#also abt my last post (these tags have nothing to do w this post lol) i think i said smth off now that i think abt it. here mitsumi talks

[meruz]

hi!! im sure ppl have asked this b4, but i scoured your asks tag for an hour or so looking to see if you answered anything abt it and couldnt find anything, so i was just wondering if youve made any posts on your process for making n selling merch b4? and how you know which franchises you can make merch for w/o getting into trouble w copyright n trademark stuff (hopefully that makes sense, im not sure,,,)

hi! got a bunch of asks abt merch stuff lately im gonna put it under a cut.

preface: i don't know if i'm the best person to ask about all this stuff because I'm doing merch on a strictly hobby basis LOL. I have a fulltime job which takes care of the bulk of my finances, I don't really make big quantities of anything and my main priority at cons is to just make enough money to see my friends in different cities at minimal expense. i pretty much always get a refund when i file my con taxes because my profit after all the deductions is like fucking..nothing.. lmao. So if you ultimately lose money following my advice don't blame me. OK NOW lets get into it

my process for making merch: when I have an event scheduled that I want to make merch for I start by brainstorming a bunch of stuff I wanna make. for mgscon this is what I wrote down in my sketchbook lol

i made a legend to denote which ones are actually just reprints. it gets easier to plan out merch when you already have merch. out of the new merch ideas here i actually only made like 4 of them. and out of the reprints i only reprinted like three. i also came up with like 4-5 other merch ideas after writing out this list that i actually did do. LMAOO UM. my point here is that nothing rly goes as planned.

when i get a merch idea i start with thumbnails what i want it to look like (sometimes this is based off merch ive seen before so its very realized and sometimes its really vague bc im kind of pulling it out of my ass)

then BEFORE i go into making the final art I research how I'm going to make the merch. whether its printing/constructing it myself or looking for a manufacturer. There's a lot of different places that you can get custom merch made, i used to go shopping around at local printing shops but nowadays it's really common to do it all online. For both these jet tags and the washi tape I did some of my own research into manufacturers and also asked friends for their contacts/referrals/recommendations etc. most manufacturers either have their specs/template publicly available or will give them to you when you ask. so once I've locked into a manu and gotten the specs I'll start designing the final art.

then it's sending it off and waiting! easier said than done.

i will say this process is a lot lengthier for some types of merch than others LOL. for prints... I've been doing prints for like a million years and I plan out almost none of it. I draw everything at print resolution so a week before I have a con scheduled I'll simply go through all the files I've accumulated since my last con, squeeze whatever drawings I want into standard print sizes lol (ie. 8.5x11, 11x17, 4x6 etc), and print them at a local shop. takes like a couple hours max.

how you know which franchises you can make merch for w/o getting into trouble w copyright n trademark stuff?

I mean. honestly I don't know. selling fanart is the kind of thing that IP holders kind of just let slide as long as they don't think they're losing a substantial amt of money on it. there ARE a couple franchises people avoid because they've been known to send IP lawyers after fanartists... disney is the big one and they're known for being pretty petty abt it... that's why you don't really see people selling fanart of the disney princesses at cons. ive heard pokemon will also crack down if your project seems to be making a lot of money lol, part of why i think a lot of pokemon fanzines operate on a charity basis. I do feel like the pokemon company has bigger fish to fry than someones artist alley table though so i wouldn't sweat it too much.

it's also generally considered impolite/bad taste to sell fanart of small franchises. webcomics and indie games especially if they only have like 1-2 devs who rely on the income that game makes.

I'm not a lawyer so you shouldn't consider this legal advice BUT I will say... I don't think you should let IP law stop you from selling fanart lol. especially if it's low quantities/not mass produced and you're not making crazy amts of money I think you kind of have a leg to stand on. Besides, most cases it seems like the worst you'll get is a cease and desist.

you Will notice that when people start turning their artist alley endeavors into a real business they'll generally ease up on selling fanart (the case most prominent in my mind is omocat lol). but i love fanart and thats why i will never make money and thats a promise [snake saluting gif]

SORRY IDK IF ANY OF THIS WAS HELPFUL. I've been doing merch and cons for a long time (10+ years lmao, you can find record of this on this very blog) and i think im kind of old fashioned about it. i recognize the artist alley/merch scene is a lot more demanding now than it used to be but start small at local low-risk events, online sales etc and work your way up and remember to have fun and itll be ok i believe this wholeheartedly.

its literally just layers of acrylic like any other dinky charm. I'm sure pretty much any manu that does acrylic charms could do it but this specific charm/template i did order through a group order server. they're pretty well known! heres a link to their twitter

@wheatormeat sorry for taking a full month to answer this... anyways. This is tricky because I've actually been changing up my sticker manu everytime LOL IDK if I've found one I actually love.

these ones i ordered thru an alibaba manu because I was jumping on a friend's group order to save on shipping. it was ok. they arrived a liiiitle late and printed a lil dark but i think thats kind of my fault LOL I use dark colors i always need to lighten things before i get them printed and i think i just didnt lighten these enough. otherwise i rly love the quality!

i realized i never posted these online and also this is not a good picture (the lighting in my living room sucks rn) but i printed these tmnt stickers thru stickerninja they feel really solid but they needed kind of a lot of space for the cutline. but their customer service was very nice and helpful!

these ones i got printed at washimill and i was so impressed with how fine their cutline is... pricing and quality of the sticker itself is alright they feel a lil flimsy? idk. but i do like the printing. i kind of elected to go with them solely because i was already ordering washi tape. A LOT of my manufacturing decisions are made based on how much money i can save on shipping tbh.

and thats my sticker manu reviews dont forget to like comment subscribe idk if i have one im gonna stick with forever or anything im rly indecisive. ideally id like a manu based in the u.s...? because im based in the u.s. and international shipping is pricey. but idk if i keep ordering washi tape maybe ill keep using washimill. who knows...

[trashiest-person]

people I'd love to know better (???)

uhh i have never done any of these kinda posts ever in my 5 years of tumblr-ing but i got tagged by @thedemises so ig im gonna do this

last song: CLOSET by Yoh kamiyama

this is actually kinda a lie cuz the last song i actually listened to was smth from one of those daily mixes on spotify

BUT is it the last some i added to the playlist of songs i like so it counts??? i guess???? pretty nice song go listen to it 👍🤠👍

also go listen to will wood and tv room (bro has 7.5k followers on Spotify PLEASE + also he made Say It Back if u ever saw it on yt)

fav color: purple, red (except not really)

i used to really like purble but tbh i don't really know what i like anymore

a big chunk my fav characters have red so i like it by association lol (+ red eyes go hard)

last movie: across the spider-verse

decided to go watch it w/ my kid cousins once and now i need to see unspeakable things happen to Spot. i will not elaborate.

sweet or spicy or savoury?

sweet & savoury

tbh all of them r good but my spice tolerance aint strong enough to devour spicy dried squid like id want to :(

relationship status: single and not lookin for anybody (+demiromanic)

id like to get a lover or lovers (i kinda wanna be in poly) at some point but not yet (not sure if i'll ever manage to :/)

last thing i googled: "portal characters"

so context: i suddenly thought of a oc idea and i wanted them to be trans and that they named xemself after a portal character n yeah

meet Wheatley lol (i know nothing abt Portal btw)

(good lorde my style is inconsistent as hell)

(note @ringdabel they're in that prev wb we did if u wanna see thems)

hohhh boy here we go

current obsession: BOOTHILL 🤠👢🪦‼️‼️

bros highkey actin as my will to live rn...AND he got dripped 1 day RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY. I LOVE HIM. 250 passes + 40 pity he WILL COME HOME

im fucking insane for this guy

so yeah datz itz i think thankz mori (i think thats ur name???????? i cant remember names)

[bublegvm]

#38.5

i think this deserves to be archived under my journal tag too tbh. hence the reason this is 38.5 entry.

it’s christmas but eh i don’t celebrate it anyway i’m making this a new year entry. 2022 was, a year. the tt trend abt jan 2022 me talking to dec 2022 me….. nothing drastically crazy but i got a better job and that itself improved 90% of my depression.

