#also don’t take this personally if they’re from haikyuu i physically can’t hate them anyway so-

[klwl-truck]

you know what? i’m doing it anyway, CHARACTER ASK BINGO!! you can send any character through the asks (doesn’t necessarily have to be from haikyuu, but it would be better), and I will determine my opinion of them based on this VERY scientific chart 😙

[mrskurono]

hello i am back once again but with this

https://twitter.com/nonlovso/status/1374142549519122436?s=21

(the op elaborates more in the replies + the embedded one on atsumu) in case u can’t see it -> https://twitter.com/nonlovso/status/1374155371145756679?s=21

i love reading these types of tweets, just people talking about the character in canon, analysing what furudate was trying to depict when he wrote these characters. also the phrase “monsters can only thrive among monsters” ???? fuckjng love that, so much to unpack tbh.

idk i just rlly want to see these characters thru the eyes of the author. it’s hard for us readers when 1) we don’t know the thought processes behind the making of each character, and 2) many characters we only see on the volleyball court. but people act differently in different situations. i know it’s a pipe dream but i always hope for more canon haikyuu content outside of volleyball, just regular slice of life content, just teens being teens (i know haikyuu-buu exists but it’s not confirmed to be canon so 💀)

- 🪢 sorry this become somewhat of a rant. this has been on my mind ever since i started liking suna, i couldn’t find posts / tweets like this for suna so i rlly struggled trying to fully understand him (which irritated me bc it felt like he was a one dimensional character 😡)

The amount of nerdy that I am I LOVE shit like this.

Which you know what is interesting is the way each can be laid out for each characters struggle with loneliness and how Sakusa’s is clearly the easiest to identify and yet people chastise him almost the most (Have y’all ever met only children? They can be a little weird and I’m married to one ok so I get it) But ironically Bokuto is one I never thought about (though I’ve thought in depth over Akaashi’s bc he latches to the 3rd yrs and then gets physically left alone) 

Bokuto’s loneliness is weird bc of course when Furudate let out who has siblings (which I got way too nerdy about that bc the family dynamics were real obvious after Furudate gave us siblings to characters) Bokuto is the youngest among three and anyone who’s ever had/known three kids is the baby is almost always the golden child in some way. On purpose or not. Like how much older are the sisters? Are they close? Did they baby Bokuto and that’s why he’s so focused on the team? (bc he needs someone to not really “take care” of him but at least guide his emotions at least) We see Oikawa’s sister is obviously old enough for him to have nephew that old so clearly they weren’t raised too much together (age gap) But Bokuto being the baby among two older siblings (female) in an Asian family really would speak to his need for attention bc he’s 1. The baby and 2. The only male child. Not faulting Bokuto at all bc like, he could really be a dick but he’s not. Which makes me feel like the sisters are closer in age bc if you’ve ever had siblings you know your ego gets to be in check no matter what. Bokuto’s loneliness is just something fun to pick apart bc it’s not exactly loneliness (or at least I don’t see it that way) like out of all of them he’s def seeking validation more than anything it feels like. Anyways- Sorry I’m rambling I like character analysis way too much XD

But god yes the lack of content outside the volleyball realm drives me crazy. Especially post high school in that short 5 year span before MSBY v Schweiden. Which this is my total bias talking but I constantly want to know when and how it happened that Kageyama just, mellowed out. He’s reintroduced not even really with a scowl. Totally unphased by the dumbshit Hoshiumi does, he’s surrounded by little kids (which I still wanna know when kids started to like him bc he’s the only one seen with a lot of younger fans repeatedly) and he smiles like a lot. Growth from the MSBY team always circles back (for me at least) for the four of them being together and growing like that. But Schweiden doesn’t have that substitute brother feel? I mean I think Kageyama and Ushijima get along real well (simpletons) but what about the other teammates? (Hoshiumi still has feral vibes that never leave I love him for that) But Kageyama was with them graduation on basically so who helped him mellow out? Who had such an impact on him that Kageyama kinda relaxed back into his interested, wide eyed and calm middle schooler self who was just enjoying playing volleyball. Like, Furudate??? You can’t just give me my man vibing being sweet and dealing with Hoshiumi’s bullshit and not tell me when it happened?? Was it personal life growth?? Was it the team?? FuruDATE GIVE ME ANSWERS

No one ever really points this out (or at least I haven’t seen it) but the two panels we get of Suna timeskip he’s smiling. I don’t know why but I just feel like that speaks to his character a lot. That he’s actually really a happy individual he just hated high school. He was in the lowest academic class, he loved volleyball but hated any variation of the twins and Kita and he was good at what he did but never really shined over having to deal with everything else. Which I mean he’s def not a spotlight kinda guy but even when they’re watching past games for prep Ukai has to point out Suna is the main point getted for Inarizaki (bc everyone is focused on the twins) I dont know...I just kinda find Suna interesting bc he’s seen as almost mean but timeskip Suna is smiling, chatty with Komori and good enough to be in the top leagues. He always struck me as one of those kids who hated school but was incredibly smart. Which is why I probably liked canon Suna a lot quicker than whatever the fuck the fandom depicts him as. (not to mention the being the older sibling so anyone who’s older knows you tend to be the emotionally calm one to not stir the pot and keep things calm at home which would really explain Suna’s deadpan look a lot just from personal experience as the eldest child)

See now you made me go off, this was supposed to be short but I passed out last night before I could do anything XD Now everyone knows Im a nerd :l

[sorenskyhigh]

Heyyy! I saw you take requests! Imagine: werewolfves, vampires, winged humans and other fantasy/mythological creatures exist (Dungen&dragon races maybe?), What would your favorite Karasuno character(s) be? And, already a happy new year! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

Happy New Year!🎉🎆 I think I'm gonna do all of Karasuno bc they all deserve love and I just love all the Haikyuu characters!!!!! And thank you for putting in a request this is my first!!!!!! Wooohoo!!

Karasuno as D&D

(Or what I think they would be)

Daichi Sawamura

When I think of Daichi I think of a very stout, hardy person.

I know he's 176 or so cm but he's very built and in personality and physical build, sturdy

I also see him very hardworking

Daichi seems very dependable but in a chaotic way

Like he really wants to help but he also simultaneously has NO idea what he's doing

But also I can see him loving the world, people, and animals and nature

A protector but maybe a slight loner or the leader of a group, no inbetween

I honestly think he would be either a Dwarf (the only problem I have with this one is is that I don't view Daichi as a materialistic person like a Dwarf to want gold everything and whatnot) or a Firebolg

I feel either of these could fit him since they are very hardworking and sturdy people. But I lean toward firebolgs more since they are kinda calmer natural people if that makes sense??????

Daichi by no means is a calm and just no worries kind of guy but, I feel like he does have a slow and steady wins the race

Daichi is wise and strong and could live a calm and natural life like a Firebolg

Living with the animals and helping them but also living with a tribe of his people

Koushi Sugawara

I look at Suga as a very loving person that in his own chaotic way tries to help everybody

A mom friend if you will

I also see him getting close with few people a being very ride or die

He also seems a bit like a home body, like he enjoys staying home and being comfortable

Thats why I chose either a Gnome or Hafling

Gnomes are of a tight knit community and are very enthusiastic about life. Learning and building what they can

Building things to help their community and ending the day with a well earned drink with friends and family

Haflings love home comforts

Sitting by the fire and reading a good book

Doing some gardening and whatnot

But some travel and learn and grow intellectually

I think either of these would suit Suga

I can't stop imagining him as a Gnome with little goggles as he works on something small and metal with gears or him sitting in little Hafling attire or some pjs by a fire with some mead in one hand and a good book in the other

Asahi Azumane

I view Asahi as one of my personal favorite tropes of really big and scary but actually a sweet, bumbling mess/really small and adorable but could actually tortures you in a million different ways

Asahi is such a gentle giant but can get serious when he needs to

I also see him as someone very natural and loves nature/animals

That's why I picked either Triton or Genasi (the only thing about Genasi is they're super confident and Asahi very much is not)

Triton are water folk and outsiders (people think Asahi is scary and unapproachable)

They also have good relations with giant seahorses, Hippocampi, and sea lions

Can you imagine Asahi riding a Hippocampus with his gorgeous hair flowing in the waves of the water 😳 muah *chefs kiss* majestic

Anyways 😆

I also see him as a Genasi because they're kinda mysterious people with such a strong connection to nature and elemental energies

But I think he would specifically be an Earth Genasi bc they don't tend to make rash and are superior in strength and solid power

Yū Nishinoya

The little adorable ball of thunderous chaos

Noya seems like someone who loves to cause chaos but NEVER hurt anyone

He wants to have a good time but most people can't quite handle his version of a good time

Thats why I chose Satyr for Noya

Satyrs have the loose construct of a civilization and the wild urges of animals and beasts

Noya is a very independent person but will stick to very particular people

Satyrs are similar

They also view everyone as either a body to dance with, poor soul the mess with, or a sober mind to get absolutely hammered with

Ryūnoske Tanaka

Ryū is just such an awesome character to me

He is the real ride or die never gonna give up on you kind of person

I am not throwing any hate onto the other second years IN THE SLIGHTEST but Ryū did stay the whole time

And yet he seems, to me, to constantly need to prove his self worth

This is why I think he would be either a Human or a Lizardman

Humans are a young race and feel like, in their short lives they need to prove themselves

This drive causes them to be adaptable innovators and pioneers

Bu~ut I also think he would be good among the Lizardfolk

They have their own set of personal rules that they live by that aren't exactly conventional to most other races

Also they can be very food driven who isn't tho

Chikara Ennoshita, Hisashi Kinnoshita, Kazuhito Narita

All three give off similar vibes to me (not just cause they're background characters)

All three feel pretty chill and laid back but like their hardworkers once they have the right motivation

The three of them seem passive as well

Doing what they're told without much question but also like severe outsiders (I know they close themselves off from the others on purpose a bit bc they left and feel guilty)

So I chose Changelings for these three

Changelings are generally harmless, passive beings without interest in other races political affairs

