#also im really proud of his face shape here

[tarutaruga]

madara sketch, also testing out CLIP STUDIO timelapse feature

[hwaflms]

HAPPY NOW? ★ [ j.jh ]

your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.

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[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader

[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au

[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)

[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!

[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33

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six months.

you haven't seen this door in six months.

it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.

your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.

or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.

the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.

pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.

more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.

finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.

"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.

now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-

"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"

if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.

standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.

jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).

his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.

apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.

everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.

while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?

"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"

you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.

you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.

c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-

"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.

jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-

"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"

you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.

he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.

"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."

you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.

he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.

the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"

"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."

✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧

the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.

jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.

the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.

he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.

"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.

"let's just get this over with."

with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.

within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."

you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."

your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.

you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."

"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.

jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.

while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".

"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.

somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.

you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.

you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.

you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.

she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.

he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"

"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.

sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."

once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"

you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.

it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.

you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.

finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".

wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."

"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."

in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.

"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"

you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.

of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.

the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.

snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.

jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.

you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.

while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"

he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."

it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.

he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.

from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."

"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"

realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"

"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"

"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.

by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."

you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.

the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.

"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"

your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.

after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.

jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.

you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.

hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.

"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.

"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"

you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."

jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.

"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.

this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.

you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.

it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.

at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"

she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."

little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".

"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.

your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."

the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.

"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."

you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."

with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."

you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."

as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"

it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.

the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.

you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.

your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.

you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.

"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.

"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."

he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.

he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."

if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."

your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"

smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.

but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.

you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.

"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"

he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”

you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.

"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.

you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.

you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.

any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.

upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.

"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.

she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.

"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"

this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.

the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.

the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.

your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.

you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.

you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.

she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."

she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.

when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"

oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".

"what do you mean, cutie?"

you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.

she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"

"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"

"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"

you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–

"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."

you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.

it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.

once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.

the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.

ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."

he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.

"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.

"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."

the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.

the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.

part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.

you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.

"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."

he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.

but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."

he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.

you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.

"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."

perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.

"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."

you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.

"jaehyun, i know, i just–"

"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"

there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.

"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."

the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.

the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.

you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.

"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."

that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.

"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.

"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair,"  it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."

he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."

"i know, jaehyun-"

"then, tell me."

you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.

"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."

your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.

"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.

"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.

"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."

his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.

the car moves so slow it may as well be still but  when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."

you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.

"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.

"what do you mean?"

"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."

you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."

he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.

he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."

you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.

it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."

your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.

"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."

it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."

like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."

"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"

he nods.

"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."

he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."

you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."

you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.

"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.

it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?

you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."

he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"

you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"

you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.

jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.

"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."

he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.

not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.

he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.

"so–"

"well–"

you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.

"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.

"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."

he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"

maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."

you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.

"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."

thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"

"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."

there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.

"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"

"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."

you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.

"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."

it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."

he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.

"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."

"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"

you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."

the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.

"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.

his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."

silence.

you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.

you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.

your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."

you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.

the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."

the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."

you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.

he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"

you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.

you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”

keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.

with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."

his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.

his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.

if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.

nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."

you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."

he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.

"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."

he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”

"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"

"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.

the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.

you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.

you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.

"i think i'd love to come in."

[jaylaxies]

PING! WE SHOULD FUCK

PAIRING: jake x fem!reader

GENRE: smut, fwb, unprotected sex (don’t be silly wrap your willy), fluff, angst, fingering, choking, spanking, masturbation, cunnilingus, mentions of nicknames and food, jake has a twin sister, lmk if i missed anything!

SYNOPSIS: trying out tinder was a random thought you had, not expecting to see your best friend’s twin brother there. feeling bold, you swiped right on his profile, never once thinking that he’d do the same and text you right after, to which, you didn’t reply, well knowing that you’ll have to face him the next day for your sleepover with his sister at their place.

WC: 6.5k+ words

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, angels <3 im back with a jake fic! the idea popped up in my mind so randomly but i had to write it down even though i rushed it a bit :3 i hope you guys like it! all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! it keeps me motivated <3 i hope you guys enjoy it! iloveyou all <3

“Five days? You're kidding me,” your friend deadpanned, blowing air on her fingers as she finished applying another coat of nail polish on her perfectly oval shaped nails.

“I swear! It's been so long, I really need to get laid,” you sighed, painting your own nails with a pout on your face.

To say you were a sex addict would be an understatement. You had recently gotten out of your friends with benefits relationship, simply because you got bored of his ways, it lasted for about three weeks — which was a long time. Nevertheless, you wanted something entirely new this time.

“I fucked Sunghoon yesterday,” Jia spoke up with a proud smirk on her face as you gasped.

Park Sunghoon, the best friend of Jake Sim, who was also Jia's twin brother. It was bound to happen someday, their eye-fucking wasn't very subtle, however, you didn't know she would go on with it. That's exactly what made it more exciting.

“No way on earth you just fucked your brother's best friend,” you chuckled, “that's something straight out of a fanfiction. Scandalous.”

She giggled, telling you all about her experience from the past night and you teased her for scoring that big dick. Meanwhile, you also kept thinking about what to do with your situation. Some options you had would include going to a party and having a random hookup with a stranger, or, reaching out to one of your old flings — which you wouldn't do in your sane mind.

“So, what's your plan next?” she asked you, lying down on her bed as you proceeded to lie down next to her.

“No clue actually. Maybe I'll have to take the matter in my hands for now,” you mumbled, staring at the ceiling.

“Does that mean—” she started.

“—the pink vibrator,” you both spoke out loud, giggling right after.

That was your best plan for tonight, since you were in no mood to go and fish for new boy toys.

Blowing a flying kiss to your best friend, you stepped out of her room, running into something solid, however, it wasn't a wall, rather, it felt muscular. A hand coming to your waist, successfully preventing you from falling down, your eyes widening in the process. You stepped back as the heavy scent of musky perfume invaded your senses, looking up to see none other than Jia's brother.

You haven't exclusively interacted with him before, he had been mysterious ever since you first met him, through Jia, of course. Other than the mere nods of acknowledgement, and a few stares here and there, you hadn't ever spoken a word to him, except for that one time you had thanked him for holding open the door for you.

This would mark as your second interaction, “I'm sorry,” you spoke before taking another step back, looking at his face.

Parted hair, hollow cheeks and plump lips upturned into a smirk.

“Don't be. I enjoyed it, babygirl.” He winked before leaving you standing there dumbfounded, the door of his room closing as you tried to comprehend what had happened seconds earlier.

You'd be lying if you say that you didn't find it attractive. The result of the same being your legs wide open, paired with the same pink vibrator which had become your best mate from the past four days. You unbutton your blouse slowly, getting rid of your bra and cupping your tits, closing your eyes as you thought about being touched, a soft moan escaping your mouth as the vibrator stimulated your clitoris just how you liked it.

You whimpered, legs shaking as you pinched your nipples lightly, biting your lips to conceal your moans. The feeling was euphoric, also paired with distress as no matter what you did, you couldn't reach your high. You groaned, replacing your vibrator with your fingers, rubbing soft circles on your wetness, mind going back to what had happened a few hours back, the image of Jake's face popped into your mind and you didn't fight it.

Instead, you proceed to insert a finger inside your hole, gasping as you imagined it to be his thick finger, soon inserting another digit, pumping in and out while bucking your hips to meet your fingers, curling them inside of you. The highly vivid images of Jake doing those things to you helped a lot more than your vibrator did, a knot forming in your stomach as you increased your pace, thighs clenching as you wondered how deep his accented voice would sound in a situation similar to this.

With rigged breathing and shaking legs, your back arched, toes curling when you moaned out Jake's name, reaching your high with the release of your fingers being coated with your juices.

With weak legs, you stood up after a solid of five minutes, getting into the shower after turning the geyser on, letting the hot water droplets soak you up, you sighed, realizing what you'd done a few minutes back. Leaning against the cold shower tiles, you gently rubbed your body with a loofah, shaking your head.

You admit that it was the best orgasm you've had in two weeks, however, the fact that you had cum to the thought of your best friend's brother is what made your heart beat faster than normal.

With your bathrobe on and your hair still wet, you sat down on your bed with no intention of wearing your clothes just yet. You opened your Instagram only to come across Lee Heeseung's post, whereby he showed off his new girlfriend. Just below it, you saw a very vibrant advertisement of Tinder, your interest piqued all of a sudden as you clicked on it, downloading the application at once.

This is what you were going to do, find someone to hook-up with using a dating app, you hadn't ever done this before and naturally, it took you a few minutes to make an account and learn the basics of how the app works, making sure to select an equally sluttery and adorable picture for your profile.

You won't deny that it was fun to swipe left seeing some profiles with literal actors on their profile pictures, not to mention they also claimed to be those very actors. You also came across certain people which you judged, looked fine for your taste, however, they didn't quite reach your ‘I need them to fuck me' scale.

You sighed, almost giving up on this until this one profile made you sit up straight. It was as if the universe was hinting something at you when you saw none other than Jake Sim's profile being displayed on your phone. His picture was clearly alluring, his eyes focused on the camera and his tongue slightly out which, you'd admit, did make him look attractive.

You stared at the screen for a brief second before letting your thumb swipe right before you exit the application and switch off your phone, wondering if there was something wrong with you that day.

Grabbing your pillow, you screamed into it out of embarrassment, quickly searching for ways to undo the right swipe but a certain notification successfully halted your actions, eyes widening at that.

You got a new match! 😍😍😍

To your surprise, it was Jake.

He had sent you a simple wink emoticon paired with 'heyy', very typical of him. A half scoff-laugh escaped your mouth and you decided not to reply to the particular text, throwing your phone on the bed table, going to sleep with a newfound rush of excitement — excitement for your tomorrow's sleepover at Jia's place.

The next day came by quickly as you woke up late, packed a little bag for your stay and you decided to wear shorts and a blouse for your visit, knowing that you'll soon be changing into your short silk pajamas once you reach her place.

It was eight in the night when you parked your car in front of her house, looking into the car mirror once before you locked it, ringing the doorbell and waiting for a second before the door opened to your excited best friend.

“Y/n, come with me right now!” she more or less dragged you to her room, locking the door before she opened the chats of her and Sunghoon.

“Oh god,” you breathed out.

“Right? He wants me again, how am I supposed to say no to that dick?” she whined.

She could have easily gone to his place. But sadly, she wasn't allowed to do so when her parents were out, since her brother was the one in charge.

