#also how often does this person just get yelled at by randos in The Real World????

[trans-xianxian]

just saw someone say that older siblings are allowed to yell at their younger siblings because they had no say in them being in the family and it's "preparing them to be yelled at in the real world" girl what the fuck are you talking about

[x688plsloveme]

Companions react to someone saying something Insanely insulting to them and a usually calm Sole loses their shit, as in whoops their ass?

In their pre-war profession, Sole learned to take a lot of shit. They even had a retail job when they were a teenager, so most of what the average wastelander could spit out was usually nothing in comparison.

They'd just pretend the person in front of them was a usual customer and tune them out until they were done. Most regarded them as having the patience of a saint. They just thought it was due to not growing up in an overly impatient wasteland.

Either way, Sole had never even come close to the volume that they used on this idiot.

No one talked bad about their friends, no one. So when they heard the insults thrown at one of their best friends? They went off. Hurling anything and everything that came to mind at the dumb wastelander that thought it was a good idea to mess with them and theirs.

ADA: Although she wasn't hurt by the random human she didn't even care to know, she was touched by Sole's anger on her behalf. She was a tad surprised that her usually mellow was acting in such a way, but quickly adapted to the situation. She allowed Sole to continue their loud ranting for a few moments longer until gently stopping them. "Before he urinated on himself." Was her excuse. Sole snorted and told her it'd be funny, but ultimately let him go because Ada was probably right.

CAIT: The only thing that could've stopped her from punching the waster's lights out herself was the shock she saw from her well mannered friend. It literally stopped her mid-punch. All she could do was look slack mouthed as Sole ripped into the man in front of them verbally. They were usually the one who told her to ease up on her aggression, so seeing this was a treat indeed.

CODSWORTH: The only other time he saw his sir/mum blow up so.... Loudly. Was when they thought their spouse was cheating on them. To see them so upset over someone calling a mere Mr Handy names...it was truly moving. He was sure to clean up around their settlement extra meticulously as thanks.

CURIE: Sole was a sweet person, particularly to her who didn't know the ways of the wasteland quite yet. They were always calm and collected and Curie always admired them for it. Especially in a proverbial hell hole such as this. So the loud, started gasp she let out at Sole's outburst was very much granted. She had a million questions running through her mind that she had to ask as soon as possible. And she did, right after Sole drove away the rude man that sparked their wrath.

DANSE: He was very grateful to his friend for sticking up for him so readily. He didn't have the best mental state, and it seemed Sole picked up on how the insults were affecting him. He guessed that someone that would save his life would care enough to stand up for him, but seeing it - especially from such a nice person - was something else. He gave them a very long hug afterwards.

DEACON: He feels like he should be most surprised of all, seeing as he had been following them up until they discovered the railroad. Not once has Sole ever raised their voice that high, let alone rudely and directed towards another person. He was frozen in place, completely shell shocked. It was only later that he realized they blew a fuse because of what that nobody waster was saying about him. He felt tears as he thought about how much Sole has to care about him even though they don't really know him. He vowed to tell them the real, genuine truth next time he saw them.

DOGMEAT: He was a smart dog, but not even he could keep up with all the strange words Sole used. He had no idea what a "mutfruit humper" was, but he did recognize the angry tone his owner was using. He decided to help by growling alongside Sole to back them up. He kept rapt attention to the now distressed waster that was the object of their wrath in case they tried anything funny. After the whole ordeal was over, Sole spoiled him a little harder than usual, much to his immense pleasure. Extra snacks are always a good thing in his book.

HANCOCK: "I always knew you had in in ya Sole!" He proceeds to laugh until his stomach hurts. Seeing someone as calm as Sole losing it? Comedy gold in his eyes. He does give his best friend a hug when they're done though. He appreciates them so, so much for caring about a worthless ghoul like him. Doesn't mean he's not gonna retell this story to each and everyone of Sole's friends though.

GAGE: When he heard the yelling, he just thought it was more raiders causing a ruckus as usual. But when he identified the voice as his one and only calm overboss, he did a double take. Even as the boss of raiders, he had never seen Sole blow up at anybody, let alone raise their voice. He knew they were loyal sort, but he didn't know it was to this extent. It made his otherwise cold heart warm a bit at the thought that he was one of the people his boss was fiercely loyal to.

LONGFELLOW: He didn't have many people close in his life, so Sole was like a ray of sunshine in an otherwise foggy world. They were very pleasant to get along with and actually seemed to enjoy his stories, which was rare with people that young. They would often sit next to each other in complete silence and just relax without any awkwardness whatsoever. He didn't believe what the others told him about them going ape-shit on people who've insulted their friends until he saw it himself. Now... He enjoyed the calm and quiet, but he would be a liar if this wasn't the funniest shit he'd ever seen. When they were done scaring away the waster that had the bad luck of running into them, he pat an out of breath Sole with a smile on his face.

MACCREADY: He always thought himself as a pretty laid-back guy, but not even he could hold a candle to have chill Sole was. He never ever ever thought he'd EVER see them yell at somebody over a couple insults. Sure, they were directed at a close friend, but it was still jarring. Heck, seeing them flip reminded him of his younger years when the Lone Wanderer would scold him for being rude. He almost let out a few involuntary sorrys himself.

PIPER: As someone who liked getting Intel on everyone and everything, Piper was curious to what Sole looked like when they got truly mad. She heard everything from amusing to scary and just about everything in between, but all she wanted to do was see it for herself. It took a while of her tagging along whenever Sole went, but it was well worth it when some rando finally picked on her bad enough that it send Sole over the edge. Seeing it for herself, she could attest that all of their comments were correct ones.

PRESTON: He didn't like yelling at all, which is part of the reason he enjoyed Sole's company so much. He had never seen anyone so composed while face danger or the rare rude retort. They always took care of it gracefully. No one glanced twice at a mere minuteman soldier like himself, so he had never been witness to one of Sole's rare "blow ups" that he had heard from some of their other friends. But the day it happened.... Well let's just say he was very humbled for not only being cared about so much, but also the sheer force of their yelling was scary enough to remind him of him mother whenever his siblings got into trouble.

STRONG: Needless to say, he is very happy with these turn of events even if he doesn't quite grasp why Sole is doing this. As it stands, it hypes him up to the point that he joins in the yelling and the two of them make whoever was foolish enough to insult him in front of Sole scared out of their minds.

VALENTINE: He always appreciated how calm and collected his friend was. They were always on the same page in that sense. Never letting anything bother them for too long, even if it was truly personal. Just looking ahead and forgetting about things that could sway them from their goals. Nothing could have surprised him more than Sole suddenly started screaming at a particularly rude waster that would not leave him alone. He didn't even know his friend was there until they started screaming. It made him happy to know that the one time they lose their cool, it was for him.

X6-88: No one admires Sole like he does. There's no one else that could earn his respect, let alone friendship. His friend was always on his wavelength - serene and collected in even the most stressful situations. Sure, no one had insulted him quite like the random waster, but he was ready to scoff and brush him off like any other. He refused to admit that he was hurt even slightly, but it seemed like Sole was as sharp as ever and picked up on it. He never in a million years would've guessed that they could carefully and precisely cut into a person with mere words. But he also never guessed that Sole would ever raise their voice so he supposes surprises are a given. As he watched his one and only friend defend him, he let a small, rare smile show on his face.

[sunflowerdigs]

So, I did a little sarcastic-y review from the salt mines for RNM 3x09. Warnings for excessive sodium content, Maribel mourning, a desire to recycle cardboard, and, of course, Malex opinions. Without further ado:

- Every time Michael smiles I forget for like 5 whole seconds how much I hate that Malex keeps me shackled to this show. Too cute that he brought Alex lunch (and probably hoped he could sneak a glimpse of him) and they're going on their first date (omg omg omg).❤❤❤❤❤

- Kyle should yell at people more. Starting with his garbage friends who left him in a barn without proper triage or jello cups while he was in a coma (why didn't they just keep him at DS if he's having appointments there anyway? Nevermind... ). Alas, he's starting his understandable rage tour with Uncle Edgelord, who, naturally, makes a dramatic statement and tries to leave. I am so glad Kyle called him on that.

