#also i have a bunch of posts i WANT to make about this playthrough but idk if ill ever get around to it. we'll see

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[illegiblewords]

SOME ILLEGIBLE RAMBLES AND REFLECTIONS: THE DEAD THREE

Finished my first/main playthrough of Baldur’s Gate 3, and it’s had me turning over all sorts of ideas tied to Dungeons and Dragons lore. A bunch happens to be about cosmology so I'm slapping together one post about the Dead Three and a follow-up about deities more generally. Buckle up if you decide to proceed dudes. This is chunky and opinion/interpretation heavy. CW for mention (not extensive) of graphic violence and sex crimes during discussion of Bhaal and Yeenoghu.

MYRKUL

I get that there are multiple death-affiliated deities in DnD. Our buddy Jergal is the end of all things and the original incarnation of the concept. Myrkul stands for the experience of dying, decay, necromancy, graves, bones, and the fear of mortality. Kelemvor rules over the dead. Orcus is a demon lord and quasi-deity of undeath. Could prob go on.

I've read many different incarnations of death over the years. To set the stage on my Myrkul read, it bears mentioning that Terry Pratchett's Death is probably my favorite. I don't have it in me to see death as something totally malicious. It's very natural, and I tend to imagine that if there were to be an incarnation embodying it this persona would have an intimate view of all the love and grief, vulnerability and intimacy, ugliness and solitude, etc. that mortals deal with. Death has witnessed the end every living being faces, from the dawn of creation until now. Even if it isn't consciously accessed at all moments, death is ancient and experienced and not likely to be shocked by what mortals are capable of anymore. Mortals are small. Uncountably numerous though we are we are far outnumbered by the unliving. What are lives next to planets, to stars? Here I'd argue against assigning value according to how big or small something is, how eternal or how brief, how simple or complex. Everything that is, is a universe unto itself and deserves the gravity of that. It is also very mundane at the same time. To me, death needs to be able to balance the preciousness and commonality of life, of existence, on the tip of its scythe. Death needs to be able to deal with the most depraved beings to exist, but also with every beloved pet put to sleep. Every lost child or parent. Everyone who dies surrounded by loved ones and everyone who dies alone.

Initially, even knowing Myrkul in particular had been a mortal necromancer and not of particular moral standing--I had mixed feelings about him being the evilest of evil skeletons. He worked it well, but the idea of any aspect of death (or any character tbh) being flat evil felt off to me. Especially with 'we're all the protagonists of our own stories' being at work. People don't often look at what actions they'd consider to be evil then go 'I'm going to make myself that on purpose'. Disregarding morality maybe, but being evil on purpose is weird.

So I looked into further lore about Myrkul. One spot that gave me pause was that Myrkul as death (rather than the adventurer Myrkul Bey al-Kursi he’d once been) revels in inspiring fear of death and driving home experiences of loss. From what I found he isn't focused on the name of the individual holding the office of death, but for the force itself being feared. He can be bribed, and he will allow for necromancy/resurrections--but the fear and gravity of death is a sacred thing to him. Disregarding that is a pretty good way to get onto Myrkul's shitlist. I want to take a moment to emphasize the importance of Myrkul focusing on his portfolio over his own ego. That is far from a given in the DnD pantheon, and like I said he's a former mortal himself. It wouldn't be out of the question for him to be a petty and insecure deity. He could have been the sort of guy where becoming a god of death by itself wasn't enough power. If Myrkul was a different person, he might have wanted people to stroke his ego and say how strong he is. He might have been someone who felt inadequate as a god without that affirmation. He could have (as a character) been unsatisfied and forever wanting/dependent upon the views of others to define himself. The fact that he DOES focus on death and decay as forces rather than himself is a big deal in reading him imo.

Anyway. Myrkul's emphasis on death as something feared got me thinking about what would cause a person to put such weight on death being understood in its negative aspect. It struck me that this is actually a very common and even important thing. You don't need to demonize death to see it, either. If you value life as sacred, the idea of life being treated as cheap or disposable is horrifying. When you love something dearly, the idea of that beloved thing being defaced is beyond outrage. It's a kind of sacrilege. People who kill as casually as breathing, who revel in the permanent destruction of someone else, become a source of horror. The absence of love creates a sort of cruelty that can't even perceive itself. And it's not uncommon for human beings in particular to partake in this. Humans dance on the graves of those they deem enemies not because they're relieved to be safe, but because they glory in the end of other lives. They don't recognize that anything of value was lost. There is no tragedy in death anymore. Every gentle moment, every vulnerability, every tragedy in their opponent's life is something to be crapped on and gloated over. There is no greater insult to life itself. Myrkul stands as a reminder that such behavior cannot stand. You can't treat life or death as cheap. To see something horrific and fail to realize the weight of its horror is itself a form of horror. The idea of a death that demands to be acknowledged for what it is, particularly by the living, imo actually denotes a level of care for life too. It might be harsh or ugly, but I don't know about evil. So while Myrkul is certainly flawed and often serves as an antagonist, I’d argue the function he performs is not only important but necessary.

And while it might vary between players, I found Aylin's enthusiastic executions and body defiling pretty uncomfortable. I understand she went through a lot and am fine with her as a character. But I think Myrkul's point stands if the audience feels even a moment of disquiet seeing her celebrate over the corpse of a broken person.

Some things are meant to be ugly.

BANE

Of the Dead Three I find Bane the most disturbing and dangerous tbh—but not for how Gortash invokes him. Way I see it, the other word for tyranny is authoritarianism on a macro-level, abuse on an individual level.

I’d argue that in life, we can only healthily control ourselves and our own individual actions/choices. We can try to persuade others or appeal to their judgment, but we can’t MAKE another person think or act how we wish. When folks attempt otherwise (individually or more broadly) it involves fear, force, deceit, or other forms of pressure. Coercion, enslavement. These fall under the umbrella of tyrannical practice to me. You treat another person as subhuman and strip them of agency.

We don’t live in a pure and ideal world. If a tyrannical person is committing crimes and denying others their free will through force, I wouldn’t call defense through force tyrannical as long as it wasn’t needlessly excessive. Power struggles exist. But the whole practice of using fear, force, deceit, or pressure to control another person is dangerous imo. They're to be utilized as little as possible.

In DnD I don’t think the fringe evil cults would be the ones most at risk for corruption by Bane. I don't think individuals or groups who prioritize self-indulgence would be most at risk, either. The most dangerous and frequent disciples of Bane imo would be within good alignment. This means followers of benevolent gods as well as the nations or groups that consider themselves to have righteous causes. ESPECIALLY those with chips on their shoulders.

When someone assumes they have and always will have the moral high ground, that they are incapable of committing injustice, that their end justifies whatever means, that it doesn’t count as abuse with the 'correct' target… that, to me, is where tyranny festers. The person convinced of their own moral infallibility is the one who sees no need for brakes and so cuts them without concern.

I’d argue everybody has a seed of tyranny in them that can be fed or starved. We feed that seed with our own indignation to become a tyrant victimizing others while still seeing ourselves as powerless. The person who first victimized you can still also be victimized by you. There isn’t a target that exists where finding joy in cruelty gets a pass.

Bane, I think, thrives on the idea that it's no problem if you're enforcing your will. Especially on people contemptible to you.

For DnD purposes, imagine you have zealous followers of idk Tyr. They are willing to do whatever it takes to enforce and spread their definition of justice. They believe in making examples of people at every opportunity. They torture, isolate, rob, and shame those they consider to be unjust or dangerous. If their victims are falsely accused—well. It’s for a noble purpose so the sacrifice is not in vain. And imagine Tyr abandons these followers as hypocrites. He no longer empowers clerics or paladins no matter how they cite scripture or brand ‘heretics’ with his symbols.

Bane doesn’t enter calling himself Bane, god of tyranny. Bane claims to follow a higher justice. Maybe he uses an avatar, maybe he chooses a Banite disciple, maybe he finds a true believer. But he argues that Tyr as an individual was never ultimately what those zealots stood for—it was justice itself. And if Tyr has turned traitor to his own portfolio, mortals need to go over his head to the core concept and implement that. Bane offers a name that suits his purposes and begins sourcing power to clerics and paladins instead. And throughout, as the zealots commit increased atrocities against those they deem dangerous or evil they fail to realize they’ve spiraled into evil alignment after all. They’d think they were either just as good as they’d always been OR BETTER. The compassion of Ilmater is spent on the depraved and corrupt as far as they’re concerned.

I think the real threat of Bane is that he should be 100% capable of corrupting an otherwise heroic party member if they aren’t wary of that capacity in themself. You suddenly find your friend who listened to your problems and supported you through awful shit mocking a person sobbing on the ground as they kick them. And that friend looks betrayed and hurt (or outraged) if you challenge their actions, because they think you should know exactly how disgusting this piece of shit is and how much they deserve the abuse. And even if you concede that individual case—it’s not the only one. The slights worthy of torment become smaller and smaller. A thought or word out of line betrays the ideology of an evil alignment, with the only solution being to beat thoughts and words out of the target until they can only repeat approved ideas back. And even then, it may not be enough.

If it was explicitly confirmed that the deity the zealot followed was Bane all along, the zealot might genuinely not believe it. They might get pissed at the very suggestion. What they do against the wicked isn’t tyranny after all. They’re righteous.

Denial doesn’t serve to disempower Bane in the least if tactics remain unchanged.

BHAAL

I’m holding off on more detailed Bhaal thoughts until I complete a dark urge run, but I’ve listened to lore on both him and the demon lord Yeenoghu recently—and I think there’s room for a really cool potential contrast.

Yeenoghu Lore

Providing this particular video link for the curious, as a way to help illustrate what I’m drawing from.

Yeenoghu holds the title as demon lord of slaughter. He glories in filth, rape, excessively graphic murder, torture, violence, and playing with corpses along the way. He’s meant to come across as a bestial, self-absorbed, remorseless desecrater. And when I say bestial, I want to draw attention to a particular IRL factoid that might be worth considering.

