#also by being so aggressively defensive it makes you seem more wrong

[cxlamarisalxmi]

Being Miguel’s legitimate daughter that he left behind and hosting Venom [FEM]

[Platonic Drabble]

c/w: cringe writing, angst

—

[Unedited]

“How dare he?”

You ignored the symbiote raging in your head as you watched your father Miguel finish the battle with the Green Goblin variant. Binding him with glowing red organic webs and aligning him up and over his shoulder.

“How dare he return here?!”

“Venom,” you trailed exasperated. Obviously you weren’t happy at all to Miguel either but he hadn’t even seen you yet so what does it matter? Originally you and Venom had fully intended to take down Goblin and inform Peter B. Parker there was a variant in your dimension. (Don’t ask how you know him).

But then Miguel showed up instead, and honestly you should’ve expected that he would because he was the one who led the spider society. And he was among the first to know of any anomalies or unusual readings in any dimension.

And only Jessica and Lyla were a witness to the internal conflict inside him at the prospect of going to his daughter’s dimension. The daughter he abandoned in favor of a different one, a different daughter, a different universe… a different life.

He was absolutely certain that you hated him and you did, you held such bitterly angry and maliciously hateful feelings for him for such a long time. When you were young all you felt was confusion for his disappearance, but as you grew older and as time passed those feelings turned from rage at his betrayal… to utter heartbreak and despair at his departure.

For the longest time you’d believed that you’d done something wrong, because what had tog done that was so bad? What had you done that was so wrong? You didn’t mean to.. whatever it was you didn’t mean to.

Eventually you had come to learn that this was not a fault of yours, but of Miguel’s. You didn’t do a damn thing wrong, and you didn’t deserve this. Nobody did.

So you grew in the suffocatingly isolating darkness that was hate and grief. And as time passed you built walls thick and tall surrounding yourself, barbed defenses to protect your broken and vulnerable pieces. Behind those steeled doors you also tucked away the last part of your inner child, to keep her safe and protected.. from ever feeling this abandonment again.

When you were fourteen you’d found Venom, and at the time you had been living on the streets for close to two years. At fourteen is when you had very nearly quit on life, being alive was pain.. constant hurt that was very close to swallowing you whole.

Venom had stopped you, not because they had talked you out of it but more so because you were intrigued by the way they had glided across the ground. Even more so interested by the way the deep onyx goop slid up your hand before sinking into your body.

And you’ve been together ever since, the constant babble of the alien grated your nerves slightly but other than that you’d grown to love having them attached to you. And you wouldn’t change it for anything—

“[Y/Name]?”

You froze, previously having turned away from the scene of Miguel opening a glowing golden portal on the street below your perch to make a swift exit. But his voice had stopped you, and you’re not sure why you had even bothered to halt in your tracks.

“Wonderful,” you spat with toxin, “you remember my name.”

Miguel shouldn’t have been taken aback by your response, and he shouldn’t have been thrown off by your bite. He didn’t deserve to feel confused as to why you had responded to him so aggressively— because he knew why you had.

“Of course I do, I gave it to you.”

“Right,” you replied boredly before you were moving forward intent to leave the conversation there.

“[Y/Name]!” He called, and again you shouldn’t have given him even a second of your time but your broken and guarded heart longing for answers seemed to work your feet for you.

“[Y/Name], keep moving. Or I will. He does not deserve your time. He does not deserve you.”

“Did you ever wonder if I had even survived after you left? Did it ever cross your mind even once if I was still alive?”

“I checked on you regularly.”

“I see, the technology to travel through the multiverse also grants you the ability to peer into the lives of people you have ruined.”

You still hadn’t turned around, refusing to give him any sort of indication that you had actually cared about whatever it was he had to say.

“Look, I-I know that I’ve screwed up. I know that I hurt you—”

“Hurt me?” You chuckled humorlessly, a hitch of pain in your throat and fire on your tongue. “Hurt. Me? You may have before.. but you’ll never hurt me again.”

Venom had come through on the last word, enunciating the end of the sentence with a snarl. Ferocious and purely built from the pure emotional pain they could feel coming from their host.

Miguel subtly flinched at the deep growl in your tone, not enough for you to see but enough of a twitch that your heightened senses had picked up on it.

And you chose that moment to make your escape, stepping forward and utilizing Venom to vanish within the pitch black abyss of the shadows. The added darkness provided by the night sky and waning pale moonlight casting deeper shadows aiding Venom in helping you disappear entirely.

“[Y/Name] wait!—” Miguel reached out expecting to touch flesh but was met with nothing.

He stepped back, looked left then right then both directions once more before he exhaled tiredly and leapt back down to the road below. He lifted the Goblin and threw him in before jumping in himself, the portal closing behind him leaving the desolate street in utter darkness once again.

You had watched, this time from the gargoyle statue attached to the side of the roof’s lip on the building above. Venom formed off your shoulder, their head with white eyes and a mouthful of razor sharp teeth complimented well by the black ink of their exterior. And their head stretched off your shoulder by several tendons and tendrils still attached to your body.

You met his blank, milky white stare as he spoke.

“He will return. Whether he wishes to talk or— something more.. what will you do?”

“I made my feelings clear, if he returns. If I see him in my universe again. We. Kill. him.”

You watched as Venom’s grin grew exponentially at your sinister promise. The ominous threat on Miguel’s life exciting him after all the years of trauma and pain he had inflicted upon their host Venom wanted nothing more than to sink his teeth in and never let go.

And if granted the opportunity he would seize it with little to zero hesitation.

Every Spider-Man needs a nemesis, no emotionally richer story than having that nemesis be your own daughter.

“You are sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“You’ve grown cold. Sinister.”

“I am what he made me.”

—

a/n: I’m a little stoned and had this abrupt idea— 🫢 this is weak and maybe a lil’ cringe.. I know that, I’ll make it legit when I’m not baked 😐👍🏽

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#34: The Trapped (1.04)

gif cred: @machonnes

Who knew it would take getting trapped to help Richonne finally let some of that tension between them get released 👌🏽...

After Rick basically breaks Michonne’s heart far worse than he tried to do in ep 3, the two still have to work together to make it past these walkers. And one thing about Richonne is that adrenaline-heavy activities always seem to bring them closer together..and also get them in the mood. 😌

So Richonne is in a hall taking a bunch of walkers out like only they can but then they both go for the same walker at the same time. A rare moment of Richonne being in sync but not in sync.

gif cred: @perryabbott

Michonne looks at Rick and says through gritted teeth, “I had this.” And then Rick is all snarly and defensive saying, “I had this.” And I was like if this man does not fix his tone. 🙃 He already has eight strikes at this point. Plus I was like…Rick, why are you having this annoyed energy with her, when you’re the one who has been doing the most hurtful stuff?? 😑

gif cred: @perryabbott

And then Rick wants to try it even more by removing his blade from the walker and splattering some of the gunk on Michonne’s face. Now y’all, this was nawt funny to me when I first watched it cuz I was so in my feelings. 😂

gif cred: @perryabbott

I quickly could see the humor people see in it of course, but when I was in the thick of my feelings during that first watch my extra self was like excuse me Rick, didn’t Father Gabriel go blind getting that stuff in his face?? 😑 Out here all willy-nilly with your wife.

Lol, I was all out of strikes to give at this point.

But, now watching this, I smile because these two are genuinely comedians together. 😂

Michonne looks at him ticked and says, “Really?” And fortunately, Rick has enough sense to know he was wrong for that when he says “Sorry” and then quickly scurries away to kill more walkers. That was cute I admit lol. 🤭 Rick looks like for a brief moment he finally realizes he tried it and is in trouble with his wife.

gif cred: @perryabbott

I also like the use of clashing red and blue light in this scene both for the visual and because I feel like Rick has been associated a lot with red light throughout TOWL and Michonne with more of blue lighting - i.e the difference in their lights during the tunnel scenes in ep 3.

And the way these red and blue lights are making purple here (fittingly, the color of royalty 👑) it’s almost like it paints the picture of how Rick and Michonne are clashing but still somehow on the verge of merging and coming back together. That might be an extra-as-hell observation but hey I told myself I was gonna try to write out every observation I have. 😋

gif cred: @figmentof

So then Richonne run up these stairs as the building continues to aggressively buckle and crack. A walker nearly grabs Michonne and Rick tells her to hug the wall with that irritated tone again and I was very much not here for that, cuz like why does it sound like he's scolding her or something? 🤨

I get Rick is also antsy cuz he’s not trying to have anything happen to her but still I feel like this was giving early season 3 Rick when he’d occasionally have that little posturing sternness with Michonne...and we’ve done come too far to be reverting back to that.

Michonne retorts, “I know that” cuz she doesn’t need the reminder. And then that huge chandelier comes falling down on them. That chandelier ends up being a blessing in disguise y’all, cuz Richonne needed something that was going to snap them out of this funk.

And whenever I hear Michonne still yell that concerned "lookout!" I’m just like aw even when Rick is being mean as hell she still looks out for him. 😊

gif cred: @ricksmarlene

After the fade to black, it’s shown that the chandelier has trapped Michonne’s leg so she’s stuck. I do like that the first thing we see is Rick right by her side tucked away in that corner with her because you know he probably was real panicked thinking this chandelier hurt Michonne and of course, he wants to try to fix it.

At first, you just hear their breathing and then Nat comes to his girl’s aid once again when Michonne uses his lighter to see better. Rick asks if she can move her leg and Michonne softly says, “Yeah it’s just trapped. If I can just…” and she tries to lift it but this thing is heavy and it won’t budge.  

gif cred: @nerd4music

Rick says, “Okay on the count of three” and they try to lift it together but it still won’t budge. They can see and hear walkers coming up the stairs and so Michonne shows that she too can make unserious statements like Rick when she says, “You should go.”

But that’s not even remotely an option to Rick so he doesn’t respond to that and just tells her, “Grab that. Handle those, while I get this thing.”

Michonne says, “Rick, how? There’s no time. You’ve got to go.” And I knew no matter what version of Rick this is, no version’s leaving her here to die. He’d rather die 1000 times himself than let that happen.

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

There may be a part of Michonne that is genuinely telling Rick to go because she doesn't want the love of her life to die here on the stairwell if she can't break loose. But I also could see that, because Rick has been continually suggesting they have to just part ways and essentially never know each other's fate anyway, she might be feeling like 'What's the difference between leaving me here now or leaving me later?'

However, above all, she knew Rick would never just walk away from her here because they love each other and because - do I even need to reiterate it? - Richonne are...

I like how once again, Rick does not even address the idea of leaving her behind and just starts talking about how the bolts are holding this thing together. And when a walker comes Rick swiftly takes it out and then intently returns to trying to remove the bolts. Michonne turns some walkers into a kabob using her stick and when it gets particularly dicey Rick comes through to give her a knife to use. 

More walkers start making their way closer and so Michonne again tells Rick, “You’ve gotta go.” And this time Rick does respond to it and I love the response.

He just looks right at her and tells her, “That is never happening.” Y'all, I was so mad at him and then I heard him say this and was instantly smiling. This was a heartwarming line.😊

I like how Rick didn't just want to say 'that's not happening," but rather said 'that is never happening" because he knows there are literally zero scenarios where he'd ever abandon her in this state.

gif cred: @nat111love

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still felt some major apologies were needed from Sergeant Major Grimes after the gym scene, but it was nice to hear him say he'd never leave her here, especially because you know that’s what he was thinking in his head every time Michonne suggested he should go.

Rick immediately positions himself to be on the other side of her so he can shield her and take out the walkers. And Michonne is glad Rick was able to articulate that he’s never leaving when she says, “I just needed to hear that.” 

All along she knew telling him he needed to go was crazy and not something they’d ever do. She just needed Rick to see that. She turned this near-death experience into a helpful learning experience for him lol. And the lesson of the day: We don't leave each other behind. 😌

I love the way this episode uses Michonne being literally trapped by the chandelier to parallel Rick being trapped by the CRM. And just like Rick said he’d never want to leave Michonne trapped like this, she’s not trying to leave Rick trapped in his form of imprisonment either.

Honestly, Michonne should have a counselor certificate because all her methods this ep are slowly but surely helping Rick deprogram and see the light. 👌🏽

They keep trying to lift as Rick takes out walkers and eventually they’re able to get the chandelier off her together. I like how the only way it works is through Richonne working together and how with Michonne in a state where she can’t save herself, she’s able to have Rick here wholly determined to protect her. 😊

gif cred: @coolpartytimefan

And while of course for us we have no fear of either of them meeting their demise in this scene, it is technically a life or death situation and it’s nice seeing Rick be so committed to either saving his wife from this situation or dying trying.

gif cred: @nat111love

Michonne stands up and Rick again checks on her asking, “You okay?” Michonne looks in his eyes and says, “Yeah. Thank you.”

gif cred: @machonnes

And then the Rick we know makes a return as he softly and sincerely tells Michonne, “You never have to thank me ever.” 😭 I loved this line so much when I first heard it and love it every time since. 👏🏽🥹

I appreciate how much Rick feels like protecting her is not a burden or obligation. He literally feels that it’s his design to do so. So to Rick, thanking him for this is like thanking him for breathing.

And it’s just really sweet to me that Rick who is known to thank Michonne every chance he gets for everything, doesn’t even feel Michonne needs to tell him thank you once. Like he really said never ever. 🥲

gif cred: @nat111love

He knows and reveres the absolutely priceless gift Michonne is in his life and in each of his children's lives and that’s more than enough to him. So yeah that line was great. 🥰

And Danai knew what she was doing because I wasn’t sure how she was gonna be able to get Rick back in good graces after the gym scene but “that is never happening” and “you never have to thank me ever” were very effective in reminding of the lovable man Rick is underneath who he's been presenting to be the last 30 minutes.

As disappointed as I was with Rick's gym behavior, those two lines on the stairwell made me check myself and say let me not forget that at the end of the day...

He's not completely in the clear yet, but these moments were signature Rick Grimes, loving and being there for Michonne and it was refreshing to see that undying devotion.

That bonding moment of nearly dying together on a stairwell brings Rick and Michonne more in sync as they run upstairs and take out walkers. It’s nice to see them a bit more in unison. It’s like getting literally unstuck from that chandelier made them start to get a bit more unstuck with each other as well. 

Rick notes they need to go back to the room since that side hasn’t started bumping and shaking yet…but honey, it will. 😏

And it will all be because of Richonne and their much-needed, highly anticipated, long-awaited, so-hot-it-could-melt-your-screen, unforgettable moment of reconnection. 😌👌🏽 

[mayumml]

Midori is not a good lover

The REAL Sou Hiyori relationship headcanons <3

first off, you don’t know if he genuinely likes you or not and most likely will never be sure 

Maybe you’re a piece of pawn in his stupid chess game but what can you do?

Midori manipulates and gaslights you just like with anyone else, you’re the primary victim that receives most of it though

He seems like a man that didn’t have a heart, and he literally doesn’t 

Feels like he doesn’t know how to act in a relationship or more like he doesn’t care enough to

You think he’d choose his work over you anytime 

He’s so on and off with his affection

He treats you like everyone else, particularly more strict with you sometimes and scolds you more often than the other participants

This fucker is adamant about “being fair to all participants and not letting a personal relation change that” and yet you feel like he’s being the most unfair to you

Even more passive aggressive when it comes to you, he loves to bring up the past and laugh when you get pissed

But then sometimes, he would appear out of nowhere and gives you a quick peck

You’d expect him to be open to PDA, and yet he only ever initiates (and allows) any affection when it’s just the two of you 

You’re conflicted, though, at certain times he’ll choose a timing where most of everyone is gathered in one place and approach you with the most affection you’ll ever receive from him

He makes sure everyone is looking, maybe it’s his way of showing his twisted sense of superiority?

Midori very quickly reverts back to ignoring you if he is satisfied 

You learn that he is extremely possessive

Yes, you get fed up with his shit many times and he knows it well

Does he ever apologize? Never. 

Like ever. 

You could confront him, but he’ll give you the same saccharine smile and feigns innocence

“What’s wrong with me showing my lover off to everyone? Does that upset you?” 

When you try to explain that’s not why you’re upset, he convinces you that you’re overreacting and somehow makes you seem like the bad guy for “not wanting to be seen with him.” (bitchass) 

Weirdly loves small talk 

Midori would interrogate you whenever he pleases and ask about your favorite color to wear on a rainy day 

You cant tell if he really cares about your responses at all because he just stands there and blinks with his smile and throws follow up questions at you

Kind of feels like he wants to know everything about you but also nothing at the same time 

Remembers small, itty bitty details about you

It’s endearing but also freaks you out because he remembers which angle you prefer to wear your collar

Very touchy when he wants to be, but acts like a jerk when he decides he doesn’t feel like it 

Limited use of pet names because he prefers calling you by your name 

Will call you sweetheart (mockingly most of the time), “my favorite participant,” or a shortened version of your name

Likes to receive but doesn’t give, unless he needs something

You don’t know why you’re still with him 

Midori is very good at making you feel special but also worthless

Will give you overly expensive presents that you don’t need and stare at your reaction as you open them 

(does he think this makes up for his neglect as a partner?)

Very likely to give you jewelry with his initials, he might have one with your initials but won’t wear it 

Sucks at comforting

He actually just doesn’t comfort at all

He makes things worse when you’re upset 

“You’re crying? Humans really are sentimental beings, after all. I guess crying is all that you’re capable of.” 

Let you play and style with his hair in private 

Gets defensive and change the subject when you mention Shin’s history with him

Avoids personal questions like the plague 

Actively tries to poke into every corner of your life. Boundaries? What’s that?

