#also about loneliness it's a really big theme in this

[hayaku14]

hc that shinichi makes it a point to do anything that involves fish only when kaito is away. he eats fish whenever he has lunch out during work. he watches documentaries about the ocean whenever kaito isn't at home.

this eventually backfires when he starts associating fish with kaito's absence and the loneliness that comes with that.

after this realization, he makes it a point to do anything that involves fish only when he's with people other than kaito. it still makes him think of kaito, but it also reminds him of his co-workers, his friends, his family.

when hattori notices this, they suddenly start frequenting restaurants with seafood as their specialty whenever he takes shinichi out for restaurant-hopping. (he saves up everything else when he goes out to eat with shinichi and kaito).

when he invited the detective boys out to the aquarium, they figure him out. from then on they started dragging him around to a lot of fish-themed events (there's surprisingly a lot of those. the detective boys put a lot of effort into looking for these little fishy events or fishy venues to visit).

he goes fishing with agasa and the detective boys. he only swims in the ocean when they're in a big group.

it's not really a big adjustment to shinichi. not if it's for kaito.

and kaito notices it all, and falls a bit more in love.

[yellow-faerie]

How specifically does Lu Ten survive in the au?

The short answer: his betrothed.

The long answer: in this au, Lu Ten is betrothed at quite a young age to Makei, a noble woman's only daughter. They're both nonbenders, who both train separately to be equally deadly (Lu Ten under Piandao, and Makei under a retired Yuyan archer by the name of Izuki) and are probably each others only real friend at court, just due to the cutthroat nature of the court.

They both go to the siege of Ba Sing Se, probably a year into it, Lu Ten is an officer and Makei is a healer. They are very quickly disenfranchised with the whole idea of The War.

This is mostly because they were both very lonely children, Lu Ten moreso. When Lu was little, his mother was dead, his father was off at war more often than not and there were very few people who were consistently around him (Ursa would be around a bit but since Ozai does not want to be around him, even that's limited), but he made his loneliness better by basically saying that Winning The War will make it all better.

Newsflash: the war sucks and when fighting it begins to feel entirely pointless, and Lu Ten is very quickly like...oh. My childhood just sucked for No Reason.

(Listen, Iroh loved his son but I am of the firm belief that their relationship was not an easy one)

And then, Iroh dies on the front lines. Maybe Lu Ten should have been the one to die then - he certainly came close - but Makei is a skilled healer who makes sure he pulls through. But Lu Ten is neither the leader his father was nor someone who wants to be, and the siege is called off.

Still, he's angry and bitter and has a burning hatred for the war for taking his father from him in so many ways (and, later, when he's spent time among the earth kingdom, he'll be angry for them too), and when he returns to the palace, he does not exactly go along with everything Ozai has to say...

By which I mean he does multiple kidnappings but that's another post.

[abelas]

not me writing an IF game and writing the spicy scenes first sdidmflkm

[thalfbloodloser]

i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)

a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...

anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.

let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.

give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")

but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.

...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)

(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)

[astrobydalia]

Saturn🪐

by astrobydalia

There’s a lot of emphasis on the ‘delay’ aspect of Saturn. It is true that the house where you have this planet are themes that might be delayed in your life until your Saturn return (your 30s) or until you’re mature enough (age and maturity don’t always go hand in hand). Up until then, you could struggle to find stability in these house’ themes to the point where you might think you’re not cut out to have them like everyone else since nothing here seems to come easily or naturally.

Example:

Saturn in 4th - could face early abandonment from family (emotional and/or physical). May spend a big chunk of their lives feeling like they have no support or quite literally no family. Constantly feeling rejected by the people and places they try to call home and lack a sense of belonging. Eventually they learn what it really means to become a support system for themselves and the people they love, this might have come at the expense of their own comfort, but learned to build this stability within themselves once they mature

However, that is the most forgiving manifestation of Saturn in my opinion because it can actually do the exact opposite. Saturn placement can also show themes that are imposed on you very early on and you have to stick with for a veeeeery long time until you’re ready to mature out of it or until you know better. In other words, a karmic lesson. This is because Saturn also represents burdens

Same example:

Saturn 4th - could actually have a strong bond with their family and have a stable place to call home, but they could be inseparable from family/roots in a way that is detrimental for the native. Could feel the pressure to stick up for family and what they want at the expense of their own needs which results in another form of emotional abandonment. Family is limiting, could feel like you can’t escape from them or their influence. Ultimately the lesson is the same cause it’s the same placement, but instead of learning it through trial and error like the last case, they learn it from being hands on in a less than ideal situation

There’s also a combination of both: having to deal with a certain burden because you it’s like you lack the possibility of anything better in the long run. Following the example: could be the case that your whole family is gone and you only have one relative to relay on but they’re abusive

Saturn isn’t here to make sure your life is crap, it can actually bring blessing if you’re patient and resilient. After all it rules karma, so it eventually delivers what’s fair. That’s why Saturn’s exalted in Libra and also because the concepts of boundaries, respecting the common rules and detaching for the sake of compromise are things both Saturn and Libra understand perfectly. “time ends up placing everything where it should be”

It’s true that Saturn is tricky because it’s all about prioritizing growth over comfort. It’s about the sacrifices that make you tougher, stronger, bigger. So at its worst it actually be very bad. The shadow of Saturn is all about doing whatever it takes for growth and benefit. In the case of Capricorn that relates to climbing the social and economic ladder. For Aquarius, that’s detaching from your humanity in order to be more ‘evolved’. It has a lot to do with detaching from your heart and soul in benefit of the 3D world, that’s why Saturn is debilitated Aries, Cancer and Leo, because these signs are all about checking in with yourself and staying true to yourself and your heart so don’t like accepting Saturn’s limitations in terms of these things. I’d argue that it can even be worse than the other ‘malefic’ planet because it’s associated to all of the things that can be devastating for any human in a permanent basis: loneliness, depression, coldness, abuse of power (saturn=limits, control, authority)

On the flip side, Saturn at its best represents everything a healthy person needs: stability, structure, boundaries, the barriers that keep you protected and responsibility. The growth over comfort motto is actually positive when channeled healthily. As we all know, in order to mature and be a better person, we have to take responsibility and compromise some of our comfort zone, we need to learn to ‘tame’ and take control of ourselves and that’s not always a walk in the park but it’s worth it at the end. This is what helps you build a solid ‘you’ and that’s what Saturn can teach you. Saturn also represents the matrix, the rules and limits of this big game so at its best, it can be the most helpful planet when it comes to teaching you how to navigate this world and to grow from your lessons. It other words it can help you manifest!!!! Saturn gives you clues on what you can do to materialize what you want, how you can translate things into reality

Saturn is actually very rewarding and liberating in the long run if you embrace the process of growth and take responsibility for yourself in the themes it is influencing in your chart. It gets to point in your life were Saturn’s like “yeah it is what it is. It sucks. Too bad. But the ball’s in your court now, what are you gonna do?”

Anyways this was a little spontaneous ramble of my thoughts. As always, don’t hesitate to share yours :)

by astrobydalia

[kakiastro]

People with Pisces 4h, Pisces Moon, Moon 12h , Neptune 4h, and Moon-Neptune aspect

We talk a lot about Plutions 4h hardships but let’s talk about Neptunian people for a minute because chile yall go through it as well.

From my research of people, I noticed these type of energies has played out for y’all. Growing up with Neptunian influence is a lot like having ocean energy. It may be beautiful, mystical and ethereal but the ocean is deep and holds lots of secrets, it has a lot of life but don’t forget it’s known for its tragic deaths as well.

-growing up near water such as the ocean, lake, river. You may have been the love fishing, kayaking, swimming type of family. Growing up in a town or city that’s known for seafood, sea life or just water activities.

-lack of boundaries from family members, especially mom. I had a client who had a mom who use to read her diary and share it with other family members. she had moon sq Neptune 😫 your mom may not have any boundaries or taught you any. You may struggle with it as an adult

-grew up in a spiritual family, i noticed a lot of people grew up in a hippie style of home😂 or the grew up in a glamour style. Mom wearing hippie clothes or wearing the best fur coat, there’s no in between 😂

-alcoholism/other substance abuse may have happened in the home, mom or a family member drinks a lot. This can also play out as growing up with the finest alcohols brands, an open bar in your home. Substance abuse may run in your family or you have a family member who suffers from it. People you consider family may have this problem as well

-you may come from a creative family. I have a friend who’s a Pisces moon and his mom was a choir teacher and he plays the guitar. Music was a big part of your family home growing up, so much so, you can’t go a day with out it as an adult.

-pictures! You grew up in a home that took lots of photographs, your mom may have lots of photo books with pictures lol

-you may not be close to your family growing up, you guys are a lot like aqua moons when it comes to family. You may feel somewhat isolated or different from them. Good news is that I noticed the further you move away from them, the closer you will be to them. I know that sounds weird but this is what I noticed, by them being far away, no boundaries being broken.

-loneliness and projection, I noticed you all are really popular, like people may love you but at the same time, they don’t really know you. The project what they want you to be in there head, then project some type of disappointment when their bubble is popped! I know how it be for y’all. It’s bull 💩. This comes from lack of boundaries that I was telling you all about earlier. Really get to know yourself, use that alone time for your advantage.

-movies, grew up having movie nights, mom might have a collection of movies on DVDs. Going to the movies with your mom/family may have been a common thing.

