#also i love all of these shows and more but alas i only have ten options

[iguessitsjustme]

These are my personal favorites. And I got enough sleep so I'm feeling cruel again.

(I only put completed shows on these polls)

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Hi! I hope you’re doing great! I wanted to tell you that I stumbled upon your blog with no idea on what to find. I haven’t even gotten past the third episode of season 1 of TLK, but I’m already obsessed with Sihtric and it’s because of youuuu

I wanted to make a request of Modern boxer!Sihtric x Physiotherapist!Reader. Like, he’s quite serious and rough due to his line of work, but then reader shows up as his new physio and then you can take it from there! With a lot of pining and pent up longing until smut ensues 👀

-💜

Warnings: smut! 18+. Also mention of blood and violence.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: see the request!

Word count: 6,1k

Note: first of all: WHATTTT, I love how you became obsessed with him already! I did my job well ;) but, okay, onto the fic: I looooved writing this one. I personally really enjoy MMA (which includes boxing techniques) so it was fun to actually write a little about that! But fucking helllllll the line between Sihtric and Arnas was getting awfully thin here for me, which caused me to take quite a while to finish this, because I kept changing things to erase "Arnas" for me. But alas, I gotta leave it as it is at some point. So, thank you for your patience. I hope it's worth the wait.

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us

'I see the way you look at me during your sessions.'

********************

Sihtric Kjartansson. Professional boxer, cocky and overall pretty full of himself. Yeah, you've heard of your new client. You knew more of the rumours about him than what he actually looked like. And you lied if you said you weren't nervous. Apparently the boxer had recently fired his last physiotherapist and you were surprised when his agent contacted you, asking if you wanted the job. You usually didn't work with professional sporters, knowing how rude and stubborn they can be, but taking Sihtric as a client meant you'd have your bills covered for, at least, the next ten years. So you accepted, and he was about to come in for his intake.

Sihtric showed up, much to your surprise, in time. You guessed he recently had sparred, as he had a cut lip and a bruised cheek, and upon seeing his toned arms, you knew Sihtric had a good sparring partner if he had managed to throw a few punches back at Sihtric.

'Sihtric, hi,' you smiled and introduced yourself. He gave you a friendly smile but didn't speak. You motioned him to sit down and offered him a drink, which he declined by shaking his head. You felt a little awkward at his quietness and a little taken aback by his looks. You had to admit you were impressed by his appearance, and suddenly understood why your friends texted you the sweaty face and fire emojis, after you had told them about your new client a few days ago.

'So,' you said, trying to keep your cool, 'tell me a little about your physio history. Any previous injuries or reoccurring issues I need to know about?'

'Not really,' he said.

'Not really?'

Sihtric shrugged.

'You're a professional boxer,' you scoffed, 'I'm sure there are things I need to know.'

Sihtric shrugged again and looked down at his feet.

'Well, fine by me. I still get paid even if we just sit here in silence,' you said and crossed your arms, 'hiding your injuries from me will not benefit you. You will ruin yourself if you do.'

Sihtric clicked his tongue in annoyance and sighed. You watched him brush his bruised hand through his long hair while he clenched his jaw. He already irritated you, but you couldn't deny he was hot.

'My neck,' he finally said, 'I have a lot of neck pain.'

'Thank you for your cooperation,' you sneered, noticing a quick, slight smirk on his face. Taunting him is the way it seems.

'When does this pain occur? After a fight? Only after training?'

'Daily,' he scoffed.

'Daily?' you frowned, 'that shouldn't be happening with your line of work. Did your previous therapist know about this?'

'Yeah, I told him. Every fucking time I saw him,' Sihtric said quite heated.

'What did he do to treat it?'

'Fuck if I know, lady. Nothing apparently.'

'Okay,' you sighed, 'well, then I suggest we start with that problem,' you got up and beckoned him to stand up too, 'stand up straight.'

Sihtric listened, but you still had to slightly correct his posture. You placed your hands on his shoulders, pushing them a tad back, causing him to groan as it straightened his muscles further.

'Sorry,' you chuckled lightly.

'Sure, lady,' Sihtric sighed, and again you noticed a hint of his sly smile.

'Okay, I need you to keep your body still now. May I?' you asked and motioned you were to cup his cheeks.

Yeah,' Sihtric said, after which you gently took his face in your hands. 

'I am going to slowly tilt your head to the right, you keep still,' you acted on your words and you swore you saw his eyes darken as he kept his eyes locked on you. After 10 seconds you brought his face slowly back up again, knowing the feeling was probably unpleasant, but it had to happen.

'You're hurting me, lady,' Sihtric hissed. He placed his hands on your arms, almost making an attempt to pull your hands off him.

'If you do that again,' you said curtly, 'I will make sure you leave here with another bruised cheek. You will not interfere with my therapy and you will not lay another finger on me either.' You felt his jaw clench underneath your hands, and he oddly aroused you at this point. And to be honest, you could take your hands off his face now, but you wanted to make sure he knew you were not afraid of him and he would not intimidate you. So you actually took a step closer and got up in his face.

'You're a professional boxer, for god's sake,' you scoffed as he looked down at you, 'I'm sure you can handle a little physio from me. But if you don't want my help or if you will constantly bitch about it,' you pulled your hands off his face, 'then don't let the door hit you on the way out, Sihtric Kjartansson.'

'Hm,' Sihtric hummed, still staring down at you, breathing faster than before, confirming you did provoke something in him, and he suddenly leaned his forehead against yours. 

You knew this was some stupid intimidation tactic men liked to use, but frankly, you didn't care. If he would hurt you in any way, his career was instantly over, so you knew that would not happen and you felt rather unbothered. Until Sihtric suddenly put some pressure on you, forcing you to step backwards as he continued to lean his face against yours. He forced your back to collide with a wall while he kept using his tactic, and when he had you basically cornered, you were breathing just as fast as he was, and not out of fear.

'Hm,' Sihtric hummed again. You felt his breath on your face as you kept looking straight into his eyes. And after a few seconds he finally pulled away from you and took a few steps back, eyeing you up and down.

'I like you,' he said, his sly smile fully appearing now, 'I'll see you in a few days, lady.'

*********************

A couple of months had passed since your intake with Sihtric. You treated him at least twice a week, and you had grown to like him. He wasn't a rude person at all, he was just very serious about his career, and it turned out that his previous physiotherapist had nearly ruined that, which had caused him to be a bit hostile towards you at first. As you already expected, Sihtric never received the right treatment from his previous therapist, causing him to constantly be in pain and therefore risking his own health and his job. He only really warmed up to you after a few weeks, when he noticed the pain he experienced was getting less, even when training intensely. After that he opened up more to you and a bond was shaping fast when he randomly told you he feels quite lonely often. He said that being who he is, a successful boxer and quite a rich man, also meant that there were barely any people around him for the right reasons apart from his good friends. But you knew he was not talking about that kind of loneliness. You felt sad for him, as you learned he was genuinely a funny and sweet guy, who had an unfortunate past but managed to create a good life for himself. You liked his company and you admit, you also liked his flirting, so without thinking you invited him over for dinner later that week. He was a little surprised, but gladly accepted and gave you his private phone number. That same evening you started texting and it became a quick routine to text each other throughout the day whenever either one of you could. At first your texts were friendly and brief, but it only took a day or two before things got flirty and you'd often send each other risky pictures, just to tease the receiver.

********************

'So, you think you're ready?' you asked as you finished your dinner, looking at Sihtric who sat across from you.

'You're asking me if I'm ready?' Sihtric frowned playfully, 'I've trained for months. Of course I'm ready. I'm always ready to fight.'

'So who are you even fighting?'

'A guy called Sigtryggr,' Sihtric said and pulled out his phone to google him, 'good fighter, only seven loses out of thirtysix fights,' he said before he moved his chair next to yours to show you a picture of his future opponent, 'fifteen wins by knockout, eight by submission, the remaining by decision.'

'Oh, damn,' you said and quickly grinned, 'he's quite good looking. Can you get his number for me?'

Sihtric frowned at you and tilted his head slightly, 'have you forgotten that you belong to me?'

'Sure, in your dreams, Sihtric,' you laughed.

'Oh, I've had dreams,' he chuckled.

'Ew, what the hell,' you snorted and punched his chest. Sihtric grabbed your hand before you could pull back and he pulled you closer.

'You're really telling me you haven't had dreams about me?' he gave you a cocky look.

'What if I had?' you asked, returning the same look.

'I knew it,' he grinned and let go of your arm, 'I see the way you look at me during your sessions.' 

'Please, I am only making sure you keep the right posture,' you rolled your eyes.

'Oh, yeah, because you do that by looking at my ass.'

'I've never looked at- okay, maybe once.'

'Hey, it's fine,' Sihtric laughed, 'I look at your ass all the time.'

'My god, I think it's time for you to go home,' you chuckled.

'You want me to stay over, don't lie.'

'You're so full of yourself, it's unbelievable,' you laughed as you got up to bring the plates to the kitchen and Sihtric was quick to follow.

'Yeah, maybe,' you heard him chuckle behind you as he snuck his arm around your waist, 'but you could be full of me as well tonight,' he spoke softly in your ear.

Your knees weakened at his words and you accidentally dropped the plates with a loud bang into the sink.

'Sihtric,' you sighed, grabbing onto the kitchen counter to hold yourself up, 'don't tease with empty promises.'

'Empty promises?' he said, spinning you around to face him, and he lifted you up to sit on the counter, 'let me stay over and you'll see,' he teased as he wrapped your legs around his waist before he settled his hands on your hips.

'Sure,' you rolled your eyes and cupped his cheeks, 'we both know that fighters abstain from sex at least one week before the fight, and you have exactly one week to go today.'

Sihtric clicked his tongue, 'you just had to ruin it, lady,' he smiled and quickly pecked your lips before he let go of you, leaving you flustered and turned on in the kitchen, before he went home.

********************

Sihtric: Just reminding you that you could've had all this tonight. Sweet dreams ;) xx

You opened his text and saw he had sent you a shirtless photo. You giggled and bit down on your lip, hating how good looking he was and how you wish you could've had him tonight. But there was no way you would've let him into your bed, not before the fight, you weren't going to be his downfall.

You: keep it in your pants until after the fight, then we'll see if you got another round in you ;) Sihtric: another round. Ha ha, very funny, so original to say to a boxer, never heard that before… You: someone's a little frustrated he got rejected? :( Sihtric: I'll have my way with you next week, you just wait. You: yeah, if you don't get beat up too much. Sihtric: someone's a little worried about the man she rejected? :( You: ha-ha, very funny… of course I am worried. I don't want to see you get hurt. Sihtric: lady, have I got some news for you… Sihtric: fighting Sihtric: usually gets you hurt You: it's not funny, Siht. You: I've just seen some videos of that guy fighting and you said it yourself, he barely has any loses. His knockouts are brutal… and his submissions… Sihtric: wait Sihtric: you're serious? Sihtric: you're really worried about me? You: are you fucking kidding me? You: you know what You: it doesn't matter, okay, nevermind You: good night xx Sihtric: no, wait Sihtric: hey Sihtric: talk to me, baby Sihtric: don't be like this with me Sihtric: babe! You huffed and threw your head back onto your pillow after you had sent your good night text, not seeing any other message Sihtric had sent you after that. And suddenly your phone rang and you saw Sihtric was calling. A video call to make it worse.

'What?' you sighed when you answered, but upon seeing his shirtless torso you were kinda happy it was a video call.

'What is this? Sihtric frowned, slightly concerned.

'It's nothing.'

'Yes, it is. Are you okay?'

'I'm fine,' you shrugged.

'Baby,' Sihtric suddenly said sternly, which made your head spin, 'I don't want you to worry about me fighting. This is what I do, it's my job.'

'I know.'

'Trust me on this, okay? I will be fine.'

'I know,' you sighed.

'Then don't give me that attitude again, babe,' he said curtly and shook his head, 'I don't like that. I appreciate you caring about me and it's sweet that you're concerned, but don't get snappy with me about my work.'

'Then make sure you step out of that ring in one piece.'

'I will, lady, I'll still have to go for another round with you afterwards,' he smirked.

'Oh, shut up,' you laughed.

'There it is,' Sihtric smiled, 'that laugh is all I wanted to see. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you were upset.'

'Well, you can sleep peacefully now,' you mocked lightly.

'And I will. But it would've been even better if you were next to me.'

'Okay,' you shook your head, 'good night, Siht,' you smiled while your cheeks heated up, and you were glad your room was dark, so he couldn't really tell how flustered you were.

'Good night, baby,' he smiled, 'kiss?' he asked, to which you giggled and blew him a quick kiss.

'Thank you, baby,' Sihtric chuckled lightly, and before you hung up he blew you a kiss in return, and once you locked your phone again, you buried your face in your pillow as you were tormented by the butterflies in your stomach.

********************

During the days leading up to the fight you nearly lived at Sihtric's house. In addition to his preparation you did extra physio exercises with him twice a day. In the morning, before he went to train, and in the evening, after his last sparring session. And it was always a struggle. You wanted him and he clearly wanted you too, but it just couldn't happen yet. You said he should abstain from any form of physical contact with you, other than which was needed for the exercises, but he claimed there was nothing wrong with kissing. And there shouldn't be anything wrong with that, the problem was just that Sihtric couldn't keep it to a single kiss. He always wanted more and he knew how to persuade you into more kisses. And today you just had your last pre-fight session with him, as it was the day before the fight.

'You gotta stop this, Sihtric,' you chuckled as you sat on top of him.

'Why? You don't like it?' he grinned and brought his hands up to your waist.

'I didn't say that,' you hissed with a smile while taking his hands, and you quickly pinned them above his head.

'Oh, you're the one teasing now?' Sihtric bit down on his lip, 'I never told you how I like that.'

You rolled your eyes at him. If he wanted to be teased, you would give it to him. You slowly leaned into him, brushing your lips over his neck which made him almost growl as you firmly kept his hands pinned to the floor. You knew he could not use much strength on you now because he might injure himself, and that would be a disaster. You heard, and felt, he was enjoying this more than he's allowed right now. So you decided to rock your hips slowly against his as you softly kissed down his jaw to his neck.

'Lady,' Sihtric hissed lightly, but you only gave him a soft chuckle, letting him know you were enjoying yourself. And you continued your way to his neck, pulling the collar of his shirt down so you could kiss on to his shoulder and down to his collarbone. 

'Lady!' he hissed again, heated. 

You stopped and trailed your hands from his wrists to his biceps, over his still pinned down arms, enjoying the feeling of his flexed muscles now he's all tensed up. And you slowly trailed your hands back up again, intertwining your fingers with his before you softly peck the skin between his clavicles, causing him to let out a deep sigh.

'Relax, baby,' you hummed against his skin, 'it's only kisses'. 

You watched Sihtric rest his head back onto the floor, attempting to keep his self control and calm down. And just when you heard his shaky sigh, breathing out his built up tension, you chuckled lightly and dragged the tip of your tongue up his throat, over his fully exposed Adam's apple, up to his chin. And before you were even done you felt his entire body tensed up already.

'Fuck!' Sihtric groaned loud. 

He caught you by surprise when he bucked his hips up, forcing you to let go of his hands and sit up on his waist, where he quickly pulled you down to his chest and wrapped his arms around you. Then he smoothly moved his ankle under yours, pushing your leg to his left as he bucked his left hip up, tipping you over to his right while he held onto you. And before you realised what happened, Sihtric was on top of you, pinning your hands down above your head. You had no idea what just happened, except that you must've really riled him up, so you could only giggle.

'You think you're being funny, lady?' Sihtric said, amused, 'you wish to fight with me?'

'You cheater. That was not a boxer's move, was it?' you chuckled.

'Jiu-Jitsu, lady,' he said with a smug face, 'I can teach you a thing or two.'

'I bet you want to,' you grinned, 'but you forget that I already know a thing or two.' And you bucked your hips up slightly, making him groan when you rolled your hips against his, and you pinned his leg down with yours as you moved up to your side, trying to escape his mount position.

'And you seem to forget I'm much stronger than you,' Sihtric laughed, but his voice was raspy, telling you he was struggling to keep his self control. And as you had managed to fully turn to your side, Sihtric lifted his weight off you which caused you to roll over onto your stomach, facing the floor.

'Shit,' you chuckled, knowing he outsmarted you and had "won". You tried to lift yourself up but Sihtric placed one hand on your lower back, keeping you pressed down to the floor while he positioned himself back on top of you, and you felt his other hand slide up the back of your head, into your hair.

'Gods,' Sihtric hissed, moving his hand from your lower back to grab on to your waist, 'you know this is my favourite position?' he chuckled and tugged your hair lightly, 'Hm, I'd love to fuck you like this right now,' he teased and thrusted his hips lightly, making you feel how hard he was, 'wouldn't you love to be fucked like this right now, baby?'

'Fuck!' you hissed, 'Sihtric, no. I mean, yes! God, I want you like this right now.'

'Yeah?' he chuckled mischievously and tugged your hair again, 'you do, don't you?'

'I do, fuck, I do,' you whined, 'but babe, you can't, you know we can't. You're only torturing us both.'

Sihtric groaned while breathing heavily, and you knew he was considering his options. To give in to his needs, fucking you hard and good on the floor right now and claiming you as his woman, or to control himself and not jeopardize his chances of winning his upcoming fight.

'Sihtric, think about your career,' you said, resting your forehead on your arms, 'you will get your way with me after the fight, but you may not get another shot at the title if you lose this fight.'

'I know,' he said, sounding a little calmer than before, 'I just…,' he paused and got off you, allowing you to sit back up before he cupped your cheeks, 'I just want you as my woman, so bad, baby. I want you to be mine. I really do.'

'Sihtric,' you sighed, blushing as you pulled him closer, 'you don't need to have sex with me to make me your woman. I mean, god, what year is this?' you laughed.

*********************

It was Fight Night. You already planned on being present at the fight, so you could see first-hand what damage would be done to Sihtric and know what you'd have to deal with during your next session. But regardless of that, he had still formally invited you as his woman. You knocked on his door and his face lit up when he saw you. His coach, Uhtred, had just finished wrapping Sihtric's hands as you walked in, and Sihtric quietly ordered everyone to give him 5 minutes alone. As you waited for everyone to leave you gazed at Sihtric's appearance. His black boxing shorts showed off his muscular legs while he was already shirtless, repeatedly clenching his hands into fists, making sure his hand wraps tightened the right way, and you just loved the way his hair was braided. You had never seen him with braids before, and you hoped this wasn't the last time either.

'Here,' Sihtric said softly and beckoned you over, 'come here, baby.'

He wrapped his arms around your waist as he stayed seated and looked up at you before you cupped his cheeks.

'Are you ready?' you whispered.

'Battle ready, love,' Sihtric smiled, his voice soft and low.

'Just be careful out there,' you felt yourself become nervous as your thumb traced over an old scar that graced his cheek, 'don't get distracted. And, please, keep your hands up, honey, even when you're tired,' you said and kissed his forehead.

'I will,' he smiled.

'And fight calmly. Are you calm?'

'Battle calm,' he chuckled lightly, 'feeling much calmer knowing you're here. Kiss?' he asked.

'Only a kiss,' you smiled before you leaned in.

'Only a kiss,' he whispered against your lips before giving you a long, soft and sweet kiss. 

You melted into his kiss and for a moment you forgot he was about to either get beat up or beat someone up while getting paid about one million for it, win or lose. But if he won, you'd be the woman of the welterweight world champion. But you weren't thinking about all these things right now. Now you thought about how much you loved him.

'I like your hair,' you smiled after Sihtric broke the kiss, to prevent himself from going too far again.

'Thanks,' he chuckled, 'will you watch near the ring or are you staying here?'

'What do you prefer?'

'Having you there of course,' he said and closed his eyes as he rubbed his cheek against your palm.

'Then I'll be there.'

********************

Round 6. Or 7. Or maybe 5? You didn't know anymore as you desperately covered your ears while you hid your face in Finan's chest. Finan, you only met him an hour ago, but he was Sihtric's best friend and he pulled you in for a hug when he saw you weren't doing well. And he kind of needed that hug too, Finan wasn't doing well either. Sihtric would not last all 12 rounds, he was showing off too much, you knew it, Finan knew it, Uhtred knew it and his opponent, Sigtryggr, knew it. And Sigtryggr tried to understand why, until he noticed Sihtric had glanced towards the same group of people several times, and then he figured it had to be you. And he was a ruthless boxer, taking advantage of any weakness he could find, and now he knew you were Sihtric's weakness. And he waited for that one split second when Sihtric couldn't help but glance towards you again, checking if you were still there, and as he darted his eyes towards you, Sigtryggr threw an uppercut, knocking Sihtric off balance and making him dizzy for a moment. You had seen Sihtric stumble back while taking another jab to the face before he fell down, but he wasn't knocked out. And then a vicious game of simply throwing punches into each other's faces started. And you couldn't stand the sight of the blood anymore, not even being able to tell who was getting hurt more in the process. And it seemed to last forever until Finan suddenly grabbed your shoulders and shook you, yelling at you to look. And you opened your eyes just in time to see Sihtric, who was a bleeding mess, had gotten back up on his feet and had Sigtryggr stuck in a corner, relentlessly beating into him while the crowd roared until you saw Sihtric got dragged away by the referee. Then Sigtryggr collapsed to the floor and was quickly surrounded by medics and his own team.

And you didn't understand it at first, when you saw Sihtric shout at Uhtred. You thought Sihtric was angry and had done something wrong, causing him to be pulled away by the referee. But then you understood he was simply shouting 'I won!' over and over again before he reached his coach. He was a little closer to you now, but the loud crowd made it hard for you to hear him well. Sihtric shouted something at you, but you had no idea what. You did hear him shout, 'Get them off!', several times while Uhtred tried to take off his gloves as fast as he could. Sihtric kept looking impatiently back and forth between you and Uhtred, who struggled with Sihtric's gloves, causing Sihtric to shout, 'Get them off!', again. When Uhtred finally freed his hands, he immediately climbed out of the ring while taking out his mouthguard, which he flung away before he argued with a few security guards, who tried to stop him as he was hoarsely shouting, 'Get me my woman!' repeatedly. When the security didn't understand, he harshly pushed through them and sprinted the last few steps towards you while he kept ecstatically shouting, 'We won, baby!' until he finally reached you and picked you up in his arms, kissing you as if his life depended on it.

******************

After a whirlwind of emotions and hoards of interviewers, Sihtric finally managed to get you alone in his hotelroom. After he was given the world title and received that, quite shiny, champion belt, you found out in the dressing room that most blood on his face came from a busted eyebrow, which was already stitched up by now. Sihtric had pulled you down in bed with him, where you carefully kissed the bruises on his torso and those on his face.

'So, how about that other round?' you grinned to which Sihtric sighed with a smile.

'I'm almost afraid to say it,' Sihtric said, barely a voice left after all his shouting, he chuckled, 'but, forgive me, baby, I don't think I can do it tonight.'

'I thought so,' you smiled and pecked his lips, 'you need to rest, my love. It's already late too, I better get going. It'll take a while before I'll be home-'

'You're not leaving,' Sihtric interrupted you with a light chuckle, desperately trying to make his voice hearable, 'you're my woman. And now the fight's done, you can finally stay the night. Don't think I'll let you leave my side, lady, not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever again,' he smiled and kissed you softly, 'and I might just want that round in the morning.'

*******************

Sihtric had his eyes closed and bit down on his lip, humming with a smile as you were slowly jacking him off. 

It was early in the morning, you had slept in Sihtric's arms all night and things got a little heated when you both woke up and couldn't keep your hands off each other. You weren't sure if he could handle you right now, still recovering from the fight, so you started off slow, seeing where it would lead. Sihtric's voice was still raspy and almost gone, which you thought made him sound really attractive, and that didn't make your desire for him any less.