“I can cover for you,” you spoke slowly, after a second of forming an idea.

That would give your friend a good fuck, whereas, you can simply make a move on Jake, if you run into him that is.

She turned to look at you “Wait, you can. But how?”

“I mean, I can lock the door once you're out and then I'll also make sure to leave the window lock open so that you can get inside in the morning without getting caught,” you simply said whatever came to your mind.

“That can actually work. Should I say yes then?” she got up, typing furiously already as you nodded, biting your lip.

With a satisfactory smile, she sat down next to you, theorizing that going at midnight would be the best choice since Jake doesn't come out after that hour. You smile and nod, happy to see her so giddy, also offering her a facemask as you put on a movie, watching it together, munching on the snacks she had gotten earlier.

“So, what are you going to do with your situation?” she asked, throwing popcorn in your mouth.

You chewed before answering, “I think I'll go to Yeonjun's party tomorrow,” you contemplate, almost lying.

“Ooh, I'll come with,” she decided, checking the time before rushing into the bathroom with an excited squeal.

You shook your head, watching her come out wearing a blouse and skirt, spraying perfume earnestly before she blew you a kiss, running by all the rules while you also reminded her to be responsible and to come back on time.

With a kiss on your cheek, she left and you noticed Sunghoon's car being a little away from the place, to prevent being caught.

You sighed, changing into your pajamas, making your way to the kitchen right after as you felt parched.

Opening the fridge, you found an unopened bottle of water, and a slice of pizza from earlier. The whole house was silent and the thought of Jake being busy, or not knowing about you being here, invaded your mind.

If that were to be the case, then you'd have no other option than to go to Jia's room and sleep.

“When someone sends a text—” a deep voice spoke near your ear, a tingle going down your spine.

You turned only to be trapped between arms and the kitchen counter. The scent was musky, the exact same which you had been dying to get close to since yesterday.

“—then good girls text back, don't they?” he stepped back, his eyes staring right into yours as he asked you the question.

Even in the dim light of the kitchen area, he looked stunning with messy hair and sleeveless shirt, not to mention how the grey sweatpants he wore made his waist seem even smaller.

Adrenaline rushed through your body and you tiptoed to his height, your nose brushing against his own as he held your waist to steady your figure.

“What if I'm not a good girl?” your lips brushed against his as you spoke slowly, “Then what, Jake?”

He chuckled, caressing your cheek with his thumb, your heart beating out of your chest as his hand travelled down to your neck, and towards your nape. He held on to your nape and pulled you impossibly closer to him.

“Then maybe I'll have to teach you a lesson, sweetheart,” he tilted your head, “would you like that?” he spoke out your name and you could only whimper out in a rushed agreement.

Soon, his plush lips meet yours in a kiss of urgency, your hand settling down on his bare shoulder, fingers digging into his flesh as you kissed him back with the same urgency. And suddenly, you were thankful that Jia went out.

Jake couldn't stop himself from feeling every inch of you, his hand going under your shirt, smirking when he noticed that you weren't wearing a bra.

“So fucking naughty.” he broke the kiss, whispering in your ear before he picked you up, placing you on the kitchen counter behind

you, his lips now moving down to kiss your neck, sucking on certain areas alongside, fondling your tits, squeezing them which elicited a moan out of you.

“Jake—” you breathed out his name once he unbuttoned your shirt, throwing it on the floor, his plush lips instantly working on kissing your valley of breasts, while you threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging at the silky roots harsh enough to make him groan.

You found it hot how he was just as eager as you if not more, he stepped back and got rid of his own clothes, keeping his boxers on which did nothing to hide the outline of his hardened cock. You stared at him, cheeks on fire and lips slightly swollen. You noticed how his hair looked messier than ever, your eyes following his every move.

He tugged at your shorts, helping you out of them in a hurry, you bit your lip, spreading your legs on the counter so that he could get a better view of your glistening cunt.

“You're soaked,” he touched your wet slit with two fingers, making you shiver in an instant, “aw, princess. Are you that needy for me?” he bent down to place a kiss right where you needed him the most.

You gasped, feeling overwhelmed and wanting more of him, all of him.

He wastes no time in immersing his tongue into your pussy, licking and sucking as you panted, thighs shaking. He held them open with his strong grip on your thigh. Your eyes closed once the tip of his nose brushed against your clit. You felt ecstatic by each passing second, even more so when his thumb took the chance to stimulate your clit further.

“Jake, I'm so close,” you let out, and he stopped that very second, making you whine.

He licked his lips, looking at you right in the eye before he asked, “What do good girls do?”

“R—reply to texts!” you cried out lowly.

His tone got deeper as he asked you further, “Yeah? And what? You're gonna pay attention to me now?”

You were too out of your brain to get a better understanding of his last question, you didn't question it, nodding and saying yes, mind clouded with lust and need.

“I need words,” he urged, kissing your neck.

“Yes. Yes I will.”

“That's my good girl,” he whispered, positioning his hardened cock at your entrance, rubbing his tip on your wetness.

His words made your head spin in a good way. A lot of people had tried to talk to you that way, however, their words didn't affect you a bit. So, what made it different this time? Maybe it was his deep accent, or the fact that you had been craving sex from a few days now. Or, he was simply good at what he did.

It was easy for him to bottom out with how your wet cunt pulled his cock in, his dick stretching you out deliciously as you pulled him in for another kiss, moaning into his mouth.

He groaned, slamming his cock into you as he attached his lips on your tits, biting and sucking hard enough for it to leave marks by the next day. He acquired a faster rhythm, burying his length inside you while you held on to his shoulders for support.

His digits played with your bundle of nerves alongside, pulling you closer by waist in the process. You knew that you won't be lasting any longer than this and so, he increased his pace, spreading your legs further before you started clenching around him helplessly.

“S—so close,” you whimpered.

“Let go, baby.” He started to pull out, his own high nearing, but you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“I'm on pills,” you whispered, gulping down, “Cum in me, please?”

He had never been more turned on in his entire life. Your fucked out face, swollen lips and the innocent eyes begging him made it harder for him to hold back. He, in fact, didn't wish to hold back anymore.

“You'll be the death of me,” he spoke against your lips, thrusting until you reached your state of euphoria, his cum releasing inside you as you both rode out your orgasms.

You weakly called out his name, and you swear you could see his eyes shining before he bent down to grab his clothes, his usual smirk back on his face as he pulled you in closer for one last time, helping you down the counter and lightly chucking at your wobbly legs.

“Next time, you'll text back, right?” he raised his brows.

Your heart hammered at the possibility of him fucking you again, “Yes, I promise,” you breathed out, lost in his eyes.

“Good girl,” he praised once again, before leaving you standing in the dimly lit kitchen.

You cursed, admitting how it was the best orgasm you've ever had in your life, weakly collecting your clothes before making sure to clean the kitchen counter and going back to Jia's room, cleaning yourself up.

You were too tired to function anymore, sleep consuming you fast as you drifted off to the dreamland.

By the time you woke up the next morning, Jia was home and fast asleep next to you, the sunlight was strong enough to wake you up, your legs sore from the pre-sleep activity you had. With a groan, you got up, looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked like a mess, and so, you decided to take a shower and change into the other set of clothes you got with yourself.

“Jia, you're awake?” you saw your friend sitting on the bed with a pout and half opened eyes.

She called your name. “My legs hurt,” she whined, making you chuckle and help her up, despite your condition being the same as her, if not worse.

In half an hour, you both looked a lot more presentable. Rushing down to eat, you guys found Jake with an apron on, cooking what looked like breakfast to you.

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Jake flicked Jia's forehead and you stood there, seeing the twins bicker.

Jake looked so different from the night, the smile on his face giving his face an angelic glow and his eyes were soft, unlike yesterday, which were full of lust.

He served an omelet with bacon for his sister, soon coming to your side with a playful smile, “Y/n, you look sleepy, did you not sleep well?” he spoke and you rolled your eyes as subtly as you could.

Of course you felt sleepy, he had kept you up half the time and you did not regret it a bit, “I'm hungry,” you spoke, ignoring his question.

He shook his head, winking before going to set up a plate of breakfast for you and him, both. He joined you at the dining table and you three ate silently, scrolling through your phone, still you could feel someone's stare on you, and you very well knew it was Jake's eyes which were fixated on you.

Even when you were leaving for home, he was the one who walked you to the door. Jia didn't suspect a thing, lost in her own little world, giggling as she texted Sunghoon.

“Don't forget to text back,” he spoke in a low tone, almost pressing you against your car with how close he was, “princess,” he concluded, right near your ear.

You gulped, not wanting to admit that even his little gestures affected you a great deal. Not to mention how it was officially just the third day of your said interactions.

You drove back home with a tingling sensation down in your abdomen. Last night left you wanting for more, and so, you looked forward to more of your interactions, also waiting for him to text you.

The day went by as quick as the lightning, you focused on the completion of your assignment, having to submit it in the school tomorrow.

“Final-fucking-ly,” you groaned, stretching your body before you shut down your laptop and plopped on the bed, unlocking your phone to find new notifications, but only one caught your eye.

Jake:

Miss me yet? ;)

You shook your head with amusement, typing out a reply.

You:

What if I do?

Jake:

Then maybe I'll have to come over to solve that problem, bbg

You:

As tempting as the offer is, we have school tmrw </3

Jake:

Tmrw it is then ;)

That was the last text you got from him, and you were curious if he was trying to make this a regular activity. Going behind your best friend was something you'd never thought you'd do, but like you mentioned, the offer was too tempting to refuse.

You took a deep breath, ready to face whatever was to come tomorrow.

You weren't ready for this.

Never in a million years had you thought that one of your fanfiction-esque fantasy would turn into a reality; courtesy of Jake Sim.

The day started off well, the clear sky and light wind made your morning mood instantly better. You reached school right on time, even getting coffee before that to function properly throughout the day.

Sitting with a random student, you pulled out your binder to make notes for that specific class, paying attention to everything your teacher said out loud before a small ball of crumpled paper hit your arm, you turned around in hopes of finding the culprit, but sadly, no one looked even a tad bit suspicious.

You shrugged, shifting your focus back on the lesson. Soon, the bell rang and you sprinted out of the class, the subject wasn't your favourite but paying

attention was the bare minimum. You stood in front of your lockers, stuffing a book back there before you shut it.

“Hey,” Jake spoke and you stepped back in surprise, clutching your chest before you slapped his shoulder.

“The fuck are you doing?” you whisper yelled.

