#also i am fully aware this is not a last line but whatever i liked the last paragraphs soo....

[princekirijo]

Last line challenge

I was tagged by @sayheykid (thank u for the tag!!)

rules: in a new post, share the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).

This is from a lil thing I was experimenting with:

As Skull was about to object, Joker stopped causing the rest of the party to come to a halt behind him. They'd reached the end of the corridor they'd been travelling down. The hall had been fairly uneventful, something they needed after the disaster that was the previous floor, Riku still winced when he thought about how close that blade trap had come to knocking his head off.

"Anybody see any other doors on the way down?"

The thieves shook their heads.

Joker sighed, "well guess the only way forward is through this door. Let's just get this over with."

Nodding in agreement they all braced themselves. Hopefully there would be a safe room close by, the tower was really starting to do a number on all of them

I'm gonna tag @ragecndybars @latenitewaffles and anyone else who would like to give it a go :3

[slasher-fxcker]

Slashers seeing their future S/O for the first time

Part 1

Including: Billy Loomis, Bo Sinclair, Jason Voorhees, Lester Sinclair, Stu Macher & Vincent Sinclair.

Warnings: Mentions of death, slashers being slashers. This page is 18+ Minors do not interact.

A/N: Okay this is my first post on here so any and all feedback is welcome! Also, there will be a part two, I will be including all the slashers I write for I just got a bit carried away and I thought it was a bit long for one part lol. Second part will include Michael Myers, Thomas Hewitt, Billy Lenz, Brahms Heelshire and Jesse Cromeans.

Billy Loomis:

· This was meant to be an easy kill for Billy. Some geek that showed up at a party he shouldn’t have been at, Billy had been watching him for most of the night when he saw his target getting ready to leave. He started heading to the closet he hid his Ghostface costume in when someone crashed into him spilling their drink all down the front of his shirt.

· Billy was in two minds about whether he should give them a piece of his mind or ignore their apologies and sneak away anyway. But as he looked up whatever reply he had planned got caught in his throat. When he looked into your pleading eyes he could immediately tell how bad you felt. He didn’t realise he was staring until he noticed you were waiting for a response.

· He regains his composure and brushed off your apologies, telling you not to worry about it. You seemed relieved and he couldn’t help but smirk at how you looked around the room frantically. “Lost something?” he finally asks you, “Am I that obvious?” you laugh before holding your hand out, “I’m Y/N, Randy’s cousin.” Billy seemed to stare at your hand for a second before taking it in his and introducing himself. Maybe just this once he’d let the target go and find something worth enjoying.

Bo Sinclair:

· Getting out of the beat-up truck Bo winced as he felt the pain in his arm of the wound that hadn’t fully healed just yet. Lightly holding the spot and remembering how one of the victims had cut him good with that knife. He sighed and shrugged the thought off before walking towards the dimly lit bar. Sitting down on one of the stools and ordering a beer.

· He soon becomes aware of a man groaning angrily at one of the nearby pool tables, “There aint no way you're winning again without cheatin’” he hears the man grumble. Bo’s fairly accustomed to the usual pool bets but what does surprise him is the feminine laugh he hears in response, he turns around to see you bent over the table lining up your next shot. He feels his throat dry up at the sight of the position you’re in and the teasing smirk that’s on your face.

· “Don’t be a sore loser Jimmy,” you laugh before sinking yet another ball into its socket. Bo can barely take his eyes off you as he leans back taking another sip of his beer. You and the man seem to go back and forth in arguing about the game, and he feels like he could watch you all night. The game is coming to an end with you clearly winning, before he even thinks about it Bo has downed the rest of his beer and is walking towards you. As you’re lining up your final shot Bo slams down a couple of bills on the side of the pool table, you look up at him and he flashed his signature grin at you, “I’ve got winner,” he says as he looks you up and down. You sink your last ball before turning back to him, “You’ve got it handsome,” she smirks. Oh, you were trouble, and Bo couldn’t wait to see how this night turned out.

Jason Voorhees:

· It had been a quiet week for Jason, no campers, no teens, nothing. He had been out collecting wood for the fire when he found a small stone, he liked collecting bits and pieces from around the woods. Small knickknacks to decorate the shabby cabin he called home. The stone had five points and could be seen as almost the shape of a star, what Jason didn’t realise was he had spent far too long invested in the stone to notice someone walking on the trail nearby. The snapping of some sticks broke him out of his thoughts as he saw a figure nearby.

· Jason quickly shoved the stone in his pocket before walking silently to a spot where he could watch the trail without being spotted. He watched you from afar for a while, seeing you look around you as you made your way down the path. The way you watched the nature around you with a small smile on your face made Jason feel a warmth inside him. He followed you all the way to the camp grounds. You seem surprised to find the open space on your trip. You sat down on one of the stone seats before unpacking some lunch for yourself.

· It wasn’t long before you had gotten up and were walking around the small opening. It was then that Jason heard you speak for the first time which caused him to tense in fear. “Hey there little guy.” That was it, you must’ve seen him. He froze as you stepped towards his hiding spot only to stop a few feet in front of where he stood, where he thought he was hidden by the shrubs. But you weren’t looking at him to his relief, he saw the small squirrel perched on a branch that seemed to have your attention. He felt himself relax as he noticed this before trying to silently move further to the other side of the clearing.

· To his surprise the squirrel hadn’t run away, he must’ve smelt the food in your hand as he stood hesitantly sniffing the air. “You hungry?” you asked him rhetorically before holding out a small piece of crust for the squirrel and placing it on the branch near him. Jason watched and couldn’t help but melt at your kindness, he heard the familiar voice in his head but this time the voice was calm, telling him you needed protection, you needed him. But how was he supposed to approach you. A few minutes passed and you turned back to your seat, walking over you noticed something had now been placed where you once sat. You picked up the small stone, noticing it was shaped like a star. You looked around for someone before looking back at the stone, a small smile on your face. It warmed Jason’s heart as he prepared himself to find you more gifts.

Lester Sinclair:

· Lester found himself almost zoning out as he drove down the all too familiar road, the predictability of the same turns and sights that he saw every day seeming to get on his nerves today. Until he noticed a car on the side of the road, he hated his part in this, he tried to just shut himself off from it and think of whoever the poor bastard was that wandered their way as just a stranger, a nobody with no identity. It helped that they were usually rude to him, at least that way he felt less remorse for them. He couldn’t see the person that was hidden under the hood, probably uselessly trying to figure out what was wrong with their car.

· “Looks like you could use a hand.” He didn’t expect the slight squeal from whoever was behind the hood before you walked out, “oh gosh you gave me a fright,” you giggled. Lester was trying to pick his jaw up off the floor and string a sentence together, you definitely weren’t the first young lady to come through these parts but he sure thought you were the prettiest. “Uh, sorry ma’am.” He gulped before wracking his brain for words, “I saw you stuck here and thought you could use a hand.” You sighed before closing the hood, “Unless you happen to have a fanbelt on you, I don’t think so,” He felt the slight dread creep up as he remembered the scenario, he hesitated before spilling his usual script about taking you to see Bo. Of course, you agreed, having no other option and climbing into his truck.

· Not long into the drive you spoke, “I’m Y/N by the way,” he nodded before realising you were waiting for a response, “Oh, I’m Lester,” he responded. “Lester,” you repeated with a smile, he couldn’t help the feeling in his stomach when you repeated his name. “Well thank you very much Lester, I definitely owe you one for driving me all this way.” The more you spoke the worse he was starting to feel, you seemed kind, you were nice to him which was a welcome change, you laughed along with him instead of at him, you didn’t deserve the fate that you were walking into. As you neared Ambrose he realised he couldn’t let you die, he didn’t know how yet but he would do everything he could to keep Bo from hurting you. He knew life was going to be anything but predictable with you around

Stu Macher:

· Stu groans when the bell rings, his least favourite subject and it was the first lesson of the day. “You coming Stu?” He looks at Randy as he seems to think it over, “Nah, we’ve got Evans, I don’t need another detention from that douche.” Randy just rolls his eyes as Stu starts walking in the opposite direction, he hears Randy grumble some smart-ass comment to himself as he walks away.

· Stu was about to turn towards the entrance when he heard you curse to yourself, he glanced at you before turning the corner. “Woah,” he stopped in his tracks before backing up back into the hallway and looking you over again. You must be new, he definitely would’ve remembered you if he had seen you before. You're too engrossed in the paper in your hands to notice someone coming up to you and leaning against the lockers. He puts on his cheesiest grin before getting your attention “Hey there,” you almost jump out of your skin as you drop your books.

· “Oh man I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Stu apologises as he crouches down and begins to pick up your things, you join him in picking up your books, “No don’t be, I should’ve been paying more attention,” you give him a soft smile before standing back up as he passes you some of your belongings, “You must be new, haven’t seen you around here,” you just nod before continuing, “actually, i’m having some trouble finding my class,” he looks over the schedule you had been engrossed in. “Oh that’s actually where I’m headed, I can take you if you’d like,” he couldn’t help but smile at the way you beamed up at him as you agreed.

· The walk was filled with Stu making you laugh, as you neared the class he seemed to slow down and began talking to you again. “You know, I’d be happy to show you to your other classes if you need help finding them after this?” you agreed and he walked into the class with you. A big smile on his face even after being reprimanded by your teacher. “I thought you weren’t coming,” Randy whispers to him, “Yeah something changed my mind,” he replied, not taking his eyes off you. Maybe this class was worth showing up to.

