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ghostflowerhotpotch · 1 year

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Meet the Parents Part 2

Okay, once again, I rambled for too long and needed to do a second part. Sorry that this post is also coming delayed, real life stuff comes first.

Part 1 to be up to speed!

You know? Maybe it was for the best that the post got cut short, I realized of a small detail that didn't notice yesterday.

The sequence where this four frames are from last around a 1 or 2, I am not really doing this in any professional fashion so I cannot say the exact time; but it is pretty quick, even at half speed.

But you can see how for a moment, Gwen either realizes this is not going well, or drops the enthusiastic persona for a second. Either way, I think it shows that this is not going how she expected.

While Gwen hasn't heard enough to know it was a bad idea using their first names, I don't doubt that Miles talks about them fondly.

She got along well with May and Ben (I notice later that there are some flashbacks including Ben.) And that probably meant a lot to her because you can see how prevalent was the relationship between those families, eating together, talking, etc. Almost like a family.

I don't think Gwen would like to replace Peter and his family, but Miles is not a replacement of Peter anyways. She probably wanted meeting them (Even if I am sure she didn't want to have this meeting today,) would run a lot more smoother.

Because she knows Miles loves his parents, and they do sound like good people; she didn't even seem to think this could actually turn so awkward.

This moment just last a couple of seconds at best, so this goes fairly quickly.

And again, I am not saying this because I want to paint Miles' parents in a bad light; even if they are not giving a fair shot to Gwen, all things consider they are been extremely patient with Miles.

(I really need to do a post about that.)

Now going back to where we left it.

Oh this scene is so hard for me to see.

(Sorry, but DAMN the representation here; this didn't exactly happen to me, but similar enough that is giving me the most embarrassing flashbacks. No I am not saying this is an universal experience, just very painfully real to me.)

Okay, Miles' parents are being over protective here? Oh for sure.

While I think their actions are very logical and understandable once you remember they have no idea what Miles is doing; this is really the part where Rio and Jeff shows us they also need to mature in this movie.

And I don't say it as an insult; a lot of parents have trouble with this transition, and Miles is their first and only child; with said child suddenly not acting as the same kid anymore.

(Sidenote; I am surprised Miles doesn't have any siblings, Jeff and Rio look so in love I am surprised it didn't happen.)

I love how Gwen just takes her hand back, like "well damn I didn't even get a date with him and his parents already are telling me to back off."

Also oof, poor Miles. Honestly forget three months this is probably worse than that already.

Rio making that joke is painfully realistic and let's move on to the other part of that dialogue.

I think Rio and Jeff aren't just trying to establish some rules with Miles (considering the amount he has broken today,) but they also need to reaffirm themselves of being able to dictate what's going on Miles's life.

Again, this is coming just after they grounded him, and then he dipped out. They are feeling they are losing him.

I love Rio, I do, but ma'am this is how you get your kid to keep even more secrets for you.

Not much else to say here, this is the lesson she and Jeff need to learn. Miles is (probably) still hating being alive right now; and Gwen is somehow able to keep that composed face despite everything which has to be one of her most impressive feats in this film.

I honestly have to feel it for Gwen right now.

She probably knows the alert her watch is giving her is bad news, so she really doesn't have another choice.

Forget not making a good impression with Jeff and Rio, now she just lost her chance to have a decent goodbye with Miles.

At this point I don't think she would had admitted to herself this couldn't happen again, I think even now she hoped for another chance later down the line. But there is no idea to know when.

I have no idea what she would had said if she had the chance to say goodbye on her own terms, to his face; but it was certainly not what she ended up doing.

Girl, 3 years being spiderwoman and you can't still come up with good lies for situations like this?

Ok I cannot blame her for not being able to come with up with something better; this entire conversation was already not going well and now she basically needs to flee, which doesn't help.

Oof, look at Miles's face, he really looks so heartbroken here.

For all the awkwardness Gwen has sported during this conversation, this is among her most natural expressions; while she is probably not stranger for dipping early, I do think this is not how she wanted to leave.

Gwen really didn't want to leave, at least not leave Miles. While she couldn't really explain what was going on, I think she wanted to let him no that this isn't about his parents or him, she wouldn't be going out if she didn't have any other choice really.

Jeff hasn't really said much during this conversation, mostly having judgy stares at most, but you can see his expression become a bit more open once he sees Gwen's behaviour change.

Rio I think is trying to maintain a mask because she probably also caught on this looking a bit off, but also because is around here that she starts to realizing how much Gwen means to Miles.

I think is also around this point that Rio seemed to want to say something else.

She could just be trying to say goodbye, but I think her expression and her hand point out more than she actually wanted to intervene here.

I am pretty sure that regardless of how Jeff and Rio felt about Gwen, they didn't want to make her run away like that.

Because again, they are missing context; Gwen is leaving because the Spot flee and she just got herself into a mess, Miles knows this is related to spidey issues.

But as far as Jeff and Rio are concerned, this girl tried to be friendly (way too friendly for their liking but friendly nonetheless,) and is now running away after Rio decided to play Mother Hen.

(Sorry, that joke may not be understandable in english. Mama Gallina/Mother Hen is an expression used a lot in my country for moms that are very protective of their kids.)

Oh, this shot.

This is an interesting comparison because when Miles heard that Gwen was leaving, he looked so crestfallen; she could see it so did his parents but he didn't register the fact that it was so pain this was for him.

Gwen maintained a somewhat composed face to them, but on this shot that she is giving everyone the back, she looks so sad.

This, is basically their relationship in a nutshell. Miles wears his heart in his sleeve and can't help himself on it, and Gwen tries her hardest to keep her emotions at bay, but everything so often they creep back.

This is awkward, and it looks awkward, and this is really more into speculation territory than analysis, but I think she did it because she wanted to go for a hug, or similar.

I had mentioned in other posts how I believe Gwen is an affectionate person, or at least, someone who likes and seeks physical affection to those important to her.

The way she went to hug her dad both at the beginning and end show how much she craves affection; and how she barely contained herself before hugging Miles tells me not just that she probably has even less people to hug nowadays, but how much important he is to her.

But she probably doesn't want to upset his parents more, and his mom told her just a minute ago to basically leave Miles alone; so this was the best she could think of.

Nobody is really happy. Even Rio and Jeff are realizing how uncomfortable is Gwen; thought again, they are probably thinking this is all their fault.

This is really the moment when Rio and Jeff are probably realizing that whatever the heck is going on with Gwen and Miles, is important to them, or at least Miles.