-Hidden enemies! some of y’all biggest haters can be your own family members. You thought they were just a cute orca whale like Free Willy but the truth is orcas will F&&$k you up! I’m not saying to not trust your family but please notice the red flags and move accordingly with people. Not all kin is good people.

Do you have these placements and what was a theme you noticed in your life growing up?

[httpknjoon]

(re)starting over again | kth; 11

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 2.8k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | AAAAND WE'RE BACK! it's been a month since the last update! consider this as a new season for mc and tae :)) u might find this chapter a little fast-paced or not idk.. let me know ur thoughts! enjoy reading <;3 ps. sorry for the errors!

main masterlist | series masterlist

A couple of years passed, two to be exact, and a lot of things happened. The bakery became more crowded. It was renovated and had a larger space instead of moving the entire bakery to another place. They began hiring extra help, usually part-time working students who used to be customers in the shop too. 

Also, turns out that Jimin has a kid. Taehyung met Jihoon just a week after his best friend learned about his existence. Jihoon is a carbon copy of his dad, Taehyung thought. His eyes disappear when he smiles. Now, they have a little baker running around the kitchen usually on weekends.

Aside from those changes, Taehyung now lives in a studio apartment just a five-minute walk away from the bakery. He moved in just weeks after you left. The said apartment is not that big, just enough for him to rest in after work. Jimin commented that he treats that place like a hotel since Taehyung didn’t really personalize it to make the ambiance like a home. The whole place was plain, not even considered minimalist. Just plain. The walls were untouched. It was off-white when Taehyung came and it remains the same now. He didn’t really bother to invest anything in the place.

The house you two bought and lived in is still being taken care of. By him. Taehyung cleans up there once a week, just in case you reach out to visit home again and maybe talk about what to do with it. And when he feels like it, which is almost rare, he sleeps on the couch in the living room. He never really entered the guest room, which became your bedroom after the accident, except the time he got home after Jisoo and Namjoon’s wedding. That room was spotless, just like how you left it. The only things you left that night were on your vanity table; your house keys, the vintage pearl ring he bought you back in the flea market, and a folded paper.

The letter says, “Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.”

He never painted the walls with another color as he found the shade of blue that spreads around the house perfect. He never bought any furniture and still kept the same ones you had. He thought it fit the theme of the house and his preference. And yes, the picture frames show the same photos they originally had. It felt home that way for him. But he chose to move to the apartment because he always felt like he was missing something. The house is cozy and comfortable. But whenever he tries to lie on supposedly his bed, it feels empty. Once, he tried playing jazz music around the house, but it just got lonelier so he turned it off and just continued cleaning.

But he did try to keep up and look back at the things he forgot through his friends and the things he found at the house. Jimin, Namjoon, and sometimes Jisoo were patient with his questions. Jisoo, your best friend, was understandably distant from him at first after you went away. But she adds details to the stories Namjoon tells and later, became amiable with him. Jimin’s mom still looks after him and brings him food when she visits the city. There were a few times she mentioned Taehyung’s mother but he didn’t really care about her. So he ignores it.

“You know, you’re a handsome man. Don’t you have any lady?”

One of their common customer, a man in his seventies once asked him. It was not the first time someone asked him such a thing. He always shakes his head with a smile as an answer. It would lead later with an offer to meet someone they know. Taehyung would shyly and kindly decline these offers, saying he really doesn’t feel like dating for now. It’s true. The idea of him dating someone else felt wrong. It was like his own body rejected the idea as he felt uneasy with that thought.

“So, it’s that time of the year.”

Taehyung was pulling his third pan of cheesecake out of the hot oven with his oven gloves when he heard Ava, their longtime part-time staff, say that. She sounded amused but not surprised. He looked up and saw her leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed. She had a smug smile on her face. 

“I swear, you should just declare this particular day as Cheesecake and Banana Bread Day just to make it official,” she added, teasing.

Taehyung looked at her, unimpressed, “It’s selling. In fact, my cheesecakes are one of our best sellers here… What are you doing here anyway? Go back to the front.”

He scolds her, she just rolled her eyes, unbothered.  Ava was one of the students who knew Taehyung even before his accident. She went from being a loyal customer to a reliable staff of the shop. She has been enjoying the pastries in the shop ever since she was twelve and now, sixteen, she also enjoys getting into small banters with her older bosses. She is usually candid, and not shy to share her thoughts. Taehyung sees her as a little sister most time.

Given that she began working here after you left, Ava doesn’t really have an idea why Taehyung bakes a few batches of cheesecake and banana loaves on this specific date. She doesn’t know you and that you are celebrating your birthday today. Taehyung learned about that fact after his phone notified him weeks after you went. Since then, he has baked your favorites on your special day. 

It’s the third time now. It’s probably a slim chance but he hoped to see you around the bakeshop, enjoying pastries. But so far, he hasn’t seen you around. In fact, he hadn’t even heard from you ever since that night. He thought he saw you a year ago in the subway when he came to Incheon to go sightseeing, but he lost you before he could take a second glance. He didn’t know where you moved since he respects your space but he wondered if you really moved that far. He wonders about you every now and then. 

Jisoo posted a short clip in her Instagram Stories months ago. It’s just a clip of a long trail and he swore he heard you in the background noise of that clip, telling your best friend how tired you are from hiking. Then, the clip ended.

“Not because it’s best selling you would make a ton of it. It’s something about demand and supply– I don’t know,” she conceded, breaking Taehyung’s train of thought. “Anyway, I’m here because someone called on the phone, asking for you.”

Taehyung’s heart stopped for a second. His hopes almost blasted out of his soul but he tried to stay calm before asking Ava, “Who is it?”

“I don’t know. But it’s a woman. They said they want to specifically talk to you.” she replied, unaware that the man in front of him was holding his breath. She continued, “They are actually waiting on call right now.”

Taehyung almost sprinted to the front desk of the shop. Still in his mint green oven gloves, he reached for the telephone. His heart is beating fast while his gut is twisting tight. He paused when he realized he had nothing to say. He doesn’t know what to say if it’s you. Are you going to talk about the house? Should he greet you with Happy Birthday first and offer you your favorite cheesecake? Maybe you won’t like– Stop.

Taehyung took a deep breath before exhaling. He spoke, “Hello, this is Kim Taehyung, co-owner of The Sweet Spot. How can I help you?”

“Oh, hi.” 

His heart dropped. Okay, relax. He told himself. It’s not you.

There were nights when Taehyung would find himself awake. And tonight is one of those nights. He just lay on his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. He always had trouble falling asleep, maybe a side effect of his accident. He doesn’t know anymore. But he knows that it makes his head go crazy with random thoughts when times like this happen. And now, he thought of something.

That’s when he picked up his phone and keys, along with his coat. He drove away from his apartment. 

The bell above the door rang when he entered the convenience store to pick up a few beers and chips. His cold hands stayed in his coat’s pockets as he looked around the store, waiting for the clerk to scan his stuff. Just when the worker was about to say the prince, the bell clung again.

“No, wait. I’m just really hungry. Wait for me… Yes, I have money here.”

Everything went quiet and suddenly all that he could hear was that voice. Your voice. He’s sure of that. He looked back and saw a woman’s back going into one of the aisles. His heart raced once again. You’re here?

“Dude, you okay?” the tired clerk asked, looking at him with heavy bags under his eyes.

Taehyung looked at him, and broke out of his headspace, “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry.”

He pulled out his cash and paid. He can still hear your voice like you were talking with someone on your phone.

“Do you want anything– Oh, the honey-butter chips I want ran out of stock.”

Taehyung looked at the chips in his hand. He looked at the clerk who also looked at him like they understood each other without saying anything. Taehyung placed the chip back on the counter.

“Just give this to the girl,” he whispered before turning his back.

He didn’t look back. A cool blow of wind brushed on his face when he walked out the door. For a second, he inhaled and exhaled again to calm his nerves. He got in his car, putting the pack of beer on the other seat. As he started the car, his eyes landed on the side mirror. 

Yes, it’s you. Definitely.

You just walked out of the same store, still on your phone, as you walked away grinning with your honey butter chips. You walked on the other end of the pathwalk. Taehyung pursed his lips and drove away.

His lips remained sealed but his head was exploding with questions. That was the closest he had seen you since the night you said goodbye. How are you? Why are you in the city? Did you live around here? It can’t be. Jisoo told him you left the hospital you used to work at. 

Instead of driving back to his apartment, Taehyung ended up parking in front of your deserted house. He had his beer with him as he turned the key on the doorknob. He stepped into the said home feeling colder even though he still hadn’t removed his coat.  He placed the drink on the center table in the living room and plugged in the TV for background noise. He put on a random show, which happens to be FRIENDS. 

Opening a can, he sat on the couch, pulling a couple of books he left under the same table. Photo albums and scrapbooks. You never told him such things exist in here, he just found them after cleaning around the house. It was personalized by you and him. He could tell by the design and handwritten captions. 

Almost everything was documented through photos and other knick knacks like receipts from a movie you two saw together. Browsing through the pages of it, it felt like looking at other people’s relationships even though he was in the photos himself. In one of the photos, he saw himself with a camera. He didn’t even know he had one. He tried searching around the house for it but he never found it. 

You had more solo portraits in the said books than him. He figured out why. Maybe he really loved capturing you as his subject. You looked the same in every picture: happy and in love. Most of your pictures were candid, taken without you knowing. Then, a handwritten date by him will be seen below it. Each photo was adorable. Some are just random ones. You were brushing your teeth or showing off your colorful scrubs (which was written in the caption: BOUGHT HER YELLOW DUCKIES SCRUBS I THINK SHE LIKES IT).