As you worked your hand on his cock you slowly moved up on top of him, and he didn't stop you, he just let his head fall back into the soft pillow and parted his smiling lips as his breathing became heavier.

'Good?' you whispered in his ear when you leaned in.

'Mhm,' he hummed, 'yeah.'

'Do you want more?'

'Mhm.'

'Tell me? How far can I go without hurting you now?'

'Baby,' he spoke hoarsely and softly, 'just do whatever you like with me, I'm all yours.'

You smiled at his response and softly bit his ear. You kissed his cut lips gently while you pulled down your own panties. Having a world champion boxer at your mercy had you soaking wet almost instantly, and you couldn't wait to finally have him inside you.

'Been quite a struggle to get to this moment,' you chuckled, teasing yourself, and Sihtric, by sliding your wet pussy over the tip of his hard cock.

'No more teasing,' Sihtric sighed, 'please, lady, I want to be inside you already.'

'Hmm,' you smiled and you slowly entered his tip, rocking your hips back and forth, not taking in more than just that.

'You've been teasing me for a while, it's only fair if I do the same,' you purred.

'Ah, fuck,' he moaned with a satisfied smile, 'you're only doing this because I can barely move my body today.'

'I won't deny that,' you chuckled and lowered yourself onto him, taking in his full length slowly, 'ah, hm,' you smiled, 'fuck, you're so big, babe, and so fucking thick, feeling really good inside me right now.'

Sihtric couldn't bring out anything and you enjoyed watching him struggle to compose himself, not being able to move properly due to his bruises and simply knowing he had teased you for weeks, and now you might get your revenge. And you would. You knew he liked it rough, so you would take it slow, taking your time, enjoying every inch of his pulsing cock inside you. You intertwined your fingers with his, knowing that if you were to place your hands onto his body, he would most likely be in pain. Which made it all the more torturous for Sihtric, who was dying to touch you and feel your hands all over his body.

'Ahh,' you sighed, riding him ever so slowly, 'oh, babe, I could fuck you for hours like this, hm,' you looked down at him and smiled with half open eyes. And you saw how his eyes had darkened as he watched you with his lips parted, moaning softly while he was desperate to flip you over, but he couldn't.

'I'll get you back for this, hm,' he moaned, 'oh, gods, you feel so tight. I want to slam into you so hard, you have no idea.'

'Yeah?' you teased, keeping your pace slow, 'you want to fuck me hard?'

'Yeah,' Sihtric hissed.

'You'd like to ravage my tight pussy, baby?'

'Fuck,' he groaned, 'yes!'

'Hm,' you chuckled, stroking your thumbs over his hands, 'I can't wait for you to flip me over, face down again, and fuck me the way you like it.'

'Please, please,' Sihtric begged.

'Please?'

'Please, my love, please,' he hissed, 'I fucking beg you to give me a little more.'

'No,' you chuckled, 'I like this. I like to see you struggle, I like to feel you twitch inside me, desperately wanting to fuck me senseless.'

'Ah, fuck,' he moaned, 'fuck, please. Please, lady, you're going to make me pass the fuck out like this,' he chuckled.

'You'll get your way with me,' you hushed him, 'like I have my way with you now. My man,' you sighed, slowly picking up your pace, 'my world champion,' you giggled, 'if only everyone knew how weak you are now for me, Sihtric Kjartansson.'

Sihtric groaned and kept throwing his head back into the pillow while he squeezed your hands, 'Come on, faster, baby. Fuck me, fuck me good.'

'Like this?' you whispered, going just a tad faster again, 'you like that?'

'Yeah, yeah, like that, keep going, ah,' he grunted, 'keep going for me, baby.'

'I might come soon,' you chuckled, 'you hit all the right spots with that massive cock.'

'Oh, fuck,' he laughed, 'yeah? Am I good for you? Am I treating you well?'

'Yeah, so well,' you sighed, 'I hope you recover fast from your fight.'

'Hm, why?'

'Cause I want this cock in me every fucking day,' and you hated how you lost your self control, but you had to have him. You needed to feel him fill you up, now. You were desperate for his warm cum inside you.

'Ah,' Sihtric hissed, 'I love how you tighten it all up, baby, you're going to milk me dry like that.'

'Yeah? You're going to give it to me?' you bounced rapidly up and down his twitching cock, knowing he could spill inside you any second.

'Fuck me a little harder, pretty baby, please,' he tried bucking his hips up lightly, and you groaned when you felt his hips move into yours.

'Cum for me, Sihtric, cum in me, fill me up. I've waited so long,' you almost cried out, 'come on!'

'I will fill you up, I'll give you every fucking drop I got,' he moaned, 'I'm so close, keep going, ah.'

And when he knew he was close, you pulled away from him. Sihtric nearly panicked at the loss and his eyes were wide in confusion.

'Don't bitch about it,' you teased, 'you can handle a little physio from me,' and you turned away from him to lay down on your stomach.

Sihtric groaned lightly out of pain, and frustration, as he quickly moved up to you. He placed one knee on either side of you, keeping your legs close together, and he moaned deeply when he brought his cock back inside you. You felt his hands grab onto your hips, pulling you slightly up so it would deepen his thrusts.

'Hm,' he chuckled as he started to slam into you, 'you were relentless with me from the start.'

'Oh, fuck!' you screamed when he thrusted into you, he felt even bigger in this position.

'Yeah, now I have my way with you, huh?' he quickened his pace, knowing he had to ravage you quick before he would soon finish, 'don't bitch about it,' he laughed softly

'Ah, Sihtric!' you chuckled, loving the way he felt, 'I'm so close!'

'Cum on my cock, baby, only then I'll fill you up with my cum.'

And he kept his promise, you came with a violent scream, probably waking up the entire hotel at 7 in the morning, but you didn't care. You were satisfied, in bed, wrapped in a blanket as Sihtric held you in his arms while you still felt his cum dripping out of you. And you hoped he could go for another round later the day, when he had his physio exercises.

[kentocidal]

i fucking hate you (but i love you)

alhaitham x afab!reader

tws: dubcon, afab reader, hatefucking, semi-public (they’re in the akademiya), porn with plot, alhaitham has questionable motives but like barely so do with this warning what you will, pulling out

words: ~3.9k

a/n: i did his story quest and then i was possessed. lol um anyway. reblogs >>> likes.

it was your fault for choosing the elective course with the smallest number of registered students. no, seriously, it had to have been your fault. only you of all people would have made such an idiotic mistake. you knew something was up when you had enrolled and saw the suspiciously low number, but hey, it was just an easy elective from haravatat, what could go wrong?

everything. the answer had been everything.

“you have it wrong again.”

those words had become ingrained into your brain, etched into your bloodstream and made you boil over. you had failed almost every test, every assignment, absolutely butchering every field task you were given for this class about linguistics for a language you had been studying for years, and instead of just dropping the class and choosing another elective, you chose to take on a tutor, also from your class at the time, and he had been your worst nightmare.

alhaitham. a star haravatat student destined for greatness. someone you should have been looking up to, someone that honestly should have helped more. but, alas, alhaitham (in your opinion) was stuck too far up his own ass to help with your grades, or with your comprehension of anything having to do with the material you were struggling with.

“this is an easy concept. i really do not need to explain it to you.”

“you- you’re literally being paid to explain it to me. explain it.”

“no.”

“you do realize you’re supposed to be tutoring me?”

“yes, i do. i have explained this concept three times by now. at this point, it is simply your own fault for not comprehending it- you are definitely wrong again there, too.”

alhaitham did not help your grades. alhaitham did not help you. he did not find the idea of helping someone other than himself interesting, not in the slightest, but yet he still showed up to your twice-a-week tutoring sessions to piss you the fuck off.

twice a week you would be given long paragraphs to read over and translate, or images of runes to decipher and translate again. and alhaitham would sit next to you, his nose in a book, barely answering your questions with more than ten words at maximum. or, worse, he would stand almost over you, his presence just over your shoulder and over your back, watching the way your ink pencil scribbled mindlessly over the images or the texts to try and make sense of them. he would click his tongue in those moments, shifting his weight behind you, and the hairs on your neck would always stand on end.

alhaitham was really only there because he was forced to, and so were you, but in the short month and a half that you were with him twice a week, you found yourself absolutely loathing your fellow student.

you passed the class by a hair’s breadth, marring your educational reputation within the akademiya for good. and it was mostly your fault for believing that the elective course would be easy for you, but something inside of you had snapped. you did not like alhaitham.

you grunted as you carried the hefty file down the long, winding hallway, clutching it close to your chest and gritting your teeth.

it had been a long time since that elective course, and every time you heard of alhaitham’s academic achievements afterward sent some foreign emotion through your body. while he continued to succeed and grow, you had to rebuild your reputation from the ground up. while he became a scribe, a hero, you were stuck in the shadows, working in the background for your previous master in spantamad. your name was listed almost last on all of his papers, as if he was ashamed of the fact that you were there. you felt as though your accomplishments were not your own, and you were promptly of the opinion that someone other than yourself needed to be blamed for your unfortunate misgivings.

alhaitham was that person. which was why this task of yours was so bothersome.

not only were you lugging worthless documents halfway across sumeru city to the akademiya main offices to drop them off for filing, you had to hand them to alhaitham. the same guy who you felt had a hand in ruining you.

you gritted your teeth harder together as you made your way up the stairs towards the scribe’s private offices.

you felt like he had been a constant presence in your life ever since that semester with him. alhaitham was consistently in the background, enshrouding your consciousness with his overbearing presence. you wanted to walk through sumeru city to clear your head from studying? he was there, sitting in the back of puspa cafe with some physics book in hand. you wanted to go out towards apam woods to get some data on ley lines for your research and your thesis? he was there too, studying some old decrepit domain and sketching the symbols on the arches. and he would always glance over, as if to say, see, i’m better than you. you’re not worthy of your lowly position beneath me.

part of you wanted to seriously scream at him. give him a piece of your mind. but maybe that’s what he really wanted from you, or maybe he really just didn’t care. not at all.

you stopped outside the door to the scribe’s office, glaring hard at the lacquered nameplate that had been made for him. ‘scribe alhaitham.’ what a fucking joke.

you shifted the heavy folder to one arm and turned the knob, pushing the door all the way open. the scribe was often never in the place anyone needed him to be, so you had been instructed to just leave the file on his desk with a note from your master that simply explained where it was from, and to please file accordingly, thank you very much.

unfortunately, though, you weren’t allowed to have good luck. not when it came to alhaitham.

you stared bug-eyed at the gray-haired man sitting behind a desk that had never been so neat in the length of time that you had been dropping files off to him. it seemed that the scribe had actually chosen to report to work during business hours, for the first time in his adult working life, and looking at him straight on made your stomach flip.

also, you hadn’t knocked. so you were just barging in on the scribe while he was probably doing something of some importance to warrant his appearance in the akademiya.

you wanted to be sick. you couldn’t.

“excuse me?” alhaitham stared at you, a look of mild surprise overshadowed by annoyance. “can i… help you with something? you look lost.”

you stared at him for another moment, feeling like a fish out of water what with the way your jaw opened and closed. it had been a considerable amount of time since you had seen him up close.

“i’m- here to drop these off.”

“okay.” he jutted his chin towards his desk, and you remembered that yeah, you should probably put them down and leave.

just put them down and leave. your feet moved, and your arms moved to shift the weight of the file folder, and your hands definitely moved to grab it and set it down properly in front of him, but your head? your head was spinning, what was this? loathing? rage? jealousy?

“next time, you really should knock. i was in the middle of something.”

his voice cut like a knife, and your lips were moving before you could wrap your head around your thoughts.

“oh, i’m so sorry, scribe alhaitham. or should i still call you the grand sage? i don’t know what to call you these days, since you’re never around to do your job.”

you hesitated for a second after the words left your mouth, and then you took a step back to look at him, eyes wide.

alhaitham was a rather stoic man. his facial expression almost never changed from that of mild boredom and dissatisfaction with the world around him. he was the type of man to sit and stew about everything all of the time. it seemed, to many, like he had no true emotions at all.

this time, though, when you looked at him after insulting him to his face, he looked… he looked almost shocked, bewildered would be a better word for it. somewhere in those oranged-tinged irises, though, laid a deeply seated heat that could only be attributed to anger.

you had gotten a rise out of him.

“i’m sorry?” his voice was steady, but from where he was sitting in his chair, he looked stiff.

you swallowed. you would be fired. at least you could go out in a blaze of glory.

“you heard me.” your voice was shaking, and you forced air back into your lungs as you did your best to find the best vocabulary to use on him. he was intelligent, after all; he’d be able to understand. “it isn’t my fault for just walking in here. i mean, you’re never around when you’re supposed to be. isn’t it the job of the scribe to, you know, take notes of the goings-on in meetings and within the akademiya? you would think that after your disgustingly high pay raise from playing grand sage simulator for a month, you would find it in you to stop being so self-serving and actually do some of us a favor by doing your job. we’ve all gotten accustomed to you not being around when you need to be because you’re always off doing some fuckery or some independent research, so excuse me for deciding to skip the formality that i don’t believe you truly deserve.”

you had to force air back into your lungs. you had shifted forward a bit, hands on his desk, towering over him like you had some sort of power in this dynamic, when it was entirely the opposite.

alhaitham’s brows were knitted together, an annoying crease making itself known above the bump in his nose. you took another breath as he sat back, smoothed out the front of his shirt.

“are you still hung up on our class together?”

you felt like the wind had been knocked out of you. “what?”

“you cannot blame me for your lack of educational prowess in a subject that is far out of your field.” alhaitham hummed as he pushed his chair back, got to his feet, reminded you of his station above you both physically and mentally. “i tried to tutor you, but nothing i did for you ever worked. that is simply not my fault.”

“you-” you stood up, trying to meet his height. “you asshole. you didn’t try at all. all you did was intimidate me- this has nothing to do with the past!” you snarled at him, all bark and really no bite, “i have tried my best to recover from the hell that you put me through. while you were handed everything on a silver spoon, i had to claw my way into a job-”

“don’t try and speak on subjects you don’t have any true knowledge of, it’s unbecoming.” he squinted at you, hands relaxed at his sides while yours were fists.

alhaitham was a menace. you hated him. he had everything you had ever wanted – a cushy job within the akademiya, status, worthy research tagged to his name, and you had failed one class in his field and failed. it had shifted your world, your future, and he remembered it.

“you make me sick.” you hissed at him, and he barely shrugged as he stepped around the wooden desk between you to your side.

“i can’t say the feeling is mutual, because it certainly isn’t. i almost want to pity you.”

he was tall. you felt like heat was radiating off of him as you took a step back and away from him, just one. you glared up at him, something in your abdomen shifting, like when you would drink too much water at one time. maybe you were going to be sick because of him.

it was stifling in the small office as you glared at each other. the proximity between you and the scribe was small to begin with, but it felt like it became ever smaller now that alhaitham was on the same side of the desk as you.

alhaitham sighed. “you are just as pathetic now as you were then in my class. it’s unfortunate that you barely passed, there’s potential in you.” the feeble scholar stepped into your personal space, crowding you against the bookcase behind you. “i’ve seen your previous work, your research. i am the scribe, after all. i do in fact do my job, and do it well. if you had been just a bit more open to learning from me, perhaps you would have my position instead.”

something inside your chest lurched as you stared up at him, your anger and hatred pulling back like waves receding from the shoreline, leaving something in its wake.

the tide shifted. a storm was brewing.

it was hot in the office. far too quiet. no one ever really came up to the scribe’s office, let alone his floor; he was never there, there was barely a need.

the tension in the room crackled. alhaitham had always been there, working in the background, tugging your eyes away from your work or your life to command your attention to him.

the first crack of lightning spidered across an ever-darkening sky.

you weren’t sure who had moved first, whether it had been your hands to his collar or his hands to your face, but suddenly he was on you, his mouth on yours, bruising and forcing you to simply open up to him. and you were kissing him back, fingers curled into the collar of his shirt, crumpling it beneath your nails and tugging him forward to feel the weight of his broad chest pressed against yours.

his tongue bullied its way into your mouth, fighting with yours to occupy the most space; alhaitham always took up the most space in a room and this was no exception. his hands, calloused from his sword usage and so hot, brought your face closer to his and tipped your head back to really stand over you. you felt him against your thigh through his pants, hard and twitching, and part of you wondered how long he had been hard for. did he get off on getting told he was shit at his job? at being degraded?

did he get worked up because it was you?

his hands slid their way down from your face, over your chest and to your sides to pull you flush to him. some worthless sound bubbled up in your throat, making you feel small and meek against his broad chest.

he started to move, and you went with him, biting at his lips and making him hiss and bite you right back.

he brought you over to the front of his desk again, barely pulling away and licking the saliva that clung between you two away to push you back until you were just barely sitting on the top of his desk. he seemed to have a motive, calculated ministrations planned three moves ahead at all times.

you felt like a pawn in his chess game, and you let him take your queen.

his rough hands gripped at your sides and pushed their way towards the buckle on your pants, and you put your hands on his desk to lift yourself up, sliding on the papers you had brought and scattering some to the ground.

“you messed it up,” he huffed at you, his turquoise eyes completely hooded and darkened to some deep, foreign color.

“fuck you.”

“i will.” he grunted as he pulled your uniform pants down and off, dropping them to the floor and shoving his way right back between your thighs.

you panted, having barely a moment of reprieve as he removed his hands from your body to start tugging at his belt buckle. somewhere in your hazy mind, you asked yourself what you were doing, but the question disappeared when his lips crashed into yours again, making your teeth bump into his and making you whine.

it was like he needed to remind you that he was in charge here. he was ahead of you in everything, always coming out on top, even now.

you groaned into his mouth when you heard his belt buckle finally clink open, and the shuffling of fabric. he didn’t push his pants or boxers down, not yet anyway; he pulled away from your kiss finally and put a hand on the back of your head, guiding your forehead to his shoulder to make you watch as his fingers moved your panties to the side to reveal your sticky cunt to the both of you. you bit your lip to fight back a whine, his fingers threading through your hair as the middle finger on his other hand swiped slowly through your folds, making you jolt. he was silent as his rough finger traced over your hard clit before slipping back down and slowly, slowly sinking into your fluttering hole.

you moaned, mouth dropping open as knuckle by knuckle your enemy’s thick finger pushed into you, you wanted to drop your head back, arch up into him, but the hand in your hair held you steady and firm, acting like an anchor while the storm crashed in your ocean.

he pumped his finger in and out of you, experimentally, testing the waters, stretching you. it wasn’t for your pleasure, despite how he curled in you; he was prepping you proper, stretching you open.

one finger turned to two, and your moans got higher at the stretch, turning to whines as your thighs tried to press together but couldn’t because of his hips being in the way. he kept you spread open, barely having a foothold on the desk, gripping at his shirt. he had you at his mercy as he scissored his fingers inside you to prep you, soaking his hand with your juices, shushing you gently and making sure you were ready to take his cock.

you cried out when two fingers turned to three, scissoring and stretching you farther than your own fingers had allowed. your head was buzzing and part of you recognized that you were allowing this to occur on an akademiya desk in an akademiya building, but fuck it. damn it all to hell, even.

his fingers slowly pulled out of you and you whined at the loss, but his opposite hand pulled your head up by your hair to get you sitting up straight. both of his hands moved to finally, finally free his cock from its constraints, and it jumped up towards his stomach, hard and leaking.

you bit your lip. what had you gotten yourself into?

neither of you said a word as he pulled your panties to the side again, harder this time, and pressed the hot tip of his cock to your wet clit. the slide made you both groan, your eyes rolling back while his nose scrunched up slightly.

alhaitham gritted his teeth as he guided the head of his cock through your sticky folds, catching on your entrance and making you whimper. it was only a matter of time until he was pushing into you, guiding himself all the way, sinking deep into your wet heat and carving himself a home there.

your jaw went slack and your hands braced themselves on the desk, crumpling your papers, but you couldn’t find it in you to care.

your eyes finally caught alhaitham’s when you felt his hands under your knees, pulling them up to hook in the slots of his elbows. you squirmed. you were completely open, stretched and full, being forced to be split apart on his cock.

he stared at your face as he pulled his hips back, and then slammed home, and got a sick pleasure out of watching all of the air leave your lungs.

he set a brutal pace, grunting and watching your pussy closely as you started to wail into the confines of his office, head either thrown back or staring down at the milky white ring you were leaving at the base of his cock. it bullied into you, and you swore you could feel his tip kissing your cervix when he shifted angles.

finally, the prodigal scribe spoke, shifting and leaning more into you to bite at your neck. “fuck…” he groaned against your ear, and you felt like you had ascended.

the tidal wave building within you finally started to come to a crescendo, and your body started to go taut, squirming under him, clawing at his back. “a-a- ‘haitham, i-“

“i know. i can feel you.” he practically growled against your ear, and the bass was like thunder, making you cry out and start to really come on his cock, the pap, pap, pap of his hips meeting yours getting louder as you gushed around him and gripped him like a vice.

he huffed against your skin and made sure you were properly coming down from your high before pulling out at the absolute last minute to shoot white ropes over your pussy, making a further mess of you.

you both stayed there for a second, panting against each other’s skin. your hands slowly dropped from his back, and he placed one of your legs down carefully, and then the other, as if he were some kind of gentleman. that kindness was kind of wiped away by the way he assessed the mess of your pussy, hummed, and moved your panties back to their rightful spot, keeping his cum there. he patted your pussy over your panties, making you jump and whimper.

“this should keep you relaxed now, shouldn’t it? you are always so upset. hopefully this will keep you at bay for some time for me to continue my work.” alhaitham took a small step back to tuck himself away and fix his pants, cleaning himself up while you sat there on his desk, ever so slow to catch up to his speed.

you couldn’t say anything before he was helping you back into your uniform. your head was clouded and foggy as he looked you over, holding your chin between his wet fingers and assessing your face.

“you have potential. i can assure you of that. do not underestimate your intelligence or your strengths.” he pressed an almost chaste kiss to your lips. “go, your other master is most likely wondering where you’ve gone. do not make him think you are skipping out on your assignments.”

confused and muddled, you left the office and shut the door behind you.

your anger surged, but it was but a small wave against the much larger ship that was now going to become a problem: you liked him.

[thefavchilde]

GENERAL RELATIONSHIP HCS: TIGHNARI !

Just because I felt like it. And to feed the simps. Which does not include myself. Not at all. Stfu.

•If you’re a similar height or taller, he’s a clothes stealer. This is not restricted to just hoodies. He takes to any of your shirts. Especially crop tops if that’s your thing. Catch him in like a racer back crop top or something. He might even end up buying one for himself. Only the one though, or he’d be out of excuses to take yours.

•If your hair is long enough, PLEASE let him braid flowers into it. In fact, you don’t have a choice. It’s already in motion. And you cannot put it out of motion. He’s no braiding professional, but the flowers look oh so pretty. <333

•He’s not familiar when you first start dating- it’s not something he’s done before- but once he sees you doing it, he starts to really love painting his nails. Or, one better, you painting them. They chip easily because he’s constantly out in the wild, but he appreciates it nevertheless, especially if you’re understanding and patient enough to keep constantly reapplying it for him.

•He subconsciously leans into physical affection. He won’t go out of his way to initiate it, but if you’re the loving type he finds himself struggling to not admit to himself how much he adores it. It’s almost like a 6th sense after a while. Just instinct.

•Speaking of, it’s like he can always feel when you’re nearby. So in other words, good luck ever trying to scare or prank him. It won’t phase him in the slightest. You’re just setting yourself up for him to get you back later.

•If you’re holding hands, it’s ALWAYS the way that your fingers are intertwined. He’s got quite a tight grip without realising it. He cares about you a lot, and that’s just a subtle way he shows it. If you’re somewhere with potential to be unsafe, this is more evident. The last thing he wants is for you to be hurt.

