#also happy birthday to the huge depression i went through around this time last year when i disappeared from the art community | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katsukikitten · 3 years

Text

Hello friends! Here is my contribution to the Bakugou Birthday Bash! The master link will be linked here ! Please enjoy my bit of an angsty fic! And all of the other art and works that are on the master list! Enjoy the big bakugou blow out and remember to leave a comment on your favorite pieces! Happy birthday ya shitty man! (Lowkey become 3d please)

Warning: he's 28 btw 😂 (my fic says so also)

It shouldn't be this fucking hard to get groceries and booze. It's a quick and easy errand. Everything already pre-ordered for an important birthday that just needed to be picked up. And yet here you were crying in your car trying to get it together before the attendant asked for the order name. Honestly you had texted out "I can't do this today. Sorry." Several times before deleting it, telling yourself not to hit send. But you would have to be having the worst mental day of your life wouldn't you? Today of all days, how fucking selfish of you.

Especially with the amount of time and effort you and Kirishima had put into this idea. Since New Year's actually, months and months of planning after the two of you had gotten shit faced at Denki and Mina's new years party, creating the brain child. All after bonding over switching patrol partners six months before, you had gotten Bakugou and he had gotten Ashido. Kirishima and yourself giggle over stupid things to the side of the party, people watching as you took shots. Kirishima points towards a normally grumpy blonde.

"Wow I think he's actually having fun." You snort, as you watch Bakugou hide his rare cat smile behind a sip of his beer as Mina makes Denki the butt of a joke.

"He actually loves parties. He never says it so people just think he's a wet blanket." Kirishima laughs, pouring the two of you another shot. Bakugou lets out a particularly loud laugh after 'Dunce Face' proves Mina's point. I guess that would be the time that it started.

When you started to fall. His laugh makes your cheeks deepen in hue and burn, to want to hear it again, to watch it again and learn all of the other sides of your patrol partner that he obviously only reserved for his closest friends.

"Let's throw him a great birthday party." You say, holding up your shot as a devilish smile spreads over sharp teeth. The mountainous man clinks your shot glass before he adds.

"Let's." In unison the two of you down the burning liquid as the plan comes into fruition.

Four months, four months and nineteen days of you thinking of nothing but your patrol partner with whom you got extremely close with since New Year's. So why? Why today of all days were you struggling? Why would normal everyday tasks feel more as if you were wading through mud than the breeze they should have been? You flip down the visor, looking yourself in the eye through little square mirror as you grit your teeth hissing

"Get your shit together."

Your little pep talk helps you get the several cakes and the cart full of booze that everyone requested, planning to make this the best birthday ever. Helping Kirishima set his house up with decorations, setting out the snacks, catering and even pouring some drinks as guests began to arrive to set down their gifts and help with the last minute touches before hiding. Masking through the pit in your stomach as you smiled at all of your friends as they poured in through Kirishima's door. Through the weighted emptiness you felt as each one wrapped you into a tight hug, already praising you and Kirishima for the amazing effort, that Bakugou would be so surprised when it was more than just you and Kirishima here. . Finally you had to go and get the guest of honor just before sundown to catch him before he went to bed. A much needed breather from the constant smiling and forcing a laugh that everyone thought sounded genuine.

Enjoying the silence of the evening train as it pulled you across town to the unsuspecting blonde. And maybe you could have made it through the night from your shitty pep talk or at least through getting the freshly 28 year old to his party but instead you catch your reflection in the window. Your facial features weighted with exhaustion, shoulders hunched allowing your body to continue to produce cortisol. Tears prick your eyes as you deep low, too low. Remembering everything and nothing all at once, steeping in guilt as you beg yourself for just a few more hours. That the depression episode can happen when you're home and alone, after the party goes off without a hitch. Tears fall anyway and they do all the way to Bakugou's until you finally get enough control to step out of yourself for a moment. Ringing the doorbell several times as a smile is plastered on your face, the door swings open. Bakugou's eyes narrow as they take you in, he notices that something is off. Your smile is a little too wide, your eyes rimmed red but he says nothing about it. Instead he lets his initial anger come forth.

"Oi! I told you to fuckin' text me when you were on the train so I could meet you at the station!" He growls, slamming his door shut and pocketing his keys. Deadly and sweaty hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket as his palms itch to hold onto something else. Garnet eyes track your own hands as you reach over your head stretching.

"Yea yea, I hear you Dad." You tease giving him a look, "I still made it okay."

"Kirishima should have come instead of you that fuckin hair for brains." He snarls keeping pace with you as he always does on patrol.

"I know Dad must be sad cause his favorite didn't come to pick him up." You try not to sound dejected, nudging him in the ribs to distract from the crack in your voice, "Happy birthday ya big lug."

Bakugou cuts you a glare, mind racing before his barks out a "Thanks."

Comfortable silence stretches between the two of you before you two hit the train station, passing a corner store.

"Was shitty hair burning dinner? Do I need to stop for back up?" His thumb hooks over his shoulder towards the neon as he stands idle waiting for you to jog your memory. Kirishima had burned the last friend's dinner making Bakugou so angry he walked six blocks to make something that was 'FUCKIN EDIBLE!' while you tried to air out his apartment. You laugh loudly, genuinely for the first time that day causing Bakugou's shoulders to sag with relief. In the ten months he had been working with you he had only seen you faking a smile or laugh once or twice. Then the time after that you were absent from work the next day or two forcing him to patrol with Denki but worse yet...making him worry.

"Guess I'll grab something just in case." He gave you his back so you wouldn't see his face or the faint blush that dusted his cheeks.

"No, no! I ordered out this time. From that famous chef you like." Bakugou glares your way, digging in his back pocket for his wallet.

"How much." He demands through gritted teeth while you show him the palms of your hands in surrender.

"Woah woah! It's your birthday gift! You can't pay me back for dinner! I'd sooner burn the money before I'd accept it from you!" Your watch dings with a message from Kirishima asking for an ETA. You grab onto Bakugou's hand pulling him along into a run as you shout over your shoulder.

"We're gonna be late!"

Oh how Bakugou wished you hadn't done that, he was already struggling to keep his heart beat even when you were around and now to grab onto him. To pull him along in a hurry like those cheesy insta posts that couples did on their "grand adventure" together. He swallows the lump in his throat as he reminds himself that you are nothing more than his patrol partner. His friend at best.

Even though the train was mostly empty Bakugou stood closely by you, as he always did when the two of you were in a crowded space. He had seen how most men took advantage of the situation and he hated the idea of that happening to you although he knew you were more than capable of handling it on your own. Hell you could kick even his ass but he would die before ever admitting that. Instead he watches you talk about what you ordered for dinner and how you got the cake from that bakery Sato works part time at, the same one he got your birthday cake from but he doesn't hear a word. Instead all he can see is the golden light from the setting sun worshiping you. Kissing your skin to make it glow, giving your eyes a hue that makes his heart fall into his stomach and illuminating you in a true light. A radiant ethereal thing is what you were and Bakugou was just lucky enough to be standing by you. So out of it he doesn't realize the two of you are at your stop.

"Uh Suki?" Your voice is soft paired with the setting sun has him acting weird. He leans closer to you, pulled by some invisible force before he stops himself as he watches you look up at him beneath long lashes.

"You okay?" You ask almost nervously from his proximity, the smell of spice and caramel wrap around you making you feel warm and fuzzy. Temporarily making you forget that you were trying to act on the train, making you relax as you just talked to Bakugou. He sucks his teeth as he picks up your bag to sling over his shoulder.

"Yea but you were gonna forget your whole damn purse like you always do." He huffs, this time he was the one pulling at your hand in a rush before the doors closed to trap you two on the train. His hand feels warm in yours, his grip tight as he drags you along before pulling you within his sight, another habit of his you happened to notice. Almost reluctantly he lets go of you hand as Kirishima's house comes into view.

"We better have a good time tonight patrol Princess or you owe me a special birthday gift." He laughs causing you to roll your eyes at his stupid nickname that stuck after your first day with him, adamant that the two of you take your route instead of his it was a huge argument. But it was a good thing he listened to the "princess", it put the two of you smack dab in the middle of a robbery. You stick out your tongue.

"Trust me. You're gonna have a good time!" You push him up the steps as he bats away your hands. Opening the front door before everyone jumps out of various and bad hiding spots.

"SURPRISE!!" All of the alumni of class A and some of B shout, a select few already slurring their words. Bakugou's scowl turns into a smirk before he looks over his shoulder at you.

"Aw you did this to me?" His voice is teasing but his eyes almost sparkle, you nod encouraging him to go deeper into the party. As he does people flock to him laughing and yelling out happy birthday until he's sick of hearing it. All the while your smile wanes with the night. Until an hour in that heavy episode hits you full force. Numbness setting in where happiness should be, rotting as it turns to shame and guilt as you watch your friend, your crush, enjoy his night. Bringing a glass bottle to his lips as he talks with Kirishima, who then presses a shot into his hands. Bodies dancing to the house music that beat out of the speakers competing with chatter and laughter.

It felt weird to watch everyone truly enjoying themselves while you felt low. It felt more as if you were standing outside of the house, looking in through the window to see everyone enjoying themselves, no one even knowing who you were as you stared in.

You felt distant, alone. What a shitty way to feel in a room full of people, none of it being their fault and so the guilt pressed harder. Eyes watering as they lingered on the blonde who deserved this celebration and more. Making you decide to give the best birthday gift of them all.

To slip away upstairs and onto the roof, to give the room space to breathe when you felt like suffocating.

Crying to no one but the moon.

And no one noticed. Two hours slip by before Kirishima insists that Bakugou make a wish and eat cake before everyone gets too drunk too. The entire house drunkenly sings happy birthday but Bakugou notices a voice missing. Yours that's just a touch off key, not to mention he didn't hear you say the stupid nickname 'Suki' where his name should be in the song. Plus you weren't one to miss out on dessert. For as long as Bakugou has been working with you, you never turned down the opportunity for sweets. Whether that was taking the long way back to the agency to try to catch a certain street vendor or to hover by the deserts at a party to pick the very best treat.

And if it was a birthday party, you never could shut up that y'all could not leave until after they blew out the candles and made a wish.

His eyes linger for a second longer, making sure he didn't miss you before his heart sinks. He takes in a sharp inhale, thinks on his wish and blows out the candles.

Meanwhile you hear the cheers of everyone down stairs and sob into your knees. You missed your favorite part of birthdays. Of hoping they make a wish that comes true, of watching their face as they think of something quickly or how some people tear up when they finally realize just how loved they are on their birthday.

It isn't long after that do you hear the sound of combat boots on shingles. Whipping your head up in the direction of the sound. Stomach clenching with guilt as you watch Bakugou walking towards you with a slice of cake.

"Brought ya some cake, since I didn't hear you sing off key to me." He says sinking down beside you as you furiously wipe at your tears.

"I'm-um."

"You don't gotta explain yourself to me." He snarls as you stare dumbly at your cake, "You know that."

"I know…" Silence passes slowly, the moon shines overhead and the party carries on below.

"Well, I'm waiting!" Bakugou says dramatically, "You gonna sing or am I gonna have to sing to myself?"

"Oh." It makes you giggle a bit before you blush, realizing he is serious. You take a deep breath before singing "just off key" when you don't, to him.

"Sukiiiiii!" Relief washes over his features when he hears the dumb ass name, "Happy birthday to youuuuuu!"

"Okay, now you can eat the damn cake." He grunts, his smile never wavering as he looks to the empty street below. You follow his eyes, chewing the inside of your lip, setting the cake down.

"What'd you wish for…" Curiosity gets the better of you and earns his intense gaze. He smirks, scoffing at the end.

"You always say you shouldn't tell or it won't come true." He laughs at your pout, before he finally admits "I wished for courage."

With a furrowed brow you give him a puzzled look, he just holds your gaze.

"Why? You're like the bravest hero I know!" Bakugou can hear the truth in your voice, you aren't saying it just to fucking stroke his ego.

You actually meant it, making this conversation that much harder.

"Yea except when it comes to this one thing I want to do. Its fuckin easy and I've done it hundreds of times just as I'm about to do it I fucking back down cause I'm probably fuckin reading into things too much." He leans in closer, again his smell mesmerizes you, causing your body to visibly relax, "Too much of a fuckin bitch, thinking she doesn't want me like I want her. So I wished for the courage to follow through. To fuckin' just do it."

Your heart is racing out of your chest before one of his hands finds the nape of your neck pulling you into a feverish kiss. Teeth gnashing from the passion, lips perfectly modeling to the other before tongues lightly dance around one another. Lengthening seconds into hours with just a few head tilts and plush lips. You moan into his mouth, he pulls away, eyes clouded with lust as a string of spit connects your tongues. He pants, face flushed and his hand warm, almost burning at the nape of your neck, the shingle by his hand charred from restraint as he pants out.

"I wished for you."

#bakugou x reader #bakugou birthday bash #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #bnha au #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bnha imagine #bakugou birthday

619 notes · View notes

bludemons · 3 years

Text

We're not gonna leave you (Ralvez x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Spencer and Luke are about to miss another birthday of yours because they're called on a case. But what happens when they come home in time?

Warnings: talk about unsub, swear words, depressing thoughts, crying, angst, anxiety, fluff towards the end, Luke and Spencer being idiots

Words: 2.3k

Tagged: @subbyspence @yours-truly-r @mgg-theprettiestboy

(gif credit to @zhuzhubii)

It's your birthday and of course you're alone, again, cause the boys were called away on a case 2 days prior and your mood wasn't the best to say the least... It was the 4th birthday you wanted to celebrate while being in the relationship with the boys but also the third one you were alone cause they were called away to catch some crazy killer. You already had a feeling that you would be alone again and it slowly led you to thinking if Luke and Spencer actually wanted to spend your birthday with you and not in another state. Well it was your home state, again. Every year around your birthday they had a case in your home state.

You had woken up to texts from your family, friends, coworkers and your boyfriends coworkers, from everyone but Luke and Spencer. It made you feel even worse, strengthening the thought you already had: they didn't want to be with you on your birthday. Maybe they didn't want to be with you in general anymore. Deep in your heart you knew that it wasn't the truth but right now you couldn't focus on that. It was your birthday and neither of your boyfriends had texted or called like they usually would. It was the first time in your entire life that Luke forgot your birthday. He always made sure to at least leave you a text, telling you how much he loves you and wishing you the best, already planning on what you'd do to celebrate your birthday when he was away. It was like a punch in your face, no, it was worse than that.

But what you didn't know was that your two boyfriends were on their way home to you, knowing how sad you were when they told you that they had another case or better, the same case as the two years before. It was the same unsub all the years and they took her down a day prior. She started to kill around your birthday but never getting her true target, you. Once Luke and Spencer had looked at the pictures of the victims again, it took them only one look at each other before they ran off to their unit chief. Emily was currently talking to a police officer when she saw the two men running towards her. "Woah boys, slow down. What's going on?", she asked while looking at them trying to figure out what was on their mind. "It's Y/N. The unsubs main target is Y/N", Spencer said, a bit out of breath. "What are you talking about?", Emily asked again. Luke only grabbed her hand, walking towards the conference room where the pictures were. "Look at the pictures Emily. Look at them and tell me that they don't look almost exactly like Y/N", Luke said while looking at his unit chief. And in that moment it hit Emily. The men were right, all the victims looked like you, only slight differences in appearance and they were not only in your home state but most of the murders were in your hometown too, leaving no questions that it had something to do with you. She called the rest of the team into the conference room, telling them what was going on. After that new information, Garcia dug a bit in your life to find anyone who would fit the profile. It only took her about an hour of digging through your past until she was able to find someone who could be the unsub. It was your ex best friend. She was always jealous of you. About the friendship you had with Luke, cause surprise she had a huge crush on him, thinking you were taking him away from her. How everyone liked you. Your healthy and happy family. About the fact that you were able to come out as bisexual and everyone excepting you for who you are. But she didn't only have a crush on Luke, she was in love with you too.

Wanting you to be all hers. She wanted your attention and she hoped she would get them from the murders. Garcia soon found her address, immediately calling her colleagues, telling them what she found. As the team began to get ready, Emily stepped in front of Luke and Spencer. "You're not coming with us", she said sternly. "What?! why?! Of course we are going, it's about Y/N!", Luke exclaimed. "Exactly, it's about your girlfriend. Your girlfriend who's again going to be alone on her birthday so yes, you both do get your asses up but only to fly back home to your lover girl with the next flight. We've got this and we're gonna update you as soon as we have news. Got it?", she looked at the men with a raised brow. Luke and Spencer both nodded, taking off their vests, grabbing their stuff, quickly saying goodbye to the rest of the team and driving to the airport, hopping on the next plane, on their way back home to you.

"Do you think she's going to be mad at us?", Spencer asked his boyfriend as they finally found their seats and sat down. Luke shrugged, he really didn't know. "I don't know Spence... I don't know if she's going to be mad at us but I know that she's sad. We definitely need to make it up to her with every little thing we can give", Luke had turned towards the man beside him. Spencer sighed, knowing that Luke was right. They both fucked up, again. It was already hard to make up for last year's birthday but knowing that you thought that they would miss another one, broke both their hearts. It wasn't a long flight ,at least not for them and after 4 hours they were back in Quantico, quickly making their way back to your apartment.

Yeah, maybe the case was a hard one but the other team members found time to text you, even rossi did so and he had never, never texted you before. Ignoring every text and call you got, especially Penelope's, leaving most people on read, you put down all the blinds in your apartment, shutting down any form of light, you just wanted to drown in the dark, letting the bad thoughts take over. So you went into the bathroom and curled up in the bathtub. Yes, the bathtub and not the bed. You felt like any kind of comfort wasn't what you needed right now. So you laid there, slowly opening the drain until the lukewarm water started to drench your clothes. You didn't even notice that you started to cry until you felt a warm tear falling onto your hand. Knowing the tears wouldn't stop any time soon, you just let them run down your cheeks, your body starting to shake as you began to sob. The thoughts finally really set in. Your two boyfriends, the loves of your life, forgot your birthday and probably didn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore.

You were slowly starting to fall asleep in the already cold water, tired from the tears that still streamed down your face and the sobs that wrecked your entire body. But before you were able to completely close your eyes, you heard keys jiggle in the hole of the front door. You couldn't care less, you didn't move one muscle, just accepting the fact that if it was a robber or murderer that this was your time. You didn't have the strength to fight or even open your eyes when you heard footsteps coming your way. "Luke?", Spencer quietly asked the man who stood beside him. Luke hummed in response. "We really fucked up bad this time", Spencer's eyes were starting to get glossy as he heard your sobs. Luke sighed, looking at his boyfriend and then at the open bathroom door. "I know baby, I know", he took Spencer's hand in his, softly rubbing his thumb across the back of his boyfriend's hand, "but we're gonna make it up to her, okay? We're gonna take some days off, going on a vacation, making sure to show her how much we love her and how much she means to us", Luke said quietly as he looked at spencer. The other man nodded, exactly knowing what he meant with the last part, and looked towards the bathroom again. Luke took this chance and slowly walked towards the door, taking Spencer with him.