Taehyung spend his sleepless nights like this, looking back at what he missed. He read through articles before that the possibility of getting his memories back is a hit or miss. So he learned to just go on and maybe accept how things became. He tries to move forward at the same time he tries to look back. It’s quite confusing sometimes.

IT’S HER… I’M SURE 

That was the caption in one photo of you dating just weeks after you two moved into this house. In the picture, your back was turned as you sat in front of your vanity table. You can be seen fixing your hair while looking at your reflection. Taehyung’s eyebrow raised with the caption. He wondered what it meant. He turned the page to the next one but was greeted with nothing but a blank page. Turns out, that was the most recent one.

“The main branch of their restaurant is somewhere in Incheon. I’ll send you the address after the call.” 

Taehyung listened to Jimin through a loudspeaker call. His hair is still damp from a shower. Standing in front of the mirror, he compares two coats that would suit the rest of his outfit. He felt the need to look presentable tonight.

“You will meet the owner herself, Ashley. She said you can just introduce yourself to the host and he’ll lead you to your table… Ava kept the samples in the shop. She said she put them in different Tupperware so you can spot it right away.” Jimin instructed.

“Okay, okay.”

He heard his best friend sigh on the other line, “I’m sorry for the short notice, Tae. I totally forgot Jihoon will be staying with me tonight.”

Tonight, Taehyung will be meeting a special client. It’s the one who called a couple of weeks ago, during your birthday. it‘s a big restaurant that is planning to put the bakeshop’s products on their menu for dessert. Specifically, the cakes. The head chef was the one who brought up their product to the owner, whom he will meet now. Jimin initially agreed to meet the said client but his co-parenting schedule had some shifts. Just an hour ago, Taehyung learned he’d be the one meeting the client. It’s not like he had plans anyway. So, he immediately prepared himself.

After picking the clothes, Taehyung blow-dried and brushed his hair. His best friend sent the main address minutes later and so he left his apartment. He first drove by the shop, which closed a little earlier today. A lot of cakes were made for sample. It includes Jimin’s Carrot Cake, his own cheesecake, and six other more. Taehyung left with a brown bag of the samples.

His fingers tapped with the beat of the song playing on the radio as he drove his way to the restaurant. It was a peaceful night on the road. 

This will be the first time Taehyung will be going back to Incheon since that time he went sightseeing. He stayed there for just three days before, it was days after his phone notified him about your supposedly fifth anniversary. His emotions were all over the place because of the aftermath and the demanding work in the bakeshop around that time. So he asked Jimin for a very short break. He still hasn’t got a car then so he took the subway throughout the whole time. It was during his last day there when he saw a glimpse of you in the crowded subways of that city. He remembered you were in your scrubs, your hair was cleanly kept in a low bun, and you were walking opposite of his direction. Then, he blinked. You were gone in the crowded place.

“Good evening, sir.”

Almost forty minutes later, Taehyung arrived at the restaurant, Starry Night. He was greeted by the host as he entered the elegant place. It has a great ambiance, romantic. It is a fine-dining restaurant and seems like a perfect spot for dinner dates. 

He said his name when he was asked.  And while the man looked down at his guest list, Taehyung’s eyes traveled around the place. And not even a minute in, his eyes stopped at someone who he felt had been staring at him.

His eyes widened at the sight. A stunning woman, clad in a black dress, stares back at him with surprise. His mouth ran dry, he had to gulp. Now, he’s sure. He’s sure.

It’s you.

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @zzztaegizz @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise​ @kiwuki @tannies-luv @fuckthinking @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @ficluvr613 @misshale21

[gotham-daydreams]

i’ve been rereading your not [] series and WOWOWOWOWOW i love it sm. the writing? mwah chefs kiss 🤌🏽 the soul crushing loneliness is felt throughout the whole series and as the reader i can really feel every single emotion y/n goes through while reading it’s amazing. i’m excited for part three to see how it all goes down most importantly y/n’s reaction. i can only imagine the intense anger they’ll probably have after getting taken back to the manor. they’ll be angry cuz of the kidnapping thing but also it took them going missing for their family to acknowledge them. that’s a whole different type of anger and frustration. trying practically all your life to get your family’s attention, to them notice your there, all for it to be vain but the moment you’re gone and don’t exist, just like they’ve been treating your whole life, suddenly they notice. they felt guilty after realizing the damage they’ve done to you and just NOW they want to fix even though you’ll probably be carrying the trauma of the neglect for life so what’s the point of trying to fix it now? especially at this big age? the anger y/n must feel at this is insane. there’s also the fact that if y/n *does* want to give in to the sudden affection there’s that fear they’ll just leave again. they get kidnapped, imprison in what was their once home with high security, are being bomb with a bunch of love from their family they’ve never received before and then suddenly it’s gone, all their left with is just their freedom being taken away. y/n most likely feels intense anger, maybe even hatred, at their current actions but also fear of their future ones. it’s the perfect soup of angst and mannnn i’m eating it up.

sorry for the ramble i just wanted to let out my thoughts on your series but to sum it up i LOOVE your series and i’m patiently waiting for your next chapter to continue to see what of y/n’s fate becomes 🫶🏽

I'm so glad you're enjoying the series!!! And oh my god I love your interpretation as well!!!

As I've kind of stated/hinted at through various posts (I promise a masterlist will be made soon because there is a lot of things now that are piling up-), I don't really tend for Y/n in the "Not [ ]" series to get kidnapped just yet (not in part 3 anyways), but I think we all know that it's bound to happen considering things. And it will!

Honestly, I think a lot of people are kind of overestimating how 'loud' Y/n's anger, frustration, hurt, and pain will be in part 3, and it does make me a little worried about the reception of it. However, depending on one's interpretation, what the reader does instead can make the angst that much heavier. Because, well. They don't get that 'relief' that can sometimes come with shouting out your problems to the world- especially to the person that caused you such pain for such a long time, as it is also kind of acts like an unmistakable "hey!!! i'm fucked up and it's all your fault!!! i'll never forgive you for this and want nothing to do with you!!!" message. Though it is a mix within itself.

However, you are right, honestly!

Y/n in the start of the "Not [ ]" series is upset enough. Not only towards the family, but all the time they feel like they've wasted to try and just have a chance to just... get something they never had. All they wanted was a relationship, some kind of connection with anyone in the family besides Alfred, anything. Which is also mentioned in "Not Tonight" as there is that repeating theme/mention of Y/n doing too much but receiving so little, if not, nothing at all, for their efforts.

So just knowing that — as you've said — it basically took them essentially 'giving up' and being gone for months, for the Batfam to notice them? To try and even attempt to give not even half of what the reader had tried to before? Yet was rejected at every twist and turn? Up until this point?

Yeah, no. Y/n is plenty pissed, and incredibly hurt. Among other things as it's just... too little too late. Way too late.

Yet why I also say that I feel as if others overestimate how Y/n is going to express their anger, and how loud about it they're going to be, is because... well- this is a small kind of character spoiler, I guess, but they feel so detached from the family that the very thought of the Batfam even looking for them, is unfathomable. They don't realize at first how the Batfam is looking for them (despite the obvious signs), because it's never happened before, not even on accident.

They never got saved when they got into fights. They never got help when shit got tough. They were never heard, seen or even acknowledged in the house besides Alfred unless they initiated the 'conversation'. Why would they think that anyone who's acted to them like that, and wouldn't even let them exist in their space for a few minutes, go out searching for them? To put in even the smallest effort towards finding them — and because they were worried for Y/n's health no less — and not because they were the absolute last resort? They wouldn't. They don't.

It's a part of why part 3 goes the way it does, but again-its a part. The other pieces make it bad as well. Though that's all the spoilers I'm willing to give on that, which will go more indepth in part 3 itself (hopefully).

Basically, Y/n is a mess. Everyone is in a way, and that's what makes everything go to hell.

Y/n is angry, yes, but it starts quiet before it gets loud. Along with everything else.

So if and when Y/n does get kidnapped... hm.

I did say in a previous ask that depending on how it goes that Y/n would fight back if they're able to and such depending on how the kidnapping itself goes. And though I won't say much on Y/n's reaction in case it does go into future parts if more than 4 are made, I will say that you're right to assume that Y/n is incredibly pissed. You're also right on the whole idea with them being worried about the family basically neglecting them all over again, when everything is said and done. And that's great!

It's a mix. A whole push-and-pull deal where, yeah, even if more shit hits the fan- their own trauma will, in a way, protect them as well as make their life more miserable than it already is. Y/n'll probably never be able to naturally get close with the Batfam, not without 'help' anyway.

But these are yanderes. Their definition of 'help' is a little... twisted.

Though, yeah! And don't worry about rambling- I clearly do the same seeing as I think this whole post is almost just as long as what you wrote. So it's fine! If anything I really did enjoy reading it! Seeing all these different interpretations, and thoughts about the series and other things is incredibly interesting and I love it a lot! Especially with Part 3 on the rise.

[thosemintcookies]

I'm still mulling over "fruity yet forbidden kisses" because like this is a world of people who like. Have gay sex? Like it's made explicitly clear that some of these people have gay sex and its not really forbidden even if machismo and heteronormativity do exist. Like the game itself is alluring to gay people because it accepts our existence as like. Normal.