•Alas, though, it’s inevitably going to happen at some point. He’ll take great care in patching you up and caring for your wounds, and will keep checking in once in a while and ask you to rate the pain out of ten in the days that follow. Asks you to let him know if it ever gets worse. He’s very naturally well prepared mentally, and so he always knows what to do.

•If you’re panicking over something, he’s good at calming you down, whichever way you may prefer him to do it. He picks up on it very quickly.

•He also picks up on when you’re tired a lot. Is immediately onto you about your sleep schedule and how you should go and rest as soon as possible. If you get stubborn with him you’ll very promptly find yourself being practically pulled into his arms and down onto the nearest couch or bed. This mf WILL make you sleep, you can count on that. Don’t even try that shit with him, you’ll get nowhere.

•Take an interest in his hobbies! He’s very happy to do the same for you, as he knows how appreciated it makes him feel to be listened to. He’ll remember all of the tiny details about you for a long time to come.

•You make him feel more at ease in crowded spaces. If he’s overwhelmed, sometimes all it takes is just for him to look over at you and remind himself you’re with him. It’s super sweet, actually.

[panicroomsammy]

Sam Winchester, queer coding, and CSA themes

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time but what finally got me to write it down was this post about Sam and queer coding. For this reason (and that this got ridiculously long) I will not be restating all of the points made in that post, though I do agree with them.

I think the reason so many people refuse to see that Sam is queer coded is that he is queer coded in unpalatable ways, including being csa coded. I am only on season seven, but I am going to try and break down some of the ways that he has been queer coded so far. I must begin by explaining what I mean by queer coding and what coding is in general. When I say the word “queer” I do not necessarily mean “gay” or “bisexual” or any other lgbt label. I mean outside the norm. This is because “queer coding” is not so much about purposefully portraying a character as a certain sexuality, but about othering that character from those around them. Sam is clearly an othered character. We will start, as all things in Supernatural do, with Azazel.

When Azazel makes his deal with Mary that ultimately results in the othering of Sam via his psychic powers, the deals are csa coded in a variety of ways. The most obvious is that he possesses Mary’s father’s corpse to kiss her and make the deal. Hunting families are already incest coded in that it is a secret and something that children raised in it are taught no one outside of their family will understand, and in this case hunting is something Mary is trying very hard to escape. Her love for John (who is also her means of escape) seems to be a love for his “innocence” in the way that he does not know of the supernatural. She tells Dean that what she fears more than anything is her own children being raised into hunting. This is a very typical incestuous family melodrama plot (that I could cite in many academic articles but alas this is a tumblr post). Besides the explicitly incestuous kiss and the familiar plot, there is also the way that Azazel obscures what exactly he is asking for in the deals. When he makes the deal with Mary, he has taken both the familiarity of her family and her route of escape from her. He then offers the escape back to her, in exchange for something. He never tells her what this “something” is. This is a more insidious piece of csa coding. Mary lacks the knowledge necessary to consent to the deal - the same way that a child lacks the knowledge necessary to meaningfully consent to sex. All demon deals in the show are sa coded in that they are extortive and about owning someone and depriving them of autonomy, but in this particular case Mary not knowing what she is consenting to is highlighted. He also phrases is as “permission” (to do what he’s going to do to baby Sam), similar to language of asking for consent and implying that whatever he does that she does not understand she will have allowed so she cannot take issue with it later.

Fast forward ten years. Azazel comes to collect on his deal. Two significant things happen - he feeds baby Sam his blood and he is caught in the act by Mary. Let’s focus first on the latter. Azazel kills Mary because she walked in on him with Sam. The way he talks about this in the show has a stomach turning amount of innuendo to it. Specifically, he says she had to die because “she walked in on us” to Sam. The use of “us” is very clearly supposed to invoke an abuser’s attempt to convince a victim that they did in fact have agency in the situation and were just as active a participant as the abuser, though the audience knows this cannot be the case as Sam was an infant.

When Azazel feeds Sam his blood this is without consent which already gives it a csa implication. The way that he made the deal with Mary in the first place does the same. Then there is the way that Sam feels dirty because of the demon blood in him. “Something that I could not control happened to me as a child and now I feel dirty forever” is glaringly a metaphor for csa. The way that Sam says “so he could bleed in my mouth” made me pause the episode and sit there for a moment because of how much it sounded like a euphemism.

Then Sam becomes addicted to demon blood. The parallels would almost make me laugh if they didn’t make me nauseous. Ruby forces herself on Sam sexually before she starts feeding him her blood, and then later it seems that their routine is feeding Sam the blood and then having sex. This creates an association between demon blood and sex. There is also a more sinister undertone to it if you read with this in mind. Sam’s desire for demon blood invokes, for me at least, queer desire. Unlike what some people on tumblr would like to believe, sexual desire isn’t something that people only start feeling when they turn 18. It isn’t even something that we only start feeling when we reach puberty. Everyone has a human body that is capable of feeling arousal from the moment they are born. This is a simple fact of life, but it is one everyone likes to ignore. With this in mind we can understand the quote “within childhood sexual trauma, the experience of violation may be viewed in the moment as uncontrollably stimulating and overwhelmingly arousing” from this post. When someone experiences violation as a child, they may at the time feel pleasure in it or desire for it to happen again. What I am saying is that his whole life after Azazel fed him his blood maybe Sam, for all his fight against being a freak, deep down felt some kind of desire for something even without knowing quite what. And then Ruby gave it to him. This is an unacceptable desire and therefore coded as queer (sexual) desire. But as it is not just queer desire but one associated with both childhood and non consent, which makes it unpalatable to many people who may otherwise enjoy reading for queerness in subtext, therefore the queerness here is missed.

Sam’s fight against being a freak is also part of his queer coding. Some may see this and take it at face value, but truly what queer person can honestly say they have never tried to fit into heteronormative society? When one is constantly told by society that they are wrong, they will try to change to fit - even if just out of a desire for safety. Sam trying and failing at normality (including the ideal heterosexual romantic relationship which is taken from him with Jess’s death in the first episode) is a glaring example of queer coding.

Yet another aspect of Sam’s sexuality that I believe leads to his queer coding being ignored is that the vast majority of sexual situations we see him in are non consensual and he makes it explicitly clear that he wishes not to be in those situations. The first time we see him in such a situation is the pilot where the woman in white forces herself on him and tells him that he will be unfaithful to Jess. At the time this felt pretty extreme to me for putting in the first episode, even for trying to establish that a character highly values their morality. From there they just don’t stop putting Sam in these situations. The next time this happens is with Meg touching Sam sexually while she has him and Dean tied up with no motivation other than that she wants to. She later possesses him, which is used throughout the show as a sexual assault allegory. The next time I remember something like this happening is Becky groping Sam and refusing to stop when he asks her in season four. Later in season seven she roofies him with love potion and kidnaps him. When Sam and Dean investigate the mental hospital in season five, one of the patients grabs both Dean and Sam and makes out with them at different times. While Dean goes with it and does not resist, Sam tries to push the girl away. While neither of these situations had consent, it is much easier for the audience to swallow Dean’s reaction than Sam’s, as Dean’s reaction plays into the notion that men cannot be sexually assaulted because they should always want to have sex with women, while Sam’s forces one to confront that men are capable of not consenting. In the very next episode a high school boy uses a spell to swap his and Sam’s bodies. While in Sam’s body the boy has sex with a woman. Throughout much of season six I would argue something similar occurs. While I’m a bit fuzzy in the metaphysics of what exactly is happening here, Sam is functionally anywhere from two to three people over the course of the season. Despite the fact that they are all technically Sam, I would argue (as a system myself) that any one person within a system using the body to do things that the others would stop them from doing given the chance is non consent. We also know that soulless!Sam slept around with a lot of people during that year and a half. Again, as a system, I would say that is noncon. There is also the fact that during all of this Sam-in-hell (soul!Sam?) was being tortured and more than implied to be raped by Lucifer. All of this makes Sam and sexuality a much less palatable thing to focus on than Dean and sexuality. (Though Dean has his fair share of sa coding as well he covers it up with jokes that make it easier to ignore. But that’s another post.)

The bottom line is that Sam’s demon blood addiction is coded as queer in that it is a desire that is taboo, but it is a bit too taboo for most fans to enjoy or even acknowledge, leading them to voice outright denial of it, with the unpalatable themes of rape surrounding Sam and sexuality adding to the lack of desire to discuss this aspect of the character.

[nonpanary]

As someone who has had Avatar hyper fixations for well over a decade- my review on the first live action episode (no spoilers)

Overall I would say 7/10! Visually VERY nice to look at (except for one scene that comes to mind)

Background scenes and extras and character designs are all a solid 10/10 for me

The only thing is that they have taken out a couple of my favourite scenes* (will add in the "read more" in case this counts as a spoiler) and taken a lot of character (aangs playfulness and kataras anger- both super important to their growths but VERY much toned down)

Anyway- basically visually and narratively it's good but unfortunately some of the Avatar Charm is gone and important character traits have been diluted. Overall I recommend!

*the scenes that they missed out that I REALLY liked that they missed, plus one scene they replaced with that I didn't like-

1. Katara didn't break the iceberg. This ties into my opinion that Katara's rage is a HUGE part of her character and these scene shows how much rage and potential she has as a waterbender and how emotions are tied into bending.

2. Also at the iceberg, Aang didn't do that thing where he sneezed and flew ten feet in the air. Personally I just love the scene and also shows his carefree nature and Sokka's reaction of "um?? What???" and aang brushes it off bc of course he would, he doesn't know airbending is unheard of.

3. No penguin sledding!!! Honestly one of the best intros of Aang is just how dismissive he is of Katara and Sokka trying to be serious and find out what's happening because he's just a kid and WOW he wants to do all this fun stuff (that Katara hasn't even heard of because who has time for penguin sledding in an active war)

4. The scene where Aang is on the fire nation ship and there are a line of guards and he manoeuvres around them by running on the walls/ceiling. One of my absolute favourite scenes and also shows his preposition to defensive airbending and fun nature. (also no zuko + mattress scene but alas)

5. Aang didn't enter the Avatar state when escaping the fire nation ship. Such a pity because it's great and shows his powefulness and adeptness to bend all elements when in the Avatar state.

6. ^in addition to this scene, katara bends a HUGE water spout, WAY more powerful than she should be able to at this point??? This kinda pissed me off because skill growth is another thing ATLA was great at portraying alongside character growth.

7. Last one and this one I'm less upset about but when Aang finds Monk Gyatso and goes into the Avatar state, Katara doesn't rush in and calm him down. This was great in the original for multiple reasons but otherwise this scene was OK

Thanks for reading this bonus bit! Feel free to talk to me about avatar now and always xoxo

[robynlilyblack]

Bookshop Girl

Chapter 8: Detention

Remus lupin x fem! hufflepuff! reader

Summary: After an uneventful rest of her week, y/n, Alex and Amos serve their Saturday detention, yet y/n is still determind to see at least one of the boys today ...about the project of course...no other reason...

Warnings: swearing, mentions of food, eating, sex, hints of past wolfstar and all things that come with lycanthropy, fluffy chapter, Alex and Amos being Alex and Amos, Remus Lupins bare chest, Minnie being her iconic self, Peter being an adorable human being

A/n: 10.4k words, very long time since I updated this series but hopefully t'll live up to the previous chapters, this is also the longest one yet so get comfy and enjoy xx

Navigation | Remus Lupin Masterlist | Previous Part

You stared dolefully at the fat lady's portrait. Rocking on the balls of your feet as you tried to gather the courage to ask the next passing Gryffindor if Remus or Sirius was in there. Waiting, you took a quick glanced at one of the nearby paintings which conveniently displayed a clock ticking in real time

08:21…22

You had less than half an hour until detention started, though realistically you only had ten since you would need to take the long way due to someone’s breakfast not sitting quite right. You didn’t really like Filch, but if it was that bad he had to close the entire corridor? Yeah, you definitely pitied him a fair bit in that moment

Looking up you notice the portrait shutting behind a boy you don’t recognise. You wait for him to come down the stairs before attempting to ask him…attempting being the main word

“Hi, can you help…” you start but it’s more of a whisper causing you to shrink into yourself as the boy clearly doesn’t hear you nor even registers your existence “…me” you finish a little sadly to yourself as you hopelessly watch him walk off down the corridor

You would love to say that was your first attempt at gaining someone’s attention but alas that was simply not true. Lily Evans had passed you by mere minutes ago, and after a meek ‘hi’ which she miraculously heard, Marlene McKinnon showed up, winked at you, called you sweetheart and you shied away so much you almost fell down the stairs. Something you were sure the girl was more than flattered by but didn’t help you in your goal of talking to one of the boys, and was also why you were now standing at the bottom of the stairs 

Chewing on your lip your eyes flicked to the time again 

08:26…27

“Crap” you mutter lowly, dejected that you weren’t going to see either of them at this rate

It was strange, you had seen and spoken to them every day this week yet the thought of not seeing them at all today made your heart hurt unimaginably. The last two days had been a little less eventful, and by less eventful you made lots of progress on the project but none with Remus. 

While Sirius though took every opportunity during your sessions to flirt, Remus hardly ever, if he did at all and you were way too shy to initiate. You chalked it up to him being shy in light of Sirius’ abundant flirting yet you still couldn’t help but fear the worst.

Peter!

You spot the boy approaching down the corridor, arms filled with a bunch of blankets…of vastly varying sizes? Weird. Though Peter was wonderfully so. 

Stepping to the side so he could hopefully spot you in his peripherals, you fix your hair and cardigan quickly, in case somehow somewhere, Remus suddenly appeared to help the boy 

“Hi” you greet when he gets close enough

He looks a little startled, although the word ‘caught’ comes to mind as his eyes grow wide and nerves take over for the seconds it takes him to realise it was only you. Luckily none of blankets fall in his shock, and his anxious look melts into a kind smile

“Hi y/n” he welcomes, shoulders relaxed once more and you feel yourself doing the same “What brings you here?” He asks, head tilting with a gentle insinuation you hear it loud and clear, which you become a little bashful under

“Well…” you take a breath “…I have detention this morning…” Peter’s smile widens at that, recalling the great hall incident “…I actually need to be there soon…actually now” you let out a nervous chuckle “Anyway. I was wondering if I could talk to Remus at some point today?”

The moment you say ‘Remus’ Peter freezes a little, his face flashing with something you can’t quite discern. Concern and worry? Yes. But it soon fades into intrigue

“Or Sirius” you add, feeling heat creeping up your neck, more so as his intrigue grows

Peter wears a slightly charmed expression as he attempts to adjust his grip on the blankets, one however falls off the top in the process, landing between you both. His nose crunches, clearly trying to figure out how he was going to pick it up, but his worry fades as you bend down instantly and pick it up for him.

You fiddle with the supple plushie material, recognising them as the famously soft blankets from Slytherin, however these were now blue instead of green…although you had a funny feeling they would soon be red 

“Cosy right?” your attention is pulled back to the boy who wears a glee filled smile

“Yeah” you nod, thumbs rubbing into the fabric and watching the wave of shine “Where did you get these?” you ask even though you already know

Peter looks around, checking no one was about “Promise you won’t tell?” he shuffles a little closer to you

“Your secrets safe with me” you assure him

He smiles “Me and James had a good feeling about you” he notes earning a shy giggle from yourself, joy filling your heart at the approval from your crushes friend, even if you had barely had a conversation with one, and this being your first with the other

Peter notices your reaction, now he knows his feeling was right

“I stole them from Ravenclaw tower…although technically they were Slytherins and the Ravenclaw stole them” he chuckles and you join him, whilst also being rather impressed that Ravenclaw managed to pull off the same heist you, Alex and Amos did a few years back “And now I’ve stolen them” he says blushing a little, yet there is a sense of pride about him

Peter had always seemed, on the outside at least, like the puppy of the group, although you would later find this to be a rather ironic statement. He was the one who followed the others about, did as he was told and was always just…there. Yet seeing him now, you didn’t see a minion or a follower, you saw someone who was just as smart as the other three. Someone that used his mischief and talents for his own quests, but unlike his counterparts he embarked on cute quests for blankets instead of waging war on those with green ties

“Wow, that’s amazing” you say, a large smile on your face which he copies, a look of gratitude painting it as well

“Thanks” he nods “Say what you want about Slytherins but they have the best blankets” 

You giggle, bobbing your head “I can see” you agree, placing the smaller one back on his pile carefully “Say, can I ask you something?” 

“Anything” he shrugs happily

“Why do you need the different sizes, some of them are rather…small?” you inquire, referring to the one you had picked up

The question had been on your mind the moment you saw them. The larger ones you knew could cover a double sized bed, those were the ones you stole. But the smaller ones? They were for first years and could barely wrap around your shoulders, in fact they were often used for those with pets that weren’t owls

“Oh” he looks away, trying to form an answer or some kind of reasonable explanation “Well, my weight…fluctuates” he explains with a cringe “Plus me and the boys can used them for our pets” he adds for extra measure although even the boy knows it’s not the best lie

You know for the first time he isn’t being entirely truthful yet you don’t find it in you to mind, it didn’t seem like a bad secret, and, if anything, you got the sense it wasn’t his he was keeping

“Cool” you smile and he relaxes even if he has a small incline you don’t fully ‘buy’ it, he’s still grateful you don’t push the subject “So. About your friends?” You circle back, knowing you were going to be late now but you didn’t want to be ridiculously so

“Butterscotch” he tells you, to which earns him a confused head tilt “That’s the password” he expands and your mouth forms on ‘o’ “I’d take you in myself but…” he glances at the paintings clock “…I don’t think you have the time. Besides I’m only here to drop these off then I’m going to help James with recon”

“Recon?” you eye him amused

“On Lily…” he sees your face “…I promise it’s not as weird or stalker-y…okay maybe a little bit starker-esk…but it isn’t as bad as you think. I just don’t think either of us have the time for me to explain why it’s not…bad…or creepy” he says a little rushed looking down at the end as his cheeks grow red, like he knows he slipped up and now must hope you don’t think him nor his friend a weirdo

“I believe you”

His head shoots up “Thank you” he says, a smile gracing his face, the kind of smile that tells you he doesn’t hear that enough

“So Butterscotch will get me into the common room?” you double check

“Yes” he nods quickly “For this month at least. I can give you the next one when we get it” he offers and you can’t help but find him sweet

“Thank you Peter or should I say…wormtail?” You try it out, knowing you made the right call when his eyes light up

“You can call me Wormy” he smiles, gifting you the nickname Lily and Marlene calls him, solidifying that you were not only trusted but now a friend in his eyes

“Wormy. Got it” you nod, smiling away

Peter looks up towards the portrait then back to you “We should get going. It was really nice to officially meet you though” 

“Likewise” you nod “Bye wormy” you begin to walk away, looking back and waving

“Bye y/n” he does the same

You pressed your hand to the wall, panting as you caught your breath. After a few deep breaths you compose and push yourself off of the wall. Opening the door to the classroom, you find Alex and Amos at opposite ends of the room, paper in front of them with an empty place in the centre for yourself

“Miss y/l/n” the professor greets as you gently shut the door behind you “Just in time. Take a seat dear” 

You return the smile she gives you and sit down. As you do your eyes flick to Alex, who waves happily at you like he didn’t see you less than an hour ago for a quick breakfast. You giggle quietly at him, waving back before you turn to Amos. It’s harder to hold your giggles this time as he looks one second away from head planting the desk

“Now everyone is here…oh y/n dear can I get your wand before I forget” she moves towards your desk

You nod, hand dipping into your cardigan's inner pocket, well a small stitch you added to most of your wear as it proved useful and was rather cool, like the wizard version of a holster as Alex would describe it, hence you, he and Amos all had them. Grasping your wand, you hand it over, pointed side facing yourself. She smiles, accepting it and walking over to her desk, placing it in one of the drawers before locking it

“So” she clasps her hands together “I have some errands to run and since you didn’t do anything exceptionally wrong, your punishment is to sit here the whole day bored while the sun is out” she says, to which you all smile, no cleaning jars or rearranging books for you today “Now I’m going to lock the door while I’m away, if there is an emergency…” she points towards the window “…please hang as safely as you can out of that window and call on Madam Hooch, she shall be out there all morning”

You all giggle at that one, even she seems to be holding her own as well. It was funny, much like the marauders McGonagall was soft with a few other students outside Gryffindor, your little trio being one such group

“Do we get lunch?” Amos squints at the professor, of course he only has energy to think about his stomach

She gives him a charmed look “I’m a professor not a monster Mr Diggory of course you will all have half an hour for lunch…not enough time to run to Hogsmeade…unless you know a passage of course” she gives you a wink before walking towards the door “Any other questions?” you all shake your heads “Good good. I’ll see you lot in a couple of hours”

With a small smile she leaves, closing the door while you, Alex and Amos turn towards it, waiting for the small click signifying the door is locked before you sigh, relaxing in your seats

Alex drums on his desk “What we gonna do then?” he says way too excited for 8:45 on Saturday morning

“Sleep” Amos grumbles, chair screeching as he puts his satchel on the desk, opening it and bring out three pillows and three blankets

“Amos did you seriously bring an extendable bag to detention?” you cross yours arms, false annoyance on your face

“And not tell us!” Alex mimics your movements “Not cool man”

“Not cool at all” you say with a small laugh 

Amos just stares at the two of you “Girls it’s before 9am on a weekend day…a weekday end…fuck it a Saturday” he finally gets there “I need my beauty sleep” he points at you both “You can call me uncool or silly all you want…or whatever muggle-y phrases y’all got going…”

“Dunderhead”

“Bampot”

“…” Amos blinks a few times “Was that even English?” he whispers to himself before shaking his head and continuing “Anyway if I had told you” he points at Alex “You would have brought something that would have us dangling out that window and you…” he points at you “…well you’re a sweetheart that would have brought goodies but you were off with your boyfriends” throws his hands in the air

“They aren’t my boyfriends!” you whine, feeling your face get hot

“Are a bit though” Alex has to agree, leaning backwards on the table, hands clutching the sides looking amused to the point you want the table to slide and him to fall “Study dates in the library…meeting them early on the weekends…coming to us for gossips sessions about them…them giving you pet names”

“Love, darling, puppy” Amos mocks as he pushes two desks together in order to make himself a bed

Your face heats faster to the point your whole body feels hot “It’s not like that” you press your lips together, shaking your head so much you’re like a broken bobblehead

“Then explain to us what it’s like” Alex shrugs

“Yes…” Amos hops on the desk, fluffing his pillow “…explain” he gestures his hands like a plater

You and Alex share a look

“Don’t judge me like you two aren’t thinking I’m a genius” he gestures to the cosy blanket “Now explain doll” he says getting himself comfy, laying down on the table like he’s some kind of goddess

“There’s nothing to explain, I’ve hardly had alone time with either since the library incident” you shrug, heart a little heavy yet there is a flutter as you remember the cupboard

“All right, you can keep your secret for the present” Alex says with a smirk

“Yes, I think we will move on now” you giggle at him, moving over to Amos’ satchel to grab a pillow and blanket for yourself “You’re such a Pippin” you state as he joins your side

Alex chuckles “That make you Merry then?” he asks, grabbing his own before copying Amos and pushing desks together

“Nope” you pop the ‘p’ “I’m more of a Sam, without him they never would have made it and without me, you two would probably have gotten yourselves expelled by now” you say earning a ‘true’ from Alex as he pats his pillow

Amos’ upper face scrunches “Pippin…Merry…Sam?” he looks completely lost

You grin, glancing at Amos “If I’m Sam and your Pippin that makes Amos…” you extend the syllables “Should we be sweet or mean?”