“Exactly. What the fuck am I doing if you're still not pressed against the wall with my lips on yours?” he leaned in and you pushed him back, afraid of someone coming across you both being cozy with each other.

“We can't do it here,” you said, adjusting the strap of your bag and your eyes darting around the corridor, not meeting his.

“Right, we have to be at a secluded place. Follow me,” he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the parking area, which was fairly empty.

“Jake, I have a class—” you stopped once he turned towards you.

“Then you've got two choices, baby,” he smirked, “go and attend your class, or stay and let me fuck you.”

He pressed the door open button on his car keys, and you noticed that it was right behind you. The decision was yours to make, his tempting expression made you want to pull on his collar and smash your lips against his.

That's exactly what you did.

Soon, you were stuffed into the backseat of his car, windows fogged up and devoid of clothes, breathing ragged and his cock deep inside your cunt.

You had never been so grateful for tinted windows before.

“What do good girls say?” he urged you to answer, not moving.

You whined, “Please?”

“You're such a good girl for me, giving me all your attention.” He pulled out, slamming his cock inside your pussy once again and rubbed your clit alongside it.

Despite your state of pure ecstasy, you noticed this one word he spoke, ‘attention’ it was something he had used before too, and you were more than curious to know the reason behind it. Was it based on lust or something more? The question was sure to linger in your mind the whole day.

You hands tangled in his hair, holding his face close to your neck while he placed harsh kisses all over from your neck to clavicle as he hit all the deeper spots inside of you, growling your name as you both reached your climax, him nibbling on your earlobe before he collected your arousal with his two digits, tasting it right in front of your eyes, successfully hypnotizing you with his actions.

Chuckling, he swiftly pulled you on his lap and rested in the position for a while, your wetness close to his hardening cock.

He grabbed your chin and whispered against your lips, “Now that I've got a taste of you, I don't think I'd want to let go,” his tone was deep and breathless.

“Then don't,” you softly spoke, sealing the deal before he pulled you up and let you sink on his cock, taking you for the second time that very day.

This feeling was foreign to you. It had always been you, the plans, the calls, it all came from you whenever you were needy. This applied to all your previous friends with benefits, however, this time was different.

You weren’t one to spend time them, or were available for them when they needed you for their own share of sexual fulfilment.

That’s precisely what you were thinking about while staring into the mirror, lips shaded with your favourite lipstick, clad in a skirt with a top that complemented it well. All this because of one person.

Jake Sim.

It had been a solid of three weeks since your sex escapades started, and in midst of that, you had somehow grown used to his ways, his mannerism and, of course, his golden retriever like charm. You vaguely remember the day it started, the day you gave up your own rules. Willingly.

It was quite a horrible day for you, nothing was going your way, from you getting soaked in the unforeseen rain, to forgetting your assignment back at home and the newfound announcement of one of your favourite local bakeries being closed when you craved something sweet; made your crankiness rise up to a new level.

It blatantly showed how you were in dire need of some kind of distraction, a release of some sort. And Jake unknowingly gave you just that. His text was simple, asking if you wanted to come over, also informing you that his sister won’t be home for the night — and you knew exactly why.

So you took your chance and rushed over to his place. It was as if he knew that you needed something rough, he asked for your permission once before grabbing your wrist with his veiny hand, getting you inside his bedroom and closing the door swiftly, pressing you against the same while his eyes darkened with lust.

You’d never forget that night, the room was filled with the mist of sex and desire, the noise of your skin slapping resonating while you gasped when he spanked your ass, gripping your hair to thrust in harder from behind. His filthy words filled your mind, you wanted him more than you’ve ever wanted anyone. And that’s exactly what helped you reach your climax.

“That was amazing,” you huffed out, rolling on his bed and covering yourself with the blanket, getting comfortable as you tried to calm your breathing.

“You’re amazing,” he spoke, getting in the blanket with you, eyes earnest as he said so.

You gulped, breaking eye contact once your heart started racing at the honesty of his words, getting ready to do what you always did after a session — leave.

However, he had the power to stop you with a single sentence.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” he asked, eyes never leaving yours.

You simply blinked at his statement, contemplating where you should stay or not, counting the reasons you could stay, the first being the sour ache in your legs, courtesy of Jake’s powerful thrusts which drove you to your breaking point.

Second being the comfort of his mattress, you made a mental note to ask him the brand for the same.

Third being, well, just his company.

Three reasons were enough for you, and you were noddin before you could even think more, making him smile the widest you’ve ever seen. Your own lips curling into one due to how contagious his smile was.

You stayed up the night watching his favourite movie, again, you would have said no but instead, you found yourself getting intrigued by the story each passing second, the night ending with you two sharing the bed, lips faintly curled up. You knew you were doomed when you found yourself in his arms, his face the first thing your eyes witnessed in the morning.

To prevent getting hurt, you did what you had to.

You left before he woke up.

You thought you had dodged the bullet called feelings, however, you only craved his touch more, and when he called your phone the next day, letting you know that he’s outside your place, you broke your rules yet again.

Ever since that day, you found yourself hanging out more, not just for the sake of having sex but also in general. He joined you and Jia whenever you hung out together despite the insufferable bickering he had to go through with his sister.

In the span of two weeks, he accompanied you both to the amusement park, sneaking to make out with you at random times. He went to your place to give you the jacket you left in Jia’s room, only to stay back and have a little extra fun with you while fucking you in your bathroom.

That’s not all. Jake was a kind person despite his usual unbothered and cool persona. He was quick to prove it to you, he took care of you in ways that you wouldn’t expect him to, getting you food and also relieving your stress in his own way. You got to witness the cuter side of him, learning how he’s scared of ghosts and you kissed him on the cheek that day, finding him adorable with his blushing face.

You wanted to spend each second of your day with him.

Which brings you back to today’s case. You were going to their place, Jia not being home again and you wondered why you had put so much effort just to meet him, knowing that you’ll look absolutely smashed once he’ll be done with you.

That wasn’t the case though. He had pulled you in with a smile, not forgetting to kiss you right on your mouth. It felt domestic, and you hated how your knees felt weak at his gestures, you didn’t know that his own heartbeat was faster than usual when he asked if you would play video games with him, even more so once you agreed.

“You’re so bad at this,” you laughed, getting the hang of the game.

“No! I’m just being nice and letting you win here,” he argued.

He was simply bad at it.

Just then, you won again with a celebratory sign showing on the television screen and you jumped up, genuinely smiling and wrapping his arms around him, only for him to hug you back tighter, his hand on your waist pulling you close, increasing the proximity.

You stilled, breaking the hug but his hand didn’t move an inch, keeping you in place. He called out your name in a whisper, giving you goosebumps.

“Yes?” You softly asked back.

“You’re so pretty,” he spoke in that very tone which had your heart racing, his thumb caressing the apple of your cheek.

You didn’t say anything, already conflicted at the realization that you liked him. Further, you were taken aback with his next words.

“I’ve always thought you were so pretty from far, but once I came closer and saw you in a more intimate manner, I knew I was fucked,” he confessed softly.

“Wait, what do you mean?” You asked with wide eyes.

He chuckled, capturing your lips in an impatient kiss, his hand cupping your cheek lightly.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, wanting him to be closer than ever, lips moving in sync with his as he deepened the kiss.

The door opened that very second, revealing Jia with widened eyes and a clenched fist.

You stepped back in a frenzy, shaking your head as you walked towards her. Jake rolled his eyes, biting the inside of his cheek before looking away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She screamed.

“Jia, I can explain—”

She scoffed. “No. You can’t. It’s so low of you to go behind my back to fuck my brother.”

Your eyes widened at her sentence, guilt filling up your body. Despite that, you decided to stay mum and not call her out for fucking Jake’s best friend.

“Just listen to me once,” you begged.

“Leave.” Her words were final.

Your shoulders slumped, and you made your way out despite Jake calling out your name desperately, tears welling up in your eyes. Midway down the stairs, you remembered how you left your phone back in his room, walking back to get it.

“Shut up!” You heard Jake scream once you stood outside the room, you had never heard him scream before.

“So you think I don’t know that you’ve been fucking my best friend all along? Guess what? I don’t fucking care. Do what you have to and let me do what I have to.”

“H—how did you know?” Your friend asked him and you felt bad for causing an argument between the twins.

“I saw you the other day,” he sighed, voice getting lower as he spoke the next words, “why would you do this, Jia? I’ve liked her for so long, this was my chance to be with her and you ruined it.” You heard him speak.

You covered your mouth with your hand at the confession. You didn’t like to evesdrop, but you couldn’t help it either, your cheeks heating up as you heard him speak more.

“No. Actually, like won’t be the correct word here. I’m in love with her,” he told Jia.

You couldn’t stay anymore, leaving your phone there as you quickly rushed down to leave. You didn’t want to leave Jake, not when you felt the same way for him. Crying in your room was the best option for you at the given moment, you didn’t regret being with Jake and also wished for your time together to have been longer, you held yourself for an hour as you cried.

A sudden doorbell made you rush down the stairs and you found Jake standing there with a guilty faced Jia. He saw your crying state and engulfed you in a hug, which only made you cry further into his neck, he held you for a few minutes before you broke the hug and looked at Jia, tears streaming down her face.

“Y/n,” she called out weakly, “I’m sorry.”

You looked at Jake and he nodded before you both pulled each other in a hug. She constantly kept apologizing and you stayed quiet, not knowing how to handle the situation.

“I know I’ve been a hypocrite, I’m so fucking sorry to you both,” she looked down, “Jake is right, you two should be together,” she smiled at you.

“Jia, it’s okay. It must have been shocking for you, I understand and I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Your words made her cry more.

Jake held your hand through it all, letting you know that it’ll soon be okay for everyone.

That night, Jake decided to stay with you as you held on to him dearly. Also staring at him with heart eyes which made him laugh and look away, a faint blush on his face.

“You okay now?” He softly asked, and you nodded.

“Jake,” you licked your lips before looking him in the eye, “I heard you earlier.”

“What?” He looked at you, scared that he’ll be rejected.

“I swear I wasn’t trying to listen to you guys, I needed my phone which I left in your room!” You explained.

“Oh,” he bit his lip, “I understand if you don’t want—”

“I love you.” Your words made him look up with wide eyes.

“Princess—”

“I really do,” you gulped, cupping his face, “I want us to be together.”

He smiled, eyes watering as he pulled you in a deep kiss.

“I love you,” he spoke against your lips, you both smiling, “Y/n?” He called out your name and you hummed, “let me make love to you.”

