#also because im writing 1000 other things

[hailsatanacab]

43

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Ooooooooh uh.... would fully love to do a major whump! All hurt, minimal comfort, and so much angst.

I have a wip in the works titled "lmao literal torture danny fic feat. duke the sunshine boy" so uh. It's happening, at some point 🤣

fic ask game

[july-19th-club]

not sure if its really the right choice to read when home sick but leech is sooooooo good jesus christ

[lunaviee]

ushijima headcanons bc bro needs more appreciation 🤗🤗💗💗💗💗 (and bc im rewatching haikyuu and im actually going INSANE.)

i feel like he kinda gained a habit of reaching for your hand a lot. idk why but he’ll stare at it for a minute and then just grab it wordlessly

1000% the kind of guy to get you “just because” flowers. i think he’ll see them at a local market and then make it his life’s mission to make you a pretty bouquet

he’s actually really good at cooking. he enjoys it, especially when he sees the glow in your eyes when you try his food

enjoys taking the scenic route when you guys take a drive somewhere. not only does he find the landscape beautiful, but it gives him more time to talk or even just be in your presence

speaking of driving, he definitely does that move where he puts his hand on your headrest when he’s backing out🤗🙏

i feel like he can read you really well. like if you’re uncomfortable somewhere or maybe just not feeling well, he tries to get you out of that situation

actually kinda going back to the hand thing, he rlly likes your touch. it’s so warm against his skin and he feels so at ease with you around

i feel like he’s very academically smart, his grades are impeccable and he’s always helping you in your classes. but social/street smarts? yeah umm not so much. it takes a little while to adjust at the beginning of your relationship but you soon find how well of a match you are for each other

back to the “reads you well” part, he also remembers everything about you. your order at your local coffee shop, why you don’t like certain foods, and will never forget a special date

he also likes spending money on you, insisting you buy that new shade of lip tint even if it looks just like the one at home, because with him around, you shouldn’t have to worry about a single penny

this one’s kinda silly but i just KNOW he’s the type of mf to bring in all the groceries in one trip

always sends you “good morning” and “goodnight” texts. but since it’s ushijima, it’s kinda like “goodnight, sleep well❤️” a little basic but trust me, he’s much better at showing his love in person

speaking of, his love language is definitely acts of service and probably quality time. whatever he can do to make your day a little better, he’ll do it

he takes such good candid pictures of you it’s actually insane. you genuinely don’t know how he even takes these without you noticing but somehow they’re always amazing

also, he doesn’t like deleting pictures of you. something about it doesn’t feel right to him so he’ll have a handful of pics that have your face all blurry or cropped out, but it’s still you so why should he delete it??

pls i just know his embrace is so secure and warm….. like you’ll ask for a hug and even if he doesn’t always understand how of why his physical touch makes you feel so special but he never declines

i know this is cliche, but he’s obviously strong af so picking you up is no problem and he’ll often do it if you get tired of walking. he also insists you sit on his back while he does pushups. his words not mine🤞🤞

cat lover. like one day you two went to a pet store to buy some treats for moms dog and he makes eye contact with a gray cat.

you guys forgot about the treats and ended up buying a bunch of cat stuff

✮ — haikyuu might bring back my motivation to write….

[mins-fins]

all flights are delayed !

"i like to call myself a pretty man connoisseur.."

synopsis: your sad to say it, but you don't have much going on in your life. you have a very time consuming major, just a few friends, barely any time to go out, and spend most of your free time either a: working, or b: sleeping. so for once, when you finally have the friday off, and your dragged off to go watch a football game between a rival school of yours, you really do wish you were anywhere else. somehow though, it turns out to be one of the best things to happen to you, because a charming oreo–haired musical theater major from your rival school just happens to saunter his way into your life, you didn't expect to fall in love in your junior year, but your also not complaining!

pairing: xiao dejun x male!reader

genre: college au, strangers to friends to lovers, musical theater major!xiaojun x health science major!reader, fluff, like the lightest of angst, lowkey fast burn 😖

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, kissing(?), gay people, a little miscommunication, reader having a crisis over oreo xiaojun, probably a lot of repetitive phrases, huang guanheng is EVERYWHERE

word count: 12.8k

notes: OKAAAAAAAY hello! now in the beginning i really did enjoy writing this but after like the fourth scene its all so disgusting and jumbled up but i am also very proud of myself because this is the longest ever fic i have ever written (it is all xiao dejuns fault), actually it is ALL of nct's fault because why do i have a bunch of 8k word fics of so many nct members..😢 anyway if this seems any rushed or makes absolutely no sense at times its because im tired and i worked extra today but it doesn't really matter because constructive criticism is good (i shouldn't even publish this tbh) but there is a first for everything! enjoy!

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A FOOTBALL FAN. now you know that might be a little of a sour opinion, especially to the men in your family, but it's just never been a sport you enjoy. it is just a little fun to watch, especially when drunk, because the sight of men in tight ass clothes running around a field chasing a ball is possibly one of the funniest things you think your drunk mind has ever seen. which is why now— in the stands, listening to the loud shouts and screams from your schoolmates, and rival scholars, you feel as if your ears have just been popped.

after all the days of working, and doing nothing but schoolwork, you were glad to have the rest of the friday off. there was nothing else you wanted to do but put on an oversized sweater, make a bowl of ramen and rewatch gossip girl for the seventy fifth time already (yes, you keep count), but no— guanheng decided he was going to drag you out of the dorm to watch stupid football game, one about "school spirit" or whatever, you weren't paying attention to him when he decided to go on his ramble, and now he's abandoned you once again! probably off to go talk to one of his 1000 other friends or something.

you almost consider leaving, but then you witness the amount of people you'd have to maneuver through, the amount of excuse me's you'd have to utter, the amount of pushing you'd endure as you tried to make your way through the crowded stands, besides, you can't leave without guanheng, your pretty much the only person responsible for keeping him alive at this point.

so you somehow suck it up and manage to stick around. your ears are practically on fire right now, and you desperately want to take off your shoes because of how they are poking you at the moment. you almost feel like your being pressed together by all the people in the stands, as if walls are slowly pushing in and crushing every single bone in your body.

"that team is doing horribly.." you mutter to yourself in an attempt to calm your crazy mind.

"i know, we suck".

at first you think you've made up the voice, because in the past hour and a half all you've heard is shouting, cheering, and loud music blasting on your ears, no one has made any attempt to talk to you since guanheng up and left you alone in the stands, so the response almost seems like muddled up words created by your brain as a response—

but it's not.

someone actually did respond to you, and in a split second there is a completely new person standing beside you, also observing the game but not looking as pleased to be there. when you do glance to your left, you come across possibly the most beautiful boy— no, person, you come across the most beautiful person you think you've ever seen in your twenty years of living, for once it feels like everything stops.

you are not the kind of person that just.. does that. now you've met tons of pretty people, you've met so many people that you could definitely say are so beautiful they could be displayed in a museum as an art exhibit, but never in your twenty years of living have you ever seen yourself go silent at the sight of a beautiful person— your brain feels like it's malfunctioning, you're not exactly sure what to say, you open your mouth but no words come out, and you almost consider punching yourself because you probably look like a complete idiot right now.

"oh? you don't go here?"

that's what you decided to say? of all things you could've said, of course he doesn't go to your school, he just implied that the other team belonged to his school, why would that be the best thing to say out of everything else?

the stranger looks up, then he laughs, and your not sure how you keep your composure. "oh no, i go to vixsith" he replies, using his thumb to point backward, though he's not pointing at anything in specific, just pointing to point. you're not sure why you pick up on that, or why you're even watching where his hands are going anyway.

"your insulting your own team?" you inquire, and he laughs even harder at your question, covering his mouth with his hand. "this is about school spirit, have faith in them" you joke, and all he does is continue laughing, crossing his arms as he tries his best to calm himself down.

"i'm being honest, the only person on that team who knows how to play is mark, he deserves better" he remarks, eyes focused on the player he just named. he then seems to have a random realization and turns to you once again. "i'm dejun by the way" he holds out his hand for you to take, and you just blink at it like an idiot, before coming back to your senses and quickly shaking his head.

"y/n".

at the sound of your name, he seems to have yet another realization. he points at you and narrows his eyes. "we have a mutual friend don't we?"

at the question, you narrow your eyes, cogs turn in your brain as you think about who he could possibly be referring to, then it comes to you—

"guanheng".

the two of you say his name in unison, and the two of you both try to stifle your laughs as the realization dawns on you. "he knows everyone i swear" you mutter, and dejun snorts, looking away from you to laugh. "even from other schools.."

"oh we go way back" dejun responds, moving his hair out of his face. "middle school actually" he adds, and your eyes widen, as if your shocked, of course guanheng has friends from way back when, why are you surprised?

you don't feel as surprised as you do lucky..

"was he still as inhumanely flexible as he is now?"

dejun laughs again, he does that a lot. "yes, yes he was".

"he talks about you a lot.. you know" dejun comments out of the blue, tucking his hair behind his ear. "he basically lives with us, and if he's not sleeping over we always assume he's with you".

"oh so that's why he always just.. appears and disappears.."

"yeah that's kind of his thing" dejun scrunches his face, looking bored by the lack of action happening on the field. "i can never find him unless he directly comes to me first" he doesn't look at you as he says those words, but you're very much staring at him the whole time.

you almost feel like a creep in a way, you want to punch yourself in the face again for continuing to stare at him. you blink a couple times before turning your face away, trying to correctly articulate your thoughts.

"both teams suck".

you only say those words because you want him to continue talking, you want to hear him talk, it's nothing that crazy, having a conversation with him is just so intriguing to you for some reason..

"well yeah— but you guys get more training so you have an advantage" he comments, narrowing his eyes at the field, arms crossed over his chest. "the guys on our team have no idea what their doing".

"do you like football?" you ask, not sure why your so interested in his answer, you just are, you have no explanation for your sudden intrigue of this charming oreo–haired boy that goes to your rival school.

your much too distracted by how gorgeous he is to worry about giving yourself an explanation.

dejun laughs again, shaking his head. "not really, my dad does, so i just know things because of all his screaming and shouting" he replies, arms still crossed over his chest. "i'm not really a sports person, i do musical theater for pete's sake".

"oh so you sing?" you don't mean to ask another question, you're worried that you might be bothering dejun with your constant inquiries, but he actually seems glad, excited that someone is asking him about his major.

"well yeah" he responds, his smile growing. "all things theater, i write the songs, i act the parts, i play instruments, sometimes i even take offstage roles instead of my usual onstage ones".

he fiddles with his fingers, picking his nails. you assume, from his mannerisms, that he doesn't know what to say because most people don't really ask him about his major, or what he does, it's like he's elated that you even asked him.

"what about you?" dejun instead asks, veering away from the topic of his major and instead making yours the main topic of discussion. "what do you do?"

"health science" you say the words as if it pains you to, like it's the single most uninteresting thing you've said this whole interaction. "i know, it's boring".

dejun laughs again; "no no! i didn't say that!" he waves his hands in a disagreeing manner as he chuckles at your words. "i just don't meet a lot of people interested in pursuing science.."

"it's more of the health aspect than science actually" you mutter, and dejun just looks even more interested in what you have to say now. "but science is a big part of it so.."

"you must be very smart then" dejun remarks, smiling as the two of you make eye contact.

"i'm alright" you just say, finally pulling down your formerly rolled up sweater sleeves now that the air outside has begun cooling down. you only lightly shiver, and you glance back at dejun one more time..

"where do you think guanheng is?" he asks, clearing his throat as he scours the still full and lively bleachers, searching for your friend. "off doing whatever he does.."

you're currently very distracted, and you don't even realize what's going on when you snap out of whatever daze you were having and everyone is suddenly standing up and cheering like there's no tomorrow.

dejun looks over at you, and he can clearly see how confused you are because he laughs for one last time. "you guys won!" he somehow manages his voice over the roar of the crowd. "congrats!"

he's yelling, but he's not exactly loud, he still manages to sound so gentle whilst yelling at you.

"thanks!" you blurt out as a reply, and you feel like a complete idiot for that, but dejun smiles, so you don't feel all that embarrassed.

the game is over, and people are going to start to leave soon. dejun looks back, spotting a group he recognizes, then he looks over at you, a smile on his face. "i've gotta go now" he says, almost disappointed in a sense. "it was nice meeting you y/n!"

you nod, not knowing what to say. "yeah! you too!"

you too? you too?? is that what you say y/n!?

dejun gives one more beautiful smile before heading off, and you blink, having absolutely no idea what just transpired in those few minutes.

holy shit i forgot to ask—

but you couldn't— because he was gone, gone in such a flash you couldn't even spot his oreo hair in the crowd.

YOU FORGOT TO ASK FOR HIS NUMBER. YOU FEEL SO STUPID, your not even sure why you wanted to ask him that, but in the back of your mind that was the question you were preparing yourself to ask from the moment he told you his name, that he was friends with guanheng, the moment the two of you began laughing about your majors and stuff like that. the whole interaction with a pretty oreo–haired musical theater major at a football game is all that you were thinking about last night, as you tried to find pretty much anything else to think about as you struggled to sleep.

how did you forget to ask him for his number? you want to smash your face into your computer screen because of how stupid you are. you said "you too!" like a fucking idiot, but maybe you were just too distracted, he was smiling at you with that beautiful smile and staring at you with his absolutely gorgeous fucking eyes, how could you even think coherently whilst a beautiful man (from a whole other school but who cares?) was staring at you with his pretty brown eyes like you were the only person in the world?

okay your pushing it now..

but there is just something, something about him that drew you in, your not sure why you were so adamant on getting to know him, but he was just so— you can't explain it right now! you are currently very sleep deprived and also moody because of your disappearing roommate that always decides to appear at the worst times.

you don't remember the last time you ever got an actual eight hours of sleep, these days that seems like a dream more than a reality, but guangheng is just never tired. he's somehow always up, doing something, hanging out with people, he never sits down in once place and just stays still.

when he walks into the room, hands on his hips and gaze immediately focused on you, you barely bat an eye at him, just spare him a quick glance, noticing how pissed off he looks. you scour your mind for an explanation as to why he must be mad now, probably something someone said, or he got into yet another argument with one of his classmates, your not even sure anymore, you don't know where he is half the time.

