim said winking at both their ways.

“She was confused Jimin… she could only think of the worst possible scenario at that point, and I mean it wasn’t even that long of a kiss cause her water broke….and wait doctor shouldn’t you be doing something?? You wink too much” Jin said defending himself as your screams only got louder.

“You do wink too much...Look I don’t care about the kiss. All I know is that I am glad you were there when I wasn’t. Jin you deserve…” Jimin said to Jin almost completely blurring your loud pants only to be cut off when you screamed once again.

“JIMIN MAKE IT AHHH!” you said as the pain started to subside once again.

“Okay, well the epidural won’t do much at this point. We are going to go ahead and prep her for delivery. Are you ready to start pushing??” Dr. Kim asked as he started to make his way out the door.

“I don’t…” you stuttered.

“PERFECT! What about you Daddy??” Dr. Kim said genuinely smiling at Jimin for once.

Jimin looked your way as his face brightened as fresh tears traveled down his cheeks, “More than ever”

Jin grimaced as he stood up from the couch, “This is my queue to walk out of here before my face hits the floor. I fainted when they showed us the birthing video in class, I can only imagine what a live one will do… I will go wait at the waiting room with Nat and Yoongi”

You turned towards Jimin questioningly, “Wait… why is Yoongi here?? Is Steph okay??”

Jimin placed a finger on your lips, “Shhhh…. I will explain later. Steph is no longer my problem. This is a moment for you and me only. Everyone else is a speck of dirt in this infinity galaxy that is us, now are you ready?”

“More than ever” you replied as Jimin kissed your forehead. For a second a smile adorned your face...For a second until another contraction made its way.

2 pairs of eyes, 40 baby toes, 2 pairs of chubby little feet, a full set of hair, one head a little on the bald side with very light thin hair, and 2 cries that sent your world into a spiral of happiness.

Roilan was born at 20:17 with a full cry that rattled throughout the hallway, a future opera singer was what Dr. Kim said as soon as he burst into baby cries.

Leilani was born at 20:25 a lot more stubborn to let the world know she had made an appearance. It took a bit of coaxing to get her to cry, but as soon as Doctor Kim assured her health seemed to be at 100%  she was back asleep almost automatically.

There was something incredibly magical of watching Jimin cradle both babies as he sang soft sweet lullabies as their little hands wrapped around his fingers.

“They are beautiful” Jimin whispered to himself as tears threaten to spill down my face.

“To be honest they look like little old people, a little swollen and wrinkly but nonetheless beautiful” a deep voice called out from the door, “It happens with all newborns, so don’t worry in about a few hours the swelling goes down and they look a hella lot cuter”

“Yoongi??” you asked out loud confused as he entered the door with a very excited Nataly in his arms. As soon as he placed her down on the floor she came running towards you with an excited and curious glint in her eyes.

“Aunty (Y/N), did you already have your parasites??” she asked clapping her hands in delight.

You raised your eyebrows confused, “What Natty??”

“Yeah, my dad was talking about how babies eat out of the mommies like parasites” she explained nodding her head in full understanding.

“Well … umm... That is strangely correct, but it doesn’t sound too nice to call them parasites, but we can call them Leilani and Roiland.” you replied as you patted the unruly golden hair on her head.

“Leili and Roy!!” she scram now running towards Jimin who quickly smiled her way as she kissed both heads and started talking to babies as if they could understand her perfectly, both pairs of eyes trying to focus on her for now blurry figure as they tried to suck on their hands.

You turned to look at a smiling Yoongi, “Parasites??” you questioned him with an eyebrow raised.

“You tell me how I was supposed to explain it to a little girl. She asked why every 4 words… Anyway, congratulations love!” he said engulfing you in a hug which you returned automatically.

You looked behind him expecting to see Stephany walking in at any second. Yoongi’s eyes traveled to your line of sight, “No, she is not here, and she won’t be around for a while”

“But you and Nataly?” you asked concern written along the creases in your forehead.

Yoongi just shook his head, “Steph thought it would be best to let us go, at least until she is better, but at this point… I am not sure if she is coming back”

You nodded now understand as to why Jimin had run away from your side earlier today. You turned to look at Jimin and Natalie as they simultaneously sang ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ to the once again sleeping twins.

“I am sorry Yoongi I wish…” you replied only to be cut off by his hand interlacing with yours.

“No. There is nothing any of us could’ve done to help her. We tried. We all did. Jimin sacrificed so much and at the end of the day, she always fell back to old habits. I had a lot of people tell me she had to hit rock bottom to actually try and help herself out of this, and maybe she finally did. All I need is that little girl by my side to keep me going. She deserves a whole lot more than I have been able to give her in her short life, and I am going to make sure I fulfill my duty as her father and best friend. My focus will be on her. She needs me, and if Stephanie ever decides to come back... Well, that would be nice, but I am done waiting” Yoongi said confidently, “Now I am sorry to interrupt your moment, but Nataly and I just came by to say goodnight. It is late and time for her bedtime. Jin wanted us to wait a little longer, but Nataly wanted to see the babies before she fell asleep.”

Nataly kissed Jimin and the twins goodnight and then jumped on the bed to kiss your forehead and engulf you in a hug with her tiny little arms, “Love you, Auntie”

“Love you too princess. Be good with your Dad” you replied as you watched her jump into Yoongi’s arms as a gummy smile appeared on his face.

She smiled back at you, “Always”

Jin came in an hour later with 2 giant bears. One pink with a giant tutu, and one blue with a baseball bat. He tiptoed into the room afraid to wake up the twins as they both slept on their baby hospital beds.

“You know Jin you can just walk normally in here,” you said to encourage him to walk quickly to your bedside. Jimin had fallen asleep in the recliner as if he had been the one who had just given birth and pushed out two little humans through his privates. Soft snores spilled from Jimin’s plump lips as Jin peeked in to see the twins.

“They are so cute and tiny” Jin squeaked out in a quiet yet excited tone.

“Yep yep. I make cute babies..what can I say” you replied winking his way.

Jin placed the bears on the side table and then sat on the edge of your bed, “Winking might just be contagious, you are not allowed to hang out with that doctor anymore (y/n). I am glad everything went okay.” his eyes traveled to a sleeping Jimin, “and I am glad you are happy”

You nodded as you reached over to take his hand, “I am… and I am sorry.”

“Wait, what are you sorry for??” Jin asked quietly tilting his head to the side making his manly features look like those of a lost puppy.