Again, Jeff and Rio are worried, and they have no idea what Gwen's situation is, Miles mentioned she left town but they didn't even believe she existed prior this so they probably doesn't think that's case. Or even if it was, well, keeping contact can't be that hard in this day and age right?

(Sadly, Miles really needed to fall in love with a girl who to get in contact with you need technology from another timeline.)

Miles is 15, and they just met this girl, they couldn't imagine how much she matters to him, specially with all the secrets.

And here, is when Rio finally can let her own feelings aside for a moment, and see her actual son, and not the idea she has of him.

Of course, he is just staring at where she is at, no idea when he would see her again.

A part of me wonders, if he would had tried to go and say something else if his parents wouldn't had been here.

I really, do think Gwen wanted to say something else.

Now with all the context, it makes me so sad to see Gwen leave, and still have trouble to actually do so.

Because she knows this meeting wasn't suppose to happen, and she has no idea if she could ever repeat it or when. She has been so focused on Miles she completely neglected the mission, heck, she even neglected to keep an eye on the guy, which wasn't even so much of a fix for this situation.

You know? Something I kept thinking while analyzing this scene, is how is not just Miles struggling to keep a civial life and a spider life, Gwen is going to the same thing, or similar enough at least.

At this point, she has embraced the Spidey life, she literally has no other choice because she cannot go back home. Her life as Gwen Stacy was gone; being able to just be a carefree teen is left by the times she can be crashing at Hobbie's dimension, and even then, you see that is not enough.

In this sequence, she tries to go back to those patterns, like the camaraderie she had with May, or the jokes she probably shared with her dad's buddies.

But it doesn't go well, and her last moments with Miles were extremely awkward, and them discussing about the organization.

This all feels just like a bitter reminder, she can't be just a teen anymore.

Is a shame, because on the Clock Tower we basically confirm, that Miles was the only person that could make her feel that someone was seeing her for all her. To combine those two worlds she belonged.

But she can't have that now, just like she believes, she can't have Miles.

#ghostflower #gwiles #gwen stacy #miles morales #atsv spoilers #rio morales #jeff morales #across the spiderverse spoilers #across the spiderverse #ghostflower files #will reblog this tomorrow to a decent hour lolol

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takerfoxx · 4 months

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Okay, finished up season 1 of Chaos Theory. And as you might imagine, I have THOUGHTS!

Non-spoiler review: it's really good.

Spoiler review...

Damn.

Like, this was actually great. Sure, I clown on the Jurassic World movies for being shit and have done so for nearly a decade now, but if this is the sort of content that spins off from them, then by all means, keep making those shitty movies. Of course it's not perfect, there's things to nitpick, but that's true of just about everything.

Okay, lots to talk about, so let's go into things bit by bit. Starting with...

Brooklynn!

Yeah, of course she's not dead. Like, did anyone honestly think that there was the slightest possibility that they would actually kill off one of the campers like that? As soon as I heard "Brooklynn's dead," my thought was, "Lol, no she isn't. She'll be dramatically revealed to be still alive in the final scene." And wouldn't just know it!

Still, there is a lot to discuss with her. We all know that she isn't really working for Mantah Corp or the Broker (more on them later), and is probably doing her investigative journalist thing to try to bring down the dino black market thing from inside, and was prodding Daniel Kon for information, and all that jazz. I imagine that this will get expanded on in the next season. However, I didn't see her losing a hand coming. So, she didn't deliberately fake her death. I guess she barely got away after the Allosaur or maybe the raptors bit her hand off and Ronnie found her and rescued her, and now she's in hiding.

However, just because she's not dead doesn't mean that she didn't die. And by that I mean her friends (and I presume family) all genuinely believe that she really did die, and have had to deal with the grief and trauma and try to process it in their own ways.

And honestly, that's what I loved the most about this season, how frankly and maturely it tackles the topic of grief and trauma. It's clear that everyone was deeply affected by losing Brooklynn, and I love how seriously this show takes things.

Darius.

Starting with our man, Darius is very much not okay. Well, none of them are, but he's definitely taking the atoner route to dealing with his grief. He feels immense guilt for not being there for her and blames himself for her death, so he quits his job and throws himself into hunting down the Allosaur as a way of redemption. He doesn't talk to his family unless they actually manage to get him on the phone, he doesn't talk to the other campers, but he does call Brooklynn's cell phone on the regular just to hear her voice as a way of coping. Like, usually the leader-type main character is supposed to be the one with his shit together, so I love that the show allowed him to be shown in such a vulnerable state.

Ben

Goddamn, Big Ben is right. Talk about the shooting up like a fucking palm tree.

Anyway, it's fitting that the boy who was raised to fear everything would transfer fall deep into paranoia and conspiracy theories as his own way of coping. Like, sure, he overcame the fears he had at the start of Camp Cretaceous, but that sort of ingrained behavior doesn't go away. And sure, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you, and he is right, but the show also take time to show that it is still an unhealthy way of coping, with him jumping at shadows and being convinced that everyone is in on the conspiracy, even going so far as to suspect Sammy.

As for the girlfriend in Europe thing, this might be just a set-up for a joke where she get revealed as being real (maybe the ship will take them to her or something), but a lot of people are justifiably calling bullshit (notice that we never get any details about her?), and, like in the last show, suspecting that he's actually gay. And yeah, I definitely see it too, and wouldn't be surprised. That being said, part of me is actually kind of, sort of hoping that we get Ace Ben instead.

Look, as someone on the aro-spectrum (not exactly ace, but it is related) and has sarcastically made up girlfriends in the past just to get my family to get off of my back, it would be nice to have some more characters like that, though I do see how that would be harder to portray than someone who's gay.

Okay, moving on.

Kenji

It's funny that a character that I was actively hoping would get eaten when I first started Camp Cretaceous because of what an annoying douche he was has now evolved into my favorite. Hmmm, someone with father issues who struggles with resentment and feelings of betrayal. I wonder why I empathize?

It's obvious that despite breaking free from Daniel, Kenji still feels the need to prove himself to him, even in a negative way, hence the whole rock climbing business. And honestly, I don't blame him for being mad at Darius. And you know what? I'm so glad that the show made it so he was the one who broke up with Brooklynn and not the other way around. Teen dramas like this usually have one character who's the designated "wrong one" who has to learn the lesson over and over again, and given that he started off as an arrogant jerk who needed to be humbled, it would have been easy to lock him in that roll, but no, he was allowed to fully mature and become sort of the moral voice of the group, with Brooklynn being the one who let him down. Granted, she was probably preoccupied with her dino smuggling investigation, but even so, I'm glad that they didn't do the lazy thing and have Kenji be the one who's always wrong.

