#also I liked pretty much everything else I saw about the trailer. he is unbelievably sexy he is so hot I am a gay gay person

[giantkillerjack]

Me and my wife: *hang out for 6 hours and stay up til midnight talking about our favorite things*

My wife: *leaves to shower and go to bed*

Me, 2 minutes later: *picks up phone to text her about the new movie trailer I just watched*

[mymoonagedaydream]

Only the Good Die Young (Part 7)

Summary: There were just a few more hoops you had to jump through before you and Bucky could be happy

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Language, anti-religious sentiment, harmful relationship with parents, smut references

Author's Note: This is the Time. It’s always the time for Billy Joel. No, I haven’t taken this too far. If anything, I haven’t taken this far enough. You’ll see. You’ll all see.

This part is dedicated to the anon message I got earlier which simply read ‘UPDATE OTGDY ITS SO GOOD’, cause the mix of affection and vaguely threatening demand absolutely made my day. I love you, whoever you are. 

---

You spent the whole next day researching places you could move to. Something small, cosy and close to the beach would’ve been ideal, but anything a significant distance away with four walls and a roof would do. 

You tried to get some preferences out of Bucky, but he insisted that he wasn’t picky, and that he’d be happy as long as you were. 

When he got back from work you cornered him in the kitchen, enthusiastically telling him about everything you’d found. He’d had a pretty long day, but your excitement seemed to cheer him up a bit. 

Not long afterwards, the two of you were curled up on the couch, flicking through beautiful, unbelievably expensive beachfront properties and dreaming about the kind of future in which you could afford them.

Your current situation, however, was presenting issues of its own- the most pressing one being that most of your belongings were still at your parents’ house. 

There was a vague plan in your head for how you were going to retrieve them but, in all honesty, you were really trying not to think too much about it. You had a terrible tendency to overthink, and doing that would only cause you to put it off for longer.

Unfortunately, you’d completely forgotten to tell Bucky all this, so he decided to bring it up casually while you were doing the dishes.

‘So, when are we paying your folks a visit?’

‘We’re not.’ He flung the dish cloth over his shoulder and shot you a confused frown. ‘I still have a key, so I was thinking we’d sneak over on Sunday morning while they’re at church.’

‘Damn, that’s a shame. I’d really like to get to know them better.’

‘You’re such an ass.’ You grabbed a handful of soap bubbles and blew them at him, laughing as he tried to protect his hair. ‘They’d only call the cops on you anyway.’ 

‘That’s half the fun of it.’

You spun round and playfully pointed your finger at him. ‘I thought we’d established that I am not cut out for being a prison girlfriend. For one, I couldn’t pull off the juicy couture tracksuit.’

A mischievous smile spread across his face. ‘Oh you definitely could.’

---

Sunday came around a little too fast for your liking. 

The two of you walked to your parents’ house, but only after you’d taken an unbelievably long time convincing Bucky that he wouldn’t be able to strap two suitcases to the back of his bike. 

He’d also suggested towing them on their castors, like trailers. 

You were moving in with this man.

The closer you got, the tighter your grip on Bucky’s hand became. When the house came into view and you saw that the car was gone, you calmed down a little, but still stayed extremely cautious in your approach.  

As long as you’d been alive they’d never missed Sunday mass, however, by this point, you’d completely given up trying to predict their behaviour. You wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d both stuffed themselves into the mailbox, waiting to jump out at you.

With the coast seemingly clear, you unlocked the house and scurried inside.

Bucky stepped through the door and immediately couldn’t hold in his laughter. You weren’t sure if it was all the crucifixes, the bible quote plaques on the kitchen wall or the plastic coated sofa cushions, but he was endlessly amused. 

After letting him have his fun for a while, you gestured for him to follow you upstairs. Reaching your bedroom door, you turned to warn him about how your mother’s taste had inexplicably worsened while decorating in there, but he’d disappeared. 

You heard faint chuckling coming from your parents’ bedroom. 

Rolling your eyes and huffing, you trudged through to see him holding their bedside bible, flicking through it amusedly. 

‘What are you doing Buck?’

‘I’m trying to find the bit where it tells you which sex positions are god-approved.’ 

He caught you off guard, making you burst out laughing. Your mother would absolutely flip her shit if she found out Bucky had been in her bedroom, but knowing that made you much less likely to drag him out. 

‘Try Leviticus.’ You strolled over and rested your chin on his shoulder. ‘That’s where all the weird stuff is.’ 

He raised a cheeky eyebrow and started skimming faster through the book, stopping occasionally to read a few lines, feign disappointment at the content, and rip the page out. You tried to grab it from him, but he moved it just out of your reach and carried on.

‘Oh here it is.’ Still holding the book with one hand, he suddenly grabbed you round the waist with his other arm and pushed you onto your parents’ bed, climbing on top of you. ‘Let’s give some of these a try.’

You laughed as he threw the bible onto the floor and started kissing down your neck. Brushing your hand over his hair, you almost got lost in the moment, before remembering how little time you had before your parents got back. 

‘We really don’t have time for this Buck.’

‘We always have time for something that’ll piss your mom off.’ 

You shoved his shoulders playfully, making him reluctantly push himself back onto his feet and pull you up after him. 

The two of you walked through to your room, leaving the bed sheets messed up and bible pages scattered all over the floor. You didn’t mind her thinking something had happened, even though it hadn’t. You just wished you could’ve seen the look on her face. 

Time was ticking but, thankfully, you’d never had the chance to properly unpack anyway. All you really had to do was grab one or two things and zip your suitcases back up. 

‘Jesus Christ, are your clothes made of lead?’ Bucky’s only job was to help carry the cases downstairs, yet he still found cause for complaint.

‘Oh that one is mainly textbooks. That’s why you’re carrying it.’

He frowned, still bent double, dragging the suitcase into the hallway. ‘Can’t you just leave those here? You’re not gonna need them.’

‘I know, but my parents paid for them, and I’m gonna resell them. Will probably fetch a decent chunk of our first month’s rent.’ 

He stood up straight and gave you a proud smile. ‘I knew there was a reason I liked you.’

He disappeared down the hallway as you finished gathering your last few things. You zipped up the second case and rolled it out of your bedroom, endlessly relieved thinking about how you never had to come back here. 

Even if your current plans didn’t work out, you were determined that this severing of ties was permanent. 

As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you saw Bucky on the sidewalk outside, sitting on your suitcase and lighting a cigarette. He looked up towards you, but his attention was immediately caught by something else, making his face drop. You stepped through the door and followed his gaze. 

It was your parents’ car, pulling up on the driveway. 

They must’ve left church early. Of course that’d happen on the one day you really needed it not to. 

You tried to come up with some course of action, but all that was going through your mind was fuckshitfuck. 

You heard the fast clicking of heels against stone and your mother appeared from behind the car, storming towards Bucky with her usual venomous expression. 

‘Get off of my property.’

He looked down. ‘Um, I’m pretty sure this is a sidewalk.’

You yanked your suitcase over the threshold and slammed the door behind you, drawing her attention.

‘What do you think you’re doing?’ She screeched, probably waking up every baby within a five-mile-radius.

You didn’t respond, marching away from the house as fast as possible and keeping your gaze fixed on the ground. Before you reached the sidewalk, you felt a hand grip your arm tight and yank you back, almost pulling you off your feet. You turned round to see your father, looking like he was ready to kill someone. 

Before you could really process what was happening, Bucky had planted himself in front of you, giving your father’s shoulders an almighty shove. Your arm was released as they squared up to each other, your mother in the wings encouraging her husband to start throwing punches- cause that’s what good Catholics do. 

Then something happened that you wouldn’t have predicted in a million years. 

Bucky walked away. 

He reached for your hand and led you back to the sidewalk, grabbing the other suitcase without breaking stride. The two of you hustled away from the house as fast as you could, not looking back or responding to anything shouted after you. 

Despite what’d just happened, you couldn’t help but crack a smile. You’d never seen him walk away from a fight on his own before. 

---

The walk home was quiet once your parents’ voices had faded into the distance. You kept glancing over to see if he looked angry, but he seemed alright. 

Was this… progress?

When you got home, Bucky dragged your suitcases into the middle of the front room and unzipped them both. By the time you’d made it through the apartment door, your clothes were littered all over the place and he was wearing a pair of your best underwear stretched over his jeans.

‘I like these.’

You were pretty shocked at how good a mood he seemed to be in, but you weren’t about to question it.

‘It’s a shame you’ve stretched them beyond all recognition, then.’

You chased him round, trying to yank them off him for a while, but he was a slippery little fucker when he wanted to be. 

You debated properly unpacking all your clothes, eventually figuring that you were moving soon anyway, so there was really no point. 

So, your overflowing suitcases ended up piled in the corner, and you and Bucky ended up tangled together on the couch for the next couple hours. It was so nice just being able to relax and decompress after such a shitty situation, usually you’d just be arguing or cleaning his wounds. 

You were almost at the point of nodding off, when Buck unceremoniously jolted you back awake by jumping up and proclaiming his next great idea.

‘Alright, there’s gotta be somewhere nice in this stinking town. I’m gonna take you out on a proper date.’

‘Yeah?’ A warm, sleepy smile spread across your face. 

‘Yeah.’ He lifted you off the couch and threw you over his shoulder. ‘C’mon let’s get you dressed.’ 

You dug around for something nice, half-dreading what Bucky had planned for the evening. He was great in so many ways, but you were struggling to forget that the last time he took you for a night out, he ended up leaving in a cop car.

---

You kept trying to guess your destination from the route Bucky was taking you, but you came up with nothing. The only time you’d been to this part of town was when you were fourteen and your dad brought you to help collect a life-size, wooden virgin Mary statue that he’d bought from a seedy guy at church. 

Sometimes you wondered if your childhood was actually just a series of really vivid fever dreams...

Bucky pulled you into his side as you were walking. ‘We’re nearly there.’ 

‘If this is another dive bar I swear to god-’

‘You think so little of me.’ You raised an unamused eyebrow. ‘Yeah, fair enough.’

You turned the corner, and almost had to double-take. It was a little Italian restaurant, tucked between some vague office buildings but lit up like a golden Christmas tree. It looked like it couldn’t seat more than ten people, but that just added to its charm. Bucky led you inside and the waiter sat you at a little table in the corner. 

He’d really nailed it, the place was beautiful.

You both ordered and sat in comfortable silence for a minute, taking in your surroundings. Maybe it was more than a minute, you weren’t too sure, you’d gotten a little lost in your thoughts.

‘What’s up?’ Bucky snapped you back to reality. ‘That’s your deep thinking face.’

‘I dunno, it’s just... I keep forgetting that we’ve only properly known each other for a few weeks. It feels like we’ve lived through a lifetime.’

He leant back, smirking a little as he thought about it. ‘I guess someday we’ll look back and have to laugh.’

‘Someday?’

‘Oh yeah. I've got plans for you.’

You smirked and narrowed your eyes a little, leaning towards him and whispering ‘I know it probably wasn’t intentional, but that sounded vaguely threatening.’

He chuckled into his glass, wincing slightly before swallowing the wine. You told him you really wouldn’t mind him sticking to beer, but he insisted that he wanted to go the whole hog with this fancy dinner-date. It was just a shame that the bottle he’d ordered completely at random ended up tasting like ass, bless him.

You’d been meaning to bring up what’d happened earlier on the walk over, but you’d struggled to find the right moment or to come up with wording that wasn’t unbelievably patronising. 

Well done for not punching my dad by the way, really proud of you kiddo. 

‘I also wanted to say.’ Here goes nothing. ‘What you did today, I really appreciated it.’

‘What, wearing your underwear?’

You gave him a playful scowl before smiling and reaching over the table, placing your hands on his. 

‘I know sometimes you struggle to control this self-destructive streak, but you walked away from a fight today. I’ve never seen you do that before, it really meant a lot.’

His smile slowly dropped. Shit, had you upset him? That was about as diplomatically as you could have worded it. Maybe you should’ve just kept quiet. 

‘It hardly makes up for all the other times, though.’ His eyes flicked away from yours, moving down to stare at your hands. ‘Y’know, before you came back, the stuff I did… it was some kind of miracle that I survived.’

‘Don’t say that.’

‘It’s true. It was more than a self-destructive streak, I really just had nothing to live for.’ 

Jesus, that knocked you back. You felt like you’d been winded. The worst part was that he didn’t even look upset, he’d just fallen into this heart-breaking expression of sunken acceptance.

You squeezed his hands hard. ‘Things are good now, that’s what matters.’ 

He nodded, looking back up at you and forcing a smile. 

Now more than ever, you realised how important it was for you two get away from this town and start again. Maybe it wouldn’t be enough to completely disconnect him from the guilt of his past, but it would at least make it all seem a little further away.

You just knew that you were desperate to help him, and you were willing to try anything. 

---

Part 8

---

@shawnie--jo @brilliantbellesoares @livingoffsavvyillusions @noiralei @bebeyeni @kingkassam @newyorkgoddess @sir-lili @im-squished @dancer3205 @thefallenbibliophilequote @supernaturalwintersoldier @adriannajackson

---

[rosesvioletshardy]

life as we know it - b.h. chapter 9

this chapter is shit that’s pretty much all i can say i didn’t know what else to write about also let’s pretend that some of it is accurate because the sources online didn’t really help with this. i also did have more roger and brian in this but i didn’t like the way it was written

i also went to a protest in my city so that’s why it’s bad as well because i was focused on other things rather than this, thankfully my friends and i were able to get ourselves and some others out as soon as they started teargassing so if y’all are out protesting as well please stay safe

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to ben and y/n to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges that come with it

# of words: 3,067 (little shorter this time)

warnings: none?

taglist: @myfatbottomedgirls​, @evemarie05, @suckerfor-fanfics​

--

“she’s never going to walk” 

ben and y/n kept encouraging charlie to walk and she wasn’t. every time they tried standing her up, she would either just stand there or fall back down and go back to playing with whatever was within arms reach. now they were sitting in the middle of the room trying to get her to start walking.