idk if i’m happier, exactly but. coping w impulsive buying just random stuff i want, helped A LOT. lol. this year, i grieved but i also celebrate. i often feel nostalgic on what cld have been achieved with my life. but i also celebrate that i get to experience maturity. they said that your frontal lobe fully developed at 25. that’s, absolutely true. i forgot most things from last yr but i noticed that i had too many random realisations this year, at 26. like, sometimes it doesn’t matter. life is too short for some asinine stuff. but your grievance are never stupid. healing isn’t linear and life moves too fast. it’s okay.

i think this entry is more like a self assurance at this point lol but my reason writing these all out is because, i haven’t had any new year’s resolution in so long but, for 2023, i wanna try being happier. i wanna try actively make it better for me, my mental and physical health both. and step one for that is probably, to “put myself out there more”. ik it’s so fucking cliche but idk, maybe that’ll work? the thing is, i get super fucking lonely so easily. but yet i still decline hangout invitation from my acquaintances. as an introvert i get tired, overwhelmed and overstimulated sooooo easily when i socialise but i also desperately want more friends. making friends as an adult introvert is the hardest thing. especially when people your age has achieved a lot. i understand your life is your own, it’s not a race but that doesn’t make it any less lonelier yknow?

also it’s a given, especially on the linked ramble post but yeah. not a resolution per se, but for 2023 i wish i will find a way to move out of this country. and hopefully live with hannie together, finally.

there’s so much more i wanna say but as always, after a long ramble, every main point just evaporates from my brain lol. just wanna point out how different my dec 21 vs dec 22 post. am i in a better place now? nawtttt so sure about that, honestly! every year i’m like, i for sure hope i wont live to see [my age next year] and if i’m being completely frank, it’s not too different w 27? oh i still wish i wont make it to 27 but yknow, if i do anyway, maybe i’ll try living a more fulling life? i’ve tried this shit since 19 anyway and never succeed so idk, trying a new approach for 27 i guess lol.

anywaysssss. 27 yana, if you’re still here and reading this on dec 23, i hope you’re happier and in a so so soooo much better place. and i hope we’ve learned on how to be gentle to ourselves. see ya. or not lol we’ll see (or not).

[tojialways]

u did so good writing last time i submitted smth <3

but consider this. toji always needs a lil money so he starts posting on 0nly Fan$. it starts off w solo videos he takes while thinking abt u. he somehow ends up being one of the top 0.01% of creators (he’s a whore n he loves it). but it’s all thanks to his lil slut. so, he decided to finally let u be included. the videos w u included somehow make him even more popular and have his fans begging u to make ur own account.

for now tho, they’re settle w waiting patiently for toji to post a video w the filthiest titles. oh! here it is “breeding my gfs tight cunt until she’s in tears”

-toji anon (luv u babe)

#TAGS ! … f! afab! reader. NOT PROOFREAD LOL. daddy kink (obvi is it even a tojialways post without daddy toji). praise. breeding. slight begging. dumbification. consensual recording. crying but not as a fetish, reader just cries.

#NOTE ! … ANON U ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAV LETS MAKE OUT LIKE RN. i love u for this ask <333 also sorry i did not know how to end this LMAO

“fuck daddy fuckfuckfuck” you sob, nothing on your mind but the fat cock abusing your poor cunt. it was so big. so deep. so dirty. and yet you needed more, pleas falling from your mouth every single time you heard toji’s low moans echoing off of the walls. your brain was so fuzzy you almost completely forgot the camera pointing at your pleasire ridden face. almost. “smile for the camera baby” toji grins. his request is honestly laughable - you couldn’t even form a word properly. his words barely registered in your absent mind, your mouth opening to reply, but an embarrasingly loud moan fell from your parted lips in its place. “what was that princess?” he teased, your pretty whines making his cock throb. “d-daddy...” your hand flying to your mouth as toji hits a particular spot, “da-daddy please- ‘m gonna..” he chuckles at your meek attempts to simply get a word out. “yeah? gonna cum? gotta look at the camera for me first” your eyes tried to focus but the tears welling in your eyes blocked your vision. “c-can’t... feels so good daddy” you cry out, the sheets in your whitened knuckles. “too good? aw but we’re just getting started gorgeous,” the camera shakes as he readjusts himself so he can rub your swollen little clit with his thumb, “now come on cum for me i know you can do it pretty girl” your heartbeat speeds up and your vision turns from blurry to almost white. “daddy fu-fuck!” you feel your tears dripping from your chin as drool follows. your pussy flutters around toji’s cock as you gush messily over it. he can’t help but let out a low groan at the feeling of your cum coating his dick. “fuuuck that’s it baby god your pussy’s so fucking perfect” he babbles, not even thinking about his own words just focusing on the way your cunt clenches around him. the arousal stirring in his stomach as he felt his orgasm coming. “god princess you’re so beautiful, it would be a shame not to cum in your pretty cunt” he can’t help but spread your legs wider, trying to thrust deeper - he has to feel all of you. “gonna cum baby fuck gotta fucking breed you.. gonna give me some babies aren’t you?” the way your eyes roll back at his sweet words - he can’t help fill you to the fucking brim with his cum. he was right, you were gonna give him some pretty babies.

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[millepara]

CiaoFes post... if there’s any significant news I’ll put it in a tidy tagged post of its own (edit: there was nothing), this is just my stupid liveblog or w/e

I meant to post about ciaofes in the tag but I kept putting it off bc it was so far in the future, and I was so tired, but then suddenly it was today and I was busy and couldn’t watch it till now. whoops.

there’s way too many hours of ciaofes to watch the whole thing even though I do generally like this kind of stuff, so I’m just skipping ahead to the prichan part (first in the lineup... a testament to its greater popularity over aikatsu?? probably.)

oh, what I wouldn’t give for a single one of these five squeaky girls to speak in their normal voice... I can’t tell them apart when they speak at the same time

ok I will admit I’m excited about the mymelo/kuromi prichan id!! literally everything about this season rubs me the wrong way like a cheese grater directly on my skin but this one single thing is cute. gotta try to get a matching set for Biscuit and Milk.

they said they are showing a “special version” of last week’s all-MC performance, but I didn’t see it (beyond gifs on tumblr ofc) so I don’t know what’s special about it.... I’m sorry

AHHH Prima Donna Memorial!! one of my fav songs to sing to myself around the house.... 💖  BUT isn’t this just the same performance as in the pripara/chan movie? (which is... another thing I didn’t see... ;;;; god this makes me sound like I hate pretty series but I swear I don’t, I like it as much as I like aikatsu, I just still have a hard time liking prichan specifically when it’s abt anyone other than Ring Marry or Meltic Star or Oshama Tricks, I guess) anyway if anyone actually reads this and you know the difference between these performances I would be delighted if you’d share your knowledge w me

they’ve brought Pretty Rhythm back to Prism Stone Harajuku. this is just the same news they announced a bit ago though. wish they brought it back to Osaka too (；ω；) I don’t even need a postcard for playing I just want to see Otoha again

breaking news!! there’s a new character coming to prichan...it’s Yui isn’t it. ah yeah it is. but I LOVE Yui so YEAH!!!! YUI!! I MISSED YOU

and the end. now to aikatsu planet!! excited to see literally anything new, any tiny shriveled scrap of new content they deign to throw our way

Narumi (who plays Rose) is so cool. her outfit sucks though (imo)

but no one’s outfit sucks more than Sala’s...... hate that coat. must be a huge pain for whoever has to wash it every time.

lmao all of these girls are in the same big room but there’s a huge lag in btw each of them speaking as if they’re all zooming in. did they practice for this at all. did they practice remotely so now they’re including the lag in the final product 

there’s also a lot of people talking faintly in the background!! my kryptonite... this is agony

now the game pv is playing in the background on top of the distant mumbling and starts/stops and actual on-purpose talking!! this is truly an aural hellscape!!!