"could you do me a favor?"

you almost laugh out loud, not at him, but at the idea that he wanted you to do him a favor. at this point, he probably owes you thousands of favors considering how many you do for him, but he seems upset, and you don't have any of that pettiness leftover to ignore him, so you move your eyes to look over at him.

"why should i?"

okay— you lied, your still just a little petty, but you totally have every right to be! guanheng deserves just some sass from you after disappearing each and every time he decides to take you out somewhere.

guanheng blinks, then he pulls out the signature guanheng frown, a sad stupid frown he always makes when he wants to persuade you into doing something. you're not sure how you've even ever fallen for that signature frown, maybe it's because he's just so great at looking sad, at looking upset, he somehow always manages to make you feel bad for him, and therefore, end up doing the favor for him.

"because i'm your best friend, your roommate, and you love me so much" guanheng smiles wide, like he just found out he won the lottery, and clasps his hands together as he rocks back and forth on his heels.

"i don't know.." you mumble, looking back at your computer screen. it's a saturday, you have no classes saturday, you can just sit down, relax, be the absolute lazy motherfucker you were put on this earth to be. "i don't feel like going out today".

guanheng huffs, crossing his arms. "one last favor! just one! then i'll get off your back!"

"your horrible at following your promises, heng" you comment absentmindedly, your tone is much meaner than you intended, and guanheng's gasp is enough to tell you that he indeed takes offense to those words. "what? i'm not lying".

"y/n!" oh great, he's whining now. "i will get you anything i can, anything! just this one favor! please?"

your about to say no again— but then it's like a lightbulb goes off in your head, and you get a spectacular idea. anything? he did say anything, and he can give you something you want.

the number of a pretty boy preferably!

you let out a sigh, and guanheng knows what that sigh means, it means you agree. "fine, i'll do you this favor, but this is the last one".

guanheng's smile brightens, and he cheers like a kid that just got the best christmas present one can receive. "thank you! thank you! thank you! i love you!" he kisses your cheek, and skips off to another room.

"get your jacket!" he shouts, already rooms away from you, so he has to shout.

"what?"

"get your jacket! were leaving!"

you furrow your eyebrows at his words, but you don't say anymore, because you did agree to do this favor for him after all.

so, without questioning it more, you get up and go grab your jacket.

"SO WHEN YOU SAID A FAVOR..?" you don't continue on with your sentence, pausing to let out a breath as you shove your hands into the pockets of your jackets. guanheng looks over at you, and he just chuckles at the unreadable expression on your face. when you agreed to do this favor for him, you didn't know it included leaving your dorm and having to be dragged out to yet another unfamiliar place. "did you forget to mention the fact that we'd have to leave the school?" you finally finish, eyes focused and narrowed on your friend, who again, smiles at you with that signature guanheng smile.

"it's a saturday, most of us don't have classes anyway, they won't question it".

"is that supposed to make me feel better?" you ask to yourself more than to guanheng, but he hears you anyway, and that results in a snicker from him. despite that, he doesn't respond to your silent question, making you frown just the slightest.

"stop pouting".

"i'm not pouting" your quick to rebut, rolling your eyes at his words. you almost bump into him when he suddenly stops, and your about to yell at him again for being stupid when he places a finger on your mouth.

he knocks on the door in front of him, not paying attention to the burning glare your currently sending him.

"i'll bite off your finger" you threaten, moving forward and pretending your about to do that. guanheng squeaks and quickly moves his fingers away from your lips, a flash of true fear in his eyes. all you do is give him a menacing and totally not threatening smile.

"psycho.." he whispers, he looks like he's about to say more, but the door opens, so he closes his mouth and turns around.

"come on!"

he grabs your wrist and drags you into the dorm, and you felt your heart rate increase. maybe he knew these people, but you sure didn't! what if they thought you were weird? you want to pull him back and tell him that he shouldn't just drag you into some strangers dorm, but he is much too distracted to even notice your uneasiness.

"i've returned!" guanheng yells, letting go of your hand to place his hands on his hips, as if he was proud of himself.

"can you slam the door on him!?"

"ten! come to me!"

before you can ask him what the hell is going on, he sprints down the hallway, you assume to go after this ten person, you just blink, shoving your hands into your pockets as you begin to rock back and forth on your heels.

"hello stranger!" an unfamiliar voice exclaims, you look up and come face to face with a pink–haired boy with a bright smile.

"hello" you reply politely. "i like your hair" you immediately remark, pointing at his hair like an idiot because you don't want to touch it and make him uncomfortable.

his face lights up, as if you were a millionaire that just gifted him a life changing amount of money. it was as if no one ever told him that his hair was pretty before, or that they liked it. he jumps up and squeals, excited. "thank you! ten said it was stupid!"

you furrow your eyebrows, then chuckle. "what? no it's very pretty, pink suits you!"

"hah! i told you guanheng! pink does suit me!" he yells down the hall, and you can hear the small shout of rebuttal that guanheng responds with from all the way down the hall. "thanks! only a few people actually noticed that i dyed my hair".

you laugh again, okay he is very funny, you like him!

"oh! i'm yangyang! the nicest person who lives here!" he introduces himself in the same fashion a reality tv star would, and quickly grabs your hand to shake it. you don't complain, just laugh again as he vigorously shakes your hand.

"y/n, it's nice to meet you".

he gasps, recognizing your name. "oh you're the famous y/n! guanheng always talks about you, for a long time i was convinced he was in love with you!"

"why are you tarnishing my brand!?" guanheng shouts again, sounding even more pissed off than he did before. "huh!? liu yangyang!?"

yangyang shakes his head, ignoring guanheng's loud shouts and flapping his hand, mocking him. you laugh as you watch him mock the other, who has absolutely no idea what he's doing right now.

"you have a project to do!" another unfamiliar voice shouts.

yangyang gasps again, suddenly looking stressed. "fuck yeah— um!" he turns around and reaches over to grab his laptop, then he turns back to you and gives you a smile.

"yeah, my apologies" you just wave it off, urging him to keep going. "um i'm doing a project where i have to interview people on their majors.. trust me i don't know either, but! i've interviewed like the whole school already, and i need one more person.."

"and that person is me?" you ask, but you already know the answer to that question, yangyang nods, much more quickly than he seemed to intend to.

"yes!" he exclaims, but then he clears his throat. "but only if you want to, i don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do—"

"no no no it's fine!" you cut into his sentence, shaking your head. yangyang, again, looks elated that you agreed.

okay so this was the favor guanheng wanted you to for him! (not for him necessarily— but his friend). he could've just told you about this straight up instead of being vague about it, it wasn't even that burdening of a favor, not like the other ones you've done for him.

"guanheng! why don't you bring him around more often? he's better than you are!" yangyang yells again, probably for the nth time that hour.

guanheng doesn't answer, but you knows he's pouting, you can just sense it at this point, you call it your "roommate instincts".

"oh hi y/n".

now that's a voice you recognize, and you almost don't believe your eyes when the one person that kept you up all night walks into the room and smiles as he sees your figure. "dejun, hi" you smile back at him, hoping you don't sound as awkward as you feel.

dejun looks so so pretty, as he always does. he fiddles with the necklace hanging around his neck, his eyes lingering on you for an unspecified amount of time.

"ten hit me with his shoe" guanheng suddenly storms into the room, arms crossed over his chest. "asshole.." he mutters under his breath, huffing like some sort of baby.

dejun then laughs, covering his mouth with his hand, and that causes you to laugh, turning your head to the side as to not make it obvious.

guanheng exchanges glances between the both of you, a prominent glare in his eyes, but then the look in his eyes changes, and he points at the two of you. "you two have met?" he asks.

dejun pauses, still humored by the previous words said by guanheng, and your brain almost malfunctions once again. "i— um" great, you just sound so natural and not awkward.

"we met at the game" dejun immediately says, saving you the awkwardness of having to collect your words in your brain. you thank whatever god or deity up there for dejun's quick response, and he just flashes you that familiar pretty smile. "yesterday, you know, while you were off doing who knows what.."

guanheng gasps, looking at dejun like he'd just cursed his entire bloodline. "you— your just such a bitch! you know!?"

"ow! don't punch me! i'm fragile!"

guanheng lands one more punch on his shoulder, and it gets one more squeak out of dejun, who jumps once again. "i don't care, your horrible".

yangyang blinks, probably already used to their little quarrels. he then turns to you, just shaking his head as they continue to whisper–argue. "so, what do you major in?"

it's almost like you totally forgot, his project, the thing that guanheng dragged you here to help him with. "health sciences, i take courses in everything related to healthcare and like— half actual science courses?"

"so your looking to work in healthcare?"

"yeah basically, i've already taken courses in emergency service's, becoming a paramedic is my top option!"

yangyang gasps at your words, he looks over at guanheng, then quickly back at you. "are you single?" he asks, again with the same quickness.

dejun snorts, hitting guanheng as begins laughing hard. guanheng scrunches his nose, staring at yangyang like he's crazy. "what kind of question is that!?"

"what? that is a totally valid question to ask!" he exclaims, crossing his arms. "it's for my project! clearly!" he lies.

"your— oh my god, unbelievable".

"so are you?" yangyang asks again, looking at you with suspenseful eyes. he is very much interested in your answer it seems.

your finally finished with your laughing fit, and nod, still very amused. "yes i am, i'm single".

"good, this is very important information".

yangyang gives you a giddy look, and dejun just continues to laugh.

you're not sure why your so focused on him though..

YOU AGAIN, HAVE NO LUCK SLEEPING that night, and after the first hour and a half of tossing and turning, you gave up on trying to chase slumber you knew you wouldn't be able to catch. you assumed that the longer you stared at your computer screen, the quicker you'd get tired and the quicker your eyes would become heavier, but no! it's now almost two in the morning and you still aren't sleepy in the tiniest bit, you didn't know insomnia got this bad, if you knew this prior to coming back to school this year, you would've bought more of those sleeping pills. you lean your chin onto your hand as your computer continues playing audio from a random episode of brooklyn nine–nine.

the millions of thoughts rampant in your mind were probably distracting you, rendering it impossible to sleep, and also rendering it impossible to focus, seeing as your just looking around your room, which is pretty much boring you considering all you've been doing for the past thirty minutes is looking around your own room.

you think your gonna bore yourself to death, you pretty much prepare to stay up for the next five hours until your alarm rings and startles you out of your daze (which has happened way too many times for your comfort), but then your phone rings.

it's almost two in the morning, who exactly is calling you at this time? who knows that you're awake at 1:56 in the morning and decided to call you? they probably knew you'd pick up..

and you know who it is— it's so obvious.

dejun.

you don't mean to pick up your ringing phone as fast as you do, you want to punch yourself in the face for how desperate you seem, and you almost don't answer the phone because you feel so embarrassed. "hello?"

"hi!" dejun sounds way too joyous for someone who is sleep deprived, and up at 1:57 am. "sorry? was that too loud?"

"no no your fine" you reply, even though the speaker is on, guanheng can quite literally sleep through anything, there was one time the fire alarm was going off for a good ten minutes and he didn't even budge. "guanheng is a pretty heavy sleeper".

"he's lucky, i can't sleep" the sound of shuffling on the other line resonates in your ears, and dejun huffs, sounding frustrated. "you were the only person i assumed would be awake".

you snicker. "why is that?" you inquire, he was right, of course, but you just wanted to hear his reasoning, and also wanted him to keep talking.

you really like dejun's voice for some reason, it just scratches the right part of your brain. in these past two days you realized that you like a lot of things about dejun, many more things than you thought you might.

"your major has the word 'science' in it so i just assumed the amount of sleep you get is slim to none".

now that gets another laugh out of you, you laugh much more than you intend to, but also— it's dejun, and you can't resist the loud laugh that escapes your lips.

oh your such a desperate little bitch—

"well you'd be correct" you respond, humming as you pick at your nails. "at this point sleeping is beginning to make me tired".

there's a long pause, and your worried you made everything more awkward, because you don't hear anything from the other line. for a moment, you're almost convinced dejun hung up on you, but before you can speak he beats you to it.

"i can keep you company until you get tired" he immediately suggests, and you almost choke on your spit when he says that. "i don't mind".

you go silent, feeling as if all logical thoughts in your mind have suddenly disappeared into the air. you might sound like a complete loser right now but that was just so sweet of him to suggest, you smile much too wide for your own comfort, but you don't even think about that, because your just so charmed by the words.

"you are.." you pause, clasping your hands together as you think about what words to say next. "yeah yeah, that's fine" you finally continue, your new words having no connection to the previous ones you previously said, you just hope dejun doesn't notice.

"good! it would've been awkward if you said no" dejun giggles, and you just can't get over how cute he sounds. "plus, i wouldn't want you to be tired in the morning, lord knows how much you do in a day.."

you feel an unfamiliar fluttering feeling in your stomach, because he is so considerate? he wants to help you, he's just being so nice to you at.. two! two in the morning! you bite down on your bottom lip, hoping it doesn't bleed from how hard your tooth drives into it.

"aww, you care about me that much?" you ask, just wanting to hear him talk again. you feel like a teenage girl giggling and kicking her feet over a high school crush, except you can't kick your feet and giggle because then dejun would know.

"okay, be quiet, don't make me hang up".

"okay okay don't do that!" you say, totally meaning to sound as desperate as possible this time. "if your not here i won't ever fall asleep".

you hear something similar to a squeal on the other line, as if dejun had heard your words and just freaked out.

the realization honestly boosted your ego.

"you— you suck!"

"you offered to help me jun, don't get like this now!"

you're not sure how long it goes on for, but you swear you two laugh all night while on the phone.