Not a very good partner, he’s just not a good person in general

Midori rarely mentions your relationship in front of the other participants, but when he does, he refers to you as his lover

Will pair you with him with the red light, he knows you don’t have the guts to kill him 

Urges you on to kill him way too often 

He gives you a smug knowing grin and a kiss when you can’t do it

Don’t try to physically hurt him, it turns him on (he won’t hesitate to break your arm)

Remember when I said he’s very possessive? 

Fucker treats you like an object

no one takes what belongs to him

Won’t be the type to defend you and won’t fight if someone hits on you

He would direct the conversation elsewhere and weird out whoever it is somehow (always works) 

Shows up a few days later with news that the attacker mysteriously jumped of a building (willingly?) 

His romantic side is very unconventional

“Would you love me even if I was a worm?” 

“Worms are rather dirty and invasive, are they not? I’d rather not deal with a pest, thanks.” 

[voltronisanobsession]

hi! i was wondering if i could request a percy jackson! platonic headcanon fic where like luke, y/n is also being manipulated and possessed by one of the evil gods and the group finds out? (also i’m sorry to go all teen wolf but she starts to act kinda like void stiles) ty!

Reader being Controlled by a God

NEVER apologize for going all teen wolf, I love this idea😍😍😍😍😍 when you say headcanons fic, imma think you meant headcanons but with a story plot🔥

I think this is a little more generalized than what I usually write

I’m telling you, when I finish heroes of Olympus, WE WILL HAVE A BIGGER AND BETTER GROUP OF CHARACTERS💀🙏🙏🙏

The change is a slow process

Not many caught onto your change appearances, those who did marking it down as an off day you had

Plagued with nightmares and visions, paranoia grows as you distance yourself from the group slowly

This god, you didn’t know their name or their face

The fear they instilled in you was enough for your confidence to break down though

It was like having a devil on your shoulder, it’s soft whisperings influencing your everyday life

You tried blocking it all out, but it was getting too much! You could never escape the whispers, even in sleep, which was way worse than being awake

Yet you didn’t dare tell a soul, what would people say! Would Chiron kick you out of the camp? Gods, you can’t be kicked out another home again, you just can’t!

You lose sleep as this god takes its hold on you, grip tightening more as the weeks pass

It isn’t long until you began listening to the voice, listening to it as it planted seeds of deceit and darkness

I think the one who would pick up on your weird changes is Annabeth lowkey

She notices EVERYTHING

When you don’t show up to breakfast in the mornings, she takes note of it. During training, she notices how you have this far off, dull look in your eyes. Like you’re there physically, but mentally somewhere else.

She definitely sees how you look at everyone now, a distrusting expression as you distance yourself from those around you

So when the girl tries approaching you about it, making it known that she’s worried for her friend, Annabeth is taken aback by your defensive aggression

“Don’t worry about it, its none of your buisness” you would say, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, shutting down any other attempts she tries to make

And while the others try to reassure her you could be upset about something else, one look at you and she already knows that there’s something more

You begin doing small tasks for your new friend

They’re small at first, pack a bag with a few necessities, steal some drachmas, your cabin mate won’t notice a few missing

You don’t even notice as they get a bit extreme, wordlessly following its orders to sneak into Chiron’s office and take some files, and to go into the woods after they call lights out in the dead of night

You’re friends grow even more suspicious and worried as you seem to creep around the camp grounds

They might even hear you whispering to yourself one day. What’s next, you would ask. Whose here? Hiding behind a tree, your friends would finally see that there’s something seriously wrong with you

Percy prays to any god or goddess listening that you just haven’t moved on from your invisible friend phase, but as always, nothing ever goes his way

This voice that first haunted even your sweetest of dreams was a familiar one that you grew to trust

They’re all waiting to watch you stumble, my dear. They’ll use you until there’s nothing left of you.

Join us, you’ll have me to guide you through the new life I’m offering you.

Your final task sets everything in motion, setting off every alarm in every demigods head as you walk past them.

With one mission in your head, you head towards the training grounds where Percy and a few others swung their swords at dummies

Taking the nearest sword, you walked up to Percy from behind, pushing everyone who got in your way

Speeding up to close the gap between you two, Percy’s instincts takes over as he quickly glances behind him and narrowly dodges your swing at him

He wouldn’t have any time to think as you continuously swing the sword you held at him, not once stopping even as he tried talking to you

“What’s going on with you?! Talk to me y/n!

“Do you seriously ugh- think talking is gonna get you out of this?”

Because of your sloppy form due to the wrong sized sword you took, you were taken down by the green eyed boy, causing you to scamper away from him

Heaving and looking at him with irritation, he could make out a dark shadowy figure lingering behind you, almost encasing you with its darkness

That’s it

It isn’t until Annabeth comes running in with Chiron that you make your escape into the woods, where they search hours for you, only to come empty handed

But you didn’t leave without leaving behind a small gifts

At sundown, three hellhounds were released into the camp grounds by portals no one knew existed

Just like Luke, you had betrayed them all, yet they felt that they couldn’t blame anyone but themselves!

The signs were there since the beginning!

It seemed that this god, a new enemy, had taken over your head, and your friends weren’t going to stop until they finally had the real you back🔥🔥

Cue epic music playing in the background

[patroxlos]

home base . ch3

"friends who believe in mpreg" - 2.7k words

ultraman: rising (2024). kenji sato x reader

master post. ao3 link.

previous: ch2. "friends who reconnected and who certainly don't want to be more"

next: ch4. "friends who sleep on call with each other"

Kenji endures an awkward interview with sports journalist Ami Wakita.

And is it monsterfucking if you're kind of into Ultraman?

A/N: So my dad accidentally bought me a coffee float instead of the coke float I asked him to get me. I ended up caffeinated at 11PM and began writing this in jitters. it's nearly 3AM. This is unedited and unfiltered which means: my writing is gonna be so unserious you will sit there and ask yourself "Is this writer different from the one who made the last two chapters?"

Hoping you can keep up with all my pop culture references. Motsubishi is such a silly little name. I was workshopping other company names like "Soni," "Yomaha," etc. but Motsubishi is giving Mob Psycho 100 brand parody.

Also, I refer to Ami as 'Ms. Wakita' connotes that she and Ken are still not that close, but as you would be able to tell while reading, they are begrudgingly becoming fast friends.

---

“Absolutely not.” Ken denies it immediately, with a slight aggression. “There’s no lovechild to speak of. We are just friends.”

Ami Wakita flinches a bit at his tone. “Woah, they weren’t kidding when they said you’re a bit defensive about her.”

“Who’s they?” He huffs, taking a bite from a strip of tonkatsu to calm down. He was glad that it is just him and Ms. Wakita in the restaurant at the moment. He would not want anyone to overhear their conversation about you. 

“Your friendship with the Motsubishi scion has been well-documented since the start of your professional career. Rumors about your couplings have been circling since before,” Ms. Wakita points out.

“No comment.” His media training kicks in with his mouth full.

She rubs her temple a bit. “What did I say about you showing a little vulnerability?”

“I didn’t even say anything about my dad before you psychoanalyzed me!”

“Well was I wrong?”

Damn, she’s good. “...I thought you were a sports reporter.”

“Reporting on the players’ personal lives is a big part of it,” she coolly responds. “You should read my articles on Ohtani’s translator embezzling his funds, or the Yuki Tsunoda puppy interview I produced.”

“This isn’t about puppies though…” His shoulders are tense. “She’s just been my friend for as long as I can remember. Her family has always been good to my family– especially to my mom–and I know how much they value privacy. She is at a really crucial point of her career working to inherit one of the biggest conglomerates of the world. She and I definitely wouldn’t risk a secret pregnancy.”

He is impassioned when it comes to you.

“Woah…Can I quote that?” Ms. Wakita glanced down at her phone recording their conversation.

He deflates. “Yeah yeah sure whatever. You’re right, this isn’t the first time someone has made up stuff about us. Lovechild is new though. The last time it was an arranged marriage.”

“If it helps, online reaction has always been generally positive at the idea of you two coupling up,” she tries to be helpful. “Both of you are celebrities in your own right. You’re both young, wealthy and attractive. It fulfills a lot of people’s fantasies. The engagement rumors came about only because you two have been publicly attached to each other for so long.”

It does help. A bit too much. His heart picks up. Of course Ken has read all the comments whenever those articles came out over the years. You visit him in L.A. whenever you could, and those visits helped a lot with maintaining your friendship. There are multiple photos of you attending his career-defining games wearing his baseball jersey— the oversized look making you seem like his perfect WAG sitting beside his mom.

Ms. Wakita reads this on his face, clear as day. She figures that he is telling the truth about you and him never ever being romantically involved, but there seems to be something additional brewing on the surface. Putting on an unassuming tone, she asks “So I guess that’s it? You both can’t imagine being involved?”

He leans back on his seat, confidently answering “Yes, we both think it won’t work out long term—”

He proceeds to unlean as the realization causes him to hunch over. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuckity fuck. She really can get the devil to confess his sins.

She tries not to look too thrilled about his slip up, which he can commend her for.

“W-What I mean is that neither her nor me— it’s not happening. It never happened,” he stammers. He needs a new media trainer.

“I’m sure you recall that there have been photos—”

“Of her at my games? Of course she was, haha!” He did NOT need her to mention their other photos right now.

Please don’t.

Please don’t. Please… He is supposed to be moving on. Which he has!

“—that pop up over the years of you two being overly familiar.” She finishes.

God kill him. “All alleged. They’re too blurry to be sure it is us.”

“...Some looked like pro shots to me.”

Ken nearly slams his face on his tonkatsu.

“The one where you’re both getting smoothies at Erewhon was cute?” She sounds honest, and she is. She isn’t even going to report on this. It is already evident that the gossip is a sham, but she cannot help but want to tease the baseball player a bit, now that they are sort of becoming acquainted.

He sighs. “Thanks. It was the Ken Sato wheatgrass and bone broth blend. She didn’t like it.”

He remembers that day. You made a face when he tried to get you to take a little sip, so he blew some raspberries against your cheek and maaaybe just a little on your neck as you both stood in the parking lot; you were shrieking for him to stop as his smoothie-covered lips smothered your skin. All friendly, of course.

“Where did the lovechild thing even come from?” Ken thinks aloud. “She looks too great to be pregnant.”

Ms. Wakita, known single mother, asks “...Do women not look great pregnant?”

“Oh you know what I meant,” He snaps as she covers her mouth with a napkin to laugh.

She stops the recording on her phone to slide him the online tabloid article. Allegedly, he and you fought about him being an absent father at the restaurant last night as you have endured your pregnancy all alone. The story ends with a sweet coupling at the parking lot before you left on separate vehicles, a marker that neither of you planned to get married, or a possible abortion in the near future. What. 

“You have a thing for parking lots?” She tries to joke.

His eyes nearly bulge at one line. “‘ The Motsubishi scion ate for two as she devoured a Yakisoba platter all alone—’ It was a decently sized portion for a reasonable price! And I definitely am not an absent father!” He says the last bit with a bit too much vigor.

“I didn’t write it,” She tries to keep his emotions in check. “...I did nearly believe it for a moment though when you called me last night. Was it an hour or two after you met up with her at the yakisoba place?”

He admits that if he was in Ms. Wakita’s place, he would’ve also thought he was secretly raising a child. He wonders whether the Baby is awake right now, terrorizing Mina. “Totally unrelated events.”

“And the apparent baby book purchases in your credit histo— how did a gossip mag get that information?” She marvels as she scrolls through her phone.

He doesn’t know what’s worse: the world finding out that he is raising a giant baby lizard in his basement or people thinking that he’s an absentee like his own dad.

A red blinking light catches Ms. Wakita’s eye. “Are…you gonna get that?”

Not hearing her at first, he runs a hand through his face. God he really did not want to imagine your reaction to this news article. He promised you that it would not be weird. The past is past. If your friendship is already in danger, this might ruin things even further. Oh he can already hear the alarm bells ringing in his head—

Or from his watch?!

“Hey, you don’t have a kid growing in you right now, do you?” Your assistant asks you as she glances at your stomach.

You were both in one of your sleek city limousines on the way to a late evening banquet, where you are due to give a speech. The traffic jam in front of you stretches a kilometer. You follow her gaze. “I thought this suit was slimming.”

She passes you her phone. Huh. ‘Motsubishi Scion Gets Impregnated by Famous Baseball Star.’  You pass the phone back to her. “I don’t want to see the kind of porn you’re looking at.”

“Young Master, it’s an article about you and Ken Sato.” Your assistant was not in the mood for your jokes right now.

You just shrug, taking your phone out to send a few quick texts to Ken. You are sure he probably heard the news by now, and he will definitely agree with you that it is as hilarious as it is ridiculous. “It’ll blow over.”

As you look back out of your window, you’ve already forgotten about it. Seems like a slow day for the newsroom.

At the horizon, you see a PacMan proudly sticking out from the top of a building get knocked down by some beam of light. You yawn and stretch back out on your seat. “Can we go any faster? I want to get this banquet over with.”

Your driver sighs. “This new kaiju attack is impossible ma’am. Apparently, it is just running around without any clear direction.”

“Well I don’t think a monster would have access to KoogleMaps,” you reply wryly.

It was going to be a long night. You begin to settle in for a nap while people are exiting their cars and running out into the streets. Their screams of terror sound muffled inside your bullet-proof vehicle.

“Should we get out too?” Your assistant nervously asks.

You lift up your foot and rest it on your knee. “I’m wearing So Kates. I don’t think I can run either way.”

As you say that, your security detail at the front of the limo begins getting out. Ugh, Tokyo is the worst… You need to fly out soon. He opens your car door and extends a hand out. “Let me carry you, Young Master. Better to evacuate now.”

“Must I?” You groan in frustration.

“We can skip the banquet and take you home,” he compromises. Begrudgingly, you step out of the vehicle just in time for the pinkest…chicken lizard to pop up at the corner of the street.

Immediately, you are swept off your feet as your security detail rushes to escort you and your assistant away from that thing as fast as possible, the wind is knocked out of your lungs. You peek over the shoulder of your bodyguard for a better glimpse at the chirping beast.

You lock eyes with it.

Big mistake.

Because why the hell did it flitter with excitement and began chasing you?!

It keeps chirping, and… burping?... as it hobbles and stomps over cars. Your jaw drops as your limo is flattened like nothing. And for some strange reason, the monster’s eyes are solely trained on you.

Did I do something to piss it off? You ask yourself as it gets closer. You know you can be a bitch but you would remember if you told it to fuck off. No, this monster is chasing after you like it knew you. There was no aggression in its oddly proportioned body, like you are being chased by that grotesque baby in the Tin Toy Pixar short. There is no moral compass behind those beady little eyes, just the pure pleasure-seeking nature of baby hedonism.

It gets closer, and your bodyguard’s legs can only run for so long. He screams bloody murder as he feels himself get picked up, you along with him, by the beast. You hear another scream that sounds like your own voice as you feel yourself get ripped from your bodyguard’s grasp. The monster puts him back down on the street, his landing relatively gentle.

You are being shaken like a rattle now in its claws, its gurgling filling your ears. “Oh my god.” You feel yourself getting sick from the nausea. You never thought you were going to die like this. Your legs flail in the air helplessly but your So Kates stay on, pinching your toes like you are about to give them the best shoe advertisement Louboutin can ask for, with how it feels glued to your feet.

The ground rumbles as if a giant springs through the streets. Your life does not flash before your eyes, but you can hear it in your ears— a very clear ring of Ken shouting “Baby! Put down the human!”

…

Huh?

You felt your body decompress as the monster’s grip loosened. Air returns back into your lungs, but you don’t find yourself returned to the ground.

Instead, you are being lifted up way higher into the sky as you lay on the palm of Tokyo’s hero: Ultraman.

You hiss as your eyes burn from the blinding lights of Ultraman’s unblinking lenses. “Are you okay—?” He says your name with a rising panic. You can swear you saw his chest light threaten you change colors. He is cradling you against it.

You did not know Ultraman can be this friendly with Tokyoites. You struggle to regain your ability to speak, a bit confused and frazzled from everything that just happened in the past minute.

The hero takes this as a bad sign. “Oh god you’re hurt.” There is an ache in his words that shakes up your own core. No one has ever sounded this worried for you.

Man is he bright . You try to shield your eyes from his light. You are brought up close to his face as he inspects your body. “I– I’m fine,” You manage to rasp out. You are initially not sure he heard you, but the evident sag of his colossal, broad shoulders affirms that he did.

You have never gotten to observe the hero this up close. Despite the unemoting face, you find his body to be an open book as it trembles with the fear of losing you. Even if he must be like this with every other citizen in need of saving, you cannot help but feel a little special.

“I was so worried— wait here for help.” He lowers you on top of a roof building, his fingers shaky, worrying about dropping you. You shakily slide off his palm, patting down your suit. You stumble a little on your stilettos, and instantly his massive hands crowd you once more to hold you up. " Please be careful."

“Ultraman!” You shout as you push away his fingers. “I’m okay, thank you!” You point towards the Tokyo Tower, where the baby-like kaiju was already climbing up. “You gotta deal with that first! Leave me, I’ll be alright."

“Huh? Oh, yeah, god… ” The hero curses, getting ready to sprint towards the tower. “Be a good girl and stay put, yeah?” He says to you before running off.

Your feet wobble on your heels as you nearly keel over from the adrenaline coursing through your body. That… you are never leaving the house again during a kaiju attack. Though… you watch as the slim figure of Ultraman begin to climb the tower after the kaiju. Maybe it won’t be that bad next time.