(turns the sound up to try to hear starry planet speaking) (gets my eardrums blasted out when they abruptly switch to the hosting crew whose audio is working correctly) there is no love without suffering

the aipura cabinet sure is cute though. I like the glowing border

for god’s sake please give this adult woman a chair to sit in while playing this game instead of making her crouch in front of it like an animal

omg when she (Yumecchi? I should’ve watched the intro lol) did the mirror-in high five, she was like “to think I had this kind of power...” haha that’s so cute

Yumecchi (?), on the idol’s start dresses: “oh, they’re in their underwear” LMAO

yay, they didn’t have to go back to the start dress. that’s nice. though I still do wish that your ability to wear a darn dress in your darn idol performance didn’t depend on making someone else lose (also the entire gimmick of the game, so not something that could possibly be changed before release....)

oh, the other comedian is going to play now. what’s her name. really should’ve watched the intro huh

I hate the word “Bloomy” so much. it sounds like something you cough up into a tissue

they switch back to starry planet, the mic immediately releases a feedback screech

no offense but this meltyhouse bear is so ugly. why does it have hips coming out of its armpits. an abomination

BUT that Ruli illustration is so cute!!!! I can’t wait to see the rest of the characters in that style!! I’d love to know the who the artist is 💕

they switch back to starry planet. Ruli’s actress is talking furiously. not a single sound leaves her mouth. is she... lipsyncing... the ad copy?? my mind flounders for an explanation, finding only this absurd suggestion. seconds later the audio comes back from break and blows my eardrums out again

WHY does brand mascot Meruri.. Melury... Merly...’s plush have its legs sticking up in the air like a cat with an intestinal worm infection

ah yes, that aionpa collab with my fav anime cafe anion that I’ve been bitterly trying to avoid bc they aren’t bringing it to Osaka and obviously I can’t go to it in Tokyo in the middle of an actual pandemic, much less... a cafe. any cafe. excellent.

the Happy Planet performance is just a repeat of the BNP fes one! time to pack up and go home.

so, a recap of what was new: the coord thing hellohimawarihana posted about, the Meltyhouse mascot’s crimes and sins, and the 10 seconds you could see that pink moth critter’s coord at the end of the second aipura playthrough. not much! but something, for sure.

[transrightsjimin]

Tagged by @taejoonies, thank you! <3 my answers r rly boring bc i dont do shit nd talk a lot trying to justify it lol, sorry

last song i listened to: i havent listened to any songs today yet which is unusual but uhm. either shinee - like a fire bc i listened to the misconceptions of you album during work. or if you count videos, i’d say bts dynamite (holiday remix). i like the original song nd acoustic remix but the rest is just... hm ok

last movie i watched: uhhhhhhhhhh. either when i watched Carrie w my friend on the night of halloween or when we watched a David Foster(?) documentary on tv more recently bc he was curious abt that. definitely prefer the former for the cinematography nd revenge against bullies theme though i can’t say i fully like it for how it depicts teenage girl characters in a voyeuristic way. kinda hate how the film ends on a high level of tension nd it gave a lot of stress but strangely enough i slept rly well after having watched it so i’m grateful i did watch it.

currently reading: i do not often read books so uhh... i tried to start reading this illustrated book called ‘psychology - the comic book introduction‘ bc i got it from family a few years ago or maybe a year bc they knew i once briefly had an interest in psychology. the drawing style is kinda ugly nd reminds me of one of an old classmate in art school but it’s at least quite clear. but god i think i only finished the introduction and that’s for a book with PICTURES?? rly need to force myself to put more effort into reading bc i feel like losing braincells every day by not doing anything intellectually stimulating or challenging. uhm i also try to read more of leftist / antiracist articles recently beyond headlines nd that’s going a bit better but it gets overwhelming when ive got like 20 tabs open nd then save the pages nd forget to ever look back at them.

currently working on: absolutely nothing bc im overwhelmed. uhh as in fun stuff, i started on my bts music database thingy as a personal project. also this post i guess bc ive been typing for like an hour now

currently playing: ?? as in games? i dont play video games? as in music, spotify is playing a BE streaming playlist but the tab is muted bc im overwhelmed. uhh. yeah. my head is playing short parts of shinee - ‘like a fire‘ and ‘aside‘ interchangably bc they’re one after another on the album but i can’t imagine a whole song when it’s stuck in my head so it just cuts from like a fire chorus to the instrumental opening of aside.

I tag: @baepsrae @trespassers-will @princeshojo @yeonjunicorn uhm im stopping my post here before im trying to look up urls for another hour

[alukaforyou]

and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.

its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.

and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....

ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??

[hua-fei-hua]

almost 15 min till midnight but trivia for the Bb oneshots pls~

WOOHOO

these works are actually why “alternate universe - marching band” is one of my top ten additional tags on my ao3

three cents shy

three cents shy was published the night before i went on tour with band as a junior

i did not double check the final posting before leaving, so when i came back four days later, i found out that a rare character i used counted as an emoji, and like most of the last scene was cut off and man i was embarrassed 

i actually don’t really reread this fic bc well, it’s an older fic the self-improvement since then is glaring and bc of aforementioned embarrassing memory but god i’m having feels now 

there’s a bit in three cents where momo’s practicing the flute, and she lists off the notes in her head while counting. 

the notes she listed off were part of a real song i played on the piano that actually might come back as a chapter title later on in the series

it’s an anime song but i translated those lyrics myself 3.5?? years ago in english class dammit

the rhythm, however, was taken from one of our festival pieces from my sophomore year that the flutes always had trouble with

i got a review on ff.net on three cents from a girl who played the flute whose boyfriend played the trumpet telling me how much she loved the fic bc it was about her otp and they played the same instruments as her and her bf, and honestly i still think abt that sometimes. how is flute girl doing i wonder

she also said she’d wait forever until more of the series came out so again i wonder how flute girl is doing

three cents shy was initially titled without you, life would Bb, which would have also been a pun on momo’s flute being flat

obviously, the title changed when i realized i could MAKE THIS INTO A    S E R I E S

three cents is also the only fic in the series w/o a very clear musical pun on it; it only makes sense if you read the fic

oh dear god i forgot abt the bit in here where it said kyouka got her soulmate to stop being a dumbass by playing nothing but the pink panther theme on loop for a week AHAHA

and that’s how she lost her chance at the sax solo freshman year she was too busy badly playing the pink panther theme lol

todoroki’s not actually the type of person to gravitate towards the trumpet; i just picked tpt for him bc i like boys who play the trumpet LMAO

fucking sue me man

besides, there’s always the exceptions to the rule; instrument stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason but they’re usually spot fucking on

i had hardly started chapter six of orchid when i wrote three cents: you can actually see the starting struggles of that chapter a few pages before you get to like eight solid pages of just working on three cents in my tiny notebook lol

“‘we made good progress today but remember…’ ‘there’s always room for improvement’ the band teased. some memes died hard.” is actually lifted straight from my own band

we memed hard on one of our drum majors for always saying “we made good progress today but remember, there’s always room for improvement!!” since he got the job

kyouka going c” in her texts is smth that i habitually use instead of winking like c; in texts w/friends bc even though i don’t know the inside joke that had some of my other friends start using it, it carries these different, more smug connotations to it in my mind that can’t be encapsulated w/either c: or c;

three cents shy as an idea/fanfiction pitch actually came after paper faces

kyouka’s name in momo’s phone was originally 𝓴𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓴𝓪𝓷𝓾𝓽, but was changed to normal lettered “kyoukanut” bc of the aforementioned rare-character problem that embarrassed me when first posting this to ao3 lol

kyouka having the nickname kyoukanut is actually bc i’d just left the snk fandom, and they had this one joke on one of the characters looking like a coconut, so i think that was just fresh in my mind and i was like “ah yes i should make a coconut joke out of kyouka’s name” and now it’s just my go-to dumb phone name for her in fics 

three cents is the only prequel oneshot; all the others happen concurrently to or after music of the moment

we actually don’t get wifi signal in our practice rooms unless we’re very lucky, which is a detail you’ll see more often in moment

fermata

i started fermata on the bus while on tour in my tiny notebook, though i was mostly thinking abt a krbk love, simon au which i really do still have a lot written out for it’s just that whenever i reach the end of that doc i’m immediately stuck as to how to connect it to some of the other good chunks i have

my friend sitting in front of me asked me what i wrote in my tiny notebooks as i was doing so, and i was like “mostly fanfiction” and she was like “idk what i was expecting but definitely not that”

fermata is also the one and only fic i’ve ever posted where when i finished responding to one comment, two more came into my inbox

fermata is actually my most popular ao3 oneshot. not just among my bnha oneshots, my most popular ao3 oneshot

still chasing that high tbh

i mean rereading it i can understand its popularity. it’s definitely very self-indulgent lol

i wrote both these oneshots before i started encrypting the names in the fanfic written in my tiny notebook, so if i posted pictures they’d actually be entirely readable lol

fermata was written during my self-imposed fanfiction exile in my junior year when i was studying for ap chem, and there are comments on it from when i came back a month later that i just. never responded to and still feel bad abt lol

bakugou was initially supposed to be a trumpet player in this au, but then we got the cultural festival arc at around this time so we were like “oh i guess he’s in percussion now”

the line “We the players are expendables and mean nothing in comparison to our several-thousand-dollar instruments” is a real thing our drum majors and (old) band director told us as a joke