Your breath hitched at his words, you rubbed your nose with his before nodding and kissing him with a smile on your face.

He looked at you with the most gentle expression, helping you get out of your clothes while kissing every inch of your body. His full attention on you, his eyes fixated on your face as he memorized each of your expressions while he touched your wetness slowly, your fingers digging on his shoulders as he stretched your pussy out with his two digits.

You called out his name with need, and he only kissed you more, his lips soft against yours as his hands caressed your breasts. He quickly separated for a second which caused you to whine, him gathering his precum on his thumb before pumping his cock a few times, positioning himself on your entrance.

Jake thrusted in, placing kisses on your clavicle as he intertwined your fingers, he reached the deepest spots in you, the ones which no one had reached before and you were on cloud nine. His thrusts were perfectly angled, sharp and hit your g-spot — turning you into a moaning mess in his hold.

His hair matted against your forehead made him look even prettier and he saw you staring at him, pulling you into a kiss as he thrusted in harder.

“Don’t look at me like that, princess,” he groaned.

“Like what?” You asked, breathless.

“Like I’m your whole world,” he said and you looked away while he laughed in the crook of your neck.

He rested his forehead against yours when you were close, your mouth opening to tell him something at the same time as his mouth opened.

“I love you,” you both spoke together, reaching your climax together before you smiled, kissing each other deeply.

“You are my whole world,” you spoke up and he shook his head with yet another smile, pulling you on his lap before hugging you closer.

You had never felt happier and were so grateful for the text Jake had sent to you that day, which made you realize one thing that —

Love was the prettiest thing you could ever feel.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

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[vampiretendencies]

I was thinking about pregnant reader where she’s just really emotional and overwhelmed. like almost everything is making her upset. for example, jj getting ready to leave her for work?— tears

you smooth over the stupid however flattering mechanics uniform. buttoning up until the last button, fingertips tracing the jj tag sown neatly to his shirt. encapsulated in cursive and all. he’d gotten the lead mechanic at the most retailed shop in kildare. he grinned at your pout, thumbing over the roundness of your cupids bow. his calloused thumb lingers there and he takes in the shape of the lips he’ll be undoubtedly kissing in this lifetime and the next.

“y’been doin’ this every morning, baby.”

“because you leave me every morning.”

it’s irritating that he has to go to a dumb job and make dumb money, rather than spending his day with his girl and his baby on the way. it treads at remaining loneliness until the creeping up of eight pm when he gets off. before you were pregnant it was easy to disguise the prevailing emptiness by doing things around the house. but, now you’re big and pregnant, and you hardly feel like lifting a finger. his hands travel to your stomach, cupping beneath your belly— being six months, you were very much showing which jj admittedly took pride in.

if he could take you out for a day on the town and show you off, he would anytime of the week. also, having remaining withdrawals from being away from his little family. not equaling up to the debilitating version that you felt, however.

“gotta’ keep working so my girls won’t want for nothin’.”

“i’ll still want you.”

he goes in for a kiss to your lips, but you turn your head in stubbornness so instead he’s met with your cheekbone— which would not settle his aching appetite. a hand left your stomach to adjust your turned head, squishing your face with a bit of demand and admiration. your kiss back, rolling your eyes partially.

“just feel helpless here by myself j.”

he lowers himself on his knees eye-level with your belly, he lifts up the oversized t-shirt, which was evidently his; it crinkles beneath your breasts and stays. he places yet another kiss there, almost in sync with the little angel, as he swears to God above he feels a kiss back.

“you’re never helpless, proud of you every second im gone for carrying our baby.”

gently placing the shirt down, he pecks you once more because he knows you need it almost more than him.

“prettily, might i add.”

[yourmomsawh0r3]

the oscars

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

summary: pedro pascal and his wife take on the oscar’s as she is nominated for her new movie

a/n: this was my first time writing fan fiction bitchessss obviously it’s not the best

PART 2 is up now bbs <3

the night was young, you were in the living room of your shared home with Pedro getting glammed up by your team for the Oscars. As they finished up the last touches of your makeup and hair, you went into the bedroom to get into your dress, looking into the mirror "damn I look good." you said "fucking right you do" the voice of your husband Pedro said behind you "mami you look breathtaking." he says as he grabs you from behind staring at you lovingly in the mirror, he lightly kisses your temple just as, "CARS HERE!" your assistant yelled. "let's go bebe" you say grabbing his hand and walking to the car.

As you guys pulled up to the Oscars red carpet, you could hear the fans screaming along with the paparazzi. you two stepped out of the vehicle hand in hand, everyone was going crazy, as you made your way down the red carpet taking photos with your Pedro you heard one of the paparazzi guys say " Y/N are you excited to be nominated for your new movie ?" "I am beyond thrilled to be nominated for the movie "No Hard Feelings", my castmates and I worked so hard on this movie, and I'm so glad people really enjoyed it" Pedro gave your ass a squeeze while taking pictures, with that all you could do was laugh. you didn't think you were that nervous for the Oscars. Making your way inside, you head STRAIGHT to the bar "I need a drink before this shit starts, I don't think I can go up there without liquid courage" Downing your drink in one go, Pedro laughed.. he grabbed your hand and walked towards your reserved seats.

while sitting there fidgeting with your husbands wedding band on his finger you thought going through the list of awards is gonna take forever. That was until your name was called and your character Maddie from the movie was displayed across the big screen. "why does my head look so big? i mean seriously out of all clips from the movie”you leaned over giggling at Pedro all he could do was shake his head and laugh. "your overreacting, your head is a perfect shape baby, you will always be beautiful to me." " AND THE AWARD FOR BEST FEMALE ACTRESS GOES TO..." you legit felt like you were gonna throw up. "Y/N L/N for Maddie in no hard feelings!" you looked at Pedro with your jaw dropped, he was smiling cheek to cheek

“i’m so proud of you, go baby go accept your award!" as he gave you a steamy quick kiss

the song from your movie "Maneater (live) by Andrew Barth Feldman played at 1:24" played in the background. holding onto your long dress you walked up the stairs to the stage, thank the lord you didn't trip and eat the ground. is all you can think in your head. "congratulations y/n, do you have anything you would like to say" smiling you take your award and start speaking into the podium mic "fuck, IM IN SHOCK.. am i allowed to say that?” the people back stage shake their head no. “no? wow okay, well first I would like to thank my husband pedro pascal, and my kids alexis and antonio without them I wouldn't be where I am today, I would like to thank the cast and all of the crew it took to make this movie, I would also like to thank my manager, publicist, and my assistant, lastly i would like to thank my fans, you guys are my everything i love you all so much. WHEW now i'm ready to get drunk and shake ass at the afterparty" The whole crowd laughed and cheered as you made your way down the stairs with your award heading back to your seat. "i love you cariño" pedro says as he grabs your face and kisses you deeply.

[riaki]

PHEW okay. rn im working on a yoshida fic but i completely spitballed and went off the rails ...... so um. might be a while before that comes out, so take some (many) thoughts and drabbles of weird stalker boy instead !! yoshida hirofumi x reader

@twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat take this for yoshi fluff n some mild angst.. for now......

i feel like yoshida would definitely be the kinda guy to give his all in keeping it together; especially with his position as student council president (that he's only half-committed to, really) topped off with his life in the private sector of devil hunting, his image is extremely important to him. not because he has a huge ego or is self-obsessed, but he knows that a lot of people look up to him and rely on him. that being said, he's (probably, yoshida lore when) only human, and he's bound to struggle and wrestle with the workload he's chained to, and it can often get the best of his emotions and stress him out.

so a little word of encouragement here, a sweet 'washed your dishes and your clothes cus i saw you were busy' there would be everything he needs to spur himself on even if he's exhausted; hearing the phrase "i'm proud of you." from your mouth in your sweet, sweet voice? makes it all worth it. 

all considered, he doesn't want you to do too much for him; he never lets you pay for your shared meals or drive the two of you home, BUT you should give it your all in trying anyway! acts of service for him seem subtle, but they really mean the world to him when you try so hard to lighten his burden. he thinks it's the most endearing thing on the planet. on the days he lacks the energy to even utter a small mumble of protest, he'll let you take the wheel- but those days are rare, so capitalize on the opportunity! being a gentleman is tiring, so make him coffee (not black) instead of letting him buy the headache-inducing cans of sickeningly sweet caffeine from the vending machines outside his apartment when you rise early enough to; let him fall asleep in your lap and gently play with his hair while you handle a homework assignment for him or two. bonus points if he wakes up to something sweet or savory made by those hands of yours that he loves to hold so much; do that, and he might just dream of marrying you the next time he indulges in an afternoon nap in the confines of your arms. 

(and when you hold him to your chest and whisper sweet nothings into his ears on the days he's earned further affection from you? it makes him feel like he's being granted a visit from the heavens, though hell knows he'll never make it up there. but, if he thinks he's being honest, it doesn't matter to him- not when you're right in front of him, a taste of divinity. not when you're gently tracing each slope and ridge in the shape of his left ear, thumb tenderly prodding at the soft skin between the cold metal piercings on his ear. it's like you're mapping out just this minuscule section of his body, and he's found himself praying to whatever's out there that you'll always be here to give him this; that one day, you'll have ran your fingers over every inch of him, memorizing the intricacies of the very bones in his body.)

to me, his primary love language would definitely be quality time- more so for him than you (but he still hopes you enjoy it enough to indulge him. makes him feel like a kid in a candy store with free reign over his monthly allowance.) meaningful talks with you and silly fun banter is all he needs to take his mind off the stresses currently throwing him for a loop and let loose a little. that’s one of the reasons why he fell so head over heels for you— you make it a little easier to breath whenever you’re around him. also... he loves the look on your face whenever he surprises you with gifts, so count on an uninvited bouquet of flowers in some varying hue of your eye color, or surprise boxes of jewelry- that is, if he can afford it. if not, he'll take you out when the weather is pleasant enough and you're in the mood for a cup of boba or an evening out in the nearest shopping district, browsing the warmly lit stands as the chatter of people bustling by fills your ears and he holds onto your hands in the simple pretext of not wanting you to get lost as he buys every mouth-watering festival food you lay your eyes on without hesitation. maybe he'll even treat you to a quick stop at a standing ramen restaurant- and if you're too tired to support yourself on your own two legs, he has no problem carrying you. after all, with his private devil hunting, you both know he's more than capable of that. and so, rest-assured you’ll return home on those gleeful days with full stomaches, bags n boxes full of sticky dango and fresh glistening apples the shades of a red autumn, and giddy smiles coupled with painted strawberry blush that dusts your cheeks and stains your ears. and if, throughout that entire vivid night of fireworks and sweet n savory scents drifting from stalls and the treats in the hands of vivacious children, you happen to get some crumbs or powder on your cheeks, he's more than happy to wipe it away with an affectionate thumb and earnest smile— or even lean in for a taste straight from your flushed skin.