Later that evening in the Ultrabase, Ken excuses himself from the company of his father, Mina and the baby as he heads towards the bathroom for a long-awaited shower. His muscles ache with every step, and he is tempted to pass out on the cold floor— wouldn’t be the first time since getting this newfound responsibilities.

This is getting too overwhelming. He still cannot believe he felt so cornered against the wall that he had to call his dad for help like some kid. If only you saw him now. You were oddly closer to his dad than he was.

Oh shit, you.

You, who he left stranded on some random building.

He quickly fumbles for his phone, eager to call you to see if you’re alright.

Shit , he feels some tears of frustration welling up in his eyes. He is fucking everything up. He is a bad son, a bad father, a bad friend.

Ken opens his messaging app, and he first sees the texts that you sent earlier in the evening.

…

[YOU]

Hey bbgirl.

You pregnat? Pragnent?

My mom is gonna hand you a stack of 20M yen just to stay away from me. Are u g to take it so we can split it after? LOL

Not rlly in the mood to be ur baby daddy atm. get a DNA test before i send child support.

SENT LINK: Motsubishi Scion Gets Impregnated by Famous Baseball Star.

Bc if one of us left that restaurant pregnant it definitely would not be me

A/N: Ultraman fine as hell have you seen his waist?

This chapter was supposed to go A LOT differently from how it ended up being. It was initially supposed to be an extended conversation between you and your assistant about your past...whatever you had...with Kenji during your visits to L.A. But I actually really like writing Ken POV because him and I are pretty similar?

[saprophilous]

just letting you know that that ask you rb'd about glaze being a scam seems to be false/dubious. I think they're just misinterpreting "not as useful as we had hoped" and interpreted it maliciously, based on the replies?

not positive but yeah!

Ah yeah, I see people fairly expressing that being “debunked” as in, not a scam; I wasn’t personally particularly aligned to whether or not its “dubious origins” are true or not… so sorry about that.

From what I’ve read, I was more focused upon the consensus that it doesn’t work, and therefore isn’t worth the effort. So having a positive takeaway on glaze outside of its “scam or not status”, as potentially saving us from ai learning doesn’t seem useful to pass around.

Correct me if there’s better information out there but this from an old Reddit post a year back is why I didn’t continue looking into it as it made sense to my layman’s brain:

“lets briefly go over the idea behind GLAZE

computer vision doesn't work the same way as in the brain. They way we do this in computer vision is that we hook a bunch of matrix multiplications together to transform the input into some kind of output (very simplified). One of the consequences of this approach is that small changes over the entire input image can lead to large changes to the output.

It's this effect that GLAZE aims to use as an attack vector / defense mechanism. More specifically, GLAZE sets some kind of budget on how much it is allowed to change the input, and within that budget it then tries to find a change such that the embeddings created by the VAE that sits in front of the diffusion model look like embeddings of an image that come from a different style.

Okay, but how do we know what to change to make it look like a different style? for that they take the original image and use the img2img capabilities of SD itself to transform that image into something of another style. then we can compare the embeddings of both versions and try and alter the original image such that it's embeddings start looking like that of the style transferred version.

So what's wrong with it?

In order for GLAZE to be successful the perturbation it finds (the funny looking swirly pattern) has to be reasonably resistant against transformations. What the authors of GLAZE have tested against is jpeg compression, and adding Gaussian noise, and they found that jpeg compression was largely ineffective and adding Gaussian noise would degrade the artwork quicker than it would degrade the transfer effect of GLAZE. But that's a very limited set of attacks you can test against. It is not scale invariant, something that people making lora's usually do. e.g. they don't train on the 4K version of the image, at most on something that's around 720x720 or something. As per authors admission it might also not be crop invariant. There also seem to be denoising approaches that sufficiently destroy the pattern (the 16 lines of code).

As you've already noticed, GLAZING something can results in rather noticeable swirly patterns. This pattern becomes especially visible when you look at works that consist of a lot of flat shading or smooth gradients. This is not just a problem for the artist/viewer, this is also a fundamental problem for glaze. How the original image is supposed to look like is rather obvious in these cases, so you can fairly aggressively denoise without much loss of quality (might even end up looking better without all the patterns).

Some additional problems that GLAZE might run into: it very specifically targets the original VAE that comes with SD. The authors claim that their approach transfers well enough between some of the different VAEs you can find out in the wild, and that at least they were unsuccessful in training a good VAE that could resist their attack. But their reporting on these findings isn't very rigorous and lacks quite a bit of detail.

will it get better with updates?

Some artists belief that this is essentially a cat and mouse game and that GLAZE will simply need updates to make it better. This is a very optimistic and uninformed opinion made by people that lack the knowledge to make such claims. Some of the shortcomings outlined above aren't due to implementation details, but are much more intimately related with the techniques/math used to achieve these results. Even if this indeed was a cat and mouse game, you'll run into the issue that the artist is always the one that has to make the first move, and the adversary can save past attempt of the artists now broken work.

GLAZE is an interesting academic paper, but it's not going to be a part of the solution artists are looking for.”

[source]

[yourpeepysucksdotorg]

Looking back on my syscourse days with the wisdom of age, I feel as if I can pinpoint a single psychological concept that explains why syscourse is so prevalent to begin with, and why it’s so toxic and inescapable; group polarization. Basically, people are more likely to come to extreme conclusions or make risky decisions when in a group with those sharing the same ideologies, even though most members of the group will have the same core beliefs that aren’t nearly as radical.

In syscourse, this most often occurs when people debate the validity of endogenic systems. It also makes it impossible to have a good-faith discussion on the matter.

I’m not endo-neutral, and while my thoughts on the matter can be found elsewhere on my blog, I’ll remain neutral for the sake of this post making it to as many people as possible, because I genuinely believe so much fighting could be stopped if we just recognized the unhealthy patterns we’ve fallen into. Disordered systems who are anti-endo seem to blame endogenic systems for a lot of things, and while I’m not endogenic, I can pretty accurately guess that having a bunch of strangers tell you that you make their lives worse by expressing your identity makes you feel shitty. This keeps the two communities separated outside of verbal spats, and of course, after these spats, members of both communities will want support. Once again, I can’t speak from the endogenic perspective. But I know that anti-endos will continue to perpetuate that endos are bad, that you didn’t do anything wrong, that they’re just dumb and stupid. Which, I can assume this keeps endogenic systems in constant defense mode, as they constantly have to check which system blogs or servers are or aren’t okay to interact with, out of fear of being attacked by other systems, or worse, becoming some kind of lolcow for singlets.

When both sides feel like they’re being attacked, no productive discussion can be had. Once again, I do have my own opinions on the matter, but right now, I’m really just advocating for all systems to treat each other like living beings. If someone is being terrible to you, there’s no pressure to fight back. Just block them. While that one person might be an asshole, there are so many more people who care about you, support you, and want you to exist more than you even know. This is a saying as old as time, but don’t feed the trolls. Don’t aggressively retaliate, because you’re just giving them more material to bend to their will. And if you’re the one perpetuating assholery, just stop.

Maybe I’m just being an optimist, but I believe that so much syscourse could become irrelevant if we realized that the world isn’t black and white, and there aren’t good and evil systems. We’re all in this together, singlets are still gonna treat us like we’re nuts. We need to stand united rather than push each other further and further away.

[papil0nglegs]

Fallen angel!Adam x Moth healer!Reader

Chapter 2: Consolation

(Ch.1) (Ch.2)

Warnings: Swearing, nightmares, more angst, mentions of genitalia, a bit of body dysmorphia

A/n: Tysm for the support on the first fic <33 again I’m new to this writing stuff so pls send feedback if you have any 🫶🏽 Also for this fic I added a bit more focus on Adam as a character because i absolutely HATED how 2 demential they made him in the show 😭

Adam’s dream pov:

Im back..

Back at the garden.

Lillith ran away a few days ago because of what I proposed to her.

When I found her she was with someone else.. the fucking clown

Why him?

Why not me?

Why not me?

What’s wrong with me-?!

3rd pov:

While Adam’s nightmare, about the fateful day he saw Lilith with Lucifer, he hears distant humming in the background. Beautiful humming, mixed with the sound of running water too.

He begins to open his eyes, however it was a challenge for him to do so, because of the hardened crust that formed due to his unwiped tears from last night. He turns his head towards the humming, causing him to groan.

You then stop humming, hearing his groans from afar. “Oh! You’re awake” you say in a happy tone, grabbing a bowl and filling it up with water, along with a cloth. You then walk towards him, sitting on an armchair that was next to the couch that he had been resting on.

Adam tries to get a better look at you by raising his head a bit towards you, but is barely able to do so because of the crust around his eyes blurring his vision. “Are you.. Am I..?” He asks in a low voice, interrupted by a cough.

That’s when it hit you, he’s a new soul. Your warm smile then fades into a worried frown. “Sigh, I’m sorry. But, you’ve passed, you’re in hell now.” You then grab the wash cloth, dipping it in the cold water and placing it on his head. “Just relax, please”

Adam sighs after them, then sitting up on the couch while holding the cloth against his head. “Whyd you take me?” He asks. “You want some dick or something..”

Your eyes slightly widen, out of all the assumptions he could’ve made you didn’t expect it to be that. “What? No I helped you because you looked like you needed help, and you didn’t seem to want to aggressively assault me. That can be difficult to find down here.”

He snarls at you, then standing up from the chair weakly. “Where’s the bathroom? I need to take a wicked hot piss right now” He yawns stretching.

“Down the hall to the left” You say pointing to the hallway. “I can show you if you’d like” You suggest standing from your chair.

“Fuck you, you think I can’t find the shit room by myself?” He snaps, getting defensive because of his fever.

“It’s possible” you admit, as well as intending to messing with him. “But go ahead, I’ll make you something to eat while you’re at it, you must be starving.”

As he stomps to the bathroom he mutters insults under his breath. “Hippie bitch, I can go piss by myself, you wanna hold my dick up for me too motherfucking whore-?”

As he enters the bathroom. He gasps quietly, noticing that big parts of his appearance have changed. He now has big horns, that look exactly like the ones that were on his extermination mask, except one was missing its pointy part entirely. His skin now a reddish grey, as well as his hair but much darker. He spreads his wings a bit, expecting to see his normally feathery wings, but they’ve now turned into dragon like wings.

He sneers at the sight of it, he’s now turned into the thing that he’s hated most. A sinner. An embodiment of the wicked and cruelest parts of humanity.

“Fuck..”

Y/n’s pov:

I continue to make the stranger something to eat, I don’t have much since I haven’t gotten groceries yet, so I’m just serving him some left overs. It always hurts seeing someone get hurt from the extermination, especially when I know I can do much, most people who I want to help after an extermination simply lash out on me, worst than what the stranger had just done now. So I’m getting a little hope.

Sure he’s being quite rude right now, but who wouldn’t be after what he’s been through. He’s probably a new soul, who just fell into an extermination. I can only imagine the relief he’s gonna feel when he finds out hell isn’t always like how he first saw it.

I hear the toilet flush, along with the door opening indicating that he finished his little trip. He goes to sit at the small dinner table next to the kitchen, and I notice that his hands are dry, too dry.

“You’re not gonna wash your hands?” I ask kinda weirded out.

“Umm, and why would I need to wash my hands? My dick is clean enough.” I roll my eyes at his response. “Anyways what’s your name babe?” He asks.

I then become surprised on how much pride he has, to call a stranger who had showed them great kindness and belittle them with such a name “Im sorry, but I am not your ‘babe’” I respond in air quotes. “Secondly my name is y/n, so there is no need for these immature nicknames.”

Adam takes notice of the name, “y/n? Oof, I dated a y/n before. She was so bitchy, maybe all y/ns are” he says in a cocky voice.

“Huh, well I’d love to hear about her sometime I guess.” I then place the plate of pasta to him. “It’s not much but it’s all I have, apologies” I say sitting on the dinner table with him. He then starts to absolutely devour it as if he hadn’t eaten for a month.

I laugh in slight amusement. “what happened? Did you die of hunger or something?” I ask jokingly, unaware of what my gesture of humor would to do him.

He pauses, looking down at the plate of food, his face seems saddened but not wanting to show it. I immediately begin to regret asking such a question.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it” I say in a worried tone. “I was born here so I wouldn’t know how bad it would feel, to die then enter a place like this. Please, forgive me.” I then place my hand on top of his free one, attempting to comfort him in a way. “So, what’s your name? I’ve been wondering what it is since I brought you here.” I ask trying to distract him from his sadness.

“My name? shit uhh,,, itss Adam.” He seemed a bit scared to ask me, not sure why. Adam seems like a pretty normal name for someone like him.

“It must’ve been scary huh? Falling into an extermination like that, angels come here every once a year to kill us,, it’s horrible.” I explain. “It’s okay, this place isn’t all bad, every now and then you find some nice people. Although they are hard to find.”

Adam stares as I explain a few aspects of hell, I’m glad he’s open to trying to find out how things work around here instead of immediately going on a killing spree like some sinners.

I really do wish that he’ll open up to me soon, and that I can open up to him. I’m not sure where this will go, I just hope that it’ll go well enough.

[lunabug2004]

Why the Troy and Angela Situations Should Not Be Compared (+ Why Mike's Reaction Is Valid)

One of the things that gets my blood boiling as a Mike defender is when people try to compare the bullying/El's reaction to said bullying between the Troy and Angela scenes. They are not the same thing, not even close! Yes, they're both cases of bullying, but two very different levels of extreme.

Yes, I understand that words can hurt just as much, if not more, than a physical weapon, and Mike understands this too, that's why he tries to connect with El the morning after. But in the real world, one without monsters or powers, the one they believe they're living in at the time, violence is almost never the answer, it only makes things worse, as it did. Mike also understand this. Now, yes, it took him a minute to figure out that El didn't quite understand this yet, but he works to fix his mistakes as soon as he does.

Now, let's look at season 1's incident. Troy is threatening to cut Dustin with a knife if Mike doesn't jump off the quarry cliff. Two lives are in immediate and direct danger in this situation. El, literally at the last second, saves Mike as he's falling, so that's one problem fixed and one less life at stake. By this time, yes, Troy has moved away from Dustin, but he is still holding the knife! And then he aggressively steps towards El, threatening her with it, so she snaps his arm and makes him drop it. This is self defense, as well as defending her friends from a dangerous situation.

In season 4, Angela publicly humiliates El. Yes, it's awful, and yes, she deserves the smack that she gets for it, but it's nowhere near as bad as what Troy was doing. Angela isn't putting any lives in immediate danger, she's not brandishing a weapon! Legally, El smacking Angela is assault, because at the point of the roller-scate-smack, the ordeal is done with, and there was no physical harm done. I'd like to add that I'm aware of El falling, and that she may have been hurt, but technically no one touched her, so it still isn't technically self-defense (I may be wrong here, pls correct me if so). This is a very unfortunate situation, and I feel terrible for El, as should everyone, but I'm a firm believer that when it comes to bullies, you shouldn't fight fire with fire, and Mike seems to carry this belief as well, as he repeatedly tells the boys to just ignore their bullies in s1. @foodiewithdahoodie has an old post (can't find it irl, but it's stuck in my brain) in which they say El treats Angela, a normal girl who is not a serious threat, with the same extreme hostility she shows the UD monsters, and I completely agree with this. El is flawed, and Mike's not a bad person for reacting to those flaws, that just happen to include unnecessary violence, the way a normal person would.

Anyways, what I'm getting at here is that these two situations are completely different (again, Troy has a literal weapon, two peoples' lives were being actively threatened!) and Mike's reaction in both circumstances were completely valid! In season one, he was seconds away from death, and so when El saved him and made the threat go away, he was eternally grateful for her defense. In season 4, he tries so hard to get to her when he realizes what's going on despite having just found out she'd been lying to him for months, and he was even completely on El's side, trying to find and comfort her, until she hit Angela, then he believed she went too far (she did), so he made that known. He's never been one to sugarcoat when he disagrees with certain behaviors, and he doesn't start here, he tells it like it is: Angela doesn't look fine. It also is just a lot to process, so it doesn't surprise me that it takes an overnight thought-session for him to figure out where he went wrong, and again, he tries to make it up to her! To connect with her, bringing down some of his walls in the process! She just disregards his experiences, then brings up him not saying ILY, so he gets defensive and puts back up his walls, and they never get to continue this conversation! (This is an analysis for another day in and of itself tbh)

To reiterate, it just irks me when people compare these scenes to try and make Mike out to be a bad person, when they are nowhere near the same situation! His reactions being different makes total sense, esp when adding the shock-factor of it all! I'll stop talking now cuz this could go on forever and I lowkey feel like I'm just repeating myself now.

Pls tell me your thoughts on this!

[warping-realities]

Dalton Academy - Vanity Fair

A good night's sleep without Sanchez mumbling was the thought that first crossed the mind of a relieved Jacob Miller when he woke up on Sunday morning. Until he turned around and saw why, his roommate hadn't slept there.

"Weird." - He murmured to the empty room, wondering if he should worry about what happened. He and Jaime had a peaceful relationship, they weren't really friends, but they got along well enough for him to inform someone responsible if his colleague didn't show up. The problem was precisely that, if he communicated too early and put his colleague in trouble the peaceful existence of the two in that dormitory could be compromised. Jaime already was upset because his colleagues find out about his nightmares.

Damn Gregory and his big mouth. He shouldn't have shared that with his brother and had only done so out of concern and after much deliberation. He would hate if them create a gossip reputation. It was enough that people sometimes saw the two brothers as slow in mind. It didn't help that the two had grown up on a farm, working hard, plus they had that combination of raw muscle and fat that had earned them both the defensive tackle position and also added to that unwanted fame. But that fame was injust. Well in Jacob's case at least.