The allure to gay romance isn't always the voyeuristic angsty corny romance about forbidden love and self discovery or whatever. They're adults. Other than Harry, who has amnesia, queer adults in this narrative know they're queer and aren't bothered by it. I think it really does highlight how out of touch these guys are with the fandom because people aren't looking at DE like that.

Like it's just really refreshing that the game took people seriously. There's fat people, disabled people, gender non-conforming people, old people, people who are wrinkly and saggy and balding who are all depicted as worthy of sexual consideration and even domestic romance. So the game just gives you like a genuinely diverse cast of people and gives them sexual agency, while also being realistic about how difficult intimacy is. Of course people will want to explore intimacy, sex, and romance. These are explicit themes of the game. Loneliness in particular is one of the Big Central Themes.

So it's really fucking insulting to turn this world in which queerness is inserted with so much care and acceptance into something marketable by playing into popular and sanitized versions of queer experience. Idk. Feels fucked

[youremyheaven]

Vedic Astrology Observations

in my previous post, i had mentioned how Uttarashada natives love grandness and glamour. the more i look into it, the more i see these natives indulge in that old world, royaltycore aesthetic. its always go big or go home for them

Sanjay Leela Bhansali, who is known for his splashy period dramas with elaborate costumes and grand set designs has Ketu in Uttarashada

Fan Bingbing who is known for her glamorous and eclectic style has Ketu in Uttarashada (she also has her moon in Revati, another nakshatra that really loves glamour)

Kim Taehyung, who is also known for his preference for vintage glamour has Mercury & Mars in Uttarashada (he also has his moon and ketu in Revati)

Dilraba Dilmurat is another celebrity who is known for her extravagant style (chinese actresses in general have a very regal, extravagant style) and she has Revati Mars as her atmakaraka (her moon is in Punarvasu, a nak known for its girly style)

2. someone previously made a post about how mrigashira natives often play the "bimbo" in movies and ive observed that this also corresponds to real life, where a lot of mrig natives are perceived to be ditzy airheads or for saying crazy insane stuff. i believe its the mars influence that makes these natives speak hastily without much thought.

(Mrigashira moon Rachel McAdams playing Regina George in Mean Girls)

Sonam Kapoor, the bollywood actress is known in the Indian media for being a ditzy airhead 🤣and she has a Mrigashira stellium

Jordan Peterson and Kanye West are both Mrigashira moon natives and they're known for saying the most batshit crazy stuff.

3. ive noticed that many filmmakers who have prominent Uttarashada placements often explore loneliness and isolation or a lack of belonging in their movies. UA being the only nakshatra to possess a mongoose yoni which means its the only nakshatra without a yoni consort could be why these natives are so desperate for connection yet lacking it.

Shunji Iwai, has UA sun, mercury and ketu (a still from his movie Love Letter)

Jim Jarmusch has UA sun and mercury. All his movies are about loneliness and being an "outsider" in one way or another.

Philip Kaufman has Uttarashada moon. Intensely sexual but unbearably lonely.

Murakami who is known for how melancholic and lonely his books are (albeit strange and wonderfully weird) has Uttarashada sun

Another very common theme is how many Uttarashada natives have strange sexual desires, weird kinks and a perverse or odd sexual life/appetite. If you're familiar with Murakami, I need not explain further xD

4. Venusian natives often allude to Venusian imagery, specifically the Birth of Venus by Botticelli in their works.

Cardi B has Revati moon (venus is exalted in pisces) and here she is wearing Thierry Mugler's Birth of Venus dress to the Grammys.

Uma Thurman (from "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen") has Bharani Sun & Saturn and Purvaphalguni Ketu and here she is playing the Goddess herself!

Aishwarya Rai has Purvaashada moon and she is wearing a dress by Gaurav Gupta that references Venus.

Lady Gaga (from her Applause mv) she has Revati Venus Atmakaraka, as we know Venus is exalted in Pisces and Venus in Revati is considered it's best position. I suggest watching the MV since its rife with pisces imagery :-)

Beyonce has Purvaphalguni sun and the deity of Purvaphalguni is Bhaga, the god of marital bliss. Beyonce's interpretation of the Birth of Venus features her with her twin babies and babies signify the consummation of a marriage, thereby making this a uniquely Purvaphalgunian take on the original.

5. This is a no-brainer but mermaids in cinema are often played by Pisces rashi natives.

Halle Bailey is a UBP sun. Lin Yun is UBP moon and saturn with Revati Ketu. Esther Williams who did a string of aquamusicals in the 1950s has Ketu in Revati.

Sade has Revati Moon & Ketu and plays a mermaid in her most popular song's mv.

Samantha Morton has UBP moon, Venus/Mars/Ketu in Revati and she plays a mermaid in U2's Electrical Storm MV.

7. (TW: sexual assault, incest)

The nakshatra most often associated with incest is Rohini and Mrigashira but I would say Ashlesha also features these themes. Growing up in a very controlling household with a cold/controlling mother figure is a huge theme in the lives of Ashlesha natives.

in Donkey Skin (1970) Catherine Deneuve plays a princess who takes the form of a donkey in order to escape from her father, the king who wishes to marry her because she looks just like her mother. This is quite literally the story of Rohini, who was Lord Brahma's favourite daughter, and he was attracted to her. Rohini sensed this and took the form of a deer and ran away. Lord Brahma subsequently assumed the form of a stag and chased her across the heavens. When Rudra found out what was happening he cut off the head of the stag. The stag’s head became the symbol of the nakshatra of Mrigashira. As we can see Rohini & Mrigashira's mythology is deeply intertwined.

Catherine Deneuve has Ashlesha moon and Mars in Mrigashira as her atmakaraka (her Saturn is also placed in Mrigashira and is her darakaraka).

If you watch the movie, you can see how its overloaded with astrological symbolism (its based on a fairytale, so thats not surprising)

the color blue is used throughout the first half of the film when the princess is in her own kingdom, traditionally blue is associated with Saturn. Shani/saturn is our karma, which teaches us things the hard way. The princess (unwillingly) has to leave the comfort of her palace and kingdom, assume the form of a donkey and go work as a pig-keeper. She loses everything she has ever known and has to work her way up from scratch, this is a typical Saturnian journey and most people experience this during their Saturn return (Saturnian folks experience this all their lives).

the color red is used throughout the second half of the movie, in association with the Prince's kingdom. Red is typically associated with Sun and Mars in vedic astrology. as the princess works out her karma and integrates her shadow, she blossoms into a fully integrated individual, this means she has cultivated her identity and the strength to act upon it. from a passive, weak willed princess in her father's castle, who was willing to marry her father due to her fear of hurting him by refusing to do so, she transforms into someone who moulds her own fate through her own actions. (Sun + Mars)

The fact that she assumes the form of a Donkey, itself is very symbolic. Donkeys, in vedic astrology is often the vehicle of Gods. Therefore, it serves as the door that governs her transition from passivity to individuation.

the Prince saw her for her true nature, although everyone around was convinced that she's just a filthy, hideous Donkey Skin clad servant. When the Prince slips her ring back on to her finger, she transforms back into her original self (true love is a mirror that reminds us of who we really are and gives us the courage to shed our worldly personas). The dress she wears then, is a golden one, originally given to her by her father when she said she wanted a dress "like the sun". Yellow is associated with Jupiter. After enduring the trials of Saturn, the Princess who became Donkey Skin, once again becomes a Princess, except now she has freedom. Saturn's teachings guide us to Jupiter's blessings. The movie's ending showing us that once the Princess had successfully overcome her trials and now embraced her true nature.

[writefightandflightclub]

Hanging by a thread: Miguel O'Hara x fem!reader (NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI)

Summary:

First there was you - and you were alone.

Then, there was Miguel - and you were still alone.

Next, there was you and Miguel.

And you were more alone than ever.

Genre: pure angst really

Author's note: idek, okay. I saw the movie and thought oh hey, here's a spider-bastard blorbo I must soften and then I.... wrote horrible angst for him, LOL. This is part 1 of 3 parts (part 2 here, part 3 in progress), but can absolutely be read as a standalone. It's written in a style which is a bit different from my usual and maybe I haven't pulled it off. See if you like it! (If you don't let's forget it ever happened. No hard feelings. If you do, I can totally be influenced into posting more if you'd like it.) The other parts are in progress, I'm just hideously impatient.

READ THE WARNINGS: arachnophobia folks stay away, obvs. Lots of angst: loneliness, loss, very mild / brief suicidal ideation. Quite a lot of smut references including some kinky / monster-fucker-adjacent shit. References to web bondage, and also to Miguel using his venom on you (consensually) in sexual scenarios (his venom is supposedly a non-toxic paralytic, so obviously don't read if that is likely to be uncomfortable for you). Also warning for dub-con just because of some of the themes, but there's no dub-con itself in the fic. Lmk if I missed any.

First there was you - and you were alone.

Then, there was Miguel - and you were still alone.

Next, there was you and Miguel.

And you were more alone than ever.

***

There is something about him. There must be, or you wouldn’t keep doing this to yourself, would you?

There is something.

Something more than the captivating pool of shadow which collects in the hollows of his eye sockets, his cheekbones. Something more than the spider-eye gloss of his shiny, black hair. Something more than the swell of his impossibly broad form, his network of muscles connected like a web, writhing beneath his skin-tight suit as he hunches over his desk. Something else, other than the darkness spinning in his blood-brown eyes.

There has to be; something.