“You know where I stand sunshine” he winks while Amos just watches a little scared 

“I’m feeling nice. Hi Merry” you wave sweetly at your friend

Alex scoffs “You’ve clearly never seen him with those little wizard cards of his…my precious” he mocks, making his fingers crawl and his eyes wide

“That’s disturbing” Amos notes sitting up, a look of disgust on his face before he looks at you “I will admit I’ve said that but I don’t look like that…also” he holds up a finger “What exactly are we talking about? I know it’s a muggle thing but is it like muggle lore or one of those fancy dancy films of yours like wars of the stars”

“One it’s star wars and two, I wish it was a movie…aww sunshine imagine if they made a movie…” his hands go out in front of him gasping “or movies!” Alex’s exclaims positively beaming

You join him in his excitement, smiling widely as you clear some things from the window sill and lay the blanket over it so you had a soft seat “That would be so cool, they definitely have the tech of it now” you perch yourself on your own bed turning back to Amos “Oh sorry Ams, we’re talking about a book. Lord of the Rings specifically but some of the characters including the creepy one is in the Hobbit as well”

“He’s not creepy, he’s just…misunderstood” Alex defends as he climbs up on the desk

“Weirdly accurate” you giggle quietly, seeing his point

“A book…how long?” Amos asks interested “A-actually, what is it about before I commit?” he eyes the two of you

“Long” you nod, nose scrunching as you remember the length “Both are trilogies but really are just one big story. Anyway, they follow these halflings, more commonly known as Hobbits. The Hobbit follows Bilbo Baggins and the Lord of the rings follows Frodo Baggins, although there are accounts from different people the two books are meant to be written by them. They both go on epic adventures, but you should lord of the rings first even though it takes place after Bilbo’s journey and is technically the sequel, there’s just a lot more background lore it in…right Alex? Been a year since I read it all the way through” 

“Yeah read that first because you’ll know more about the creepy one when we give you the hobbit and everything makes a little more sense” he agrees “Plus Lord of the rings is fucking brilliant” he nods, smiling like a big kid 

“I’m assuming you both have a copy here?” Amos looks between the two of you

“Yeah I’ll give you mine later tonight if you want? Then we can watch you lose Lord of the rings virginity together” Alex says with a grin

“Eww. Alex!” you whine 

“Mate, I love you but why’d you have to say it like that” Amos joins you, looking at your friend in a light disgust “Weirdo” 

“Seconded” you nod

“Thrid-ed but still it’s magic, like actual magic, you’ll love it” Alex strangely agrees before assuring his friend

“He’s right, complete idiot, but he’s right” you lightly tease earning a small ‘hey’ from Alex

“Okay, now that’s settled and although I have something to ask you to do later, Amos needs his beauty sleep before Minerva comes back” Amos says to which you and Alex hold up your hands 

Alex proceeds to lay down, facing upwards on his makeshift bed while you swivel your legs to sit on the window, back against the wall but it’s softened by the pillow. Leaning your head against the glass you stare out aimlessly, eyes flicking from the mountains to the forest to the lake, eventually making their way down to the pitch outside. 

You held back giggles as you watched training, there was a bunch of first years who failed their tests trying again but they weren’t the cause of your laughter. No, it was a girl, you didn’t know her name but you knew she loved pink, in fact she was adorned in it now shouting a bunch of weird rules that were over a hundred years old at the professor. You had to commend Madame Hooch for her patience, you weren’t a violent person but you sure would have shouted or…maybe accidently released a bludger in the girls’ direction by now

“Minerva sounds funny” you let out a giggle at Alex, commenting on Amos’ use of the name more than ten minutes later “Like Minnie better…Minerva sounds way too formal…oh what about Minnie bo’ binnie that’s…”

“Alex go to sleep or I will throw you out the window” 

“Be back by one!” you hear McGonnell call out as you exit and you all send a series of ‘okays’ her way before the door closes

“What’s the plan?” Alex asks after you take a few paces down the corridor

“I need to go visit Rem…a-and Sirius about the project” you clarify as smirks appear on their faces

Amos nods, taking off his bag “You take this then” he holds it out but Alex grips his wrist

“What? Why does she get it?” he complains, huffing like a little kid

“She has a name” you say teasingly

“Sorry” he kisses your forehead “Why does sunshine get it?” he corrects before looking at you “…better?”

“Much”

“Because” Amos tugs his arm out of Alex’s grip “She…sorry…doll over here won’t convince me to bring a bunch of useless stuff that will get us caught, I mean if it wasn’t for her we would have been found snoozing”

“He’s right. I’m surprised she didn’t hear your snores echoing throughout the castle” you say, accepting the bag and placing it over your shoulder, hugging the strap as you listen to them bicker

“I’m not that loud” Alex maintains

“And I have great self-control” Amos bites back, voice laced with sarcasm

“I swear you two are like an old married couple” you shake your head, giggles escaping your lips at Amos’ gasp

“You’ll find Amos’ taste runs more towards the blonde end of the spectrum” Alex ruffles his friends’ hair, earning nudge and slap to his hand

“Fuck off, at least I have a type, yours is like spinning the wheel of mystery” Amos taunts

“I like diversity” Alex shrugs

“And I’m going to go” You bow out, stepping back from them and beginning to walk away

“Oh, bye doll” 

“Bye sunshine” 

“Bye chaotic husbands” you wave behind you, giggling to yourself as you hear Alex and Amos continuing to bicker, not about being husbands but, about who would be the better one

You quickly made your way to Gryffindor tower, slowing down as you reached the portrait of the fat lady, she eyes you for a second before speaking “You aren’t one of mine…pretty though” she comments and you look down shying away

“Butterscotch” you say timidly, biting your lip as you peer up at her

She tilts her head, gaze on you unrelenting “What was that dearie?”

“B-butterscotch?” you almost ask, nervous Peter got the password wrong or maybe they changed it…or…

“Who told you the password?” she questions

“Am I allowed in?” you avoid it, you weren’t going to tell on Peter, not when he’d been so sweet to you

“Yes” she smiles, her firm expression softening in an instant

“Wait…what?” you look at her in complete confusion “You’re letting me in?”

“Yes, only because you didn’t blab on your source. If you had I would have made you watch me practice then fall asleep without ever letting you in” she says simply before opening the portrait “Have fun dearie” she shouts as you climb through and you smile, even the portrait was a true Gryffindor

Walking into the common room you couldn’t help but notice how different it was to Hufflepuff. Your entrance was hidden, in fact ironically dingy compared to the interior while Gryffindor’s was rather grand only to lead into a quaint, yet cosy room

“Oh hello!” 

You jump at the sound, head whipping over to see Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans by the fire, various makeup and beauty products surrounding them

You give them a bashful look “Hi” 

Lily smiles, green eyes illuminated by the fire, it was no wonder James fell for her she really was something “Y/n right?” she asks sweetly

You nod, stepping towards them 

Marlene smirks, hair held up by what looks like chopsticks as she looks you up and down “So you’re the one that’s captured our boy’s attention” she wiggles her eyebrows

Lily nudges her “Don’t mind Marls, she’s just jealous they got to you first” 

You let out a nervous giggle “Do you know where Remus is?” you wonder, seeing a flash of something in their eyes, the same thing you saw in Peters 

“He’s in his dorm I think, Sirius might be there too or he’s off with Peter and Jami….P-potter…” she corrects before sighing “…doing merlin knows what” her cheeks begin to tint “We’re hiding from them in here. Ironically this is the last place they’ll look” she confesses

You nod, sharing a small look with Marlene at the girls slip up. You would never tell anyone but your friends as the saga of James and Lily was like a real life tv drama and you were all shipping Jilly till the end

“Thank you” you look around the room “How do I get there? This place is so different to mine”

“Up those stairs, along and then down…I know makes no sense but we Gryffindor’s we aren’t meant to be” Marlene grins

“What are the differences between ours and yours?” Lily wonders, blowing on her freshly painted nails

“Mine has lots of plants, and ironically light for being underground. It’s kinda like being in a tree trunk? I don’t know if that makes any sense” your close your eyes, feeling a tad embarrassed for no real reason other than talking to strangers

“That sounds cute. You’ll have to sneak us in sometime sweetheart” Marlene throws a wink your way

Your eyes widen, pressing your lips together and glad there’s no stairs this time

“She’s kidding” Lily assures you “Unless you want to do so of course” she adds and you laugh, the playfulness in her tone surprising you but it’s a welcome one, perhaps her and James aren’t so different

You look towards the dorm stairs “It’s been nice chatting but I need to go back to detention soon so…” you gesture, pointing awkwardly

Lily nods while Marlene rummages to pick up a few products before standing up and walking over to you

“What are you doing?” you mumble as she holds up the what you think are the bottles lip gloss to your lips

She just smiles, finally choosing one “Part your lips for me sweetheart” she asks and you find yourself doing as she says, letting her swipe the gloss over your bottom lip “Do this” she pops her lips

You do it, rubbing your lips together gently 

“Perfect now on your way sweetheart” she winks

You feel your face heat as you nod and turn away, quickly heading up the stairs and leaving the two girls somewhat amused

“She’s utterly adorable” Marlene notes sitting back down

Lily hums “She is…you clock she asked for…” she starts, beginning to paint her toenails 

“Remus?” Marlene finishes and Lily nods “Yeah I noticed that too…oh and you remember Remus saying she was pretty in charms the other day?” Lily hums in agreement about to say something when Marlene spots someone “Oi Peter!” she shouts scaring the living daylights out of the poor boy

“Merlin Marls don’t do that!” he clutches his chest, breathing heavy

Lily stands helping the boy over to sit with them “You okay Wormy?” she asks softly, rubbing his back to help calm him

He nods “Yeah I’m doing alright now” he eyes Marlene who shrugs innocently before blowing him a kiss “Did you need me for something?” he looks between the two

The girls grin

You walk along the hall, reading the names on each of the doors “Longbottom, Jordon and…I can’t even read that one” you mumble to yourself continuing on to the next door “Brown…Vane…nope” you sigh walking up to the final door, hoping that this is them or you’re in the wrong place “The marauders stay out or risk our wrath” you read, giggling at the sign especially with the ‘just kidding’ written below it followed by a messy ‘or are we?’

Knocking on the door you could hear the sound of running water, and you felt yourself grow a little hot at the thought of Remus in the shower. You knock again, but this time hear a muffled ‘come in’ and you slowly open the door, wincing at the creak caused from how tentatively you were opening it

“Wormtail did you get the…y/n!” Remus’ eyes widen the moment he spots you and your eyes copy at the sight of him shirtless in bed

Turning around quickly you hit your elbow off of the door “I’m…oww…I’m so sorry!” you cringe, panting from your shock and embarrassment…as well as trying to get the pretty sight of his bare chest out of your mind

Remus on the other hand was dead still, looking down at his chest then to you and closing his eyes. He hated his body, if people though his face was scarred and ugly, his chest was much worse, covered in old gashes, scratches and of course the peaking of his original bite marks by his upper hip which he was thankful for his book covering

“It-it’s o-okay” he stutters out placing the book on his nightstand, still processing the why and how you got here “Let me grab a…” he withholds a groan, the aches in his bones from the impending moon not doing him any favours as he leans over his bed to pick up his jumper from the chair

You hear his quiet whines of pain though “A-are you okay?” you ask, not daring to turn around in case he wasn’t just shirtless but completely nude under those covers

“Yes…ahh” he whines, breaths staggering as he feels a sharp pang up his arms and chest

You turn around at that, rushing over to him “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” you kneel down beside the bed, hands finding one of his

Remus’ eye flutter at the contact while his free hand moves to pull the sheets up and cover his bite marks “Yeah, just not having a good day” he admits

You nod, looking at the chair “Were you trying to reach this?” one of your hands leave his to grip the material

He nods timidly and you catch his nervous flicks down do his chest. You don’t say anything, not wishing to draw attention to something he was clearly insecure about, even if you found it rather beautiful in its own way 

You hand him the jumper “Thank you” he removes his hands from yours, wincing as he tries to put it on

“Let me” you move up to perch yourself on the edge of his bed “Hands up if you can” you say sweetly with a smile Remus could watch forever

He raises his arms as high as he can, allowing you to slip the jumper on smoothly and much softer than he could himself. He found he loved the slight babying of your actions, the singular attention, the lack of judgement on features he deemed flawless, the dare he say love in your actions, and the blissful feeling of your knuckles running down his sides as you pulled down the jumper’s hem 

Yet he can’t stop himself from apologising 

“Sorry”  

“Why?” you ask so innocently he could cry on the spot

Although he adored the assistance, adored you, he couldn’t help but remember that if you chose him you very well may be caring for him the rest of your life 

“Inconvenience” he whispers, not bothering to mask his vulnerability as he pulls at the end of his sleeves

You take his hands again, unsure of what you were doing or if this was a cross in some boundary, only thing you knew was your heart told you this was the right thing to do

“Don’t say that. You never need to apologise for being unwell” you tell him, wearing that smile again

Unwell

You just assumed it was chronic, that this was just a bad day and that he wasn’t really a monster. A monster that wouldn’t care if he loved you and kill you just the same. A monster who lay in the bed ill while an innocent puff of a red riding hood looked after him…the big bad wolf

“Rem” you squeeze his rougher hand with yours while the other cups his cheek 

For once he was thankful for his heighten scenes as he could hear the sweet rhythm of your heart, the electric touch of skin of his and your scent which was near intoxicating, like a drug specifically made to comfort him.

His nerves begin to dissipate and instead he savours each second of your touch, your presence, your scent…

“Yeah?” he whispers, eyes flicking across your face, resisting the urge of your lips, so shiny and alluring, and instead lets his heart ache at how much care is in your soft gaze

“You spaced out” you inform him with a smile on your face, silently thanking Marlene in the back of your mind

“Oh” he chuckles, head subconsciously tilting into your hand briefly before his eyebrow furrow “Why are you here?” he asks softly but your hand still slips from his cheek, coldness spreading across it at the loss of contact but little did he know your fingers felt the same 

“I came earlier before detention…but it took a while to find someone and I was going to be a little late so Peter gave me the password” your eyes drift down to the blanket covering him on the way “I see the…” you make bunny ears “…’borrowed’ blankets are being put to good use” you note, smiling at the red fuzzy material

When Remus first watched your gaze fall he panicked, self-conscious that you would ask about his scars but then he chuckled, realising of course you, beautiful, big hearted you wouldn’t do such a thing, nor be so intrusive. His heart warmed at the playfulness in your voice, as well as the fact Peter must trust you if he confessed what he was really up to this morning

“You ever had borrowed blankets?” he wonders yet your little smile already tells him the answer “You stole blankets?” he asks, adoring your bashful look at the softest accusation known to wizard

You nod and he smiles, the pain of the moon still there yet was duller in your presence, as you distracted him from it and made him feel normal, just like a certain deer, rat and dog did 

“I’d love to say it was Alex and Amos’ idea” you confess and his smile turns prideful

“You what to know something?” you nod “Remember last year when all those bully’s hair turned pink?”

“That was your idea?” your eyes widen in the best way, the practically shine

“Prongs…sorry James, and Sirius wanted to make them bald but I thought that was a bit far” he tells you with a small wink

“There hair is still pinkish” you giggle

“Better than bald…besides pinks pretty” he defends his actions softly

“Pretty in pink” he chuckles “You know they bullied me and Alex too so technically you’re my hero”

Now his eyes widen “Should have gone with bald then” he jokes yet hopes you hear the underlying, I’ll be your hero anytime my love

Your giggles warm his heart and your hand hold his a little tighter, merlin he could swear you’ve also shuffled closer on the bed

As the laughs die down you smile sadly “I can’t stay long” you inform him, blues evident in your voice and Remus’ heart flutters and aches at that, gloomy you’re leaving yet glad you’ll miss him 

“You never did tell me why you dropped by? Like my company that much puppy?” he asks coyly, a smirk appearing as he can hear your heart stutter like your breath at the petname

“Maybe” you whisper so quietly it’s almost a thought, of course unbeknownst to you he hears it and has to hold in the biggest smile “I…came to ask if you and Sirius got the yarn…and if I could maybe grab it?” 

His eyes widen, nodding right away but as he tries to get up he groans, pink spreading across his cheeks and feeling embarrassed he can’t even get up properly with the pre-moon ache in his bones

“Hey” your hand slips from his and you gently push him back down by the shoulders “Tell me where it is and I’ll get it”  

Your touch and voice are as kind as you, so kind he settles just a little “It’s in the top drawer of that cabinet over there” he points, cheek now more of a light red

You smile, moving off the bed and walking over while Remus watches fondly, finally getting a look at your outfit, and how cute you look it in, almost certain it’s the same cardigan from your first meeting. 

You gently pull the drawer open, eyes searching inside before you pull out a bunch of rusty red yarn, your eyes linger in the drawer though, hand reaching in once more and pulling out some yellow, almost muster coloured yarn

“Could you not decide?” you jest just a little, heart fluttering at the thought of them buying your house colour

The knuckle of his finger comes up to wipe his cheek, almost to try and wipe away the blush before it settles below his ear “We drew up a concept in red but then we saw the yellow…and thought of you” he admits, sending your heart into overdrive

Remus can not only hear it too but see your appreciative smile, fingers fiddling with the yellow, eyes fixated on it with a hinting of an idea in them when you turn back to him

“Can I take both?” you ask 

Again, he nods right away “Of course”

You smile brightly, moving back around to your previous position and taking a seat “It’s pretty” you tell him, meeting his eyes

“It is” he replies looking right at you

Your breath hitches, eyes flicking down and around, feeling a little silly such a simple thing made you flustered while Remus reveals in it

“I’m going to start working on it tonight” you start and he feels himself freeze, hoping you aren’t going to ask him to join, his heart couldn’t bear to tell you no, nor see your disappointment “I was going to ask you to work on it after detention but I think Amos has this thing planned” he relaxes, thank you Amos “You okay?”

His eyes widen, realising his sigh of relief was a little too loud “Yeah, just achy” he gestures to his arms

Your hands act before your brain can think, sliding up the sleeve if his jumper and softly rubbing his skin. Remus’ stares at you in a happy shock until you freeze, mouth like a fish opening and closing

“Sorry” you pull your hands away, but Remus grabs them

“Sorry” he lets go this time, cringing just like you and he closes his eyes, feeling embarrassed before he hears it

A giggle

Not one of mocking but more of you laughing at how equally awkward and shy you are, and when he opens his eyes he starts chuckling too. Laughing with you came so naturally, so much when his hand brushes with yours a little he takes it, interlinking them with no hesitation

His fingers fiddle with yours as the laughter dies down “Rem?” you gain his attention

“Yeah love?” the name slips out easily and the smile you wear after is his world

“Is there anything that does help the aching?” you wonder, a little crinkle between your eyebrows

He thinks for a moment, feeling a little sick about the idea of lying completely so he tells you the truth with one minorly big detail left out “There are charms for it, they soothe the pain but I don’t have the strength to continually cast them and potions are…a little expensive” he admits, the last part lower

You nod “Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to work on charming the yarn tomorrow, I wish I had time right now but maybe you could teach me some of them?” you ask

His heart warms, so much he almost feels breathless “Yeah, need to be in the afternoon or evening” he tells you, hoping to merlin the moon will be kind and he’ll be okay

“Of course, I’m going to Hogsmeade tomorrow morning with my friends…and merlin knows what Alex and Amos have planned for me once I get…” you head turns towards the clock, your smile dropping to a sad one as you turn back

“You need to go” he says with a similar expression

“Yeah…” you nod yet your hand lingers in his “…you mentioned earlier you made a concept?”

He nods, never letting go of your hand as he leans forward to grab it from the little pile of papers nested on his bed beside him

“Here” he hands it to you and you notice the red paint on his hand “I’m sorry about the scribbles Sirius and I worked on its last thing in class yesterday” he explains 

“You can tell Sirius hi from me too” you giggle reading the note

“Will do” he nods with a chuckle “We would have shown you but I wanted to colour it first” he adds, cheeks tinting ever so slightly

“It’s pretty” you say looking right at him, just like he did earlier before looking down at the parchement “It’s very well done” your fingers glaze over it

Remus wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss you, grab your face and kiss you…maybe even more than kiss you…but could you blame him? Your slightly parted lips holding the smallest quirk of a smile, they were a little chapped from when he would see you chewing on them in concentration, yet they shined, and he knew they would feel so soft if he could just reach out and run his rougher fingers along them…press his lips to yours.

“Rem?” you tilt your head but he continues to stare into nowhere although nowhere looked awfully like your lips “Rem?” you prompt 

Your hand moves to cup his and the moment your skin meet his you’ve brought him back to reality “Sorry” he shakes his head, cheeks tinting quickly like he was caught in the act and he was…he so was “Getting a little spacy. Must be tired” he waves it off, hoping you understand

And you do “I’ll leave you to sleep then” you give his hand a squeeze before you let go and stand up

His heart aches at your leaving but he knows you have to…yet, you aren’t leaving?

His breath hitches as your lips meet his forehead, a tender hand placed in the back on his head for a mere moment before it’s all gone

“Take care of yourself” you tell him before turning, but he clocks your bashful expression before you almost rush towards the door with the yarn and paper

“Bye love” he manages to get out, it’s short, brief and breathless and he’s scared you don’t clock it as the door begins to close

But the door stops at just a crack “Bye Rem” your voice similar, slipping through softly like a wisp in the wind then the door clicks closed

The moment it does Remus wears the giddiest, biggest smile, flopping back on the bed and letting his head hit the pillow. His fingers coming up and grazing the skin. It felt like his first kiss all over again and yet you had only kissed his forehead, he could only imagine what it feels like to really kiss you. His head fell to the side, not clocking the shower stopping as he grasps your book, pulling it to his chest and holds it tightly, like he’s holding a part of you when his chin tucks over it

He doesn’t hear the bathroom door open either, revealing Sirius in just a towel, crunching his curls with the shirt James specifically told him not to use. 

Sirius eyes his friend, smiling yet there’s a dull ache in his chest as he feels like he’s been thrown back in time

That dumb smile…that dumb beautiful smile that he could describe as lovesick

The smile he wore when Sirius kissed him for the first time, the same smile he himself wore time and time again until that horrid night. The one where he threw away it all in an instant, knowing he’d never be the reason for that smile again

Although maybe there was a chance for him to find it again, or at least let himself be open to it. If Remus could heal, let that girl from the bookshop into his heart like something from a fairy tale, then he could too. He knew you were special, he still wasn’t sure in what way but his heart was ready if it was love once more

“That must be some book” he comments amused and chuckling as his friend jumps out of his skin

Remus’ breaths are heavy as he sits up, a small well of guilt in his stomach forming “You’re an arsehole” he huffs, finally looking at his friend, eyes lingering on his glistening chest as he clocks the tattoo on his upper hip

Sirius smirks at that “Eyes up here Moons” he pokes his cheek with his tongue

Remus lets out a laugh, cheeks a fame for the, hell, he didn’t know what time this afternoon “I’m surprised you didn’t get it redone” he nods to the ink

Sirius’ eyes drift down to the very shoddily done stick n’ poke, his first tattoo and done by the boy in front of him “Your fault it’s shit” he laughs, moving to sit on the bed next to Remus’ facing him

“My fault!?” Remus laughs “You’re the one that squealing the entire time”

“Was not” Sirius defends himself, his own cheeks brushing with colour

“Were too” Remus moves around to face him, book still firmly on his now crossed lap “It took us the whole night to finish it. You were such a baby”

“I was not a baby!”