“didn’t she get mad at you for getting water all over her drumset last year?” is actually referencing smth that was supposed to happen in moment, but due to story changes is probably not gonna happen 

which basically means it’s almost definitely not gonna be shown :c

i might have to retcon little bits of this one due to a major plot point that’ll come up later in the multichap, but it’s not in need of a rewrite like ty for the music bc it’s one of those subtle details that gets revealed and recontextualizes some previous happenings

“fifty push-ups is not a reasonable punishment for dropping the baton”

1. this is a real thing that happened to our clumsy drum major, but with five push ups

2. like a year after publishing this fic i found out that there are two DIFFERENT sticks that drum majors twirl: one’s a baton, which is smaller and easier to twirl; the other’s a mace, which i’m pretty sure is just a bigger, heavier baton, but it takes far more skill to twirl

anyway i actually got a comment on ao3 from a person saying that their band’s drum major just had really reflective gloves and didn’t get to do anything as cool as twirling a stick and i still think about that sometimes tbh

“fuck you and your two hundred dollar mallets too” bc drumsticks are like ten bucks but a pair of timpani mallets are for whatever reason like two hundred dollars

this fic is probably the first time i ever referred to bkg by his first name, and reading it actually feels kinda weird to me rn lol

the only reason fermata is rated t is bc (you guessed it) bakugou katsuki swears a lot, but also, jirou gets to say fuck

i put a little fermata into the document title of the google doc just bc 

c:

thank you for the music

you obvs already know this went under a complete rewrite recently so maybe this’ll be a mix of trivia abt the rewrite and the original so we’ll see

this was named after an abba song bc abba slaps and was mostly titled such bc it was meant to be the last part of Bb chronologically

the fact that it’s the name of a oneshot in the series means that i don’t get to use it as a chapter title during moment tho >:C

this was also my first time writing izch and remained my only izch oneshot until legato lol

i don’t remember how long it took for me to write the original version, but the second version came out all in one day i think

both versions were written entirely in onenote and then copy-pasted into google docs afterwards

i feel like you know most of the trivia abt this one already like how it was rewritten bc i needed to retcon the ending where ochako did the soulmate reveal bc w/the new quirklessness parallel deku can’t hear the thing

this is my first published instance of eri, and i have to say published instead of writing here bc i’d written her into moment before writing her in the rewrite here lol

yeah she was mentioned in the original one but that doesn’t count she didn’t show up or say anything

she shows up in moment chapter four, just as an extra trivia fact

this was actually a semi-obligatory oneshot bc at the time of first publishing, i was like “i have four favorite bnha ships that i want to actively write fic for, and we have smth for the first three, so i guess i need to write one for the fourth one too”

not a trivia bit abt any of my fics, but i actually call the four aforementioned fave ships (tdmm, kmjr, krbk, n izch) “the usual convoy” where i like to write oneshots featuring them n if i can fit them into my story i’m gonna do it

and then i have a few more for a total of btwn seven n nine ships that i call “the extended convoy” (so like three to five beyond the usual) where i don’t usually have plans to have them star in any fics, but if i can fit them into the bg, be mentioned in passing, or just have an idea that can accommodate a large cast/number of ships, i have a few extra go-to extras

legato

no idea where the idea of this came from. i was just sitting around literally two weeks ago, thinking abt Bb, thinking abt izch as dat good ol bffs to lovers dynamic, thinking abt some fun shitty headcanons/worldbuilding for the au, and then i guess they all came together and i was overcome by an immediate urge to write this

honestly it probably just came from me thinking of old choir warm ups hahaha

i think abt Bb a lot these days so that would make a lot of sense

yeah legato’s existence technically ruins the joke for ty for the music’s title but i love the way it turned out???

it’s the only Bb oneshot so far to have not come out in 2018

what this means is that basically i took a series that’s over two years old and suddenly gave it new, unplanned content

that being said, it’s the only Bb oneshot to be fully compliant with the overhauled plot and details of music of the moment upon first publishing

the ice cream parlor izch hangs out in is run by sir nighteye, and it’s called the night eye’s scream as a really really bad pun

unlike most locations in this au, the ice cream parlor does not have a real world counterpart

technically, neither does the park, but the park at least draws from a bunch of different parks i’ve been to and hung out in

the reason ochako mentions she really likes the music in the shop is bc there’s this one worldbuilding detail i came up w/a while ago that shops and cafes often like to have unique songs that will occasionally play in their locations so that if you have a soulmate who works there or just hangs out there a lot, you can easily track them down

we actually played a piece called “baroque hoedown” for our winter concert in my senior year, and it really was fucking hell, as mentioned in legato

i mentioned this in the a/n, but the reason it’s titled legato is bc it’s supposed to reflect the smooth, seamless transition btwn friends and lovers for izch

i remember sitting down and writing this and thinking, “what should iida’s ringtone be?” and then realizing that they are modern american teenagers in this au and any meme i can think of goes, and ochako would probably be the memelord of the three of them (of the dekusquad todoroki is obviously the biggest memelord behind closed doors), so i was like “SONIC FUCKING X THEME”

all the songs that deku plays for ochako to figure out are all pep tunes from my time in marching band, which is why they’re so mish-mash and random

the bit where ochako says “it’s the milf song” (n then deku’s like “that’s not the first time you’ve called smth the milf song”) is referencing a bit of joke dialogue that’ll probably not make it into moment, but will almost definitely appear another oneshot

i also had no idea that stacy’s mom was a milf song and made the terrible decision of going against my section leader’s recommendation to not look it up and heard the lyrics and was like “oh no :(”

legato is the only Bb work so far to not include the tag “alternate universe - marching bang” bc it doesn’t include enough of band to warrant that tag; hence why it’s tagged under “alternate universe - musicians”

i say so far bc i had a very cute ojtr idea for this au where tooru stars in the spring musical, and they’d probably get tagged under “alternate universe - theater/musicals” or smth. idk if i’ll write that bc i haven’t had stage acting experience in a long time, but it’ll be alluded to during moment

i had a very strong vision for what i wanted in this fic, which is probably why it came out with me feeling very satisfied w/it compared to ty for the music, which like i mentioned earlier was initially written out of lowkey obligation

legato had a lot more direction and knew what it wanted to be, whereas ty for the music was just kinda like “and then this happened lol”

legato is currently the only fic i have on ao3 that i didn’t cross-post to ff.net

dunno why, i just had a bad feeling abt doing that, so i left the first edition of ty for the music up on ff.net and made legato an ao3 exclusive

i previously had fics up on ff.net that i never cross-posted to ao3, and i still have some of those up (see: nineteen snk fics on ff.net vs. seventeen (two hidden under the anonymous collection) on ao3), but this was my first time doing it the other way around

this was the only fic i’ve ever gifted on a whim (bc i felt you’d really like it) and not bc someone told me i should write more fanfiction and i was like “yeah i should” and then gifting them the thing when it was written