on the topic of his side job in the private sector, though- yoshida prefers to keep you as far away as possible from the side of his life that's three feet deep and counting in missions at the Bureau. and of course, he takes no pleasure in lying to your face, especially when he realizes that you realize the half-assed mutters that fall from his lips don't answer the questions you demand answers to. 

he knows it's a necessity, though. so he never tells you the truth when it comes to this matter. 

but you can only see the tip of the iceberg of cold, guilty pain that washes over him when he watches your trust in him slip like you're loosing your footing; the excuses he spins that you don't buy and the way he feels like he's being scrutinized beneath your burning gaze as your eyes rove over the rough cuts on his arms and the blooming purple bruise on his jaw that you know isn't a love mark (or at least, you hope so. your mind won’t let you consider the possibility.) makes him feel guiltier than ever. on every other occasion, he never shies away from your gaze; for one, he’s well aware of how attractive he is, but all the compliments and shy confessions he’s ever received feel minuscule when you look at him like he’s your world, so loving that it seems to make the sun shine an inkling brighter and the birds outside his window sing a little sweeter amongst the symphony of nature. but on less pleasant occasions, when it feels like you’re appraising him— no. not just him. appraising his words, weighing them on a golden scale that’s supposed to be unbiased towards the truth, but your heart can’t take the strain when you consider the possibility of him lying to you, and he feels more distant from you every time you look at him in a way that makes him want to shrink away and shut himself up from your prying eyes that he knows are only well-intentioned— which is all the more reason why he falters under the weight of them.

but it’s not like he’d ever tell you that, though. so really, it’s up to you to decide how you act; to probe him and risk a few unintentionally harsh words aimed in your direction in the hopes of confronting the issue head-on before it’s too late, or simply sit back and let it fester until it’s grown out of control and manifests into a hurtful argument for both parties. miscommunication is the enemy to your relationship :(

that being said, yoshida is a bit of a control freak. when things don’t go the meticulous way he’s planned them out, he starts to loose his cool pretty easily, stressing his pretty head off about this and that, biting on his lip and curling a hand into his dark hair. really, though, it’s a simple fix— he tends to get overwhelmed easily only when it comes to things like this, n so all you have to do is tear him away from whatever’s preoccupying him and hold him, soothe his nerves by running your hands through his hair and rubbing gentle circles into his back. like i said, acts of service are really meaningful to him, esp w his line of work— makes him feel all fuzzy on the inside, like there’s a cluster of stars in his chest, his heart stuttering like a broken engine and a bouquet of lilies flowering in his stomach, petals clogging his throat and making it impossible for him to voice his gratitude. and so, after he calms down, he’ll take your hand and pepper little kisses on your knuckles until you ask him to stop with a bright smile and a laugh that sounds like the trickling melody of a running spring water stream.

but that’s an if, though. yoshida might not always manage to calm down— and sometimes his frustration will get the better of him. it might be difficult to manage; he’s so composed and collected for the most part that the meticulous patience required to deal with his boiling vexation might be unfamiliar to you, so it’ll be a bumpy slope. so try to be understanding in the case that he ever snaps at you, and know that he never means to hurt someone as important to him as you. give him time, and he’ll come around. <3

[snazzi-strawberri-artz]

Redesigns of @keyunto's god characters!!! I designed their characters around 2021, and i redrew them so i can see how far ive come with my character designing skills!! suffice to say im really proud of myself >:]]

Design notes and old design comparisons below!

I didnt change much with fox girl other than freckles ngl but i will say that i will always love drawing her spiky eyelashes <3 Shes my number one fav design to draw from everyone HAHA

Now THIS design i had fun doing again!! first of all, made her hair MORE floofy and took away the kinda unneceasry braid on her hair. Also made her face more chubby because i think it fits a bunny goddess well!!

now THIS was a big redesign. i practically. restructured her whole face HAHA but yeah i was just not feeling the og design, it was giving so much OOMPH and character so i tried to make her look more fierce and formidable, just how an actual lion is!

now here i ULTRA LEVELED UP HER HAIR TO LOOK MORE RACOON LIKE LMAOO it was actually super fun drawing it!! no more the days of bland unspiky hair >B]

i think her og design looks already super good!! BUT IM RLLY PROUD OF THIS REDESIGN SPECIFICALLY BCUS OF HOW THE HAIR FLOWS!!!! ITS GOIN SWOOPY SWOOPS!!!! and ofc had to use a feather earring because raven goddess etc gender etc <3

honestly did not change her design that much EXCEPT for her face structure, and i think the lil pearl necklaces and crowns and beads are such a regal touch I LOVE IT

Ohhh dog boy. ya i dont rlly like the og design that much DLKJSD so i had to rlly like. change almost everything abt him omg. but i rlly think this is a cute redesign!! i love the ruffly hiar 🥺

TIGER MAN WOOOO I LOVE YOUUUU BUT YES I GAVE HIM MORE FACIAL HAIR AND EYEBROWS AND SPUNK >>B]]] og design looks like him in his 20s HAHA and NGL facial hair is hard to draw like especially beards, i dont get how it wraps around the face, but im DOIN MY BEST TO DRAW IT MORE

his beard: pointy. his eyes: 🥺. the perfect redesign. Also i remmeber in that og design is that is when like the first time ive tried drawing hooked noses??

it felt so wrong seeing a god based off a bear and Not even being fat??? A CRIME!!!!!!! SO YES TWAS IMPERATIVE HE BE A BIG BOY!!!

I love this redesign so much HAHA like that hair is an UPGRADE and that FACIAL HAIOR MMMMMMMMM Like IM SO PROUD OF THIS OK LET ME HAVE THIS,,,,,,

def didnt change much, as i rlly think the curly kind of long hair is SUCH a good hair for a love god HAHA and ofc i gave them the slutty ruffly poet shirt okay,,,,,😁hes the token twink of the group!!

but yeah all in all, im so proud of this!! i very much detwinkified almost all of them LMAOO and i think ive def imporved in terms of face shape, especially in noses and also fat! I hope i imporve more in the future and perhaps redesign this in the future years 👀

BUT YES YAYYY IF YOUVE REACHED THIS FAR SAY BERRIS SO HANDSOME AND AWESOMEEEE!!!!😍😍😍

[ytsame]

hello sun and moon community 👋

may I offer: My human iterations (design breakdown below ⬇️)

☀️🌑 DESIGN BREAKDOWN:

looking at the animatronics themselves I knew right away I wanted them to have vitiligo. I remember reading from somewhere that vitiligo is more common in black people (plus I kinda love the idea of the dca’s being black) so here we are. TBH Moon’s vitiligo isn’t something im too proud of but I’ll fix it next time

I won’t go too into details about their designs much since I plan on making a proper ref of these but here are a few details I wanna share

☀️: With our sunny attendant I originally wanted him to have a somewhat spiky, chaotic hair to represent his “sun-rays” but when doing research there wasn’t alot of what I was looking for so I went with braids instead because it was close enough. Compared to moon who has a bit of a wider face-shape, sun’s is sharp because again- sun rays(ish).

He also has freckles on his face but Im thinking of changing that into sun-spots

Now for his name, I went with the easy route and chose “Sol” which quite literally means Sun. As for his last name Davis, I just went for the most American sounding name because my version of Sun is African-American.

🌑: For our moon man I instantly knew he had to be bald because look at him, without that nightcap he’s spotting a shiner underneath. I wanted Moon to look intimidating because canonically he is the more creepy one between the two. The eyebrow slit also adds to that “intimidating” feature. (I plan to fix his features a bit cuz it looks kinda wonk)

Moon is Haitian, so I had to do research on naming him and I still think it wasn’t executed that well. If any Haitians have recommendations on what I could name him then please do 🙏. But with what I found, “Marcos” means military adept and since Moon is the security bot of the two I went with that. Unfortunately his last name doesn’t have a meaning (as far as im aware) but apparently Desir is a common Haitian last name (again please correct me if im wrong)

As you can see, both of their last names start with D as a reference to their candies “Sundrops and Moondrops” and I like the idea of their full names being said candies.

Thats it for my design breakdown and tbh I really like what I have so far. Once Im done with their refs Ill prolly do Roxy and Chica so stick around for that

[steadybelieverpersona]

Prolouge

AN: I decided to skip the opening cutscene along with how the traveler gains the Anemo element and meets Venti and Dvalin and a heads up, I won't be active mainly because of my private life and I have to focus on that so I won't be active and write a lot also, thank you for those of you who, who decided to read this

Paimon: Were almost there!!! Paimon can't wait to try all the delicious food~ Oh!! And also help you find your sister Aether!!!

Aether: I really hope I can meet the Anemo Archon and get information about my sister...

???: *yells from above* WATCH OUT!!!

Aether: !!! *moves away quickly*

Paimon: Wahh!!! *hides behind Aether*

???: *stops gliding and jumps on a bubble to land* Phew!!! *wipes the dirt off her skirt* Sorry about that, glad I warned you both otherwise you both would've gotten hurt, anyways, introductions, My name is Y/n, resident of Mondstat!!! And you guys are?

Paimon: Paimon's name is Paimon, and this is Aether *points at a blushing Aether*

Y/n: Alright, and is Aether alright? Does he have a fever? *gets close to his to put her hand on his forehead* his head is really warm...

Aether: I-Im alright!!! Thank you for your concern!!! *quickly pulls away*

Paimon: *has a smug look* Also, you said that you're a resident of Mondstat, right? Could you lead us to Mondstat City? Paimon's directions are a blur since Paimon is getting tired after all these directions

Y/n: Sure!!! Follow me!!! *starts walking*

Paimon: What!?! Did she just trust us that quickly even if we just met!?! *stomps her foot*

Aether: *follows her*

Paimon: Wait for Paimon!!!

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Paimon: *whining* Are we almost there yet?~ Paimon's hungry!!!

Y/n: We're almost there, so hang-

???: Hey you! Stop right there!