"Y/N sweetheart?", Luke quietly asked into the dark of the bathroom. You had tried to stop sobbing as soon as you heard the hushed voices of your boyfriends, but they heard them anyway. "Can we come in?", you heard Spencer ask you. You only sniffled, not able to form words in your current state. Luke wordlessly told Spencer to put on the lights in the living room, not overwhelming you with the brightness of the bathroom lights. As soon as Luke was able to lay his eyes on you, his heart broke into a million pieces, the same as Spencer's when he came back to stand beside him. They both took in the sight in front of them. You were laying in the bathtub, wearing one of Luke's shirts and one of Spencer's boxers. Tears brimming in both of their eyes as Luke was the first one to approach you, carefully and slowly kneeling down beside the tub.

Before he turned himself to you, he looked at Spencer once again. "Baby can you go and grab some clean and dry clothes and make us a tea?", he asked him. Spencer nodded slightly before turning on his heels, determined to get you the comfiest clothes he could find before bringing them back to the bathroom and heading towards the kitchen. Once he made his way there he started to boil the water, putting in a tea bag of your favorite teas in your three matching mugs. While Spencer was making you all a cup of tea and preparing some snacks, Luke slowly took one of your hands in his, making you look up at him, a small genuine smile on his face.

He knew that you weren't able to form a word right now so he decided to just ask you "yes or no" questions, making it as easy as possible for you. "Why don't we get you out of the tub, huh sweetheart? Do you think I can drain the water?", his voice as soft as it could be. You nodded, slightly tugging on his hand. You wanted to feel him closer. Knowing what you wanted, Luke pulled out the plug to let the water out of the tub, moving a bit closer, putting both of his big hands on the sides of your face. "We're so sorry bub, we really are. We're gonna explain everything, I promise but now let's get you all dry and in comfy clothes again. Does that sound good?", he asked again. Earning another nod from you as your eyes glanced up at Spencer who was standing in the door, looking at Luke and you with all the love in his eyes.

Luke stood up slowly which caused you to whimper, gripping his hand even more, not wanting to lose his contact. "Shh bub, I'm not going anywhere, I was just standing up so I can help you out okay?" Luke was pulling you up with him so you were standing on your shaking legs, barely able to hold your weight yourself, but luckily Luke was there to hold you. He carefully lifted you out, still holding you when he placed your feet to the floor, nodding his head towards spencer. He walked into the bathroom, carefully removing the cold, wet and heavy clothes from your still shaking figure. As soon as Spencer had you stripped out of your clothes he wrapped a towel around you, carefully drying you up. Both of your boyfriends were whispering small encouragements. Luke always told you what a good girl you are, how much he loves you, how he could never even think about leaving you, telling you that you were the love of his life (of course Spencer too). When it came to Spencer he always rambled about how it wasn't physically possible to love someone as much as he loves the both of you, always rambling small facts about love and your favorite interests.

As soon as you were back in one of Luke's hoodies and one of Spencer's checkered pyjama pants and some fuzzy socks (mismatching as it has to be), the two men led you over to the couch. Spencer had lit up every single candle he found in the apartment, making the living room feel all cozy and not too bright. Once all of you were sitting down, you snuggled up with Luke. "We're really sorry that we weren't here on your last birthday but we can explain it, we really can. It may sound crazy but it's the truth. and of course we didn't forget your birthday sweetheart, as soon as we knew who the unsub was, we took the next flight and came home. We love you with all of our heart and we promise you and we're never going to miss another birthday of yours. We planned on taking some days off, going on vacation, just the three of us. how does that sound bub?", it was Spencer who was speaking this time and instead of a nod, they actually got a real answer. "I-I'd really like that", your voice was just a whisper, still a bit sore from all the crying. Spencer and Luke both smiled as they each kissed one of your cheeks.

This was the moment a small smile was finally creeping its way on your lips. the fact that both your men were home, on your birthday, taking care of you, planning on going on a vacation, was all it took to overshadow the dark thoughts in your mind.

418 notes · View notes

softieteez · 3 years

Text

backstory

warning: death, cancer, drinking, mental abuse, some physical abuse, cussing, crying, anxiety attacks, suicidal thoughts, child neglect

genre: angst

summary: before ivy even got to her teen years, things were more difficult than most adults lives. from losing her dad, to experiencing neglect.

a/n: ivy’s story is pretty deep. feel free to skip this post if you are triggered by anything listed. also i’ll be using her birth name a lot throughout this story.

languages: normal = english. italic = korean

olivia min was born june 4, 2001 in michigan. she is the youngest of three siblings. miya, the oldest, was born february 20, 1997. and austin, the middle child, was born august 4, 1999.

growing up, olivia had an amazing relationship with her family members. her parents were always really supportive of anything she wanted to do. and her siblings, were annoying, but they all love each other so much. the family was pretty middle class, maybe more upper middle class. they had enough money to buy nice things and go on trips, which was nice and it gave the kids experiences they’d always remember.

when she was a baby, the families friend jax, had given her the nickname ‘ivy.’ the name stuck with him and eventually spread to friends at school. but her family members always called her olivia or jisoo, her korean name.

in school she was a social butterfly, running around recess practically collecting friends like they were collectors items. and because of her loving nature, no one could say no. she’s also very smart, she’s always had straight a’s and was usually willing to participate in class. teacher would say she was a sweet and smart little girl, and of course she could make the class burst into giggles at any second.

olivia started dancing at the young age of 4 when her parents enrolled her into dance classes. there, she met new friends and became one of the best youth dancers in their town.

her grandparents lived in ohio, which meant a lot of the times they would travel there for the holidays. olivia had a friend named aggy that lived there.

aggy lived next door to ivy’s grandparents. she was diagnosed with leukemia only five months before meeting the family, this was when ivy was maybe 7 years old.

through the years, ivy excelled in everything from piano lessons that she started when she was 5, to even cooking. she was a cheerful and happy little girl. until she reached age 9 when her dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.

this was a huge reality hit. she didn’t really understand it though, her dad was healthy. until he wasn’t. she remembers that day so clearly

“where’s mom and dad?” olivia asked walking into the kitchen and seeing her sister sitting next to their sleeping brother on the couch

“hospital, grandma and grandpa will be here in a few hours. for now our neighbors are gonna look after us”

“hospital? but why?” the little girl tilted her head

“i don’t know olivia. go back to sleep it’s early” miya did know, she saw her dad getting worse and worse as the months went on. but the last thing anyone wanted to do was worry anymore people. especially austin and olivia.

“okay…” she responded and went back toward her bedroom.

a few hours later she woke up to her grandma shaking her awake “wake up olivia. grandpa and i brought lunch.” the elderly woman spoke

olivia smiled at her grandmother as she sat up and stretched. the girl walked to the kitchen.

she still remembers all the yummy food her grandparents made, now knowing it was out of grief. later that night was when her parents revealed the truth to the kids.

and suddenly her whole world collapsed.

she would miss dance class and sometimes even school because her father would be in the hospital. because her mom and dad were always gone, she and her other siblings were expected to help around the house. occasionally with their grandparent by their side.

when she turned 10, she didn’t have much of a birthday blow out. and her present was some nail polish because that was all her family could afford at the time. when she turned 11, they spent her birthday in the hospital. her dads condition became so much worse that he wasn’t able to leave the hospital.

“i’m sorry you have to spend your birthday like this livvy” her dad held her had. his skin was paler than usual. colder too.

“it’s okay dad, i’m just happy we’re all here” she smiled as she held back tears. but her dad knew she wanted to cry.

“me and your mom got you something” he smiled and looked at his wife. the woman smiled sadly and reach in her purse to pull out a small purple box.

olivia grabbed the box from her mothers hand and opened it slowly. a beautiful butterfly necklace was revealed.

“it took a little while for us to find the perfect one” her moms sniffled. “we wanted you to love it”

thinking back on that moment. ivy now understood they wanted it to be special because it would be the last gift she would ever receive from her father.

“thank you mommy. thank you daddy” she whispered and pecked her dads forehead.

sadly, on june 29, her father passed away in the middle of the night. for some reason, her brain blocks this moment out. it’s all a blur.

her and her sister were sleeping on the little couch the nurses had set up and her brother was laying on the sleeping bag he had brought on the floor. it happened so suddenly. she woke up to her mom hysterically crying and weeping.

her brother and sister were frantic as nurses guided them three of them out of the room. but she does remember the last look she had at her dad.

he didn’t look real, more like a painting. or a sculpture maybe. his skin was practically white and his body was lifeless.

her whole family was in a depression, especially her mom. after losing her husband, she started drinking to numb the pain.

her grandparents left ohio and went back to korea completely unannounced. it was up to miya and austin to take care of themselves, each other, and of course olivia.

after a month of her fathers passing. the family had got a call from aggy’s mom informing them that aggy passed away july 25. so now she lost her dad and her best friend. along with that her mom isn’t stable enough to take care of her and her siblings, and her grandparents were m.i.a.

when she turned 12, that’s when her moms drinking got worse. she was living off of beer and tv dinners. she was also now mentally abusive toward her children.

austin became the child that started work. he would work late at night and then go to school all day. he was responsible for the families income at age 14.

miya was rarely ever home as well, but she was gone to escape their mom. she would rebel, hang out with her boyfriend, who ivy later found out was physically abusive.

then ivy was the kid that did the chores. she would also clean the neighbors houses to help pay her dance fees. the neighbors would always feel bad so they’d usually give her $30 for each chore she did. that was barely enough though.

and somehow, none of their friends ever noticed anything. except for austin’s, he’s always shut down plans to work and was overly tired all the time. but the friends did start noticing behavior changes

ivy became really depressed and spent most of her days just waiting for them to end.

the family got some income from the bank after the fathers passing. the kids were all in his will, earning $114k each. but they wouldn’t receive that until age 18.

around this time, ivy got into contact with her grandparent. begging day after day to move their and live out her dream of being an idol. her siblings would even call and beg the grandparents to let her, not wanting her to experience this life anymore.

after months of begging, her grandparents finally agreed to move her out to korea. she had already submitted audition videos to big companies like sm, jyp, yg, bighit etc.

she was 13 when she was officially moved into korea. she lived with her grandma and grandpa for a month before moving into the jyp dorms. she trained there for a year before being sent off to audition for produce 101.

during this time, she experienced great stress. her anxiety and depression led to suicidal thoughts and almost had to leave the show because of it. many fans who were supporting her throughout the show noticed her getting skinnier and skinnier by the episode.

somi, who became her best friend instantly, was also worried for her. ivy felt bad that she was worrying people. but she couldn’t help it, her mind controlled her. her thoughts were always telling her to do something. she would practice all the time and forget to eat.

somi would often watch after her to make sure she would at least eat a bagel and drink water everyday.

it wasn’t long before ivy would share her story, only parts of it publicly. her story reached american headlines, meaning her family and friends had seen it.

she was struggling for years. and it was only recently when she found inner happiness. she worked hard during produce, and didn’t win. and of course, she left jyp and moved to kq where she met her life long friends.

her boys have helped her so much, they were there to listen to her story, to hug her when she cried.

those are her boys, her family. her home.

29 notes · View notes

adventuresindolls · 3 years

Text

May Photo Challenge!!

Our next photo challenge, #Daisies and Daffodolls, will begin on May 1st! It’s a creative, for fun, non-competitive daily challenge for you to share pictures of your doll(s). There will be a new prompt each day, listed below to give you a month to prepare, and you can participate in as many or as few days as you’re interested in. There is no judgement whatsoever, so please share regardless of how complex your props are, and don’t worry about posting a prompt late.

First of all, thank you so much to @desertdollranch for helping with the prompts, especially those surrounding AG birthdays and holidays, and for getting this whole photo challenge thing started back in September! And a huge thank you to @lesbianelizabethcole for designing all 5 banners!

The ground rules are the same as in October and December, but I’ll reiterate them for anyone that might be new. Tag all of your prompt posts with #daisies and daffodolls - all three words, complete with spaces. This will allow us to better find and share each other’s posts. You can organize your own posts however you want, but I recommend including the day’s prompt somewhere for context. Also feel free to post on other social medias if you want.

This is not a competition, and there are no prizes, but it should be a lot of fun. Feel free to use any size and brand of doll that you have! American Girl is very popular on doll tumblr, but all other types are welcome as well, including both established (historical or modern) characters and OCs. This could range from 18-inch dolls to Barbies to handmade dolls or porcelain dolls or even paper dolls.

I’ll reblog this post weekly until the beginning of May, and then begin each week of May with the prompt list for that week. Please find a list of all prompts below the cut.

5/1: The first day of each photo challenge is traditionally for seasonal fashion. Does your doll have a favorite spring outfit? Is it cool and light, or are they still bundled in a sweater for the chilly mornings?

5/2: Spring is all about new beginnings. Is your doll learning a new skill or trying a new activity this spring? Or maybe they just met a new person who became important in their life?

5/3: Today is National Textiles Day. Kirsten’s friends gave her a quilt they made after she missed school to help her family. Does your doll have any clothes or other items that are handmade? If not, do they make any textile items themselves? This could be something sewn, knitted, crocheted, or quilted.

5/4: May the 4th be with you! Does your doll like Star Wars? Who is their favorite character? What about other stories? Pick a hero from any movie, show, or book that your doll loves and have them act out a scene as that character.

5/5: Friends are forever. Who are your doll’s closest friends and what do they do together? Maybe they like to play board games or go to the mall or play pretend. Or maybe your doll is planning something special for their friend.

5/6: As the weather gets warmer, it’s the perfect time to head outside. Does your doll play sports, or do they prefer casual games with their friends? Maybe they like picnics or quiet hikes through the woods.

5/7: Happy birthday, Maryellen! Maryellen often feels overlooked in her large family, and she works hard to stand out and show her unique personality. What makes your doll special and unique?

5/8: It’s career day! What does your doll want to do when they grow up? Show them dressed up for and/or acting out their dream job.

5/9: Happy Mother’s Day! Addy and her mother escaped to freedom together, Caroline’s mother ran a shipyard, and Kirsten’s mother encouraged her not to lose heart. Does your doll have a special bond with their mother? How do they celebrate Mother’s Day? If they don’t have a mother or don’t have a good relationship with her, consider today a free space to show us something you really want to but that isn’t included in these prompts.

5/10: Bugs are everywhere! We might avoid some of them, but others are welcomed. Lightning bugs, ladybugs, bumble bees, and dragonflies are a few happy spring bugs. Show your doll doing something bug-themed. They might take a net out to catch bugs or draw a picture of a bug or hold a ladybug they found. Be creative!

5/11: Parties are always fun! Is your doll going to any birthday parties or sleepovers this spring? Maybe they’re attending a wedding or some other celebration? What are their favorite party activities?

5/12: Spring weather can be a relief after the cold and darkness of winter. What is the weather like where your doll is? Foggy? Rainy? Bright and sunny? Show your doll interacting with their local spring weather.

5/13: Everyone needs mentors and heroes. Who does your doll look up to? What have they learned from them or how do they honor them?

5/14: It’s the last day of the school year. What’s your doll’s favorite extracurricular activity or aspect of school that they’ll miss until next fall?

5/15: Happy birthday, Luciana! Luciana loves learning about space and wants to be an astronaut and go to Mars one day. Getting to space involves studying many different things, particularly various fields of science. Show your doll doing something related to space or science.

5/16: Today is National Do Something Nice for your Neighbor Day. What does your doll do that helps others or makes the world a better place?

5/17: Let’s try something different today! If your (OC or non-AG) doll had their own American Girl-style book series, what would be the central theme? What sort of things would happen to them? Show us at least one scene from this hypothetical series.

5/18: Beaches and swimming are iconic activities as the weather gets warmer and people have more free time. Rebecca and her family went to Coney Island for a picnic. Does your doll enjoy picnics, sunbathing, or sandcastles on the beach? Maybe they like to swim for exercise or hang out at the pool with friends? (I do not recommend putting your doll in a public chlorine pool)

5/19: Happy Birthday, Kit! Growing up seeing the effects of the Great Depression on people around her, Kit is determined to report on important things happening to real people. How does your doll relate to current events? Are they involved in activism or spreading awareness? Is there an important social issue that affects them personally or that they feel is very important? Or is there something good happening in the world that they like to think about?

5/20: Spring is a great time for tea parties. What’s in your doll’s teacup? Maybe they’re drinking a fancy tea, or maybe they prefer a refreshing glass of juice.

5/21: Spring is full of baby animals. Show your doll interacting with some sort of baby animal. (Safely! Please don’t grab a real squirrel or bunny!)

5/22: In December we celebrated Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. I’d like to reprise that, but with a twist: this time, we’re headed into the future! The amount of time and what your doll finds in the future is completely up to you. What do they do while there?

5/23: Cakes and pies and ice cream, oh my! What is your doll’s favorite dessert?

5/24: There may be fewer holidays in spring than in December, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing to celebrate! Does your doll celebrate Passover or Easter? Or maybe they prefer a more obscure spring holiday to liven things up? Show them participating in whatever celebration you like.

5/25: Yellow is the color of flowers and sunny days and ducklings. Show your doll wearing or using something yellow.

5/26: Happy birthday, Samantha! After her birthday party, Samantha hears Aunt Cornelia speak at a suffragette meeting in New York City. What is a cause that is important to your doll? Show them with a sign supporting or protesting something close to their heart. As an added challenge, use a cause unrelated to the current events prompt.

5/27: It’s summer vacation! What are some of your doll’s favorite activities now that they’re free from school? Alternatively, what are some of their favorite hobbies to do anytime?

5/28: Happy birthday, Cecile! For her birthday, Cecile’s brother Armand gave her a beautiful porcelain doll that looked like her. Does your doll have a favorite doll or toy?

5/29: Late spring and early summer is a great time to go on a road trip or vacation. Where is your doll traveling to, and what are they doing there? Or maybe their family chose a staycation this year - what new fun new things are they discovering close to home?

5/30: Today is National Water a Flower Day. Show your doll interacting with flowers or other plants.

5/31: What is your doll planning for this fall? What are they looking forward to when school starts again? Is a big change approaching as the seasons and leaves turn? What does the future hold for them?