I love animals to bits. I don’t think animals generally contemplate morality the way humans do just due to cognitive differences and limitations. I also think it’s important to remember that humans are ALSO animals, so certain things umbrella’d under ‘human experience’ would probably apply to at least some animals too. If there are human altruists and human serial killers, we should be able to expect that animals likewise have some altruists and some serial killers within the scope of individual variation.

Cruelty is not exclusive to humans. Orcas will essentially torture smaller animals to death by flinging them into the air with their tails repeatedly like balls until repeated beatings and suffocation kill them. Dolphins commit rape and chew on live puffer fish to get high off the toxins. Chimpanzees are a horror unto themselves with cannibalism and mutilation and basically whatever atrocity they can commit. Wolves and cats sometimes hunt to excess just for the joy of it and don’t eat all they kill. Hannibal the swan (as a specific and notably homicidal individual) beat and drowned any other swans visiting his pond and showed his signet how to do it. I could go on. Some cases it might be a matter of the animal not having theory of mind to recognize that they are inflicting pain on another conscious creature. Other times, like with pissed off chimpanzees, they know EXACTLY what they’re doing and it’s on purpose to cause maximum suffering.

I think Yeenoghu should embody a little bit of both propensities. He’s just utterly self-absorbed and doesn’t give a fuck about the experiences or perspectives of other living things except insofar as they impact him.

Bhaal I want to research more like I said, but one thing I remember from my initial play through was finding a note from the Dark Urge to Orin.

Little sister, whatever in the Gray Wastes are we going to do with you? Bhaal will never care that you waste your time, posing your corpse-dollies. Bhaal doesn’t care whether you give him the corpse of a pauper or a king. At the end of the day, all Father wants is death in droves, death in numbers. To sap away the life of this dull world as swiftly and widely as we can. You plan, you plot, you prevaricate, and you waste his time. Bhaal doesn’t need us to think. He needs us to kill. You kill beautifully, and have talents in your shapes’ magics that I never will. But you do not understand Lord Bhaal. Perhaps it is a failing of your diluted blood, as a mere grandchild. I am his sole living pureblood. I will accept no challenge from you, until you show some damned respect.

To be honest this is interesting af to me because it positions Orin a bit more in-line with Yeenoghu’s modus operandi in some ways. But what sets apart the principles of Bhaal from Yeenoghu or Myrkul?

The Dark Urge suggests the goal of Bhaal is the extinction of all life, but to be honest I’m a bit skeptical. Seems like short term thinking. Even if Bhaal pulled that off, once it’s done there is no more murder or god of murder for that matter. If Bhaal is aiming for a cessation of existence and wants everyone else along for the ride maybe that’s what he’s after, but I dunno. That seems like something fans/players/loremasters would have touched on before.

I’d like to invite this possibility for foiling instead:

Life consumes other life by nature. Animals, plants, fungi, bacteria, so forth—it isn’t just a matter of philosophy. One life cannot exist without destroying another. We need to eat. If we don’t, we die well before reproduction enters the picture. But it’s more than that… you take a step, you kill countless tiny organisms you aren’t even aware of. You swat a fly. You hit something with your car. You move gracelessly or touch carelessly, and catastrophe ensues. Etcetera.

It is inevitable that your existence will mean the end for the life of another living thing. That’s just how it goes.

It could be interesting on a LOT of fronts (both as members of the dead three and as former adventuring companions) if Bhaal acted as a kind of philosophical opposite to Myrkul the way I previously described.

If the Dark Urge’s note is to be trusted, Bhaal has no interest in ritual or glorified death per se. Bhaal would be more about the mundanity that comes through the act of killing. Life is fragile as-is and often ended by accident. Killing in its most common form is thoughtless and unconscious. To Bhaal, if every life is a universe then the universe looks meaningless. There is no importance or fanfare to any of it. If one side is ‘everything matters, give weight to life and death’, Bhaal would be ‘nothing matters, we are not capable of affording reverence to every single life and death we encounter’. More specifically, the mass deaths Bhaal favors would be a kind of illustration of the uncaring and casual relationship living things have with killing other living things. The more casual and effortless it is, the more I’d imagine it serves Bhaal. Sadism and revelry miss the point—there is no hierarchy. Suffering is inconsequential. Fear is inconsequential. Instinct is inconsequential. To live is to kill by Bhaal’s logic.

It isn’t limited to murder in the sense of a member of one species killing a member of the same species. It’s more Bhaal is the god of killing. He’d gain power from murder too sure, but also hunting, harvesting, and butchering. With these interpretations in-mind, we can actually figure out how the Dead Three might have answered Jergal's question about what worth a mortal life holds. With the disclaimer this is very much conjecture. I think Myrkul would likely be "Each life is of infinite value and merits sacrificing everything for." That lends life a heavy weight and makes death a fearful force for all. It would also mesh with Ketheric as his chosen. Bane would lean into "That depends on a person's deeds", "The only life that matters is mine", or "Depends on the mortal". From those positions, the speaker argues for a hierarchy of life where some is more expendable than the rest. It's easier from that position to slide into adopting a role as judge and executioner, and from elevating yourself into a role of authority where other voices and experiences count less than your own. Bhaal I think is reflected in "Life’s only value is as currency. Doesn’t matter to me otherwise", "The only life that matters is mine", or "No one life is worth more than any other. We are equal." Bhaal has the implicit question in-turn: what is the blood-price of your own life? How much have you claimed in your own name to keep moving? It's kind of the belief that while "The only life that matters is mine" is Bhaal's answer, every other living thing should be answering the same way. There's more nuance than that of course, and likely truth falls somewhere in the middle. We aren't mentally capable of giving reverence to every death, but we can recognize in general terms and do our best case-by-case. We have a right to protect ourselves and what we love, but others share that right.

Feel free to offer different stances or thoughts though, and if you made it this far goddamn thank you for reading this monster.

[vintagesimstress]

Roman Palla (Zeussim's Desi Gita Redux)

TSR's latest collection prompted me to finally finish a thing which was sitting in my WIPs' folder for months. I'd been hoping to make some more add-ons for it, but let's face it: I lost my steam halfway through, it's not happening, so the best I can do is to release it as is. Still pretty good, I hope!

As my GBSC playthrough is slowly but steadily approaching the Roman Britain era, I found myself in need for some outfits for my sim ladies. There's a bunch of stuff out there, but rather on the 'what we'd like Romans to have dressed like' side, not necessarily what history tells us about how they really dressed. Tbh I thought it was a hopeless endeavour, but then dear Buzzard directed me towards this amazing post by Zeussim - more specifically, the Desi Gita dress, which with a bit of imagination could work for a Roman palla. So I set off to work and romanised it even further. Big thank you to @buzzardly28 for the tip and to @zeussim for her generous ToU!

The mesh is slightly edited (cutouts on shoulders, adjusted headscarf position to accommodate a wider variety of hairstyles) and recoloured in my Iron Age palette, in two versions: 'silk' (or just any smooth textile, really)* or 'wool' (or anything rather on the coarse side). AND it comes with overlays - for both versions! Which means you can mix and match not only different colours, but different textiles as well. You're a well-off lady who just arrived in Londinum and is now freezing her butt off in the cold northern climate? No worries, put a wool palla over your pretty silk dress! Or you by some miracle managed to get your hands on one piece of silk? Wear it with you wool dress to a party to show off!

Many of the wool swatches, especially in combination with different pale/greenish overlays, work quite well for common folk:

There's also an accessory fibula - pretty and golden (or silver), for the richer ones. Found somewhere on Sketchfab. (That's exactly where I got stuck - I wanted to make a variety of different ones, so that the poorer women would also have something to choose from... Alas).

As always, all packages come in HQ (default) or non-HQ versions (for those of you who want to save some HDD space). Download only one per package!

If there are any other Roman era players out there: hope you enjoy :)

DOWNLOAD (free on Patreon, no ads or EA)

*OK, I feel like I have to add a little note: my quick research revealed that silk was insanely expensive for the majority of the Roman era. Like, 'only for the emperor and fams' level of expensive. Only at the end it became... emmm... 'cheap' enough to be accessible also to the aristocracy. So just pretend it is whatever the heck you want it to be, not necessarily real silk

[mayonnara]

i really wonder if any of you stop to give at least a little bit of a shit

this is one example, by the way. BIG accounts are like this too

they pretend to be agree and be like "THIS!!!" but in the side lines they're doing the same. don't be like these people. if you like something, then puff out your chest and don't be a pussy about it. tell everyone how you're into watching kids shooting other kids.

there's no such thing as not condoning this type of thing. there's no such thing as being a "researcher" when you're clearly just glorifying them and making them "quirky uwu". just say it. say that you're a horrible person. it's easier for everyone.

i always check the little "similar accounts" tab, it's very helpful for finding shitty people.

im putting this in the postal tag because im still getting notifications about tcccunts liking my stuff. since this is a side account i noticed that no matter how many people i block they still have access to my posts, and i don't have access to theirs. tumblr, fix your site.

since im incredibly pissed about this, and i can't sleep, im going to rant.

i think we should change the meaning of "community". are you really part of a community if you got caught in a school shooting, they would be worshiping your shooter? are you really part of a community if you got killed and recorded, people would just be looking at your dead body and laughing instead of being sad? are you really part of a community if you're doing something illegal?

this is why i believe there's no such thing as a true crime community. or a gore community. or anything of the sort.

for me, you're all just as bad as maps, proshippers, terfs, and all that bad bunch.

i think its just common sense that these people should be ridiculed and isolated from any fandom, but here in this fandom? no, it's okay, we'll dickride you because you're different, it's a different thing y'know? stop being so sensitive. respect them.

i swear make it make sense. just, make it make a lick of sense.

it just makes me so angry because the games are satire, they're supposed to be funny and be like "ohh haha ginger man pisses on bodies lmaoo", and nothing is real. even if postal was a game about a teenager that goes on a school shooting and it's extremely realistic and shit, it's still not real. then why would you associate something like that to such horrible things? hell, i HATE shooting games and even i thought postal was kinda fun, i went pacifist for all my playthrough but i made another game file and went exploding the town and killing everyone. you know why i can do that? because its not real. why can't you just leave it at that? don't mix two things that have nothing to do with each other. don't glorify people that hurt real people. that should just be common sense.