Vincent Sinclair:

· Vincent had been in the museum, positioning his newest artwork. He stared at it with a slight tilt of his head, questioning every stroke, every pose and every colour. He couldn’t help it, he knew he was good at what he did but insecurity still nagged at every decision he made. He was in his own world when the creak of the front door broke him out of his stupor. Bo had told him a small group of victims would be heading down to the museum while he worked on ‘finding’ a fan belt for them. Vincent was quick to move to his usual hiding spots to watch them.

· Vincent hated how loud this group was, joking and making fun of his art. “You have to be pretty sick to make any of this.” One of the guys spoke up, Vincent immediately started thinking of how he would hurt this man. It wasn’t until a softer voice spoke up that he noticed the girl trailing at the back of the group, “Come on guys, don’t be so rude. Someone must have put a lot of effort into these.” It was then that Vincent could finally make out your form, you seemed quiet even when speaking up for him, defending his work. Vincent wished he could get a better look at you. The man scoffed, “Okay art freak.” Vincent saw the way you practically flinched at the insult before turning away from the group to go and look at some other pieces.

· Vincent felt angry, the man would definitely suffer. He made his way closer to where you were, staying hidden as he watched you from afar. He could tell the insult had hurt you and this only made him angrier. You seemed to pause as you squinted closer to the art work on the wall, brushing some dust off the framing. “Vincent,” you read the signature to yourself with a small smile on your face, Vincent stilled when he heard you. He wasn’t sure what it was but something about hearing you say his name struck a chord in him. He was more than intrigued by you, he felt drawn to you in a way he had never felt before. He wasn’t sure what this meant but whatever it was he knew Bo wouldn’t like it.

[fortunapre]

This part is definitely my favorite so far...

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𖧞 16+(suggestive), fluff, there’s definitely romance going on, fem-gender mentioned, Use of Y/n, swearing

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𖧞 oscar piastri x fem!reader

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𖧞 (scene iii) 2.3k i got carried away…

𝐀/𝐍𖧞 AHHHH ITS STARTING! thanks everybody who’s been interacting, following and reading! should i start a taglist? this is all new to me, but lemme tell ya, it’s def fun! anyways enjoy :)

Go back? (scene i) click here.

Go back? (scene ii) click here.

𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𖧞 Scene iii 𖧞 (𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧...?)

Tuesday, December 11th, 7:06 pm

“Seriously? What kind of question is that?” Oscar criticized me while moving his knight. “Come on mate, do better.”

It’s not my fault my mind went blank. How else am I supposed to react while playing chess? Of Course I'm putting all of my brain power into the game, because I have a burning desire to beat Oscar. Across from me, however, Oscar’s obviously beating me with ease. How was I supposed to know Oscar only wanted to play chess because apparently he’s a prodigy?

“What do you mean? My questions are perfectly fine, just answer.” I stared at the board in front of me, and the lack of pieces I've taken from Oscar. Then across from me, basically everything except my knights and king are lined up, having been taken by him. Ugh.

“Yeah, whatever,” I heard him mumble before he looked at me. I think this is the first time we’ve made eye contact since we started. “Um, I don’t listen to alot of music but something by The Neighborhood probably.”

Safe to say, I was baffled. My question was ‘What song would play in a movie about your life?’ I thought the question was pretty good, and was fully expecting some niche house music song to be his answer. But he’d surprised me. Yet again. Oscar’s surprised me a lot today actually. Maybe it’s just because I've also been paying more attention.

“Really? The Neighborhood? That’s my favor-” I began.

“Your favorite band.” He finished for me. “I know, I hear their music coming from your room practically every day.” He almost mumbled the last part.

“Um,” I wasn’t aware he was paying attention to anything I did, let alone my music taste. I was kind of shocked but decided to dwell on this new information later. Instead I said, “Ok, your turn.” I moved my king to the right.

Instead of firing questions like he was earlier, Oscar looked like he was really trying to think of a worthwhile question, given he probably only has a few left.

“Do you remember Christmas, two years ago? What happened…” He finally said. He looked up from the game, into my eyes looking for a reaction to his words.

My mind started whirring. Why would he ask that? What is he talking about? What happened two years ago?

We would have been 20, and I know that was the year the twins stayed at a friend's place instead of coming along. But… what could he possibly mean by that. What happened?

“Sorry?” I asked because maybe I’d miss-heard him.

“2 years ago. Christmas. In this cabin. Do. you. Remember?” He looked determined to get an answer from me. Like my answer mattered.

“I, uh, I don’t remember. What happened?” My eyebrows were scrunched together, genuinely confused by this.

As I answered, I watched Oscar’s worried expression slip away, replaced with relief. “Nothing important.” he said. He refused to meet my eyes as I watched him carefully, trying to make sense of his sudden switch-up.

“Ohh kayy,” I said slowly, “now my question.”

He nodded, watching me move. My pawn reached the end of the board, meaning I could trade it for a taken piece. I opted for my queen, obviously. I tried to move quickly, grabbing the plastic piece from next to him. I had to basically crawl over the chess board to reach my queen, moving awfully close to Oscar, himself. Once I replaced the piece, before moving back, I looked up to Oscar.

I smiled at him because of my new advantage in the game. But once I looked up, my smirk dropped and my breath hitched. I was a lot closer to his face than I thought. One small move and my lips could so easily touch his-

I quickly sat back down and folded my arms into my thick sweater, suddenly feeling awkward about the thoughts plaguing my mind. He smelled nice, like pine and spearmint.

Oscar cleared his throat and said, “Make this question better than the last.” He sort of laughed, low and awkward. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he joked. “Don’t be boring.”

I laughed awkwardly. Then, I thought about what I wanted to ask. What do I want to know about Oscar Piastri? As I thought, my eyes traveled over him, looking for inspiration. He was leaning back, now, on his arms. His sleeves were still rolled up and on his wrist was a small, braided bracelet. Orange and black: it must be from a teammate.

My eyes traveled to the rest of him. His hair was messy in the front, and darker than I remembered.

He started moving around, situating himself so that he was now laying on his side, head being held up by his hand. He was watching me, waiting for me to say something.

I finally thought of a question, and before I could properly think about what I was about to say, it slipped off my tongue.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

His eyes widened and he cleared his throat. He was definitely not expecting that. His free hand, that was fiddling with a chess piece, froze. He almost looked like he had stopped breathing as well.

“Because you’re annoying, that’s why.” He joked, looking down. “You terrorize me any chance you get. Obviously, that doesn’t make me very fond of you.” he went back to fiddling with the chess piece, refusing to meet my eyes, and I could tell his answer was true. But it wasn’t everything.

“Really?” I questioned.

“Yeah, really.”

“What else?” I asked again, wanting to hear his full opinion. I don’t know what made me suddenly interested in his view of me, but curiosity was burning in my mind.

“That’s two questions, you gotta wait for me to ask something…” He tried to argue, but I needed answers.

“What. Else.” I was determined. His eyes bore into mine, suddenly understanding that I wasn’t going to let him get away from answering.

He nodded and then said, “your voice. Something about it makes me want to stay away. Same with your eyes.” He went on. “I don’t know what it is, but they just make me feel….”

He didn’t finish that thought and instead moved on. “Another thing is your attitude. Your so fucking snarky. Some of the things you say and the things you do make me want to just lock you outside, so I don’t need to be near you.”

I didn’t know what to say. Honestly, I don’t know what I was expecting. He genuinely seemed to hate me, which shouldn’t be surprising. But I think something in me was hoping this mutual hatred could fizzle out after some clarity.

“Ok.” is all I said. “Your question.”

It didn't take him long at all to think of a question this time:

“Why do you hate me?” He used my same words against me. I should have expected he wanted answers as well, and I didn’t hold back.

“The way you act. You act all saint-like around others but when it’s just us, you patronize the hell out of me. I’ve tried to explain how annoying you really are to someone, but they never believe me, because to everybody else, you're Mr. Perfectly Fine.” I rambled, my voice slightly raising. “It's just SO tiring. And also,” Once I'd started, I couldn't stop. “Your stupid smirk you do, God, I want to just wipe it off! And your voice as well. When it gets all deep when you tease me and joke, I just…” I stopped myself and let out a long sigh.

There was silence as he took in everything I said.

A beat later he spoke. “Wow, Y/n, why don’t you tell me what you really think.” Oscar teased, breaking the silence. I glared at him, rage filling my eyes.

“You asked, I answered.” I said sharply. Suddenly, I wanted to go back to my room, as far away from him as possible. I rolled my eyes and stood up, about to leave. I was about to start walking away when Oscar got up and grabbed my arm, stopping me.

“Wait,” he started laughing. “Wait, Y/n. Now I know why you hate me so much! It's just that... I wasn’t aware of just how much. It’s a little funny.” He wasn’t taking anything serious, just grinned. “Come back,” he tried. “I’m bored, just finish the game.”

I looked at him. Really looked at him. His grip on my arm had loosened but it was still there, holding me. I went to pull my arm away, but his grip only tightened, as he pulled me closer.

His face was now closer than before. His smirk had dropped, and his eyes were looking into mine. I watched his eyes flicker to my lips, to my eyes, and then back to my lips.