But bc of this most others find them not trustworthy

They kind of don't have their own culture and just slip into other societies

I feel like these three did this with the volleyball team bc they didn't show them ever having some kind grand dream or ambitions

They just kind of float along with certain people they're comfortable with

Tobio Kageyama

Kageyama is a very independent character at heart

It's not that he WANTS to be a lonely necessarily, I feel, but that he wants to prove himself so much and constantly that he pushes people away

Even after he learned about relying on people and what it means to be a team

He stills feels like he should be able to do it himself

I feel like there is an ever constant duality in him

That's why I think he'd be a Half Elf

Human/elf mixes never really belong anywhere bc they either age faster than there elven peers or watch as their human loved ones age and die off much faster than themselves

This is why Half elf/humans keep to themselves

But for Kageyama, I feel if he had never met Hinata, Daichi, Suga, Ryū, or any of them, he would've isolated himself on accident from everyone

Shoyo Hinata

Shoyo is very impulsive but does extremely well with others

He is definitely social and NEEDS to have other people to watch his back

He has shown to be aggressive and super competitive with other players

But he forms strong bonds with those he really cares about

I feel like he would be, specifically a Longtooth Shifter

These shifters specifically are aggressive towards others they are not close to

But are deeply invested in those they have chosen to share their time with

They also are Lupine/dog based beings

And Shoyo definitely has a very dog like personality

They also are more pack oriented than other shifters

They have teamwork and group fluidity

Kei Tsukishima

Tsukishima a very stereotypical character but written in THE BEST WAY

He's that stereotype of antagonist to ally or prude outcast to reliable friend

This was caused by the circumstances of him finding out the situation with his brother

So he decided that no one could be trusted with Yamaguchi as an exception

Elf or Tiefling, did you really expect anything else? 😜

Elven people are very reserved a set themselves apart most of the time from other races, generally thinking of them as inferior or untrustworthy to be around the knowledge Elven people possess

Like Tsukishima they think themselves above other beings with a few that choose to live with with humans

Tieflings are forced away from other races

Because of a past sin that has changed them to look slightly different from others, they are shunned

I relate what happened when Tieflings became a different bloodline of humans to what happened between Kei and his older brother Akiteru

Tsukishimas rejection of companionship is something he does himself, but it is a form of mistrust towards others to not lie to him like he once was

Both Elven and Tieflings are very intelligent in their own differing ways

Elven are very well read and prestigious

Tieflings are good at slight of hand and swindling others bc of the rough cards they've been dealt in life

Tadashi Yamaguchi

Tadashi is a very different person than from what people make him out to be

Everybody makes him out to be an uwu ooga booga baby child that needs protecting

But he's not

That's not to say he doesn't have a large, warm and welcoming heart but he's NOT weak by any means

He's strong and he eventually becomes independent from Tsukishima and doesn't have to be codependent

Tadashi Yamaguchi is an amazing hardworker that is learning about the world and is trying to better himself slowly day by day

But there is the soft, kind and helpful side of him that would just do anything for a struggling stranger

That's why I chose either a Tortle or Kobold

I see him being maybe a Tortles that lives a simple life filled with schedules and living a very ritualistic life

They live simply and are very personable beings

But there's also Kobolds who are dragon like creatures that are INWARDLY aggressive but are industrious beings

They hate larger beings as they're short but will show respect if need to but would show backhanded and passive aggressive ways to show their displeasure

They also don't like direct confrontation and would rather entrapt another creature or being than directly fight them

They are also cunning and have a knack for plan making with which they share through out their entire tribe

Kiyoko Shimizu

I see Kiyoko as a very dependable person but also very independent and very strong and strong willed

Basically a feminine icon, honestly

She can do just about everything but seemingly has her own agenda

You're very lucky if her agenda should happen to align with you and your goals because she is an indestructible force not to be dealt with lightly

And yet, she is above all else a women

Feminine, beautiful, and incredibly amazing (as all women are)

I chose Aasimar for Kiyoko

Aasimar are beings that are often descendants of celestial or higher beings

They generally hold good morals and are justice deliverers

They generally serve a guardians of law that strike at evil, lead by example, and dish out justice where it is needed

They are cautious of others and sometimes misunderstood as they did what they do what they believed to be right

Aasimars are also extremely empathetic and are often times hurt by the prejudice they suffer in early years as many don't like what they don't understand

Hitoka Yachi

Yachi IS NOT THE SOFT, DEFENSLESS, CRYBABY EVERYBODY MAKES HER OUT TO BE

Yachi is shy and nervous but that is only bc she was accidentally persuaded into an intimidating world of giants

And for a short and petite framed girlt hat is TERRIFYING at first

But Yachi stepped up to the plate and batted away everyone's shit expectations for her because she rose to become an amazing manager for the team

She became independent from her mother's harsh ideas of her and showed her how powerful she can be

She may be small but she is truly mighty

This is why I picked Centaurs for her

Centaurs are the swiftest out of the humanoids and build peaceful communities

They hunt what and where they wish, as they generally move after a few years in one place, move

They highly value personal choice and individuality among their tribes

They also love and worship nature, many wanting to devote themselves to a higher power and/or become druids

They generally bear no ill will towards anyone unless the opposers strike first

Thank you @popcorntime-doodles for giving me my first request I hope you like this and I hope I did a good job

Again this is just my opinion and how I see the characters and the many races of D&D

Also again I do request I have a character masterlist in my bio ❤

@multifandombrainrot @kneecapstealingalien @akabxne @jiheonity @weareallhumans123 @smallmangi @canadian-crow @just-jellyfish @immiamarais @i-need-coffee-now-pls @foreveryoung050 @kuroos-world @luminasapphire @silverfire6 @shadowsbutdead @ghostexhibit @simpfornishinoya @goshikisimp @anothershadeofpink @mestayanon @japoga

[aitarose]

my gaang for nationals part 1

contains: permanent appreciation post for some of my really really close friends/mutuals (if you’re not in this i’m sorry, but i’d love to talk more if you’re interested!) in no particular order. where they fit in the scenario in which we’re all in haikyuu

notes: i love making these and i love you all, so here’s something that randomly came to mind when i read hesther’s love fest :) also, i’m clearly a libero asdjfkl. oh and there will be a part two to this for my other mutuals, but i’m tired and want to stop typing sooo that’ll come tomorrow maybe

↳ directory

+

@firelordhesther​: hes

↳ general words: 

hello mother, i’m rewriting this paragraph because i’m pretty sure you managed to read the first draft and i wanted to surprise you so here’s something new. i’m going to be nice since this is a public post and i don’t want strangers to see how much ~love~ i have for you. you’re the only one who can tell me what to do, like i actually listen to you which is weird..i don’t even listen to myself usually. ngl you scare me sometimes, but it’s a good kind of scary. ily..i guess. see you whenever i decide to drive down to the yeehaw land.

↳ team position: captain

besides the icky stuff up there, i think that you’d be the team captain if we were on a volleyball team. you have a way with words in which you can reign chaos in with a simple paragraph. you’re also very authoritarian, whether you mean to be or not, and then you give everyone advice in a nice way that doesn’t make us feel stupid. i’d listen to you if you were my captain, and i think everyone else would too.

@nekomabvc​: lina-chan

↳ general words: 

you’re my favorite person to harass. you’re literally me but in a nicer and whiter font. i really like making obscure memes about you and then emailing them to your personal email. that’s funny—besides all of that you’re like my bff lina-chan..my internet bff. my irl’s get really annoying sometimes and it’s nice to know that i can just text you and you usually answer, unless you’re doing your million step bathroom routine. and whenever i’m on the phone, ella always thinks i’m talking to you and it’s really annoying because i don’t like you..but also like..aishiteru. 

↳ team position: setter

you always say that setter is the only position that you’d physically be able to play, but i feel like you fit the position personality-wise as well. you’re very in control with everything around you, you like things to be a certain way and get frustrated when they’re out of place. you think logically over creatively, and would take control of the team in a way that no one else could. when you get in the zone, you can be really motivating and you’re good at guiding steps and practice. you’d be a really good setter.

@calcifers-newjersey-accent​​: ella

↳ general words: 

hello. i hate you. cancel quesadillas.

↳ team position: middle blocker

first of all, you’d be total middle blocker perfection considering your height and stature. bitch be literal tsunami in femal forme. you’d be jumping and popping and going BOP BOP to all those balls, and everyone would be like woah! she’s really good! anyways, you’d be a good defense because you’re always ready to help someone in need, whether that’s physically or emotionally. that’s it. my brain hurts from saying nice things.

@agniikaii​​: kyle (kaail)

↳ general words: 

kyle you’re my favorite asian, other than my little irl asian bitch named after a fucking spice, and i love calling you kyle and making frat references that you don’t understand. you’re very funny and i really like horny hours because i get to see all of the hot men that you like, even if they’re blonde..ew. you’re twelve hours ahead of me, and that twelve more hours that you have to do calculus homework, and that sucks..deal with it ig. find that derivative!!

↳ team position: wing spiker

you’d 100% be on offense. you’re like hinata, you’d bounce around and just pop those balls down to the floor. you’re small and probably fast if you really tried?? i don’t know how online gym works, but i bet you’re killing it girlfriend! you go! keep those boys thirsty! i’m laughing at myself idk what else to say. you have an aggressive side sometimes, and i can just imagine you bringing it out on the court.

@pxnk-velvet​​​: angie

↳ general words:

angelina argentina anal michael. you are so very talented in the creativity it astounds me. you’re such a good artist and have so much potential as a writer it’s just, augh, so proud. you make me laugh when you say Periodt! with that peppa pig meme, and you always send it even when it makes no sense in the conversation and it just makes me giggle hehe. 

↳ team position: ace

i don’t know if you know what the ace does yet, but they’re basically the powerhouse of the team. you definitely DEFINITELY have an aggressive side, and we’ve seen it come out a couple times and you would be perfect for this position. mwah. just perfect. with you as our ace, we’d never have to worry about that stupid wall and you’d just be the best. that’s it. the best.