“Yes you were” Sirius huffs at that like a child so Remus teases him further “Least I didn’t cry”

The boy scoffs “Yeah but you’ll find you have a certain genetic advantage” 

“Nah. I think you’re just a baby” 

“Prick”

“Wank” Remus rebuts before they burst out laughing

The laughter is familiar for them both, and for a moment Remus forgets about the triangle only he knew he was in. While for Sirius things finally felt normal for the first time since they got back as he had been worried Remus was angry at him this week, acting a little weird and not just moon is due weird 

As the laughter dies down Sirius looks at the door then back to Remus “Did someone come in? I could swear I heard muffled sounds in the shower…just hope it wasn’t next door again” he wiggles his shoulders remembering 

“Not next door thank merlin” Remus copies him, never would the look at them the same again “Y/n dropped by” he confesses, not missing the way Sirius’ eyes light up

“And I missed her?” Remus nods causing Sirius to sigh “If I’d known she was dropping by I wouldn’t have bothered doing my whole routine” he sulks, groaning as he flops backwards, legs parting ever so slightly 

Remus’ guilt was put on hold as he raises his hand laughing “Pads mate…” 

Sirius props himself up on his elbows, realising soon enough what his friend was referring too and closing his legs “Not like you haven’t seen it before” he winks

Remus’ feels his cheeks grow hot “The context was very different back then” he says, a smile grazing his face

“Wait” Sirius finally fully registers that you, a Hufflepuff, were in his dorm “How did y/n get up here?” he smirks, more than impressed

“Wormtail gave her the password this morning” Remus tells him

Sirius lets an ‘ah’ before asking “Did she just leave?” he gestures to the door, and if Remus knows Sirius which he’s sure he does he’s thinking of running after her

“Yeah but she’s heading back to detention now. She grabbed the yarn and our sketch before she left though”

“Oh yeah…forgot the puffs had detention today…sunshine classic” he chuckles to himself before seeing Remus wince “You alright?” he asks, tone shifting drastically

“Yeah could you…” he starts but Sirius is already on it “Thank you” he sighs in relief the moment the spell is cast

“Anything for you moony” Sirius gives him a smile, now sitting beside him on the bed “Did she like the yellow yarn?” he wonders

There is it was again, anything for him…merlin was Remus conflicted

“Yeah she loved it” Remus nods, as does Sirius who wears a delighted smile at the knowledge “She says hi by the way” he adds and watches as Sirius’ smile widens, weirdly as nervous as it made Remus he didn’t regret it, he would never regret making Sirius Black smile

“Y/n mention or say anything else?” he asks, placing his wand in his mouth while he bunches up his hair and twists it before taking his wand and twirling it around into a messy bun

Remus watches him in awe, he’s seen it hundreds of times but still found the simple act impressive, especially since he watched Lily try to do the same thing for two hours straight in the library once before throwing her wand...and yes, it was proceeded by him sneaking her to Hogsmeade to get it fixed

“She’s going to start on the knitting tonight” Sirius’ head snaps up “Don’t worry she, Alex and Amos have something planned” his shoulders relax

“Good, she say anything about…” Sirius waves his hand in front of him

Remus lets out a chuckle, swatting his hand “Only if I was okay” he can’t stop the smile on his face so he looks down at the book, fingers lining the covers edge “She’s going to come tomorrow afternoon or evening though”

“That’s good, give us and you time to rest in the morning” Sirius nods, eyes drawn to the book as well “You really like that book don’t ya?” he notes, eyes flicking up to meet Remus’

Out of everyone Remus hadn’t talked about it to Sirius one on one, he explained the plot to James, and Peter…although Peter was a rat and enjoying cheese at the time so who knows if he was listening, but not Sirius. If anything, he’d avoided until now a one on one with him in general…what a shitty friend I am

“I do” he nods firmly “It’s a good book, good plot, characters” his eyes return to the book

“And the girl who sold it to you was really something” Sirius adds, earning another nod and funny smile from Remus “You should go home at Christmas and meet her again…maybe ask for her address to write or those muggle phone numbers” he suggests and the guilt in Remus’ stomach returns

If we were going to tell him now’s the time

“Sirius…” he starts but loses his words the moment he looks into those grey eyes

“Yeah Moons?” he smiles, though it soon morphs to concern “What’s wrong?”

“Y-Sh-ugh” he can’t do it “Can you cast the spell again?” he asks, eyes a little glossy as Sirius nods right away, pulling the wand out of his hair and begins to cast the spell with care

“I got you Moons”

I am a horrible person

You smiled all the way back to McGonagall’s class room, hugging the strap to Amos’ bag which held the yarn and concept design as you had your own idea. You were going to make Remus his own jumper, one which would soothe his pain, help him…a gift you would make with love and without the knitting charm. Actually, you would have to thank Mrs Jamison next time you saw her for all those lessons she gave you…

What the hell are they doing?

“Hey sunshine!” Alex greets waddling sideways with Amos holding what you realise is a rather large and fancy telescope

“Hi?” you shake your head “Didn’t you give me the bag for this exact eventuality?” you wonder with a giggle

They place it down “Yes doll but we always planned to bring this” Amos explains patting it

“A telescope?” you confirm

“Yes”

“A telescope” you say again

“Yeah” Amos shrugs alongside Alex

“Can I ask why?” 

“Yes, but we have five minutes to get this thing in that bag before we need to get back in there so we’ll answer it after sunshine” Alex says, pointing at the telescope and then the bag

You eye the bag, taking it off your shoulders and trying to do the math “I know it’s extendable but I think even that has limits” you state, the muggle part of your brain exploding

“She has a point actually” Alex scratches the back of his head “I don’t think you’ve thought this all the way through Ams” he says to the boy who scoffs

“Me?” he places a hand to his chest “You’re a part of this plan too”

“Yes, but he never thinks things through” you cut in

“Cheeky” Alex eyes you before turning back to Amos “But she’s right…me not thinking before acting is the reason we have this detention”

“Okay whatever” Amos puts his hands up “Just trust me…please” he pleads when you and Alex give him a look “Take one end of the bag each and open it up”

You and Alex do as he says, taking one end of the satchel each and moving apart, lips parting and looking down at it in awe as the opening grows

“Place it on the floor” Amos instructs “Alex help me lift and doll you guide us”

After almost dropping the telescope along with Alex in, the boys finally line it up properly and slide it into place

“That is what you call a convenient side pocket” you note looking down into the bag while Alex and Amos take an end each closing up the bag until it looked like a regular one again

“You can thank my dad for that” Amos says “Won it in a card game against some wizard with a…what’s those things called again…nifflers?” 

You and Alex freeze for a moment ‘no?…no!’ you mouth, both of your faces morphing into awe before needing to hold your chuckles

“What?” Amos asks, wrapping the bag around him, looking a little confused

“Nothing mate, we’ll tell you later. Can’t keep Minnie bo binny…oh hello Min-a-bin-a-McGonagall” Alex says, correcting himself terribly and just nodding at the end, accepting that it was in fact terrible

“Please come in” is all she says, rolling her eyes at your friends but when you pass she gives you a quick smile

“Miss?” you call as you take your seat

“Yes Miss Y/l/n?” she tilts her head

“Can I work on my charms project?” 

She looks surprised but agrees “I don’t see why not” she glances at Alex and Amos “You boys take charms as well correct?” they nod “You may work as a group, quietly”

Alex and Amos stand, moving to join your table. As the sit on either side, Alex reaches into his satchel, grabbing some parchment and quills for you all while you silently ask Amos for his bag to get the plans Remus gave you earlier

There’s only the occasional whisper passed between the three of you. Amos was busy sketching or writing something, something being the word as he was hunched over in complete concertation and his arm blocking whatever it was from view. Alex, surprisingly, did some work, even if he did purposely bother you and write on your page a few times…and got pinched when he spilt his ink in what he whispered was an artistic technique for his own project

“What do you think?” you whisper, gaining both Amos and Alex’s attention leaning back on the stool so they could see your sketch, heavily inspired by Sirius and Remus’ but still, you deemed this one more remus-y compared the original that screamed Sirius

“Love it sunshine” Alex gives your leg a quick squeeze

You and he turn to Amos for his thoughts but find him digging in his bag. Your eyebrows furrow, glancing up to check the professor wasn’t looking…although if the telescope fell out you all would be in bigger trouble than a simple detention

“Ams” Alex hisses as quietly as he can

“One…moment” Amos says quietly yet casually “Ah-ha” he pulls out a tin, a paintbrush and a small strand of yarn that had frayed off the end “Looks great doll but you should colour it to get the real effect” he places them all down

You heart warms “Thanks Amos” you kiss his cheek

His nose scrunches, waving his hand modestly “No problem doll” 

“He gives you paints along with a shitty old brush and gets a kiss, while I have a healing book for your boyfriend and I get nah da?” Alex whisper shouts, although if any of you were paying attention you would see the look of amusement on your professor’s face as she graded papers

“I can give you one now?” you offer

“Meaning…less” you kiss his cheek as he huffs 

“Forgiven?” you ask, fluttering your eyelashes at him

“For now…” he smiles and you nudge him

Around half an hour later detention was coming to a close and you were finished with the painting, but sadly you didn’t have any time to ask their opinions when the professor stands up

“Congratulations you made it through” she comments earning giggles from the three of you “I’ll see you, Miss y/l/n and Mr McConnell on Monday and I’ll see you Mr Diggory same time next Saturday” she smiles

You, Alex and Amos all nod, quickly gathering your stuff but you keep the sketch in your hand

“Bye miss” you give her a smile as you leave

“Bye” Amos waves backwards as he follows you

“Bye Min-a-miss” Alex says, stopping and looking at the professor at the door, cringing quite a bit “You don’t know whether to hate me or love me, do you?”

“After 7 years and knowing someone terrifying similar you would be right, but the answer is both…always both” she replies and with that Alex joins you and Amos out in the hall

“We ready to go?” Alex clasps his hands but then clocks your drawing “Aww that looks so great!”

You smile “You were right Amos, it looks so much better with colour” you look at your friend, giving him a little hug

“He’s going to love it” he tells you giving your hair a quick kiss

“No no no…” Alex pulls you into him “Remmys gonna love it” Alex teases earning a light smack in the stomach

“Stop” you whine with a slight laugh “So are you two going to tell me why we need the telescope now?”

They grin

“Well doll do you know what astro event is happening tonight?” Amos poses looking awfully proud next to Alex who wears an equal if now more smug expression

You look at them a little sceptically “You mean the full moon?” you say, letting out a tiny laugh

“Walked right into that one, didn’t we?” Alex looks towards Amos

“Little bit yeah” he agrees both looking at each other for one second longer than necessary before the turn back to you at the same time resuming their earlier demeanour “There are two astro related event tonight…”

“…and we happen to have charmed telescope to see the cooler one” Alex finishes

You look at them for a moment, eyes flicking between them “Charmed telescope?” you ask but then you figure it out “Ohhh” you press your hand to your head “That was the bribe?” they nod “I thought you were planning to steal a diamond or commit murder” you start laughing and they laugh with you 

“Well technically this telescope is illegal in Britain” Alex informs you amidst chuckles before his head tilts “Although…” oh no you know that although “We should do a big heist again maybe not murder…although that cun…” he stops himself and takes a breath “…Lastrange would deserve it”

“Yeah we haven’t done one in ages” Amos agrees “Alright we’ll put it on the list of things to do but for now the hideout”

You giggle at your friends “Ooo we can finally use the little enchanted terrace on the roof!” you grow excited

“That’s a great idea” Alex taps his nose then points to you “And a greater idea is we should head to the kitchens first and nick a bunch of goodies”

“That is a greater idea” you nod as does Amos and with that you all head off towards the kitchens

“Hideout on a full moon looking at the stars and planets…”

“Plus knitting” you butt in softly

Alex points to the sky “…looking at the stars and planets whilst y/n knits like a little granny…ouch…what could go wrong” he shrugs with a smile

You and Amos stop walking and look at one another while Alex continues walking knowing full well he’s messing with the two of you because what could go wrong…right?

“Well that was ominous as all fuck”

Thank you for reading and let me know if you want to be tagged ♡

@standarizedpumpkins @mitsuriiiii @idkfanficblog @wolfstardaughter-jj @l0v3do11 @allise4 @persephone13 @neelia-thedaughtherof-athena @blushinurcheeks @thcorvi @psamathegoesrawr @thatlizardlady @mediocre-m@ack3rlevi @moonyschocolate13 @reverse-iak @isasv @1nfinitely-yours @moonagedeydreamer​ @nightless @majesticavenger @luv-g3mi @beepbopbee @joweena @melcutie

[mariana-oconnor]

Black Peter pt 3

After my last letter, you may have assumed that the case was entirely concluded with the arrest of John Hopley Neligan by Inspector Hopkins, however it was not so!

You don't say!

"Stanley Hopkins's methods do not commend themselves to me. I am disappointed in Stanley Hopkins. I had hoped for better things from him."

Oh, Stanley Hopkins. And you were doing so well. Alas, alack!

“What, then, is the alternative?” “The line of investigation which I have myself been pursuing."

Is this the thing where he was stabbing a pig corpse with a spear? I'm not sure that will stand up in court. But also he was saying that he couldn't do it in a single thrust, so I'm guessing that means that someone must have shot Captain Carey with a harpoon gun, rather than stabbing him with the harpoon, especially to stick him to the wall like that. They could have shot him from a distance away. Or he shot himself and this is all an accident.

We literally only have one named suspect at this point, though, and he can't have done it because he's already been arrested for it.

"‘Sumner, Shipping Agent, Ratcliff Highway. Send three men on, to arrive ten to-morrow morning.—Basil.’"

OK, so yes, this has to do with the stuff he was doing before.

The young detective was in high spirits at his success.

“It seems to me to have only one drawback, Hopkins, and that is that it is intrinsically impossible. Have you tried to drive a harpoon through a body? No? Tut, tut, my dear sir..."

Yeah, Stan. How could you have gone through this entire case and not attempted to stab a pig with a spear? Shoddy police work. Buffoonery. Utter clown show.

The precursors here of the modern forensics you see being performed on crime shows to this day. Literally down to using pigs because they're the closest equivalent to human flesh available.

But yeah, Stanley. Go stab a pig. It will also help you take out the anger you undoubtedly feel right now.

"My friend Watson could tell you that I spent a whole morning in that exercise."

This makes it sound like Watson was watching him do it. Which... different kind of date, I've got to say. Watson would probably do it, though.

His hopes and his ambitions were all crumbling about him. But he would not abandon his position without a struggle.

Come on, Stanley. You're better than this. Don't risk putting an innocent man in jail.

The first who entered was a little ribston-pippin of a man, with ruddy cheeks and fluffy white side-whiskers.

OMG it's Father Christmas! Was this his response to Carey's daughter's Christmas wish. Full service Santa Claus to the rescue.

I'm not sure if this is a first, but it feels like it: a character being compared to fruit rather than an animal. (A pippin is an apple). This is honestly kind of an adorable description, so I automatically don't think it's the guilty party. But he's great. Love him. Perfect character, no notes.

The second man was a long, dried-up creature, with lank hair and sallow cheeks.

Are these guys going to get progressively more unpleasant descriptions? Or is it going to be more the good, the bad, and the just right. Goldilocks and the Three Sailors.

The third applicant was a man of remarkable appearance. A fierce bull-dog face was framed in a tangle of hair and beard, and two bold dark eyes gleamed behind the cover of thick, tufted, overhung eyebrows.

Clearly a criminal. Although usually 'bull-dog' is reserved as a descriptor for police officers. Is this guy related to Lestrade?

Seems kind of mean that Holmes lured them all in with promise of a job, though. Rude. While they're busy running after an opportunity that doesn't even exist, other positions are being filled. They need to make a living, Sherlock.

Holmes leaned over his shoulder and passed both hands over his neck.

Did Holmes just come up behind the guy and put his arms over his shoulders? Really? That's such a weird way to do this. How do you even get handcuffs on a guy that way? Wouldn't it have been easier to do that from further down?

“I must really apologize, Hopkins,” said Sherlock Holmes; “I fear that the scrambled eggs are cold."

Cardinal offence. Cold scrambled eggs are practically a declaration of war.

“I make no complaint of being man-handled in this fashion..."

"You say I murdered Peter Carey; I say I killed Peter Carey, and there's all the difference."

There is a distinction, that's why there are different words for it and everything.

"I knew Black Peter, and when he pulled out his knife I whipped a harpoon through him sharp, for I knew that it was him or me."

Self defence. Well, I'm fine with that. Seems pretty cut and dried. He had a knife. Really, he did only have himself to blame.

"Peter Carey was master of the Sea Unicorn..."

"So far as I know, the man's name was never mentioned, and on the second night he disappeared as if he had never been."

Seems a likely story.

"Only one man knew what had happened to him, and that was me, for with my own eyes I saw the skipper tip up his heels and put him over the rail in the middle watch of a dark night, two days before we sighted the Shetland lights."

I mean, technically that's two men: you and the murderer. Unless the Skipper was a woman... which I'm pretty sure they weren't because it was Captain Carey, so... two people knew what had happened to him. Three including the dead guy, who probably doesn't count as he was dead, but he knew while it was going on. So... not to be pedantic or something, but really 'Only one living man knows' or 'Only three men knew'... Not that I'm pedantic at all.

"I guessed that he had done the deed for the sake of what was in that tin box, and that he could afford now to pay me well for keeping my mouth shut."

Oh no. Like, rule number one of being in a murder mystery, my dude. Don't do blackmail. It's the most direct path to death in these things. The second rule is never say out loud something that indicates you might have seen something but 'just need to check' before you tell anyone. Either way, you're dead.

This guy actually survived, but he did become the culprit, so... blackmail. Never worth it.

Though I think we're all agreed that he did the world a favour.

“Now I'll tell you the queerest part of the whole story."

You mean that wasn't the part where you admitted you didn't mind being tied up and manhandled by three other men? Seriously?

"For my part I walked ten miles, got a train at Tunbridge Wells, and so reached London, and no one the wiser."

I have questions. For instance, earlier Cairns says 'I stood there, with his blood splashing round me...' And he doesn't mention cleaning himself up at any point. Did he miraculously not get any of the 'splashing' blood on him, or was he just exaggerating the gore (although it was stated earlier to be a very gruesome crime scene) or did everyone just ignore him on the train covered in blood because this is the British public transport system and it's none of their business?

"I say again that if I killed Black Peter the law should give me thanks, for I saved them the price of a hempen rope.”

I mean... this is once again the old 'if you kill a killer the number of killers in the world stays the same' thing. You'd have to kill more than one murderer to actually save them any rope, if they hang you. At the moment they're just even. And given that they wouldn't have caught Carey anyway, they're technically down if they do hang you.

"This room is not well adapted for a cell, and Mr. Patrick Cairns occupies too large a proportion of our carpet.”

The reduction of carpet space is, of course, the main reason why keeping a prisoner in your sitting room is a bad idea.

"I was convinced that the initials ‘P.C.’ upon the pouch were a coincidence, and not those of Peter Carey, since he seldom smoked, and no pipe was found in his cabin."

I did forget about the initials on the pouch. Even though I remembered the pouch because I thought Carey didn't seem like the kind of man to share his tobacco.

"If it were a seaman, it could only be a seaman who had been with him on the Sea Unicorn."

"I spent three days in wiring to Dundee, and at the end of that time I had ascertained the names of the crew of the Sea Unicorn in 1883."

Every. Time.

I therefore spent some days in the East-end, devised an Arctic expedition.

Hey! You know what creatures you might see on an Arctic expedition?

?

Do you know?

??

Do you?

???

What? What did you think I was going to say?

“You must obtain the release of young Neligan as soon as possible,” said Holmes. “I confess that I think you owe him some apology."

Do they make cards that say 'Sorry I imprisoned you for a crime you did not commit?' Also... when did gift baskets become a thing?

"If you want me for the trial, my address and that of Watson will be somewhere in Norway—I'll send particulars later.”

Are they... actually going on the Arctic expedition? Are they taking Mr Lancaster of the apple cheeks? Are they going to explore the fjords?

Did you really organise an actual Arctic expedition? Are you going to pretend to be Captain Basil the whole time?

(Also, does Watson still have his practice, or did he just give that to the guy who lived next door?)

I believe I have read The Norwood Builder, which is coming next, because I recognise the title. We shall see how much I actually remember. Probably not a lot, going by what I've remembered of the ones I know I've read so far.

[barmans-fault]

You made a good point of how this staged photoshoot will lead to increased exposure and ticket sales esp ahead of the US tour, because correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think all their US dates are sold out? They’re not as popular in the states and it’s been a couple months since I checked but I only saw a handful of shows that showed sold out. All this just reminds us of a curated version we have of him. Someone who likes privacy and wants to be lowkey doesn’t date attention seekers consistently and calls the paps on themselves. He just lost all credibility he had

Words of wisdom here from a lovely anon and thank you for sharing these thoughts, i agree with every word 💘

I think people generally get very caught up in the whole "alex is a romantic little prince too busy with his mind on clever lines he's innocent and private and not like other celebs and his privacy has been violated" narrative and tend to forget how much of a business this whole thing is.

The primary purpose of any business, be that show business or not, is to make money. The band is an asset that needs to generate revenue. American market has huge potential for that, alas, as the anon above correctly pointed out, very few of the US shows are sold out at this point, just a month ahead of the tour and the sales need to be boosted. The best strategy would definitely be to hype it up a little. American audience seems to be really into the whole straight dominant greaser bad boy persona (where do you think all those endless alex/your name fics with that shitty 50 shades of grey vibes come from?) and the target audience must be catered for. Both parties benefit: Alex gets the publicity of a cool rockstar kind of tired of his fame with a beautiful gf by his side on an expensive posh Italian resort. The pictures will now be all over insta/twitter/tiktok igniting interest in new fans and rekindling the old ones. The girls will fantasise about taking Louise's place in his arms (oh to be a girlfriend of this rich handsome millionaire musician who is also intelligent and talented and famous and who will fuck you like a whore then treat you like a princess!) and the boys will be jealous of him and his beautiful French girlfriend, wanting to be like him (oh to be this rich handsome millionaire and get all the girls!). Some more tickets will be sold, some more records, some more merch, and a couple of tens (or hundreds) of thousands of dollars will be made. Louise on the other hand, will get more followers and will have more ads, which will also lead to more revenue for her and hence whoever is managing her. Not bad, no?

Alex is usually perceived as a poet with his head in the clouds, an ethereal creature, a poetic and storytelling genius, vulnerable, autistic woodland creature, too exquisite for earthly problems, fragile and defenseless. He is, however, in no way disconnected from reality or too naive not to know how the business works - after all, he's been in it for almost twenty years. And I am supposed to believe his privacy has been violated when it has hardly been violated for the 5 years he was hiding from everyone and no paparazzi whatsoever gave a fuck about him? Oh give me a break. His net worth is estimated to be millions of dollars, same as the band. He is one of the richest rock stars of the generation. I am not saying it is a bad thing - well deserved, he is a genius after all, - but money, even for geniuses, has to be earned. Their music is a product that needs to be sold, and their public image is one of the means to increase those sales.

I do not think that Alex or Louise called the paps themselves last minute - I am pretty sure the whole thing has been set up by the management in advance, with Alex's explicit consent. Again, it is just a marketing strategy which the sales and marketing department decided to go with in order to maximise the revenue. Why would Alex refuse? And please spare me the argument of 'he doesn't need any more money'. Maybe he doesn't (although i am not sure), but the band and the whole machine working for them definitely does as it employs hundreds of people who need to get their paychecks from this whole thing. Mr. Schwarz is staying strong for them, remember?

Once this is all over, the tour is over, the contracts are done and he disappears without a trace, we'll remember this and count how many times paps will ever try to take pictures of him or his gf (zero, mark my words).

Thank you for coming to my ted talk (or thesis defence, more like)♥️

[suratan-zir]

Rat update! I only talked about them, but never showed you guys my new rat boys. They are almost impossible to photograph because it takes like ten years for my camera to focus, and obviously they don't really want to pose, so most of the photos came out like this ↑

I'm putting under the cut the best of the worst pictures of them and boring stories about each rat, the post is gonna be long because there are five of them.

I often warn you about long posts, but this post is really long, I'm not joking

Two older brothers: Tsap and Plyamka (or Pliyamka, idk, either way google doesn't pronounce it correctly). Yes, all of these rats except one have the stupidest names ever, because reasons.