And dear God, that scene after Daniel's death where he just breaks down on the side of the road? Magnificent. In...a really tragic sort of way. Like, what a naked expression of grief. He knew that his father was a terrible person who he tried so hard to escape from, but that didn't change the fact that it was his father, who he spent his entire childhood looking up to!

Now, about the love triangle thing between him, Darius, and Brooklynn, I admit I'm not too hot on that, mainly because I hate love triangles. But it does sort of make sense for Darius to develop feelings for Brooklynn, and she and Kenji had been broken up already, and it's an interesting take to have the person that the other two desire actually be "dead" already, so instead of them competing over her, it's more about these two friends who fell apart coming to terms with their very complicated feelings regarding her and each other. It's a fresh take on a tired cliche.

Sammy

If Darius is guilt-ridden, Ben paranoid, and Kenji resentful, Sammy is in straight-up denial, relying on toxic positivity and endless distractions to keep herself from falling apart. Her abandonment issues are in full force, not only with Brooklynn's death, but also growing apart from Yaz and not knowing why, and I also noted that her parents are nowhere to be seen. It may be nothing, but a queer girl in rural Texas? You kind of know how that tends to go. She is someone who will go to great, sometimes morally ambiguous lengths to keep her family together, but now it's falling apart around her, and she feels helpless to do anything about it.

Yazmina

Leave it to Yaz to be the one to say, "Hey, I'm heavily traumatized! I'm going to get therapy!" And you know what? Another thing I really like about this show is that it goes more into depth on what the world would be like if dinosaurs are suddenly on the loose everywhere, even more than Dominion did. Like, there's one blocking a gas station. There's a shitty Tiger King tourist trap with poorly taken care of dinosaurs. And there's a therapy compound for people traumatized by dinosaurs.

And Yaz, someone who really struggles with fear and self-esteem, is not only there for her own sake, but also working on projects to help others with the hologram thingie. I guess her injuries on the island meant that running wasn't really feasible anymore, so she found a new calling.

As for her and Sammy, okay, I am so glad that they didn't drag out the issues between them and instead got the fight out early. And I love how it was handled. Like, neither of them were really the bad guy or the innocent one, they both made mistakes but had understandable reasons for making them. Like, Sammy can be a bit...much, and after losing Brooklynn, it makes sense that she would get really clingy and smothering, which Yasmina did not need. But by the same token, she did sort of cut Sammy out of her life and left her to spiral. It's a very human approach to them having relationship problems.

Bumpy

Okay, just putting this here because Bumpy is best girl, and she now is a mother. Lol. We're definitely getting baby Speckles in a season or two. But do my eyes deceive me, or was Speckles one of the eggs that Jensen had?

The Atricoraptor Handler

Okay, I really want to talk about her, because, my queen!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's meant to be creepy and threatening. Uncanny valley, never blinks, never speaks above a whisper, heartless killer, I get it. She's a bad guy.

I still love her.

Why? Well, I know it's not exactly a deliberate or positive take, but they kind of, sort of ended up with an autistic-coded character who loves raptors. I can't help but connect.

But yeah, most of show, I was scared of her like everyone else. She's just so...off, and so intimidating. But then we get to that last scene, when she's about to sic her raptors on the campers again, only to notice how injured and fatigued they are, and instead decides to call off the attack for their sake (the raptors, I mean. Not the campers), and even comforts the one closest to her. And that's when she won me over.

Look, as much as I love JP, it really rankles me how the raptors always seem to become disposable mooks. I love raptors, and feel that they deserve more. Like, does no one remember the raptor nest scene from the original book? All the other dinosaurs often get sympathetic portrayals, even the carnivores, so why are raptors, which canonically are intelligent creatures with complex family units, often just end up as serial killers with claws to be exterminated? As much as I bash the JW movies, the one thing I do love is Blue, and even she had her siblings all wiped out!

So, throughout the finale, I knew the campers would be okay, but I kept saying, "Don't kill the raptors. You're gonna kill the raptors, aren't you? Please don't kill the raptors." And then it looked like the Rex did kill them, and I rolled my eyes. Here we go again.

But then they turn up alive and the Handler just shows them that sort of affection? My QUEEN! Yes!

Yes, I know she's still evil, but no one else is doing it!

Now, is she a raptor/dinosaur hybrid? A robot? Just sort of like that? I'm hoping that she's just a weird human who raises raptors, but a human/dinosaur hybrid has nearly popped up in the scripts, and human clones are canon, so who knows?

The Broker

Let's face it: the Broker is probably either Dodgson or someone who works for him. We finally got him in the final season of Camp Cretaceous, and since this show takes place right before Dominion, it makes sense that BioSyn would be behind everything. It's the only established character that makes sense.

Though, hey, wouldn't it be crazy if it ended up being Ian Malcolm as part of his cover? Ain't gonna happen, of course. But it would be really funny.

So yeah, really good show, ranks up there on the list of my favorite JP things, can't wait for the next season.

#jurassic park #jurassic world #camp cretaceous #chaos theory #darius bowman #ben pincus #kenji kon #sammy gutierrez #yasmina fadoula #brooklynn #atrociraptor handler #review #chaos theory spoilers

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ttccprojectoverdrive · 4 days

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Time for some general info about each Manager!

Here’s an important note going in: in this world cogs are born either the natural way (which surprises toons because they didn’t realize that toon and cog reproduction wasn’t all that different) or are commissioned to be built using their parents genetic material/coding

William Boar

Late 30’s-early 40’s, bi trans man, white boy, autistic, shares a dad with Desmond but different moms since Will’s mom passed away before his dad remarried to Desmond’s mom, dating/eventually marries Rain and has what’s (to their knowledge at the time) the first documented cog/toon hybrid post main story, daughter is named Olive and she's more cog than toon

Buck Ruffler

Mid-late 30’s bi man, Chilean, AuDHD and (family inherited that manifested after the stress caused by his failed toon up) Schizophrenia, mom is still alive but dad passed away, married to Dave and has one daughter with him whom they commissioned to be built named Gliss (short for the piano term Glissandro)

Brian (Monarch but shhh he doesn’t put that last name in his records bc of their secret shady dealings)

Early to mid 40’s, bi man, white boy, Autistic (I plan to potentially add more considering what he does in the story so I wanna see if more than just autism explains his behavior besides psychopathy) mother is alive but dad “mysteriously “ died, has a lot of siblings and he’s one of the youngest, married to Ben and they commissioned a daughter together whom they name Chime