He smelled like pine and spearmint. His scent filled the space between us, or lack thereof. We just held in place, inches apart. My heart was still beating from the anger I was feeling before. Except now, my heart was beating from something else entirely. I couldn’t tell you what happened in the next few seconds but the proximity between us plus the heat of his touch must have flipped something in me.

I tilted my head up slightly, my nose barely brushing against his. We held there for a bit, both of us unsure. But the longer we stayed close the more desire built and beat against my chest. I met his piercing gaze and then closed my eyes, moving a little closer. I was still hesitant, but Oscar didn’t hold back. He took my movement as an invitation and crashed his lips against mine.

I took my arm out of his grip and moved to grasp the front of his hoodie with both hands, pulling him closer. I had no idea why this was happening or why it was happening right after we just proclaimed our hatred for each other, but I couldn't care less. His hands moved to my hips, pulling us flush together. He titled his head to the side, deepening the kiss. His hands moved slowly under my sweater touching the skin of my hips.

My skin burned under his touch. I gained sudden confidence and put my hands in his hair, tugging at the ends. The kiss was heated and intense now. Our lips moved in sync, devouring each other like lovers who haven't felt each other in ages. As his hands felt me and gripped harder, I gasped. It gave him an opening to slip his tongue between my lips.

Knowing Oscar for as long as I have, I never would have imagined how good of a kisser he was. But why would I, imagining what Oscar’s lips feel like was never ever something I’d ever think of. At least it didn’t use to be.

Now, the feel of him is all that's on my mind. Our tongues danced around each other, discovering. His taste was intoxicating and I couldn't get enough. Oscar’s teeth dug into my bottom lip, pulling slightly, making me release a small breathy noise from the back of my throat. Oscar made a similar noise and started walking forward, moving me with him. My back hit the wall softly.

Oscar pushed his hips into me more than before, and his hands traveled higher up, grazing my ribcage with his knuckles. His touch was driving me insane. I brought my hands around his neck, pulling closer, if that was even possible.

He let out a low moan into my mouth and kissed me harder.

My mind was going hazy from the kiss. Our teeth and tongues clashed and fought, wanting to be as close as possible. I felt the heat of Oscar’s entire body on mine. Everywhere. Heat pooled in my lower stomach and lust filled my every thought.

Oscar held nothing back as he used a hand to grab my chin. He moved my head to the side, unlocking our lips. I felt cold at the loss of his lips and took in a deep breath. But not a second later, his lips attached to my neck, sucking under my jawline. The spots he kissed turned sensitive and warm. I wanted his lips everywhere. He traveled lower, sucking, licking and biting.

I was loving the attention he was giving my neck but was more desperate for his lips to be back on mine. I pulled him back to me and kissed him. Both of us were breathing heavily and our lips were becoming swollen.

I couldn’t stop, though. He felt so good.

I let out a moan into his mouth when I felt his lower body push against me. My hands went back to his hair, messing it up further.

Just then, the door opened and I heard our families walk in the door. Where we were positioned, they couldn’t spot us immediately.

“Guys, we're back!” I heard my father yell, and I pushed Oscar away from me, hard. He stumbled back, looking wild. His lips were red and his face was flushed. God, post-makeout Oscar was sexy, but that’s not what’s important right now.

The fact that I even know what a post-makeout Oscar looks like is insane.

What. The. Fuck just happened. Everything suddenly cleared and I felt immense confusion and embarrassment.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and walked away from Oscar, who looked dazed. I left him and went to my parents. Their hands were filled with brown paper bags of what looked like Christmas decorations.

They didn’t look at all like two people who just saw their daughter hardcore making out against the wall, thankfully. My face was burning so incredibly hot with embarrassment and simmering lust. I smoothed down my hair and put on a big smile.

“Hi!” I squeaked higher than normal. “You guys have fun?,” I asked, trying to sound normal.

“Yes, we did! Look at this honey, we found a small boutique with all of this cheap decor for the cabin. The Piastris bought just as much as we did so this place will be looking super festive in no time.” My mom had a huge smile on her face as she spoke. The twins walked in the door soon after, noses red front the cold.

“There was also this neat little bookstore I bet you would have enjoyed.” My father added.

I watched as my sister looked me up and down. She smiled a little while looking around, no doubt for evidence of something. She caught sight of Oscar and I’s unfinished chess game and then began searching intently around the room. She looked at me again and tilted her head. “Where’s Oscar?" she finally asked.

At her question, I looked behind me where I had left Oscar minutes before, but he had disappeared.

“I, um, I don’t know.” I answered truthfully.

“Here!” I heard from upstairs. He must have bolted up there earlier, because he looked normal again. His hair was fixed and he looked less tomato-y. “I’m right here, I was just in the bathroom.” He called, while jogging down the stairs. He caught my gaze and quickly looked away, putting on a smile for our parents.

“Have fun?” He asked the twins, ignoring me as best as he could. But I was just staring at him.

What have we done...

(scene iv) CLICK HERE

pinterest-piece 𖧞 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐢𝐜

[artdcnaldson]

whatever i'll rewrite!!!! tumblr you will not win over me buddy. also if anyone thinks i'm day drinking or something, it is 11 pm here, i am within my right to be tipsy 🙏 idk if i'm able to cook up anything toooooo elaborate atm, but pervy art 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 loved loved loved that thing you just wrote RRRAAAAAHHHH WOOOF. need him to take advantage of me fr y'all, like over the line shit. i'm so sorry y'all this is probs a coping mechanism. but need him to live the rest of his life in guilt over what he did to me, meanwhile i'm fully unaware and unaffected. but like need him to spike my drink or something, maybe he really likes me and doesn't think he has a chance with me. so he convinces himself the only way to be with me is to "coerce" me aka against my will. need him to offer me a drink at a party, and obviously i think he's hot and sexy he doesn't even need to do anything, but he's so in his head. he tells my friends he's just gonna carry me back to my room when i get woozy, he's heading home anyway and it's on the way. but he takes me to his dorm room, i'm not even totally gone or passed out, just out of my body. vaguely aware of my surroundings but in no way capable of properly consenting (regardless of the fact that i would have if i had been sober!!!!) need him to touch me all over and need him to be unable to help himself as he slips inside me. had i been sober i would've been fucked stupid, would've been babbling about his huge cock and how sexy he is, would have been begging him to cum inside. but i'm not. but he does it anyway..... brings me back to my room after cleaning me up. maybe he never speaks to me again, maybe he befriends me and pretends we've never met before

idk y'all honestly i'm sorry 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 no worries if this is too much 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 gonna book a sesh with my therapist LOL clearly we've not worked through all the stuff

love you cat!!!!!

-🐞

LOVE U LADYBUG ANON <3

TW NONCON beneath the cut

auauauuurrghhhh something about him feeling sooo guilty and you just not knowing anything happened 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

He doesn’t think he can have you he just needs one night and it’ll be out of his system, right? And you won’t remember, so it will be like it never happened. And you take him so willingly, limp and you smell so good beneath him when he buries his head in your shoulder and fucks into your pliant, willing cunt. You’re just so relaxed for him, he didn’t know it would work *this* well. Mouths at your neck as he buries himself balls deep inside and just humps ingo your pussy :((( he cums so fast, pets your hair, makes sure you’re still okay. Cleans you up so carefully, kisses your sweet, still lips, then carries you back to your dorm.

And the next day you “run into him” and thank him for being your hero and taking you back to your dorm, that you must’ve been really out of it bc last night was a blur. Tell him he’s really sweet, and it means a lot.

He thought he’d feel better that he got away with it, but he just feels a little (a lot) sick.

[bruciemilf]

My favorite Damian headcanons (as a POC myself) are the ones where he does POC things that're incredibly niche but also very widespread POC experiences

Commenting on how horror movies have no realistic people of color because otherwise they'd last less than ten minutes.

Responding with "is it because I'm not white" to every single criticism.

Bruce tries to get him to wear a suit and he's like "😐 I can't believe you're erasing my culture like this".

Jason calls him a demon and he tells Bruce Jason called him a slur because of where he comes from.

Refusing to try anything American he doesn't like because "I was raised with actual class".

Assuming it's a lie when Bruce says he can be whatever he wants in the future because come on now. He isn't a fool.

Saying American food is bland because he's used to food that scorches his tastebuds

Not believing in God but using religious phrases, calling his siblings faithless/godless when they annoy him, and rejecting atheism thoroughly because religion is a huge part of POC culture.

Saying "I would've been sent back to the Motherland for that behavior" whenever his siblings act out of line. It's not even necessarily true, but it's genuinely just a reflex

Joking about being beaten as a child because it's a POC bonding experience and backtracking when people freak out because no he wasn't actually hit (only a rap on the knuckles every now and then and the usual POC mother verbal abuse), it's a joke, he was joking.

Doing something dumb like sneaking out and halfway through realizing "oh my God this is white person behavior. I'm being whitewashed" and getting himself back in line

Automatically responding with "aren't you mixed?" to "yeah, but not mixed with stupid like you are"

Being awed and slightly disturbed on how much people just get away with in predominantly white homes

Being the "well behaved child" even with his bad temper because yes, he's spoiled, but he's also fully aware that he won't get away with half the shit he does if he was with his mother and enjoys his still-new freedom

^ And these are some of the general POC experiences, not to speak of the Arab-specific ones! People need to give this boy more POC trauma!

I LOVE THESE!! am not a POC so I don't have much to add; I do, however, love making fun of white people, and I'm passing that off to Damian. He sees Steph eat like, greek yogurt, and is like "i had no idea you liked spicy food. Getting adventurous, are we?"