Tsap (Цап)

Tsap is the one with a white stripe on his face. He got his name because for the first couple of days he didn't understood the concept of human hands. Like, at all. He would lightly bite hands because he thought it could be food, and each time he was surprised that it wasn't. I'm afraid that these boys weren't handled at all before we got them. So much for the "professional breeder" and "all our babies are tamed and used to handling", ugh. In the past we already had a boy named Кусь, which means "bite", so this name was taken. But tsap/цап means to snatch or scratch something, so that works too. (in Ukrainian it also means male goat, but this meaning wasn't intended)

Now Tsap is very affectionate little man. He was afraid of being picked up before (more than other boys), but now he climbs on my hands as soon as I open the cage. He is also the slowest of them all (he's phlegmatic for sure), making it easier to photograph.

Plyamka (Плямка)

Плямка means "little spot" in Ukrainian. It was supposed to be just a temporary name until we came up with something better, but, alas, we did not. I often shorten Plyamka to just Plyam, which means "mlem", and also fits him very well.

He was the least shy from the start. He started licking my hands the day after we met. Plyamka considers himself the leader of his little pack. And even though he's still mostly terrified of my older boys, Izium and Bergamot, he still sometimes tries to protect other babies from them. (which is adorable but also breaks my heart because I want them all to be happy, not afraid)

Baton is the only one of the five who doesn't have a sibling.

I never was a big fan of Burmese rats, but my husband liked him so we got him along with others. But when they arrived, it was love at first sight.

He's Baton because Батон is the name of my favorite chocolate bar.

He is the most timid and shy of all the boys. I always feel so sorry for him, literally everything scares him. But I'm his "safe place", when they free roam on the couch he takes food from a bowl and comes to me to eat it, crawling under my clothes or on my lap, poor thing. I love him so much. And he has the funniest little face, his nose is so tiny and ears are so big, his eyes seem to be closer together than in other rats. His fur is oddly soft. At first I thought it was because he didn't yet shed into adult coat, but now I see it's not the case.

Krobus and Cactus - two youngest brothers.

The black one is Krobus, the Siamese (white) - Cactus.

Krobus is the only one who get to have a "normal" name. He's a ball of chaotic energy, which is why I don't have any good photos of him. He is the most playful and mischievous boy, nothing upsets him for longer than 5 seconds. And I think that when he grows up, he will take the leadership away from Plyamka. He's very confident and pushy.

Cactus is a very special boy. First of all, he's VERY vocal. Like, he often squeaks when things doesn't go his way, which, despite the movies, is not a typical rat behavior. He does this with other rats but also with me. He's extremely tame and affectionate, he loves scratches more than anything, always tries to climb on my hands or shoulders, sits very still and bruxes (rat version of purr) in my hands when I pet him. But when he wants me to let him go, he can sometimes squeak to let me know. I was afraid that he was in some kind of pain, but no, it's just his way of communication. I've kept rats my whole life, but he is the first one to behave like this.

You can see that somewhere along the way, someone took a good bite out of his left ear. It happens. It's actually a very sad situation with Cactus. At first he loved my older boys, especially Bergamot, he wanted to sleep and cuddle with him, followed him everywhere. But Bergamot seems to hate him :( It took Bergamot a couple of weeks and a few really violent attacks to push Cactus away. But now Cactus finally learned his lesson, he is terrified of Bergamot.

All boys have been living together for a few weeks now. Things are much more peaceful, but we're not quite there yet. They don't fight at all on a couch or in a small cage, but in larger cage things are not so good. Bergamot no longer bites anyone to the point of bleeding, but he is still an asshole :(

[cescalr]

New tag game: list ten of your childhood ships!

tagged by @babybeale <3... forever ago. Uh. Whoops!

[I will also state my current feelings regarding the ship, and I'll go into as little or as much detail as I feel like <3 I'm also. I have a sieve brain. I'm trying to remember what the fuck it was I shipped as a kid lmao. Anything I shipped, say, pre 2016, I think should count? ftr that means I was 14 or under when I shipped it.]

Nina/Fabian, from House of Anubis;

They're still cute. Better than what they pulled in the last season ;-; fabian and mara...... why...........

2. Sam and Freddie, from iCarly;

This show was just. Not good at writing romance. At all. It was bad at it. But I am very smart and know better than them (/joke) so I could do seddie justice. Er. Maybe trying to do that right now, actually. Shh.

[also, friend; jade and beck is so complicated, you're right. A fun mess, but still a mess lmao. Me and my rarepairs was always a fan of stuff that never ended up being canon though. Might as well put it next, I guess? Looking at your 3.... when it comes to icarly; we could not possibly have had more different opinions on the matter <3 lmao]

3. Tori Vega / André Harris;

I haven't watched it in years so I do not remember why! But I do remember that I did. I think. Don't - don't quote me on anything ever.

4. Willoz - from buffy the vampire slayer;

No gifs for them :( :( :( love them still so very much <3

5. Honestly, I'd steal your number 5 bestie, 6Teen was great. In the spirit of obscure animated TV shows, though - and It's been so damn long I forgot the names of some characters, had to look up the guy's name, lol - Zero and Vin from The Invisible Network of Kids. It left a profound impact on my psyche because they did something really fucked up in the last episode, plus left us on a cliffhanger, and then the show got cancelled </3 rip. Haven't watched it in a decade or so. No idea if it holds up, but I was super invested in these kids doing spy work and experiencing insane levels of trauma that would be ignored come each new episode </3. I was literally 8 years old <3. It has a TV tropes page and the entire show is availible on the Internet Archive, of all places, sooooooo I may browse. For nostalgia's sake. There are literally zero gifs available for this one, because. I mean. No shit.

7. Didn't watch any of that continuity - only got so far as Tracey Beaker Returns... alas. Anyway, my pic for 7..... hm. Sigh.

Stiles/Lydia, Teen Wolf.

This ^ is NOT romantic! she slams her mouth onto his in the middle of a panic attack. Babe. No. No. Regardless; I don't like it </3. They really. Oh god they really fucked up this one. Like a lot. Plus, they both just ended up with much better canon ships (stalia, marrish) that then got shafted for this mess to be the endgame and then the movie breaks them up anyway!!! OFFSCREEN!!!! they didn't even last 2 weeks!!!! fuck!!!!!!!! I don't like them. But I used to. Playlist, for proof. I feel like this counts, because I shipped them when I first watched the show as it aired (I was 10 when the show started), but I did still ship the pairing until well into my teens (16 or so) before I wised up (the show made them very bad in a really boring way. Not that they weren't bad before. Love how they both do things that are otherwise reprehensible but the show frames them as romantic for some fucking reason </3 I was like 13 when I saw this kiss on screen. They're lucky I did research and didn't just take it at face value or I could've gotten some really bad ideas about what's healthy in a situation like this!).

8. Zikki (Zane/Rikki), H20: Just Add Water;

Season 3 does not exist <3 [also, the way they wrote the 'cheating' plotline was fucked up. That woman planted one on him!!! he did not consent!!! Why are we supposed to be blaming him for being sexually harassed in the workplace!!! No!!!]. Still ship them fr fr.

8. maf;lkasjd;f yeahhh. Think if you watched friends as a kid, it was inevitable you'd ship rosschel, the damn thing was pushed so hard. Stand in regretful solidarity;

For really obvious reasons (being that it is rosschel); hot damn no I do not!

9. Harry and Ginny, Harry Potter.

Ignoring the horrendous movie adaptation, when I read the hp books I basically just defaulted to shipping whatever was canon. Luckily for me, the canon hp ships are actually pretty good ones! If you ignore the canaries in the room. (I. Do not. Famously. Well. Infamously.) As for Hinny, whilst its a garbage ship name, the pairing itself is pretty great <3

10. kaljdflkasdt thank god I don't remember jack shit about watching glee for the first time! the sieve brain is a blessing in this one occasion. I've already mentioned in another (tagged <3) post my vaguely-relevant hsm ships, though, so..... hmm. What should I pick.... let's think.... I'm kidding. I don't need to think.

Shoker is a major missed opportunity in ME, and I've been mad about the choices for my fem!shep for YEARS because. Look. Kaiden she did not cheat on you. You left!! You accused her of being evil and fucked off after she was resurrected!! what else was she supposed to think other than 'guess he doesn't want to date me anymore. Rude.' And. You could have sex with Jack but not romance her, that was locked to male characters >:| biphobia [Jack can have sexual relations with women, but her only real connections are to men. Rude!]. And, Liara in my games always turned herself down for romance because she assumed my shep wanted to date Kaiden because she's not a total dick to him and there's no way for me to clarify otherwise, also people making assumptions :/ not great. Plus Li becomes the shadow broker and it's a whole thing, so that doesn't really work out narratively for me anyway. Can't romance Miranda. Can't romance Tali (wouldn't anyway - Tali/Garrus <3). Refuse to romance Garrus that is just so platonic a dynamic it's not even funny. Jacob cheats and dips, so fuck him. Like... all of the fem!shep romances are terrible (or Trainor, I guess, but she's... kind of. Nobody. She's Just There. Sorry. It's not narratively interesting enough for me.) and Joker was right there and augh. Augh! Still ship. Still mad about it. Hatboy Project is doing the lord's work! I salute thee soldier in thine endeavours. Waiting to replay LE until it's been finished <3.

<3

If anyone wants to pick this up, go for it!

[thessalian]

Thess vs the Desert

Well, I seem to have aimed a bit for POSEIDON without really meaning to, but it's been quite the ride thus far.

LAST NIGHT

Hmmkay, what've we got this way? Ooh, a settlement.

...Well, fuck you too.

"Hair like blood", huh? That's ... a descriptor. I guess.

You ... pen the machines and slaughter them that way, huh? HAEPHESTUS probably doesn't like that very much... Yeah, see? You guys are such efficient hunters you get Thunderjaws thrown at you. Yes, I will help.

So ... yeah, I heard something about this from the flood people - you have to trade machine parts for water that's not polluted? This is some Immortan Joe bullshit, right here.

Right. None of this right here is too onerous. No Thunderjaw yet. This here is just a Tuesday, frankly.

(I mean, literally. It is Tuesday.)

So ... "bagged and tagged" means to bury with honours here? That's actually kind of fascinating. Because what it means in the real is just "put in body bag and tie a tag to the toe to identify them", but because they all wear dog tags... Huh. I do love how the Cradle people worked out things based on a combination of religion and really basic anthropology.

Wait. The Tenakth -- the TENakth -- call on the Ten. I checked, and it's not branches of military, unless they added more in this world's future / past / whatever. Hmm. How many subordinate functions does GAIA have? ...Nine. And GAIA makes ten. Clever.

Right. Onward to get your fellow hunters their honourable burial-- Oh, hey, you got a survivor! Great!

Yes. That is a Thunderjaw. Now stop yelling at me I am hiding in this bush for a reason.

Gun gone, gun gone ... Thunderjaw gone without firing off a shot.

Oh, you want me to go on ahead with the hearts? You're trusting me big time. But I guess since I just two-shotted a Thunderjaw for you, that's fair.

I'mma hunt those Frost Bellowbacks first. Sorry not sorry.

And see? I barely just beat you here with your injured comrade.

Oh. You think something bad is going on in your capital whatever. And having to pay that kind of premium for potable water wasn't enough? Yes, fine, I will meet you there later but I kinda need some Tallnecks first.

Also ... hi, Tuvok.

Right. Gonna edge my way south a bit for a few more campfires and... Ooh. Question mark. What is--? Oh. Oseram camp.

Ah. You were waiting on those folks on the other side of the mountains. Yeaaaaaaah that didn't go well. I'll help you deal with that tomorrow.

THIS MORNING

Right. Going to go track what happened to the rest of that dude's crew.

Rumble rumble-- This is going to end with a Rockbreaker, isn't it.

Alas, poor Lunda. Also ... yep. Rockbreaker.

There is some shiny down here. Hope Porguf doesn't mind my having hit this place first. Well, if he does, that's his problem. I've got Burrowers and a probably-Rockbreaker to deal with.

Aha! Way out! ...Wait, did I just get trapped in-- No, there's enough room to sneak through the gap that's left.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Rockbreaker. Sneak. In. Quietly.

Okay. I am concealed in a high place. SHOW YOURSELF, YOU SUBTERRANEAN ANNOYANCE-ENGINE!

Theeeeeeeeeeeere you are. Okay. This might get spicy. POONK.

...

......

.........I. Just. One-shotted it.

I JUST ONE-SHOTTED A ROCKBREAKER AND THEREFORE WIN AT EVERYTHING!

Right. More shinies and ... yes, Porguf, you can have your lockbox back.

Aloy, only you would consider "vertically up a mountain" to be a 'shortcut'.

And now that I've mastered gliding, I can-- SUNWINGS SHIT INTO A BUSH.

Okay, there's you dealt with. I'll turn in this quest and see what I have to climb for the Tallneck--

What do you mean, "it looks damaged"?!?

Right. Porguf, here. I'll be back after I look at that apparently damaged Tallneck and maybe take out a rebel outpost or something.

Oseram have been trying to take down a Tallneck?!? Ambitious little buggers, I'll give you Oseram weirdoes that, but HAEPHESTUS clearly is not a fan of their plans. But I need to do the same idiocy that got you dipshits killed so I can fix your dipshittery.

Okay ... one anchor, and we get Burrowers. Bye, Burrowers.

Two anchors, aaaaaaand ... Sunwings.

YES I KNOW I COULD USE THE BALLISTA ON THE SMALLER MACHINES, BUT I DON'T WANT TO! THESE THINGS HAVE NO PRECISION!

Huh. Bellowback. ...Acid Bellowback, in point of fact. New scan, huzzah. Now, lemme pop you like a pimple-- Theeeeeeeeere we go.

Okay, those are impressive when they go down.

Aaaaaand reboot! Huzzah! BEGONE, FOG OF WAR!

Right. I probably do have time to hit a rebel outpost but I do not have the energy to do so. I need to save spoons for work. So lemme clear these Burrowers out of my way, set up at this shelter, and I can deal with other stuff later or tomorrow or whatever.

I do not know what's been waking me so damn early lately. Maybe I need thicker curtains. Eh, at least it gives me "wake up to the Forbidden West" time...

[demoniqt]

Remarried Empress

Chapter 1: Under the Moonlight

The collapse of their marriage begins on one beautiful sunny morning.

They were visiting the Qi Manor and the Prime Minister were giving them a tour of his lotus garden when they heard laughter, tinkling like the gentle rushing of a brook. It had attracted their attention and it didn't take long before they found the source: a pretty young lady catching butterflies with her handmaidens.  

Right in front of Shen Qingqiu, the Minister eagerly introduced his daughter, smiling widely at Yue Qingyuan as if his First Spouse wasn't literally standing right beside him.

Like Shen Qingqiu was invisible.

Worse still, Yue Qingyuan had been immediately entranced by Qi Qingqi's bright eyes, alluring smile and red-painted lips. Of course, it also probably helped that her figure was mature despite only becoming of age recently.  

But before he could run interference, he was led away by the Madam of the house on account of his talent with the qin. He thought of protesting, seeing his husband was so preoccupied with the young lady of the house. But it would be unsightly and it would paint his husband in a bad light if he blatantly showed possessiveness and jealousy.

So he'd clamped his mouth shut and followed after the Madam.

Looking back, he had expected it some where deep in the dark recess of his heart, the part where he had shoved all his doubts and fears.

Somehow though, it still blindsided him when Yue Qingyuan told him that he intended to take Qi Qingqi as his Second Spouse just a fortnight later.

Shen Qingqiu had tried to control his temper, he really did. Even when the rumours about his husband calling on the Young Lady Qi begun and when Yue Qingyuan's summons and visits to his courtyard at night lessened.

"You said that you weren't interested in her when I talked about it two days ago," Shen Qingqiu accused. Yue Qingyuan sighed, like it was a burden just talking to him. Like he couldn't even bring himself to be honest with Shen Qingqiu.  

"A-Jiu, you cannot just lose your head because you are unhappy with my decision," Yue Qingyuan said, as if Shen Qingqiu had gone into a hysteria instead of just slamming his hands on the table, rattling the porcelain.

"Don't change the subject!" Shen Qinqiu snarled. "I'm talking about the two of you going behind my back!"

"A-Jiu, you have to understand. I need the support of the Qi family if I want to advance further in my career," Yue Qingyuan reasoned with him. "A-Qi will also be able to give me an heir."

Unlike Shen Qingqiu, he meant. At least, not without a treasure flower to assist.

"You said you didn't mind!" Shen Qingqiu reminded him. "You said it didn't matter to you when you proposed and I reminded you that I couldn't have children."

Yue Qingyuan shook his head, "I was young and naïve then. The Emperor is pressuring me to produce an heir and treasure flowers are so very rare."

"Then, you should just adopt or take a lowly concubine," Shen Qingqiu said. "One that would not challenge my place in our home."

"Not everything is about you!" Yue Qingyuan returned, finally losing his temper. "Don't be selfish!"

"I am selfish! You knew that well before we married! You said you accept me wholly, yet you do this to me!" Shen Qingqiu shouted back.

"It's already been ten years! Is it not enough!? What more do you want!?" Yue Qingyuan questioned him.

"Is it too much to ask that you love only me!?" Shen Qingqiu said, grasping a hand at Yue Qingyuan's sleeve, as if desperately keeping his husband by his side.

Maybe he was. Maybe he knew that he was already in a losing battle.

Maybe he already knew that this was the beginning of the end.

"I do love you," Yue Qingyuan lied. "I love you, A-Jiu. This marriage will change nothing. I will still love you the same."

"No. It will change everything. Nothing will stay the same," Shen Qingqiu said, shaking his head as he continued to protest vehemently.

But alas, just as every other time, Yue Qingyuan didn't believe him.

***

Love was an inevitable fact of life.

It was no different for Shen Qingqiu, who was, according to the rumours, cold-hearted and vicious.

If there was a redeeming quality to him, it was that he truly, deeply loved Yue Qingyuan.

If he didn't have that anymore, then he was just a shell of an evil scum, who backstabbed, killed and blackmailed other officials to get Yue Qingyuan promoted to where he was now.

Could he still be called selfish if he didn't do it for himself but for their safety and security?

Perhaps he was the worse, for he wished and did evil upon those who meant to harm them.

Perhaps he should have let them succeed.

***

Shen Qingqiu was a broken person.

Like a porcelain piece thrown to the ground by a uncaring person, only to be put together again haphazardly. There were clear, ugly cracks in his broken seams, residue from his time as a slave, beaten and raped by the Qiu men, and then used like a toy by his former master Wu Yanzi.

He'd thought of nothing but waiting for his Qi-Ge when he suffered at Qiu Manor and then of finding his Qi-Ge's body while he wandered with Wu Yanzi, thinking that he'd died.

There was no way his Qi-Ge wouldn't come for him, unless he was dead, right?

Except, he found out the truth when he met Yue Qingyuan again.

Yue Qingyuan had abandoned him when he'd returned to his cushy life as a noble.

Worse still, Shen Qingqiu had allowed himself to be persuaded to return with Yue Qingyuan, foolishly believing his cajoling words.

How could he ever think that a broken person like him could complete someone as bright and shining as Yue Qingyuan, who was noble-born despite having spent a few scant years as a slave due to a misunderstanding.

His husband, his Qi-Ge, standing beside Qi Qingqi, looked just as handsome as he did when they got married. Qi Qingqi, the beautiful bride in blushing red, looked radiant even beneath her veil.

Their happiness suffocated him.

Their brilliance blinded him.

Their laughter deafened him.

They looked like the perfect match. A complete set.

He had no place here in this wedding, despite his status as the First Spouse.

But he had been ordered to attend by Yue Qingyuan, who had asked him to observe his manners since the Qi familiy and the other noble families would be in attendance.

The wedding was very ostentatious. With new furnishings and everything bedecked in gold and red.

Nothing but the best for the Qi family's precious daughter.

Of course, everyone ignored the fact that she would be the Second Spouse.

It was obvious that Shen Qingqiu's position as the First Husband was undermined by the fact that he was not of noble blood and he couldn't give the Yue family line an heir.

Even during the tea ceremony, Shen Qingqiu was served by a standing Qi Qingqi instead of her kneeling in front of him as per protocol. He'd contemplated spilling the tea on her or refusing the tea. But Yue Qingyuan was already at the end of the rope with him. He had found out that Shen Qingiqu had done all he could to stop the wedding, even going so far as sabotaging the wedding procession.

But it was all for naught.

The tea was lukewarm and so very bitter.

***

He'd expected to be neglected by his husband after the marriage but he didn't think that it would come to this extent.

Yue Qingyuan spent every night at the Second Spouse's courtyard ever since the wedding and Shen Qingqiu's bedside grew colder as days passed.

When they first got married, Yue Qingyuan had treated his courtyard like his own. It was only later that he started utilising his own chambers and when he started courting Qi Qingqi, Shen Qingqiu's courtyard received lesser and lesser visits from the lord of the house.

Now, he'd taken to sleeping in the middle so that the bed wouldn't seem so wide and empty.

***

The worse thing about being replaced was the helplessness.

He'd expected the empty bed, the coldness from his lord husband and the silence.

He'd just never expected to be neglected by the household as well.

When he questioned the seneschal about the lack of charcoal for his courtyard since the weather was turning cold, the man had just answered that there were a shortage because the Second Spouse's courtyard needed it more.

And when he interrogated why the kitchens had reduced his food portions, they claimed, "Madam Qi told us do so. To reduce food wastage and cost."

Rationally, Shen Qingqiu knew that he should take this up to Yue Qingyuan. How could the Second Spouse control the household budget when it should be the First Spouse's responsibility. However, he'd been too angered by that woman's audacity and went to her courtyard to confront her.

But alas, in the end, he had to pay everything with his own savings and allowance when Yue Qingyuan took her side.

"Stop picking fights with A-Qi!" Yue Qingyuan scolded him when he found out what he had done.

"I wouldn't have to if she didn't keep undermining me," Shen Qingqiu returned. "I'm the First Spouse, aren't I? Then why is my courtyard being neglected?"

"What are you talking about? Your courtyard is being taken care of," Yue Qingyuan replied, brows furrowed.

"How would you know? You don't even come to my courtyard anymore!" Shen Qingqiu shouted, angry tears coming to his eyes.

Yue Qingyuan sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Is this what all this is about? Are you feeling lonely? I will come visit you tonight. You don't need to make up lies to catch my attention."

"I'm not making up lies!" Shen Qingqiu shouted but Yue Qingyuan just waved him away from his office. Gritting his teeth in frustration, Shen Qingqiu returned to his courtyard and ordered his servants to clean the chambers thoroughly.

He sat at his table, sewing a winter cloak for his husband. He had to complete it before Yue Qingyuan came that night. He'd neglected finishing it for weeks now, given that he'd hardly seen Yue Qingyuan since his marriage to that female harpy.

But Shen Qingqiu would finally have the chance to gift it to his husband.

***

Yue Qingyuan never came.

***

He met Tianlang-Jun on the night of a full moon.

He had a fight with Yue Qingyuan about the lack of visit to his courtyard.

It had only been a few months since Qi Qingqi married into the household and already Shen Qingqiu was feeling as if everything was slipping out of his hands faster than he could imagine.

Yue Qingyuan had told him that he was busy and with them hosting the ambassador from the demon world, everything else had to take precedence over Shen Qingqiu's selfish needs.

"I'll make it up to you," Yue Qingyuan promised.

As if Shen Qingqiu was still a child who believed in promises.

He sat in his personal garden, the one that Yue Qingyuan had built for him before they got married. He had used it to entice Shen Jiu to marry him, bringing him for a tour of his courtyard and the adjacent garden before popping the question.

The Shen Jiu then had naively thought that he was the happiest man alive when he said yes.

If Shen Qingqiu could go back in time to meet his younger self, he would have told him that it would be the worst mistake he could ever make. That Yue Qingyuan never meant a single word. That he would break his heart and trample over its remains like it meant nothing at all.

Like he meant nothing at all.