#Daisies and Daffodolls #American Girl Dolls #Our Generation #dollblr

83 notes · View notes

supernatural-jackles · 4 years

Text

Owe You One - Part 2

Title: Owe You One - Happy Birthday Mary Winchester

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 5,592

Warnings: Anxiety, Mentions of Sex, Meeting the Parents, ANGST, Pinch of Fluff, Self loathing, Mentions of Death, Hints at Depression.

Summary: Dean Winchester has been your best friend and neighbour for the last year. A year of finding comfort in random drop ins and casual conversations, but neither of you know the pasts that the other has. Not fully. Pasts that come back to haunt you, and ruin everything you want in life. Can you find what you’re seeking in a couple of favours and a good time between the sheets or is history doomed to repeat itself?

Owe You One - Masterlist

Square Filled: Fake Dating ( @spndeanbingo)

A/N: I hope y’all enjoy this part! I’d love to hear your thoughts on it! Feedback is always appreciated! Happy Reading!

You pulled your favourite black dress out from the back of your closet. The dress you had only had the chance to wear once for a date that didn’t even happen. This was happening. Dean was going to be knocking at your door in less than an hour. He was going to be dressed in a classy black suit that was sure to make him a million times more handsome than he already was.

You dragged your slipper covered feet back into the steamy bathroom. The mirror was starting to clear as you removed the lime green towel off the top of your head, letting your wet hair fall down to your exposed shoulders. You had your blow dryer plugged in already, and your brush ready to get started. You were going to make your hair look a little more natural. You wanted it to be straight, but not hair straightener straight. If you blow dried it just right, you would get a nice natural wave to it that would look good with your dress.

You worked the brush through your hair first, wanting to make sure all the knots were out before you began to dry it. You were actually looking forward to going to Dean’s mom’s birthday tonight. You were looking forward to meeting her and seeing the rest of Dean’s family. You were looking forward to getting out for the night and looking fancy for once. Not to mention, Dean was your date which was a big bonus.

You dried the last part of your hair, making sure it looked perfect before putting your supplies away. For once, your hair actually looked good. There was a good amount of volume, and softness to it. It smelled amazing due to your special shampoo. You hoped that Dean would appreciate it.

You stepped back into your bedroom, dropping your towel so you could finally put your dress on. You had your comfortable bra that would match your dress. You carefully pulled it on in front of the mirror in your bedroom. The dress had lacy long sleeves, and showed just the right amount of cleavage to be appropriate, but not prude. It went down to your mid thigh and suited you really well. It was probably why it was one of your favourites.

All that was left to do was your makeup. You wanted to keep it simple, especially since you were meeting his parents at this party and you wanted them to like you. You were sticking with a nice coat of mascara on your top lashes and a bit of concealer to cover the blemishes. To finish off, you put a bit of lip chap on to make your lips look good, and still be able to kiss Dean later on when the time came.

You glanced in your closet to try and find some shoes to go with your dress. You didn’t want to wear something that you couldn’t walk in. You had a nice pair of heels that were almost ankle boots. They weren’t too high and they would match your dress. You figured it was a good go to for the evening.

Three knocks at your door pulled you from your thoughts. You forgot about your shoes and skipped your way to your apartment door. You unlocked the lock and pulled it open, revealing Dean in his handsome suit that made him look like a different person.

“Damn,” you smirked.

“Damn, yourself sweetheart,” he commented, stepping into your apartment. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I just have to put shoes on and grab my purse.”

“Sure,” he nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. You quietly made your way back into your room to grab the last two things you needed. Dean looked handsome as hell, and he smelled even better. There was a part of you that couldn’t believe that you actually had sex with the man. Dean knew you thought he was good looking and it was almost the same the other way around. He had told you when he saw you naked that you were beautiful. Then again, you were naked and he was going to have sex with you. Men say anything to have sex. Dean was different though. He was your best friend.

You slipped on your cute heels, making sure they were comfortable before reaching for your purse. A cross the body black purse with a gold chain strap. Something that went well with your entire outfit. You glanced in the mirror one last time, making sure everything was good before you left.

“Alright,” you breathed out, shutting your bedroom door as soon as you walked out.

“Ready to go, girlfriend?” He asked you with a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Why yes I am, boyfriend,” you giggled. “You look so handsome, De.”

“Thanks sweetheart,” he winked, holding his hand out for you to take. You give him a warm smile, placing your smaller hand in his before walking out the door.

You locked your door behind you, shoving your keys in your purse before heading to Dean’s door. He double checked, making sure he locked it. You walked to the stairs of the apartment complex and you instantly regretted the heels. No matter how good they looked. Flats next time. Always flats.

You spotted Dean’s 67 Chevy Impala as soon as you walked out the door. He parked her in spot twenty seven, which was assigned to him by the building owner. If you had a vehicle, you would’ve had the spot right next to his. Only you couldn’t afford one at the moment. You didn't mind taking the bus. Everywhere you needed to go was within a decent distance.

Dean reached for the door, opening it for you to get in first, like a true gentleman. You offered him a smile as you stepped in his beloved baby. He slipped in next to you, sticking the keys in the ignition, her purr filling your ears instantly. His car was beautiful and partially because he took such great care of her.

“Alright fake boyfriend, what is off limits tonight?” you asked him, turning down the radio a little.

“What do you mean?” he questioned, turning to look at you for a split second.

“In terms of PDA and such,” you cleared up.

“Ah,” he nodded. “Maybe don’t grab my ass in front of my parents.”

“Shut up! As if I would grab your ass in a public place,” you giggled.

“I saw the way you were checking me out,” he winked. “In all seriousness, handholding and a few kisses here and there will be enough to convince them we’re together. Our friendship is enough to make anyone question us. This will just make it look more real. I’m not too worried, You’re the kind of girl parents love.”

“What makes you say that?” you furrowed your brows.

“You just are,’ he shrugged. You swallowed hard, not exactly knowing what his words meant. You definitely weren’t the kind of girl that guys brought home to meet the parents. You never had been that girl and you were probably never going to be.

“Dean,” you breathed out.

“You- you’re approachable, you know? You don’t come across as a bitch and you’re not. You don’t dress to show off, but you also don’t hide either. You’re classy. You’re just the kind of girl who clicks with everyone,” he tried to explain. He was a little awkward about it, as if he was trying not to cross a line.

“Thank you?” you let out a laugh. “I’ll try not to embarrass you.”

“Alright,” he nodded with a smile.

Dean pulled into a parking lot of what looked like a hotel. It was about a twenty minute drive from your apartment, so you were unsure of the area for the most part. Dean turned into one of the nearest available parking spots, cutting the engine. You let out the breath you had been holding, trying not to think about how scary it was going to be to meet Dean’s parents.

You got out of the car at the same time, shutting the door in sync before heading towards the back. Dean reached his hand out, slipping it into yours, intertwining your fingers. You smiled at the warmth of his hand in yours, feeling a little bit of the nerves dissipate.

People dressed the same as you and Dean headed in the entrance of the hotel. You were thankful you felt like you fit in. It was one less thing for you to worry about. How many people were attending this thing, you thought to yourself. It made you wonder just how popular his mom was, and how well she was going to like you.

“You nervous?” he asked you, squeezing your hand as you stepped foot in the tall building.

“A little,” you breathed out with a smile. You looked straight forward, seeing a sign that pointed to the left, indicating that the party was that way. You took a deep breath, getting ready to see just how big this party really was.

You stepped foot in the room, the music filling your ears instantly. It was a winter wonderland theme. Everything was white and blue. Ice sculptures were everywhere and of all different shapes and sizes. It was truly beautiful to look at. From up close and from far away. The room was filled with people and not a single sad face in the room. Your eyes traced over all the curtains, and the decorations, taking it all in.

“This is astounding,” you mentioned to Dean.

“All of my mom’s parties are this big,” he told you. “There she is.” He pointed over to the tall table with a huge snowflake sculpture. You swore your heart fell down to your stomach. You recognized her anywhere. It was hard not to. You took a deep breath, turning away from her direction in case she was to see you.

“You - you never told me that your mom is Mary Campbell,” you swallowed hard, trying to compose yourself the best you could.

“Mary Winchester now, but yeah, she was Mary Campbell at one point,” he furrowed his brows. “Why?”

“I- I can’t be here,” you stuttered, shaking your head, taking in a deep breath. You really couldn’t be here. It was hard not to recognize her. You had seen so many pictures of her when you were growing up. You had no idea what exactly went down, but all you knew was that Mary hated your mom with a passion.

“What? Why?” he questioned, reaching his hand up to your arm, keeping you in place.

“Your mom’s going to hate me,” you breathed out.

“Wait up,” his lips formed a line, “why is my mom going to hate you?”

“Because she hated my mom,” you revealed. “Your mom and my mom were best friends growing up. My mom had so many pictures of your mom and I’ve seen them. But something happened and they never spoke again. Your mom hated my mom. I should have put two and two together. John Winchester and Mary Campbell. I should’ve questioned it when I realized your last name is Winchester. I don’t know how I didn’t.”

“Sweetheart, you’re not your mom,” he reminded you. “Whatever happened between them has nothing to do with what happens between us.”

You felt your chest growing tighter as you let everything set in. There was no way in hell you should be here. You couldn’t stand to be here, and you knew that she was going to recognize you the same way. You looked like your mother. You didn’t want to cause any trouble for Dean or her for that matter. Why didn’t you put two and two together. Your stomach filled with anxiety and your palms began to sweat. What is she saw you and kicked you out? What is she made a big scene about you being there and tossed you out in the worst way. You’d never be able to show your face in public ever again.

“Hey Dean,” his younger brother Sam greeted. He had a beautiful blonde on his hip which made you smile a little. “Y/N, nice to see you.”

“You too, Sam,” you nodded.

“You remember my fiancee Jessica,” he motioned to her before pecking her cheek.

“Of course,” you smiled. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You too,” she beamed. “Your dress is gorgeous. It suits you very well.”

“Thank you,” you smiled nervously.

“So is Y/N your date?” Sam teased.

“She’s actually playing my girlfriend so mom and dad will back off,” Dean informed him.

“Smart move,” he let out a chuckle. “Not like they’ve ever met any of your girlfriends anyways.”

“Exactly,” he shrugged.

“Mom’s motioning for me to tell you to head over to her,” Sam raised his eyebrows.

“Shit,” he muttered. “You ready Y/N?”

“No,” you shook your head. “Can’t I stay with Sammy?”

“I wish,” he frowned.

Dean slipped his arm around your waist, turning you in the direction his mom was. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest. You were terrified of this part, more so now than you were before you got here. There was no way she was going to make a scene, you thought to yourself. If anything, it would be private. You just hoped that maybe she saw it the same way Dean did. You weren’t your mom. You were nothing like your mom.

You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, hoping that if you did, you’d gain the slightest bit of confidence. You felt like you were going to throw up. It was a terrible feeling. At least you knew now to never agree to meet someone’s parents. This ruined it all for you and it wasn’t even your fault. So much for you being the kind of girl that parents loved.

“Happy birthday Mom,” Dean greeted her, pulling her in for a hug. You mustered up the best smile that you could, hoping you could still make a good impression on her.

“Thanks kiddo,” she smiled. “And who might this be?”

“Mom, this is Y/N, my girlfriend,” he introduced you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, tugging you into him.

“Hi, Mrs Winchester. It’s really nice to meet you,” you said to her, holding your hand out for her to shake. She hesitantly took it, giving you a weak handshake as Dean’s dad stepped next to her with a glass in his hand.

“Please, call me Mary,” she beamed, holding her arms out before pulling you in for a hug. You felt the slightest bit of relief, but there was still that pit in your stomach that was screaming at you to get out of here as quickly as possible. You didn’t want her to hate you like she did your mother. You weren’t your mom, you repeated in your head. “This is John, my husband and Dean’s dad.”

“It is really nice to meet both of you,” you nodded with a smile, taking a step back from them.

“How long have the two of you been together?” she asked, her tone a little skeptical.

“A few months now,” Dean stated before you could come up with a lie. “She’s been my neighbor for the last year or so. After a few months of borrowing the odd thing, we became friends. Then friends became something more.” Dean leaned over, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. You didn’t even realize that you leaned into him, allowing his simple gesture to comfort you. You almost forgot it was a fake relationship for a second. He was just trying to sell it. But you couldn’t deny his touch put you the slightest bit more at ease.

“Dean is an amazing man,” you beamed. “You both did a wonderful job raising him. He’s such a gentleman.”

“Thank you,” she nodded with a smile. “Would you boys mind grabbing both of us a drink? Give us girls a chance to talk.”

“Sure,” Dean nodded. “What would you like sweetheart?”

“Uh, just a water please,” you breathed out nervously. Dean pressed another kiss to the top of your head before stepping away with his dad. The drinks were on the other side of the room and there was a bit of a line. It meant you were going to be alone with Mary for longer than you were comfortable with. You could feel yourself growing more and more on edge with every ticking second that passed.

“So you and Dean, huh?” she commented, clearly pausing to see what you had to say before she laid into you.

“Yeah,” you nodded, daring to look at her. “Look, if this is the if you hurt him-”

“It’s something like that,” she declared, cutting you off. “You look a lot like your mom.” Fuck, she knew you alright. Not that it was a shock with how her tone changed. She was clearly comparing you to your mom and there was the slightest bit of venom that you picked up on.

“I- I get that a lot,” you nodded, letting out a breath.

“Then you must know exactly who I am and what that means,” she tisked. “You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here tonight.”

“I- I had no idea when I came here tonight, I swear,” you almost mouthed. She was extremely intimidating. More so than you thought she was going to be. “I apologize for being here. I don’t want to cause any trouble, I promise.”

“Don’t you dare even think of hurting my son. Your family has a history of poking around and slipping their way into things they shouldn’t be involved in,” she warned you. “I don’t need some girl coming into my son’s life, fucking it up and ditching him when she’s done and bored. Which is exactly what you’re going to do. You’re not good enough for him and you never will be good enough for the Winchester family. Enjoy your night ‘cause you won’t be allowed within ten feet of any of us after it.”

“I’d better go then,” you mumbled, trying to will the tears away until you were a good distance away from her.

Your hands were sweating and you swore your heart was going to leap out of your chest and soar to the other side of the room. Your legs couldn’t move fast enough. Why did you have to wear heels? Why not flats? You desperately wanted to cry. She was harsh and judged you based on your mother and the relationship she had with her. She wasn’t going to let you explain. Nothing. You were forever going to be known based on who you were related to. It wasn’t fair in the slightest. You should have left the second you found out his mom was Mary Campbell.

You managed to sneak out of the room, heading straight for the hotel doors to go outside. Surely the bus came this way. You couldn’t be here when you were hated by the most important person in the room. You never should have agreed to it. You never should have told him you’d do it. It was a mistake and you were going to pay for it for the rest of your life.

The cool Kansas air filled your lungs. For the first time, you felt like you were able to breath. You were on the verge of a panic attack, which wasn’t good. You were in a strange place and you were on edge. A recipe for disaster. From now on, you were going to stay away from Dean and the entire Winchester family. Like she said, you were never going to be good enough for their family. She was going to make damn sure that you weren’t welcome, or wanted. You didn’t want Dean to be disowned either. It was his family and you weren’t going to make him lose them just so he could be friends with you. It wasn’t your place and clearly you weren’t worth the trouble.

“Hey, there you are,” Dean called out, making his way over to you. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“This was a mistake,” you whispered, attempting to swallow the lump forming in your throat.

“My mom say something to you?” he asked you.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m really sorry I couldn’t be a better girlfriend to you,” you told him, not daring to meet his eye. “I think I should go.”

“Regardless of what my mom said, you are still my date, Y/N. I want you here,” he stated.

“I’m not welcome here, Dean. That’s the problem. I’m sorry,” you mouthed. “I’m really sorry.”

“I’m not sorry for bringing you here tonight,” he declared. “Out of everyone, there is no one I’d rather endure this with than you. You and I get along well, end of story. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be here with me. But I want you to be, as my best friend.”

“De, your mom-”

“My mom can handle one night. I don’t care if it’s her birthday or not. She can handle me happy with you for one night,” he said with a soft smile. “C’mon, let me treat you the way you deserve to be treated for one night.”

“O-okay,” you sniffed before clearing your throat.

“Are- are you crying?” he asked with concern evident in his voice. “What did she say to you?”

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” you shrugged. Dean stepped closer to you, reaching under your chin, urging you to look up. He gave you a weak smile. His thumb brushed over your cheek, wiping away the tear that managed to fall.

“You aren’t your mom, sweetheart. You can’t be compared to anyone else. Remember that,” he assured you. He held his hand out for you, waiting for you to take it. You were nervous as hell to head back in that room. Especially since she already made sure you felt unwelcome. You didn’t want her to get people to remove you. “C’mon, we came here to have some fun.”

He squeezed your hand as you walked back into the hotel. Dean had enough confidence for both of you. If you just stuck by his side, maybe everything would be okay. He could protect you from his mom and then you’d never have to see her again. You prayed he didn’t have to leave your side.

He handed you over your water, and you took a sip instantly. You washed down the lump, finally feeling a bit of relief. You were sure your eyes were a little red, not that it would be noticeable with the lighting. You could feel his mom’s eyes on you. She was on the other side of the room and you could still feel them. You knew not to look. God, you’d be lucky if she let Dean talk to you again.

“Care to dance with me?” he offered.

“You dance?” you asked in shock.

“No, not at all. But you look like you could use something to make you smile. Besides, we still gotta look like a couple,” he winked.

“Fine, one dance,” you rolled your eyes playfully. He took your hand as soon as you placed your cup in the garbage, leading you out to the fairly large dancefloor where most of the party was.

He slipped his hand around your waist, resting it on the small of your back before the other took your hand. You placed yours on his shoulder, looking up at him with a smile playing on your lips.

“You look really nice tonight,” he smirked. “But I gotta say, that dress would look nicer on your bedroom floor.”

“You’re something else, Winchester,” you let out a laugh.

“Yeah, I know. It’s part of my charm,” he chuckled. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

“Surprised you even asked,” you half smiled.

“I’m a gentleman,” he nodded, leaning down. His lips brushed over yours in a sweet, tender kiss before pulling away. You watched the smile creep up on his lips before he kissed you once more. His grip tightened on your waist and before you knew it, he was dipping you down. A laugh escaped passed your lips as you gripped his shoulder a little more, trying not to fall over.

“You are something else,” you shook your head.

“Told you I was going to make you smile,” he cocked his eyebrow playfully. “I don’t even know who this song is by.”

“I don’t either,” you told him. “But I kind of like it.”

“I’ll see if I can find it for you,” he winked.

“Dean, mind if I cut in,” his dad’s voice filled your ears. John stood a few feet away from you, shoving his hands in his black dress pants. “Your mom wants to speak to you. I’ll keep your girlfriend company.”