You sighed scared to speak the words out loud, as if by not saying them everyone can go about like it had never happened, “The kiss” you stuttered, “I am sorry it took me so long to realize how you felt, and I am really sorry…”

“You don’t have to say it” Jin cut you off looking towards Jimin, “I know…”

“But you don’t. If things between Jimin and I weren’t so complicated. If I had the strength to just let go….it would be you” you said as silent tears traveled down your cheek.

Jin scooted his way closer to you and grasped your face with his hands delicately as if you were made out of this world’s finest crystals, “(Y/N), that is the thing… I am not what you want. You and I are best friends no matter what, through thick and thin. Maybe I should’ve told you how I truly felt, but I knew that with what was going on between you and Jimin it would be taking advantage of the situation and I didn’t want that. I wanted you. I want you.”

You shook your head, “Jin you deserve so much more than me. You need to be someone's number one, just like you told me so many times. You are gold Jin”

“You are gold” Jin replied instantly, “I think I need to go ahead and go home for the night. I will go by your apartment and make sure the doors are locked”

“Thank you Jin,” you said unsure of what you should really say.

Jin nodded and turned to face the door walking almost reluctantly out the door.

“Wait, Jin!” you yelled unconsciously.

Jin turned to face you puzzled at your sudden outburst.

You slowly sat up from the bed and wiggled up on your feet slowly marching up to him, not quite sure about what you were doing at this point.

As you stood right in front of him you tippy-toed and laced your arms around his neck and rested your head on his chest, “I love you Jin. I love you so so so much, and I wish I could be in love with you too, but I am in love with Jimin and it would be highly unfair to you.”  You separated yourself from his chest and peered up into his eyes, “Best Friends??”

Jin leaned in and placed a soft kiss in your forehead, “Best Friends until a Zombie Apocalypse falls upon us and I get bitten, then I can make no promises I will want to eat your brains… of course if it makes you feel any better I would choose your brains over any others”

“You are so weird” you chuckled as you let him go.

The soft cries of Leilani shook you both back to reality, “I am thinking she might be hungry, she has only woken up to eat so far”

“Time to go then,” Jin said waving a small bye as he stepped away.

As soon as Jin was out of sight you heard some movement from the corner of the room “She is more than likely hungry”  Jimin’s voice surprised you as you scooped her tiny body up in your arms.

“I think so too. She is a sleepy head” you sat on the bed and latched her onto your breast which she quickly took as her little hand went into a tight fist.

Jimin walked towards Roilan who was still quietly sleeping, “I still can’t seem to believe they are already here”

“Yeah me either,” you said smiling.

“(Y/N), I heard what happened with Jin, and I am sorry for everything I put you through, but is it true?? Are you still in love with me”

You nodded right away, “I have no doubt I am, but to be honest I am not sure what I want to do right now. I need to focus on the babies and every time I let you in we fall back into the same routine. We can give this another go, but we would have to start from the beginning once again you just have to give me some time to adjust to everything.”

“You can have all the time you want” Jimin replied as a bright smile appeared on his face, “This is like the best day ever”

“Calm down there. When I mean from the beginning I mean literally dates and all” you replied, “Nothing too serious or dramatic until I feel comfortable”

Jimin nodded, “I will take anything I can get, but will it be too much to ask for a kiss??”

A deep voice broke through the room catching you and Jimin by surprise, “Did you not hear the lady?? She said to CHILL! Anyway congratulations on your bundles of joy, how are you feeling??” a civilian dressed Doctor Kim Taehyung asked as he approached you with a small gift bag, “This is for your minions and this is for you” he replied handing you 4 large sunflowers that shined as bright as him. A small card rested upon the petals which you quickly opened curiously. A blue inked phone number was scribbled across with a smiley face.

“That is my personal number in case you ever need anything… and now that you are dating… casually...” Taehyung replied winking playfully your way.

You chuckled at his joking demeanor while Jimin’s sudden change of mood was written all over his frowning face.

“Anyway I have to go sleep, the bed is calling to me. Goodnight!” Doctor Kim said walking away without giving Jimin another glance.

“Goodnight Doctor Kim” you replied earning you a cheeky smile from the clearly amused doctor.

“You can call me Tae,” he said as he skipped his way out the door.

“I don’t like him,” Jimin said sitting next to you in the bed.

You rolled your eyes at his pout and then leaned in quickly to kiss him catching by surprise.

“But I like you...scratch that I love you. I am so in love with you” Jimin rambled on and on until you once again leaned in to capture his plump pink lips. You knew you had told Jimin you wanted to take things slow and at your own pace, but you had a feeling that wouldn’t last too long with all these boundaries you were trying to set between the both of you. You were so head over heels in love with him, and you could finally confidently say he felt the same.  At that very moment, everything felt perfect, and then not only one cry but two cries erupted loudly through the room forcing both of you to separate from the passion filled kiss.

“Welcome to parenthood” Jimin whispered happily.

“That smile won’t be there for long, especially at 3 in the morning Jimin” you replied as you traded babies now latching Roilan on, “Leilani requires a burping session and then diaper change”

“Yes Ma’am” he replied in an over exaggerated deep voice as he saluted.

Hey loves. Sorry for taking so long writing this chapter. I wanted it to feel realistic and not too overwhelming since the whole story was quite an emotional bomb. There is an epilogue coming out which will have a few surprises and let you peek in into Jimin’s and (Y/N)’s life 2 years down the road. Some stuff will not be pink and fluffy, and there is like I said a little twist in the story which to be honest I am still debating myself about. You can choose to stop here or go ahead and wait for the epilogue, it is up to you loves. It will be a short epilogue drabble so it may be up by next weekend.

Thank you all for sticking through this!! I know we all divided into Teams for the boys and we all cried and debated over y/n life together. I hope you enjoyed this story and I am hoping you will enjoy my future ones. I have so many things going out of hiatus and will continue to be written.

My upcoming works(for those curious souls):

Goodnight Moon (BadGirlGoodBoyAU Jungkook OneShot)

Countdown To Us  Chpt 2 (SoulmateAU) TaexReader , YoongiXReader

Aphrodesia Chpt 1 (Jungkook StripperAU)

Untitled (Jin BestFriendAU One Shot)

[felicia-cat-hardy]

Maddie &amp; Kenzie Ziegler On Their 'Dance Moms' Childhood, TikTok, &amp; Becoming Best Friends

The world first met Maddie and Kenzie Ziegler in 2011, as the 8- and 6-year-old sisters at the heart of the new unscripted series Dance Moms, a Lifetime reality juggernaut that would make them household names. The series chronicled their travails in competitive dance and revealed their indisputable talent, but it also served as a very public time capsule of their childhood. Every win, loss, and memeable ugly-cry was recorded and available to fans to replay over and over... and over again.