"SO WHOSE THE GUY?" the question is asked so abruptly that at first, you assume you heard your friend wrong. when you look up, he stares at you with that deadpanned gaze, and that's when you realize he's completely serious. you chuckle at the realization that your friend is sure that your in love with someone (well you are— your just surprised that he figured out so quickly). "what guy? there's a guy?" you tilt your head, acting as if you have no idea what he could possibly be talking about. you giggle as you watch him slowly get even more irritated by your answer.

"you always come in here looking a little less miserable each day" chenle observes, leaning forward as he narrows his eyes at you. "someone is making you excited to live life?"

"do i always come in here looking miserable?" you ask, completely diverting your attention from chenle's previously asked question, which makes him pout.

"yep!" renjun exclaims, sitting beside you, he crosses his legs in his chair and presses his lips into a thin line. "so! who is he?"

the two seem way too excited to know about your never talked about before crush on dejun. now— you didn't know it was so obvious that you were now smitten for this new guy, you're usually the friend that's known from straying the furthest away from love, you don't remember any people you've legitimately liked that weren't elementary school crushes..

so yeah, your friends totally had every right to be surprised, because your absolutely smitten for a man and they just want to know who this man that is making you so happy is!

you hate that you give in so easily. "he's one of guanheng's friends.." you mutter, picking at your nails, looking down to make sure you don't witness renjun and chenle's reactions with your own two eyes.

renjun gasps, sounding like those ladies at the hair salons that just heard the juiciest gossip. "ooh! who? does he go here? do we know him? is he pretty?"

chenle looks over at renjun like he's crazy, that familiar judging stare in his eyes as he watches renjun lean closer to you with a totally not creepy smile on his face. "don't you think your acting a little too interested in this?"

"i just want to know!" renjun shouts, playfully glaring at the younger. he then turns back to you, and you assume his cheeks must be hurting from how hard he seems to be smiling. "tell me please?"

"he's— he's just your run of the mill pretty guy who is nice, and smart, and absolutely adorable who tells horrible jokes that still end up being funny in some way and he has a pretty laugh and i just love his voice, and talking to him, and, i can't even explain it because it'll sound stupid!"

"you sound like a psycho" chenle immediately says, laughing at you like you just confessed to an atrocious crime against humanity. you sink into your chair, slumping towards the side.

"aww! the pessimistic y/n is in love!" renjun squeals, again, like those women at the hair salon who just heard the juiciest gossip. he grabs your arm and shakes you vigorously, causing you to get dizzy in the slightest bit. "i can't believe i've lived to see this day!" he shouts, continuing to shake you as you can't properly get out your cries for help.

"renjun you're gonna kill him" chenle pinches the older in the arm, making him yelp and jump, he giggles as he witnesses the glare the older male sends him, his crushing grip remains around your arm, but you don't even mention at this point, because at least he's not shaking you anymore.

"sorry" he remarks, definitely not sorry as he squeezes your arm once again, beginning to get overly excited. "it's just.. exciting you know?"

"it's exciting that i'm in love with someone?" you raise an eyebrow, and though you expect renjun to respond, chenle quickly does.

"yep! you'll finally be gone!"

his cheer results in a gasp of offense from you, and all chenle does is giggle in victory.

THE ONE THING YOU'VE LEARNED FROM THE now excessive amounts of times you've hung around guanheng's other friends is that they're loud, they are all really loud (even sicheng! who, for a good majority of the time, is always quietly staring at his friends with clear concern in his eyes), even if they don't mean to, they're somehow always either yelling, shouting, or making some sort of scene. they're all just naturally hilarious, like comedians that don't realize they're comedians because they're just being themselves. in the past few weeks, it's like you spend more time with these people that don't go to your school in comparison to people that actually go to your school and that you can see easily.

but if you're being honest, you don't really mind that your spending all your free time with them, because they are indeed very fun to be around (and you get to see dejun much more regularly, which is something you rather enjoy), and because life would be insanely boring if guanheng didn't decide to drag you out of the dorm every other day to go do stupid things with his friends that go to a whole other school.

"you are such a cheater! i won fair and square!"

"you did not! your the cheater! sicheng is my witness!"

sicheng, who was not listening to anything either ten or yangyang had to say, looked over at the younger with a look of concern washed over his features. he blinks as he's suddenly put on the spot, smiling nervously as the youngest stares intensely at him, waiting for his answer. "uh.. i— i don't know".

his delivery makes you burst out laughing, and you cover your mouth with your hand as to not make yourself look like an absolute fool. you don't even realize that you picked up on one of dejun's habits, you might be spending too much time around him..

actually, forget that! there is no such thing as spending too much time around dejun, and that might make you sound like a "simp" but you don't care.

you've fallen, and you've fallen hard.

"okay.." guanheng presses his lips into a thin line, ignoring the way ten and yangyang now begin discussing the logistics of cheating in card games, unfortunately dragging poor sicheng into their argument. he turns to dejun and scoots closer to him. "can you do me a favor?"

dejun groans, playfully rolling his eyes. you assume he's done as much favors for guanheng as you have, and you barely stifle the snicker that dares to escape your lips.

dejun hears the sound, and smacks your arm hard, making you jump. he only gives you a teasing smile before turning to guanheng, having to give him a response.

"at what lengths do i have to go for this favor?"

guanheng scoffs, crossing his arms. "it's nothing insane or anything, i just want you to get me something.."

"and you can't get it yourself because..?"

"i have no money on me" and there goes that signature guanheng frown, dejun opens his mouth to argue but then he shuts it so quickly it seems like he just got out in some sort of trance.

"fine fine" dejun rolls his eyes once again, surrendering much too quickly. "you owe me though—"

"take y/n with you".

there's a pause, both you and dejun go very silent for a moment. whilst dejun is just confused, you absolutely know what guanheng is doing, and you have to use every bit of patience in your body to restrain yourself instead of jumping over the table and tackling him right then and there.

dejun is clearly clueless, though, because he just raises an eyebrow. "why?" he inquires, somehow sounding so sweet even though his question is asked with so much confusion.

"y/n knows what i want".

what a smooth lie, dejun glances over at you, and you just shrug, having no idea what more to say. "he needs to take a walk anyway" guanheng lies again, wow, two in a row! he's on a roll.

"okay..?"

so that's how you find yourself on a walk with the person that you are very much in love with, a somehow comfortable silence spread between the two of you as dejun hums an unfamiliar tune to himself, hands in his pockets, eyes closed as he slowly sways back and forth.

he looks very peaceful, just doing what he does, being effortlessly pretty as he does so, and you observe his behavior, almost entranced by it in a sense.

you only stop when he speaks up—

"do you think they're still arguing?" he suddenly asks, and you snap out of whatever daze you were having, praying that he totally didn't notice you admiring him like a creep. "or are they just.. conversing calmly now?"

you don't want to seem like even much more of a weirdo, but you feel like he asked that question just as an excuse to talk to you, and maybe your thinking too much into it, but you've definitely done that before, so you know what it looks like.

"i hope they aren't still arguing" you answer, and dejun looks up at you, smiling. "that'd be a long ass time to argue".

"well they like arguing just to argue" dejun replies, fiddling with his necklace. "but they're harmless.. for the most part".

his delivery makes you laugh, and you look down at your shoes. "you're a very calm person, you know, the opposite of guanheng".

the sudden statement from dejun makes you look up at him once again, and this time, he's staring directly at you, as if he had been waiting to make eye contact with you the whole time. "calm?"

"well compared to my roommates you are" he giggles, and maybe he doesn't mean to, but he stares at so intensely that your legs feel shaky.

"who knows? maybe i'm a fraud" you tease, purposefully leaning closer to him so your words have an effect. dejun's eyes widen, and he lightly leans away from you, looking speechless. "you'd never know, though".

you don't know how you suddenly got so bold, or why you were so amused at the sight of dejun freaking out, you feel like some sort of genius for what you just did, and you snicker at yourself before leaning back.

dejun takes in a deep breath, looking like he's trying to fix himself. he clears his throat and stumbles through his next words. "i— uh.. you're such an idiot!" he decides to say, crossing his arms over his chest.

your not sure how the two of you became so casual in this amount of time, a few weeks ago, dejun wasn't such a regular figure in your life, and you were just any other college student doing their best to get by, not thinking about falling in love with a gorgeous oreo–haired man—

but you're also not complaining.

you aren't sure how you got so lucky, how it just happened that you could continue to spend time with the cute boy you met at a stupid football game simply because the two of you shared mutual friends, it's one of times guanheng's actually done you a favor, without even realizing it too!

"okay i'm sorry" you giggle, shoving your hands into your pockets, you once again begin taking from dejun's habits and sway back and forth. "seriously!"

"you're unbelievable" dejun exaggerates, rolling his eyes, but it wasn't serious, and you knew it wasn't serious. "but i meant what i said, your calm".

you raise an eyebrow at him, wanting to know more about the observations he has about you. "could you elaborate on that?" you don't mean to laugh, but you do, and it causes dejun to laugh too.

"you just.. seem content with what you have" he explains, but he doesn't explain it enough, so he continues. "like someone could get you a piece of paper as a birthday gift and you'd be pleased".

you laugh, hard, because he somehow managed to get you spot on. you almost feel like he is reading your mind, because he nailed you down with each word. "really? i guess i am like that".

"ah, so my prediction was right then!"

you laugh at how glad he is. "yeah, i am truly not that hard to please, gifts are gifts and if someone gets one for me, there's no use in being mad if the gift isn't something i like, at least they remembered to get me something!"

dejun stares at you for a specifically long time, looking you up and down. he stares at you with warm eyes, a gaze that seems so near and dear to his heart, a gaze so loving that it looked like he was about to get down on one knee and propose to you.

"i like any and all gifts" you continue.

"are there any specific kinds of gifts you like?"

dejun asks that question in a tone that makes it seem like he's totally not trying to sound suspicious, but he is totally asking you that question for a very specific reason.

guanheng must've told him something..

at least, that's what you assume, but dejun is patiently waiting for your answer, and you can't daydream the whole time about the true meaning of his words.

"i like books, plushies, music tapes, vinyl's, you know.. regular gifts that people like receiving".

dejun hums, as if he's noting down the information you're telling him in his mind, still, you don't say anything about his mannerisms, just keep it to yourself.

"are you noting down my reply?"

"i'm just keeping it in mind!" he says, smiling brightly at you. "just in case your special occasion comes up and i don't know what to get you".

oh! so guanheng definitely did tell him something..

"i mean— were friends! any gift from you will be a good gift".

at the word friends, dejun seems to pause, cogs in his brains turning as he tries to process your words. you don't understand why he would be trying to understand your words, because the two of you were clearly friends, did he think you two were something else?

you see the flash of disappointment on his face, but it quickly reverts back to a smile and he simply acts like nothing happened. "sorry, the word 'friends' just caught me off guard".

a lie..

how interesting.

"seriously though, i just want to get you a gift you'll appreciate forever".

but you're already enough for me— do you know how much you've changed my life?

your own thoughts manage to surprise you, because the words that you just told yourself in your own mind startle you enough that you make a judging face at yourself. luckily, dejun is turned away from you, so he doesn't notice.

"well that's thoughtful of you".

"i try my best.." he responds, finally looking back at you with that same loving stare, one that wants to lure you in and make you trip on your own feet.

for some reason, the two of you stop. there's an uncharacteristically long pause, like the world just decided to cease for a moment, and you both are completely stuck in place, just there, staring at each other.

dejun's eyes move, as if scanning your face like a camera, and they (of course) stop at your lips. he stares at them for what seems like forever, and it almost looks like he's restraining himself, but by the way he bites his bottom lip, it's clear—

he wants to kiss you.

and maybe there's a small voice at the back of his head that tells him to cut it out, because he almost immediately snaps out of whatever daze he was having, and clears his throat, his cheeks going a bright red.

"uh— sorry, yeah, um, we should get going" he says, shaking his head as he pulls his sleeves down.

"guanheng will yell at us if we're late".

okay, so he just decides to not talk about it? you want to ask him why he didn't just do it, because he clearly wanted to, but before you can even open your mouth, or get any words out, he grabs your hand and the two of you continue walking back to the group.

he doesn't say anything more, doesn't try to make anymore small talk, and while you do want to bring up what just happened there, you don't.

you just bask in the feeling of dejun's hands intertwined with your own.

it's a good feeling, you decide.

THAT MOMENT IS STUCK ON YOUR MIND for what seems like years. you can't get over it! how he was looking at you, how he clearly wanted to kiss you, but for some reason, decided to stop himself from doing so. you're not sure why you didn't just tell him that it was okay, that you would be completely fine with him kissing you, but you guess that you're just a complete idiot as well, because you just stayed silent throughout the whole thing, the two of you equally deciding in silence to not bring it up, just sitting next to each other in awkwardly for the rest of the night.

and yeah, it's become normal for dejun to constantly run through your mind these days, it's like he has his own subsection in your mind, dedicated to thoughts about him and him only, but it's like he's just become rampant in there ever since that.. thing he did (or should you say, didn't do, considering he decided to not kiss you when the opportunity was right there), maybe you should've pulled him in, maybe you should've (for once) been impulsive and done the first thing put to your mind.

and this crawls through your mind for days, then those days become a good week and a half. now— you and dejun aren't not talking or anything, it was just sort of difficult to look at him without thinking about that.

you're so into your thoughts these days, that you are much more spacey during your classes, at home, and somehow, guanheng picks up on your weird turn, which is crazy, because guanheng was the last person you expected to notice something like that, he usually never notices most things in front of him anyway.

"okay, what the fuck happened?" he decides to randomly drop it on you when he seems to have had enough, which is funny, because he's technically the person that started the whole thing.

you look up from your phone, blinking at him like he just said something out of this world. "hm?" he scoffs at your lack of a response, shoving your shoulder, which results in a glare from you.

"what happened?" he asks again, this time without the extra swear word, he makes himself comfortable on the other side of the couch. "you are acting weird" he points at you accusingly, like you'd just been accused of a crime and he was trying to figure out if you were truly suspicious.

"i don't know what your talking about.."