Misty Monsoon

Mid 30’s, bi demigirl, Afro-Hispanic, AuDHD OCD and Bipolar, mom is a single mom, marries Mary and Holly and I plan to give them at least two bubbies (kids)

Mary Anna

Mid to late 30’s, Filipino, AMAB intersex bigender bisexual individual who uses he/she, has a mom and dad and a few siblings, married Misty at first and eventually maybe Holly too if the two develop feelings for each other lol, has a kid with Misty

Holly Grayelle

Mid to late 30’s, British with a medieval inflection, bisexual woman, Autistic, has a mom and dad and younger brother, marries Misty first then maybe later Mary too, has a kid with Misty

Alton Crow

Early 40’s, Texan white boy, bi man, AuDHD (which means autistic and ADHD btw), comes from a big family, is married to a buff and tall cow based cog lady and has a son and daughter with her

Prester Virgil

Late 50’s to early 60’s, cishet, white boy, Depression and PTSD, comes from a big family, is a struggling divorced dad to his one daughter whom he eventually gives custody of to Chip and his partner after situations that cause Prester to realize he’s not mentally well enough to be a father

Winston Charme

Early 80’s, cishet, white boy (subject to change may make him and Dana black), possibly AuDHD with a form of Dementia and PTSD, only living relative is his great niece Dana whom he ends up in the care of after a legal case between the ye olde toontown elders and the lawbots

Benjamin Biggs

Early 40’s, bi man, British, OCD in the forms of obsessive love and organization and possible either sociopathy or psychopathy (still working out that one), mom and deceased dad, married to and has a kid with Brian

Cathal Bravecog

Mid 20’s, pan demiboy, white (subject to change though I’m tempted to make him half asian from his mom’s side) might also make him autistic but idk, divorced mom and dad, honestly haven’t put much thought into him yet but I wanna maybe give him a partner

Dave Brubot

Mid 30’s, bi man, Haitian/Brazilian/Italian, AuDHD, has a mom and dad and four younger siblings, married to and has a kid with Buck

Belle Dama

Early 70’s, cishet, white (possibly subject to change but I also kinda want her to be an ally white grandma who doesn’t like any form of discrimination and will give you hugs and cookies if you need it), possibly autistic but idk, comes from a big family, widower with several children and grandchildren, eventually dates Cosmo

Cosmo Kupier

Early 70’s, cishet, Italian, comes from a big family, widower whom can’t have kids so his mob is going to his henchmen when he dies, eventually dates Belle

Flint Bonpyre

Mid 30’s, bi demiboy, Afro-Venezualan, Autistic and General Anxiety Disorder, two moms, married to and eventually has a kid or several with Graham

Chip Revvington-Campbell

Early to mid 40’s, bi man, white boy, Autistic and PTSD, adopted by Spruce’s family when he was very young but has since regained contact and is friendly with his bio mom, dating/married to and eventually has several kids with his assistant Bubblegum Pop along with their adopted child from Prester named Nixie

Spruce Campbell

Mid to late 40’s, pan man, white boy (Scottish mostly), comes from a big family, thinking of giving him a partner eventually

Tawney C. Esta

Mid 60’s, genderfluid heteroasexual, tempted to make them either Mexican or Hispanic or from another Spanish speaking country bc of how their name is a pun for siesta, comes from a big family, wife but no kids

Graham Ness Payser

Mid 30’s, bi (male leaning) man, mixed (mom is white dad is black, his older sister looks more black than he does and it’s a running joke that she took all the melanin leaving Graham looking white) ADHD and Narcissistic, has a mom and dad and an older sister, married to and eventually has one or several kids with Flint

Desmond Kerosene-Boar

Early 30’s, bi man, white boy, half brothers with Will, in a poly relationship with Buck Wilde and Dana and whom I may eventually give three kids

Buck Crow Wilde

Early 30’s, bi man, Texan white boy, Alton’s cousin, in a poly relationship with Desmond and Dana and whom I may eventually give three kids

Dana S Charme

Early 30’s, pan genderfluid, white (subject to change), Winston’s great niece, in a poly relationship with Desmond and Buck Wilde and whom I may eventually give three kids

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askbensolo · 1 month

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She finds my hair so fascinating, when to me it's so ordinary. She likes to weave her fingers through the strands and twirl my curls around and braid it when I'm not paying attention. And sometimes she just comes up behind me and starts scratching my head with her fingertips, and I don't know what it is, but I freaking melt, like an ice cream sundae left outside in the sun. Like...that must be what sex feels like. Seriously. If sex isn’t as good as, or better, than head scritches…well, then that is such a ripoff and I will be speaking to the manager about that.

And if it is…then, uh…well…heh.

But…maybe I shouldn’t speak too soon.

She did it last night—the head-scratching thing—and it started out fine. (By “fine” I mean, it felt so good I would have committed murder for that girl.) But then…for some reason…it brought back this memory of me, lying in the dark with Snoke, my head on his lap, while he stroked my hair and whispered to me, and suddenly…it all felt wrong. I felt something like a rock sink to the bottom of my gut, and I went all stiff, and her touch was driving me crazy (in a bad way this time) but I didn't know what to do... I tried to make the good feelings come back, but they wouldn't anymore. And I felt like something bad would happen if I told her to stop.

It's not her fault. She didn't know. I mean, she wouldn't know. Not unless I told her, which I couldn't, because I felt trapped. Trapped and forced to sit there and let myself be touched. I felt myself start to drift away from my body, like I used to do when Snoke would inspect my thoughts—

And I couldn't believe it, how something that had felt so crazy good before now felt so horrible, like being tortured, like my insides were filling up with poison that I had no way to excise, like I was watching myself be eaten alive—I was literally starting to break out in a sweat, moisture prickling through my pores—

And I tried to tell myself, Chill, you idiot, it's just Fannie. You know, that girl you like? She's not the one who hurt you. She likes you. She's flirting. It's supposed to be cute. It's supposed to be hot. It's supposed to feel good. It felt good before. But typical Ben—that bantha-brain never kriffing listens.

Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore because I was honestly perceiving a non-negligible chance that I might become violently ill so I just stood up abruptly and gave her an awkward little hug and pretended I had business to attend to in the bathroom, but really I just sat on the edge of the tub for a while and white-knuckled the fiberglass and tried to wait out my nausea. And it was so awful; even though I was finally safe and all alone I could still feel fingers combing through my hair—and I didn’t know whose fingers I was imagining them to be.