- Delmanes would be cute if Greg didn't have the personality of cardboard. They've created a character who is actually only here to remind us of how special and amazing Maria is. Turns out that's not super interesting. And it's so painfully obvious that it's a pair-your-spares situation. I really wish they'd just give her Kyle, he has the patience of a saint. Anyway, Isobel's pigtails are cute af (rip my Isobel/Maria/Kyle heart - I would have taken Isobel interrupting Delmanes and Heather's post with pigtails today as signs if not for genetics).

- Anatsa and Isobel's development seems to have taken place completely off-screen, like everything else gay on this show, so I'm guessing it's gonna stick. Honestly...I guess this is controversial but Isobel and Maria have really good chemistry and a history. I know their bond is supposed to read "sibling" but it doesn't for me. And rather than waste time watching them flirt with these one-note (ah, Greg chimes in right on time with a convenient line any rando could have delivered) LIs, I'd much rather see them get closer. The whole related thing has thrown a wrench into it for me. That said, it's nice to watch a woman be encouraged to go after another woman. 🎉

- Alex the sci-fi/fantasy nerd figuring out immediately that the hallucination is his own subconscious is 100% legit. Much like Kyle not letting his uncle pull a classic tall-dark-and-broody exit, I appreciate Alex's 4th-wall break moment.

- Not Max and Liz proving that discussions about s2 drama can occur on Roswell New Mexico?! What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Isobel is actually acting a lot like Sherlock Holmes when he's on a case, from the wardrobe to the focus, and it's hot. Also, totally believable that Isobel would be able to pull up that pod from under the ice because we know she's been training even if it didn't happen onscreen. Because she told us. Just a suggestion.

- I love the idea of Jim Valenti as a double-agent, but I don't see how Eduardo thought he could keep Kyle safe by never knowing him. It feels like there's a lot more here Eduardo isn't saying.

- It wasn't a sister-fight that Maria and Isobel had, but whatever (no one got physically shoved or brought up a horrifying memory from 100000 years ago to shove in someone's face in public - doesn't count).

- Also, why would you waste a glass by throwing it into the fireplace? Wouldn't it just explode back in your face? Man, the show is trying so hard with Maria and Greg, I want to give them some kind of romance-novel award for effort (but not success).

- Not Liz and Max showing us that it's possible to move forward by discussing your past mistakes like adults instead of pretending they didn't happen!? What? Must be a straight thing. Lucky them.

- Draw a line on the bottle? No way, Valenti, he obviously wants you to chuck that whole thing straight into the fire in a fit of passion to prove that his words had an emotional impact.

- Also, Kyle wins the prize for this episode for that speech to Uncle Edgelord. Everyone go home. When do I get a Kyle and Alex spin-off where they travel the world, defying sci-fi tropes and seducing beautiful men and women?

- Not Liz and Max talking loudly about aliens while breaking and entering! This one is actually very believable, I take it back.

- It was idiotic of Liz to trust Heath. And Echo keep having this same fight because MAX IS RIGHT BUT THE SHOW WON'T LET HIM BE. Which is so obnoxious. I would forgive Liz for almost any sin (like, idk, getting a better romantic storyline because she's straight) because she's gorgeous and smart and tough and I wanna go live with her and her mad scientist energy on a deserted island somewhere. But she's being real dumb rn.

- I love the t-shirt and if Vlambase doesn't sell one I will. But he couldn't have held up a radio and blasted some Barry White? I feel like that would have cleared everyone but Alex put of the building real fast. Also, what is time on Roswell NM? Was Alex just setting the alarm every so often for kicks? Does Eduardo really not check in on staff who are working with dangerous technology for days on end? Also, why is this entire plot happening over a single goddamn episode instead of two or more so that we can really feel Alex wasting away under the machine's influence? The reason this twist is at all surprising is also the entire plot's undoing - Alex's demeanor wasn't exactly one of a man obsessed (or an addict, tbh) in his last scene.

- Anyway, back to Rizzoli and Isles. I definitely am always super excited to hear the details of my sister's sex life. All the time. That is totally a sister thing except where it's really not. Do any of these writers actually have a sister? I feel like they must because the Michael/Max/Isobel sibling chemistry is always bang on but Maribel is just...flirty lady city. Oh, and look, the beard just showed up with coffee to cockblock - it really is R&I!

- Back to Alex's plot line, which, much like Isobel's coffee, is Express To-Go. He's become haggard and worn in the time it's taken Michael's mom to find a cute sweater in the void. Seriously, we wasted like 3 whole episodes where Alex was presumably sitting in DS twiddling his thumbs and now he's being worn down by the machine in a single episode? Why didn't this plot start back in episode 3 or 4? Like...look, I don't come on here to be an asshole. But I just really hope they're taking note of what worked this season and what didn't because HOLY PACING FIASCO BATMAN. Just because you're giving us Malex doesn't mean everything else can just be hot garbage (not the acting, Taylor's doing his best to sell this). Also, when did Alex put his leg back on? I have so many questions but they aren't the good kind, so Michael better ride in soon and save this mess.

- Regarding what Nora is saying, it's fine, it makes sense but the zero build up makes it completely ineffective. Alex is afraid he doesn't love enough - it would have been nice to see that over several episodes instead of just being told in a burst of sudden exposition but, you know. Nice straight things we can't have, I guess.

- If Michael and Alex want their relationship to "purr" they could, idk, talk through their past misunderstandings like people in relationships do. Or the show could keep throwing exposition bombs at them, idek.

- Are those empty toilet paper rolls inside the machine? I knew the CW was budget but come on...

- And we finally get the Heath connection and it's to our brand new trope-y character, Wise Old Black Man Dallas. It's surprising but only because the 4th alien didn't exist before this episode. So, good job.

Overall, not the worst episode of RNM ever. I only wondered why I watch this show maybe 3 times this episode. And Michael's enthusiasm for Alex was adorable.

[cohentm]

✮     ∷     ╰  𝖚𝖕𝖉𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 .

             I FEEL LIKE i just ran away from home and then realized i’m five and, unfortunately, cannot survive without my parents. LMDFLKDFGM i missed u all and had to return… we hate to see it. anyway! whew. i figured i’d post a refreshed lil intro for cohen to make sure i hit on some key changes before i hop back into the game! the most important / group-related part is right at the top, so if u read nothing else, read that! ily all and i’m excited to jump back in like i never left. i’ll be sliding in dms and makin’ starters asap, so if u wanna make some connection changes my door’s always open! x

✮     ∷     ╰  𝖈𝖔𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖘𝖊𝖌𝖚𝖗𝖆 : 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 .

cohen currently lives in a glorified, raggedy frat-esque house ( he is NOT a fratboy but he might as well be huh ) of his own right off campus, about a five minute drive / ten minute walk from the stadium ( it’s about four bedrooms large with three bathrooms, all on one floor. think david dobrik’s house–click here to see–except much uglier and CHEAP MVDFLG ). 

he’s fiscally very protective of his savings. he’s been working since he was 12 with his dad, and never ever spent his money, despite some repetitive near-misses where his parents tried ( and failed, bc cohen’s slick ) to steal money from him. basically he now pays for his share of the house using the money he saves/has always saved working for factories, farms, & fixing people’s junk cars. 

his only current roommate is foster, meaning he has two spare rooms he’s not really doing anything with. beer pong table’s outside, the kitchen is the alcohol hot spot, there’s a pool table instead of a dining room table, u know how it goes. 

regardless, he throws open invite house parties literally every weekend. they take place every friday night up until the sun rises on sunday morning–whether he’s around the house for all of five seconds or all night doesn’t matter, because they’re always a-go. 

you’re all 100% free to use his house entirely at your leisure for character fun / development / a place for ur thread to take place / etc! you don’t even need to get my okay beforehand! just do it! think of it as a known dillon fact that cohen’s having a house party every weekend NFKDFNDFKJG. 

no matter who you are, whether cohen likes you or not, he will not care if you show up with some randos or familiar faces and party it out. he’s socially bored 24/7 and full of apathy and alcohol at all times so mans probably will be plastered drunk out doing donuts in the parking lot and fighting someone he doesn’t have beef with anyway. ur muse probably won’t even see him there. LMKGDFLG if you’ve ever seen burlesque? literally him showing up to his OWN house for a visit / to get plastered and then wander off during the weekend party is…. real. so yeah! use his house like it’s ur own. just be out by sunday afternoon bc he likes to pretend none of it ever happened as soon as he wakes up and has to be sober for school. x KMVFBLFG love u all.