@councilspectres​​​​: my new wife (just married)

↳ general words: 

HELLO HANNAH. i don’t know if you’re ever going to see this, because you never saw my last one pain, anywho that doesn’t matter. what matters is you’re very nice and funny, also horse girl, and you pop in at fun times. i can’t wait to go on our honeymoon to wyoming and have a great time with those horses. love u.

↳ team position: teacher advisor

i don’t think you watch haikyuu, and this is obviously not an actual position on the team—but you give off such takeda energy it’s crazy. he’s such a nice guy and just wants the best for everyone, he’s always there for them when things get tough, but also doesn’t hover. you’d be the best teacher advisor, and all the other clubs would be jealous.

@probablydisgusting​​​​​: sophia

↳ general words: 

hi sophie. your dog is super cute and i added myself to the private story today, but besides that you are very VERY funny and i really enjoy listening to your tangents, because it feels like i’m not the only one who can talk forever. you were the very first person to interact in the original chat and that’s really cute and i miss those days even though the snap gc is much better.

↳ team position: pinch server

you definitely don’t watch haikyuu, but if you know anything about volleyball you’d know that the pinch server is someone that the entire team relies on to change up the game. they come in when the team is at their wits end and save the say, which is just like you when you randomly pop into the chat and entertain us! you’d be a fire pinch server and would cheer SO loudly from the sidelines.

[remuswriting]

What I’ve Learned In My Creative Writing Class: Character

Disclaimer: I may sound aggressive and people may think I’m “calling them out” but I’m not.  When looking at things to address, I just scrolled through Tumblr to see what the most requested things were.  Nothing against anyone.

Here is a mixture of things I learned from my professor and have learned over creating characters the last 11 years.  In writing, character is probably the most important thing.  If you write a character that doesn’t keep the reader entertained or become attached to them, then your character isn’t doing their job. It’s similar to if we know someone super boring, typically we try to avoid them (I could just be a bad person though).  In x reader writing, Y/N is a character.  Characters need more than just a name and description but a backstory, personality, insecurities, and identity.

Backstory

I kind of blend backstory and personality in this but I think it flows together??

Y/N needs a backstory just like canon characters do.  They need a family, friend group, interests, childhood memories, and more.  The reader doesn’t have to know all these things but the author does.  How do you know what your character would do if you don’t even know your character? I’ll repeat this; Y/N is a character. We may not know how you picture them physically and can come up with that ourselves, but that’s all we can do. We can’t create a personality for Y/N because that’s your job.  I may get controversial in this.

You’re requested to write flirty reader.  Why is Y/N flirty?  How is Y/N flirty?  Are they trying to gain something from acting like that?  Are they just flirty on accident?  Have they always been flirty?  Did something happen that now they act like that?  You can tell when there is no depth to a character when you don’t have any of these questions answered.  I become more interested when a character mentions that Y/N hasn’t always been flirty like they are now and I’m curious as to why because it could answer one of the questions listed above.  I’m aware that requests like that are meant for quick fluff but I’m never satisfied with fluff.  There’s never enough substance to a character for me to really like it.  Before I point out other commonly seen things that could be enhanced, let me explain what I mean by the things I explain with one of my own pieces.

In Kisses, a Hinata fluff drabble I wrote, I pictured Y/N’s whole day as well as friends, relations to people, his college major, and why he shares government with Tsukishima before I started writing and only wrote 634 words.  I hinted at those things because it was important to in order to get the whole effect of what I’m trying to portray.

Y/N says his day is okay and his government class was boring, even with Tsukishima next to him. He hates his government class, which either means his professor sucks or it’s hot his strong suit academically. In this context, it’s the first one. He and Tsukishima share the same major: Paleontology.  He’s how Y/N and Hinata met each other and is decently close to Y/N.  They’ve matched up schedules because of this.  I didn’t write all of this because I doubt the reader wanted me to go on a tangent about it but I wanted there to be a justified reason of why Y/N mentioned Tsukishima so casually.  It also just adds more to me as a writer when writing because there’s more to work off of.

Y/N is close to Hinata’s teammates, which means they’ve been dating for a while.  He knows how Osamu owns an onigiri store and knows Atsumu well enough that he doesn’t particularly like him because of his personality. He’s nice to him though and tries to make him feel included because Y/N’s friends made him feel like the third wheel when Hinata wasn’t there.  It shows that there’s a kindness to him and makes you wonder if that’s why Hinata fell for him.

I thought of all of this before I started writing.  It adds more personality and depth to the character, even if minimal, if you know their backstory.  You don’t have to have an entire childhood backstory (unless needed) but it helps to know more about your character beyond the fact that they’re flirty.

Focus

Don’t focus a character around one thing.

The flirty character thing is part of a personality and can be woven into different things when done right. A tall reader shouldn’t be just about how scared everyone is of them because their height.  How does Y/N feel about their height?  Are they self-conscious?  Do they even care?  Also, for the love the god, stop requesting seven foot readers.  I have received four of those in the past and it’s unrealistic and annoying. So, Y/N is tall.  What else do they have about them?  Let’s say they are insecure of how tall they are, what do they do to hide that insecurity?  A fun example of what I’m trying to say is in “Roy Spivey” by Miranda July.  In the first three to four paragraphs, she mentions her height and what she does to go against it in a way.

For this reason, I always let men see me asleep early on in a relationship. It makes them realize that even though I am five feet eleven I am fragile and need to be taken care of. A man who can see the weakness of a giant knows that he is a man indeed.

This may not exactly scream “I am insecure of my height” by any means but she is aware of her height. Instead of sleeping, what does your character do to distract from their height if they’re self-conscious over it? Or do they love the fact they’re tall? If so, then what to do they do to show it off?  Being tall is something but how someone reacts to it is another thing.

This applies to more than just tall readers but also readers who blush all the time (Touma Kikuchi from Ao Haru Ride), short readers, etc.  You can use your characters so much better if you know they feel about the things you’re focused on.

Accuracy

If you’ve followed me long enough, then you know I have a thing about accuracy.  I do a lot of research for everything I write, even if I think I am extraordinarily knowledgeable about the subject.  This part is pretty optional depending on who you are as writer.  I like things to feel real and be accurate but there are people who don’t care about that. Neither side is wrong.  I do this a lot because of research I’ve done for novels I’ve written before and it makes me feel content.  For Haikyuu, I just know the timeline near exact to where I don’t have to check to see what month certain things happened in.  This is a me thing because I think it helps.  It may not, writing is all opinion based anyways.

Volleyball player/manager Y/N is a common thing I see and I have written for both of them.  I know literally nothing about volleyball, not counting what is taught in Haikyuu as well as the couple of matches my brother and I watched on YouTube, so I researched things.  Sports are one of those things that it is hard to be 100% accurate unless you know the sport.  I try not to write out game scenes because I don’t know how to explain what each move is but I can do a recap after the match of a character thinking it over. They’re thinking about how maybe the blockers blocked a spike or they fucked up a receive or how angry someone was when something happened.  If you write in third person, this creates a more first person like atmosphere and makes the reader closer to the character.

Accuracy with characters can do a lot to make them well-rounded and realistic.  This can go into other things besides sports like choir, band, cheer, soccer, basketball, etc. (I am actually decent at writing soccer because it’s the best sport ever.)

For me, realism and accuracy makes the story more enjoyable.  In my class, we discussed how flat character who are doing something incorrectly make us put a story down faster than anything else.  You have to see Y/N as a character in order to be able to use them to your full ability.  You can’t do half-assed anything with them because they are essentially more important than a canon character because it’s focused on them.  Basically, put the same effort into everyone you write but the focal character (usually Y/N) should be focused on more and should be the character you know the best.

Surroundings

Everyone is influenced by their surroundings. This typically affects their decisions and view but maybe not their personality.  I’ve discussed this before on Japan and LGBT, but I’ll do it again.

Let’s say that even though Y/N is the gayest person to ever exist, they aren’t likely to be open about it in Japan.  In my previously mentioned post, I talked about how gay relationships are still seen as taboo (it is decreasing slowly though) and usually fetishized.  Trans individuals are even more likely to not be open about it.  Wandering Son by Takako Shimura is one of my favorite mangas that talks about LGBT things but sadly it does make trans men feel slightly like a joke.  It shows the language and shame forcing trans people to stay in the closet.  From numerous articles I’ve read, the shame is decreasing but that doesn’t mean the struggle isn’t as bad as it has been.  I believe the youngest person to have sterilization surgery (what must be completed to be seen as your gender to the Japanese government) was 20 years old. Also, there are very few places they can go to receive hormone replacement and gender therapy.

I’m focusing on Japan for this because it’s where anime takes place.  I write male reader and I take this into account while writing.  It affects how they interact with others and their thought process.  Are they struggling with their identity?  What is their family like?  Even if their parents are accepting, are going to be open about it?  How far are they willing to go to hide it?

Understanding the surroundings of your character affects who they are and how they respond to things. This also takes part in their internal struggles and maybe what the conflict of the story could be if focused on their identity.

Internal Struggle

Everyone has at least one internal struggle.  Usually people have a lot more but in fiction you try to focus on one because real life doesn’t always transfer over in that regard.  Struggles make your decisions though because you’re trying to deal with it. Characters are meant to feel like real people.  My professor said that the goal is to write your character to where people will talk about them as if they’re a real person.

This can be difficult to do with Y/N but that doesn’t mean you can’t try.  I always try to think of what is a struggle Y/N is going through that is either easily seen or never addressed.  If I went through all of my one-shots, then I can tell you and explain why I did that.  Does having a struggle mean that people see them as real people?  No but at least there’s a chance they could.  I really tried to make Y/N in my ficlet First Words more realistic but I don’t think I did the best job.  It’s okay to not be perfect at it because it’s really hard to nail down original characters but reader characters are even harder.

It doesn’t matter how hard it is to make a character realistic because they do still need a struggle. There is character driven story and plot driven story; people prefer the first.  An example would be Harry Potter or there’s also Forest Gump.  We’re not focused so much on each plot point but what the character is doing during it.  We love the character more than we love the story.