Just then a girl with long dark brown hair, orange-gold eyes, and fair skin with her most distinguishing feature being a headband with a large red bow that rests on her head, resembling the shape of bunny ears jumped from a medium sized ledge and landed in front of them

???: *has a hand on her chest in a soldier like way* May the Anemo God you, stranger! I am Amber, Outrider for the Knights of Favonius, You don't look like citizens of Mondstat. Explain yourselves!

Y/n: Hey Amber!

Amber: Y/n!?! What are you doing here!? I thought Jean said that you were gonna stay at headquarters!?! And why are you with strangers!?!

Y/n: *sweat drops* I decided to go for a walk, and I bumped into these two

Paimon: Walk? But you just-- *gets a pebble thrown her face*

Y/n: shh!!! *looks at her with her pointer finger on her lips*

Paimon: *waves her hand in front of her* Uh, we're not looking for trouble! And Y/n was just showing us the way to the city!

Amber: That's what all the troublemakers say! Especially boys that take advantage of Y/n's innocence and naiveness! *points at Aether while holding Y/n close*

Aether: Um, Hello, I'm Aether *sweat drops*

Amber: That doesn't sound like a local name to me... And this mascot, what's the deal with it?

Aether: Emergency food. *proud*

Paimon: Hey! That's even worse than being called a mascot!

Y/n: So, to sum it all up, you're traveling partners...

Amber: Well look, there's been a large dragon spotted around Mondstat recently. Best you get inside the city as soon as possible, I'll escort you there

Y/n: Oh, but aren't you here for some other reason?

Amber: I am, but not to worry I can keep you all safe while doing that too. Besides, I'm still not sure I can trust you being alone with those two just yet.

Aether: That's a rather rude way to speak with guests...

Amber: Oh, ahh...I'm sorry. Probably something that I shouldn't say as a knight. I give you my apologies, Uh strange but yet respectable travelers.

Paimon: That sounded so fake!

Amber: Do you have something against the type of language usage prescribed by the Knights of Favonius Handbook!?

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The four were walking twords the city until Y/n realized something

Y/n: Oh right! I forgot to ask you both on the reason for why you're traveling!!!

Paimon: Aether got separated from his sister during a really long journey, Paimon is his travel buddy helping him find his sister

Amber: Oh...looking for your family? Uh... okay let me finish my stuff and then I can help you set up posters inside the city

Y/n: I'll help too! I'll even put a poster on my head if I have to!

All three: *sweat drops*

Paimon: Uh, anyways, what is it that your doing exactly first, Amber?

Amber: Its simple! You'll understand in a bit, even Y/n knows what it is

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They continued walking until Paimon notices a weird creature

Paimon: Look! A hilichurl!

Amber: Quick! Get it!

Aether managed to finish off the Hilichurl before it could get away

Amber: These monsters have been getting too close to the city recently, My task this time is clear out their camp

Y/n: I see it over there! *points to where the camp is at*

Aether and Amber started to fight the hilichurls and while Aether and Amber finished up fighting their own hilichurls a hilichurl was running twords Y/n and since an explosion barel was near the hilichurl Y/n came up with a "fun" idea

Aether: Y/n!!! look out!!! *running twords her*

Y/n:

(Pretend that's you instead of Nahida, and the attack is blue instead of green, and the barel blew up with the hilichurl)

After Y/n did that, the explosion barel exploded, ending the hilichurl and setting the area that the hilichurl was on fire

Y/n: That was fun! *clapping her hands and noticed the small fire she started* I should put that out before it spreads...

Amber: *looks at a shocked Aether and Paimon* Don't mind her saying that she just likes ending hilichurls since it's another way of releasing her anger other than being inside a bubble that she makes

Y/n: *pops up next to Paimon* Boo!!!

Paimon: Ah! When did you get there!?!

Amber: *ignores them as Y/n starts poking Paimon's cheek* Anyways, Thanks for the backup. How'd it feel?

Aether: Barely broke a sweat

Paimon: *floats higher so Y/n can't reach her* Now that Paimon thinks about it, how did the hilichurls end up here? These creatures don't seem like they would set up camps around cities

Amber: Exactly! It's more normal for them to be further out in the wilderness, but because the dragon, Storm Terror has been around recently our orchards have been destroyed and the market has been affected aswell

Y/n: When the storms hit we usually end up with a few injuries so the Knights of Favonius have been tied up doing the best they could by defending the area, and I've been helping out the best I could by helping repair some destroyed areas in the city and by healing injuries to the best of my ability and knowledge of medicine

Paimon: *has her hands on her hips* So these annoying creatures have been getting closer and closer to the city?

Amber: Exactly, that said, clearing the camp helped clearing this area. Come with me! A responsible knight must make sure to see you to the city safely.

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Finally, after some more walking, they all made it to the city of Mondstat, and the place looked so lively

Amber: Let me fully introduce you to the city of wind, dandelion, and freedom!

Y/n: Travelers under the protection of the Knights of Favonius -- Welcome to the Mondstat!

[epiphlyte]

its a bird its a plane its the wof arc 1 dod! yeah i was into drawing wof before i really honed in on cats believe it or not. it’s finally time to revisit my roots, wof was the first fandom i was introduced to at a young age and wof fanon wiki was the first internet space i ever joined!

a real deep dive on what went into these designs below the cut, im not sure about your regular epiphlyte.tumblr.com reader but i know i absolutely loove to listen to people talk about their creative choices!

___

clay’s the design i’m most unhappiest with; unlike what i usually do with these kinds of multiple character drawings i completely sketched/lined/coloured each character before moving on to the next. you can tell i did him first LOL the entire time i was just like “eughh i wanna redo him,,,” i like the direction he’s going but the execution isn’t my favourite for sure. i’d like to revisit him someday!

second one i did was tsunami! at the time i didn’t really like her face shape since it wasn’t what i was picturing, but now i actually quite like it. could maybe use a bit of tweaking (and colour variation?) here or there but i think this design’s good! i like her swirlies!

i was super proud of glory’s lineart but then moved onto the colours and? they look fine after ten minutes of changing the hues around but they’re still not ones i usually work with. i like the general base i have down for rainwings and how they look so frilly and out of place next to my other dragons, and i think it suits glory’s place in canon!

starflight’s just a generic little dragon. a lad. i originally had a bandanna on him and drew him with his volcano eruption scars but i forgot them when lining,,,, oops (it was 3 am i was half awake),, however i do like the simplicity for nightwings! it fits their role in canon, but i want to come up with more accessories/shapes/colours to distinguish them

sunny’s the design i did last and also the one i’m most proud of, my little lemon cow <3! i like the little sparkles in her frills and her face shape though id like to maybe play around with the colours a little more. comparing her with starflight im not sure how no one in canon could guess that she was half nightwing lol, although i sort of like that!

___

generally, apart from maybe sunny, i want to make these designs more unique and reminiscent of my own. fiddling around with colours and such... the characters are a lot less same-facey than they used to be years ago but i want to play with those shapes even further.

anyhow, thank you for reading this far if anyone did!

[yuukei-yikes]

REASONS TO LOVE SHINTARO AS A CHARACTER:

first of all; hes a gamer boy depicted as he really is and not what he thinks he is: a fucking loser who fails at every social situation and also stinks

aside from the jokes, i think he has two main songs in the whole series: toumei answer and lost time memory. im just gonna share lyrics from each song that makes me go INSANE thinking about him:

"The alarm that starts ringing/Says to my lonely self: you're a coldhearted fool" <- his guilt here is delicious to me like he blames himself for her death and yes he did act shitty and he abandoned her but he didnt do it out of malice he did it bc he didnt know how to approach her but he thinks he killed her and its also killing him OUGH

"The color of your hair/The shape of your smile/Someone might have already forgotten it" <- and then HES the one who forgets everything about ayano bc of the trauma like here he laments that her absence that has already changed his entire world might be this insignificant to someone else AND YET AND YET HIS MIND LOCKS HER OUT ITS JUST. OUGH

(NOT TO MENTION HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION WHEN HE SEES THE FLOWERS WHEN HE REALIZES WHEN HE SEES THE PAPER CRANE)

(get ready for lost time memory brainrot bc that kills me every fucking time its my fav song)

"Even after years, the shadow doesn't fade/It only invites more emotions." <- he doesnt remember but the absence is heavy on his mind it KILLS me

"If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward/I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead." <- self destructive EVEN in the good route where hes not as suicidal like being self deprecating is a huge part of his brain

"Feeling hazy, let's remain unaffected today too/And keep up yesterday's pace/So that I won't ever forget your warmth/If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then/I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from" <- GOING INSANE GOING FERAL hes SO FULL OF REGRET and hes SUCH A STUPID BITCH that his solution is to stay in his own head and live in his dreams (literally) like i want to hug him and i want to slap him

"A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again/While clinging on to your colorful smile" <- just imagining how route X shintaro is often colored with black and dull colors bc his world has lost the color OUGH

(god just. the ending part where he desperately reaches out to clutch ayano vs him moving on from the tragedy and the proud and tearful smile of ayano just HNNGGH HE REALLY GREW DIDNT HE)

(and who cant relate to wanting to change things bc u lost ur chance before but u cant change anything so u just disappear into ur head trying to either comfort urself by daydreaming or trying to find other stuff, try to forget ur will and wallow in passivity, its just so *chefs kiss*)

i get it hes not a very likable person and he does act shitty and bratty and the anime really doesnt give him the floor to change BUT!!! give him a chance and he WILL become ur poor little meow meow. guaranteed.

reply under read more cuz this should be its own post!! and also all i gotta say is YESSSS YEEEES YESSSSS shintaro is. such a good character and i also wanna cry my eyes out with EVERYTHING abt lost time memory.

he's just a stupid guy and the thing abt shintaro is that he will ALWAYS do what's right. he has a very strong sense of justice and he's very clear on his principles. and he will always speak up for others and stand up for what he thinks is right. and this like... a HILARIOUS virtue for a character who is ALSO so awkward, difficult to approach, bratty and self centered. like that's so funny.he is such a special little guy and HE IS AWESOME

he's so cringe fail and an asshole but he's also the hero and deserves praise for it. like cry about it. he is a good guy but he's also the worst. but also he's the best. hope that helps

he and ayano are such character foils... like.... both have this strong sense of justice and they're really really REALLY the damn heroes. hold on i need to cry a little

[krash-8]

talk shop tuesday! what do you think has shaped your current artstyle? has it derived from a certain media/fandom or came naturally? what's your favourite thing about your artstyle*?