Or why would you keep doing this to yourself?

There must be some feeling, no? Some feeling greater. Greater than the whisper of his hot, wet kiss trailing down your abdomen. The pink meadow of his tongue blooming in the dark parts of you. Some feeling, greater than the spit trails - like spider strands - which link his mouth to your cunt when he

stops licking

just

to make

you writhe.

Something greater. Deeper. Greater than the mass of him covering you. Deeper than the fill of him splitting you. Sharper than the press of his fangs

at your pulse point

piercing

your skin:

paralysis.

Temporary. Partial.

Frozen; but rushing blood. Numb; sort of. Sensitive; where it counts.

A black hole, briefly. A sanctuary; infinite, for a fleeting moment.

Bound; strung up in his webbing. Bound to him. Spread for him.

Feeling.

For the first time in a long time.

Is that why you keep doing this to yourself?

You’re under already. Buried in the plunge pool darkness of him, and he’s thundering down on you, spinning you like a fly in his sprung trap; but it has to count for something, right?

Because why else would you keep doing this to yourself?

You take a deep breath. A small step. A step closer to being alone, being fragmented, like you’re far from where you belong and the universe wants to split you back to atoms. Like you are segments - triangles of a web Miguel has spun. You are patterns, repeating. Always repeating. Always turning to him even when he is turning away. Counter-clockwise. Counter-clockwise, moving backwards. Spinning his web.

You step closer to him; and once again, you are alone.

You draw a mask down - figuratively - tugging it down over your eyes so that you don't show it. So that you don't let him know that you are alone.

“Hey, Big Boy. I brought you lunch.” You are floating outside of yourself now, like sky-swinging through the city; but your feet are planted firmly on his platform all the same.

He can hear your pulse, remember. He can smell you. See you without looking, and he doesn’t.

He doesn’t look.

He just hunches. Hunches in front of the screen. Wringing his hands. Looking. Staring. Monitoring. Clicking. Thinking. His blood-brown eyes bloodshot and bleary. He blinks; but he doesn’t move. Hasn’t moved in hours, save for the repetitive coil of his taut muscles and the knitting of his brows and the flex of his fingers kneading into his own meaty thigh and the way you move and are moved; for him, to him, by him.

You swallow.

He hears it.

You place the bag of food down beside him and he doesn’t look. Doesn’t acknowledge you with so much as a thank you, his thick fingers tenting on the desk. The spot on the desk where he's had you folded over for him and you wait.

You wait for him to bark at you to leave him alone and he doesn’t and that’s something, isn’t it? But it’s not the “something” you are searching for - no. Not at all, but you pull up a chair all the same. Your eyes scouring the screen now too, looking not seeing; not like him, seeing not looking - and he could look at you but he fucking doesn’t.

And here you are alone.

You pull up a chair. Pull that invisible mask further down over your eyes, your mouth, your voice, your tone, until you’re wearing a suit of it. Skin-tight and covering all of you. Dressed-up in how okay you are and you guess he believes it, if he even thinks of it at all.

“You know there are alerts for this shit?” you stab, and yet, still nothing from him. Nothing but brooding and harsh beauty, his being a sharp fish hook slipped under your skin. “Sirens, even. Huge fuck-off flashing beacons. A pop-up on your little wrist watch. Quite hard to miss actually, Miguel.” His name rolls off your tongue like the spinning of a reel, his line dragging you in.

“You’re funny.” He says it like you're not.

Are you, though? You wouldn’t know it. You wouldn’t know it because his exoskeleton face barely ever cracks into a smile. His shoulders never shake with mirth and you don’t feel very funny any more these days,

not now,

not anymore,

not ever actually.

You think about smoothing his barbs - how’s that for a fucking joke? Rifling your fingers through the black night of his hair. Getting lost in it like it’s an abyss Spot left behind. Like you could disappear in it. Like you might want to.

But you don’t.

No.

Instead, you simply shoot your web. Use it to drop the packet of food from the console shelf into his sturdy lap. “Eat something, Miguel,” you scold tiredly, and he looks down at the plonked packet and he still hasn’t fucking looked at you.

Hasn’t looked at you since last night, actually. Hasn't looked at you since he couldn’t look away. Since he had you full. Full of him. Full of feeling. Warm up against you.

Warm.

Just imagine that from him.

It's funny. Funny because he doesn’t miss a thing. Doesn’t miss a single hitch in your breath; contraction of a muscle in your face; broken sound dying in your throat; droplet of sweat on your skin. Not a scent, sensation or shiver of skin.

It's funny because he doesn’t miss a thing - and he’s oblivious.

Both of these things are true.

“Why do you like these empanadas so much anyway?” you ask, because you notice what he misses. Because you pay attention to the fact they’re his favourite even if he doesn’t bat an eye that you've noticed - out of all the offerings in the HQ cafeteria they make his face twist least. That if you serve them up with coffee that’s joyless and dark and cold - like him - that he won’t thank you, but his shoulders will hunch just a little less. That some of the tension crawls away.

You struggle to remember though, as he continues to ignore you. To recall why you keep doing this to yourself, and so you ask your next question only because you know you shouldn’t.

“Do they remind you of home or something?”

Miguel finally turns to you - and it’s what you wanted until you get it. His eyes are blackened beneath his thick, drawn-down brows. His face contorted as you talk about the one place he can’t go in a room full of fucking doors.

Home.

You went there - the place he can't - and now his blood moon eyes hang like portals, dragging you into a dimension where you don’t even exist anymore as he tells you. Tells you no. He doesn’t like them. They’re dry, he says, his voice gruff - as frayed as thinned webbing. Bland, he says. Not even filling - and it's almost funny that he sounds so angry about cafeteria food; but you know fine well that his anger is a mask.

Still - you wear a mask long enough and hey... at some point it stops being pretend, doesn’t it?

“Okay. Well, then you’re welcome, I guess,” you spit sarcastically, words rising from your throat like venom. Pushing your chair back abruptly. Coming to standing.

After all.

Miguel is only tolerable

in short bursts,

except for when he’s dragging

your orgasm out

into a tightrope

and he's not

so

that’s just about enough

of him

for today.

“You know…” he begins as you turn away, and you’re a fool when your heart rises into your throat, hanging on to a spider thread of hope that he might. That he might finally. Might finally say something which means anything good. “I never asked you to do any of this. If it bothers you? You can go right ahead and stop.”

Oh. Okay.

Wow.

You don’t feel it, actually. Don’t even feel his words until later. Don’t feel them until you are alone. Don’t feel anything anymore until you are alone but then again, aren’t you always? Who can even tell the difference anymore anyway.

You don’t say anything, then. Not in this moment. You don’t ask if you’ll see him tonight, like you want. You don’t even tell him to go right ahead and stop, like you should.

Instead - fool - you slide your thumb up his back like a knife, cutting the tension in his shoulder blades and parsing it out into segments. Instead, you say “Eat, Miguel,” even as he shrugs you off. “You’re cranky.” Cranky doesn't even begin to cover it.

Still... There must be something though? Something that keeps you coming back.

Unless… Unless, of course, you never left. Unless you’re simply falling deeper and deeper into that very same black hole. Falling inside of yourself. Getting lost.

Miguel finally looks at you.

Looks at you as the pad of your thumb rubs pathetic circles into the nape of his neck.

Cranes his neck. Turns his head. Swivels his chair. Fucking looks at you - and as you stare back into his abyss he softens. Softens, as he grips the packet of shitty empanadas in his huge, stupidly broad palm and there it is.

Ah. The reason you keep doing this to yourself.

There is something.

Something so fleeting that it scurries away like an uncovered spider, lost again quickly to some dark, cobwebbed corner. Lost, before you can hope to trap it beneath a glass for further examination.

There is something that keeps you hanging on; but you're hanging by a thread.

He catches your hand in his and you feel small. "Will I see you tonight?"

Ah. Thank goodness you're wearing a figurative mask. Thank goodness he's oblivious.

You don't answer. Don't acknowledge his touch even as the hairs on the backs of your arms stand on end. Instead, you simply look down at the bundle in his other palm.

The food you brought him is cold now; but it doesn’t matter.

Warmth can’t touch him any longer.

You’ve tried that.

Oh, how you’ve tried.

There was you - and you were alone.

Then there was Miguel - and you were still alone.

"Yeah," you finally sound out. "I'll see you tonight."

Next, there was you and Miguel.

And now, you are more alone than ever.

[bracketsoffear]

The Fates (Hadestown) "The Fates from Mythology act as a Greek Chorus and an inner conscious to Orpheus, Eurydice, and even to Hades himself. Lonely Avatars often target those predisposed to loneliness and both Orpheus and Eurydice fit that description to a tea. Orpheus's mother abandoned him young, and the world seemed to abandon Eurydice at every single turn.

They actively cause misfortune towards Eurydice. They are the wind who blows out her matches, the wind that takes her coat. They take her only sources of warmth and security, manipulating her desires and convincing her that it's her against the world. Her only choice is to go to Hadestown. Once she arrives, they are the ones to tell her the awful truth and emphasize how alone she really is while way down under the ground. Aside from the inherent Buried-ness of Hadestown, it has some properties of the House Domain from MAG 170. Eventually, you will forget everything about your past, especially the things that gave you comfort - only focusing on the work you have to do and the building of Hadestown's wall.