[notdeadjack]

annual rec list 2020

13 fandoms represented:

Part 1: 55 fics total

Leverage: 13 fics Star Wars: 3 fics  Star Trek: 2 fics  Haikyuu!!: 13 fics   Teen Wolf: 3 fics Jurassic Park: 1 fic The Witcher: 1 fic  Merlin: 3 fics  Borderlands: 2 fics  She-Ra and the Princesses of Power: 2 fics Naruto: 8 fics  Dorohedoro: 3 fics 

Part 2:

Boku no Hero Academia: 211 fics here

If the read more breaks, I am truly sorry oTL

List split into two bc tumblr called me out on reading too many fics and wouldn’t let me post all of them at once boo

-

Leverage

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/799639    your body is a war zone but you are not a ruin by postcardmystery    2k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, 

“Make me a sandwich,” Parker says, so he does.

“Cut the damn wire,” says Hardison, so he does.

“Jump,” says Parker, says Hardison, and he never needs to ask, “How high?”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12475840    Well Worn, Well Loved by BabylonsFall    3k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, fluff, sharing clothes, 

You would think, given everyone’s space issues this wouldn’t be a thing. But it was. And none of them were complaining.

(Everyone steals each others clothes. They're all surprisingly okay with it.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6363724    Hotel Heart by Laughsalot3412    45k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, canon-AU, psychic abilities, mind rape, 

He had a sniper rifle scoping the girl’s bright eyes and the guy’s smile.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407967    The Safe and Sound Job by flutterflap    15k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, injury, h/c, 

Eliot Spencer doesn't do hospitals.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861028    like a map of a place you've never been by bydaybreak    24k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, pining, slow burn, fake/pretend relationship, 

He knows it’d be so fucking easy, if he’d let himself. Because he’s easy for them, has been since that first job, since the day he hauled Hardison’s ass out of a building about to explode. It’d be so easy.

So he won’t.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928687    the warmth of your doorways by gyzym    3k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, 

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1357111    Old Dog by thingswithwings   16k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, service submission, bdsm, mild puppy play, 

Eliot's their hitter, and taking on any physical threats to the team is his job, but there's something beyond professionalism – even beyond the obvious fact that Eliot relishes the fight itself – in the way he puts his body between Parker or Alec and any potential threat. Alec has a good view of Eliot's back on a lot of jobs, and he reads something in the tight line of Eliot's shoulder, in the slow turn of his foot as he steps into a fighting stance.

Something possessive.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8823406    Motion Parallax by Laughsalot3412    8k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, outsider pov, 

So, apparently Amy’s boss was part of a criminal gang.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9071065    Wash the sorrow from off my skin by Keiya    2k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, soulmates, 

He lays on his bed and knows without a doubt that his soulmates can read Fucking Genius on their skin, or maybe just Genius, but Fucking gives a ring to it.

Because he is, baby, he is.  

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854310    Love (By Any Other Name) by ChouetteAnanas41    5k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, 

Eliot fell in love on a Tuesday.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3928888    Pancakes by saavik13     7k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, mentions of rape and child abuse, h/c, 

Parker can't ever ask a simple question.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3556844    No Time Like the Present by waterbird13    22k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, past Moreau/Eliot, violence, murder, child murder, 

Eliot's past with Damien Moreau is even more complicated than most people know about, and of course that would come up again when dealing with his incredibly complicated present feelings for Parker and Hardison. Eliot isn't a hundred percent sure how love works, but he's pretty positive it exists only to bite him in the ass.  

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4542576    Guard Your Eggshell Heart by letsgostealafandom    14k, Alec/Parker/Eliot, praise kink, 

Parker had a theory, and her theory was this: it made Eliot really happy when they noticed the things he did for them. It made Eliot happy when they made sure he knew they noticed the things he did for them. And when Eliot thought they didn't notice, it made him- not unhappy, but something worse, something like he knew that was all he could expect from anyone and he'd resigned himself to it a while back. Once she'd noticed it, she couldn't stop, and the realization of how often they took Eliot for granted made her stomach twist uncomfortably.

.

-

Star Wars

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/5783371    This is Called Falling by Cartopathy    24k, Finn/Poe, h/c, 

Poe stood and he walked, remembering suddenly his only friend on the planet was gone and there was little hope of finding a town, much less hospitality.

And yet he walked in hope.

There was a stormtrooper—he needed to find the stormtrooper. ________________________________

“Was Poe important to you? You were close in the Resistance?” Rey asked.

Finn cleared his throat. “Yes, because I’m in the Resistance and he was in the Resistance so we've known each other for a while. He was important to me, yes.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546007    Stop Your Fear by gloss    12k, Finn/Poe, sex pollen, dub-con, public sex, pining, 

Imprisoned by space pirates, Finn and Poe get to know each other better. When Finn gets whammied with sex pollen, Poe helps him out, not entirely unselfishly.

Afterward, they try to clean up the mess and take care of each other.

please note: sex is entirely consensual, but within a compromised situation. Dub-con, not non con.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6904006    Against Disaster by gloss    29k, Finn/Poe, pining, PTSD, 

Not that he loved Finn. There was no way he could love someone he'd spoken to for all of ten minutes, no matter how lifechanging those minutes proved to be.

He loved the feeling of it all. The thrill, the novelty, the rush. Everything he'd shared with Finn had been more exciting than the rest of his life put together, and his life had been far from sedate.

That's what he told himself, anyway.

__ Poe's a disaster and Finn's still got a lot of brainwashing to work through.

.

-

.

Star Trek 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/849107   Treasures by yeaka    17k, Kirk/Spock, AU, pon farr, soul bond, 

Sometimes the other Vulcans wonder how Spock managed to obtain such an exotic bondmate, and sometimes Spock wonders himself.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11697684    Echolocation by Darksknight    8k, Kirk/Spock, 

Kirk and Spock don’t realize that they’ve bonded right away. The rest of the crew is a different story.

.

-

.

Haikyuu!!

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21762448    discovering the smile of one kageyama tobio by Emlee_J    8k, Hinata/Kageyama, fluff, 

Kageyama blinks once before a grin of his own spreads over his face. Shouyou’s breath halts in his lungs at the sight, and he wills for time to stop, just so he can drink it in. He sees it sometimes, when they’re playing - Kageyama’s fierce smile when they pull a combo off just right, when they show their opponents how possible the impossible can really be. But then there’s another serve, another rally, and the moment is gone.

'Shame', Shouyou thinks to himself, as he lets his eyes roam over Kageyama’s stupidly happy face, taking in the creases that are from joy rather than frowning, for a change. 'It’s a really nice smile.'

-

In which it's their third, and final, year in high school and Hinata has only one goal: to make Kageyama smile outside of volleyball.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5479973    75% Useless Pining by ravelqueen   4k, Nishinoya/Asahi, pining, hair kink, 

People often ask Asahi why he keeps his hair long. He gives them a different reason every time, from being too lazy to cut it, over saying he thinks it looks nice on him, to just ducking his head and hoping they'll move on.

The actual reason is pettier and smaller and has nothing to do with his fashion sense and everything to do with Nishinoya.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2330126    Exception to the rule by Mysecretfanmoments   2k, Sugawara/Daichi, 

In which Sugawara Koushi just so happens to belong to the .001% of guys Daichi might conceivably fall for, and it takes a confused third party for Daichi to realize it.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21580309    Just Another by Mooifyourecows    103k, Sugawara/Daichi, drama, humour, childhood friends, flip-flopping,

Everything is changing. But in the midst of exams, plans for the future, nationals, and a tumultuous new fracture to his family life, at least Sawamura Daichi can always count on his friendship with Sugawara Koushi to stay the same.

Or so he thought.

-

(RN: some of the best flirting i’ve ever read. also, Sugawara’s family? A++)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2940728    boys by buu    5k, Sugawara/Daichi, 

Before, if Suga had been asked to pick a type, he would have hummed and thought it over, maybe said something vague like “nice eyes” or “nice legs” or “a good personality”. Now, he can only think “Daichi”.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189353   Perfectionism by Mysecretfanmoments    2k, Sugawara/Daichi, practise kissing, accidental boners, 

“I just wish it was something you could practice before you have to… perform.” He narrows his eyes, imagining it. “Like a CPR class.”

Suga raises an eyebrow. “You want to practice it. Beforehand.”

“Yeah. Are you offering?”

((Daichi doesn't like to be bad at things--kissing included--and Suga is willing to help him practice.))

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6411370    Jealousy by surveycorpsjean    7k, Sugawara/Daichi, jealousy, 

It’s so horrid- it feels like sludge in Suga’s stomach, like poison in his veins, like an itch behind his skin.

It burns, it stings. He hates it, he hates it more than anything, but he can’t help it.

He’s hopelessly in love.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7496004    Hinata Shouyou's Fucking Face by Esselle    17k, Hinata/Kageyama, 

'Kageyama doesn't know why Hinata's face rubs him the wrong way—it just does. So one day, in an attempt to pinpoint exactly what it is that makes Hinata's Shouyou's fucking face so fucking annoying, he begins to catalogue all the things that really tick him off.

This proves to be startlingly revelatory.'

