#also I stayed up an hour past bedtime writing all of this out I was COMPELLED

[galactic-pirates]

Romance Tropes Bracket

@purlturtle is doing this really cool thing and they said I could ramble about it too! And how could I resist talking story? Do you know me? Hahaha.

Anyway they made this spreadsheet and screenshot and you can check them out on their post (clicky here).

So in the BLUE CORNER

Bodyguard vs Love Triangle

Workplace vs High School

Second Chances vs. Made A Bet (90s style)

Sibling's Best Friend vs Nanny/Governess

Rocking that RED we have

Grumpy/Sunshine vs Someone Else's SO

Accidental Pregnancy vs Just To Get It Out Of Our Systems

Family Feud (Romeo&Juliet style) vs Holiday Romance

Billionaire vs Soulmates

The sun shines down on YELLOW

Mistaken Identity vs Age Gap

Love Potion/Aphrodisiac vs Only One Bed

Amnesia vs Kissing Lessons

Forced Proximity (road trip etc.) vs Secretly a celeb/royal

Aaaaaand finally working that GREEN

Marriage of Convenience vs Fake Dating

Snowed In vs Friends To Lovers

Bad Boy/Girl vs Sworn Off Love

Supernatural (vampires etc.) vs Enemies To Lovers

Under the cut for my picks and rambles!

Bodyguard vs Love Triangle I don't do Love Triangle, either pick one and then let everyone move on or all be together as a trio. My very first real 'ship' had a sort of love triangle (the lady dated one guy, then the other, then back to the first etc.) but I only shipped her with the first guy (it was Jack Malone and Sam Spade from Without a Trace). So the whole 'love triangle' aspect was lost on me as I just did not care.

Bodyguard though... that has serious potential. So much so I have some vague concepts for an original novel trilogy based around it. Bodyguard is sort of what Eve Baird does on the Librarians (Guardian) but also not. I mean it can depend a little bit. I like the whole protective part to a point, but not if it takes the protectees agency away. I'm not fond of 'damsel', I would rather they kick butt together.

WINNER: Bodyguard

Workplace vs High School This one is super easy - has to be Workplace because High School = kids. I have no interest in teenagers. Teachers maybe but that would be a workplace. Even when I was a kid I didn't write about kids. I skipped the whole YA thing completely.

WINNER: Workplace

Second Chances vs. Made a Bet (90's Style) I had to ask what 'Made a Bet' was because I didn't know. @purlturtle suggested it was like a '10 things I hate about you' thing, where they date on a bet and then catch real feelings. Now catching feels - that's cool, but the whole bet thing? I don't know...

I did write a fic prompt once where they were in a bar and two characters were challenging each other to see who could pull the guy they picked out. I suppose that's ok as a concept. I didn't develop it so it clearly didn't grab me that much though.

Second Chances though - this I like. I mean I suppose there's the whole "if it didn't work out before, why would it work now?" question, as in their relationship failed for a reason. But maybe that's because they needed to work on themselves. Sometimes people are just idiots and make assumptions and don't communicate properly. I'm actually writing a serial at the moment with a second chance romance in it (divorced ex-wives have to work together). So this does grab me.

WINNER: Second Chances

Sibling's Best Friend vs Nanny/Governess Got to be honest neither of these jump out at me as being something I'm really drawn to. Although I am sniggering a little bit as I think Nanny/Governess is a favourite of Janeway's (wasn't that her preferred holonovel?). So I'm tempted to vote for Janeway but ehhh. It has a bit of a power dynamic vibe I don't like.

Sibling's Best Friend is very... cute I guess. I don't really have much to say about it to be honest. I'm going to make it win on default but meh.

WINNER: Sibling's Best Friend

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Mistaken Identity vs Age Gap I have written Age Gap - obviously, as I wrote a hell of a lot of Rumbelle (Rumple and Belle, Once Upon a Time) back in the day. Only... I got to be honest I never really saw it as an age gap thing. It totally was and by a LOT because Rumple was semi-immortal as the dark one. He was a couple of centuries old when they met but... age gap romances usually make me uncomfortable because of the inherent power dynamic. Rumple had so little self-confidence that just wasn't an issue.

Mistaken Identity - "do you let them hate the real you, or love the fake you" - HELL YES! Quote from Sophie Devereaux there and the espionage/heist fan in me is compelled. Also superheroes I guess ala Supercorp. Give me all the stories about masks people wear and just wanting to be loved for who they really are.

WINNER: Mistaken Identity

Love Potion/Aphrodisiac vs Only One Bed *cough* show me a person who wasn't read a few sex pollen fics in their time in fandom, and I'll show you a liar. I jest, I jest but also not really. It's not a bad setup for a PWP so long as consent is clearly established and we know before they are under the influence that they are into one another. I suppose there could be a fair bit of plot in terms of consequences but I have no wish personally to write about consent issues.

Only One Bed though - CLASSIC! I mean it's iconic. It's two people pining like idiots, putting up pillow walls between them, the inevitable cuddling in the night and then awkward aroused awakenings. I wrote this in my Conspiracy Afloat fanfic and I'm sure I'll write it again. It's the classic and you can't go wrong with a classic.

WINNER: Only One Bed

Amnesia vs Kissing Lessons Kissing Lessons? This is a new one on me but not hard to figure out. It feels quite juvenile, like maybe a good match for the teenagers in High School?

Amnesia though - oh yes! I don't know if I first loved this trope when I saw the Harrison Ford movie Regarding Henry, or if I saw the trope elsewhere first, but it's very good. The "I'm sorry who are you?" "I'm your wife" and not remembering, having to fall in love again. The agony of the lost shared memories, of not recalling the life they had together, of making new memories. Hell yeah!

WINNER: Amnesia

Forced Proximity (road trip etc.) vs Secretly a celeb/royal Forced Proximity has it's place as a supplement. Like I talked earlier about the Second Chance divorced exes who had to work together. They are getting that Second Chance because of the forced proximity. As a trope on it's own though? Ehhh.

The Secretly a Celeb/Royal... depends if you can expand that. I have long loved the idea of some super rich person being incognito because 'Rich people wear expensive clothes and drive posh cars and go fancy places' and so seeing Joe or Jane Regular, they think 'oh you look like X' rather than thinking they are actually X. I planned out a Rumbelle fic to this premise that I never wrote, but I swear I will write this someway, someday. It partly goes back to the Mistaken Identity and masks, and do they love the real you. With money, meeting someone and them not knowing you are rich is perhaps one of the few ways to be sure about that. But at what point do you tell the truth? The longer it goes on the more feelings of betrayal there are - very similar trope really. Now obviously royal is a whole thing on it's own but put the 'secretly' in front of it and it becomes something else.

WINNER: Secretly a celeb/royal

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Grumpy/Sunshine vs Someone Else's SO Someone Else's SO sounds like cheating/infidelity and I'm not interested in that. Just pick a side and then be honest about it.

I think Grumpy/Sunshine... I'm trying to think of an example. I suppose perhaps I tend to interpret it more as somebody who is reserved vs. someone who is social. Or possibly someone who is cynical/snarky/sarcastic vs. someone who is optimistic/positive/kind. I have definitely written this and will definitely write more of it. It definitely has it's place but equality works too.

WINNER: Grumpy/Sunshine

Accidental Pregnancy vs Just To Get It Out Of Our Systems Honestly not a fan of either, but definitely not a fan of oops pregnancy. It's just not a conflict I am interested in. It doesn't compel me. To be honest neither does the 'Get it out of our systems' because... well it seems odd. Like if you like one another then why is it a one and done? This wins by default but meh.

WINNER: Just To Get It Out Of Our Systems

Family Feud (Romeo & Juliet style) vs Holiday Romance A feud does have potential, the whole 'forbidden love' aspect. I have written this. I have a daughter of politically powerful parents falling in love with a rebel in my Steampunk AU. That's not a family feud, more of a civil class war thing.

Holiday Romance is pretty cool. The whole 'we really click but there is a time limit on it' thing. I did write this once (a Rushbelle fic). As a standard trope it's not something that interests me that much. Now a romance developing during the holidays as like a mutually pining idiots friends to lovers type thing - that's more what I like. I planned and never wrote 2 Bering and Wells christmas fics. First was a fake dating AU where Myka claims Helena is her girlfriend to shut up her sister only to have to invite Helena for the holidays (I know, it's cliche but fun). The other was canon-divergent off season 3 I guess where Helena rejoined the Warehouse and Myka invited her as a 'friend' for Christmas so she wasn't alone at the B&B. Only there was a mix-up and they went to Myka's parents, who weren't home (at the sisters) and they get snowed in, power cuts (huddling together for warmth), only one bed - basically every trope you can think of and hey - Forced Proximity lol - and it gets them to admit feelings. The holidays can add an intensity but neither of these two were technically holiday romance.

WINNER: Holiday Romance

Billionaire vs Soulmates I wrote Soulmates!! It was a Sanctuary fic (Time Will Tell) and it started off as a thought experiment/self-challenge. I don't like the idea of fate and then everything being happy because you have found your 'one' (or in my OT3 case, two). So I really pushed hard on the 'love is a choice' angle, and that lots of soulmate relationships failed because relationships take work. The 'this could be your future but only if you choose it, only if you work for it'. Made me love it. It was fun to explore how having this ticking timer could affect people's personalities, the development of the relationship (having the certainty could be paradoxically paralysing). What that did to society and prejudices etc.

Now of course Billionaire does sort of go back to what I described earlier with the 'Secret Celeb' trope. Having money is kind of a fantasy and it makes for a fun world. You can have them sail around in a yacht, go skiing and sit by the fire in a wood lodge, private jet travel etc. but I don't know. Apart from the 'do you like me or just my money' conflict, having a ton of money is just like so what? It removes worry about paying bills and buying food and that's awesome, takes those stresses off a relationship, but if you don't have to be a billionaire for that, and that as the sole trope... where's the story?

WINNER: Soulmates

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Marriage of Convenience vs Fake Dating OH NO YOU DIDN'T?!?! I have to choose? I suppose they are very similar. It's the pretend relationship and then the 'oh no I caught feelings' and that like Only One Bed is a complete classic.

I'm going to go with Fake Dating purely because it's likely to come up more. Although I can think of so many ideas for Marriage of Convenience. They are both so good! They are both winners in my heart.

WINNER: Fake Dating

Snowed In vs Friends To Lovers This is like a situation vs. a dynamic. Snowed In is quite specific. I talked about it earlier with the Bering and Wells christmas fic. It's not something that will happen in a lot of stories because some places don't have snow, or it's not set in winter etc.

Whereas Friends to Lovers is basically everything I write ever. How can people be lovers if they aren't friends? If they don't like one another. Friendship is the foundation. Even when I wrote Enemies to Lovers (Timeless, Flynn and Lucy) there was a loooooong stop off at friends in the middle.

WINNER: Friends to Lovers

Bad Boy/Girl vs Sworn Off Love Ok this feels like an unpopular opinion but if they are actually a 'bad boy/girl' then no, just no. If they are misunderstood, they have a heart of gold etc. then they aren't really 'bad' and so it's just aesthetics or something? Like pretending to be a rebel but not really. I don't get it to be honest.

Sworn Off Love though... so much yes. Think about Helena who didn't want to love, who intended their heart to be frozen, to no longer really beat because it belonged to Christina, their daughter who was gone. But Helena hadn't reckoned on Myka who found a way in anyway, and it was agony, but that love saved the world.

WINNER: Sworn Off Love

Supernatural (vampires etc.) vs Enemies To Lovers Ok my previous mention of Flynn and Lucy aside I really don't go in for Enemies to Lovers. If people are enemies they hate each other - hate is the opposite of love. Yes it's an extreme emotion but I don't get how it works except with a very long stop-off in friends first, and then that feels like not really Enemies to Lovers anymore.

Supernatural though can be fun. I have a long fascination with immortality. One partner living forever and the other one getting older, dying. I hate it, I hate it so much because it hurts, and yet it is compelling. I want to fix it. That's probably it. Carol and Maria from Captain Marvel. Breaks my heart :(

Doesn't just have to be immortality either. I know Harry Potter shouldn't be mentioned today but the Remus and Tonks relationship had potential as a dynamic. Remus as a werewolf saw himself as less than, as not being human - not being WORTHY. It's that kind of self-hate which makes me bond with characters (Rumple had the same thing going on). But the whole I love you, all parts of you, even the monster parts - that acceptance of the flaws. That's good stuff.

WINNER: Supernatural

I will post up the next bracket when @purlturtle does theirs! Though we did pick some different things so their bracket will look different from mine. It's going to be interesting!! :)

[mournings-stars]

Hey !!

How about writing romantic head-cannons with the hazbin hotel cast where the reader (could be AFAB) and has catlike features but also has a cat like personality?? (Like the reader is grumpy , tired , always frowning etc)

Obviously take your time , but hopefully this request will reach you well :33

catlike!reader x hazbin cast

anon u literally read my mind i was just sitting down to write something like this so i got u (charlie and vaggie can go together but i made them separate) also im including angel so reader is not fem but they can still be afab if u want — also also, i only included the actual hotel cast, so if you want more characters lmk!!

charlie

you know those cats that hate everyone except one person, that would be you with charlie

charlie won’t bother you or pester you about waking up for activities because you’ll just come when you can, and once you do you’re very engaged (only because it’s her)

as soon as you lie across her lap she makes sure she does not move 1. because you’re warm and she loves cuddling with you and 2. because if you got up and made a face at her before going to sit somewhere else she’d be devastated

she knows just where to scratch, massage, and pet you to get you to fall asleep or relax — she’s put very special attention into memorizing these things and literally everything else about you

vaggie

you can be grumpy together (mostly with alastor, she values your grumpy support when it comes to the radio demon)

vaggie loves to cuddle — if you come to sit behind her legs or between them she could stay like that for hours or just fall asleep

you tend to sleep in with her, 1. because she, like charlie, would rather be still for hours than have you grumpy and moving away from her, and 2. she could use some relaxing time with you before having to work

she can’t keep up with your naps, but she will pause what she’s doing to give you a little kiss on the forehead so she can snap a picture of you stretching and curling back up

husker

husk is already a little cat like (he’s literally a cat) so yall either get along great or you’re arguing all the time then sleep together (yk those cats that are hissing and growling and shit then cuddle while they sleep… yeah)

he lets you sit on the bar, but only because if he told you to get down you’d start knocking things off the counter “accidentally”

whenever he sits on the couch, if you’re not already asleep, you’re quick to sit next to him and lie on his lap. he might grumble a little, but he’s definitely running his hands over your hair and listening to you pur as you fall sleep

loves bedtime — as soon as you’re in either of your rooms, the first thing you’re doing is cuddling up and he might not admit it to anyone, but it’s his favorite part of the day

alastor

you know those cats that, no matter how much you move, they just won’t get off of you? thats you with al

he reluctantly lets you lie on him, but in the same way he lets niffty climb all over him, he’s not going to stop you. especially because he doesn’t mind how warm you are. not that he’d say it, but he does find you lying on him very comfortable after a long day and will definitely use it as an excuse as to why he can’t get up to do whatever someone is asking for

“can’t you see i’m needed elsewhere?” “i’m very busy at the moment!” and he’s just drinking coffee, reading the paper, and sitting with your head on his lap

when you’re alone, he’ll tell you that you’re welcome to lie on his lap “if you truly need to rest”

don’t get grumpy with him though, he’ll get up every time you come to sit with him

angel dust

don’t put it past him, he will carry you around if you’ve been lying on him and he needs to get up because 1. there’s no way he’s waking you up and 2. he’s not about to have you be grumpy that he moved (though there is a chance you’ll be grumpy that he moved you, but at least you’re still warm)

loves cuddling, but his favorite thing is making you purr by massaging your ears out scratching your head while you’re lying on him — and he absolutely loves when you lie on him

yes sitting on the couch is nice, but once he’s lying in his room and you come in and lie on his chest, he’s the happiest he’s ever been. especially after a long day at the studio

if he has to leave while you’re asleep, he’ll leave you food that probably won’t get eating until he comes back and wakes you up by moving your cushion slightly, making you all pouty — which he finds absolutely adorable

he can’t take any pouty/frowning/grumpiness from your seriously when it’s so adorable

sir pentious

you definitely have a bit of similarities when it comes to finding warm spots to relax in, and that probably led to you relaxing together because you refused to move, and he needed to be warm (that’s when he found out he actually enjoyed your company)

as quickly as he let’s you into his workspace, he kicks you out because you just keep knocking shit over, but then he let’s you back in cause you’ll just sit outside the door and sneak back in when he leaves momentarily

once he figures out how to get something warm in his workspace that you’ll just sleep on, he’s happy to have you there. especially because he finds you adorable

he probably stops working to sit with you, or kiss your head, or just wake you up because he does kind of miss you knocking things over even though he can’t stand it

[fireinmoonshot]

let me walk you home | jake 'hangman' seresin x reader

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Reader Words: 1426 A/N: It's been forever since I last wrote anything, so I apologise if this is terrible but I've been in love with Jake since I first saw Top Gun: Maverick last July and really wanted to give writing for him a go and to try and get back into writing!

It was a lot later than you had planned to stay out for, but somehow the Hard Deck was the busiest it’d been all night. It was bustling with people, packed from wall to wall, all drinking, dancing, playing pool and enjoying the late summer Saturday night. 

It was a surprise that you were even here tonight. You were not the type of person to stay out late at night at a bar. In fact, if tonight had gone to plan, you’d be at home with a book or a movie on, enjoying the peace and quiet and feeling cozy. It was Natasha’s fault that you were even at the bar. Your plans had been completely tossed aside because of her.

She’d begged you as soon as work had finished up for the day, insisting that you come along with her and the others for just a few hours. You’d decided that it couldn’t hurt. It was one night, and going out tonight meant that she wouldn’t bug you for at least a few more weeks, so you were happy enough with that.

You were sat at a table in the corner with the rest of your group, all of whom were definitely more than tipsy and were showing no signs of leaving any time soon – with the exception of Jake Seresin, who had surprisingly not consumed much alcohol tonight. You’d heard from the others that he could get pretty rowdy on a Saturday night at the Hard Deck, though from your limited experience, you didn’t quite know what that meant.

Little did you know that you were the reason Jake wasn’t drunk.

The second you’d walked into the bar Jake had been surprised to see you – everyone had. But Jake especially. He’d always been intrigued by you. You were quieter than everyone else, less interested in the drinking, partying lifestyle than everyone else. He’d compared you to Bob for a while there, not just because you were a WSO too but also because your personalities seemed similar, but even Bob was more into the late nights lifestyle than you were. It made Jake want to get to know you. But the problem was, he barely ever actually saw you since you never came out to the bar. 

He had thought tonight might be the night, but he’d been very wrong considering you’d ended up sat between Natasha and Fanboy, both of whom had consumed a fair amount of alcohol and were very talkative. There would be no use talking over the top of them just to try and talk to you.

You stifled a yawn and looked down at your watch. It was just past midnight, and definitely past your bedtime, but the idea of leaving now and trying to push through the big crowd of people all still enjoying their night to get to the door didn’t seem very appealing.

Jake noticed your poor attempt to conceal the yawn and smiled to himself. This really wasn’t your scene, was it? That simple fact made him even more intrigued by you.

It didn’t take much longer for you to start to feel the itch to leave, though. You were tired, and even though you had the day off tomorrow, you had things to do and you didn’t want to be exhausted or have to sleep in a lot in order to feel well rested. And so it was decided – you’d make your way through the crowd to get to the doors.

Across the table, a drunken Payback laughed at something Coyote had said. You leant towards Natasha, sat beside you, who had been talking to Rooster sat on her other side.

“I’m gonna head off,” you told her.

Natasha frowned. “You’re going so soon?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m getting pretty tired.”

“Okay,” she said, a little disappointed. “But get home safe, okay? Text me when you do!”

“Of course, and you get home safe tonight too, okay?”

Natasha pulled you in for an awkward side hug and then went back to her conversation with Rooster after you stood up, excusing yourself quietly from the table of people too caught up in their own conversations to notice you leaving.

Except for Jake, of course.

He huffed. He’d lost his chance to talk to you on the one night you’d come out to join them at the bar. But then he watched you stop as you reached the edge of the crowded dance floor, watched as you looked around, trying to judge a way through the crowd to get to the doors on the other side, and an idea sprung to mind.

Jake stood up from the table, making his way past a few people and over to you. You hadn’t even moved in the time it’d taken him to get over to you. He stopped beside you. 

“You stuck?” He asked, his lips quirking up into a smirk.

You hadn’t even seen him come up beside you and jumped a little at the sound of his voice, eyes moving to look up at him. Stuck? Well… “I’m just trying to judge the best way to get to the exit. I’m not stuck.”