His brother was a diferent story, Gregory was machine in relation to any physical activity, with an enviable reasoning within the fields but he had depended his whole life on the help of his twin in relation to his studies.

Jacob on the other hand was a good student in all fields, not excellent but adequate, although he didn't have the same level of athletic ability as his brother. Which sometimes irritated him, because people sometimes judged the twins by two measures. They forgave Gregory his academic shortcomings due to his genius at sports while judging Jacob for being average at one and just good at the other. But that was ancient history, while Jaime's disappearance was something that was happening right now.

Jacob got up and decided that if his colleague didn't show up until he finished getting ready before breakfast he would talk to management, but Jaime finally appeared when he was already partially dressed and decided to report his absence.

"Where have you been man?"

"Why the curiosity Mille? Ready to start another malicious gossip?"

"Fuck off, man! I really worried about you both times."

"You fuck off, Jacob. I have enough problems to deal with without you meddling." - Answered the Latin boy who for some reason looked much more threatening than Jacob remembered. Though he certainly could still give him a good spanking if he wanted to. What he wouldn't. - "Sanchez, if you want a fight you're trying with the wrong person. Calm down and tell me what's going on, you're not acting like yourself." - He replied looking directly at his colleague who for a moment seemed ready to fight back, maybe even physically. But he then sat on the bed with a tired look on his face and let out a sigh.

"If I told you, you wouldn't believe me man. I'm sorry, you're right, I'm not like that."

"Dude, I know we're not best friends or anything, but we share the same room and I promise I won't make the mistake of bringing this up with my brother again." - He said with a characteristic calm tone that always amazed those who heard him for the first time, as if they expected something much more aggressive due to his size. And it was almost always precisely that tone that made him solve his problems without major conflicts and conquer other people's trust. And for a moment it looked like that was what was going to happen once again, as he saw his colleague drop his guard for a moment, only to then close up again.

"I'm sorry Jacob, but it really is better that you don't know. And I appreciate it if you don't mention this to anyone, especially your brother."

"It's fine man, but remember if you need anything I'm here."

"Thanks, there is actually something you can do. Try to stay away from Chadwick Hartfield and his friends."

"Why?" He replied thinking that maybe this was his chance to have an opening with his colleague.

"I can't tell, but promise me that if they try to get close you'll back off."

"Those crow boys never even looked at me man, why would they show any interest now?"

"I think you would be surprised."

….

"Good morning gentlemen, I suggest you shower and get ready before breakfast, this room reeks of sex. So spare me the sordid details." - Chad said, suddenly entering Eddie's and J.B. bedroom.

"Chad, what the fuck, man?" - Eddie replied while nudging his sleeping friend.

"I wonder how you two fit in the same bed. - Said a smiling Mike entering the room right behind with a mischievous smile on his face. - And weren't you the one who wouldn't sleep with Eddie at all, J.B.?"

"What can I do if I'm fickle when it comes to pleasure?" - J.B. answered, standing up naked without the slightest ceremony. - But it won't happen again. Or maybe will, it depends on how bored I will be.”

"Well, save your dick your day is about to get interesting. We need to secure Miller today and then Sanchez will come to us and the job will be finished and the Contract validated."

"It's not like you haven't said this a million times before, Chad. - J.B. replied entering the bathroom. - I'll take a bath and then we can start, is everything arranged in the city?"

"If your lover did his job right, yes."

"I'm nobody's lover, J.B. and I just meet our needs, Chad. You should try to do the same sometimes. Before you end up crippled for breaking into other people's rooms without permission." - Eddie replied, still irritated, putting on a pair of shorts and sitting back on the bed.

"Chad won't admit it but he's worried, this is the most important moment and we don't know how Miller's brother will react. They are identical twins, they've shared everything together forever and you can't change one without changing the other."

"I don't know why so much concern, we will probably gain an extra brother."

"Probably. But I prefer certainties. - Chad answered."

"Nothing was completely guaranteed from the start, bro and we're all here according to your plan. You've told us that many times yourself, the board know what they're doing, we must trust and stick to the plan." - Mike intervened.

"So let's put it into practice. The bathroom is all yours Eddie - said J.B. leaving wrapped in a towel - try not to take too long this time, today is the Millers beauty day and not yours. And I can't wait for it ."

….

Jaime found himself in the principal's office for the second morning in a row. He didn't know if Carmichael would be there, but it was the only way to carry out his plan. Standing in front of the door he thought not for the first time if it wasn't better to give it all up. But he had a plan, a plan he had started to come up with while he was still in the library and which he would continue to work on while she was taking a shower playing with his abs or while arranging her hair in neat curls in front of the mirror or while choosing a shirt that flattered his defined arms. He had done a quick research on King's work and believed he understood what his grandmother had wanted to show him in the last dream.

The problem is that he wasn't sure if the plan would work. The dream could have been just another warning for him to run away from Dalton. And then there was the matter ofthe differences between King's books and the film adaptations. Some of the things that appeared to him came directly from Kubrick's work and not from the author. In King's book after the destruction of the Overlook the place continued to be cursed, while in Mike Flannagan's film, the destruction of the hotel seemed to end the curse, although even there that was not clear.

That's why Jaime thought that maybe it was better to give up and find a way to escape. But then there was the matter of the bones, from the way Chad had said it he deduced that Dalton's spirit had somehow united forces with the thing that inhabited the site before the school was built and he would bet that the fact that the Hartfield ancestor's body had something to do with it.

It was a hunch, but he believed he was right. So if he found out where those bones were and them maybe he could reverse what was done to the others, he didn't remember who they were before but he believed they deserved to live their real lives and not the distorted version that was imposed on them. But for that he needed to get closer to Chad. And in that vision he had heard his colleague talk about a field trip, which meant that he was going to leave Dalton and that if Jaime wanted to get more information he would have to go with him.

That was also a good way for him to get away if he made that decision. Which put him on the principal's door again, as he would need his permission if he wanted to take any of the plans forward.

"Come in - the director's bass voice resounded in the room and Jaime entered at the same time mentally thanking the director for being there and wondering once again if he wasn't making a mistake. He was surprised to see that Carmichael was dressed in a gym outfit that demonstrated every detail of his perfect physique while he looked at him with a serious face.- Good morning, Jaime, if you are here to ask again to leave Dalton I believe I was quite clear."

"Good morning sir. In fact it's just the opposite. I came to tell you that you were right. I haven't tried hard enough to fit in with my colleagues and that's why I'm here. I would like your permission to visit the city today with some of them."

"I'm glad to hear that, lad. And I sincerely hope this isn't some crazy plan to get out of here. I need to remind you that Dalton is deep in the upstate and the nearest towns are many miles away. It would be unwise of you to try who knows why to try to escape in that way." - admonished the director with a stern look.

"Don't worry sir, I'm not naive enough to try something like that. And as I told you, I no longer have the desire to leave the academy."

"Then you have my permission Jaime. Don't let me down. But tell me who are the colleagues you want to accompany into town?"

Jaime was unsure whether to lie to the director or take the opportunity to see the older man's reaction, in addition to perhaps ensuring an easier rapprochement with the Crows. He chose to speak the truth.

"There's something else I'd like to ask you, sir. Because me and these boys, we're not friends yet, but if you intercede I believe they should agree to take me along."

"I can try Jaime, but we're talking about the other students' personal lives, if they don't accept your company, as much as it disappoints me, I won't be able to force them."

So the principal didn't feel comfortable intruding into the students' personal lives. Jaime smiled charmingly at hearing such hypocrisy and then landed the blow.

"Ah, but they will, you've known one of them since his birth and he respects you too much to deny you such a request, Sir. I'm talking about Chadwick Hartfield and his friends."

….

Gregory sat eating his breakfast in silence. That was how he liked to spend his time off the football field. Even more so in a place like Dalton where everyone would judge you for the slightest verbal slip. He knew that everyone thought he was slow minded, even his brother. But that wasn't true. On the field Gregory had quick reflexes and absurd agility for his size. But off the court he was careful, when you have his size it's easy to broken things, hurt things, so he weighed everything very carefully before making any decisions. Combined with his academic difficulties, that made him look stupid. He knew that his brother also had to deal with that fame and that he resented it. But while Jacob had a great ability to relate to others in that characteristic calm way, Gregory could not. That's why he kept quiet and when he got really angry he made some threats that he rarely had to carry out. But that had been enough to increase that unwanted fame.

"You're quieter than usual Greg, is there a problem?" - commented Leonardo Reis, his roommate, sitting at the same table.

"Jacob is still pissed at me about that Sanchez thing, if I ever find out who leaked it..."

"I already told you I didn't do it, man. Probably someone heard when you told me and spread it all around."

"I shouldn't have told you in the first place. I only told you because I thought maybe you could talk to the guy and help him out in some way."

"And I already told you that this was a very prejudiced idea on your part. First, because Mexico is much closer to here than to Brazil. Second, because the two countries don't even speak the same language. Third and most important, because Jaime is as native to this country as you are. Which makes the two of you closer than he and I will ever be." - Reis replied with a frown.

"I know man, I understood when you explained all this the first time. It's just that Jacob has been blaming me for something beyond my control. I thought with the game yesterday things would get better. But the truth is, they. They've not been good for a long time."

"So talk to him man, you're brothers, you came into the world together, you've shared everything since forever."

"I've been thinking that maybe that's part of the problem. We're not the same person. And people sometimes forget that." Gregory replied, remembering that this had not always been the case. When they were kids having a twin brother was awesome. Someone exactly like you, with whom to share everything. And indeed they shared everything from toys to clothes to the same upbringing by their parents.

Their parents were simple, hard-working people, raised within the religion and the precepts of love and respect for the homeland for which they could one day die if necessary. And they raised their children the same way.

The problem started when the talents and deficiencies of the twins became apparent and external demands began. It was expected that the two would obtain the same results regardless of their individual abilities. And it frustrated both of them, even though neither of them had talked to each other about it.

Gregory didn't think Leonardo was the right person to understand the problem either. His colleague could understand international politics and all that other stuff, although not as much as he thought. Gregory could, for example, have explained to his colleague that although he and Jaime were from the same country, the differences between the two could be even greater than the differences between Leonardo and Jaime, not that Gregory and his brother were the kind of person who hate immigrants. His parents were firm believers that America was still the land of opportunity it always had been and that there was enough room for truly dedicated people to thrive. Although not all members of their community shared that opinion.

And the fact is that he already realized that Reis avoided talking about what he thought of the values under which Gregory and Jacob had been raised by associating them precisely with the type of people who would have expelled him from the country if he had not been legalized and son of important people. Which proved that Gregory really wasn't as slow as people thought. And precisely because there was this barrier between the two, a complete friendship had not been established. Reis was great for talking about sports or having a few laughs talking about everyday shit, but he didn't feel comfortable talking about more meaningful subjects with his colleague. Which wasn't necessary, because at that moment Jacob sat down next to him, wearing the exact same shirt as his, a mistake they didn't like to make.

"Good morning Leo, good morning brother. Don't worry, I'll change my shirt after breakfast."

"Why? You guys look so cute dressed like that." - Said a sassy Jonathan Roberts sitting down at their table without ceremony and being followed by his bunch of friends in an unusual demonstration of approximation with colleagues outside their group. Which made Leonardo assume an expression of displeasure and the twins exchanged inquisitive glances between themselves.

"To what do we owe the honor of the elite's presence among the common folk?"- Leonardo asked, visibly troubled.

"The grandson of the owner of one of the largest mining companies in South America could hardly be considered common." - Rebutted Eddie Chang. Making Leonardo blush and the twins stare at their colleague with inquisitive looks.

"Is this true?" - Gregory asked whileLeonardo seemed to consider the answer before answering.

"Yes it is. Thank you very much for that, Chang." - He replied even more irritated.

"You're welcome dear colleague, I found it very interesting to learn that our little defender of the weak and oppressed is as much an imperialist swine as the rest of us."

"Things don't work that way, my grandfather hasn't spoken to my mother for years since she married my father instead of making a more profitable marriage."

"Still there's a small fortune waiting for you in Brazil, it's a lot more than some of us at this table can say." - Answered Mike Jones.

Gregory couldn't understand what all this was about, although it seemed pretty clear that the Crows were looking to pick some kind of fight with Leonardo. He just didn't understand why. He didn't care much that his colleague was a millionaire, almost everyone in that school was and besides Leonardo was always respectful with him. He saw that his brother got ready to intervene and try to calm things down, but he didn't have the patience and was faster.

"Listen here you assholes, if you have a problem with Leonardo you'll have a problem with me and I'm one of the few people in this school bigger than you."

"Wow, calm down there Miller, this is just a friendly conversation between colleagues." - Jonathan Roberts replied.

"Our definition of friendly is very different." Gregory snapped, clenching his fists.

"He's right brother, calm down, we don't want to start a fight in the middle of the cafeteria."

"Certainly you don't want Mister Miller." - Someone commented with a serious and mature voice. And all the boys turned to see the impressive image of Director Carmichael in his gym clothes, accompanied by Jaime Sanchez, at that moment with a small smile playing on his face, as if he knew something that the others did not even suspect. - Mr Hartfield, I'd like to ask you a favor.

"Yes sir. If I can help, count on me." - Chad replied politely, but with an look of astonishment on his normally self-assured face.

"Great, Mr. Sanchez here has asked permission to visit the city today and I would like you and your friends to accompany him." - Said Carmichael apparently not realizing the revolution that caused on the Crows at the table. But neither Jaime, his smile widening, nor Leonardo, still irritated, nor the Millers, failed to notice.

"Si... sir? I don't understand. - Chadwick stammered to the astonishment of everyone at the table, apparently that was a day of firsts.

"I don't find it difficult to understand Mr Hartfield, you are going to go to the city, Mr Sanchez would like to go there and also to get along better with his colleagues, it seems to me an obvious opportunity to achieve both. So I ask you to take him and keep him company. Of course, no one is forcing you to, but I will be personally disappointed if you refuse." - Carmichael ended with a look at Chad that denoted that the director would do much more than just feel disappointed if he refused."

"Of course he can go with us sir." - Chad replied cornered, his face still half incredulous.

"Wonderful! Why don't you sit down and enjoy breakfast with your colleagues before the rideJaime? It seems to me that between Mr. Hartfield's and Mr. Chang's cars everyone at the table can go to the city. - Concluded Carmichael ready to withdraw but being interrupted by Chad.

"Sir, if you don't mind I would like a word with you in private."

"I don't mind, accompany me Mr Hartfield, but be quick, I believe you have no time to lose." - Answered the director looking at Chad and the other Crows. While Jaime sat next to Jacob at the table Chad got up and followed the director, leaving an uncomfortable silence behind. For the first time the ever-confident Crows didn't seem to know what to say. While Jaime seemed to ooze a self-confidence unknown to the rest.

"Jacob, if you're not going to eat that omelette, can I? - He said smiling before turning to the still uncharacteristically silent Crows. - So, guys, what are your plans for today?"

…

Chad didn't know if he was more scared or irritated by what was happening. But to anyone hearing his voice at that moment, it would be clear that irritation was winning.

"What the fuck was that Carmichael?"

"It's Principal Carmichael or Sir, Chadwick. And don't use bad language with me again."

"Sir, we have a plan and we were sticking to it, we were going to get Reis out of the way and finish the job with Miller and only then meet with Sanchez. What you've done now puts all my work at risk!"

"I know Chad, but it was the only thing to do. He knows."

"How...?"

"I don't know, but somehow he knows, the bastard maneuvered me, which shows he's very close to being one of us, even though he's not yet. But in doing that he showed me that he knows something and has some kind of plan. I could lock him in some room and wait for your work to be done. But he's stronger than any of us thought, Chad. And we gave him weapons, he already thinks and acts like us without actually being one of us yet. I don't know what kind of things he would be able to do if he really wants to utilize what's left of his power. I can't risk it. And he wants to be close to you. I'm sorry about that boy, but right now the safest thing is for him to stay over your eyes, I don't have any power over your contract but you do. Secure Miller as quickly as possible and prepare a contingency to secure Sanchez.

"You don't understand, Miller is already an incognita because of his brother, now the Source comes to us before the right time and I still have to deal with Reis and he is not even connected to our contract."

"Ask your friends to deal with the Millers together, make sure the brother is included. Regarding Reis, it would be best not to mix two different contracts before they are validated. But if you can't get rid of him take him along and keep an eye on him while making sure Sanchez doesn't do anything to get in the way of your plans."

"Sir, do you realize how difficult it is to do what you are asking me, the variables..."

"You've got Dalton's own blood running through your veins Chad if there's ever a true son of this Academy it's you. Put your crafty brain to work and I'm sure you'll find a way to do it. Sorry to let the burden on your shoulders son but if you want what you've worked so hard for to come true it's up to you.”

….

"I thought you didn't want me around the Crows because they were trouble, Jaime. Then you show up and offer to hang out with them!" - Said Jacob staring at Jaime in the school yard while they waited for Chad's return. After breakfast the strange and disproportionate group formed that morning split up, while the Crows went to get the cars the others were waiting in front of the main school building. Now they were staring at each other from distance as if the thing they least wanted to do was what they were about to do.

"And they're trouble, I really don't think you guys should go." - Jaime replied in a whisper to avoid being heard in what he already knew beforehand would be an unsuccessful attempt.

"If you explain why maybe we won't go but there's no way we're going to miss the chance to go to the city, none of us have expensive cars." - Answered Jacob also whispering.

"I'd rather not go with that bunch of assholes..." - Leonardo started to say in a loud voice making a total effort to be heard, only to be interrupted by Eddie Chang leaning against his Mercedes AMG G 63.