oh but may, you drew yourself with postal dude once! you cry, but guess what. IM NOT A SCHOOL SHOOTER AM I NOW

also, i wanted to rant about something that really does piss me off as well. why do artists get a pass when it comes to this shit? or just, anything in general. why is when they post horrible shit, it's alright, but when its someone that doesn't make art, or is a beginner, it's a tomato throwing party? do it to both of them. them being able to draw shouldn't give them a shield to do horrible shit. it shouldn't matter how many followers or how notes they have, hold them accountable for crying out loud. "but they make art i like" and? you're just excusing their behavior, you're excusing what their doing because you "like their art". that's just.. it's just insane to me.

i have never seen a fandom like this. i have been in the genshin fandom, i have been in the south park fandom, i have been in the cookie run fandom, i have been in the onceler fandom, and none of them, absolutely none of them were as bad as this one. i didn't even know that was physically possible.

all of you are like, 19, 23, 24 whatever, you should know better than to excuse this behavior. like i said, puff out your chest and tell everyone how you really are. just say it. don't pretend you're innocent.

you know what's funnier? theres currently the genocide going on in Palestine. and these fuckers be posting about it, #savepalestine! #helppalestine! they don't give two SHITS about it, and you still go and like "oh but they post about Palaestine" they're out there watching people dying and enjoying it, you think they CARE about a GENOCIDE?? it's what they love! seriously, this is just so uguugghhg

my brain can't comprehend someone like this. it just can't.

[olderthannetfic]

You know what obnoxious thing I keep seeing in fandom I wish would stop? This absolute need some people seem to have for their ship to be Representation in some way. Shipping is just imagining scenarios between two characters! You don’t need it to be a Special reason or whatever? I have a ship that is popular and people make weird vague comments about how the fandom is racist because both of them are white and there are other ship options that have poc so the white ship being big is a reflection on how racist the fandom is but the thing is…

Look I’m going to be real with y’all the fandom is for the game Detroit: Become Human and let’s just say the two major black characters are basically stereotypes written by a neocon lib boomer in a story that itself is imho…let’s call it tone deaf and corny af rather than overtly racist but yeah. Black folks on twitter regularly mock this game for good reason. It is very much a boomer white man’s idea of the civil rights movement but with robots. The robots sing actual slave hymns. The main character is essentially a light-skinned Martin Luther King Jr (dubbed Markus Luthur King by blktwt lol) and the religious allegories of him as a savior figure are very on the nose. It is bad lol. It’s not that I wouldn’t want to explore the black characters but the fandom is full of young white people singing the praises of this writing while patting themselves on the back about it which is genuinely uncomfortable to be around. Just my 2 cents but the virtue signaling and insane policing around those two characters makes it unbearable to interact with their content it is deeply sanitized and you WILL get death threats if you attempt any nuance or are critical of the (kinda racist imo) way they were written in canon.

The worst part of this is that Markus has a popular ship with a character a lot of people read or interpret as a more soft or femme gay man and you know what zoomers hate? Femme gay men. So obviously this is made to be ‘problematic’ in some way because these people can’t just admit to being femmphobic/homophobic themselves.

Sometimes it’s easier to stick with the boring white characters in the background because they aren’t being closely guarded by stupid reactionary people who are used to flashing their favorite fictional poc characters as tokens of their own goodness and virtue.

--

The pinnacle of this game is that moment when the black lady lectures her son about why they need to run the robot underground railroad to Canada.

I watched some playthroughs. Unsurprisingly, I liked the buddy cops with the good development, not the cringey activism plot with too many foils and not enough development of any single relationship and not the the Women Care About Babies plot.

But if I were going to do something fannish with Markus, I'd write him having a fucked up relationship with his mentor's son post game—the surrogate son who thought the guy was great and the estranged son who knew he wasn't but who has also done a bunch of shitty stuff himself.

It's especially hilarious when tryhards think the problem is not enough people shipping Markus with North as if the slashers are going to be into 1. het and 2. yet another unnecessary traumatic sex stuff backstory for a lady.

Even worse, half the whining isn't even about that Nines fanon nonsense being more popular than Markus: it's about how Markus/Connor would be better than Hank/Connor because old people are ew.

Sorry, children, a lot of people are here to thirst for Clancy Brown and because they'll turn up for any Caves of Steel ripoff. Other Connor ships were never in the running.

[ddlcbrainrot]

ok so i was feeling nostalgic today and started thinking about how my first time going through ddlc was so i’m making a post about it lol

buckle up this is going to be a long one

so i first heard of the game when it first came out in 2017, which means i was like… 12 years old?? so definitely should not have been watching it but what can ya do. anyway i’ve seen the title in a bunch of yt videos which described it as a horror game, and i was intrigued bc… 4 cute anime girls? how is that a horror game. i was too much of a scaredy cat to actually download it on our family computer so i watched some ddlc playthrough in yt. and i was so bored throughout the first half of act one lmao. i think i mentioned it before but when i first encountered the game i wanted to go the monika route, and i was so disappointed it wasn’t an option (until later on when i realised why it wasn’t an option). also the yt video i watched went down the yuri route and look, i didnt necessarily have a problem with the shy girl character type, what i did have a problem with (and still do to some extent) was how the shy girl is always portrayed in anime. i was definitely a shy person growing up, so seeing the traits that had caused me so many problems be considered adorable and desirable kinda irked me the wrong way. so yeah, first half of the game i was pretty unimpressed. i didn’t dislike it, i just thought “i’ve seen these character archetypes before, i know how this is going to play out, i’ll just wait until the other shoe drops”. and oh boy it did.

i remember that scene in sayori’s bedroom to this day dude. this is probably embarrassing to admit, but i honestly believe that scene changed the trajectory of my life. i live in a very uneducated country on the subject of mental health, so i had no idea on anything surrounding it. i’ve heard the term “depression” before, but it was only brought up either in a joking way or in a way of saying someone is too far gone. which is obviously not the case, but that’s how it was usually used back then in my environment. so to see a character that (even if i wasn’t as emotionally invested in bc of how tropey they were at that point) i liked talk about how they struggle with it was a very eye opening experience to say the least. it’s kind of funny thinking back, but i really was like “huh. depression is actually a real thing people can go through. and it could also be something people i care about have to go through. and something i could go through.”. it sounds dumb when i write it down but that was srsly how it was.

then act 2 happened, i don’t really have much to say about act 2 bc throughout the whole thing i was just uncomfortable and unsettled, which is definitely what act 2 is supposed to make you feel. natsuki was now somehow the most normal one, i didn’t like yuri even more now bc she was now also weirdly obsessive, i knew monika was up to something i just couldn’t wrap my head around what. a moment that stuck with me a lot during act 2 was the whole “can you hear me?” thing in monika’s second writing tip, bc wow this girl knows something and is also very clearly trapped by something and WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?? i literally had no idea where the story was going so the reveal hit me like a truck.

act 3… what to say about act 3… i was so mind blown you don’t even know. remember that i was like 12 at the time, this was my first ever experience with the media breaking the fourth wall. and from what i remember i had an… interesting viewpoint on it. i think there are two ways to interpret monika’s self awareness. first up is taking it under the context of the story, basically knowing that she isn’t actually self aware but for the sake of the story following along with the idea that she is. second one is taking it under the context of the behind the scenes, so you understand that she isn’t actually self aware but you can’t ignore it and just immerse yourself back in the story. it’s a risk the creator takes with breaking the fourth wall, bc the second interpretation usually ruins the idea behind the media. i had the second reaction to the awareness reveal. and i think it gives the game an entire new meaning, one that probably wasn’t the original one but i’d like to talk about it. the only thing i was able to think throughout monika’s monologues was : “oh crap. she thinks she’s self aware but in actuality she is programmed to kill her friends. she isn’t free from the script, she’s still following it. the creator just made her think she is aware but actually, she is just as much of a puppet as the other girls and she doesn’t even realise. she’s trapped in an even worse way than the other girls. bc she thinks she is free”. which, is definitely not what dan was going for, but i gotta say it is ten times scarier.

and then sayori goes through the epiphany too and then monika deletes the game and the credits roll but i was so flabbergasted by everything before that i couldn’t even form thoughts through act 4.

so yeah 12yo me was not only struck with the realisation that feelings are real things (thanks to sayori) but now also the thought that just because you experience something that could be 100% real to you doesn’t mean it actually is (thanks to monika). needless to say this game changed me as a person.

damn this was a long one, i apologise if you read through all of this lmao

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence [Extended Demo]:💙Quality of life changes + Q&A.💙

Hello and welcome new followers! To show my appreciation for all the support I've received again, here's one of the Valentines Day concept drawings finished! A big thank you to everyone that has continued supporting this through a like, re-blog, fanart, comment, tip jar, share, etc. :,]

I wasn't expecting it to take as long as it did but I'm very happy with the result and how much I've been improving! I'm not too good at drawing angled faces so being able to get it to look just right made me very happy! :,]

I still have this one to go so hopefully at some point I'll have it done!

Quality of life changes:

*Please note that these changes aren't in the [Extended Demo] yet! It'll be something for me to work on adding and I'll let it be known in a update post!

Now that it's been two weeks of the [Extended Demo] being released, It's time to go over some changes to help the player out when going through the game!

I noticed from comments and playthrough's that certain Bad endings/Neutral story progressions were difficult to find, especially the full afternoon route. I don't want players to feel burnt out from trying to search for everything.

I want to add a check-list menu that shows all the Bad/Neutral endings you can get while playing so it's easier to navigate the game.

2. For those that are new or have been here for some time, entering the cabin with Noah starts Day 3 due to the player(Y/N) being lost in the terrain for 2 and a half days which Noah mentions. Sometimes this can get confusing since some consider it Day 1 while the game considers it Day 3.