[lemonicedtease]

i'm a new simblr! do you have any tips for starting out? :)

aaa i’m so flattered you’re asking me this??? thanks for this question!!

have !! fun ! I can’t tell u how necessary it is to actually enjoy having ur simblr bc i’ve often seen people feel like they just have to churn out content to please their followers and then they burn out and stop enjoying the game :(( so when you’re thinking of things to play and post, think about what you’re gonna enjoy making, esp if it’s something like a legacy/story that you might want to keep up for a long time!

engage! try to follow a large variety of simblrs that u rly like and engage w the content they’re putting out, it’s a nice way to start friendships and feel like you’re a part of the community. 

make things!!!!! whether it’s sims, lookbooks, lots, stories, custom content - unleash ur creativity and find out what u love to make and just go for it!! make sure you use tags so that people can find your posts. it’s what i love abt having a simblr, bc back when i had a regular old tumblr i would just reblog things and nothing was ever mine?? but now my blog is 90% stuff i’ve created and idk i just love that feeling???

also, engage when u make things, like tag creators if u use their cc, take part in challenges and tag who made it - it’s a great way to get involved and often get recognition and support from these ppl too!!

learn things!!!!! i have learnt so much about CC creation and photo editing in the last few months. ofc, these things aren’t essential to having a simblr, but a personal thing for me is making sure i am happy w like the edit quality + maintining an aesthetic etc. i’m still no expert and ofc still make shitty edits lol but it’s all a learning process!! with whatever you end up posting, expect it to change and grow as you learn things!!

don’t worry about the numbers too much ofc gaining followers is just a natural part of simblr, and ofc it’s amazing to feel like you have a group of engaged ppl supporting u - just don’t get too hung up on the numbers!! followers will come naturally over time (esp if you are regularly making content and tagging it appropriately!!), so don’t let it deter you in the beginning. 

a bit of a weird one, but find when works for you to post?? timezones can b a bitch lol and i know that if i post like midday uk time basically no one sees my posts lol rip 3 so find a good PEAK TIME and utilise timezone reblogs, if u want!!

I HOPE THESE WERE KINDA USEFUL IDK i feel very unqualified to be giving advice on this alskdjalsdjk

[unproduciblesmackdown]

@uberoll-oystercrackers late night (early morning?) posting here but this is super nice ty and also again retroactively thank you additionally for all the long replies & kind tags you give

like really yeah it’s like, on the one hand, it’s fairly sucky having to have this thing where im always jumping the gun on considering someone Maybe An Friend and then having to remind myself / be reminded of the fact that like no probably not, which is true and yet sucks, which is just how some stuff is!! like sometimes stuff just is Not Good and is not ever going to Not Hurt, despite the fact you can kinda get better at living with it. and like this one isnt a huge deal even tho the larger problem of when ur like, lonely &/or isolated is kind of a whole real deal……

like it’s strange having these contradictory problems with it…..like, Being Myself has never really just been something i can Naturally do, so even just trying to be nice is like oh lord am i being ~manipulative~, and im always too prone to treat interactions like ive got to placate the other person, and then also just like….not having amazing social skills anyways in the sense that i know a lot of times i come across ~off~ to people and can’t really do a lot about that, but also, i feel like i’m always overcompensating for like, enthusiasm and just the fact i like to Get Silly and maybe i’ll act too cool~n~collected or come off like im trying to be all Smart and Smarmy and like jeez no……it doesnt help that when i was younger i generally preferred interacting with adults and so probably was trying to come across as clever and when i was wanting someone to like me i’d be real nervous and try to go too hard in seeming the opposite lol……oh the legacy of the time i found out my mom’s childhood friend who was funny and cool to us thought i was bookish (true) but like also snobby or something lmao like ah jeez i probably made too many sarcastic jokes about things….but oh well i was just like 10-ish at the time.

anyways tho i feel like that still kicks in and when i get the sense someone is cool and it’d be cool if they thought i was cool too i’m like Well So Then i gotta PLAY it cool!! and then like oh no am i coming across as a jerk? or an trying-to-be-an-intellectual?? i always have a lot of thoughts and i do go off when its like, also tied in to Opinions of mine, so im like, oh no am i coming across as trying to tell someone i think they should think exactly this?? or if i try to Be Witty and Tell Jokes are they just coming off as snarky b/c i hope not especially since a lot of times my actual Lighthearted Snark gets read as “i hate this and think its dumb af” lol. ahhhh i just do not know!! like, i wanna sort of dial back my Warmth b/c i can get enthused fast and i have a tendency to get too attached to ppl too fast, which really only sucks for me, but still!! yet i dont wanna rein it in too much and try to overcompensate and come off like im Eternally Unimpressed and don’t really care and etc etc and just…..idk its wild it’s hard to tell how i may be socializing awkwardly lmao ahhh….and on top of it all, i manage to be godawful at realizing when other ppl actually like me. like, that sort of sounds like The Opposite but i guess its just more of that problem of thinking that im going to always bother people….a lot of times it takes me like, months or a year (or two or three) to realize that someone who willingly interacts w me during that time probably does genuinely like me and is maybe a friend. wrow

uhhhh anyways lord that was all just. tangentially related. im Tangents

UH more to the point!!!! the good news is that yeah i don’t have to think “oh we’re totally real bffs” about anyone to really enjoy and appreciate Our Interactions…..and like i do have real appreciation and gratitude for basically all nice attention lol like, if a single reblog of smthing has kind comments, if someone cool just Likes a few posts, talking on occasion or like, ever at all. cuz for real The Little Stuff has always been a really good thing for years now, especially since there’s been plenty of times i havent really had anything happening In Person that was like….good interactions or ppl who were able to hear my actual thoughts and feelings about whatever and still be interested in interacting with me. cuz in terms of not being isolated and in what i find it easy to talk about and how, Online Interactions have been genuinely important and impactful in a positive way for like a solid decade now since i was able to be consistently Online and have my own accounts and stuff in the first place

so like yeah totally i really do appreciate stuff like that. i think its pretty incredible whenever anybody just like, thinks of me, and likes me. having None Of That Feeling is supremely trash and i so appreciate that i don’t have to feel like there’s nothing and that nobody out there in the world is aware of me, and yet i don’t need it to be that like, anyone is Constantly aware of me and like, intensely invested, cuz that’s just not how it goes lol and even kinda meaning a little bit to someone and having my tiny presence in their life be a positive one is a great thought and i really do appreciate it. Unfortunately for like….my entire life, The Contempt Of Others has been a consistent #thing i’m dealing with and it’s not great!! like yeah fortunately ive had the “felt so bad about myself that it eventually circled back around and now self loathing isnt too much of an issue for me” thing, but it still sucks experiencing it lol…..having any testimonials that like, whatever shit im talking about @ myself is fun to read, or i seem okay, or its fun to talk, etc etc, like thats fantastic really

and the kinds of leaf thoughts too, yeah, that kind of thing is nice to know too lol. i was hoping you were ok like, ten hours before i saw you posting again lol…..we’re out here……..

like yeah ldmbgglh whatever my weird problems are with being overexcited abt any Potential Friendship, and also being bad at realizing if people do like me, and also just being Weird and not great at talking, and overcompensating for whatever and maybe coming across too Coldly when rly im a fiery dumbass, wanting friends but also wanting not to be burned by getting ahead of things and being reminded that most ppl aren’t like, as starved for even just friendly interactions……..i’m better at navigating and handling it in some ways but c’est a m’ess!!! aaaggbfg

really what im trying to say is i do appreciate that sort of thing a lot yeah. i could very well Not be thought of by anybody and that would suck and the fact that i get to know that i am is a really great thing. maybe i couldve said this all better last night cuz i was kinda in my feelings abt Life a little but then also it was in a sort of déspresso way so, maybe this is okay lol….

