#also i wish there was a way for me to learn minute details about 15 without actually. consuming the canon content oviboidvboi

[nebuvoid]

what will arrive first, my copy of ffx or ever crisis. the battle for my hand in marriage begins

[lurkingshan]

Jazz For Two

What an absolute mess of a show. What a muddled message about family and intimate partner violence and abuse. What a nonsensical progression of scenes masquerading as a story.

I have been scratching my head about this one all the way through, but today's final episodes really took the cake. There are so many problems with this show that I could break down in great detail, but the biggest problem as a piece of storytelling is that nothing the characters do makes any sense. Let me illustrate this by describing the progression of Seheon and Taeyi's arc in episode 7 in four scenes:

Taeyi reacts to Seheon's kiss with violent homophobia, calling him slurs and sexually harassing him as a form of mockery

Taeyi feels bad, goes to the piano room, plays a tune, says he's sorry and kisses him, all while Seheon passively lets it happen

Taeyi puts his arm around Seheon, flirts, and struts around the school hallway with him, looking very much like a couple

Taeyi jokes around and tries to kiss Seheon in the piano room

All of this happened within 15 minutes of screen time, with no connective tissue between these scenes to explain the huge change in Taeyi that occurred overnight, or give any agency to Seheon as this boy alternately abuses and hits on him. Homophobia has been a huge and looming threat throughout this show, but suddenly Taeyi is just fine openly flirting with him and Seheon is fine with being attacked one day and kissed the next.

And don't even get me started on the side couple, where we have a character who inexplicably loves someone who has been violently homophobic toward him, as well as assaulting others both physically and sexually in front of him. In episode 8 we learn that Taeyi's brother also loved a boy (Seheon's brother) who rejected him cruelly due to internalized homophobia. Every single pairing in this show is a dynamic of the abused party inexplicably desiring someone who has abused them. I don't understand why any of them like each other, and I straight up don't believe most of these scenes. There is no consistency either internally to the scenes or as part of a narrative through line, and the characters just do whatever the story decides it's time for them to do regardless of whether it makes any emotional sense. And all of this is playing out alongside a story of familial abuse with no apparent idea of what the story is trying to communicate by putting these plots next to each other. The show doesn't even bother to interrogate this before jumping to a bizarrely shoehorned in noble idiocy/romcom run resolution for the main romance that doesn't fit with anything that came before it, and then jumping to a music festival and montages of the two couples hanging out and making music together as if this has been a show about a nice group of friends in a jazz band all along.

And let me tell you, I wish that had been the show we got. I know this was adapted from a webtoon, but it seems it's quite a mess of an adaptation that took an already dark and dicey story and rendered it nonsensical by messing with the pacing and sequencing of events. I very much do not recommend watching, and between this and the strange mess that became of A Shoulder To Cry On, I will be giving this production company extreme side eye going forward.

[balloons-and-shadows]

* Swedish Culture *

As my exchange semester is coming to an end, I want to share with you what learned about Sweden the last 6 months

Trains drive on the left side of the tracks. On dagen H, everyone switched from driving on the left side to the right side, except for trains. Swedes will look at you funny for bringing that up.

On every product there is a detailed description of how each part of the product should be recycled. We need to do that everywhere.

Fika <33333333

There are no rules for biking here. It is chaos. As a Dutch person I'm very confused

Love to the academic quarter that allows me to be 15 minutes late to every lecture

I think Gävlebocken is a tradition we need to keep. Especially the burning part of it.

Why does everything close so early during the weekends??? What am I supposed to do??

Ikea has my heart. And a lot of my money.

Sun setting at 14.30 makes me want to eat dinner so early already

Also, the cold makes my hair literally so static? Does anyone know what to do about it?

I can never live without kanelbullar again

The amount of lactosefree options there are everywhere! Love it!

Swedes will be sitting outside of a café even when it is -2 degrees. I have the utmost respect for them.

Why do you close everything for the winter? What am I supposed to do now??

The Ikea stereotype is no joke. Everything I own is from Ikea. Everything my friends own is from Ikea.

I miss cheap alcohol :(

Where are there random loose chairs and tables in your trains? Where do they come from? Why are they there?

Affordable housing <333

Little kids in their little snowsuits with their little snowboots are the cutest thing ever

In small towns, you can find like 7 different Japanese restaurants. Nothing else tho.

Kötbullar are so cheap. I love them. I buy them all the time.

I need to know, why are you so obsessed with Thailand as a country?? I need answers.

I'm not made to withstand -15 degrees. No Swede bats an eye.

Also, choirs are a very big thing??? I wish I could sing well.

Did I already mention kanelbullar? <33333

People ask you if you've already been to the ABBA museum. You have not. You are also not planning on going. Still, people ask you.

The Vasa Museum is a very controversial topic.

The red barns you see everywhere are painted with animal blood. You like to point that out to everyone who comes to visit you.

You have not seen the sun in days. You live on vitamin D-supplements and nothing else

Icehockey looks 75% of the time like very aggressive flirting. You know, like the kdramas

You are sitting in the bus quietly. There are people checking the tickets. You have a ticket. Suddenly, there are 4 people standing over you checking your ticket. There's only 5 people in the bus.

16.00 is rush hour. That is very early.

People will not move out of the way for you. Not in the supermarket, not on the train or on the pavement. There have been many times I have had to walk on the road because people will not move for you.

What is lingonberry and why do you put it in everything?

Why do your parties start and end so early?? Why is 4.00 considered "late"?

Just like the Vasa museum, Gamla Uppsala is a very controversial topic.

Tiny rocks are strewn over the street to combat the ice and snow. They get stuck in your shoes. There is a tiny rock collection on the floor of the hallway now.

It is -20 degrees Celsius outside. You see a dude wearing kaki shorts.

Tomten has my heart. He is so tiny.

Student discounts <3333

[greypetrel]

15 Lines of Dialogue

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

Tagged by @shivunin, thank you so much Mo! It's been so fun. Also a nightmare because I chose Aisling and my goodness someone make her shut up please. Referenced from Monster Fic (which is still getting views?? :"D Welp.), This one Radha fic , this prompt . Five minutes of silence for the one poop line that didn't make it to the final cut of this meme. Always remembered.

🦄✨ Aisling Lavellan ✨🦄

"We look like a swan and the ugly chick of a cuckoo.”

“I do. He’s just been mistreated. The Idiot started training him as a war horse, but it didn’t go well. He’s been beaten and whipped and given little food for too long, and relegated to do the work horse when he’s not. He just needs to learn that people can be trusted again, but he’ll be stronger and swifter than all the others, I’m sure.”

“Hey, I’m trying to stay in the role. I was told I’m a religious figure and I should behave! You’re ruining the mood, people need to think I’m the Herald of Andraste for real and that you can’t laugh! Stop, or I’ll have to sing a very lewd drinking song, you’ll laugh loudly, and they’ll all know!”

“I am aware I must sound like a child. But I believe people are good, deep down. And that everyone deserves a second chance.”

“In the case I’ll tragically fall to my death on horseback, I’ll leave a note to allow you to talk to my funeral and tell everyone that you told me so, is it all right?”

“The bad and the good, Cole. The good is better if there’s bad, like when it stops raining and the sun shines again, or when springs melts the snow and the flowers grow. But, humans can’t choose one, you know it. There must be snow and rain and thunder to make the flowers grow. I’m fine, don’t look at me. What do you want to do?”

“Honestly, I think all the time that you would have made a way better job as Inquisitor, if I hadn’t convinced the Keeper to send me and not you. You would have done a better job as First than I ever did, if… And I’m… I’m trying to prove that it’s not so, that I can be good too. Been doing it all my life, honestly.”

“Mh. I’m not really sure. Care to try again? For science?”

“You wished for a Cinderella, your Grace, but I am a bad one. You would know if you ever had paid more attention to anyone that’s not yourself.”

“But then, even if I feel nauseous and I hate everything and I would beg you to just take the title from me, I can’t take it, it’s too much and I’m just me… Then I remember that if I had run, I’d never met any of you, and you’ve all become family, and… And I do believe that we’re doing something good to the world. And that’s… That’s enough when the walls seems to loom upon me and I think that I can’t shoulder another impossible decision that shouldn’t be mine to take.”

“What if you explain and nothing changes? I know about loneliness, and of thinking you don’t deserve the love you get. You don’t have to face it alone.”

“I know. But I can still do some good, and the important people will remember me. I don’t care for the rest.”

“I’ve been alone ever since people started calling me the Herald of fucking Andraste, but I guess you wouldn’t understand being imposed by others a part that means nothing to you and you hate, right, Blackwall?”

“But if thinking he deserves another chance makes me a traitor, than be it. He’s more powerful than any of you realize. If you really think that hate and open hostility will ultimately save us all, I am glad to call myself a traitor and die as one.”

“No. You will let me finish. I know my shit, I am good at it, I am happy that you worry and care for me, really! I am and thank you for it, but this is getting ridiculous and I’m only doing worse because I’m stressed about you not trusting that I am competent and constantly watching me like… Like… Like a fucking vulture!”

Special mentions:

"Bad horsey!"

“Hey! I also have good days!”

Tagging: @ndostairlyrium @underneathestars @melisusthewee @rowanisawriter @pinayelf @zenstrike @inquisimer @heniareth and YOU!

[boxoftheskyking]

So you might want to buy a house

DISCLAIMER: all of this is based on my own experience, and I am in no way a real estate professional. This is just some stuff that I’ve learned and some steps that I wish I’d known more about in advance, in hopes that it might be helpful for some people. I might get some terminology wrong, or make mistakes, but hopefully the general info is at least kind of helpful

ABOUT ME: because real estate stuff is specific. I am 33, single, employed, and live in a city in Minnesota, USA. This is my first home purchase, so most of this is specific to being a first-time buyer. I’ve been renting in this area for 15 years. I closed on my house in August 2023.

NOTE: The real estate market is super weird, and varies hugely from region to region, neighborhood to neighborhood, and week to week. What shook out for me will not be what shakes out for you.

This is SO LONG, so it’s under a cut, and I hope you will take it with the good faith in was intended!

Where do I start?

So you want to get started but want to talk things over first. This is a good idea! Even if you have friends and family who have bought before, it’s nice to talk to official type people where you can ask any and every question and know they’ve heard way dumber questions than you could ever come up with over the course of their career.

Employee Assistance Program -If you work a job that has benefits, you might have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Some companies get it along with their health insurance as kind of a bundle, but a lot of people don’t talk about it or know about it. -EAPs are all different, they’re basically a resource hub that you might have access to if your employer covers it. Some things they offer are limited therapy/counseling sessions (usually around a specific need like a breakup/death/life transition), consultation about adoption, personal financial advising, and consultation on housing and buying property. -I used my EAP to find a bunch of organizations that work to support first-time home buyers. The one I went with, NeighborWorks Home Partners, is specific to my area, but there were other options listed. -I didn’t actually talk to anyone related to the EAP, I just logged in to a site that had a bunch of links. But I could have talked to someone if I wanted -If you work a job and have benefits like health insurance, retirement, dental, etc it’s worth asking whoever does your benefits (and HR person, general manager, office manager, etc) if there is an EAP. Again, a lot of people don’t really talk about it.

Homebuyer Education -There’s a bunch of different organizations that provide homebuyer education. I didn’t know many of the details about homebuying, and it’s super confusing and anxiety-inducing, so I found it helpful -There’s a few ways to do this—I did both a one-on-one consultation and an online class -The one-on-one consultation was free from the org I chose. We talked on Zoom and went over monthly budgets (which I didn’t really need to do, I make budgets for a living lolllll), a soft credit pull (will talk more about this below) and talk about what goes into a credit score, and all the different expenses that go into a house and what that might look like. At the end of the day, it gave me the first sense of what my budget for a house might be.  -They did a soft credit pull (see below), which gave me a sense of my credit. It was more accurate than a thing like Credit Karma or my bank. -One note about the consultation - my down payment assistance program (will talk more about this later) required me to redo it, because I did it over a year before closing. So depending on your programs you might need to pay attention to the timeline. I also got a certificate saying I did it that I submitted to my assistance program. (Redoing it meant like a 10 minute call where the guy just helped talk me through my closing documents) -It cost me $75 to take an online class that took a few hours. It was in 8 parts and included watching some videos, reading some short articles, and then taking quizzes. You had to get 80% right to pass, and you can redo it if you need to. It went over most of the things to know and had links to read more. I also got a certificate for that to submit, and it didn’t matter how much time had passed for my assistance program. 