And I thought, wow, cool, now here's a preview of my life probably, if I choose to go down this path of letting someone in, I guess. Cool cool cool. Am I gonna have to go back to therapy for this? For sex stuff? And that wasn’t even anything—she was just playing with my hair. How much worse would it be for me if we were—you know? I’ve been in therapy before, for depression, and anxiety, but—for sex? Ew. Embarrassing. Disgusting. I’d rather die. Stupid me. Hate my life. I should’ve just stayed asexual.

And of all the reasons I have to hate Snoke, and all the things he’s taken from me…I can’t believe that now, after everything he did when I was sixteen and seventeen, years later as a twenty-three-year-old man I also have to say that he took away my ability to enjoy being with a woman I’m attracted to. I didn’t even think I could be attracted to anyone for so long, and now I am—will wonders never cease?—except oh wait—surprise trauma, I can’t kriffing stand to be touched, even by someone I like more than anyone. And maybe that’s worse than not liking anyone at all. Because now it’s not just an aversion, it’s kind of a longing and an aversion at the same time, the good and bad feelings all mixed together, the really really good and the really really bad all at once, which is its own special little psychosomatic torture, and I almost wish the box had stayed closed and I’d never learned I could feel things so so good and so so bad—and that’s not even getting into how it makes me feel like I’m not a man, to be so scared of something I’m supposed to want—to not be able to respond to her the way I’m supposed to—and ARGHH I hate myself I HATE myself I HATE myself UGHHHH

#askbensolo #written #ben and sex

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julewolfstar · 4 months

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i had an idea (i know, surprising /j)

basically, in my universe, Actor sort of saved Bean from the other Septic egos, and after a while they started dating.

now, another idea is that for whatever reason (for the plot) Benjamin is also affected by the manor. he's spent a few years almost non stop in there, so it makes enough sense, after all, we don't know how long someone actually has to be exposed to the manor for it to do its thing.

so. Ben's been living his life, and he finds out Actor is still alive. obviously, he hurries back to the manor. he finds him alive and well... and with a boyfriend. which ruins all of Ben's plans to confess and stuff. well, Mark still takes him in as his butler again.

at first, Benjamin doesn't really like Bean. he hides it well enough that Actor doesn't realize, but Bean does. he doesn't say anything to Mark though, since he can see how happy he is to have an old friend around.

and yada yada, whole journey to get to know each other and realize they're both important to Actor, and bam, eventually they're a throuple.

and then they're all surprisingly jealous (not of each other ofc) and overprotective

Ben glaring at whoever dares bother Actor/Bean while slightly towering over them

Actor very subtly using his powers to scare people away from his boyfriends

and Bean just straight up goes feral /hj (no, because he'd act unhinged and insane until the people are running away, maybe not to the extreme, but they'd be really uncomfortable at least)

also, here you go, height difference chart

Ben's the only one actually getting things done in the house because

a) Actor and Bean are both too squeamish to clean up anything beyond a certain level of dirty

b) they get too easily distracted by simple things, and are pretty forgetful

c) neither Bean nor Mark want to get up in the morning, Ben's the only one who gets up at a "reasonable" hour

d) honestly, there's just a lot lol

and i really wanna write that but i'm gonna have to get one more friend on board (the other agreed)

i roleplay with my friends as god intended, not stupid chat bots

#markiplier #markiplier egos #actor mark #wkm #jse egos #jse #bean #benjamin the butler #antisepticeye

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snaplight-anxiety · 7 months

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okay just finished never say die and honestly….. not canon to me. trying to sort out my thoughts here so

The writing style feels different and also worse. like more childish? tbh might all be in my head bc I know it’s newer but still. I’ve been binge reading the series so it’s not like I took a huge break between it and Scorpia Rising and i just don’t remember

Definitely feel cheated out of the Scorpia Rising ending, I think that’s a popular opinion. It was this perfect culmination of the series and Alex’s story and then… WHAM all of that disappeared. I was honestly hoping that Jack wouldn’t be alive and the messege was a trick (even though I love Jack) bc it could’ve been this thing where Alex was forced to confront his grief and stuff. But no.

I started reading the series last year and I was very excited to see there were new books and that it was being continued bc I was really enjoying it so… very disappointing. Definitely would’ve been better and more impactful if he left it.

Going back to Jack’s death and the erasure of Alex’s trauma…. what WAS that. Like Alex killed Julius point blank and that was never brought up again. There was a line that was literally like “he would be okay again if Jack was alive” What. It seemed weirdly disrespectful of Alex’s character? If that makes sense?

Lwk their reunion was sooo anticlimactic. Where was the DRAMA the SOBBING the i have to touch her at all times to be sure she’s real. guys.

Retconning Ben Daniels to Wolf. Bad and should not have been done I hope that’s fixed.

Changing Ms. Jones’ character? Wtf? She was totally against Alex being brought in and did not want to manipulate him like Alan Blunt and then… what. They could’ve at least made it interesting? Like play into what Blunt was saying at the end of Scorpia Rising abt the job and sacrificing morals and such. She seems so cavalier about it.

Where is Smithers 😭😭. I feel like he was written off the show bc the actor didn’t want to be there but it’s literally a book series there are no actors. Did Horowitz just get tired of writing him???? I miss you king

Pretty sure zero mentions of his friends in london. Not super surprising but Tom I promise I didn’t forget you

feel free to add on w your views I’m curious about how other people reacted/accepted it

#alex rider #alex rider never say die #never say die #rambling as i do #jack starbright #ben daniels #tulip jones

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timelordcapricorns · 9 months

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Expectance (Dr. Animo x reader)

Quick note; not a single romance based fanfic about the most iconic Ben 10 villain has ever been made anywhere. So, with the help of @kingsleychizzard & the fact that I also think he’s kinda cute, here’s the very first! Reader is female. -Corn Puff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was supposed to be a normal day for you, you were off work today & had plans ready for the entire day. However, that changed quickly when you were snatched off the street by some frighteningly large cockatiel. How it managed to get the size of an airplane was beyond you. Before you could process the fact that you’d easily be dropped in one wrong move, you were brought into a random abandoned building & dropped onto a table. Shackles were instantly locked around your wrists & ankles before the table was leaned forward. Great, now you felt like Frankenstein, except you were alive.

“Perfect. Now I can properly test my latest invention.” that voice sounded way too familiar for you to not notice. Looking towards the source of said voice, you saw a man who looked old, but you got a glimpse of his face & were shocked.

“Aloysius? Is that really you?! You look awful, what happened during the last 5 years?” your voice made him freeze. When he looked back at you, it was obvious that he couldn’t believe it.