They taunt Orpheus both when he enters and leaves Hadestown, asking who he thinks he is for entering without permission. "Who are you?", they ask, "Where do you think you're going?/Why are you all alone?/Who are you to walk a road that no one ever walked before?" They are the reason Orpheus doubts that Eurydice is behind him - that he's all alone and Hades went back on his deal. Well, Orpheus always had those doubts; they just brought them to life.

So he turns around, eternally separating the two lovers."

Slugpelt (Pinepaw and the Forgotten World) "she is lonely--her mother was cruel, favoring her brother rainhaze whilst treating her like shit, and the group where she lives is very isolated. also her boyfriend left her to raise her kids alone

she spreads loneliness--while she is less of an antagonist and more of a tragic hero in her own right (and she's at least trying to get better), she does somewhat pass her loneliness down to her kids, being... rather neglectful and barely connecting with them (generational cycles of abuse are somewhat of a. theme in patfw). the comic's author, Raz, is also a big tma fan and has explicitly described her as Lonely-aligned."

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hii! First off I absolutely adore your writing and I'm super excited for your upcoming fics, but I was wondering what are your favorite go-to fics (by other authors) that you want to read again and again?

Hello, love!

I did this once, but I can’t seem to find the post (go figure) so I’m happy to do it again. ❤️ I actually have a folder on my Kindle titled Comfort Fics and these are what’s in there. (I also have a bunch of fics from the same authors, but I thought it best to rec one per author. Check out their other stuff if you haven’t already.)

Most Re-Read Fic

🏈 Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can’t Lose by dolce_piccante

This fic has, without a doubt, my most favorite version of Louis ever written. But more than that, I think that this is just a very nostalgic fic for me, because it was released about six months into me falling into the fandom, and so it kind of reminds me of that time where I was discovering fics and fandom and Larry for the first time. I feel like whenever I go back to it, it feels like that slice of time all over again. Epitome of a comfort fic.

Snack Fic Re-Read

🌬️Fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou

This is just the most perfect single-sitting fic ever. It has everything you need to feel like you’ve read something full and all consuming. I’m a really big fan of the romantic build up, and I love that this has that, even in what is technically an established relationship trope. Love, love, love.

Fave Bedtime Re-Read

🕊️ Counting the Steps Between Us by zarah5

I keep crawling back to this fic like a long lost lover. It’s just written in such a way that hits the spot every time, with the perfect amount of tension and storytelling for you to feel like you’ve earned it by the time they get together.

Best Smut Re-Read

🫦 Hike Up Your Skirt (and Show Your World to Me) by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies

When this was being written, I told @twopoppies that it was going to overthrow Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by LoadedGunn as my holy grail smut fic and I wasn’t wrong. I mean… this fic’s reputation precedes it. It just gets the job done in the most delicious, dark, dirty way. I get that the themes might not be for everyone, but it’s definitely for me. If you’re specifically looking for something that can only be described as delectable debauchery, you’ve found it. (Read the tags!)

Specific Mood Re-Read

🪐 Saved Tonight by Anonymous*

Harry's the world's most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis' biggest fan. Louis hasn't written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It's probably destiny.

This fic is just really, really special to me. It’s soft in the most weird and wonderful way, and I’ve not found another fic that makes me feel the way this does. I think the best way to describe this is that it’s a fic that envelopes you in such a specific setting that you find yourself going back to it to live in that place for a little while.

*The author has since taken it down, and I don’t know by what username they prefer to go by, so I just listed it as Anonymous.

A/B/O Re-Read

🐺 Where You Lay by HamPalpert

When Louis's upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates' best mate, Harry Styles. Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

A/B/O is my most favorite trope ever, but because there are a lot of different permutations of the “rules”, it’s often hard for me to find an A/B/O fic that includes everything I really really really love about the trope. This is that fic for me.

Best Soft Re-Read

🎵 Make Your Words A Weapon by HelloAmHere / @helloamhere

The way Harry is written in this fic is everything to me. This fic is soft in the most lovely way, and there’s something so healing in the way it discusses trauma without ever sacrificing the romance in the fic. This has a piece of dialogue that I think about nearly monthly, but I won’t share it cause I want you to experience it for yourself first.

Holy Grail Re-Read

⏳my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach

Let me start off by saying this fic is an investment, but Jesus is it worth it. This is just the most unique blend of canon and Larry lore ever, and it just does it so, so perfectly. If you’re looking for a fic that will make you see Larry’s love story as the most perfect insider version of it ever, this is the fic. It’s so good that I never want to read/watch the original Time Traveler’s Wife. As far as I’m concerned, this is the original. (Don't forget to read the companion piece feel myself fall, make a joke of it all.)

Honorable Mentions

(I haven’t re-read these yet only because I feel like I’ve just finished them and I’m giving myself some time to miss them so much that it feels like the first time all over again.)

🗽 Mine Would Be You by @crinkle-eyed-boo

An exes-to-lovers for the ages. This fic is painfully beautiful, and there’s something about these characters that have stood (and will continue to stand) the rest of time. I think this is a gorgeously mature fic that deals with the complexities of love and romance in a way that’s rare. This is one of the most realistic depictions of Harry and Louis that feels true to who they are in every era.

🦋 of the divine by @thedevilinmybrain

Harry in this is literally ethereal, but also, the way the romance is layered over religious themes is just done in such a fulfilling and delicious way. I love fics that manage to marry such specific knowledge with a story that’s still romantic and wildly sexy. This is a journey, and just thinking about it makes me want to pick it up immediately.

[homestuckreplay]

Harlequin Anger vs Jester Ennui - Color as John Egbert’s Emotions

Week 2 Retrospective

John Egbert is the silliest little guy, but we’re starting to see hints of what he’s feeling beneath the surface. Looking at the themes of the comic so far, my current theory is that the colorful elements in the comic are the things that make John feel strong emotions - both good and bad - while the monochrome elements represent what makes John feel bored and frustrated.

Analysis below the cut - about 2,200 words.

‘A familiar note is produced. It's the one Desolation plays to keep its instrument in tune.’ (p.82)

Desolation has two, related meanings - one is loneliness, grief, and lack of companionship, while the other is ruin, emptiness and destruction. The first meaning is John’s current mental state, while the second is the suburb he lives in. The majority of what’s surrounding John is entirely monochrome, and so is John himself. We also learn from the narration on p.82 that ‘something feels missing from [John’s] life’ and that he has a sense ‘not of mirth, but of lack’. I think he spends a lot of time going through the motions - poking at things in his room without settling to anything, wandering up and down the stairs when his dad is occupied - but his life is the same day in and day out, and he struggles to inject any excitement into his life, or even any anger at the situation he’s trapped in. 

I think it’s extremely notable that almost everything relating to John’s family is monochrome. In addition to the house as a whole, the portraits of his dad and nanna are monochrome, as are the gifts and cakes from his dad, the car outside, and most importantly the piano. I don’t think John hates his father, but I think he struggles to connect with him or feel close to him. Ignoring page 72’s peanut ambiguity, the worst we hear about Dad is that he will ‘monopolize hours of [John’s] time’ (p.30) and ‘can be a real cornball’ (p.49), which is a big contrast to him calling Betty Crocker his ‘arch nemesis’ (p.48). 

Therefore, John’s dad is an inconvenience, not a threat. John might know intellectually that his dad loves him - ‘the old man really came through this time’ (p.19), as well as the kind fatherly notes left on John’s birthday presents (p.12, p.55) - but I think he can’t make the leap to actually caring about his dad in return or enjoying his company.

John is a gifted piano player, and gives us a ‘haunting piano refrain’ (p.77). Him being a musician ties back into the act title - ‘the note desolation plays’ uses the language of music, something so often filled with emotion, to describe a lack of it. Given that, of course the piano is monochrome. Perhaps John even sees the piano as the source of his problems, or at least representative of them. 

I noted at the time that it was strange John hadn’t listed piano among his interests when it’s clearly something he’s spent a lot of time on, and now I think it’s something that was taught to him as a kid by either his dad or nanna. He’s good at it, but he’s so disconnected from family life that it no longer brings him any joy, it’s just a hangover from his childhood. ‘Haunting’ makes me think it was his nanna who taught him - now every time John plays, he’s haunted by her memory (or even her literal ghost). Possibly her death is what made John disconnect from the hobby, especially with ‘desolation’ relating to grief.

On page 4, we get our first glimpse of the outside. The blue sky shot through with the brown tree is the largest splash of color in John’s room. The promise of the outside world is extremely colorful, and we know John wants to go there - the window reflected in John’s glasses on page 28 as he grins excitedly is a clear visual indication of that. Yet when we finally see it, the outside isn’t all color - the grass, sky, trees and flowers all are, but the man made aspects such as the driveway, tire swing, and other houses in the neighborhood are gray and dull.

Page 82 gives us the dramatic moment of John removing his clever disguise and gazing up at the sky. It’s the first time we see the sun and the uninterrupted expanse, and it’s framed like it’s significant for John, too. I don’t think it’s literally his first time stepping outside (you can’t tell me his dad didn’t push him on that tire swing as a kid) but I think it’s the moment he realizes that leaving his literal house doesn’t mean he’s not stuck - the neighborhood is just more of the same, and whatever restrictions John’s working within mean he can’t go any further than this. A front yard is legally part of a house, and the reality of the outside doesn’t excite him as much as the idea of it.