✮     ∷     ╰  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬  &  𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 .

tw: eating disorder mentions ( food & lifestyle ), drug addiction / recovery, alcoholism, & mentions of past steroid use.

full name.    cohen anthony segura.

aka.    co, jet.

character inspiration.    adam parrish ( the raven cycle ), vince howard & tim riggins lovechild ( if y’all watched fnl…. let’s cry together ), a much more problematic  &  asshole-ish david dobrik ( the vlog squad ), nathan scott ( oth ), steven hyde ( that ‘70s show ), emily prentiss & aaron hotchner lovechild ( criminal minds ), & noel miller ( tmg ).

age & d.o.b.    twenty-two. birthdate tbd.

zodiac.    virgo sun, aries moon, & aquarius rising.

pronouns.    he / him.

orientation.    openly bisexual.

this has never presented as too large of an issue for cohen, despite living in dillon. he isn’t afraid of being talked about, and has a history of making sure people know he can hold his own if anyone has anything to say about his personal life.

university major.    architecture  &  architectural technology.

after living in a trailer for the duration of his life, the idea that he would be invested in architecture is astounding. however, here he is. his passion for home creation stemmed from growing up and envisioning a real home to live in. his parents are both into self-taught carpentry, and his dad was shoving tools and measuring tape into his hands from the time he was young in an effort to instill in him a firm “get it done yourself” mindset. he spends his time studying structure  &  building planning, and secretly has a journal full of dream house mark-ups.

occupation.    wide receiver for the dillon panthers, full time student, & prospective architect / carpenter post-college.

tattoos.    many riddled throughout his body. brandon arreaga’s tattoos are cohen’s.

face claim.    brandon arreaga.

alignment.    neutral evil.

hogwarts.    slytherin.

positive & negative traits.    ( if u’ve already read this do not read it again i promise u nothing here changed LSMFLD )

hardworking–he works himself to the bone and is entirely unapologetic about it. you’ll rarely catch him slipping, but if he does, he’s the first to get ear-splittingly angry with himself over it. he’s way too hard on himself & he knows it, but he’ll never admit it. 

he nitpicks at the flaws of others in an effort to feel superior, and always acts unaffected when he’s called out for bringing the team down when he’s not taking care of himself ( cue vince howard from fnl or nathan scott from oth scenes where they’re bragging about how good they are on the field even though he’s apt to get himself hurt because of how desperate he is for some kind of validation–cohen had a huge issue with restricting and abusing stimulants / testing steroids throughout high school and college in an attempt to boost his football persona. he was always incredibly fast and beat literal ODDS to maintain his wide receiver position, but especially thanks to his small build he’s used to being underestimated / downplayed, which puts a really heavy weight on his shoulders. today, he’s eating healthily, he’s off drugs, and he’s taking care of himself better than he ever has before, but it’s still incredibly hard and he still reaches out for ways to overcompensate, which is where alcohol usually comes into play ). 

transparent–sure, he can turn into a stressed out & irritable jerk within a fraction of a second, but at least he’s upfront about when he switches lanes. LDFGLMKFG

he’s incredibly focused, which means he’s never going to linger in uncertainty for too long before he admits that he’s just not down to be around you / to be there / to talk / etc. he’s no bullshitter by any means. he’d rather hurt your feelings and keep his environment stable and tactile than stick around and put his easily shaken emotions at risk just to make you comfy. 

he’s also accountable. he knows when he’s causing shit to fuck up & hit the fan, and he’s always quick to right wrongs when things are on him. ofc he’s bred from a family full of blame-givers, so he unhealthily picked up a bad habit of being really good at sounding like he’s apologizing sincerely when he’s really just trying to end a fight because he’s annoyed. LDCLDKMFDFG. 

he’s blunt, temperamental, & incredibly selfish when it comes to his own lifelines / vices, but wholeheartedly selfless when it comes to doing anything to protect or lift up the people he loves.

mental diagnoses.    anorexia nervosa ( in recovery ), alcoholism ( ongoing ), an addiction to various stimulants ( in recovery ), & frequent past attempts at steroid use.

physical diagnoses.    n / a.

phobias.    has an irrational fear of accidentally burning down his house. will get immensely stressed–to the point where he’s absolutely annoying and intolerable to put up with / be around–if someone’s cooking or baking “irresponsibly.” will probably yell at you and hover-cook until you let him take over so he can make sure nothing goes wrong. LMSDFKLFG

scars.   an appendix scar on his lower left side.

drug use.    frequently.

alcohol use.    frequently.

diet.    very decently rounded. he loves to cook, despite being self-taught. growing up the way he did, he settles for making simple dishes very well. he’s not the type to go all out for dinner. he meal preps like it’s his job. he usually just settles with some kind of pan-friend chicken and pasta dish at home.

birth place.    dillon, texas.

parents.    "jude" judith & anthony segura. 

two lower class parents with deep-rooted anger issues. they currently live in the same trailer park together, in separate trailers, and fight with each other constantly. they claim they’re divorced, and are seeing other people, but they’ve never actually filed for anything, since anthony segura thinks it’s just a ploy for judith to take “half [his] shit.” cohen visits them often, and acts as a middle ground child who hates but loves both of them equally. his dad enjoys / tolerates his son’s presence more than his mother does, but only marginally. his mother’s much less concerned with the fact that she has children, since, in her mind, her relationship issues are the most important things in her life. cohen spent many nights as a kid with his drugged up mom in his lap while she cried about not being loved by anyone. his dad, even though he’s rough with cohen, at least spends time with him every now and again. as a kid, his dad was handing him beers to drink and tools to learn to use to prove he was a man ( despite being a ten y/o child bfkjgk oh well! ). regardless, today cohen lives on his own but is still the financial backbone for his parents–since his mom is unemployed and his dad is a seasonal construction worker–and has been since he was fifteen. they ask him for money every chance they get, and cohen never says no.

siblings.    a younger sister ( by two years ). loves her to death. would protect her with his life.

pets.    he’s notorious for letting a certain set of strays run amuck in his house. he feeds the neighborhood cat, is a-okay with people bringing their animals to his parties, etc. but he’s too scared of permanence and obsessed with independence to ever follow through with getting his own animal.

education.    current senior at dillon university. 

he has always been a decent student. he got into architectural honors college his sophomore year of college. however, he’s still not by any means incredibly intelligent. he’s decent grade-wise, but only because he tries really hard and puts in the effort it takes to keep up in a field like architecture. he’s also a chronic cheater, but c’est la vie! lmfgdflkg he spends the vast majority of his time either studying or practicing, and gets very irritable very quick doing either activity because he doesn’t know how to manage stress, so he drinks in the evenings in an attempt to make up for his tense demeanor, but he’s an angry drunk so… whomst are we really kidding here. LMDFKLG

languages.    english & american sign language.

[atlaskat]

Home for the Holidays

Hello! @zamorawrites, I was your secret Santa this year! Sorry that I’m a bit late. I hope you’ll be satisfied with what I came up with for your prompt.