“Alright,” he nodded, swallowing hard.

“C’mon girly, let’s see what you’ve got,” he grinned, almost making you feel comfortable. That was much different than what you got from his wife. Then again, Dean was still close by. He hesitantly left you with his dad, heading over to his mom on the other side of the room.

“You don’t have to dance with me, Mr Winchester. I can wait outside,” you offered.

“Nah kiddo, you aren’t doing that,” he said kindly, holding his hands out for you to make the first move. You carefully placed yours in his, allowing him to start dancing.

“I should,” you breathed out. “I’ve already overstepped and I don’t want to make anything worse than I have.”

“Y/N, it’s okay,” he stated. “If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be dancing with you.”

“It’s not,” you shook your head. “But thank you for lying.”

“You like Dean, huh?” he asked with a smile. Changing the subject, you thought to yourself. This was getting awkward really fast. Something was definitely not okay, and he was trying to make the best of the situation. You should have left when you had the chance to.

“Yeah, I do,” you nodded. “He’s one of the good ones.”

“Then that’s all that matters,” he assured you.

“You know that’s not true,” you scoffed. “I know I’m not welcome here, and I’m never going to be. I also know it’s not my fault as to why, but the thing is; it doesn’t matter. I’m still an association and that’s never going to go away. Regardless of what I say or what I do. There will always be that thought in the back of everyone’s mind because of the history between my mom and your family,” you paused, swallowing hard once more. You came to a quick realization. “I apologize for coming tonight and ruining everything, because I’m sure I have in someway or another. Please know you won’t have to worry about me ever again.” You pulled yourself away from him.

“What does that mean exactly?” he furrowed his brows.

“It means I’m not worth it, and I’m not good enough. You and your wife already know it, and it's only a matter of time before Dean realizes it too. Just like everyone else does,” you pointed out. “Thank you for the dance but I have overstayed and I should get going.”

“Kid, wait,” he called out. “Do you know exactly what went down all those years ago?”

“No. I don’t,” you said sternly.

“Ask your mom about it,” he suggested.

“I would, but she died three months ago,” you declared. “Like I said, thank you for the dance.”

“Hey, wait up,” Dean called out right before you could walk away. “Where are you going?”

“I’d like to go home, please,” you asked him.

“Did you say something to her?” he growled at his dad.

“No,” he shook his head. “Kid, I’m sorry about your mom.”

“I’m sorry I ever stepped foot in here,” you smiled, trying to will the tears to go away. “I won’t bother you or your family ever again.”

You turned on your heel, making your way off the dancefloor and to the exit. Dean caught up to you quickly, slipping his hand into yours as you walked out. This time, he didn’t argue with you. It was pretty obvious that you weren’t enjoying yourself and his family was doing a pretty good job of embedding Mary’s words into your brain.

You weren’t ever going to be good enough for the Winchester family.

Dean lead you to the impala, opening the door up for you to get in, just like he did at the start of the night. You knew as soon as he shut the door that this was the last time you were going to be in his beloved impala. You knew there was a damn good chance you and Dean weren’t going to see each other for a while.

He peeled out of the parking lot and headed back on the same roads you travelled to get here. The darkness had filled the sky in the same way it had filled you inside. You never in a million years, expected tonight to go so horribly wrong. The first time meeting someone’s parents and they already despised you with everything they had. You never should have agreed to this. His family noticed more because of who you were.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your mom?” he questioned, clearing his throat. “We were friends three months ago. We’ve been friends for the better part of the last year. Why didn’t you tell me she passed away?”

“Because I don’t want sympathy. I don’t want the ‘I’m so sorry for your loss’ ‘she was a good person’ shit you get when someone dies. I don’t want people to feel bad. I hated her. I have hated her for the majority of my life and even now that she’s gone, she’s still ruining my life. ‘Sides, what could you have done, Dean?”

“Hugged you? Been there for you?” he pointed out. His tone was hard and a little angry. Not that you really blamed him.

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s just what you need on top of everything,” you breathed out, turning to look out the window.

“Why are you pushing me away?” he inquired. “Tell me that one.”

“Because it’s easier than you walking out of my life,” you shrugged, not bothering to look at him. You didn’t want him to see the tears forming for what felt like the millionth time tonight. “I’m sure your mom told you to break up with me.”

“She did,” he confirmed. “She told me that our families have history and history has a way of repeating itself. I don’t know what it means.”

“You and me both,” you mouthed to yourself.

“I’m really sorry for tonight, Y/N. I know this isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

“It’s okay,” you breathed out. “At least you can tell her we broke up when you see her next.”

“I never said I was breaking up with you. I simply told her that you’re a good person. The mistakes that were made in the past shouldn’t dictate the future for someone it had nothing to do with. You aren’t your mother,” he shared.

“But I look like her and your mom is going to be reminded of that every time she sees me. It’s for the best,” you stated. “Good thing we aren’t actually dating.”

“Yeah,” he breathed out, almost inaudibly.

You arrived back at the apartment. Dean backed the impala into his designated parking spot before cutting the engine. Tension filled the small space. You knew this wasn’t good. You also knew that most of the tension was coming from you. You were the one that wasn’t welcome. His family didn’t want you anywhere near them or their son for that matter. You’d be stupid to even attempt at proving them wrong.

Dean walked you to your apartment door, which you were expecting. He usually did. You saw the soft smile playing on his lips. He felt guilty for bringing you tonight. Even though neither of you knew this was coming. You knew this was the last time you were going to see him for a while. You could feel it in your gut. He wasn’t going to stop by to see you, or pretend something was broken just to bug you for a few hours. He wasn’t going to call or text. Your friendship had been hit by the great big Mary Campbell-Winchester wrecking ball.

“I’m sorry for everything, again,” you said sadly.

“I’m sorry too,” he frowned. “I’m really glad I slept with you though. It made it a little more worth the trouble.”

“Not by much,” you chuckled dryly. “I’ll see you, Winchester.”

“See you tomorrow,” he winked.

You slipped your key in the lock, quickly unlocking the door before stepping in your apartment. You gave Dean a small wave, shutting the door behind you. There was no way he was seeing you tomorrow, or any day after that. How the hell could you ever face him again, knowing that his mom wanted him to end things with you. She hated your mom that much and you because of your mom.

You weren’t going to ruin Dean’s life anymore than you already had. He could do way better than having you as a best friend. You were a lost cause anyways.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part 3 will be out on Tuesday

Did you like it? Were you expecting that? What was your favourite part? Share your thoughts with me via reblog, reply or send me an ask! I love reading your thoughts and your response keeps me going!

Dean Babes

@emoryhemsworth / @deans-baby-momma / @percussiongirl2017 / @gabavaldman / @a-distantdreamer / @clarewinchester / @feelmyroarrrr / @x-waywardaf-x / @ria132love / @whimsicalrobots / @gh0stgurl/ @tabrown2021 / @jayankles / @1000roughdrafts / @claitynroberts / @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester / @winchasterdean / @dolphincliffs / @atc74 @shamelesslydean / @tailsoflightning / @spnwoman / @squirrelnotsam / @squirrel-moose-winchester / @mtngirlforever / @dean-winchesters-bacon / @maddiepants / @pandaheazen / @liberty01 / @deanscarlett / @sandlee44 / @idontknow-canyou / @imaginationisgrowth / @closetspngirl / @blacktithe7 / @dubuforeveralone / @theunofficialduke / @mersuperwholocked-lowlife / @winchester19-67 / @mogaruke / @midnightsilver16830 / @mrswhozeewhatsis / @its-not-a-tulpa / @akshi8278 / @im-a-light-child / @kcp15 / @mishapanicmeow / @whiskeywinter89 / @gallifreyansass / @flamencodiva / @ruprecht0420 / @xristina-gkika / @padamoosemakegirlmoosegowhaaa / @stellaa33 / @cookiechipdough / @deansgirl215 / @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou / @robfangirl / @mlovesstories / @spn-fan-girl-173 /

@imagefanfictionlover / @prettyinplaid94 / @luci-in-trenchcoats / @cpag7 / @wwecrazed2010 / @mamaredd123 / @fanfreak07 / @hhiggs / @kcp15 / @caseyrhodes / @severinsnape / @deanwinchesterswitch / @darklivingcenturies / @bloodwitch666 / @deansgirl-1968 / @waitwhatsrealityagain / @captainelkequinn / @missstrictlydickly / @alexwinchester23 / @spnbaby-67 / @one-little-anon / @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce / @tardis-is-mine / @keymology / @absolute-randomness-forever / @justanotherwinchester / @jadesupernatural / @anastacia-winchester / @team-free-will-you-idjiot / @idksupernatural / @deanwanddamons / @spnfamily-j2 / @majorcurious007 / @rhiannon79j / @pisces-cutie

Owe You One

@indecisive20something / @deanmonandnegansbitch / @rosiehayes / @allonsy-yesiwill / @onethirstyunicorn / @herscrunchiehairtie / @deanwinchesterinthedarktower / @badpvn / @akshi8278 / @invisiblexnobodyximportant / @roonyxx / @sucker-for-dean / @kakakatey / @ladyofmaidensandwine / @busy-bee-angel-misska / @hopefulmoonobject / @wayward-gypsy / @magssteenkamp / @matsumama

673 notes · View notes

a-shakespearean-in-paris · 3 years

Text

I was in a toxic friendship

I want to preface this by saying I am so much happier right now and I am no longer friends with this person. Haven’t seen or heard from her in over a year. I also want to be clear this was a friendship I had in real life, not tumblr. I think however this story’s lessons can be applicable across the board to online friendships and even relationships with family members. Please, if you ever feel belittled by your “friends,” and you bring it up to them and they brush it aside and think you’re overreacting, it’s not a friendship.

I was friends with this person, let’s call her Stacy, for about ten years before I realized I no longer wanted to speak to her or be her friend. I met her in the ninth grade and we bonded over Disney World and other things and I could talk to her about anything, including this huge crush I had on a twelfth grade boy. She came over to my house sometimes, though not a lot, and as high school wore on we started going to the mall together, stuff like that. I went to college in a different city and she came to visit me sometimes, and we even worked at the same theme park, though different departments. For all intents and purposes this was my best friend, though Stacey got upset when I also called my cousin my best friend, even though she spoke of her sister as her best friend.

She got a boyfriend when we were both around 21/22 or so, I think we were both juniors in college, though she took a semester off because she hated school and thought it was weird I was a double major. She told me her boyfriend was thirty and she met him at work. I thought the age gap was a little big, but I wasn’t one to judge. Later on I found out he was 36 and she told me she lied because she was worried how I would react. I met him and I thought he was nice, but when she got engaged when we were both around 23, I had only met him that one time for a birthday dinner she had, and my mom and dad told me they thought it was kind of strange. They also said it was weird to them whenever I hung out with Stacey it was only for like an hour, two at most, especially since my cousin and I could spend days and day together at sleepovers, chilling and being ourselves, interpretative dancing, lol. Privately I also found it odd I could talk to Stacey about anything, but when I asked questions about her life and her thoughts she’d barely talk. Her grandma passed away, she loved visiting my grandma because she could have one through me. One day I broke down and admitted my grandmother is a narcissist, and she is different behind closed doors. she berates me, used to call me fat, berated me. Stacey didn’t believe me. I can’t say when she started not being such a good presence in my life, but these were some seeds, and it got worse--slow at once and then all at once as they say.

Anyway, I was a bridesmaid of hers and her sister was the maid of honor--a mutual friend was another bridesmaid and there was one more (super sweet girl and I don’t even think Stacy talks with her much anymore either LMAO) and at this point in my life I was really into my first fanfic IWD. I was consumed with it, to put it bluntly. This is another story entirely but I spent so much of my college career as an English major writing for academia, and when I was finally writing something for me, I bloomed. I talked to her about it and she kind of laughed about this Cullen person but she liked to read fanfic herself so was whatever about me doing it. I shared with her my first piece of commissioned art and she laughed at Lydia thinking Lydia was just me, and I told her, no, she wasn’t, she’s based off of several old hollywood ladies and I actually made her avatar in game, but she wouldn’t believe it. I actually ended up saying “would you think this if I were white and she were white as well” and she laughed and didn’t understand. Needless to say the whole incident rubbed me the wrong way. I ignored it. Her wedding happened, her sister made a good speech, then when all the groomsmen did a speech for the groom the other Bridesmaids and I thought we had to do something, so we got up there and made an impromptu speech. I called her my sister and I told her I loved her. I didn’t know it then, but I didn’t believe her when she said “love you too.”

I wanted to go back to school, and I ended up in a Masters program after the wedding. My summer semester, my first, went well, starting in June and ending in July. I finished IWD and went to another fic, Stacey making fun of Sophie, my OC for that fic too, because I just straight up made her part Hawaiian like I am. When I told her I had little representation growing up other than like Lilo and Stitch and now Moana, (which I don’t like TBH but another story lol.) she asked me what the big deal was about that. Why did it matter that no main character ever looked as I looked? I couldn’t explain to her how much writing a character who was like me in a fanfic mattered. We planned on going to Disney World, me, her, her sister, and the other bridesmaid, but don’t post anything on facebook because she didn’t want to invite the other other bridesmaid. I wanted to go to a nightclub with her for my birthday but she didn’t want to go because her sister couldn’t enter, so after my whole family, plus her and her husband ate at my favorite restaurant, she went home even after I begged her to come with my and my cousin. She said it was stupid. Also, her husband was a huge ass to wait staff. Alarm bells went off for all of us.

But I was looking forward to Disney in December that year. (2018) I didn’t have a job at the time but was actively looking. Well, I got a job after interview after interview at restaurants that wouldn’t hire me, my dream job researching Shakespeare. It fell through. (I was promised to actively help the professor research, it fell through.) She paid for the trip without me knowing and I had to pay her back 800 dollars on writing commissions which I severely underpriced. because I was worried no one would pay otherwise. School wasn’t going well. Put it simply I felt really dumb and stupid and like I didn’t belong, (we were reading Ulysses!!!) which I later learned was a common sentiment with my classmates who began the same time as I. I will admit my relationship with academia is rocky at the moment, but I genuinely do love to write, love to research, love to make discoveries about new texts. Stacey saw how stressed I was and sad and got angry I was so sad, and asked why was I in school anyway Am I going to be on my deathbed and wished I studied harder? I didn’t have the energy to tell her it wasn’t about “studying harder,” it was that I loved writing and reading and wanted to be a part of academia. Learning makes me happy, expanding my mind. She belittled me anyway, thinking getting a Masters was dumb and I wouldn’t get a good job.

At Disney World I was so happy. I hadn’t been there since I was a child. She made fun of me for wanting to meet Ariel, for wanting to ride Soaring and being afraid to check grades when a classmate said they were up. I got so stressed I cried at the Japan pavilion at Epcot and stress ate sauerbraten at the Germany pavilion (Amazing by the way, I love German food.) She basically dictated the entire trip--we went to Universal for Harry Potter World at her request and refused to ride the spider man ride with me (it was fucking fun too-girl missed out.) All she wanted to do was stand around in Harry Potter world all day, (LOL now right?) I wasn’t that big of a Potter fan anymore, even at that point, and she told me I was going to stay there anyway and like it. She dictated the entire trip and when I questioned her about it she said I wasn’t listening to to her--we were following the agenda. Our last day there we went to a “Hawaiian” restaurant and made a comment about my “Hawaiian privileges.” I just didn’t have the heart to tell her that the crap we ate didn’t hold a candle to real Hawaiian luau food.

When we got back I was mentally drained and melancholic because I wondered why Stacey was so cruel to me. She always had a biting wit, but before it seemed playful. Now it was cruel, mocking. She made me feel so incredibly stupid. At this point my cousin got engaged and I cried because I wanted so badly to be in love with someone and get married. I was angry and I lashed out at people I shouldn’t have. I was later diagnosed as depressed. I felt like my life was at a standstill and matters with Stacey didn’t help. I also had a huge writing crisis--I told Stacey something I will always remember and always regret because she doesn’t deserve to know: I write the romances I want because no man wants me. At this point, Stacy turned me into her project. She didn’t like how sad I was at Disney World, it put a bummer on her trip, and when I told her she seemed off she brushed it off. Her plan was to get me on dating apps and basically settle for anyone, even though I had used apps before and don’t like them, but when I got back on Bumble she basically patronized me and told me she was proud of me and “small steps.” On bumble, I wanted to vomit. (for the record, I am not against dating apps, I know success stories, but at that time I was not emotionally ready to date.) Also, she would teach me to drive so I could go on dates, but only in my Dad’s truck.

I wish I could say I broke it off, that I told her not to talk to me again, but Stacey stopped talking to me first. However. the day she stopped was when I told her she was wrong and I wouldn’t listen to this anymore. What happened? I mentioned I was demisexual. She said it wasn’t real. I said it was real to me--I don’t experience sexual attraction unless I have bonded with someone. Sure there are people I like to look at, but it’s not a sexual attraction. She asked about my crush on Tom Hiddleston, Cullen, “that robot guy” and was like yeah you’re sure demi, and lol it’s not real. It wasn’t just her words, it was the mocking indifference.

I went off. I told her she didn’t have the right to tell me what was in my brain or how I felt. I knew who I was and who I am. I should have also told her I wasn’t her project, but I left her that day and it was the last time I saw her.

I talked to my dad that night and mentioned it to him, being demi, and you know what he told me? I think I’m the same way. I think I almost cried.

I tried to talk to her again but she didn’t want to see me. She had “personal issues and was busy” I pissed her off. Good, I say now. But after this happened in March of 2019 I thought I had no friends. She was my only friend, and I lost another mutual friend (one we went to Disney with) because she knew Stacey longer than she knew me. But you know what happened in April? My cousin asked me to be her maid of honor and I fucking wept, because there was my best friend--my sister all along. Just because she lives in another city and we are growing up and it took me longer to figure out my career than her doesn’t change the fact that we have a bond that can’t be broken. My cousin is one of my favorite people and if you know her you love her--it is impossible not to. And when I told her about my fanfic and about being demi she wanted to know, wanted to listen. School got better too--I started chatting in class more and come to find out, one of my classmates also broke up with a toxic friend. God I love her and I miss her--wish I could see her. (thanks COVID)

There was more, but this was a lot, and I spent more time writing this than I thought I would. I wanted to write it because seeing a few posts float around made me remember, and I want ya’ll to know, leaving a friendship is scary. Sometimes it can be worse than leaving a lover. But it is a brave thing to do. Part of me that knew I should have left at the first racist comment (oh yeah, she called me a pineapple one day before the Disney trip, did I mention it’s a slur for Hawaiian people? If my grandma were there she would have clobbed her.) but I stayed because I didn’t think I had any other friends. Well, I did and I do, and I know now friends lift each other up, not belittle or talk behind your back. They listen to me when I talk about how important my writing and my characters are to me.