“she will. she just needs time. what time did you say we need to be there?” she asked

ben was going to be taking y/n and charlie to the set for the first time since he pretty much bragged about how amazing it looked and told her they needed to see it. ben still hasn’t told the rest of the cast and his new best friends that he pretty much had a daughter now and the whole situation but sort of hinted at it and they were going to figure it out

“charlie still hasn’t even said her first word and she’s almost 1 years old. she gets to be more like christian every single day. she babbles all the time but won’t say an actual word when it comes to it. and he was a lawyer!” he said before crossing his arms like a child defeated 

“we need to be there in an hour. is her bag packed?” he finished

“Yeah i’m going to finish getting ready. please don’t pressure her ben.” she told him kissing charlie’s head and leaving

ben tried one more time and stood charlie up and tried to get her to walk by demonstrating the basics of walking

“look ’s not that hard. you put one foot in front of the other and repeat the process” ben told her trying to show her standing up and walking

charlie just stared at him like he was from another planet and ben completely gave up and sighed

“you’re stubborn like your dad” he said picking her up and grabbing her bag

“Y/N HURRY UP WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW!”

“I’M COMING!” she yelled back walking back down the stairs

y/n put charlie in her car seat while ben was putting her stroller in the trunk just in case they needed it but brought the baby sling for easier use. the ride to the set was quiet with the occasional noise that came from charlie’s toy or her music playing on the radio. it was only moments before ben spoke up 

“when are you going to break up with him?”

“soon. his birthday is in a week and i made reservations for the night. I’ll do it then”

“i just want the best for you just know that”

“i know and i want the same for you”

“are we going to be able to do this” she asked looking at him worried while fidgeting with her fingers

“yeah, i believe in us.” he told her looking back at her

the rest of the ride was quiet until they came onto the set for live aid. ben made sure that everyone knew who y/n and charlie were and that they didn’t get kicked out. he took them to his trailer and told them to wait while he went to the makeup trailer to get ready. she had set up a small place for charlie to play. after a few minutes and a cup of coffee later, someone had entered his trailer. thinking it was ben, she walked up to the door, but stopped dead in her tracks and ended up meeting someone who wasn’t ben. 

“hey be- you’re not ben” he asked

“and you’re not ben either” 

“i’m joe. it’s nice to meet you.” joe said with his hand out

y/n now recognized him, she’s seen a few of his movies and saw the similarities between his and john deacon

“y/n. and this is charlotte, or charlie. our goddaughter.”

“yeah i’ve heard him talk about you guys. i’m really sorry about what happened”

“thanks it honestly doesn’t feel real when someone really close to dies.” she said looking down at her hands as charlie handed her a toy

“i know the feeling. but they wouldn’t want us to mope around all the time and we have to move on while still honoring them.” joe said giving her a small hug as ben walked in

“oh good you’ve met. but they need us on set” ben said walking in

y/n had to do a double take when she saw him. Dressed exactly like her childhood crush with a few differences. she had seen the photos of him from the costume fittings before they started filming and it sometimes made her feel some type of way. ben saw her staring and decided to tease her

“so do i look good?” he said as he turned around 

“oh yeah, i would definitely date someone who’s 51 years older than me” she said sarcastically as she picked charlie up and a few of her things so they can leave

as they were walking, she marveled at everything around them. she knew that movie and tv sets were quite large sometimes and filled with people running around to make sure everything was perfect, but seeing it first hand was unbelievable. 

they were standing on the stage where they would be filming as roger was giving ben more tips on how to play the drums. she didn’t really believe that two people from her favorite band were in her presence. Engaging in another conversation with joe, she put charlie down and held her hands above her hand. charlie stood in front of her legs when she let go of her hands and tried to take a step. she looked down to see her taking her first steps and needed to get ben’s attention without interrupting him talking to roger by waving her hands around

“So, is that your girlfriend and daughter?” roger asked

“no-no she isn’t. the baby.” ben tried to stutter out but couldn’t before taking a deep breath

“y/n isn’t my girlfriend and charlie is our goddaughter. her parents died earlier in the year and we were named guardians.”

“you do like her though, correct? she seems like a very nice girl.”

“i do like her-” ben started while staring at her before seeing that charlie was starting to walk

when he noticed it, he started to yell her name by yelling after apologizing to roger and jogging over to where her and joe were

“Sorry roger but Y/N? Y/N! SHE’S WALKING!” ben yelled getting everyone’s attention to see him almost tripping over the wires around him

as ben got to them, everyone started to cheer even though they had no idea what was happening. He picked her up and spun her around while giving kisses all over her face

“you did it! you finally walked! maybe you’re not as stubborn as your father!” he said 

“i’m so proud of her. i told you she needs time and not to pressure her.” she told him as she took charlie from him

“Okay! Everyone in their places? we’re getting set to film” the director yelled out

y/n quickly went off the stage and to the side. she stood and watched them film and watched in awe. she saw the way rami was moving as freddie, gwilym playing as brian, joe dancing like john, and ben playing as roger. she couldn’t stop looking at ben. the way he was keeping focused even though half of it was playback and mumbling along to the beats even if they weren’t exactly playing. 

she was snapped back into reality moments later when charlie hit her face and grabbed her hair, thankfully they weren’t filming when she gave out a small yelp. 

“okay i think it’s time for your nap.”

the day went on until they couldn’t film no more due to it getting late and no more sun was shining. when ben walked back into his trailer, he found her and charlie sleeping peacefully  on the couch. he took a moment to admire the way she was sleeping and how she slept. whenever she slept in a small space she was always clutching something tight to her, but she wasn’t with charlie in case it was too tight. she felt someone staring at her and slowly started to open her eyes to find ben back into his regular clothes and no wig

“take a picture, it’ll last longer. creep.” 

ben could only laugh while she slowly sat up and made sure she didn’t wake the baby up. ben went over to crouched down to where he was her level.

“it’s late, we should go. did you guys eat something?” he asked

“yeah, wasn’t that hungry so i just had one of the snacks i packed and she actually ate her food. how did filming go? you seemed pretty into it and it looked good.”

“did the scene look good or did i look good?” he asked smirking

“you think playing a rockstar wouldn’t get to your ego but it did. never you knew you would become this cocky.” 

“well i thought you’d like it.”

“uh huh. yeah sure. keep dreaming”

“i will” he winked at her causing her to bow her head down to hide the redness from her face

“oh by the way, the guys and lucy are going to be coming over for dinner this weekend. hope that’s alright with you.” he finished

“yeah that’s fine. we also need to figure out something for charlie’s birthday. she’s turning 1 soon. we could invite the neighbors, jack and melissa are going to be coming over. it’s been a while since we’ve seen them. the guys and lucy can come over if they’re not busy as well.”

“yeah. i really wish they were here to see and celebrate. but we can do this.” he told her, taking one of his hands off the wheel and grabbing hers, rubbing his thumb across the area.

the next few days went by quickly as ben continued to film and practice while y/n went to work leaving charlie with a babysitter a few times. the dinner that they were going to host for the cast was stressing her out due to meeting new people and not knowing what to cook after searching millions of recipes. charlie was walking around more often and at one point y/n had to scold ben for walking around just in his underwear drinking beer with charlie doing the same in her diaper and her bottle. 

as ben was finishing getting ready, y/n was making sure every little thing was perfect. she didn’t know why she was anxious about meeting everyone again when she had already met them. she guessed it was because it was going to be a more formal meeting rather than a quick hello and off to filming. she nearly dropped the dishes when she heard the doorbell ring while ben went and opened it.

he guided everyone to the room and did all the introductions. y/n got out glasses and began to pour everyone a glass. as they all sat down, they began talking and making jokes about how filming was going.

“ok, so you mean to tell me, that you told ben that roger actually wanted him to play live and literally scared him thinking he was going to mess up?” she asked

“yeah, he looked like he was about to shit himself when i told him that.” rami told her

“oh my god, i would’ve paid so much money just to see that” she giggled

“alright, alright, what else would you do if someone told you to do something that you didn’t know if you were prepared for?” ben asked before realizing what he said

everyone’s laughter soon died down and ben immediately regretted what he said. gwilym then cleared his throat and asked y/n a question

“so, y/n, how long have you been living here in london?”

“i’ve been living here for about 6 years now. i honestly love it if i’m being honest but there are times where i do miss my family.” she told them taking  sip of her drink

“you own the bakery Eats ‘n’ Treats? Right?” lucy asked

“Yeah i do”

“i thought i recognized you. i love your pies from there, they're really delicious. what do you put in them?”

“i sometimes put just half a teaspoon in them and some of the recipes are actually from my friend tyler and he won’t tell me what he does sometimes.”

“interesting.” 

“well, all i can say is thank you for having us, thank god for a new group of friends and thank god for queen.” joe said raising his glass 

Everyone clinked glasses and continued the night getting to know one another more and eating dinner. lucy and her made arrangements to go shopping when she was done filming her scenes, y/n learned about the bromances ben has with gwilym and joe and thought it was funny. she got to learn about rami more as a person as they talked throughout the night. the rest of the night concluded with ben and y/n cleaning up the dishes. it was quiet between the two besides when they had to talk during dinner. it’s not like ben meant to word his response like that it’s just that sometimes people don’t know how to react to it. they both felt like they were at fault at it. she washed the last dish as ben dried and put it away, but before she could leave, ben quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her into his chest. she wrapped her arms around his body and put her head on his chest as he did the same and put his chin on her head. they stood like that before ben pulled away and took out his phone and began to play soft music and took her hands and began to spin her

“what are you doing?” she asked him confused following his lead

“we are dancing.”

“i can’t dance.” “neither can i, but it’s quiet and we’re alone. so, no one can know how bad of dancers we are. now, take my hands and we can try.”

they continued to dance and as ben spun her, he pulled her back into his chest where she can feel his heart beating softly

“i’m sorry.” she said

“for what? you didn’t say anything that you need to be sorry for.”

“no, i did. ever since we met, i always thought of you as this playboy who never gave a shit about anything, well besides family and friends, but anything fame and fortune related. then whenever i see you with charlie, i regret everything i have ever said.”

ben didn’t know what to say but he knew she meant it and regretted it. he felt the same in a way. when he met y/n for the first time he really thought he could just get her into bed but over the past year he’s got to know her as a person.

“it’s alright. i understand and yeah it does seem like that way when you’re famous but that’s what the media wants to see all the time. if i’m being honest i don’t like it all the time and this past year and the last several months have really changed me. i want to make it up to you. after you break up with sean. we go on a date. a real one. i’ll try and find a day where i’m not filming all day and we’ll go.”

“i think i like that.” 

“you know i haven’t danced since their wedding?” ben told her

“are you joking? i refuse to believe that. i know you had to bust out your moves sometimes between then and now jones.” she told him looking up at him smiling

“okay, i haven’t danced sober since their wedding. what about you?” he asked with a grin on his face

“i dance when i clean. and sometimes when i’m in the shower because why not?”

“wouldn’t you hurt yourself?” ben asked his with a confused look on his face

“yes and no. i did accidentally cut myself while shaving my leg, but other than that i haven’t since i learned my lesson.” she said as they both laughed continuing to sway back and forth

during the same time, they began to gaze at each other's lips and back to the other’s eyes before leaning in as both their hearts started skipping beats. when they kissed, words were no longer needed for each other. it was neither full of lust or flirtatious like the first time they kissed. his teeth began tugging on her lower lip with their lips then disconnecting. their foreheads stayed connected as they both breathed heavily. she could smell the mix of his cologne and the cigarette he smoked a couple of hours before still on him as she put her head on his chest. 

they stayed in the kitchen for a little longer until they heard charlie start whimpering over the baby monitor. they were confused as to why she started to cry seeing that she hasn’t been crying that often and usually only when they try to get her to eat her. she was about to go up when ben stopped her and went up himself. 

“i’ll go, you’ve been taking care of her so much of her already.” he told her kissing her forehead

y/n stayed back and decided to scroll through her phone until she heard something over the  monitor: ben singing. Slowly walking up the stairs, trying not to make noise, she creeped in the bedroom to see ben holding her and singing radio gaga by queen and rocking her as frankie slept by his feet near the rocking chair

“are you singing queen?” she softly giggled while leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms

“what? everyone likes queen.” ben said with a shrug 

“okay well i’m going to go to bed.” she told him

“night.” he tells her after putting charlie back in her crib

in the time of leaving, she was about to leave with ben following her before she turned around and gave him one more kiss

“Night.” she smirked 

ben gave out small breathy laugh as he left the room turning the light off and closing the door halfway 

“she’s going to kill me one day.”

[crazy-little-cool-cat]

Hand in Glove - Chapter 27 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: ask game is ON until Sunday. While I’m writing, please send asks for the characters. Not only do I love your questions, it helps me stay in the zone. Also, updated my writing playlist because some songs needed to be added and I do what I want. 

Warnings: Slight/implied smut, shit gets a bit weird, nothing unusual.

Word Count: Less than 4K, which is lovely, because I seriously thought this chapter is like a standalone novel. 

Chapter 1, Chapter 2,  Chapter 3,  Chapter 4,  Chapter 5,  Chapter 6,  Chapter 7,  Chapter 8,  Chapter 9,  Chapter 10,  Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22 , Chapter 23 , Chapter 24, Chapter 25 , Chapter 26

"Fiercely and forever, Jones."

Ben and Annie leaned into each other, their foreheads pressed together. Annie sat in Ben's lap, one hand wrapped around the column of his neck, the other around his broad shoulders. Rocking them both back and forth, Ben let out the most confusing noise - something between a sob and a laugh.