It's still up in the air about how I'm going to go on about this but I'm thinking about adding a little notification tab in the upper left corner of the game to notify the player(Y/N) of what day it is in the game to resolve confusion.

3. I talked about this last week but I didn't know until recently that the tags I use for Trembling Essence were very unorganized and hard to search through.

I went through and tried my best to re-organize all of the lore and art about Noah/game posts. I also cleaned up the #Trembling Essence tag since it was flooded with game development posts and not much else. I'm also working on a master post and plan on creating some reference sheets of Noah which will be placed under a different tag! :]

#Get to know: Noah : This will be filled with answered asks and lore dump. Sometimes(?) there's random dev-logs that have lore attached to them too. #TE Updates : This only includes dev-logs/updates about the game and development progress. #Trembling Essence : This tag is mainly used to post fan art / art and anything else in general that might belong here which includes lore posts. I really want searching through the tag to be enjoyable and not filled with a bunch of dev-logs.

Q&A / Ask box is open:

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I would really like to hear from you guys!

I really wanted some of the lore to be found through playing versus me just answering everything. :]

If you've already sent in a ask, I did see it I just need time to answer since I like to respond with doodles/drawings and helps me practice. :]

That's all I have to share right now! Thank you for the continued support, I wholeheartedly appreciate it. :,]

[impossiblepackage]

say, i heard you reblog a post about role playing games. do you happen to know of any ones that i, a beginner, could feasibly get into in this day and age? i tried DnD but a combination of not having anybody to play with (whether irl or online) and a dissatisfaction with low level boringness kind of made it fizzle out for me

oh hey an ask from 3 months ago that I didn't even see. hi.

ANYWAY. First things first, i cannot recommend @theresattrpgforthat enough. Ain't nobody better at recommending rpgs than that blog right there. Now, on to my thoughts.

If you want a DnD-like rpg, Pathfinder 2nd Edition is gonna be my first recommendation. It's harder to find games for on account of being significantly less popular than dnd5e but it's probably the 2nd most popular game. It's also completely free, with everything being hosted on https://2e.aonprd.com/. It's got everything except adventures, those ya gotta buy. For the next 10 days, there's a humble bundle that includes PDFs of lots of the pre-remaster legacy books, and includes a couple adventures, including a whole adventure path going from level 1 to 20. As a whole, the game is different to dnd but it's recognizable. Big fan myself, and paizo isn't a bunch of pricks. The setting is also super gay. There's a potion of trans your gender, and one of the main religions in the world is the worship of 3 gods in lesbian polycule.

Ironsworn: probably my favorite RPG, period. (also has a space version, that works the same way). It is narrative focused, and designed for solo play or in groups with no GM. Works just as well by yourself, as a duo, in a small group, or in a traditional way with a few players and a GM. It's structured around it's vow system. Your character makes a vow, you decide how difficult that vow should be to accomplish, and as you do things that advance it, you mark progress. Eventually, you make a roll to try and fulfill the vow, with the difficulty determined by how much progress you've made. If you fail that roll, it's bad. Cool thing is that just about everything works that way. Undertaking a journey, delving a dungeon, fighting a dude, it's all handled with the same system. It's a game about perseverance and struggle and relationships, both with people and with places. also very fun to play for writing practice. It's mechanics are rooted in it's setting, but there's no reason you couldn't play it in basically any setting. the youtube channel Me, Myself, And Die is, essentially, Critical Role But It's Solo RPGs, and he did a great season where he played Ironsworn, check it out. Also, Basement Fort on youtube did a duo playthrough. I've only seen the first episode but it seems like a fun watch, as well as showing off duo gameplay.

the Witcher RPG: i haven't played this myself or even looked at the books yet, but everything I've heard about this game has me super excited about it. the general consesus seems to be "yo this is wayyyy better than I thought it would be, why aren't more people playing this, what the fuck". If somebody more familiar wants to talk about it, that'd be dope.

gonna ramble about the rest much less, LIGHTNING ROUND OF RECOMMENDATIONS

Dungeon World: same genre as dnd, but much less crunchy gameplay. Much easier to learn.

Kids On Bikes: it's Stranger Things but as a ttrpg.

Call of Cthulhu: get spooky, idiot. The players are investigators unraveling some mystery or another, and trying to keep their sanity in the face of some cosmic bullshit.

Lancer: it's about mechs! closer to anime-style mechs than battletech style, from what I can tell. I've heard good things.

Vampire: The Masquerade: you will NEVER guess what this is about. It's a classic, it's great, it pretty much redefined the way I think vampires should work. The new version of Werewolf: The Apocalypse is coming soon, and I'm real hyped for that, too.

Shadow Of The Demon Lord: my understanding is that this game is basically "DnD 5e, but good".

[mayordeas-clone]

some thoughts on partitio and agnea's traveler stories and their ultimate contribution to the connecting plot of octopath traveler 2

i recently finished my second playthrough of octopath 2, and it was really fun because it reminded me on why this game is very special to me in spite of its flaws, as well as give me new reasons to appreciate it and its efforts to better connect all eight traveler stories to a grander plot than the first octopath game.

when i first played octopath 2, i thought agnea's story was pretty disappointing since it was the one that connected the least to the big bads behind the game's final chapter and was very low-stakes and lighthearted. however, after reading some folks' opinions on the game + reexperiencing the whole package for myself, i've softened up to her a bit and really appreciate the role she plays in the story, even if it might not be to the same level as the other travelers. (i'm also lumping partitio into this even though his connections are a little tighter + he's not as talked about regarding this issue since i feel like he and agnea's stories have similar ideas and tone)

this was originally apart of a grand infodump on the game i made after finishing the epilogue that i wanted to isolate into its own post!

some spoilers abound, up to the very end of octopath traveler 2 (with some mentions of stuff revealed in octopath traveler 1's endgame)

so the final chapter of octopath traveler 2 pretty much ties key characters and events together through the moonshade order, whose members were involved in all eight characters' stories in order to enact their plan to bring about eternal night. a common criticism of agnea's story is that her connections to this overarching scheme are pretty loose.

each traveler has a major member of the moonshade order involved in some way or another. temenos was acquainted with mindt, who turned out to be arcanette, the current leader and mastermind behind it all. castti's colleague trousseau was involved in the cult's activities as well, utilizing the shadow to spread pestilence after being corrupted by their teachings.

in agnea's case, her connection to this order is tanzy, who is a very minor character all things considered in her story. she was a member of giselle's traveling troupe, and she often mentions a "goddess" in most of her dialogue (who we later find out was referring to arcanette, who manipulated her into the order's cause). what gets to a lot of people is that agnea, upon finding out about tanzy's fate during the final chapter (that she was used and sacrificed by arcanette in order to further the moonshade order's ambitions), has zero reaction or comment about it. not even giselle, coda, and rico, the only other people that have actually met and interacted with tanzy, have anything to say about tanzy's noticable absence during the reunion during the epilogue, making tanzy as agnea's link to the moonshade order feel strange, especially compared to other members who had a slightly more active role in the other travelers' stories.

since i'm also talking about partitio, i might as well explain his connection as well: his story's moonshade order member is ori, a scrivener that always seems to appear out of nowhere. we learn in the final chapter that she was actually keeping tabs on a bunch of the other travelers (even appearing at osvald's trial at the beginning of his story) to gather information for the moonshade order. ori was a pretty important character, but her involvement with partitio's story is that she was Always There (that's the best i can put it), and partitio was sort of doing his own thing.

he and agnea's stories are the only ones to make no mention of The Shadow or any of d'arquest's shenanigans, and they're also a lot more lighthearted in tone, so they might feel a bit out of place when trying to connect them to the other travelers' stories and how they connect to the overarching plot. does that mean they served no purpose? not so! i think they’re relevant in their own way.

partitio and agnea’s story are about hope and forging a future that’s worth fighting and living for. partitio is all about bringing about prosperity to all and seeks to overcome the gigantic task of buying the rights to the steam engine so he can freely distribute it for the better. his resolve to help others is precisely what gets ori to doubt her nihilistic worldview instilled in her by the moonshade order, and it's what keeps her alive when she attempts to sacrifice herself at the fellsun ruins. ori states in her journal that she believes people, businessmen like partitio, are all destined to fall into the pitfall of greed that makes people suffer, much like how roque brilliante turned out, yet partitio’s compassion changes her mind. it’s really cool, even if it’s a detail buried among a sea of other stuff you have to read to piece everything together. (love the final chapter and its plot revelations, but yeah it's sort of disappointing that a lot of information is obtained through reading ori's journal rather than any kind of interaction between all of the members, but alas)

agnea on the surface has a really lighthearted story that doesn’t really have a natural place to mention the death cult lurking in the shadows of everyone’s story or the supernatural magic that will be used to bring about eternal night (see again, tanzy’s very minor presence compared to other moonshade order members). i thought the same at first after my first playthrough. HOWEVER! her story, more than anyone else’s, IS about hope, the main theme of the game. her final battle theme + the thing she works on her whole story is uniquely called the ‘song of hope’. she’s the only traveler to not have a version of the final battle theme; rather than being an epic clash between her greatest foe, it's a triumphant, uplifting song that she debuts in her "battle" with dolcinea ('song of hope' is such an amazing song too, perhaps my favorite in the ost). her journey involves inspiring others to keep moving forward in the face of adversity, such as motivating gill to pursue his ambitions as a musician or giselle to overcome her doubts or giving laila a reason to keep living and dancing despite her circumstances. it only makes sense then that she is the one to give the final speech that properly ends the story of the game, as it’s her journey that fully encapsulates that theme of hope for the future. it was the very thing the main villains thought there was none left in the world, that nihilism that made them want to put the world out of its misery by bringing about an endless night since the dawn was not worth fighting for.

agnea feels like the true protagonist of the game in my opinion, even if her story feels the least related to The Big Bads.

she’s not here to fight, she’s here to inspire, ya know!!! AAAAA

(if i ever play octopath 2 for the third time, ill definitely be picking her as my starter~)

(the reason why i’m kinda up on my soapbox defending my girl is bc i saw a gamefaqs thread of someone explaining this significance agnea’s story has to the main plot and themes and everyone dismissing it as a dumb, stretchy non-answer. YOU GAMERS KNOW NOTHING!!! /lh)

anyway, as far as lighthearted stories w a sort of vague goal go in octopath traveler, agnea’s heavily tying back to the main theme of the game makes it stronger than someone’s like tressa or alfyn’s since they kind of had their own plots that didn’t really relate back to anyone else’s. their only connection to everyone else’s stories were through their connections with graham crossford, which is PRETTY COOL!! but he was long dead/transformed into redeye before the events of the game and tressa and alfyn sorta do their own thing after he indirectly inspired them to go traveling. it just feels more vague i guess?