*(the most important question)

hi vryfmi!!!! sorry I keep forgetting to answer my asks 😔😔

ok hmmm id say my style now definitely reaches back all the way to big nate as a kid lol, that's so far back but I cannot deny it. my simple doodles have spawned from that and there will never be any escape as long as my style evolves. it's still there today.

I also was inspired by cartoony comic books in general, 2d animated stuff like rottmnt, and 3d animated stuff with the hella cool texture like spiderverse !! definitely a LOT of general observation that worked it's way into my art too, thanks all you random artists I saw out of nowhere. I unconsciously put that stuff together and then built off of that :3 lots of experimentation

(my style is a bit different traditionally actually, I had to change my style once I started doing more digital to rely less on sketchy lines and paper texture to save me lol. but as of rn my style is pretty matched up on both mediums, except for a bit of a traditional advantage in sketching!!!)

ok ok the last part uhhhh I guess I like my faces I draw :] I try and make them really expressive and I'm pretty proud of my ability to do that, or at least I hope I do that lol, but im proud of my faces and I hope I get even better than i am now !! :33

yea here's my latest, koda and asher my little guys

tysm for the askkkk

[andro-dino]

furries have been on my brain so here are some shogun steel characters and what i think their species would be and why 1. Zyro is a black jaguar!! you are right axel he is pretty kitty but i feel like his backstory and personality fit a wildcat more. i like to imagine he dyes his fur orange to help him stand out cause he blends in with the dark so well haha

2. Maru is a hamster!! this one is mostly based on vibes teehee. she's just a little guy. pick her up and hold her in your palm 💞💞💞 i could also see her being a bear cub tbh, but i just like the image of her stuffing her face and her cheeks get all large as a hamster hehe.

3. Shinobu is an axolotl!! it's literally cause of his antenna hair i gotta be honest with you lol. but besides that i just feel like the colors of axolotls suit him and it's fuel for your mexican hcs cause axolotls are native to mexico 👀 (ive also imagined in this universe where instead of breaking his bones in canon he loses limbs and has to be in the hospital so he can safely regenerate them akdsjfasdfk)

4. the Unabara brothers are sea otters!! i mentioned before that kite's hair being urchin shaped reminds me of how sea otters eat urchins so i found it fitting. plus it fits with the aquatic theme they have going on. in japanese mythology otters were tricksters like kitsune and tanuki and that fits eight to a T. otters also hold hands to stay together in the water and that's soooo unabara-coded <333

5. Ren is a hunting dog, most likely a spaniel. not too certain on the specific breed yet but i like the brittany spaniel!! she just has that dog energy and i feel like her being a hunting dog can represent her rivalries with other bladers, like taka and genjuro (ik she barely has any in canon but let me dream okay 😔)

6. Taka is a leopard or spiny gecko!! dont really have a proper explanation for this one it's mostly just vibes as well, but i feel like you could compare him being a small lizard that easily "sticks" to people and is very loyal to sakyo, who in a way is like a direct opposite to him.

7. speaking of, Sakyo is a maned wolf/dragon hybrid!!! you mentioning sakyo as a maned wolf lit a lightbulb in my head how does it feel to be so right. i feel like you can really dive into his identity as a descendant of the dragon clan with him visibly being half-dragon too yk. just in general it fits his supposedly menacing aura yet when you get to know him he's just silly and kind of a loser lmao. him and zyro's rivalry is so perfect too cause jaguars are the maned wolf's biggest predator! (plus imagining victoria as a really tall maned wolf 😳 like heeeey girl /j)

8. Kira is a wolfdog!! specifically a high content wolfdog (he has more wolf dna than dog). i chose wolfdog specifically because him being part dog really emphasizes his upbringing in dna to me, and how he still genuinely yearns for connection and a home. i like to think he just calls himself a wolf and ignores his dog heritage cause he doesnt want to seem weak or subservient, and eventually he learns to be proud of his dog attributes

i have more specifically for the rest of the dna bladers but i think ive written enough. hope you enjoy axel!!!!

AWAAAAAUUUUUUUU CHRIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSS IM CRYING REAL TEARS OVER THESE 😭💞💞💞💞💞

I’m too tired to be able to put all my thoughts abt these into full sentences but

AWAAUGGG. HAMPSTER. MARU. SO TRUE‼️‼️‼️

axolotl Shinobu losing full limbs and needing time to regenerate is so big brained you don’t understand (also fun fact I was briefly nicknamed axelotl so I have a connection with them that makes me particularly happy abt this one :] )

SEA OTTER UNABARASSSSSS 😭😭😭😭💞💞‼️‼️‼️ the little guys ever

DOGGIRL REN SO TRUE‼️‼️‼️ also her rivalries with taka and genjuro are very real and true TO ME I think about them soooo much

gecko taka forever 🫶 AND SAKYO OURGH!!!! lowkey kinda wanna draw his dragon maned wolf hybrid fursona (and also you are so right about maned wolf Victoria 😳)

ALSO. KIRA SAYING HES JUST A WOLF FIRST BUT ACCEPTING HIS DOG SIDE TOO LATER ON OURGH ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME /POS

[pepprs]

HI so… per my last post today i did nothing but play video game ♥️. i havent done a wobbledogs post in a couple weeks in bc i got an ear infection and then my wifi adapter broke lol but here are some dogs i have loved recently... (im leaving a lot out bc.. there have been SO many since my last post. but these are like my favorite favorites over the last couple weeks)

this is vasthy! idk why i love them so much i just think she looks rly cool. a lot of the dogs she’s related to look kinda similar but.. idk she specifically just rly grew on me :D

this is PIGLET and they are just a happy little guy!! i wasnt expecting to love him so much but their pinkiness just makes me so happy and i love his little eye shape (it’s charlotte’s! in fact i may be wrong but he might be descended from her now that i think abt it? which would be funny bc of charlottes web lol charlotte and then a pig….) and also he was always just super friendly w the other dogs lol. i just loved having him around. an all around good guy

this is BEAK!!! i dont have many good pictures of her and u cant really tell from this one but she is my first dog who got honest to goodness horns out of nowhere…. and she has a UNICORN HORN at that! ive tried to keep horns on her offspring but i havent been successful yet and its rly frustrating lol but i will work on it

this is beanie! i think she’s piglet’s descendant somehow.. just an all around cool pup who loved holding dirt in her mouth <3

this is dumbo (named for those GIGANTIC wings) and he is the wobbledog equivalent of the get stickbugged meme lol. he had a difficult life bc as he got older he had trouble walking around bc his body got so long and his wings were so huge and his legs couldnt support him. so he would just do a lot of flips to move around and get stressed out all the time and i caught him in some funny poses (like the one pictured) but.. overall he did not have a good time. but i like him a lot and i wish i had done more to make sure he wasn’t in distress all the time

this is FLOCKA my absolute beloved!!!! (i FULLY meant to name him floppa after the meme bc of his coloring like the big cat… but i got it mixed up w flocka and by the time i realized my error "flocka” had already grown on me 💀💀💀) he only had 1 leg and he had a rude personality so instead of getting stressed he would get really angry.. and he absolutely STOLE my heart bc i started watching him rly closely and learning what would stress him out and removing the stressors before he could react to them badly! i was rly excited and proud of kinda coming up w a language to interact w each other... like he couldnt grab food a lot of the time so i would move it to this specific spot against his forehead that he would always get it from and things like that. idk i just love when dogs have like a unique personality or way of doing things that stands out and then i feel like i bond w them lol (throwback to charlotte 🥴) but thats flocka!

and THISSSSS is wammawink (solid green body, lighter red face... yes named after the centaurworld character 🥴) and her daughter wiggly (yellow hearts on green body, darker red / pink face)!!!!! wiggly is my first ever worm dog and bc of her i have completed every single achievement in the game except for one wing angel and i am SAURRR excited. wammawink only has two front legs (i kinda cheated by finding a dog code on the discord that i figured would give me a good chance of having offspring with 2 front legs 😭 but i nabbed her as soonas i saw her) and i had a TON of dogs w only two back legs to try to pair her with... it was actually soppy from one of my earlier posts who was the other parent to wiggly so that was rly cool since i loved them so much! i also am very amused / pleased that wiggly looks SO much like bambi.. like the same coloring and everything except bambi’s face is brown, same face shape and eye shape and pattern, etc.... so true of her <3

AND FINALLY!!!! LAST BUT NOT LEAST!!!!! IS MY BABY BOY CUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am OBSESSED with his nose and as soon as i saw it i knew i couldnt let him go. look at his little paws i am SICK!!!!!! look at his EARS! HIS EYES! HIS SNOUT!!! WAUGHGHGHGGHH!!!! BABY BOY BABY!!!!!!! the pictures dont convey it (also all of these are from before he was an adult bc i was so focused on getting a worm dog when he grew up lol.. as an adult his ears and nose turned into a light purple and im still not used to it) but cub is absolutely fucking LARGE. he is maybe my biggest dog ive ever had. he was already a pretty big puppy and he maybe tripled in size as he grew up to the point where he can’t really sit inside the den now without having to bend his head. also this was more exaggerated when he was a puppy / juvenile but when he flies his wings kinda.. jerk him backwards and all over the place and splay out his hind legs? and i am SO obsessed w it its the cutest thing ever in the whole world. i love himmmmm 💓💗💝❣️💖💞💗💓💞💝💖❣️💓💓💞💗💖💝❣️💓 (also he literally picked up the fucking VACUUM and was flying with it in the first pic. icon behavior)

[ask-warrior-jaypaw]

i’ve been wanting to do a design change for a while for a lot of the characters, mostly because the other designs were made years ago, but i didn’t have any other designs in mind to use. the designs i’m voting on here are for an animatic my sister is working on that i made the designs for, and decided i really liked

ignore the labels for these btw, again, they’re for an animatic, also for holly ignore the “i’m actually not part of the prophecy” design aspect because in this au, she is!!

since these designs are a LOT more complex than just different shaped fur (i,,, did not like having that be the only difference between characters, it felt lazy, but as mentioned before they were the only designs i had/could make up in enough time) the ask responses will take quite a bit longer. also, because i’m returning to full color as well as the addition of actually drawn backgrounds!!!!! (maybe shading tbh. i’m debating adding cell shading) it’s a big change for this blog. a lot of the other designs will be changed in similar manners, but these are the only relevant characters who i’ll be adding this for. a lot of my art style has changed as well and i’ve been hating drawing in the art style for the ask blog lol. i’m working on different shaped eyes (not rlly shown in these tho), different eyebrows, adding whiskers, different designs for ears, varying body types, etc. (ALSO ALSO the floppy ears are from firestar’s sister, princess, that squilf and lion both inherited)

and another thing sorry for adding so announcements here but asks are closed in relation to the longest night gathering!! you can ask questions in preparation for the next day, but before that, there is a thing i’m working on that i think you’ll all take interest in :)