"I don't even have an engagement ring to give you."

"I don't want one." Annie opened her eyes and looked at him through her lashes,close-up. The reality of what had just happened settling in. "I don't want a wedding."

Ben's eyes opened and stared into her own. "Come again?"

"I don't want this to be a big deal." Annie didn't break eye-contact. "I don't want people to know we're doing this."

"So no one's allowed to know we're getting married, then?" Ben leaned back, his arms relaxing around Annie. "Why?"

"It's nobody's business."

"I'm pretty sure our friends and families will want to celebrate this." Ben scoffed.

"I don't give a flying fuck, actually." Annie shrugged. "They're not doing this. We are."

"Are you sure about that?"

"About what?" Annie raised an eyebrow.

"That we're doing this. It doesn't sound like we're doing this." Ben started to push Annie off him but she clung on. "Are you ashamed of our relationship or something?"

"Of course not."

"So you just don't want people to know we're doing this?" Ben was incredulous. "For no reason? Just because?"

"If people know," Annie started, carefully choosing her words, "if they're involved - if they're invested in it - and this all falls apart, just imagine how much fun they'll have watching us crash and burn."

"Huh." Ben bit the inside of his cheek. "So, what, we elope? Tell no one? You won't take my name?"

"We'll get legally married. No big, fancy event. No tux and wedding gown." Annie explained. "No invitations. No paps. Just us."

"So we'll be the only ones to know we're married?"

"Well, no. We could tell family and friends after the fact." Annie shrugged. "We can exchange rings if you want. I'll take your name. All I need is a little hyphen next to mine."

"Right." Ben chuckled bitterly.

"What?"

"Nothing." he shrugged and pushed Annie off his lap.

"What is it?" Annie asked, still sitting on the floor, as Ben got up and looked for his smokes.

"Nothing. Everything's fine."

"It clearly isn't." Annie stood up as well and blocked the front door. "Talk to me."

"Do you really want to get married, Annie?" Ben asked as he reached for his jacket from the coat rack, "or are you just -"

"Yes!" Annie cried as Ben put his jacket on. "Yes!"

"Just without anyone knowing?"

"Ben, think about it." Annie crossed her arms. "You're getting seriously famous. Internationally. You're the best looking man on earth. Do you know how many people will wish us nothing but the worst? How many people will -"

"Who gives a bloody shit?!"

"I do!" Annie squared her shoulders. "It'll take us 29 days to get married from the day we give our notice."

"I can't bel -" Ben stopped mid-sentence, "wait, how do you know that?"

"I checked."

“What do you mean?”

“I checked what the process is.” Annie shrugged. “Because this is something I want to do. With you.”

Ben looked up at the ceiling and scratched the side of his nose, scoffing.

“Wait,” he said when he looked down and took in Annie’s puzzled face. “You actually checked that? When?”

“In the car. Before I drove home.”

“So when you said you’re ‘not sure’ if you want to get married, before?”

“Yeah, I lied.” Annie cringed. “Mostly to myself, if that’s any consolation.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Ben shook his head in awe. “29 days?”

“29 days. But we have to give notice. Only then we can start counting down.”

“Do we need documents or something?”

“I guess. Didn’t check that far…” Annie bit her bottom lip. “I got kind of freaked out with myself for looking it up in the first place.”

“I’m not following.” Ben started to take a fag out of the box. “Can you move, please?”

“Ben, I never wanted to get married. Growing up with my parents, seeing what marriage was like?” Annie explained. “It was like having an out-of-body experience. I was looking it up and looking at myself doing that and just flipped. I walked up to our stoop ready to kick your head off for changing me and turning me into this… This… thing! But then I saw you and -”

“You know your parents aren’t the best example of a healthy marriage.”

“Yeah. But when I saw you, it’s like our entire relationship played over in my brain.” Annie’s cheeks started reddening. “Fuck-marry-kill. It hit me. I want this. I’ve wanted this since before I even realized I want this.”

“You are so bloody weird.”

“I know.” Annie grinned. “But I do want this. I really, really want this. But on my terms.”

“What about my terms? They don’t matter?”

“Not when you’re not around much... No.” Annie smirked.

“You cheeky little dwarf!” Ben dropped his cigarette box and picked Annie up, throwing her body over his shoulder and smacking her bum. “Fine. Fine. We’ll do it on your terms.”

###

“Cut!”

Jamie and Annie exhaled and slumped their shoulders, their royal stance relaxing. They knew another take was coming and stayed in place. Jamie put a loose strand of Annie’s hair back where it should have been while Annie adjusted his costume.

“So? Elvis has left the building?” Jamie asked, looking at his poor attempt at fixing Annie’s hair and hoping no one will notice.

“Yep, left in the middle of last night.” Annie kept her voice low and her face straight.

“Is everything… you know,” Jamie frowned, “alright?”

“We’re getting married.”

Jamie choked on his own spit and started coughing frantically.

“Wrong pipe?” Annie asked with a lopsided smile.

“You’re getting -” he realized how loud he was and composed himself, “you’re getting married?!”

“Legally, yeah.” Annie nodded slightly. “Nothing big.”

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Annie said and rolled on her feet, rocking from her toes to her heels, stretching her arms back. “I know. You can’t tell anyone.”

“Wait, what?”

“Action!” the director yelled.

###

“Hey, buddy.” Ben smiled and put the phone on speaker as he wolfed down his lunch. “How’s the tour?”

“Ben Cardy is having a blast, lemme tell ya.” Joe’s words slurred slightly.

“Are you drunk?” Ben put his sandwich down.

“One would say that I could possibly be, yes.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“We’re going to a karaoke bar!” Joe announced. “I’m Winnie The Pooh.”

“Of course you are.” Ben chuckled. “So, I see you’re having fun without me.”

“Meh.” Joe shrugged. “What else is happening? How was the weekend?”

“Annie and I got into a bit of a messy fight.” Ben recounted. “Almost broke up but then we sorted it all out and now we’re going to get ma - haaaaaah -”

“Ben?” Joe’s voice rose an octave. “Hello? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ben shook his head clear, “we’re going to get… Um... Marigolds. For our garden.”

Ben’s eyebrows knotted as he thought about what he just said.

“Marigolds?”

“Uh-huh. Annie wants ‘em.” Ben smacked his forehead and pursed his lips.

“Huh.”

“Yeah, anyways.” Ben was suddenly in a rush. “I better get going. Have fun without me!”

“Are you sure everything’s alright?”

“Yep. Everything’s perfect. Talk soon!”

Ben hung up the call and groaned. This is a secret he’s going to struggle to keep.

###

“Cut! Right! Great job, you two!” the director called out, finally giving Annie and Jamie their lunch break.

“You’re getting married?!” Jamie wrapped an arm around Annie and hissed. “What?!”

“Yeah.”

“And I can’t tell anyone because…?”

“I said so.”

“What?!”

“Yep.” Annie popped the ‘p’. “So, there’s that.”

“Annie, are you going through a psychotic break? Are you hearing voices and seeing things? Are you… are you high right now?!” Jamie put both of his hands on her shoulders, scrutinizing her face for any sign of insanity or intoxication. “Can you hear colors? Taste voices?”

“I’m not -” Annie started. “What?!”

“Exactly!”

“Why are you freaking out?” Annie raised an eyebrow, her head tilted curiously. “You’re allegedly engaged, too. Shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

“Allegedly?” Jamie blinked at Annie.

“C’mon, Jamie.” Annie took one of his hands and led him towards the trailers. “It’s a PR stunt. Everybody knows.”

“Pardon?”

“What, we have a huge fight, and you go on a whole mental meltdown,” Annie looked over her shoulder as she tugged him along, “and suddenly you meet Alison -”

“Madison.”

“Madison.” Annie corrected herself, rolling her eyes. “Right. Anyways, Madison suddenly pops out of the blue?”

“You are so…” Jamie stopped in his tracks. “I can’t even begin to -”

“What?”

“You’re definitely high on something.” Jamie snickered and brushed past her. “Go get help, Annie! Addiction is a disease!”

“Fuck off!” Annie laughed and flipped him off before she chased after him.

“You met her! She babysat your demonic little lovechild!”

“I wasn’t saying she’s made up, I was saying your engagement is a fraud.”

“It’s not a fraud.”

“When’s the wedding, then?”

“November 25th!” Jamie shot back.

“Of what year?” Annie smirked, tongue-in-cheek.

“Get over here!” Jamie pulled Annie’s hand and shoved her into his trailer, laughing.

Neither of them noticed Clara and Mike standing near the vending machines and staring at them, out of ear-shot but definitely within sight.

###

“Dr. McCarthy,” Annie’s voice cracked slightly as she tried to stay comfortable and relaxed, legs spread wide open, “I have a question.”

“Yes?”

“Hypothetically,” Annie started, “if we were to remove the IUD, how long would it take for the effects to… Er... Stop?”

“Hypothetically, of course,” Dr. McCarthy said with a knowing smile, “for someone your age and without any health conditions… Anywhere between four to six months, technically.”

Annie looked at the fluorescent ceiling lights as she tried to do the math - Rory’s 7 months old now, which means Annie will be fertile again when Rory is 11 months old, and if she conceives quickly, that means Rory will have a baby brother or sister before she’s even two years old.

“Oh.” Annie finally said, frowning. “What are the chances of that happening? Conceiving right when that timeframe of four months ends?”

“That depends on so many factors, really,” Dr. McCarthy rolled her chair back and took off her latex gloves. “Are we still hypothetical?”

“Of course.”

“Considering it only took one time for you and Ben to conceive,” Dr. McCarthy started, “I’d say your chances aren’t bad at all. Then again, when actively trying for a baby the stress and anticipation of it alone can affect conception and then - who knows?”

“Is it alright if I call Ben and put him on speaker phone while we discuss this?” Annie fidgeted with the hem of her t-shirt.

“Go ahead.” Dr. McCarthy smiled and brought over Annie’s backpack.

Annie fished around inside and pulled out her phone, quickly calling Ben.

“Hello?” Ben’s voice came through.

“I’m at Dr. McCarthy’s -” Annie started.

“Is something wrong?” Ben cut her off.

“No, why would anything be wrong?” Annie groaned. “I asked her about taking the IUD out.” Annie waited for Ben’s response, but was answered with silence and the noises of traffic and passers-by. “Hello?”

“Are you pulling my leg right now?”

“She most certainly isn’t!” Dr. McCarthy chimed in. “I was just explaining to Annie that it could take four to six months to be able to conceive again but it depends on many, many factors. Stress is a big one of them.”

“I see…” Ben urged her to carry on.

“So even if we do take it out, there’s no guarantee you’ll have another right after that timeframe of the effects wearing off. Could take as long as a year, even.”

“Oh!” Annie sounded chipper. “Well, then!”

“I really wouldn’t advise messing with your hormones like that, Annabelle.” Dr. McCarthy sighed. “Once I remove this, you’ll have cramps, mood swings, spotting…”

“Take it out.” Ben said.

“Ben!”

“What?” he laughed. “Take it out. We’ll forget it’s not even there. If a baby happens -”

“Stop talking!” Annie commanded. “I’ll call you when I get home?”

“Take it out, doc!” Ben said hurriedly before hanging up.

“Well?” Dr. McCarthy looked at Annie expectantly. “What’s it gonna be?”

###

Ben laid on his hotel bed, drumming his fingers on his belly and wiggling his toes. He knew Rory should be asleep by now, and waited for Annie’s call, his phone right next to his body. When it finally rang, a huge smile appeared on his face as he took the call.

“So you were lying about not being ready for another baby, too?” Ben purred smugly.

“Oh no,” Annie’s smirk was audible. “I’m not ready for another baby.”

“So you didn’t take it out, then?”

“No. Not just yet, anyways.” Annie’s voice was like liquid sunshine for Ben. Even though she said something he wasn’t happy about, he couldn’t help but feel at ease. “After you’re done with this film, we’ll discuss it again.”

“That’s more than I could ever ask for.” Ben played with the strings on the waistband of his sweatpants. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Not ruling it out altogether.” Ben bit the tip of his tongue. “Not pulling another Annie…”

“Oh, sod off.” Annie rolled her eyes.

“I almost blurted out we’re getting married.” Ben confessed and shut his eyes tight, prepared for impact. “Ended up telling Joe we’re getting marigolds for our garden.”

“Marigolds?” Annie scoffed.

“Well, what was I supposed to say?!” Ben quipped.

“Mangos? Magic 8 balls? Macchinettas?” Annie suggested. “Maine-coon-fucking-cats?!”

“Oh. Those are good options.”

“Ben, you swore on your own life and you best believe I will kill you if you tell anyone about this.” Annie hissed.  

“I know.”

“I told Jamie.” Annie said. “He’ll help us hide it. You’d better not say a bloody word to anyone. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, Annie.” Ben sighed. “Are you done yelling at me, now?”

###

Clara walked into Jamie’s trailer to find Annie lounging about, flipping through a magazine, in regular clothes.

“What are you doing here?” Clara asked. “Thought you finished filming for today hours ago.”

“Jamie is treating Rory and me to dinner.” Annie said, not looking up from her magazine. “Might as well wait for him here and go pick her up together. Then straight for dinner.”

“Huh.” Clara crossed her arms.

“What?” Annie flipped the page.

“You’re so… chummy.” Clara noted. “Thought you two hated each other and were only friendly for appearance’s sake.”

“I don’t hate Jamie. Never did.” Annie laughed, eyes fixed on the glossy pages in her hand. “What are you doing here?”

“What?” Clara seemed shocked by the mere question.

“This is Jamie’s trailer, why are you here?” Annie finally looked over at her best friend. “Need something?”