Credit -I’m not going to explain everything about credit, because it is complicated -A soft credit pull is when they check the three major credit reporting agencies to get a general sense of your score. It’s not 100% accurate. -A hard credit pull is what lenders will do when you actually go in for a preapproval (more below). It will be the most accurate. A hard credit pull will have an affect on your credit score, so if you’re ever doing something that involves a hard credit pull, it’s best to do all of that within a month so that it only really hits once. -There are 3 credit reporting agencies, and your score will be different from each one. Why? no idea. They all have a different maximum number that your score can be. Why? again, no idea. It’s around 850 though. -Generally things get easier to do if your score is above 680ish. It’s not like you can’t get a house with a lower score, but sometimes there are other hoops to jump through. -I’m not very useful when it comes to buying a house with low credit, but I bet there are people who are!  -You build credit by owing money and paying it regularly. It’s annoying and dumb, but it’s the way it is. Paying rent on time builds your credit, having a credit card that you pay off every month builds credit, paying utility bills that are in your name builds credit. (Note: This stuff has to be in your name for it to count, so if you pay your roommate every month for the electric bill and it’s in their name, it won’t count. So if you’re in that situation, you may want to put something in your name like a card to build your score). Paying off a car or phone or student loan also helps. -I have really good credit, and I’m neither rich nor special. I just set everything to autopay, including my credit card bill. I use my credit card for most things that I just shop for in the world like groceries, etc, and then I have all my bills autopay from my checking account. How did people do this shit before autopay? I have no idea.

Mortgage vs. Rent -The benefit of paying a mortgage vs rent is that you’re building equity if you pay into a mortgage. This is a surprise tool that will help you later. Which means that if you are in a situation where you need money, you can borrow from what you’ve paid into your mortgage. So like if you get very sick or have a kid going to school or want to throw a big party, you could get a loan based on your equity -Equity is confusing, don’t ask me about it -For me, I pay a bit more per month than I did in rent at my last place. BUT mostly that’s because I’d been living in the same place for many years and my rent hadn’t gone up that much. One of the first things I did when considering buying is look at how much it would cost to rent a house like the kind I would want to buy. And those rents are over what I ended up paying monthly to my mortgage. -Keep in mind that you will be taking on some extra expenses that you don’t have as a renter (like maintenance, repairs, etc). Note: if you’re buying a condo, that’s different. I don’t know shit about that. -So for me, paying my landlord every month for him to occasionally (half-assedly) fix stuff (on his schedule, where he decides who to hire or how to do the work, where he is a stranger in my space for the duration) was not as appealing as me paying the bank every month so I can have some equity  -The first 6 months of owning a house feels like hemorrhaging money out of every orifice, but the majority of these expenses are one-time or rarely-reoccurring things. But I didn’t quite prepare for this the way I wish I had, so when you’re thinking about building your savings to buy a house, you’ll want to consider things like furniture, small repairs, pest control, duct cleaning, gutter cleaning, many many visits to a hardware store, realizing some of your stuff doesn’t fit the way it did in the old place and you have to get new things.... etc. 

The Money Stuff

Lenders -It might be appealing to start by looking at properties, but especially in a hot market that’s not what you want to do first -The first thing to do is to look at lenders! Lenders are basically the institutions that give you the loan to buy your house, and the ones you will be paying monthly for the 30 years of your loan (or until you sell) (or die I guess) -I talked to like 13 lenders, because I love an excuse not to move forward on scary things, so I just do research and research and research until I run out of steam. So i don’t necessarily recommend doing that. But you definitely want to talk to at least a few. -Lenders can be banks (like Bank of American, US Bank, Wells Fargo, etc), credit unions (like Affinity, RCU, etc), or smaller mortgage companies. -You can also talk to mortgage brokers, which are companies that have agreements with different banks or companies and can shop around on your behalf. -I got my list of people to talk to from: my consultation (above), friends who had bought/were buying, friends who like their bank/credit unions for other things -You’ll have a specific person you’re working with, so who that person is matters. -Things you’ll want to ask about 1. How is their communication? How big is your team? If you see a house on a Saturday and they need offers by Sunday afternoon, how likely is it that they will get your preapproval letter ready in time?  2. Are they good at explaining things to you? Do they work with first-time homebuyers a lot? Do you feel dumb talking to them? Are they mortgage nerds and genuinely seem like they care about finding you good deals and cool programs? 3. What are their interest rates at the moment? Know that this will change between now and the time you have the option to lock in, so don’t put too too much weight on this 4. Most importantly: What assistance programs do they have access to? Everyone has different ones, which we’ll talk about below. Don’t assume that because a bank is huge that they have a ton of assistance. Some small places have really great programs. Likewise, some of the banks that are more well-known for big ticket mortgages (like Jumbo loans for mansions, etc) actually have crazy good programs for low-income and first-time home buyers, because they need to show that they also work for the little guy -I ended up going with a small local mortgage company because they had a kickass program ($10,000 in down payment assistance that is forgivable in 5 years. So as long as I don’t sell my house in 5 years, I don’t have to pay that back). -You may be tempted to solely base your decision on who to get a mortgage from on the politics of the lending institution. This is a lovely instinct. HOWEVER, your mortgage can be sold to anyone at any time. Within a month of moving in, my mortgage was sold to Freddie Mac. I still pay the credit union that is the servicer of my loan, but it all goes back to the big guy in the end. So basically you have no control of where your money ends up. (or maybe you do somehow, ask someone else about that) -At the end of the day, you should apply to like 2-4 different lenders. Once you fill out your application, they’ll do a hard credit pull and look at all your income, bank accounts, etc, and they’ll pre-approve you for a certain amount of money. -This is really where you’ll get your house-hunting budget. There can be a pretty big range in what you’re approved for! One lender approved me for $220K (”maybe $225K” they said). Another approved me for $280K. You’ll want to pick a lender based on all the above information, along with the amount you’re approved for. Being approved for $280K doesn’t mean that’s what you should spend (you can, but I don’t recommend it), but it does mean that your budget can be more like $250K, compared for $225K. You’ll want to look around at your area to see what’s reasonable for you.

Downpayment Assistance -for a lot of first-time buyers, the downpayment (and closing costs) is the thing that’s standing between you and being a homeowner. So that’s what a lot of organizations focus on -The more you put down (i.e. pay right off the bat), the lower your loan will be, and therefore the less your monthly payment will be. So it’s worth it to try and pay down as much as possible -(Likewise, if you buy and house and then get a windfall and are like What do I do with all this cash, paying down your mortgage will save you money) -This is because you pay MORE in interest than you pay for your house, so the less your loan is, the less you’re paying in interest. If you find a way to pay off your loan early, you end up paying less interest! And you win against the bank! If you get a raise and are able to put even like an extra $100 towards your mortgage each month, that can cut years off your loan and build your equity more quickly, thereby cutting down on the interest you end up paying. So unlike paying more money to a landlord who will eat it with a spoon, maybe more in your mortgage early is helpful for you. -Lots of downpayment assistance (hereinafter DPA) is stackable! So you can qualify for multiple programs and use them all -Many have an income requirement (for one of mine, I need to make 80% of the median income in my area or less). -Many are location specific. Some of those you can look up in advance and try to focus on properties in those areas. Some are super super specific, like this block only, or these specific addresses. That’s true for one of my programs—whenever I was considering making an offer on a house, I’d email my lender and she’d tell me if that specific address counts for the assistance program -At the end of the day, I got $30K in assistance. $10K of that is forgivable in 5 years (so I don’t have to pay it back unless I sell in that time). The other $20K is from two separate no-interest loans. This means that if I sell the house, I have to pay back that amount. Ideally by that time I’ll have enough equity in my house that will cover that. -Interest rates are super high right now, so if you’re buying now you want to think about refinancing. Refinancing is basically when you negotiate a new deal with your lender. There are fees and things (I’ve never done it so IDK), but the benefit of doing that is getting a lower interest rate. So my rate is 6.25%, and in 5 years if the rate goes down to like 2.3% I may want to refinance so I’ll be paying less in interest over the course of my loan. -If you’re getting DPA that’s a loan, you will want to ask what happens when you refinance. They’ll probably tell you either you have to pay it back when you refinance (so don’t get stuck in that situation if you don’t have that $$$ on hand) or they’ll say it’ll be subordinated -this took me like weeks to get a straight answer on wtf is subordination. Basically, you pay your loans off in order, right, so you pay your mortgage and then after that you pay off your DPA loans. So if you refinance, then your mortgage ends up being “newer” I guess. So in order to put the mortgage back “on top” of the pile to pay off, so to speak, you pay that (and it’s interest) first, the DPA loans get shoved down underneath the mortgage on the list. 

Interest Rates -You can’t control interest rates. Honestly markets are so volatile and the world is so close to ending, I would say it’s not worth waiting for them to go down. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. No one fuckin knows -So many global, political, circumstantial things affect these, and who knows what might happen. My friends happened to be closing during the time the debt ceiling almost freaked out, which was outside of their control, so they got screwed with a super high rate.  -After you get an offer accepted and you’re working on setting up your loan, you’ll usually get the offer to “lock in” an interest rate. Basically, if you have reason to believe rates will go down before you close, don’t do it. if you think they’ll go up, then do it. Who fuckin knows. I did it bc I didn’t think it was likely stuff would go down. And I haven’t looked it up bc if they did I don’t want to know -There are more complicated things you can do with interest rates, like “floating down” and APRs and other shit. Don’t ask me about them, I do not know.

Looking for houses

Realtors -Who your realtor is MATTERS y’all. Here is what a realtor will do: 1. Give you access to a Super Awesome online listing of properties (much better than Zillow! Updates constantly). They will set your search filters based on what you specifically want and your specific budget. That includes size, amenities, location, school district, garage, yard, etc etc 2. Arrange showings for you. Sometimes you might want to go to open houses, but you don’t have to wait for those to see a house. You tell your realtor what you’re interested in and they can set up a time for just you and them to see the place 3. Access houses with funky lil lockboxes. Heist teams should include realtors—I’ve seen my guy get into the weirdest of devices in no time 4. Recommend places to you 5. Talk on your behalf with the seller’s agents or the sellers themselves 6. Take you all the way through your offers, acceptance, all the way to closing (basically, most of the rest of this post) -I am really lucky that a friend of mine is one of the best realtors in town (in my humble opinon). It really worked out for me, because when it came to negotiating price and terms with sellers and their agents, people already respected him and his expertise because he was a known fixture in the field. I’m not saying that an early-career or unknown realtor is bad, but reputation can do a lot of heavy lifting for you (as you’ll see later) -My realtor, S, is not only a friend, but also someone who has owned, rented, built, remodeled, bought, and sold everything from high rise condos to alpaca farms to tiny houses built in shipping containers. That experience was super useful to me for a few reasons: 1. He was very very good at looking at a roof, foundation, or basement, and saying “absolutely not, this is a mess” —I could only rarely see what he was talking about because I know nothing 2. If I looked at a space and said “what if I wanted to add a shower there?” or “could I make this basement area a bedroom?” S was able to pretty accurately estimate what that would cost. So that became part of the math as we looked at places, which was really useful and saved me so much time doing research on my own 3. He’s a queer artist who grew up in a nontraditional family and has lived many fascinating and non-standard lives. I only mention this because when I wanted to talk about my future and what my home could look like, I didn’t have to worry about S making assumptions about what “family” consists of or what my “role” would be. And as a single woman who is looking to adopt, that really meant a lot to me! -(side note if you’re in the Twin Cities and want S’s info, hit me up) -The most important thing about working with S, for me, is that he never made me feel foolish. I gradually got really good at talking about and looking at houses, but even when I asked questions that were obviously, or made incorrect assumptions, he never treated me like I should have known the answers, or like the process was supposed to be easy. And the guy genuinely loves houses!

What to Look For -You’ll want to find a house that fits what you want your life to be, not necessarily what it is at this moment. So think about what you want your day to day to be like. Will you be working from home at all? Do you have or want kids or pets? Do you want to be a person who hosts out of town guests? Do you want to have band practice at your place? Do you want to host D&D? Large holiday meals? Do you want to garden? Grill? Have a firepit? Do you have a car, or do you think you will? Do you have physical access needs based on your body, like particular types of doorways, floors, stairs, size of spaces, etc.? Are there furniture pieces that are important to you that you want to plan around? (For me, I have an electric piano, and placing that was super important).

-I’m a single person, and I want to adopt a kid, and I know I’ll need a roommate in order to afford my mortgage. So it was vital for me to find a house that either had 3 bedrooms, or had 2 bedrooms and a 3rd could be easily finished/added. it was also important that my roommate would have their own private space that was decent size for me to charge rent -Think about all year round. I live in Minnesota, and you better believe snow was top of mind at every house. As a renter, my landlord was supposed to deal, with anything over 3 inches (did he always? of course not). Now it’s my responsibility. What kind of trees are around? Do you have big storms? You need to pay attention to big branches and power lines. Is it getting super hot where you live? You probably want to prioritize central air, or shade.