"You... want me to do what now?"

Roxanne's brow twitched. "I want you to come with me to my parents' holiday celebrations and pose as my boyfriend for about two days using that light-disguise-clock of yours."

Megamind's eyes were wide as two plates, his mouth slightly open. She could practically see the overthinking which was happening in his brain. He looked borderline panicked, which was -- in all honesty -- a little rude. He wasn't the one bound to a chair, with hair messed up from the bag which had been removed from his head only moments ago. He didn't even have hair to begin with.

There was something charming about Megamind like that, though. Startled, embarrassed, unsure what to do with himself. Shocking him was always a bit fun.

"I- what," he stuttered, "your boyfriend...?"

"Yeah," Roxanne scoffed irritably, "Wayne- Metro Man ditched me last minute. Vacation, apparently. Worst fa- worst boyfriend ever."

Megamind's expression had started to look more and more desperate as he struggled to wrap his brain around what Roxanne said. There was too much new information already.

Roxanne shifted in her chair, cocking her eyebrow at one of the brainbots idly passing by with some scrap metal part in its grasp. She didn't elaborate, which stressed Megamind -- he could feel the sweat under the skintight leather. Bad choice of clothing for the occasion, apparently.

"I'm not sure I understand?" His tone went upward to indicate a question. As if Roxanne could answer whether or not he understood.

Well, she actually could. He definitely didn't understand at all. "Will you please just come with me? My mother doesn't care if I bring Wayne home or some rando off the street, as long as I make sure I don't come alone."

Megmind blinked a couple of times, still staring at her, wide-eyed.

"Psst. Sir." Minion, although whispering, did not utter the words quietly. As if a 250-pound steel gorilla with a fish brain would ever be subtle.

Megamind turned his head after Minion's third try. "Uh- yeah?"

"This does not seem like a good idea, Sir."

"Oh buzz off, Minion. How many times have you two kidnapped me, huh? How many times have I given you any trouble?"

Megamind seemed to snap out of his trance at that, narrowing his eyes at her with an unimpressed look.

"Ah, only about every single time," he underlined sarcastically. Then why do you keep doing it, Roxanne was about to say, but bit her tongue. She needed to get back to the bottom line and ensure his cooperation. If she wasted time and Metro Man found the hiding place, her last-resort plan would go to a very bad fiery place.

Roxanne quickly angled her face a little downward to make her eyes bigger and batted her eyelashes sweetly. "Please~?" She said softly -- this was a very effective trick to use on Megamind, although she didn't use it often, because it was classic damsel behavior and she was not about to play that game with him. Still, desperate circumstances called for desperate measures.

Purple blush shot up to Megamind's cheeks, even to the tips of his ears. He swallowed, tensing the muscles of his throat in a very satisfactory manner -- one might even have called it hot. Roxanne would never let him know that though.

"Sir. Sir?" Minion called.

"Aaaa..." for someone so smart, Megamind had a terrible time with collecting his thoughts. "I'll, uh, I'll help you..."

"Sir!" Minion yelled in outrage.

Roxanne gave a satisfied, smug grin.

Megamind gave a grunt from the back of his throat to indicate for Minion to shut up.

A buzz from a warning alarm made the brainbots erupt into a chaos of preparations for Metro Man's arrival.

"I'm calling off this evil plan this time, Miss Ritchi!" Megamind exclaimed with his usual extravagant confidence -- a front to save face -- as he began loosening the restraints around her wrists. "Although do not be mistaken, this will not happen twice!"

Minion sighed, picking up the bag from its place on the control panel. Roxanne sighed too, but obediently let the cloth slip over her ears.

--

Roxanne pulled the thick scarf tighter and smoothed the front of her coat again. She fumbled with the train tickets, making sure they were there. Check. Her ID? Yep. Her wallet? Also check. Somehow she was nervous.

In all reality, fake-breaking up with Wayne had been a relief. Because that meant she got to ask Megamind instead. Of course, logically, she shouldn't have asked him -- she had a few male acquaintances, like Paul from Management.

She scrunched up her nose. Maybe not Paul from Management. But other people, for sure. Still, her first thought on possible candidates had immediately been Megamind. He was smart enough to understand what fake dating meant (unlike Paul from Management), and wouldn't overstep any boundaries. Which was kind of strange, since overstepping boundaries was kind of supposed to be a supervillain's thing.

And to be completely honest, only fake dating was kind of disappointing. She couldn't put her finger on why, but the feeling was still there. And it was painful to actually have to call Wayne her boyfriend in front of Megamind -- the last person she honestly wanted to believe the whole scam relationship.

He would never know that, though. If he found out she and Wayne weren't romantically involved in the least, he would stop kidnapping her and then they wouldn't interact with each other at all.

"Um, Roxanne...?" A timid voice broke her off from her thoughts. To her side was Bernard -- well, not exactly, behind those fogged-up glasses were a pair of shining green eyes. Eyes which definitely did not belong to Bernard.

"Meg- uh, M, M, Mike!" She stammered out the new name. "Let's go, the train leaves pretty soon."

"Mike?" Megamind looked unimpressed.

"Oh, shut it. It's not bad."

"It's not my name." He mumbled. Roxanne paused for a moment. He looked a bit like a sad puppy. With really red cheeks. Which wasn't weird at all, because of the cold and all, but the slight possibility that he was as flustered as she felt was exciting. But still weird. It should have been purple blush on blue skin, not Bernard's flesh-colored-crayon shade.

"Well, I can't exactly call you Megamind now can I?"

 Megamind huffed, pushing the button by the train doors and letting her board first.

"Alright," Roxanne held her glove with her teeth as she dug up the tickets, "we're... 29 and 30 C."

"Does your family live far away?"

Roxanne pulled the scarf over her head, then fiddled with the buttons of her coat. "We'll cross state lines, but not really more than three hours. Six, on a bad day."

"Hm..." Megamind hummed, his eyes following the scenery as the train began moving.

"What about yours?" Roxanne watched as Megamind-disguised-as-Bernard's eyes widened, his muscles tensing up. A painful expression shifted quickly over his face.

"I- uh, I'd rather not talk about it."

"Alright," she nodded, "I bet the holidays'll cheer you up."

That same expression again, the way his eyes dropped, his knuckles white from balling them into fists. Then a little chuckle and a weak "yeah". There was something about Christmas which didn't sit quite right with Megamind.

"Ah, well, Miss Ritchi--" he began, but Roxanne interrupted him.

"Call me Roxanne, we're supposed to be dating."

"R-Roxanne..." his voice trembled a little, and she realized how intimate it was for him to use her first name. Somehow. Most people used her first name, so it shouldn't have been a great big deal, and yet it still was.

"Yes?" Her voice was low, breathy, expecting. Megamind swallowed again, his beautiful eyes darting around from her eyes to her hands to her lips. She tilted her head with interest, adding a very quiet "Megamind?"

He shook his head softly. "My- my name is S-Syx," he stammered, eyes fixed somewhere to the left of her face. Roxanne felt her eyebrows rise with interest.

"It- it's not Megamind?" She kept her voice very low, as to not alert any of the train's other passengers. Which incidentally also meant she leaned very close to her Bernard-lookalike companion.

"Well, I guess they're both my names. Metro Man did the same thing."

"I guess... it's an alias." Roxanne nodded a little, "do you want me to call you Syx?"

He gave a small laugh. The way she pronounced it was different from how he had ever heard it before, a little nod to the fact that his first language was alien to every human on Earth. "Probably best to keep both of my names a secret for now. I can't believe I even told you. Must be those nosy reporter skills of yours."

Roxanne blinked, a little surprised at the sudden change in mood. "Ah, well, I can't help the effect I have on people. I'm just brilliant." She gestured poshly with her hand, indicating the joke, but Megamind simply nodded softly.