And then there’s the clowns. The one aspect of his dad that really gets John going; the harlequin portraits in the hallway and living room that Dad brought back from clown con are bright, obnoxious, and impossible to ignore. Interestingly, the ones in the study are black and white - perhaps John is okay with the clown pictures in the study, because that’s explicitly his dad’s space, but he doesn’t like the ones in the main area, because they make him feel like the house is fully his dad’s, not a shared space they could decorate together. 

This is pure speculation, but I don’t think John has ever moved house. I get the impression that he grew up in this house, which is his dad’s now and was perhaps originally his nanna’s, and has never known a world outside of this specific neighborhood. Because John’s been there since he was born, it’s never crossed his dad’s mind that John might want to, say, put his Little Monsters poster in the living room - hence why that gift was left in John’s bedroom, while the harlequin doll is allowed to be downstairs. 

Speaking of John’s room, it’s definitely not an oasis of color within the house. In our first shot of the room, we see six splashes of color, including the outside and John’s shirt - comparable to the living room (six including John’s shirt and hat) and study (five including the outside and John’s hat). A full three of the colorful elements in John’s room are related to Sburb, which in both the visuals and text is the thing John’s by far the most excited about right now, but I’ll circle back around to this. 

John’s magic chest, magician’s hat, blood capsules, and copies of Colonel Sassacre’s and Wise Guy are all colorful too, but other prank elements - fake arms, beaglepuss, handcuffs, sword, smoke pellets) are all monochrome. This one’s tough, but my best guess is that John feels conflicted about his interest in pranks because it’s so similar to his dad’s interest, and perhaps even that the monochrome items are things John’s dad bought for him for past birthdays and holidays, while the colorful ones are things John got for himself. 

John’s shirt is also worth mentioning here. John’s ambivalence with the house extends to himself, and kids often don’t have a lot of control over their appearance. He probably doesn’t choose his own clothes or glasses or haircut, and he definitely can’t go out and get a tattoo of Slimer or anything like that, so it’s very telling that wearing a shirt with a favorite movie on it is the one way John can actually connect to himself. 

That said, all the movie posters in his room are monochrome, which I’ll again circle back to. One exception is the close up of the Problem Sleuth poster (p.11), which is mostly monochrome, but has four kernels of colorful candy corn. I love this detail so much. It’s a fun reference to Hussie’s previous work and suggests that the candy corn gags in Problem Sleuth are John’s favorite part, which feels right for him. I wonder if John will use candy corn for a prank at some point in reference to this game he likes. I also noticed that the menu bar at the top of the web page also contains four kernels of candy corn - is this just because Problem Sleuth is Hussie’s most notable work, or could it be a clue for Homestuck too?

The most colorful and complex elements of the comic so far are the screens. We see John’s computer, which as a physical object is monochrome but which lights up to a brightly colored world of chums, flashing programs, desktop icons and stunning feats of graphic design, including things John loves (Slimer) and things that make him boil with rage (coding). We also get to see a very green tinted TV commercial in the living room, and a full color clip of Con Air linked from page 20. 

All this makes me wonder if John’s list of interests is chronological. First on his list (p.4) is ‘really terrible movies’, and many of his favorite titles are from the 1980s and 90s, meaning he probably grew up with them. I think he still loves watching and discussing them, but - given that movies are a fairly passive medium - just the reminder of them on his wall isn’t enough to take him out of his own head anymore. He then got into programming, the paranormal, magic, and video games in sequence, meaning that the final two are his most active interests right now, and the ones to which the most time and color are devoted. In this way, the casual end to the list ‘You also like to play GAMES sometimes’ reads like intentionally downplaying something that’s actually really important, the sarcasm of ‘sometimes’ revealed later when we learn that John has ‘put countless manhours into this assortment of quality titles’ (p.31).

Unlike the movie posters, most of the games on John’s CD rack are in color, and unlike movies, games can offer an interactive, immersive experience. Games are enticing to John right now because they’re the best escape from a monotonous, suburban life that John has access to. He’s played his current collection time and time again (to the point that Bard Quest and Problem Sleuth have lost their color), and that’s why he’s so desperate for Sburb to arrive, and why the colorful reminders of Sburb are all over his room.

I think there’s a very real question of whether Sburb will live up to John’s expectations. At only one letter away from Suburb, it’s a clear reminder that video games don’t actually take John away from the life he’s stuck in, they’re a cosmetic alteration at best - and if the themes of the game are too close to John’s real life problems, he won’t find that escapism. So while I’d love to see a version of this comic where John finally starts playing Sburb and the whole screen immediately explodes into color, I’m not sure it’ll be that easy.

Finally, there’s the meta elements of the story. The captchalogue card overlay and strife specibus are pink and green respectively, and other elements that pop up (indication of whether or not we’ve got John’s name right, the cake turning blue when selected, the blinking green telling us we can put the poster on the wall, etc) are colorful too. The hammer that John allocates to his strife specibus is monochrome, however, which fits really well with John allocating it on TG’s instructions and not knowing that the allocation is permanent. If he’d known, he would have chosen something he felt more strongly about.

Interestingly, the narrative text is black. I still don’t think we’re directly getting John’s perspective, I think that’s been filtered through a specific narrator who has a voice very different to John’s (based on John’s Pesterchum messages), but I don’t think John has any awareness of this. In contrast, he’s all too aware of his captchalogue deck and the artificial, needlessly complex limitations it imposes, and he visually reacts to us getting his name right or wrong. 

If John were to somehow become aware of the narrative text, and have strong feelings about the way he’s being portrayed (or the fact that he’s being written about at all), perhaps it would change color? After all, when John talks to his friends, each of them has a defined color, perhaps relating to the different relationships he has with each friend, and different emotions arising from that. John doesn’t seem to always like his friends - he gets frustrated at the notifications, and spends his whole conversation with TT already trying to leave - but he still replies and actively engages with them, a massive contrast to how he is with his dad. 

‘His riddle is Absence itself.’ (p.82)

To conclude, I do find it interesting that the brightest colors in the comic are the things that are most natural (grass, flowers) and the things that are most artificial (screens, the abstract concept of the inventory) while everything in the middle is black and white. This fits with the idea of color being about both extremes at once, and the idea that John wants a chance to explore both the real and virtual worlds. 

The meta function of color is to make certain visual elements stand out to the audience and tell us they’re worth paying attention to. From a purely functional perspective, it makes sense that the things most important to John would also be highlighted to us. But given the theme of lack and emptiness, the absence of color is just as important. And as the comic is already playing so much with the meta, I think that’s the most helpful starting point for analysis. 

[animeyanderelover]

Derieri, Diane and Melascula finding a human darling and being protective and possessive over her

Ooh, some ladies from Seven Deadly Sins.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, delusional thoughts, overprotective behavior, isolation, abduction

My little human

Diane

🐍She just can't handle her humans's adorableness without blushing and hiding her face behind her twin tails. Needless to say, she often finds herself a bit embarrassed and sometimes also insecure when she's around you. So Merlin has a giantess pleading her day and night to give her something so that she can shrink to human size and properly interact with you. In her taller form she never gathers the courage to interact with you out of fear that you might be scared of her. In her shrunken form though, Diane gathers this lacking courage she doesn't possess in her giantess form and seeks you out without any problems. She's a very energetic young lady with a certain charm to her, she is very optimistic. If you look down or are in any bad mood, she'll do her best to cheer you up somehow. She hates seeing you sad and she actually gets quite mad if you remain depressed and starts throwing here and there a little tantrum.

🐍Diane is really clingy and always wants to follow you around in her shrunken form. She despises loneliness a lot already but with her darling it is even worse. She barely wants to seperate herself from you, if she spends anymore time with you she'd probably become your second shadow. Trying to tell her carefully that you'd like some time alone never ends well. Diane is despite her physical toughness emotionally quite delicate, especially around you, so even having you mention that you'd like to be left alone for a bit hurts her. There are tears in her eyes as she looks at you with a sincere look of heartbreak in her eyes and you rarely manage to resist. The big lady is quite delusional when it comes to you. She loves romanticising every little gesture and word you said to her which leads her to often misunderstanding certain actions you take. Maybe her origins also play a part in this cluelessness. She probably wouldn't even be above genuinely thinking that you two are soulmates of some sort to feed even further into her romanticised dreams.

🐍Yet as the Envy of Sin, Diane is prone to jealousy. Gender isn't even an issue as everyone could be targeted. If you pay attention to someone else or do something she thought you'd only done for her, envy infiltrates her heart. She isn't violent but her emotions definitely get the better off her and she isn't shy of throwing a scene, even if she isn't even aware of it herself. Often she is running away with tears in her eyes but despite her sour mood it is relatively easy to bring her back to her usual self by complimenting her or doing something special for her. Unintentionally, she also tends to look down on you for being a human. You are her treasure and her love, someone she wants to protect fiercely. Unfortunately this can lead her to believing that it is safest for you if she would just stay with you all of the time because there are few things that can compete with her ridiculous strength. Her own confidence in her own abilities additionally trap her into thinking that she could just solve all of your problems, often without fully thinking it through.

Derieri

🔶​Derieri is going to be in denial of her own feelings for quite a while. She doesn't have the best opinion about your kind so her own beliefs up until now are challenged by her growing feelings. She'd rather rip her seven hearts out and nail them on the wall then ever admitting that as her own pride prevents her from doing so. She interprets her feelings as weakness yet she can't prevent what has already been set in motion. She is such a Tsundere to be honest but her tough and rough exterior doesn't stop her from stalking you quite a while without ever being noticed. She is grumpy and even if she is quite taciturn, Moonspeed can see that something is bothering her. Not that she'll tell him, at least for now. Instead she lashes a bit out on him, hissing at him to leave her alone. She's so grumpy and her inner conflict worsens her furious temper as you essentially become a trigger for her to fall into rage.