Sometimes I still miss her--but mostly the high school her that I knew before she met her husband. I don’t know if he changed her or this was her all along, perhaps both. I got fired from a job in November 2019 (which now I’d like to thank them because I got a better and more fulfilling job with a boss that respects me.) and when I cried outside the place, humiliated, I wanted to call her and vent like I used to. I didn’t. Now I don’t want to call her anymore or talk to her. I’d rather spend time with people who care, people who don’t kick me when I’m down. Since then I am so much stronger, in so many ways. The worst times in my life yielded the greatest lessons I have ever learned.

If you made it this far, thank you. I did tear up a little writing this, but please know: it can be hard to walk a new path, but it is brave. You are brave. You don’t deserve to be belittled *hugs*

#personal #toxic friend #ok to reblog #tw: depression #tw: racism #yep she was that bad and I was blind for a long time

68 notes · View notes

thatfilthyanimal · 3 years

Text

I know I've talked about this before, but possibly not publicly, and definitely not recently.

When I say "The movie Megamind saved my life" I am dead serious.

So, heavy tw for descriptive suicide, abuse, adult themes etc below.

Maybe a month before Megamind came out, my partner of about 3 years and I broke up. This relationship had been a rebound of a long line of others who were (mostly) abusers in some way or another. I was 23, and had been rebounding relationships since I started my first at 13 with a person who was debatably grooming me.

So like, 10 years there to get super messed up by people insisting they loved you. At some point I developed Borderline Personality Disorder, probably best known as a disorder that involves heavy fears of abandonment and unstable moods due to black-and-white thinking.

So my partner and I break up, and no, of course it couldn't be a normal sane breakup, god why would it ever be? It had to be followed with him admitting that the last two years of it he didn't think he loved me, and was only staying because he was afraid I would kill myself.

So also, two years of phone sex (we were long distance) with a person who was lying to me. I felt... sick. Violated in the worst way. Used. But most of all after ten years of this shit? Done.

I fell into the worst depression I've ever had. I felt a disconnect with reality in the most frightening way. I no longer felt like I could trust anyone at all. I loved my friends, dearly, but I also realized to my own horror that I couldn't bring myself to speak to them about these thoughts I started having. I felt like I was existing in a daze, knowing fully well that I was considering ending it, more and more each day that passed with the louder loneliness felt. Every time I saw my friends or mom I felt sadder, knowing I was about to let them down in the worst sickest way I ever could. I knew they would hate me. I knew they would wish I hadn't done it. But I couldn't care. I couldn't talk to anyone about it. And I cried myself stupid knowing that there was some relief to everything, knowing a finality to things was coming, and feeling sick for wanting it. Days went on and the pain wasn't going away at all, and I knew, deep down, what was coming. I started making plans. I knew what I would use. I was going to do it far away so my friends or mom wouldn't be the one to find me.

It was the most terrifying shit I've ever experienced.

My birthday comes, and, sickeningly, my partner had gotten a plane ticket to come see me for it, stay for the week--- prior to the breakup. He let the ticket lapse, and despite hoping he would show up, somehow, like... come back and be like "I'm sorry, I really do love you"... yeah. No. It was a ruined birthday that my friends truly tried to make better, tried to celebrate with me, but here I was, floating in my own thoughts of upcoming relief and shame that they would forever hate me for hurting them so bad.

At some point, one of my friends approaches me, and mentions Megamind because she's seen it a couple times and loves it. I feel bitter about it, because, unfortunately, that was a movie my partner and I saw a trailer for and wanted to see together. I'd forgotten about it. My friend insists, and passively mentions Minion, and I have to stop and laugh because, wait, the robot fish henchman is named "Minion". Deadass. Okay. That's stupid. That's hilarious. Okay, I need to see it.

So she takes me to see the movie. I'm expecting it to be bad.

It's not bad.

It's amazing.

Here I was, feeling like my life was a mistake, and that I was an unsalvageable mess, only to see this blue alien dude going through similar feelings. I bonded to it instantly. He changes for better, saves the day, and gets the girl.

It did things to me.

I immediately come home and download a camvid of it. I watch it a second time in blurry glory that night. I pray there's a fandom. I find the LiveJournal community. There is.

And I did the only thing I knew to do at this point, which was cling to this movie and fandom like a sinking life raft, which felt like my only lifeline left. This movie gave me some weird feeling of hope, and some feeling of needing to hang around for more.

It deadass saved me.

I clung to the fandom long enough to get more of a hold of myself. I was so happy. I was, admittedly, burying my feelings, which would come up later (this last year), but for the moment I was happy.

2010 ended, despite me truly thinking I would never live to see it happen.

I eventually came out about this to the fandom, feeling some odd obligation to, and more people came forward with frighteningly similar stories. I didn't feel alone. And I felt like I had to protect what was here. When Dreamworks canned the sequel, I was absolutely gutted, unwilling to believe that the thing that saved my life, and the lives of others, was seen as disposable.

So, ten years later?

Not only am I not in some terrifying state of being suicidal, I'm thriving. I got diagnosed with Borderline which I desperately needed, went to therapy and learned to control my feelings better, and got a job, got a car, and saved up to move. I met Megamind fans in person, multiple times, multiple people. At DashCon (yes) I realized I had fallen for one of my fellow Megamind friends, Vamp. We'd been having a huge fandom meet up, and it blindsided me. I moved up to Illinois to live with Vamp. We went to another fandom meetup, and a fandom friend's wedding. We got another dog (named her Minion). We got engaged. My dad passed away and, yeah, left trauma with it, but money. We bought a home. We still live near one of our Megamind fandom friends. I felt comfortable to come out as trans and the fandom was still listening and cheering me on. And... you know what?

I'm fucking happy.

I'm so fucking happy.

Ten years ago no part of me believed that anything would get better, and it did. It did amazing.

I still hold out hope for a sequel someday, because of course I have to. It saved lives, I will always hope for more of it. I will always salt at Dreamworks until they listen.

I'm not asking for sympathy really, just understanding that what comes off as weird obsessive cringe behavior is just unfiltered love for something that made my life worth living. I know some of my friends didn't even understand, and probably felt resentment for the fact that a movie did what they couldn't. It's not their fault, and I understand. But a lot of people don't know where I'm coming from? And I want them to?

If anyone at Dreamworks sees this, thank you for working on Megamind. Thank you so much. I know I'm full of salt but damnit, it's out of love. I wish the higher ups of Dreamworks had any care in the world for the impact this movie made on lots of people. It was so ahead of its time and it deserves so much more.

I will die loving this movie, because without it I would have already been gone.

I guess it’s also worth mentioning, that if you struggle with similar thoughts, at all, ever, please remember what I’ve been through and do me a favor and reach out to someone, anyone, find whatever your sinking life raft is and hang on. I’d of missed so much in only ten years. You would too. You will be happy you stayed. I promise.

31 notes · View notes

cherryquitecontrary · 4 years

Text

Elvira Casimiro

Decided to do a character bio for @arcana-echoes and because I haven’t made one since I first made this blog oops

Art by the talented @joeyhazell-art

Full Name — Elvira Casimiro

Meaning of name — Elvira: “foreign and true”; Casimiro: “peaceful”

Family — Ignacio Casimiro (Father; deceased), Camila Casimiro (Mother; deceased), Marina Valeriano (Aunt; deceased)

Nicknames — Evie, Starlight (by family & Asra)

Favourite meal — Pozole

Favourite drink — Honey lemon tea

Favourite flower — Marigold

Birthday — August 8

Age — 26

Height — 5′ 4″

Gender — Female; she/her pronouns

Romantic/Sexual orientation — Bisexual/ Biromantic

MBTI: ISFJ

Zodiac —

Sun: Leo

Moon: Virgo

Patron Arcana —

Major: Judgement

Upright: Judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution

Reversed: Self-doubt, inner critic, ignoring the call

Minor: Queen of Swords

Upright: Independent, unbiased judgement, clear boundaries, direct communication

Reversed: Overly-emotional, easily influenced, bitchy, cold-hearted

Familiar: Luna the Xoloitzcuintle

Appearance

Plague-Era and Present Elvira (sans white hair) created via Artbreeder

Height: 5’ 4”

Hair: black, thick and wavy (2c hair type), white at temples post-resurrection, about mid-back length

Hair style: parted to the left, typically worn down

Eyes: emerald

Build: slim, but wider at the hips, toned arms and legs (from climbing things)

Distinguishing features: strong nose, full eyebrows, full lips, birthmark under left eye

Skin tone: Honey Tan

Typical outfit: black dresses paired with a well-loved fringe shawl made of burgundy fabric, barefoot if she can help it

Languages spoken — Venterran, Vesuvian, knows some Vesuvian sign language

Hobbies — reading novels and poetry, tending to her many exotic plants, playing the guitar. singing, dancing, telling stories

Love Interests — Asra, Nadia, & Julian

Background — UNDER THE CUT

Childhood —

Elvira was born to Ignacio and Camila Casimiro on a small farm in the Venterre countryside. The small family was not wealthy and did not have the help of immediate or extended family. Ignacio was orphaned young and Camila had no contact with her parents or her older sister Marina. However, they were a very close and loving family unit. Elvira’s parents worked their land and managed farm animals, selling the products of their labor to survive. Camila was also a seamstress, and would make and repair clothes for the people in the nearby village. When Elvira was young, her father was in an accident on his way to a village further away to sell produce. He died and left Camila and Elvira to fend for themselves. Camila grew depressed when her husband died, but she tried to hide it from her daughter and continue to manage the farm without him. It became difficult to manage a young child, a farm, and herself as she grew sick from an illness she didn’t know she had at the time. Slowly, her health grew fragile, and many of the farm chores that couldn’t be supplemented by young Elvira went undone. The crops went unplanted, the farm animals were slaughtered for food. Eventually, food became scarce and Elvira had to steal from the surrounding farms for survival. She spent much of those years tending to a bedridden Camila. At the end of her days, Camila wrote a letter to her estranged sister Marina, letting her know that she was dying and leaving her little girl behind, and sent it to the last known place she knew her sister to be: Vesuvia. When Elvira was 15, Camila passed away, not knowing what would happen to her daughter.

A couple of days after Camila’s passing, a woman dressed in black came to what was left of the Casimiro farm. She was tall, with dark hair, dark eyes, and a striking resemblance to Camila. She told Elvira that her name was Marina, and that she was her mother’s sister. Showing her Camila’s letter, she informed the young girl that she was to come and live with her in Vesuvia, upon her mother’s request. Initially, Elvira refused. The years of struggling and watching her mother slowly die had hardened the girl. She didn’t trust her aunt, who was a stranger to her, nor did she want to leave behind everything she’d ever known. Eventually, she came around and left Venterre with Marina to live with her in Vesuvia. Initially, living with each other was not easy for the two women. Marina had spent her adult life living alone and she had no children, so she frankly didn’t know what to do with a teenager. Elvira was also wary of her estranged aunt, unsure of how to react to her and her new living arrangement. However, the two eventually grew close and changed each other for the better. They were both guarded people, traumatized by their pasts. But, they made each other open up. Marina became Elvira’s mentor and taught her everything she knew about magic- from potions, to spells, to fortune telling. Elvira adopted many things from Marina, like her fashion sense and her love of worldly topics- like romantic poetry and foreign languages. Eventually, Elvira befriended a young orphan named Asra that she had met a couple of times during the Masquerade and Marina took him in too. The three of them lived in happy bliss until the Plague came to Vesuvia.

The Plague —

At the start of the Plague, Marina dedicated herself to the research effort at the palace, leaving Asra and Elvira to run the shop. After months of working tirelessly to find a cure, Marina caught the Plague and died, never having the chance to say goodbye to her wards. After this devastating loss, Elvira and Asra started debating on whether or not they should stay in Vesuvia. Asra wanted to leave, but Elvira wanted to stay and finish the work that her aunt had started by any means necessary. After a huge fight tore the two of them apart, Asra left Vesuvia and Elvira offered her help to Doctor Julian Devorak as his assistant. The two worked closely together during the plague and managed to find comfort in each other while the Plague grew worse and worse (NOTE: this manifests as a romantic relationship only in Julian’s route). Eventually, Elvira, too, fell sick and died of the Plague. She passed away alone in her home, and was found with forget-me-nots tucked into the bodice of her dress and a book of poetry in her hand.

Resurrection —

When Elvira was resurrected by Asra, she had lost all memory, along with the ability to speak, read, and generally care for herself. She spent many tireless months with her former-friend-turned-mentor relearning how to perform essential tasks and how to perform magic again. While she regained some aspects of her former self- like remembering how to play certain songs on her guitar and how to care for her plants- she was no doubt different. There was only one physical difference: the hair at her temples grew out white as snow (Asra quietly remembers this as the way that Marina’s hair used to look). Personally, she had become a person Asra hardly recognized. She had guarded her heart, shut the world out like she did when she was a child and rarely ever ventured out of the shop alone. Elvira had also become fixated on regaining her memories. Even though Asra had to stop trying to help her access her memories through magic, she still had an aching in her heart to know who she was.

When Asra left on his first trip without her, she had to learn how to tend to her own needs. Her first time venturing outside of the shop, she found a small dog shivering in the cool night air out behind the shop. The dog was still a puppy and was scrawny. She initially avoided the dog, not knowing what to do or how to take care of it. But, the dog stepped closer and seemed to be illuminated by a moonbeam. Elvira took this as a sign to bring the dog in. She named her Luna and decided to keep her as a pet after she felt a connection with her. When Asra came back, he told her that Luna was likely her familiar, and the two have been inseparable ever since.

Presently, Elvira still runs the shop and lives with Asra and Luna. She is now fiercely independent and has taken more of a partnership role when it came to running the household and the shop. She is still guarded and tends to keep other people at arm’s length by nature. But, she is learning to be more open to others and new experiences.

#Elvira Casimiro #Echoes of the Past #<--- The official tag for all of my posts for the event #Aaaaaa I'm excited for this #It felt so good writing out the background stuff too

37 notes · View notes

demivampirew · 4 years

Text

Keep calm and go to London.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @agniavateira

Trigger warning: talking about depression; low self-stem and body image issues.

Disclaimer: I mentioned “Jared” in the story, because Jared Leto is my former celebrity boyfriend 😂 🤣 , before I found othe much better (sorry Jer) -if you want to think in other celebrity, you can 😁 -

You were in London for a few days. Your excuse was to visit some old friends that you haven't seen in a while, but the truth was that were trying to scape Los Angeles for a while. It's been a month since your breakup with Jared and you recently found out that the same day that you broke up with him, he slept with that woman that he sweared was just a friend. You knew that he did it in purpose just to hurt you for hurting him, but still it was an awful feeling to know that the person you spend the last five years of your live, who hold you while you cry all day in the last few months due to your depression, and who knew exactly how you feel about that woman, would be capable of doing something like that. Last September, during your tour in Latinamerica, you fell into a deep depression. Brian - your manager and best friend- found you a good therapist that agree to see you via videocall. At first, you didn't want anyone to find out -beside Jared, Brian and Beth, your other best friend- but soon enough you decide to make an statement on your Instagram account, explaining what you were going through. You made that desition after you saw lots of comments from your Latino fans complaining that you didn't have the same love for them as you have for the American and European fans, because you didn't laugh and smile as much in the meet and greets and during the concerts. It hurt immensely to know that they felt thay way, so you decide to let them know it was true that you weren't able to act happy like you did in the other parts of your world tour, but that it had nothing to do with them or that they love them less than your other fans. After your statement, you receive a lot of support and love and you decide to become an advocate for depression and mental health issues; to fight to erase the stigma around them. Another thing that you did, was promise yourself that you were going to get better, not matter what it takes, your going to get through this. What you didn't realize in that moment, something that a part of you knew for a long time but was avoiding at all cost, is that you needed to end your relationship with Jared if you wanted to get better. He was not a bad man, but he was a terrible boyfriend and you knew it, even if you always tried to make it seem like if he was the perfect partner. He had a few good qualities, like he'd cook for you, and sometimes would text you to tell you that he missed you, and he would hug you every night for sleep. But, unfortunately, that didn't compare to his flaws: he was always working or hagging out with his friends -who included lots of skinny models, one of them was a former lover of his and she even told you to your face that she had feelings for him-; you never went into vacations together because he always cancel last minute due to some work related issue -but yet, he will always find time to travel with friends-, you moved into his house, that you didn't like and when you suggested to buy a new house together he opposed. He had a lots of flaws, but the worst one was the fact that he wanted to keep your relationship in secret. For the first two years of your relationship, you agreed to this because you didn't want paparazzi follow you around everywhere you go, or people commenting on your relationship -especially on the fact the he was nineteen years older than you, you knew that people would love to critize that-, but after a few years, you just wanted to have a normal relationship. You wanted to go to coffeeshops, to travel, to go to a restorant with your boyfriend, to go to the premiere of the movie you were in or an award show together, etc. But he wanted the relationship to remain a secret. It wasn't until one day that you finally convince him to take you out to a restorant that people found out because paparazzi took pictures of you two and the next day the were all over the internet. He say that was ok but gave you the silent treatment for a few days. The fact that he was reluctant to the idea of your relationship being public and being seen with you affected you a lot. You grew up with lots of self-steem and body image issues and before started dated him you finded a way to be ok with your body and even feel sexy and confident, but in the last few years you were back in the self-hate train. You could stop yourself from comparing your curvisious body to the bodies of the skinny Victoria Secret's models friends of your boyfriend. You were barely being intimate in the last few years, which made everything worst because it made you feel undesirable. But luckily, thanks to therapy, you realize what you needed to do. After breaking up with him, you moved out with your best friend Beth, until you decide your next move. You were feeling tired of LA but didn't want to live in New York either, those places were too big and too loud for you; what you were looking for is some peace. London was such a beautiful city. You'd been there before lots of times, but always for work - you were not only a successful actress, but also a famous musician and one of the biggest songwriters and producers in the world- so you never had much time for sightseeing. After a week, you felt a joy that you haven't felt in a while. That city was so magical. And you also got the chance to see some old friends. It felt like if you finally, after so long, you were alive again. That night you were invited by a friend to one of her friends birthday party. He was the actor Simon Pegg and they worked together in the last two Mission Impossible movies, as she told you. She assure you that she asked Simon if he was ok with you coming to the party and he say yes. You were not a party lover, but thought that probably it'd be a great idea to get out of you confort zone for once. You put up a black lace cocktail dress with long sleeves and let your curls free. Put some makeup -you decide to go for more a natural look- and your favourite perfume and went to the party to meet your friend. Once there, you sigh in relive when you saw that the place wasn't too crowded and the music was not too loud. Your friend was waiting for you by the bar, so you went there and after a long hug you two got reaquented. Last time you saw eachother was when you played a concert in London a year ago. You didn't realize how much you missed her until you saw her again. After an hour or so, your friend was looking to her right and notice something. -Come with me. I want to greet some friends.- she said. You followed her and saw her greet a group of gentlemen. Your friend begin to introduce you to the three men. -Y/N, this is Chris; Chris, this is Y/N. - Yes, I know who she is.- Chris replied - It's a pleasure to meet you. -Thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you too. - And he's Edgar.- she continued. - Nice to meet a legend like you- Edgar said while shaking your hand. - I think that's a bit exagerated...but just a bit- you said smirking. -And he's Henry. - The mighty Witcher - you say in a playful voice as you shake his hand. -The one and only - he said, grinning - It's a real pleasure to meet you. - Same here. - you replied. You felt a tingly sensation; like electicity running down your spine and you weren't sure if it was because of his touch, because of his captivating smile, his piercing eyes or his deep voice; probably the combination of all of those things. Some time went by and Chris excuse himself and went to talk to other people. My friend was talking to Edgar and I was chatting with Henry. I told him that I was a huge fan of the show and it was a shame that I haven't had time to read the books yet or play the games. He was really surprised when a told him that I actually enjoy playing videogames, although I don't do it very often due to lack of time. We chat about our favourite games and books. At some point in the night, my friend and I went to the ladies room and after we made our way back to the group, Edgar started to ask me some questions. -So, Y/N, I heard about your breakup. I'm really sorry - He said. - Not need to be sorry.- I replied -Oh, ok. I wonder, now that you are single again, are you open to date? -Edgar! Are you trying to hook up with my friend? - my friend questioned in a protective way - No! I'm not asking for me. There's some friends -he cleared his troat- that find her really beautiful and I know would love to have the chance to have a date with her and I just wanted to know if she'd open to the idea. This friends are pretty cool guys, I promise. - Yes, I supose - I answered, not entirely sure. The idea of a blind date doens't sound appeling to me. -Great! We'll see later about that.- he said and then he look at Henry, like if the two of them were having a mental conversation and then he asked my friend to go with him to pick up some drinks. I continue to talk with Henry about games and the show and then he told me that he was going to visit the set the next day and asked me if I was interested in going to see it with him and of course that's not something I'd say no to. So we exchanged phone numbers and I decided to head back to the hotel so I could get some rest to be able to enjoy the next day.