“Was going to borrow a smoke, actually.” Clara said with a huff. “Is that alright with you, your majesty?” Annie gestured with her hand and shrugged. Clara found Jamie’s pack of smokes and took one, hesitating before leaving the trailer. “Is everything alright with Ben?”

“Sure,” Annie nodded. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

###

“Cut!” the director called, breaking Annie’s and Jamie’s kiss. They were re-doing a scene from one of the earlier episodes that came out ‘wonky’. They kissed passionately and abruptly stopped for an hour now. They couldn’t help but burst out laughing every time the director called out ‘cut!’. Their lips were raw and puffy.

“Can we please end this already?” Jamie cried dramatically.

“Oh, as if you’re suffering!” Annie snorted.

“Touch ups!” the director ordered and Annie and Jamie stood still like dolls, getting their make-up fixed.

“They seem to be enjoying this…” Clara mused from behind the monitors.

“What’s that?” Mike asked, distracted by a cute intern walking by.

“Look at them.” Clara nodded at the two. “Lovey-dovey all of a sudden.”

“They’re just getting along.” Mike shrugged. “Let them live.”

“They never just get along.” Clara bit her thumbnail. “Not like this.”

Annie and Jamie got back in their places, making funny faces at each other while the lighting crew worked it’s magic. When everything was all set, the director called ‘action!’ - and Annie and Jamie were kissing with fervour, once again.

Clara watched them through the monitor and squinted, her mouth puckered up as she tried to make sense of this new situation. Jamie’s hand worked it’s way up Annie’s waist and cupped her breast, making Clara gasp with realisation.

“She’s cheating on Ben!” Clara whisper-screamed at Mike. “Oh my God!”

“She is not -” Mike started and then watched the make-out session unfold on the monitor. “Oh. Crap. That’s...”

###

“Gwil?” Annie answered her phone in utter confusion. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just, you know, missed my Banana.” Gwilym said, a weird cheeriness in his voice. “How’s Rory?”

“Great! She’s just starting to stand up without holding onto anything for, like, split-seconds and -”

“Oh, that’s great!” Gwilym cut her short. “And Ben?”

“You probably talk to him more often than I do.” Annie noted. “I should be asking you that question, not the other way around.”

“Funny.” Gwilym scoffed. “So… Everything’s good, then?”

“Gwilly, you’re starting to creep me out.” Annie sat down on the closest chair she could find, her dress rustling. “Is everything okay? Are you cry-baby-drunk again?”

“What? No!” Gwilym retorted. “I’m fine! Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah?” Annie furrowed her brows. “Oh no. Is this the onset of Dementia? I know that as you get older it’s a condition and all and you’re basically elderly but -”

“Yeah, you’re just fine.” Gwilym laughed. “Anyways, everything’s great. I’m not drunk. Don’t have Dementia. Just… wanted to check up on you, I guess.”

“That’s nice. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Banana. Call me whenever!” Gwilym almost commanded. “Anytime you need to talk or vent or -”

“Gwil, what’s going on?”

“Just… if you need me, I’m right here, okay?”

“Alright.”

“Okay.”

“Bye, now.” Annie lilted.

“Bye, Banana.” Gwil said before hanging up.

Annie put her phone on the table next to her and stared blankly into the air in front of her. She didn’t even notice Jamie walked up to her until he stood mere feet away from her, snapping his fingers to wake her from her odd trance-like state.

“Gwil just called,” Annie looked up at her read-headed co-star and, now, confidant, “asking if everything’s alright with Rory and Ben and me...?”

###

Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. Annie had just finished a scene with Mike and felt absolutely knackered. She didn’t even see Ben standing around behind the monitors until she physically almost walked right past him, tired and dazed. She stopped in her tracks and looked to the side, a big smile lighting up her face.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Picking you up so we could go take Rory home and have some us time.” Ben held his arms out for Annie to walk into. “Long week?”

“So long. Re-shoots abundant and Clara is acting very, very iffy.”

“Iffy? How?” Ben rubbed Annie’s back as they hugged.

“Not sure…” Annie released Ben from her embrace and took his hand. “I need to change out of this and then we can leave.”

“Actually… we still have a whole hour before Rory’s pickup time...” Ben smirked and pulled her back to him, his chest flat against her back and his voice sending shivers down her spine. “I have a better idea, your majesty.”

###

Clara was just on her way to her car when she passed by Annie’s trailer and heard moaning. Looking over at Jamie’s trailer, she noticed all lights were off and that it seemed desolate. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other and adjusted her tote’s straps.

Muttering to herself, she walked over to Annie’s trailer. Now was her chance to catch Annie and Jamie in the act and tear into them. Let them know that they are both making the worst mistake of their lives. That she’s going to tell Ben and… What’s-her-name. That she’s not going to keep their little secret anymore. That what they are doing, although very characteristic of them both, is a super shitty thing to do.

She tiptoed up the three steps and took a deep breath. Then, she reached for the handle and barged in.

“Alright, arseholes!” Clara started before screaming like a banshee.

Ben was stark naked and thrusting, his head thrown back in pleasure, his tongue sticking out between his teeth, standing behind Annie. One of his feet on the coffee table, the other on the floor. Annie, still in some parts of her costume, was bent over, holding onto the leather sofa armrest, in complete disarray.

“What the fuck? Ben!” Clara eyed him. She scanned his figure, from head to toe. “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry.”

“Clara you have to stop walking in to people’s trailers like that.” Annie fumbled for something to cover herself and Ben with. “What the bloody hell?!”

“I thought you were here with…” Clara’s voice drifted.

“With who?!” Annie snapped.

“I just -” Clara shook her head. “Never mind. Sorry for, uh, interrupting.”

###

“We will, we will rock you...” Ben sang quietly, bouncing Rory gently in his arms twice and giving her bum a soft pat. “We will, we will rock you...”

After fifteen minutes of bounce-bounce-pats, Rory finally fell back to sleep. Ben grabbed the baby monitor and went to his and Annie’s bedroom, pleasantly surprised to find her awake and typing away on her laptop.

“So, I took a day off for errands and such on Monday,” Annie said without looking up from the screen, “just to get everything clarified and figure out exactly what we need to do for the marriage thing.”

Ben put the baby monitor on the nightstand and collapsed onto the bed beside her.

“Annie,” he started, rolling over on his back. “When you said Jamie was helping us hide it…”

“Oh, right.” Annie smiled devilishly. “So, the plan is to make everybody think there’s something going on with Jamie and me.”

“Aha.” Ben propped himself up on his elbows. “Why must everyone think that something is going on with you two?”

“Because that will give me the perfect excuse to leave early and not hang out with Clara as much.” Annie explained, pulling the laptop screen down. “You know how nosey she is. She gave you a great demonstration earlier.”

“So when she barged in -”

“She probably thought I was with Jamie.” Annie’s eyes widened with realisation. “Oh my God. Gwilym.”

“Not a name I’d ever expect to hear my wife call out in our bed.”

“No, shut up. Twat.” Annie laughed. “I meant the phone call. He called me all concerned and -”

“You think Clara might’ve said something?”

“She did scare you into thinking I’m breaking up with you when I went to Jamie’s last week.” Annie shrugged. “Remember? ‘Start praying’ and all?”

“It would be so much easier to just tell everyone -”

“Ben, for the love of God, stop talking.” Annie said, clamping Ben’s mouth shut with her fingers. “We’re doing this on my terms, otherwise you’re not getting another baby.”

“Oh, that’s low.” Ben mumbled through closed lips.

#########

TAGLIST:  @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys  @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

[knight-of-ashes]

Bumbleby, Representation, and Validation

After this latest episode, I feel I have to write this and share my experiences as a RWBY fan, a Bumbleby shipper, and a slightly broken but still determined person. It’s a long tale, so I’ll try to put it under the cut, but if you’re at all questioning about your sexuality or your place in the world, I hope this post and Bumbleby help you.

When I first started watching RWBY, it was 2014. I’d just started at university for my mechanical engineering bachelor’s for the second time, after failing out the first time and then lying about it to my family for two years. I was pretty alone, but I made some friends who got me into the show. What got me hooked was the Yellow trailer, and sure enough, as I got caught up on the show, Yang continued to be my favorite. I’m extremely extroverted, enjoy violence, prone to deep anger and unbelievable excitement, with a maternal streak a mile wide and a penchant for boxing. I see myself in almost all of Yang’s behaviors. It was too easy to put myself into her place.

At the time, Bumbleby shippers baffled me. Yang and Blake just seemed like really good friends. I kept thinking about Korrasami and how much it upset me that Bryke put them together as a couple, instead of just leaving them as friends. I remember thinking “I wish they wouldn’t shove so many lesbians down our throats.” The fact that I saw myself in Yang only deepened that. I kept thinking back to high school, to my best friend at the time. She and I were peas in a pod, and while I could see myself living with her if neither of us found a guy, I wasn’t attracted to her, we weren’t lesbians, why couldn’t shows reflect that?

I met @wingzeroalchemist on Reddit while arguing this point with Bumbleby shippers on some fanart. We got to talking, and discussing why it upset me so bad. Over the course of a few months, a few more episodes of RWBY Volume 2, and more fanart, and the airing of Burning the Candle, we discussed it, and it dawned on me: I had a crush on my high school best friend, and I was very, very bi. This was news to me but to no one else I went to school with, least of all her.

That relationship never moved forward for a number of reasons including asexuality on my friend’s part, but the volume 3 finale hit me hard, and I was moved to try to come out to my family. I came out and got told that if I was really bi, I could just “choose” to be with men. I was made to promise that I wouldn’t bring it up again, and that I wouldn’t go back on my “choice”.

Fast forward to 2017. V4 and V5 disappointed me a bit but I kept with the show because I could still see the potential. I graduated with my bachelor’s and fought at Robogames 2017. I got a boyfriend and convinced myself I really loved him, even though things weren’t as great as I wanted. I got deep into the art of heraldry, and met Kim (@dustycymbre) through Reddit and Discord. My parents were super invested in my relationship with my boyfriend, until he wasn’t doing exactly what they wanted for me, and then they coerced me to break up with him. (I was also date raped somewhere in there cos the dipshit was never taught about consent but I digress.) Through V5, I realized my mother and I were a bit like Raven and Yang: wholly incompatible as mother and daughter, and I needed to get away from the emotional abuse. Her behavior was different from the fiction in a lot of ways, but the end result was the same: I never felt like I had support for my dreams, and I’d been set to wander aimlessly.

After the breakup, about a month went by before Kim told me she had a crush on me, the day after my birthday. I won’t tell as much of her side, but what I can say is that she was married to a guy at the time, and some incidents occurred that led to her cutting it off with him several long months later. I quickly discovered that as much as I feel like a proxy for Yang, she is absolutely a Blake, down to introversion and sleeping in sunbeams and being the sneakiest woman I’ve ever met. Where I’m hot headed, she’s cool and logical. Where I want to fight everything and look at blood like it’s no big deal, she eschews unnecessary violence and gets a bit squeamish watching Daredevil. Where my body runs warm, hers runs cold. Only our heights are off, and she’s convinced MM&K are the ones who are wrong.

From my side of things, I fell for her fast and hard. She was everything I’d been looking for and then some. She calmed me down when I was mad, she made me feel like I could achieve my goals, she gave me so much purpose and happiness. I got to be the post match interviewer at Robogames 2018 because I didn’t have a robot and she watched every interview, giving me pep talks and tips and praise and constructive criticism after every match. She helped me do better at work and weather my family’s absolute insanity. I convinced her to go back to finish her Masters and she trusted me and did it and now she has an awesome job. She helped me realize I needed to go no contact with my family, and I escaped and shut them down and will never have to face the fear of disappointing my batshit mother ever again thanks to Kim. She wants to help me build my next robot, and I want to help her with her garden and a podcast idea, and the future looks so bright with her in it.

I weathered my Raven and she weathered her Adam and watching the bees weather their trauma together in Volume 6 has been the ultimate form of validation. I never thought I’d ever get to actually be with the woman of my dreams, but I am now and seeing it in fiction, seeing so many of the exact struggles we’ve been through placed in explicit language on screen, has given me a whole new perspective. The representation makes the hate thrown at us feel less consequential. Yang and Blake have given us the confidence to become our true selves and seek a relationship that is comfort and softness and contentment instead of pain and anger and resentment. We can be whole, we can be weird, we can love each other and not worry about some misguided taboo.

Representation matters, whether you’re 15 or 50. We’re 25 and just figuring out our places in the world, and there are kids who will watch Bumbleby blossom in the show and figure it out a lot sooner than we did. I am so excited about that, and I hope that the representation of abuse with Adam and Blake also saves some lives. M&K have done a really great job writing Yang and Blake and it gives me so much hope for the future.

[lasersheith]

Continuation of this post.

Sheith/Stucky parallels and lots of me crying about both under the cut

Recap:

Keith- Captain America: (minor s6 trailer spoilers) Would fight you, has fought you, is probably fighting you right now. Lost his best friend and was super sad about it. Is capable of strategic thinking but going with his gut always seems to work out better. Used to be small and is now Buff and Beefy. Made the right call but for some reason all of his friends were piSSED ABOUT IT so he LEFT to do the right thing. Would sacrifice himself if it meant saving everyone else. 

Shiro- Winter Soldier: So unbelievably gorgeous it isn’t fair. Confused, stressed, doing his best. Robot arm. Memory issues from Evil Bad People forcing him to fight for them.

New screaming:

More Shiro-Bucky: Before the war we see Bucky being fun and cutesy but still scrappy and after he’s rescued (by Steve ofc) he smiles less, has that haunted look in his eyes, always frowning when he thinks no one is watching. (side bar, sebstan is an incredible actor and I’m love him 5 ever.) and that all plays really well into Josh’s headcanon that Shiro was more fun and silly before he was captured by the Galra. Also, the Winter Soldier and Champion parallels are incredible, just... Same hat. Very, very sad hat, but same hat. If you wanna scream about this with me we can scream but I made myself sad so I’m gonna move on for now.