“(Y/n)? My old lab partner? The one who left me all alone because the news of my work left her full of hatred? The one who threatened to file a restraining order against me if I tried contacting her again?” his voice went from surprised to angry. Wow, 5 years & he instantly brings that up.

“Aloysius James Animo, you were doing incredibly cruel & unethical things to those poor animals! I should’ve slapped you when I had the chance.” you spat. He stomped up to you, but there was the slightest trace of hurt in his eyes. That was odd, his egotistical nature prevented him from feeling such things.

“Shut up.” he snarled. You stared at each other for a few seconds before he suddenly grabbed your face & kissed you. It was warm & passionate, filled with love, something you were sure he could never feel. It was so intense that you actually kissed back, but he pulled away soon after.

“You isolated me, it really hurt. I couldn’t bring myself to go outside partially because of you. The other part was because of what happened with my work.” he said as he undid your shackles. When you were free, you glanced at him & noticed that he actually seemed quite upset, his eyes fully displayed hurt now.

He walked away & sat at a desk, instantly putting his head in his hands, something he always did when stressed. What were the chances of you being reunited after what happened? Feeling the slightest bit guilty, you walked over to him & rubbed his back. He barely reacted, so it gave you time to think. All the times you actually hung out together, how gentle he always was with you, & then you remembered his face the day you left. He looked devastated, almost as if everything he cared about was erased. That’s when it clicked.

“Did you… love me?” you asked. He groaned in frustration & put his head down as the faintest blush appeared on his face.

“I still do, that’s the problem.” he mumbled. This whole situation just got incredibly awkward. You tried rubbing his back again, but he got up & just stood over you. The proximity certainly made you uncomfortable, but you couldn’t seem to back away.

He cupped your face & gently rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs before leaning in to kiss you again. Oddly enough, you wrapped your arms around his neck & deepened the kiss. This prompted him to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you closer. For the first time ever, you realized that he was rather broad & seemed to be well built. Your mind was then snapped back to the kiss when he licked your bottom lip. You honestly thought he’d be forceful, but he was actually being a gentleman & patiently waited for your permission. You allowed him to turn the kiss into a french kiss & your heart nearly melted from the sensation. By the time you pulled apart, the tiniest strand of saliva still connected your mouths, making you blush.

“I guess that means you love me too?” he teased. You simply responded by burying your face in his chest & hugging him. He chuckled & hugged back, clearly pleased with the display of affection.

#ben 10 #aloysius animo #dr animo #reader insert #female reader #romance #awkward romance #very first fic about aloysius animo on tumblr #he’s so under appreciated

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incorrect-crossover-quotes · 1 year

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None of the group wants to believe Ash.

Ash was basically the little brother that they all wished they had. His smile was infectious, he would (and did) give a complete stranger the clothes off his back, he's funny, he's completely dorky in the absolute best ways. Sure, he is a little oblivious at times, but everyone found it appealing!

That's why when Ash said that he had died multiple times, the entire conversation came to a screeching halt, and ice was flowing through their veins for a brief moment.

Kim was stunned as she tried to imagine what could have possibly happened to this ray of sunshine in front of her. Ash's world, despite the superpowered monsters that practically co-run it, was fairly calm from what she's seen. She simply couldn't comprehend any situation arising that would put him in that much danger. Sure, there were those three Team Rocket guys, but Ash already shown that they are basically an annoyance to him by now, so it couldn't be them. And to think, he said it happened MULTIPLE TIMES!

Steven went pale upon the discovery. Not only because he's had enough of the people he loves being put into danger. Not only because he sees Ash as precious and must be protected. It's also because he's surprised by how casually Ash brings it up. Steven still gets woken up in cold sweats by some of the things that happened to him and his friends throughout his life. If he had a nickel for every time someone got hurt and Steven blamed himself, he would have enough to pay for therapy. Yet, here's Ash, big grin on his face, petting Pikachu without a care in the world, casually mentioning that he has died a bunch. Steven is simultaneously jealous of Ash's ability to shrug that off, and terrified by it.

Ruby immediately began to rapid fire question him, and check him for injuries that she never would have thought he had. The vision of Ash dying isn't something she would ever want to see, yet it was playing in her mind over and over again. She knew Ash, so she knew that he probably almost died during some selfless act of heroism before he could even answer any of her questions. She has had enough of her friends dying that way. If it was anyone else, she would have tied them up and kept them in a locked room where nothing bad could ever happen again. However, this was Ash. If she tried that, he'd probably just escape and be right back to doing what he was doing.

After the initial shock, Ben was mostly just impressed. He had died and came back a time or two, but that was because he had the most powerful device in his universe to keep him alive. From what he gathered, Ash was just a normal kid! Maybe it's because he's more numb to death than the others, but he honestly felt proud of Ash more than anything! Don't get him wrong, he still was concerned for him, and if anything ever happened to Ash, Ben would be dialing up Alien X before his brain could process it, but he still couldn't help but feel like the father he didn't know Ash didn't have.

Needless to say, they all made an agreement to keep a much closer eye on their youngest member. And possibly putting him on a leash.

#crossover #ash ketchum #ben 10 #kim possible #steven universe #rwby #pokemon anime

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rileychester · 1 year

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Honestly I’m surprised Ben is still alive, on how quickly he is unraveling over everything that is happening, the loss of his leg, and also being separated from the man he loves.

I thought he would have died before any other team mates.

Where I wonder if he dies midseason, as the winter gets nastier. Or if like Jackie dying at the end of season one, he dies at the end of the season two. To end the chapter of them having some sort of adults/civilization out there with them like with Jackie.

Not that Ben is really leading them or being an adult from what I can see. But he’s an adult and that still effects how teens act, at least from what I remember as a teenager. He is a symbol of that life that they left behind. But they are moving in a new direction.

It’s the writers putting a big ending moment in the chapter of them losing all ties to what they once were. And they are really all alone out there.

So that it can move in the direction of the Antler Queen era.

#yellowjackets

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kylorengarbagedump · 1 year

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I honestly am not interested in the film… I think with Kylo/Ben (what do I call him anymore?? Haha) dead it ruined the spark the sequels had. I understand why people adore Rey, but TROS ruined it for me. Sad to say. The sequels were really fun but they’re also victims of poor writing and character development (or lack thereof)

P.S sorry for my monthly blog stalking, I’m surprise I’m still finding posts I haven’t seen before. okay love u 😘 xoxo 💋

Ugh, yes, I feel very much the same way. TROS's writing was so awful and the way they developed Kylo makes me not want him to come alive in that particular canon again regardless.