"Then don't come Reis. No one was going to invite you anyway. You're lucky this beauty arrived yesterday, otherwise none of you would have gotten a ride."

"...but I'm never going to let you go without me. Just like Sanchez, I don't trust them either." - concluded Leonardo as if their colleague had not even spoken.

"Are you afraid the big bad wolves will devour your Little Red Riding Hood friend?" - Shouted Mike Jones leaning on Chad's Porsche Panamera and hitting another target unintentionally as a tremor went through Jaime when he heard that mention of wolves.

"Stop this nonsense - said Chad at that moment leaving the school building. - Reis, you are really not welcome so get out. I can't order Sanchez to do the same without offending the principal otherwise I would order him to do the same. The other two are invited if they want to come."

"If Leo doesn't go neither will we." - Gregory answered.

"Fine. If you want to impose this discomfort on yourself and us you can come along Reis. You and Sanchez come with me and Mike and the Millers go with Eddie and J.B."

"I think there's plenty of room in Chang's car for me to go along there." - Leonardo replied.

"Too bad it's not up to you to decide that. You can meet your boyfriends in town. So either you come with me or you all stay and screw what Carmichael thinks."

"Liar." - Jaime whispered in his colleague's ear as he passed by him and headed to his car. Being followed by a sullen Leonardo. While Chad stared at them with an inscrutable expression. That little trip promised to be quite an experience.

...

Embarrassing was not enough of a word to describe the mood inside Edward Chang's car at that moment. The Miller brothers were still not on good terms with each other or their hosts. These in turn still hadn't been able to completely absorb the events of breakfast but at same they knew they had a duty to fulfill. Reinforced by a single message sent by Chad - "Stick to the plan, I'll handle Sanchez myself." - And it was thinking about that that J.B. decided to break the ice.

"So once we get to town I thought we'd go down to the county fair, the Academy may be Dalton town's main source of employment but it still has some interesting shops and venues that are going to be open today to welcome students. I am in need of new clothes. Then we'll take the opportunity to solve your problem, boys."

"What problem?" - Gregory asked.

"I could be wrong but I don't think either of you was too keen on the idea of going around looking like your mother still dressed you."

In the confusion that followed after breakfast none of the brothers had remembered to change clothes and at that moment they were looking even more like the mirror image of each other sitting in the back seat of the car.

"Thanks Roberts but we don't have enough money to shop in the same stores as you guys." - Jacob replied.

"Don't worry dear. It's on the house."

"We can't accept it our parents would be furious if they knew"

"So it's just that they don't find out. And call me J.B. is what all my friends call me."

"So now we're friends? I thought you had been forced by the director to bring us..." - Gregory replied.

"Greg come on they didn't have to bring us along. And as for what you said Roberts we weren't raised that way we're not going to break our parents' trust." - pacified Jacob.

"We were going to call you before Carmichael showed up Gregory. We were just prodding that hypocrite Reis a little. And as for your parents, Jacob is simple, consider today your early birthday present." - Eddie replied.

"Why? I would like to know what all the sudden attention is about." - Replied Gregory instead.

"That's easy, we want you to join the Crows." - Answered a smiling Eddie.

...

If the mood in the other car was awkward in Chad's car was definitely hostile. There was no one there to break the ice until they reached the city. Each member of the small entourage lost in his own thoughts. Jaime's thoughts varied between guilt for not having been more firm in preventing the Crows from approaching the Millers, justifying to himself that he couldn't actually stop them without looking like a lunatic, the hope that being far away from what he considered to be the power center of his colleagues they were prevented from making any progress and although he refused to admit it a morbid curiosity to know what their next step would be.

Leonardo still irritated with the way he had been treated but realizing that there was some kind of bigger situation that he had no idea what it could be happening around him.

And finally Mike and Chad, their concern hidden behind their arrogant faces. Their plan had been to divide and conquer. So they would have to trust Eddie and J.B. to handle the Millers while they took the hard part controlling Sanchez until he was ready and still managing to handle Reis. Although they didn't show it both were anxious and Sanchez's silence and mysterious smile had only contributed to increase that anxiety. So it was with undisguised relief that Chad parked the car in front of an imposing house.

"We're here. Welcome to Hartfield Manor. Let's go in and have a drink. Since we're going to be forced to spend the day together let have at least something nice." - He said getting out of the car, while Chang's SUV continued down the road.

"Where do the others go?" - Reis asked.

"Eddie and J.B. have an appointment in town they'll meet us when they're done and then we'll decide what to do." - Answered Mike following Chad to the entrance of the house.

"Impera et divide" - commented Jaime following the two. - Good move, I would have done the same."

"Perhaps because you are more like us than you care to admit." - Mike retorted.

"You Wish" - Answered Jaime smiling and entering the house. Demonstrating a confidence he didn't really have.

"Clearly there's something going on here and it turns out I'm the only idiot who doesn't know what it is!" - Exploded Leonardo right behind.

"You intruded where you weren't called now bear with it.” - Mike replied, also entering through the door that Chad held open.

"Actually Reis has a point although he's wrong he's not the only one who doesn't know what's going on. Each of us has a piece of information but none of us know the whole. So why don't we sit down enjoy a nice drink and cleared it all up? I'm really curious to know what you have to tell us Sanchez." - Chad said while closing the door behind him after Leonardo passed by and looking to his colleagues scattered throughout a luxurious room. Mike next to him, Reis and Sanchez further away next to each other.

"And I'm supposed to believe you're going to be honest with me?"

"You tell me what you think you know and I'll tell you what I know."

"That simple?"

"That simple." - Answered Chad. Taking several glasses and filling them with an amber drink. - Sit down have a sip and ask whatever you want."

…..

The twins were surprised to hear that invitation. Jacob as always the fastest recovered from the surprise first.

"Why? What do we have that might interest you?"

"Better change that behavior if you want to join the club Jake. Low self-esteem doesn't sit well with us." - J.B.

"I think what my brother meant is that we don't sit well with you guys." - Gregory commented, more aggressive. But he was dealing with experts.

"And why wouldn't you go down well with us? You have everything the Crows look for, you're strong, competitive, good at sports, have a healthy level of ambition to have come this far despite the kind of prejudice you might face from your humble beginnings. Think about it your story is very similar to Mike's and he is our vice president - Eddie replied.

"And besides, they're delicious." - Added J.B. smiling slyly.

"You see that's precisely why it wouldn't work. This behavior ..." - Jacob began being interrupted by J.B.

"I thought you didn't like being seen as a redneck Jacob. If you want to change that maybe you should drop the homophobia."

"I'm not homophobic man, I think everyone should do what they want with their lives. It's just..."

"You don't want it to be around you. I get it, you know what it's called? Homophobia." - J.B. cut in again with a mocking tone.

"J.B. stop teasing you're not helping bro." - said Eddie irritated.

"We don't have problems with gay people - intervened Gregory. - the problem is these attitudes. It doesn't matter if it's between a man and a woman or not. What matters is that there must be respect. If you two are lovers I think that ... " - Unfortunately he didn't get a chance to say what he thought because at that moment Eddie and J.B. burst out laughing.

"Dude, me and J.B. aren't dating."

"But the way you talk to each other, the flirting between you..."

"The name of it is fun, Greg. You should try it sometime." - J.B. replied still laughing.

"One more reason not to join your club, we don't agree with that, it would never work." - Jacob said.

"Wait a minute, you mean you guys never had fun? Never...my God Eddie, we have two virgins in the car!"

"Do not use the name of the Lord in vain." - Jacob answered without denying or confirming anything.

"J.B. if you don't stop talking shit I'm going to stop this car and put your ass down. - Eddie said angrily before turning to the Miller brothers and continuing. - Guys we understand, you were raised in a Christian home and if you decided to wait we have nothing to do with it. And just to be clear J.B. is teasing you but he will immediately stop it if he likes his front teeth. Mike and Chad are not exactly on the same wavelength as you guys but they also tend to get a little....uncomfortable about certain things and we manage to get along well. So let's work something out. We spend today together, J.B. tries to keep his big mouth shut and if when we get back to school tonight you don't want to have anything to do with us, fine. We're going our separate ways.

"Fine - replied Jacob already knowing what their answer would be, they would never dishonor their upbringing that way. - But I think we just passed the place where Chad parked."

"Yes, Hartfield Manor, we'll be there later but first we need to go into town to sort out a few things, including your clothing problem."

"We already said that..." - began Gregory.

"You know what, I’ve got sore muscles from training and I bet you do too. - Eddie said. parking the car - So while J.B. and Jake sort out the clothing situation why don't you come with me to the massage studio? The comment is that they do magical things there.”

....

"I didn't poison the drink you can drink it". - Chad said taking a sip of bourbon to prove it.

"I prefer not to share those habits." - Jaime replied sitting on the sofa next to an increasingly confused Leonardo.

"For now. - replied Chad smiling mischievously. So Mr. Jaime Caetano Sanchez first I think I should congratulate you. I believe this is the first time in Dalton's history that the source is aware of what is happening before the end. But that will not change the outcome very soon you will be willingly sharing this drink and many other things."

"Not if I can help it. You know you've been used as much as the others aren't you? When I look at you I can see a shadow of what you were and you all have them including you. You don't want to know what was done to you, who you really are? Tell me where Dalton Hartfield is buried and maybe I can reverse what was done to you."

"Ah so that's your move? Smart. I think we'll get along just fine when you're ready. The big problem is I don't know where Dalton is buried, no one does. And about your offer to help me remember who I was. Very touching of you, but I don't care in the least. I am who I am, who I should always have been, this is the real me." - Chad replied while Mike Jones nodded.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" - asked an irritated Leonardo.

"Be quiet there Reis. You'll understand soon. In your own time. You also have a contract to fulfill. But what's going on here doesn't concern you."

"Contract? What contract? You guys are crazy!"

"No, they're not. Just very twisted. I know it's hard to believe but they weren't always the way they are. The Crows you know are the result of some sort of sorcery or magic. And Dalton made them. There’s something at the academy that turns students into Dalton Hartfield idealized version of what a man should be. So they are a kind of Stepford Jocks. And when Chadwick refers to a contract I believe it is how to refer to the deal someone made with whatever governs the school. Who I believe it is in some way Dalton Hartfield himself. Which means someone wanted you to be here Leonardo. Someone provided the means to make you into someone like them."

"Very good, Sanchez. Really. Very, very good." - Answered Chad.

"You are crazy, all of you." - Leonardo said.

"No we are not. Sanchez is correct, we are what you will soon be. But contrary to what he thinks there is no way to escape. From the moment someone enters Dalton their fate is sealed. No matter where they go.

"What are you talking about?”

"You have correctly deduced some things but not all Sanchez. When Dalton Hartfield entered the clearing where the academy would be built he found himself with something ancient, powerful and...hungry. The natives gave this being various names, Malsum, Wendigo. .. the truth is that the creature and Dalton entered into an understanding. Dalton found the means to feed it and he provided the necessary means for Dalton's ideals to last. His own soul sealed the pact and conducts the contracts. That’s why no one knows where his bones are. They are the guarantee that Dalton's soul will continue to be able to fulfill his part of the bargain. If the bones are removed, the deal is off. But like I said, you won't find them ."

"Not even behind a certain red door in your headquarters?" - Asked Jaime smiling again.

"I don't know what you're talking about Sanchez. Maybe you think that being out of Dalton the contract doesn't reach you. You're wrong the moment you accept to join the academy you insert your name in it, the moment you set foot in Dalton's territory you activate him and ensure that he has power over you, no matter where you are. Things are a little different for The Source, for you. You are what feeds Dalton, you have in abundance what some call precision, illumination, shining... We call it light. We all donate a little of it and in return Dalton shapes us but for significant changes a much bigger battery is needed and you Jaime you were a like a sun. You secured our contract and many others but now you are almost exhausted. Dalton took and took and took more to ensure his sustenance and the fulfillment of the contracts. And every little bit he took left a little bit of him in you, a little bit of us. You're much more like us, like him, than who you were when you got here."

"No, it can't be... I would have known I would have felt something."

"Would you really? None of us felt the change and yet here we are. You say you see a shadow of what we were when you look at us, isn't there a shadow behind you too?"

"No, no... - said Jaime, looking at a mirror on the living room wall and seeing exactly what his colleague had told him, an indistinct shadow behind him, exactly like the others.

"Ah, I see you realize now, tell me Jaime, does it seem interesting to you to cease existing to make way for a version of yourself that you don't even remember being? Not that this current version will last very long, once Eddie and J.B. are done with the Millers Dalton will be done with you too and we'll get to know the real you and there's nothing you can do about it or where you can hide."

"No, no, no! - Jaime shouted, holding his face with his hands. While Chad and Mike looked at each other and Leonardo, divided between running away from that madness or calming his colleague opted for the second option and placed his hands on Jaime shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. Though he regretted it the moment Jaime lifted his head and opened his vacant glassy eyes at the same time he opened his mind in a way he never had before sending out a wave of energy that enveloped them all.

…..

"Speak the truth Jake, no teasing from me this time. Didn't you and your brother have any kind of action? Ever?"

"It's not like that, I dated for two years with a girl from my town and Gregory also hooked up with some girls. But if you mean sexual relations, no neither of us had that kind of action. Maybe it's hard for you understand that but it is a commitment established between us and God."

"I understand about commitments I just don't understand why God would care where I stick my dick. - J.B. replied, separating a shirt from a rack and adding it to a sizable pile of other clothes. He and Jacob had separated from the other two and gone to a men's clothing store where he sorted out enough clothes to overhaul his and his brothers' entire wardrobes. "Don't get mad, sorry if I was offensive. I really don't understand, but I respect it. It's just...

"Just what?" - Jacob replied staring at the pile of clothes that he would flatly refuse.

"You're young this is the time when you should be doing crazy things, enjoying life. If you leave it for later it might be too late."

"Just as you don't understand my way of thinking I don't understand yours, Jonathan. Don't be offended, but to me those things you said are just vanity."

"Well, a little vanity wouldn't do you any harm. You have all these muscles and you hide them behind an old shirt?"

"My muscles are a result of my work and not because of some desire for attention."

"I imagine your Instagram account is the modern version of a church flyer."

"I don't have an Instagram account. It's futile."

"But your brother does, and he's on Tik Tok too. I've seen it myself." - Asked J.B. adding a stylized jeans with rips that Jacob would not wear even under threat of death.

"For him it's a necessity, he thinks about becoming a professional player and today there's no better showcase than social networks, there's always the possibility of catching the attention of a scout."

"But you play football too, why don't you do the same?"

"Because I have no illusions about it. My chances for the future lie elsewhere not in football."

"Still you never know man, you're a good player and you know your brother like no other. There's always the possibility that a college will take two for one."

"I don't want that kind of proposal. I don't want to be my brother's shadow or be invited to something just because of him."

"Pride is just another form of vanity, Jake. Didn't the reverend of your church teach you that in the Sunday sermon?"

"I, it's not that..."

"Chill out man, now I'm teasing you. Let's go to the dressing room and see how to put that little bit of vanity to work."

.....

"I still can't believe you convinced me to do this Chang." - Said a half-naked Gregory Miller, sitting on the massage table while waiting for the massage therapist.

"I didn't convince you of anything Miller, what convinced you was the pain in your back that you've had for weeks and didn't want to admit."- Eddie replied, infinitely more comfortable with the current situation, sitting in an armchair, with his feet placed in a basin with warm water and products that exhaled a floral aroma while a young woman was filing his fingernails. - Are you sure you don't want a manicure and pedicure job? I know the damage the field can do in those parts.

"Thanks, but no. The massage is fine, it can help with the pain and improve my work, but the rest? Besides being unnecessary, it's well... a woman's thing."

"Do I look feminine to you in any way, Gregory?"

"Dude, if you like this things that's your problem. But I'm not going to do that." - Gregory snapped.

"Okay, it's your choice. But I think you could get rid of that tension a little bit. - Eddie replied before turning to the small brunette woman working on his nails. - Tatiana let's finish later. My friend Greg is in need of your services."

"Okay Mr. Chang. - She replied heading to where Gregory was waiting. - Mr. Miller, I'm going to need you to lie down on your stomach, let's start from your back which is where your biggest problem is. I'll be right back, I'll just get some essential oils and then we can get started.”

"Are you going to stand there and watch?" - Gregory asked Eddie without following the masseur's instructions.

"I can't get my feet out of here so I don't disturb Tatiana's good work, besides that you have nothing to worry about I'm not going to attack you. You can rest assured but your brother… He’s going to need a lot of luck to deal with J.B."

"Your friend won't get anything from that one over there, not even if he were the hottest woman in the world."

"You say that as if you don't fully agree with Jacob's way of thinking."

"I believe the same as he does, in God, country, hard work and rewards for those who do not stray from the path. But..."

"But...?"

"Well, if anyone understands, it's you. Sometimes a man has... needs"

"I get it man. So what was it? A blow job after training? No Homo?"

"No man, gross. But I... I already... I had sex with one of the cheerleaders last year, I had been drinking which I also shouldn't have done and... things just happened... and she convinced me that if it was... you know... from behind... it wouldn't be a sin...”

"And you judging me for doing the same thing... Just kidding,man. - Eddie said when he saw his colleague's face sulk. - But it must have been tricky for someone as... straight as you. And speaking of someone rightfullness. What did your brother think of this little detour on the path?"

"I... I didn't tell him... he doesn't know, so..."

"Relax man, your secret is safe with me. But I imagine hiding it from Jacob wasn't easy."

"No, it wasn't easy at all. And with coming to Dalton... well things aren't the same between us anymore. We used to share everything and... it's not my fault that I'm better than him at football but I I think he resents it and I... I'm not the smartest guy in the world either and if it wasn't for him well... I wouldn't get very far in my studies and I'm grateful for that but he doesn't get the recognition due by the others."