"stop stalling!" he complains, grabbing your arm and beginning to shake you back and forth. "tell me! you can't keep acting weird and just not tell me what's wrong".

now you want to tell him, but in your mind it sounds so stupid that you feel like guanheng would laugh at you the moment you uttered the first few words of your sentence. "you're going to laugh".

guanheng gasps, offended by your response, though it is true, he just wants to be dramatic. "i won't! i'm concerned! i'm being a good roommate and asking you what's wrong!"

so, you roll your eyes, taking a deep breath. "okay so hypothetically.." you begin, because you have no other idea how to start your sentence.

hypothetically just means = it was indeed not hypothetical!

"hypothetically, uh huh.." guanheng hums, understanding the true meaning your words have. "okay sorry, continue".

"let's just say that, hypothetically, i am totally in love with one of your best friends, and that friend totally wanted to kiss me but then chickened out last minute and like an idiot i didn't say anything and i have no idea how to go about it".

guanheng's eyes widen at your words, and his jaw almost drops. "hypothetically though" you add to the end of your sentence after a long pause.

"right right! hypothetically.." he nods, though he can't contain his look of excitement at the words. "and you didn't kiss him back!?"

you're almost knocked off the chair from how intense his yell is. you groan and cover your face with your hands, embarrassed and ashamed. "i didn't know how to bring it up and not be awkward!"

"just say 'hey dejun you could totally kiss me and it'd be fine because we are both mortifyingly in love with each other'!" guanheng shouts, louder than his previous words. he's always so straight up, and you almost wish you didn't tell him anything. "it's that easy!"

"it is not!" you shout in rebuttal, crossing your arms and frowning. your acting like guanheng at this point, but that's not what you're noticing at this very moment. "it's easy for you! you date people and you kiss people all the time! i don't do that!"

"excuses excuses!"

you're at a loss for words at his lackluster words, you once again, frown and turn away from him. "i'm sorry! i have never been hardcore in love with someone like this before! i don't know how to talk about it!"

guanheng looks like he's about to yell again, but he takes a deep breath and relaxes himself, leaning back in the couch. "okay, i'm sorry for yelling.."

"y/n, you really just need to tell him how you feel straight up, because if you keep stalling than none of you will end up confessing in the end and you'll both just be going through a loop of 'should we or should we not?'"

you blink, staring at guanheng for a good few minutes, honestly surprised. this is probably the best advice he's ever given you, usually, you’re the one that has to give him advice because he always ends up doing something stupid and has someone that wants to murder him because of that stupid thing he did.

"that was actually.. good advice" you reply, laughing at guanheng's eye roll. he just shoves you, making sure he does extra hard this time to get his point across.

"shut up! i always give good advice!"

"you usually don't give any advice at all.." you mutter, running a hand through your hair as you look away from your roommate, who just glares at you like you just committed a federal offense.

"say something again and i'm gatekeeping dejun from you!"

"your what!?"

at the sound of your shout, guanheng giggles as he scurries away, proud of himself for the words that escape his lips.

YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW YOU SOMEHOW LET guanheng drag you off to a party on a friday night where all you wanted to do is relax. parties have never truly been your thing, but that's because being surrounded by a bunch of drunk and high adults just isn't your idea of fun, you're also just not a big drinker, so the only reason you usually even end up at parties is to take guanheng home when he gets too drunk and can't fully articulate his thoughts. so, the fact that guanheng was somehow able to convince you to get out of the house and go to a party when you truly should've been at home, watching horrible sitcoms.

but no, you're here! and you can't leave without guanheng because if you did, he'd probably find a way to end up killing himself, or he'd say the wrong thing to the wrong person and would end up getting punched in the face.

so you find yourself in a familiar spot, your back against a wall as you stare at your phone, somehow able to ignore the hundreds of screaming drunk people that surround you, it's become a skill of yours, and you're not sure how exactly it developed, you've just become such a natural when it comes to ignoring others.

guanheng, of course, has already walked off to do his own thing, but not before reminding you of the advice he'd given you a few days prior, yelling at you to 'just tell the boy you like him!'

maybe his advice is burned into your brain, because now all you wish is that you were with dejun, talking about something stupid, or just talking.

and there must've been somebody listening in on your thoughts, because he suddenly walks around the corner, head whipping around like he's searching for someone.

your not trying to look at him, but he catches your gaze immediately, and he skips towards you like a kid in a candy store.

"hi" he greets, a little giggle to his words. his face is a shade of bright red as he giggles once again, though nothing's funny. "pretty".

he whispers the last word, with the intention of you not hearing it, but his mind must be too clouded for him to realize that he said it much louder than he thought he did, but you don't say anything, just hum.

"hello" you greet back, and he laughs once again, covering his hand with his mouth. "are you okay?"

a loud snicker leaves his lips, and he moves closer to you to link his arm with yours. he rests his head onto your arm, a content smile spreading across his face. "i'm drunk".

his honest answer makes you question his state for a moment, since when do drunk people admit that they're drunk? or maybe he's only just tipsy.. your not sure, but he's not acting like a totally sober person right now.

"are you sure?" you raise an eyebrow, dejun just responds with a small 'hmph', and he keeps your arm linked with his. "dejun".

"yes! i am!" he yells as rebuttal, shaking your arm a few times. "do you wanna smell my breath?"

"oh no no no" you reply, covering his mouth with your hand. he laughs at you, his cheeks as pink as yangyang's hair, he grabs your hands, and whilst yours are cold, his are burning hot. "okay you have energy".

"i'm sorry" he suddenly blurts, another snort escaping his lips as he leans his head against your chest. you give him a look, confused as to why he felt the need to apologize.

"for what?"

"for doing that thing" dejun responds, closing his eyes as he sways back and forth. "i probably made everything awkward, i didn't mean to".

that's what he thinks? he thinks that he made everything awkward? you feel your heart break at the realization, but all dejun does is laugh sadly.

"you didn't— you didn't make everything awkward, it's okay".

dejun laughs again, clearing his throat. "just tell the truth, y/n.."

you chuckle, not at dejun, just at his words. he wants you to tell the truth? fine.. you will!

"dejun" you begin, using your pointer finger to tilt his chin up so the two of you make eye contact, you watch as his eyes widen, but he doesn't move, just lets you do your thing. "you can kiss me, it's okay".

he blinks, as if trying to figure out if you were lying or not. he opens his mouth, but no words come out, so he closes it again. "it is?" he asks again, just wanting reassurance, you hear his voice crack, but he's getting impatient, he wants your answer.

"yeah it's fine".

that's all the conformation dejun seems to need, because he finally presses his lips to yours after what seems like years of waiting. your arms naturally rest on his waist, and there's just something, something about this that makes you smile.

there's an urgency in the way he kisses you, and his hand comes up to hold your face. he is just so desperate, and it would be a lie to say that you weren't just as desperate as he is. you'd been wanting this for so long, you don't even know how many times you thought about what it would be like to kiss dejun.

his fingers caress your cheek, and the contact feels like your skin was set ablaze. maybe this is what you needed, and you assume it's exactly what dejun needed to, because he pushes on your shoulder with a seemingly inhumane amount of force, which makes you gasp a little.

while your one arm is around his waist, the other one goes up to run your fingers through his hair, somehow causing the two of you to both smile, barely stifling your laughs.

after what seems like forever, dejun pulls away, and while you're standing there, breathless, he just smiles, relaxing as you play with his hair. "you like my hair?"

you aren't sure why out of all things, that's what he decides to ask, but you laugh, completely enamored by the boy in front of you. "yep, it's soft" you reply, biting your inner cheek. "the color suits you".

dejun tilts his head, looking up at you with his insanely pretty eyes. you just want to squish his cheeks, or wrap him in a blanket and hold him forever, you aren't sure why you just have this surge of loving emotions for absolutely no reason, maybe it's the way he's staring at you, or that he just left you breathless and did it so flawlessly.

he hums, not knowing how to respond to your compliment. he just suddenly gets shy, his ears turning red at your words.

"you're so stupid.."

that's probably his favorite phrase to say to you by now, but you don't mind, you just smile as he hides his face away from you. 

"dejun" you call out despite him being right in front of you, and he looks up at you again, gaze warm as he gives you a small smile.

"yes?"

"i love you" you immediately spout, not even surprised by how high your voice has gotten. "like— in the i'm in love with you kinda way and not in a i just want you to kiss you but not call you my boyfriend kinda way".

dejun pauses, snickering at your words, he looks at you like you're the only person in the world.

what other way could there possibly be?

but you don't get any response, at least, not from him, because all he does is lean forward and press his lips to yours.

YOU'VE NEVER REALLY BEEN A FAN OF YOUR BIRTHDAY, and you aren't sure why. it used to be a fun thing up until you turned twelve and it suddenly felt like a switch had flipped, as if your birthday was making you miserable. now it's not like you always feel depressed on your birthday, it's just that sometimes you don't want to have a huge birthday celebration. most of the time— you only request for huge birthday bashes on specific days, like when you turned ten (you were very excited about becoming a double–figured age), or when you turned eighteen (you became an adult, not that exciting but it was definitely something, you could finally legally drink), but it's truly only specific days that you don't mind having large, people–filled birthday parties.

and not only were you not exactly anticipating your birthday, you already had something even bigger on your mind the whole time.

like dejun ghosting you! that's definitely one!

okay so you tell the guy you love him, you make out with him at a party (in the opposite order but oh well), he doesn't give you a response and then he decides to just ignore you?

maybe he just didn't know what to say, and that also lead to him just not picking up his phone for a good two weeks as he completely ignored your calls and texts and voicemails!

and with this being the only thing on your mind, your birthday seemed to be the least important event at the moment.

you didn't really want to think about it, and the campus was starting to make you feel sick, so this year you planned on visiting your parents after the day was over, considering your special day fell on a friday—

but guanheng, guanheng had other plans.

he practically begged you to let him throw the party for you, he wanted to do it so bad that he vowed to never ask you for a favor ever again (which is a lie! he never keeps his promises!), he was acting so desperate, it was like you'd just saved his life or something.

you're not sure what made guanheng so eager to throw a party for you, especially because you just didn't know what you would do with a bunch of people in your dorm.

but he insisted, he would throw you the best party in the world.

and after what seemed like forever, you two finally agreed on something—

you go visit your parents friday evening, and guanheng throws your party on saturday, easy!

"what do you mean strawberry isn't a good flavor!?"

you scoff at his question, nodding your head, as if confirming your words. "i don't like strawberry flavored things, you get me a strawberry cake and i'm making you sleep outside".

your threat results in a gasp from your roommate, who looks genuinely hurt by your words as he places a hand on his chest, horrified. "you are such a horrible roommate! threatening me when i'm throwing a party for you".

"it'll be a horrible party if you get me a horribly flavored cake".

you totally mean what you say as well— you truly dislike strawberry cake.

and when guanheng said party, you didn't exactly anticipate how many people he would decide to let into your dorm.

now you know a good chunk of these people, but most of these people probably decided to come just because they knew guanheng, all they did was utter some happy birthday's and then they ran off to do their own thing.

guanheng got most things right, he just invited a bunch of people that really didn't care for your birthday, just wanted to be around him.

so it's no surprise that you felt just a little disappointed about the people at your party that just didn't give two shits about your actual birthday.

and guanheng was off doing something else, though you could actually see him this time, he was telling people where to put the gifts they brought for you.

your beginning to feel suffocated in your own dorm, which is ironic to you, because this is quite literally the place you go to get away from a bunch of people, it's the only place of yours that isn't full of people.

so, you clear your throat, and push through people to get to the door, not wanting to stay inside with all these people, you'll probably end up throwing up everywhere if you stay inside even longer.

when you exit the dorm, you take a deep breath the moment you close the door, letting your back fall against it. you immediately jump as you see a person behind the door—

okay so dejun (who you confessed your love to by the way!), is pacing back and forth in front of your door, totally stressing. you blink, a look of confusion spreading across your face. "um.."

"are you okay?"

you aren't even sure why you opened your mouth, but if you didn't, this would just go on for a good twenty more minutes.

dejun jumps, clearing his throat as he smiles awkwardly. "you— scared the shit out of me".

he's acting so casually? after not talking to you for a good two weeks!?

"sorry—"

"i'm sorry!"

dejun immediately yells, covering his face with his hands. "i'm so sorry for not texting you! or calling you! or giving you a response! it was so stupid of me to not consider your feelings and instead of just telling you straight up how i felt i decided to ignore you but i was scared that i wouldn't be able to tell you without making it awkward and it—"

"dejun" you place your hands on his shoulders, turning him around to face you. "your rambling".

he sighs, eyes darting away from your face, he frowns. "but it's not okay, i didn't talk to you, i probably came off as such an asshole! you were probably so confused, and i just.. said nothing!"

you observe his features, and he looks even more anxious at your silence. his face goes red, and his leg begins bouncing up and down, whilst his hands look for something to hold.

"okay, calm down.." you mutter, reaching for his left hand and lacing it together with yours. "it's okay, there's no need to be worried".

"i'm sorry" he says again, finally looking up at you. "i get it if you don't forgive me—"

"dejun" you cut into his sentence, squeezing his left hand. "i forgive you.. i love you".

you repeat your confession once more, and dejun blinks, processing your words.

"i love you too".

and finally, after what seems like forever, after what was so long, he gave you a response.

before you could say anything more, dejun pulls you in for a hug, his arms circling around your waist. you're a bit taken aback by the sudden display of affection, but you also don't mind, because he squeezes you tighter.

"happy birthday" he mumbles, a small smile coming to his face as he feels your hand comb through his hair. "i'm sorry".

"stop apologizing" you say, lifting his chin up so you could look him in the eyes. "i forgive you, it's okay".

and it is, you're being completely honest, but dejun doesn't say more, immediately pulling you back into a warm hug

but suddenly, the door to your dorm swings open and guanheng peaks his head out, eyes widening as he witnesses the current thing. he has absolutely no context to anything which was happening at the moment, he just opened the door to witness a totally unaware dejun hugging you.

"uh.." he blinks, glancing between you two, but not asking anything, just clearing his throat. "it's time to cut the cake?" he laughs awkwardly, and you just smile, giving him a i'll be right there look.