-On the topic of central air - It’s pricey to add it to a house that doesn’t have forced air heat, because you have to add all the ductwork. If that’s the case and you don’t have that $$$, you can either go with window units or something called a mini-split. It’s basically mini air conditioners that heat floors separately, but have a better range than a window unit. -Does the house have a yard you want to deal with? How about a sidewalk you have to shovel (woe unto you in corner lots) -How does bussing work for the schools in your area, if that matters to you? -Some houses will be empty. Empty rooms look smaller than rooms that have shit in them -Some will be staged. People who stage houses don’t fill them with STUFF, so you’ll notice few bookcases, coatracks, etc. Think about the stuff you have, not the stuff they put in the house. -You will be AMAZED at how some people live. Seriously. Some people have a giant ass oak tree literally leaning on their roof and just deal with it. Some people have 3 bedroom houses, and the only bathroom is only accessible by going through one of the bedrooms. Some people have their fridge down a flight of stairs from the kitchen. Some people have their laundry in the basement, but the only access to the basement is through an outside door. In some climates that’s fine, but I live in fucking Minnesota -I had the instinct when I started looking that I needed to be entirely open to everything, and not be too picky. After about two weeks of looking (and S had me going to like 4-9 showings a day some days), I got real picky real fast. This was helpful for S and helpful for me, so we weren’t wasting time on houses that weren’t contenders. I learned that the houses’ feelings did not get hurt by me not wanting to buy them -Likewise, I started out being entirely open about where I wanted to live. Anywhere in the Cities or near suburbs, I said. But then I went to see houses in these places and realized I did not want to drive that far to work, or that the only way to access places was by the highway, so if it shuts down or there’s a bad snowstorm, I’m stuck. -To that end, i found it really helpful to make myself a Google map (you can make some and save them) of where I go. I included work, church, my bandmates houses, bars I like to go to, and my friends’ houses. Then whenever I was considering a house I’d plunk it on the map and see how it lined up with the realities of my life. -We’ll talk about offers in a sec, but remember that people can technically list their house for whatever number they want. So it’ll be up to you and your realtor to decide what’s fair. I mention this here, because a house may be listed way cheaper than others on your list—there’s likely a reason for that, but if it looks promising, give it a try! It could be that the reason it’s listed low doesn’t matter to you (i.e. it’s next to an annoying business that you don’t mind, or doesn’t have a garage but you don’t have a car, or the other houses int he neighborhood have yards and this doesn’t). Or it could be the seller needs to move it FAST and you can take advantage of their situation. -If you’re a handy person, a cheaper house might be a great option if fixing it up to be what you want is affordable for you. (Again, this is where a realtor like S can be super helpful to come up with those costs). For me, I didn’t want to do jack shit to the house, and I knew I’d be paying for that. (not that I don’t have a whole spreadsheet of eventual projects....but that’s invevitable) -Likewise, it can be helpful to set your filters to include houses a bit above your budget. Some people list their houses WAY higher than they should, so if you see a property that’s been on the market for a while (when I was looking the market was hothothot, so “a while” could mean anything over a week/10 days. In a slower market, you’ll want to look at those that have been listed for 30+ days), it might be worth checking out and then offering low. Chances are the seller will need to reduce the price anyway if they’re not getting any bites, and you could get a good deal by jumping in before they do that. -IDK where else to put this, but measure the garage. I didn’t, and I discovered like a month ago that my car (a little compact Toyota) is too long for my damn garage. It’s not that I wouldn’t have bought the house because of that, but I could have included it in some negotiations.

Offers -So you found a house you like! Now the scary part. 

-You’ll get a sense of the market from your realtor, and they can usually advise you about how quickly you need to move on a potential offer. Sometimes a seller will give a deadline themselves: they call this “best and highest.” So they’ll say “we’re hearing offers at 3pm tomorrow” or “we’re asking for best and highest on Monday.” Generally that’s the cutoff for receiving viable offers. -In the market when I was buying, it was pretty common for houses to sell for 20-40K over the asking price. Again, some houses would be listed too high or too low, as I mentioned before, but on average that’s what I was working with. There were also a TON of offers on all the properties I liked. The lowest number of offers on a house I tried to get was 5, the highest was 19. That is kind of insane. In a slower market, when you’re not competing with that many people, you can offer closer to the asking price (or some people just say “asking” as in “20 over asking”) -The first thing I did when I decided to put in an offer, was to talk to my realtor so he could start getting the paperwork together. You can’t just email the seller and say “i want your house,” there are legal documents that have to be drawn up to make it a binding agreement if it’s accepted. -My folks bought their house without a realtor and did all the negotiating, etc, themselves, but they still needed a realtor friend to do the paperwork for them. If you go that route, you can probably do more informal offers, but IDK how that works. -The next thing I did was contact my lender for the following things: 1. I gave them the address and asked “Does this fall within certain DPAs?” 2. I asked them to run some numbers for me. Usually it was a version of: “What would my monthly payment be if I offered $240K and put down $5K in earnest money, and if I had $20K of downpayment assistance? How about if I offered $245K or $250K? What if I only put down $2500?” This helped me figure out what kind of offer I could reasonably make, and what it would actually cost me monthly if I got the house. 3. Then, when I decided what I wanted to offer, I would ask for a preapproval letter that includes the address of the property, basically saying “hey we’re a lender and we will give Jay a loan of $XX to buy this house, pinky promise” -I copied S on all my communications with the lender, so he knew what I was considering and he could give advice -(sometimes I saw a house on Friday and had to make an offer by noon on Saturday, leading to me trying to call my lender at 9am on a Saturday morning, which sucked. This is why knowing who’s on your lender’s team and how to contact them matters) -There’s no hard and fast way to decide on a good offer, because you won’t know how many you’re competing against. Sometimes your realtor might be able to chat with the sellers agent and find out how many people saw the property, if they have a sense of how popular it is, but sometimes you want. You want to be able to afford it, but also not go so low that you won’t even be considered. -Usually, your realtor will ask you to write a love letter to the house to include in the offer. “Dear seller, I love your house because of blah blah blah, I can see myself doing blah blah blah, specifics specifics.” Do these matter? I don’t feel like they do but whatever. Make a template and update it for each offer. -One thing to note about this is that you DO NOT want to give information about yourself regarding your status in a protected class (i.e. “we’re a young queer couple; I’m a neurodivergent person; I’m an immigrant/veteran/belong to X racial group”). It might seem like that would be helpful in certain areas, but sellers aren’t legally allowed to pick a buyer based on those things, so it ends up working against you.  You can talk about what you do as a job or as a hobby, if you’re an artist, if you’re a parent, if you have pets, if you know who else will be living int he house with you, etc. You can hint at things. But S was very clear with me about keeping it pretty general and about the house. -Once you’ve decided on the $$$ you’re offering, you need to decide if there’s anything else to add to “sweeten the pot.” For some people, that’s saying “my timeline is totally flexible, so if you need to close in a month that’s fine, and if you need to close in 4 months that’s fine.” A lot of people choose to waive inspections. -OHHHHHH Ye olde inspection. Dear God. -The inspection is basically a thing where you hire a professional to look at the house before you officially seal the deal, and they tell you if there are things you need to be concerned about. So if the inspector comes in and says “yeah this roof is going to cave in in a year,” you can use that in your negotiation and say “look, I’m going to lower my offer by $15K, because I will need a new roof in a year.” then it’s up to the seller to decide if they want to agree to that, or if they want to try again to find a buyer who hopefully would not get an inspection. -to “waive an inspection” means that you’re agreeing to skip this step -OK so my instinct was always “I will NEVER waive the inspection,” and a lot of people feel that way. HOWEVER, I did not get certain houses because the people who did offered exactly what I did and waived the inspection. There was a buyer who had made SEVENTEEN OFFERS and beat me out on a house, and they got that house after SEVENTEEN OTHER TRIES because they waived an inspection. -I did get an inspection with my house, which was lucky and also thanks to S being a great negotiator. -I waived it on one of my offers -I would say I’d be comfortable waiving an inspection if: 1. You or your realtor knows shit about buildings, codes, etc. S knew a lot, so was able to look at things like furnaces, windows, basement beams, foundations, etc etc. 2. The important parts of the house are easily visible. Usually this means an unfinished basement. if the basement is finished, you probably can’t see all the structural things you’d need to 3. You’re already planning to do a bunch of work on a house, so you’re offering a lower bid and budgeting to do renovations anyway -At the end of the day, it’s your call. More about inspections below. -Most people who buy houses have mortgages, meaning that they can’t just drop $250K on a house. However, some people got it like that, so they make what is called a cash offer. Cash offers will win out every time, because they are usually higher, are easier for the sellers, and will often waive inspections. Depending on your region and your budget, you may or may not see this. I got screwed SO MANY TIMES and so did my friends, by all-cash, no inspection offers. The majority of these are from people who are buying properties to rent out or Airbnb - they won’t live there so they don’t really care if it’s solid, and my budget range seemed to be about where rich people who don’t want to flip a house felt comfortable buying. It was annoying. -but hey if you got it like that, go for it. -Once you have all the terms of your offer figured out, your realtor will send you the official offer paperwork that you’ll sign (prob. digitally). Then they’ll send it over to the seller and be in charge of all that communication. If the seller comes back with a counter, or with questions, your realtor will bring that to you. They may advise you, but at the end of the day it is up to you what you’ll offer and what you’ll accept.

You got accepted!

-Holy cats, they said yes to your offer and your terms! This is a huge moment to celebrate! I cried! And obsessively looked at pictures of the house over and over -The seller may come back to you with some proposed adjustments. In my case they wanted to round the selling price up by $1K, which I agreed to. (IDK why they cared, but in the grand scheme that was fine). They also wanted to change some of the verbiage in the offer that didn’t actually affect anything. -The first thing you’ll need to do is put down the earnest money. That is usually held in a trust or something similar until closing. But basically, if you said you’d put down $5K of your own money in the offer, you have to prove you have it right away. So don’t offer to put down earnest money that you don’t have! -The higher this number, the more appealing your offer generally is -There are a lot of things that will need to wait until you close, so this period of time feels really weird -You’ll have a purchase agreement (along with any addendums or changes) that basically says “I’m Jay and I offer $XX, the seller agreed to the price and the terms, we’ll see how it goes from here and if it all goes well, this deal will go through” -I’m gonna say it now, don’t ask me about escrow. Escrow is basically like an account where money lives between you and the bank. You pay extra into this account so that if something happens and you can’t pay what you agreed, the bank still gets the money for a certain period of time. or something like that, I don’t know, it gives me a headache. I’m sure other people understand it better.

Next steps

Inspection -If you included an inspection in your offer/purchase agreement, you’ll want to set that up within a few days. (Don’t worry about booking “last minute,” inspectors pretty much always work on that kind of schedule. Very few people are booking inspectors weeks in advance. This was something I felt bad about, but it’s okay)

-Inspections are pricey, and usually have different packages that include different things. I chose to do the sewer scope bc I had a friend who found some crazy sewer issues and I didn’t want to deal with it. Your realtor can probably give you advice on what you might need. -Inspector look at a lot of things: all your systems (like heating, cooling, pipes, electricity, etc),  your windows, roof, foundation, gutters, attics, floors, plumping, appliances, etc. -They do NOT open walls/ceilings/floors, etc. So if it’s not visible, they won’t be able to report on it.  -They’ll send you a big ol’ report, and if you can be there with them they’ll do a walk through with you to talk over big issues. Your realtor should come to that as well, as they might have good questions. -After you have the information, you have to decide if there are any big issues that need to be addressed. The inspector will flag things that are a problem legally, but it’s up to you how much you care about them. Some will be easy fixes. Others might be deal breakers that mean you decide to walk away from the property entirely. Most things will be in the middle.  -Note that some things are legally “issues” but practically may not matter. There are certain outlets on the outside of my house that aren’t right, but I don’t intend to use them much and if it turns out I need to, it’s not that expensive to switch them out. My basement stairs are an absolutely death trap, but my laundry is upstairs and so i dont really need to use them much. I could spend like $4K to replace them, but I don’t care at this point, and it’s not a big issue for me. But legally they are terrible. -Some things may be an absolute problem that the seller needs to deal with before you’ll agree to by the house. -You and your realtor will come up with a list of things you want to tell the seller to fix before closing. They might fight you on some of them, and again that’s why the realtor being a good negotiator matters. -Generally, you want to ask for fixes on the important things, without asking for every little thing, so the seller doesn’t decide you’re too much trouble and they could probably back out and get a better offer that wouldn’t cost them as much in repairs. -for me, the garage door was busted so they defnitely needed to fix that. There was a pipe that was put in wrong that was a quick fix. And there were birds in the attic, so they needed to clear those out and go through and block up all the entry points in the room. All of these requests were reasonable, and the sellers agreed to them. -At this point, it’s up to you if you want to pay for a re-inspection (i.e. the inspector coming back to verify that they did all the work they were supposed to). I didn’t—instead I had them give me all the receipts from the work that was done along with photos and video of the work. That way if something is a problem in the future, I can contact the companies that did the work and take advantage of warranties, etc.