~

apologies this is really rambly. again, i lifted this from an infodump i wrote on the fly, so i was not really essay-brained, but i hope my point comes across adequately?

all the same, i just have a big appreciation and love for this game. i'm proud to call it my favorite video game, and though it has its problems, it's very special to me and i like talking about it. hopefully i got that across to any reader on this here post, and maybe it inspires a new appreciation for agnea's story and its place in octopath traveler 2 :)

[pentrologram]

What Normal People Do

John 'Soap' Mactavish and Simon 'Ghost' Riley have routines. They have also each other, the truck, the dog, and their flat. That is until the dog practically manhandles you into their life. Changes ensue. please be warned this is very self indulgent and probably not in character at all. i have never played MM2, i haven't watched a single playthrough (unless countless tiktok edits count) and I only know what I do about their characters from a lot of tumblr posts and fics on ao3. speaking of- ao3! ghost/soap/gn!reader (established ghoap)

I'll Run Away With You

Simon Riley is not known for being tender and soft-spoken- he wasn’t a lieutenant because he spoon-fed soldiers and tucked them in on cots in the middle of a war field. He earned his stay on Earth, earned his title, hell, earned the clothes on his back. God would have had his head if he hadn’t made sure the younger, more incompetent kind didn’t have to, too.

It was hard for him to find that balance between the harshness of his job and the still bad but significantly less thorny outside (or inside?) world. Sometimes, while on the field, old injuries from years past would randomly decide to rear their heads. Maybe it would be an old knife wound that felt like it was bruising all over again or his ears would ring like he was hearing gunshots in the middle of a Marks and Spencers.

He was a valuable soldier, he knew. There were bunches and gaggles of people who wanted his head mounted on a stick- too many to count, and properly address. He was only one man, though. It would make sense that after all those years, it would weigh on him.

When he was younger, newer to the military, he tried to be normal when he was off duty. What his mam would have wanted for him, had she not been a deadbeat and dead. Polo shirts that stretched around his wide frame tucked into jeans, taking care of the flat he rented somewhere in the countryside-city (it’s not really a suburb but he calls it that anyways because who cares?) and pretending to debate about vacuums and silverware. Because that’s what normal people do.

But as time went on, it got harder to separate work from his life, and he just… let it consume him. Now that same suburb-y flat is in a place more urban than sub, “prime real estate,” he overheard in a decent pub with a pint once in between missions. Rent’s gone up, that’s damn sure. He offhandedly considers buying the whole building sometimes- he’s got bloody enough money, more than enough from saving absentmindedly, as the money had nowhere notable to go- but he wouldn’t be present enough to be a landlord and that shite. The flat he tried to furnish when he was twenty-something is still furnished the same way, if not a little more touched up by Johnny and his never-ending energy, and sometimes, it feels like being in a dead person’s house. It’s lived in but in a state of perpetual disrepair, never feeling like an actual home (at least for him).

The fridge was rarely ever stocked with anything but condiments and beer during their military days- he and Johnny never really had the energy to cook, preferring to use their free time elsewhere- but the bed had a frame (better than what he can think of some of his friends, bleedin’ Johnny and bringing girls back to a mattress on the floor before he moved in with Simon) and a rug underneath it and even a potted plant on a side table that is 100% plastic. It catches the light nicely in the wee hours of the morning, though, so it’s worth dusting the thin, leathery material of the fake lily now and again.

The flat is more furnished now, now that they’re officially in retirement. Knick knacks found at thrift stores or random handouts from the festivals and fairs that they go to every season, just to feel a little human again. There are more plastic plants on the side table now and Simon even tentatively tried a spider plant six months ago. It’s still alive, flourishing even, and now Simon has a couple of gardening books. Sometimes, when neither of them can sleep, Simon reads them out loud while Johnny fiddles with some new craft. Johnny says out loud once that they should get a house, for Simon and his plants.

Johnny came home with him every time they got some leave time together. The two of them are one in the same, really, feral animals without an off switch. It makes it easy for a relationship to foster, their understanding of the other in such an intimate and vulnerable way. It lets them open up guarded and bruised hearts, letting the other shine a flashlight on them and deciding to love them anyway. It’s the same as the hopeless romantic shit that you see in movies but plays out a lot dirtier in real life- it’s all the love and passion and borderline insanity that comes with a real first love mixed with the obsession of two retired soldiers who had been in the game too long and longer still without anyone normal to add some perspective to their lives.

That’s how it’ll always be, Simon thinks to himself as he stares at Johnny, hulk of a man he is, curled around Simon like a docile little thing- he surely looks it, as he was dwarfed by the extra five inches and the fifty pounds Simon had on him. He’s asleep- man sleeps like the dead, anywhere and everywhere- mohawk unruly and sticking up every which way. Getting long, Simon thinks to himself as he runs a hand through it- slightly sweat slicked but soft from a shower that night. It’s the right on the cusp of summer, the AC working hard- in this old flat, it doesn’t work the best but gets the brunt of it done. Simon’s opened up a window, (hesitantly- but between him, Johnny, and the dog, it’s sweltering and he fears he might get heatstroke) the one closest to his reach, so that the mesh covering can ventilate the room. They’re three stories up, but neither he nor Johnny enjoy having windows open. Too many weaknesses. He takes advantage of the window, though, lighting up a cigarette with a Zippo Johnny got for him a year ago.

His life is full of opposites, he finds. Johnny tends to take up a room, but Simon moves silently, just like his callsign. Johnny sleeps like a log while Simon struggles with his insomnia (right now he hopes the cigarette will help quiet him enough for sleep).

It won’t, Simon thinks to himself as he watches the moon move through the window and sinks below where he can see and eventually, the sun makes its appearance known. He puts his cigarette out sometime between the sun bleeding to view and the first rays of dawn because time keeps on moving and then Johnny is shifting awake at 0800. Johnny blinks, eyes already bright, ready for the day. He’s always alert when he wakes up, force of habit, Simon supposes. He doesn’t sleep enough himself to be so put together when he wakes up.

Then their day goes as follows:

Johnny puts the telly and the kettle on while Simon makes them brekkie. After two cups of tea are made (one with enough creamer to strangle a cow and the other black and simple, the way God intended it, as Johnny’ll tell Simon) and toast and egg sandwiches like the ones from cafes that Johnny learned how to make on a whim are put together, they sit for a while, just enjoying their company. Johnny fiddles with something- today it’s the newspaper- and Simon reads a book, and every once and a while, there’ll be a fair advertised in the paper. The fairs have always been there, in the city, but the two of them never really had the time while in the military. Now, they have more time than they can think to do with it, and so Johnny dragging Simon to them is now a familiar routine.

“‘S strawberries thi’ year,” Johnny says out loud.

“Mm?” Simon hums, immediately knowing what Johnny is talking about.

“Shite, 't started tae days ago.” He puts the paper down and puts his hands on his knees, and Simon puts a bookmark in his book before getting up.

They work cohesively around each other while getting ready to go to the fair. Johnny searches through the walk-in closet for a shirt and Simon digs through their dresser for socks. Johnny fixes his mohawk while Simon hooks a surgical mask around his ears. Johnny laces his sneakers up and pulls Riley’s harness on and Simon pulls on a hoodie, and then the three of them are in Simon’s truck, chugging along to the Town Center, where there are tents and stalls and people with strawberry hats. They get strawberry cider, strawberry pound cake and strawberry-shaped pasta to take home and strawberry cider that the both of them conclude is just Sp

rite in a pink glass bottle. Simon has to talk Johnny down from buying a big, ugly strawberry hat for Riley and compensates with a ceramic strawberry planter. There are strawberry-printed picnic blankets spread underneath trees with strawberry lanterns connecting them, lighting up the public park as the sun dances in the sky. Simon watches idly while Riley bites at a chip Johnny offers her.

They have a moment of peace there, on the picnic blanket, before Riley loses her shit and starts pulling on her leash, her distress signal- usually for Simon, but obviously for someone else now, if the desperate way she’s struggling against her harness is anything to go by. Simon gets up begrudgingly, the metal plate in his knee protesting as he jogs to meet Riley’s speed as she practically sprints behind one of the stalls. There is you; half curled on yourself with your phone in your hands. Riley rips herself out of Simon’s hold and barrels into you, calculating her speed so she’s at a trot when she lays her weight across your lap. You blink, phone forgotten, and Simon watches, silent, as you flinch away. Riley’s nothing if not persistent though, and eventually her weight forces you to calm down. Huh. Simon thinks offhandedly. You still haven’t noticed him, big and hulking as he is, just focused on Riley’s comforting weight as you calm yourself, slow, stuttering breaths evening, phone forgotten. DPT, Simon thinks to himself. When you calm entirely, you spot Simon. Your eyes go wide and you immediately try to wiggle out from underneath Riley.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry, your dog sort of- um, trapped me here, I didn’t mean to-“

“No.” Simon says, and his gruff tone matched with his physique is enough to quiet you. “She wanted to help you. ‘S fine.” He says.

“Um,” you say. “Okay. Are you sure?” Simon just grunts in response.

"Are you okay?” He asks, his voice softening just a little.

“Oh, um. Yeah.”

Simon doesn’t believe you.