Jake shook his head, amused, then held his hand out to you. “Allow me.”

“Allow you to what?” You looked between his eyes and his hand.

Cute, Jake thought. But this was no time to stand here making idle conversation when his intention was completely clear, at least to him. He’d seen your yawn, he could tell you were tired, and standing around here waiting would just make you more exhausted. 

So, instead of explaining himself, Jake reached down and took your hand in his, entwining your fingers together. “Trust me,” he said, and then he was moving, your hand in his, leading you through the crowd. He swerved around everyone perfectly, not even bumping into anyone. It was as if he was parting the crowd, as if they were all moving for him. With a start, you realised that they probably were. Half the people in this bar that knew Jake Seresin were definitely a little bit scared of him. 

He didn’t let go of your hand until you had gotten out of the crowd and out of the front doors of the bar. You both stood on the deck, the moonlight shining down on you and the sound of the waves in the distance. 

“Thank you,” you said, gesturing back towards the bar. “I guess I was stuck.”

Jake smiled. “It’s no problem, darlin’. Couldn’t have you getting lost in that crowd.”

His words had you smiling against your better judgement. 

“You all right getting home by yourself or do you want me to walk you?”

You raised your eyebrows at him. First he’d held your hand to get you through the crowd and now he was offering to walk you home? What had gotten into Jake Seresin? 

“You don’t have to do that,” you shook your head. 

“And why not?”

“I can walk home by myself, and everyone’s probably wondering where you went.”

Jake shrugged. “Wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me if I let you walk home by yourself though, would it? And I don’t really care if they’re wondering where I went.”

“You don’t?”

“No,” he said. “Out of all the people in there, you’re actually the only one I’ve wanted to talk to all night. But since you ended up sat between the two chatterboxes…” 

Now his words confused you. You looked at him, tilting your head to the side and trying to figure out what was going on. Was he playing a game? Had someone dared him? You’d never seen this side of Jake Seresin. He was always cocky, always honest. But he’d never been someone you’d talked to or spent too much time around. He was more stories than anything else to you. And here he was, telling you that he’d wanted to talk to you all night?

“Did Nat put you up to this?” You asked him hesitantly.

He laughed. “No one put me up to anything, darlin’. Now, please let me walk you home and let me ask you the questions that have been running through my head all night.”

You looked at him for a few moments. Jake Seresin wasn’t a bad guy. He wasn’t going to hurt you, and truthfully you would feel safer having him walk you home. What could go wrong by a simple walk with him?

“Okay, let’s go.”

The smile that appeared on his face made your heart flutter.

[fandomfucker]

heyy, would you be able to write a fluffy rhea x reader one shot please?

one where reader and rhea have been dating for a little bit and reader has a kid (like 1 year old or something), but rhea doesn’t know yet. reader has a conversation with rhea and confesses and rhea is shocked, but asks to meet them. as soon as she meets the baby, rhea falls in love with him/her and adores the baby so much and grows to love him/her like her own. and just make it like really fluffy please?

it’s okay if no ☺️

I don't know a lot about kids so please bear with me, and apologies for taking forever. Please enjoy ❤

Words: 2,336

I was so nervous I could've thrown up.

Rhea and I had been going out for a few months now and she was coming back tomorrow after having not seen her for over two weeks.

And since we've already been going out for a couple of months, I figured it was either now or never with telling her about my daughter, Celia.

She was almost two now and my absolute pride and joy. Her father hadn't been in the picture since before she was born but I wasn't nervous telling Rhea about him. Just her. Because if she wants to have me she has to have my daughter too and if she can't deal with that then...

Let's say that my saying I'm nervous is a severe understatement. I was absolutely terrified.

Neither of us had said it yet, but I love Rhea. So much. So if my having a child is a dealbreaker then I don't even know what I'll do.

Tomorrow I'm going to be picking her up from the airport after her last match against Raquel Rodriguez. They're giving her a two-week injury-scripted break after having been in multiple WWE events each week the past few weeks.

We've both been really looking forward to it and had even started planning some stuff for us to do while she was here. Luckily we actually live only one city apart so she doesn't have to get a hotel or stay at my house, just in case anything goes wrong.

Which, I don't think it will but you never know.

I was currently bathing my daughter before bedtime, the worry must've been evident on my face.

"Mama?" Celia spoke up.

Looking down at her I saw her looking up at me, her eyes fixated on my face. There was a little crease of confusion and concern between her brows.

"Yes, my darling?" I questioned her, bending down to give her forehead a kiss as I filled the plastic cup with water again to rinse her hair out.

"Why sad?" She asked innocently, splashing her rubber duck in the water as she played. This duck was Sir Quacks a Lot, who was married to the other Sir Quacks a Lot. They had drama with the Mrs Quacks a Lot and we're currently in an argument about Baby Quacks a Lot.

"Nothing for you to worry that pretty little head over," I grinned, booping the top of her nose, sending her into a fit of giggles and splashes.

After Celia's bath, I dressed her in the fuzzy brown bear onesie I had found for her not too long ago and put her to bed.

Walking back downstairs after making sure Celia was asleep, all the nerves and doubts I had managed to push aside came back and hit me.

I went to go grab a glass of water, noticing that my hand was starting to shake. I decided to just go straight to bed. After all, Rhea was getting in pretty early so I had to be up and get to the airport also super early. At this point, all I could do was hope that she wouldn't leave me.

-Time Skip-

Waiting at the terminal Rhea would be coming out of with a bouquet of flowers was nerve-wracking as hell. She had texted me the estimated time they were supposed to land but it's never exact so I didn't actually know when she would arrive.

After a little over half an hour, I finally saw her plane land and make its way to the little hallway between the plane and the airport. Another twenty minutes later I saw her. For the first time in over two weeks, we were in the same place at the same time, together.

My breath caught in my throat as I watched her look around for me, our eyes finally meeting from across the room.

I watched as her gorgeous face lit up and she started to make a beeline for me.

Momentarily forgetting my nervousness I grinned and stepped forward to meet her in the middle as we collided into a tight hug.

"Hey, beautiful," I spoke, my voice thickening with emotion.

I felt Rhea release a deep sigh of relief against me before she responded, "Hey, baby."

"I missed you," I croaked into her neck, shoving my face into her and breathing her scent in.

"I missed you too," She replied as she stroked my hair with one hand and my lower back with the other.

Pulling myself away from her I just stood there and stared at her face for a second before speaking, "Let's go home, yeah?"

She nodded and grabbed my hand as we started to walk towards the luggage claim to pick up her suitcase.

"So, are those for me? Or..." Rhea playfully questioned me, trailing off at the end as she gestured to my hand holding her flowers.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. I had completely forgotten about them in my excitement of having her here with me again.

"Yes, they're for you, sorry," I apologized, blushing deeply. She chuckled and took them from me, smelling them before kissing my temple.

"They're beautiful, Love. Just like you," She smirked at me causing me to blush yet again.

I ducked my head down to hide the blush as I grinned widely and giggled.

We made idle talk as we walked to the luggage claim and then grabbed her luggage before making our way to my car.

Getting in the car my previous nervousness hit me again in full force. Pausing to just rest my hands on the steering wheel and take a breather I could feel Rhea turn to me in concern, "What's wrong?"

She was giving me an opening, it was now or never.

"I have something I need to tell you." Slowly I pulled my gaze from the dash of my car to her eyes. Her brows were furrowed in concern and her mouth was pulled into a frown.

"Is everything okay?" She asked sort of hesitantly.

I nodded quickly, "Yeah, it's just...something I haven't told you yet that I probably should have."

Rhea nodded in encouragement for me to continue.

I took a deep breath. "I have a kid."

Silence.

"What?"

"I have a daughter. Her name is Celia. She'll be two in October." I whispered into the quiet, too scared of her reaction to be any louder.

She looked lost in thought for the next few minutes, slumping back against the seat.

"I'm sorry for not telling you but I could never find the right time and-"

Rhea cut me off, "Hold on. Just, stop."

I shut my mouth, terrified out of my mind of what she was going to say next.

"I just need a second to process this."

"Yeah, no I understand. It's a lot to take in." I quietly replied, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered. She sounded choked up and on the verge of tears which made me start crying.

"Because I thought you would leave and I was scared." I sobbed, covering my face with my hands as if to conceal the tears.

"No, no no no no no." Rhea clamored, reaching for me over the console. "I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." She tried to reassure me, smiling softly. "I could never leave my best girl hangin'."

I giggled at the reference to one of my favorite movies ever and wiped my eyes and nose with the back of my sleeve.

"C-can I meet her?" Rhea asked hesitantly, "It's okay if not I completely under-" I leaned over the console and kissed her, effectively shutting her up.

"Of course, you can meet her. She's actually been asking for quite some time now when she gets to meet 'Ree-Ree'." I laughed, recounting the many times she asked for another bedtime story about "Mama's friend".

Rhea beamed and kissed my cheek, reassuring me once again that she was okay with me having a child. We'd be having a more in-depth talk about it later on but right now it was time for them to meet.

We pulled up to my house almost half an hour later, where my sister was watching Celia while I was out. 

Getting out of the car, I grabbed Rhea's luggage for her before she even had a chance to grab it and walked up to the door with my keys. Taking a deep breath I unlocked the door, pushing it open before standing aside for Rhea to walk in first.

She nodded in thanks as she walked through, looking around and taking in her surroundings. My house was a bit more on the unconventional side, being a maximalist and all. 

"Zoey?" I yelled into the house to find her after closing the door behind us. "Kitchen!"

I rolled Rhea's suitcase against the wall a little ways away from the door and motioned for her to put her backpack there as well before following me.

I made my way to the kitchen with Rhea following idly behind, still taking in my house. As soon as I laid eyes on my daughter in her booster seat I smiled and made a beeline for her, making "monster" grabby-hands.

She squealed with delight, grinning madly all the while as I unbuckled her and picked her up above my head, blowing raspberries on her exposed stomach making her squirm and giggle.

Bringing her down to rest on my hip I kissed the top of her head as she buried it into my neck. I turned around when I remembered that we weren't alone.

Zoey, my sister, and Rhea were standing next to each other, both watching the two of us with a smile on their face. I side-hugged Zeoy hello before introducing them to each other.

"It's so nice to finally meet you! I've heard so many things about you and Y/n even made me get into wrestling." Zoey exclaimed excitedly, making Rhea laugh. "I've heard a lot about you as well so it's great to meet you too."

"Well, I better get going I have to run some errands before I get home to let the dogs out." Zoey excused herself, grabbing her bag before making her way back over to me.

"Bye-bye CeCe." She cooed, tickling her neck before giving her forehead a kiss. "I'll see you later, sis," She gave me another side hug.

"Rhea, it was lovely meeting you, maybe we can all get together soon while you're here? Oh! We could do a double date with you two and me and my partner!" She excitedly exclaimed.

"Totally! That sounds great, we'll definitely have to get together. I can't wait!" Rhea replied enthusiastically. Zoey gave Rhea a quick hug before bounding out the door, leaving us alone with my daughter.

Rhea slowly walked up to us, I could read the nervousness on her face.

"CeCe, this is mama's friend Rhea, remember?" I spoke gently to Celia. She lifted her head from my neck and looked at Rhea with her big beautiful eyes. I could see Rhea's initial hesitation melt away as they locked eyes.

"Hello there, little one." Rhea greeted her softly, waggling her fingers at her like how she does when she's in character. 

Celia must have recognized either her name or her picture because she then started to bounce in my arms as she giggled and held out her arms to Rhea to hold her.

"You wanna hold her?" I asked her, shifting my hold a bit on CeCe.

"Um, I-I don't know. I'm not really sure how I should hold her." Rhea stammered.

"Just like this," I replied, gesturing goofily to how she rested on my hip. 

"O-okay," She half-smiled nervously, grabbing Celia under her arms and hefting her gently onto her hip. Celia giggled and wiggled around the whole time, putting her hands on Rhea's face and patting them around.

"Sorry, she likes to do that," I apologized embarrassed.

"It's all good," Rhea laughed, gently removing Celia's hands from her face.

Grinning at my two favorite girls I made an offer they couldn't refuse. "How about y'all go and play while I go and make some breakfast yeah?" 

"Yes!" Celia squealed, squirming enough that Rhea put her down. "That sounds great, Love." Rhea chuckled.

Celia raised her arm near where Rhea's hand rested, asking for her to hold her hand. Rhea grabbed a hold of her hand and was immediately pulled away towards the direction of the living room. Rhea shot me a look of panic before disappearing from my view making me laugh.

I put on some music and began making breakfast as Rhea and Celia played in the living room.

After I finished making breakfast I set the table as well, wanting a nice fancy breakfast for Rhea's coming home and first time at my house.

I made my way to the living room to get the two of them to come eat but stopped short in the doorway when I saw them.

Rhea sat on the floor crisscrossed in front of Celia with a tiny plastic crown on her head, a pink plastic teacup in one hand, and a giant plastic dinosaur in the other.

Celia stood in front of her also wearing a tiny plastic crown on her head but I could see that Rhea had given her one of her necklaces to wear as she poured the two of them cups of tea. 

I smiled as I watched Rhea play pretend with her, not wanting to interfere with the adorableness. Just seeing Rhea wearing her scary full black outfit with dark jewelry and makeup wearing a tiny pink crown was enough to make me fall madly in love right then and there. And I think I did.

"I hate to interrupt, but breakfast is ready," I spoke up, finally announcing my presence.

Celia bounded over to me, holding out the end of Rhea's necklace she was wearing to me. "Look what 'ea gave me!"

"Wow! What a lucky girl you are! Let's go wash up for breakfast though, yeah?" I picked her up and set her on my hip as I turned to look at Rhea who was blushing furiously.

Grinning at her I playfully asked what was the matter.

"Didn't know you were there," Rhea mumbled, reaching up to pull the crown off.

"Leave it, I like it," I smirked as I turned on my heel to make my way back to the kitchen. I think this could work.

[nothomegal]

“The little owl family” (Part 1)

(RZ!Michael Myers x GNReader)

Summary: your and your little sister’s life had an 180° turn when your parents got into a severe car crash, dying on the spot. You, being already past 18 had to figure out how to keep things afloat and give yourself, specially your sister, a good future. And you did! It was hard but you did it and became the absolute hero in the little girl’s eyes. People would often involuntary smile at the dynamic of your two, so wholesome and supportive, the perfect family bond. Bond that a certain Boogeyman noticed as well…

Warnings: none, maybe mentions of murder(?).

Word Count: 2.7k

Additional info: Gender Neutral reader. (S/N) = sister’s name.

Also apologies for any mistakes, English is not my first language ;u;

Well, with all that said, enjoy the fic! ^^

(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

—“(Y/N)! (Y/N) look!”—

The voice of a little girl resonated behind the mentioned person, who was finishing putting on their shoes.

—“Mmh? What is it songbird?”— you curiously say as you walk towards your sister.

The little 6 y/o was enthusiastically pointing at the window.

—“Look! The owl family! They actually made a nest in the backyard!”— she exclaims excitedly, giving little jumps in her place as she speaks and points.

The older sibling looks through the window, focusing on the large tree they had in the backyard. And it’s true! Inside of a tree hollow was a barely noticiable owl head curiously peaking out, staring at the duo with it’s dark, almost pitch black, eyes.

—“It’s not just an owl, it’s a barn owl!”— you comment, glancing at your sister. —“Not sure if they’re going to find much food around here though… Maybe we could buy some meat later?”—

—“Oh, yes! We need to help the birdies!”—

—“Aight’ I’ll write it down in our 'to do' list. But now we gotta go or you’ll be late for school.”— you gently remind her.

—“Oww, but will I see the birdies later?”— she looks at you with a little frown.

—“Of corse! Maybe we could even stay up at night a bit longer since they are nocturnal animals.”—

—“Past bedtime?!”— she gasps a bit.

—“Yup, past bedtime.”— you nod with a chuckle. —“But only this time for tonight, and maybe ones in Halloween… And Christmas… And new year…”—

(S/N) lets out a childish laugh as she swings her arms around her sibling’s waist.

—“You are the best (Y/N)!”—

The mentioned person laughs a bit and crouches down to hug their sister properly.

—“I learned from the greatest. Now come on or your teacher is going to reprimand both of us.”—

The little girl pouts a bit but does as told, clearly not wanting to get scolded again by the old witch Rosemary.

. . .

After a couple of hours, (Y/N) had picked up their sibling from their school and were currently on their ride to the store, when suddenly…

—“(Y/N), who is ‘Michael Myers’?”— (S/N) innocently asks.

They almost choke whit their own saliva when they heard that name leaving their sister’s mouth, their body going a bit stiff.

—“Uh…”— you think about what to reply. —“Where did you hear that name?…”—

—“A classmate told me! She said the friend of their older brother was killed by Michael Myers!”— she replies, saying the last part in a more dramatic tone.

—“Uhuh…”— you hum thoughtfully.

—“So… Who is he?”—

—“Well…”— you pause for a moment. —“He was ones a boy that lived in Haddonfield, around 16 years ago, and then at Halloween he… He killed some people; his stepfather, his own sister and her boyfriend.”—

(S/N)’s eyes wide and her mouth slightly gapes.

—“Own sister?! How dared he?!”—

—“Yeah, but can’t blame him. His sister wasn’t a good person, in fact no one was really kind to him except his mother.”—

—“Oh…”— she pauses, trying to process the fact that not all siblings are as amazing as the one she has.

—“So yeah, that’s the story of Michael Myers, and his old house is now a source of spooky stories, claimed to be the ‘house of the Boogeyman’.”—

(Y/N) replied honestly, they rarely kept secrets from their sister and would often do their best to explain certain things, she will learn them anyways at some point so they rather to be the ones who explain it.

The little girl nods a bit, her gaze thoughtful.

—“Is his house like… Haunted?”—

—“Mmm… Nah, it’s just an old abandoned house. Sure, some teens may come in for kicks and giggles but that’s it”—

(S/N) nods again and then silently looks through the car window. Through the rear mirror (Y/N) could see the girl's expression, it was clear that she still has things to ask and wonder but chooses not to.

Eventually though, whatever was bugging the girl's mind becomes too much and she's forced to ask...

—"Can we go and see the house?..."—

(Y/N)'s grip on the steering wheel tightened, their body stiff again.

—"...Why?"— you simply ask.

The girl shrinks in her sit a bit, her expression a bit sheepish.

—"I... W-Well... While exiting the shcool I heard Terry say that his dad is going to demolish the Myers house in a few days, I got curious and... I just really want to see a real haunted house at least ones!"— she exclaims at the last part.

—"I just said it's not-"—

—"It looks haunted! Please! Pretty please (Y/N)!"— she begs. —"I promise I will look quick! Just a little peak and I won't ask you anything ever again!"—

—"Didn't you say the same yesterday when you wanted pizza for dinner?"— you ask in a teasing tone, subtly trying to change topic.

—"But now I'm super-duper serious! Please."—

The older sibling remains quiet, eyes gluet to the road yet their mind going completely coconuts. Part of them wanted their sister to know the truth, to know that just last year all grown up Michael Myers had escaped from the asylum he's been locked for so long, to know the people he killed, to know he kidnapped and nearly murdered his own young sister, to know that... His body is still to be found, despite originally being claimed as dead.

On the other hand, a more permisive part of them saw nothing wrong in making a quick visit. The old house is several blocks away from their neighborhood and police cars still patrolling the streets quite regulary, specially now durning October.

NO, their gut screams as they slouch on their sit a bit. This is probably a terrible idea! Did they forget all the horror movies and the ridiculously avoidable threats the main characters go through? Do they really want to get themselves in such mess?

But again, it's just a house... Some stupid old building that is barely standing.

And even though (Y/N) doesn't want to admit it... They too are kinda curious to see how the house looks after the last year events.

It's just a little peak.

Just a tiny glance that will last no longer that a minute or two.

Plus, they're god damn aware that if they don't accept (S/N) is going to give them a one hell of a time, and their nerves deserve some mercy.

With a sigh, (Y/N) corrects their position.

—"Just a small glance, okay?"—

At that, (S/N)'s face lights like a firework, her smile wide and bright.

—"Yes! Yes thank you so much (Y/N)! I promise I'll be super good from now on!"—

They simply hum with a smile, this is going to be a quick visit, just a minute and they'll be over it, going to the store to buy some groceries and maybe some new Halloween decorations, the holiday was still three weeks away but in Haddonfield, even after the Boogeyman's horrors, Halloween is still welcomed.

. . .

The car pulls and stops, at the opposite street from the old house.

Just like they imagined, neither time or the people of this town had mercy on the structure. The poor building looked even more vandalized and broken than before, still miraculously standing.