🔶​Definitely on the protective side and you being but a mere human makes this even worse. She is openly viewing you as a weak and helpless creature that needs protection and even if she is a demon and probably would elicit fear out of you if you would ever catch sight of her, she takes over the part of protecting you. Honestly, she feels like demolishing the landscape whenever she sees you being in danger but she does now that she shouldn't just storm blindly out of her hiding spot. It's too early for her to expose herself to you just yet. Derieri is far more merciless than Diane as she will murder anyone that endangers or harms you without any second thought. Despite her feelings she hasn't grown soft after all. She feels no real regret either about her actions either because what she kills now will never get a chance to hurt you again. You should know though that she is silently cursing you for your own weakness too at times because she can't even fathom how you get yourself in such peril sometimes.

🔶​She gradually comes to terms with her feelings for you and that gives her the necessary emotional stability to show herself to you. That automatically means that she will abduct you as soon as she has revealed herself to you even despite your pleads and tears. I'd say that Derieri is on a lucid spectrum though, in regards of her emotions at least. At the same time she sees the whole situation in a rather nonchalant light. She's come to terms with her emotions so nothing is really stopping her anymore. Surprisingly the demon is somewhat considerate around you though because of you being a human and because she can at least understand that most people would freak out if they were in the same position as you. That won't stop her from having a small and frustrated outburst when you push her buttons for too long though. Her words are sharp and rude without much consideration and she might destroy something in her close vicinity out of frustration, reminding you promptly of her strength.

Melascula

🌫️​Honestly, good luck with Melascula. This demoness will have an almost hysterical reaction upon initially recognising her feelings as something more. She always looked down on humans her entire life and she could never imagine ever falling in love with someone. It feels like a betrayal against the Demon King and since she has always been loyal, her head feels like splitting apart. Chances are that she summons a few weaker demons and tells them to kill you as she herself doesn't want to bother but she always ends up having a change of heart in the last moment. She either summons them back or kills them if they don't listen to her or even go as far as attacking you. Prepare yourself to get abducted quickly without even knowing what is going on as darkness one day just wraps itself around you. You wake up only to see Melascula's face and as much as she tries to appear reserved, calm and in control, you can almost see the hidden disgust behind her dark eyes.

🌫️​Living with her is literal hell as she switches constantly back and forth between actively ignoring you and not paying attention to your needs or mocking you and gloating about herself in front of such a weak human as yourself with an almost sadistic grin on her face. Melascula is bullying you, mistreating you or neglecting you most of the time and you don't know even why. Perhaps it's just because she just is like this but you couldn't be more wrong about it. In fact her feelings for you have gotten worse so by ridiculing you and treating you as terrible as she does, she tries to convince herself of your uselessness and weakness. At the same time she experiences intense jealousy and outrage whenever you beg for her to release you because you miss your family and friends. She just can't understand why you'd cling to them. What is so special about them anyways?! She's part of the Ten Commandments! Why aren't you seeing her as something special?! Why aren't you feeling honored that she even keeps you alive?!

🌫️​Her tactic changes after a while. She seems to be nicer and acts sickenly sweet and it creeps you out. You'd even prefer her just treating you like before instead of actually attempting to be kind. At least her definition of kindness which still includes you being forced into everything just so she can do what she wants to do with you. Suddenly she is extremely touchy and that can range from light pats to a tight grip when you annoy or disobey her. She despises disobedience from your side because she as a demoness is obviously above you so you should do as she says. She has punishments in store for you and whilst they would never include any physical harm because she doesn't want to ruin or damage your beauty, she's always punishing you mentally. Differently from Diane or even Derieri she never lets you leave the place she prepared for you so your mentality will be shot after some time just being around Melascula. Because despite her cute appearance, this woman unleashes utter destruction onto anything that might endanger you or even threaten to prevent her from owning your heart.

[dirtytransmasc]

random avatar hc's cause I'm bored. (these fall closer to canon, and not for one of my au's, so like... vaguely 'normal' spider, not so nice neytiri, etc. unless specified otherwise)

spider and tuk are besties. the way she sorta hides behind spider when she blows a raspberry at lo'ak? she knows he'd take her side in a fight. spider will never tell her she's "too big" for anything, he literally works out partly because he wants to be able to carry her for as long as possible. he goes out of his way to play with her when her siblings ditch her. take whole days to just follow tuk around and do what she wants to do. she made him a songchord and goes to sit with eywa with him so he won't be alone. doesn't get why people don't like him, cause she thinks he's the best. so she tries to make him happy when they're together. pisses neytiri off, cause she always wants to spend time with spider, even when she tells tuk not to (it makes spider sweat bullets, cause tuk refuses to let go of his hand and neytiris just glaring at him, and he almost wants to beg her to let go)

ao'nung is also tuks best friend. they bully each other, but get offended if anyone insinuates they don't like each other. she's still mad at him for being mean when they first met, won't let him live it down, even years after the fact. braids his hair all. the. time, he can't get her to stop touching it.

even outside of my blessed spider au, spider has connected with eywa, cause she accepted him no matter what, he just doesn't tell anyone. she knows how to connect to humans now, via her roots, so she connects with the boy. he feels like if he points it out he'll get in trouble or he'll be 'using eywa' to get what he wants (which isn't true, but the boy has some irrational fears cause ✨trauma✨)

ao'nung and rotxo 'dated' as kids, like schoolyard crush type dating, cause they were really young. it lasted a few years (on and off) from like 6ish to 10/11, but to this day, they're still very close. like, its odd to find them not touching each other or cuddling or holding hands. they're inseparable and have no clue what personal space is, at all. they still say "I love you", kiss eachother's cheeks/foreheads, ao'nung is possessive, roxto is always talking about him. they're platonic they swear (not a soul believes them).

neteyam doesn't want to be chief, sometimes he hates being jakes son because of the weight on his shoulders, but he doesn't complain cause he doesn't want to be a disappointment, and he doesn't want to watch his siblings struggle to carry the weight themselves.

spider self soothes by brushing a thumb over his own cheek or running his fingers through his hair or holding his own hand. he's so insanely touch-starved its not even funny.

he's also a maladaptive daydreamer. I got no solid reason, it just feels right. gotta deal with his loneliness and metric ton of big feelings in one way or another.

he also feels the urge to talk to himself, a lot, especially when he's out alone in the woods. he just happens to think the ato'kirina are a coincidence (eywa listens to him attentively like a mother should).

spider tends to 'ignore' signs of eywa when it comes to himself, because he can't accept that eywa would ever wish to connect to or guide him. (its a running theme in my hc's)

after sorting out their drama, ao'nung is really close to lo'ak. after neteyam's death he sorta becomes his big brother. their dynamic is a mess, but they make it work. ao'nung is sorta like a punching bag for lo'ak a lot of the time (like hopper and mike in that one scene in season 2 of stranger things). ao'nung hates watching him mourn (he wishes he had died instead. for more then one reason, but that's a big one). other times they're super sweet on each other, play roughhousing, just hanging out, lightly teasing one another. they're my messy boys.

kiri refuses to pick between spider and rotxo. they don't mind. polycule for the win.

spider isn't immediately accepted by the metkayina, but he tries really really hard to prove himself, and does make some sort of name for himself. they may not all like him, but they respect him.

spider learned to treat bullet wounds after having to sit behind neteyam, staring at the bullet hole, and not knowing what to do. he blames himself for neteyams death, but he thinks that if he knew what to do, if hadn't frozen, if he'd known what to do, maybe he would have lived.

ao'nung has a disproportionate level of big brother instinct, relative to his general asshole personality. he's insanely protective of anything smaller them then him, even if he himself hates it. aka, even before he accepted spider into his friend group, or the village as a whole, he was instinctively protective, embarrassingly so. still kicks himself for getting lo'ak hurt (he meant to scare the piss out of him sure, but he never wanted him to get hurt) and he genuinely cringes, one of those full body shakes type cringes, when he thinks about it. he hates its.

spider doesn't know how to properly show affection after always being denied it, having to suppress it (not being able to affectionate with the other sully kids in front of the elders), etc. so now he sorta just struggles. the sully kids don't really notice how he hides his affections, how he's timid about it, what he considers to be affection. the metkayina kids are not used to it, they are genuinely concerned. spider is genuinely afraid to be nice to people when not in private. he's deathly afraid of receiving affection in front of others.

tsireya and ao'nung (sorta rotxo too, but he's dating him, so its kinda different) forcibly adopt him after a while, they can't help it. he's like a kicked puppy, its hard not to love him.

roxto's grandma (who raised him, canon, cause i said so) and all his brothers and sisters (he has a big family, mostly adopted siblings,) love spider, so he has a little makeshift family.

spider would, whether he was accepted as one or not, become a warrior after what happened that night in the forest (getting kidnapped) and what happened on the ship/to neteyam. he won't let himself be taken off guard again, he won't let the people he loves, even if they don't love him back, get hurt again. he vows his life to the na'vi, to pandora, to Eywa herself; he will die before he loses someone else.

spider and lo'ak orange cat energy, kiri and tuk have tortie energy (sassy queen), roxto is a tuxedo cat, ao'nung and neteyam are black cats, tsireya has tabby vibes (sweet but sassy). (fight with the wall)