[oysters-aint-for-me]

last night i saw kesha in concert and it was amazing obviously. but this post is not about how much i love kesha.

behind me and my friend stood three beings. they appeared to be three teenage girls, probably somewhere between 15 and 18. all three were wearing black crop tops and black skinny jeans. all fine and normal. this post is not about their outfits.

they were talking to each other the entire concert - which is fine, it's a concert, the music is loud, people are with their friends, they talk to each other. this post is not about how annoying The Youths are.

what this post is about:

i am like 99% convinced that these three "teenage" "girls" were extraterrestrials who, in order to blend in with humans during their visit here, had taken a 101 intro language class about the slang used by the current generation of english-speaking teenaged earthlings.

every single line out of their mouths was gen z slang, to the point that it was literally uncanny. they were using the slang...well, not incorrectly, at least from what i could tell as a 35-year-old, but there was something indefinably off about it. "is this giving senior year?" "oh my god it's TOTALLY giving senior year" "YAAAS KESHA" "YAAS QUEEN" "kesha's got rizz!" "SLAY" "she's giving taylor " "she's giving nicki minaj" "YAAAS KESHA!" "SLAY KESHA!" "YAS QUEEN!" "these vibes slay!" "kesha is SO based" and that was basically the extent of their vocabulary.

except it also truly seemed like they had never been to any kind of concert or performance before - except they also talked about having gone to a taylor swift concert. at first i honestly thought they were doing a bit, like, "oooh we're so dumb we don't get how concerts work hahaha," and sure, it might have been.

but in my opinion, their befuddlement happened way too often and way too sincerely to be a joke. like. near the beginning of the concert, people started dancing, like you do; these three creatures' reaction was: "We can dance here?!" if kesha left stage for a bit for a costume change or a water break or whatever, these three creatures would go, "WAIT WHERE DID KESHA GO IS SHE COMING BACK?" they were absolutely stunned and thrilled when everyone took their phones out with the lights on and held them up during a slower song - you know, like people used to do with lighters, like people do at concerts. and the encore situation utterly baffled them.

they also seemed fully convinced that another popstar was going to show up. and this led to them simply naming popstars. "nicki minaj." "macklemore." "beyonce." "britney spears." "taylor."

(yes, only "taylor" - their vocabulary class must have taught them that while "taylor swift" is her full name, human gen z girls are on a first name basis with her.)

now. if they were only confused but didn't go so hard with the gen z slang, my reaction would be, "aw, these kids are experiencing a concert for the first time (or second, i guess, if they had seen "taylor")--how sweet to see young people discover something new!"

and if the reverse was true, if they used all that slang but didn't seem so baffled by the concept of a live performance, i would simply be amused by their conversation and i wouldn't think much of it.

but the mixture of both, plus the moment when they started listing popstars, and they were all wearing the exact same outfit? you do the math.

so i put those clues together, came to the obvious rational conclusion, and now all i can imagine is those three (very enthusiastic, to their credit) extraterrestrials in their true alien forms practicing their gen z vocab:

"i have a question for you, my dear besties! macklemore: based or cringe?"

"YAS, macklemore. i have heard of this one. i believe he is based."

"me too. i am also aware of this macklemore. i too believe he is based."

"this is correct, he serves slay."

"YAAAAS, your highness."

"we are being very normal teenaged girls in this year on Earth two thousand and twenty three."

"YAS HUNTY, we are very normal, because Earth is where we are from."

"and two thousand and twenty three is indeed how we refer to this year due to one of the numbering systems that has been established by humans, which is what we are."

"YAAS KWEEN!"

"now, tell me, besties mine, would you say that ed sheeran is giving cunt?"

"yass, i believe that is based as well."

[all three nodding at each other, satisfied with their progress]

[abschaumno1]

How Not To Distance Yourself From Fandom Drama As A Youtuber

Hi,

this is addressing what Scott Smajor said on stream regarding recent twitter harrassment of Ecto. I will preempt this by saying that I have known Ecto for a few years now and I support them. I think I have made my stance on "problematic content" and antis clear in the past, but to summarise: I am against censorship and harrassment. People can and should create whatever they want. If someone has an issue with what they make they should block and move on.

With that out of the way, what did Smajor actually say?

If you don't want to go to TikTok to hear it here's a transcript:

“If you don’t know what this is about, that is fine, you can stay not knowing. But if you do, this is me mentioning it, okay? I’m gonna do it. So. I’m going to try keep this short and simple, as I just want to clear some stuff up, I do not support proshipping. And until yesterday, I had no idea what proshipping was. Um, after last MCC, I removed, uh, Twitter from my phone, and I would only use it if I was on my laptop while I was travelling to VidCon and visiting [?]. So, on Saturday I was packing up my stuff and I checked Twitter before I shut off my laptop and noticed that an artist I followed, um, was receiving death threats and hate. And, me, not knowing fully what was going on, I shot them a DM along the lines of ‘sorry you’re getting hate’. Um, and then I logged out and flew home [?]. That was my mistake, as I should not have said anything without fully reading what was going on. Um, I’d just seen someone upset and wanted to help. After I got home and found out what was happening, I realised that people were saying that my DM meant I supported it, again, I do not. Um, I immediately unfollowed the artist, and have since told them that I do not- I did not realise the full degree of what had happened. Um, since this, I have made the decision to step away from Twitter, really. Um, I’m gonna do my best not to log in to look at it, um, or if you, or someone you know, is affected by this stuff, please do find the help you need, and take steps, uh, to protect your own mental well-being, like I am. Um, I would also like to say that my boundaries, um, with fanart and such has changed, and I am no longer okay with NSFW art of me or my characters. Um, and, that is the last I am going to talk on this subject. — As I said, chat, if you don’t know what it is, or what’s going on, enjoy the ignorance, enjoy the bliss. Just, you don’t need to know anything, nothing else is happening here, we’re not talking about it, we’re not going to be answering questions in chat, that’s it. Done."

(See also this twitter thread)

I'm not gonna inspect every word in that tbh and I've talked extensively about what I think of creator boundaries in fandom before so I'll spare you guys that. But there are a few points I want to address.

"And until yesterday, I had no idea what proshipping was."

I will say that I have no idea how the term was explained to him or where he got his definition from. I do know there are various definitions floating around the internet, often biased in their approach. It might be that he got one of the definitions that was heavily biased towards the anti side. I won't judge him for that. The internet, and this discourse in particular is hard enough to navigate for someone who knows their way around it.

I will also acknopwledge that it might be hard for an outsider to understand any of it in the first place.

Which is why I think the statement "I do not support proshipping" is not the statement to make in this situation. This is not a discussion he has any experience with. And I am perfectly aware of how loud antis can get, particularly on twitter. This should not be a statement. Not just because I disagree with it. He is entitled to his opinion, as am I to my own. But because as a youtuber or any other celebrity or creative, you have to realise where your space ends and fandom begins and you have to realise that fandom will have its own rules and discussions and terms.

Honestly, it's like walking into a foreign country, reading one newspaper and starting to make statements about their politics. It can and will go wrong.

Here's the thing. If you truly think you have to make a statement addressing this particular issue, while completely ignoring any other criticims thrown at you by a lot of the same people who are saying a lot of things about this, try and make an informed statement. And maybe think about the message your sending to your viewers.

Ecto received harrassment, suicide bait, death threads, and got doxxed on top of it all. I would think someone who's been on the receiving end of harrassment the way Scott has been would at the very basic least be able to address that.

Instead, what he actually said amounts to "I don't support them. I wash my hands of all of it. I don't care what you guys do with them."

At best the harrassers will feel vindicated and quiet down. At worst he just enabled them to find their next targets.

I don't think it matters what he (or anyone else really) thinks about the content that Ecto was harrassed over. No one has to like it. But that does not mean there should be any doubt about the fact that harrassment and doxxing are wrong and that there should be no space for that. Not suppporting someone is one thing. Being someone with a platform who makes a statement like this, effectively giving in to people who have harrassed someone with a vastly smaller platform, without even mentioning that the harrassment is not okay, is a very different thing.

I understand that Scott might also be trying to protect his own mental health. I understand his history with twitter. But I will say that telling affected people to "take steps to protect your own mental well-being" is not the statement I personally think he should be making. I guess we'll just leave everything to the loudest, worst people then instead of even pretending what they're doing is not okay.

Hands down, the statement he made feels very much like he's saying "but surely the leopards won't eat my face". It's only been a day and MCC teams were released. The leopards on twitter are eating his face once again. And I wager I am not the only one out there who now knows that a youtuber we enjoyed watching would rather side with people who send death threats and doxx others than their victims.

[alienssstufff]

thoughts on q!dapduo ? (i’ve been thinking about their interactions during the wedding but it can be from any time period on the qsmp)

bro i fucking love dapduo. EVERY universe.

I've already spoken about them before and most definitely after the QSMPdinner event today my dapduo brainrot grows evermore >< You can probs dig for them through either the #dapduo or #stufff rambles tags yourself but here some of the links I'll be looking back on for this: >q!dapduo grieving > the guapoduo wedding arc >q!Slime's identity with Slime and Gegg >q!Quackity's identity and values

Summary of the 28/07/2023 QSMP Election Dinner: Gegg shows up to the venue (removes his armour AND his totems like a fucking idiot sorry im still heartbroken over this) and the remaining candidate members are ambushed by codes pretending to be eggs and Gegg loses his last presidential life. Slime returns as Slime and comes clean to everyone that he was Gegg all along but ElQuackity isn't so sure about this. ElQuackity and Slime have a conversation and (in chat) Slime secretly agrees to help ElQ win the election.