Before everything went to shit:

Sheith: We only have hints about how close Shiro and Keith were before the Kerberos mission but clearly they were best friends. “If it wasn’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.” “Shiro is the only person who didn’t give up on me - I won't give up on him.” Keith being the only person that Shiro brought to the launch. Shiro’s story calling Keith his old friend. Nothing was worth Shiro’s pain. etc etc. That’s all just from canon, there’s so much more fan speculation too. Gold.

Stucky: Canonically best friends. “Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield” straight from the movie. We saw Bucky and Steve hanging out a bunch before Bucky got shipped out. They were fine with shoulder touches and double dates and joking around. A++ friendship.

After everything went to shit:

Sheith: While Shiro was gone Keith was so upset that he dropped out/got kicked out of school and punched Iverson so hard he broke his gotdam eye. (Those things are.... probably related.) “Shiro?” Wobbly anime eyes. “Then you showed up.” Soft smile.  Then when he loses Shiro again and finds him again “as many times as it takes.” 

Stucky: “I’m with you til the end of the line.” The power of bromance literally overcoming decades of torture and brainwashing to the point where Bucky is finally free from his captors’ hold over him. Like damn. (I kind of hope something like that happens in vld. Fingers crossed. They’ve set it up pretty nicely.) And Steve loses him again, too. But he finds him again and Bucky’s different, but he’s not that different. They still have their history even if Bucky only remembers parts (also sheith) and they get to make new memories together and with their team. Shut up infinity war didn’t happen i’m not over it

anyway feel free to scream at me about this if you want! Especially @akaiikowrites :)

[aion-rsa]

Cruella: Why Mark Strong Was ‘Fascinated’ to Work With Emma Stone

https://ift.tt/2SCjvU8

Disney’s new film Cruella is dominated by two exceptional performances from Emma Stone and Emma Thompson. The former plays the title character, an ambitious fashion designer who morphs into one of Disney’s most infamous villains, while the latter plays the designer who hires Cruella (in her Estella persona) and then tries to destroy her.

While the two Emmas drive the story and take full command of the screen, lurking around the edges is John, played by Mark Strong, the valet to Thompson’s Baroness who doesn’t say all that much. But even his stoic presence eventually reveals a character with more nuance and layers to him than the standard supervillain henchman.

Strong often plays antagonists and heroes with a certain level of complexity to them, whether it’s the haunted assassin Prideaux in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, the well-meaning but ultimately corrupt Sinestro in Green Lantern, CIA analyst George Panetta in Zero Dark Thirty, the sinister Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes, or Dr. Sivana in 2019’s Shazam!

Strong himself is affable and charming in person (or at least on Zoom), marking quite a difference from the darker or more enigmatic characters he often portrays. We spoke with the London-born actor about working with the two Emmas, his own memories of the 1970s London punk and fashion scene that serves as the backdrop for Cruella, his own short career as a punk rocker, and more.

Den of Geek: John the valet is, without giving too much away about him, the silent, but watchful type. What was your take on the character and your approach to him?

Mark Strong: He’s exactly that. Silent, watchful. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Craig Gillespie, the director, basically said to me, “I want the character to have presence.” He said, “There’s not a lot of dialogue for him, certainly not in the first half of the movie, but I want him to be present. I want people to wonder who this guy is, what he’s thinking, what’s happening, whose side is he on? And so that when there is a revelation later on in the movie, it pays off.”

I also think he was playing off the fact that I’ve played a lot of villains. So you just assume coming into the movie that I’m going to be the bad guy. And although he’s the henchman of the Baroness, who is the evil character in the movie, as we learn, as the film goes on, things aren’t all what they seem.

He’s got layers to him.

He certainly has. Yeah. Still waters run deep.

As an actor, when you don’t necessarily have a lot of dialogue, what are the tools you use to make the audience feel his presence?

Well, you’re very reliant on the director then. And when I had the meetings with Craig [Gillespie], I hadn’t actually initially read the script, because it hadn’t been made available to me. But I wanted to meet him because I loved Lars and the Real Girl and I, Tonya, his past films. And I think he wanted to meet me. So we just got together for a chat really at first.

But he said, “I will make sure the guy has presence.” So I was reliant totally on him to film moments of John thinking whatever he might be thinking. And then finally to use them in the edit. And I think he used pretty much everything we shot. Because I think he wanted that character to be noticed, so that when the revelation comes, you understand what’s going on.

Emma Thompson recently said that she remembered the ’70s punk and fashion scene in London as a teenager. I think you’re roughly around the same age or so. Do you remember that era?

I do. Yeah, but mine was much more a punk thing. So that ’70s thing of long hair and baggy, baggy trousers and stuff, that was just before my time. My consciousness kicked in around about 1977. But of course I was still wearing early ’70s clothes when I was trying to be a punk. That’s the irony.

How’d that work for you?

Well, it just meant I wandered down my high street, I remember, and I had a very ’70s cut jacket, but with silver paint, I’d written the word “punk” on the back. But I still had hair down to my shoulders, you know.

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Apparently at college, you sang in a couple of punk rock bands: Private Party and Electric Hoax.

I did, I did. And what fun we had coming up with those names, you know?

It certainly all ties into the punk element of Cruella, in a way.

Back then, England at the time, Britain, was a very strange place. I think if you probably look at what was in the charts, it’s real middle of the road stuff, you know. And society was sort of dominated by just people who didn’t really have much drive. So when punk came along, it really was a massive social upheaval. It was a proper attempt to try and change things.

I always remember reading a magazine that had a picture of three different guitar chords. And underneath it said, “Here’s three chords. Now go out and form a band.” And I took it literally. I basically said to some mates of mine at school, “Okay, you go and get yourself a snare drum and a hi-hat, you get an electric guitar, I’ll get the mics and a bass.” And then we literally just made a noise. None of us could particularly play very well, but that was the genius of punk — you didn’t have to at first. But we kind of learned on the job, and then we got quite good.

Ever had the desire to get on the mic for old times’ sake or belt out a couple of tunes?

No, I don’t think the music industry’s lost anything important by not having me as part of it.

Let us be the judge of that, Mark. You got to work with the two Emmas in this film. How are they different or similar in their approaches to these characters?

They really are fine actresses. I’d say I loved every moment on set with both of them. Emma Thompson is just very funny, very inclusive. She’s generous, she’s warm, and she’ll talk to anybody. It doesn’t matter who you are on set. There’s no hierarchy going on with her. She’s really a really lovely lady and great company.

And Emma Stone is pretty much the same. I was fascinated with her, how hard she worked. Because she has to carry that movie. And watching it, she’s just absolutely mesmerizing. She does an incredible job of really painting in that journey with such subtlety, even though it’s a kind of heightened movie. It’s really moving and she’s really brilliant. And yeah, on set, she was still chatting to people. She was very casual. You know, she didn’t rush off to her trailer and go and have to stay in character or anything like that. They were really great company, both of them.

For this film in particular, how much did the clothes, the sets and all that period stuff really help to enhance just shooting the movie for you?

Well, Jenny Beavan, the costume designer, created some unbelievable dresses for Emma Stone. But also what she did was, there were three huge ballroom sequences, in which she had to clothe everybody. So everybody looked fantastic all of the time when I was on set. The thing about being an actor is when you get on set, and all the work is being done for you, because the set is massive and brilliant and really well done, and the costumes are all vivid and real, you just feel the part. You don’t have to do any work in a weird way. I mean, as a butler obviously, or a valet, I just got the one outfit. But that was fine by me because it was a really classy one. And it does the work for you.

What’s happening with Shazam: Fury of the Gods? Is Dr. Sivana coming back?

I literally spoke to the producer last night, because I saw that Zach Levi tweeted that they’re about to start shooting in Atlanta. Dr. Sivana isn’t in Shazam! 2. What’s happened is, I think Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu and perhaps someone else — they’ve got some female villains in. And to be honest with you, I’m very happy to take a back seat to some female villains and let them have a go, because judging by the work that Emma Thompson and Emma Stone have done in Cruella, it’s about time.

Do you think Sivana will come back if there’s a Shazam! 3?

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

 Who knows? He’s still got unfinished business with Mister Mind.

Cruella opens in theaters this Friday (May 28), and will also be available on Disney+ via Premier Access.

The post Cruella: Why Mark Strong Was ‘Fascinated’ to Work With Emma Stone appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[weneverlearn]

GARAGE PUNK DOC IN THE WORKS! 

Wherein Italian trash rock lifers dust off their old VHS concert tapes and pick up a new camera to document the 1990s garage rock scene.

About the last week of November, a trailer of sorts (above) was making the trash rock rounds. It’s cool clips and odd editing of some of the best garage bands of the 1990s piqued lots of interest and fevered sharings, garnering excited queries of “What?” “When?” “Who?” Gaaaaaggghh!!”

Well it turns out I had a clue, as this in-the-works documentary of the end-of-the-century garage rock scene (ala the one covered in my book) is being scrummed up by Italian uber-fans, Massimo Scocca and Gisella Albertini. They not only started booking great bands from all over the wold in their town of Torino and beyond northern Italy back in the early ‘90s, but they had their own great trash trio, Two Bo’s Maniacs. And yes, @newbombturks have been pals with them since they first booked us in 1993, and are one of many interview subjects planned for the film.

Since the chances of 20th Century Fox coming along to bankroll a doc on the 1990s garage punk scene is probably out of the realm of possibility, here’s hoping Massimo and Gisella get all the help and funding they need to finish the project.

We Never Learn checked in with Gisella for some more details on the project.

So, what is the name of the documentary, and why is it named that?

We needed a working title that could pretty much summarize what it is about, and not just cool sounding: Live The Life You Sing About - Tales of Low Budget and Desperate Rock’n’Roll.  

We started wondering how bands that sound so different from one another are often perceived as part of the same category or “genre.” When someone asks us to define it, we end up with a long series of terms: garage, punk, rock’n’roll; sometimes with an extra “sixties” or “lo-fi” or “low-budget” in all possible combinations because they’re not not necessarily all true at the same time. Maybe the one thing they have in common is attitude. Something like: play, sing, do what you think is right, no matter what other people think or say. This often comes along with struggle, frustration, and the feeling of being on a different planet, so we threw in an extra “desperate.” It also happens to be the title of an old song that a band brought back to the present, which is another common theme here. However, it might still change, if we come up with a better idea.

Who started the idea to do the documentary, and why?

We came across a box of Video 8 and cassette tapes, forgotten in a closet for years, and something clicked: “We should do something with this!”

From time to time we happen to meet kids who were just babies or very young children in the 90’s, but are very much into this kind of music. Usually when they hear the names of the bands we saw play live, they look at us with amazement and envy. That reminds us of when we talked to people who had seen maybe like Bo Diddley and the Rolling Stones in the ‘60s in just one night. Ok, it means that we’re getting older, but at the same time, we feel lucky and grateful that someone worked hard to allow all that to happen. Now, it’s our chance to save someone “from the misery of being a Taylor Swift fan and do something good for the world” ( - Tim Warren). Ha ha ha!!!

Gisella (far right); Massimo (middle) - Photographer unknown

Is there a kind of timeframe to the bands in the movie?

I guess you know exactly what it means having to choose what to include and what to cut. So many stories that should be told, so little pages...or minutes. It’s just an impossible task. So, we somehow arbitrarily put some boundaries. We decided to focus on whatever happened between 1990 and 1999. Last decade of the millennium. Pretty epic, you know. The era of transition towards new technologies that deeply changed the way of doing many things, but at the same time, at least in this kind of music, strongly rooted in the previous decades of the century.

Oh sure, it’s not that a flying saucer with all these bands landed on Earth on January 1, 1990 and left on December, 1999. We will have flashbacks and references to the present as well. But since the documentary is mostly based on our own archive, it’s also necessarily influenced by the fact that we met some people and not others, and we saw, filmed, and photographed some bands more than others.

Tell me about what your backgrounds are -- in music or life in general.

Oh well, the main people [working on the doc] currently is the two of us -- with the precious help of a few people who could not devote themselves to the project until it’s completed, but worked with us and supported us in many ways.

When we came up with the idea, we had two main options: putting together a professional-looking proposal, sending it around and just wait, hoping some producer would notice its great potential and decide to invest thousands of dollars on it. Or, just jump in and start somehow and figure everything else out in the process. We chose the latter -- it’s more punk! There’s no fame and fortune guaranteed with this project. You do it just because you want to and no matter what.

I mean, we expected a bunch of dedicated fans and collectors would love to see a documentary like this. But being realistic, that’s a relatively small niche. We tried to figure what people know about this. in Italy, the closest they can usually get to this kind of music is what here is called the  “Po-po-po-po-po-po-poo World Cup chant.” Real title: “Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes. Not even something we plan to mention. 

Next, a bunch of bands of the late 90’s-early 2000s, still quite a bit out of our range. Then numbers get lower and lower, down to the most obscure ones that only few geeks have ever heard of.

Anyway, if all goes well, we’ve finally found a stable technical crew. Also, we’re working on a few ways of funding the project, besides our own bank account, and including crowdfunding later. Plus a few other ideas, but nothing defined yet so I prefer not to say more, until we’re settled.

1995 7″

Torino newspaper clipping, 10/93. - “Shitty local bands get the main title, while they (A-Bones) only appear to deserve a "tough (?) garage rockers from NY.” - Gisella

How far along are you in finishing it, and when do you think it will be done?

We already did a lot of work on the archive and the structure that will help speed up the editing process. However, we still have quite a few interviews to make, presumably in the summer, and post-production that will involve quite a lot of work on sound especially. Sorry guys, sit down and relax, at least until late 2018. But we’ll keep everybody updated on our page.