--

A thought-provoking study and critical analysis of Hinata Shouyou's stupid face, by Kageyama Tobio.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1831732    need a friend you can fuck, i can be that by readbetweenthelions    5k, Nishinoya/Tanaka, friends with benefits, 

noya and tanaka are just really good friends who have a bit of good, not-exactly-clean friendly sex sometimes. here's the first time it happens.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3332642    it's fine by lokh    2k, Nishinoya/Tanaka, phone sex, just dudes being bros, 

have you ever wanted to jack off but you're in the middle of talking to someone and you can't exactly tell them that you've gotta jack off so you either sit through it awkwardly or make an excuse to leave? imagine that they found out and tell you that it's fine if you just jack off mid-conversation. now imagine that it's not you and it's tanaka and noya. that's the whole plot.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5103794   find out what we're made of by sweggscellent    2k, Nishinoya/Tanaka, first kiss, frottage, 

It’s weird, noticing things about your best friend when your best friend is literally the goofiest person on the planet, but Noya does; the swell of his powerful calves, the line of his back when his tee shirts cling to it with sweat, the strangely graceful determination on his face when they’re up against a particularly strong team. It almost makes Noya uncomfortable.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205864   Rule 4 by mean_whale    15k, Nishinoya/Tanaka, friends with benefits, friends to lovers, 

Nishinoya and Tanaka are tricked into watching gay porn, and curiosity gets the better of them.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5979136    Roundabout by Shaples    12k, Nishinoya/Tanaka, past asanoya, post-canon, emotional h/c, 

“Actually I, uh. I was thinking I might stick around. Like, long term? I mean, if you haven’t already found someone to rent the other room, and you still. You know. Want to live together.”

Tanaka’s eyes widened in surprise. “I thought that you and Asahi were-”

“Yeah,” Noya said. “We aren’t.”

“Oh,” he said. And when Noya didn’t look up from the label on his beer bottle, Tanaka breathed out, “Shit.”

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13344624    And They Were Roommates by Hella_Queer    7k, Hinata/Kageyama, first time, trans character, 

“I can like...eat you out if you want.”

Silence surrounds them. This was it. Three years of friendship down the tubes. Kageyama would move out, or demand he move out, and he'd be forever branded as the Pervert Roommate. No one would talk to him ever again. His life was over!

“Okay.”

“Whaaaaa?!”

.

-

Teen Wolf

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22812937    Five Times Derek Heard Something He Wished He Hadn’t, and the One Time He Did by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)   14k, Stiles/Derek, 5+1, pining, 

“This place is hell,” Derek decided. “This place is absolutely hell.”

How was it possible he’d gone so many years of his life without hearing anything nearly as over the top as he had just visiting Stiles at school? This had to be some kind of record for the most disgusting things he’d ever overheard.

--

(I mean really, the title says it all lol)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27872045    Can You Feel A Whole New Part of Your World? by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)    53k, Stiles/Derek, AU, neighbours, fluff, 

“Can you hear me singing in the shower?” Stiles blurted out, because he had to know, now. If one of his neighbours had slid that note under his door, then it meant Parrish as another neighbour could hear him, too! He had to know if this was all a huge joke and one person had walked by and overheard him and decided to fuck with him.

Or if everyone could hear him and he now had to leave the country.

Parrish gave him a weird look at the question, but answered anyway, making Stiles’ plans to leave the country speed up in his mind.

“Of course I can. You’re actually not bad. Though you have been singing a lot of Frozen lately, getting kind of tired of the soundtrack.”

“Oh my God!” Stiles shouted in his face.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6156885    you're never too much of an old dog to teach a duckling a new trick by driedupwishes    2k, gen, light angst, 

“Y’know, it’d be real neat if someone gave me a gun,” Stiles says.

And Chris does.

.

-

Jurassic Park

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5199038   5 Times the Raptors Tried to Kill Miriam, and 1 Time They Didn’t by JulisCaesar   22k, OCs, gen, blood, science, freaking dinosaurs heck yeah!

Miriam thought the job working for InGen sounded perfect. Tropical island, good pay, first dibs on publications… At least, she thought so until she found out that she was the only behaviorist on staff. Once the eggs hatched, it became all she could do to keep up–with the dinosaurs, the science, and her health.

.

-

The Witcher

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22247587   swallow my breath and take what is mine by anacaoris    6k, Jaskier/Geralt, first time, sugar baby!geralt, 

“It began with the baths.

It had been so easy to dismiss at first. Some attempted to win him over with kindness-with-a-catch when in need of something, a bed for the night, a pouch of coin, a good drink to lower the cost.”

Jaskier likes to take care of Geralt. Geralt very quickly takes notice.

.

-

Merlin (BBC)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7287    In Want of a Wife by syllic    43k, Merlin/Arthur, 

When Merlin first hears that Arthur has been betrothed, his ribs pull inwards with an odd little hitch, and he only allows himself a second—which he needs in order to coordinate spinning in place without falling on his face—before he’s running to Arthur’s chambers.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2193282   The Frog Prince by Clea2011     58k, Merlin/Arthur, canon AU, disability, 

Canon era AU. A teenage Arthur is hit by a mutation spell intended for Uther. Unable to speak and hidden away by his father because of his appearance, Arthur is left lonely and isolated. A few years later Gaius takes on a new apprentice, someone who can understand Arthur and see through the enchantment. Someone with magic.

But breaking the spell was never going to be easy.

.   

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835089    Such a Life, a Heart, a Mind as Thine by dreamlittleyo    42k, Merlin/Arthur, sex pollen, first time, non-con, soul bond, guilt, 

In which Arthur inadvertently triggers an ancient magic, but he does not face the consequences alone.

.

-

.

Borderlands

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8628043   How They Met Themselves by Wheat From Chaff (wheatfromchaff)    205k, Timothy/Rhys, slow burn, past abuse, 

Rhys wants to change Pandora. He wants to make things better, build things up. He wants, more than anything, to prove Jack wrong.

Tim just wants to get paid.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9951275    you'll find me buried by Wheat From Chaff (wheatfromchaff)    7k, Jack/Timothy, fight club, hate sex, dub-con, 

It's not every day you face yourself in the ring.

.

-

.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16748245    tooth for a tooth by nowweareunstoppable    3k, Adora/Catra, exploration, first time, biting, 

Now, though, Adora was on top of her, and her chest heaved in a way that was decidedly not sleepy. She pleaded with Catra with her eyes, then her words, “Please, I just-” before cutting off, not knowing what to even ask for.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19767655    More than Words by SimonKilnsworth    5k, Kyle/Rogelio, first time, 

Rogelio gets woken up in the night as Kyle struggles with his feelings. 

.   

-

.

Naruto

.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/37259    Ten Years Gone series by 100demons    80k, gen, time-travel, 

Thirty year old Kakashi was supposed to have been killed by Pein during the Invasion. Instead, he wakes up in the body of his twenty year old self.

(It gets a lot more complicated.)

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25538635    Better It Be You by cricket_aria    4k, Kakashi/Sakura, dodging arranged marriage, 

When Sakura's parents realize that she would be ill-trained for any job in the civilian world should she ever be too badly injured to remain a ninja they decide to try to arrange a marriage for her with one of the members of a major clan, so that at least if that day comes she'll still have value within the ninja community. Too bad they didn't discuss it with her first.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14143890   the chosen fruit by theformerone    51k, Sakura/Shikamaru, AU, honey pot, sex work, exhibitionism, implied non-con, kidnapping, drama, politics, 

Sakura is a rōnin, but she's good enough with a blade to find work. She's trusted at Fukiage because she's a nameless woman who can't afford to bite any hand that feeds her.

Shikamaru's awful attitude makes him a favorite in the teahouse. He makes his money on his back but his real trade is information. There is rot in Fire Country. Shikamaru sees it, and he is going to burn it at the roots.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16304705     Being Over-Prepared is Impossible (and other mottos) by Pleasedial123   gen, 40k, canon-AU, BAMF!team 7, 

In one world, Kakashi awoke, felt grieved at being assigned a team he sees his own in, and he let that grief make him a lazy teacher. He saw himself in Sasuke, Obito in Naruto, and Rin in Sakura. He woke, saw himself in them, and took a large step back, regretting accepting them as his new team. In another world he was quite hands off, merely a watcher because it was so very painful to watch. He saw himself and all his mistakes in this new team of his.

In this world, Kakashi awoke, saw the similarities, and instantly panicked. He suddenly realized what he had done, passing a team. Kakashi was left scrambling not to repeat old mistakes and regrets. This team would not suffer the fate of his team.

In this world, simply put, Kakashi became a teacher. This is the starting of a new Team seven.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13690269     there to welcome you home by theformerone    1k, Sakura/Neji/Shikamaru, fluff, 

Sakura gives birth to their daughter in the bathtub in the main house on the Nara compound.

Neji comes home and nearly has a stroke.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902124    brown eyes steal me by theformerone   10k, Kiba/Shikamaru, canon-au, arranged marriage, mutual pining, 

"You planted a -,"

"I planted a tree, Ino, I know, I was there."

"Kousa," she says, finishing as if he never interrupted. "Not very original, but cute. You think that'll be what you name your firstborn?" 

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18913750    gonna give you all my love, boy by theformerone    2k, Sakura/Shikamaru, first time,

Shikamaru is a (maybe ace?) virgin. Sakura is not either of those things. It still all works out. Sexually, speaking.

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18756313    Consideration: Or, The Smart Kids Get (It) Together by cairn    12k, Sakura/Shikamaru, friends to lovers, 

Noun: Consideration 1. Careful thought, typically over a period of time. 2. A fact or a motive taken into account in deciding or judging something. 3. Law: (in a contractual agreement) anything given or promised or forborne by one party in exchange for the promise or undertaking of another.

"You want to give yourself cancer?" she had asked.

"Good afternoon, Sakura," he'd drawled back. "So nice to see you so unexpectedly."

.

-

.

Dorohedoro

.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767034    I Am Intrinsically No Good by Medegela    2k, Noi/Shin, accidental voyeurism, sexual tension, masturbation, 

They had recently renewed their partnership for the third time and things he faintly noticed and always dismissed before were amplified. He knew now that she also enjoyed watching him, he knew that the same kind of release ran through her when she saw him, and he was sure of that because of the contract.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12192696    Secondhand Smoke by dirtbag    -1k, Noi/Shin, unresolved romantic tension, magical shotgunning, 

They sure do this a lot, for something that's so endlessly frustrating.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/12387897    Love Is a Verb by dirtbag    4k, Noi/Shin, pegging, 

Shin can’t figure out why Noi is so insistent on being careful with him tonight when he’s pretty sure he’s come out of her bedroom mildly concussed before.