He stares down at you for a long while, and your expression gradually grows more anxious.

“I just, um- I have an, um. A thing.” You say quietly.

“Are you okay?” He asks again, giving you a chance to tell the truth, to redeem yourself. “Riley doesn’t start DPT on total strangers for no reason.” This time, Simon’s insistent, giving you no wiggle room. He stares two holes through the back of your head. You look uneasy.

“No, I’m OK. Just… got a little upset.” You say, giving him a little smile. Simon stares longer than necessary. Just as he’s about to answer, Johnny comes in running.

“Si, ‘ave found a strawberry sex stall-!“ Johnny starts before his eyes land on you. Pleasantries are exchanged before you squeak out an excuse and you make a point in scurrying out before Johnny can even start his main charming event. Johnny pouts but watches you go.

“Bonnie, that one,” he murmurs, if a little mournfully. Simon only grunts in agreement.

Later that evening, the interaction is forgotten about. Passed off as just a weird event, perhaps an endearing story to tell about Riley- (sweet girl, always so concerned for others- took off running for a stranger once, she did)- and nothing more.

That night goes as follows:

Johnny and the dog watch telly until Simon is done with dinner. They eat together, their little family, Riley eating her generic shepherd’s meal through her slow feeder, chowing loudly while Simon and Johnny talk about everything and nothing at all. Then they all sit together on the sofa to watch a random movie. It’s time for bed after, which means brushing their teeth, showering, washing hair and getting the last of Riley’s jitters out. Then the three of them settle in bed- it’s barely past 1100 before Johnny’s out like a light.

This is where the routine of retired life varies:

Sometimes Simon will sleep. Sometimes he will stay up for a night, then two, then twelve. Sometimes he’ll take the medicines he is supposed to and others he will wake with night terrors. Sometimes he’ll wake up and feel so broken he’ll wake Johnny up so that can cuddle and fall asleep together and sometimes the dog will wake Simon before an especially bad nightmare.

Yes, his life really is full of contradictions, Simon thinks. Because knows he is in love with Johnny but somehow cannot get his mind off the brief meeting he had with you. He takes after his father in more ways than one, it appears. The heart of a cheater hidden in the skin of a new mind. He and Johnny have had thirds before- but Simon’s never felt so enraptured by one before. Not so quickly, not so strongly, not so potently. He finds himself craving to know more about you, to learn everything about you- the same way he felt about Johnny when they first met. The revelation makes him stay up and smoke and watch the moon bleed to the sun, with Johnny curled to his side and Riley in their bed.

Then their day goes as follows:

Johnny puts the telly and the kettle on while Simon makes them brekkie. After two cups of tea are made and omelettes are put together, they sit for a while, just enjoying their company. Johnny fiddles with something- today it’s a new paper craft- and Simon reads a book. Sometime during that, they'll part ways. Maybe the dog needs a walk or Johnny takes a piss- it's a little like a game of wills, looking for who will tap out of just sitting there first. Today, it's Johnny. He gets up to get his laptop before settling back on the couch with the TV buzzing lowly. Johnny job hunts. Simon reads. Johnny feeds the dog. Simon ponders their pension. At some point both of their minds wander to the same topic- you.

Then their night goes as follows:

Johnny and the dog watch telly until Simon is done cooking dinner. They eat together, their little family, Riley eating her generic kibble, chewing loudly while Simon and Johnny talk about everything and nothing at all. Then they all sit together on the sofa to watch a random movie. It’s time for bed after, which means brushing their teeth, showering, washing hair and walking Riley to tire him out. Then the three of them settle in bed- it’s not even past 1100 before Johnny’s asleep.

Then the routine of retired life varies:

This night, Simon lays on his back like a log before curling into Johnny's back. He sleeps that night.

[pokemon-dungeon-masters]

Progress Update!

I know it’s been a while since I posted an update on here so here’s just a big update dump!

Last time I really talked on here, I was about to run a few beta test sessions. Which did happen but too much happened during the two sessions and I ultimately had to cancel the rest. Which was a bummer but its ok! I got a lot of good data on what did and did not work. So I took a few weeks as a break and got back to work. Most of said work has been reworking the Move dex to be clearer and more consistent. Which brings me to…

The Move Dex is now at version 6!

@bdigfreakingwooper and I, as well as a few others from the discord server, have gone through the entire move dex (again) and its hopefully in the last stages of development! Combat still needs overhauled somewhat so the move dex might need to be updated again afterwards but other than that, I don’t foresee any other big issues so I’m happy with where its at.

It now includes all moves (excluding z-moves & dynamax/ gigantamax moves), a few custom moves (still being added to), Key words, and move range descriptions/examples. I will be posting it here in the near future, once combat has been reworked and a few more custom moves have been added. Here’s a few notable moves that I just want to show off:

I’m sure parts of this won’t make much sense yet so if there’s anything you’re curious about, let me know!

Current Focus

What we’re currently working on is creating an Ability dex, with every ability being adapted to this system. We’ve started work on it and it hopefully won’t take nearly as long as the Move dex to finish (or finished enough). Other than a few annoying ones (looking at Transform) its not too bad! My personal favorite so far is Ball Fetch, the signature ability of Yamper, which in this system has a D6 Chance to regain an Orb after a party member uses it, if User has free pouch slot. Just the thought of little Yamper running to retrieve Orbs is so cute I couldn’t help myself lol.

As for what comes after the Ability dex, I have an ever growing To-Do list that’s slowly being worked through, starting with overhauling the combat system. Then there’s going through all the status effects, weather, terrain, items, Dojo effects, and a bunch of other stuff. Once that’s done I’ll be going back to working on the Player’s Guide, which will be a simple introductory guide to the system, character creation, and a few other important things. After that? No clue. We’ll see what happens!

Other Stuff

The server has reached over 30 members! Its been an absolute blast to hang out in with everyone. I definitely wouldn’t have gotten as much work as I have without those in the server, most notably Nines (@bdigfreakingwooper) who is now the Co-Creator of PDM! She has done a lot work independently as well, like creating a version of the character sheet that automatically fills in stuff like move information and a treasure bag sheet that does the same with items! Its absolutely insane, biggest thanks to her for being here through so much of the development.

Also about the server, I’ve been streaming a playthrough of Explorers of Sky, following the adventures of Team Soy Bois, and it’s been a huge blast. A few of us have even been doing voices for all the characters and some others enjoy just joining muted and chiming in using the text chat. We also have been doing movie nights, going through all the Pokémon movies, which has been on hiatus but will be starting back up next week! Its overall a very chill place and I would encourage anyone following the blog to consider checking it out!

As always, I appreciate the support and interactions from everyone and I will try my best to update more regularly! If you have any questions or comments or anything, my asks and DMs are open!

[soulsisterif]

LITG Season 9

(Not Soul Sister related, people, just ranting)

After weeks and weeks of not playing I got up to date with season 9 and... Well, actually I didn't finish playing the latest volume. Same disappointments as always. I'm not one to post to complain but I'm kinda frustrated. Ranting got too long, so, under the cut.

First off I understand that male LIs are also infuriating and that wlw players are not this game's target audience (then again, there are few of those) but dude, at this point I'd rather not have any sapphic options. The last route I recall being actually good (by which I mean the female LI not stringing me along à la Marisol until the very end) was Najuma's and Angie's, and that was season 4. Yes, you can only couple up with Angie at the end too, but you get so many info about her, and so many sweet moments and bonding that I didn't even care. And it's more about her being unsure of her feelings than unwilling to be with you. Quite relatable. Peak of this game for me, if I'm being honest. Good friends to lovers, even if they went too far too fast with the sex scene in my opinion. Still, it was very well written!

But every single season after that had the female LI fucking drooling over several men (and sometimes women too) and then adding a half-assed line like, "'oh, but I don't know, I have my eyes on someone else too', she gives you a wink". Like that makes it okay? I think the only truly unapologetically loyal female LIs were Najuma and AJ back in season 3.

They put so little thought into incorporating the wlw routes that to make them progress you have ludicrous paths. Like, in my playthrough Henri won a challenge and as a prize my MC could actually dismiss him and choose to go to the hideaway with Natasha or Kelly instead. Like ??? That's just bad writing.

What's worse, we can't even make friends anymore, it's all about romance, which wipes out most of the appeal this game had for me. Practically every islander, even after you reject them, comes at the MC confessing their undying love like a crazy stalker for no reason, because we know nothing about each other! Besides half of the options you have to get to know more about what's happening around you force you to be an insufferable gossip or a petty child. "Let's listen to a private convo, MC", "Why don't you sneak a kiss with guy 2 to make guy 1 jealous?" And you have to pay an unfair amount of gems to do it, on top of it!

I want to get to know the characters BEFORE I choose who I want to pick. I want to know the characters even if they are not romanceable. It's ridiculous, though, that there are seasons in which you know more about your besties than you do about your LI. That's why Angie, or Seb, or Nicky, or Viv or Thabi, hell, even Hope and Lottie, wth all their flaunted flaws are so appealing. That's why Season 2 is so goddam popular. We had actual interactions back then. Now, whatever interactions there are, you just witness.

This is also why people like games like Too Hot to Handle so much more. I'm not really into guys but I still play their routes because it's good content beyond romance stuff. Hell, Jirayu may be my favourite out of this season's bunch. And they're all different! It's an interactive game, choices should matter.

At this point I'll probably stop playing and limit myself to read other people roasting Fusebox. Honestly, a company that asks for the fans' opinions season after season just to ignore all the feedback doesn't deserve half the players they still have.

There, ranting over XD

[spaceacerat]

Realized I never made a pinned post. Hm.

Call me V. Aged mid 20s. Nonbinary, asexual.

I use literally any pronouns. Doesn't matter much to me though, as I don't really feel like a person most of the time anyways, so have at.

Mentally ill, and have been for my entire life. I try to be upfront about it because I can be a little off-putting, or so I've been told. Anyways, I know people say 'hey, don't put your stuff on the internet' but eh. I've spent my whole life convinced I'm being recorded anyways 🤷. I'm diagnosed with a bunch of stuff.