"You are," he said, admiration in his voice. She felt heat rise to her cheeks.

"Uuuh-- look! Snow!" She pointed, tearing Megamind's gaze away from her. While it wasn't Megamind's face, those were still his eyes, and apparently they were enough to make her weak in the knees.

Megamind, in turn, was glued to the window for most of the ride after that. Going up north meant the weather getting colder, of course, but he explained to her that he had rarely seen snow before. On the occasion that it snowed in Metro City, the snowflakes would quickly melt on the busy streets. Living his whole life in the Metropolis meant he hadn't really had the chance to see actual snowfields for real.

There was something childlike in his total excitement, the way he marveled at the thousands of little pieces of snow in the air. It was the same sort of giddy happiness he let slip every time he had a new machine to test out, a new concept to tell her about. Because he always did -- always explained his inventions to her, in such great detail that she could foil his plans. He was so thorough in his explanations that it killed most of his evil plots, because he gave her the information she needed -- Metro Man needed -- to destroy the creations. Which was a shame. They were fascinating things, beeping with neon blue lights, covered in metal spikes and black paint. Not to mention all the work behind them; finding the raw material was the least of his worries while creating them, Roxanne knew. She had seen the complicated equations for one of his machines once. She wasn't too shabby at math, she'd gotten steady B's throughout her life, but looking at that blackboard she felt like she was looking at a foreign language.

The train stopped in Roxanne's childhood city around lunchtime. "To call it a city would be to exaggerate," she said as they stepped into the cold air. "It's more of a town, really. You want to grab lunch? There's exactly one restaurant, if you don't count the McDonald's by the gym."

Megamind snorted. "By the gym? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having a gym?"

Roxanne smiled back at him. "Oh, but everyone knows McDonald's is great for building muscle. Start your fitness journey today."

"America." He sighed, shaking his head with dramatic desperation.

"The country of stark contrasts, clearly." Roxanne chuckled. "Hey, that's the restaurant," she then pointed out.

"It looks like a very sad Italian man. Look at those windows, they're like his sunken-in eyes.

She turned around, eyebrows raised. "Damn, that's a bit dark. But... pretty accurate, now that you say it."

"Sorry." He laughed.

Still, he was pleasantly surprised by the food, once they got it. The atmosphere was nice in the little place; the Christmas decorations made it feel welcoming and warm. There were red bows on the salt and pepper shakers, and candles on the tables. Jingle Bells playing softly on the radio.

Megamind took another bite of his spaghetti. "So... Miss- uh, Roxanne, is there something I should know about... your family?"

"Hmm..." she hummed, "they're pretty cool. You'll like my cousin Evelyn, I think, she's real smart. And my mom knows I never dated-" Roxanne bit her tongue hard. She couldn't let him know that.

"Who?" Megamind gave her a confused look.

"Uh, never mind," she said a little too quickly, heat rising to her cheeks. "Mom just wants the rest of the family to see I'm not alone, so they don't start their bullshit."

He tilted his head, brows furrowed.

"I mean, they used to talk about how I would die childless and alone surrounded by my cats all the time before," Roxanne laughed nervously.

"Why would they say that? You're-" he fidgeted, giving a "never mind" of his own.

"Well... I guess they don't handle independent women all that well. And they're not a fan of my haircut," she stabbed her fork aggressively into the food, "makes me look too masculine, they say. And, you know, no man is going to be attracted to that." She dragged the words out in a snarky voice, imitating one of her aunts.

Megamind looked almost offended. "Why would they say that? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to date-" he snapped his mouth shut, suddenly realizing what he'd said

Roxanne sat in stunned silence for a moment. People didn't usually call her beautiful, certainly not the most beautiful they had ever seen -- most compliments were paid to her from cat callers on the street when she would leave the office late at night. They certainly didn't come from people with eyes that made her weak in the knees.

"I- what?" She finally pressed out.

"Um, anyways, this food is actually pretty good. Did you eat here a lot when you lived here?" Megamind said the words quickly, almost forcefully, filling out the silence with anything but embarrassing honesty.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Roxanne blabbed, "I ate here with my friends after school sometimes. And everyone comes here when they eat out, unless they're really craving some McDonald's after a workout."

Megmind nodded as she chuckled awkwardly. "Why did you move away?"

"Well, I got into college in Metro City. And I always wanted to live in a big city. Makes work as a reporter more interesting when there's actually things to cover, you know."

"I understand. Do you like Metrocity, then?"

"I-" she sighed. "Yes and no. Frankly, I find the entire hero versus villain thing a little... much, sometimes. It's like the people stop thinking about morals and what's right or wrong on their own, they just rely on their hero to solve everything for them."

Megamind nodded slowly.

"And, honestly, if I have to write one more article on Wayne or Wayne's family or anything Wayne-related I'm going to explode. Nobody values real news anymore."

"I liked..." his voice trailed off for a moment, "I liked your last article, the one about the mayoral elections..."

She eyed him intently. "You did? I thought no one read that..."

He shrugged. "Your writing always interests me." You make anything interesting.

The moment was interrupted by the beeping signal of her phone. She gave an apologetic look before answering.

"Hey mom. Uh-uh, we're in town. Yeah. Yeah, okay." She rubbed her forehead. "Oh, mom, make sure everybody knows there's no Wayne this year either. No, it's over this time. I'm bringing... a guy named Mike."

Megamind called for the tab. He had a small, silent war with Roxanne about paying, which he won since having both hands free made for quicker wallet-grabbing.

"Guess your name's going to be Mike after all," teased Roxanne as they stepped out of the restaurant.

The snow under Megamind's shoes gave a very satisfying crunch, and he walked in a circle to make it crunch a few more times. "Yeah yeah, very funny. What's the moral compass on this, anyways?”

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Bernard wasn't that happy to oblige with lending his image for this purpose."

"Oh, my family never goes to Metro City. They're all antisocial hermits, there's nothing for him to worry about."

"If you say so," Megamind shrugged, giving her a teasing look. "I think you might be more evil than you think..."

"Oh, come on. I would not encourage this image-stealing body-dehydrating business in normal circumstances."

Megamind laughed. "Okay, I didn't actually dehydrate the guy this time. I just made a hard-light copy of him."

"Poor Bernard," she shook her head, "I can't believe I keep abusing him like this."

"And for your own selfish needs, no less. Tsk, tsk, tsk." Megamind clicked his tongue, faking his disapproval.

"Well, what about you? Jumping into action to save someone on Christmas? Doesn't seem very evil to me." Roxanne retaliated.

"Oh, but it is!" Megamind exclaimed. "I'm using another person's identity to trick others into inviting me into their homes, tricking them into accepting me and maybe even enjoying my presence somewhat, when in reality, I am the villain, the monster people despise. And what could be more evil than that?" He grinned at her. Behind his humorist tone, Roxanne sensed something more.

"Come on, you're not that bad." She tried, "the worst thing you've done is, like, some property damage. And even then most of it is Metro Man's fault. I mean, your death traps are never actually dangerous and you let me go if I have a headache."

Megamind looked stunned for a moment. "But I- I kidnap you, take away your freedom-"

Roxanne gave him a bored look. "I'm not a damsel, remember? Besides, being 'kidnapped' is, sadly, the most exciting couple of hours my entire week. I actually look forward to it, which says some pretty concerning things about the state of my day-to-day life."

"You- what?"

"Oh, look, that's my parents' house," she pointed at the most embarrassingly overly decorated house on the street. There were multi-colored Christmas lights on everything in the yard, and a few plastic snowmen to boot. Even though there was enough snow to make real ones. Absolutely terrible.

Megamind looked a little absent, as if off in some other world. He nodded blankly at the horrible display of holiday-exploiting consumerism. Roxanne nearly dry-heaved at the garden gnomes with tiny Santa hats by the door -- something which even Megamind reacted to, as he gave her a look of "really?" She shrugged apologetically before ringing the doorbell.