Shen Qingqiu sat in silence in his garden staring up at the glowing orb in the pitch black sky only highlighted by the gleaming stars.

Without thought, he opened his mouth and started singing a low and melancholic tune(1). It had been one of his favourite song, reminding him of the beautiful full moon on the night Yue Qingyuan proposed, mirrored by the one glowing above him.

However, instead of blissful tenderness, his words were filled with sorrow and wistfulness.

The song ended with a choked sob from his throat, the words breaking at the last note.

'Wasn't it enough that you abandoned me once?' he thought to himself. 'Why did you pick me up only to do so again?'

He should have just left Yue Qingyuan after he killed Wu Yanzi to protect that ungrateful man. He should never have followed Yue Qingyuan home. Should never have believed his sweet words.

"What a fool," he said to himself, not bothering to wipe his tears away. "A fool in a hopeless love."

A rustle in the trees made him suddenly aware of his surroundings again. He got up from the bench immediately and wiped his tears away.

"Who's there?" he questioned aloud. "This is the personal quarters of the First Spouse!"

"Oops. Sorry, I didn't know that." called a voice, before a handsome demon came out from behind a large osmanthus tree. "I was just admiring the bamboo garden when you came and I didn't want to interrupt you."

Shen Qingqiu felt his face colour at the thought of the demon witnessing his humiliation. He curbed the urge to rage at the interloper, who was probably part of the demon ambassador's entourage, judging by his high-quality clothes and foreign features.

"Why is someone as beautiful as you crying?" said the handsome stranger before Shen Qingqiu could garner a reply.

Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but snort, "Does that really work?"

"What works?" the demon blinked in confusion.

"That pick-up line. Does it really work for damsels in distress?" Shen Qingqiu said wryly.

The demon grinned, cheeks dimpling handsomely. Then he admitted, "Some times."

Shen Qingqiu snorted again, wiping his nose with his handkerchief. The demon had already seen his vulnerable state and he still flirted with him, he wouldn't mind seeing him wiping snot away.

"You really shouldn't be here," Shen Qingqiu said. He should be angry at the trespass by the demon, but he was just so tired of being angry all the damned time. Now he just felt hollowed and tired.  

"Sorry," the demon said, showing more concern for him than his own husband did. "I just couldn't leave when you started singing."

Shen Qingqiu fidgeted uncomfortably with his kerchief. He couldn't believe he wasn't aware that he was being watched all this time. The demon's presence escaped his notice, so he was probably a high-ranking demon adept at hiding his true self.

"Your song touched me," the demon said, looking sincere. "The moment you started singing, I couldn't look away, much less leave. But it was so full of sorrow that I couldn't not say anything,"

"You shouldn't be here," Shen Qingqiu repeated, at a loss on what to do when shown such concern. "Please leave."

"Wait!" the demon said, reaching out to him. Shen Qingqiu quickly twisted away and glared at the demon.

"Don't touch me!"

"Sorry, sorry," the demon said, lifting both his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Shen Qingqiu glared at him venomously but the demon didn't seem to be affected by it. Instead, he continued to smile at the cultivator.

"I was just concerned," the demon said.

"You're a demon," Shen Qingqiu shot back. "What would you know about concern? Or any other emotions?

The smile dropped from the demons lips as he slowly approached Shen Qingqiu.

"Just because I'm a demon doesn't mean I don't feel anything," he said staring into Shen Qingqiu's eyes. "In fact, I would argue that demons are more in tune with their emotions than humans. We just have trouble restraining it."

"Like savages," Shen Qingqiu sneered, feeling unsettled by the demon's proximity.

The demon grinned at him, "Savages. We just need a little governing."

"Then you should talk to your emperor about it," Shen Qingqiu said, lifting his chin proudly. "If he is intelligent enough to comprehend advice, that is."

The demon snorted in laughter as if Shen Qingqiu had said something extremely funny.

"True. True," the demon said. "Unfortunately, the demon emperor is an idiot. After so many decades, he's still having trouble uniting all of the demon world."

"That's treasonous," Shen Qingqiu warned. "To talk so badly about your own Emperor."

The demon grinned at him, unrepentant. Shen Qingqiu harrumphed before turning around on his heel.

"Ah? Are you leaving already?" the demon called out, sounding disappointed. "Good night!"

Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but give him a rude gesture for sounding so annoyingly happy. The sound of laughter greeted his ears as he left his personal garden.

Inexplicably, he found his lips twitching in response.

***

It was during the banquet the next evening that Shen Qingqiu learned the handsome stranger's name.

"This is Tianlang-Jun," Yue Qingyuan said, introducing the ambassador from the demon world.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," Shen Qingqiu said, feeling a little unsettled.

When the ambassador of peace had arrived with his contingent, Shen Qingqiu had been in his courtyard. He hadn't been informed that he should be there at the gate to receive their esteemed guests and by the time he found out about it, Yue Qingyuan had already summoned him to his office to scold him.

"It is my pleasure as well," Tianlang-Jun returned, smiling widely at him and absolutely not minding Yue Qingyuan or Qi Qingqi. "I have heard of Master Shen's achievements in the literary and musical arts and has looked forward to meeting you."

Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but blush at that. His literary works had indeed been lauded by the scholars and the court alike, but his efforts were diminished by his background and abrasive demeanor.

To be acknowledge head on by a high-ranking official, never mind a demon, was... slightly flattering.

They spent the entire evening exchanging thoughts on literary works and musical pieces that Shen Qingqiu even gladly showed off on his qin.

Tianlang-Jun never once shifted his attention away from Shen Qingqiu.

***

Yue Qingyuan came to his courtyard that night.

But it was not for Shen Qingqiu's company.

"It was improper of you to do what you did during dinner!" Yue Qingyuan scolded. He looked flushed, as if he'd been indulging in drink.

"I do not understand what you mean?" Shen Qingqiu questioned with a frown. "I did nothing wrong."

"You were flirting with Tianlang-Jun!" Yue Qingyuan said vehemently.

"I was not!" Shen Qingqiu denied immediately.

Tianlang-Jun was indeed a very handsome and well-built demon, one that garnered appreciative looks wherever he went. Shen Qingqiu couldn't deny that it was highly flattering to have the attention of such a demon but he would never do something such as flirt with another person, especially in the presence of his husband!

"He was staring at you! Talking only to you! If you weren't seated apart, he would have been touching you!" Yue Qingyuan insisted.

"Are you accusing me of infidelity? Do you truly think so little of me?" Shen Qingqiu shot back, anger simmering low but hot. The nerve of this man! When he did the same to him mere moons ago! "No! But you shouldn't have catered to his whims," Yue Qingyuan denied immediately.

"So I should ignore the demon ambassador?" Shen Qingqiu returned. "Next, you'll be saying that I'm neglecting my responsibilities as a host."

Just like Yue Qingyuan did when Shen Qingqiu wasn't informed of the arrival of the demon contingent.

"You were the one who always told me to be more sociable and amiable to our guests," Shen Qingqiu reminded. "Now you're telling me to treat our esteemed guest coldly?"

"A-Jiu! You are so impossible to talk to!" with that, Yue Qingyuan threw his hands up and stormed out.

"Only because you don't stop to listen," Shen Qingqiu whispered as he watched his husband leave his courtyard.

The full moon was bright and round that night too.

***

He was once more at the garden when he heard Tianlang-Jun.

"Why are you crying again?" asked the demon lord, his baritone a low whisper.

Shen Qingqiu, who had chosen to sit on a bench away from the pond and next to a wall, nearly jumped from the sudden question. Unlike the night before, Tianlang-Jun hadn't entered his garden, instead, choosing to stand on the other side of the wall to listen in.

"Why are you there?" he asked back, after swallowing his next sob.

"It is improper for me to go into your personal garden but I couldn't help myself," Tianlang-Jun admitted. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

"You didn't scare me," Shen Qingqiu said immediately. "I was just surprised."

"I saw Lord Yue leaving your courtyard," Tianlang-Jun admitted. "He looked angry. I was worried for you."

A perfect stranger was more worried for him than his own husband. How ironic.

"I'm fine," Shen Qingqiu forced himself to say. Then, he swallowed the lump in his throat, "Thank you for your concern."

"You're welcome," Tianlang-Jun replied, surprisingly gracious.

Honestly, Shen Qingqiu was impressed with his manners, considering demons were well-known for being uncivil savages. But, Shen Qingqiu supposed that rumours could have severely twisted the facts. He personally knew how well gossips could turn a person into a monster in the eyes of the public. Furthermore, he hadn't met many high-ranking demons yet to have a concrete judgement.

"Can you tell me about your Emperor?" Shen Qingqiu asked suddenly, curious about the monarch of the demons. As far as he knew, the demon had been trying to unite all the fractions in the demon world after his son was born ten years ago and his human wife passed away from child birth.

"That idiot? A sentimental moron who couldn't keep his heart in check," Tianlang-Jun said with an uncharacteristic sneer in his voice. "Soft, everyone said. Sympathetic to the humans. Human-lover, they call him behind his back."

"Don't say that," Shen Qingqiu replied, upset at being reminded of the poisonous words that were frequently spouted by the court attendees. And why was he saying things like this? Wasn't he talking to a human himself?

"He can't even do what he promised even after a decade. Unite the demon world, hah!" Tianlang-Jun said. "What is good about him?"

"Is he not doing his best? Sending you here to negotiate peace? If there is peace, there will be less bloodshed and death," Shen Qingqiu said to him, keeping his voice low despite his annoyance. "I know demons are known for being blood-thirsty, but your kind is dying faster than they are multiplying. At this rate, without peace, the demon kind will perish."

"And the world will be out of balance," Tianlang-Jun finished for him. "Yes, that's what Junshang said too. He said that peace and unity is essential for both kinds to survive."

"Yes," Shen Qingqiu nodded to himself. "But it isn't only the demons that are causing trouble for their monarch. Even our own kind is against it. But these are people who doesn't care about the future of the world. They only want to further their own gains."

Cultivators were meant to keep demons in check, not to eliminate their existence. Even someone with a flawed cultivation base like him understood this, yet these nobles with years of experience foolishly spouted nonsense just to pander their own agenda and to gain an advantage over their peers.

"Though it will be difficult in the beginning, even I think that the treaty is the best course of action," Shen Qingqiu said. He heard a hum of agreement from the other side of the wall.

There was a moment of silence that seemed more companionable than awkward for Shen Qingqiu before Tianlang-Jun suddenly recited in a soft but clear voice;

"Under the harvest moon (1), When the soft silver Drips shimmering Over the garden nights, Death, the gray mocker, Comes and whispers to you As a beautiful friend Who remembers."

"Under the summer roses When the flagrant crimson Lurks in the dusk Of the wild red leaves, Love, with little hands, Comes and touches you With a thousand memories, And asks you Beautiful, unanswerable questions."

Shen Qingqiu swallowed at the implication of the poem. His heart felt as if it was attempting to beat out of his chest and his fists grasped at the silks gathered on his lap.

He couldn't bring himself to ask what Tianlang-Jun meant by reciting that poem, too afraid to know. To fearful to look into his own heart.

So he kept silent.

But somehow, Tianlang-Jun knew that he was still there, for he asked, "May I come again?"

This made Shen Qingqiu straighten up in his seat. If anyone found out that they met in the middle of the night alone, they would be accused of having a clandestine affair.

No one could punish Tianlang-Jun, given that he was an ambassador. But Shen Qingqiu was a different story. Despite his title as the First Husband of Yue Qingyuan, he didn't have the favour of his lord husband anymore nor did he have the backing of a powerful family like Qi Qingqi.

If anyone were to accuse them of having an affair, the demon and human treaty will not come to pass and Shen Qingqiu would be accused of sabotaging the negotiations.

He would also be drowned in a pig cage for infidelity.

But...

"Yes," he whispered back.

***

Tianlang-Jun didn't stop coming. Every night, he would stand outside his wall. Some nights, Shen Qingqiu would just listen quietly as the demon spouted about anything that came to mind. On most nights, Shen Qingqiu would sing or recite poetry or even play the qin.

It gave them the plausible deniability in case anyone found Tianlang-Jun lurking outside his courtyard. Tianlang-Jun would just say that he was passing through during a late evening walk and heard the prose and was admiring it. Then, he would amble away and Shen Qingqiu would retire to his chambers, almost laughing at how easily the guards were fooled.

Shen Qingqiu should really tell him to stop coming though. Should tell him to leave.

But he didn't.

***

Nothing could come of this. He knew this.

But he was so lonely and having just this little bit of interaction was such a boon.

During the daytime, he maintained a cold front towards the demon ambassador, already warned by Yue Qingyuan to keep a distance and too afraid of giving anyone a hint of what he was doing behind his husband's back.

And Tianlang-Jun seemed to understand as he didn't outwardly take offense to Shen Qingqiu's lack of engagement with him.

Instead, he focused all his attention on Yue Qingyuan and their discussions, barely looking at Qi Qingqi and rarely engaging with Shen Qingqiu as per protocol.

Being ignored didn't hurt Shen Qingqiu.

Especially not when Tianlang-Jun doubled his efforts in getting his attention during the night visits outside his wall. The demon would also often bringing exotic food and snacks he found at the places he visited during the day's excursions. He would throw them over the wall for Shen Qingqiu to catch and the two would try them on their sides of the wall.

It was... nice.

***

He didn't want it to end.

***

"You did this, didn't you!"

Qi Qingqi was holding one hand over her mouth and another on her flat belly.

"You poisoned me!" she accused, almost spitting at him.

Shen Qingqiu just stared at her in confusion. He never did such a thing! Also, it wasn't as if the Qi family only had him as an enemy. In fact, given Qi Qingqi's abrasive and spoilt nature, she had garnered just as many jealous and spiteful enemies as Shen Qingqiu did.

Shen Qingqiu himself made it a habit to check for poison on a daily basis, so he couldn't understand why she never checked her own food before-

Yue Qingyuan slapped him, so hard that he fell to the floor. He could tasted blood in his mouth, probably because he bit his tongue.

"A-Qi, let's get you to the bedroom," Yue Qingyuan carried his wife, calling for the servants to retrieve a doctor.

Shen Qingqiu sat on the floor stunned for a long time before he became aware of a pair of hands helping him up.

"... Qingqiu?"

Shen Qingqiu touched his swelling cheek, still unable to comprehend what just happened.

Yue Qingyuan had never laid his hands on him like that before.

He swore never to.

Now it was just another broken promise.

It took a long time before he became aware of his surroundings again. All the servants were gone, leaving only himself and Tianlang-Jun in the dining room. They must have all rushed to help their mistress.

"If it was me," Tianlang-Jun said, gently wiping his tears away from his cheek. "I would treasure you every second, every minute that I could spend with you."

Shen Qingqiu just stared at him, feeling nothing but hollowness in his chest.

Only the throbbing on his cheek reminded him that he was still alive.

***

It was reminiscence of their last goodbye before Yue Qi abandoned him at the Qiu Manor.

Shen Qingqiu was inside the room, locked up, and Yue Qingyuan was leaning against the door and speaking through it to talk to him. Except, Shen Qingqiu had been the one to lock himself in.  

"A-Jiu, I'm sorry," Yue Qingyuan said, sounding genuinely apologetic.

Shen Qingqiu said nothing, continuing to sew the hem of the winter cloak. He was almost done with it. He'd probably be done in an hour or two, if he didn't delay anymore.

"Tianlang-Jun interrogated the maid who served us," Yue Qingyuan said. "She revealed that it was the Jin's Second Consort who paid her to do it. It was out of jealousy, apparently."

Why was it that a strange demon actually put more effort in finding out the truth and exonerating Shen Qingqiu than his own husband did?

"A-Jiu, don't be angry anymore," Yue Qingyuan cajoled. "I will make it up to you."

Shen Qingqiu continued to say nothing, making another stitch. Honestly, he was beyond angry now. Beyond feeling anything, really.

He was just tired.

***

Yue Qingyuan's idea of redemption was by sending gifts and predictably, that was what he did the next day. Boxes and boxes of expensive gifts arrived at his doorway in the morning with various letters of apology.

But the man didn't even have the gumption to deliver the gifts himself.

Too busy sitting at the bedside of his wife and unborn child apparently.

Resigned, Shen Qingqiu instructed his servants to sell all the gifts. When they returned, he divided the money and gave it all to his servants. It was the least he could do to reward them for their loyalty towards such a hateable person like himself. Furthermore, one of them was getting married and another had an ailing grandmother to care for.

Shen Qingqiu had no one. So he didn't need that money.

Besides, he had a feeling that he wouldn't need their services soon.

***

"Will you come with me?" Tianlang-Jun asked. "When I leave?"

Shen Qingqiu had been sitting quietly at his usual garden bench when Tianlang-Jun asked that question.

He'd been silent for the past few days and Tianlang-Jun was audibly worried for him, calling out for him every night even when he didn't answer back. Still, the demon continued to talk to him regardless of his reticence.

Until two nights before Tianlang-Jun's scheduled departure.

The demon took the risk of jumping over the roof to confront Shen Qingqiu who continued to stare at the garden that was his wedding present.

"Qingqiu," Tianlang-Jun called out when he continued to keep mum.

Finally, Tianlang-Jun stepped forward and pulled him into his arms.

"If you want to leave, I will take you away," Tianlang-Jun whispered into his ear, holding onto him tightly like Shen Qingqiu was his lifeline. Or maybe it was the other way round, because Shen Qingqiu found himself returning the embrace, closing his eyes to savour the feeling of warmth.

Yet, he couldn't bring himself to say yes.

Because, despite everything, despite all the heartbreak, despite Yue Qingyuan's blatant disregard of him, he just couldn't bring himself to leave.

***

At least, not until Yue Qingyuan summoned him to his chambers and handed him the divorce papers.

***

The truth was, he'd been happy to be summoned, even if he didn't outwardly show it. For the first time in months, since Qi Qingqi was married into the family, he was being called to attend to his husband. He couldn't help but spend hours primping his hair, carefully choosing his robes and bathing to prepare for the night.

There was an undeniable little spark of hope in his chest that he just couldn't smother.

When he arrived, Shen Qingqiu had barely been able to keep the hope in his heart in check before Yue Qingyuan handed him an envelop.

Confused, he opened it to discover divorce papers.

The silence that fell upon his mind and his heart had never been so loud before.

In that silence, there was a clarity that told him that acceptance would be the best course of action.

And with that clarity, came the realisation that there was only one choice that he could make.

"It is only for a year," Yue Qingyuan repeated, for the umpteenth time.

"I accept," he told Yue Qingyuan, taking the divorce papers.

Then, he went to Tianlang-Jun.

***

"All I want from you," Shen Qingqiu told the demon before they came to a final agreement, "Is that you will treat me with respect. Even when you don't want me anymore, you will never treat me lesser than any other wives or husbands."

Tianlang-Jun stared at him for a moment before answering, "I swear that I will treat you with the utmost respect and you will be no lesser than anyone."

Shen Qingqiu nodded, "Then, I will marry you."

The truth was, it didn't matter to him if Tianlang-Jun was lying to him to get what he wanted. It didn't matter to him if Tianlang-Jun just wanted him for sex. It wouldn't even matter if he sold him off when they got to the demon world.

Nothing mattered anymore.

He just wanted to leave, that was all.

***

He left the completed cloak he made for Yue Qingyuan on his bed. Along with all their old letters, written when they were but naïve teenagers blinded by what they thought was love.

Then he left.

He left no note.

Because there was nothing left to say.

*

*

End Chapter One: Under the Moonlight

Notes:

(1) The Moon Represents My Heart (月亮代表我的心) by Teresa Teng. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B5gAczFJps

(2) Under the Harvest Moon by Carl Sandberg. This beautiful poem holds a lot of meaning, the main of which is that things are always better the second time. A point of renewal represented by the death hailed by the end of autumn. TLJ is saying that with the death of love, a new beginning awaits. In other words, he's already beholden by SQQ, but SQQ takes it to mean that he should let his love for YQY die naturally so he can find love elsewhere.

Prologue

Chapter Two

[wihlted]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN. | respond to the prompts out of character!

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

serena has been an oc of mine for almost like... ten years ♡ obviously she has changed a lot over the years, but her general appearance and demeanor have stayed the same. i've always loved writing soft girls, so that's something that's been consistent with her that i really enjoy. serena atp is just a part of me, she's like my favorite toy. i love writing her, no matter how long a hiatus i take, i always come back to her.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

uhhh not really, i enjoy writing most things! it just depends on my mood at the time. most of the time i don't enjoy writing or talking about smut. like i do, but i just need to be in the mood. and constantly talking about smut does get annoying for me ;w; (but i don't DISLIKE IT i have to be CLEAR)

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

i luuuuuv <333 writing romance <33 and shipping <33 i'm so annoying <33

but beyond that i also like absurd plots, and fun, ongoing complex plots that just become an entire universe ala the romy and love cinematic universe <3

how do you come up with headcanons?

i just sit and think about my muse! i listen to music, look at pinterest, talk and plot with my friends, and just look at media that reminds me of her. all of that brings me back to just thinking about her, and how that headcanon makes her more 'fleshed out' and if it conflicts with other things about her. and if it does conflict, is there a reason that makes sense?

do you write in silence or do you play music?

music. i actually really dislike writing in the silence. i almost always have something playing - usually just music or youtube.

do you plan your replies or wing them?

wing them!! i only ever really wing my replies, except with certain people that i talk about threads really in depth with. like, with romy, sometimes we'll really talk about a thread scene by scene with each other. i looooove getting to do that, especially since we can't always throw replies back and forth </3

do you enjoy shipping? 

YES i think shipping is really fun, and i'm a hopeless romantic with nowhere to put all that love <3 so i just live vicariously through serena. so i love writing those deep feelings, and I LOVE WRITING / READING PINING SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!! I LOVE PINING!!! sometimes the yearning is even better than the relationship to me.

what’s your alias/name?

love / rosalie / juliet

age?

25 ⊹♡

birthday?

may 13th!

favorite color?

pastel pink and white!

favorite song?

rn it's probably recency bias but i am LOVING eternal sunshine

last movie you watched?

uhh i genuinely do not remember

last show you watched?

currently watching 'deadly sins' which is just a true crime anthology connecting crimes to deadly sins. the presenter is kind of an asshole and his glasses look like cardboard.

last song you listened to?

eternal sunshine 𓁹‿𓁹

favorite food?

spicy tuna roll sushi / hibachi and literally plain steamed white rice

favorite season?

spring! i love the flowers and the aesthetic, the rain, the cool air. once my allergies get under control, i have a wonderful time!

do you have a tumblr best friend?

fuck THESE bitches in particular (doe romy abby n cassidy)

tagged by @tapalslegacy ty!!!!