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[cannot-decide-on-a-fandom]

Please rant about your favorite characters from at least three fandoms. Tell me how wonderful your children are.

Okay, this is probably gonna be nonsensical, I'm just gonna ramble here. (Thanks for giving me the opportunity)

Alright, here we go

Haikyuu

Considering how much I've been talking about Haikyuu, there's no way I'm not taking this opportunity too. I've always said this series has some of the best character writing I've seen.

Suga

Normally I'd say if anyone disrespects my boy I'll fight them, but I've never seen anyone dislike Suga, because it's physically impossible. He's such an amazingly well rounded character. I mean, the fact that I think he's the most mischaracterised person in the anime compared to the manga and he is STILL amazing makes me so happy.

Yes, he's team mum, but one thing you can't rip out of my hands is that he's the mum who constantly plays stupid jokes on his adopted kids and messes with everyone. I'm pretty sure that's canon. He's the person who will see a couple of them hanging about outside the bathroom with water guns, waiting for somebody to come out to spray them, and he'd leave just to return with a bag of flour to throw over their heads too and make everything worse.

But let me tell you, despite that, this boy is practically still a child, barely 18, still a high schooler, and he is so damn supportive and kind and selfless. Not a single person on the team would be like they are without him.

He’s not a prodigy or anything of the sort, and as frustrated as he is by it, the last thing he'd ever want is to negatively impact the team even if it benefits him. But he still has so much pride and he teases everyone a lot, it’s so funny.

He is a big, eyeroll worthy dork half the time, but there’s not a single person who is better suited to be a team player, even if he’s off the court. I love him so much.

Yamaguchi

I’ve already went off on a rant about him, so I’ll keep this short.

This beautiful, gorgeous boy, the sweetest, purest thing in the entire universe, spent his childhood being bullied by others purely for things he couldn’t even really control, and he not even for a second shows resentment towards anyone he meets unless they earn it. He never makes any unfounded judgements about how people are even though him doing so and being nervous could easily be justified, but he is the most friendly person to everyone he meets. Until they need encouragement, which is when he’ll go off the rails for them.

He works so hard and so much and so desperately wants to play too, but the last thing he’d ever do is hurt anyone else’s chances. The line, and I’m gonna probably misquote, I’m sorry, “What besides pride do we need?” is still my favourite line of the series, and describes the entire situation so well. Even though he yelled it at Tsukki, it applies to him too. He’s scared, and worried, and feels guilty every time he messes up, but his desire to prove himself and be useful is so strong, it helps him grow and I am so equally proud of and inspired by him.

Also, freckles are adorable as hell, how can anyone hurt him because of that? Or any reason? I'll fight them.

Nishinoya

This is still the same fandom, right? Okay, let me be quick.

Noya is one of the most unpredictably written characters I know. He has all the traits of excitable comic relief, but he is so, so much more than that. He’s loud and hyper and kind of a dumbass who oggles at girls sometimes, but he’s also the best friend any person could wish for and he’s serious and encouraging, not for plot development but simply because that’s who he is. He is confident and self assured, but he’s also self critical, driven to improve, calming to everyone around him, supportive, selfless, and impulsive. He’s someone with who you can believe every word they say, because as nice as they are, they don’t lie. They’re open and blunt, and so willing to criticize everyone including themself without going too far because he doesn’t think any of that matters as long as people try and not give up. Yes, occasionally he may be a little bit on the frustrating side to the people around him, but he is the type of person you need in your life.

Someone who is instantly willing to yell at you, but also a shoulder to cry on, or a distraction, or simply somebody to have fun with. I love him dearly.

My Hero Academia

Let me do my 2 best boys

Kaminari

Kaminari is one of the most annoyingly misrepresented characters in this fandom. He’s always shown as the idiotic pervert, or at least one of those in any situation, but his actual character is so much more interesting, so why?

Yes, he’s an idiot sometimes. But it’s not because he has no intelligence or anything of the sort. Remember, he got into a prestigious high school with a really hard to pass written exam as well as practical one. As far as I can tell, he tries to act cool in typical ways, but he probably doesn’t think intelligence is any reason to look down on someone anyway, so it doesn’t matter to him. He’s shown he’s more then just the class clown, and as for the perverted side, he wants to see girls in cheerleading uniforms and swimsuits, sure, like a lot of people probably would, but while he may do stupid things sometimes in that regard too, the vast, vast majority of the time he is nothing but respectful and friendly. He’s friends with everyone in the class, including Bakugo and including the girls who he is supposedly always pervy towards. He is fun, non judgemental, and smarter than we give him credit for, and the fact that he has flaws make him more down to earth and understandable. He’s a flawed person, but dammit, he’s not a bad one.

Kirishima

Let’s just say, season 4 will be his season, but even before, he was amazing. I actually really thought I would hate him at first. See, I generally don’t like Bakugo's archetype, and even less so the best friend characters of people like him. I expect that it’s birds of a feather and all, but that only the main friend will get development and the other will mostly remain a jerk. So, when I kept seeing him shipped with Bakugo, I was concerned before getting to meet him properly. But my god, did he subvert all of my expectations.

One thing I hate so much is how people act like he finds Bakugo’s anger and rudeness endearing, or like he ignores it, but that is completely the opposite of him. He finds it frustrating, and it angers him and irritates him. The difference between him and others who are scared of him is that he doesn’t purely judge him based on that. He calls him out on his crap, but he also pays attention to him and treats him how he wants to be treated.

Outside of Bakugo, he is a complete angel. He is helpful and despite shining so bright is always immediately ready to get hurt for anyone, even if he doesn’t care about them. He’s great and vulnerable and so well written, I can’t wait to see season 4.

Marvel (specifically the MCU)

Let’s throw some live action in here.

Peter Parker/Spiderman

Okay, Spiderman as a character, specifically Peter Parker, will always be special to me. The original trilogy was the first time I watched Superhero movies and I fell in love with them.

But, and I say this knowing how amazing all previous castings were, Tom Holland’s iteration is easily my favourite. Not just because of his performance, but also with how he was written.

For the first time, we got a solo movie franchise not revolving around his uncle's death, and I am so glad. We got to see his character grow, effected purely by things other than that. It’s probably the closest to the comic books iteration we got (I haven’t read all of them, but enough) in terms of the character himself. He’s a kid. Cheeky and witty and smarter than just being able to build a suit (seriously, I so often hear people say “the MCU Spidey is terrible. He’s not as smart. He doesn’t build his own suit” like...have you even seen the films? He is smarter in so many different ways than just sawing together heavy duty Spandex.) But he’s hurt and broken in a lot of ways. He’s not in any way 2 dimensional and I really want to see more of him.

Wow that was long. Sorry.

[engekihaikyuu]

Sharing Stage/2.5D Content

So there are some things I want to go over about sharing, reposting, and general distribution of content.  And while I’m going to talk specifically about Engeki Haikyuu, some of the more general stuff can be applied to most Japanese stage plays, musicals, and general theater.  

I wanted to make this post because I’m seeing a lot of frustration in fandom from both content providers and fans and followers butting heads on this issue.  First off, we have to acknowledge that there is an undeniable precedent that’s existed in fandom that makes fans feel entitled to all the content all the time, for free.  And there is knowledge of the industry that content providers have that I think we’re not communicating frequently enough to help fans understand our positions on these issues.

It’s lengthy, but please take some time to look under the Read More and read about this issue.  

There’s a reason why I chose Tumblr as the medium for distribution of Engeki Haikyuu information, translations, scans, gifs, etc… and it’s because there is little-to-no Japanese fandom on this website. Most Japanese fandom is on Twitter and on other Japanese sites like Pixiv and NicoNico, but for the most part, Tumblr is not on their radar.  It’s quickly getting to be on the radar for Pixiv artists because of the rampant problem of art-reposting, but by and large, they’re still not ON this website, browsing and using this website, and engaging with fandom on this website.  Which is to my benefit because most Japanese fandom would HATE what I am doing.  

I want to explain that Western fandom and Japanese fandom operate VERY differently when it comes to the topic of spreading information and official content.  For example, there are Japanese artists I follow on Twitter who are now drawing fanart about the stuff they saw in Winners and Losers.  Fun stuff about cross-dressing Takato and Shouri, the little gags and ad-lib that changed from night to night, Kageyama in the fish suit… but the thing is, they all waited until AFTER the show was finished touring completely.  Out of respect and consideration for the people who could go see the show but hadn’t yet, they all waited until there were no more chances to see it live to post what could be considered ‘spoilers’ for the show.  

By contrast in Western fandom, a movie is out in theaters for about 5 hours before I see gif-sets on Tumblr.  It’s incredible.  It is genuinely difficult to not be spoiled for content when in western fandom because everyone wants to talk about it right away, they want to share information right away, they can’t, they won’t wait until a movie is no longer playing in theaters, etc… the information is out almost instantaneously.  

But in Japanese fandom, you have seiyuu events that have afternoon and evening portions, and they almost always release exciting new information or announcements at these events.  But the people who go to the afternoon portion of a seiyuu event, say NOTHING until the evening portion of the seiyuu event is over and everyone who could’ve had a chance to go see it has seen it.  Their fandom etiquette is INTENSE about no spoilers and respecting the creator’s wishes.  When seiyuu events give them exciting new info and then say, shh, now don’t share it on social media yet, Japanese fans LISTEN.  Japanese fandom draws a HARD line with this stuff.  For them, if you can’t buy it, if you can’t afford to go see it, then too bad, that’s the end of it.  

So sharing stuff like scans and torrents and youtube streams is a serious infringement to them both culturally and legally.  Rightfully so, and I think it’s an admirable thing that they can operate that way. But the other side of that coin is that it does make all the content less accessible and hard to promote widespread interest for.  In western fandom, we have seen piracy benefit Hollywood in many ways so I know a lot of us don’t bat an eye or think twice about pirating movies and music anymore.