Home Service Warranty -Speaking of warranties! There’s a thing called a Home Service Warranty that you’ll need to decide on. Mine is through American Home Shield. Basically this is a warranty that covers things in your house. There are different levels of coverage, so some just cover the big things like windows/roof/furnace/water heater/etc. As you upgrade, it’ll include things like stoves, fridges, dishwashers, etc. -If you’re getting your own warranty, you basically pay a certain amount per month for the coverage. Then if any of the covered things break down, it get’s fixed for free (plus a small service charge. For me that’s $125). So if your inspector tells you “hey, you’ve got about a year left on this water heater” or “the furnace has some issues that might come up in a few years” you could save a BUNCH of money by having this coverage. -My realtor got this warranty included in my purchase agreement, so the seller is actually paying for a. year of my coverage at he upgraded level. This is SICK AS HELL and not every realtor will think of it—definitely mention it to yours. I didn’t even think of it as an option. Basically what this means is that if any of my stuff breaks this first year, I can get it replaced for very cheap AND I don’t even have to pay the monthly coverage fee. -When I moved in, my shower was broken. I tried to fix it, but the called AHS and I only paid $125 for a plumber to come look at it, order parts (which would have been pricey since my house is pretty old), and fix it for me. I hate my fridge, so I have a goal to break it this year so I can get a new one for free.

Appraisal -Okay, so you got the seller to agree to your fixes, everything is moving apace. It is time for the GOD DAMN APPRAISAL -(for many people, the appraisal is fine and is not GOD DAMN anything. For me, it was a nightmare and I didn’t sleep for like 2 weeks) -Okay so what is an appraisal. Basically, the seller said “my house is worth $XX” you said “I’ll pay $XX for it.” Your lender said “we’ll give Jay a loan for $XX.” But now someone else has to look at the house and determine if it’s a fair price for the house. This is what really determines the loan you’ll get (this is also why what you’ve gotten so far is a pre-approval. They’ve basically said “you’re capable of paying back a loan of $XX, but we need an outside agency to determine if this house is worth is”) -The appraiser will look at the house, inspection reports, and other sales of similar houses in your area. Ideally, this helps them determine if the price you and the seller have agreed on is in line with what is reasonable. -Banks are not going to give you a $400K loan on a potting shed in a ditch -It’s all complicated and this is where a lot of shit in the Housing Crisis came from -Basically, you want the appraisal to come at or higher than your purchase price. (if it comes in higher, do a little dance bc you got a deal) -If it comes in lower, you can be in trouble. That’s what happened to me. -A note about rules & regs - lenders cannot talk directly to appraisers. This is because of the housing crisis and all the shady backroom deals that were happening (i.e. if you appraise this house at this price, we’ll give you Mr. Appraiser Guy some kickbacks from the extra money we’re making in mortgage interest or whatever). In practical terms, this means it takes FOREVER to get messages to all the parties involved.  -If the appraisal comes in low, you can ask for a reappraisal. It’s up to the appraiser if they agree. There are rules about this. -What Happened To Me: OK so my house is in a historically Black and immigrant neighborhood (read, historically redlined). This means a lot of the properties here are undervalued based on other locations. In a hot market, even undervalued properties can go up in price in a big way. In a slow market, that doesn’t happen so much. My appraiser only wanted to pull comps (meaning comparable sales of similar houses in the same area) in my exact neighborhood. However, there hadn’t been any sales of similar size/age/etc houses in my exact neighborhood since last winter. Guess what the market is like in the winter in Minnesota! Fucking SLOW boy. So these comps were coming in like $20K lower than my agreed price. So my realtor and lender took a look and said “look, if we widen out a little bit to these nearby neighborhoods, we can see all these more recent sales that are closer to our price.” It took two weeks of back and forth to get the appraiser to agree to add some of these comps to the appraisal. He was really reluctant to look outside my immediate area, because my neighborhood is of “lower value” than the surrounding areas. Structural racism, baby. Not against me, but against my neighbors and everyone who’s lived in this area for the past 150 years. Hooray. Finally, I got a re-appraisal that was $8K lower than my purchase price. So I was in a pickle. I had an agreement with the seller saying I’ll pay $XX, while the bank is now saying “we’ll only give you a loan for $XX-minus-$8K.” So either I need to come up with $8K MORE of a down payment in earnest money, or I need the purchase price to go down. Or i need to find more assistance. HERE IS WHERE HAVING S MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. He went to the seller and basically used his status and significant experience to say “Look, you can either agree to lower the purchase price by $8K, or we all walk away. If we walk away, this means you have to re-list the house, wait for more offers. And then even if you get an offer as good as or better than Jay’s, that person will still need to go through the appraisal process. So...  you’ll probably be right back here. The only chance you have of skipping appraisal is if someone comes in with a cash offer, meaning they won’t need a loan and no bank is involved. But for a lot of the reasons the appraisal is low, those types of buyers (who often want rentals/vacation rental properties) ain’t looking to buy in this neighborhood.”

(or that’s what I imagine he said. It was probably smarter)

ANYWAY, all that to say a MIRACLE occurred, and the seller agreed to lower the purchase price of the house by $8K. I can tell you the whole story of how I found out over a drink sometime, but let me tell you I wepttttttt

-Anyhow, once the appraisal is good and you’re pretty sure the deal is going through, you gotta get insurance. call a bunch of places, figure out what coverage you need, see if it’s cheaper or easier to put car/life/etc in the same place. You have to have insurance if you have a home loan - basically the bank owns the house, so it’s in their interest to have it covered in case of disaster.

Closing

-I’m going to be quick on this, because it’s super technical and I only kind of understand it. -Closing is basically the day where you sign all the paperwork, after which the house is yours! Then you can start moving, renovating, decorating, whatever you want. -One of the things that’s part of closing is the Title and Title Insurance. Basically, you need to pay to have the paper that says you own the house, and then you have to pay for insurance on that piece of paper. Why. IDK.  -At this point there’s so many random fees and charges, I just kind of looked at the totals and made sure nothing was way out of range of what I expected.  -A few days before closing, you should have the following: 1. receipts/evidence from any fixes made to the house or a re-inspection report 2. Closing disclosures, which basically means any information that’s attatched to the deed for the home. This can include unpaid property taxes, any weird liens on the property, any easement agreements with neighbors you should know about, etc. 3. All the paperwork you will sign! -It is in your best interest to read ALL OF IT if you can. (the title person was surprised I’d read mine, which I found super worrying lol) -If you are buying a house by yourself, you will not BELIEVE how many times you will read “Jay, A SINGLE PERSON, is buying a house ALONE AND BY THEMSELF, as a SINGLE UNMARRIED ALONE PERSON” Very judgy. What are you, my grandma? -One thing about disclosures—it’s up to your title company to do research on weird shit that might be attached to your property. You can technically choose your title company, but I wouldn’t not recommend looking for the cheapest option if the company doesn’t have much of a track record. I had an issue come up with a payment the seller owed that was delayed, and my title company had to be the one that caught that. My friend and his husband got in trouble because some seller 5 years ago didn’t pay property taxes, and so the IRS came for THEM. The title company should have caught that before they closed and had it dealt with. They won’t end up paying it, but it’s a huge pain and they have to argue with the IRS which is never fun. -On closing day, you’ll do a final walk through with your realtor. This is your last chance to bring up any issues! You DEFINITELY want to do this walk through. If the seller left the door unlocked and an entire family has taken up residence in the living room, you need to know! If the contractor they hired to fix the plumbing knocked a new whole in the wall, you need to know! Don’t expect that the seller will tell you about any new issues that they caused. -This is your last chance to say “Hey, there’s a new major issue that wasn’t reporting, i ain’t signing shit until we re-negotiate” -If you find yourself in this situation (hopefully you won’t!) PLEASE don’t be afraid to say something! Don’t worry about how much time and money has already been put into it, or about calling out a seller who is acting in bad faith or fucked somethign up. This is your house! It matters! And your realtor should have your back. -But most of the time, the final walk through is fine! Then you go somewhere to sign all the paperwork. If you’re like me and have 3 different types of DPA, it will be two giant folders worth of paperwork.  -Once you sign the paperwork with the Title Company, they’ll put the paperwork through. After that happens, the bank should transfer the whole ass agreed amount to the seller. Also, if your DPA is in the form of other smaller loans from other sources, those should be paying to the seller at the same time. -in MY case, one of my DPAs took 3 hours to process for some reason, so I had the most anti-climactic closing ever. I signed everything, waited for an hour and a half, and then they were like “you can go, we’ll email you when you officially own the house” So I just awkwardly hung around and ate pancakes until I got the email. -Let’s say you have a relative who wants to help you out with your downpayment (Yay! Every little bit counts!) Or let’s say you’re living with someone who doesn’t want the house to be in their name, but they want to contribute to these initial costs. You’ll want to talk to your lender about this as soon as you know about it. There is special paperwork for “gifts” that basically let’s it go directly to you downpayment but it doesn’t count towards your income. So if Grandma Bob says “I got $10K for you” and you just deposit the check in your account and plan to pay $10K more in earnest money, that will suddenly look like you have $10K more money to your name, so might change how your loan and DPA shake out. But if you get Grandma Bob to sign a particular document and give you a certified check, you can just give that right to the Title person and it goes right to making your downpayment bigger, therefore making your loan smaller! Thanks Grandma Bob! -”Cash to close” is essentially what you are paying at closing via all sources. So that’s your downpayment (including all assistance) any gifts, your earnest money, etc. Sometimes you have additional closing costs. They may be covered by DPA, or you may be on the hook to write an additional check. You’ll know this in advance. -Hey, check it out, you own a house now! -(keep all your paperwork0 -They’ll give you a document you have the file with the city called Homestead filing, basically telling the city that you own a house and you live there.

NOW WHAT?

-Now I’m done telling you things. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more, but also talk to professionals in your region who know things. -I started writing this post before I closed in July 2023. It’s now mid-November, and I’ve been living here for 3 months. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned that might be helpful: 1. It’s good to know what kid of walls you have (drywall vs. plaster and lathe, etc) because that determines how you can hang things on them. Also if you have plaster walls, just get a cheap magnetic stud finder. The fancy electronic ones often don’t work 2. It’s good to have a drill. It just is. 3. If there’s a big project you need done (say your garage is too short for your goddamn car), you may qualify for a home improvement loan from the same kind of orgs that give DPA. I’m doing it just because I don’t want to drop $3K in one go. Technically I have 4 years to pay it off, but I’m going to make larger monthly payments and pay it offer quicker than that.  4. We can talk about contractors and permit and zoning all day. Suffice to say, it’s good to look up who to talk to at the city about construction permits, and they can be both incredibly confusing and very nice. Often at the same time. 5. If you’re gonna have a roommate or partner or non-child family member who is paying you monthly to help with the mortgage, DRAW UP A LEASE. You want shit in writing, and they have rights as tenants that need to be respected. Many a relationship has been saved by PUTTING SHIT IN WRITING. (there are templates you can find) 6. FEELINGS: People always tell you “You won’t know how you feel about X until you do it.” Getting a dog, moving away from your folks, living with a partner, whatever. I am here as an old man to tell you, they are right. I had no idea I would have such BIG FEELINGS about this lil old house. When I come home and my roommate has the lights on and it has a glow, I feel so much that sometimes I cry! Setting things up, making decisions about organization, learning how to be in my space, means so so much more to me now than it ever did when I was renting. The stress is greater, too, because I have to make all the decisions! It’s exhausting! But every day in my house I am so happy to be here, I’m so glad my other offers weren’t accepted, because this is the best of the houses I looked at. It is my 117 year old baby and I love it forever.

Also I never want to do this again lol I’ve decided to die here.

[bonesandthebees]

Internship is certainly going. I want to say going okay… I could be doing better but I kinda got unlucky with my internship spot and workload. This would be much easier to explain if I could just say what kinda of internship it is, but that kinda feels like too much details both for my current degree and the job I’ll be doing after. (Internet safety and all that). Anyway, what I can say is that anyone in the field irl pulls a face when they hear about my internship. The workload feels impossible, but somehow I’m doing it and I’m about half way through so *aggressively knocks on wood* it should be fine.

I do have a different internship in like a month or so and some other projects but those feel like child’s play compared to the current hell incarnate. So moral of the story: sometimes you just get to have a few mental breakdowns, pick yourself back up and go again the next day (again and again and again and again). It’s like that quote: [“It gets a little bit easier every day, but you have to keep doing it.”] or what’s the other one? [the only way out is through]. And then take plenty of breaks and do fun things even if it feels like you don’t have the time because that’s the only thing that’ll keep you going. The world is always more manageable after a good meal or a power nam or a 15 minute music break.