Out of pure impulse, I went and transcribed their whole interaction you can read it HERE

[ ramblings undercut ]

ANYWAY SO very important to know that roles and how they are perceived by others is an integral value to both Quackities' motivations whilst Slime's values are introspective, focusing more on his own identity (Slime/Gegg) rather than the outside. Throughout the entirety of the qsmp timeline, the both of them suffer near the same struggles yet respond to them differently because of their motivations which is why they compliment each other so well.

Q!Dapduo are able to sympathise and find comfort in eachother's pain simply because no one else on the island could ever experience what they're going through... Even if their way of comfort is not healthy.

Even if ElQuackity was m.i.a for a bit, before then he still considers himself close with Slime. ElQuackity learnt the assignment that Quackity was Gegg's father and went with it and most definetly caught feelings (platonic) that resonated when caring for Tilin and the other eggs. They were suffering together.

Cut to the QSMP Dinner where Gegg dies. The sadness ElQuackity felt was genuine yet bittersweet. His best friend, is finally learning to accept all parts of himself - but this is also a big turning point that the relationship dapduo have will never be the same. ElQuackity can no longer use Slime as a support structure (IN the manner that he used to at least) because he's broken free from the role that he's been given while ElQuackity has yet to do the same.

Q: No nononono you're viewing it the wrong way I think there's more to Gegg.

THIS LINE HAS SO MANY FUCKING LAYERS LIKE on one hand ElQuackity obviously is doing copium rn, but in retrospect he does have a point that Slime hasn't fully come to terms that Gegg and Slime are one in the same. They are parts of him and both sides are starting to mesh together and it's Slime's mission to better understand himself.

AND THEN ON A DIFFERENT LAYER, IF WE PIT THIS WITH THE CONVERSATION ELQUACKITY WHISPERS TO SLIME it's also really scary. Yeah he's going to use Slime to win the election, but it's also unconsciously ElQuackity's way in keeping Slime as this emotional support, and whatever this deal insinuates I am SO scared. This idea is also reinforced visually by Slime's body language as he physically backs himself into a corner by ElQuackity as he accepts the deal -- Which makes me think Slime is definitely aware of ElQuackity is trying to do and makes me wonder the reasoning as to why Slime accepts this deal.

One wants to leave but the other doesn't even know they're trapped in this together.

Q!DAPDUO .

[seefullforecast]

D.M

Captivatingly Reckless

Draco x oc

Part 1 Nott manor

☀︎☽☁︎⭐︎

They had both arrived to an evening at the Nott's home along with a handful of other families. The excuse was a send off to the children leaving for school again in a few days when in actual fact they would be neglected and forgotten about all night. Flora found this to be her favourite of all the outings her mother would drag her to. Theodore Nott was her age also, they were in the same house at Hogwarts, both going into their fifth years and Merlin they could make each other laugh. Flora and Theo would gravitate towards each other during these little get togethers to people watch. 

"Oh honestly Flora I am quite astonished!" Theo chuckled as some of his drink splashed due to his careless and over exaggerated arm gestures. 

"You can stop with the posh voice, no one is around to listen to us Theo." Flora rolled her eyes recalling the countless times she would trick him into thinking his father was approaching the two of them in the midst of their commentaries. "Besides the Attwoods need all the fashion advice they can get. Surely you can only turn so many animals into scarves, it's just barbaric." 

At this point Flora had propped her feet onto the chaise lounge along side Theo who was starting to get more comfortable. He hated these parties, they put him on edge and he couldn't stand when his father held them.

"Yeah well neither of us need to be getting an earful later tonight for speaking out of turn, or falling asleep!" Theo nudged the girl now pretending to snore. 

"Theo it's that posh boy voice, it just drones on and then next thing I know..." Flora snored loudly again to receive a hard nudge almost sending her to the floor. 

"Okay okay whatever, you're just jealous I can turn mine off and speak normally. You're stuck sounding like that forever. Before we know it you'll have a fluffy little woodland creature sitting around your neck." Theo referred to the fashion faux pas Mrs Attwood adorned and prodded at his friend to which she slapped his hand away.

"On to more pressing news however, Elise told me Pansy was asking after you. Maybe she has finally moved her sights from Malfoy to yourself Mr Nott." Flora teased Theo fully aware of the disdain the two of them held for the pug faced girl. 

"We both know your bestie Elise likes to gossip and exaggerate things though don't we Flower. And let's be honest the day pug face stops fawning over Malfoy will be the same day Trelawney actually predicts something!" A snort escaped him as he mulled over his own words.

"Don't shoot the messenger. Parkinson is probably just covering her back for when Malfoy finally caves and rejects her outright. She will need a new target, that's what leaches do they suck all of your energy and you happen to be in her line of sight behind Malfoy." Flora stated matter of factly shooting a pointed look to Theo almost warningly.

"You two already that bored that you've resorted to talking about yours truly?" A new voice drawled out startling the two. Platinum blonde hair came into view. It had grown since the last time Flora seen him. He was taller too but he still looked as pristine as ever and unlike Theo's, his shirt was still tucked in neatly.

"Ah speak of the devil and he shall appear!" Theo theatrically sang making Flora giggle and Draco playfully roll his eyes. 

Draco often found the two in a corner at these sort of functions. They never really mingled around the room. Now Draco wouldn't go as far as to say he was jealous but whilst those two could sit and chat all night to each other, his parents would showcase him to any and everyone they could find and make him converse with people he had never met. So indeed he was jealous.

"Manage to sneak away then Malfoy?" Theo questioned as Malfoy only ever seemed to talk to them for a few moments at these parties before he was back to working the room. 

"If so then you really did a horrid job because here comes your mother now with mine close behind." Flora grumbled clearly agitated as her and Theo stood up straightening their postures. 

In a moment of realisation Flora also quickly grabbed hers and Theo's glasses and discarded them on a table behind them to which Draco sent a knowing look. Flora shrugged at him and the three of them put on wide smiles simultaneously. 

Lilian Dalton and Narcissa Malfoy had been acquainted for quite some time and would often write to one another. Flora couldn't tell if they were actually friends or whether they simply kept each other company. It was clear the two didn't have many other people to turn to for solace. 

"My look at you three, you all look lovely all dressed up!" Narcissa beamed at the small group that were already starting to grow taller than their parents. Draco sent a smirk to Theo and Flora who were mumbling small thank yous. 

"Oh Draco your Mother has been telling me all about how your studies are coming along. I must say how lovely it is to hear of such excellent work." Lilian's words whether she intended it or not were icy to Flora but her smile did not falter. 

"Yes indeed I also mentioned to Lilian about how well you..." At Narcissa's input both Theo and Flora found an escape to slip away whilst the attention was on the Slytherin Prince himself. Flora thought it to be the one time she had ever been grateful for his presence. The two scurried off but not before she quickly turned back to mouth a 'sorry' and give the boy a small shrug knowing he was now outnumbered.  

Draco watched them both leave and perch themselves across the other side of the room where Mrs Attwood was now making her way towards unbeknownst to them. His line of sight drifted from his mother directly in front of him to Flora and Theo as the night went on. He couldn't seem to find an exit in the conversation. 

At this point the party was dwindling down to an end and Draco and his mother were merely waiting for his father and Mr Nott to return from the upstairs study. Lilian Dalton wouldn't leave until Narcissa did so that meant during this entire time Draco could see Flora and Theo in fits of laughter in the far corner. For some reason Theo was now wrapping a dead fox scarf around an unimpressed Flora which had him doubled over clutching his stomach. At least Elise Campbell wasn't here, the three of them would've been wrecking havoc by this point. Most likely in a strategic manner to end the dreaded evening sooner. 

"So whatever are the plans for this year Flora? The papers say Potter avoided expulsion in the end after his hearing. Fancy that, he can defeat The Dark Lord as a mere baby but struggles to make it all the way through school." Theo was now sloshing around a new drink he had picked up from somewhere and was tugging Flora to sit by him near the fire after escaping Mrs Attwood. 

"You know this is the last place we should be speaking of such topics." Flora became all too aware of some of the guests within the room. She was also aware of the select few who had left sometime ago upstairs and were yet to return, Theo's father included. 

"Besides I think what you really want to ask me is however do you catch the attention of a girl, now you have Parkinson on your tail. If you could call her a girl, I see her as more of a demon sent to bring misery to our lives." Flora held a hand to her heart to show she was there for him when he needed the girl advice he clearly wasn't about to seek out anytime soon. 

"Oh is that right Flower? I'll make sure to send pug face your way then the next time I see her since you deal with her so well, best of friends you two." His sarcastic lopsided grin earned him a playful shove but Flora's expression warned him of the severity of his words. 

"She may be horrid but she certainly does not compare to this oaf I know. Oh what was his name? Leo? No Rio? Whatever it was, this boy..." 

"Is devilishly handsome, a comedic genius, the sun of your universe that you revolve around?!" Theo interrupted before any insults could be thrown his way. 