(Y/N) frowned, they’ve expected to feel the classic thrill, the unexplainable sense of danger that our primal instincts send to alert about any sketchy situation, yet… They’re feeling non of it, instead of irrational fear and dread they feel sadness, a melancholy so deep it consumes all other emotions, leaving a huge void in their chest.

The little girl stares at the house, frowning too, as if feeling the same deep sadness.

(Y/N) eventually stops the engine, making everything go silent.

It’s uncertain how long the duo was sitting like this, staring at the building and barely breathing. Eventually, a tiny voice breaks it.

—“Can we…”— she hesitates.

—“Want to look closer?”— you ask, unimpressed.

—“Y-Yeah…”— she shyly admits.

(Y/N) hesitates, not wanting to abandon the safety of the car. But again, what threats are out there?

With a sigh and a small nod, they unbuckle their belt as a silent 'okay'.

When out of the vehicle, the duo got a spine chill almost at the same time. The house looked even bigger, the old structure menacingly hovering over them, reminding how little they are.

But even then, even despite the house's menacing look...

The atmosphere remained melancholic, lonely.

—"The house looks so sad..."— your sister comments with a frown.

—"Indeed it does songbird... Indeed it does..."— you reply, having a frown as well.

—"Do you think the ghost of Michael Myers is looking at us?"— she asks innocently.

(Y/N) gives their sister a look.

—"(S/N), I said he was locked up, not that he died- "— you try to correct her.

—"He may have super powers! What if he can turn secretly into a ghost?!"— she exclaims, though more that scared she sounded excited about such possibility.

(Y/N) simply chucles at the girl's innocence and how quickly she could get out of track with her theories and imagination.

—"Yeah, maybe you're right. It's a cool super power though."— you comment, a bit more casually. —"But I think it's time for us to go sweetheart, remember we still have groceries to buy, as well some stuff for Halloween."—

(S/N) lets out a little gasp.

—"Oh my god you're right! Let's go let's go!- "—she grabs your hand ready to leave but abruptly stops. —"Wait!..."—

She suddenly starts to rummage in her school backpack, gaining a confused yet curious look from (Y/N). With a little 'aha!' she pulls out a drawing.

—"Okaaaay...? What are you planning young lady?"— you arch a brow.

—"It's a gift, I want to gift it to the house!"— she exclaims with a big smile.

—"...What?"— you look at her with confusion. —"You want to gift one of your drawings to an old house?"— your eyes narrow a bit when she nods.

—"Yeah! I mean... I don't like how sad the house looks, so gloomy and... Lonely. You always smile when I gift you a drawing, so I want to try it here!"—

(Y/N) remains silent, though a bit of warmth tickled in their chest at how innocent and sweet (S/N) is acting. They look towards the house, the path to the front door completely overgrown, the dry grass being as unwelcoming as possible, threatning to stick and pinch whoever is dumb enough to enter.

—"I will be fast! Just slide it through the mail slot and then we run back into the car!"—

Their eyes narrow even more.

—"You want to slide it inside?!"—

—"Yes! So the ghost can see and see what a cool artist I am, I even made it spooky!"—

(Y/N) finally takes a moment to glance at the drawing; it was an orange dinosaur, a spinosaurus to be more specific, that had an agry expression. What's the spooky part? The dinosaur is wearing a black witch hat with a red magic wand and a scarf. The drawing also had some things written, all of them spelled wrong of course, insead of saying 'Dinosaur! Happy Halloween!' it said 'Dienosore! Happee Hallowin!'.

(Y/N) couldn't help but to let out a small chuckle at the spelling, they definetely must start teaching their sister some grammar.

—"Alright... But we go together, okay? You slide that in there real quick and we're out."— you say, a bit more strictly.

—"Okay!... Well, maybe also this."— she takes out a little chocolate bar out of her pocket.

—"You want to also leave a treat for the ghost?"— you arch your brow again.

(S/N) simply giggles.

—"No silly, it's for the Boogeyman! So he eats this instead of my ankles."—

—"Didn't we agree that a ghost lives- "—

—"The Boogeyman is the ghost's dog!"—

(Y/N) let out a tired sigh as they roll their eyes, whatever lore (S/N) is having in her mind is getting progressively worse.

—"Okay okay, as you say. Let's hurry up, we don't want the store to get flooded and have all the best decorations sold."—

The little girl nods enthusiastically and takes their hand before they start walking.

(Y/N) is careful with their steps, making sure to not step on any thorn or stick that could potentially hurt their sister, (S/N) meanwhile was loyally following her sibling's footsteps, trusting them completely.

Ones they made their way to the front door, the odd sense of alarm starts to finally creep through (Y/N)'s back, like a bunch of bugs running under their skin in sheer panic, trying to escape and hide from whatever threat is looming in the air.

The older sibling takes a more protective pose, griping their sister's shoulder firmply and eyeing at every possible direction, looking for the sourse of that alarming feeling (S/N) was totally oblivious of.

The little girl, with a happy-go-lucky attitude slides the drawing and the candy through the mail slot like she said, and ones done turns toward (Y/N).

—"Done!"—

As soon as (S/N) said that, her small frame is yanked towards the fence, away from the sketchy building.

—"Good... Now let's go."— you say, your tone a bit more urgent.

(S/N) glances at them with a little frown, noticing the change in their attitude.

—"Are you scared, (Y/N)?"— she innocently asks.

The question made them stop in their tracks, they pause for a moment but eventually sigh.

—"A bit, maybe..."— you reply honestly.

The girl frowns more, but then her expression brightens as she wraps her arms around her sibling's waist.

—"Don't worry (Y/N)! If the Boogeyman dares to come for you I'm going to protect you!"—

Such statemant made them release a scoff.

—"You? A little garden gnome is going to safe the day?"— you tease.

—"Yes! If a monster tries to do something to you then I'll uh... I'll step on their big toe and slap their elbows! Yeah!"— she exclaims, determination shining in her eyes.

Though the childrish threat didn't soothe (Y/N)'s mind, it did lightened their mood a bit.

—"Step on toes, huh? Watch out sis, that's some very serious threats right there."—

—"I know! Bet I'll make the monster cry."— she grins mischievously.

—"You sure? You won't back away at the last second? Just like you did this summer when you tried to catch a gekko in our backyard."— you chuckle at her angry face.

—"The lizard was scary! I didn't know it could climb on walls!"— she childishly whines as she gives you a little punch in the arm. —"And stop laughing! It wasn't funny!"—

—"Didn't you hysterically laugh when you spooked me with that hideous horse mask on?"—

—"Thas was fuuny! The gekko running up walls wasn't!"—

The both siblings started to go back and forth with their little argument of what was or not funny, the argument at some point turned into a small playful fight that was anything but serious. At some point the duo lean against the car, loudly cackling and hugging each other for additional support.

Their roudy interaction didn't go unnoticed, appart from some disapproving glares from the local neighbors, a pair of dark eyes oberved them as well.

The icy blue eyes of the monster hiding in the darkest part of the house watched the duo since their arrival. At first, he was indifferent, just a pair of dummies coming to retell the same story over and over... But eventually, his opinion changed, their dynamic and behavoir was something unique to him.

The way that little girl wasn't afraid of the 'Boogeyman' living inside and how calm her sibling was towards her request to come closer was something he never seen before. Sure some teens would drag their young brothers and sisters towards his old house to give them a scare, terrify them with stories and how he is going to supposedly come and take them, but these two...

Something awakened inside of him, not just curiousity but also something bittersweet... If things had turned the way he wanted he may had the same relationship with boo... The same strong bond he always craved since childhood.

When the car eventually left the neighborhood, that odd awakened feeling vanished as well, making his chest feel empty and cold again...

He has no idea why or what is going on with him. Why some strangers affected him in a such personal level. All he knows is that now the emptiness is being slowly replaced with an unhinged desire...

Desire to find these two and observe them again...

[moralesispunk]

Tomorrow (Javier Peña x F! Reader)

Summary: It's been a year since you last saw Javi, and one night he shows up at your door

Warnings: reader is a single mum, talk of a previous break up (second chance romance anyone?), tension, as always when I write Javi it is fictional Javi so let's keep it respectful

Word Count: 2.8k

It’s after midnight when the soft knock comes to your door.

It echoes towards where you’re standing in the kitchen, the sound so gentle that it would have been easy to convince yourself it wasn’t for you but rather a visitor at one of your neighbours doors down the hall.

In fact it was so quiet that you didn’t move at the first two knocks, the lid of tupperware that you were in the middle of snapping closed over tonight’s - or as you glance at the clock on the oven reading 12:04 AM correct yourself - last night’s dinner stilling in your hands as you listened again.

Two more knocks, even softer than before but definitely against your apartment door.

You click the lid into place and slide the tub into the fridge while closing the door with your other hand, your slippers scuffing against the laminate flooring as the dull orange light from the kitchen guides you down the hall.

Most, if not all, nights you wouldn’t be best pleased by a knock at the door this late at night, but especially when today had been long enough as it was and all you wanted to do was switch off the lights and climb into bed - probably still half-dressed - to pass out immediately.

It was a day that started with an alarm that didn’t go off followed by a flat tire on the way to work. To make things worse you had forgot your lunch, didn’t have time between meetings to go out and buy something so handed cash into your intern’s hands - the same intern who also lost a box of files that meant you were scrambling to close out a case - and they had returned with the one sandwich you had begged them not to get you, only managing two mouthfuls before it was thrown in the bin. You were practically running out of the office to pick up Sofia from school on time, burning dinner as you tried to make it while simultaneously getting her ready for dance class; a class that was actually a dress-rehearsal you had forgotten about until walking into the hall where one of the other mums took Sofia from you, gave you a pat on the arm so gentle you could have cried, and let you run home to pack all her dresses and make it back in time for her first dance.

By the time you got home and Sofia was bathed and in bed, it was an hour past her usual bedtime and you still had everything else to do around the apartment which left you packing away leftovers at midnight. You had been praying between spooning the meatballs into the tub and washing down the pot that Sofia would - for the first time in months - want to lie in on a Saturday rather than wake you up at her usual 6 AM for cartoons and cereal.

By the time you reach the door you’re already balancing on your toes, lifting yourself to look through the peephole. Your building security was tight, mostly agents from the bureau and their families who lived here, but it still didn’t stop you from being overly-cautious with your daughter sound asleep down the hall.

You really had no guesses for who would be knocking at this time, if you had been any more awake you probably would have had the mind to think of a neighbour or the night manager, but even if you had taken a million guesses you would never have said his name.

At the sight of the man on the other side of the door, his hand scrubbing down his face before tugging the tie around his neck loose as he looked like he wasn’t sure whether to stay or run, your heart stopped.

You hadn’t seen Javi in over a year, the last time almost in this exact spot, and it was like a wave of emotions crashing over you.

The memories of that first night when you met in the bar and how he had made you laugh harder than you had in the longest time, your head thrown back and his eyes crinkling at the side. The feeling of his hands as he pushed your skirt up to your waist the second your apartment door had closed, his body crowding against yours and his mouth kissing a path down your neck as his hand was lost between your legs. The feeling of his lips against your temple the next morning, how he smiled boyishly down at you as you hugged the sheets around your still-naked body and he left in the same clothes he had worn the night before. How your mouth fell-open when you walked into the boardroom on Monday morning to find him standing beside your boss. The weeks of avoiding him around the building with burning cheeks and fast clicking heels as you tried to make it to the elevator and back without being caught. The way he had caught you in the file room and asked you to go for a drink with him.

The way you had said yes, instantly.

The months of dates and nights where you lost yourself in the sheets. The day you introduced him to Sofia and he knelt before her with a smaller bouquet of flowers to match yours. The movie nights. The trips to the park. The safety you felt for the first time in… God, years really. The heartbreak as he stood at your door, while Sofia played quietly in the living room, and told you that they offered him a move back to Colombia, for a year - maybe two - and he had already said yes.

He had already said yes before talking to you and that was what broke everything.

But as you took in this man now, his tight shoulders and tired eyes, it somehow didn’t feel like a conversation for tonight.

With a hand sliding down the door you flicked the lock, taking off the latch in a swipe and opening the door wide enough for you to stand in the now open gap. His head had jerked up at the sound, his eyes widening as though he was surprised at you actually opening the door for him.

His lips parted and a quiet murmur of your name was the only sound he made, his hand shaking out by his side as he shifted his weight onto one leg and took you in.

In all honesty, for the first three months after he had left you had thought about this moment - about seeing him for the first time. You had imagined you would be dressed up with your hair and make-up done, throwing back your head in a laugh as he walked into whatever bar you were in - you would never imagined that it would be after midnight in your apartment building hallway, your face completely bare and an outfit that consisted of your work trousers and an oversized t-shirt turned sleep-shirt.

You would also never have guessed that you didn’t care what you looked like in this moment.

It was partially because, somehow, the man across from you looked even more tired than you felt and maybe it made you a bad person, slightly evil at the core, but it made you feel better that you weren’t the only mess.

“What are you doing here, Javi?” You asked, sighing and leaning your weight on the door as the exhaustion from the day caught up on you.

“I…” Javi’s hand rubbed across his jaw, his eyes flicking back and forth between yours before he sighed. “No. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… It’s late and- and I don’t know why I came, I just went for a walk and-” He shook his head again, taking a step back and another. “I’m sorry, I’ll just-”

You had never seen Javi flustered before, so unconfident and unbelieving in himself, and it set off an unease in you that had you stepping forward and wrapping your hand around his arm.

“Javi,” you said, waiting until he looked up into your eyes before going on. “Why don’t you just… come in. It’s late and you’re already here.”

His shoulders rose as he took in a breath, dark brown eyes looking into yours, then into the open door behind you, before he nodded and you let your palm slide down his arm and into his hand as you led him back into the apartment.

It was awkward and disjointed, his body close behind yours as you stepped inside and closed the door as soon as he had followed. With the door locked and his shoes toes off by the shoe rack, an uncomfortable pressure settled into your chest at the feeling that all of this was too familiar.

It was like every other time you had come home together. Those nights after work when you were still chatting as you stepped over the threshold, your eyes never leaving one another’s as you slipped your shoes off, tossed the keys into the bowl and slipped your jackets onto the rack while deciding what's for dinner. Or when the three of you had been out together and Sofia had fallen asleep on the way home, her cheek squished against his shoulder and his hand running up and down her back as you straightened the three pairs of shoes while he carried her to bed. Or nights when she was with your friend and you and Javi were on a date night, his mouth already on yours before the door had closed and his hands gripping at your thighs until your legs had been wrapped around his waist.

To make it worse, it felt right as soon as his hand was in yours - his rough skin against your smooth palm, his hand completely enveloping your smaller one, his thumb that instinctively came to trace circles on your skin.

Awkward and tension filled but familiar and right, no sign that anything good was going to come from leading him down the hall towards your bedroom. You stopped only to switch off the kitchen light, his weight steady behind you as he stayed silent while you peeked into Sofia’s room.

The purple octopus light on her bedside table was bright enough for you to make out her sleeping face, the duvet kicked down by her feet and her arms raised up above her head as she snored far louder than any five-year old should, so you closed the door back over until it was only open and inch or two and began the short walk across the hall to your room.

There is no part of your mind that could rationalise this, that could find an explanation other than you are just over-tired and hallucinating the man who broke your heart, but you can feel him here and there is a soft voice reassuring you that it's true, and that if he wanted you to stop leading him deeper into your apartment he would have said so by now.

When you open the door to your bedroom he follows closely, his hand only leaving yours when you're both over the threshold and he takes a step further inside as you close the door over.

“She's not a great sleeper right now,” you explain as you leave your door open an inch or two, the same as Sofia’s, and Javi waves you off.

When you turn back around you find your arms crossing over your chest, fingers digging into the skin around your elbow as you take in the man before you in more detail now.

He looks like the man you had first met; the tiredness that gave his cheeks an almost sunken look and left him with dark bags under his eyes. His shoulders were tight as though the weight of the very world settled on them and his eyes darted around your face as his hands clenched and released from fists by his side as though he couldn’t stay still.

He wasn't like the man who had been here just before he left again, settled into domesticity who would lie in bed wrapped around you until his alarm went off - not slipping out as soon as he woke up - and who began to build something here.

“I-” He started to speak and you raised a hand, shaking your head as your throat began to sting with unshed tears.

“I’m going to get ready for bed,” you said simply and he looked at you, searching your face for an answer he didn't seem to find before nodding.

If for nothing else, five minutes locked away might help you find some semblance of control. You avoided your reflection in the mirror the whole time, not wanting to see if your face was giving away more hope than pain or more pain than hope, and spent the whole time throwing your trousers in the laundry basket, washing your face and brushing your teeth wondering what Javi was doing in the room next door.

Your apartment had stayed largely the same this past year, a family home filled with toys and organised mess that accumulated from your busy lives, but you had not. Sometimes it felt like a museum, stumbling across a cuff link that was wedged between the cushions and remembering how on nights you were home alone he would take you on the sofa rather than take the two seconds to move you to the bedroom. Other times it felt like he had never been there at all, a wardrobe that had once held hangers of his shirts and trousers sitting emptier than before with only your clothes to fill it.

When you stepped back into your bedroom you found him perched on the side of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his fingers rubbing between his brows, until he stood up to face you.

His eyes followed a path up from your ankles to the middle of your thighs where the hem of your t-shirt rested, his bottom lip pulling between his teeth and his eyes darting away as his jaw clenched.

There was going to be no conversation tonight, not one that would do either of you any good or answer any of your questions. Questions about why he came here? Why didn't he call, not once, this whole year even just to tell you he was alive? Why can't you decide whether you hate or love him? Does he love you? Is this going to end up in an even bigger mess than last time? But these were questions you had asked yourself for a year and another night without answers wasn't going to ruin you.

Taking a step forward, then another, you placed your hands on his chest and watched as he carefully took you in. Your hands slipped up to his tie, one you had never seen before with the deep navy paisley pattern, and you raised an eyebrow in question.

He nodded once, the fabric soon coming loose and dropping to the floor.

A tear spilled over your cheek as your fingers moved down the buttons, slipping each one free from the soft cotton before you could slide it from his shoulders. The tips of your fingers grazed against his skin from his shoulders to his wrists and as soon as his hands were free they raised to your face, palms cupping your cheeks and thumbs brushing away the tears that were spilling over.

You stepped out of his grasp, rounding to your side of the bed and switching off the lamp.

“I hope you're wearing boxers under there,” you said, sniffing back the tears and climbing under the sheets.

His quiet laugh was followed by the soft thud of his trousers hitting the carpet.

“Yes, boxers are on,” he whispered back.

The mattress dipped behind you, his warmth settling on the half of the bed that had been cold for a year. Your shoulders were almost at your ears from how tense you held yourself, rolling over to face Javi to find him already facing you, an arm folded under the pillow and the other resting on the mattress between you.

“Hi,” you whispered.

“Hi,” he whispered back, his face softening slightly.

As your eyes adjusted to the dark your hand reached up, tracing down the strong slope of his nose and across the plump roundness of his lips. His breath hitched then, a beautifully painful sound that had your eyes squeezing shut.

Your eyes stayed closed as you turned back around, your body much closer to Javi’s than it had been before, and it wasn't long before his hand wrapped slowly around your waist, giving you time to push him away.

“Tomorrow,” you whispered, linking your fingers with his where they rested on the mattress in front of you and his chest pressed tighter against your back.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered back, his cheek resting against the top of your head and his hand squeezing yours.

[messedupfan]

Bound To Fall | Leigh Shaw x Reader (Request)

Summary: Based on this anonymous request. Things are rocky between Y/n and Leigh after she starts a new job. Can things be mended before it's too late?

Warnings: angst, some smut (18+), emotional damage. (I will not be covering therapy bills and neither will B. So read at your discretion)

Red text is written by @abimess

A/N: Surprise!! It's a collab!! Special thank you to B for helping me with this story, it wouldn't be as strong as it is without you! Definitely wouldn't have a title either! It took me a few drafts to finally come up with something for this but I'm glad I did. I apologize for the wait, anon! Also Matt isn't a teacher in this. He does something in writing. Fasten your seatbelts she's, they's, and gay's, it's going to be a bumpy ride. I hope you all enjoy it! And requests are still open.

Masterlist | All Stories Taglist | Requests

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You stir the spoon around in the tea you made. You intended to drink it but have been too upset to even take a sip. It was closing in on midnight and she still wasn’t home. She hasn’t called or texted once since she left. She hasn’t answered or responded to your messages. She promised that she wouldn’t be out too late but it’s well past the curfew the two of you had agreed on. Briana comes bounding down the stairs again. 

“Where’s mommy?” She pouts with tears at the brim of her dark hazel eyes. “I can’t sleep without my goodnight kiss from mommy.”

You sigh as you turn to look at your child. “I gave you extra kisses. Those didn’t work?”

She shakes her little head, “I need mommy’s kisses too.” 