also i worry i don’t express affection and appreciation enough!!! it’s not that i’m like Oh i don’t want to Commit to Being Friends ew…..it’s that i don’t wanna be the one pressuring someone else into being like uh oh i have to play up being invested in milo!! but then maybe my playing-it-cool just makes other ppl do the same thing or think i don’t care or something. like oh i appreciate this person a ton and think they’re great and they’ve been kind to me but if we only talk so often and obviously im not There for them and involved in their life in the way a ~real friend~ would be, maybe it would just ring hollow to say i love them, for example. lord lol……. it’s all “oh don’t dial down your kindness and affection” and yet also “but don’t wanna inadvertently push other people or Be Weird or get myself invested in something where i don’t mean as much to the other person not cuz they suck but because like, of course im just a fun internet acquaintance, which is fine!!” ahhhhhh the challenges. anyways!!!!!!!

the point is well i do like ppl yeah and i really appreciate ppl liking me. every now and then they do it online or even in person and thats just a Joy and i wish things were more secure!!! i also have to not even necessarily want ppl to get invested in me in case things go to shit too soon or whatever and it doesnt help that ~being open~ means talking abt depressingass stuff sometimes that like, i don’t mind being open about, but i also don’t want to put on other ppl. which, sidenote on that, im feeling relatively alright all these recent months even if im not technically thriving; it’s okay. it’s a hot mess! but that’s just How It Is sometimes!! it’s what it is. and ive had support from ppl in big and small ways that i know i could have had to go without and all the ways ppl are nice to me count for a whole lot and i have appreciated it, and do appreciate it, and will continue to appreciate it.

tldr 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[myblacknightworld]

21 questions

Tagged by @luce-verde, oh dear! Finally you tagged me yay! !Ahhh I’ve lived to see the day this really happened!!! I’m so lucky! (sorry for the tease)

Rules: answer twenty-one questions and tag twenty-one people

AHAHAHAAHAH!!! THERE’S REALLY SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO THINKS I KNOW THAT MANY PEOPLE, I’M CACKLING!!! So, like my dear friend @luce-verde told us all when she tagged me here, I’m not gonna pretend I know that many people, but I do have the intention of tagging some friends I have here :)))) Namely @livehorses (hey I’m back just because today I’m on a break from studying, but I’ll tell you better on Discord <3), @ilkiwer (know you ain’t here for these silly games, but I’ll boldly ignore that and tag you anyway), @reflected-reflection (hey! Long time no see, hope you’re okay <3). And of course I’d tag luce-verde, but she beat me on this and tagged me, agghhh!!

Nicknames: I have a range of nicks that started in elementary school, and some I disliked back then but now love, like one based on my surname, and the one I get called the most is my name’s short version. And don’t get me started on what my parents call me. It’s embarassing.

Zodiac: Capricorn

Height: 1.69 last time I measured (and it was about five months ago. For the record nothing changed from last year, I’ve stopped growing in height it seems). I don’t know what’s in the American measure system, so I’ll search it. It’s 5.6 and something.

Hogwarts house: Proud Slytherin here

Last thing I googled: Converting your height in feets

Fave musicians: Well.... I have like so many?????? I can’t decide, aggghhhh!!!!! I might as well skip this one? If you’re interested in a long list, send a message :)

Song stuck in your head: “Rockabye” by Clean Bandit, but soemtimes it changes to “Another One Bites the Dust“ (I love Queen).

Following: Lots of blogs I follow I follow for the fandom, then I follow people I think are funny (like I follow one guy who posts lots of funny things) and blogs that reflects my interests.

Followers: I have some friends who follow me, friends I have irl, I mean. But they’re like four people, Then, I dunno how I got all the other followers, I have some who became great friends (@livehorses​, @watcher-evervigilant I’m talking about you <3)

Do you get asks: Never got one, but I got messages tho. Does that count?

Amount of sleep: Uh? Rn that I’m studying for exams I think I sleep abt seven or six hours, when it was school period I slept sometimes about seven hours sometimes abt five (I had things to study, okay?) and probably when holidays will truly start, namely after I finish these goddamn exams, I’ll be sleeping about five hours again? Because I’ll stay up late at night catching up w tv series, animes, mangas, movies and books. (I’m downloading those like there’s no tomorrow exactly bc I plan to do just that at night when I don’t have wifi lol)

Lucky number: 3 or 7, I’m not sure. I also consider 14 a lucky number (not that it ever worked lol. Also, what kind of stupid question is this????)

What are you wearing: Right now? White t-shirt with blue anchors and dark blue shorts

Dream jobs: Translator, and please, don’t ask me anything abt this bc I had to write down about this for school and I still am offended by it.

Instruments: Oh! Oh!! This I like! This I really like!!! So, I play the flute and the piccolo, I can also play a little the trumpet and sometimes I enjoy myself with a recorder. That one time I tried to learn the guitar I broke a chord. Also I wanna learn piano and I can play one simple song on it (the start of Carols of the bells, for the record. For the record! Ah! Did you get it??? A recorder? For the record?)

Languages: Italian, English, Spanish, a lil bit of German, and I can read and understand spoken and written French, but my speaking skills are far behind what I’d like them to be. Can also understand Portuguese, but can’t speak it for the love of God.

Favourite songs: Same as fave musicians. I have too many lol

Random fact: I really love crime and mystery novels, like I’m a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes (Detective Conan w Shinichi Kudou anyone? It’s why I like that anime/manga so much, even tho it’s not my fave. Oops, two random facts. Meh, it’s okay)

Aesthetic: What? Just- what? If I really have too, mmmhhh, maybe a map of the world, books, a pen on a written papersheet, a music sheet and wild nature? Like, I really dunno. I’m trying, be kind!

[minblush]

k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

[petergender]

finally rested up from the nonstop con run, so here’s my pictures!!!

con highlights:

-guy on the street serenaded me with the spiderman theme on his ukulele in Chinatown (a real tobey maguire throwback)

-tiny captain phasma (girl was INTO IT, she was like 4 but Mighty and Terrifying)

-SO many little kids just staring up into my face like :0 and then whispering (or yelling) “hi spiderman” 

-one dad of those little boys asked me where I got my costume (he actually approached me while I was sitting down and I was rlly happy abt it bc ppl don’t usually do that!!!), and true to peter parker I got to say “I made it myself!!!” so ty random dad for validating me, and I hope ur little guy gets his costume made for next yr!!!

-one kid looked me in the eye, deadly serious, and flipped me the spidey sign and I honestly dont know if it was a threat or a gesture of solidarity. Kudos, kid, I’m very scared of you.

-I saw a kid dressed up as miles morales and I gotta be honest I was rlly hoping he or his dad would ask to take a pic w me bc his costume was Spot On, but I didn’t wanna ask kids for pictures in case they were shy

-one little boy had the plastic mask and silly string webshooters and his dad lifted him up so he could see me and he waved v slowly cause he was lookin at a Full Size Spidey and it was rlly wholesome that dad was So Pumped to see me.

-one kid just fuckin LOST IT when he saw me, like straight up staring at me In Awe, and I’m ngl, that really made my Whole Life, I felt like I rlly was spiderman

-EVERY Deadpool I ran into was nothing but cool and respectful, and I was honestly a little nervous going in, so thanks to all of you who managed to stay in character and not cross the line cause u did a Stellar Job 

-there was this one Thor and he was there all three days I was and I stg he always had a little plastic beer cup in his hand and I saw him drinking it but it was always full???? 

-I yelled “mr. stark!!!!” Every Time I saw an iron man cosplay to get their attention for a picture (I hope they were amused, I rlly tried)

-spEAKING OF IRON MAN that first guys costume was the Coolest Shit I Have Ever Seen In My Life, his mask flipped up like on command??? mr stark??? hook me up blease??!!

-I had the Actual Backpack and no one commented on it but it made my whole experience 2000 times better

-got to ride public transit in a full spiderman costume???? wow 11/10 experience 

-saw a J Jonah Jamesson and when he saw me he just yelled “MENACE!!!!”

-a guy dressed as green goblin saw me and said (in the low scary voice and eveyrthing) ““really??? you know no one like spiderman!” and I was cackling

-got to see the lotr panel???? so wild

-also the last quarter of the justice league panel, Ezra miller and ray fisher are both Delights

-flipped off some protestors from the west boro Baptist church (only after they verbally attacked my family personally, which was super gross and I hope they fall off the Ben Franklin bridge!!!) but it was rlly a freeing experience flipping them off in full spidey costume 

-A LIVE BAND PLAYING THE GOTG SOUNDTRACK WHEN WE WALKED IN ON FRIDAY????