"o...kay" he doesn't say anything more, just goes back inside and closes the door.

dejun giggles as guanheng closes the door, pulling away again to look up at you. "oh he is totally tired of us".

"we didn't do anything, though".

dejun snickers, lightly hitting your arm. "okay okay, you need to stop, it's your birthday, you have to go cut your cake".

"and.." he pauses, pulling a box out of nowhere and handing it over to you. "open your gifts".

you raise an eyebrow, confused. "where were you even hiding that?"

"that's irrelevant! it's your birthday, come on!"

and you let him drag you back into your dorm, smiling at him the whole time.

YOU ALMOST CONSIDER THE WAY YOU are acting to be absurd, and it's funny how much of another side dejun can just bring out of you. now you would never consider yourself to be a grumpy person, but people usually do describe you as having a 'natural frown'. you never really thought of yourself as being like that, but you guess that people don't see you look so happy much, because they continue to point out how it's like some glitch in the matrix to see you just a little less miserable as each day passes. chenle especially makes comments, talking about how you need to "put your smile away" because not seeing your resting face constantly freaks him out, renjun on the other hand, is elated, or maybe he's just glad he can finally be rid of you, you don't know.

but all that put aside, you are happy, and you have a cute oreo–haired man to thank for that.

and maybe this is all you really need, just dejun, the two of you don't even have to do anything, he can just lay his head down onto your shoulder and you'd be having a good time.

you like it when he sits down and paints your nails for you, or when he watches you bake over your shoulder, not knowing what to do but happy to watch you do your thing, or when he coerces you to win prizes from carnival games for him with his absolutely adorable eyes (he doesn't even need to try to coerce you, you'd do it either way).

"i'm pretty sure this is illegal".

"it's not!" you reply, though you mean to reassure dejun, your words seem to worry him more than anything. you take his hand, squeezing it. "dejun, i'm not getting you into any illegal activity".

"i can never tell with you" he retorts suspiciously, keeping your hand in his as you lead him up, he would have tripped if not for you holding your hand and guiding you up.

you clear your throat, patting the spot beside you as dejun immediately sits, so close to you that your legs are touching. "if i ever wanted to do something illegal, i'd know better than to bring you along".

he gasps, and you can't resist the urge to laugh at how offended he sounds. "what is that supposed to mean!?"

"you" your pointer finger touches his nose, and he doesn't even try to move. "are a snitch, you would be horrible to commit a crime with".

dejun slaps your hand away, and you laugh at the way he crosses his arms, a familiar pout gracing his absolutely beautiful features. "you— i.. take that back!"

"it's true! even yangyang would be a better option than you!"

dejun is even more offended by the words, and he slowly scoots away from you, arms still crossed as he pouts. you giggle as he remains scooted away from you, still angry about the words you said.

"uh— jun, i was just joking!"

"you suck".

dejun glares, but his glare is anything but serious, as you can see the way he slowly starts to break under your gaze, resisting the urge to burst into laughter. "i hate you".

"you love me".

he does, and he can't pretend he doesn't, because he almost immediately snickers, looking away from you as to not laugh more.

oh he is just so adorable.

you scoot closer to him and wrap your arms around his waist, making him yelp. "you're so cute" you mutter into his shoulder, and at this point, dejun doesn't even try to pretend anymore.

"you're so corny" he says, patting your arms that currently circle around his waist. you lean your head down onto his shoulder, making yourself comfortable, and he just lets you, because at this point he can't really push you off him.

"don't fall asleep, i'm not going to carry you back to your place".

"you would be too weak to carry me anyway— ow!"

you yell loudly as dejun nudges you in the stomach with his elbow, and while he looks absolutely proud of himself, you just glare, absolutely done with him.

but you don't say anything, just lets your fingers run through his hair, probably your favorite thing to do with him. he just cups your face, and he just smiles at your face, giggling. "your just as cute as when we first met".

the statement makes you snicker, because you did not expect for him to say that out of all things he could've said. you get why he says it though, because you are at the place where it all began, the bleachers, the same bleachers where you two were standing when you shared your first interaction.

you tilt your head, wanting to tease him more. "so there were moments where i wasn't cute, then?"

dejun scoffs, turning away from you. he lightly pinches your arm, and you yelp once again, inching away from him. "why do you enjoy hurting me?"

he smiles innocently. "i don't, i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about!"

your face drops, and all dejun does is laugh, squeezing your cheeks. "don't be mad, babe, you know i love you".

and you do, you do know, he never fails to remind you of how much he does.

"i love you too.."

with your eye rolls, and tiny mutters, dejun knows, he knows that you're telling the truth.

[jesuistrestriste]

The other posts before just kink shaming people. Calling people weirdos and creeps and that the authorities should be called and some how writing men squirting, "because its not biologically possible" is in the same category as well like damn have abit of whimsy

helloo !

so i guess a user who follows me, or used to follow me, is posting on their acc snippets of my work and talking about how im weird and gross (as well as some other unspecified challengers writers) bc i wrote about ‘puppy’ stuff and ‘men squirting’. they blurred out my user but my writing was directly referenced.

they basically likened the puppy play stuff to sexualizing real animals, and said that it was also creepy to write about men squirting bc it’s not ‘biologically possible’

i don’t wanna make this into a big deal, bc it’s genuinely not, but i’m responding to it to hopefully give this individual some clarification and also to defend the users who actually enjoy this type of kink content (bc i do too)

so. first of all — puppy play. i, for one, in the particular drabble they screenshotted, do not have the reader treating art like an actual dog. the reader only calls art ‘puppy’ and he is submissive. those are literally the only two things involved that are similar to puppy play. however, many people enjoy/write about other more direct aspects of puppy play, like collaring and leashing and etc, and that does NOT mean they like sexualizing real animals. it is NOT bestiality. i’m going to assume that the user in question who likened it to bestiality is not informed on what puppy play actually is/represents, and just took the concept of calling someone ‘puppy’ = sexualizing dogs and ran with it. that’s definitely not what it is, and i certainly was not writing it that way. for many, puppy play is simply about the power dynamics of it all. do i enjoy puppy play in its entirety? no, not really (i like certain bits and pieces), but i respect those who do. it also goes without saying that i do not advocate for or support the sexualization of real animals in any way shape or form ..? that’s disgusting.

— more info below the cut —

second of all — squirting. men squirting is possible, just the same as how women squirting is possible. if you don’t believe me, look it up on pornhub lol; it’s definitely possible. to my knowledge, the anatomical/bodily processes that allow someone to squirt are the exact same ones involved in. well. peeing. like. if you can pee, you have the anatomy necessary to be able to squirt. i’m mid-writing this and i can’t believe im talking in depth about what squirting is and how it works. help. but yea, is squirting = pee ? no. no, it’s not (controversial lol). but even if it was, some people are into that. no need to yuck someone else’s yum. you’re entitled to your opinion though. if you don’t enjoy it/understand it and think it’s ‘creepy’, that’s cool too ! idc—it’s your life! do what you want !

third of all — i read their post and they also talked about how it’s weird to write about puppy!stuff because some users (i don’t know if they were talking about me in this instance or just some writers on challengers tumblr in general) are writing about ‘real men’ and that these men should be ‘calling the authorities’. i know for me, im not writing about mike faist in a puppy play context. im writing about art donaldson. a fictional man. and i promise you, art donaldson will not be reading my stuff. and for that matter, neither will mike faist. that man wants nothing to do with social media, let alone tumblr (rip to his tumblr era though).

bottom line, kink shaming is not cool. it’s not fun, it’s not kind, it’s not cute, it’s not very demure.

some people use kinks as an escape from harsh aspects of their reality like past trauma, etc. or to process those traumas. that being said, you are 1000% allowed to not like something. that is your business ! but posting about someone’s work and making grotesque claims about their character and what they stand for based on smut writing is very odd. i do not appreciate it !

i am in no way trying to attack/hate on the person who made the posts, but i think it’s important to try to address stuff like this and educate those who may be confused or misinterpreting. to the user who made the posts: i hope you have a good day, and i hope this clears things up ! if you see this and want to talk more about it, my dms are open. all love.

UPDATE: i was just informed that the user in question used to write for (tw) school shooters and apparently cleared all evidence of it from their account except for some lingering tags.

i take it all back ! ! as someone who has experienced the effects of a school shooting + has been in a uni community targeted and affected by an act of gun violence, that is absolutely disgusting, and you can rot ! seek therapy ! :)

[inesbaby21]

Hello how do you feel about writing fluffy headcannons about Ashlynn Shade.

I literally love Ashlynn! soooo 1000% (i also have a picture of her framed on my dresser but ntm ..)

ASHLYNN SHADE FLUFFY HCS !!

Sweetest Gf ever I swear!

Always offering to carry things for you/Buy you lunch/dinner whenever you two go out!

Her end goal is to make sure you feel loved, and she does that with gift giving, lotsssss of quality time, study dates etc

Ashlynn and Photographer!Reader is sending my head in spiralssss

Social Media manger! Gf who has the best pregame/Post game pictures of Ashlynn and the girls!

She's giving me big spoon vibes- with the exception of a bad game, and she just needs a little extra love 💕

Like actually the most photogenic couple EVER.

Definitely having to teach her tiktok dances tho .. baby has nooo rhythm.

I'm also seeing Photographer!Reader with a thickkk southern accent ! Idk Ashlynn just looks like she could decode the accent well :)

Definitely meeting Ashlynn's Family/ and she's wayyyy more nervous than you

She's so clingyyyy- but not in an annoying way she just wants to live in your skin! and honestly it's vise versa!!

Definitely had to convince you that country music was actually goooood .. but thats bae so you can see it through !

Loves, Loves, Loves when you do her makeup! Even if it's something simple she loves it!!

Shes so sun-kissed I can't get over that- definitely going on morning runs/ workouts together bc she wants to share something she loves with you

Shared playlist/sharing airpods on team bus rides to away games

Definitely gets the other option you were stuck on food wise- so you two can try both (she always ends up liking what you got more)

Most smiley couple EVER. Now you two definitely do argue- but neither of you ever walk away/ let the other go to bed angry

Very cry baby couple during arguments- she says something a little off, so now you're crying and now she's crying because she feels super bad :(

Definitely matching outfits on game days/ just in general baby lovessss to match

A/N okok guysss this was VERY short- and on the spot .. buttt im getting some more requests out asap!! i love you guysss- and im spending allll weekend catching up writing wise bc band camp has been literally kicking my ass in 20 different directions.. and i use writing to get through thattt so please DO expect some more work in the upcoming hours/days :)

[mononijikayu]

kayu's playlist - side 1000;

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Sukuna muttered, taking a sip of his drink. “Just thinking.” “That’s a first from you, hm.”  Uraume teased, earning a snort from Gojo. “Come on, spill it!” Gojo pressed, leaning forward with that infuriatingly playful grin. “Is it a girl? I don’t mind if it’s a guy, I know you swing that way too! Oh, wait… don’t tell me it’s the girl.”

【ｓｉｄｅ １０００ ｆｏｒ　ｙｏｕ(๛ ˘ ³˘ )♡】

hello, this is kayu!!! wow, i never expected at all that i'll ever hit 1000 follows on here. it's quite a lot for me, because to know that you enjoy my little silliness in writing - it fulfills me everyday especially when im down and when im not feeling like myself. i was quite beside myself but im glad that i can have the honor of writing for you and me and enjoying them together. things are better when enjoyed together and i hope we never forget that. this side 1000 playlist was done with the help of you guys and your preferences. i absolutely adore polls because i get to know you guys too, because what you like makes me think too!!! so the top three that won this time are gojo satoru, ryomen sukuna and fushiguro megumi. the other ones would come up in the future (if i end up picking the idea up again) - but knowing me, i will have more ideas in the future. so remind me if you liked the other ideas and i'll write it!!! also, i might start writing for other anime and shows too. so please look forward to that. if you have any suggestion for other shows, please give them!!! my inbox is always open for you~ in any case, i hope you enjoy my little gift and my thanks for your love and affection towards me. i am nothng without my dear friends and lovely readers. i love you all!!! i'll see you at the fic drops <3 xoxoxoxoxo kayu

real kayu bowing to all of you!!!

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𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊 —

𝚐𝚘𝚓𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚞

╚═════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═════╝

​🇸​​🇪​​🇹​ ​🇦​ ​🇹​​🇷​​🇦​​🇵​ ​🇳​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇮​​🇳​ ​

🇾​​🇴​​🇺​​🇷​ ​🇴​​🇷​​🇩​​🇮​​🇳​​🇦​​🇷​​🇾​ ​🇱​​🇴​​🇻​​🇪​ ​🇮​​🇫​ ​ 🇮​ ​🇫​​🇮​​🇳​​🇩​ ​ 🇹​​🇭​​🇪​ ​

🇸​​🇲​​🇦​​🇱​​🇱​​🇪​​🇸​​🇹​ ​🇨​​🇷​​🇦​​🇨​​🇰​, ​🇮​❜​🇱​​🇱​ ​🇨​​🇦​​🇹​​🇨​​🇭​ ​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​

ᴡʜᴇʀᴇɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴜᴋᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴊᴏ, ɢᴏᴊᴏ ꜱᴀᴛᴏʀᴜ, ꜰɪɴᴅꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴍᴀᴅɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ ʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱ. ꜰᴏʀʙɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴀꜱ ɪᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ʙᴇ, ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴀꜱ ɪᴛ ᴍᴀʏ ʙᴇ, ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ. ʜᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ, ʜɪꜱ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴅᴜᴄʜᴇꜱꜱ. ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.