Also, I love your blog stalking omg. I'm surprised you like some of that old crap! Please, it's a pleasure for me to be reminded of some of the old times, haha. Thank you <3

#nerd whinings #cuties

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addictsitter · 11 months

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what is chambers even about

chambers is a supernatural/horror series on netflix that premiered in 2019, lasted one season and then was brutally cancelled two months after release.

the main character is sasha yazzie (and if i see anyone hate her i will fight them) a seventeen year old indigenous girl (this fact is important btw) who has a freak heart attack while trying to lose her virginity. through what is, over the course of the series, implied to be supernatural intervention, she manages to get to a hospital in time and gets a heart transplant from a girl who died twenty minutes away in the fictional (and in no way based on sedona) crystal valley. (this is set in arizona fyi.) the heart donor, a white girl named becky lefevre, is survived by her twin brother (elliot, my boy), her mother (nancy) and her father (ben). via what is definitely absolutely shady and questionably legal behavior, ben tracks sasha down and invite hers to dinner. no, it is not any less creepy in context.

after that dinner and that first night with the lefevres, sasha starts going to the weirdo rich kid school because of a scholarship from ben and nancy. (there is the overall vibe for most of the series that they're kind of using sasha as a becky substitute. this just gets worse and more blatant during the back half of the series.) at the same time, sasha starts seeing things. hallucinations that are written off as anxiety but are, of course, supernatural. she sees becky several places, hallucinates things that becky saw, manages to have several skills of becky's somehow, etc etc. (also she gets the twin thing with elliot, which is fun.) but the more that sasha sees, the more that becky comes through. suddenly, there's straight blond streaks in sasha's hair. suddenly the cut on her hand from a becky flashback is healed but surrounded by white skin.

long story very very very short, it turns out that the lefevres' weird rich person new age country club is actually a cult that may or may not be demon summoners who attempted to use becky as a host and becky killed herself because of it. because of this, becky is still sort of alive in sasha and trying to take sasha over to kill her. it is not any less unsettling in context, btw. there is an excellent scene that takes place ~in sasha's heart~ where becky's been getting rid of sasha's stuff and replacing it with all of hers. it's v obviously meant to be representative of what's going on with the battle for possession of sasha. skipping several spoilers, the series ends with the cult approaching sasha to be like "hey so obviously becky was the wrong choice but surprise we decided it's you" and left it on a sort of cliffhanger.

the series has some really obvious themes of cultural appropriation (just about everything in crystal valley/the cult) that are juxtaposed with the fact that, due to her upbringing, sasha's never been able to connect with her heritage and is unfamiliar with most of it. according to the showrunner, the plot with the lefevre parents using sasha as a becky replacement is also meant to be a Thing about colonialism that would have been addressed and explored more fully in the non-existent season two (rip)

the series has issues (i have a List of trigger warnings for it) and the writing has some, uh... moments. but everyone knocks it out of the park acting-wise, sivan alyra rose is absolutely incredible as sasha, everyone on this show is hella pretty even becky's ambiguously evil best friend. honestly, the fact that sivan didn't even get nominated for this series is a fucking crime.

#also i am eternally emo over elliot and sasha's relationship bc it's so interesting #it is on the list of things that would have been looked into more in s2 #also also i am still emotionally compromised by the fact that the relationship with sasha is. like. one of if not the most important thing #that happens to elliot in the series #and considering that this is the boy who it turns out was forcibly hooked on heroin #and has been hearing the voice of the thing possessing his sister......that's saying something #chambers #i'm sorry for the essay but i also cut like sixty percent of what i wanted to say so.

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manebioniclegali · 1 year

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What are your thoughts on tRoS

Okay so this has been in my askbox for four years geez I'm sorry. I apparently wrote something that I'll go ahead and paste it in below. The thoughts I had are similar to how I feel now: It could have been a much better film, but Abrams has a tendency to make mystery boxes and not plan out the ending, so the prior film threw a wrench in an already uncertain conclusion. Anyway here's the whole thing:

TROS...is a movie. Idk, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. JJ Abrams did what he could with what Ep 8 left him with, but also it's his fault that Ep 8 happened cuz of lack of planning, so he kinda dug himself in his hole. It's kinda gonna be difficult to talk about because I've only seen the movie once and I don't usually go back to theaters to rewatch films so I'm just gonna struggle; also I purposefully waited cuz I had no thoughts, but really I should have taken that as a sign that it was overall mediocre, because generally I have thoughts about a film right away if I liked it or disliked it. I did get spoiled on Ren, Leia, and Palpatine dying, but the only surprise out of the three was Ren. And even then it was like an "oh, okay then." I thought he was dead when Palpatine flung him, and I thought that was very unceremonious of the film to do that, but then he died a more noble way, so yay! I guess. Still weird he had to die, seemed kinda forced just so they could have a major character die. Which leads me to circle 'round to Chewy (we'll come back to the kiss later). I thought that was, once again, very cheap and quite unceremonious; my first thought was "Really? They're really going to kill off all the original trilogy characters?" (in this case meaning Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewy). And then they didn't let the characters mourn properly. And then they negated the anguish by having him be alive. How?! There was only one transport ship! I liked the festival planet as a concept. Ultimately the fact that a festival was happening meant nothing, though. OH, the kiss. Hooray, Reylo shippers got their wish although technically it was Ben not Ren but shshshshsh don't burst their bubble. I mean the whole scene after he crawled back up was leading up to it, and the scene earlier where she heals him had the same energy, so I'm not mad about it. [edit: still almost a bit odd though.] Her taking the last name Skywalker was so cheesy. I know cheesy things happen in Star Wars, but rarely does it ever feel so predictable [edit: in a bad way] (my reaction being "of course! of course she would"). It should have been she just...continues going by Rey. IDK, her taking the name Skywalker seems like something JJ thought was a cool idea and wasn't budging from.

The sequel trilogy is honestly kinda a bust for me. TFA is the only one that has the potential for substantial rewatchability, although even then that's dubious. (I remember going into the film thinking Finn was going to be the Jedi...)

Anyway I put the tl,dr above. Subsequent Star Wars media has been hit or miss, but I've heard good things about Andor and I still need to watch it. I'm not super optimistic about most of these other projects. The Mandalorian should have ended with season 2 and Grogu should not have returned (or the very least should have had Din go off on his own), but they don't know when to end a story I guess.