-and oh my god the parade-like line on Saturday, that was amazing

-a dumbish thing, but no one looked at me and said “:0 spidergirl!!!” Like everyone called me spider m a n, they rlly knew I was tryna b peter parker and it felt good ngl

-this one girl filming on the balcony above the escalator (I genuinely didn’t notice she was waving at me for a long time but it made my Entire Day when I realized she was???? @mystery girl where r u hmu w that vid) was So Happy to see me??? wow. 

-oh and every now and then??? ppl just Snappin Pics. Not even asking to take a picture w me, just takin em, I Love It I hope I get to see some of them online sometime 

-oh and I Love when I was an absolute moron and ppl had to ask me like 4 separate times for a picture bc I had No peripheral vision and two layers of fabric over my ears (every time I told my family to wait up they just said “lol use ur spidey senses” and Id be more mad if it wasn’t so funny)

-wildly, i was actually one of the Only girls I saw dressed up as spiderman, and it kinda made me feel good for no reason??? Especially since no one treated me differently than the boys dressed up as spidey idk. (that being said, every girl I saw dressed up as spidey added 10 yrs to my lifespan)

-saw a star Lord carrying a sign that just said “sorry guys”, and the other side said “justice for Gamora” and I’m fuckin dhdndns

-every friend group dressed as the guardians really made my Whole Day

-group of four guys dressed up as the anchormen, all walking in formation. I tried to get a picture w them but I stg they just fucking disappeared after passing behind a pillar and I never saw them again

-I probably actually seemed a lot like peter parker to everyone because I just started jumping up and down and gasping every time I saw a Single Avenger, I was really just losing my fucking mind

-dressing up as your favorite superhero really does improve ur quality of life

-not a highlight but For Real If u dress up as spiderman I’m begging you to drink water and take off the damn mask when you can bc holy shit I went home after each day and just Died Immediately, please take care of urself lol

-if you recognize me and have pic PLEASE tag me in them, I’m a hoe and love seeing myself lmao (and if you see yourself, hmu and I’ll tag you in the post if you want!!!)

[uniformbravo]

me trying to make a gif part 2 (thrilling finale, buildup ver.)

ok good news and bad news: good news being withheld for Spoilers (not that it’s that hard to guess anyway lol), bad news explained first bc, chronologically, it is first

so yesterday i mentioned in the tags of that post that i had seen that krita has an animation feature so i was gonna try importing the frames into that and then exporting it as a gif. easier said than done, as it turns out

i started by opening the file i made yesterday with 62 layers as the frames and importing that into krita, which worked fine (i didn’t know you could actually open .psd files in clip stuido ((this typo is so fucking stupid it made me laugh so im leaving it)) and krita, so that’s pretty neat, i wonder if it works the other way around too) but i ran into problems when i tried to convert those layers into frames in an animation. because, like, the layout of the program has the layers displayed in one tab, and the animation timeline in another, like so:

(do u like how im using pictures now, i thought of that yesterday after i published the other post and realized hey, visual reference would probably make my plight a lot easier to understand!! so enjoy these educational diagrams from now on)

so my goal was to get the frames from the layers into the timeline, and i still don’t know if i did it right bc lbr krita is not very intuitive at all,,.,, i mean i watched a video tutorial abt how to animate in krita which was v helpful (it’s the one by jesse j james on yt fuckin SHout out) but it was about animating from scratch, not importing an animation you’ve already done elsewhere

so like, the way krita’s animation thing works, from what i could piece together as i bumbled my way around w/ it, is that each layer in the layers tab is a separate timeline in the,,, timeline tab

i want them all to be in the same timeline, not separate ones, and there’s no way to combine them in the timeline tab bc doing that just overwrites whatever layer you’re pasting it down onto, and also if you define the number of frames for that timeline (62 for this project) it just puts the single image of that layer for all of the frames instead of just one of them, so you’d have to go through and delete all the other frames you don’t want it to be, which would be such a fuckin pain

so i found a workaround, which is so tedious that it can’t be the right way to do it, but basically i started w/ layer 1 and defined 62 frames & then emptied frames 2-62, like this

(that blue box is the frame, btw, even tho it says 0, which actually kind of annoys me like why doesn’t it start the first frame on 1????)

from there i went up to layer two and selected that in the timeline, but for some reason the frame doesn’t show up automatically?

& i couldnt fuckin figure out how to make it into like, an Official Timeline Layer or whatever tf bc like, u see on layer 1 how theres that little lightbulb-looking icon on the right? that’s for turning on onion skin which only applies when you actually have frames with things drawn on them, so basically layer 2 in the layers tab has a drawing but in the timeline it doesn’t?

i didn’t find out what the actual reason for this is or how you’re /supposed/ to make the frame appear in the timeline, but what i did was right click on layer 2′s timeline & select “create blank frame” which magically made the frame i want appear

but it’s on top of the layer 1 frame, and i want it to be the frame after. also it’s still in a different timeline. this is the only easy fix in this whole damn process, u can literally just click & drag the frame from layer 2 to layer 1 and put it wherever u want on the timeline

and then u just delete layer 2 and that’s it, frame transferred!! then i just had to do that for 60 more layers and after [unspecified amount of time but it was a fuckin while ok] my timeline looked like this!

(the gaps near the end are held frames, to save me time so i didn’t have to copy a bunch of frames that were exactly the same)

krita is great because as far as i know ur animation can have an unlimited number of frames, at the risk of your own pc’s processing power, which is a definite upside to SOME expensive art programs i know (clip studio, i’m talking abt csp) and u can pick the frame rate too (cough photoshop elements 5.0 even tho u dont technically have an animation feature & it’s a miracle u can even make gifs at all) so once i finally got all the frames situated all nice and in order like on the same timeline, playing it was great! played at the right speed, looped perfectly, it was a dream come true right

well, time to export it as a gif

ha

haha

hoooo oo  o

so u got 2 options for exporting ur animation, u can either hit “export,” which lets u save it as different file types, one of which being gif, or you can hit “render,” which gives you gif and video options

well

i tried export first, bc that seemed like a good idea, but the “””gif””” it made was distinctly not a gif, despite its claim to be one?? this is what i got:

notice: 1. it is not moving, and 2. the black bars to the sides?? those are supposed to be transparent. they’re transparent in the file i made so why didn’t they register as transparent in the export, when gifs have transparency capabilities??

so That was some real live bullshit but i still had the “render” option, right? export was wrong, so rrender must be the correct option to go to that will produce the results i am wanting to see produced in front of me like a silver dinner platter with a correctly functioning gif under the lid, that’s what i want to see and “Render Animation...” is gonna Give me that silver platter righWRONG ok look at this shit rn ok Look

it says GIF it says it RIGHT THERE right??? right?????? then WHY

?????????????

and it also gave me all This bullshit

like did i ask?? did i fucking ask???? i already have all the individual frames why do i need even M o re i mfjgjgk

((rationally ok yea thats v useful for if ur making the animation in krita and want to export the frames to use elsewhere, but like uhhh 1. again, they’re not transparent & 2. i should have the option of saying i don’t want these??? bc *meme voice* i don’t want these)

so in the end i could find NO correct method of exporting animations as a gif in krita bc every ooption that says gif is fuckign LYING to ur face there are NO gifs in krita, aliens made the progam who looked at gifs and went “hmm i thikng this is how a gif works “ and just made jpegs instead but somehow got on the computers good side and got it to lie for them about it being a gif so thats why it says gif on the file still even tho its not a gif illimati confinr

so what is the conclusion to this? well i said there was good news too, and this is the portion where i divulge that sweet nectar (i type dthis 2 seconds ago and @ me what the fuck)

so after wasting a good 2 hours trying to figure out krita i gave up and watched some good old [youtuber name redacted bc what if it shows up in search & ppl see this dumbass post in there but it rhymes with fjackfsepticfeye] to relax into accepting my fate that i’ll never be able to upload my animations to tungle except in poor quality loopless video form, making me into a laughing stock on my own art blog, but THEN i had a stroke of genius, in my Brain

so if u read yesterday’s post u might remember that flipnote studio, the animation program i use on my ds, to animate, has the option to export files as gifs, both animated and sequential (meaning either as one fully animated gif or each individual frame separately), which is super convenient, but as i mentioned yesterday, any time i tried to open the folder with those files on my laptop, it crashed immediately