"He wishes! No, this boy can really throw a temper tantrum like none you've ever seen." Theo was already rolling his eyes at Flora's exaggerated arm movements and mocking voice, and she was trying to say he was the dramatic one. "I remember on one occasion he refused to leave the common room to go on the Hogsmeade trip because it was raining!" This earned her an exasperated groan in response from him as he hated any time she brought this up.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you, I had a pumpkin pasty that just didn't agree with me." His eyes grew distant as he shuddered at memories that seemed to haunt him.

"Merlin forbid anyone cross you when you're not feeling your best. You really did shout at me for suggesting it wasn't the pasty but rather you didn't want to get your hair wet." Flora took a large swig of her drink and looked to the fire that was still going strong. Although she loved talking with Theo, she really was tired.

Mesmerised with the flames before her, she yawned. 

"That boring am I?" Theo had turned his head towards her, it still resting on the large armchair. The glow of the fire illuminated his face. Flora could also see his heavy eyes and hoped this meant it was getting late and the party would end soon.

"I should go find my mother, should be leaving soon." He gave her an understanding nod. The two stood and faced each other neither knowing whether to hug one another or shake hands but resulted in a simple high five before departing ways. There was no need for proper goodbyes as they would see each other soon at school. 

In no time at all Flora had spotted her mother over next to the door where herself and all three of the Malfoys were putting their coats on. 

"Ah there you are Flora, where on earth have you been?" Lilian hushed her voice slightly as she passed her daughter her coat. 

"Just keeping up appearances mother, just how you like it." This elicited a tut from her mother and a secret grin from Draco who found it amusing to watch their little squabble. He liked seeing it wasn't just his parents that were overbearing. 

"Well Lilian as always it has been a pleasure." Lucius graciously bid his farewell followed by a hug from Narcissa and a promise to write soon to her.

"And you write to me also while you're at school. It feels like you and Draco have grown so quickly, where has the time went." Flora's eyes darted to him where he seemed to be in a similar situation with her own mother. Narcissa squeezed Flora's arms before bringing her into a quick hug. 

"I shall don't worry." Lilian and Flora gave one last farewell to the three Malfoys before all of them disapparated out of the Nott home. 

☀︎☽☁︎⭐︎

Like most nights, Draco was writing in his journal upon returning home. His thoughts still lingered on the party as he tried to recall the names and faces of new people he met. It would be embarrassing for his family if he was to mix any of them up the next time he seen them. 

Minor things like remembering names seemed futile now. He felt the change that was happening, something much bigger than him or anything he could imagine. Draco wasn't stupid. He was certain it had everything to do with Harry Potter supposedly encountering the Dark Lord during the Triwizard Tournament last year. Whatever was around the corner seemed to have his mother in a constant state of worry and had his father locked away in his study all too often. 

To Draco family meant everything and that was something his mother had taught him from such a young age. She would tell him he could have anything and everything he wanted but none of it would mean anything if he wasn't with the ones he loved. Draco was sure he loved his family or at least was certain he would be upset if anything was to happen to any of them. That's what love is, isn't it? 

"Draco." His mother quietly called with a single knock already pushing his bedroom door slightly ajar. He quickly threw shut his journal and lost it amongst his bed covers. "You're still awake I see."

"You aswell." He nodded towards her as she sat herself down on the edge of his bed. She looked around his room before her eyes finally landed on her son.

"It was nice to see you with your friends tonight." She spoke as if she was trying to find anything at all to say.

"We only spoke a short time mother. The three of us aren't that close." He explained but her reaction was only of confusion. 

"You have all known each other all your lives, I find that hard to believe." Narcissa was always so sure of Draco but he was growing up quickly. Too quickly she feared. 

He was her only child and it was important she knew him. She never wanted him to think she didn't care because that would be far from the truth. She probably loved him too much that it was all she was capable of. Some nights when he was away at school she couldn't sleep because she was so filled with dread. That was because she knew what was looming. Draco may have had his suspicions but never would he come close to the actual fact of the matter. 

"Theo and Flora seem like much better company than, who is it again, Gregory and Vincent?" Narcissa had met Crabbe and Goyle a handful of times. She would struggle to tell you anymore about the two other than their names for truly they seemed to be quite frankly dull.

"Crabbe and Goyle are my friends mother, what is this about?" Draco suddenly became curious why he was being questioned of the company he kept so late at night and so close to returning to Hogwarts.

"Nothing dear honest." She sweetly smiled. "Just if anything, promise to make more of an effort with others this school year. Good friends are so important. And Flora's a lovely girl, we wouldn't want her getting into any trouble. Her mother has been telling me she's been turning into a bit of a handful as of late." Narcissa was a smart woman. She wanted Draco to be supported in every aspect of his life. His destiny was out of her hands but so help her she would do anything in her power to protect him. 

"Are you trying to ask me to spy on Flora this year so you can report back to her mother?" Draco was simply baffled and couldn't understand what his mother was trying to say to him.

"No of course not don't be silly" she began "I'm looking out for you Draco. People like Flora Dalton and Theodore Nott, you want them in your life. They're the kind of people that will have your back..."

"Crabbe and Goyle have always had my back!" Draco sharply interjected.

"But they will also be honest with you and tell you what you need to hear even if you don't want to." Narcissa finished as if he hadn't even interrupted her. "I'm not saying to betray the friends you have now but simply to consider what may be best for you."

That was not the first time in his life Draco had heard such similar words. He was always being told to sacrifice what he was comfortable with to instead endure what would make him, more importantly his family, look good. 

Draco's mother left him with his thoughts and the memory of her saddened smile. He could never truly think back on a time when he saw his mother happy. Draco feared this was what kind of life awaited him in the future and dreaded never escaping from it. 

He considered his mother's suggestions and continued writing in his journal as if to find the answers within the pages if he wrote enough. 

☀︎☽☁︎⭐︎

Read Part 2

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Hi Elli!

I saw that you've started editing on Till Death - congratulations! Do you find that you follow any particular process when editing? Have you come across any lines or sections that made you proud or happy to have written them?

Hello! :)

Uh, except for running around in a circle, screaming and crying.

First, I do a read-through directly after I've finished the last chapter, taking care of all notes I left along the way. (The dress was green, remember there's no glass windows, remove reference to x, should she buy lamp oil?)

If I am aware of any particular quirks that found their way in, I might try to kill them already. This time, I had an ungodly amount of "by the time" and "attempt", on top of normal culprits like again, still, almost, that.

Unfortunately, and don't take that as advice, I already stick it into InDesign at this point, which is a bad idea, 0/10, every further change has to be done there AND in my doc, and can mess up my layout. (I guess it does help to see it in other formats for a read — epub and pdf, but still too early.)

Then I try my best to let it rest for a while, but success is questionable. This time, I could leave me hands off it for almost all of October! :D

I usually don't have beta readers like I did this time, because before, stuff has been posted directly on Tumblr. So now I have a lot more notes to take a look at. (I do have 1-2 people who can crawl around in my google docs almost as soon as it's written, but those are also the same people who get relentlessly spammed during writing, so it's probably harder for them to tell if X makes sense, when I have talked about X to them nonstop for weeks.)

I fix whatever came up in the meantime, and pay closer attention to formatting already, because the last step is gonna be checking for widows and orphans and stuff. Sadly I do not have the attention span to do a whole check for commas etc, at some point I start just reading 😭 oh well.

I will re-read it half a year after I put it up for download and find a dozen more things I know better now and want to fix 🥺 Sometimes I do. Like today with HmW.

As for the second question, if I am fully honest, almost every single part of this WIP is something I am happy about. This is really pure self-indulgence. Every bit of pain, and suffering, and sadness, and fluff, and hope.

I liked this paragraph I came across earlier:

Instead, she reached into the pile of fabric and picked up the bracelet she had made. In the dim firelight, the glass beads looked dull, their colors barely distinguishable from each other, and her plan that had been so clear in the afternoon sun now lacked confidence. She lifted the bracelet, took a deep breath, and hoped that at least this idea of hers was going to work out.

[o5-10]

Fylgja: does your muse believe in fate? A higher power of any kind? 

Well, that's hard to say, honestly! O5-13, who I don't know terribly well, says and does things that imply that something is at play to some degree, but I certainly don't know enough about that to say. The Pataphysics Department existing also indicates this, I think. No one really likes talking with them very much. Since O5-10 is awake again, I did ask zem for input, and ze was surprisingly calm about it. You'll see what I mean. Here's what se had to say, transcribed verbatim:

Considering Thirteen, or, rather, what's wrong with xem, there is definitely something along those lines, though I lack a lot of context to understand things fully. Thirteen experiences his life in a fascinating way. His experience of time is nonlinear, I understand it to be that he is experiencing all of the events he knows about simultaneously, but I believe I am at least somewhat mistaken on that. It is not uncommon for ser to mix up tenses at times. Se will sometimes address those se is speaking to in ways that only become appropriate at a later point in time or that have not been appropriate in years. Se sometimes makes vague statements about things that will come to pass. These statements have never been wrong to my knowledge. Maybe they have and I either never knew or am forgetting. There are future events that se admits se cannot see or predict, as well as occasions where se knows something will happen, but the details are unclear, such as ser warning me I would die from overwork before questioning if that would actually be me or a different O5-10. Se has knowledge of things he was not present for and should not know about, including private thoughts that were never spoken or written in any way. However, se is not omniscient and his knowledge of these things is inconsistent and limited. At the same time as this, se lacks memory of some events that he was very much present for, even though everyone else who was present (except, perhaps, Eleven, when relevant) remembers it clearly. The only thing remotely approaching an explanation I can recall ser ever sharing is the occasional offhand remark about whether or not things have been "written," though I could not say what that means. I also remember him saying something implying he has felt forced to take certain actions in order to ensure certain outcomes, that he already knows about, occur later on. Again, I could not say what, exactly, this means. The last potentially relevant thing that Thirteen does is that he will occasionally stop what xe is doing to address some unseen entities, displaying varying affects as xe does so. I have never tried to question it. I do not know if "fate" is the best word for whatever is being dealt with, here, but I do think "higher power" fits the bill well enough. Mind, I do not understand this very well at all. Some of the Elevens seem to understand what is going on to some degree, though I doubt anyone could get a straight answer there. O5verthinking's Thirteen operates very similarly, as far as I am aware, but I do not know if ze would be very forthcoming, either, and it seems it would be rather rude to ask zem about it.