You stand from your stool and walk over to get her back to her bed. She is resistant at first but you promise that her mom will be back soon. Briana agrees to go to bed and wait a little bit longer. After tucking her in, you return to the barstool in the kitchen and continue to wait by your cell. Hoping that the call you receive isn’t a hospital informing you that your wife is gone. 

It’s another hour before she is being led into the house by her co-worker. She is giggling and when she sees you, her eyes widen. “Oh my goodness! You stayed up? You didn’t have to stay up!” Leigh walks out of the guy’s arms and stumbles over to you. “Don’t I just have the best spouse ever?” She has her arms around you and she kisses your cheek. You clench your jaw to hold back the anger that is poisoning your body. 

“You didn’t tell me that Matt was going to be there,” you say with a tight expression, trying to keep your cool.

“We ran into each other at the club–” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my wife,” you snap at him.

Matt holds his hands up in surrender. Leigh giggles, “Aw don’t be a grumpy pants. The overprotective jealousy thing was hot in college but now it’s not necessary.” She begins to kiss your face excessively but you were too upset to let her have any effect on you. “Uh-oh, looks like I’m going to be in trouble.” She mutters while moving her face away. “Thank you for taking care of me, Matt. You can go now,” she says, waving him goodbye. 

“Are you sure that you’ll be okay?” His implication upsets you even further. 

Who was he to think that you would harm your wife? “She’s home, of course she’s okay.” You respond in a short tone. 

“Respectfully, I would prefer to hear that from her,” lucky for him, Briana comes running down the stairs for her mom. 

Leigh smiles at her coworker as she confirms that she’ll be fine and the man finally leaves. You don’t miss the longing look he gives her just before he exits. It makes your blood boil. He didn’t want her when he had her and now he wants to complicate the life the two of you have? “Bri! Why are you up past your bedtime, sweetheart?” She does her best to speak clearly to the little girl who was clinging to her leg but still has a little slur in her speech. 

She giggles and beams up at Leigh, “You sound funny, mommy.” 

“Mommy is just tired, like I know you are! Come on. Let’s get you to bed, baby girl. You go first, I’ll be right behind you,” she sends the girl off and she shakes her head at you. “She’s not going to want to get up for daycare tomorrow. You were supposed to put her to bed on time.” 

You begin to laugh sarcastically at the fact that she is upset with you when you were the one that was home and she wasn’t and she hasn’t been for months. “You so do not want to go there with me right now,” you say in response to her asking what was funny. “I’ll help you up the stairs and into bed but I’m sleeping in the guest room again tonight.” 

Leigh frowns but doesn’t question it. She does the night routine that Briana is familiar with and the little girl is finally able to sleep. A soft smile makes a quick appearance on your grumpy features when you admire your sleeping child. It disappears when Leigh reaches out to hold your hand. You pull away and gesture for her to walk ahead of you, keeping your distance from her. Only to ensure that she gets to the room safely under her condition. You’ve heard one too many horror stories of someone dying from a slip while drunk. You might be upset with her, but you still care about her wellbeing. 

Stopping at the door, Leigh turns around with tears in her eyes. “I miss you.” 

“I’m right here,” you reply. 

She shakes her head, “No, you’re not.” 

“Goodnight, Leigh,” you walk away from her to go to your room. It was technically the guest room, but it was slowly becoming your room. Another thing you hated.

The next few days are tense, but the two of you put up a happy front for your daughter. She didn’t need to know how unhappy her parents were and she was still too young to pick up on it. Unfortunately, you and Leigh are left with a mountain of unresolved issues which only continues to grow. That is, until you come home from work one day to find Leigh sitting in the living room waiting for you. 

“Bri is with my mom for the night,” she states before you can rush upstairs to avoid her. 

You sigh and set your messenger bag on the hook by the garage door. “You know that I prefer to watch her when you go out.” 

“I’m not going out,” she says. 

Your face contorts in confusion, “Then why isn’t she home? We had plans to do a few of those big puzzles and watch one of the popular animated movies that got added to streaming.” 

“We need to talk and we can’t do that while she’s home, so I had my mom take her.” Leigh explains. 

You slump down in a seat across from her. “Maybe not talking is the only thing saving this marriage,” you say bitterly. 

Leigh sets her jaw to hide how sharp your words are. “What happened to us?” She whispers. She hasn’t been able to figure it out. One minute, she’s in the best marriage she could ever dream of. Her family was happy. She was happy. You were happy. Then it was as if overnight all of that changed. You grew distant and cold, treating her the way you would treat the rest of the world. She didn’t understand it and she didn’t like it. “Is there someone else?” 

The question makes you look at her. “I don’t know. Is there?”

Leigh’s eyebrows knit together. Why would you accuse her? She wasn’t the one who changed. Unless she was the one. No. Her confusion wasn’t noticeable. Was it? What did you know? How much did you know? Is that why you changed? “No, there is only you. There has only ever been you.” She watches you scoff with disbelief and she can’t believe the reaction. You have always trusted her when she told you those words. You never doubted her or her faithfulness to you. “What did I do to make you feel this way? How can I fix it? How can I fix us?” 

You stand up from your seat, prepared to find any excuse to walk out before you say something you might regret. But a bitterness inside you decides that she needs to hear whatever it is that you have to say. Even if it’s something that could damage this family beyond repair. “You know, when you started working late nights I tried to tell myself that you were just doing your job. I foolishly believed that I had nothing to worry about. That you loved me and our family and you would never do anything to jeopardize it.” 

“I wouldn’t! I haven’t!” Leigh pleads with you. 

You ignore her and continue on. “So imagine my surprise when I find out that the person that was keeping you at the office late was none other than your ex-boyfriend. At an office party nonetheless!” 

“I love you. I didn’t think it would be a big deal,” she swears.

You continue to ignore her. “But I chose to not let the humiliation of the people around your office being so surprised you were married to me and not to him get to me. No, I felt safe and secure in our relationship. Leigh, my best friend, mother of our child, my loving and devoted wife would never cheat on me.” She bites her tongue, wanting to defend herself but knowing there was no use. You have the floor now and you won’t let her take it. “I continue on, like an idiot, trusting that the reason my wife is at work late is because she has so much important stuff to do that she can’t make it home in time for family dinner. She at least makes it in time to tuck our daughter into bed and she shares a bed with me at night. That’s what matters right? That you came home to me and weren’t sleeping in someone else's bed.” 

Leigh knows where this is headed and she wants to tell you that you were ridiculous in your assumption. That nothing happened at all the night she claimed to have spent the night at the office. But she vowed to never lie to you, she just hasn’t figured out how to tell you. 

“Did you know that I stopped by that night to bring you food?” 

The reveal makes her heart drop. “You what?” She whispers. 

“We had made plans that night. You left a message, telling me that you weren’t going to make it home for the date we had scheduled. That you were looking forward to it and were bummed because all you had eaten that day was potato chips from the vending machine,” you recall the voicemail that you’ve played over and over. Trying to figure out where she lied to you, because it all seemed to be the truth but what you found that night led you to question everything. “I felt bad, so I got the babysitter for Bri anyway and I ordered some food from your favorite restaurant and I came to your office to drop it off. Maybe even try to convince you to have a break with me. So we could reconnect and save this marriage!” Your voice rises in the last sentence as the anger from that night returns and Leigh flinches. You weren’t the type to ever raise your voice often, especially not to her. 

“Why didn’t you?” She asks. If you had walked in, she wouldn’t have been carrying this guilt with her for what happened that night. You could have stopped it. Why didn’t you stop it?

You scoff at her question. “I didn’t want to interrupt,” you say bitterly.

“What did you see?” 

“I heard you laughing when I was walking through to find your office. I thought maybe you were on a break watching some dumb video on the internet. Then I heard his voice. I wanted to believe there were other people working late with the two of you but no. It was just you and him.” You give her a moment to say anything, maybe tell you that at some point there were others, but she lets you continue. “When I finally did see you, you looked cozy on the couch in his office. You looked just like you did in college. You had that same dopey look, like you could never love anyone the way you did him. I know it well, you used to look at me like that… before he came back into our lives.” 

Leigh shakes her head, there was no way she was giving him that look. Or was she? That’s what he claimed when she tried to tell him it should have never happened. He said he only crossed that line because of the way she looked at him. Maybe she had to accept that she did. It wasn’t intentional but it happened. You wouldn’t say it if it didn’t. How can she tell you that she didn’t mean it? That would put into question if she means it when she looks at you that way. How was she supposed to convince you that she does? 

“I watched and I waited for you to act the way a married person does. Stop him from getting closer. Keep your distance. Keep things friendly, or strictly business. But then you asked him why he was sitting so far away. And to tell you more about his semester abroad. The one that resulted in the end of your relationship. You asked him if he ever regretted losing you–” 

“I wasn’t in my right mind, we were celebrating. Did you miss the bottle of wine or did you just not have enough of a view?” She snaps at you. She wants to continue to deny that she invited it. That as a married woman, she wanted someone else.

“That’s no excuse, Leigh! Do you know what I do with the people that hit on me when I’m drinking?” She stumbles on coming up with an answer but you interrupt her. “Nothing! I go looking for you!” 

“I might have had some unresolved issues. It’s complicated.” Stressed out, she moves her hands through her long hair. 

You cross your arms over your chest and shrug, “Uncomplicate it for me, Leigh. If not for me then for our daughter. She deserves that much.” 

Leigh presses her lips together and bounces her leg as she tries to make sense of something in minutes that she hasn’t in months. “Not everyone can be so fucking perfect all of the damn time. Okay? Some of us have flaws!”

You can’t believe that is her defense for her actions. You sit one arm on the other, with one laying across your chest and use your index finger and thumb to rub your eyebrows. “Did you know that I would have forgiven you, had you told me about the kiss that night?” Her eyes dart to your direction but it's so tough to look at you when you won’t look at her. “I might’ve even done so without the details. But,” you shrug and scratch your nose. “You didn’t tell me. Every day that you didn’t tell me, it just made it harder to find a reason to forgive you. It made it harder to believe that you weren’t cheating on me the whole time.” 

Leigh drops her head shamefully but she doesn’t want this to be her fault. You were there, you should’ve caught her or had this conversation with her sooner. Why didn’t you? Were you only trying to make her look bad? Did you hate her? Were you trying to destroy this marriage?

“Then the big project was done and I thought I could finally have my wife back. I had plans to try and reconnect, even some to talk about what I saw. I was going to be calm and understanding. But then you started to avoid me. Every attempt I made, you just pulled away further. I wanted to believe… I still want to believe that you were doing what you said you were doing. Then the other night, you come home well past Bri’s curfew, drunk, and hanging off of him. What am I supposed to think? Am I being an idiot? Am I the asshole here, not seeing something? Am I trapping you in a marriage that you don’t want to be in? Do I not love you enough? Do you not love me at all anymore?” 

“No, that’s not why I–” she stops herself. Any explanation would only hurt you further but there is no way to heal you without explaining it. “When I started working there, I didn’t know that being around him would bring back so many old feelings. I thought they had died with our relationship. It was confusing. I knew that I loved you, I still do. But there was a time when I thought I might still love him. I needed to know, and I didn’t know how else to figure that out. So, yeah, I had a few drinks with him. I talked about things I otherwise wouldn’t have and when he kissed me, I let him. But it didn’t go beyond that. I felt so stupid and ashamed and I betrayed you. There isn’t a doubt or an excuse for it. It happened and I am sorry. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take all of it back.” 

Feeling as though you have been hit by a freight train, you fall back into your seat. The two of you sit in silence for a long period of time. Processing and not knowing what to say. You can't figure out where you went wrong that she felt the need to be with someone else. That she felt things towards someone who hurt her time and time again. That’s when you realized you needed to cut yourself out of the equation. It wasn’t about you. It was about her. But why? Why would she do this to herself? Why would she risk losing what she had? Was she not happy with it anymore? Was there anything you could do or was she on a self-destructive path? How could you help her? Could you even help her?

Meanwhile, Leigh is sitting there waiting for you to blow up. She also can't understand or let go of the fact that you let it happen. That you let her get away with it for so long. That you didn't catch her. That you didn't talk about it until now. When it might be too late. “If you already knew, why didn’t you say anything?” She finally asks. 

You scoff, “I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. I wanted you to come to me. I thought I was very clear that you could come to me about anything and everything. But maybe I should’ve just caught you in the act or something. I don't know.” You look at your hands as you play with your wedding ring. You took it off to remember the day she put it on you. To remember that happiness. But all you can think about is maybe she didn't share in that happiness. 

“Why didn't you?” She observes you carefully as you frown at the ring that once made you light up a room with a grand smile. 

“Because, Leigh, you were. You were supposed to think about me and our daughter, our family, and what you were risking. What you might lose. Over a silly kiss.” You rub your hand over your eyes with your elbow resting on the arm of the chair. It was the first piece of furniture that you bought for the house. She had pointed it out while the two of you were window shopping one time. When the two of you bought the house, she hadn’t known that the deal had been finalized until you brought her back and the chair was sitting in the middle of the living room with a big red bow and a sign that welcomed her home.“You were supposed to stop yourself. Come home, and talk about it. I told you about the time an intern kissed me at work! The day it happened.” 

“Yeah, but you have no history with that person. You didn’t have to worry about my reaction the way I did with you.”

“What did you think my reaction would be?” 

“I,” she isn’t really sure. She had stressed over many scenarios, but she couldn’t think of a single one to tell you. “I don’t know.” She drops her face in her hands and grips her hair. “I was afraid and confused, everything was confusing.” 

You sigh, you didn’t like seeing your wife in pain. But you can’t sit next to her. You can’t comfort her right now, because then nothing will get resolved. She could kiss you and you could lose yourself in her and then the two of you will think that everything is okay until everything builds and it isn’t anymore. It needed to be figured out today. You couldn’t continue to live the way you have the past few months. “What is it now?” You ask, trying to be the understanding person that you wanted to be for her. There were very few people in this world that you had this kind of patience for and she knows that, she appreciates that you haven’t completely given up on her.  

“It’s… well, it’s less confusing. I know what I want, who I want,” she looks at you when she clarifies. “I know what I did was foolish and selfish and you deserve so much better than that.” Leigh grabs a tissue to blow her nose. “I’m still scared to death that I fucked everything up. I haven’t given you any reason to trust me anymore. I can swear to you that those nights I wasn’t here, I was with Jules or with friends. Hiding from you so that I didn’t have to tell you what I did. I can promise that the other night, Matt was just there. He wasn’t invited, I tried to avoid him but seeing him there… The guilt was awful. I just kept drinking. I don’t think I’ve had that much to drink in years. My friends tried to cut me off early and Drew was supposed to take me home but Matt offered. He doesn’t know, no one does, so he let him take me home. I couldn’t tell him why it was a bad idea.” She pauses, playing with the tissue. “I wouldn’t blame you if you don’t believe me.” 

“Good,” you start, “because I don’t.” Leigh nods and wipes some of her tears. She was at a loss of what to do now. In all of the scenarios in her head, she never came up with this one. As for you, all you want to do is cry and scream and throw things but you don’t. You keep yourself cemented to the chair. Not even trusting yourself to pace around the living room. Afraid you’ll lash out on the innocent objects around you. Setting your ring on the coffee table in front of you, you rub your palms together. “Was it worth it?” 

“Of course not,” the lack of hesitation gives you some relief but not enough. “What can I do to fix this?” The desperation in her voice tugs at your heart and part of you wants to forgive her and let it go. But what if that leads her to do it again? What if forgiving her isn’t enough for you? What if you can’t let it go? 

You shrug, “I don’t know. I…” you sigh, not having a solution. “I wish things could go back to what it was but we can’t, ever. Before is gone now. What comes after this… I don’t know if we’re going to make it.”

Leigh gets upset by this. “So that’s it? One meaningless kiss and you’re ready to throw all of this away? You’re just done! You’re just giving up?” Now her voice is raised. 

“That’s not what I said!” 

“Isn’t it thought?”

“Look, it wasn’t just a meaningless kiss and you know it! I almost lost you to him once! And the entire time the two of you were together I had to stand by while he treated you like crap and you allowed it!” She doesn’t try to cut you off when you mention the relationship she had with Matt back in college. You were right. It was awful, she never felt as low and insecure as she did when she was dating him. “Damnit, Leigh! I thought what we had was special! To know that a part of you still wanted him! After how he hurt you! Clearly there’s more going on that you need to figure out and I can’t help you with it!” 

Leigh nods, “You’re right, I need to work a few things out. I’ve been selfish these last few months and I don’t know. I just. Fuck.” She gets up from her place on the sofa. “I’m just like my father.” She walks away because she is beginning to feel like the walls are closing in on her. She steps out onto the back porch to get some fresh air. You let her be on her own, give her some space. What she did to you wasn’t nearly as bad as what her father had done to her mother. Or was it? 

His affair was more physical, something that didn’t last once he was caught. But this was deeper. This was emotional. This was with an ex of hers. But she’s right, it was one kiss. It could have been worse. She could have been sleeping with him. Part of you still thinks she did but you wanted to hold onto what she said. That she was with anybody but him. But then, just the fact that she compared herself to her father raised some flags. You get up and walk over to the door that led to the backyard and lean on the frame. She was holding onto the banister and looking out to the garden the two of you made together. It was full of dead plants having been ignored by the both of you. Was that what this marriage was now? 

“Are you,” you stop, almost not wanting to ask, too afraid of the answer. “Are you like your father?” You get out through a shaky tone. She is quiet and you take that as a bad sign. “Was it more than a kiss? Did you sleep with–”

She spins around with wide eyes, “No! That is not what I meant when I said that!” You ask her to elaborate what she did mean by the statement. “When things got tough for him, instead of seeking help he just blew up his life even more. Instead of tending to the minor, fixable problems he had, he created more problems that he couldn’t come back from. Problems that could have been avoided. That’s what I’m talking about.” She takes a breath, you could almost see her clarity in her expression. 

“If I had just told you what losing my job meant to me. What it felt like only getting one job out of the hundreds I applied to. How I didn’t feel comfortable at first because I’m pretty sure the only reason I got it is because my ex was the person in charge of hiring. That I hated that my only options were this job and going back to work for my mom. That I wasn’t confident in my work anymore because the person reviewing all of it was him. That I haven’t recognized myself in almost a year.” She pauses and takes a small step closer to you. Waiting for you to take a step back. You stay. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have been there for you, Leigh,” you say. 

“I wish I knew,” she replies. She doesn’t know why she didn’t, she just knows that she should have.

Not being able to handle the distance from her anymore, you step off from the door frame and hold your arms open for her. Leigh crashes against you almost instantly, letting the sobs rip through her. You hold her close and reassure her that you’re still here for her. No matter what. 

The two of you spend the rest of the evening winding down from the intense conversation. You order food but the both of you don’t have much of an appetite and you end up pushing the food around your plate until Leigh says that she’s tired. You admit that you are drained as well and help put the food away. When the kitchen is clean, there is an awkward tension of not knowing what to do next. 

“Will you sleep with me tonight?” Leigh asks, reaching for your hand. 

You’re hesitant but you let her take your hand. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to have sex right now,” you admit. 

She keeps her eyes to your hand, noticing that you haven’t put your ring back on. “I know that, I meant just sleeping. I’ve been having a hard time sleeping without you. I miss sharing a bed with you.” 

You sigh, figuring there couldn’t be too much harm to share the bed with her for the night. “I suppose that is okay.” Pulling you by your hand, she takes you to the bedroom and gets ready for bed. It was a strange experience for you. Returning to the bedtime routine for the two of you after months. For the first time, you felt like a stranger in your own home. There was an awkwardness that never existed between the two of you before. The first thing that drew you to Leigh was how comfortable she made you. Why was that stripped away? Was it from this one night of confessions? Or was it built from the months of neglecting the relationship? 

When you climb into bed, neither of you knows how to settle in next to each other. You wanted to put a wall of pillows between the two of you and she wanted to be held by you. So that she can’t request anything from you, you turn away from her and tell her goodnight. She says it back, adding that she loves you. You don’t say it back. You did still love her. It just… it hurt now and that was confusing. 

Leigh peacefully falls asleep, but you spend the night tossing and turning. Not sure what to do. She needed to get help but would she get help if you stayed? Did she need an extra push? Or would that only give her more reasons to hide things from you? Maybe you needed a break. Maybe you needed to get away for a bit. She has had plenty of time and space away from you. But she needed help right now. Was it fair to abandon her when she finally opened up to you? The racing thoughts frustrated you. There was no one answer to any of these. None of them seemed simple. 