Since they took their last bow on Dance Moms in 2016, the Zieglers’ professional lives have evolved in refreshingly different ways. Maddie, now 18, has appeared in several of Sia’s music videos, and her acting credits already include this year’s Music, opposite Kate Hudson, plus Steven Spielberg’s upcoming West Side Story remake. Kenzie, 16, has embarked on a solo career in pop music (she, too, has collaborated with Sia) and emerged as a certifiable social media star, “the best TikToker,” if you ask Maddie. Both sisters have authored books and released clothing and beauty lines. Any move they make on social media immediately garners millions of likes and comments.

Looking back on their hugely successful but often stressful first decade of fame, both Ziegler sisters cite one important constant: their friendship. Yes, they often fought and were pitted against each other on the show, but according to them, the experience of growing up on screen while navigating almost constant pressure to perform actually strengthened their bond. For Elite Daily’s BFF issue, Maddie and Kenzie interview each other about life in the public eye, finding their individual strengths, how they approach relationships (ahem: boys), and why they’ll always have each other’s back.

Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid.

Kenzie Ziegler: When did you realize we had an unusual childhood?

Maddie Ziegler: We got pulled out of school every day to go to dance and film a TV show, so that was not normal at all. We ended up not even finishing [at our] elementary school, because we got pulled out so much for work. And then once we started traveling, people started recognizing us. I remember we were in an ice cream store and someone called our names, and we were so freaked out. Like, how did these people know us? And then we realized, Oh, there’s a lot of attention around our show.

Kenzie: Yeah. It was so unusual, but I don’t even remember a time before.

Maddie: I don’t think we processed how unusual it was for a 6- and 8-year-old. Luckily, me and you had each other.

What’s a time growing up [when] you were glad to have a sister?

Kenzie: When I was younger, I was going through a lot of hate, so I’m glad that I had you. Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid. I’m glad we were doing the same thing so I could have a shoulder to lean on.

Maddie: I feel the same way, even though we fought a lot. And what’s funny is that even though I’m older, most of the time you were the one sticking up for me. We’re so different in the sense that I’m a people-pleaser. I’m super scared to voice my opinion, or at least I used to be. I didn’t want to start any drama. I didn’t want to get in the way. You, on the other hand, speak your opinion. Whenever something’s not right, you’re like, “I’m not going to let this slide.” I admire that about you so much.

Kenzie: I’m the type of person that if I’m in a fight with someone, I don’t really stick up for myself. But when it comes to my friends or you, I will not have it.

Maddie: How did you deal with all the comparisons between us when we were kids?

Kenzie: I handled it pretty badly. I was a bratty kid. We’d be doing interviews, and I’d just be like, “I’m not Maddie,” yelling at you, and you had nothing to do with it. You’re just a good dancer, and we’re sisters, and that was it. But we still get compared to this day. Every sister gets compared, no matter who you are.

Maddie: It broke my heart that you got compared to me so much as a dancer. Like, if you didn’t win, why weren’t you as good as Maddie? That is so heartbreaking. Everyone should be allowed to shine in their own ways. That’s why I was so happy you took [up] singing, because I can’t sing for the life of me. It’s good that we have our own things. We’re allowed to be different.

Kenzie: When’s a time you felt competitive with me, and how did you get over it?

Maddie: Well, literally our whole lives, we competed. And I was absolutely the competitive one in the family.

Kenzie: You still are.

Maddie: I still am, but I’m not as crazy as I used to be. I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

There was that time we competed in the same category for solos, and you beat me — you got first place, and I got second. I was like, “I cannot believe this. She beat me. She’s younger than me.” It was really hard for me to get over. Now looking back, I’m like, “That is amazing. She deserved that. Her dance was better.”

I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

Kenzie: I did rub it in your face, but I had every right to because it would never happen again. I remember writing on my trophy, “I beat Maddie with this trophy,” and you were so mad, and I was like, “You’re going to beat me next week.”

Maddie: We could not be more different when it comes to dance and our strengths.

Kenzie: You love contemporary. You would die for contemporary, I’m pretty sure. And you look so beautiful doing it. I’m more into hip-hop now.

Maddie: I feel like our strengths in dance [match] our personalities. I’m so sensitive and emotional, so that’s what I gravitate toward, the emotional contemporary dancing. And you can be super sassy. You were always so powerful, so strong when you danced, and hard-hitting. That’s why you’re so good at hip-hop, jazz, gymnastics. That was always your forte.

Kenzie: Not anymore.

Maddie: I’m sure if I asked you to do a standing back tuck right now, you could do it.

Kenzie: Maybe, but I can’t touch my toes. So that’s probably done.

Let’s talk about how I got you into TikTok, because I did, and I’m the only person you follow, which is so nice.

Maddie: It took a very long time for you to convince me to join. I had a fake account just to watch your TikToks. I would also try the dances, but I would just put them in my drafts.

Kenzie: You were telling me, “I will never tell you my TikTok,” [then] you followed my account, and I was like “Why is BonjoviLover...”

But I remember you called me a few months ago, and you were like, “I’ve made a TikTok,” and I was like, “There’s no way.” When I film a TikTok, I film it once, then I post it. I don’t really care what I look like. You did it 10 times and were like, “What do I say? What do I do?” And I was like, “It’s just fun. You can do whatever you want on it.”

Maddie: I didn’t understand. Now I’m better at it. A little bit. But I do love the app, and that is because of you. You are the best TikTokker, without a doubt.

Kenzie: No.

Maddie: You do the best transitions. You do the best dances, but also, like you said, you’ll learn a dance and film it once. You don’t even watch it back; you just post it. You have such a carefree mentality about it, like, “This is me, whether you like it or not.” It’s so amazing.

You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me.

Kenzie: You’re just hyping me up.

I like the app because you can be very real. On Instagram, everyone has to look perfect, and we worry about what we post. But on TikTok, you can post a video with no makeup, straight out of bed, or doing the craziest, stupid stuff, and everyone will think it’s funny or be like, “Oh, I love how authentic you are.” It’s more of a drama-free zone. The other day, you and I filmed that TikTok of us just shimmying in a car, and it was just fun and everyone loved it.

Maddie: People have started to comment way more positive things.