#henry cavill #fanfiction #demivampirew #henry cavill x reader

197 notes · View notes

full-of-roman-angst-trash · 4 years

Text

Please, Don’t Ever Leave Me

This is a happy birthday fanfic for @layschips12. Sorry that’s it’s late, I hope you like it.

Pairings: Analogical, Background Roceit, Background Queerplatonic Intruality

Warnings: Depression, Anxiety, Bullying, Self Deprecation, Minor Panic Attack, Cursing, The Rest is Fluff.

This fanfic includes: Nb!Logan, Trans!Roman, Neopronouns!Janus (Ve/ver)

Word Count: 2,535

Virgil and Logan have known one another since they were 2. They met since their parents were friends with one another; they quickly became friends. They practically grew up together.

They were always there for one another. Virgil always helped Logan when they were stressed out, overwhelmed, having trouble with their emotions, forgetting to care for themselve, or struggling to be productive. He was there for Logan when in they’re last year of middle school, Logan was diagnosed with Major Depression.

Logan also tried their best to be there for Virgil. They stood up for him when others tried to pick on him. They helped him when he was having family issue. They helped Virgil when he had to go to crowded places or when he was scared/panicking. They were there for Virgil when he was diagnosed with Social Anxiety in their first year of high school.

Of course, when they couldn’t be there for one another they had their other friends to check on them.

They met Roman in 4th grade. Logan and Virgil where walking down the hall when they saw a group of 5-7 kids gather around a specific spot. At first they didn’t think anything of it, but when they got closer and heard someone crying; they quickly stopped walking. They turned to see that these kids were all making fun of a younger looking girl on the floor.

This small girl was a black haired Asian kid with dark brown eyes. Light freckles were peppered all along her warm ivory skin. She was relatively short and despite her skinny structure, you can tell she did some sort of exercise.

The second they realized that this group of kids were bullying this younger kid, they quickly intervened. However, they didn’t became friends with her until a couple week later, when the three of them were put in a group project together. A few years later they found out that Roman, was actually a transboy.

They met Remus at a sleepover in Roman’s house shortly after. However, for the longest time the two of them weren’t really close to Remus since despite being twins, Roman and Remus didn’t go to the same school. Due to Remus’ poor behavior he was put in a special school for difficult kids. They became a lot closer in college since Virgil and him ended up going to the same school.

Patton joined their little group in 6th grade when he transferred to their school half way through the school year. Patton was a tall, chubby, mexican kid with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. He was a huge social butterfly so he tried making friends with everyone. At first, Virgil didn’t like Patton one bit. But that changed when Patton helped him through an anxiety attack.

Finally, there was Janus who joined the group when ve started dating Roman. The two began to date in their junior year of High school. At first, ve didn’t really get along with the others but ve eventually got close to them.

~~~~~~~

Virgil began to have a crush on Logan in middle school. He loved how they were always so smart, kind, passionate, and understanding. He knew that no matter how much they were struggling, Logan would always be there for him. Sadly though, due to his Anxiety, he was afraid to act on these feelings. He didn’t want to lose his friendship with them, so he ignored them.

Of course, it wasn’t easy though. Apparently his little crush was very obvious since the others constantly teased him about it. They also claimed that Loan liked him back but he was hesitant to believe them.

So despite how much they pushed him to do it, Virgil refused to confess. But that only encouraged the others to try a different strategy.

Instead of trying to convince Virgil to confess, they would convince Logan. Thankfully for the group, after a few weeks of bothering them, they caved.

Roman, the self proclaimed love expert help set up the date. He had chosen a Saturday fall evening for Logan to confess on, since he claimed that it was the perfect weather and scenery. He told Logan the plan they had to follow for the day and send them off.

Logan walked to Virgil’s college dorm and knocked on the door. They were wearing a black suit with a blue shirt underneath and a blue tie.

Remus opens the door and smirks, “Virgin, your lover is here,” he calls out.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. No one else who visits us knocks!” Virgil walks to the door and blushes when he sees Logan.

Logan blushes as well. Virgil was wearing a a dark purple suit with a black shirt underneath and a black tie with a spider web design on it.

“Are you guys going to leave or are you just going to continue eye fucking one another?” Remus loudly cuts through their moment.

They both turn bright red and Virgil punches Remus in the arm, “Shut it! We’re going!”

Remus laughs as Virgil walks out of the dorm, taking Logan’s hand.

“I’ll be back later.”

“Okay Emo!” Remus waves before closing the door.

The date was going amazing. They started by going to watch a scary movie that had recently came out since Virgil wanted to watch it for a while now. Once the movie was over they took a walk in the park before eating at Virgil’s favorite restaurant. They ate some food and by the time they left it was dark outside.

“Today’s been amazing Lo. Thanks for taking me out.”

They nod, “Of course Virge. Before we go home can we go to one last place?”

“Sure,” Virgil smiles more, “Where do you wanna go?”

“I’m sorry but I’m going to have to retain that information from you. I want it to be a surprise. Also it’s want to not wanna.”

Virgil laughs, “Alright, alright. Lead the way then.”

“Close your eyes.” They say with a soft smile

Virgil chuckles, “Alright then,” He closes his eyes

They begin to lead him to the last destination of their date. The place where they will confess.

“We’re here.” They say softly as they come to a stop.

Virgil slowly opens his eyes and he lets out a gasps. They were on top of a hill. On the hill were tons of beautiful flowers. What was the most breathtaking though, was the view of the night sky. You could see thousands of stars and the beautiful full moon.

Logan had to admit that Roman’s decision to take Virgil here was adequate and ingenious.

“Wow.” Virgil mumbles, dazed from the beauty in front of him.

Logan chuckles softly, “Do you like it? It’s beautiful, right?

He nods, “Yeah, I love it. Thanks for bringing me here Lo.”

Logan smiles softly, “Of course,” They take a deep breath, “I, actually brought you here so that I can tell you something.”

A sudden wave of anxiety hits Virgil. Endless worst case scenarios and toxic thoughts fill his head. Before he knows it, he’s hyperventilating and shaking. Tears blur his visions and he can’t even look at Logan.

Logan frowns softly and gently cups his lover’s cheek.

“Virgil, can you hear me?”

A small nods accompanied by heavy breathing and sobs is the answer they get but it was more then enough for them.

“Alright good. It’s okay, everything’s okay. Just focus on me, clear you head and breath. I’ve got you.”

They spoke in a soft calming voice, one that made Virgil’s head clear up a bit almost immediately. Logan holds him close, whispering sweet nothings in his ear and running him through a breathing exercise.

Eventually they manage to calm him down.

“S-sorry.... I didn’t mean to interrupt you like that...” Virgil mumbles quietly and ashamedly.

Logan shakes their head, “It’s okay Vee. You don’t have to apologize.”

“Okay,” Virgil caves quickly, “Well, what were you gonna say?”‘

Logan takes a deep breath before gently letting go of Virgil. They stand in font of him and holds his hands.

“Virgil, we’ve been friends for 17 years now and I cherish our friendship so much. However, I can’t help but be unsatisfied with our current relationship statues.”

A blush dusts Virgil’s cheeks, “What do you mean?”

They take a deep breath before continuing, “I have romantic feelings towards you Virgil. I have for a while and I was wondering if you would accept me as your romantic partner.”

For a second, Virgil can feel his stomach fill with butterflies and his heart pound out of his chest. He stays quiet for a few seconds, trying to make sure that what he just heard was real.

Once his brain fully comprehends the situation he threw himself into Logan’s arms and started crying.

“Yes! YES YES YES YES YES! A million times yes!”

Logan held him close and laughed, blushing and tearing up a bit, making a mental note to thank Roman tomorrow.

~~~~~~~

Logan and Virgil stayed together for the rest of college. They eventually moved in together when they were both 23 and they were happy. Yes, they had their arguments here and there but it never got too serious. They had a nice healthy relationship. They continued talking to their group of friends and life was well.

Virgil is now 27 and Logan is 28. He woke up in the morning to find that his significant other wasn’t there. He was a bit shocked but just assumed that they went off to work earlier like they did sometimes. He got up and started off his day.

He got a knock on his door at 12:00 which surprised him since he didn’t remember inviting anyone over. He gets up and walks to the door, opening it to see Remus and Patton.

“Oh, hey guys. What are you two doing here?” He asks, pleasantly surprised.

“We’re here to hang out with you emo!!” Remus announces loudly.

Patton laughs softly, “Yup!! Sorry for the suddenness but I got a day off work and Rem wanted to come visit you!”

Patton and Remus have been in a gueerplatonic relationship for a while now. They moved in together right next door to Roman and Janus, mostly cause the twins wanted to stay close to one another.

“It’s alright, but can I ask why?”

Remus lets himself in, dragging Patton in with him, “Cause we want to Virgin!”

“I hate that nickname,’ Virgil mumbles as he closes the door.

The day was going amazing. The three of them played some games, baked cookies, made lunch, watch some dramas, and even painted each others nails. It was 7 p.m when Remus received a message. He checked his pohne and then smiled brightly.

“Hey, Mr.Sunshine,” Remus called to Virgil.

“What?” Virgil turns to him.

“Let’s go out somewhere real quick.”

Virgil checks the time, “But it’s pretty late and besides I have to call Logan, he should have been home by now”

“Kiddo, come on! It’ll be quick! Besides, I’m pretty sure Logan is fine, he’s probably just decided to work a bit overtime.”

He thinks for a bit before giving in, “Fine. Who’s car are we taking?”

“Mine!” Remus says, taking out his keys, “Let’s go!”

They walk out of the house and get into Remus’ car.

The whole car ride Remus and Patton avoid any questions Virgil has, which infuriates the clueless kid.

They park in a parking lot near a hill that Virgil immediately recognized.

“Why are we here?” He asks cautious.

Remus stops the car and gets out, “Please just follow us. Everything will be explained soon.”

Patton also gets out and holds out a hand for Virgil. He hesitantly takes it and lets himself be taken out of the car and led to the hill.

When they make it to the top they stop walking.

“Hey, kiddo, we’re gonna go get something real quick, can you stay here?”

Virgil starts to fidget with his sleeve getting more and more anxious by the second.

“S-sure...” He mutters out weakly.

They both smile at him softly and reassuringly before walking off in the direction of the car.

To try and stay calm, Virgil looks at the starts, taking shaky deep breaths and continuing to fidget.

Minutes that feel like hours pass before suddenly, footsteps start approaching Virgil from behind. He immediately tuns around, alarmed. But to his surprise, he it’s Logan. They're wearing a nice suit, one that looks like Janus’ mom made. After all, such an intricate Victorian design can only come from the best designer in town.

As soon as Virgil recognizes Logan he calms down, blushing at how wonderful they look.

“Hey, love. You scared me,” Virgil says with a soft smile.

They return the smile, “Sorry, dearest. I actually have a question for you.”

“Oh? What is it?” Virgil suddenly feels anxious all over again. Afraid that they want to break up with him.

They take a deep breath and take out a small box from their pocket before getting down on one knee.

“You're the sun in my shine, The spark in my plug, The heart to my beat, The day to my night, The twinkle in my eye, The hot to my spicy, The yin to my yang, The soul to my mate.Need I say more? Now all I want to hear from you, Is to say, "I do."

“Virgil, will you marry me?”

Virgil can’t believe his eyes or ears. It this real? It has to be. He’s crying. He can feel the wind through his hair and the ground below his feet. He can see the stars light up the sky and the moon shine down on them. He could hear the quite clamor of the animals around them.

He nods, “YES!”

Now they’re both crying. Logan puts the ring on Virgil before standing up. They share a warm hug and a perfect kiss.

They stand there in each other's arms.

“Please, don’t ever leave me,” Virgil mumbles into Logan’s chest.

“I won’t. I promise,” Logan whispers softly, kissing his lover’s head gently.

Suddenly a loud cheer comes from a tree near them.

“IT WORKED! CONGRATS YOU TWO!” Roman rushed out from behind the tree, smiling brightly.

Logan gently lets go of Virgil and turns to their friend, “I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT YOU WOULD WAIT BACK IN THE HOUSE!”

The other sighs, “I know! But I couldn’t help myself!” He whines.

Janus suddenly comes out as well and grabs vis’ husbands hand.

“Sorry about him. I tried to hold him back but he somehow managed to escape my grip,” Ver explains, trying to tug Roman back to where they were before.

VIrgil sighs fondly, “It’s alright Jan. Anyway, are the others here too?”

Roman nods excitedly, “Yup! Rem! Pat! You two can come out!”

The two of them do so

“Hey, congrats Kiddos! I’m happy for you guys!” Patton says cheerfully.

The two of them blush and thank him.

“Welp! Let’s go home! We have a party to start!” The twins say at the same time.

And with that, they start making their way to Roman’s and Janus’ house.

35 notes · View notes

jenwhitner · 3 years

Text

( ADELINE RUDOLPH. SHE/HER. CIS WOMAN ) Did I just see ( JENNIFER WHITNER )? This ( TWENTY SEVEN ) year old ( VETERINARIAN ) has been living in Chicago for ( EIGHTEEN YEARS ). Some say that they are ( TENACIOUS & COMPASSIONATE ) as well as ( VOLATILE & INSECURE ). If they had a theme song, some might say that it would be ( ALL THE TIME by MOOSE BLOOD ). All I know is that I can’t wait to see what they bring to the Windy City.

hellooooo, it’s lauren, back with my second character. this is jennifer! she’s one of rowan’s older adopted siblings, and she’s one of those people that acts super tough and a little distant at first, but she’s a sweetheart really, i promise. @hocstarters

‏‏‎ ‎

INFO:

full name: Jennifer Ahn Whitner

birth name: Ahn Ji-hyun

nickname(s): Jenny, Jen

birthplace: Daegu, South Korea

birthday: 25th June 1993

age: 27

zodiac sign: Cancer

gender & pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: Heterosexual

physical: 5′6, brown hair, brown eyes

occupation: Veterinarian

‏‏‎ ‎

PAST:

( tw: death; car accident; child neglect; bullying; mental illness )

1993, Daegu, South Korea. Ahn Ji-hyun was born to a newly-married couple, who cared for her well and loved her dearly. Her early childhood was great, and she had plenty of friends. She showed a love for animals and nature early on, and developed a habit of picking up and bringing home any injured animals she found, wanting to help them. She also loved literature and art, spending hours covered in paint or listening to her mother tell her stories.

But, tragedy struck when Ji-hyun was 5 years old, and the family were involved in a car accident when returning to their home after a meal out. All the members of the family were rushed into hospital. Unfortunately both of Ji-hyun's parents eventually succumbed to their injuries, but, Ji-hyun managed to pull through. She spent a few weeks in the hospital recovering from her minor injuries. Somehow she had managed to walk away with only cuts and bruises, a concussion and a few broken bones. The couple had no other family that were able to take care of the now orphaned young girl, and she was taken to a foster home. The memories of the accident haunted her, and she had night terrors regularly, waking up in a cold sweat and gasping for air. It caused her to withdraw, and she became quiet and reserved. She was placed into therapy to try and help her deal with the loss of her parents, and eventually she began to show signs of improvement. Art was one of the things that helped her to express her grief and loneliness, and she continued to improve her painting skills over the years as she used it as her main emotional outlet.

When Ji-hyun turned 7, she was adopted by an American couple. Knowing absolutely no English, Ji-hyun was terrified of leaving Daegu and her friends behind to go to a completely new country. She begged the adults in the foster home to not make her go, but they promised that she would be safe and have a happy life, and would have more opportunities in America then she would have in her home country. So, reluctantly, she moved to Rockford, Illinois with her new family. Her name was legally changed to Katie, but she continued to refer to herself by her Korean name.

But, things didn't turn out the way that Ji-hyun had been told they would. She was enrolled in school, but the language barrier proved to be too much. Despite having special tutoring in English, Ji-hyun couldn't seem to learn fast enough for her new parents liking, and they were disappointed in her. Thus began the neglect. Because they couldn't communicate properly, her parents began to ignore Ji-hyun out of frustration, adopting another child and spending all their time and affection on their new son. Her teachers soon began to notice that Ji hyun was turning up to school dirty and hungry, and called social services who then got involved. By the time she turned 8 years old, Ji-hyun was back in foster care, this time in Chicago.