You may see the occasional post about my life or illnesses around here because I'm trying to get used to sharing my experiences rather than just letting this blog be an archive of art and posts I like like I did with my old personal blogs.

I'll be tagging the art I commissioned under some tag, but rn it's just commission or commissions.

Current fixation is DMC! I got into it back before dmc4 came out, but it was only through watching playthroughs because somebody didn't want to let me watch them play 3. Found out about dmc5 back in 2022 (no clue how I didn't hear about it At All before then, but that also means I had no spoilers!! Got to play it with no clue what was going to happen!) and have become reobsessed since.

Also into: Shodan, Portal, Half Life, Ihnmaims, etc.

I write sometimes, private rp with my partner frequently, and otherwise just Chill and survive.

Whooh... Anyways. If you ever wanna reach out, please do! My asks and messages are always open. I'm still learning how to properly socialize, and having people to talk to helps! I would like to make friends, even if it's just rambling about characters/AUs and stuff! 👉👈

[betweenlands]

reblogged all the positivity from yesterday so i can Make My Own Post TM about the epidemic of "this should've been a miniseries" -- because pacing-wise, tone-wise, plot-wise, Ocean should never have been three hours long. it's one of Legs's longest non-compilation videos and it is also full of a lot of... not much happening besides the same core gameplay loop.

that'd be fine if i was looking for podcast/"second monitor" content that i could put on in the background while i do something else, but 100DMV is an ARG. there is no reason to make a video this long for a series that is, secretly or not, part of a running plotline. the two are at odds with each other. an ARG needs to be something you want to give your full attention to, make sure you aren't missing anything, pick apart and rewatch multiple times to analyze strange details. a three-hour video is directly hostile to that and a timesink for no reason.

i don't have a problem with longer videos -- there's a reason i cite hbomberguy as my usual exception to the Three Hour Balk Point -- but with Legundo's stuff, i'm increasingly finding it just doesn't have the same substance to hold together its own runtime. i mean, Ocean is longer than:

Sculk Apocalypse (kind of on the long side and could be shorter, but generally uses that runtime to keep a strong sense of tension and fighting to survive. has a very strong hook, multiple "time limits," and a clearly defined endgoal from the start.)

Undercover (a video with Legs actively trying to pretend he's not playing on the server he's playing on, consisting of secret community interaction, cool builds, the potential for a lot of lore drops, and a clearly defined time limit/endgoal from the start.)

Nights (the S1 finale of 100DMV, containing a whole bunch of separate mods to tinker with that hadn't previously been seen before, a good deal of lore, uses its runtime to keep a strong sense of tension and fighting to survive)

the Zombie Apocalypse scenario (full of interpersonal tactics and tension, contained a lot of person-to-person interaction and discussion, had a clearly defined time limit/endgoal from the start)

Dimensional Doors (the video that got me into 100DMV! full of strong plot beats, had variety but began cutting stuff when the dungeon pockets got too repetitive, contained a good deal of lore. also had the bonus of namechecking a mod i knew, recognized, and enjoyed that then made up a good deal of the playthrough's runtime)

the entirety of Deceit Season One, including the wrap-up episode (I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU HOW INSANE DECEIT MAKES ME. JUST. HUH???)

and then there's the one i suspect started it all, the Game of Thrones scenario.

the GoT scenario is long. it clocks in at a little under 3 hours. but the difference between GoT and a lot of the other long videos is that it uses every single second of its runtime. there is a clearly defined endgoal and a time limit for that endgoal. there are a lot of different mods that play off each other and are used in interesting ways for interesting tactics (as well as smart use of vanilla mechanics). it has clearly defined sections for people that don't want to binge-watch all at once (including one that is pointed out to the viewer in-video as a good time to take a breather). it has, and this is critical, multiple running subplots owing to the fact that there are somewhere in the neighborhood of 50+ players on the server, most of whom are working for one team or another.

GoT works because of interaction between other players. a singleplayer quest for the Iron Throne would not feel nearly as tense or engaging -- but because there's a great deal of interpersonal politics, planning, and battle tactics, it keeps up the variety and nicely flows between downtime, negotiations, and battles. and, because there are multiple players in the conflict, something is always happening offscreen. the world of GoT isn't static, and doesn't only change when Legundo Specifically does something. it is always changing, all the time, when even a single person is logged in, and it means that there is no possible way to get stuck in one gameplay loop for too long because someone is always going to either finish that loop or throw a curveball into it from completely offscreen.

i've made my peace with Haunted Winter being so long, even though it probably should've been a four-part miniseries with one episode per each season. it still has those clearly defined "season" segments, has multiple mods that are being used in different ways at different times, and contains both a known time-limit and interesting editing that keeps up a decently strong sense of tension. it's also the S2 finale of 100DMV, so i can understand how it'd run a little long.

but, and i cannot stress this enough, there is no good reason Ocean -- which consists almost exclusively of a core "loot ships, return to current base, build/mine, loot ships" gameplay loop with no real variation until the mod in the thumbnail really comes into play on day 74 -- should be three hours long. there's no good reason for it to be longer than GoT, than Sculk Apocalypse, than Deceit S1. in the time it takes to watch Ocean, i could rewatch most of Deceit S2. if i set the Ocean video to loop and walked away, i could go rewatch every single Dominion episode that Legundo has ever uploaded and come back in time to find the Ocean video only partway through its third loop.

i really hope this doesn't keep happening. 100DMV used to be something i could recommend without caveats, at the most go "it's got some slightly clickbaity intros, and it might start a little slow, but it picks up quickly and stays really good." now i'm in a situation where the second season runs incredibly long and i genuinely don't know if i'd tell people to get into it anymore -- because right now, at the pace the story is progressing, with the length of videos being put out, it just is not worth the time investment.

i like 100DMV. i like 100DMV a lot. i mean, i'm writing a multichapter fanfiction about it, of course i like it. but if i hadn't gotten into it when i did, with an hour-and-a-half long video about Dimensional Doors, i would be seeing 2-3 hour long videos in my recommended, shrug and go "nah," and then go watch something else.

and this frustrates me. i know 100DMV can be good. i know 100 Days videos can be tightly edited, engaging, interesting fiction with a lot of strong plot hooks despite having a fairly repetitive gameplay loop. i know there's got to be a way to fix this, but i can't do that. all i can do is point out how it comes across to a specific subsection of the audience and hope that it doesn't just come across as needless bashing on something kind of popular.

because it's not. i say all this because i love storytelling in MCYT videos -- it's why i've been here for so long. i say all this because i don't want it to become a lost art for more and more people because long videos do better in Youtube's algorithm.

[nikkori-kori-kori-kori-koriandaa]

WE'RE SO BACK (pkmn-blue -> nikkori-kori-kori-kori-koriandaa)

wowzers i finally made a pinned post!! hooray!!! Info under the cut ^_^

link to my favorite video on the whole internet

## About Me!!

My name is Sumi, but you can also call me Selene!! (Juli is only for mutuals ^_^) My birthday is February 9, and im bi ace + nonbinary (xe/they)!

My main interests right now are pokemon/pokespe, vocaloid, and genshin impact (tragically). I speak both english and spanish (🇲🇽), though im not too good at writing as I am speaking

Uhh for dni it’s the usual stuff but I block SUPER freely so if I don’t like you you’ll know lmao. Just be nice and we can all be friends!!

ALSO if we’re mutuals know that I love and care for all of you you’re all so cool and amazing ^_^!!!

Discord is umi.sumi :>

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

## Other Blogs!!

This blog is my main, but i have a few others you should totally check out ooohh:

@edit-corner - editing blog! @virtual-idol - resource blog for editing stuff!

@prinzessin-derr-verurteilung - where I save a ton of layouts, graphics, stamps etc!

Theres also a super secret one in the making oooooohhhh

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

## Tags!!

I tag nearly everything cuz I LOVE sorting stuff, but I have a bunch of random tags so here’s a list of those:

☆ juli.txt - my talking tag! ☆ sumicore - info and stuff about me, some are just silly fun things and others are actual like. facts about me lmao. basically any polls cuz i rant in the tags for those ☆ the world is beautiful and I want to live!!! - hopecore stuff?? idk but there’s 3 exclamation marks ☆ images - vaguely aesthetic images but also just pictures I like ☆ queue? queue!! - self explanatory, all the art I have queued is there (99.999% of the things in the queue are fanart lmao) ((it’s actually a problem I have 300+ artworks as of right now)) ☆ hall of fame - my most favoritest posts ever ever forever ☆ teammates - pokemon I’ve used on my playthroughs! they mean the world 2 me ^_^ ☆ words - quotes and poems and stories I’ve liked ☆ creatures - all sorts of animals cause I don’t wanna tag all that

If there’s anything specific you need tagged, let me know!! For eye strain stuff, I tag everything as bright colors.

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

## Kins (for fun lmao)

dont take this seriously this is just for funsies:

☆ selene (pkmn) ☆ gold/ethan (pkmn) ☆ sumire yoshizawa (p5r) ☆ fischl (genshin impact) ☆ nene kusanagi (prsk) ☆ kagamine rin and len (vocaloid+prsk)

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

im literally so obsessed with pokemon/pokespe right now its insane and ESPECIALLY the kantrio (red, blue, green) + selene so if u want to rant about that you ABSOLUTELY should! I love hearing people’s head canons and opinions cuz I can’t put my own thoughts into words

Umm I think that’s everything lol I’ll add stuff if need be

[xviistrings]

if you had to punt exactly one playable persona character into the sun, who would it be and why?

i have to pick just one? aww...

well, i classify my urge to punt someone as how much i hate and despise and fucking loathe them. but my reasoning behind hating a character is based on multiple factors;

do they have/learn good skills/abilities?

are they well written in the story?

are they well written in their social link?

writing aside, do i like them as a person?

now, the only games i have played out of the persona series are 4 & 5(NOT ROYAL). i read the p1 manga and am only watching playthroughs of the game, so i am not at all in any place to cast judgement on those guys, nor do one of those factors even apply to them... so that already narrows it down a whole bunch. i would never punt a single p1 character. they're all great (except maybe kei just for the 4th one) (but he's great. i love him. i think about him and get sad)

and i'm also eliminating the protagonists for obvious reasons, so we've already disqualified 11 characters. and with that out of the way, we can officially begin...