Kenzie: Before you joined, when we would learn dances together on my account, the comments would be like, “Maddie’s better.” And I was like, “OK, we know.” I stopped posting with you because I was like, “This is just so stressful and annoying.” And then I was like, “Whatever, I’m going to post with her again.” And I did, and it was way worse. So then I posted a video and said, “Hey, I know you all think it’s cool to compare us, but I’ve been compared to her my whole life. So if you’re going to comment, just comment something positive.” Now it’s more like, “They dance so well together. They look like they’re having so much fun.” I think people understand now that we don’t do it to compete.

Maddie: Exactly. We do it for fun.

Is there any good advice I’ve given you over the years, as an older sister?

Kenzie: You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me. Now I don’t do that at all, but you saw it firsthand, and you were so angry about it, and I totally shut you out. I was like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then I really thought about it, and I was like, she’s right. Every time you’ve been right.

Maddie: I was like, “I think he’s using you,” but you’re blinded when you’re in the middle of a relationship. Eventually you understood. I knew you would. It’s one of those things where even if I told you a million times, you had to figure it out yourself.

I think as much as I’m a people-pleaser and you stand up for yourself, in relationships you’re a people-pleaser, too. We both want to make everyone happy around us. We don’t want to stir the pot. That’s how Mom is, too. Our whole family.

Kenzie: It’s a blessing and a curse.

Maddie: It is. But I’m really happy we’ve both gotten to a point in relationships where we’re comfortable voicing our opinion without worrying we’re going to hurt someone’s feelings.

Kenzie: And we can talk to each other. When I was younger, I wouldn’t tell you a lot of things, because I thought you would either tattle on me or tell me I was doing something wrong. I’m glad we’re older and more mature. We don’t live together anymore, which is sad, but now we’re best friends.

Maddie: I was thinking about that the other day, when we were in the car together crying-laughing. Usually we’d be screaming at each other, and now we’re having so much fun.

Kenzie: What’s your least favorite thing about me? I’m just curious.

Maddie: I can’t think of anything.

Kenzie: There’s something.

Maddie: How impatient you are. If I don’t do something you asked for straight away, you’re so mad.

Kenzie: My answer ties in with that.

Maddie: What is it? I take too long?

Kenzie: No, it’s how you zone out. I’ll be like, “Hey, Maddie, can you take pictures of me for this?” And you’re just not answering. I’ll be like, “Maddie.” And you’ll be like, “What?” And I’ll say, “What did I ask you?” And you’re like, “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”

Maddie: It’s not personal. I do it to everyone. I’m very distracted.

Oh, I have a question. I moved into this apartment and have a guest room all nice for Kenzie, and she never comes over. Why?

Kenzie: You know why I don’t come over.

Maddie: Because you can’t drive. Get an Uber.

Kenzie: I’m not allowed to Uber anymore. Mom just says, “Don’t Uber. It’s scary.” But another reason is, “Hmm, do I want to go over to Maddie’s and she’s going to fall asleep at nine o’clock?”

Maddie: Remember when we had a sleepover and started watching TV, and you were like, “You’re not going to fall asleep now, right?” And I was like, “Definitely not.” And I was out.

Kenzie: You’re a grandma, fully.

Maddie: Sorry, this is so random, but do I have to pick you up today?

Kenzie: Yes.

Maddie: I have to take this girl everywhere.

Kenzie: Getting my license in a week. Just wait.

Top Image Credits: On Kenzie: Louis Vuitton clothing and shoes, Jennifer Fisher earrings, Talent’s own earrings; On Maddie: Chanel clothing, bracelet, and belt, Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Mejuri rings, Free People socks, Dr. Martens boots

Photographer: Paley Fairman

Stylist: Tiffany Reid

Hair: Danielle Priano

Makeup: Tonya Brewer

Manicure: Emi Kudo & Thuy Nguyen

Set Designer: Bette Adams

Bookings: Special Projects

Videographer: Sam Miron

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[hoynovoy]

Maddie &amp; Kenzie Ziegler On Their 'Dance Moms' Childhood, TikTok, &amp; Becoming Best Friends

The world first met Maddie and Kenzie Ziegler in 2011, as the 8- and 6-year-old sisters at the heart of the new unscripted series Dance Moms, a Lifetime reality juggernaut that would make them household names. The series chronicled their travails in competitive dance and revealed their indisputable talent, but it also served as a very public time capsule of their childhood. Every win, loss, and memeable ugly-cry was recorded and available to fans to replay over and over... and over again.

Since they took their last bow on Dance Moms in 2016, the Zieglers’ professional lives have evolved in refreshingly different ways. Maddie, now 18, has appeared in several of Sia’s music videos, and her acting credits already include this year’s Music, opposite Kate Hudson, plus Steven Spielberg’s upcoming West Side Story remake. Kenzie, 16, has embarked on a solo career in pop music (she, too, has collaborated with Sia) and emerged as a certifiable social media star, “the best TikToker,” if you ask Maddie. Both sisters have authored books and released clothing and beauty lines. Any move they make on social media immediately garners millions of likes and comments.

Looking back on their hugely successful but often stressful first decade of fame, both Ziegler sisters cite one important constant: their friendship. Yes, they often fought and were pitted against each other on the show, but according to them, the experience of growing up on screen while navigating almost constant pressure to perform actually strengthened their bond. For Elite Daily’s BFF issue, Maddie and Kenzie interview each other about life in the public eye, finding their individual strengths, how they approach relationships (ahem: boys), and why they’ll always have each other’s back.

Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid.

Kenzie Ziegler: When did you realize we had an unusual childhood?

Maddie Ziegler: We got pulled out of school every day to go to dance and film a TV show, so that was not normal at all. We ended up not even finishing [at our] elementary school, because we got pulled out so much for work. And then once we started traveling, people started recognizing us. I remember we were in an ice cream store and someone called our names, and we were so freaked out. Like, how did these people know us? And then we realized, Oh, there’s a lot of attention around our show.

Kenzie: Yeah. It was so unusual, but I don’t even remember a time before.

Maddie: I don’t think we processed how unusual it was for a 6- and 8-year-old. Luckily, me and you had each other.

What’s a time growing up [when] you were glad to have a sister?

Kenzie: When I was younger, I was going through a lot of hate, so I’m glad that I had you. Our teacher, the environment we were in — it was all very stressful as a kid. I’m glad we were doing the same thing so I could have a shoulder to lean on.