I’ve been blasting a lot of music based on moods, getting back into Dutch music because girl, I need to learn how to spell properly and every internship I have a song that gets me through. This one it’s ‘secret for the mad’ by Dodie. I’ve had to loop it over and over to get the motivation to try at times, to really let the words sink in, but it helps. So find a song to get you through when you need it.

Lastly, I’ve been meaning to say something about Him, but I just haven’t had the time and energy to write something coherent (aka I’m not using my 30 minutes of evening downtime that are just for me for this negative energy). Best thing is can say is that this is a good opportunity to get into new creators. Just have fun with it (hermitcraft season 10 has been getting be through this). Listen to new music. Try new things to fill the void. I’ve pruned all my playlists and social media follows and such and it felt like a fresh start. (Oh and learned your red flags people. People who don’t respect your boundaries (no matter how small) can be(come) very dangerous.)

My only issue now is that I can play since I saw Vienna and La Jolla on guitar (the picking patterns always smooth me), but now I’m not sure if I can keep doing that. I haven’t tried playing them. I feel like I should look at the lyrics first then decide. But I haven’t found any picking songs with the same soothing vibe, so I’ve been playing a bunch of my classical pieces and I really like playing the ‘romantic’ ones and for some reason the polkas and the blues? So again filling the void.

Anyway, thanks for all the well wishes. I’ve been missing you guys. This has been chaotic life updates with Spruce. I really need to start being productive now. So, bye!

-🌲

yeah of course don't say any details that would reveal too much info about you, but man that sounds stressful :( at least you'll switch to something else in a month?? I'm so sorry you're stuck in hell rn I hope you get through it alright!! make sure to take it easy when you can!! you're so right the world is so much easier to deal with after a power nap or a snack

oooo I haven't heard secret for the mad in a long time but I used to listen to dodie from time to time. I used to think of such angsty scenarios with my ships while listening to 'sick of losing soulmates'

also it's so real to have a song to help you get through shit like that. I'd say rn for me one of those songs is all american bitch by olivia rodrigo because I just have a lot of fun screaming it in the car. tested waters by loupe is a calmer one I've been listening to on repeat lately

you're right this is a great opportunity to get into new creators. I was already drifting to watching qsmp creators more often besides just phil and tubbo, but now I've been trying to tune into bagi and tina's streams if I have the time

definitely look at the lyrics first, but I feel like out of most of the ycgma songs since I saw vienna and la jolla are two of the 'safest' options you could pick for something like that. at least compared to your sister was right and losing face...

la jolla and since i saw vienna are both such pretty songs though. there's nothing wrong with playing those on your own guitar I'd say? it's not giving any money to him. but of course it's up to your own personal comfort.

good luck spruce!!! ty for checking in we all miss you over here!! <33

[burstingwithbellies]

You lumber into the fertility clinic for your scheduled ultrasound, to see how many babies you're carrying... but your belly gets stuck in the doorway to the scanning room~

“That jerk…” I curse out as I waddle my way in.

6 months ago, before I started these weekly checkups, I had a boyfriend. Evidently, I had a boyfriend and a baby daddy. Obviously… He knocked me up but instead of him leaving me, I left him.

I didn’t want kids; despite how esteemed people my age are with them, and he gave me the jackpot in babies.

It would be any family’s dream to have a son as knocked up as me. Nearly every family’s prerogative was to have as many kids as possible. So much so, that some families don’t mind if their children hook up with any stranger for one night. If anything, they would encourage it. Single parents were better than being childless.

I know my parents were ecstatic when they saw my stomach expanding. I didn’t even decide to tell them about my pregnancy; it just showed. My belly just started growing before them and that was also when I found out I was pregnant. And I quickly understood how much of a problem I had on my hands.

And I broke things off with my boyfriend after that. I didn’t want this. I wasn’t trying to have kids at any point in my life and my family was super huge, so I would have been destined to have a litter. I warned my boyfriend of this, but he would tease me about it instead of actually taking precautions. Telling me what a good daddy I would make and how he would like to… and think…

I shake the thought of him out of my head. I wasn’t the fatherly type! If I wasn’t making my parents so proud right now, I would have just gotten rid of these babies. If there weren’t so many of them in me, I could have gotten rid of them.

But my doctor said that it would be difficult to remove them. “You’re a growing boy”, he told me, “An alarmingly expanding boy”. I don’t know how many I’m having nor do my doctors. We have no idea how many we are dealing with here and it doesn’t help that I enlarge every two minutes and so intensely too.

The doctors couldn’t keep track of my progression, it was so fast and they had to order a new ultrasound machine to a proper look at me. Only today, 6 months later, I’m finding out the size of my brood.

I honestly wished I were more careful. My family was very well-endowed. We carried so many babies for generations without end. So fertile! So, of course, I would have wound up pregnant with just one little slip-up. I have over 15 siblings for crying out loud!

But I was a little bit of a slut. I couldn’t help it. I always swore to myself to stick to being abstinent. Those were my best chances of not getting pregnant, but my greatest weakness was not keeping my legs shut.

And you think I would learn my lesson after this? Well, news flash: I didn’t.

I had gotten so much attention with the pregnancy. I would have men who approach me and try to get to know me: aiming for every little detail about me and my pregnancy and trying to explore every little detail of my body.

It was like I had a “For Free” sign on my global belly. I would get manhandled and catcalled so often. Their eyes would light up when they hear I’m single and sometimes, they don’t even need to hear that before making a move on me. They just see my overgrown ass and just want to take it all for themselves, and I couldn’t be the one to say “no”.

The most desirable people in the world these days were those who were pregnant and carrying heavy but I would have never expected to be so lusted after and so pleased with… being so pregnant and hot to others.

One afternoon, I went on a train and it was a feeling frenzy there. Trains ride were always tight, even before I got pregnant. The train would always be packed and often, I would fall against somebody or get bumped into. The rides got tighter as I blew up in size. It was always my biggest fantasy for someone to cop a feel on me in there and after getting pregnant, my dream got realized. Now, nearly every day, I would be massaged on the train by several people. They had no respect for me. Shamelessly, 10 people would feel my belly and look for kicks, someone would motion me onto their lap so I could have a cushiony seat for my overworked body and someone would whisper every dirty word in the dictionary into my ear while ogling all of my body they could see. Someone would pretend to grab a pole and “accidentally” graze my boobs. Someone always looked to be behind me and the number of boners that would jab me.

I shake my head out of the clouds when I hear my name called. One benefit of this giant mass of flesh called my belly was that it would cover up my boners when I got randomly aroused like this and boy, I was sporting a big one right now. Hopefully, my bell was now big enough that it could cover me when I have to present myself to my doctor.

I push myself up and step toward my doctor’s office.

And I’m stuck. I’m 6 months pregnant with who knows how many babies and I have gotten myself so huge that I’m now wedged in a door. I am such a slut!

The men in both the doctor’s room and the waiting room jump into action. Suddenly, so many hands are touching me. I tense up.

“Don’t worry, sir! We got you!” One of my helpers shouts out.

Oh, this was embarrassing… and kinda hot? Such rough, controlling hands upon my body, all over. I moan a little. I think some of them know that I like this. And I think some of them like this themselves too.

I keep feeling more hands flying at me. Oh, this is heaven.

“Guys, I’m still stuck! I… I think I need more of you!” I beg. I just wanted more men; to take over my fertile form. They all tug at me like I’m a piece of rope. I cry unabashedly. Oh, this was too good ~ !

Oh, what is wrong with me?!

Someone puts their hands on my ass. I squeal as they squeeze my cheeks together. That isn’t too helpful. Oh God, some of them are just playing with me.

“Someone just has too many babies in them!” A voice pierces that statement in my ears.

“Yes!” I agree too excitedly. “And I’m just getting started! Oh, push me around more ~ !”

[k-phoenix]

hello! i would love to hear the rant about PET scans :3

Holy shit so okay I'm in the train for the next 20 minutes, and I _know_ that's not enough time to get into all of it, but I could rant about this for hours, so. Maybe we cap this at 20 minutes. [20 minutes later] Okay so I wrote a huge wall of very boring text that barely started getting into it, so let me provide way less detail, actually:

It is massively expensive. A PET scanner costs a lot. And it's not a one time purchase, and then you can do scans, no, you wish. You also need some very expensive equipment to create radioactive tracers (which are what is used to do a PET scan) on site, because that stuff needs to be created fresh (under an hour) before every scan. To create the tracers is ALSO incredibly expensive. A single PET scan costs multiple thousands.

This also means that PET research makes use of as few participants as possible. A study with 15 participants is considered big. You simply cannot infer from 15 participants to the whole population. This also means that, statistically, it is highly likely that you don't find an effect even though it exists - meaning if your PET study looks for the effect of A on B, it is highly likely that it will find that A has no effect on B even though it does - simply because you didn't have enough participants (if this explanation doesn't make sense, let me know, and I can explain in detail)

This, together means, that an absolutely absurd amount of money is used for research that, by design, will not find results, because to find results, they would need more participants and even more money.

Because scientific publishing is a shitshow at the moment, research that doesn't find results very rarely gets published, especially not if you can't even be sure whether the result is right. So absurd amounts of money put into research that doesn't even get published.

And I haven't even talked about the results they did find and issues with them. Don't ask me to explain those. Don't tempt me to put hours into writing a multiple page essay that nobody will read.

So, in conclusion: PET is an absolutely amazing feat of engineering that is magnificent in detecting cancer and with it we could learn so. Much. More about the brain and how it works. But to do that, a lot of the basic organisation of how we do science would first need to change. Many labs would have to collaborate and be okay with making the collected data openly available, so appropriate sample sizes (=numbers of participants in a study) can even be achieved (Here's a paper on that). That probably won't happen, though.

Now, obligatory note: one of the professors who taught me about PET is a man who wrote an extremely controversial paper about exactly this stuff, despite also using PET in his research. If you like niche drama in science, look into this paper and all the articles that are responding to it.

[anniekong]

1) I saw the job posting and expressed my interest in applying to S.

2) S knows the hiring manager and makes the introductions via email. ( I've also reached out to others who may know him to gain insights)

3) Admin schedules the introductory meeting on the same day-it was a snow day too

4) I went to this initial introductory meeting a little underprepared to meet M

5) I went home and worked late that night. E saw that I was online and we had a quick catch up call. I told him about my day and my job search process and it turns out that M was his mentor during his time in the US. E offers to put in a good word for me.

6) I wrote a thank you note to M and inquired about the predecessor to learn more about the role.

7) It was SA and I write him a cold email and set up an initial call. I met with him to gain further insights on the role such as the day to day.

8) S puts in a good word for me explaining my performance rating in 2022 but M expresses his concerns due to lack of marketing experience and leadership skills.

9) I applied for the job and resumed working.

10) I went to Zurich to give a workshop and I saw the interview meeting pop up on my calendar for the following week. It’s a panel interview of three people in total. I shared the news with J who was co-hosting the workshop with me. She was extremely happy for me and offered to help shape my stories during my time in commercial operations. "All you have to be is yourself," she said. I wish it was that easy. We are both big believers that things happen for a reason so a rejection would not be the end of the world.

11) Exhausted after a long week, I crafted and practiced my stories on the plane ride back and continued to practice until the night before. ( Everything from my tone, hand gestures, eye contact, eyebrow twitch etc).

12) It was D-day and my first hybrid interview. I have not had an in- person interview since 2019. I had to balance looking at the screen and addressing the folks in the room. It started out well just as I've practiced. However, I was stump on questions like why should we pick you over someone else, what does success look like for you in this role, most people start from sales and work their way up to global/corporate- why are you going in the other direction, what do you hope to deliver in 18 months. I must’ve looked like a deer in headlights. They were asking me what my favorite color was and I answered 28. The interview took an hour vs the initial 45 mins meeting, which further portrayed how inefficient I was in conveying what they wanted to hear. They were challenging me and I wasn’t given them the right answers. I might have redeemed myself with the questions I’ve asked towards the end but felt defeated completely.

13) I was pretty sure I didn’t get the job at this time and shared my experiences with my work besties starting with I and sharing the questions that had stumped me and my tired and jet lag brain. “The why would they choose you is a personal branding question! You are supposed to showcase your strengths”, she said. Well it makes sense now, since you put it like that wishing that I had known that 20 minutes earlier. I took it as a learning opportunity.

14) The day after, S asked how the interview went. The corporate response for I bombed it is "This helped me understand the level of detail that is necessary to really standout in those interviews."

15) I caught up with N at the cafe and M sees me and waves at me walking in one direction. S comes walking from the opposite direction and they meet in the middle. S had asked how the interview went then and there…not awkward at all. (I found out about this later but somehow I had a feeling they were talking about me and shared my uneasiness feelings with N since it was too soon!)