WELL today i thought “hey, how about instead of opening the folder in the sd card when it’s plugged in, how about i copy that folder from the sd card to my flash drive, and try to open it there, in case it’s the card’s hardware that’s causing the problem, not corrupted files”

so i tried that and it FUCKING WORKED THANK GOD GLORY HALLELUJAH

so now instead of spedning A THOUSAND YEARS trying and failing to force art programs to bend to my will i can just export the animations straight from my ds and drag them onto my computer Just As God Intended oh GOD im so fucking happy

here’s the gif in the end, i’m gonna post it to my art blog too but this is the Green Version bc i animate in green bc of some default settings in flipnote that i got used to, plus it makes me feel like i’m just sketching so nothing really has to be finalized so i’m comfortable while i work, and also it’s just nice ok it’s a Nice Green

(there’s a few frames at the end that are like the extra scraps from while i was working dw i got rid of those in the final version that i’m posting to my art blog later. also i added my blog url to that one too it’s aaaaaall good)

the only downside to this method is that i can’t change the canvas size to be 540px wide to fit with tumbrl s image dimensions but whatever i can just post them in a text post and fix the html to display it at its original size instead of the resizing bullshit tmurbl pulls constantly ugh. anyway it works great on desktop but it’s inevitably gonna look like shit on mobile no matter what i do *Big Ass Shrug*

anyway thats the end of my success story uhh i can’t make the like comment & subscribe joke again bc i already did that in the last post so like bye i guess thanks 4 watchign & have a great day i’ll see u in my next fvideo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYob4uDjEKI&t=0s

(^that’s my outro music)

[minimonojoon]

so i was tagged by @kyut-tea (thanks, thanks a lot <3333 i love these games dfkjndgkjdn so much fun dfjgndf) and also made a banner (kyu you inspired me!). i’m tagging @94hixtape , @sleeepysugaa , @wildbeest55, @lady-shurley if you want to do it of course!! if you don’t want to, that’s completely fine <3 

last

- drink: water

- call: 4 missed calls from my dad lmao

- text: a friend on our gc where she showed me her cat (so cute dkgjndf)

- song u listened to: thunderclouds by labyrinth, sia and diplo (my current obsession bye)

- time u cried: this afternoon after a fight w my mom but couldn’t relish all the tears lmao

have u ever

- dated someone twice: nope

- kissed someone & regretted it: no

- been cheated on: no

- lost someone special: yes 

- been depressed: yes lmao i am right now, but trying to figure things out

- gotten drunk & thrown up: yes but let’s say i tried to threw up to feel better but didn’t succeed lol

favorite colors

1. all pastel colors, no matter what

2. warm colors

3. ok yes basically I love all the bright colors ok

in the last year have u

- made any new friends: yes!!

- fallen out of love: nope

- laughed so hard that u cried: oh yes fjgfd

- found out someone was talking abt u: no

- found out who ur friends were: meaning the ones who stick with u no matter what? well yeah

- kissed someone on ur fb friends list: ahah no

general

- how many ppl from ur fb friends do u know irl: most of them?? I only have ppl I know irl there

- do u have any pets: not right now

- do u want to change ur name: no, not really

- what did u do for ur birthday last year: last year was pretty chill, i went out with some friends in our favorite Korean restaurant and then we bought some useless shit in tiger; dfjkgndf sorry but this year was amazing bc I like had three birthday parties in a span of a week and couldn’t be happier, one of the three was a surprise birthday party and my non kpop friends blasted bts for me :’)

- what were u doing last night at midnight: I was watching just between lovers before miserably falling asleep lol

- what time did u wake up today: 8.07 am

- what is something u can’t wait for: get back w my friends, graduate, to move abroad (japan or australia lmao), to lose all the weight I need to, to finally be able to be happy and peaceful with myself

- have u ever talked to a person named tom: uhmmmmmm no

- something that gets on ur nerves: definitely being ignored/not listened when i’m trying to talk directly to you

- most visited website: tumblr, twitter, wordreference lmao

- hair color: brown

- short hair or long hair: short (or medium long lmao)

- do u have a crush on someone: raw nerve djkgdnf but yes

- what do u like abt urself: my eyes and being honest w others lmao

- want any piercings: no, i don’t particularly like them

- blood type: zero negative

- nicknames: let’s say on tumblr my nickname is liz

- relationship status: single

- zodiac sign: taurus

- pronouns: she/her

- fave tv shows: the 100, games of thrones, the good place, basically all the good historians tv shows and comedies along the way lmao

- tattoos: I don’t have one yet, but be sure I already have three I want to be tattoed on my skin eheh

- right handed or left handed: right handed

- ever had surgery: no

- sport: when I was younger my mom always convinced me into doing some sports, I did swimming, gym activities and idk like running and other stuff, but always left then I did dance and now I’m a runner (and I love it!!)

- vacation: everywhere, where there’s something to visit, to discover, to know about that I didn’t before. definitely best place so far visited was netherlands

- trainers: I want a new pair of shoes for running but I have to wait until December for them sob

more general:

- eating: nothing, i fucked up my diet (again) today bc first me and my family went to the beach and eat watermelon then decided at 3 pm that typical southern italian food (which is not light lol) was the best choice for a late lunch ajfknsdfj

- drinking: water

- i’m about to watch: nothing right now, but surely just between lovers or some anime late in the evening

- waiting for: losing all the weight I need to, be self-confident, be happy, to find inspiration again, see my friends

- want: read above lmao plus exercising and finish writing all my wips and post something I (might) slightly like instead of getting angry with myself and quit everything bc it’s bullshit badly written, but also (this stupid but whatever) talk to ppl here and struggle together for anythink, being bts related or writing 

- get married: if it happens, yes. marriage isn’t easy and strong and healthy relationships require patience and willpower (and lots of other things), but I’m willing to do it for the right person.

- career: i’m already struggling right now, i still don’t know what i want to do and that’s making me nervous for when i’ll have to choose my master degree but I JUST WANT A COOL JOB AND MAKE MONEY

which is better:

- hugs or kisses: both, but only from people i really feel comfortable with

- lips or eyes: eyes, if it’s kim seokjin also lips

- shorter or taller: both :’)

- older or younger: don’t care

- nice arms or stomach: idk??

- hookup or relationship: i’m too shy and socially awkward to have a hookup w someone, so…

- troublemaker or hesitant: dkjgnd forever hesitant

have you ever:

- kissed a stranger: HAHAHAHAH nice one but no

- drank hard liquor: yes

- lost glasses: not yet (…)

- turned someone down: yes

- sex on first date: no (and i don’t want to)

- broken someone’s heart: no

- had your heart broken: yes

- been arrested: no

-  cried when someone died: yes

- fallen for a friend: uhm, no, not really

do you believe in:

- yourself: working on it, but currently… big fat no

- miracles: yes!

- love at first sight: i can believe you like someone at first sight for their appearance, but love?? nah

- santa claus: wish i still believe in him :(

- kiss on first date: yes and no? idk, depends on how long you know the person you date

- angels: idk, but if they do probably mine is currently having a break down and any other laughing bc of what i do lmao

other:

- best friend’s name: i’ll say in my native language corresponds to the english daisy (yup, the flower)

- eye colour: brown

- fave movie: harry potter series, back to the future (only the first not the saga!!), the holiday, Dunkirk (I loved that movie), basically any historian well made movie, batman trilogy (directed by Christopher Nolan), marvel movies

- fave actor: BOB MORLEY OWNS MY HEART, also ELIZA TAYLOR my babe, but also Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman and idk, no other name came to my mind