A woman with big, dyed-blonde hair opened the door. She smiled warmly, opening her arms to embrace her daughter. Roxanne's mother had the same little beauty mark by her lip. So that's where Roxanne got it.

"Hello," said the woman, "you must be Mike? I'm Roxanne's mother."

Megamind shook her hand, "I'm pleased to meet you, Mrs Ritchi."

She smiled at him. "Welcome, please come in!

He reached into his bag and took out a small package, wrapped in light blue paper. It wasn't a traditional Christmas wrapping paper, but he found it exciting to leave a little hint to his true identity. He didn't want 'Mike' to erase him entirely. "This is for you. I'm sorry it isn't much."

"Oh, thank you!”

"Meg- Mike, you didn't have to get that! I told you there was no need-" Roxanne grabbed the fabric of his coat arm with a concerned look.

"It's fine. I wanted to. It's the holidays, after all." He smiled politely at Roxanne's mother, not pulling his arm away.

"Have you two eaten lunch already?" Asked Mrs Ritchi.

"Oh, yeah, I wanted to spare Mike from the horror of Linda's lunch casserole"

"Shh," Mrs Ritchi laughed as she tried telling her daughter off, "don't let anyone hear you."

Roxanne shook her head and tugged at Megamind's coat arm for him to follow her. "You and I will be staying in the guest bedroom."

"T-together?" Megamind whispered harshly.

"Uh, yeah? Couple, remember. It's only for a night."

Megamind rubbed his neck nervously with the free hand. He wondered if his nerves would be able to handle being close to Roxanne in such an intimate situation. Maybe he hadn't thought this whole thing through properly -- but he refused to go back and prove Minion right.

"You can put your bag anywhere. And take off your coat, they'll start a fire downstairs and it gets really hot."

--

Roxanne spent the next hour gazing dramatically at the terrible snowmen in the yard, criticizing her parents' choice of decoration every chance she got. Finally, she wouldn't stand for it any longer, and pulled Megamind with her to make some real ones.

He hadn't brought any gloves of his own, so there was a bit of a fuss over glove-borrowing before they got outside. Roxanne immediately made a snowball, starting a war -- Megamind was stunned for a second when the snow hit him in the face (it was much colder than he thought, somehow), but he quickly recovered and retaliated with full fire power.

"Okay, okay, cease fire!" Roxanne could barely yell through her laughing fit. "Let's build the goddamn snowman!"

She showed him how to roll the snow, making sure it was packed hard enough to keep it from falling apart. Megamind found it surprisingly fun to roll the snow and so he made a huge globe instead of a snowman, which made Roxanne pick up her ball and throw it at him. His was way too heavy to carry though, so she won that round.

Finally, they finished the snowman.

"He looks kind of disproportionate, doesn't he?" Said Roxanne as she stepped back to judge their creation.

"Oh, don't body shame him. That's just the way he distributes the weight."

"Okay, so what's his name?" As Megamind gave her a confused look, she continued. "I mean, he's basically our son, and we need to baptize him properly or he won't go to snowman heaven when he melts."

Megamind started laughing, and Roxanne was delighted by the sound. He held his hand over his mouth -- almost as if to stop himself, to not show his happiness, but it was such a nice sound. He hadn't seemed fully genuinely happy all day, and Roxanne told herself that the giddy feeling she got was only because of that.

"Alright, I understand," said Megamind between the last few chuckles. "How about we call him... Hal."

Roxanne’ss jaw dropped. "Hal? Hal?! My creepy coworker? God, no."

"Why? I thought you liked him. What is there not to love?" Megamind poked her teasingly.

"Jesus, I really don't!"

"Fine, fine, what should we call the snowman then?"

Roxanne hummed. "He kinda looks like Minion, no? How about Minion?"

"What? No, there's already one Minion."

"Ugh okay. Let's just call him Frosty, then. What's up with Minion anyway? You didn't want to bring him?"

Megamind looked suddenly frustrated. He sat down on the porch next to Roxanne. "I... had a bit of a fight with him. He didn't want me to come. Said if I went we wouldn't be... 'friends' anymore."

"What? Oh, I'm so sorry! Why would you even come?" Roxanne looked genuinely concerned -- she didn't want to be the cause of any bad blood between Megamind and Minion. Those two were like brothers, together through sunshine and rain.

"Because you asked me." Megamind looked right at her, his eyes as open and genuine as she'd ever seen them. Then he exhaled and completely fogged up his- or Bernard's- glasses. He chuckled. "Anyways, Minion always exaggerates. He'll be fine as soon as I come back."

Roxanne's mother's voice interrupted the moment. "Hey, you two, it's nearly dinnertime!"

They looked at each other, cleared their throats awkwardly. Megamind helped Roxanne up and they went inside.

"So what did you call the snowman?" Asked Mrs Ritchi.

"Oh, um, just Frosty. You know, the usual."

"Bo-oring!" Mrs Ritchi teased, and Megamind understood where Roxanne got her biting remarks from. "And he doesn't even light up. Really, I have no idea why you dislike the plastic ones so much."

"Because they're a constant reminder of how companies in the west abuse foreign workers and exploit the idea of 'holiday spirit' to make an ungodly amount of money that could instead be used to solve social problems around the globe?"

Mrs Ritchi gave her daughter a look of "really?" and Megamind gave a snort-laugh. Roxanne shook her head and sighed dramatically as she took off her boots. "Nobody in this house understands me. You're all slaves under capitalism.”

"Oh, shut up. You've always loved Christmas decorations. Mike, has she told you about that one Christmas-"

"Uh!" Roxanne called out. "That's enough of that!"

"No no, please do tell," said Megamind, smiling cheekily at Roxanne.

"Oh no you don't," warned Roxanne, before grabbing Megamind and forcefully shoving him in front of her. "I'll give Mike here a house tour now."

They paced around the room, Roxanne sighing at every decoration. "I'm not actually a communist, you know."

Megamind laughed. "I guess even you can't withstand the allure of cheap plastic."

"Oh, oh you're one to talk?" Roxanne said, faking her outrage. "I know an underground outlet store in Romania that would beg to differ."

"Okay, Minion was never supposed to let you know that in the first place, you know! Makes my credit as a supervillain look weaker."

"Ha! As if it wasn't weak in the first place." She chuckled. "Hey, let me show you something."

They walked up the stairs, through a corridor, and landed in a small room with bare walls. The ceiling was low on one side, and there was a window through the roof.

"This used to be my room," said Roxanne.

"Why is it empty?"

"When I moved out I took some of my stuff with me, threw some away. My parents had no need for a room full of things they never used, so it's just been empty since then."

"Seems pretty out of use to me."

"They want to turn it into a studio or something." She went to the sloping ceiling and laid down on the wooden floorboards right under the window. "I used to lay here at night, especially if it was clear. I used to wonder a lot about what was out there."

Megamind went to lie next to her. "I used to stay up and look at the stars a lot, too. Or think about them, since prison cells usually don't have windows."

Roxanne turned her head to look at him. "You were in prison as a child?"

"I mean, I lived there, so yeah I guess."

They were silent for a moment. He could feel the warmth radiating from Roxanne's body.

"Were you born on Earth?" She finally asked. He swallowed, fixing his eyes on the dark sky outside the window.

"No. I came to Earth in an escape pod as a baby."

She hummed along. "What was Space like? “

It was his turn to turn to her. He examined her features; the gentle curve of her nose, the defined cupid's bow. Her full cheeks, her dark eyelashes, the little dot by her lower lip.

"Space was terrifying. Beautiful. I've never experienced anything like it."

"I went out at night once, to a lake nearby. The stars were reflected in the water, and everything else was completely black. Floating there was scary because it really felt like I was out there, unsure of how to get back."

"Yeah." Megamind said. "Space is exactly like that."