16) S shared that he’s still interviewing and there’s a McKinsey consultant that they are also considering. Well that's nice… I thought. He/she will definitely be a thousand times more polish than me. S also recommended that I ask L to reach out to M to endorse me on my performance.

17) I’ve never done this before and had to double check with someone who has worked with HR to see if this is normal (I realized how risk adverse I am during this process). She convinced me that it's not only normal, but a necessity when applying internally. I wrote an email to L, having saw her and caught up with her in the office the day before.

18) L replied and to my surprise, said she was proud that I was asking for endorsement when most people shy away from it. She mentioned that she had already put in a good word for me.

19) I started applying for other jobs because I was coming to terms with not getting the job.

20) S follows up with M the following week. I’m embarrassed at this point because he was pushing for an answer and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have an answer because I got rejected.

21) 8 days from the interview date, I’m sitting at lunch with a neighboring finance team and shared my interview experience during this busy time at work. When I got to my desk, M pings me and asked if I have time to chat. I replied asap and he called me right away.

22) “I got some feedback for you,” he said. “I welcome any feedback you have,” I replied, having already made peace with myself that I will have to resume the job hunt. “ You got the role,” he said….and I haven’t stopped smiling since that moment.

I wanted to highlight the amount of effort it took to apply for one role. I could have easily gotten rejected and this process would have to occur again before I land on my next role.

I understand the power of networking, sponsorship and personal branding.

Although the future is exciting, I’m even more touched by the amount of people who are willing to help me, expecting nothing in return throughout this process- most notably, all of my sponsors ( S, L, A & E), E who is an informal mentor to me, D who consistently sent me job postings, AD who offered to help with interviewing, I connecting me to everyone she knows on the Global Oncology team. The countless number of coffee chats with the oncology marketing team who took time out of their day to educate me with nothing to gain.

I pinged I when I received the good news and she was so happy and excited for me. "You did all the magic," she said. "Not at all, it felt like a teamwork." It sure wasn't because of my stellar interviewing skills.

I’m so thankful for them and will continue to pay it forward.

As J and I agreed on, it's this cycle of good karma and positivity that will continue to expand.

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”

A

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

I took time to watch the first season of “All Work No Play”

And then, after that, because a) I have no self-control b) I felt like I was missing on a lot of stuff c) I just could listen to Sam and Liam fuck around and talk about themselves and their lives for forever ??? d) I saw a Tumblr post detailing the facts we learn on the original “All Work No Play” episodes and just could not believe what I was reading... I listened to the original “All Work No Play” podcast only.

So under the cut, details of what I thought of each episode, and the glorious run of the 15 episodes podcast that started it all, really. But yeah, contrary to my preferences, it does not follow chronological order. Which is fine, because if there was a way to describe this experience, it's "drunk delightful clusterfuck", in my humble opinion.

Sword fighting : the start is awkward, the middle is epic, the end is awkward. So yeah, on parr with the rest. I do love a good pun, so the whole knighting sequence was hilarious to me : "I knight you Ser...Pent, Ser... Cumvent, Ser... Vival." I love Will Friedle dry sense of humour and wish we've seen more of him. The mini-movie was awesome ! Put some swords into actors' hands and it does not matter if they were bad at sword fighting (they weren't !), they will sell it with yells and tragic death scenes.

Tap Dancing : Sam doing the worm in that stupid colorful costume... I was expecting no less of him. Liam has NO coordination, this is true, and again demonstrated it in this episode. Courtenay Taylor was a necessary addition, because she knew what she was doing, and her "mom jokes" were unexpected and dry and hilarious. Sam tells the story of the birthday of Macaulay Culkin, whom he went to school with, and the birthday was this : they were in the biggest toy store in New York, which was privatized, and for 10 minutes all the kids could run through the alleys and get any game and toys they could want. Liam, hearing this story of privilege, boiling inside : "It is super fucking hard to be your friend and love you. I try and I try, and everyday you make it a little bit harder."

Rage Room : Liam can run a half-marathon (I'm not surprised), Sam can't (I'm not surprised). Sam is a night pooper and Liam a morning pooper and they both like to take this time to destress. Liam looks at the stars alone at night when in his backyard (relatable). Sam does not feel stress in general because he's weird. Rage room was fun but not as cathartic as the name would suggest, I think it's because rage cannot be in a controlled environment. But Stephanie Sheh was so fun, and seeing the bass fish get destroyed was nice. Also Sam has no darkness inside of him, and maybe he has no soul ? I would watch Sam and Liam take ayahuasca in Brazil, tbh.

Goat Yoga : this is a thing. Call me stupid, but while I think Yoga is a real thing, I think Goat Yoga is a scam and brings NOTHING to Yoga. But the goats were cute !! We learn that Sam got high with Snoop Dogg on his first week in L.A., that Liam once got arrested because he was too busy rehearsing a scene with an object that was not even a fake gun outside and being too good at it to notice the neighbors were calling the cops. And I'm just going to leave this quote here : "She's an anal sniper. She aimed my ass right at the cameras."

Creature Makeup : I barely recognized Alex Ward from the Elden Ring one-shot (he was so good in it), he seems really talented in his specialty. We learn that Sam nearly got himself killed by locking himself in a coffin and discovering after someone was sitting on it, and that Liam's aunt once saw her long-gone father talk with her child in the rearview mirror. Sam and Liam do want to make out with each other while wearing makeup that makes them look like the other. After hearing Sam talk about how snot accumulated in his latex mask, I do not want to do Creature Makeup personally anymore. But I do want to see the movie for which they shot the trailer !

Fire Spinning : Ok ok ok, I am but a simple wee lesbian, Marisha doing the fire spinning did things to me. Just hearing Sam and Liam talk about how cool she is and how she always has the best style is wonderful. What we have learn : Sam technically committed apostasy since he converted to Catholicism but "crossed his fingers the whole time", and on his wedding night he hurt himself so much by stepping on glass (Jewish tradition) that he had to go to the ER after.

Mame Cabinet : Felicia Day !!! I love Felicia Day. We learn that Sam might have more of a chance to develop Alzheimer’s thanks to his t-rex arms. Why was this the most emotional episode yet ? I don't know but the hug Liam gave Sam almost made me cry.

The Hot Tub with, like 12 people : Ok this was just fun as hell. I want to do this with my friends all the time !!! We learn that Courtenay CAN do the cherry trick of tying it up which is HOT, the S'mores Martini takes a century to do, and that the censored nipples of Liam are Sam's pixel face. Thanks Twitch !!

The original podcast : They're so young (it starts at December 2012)! Travis and Laura are mentioned on the very first episode, and so's Liam fear of skydiving. Malaysia is mentioned on episode 2, also Kit Buss ! Episode 2 is where they decide to do a “Laura Bailey harp music”, after they talk about how great she is. Also Sam and Liam are excited because they've decided to play D&D together, and mention Matt and his glorious hair. Sam asks Liam to pick his race and class : "- Can I just be the worst ? - You could be... A gnome !" I CAN'T BELIEVE I HEARD IT LIVE, THE INCEPTION OF SCANLAN SHORTHALT. Episode 3 is the recap of said session of D&D, and you know what's better to hear them screaming into their mics that they loved it so much ? A FREAKING EXCERPT OF THE VERY FIRST SESSION THEY PLAYED TOGETHER ! (there was even Marisha, who was - if I understand - helping Matt and not playing). Episode 3 is also the episode where we learn that if they were abandoned on an island, Liam and Sam would start to fuck "immediately" according to Liam, "48 hours later" according to Sam, who wants to search for help and shelter before fucking. I love the guests they brought in occasionally : it's so good to hear Mary Elisabeth McGlynn, to discover Jennifer Hale who's chill and funny and Roger Craig Smith who seems insane and is also funny as fuck, and to hear Travis and Laura bickering sweetly. Episode 6 is where we learn the very cursed fact that Liam did gymnastics when he was young, and was pretty flexible, so much in fact that he "could reach it" (Sam, not understanding, at first : "You could reach it ? what do you mean..."). About episode 7 I think this is where their lives became much more complicated ; from this one, I just love the recurring "we promise we're gonna do a podcast next week !" only to have the episode after that dated 3 or 5 months later. I loved the episodes they did at conventions, the questions and horrific and convoluted scenarios they put their friends through were funny. Episode 8 is where we learn that Sam's first and only fight, that he WON, was over tickets for Dave Matthews Band. "- We'd obviously like to nail Travis Willingham. - Of course !" Poor Travis ; in the episode with Roger Craig Smith, when put through a horrific scenario of a plane crash in the snowy mountains, he says "I immediately eat Travis Willingham" to the choices offered by Sam and Liam. That does not seem to deter him, since he later admits All Work No Play is his favorite podcast in the world, and he has listened to all the episodes. They do talk a little bit about Critical Role once they've launched the ship in 2015, mainly how is has changed their lives already. By Episode 13, they're not sure of what the format is anymore, and they nearly start reading their e-mails live. We learn that Liam has worked with Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford, and how he was very turned on by Harrison Ford. He also likes Gwendoline Christie “because she seems like she could wreck me, with weapons.” (fair). We learn that when Travis was courting Laura, he wanted to be on her level, so he read the books she was reading at the time... which were the Twilight books : “I've read. Every. Single one of the Twilight Books ! And because there were werewolves, at the end... I kinda liked it.” He went by himself to go see the third movie ; Laura wouldn't go with him because she thought the movies were so bad. By the way, the sound effect for Travis is SO ridiculous, and retrospectively I'm laughing so much more because of Travis Willingham's Yeehaw Game Ranch. Episode 15 is really the end : the show has no format anymore, it's either them reviewing cat videos or them doing podcasts recommendations to each other. But Liam and Sam still talk about their kids with incredulity and so much love. We learn that Liam wants his daughter to learn how to kill a man, to protect her, because he knows “98,7% men are terrible”. We end with a cliffhanger : “Hey, Liam, are we gonna get tattoos ?” Really, what more could you want ?

Overall, the podcast holds a charm from the not-so-distant past who is incomparable. But the VIDEO revival can allow so much more ! They did so many activities, some of them dangerous. Also the editing of the videos is a plus, because it allows things like "let's put cards on the screen to directly contradict what bullshit Sam and Liam are saying", or "Yeah, FAO Schwartz is definitely gone". I'm really glad I discovered another piece of the house that is Critical Role.

[thelandscapingemployeetrap]

Lawn Care vs Landscaping - Can You Do Both Full-time_ Live with MACK LawnCare.

 Lawn care and landscaping each have their own specialties, but can we do both? Being an expert in every area as an entrepreneur, no matter how big or small. Does it really seem possible to handle both simultaneously? 

That's why we invited Mack from MACK Landscaping & Lawn Care to share his methods with us. We'll discuss not only how he manages both fields, but also what he's learned over the years as a business owner.  If you are just starting out, he will share some tips that can be extremely useful to you. 

There is a lot to learn from this interview, so don't miss it . .

"If you talk confidently, then you can charge anything."

- Mack

  Topics Covered: 

  00:30 - “For me. Landscaping is mulch, shrub trimming, that type of stuff, the maintenance type things, and in small, like small planning type thing. So that's what we do.”

In this interview, Mack discusses how he runs his business and which area he specializes in.

3:12 - “Let's just say it's $500 $500.05 $100. Well, we just cut that $1,500 into monthly payments, and add that to the mowing price. So now if you're mowing, I don't know what that math would be. It's 32 weeks for 10 - 30 bucks. So we'd add an extra $30 On to the mowing price. And then that gets them. The shrubs touched anytime there was anything out of order. So then you never have to come and do a whole job. It's just you come to touch up the stuff. They still pay the same price if just carried out over the season. Right. So big lump sum payment.” 

He explains how they quantify maintenance, as well as how much they charge and how they schedule their work.

15:05 - “You have to be super detailed when the state is doing their investigation because every restraint or every injury or every car accident gets investigated. And you have to write it out like a police report. Basically, I ain't no cop or nothing, but I learned very well how to write out because the state will scrutinize you, then they'll bring you in, and then you'll get interviewed like real people. And there are real consequences if somebody actually got hurt or something like that.”

Keeping your business detailed is essential, Mack advises.

19:06 - “I've been telling people this for a long time because everyone wants to talk about door hangers and fucking yard signs and all of that. If you don't get on Google, you are shooting yourself in the foot. You're really killing yourself. All of my lead generations come from Google.”

Mac shares his marketing strategies for getting customers in faster and getting good ones. Visibility is key for him. You can make a video, post it on social media, and share it with the world. It will serve as a portfolio for you.

20:46 - “You have had to, in order to do all of this, you've had to watch some videos, you had to listen to something and everything like you got to get a little bit of knowledge. And then you can talk confidently.” 