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𝚊𝚖𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚊 —

𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚞𝚗𝚊

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​🇮​​🇹​❜​🇸​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇰​​🇪​ ​🇼​​🇪​ ​🇳​​🇪​​🇻​​🇪​​🇷​ ​

🇭​​🇦​​🇵​​🇵​​🇪​​🇳​​🇪​​🇩​, ​🇼​​🇦​​🇸​ ​🇮​​🇹​ ​

🇯​​🇺​​🇸​​🇹​ ​🇦​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇪​? ​🇮​​🇫​ ​🇼​​🇭​​🇦​​🇹​ ​🇼​​🇪​ ​🇭​​🇦​​🇩​ ​🇼​​🇦​​🇸​ ​

🇷​​🇪​​🇦​​🇱​, ​🇭​​🇴​​🇼​ ​🇨​​🇴​​🇺​​🇱​​🇩​ ​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​ ​

🇧​​🇪​ ​🇫​​🇮​​🇳​​🇪​? ❜​🇨​​🇦​​🇺​​🇸​​🇪​ ​🇮​❜​🇲​ ​🇳​​🇴​​🇹​ ​🇫​​🇮​​🇳​​🇪​ ​

🇦​​🇹​ ​🇦​​🇱​​🇱​

ᴡʜᴇʀᴇɪɴ ꜰɪᴠᴇ ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ ʜᴀꜱ ᴘᴀꜱꜱᴇᴅ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ʀʏᴏᴍᴇɴ ꜱᴜᴋᴜɴᴀ ʜᴀꜱɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴇɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜ. ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴇᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴏᴄᴇʀʏ ꜱᴛᴏʀᴇ, ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ʜɪᴍ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ꜱᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ.

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𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔 —

𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚐𝚞𝚖𝚒​

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​🇾​​🇴​​🇺​’​🇷​​🇪​ ​🇸​​🇴​ ​🇵​​🇷​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇾​ ​🇵​​🇷​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇾​ ​🇵​​🇷​​🇪​​🇹​​🇹​​🇾​ ​🇧​​🇺​​🇹​ ​🇼​​🇭​​🇾​ ​🇦​​🇲​ ​🇮​ ​🇱​​🇮​​🇰​​🇪​ ​🇹​​🇭​​🇮​​🇸​? ​🇮​ ​🇸​​🇱​​🇪​​🇪​​🇵​ ​🇦​​🇳​​🇩​ ​🇰​​🇮​​🇨​​🇰​ ​🇲​​🇾​ ​🇧​​🇱​​🇦​​🇳​​🇰​​🇪​​🇹​​🇸​ ​🇦​​🇷​​🇴​​🇺​​🇳​​🇩​

ᴡʜᴇʀᴇɪɴ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴀʏ ʏᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴍᴇɢᴜᴍɪ ᴀɴᴅ ꜰɪɴᴅꜱ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ʜᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꜰᴏʀᴇᴠᴇʀ.

[vitaminkyeom]

OMG CONGRATULATIONS ON 1000 FOLLOWERS! YOU'RE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER I EAT UP EVERYTHING YOU WRITE KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE

woozi + grey for the event? idk i feel like he suits the grey shade lol

PAIRING || Jihoon x Female Reader

GENRES || Angst

WARNINGS || none

WORD COUNT || 0.7k

A/N || NO YOU'RE TOO SWEET BOOHOO THANK YOU SO SO MUCH and im so sorry this is so late 😔 i hope you like it still 1k followers event [if you want to be added to the event taglist send an ask!]

TAGLIST || @romeosbreastmilk @y00nzin0 @cecedrake2217  @candidupped @ashkuuuu @hanicore @alyssng @weebotakuboy @angelfeverdream @aaniag @sea-moon-star  @thepoopdokyeomtouched @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hrts4hanniehae @athanasiasakura @doubleshoticedshakenespresso  @mrswonwooo @asasilentreader @isabellah29 @nonononranghaee @scoupside @prpldahy @amethyistheart @mnstxmnbb [if you want to be added to my taglist, fill in this form!]

[21:08]

jihoon watched you from the floor to ceiling window of his art class as you played with the small kitten, a soft smile tugging at your lips. even though it was raining harshly, you made sure your umbrella was covering the small kitten more than you, thus drenching your back completely.

he felt the now familiar jump of his heart as he watched you cuddle the kitten, feeling his cheeks heat up when he realised he was staring. quickly looking away from you and to his half done canvas instead, jihoon wondered what had gotten into him to be mesmerised by you.

you were just another girl, who always came around this time to feed the little kitten that lived near his art class.

you were just another girl who smiled and played with the said kitten even though he observed that you always ended up scraping your knees against the gravel. 

you were just another girl who was so kind, and sweet, and pretty that you were willing to risk your health just so that ‘meowy’ (as you had named it) could be given her food.

and you were just another girl who’s laughter carried through the glass window of his class and slowly began pulling at his heart strings, until he was completely pulled into the sea of feelings for you, never realised when he had started drowning.

so what had gotten into jihoon that he had fallen in love with a complete stranger; with you?

as he watched you take out some cat food from your sling bag, he wondered if he should just give you his umbrella which was next to the door right now. or should he just rush and leave it beside without saying a word, acting nonchalantly like he was just doing this because he saw you getting drenched and not because he was just a dork trying to get your number?

what had soonyoung said? grab the opportunity? jihoon really wasn’t sure if this was the opportunity his best friend was talking about, but maybe he should just give it a shot. if things went wrong (like it usually did whenever he tried confessing to someone) he could just pretend it had slipped from his hand.

he glanced one last time at his canvas before getting up. funny how he was painting a grey rainy scene because the rain always made him feel sombre and empty, but people also said it was romantic, so maybe this was a sign.

maybe when he came back from dropping off his umbrella…he could paint in some other brighter colours. 

as he began getting up from his chair, he saw someone run towards you through the corner of his eyes. he froze as he watched the said person pull you off your feet and cover you with an umbrella before beginning to scold you, all the while you laughed.

jihoon watched the scene for a few seconds until the newcomer gave up scolding you, a smile breaking on his face instead. and then leaning down, he gently kissed you on your lips.

he felt every single muscle in his body tighten as his stomach dropped from an incredible height, a suffocating feeling taking over his chest. he could feel bile threatening to rise up his throat as his head spun.

jihoon could feel his mind literally shattering as he felt his heart stop beating. what- what was happening? you had a…boyfriend? 

as he watched the two of you walk away slowly in the rain, fond gazes at each other, he felt tears sting his eyes.

oh.

finally his legs gave away and he fell back onto his chair, still reeling from the shock.

the feeling of throwing up was getting stronger and stronger as he tried wrapping his mind around what he had just seen, the salty tears that he was holding back threatening to choke him. 

he sat there for some time, exhaling and inhaling harshly to get control of his body once more.

why was he crying? he wondered. shouldn’t he be happy for you? you were being loved by someone as you deserved so shouldn’t the fact that you were happy be enough for him? 

but he wished…that it was him who was making you happy. 

by the time he had the courage to look up at the window again, you were gone. the rain had slowed down to a drizzle and he could see the sun rays peeking out of the clouds. his eyes drifted back to the grey canvas. maybe it should stay like this.

© 𝐆𝐘𝐔-𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

[ueidesign]

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS ?

Because i saw someone on X putting these two pic next to each other, and i couldn't stop thinking about it all day and had to write a loooonnngg paragraph to explain how beautiful and well considered these covers are

i see hidden meaning all over it, and im screaming!

In the first one (Mimir Yamato), all the other members are awake, some are chatting , some are just staring at the camera WHILE two members are looking else where, which is the sleeping Yama, and as u can see in the pic up there, These two are Riku and Mitsu

And this is insane cuz u know well my fellow i7 lovers how important Mitsu was in Yamato's character development, so it makes a lot of sense that he is genuinely worried about him (BESTIES FR)

As for Riku , im not so sure about it, so feel free to correct me if it's wrong

Riku has always received some kind of different treatment from Yamato , and we see that a lot if u rewatch the series like me for 1000 times

So naturally, Riku would also feel the same way as Yamato does toward him !

Another thing to add about Riku is that both he and Yamato are VERY important members to the group

Riku being the center - Yama being the leader

Hence, they both burden a lot of pressure in keeping the group together

As for the second pic, the memebers are all asleep while Yamato is wide awake (being silly and bad boy)

Refrencing how serious he is in keeping his friend protected, away from harm even in their weakness (sleeping)

Not to forget

That Yamato indeeed was ready to leave the group behind just to keep them safe from all the bad gossip and reputation they would gain if his "secret" was to get exposed

Last point I would like to add,and it is more like a simple comparison

In the first pic the colors are soft and pastely

Showing i7 idol image of being a lively fun and innocent group

However, in the second one (Yamato's center song album pic), it has Yama own characteristic in it only, which is a dark gloomy adult like theme

I don't want to go into too much depth into the colours cuz i won't shutup then

But to keep it short , dark colors tend to have some heavy meanings to them

And from the way i analyse this , isn't this how Yamato views celebrities, unpure fake, and complete liers...

Btw im very normal about Yamato

Don't mind me , just a humble designer passing by

[gingerjolover]

hiii mama g!!! it’s my birthday today and so i’ve been thinking about what julien would be like on soft!gf’s birthday. first off, BIRTHDAY POST!!! (i’m taking her birthday post for herself into consideration while typing this) i think it’d be a slideshow of pictures, a couple that she’s taken of you and a couple that the boys or members of muna have taken of you. she’d definitely write a lengthy paragraph where every sentence is articulate and sooo meaningful to the point where it’s like your heart beats abnormally faster as you continue to read because she’s just SOOOO!!!!!!

secondly, i don’t really Imagine julien and soft!gf as hugeeee party people, so i don’t think they’d stay up at the strike of midnight waiting for soft!gf’s birthday. instead, i think julien wakes up at the crack of dawn, and obviously she knows how to cook, so she makes not only the most pleasing breakfast JUST to look at, but the most delicious breakfast for the both of them. so then soft!gf wakes up to julien, who’s already smiling ear to ear holding a tray table and setting it down before just peppering you with kisses and saying happy birthday in between each kiss I CANTTTTT IM FEELING ALL FUZZY shes so cutesie

and 24/7 on your bday, acts of service julien just never stops. she does every minor thing you’re so capable of doing for you. finished your breakfast? julien’s already taken it to the kitchen and washing the dishes. dropped something? she’s bent down to grab it for you. also, even though she already does this, she makes sure to open every single door for you, pull out the chair you’re gonna sit at, open the car door for you… like she is ON IT!

and then after having made sure she’s done (almost……) everything in her power to ensure that the day was all about you, there’s just oneeee more thing she was waiting to do to realllyyyy show how much she loves you…….. you get the VIBES! won’t say too much on that cause i’ve already talked your ear off and once i start, i won’t be able to stop BUT YEAHHHH JULIEN ON SOFT!GF’S BDAY ☹️☹️☹️💘

first off, HAPPY BDAY BABY!!!!! I hope you had SUCH a great day<3

and you are soooooooo right, i fully believe that acts of service is julien’s main love language (i have a blurb coming up about love languages for munagenius) and your birthday is the PERFECT excuse for her to literally wait on you hand and foot

as for the insta post i think you’re 1000% right and i can literally imagine julien scrolling through her album of you (of pics she’s taken but also ones that she’s been sent of you from muna or the boys or mutual friends) she would be so fucking picky about which photos to post making sure they encapsulate your personality perfectly and you’re right the post would be so beautiful and so heartwarming 😭 i think she would take the time to post the pics of your initials on her finger or a tattoo she got for you with you like posing cheekily with a thumbs up next to her or something

and i agree, unless it was a big birthday i can’t imagine them throwing a party but maybe if your best friend was in town or maybe your family or if it was a bigger bday and the boys, muna, kelli and ally and other friends wanted to do something for you it would still be super lowkey and julien would spend the whole day with you beforehand

she gives off the vibes of like if you open your door yourself she leans over, closes it and then runs to your side of the car like a bullet and then opens it, she def gets grumbly when you try and do stuff yourself

and I GET THE VIBES BABE I DO, i think she would just want it to be extra special and do everything you wanna do (she def makes a birthday sex playlist with an obsecure name i will die on this hill)

i also wanted to add she def wants to do everything for you on your bday, i think canonically soft!gf and julien don’t exchange gifts, like not big ones, mainly because they both do a lot of little things throughout the year, but julien ALWAYS spoils you on your bday, its usually stuff that’s practical but she loves to get you little things to watch you open in bed when your hair is all messy and eyes are sleepy, you’re like holding the covers up over your chest and she’s rubbing your back as you unwrap a bunch of little presents 🥹

[gamblersdoll]

ITS THE MATTER OF IT.

Chapter 2

there is no way you're here, you damned woman.

you never thought your life could change simply because you existed. after all, you were just a person.

"so.. uhhh. I'm yuuji itadori." he chuckled awkwardly, putting his hand on the back of his head as he smiled warmly.

you would've taken it as weird, but it rolled off your mind very quickly- maybe even too quick.

"y/n." you said blankly. you still felt like you were being watched, but by another pair of eyes. you could tell it was gojo.

how he could even look at you through a blindfold was beyond you. but you eventually figured it out– he's satoru gojo after all.

nobara and megumi had been excused for that moment, something you caught onto, and yuuji was oblivious to it. you turned your focus onto the slits on his cheekbones under his eyes. maybe a bad fight and they somehow landed in the same place? by coincidence? whatever.

"im... also a vessel for a cursed spirit. sukuna." he said in a defeated tone.

oh.

oh.

" so... a parasite?" you tried to joke, but it came out more as a insult or a "i wish for instant death." thing.

"ohoho.. youre bold." gojo said, laughing in amusement.

you didn't really understand on what he meant, until someone chimed in.

"you still have got that damn attitude." the voice said, it didn't bother you until you looked over at yuuji to see some form of a mouth and red pupil on his cheek— replacing the slits.

"so.. I'm taking it as that's sukuna? hold on– I still have a attitude?? we just met." you said, folding your arms. "gojo? you have people watching me?" you asked, deciding on if you should fend for your life or should you ignore it.

"no no. sukuna knows you!" gojo smiled, putting a hand on your shoulder in friendliness.

".... and how is that??" you asked, pinching his index finger off of your shoulder. yuuji also looked at him, confused since he's quite literally never met you before.