I will say that before I worked here, my beliefs were different, but now I do work here, and those beliefs have been altered. I apologize that this answer is very long as well as very unclear, but the question of fate and higher powers are very complicated by nature, and our experiences make those beliefs even more complicated.

I hope this is clear enough to make at least some sense.

--Nina Newport, Factotum

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Do you think Trixie ever had feelings for Katya?

hiyaaaaaay now thats definitely a question😭 disclaimer: this is veeeery wishy-washy and fanfiction-y, based on barely anything else but *vibes* and my observations. this is strictly my perspective, and may not at all overlap w anyone's involved. none of this should be treated as actual information (just like anything else i say, pretty much).

so the quick answer is: yes. (but "feelings" is very broad)

in depth: i am 99,9% sure the answer is yes. at some point(/s), to some degree, some kinds of feelings, definitely yes. in the beginning it (whatever it was) seemed to pair with a sort of admiartion, which im sure they still have, but back then K could have been more like a far away, untouchable, sensational concept, now K is closer and she knows her well and loves and trusts her (and she is her god. never forget that😭😭😭). like rn she for sure loves K very very dearly and very very much. do you know abt that kind of love when u r not exactly sure what box to put it into, but all that matters is that its there and its a big feeling. and maybe u would be open to it being sexual/romantic too, but u might as well be fine w nothing of the sort ever happening, u just want to keep each other close. well they seem to fall under this bracket from where i stand.

obvi we know K has vocalised her opinion on the matter back in the days pretty clearly. and i'd argue that she has kept doing so up until very recently. and i'd also argue that so did T. like, the jig has been up for a decade, i think atp its their subconscious speaking sometimes, and they might not even be fully aware of how they r coming off (for example: the way they kept describing each other when asked abt their ideal partners. like, im sure they do not spend their days actively pining for each other. but like. u see it, i see it, we all see it?). im not saying they'd be perfect together w no issues and no rough times, bc thats just not realistic at all, but i know for a fact that they do love each other so very much im not even sure what a person can do w that intensitiy. (do they love each other the most? like, im not joking here, do u remember the times they have both said things like "u r my fav person" or "i definitely love u very much" or T pressing K on who she loves the most until she said her name? like??? if things have happened in the last months then i think ppl might have fallen out of Ts line who had a chance at being higher on the list (for a few possible reasons. such as being a romantic partner and how u r "supposed to" place those ones higher. but i get that. i just also have a lot of feeling abt this, surprisingly) then they *do* do love each other the most, dont they? so its all veeery complicated w them😭

the thing i am not certain abt is if T ever called it what it was, even only to herself. bc. like she doesnt seem to be a very big fan of said possibility of said feelings towards said person regardless of whether or not its true. like yes she will float the idea as a """joke""" of K being her partner at netflick in the middle of watching something totally irrelevant. but as a sentimental deep and actual reality im decently sure she does not like it. at different times of the last decade for different reasons (understandable ones, if i might add. the worst of it is that i can easily justify everything from both ends and thats why its just so UGH bc i get it. but i still think they r silly for doing things the way they do them). i think she knows on a level of being aware of what time it is, but the most in-character thing in my head would be for her to just go "no💗 like okay i see u i hear u i cant do anything but accept the fact that there is smth but just no. we got to stop, we cant be doing this. so i will not be acknowledging anything of the sort. bye". like ik it sounds stupid spelled out like this, but what i mean is that i feel like she worked on putting these things neatly away (before they even really had a chance to form into a graspable thought), and despite the box being made of glass and a little seetrought here and there, she seems to be content abt it being as it is.

and for how things are since her break? not a single fucking clue. i couldnt even tell u if i got paid to do so. i have a few ideas, all of them being based on even more nothing of a nothing than any of my other ideas. but i am seated for whenever we will be hearing abt how things went, or just seeing how things r when she is back. hope she is doing amazing wherever she is!!

[erinarigby]

hello i am back at last. real life conspired but i am here again. I love Persona too, especially p4. I got an introduction to Jung elsewhere but p4 is where it really snapped into place for me as it demonstrated the inner conflict of "the self" the best. (p2 innocent sin also did this very well but the older games are so hard to get into and emulators are a crapshoot.)

Ok i have looked at your sketches and there's a lot of impressive work here, I like them a lot. These are interesting glimpses into supplication & what they mean to these people.

Paul kneeling & kissing John's hand is really beautiful first of all, love the way you painted Paul's hair. It's reminiscent of 1964/65 which was the peak of their love in many ways. Paul isn't just kissing John's hand here either he's running his lips over John's knuckles...can easily imagine him counting each one. Paul's thing about John's hands really coming through, he's in absolute bliss tenderly holding one of John's hands in both of his. Love the detail of his lips being parted bc Paul is running the tip of his tongue over John's hand as well. This is a way for Paul to finally act out his devotion to John as well as the erotic worship of John's hand. Paul is once again shutting his eyes to deepen his enjoyment of this moment. Love how slack and open his face is as he kisses John's hand, he's fully in the moment & completely enveloped in this experience. Also!!! you included Paul's hairy forearms, adore!

Also greatly appreciating the traditional note to this as Paul is clearly on his knees before John as he worships John's beautiful hand. Paul makes himself vulnerable here for the sake of loving John. Paul's favorite part of John is clearly his hands and his nose and eyes. (John's myopic dark eyes get a few shout outs in at least one of Paul's songs.) Paul saw the chance to lavish attention to John's hand and took it. Did he hesitate before doing so or did he throw himself into it? No sign from the image itself so we have to fill that part in. If Paul did hesitate then he's clearly shed those inhibitions as of the moment captured in the sketch.

What I love most though is how loose and relaxed John's hand and forearm are. No tension, he's just letting Paul do his thing. John's demeanor & expression are once again left for us to fill in. Tentative? Bewildered? Hopeful? Fulfilled? Whatever it is he's at least comfortable with seeing where this goes. Personally I think he's soaking up the attention with awe & some shyness.

Despite all this though Paul is still at a distance. Not that there's anything wrong with being John's supplicant but he's at an arm's length from John. Lovers prefer to remain close so what is keeping Paul at a distance? Is it the wall around his heart? What personally flashes through my mind is that Paul is apologizing for something and the best way to do that is to demonstrate himself physically. He's on the floor in front of his lover and pressing kisses to the back of his hand while John stands above him, at a distance. Maybe Paul has to earn his way back to face to face affection.

The WIP sketch underneath it is really interesting. One simple change -- Paul's eyes are open -- transforms the tone of the entire thing. Paul is no longer lost in the moment of loving John. Now he's fully aware and feeling something else. He's distant again like he was in The Cigarette Kiss. It feels more calculated though maybe not malicious.

p4 was my first persona game, also p2 is absolutely my fave game ever. but i won’t go into detail about what they mean to me because this is my beatles blog lmao

but, holy shit, this is a beautiful interpretation. thank you for enjoying my art! i’ve always been really fascinated by obsession, devotion, and desperation when it comes to relationship dynamics. i’m just very drawn to where love borders an unhealthy line? it’s just really intriguing to me. i really like exploring physicality too, i don’t see human bodies as inherently sexual i spend a lot of time doing figure studies which means i look at a lot of nude people. but i appreciate some good eroticism and sensuality, but i like it to be subtle, i want the audience to come to their own conclusions.

thank you for noticing the arm hair, i forgot it the first time and i had to compensate everyone.

i’ll continue my response in the next ask since these two drawings are connected (about the john one)

[grayintogreen]

WIP Wednesday

Work on Chapter 36 is coming along swimmingly. It's a little under half done so I'm thinking it won't be late depending on how complex some of these, uh, particular scenes get.

Here's a nice, light-hearted scene proving that even after that horrible cliffhanger, there's still some joy... hah.

Also featuring a surprise guest!

-

A tall drow in fancier armor than his fellow soldiers with an ornate glaive on his back suddenly broke from a conversation he was having to jog towards them. “Essek!”

Essek planted his feet so that when the other drow grabbed him in a hug and attempted to pick him up, he couldn't actually lift him. The stern, stubborn set to his expression never changed. “Hello, Verin.”

Verin huffed and puffed from the exertion of trying to best whatever gravity spell Essek had placed on himself and then gave up. “Hey, yourself. What're you doing here?” He glanced over the top of his older brother's head- now that Caleb could get a good look at him, he could see the distinct familial resemblance. “Are these your friends? Hey! How much did he pay you? Because if he has to buy you off just so I'll stop nagging at him for not being social enough, it's not really friendship.”