Who have you talked to so far, and who do you hope to talk to when you come to the States?

We did long interviews with Tim Warren and Ben Wallers at their homes. Then we have eleven more, collected at gigs of the bands that happened to be touring Europe: opportunities that we couldn’t waste. Many interviews were between sound check and dinner, or even after the gig, and we might decide -- with the interviewees -- to use only part of them, or not at all, then do more while we’re in the U.S.A. Oh, I almost forgot to mention 30 audio-only interviews we had made for our zine in the ‘90’s that will be partially edited in as well. Who do we hope to talk to in the States? Hey, we’re Italian and superstitious, we don’t reveal names in advance!

Torino newspaper clipping, 1994.

Tell us about when you first started seeing these kind of garage punk bands. And what was an early show you saw that really made you get into this music?

Gisella: Sixties music has been my favorite since I was 4 or 5, when I found my mom’s Beatles records -- two 45’s -- in a cupboard. From there, you know, Kinks, Them, Animals, Pretty Things, and then Pebbles, Back From the Grave, and the bands more or less inspired by that. So when my friends and I heard that the guy from the Prisoners would play in town with his new band the Prime Movers, we all went, of course. There, we discovered the opening band would be the Wylde Mammoths. Great night, and a first glimpse of things to come. But it was really the Gories and Thee Headcoats records I came across at a local record store that blew my mind and had me say “Oh THIS is what I really want to hear!.” Everything else followed.

Massimo: Well I’m older than Gisella you know, and I saw some awesome bands during the ‘80s like Suicide, Gun Club, etc. I used to collect a lot of garage compilations, early blues records, r&b, soul, and all the good stuff. But the event that attracted me strongly into this music happened in 1990. I was in NYC, checking the Village Voice and saw that the Gories and the Raunch Hands would play that night. So I went there, and man, that gig was unbelievable! Totally different from anything you could hear at that time, and so shocking that it definitely changed my life forever.

I guess there will be a lot of old film footage in the movie. Can you tell us about one or two old videos you have that you are particularly excited about putting in the movie?

The first one we ever shot. it’s 1995, Micha [Warren, Crypt Records] tells us the Oblivians will be touring Europe. The 10” on Sympathy was awesome and the Country Teasers will be playing too, so we decide to follow them around for a week. Right before leaving, I remember a friend of mine had a Video 8 camera from the late 80s, ask him if we can borrow it, and he says yes. Great, off we go in our ‘70s orange, rusty Ford Transit that we can also sleep in. We get to Stuttgart, Germany. The venue is a sort of long narrow basement, really packed, hot wild atmosphere. Camera battery is fully charged, everything ready, we’re thrilled at the idea of filming such an event. Except... five minutes later, the camera’s dead! The battery was fucked up. What do we do? We can’t miss something like this. Between the sets, we ask if I can keep the camera plugged to the only socket around, at the back of the stage, and they say ok. So for the whole gig I’m there in a corner, trying not to pull my 3′ cord too much, horrified at the thought of blacking out amps and P.A., making the band and the crowd mad at me forever. Luckily, I didn’t. And we came home with some real crazy footage!

Was there any band so far that said NO to an interview for the film?

Considering that in most cases we basically popped up at sound-check asking for an interview for a basically nonexistent documentary, we’re really grateful that they all said yes in that moment, despite the often dire circumstances. It gave us the confidence to persist.

As for the future, we haven’t contacted 100% of those we’d like to interview yet. Until now there was only one who said, “Maybe, it depends.” But I already sort of expected this could happen, and in fact I contacted him way before all the others, in order to have time to figure out my countermoves. Not all hope is lost, ha!

Tell us anything else you want about the movie.

We want our documentary to reflect what we think was the feel of that era -- no bullshit, fun, crazy, and not too high tech!

Follow the film’s progress here!!

[terdazaly]

Ben Robson Bares All About Being the Wildest Member of 'Animal Kingdom'

Things are getting primal on Animal Kingdom. Based on the Australian film of the same name and now in its just-started second season, TNT's gritty-sexy-cool crime drama about the Codys—a mash-up family of SoCal thieves led by Smurf (Ellen Barkin)—is aiming to change the dynamic within the group by having Smurf's boys break free and begin working jobs without her often-controlling oversight. How they do remains to be seen, but so far drug-addled Craig (Ben Robson) and closeted, kid brother Deran (Jake Weary) have figured out that they need to recruit their motherless nephew J (Finn Cody) and keep an eye on the women we all know is willing to kill to keep her sons in line. Here, scruffy scene-stealer Robson talks about Craig's penchant for self-destruction, his possible rise to power and, yes, all of those butt scenes.

OK, so what is going on with Craig this season? We talked last season about how he's this adrenaline junkie, but he's also got a serious drug problem, correct? Yeah. I wouldn't say it was normal. [Laughs] As an actor, it allows you to bring a little [bit] of unpredictability to the character, just because you just don't know what you're getting or how high he might be, how un-high he might be. It makes it a constant challenge, in terms of trying to work out where you believe he is. Also, it's understanding the highs and the lows and the need for the next fix and everything else that goes with it.

Which gives you levels to play. He's very complicated. There's a lot of comedic effect, but obviously it comes with some pretty serious and severe repercussions, not only to himself but to the family and others. It can become a bit of a liability in many aspects of it. It's a challenge; I enjoy pushing myself through and getting through. I don't enjoy shoveling protein powder and sugar up my nose as regularly as I have.

Is that what that is?! Yeah. We were gonna use proper cocaine, but then I wouldn't actually be able to do the job anymore. [Laughs]

What are the actual side effects of snorting protein powder?! It's why I got so big, you see. I grew! My muscles got massive. [Laughs] No, honestly, it's pretty horrible. After so many times, it gets really gooey. Then you just get these pounding headaches...yeah, it's not that pleasant.

Good god. Now that the guys think they can run jobs without Smurf's leadership, it feels like Craig most of all would be the loosest cannon. Can his brothers handle him the way she could? I actually don't think he knows even how to handle himself. For Craig this season, that is brought to the story, him losing the anchor, his mother. And like any kid leaving the nest, they tend to have their own ideas of how things can be done when you really do cut ties. Smurf, for Craig, is the only thing that keeps him in check in terms of financially, because that's the only restrain that he has put on him—Smurf gives him the credit cards and lodging. As soon as that's taken away, he's very much on his own. That can go two ways for the people. Sometimes they just go right off into the deep end, realize how they got there and that they've made a big mistake. Then you also have the other side, where people really figure out what they need to do in life and start taking responsibility.

Where does Craig fall? Definitely both angles of that are investigated through this season. It's an amazing arc for Craig this year, because obviously once he's off and has his own ideas [about jobs], which is an interesting thing. It happens with all the boys. They all have their own opinion of how things should be run.

Without spoiling anything, what is coming next for this guy then? You actually start to learn a lot more about Craig this year. He's someone that I think is seen as this bit of an asshole. He's very loyal to his family and surprises a lot of people in that way...his loyalty and the way he looks out for Deran (Jake Weary), especially, but really his whole family. I think we saw an element of that last year when he checked in with Deran about being gay and saying that he was completely fine with it and supported him all the way. We begin to learn a lot more about the principles that Craig holds himself accountable to. Even with all these crazy addictions and reckless behavior—and bottom line, being a criminal—he does weirdly have quite a strong moral code.

Sullivan Stapleton from Blindspot played Craig in the film version of Animal Kingdom. Have you talked to him about doing the show? No, I haven't, but I've actually met his manager or agent, just after I'd shot the pilot. We took a photo with her and she sent it off to him. I'm a huge fan of his. I actually watch Blindspot, as well. I really wanted to see how he was doing on it and it's a great show. He was amazing in the movie. I'm not surprised he's doing as well as he is. He's just got such a great quality about him as an actor. Everyone from that movie speaks volumes for how great the performances were, because every one of those actors have gone on to do some really incredible things.

So much attention was paid to your butt last season. [Laughs] Yeah, a lot actually.

Did you spend extra time in between seasons doing a lot more squats? Anything just to keep everything right and tight for all of Craig's copious pantless scenes? [Laughs] I was not only working on my squats, I actually started working with some models to work on my catwalk, so I could really have a better walk down the corridor next time!

It's honestly not an episode of Animal Kingdom without that thing showing up. You know what, I really had no idea it was going to be like that. I think the first scene that I shot actually of the whole show was the kitchen scene [where I walk in naked], which was a pretty crazy moment. But I think at least with our show, a lot of it isn't really gratuitous. It's getting the show across about how free he is and how crazy he is.

It totally fits with Craig because he's such a hedonist that he wouldn't have any of those hang-ups. That's just it! I think that's very much the culture, as well. I think that in surf culture, you're only ever really wearing a pair of board shorts. When you get up to the things that Craig does as regular as he does, you're bound to catch him naked quite a lot. And I have definitely become very close with the costume department because of the lack of costumes I'm wearing and the amount of robes and stuff you need to be put on you before people can come back on set!

Aside from that sort of daring, did you get to do any really amazing action sequences this season? Oh, yeah. I got to do some pretty cool stuff last year, but this year it has been pumped up in a whole new way. We were jumping off cranes, we did more stuff on the bikes, which was fun. Just ripping through the streets around there. They actually, unbelievably, had us surfing with sharks two or three weeks ago.

Was this when there was like, 15 sharks spotted off the California coast? I'm not kidding you when I tell you that we were in there and I was told that once we got out, they saw shadows under where we were. The next day, sure enough, [that beach] was closed down for great whites.

I would never leave the house again. And speaking of houses, is the Cody living room on your set where everyone tends to hang out anyway? It looks so comfortable. You know, it's funny. Obviously, we have a whole lot of built-up sets and the Cody home is a working and livable home. The bathrooms work. The sinks work. The bedrooms all work. There's air conditioning in there. There's a pool. Last year, we had a pool table there. When we're filming around the other places in the studio, we'll just go back to our trailers. In the house, people will just go and sit in the living room and read magazines, check phones. And hang out. It really is. I would be very happy in life if I manage to get a house like that one day. Just maybe not living with the Codys. [Laughs]

Yeah, no. You don't even want them as neighbors. I think it'd actually be worse if they were neighbors because you wouldn't know when they were coming to get you. [Laughs]

https://www.tvinsider.com/226099/ben-robson-animal-kingdom-tnt-craig-cody/

[ibangtanthings]

Sleep - pt 18

One thing you had come to fear less was the chance of getting caught. The cops never entered the tavern. Maggs knew how to handle customers that got too rowdy after a night of drinking.

The last time you saw a cop was in Sacramento as you guys were leaving and cars on the freeway were getting pulled over.

Jimin wanted to leave soon though. You’ve been on the run for two months now and everything was going better than planned. As much as you wanted to stay, he said it was too dangerous to stay in one place for too long.

“What’s wrong babe?” He walked through the trailer door and you flushed in embarrassment as he saw you sitting down on the floor crying.

As much as you wanted to hug him and feel his arms around you, you stayed on the floor and didn’t meet his gaze.

You shook your head and told him it’s nothing. “Just thinking about leaving. It makes me sad.” You lied.

It wasn’t right. The way you flushed underneath his gaze. Somehow you felt like he was testing you. He always seems to be hinting at more.

He held you longer. His eyes had something else in their gazes.

Now more than ever you thought about Hoseok.

“We can stay maybe another month. We’re not in a rush.” He said, much to your surprise.

You stared at your hands as he sat down next to you. He wiped away your tears and kissed your cheek. It burned with shame.

“Look at me.” He said.

As soon as you met his eyes, he knew.

“It’s him right? You’re thinking about him.” He said calmly.

You looked away and got up, making your way to the bed.

He followed you but he didn’t sit down.

“You know doing nothing isn’t going to help right?”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“About what?” He exclaimed.

You saw that he was getting annoyed.

“I’m just depressed today. Can’t I be depressed for one day?”

“No. I can’t stand seeing you like this Y/N. Come take your mind off it.”

You sighed. He didn’t know that you wanted to take your mind off him. He was the reason why you were so upset and yet he didn’t know. It wasn’t his fault either…or maybe it was.

“I just want to be alone.” You mumbled.

“Alone? Like away from me?” He asked.

“No. I just…I can’t stop thinking about you and Hoseok. I want to think about me. What I want.”

“What do you want? I know that I don’t want you to think about him anymore either. I thought we talked about this. We’re done with Hobi. Why can’t you just get over it already? I don’t even want to hear his name anymore. I’m tired of feeling guilty.” He said seriously.

“I’m tired too. But everyday that passes I just feel more guilty and not because I ran away.”

“Then why?”

You looked away from him again. Silence filled the stupid trailer.

“Is this what you did with him?” Jimin seemed hurt now. “Did you let his feelings for you hover for a while, knowing he wasn’t going anywhere?”

You closed your eyes and hid your face into the pillow.

“Tell me why you feel guilty Y/N.” he touched your shoulder and you leaned away from his touch, not taking your face out of the pillow to meet his eyes.

“You know what?…” He exhaled, remaining calm. “I’ll be back later.”

The door shut quickly after and you looked around at the empty trailer replaying his words over and over again.

He said you played with Hoseok’s feelings. How could he say that? That’s the whole reason why you felt horrible in the first place. Because Hoseok’s feeling for you made everything more complicated.

You missed Hoseok so much. The way he smiled and laughed, and the way his kisses seemed to make everything okay in an instant. And that warmth different from anything you have ever experienced.

That warmth his lips offered was better than any drug, any drink, any dream. Being with Hoseok was perfection. It was beyond anything physical. And you knew that before even kissing him but it was his kisses that confirmed your feelings for him.