TAGGING @sorehsu / @feelsinister / @shoelacestied / @musikensangel

[urostakako]

ok jjk 221 lets get into it

mixed feelings on the unboxing. it was hilarious how unserious they all were and i didn't actually care that much because i love seeing all of them together <3 shoko <3 momo <3 kirara <3 maki <3 miwa <3 hakari <3 hana <3 lowkey i missed inumaki too. twas nice!! but the tone shift was really weird, i was hoping it would be more high stakes than that and it really feels like theyre going back to the 'let gojo handle it' mindset which. feels very much against the point considering the last thought we had from him before the culling game was 'i have faith in all of them.' its like nothing has changed since then.

it's also really weird that nothing has really been said about tengen. all of their actions have been pointing towards them being very untrustworthy and on their own side, and it just so happened that their goals at the time aligned with yuki and co's, but there's just been nothing. it feels very anticlimactic. they knew that gojo could have possibly died upon being unsealed and said nothing, they could've ended the culling game at the beginning and said nothing. like it goes back to yuki getting really mad at them back in ch 201 i think and then just going along with the plan and dying. it feels like there's no point, no fanfare, nobody cares about the really important parts. it feels like tengen's existence was unimportant and pushed aside despite their actions and existence being the reason (or helping the reason) why jujutsu society is so shitty?? idk if this makes a lot of sense but even their conversation with kenjaku in the last chapter... it just feels like tengen means nothing. that's annoying. but anyway

gojo's unboxing was so unserious but i hoped maybe he would go a little berserk when he was actually out. the ripped jacket was cool and i wish gege kept it, that wouldve fucked so hard but he's still suffering the disease of making his men buff when they shouldn't be :/ whatever i guess. up until sukuna showed up it really did seem as if he was going to go berserk which i was so here for!!! especially since the angel was kind of hyping it up. alas it was not to be 😔 which is annoying!!! at least we got a your mom joke? but anyway!! im glad at least gojo vs sukuna is happening first because its not as if kenny really wanted to fight him anyway unless some bullshit with their technique happens like last time with yuki. which would be stupid. but also im not sure how i feel about this upcoming battle though. it would tie back to the 'six eyes and ten shadows killed each other in the past' but one, it feels way too soon for that, and two, i think with the way gojo said 'you? a loser that had to run away from yuuji?' is hinting towards another conflict between sukuna and yuuji. i have many thoughts about this and i'll probably derail later so let's bookmark it here *

gojoken fight would be kind of stupid because if theyre leaving it all to gojo (😐) he would probably just one-shot them. realistically. yuuta coming to fulfill his promise to kill gojo's best friend for him would feel better personally because then his words would actually hold weight lmao and maybe he'll die too!! if gege is continuing his pattern of getting rid of the special-grades (unless he's only getting rid of the adult special-grades which is 😐but whatever!!!) yuuta doesn't really serve a purpose in the story rn anyway besides being gojo's temporary replacement so it wouldn't be a pointless loss either. especially if such a fight would show gojo that his students dont need to depend on him and they have grown in his absence. like he had faith in them to when he first got boxed!! though in that case maybe yuuta's death wouldn't be the best way to express that. unless kids like hakari and maki picked up the slack. idk. my thoughts are a mess rn bear with me here 🙏

* ok so in the last panel too gojo says that he'll win and sure, he could, because sukuna's not even at full strength yet. it makes me wonder where the other five fingers are since if they kill each other wouldn't it be a little pointless if sukuna was missing some fingers? you'd have to get rid of the rest of him through yuuji and that would be stupid. bookmarking this for later also * but anyway!! the game is changed now since sukuna has the ten shadows technique and knows how to use it better than megumi can so theres likely a real chance gojo would get hurt. maybe he'll even lose an eye this time and live to tell the tale considering hana and inumaki got to live (but then again are they really characters in the story anymore? 💀) if he did get hurt that would make it easier for a students vs kenjaku fight to take place as well

and about yuuji. sukuna's not 'running' from yuuji because he's scared but i'm sure that he's wary at least. there was that comment: 'right, this brat is from back then...' which was ambiguous in its meaning (im pretty sure he was saying 'this brat has been strong since back then [pre-sukuna]' or something like that but the possibility of some heian stuff going on is equally interesting!! and weird!!) but yeah. and its not as if being trapped in yuuji was a very convenient place to be anyway. gojo was probably just taunting him saying he was running from yuuji but he is wary of him at least!! especially since he's so sturdy or whatever. so i hope that between gojo vs sukuna someone gets hurt or dies because i think another fight between yuuji and sukuna would be a nice wrapping up. yuuji's active involvement with jujutsu started with sukuna and it would be cool to end it with him, too

not only that but there's also the whole 'if you die i'll kill you' 'so start by saving me, itadori' 'i have a few suggestions about how we can save fushiguro' thing thats going on between yuuji and megumi. we all know it so i guess i won't say it but that's more fuel for the sukuna vs yuuji fight right

* i think gojo is going to lose. if not against sukuna then he's going to lose against something. i'm torn between not feeling great about 'leave it all to gojo' and the adults' feelings that kids shouldn't have to take on adult problems but i think he's going to lose against someone and then the kids will fight so we can have both perspectives? the confidence with which he says 'i will win', the history between six eyes and ten shadows, the one-eye imagery in official arts combined with the weird timing and tone of his unboxing feel like they're spelling defeat but i'm just wondering how it's all going to tie in. like what order are these events going to happen? who's going to do what? how's this going to play out? which isn't even theorizing that's just waiting for the next chapter to come out kldehwjakfdjzhs since gege has dashed all my hopes and expectations. don't even know whos going to die anymore. but whatever!!

this ended up being very long 💀 if i've said anything that was immediately obvious sorry lmao

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - 65

So... with this chapter we are officially at t minus 10. There will be an epilogue too, but There are only ten chapters left and I am already crying. It will be very hard to write the word end for this fic. I hope you will enjoy the last chapter. There’s a lot of fluff and alas, the last smidge of angst.

Well, for now enjoy Rowan on his first day as paramedic.

Aelin’s next shift finally came and by consequence also Rowan’s.

She had woken him up in a special way to celebrate his first day as paramedic and he had appreciated the surprise.

Because of their morning tumble in the sheets they were now both running around the house gathering their stuff.

“We are having breakfast at the firehouse, you need to get accustomed to our life soon.”

“I am bringing my biscuits.” He had baked the night before.

“We will not stop you.”

Aelin grabbed her bag and threw Rowan’s at him “do you have everything?”

Rowan nodded eagerly.

Twenty minutes later they were in front of the firehouse. Aelin took his hand “welcome to east, captain.”

He grinned and kissed her then together they entered the apparatus floor and the common room.

A loud chorus of cheers erupted and a big banner was hanging reading Welcome Rowan.

“Thank you everyone. I am so happy to be here today. Also,” he showed them his box “I brought biscuits.”

“Well, now you are even more welcome,” joked Nox.

Aelin took his hand “I am showing him the firehouse and give him his uniform.” She turned to Manon “are the morning task all set?”

“Yes ma’am. After breakfast. They all have their duties.”

Aelin nodded “Let’s go.”

“I already know the firehouse.”

“Shush.”

Once in the locker room Aelin opened an empty one “you can use this one,” she threw him some paper tape “write your name on this and get changed.”

“You are bossy.”

Aelin leaned against her locker and stared at him undressing, he had his back at her “and you love it.”

Rowan laughed and grabbed the uniform she had passed him. Wore his blue cargo pants, his polo shirt bearing the logo of the TFD on one side and the one for the paramedic corps on the other and finally his fleece with his name on.

Aelin moved up to him “you look perfect,” she adjusted the collar of his polo. The uniform suited him perfectly.

Aelin then pulled out two more items “This is a warm jacket, is waterproof and windproof for winter.” Then she grabbed the second item “this is you bunker jacket. In situations where you need to come close to the scene like a car pile up you’ll need to wear it.” She turned it and Rowan noticed it had Paramedic Whitethorn written at the bottom “You keep the bunker jacket in the ambulance. Lys and Elide will show you where. Lys said you can have your cane too in case you need it.”

She took him around the firehouse “we have a laundry room to wash clothes,” Aelin opened a door “this big room is where were hang our stuff. Bunker gear takes up most of the space.”

They left the laundry room and walked to the shower block and bathrooms “this you know already.

The next stop was the dorm “there are spare beds, you can claim yours. You can come to my quarters from time to time but every night is quite cramped and I want you to sleep.”

Rowan circled his arms around her waist “I am okay sharing the dorm.”

She then took him to the gym “we use this a lot. Manon does kickboxing and she loves to come in here.”

“There are a couple of room that are for the ambulance and I will leave Lys to show you. Then we have the gear room that you know already really well and finally…” they walked to a corner of the apparatus floor and opened another door “cleaning closet. We all live here, so the cleaning is everyone’s job. We take turns and Manon has the schedule printed out and in the common room’s notice board.”

“That is fine.”

“Upstair is mostly meeting rooms and storage.” Aelin took his hand “now we can have breakfast.”

When they re entered the common room the female part stopped and stared at him.

“I have a feeling that soon everyone will be begging to have the ambulance from east station to help them,” confessed Asterin.

Rowan laughed hard and Brullo passed him a mug of coffee.

“So, did our captain gave you the tour?”

“Yes, I have a locker and a bed. I am officially settled in.”

Once breakfast was over and done with, the firefighters went all about their businesses, Aelin disappeared in the office and he followed Lysandra and Elide.

“Ro, welcome to our team. Elide and I are really excited to have you.”

“I am honoured too.”

“Now, while I do some paperwork, you can help Elide restock. We have received supplies. You will go through our setup. As I said in school, every ambulance has its own setup according to the paramedics.”

She turned to Elide “I am in the common room if you need me.”

Lys walked away and Elide clapped her hands “First of all, supply closet.”

Rowan followed her through the equipment room and a set of stairs then Elide unlocked a door “this is it. We used to have a small room before and it was a mess. So now we have this massive room and everything is perfectly organised.”

Rowan looked around the room and was impressed. It was tidy and very neat and all the shelves were labelled.

“Lys and I spent hours organising it. We are both a bit of tidy freaks.”

Rowan laughed hard “Then I will fit in perfectly. I am one too.”

“So living with Aelin must drive you crazy.”

“She is learning…”

“So, I have a list of what we need. You will not find medicines here. We only have gauzes, tubes, IVs and all of that stuff. The medicines are stored in the ambulance and you know our reorder process.”

Rowan nodded “For non controlled drugs you just submit a form to the hospital even on the day is fine. For controlled drugs you send the request to Aelin who will then log it in the system for the hospital and you collect it at the next run.”

“That is absolutely correct.”

Elide pulled out two plastic grocery baskets “fill them in.”

Rowan moved around and started collecting everything on his list. Then he walked to the big window and saw the external stairs and beside the pole “do they ever use the pole?”

“I have seen Aelin and Aedion use it a couple of times. They were having a meeting up here and just went down on it. It was cool.”

Once they were both done they waked back down and through the gear room and saw some team members doing all of their checks.

He smiled. Aelin’s world was finally his world too and he loved to be privy to all the back stage moment of a firehouse. It was fascinating.

Elide and Rowan got back to the ambulance and deposited the baskets on the floor and Elide opened the doors.

It was real. He had made it. He was a paramedic.

“Do you want to do the honours?”

Rowan nodded and climbed inside and looked around “I still can’t believe that this is happening.”

Elide chuckled “you have done really well, Rowan.”

He opened all the compartments and started to fill up what Elide was passing him.

“That one at the bottom is the safe, it was installed during Erawan, we keep controlled drugs in there and Lys will give you the access code.”

It was a good half an hour later once they were done and Rowan sat on the seat when Elide came back to him with a bag. Not just any bag though. A jump bag.

“Now you are officially one of us.”

Rowan took it in a daze.

“It’s all good to go. Lys prepared it for you.” She jumped back down and took him to a compartment on the side “we store them here and below,” she pointed at the lower shel “this are our bunker jackets. I assume Aelin gave you yours.”

Rowan went to grab his and stored it with the others.

In that instant dispatch alarm went off and called for ambulance only. Lysandra reappeared in a flash and went to the driver’s seat, Elide at her side and Rowan rode at the back.

His heart was racing in excitement.

Aelin rolled out on the floor to watch the ambulance go.

“The baptism of fire,” added Manon at her side.

Rowan peeked through the window.

“Woman in distress,” announced Lysandra “I want you to run this. Elide and I are at your side if it’s above your skills.”

Rowan nodded and sat back down.

They arrived at the house and all got off and Rowan grabbed his jump bag. Once on the right floor they were met by a distressed teenager “it’s my mum, she can’t breath.”

The three paramedics ran in the flat and the young girl started crying. Elide walked to the girl and tried to calm her down.

Rowan examined the woman while he put a mask on her face, she was struggling to breath.

“Her lips are swollen,” he said, and kept checking her body “Hives. She might be having an allergic reaction.”

He turned to the daughter “Is your mum allergic to some foods?”

“Nuts,” replied the girl panicking “It’s my fault I gave her biscuits without checking.”

Elide took the girl a bit away while Rowan grabbed an epi pen from his bag and injected her.

Lys nodded at him in approval “well done.”

He then stood and went to the daughter “your mum will be fine, but we have to take her to the hospital. You can come too and keep her company.”

The girl hugged Rowan “thank you so much.”

He went back to the woman, placed an IV and then he and Lys lifted her in their evac chair and carried her downstairs and eventually on the gurney.

Rowan climbed at the back with the patient and the daughter.

“Do you have someone that you can call?”

“Dad.”

“Good,” he told her “when we are at the hospital you can give his number to the nurses and they can call him for you.”

“Will my mom be okay?”

Rowan nodded “she will. I gave her a magic medicine.” He grabbed an epi pen from his bag “this is called a epi pen. Your mum should always have a few in the house. And you can learn how to use it.”

The girls face lit u in joy “I can help mum?”

“Definitely.”

“I always check before I gave her a present…”

Rowan took the girl’s hand and they rode in silence to the hospital.

Once there Lys opened the back doors and Elide grabbed the daughter.

“Rowan, you do the transfer too.”

He pushed the gurney through the A&E and a doctor met him. He rattled out all the info about the patient and told them that there was the daughter too. A nurse took the girl aside and Rowan followed her with his gaze.

Lys pulled him to the counter and they filled the paperwork for the call “that was really good. Spotting the hives was a good catch.”

Once all the paperwork was done, the three walked out “So, your first call, how do you feel?”

“Amazing.” 

Ten minutes later they were rolling back into the firehouse and Rowan climbed down with a big smile on his face.

The rest of east team stopped what they were doing and waited for Lys to speak.

“He is a natural.”

Aelin looked at him from a corner and blew him a kiss and Rowan smiled back.

“Ok guys, the show is over. Back to your jobs.” Shouted Aelin walking to the ambulance.

Elide patted Rowan’s shoulder “he ran the call all by himself until drop off.”

Aelin kissed his cheek and walked away.

While Elide spent the rest of the morning with the team once they were free again, Lysandra kept on training Rowan until Brullo called them all inside for lunch.

Rowan spotted Aelin already seated and she patted the space at her side and he joined her.

Aelin then filled her glass with coke and stood “today we welcome a new member to east station. A new family member, so please join me in raising your glass to Rowan. Welcome to the madhouse.”

They all clinked glasses in celebration.

“Now food everyone, before we get interrupted.”

Rowan smiled, he knew from his days spent as a guest that finishing a meal uninterrupted was a blessing for all of them. He had also learned not to jink it anymore after the Solstice incident.

They were almost done eating when dispatch alarm went off again. At least they had managed to get some food in.

Aelin ran for the engine and truck followed.

“A car down a ravine. Apparently it was the passenger herself who called.”

“Ok, this is going to be interesting.” The three vehicles reached the side of the road where the car was meant to have gone down.

The crews descended and started walking along the pavement to spot the car.

“The vegetation is too thick,” Rowan pointed at dislodged soil “but went down this way. These are tyres marks.”

“Manon, you me and Ress are climbing down.” The three grabbed their ropes and carabiner and tied themselves to the hooks on the bumper of the engine.

“Let me come too,” said Rowan to Aelin “I know how move around this type of environment.”

Aelin looked at Lysandra and her friend nodded. They both knew that Rowan also had very special medical training from the airforce and wilderness training..

Rowan turned to Lys “I will keep you updated with the radio.” He told her while donning his harness and getting all roped up.

Aelin had ordered him to wear his bunker jacket too. 

He went down first and started to descend skilfully snapping the branches and making the path easier for the others.

“I still can’t see the car.”

Manon swore in the distance. 

It took them fifteen minutes to reach the car.

“Let’s all check for fuel leaks. Rowan, stay behind.” He did as ordered and waited until Aelin shouted the all clear. He dropped his jump bag on the ground and went to assess the victim.

“She is alert,” he looked at the woman “Hi, I am Rowan, what’s your name?”

“I am…” a deep breath “I am Sam. My body hurts.”

“Ok, my colleagues here will get you out as quickly as they can.”

He grabbed an IV from his bag and tried to squeeze through the smashed window and roof but the metal was bent so badly that he could not fit both arms in to insert the IV.

“I am a doctor,” said the woman “I can do it.”

Rowan passed her all the parts and saw the woman place her own IV then she placed her own c-collar “It’s protocol, you know.”

Nox, Borte and Luca joined the rest of the team and they started working on the metal.

“Ro, it’s gonna get really loud here.”

“Sam, it’s going to get really loud in here,” the woman nodded “Where do you work?” He asked the doctor to distract her.

“Med. I am an orthopaedic surgeon.” A weak chuckle left her lips “I will definitely need one after this. I can feel my bone.”

“Do you have feeling in your legs?”

“Yes, and it hurts like hell,” she groaned.

Rowan looked at the situation and saw that the team was slowly removing parts of metal to allow more access. 

“I was in an accident not long ago. I crashed landed my plane after it malfunctioned. I destroyed my right knee. Busted the kneecap and the ligaments.” He told to try and distract her.

“Ouch, that must have been a bitch.”

“It was, but I had an amazing physiotherapist who made miracles.”

“I can see. You are here and climbed down the ravine.”

Lys voice came on the radio.

“Patient is stable and alert. C-collar in place and IV too. Exposed fracture on her leg.”

“Good job.”

“It’s my first day as a paramedic,” confessed Rowan proudly “I was in the airforce before.”

“A military brat,” she chuckled “3rd battalion of Terrasen army. I was a medical officer for ten years.”

“So this is a pic-nic.”

The woman laughed and Aelin gave him the nod.

“Sam, they are going to remove the roof now.”

Aelin called for a stoke basket to be pulled down with the aerial.

Once the roof was all off, he climbed in and kneeled at her side and started to bandage her leg wound, then placed a few pads on her head to stop the bleeding “Do you feel dizziness, nausea, headaches?”

“No sign of concussion,”

“Well, that will be the hospital’s decision. The fact that you are lucid and stable is a great sign.”

Manon helped him detach the woman safely from the car seat and then slid the two halves of the back board under the woman.

“Have you ever been air rescued, Sam?”

“No, but I saw many soldiers being rescued that way.”

“Well, we will ask our pilots to be gentle.”

Aelin heard him from her position while waiting to catch the basket being lowered by Nox and almost laughed. Rowan was good with people. He really was perfect for the job.

“Ok, Sam, you lift is here.” He took the backboard with Manon and carried the victim to the stoke basket and secured her tightly.

“Go with her,” said Aelin.

Rowan nodded and clipped his carabiner to the hook.

“Nox, lift it up and gently.”

Rowan kept an eye on Sam the whole time they were airborne, then they finally got out of the vegetation and saw the fire trucks and the ambulance “ready for landing, soldier?”

“Thank you, Rowan.”

His feet touched the ground and unhooked himself then helped Lys and Elide recovering the basket. They lifted the backboard and placed the woman on a gurney.

“This is Sam.”

“Hi Sam, I’ll just give you a quick check then we’ll take you to Med.”

“She works there. She is a doctor,” explained Rowan “GCS 15, she has been alert and lucid the whole time. Her vitals have been good, lacerations on the head but she has not exhibited signs of concussion, the seat belts did their job. The leg has an exposed fracture and I treated it on site.”

“He is good,” added Sam, before being lifted in the ambulance.

“That he is.” Lysandra smiled at him.

He climbed on the back with the patient and Lys and Elide went at the front. Ren closed the doors and they drove away.

“I assume it’s military training. You can’t be that good after having just graduated.”

Rowan nodded “It is. It was very advanced. Safe from surgery we have been trained for a lot. It helped a lot during training.”

Sam smiled “I used to train army soldiers, I have an idea of the level of skills you need.”

Eventually they arrived at Med.

“Your colleagues better look after you.”

Rowan did the drop off since he was the one who had been with the patient the whole time.

While walking out he caught a glimpse of his face and saw a lot of small cuts from the vegetation.

“We should get you patched up.”

Rowan shook his head “I just need to wash my face.”

Lysandra patted his back “let’s go back to quarters.”

Once they arrived back at the station they noticed the truck from south station parked on the apron.

Lysandra smiled happily.

Someone opened the rolling doors for them and she parked the ambulance in its spot.

Rowan appeared from the back and saw Fenrys waiting for him, his arms folded at his chest “Paramedic for a day and he already plays big damn hero.”

Rowan laughed and gave a rude gesture to Fen.

The man roared with laughter “Aelin, are you teaching him such gestures?”

“And that was me thinking that the posh boys had manners,” chimed in Aedion smiling brightly.

“I rescued an ex army doctor, Aedion.”

Fen made a gagging sound “do you need to go through decontamination?”

Aedion slapped the youngster on the nape of his neck.

Lys moved near her husband “leave the kid alone.” And gently patted him “what are you doing here?”

“Fen wanted to see Rowan in full paramedic attire and be his usual wicked self.”

“I behaved,” shouted Fenrys.

“I can imagine all the ladies flocking to him soon.”

Rowan huffed a puff “why everyone keep saying that?”

“With all due respect, captain,” added Asterin “you are quite the eye candy.” And at those words all the ladies nodded while Aelin giggled.

Fen then walked to Rowan and patted him in a manly fashion “it’s good to see you finally in the TFD. You look great.”

Rowan nodded. He had talked with Fenrys and they had shared their experiences with ptsd and the young man had been an amazing extra help. He could not believe that man once was the young brash and prone to rule breaking lieutenant that had served under him.

“Come on Fen, we have to take the truck back.”

Lysandra went to kiss her husband and then the two men disappeared away in their vehicle.

She then grabbed Rowan “let’s go.”

“Am I in trouble?”

Lys laughed “not at all.”

They entered the back of the ambulance and they sat down “no other newbie would have been allowed to pull the rescue you did toady, but I trusted you because I am aware of the skills you have.” She told him gently “I heard you in the ambulance talk to her and that’s another gift, just as you did this morning with that girl and her mother.” Lys looked at him and green met green “I have worked with partners who were good medically but could not reassure the patient or even talk to them.” Lys took his hand “I read you right from the beginning. You will do very well.”

“Thanks, Lys. It feels… amazing. I needed this.” He paused “I assume Aelin told you about what I went through.”

“In passing, she gave a very quickly overview without going into details, but yes, she mentioned your ptsd.”

Rowan nodded “It happened after Gavriel…” he let the sentence fall knowing full well that Lys had been close to her father in law “It was bad, but becoming a paramedic was my goal and kept me going on the bad days. This job allows me to help people and the feeling is incredible.”

“I wish more of my students shared your passion.”

Lys patted his leg “Let’s get out, you might want to get cleaned up and inaugurate the washing machine. You have blood on your polo shirt.”

Rowan climbed off the ambulance and went for the toilets, removed his polo shirt and washed neck and face, then with the kit Elide had given him, he medicated his face.

He was treating a cut on his nose when Borte and Asterin entered the bathrooms and the two women stopped. He was bare-chested, the polo abandoned near the sink.

He turned and both women were beetroot red “Sorry ladies, I was just getting cleaned up.”

They both ran away and he laughed.

Aelin arrived two minutes later and leaned against the doorframe “so that’s why Borte and Asterin are all flustered.”

He turned and faced her “I am just getting cleaned up and my shirt is a mess.”

Aelin walked to him and gently grabbed his face tilting up to the light. Then took a swab and coated it in antiseptic and methodically treated the cuts “It looks like you had a battle with a cat.” A kiss on  his nose “you were amazing today. Lys told me to keep an eye on you, but you held your own beautifully,” she treated the last cut and disposed of the swabs “I called the hospital and I was told that she is fine and has surgery planned soon.”

“Thank you.”

Aelin went away and came back a moment later and threw him a t-shirt “put this one on before you knock out my team.”

He grabbed his dirty polo shirt “this needs washing already.”

“It’s okay,” said Aelin grabbing it “I have a load ready, I can add it to my stuff.”

“Go and play with the guys, Ress is starting a video game tournament.” Rowan stooped and kissed her and gently he pushed against the sink “Come and watch me loose.”

Aelin kissed him again and brushed his hair “I am so proud of you. So damn proud.”

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