"because, you're a reincarnation of someone he knew before he was a cursed spirit.. duhhhh." he said in a matter-of-factly tone. it would've irritated you if he hadn't just said the king of curses knows you.

you and yuuji looked at him in disbelief, you making the worst stank face in your life, because how in the ever lasting hell could you ever have known- no, have been close to the king of curses?! he has to be pulling your leg, a crude joke, because he's satoru gojo.

"she is??" yuuji asked, not sounding to bothered by it, but you were now irritated.

"yep! before she died and sukuna because a cursed spirit, they knew each other very well. they respected each other." he said, feeling very knowledgeable on you.

you remained quiet, now feeling dreadful. there was no way in hell you knew sukuna— nor the fact of respecting him or being close with him.

"have nothing to say, woman?" sukuna said in his domain to where no one would hear him, feeling proud to know he found you again, to either make you pay for dying and showing up after 1000+ years, or having to find a opportunity to get his hands on you.

"yeah, I call total bullshit. it's been years since that happened." you said, "anyway. I guess I'll be working with you, yuuji." she sighed, closing her eyes.

she didn't miss the way yuuji looked at her, nor did she miss when sukuna peeked through yuuji's cheek.

"sooo.. what's it like being reincarnated?" yuuji asked, both of you sitting in one of the dining halls jujustu high had established. you were originally by yourself, finding peace within that. but of course, someone always followed you.

"im not sure what you're talking about, pinkhead." you flatly said. you wouldn't fall for this dumb prank gojo started. and the more you heard it, the more you wished you weren't here.

"but gojo said-" yuuji started, before you started as well.

"gojo ain't said a damn thing." you butted in, "i need to see in writing of some book that I was in a past life. then maybe– maybe I'll believe it." said only by you. you can't fall for that.

in sukunas domain, he felt his anger rising.

"what if it's true though, y/n?" yuuji asked, twiddling his thumbs. he couldn't handle the tension... not with you.

"it isn't. " you stated, crossing over your legs that spilled onto the other one. you stared ahead, thinking of something else.

"... you're a very quiet person, aren't you?" yuuji asked, smiling at you. he wanted to get closer with you already. something about you made that in him. "could I get your uh.. number? for school purposes of course!!" he added, hoping he didn't sound creepy already only after a few hours of meeting him.

you only nodded, both of your iphones tapping each other to exchange numbers— thank god for that update.

"to answer your question, there's no way in hell he and I were ever close. that's just a fairy tale." you said, not knowing what you just started.

because in sukuna's domain, he wanted to kill you for even suggesting that. were you not happy with your history of him? are you calling history a liar??

why aren't you honored to be cherry picked by him?

he could only imagine what he'd say or do to you once he had control, once he was glooming over your frame.

you still look the same when you did 1000+ years ago...

"ill make sure to remind you of your place, y/n." he thought to himself, already enjoying the joy ride of being the king— and where you both left off.

honorable tags: @lisaaannna @coldbreadbouquetworld

[5am-mist]

oh my beautiful favorite bella writer, I have come back for more tee hee. would you possibly be open to write something were reader is an interviewer who is interviewing bella, flirting ensues >:33 (also take ur time bby ur work is the best <33)

Interviews

°pairing°> bella ramsey x reader

°summary°> you finally get the chance to interview the bella ramsey (who you may or may not have a huge crush on) but when they start flirting with you, you can't help but flirt back

°requested?°> yuppp!

°cw°> some small use of y/n just thought i would mention that!

~°A/N°~

OMG IM LITERALLY GIGGLING, BLUSHING AND KICKING MY FEET RN YOU'RE TOO GOOD TO ME <33 Thank you for the request and for being so patient with me i really hope this turned out how you wanted also i used she/her pronouns for bella hope thats ok! And im also just gonna apologize cause i know absolutely nothing about flirting and sorry if this isn't that good i haven't been feeling well at all lmaoo. i also made up a network you interview under so i hope thats ok! love youu <33

You were quite a well known interviewer and had developed quite the following. You'd interviewed countless celebrities at this point in your career, some more famous than others (not that it mattered to you all that much) but most of them very sweet.

The interview game was quite competitive or atleast more competitive than most would think. It was always a race to interview the most relevant celebrities. You had never been all that phased though, you enjoyed your job and yes as much as it was important for you to stay relevant you found that it was just as important that you interviewed celebrities you liked.

So that's what you did, but there was one celebrty on your mental list that you haven't interviewed. Bella Ramsey. Bella was with no doubt the celebrty you wanted to interview most, it wasn't that she didn't want to do the interview or that she was to busy no you just hadn't actually reached out to her manager yet.

You thought it was silly honestly. This was something you had wanted to do for ages but everytime you began typing the email you'd overthink and immediately stop yourself all because of the stupid crush you had on Bella.

It wasn't that stupid of a crush, it was totally justified in your mind because i mean who didn't have a crush on her? It made you so fustrated, you wanted to interview her more than anything in the world, why couldn't you just do it?

Here you were sitting infront of your laptop staring at the email you drafted to send to Bella's manager. You must've read it 1000 times, you checked every word for spelling mistakes and made sure your sentances were structured proffenssionly but it still didn't seem right. You were arguing with yourself, half of you saying this was perfect the other saying that it felt like a stranger wrote it.

You ended up scrapping it but this time you were going to do it properly. It was short and sweet and you made sure that it actually sounded like it came from you, even though you weren't 100% happy with it, you decided to send it.

The next morning when you woke up the first thing you did was check your emails and to your surprise, you already recieved a response. Bella wanted to do the interview with you!From there you and her manager discussed the time and date and you also gave her the studios address.

...

The day had finally arrived and you were ecstatic. You were going to finally get to interview the Bella Ramsey. It truly was a dream come true. The morning dragged on far longer than you'd liked but eventually the time came for you to head to the studio.

You were talking with the camera man making sure all was set and ready to go when Bella and her manager walked in. You stood there for far to long trying process that it was actually happening before snapping back to reality and going over to greet them.

Bella was nicer then you could have ever imagined. She was kind and gentle but most importantly she seemed just as happy to be here as you which gave you a sense of comfort. After telling Bella's manager that she could sit just off camera, you two decided to get started.

You waited for the camera man's signal and then began. "Hello welcome back to Zee Network I'm y/n and today im here with Bella Ramsey." you said with a smile on your face. "Hello!" they gave a quick wave and smile to the camera.

"Thank you for joing us today Bella, may i ask what has your experience been with the media lately? With release of the last of us series, you have gotten alot more recognition what is that like?" you were fiddling with the mic in your hands, another thing that you were known for was not reading from a script which normally was fine but today it really wasn't any help.

"I would say I've had a bit of a mixed experience lately. I have received many new fans and loads of support but i have also recieved a significant amount of hate. I try not to let it affect me but every now and again i will read a comment that really cuts deep. I appreciate the recognition i have gained and sometimes we just have to take the good with the bad." she told you, she seemed torn between loooking at the camera or at you but ended up deciding to look at you.

The interview continued on for a few minutes before Bella finally spoke up, "Do i make you nervous?," she had very clearly seen you fidgeting with the mic, you looked at her extremely confused what to say next. Was Bella Ramsey flirting with you? No, you were sure that you were just jumping to crazy conclusions.

"A little bit, I've wanted to do this interview for a while i guess im just a bit nervous to mess things up," you tried laughing it off. "I've also wanted to do this interview for a while, I've seen your work and you seemed like such a cool person now i know i was right,"

She absolutely was flirting with you. Now the way you saw it was you cluld continue the interview like normal and stay 100% professional or you could flirt back. You chose the latter.

You tried to do be smooth about it (trying to avoid the camera man noticing so that you wouldn't get yelled at) but still obvious enough for Bella to notice.

When the interview was over you walked over to the concessions table to grab some water but were called over by the camera man. He scolded you lightly for your behavior this interview but said he'd let it slide one time.

After being scolded by her manager Bella made her way over to you, she said she wanted to apologize but you told her it really wasn't a big deal.

"I meant what i said though, you seem cool and i'd really like to hang out sometime," now it was her turn to be nervous. "like a date?" it was an incredibly bold move but you were willing to take your chances. " yea, like a date." she flashed you a hopeful smile and of course you said yes.

Bella then handed you a small white paper with their number and a small 'can't wait to talk to you' scribbled on with black ink before scurrying off with her manager to the car that was currently waiting for them.

[liquidstar]

i think something important we all have to remember about characters is that they are not real. but they are symbolic representations of types of humans. especially when you incorporate fantasy into the mix, where these representations become a bit less literal.

so, like, when you have characters that are immortal/ageless/reincarnations/vampires/whatever, who are, on paper, much older than they actually look... it really just comes down to "if they walk like a duck and talks like a duck, then it's probably a duck."

basically what i mean is if a character is functionally a teenager within a story, emotionally and societally and such, then for all intents and purposes they ARE a teenager. because the thing that they are coded to symbolize is a teenager. regardless of fantasy factors that dont exist in the real world. maybe the closest thing is someone who is an adult but looks young (i still get mistaken for 16, its a struggle) but thats a false equivalence, you are still an adult, you cant be coded as a teenager as if this was a story (though you can certainly be immature lol).

conversely, "1000 year old dragon lolis" are coded as children. they represent children. no matter how many spins you try to put on it, that is a symbolic representation of a child. there's a huge difference between the reality of an adult who just happens to look young, and the fantasy of a child who by some loophole can consent. because thats the intent the character was created with.

obviously im not saying this applies to ALL characters who are immortal children though. it can be used for all types of different effects, like, for example, pride in fullmetal alchemist mangahood uses this to enhance his Creepyness factor, due to the disconnect between his appearance and his demeanor. he walks like a duck but doesnt talk like a duck. there are for sure ways to do this trope that arent creepy in the other sense.

same thing goes for immortal teenagers- once you introduce a power imbalance into the mix that makes them functionally just an adult who looks young, thats when the dynamic can begin to feel creepy. and its a tricky thing to pull off, because you have to balance the immortality with the teenager-ness, and it seems like lots of life experience will often contradict the latter. but its not impossible (at least in writing). a character can be more knowledgeable without having power over the other, and i think it largely comes down to how theyre treated socially too. if they have just as much power as any other teenager in their society, then theres not really an imbalance. how theyre treated by other characters will inform the viewers on how to treat them by extension.

like, weird example, but the vampire girl from hotel transylvania (i forgot her name, i watched it when i was 12) is like 100 years older than her love interest. but shes still a pretty stereotypical teenager who has to listen to adam sandler her father, and has the same amount of power in this situation as any other teenager would. the movie sets up the leads as being on the same level socially so theres no issue (this may have been made extra clear because its a kids movie, which is why its an easy example). contrast this with twlight where edward obviously has power over bella specifically due to his vampire-ness, and thats why their dynamic is one that many people find uncomfortable because the fantasy age gap plays a part in this.

but yeah at the end of the day thats why id never, like, call c.c from code geass a pedophile for kissing lelouch (utilitarian reasons or otherwise), but that's also exactly why i'd call isekai man #208 a pedophile for having a loli love interest. these characters are not real, they are symbols. you cannot take symbols literally (thats oxymoronic) by just looking at the numbers of their ages, you have to look at what they represent of the real world inside the story. what does this fantasy immortal SAY about age and such. what do their actual dynamics reflect in the real world.

fiction isnt reality, but its a mirror that reflects it. sometimes a funhouse mirror, but you can still see whats being reflected if you look closely.

anyway please dont take this as any sort of discourse, i really am just musing about how fiction Works, and how different tropes apply in different ways and such. this isnt a response to anything or anyone im just thinking out loud. peace ✌️

[sollucets]

tag game for @khaopybara !! thank you for thinking of me i needed the boost 💜

1. why did you choose your url?

my url is from ‘sol lucet omnibus’, a latin phrase that means the sun shines for everyone. a lot of my urls & usernames and whatnot are sun themed, so this is just another in a long line. for a while it was ‘solclaw’ while i was in a werewolf phase. but i dont plan to change it again

2. any sideblogs? name them and why you have them

ahhh…. the secret come out. i guess? i have two sideblogs. @jinjjayo is my kpop sideblog, which i have not advertised having so far but does exist. i also have @solref, which is just where i collect tutorials & other reference stuff.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

not consecutively, i took breaks, but my first blog was made in 2011. :0 i’ve had three main blogs over the years.

4. do you have a queue tag?

i do! i don’t use it often but i tag things that are queued with ‘ghost post (queued)’

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

the original one, i made because my cousin recommended it to me. we shall not speak of its url. this current one was made when i started seriously writing again (thank u rasmr <3)

6. why did you choose your icon?

i love ayluna. my babygirls. that’s all there is to it lol. im also quite fond of the lil stars i edited in

7. why did you choose your header?

i did a lot of work to edit the scene’s colors for my lfls episode series, so i wanted to keep that and use it for one more gif haha. also i love them terribly

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

it is currently this set of the 3wbf trio doing their puzzle piece hugs, at just over 1000 notes. 🥺 im happy they deserve it

9. how many mutuals do you have?

73! i know this because (and i am aware this is embarrassing) i keep a notes document of my mutuals with names & tracktags, so i counted manually. that is,,, thats a lot of you. i love you all very much 🥹🥹🥹

10. how many followers do you have?

i have just over 900 followers. ._. wild

11. how many people do you follow?

i follow 155 blogs. i try to keep the number down but there are simply so many beloveds.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

sure lol. ive done textpost edits, and that disney only friends thing, and etc.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

i check at least once a day. usually more though

14. have you had a fight/argument with another blog?

noooo. i never have. i always just blocked people or we drifted apart. i love to block though

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

i think it’s counterintuitive. people don’t like being ordered around, so a lot of folks will instinctively scroll. then the ones you do get are often because of anxiety, so it feels cruel. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just ask normally / say please reblog this

16. do you like tag games?

why ask this at #16 of a tag game lmao. yes of course. doesnt everyone love to overshare

17. do you like ask games?

yes very much. it always makes it feel more lively. i try to play when i have the time :>

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

ouuhh, mona @thitiponqs probably, hehe. all member of usergif and gay dot tumblr dot com and everything else. everyone should know mona u.u everyone is famous in my heart though.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no! >< it isn’t personal. i don’t have crushes very often. certainly you are all very lovely and cool, and i’ve had mutuals follow me who i had to go scream into a pillow about after for sure, but. it is all quite platonic im afraid 2 say. would still be happy to make out though

20. tags?

i will try! i choose u @markpakin & @lamonnaie ✨

[teeth-cable]

Im the CSA victim from UniformedArtists blog and I agree with you 1000% dropping everything Vivziepop.