The experience left his distrustful of other people, and she kept herself very guarded, not speaking to anybody about personal matters and never showing signs of any emotion unless she was safely locked away in a room by herself. Her faith in humanity was gone, and left her bitter and cold towards the world even at such a young age.

A year passed, and Ji-hyun settled back into the routine of a foster home, until one day a new couple came along. A few weeks after meeting them, the news came that the Whitner's were going to adopt Ji-hyun. Yet again, she was scared and dubious. In her head, before even going to the family, she was expecting it not to last long, so she was stand-offish with the couple and with their other adopted children, not wanting to form any connections out of fear that they would end up being severed in a short time.

It wasn’t until a few months into this new chapter that Ji-hyun finally realised that she was now in a safe and loving home, with people that cared about her and wanted her to have a good and happy life. The realisation came from such a small gesture on the Whitner’s part, but a huge one for her. They asked her what she wanted to be called. So, not wanting to completely lose touch with her birth name that had become her only sense of identity over the years, and the only connection she had to her biological parents, she chose the name Jennifer. Her parents agreed to her keeping her surname, using it instead as a middle name. Thus, Jennifer Ahn Whitner became her legal name.

Despite knowing that she was finally in a safe space, that didn't change the struggles that Jennifer dealt with during school. The Whitner's did their best to help her learn English, but the kids at school picked on her because she was different and because she couldn't communicate with them properly.

Nevertheless, Jennifer was very intelligent and excelled in all other areas of her education, and eventually she became good enough at English that she could hold a full conversation, thanks to her parent's consistent tutoring and support, and the help of her adopted siblings. Once she got to high school, language was no longer an issue, but her accent was still prevalent. Kids were cruel, and the bullying continued. This drove her to develop depression and anxiety, and she became withdrawn and quiet. Throughout her dark times, she carried on painting, finding solace in art. Yet again, she began therapy and threw herself into her studies, deciding that she wanted to become a veterinarian. She went off to college, and here she flourished. As she grew older, she became more confident in herself and her abilities, and finally started to develop a bit of a social life again. But, she still kept herself guarded, a defence mechanism that she just couldn't bring herself to let go of. It was hard for her to make friends because of it, but those who persevered and finally broke through her tough exterior are still close friends of hers to this day.

‏‏‎ ‎

PRESENT:

Recently graduated from veterinary college, Jennifer lives in her own apartment and works at a local animal clinic. She still keeps in contact with her foster parents, visiting them regularly and also maintaining strong relationships with her foster siblings.

She has continued on with her art, but only ever as a hobby. Her friends continue to push her to try and pursue it as a full-time career but she loves her job working with animals, and doesn't want to give that up. Despite that, she does commissioned work for people on the side, but because her job is so demanding already it's a rather rare occurrence.

‏‏‎ ‎

PERSONALITY:

At first, Jennifer can come across as rude and uninterested, but this is just her way of avoiding letting people get too close. It will take time to break down that tough, uncaring exterior she puts on, but once it's done, her true personality will come through. She can be volatile and insecure at times. She struggles to trust people and let them in, and rarely talks about her biological parents or her first foster family. The memories still haunt her from time to time, but she does her best to focus on the positives.

She returns to Daegu to visit her family as often as she can, and still speaks in her native tongue often, finally being proud of her Korean heritage and wanting to celebrate it rather than hide it to save herself from other people's judgement.

Her temper can change quickly when she feels vulnerable or threatened, and can be quite harsh when she's in a bad mood. She bears grudges for a long time, and if anybody upsets her she won't ever forget about it. She may forgive, but the relationship will never be the same again. At times she is also overly-sensitive, and small comments made can stick with her for a long time and cause quite a big impact on her, and leave her questioning her worth and abilities.

But, Jennifer is very compassionate. As seen from an early age, she has a very nurturing personality, and will look after anyone and anything that needs help. This quality is what makes her so good at her job - her caring nature and love for animals combined makes her a brilliant veterinarian.

With strangers, she can struggle to initiate conversations and it takes time to gain her trust, but once it’s done and she lets people see the real her, they will have a loyal friend and someone to lean on and be loved dearly by.

She is also incredibly tenacious, and once she puts her mind to something she will see it through no matter how difficult it may be at times.

Reassurance and small gestures of affection are her love language, both for herself and for others, so she will go out of her way to remind the people in her life how loved and important they really are.

‏‏‎ ‎

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

closest friend(s) - these will be the people she’s most comfortable around and can be completely herself with. they probably know a little bit about her past, but not the whole story

colleagues - fellow veterinarians, or other staff at the clinic

neighbours - she has her own apartment, so there’s a few options for neighbour type connections

ex-boyfriend - will have been during college years, can have ended on good or bad terms, could even still be feelings there if we wanna get real angsty with it

past hook-ups - again, probably during college years, can be awkward or not, i don’t mind

enemies - people that she doesn’t like or don’t like her, or someone from her past that did something to really upset her and she’s holding a grudge still

#hocintros

6 notes · View notes

hi-dread · 4 years

Text

Mirko x Reader

Foreword

This story is a fanfic of Boku no Hero Academia and the rabbit hero Mirko, also known as Rumi Usagiyama.

I chose to write it in first person, mostly because I want to add something to my life which I cannot get besides in my fantasy. I hope you enjoy reading this and do not find it cringe.

The following part of this, is just a bit backstory on me/the reader that will end up meeting Mirko. If you don’t care about the backstory (since it is pretty long) you can just skip it. Since my childhood, I always felt like that one kid in school that was always alone, even if they wanted to reach out for people. I did have a few friends that I hung out with at and after school. We usually played soccer whenever we had a lunchbreak or when we could do anything but assignments. I had a lot of fun (or so I thought), and when I had the time I would ask one of my “friends” if they wanted to play/hang out after school and most of the time they said yes. I preferred being at their house than at mine. I always felt awkward being home with a friend. Not that my mom or siblings were embarrassing in any way. I just didn’t have as many things as the friends I hung out with had. When we got to their house, we either played soccer in their backyard or played video games. Be it Call of Duty, Mario Kart or Sims. I was down for anything, even if I had to watch them play. I enjoyed my time being there. But as much fun as it seemed, I did not expect this to happen. I was persuaded into going to a soccer tournament since they lacked a few players, especially in the defense. I didn’t really have any high hopes for the tournament because I knew I would be lopped with the bad team and we lost 9 out of 10 games, if we were lucky that is. As I expected, we got destroyed in the first match with a whopping score of 0-23. The second game wasn’t as bad, but still quite a bit, since we lost that with a score of 0-15. There was a third game, but I am unsure if there was a fourth game. Well, that doesn’t really matter in the end since we lost in the end. When the entire tournament was over, my birthday came up. It was all nice and good, but a few days after that, I suddenly felt a severe stinging pain in my left foot. I didn’t know what it was, all I could say is that I hurt so bad that I couldn’t walk, so I had to lend some crutches from my cousin. As usual when something is hurting and it won’t go away after a week, I went to the doctor, they touched my foot and I nearly cry in pain. They send me to get an x-ray scan of the foot. Nothing showed up, so they sent me to the HR, which for those who don’t know what that is, it’s just a huge machine, making a lot of noise which will show pictures of the scanned object in a more detailed way. As I hoped it would show something, they said there was not anything wrong with the foot. At this the doctors were quite annoyed with my presence and my persistence of the pain in my foot. So, after 4 months of agonizing pain and a very bad start of a new school year, I was referred to a new hospital where they saw the old x-scan of my foot and showed me it. I could clearly see my foot was broken. They wanted to do a rescan of my foot to see how much it was healed and then they wanted to put a cast on it. I was happy they figured what was wrong out and that they helped me, but what was missing was my absence in school. Most of my classmates knew as much as I did, maybe less, but they kept asking me if they could use my crutches. I gave them permission. But there was also those who felt as if I were getting too much attention and even said to me that there was nothing wrong with my foot and I should stop walking with the crutches. As many would have thought, I thought the same; “how rude”. I shrugged it off.

Eventually, the cast would be taken off and I had to learn how to walk again. As I regained my mobility, I slowly lost my interest in other things. My social life slowly dwindled, and I stopped going to soccer since I felt it got too serious and I didn’t get anywhere (mostly because I was put on the losing team). One and a half year went by and I got into a new class. Everything seemed fine and I was in an association of runners and I ran a few times a week to keep up my physique. But as I was out running on a Sunday, my knee suddenly felt dull and painful. I must note I did not even run 500 meters. But as the pain grew, my mobility in my knee fell. It locked itself in place and I could barely bend it. I told the others I could not keep going and they should just go without me and I would go back to where we started. I limbed back, sat down, yet still having pain. A week went by, and I was forced back on crutches and I was unable to have anything on my knee because even that felt painful. Same deal as before, I went to the doctors, they scanned it. Both x-ray and HR, but nothing had any results. 6 months later my doctor referred me to a private hospital where the doctor, after a few ‘tests’ knew exactly who I should go to because he has dealt with patients with similar symptoms. After I met the new doctor, he gave me some meds and they worked for around 3 months. In the 3 months, I could wear normal jeans, walk, and run properly, but after those months went by, it was back to the crutches. I was hospitalized a month after the fallback and was in rehabilitation. I got some tasks I had to do to fix the pain, even though they didn’t make sense. They basically told me I had to rub my knee with a towel for 60 seconds 3 times with a 30-60 second interval. Long story short, it worked, and I didn’t have any pain after the 4 weeks at the hospital. Though, I was forced to take some medicine, but as long as I didn’t feel any pain and I could walk, I was happy. I finished school after one and a half years with decent grades. Nothing I could do much about since I am not the best at the oral exams, though I was happy with the results. I went to high school, hoping everything would turn out well, but the knee pain came back. I’d say I had a “great” start on high school if you ask me. Even though my mom was very concerned about my grades and how well it went at school, I somehow pulled through. Even the 3 years prior with an absence percentage of more than 50%. The only reason I could pull through these agonizing years was thanks to anime and manga. Since my knee pain would pull me out of school and tear apart my social life, even if I didn’t even have any to begin with, I felt some kind of joy with reading manga and watch anime when I could. Even though the first 2 years of high school felt like hell, I finished a few classes and got a better exam grade than some of my other classmates. It went well and as I was frequently going to a psychologist, reason being my knee pain (it’s mostly mental (think of phantom pain, then you’d understand, I hope)), but also because they found out I had suicidal thoughts. Even though I had those thoughts, I didn’t try to do anything since I had grown an anxiety for pain. But as I was going back and forth at the psychologists, they managed to find out I had a severe depression and might’ve had it for more than 6 years (at that point, I already knew I had a depression, but didn’t have the diagnose) and they also found out I had autism, not much, but enough to give me the diagnose Asperger’s Syndrome. I was fine with it, yet they didn’t give me many tools to deal with my depression, but I had my anime and manga, so I still had some hope.

Enjoy.

Chapter 1: What I desire

Well, now that we have that sappy story out of the way, we’re back to the present, where I am still dealing with a severe depression, not finding an end to it. Well, the pain I have in the knee has come back, but not as severe as it used to be. I go to the gym on a regular basis. It used to be 5 times a week, but my psychologist thought it would be best if I went there 3 times a week instead. Before the pandemic hit I would do a lot of stomach exercises and work with my knee, but after all the precautions, I can’t do many of them, so I chose to just run with a pace of 9 km/h or 6 mi/h for 20 minutes for the last 10, I’d increase it to 10 km/h. When I am done with that, I’d do some sit-ups and pull-ups for around 20 minutes. When I tell people that I go to the gym a few times a week, there’s always the follow up question “Then you must like it, right?”, but that’s actually not the case. I despise it, but I must do it, so I have been told, that is. The reason why I actually run for 30 minutes is because I watched the anime Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru (Run With the Wind). It seemed inspiring how they were running and the amount of fun they had with it, so I wanted that too. I envied the fun they had when they were running together. But thanks to the diagnosis – my Asperger’s – I cannot feel any human emotions, such as happiness, sadness, or anger. For me, I am just confused. But now I have a new goal for my workout. I have been reading Boku no Hero Academia – almost from when it was released – and have enjoyed it ever since. But one day, a certain hero was introduced. Yes, Rumi Usagiyama, the rabbit hero: Mirko. When she first appeared in the hero ranking right after All Might’s fight vs AFO, she has been on my mind a lot. Her cocky line, her daring attitude, and her epic hero entrance when Endeavor beat the first HE Nomu, give me goosebumps. The way she fights and how she is as a hero, always working to fight villains and to protect civilians, is something I look up to. She is my hero, and maybe my waifu. So much as I want merch of her. But don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that she’s out of my league and I am just a very unlucky kid, plus I live in a world where quirks don’t exist. She’s a fictional character and I am a person who reads Japanese comics for fun. But I can at least try to do my best to look fit and be in shape and prepare myself for what will happen next.

To be continued.

#mirko x reader #rumi usagiyama #mirko #rabbit hero: mirko #mha miruko #miruko #bnha miruko #BNHA: Mirko #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia

30 notes · View notes

angeliise · 4 years

Text

Day 3: I’d Choose You Again and Again

If somebody asked you to choose between me and someone else right now, would you choose me?

And would you choose me again, if they asked you 10 years from now?

Hinata looked up from the soggy ground. Hinata found herself sitting on the swings by the academy as the rain poured down on her every being. People would think she is crazy to be out in this rain in only a mesh shirt but… she didn’t have anything else to cover herself with.

Why?

She had been disowned by her father. She was deemed too weak to be the true successor to the Hyuga Clan. Her father had chosen her sister instead. Just when she thought her sensei had personally chosen her as a student, she found out that it was on the order of her father.

Her sensei had greeted herself as Kurenai and left shortly after, no question asked. Sigh. She was referred to the Hokage to find a new home and was given an apartment, which she had just moved into. She hadn’t met any of her neighbors but even if she did, nobody would pay her any mind.

The former heiress stood up and walked back to her apartment. When she was in front of the door, she lifted her head slightly when the door opened. She looked up to find obsidian eyes staring down at her, holding an umbrella.

“Why are you always wearing so little when it’s raining this much?” He asked. His tone was stern and monotonous, yet Hinata felt an ounce of care from his expression.

“Always?...” Hinata said in a low tone.

“The whole of last week, and now today.”

Hinata felt her eyes water again. This mysterious man had noticed her and been watching her since last week? The week she had moved into her new home. Hinata was again taken aback by his action when he tilted his umbrella so that it shielded her from the rain. Her bangs were completely soaked and plastered on her forehead, blocking most of her view. But one thing she would never forget were those obsidian eyes staring into her soul with the most care she had ever received from someone.

****

Hinata and Sasuke were walking alongside the pavement. It was the day they were going to be assigned into their teams. It was also the day she was going to do something she never thought she would have the courage to do. Though she knew she was with Kurenai, she didn’t know of the other members. She looked over at Sasuke for a split second. She hoped that she was going to be in the same team as him no matter what. Her and Sasuke had spent a lot of time together as neighbors.

She remembered when she was only eating ramen because she never learned how to cook in her previous household. When she fell over on her way from hunger, Sasuke had caught her and invited her to dinner. Although he berated her for not being able to cook he never complained about her crashing over for every supper.

During those times both Hinata and Sasuke had come to learn a lot about each other From their hobbies to their favorite foods to their birthdays and most importantly, their families. They bonded over their strict fathers and the unattainable goal of becoming like their siblings. Although that was it, it was enough.

It was enough for Sasuke because he had finally found someone that knew what it felt like to be inadequate. Although there was Naruto, Sasuke at least knew what it felt like to have a family. A mother. A father. A sibling. So did Hinata, which made for loads of inside jokes and lighthearted jabs at their clan’s persistence of upholding their images. As time went they became each other’s sparring partners and Sasuke was proud to have witnessed Hinata going from a reluctant fighter to becoming a competent opponent for him. But most importantly, she was slowly emerging from the depressive shell she was once in. He was glad about it for he did not want her to descend down the path he had when his clan was massacred.

Naruto’s voice sirened through their eardrums from afar. He was walking with Sakura, who was trying to hide her giggles. Though Sasuke knew that it was because Naruto was saying his name for every other word.

“Since when did-”

“Baka. Sakura would never fall for a guy like that.”

“Really?” It was in that moment she was proven right as Sakura looked away from Naruto and onto them. She shoved Naruto to the ground and enthusiastically waved over to them, more specifically Sasuke.

“Sasuke-kun!”

Sasuke sighed and looked away from the circus as Naruto called him out and was beaten by Sakura again. He looked at Hinata and smirked to himself while she still had her eyes on Naruto and Sakura.

Had he not met Hinata, Sasuke thought, then he would still be spiraling down the void of darkness that had consumed his mind ever since then. Her calm, gentle and kind aura had warmed him. He recounted the time she had invited him for dinner for once and was welcomed to a burning kitchen with Hinata desperately trying to put the fire out with a paper towel. Ever since then he knew…

He couldn’t trust her to be on her own.

He would make daily visits to make sure that she had not or was about to catch herself in fire or wring herself in her laundry and suffocate. He had taken it upon himself to teach her all the basic skills. It was those moments that helped him in opening up to her about himself and especially his past. Something he thought he would never feel comfortable talking about. The voice of Hinata brought him out of his thoughts.

“Huh? What did you say?”

Hinata embarrassingly looked away from his stare. Sasuke had gotten used to Hianta getting flustered out of nowhere. “I-I hope we get to be in the s-same team.”

Sasuke smiled at her and nodded in agreement. “Yeah.”

****

Hinata eyed the floor, trying to muster the tears in as Sasuke’s fangirls roared at the Iruka. She was sitting next to Sasuke and felt a twinge in her heart from not hearing her name in the same team as Sasuke. She twitched her head when she felt a nudge at her elbow. She looked over at Sasuke who had slipped her a note. She folded it open:

You still have something important to do, today.

She eyed him and he nodded at her with a tiny smile only for her. She smiled back at him.

****

The day was over and she was waiting by the swings. When she heard incoming footsteps she turned around and felt her heart rate increase. “N-Naruto-kun.”

“Oh, hey Hinata. So what did you want to tell me?”

Hinata fiddled with her fingers as she always did when she was nervous. She would never forget the times she would run into Naruto with Sasuke and how he would practically shove her in his face. He was always so supportive of her about her feelings for Naruto who he considered a doofus. Although she embarrassed herself every time, she had still gotten to speak with Naurto. She had gotten to know him pretty well and he with her. She had for the first time thought that she might have a chance. Especially when Naruto opened up about his feelings for Sakura and how she might not feel the same way and how he should give up. Hinata would have encouraged him to continue fighting but… Naruot deserved someone who loved him just as much.

“I-It’s j-j-just...” She stuttered. She could not find the right words and resorted to the question Sasuke had suggested her if she ever found herself in such a situation. She locked her eyes with Naruto with a determined look. “D-do you like someone?”