Loving someone that much. It was unbelievable. And to think that he loved you that way, it was enough to make you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

But now all of that was compromised. You messed it up.

And yes. Sometimes you felt regret. But you owed it to Jimin not to feel regret. You knew that if you went back, Hoseok would still kiss you. But things weren’t so simple. You would be taken away from him.

It felt like Jimin was trying to push you over the edge. Every time you looked at that charming smile, it promised you the same thing Hoseok’s smile did. That everything was going to be okay, that everything was okay in that moment.

But it also felt like a time bomb was taking its sweet time.

_____

“Can you guys do something? Will this help?” He asked the detectives.

But he look they gave him made him feel like he was talking in some kind of alien language.

“Can’t you track where he last logged in?” Hoseok asked.

“We’ll look into it. Next time just call. You don’t have to come all the way here.” They told him.

“Hey Hobi! You need a ride?” Kris pulled up next to the bus stop.

Hoseok was already running late to work so he put on a fake smile and got in.

Kris’ car smelled like a bag of weed but that was normal.

“You want to come tonight? Kenny knows some guy who has a mansion uptown. He paid the guy a thousand to use it for the night. Can you believe that’s what he used his refund for? The rest of us have to pitch in for drinks and stuff but a mansion? This party’s going to be the best.”

“You always say that.” Hoseok smirked.

“You always gotta top the one before no?”

“I’m busy. Maybe some other time.”

“Busy? Yeah right. Stop being a bitch and come. It’s time to move on.” Hoseok rolled his eyes. Again with the talk from Kris.

“They left right?”

“Yes.” Hoseok exclaimed. “And I’m doing my best to try and find them.”

“They ain’t coming back Hobi. Did you ever think that maybe Y/N doesn’t want you to find her.”

“Did you ever think that maybe she does? Maybe she wants me to save her again?”

“If Jimin kidnapped her then yeah. But since you say he didn’t kidnap her, that they just ran away together then no. They fucked you over, and you’re beating yourself up for nothing. Forgive and forget. That’s all you can do now. And what do you mean again?”

“Nothing.” Hoseok sighed. “If I’m supposed to forget then let’s start with not talking about it anymore yeah?”

“To be honest I think Y/N was into me too.”

All Hoseok could do was laugh. “Shut the fuck up Kris. She’s mine no matter how far away she is.”

“If you come this one time, I swear I’ll stop bothering you. You’ll see, it’s going to be fun.”

“Okay but just tonight.”

Hoseok arrived early, immediately regretting it. Everyone was there. Everyone who knew Jimin and him, and the news of Jimin and you.

Conversations started out awkwardly, making him feel people were walking on eggshells around him. For once Kris was actually being helpful and getting everyone to loosen up.

When everyone was buzzed and having a good time, Hoseok was able to feel normal again. No one brought up your names, no one cared anymore. There were enough people to crowd the mansion and enough people that didn’t know who Hoseok was.

Everyone knew who Hoseok was but not here. The best thing was seeing strangers just bumping into each other, starting conversations and having fun together. Hoseok liked watching them.

Maybe different campuses were here but it didn’t feel like it. Hoseok was going around talking to people as if he never left the scene on the first place.

Sometimes Kris would introduce him as Jimin’s friend, obviously too high to care. Hoseok didn’t care either, he decided not to correct him. It was a party, and he wasn’t going to get mad.

Just for tonight he wanted to let go. Watching Kris and the other guys was too tempting. Hoseok decided he should be allowed to have fun. Just for a while at least. To forget about his pain.

It was a nice house. Huge and glamorous like you see in the magazines. Who wouldn’t want to party here anyways?

Like always the music called him. He felt the vibrations under his feet and he wanted to hear the music deafening his ears. As he made his way towards the crowd of people dancing he drank a couple more shots and spotted Kris between two girls.

Kris spotted him too and motioned for him to come over, Kenny was there too.

“Woah, wait! If anyone’s going to start a dance competition Hobi will judge! Get on the stand.”

“Yeah Hobi, DJ for a bit. These girls want to get down.” Kris yelled and pulled him to the center.

“If you want me to DJ then you better pay me.” Hoseok yelled into his ear.

“Then dance. Loosen up man. You know how many girls have been checking you out?” Kenny grabbed his hand and gave him a joint.

“Just one.” Kris said. “It’s nothing crazy man.”

“Just one.” Hoseok said, following them to a room.

Smoking and drinking didn’t really go hand in hand so he left it alone.

“Did you drink a lot?” Kenny asked.

“Just a few shots. But I feel fine.”

“Then take this instead.”

Hoseok looked at the small pill in his hand. It’s was molly.

“How strong is it?” He asked.

“It won’t kill you Hobi.”

“I hope it does.” Hoseok joked.

For a moment he scared himself. He would never joke like that. He was disgusted with himself. Now angry at himself, he took the pill and swallowed it. They hyped him up and pushed him out the room.

Soon, he didn’t care who was next to him, around him. He just started moving causally, some familiar faces greeted him. Strangers faces too. They seemed to be happy to see him as well.

The lights dimmed and the colorful spheres on the walls became brighter. A girl had her arms around his neck and he danced with her, with all the confidence in the world.

She was a pretty good dancer and she had a frame similar to yours.

It had been a while since Hoseok danced with anyone, especially like this. Teaching dance was one thing but this was different.

He watched as she turned around and began grinding on him. Without a second thought he grabbed her hips and held her close.

“Oh, Hobi!” The guys started yelling.

The girl lowered her hands to her knees and got low, the guy’s cheering and Hoseok laughing at the attention.

They got closer and more girls came to grind on them. As the music got more suggestive, and the movements became dirtier, Hoseok found it hard to concentrate on anything but her body on his.

Her attire didn’t help much either. The red skintight dress left little to the imagination and her hair fell down around her breasts almost perfectly.

She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck again. He smelled the perfume on her skin, all too inviting.

He licked his lips and avoided her gaze, looking around for someone who was the opposite of you. Someone who didn’t have the same hair color at least.

Maybe she mistook his hesitation for shyness but she kissed him, letting her hands slide down his torso. The thoughts running through his mind let his hands fall from her waist to her ass.

His boner gave everything away.

She grabbed his hands away and smiled, leading him out of the crowd and towards one of the many empty rooms, Hoseok holding her close to hide his boner.

A voice told him no. To stop. But it wasn’t enough. Not when he was feeling like this. Like anything was possible.

If Jimin could do whatever he wanted, why couldn’t he too?

The dark room made his darkest dreams a reality. For when he looked at that girl again, he saw you. It was so easy to turn her into you.

As soon as he kissed her, she melted into his arms. You melted into his arms.

It was your body, the one he craved so much. He could already imagine your sweet moans, his name coming from your lips over and over again. How you would shudder underneath his body.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He was so horny and he needed his release already. He really didn’t care anymore, about anything.

As he pound into her body, he felt glad that he could do whatever he wanted. Because that’s all she was to him in that moment. A body.

Sweat poured down his face as he thrust into her mercilessly. He gasped at how hot she felt around his cock, giving him every sensation he needed.

It felt so fucking good and it was only a few minutes before he reached his high, climaxing hard and coming inside her.

He didn’t care if she didn’t come. He just wanted to hold her then, like he held you so many times in his arms. He missed it.

Instead she just mumbled something about him not lasting long enough and reached for his hand, bringing it down to her clit.

He didn’t move at all, still coming down from his high. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t had sex in a while, maybe he was just that horny, or maybe it was the drug, but it was one of the best orgasms he ever experienced.

She kissed his shoulder and talked to him but he didn’t hear it. Finally quitting, she got dressed and left the room.

Hoseok left the room about thirty minutes later. He went straight to the DJ and gave him a break, taking his spot and feeling like he had more than enough energy to play for the rest of the night.

________

You sat outside the trailer in a plastic chair, watching the clouds roll by as the sun set.

He walked out of the tavern and didn’t glance at you as he made his way into the trailer.

Only the rocks underneath his feet made sound as he stepped on them.

You wanted to apologize for making him upset. For pushing him away when all you had were each other. He just wanted to see you happy.

He was your best friend, your partner. Not talking to each other was the last thing you guys needed.

Finally mustering up the courage, you decided to talk to him.

He was in the shower when you entered the trailer again. It was almost dinner time so you started boiling some water and started thinking about what to say.

When he got out, he threw his clothes into the hamper and stood there facing away from you, gripping the hamper with one hand.

“Jimin…” you began nervously.

He lowered his head and then straightened up, turning around and making his way over to you.

Without warning he grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you. His thumbs gentle against your cheeks. You parted your lips in surprise. He kissed you again and again, moving his lips against yours. Your cheeks hot under his touch.

When he pulled away he held you close, allowing you to hide your face in his neck. Your heart raced against his chest.

You hugged him back, feeling like you just had your breath taken away.

“How do you feel Y/N?”

“Scared.” You breathed.

“Is it because of me? Do you feel something for me? Because I understand. I feel guilty too. I want to love you without feeling guilt, is that such a bad thing Y/N?”

“We can’t Jimin.” You whispered.

“Why not?” He tilted you head up.

His eyes stared down into yours with sadness.

“I can feel your heart beating Y/N.” He pressed his forehead against yours, staring at your lips. “Your lips respond to mine.” He kissed your cheeks, returning his forehead to yours. “And your cheeks blush every time.”

“The way you hold onto me. The way you say you need me, but I need you. I never felt anything like this Y/N. I love you. I’m not scared to love you.”

The words leaving his lips, so seriously. It was a confession from Park Jimin.

He knew how he could make you feel. He knew and he wanted it all. He wanted to cross that line and stab Hoseok in the back once again.

“Jimin.” You protested, tears falling down your cheeks and he wiped them away immediately.

He kissed your cheek again, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his body.

You fit perfectly into his arms. It felt right. There was denying it.

“I know you want me too. I can feel it. I know you. You said it before we’re the same. We’re perfect for each other. I can make you happy Y/N. You don’t have to be scared of loving me. We’re never going back, and they’ll never find us…I understand if you love him too, but I can make you forget him.”

“I don’t want to forget him.”

“Well that’s too bad, because you have to. We have to.”

“What if I can’t?”

“You will. Trust me. That’s how people are. If you don’t want to do this just say so. Because I’m not like Hobi. I like to be clear about my things. I don’t think I’ve ever fallen in love until now and I’m serious about you. So stop fighting it. Please. Or else say it. Say you don’t want me. Say you don’t love me and I’ll choose to believe it.”

He lowered his head, closing his eyes and waited for you to make your choice. In that moment he looked so vulnerable.

You knew that you would keep thinking about Hoseok. That Jimin would know every time you thought about Hoseok. But Jimin was right. You would never see Hoseok again.

Your tears weren’t for you or for Jimin, they were for Hoseok, who was your lifeline that was getting cut off right now. Any foolish hope that maybe one day you could see him again, that was over now.

So long as never seeing him again remained a fact, was dead to you, or you were dead to him. Jimin was asking you to forget that love and start a new one.

It was killing him too, knowing he was pushing his memories of Hoseok away also. Many more memories than you had. Jimin was willing to do that because of how much he loved you.

He was the only person you felt comfortable with from the moment you met. With Hoseok, you had no choice but it was easy to feel comfortable around him. With Jimin it was instant, you remembered. Even as just friends, any form of skin ship completely natural. Just like Hoseok.

Hoseok was warm and life itself, but Jimin was a fire igniting your soul. Even now there was an invisible force keeping you in his arms, and you wouldn’t be able to move away even if you wanted to. Like a silent string of energy connecting your hearts together.

You shook your head at his words. “No. I love you. I love you Jimin.”

_______________________

Part 19

[joshuazev]

On spanning time:

Today was as low-key an uneventful as I wanted it to be and it was nice to have a day like that because I hadn’t had one for a while.  From a stripped down perspective, I saw two movies, ate some pizza, met up with a buddy from UW, and ate some Italian.  I didn’t need anything more from the day.  The first movie was, “The Florida Project,” a movie that a lot of people that I knew liked and one that had received favorable reviews.  I didn’t know what to expect at all and in the first few minutes wondered whether I would enjoy it, but after settling in my seat and keeping my focus, I came out of the theatre really grateful that I had stayed the course and am still ruminating over its contents while I write.  It followed this motel right outside of Disney World in Orlando and was centered on these young kids and their families in what a Brazilian tourist described as a “favela.”  The cinematography was absolutely incredible and almost all of the images were so rich with color and vibrancy that even without the story and the sounds it would have looked beautiful.  The performances were stellar, from the young kids (the main young girl) to Willem Defoe, to the mother.  They were real.  Real and rugged.  And in many ways the movie reminded me of a movie called, “American Honey” because it focused on a part of the country that we don’t really hear about, know much about, or pay attention to.  When you live in a big city it can feel like everyone else is just on the periphery.  That was the case in this movie, for sure, and I loved how they used Disney World as a backdrop because you don’t think of anything outside that area.  Truthfully, what percentage of people going to visit Mickey Mouse are thinking of traveling or driving through the neighborhoods directly outside.  In other ways, the camera angles and style of shooting reminded me of the first part of “Moonlight,” when Chiron is a young kid.  Whoever is finding these young kid actors deserves a wage increase.  I wonder if the business of kid acting is a little exploited to some degree, but maybe that’s a question for a different day.  Regardless of whether or not that’s true, I am constantly baffled at how young actors can give such brilliant performances and interpretations of such complex characters.  I don’t remember being an over-thinker when I was super young.  Maybe that’s their key.  They are so in tune with their emotions.  Still, these kids go to such depths as these characters.  It’s unbelievable.  The last couple of scenes of the film take you on a roller coaster that I think you can expect, but still can’t be entirely ready for.  I don’t want to ruin the movie for any potential viewers, but every character is captured so perfectly and even the ending, which I’ve been thinking about since the credits start rolling is as exceptional as it is memorable.  These kids do not live easy lives, so when one of the characters, who is so young, starts crying for the first time despite everything she’s been through, you start to really get hit hard.  The more I think about the movie, the more I like it.  