In the morning, you tell her that she needs to see a therapist and that the two of you should do couples counseling. She agrees. To show that she is serious about mending the things she had cracked, possibly broken, she makes the appointments later that day. The two of you didn’t talk to each other much once Briana was home. Instead, the three of you went out for frozen yogurt, saw a movie and then had dinner. Then came home, did Briana’s bedtime routine, and she asked you to join her in bed again. You do it, because you need to. In order to see if things were getting better on your end. 

Several months later, after many sessions in couples therapy, you wake up in the middle of the night with the fear that you were drowning. Nothing had been resolved because neither of you were truly trying at the sessions. The both of you had said way more that one night than you had in the many expensive hour long therapy sessions. You were beginning to feel like the only way you would know if you still loved Leigh, is if you are without her. 

So, in the middle of the night, you write her a letter explaining why you’re not next to her. You tell her that you needed some space and that you desperately hope this will only bring the two of you closer. But that if it doesn’t work out that way, your hope is that neither of you hate each other if things have to end. You quietly pack a bag, stopping at every small movement she makes. Then you get in your car and drive, uncertain of your destination. You didn’t want to go to a friend's house because then it would broadcast your marital problems. You didn’t want to go to a hotel because that felt like a step towards divorce. Not the direction you wanted to head. So you just drive and think. 

Leigh’s heart drops when she finds a note instead of you. Her heart breaks as she reads it over and over. Why was it that when you thought things were good, she was silently suffering and when she thought things were getting better, you were? What caused this seemingly sudden imbalance and why couldn’t the balance be restored? She isn’t able to dwell on it for long because Briana comes running into the room requesting a fun breakfast. The kind only you can make. She forces back the tears and hides her pain behind a smile as she promises to make something just as special. 

You return home late that night. Surprising Leigh. She was sitting in the living room with a movie on, crying. She wanted to blame the tears on the film but she knew they were from the troubles between the two of you and with herself. You open your mouth to say something but she holds her finger up to her lips before pointing to her lap. Briana was fast asleep. You nod and sneak your way up the stairs, needing to take a shower. 

At one point during your drive, you pulled over to a hiking trail and went to the top to just think. You sat in the sun for hours, a little too close to the edge without realizing. When you decided it was time to stand up, the sand and rocks had gotten soft and crumbled under your feet. You slipped off of the ledge but was lucky enough to grab onto something sturdy enough to pull you up. When you got back up, you didn’t even process the cuts you got, you just stood there and  stared at how far of a drop it was. You could have died and no one would have known what happened. Your wife would have thought you abandoned her. Your daughter would have grown to believe the same. 

It really puts into perspective what your life is and what you want out of your life. It wasn’t this. On the hike down, you got sick and stopped to throw up, close to passing out. You were lucky that some hikers found you and helped you to your car. One drove you to the hospital in your car and the other followed in their car. You were dehydrated, had a concussion, a few bruises and required a few stitches but were otherwise fine. You take your time in the shower and when you get out, Leigh is sitting on the bed. 

“I thought you needed your space,” she starts. 

You play with the waist strap of your robe as you lick your lips, “I did. Then something happened.” 

Leigh looks down at her hands. “Did you,” she pauses to consider her words carefully, “Were you with someone else?” She looks back up at you with tears sitting on the brim of her eyes.

You shake your head, “No, I went on a hike and,” you open your robe slightly to reveal the stitches and scratches on your side. “It got pretty fucking scary.” Leigh jumps from the bed and frets over you, asking what happened and if you’re okay and why you didn’t call. “I’m fine, I’m still a little startled but I’m fine. I’m alive. I’m home. I’m here, with you.” You reach out to hold her face with your fingertips as your palms need to have a new bandage on them. “But it made me realize that neither of us are happy and neither of us are trying to make each other happy. We can’t live our lives like this. We can’t pretend things haven’t changed or that certain things didn’t happen.” She closes her eyes, knowing that you’re right but not wanting to let you go. “We do need space. We need to find ourselves again. We’re lost, the both of us, and it’s killing us. Maybe the time apart will bring us back together. Maybe it won’t. But we can’t keep going the way we are.” 

“What do you want?” She whispers. 

“I’m going to move out,” you state, “but I’m not giving up.” 

“You almost died and you realized that you don’t want to be with me anymore. I don’t think we should drag this out longer than it has to be,” she says more to protect herself from the pain of hearing you end the relationship. She’s not sure she can survive it. 

“That’s not true,” you try to get her to look at you. She doesn’t so you continue anyway. “It made me realize that I miss you too. That you aren’t you and I’m not me. I kept blaming you for not telling me what you were going through but I couldn’t even see that you were drowning. I avoided you as much as you avoided me. I hid behind our daughter. Leigh,” you call her name and use your knuckle to lift her chin up to you. “I don’t want to hate you because we forgot how to communicate with each other.” She meets your eyes and for the first time in almost a year, you don’t look away from her. Leigh’s breath catches at the intensity of your gaze and her eyes flit down to your lips. It’s been so long since she’s had them and she can’t even remember what they felt like against her. She moves closer and you let her. 

Leigh finally presses her lips against yours, gripping your robe as if she can keep you from slipping through her fingers further than you already have. You let her kiss you, but you don’t respond as eagerly. You savor the feel of her soft lips, her taste, the desperate way she pulls you closer while being cautious about your injuries. It tells you that she needs you. That she still loves you. This is the first time that you haven’t wanted to pull away or run from her. This time you ignore all of the reasons not to and you allow for things to go further.

The moment you both fall onto the mattress, her body beneath yours and you fitting into her in the way that used to be so perfect, your first impulse is to run away. But she traps you there with her legs around your waist, her hands still trying to work on your robe. So you stay there, your mouth on hers, wondering if they fit as perfectly as hers did with his, if she slid her tongue against his like she's doing with yours now. You wonder about it until you can’t bear it anymore, then you move your lips down her jaw, ignoring everything in your mind screaming at you to stop, paying mind to that - although smaller, just as eager - part that tells you how much you missed her, how much you want to feel her. 

When Leigh's hands finally undo the knot that kept the garment secure around your body, your own find her pajama shorts, pulling them down so desperately that her breath gets caught in her throat, surprise and excitement overcoming her entire being. Maybe that's all you needed. A moment to reconnect, to be reminded of what it feels like to belong to each other, that you still belong to each other. She has no idea, however, that the reason for your desperation is that you need to feel something immediately before you break down, intoxicating your mind with something other than the voices screaming inside your head. But she lets the lower part of her clothes slide off her legs to the floor anyway, and pushes the robe you wear off your shoulders so that it joins with her garments.

It's easier not to think about things when your fingers slide with ease in between her folds, and much more so when her own works between your legs, Leigh's teeth trapping your lower lip when the sounds she loves so much start to leave your mouth unintentionally. The warmth in the pit of your stomach spreads throughout your entire body, the nails of her free hand scratching your back and her moans helping just as much as the sensation to keep the doubts at bay. But the moment your high takes over you, you close your eyes, and the scene of that night in the office behind your closed eyelids is almost as vivid as witnessing it with your bare eyes.

Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you shouldn't have done this at all. Leigh's loud moan and her walls squeezing your fingers let you know she's reached her own high. But they also make your eyes water, your chest tighten. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You should be thinking about your wife and your wife alone - underneath you with her breathing ragged, not with her ex-boyfriend's lips all over her. The idea makes your stomach churn.

In Leigh's head, however, in the last few months, there has never been a more hopeful moment than this, the undone knot below her belly also undoing some of the tension in her shoulders. You are hers and she is yours. Things might be hard and you might have lost each other for a moment, but she can feel it now. Things would get better. "I lo-" Her lazy words are cut off by your lips pressed to hers harshly. 

You can't hear that. You can't say that. Hell, you can't talk right now. The heat of the moment leaves all your emotions running wild. Any words spoken now would be a mistake, a path of no return. So you use your mouth for something else, running it all the way down her body, tracing the path you know drives her crazy, scolding yourself for thinking so much about what it was like for her when it was with him. Her hands in your hair when you reach your destination work like an anchor; grounding you to that moment with her, to your wife.

But then she's cumming again, against your lips this time, and when she tugs on your hair for you to come back up, it's all back again. All the pain, the doubts, the insecurities. You love her. You know you do. And there's still hope in you that it will all work out. Even if you can’t see how right now. She smiles at you when you climb your way back to her and smiling back at her is so easy. Why can't it all be this easy?

"I'm gonna get you some water." You say the first thing in your mind, an excuse to get out of that room before you explode. "I can go with you." Her eyebrows are frowning but the smile is still on her lips. She seems more at peace than she's been in quite a while, and you find yourself hating yourself for not trying as hard as you could. "It's okay, you must be tired."

"Will you come back?" Her question is uncertain, her eyes scanning yours with concern. You don't know what gave you away. Whether it was your voice, your expression, or just the fact that she knew you better than anyone else. But you force a smile anyway, ignoring the lump in your throat to kiss her forehead. "Of course." You can feel her body relaxing against yours at your reassurance, nodding as she lazily runs her fingers down your back in a gesture that was meant to be a caress, but which makes your skin burn in every place she touches. 

"Okay." Leigh gives you her confirmation, and you waste no time standing up, ignoring the pain in your body from the injuries of your hiking incident. You can feel your wife's eyes following your every movement, but you avoid her gaze at all costs as you put your robe back on. You flash her a short smile as you reach the door, however, receiving an - although content - uncertain one. And, finally out of the room, you don't fight the tears in your eyes anymore.

In the morning, you wake up with the searing pain the adrenaline and pain killers from the hospital had protected you against. Leigh is quick to take care of you. She cleans and redresses your wounds, then she quickly goes out to have your prescription filled so you don’t have to. The rest of the day she lets you rest and comes to your aid whenever you need. You were relieved that she spent most of her time outside of the room with your daughter. Anytime she was in the room only made it more confusing in your mind. It reminds you of that time in college, before the two of you got together. 

You had gotten so sick that you couldn’t even get out of bed. Your roommates had abandoned you because it was close to the final exams and none of them could afford to get sick. Not that you blamed them, if it had been any of them you would’ve moved out just to be safe. Besides, it wasn’t like you were close with any of them. Leigh was the only person that cared to check on you when she noticed you weren’t in class. You tried to push her away, but she stayed and she took care of you. She made you feel things you never felt for or from a person before with that act of kindness. Shortly after that, you asked her out and never regretted that decision once. Being taken care of by her now made you want to stay. 

But once you’re rested and no longer need the medication to manage the pain, you sign a year lease on an apartment. She is livid when you are packing your things. Throwing your clothes at you as she rips them out of the boxes. You let her get it out, at least she wasn’t holding back anymore and it made you proud. When she broke down in tears, you held her until she fell asleep. You waited until she left for work before you moved your boxes into your car. 

Settling into your apartment is the worst night of your life. You wanted to be home with your daughter. You didn’t want to be alone in this empty place. Nonetheless, you survive the night and the next and the next. You don’t make the place feel like home, you don’t even set up the second bedroom for Briana. You don’t want your daughter to be here ever but that means you see less of her. It hurts but you made a promise that you weren’t giving up and that would be giving up. The boxes you have are the only things you use for your clothes. The only piece of furniture that you buy is a mattress and box spring because you need it in order to get sleep. But the quality of rest you get is very low since you don’t have your family with you. 

The only time you see Briana is when you need to pick her up from school and drop her off with either Amy or Jules. Sometimes you extend the visits by getting a treat with her, or even picking up some new popular toy that she absolutely must have. Briana is happy about those things, until she asks you when you’re coming back home. You always disappoint her with not having a set answer. 

You see Leigh at the couple therapy sessions that have gone from quiet and polite to screaming matches which progress further to finally hearing each other out and even making each other laugh again. It was much like riding a roller coaster and it made you recognize that life was a roller coaster. Full of highs and lows, good times and bad. That life will always be that way, regardless if you give up on something or keep working on it. You were grateful that not only you chose to but that she chose to keep fighting as well. 

At the end of the most recent session, your therapist gives the strangest homework assignment you’ve ever been given in your life. She assigns the two of you to go out on a date together. You were to take her out on a date sometime between this appointment and the next one. You didn’t like the idea of it being something that was expected of you. Something like that should be something more natural. Something you’re allowed to do and not have to do. But Leigh seemed to be hopeful and looking forward to the date.

The two of you leave the session side by side and you aren’t sure when you’re supposed to ask her. Or even if you’re supposed to or just set a place and time. Reaching the parking lot, Leigh lets you know what direction her car is parked, yours happened to be on the opposite side of the lot. So before you separate, you figure it would be best to set a plan. “Listen, I want to ask you out. I do, but,” you sigh, putting your hands into the pocket of your pants. “What does your work schedule look like? So I won't pick a bad day for you.” 

“Oh, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” She plays with her car keys nervously. “Well, a few weeks ago, someone told Matt about our separation,” she gestures between the two of you and you worry about where this was going. “He requested that I stay behind one day and I thought it was going to be constructive feedback about something I had submitted and was waiting to hear back on. But instead he confessed his undying love for me and tried to kiss me.” The annoyance in her tone and features amuse you and you choose to focus on that instead of getting upset. “He didn’t get close enough, of course, I shut it down and I just quit. I gathered my belongings and got out of there. I’m back to working for my mom, so any night is good for me.” 

You stand there, stunned. “Wow, okay, how do you feel about that? I know the last thing you wanted to do was go back to that place.” 

Leigh shrugs with a slow smile, she looks so much lighter. You hadn’t realized how different she looked until now. “It’s actually not so bad. I started working on my first novel since I have so much free time. Besides, I get to be with Bri more than I have since I went on maternity leave. Nothing is better than that.” 

You smile, a little jealous about how much she gets to be around your daughter. “Yeah, I bet it’s amazing. She, uh, she mentioned something about you being home a lot. I just thought that meant no more late nights.” You take your phone out to check your calendar and pick a day that works best for you. “How does that sound?” You ask sheepishly. It was strange, having to ask the woman you married out on a date. You felt like you were doing it all wrong, but with the way things were, it didn’t seem like there was a right way.

“Yeah, it works. Although, I have an early curfew,” she says in remarks to Briana’s bedtime ritual. 

“Right, of course. I promise to have you home by eight. Eight thirty the latest.” The two of you go your separate ways and the rest of the week you have a new giddiness that you haven’t felt since the beginning of the relationship. You make reservations at a nice restaurant, making sure to let her know where you’re taking her. You have your best outfit dry cleaned and you even get your car washed. 

The night that you show up, knocking on the front door with two chocolate roses, she opens the door dressed in a honey plaid blazer, a black blouse, and black jeans. She is stunning and you’re left speechless. It was a new outfit and you felt bad that you didn’t do the same for her, but she knew that you weren’t as involved in your clothing. In fact, she’s the one who helped you upgrade your style. It wasn’t a full on makeover kind of thing but you appreciated that she helped you with owning clothing for special occasions. 

You hand her one of the roses. “One for you and,” Briana comes running to the door to greet you, “one for you!” She excitedly pulls you through the door to show you something. It was the first time in months that you’ve been inside your own house. Everything looked so different. Nothing was, maybe a new throw pillow or piece of framed kids artwork, but nothing significant was different. And yet, it all looked different. Felt different. You look over at Leigh, emotions starting to build up, “Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, we have to wait for Jules,” she responds as she spins the stem of the fake flower between her fingers. On the first Valentine's day the two of you had as a couple, she didn’t want you to do anything crazy special. She wasn’t into the corporate holiday, but you still showed up to her dorm with a chocolate rose and took her out. That time it was a simple dinner at a fast food place and to a movie because that’s all that you could afford. What you did varied each year but every Valentine’s after that, you made sure to buy her a chocolate rose. One year you even tried to make one, you failed but she loved it anyway. The last one you gave her was the year she was pregnant with Briana. She had all but forgotten about them. It was one of those little things that Dr. Robbins talked about. “I thought you might like some extra time with Bri,” she grins at you. 

“Thank you,” you say and let Briana take you on a tour of your home. She thinks that you have forgotten it and she needs to remind you of what everything looks like. She ends her tour at the wall of photos so that you can admire them. There were pictures of you and Leigh when you were young and in love. Baby pictures of Briana. Photos of family events. A few pictures of Jules with different partners. She always requested that Leigh take them down after every break up but she never did. You know it was because Leigh did it to mess with her little sister which normally amused you until you noticed a new picture on the wall. It was the picture from the office holiday party at Leigh’s work. It isn’t a picture of you and her, it was of her and Matt. 

Leigh joins your side to look at the pictures with you. She makes some small talk, mentioning the memories of photos she points out. Then she notices that you’re not really paying attention to her and she follows your gaze. “Oh shit,” she quickly removes it from the wall. “I told Jules to get rid of it! I can’t believe this is where she put it!” She struggles with opening the frame. “I can explain this, I promise. It’s not at all what it looks like. I swear I didn’t even know it was up here.” 

You quietly take it from her hands and stare at it. They are posing together because someone must’ve requested it. His arm is around her and he is smiling at the camera. Leigh is holding a flute of champagne and smiling at him. Her expression is soft and it looks similar to the ones around the rest of the wall, where she’s looking at you, but there is something else there. Something darker. She was in pain. She wasn’t in love with him. She was just feeling the way she did when she was first with him. Insecure and lost. You weren’t the one who made her feel that way so it wasn’t associated with you. It was associated with him. She thought what she was feeling toward him was romantic but it was just a cry for help. You clench your jaw as you tap the wood of the frame against the palm of your hand. “Where did this come from?”

“He sent it, with a note and some flowers. I tore up the note and threw out the flowers. It came in a different frame and I gave it to Jules because she liked it. She was there when it was delivered. He had it sent to my new job. I guess she reframed it to get back at me or something. It’s a sick joke,” she explains and reaches to take it from your hands but you hold onto it. “Stop, it’s just a stupid picture,” she says in a whisper.

You nod in agreement, it was a stupid picture. But it reminded you where you failed as a spouse. Which made it less stupid. “I think we should burn it,” you suggest. “Just to see if it will reappear again. Maybe he got a witch to enchant it or something.” 

Leigh scoffs, “You’re joking? I’m over here having a heart attack and you’re making jokes!” 

You shrug, “I’m pretty serious about burning it but if you find humor in it, good for you.” Then to let her know that you are making light of the situation, you break into a grin and she shakes her head at you. Jules rushes into the house and she freezes at the sight of you holding the picture in your hand. “Oh good, we can go now.” You hand the picture frame to Jules, “Not funny, but nice try. Have fun with Bri.” Jules shuts her eyes and curses to herself as she holds the frame. 

“Leigh,” she starts an apology but her sister tells her to save it. She really didn’t care to hear it. The two of you say goodnight to Briana on your way out. Then walk hand in hand to your car. 

During dinner, you can’t help thinking how different things feel with her. It was a good difference, but it was an adjustment. It’s been a while since you’ve shared a meal with her and even longer since you’ve had a decent conversation with her. She talked mostly of her life without you and it hadn’t hit you how long the two of you had been separated for. And you didn’t realize how much you put your life on pause for. Leigh was talking about having started a book club with her friends who meet every other week to discuss the books they choose. That Briana had really gotten into art more than ever before. She was also having playdates regularly with her new best friend that you hadn’t heard of before. She talked about how helpful her mom and sister have been since the separation. That she even has a better relationship with her father and how much her therapy has been helping. 

There was so much going on in her life that you were having a hard time imagining a place for you in it. Other than the couples therapy where you’re back in her life for an hour a week. She was fine without you. She doesn’t need you. “What about you?” She asks when she notices how quiet you’ve been. “What have you been up to lately?”

It takes you a moment to come up with an answer that didn’t sound sad. You didn’t want to drop the good mood she was in but you weren’t able to match her level. “Uh, I go to work, I pick up Bri, and then I go home. I don’t do much else, except of course the thing with you.” 

“Oh,” she isn’t sure what else to say. “You know that you can always have Bri over if you–”

You shake your head, “I didn’t want that. I,” you sigh and drop your fork to your plate. “My apartment isn’t furnished or decorated. I don’t want it to be a permanent place. It’s not supposed to be. When we started this, I thought we would still see more of each other–”

“That’s not how we give each other space.”

“I know,” you sigh, “I know but still. I didn’t think that I was supposed to have a life, you know outside of trying to get ours back.” Your tone was heavy with upset and accusation. 

Leigh drops her utensils, “I’m only doing what was asked of us. Which was to find ourselves outside of our marriage. No one told you to sit and wait for things to get better.” 

“Don’t give me that, I like who I am in our marriage. I like staying home with you and Bri on a Friday night. I don’t like other people, I don’t like going out, I never have. You know that,” you respond. 

“I know, but sometimes I like to go to dinners with my friends. The kind that they bring their spouses along to. I always felt, I don’t know, left out because you wouldn’t go to those.” 

“This again? Leigh, every time I go to those I upset everyone. I thought we agreed it was better that I just stayed home.” 