Whenever you talk confidently, you have the ability to charge whatever you wish. Since the customer does not know the actual price, Mack explains that sounding confident and firm will make it more credible.

  23:52 - “When you tell them yes confidently we do this full time every single day. This is All we do, and so I can literally go tell the customer I'll be back in 15 minutes hop in the chair, can pull up my CRM, and make a well-worded highly detailed quote, like you were saying, or negotiate it verbally right on the spot. I try not to do that in a higher ticket job because you can make a mistake like you want to cross every T and dot every I, it's a little tiny thing that if you're not sure, and you're like, Oh, I'll cross that bridge when we get there. That could be $1,200 You're leaving on the table, or if cost you $500. So, confidence goes a long way. Because the customers can feel it, whether they can articulate it or not, it resonates.”

There's no way for the customer to know whether you do this on the side or once in a while. You should have the confidence to provide the customer with your best quote. You can get a big deal easily that way. Keep your head up and be confident.

27:26  - “And a good salesman will go in there. And they'll find the biggest window and only clean a portion of it, or the only clean one section of like the window that has the big thing, they'll just clean that one. And now the homeowner is sitting there looking at that, like, oh my god, now they have to do something. So they either got to clean it themselves or now you sold them, right? It's like the vacuum cleaner salesman that used to come to my grandma's house all the time, they would come and my grandma always wanted to buy this damn vacuum cleaner, because she gets to see at work, they will put this little white thing in here. And then they will use this hose and then have some black sheet on it. And she's like, look, it works.”

A person automatically places faith in you when you demonstrate your ability to do something. Mack's philosophy remains the same to this day.

34:05 - “I don't think about things very long. Like, I can't let me I don't know if I can, how I can explain this. But my attention span is sometimes in the middle of a conversation. I'll just forget what we were talking about. It happens all the time. So when someone tells me, No, I'm like, it doesn't matter. You know, that's just we're gonna get the ball back. And guess what? Because I set everything up. The ball comes in an email, like 15,16 a day. So what the hell is one “No” me you had someone you say the people dealing with confidence.”

When Mac sends proposals to clients, he sometimes forgets that people say no to him.  No matter how many rejections he receives, he keeps going.

    Key Takeaways 

“If you want to make more money in your lawn and landscape business, first you got to get customers but you got to increase the average ticket value of customers by raising your prices and knowing your worth you got to increase the frequency of transactions which is done more for them more often. How do you do that you got to have a customer follow-up and lead generation referral system in place, you got to do email marketing, you got to do voicemail blasts,s and stay on top of mine, and constantly follow and communicate up with them and turn that customer into a client into a raving fan. So that way like they're locked in and then get referrals. So you build that out by having just a little bit of strategy but being proactive and consistent in how you do it.” - Keith Kalfas

“If you show up every single week and you're consistent, you get people to give you some faster reviews and you get yourself on Google you create a website and have your estimate key right at the top so they can get it estimated immediately you get yourself a real business line, not yourself. Because you'll never know who's calling, you gotta get a real business phone. And then you gotta have your website linked to your Google when you let sign up all of these things. And then also on Facebook and Instagram, you have to be on them posted pictures of your work, them because this is your portfolio. If you don't hashtag yourself, people are not going to see your work. If they can't see your work, they can't validate that you're even good. And once they validate that you're good, you close the deal, they're going to do all of the validating that they need to do before you ever get in front of them or talk to them”. - Mack

Connect with Mack

Website: https://macklandscaping412.com/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@mack_landscaping412 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063523690624 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUwROA0QmBFDxZ6DOuNQLCw?sub_confirmation=1

Connect with Keith

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/keithkalfas/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thelandscapingemployeetrap Website: https://www.keithkalfas.com/resources Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@keith-kalfas

    Resouces and Websites: 

🙋♂️Get My Free Landscaping Business Startup Video Series Here👇  Here https://www.keithkalfas.com/Landscaping-Series

Landscaping Course https://keith-kalfas.mykajabi.com/store/8bFERMcs

LANDSCAPING BUSINESS  How to Guide: https://www.keithkalfas.com/16

Get Jobber: https://getjobber.com/im/ambassador-referral/?gspk=a2VpdGhrYWxmYXM4NTIx&gsxid=Rs6pwtznLDcs

Get Ballard: https://www.ballard-inc.com/

Check out this episode!

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday... Just a trim

TGIWednesday News

I’ve been seeing the same hair stylist for awhile now and after decades I believe I know what works for me and what doesn’t.  How many of us have described to a stylist what we want in color or cut or style in glorious detail and while they seem to be enthralled with what we’re saying, they’re probably thinking, “Yeah ok, now I’ll cut it the way I want to”.  Needless to say, we wound up way too short and she said at the end, “I’ll see you in 5 weeks!”  More like Spring I thought to myself through a struggling smile.  I am fishing for you and I to both to be clear and succinct in our communications.  I also see us infusing more positive into our believe, think, know and feel concepts about everything.  Wishing you and yours the very best of this holiday season and beyond.  Feeling "extra crispy" from holiday stress?  Schedule a 15 minute tune-up or a 30-minute transformative session today!  www.jimmymackhealingshop.com

TGIWednesday Download

~ BEING MORE DIRECT ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be more direct and precise in all of my communications.  I know when, where, how and why to speak clearly and with enough detail to accomplish my goals.  I am ready willing and able to find my inner voice and to speak up for myself so that I am heard, valued and achieve my goals here and now.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is. Wishing you and yours the best of the holiday season and beyond so that the rest of your life will be the best of your life because you’ll be making a little progress each and every day.

*NEW*  The Fish Market

M

y Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Artwork This is energy artist Julia's interpretation of My Liquid Fish in a personal transformation painting. Available 11'x14", 16"x20" and 24"x30" View the print here Use discount code JMK2 to get 40% off the print.

My Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Pendant Created by the energy artist Julia - this would make for outstanding gift for yourself or a loved one.  View the pendant here Use discount code JMK1 to get 40% off.  

Healing and grounding Mats for all occasions.  Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one!  >>>> View Grounding Mats here Enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at Checkout for Free Shipping

Terahertz Frequency Wand If you haven't heard of this healing technology yet, you soon will. Sandy purchased a wand in October and got these results in the first week. This is the most affordable wand/blower we've seen out there, plus w/code save 10% Use discount code: TSG10 View Terahertz Wand here **We are NOT involved in the order or sales process of any of these items, please contact them directly. 

Looking for a last minute gift idea?? We now offer digital Gift Certificates for gift-giving. Gift a free session, daily prayers or clearing audios/videos to someone special.  You simply select the denomination that matches the gift you'd like to give from the options on this page amounts from $19 - $225.

Buy GCs here!

Below is list of over 35 titles in the MyBeliefWorks Clearings audio series, monthly Zoom clearing call replays and Guided Energy Processess. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

Lucky 777  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

DECEMBER 21ST "Today I will remember that some days are better than others for all of us. Each day can rise and fall with good or bad news on a single text, phone call, email or conversation, so today I will start it with a prayer and breathe through it in meditative silence remembering that in either good or bad, brevity is the key!"

From the Fish Box

    Hi Jimmy.  My daughter just got hired!!!!!!!.  She is a dental receptionist. Full time!  Will start in 2 weeks after vetting.  Funny note.  The dental office is close to where she got married.  She can look out and see the fountain in the lake where her photos were taken. Would like to schedule an additional appointment to assist her in being successful. Thank you immensely. - Jeanne in California

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY JANUARY 13TH  | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook��ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

Module 1 has about 3 hours of core material and Module 2 contains about 8 hours.  Most people go through the course and take the test within a month but can be as fast as a week depending on how quickly you work through the pdfs, audios, videos, and testing.  There is also many hours of OPTIONAL reference material.  

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday... Just a trim

TGIWednesday News

I’ve been seeing the same hair stylist for awhile now and after decades I believe I know what works for me and what doesn’t.  How many of us have described to a stylist what we want in color or cut or style in glorious detail and while they seem to be enthralled with what we’re saying, they’re probably thinking, “Yeah ok, now I’ll cut it the way I want to”.  Needless to say, we wound up way too short and she said at the end, “I’ll see you in 5 weeks!”  More like Spring I thought to myself through a struggling smile.  I am fishing for you and I to both to be clear and succinct in our communications.  I also see us infusing more positive into our believe, think, know and feel concepts about everything.  Wishing you and yours the very best of this holiday season and beyond.  Feeling "extra crispy" from holiday stress?  Schedule a 15 minute tune-up or a 30-minute transformative session today!  www.jimmymackhealingshop.com

TGIWednesday Download

~ BEING MORE DIRECT ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be more direct and precise in all of my communications.  I know when, where, how and why to speak clearly and with enough detail to accomplish my goals.  I am ready willing and able to find my inner voice and to speak up for myself so that I am heard, valued and achieve my goals here and now.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is. Wishing you and yours the best of the holiday season and beyond so that the rest of your life will be the best of your life because you’ll be making a little progress each and every day.

*NEW*  The Fish Market

M

y Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Artwork This is energy artist Julia's interpretation of My Liquid Fish in a personal transformation painting. Available 11'x14", 16"x20" and 24"x30" View the print here Use discount code JMK2 to get 40% off the print.

My Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Pendant Created by the energy artist Julia - this would make for outstanding gift for yourself or a loved one.  View the pendant here Use discount code JMK1 to get 40% off.  

Healing and grounding Mats for all occasions.  Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one!  >>>> View Grounding Mats here Enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at Checkout for Free Shipping

Terahertz Frequency Wand If you haven't heard of this healing technology yet, you soon will. Sandy purchased a wand in October and got these results in the first week. This is the most affordable wand/blower we've seen out there, plus w/code save 10% Use discount code: TSG10 View Terahertz Wand here **We are NOT involved in the order or sales process of any of these items, please contact them directly. 

Looking for a last minute gift idea?? We now offer digital Gift Certificates for gift-giving. Gift a free session, daily prayers or clearing audios/videos to someone special.  You simply select the denomination that matches the gift you'd like to give from the options on this page amounts from $19 - $225.

Buy GCs here!

Below is list of over 35 titles in the MyBeliefWorks Clearings audio series, monthly Zoom clearing call replays and Guided Energy Processess. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

Lucky 777  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

DECEMBER 21ST "Today I will remember that some days are better than others for all of us. Each day can rise and fall with good or bad news on a single text, phone call, email or conversation, so today I will start it with a prayer and breathe through it in meditative silence remembering that in either good or bad, brevity is the key!"

From the Fish Box

    Hi Jimmy.  My daughter just got hired!!!!!!!.  She is a dental receptionist. Full time!  Will start in 2 weeks after vetting.  Funny note.  The dental office is close to where she got married.  She can look out and see the fountain in the lake where her photos were taken. Would like to schedule an additional appointment to assist her in being successful. Thank you immensely. - Jeanne in California

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY JANUARY 13TH  | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

Module 1 has about 3 hours of core material and Module 2 contains about 8 hours.  Most people go through the course and take the test within a month but can be as fast as a week depending on how quickly you work through the pdfs, audios, videos, and testing.  There is also many hours of OPTIONAL reference material.  

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday... Just a trim

TGIWednesday News

I’ve been seeing the same hair stylist for awhile now and after decades I believe I know what works for me and what doesn’t.  How many of us have described to a stylist what we want in color or cut or style in glorious detail and while they seem to be enthralled with what we’re saying, they’re probably thinking, “Yeah ok, now I’ll cut it the way I want to”.  Needless to say, we wound up way too short and she said at the end, “I’ll see you in 5 weeks!”  More like Spring I thought to myself through a struggling smile.  I am fishing for you and I to both to be clear and succinct in our communications.  I also see us infusing more positive into our believe, think, know and feel concepts about everything.  Wishing you and yours the very best of this holiday season and beyond.  Feeling "extra crispy" from holiday stress?  Schedule a 15 minute tune-up or a 30-minute transformative session today!  www.jimmymackhealingshop.com

TGIWednesday Download

~ BEING MORE DIRECT ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be more direct and precise in all of my communications.  I know when, where, how and why to speak clearly and with enough detail to accomplish my goals.  I am ready willing and able to find my inner voice and to speak up for myself so that I am heard, valued and achieve my goals here and now.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is. Wishing you and yours the best of the holiday season and beyond so that the rest of your life will be the best of your life because you’ll be making a little progress each and every day.

*NEW*  The Fish Market

M

y Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Artwork This is energy artist Julia's interpretation of My Liquid Fish in a personal transformation painting. Available 11'x14", 16"x20" and 24"x30" View the print here Use discount code JMK2 to get 40% off the print.

My Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Pendant Created by the energy artist Julia - this would make for outstanding gift for yourself or a loved one.  View the pendant here Use discount code JMK1 to get 40% off.  