Roxanne sighed. "Sounds like you and I both were pretty lonely as kids."

"You were lonely?" There was clear surprise in his voice, and she wasn't sure if he was mocking her or not. "The kids in my class were... quite exclusionary. I never really had any friends."

"It's a shame we didn't go to the same school, then." Said Roxanne, smiling. "I was always the kind of weird one, I was too curious, had too much ambition. And that wasn't attractive." She put on the snarky voice again. "Suck it, Ethan from junior high!"

Megamind laughed. "I really would've liked to have met you as a child."

They stayed for a few more moments in the dark, before Roxanne cleared her throat.

"We should probably go back, it's almost time for dinner."

"Right," said Megamind, although he would have rather stayed there forever.

--

"So what do you do?" Asked one of Roxanne's family members. Megamind stopped mid-bite, trying to think of a convincing lie.

"I'm, uh, I'm a physicist." He bit his tongue. They would ask at which university, or which company, or something. "Kind of freelancer right now."

"That's new," said a woman, who was named Evelyn if he remembered correctly, "a freelance physicist, huh?"

"Yeah! Isn't it cool!" Added Roxanne, only slightly panicked. Megamind chugged his drink nervously.

"What do your parents do?"

His mood fell instantly. He tried to smile to cover it up, but it felt really fake so it probably looked horrid. "My parents actually, um, they died in an- an accident when I was young."

"Oh my, that's horrible! I'm so sorry for your loss." Mrs Ritchi put a hand on his shoulder as she passed. He nodded thankfully at her. Some other sympathetic words and smiles were aimed at him.

"So where are you from?" Asked another person.

"Uh, Metrocity?"

The dinner table fell silent for a moment, before erupting with laughter.

"Oh, is that a reference to that little blue dude?" Said someone else, "brilliant!"

Megamind met Roxanne's eyes, and they both had to keep their laughter contained.

"Yeah, Megamind," said Evelyn, and Megamind's spine snapped straight. "He's pretty interesting."

"What do you mean?" Megamind asked. Roxanne eyed her cousin intently.

"Oh it's nothing," Evelyn smirked, "I had my agency look into him a couple of months back. He likes to put on a show of being evil, but he's actually that anonymous donor to the Orphan Childcare Foundation. You know, the one who takes first place each year?"

Megamind swallowed, staring at his hands. Or Bernard's hands. They were an odd flesh color, when they should be blue -- but right now he was so thankful for Bernard. Now would be a bad time to have a different skin color. He watched the seconds tick by on his watch.

"What?" Roxanne's voice was almost breathless, absolutely unsure of what to believe.

"Yeah, and there's more," said Evelyn, making Megamind question every choice he had ever made -- how could someone have found out so many things? "Apparently, he's a real big deal in the criminal world. He organizes a lot of the gang activity to make sure there are less gang wars... you know how the murder rate dropped after he and Metro Man debuted? Well, if you ask me, that's not really Metro Man's merit."

Roxanne's gaze turned to him, completely baffled by her cousin's words.

"Haha, well," Megamind said, trying his hardest to keep his voice steady, "you can never fully trust those investigations! Everyone knows how important Metro Man is to Met- the city."

The rest of the dinner guests began taking away the dishes, and so Roxanne cleared both of their plates from the table and asked Megamind for a word. Alone. He sighed internally -- this wasn't a good look.

She said they would go out for a stroll, and suddenly they were outside in the cold darkness. They walked in silence for a good while, until they got to a frozen-over body of water. Then Roxanne broke the silence.

"Ugh, can you turn that off?" She asked, almost irritated. Really, she was embarrassed. "The disguise."

"What? Why? What if someone sees?" He asked, totally confused.

She shook her head forcefully. He furrowed his brows, concerned. "I don't want to look at Bernard's face, I want to see yours."

He was stunned to silence for a few seconds, only able to breathe the word "what" once more. Roxanne lost her patience and grabbed him by the arm, turning the dial on the watch herself. The image of Bernard flickered a few times, almost like a glitch on a computer screen, before it disappeared. What was left was that beautiful shade of blue, his eyes finally back in the face in which they belonged.

"That's better." Roxanne said forcefully. Then she turned around and continued walking.

"Miss Ri- Roxanne, why do you want to see my face?" He asked, forcing his voice to be calm and collected as he jogged to catch up with her. She looked straight ahead, eyes fixed furiously, on the path in front of her. "Are you... mad at me?”

Her shoulders tensed up. "Is it true, what my cousin said?"

Megamind contemplated lying for a few seconds, but ultimately decided he didn't want to lie to Roxanne. "It's true," he said with a sigh.

"Oh, god damn it." She said.

"What?" His voice trembled, panic rising up. Had he lost credibility? Why was she so angry?

"Why didn't you tell me? Why do you play the game of supervillain when you're actually helping everybody?"

"I'm- uh-" he tried to collect his thoughts, "I think... um, Metrocity wants symbols and I just... became that symbol? Someone needs to be a challenge for your boyfriend in tights too, Miss Ritchi."

She turned around, furious, hot tears burning in her eyes. "Roxanne. It's Roxanne. And he's not my boyfriend, he never was my boyfriend!"

"You- what?"

"Metro Man and I were never a couple. It was just easier like that, so no one would ask any questions." She wiped at her tears angrily. It was embarrassing, and she didn't even really have a reason to cry. "And I didn't want to tell you because then you would stop kidnapping me and then I would not have an excuse to talk to you anymore. And now I've just found out that you're actually the hero in this whole thing, aren't you? And I'm so mad at myself that I wasn't able to find that out on my own."

"Wait, wait, what are you talking about?"

"Which part?" Roxanne said in a bitter tone, the half-joke not really landing.

"Why would you want to talk to me?"

She sniffled, wiping at her face angrily once more. "Ugh, for being so smart, you're really stupid sometimes."

"I don't... understand," he said.

She dropped down into the snow, face in her hands. "Why do you think I asked you to come with me here?"

"To the lake?"

"Oh, you idiot. Here to my parents' town. Why do you think I want to talk to you, and why do I want to see your face, and why does talking to you brighten my day, and why do your eyes give me butterflies in my stomach? Why do I feel this much for someone who's never going to feel the same way, why am I so stupid?"

He dropped to his knees in the snow, too, landing right in front of her. "What are you talking about?" His voice firm and steady now. "Why wouldn't I feel the same?"

Roxanne finally looked up, meeting his eyes. They glimmered in the faint light from the moon, the only source of light by the lake. "You wouldn't, because I'm not your type. I'm stubborn and I complain a lot, and I'm not feminine or scared enough to be a damsel. And I'm boring and I always criticize you, and I'm not- not attractive or exciting or any of all the things you are... how could you ever love me?"

"Roxanne," his voice was breathy and low, "you are the most intelligent, beautiful, interesting person I have ever met. I've been in love with you for years, and the kidnappings -- they're just for show, just an excuse for me to be close to you in any way I can. Yes I enjoy making my machines and fighting against Metro Man, but I make them because I want to finally create something which will impress you. That's why I always explain them to you, because you're the only one who has ever truly been interested in me."

She took a shaky breath. "But I'm... mean, and I'm stubborn, and I-"

"Stop that. I love talking to you, because you challenge me, but you don't judge. You're genuinely interested and you listen carefully to what I say, so you can counter it well. You're so intelligent it fascinates me. And I can barely stop staring at you, because you're so perfect, you're so much my type that it's difficult for me to think about anything but you-"

Roxanne's fingers curled around the collar of his coat as she pulled him close. She tilted her head and pressed her lips to his. His hands went up instinctively, grabbing her her hair, the side of her face, going around her shoulders in an embrace.

They kissed for a long time, breathlessly and barely able to tear themselves off each other. Roxanne's face flushed with red, but she smiled faintly.

"Syx..." she said, and it sent shivers up his spine. "I love you."