“Yes, this again. Maybe you could try treating other people like they are people. Like the way you treat me and Bri. Why can’t you be funny and kind to everyone else?” 

“Because I don’t care about everyone else!” You close your eyes to center yourself and lower your voice. “It’s hard for me to talk to people. You know that.” 

She nods and crosses her arms, “I do, and I think it might be something you should work on. I love our time alone together, Y/n. But I need more. If you were in my shoes, you would too. I don’t always enjoy the company of others but sometimes I do and I want to be able to share that with you. The way my friends can with their people.” 

You mirror her and cross your arms over your chest. “You’ve changed and I’m happy for you. That’s what you wanted to do and I still care about you. But I’m not changing who I am. I like who I am,” you shrug. 

She nods a couple of times before slightly leaning over the table to keep her words private as the two of you are getting the attention of others. “So basically, you’re just waiting for me to come back to you. To a marriage that wasn’t working. After all of this work I’ve done on myself to fix this marriage.” 

You shake your head, “What are you talking about? Plenty of people would be happy with our arrangement.” 

“Well I’m not any of those people and I’m telling you that I’m not happy about it,” she states sharply. 

“I see,” you poke your tongue around the inside of your mouth. “I think I’m ready to go home now,” you wave the waiter over to ask for the check and Leigh puts up no protest. When you drop her off at the house Jules asks how it went and you only thank her for watching Briana. That night you start looking for ideas for Briana’s bedroom. This was going to take longer than you originally thought and you couldn’t keep going on without being around your daughter.

At the next session, Leigh is quick to tattle on you for not working on yourself and the therapist agrees with her. You haven’t been putting in the required work in order for things to progress. You needed to find yourself outside of the marriage. You needed to have interests other than the bare minimum. You needed to have a life that wasn’t just staying home, eating frozen meals, and watching the entirety of streaming channels on your laptop. You needed to stop waiting. 

So you start looking online for things to do outside of work. You go to a local activities center to sign up for different clubs to test them out. You find no joy in any of them and get yourself kicked out of three. You also start seeing a therapist for yourself. Well, you cycle through a different therapist a week for five weeks. Unable to connect with a single one, until you give up and settle for the sixth one. After two months of going to a therapist, you didn’t feel any different in where you stand. But you offered Leigh a compromise to host more dinner parties at home, not seeing the reason to go out when they could come over. She liked the idea but only if you agreed to go out at least once a month. Reluctantly, you agree. 

Dr. Robbins congratulates the two of you on the progress and assigns another date. This time you have more stories to share with her. Hectic things that happen at work, the things you do with Bri when she’s over at your apartment, the hobbies and activities you’ve failed at and the stuff you actually took a liking to. “Now, it’s not a group thing like your book club. But trust me, individually adding those beads to the sticky paper has really kept me sane the past few months. I can show you some of the ones I’ve done so far!” You reach for your phone to show her but she stops you. 

“It’s okay, I can see them the next time I drop Bri off. No devices, remember?” 

“Oh, right,” there was a small list of rules that the therapist gave the two of you for how to go on the date. The most important one being no distracting electronics of any kind. “How is the book club?” 

Leigh smiles, “It’s been good. I um, I actually gave them all of the chapters that I have finished so far when no one could agree on a book and the feedback was very positive and some of them even had helpful ideas. It was really amazing seeing people so engaged with something I wrote.” 

“That’s amazing! I’m not surprised at all, you’re a talented writer and I’m so glad that you finally see that.” She thanks you for the compliment with flushed cheeks and you smile back at her. It goes quiet for a bit after that. The two of you enjoying the food in front of you. “I would love to read it when you’re ready to share it with me,” you eventually say. 

“Oh, yeah, I’ll email it to you as soon as I get home.” You thank her while taking a sip of your drink and she stops moving her full fork as she recognizes a certain piece of jewelry on your hand. “You put it back on,” she points to your wedding ring. 

“Oh, yeah, I did.” You flex your fingers out in front of you. “My assistant asked if the divorce was finalized and it put me in a bad mood. I hadn’t even thought about it since I took it off. I wasn’t even sure that I brought it with me when I moved out but, well, there it is.” You resume eating and the rest of the meal, Leigh has a smile on her face. She finally felt like she was going in a good direction with you. 

At the end of the date, you walk her to the front door but she doesn’t open it as fast as she did last time. “Well,” she says and you look at her cluelessly. She lets out a soft laugh as she licks her lips. “I’m pretty sure this is the part where you kiss me goodnight.” 

“On the first date?” 

She gives you a look that says are you kidding me? “Technically it's our second.”

“Ah, because the first one went so well,” you say playfully. 

“And last time I checked, we’re still married,” she says matter-of-fact. 

You look to her hand to see her wedding ring then drop your gaze to your hand and nod, “That’s true.” You weren’t sure why you were being hesitant so you lean in and just as your lips are about to meet, Jules opens the door startling the two of you apart.

“Oh, that’s why. My bad, carry on,” she shuts the door. You and Leigh share a laugh but she still expects a kiss. Now you know why you weren’t so quick to kiss her. You were still so in love with her that you would probably throw all of the work out the window and come back home and never attend another couples session. The last time you kissed her you allowed things to go further than you probably should’ve. Or, kissing her could make you realize that all of this work might not be worth it anymore. That it could be easier to go your separate ways. 

So much can be undone by this one kiss and that idea almost seemed ridiculous to you. Until you remember why you’re here in the first place. You try to block it out of your mind. You didn’t need to go back there. You need to be here, in this moment, with her. Leigh starts to get discouraged by how long it’s taking you to make a simple move on her. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe she should’ve waited, or maybe she should’ve just done it herself. Then you place an intimate kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry,” you whisper. “It’s too much right now. I’m not there yet.” 

She nods in understanding and places her hand on your cheek, she rubs her thumb back and forth as she admires you for a moment. “It’s okay, another time,” she says hopefully but you aren’t certain there will be one. You nod, for her sake, maybe even for yours, and wish her a goodnight. 

Because the date went so well, you’re encouraged to go on more. But it felt… odd. To be dating the woman you married close to ten years ago. It almost felt like an entirely new relationship. The two of you were living separate lives for the most part; homes, friends, etc. Nothing was what it used to be, which is a tough pill to swallow but people aren’t meant to stay the same forever. They’re meant to grow, evolve. This was the two of you evolving, separately but somehow still together. The fact that the good elements from your old relationship still existed and only seemed better than before was comforting. As for the old problems, the two of you discover them and deal with them as they arise. Instead of pretending they don’t exist or hoping they disappear on their own. 

Physically, you’re still keeping your distance. You hug her at the end of the dates, or kiss her forehead, or caress her face. But never go further than that. Still working through the issues you have with being physically intimate. As for emotionally, you don’t believe there was ever a time when you and Leigh were so vulnerable and intimate with each other. Yes, the both of you could argue knowing each other more than anyone else, but there were so many new sides that you were learning of. Not just from her but from yourself as well. You were learning how to better communicate with other people and even managed to meet people you actually enjoyed talking with. You hadn’t realized before that your friends were really Leigh’s friends. 

Now that you started meeting with a few people after work to have a few drinks every so often, you started to feel less lonely. That was part of the problem with Leigh. The only time you didn’t feel alone before was either with her or with Briana, that wasn’t fair to either of them. Now, you had people to talk to that you weren’t paying for and they had similar interests that you didn’t have to introduce to them and explain over and over. It was fun and it was easy. 

Then they planned a dinner where they included their significant others and the loneliness returned. You finally understood what Leigh meant when she mentioned that she felt left out. Yes, there are moments when everyone engages on a topic, but there are also the moments when people have conversations amongst themselves. It was awkward and you missed Leigh. You know that she would have come if you had invited her. But you needed to experience this without her in order to understand.

The session after that, you apologize for being stubborn and for isolating yourself from the world for so long which in turn isolated her from it. To reward the impressive strides of progress the two of you have made as individuals and as a couple, the next assignment is for the two of you to make your own moves in the relationship. Without her input or guidance. The therapist encouraged the two of you to still come to counseling, because it’s good for even the healthiest of couples but it wouldn’t be weekly and she was no longer going to give assignments. What happens from here, it is up to you and Leigh. 

That created some anxiety for you but you already knew what you wanted to do. It was something you had been wrestling with for sometime. But as you’re walking to your car, this time parked next to hers, Leigh startles you by saying, “I think we should have sex.” You lose balance when you trip over your own foot but you catch yourself before you make an even bigger fool of yourself. “I just… We haven’t in a long time. You know, not since…” she trails off. 

“I remember,” you give her an apologetic glance. During one of the sessions you had to talk about why you still left after that night. What was going through your head when you slept with her. The hard part wasn’t telling her how you felt. The hard part was hearing what was going through her mind when she made love to you that night. She was heartbroken and angry with you to find out that you used her the way that you did. Not only that you slept with her and made her feel wonderful during one of her most vulnerable nights. It was the hope that you gave her that hurt her the most. Part of you even knew what that night would mean for her. But you did it anyway. She has since forgiven you as you have forgiven her. But that didn’t mean the reminder didn’t sting a little. 

Leigh gingerly places her hand on your forearm, “I’m not saying right now or tomorrow. I’m just putting it out there.” She works her hand up your arm as she stands closer to you, so that you can smell her perfume. It was the kind that drove you crazy and she knew that. Clearly, she’s had some ways to improve the relationship on her mind as well. “I want you,” she says in a low, alluring tone. “I need you,” she tucks her bottom lip under her teeth as she meets your eyes with hers. She was doing all of the old tricks she knew that used to hypnotize you. Fortunately for her, they were still working. You were having a hard time not kissing her. But in the parking lot of the therapist's office was not the place you wanted to kiss her for the first time. 

“I’ll, um,” you swallow thickly, “I’ll think about it. We should uh, we should go. I think we have to um. You have a babysitter for Bri right? Wouldn’t want to have to pay her more than you already do, right?” You adjust the collar of your shirt and Leigh takes pleasure in watching your squirm. She wasn’t certain if she could still have that effect on you. It was almost better than if you gave into her right now. 

She shakes her head with a soft giggle, “She’s at your apartment with a sitter. Remember?” 

“She is?” You look away from Leigh to collect your thoughts. “Right, right, she is. Well, I have to go,” you finally step away from her. “I’ll call you later,” you say as you unlock your car. She nods once as she confidently struts to her car, knowing that your gaze is on her. You start the car when she starts hers and it’s taking everything in you to not jump into her car and give her what she wants right then and there. 

You take the long way back to your apartment to cool off. Leigh had awakened something inside of you that had been asleep for far too long. You go through a drive-thru to pick up dinner for you and Briana because there was no way you were going to be able to focus long enough to cook. You just had to get her fed and put to bed so that you could go to sleep. That is, if you can fall asleep. 

The task proves to be a difficult one when all you can do is think about being with Leigh. It doesn’t help when she sends you a short video to tease you. It wasn’t anything too revealing, her face wasn’t even in the frame, she was in her pajama shorts and had on one of your t-shirts that you left behind. But the shirt wasn’t covering her stomach. She had it bunched up to show her smooth skin as she ran her fingers down the length of her abdomen and stopped at the top of her shorts. All you could respond with was calling her evil. She wished you goodnight and you wanted to throw your phone across the room just so you could tear your eyes away from the video. It was so simple, yet it triggered many pleasurable memories of being with her. Shaking your head, you reach your hand into your pajama pants knowing that you wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise. 

The next day, when you knew she was at work, you send her a spicy text message which she opened near Jules. Her sister didn’t see anything, she wasn’t even paying attention to Leigh. But the second she realized what the message was, she covered her screen as if you had sent a dirty picture. Her reply made you laugh as she scolded you for trying to distract her at work. You told her it was payback for making you lose sleep. 

This led to a series of teasing each other when either of you least expected it. That is, until one day Briana is playing on Leigh’s phone and you had sent a link of something you wanted to try with Leigh. Thankfully, Briana didn’t see anything, all she did was excitedly return the device to her mom. She was always happy to see you and Leigh talking to each other. Leigh texted you immediately that the game was over and why. You couldn’t agree more, you don’t even want to think about what Briana could’ve seen had the situation been reversed. 

On a date with Leigh, this time at your apartment for a special meal you made instead of an expensive restaurant, you try to figure out how to tell her what the next step in the relationship it is that you want to take. You make a nice setting, she has a glass of wine, there are candles lit around. A few in the kitchen, one on the coffee table, and another in the center of the dinner table. Not enough to maintain lighting. But enough to keep the place smelling nice. You have the lighting on a low setting, to give off the romantic candle lit date effect which she appreciates the efforts you were making. 

Leigh was hopeful this evening would lead to more physical events. She wasn’t expecting sex, but she was expecting something more than a hug. Though, she most definitely had the former on her mind. It was almost impossible not to. She thought you were the most attractive person she had ever laid her eyes on and she was human. She has needs that only you could fulfill.

She was sitting at the kitchen counter, watching you cook and imagining being with you again. You were going over your speech in your head as you tried to keep a light conversation between the two of you. Effectively ignoring her bedroom eyes. She hardly responds, most of the time you have to repeat yourself because she was lost in a daydream. When you serve the food you have her move over to the table and fumble trying to bring up why you asked her on this date in the first place. “So, my landlord emailed me the other – what are you doing?” You were sitting close to her and she was taking full advantage, she had one hand on your thigh as she ate her food with the other. 

Leigh shrugs and plays it off, “Nothing. This is really good by the way. Where did you get the recipe?”

You clench your jaw to focus on her question and not how good her touch felt. “My,” you clear your throat, “it was something my mom taught me during her last visit.” 

“Awe, I miss your mom. She finally started talking to me again, but she’s still not happy with me.” 

“Yeah, she’ll come around. Eventually,” you grab your water and gulp half of it down because your mouth has suddenly gotten very dry. Her fingers were only lightly caressing the fabric of your jeans, something that wouldn’t normally affect you so much, but after a long time of abstaining it was making your entire body scream for her. Now, with your mind completely invaded with thoughts of Leigh, you throw your entire plan out the window. It could wait a little longer. This, however, could not.

"Yeah, I was actually thinking of- humpf!" Whatever Leigh was about to tell you was cut short by your lips crashing against hers, so eagerly that she almost knocks her drink. But the loud surprised noise she gave woke you up immediately, widening your eyes as you pulled away from her - fighting the heavy magnetic field that keeps your body so close to her. "I-I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking-" Now it's your time to be interrupted, her mouth coming back to yours at record time. "Don't apologize, I like it when you don't overthink things, just... Do what you want."

"What I want now is to take you to my bedroom." You let her know in a hoarse voice, your lips still tingle as you gaze at her own, watching as the corners of her mouth lift up in a smirk. "Well," she starts in a husky voice, leaning forward, smiling proudly at the way your eyes descend to the low cleavage of the dress she so carefully picked with those exact intentions.  "What are you waiting for?"

Your eyes snap back up to hers as you smile softly. In silence, you stand up from your chair, holding your hand in front of your body for her to take. Leigh does so with a smile of her own on her lips, making a point of keeping her body as close to yours as possible as she places herself on her feet. But the little distance between your torsos is still too wide for her, so she uses her free hand to wrap it on your tie, pulling you closer until your mouth is back at hers again. 

The action makes you groan as you remember all the other times she's done it before. Of you coming home from dates before and after you got married, or even just those times you got back from work and were greeted with your wife with a fire that only you were able to put down. And it also made you remember how this one was the first real kiss you’ve shared since that night. The last time you touched her in all these months. No wonder why you missed her so much, why her tongue sliding against yours is driving her crazy. 

You pulling her up by her thighs surprised Leigh greatly, but she took no time wrapping her legs around your body, deepening the kiss as her arms loosely enveloped around your neck. As you take her to your destination, eyes closed and mouths messily pressed together, bumping into pieces of furniture along the way is inevitable. But both of you laugh every time you do, and the sound of her laugh makes your heart fill with such love you can't even process it. The way she smiles against your lips lets you know she's feeling the same way. 

When you reach the bedroom, you press her against the closest wall to keep her steady. But your back was still hurting sharply, and you groan as you put her back on the floor. "Sorry, I guess I'm too old for that." You comment sheepishly, but the giggle she lets out is content, and she looks at you so dearly that you feel like there's not a single reason to be embarrassed. "It's okay, that was hot enough." Leigh answers good-naturedly, and now it's your time to laugh, shaking your head with amusement before kissing her again.

This kiss, however, is completely different from the others. Your lips meet slowly, savoring the taste you haven't had in so long, the feeling you've been craving more than any of you thought possible. Leigh makes her move first, her fingers working on your tie with expertise, loosening around your neck before taking it off. Before the item even hits the floor, her hands are on the buttons of your shirt, undoing each one as you trailed your kisses down her neck, sucking the sensitive spots you know drive her crazy. 

When she reaches the last button, her hands are back on your shoulders to push the shirt off. But this time you stop her, moving your fingers - previously holding her waist - to her own shoulders, pushing the thin straps of her dress to the sides. Before you have to ask, Leigh spins on her heels, her back to you as she pushes her hair to the side, giving you a better view of the dress zipper. So you take advantage of the exposed skin to kiss the back of her neck, smiling against her as you hear her holding her breath. 

As you finally pull the zipper down, you put some distance between the two of you, just enough so Leigh is able to step out of her dress comfortably. But you catch yourself staring at her figure as the thin fabric slides down her body, exposing her body to you. You have seen it thousands of times, but you're absolutely certain you will never get used to the heavenly scene - much less when you noticed she was wearing no bra underneath her clothes, only her underwear covering her sculpted body. 

"Is everything okay?" Leigh asks when she turns around and catches you frozen in place, somewhat uncertain. "I'm just admiring you." You answer, unable to do anything other than smile. Your wife offers you a shy smile, her cheeks taking on a slight shade of pink. The whole composition takes your breath away. "You're gorgeous." 

"And you're the most beautiful human being I've ever seen." She hits back as she approaches you again, her hands finding their way to your chest underneath your unbuttoned shirt. "Someone's gotta tell you what a mirror is." You joke with your hands on the bare skin of her waist, making her smile with amusement, muttering softly against your lips, "Shut up." She does it for you, however, kissing you again at a deliciously slow pace that makes your head spin. 

As she finally gets to push your shirt off your shoulder, you grab her buttcheeks, pressing her body against yours and savoring the way she moans against your mouth. The sound, however, awakens in you an even stronger type of need. So the moment your shirt is on the floor, you walk with her towards the bed. When her calves hit the mattress, Leigh sits down on the bed, moving her hands to your hips to keep you in place. Before you can ask what's wrong, she's working on the zipper of your jeans, her eyes fixed on yours as she pulls your pants down making your mouth go dry. 

As soon as you step out of the piece of clothing, Leigh takes your hands in hers, inviting you to lay on top of her. Obeying her quickly, you smile when your face is hovering over hers, drinking her in, admiring her as if she was the most beautiful work of art you've ever seen in your life - because that's exactly what she is. Her green eyes shine into yours like a million little stars, and if you were able to read her mind right now, all you'd hear was Leigh screaming how much she loves you, how deeply she needs you. But you can't. And you don't even have to, for her body tells you these exact same things every time you touch her. 

Peppering kisses along her jaw, you slide your hand up her inner thighs, slowly making your way to her center. Once your fingers rest over her covered intimacy, Leigh sighs heavily in anticipation, her fingers gripping your shoulders to encourage you to go further. So you pull her panties down her legs, and Leigh helps you by moving them until the small item slides to the bedroom floor. With your eyes locked on hers, you slide your fingers along her folds, collecting her wetness in your digits before you start drawing light patterns along her clit. 

Leigh shudders with the touch, her body burning, and her skin tingling. But she holds your gaze firmly, unable to look away. Completely hypnotized by how beautiful you are in her eyes, by how much she loves you and how much you mean to her. As your movements grow faster you start to leave wet kisses along her neck, going down to her collarbone. "Wait." She calls out when she feels you moving your body down. You stop yourself in place, wondering what you've done wrong. But all she gives you is a tender smile, wrapping her arms around your body in a loose hug as she explains, "I want you up here. So I can hold you."

The smile you give her is blinding, filling her chest with all the best things that exist in the vast, unknown universe that surrounds you both. But nothing out there matters now. All that matters are your fingers fucking her the way only you are able to do, your mouth so expectantly kissing her that that alone would be able to drive her crazy. But you're willing to give her so much more than that, of course, and when you thrust two fingers inside her, curling her in that way you know she likes most, Leigh's back arches up, her torso pressed against yours as she moans loudly, her nails scratching your back making your own core boil. 