“He didn't pay us. We like Essek,” Jester said, a bit stubbornly. She walked up to Essek and wrapped an arm around his and found his gravity spell still held when she tugged at him- he didn't budge.

“Light shine down upon us all, there can be miracles.“ Verin thrust out a gauntleted hand for Jester to shake. ”Taskhand Verin Thelyss. A pleasure to finally meet the people who have utterly confused and confounded my brother.“

”Verin please,“ Essek hissed. ”As much as I am thrilled for my friends to experience your insufferable charms for themselves, this is important.”

When his brother relented, Essek explained everything they had experienced and a handful of things he was aware of in regards to Jayne. For all that Verin seemed keen on jokes and pettily poking at his older brother, he could go deadly serious when it clearly counted. Not entirely unlike Fjord in that regard- Caleb even glanced his way to catch his nod of understanding and respect.

When Essek finished, Verin ran a hand over his face to cover a grimace. “I understand all of that, Essek. What do you need me to do? You should be telling the Bright Queen this.”

“After what happened in Asarius? She already knows, Verin.”

“She thinks it's just the Empire trying new forms of warfare, not… whatever this is.” He looked to Fjord like he recognized his own brand of leadership in him as easily as Fjord had recognized the reverse. “Don't you want more allies?”

“With all due respect to your people, Taskhand, it isn't that we don't want allies. It's that we aren't entirely certain what sort of war we're fighting at the moment and how much it has to do with the one you're already in. There's been enough loss on the Dynasty's side as is. I would hate to distract you.”

Verin chewed on the inside of his cheek and conceded. “So you're just asking me to keep my eyes open?”

“I am asking you to do what you have always done, but pay as close attention as you can to what is outside these walls. After what happened to Asarius and Den Olios-“

”I know.“ Verin hissed. ”I hate being told to just wait for something, Essek.“

”Oh I know it's the worst,“ Fjord interjected, helpfully. ”But if this goes poorly for us, you're our last line of defense to keep it from spreading.“

”It's nice to be needed.“ He grinned, rakishly, and then looked back to Essek, suddenly worried before Fjord could even have a chance to process that fully. “Are you going?”

“I was considering it-”

Verin swiped a hand in the air. “Have you seen the sacrifice engines?”

“Every time I come here.”

“You wanna see 'em today?”

Caleb, recognizing an attempt to politely lure someone away for a private conversation without offending the rest of the group, awkwardly began to herd the Nein back towards the city. “I believe we have some pastries to find, ja? Let's head that way and our friend here can rejoin us later.”

“Ooh! Verin!” Jester leapt on his attempts to awkwardly rescue Essek, but in the entirely wrong direction. “Where is the best place to get sweet stuff here?”

Verin grinned, flashing his sharp fangs. ”There's a cupcake place called the Sacrif-icing Engine. Can't miss it. Very tasteful, despite the name. Actually.” Verin gave a whistle. “Rhyl, Sorn.“

Rhyl and Sorn were a drow with cropped hair, a goatee, and the most intensely wide eyes Caleb had ever seen and an extremely skinny, sleepy-looking bugbear. The two of them had been engaged in an argument when Verin called them forward and were still arguing when they walked up.

”I'm just saying that I don't know that all of these things are coming from the Abyss, itself.“

”There are portals everywhere, Sorn.“

”Have you seen one?“

”No, but I… I see what comes out of them.“

”They could come from anywhere. No one's cleaned out that temple in years. There could be nests of all kinds of things.“

”I swear on the Light, I'm gonna kill you so hard, your next two lives will be stillbirths.“

Verin loudly cleared his throat and the two immediately snapped to full attention. ”Can you two give my brothers' friends a grand tour of the city? They've got a job to do under the mountain and they're gonna need an expert opinion on what they're gonna need.“

”These are experts?“ Lucien snorted.

”We're actually the best demon hunters in this entire camp, friend,“ Rhyl grinned a little too wide.

”Hey, good for you guys,” Beau said, more than a little condescendingly. “We've killed a bunch too.”

“We've also seen rifts that open into the Abyss," Molly added.

Rhyl looked immediately at Sorn. ”You hear that?“

”Yeah, I hear it. People say things, Rhyl. It doesn't mean they're real.“

Verin grinned like he knew exactly what he was doing sending these two to accompany them and begin to attempt to shove Essek in a direction. ”You guys have fun.“

Well. You have to admire his gall. Caleb, feeling a bit like stirring shit, turned to the soldiers and asked, fully deadpan, ”So what do you think all of these creatures you've been facing here come from, if not from the Abyss?“

Cree, Lucien, and Beau all groaned in anguish.

[help-imanartistt]

GOING INSANE

so my brain keeps drawing genloss parallels to songs now so...

I could write an essay on both of these in full but I'll spare you for now...

THE MAIN CHARACTER - Will Wood

I can imagine a great little animatic to this hehee if only i could animate 😭

I imagine the person talking in the bridge is Hetch and then everything after the 'it's nothing new' line is Ranboo responding. Just this whole idea about loyalty and not breaking out of Showfall's grasp and the way that you can kinda connect the 'court fool' and 'the witches' to sneeg and charlie. Also the whole thing about 'doing what we need to to get through' implying that Hetch is also under some sort of control from the founder and also trying to belittle Ranboo for their decisions even though they weren't his own. Then the 'it's nothing new' line referring to the you guessed TIME LOOP. (I LOVE TIME LOOP SO MUCH ITS SO SILLY)

Leading back into the chorus. The creators not being seen as people gets called back to there 'So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being'. This line also eludes to 'The Hero' like Ranboo being given a role and now they're expected to live up to what people think of them. Ranboo commenting on Hetch's two faced nature with the whole 'I mean imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme' bit and how he truly believed Hetch was going to save him. And you can kinda see the last line ('I'm the main character and you have to like me') as a way for Ranboo to justify all the pain he's gone through like "it would all be for nothing if they didn't like me" kinda thing.

COUNTING SHEEP - Crane Wives

I am not convinced this song was not written about genloss/j

This I imagine is the restarting of the time loop. with 'morning coming a day too soon' or thinking that you're dead and to quote the show that 'it wasn't supposed to be like this'. Back in the tiny room being the cabin.

I'll skip the chorus and get to the next verse for now...

The sunlight filtering in and Ranboo's dread of waking up has started to set in as it means that he is going to experience everything all over again. The sunlight could also be referring to the ending of ep 3 where he can see sunlight leaking in from outside but still chooses to ignore it. This could also imply that he was never fully broken out of Showfall's control until the end just so Showfall could get him to follow the story they needed. This leads into the cycle beginning again and the alarms ringing being his awareness that something is wrong and he will be stuck again forced through the same fate over and over. At this point I'd imagine that the mask has turned on meaning the something in them that is fast asleep is themselves and this fear of trying to break free sets in. I also imagine the 'it's a losing battle' line to be representative of Showfall almost mocking Ranboo as he struggles to grapple with reality (him yelling no as the mask turns on again in the first ep).

SO THE CHORUS

Having the wool pulled from your eyes is to see the truth. The mask in this case we can refer to as the wool. I'll let this kind person pn Genius to explain the whole sheep metaphor...

You see where I'm going here??

It's basically referring to how as soon as the mask has relinquished some amount of control and Ranboo is able to see how others are being controlled and deceived ergo eating their fill of sheep. I also really like the whole analogy of sheep because like the whole idea of those trapped in Showfall's control being unable to forge their own paths and make their own decisions. This also aligns with how the Showfall employees are just drones doing whatever the founder needs them to.

ANYWAY UHH THATS BEEN MY SECOND 600 WORD ANALYSIS HAVE FUN GUYS. (can you tell I'm an English student yet...)

[nicollekidman]

How do you deal with getting older and things like wrinkles and the like? I'm in my mid twenties and lately I've been noticing small things that show the passage of time and I'm freaking out. It's so strange because I find older women so goddamn attractive but I hate seeing those same things on myself. I know it's natural but I can't help but spiral. So yeah, do you have any advice?

honestly, as someone who is bonedeep fully debilitatingly afraid to die but also fully increasingly enamored with aging, this is hard for me to answer, because i've never felt afraid of wrinkles or physical markers of time, altho the natural endpoint of that, i AM. but truly like. you just have to get a little more offline. i know that you're surrounded by videos and photos of people becoming increasingly aware of their bodies in relation to their age, and viewing themselves and something to be smoothed and erased but.

i am happier with my face than i ever have been. i have a bunch of lines on my forehead that never go away, because i am expressive and i scrunch up my face every time i squint to read something, and every time i laugh. i have scars from where i used to pick at my t zone pimples. i have a patch of super dry skin that flares up every other day, that i never used to have until the last year. and you know what? each one of those things tells me i'm closer to being a woman with history and People and memories and stories.... i look at 15 year olds on tik tok who are actively trying to make themselves as generic as possible and i wish i could just tell them that aging makes you who you are! aging is an outward result of all the inward changes you make as you grow and all the experiences you have! and like i'm not saying this to be trite and poetic, it's also how i view my tattoos and why i'm not nervous to hate them later.

your body is your diary! it's the only one you've got, and it WILL deteriorate, and i know that's really scary. but try and look outside yourself a little and find things about yourself that would make you smile in another person. giggle over the stupid thing you did that gave you marks and scrapes, smile at how your face is so elastic and goofy that you can make whatever expression you want! think of the changes as stickers you're collecting to mark out your days.