Megamind rested his forehead against her shoulder, the happiness bubbling through his blood, he almost didn't believe it to be true.

"Oh, Roxanne, I love you too."

[leanconnoli]

You know that feeling, when you think back to the first canon queer representation you were exposed to, and then just get so fucking mad that you write a 7 page list of all the ways that is was shitty and toxic and abusive?

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

uwu i want angst and sorry if this is too triggering but is it okay to do dabi, present mic and shinsou where they get in a super heated fight w their s/o and the boys do a quick movement to run their hands through their hair or like hand gesture and its so fast their s/o thinks they’re going to hit them and they heavily flinch and then the guys find out shes had like an abusive past i love ur writing so much crie

( no, this is okay ❤❤❤ i won’t write a prompt of charas beating their s/o, but this is good. | warning for grade A asshole in dabi’s. | wherein present mic is the only one who knows how to do this lmfao. | shinsou’s a good boy who Tries. )

| dabi; headcanons.

a heated fight with dabi is like tryina cheat death. he’s a stone-cold professional with his mind on the job, but when anger gets involved there’s no more rules. yeah, that’s been a red flag from the get go, but here you both are…

dabi’s cruel when he’s angry. serious about his bonds, but cruel, and it’s never worse than when ppl take to clawing at him in word or deed; fighting with him gets nasty – if it hurts him, you’re fucked.(you piece of shit, like you’ve any more right than whatever rando you’re degrading yourself to be, fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU—)                                   nothing but absolute offensive defence. it’s all predatory while anyone he cares for (or who knows how to get to him) is taking shots at him; fixated on the kill to avoid his own pain. there is no pain, no gentility as a viable option for dealing with this (he doesn’t even know that’s a thing that really works, that he could do), no bond to preserve - nothing but rage to hide within and blind his enemies with.

          since it’s his primary mode for survival, it’s not smth he can consciously acknowledge (yet). he can’t - he needs it too much, too often.

it’s not the kind of mood where he likes his s/o, it’s not the kind of mood where he wants to be nice.

              you’re scared of him? (fire, fists, words, teeth- there’s              so much he can do–) good. you should be. 

       absolutely undoubtedly, dabi makes it so much fucking worse. had they not been fighting, it would’ve been so different – but there’s no mercy in a fight. an angry dabi is rarely safe.he doesn’t hit them, but he makes a play at it more than once until they’re a crying, triggered mess and that’s when he takes his vindication somewhere private / he’s won.            he’ll worry about whether you’re still dating after he’s figured out            whether he still wants that.

oh, the insinuations? bitch, no-one here is unhurt. and if you know dabi, you shouldn’t be stupid enough not to feel the threat. if that would scare you, fuck off you brainless–

     he hasn’t yet figured out whether you’re still worth giving a shit. shit.

| hizashi; headcanons.

the one motherfucker who handles this well from the get go, and that’s in part because with hizashi you just don’t get into… nasty fights. the rest is that hizashi is Absolutely not inclined toward scaring his loved ones and has no need for defensive rage to that extent. 

he’s got standards for himself, y’know? they’re more important than petty shock/hurt - his survival methods are so much more healthy than dabi’s, and that’s thanks to personality and opportunity.

if you’re really fighting, it’ll still be close to reason - hizashi’s emotionally healthy & would be with someone who is, for the most part, also that. as in, if you can’t talk about ur big issues like adults ( + some emotion ofc but honestly expressed, not cruelly ), he’s nooooooot gonna be in a relationship with you.      you- that’s. like. communication, bro. you need it.

first off he’ll a) absolutely notice and jump to the right conclusions thanks to experience b) wave it away bc he’s preoccupied and inclined to go ‘well it could be smth ELSE’ if he’s not completely ready to deal with it.the look on your face makes him ready to deal with it in about 3 seconds, and then he gently puts the fight on hold to ask whether he scared you, assure verbally that he wouldn’t, and give you space while asking what u need to feel safe enough to continue being arnd each other - or to not do that if u can’t feel safe.

hizashi is so good at making himself gentle - bc he is. he doesn’t need the walls & fronts to feel safe himself; vulnerability is his strength. he uses it well.

          there’s blankets involved and his express refusal to come near unless you ask him to, letting you control his proximity to you and what happens next. if you want, there are so many cuddles. if you want, there is reading apart from each other in blanket nests without focussing on anything so you can try to wind down. tea, maybe some anti-anxiety bg music, a super gentle kid’s show on tv. if you want to leave, you leave. if you want him to leave, he leaves. if you want to work through this but need a friend as a buffer, y’all call them over. hizashi will text aizawa for his own emotional support, cuz finding this out is rather upsetting for him too - fuck, he loves you, of course it is.       anything to be receptive, welcoming, and kind to your pain.

       the real anger comes when he finds out just who hurt you, and it’ll       be reserved for those names.

| shinsou; headcanons.

shinsou gets mad. 

it’s instant, thoughtless hurt while they’re already hurting each other and it just makes him defensive / he doesn’t stop to consider a better route. (can’t.) more angry, yells smth pained about them not trusting him (thinks it’s a jab since they know his buttons) – things aren’t registering as they would if he had his wits about him.it’s just hurt. yells, moves toward them too quick & makes it worse (not intentional) but is already backing off again. things sink in now & he’s a mess, so instead of doing anything that he can’t properly think through rn he just leaves. takes himself out of the situation.

he’s not stupid. between his own experiences, hero work, etc – once the fight’s a lil further in the past and his head cooled, he can look at it and see they weren’t trying to hurt him. it wasn’t fake– and that’s so much worse.        do they trust him anymore? no idea, so he waits it out / gives them both more time to settle. he’s not ready to be soft yet, but the idea of going in when he’s still on edge just breaks his heart.shit, he didn’t know this.

maybe he’s reading too much into it. yeah, maybe. he’ll ask. hopes that won’t be too invasive, draws on all his lessons to figure out a game plan; be calm, non-threatening, respectful. (he’s gonna phone aizawa, ask for advice.)he especially needs time to prepare for the possibility they won’t want to share with him. will respect it of course, but he’s so fucking worried it’d drive him a lil mental so he needs to prep to not push whatsoever - and it’s easier to focus on his worry than their fight that’s been abandoned like an open wound. 

           ‘easier’. ugh.

he goes back in when his head’s clear / phoned first to ask. he cuts right to the chase, tells them to set the boundaries if they want to meet up - make it so they can feel safe. it’s not that bad anymore, they say – although it really hurt when shinsou just left, made them fear he didn’t want smth so broken. 

                  that hadn’t fucking occurred to him at all.

and that’s such a relief they fucking both cry, ugly sobs into the phone and tentative ‘why were we fighting anyway’ - an equally careful ‘maybe we can write things out that bother us and just focus on finding a way through’. 

they meet. their s/o is a lil spooked in that trauma way you just can’t help & shinsou’s hyper caution makes it worse until they each find a balance. somewhere innocuous with ice cream and a view on a park, and they just. adjust to this new part of their dynamic, get used to each other again since they didn’t get to properly end the fight or deal with things.        there’s some unrelated talk to ease into things before they open up - just the tip of the iceberg, to test out shinsou’s capacity for it. 

he’s got a hard time looking gentle when he’s torn between hurting for them so much (and that’s… more intense than expected) and angry at himself, the situation, the things that hurt his s/o and the things he doesn’t need to punish himself for but does.

              after a while they call in the help of experienced adults (read: present mic) to deal with this; still more private than a counsellor, but still… they need the help.

they make it through. soft becomes a new/reinforced staple of their relationship and they learn way better ways to communicate thru issues, avoid actual fights.

learning to channel his anger differently also eases shinsou’s overall life / being soff w/ the bae becomes a new (and first) favourite part of his own personality (whoo boy). if he happens upon the bastards who hurt his s/o and curbstomps them somewhere in a back alley, well. that’s more aizawa’s influence.