Healing and grounding Mats for all occasions.  Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one!  >>>> View Grounding Mats here Enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at Checkout for Free Shipping

Terahertz Frequency Wand If you haven't heard of this healing technology yet, you soon will. Sandy purchased a wand in October and got these results in the first week. This is the most affordable wand/blower we've seen out there, plus w/code save 10% Use discount code: TSG10 View Terahertz Wand here **We are NOT involved in the order or sales process of any of these items, please contact them directly. 

Looking for a last minute gift idea?? We now offer digital Gift Certificates for gift-giving. Gift a free session, daily prayers or clearing audios/videos to someone special.  You simply select the denomination that matches the gift you'd like to give from the options on this page amounts from $19 - $225.

Buy GCs here!

Below is list of over 35 titles in the MyBeliefWorks Clearings audio series, monthly Zoom clearing call replays and Guided Energy Processess. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

Lucky 777  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

DECEMBER 21ST "Today I will remember that some days are better than others for all of us. Each day can rise and fall with good or bad news on a single text, phone call, email or conversation, so today I will start it with a prayer and breathe through it in meditative silence remembering that in either good or bad, brevity is the key!"

From the Fish Box

    Hi Jimmy.  My daughter just got hired!!!!!!!.  She is a dental receptionist. Full time!  Will start in 2 weeks after vetting.  Funny note.  The dental office is close to where she got married.  She can look out and see the fountain in the lake where her photos were taken. Would like to schedule an additional appointment to assist her in being successful. Thank you immensely. - Jeanne in California

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY JANUARY 13TH  | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

Module 1 has about 3 hours of core material and Module 2 contains about 8 hours.  Most people go through the course and take the test within a month but can be as fast as a week depending on how quickly you work through the pdfs, audios, videos, and testing.  There is also many hours of OPTIONAL reference material.  

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday... Just a trim

TGIWednesday News

I’ve been seeing the same hair stylist for awhile now and after decades I believe I know what works for me and what doesn’t.  How many of us have described to a stylist what we want in color or cut or style in glorious detail and while they seem to be enthralled with what we’re saying, they’re probably thinking, “Yeah ok, now I’ll cut it the way I want to”.  Needless to say, we wound up way too short and she said at the end, “I’ll see you in 5 weeks!”  More like Spring I thought to myself through a struggling smile.  I am fishing for you and I to both to be clear and succinct in our communications.  I also see us infusing more positive into our believe, think, know and feel concepts about everything.  Wishing you and yours the very best of this holiday season and beyond.  Feeling "extra crispy" from holiday stress?  Schedule a 15 minute tune-up or a 30-minute transformative session today!  www.jimmymackhealingshop.com

TGIWednesday Download

~ BEING MORE DIRECT ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can be more direct and precise in all of my communications.  I know when, where, how and why to speak clearly and with enough detail to accomplish my goals.  I am ready willing and able to find my inner voice and to speak up for myself so that I am heard, valued and achieve my goals here and now.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is. Wishing you and yours the best of the holiday season and beyond so that the rest of your life will be the best of your life because you’ll be making a little progress each and every day.

*NEW*  The Fish Market

M

y Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Artwork This is energy artist Julia's interpretation of My Liquid Fish in a personal transformation painting. Available 11'x14", 16"x20" and 24"x30" View the print here Use discount code JMK2 to get 40% off the print.

My Liquid Fish - The Miracle Fish Pendant Created by the energy artist Julia - this would make for outstanding gift for yourself or a loved one.  View the pendant here Use discount code JMK1 to get 40% off.  

Healing and grounding Mats for all occasions.  Yes even Lily my cat uses the pet one!  >>>> View Grounding Mats here Enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at Checkout for Free Shipping

Terahertz Frequency Wand If you haven't heard of this healing technology yet, you soon will. Sandy purchased a wand in October and got these results in the first week. This is the most affordable wand/blower we've seen out there, plus w/code save 10% Use discount code: TSG10 View Terahertz Wand here **We are NOT involved in the order or sales process of any of these items, please contact them directly. 

Looking for a last minute gift idea?? We now offer digital Gift Certificates for gift-giving. Gift a free session, daily prayers or clearing audios/videos to someone special.  You simply select the denomination that matches the gift you'd like to give from the options on this page amounts from $19 - $225.

Buy GCs here!

Below is list of over 35 titles in the MyBeliefWorks Clearings audio series, monthly Zoom clearing call replays and Guided Energy Processess. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Receiving Abundance Freedom from Abuse Overcoming Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Healing Experiencing Bountiful Harvest Igniting Creative Spark Discovering Your Destiny Daily GPS Reset Releasing Dark Energies/Fears Crossroads -Decision Making Diet & Exercise Support Education & Learning Support Empowering the Empath Healing Family Relationships Attracting a Financial Windfall Gold Coin: More Money in All Forms Joy of Money Healing Body Disorders

The 5 Anchors Process

The Purple Rain Process

The Magical Golden Key

Lucky 777  Mental Stress Relieving Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition Easing IRS Stress & Taxes Finding Love & Romance Positive Money Mindset Moving Forward from Past Chronic Pain Relief Pet Healing Support Pro$perity Unlocked Improving Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling with Ease Work & Career Success Weight Loss Support Restoring Youth & Vitality

View Full Zoom Replay Collection 

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

DECEMBER 21ST "Today I will remember that some days are better than others for all of us. Each day can rise and fall with good or bad news on a single text, phone call, email or conversation, so today I will start it with a prayer and breathe through it in meditative silence remembering that in either good or bad, brevity is the key!"

From the Fish Box

    Hi Jimmy.  My daughter just got hired!!!!!!!.  She is a dental receptionist. Full time!  Will start in 2 weeks after vetting.  Funny note.  The dental office is close to where she got married.  She can look out and see the fountain in the lake where her photos were taken. Would like to schedule an additional appointment to assist her in being successful. Thank you immensely. - Jeanne in California

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Come See Me in the Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions. Get on the schedule NOW! FRIDAY JANUARY 13TH  | 10-4pm  Please call their office directly at  ?? (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes. 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!  SUBSCRIPTION AUTO-RENEWAL ($95/mo - save $5) Purchase a recurring subscription  Update your prayers monthly. You can cancel or pause anytime.

Use PayPal for subscription Click here  Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

30-Days of Prayer - $99

Self-paced Online Courses Available Anchors Away Masterclass & Mastery/Practitioner Certification

MEMBERS LOGIN HERE

We recently launched our new ANCHORS AWAY MASTERCLASS and what has come through from Spirit is truly a game-changer in the way we can ALL now clear off evil, dark energies, aliens and anomalies in a deep, profound and lasting way.   

I recorded a video to tell you more about how you can get access to my brand new Anchors Away Masterclass so you can learn how to protect and clear the 5 Anchors & more.

Watch the Video Now

MLF MASTERY LEVEL 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime!

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

Learn About Certification Here

Module 1 has about 3 hours of core material and Module 2 contains about 8 hours.  Most people go through the course and take the test within a month but can be as fast as a week depending on how quickly you work through the pdfs, audios, videos, and testing.  There is also many hours of OPTIONAL reference material.  

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Search FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) ??? Transformational Healing of Body, Mind? & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!? ? Access the NEW MLF Online Training Audio MP3 Downloads? and books? to improve your life! Get Certified in ?My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Healing and Grounding Mats ...enter code: MyLiquidFishfs at checkout for Free shipping! Shop for ?Supplements ? http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2022 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[dazzlegradual]

clutching desperately to the acarine green (some time travel)

this is an old, edited, semi-fictionalized account my teen years. the quoted journal entries are all real, as are the dates. but the other details are just for lolz. I wrote this a long time ago and wish I could give 17 year old me a big hug.

______

In the age of the Anthropocene, there is nothing more interesting than the teenage girl’s bedroom. When I clean my room, I become an anthropologist in girlhood. Dusting and searching through layer after layer, I unearth former versions of myself hidden beneath the rubble of socks, eyeshadow pallets, and CD’s I burned for friends and never gave to them. What do these former versions of me mean? What can I learn about current-me through these earlier manifestations? Does anyone else do this? (Everyone else must do this).

Cleaning one’s bedroom shouldn’t realistically take longer than twenty minutes, but that guesstimate severely underestimates my talents for diversion.

My distraction this particular go-around is my old journal. I like to think of myself as a girl who journals, but I can never keep at it. I resolved a few years ago that I would instead only write in the journal once or twice a year. I pick the journal and admire the cover. It’s really quite beautiful. I think I like holding the journal more than writing in it: adorned with roses and creamy white pages, and it has its own ribbon bookmark. I open it and read through some of my own entries:

November 26, 2010 “I never know how to begin these because I don’t know how to address myself. I’m not talking to myself. Am I talking to myself? I don’t know. This all sounds stupid. I don’t need to apprehend every possible thing that might happen, or every perfect potential thought before I think them. Well. Now I don’t really feel like writing, to be honest. My walls are light green right now and I REALLY LIKE IT. Okay, that should be sufficient to fit the whole page. Bye!”

That was right after I painted my bedroom. Before the beautiful light green which it remains to this day, the room was a vibrant, wonderful yellow. Everyone thought it was too bright, and my mom claimed it hurt her eyes, but I thought it was perfect. It felt like my room was made of sunlight. Now, the room is green, and I hope it remains this way forever. Next entry.

April 12, 2011 “I am so tired of being a sophomore. It is really just a blah year. Nothing happens. Next year is going to be so much harder but like it’ll be fine. Also we broke up and I am so HAPPEEEEEEEEEE about it.”

Should I tell my 15-year-old self that [redacted] and I have made out twice since then? We’ve been drunk both times, I don’t know if that makes it better or worse. What my 15 year old self doesn’t realize yet, though, is that all the other boys are awful kissers. And [redacted] is comparatively a much, much better kisser than all of them.

I flip through a few more entries. I used the journal pretty regularly throughout my sophomore year, actually. Through almost all of December. I wrote how I was veering more towards indie rock than pop punk. I think I discovered Belle and Sebastian that winter. My junior year entries are also pretty long.

It’s so weird, I only wrote these a year ago, but I can’t remember writing any of these full pages. Realizing this, I feel a dull panic run down my spine. Why can’t I remember writing this? Doesn't weed affect memory loss? It must. My memory usually works better than this. I shouldn’t be forgetting things that happened just a year ago. I shouldn’t be partying so much. All the campfire smoke and cheap vodka going straight to my head. It’s going to make me fucking stupid. I flip to a new page and grab a pencil off my desk, and sit on the floor. I have no idea what I want to write. I look so ugly when I sit like this — hunched over my journal. I shouldn’t journal, I look awful. But I like journaling, I should like journaling.

What should I write? What do I think about? What do I spend my time doing?

I take stock of myself. I’m in old pajama shorts and a t-shirt from camp last summer. My hair is oily and I need to wash it — the bleached split ends obvious to me as I sit hunched over. Bare feet. Light blue painted toes. Surrounded by my possessions. All my earthly things. What do I feel? What do I really feel? I feel gross, for one. I hate how I look. I hate that I can’t tell anyone that I hate myself sometimes. I hate feeling like this — like a fake person. I hate being 17 and like this is supposed to be the most important time of my life. I don’t like myself, but it’s bad to not like myself. I want to like myself. I feel exhausted. When I rub my eyes with the back of my hands, my eyelids are slick with oil and I forget I’m still wearing mascara and it flakes into my eyes. It feels awful and gunky. I blink at the ceiling until the feeling goes away. I have to do this at least once a day. I hate that I’m like this. I pull my hands back and and, with loose focus, stare at the dark grey smudges from my eyeliner on my fingertips, disgusted. I hold them up to the lamp and focalize on a single, glittering streak of black eyeliner on my hand.

I can feel the familiar, tight, tingling sensation in my hands and my jaw feels taught — the sure sign I'm about to throw up. I don't want to. I'm not even that anxious. Part of me wants to. Most of me doesn’t. It will make me feel better, but then it won’t, and I’ll just be left crying on the cold bathroom tile floor and turn on the shower to cover the noise. I need to shower anyways, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Stop it, I think. I pick up the journal.

My fingers are sticking to the page I have open in the journal. My hands are cold, clammy, and sweaty. God damn it, I don’t want to have a panic attack. All this over a fucking journal. Over getting mascara in my eyes. Get it together. I wring out my hands a few times, take a few deep breaths, date the entry.

December 6, 2012 “There’s nothing I wouldn’t give to finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I hate my body, and I hate my abject, ongoing disgust at my own form. I wish I could inhabit this body and feel nothing. But I feel everything.”

I read the journal entry over once, and then twice. What I wrote is just fine, but I don’t feel like crying anymore. I stand, stretch, and finish cleaning my room. I don’t feel like an archeologist anymore, or whatever. I just want it to be done.