Like I only watch Helluva even after the shit she's done to see how far it would sink but jesus christ.

You know her just saying the counselor is 18-19 isn't fucking good enough because the show says a different thing.

Like before people bring up the argument counselors can be adults... Most TV shows in media actually have minor counselors and we know Vivziepop doesn't research shit about hell or actual royalty so why the fuck am I supposed to believe Adam or her researched counselor age ranges.

Also nobody should have a twitter to figure out if you did or didn't make a grooming subplot.

You know in Curse of Strahd there's a controversial character Gertruda who 50 (500) year old Strahd is implied to planning take as another bride because of where you find her and in the book it states she's recently a teenager. However as much as I hate this plot line due to trauma I understand why it was added because WOTC portrays Strahd as a piece of shit. Like his goal is to chase down the reincarnation of his brother's fiance throughout time until he catches her, makes her a vampire and possibly brainwash/assault her to make her love him. Strahd is meant to be a gross creep. I as a DM and many other age Gertruda up to 18 because we don't want a pedo plot line and it keeps the predatory nature of Strahd intact.

Barbie seems to be portrayed in a significantly more positive light and her grooming behavior is never called out as a bad thing. Like Moxxie should say something at god damn least since he has morals.

There are so many things wrong with the EP. What gets me is writing has multiple stages, first the person needs to come up with the EP pitch, get the directer or network's approval, finish the first draft, then revisit it for grammar mistakes and continuity, then revise it a few more times for a stronger script, and send it to the directer or network again to approve of filming the finish script and that's not even counting how long animation takes too. So during the process of writing to animating, did no one at SpindleHorse see how weird and problematic the script was? The camp for pre-teens is called, "IWannaKumMore"(Their logo being a cum splat), Millie and Moxxie's human backstories of being siblings then making out at the end was unnecessary because they could have just been good friends whose mothers sent them to the same camp, Moxxie this grown ass adult who pretending to be a pre-teen is acting sexual and wants the kids attention, Millie who everyone else thinks is a young boy is getting sent nudes from kids and adults, and Barbie saying how easy teenagers are to manipulate then flash her ass to a boy is implying she grooms kids.

To be clear, I don't have a problem when a dark comedy make these types of jokes as all as they portray the topics and groomers as bad and show they understand that. SpindleHorse did not, like you mentioned they portrayed Barbie in the positive light and Moxxie never calls out her behavior despite being the voice of reason. In fact the tone of the Barbie's scene was supposed to funny but not in a dark ironic way. I don't understand why the camp couldn't be for college students and the consolers are stated and look like actual adults. Everything about the canon camp is childish and filled with teenagers, it's very uncomfortable to see them in sexual situations. In America the youngest a camp counselor can be is 15 y/o but that changes from states to states so no body has a clue, also with the camp counselor having a pitch voice, Barbie referring to him as kid and teenager and him, not once trying to correct her about his actual age, I'm convinced he was kid but Viv had to age him up for damage control.

I'm sorry if this response is all over the place because I'm having trouble describing my thoughts but the writers are in their 30s, and they saw nothing wrong? The writing for HB has been going down for a while now and it was fun to see how the writing could get worse but never in my years of watching awful shows did the writing get so bad, the writers had to resort to terrible jokes about sexualizing teenagers, making an incest joke, and a minor getting groomed unironically. I can't support a person or company that are fine making content like that.

"Unhappy Teenagers" was the first time, I have watched a show and felt a sinking feeling in my gut so much so it still lingers even a day later. I never felt so sick from watching a show and I'm sorry writers and companies think making this type of content and jokes of your trauma and abused experience is okay to do.

[in-restless-walks]

okay i don't know sorry if this is a weird ask but right now im high and watching a youtube video of simon and garfunkel singin the boxer in the concert in central park and idk i got like a vibe from them so my question is are you a simon and garfunkel historian? do you know the context of their relationship during that moment? i don't know you i just searched simon and garfunkel and ended up in your blog so forgive me if you are not that kind of fan or something idk. i know that simon and garfunkel is big on tumblr but idk sometimes is like in a yaoi kind of way sometimes is like an ironic meme i dont know what im saying tbh im sorry for this. anyway if you don't know could you give me some blogs recomendations so i can ask them? is this a weird thing to ask? do i sound crazy? again im really high and this is taking too much to write because i don't know if i make sense sometimes i forget what word i put before the word i'm writing. anyway. can you help me with my issue? thanks a lot! oh for context i don't really know simon and garfunkel lore so just in case i need context i just know their relationship was like weird like sometimes they got along and then they missed each other or something? okay thanks! <3

Wow, okay, thanks for sending this, and first of all, I hope you enjoyed getting high, LOL. I guess there's nothing like getting high and starting to wonder about the yaoi side of Simon & Garfunkel.

I am not a Simon & Garfunkel historian, so to speak, but I have been a fan for quite some time and I have read all the biographies there are to read, I have done my fair share of research into them, so I do think I know a bit about the S&G "lore". Ever since the first time I saw the Concert in Central Park and seeing the same "vibe" you did during The Boxer, I've also 'shipped' them. That is to say, while I do not think that they were ever in a romantic relationship and everything that that entails, I don't rule out at all that anything of a sexual nature happened between them. Other people seem to think that too, hence the 'yaoi' posts you see on tumblr.

Their relationship was/is a really complicated one and I'm not sure any of us know exactly what happened to make them where they are now - supposedly on no speaking terms. I mean, Paul said in his recent documentary that Art turned from someone who 'got it for him" into someone he hopes never to see again, which...ouch x 1000.

For you and for everyone else getting into Simon & Garfunkel, here's a little crash course.

TL;DR they're both idiots who got along reasonably well if it wasn't about their professional business. Their creative differences re: music (and personal grievances) were always so large (as were their egos) that they followed a pattern of getting together to try (again), fought, were on no speaking terms for a decade, thought to give it another try, and repeat, ad infinitum. In fanfic terms, they are the epitome of strangers to friends to lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to...

1950s

Paul and Art are childhood friends. They lived a few streets away from each other in Queens, NY, and they went to the same school. They're the same age, born three weeks apart. They formally met when they were eleven, at the school play for Alice in Wonderland (Paul was the White Rabbit, Art the Cheshire Cat). Soon after, they started recording songs in their basements, trying to copy their heroes, the Everly Brothers. They got signed by Big Records by someone called Sid Prosen, called themselves Tom (Art) and Jerry (Paul) and released a fairly successful single called 'Hey Schoolgirl' when they were 16, which even made them go on Dick Clark's American Bandstand show (footage sadly does not survive). Paul recorded a song by himself, without telling Art, while he called himself True Taylor, and Art found out, 'shattering' the friendship with Paul for the first time. (It seems to have never recovered to how it was before). I coin this the True Taylor Incident™️. Alledgedly they didn't speak to each other for a couple of years after graduating high school (1958-1962-ish). During that time, Art recorded a few songs as Artie Garr, and Paul did as well, as Jerry Landis.

1960s

Paul went to study in Queens College, NY, and Art went to Columbia University (there he met his blind roommate Sanford, which is a whole other interesting side story). Paul and Art got reacquainted with each other, performed as a duo again and managed to get signed to Columbia records to record an album in March 1964, which was to be released in October 1964.

Meanwhile, Paul often went to England and mainland Europe (France, Denmark, the Netherlands...) and there he met Kathy who became his girlfriend (Hence, Kathy's Song, and "Kathy I'm lost, I said" from America). He also recorded a solo album while in the UK, called The Paul Simon Songbook. Art went to visit him a few times.

Their first album, Wednesday Morning 3AM, flopped; Art stayed in school and Paul went back to the UK. The album did contain the song The Sound of Silence (acoustic version) and a really interesting thing happened in late 1965 when someone decided to put electric guitars to the track and suddenly it got airplay. Paul was in Denmark when the song was really starting to do well on the charts, and he had to rush home to NYC when the song became number one.

Then, Paul and Artie were suddenly famous! They quickly recorded another album with several songs that were on The Paul Simon Songbook, but now Art's harmonies were on there. They did a lot of tv performances in 1966 and 1967 and toured mainly in the college and university circuits. (I will link some tv peformances and so on later, in another post).

I'm skipping over some things now, but in my opinion, trouble for their relationship really began again when they started recording their album Bookends and Paul had been writing music for The Graduate (Mrs. Robinson) (1968). The director of The Graduate, Mike Nichols, had asked Art and Paul to act in his next movie, Catch-22, but Paul's scenes got cut, and Art went to Mexico on his own for the better part of the first half of 1969, just when they were supposed to record their next album, Bridge Over Troubled Water. Tensions ran super high at that time. Plus, Paul had written the song Bridge Over Troubled Water for Art to sing, but he later said that Art first refused to sing it (Art said that he wanted Paul to sing it in a lovely falsetto voice) and later, during concerts, Art took standing ovations while finishing the song, while Paul was jealous that he didn't get songwriting credits on stage. Paul also said that Art was leaving him to do movies...not long after Catch-22, Art got invited to play a role in Mike Nichols' next movie, Carnal Knowledge. (see also: Why Don't You Write Me...."if it's only to say that you're leaving me"). The whole Bridge Over Troubled Water album is one big breakup album.

Meanwhile, Paul had gotten married to Simon & Garfunkel's manager's ex-wife (I still can't fathom this) and Peggy also kind of encouraged him to go solo. Paul also claimed that his musical interests and Art's were drifting apart, so eventually, they split in 1970. Artie thought they were only taking a break, and allegedly he didn't realize they were really done.

1970s

Both starting solo careers, they reunited a few times as well, such as for the McGovern benefit concert in 1972, and most notably in the second Saturday Night Live episode in 1975 (tell me they're not flirting the whole time). Paul had even written a song, My Little Town, that the both of them performed for the reunion and was featured on both of their (solo) albums There was also a reunion for Paul's The Paul Simon Special (1977), the Brittania Awards (1977) and some other benefit concerts.

1980s

Paul was approached by a concert producer about playing in Central Park and maybe doing a few songs with Art, and Paul was like, I can't very well play support to Simon & Garfunkel, so it was decided that the whole concert was supposed to be the both of them. And time it was, what a time it was! Safe to say the concert was a success, even though they were fighting again (Art wanted to stay as close to the accoustic sets they used to do in the college performances, and Paul wanted a big band on stage). The interviews before the performance are awkward as usual, but it seems that for the performance itself they kind of set their differences aside, and they seem to be having a good time on stage, as good as it gets with these two. The back rub during The Boxer is...I can't explain it, but that was a lovely gesture by Art.

Because the concert in Central Park had been so successful, they were going to bank on that success and do a whole reunion tour AND a reunion album in 1982-1983, but that seems to have been a very miserable experience for them both. Their body language in interviews says it all. It culminated in Paul wiping Art's vocals from what was supposed to be their reunion album and releasing it as a solo album. Safe to say they were on no speaking terms again for a while, lmao, especially when their professional endeavours were concerned. They did hang out sometimes in private, because Paul had married Carrie Fisher and Art was seeing Carrie's friend Penny. Then Paul got famous with Graceland and Artie was once again, forgotten.

1990s

They got inducted in the Hall of Fame (another miserable experience), Paul did another concert in Central Park (without any sign of Art this time) and they did a few reunion concerts in NYC and so, but neither of them looked very happy about that, if you ask me. In fact, the less they had to look at each other, the better. There was apparently one instance where they were fighting and someone had to stand in between them, or they would have physically started attacking each other? Sounds like a lot of fun, huh? Start of another decade of not speaking to each other.

2000s

After getting a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, they thought it was a good idea to get together again and do a reunion your, and that seemed to work, for a while. They toured the United States (2003-2004), Europe (2004), Australia/NZ and Japan (2009) and were about to embark on yet some more shows in the fall of 2010, but then Art Lost His Voice (you can see this happening right in front of your salad at the April 2010 Jazz Fest, but they were still very chummy then).

What happened in 2010...no idea, but it wasn't good. And then Art made things much, much worse when he did an interview in 2015, called Paul a Monster, and idiot and a jerk, and how could he leave a successful formula like Simon & Garfunkel behind and no amount of groveling that Art has done since (like begging Paul to call him in an interview) has helped. They are still on no speaking terms.

Now all we can do is wait and hope they come to their senses and kind of make up before they die. Under no circumstances do I still want them to sing together, but damn, if all of us don't want them to just both sit on the edge of a park bench, like bookends, I don't know anymore.

My take on the whole thing: they were good friends as kids, Art never got over the True Tailor Incident and that stayed with him forever; he always saw Paul as someone who could betray him in the blink of an eye. Paul was envious of Art's looks (and height); meanwhile Art wasn't a songwriter, so Paul had that advantage over him. It's not a good balance to be in such a close partnership. Perhaps at one point something did happen between them, complicating things even more, because can you really hate someone that much if you don't have strong feelings for them either? In later years, it seems to be mainly the "creative differences" about the music that was causing a rift, but maybe after all is said and done, perhaps Carrie Fisher said it best "not only do I not like you, but I don't like you personally." Paul 'cheated' on Art with True Taylor and, like any other one half of a (married) couple, he tried to get over it, but never could. (and maybe Paul is a jerk lmao. But Art was no angel either).

I've skipped over a lot of things, so if you have more questions, shoot. There are quite a few of us who are posting regularly about them, and who know about everything I've written above. In fact, there's a Tumblr community on S&G now (see my pinned post) but so far there haven't been many people interested in joining, lol, so if you want in, let me know. People could do a lot more theorizing there, haha.