Maddie: I feel the same way, even though we fought a lot. And what’s funny is that even though I’m older, most of the time you were the one sticking up for me. We’re so different in the sense that I’m a people-pleaser. I’m super scared to voice my opinion, or at least I used to be. I didn’t want to start any drama. I didn’t want to get in the way. You, on the other hand, speak your opinion. Whenever something’s not right, you’re like, “I’m not going to let this slide.” I admire that about you so much.

Kenzie: I’m the type of person that if I’m in a fight with someone, I don’t really stick up for myself. But when it comes to my friends or you, I will not have it.

Maddie: How did you deal with all the comparisons between us when we were kids?

Kenzie: I handled it pretty badly. I was a bratty kid. We’d be doing interviews, and I’d just be like, “I’m not Maddie,” yelling at you, and you had nothing to do with it. You’re just a good dancer, and we’re sisters, and that was it. But we still get compared to this day. Every sister gets compared, no matter who you are.

Maddie: It broke my heart that you got compared to me so much as a dancer. Like, if you didn’t win, why weren’t you as good as Maddie? That is so heartbreaking. Everyone should be allowed to shine in their own ways. That’s why I was so happy you took [up] singing, because I can’t sing for the life of me. It’s good that we have our own things. We’re allowed to be different.

Kenzie: When’s a time you felt competitive with me, and how did you get over it?

Maddie: Well, literally our whole lives, we competed. And I was absolutely the competitive one in the family.

Kenzie: You still are.

Maddie: I still am, but I’m not as crazy as I used to be. I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

There was that time we competed in the same category for solos, and you beat me — you got first place, and I got second. I was like, “I cannot believe this. She beat me. She’s younger than me.” It was really hard for me to get over. Now looking back, I’m like, “That is amazing. She deserved that. Her dance was better.”

I thought that if I didn’t win a trophy, then I was terrible, I was useless. Now I don’t know where any of my trophies are. They’re so boring.

Kenzie: I did rub it in your face, but I had every right to because it would never happen again. I remember writing on my trophy, “I beat Maddie with this trophy,” and you were so mad, and I was like, “You’re going to beat me next week.”

Maddie: We could not be more different when it comes to dance and our strengths.

Kenzie: You love contemporary. You would die for contemporary, I’m pretty sure. And you look so beautiful doing it. I’m more into hip-hop now.

Maddie: I feel like our strengths in dance [match] our personalities. I’m so sensitive and emotional, so that’s what I gravitate toward, the emotional contemporary dancing. And you can be super sassy. You were always so powerful, so strong when you danced, and hard-hitting. That’s why you’re so good at hip-hop, jazz, gymnastics. That was always your forte.

Kenzie: Not anymore.

Maddie: I’m sure if I asked you to do a standing back tuck right now, you could do it.

Kenzie: Maybe, but I can’t touch my toes. So that’s probably done.

Let’s talk about how I got you into TikTok, because I did, and I’m the only person you follow, which is so nice.

Maddie: It took a very long time for you to convince me to join. I had a fake account just to watch your TikToks. I would also try the dances, but I would just put them in my drafts.

Kenzie: You were telling me, “I will never tell you my TikTok,” [then] you followed my account, and I was like “Why is BonjoviLover...”

But I remember you called me a few months ago, and you were like, “I’ve made a TikTok,” and I was like, “There’s no way.” When I film a TikTok, I film it once, then I post it. I don’t really care what I look like. You did it 10 times and were like, “What do I say? What do I do?” And I was like, “It’s just fun. You can do whatever you want on it.”

Maddie: I didn’t understand. Now I’m better at it. A little bit. But I do love the app, and that is because of you. You are the best TikTokker, without a doubt.

Kenzie: No.

Maddie: You do the best transitions. You do the best dances, but also, like you said, you’ll learn a dance and film it once. You don’t even watch it back; you just post it. You have such a carefree mentality about it, like, “This is me, whether you like it or not.” It’s so amazing.

You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me.

Kenzie: You’re just hyping me up.

I like the app because you can be very real. On Instagram, everyone has to look perfect, and we worry about what we post. But on TikTok, you can post a video with no makeup, straight out of bed, or doing the craziest, stupid stuff, and everyone will think it’s funny or be like, “Oh, I love how authentic you are.” It’s more of a drama-free zone. The other day, you and I filmed that TikTok of us just shimmying in a car, and it was just fun and everyone loved it.

Maddie: People have started to comment way more positive things.

Kenzie: Before you joined, when we would learn dances together on my account, the comments would be like, “Maddie’s better.” And I was like, “OK, we know.” I stopped posting with you because I was like, “This is just so stressful and annoying.” And then I was like, “Whatever, I’m going to post with her again.” And I did, and it was way worse. So then I posted a video and said, “Hey, I know you all think it’s cool to compare us, but I’ve been compared to her my whole life. So if you’re going to comment, just comment something positive.” Now it’s more like, “They dance so well together. They look like they’re having so much fun.” I think people understand now that we don’t do it to compete.

Maddie: Exactly. We do it for fun.

Is there any good advice I’ve given you over the years, as an older sister?

Kenzie: You’ve definitely helped me realize, in relationships, that I can’t let guys walk all over me. Now I don’t do that at all, but you saw it firsthand, and you were so angry about it, and I totally shut you out. I was like, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Then I really thought about it, and I was like, she’s right. Every time you’ve been right.

Maddie: I was like, “I think he’s using you,” but you’re blinded when you’re in the middle of a relationship. Eventually you understood. I knew you would. It’s one of those things where even if I told you a million times, you had to figure it out yourself.

I think as much as I’m a people-pleaser and you stand up for yourself, in relationships you’re a people-pleaser, too. We both want to make everyone happy around us. We don’t want to stir the pot. That’s how Mom is, too. Our whole family.

Kenzie: It’s a blessing and a curse.

Maddie: It is. But I’m really happy we’ve both gotten to a point in relationships where we’re comfortable voicing our opinion without worrying we’re going to hurt someone’s feelings.

Kenzie: And we can talk to each other. When I was younger, I wouldn’t tell you a lot of things, because I thought you would either tattle on me or tell me I was doing something wrong. I’m glad we’re older and more mature. We don’t live together anymore, which is sad, but now we’re best friends.

Maddie: I was thinking about that the other day, when we were in the car together crying-laughing. Usually we’d be screaming at each other, and now we’re having so much fun.

Kenzie: What’s your least favorite thing about me? I’m just curious.

Maddie: I can’t think of anything.

Kenzie: There’s something.

Maddie: How impatient you are. If I don’t do something you asked for straight away, you’re so mad.