"Wow dude I don't think I've ever heard you talk so much, that must be a lot of weight. No wonder your back is fucked. I can't help much with the situation with your brother. But at least I can help you lighten up a bit. Lie there and let Tatiana do her work. When you get up you might have a new perspective."

….

Jaime was in Dalton, in the lobby. Leonardo beside him, Mike a little further away and Chad almost at the door, looking at the open door with a look of deep disgust.

"What the fuck is this??? How did we end up in Dalton?"

"I think... I think I brought you with me, we're in some sort of dream, or vision. That's how I found out about everything that was going on."

"We are not in a dream." - Chad said still staring at the door.

"How do you know that?" - Asked Mike staring at his friend.

"Because I think we are in a memory. - He replied, still looking at the door where a handsome middle-aged man was entering, so similar to Chad that he could only be a close relative. - That is my father and I believe that the one right behind is... me - he concluded looking with an expression of even greater displeasure to a blond and chubby young man wearing glasses.

"No way! You were a total loser!" - mocked Jaime although he didn't know where that impulse came from.

"Funny, because apparently mine and your old selves could have been brothers."

"What?"

"You were a lard pudding, Sanchez. If you want to go back to being that that's your problem but I refuse to become that." - Chad answered following his father and that other version of him with his eyes."

"So what are we looking at?" - Mike asked Chad.

"I don't know, Sanchez dragged us here he should know."

"I have no control over these visions. And besides, this memory is yours."

"I wouldn't be so sure, I think maybe it's a memory about me but not mine. I can't remember that, for me it never happened. I know I was the first of our group to come to Dalton, but I have no recollection of it."

"So it's your chance to find out. I'll follow them. Feel free to come along or fuck off. I don't care." - Jaime said. Making Chad and Mike exchange glances and Leonardo staring at him in astonishment.

"What's going on with you Sanchez?"

"What's going on is I have to save a bunch of suckers who don't even want to be saved and..."

"And risk becoming a miserable obese. We share the sentiment, Sanchez. So why don't you just get this over and take us back?"

"Don't put us in the same basket, Chad. I'm going to do what's right no matter what happens to me. And no, I can't end this. That's not how it works. I have no control over what happens here." So be quiet and enjoy the ride." - Jaime retorted as he followed Chadwick Hartfield III and his son, so different from the one he was talking to now to the entrance of a familiar room.

"Wait here and try not to embarrass me more than you already does. - Said the father before opening the door and entering without being announced. While the boys followed him looking at the boy who had lowered his head in embarrassment.

When they entered the room they were faced with an unusual scene. Chad Senior hugging director Carmichael for whom he showed much more affection than he had shown to his son.

"Trip! You asshole, if it was anyone else walking into my office like that... it's really good to see you, man. I imagine you're coming to talk about your boy's admission, no need to worry it's all right. The Hartfields have a place guaranteed in Dalton."

"Maybe we shouldn't have that privilege if what we have to deliver is someone like my son, Vince." - He said sitting in the chair in front of the director's desk.

"I don't understand the last time I saw the kid a few years ago he was fine, we talked a lot about basketball."

"The problem is it never got past the conversation stage. I don't know where I went wrong with him, Vince. I tried to raise him like my father raised me and his father before him, in the Dalton Hartfield way. But he's... different. Soft, in every way. He walks behind me like a puppy when I need a wolf. And all that weight... my own son disgusts me!"

"Ouch, that must hurt," - scoffed Jaime. What was happening to him? Why was he acting like this? Not that Chad didn't deserve it, but still, that wasn't normal for him.

"How many times do I have to tell you that idiot out there is not me Sanchez. I am what my father wanted and I can assure you I have the best possible memories of our relationship."

"Oh, man, that sucks. You know Dalton will help a little,but there are limits. Without a source..."

"I found a source. Half-Mexican kid almost as fat as my son. The kind you wouldn't look twice at. But his light Vince you won't believe. There's enough in him for several contracts."

"Great, then we bring him here and guarantee..." - Carmichael began before being interrupted by Chad senior.

"No Vince, the kid is out there and I can't take another day. His Contract starts today. And I provide the means to bring the Source here."

"You know it's not up to me."

"I know, but I thought it impolite not to talk to the director first. Will you come with us?"

"You know the way, pass on the way back, regardless of the result."

"There is only one possible outcome, Vince."

….

"I can't believe you talked me into this." -Jacob was in a small room with a mirrored wall wearing only the underwear he had put on that morning. Beside him, J.B. separated the clothes he chose for his colleague to try on.

"Relax man trying on some clothes is not going to get you out of your beloved path. - J.B. replied with a mischievous smile. - How about starting with the pants?"

"Fine, but that doesn't mean I'm going to keep any of those things." - Jacob replied picking up the ripped jeans he swore he would never wear. As he was getting ready to put them on he heard a distinct noise and his eyes were hit by a flash of light- Hey, man. Not cool. I'm exposed here."

"Don't worry you're not in the picture. Come on, put those pants on." - J.B. urged causing Jacob to finally put on the garment. He thought he wouldn't be able to pull them up to his waist. But he was wrong, the pants held. Although they were very glued.

"Dude, no way. The pants are too tight."

"But that's how they have to be, Jake. They’re perfect, they model your muscular and defined thighs, your firm ass and especially that pouch in the front."

"You think?"

"Of course, let me take a picture for Instagram."

"I... I don't have Instagram account."

"What are you talking about Jake? Of course you have, you don't go a day without posting."

"I..."

"Come on man, shirt this time. Your followers are waiting." - And Jacob found himself putting on the shirt J.B. handed him. Invaded by the feeling that something was wrong. But J.B. was right, his followers would be waiting. But which followers? He was no celebrity and he didn't like that term, only the Lord should have followers. Still, he had an Instagram account so someone should follow it, right? That flurry of thoughts is interrupted by another flash.

"Wow, perfect man, look at those arms, and those pecs, you look like you're going to burst your shirt. And you should, all those hours spent training just thinking about having a body worthy of admiration. It's a shame to hide that eight-pack but we can take some shirtless pictures later."

Jacob was confused, J.B.'s words echoed in his mind. He knew it wasn't true, it couldn't be. His muscles were the result of hard work... and anyone who saw him in the gym would know that was just the case. Not to mention the strict diet he followed to get all that definition. It was to be admired. No... the lord... the lord had created man in his image and likeness, so when others admired Jacob's body they were also admiring the lord's work.

“Thanks, bro! I hope you're doing a decent job my followers are picky.”

"If you want something better, hire a professional, you asshole. - J.B. replied but with a smile on his face. - Now the loafers, size 14?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"A shame to hide those feet, I know people who would pay a fortune on onlyfans just for the chance to take a look at them..."

"J.B. It's one thing for me to praise the good work the lord done with my body, it's another thing to explore perverts..." - Jacob began, but being again prevented from continuing by a flash of light. Well, he could understand it, his feet were the epitome of masculinity, massive, powerful, like everything else about him. God really did his best when he drew Jacob. And if there were people willing to pay to see that work maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"What were you going to say Jake?"

"That maybe I'll do just that, the lord good work should bear fruit. So, ready for a picture of the full look?"

"Just one more thing, it won't show up in the picture obviously, but I think it suits you perfectly with that whole mane of red hair. - Said J.B. picking up a bottle of Creed Green Irish Tweed perfume and spraying it on his colleague before taking another picture.

"Let me see. Perfect, but it's hard to go wrong with material like me."

"You're a bundle of vanity, Jake." - commented J.B. mischievously causing the colleague's mind to conflict again.

Vanity was a sin wasn't it? And what he was doing was vanity. Show himself on social media, compare himself to God? What would his parents say about that? What would Gregory say about that?

It was the first time he thought of his brother since he entered that room.

Things between the two were messed up, but he loved his brother, and the feeling of letting him down, betraying him, betraying his beliefs was too much for him. He imagined the expression of rage that his brother would make when he looked at him, his powerful muscles contracted, his nostrils flaring, his perfect face... Lord, Gregory was perfect! And how could he not be if he was exactly like him?

Looking at himself in that mirror in front of him a new feeling invaded him, desire, pure, primal, he wanted to be desired, he wanted to be admired and that was why he envied his brother and his talent on the field. And that was why he would use his own means to achieve that. He would have more and more followers and his parents and brother would have to live with that. And as for the lord, well he had made Jake that way, so let him deal with that too.

"How about we do those shirtless pictures, dude?"

…

The boys followed father and son along a path known to most of the group, although only half of them had physically entered it. The Crows Club headquarters was practically the same as the last time Jaime had been there. Chadwick senior who hadn't even looked at his son during the journey stared at the boy for a long time as if he evaluated him one last time and again wasn't pleased with what he saw.

"Sit here and wait for me boy." - He said heading to the back of the room, where a red door was waiting for him. Jaime smiled with satisfaction looking at Chad and Mike, who only exchanged a few glances.

"What is that smell?" -Mike asked as if he wanted to change the subject.

"Cinnamon"- Answered Jaime increasing his smile.

"So this is the headquarters of Dalton's most infamous Club? After all the craziness I've seen and heard I expected something more... macabre." - Leonardo said.

"I think your wish will come true very soon." - Jaime replied seeing Chad father return to his son.

"Chadwick, I know you think I don't love you. That's not true. I love you, though... Son you're a Hartfield and there are certain standards a hartfield needs to meet and the truth is you've failed to live up to them. All of them. But you are my son and I want you to know that everything I have done and will do is for you and our lineage. Come with me, son." - He said with a little more affection this time. Guiding his son to the place he had just left. With Jaime and the others following them. But as soon as father and son entered that place the door closed behind them. Jaime went forward trying to open it but it was completely locked.

"Shit, shit, shit! Why bring me here if you're not going to show me anything relevant?" - Jaime shouted into the void.

"Well, maybe now you think of a way to get us out of here..." - Mike started to say but interrupting himself when the screams behind the door started. Loud, penetrating, reminiscent of the whining of a dog that someone was mistreating.

"What did they do to you, man?" - Leonardo asked Chad.

"I already said that I don't remember any of this. But... The transitions I saw were always painless. I don't know what's going on there." - Chad replied, pale as they had never seen him before.

"Still happy with what was done to you?" - Asked Jaime.

"I'm not going to change my mind, Sanchez. Forget it, if that was the price I had to pay to become who I am, so be it."

"Because it wasn't you who felt it, was it? It was that poor guy inside there who had to die for you to be born. I've been thinking about it since you told me that I changed too. I got pissed, because for me like you said that's me, I've always been like this. But I know enough to know that's not true. And I'm still the real me enough to know that life isn't worth living if I have to taking someone's life. That innocent boy inside didn't deserve to go through what he went through, let alone to turn into a piece of shit like you. And the original Jaime doesn't deserve me to take his place either. That's the difference between the two of us."

"A beautiful speech but it doesn't matter at all, I'm here to stay and whoever comes after you wil be too." - Chad replied at the same time that the screams ceased. Shortly after, the door opened again and out came Chad the father, his eyes full of tears, accompanied by the version of Chad they knew hugging his father who was speaking to him at that moment.

"Remember the names son, Michael Jones, Edward Chang, Jonathan Roberts, Jaco..." - Jaime didn't finish listening, as he started to run and cross the half-open door.

"Holy shit!" - That's what escaped his mouth when he saw where he was.

….

Gregory lay on his back on the massage therapist's table, while her delicate but firm hands worked on the numerous knots of muscular tension in his developed muscles. With his eyes closed and away from his cell phone he didn't see the notification of a new follower on Instagram nor the multiple notifications that appeared afterwards. The reality is that he was lost between the mix of pain and pleasure caused by those skilled hands. He was lost in his own thoughts too. He loved his parents and he loved Jacob and of course he loved the Lord. But that conversation with Eddie had made him realize that he'd enjoyed the only sexual experience he'd ever had and that he wanted more. He knew what his parents and brother would say to that. But there were very good people who followed the Lord's ways and at the same time were sexually active. So why couldn't he do the same?

"Just a moment Mr. Miller, I'll be right back, I'll have a colleague help me with a particularly tough knot."

"A particularly tough knot in a particularly tough man." -Gregory heard Eddie comment apparently from a great distance, so much so that he preferred not to comment. His mind was too busy with more interesting things.

What he couldn't ignore however was the strong hands that resumed the massage. Hands much bigger than Tatiana's and pressing with much greater intensity taking that mixture of pain and pleasure to new levels.

"What are you thinking about big guy? - Whispered a familiar voice in his ear. - Is in that sinful cheerleader? In What did you do to her?" How you would like to do that again? - continued Eddie hitting the exact spot, both physically and mentally and making Gregory groan with pleasure.

"Ed...ward. Stop...don't..."

"Ah, Greg, don't worry I won't stop. - Eddie replied feeling his hands work on the musculature below as if it were made of clay and he could mold it to his will. - I will continue until you beg me to I go on. And you want me to go on, don't you? You want me to go to other places. - Eddie continued, running his fingers lightly along his colleague's back. Until he reached the limit between them and the butt. - That's what you want. Do you want it?"

"Me? No... not."

"Fine, I'll stop then."

"No...don't stop!"

"But isn't that wrong? Isn't it sinful?" - Provoked Eddie. And Greg knew that was really sinful, he thought about what his brother would say if he knew. But then, fuck what Jacob thought.

"... it is good..."

"Yes it's good, feeling all that attention isn't it? That's why you like the field so much isn't it? All those eyes on you, all that admiration." - Eddie continued, now kissing those firm and muscular glutes. - Turn sideways Greg." - And Greg turned, thinking about the cheering crowd, the pleasure in being admired, idolized... until his thoughts were interrupted when he felt those firm hands around something that only he had touched for years."

"You're a big guy indeed in every way Greg, but there's room for improvement." - Eddie said while making rithmic movements from top to bottom, and even his giant hand had difficulty holding all that circumference.

"...uhmm...no...no."

"Isn't it big? I disagree, and it's getting bigger. And you still haven't told me what you're thinking about. Is it what you think about when you masturbate?" Eddie asked, as Greg felt his cock grow and engorge, passing the size limits to which he had become accustomed. - I bet you masturbate looking in the mirror admiring yourself, a body like that is not easy to resist. - Continued Eddie watching his colleague's pecs get firmer, harder, while his arms his seemed to shrink in size but gain definition with all the fat sucked out of them, then they got bigger again, he didn't know if that was the result of his work or what J.B. was doing with Jacob and frankly he didn't give a damn, his own dick erect behind the shorts he was wearing and dangerously close to Greg's ass. "How much do we have here, big guy? I thought it was like seven inches, but it's a lot more."

"...that's nine.." - In reality it was six, but the other number came to his mind and it seemed to be very real. After all if anyone should know the size of his dick it was him. Him and Jake. He remembered the two of them jerking off together looking at each other at the most beautiful thing they had ever known, and almost came. But at that moment that strong hand released the pressure taking the pleasure with it.

"What the fuck, man!" - He shouted, full of rage and speaking coherently for the first time.

"Turn around." - Eddie replied. And as soon as Greg turned around he began to kiss him in the groin, just above the cock. But the kisses flowed in the opposite direction, towards his abdomen.

"Don't...do this to me...man!"

"What? Give you more pleasure than you've ever felt." - then kissed him again and in the place where his lips touched a small block of muscle appeared - Give you more pleasure than you thought you deserved - another kiss another block - pleasure that you've been denied your whole life - one more kiss, one more block until there were eight perfect blocks on that abdomen and Eddie's mouth was approaching those dense, wide pecs like two slabs of meat. - "What do you think about kissing another man, Greg? Just one more little detour won't hurt, will it? Or is it that you don't care about the path anymore?" - Eddie teased, their lips now almost touching." - Did you ever truly care?"

Of course he cared, of course he believed... but then he felt his mouth invaded by a hot tongue, violent in explorations and bringing with it a heady taste and heightening pleasure again. He forgot the path, forgot his promises, he just wanted more, more of it. But again what he wanted was denied him because that wonderful mouth was gone and the voice that at that moment he loved and hated with the same intensity returned.

"You know what I think you want? You want everything, to be loved, to be admired, to be worshiped as you think you deserve. You want me to do that, don't you?"

"Did he really want that? It was blasphemy. But he was already far from the path, very far... - Do it...- said Greg, his head a whirlwind of images, his parents' disappointed faces... fuck it. -... do it!"

"What? I didn't hear you right." - Eddie said looking at Greg's face, his eyes closed, the expression between ecstasy and agony."

"Do it..." He thought of his brother. In his chaste brother. In his holy brother... Ha, in front of their parents perhaps, Jake was much worse than he would ever be, that depraved stray and his dirty secret jobs!

"I told you I was going to make you beg."

"No."

"No what?"

"I'm not going to beg. You can be the king of the mat and have all the attention you want there, including mine. But here, at this time the one who will be admired the one who will be worshiped is me." - Greg said with a totally firm voice holding Eddie by the hair and leading him to his fully erect cock.

"Only today" - replied Eddie before starting to suck.

….

"Holy Shit" - said Jaime out loud. He was standing in front of what would one day become Dalton. But that was a very embryonic Dalton, still under construction with the walls still unfinished, cables and scaffolding hanging down. It was like seeing the skeleton of an immense animal. And at sunrise, sitting far away on the other side of the clearing was a silhouette, facing towards him but not looking at him.

"Nice move, dumbass. But apparently it didn't work. Where the hell did you bring us this time?" - Asked Mike Jones behind him and when Jaime turned around he saw that Chad and Leonardo were with him.