It doesn't take long for Leigh to reach her limit, moans and whimpers leaving her lips as she spasms beneath you, your name coming out in a cry of pleasure as her orgasm washes over her. Her trembling hand rests over your wrist to ask you to stop, and you do so with a smile on your lips, watching as she breathes in and out with her eyes closed. "I love you." The words leave your mouth with ease, and Leigh's eyes snap open immediately, a sea of green meeting yours with a multitude of emotions. "I love you too." She lets you know tearfully, and you let out a happy giggle, kissing her one more time before you pull away again to say, "and I want you to sit on my face."

"What?!" She asks with a laugh, shocked by the unexpected request. "What?!" You ask as if it was the most natural thing to ask your beautiful wife, smiling amusedly at her cheeks burning red. Your question makes her laugh some more, shaking her head at your attitude. Leigh missed this the most, your relaxed nature, so comfortable with her you know you could say anything to her, the same way you would hear anything she has to say. It is at times like these that she's most certain that you are the only person she would ever want in her life.  

"Are you sure about this?" She asks, this time with concern, and you place a finger under your chin as you pretend to think. "Wait, let me think of reasons why I wouldn't want you sitting on my face, I'm sure there are many." Your answer makes her laugh wholeheartedly, the sound warming your soul entirely. And soon after her laughter dies down in a smile, her lower lip trapped between her teeth for a short second before she's kissing you again. As you kiss her back, the two of you move together so she's on top of you instead, and she pulls away to do what you requested of her. 

She looks almost shy as she straddles your face, and you would've made a joke about her doing this a bunch of other times if her smell wasn't intoxicating you so much. As she settles down slowly, you take a hold of her thighs, pressing her further against your as you eat her out, letting your tongue explore every single piece of her. Still affected by her previous orgasm, Leigh has to hold onto the headboard with her eyes closed, and it doesn't take long for her to cum again, spilling her juices into your mouth as your tongue guides her through her high. 

"Baby, please." She asks in a whimper, her hand on your hair as she begs you to stop the overstimulation. Grudgingly, you do so, letting go of her legs so she can lay back down. With an easy smile on her lips, Leigh lies on top of you, kissing you softly and letting out a low moan as she tastes herself on your tongue. But the kiss is short lived due to her tired state, so she soon pulls away and rests her head on your shoulder. You take no time in wrapping your arms around her, drawing small patterns along her hip bone.

In the silent room, the only sounds you hear are those of your breathing and the voices in your head, with a million arguments for you to do something that maybe you shouldn't. But then Leigh's voice speaks louder than all the others in your mind. I like it when you don't overthink things. Maybe you should just do it. "Leigh?" You call out softly after a long moment of silence. "Yeah?" She asks lazily, her breath tingling your skin as she speaks. It takes you another moment to decide, your mouth going dry. But before Leigh can ask what's wrong, you smile to yourself, making up your mind.

"I'm ready to come home."

Taglist: @madamevirgo @wqndanat @thisischaismagic @artisannat @olsensnpm @evenbeingcrazy1998 @bentleywolf29 @awkwardmandalorian @agaymilflover @sayah13 @princessprudy @likefirenrain @tearsofglitter @feltlikethat @piningismymiddlename @the-writer-arcane @diaryoflife @natashasilverfox @karsonromanoff

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A Different Dialect | b.bradshaw

prompt: “You can’t keep hiding this stuff.”- credit: @memesomething

tw:illness—hiding said illness, past child abuse, self esteem issues, protective b.b, readers a mom| dad bradley bradshaw, reader is masking her pain, the word throw up is mentioned and vomit— also the act of throwing up is mentioned, perfectionism, pushing yourself to exhaustion, 15 years into the future

reader goes by angel

children names: Cobie and and Nicky

this a random one-shot/ apart of FALLEN ANGEL Series

AN: Its been awhile since I posted to this series, random idea was born after listeing to Because of You. And i also pulled a quote from one of my fav shows ever Bojack Horseman , ever have a hard time trying to write the middle of a fic

—

Self care….not your biggest strong suit, which is pretty funny for ER/n. Lets just say Bradley doesn’t find it so funny.

This is all started because of your weak immune system. It was shameful how someone who’s been a ER/n for the past decade and half didn’t recognize the severity and symptoms of the flu. For crying out loud your a mom and a wife, your the definition of unstoppable,someone who doesn’t get the chance to fall apart. And yet here we are—laying on bedroom floor, curled up in pain. Weakness doesn’t look good on you Y/n Bradshaw.

Let’s turn the clock back.

This time, you had the chance to hide your sickness from your other half—since he recently taken promotion of Captain he had been busy with students and paper work. As evil as its sounds—you just didnt want him fretting over you, ruining his work schedule because of you, missing out with friend’s because of you.

Being sick today wasn’t any different, you usually toughen it out—pushing yourself while sick was a familiarity, well before you became an adult. You gone to school with body aches, slight fevers, the twins sports game with severe nausea—taking medicine to soothe it. Nothing made you stop—as you learned at a young age age,“Y/n the world doesn’t stop just because your sick.”

You could remember the last time you got sick as a child and the memories are faint but some of it is ingrained into the back of your mind.

“Y/n remember what we say about crying... crying is stupid!"— Dad had grown tired of your loud wails, having come home from a important dinner, he grabbed you by your jaw and gripped it tightly. “Don’t make me have to tell you again”.

You cupped your forehead once again, it felt like someone was taking a knife pulling it in and out. Only couple more hours and twins could be put in their rooms for bedtime. Then you could fall apart—cry if you needed to, throw up if you needed to.

What you didnt expect was your husband to come home early.

“Honey its just a little cold”, you mother batted your hands away from your nose, she stood behind you smoothing the sides of your dresses perfectly.“Your father needs at your best for this dinner, the governor might be considering giving him the funding he deserves”.

You didn’t deserve to be cared for, you didn’t earn the right to stay home like your parents did.

You rolled your shoulders back, you looked in the mirror, praying to god that your mascara didn’t smudge. You put on a fake smile because god forbid you didn’t you smile hard enough infront of strangers your father would have your backside and a belt.

“Come on Y/n, Linda!”’your father shouted from downstairs, he stood at the end of staircase. His shoulders squared straight, his eyes portraying nothing but coldness, it really added to the whole army man persona. “Don’t have all day”.

You sniffled one more time, you swallowed the snot down your throat. Mom hated the way your nose looked after you blew it too many times.

You spent the entire night politely turning down men old enough to your father,while also keeping the bile of vomit down. Multitasker

“Dear god Y/n loosen up, your father needs all the support he can get”. Your mother walked past you, whispering into your ear.

“Yes ma’am, let me go freshen up real quick”, your were face down in toliet, biles of vomit coming up. Remembering where you were, you quickly stood flushing the toliet— you held onto the stall wall.

An older woman passed you onto the way to the sink. “This generation,what makes you think a man is going to want you like that if cant even hold your liquor?”. The silvered hair woman voice held a certain amount of digust that even your own mother couldn’t beat.

Pull yourself together Y/n.

You can do better than this, you were taught trained better than this.

—

Walking through the front door Bradley expected two things, his wife helping the twins with last minute homework Or Cobie and Nicky chasing after Orbit, causing a mess to happen around the house.

Quiet house. Bradley allowed his feet to bring him to their shared bedroom.

He didn’t expect for his wife to laying on the floor curled up in a fetal position.“Angel!” Bradley shouts as he slides on to the ground, he didn’t have time to panic—years of being in miltary and being father kicked in. He pressed his finger into your neck hoping and praying to god there was pulse somewhere.

“Brad?” You open your eyes, your confused the worry look Bradley was wearing.“Whats wrong?”.

“Whats wrong Y/n?” His voice dripping with sarcasm, “I just found my wife unconscious on the floor”. You and Bradley are sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Bradley lets not be hysterical, I wasn’t unconscious I’ve worked a graveyard shift while also taking care of the kids”. Your was voice strained, you lost it while at Cobie soccer game.

You squeezed your eyes the ceiling light was starting to bother you, and because you didn’t want Bradley to see you cry.

Bradley gave you once over and started to feel his bubbling anger starting to faint away. “Angel we’re partners remember?” He’s caressing your face, “I have your six, you know that right?”

You peered your eyes back open, and whispered“I know that, I just…..nevermind it doesn’t matter”.

You start to move away from him“the twins need some important forms signed Brad-Brad and Orbit needs to be let out again”.

“Y/n dont worry about that, right now we need to talk about your lack of self care”. Bradley pulls you back to him, “Please let me take care of you”. The amount of emotion that filled Bradley voice broke your heart, you didn’t mean to make him upset.

“We also need to talk about I didn’t even notice my own damn wife was in so much pain”. Bradley ran his hands through hair, “I mean how I couldn’t I?”.

“Well Brad you’ve been working long hours since becoming a captain, the navy needs you more than usual to”. You smile weakly, the last thing you wanted to do was make Bradley feel bad for being promoted.

“Oh angel Im sorry, thats it I’m taking a leave of absence”. Bradley tone held a no-none sense tone.

“No,no Bradley I’m fine this something im used to, sometimes you need make sacrifices”. You speak like its fact, you’ve never been told otherwise.

Bradley sighs his eyes rimming with tears, its got this far without Bradley noticing.“No Y/n your just used to making unnecessary sacrifices for everyone else”.

“When the last time you’ve been taken care of— when’s the last time I spend the day taking care of you?”. Bradley voice was soft, careful to not wake the kids. “Y/n let me take care of you, my wife the mother of kids deserves to be loved , cherised and taken care of”. His voice is quiet, he puts his hand into yours. “I got you Y/n Helen Bradshaw”.

“I know you do Bradley Peter Bradshaw”.

[rainbow-okapi]

Pokémon Scarlet/Violet headcannons w/MC who has Disabilities

Just me projecting, thought I’d share. Typed very hastily lol pls excuse the errors

Minor Game Spoilers | SFW

It’s is past my bedtime buuuuuuuut… Courtesy of the Arven Brainrot.

- Since Uva/Naranja Academy praises it’s diversity, I think to think they have decent accommodations for students

- There’s alternate routes around Mesagoza with accessible ramps and elevators. There’s no implied rules that students can’t ride a Pokémon up the main stairs of death to get to school either. (As someone with Cerebral Palsy, those stairs… they scare me. I would trip and die instantly if the embarrassment didn’t get me first)

- People don’t really ‘talk’ about the elevators and ramps tho so the faculty usually tell the students when they enroll

- Professors are mindful of students who need to keep snacks on them and will let most Pokémon sit with their trainers during classes for anxiety or other medical reasons

- Ya know the whole extra time on tests and all that. Extra time to get between classes for students with mobility issues.

- Ms. Dendra is a wonderful Battle Studies teacher and I liked to think she also does General PE classes on the side. You think she’s just gonna let children roam around without helping build up a bit of strength for all those hills and mountains they gotta climb??? No, she’s gonna make you run laps.

- She’ll hella nice about it tho. Just send her an email or talk to her before classes and she’ll hit you up with modified workouts so you can still participate with the class on your own preferred level.

- When Director Clavell showed up at the MC’s house at the start of the game and the mom was talking with him, I like to think he was making sure the student file was accurate

- Just so he had all the information to make sure the student would have all the support they needed during their time there at the academy since the MC was staying in the dorms

MOVING ON! Crater Squad GO

- I used to wear Ankle-Foot Orhtotics and had to use a walker for a bit soooo

Nemona:

- Nemona doesn’t even bat an eye at whatever aids you have

- Doesn’t outright ask questions but pays attention if you ever talk about it

- It helps open her world view

- If anything, if you customized them to feel more stylish/comfortable, she’d think it was hella neat! Would probably give you stickers and stuff to add to them

- She’ll probably gift you some of those cool compression sleeves like the one that she wears. Gets excited about what colors you might want and gets very happy if you wear the same color as hers.

- This girl looked at you and adopted you as her freshman rival in a heartbeat

- If anyone messes with you or starts rumors she is on. Their. Asses.

- Immediately reported to the nearest faculty member and will write a full report if the issue persists.

- She knows you can handle yourself though. Even if she worries, she tries not to hover. Will check in with you often tho

- If you have an odd gate (walking pattern) she might forget sometimes when she sees you and freak out that you’re limping from a Pokémon injury or something. A very brief second of panic.

- Catches herself wondering if a task might be too hard for you only to be proven wrong seconds later

- She’s just thinks you’re the coolest

- Doesn’t mind at all if you need to sit down for a bit after battling or on the treasure hunt

- She forgets that some people need breaks often and you asking for one reminds her to take a breather herself

- She has the stamina to battle for two whole hours but even then, she will not get between you and a snack

- Love love Loves how down to earth and practical you are about certain things but you still became a Champion despite everything. She won’t tell you, but the whole Pokémon League is impressed by you

- You’re a beacon of strength to her, even on your bad pain days if you get them

Penny:

- Penny overlaps a bit with Nemona

- Doesn’t bat an eye but will passively look up information

- Prefers to ask you questions tho, sometimes in person, usually over txt

- I like that her room is so dim, if a bit cluttered

- If you chill there for a bit, you will always have at least one Veevee in your lap or next to you

- Penny thinks it’s the cutest and she has a photo of you in a complete pile of Veevee’s

- You fell asleep on her bed and they all just collectively decided to pile on top of you. It was very cozy.

- Penny probably has a weighted blanket or a plush she’ll let you use

- She might even put on some Lo-Fi music if you asked her to, or she’ll play heavy electronic music at a low volume

- She just likes your company, she doesn’t feel pressured around you and she hopes you feel comfortable around her as well

- Worries more vocally than Nemona, and will find herself saying “that seems like a bit much”

- *catches you doing the very thing out of spite*

- “tHAT WASN’T A CHALLENGE?! STOP BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF?!?”

- Always has a snack on her and will share. Only with you tho

Arven ooooh Arven Big Brother Arven:

- Even if he was defensive to you at first, he immediately had a ping of concern when he met you

- Got so worried when you went to take down titans, especially the Open Sky Titan

- Openly asks questions about your disability and DIGS into research about it in his own time

- He wants to know everything and anything he can help with

- You’re convinced that some of that nurturing caregiving he gave to Mabostiff bled over to how he is with you

- Got genuinely curious if the Herba Mystica actually helped you (Especially the Salty Herba Mystica in my case lol)

- He’s always racing to your side to check on you when you actually fight the titans

- Always checks in when walking anywhere

- If the group wants to travel someplace he’s always the first to turn to you and ask if you’re up for it

- Will totally carry you if you just asked. If he’s not wearing his big hiking bag, he will give a piggyback ride. Even in between classes.

- Always reaching out a hand to steady you. Will let you hold onto him for support down/up stairs or slopes

- Cuddles. He can hardly initiate them at first but will never complain if you happen to lean on his shoulder or flop into his lap.

- The off-time he does initiate the cuddles at first, it’s usually to make you stop pushing yourself so hard.

- Oh, look at that, you’re in his lap now… guess you can’t go training like your body is telling you Not To Do But You Decided To Anyway.

- Gets pretty comfortable with Cuddles with you quickly tho. Once he’s gotten off the ‘Oh, Affection for once in my life’ shock

- I imagine he likes to hold hands too.

- He gives you little hand massages if you get fatigue from throwing pokeballs or writing too many notes. He doesn’t realize he does it it sometimes, it just happens if he’s holding your hand at the time.

- Memorizes your favorite comfort foods to make when everything gets too much. Uses your favorite color bowls/plates and everything. It’s perfect.

- Mabostiff declares himself your personal heater. No one has the heart to tell him he’s not quite a lap dog anymore.

Misc. Group ideas:

- all of them subconsciously bracket around you. Arven and Penny are always glaring at anyone who gives you looks

- Nemona also likes to hold hands. She’s always looking for an excuse to pull you around.

- Arven has to tell her to slow down often

- Penny may or may not have gushed to Team Star about you and you are on all of their ‘protect at all costs’ list

- Even if you did wipe the floor with them

- If the group stops by a store but you want to sit outside and wait, Penny will always sit with you to keep you company. She and Arven send each other memes and she’ll show them to you.

- Nemona is the queen of ‘I saw this thing and it reminded me of you’

- Tbh, that happens so often with everyone tho

- If it’s raining and it makes your bones ache and your chronic pain worse, the group will be there at your dorm. They refuse. Absolutely refuse to let you suffer alone.

- You cannot stop them, they just all collectively bee-line straight to you eventually.

- *rain starts pouring down*

- Arven: huh, guess we’re having dinner at my place tonight…

- Group cuddles after dinner. Cuddles and a TV marathon with Pokémon. It’s bliss

[moregraceful]

Stayed up incredibly past my bedtime last night for many reasons both good and bad, but now I'm suffering....but I do have fic for WIP Wednesday

Also pls note that I will add diacritics, I just usually do a find + replace at the end of doc bc the way I have to do diacritics on an American keyboards fucks with the flow of writing

What if I was a goalie...and YOU were a goalie...what if we were BOTH goalies....in the desert

;;

Philipp has all the goalies, rookies, rostered, invites, all, over to his house for a barbecue that he has catered. Chris makes merciless fun of him when he gets there early to help Philipp set up; Philipp smiles at him like he wants something from Chris, and Chris can kind of guess what, but then the doorbell starts ringing.

Ales spends a lot of time badgering Chris about Coachella at the party. Is it warm, what is the food like, where does he live, what is the team like, what size are the cars, how are the fans, what is California like, how far away are they from Seattle, what is it like, how does it all fit together, where does Christ fit in, where will he. Philipp watches from the other side of the yard, drink in hand, and even though he’s surrounded by kids destined for the ECHL, he still raises his glass to Chris. Good luck, he mouths.

Chris and Ales get sent down shortly after, surprising absolutely no one. Joey looks hurt, somehow, when Briere tells them all in a meeting, all the goalies left at the end of camp, who is getting sent down and where. Like Joey really thought he could keep Chris with him. Chris wonders where the kid gets it. Joey’s too old to think that he can play with his friends if he’s good enough to the world around him.

Ales and Chris go to the desert. Philipp and Joey stay in Seattle. Chris drives Ales and Marian down from Seattle to Palm Desert in his SUV and learns 50 new Czech and Slovak insults in a day and half. They don’t stop anywhere for the night; no time. Him and Marian switch off driving, since Ales doesn’t have an American driver’s license, and Marian is a trooper, doesn’t complain at all.

Late night driving through some fuck ass part of the Central Valley, when the car is quiet except for a playlist Philipp made for Chris playing in the background and Marian snoring in the backseat, Chris glances at Ales. Ales had tasked himself with keeping the two of them awake at night, but he’d been silent for so long that Chris wondered if he’d fallen asleep.

Ales has his face pressed to the window. Chris clicks his tongue to get his attention. Ales looks over. He looks fascinated.

“I have never seen so many cows in one pen,” he says.

Chris pulls off at a rest stop to stretch his legs; four hours left in the drive and Marian is passed the fuck out in the third row. He gets out of the car and Ales follows him to a picnic table under fluorescent lights.

He’s wearing a Kraken jersey Chris lent him for the drive. It has Chris’s old number on it. Chris feels something curl tight in his chest at the sight.

He sits across from Ales at the picnic table. Ales hands him some weird Pacific Northwest stimulant drink that’s supposed to fuck with your gut less than Red Bull. It tastes like flat carbonated water, but Chris has to admit it has not yet given him stomach upset.

Chris takes it and cracks it open. He drinks half of it, making a face, before handing it back to Ales.

Ales actually likes that kind of PNW granola shit, is the problem. He’s a good culture fit. Philipp had whispered it in Chris’s ear when he hugged him goodbye; take care of the guy, he’s a good fit for the franchise, just like you.

Chris sits across from Ales. He studies Ales: the laugh lines around his eyes, his strong jaw, his thinning hair that he doesn’t gel outside of game days, sticking out from under Chris’s hoodie. He looks at Ales’s hands, his strong fingers, his thick wrists. His knees bump against Chris’s because the picnic table is small.

Ales looks back. Whatever he sees in Chris makes him smile.

[littlerainyghoul]

Aether trying to put a fussy little dew to bed...sounds like fun lol

Do you think you can write a fic about this?

yeah sure! of course!

I love writing regressed dew, and I think him being fussy fits his personality so well! Thank you for the request!

Without futher ado:

1am shenanigans

Summary: It’s 1am, and a tired Aether is trying to put the very energetic regressed fireghoul to bed.

words: 900

Pairings: Regressed Dewdrop, Caregiver Aether, also brief appearance of Cirrus

The fire ghoul spurled around the room, his body wriggling and gleaming with energy as he chased around the laser pointer Cirrus was playing with around the ghoul common room. He had the been chasing the laser for hours before, and the energy of the ghoul came to no end as he bounced around the room.

“Deww! Its time for some shut eye! It’s 1 am dear” Aether's voice rang out in the ghoul common room, laced with nothing but concern for the fire ghoul. He stepped in front of the energetic rascal, his body exuding a presence of gentle calmness.