Kenzie: My answer ties in with that.

Maddie: What is it? I take too long?

Kenzie: No, it’s how you zone out. I’ll be like, “Hey, Maddie, can you take pictures of me for this?” And you’re just not answering. I’ll be like, “Maddie.” And you’ll be like, “What?” And I’ll say, “What did I ask you?” And you’re like, “I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.”

Maddie: It’s not personal. I do it to everyone. I’m very distracted.

Oh, I have a question. I moved into this apartment and have a guest room all nice for Kenzie, and she never comes over. Why?

Kenzie: You know why I don’t come over.

Maddie: Because you can’t drive. Get an Uber.

Kenzie: I’m not allowed to Uber anymore. Mom just says, “Don’t Uber. It’s scary.” But another reason is, “Hmm, do I want to go over to Maddie’s and she’s going to fall asleep at nine o’clock?”

Maddie: Remember when we had a sleepover and started watching TV, and you were like, “You’re not going to fall asleep now, right?” And I was like, “Definitely not.” And I was out.

Kenzie: You’re a grandma, fully.

Maddie: Sorry, this is so random, but do I have to pick you up today?

Kenzie: Yes.

Maddie: I have to take this girl everywhere.

Kenzie: Getting my license in a week. Just wait.

Top Image Credits: On Kenzie: Louis Vuitton clothing and shoes, Jennifer Fisher earrings, Talent’s own earrings; On Maddie: Chanel clothing, bracelet, and belt, Lizzie Fortunato earrings, Mejuri rings, Free People socks, Dr. Martens boots

Photographer: Paley Fairman

Stylist: Tiffany Reid

Hair: Danielle Priano

Makeup: Tonya Brewer

Manicure: Emi Kudo & Thuy Nguyen

Set Designer: Bette Adams

Bookings: Special Projects

Videographer: Sam Miron

Get More Dating Advice Here

[fearofyoongi-blog]

Oblivious To My Dreams

[ Infinity’s Answers pt. 1 ]

tags: college au, youtuber taehyung, dancer jimin, 

dancer jungkook, new york city, yoonmin, eventual taekook

main character: kim taehyung

word count: 2854

read chapter two HERE  author note: sorry this took so long to come out! and i also would like to apologize for the length. it isn’t as long as my other chapters because I decided to make this two parts. i hope you enjoy and are still interested in reading. i think it’s about to get good.

Two weeks after the release of Yoongi's song were absolute hell. Taehyung had so much fun on the project that going about his regular life felt like a nightmare. Gone was a reserved homebody. Out emerged this nightingale lusting for the sun. The college student so close to graduating was learning in a different way. Now he was leaving his apartment more. Now he had a friend other than Jimin. Even the followers of Taehyung’s social media commented on his newfound confidence. His last YouTube video feature new vinyls. All which recommended by Yoongi himself. Tae’s subscribers seemed surprised by his music taste.

As he sat in front of his computer today, the guy found himself grinning ear-to-ear. The video he was hoping to publish on his channel was very special to him. Yoongi allowed Jimin to record Taheyung and their music making process. This was a big deal for Taehyung. Not only will this be his musical debut, but it was igniting a fire inside. A fire he didn’t know lingered and lulled. Jimin offered whatever cinematography skills he had and assisted Taehyung. It followed Yoongi and him in their creative process, which led up to their collaboration’s debut.

Finally Tae was able to to publish the small documentary through his YouTube page. No wonder he was smiling so wide. There was something different about him, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Jimin said it had something to do with discovering this new creative outlet. On the contrary, Yoongi suggested that this process was similar to falling in love. Nonetheless Taehyung bit his lip as he posted the video without hesitation. Proud of the editing, of the work Jimin did for him, of himself. There had already been buzz on social media about the project, so this video felt like icing on the cake. It was a ribbon on a present.

As he leaned back in his chair, he could sense a presence behind him. The smirk on his features faded as he spun around. The one he offered, instead, oozed of a greeting. Jimin returned the smile and folded his arms. “Is it done?” His roommate asked whilst cocking his chin at the computer. “The video, is it posted?” Taehyung didn’t blame the other for being eager. Their anticipation begun last week. They both waited to show the world their project. This would be Jimin’s cameraman debut as well.

Tae offered a nod before rising from the chair. “It’s up. It’s weird, isn’t it? Feeling nervous?” To which Jimin shook his head in disagreement. “You’re right it’s not weird. I mean, this whole thing feels weird. Yoongi releasing the song and now showing this behind-the-scenes-esque documentary. It’s overwhelming.” Not to mention Taehyung had been dealing with finals throughout these two weeks. Both he and Jimin saw less of each other, because of that. When they did meet up, they would meet halfway at Yoongi's studio. Remembering that made him feel guilty for a moment. Yet judging by Jimin’s proud grin, it was easy to assume that the other wasn’t upset.

“Oh, that makes me nervous to say what I came here to say,” Jimin hesitated to stay as he pushed his palm up to his face. Tae almost did not realize that his friend was blushing. It caused him to make a confused face before Jimin spoke again. “I have-- We have something you should see.” His roommate finished as he pointed to the living room with his head. “Yoongi is here.”

“Yoongi is here?” Taehyung felt surprised by that. The project was finish, and he didn't have a reason to see Yoongi as much. Jimin and Yoongi continued to date, but invited Tae along. He agreed every now and again, but rarely. He never once felt like a third wheel. The three of them would chat and hang out like best friends. Once or twice, he and his roommate’s boyfriend had lunch or made dinner in the apartment. Well, Taehyung was no chef himself, but he discovered Yoongi’s hidden talent in the kitchen. It made him consider Jimin lucky.

Without hesitation, Tae followed his friend to the living room. His smile shining even brighter as he discovered Yoongi sitting on the couch. A part of him felt dread boiling in the pit of his stomach. The apartment wasn’t tidy, at all. Neither him nor Jimin were neat-freaks in any case. Their jackets tossed over the leather couch as well as socks and sneakers. It was embarrassing to admit that they scattered their clothes on their wooden floor. Trying not to feel humiliated by their common room’s messiness, Taehyung walked over to the couch. He placed his fists against the edge and leaned over it to greet the other guy. “Yoongi, what’re you doing here?”