“Someone?”

“Yes, someone..” She said and watched as his face remained neutral as he thought it over.

The corners of Naruto’s mouth faced upwards into a huge smile. Hinata smiled back as he parted his mouth.

“Of course I do!” He started, making the butterflies in her stomach run amok. Was this happening? She might very well have a chance. Maybe. Maybe she- “It’s Sakura-chan!”

“Eh…”

“Don’t get me wrong but Sakura-chan is…” He was about to finish his sentence when two arms embraced him from behind. “S-Sakura-chan.”

“What are you doing over here? You promised to walk me home, didn’t you.” She giggled as she dragged him with her. She waved Hinata goodbye and the Hyuga watched them until they vanished from view.

The sun was setting and the rays of orange dawned on Hinata’s pale complexion. She had not moved from her spot ever since. And she couldn’t care to move herself. Just like always, someone else had been chosen over her. She really was hopeless, right? There was no way anybody would choose her over anything else? A person, a goal, an item. Everything else mattered but her! Ever-

“What are you doing sobbing over a doofus like that?”

Sasuke walked in front of her and wiped a single tear from her eyelash. He then cupped her face in his palms and wiped several tears that fought to slide down her cheek.

“Hinata.” He softly said.

Her silent whimpers turned into loud cries as her dry palms took over the tear cleansing. She just wanted to dry everything off. From her tears. To her cheeks. Her feelings. Her entire being!

“Hinata.”

“Sasuke-kun…!” She wailed. “If somebody asked you to choose between me and someone else right now, would you choose me?”

Sasuke smirked, making Hinata’s lips waver as she was scared that he would leave her too for how pathetic she was.

“What do you think?”

Hinata squirmed in defeat. Sasuke had his goal of killing his brother and restoring his clan. He wouldn’t have time for her as he got stronger. Sooner he would find a stronger partner to spar with. The sooner that happened, the sooner he would leave her. She didn’t want that. Sasuke had been her only source of happiness since she lost everything. Had it not been for him… who knows what she would have done with herself?

Hinata snapped out of her thoughts by the soft touch on her hand. It had been Sasuke who took both her hands into his and raised them up.

“Of course.” He said, looking into her eyes. “I would choose you.”

...

“Always.”

****

Those had been the last words of Sasuke Uchiha. Hinata unbound her hair and let it fall to her waist.

Yes. It had been 10 years since that time Sasuke told her that he would choose her over anybody else if he had the choice. She hadn’t heard anything from or of him since then for he disappeared without a trace. Naruto and Sakura have since then tried to bring him back. But everytime they returned, they came back empty handed.

Hinata sat by her antique and began combing her silky hair. Naruto and Sakura didn’t work out after all. She wasn’t particularly overjoyed. In fact, she didn’t care. For her heart had longed for someone else since they left.

She wondered whether Sasuke, in the time he has been gone, has found someone. Someone that he has chosen to restore his clan with. She sighed at the thought as it always brought a frown on her face. “Sasuke-kun…” she stared into her reflection. “Would you choose me again, if I asked you 10 years from now?”

Expecting no answer, Hinata lay the brush down. “You should already know the answer to that.”

Hinata gasped as she whirled in her seat to find him sitting on her window frame. His hair grew longer, his body more lean but that didn’t stop his abs from showing through his opened shirt. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down her face as she was standing before the man her heart had been waiting for and would continue to wait for until the day it stops beating. “S-Sasuke-kun.”

Sasuke leaned away from the window and made his way to Hinata, who in those 10 years, had become more beautiful than he ever thought was possible. When he stood right before her, he smiled at her.

“Hinata.” He said as he took her hands into his.

“Sasuke-kun…”

“I’d choose you again,” he leaned down to kiss her tender lips, “and again.”

@sasuhinamonth

#sasuhina #shmonth2020 #sasuhinamonth2020 #sasukexhinata #sasuke x hinata #day 3 #sasuke #hinata #hinata hyuga #sasukeuchiha

73 notes · View notes

megbox · 3 years

Text

2020 Year in Review

Previous Posts: (2019) (2018) (2017) (2016) (2015) (2014) (2013) (2012) (2011)

2020 is a weird year because as the world goes through something collectively extremely traumatic and that is radically changing the structure of our lives, our workplaces, the way we connect socially, our mental health… our response to disease…. SO MUCH ABOUT THE WORLD…. And yet the day-to-day of living in a pandemic is so… mundane. I am privileged enough to have that opinion. I have stayed securely employed and it is privilege for my main reaction to something as intense as this pandemic to be boredom. But really, 2020 was a year of absences. It was a year spent largely alone, in my own company. It was a year that forced me to rest. It was a year that made me feel so terribly lonely but also forced me to get acquainted with myself and enjoy my own company in a new way. And it was a year of running.

I would also like to thank Connor for making this post happen by reminding me to do it and not to break tradition.

January & February

I am combining these months because they were not altogether all that memorable. My resolutions, as I noted on Twitter on January 2, were to 1) Keep running and 2) Learn how to make fresh pasta dough. I can safely say – mission accomplished on both fronts.

On January 14, I had the privilege of presenting a suicide intervention lecture to students at the medical school where my brother goes. By that time, I’d done a million of these presentations so nerves aren’t really a factor (imagine that! Me, no longer remotely afraid of public speaking…), but this one meant a little extra to me. My brother is so highly accomplished, and I am so proud of him, and I enjoyed having an opportunity to show him what I do and make him proud of me. I wore my favourite dress and did my hair all nice and he described it later as “exceptional.” It was a really, really good feeling. The first weekend of February, Ali and I had planned to go to Jasper. We wanted to go for a hike or two, and get super stoned and go to the planetarium. A huge blizzard hit Alberta just before we were supposed to leave, so we ended up having a staycation here in Calgary. We rented a hotel room, went swimming, drank wine, went to Japanese Village, had drinks in the lounge and then later to a punk rock band roulette night at the Palomino and finally crawled into our giant hotel bed and fell asleep to Remember the Titans… of all movies. It was the kind of night where you simultaneously feel 18 and 35 years old.

March

March was when the pandemic really started to become real. I don’t know exactly why, but I did not take the threat of coronavirus very seriously until the last minute. My coworkers would whisper about it in the hallways and I just rolled my eyes. But then, people started deciding they would work from home, the number of us in the office dwindled. The vibe was bad. Nobody could really focus. They held meetings at 8am and 4pm every day just for COVID-19 updates and we all waited with bated breath for them to finally tell us to go home and not come back. I really feel like I didn’t acknowledge the true implications of this virus until we got the official work from home order, and I had to tell my boss, my laptop at home is too old to run this software, I need a work tablet. My first official work from home day was March 23, 2020. I don’t remember much about that time except that the general sense of panic and anxiety made my job a lot busier, and it is hard to do a job like mine from home because it is hard to counsel or reassure clients through anxieties that are hitting you just as hard. I coped with wine, a lot of running, and listening to Ben Gibbard’s afternoon live streams where he would play acoustic versions of Death Cab songs and other covers. He played New Slang by the Shins one night and I burst into tears. I also coped with teaching myself how to make fresh pasta dough, and enjoying what was, at that point in the pandemic, the novelty and fun of Zoom.

April

In the absence of being able to have a party for my birthday, I decided to be obnoxious and do a “challenge” on my Instagram story. I asked my friends to record a distance run and/or walked and send it to me as a birthday present. My actual birthday ended up being a cold and windy and pretty miserable day. I ran 12km myself, came back home and watched both Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL, and then went to my parents’ to celebrate both Scott and I’s birthdays with our family. My friends dropped off presents to my door and drove past my house and honked and I felt very loved and appreciated. I drank a lot of Prosecco with my brother and we listened to Kacey Musgraves.

It was also in April that I become “acquainted” with my neighborhood running nemesis. I put acquainted in apostrophes because I have never actually spoken to him. On one fateful run in April, I happened to catch up to him on my regular route. This was at the height of the COVID fear and so, while I would usually just pass someone on the sidewalk, I went out into the street. He saw me out of the corner of his eye and SPED UP. WHICH IS SUCH BAD RUNNER ETIQUETTE LIKE DUDE I’M IN THE ROAD LET ME PASS YOU. And then we ended up in this like, all-out 100m-finals-at-the-motherfucking-Olympics sprint challenge when all I was trying to do was go for a leisurely training run. And then I finally passed him, turned a corner and had to like collapse on to my hands and knees to catch my breath. Since then, I see this man running all the time. Sometimes while I am also running, sometimes from my car when I am driving through my neighborhood. He’s like… 16. And we are very competitive with one another. I hope to one day actually say hello to him. I both hate that guy and have to thank him for the motivation.

I ran my first half marathon on April 13, 2020. I was very hungover because I had stayed up quite late with someone on Zoom the night before on a virtual “first date” that had gone much better than anticipated. I don’t know why but I woke up the next morning in such a good mood that I decided I would go for a long, slow run. I got to 18km and figured, what’s 3.1 more? And so, I did it. The first thing I did upon finishing was call my mom. The second thing I did was contemplate calling an Uber to drive me the 2km left to my house. The other notable thing in April is that Maddy moved back from Australia, begrudgingly and a LOT earlier than planned, because of COVID.

May

May was kind of a blur. It was the first month of the Great Virtual Race Across Tennessee, which I signed up for while coming off of the high of actually running a half marathon all by myself. The GVRAT was fucking awesome. It was created by Lazarus Lake, of Barkley Marathons fame. The ask is to run 1022.68km between May 1 and August 31, an average of about 8.3km per day. Well, you could run, walk, or hike. This is the actual distance it would take you to cover the state of Tennessee. Myself and about 20,000 other weirdos from around the world signed up for this challenge. I figured I would never get a chance to run in a Lazarus Lake race for real, and being home all the time opened up a lot more opportunity for training. It was one of the very best things I did for myself in 2020. So May involved a lot of running, because I was fresh and naïve and fully intended to be ahead of the curve. I was running about 10-12 per day, sometimes more, and not taking any rest days.

In between these runs, I spent a lot of time going on long, ambling quarantine walks with Maddy. We would either go for a long walk or she would come over and we would get absolutely hammered in my backyard playing beer pong just to pass the time. We would send snapchats to our exes and make TikToks like 18 year olds. I know we never really said it out loud but having eachother during this time made these months bearable. We were lamenting the loss of a summer, and Maddy’s time in Australia, and all of the expectations we had for ourselves. We were watching our friends in relationships move in together or get closer due to the quarantine. We needed companionship, and stupid things to laugh about, and love, and distraction. And I can genuinely say I would not have gotten through this quarantine period if it weren’t for the nights I spent shooting Pink Whitney and dancing to Party in the USA in my living room with her.

May 13th was my one year anniversary of working at the university. It felt good to have accomplished so many things in that time, and have moved up already in my job, and to have a full-time, permanent contract.

And May 16th was when I ran my second half-marathon as part of a virtual challenge put on by a friend of a friend. My parents came and sat in lawn chairs in the park while I did loops. They cheered me on and filled my water bottle for me when I ran out. They’re my number one supporters and I love having a family that does that kind of shit for me in the face of something arbitrary like a virtual half marathon challenge. I knocked 7 minutes (!) off my original time. Amazing what not being hungover can do for your fitness levels.

June

I don’t remember many important things about June, other than Maddy moving to Banff. It was depressing but I was also happy for her and happy to have an excuse to go out there and visit. I went the very first weekend after she moved. Halfway through June I seriously contemplated quitting the GVRAT. My shins were bruised, I was dreading every single run, and I could not fathom doing it for 2.5 more months. I was dragging behind in the standings and losing my motivation.

I spent a lot of time with friends reading in parks. Sometimes, often, with wine. I met a stranger in Canmore Park and ended up kissing him. He was lovely.

Ali and I had one really good day in June where we went to the Farmer’s Market and then came back to her place and watched Ru Paul’s drag race for like eight straight hours. It was one of those days where we hadn’t seen each other in so long and you just feel totally high off of friendship and absolutely everything is funny and you just can’t stop laughing. I vividly remember it as one of the best days of the year.

July

Again, July kind of passed in a blur. I did a lot of hiking, and a lot of running… keeping up with the GVRAT. I hiked Picklejar Lakes, Castle Mountain, Little Beehive Lookout.

I went to Banff for a weekend to hang out with Maddy. We had a predictably wild weekend with her roommates and friends. We had dinner at Chili’s (hell yeah) and then went to High Rollers for beers and bowling. The “thing to do” at that point for all of these Banff people was to meet at the “rec grounds” aka public firepits and drink. The police would generally leave you alone so long as you weren’t being rowdy. I sat next to an Australian named Josh at a picnic table and later took him back to my hotel room and he gave me the world’s most unbelievable obvious hickey. Maddy and I sweat out the tequila shots the next day with a long ass hike, and then had a nap before her brother came and took us climbing at the Sunshine slabs – an activity I was not very good at but I wanted to be good at. It was the kind of weekend where you feel like, okay, I definitely indulged my wild side. And you drive home just like totally exhausted but smiling. I sent Maddy’s brother a voice note on my way into town thanking him for taking us climbing and saying it was nice to see him.

August

Okay – August was actually really eventful. Like most of the year’s events happened in August, honestly. A lot of running and hiking. I did Ha Ling Peak for the first time, and we did a 30km hike to Aylmer Pass one day that was a fricken GRIND. I spent the long weekend in Saskatchewan. We went to a cidery, and I ran laps around my Dodo’s acreage, and then we got to visit Wakaw Lake and reunite with our old next-door neighbours. We took the boat out and went tubing and lit fireworks and had an amazing dinner and honestly it was like reliving my childhood in the best, best, best way. I fell asleep on the car ride home.

I went camping with Ali in Sylvan Lake. We got ice cream and cooked fish tacos over the campfire. She told me that Cody had a date planned for the day they took possession of their house, that she wondered if he might ask her to marry him but didn’t want to get her hopes up in case it didn’t happen and ruin what otherwise was supposed to be a celebratory day. Spoiler – he did ask her to marry him  I was running when she called me. I was listening to Epsilon by Kygo, and now when I hear that song I always think of them. I stopped my watch and just openly bawled on the street out of happiness for them.

Steven successfully defended his master’s thesis. We went camping in Waterton to celebrate with Matt, Kennedy, Regan, Scott, and Rie. They brought cake. We did a sunrise hike. I slept in the back of my Ford Escape.

On August 27, Ollie passed away. It was both expected and unexpected. He had been having some issues with seizures. The vet didn’t think it was anything to be too concerned about, he was old and it wasn’t uncommon for them to happen. It happened suddenly. I had a terrible sleep that night, and woke up in a cold sweat somewhere between 3 and 4 am. In the morning, my mom called me and told me the news. He had a giant seizure in the night and was crying and yelping. They woke up and took him to the emergency vet, they made the executive call to put him down to prevent any further suffering. He died right around the time I woke up in the middle of the night. I like to think that was his way of saying goodbye, maybe. I cried all day. Well, let’s be honest, I cried all week. I burst into tears at the mere thought of him. He was such a good and lovely dog. He was so loved by us. He had a good life. It is always sad when we lose pets so early. They bring so much joy to our lives, and still when I go to my parents’ place the first thing I want to do is call for him or pet him. I hope he is running around in whatever the pet afterlife is. I miss him.

And on August 31, I ran my last kilometre of the GVRAT. I finished with 733.78 run, 83.18 hiked, and 205.09 walked.

September

September was a nice break from running. I got to start coming to campus one day a week, on Thursdays, which was good for my mental health and work productivity. I got to spend September long in Vernon with Maeghan and Madison at Michael’s family’s cabin. They took us boating and made us meals and didn’t judge us for drinking margaritas with Michael’s sister literally all day. It was the best. It was the epitome of every summer weekend you dream about. I was so happy I got to go.

I met a boy in September. It’s always September, isn’t it? It feels weird to write about him. Like, that makes him significant. But. He is significant. And I met him in September. And it was unexpected. Last minute. And essentially not a day has gone by since that day in September that I have not thought about him.

I also joined a Calgary Sport and Social Club team with my friends for softball and it started in September. We played two games and then I tore my hamstring running from second to third base. I tore… my hamstring…. Running like 30 metres…. After a summer of literally running 10+ km every day. I… it was the worst day ever. Softball itself was amazing and so fun even though I really do suck at the sport but highly recommend Rec League C-level beer league softball with all of your best friends. There’s just no way that isn’t fun.

October

A lot of pouting about my hamstring, I went to two physio sessions and then decided to just start running again. I’m bad. I’m a bad example. Don’t do what I do… but also…. It worked.

I went to Victoria to visit Sydney over the Thanksgiving weekend. We went to a Thanskgiving potluck party at my old coworker’s place. It was a nice experience to be the new people at a party, to have a room full of new people to meet and who ask you questions about your life. We got really drunk and they tried setting Sydney up with one of their roommate’s brothers, and gave us lipstick to try, and poured us tequila shots. We had such an amazing meal. It was honestly so fun. We laughed in the cab the whole way back about how we were going to need to debrief that evening HARD the next morning. We watched a lot of All Gas No Brakes, and went for dinner and brunch and I limped up Mount Doug with my hamstring. It was a very very chill weekend, like we spent a lot of time just lounging at Sydney’s apartment and doing nothing. Because that is the kind of friends we are. It was so relaxing and lovely. I was sad to leave.

Karla, my roommate, left for New York at the end of October. Her aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and she and her mom made the executive move to go there to basically be with her for the end of her life. She wasn’t going to be back until December. I was happy, because it’s nice to have a place to myself, but also sad because Karla is lovely and I knew it was going to be a stressful situation for her.

November / December

I am combining these two months because they have also been largely uneventful. In fact… I don’t know if I could really tell you anything significant that happened. We’ve been in a lockdown. I’ve spent my time playing piano, watching Netflix, listening to podcasts, basically doing all of the things I usually do when I’m bored. Lots of Among Us. Lots of outdoor things… skating… more running. We’ve been in a lockdown since early December. Time has dragged on since then. I spent Christmas with my parents. Scott and Rie stayed isolated, because Scott is in and out of the hospital for school. My mom and I watched shitty Christmas Hallmark movies and made fun of the guys who star in them. We drank a LOT on Christmas Eve and both spent Christmas with a wicked hangover. My dad and I ate edibles and I was launched into the stratosphere. I spent New Year’s Eve with Boy from September. We played beer pong, and card games, and he tried to use a coat hangover to pick the lock on the mysterious room that my landlord keeps locked. We spent most of the night kissing, honestly. I was happy to spend the last moments of the year with him.

2021:

Honestly... at this point... who really knows?

#year in review #text #personal #2020

10 notes · View notes