But with Engeki Haikyuu?  With 2.5D plays and musicals overall?  We’re not talking about multi-million dollar shows and productions with huge profit margins that are too big to fail.  It’s not Hollywood; it’s not even Broadway.  We’re talking about an industry where the minor actors are sometimes not paid for the rehearsal period of a show, and where they’re sometimes paid about $100 for each show they perform.  Some of my posts mentioned that Winners and Losers performed a total of 36 shows, and that was over a span of almost 2 months not counting rehearsals.  Imagine getting paid around $3600 for your time for those 3 months.  I’m not saying that there are Engeki Haikyuu actors that were paid that little, but that IS the industry in which they live and work.  We’re talking about an industry where the sales of your character bromides indicate your overall popularity as an actor and also serve as an indicator for your potential success in other shows producers might want to cast you in.  Financially, it’s a small industry, however big it seems.  

However, it’s obviously very difficult for international fans to support it in legal ways.  Goods for the show including pamphlets and bromides, tote bags, are ONLY sold at the theaters where they perform, and they are not available afterward. Japan is all about exclusive content, limited goods, it makes the few that are out there special.  But that means if you can’t go to the venue to see the show, you can’t buy your favorite actor’s bromides to support them.  And if you buy it afterwards at a secondhand shop like K books or some Yahoo Auctions seller, the money’s not going to the production anymore, it goes to secondhand sellers.  Your voice of support is lost with secondhand sales, but sometimes they’re the only way you can get this stuff, so I’m not discouraging people who are trying to buy this stuff secondhand.  I just want people to understand the full situation there if you do.  

Anyway, this is why I do the, let’s be real, illegal thing of scanning bromides and pamphlets to share with you guys.  Because if you can’t fly to Japan and get a hold of these elusive tickets to see the show live and THEN still have money left over to buy the goods, it’s tough/impossible to get it.  So, I see it as a moot point when it comes to scans, because those image sets get spread around, and they do promote new interest in the production.  And since nobody can even buy the bromides from Engeki HQ directly after the show is finished touring... eh.  It’s still illegal, but for me it’s a slight gray area because of the lack of accessibility.  

But the DVDs, and therefore the show itself, is different.  It’s made WIDELY available on multiple ordering platforms online and in physical stores (in Japan), websites that DO ship overseas and where pre-orders don’t sell out.  You can still buy DVDs of the very first Engeki Haikyuu that toured in fall 2015.  And so long as you’re buying from official retailers like Amazon Japan, CDJapan, amiami, now Animate International, your money, your support goes directly to the production and they get the means to make more of these shows.  I provide links for people to buy their own DVD copies all the time; they’re in my FAQ, I have posts that I regularly try to reblog.

I make gifs and I provide scans and clips as teasers so that I can promote as much interest as possible so that you guys, if you can, will support the show financially.  But these shows aren’t cheap, and Americans aren’t used to paying $80 for a DVD, and I get that.  I do.  So if you can’t afford to buy the show legally, that’s unfortunate.  I’m sorry.  I wish I could buy DVDs for all of you that want the show.  But still, I will not put up a download, I won’t upload a stream, because I know it will discourage some of the people that can buy it from buying it because they expect it to be free.  There are people I know that do this, and it’s infuriating.

So, ok.  Distribution of the full show explained.  Bottom line is, I’ll share a lot with you guys, but I won’t share the full videos of the shows because you can still buy the DVDs.  

As for the topic of reposting, I’ve mentioned the difference between Japanese and Western fandom earlier, and again: That’s why all the scans go on Tumblr.  Now, I know I can’t stop the INTERNET from reposting. That’s why all the uploads are lower resolution and watermarked to hell so that it’s barely worth taking.  Take note re-posters, you’re not even taking the good stuff.  But reposting the scans to Twitter, could actually get me in trouble.  Because as I mentioned, Japanese fandom is pretty prevalent on Twitter, they frown upon this sort of behavior, and they DO report people for this stuff.  It’s great for spread of awareness of this production, but I sometimes worry about getting close to an official cease and desist.    

And maybe that’s because I personally work very closely with this industry with my work for Sakura Con, and so I’m maybe being a little paranoid.  But I also totally understand the viewpoints of Japanese fandom, which is why I don’t cross post everything to Twitter, and I sure as hell don’t tag it to make it easy to search for. 

Basically, all of this boils down to: 

Please don’t repost the scans and gifs on Twitter or Facebook (and don’t tag them so obviously).

Please stop asking me to upload the shows for download or streaming. 

Please understand that everyone that’s working hard on these productions for us to enjoy… the actors, the producers, the director, the musicians, the theater staff and crew… they’re working in a niche market, and they’re not making millions here.  Not only that, you’d be shocked how little some of them make sometimes.  

So support the shows however best you can, encourage your friends to do the same if they can, and don’t… harass people for free stuff.

That’s all.  Thank you for watching and for supporting Engeki Haikyuu (the show, not me), and if any of you have any questions about anything I’ve just talked about, if you want more details about one part or another, send me a message! Have a great day~ Haikyuu’s the best!

[cho-sekiei]

The Mom-friend trope in fan fiction and why it is problematic (an essay by me)

@eloarei asked:

So I saw that post about Ignis and the mom-friend trope, and I feel like I get the gist of what you're saying, but I guess I wanted to ask if that means you actively dislike it when people refer to him as the mom-friend? Or perhaps you just dislike that trope? Or maybe you just don't like tropes at all? Personally, I love tropes (esp. mom/dad-friend) probably more than is reasonable, as long people don't reduce good characters to JUST those tropes. (Same as any label; we are more than a word.)

Okay… let me try to organise a bit what I have to say because there are several things here. Also I’m going to take FFXV and Ignis as an example here, but this can be applied to lots of different fandoms where a caring male character exists (for example, Hakkai in Saiyuki would be the same, Shiro in Voltron, Sugawara in Haikyuu, take your pick).

The first problem is language related, the name of the trope itself. Not because of the words themselves but because of what they reflect. Do I have a problem with Ignis being referred to as the ‘mom-friend’? Yes, I do. I’m going to explain why, but, in short, this trope glorifies the existence of damaging gender-roles and I think it’s important to be aware of it and recognise it. I should point out here that while I have a problem with the existence of the trope, this is not an attack on all the stories that use it. They are too varied and numerous for me to talk about them as a whole. So not all of what I say here applies to all stories using the trope.

I know it’s an accepted fandom trope and people don’t mean anything bad by it, but it’s interesting to analyse why we say the things we say and to question whether we should at all. Words have power. They are the reflections of our beliefs and attitudes, they have implications and hidden meanings. But they're not innocuous, they can perpetuate hurtful stereotypes and systems of oppression which is why it's important to recognise the implications behind the words we speak and write. The fact that as soon as a male character is empathic and caring he becomes automatically referred to as having feminine traits or attributes (the mom) is a reflection of the rampant and toxic masculinity that exists in modern patriarchal society. Suddenly, he doesn’t fit with the typical image of a male anymore, he has to be the kind-of-feminine-friend. It’s the same kind of attitude that prevents men from recognising and expressing their emotions, the eternal ‘boys don’t cry’ thing, which is unhealthy and damaging. It’s one of the reasons men are so much more likely to be successful when they attempt suicide, because they are raised in a way that forbids them from expressing / dealing with their feelings without feeling weak and questioning their own worth. It also leads to violence against others as an alternative reaction / outlet as well. And it feeds homophobia.

The second problem is that in a lot of cases - not all - identifying the character with that trope will automatically give them attitudes they might not have at all in canon. The mom-friend often becomes nagging and annoying, the dad-friend is cool and fun. Again, what is reflected here is internalised misogyny (even from female writers… and I’m not saying this as a criticism. I still catch myself every day doing or thinking things that are stupidly misogynistic, because our society raises us to believe a lot of stupid things about women’s character or abilities. It takes a lot of self-awareness and introspection over a long period of time to recognise them). As you say, using a trope doesn’t mean you are going to fall into all the pitfalls that come with it but it’s a dangerous slope since some negative attitudes might be so engrained within the trope that they might seem natural and get integrated in your writing without you even realising it. It’s why we refer to ‘internalised misogyny,’ because it’s all but obvious or conscious.

As a brief tangent (I’m not going to go into it too much because I’ve promised @terra-bunny to write a whole post on the topic of toxic relationships in fandom), using the mom/dad trope automatically creates a situation of power imbalance between the characters with some being in charge and some being infantilised with part of their agency and autonomy being taken from them (again that’s coming from the kind of vocabulary that is being used). Of course, the extent of it will vary with the individual story, some will be a lot more extreme than others in their portrayal of the trope. However, in many cases, it doesn’t stop the two types of characters from being shipped together and it’s often presented as a cute and healthy relationship. I’m afraid it’s not. This is not a case where power exchange has been negotiated and ways out agreed upon as in a healthy D/s relationship. It’s not a relationship where the characters are on equal footing. It’s manipulative and a dangerous glorification of abuse, grooming and pedophilia. What matters here is the power balance between the characters rather than their age. If this sounds harsh, I mean for it to be. Our modern societies are way too comfortable with the romanticisation of abuse and exploitation of vulnerable individuals. Creative content does not get a pass on those issues because it's dealing with fictional characters.

Does that mean you can’t write about it? Of course, not. Writing is awesome because you can write whatever you want if it fits your story. What you shouldn’t do is pretend it’s a healthy model to follow. If you write about those topics, then you should be aware and explore the problems that they raise and how those can be resolved (i.e. by restoring / creating a healthy balance of power) or not; and if they cannot be resolved then you should definitely question whether that relationship should continue. Not doing so is passively condoning it as okay. As Desmond Tutu would say 'if you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor.' Now I should point out here that the smart way of addressing problematic situations is through a clever plot rather than a moralising author's rant.

You can see the tendency of glorifying that kind of unbalanced relationships in fan art as well, with the physical size difference between the characters being over-emphasised, the less powerful character being more slender and given a more youthful face than canon, etc. I have been made very uncomfortable recently by some of the Gladio x Prompto fan art on my dashboard. Without knowing the characters and their age, it looked like pedophilia. It felt very wrong and it is a problem. I don’t think we can pretend it’s not just because it’s part of the fandom. Fandom can be problematic and we should speak up about it.