Jimin and Yoongi locked eyes and smirked at each other. There was a sense of fondness at first, which Taehyung found normal. Yet something else lingered in their gaze. A different kind of fondness. Yoongi spoke up when Jimin nodded at him. It was then that Taehyung’s eyes landed on the laptop in Yoongi’s lap. He recognized it with confidence since he has seen it in the studio on many occasions. “You need to see something,” Yoongi then passed him the laptop. The first thing Taehyung noticed was that his friend was on YouTube. Next, he noticed the boy on the screen.

Taehyung’s heart must have stopped, because his jaw slacked in awe. It was hard to breathe as he tried to speak. “Is that--” He couldn’t bring himself to say Jungkook’s name, but he was squealing it in his head. Jimin giggled at the surprise on his face. “That’s him! From the bar!”

“Just press play, Tae,” Jimin said with a sense of eagerness. “Watch it.”

He hesitated. His index finger hovered over the space bar that would start the video in one click. Jungkook’s face was quite large on the video, which is what captured Taehyung’s attention the most. If Jimin and Yoongi weren’t watching, he would have stroked the screen. In spite of how busy he has been, he never once forgot about Jungkook. He never bothered to follow the boy’s dance group on Instagram. Nor did he research to see if Jungkook had a personal social media account. He never took to the idea of internet stalking. Rather than pine over a lost cause, Taehyung held on to possibilities with regret.

Seeing Jungkook’s precious face seemed to ignite his soul once again. Taehyung took a deep breath and bit his lip before hitting the spacebar on Yoongi’s laptop. The video was on, the camera was rolling, and Jungkook seemed ready to put on a show. Taehyung’s lips pushed forward as he also turned up the volume. It was difficult to hear the song playing until the volume was at its max. As Jungkook began to dance, the song started to sound more and more familiar. Taehyung shot his head up at Jimin, then he looked at Yoongi.

“That’s our song,” Tae said under his breath. “He’s dancing to… to our song?”

Yoongi nodded as he adjusted the beanie on his head.

“He’s dancing to your bridge, and into your chorus,” Jimin said to be specific. “He’s dancing to you.” The guy wanted Taehyung to realize what was happening.

Taehyung’s eyes were wide and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Not only was his song played but the boy from the bar was dancing to it. And boy, could he dance. Jungkook matched the melody perfect. He captured the mood of the song without any doubt. When Tae listened to the final piece, he had been uncertain of how he sounded. If anything, he was sure no one would like it. He figured, this was Yoongi’s audience, they weren’t interested in listening to a singer.

That was not the case, at all. When Yoongi posted the audio link, news of the song spread quite fast. Faster than any one of them could expect. Not only that, Taehyung’s subscriber count increased in a few short days. As well as his followers on Instagram and Twitter. This song was a huge success for Yoongi. So Taehyung understood why this was a big deal. Jungkook was a part of a popular, well known, group and this exposure meant a lot to the music producer.

Even so, Yoongi was sensitive enough to notice how big of a deal this would be for Jungkook to play this song. To be more specific, Taehyung’s part. Yoongi was nice enough to bring his whole laptop over so that Taehyung could watch the video. As opposed to sending a link and making Taehyung deal with this news alone. The sentiment meant a lot of him, actually, but he was too overwhelmed with his feelings to touch on the subject.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you found who you were looking for anyway?” Jimin said, as the video came to an end. Taehyung didn’t realize that it did. So immersed in the boy’s dancing that he forgot to pay attention. “I could’ve helped you find him, like for real.”

Taehyung gulped before glancing over to Jimin. “Because it’s nothing,” He said at first. “Or at least I thought it would be nothing.” Which was the truth.

“Yeah, clearly it’s not nothing. I mean, this is a call out, you know that, right?” Jimin replied.

“Well, we don’t know that,” Yoongi attempted to reason. “It could still be a coincidence. Either way, you should reach out.”

“Me? Why me?” Taehyung seemed alarmed by the suggestion, evening pushing his palm to his chest.

“To thank him.” Yoongi answered.

“To talk to him,” Jimin then added. “Maybe it isn’t a call out, but this feels calculated, doesn’t it? He knows who you are now. I mean, if I were him, and I met you? I would look for you. And when I found you, I would pull this stunt.”

Even if Yoongi hadn’t agreed with Jimin’s accusation at first, the music producer was nodding now. Taehyung felt barricaded by this suggestion though. “And… How am I supposed to find him? This is still linked to their dance group’s channel,” He explained, pointing at the laptop.

Jimin moved closer and pointed as well, daring Taehyung to find another excuse. “They link his personal Twitter and Instagram in the description.” A groan escaped Tae afterward. “Follow him and message him!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Taehyung asked, seeming naive, which caused Jimin to groan.

“Why are you acting like this? You never act like this,” He seemed impatient with Taehyung. “You’re always the first one to approach people you want to befriend! The night I met Yoongi, I even kept you in mind! I thought, what would Tae tell me to do?”  Jimin slapped his hand down to his thigh as scoffed. “You don’t need to be shy about this. He is clearly calling for you.”

“You can thank him for featuring your song on his channel. That video alone garnered sixteen thousand views in four hours. They offered a click-through link to my SoundCloud and my plays have gone up as well.” Yoongi managed to chime in, hoping to reduce some of the passion in Jimin. Taehyung believed they were a well balanced couple. Hearing this offer made him smile. “I would do it myself, but he didn’t use my verse. If he used my verse, I would have thanked him. He didn’t though, he used yours. Which, in my opinion, signifies that he wants to speak to you.”

A pained expression plastered his face. Taehyung was certain Yoongi was saying the exact same suggestion, only nicer. For a few seconds, he stared back at Yoongi. At some point in the few weeks they had hung out, the two began communicating with their eyes. Similar to what Tae did with Jimin. Whenever he wanted Yoongi to crack a smile or accept a cheesy joke, they would stare at each other. It would always end in Tae’s favor.

The staredown ended when Yoongi broke away to look at Jimin. Taehyung’s eyes followed and it did not take him long to realize Jimin was glaring at him. Clearing his throat, Taehyung looked back down at the laptop and sighed through his nose. Jimin was the first one to break the silence. “Don’t overthink this,” He said with less desire to convince Taehyung of what to do. “We gave you this hoping you would be happy to talk to him. If you’re not, then fine, don’t contact him.”

The air between the three became thin and awkward. Taehyung tucked his lips into his mouth while Yoongi stared down at his hands. A few seconds later, Jimin broke away from the social triangle and headed to his room. That jealousy hadn’t gone away for some reason. It started from Yoongi’s offer to feature Taehyung on his song, and manifested as the two became friends. As happy as Tae was to make a new friend, it was obvious that this was starting to bother Jimin.