"But....Aefey! I don't want to go to bed! I'm not tired" Dewdrop whine, disappointment lingering in his eyes, his nose scrunched in disgust at the idea of being put to bed.

“I know, little firefly, but don't you want to wake up and have the energy to play tomorrow?" Aether spoke, as he gestured to Cirrus to put away the laser pointer.

”Aether is right, you know, I think it's time for us to go to bed“ Cirrus spoke, her voice croaky from all the laughter she passed in the past couple of hours.

”Not tired! Cirrus! Please can we play some more?" Dewdrop shot his words, as he pounced in the air and crossed his arms.

“None can do, kid” Cirrus spoke as she yawned “I'm off to have my evening shower, see ya in the morning Aeth! Goodnight little one!“ she cooed the last part to Dewdrop.

”We need to calm you down, firefly" Aether whispered.

“Aeth, five more minutes? I really want to run around! It's so fun!"

"Nope, all the other ghouls went to bed. Now would you be a good boy for me? I'll tuck you in if you behave" Aether spoke, slight irritation lingering in his voice.

Dewdrop's lower lip jutted out ever so slightly, showcasing the classic sign of a pout. The smooth curve of his lips now held a hint of resistance, a silent protest against the unwelcome suggestion of sleep. Even his fiery aura seemed to flicker with a subdued intensity, mirroring the conflicted emotions etched across his expressive face.

“Please Dew?” Aether begged, his usual friendly and warm eyes tinted with exhaustion, and a hint of concern. "Why do you even want to stay up, anyway?"

"Not tired, Aethy" Dewdrop confessed.

Aether looked at Dewdrop, his eyes reflecting a mix of weariness and amusement. "Come on, firefly, bedtime is calling, and even the laser pointer needs its beauty sleep."

Dewdrop's eyes widened at the mention of the laser pointer, torn between the allure of play and the idea that Aether used his emotions like that.

Aether chuckled, "You know, if the laser pointer could talk, it would probably be saying, 'Enough, Dew, I need a break!'" He mimicked a high-pitched, imaginary voice, eliciting a giggle from Cirrus.

Dewdrop, caught off guard by the unexpected humour, let out a small laugh but still looked reluctant. Aether seized the opportunity to continue the banter. "Besides, if you stay up all night, you'll turn into a nocturnal ghoul, and I'm not sure the others are ready for that."

Cirrus, who turned back from entering her room, joined in, "Yeah, Dew, imagine waking up to find yourself surrounded by sleepy ghouls trying to get ready for the day while you're bouncing off the walls."

The thought seemed to amuse Dewdrop, and his resistance waned as he envisioned the comical scenario. "Okay, okay, I guess I don't want to be the only ghoul wide awake when everyone else is snoring," he conceded with a grin.

Aether seized the moment, "That's right, firebug" Now, let's make bedtime a grand adventure. I'll even tell you a story about a mischievous fire ghoul who learned the importance of a good night's sleep."

With a playful twinkle in his eye, Aether led Dewdrop towards his bedroom. It glowed with the warmth of red and gold hues, evoking the essence of dancing flames. Adorned with tapestries and artwork depicting swirling fire motifs, the room's focal point was a bed with crackling ember-patterned sheets and flame-carved headboard. In a cozy corner, a lava lamp added a mesmerizing touch, its molten wax mimicking the fluid movement of lava, casting a dynamic play of light.

Dewdrop climbed into the bed, as Aether threw some blankets on his body, as he tucked in the ghoul.

"Cosy, my love?" Aether cooed softly, as he tuned on the lavalamp.

“Bed time story, please?” Dewdrop asked

"Absolutely, my little Dewcifer" Aether replied with a tender smile, the warm glow of the lava lamp casting a soft radiance across the room.

As Dewdrop nestled into the crackling ember-patterned sheets, Aether began to weave a bedtime story, his voice a soothing melody that harmonized with the gentle flicker of the fiery-themed bedroom. The tale unfolded like the dance of flames, carrying Dewdrop into a world where fire ghouls embarked on enchanting adventures beneath the starlit canopy. The lavalamp's liquid glow echoed the story's rhythm, creating a tranquil ambiance that embraced them both in the comforting warmth of the fire-themed haven.

He softly carressed Dew's cheek, as Dew softly purred while the quintessential ghoul recounted his story. As Aether continued his tale, the bond between them deepened, and the room became a haven where the warmth of the story and the glow of the lava lamp melded into a soothing lullaby, cradling Dewdrop in the arms of sweet dreams.

[griefabyss69]

Writing Patterns!

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Tagged by @jamiethegardener55!!! Thank you <3 <3 <3 (I'll go in order from oldest to newest and I'm putting anything in a series together! I'm also not including microfics because then most of these would be those <3)

Eddie's been telling himself for a whole week now that today is the day! [ so take a bite of me, just once - Steddie - E - 10K - LARP AU 04]

Eddie's nerves are shot, barely sparking like frayed wires and setting off little fires in his brain, system alarms yelling about an Imminent Meltdown. [ Intermission - Steddie - E - 7.7K - LARP AU 05]

The thing Eddie has going on with Steve is... not complicated when he puts it into words, mumbling to himself in the shower like he would after arguing with someone, trying to reason out where it grates at him – but it's messy, both one of the most deeply satisfying things he's ever had and one of the most frustrating. [ Run Me Through - Steddie - E - 9.5K ]

The darkness of his room at bedtime is pretty relaxing, especially during the deadest hours of morning when even the most obnoxious of the people in the area – mostly himself, at least on weeknights – have decided to finally turn off their music and shut the fuck up for the night. [ Constrained - Steddie - E - 10.1K - No Nut November Part 01 ]

Though he'd stayed away for the past couple of days, holed up by himself in his room with his guitar or a notebook – processing – his brain was still alive and well on Steve's bedroom floor. [ Restrained - Steddie - E - 22K - No Nut November Part 02 ]

You'd think that all of the near-death experiences and injuries and horrible secret knowledge they’d all had would make a group of people like, forthcoming about their feelings. [ Ample Fire Within - Steve & Robin - G - 1.7K ]

There are rays of golden sunshine washing Eddie's hair and skin in honey yellow, and all Steve can think about is getting him into his mouth somehow. [ All Things Will Pass - Steddie - E - 5.9K ]

If you asked anyone, Steve and Eddie are like total opposites, but Steve doesn’t really believe that these days – the more he thinks about him, the more he talks to him, the more he realizes he and Eddie are similar in so many ways. [ Transcending Dualities - Steddie - E - 10.4K ]

The bats had left echoes in his head, Eddie's fucking sure of it. There's something leftover inside of him from the other dimension, something evil from the tunnels and gates not too far from where he still lives. [ All You Gotta Do - Steddie - E - 1.8K ]

At first Eddie thinks, "I'm into him because I need a place to direct all of this." [ Champagne Buckshot - Steddie - E - 1.2K ]

I've learned that my first sentences are way too long a lot of the time LMAO but it's okay, I still like them

Tagging anyone who wants to do it!!! Feel free to @ me when you do <3

[smolkiwi98]

I'm so soft for Steve watching out for his girl, loved that story about him being a caregiver. Could you write something about him in a relationship like the onefrom your imagine with Eddie munson and non sexual domination? The one with rules and consequences and all but just to help the girlfriend work on things she wants to improve and because she thinks having structure like this is helpful and asks for a relationship like this, things like if she struggles sleeping at reasonable hours, she has a bed time for example. If you think it's repetitive because you wrote something like that for another character it's alright, feel free to just ignore it

Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed it! I apologize if this isn't as good, it's late and I'm kinda tired lol. But I hope you enjoy!

WARNING!! Mentions of spanking (one time if you squint), mentions of a dom/sub Dynamic, um not proofread, I think that's it.

masterlist

make a request here!

Saying you’re a night owl is an understatement. For some reason you loved the night and there’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes it just gets bad. It gets to the point where you’ll stay up a whole night, stay up all day, and not go to bed until later that night around two or three in the morning. When you started to date Steve he didn’t know about this. He just thought you liked staying up late to talk with him sometimes, but he didn’t know you would stay up all night and watch movies when he fell asleep. It surprised you how long it took him to notice this. He just thought you went to bed with him and woke up before him.

Steve started to notice this little routine when you moved in with him. That’s when he sat you down and discussed a solution, “Okay, I know we do some dom/sub things in the bedroom, but I think it would be a good idea to bring into our normal everyday life.” The words that just left his mouth shocked you. He wanted to bring that dynamic outside the bedroom? A blush made its way across your face and you fumbled with your fingers “So…so you mean like…” You started feeling shy. Steve looked at you confused at first and then quickly shook his head “No, Baby. What I mean is to bring some rules into our everyday lives. Maybe that way you’ll get your sleep and eat properly.” He explained. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, “I thought you meant something completely different.” You said with a small chuckle.

~ A Month Later ~

It’s been exactly one month since you’ve brought the rules into play and it’s honestly changed you a lot…in a good way of course. You were getting proper meals and had a somewhat good sleeping schedule. You and Steve agreed that if you broke any rules you’d be put in timeout since spankings well…that gives you a completely different feeling. Last night you had gone to bed around eleven thirty which is early for you and you also got up this morning around eight! It’s simple, but it made you proud of yourself and Steve was definitely proud of you. Every time you accomplished a task or followed any kind of rule he’d give you some praise which motivated you to get a lot of things done.

Tonight you planned on cleaning the kitchen and finishing the dishes, which shouldn’t be too hard. It’s about ten o’clock now, Steve had gone to bed early since he was exhausted. You had gotten in the shower before touching anything in the kitchen, which was kind of a mistake. Once you were showered and had the relaxed warm feeling you made your way to the couch to just sit for a little bit before cleaning. But that small sit turned into flipping through your book that you’ve been meaning to finish and sitting there for an hour or two. When you got the book you only read one chapter and just got busy with other things, but you felt like reading. By the time you decided to put the book down you noticed it was already one in the morning. You just looked at the clock and sighed, feeling a bit sad for not cleaning the kitchen and staying up past your bedtime. You stood up from your spot and stretched before making your way into the kitchen, if you were already up might as well finish what you were supposed to be doing.

The next morning you had finished the kitchen. Dishes were clean, counters were, floor was mopped, everything was clean. The only issue is waiting for Steve to wake up and come downstairs. It was only nine in the morning and you were still awake. You did feel a bit tired, but not enough to actually fall asleep. As you watched the morning cartoons you heard footsteps come from the hall, “Baby?” Steve called out. You cleared your throat before speaking “In the living room.” You answered. Steve walked around the corner, hair messy and his sleep pants hanging on his hips low, “What time did you get up?” He asked coming over to give your head a kiss before going to make some coffee. You stood up to follow him into the kitchen “I um…I didn’t go to sleep.” You said quietly. Steve stopped what he was doing and turned around “Oh?” He said before walking over to you “What time were you supposed to go to bed?” He questioned “Eleven?” You answered in a question. Your bedtimes were different during the week and weekends. Steve nodded his head “So why didn’t you go to bed?” You sighed softly and started to fiddle with your fingers. “I took my shower too late and got distracted.” You admitted. You learned that lying or not telling every detail made you sit in the corner longer than your normal timeout time.

After your confession Steve took your hand and made you follow him into the bedroom, “This is what’s going to happen.” He said while sitting you on the bed. You looked up at him from your spot on the bed. “You’re going to sleep and when you wake up you’ll have some lunch and then you go into timeout.” He explained. A frown made its way on your face “But why? I’ll be getting my sleep anyway.” You whined. Steve shook his head “You broke a rule.” He stated simply, “Now lay down and sleep.” He said as he pushed some of the covers down. Your pout never left your face, but you laid down anyway and let him cover you up and tuck you in. “I’ll wake you up in a bit.” He said before kissing your head and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. You didn’t realize how tired you were until you actually settled in and closed your eyes. You were asleep in seconds.

You don’t know how long you were asleep, but you woke up on your own and you could hear talking coming from the living room. You quietly got up and put your ear to the door. You were still tired, but you were curious. You could hear Steve and from what else you could hear Robin and Eddie were over. Your eyes widened slightly and made your way back to bed and cover back up. There is no way in hell you were going to sit in timeout while those two were here. You started to hear footsteps come closer to the room, so you closed your eyes and pretended you were asleep. The door slowly opened “Baby?” Steve said softly as he walked closer to you. You ignored him and continued your fake sleeping. Steve looked over you and pulled the covers over you some more. He leaned down and kissed your cheek “I know you’re awake.” He whispered in your ear. Your heart started to race, but you kept your eyes closed “I won’t make you come out since we have company. But once they leave you’re getting up.” He finished and got back up walking out to continue chatting with his friends.

When you heard the door close you sighed out and rubbed your face. Even when you’re “sleeping” he still discreetly reminds you of what you have to do, but in the end….it’s for your well being and you appreciated Steve so much.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

The great regular sleep experiment of 2024 day uh... "too much tea"

Well it turns out that while caffeine helps me sleep fine for my morning slot... Drinking a lot of fluids doesn't...

Other than being up to pee a whole lot, I slept well enough, ended up staying in bed till closer to 3 on account of the getting up to pee a bunch. Lesson learned. That could have gone way worse.

I *think* these sleep shifts are as good as it's going to get. One is even right after morning errands where I get in, put stuff away and want nothing more than to shower and fall into bed.

Also Pumpkin will let me sleep for 4 hours at a time, if it's at times he's used to me doing it and if it doesn't go on much longer than that... Because babies [cats] need to be fed every 4 hours :/ [this one does]

Right now I'm still a bit hyper-thyroid though, and it just got warm out, and I think my immune system is 'activating' against something again, so I have been trying to push myself to do chores if I am going to be awake and feel physically horrible anyway.

I did that thing where after scrubbing the floor yesterday and letting it dry, I swept it again today in greater detail and washed it again. Ooooh aaaah clean floors. Cleaned the toilet, washed dishes, did some sink laundry.

AND I FOUND MY 'O' KEY!!! I have a full keyboard again!

The main thing is I am trying to keep all the cleaning and organizing 1. Quiet and 2. done at a pace I could maintain on most days, because if I get a bee in my bonnet about it and wear myself down, i might get a huge chunk done... I might even get the 'rest' as done as it can be, but then I will crash and have to recover, which might mean falling behind on everything again and breaking any fragile habits, and I don't want to do that...

The only issue I see with this sleep schedule is it tends to take me 4 ish hours to wake up after sleeping and a bit to wind down... So the 5 hours between my sleeps works fine on days where I can spend that 5 hours doing nothing much, but on days where I need to do stuff --that isn't groceries before morning bedtime and crashing-- it means 8 hours spent sleeping, plus the five in between that I can't use, plus another 3 minimum to get running, plus whatever hours I sleep past 2pm because i need extra sleep, and then having those remaining hours be in the middle of the night.

The only other way to approach it is by waking up and immediately throwing myself into doing things before I am awake enough to process anything, like how much it hurts... And that can be okay for basic cleaning, but I am so out-of-it when I first wake up that doing anything with anything heavy or sharp or powered becomes actively dangerous. ... Which is why it usually takes me 4 ish hours to get running because otherwise I am not alert... and that leaves... maybe 7 hours. Mostly being at night will add to my ability to being alert, and those hours would be great for working on art or writing and quiet creative projects, but it's not workable for any kind of tool use, or any heavy cleaning or organizing. [If I had my own house it would be fine]

And the problem is that if I am left with no times of day that are convenient to do a thing... I end up unconsciously avoiding it without realizing what's getting in my way. I KNOW I do that, so I am trying to set myself up for success instead of failure.

My remaining hope is that as I get used to this schedule, if I can keep it without the *symptoms*... I'll start to get alert or sleepy faster when it's appropriate and struggle less to do things during the 5 hours between sleeps.

On the bright side at least I am *mostly* only fighting my own body for this, but not having roommates to also have to work around... Just apartment neighbours.

If I can just get really used to a half-awake 5 hours of misery on any morning I have to get shit done, it'll be mostly fine, probably??

[rileythefool]

Writing a story with a vampire that is actually a creature of the night has emphasized to me how in capitalist society, the night only really exists to serve the day, and that's something I feel like ranting about.

I know first hand that many services operate 24/7 but once society achieves any sort of scale it becomes a battle to keep from losing the sorts of social safety nets that a smaller group of people would have in place.

For instance, a family that has some people up all night can separate duties out and schedule social activities in the overlap, but capitalism doesn't see enough dollar signs from that.

At 3am the bars are closed and everyone who stayed up to serve the daytime crowd is also going to bed (aside from emergency services, night watches for crime, and logististics/shipping services)

Even the public parks "close" for crying out loud. And sure, there's several arguments to be had about avoiding crime and accountability and shit but an inability to function during daylight hours is a negligible disability in the eyes of capitalism.

There's *work* for overnight, capitalism will always create that, but there isn't life.

I'm sure I'm supposed to be "realistic" about how much crime is a problem at night but all I see is that society drags out the worst in people by refusing to satisfy the needs of the marginalized.

There are enough real people out there with different rhythms. Issues with sunlight, noise, or even temporary things like time-sensitive projects keep people awake past society's bedtime and it absolutely sucks.

Someone more imaginative than me might be able to come up with a workaround to make it so there is life to be lived outside the internet at night, but all I see is a need for shorter workdays and a utilization of automation for comfort rather than profit.

We don't need a surveillance state to keep a library open all night, we just need to remove every possible reason for such a resource to be abused.

[deadbydangit]

Hi, I love your posts. Could you please write some headcannons about bedtime routines and habits with some of the survivors. Like are they cuddlers, do they grind their teeth, run hot or cold? Things like that. Please feel free to ignore this if its to weird or awkward.

I like that. That's really a cute idea. I'm going to pick three survivors.

Bedtime with them

Ace, Chris, Meg

Ace Visconti

He's a night owl.

So expect to stay up late.

If you can't, he'll usually join you later.

But, there are days when he's just really tired.

And those days he'll fall asleep with you.

Surprisingly, he always brushes his teeth before bed.

Unsurprisingly, he takes a shot of liquor right after.

So that kind of defeats the purpose of brushing his teeth.

He says it puts him at ease.

Trials stress him out more than he'd like to admit.

So something to take the edge off and help him relax doesn't hurt.

Ace doesn't really run hot, but he doesn't necessarily run cold either.

He's that perfect in between.

Unless he's had a few drinks.

If he has, he runs hot like a fire.

He's very cuddly.

His preferred sleeping position is holding you in his' arms with one leg in between yours.

He's actually a very calm sleeper when he's relaxed.

If he isn't, he's tossing and turning.

He is not a morning person.

"Ugh, five more minutes."

He said, twenty minutes ago.

And you aren't getting up without him.

"No. Stay here."

And he'll hug you tighter.

Hope you don't have to go anywhere anytime soon.

Chris Redfield

This man isn't one for staying up late.

An hour before bed, Chris goes on a jog.

Not a light jog either.

He's going to run that whole hour without stopping.

So when he gets back, he's ready to crash.

Literally.

He falls right into bed.

Sweaty, with all his normal clothes on.

If he really smells bad, make him go clean off and change.

But he'll almost fall asleep while bathing, so you'll have to watch him.

And get his clothes out for him because he'll put on something completely different from pajamas because he is that tired.

After all that, he's practically asleep as he's walking.

Now that he's fallen into bed, get ready for a man who runs so hot, that blankets will be a thing of the past.

It's almost sweltering.

But nothing can compare to how bad he snores.

It's like someone put a megaphone to a pug sleeping.

It's loud.

After a while, the snores will die down.

Chris is actually a still sleeper once he's gotten his energy out.

But you're a teddy bear right now.

He is an early riser.

"Good morning beautiful. Time to get up and start training."

You're getting up whether you like it or not.

Meg Thomas

Like Chris, Meg also goes on a run before bed.

But it's more of a quick speed walk than anything.

She doesn't want to get all gross and sweaty and have to shower again.

She's neither a night owl, nor is she an early bird.

She sleeps when she's tired.

She prefers to wear shorts and tank top when she sleeps.

Even if it's cold out.

She doesn't run hot, but she says she feels hot.

It's usually around the time you fall asleep.

She likes to go to bed around the same time you do.

It's a weird sense of security she can't seem to understand herself.

But it helps her sleep better.

Before bed, she does a few quick stretches to relax her body after a long day.

It takes her a good few minutes to fall asleep.

But once she's asleep, it's hard to wake her up.

And she is a kicker.

Like, it doesn't matter what you do, she's going to be moving around.

She isn't sure why she's like that, but ever since she was a little kid, she was a restless sleeper.

She knows this and apologizes every night.

But don't be too hard on her about it.

If you give her a tight enough hug and pull her in so that her face is on your neck, then she's less squirmy.

She usually wakes up before you.

But she'll stay right there until you wake up.