Now, obviously, I know some people are going to wonder why I get so worked-up about those things. After all, we’re talking fan works, as part of a fictional universe. It’s entertainment, it’s fun, why would I drag all those issues into it? And my answer is because the stories we tell matter. They reflect what we believe in and they might also send some messages to our readers - some of whom might be in vulnerable situations - that might either reinforce their acceptance of or lead them to question problematic attitudes. Being aware ourselves when we write of why we would portray a character or a situation a certain way is the first step towards questioning whether we should. One story won’t change the world, but words have power. The other reason is that you can learn a lot about yourself by looking at what you write and how you write it. Who doesn’t want a good journey of self-discovery? :) And this might end up changing how we act and the problems we recognise in real life as well.

Parenthesis about tropes in general: Not all are problematic. And they’re often part of the fandom life (coffee shop or flower shop AUs for example). We’ve all read them, we all love them. Tropes that give characters stereotypical behaviour (mom-friend), I have more problem with because they tend to lead to paper-fine, somewhat OOC, portrayals of complex characters. But obviously, that depends on the individual writer.

I guess my view on non-damaging tropes depends mostly of what a writer is trying to do. If it’s filling a fandom need, have fun with a stereotypical story, then most of the time they’re fine. Fandoms are interesting because no-one would read twenty novels about people working in a coffee shop… but then we’ve all probably read that many fanfics about it - if not more. I also think tropes are useful to help inexperienced / beginner writers get started. From that point of view, they can be very beneficial.

Now, if you’re trying to write a more nuanced and original story, tropes can actually be dangerous. They will simplify the characters and the plot, they might make them caricatural, less alive and credible. They might rob you of your own creativity. You can use tropes as a tool to get started, but for a more ambitious piece of work, it’s good to stop and think about how you can subvert or move beyond the scope of the tropes, and whether problematic situations in the story should be addressed at some point (as previously mentioned, I’m not talking of doing this in a moralistic way, more in the plot itself).

@eloarei asked:

Anyway, sorry for rambling in your inbox so incoherently. It's hard to explain my feelings about this in so few words. But to get to the honest point of the matter: I'm actually writing a fic that sorta revolves around Ignis as the "mom" type (not /exactly/, but you know, that's why I use quotes), and I'd hate to think that someone I admire (you) would find it distasteful. So if it's something you have strong feelings about, I'm happy to take advice on how not to be tropey about it, at least.

First, let me blush like mad. 😳 ‘Admire me?’ 😳 Why would you do that? 😳 I’m honestly a badly put together mess. Nothing to admire here. 😝 It’s hard for me to tell you if I’d find it problematic without reading it. I just want to emphasise here that I have no problem with Ignis being a caring (sometimes a bit overbearing) character. That’s canon, that’s who he is. The problem is not that Ignis is caring, it’s how it is often portrayed. I often write Ignis telling others what to do because he’s a bossy jerk who thinks he knows better (and he often does) and he cares deeply about his friends and tries to stop them from getting into trouble. I guess the question to ask is whether the way you write him falls into any of the pitfalls I’ve described above (does he get feminised or appear weak for being caring? does he come across as more nagging and annoying than in canon? does he respect other characters’ agency and autonomy or not? and if not, is it acknowledged as problematic at some point in the story? etc.). You could even push this further and subvert the mom-friend trope by engaging with the character’s experience of his own identity and how a toxic vision of masculinity might hurt him and make him feel vulnerable even as he tries to come to grips with his caring nature. But obviously, that’s a much more engaged and deeper kind of story.

I hope this makes what I meant a bit clearer. I probably think about that kind of thing too much, but I can’t rightly ignore it either. Also stop saying ‘sorry’, you have no idea how much I love talking about all that stuff. ^ ^’’’ If you want me to expand on anything, let me know. ;)

[unwillingkomaedakin]

Entry 4 - July 2nd 2020

i haven’t written in here in quite a bit. nothing much has been happening. i finished watching kaguya-sama and now i’m watching haikyuu. it’s midnight as i’m writing this, it just became the 2nd. i just want to write about something that happened just now. it’s really embarrassing. but this is a diary or something, it’s anonymous. so i’ll write about it. 

i found the type of porn and sex positions i’m into, cowgirl and missionary. so of course i was getting off and shit. i don’t have a piss fetish or anything of the sort, i’ll say that now. i learned to get off with my left hand, but my right hand is my dominant hand, so i don’t have a lot of stamina when i get myself off. i’ve never actually came before, but i think i’ve come close. i always lose all my strength and stamina right before i peak. to help with this a bit and to distract myself from being worn out and trying to reach a high, i usually get off when i have a near-full bladder. it puts me on edge, and it distracts me somewhat from feeling tired. there’s this video called unsettling Komaeda noises or something that i usually listen to on loop when i’m getting off as a stimulant of sorts. 

i also just wanna write about why i’m such a nymphomaniac. i’ve never had a real friend before. i’m the very definition of lonely and sad. love and acceptance is the thing i crave all day every day. i’m not sure if this sounds a bit weird or is taboo or whatever, but i’m more into sex for the intimacy. or something. i’m bad at wording things. i love it for the feelings, not the pleasure. to have proper sex with someone, you feel extremely comfortable around them and love them a lot. and they feel the same way about you. and you two trust each other completely and want to do it to make the other happy from the pleasure. the feelings and intentions is what i’m invested in. wholesome sex. that sorta summarizes it. i’m not exactly into a lot of kinks or whatever. i do have a praise kink. but that’s it. i love it because of the feelings involved in having passionate sex. i want to have someone i really love and trust, and they feel the same way about me. i’d love that more than anything in the world. 

as stupid as this sounds, Komaeda is probably the closest thing i have to a friend. i love Him and His character. i love everything about Him. i relate to almost every aspect of Him. low self-esteem, sickly, an outcast, “strange” ideals, somewhat breathy voices, yearn for nothing more than someone who cares. i fucking love Him. He’s my comfort character. as my name implies, i’m a Komaeda kin. haha. it does sorta suck, but it makes me happy that i’m so similar to someone i love and adore. Komaeda and i naturally get along on island mode in danganronpa 2, and i think we’d be best friends if we ever met. i love Komaeda. when getting off, most people probably imagine the person they love or admire doing things to them, but since i have no one, Komaeda fills that void for me. i have such a strong connection to Him, He not only brings me extreme comfort, but He’s the person i’d trust with having sex with more than anyone i know. i hate everyone i know. they’re all horrible people. i’m a little obsessed with Komaeda i suppose. He’s my profile picture on discord, and has been for months. He brings me so much comfort that not having Him as my profile picture can cause me to feel physically ill or even have a breakdown from discomfort, distress and panic. it brings me comfort knowing that my profile picture will always stay the same, and won’t suddenly change on me. anyway, i think that’s enough rambling about Komaeda for now. 

so today i was just getting off and whatever but i didn’t realize just how full my bladder was, and in the middle of getting off, i pissed a tiny bit, like a drop. if there’s anyone else reading this, i just wanna say, i was equally as grossed out as you would be. i don’t have a piss fetish. so i was like “oh shit” and went to the toilet and pissed like a third of it out so i still had enough to help me get off easier. so when that’s over and i return to my room, i finish the deed. that ends after like 30 minutes. somehow my bladder has completely filled up again. usually after i get off at night i take a shower, and since i needed to piss really soon, i decided to hurry into the shower. i get my pajamas ready and run to the shower. in the shower, there’s this small pole connecting the shower head to the wall. we have this plastic shelf that usually hangs on the pole that has the soap, shampoo etc. on it. for some reason, this shelf had been taken out of the shower and was sitting on the other side of the room leaning up against the wall. this was literally the first time it had been taken down since i’ve lived in my house, and we’ve lived here for like 4 years or something. just my luck. half of the stuff on the shelf had been moved around so i took a little to find my stuff. 

while looking for the soap and trying to hold in my piss. it started coming out, completely against my will. i panicked so much. luckily it was midnight so almost everyone was asleep and didn’t hear me panic. i start taking off my pants and socks in a hurry to get into the shower as soon as possible to avoid actually pissing myself. however, my pants just so happened to get stuck on my socks, and before i knew it, i pissed myself. my underwear were drenched in piss. you could even see it. of course i wrapped my other clothes around the underwear so you wouldn’t see it. i’m really scared as to if you can see if someone pissed themselves from looking at their underwear like a day later. i really hope not. then my mom would know that me, a high schooler, pissed herself. i haven’t pissed myself since i was like 4 or something. anyway, i got off topic. after a few seconds, i finally got my pants and socks off. i quickly hopped in the shower and (for lack of a better term) let it all out. that event was fucking absurd. i never imagined that i’d piss myself, let alone as a teenager. i’m torn between finding it shameful or hilarious. 

in a few days, july 4th, my family is going on a trip to the capital of my state. for literally no reason at all. yet my bitch of a mother always complains that we have money problems, yet she wastes money on an expensive trip no one asked for. my god, she’s a fucking hypocrite. i really fucking hate her. anyway, i’ll be away for like 5 days or something, so i’m not sure if i’ll be able to write on here during that. i really want to though. i haven’t gone on a trip in years, and it’ll be eventful so i want to write about it. i have this diary app on my phone that i haven’t touched in god knows how long. i might write the entries in there and post them on here when i get back home. i don’t know. i’ll probably figure something out. 

my Komaeda jacket still hasn’t arrived yet, i really hope it gets here soon. travelling gives me a lot of anxiety, so having the jacket would definitely calm me down a lot. i’m doubting it’ll get here in time, it’d be a miracle if it did, so i guess i’ll just wish. i ordered another Komaeda figure, that’s my third one. i’m still looking for the Komaeda chara-forme figure, though it’s really rare and overpriced. i honestly doubt i’ll find it anywhere for a good price, let alone at all. i can hope though. hope. i can hope. i have hope that things will turn around. i can’t stay sad forever. things have to turn around eventually. right?