"Use your fucking head Jones. We're in the exact same place."

"It seems that we are seeing the beginnings of Dalton. And Dalton himself."- Commented Chad.

"That's Dalton Hartfield? How is that possible? - Leonardo asked looking at the motionless figure.

"How is all this possible? But Chad is right. That is Dalton Hartfield. I've seen a picture of him and..."

"Of course I'm right, I'm a Hartfi..."

"...and as I was saying before being interrupted by an asshole in need of self-affirmation I believe we are seeing the exact moment when it all began."

"Are we going to end up with two hotheads?" - Chad asked Mike, causing Jaime to glare at him. - But Sanchez is right. We are seeing the begining of everything.”

"I don't see him doing anything but just sitting there looking at the... AHHHH! Puta que pariu! What the fuck was that?" - Leonardo shouted when something flew past him. Something huge with black wings that landed on Dalton Hartfield's side.

"A crow. Of course." - Jaime murmured as Chad and Mike nodded in agreement.

"I didn't understand." - Said Leonardo.

"What you don't understand would fill several books, Reis" - Mike Jones prodded.

"Dalton Hartfield's nickname was The Crow, Leonardo. Now pay attention. He's saying something." - Said Jaime.

"...so we have a deal?" - Dalton Hartfield asked to someone or something they couldn't see.

"... we have a deal?” - Cawed the crow passing to the man's shoulder while another identical bird flew towards the man and pecked his eye, plucking it out, to then settle on his other shoulder.

"What the fuck?!” - Leonardo shouted. But the others didn't even answer him this time, perhaps because they shared his astonishment or because a group of workmen was approaching Dalton Hartfield from the opposite direction.

"Gentlemen, there will be no more disturbances, you can resume your work. - And then seeming to look directly at the boys with a bright eye and an empty hollow from which a trickle of blood was still oozing. - You have a contract to fulfill."

And then the crows took flight right in the direction where the boys were.

…

Jake was admiring himself in one of the living room mirrors after taking several pictures and making some reels and also videos for Tik Tok. He was well on his way to being a successful fitness influencer. He loved listening to the noise of notifications and reading comments from followers, that kind of attention was what made his day, even more so now that some companies were after him for publicity, usually in conjunction with his brother but he didn't care they were hot together and Greg took his advice when it came to handling social media the same way he followed his brother's directions when it came to football. Their parents did not like that kind of exposure initiall, but with the inflow of money that allowed their father's business to expand and modernize and hire workers do to do de heavy work they were willing to turn a blind eye. Of course if they knew where the money really came from, the twins' successful account on onlyfans, might be too much. But what they didn't know wouldn't hurt them.

"A penny for your thoughts." - Said a completely naked J.B. Roberts lying on the comfortable carpet in the living room, where he still hadn't gotten up after the wild sex that the two had done.

"My fees are usually much higher than that. - Jake replied smiling. - I was just thinking that it's past time for us to meet with Eddie and Greg."

"Wish fulfilled." - Answered someone opening the door of the small room. Jake turned and for a moment it looked like he was staring into another mirror. - Did you miss me, brother?" - Greg asked, entering the room followed by Eddie. Both completely naked.

"How did you get here? And like this?" - Jake asked while admiring his brother's perfection, their perfection.

"Tatiana owns the salon and the clothing store. The two rooms communicate so we thought we'd stop by and see how things were going. And it looked like they were very interesting." - Eddie replied with his gaze wandering between the two colleagues.

"Looks like between you too." - J.B. commented completely at ease in that situation. As Greg approached his brother.

"Hello, Brother" - he said with his lips almost touching Jake's.

"Hello Greg."

"Sorry to interrupt such a beautiful moment of brotherly love but I think we should get dressed and go to Hartfield Manor." - Eddie said.

"Why the rush?" - Greg asked, looking away from his brother but maintaining the proximity between their bodies.

"To make your joining the Crows Club official of course."

"So we are in?" - Greg asked.

"My dear, if your performance is at the same level as your brother's, you entered with flying colors."

"Great - Jake replied while squeezing his brother's firm butt. - So if we're already in how about a four-way celebration before the official announcement?

…..

While four colleagues were amusing themselves in the most sordid ways on the poor Tatiana's shop four others were slowly waking up from a trance-like state at Hartfield Manor. Chad was first followed by Mike. When the two looked in the direction where the still unconscious Jaime and Leonardo were lying Mike asked amazed:

"What does that mean, bro?"

"That Eddie and J.B. completed the work. - Chad replied looking at Jaime Sanchez's massive body, reminiscent in every way of their own. - And that we have an unforeseen event to deal with." - He concluded looking at an equally massive and modified Leonardo Reis.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

big hc request: m6 with a hothead mc that gets angry really easy but also doesn't back down from fights

The Arcana HCs: M6 with a hothead MC

~ @elysian-chaos hope you like these little sis! - brainrot ~

Julian

He is conflicted

He thinks that someone who knows what they want and pursues it with aggressive passion is attractive as hell

However, he also loves you and has committed himself to you and that means that he feels responsible for keeping you safe - especially when that involves you putting yourself in danger

And yeah, you purposefully ticking off a bar patron three times your size and then goading them into a fight unfortunately counts

Is he willing to take the hits for you? Yes. Does that mean he wants to? Not really, no. Which means he should probably try to stop you

Except that you're so hot when you're angry and he doesn't want to lose this opportunity to watch you really let loose!

His ideal solution is to get you to walk away from the conflict and find another way to blow off steam. (especially if that involves you and him and some loving aggression)

There is one situation in which he will bluescreen completely, and that is if you are angry on his behalf and seeking to defend his honor. He won't know what to do in that scenario

Asra

They get angry, sure, but they're not quick to lose their temper. Even when they do, they're more likely to resort to scheming and trickery than to violence. Your habits are entirely foreign to them

That said, his "go with the flow" approach to life means that he's maybe a little too chillaxed about this

No, this is interesting. Give them a quick sec to teach you some decent self-defense moves and make sure your moral compass is in working order. No they're not grabbing popcorn, not at all

He loves watching you in your element. And hey, if that element is in a fight, then he'll just make sure it's a good one

They will step in if it isn't looking like a good idea - maybe you'd actually be in the wrong for reacting, or the person you're mad at wouldn't play fair

He'll try to deescalate if he can, but if push comes to shove he'll hop in and be whatever backup or support you need to win

Pshhh no they're not enabling you too much, not at all ...

It doesn't help that Faust is more likely to supply you with insults for your opponent than she is to remind you to take a breath before acting

Nadia

Ah - this is tricky for her

She doesn't want to tell you what to do. You are your own person and she has no interest in controlling you or making your decisions for you

She also loves you for who you are, and who you are is a passionate magician with an extra helping of anger and stubbornness

Those are good attributes to have! Just not when you seem so quick to escalate things, and especially not when she's aiming for diplomacy in a delicate situation

She'll focus on helping you become who you want to be more than anything else. She's happy to talk with you about your struggles and explore different ways to help you manage your temper

If you look like you're about to lose it, she'll nudge you to walk away and take all the time you need to cool off before you come back

Of course, there are always exceptions to every case

Perhaps you're out and about, and she doesn't want to break cover, and the guy in front of you was not behaving appropriately to that vendor, and actions might get through to him better than words ...

Well, it's be a shame to hold you back

Muriel

He's an anxious guy, so really, he guesses he should be used to the constant low-level heart attack he has going on around you

He doesn't like conflict. At all

He doesn't like being in it, he doesn't like being near it, he doesn't like watching it, he doesn't like hearing about it, he doesn't like thinking about it, he does not like conflict

And yet you seem to be hellbent on finding trouble wherever you go

At first it was one of his reasons to be slower to approach you. Now it's one of the inexplicable reasons he finds you attractive

As he becomes comfortable with you, he loses a lot of his hesitation to try to stop a situation from escalating. Often his obviously growing impatience is all it takes for everyone to back off

However, if you're not calming down, and your opponent is not calming down, Muriel is not above slinging you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and walking off

He doesn't mind too much if it's him you're angry at

Because, thanks to your temperament, he knows exactly why you're angry and can take steps to address it instead of guessing

It also speaks volumes to him that you'd rather stay and talk than give up and leave

Portia

Oh boy. Her too

She's never been afraid to use her fists when her words aren't working, and don't even get her started on how stubborn she is

At first it's fantastic. When you two go out together and meet some jerk who's just begging to be taken down a notch or two, it's only a matter of five minutes or ten before the dust settles

It gets easier and easier to enable each other until you stop thinking too much about whether a fight is the best way to respond until it ends up costing Vesuvia an important trade deal

Nadia's able to run damage control, but it does give you pause when you both know that there was a better way to handle that snobby nobleman than to knock his wine into his lap and shout insults at him

Now you help each other regulate your big emotions instead of bottling them up, and take turns being each other's calm voice and accountability

Unless Julian mentions an unusually nasty customer at the Rowdy Raven who's been making all the regulars miserable and giving Barth a hard time and, clearly, needs to be put in their place. Then it's go time

Lucio

This is one of his favorite things about you

He's learned the value of not starting a fight just for a fight's sake, but if you're the one starting it, well then

That means you're the one responsible for the oopsie

He's happy both to sit and watch you enjoy yourself and to get involved. Either way he's having a great time cheering you on

However, Lucio has plenty of combat experience under his belt and he knows the value of a well timed retreat

You, it seems, do not

And oh no, you just picked a fight with that massive grouchy person in the corner who was making the server uncomfortable and yes it was for a good cause but he already knows he's going to get his butt kicked

Because yeah he wouldn't have done that but there's also no way he's leaving you without someone to watch your back

In the end it becomes one of those areas where he actually gets to help you improve yourself a little bit

He gets what it's like to be so angry and aggressive but he's also an expert at focusing on the pleasures of life instead. Let him give you a few fighting pointers at least

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

In Defense of Ben during the Ultimate Kevin arc

A lot of people have complained about this arc from Ultimate Alien for years. There’s been discourse about whether Ben was OOC for wanting to kill Kevin. Some have called Ben a sociopath or claimed he wanted to kill him because Kevin upstaged him as the hero against Aggregor. While Gwen’s faith in Kevin was what ultimately saved the day, Ben’s anger towards Kevin was not out of jealousy and sociopathy but from a place of hurt from Kevin “betraying” him.

For starters, let’s look back at the OS. Ben befriended Kevin during his debut and knew him more personally than Gwen did. That friendship ended when Kevin was willing to crash a train full of people and showed Ben what he could become had he kept letting his selfishness control him. Despite that, Ben still tried to offer him help but Kevin blew it by trying to take the Omnitrix. Kevin would end up trying to frame Ben for his crimes and teaming up with Vilgax to take the Omnitrix again.

Years later, Kevin was in a healthier state of mind after training with Kwarrel to control his powers. He came across Ben again in Ben 10 Returns and briefly tried to take revenge. He ended up joining the team for selfish reasons but after Labrid’s death, decided to stay as a promise to Labrid, this time accepting a second chance from Ben. The two would slowly trust each other despite rough bumps like Kevin stealing the Rustbucket or Ben mutating him by hacking the Omnitrix. By the time of Ultimate Alien, Ben considered him the brother he never had and Kevin was thankful for being given another chance.

So when Kevin absorbed the ultimatrix to stop Aggregor, to Ben it was a betrayal after all they had been through. In Nor Iron Bars a Cage, Ben insists that Kevin “made his choice” and seems more hurt than Gwen as he had to see the same thing happen beforehand. Kevin was back to being the monster who haunted him in his worst nightmares as a child. You know what this reminds me a bit of? Raven and Terra’s dynamic in Teen Titans which ironically was also produced by Glen Murakami. Raven also had a difficult time trusting Terra at the start but eventually considered her a friend which is why she was furious at the betrayal.

Was Raven a monster or sociopath for believing Terra was evil and beyond redemption? No, she had a difficulty trusting people because of her upbringing and was proven wrong by Beast Boy but her anger was justified. Ben also was implied to have few friends in the OS which is why Gwen and later Kevin became as important to him as they are. I sympathize with Terra and Kevin, but Raven and Ben weren’t evil for wanting to stop them either. Ben didn’t want to kill Kevin either. Believing you have to do something isn’t the same as wanting to do it. He had tried to do things the “Ben” way against Aggregor and kept falling flat on his face. He admits during his talk with Max in the car that he doesn’t want to do this but feels he has to. Plus does this look like a bloodthirsty sociopath who just wants to kill his friend out of jealousy?

Ben made a mistake here and was not presented as being in the right by the narrative. He beat up Vulkanus and the Forever Knights for information and was acting very harsh and aggressive towards Gwen. However, he was convinced that he needed to be this way after letting fame get to his head and Aggregor nearly taking over the universe. Gwen was ultimately proven right and Kevin was able to stop himself from killing her, but Ben didn’t see that due to being knocked out and the next time he saw Kevin, he was trying to kill Alan, making his anger a lot more reasonable. If you don’t like how he acted during this arc, that’s fine, but it wasn’t out of a jealous bloodlust or sociopathy but understandable feelings of betrayal and blaming himself for not being able to stop Aggregor. By the time of OV, Ben has learned this lesson and accepts he can’t beat himself up over failure when he forgives himself for losing feedback, all he can do is try and move forward and be the best hero he can. His whole arc in Ultimate Alien was accepting he can’t be in control. He stopped himself from killing Kevin, accepted having to die to free the Ultimates and gave up the power of Dagon after being tempted to remake the universe in his image.

[elen-tari2]

Finally got around to rewatching episode 4 of TPs2 and I just have to vent about my next complaint about how the writers handled the Frank and Amy relationship. (My first complaint being about the scene where Frank ties her to a motel bed and tapes her mouth shut while he takes a nap, but never once tells her he has absolutely no intention of SA’ing her)

Look, I know a lot of people dislike Amy because she’s such an over the top, angsty, tough teen trope, but I give her a pass on most of her plot-forced obnoxiousness. But I just can’t let Frank off the hook.

You’re telling me Frank Castle heard a kid crying from whatever horrible experience traumatized her and he just… turned up the volume on a hockey game?

SHAME. WRITER SHAME. SHAAAAAME.

Literally. What. The. F *CK?

This scene was done all wrong. Frank is an asshole but he protects innocent people from getting hurt. In that moment, the bratty teen is alone, dropping her tough girl act, and hurting. For all that she is a little shit, he has already —willing or unwillingly—decided to protect her, even if he doesn’t care that much about her. But the moment she’s breaking down, he would care enough to at least check on her.

He doesn’t even have to say much of anything. Amy has locked herself in Madani’s bedroom, so he can’t go in. But he would go sit with his back against the door and just be like, “hey, kid. You okay?”

The result could have been a much softer scene with Frank listening from outside the room and Amy talking to him from her hiding place until she feels safe enough to go unlock the door or maybe just try sleeping IN the bed instead of under it.

Instead what we got was a weirdly broken up scene where eventually I guess Amy is sleeping so Frank locks her in and goes to visit Curtis and it’s only upon his return that Amy realizes she was locked in at all and freaks out? So she is panicking and berating him to never do that again to her because it was also traumatizing to feel trapped like that. Not okay, Frank. So instead they finally talk about what happened to Amy but she’s still on the defensive, and Frank is pretty aggressive with his questioning about Fiona’s gang.

Then we get the sharing of their truths broken up even more, as Frank goes to take a shower and Amy leaves and goes to a computer store to google Frank Castle’s name. (I guess that was a clever way to use the Internet but it feels totally random. Or like, go to a library or something??)

Then she comes back and is like oh wow they killed your whole family. We don’t even get shown Frank’s reaction to coming out of the shower and thinking the kid ran off. Did he care? Or was he just like ::shrug:: not my problem anymore I guess? Just risked my life for this kid but I was such a jerk, she didn’t want my help, oh well?

It just seemed unnecessary to make the conversation where she talks about what she survived and tells Frank her real name chopped up into different parts throughout the episode. There was a chance for her to be vulnerable and realize she was safe around Frank no matter what, and they missed it. She could still be a smart alec, just she would also know he wouldn’t be dismissive of the horrible murders she witnessed and how scary that would be for a young person.

Think about how supportive Frank was to the small town police force in episode 3? He is respectful, encouraging, and knows they’re in over their heads but it’s not their fault. It’s not Amy’s fault she got in over her head and she needed some f*cking comfort and reassurance, when she was CRYING. I’m not saying he’d have hugged her or told her everything would be ok. But he would be a good listener and know she didn’t deserve to go through it.

Honestly having a tiny moment like that and THEN getting into stuff like her pulling card tricks on Frank would have been much better. They’d be back to their banter, but be starting to build towards that found family feeling, like we see over the rest of the show.

Ug, this is making me want to write a fan fic fixit for that episode. But I’m just putting this out there for future Punisher writers— Get. It. Right. Next. Time.

Clear your female characters treatment with female viewers. I’m serious. You have the potential to be writing GREAT stories, but missteps like this where Frank is uncaring in the face of an innocent (if annoying) child’s suffering is a no. Just no.

[dr-futbol-blog]

Runner, Pt. 10

While we don't get to see it, the fact that Sheppard had gone immediately back to McKay after Ford chose the wraith over him is confirmed by the report he is giving Caldwell in the conference room after they have returned to Atlantis. We seem to be joining in at the tail-end of this report:

Sheppard: After they scooped up Ford, the darts made a beeline for the gate. We tried to stop them, but...

Sheppard turns to look back at McKay as he says this, indicating that he means himself and McKay in particular here. They had tried to stop the darts. If we assume Ronon did help McKay down the tree, it's even very possible he had been making his way to Sheppard when Ford was taken, having been trying to make his way to Sheppard all day long anyway.