#star wars legends > modern star wars projects after swtcw (and even then that had some flaws but not quite the same as other projects)#(there were a few good things in rebels too but not the same)#i still have yet to watch the anime star wars stuff and I'm so curious to see how that turned out absjdkskj #sab answers #youvegotnomeansforwanderlust #bet you weren't expecting this ask to be answered after all this time huh lol #sorry it was kinda long that's how it was always gonna be though

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phoenixes-and-wizards · 4 years

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now that s3′s been officially confirmed, here’s a couple of things i want to see

obviously the umbrella academy kids interacting with sparrow academy!ben

will the sparrow academy kids be super possessive of their ben? or is he actually that much of an asshole that they all but yeet him in the original kids’ direction

the umbrella academy and sparrow academy kids duking it out at first, while klaus and his counterpart (if they do have counterparts) just sit back, smoke some weed, and talk about the finer points of life

reggie finally receiving his comeuppance, i don’t care how, just make it slow and painful

a vanya and reggie scene where she berates him for every single thing he did to her

a luther and reggie scene where he berates him for every single thing he did to him

a diego and reggie scene where he--you know what, you get the point

what happened to the last swede???? and klaus’ cult?

if klaus’ cult is still present in the new timeline, will they just worship klaus all the more for looking exactly the same as when he’d left them, or would they hate him for leaving them so abruptly and without a proper goodbye at that

vanya scaring the living crap out of reggie with her powers

honestly just give me all the scenes where reggie loses all semblance of control over his kids

battle scenes where the sparrow academy and umbrella academy kids have to work together

and surprise, surprise, their powers are actually complimentary instead of contradictory to each other’s!!!!!!

cue all the awesome battle move combo scenes

klaus, vanya, and allison sharing more time together

more scenes of diego and herb’s developing friendship

ben slowly but surely warming up to his “other” family

the umbrella academy kids each trying to protect ben in their own way, and when he finally snaps because he isn’t “a fucking child, alright, i’m number one here” and klaus--who up until this point has been holding up quite well--finally punching him and going “you asshat, in case it wasn’t obvious from the last 235213423 times we’ve saved your life, we don’t want to lose you again!!!!!”

plus the sparrow academy kids just going *shocked pikachu face* in the background

GIMME MORE VANYA AND DIEGO BONDING SCENES PLEASE

the umbrella kids re-meeting pogo and having to introduce themselves all over again

and for fuck’s sake, just give diego the closure he needs with grace

also: considering it’s a new timeline and diego and patch had never met, does this mean she’s still out there

BUT DEAR LORD PLEASE DONT GIVE ME A PATCH/DIEGO/LILA LOVE TRIANGLE IM SICK AND TIRED OF THAT BS

instead, give me patch and lila ganging up on diego and bullying him at every turn for being such a stubborn little shit sometimes

SISSY AND VANYA REUNION

KLAUS AND DAVE REUNION!!!!

istg dave better be alive, because klaus cannot take any more pain, and so can i

I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW

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in-tua-deep · 3 years

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idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool

okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness

but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat

so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something

and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth

so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once

So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own

As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"

It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.

And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.

So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying

And then she takes him to her dad

(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)

and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next

and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow

now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")

"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)

and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened

and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that

The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation

(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)

they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)

(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")

this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person

"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"

"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."

"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"

And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."

That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.

"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"

("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)

And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.

He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.

"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.

Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.

Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.

"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."

She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"

"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.

Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.

"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."

"What's the point?" Five grumps.

"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.

Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.

Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.

This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.

Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition

Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.

Then they all cry

"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.

"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."

"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."

"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."

"I could always sing some -"

"No, Rick/Dad."

And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.

And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.

They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.

They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.

"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"

"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.

"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.

They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.

He gets an infection.

"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."

"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."

"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."

"I'm going to fix it."

"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.

They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.

"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.

"I don't think so."

Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"

"You won't remember me."

"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"

"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.

"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."

"Was she bad at bowling?"

"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."

"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."

"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"

"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."

"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."

"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.

Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."

"Shut up." Five says, choked.

"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."

"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"

"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."

"But -"

"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."

Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."

Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."

They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.

Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.

They continue by themselves. They get older.

Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.

("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)

"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."

"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.

"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."

Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."

"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."

"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"

"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."

"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.

"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."

"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.

"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."

"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."

"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"

"Neither did I!"

"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."

"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"

"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."

"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.

"That's cheating."

"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.

Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?

"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."

"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"

"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."

"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."

"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."

"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."

It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?

So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.

"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.

And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.

"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.

"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.

"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"

"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.

"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."

Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"

"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.

"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.

Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."

"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"

"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."

"Even if it means leaving you alone?"

Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."

"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.

"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.

When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.

"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."

"Okay." Five whispers back.

"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.

"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"

"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."

"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.

And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.

He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.

Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.

"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.

He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.

"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"

"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.

"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."

They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.

"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"

"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."

"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.

"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.

It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.

It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"

Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."

"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"

"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."

"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.

She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."

"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.

"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"

Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"

"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"

"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.

Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."

"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"

"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."

"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.

"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"

"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.

"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.

"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.

"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.

"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.

Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."

"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.

"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.

"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"

Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"

"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.

"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.

"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.

Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."

"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.

"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.

Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"

"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.

"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."

"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.

"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.

Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"

Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.

There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"

"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"

"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.

It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."

"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.

"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.

"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.

"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."

"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.

Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"

"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."

"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.

"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.

"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.

"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.

"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."

"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.

"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."

"Who is Rick."

"So much explaining."

#survivors au #well adjusted five au #five actually has some social skills!#and an idea of what an actual parent looks like as well #klaus absolutely adores this version of five #who quotes vines and uses gen z slang with the best of them #five has been reliably informed that public education is worse than the apocalypse #but he's also pretty sure working with his family is worse as well #five: i have so much trauma lol #klaus: oh big same #vanya: mood #five is somehow the most well adjusted hargreeves #and the most responsible #he doesn't legally exist and he doesn't pay taxes but somehow he has his shit together #five showing up at rick's house: you don't know me but i know you in the future #rick: what the fuck #five: don't make me bring up bethany midler from highschool because you gave me so many embarrassing stories to convince yourself with #rick: okay okay i believe you and you are???#five: your son from the future lol what's up dad want to help save the world #five arriving back at the manor like: WHAT'S UP LOSERS RICK IS NOW YOUR DAD TOO BC GOD KNOWS Y'ALL NEED AN ACTUAL FATHER FIGURE #klaus calls rick a dilf and five kidney punches him hard enough that klaus can't even properly introduce himself #it's better for everyone that way #delores: 15 and ready to fuck someone up #delores: i'm not staying with this weirdo (diego) while you go off with my dad #five threateningly: don't make me bring up what really happened to dad's good suit in 2012 #delores: i will stay right here #rick: wait WHAT happened to my good suit #five: unimportant don't you want to save the world #long post #far tua long

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