The other film started off in a slower fashion for a couple of reasons.  First off, I tried using my Movie Pass for the second time, but apparently you can’t use it for more than one movie a day.  My soul had been dealt a crushing blow.  Just kidding, but it did kind of defeat the purpose of seeing a second movie.  Whatever.  Two movies for $15, $7.50 a pop ain’t that bad.  It was funny because I could tell that the idea of me using my movie pass and not paying anything and my buddy, who didn’t have it, paying $15 bucks kind of bothered him a little bit.  Maybe I got what I deserved.  I had to laugh because it was a similar reaction to when I asked my roommate if he wanted to see a movie with me and he said no because I wasn’t going to be spending any money.  It seems like this movie pass is only compatible with people who also have movie pass.  The ones that don’t seem to get a little sensitive…and for good reason.  My buddy Neil and I were having so much trouble deciding on a movie.  Either I didn’t want to see a movie he wanted to see or vice versa.  Finally, he suggested Shape of Water which, I’ll admit, I didn’t really wan’t to see, but I hadn’t seen him for so long that I thought, why not, I’ll see it if he wants to (I mean I’m not paying anything, right?).  At the end of the movie, he tells me how he saw the trailer for the movie we just watched and didn’t like it, and I’m thinking, “What the fuck!”  We had a good laugh and exchanged some shit talking.  I told him, “Why didn’t you wanna see one of the other movies?”  He goes, “They all kind of looked like shit.”  I go, “There were like 15 movies!?”  He goes, “Eh, yeah, no.”  It was beautiful.  Anyway, he received some karma and I paid $15 bucks to see this movie with him.  The trailers for the movie sucked.  Like really bad, which I’ll get to a little later.  The start of the feature was a little slow and after going in and out for the first fifteen minutes or so, he nudged me and I was back on track with him.  Hopefully I didn’t offend him by dozing off.  The movie had its good moments.  I like Guillermo Del Toro even though I don’t think he’s been able to match the greatness of Pan’s Labyrinth, but luckily the movie had Octavia Spencer, Richard Jenkins, and my man Michael Shannon, who finds new ways to be sickening and evil and truly just a psychotic son-of-a-bitch in every subsequent movie.  His ability should never be questioned, but I think it’s almost a curse that he has to be as good as he has been in the evil roles that he’s been cast as.  What will the depths be for him?  He was the highlight of “Nocturnal Animals.”  He was the best part of “Take Shelter.”  The best part of “Revolutionary Road.”  Heard he was great in “99 Homes.”  Will he ever be cast as a kind father though?  As a quote on quote “good guy”?  Or is he not drawn to those roles?  Without those actors the movie would have failed.  Instead it was just a pretty good movie, with one scene that was particularly melodramatic that I didn’t think needed to be in there at all and I actually thought took away from my appreciation of the movie as a whole.  Both movies had particular scenes that were risky and made them what they were.  One failed and one succeeded.  Without them they would have been solid, good movies.  Because of them, one was great and one wasn’t.  

This is a perfect segue to my problem with reviewers nowadays and I think there are plenty of ways to look at the current state of movie reviews.  In general, movies aren’t doing as good as they once did with respect to non-blockbusters.  If you aren’t a summer comic movie then your road is that much harder, but all of these so-called really really good movies that have been really well reviewed have not been very good, in my opinion.  “The Disaster Artist.”  Great reviews.  Poop.  “The Shape of Water.”  Great reviews.  Meh.  What are people looking for anymore?  Or are the reviews even reflections of what the critics are looking for and more so what they need the people to read in order to go spend money to go to the theaters and watch the movies?  This has been a weak year, in my opinion.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  Hollywood and independent cinema are having a tough time of it, but shouldn’t honesty and integrity still be honored?  Enough of the bullshit.  Now…on the flipside, you could argue that it’s necessary.  Especially in New York.  I might have mentioned this again, but a bad review from the Times or the New Yorker can single handedly end a movie’s ability to grow, sprout, and flourish.  That’s completely fucked.  It’s one person’s viewpoint but because they are the two most widely respected and recognized publications in the countries arts capital it carries more than the normal weight.  So, in that sense, you can see why they are a little more lax.  It all feeds into the awards machine.  The globes.  The oscars.  Movies have a long way to go.  And it starts with “The Florida Project” seeing more light.  Long live the festivals.  Long live independent cinema.

My dad has a friend, Hal, who is about ten years older than him and another friend, Don, who is about ten years younger than him.  He’s known them forever.  The guy I was hanging out with today, Neil, is about ten years older than I am.  I’d imagine that beyond just getting along and having similar personalities, the same reason that my dad connects with Hal and Don is the same reason that I connect with Neil.  Younger brothers.  Older brothers.  It’s a cool thing to be close with someone that is from a different generation, a different decade.  Neil is the most Italian person I know.  Today I woke up with my face planted down in the pillow and I get a call from him and we start shooting the shit, him talking in his perfect Italian accent, rich with family history and the rest from impeccable observation and me in my best imitation New York Italian voice.  I think that talking through half of the pillow really locks in the accent, if you ask me.  We got some Spaghetti and Meatballs at this famous spot in Soho called, “Fanelli Cafe,” a classic joint with the checkered red and white tables, pictures of old school boxers on the walls and one sip water glasses that need to be refilled every two seconds but aren’t for about every five-ten minutes.  He’s going upstate to Rochester to see his family for Christmas and invited me to go with him.  His dad apparently is heating the oven up and making a seven fish stew or something or other.  I could smell the aroma from the description.

Christmas is Monday.  2018 right around the corner.  Chopping it up and shooting the shit with my brother.  A movie a day makes the time go away.  

[suzannezehrius]

Proven Professionals

Since then, the company — based in Prairieville, Louisiana, just southeast of Baton Rouge — has evolved into a roughly $10 million-a-year company and a regional player in the industrial cleaning industry. It primarily serves pipeline, chemical and petrochemical customers in Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi and Texas, but has worked for customers as far away as California and Utah. Along the way, the company also expanded its services from just industrial vacuuming to hydroblasting and hydroexcavating.

Many things have changed over the past 20 years, but one thing has remained constant: an emphasis on professional service that helps build customer relationships and generate word-of-mouth referrals.

Primary goals

Professionalism takes many forms at Pro Serve. For starters, consider its fleet of technologically advanced equipment, including 14 vacuum trucks and 14 hydroblasting units. Then there’s a wide array of service offerings, aimed at fulfilling customers’ various needs. In addition, the company emphasizes employee safety, which is critical to serving the markets in which Pro Serve operates. And last but not least, a sharp focus on quality service.

“Our main goal is to provide safe, quality service ­— go in and get out and do a job safely,” Baron says. “We always want to prove to our customers that they were justified in hiring us.”

But for Baron, being a professional also means knowing his own limitations. As such, he says he’s always hired people whose skills shore up his deficiencies. “I know my capabilities and my limitations, so I surround myself with people whose strengths outweigh my weaknesses,” he notes. Moreover, he doesn’t hesitate to subcontract work to supplement the company’s services when needed — a philosophy that requires maintaining good relationships with competitors.

“The market has changed a lot in the last 40 years,” he points out. “It used to be that we didn’t talk to competitors, and now we talk all the time. We realize that our company can’t be all things to everybody, so subcontracting is important to us.” It’s also more cost-effective to periodically hire subcontractors for services that Pro Serve doesn’t offer, rather than investing in new machines that could very well sit idle after a project concludes.

Driven to succeed

After selling hydroblasting and vacuum services for two different companies for more than 10 years, Baron was positioned for success. “I pretty much knew I could run my own company. It was just a matter of getting financing. I saw that people were making good money (serving) the chemical and petrochemical industries, so I knew that was the market I wanted to get into.”

Baron’s motivation was simple. “I knew I was never going to get wealthy working for other people,” he says.

In the early years, the company’s main market was industrial vacuuming for petrochemical customers. But around 2003, the company diversified by entering the hydroblasting industry after Baron hired Curtis Lonidier, an experienced hydroblasting operations manager who now runs that end of the company. The motivation: a much larger market.

“If you took all the air-moving (vacuum cleaning) work on the Gulf Coast versus hydroblasting, the latter offered five times more volume,” he explains. “It presented a much bigger market and more opportunities.” On the other hand, profit margins weren’t as good because of rampant lowballing on contract bids, especially on projects that used reverse auctions for bidding.

“We lost a lot of business in reverse auctions,” he recalls. “We know what we have to charge to stay in business. You’ve got to pick and choose your battles. Most guys become low bidders just to get their foot in the door, but we’d rather go in and explain why our prices are what they are.”

Low-bid companies can’t afford to invest in good equipment or pay employees enough to minimize turnover, Baron explains. “Those kinds of companies are going to do five or 10 times the business I do, but at 50 percent less profit margins than I do, and I don’t understand that mentality. You just hope that customers understand it’s no bargain to go with the low bid and get low-quality work.”

Enter hydroexcavating

In 2007, Pro Serve continued to diversify its services by entering the market for hydroexcavating. Baron’s son, Ronnie Jr., urged him to make the move, sensing that the hydroexcavating market was about to explode — especially after the federal government said contractors could no longer use backhoes for excavating on government-funded projects.

“We were there at the beginning and really took advantage of that,” he says. “We got a lot of crossover work by leveraging our existing customer base. Our hydroexcavating work has grown and grown and grown. It probably generates about 75 percent of our total gross revenues.”

Offering an array of services has benefited the company. Baron points out that if customers like the service you provide and ask you to do something else for them, they’ll go somewhere else if you don’t provide that service. In addition, the work Pro Serve performs in the company’s two primary customer bases — pipelines and refineries — peaks at different times of the year. These offsetting cycles provide the company with steadier work and more consistent cash flow.

“Pipeline work occurs mostly in warmer months, while refineries schedule their major turnarounds (scheduled maintenance shutdowns) in winter because it’s too hot in summer to do that kind of work,” Baron explains. “So it’s lucky for us that they don’t compete with each other.”

On the flip side, Baron only expands into services that fall within the company’s realm of expertise, which affords it better quality control. “You can only go so far,” he notes. “We’ve been asked to get into other service lines, but we just can’t be everything to everybody. We’ve stuck primarily with air moving and spinoffs in that base market, like hydroexcavating and hydroblasting.”

Strength in numbers

Since its inception, Pro Serve has amassed a large fleet of equipment. The company owns 14 vacuum trucks and 13 of them are equipped with hydroexcavating packages to maximize utility. The fleet includes 10 GapVax units and four Guzzlers made by Vactor Manufacturing. The trucks feature 10- to 16-cubic-yard debris tanks, 800- to 1,000-gallon water tanks, water pumps manufactured by Cat and Giant (1,500 to 2,500 psi at 5 to 20 gpm) and Hibon blowers (2,000 to 5,800 cfm). They’re used mostly at chemical plants and to do hydroexcavating (line exposure) for pipeline companies.

Pro Serve has also invested in 14 hydro blasters built by NLB Corp., Jetstream of Houston and StoneAge with water pump specifications from 10,000 to 40,000 psi at 30 to 100 gpm. The units are primarily used to lance and clean tube bundles at refineries and chemical plants. The company also owns a Vermeer air excavation machine for smaller jobs. It features a 1-cubic-yard debris tank and a 1,000 cfm blower.

The company relies on a Myers trailer jetter for cleaning small-diameter sewer lines, a pipeline inspection camera system made by Sewer Equipment, four cart-mounted pressure washers made by Hydro-Quip Manufacturing & Supply, and a multi-tube lancer built by NLB.

Safe operation of all this equipment also played a key role in the company’s growth. “In 20 years, we’ve never had any issues with our safety record,” Baron says. “That’s probably the hardest thing to maintain for a small company like us.”

Larger companies with hundreds of employees, for example, can suffer on-the-job accidents and still maintain a sufficient experience modification ratio (or EMR, a number used by insurance companies to gauge the past cost of injuries as well as the chances for future accidents). But smaller companies are at a disadvantage because just one accident results in a dramatically larger EMR ratio because the pool of employees is significantly smaller.

“You can go in a plant and do unbelievable work, but you’re out the door if you have one or two accidents, because the EMR ratio goes up faster proportionately,” Baron explains.

Shortage of skilled labor

Finding skilled, quality employees to operate the company’s expansive roster of equipment is one of the biggest business challenges Pro Serve faces. Baron says he read one study that showed it takes about five years to learn all the intricacies and nuances and become a highly qualified hydroexcavation equipment operator. That makes it critical to hire the right employees, as well as retain them for more than just a year or so, he says.

But that’s not an easy task. Baron says he’s lucky to find one qualified employee out of 100 interviews. “It’s that bad out there,” he notes. “That’s why we do everything we can to hold onto as many employees as we can. We pay them well, pay for most of their health insurance and give year-end bonuses.” Moreover, Baron says he gives $100 to any employee who refers a potential employee who gets hired and stays with the company for 90 days.

Lack of qualified employees is the No. 1 inhibitor to future growth, Baron says. “We’ve been 100 percent tapped out this whole year. Every piece of equipment and all our people are working. We’ve probably turned down 20 or 25 jobs.”

Nonetheless, he’s still optimistic about future growth. One of the company’s primary customer bases — oil-related businesses — is expected to boom again for the next three to five years.

“So things look great for us, provided we can hire enough people. I’m more optimistic today than I’ve been in a long time.”

from Cleaner Magazine | For Drain and Pipe Cleaning, Inspection and Rehabilitation Services - Editorial http://ift.tt/2qcESaK