PERSONA'S PERILOUS PLAY OF PUNTING POTENTIAL!!!! (contains spoilers)

every character will be able to score out of 3 in each factor, and the one with the least amount of points wins the game as the Most Puntable. it's kind of like golf, which is funny, because i also want to punt golf players into the sun.

our first contestant is YOSUKE HANAMURAAAA

now, i was going to grab a fun little image of him to provide this post with visuals but i always forget that 90% of his search results on google are. uh. hm.

well, this is our situation. can i give him a pity point for that?

for number one, i can say...... 3/3. he was ALWAYS on my team during the whole game and i built him up well. like i was raising a son... sniffle... they grow up so fast...

i have to admit, it was a little annoying when he kept missing crits on the golden hand but is that his fault? no-hohohoooooo, it's merely a turn of fate... (and his fault. fuckyouyosukefuckyoufuckyougaaaah)

for number 2, i rate it 2. he's an ooooookay character in the main story, a lot of his harassment of the girls and kanji really tick me off and there's literally no good explanation as for why he does that other than just being an asshole, but. i guess being an asshole is just part of his personality.........?

EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THERE SHOULD BE GREATER CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS ACTIONS BECAUSE COMMUNICATING THE IDEA THAT BAD PEOPLE GET OFF SCOT-FREE IS TERRIBLE FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS. i don't give 2 shits about fanservice as a whole (in regards to harassing the girls, not the homophobia, that's just annoying) but can we stop making the grounds for it being sexual harassment

number 3 gets a 3! his social link is AMAZING and i CRIED and hes GAY and LOVES HIS FRIENDS!!!!!! if i wanted to do a character analysis on him then i would write a different post, but this is me trying to figure out who i would punt into the sun. so. moving on

number 4......... 1/3. for the previous points in number 2, he is an absolute dickhead and no amount of people-pleasing habits and homoerotic chemistry will make me like him. every person who is mean to him is right.

oh boy, just yosuke's section was reaaaaaaaaaally long... i'll try and shorten it for you, okay?

up next is chie satonaka, my personal favourite persona 4 girl if that sets the baseline for anything.

look at her :] she's so silly :]

for number one, i'm sadly going to have to rate her below 3... like. 1.5? is that allowed? i'll say it is.

she's the party member equivalent of a burner phone. unlike yosuke who's by my side forever and ever, chie is only good until teddie gets a persona and then she's so publicly humiliated that she accidentally misses every single hit. galactic punt YOURSELF MOTHERFUUUUUUUUUCK

number 2, 3/3. no explanation needed, literally just her shadow boss fight and the beauty pageant and her friendship with yukiko and her everything.

number 3... also 3/3. a lot of people give her flack for deciding she wants to be a cop, which i get because acab fuck yeah, but where adachi is a cop just to get attention and a gun, she actually intends to protect people. chie learns to help herself so she can help others... augh... AUGH CHIE I LOVE YOUUUUUU

ahem. number 4, 2/3. she's definitely a sweetheart and she seems fun to be around but i have to admit she's definitely a little annoying sometimes.

and now it's time for chie's bestest friend ever, yukiko amagi!!

she gets a pity point for being a lesbian... not just a lesbian but one having a crush on a straight girl. we've all been there hunny bun. let's watch romcoms and eat ice cream together while crying ok?

number 1..... 3/3 fuck yeah my main healer always coming in clutch!!! after a certain point she stops being the main fire user and the player is supposed to take that role but then she has KICKASS HEALING ABILITIES!! support characters are always my favourites (which might foreshadow my rating for haru.......)

1/3 for number 2. that might sound harsh, but! but but but!

they kind of sucked the life out of her after her dungeon. the only real defining personality traits she has are in her social link, which is unfortunate because so many people hate it!

i don't hate yukiko. never

3 gets a 3. it's a good story actually, and like i said it helps me see yukiko as. like. a person. and a lot of people say it's bad writing that her story ends with her deciding she wants to manage the inn, but let me put a lot of emphasis on 'deciding'. she chose that path for herself after being told she was allowed to do what she likes, and y'know what? i don't think that's bad!

nobody likes being forced to do something. i know i struggled a lot with doing homework because i always felt trapped in those deadlines and expectations, but i didn't just give up on school. improving my grades was my own choice, and i realized that i had potential to change myself despite my situation and succeed! that's what yukiko's social link is about. not giving in to other people's expectations, but thriving in the environment you're given...

i just said i wanted to shorten everything and now i'm ranting. always number 4 is a 3/3 she's literally just a girl and her laughing thing is cute idgaf.

KANJI TATSUMIIIIIIIII

subtracting a point for those shoes. get out.

number 1 is a 2/3. he was cool, but nobody ever compares to yosuke. i mainly used him for his physical skills rather than magic because yu took that role very easily, and when paired with teddie or yukiko he's just a boss. but he's not my favourite party member in the world

number 2, i'll be blunt, 1/3. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO YOU MAN. we all saw how yosuke and everyone else and the whole damn story treated him. we all saw the line where he asked naoto to be femme so they could "make him a man". shut the fuck upppppp

number 3 is his saving grace. i know some people don't like that they never elaborated on the sexuality thing (or the... sexism..??) and i get that, having a character who's canonically mspec but only vaguely mentions it once and never again is really annoying and a half-assed attempt at representation. though i interpret his reconciliation with his sewing hobby, an aspect of him that everyone thinks is unmanly and should be shamed, as a metaphor for his own sexuality. similar to daisuke and soccer being a stand-in for his anxiety around romance and girls. in that case, it's a 3/3.

(plus there's the line "it's so cute it'll give you diabetes" and... kanji... *facepalm*)

number 4. he's cutie. a little weird, but cutie. 2/3

and now, a girl who needs no introduction.

god my feelings for her are as mixed as my auntie's desert lasagna. ("let's mix it up," she says...)

i don't have anything against the navigators. they're pretty good. i say 3/3.

however i hate rise's writing. -4/3. negative numbers are cheating? I DON'T CARE!!

her dungeon is a STRONG start to her character, like with everyone else. i love rise reconciling with the fact that there is no "real me" and everyone has different sides of themselves that they need to make it through life... and the fact that it ties in with teddie's conflict of feeling hollow, like an alien or an impostor only pretending to be alive........ oh my god! hiiiiii!!!!! love it!

and then rise's main bit in the story is crushing on the protagonist.......... sigh.

i really really REALLY hate that about her actually. i really hate forced romances. and before you go calling me a hypocrite for liking souyo and not yurise even though souyo has the exact same amount of flirty moments between them, that's because those two are really subtle with each other and have a really good initial friendship to back it up and also ties in with their actual personalities.......???? (we can debate forever and ever if yu has a personality but i say he does. he's consistently portrayed in other adaptations and spinoffs. he's got so much in common with yosuke)

but rise just kind of sees yu and goes "hey handsome. killing shadows all by yourself?" and it's like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh.... 90% of the time she's on screen it's to flirt with yu and the other 10% is serious moments or when she's with anyone but yu. there's no moments where she gets to be casual and friendly with HIM, where we get to see DEPTH to their relationship, it's just purely flirting. and i hate that. so much. is this a one-night stand? no? then give me some actual fucking chemistry

and i feel like all of that smushing-dolls-together time takes away from a lot of genuine scenes with rise where she....... yk.... shows off her personality?

the hot springs and the trip to tatsumi port island are held dearly in my heart because rise DOES SHIT. she's silly and goofy and playful and maybe she says some stuff that's a little perverted but it's not to the yosuke degree. i like the idea that rise flirts with ALL of her friends, not just yu; it makes her feel like she's really part of the friend group, which is the investigation team's strongest suit.

rise and yukiko both have any personality ripped from them in favour of dumb bits that aren't even funny and that post of mine analyzing their dynamic during the school field trip is so everything guys they're so great as a duo i need to see more of them pleapelpslepalpelspes.......

...whoops. i ranted.

number 3 gets a 2/3. it's kind of just a rehash of what she learned in the main story, which is fine, but not ideal.

rise as a person is 3/3. absolute silliness all around. love her

KUMA KUMA KUMAAAAA

look at this fucking guy. ridiculous. i hate him. he's so annoying and dumb and he sucks

3/3 on party member he's totally goated

3/3 on main story he makes me feel the whole spectrum of emotions and then some

his social link is automated so technically thats a 3/3 too

3/3 person he might be an annoying little shit but i have 2 younger cousins. i understand yosuke. it's endearing to me

teddie is peak. i would never punt him.

now............to.

entirely honest, i'm on my second persona 4 playthrough to complete the social links i never finished and... naoto is one of those. so i will be unable to determine the rating for one of the factors. but luckily i'm not shit at math so it'll work out in the end

for 1...... honestly they're a good party member as well, but because i didn't get very far in their social link, i didn't unlock that ability where she's able to withstand a deadly blow meaning he would just be constantly dying. like. constantly.

but that's kind of the only thing i like about naoto. i have to rate their main storyline a 1/3. it's absolutely shit and the gender plottwist (ughh) is so badly done. i'm personally thinking up a rewrite for his character because i think they were onto something with the message about misogyny in the workplace but she's so SHITTILY executed that it's just muddied

naoto as a person is..... ok. 2/3. i don't find many things about her that exceptional or fun. i don't think about them often. if this were my rewrite of him it'd be waaaay deep down in the negatives because they are an ASSHOLE but i love them way more :3

and next is ryu.............uh........ actually, this is way too long. much too long than you probably anticipated... um... maybe i'll cut it short, make a part 2 later.

until next time........ on PERSONA'S PERILOUS PLAY OF PUNTING POTENTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!