Taehyung and Yoongi had discussed Jimin’s fits of jealousy before. As well as his failed attempts at keeping them hidden. This time, though, neither said anything. Yoongi waited in silence as Taehyung pulled out his phone. The college student took his time deciding whether to follow Jungkook on Instagram. When he followed his instinct. When he looked back to the other, Yoongi pulled his laptop away and closed it.

He watched the music producer pack his laptop away and get up from the couch. Taehyung thought the other would go to Jimin’s room, but no. Yoongi headed to the door.

“You’re not going to say goodbye?” Taehyung asked aloud, catching Yoongi mid-stride. When the other turned back toward him, he continued. “To Jimin, I mean. You’re going to leave without saying goodbye?” Yoongi remained quiet, leaving the floor open to Tae. “You know, you don’t have to say goodbye, if you don’t want to.”

He could see Yoongi gnawing on his bottom lip from afar. There was short pause before the other spoke up. Tae could tell his friend was becoming shy by this. Kicking the floor with his Vans. Yoongi pushed his tongue past his lips to swipe over them as he thought. When their gazes met again, Tae tilted his head. He waited for Yoongi to answer him. “What am I supposed to do when he gets like that?”

“Reassure him that he doesn’t have to feel this way,” Taehyung answered without hesitation. “Leaving doesn’t help. It only makes it worse, you know.”

Yoongi and Jimin were a well-balanced couple. Sure, in some ways they were complete opposites. Taehyung felt like he had seen many sides of them. He liked to see his best friend happy, there was no doubt in his mind about that. Yet at times he could sense Yoongi’s uneasiness. The closer he became to the music producer, he learned more about his personality. For one, Yoongi was much more quiet than Jimin. So he understood why Yoongi was choosing to leave as opposed to staying. It was much easier to walk away than stay.

“He knows that he isn’t supposed to feel this way. At least give him a reason to keep telling himself not to.” Taehyung added as he heaved a sigh, tilting his head toward Jimin’s door.

“What am I supposed to say?”

The question made Taehyung chuckle. Yoongi’s brows creased as he did. “Maybe he doesn’t need to hear anything. Maybe he has a lot more to say. You know how Jimin is. Let him take the lead and go from there.” He offered the advice as calm as he could, hoping not to scare Yoongi away. “Just be there for him.”

With an agreeing nod, Yoongi realized how wrong he was for wanting to leave. He started to walk again, this time in the direction of Jimin’s bedroom. Taehyung smiled to himself as the music producer passed him. Yoongi placed light pats on his shoulder as he did. “He’s right though, you know. Jimin? He’s right. It’s a call out. Jungkook is calling you out. So answer him.”

Taehyung parted his lips to speak, to disagree again, but Yoongi was too far away now. Not that it bothered him. At least Yoongi was going back to Jimin and not his own apartment. Without realizing he had been clutching his phone to his heart, he peered down and stared at the screen. Jungkook’s account was still open and ready to assist Taehyung and reuniting with the guy from the bar.

[sarahwroteathing]

S-Z? If i can ask that many 😂😂 if not, pick your favorites

You can ask as many as you want, dear! 

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Plenty! Of course, I love fake relationships. Who doesn’t? Secret relationships are also amazing, and I feel like I don’t see them as much. And some good ole meddling/matchmaking. I love all sorts of tropes, but those are the ones that are coming to mind right now! 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Oohhhhhh, yes... Ask Aubrey how often I’ve talked about this. Please keep in mind I have no one particular fic or author in mind when I say the following, and I hold nothing against you if you have written something along these lines. I acknowledge people have different tastes. 

I personally really, really can’t get behind fics that pit Steve and Bucky against each other. I just can’t. If it’s an AU, sometimes I can get past it, but for the most part it really bothers me. Particularly when there’s cheating involved. I just can’t imagine either of them cheating with/romancing their best friend’s girl. As selfless as they are, and as much as they love each other, I just can’t fathom that being a viable plot device. But to each their own. I don’t like it, so I don��t read it. 

U:Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Ugggghhhh this one is hard. I kinda want to skip it. Because I really don’t have favorites? Mostly because the amount of time I have to read other people’s fics is so limited that my reading patterns are very scattered and mostly on a whatever I see first basis. I have trouble keeping track of which writers wrote what. Very often I’ll look at someone’s masterlist and go WHAT SHE WROTE THAT NO WAY I THOUGHT THAT WAS SOMEONE ELSE! 

Every writer I read is so good, and so unique. I don’t know how to choose! So I’m going to plead the fifth on this one. But if you want to send me a specific writer, I will gladly tell you why I like them. And if I’m not familiar with their writing, then I’ll happily get acquainted with it before answering. 

V:If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Uuuuuummm... I don’t think I would. Just because like... even if I want more of something, I can never imagine putting myself in the role of the original writer. You know? It’s their world, their characters or interpretations/versions of characters, and I’m not familiar enough with them to feel that I could step in. Honestly, I can never/ never try to guess the path of any fic I read because everyone writes so differently, even if they’re using a common trope. And I think that’s an amazing, wonderful thing. So yeah, I don’t think I would ever even feel that urge.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Usually more specific because if someone is asking me to write something for them, I need to know exactly what they want. I don’t want anyone to ever have something specific in mind that they want me to write only to have me misinterpret because there wasn’t enough definitive information. I don’t mind general prompts if it’s a concept or a feeling or a song fic that you’re after, but it bothers me when I get a prompt that is just “_____ x reader” and that’s it. I need more to work with than that, you know? Especially if it’s a character I don’t write often or am not very familiar with.  

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Oh, dear... None of them really? I actively apologize while writing if I’m making a character sad. It can be kind of satisfying to make you guys freak out though, if that counts. I find it immensely gratifying when I can make someone feel something.  

Y: A character you want to protect

All of them? All of them. But for the purposes of being succinct and because I feel like these two don’t get enough love and protection on this website: Tony and Bruce. I feel like everyone else has got it under control, although I’ll happily protect each and every one of them. They all need hugs and blankets and good sleep.

Z:Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

I read it occasionally? When I’m familiar with the writer it’s coming from and trust them. But I don’t read it very often. I... have played with the idea of writing it, and have with my original works many times, but with the MCU babes that must be protected at all costs? That’s harder for me. Maybe I’ll get there one day, but probably not because I swear to you on my life I will never leave you with an unhappy ending. Ever. It’ll be a “and they lived happily ever after” from me every last time. You have my word on that.