But at the same time, McKay is clearly feeling defensive here. He has chosen to stand behind a table where Sheppard is stood in the middle of the room with Teyla, and he's once more holding his arm as a half-barrier between them. Sheppard himself is standing with his hands on his hips, a classic masculine posturing stance to make himself look bigger. He's not really turned toward anyone but he is at least half-turned away from McKay. His stance seems to be mostly for Caldwell, attempting to assert some measure of dominance as he is basically being scolded by the senior Colonel. Sheppard is supposed to be the military commander of Atlantis and Caldwell is only visiting, is only temporarily in the city, but it still seems as though he is the one representing the entire military establishment here.

While Sheppard looks at McKay when he's talking about the two of them, it's also noticeable that he takes a look at McKay as Caldwell is passing him. Like he knows that he's going to have to keep his eyes on Caldwell as the man moves to the other side of the room, so he wants to take a look at McKay before doing that, just in case. One for the road. Like he's afraid McKay might vanish while he's not looking at him. Here, it kind of seems like his body is being drawn in two different directions all at once, and it's only decorum that is keeping his attention on the superior officer. While Caldwell seems to be motivated by the resentment he feels for Weir (and for Sheppard, even though he had no hand in how things turned out) for having been denied Sheppard's post, he's also not wrong to be concerned. If anything, by escaping their clutches Ford has proved that he is a formidable enemy.

Caldwell: You had him in your sights, and you let him get away. Sheppard: I shot him once. Didn't slow him down. McKay: I shot him too!

McKay pipes in from the sidelines and pretty much everyone seems to ignore him here but what he's saying actually is important, and should factor into their strategic assessment of the situation. He had already been wounded by the time Sheppard took after him, and he still managed to escape. It's not irrelevant. McKay seems kind of proud here, too. He had managed not only to take the shot but he had also hit his target. This is a big deal for him. But at the same time, it's another sign of him dissociating. The reaction does not really fit the tone of the conversation, and he seems to be suppressing what ever his real feelings about having been forced to shoot someone he had been working with for a year. He had an all-around traumatic time on the planet starting from the fact that he really has to be hurting all over from having been hung from the tree, but he seems perfectly ordinary here, perfectly at ease, all things normal. He's not alright but he is projecting normalcy. And also, he is kind of standing up for Sheppard here, against Caldwell. He is attempting to take Sheppard's side, to run interference for him when it comes to the military establishment. He knows just how precarious Sheppard's position is.

What's interesting is that Sheppard aggressively ignores McKay. He continues what he was saying to Caldwell as though there are been no interruption from McKay. And this has more than a little to do with the fact that Sheppard does not know how to cope with what happened to McKay. What he allowed to happen to him. He very likely has all the details now, having received some kind of a report from McKay, and he doesn't know how to deal with the fact that he hadn't been there to protect him, having pawned him off to Lorne (who, it should be noted, has not been invited into this meeting).

Sheppard: He ran into the beam. Weir: Are you suggesting he wanted to be taken? Sheppard: I think he saw it was the only way off the planet. McKay: Well, I can tell you from the quality time I spent with Ford, he was definitely not thinking straight.

What McKay says here is interesting in how he and Ford have been paralleled, and how they both seemed to be showing signs of dissociation on the planet. If Ford was not thinking straight, McKay was not thinking straight. But at the same time, Ford's decision isn't batshit crazy, he was taking what he felt was the lesser of two evils. Sheppard seemed entirely capable and ready to take him down permanently. He had been shot by two of his team members within an hour, so it's not as though he felt very trusting that he'd get a welcome wagon if he returned to Atlantis. But this is also an acknowledgement of the fact that McKay has expertise in not thinking straight because of course he does.

But everyone seems to ignore McKay again, even though he's the best person to assess Ford's mental condition at the moment. What he says is important. But Caldwell is too busy rubbing his "told you so" in Sheppard's face to pay any attention to the peanut gallery, and Sheppard definitely feels like he's on the defensive here. Their discussion isn't just about Ford, it's about establishing authority.

Caldwell: Now thanks to you, he's in enemy hands with information that could compromise all of us. Sheppard: I don't think he'll give us away. Caldwell: Oh, thank you so much for your assurance, Colonel. I'll be sure to include your feelings in my report.

Caldwell smacks Sheppard with the same accusation that every single one of his superiors has had for him: he allows his feelings to compromise his decisions. He spits out the word feelings, even though Sheppard was giving his strategic assessment of the situation (which he has to be basing on McKay's report). And what's really unfair is that Sheppard had been trying to not let his feelings get in the way of the mission. He had made strategic decisions that went against his feelings, like pairing McKay up with Lorne. He had gone to protect Beckett with a rifle instead of going to look for McKay. He had run after Ford instead of helping McKay down the tree. The whole mission, he had run roughshod against his feelings and instincts just to be a good, responsible leader. His feelings do influence his decisions but here, he had purposefully gone against them where if he had followed them, he would have gotten to Ford long before the wraith showed up (either by going with McKay initially or going to McKay once he had contacted Atlantis).

We are also meant to pay attention to Sheppard's feelings with this. Caldwell makes a sarcastic quip about writing up Sheppard's feelings into his report, but the narrative has everything to do with Sheppard's feelings. It's the evolution and progress of Sheppard's feelings that we are watching here. He feels a lot but he thinks he's not allowed to feel, thinks that everyone that has accused him of letting his feelings compromise his command is asking him not to feel, and he struggles with never quite managing to turn his feelings off. He can conceal but he cannot not feel.

He doesn't say anything as Caldwell walks out. None of them do. But he does give the others this "What just happened?" look. He's both looking at the others for confirmation of what he just witnessed and trying to show them the accusation was baseless at the same time, to make it look like he has no idea what the Colonel was talking about, his feelings had nothing to do with anything. He doesn't even have feelings, he is the hardass military commander of this place now. When he looks at Teyla, Teyla returns his gaze because she has precious little idea of what had just transpired. But McKay avoids his eyes, looking down instead, drawing himself in (the thought of Sheppard's feelings seems to make him deeply sad), where Weir looks at him with open concern.

If Sheppard vaguely feels like his masculinity was just attacked, he doesn't know about the not asking and not telling discussion they had back at SGC, Caldwell and Landry exchanging stealthy glances as the unsuitability of Sheppard for this command was discussed. So, it's entirely possible at least Weir interprets what Caldwell says here as a veiled attack at Sheppard's sexual orientation. They made it clear that they don't want Sheppard to even be in the Air Force, let alone have the command of the entire expedition. So it's easy to see how especially Weir might understand Caldwell as inferring that Sheppard is less than a man for letting his feelings dictate his actions which just proves his conviction that queers have no place in the military. But Sheppard does not have this background information, so he seems honestly quite baffled by his behaviour. He's pretty sure he just missed something.

But of course Sheppard's feelings are not insignificant as to how things played out in the end.

While both Ronon and Lorne are introduced in the same episode, Ronon becomes a part of the main cast whereas Lorne is not a part of the ensemble cast but a recurring character. And the later uses of the character shouldn't affect our interpretation of him as a narrative device in this particular episode. As an Air Force major with his own away-team and a science officer, it's obvious we are meant to compare him with Sheppard and the relationship of Lorne with Parrish to Sheppard and McKay's interaction early on in the series. But in this episode, Lorne is also a contrast to Ronon. Sheppard mentions the fable of Androcles and the Lion, and this is key to interpreting the episode:

Sheppard: You ever heard of Androcles and the Lion? Beckett: Aye, and who are you in this retelling? The Romans?

During his exchange with Beckett, it is suggested that Beckett is Androcles and Ronon is the lion, and certainly he is presented with very leonine qualities, up to and including his mane of hair. Having been on the run from the wraith for seven years, he has removed himself from civilized society and his savage nature is emphasized. We are invited to compare Beckett removing the tracker from Ronon's spine to Androcles removing the thorn from the paw of the lion, with Sheppard's hope that the savage former military man would be as thankful as the lion in the fable, helping them find Ford as he promised.

But it's not Ronon who is the lion in this story. Androcles was a runaway slave that hid in a cave. It is Ronon that is Androcles, and it is Ronon that helps remove the thorn from the paw of the lion. The lion? Is John Sheppard. John Sheppard is a dangerous man who is in agony, who is hurting with no way of making the hurt stop, and the thorn in his paw is his belief that his love will get the people close to him killed. The lesson of the fable is that gratitude is the sign of a noble soul, the soul made noble by the choices we make in difficult situations. Choosing to do the right thing (removing the thorn from the paw of a lion) when there is no reward in sight and when doing the right thing might come at a great cost, it is then that the mettle of man is tested. And it's not Beckett whose character is tested in this episode, it is Ronon. He has to make the choice of whether to save a man (McKay) or to run away to save his own life. And this is the crux of the issue.

Lorne and Ronon are in contrast. Both are military men, but where Lorne is clearly civilized and educated (he mentions having gone to 'Major school'), he's also kind of a dick, especially to McKay. He does what he's ordered to do but does not go beyond that, and complains the whole way. He also fails in the task Sheppard gave him, and while Sheppard never explained to him why his task was important, he should have done his duty regardless. Sheppard had trusted him with the most important thing in his life, and Lorne failed to keep him safe.

Ronon, on the other hand, is at this time clearly now more beast than man. His humanity has been chipped away by the long years he has been on the run, and he acts on pure instinct like a wild animal. But when he comes across a helpless man in grave danger, he chooses to do the noble thing, the right thing. He protects McKay with his life just because for him, it's the right thing to do and he could not have chosen otherwise. While the wraith have tried to erase his humanity, Ronon Dex is a good man. He removes the thorn from the paw of the lion just because he can't bear seeing another living thing in pain, because he himself has suffered terrible pain and does not wish it on others.

And it is McKay that is at the centre of this. It is Sheppard's conviction that he himself places McKay in danger and is unable to protect him. And Ronon saves him without knowing anything about him, without knowing his worth or value, just because it is the right thing to do. And for this, Sheppard is grateful. Where Lorne fails, Ronon succeeds.

Sheppard may have chosen Lorne but Ronon is who he needs as his lieutenant (and let's remember that in the beginning of the episode, McKay offers Lorne "protection" in the form of sunscreen and he declines the offer, whereas later we see Ronon put on protection on himself; he puts on the mantle of "protection" where Lorne declines the honour). Someone with both the skills and disposition to protect McKay even with his own life. He could have searched all of the Milky Way galaxy and not find anyone more perfect for the job he needs him for. Sheppard, dangerous and wounded, is so grateful for what Ronon does that he takes him with to Atlantis and eventually makes him his second. And throughout the years, we see him execute the task Sheppard entrusted him with, without fail. It was his failure to protect McKay that was the thorn in his paw, and Androcles, the runaway slave, brought him the gift of mercy.

Just to emphasize this point: Sheppard had no intention of bringing Ronon to Atlantis initially (he is being added to the main cast so obviously it needed to happen, but narrative-wise). He promised Ronon that if he lets them go, he's free to leave the planet ("Untie us, we'll all go to the gate together and you can be on your way"). They had no beef with him, and at no point did they reveal to him that they were from Atlantis, so it's not to protect their ruse of having destroyed the city that he needed to bring Ronon in. He had actually taken a great risk in bringing this man to the city. And this is really important: Sheppard did it because he is grateful. Not because he's sorry for this man, or because he's concerned he's a security risk (in fact, Ronon flat out tells Sheppard that if he wanted to leave, they wouldn't be able to stop him from leaving), not out of the goodness of his heart, not for the sake of pity, not because he just feels in his heart of hearts this is a good man and a great guy.

No, Sheppard is grateful that Ronon saved McKay's life, and he wants to repay him. Because Ronon had returned to him the most important thing in his life, he wanted to repay this by helping him get back to what was important to him. Only, for Ronon it seems to be too late. Everything he knew and loved is gone. Watching him walk away defeated by this knowledge, Sheppard wishes he couldn't feel a damn thing.

Finally, the body language between Weir and Sheppard here, at the end. There are some extras in the background, and from the brief time we see them, it's obvious there is interest between them. They are turned toward each other, their body language is open and relaxed, there's flirting going on. Whether a room showing the smoking ruins of someone's home planet is the right place for flirting is another thing, but they're clearly into each other. Whereas here, Sheppard has his back turned to Weir the whole time. The whole time that they are in this scene, Sheppard is turned away from her and he does not look at her at all. At the very end, he looks like he might say something to her, but then he decides even against that. He has nothing to say. There are no words he can think of that might make this moment feel lighter, that might make her feel better about it. There's nothing he can say that would make him feel better about it. His insides feel like the landscape of Sateda there, before him. Within him stretches an endless desolate wasteland, and he doesn't know how to make it rain again.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

A few weeks ago, when we were having the Visa discussions, you said you suspected that the US military might have some role in securing whatever Harry's visa status is. With this Nigeria visit announcement coming from the Nigerian Dept of defence do you think that suspicion has more meat now? Last week Harry also did that random award announcing for a US army vet while wearing his medals. He seems to be doing a lot of these weird things lately, almost acting like an ambassador for the US army which is just so odd.

Why do you think the army is going with this? What's the basis for having a high profile foreign prince who served in the foreign army being a face of US military? Surely someone in the higher up ranks must find this odd and unsuitable.

The army, pretty much being an arm of the country's govt and security services (even if independent) does not need a face or a brand ambassador. Especially, when these gigs are more beneficial to the person acting important rather than the army itself.

What could Harry possibly bring to the table??

No, I don't think the US military had anything to do with the Nigeria visit. That was all exclusively Harry and Invictus Games / Archewell / whatever charity sponsored them. Largely because if the US military was involved, they'd have sent an American representative, not a British national living in the US.

I suspect why the US military is entertaining Harry may have to do with declining enlistment numbers. They may see him as someone who can help recruit younger generations. The military does do this from time to time - they get worried about declining enlistment so they get schemey and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Don't get me wrong; we still have a huge military, but the enlistment numbers today is a steep 40% drop from the enlistment numbers of the 1980s, and for an all-volunteer force, that's concerning.

It doesn't make any sense to me. The US military has never had celebrity ambassadors like this. They've always used their base commanders, flag officers, joint chiefs, secretaries, other politicians with a military background, etc. for that kind of recognition and acknowledgement. The celebrities are really only used for entertaining troops that are deployed to combat in USO tours (which Meghan participated in during her Suits days).

I know the US military is concerned about Russian, Chinese, and North Korean aggression in the Indo-Pacific but they wouldn't be partnering with an ex-prince to do their negotiations and contribute to their national defense strategy.

This is utterly bizarre and something I can't figure out. I have no idea what the US military's goal with this is.

[female-eren]

vegan radfems are so annoying I literally do not care

I like that vegans exist. I can also in some cases see the connection to feminism and the treatment of women/female animals as a whole (chauvinist attitudes around meat eating being correlated with misogyny, and how we create constant reproduction in farm animals in a way that is terrible for their bodies), although I don't really think that animal rights is a question for feminism to solve or focus on, rather maybe animal activist sub groups. I've been vegetarian for long periods (several years at a time) and cook vegan meals from time to time. But I can't seem to feel full when I don't eat any meat or fish so I ended up eating way more bread/sugar and gaining weight, and I've also developed some deficiencies (iron, primarily). I know you can avoid a lot of deficiencies even on a vegan diet, but it takes a lot more work and energy.

What I don't like is the aggression and immediate defensiveness. And I don't like the argument that some humans are braindead or have developmental disabilities and if we eat animals because they're "dumber" then nothing should stop us from eating those humans. Because if your point is "we can't eat living beings even if they don't have human intelligence" then what is actually okay to eat? I don't like being met with aggressive and extremely ridiculous arguments like that. And I know it's been said a million times in bad faith, but honestly, why is eating plants okay? We know that plants react to stimuli like light and resources like water, and we also know that many species of plants also react to being damaged. Trees warn each other with stress signals when they're "injured", so is pruning and cutting fruit trees okay just because we can't see these signals of stress without sophisticated technology? How come? If the argument against mine is that we don't kill and eat disabled people even if they're developmentally on the cognitive level of a child or even an animal (for example, pigs are generally thought to have the intelligence level of a 4 year old child), then where is the cutoff? Plants don't have central nervous systems, is that the cutoff? Can we farm and eat insects? Both of these options still have some kind of survival instinct. What makes them okay to eat?

The people who say these things aren't jainists even if they're vegan. I don't like it when vegans make the point that meat eaters are simply making emotional arguments like "I want to keep eating meat because it tastes good" when SOME amount of farming and killing is fine and necessary to vegans too. We're learning new things about animals AND plants every day. Some plants like certain species of fungi even seem to have some sort of reasoning and strategy in their patterns of growth. The arguments for eating plants are also emotional because you need to eat something to survive. What I think is a strong argument is the minimization of suffering, because those stress signals simply aren't as important as the much more obvious and material suffering of mass factory farmed animals. And also minimizing detrimental environmental effects. But that argument requires differentiation between sufferings. You have to recognize, confess almost, that some suffering is worse than other kinds. Which was my point from the beginning, a human can be cognitively aware of certain things in a way that creates terror that simply isn't present in another creature in the same way, which is why I don't think targetting those specific emotions/thoughts in an audience is the smartest idea depending on your goal.

My point has always been that the act of eating in itself can't be unethical. Eating is not morally wrong. We as a species evolved to be omnivores, so it's not unnatural or unethical to eat meat in itself. Many species are predatory. I will never be convinced that meat eating in itself is morally reprehensible. What I think is bad about the meat industry has to do with the treatment of the animals, and the effect such farming has on the environment, and the public health issue of too much meat consumption.