ALSO ALSO ALSO HEHE DID YOU NOTICE THE THE THE JAY SYMBOLISM FOR JAYF. HE HAS A TAIL THAT LOOKS LIKE A JAY FEATHER AND HIS HUS HIS FACE HAS RHE JAY MARKINGS IM PROUD OF THAT ONE NGL

[cryptidofthekeys]

Spamton EX aka Devi

bkgfld;kfgdfs alright,, im posting him,, I probs forgot to re-edit and re-do some shit in the long run but if I did I’ll just,, clarify sometime later for now tho its time to stop letting my overthinking brain stop me from having fun bc Im,, genuinely proud of his design?? Felt like I was very wordy but,, I needed to be to fully describe this bastard

Anyways uh y’all finally get to see the lad!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

| Name: Devi 

| Nicknames: Dev/Devs, or Evi

| Gender: He/Him

| Age: Mid 30s/40s somewhere in there

| Height: 15ft

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| ‘Hair’ Color: It’s really just more fur in the shape of hair… But its color is black (he has a few gray streaks here and there, one that goes through the middle of his hair, and then gray on the sides) also his …er, fur-hair is p much a mullet

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| Eye Color: Cyber Green | he does wear the pink n yellow glasses tho and like og Spam you can see static in them sometimes, then they can go pitch black, and then the pink n yellow can swirl around but that’s uh hypnosis- don’t- don’t look at him when he’s doing this, it’s for your own good)

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| Skin Color/Body Type: He’s very large, like- he’s fat, I’ll say that- big man not only in height heh- and he’s also very strong too. Also his skin color,, well his face is p much just white but he’s got black fur going down his neck, in fact his entire body except for his arms are covered in fur.

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| Appearance: Oh this is going to be hell to describe but I’m gonna try my damnedest just,, bear with me p l e a s e- Okay, so I’ll start with the simplest things, he’s kind of a mixture between organic and non-organic for example his stomach, legs, and neck have the fur on it, the only difference is uh the neck fur that also goes up to his head and acts like a mullet was dyed black and the fluff all over his stomach and legs is white.

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His chest is just essentially like Sneo chestplate- which is where his arms come out of, and also in the middle of the chestplate is basically just a fucking b i g compartment like thingy, you can see the big heart behind glass almost like a display case situation.

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(the heart’s blue like all of them are, it’s got darker blue cracks, then its eyes are a swirling mix of Pink n Yellow, neon to be more specific, even its mouth is neon yellow and it’s got razor sharp teeth, pointed nose, ya know the usual) The chestplate is like weirdly,, built ONTO his body.

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I forgot gjhfkdgfjd the BIG heart is what you mainly see but in the back you can see about mm six sets of eyes and grins both on the left and right side of the main heart (Seven heart creatures in total if you include the main one)

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Then he wears a bright pink peacoat that he usually keeps unbuttoned around his chest (don’t wanna cover up the heart…s also don’t ask me how he gets it over the big shoulder pads that extend from the chestplate he just does)

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He wears pink and yellow pants over his legs (his face is just,, ya know, the puppet part …he's a weird lil freak to describe and also his hands are technically the puppet part as well but I’ll explain those in a bit)

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I should also say that his arms can stretch almost in a cartoony manner …But they do have their limits of course and finally he wears a pink high heel on the right foot and a yellow high heel on the left foot (the heels stretch all the way up to his knees btw)

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God,, the details are gonna be the death of me but I’m trying my best to explain what the fuck is in my head right now- Okay so uh, onto something I can actually handle, his right arm can actually slip back into the chestplate and then somehow change into the canon arm that Sneo has.

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His hands like I said are also the puppet parts much like his face, his fingers are just straight up claws, he has two sets of fangs both top and bottom (his teeth can retract though, otherwise he looks uh WAY more unapproachable and less friendly, can’t scare the customers off now can he?)

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He has a long tongue that’s prehensile (he can fuckin grab and hold shit with that thing, does it mostly just to be a lil shit and gross some people out) also has p much a five o’clock shadow on his face …I don’t care that he’s got a puppet face, mans got FACIAL HAIR and thats final-

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Btw Idk if I said this bc I’ve been all over the place but uh that lil glass holding the heart inside that compartment thingy,, uh it can open btw (Devi keeps it STRICTLY closed unless he needs some reinforcements to help him take care of someone that screwed him over or some shit but other than that, those things seem to have minds of their own.)

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They can be the most dangerous thing that I’d say Devi has bc those things will just bite or try to tear someone apart for no reason, Devi does have his ways of getting them to stop though, he threatens to button up his coat and cover them up which they seem to hate.

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Devi also has some really thick and large black eyebrows too (...its funny bc I think of that one audio where its like ‘what the hell are you doing’ ‘i am doing my eyebrows’ ‘that’s a big ass mirror’ ‘well I have BIG ASS EYEBROWS’) motherfuckers like damn caterpillars on his face

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I had another outfit idea for him and I am NOT going back to re-edit this shit, its already a fucking mess and I just hope you can understand this shit tbh I’m all over the place and I REALLY don’t mean to be I’m just trying to describe what my brain sees

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but the other outfit fits more with his computer vibes, and I might just state it here that this is his main outfit and the other is a secondary outfit, he likes to match his aesthetics ya know- but anyways- it's just like a long black coat with 1s and 0s on it and then neon cyber green pants and of course heels to match that outfit (one black, one neon cyber green)

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| Personality: Devi can be a gross bastard and sometimes be a bit of an asshole but deep down, when you get past his big shot, his hot shot attitude, that HUGE ego of his he’s actually very sweet, kind, and caring (if you can put up with his ego AND the bit of a God Complex he’s got) out of ALL the EXs out there, he is by far the LEAST murderous.

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I’m not saying he won’t hurt or kill because he ABSOLUTELY will if it means defending himself and or if you screw with him, you screw him over and he won’t hesitate to pull out that canon arm or better yet, let those feral lil hearts of his out to ‘play’ heh, he’s a scammer, a con artist who runs a PC Shop/Fixes up PCs for people essentially, he usually ‘fixes’ their PCs if ya know what I mean. (He doesn’t do it too much or to the same person of course, can’t let ‘em catch on ya know?)

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He also builds ‘em, he KNOWS the ins and outs of a computer v e r y damn well, he’s the most skilled in his area and the one everyone HAS to come to, even if they are intimidated by his height alone (...not the only thing SOME are intimidated by but uh, I have to keep that info redacted) he’s a HUGE flirt, he flirts with anyone and everyone (unless they tell him to stop, he respects those kinds of boundaries ya know?)

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He can’t take any flirting, compliments, etc thrown back though if he loves said person that he’s flirting with, with anyone else he can p much just laugh and say something along the lines of “OH YA W I S H YOU COULD BE WITH A REAL [[BIG SHOT]] LIKE ME DON’T’CHA, BABES~?” but if it's the one he fell in love with? He will fucking MELT, his face will turn bright red and you’ll see him let off steam, no- literally- like one of those funky lil cartoons.

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Another way to tell he’s sweet on ya is if he actually fixes your PC and nothing goes wrong with it, like if he actually fixes it- And hell, he’ll even do something he’d NEVER do for just anyone 1: Either give you an actual discount or 2: literally if he sees your PC is a bit… Outta style, outta date- with your approval of course he will genuinely build you a new computer, free of charge and don’t worry about any files from your old, he’ll take care of it.

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Devi might be an asshole who needs vibes checked but, deep down he’s good, he really is sweet, caring- and if he loves you, hell even if he just likes ya well enough to be pals, friends- well you’re in good hands for sure, he’ll treat you well.

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| Side Facts: Devi loves to make games and or SFM type animations in his spare time but shares his work with nobody, he’s actually very self conscious of his work so if he does share it with you? Friend or Lover? That is an INCREDIBLE amount of trust he has for you and that’s a very rare thing bc Devi doesn’t trust mm many,, at all- Has his fears and anxieties, doesn’t seem to like the subject of betrayal or anything like that.

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…Don’t mention the Addisons around him btw, he’ll get REALLY angry and pissy, if your his friend/lover he’ll TRY to keep cool but if you keep pushing his buttons well he might snap at you anyways but for the most part he’ll just be like

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“SWEET’EART… [P l e a s e  S t o p] BRINGIN’ THAT UP… BRINGING… [T h e m] UP, I DON’T WANNA TALK ‘BOUT ‘EM” he’ll try to ask nicely and politely for ya to stop, its best to leave well enough alone ya know? …Very specifically,, uh- He gets WAY more angry if Pink’s brought up but he seems less angry if Blue’s brought up, maybe even a lil… Sad.

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Devi’s fave kinda games to make are open world sandbox-esque games, rhythm games, and even platformers, he loves to play games too, especially classic games- …Also he makes mods for games out there too (he’s got an account that doesn’t link to him at all, he wants to make sure nobody finds that out) but here’s where the lil shit side of him comes to play (cause he is such a fucking shithead) he can make genuine mods.

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Like GENUINELY good mods for games but then he can make the most cursed and stupidest shit, like think of that Stardew mod, the grandpa IS the bed mod- yeah, shit like that to make people just go wtf, w h y? For WHAT reason? …Hell, he’ll even mod rhythm sections into games that REALLY don’t need them at all, and he WON’T make them optional (and he even adds cryptic titles to some of his mods just like ‘Have fun ;)’

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Devi is very touch starved tbh, he loves to give and receive affection from the beloved, he loves belly rubs (not,, in a weird sorta way) it just feels nice on his fluff ya know? Hell he likes being petted, scritches, etc- He might crush you in a hug if not careful though, gotta give him a gentle reminder bout them hugs...

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Cause sometimes he forgets how strong he REALLY can be compared to most Darkners and Lightners, also if he doesn’t crush you, you’ll sink into that plush fur of his (DON’T SUCCUMB TO THE FLUFF, DON’T SUCCUMB TO THE FLUFF, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T SINK IN, YOU’LL BE LOST FOREVER)

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Devi loves to cuddle very much so, will place you on his stomach if you two fall asleep together, doesn’t trust himself if you just lay beside him to not roll over and he would be fucking DEVASTATED if he crushed you or hurt you, he’d never forgive himself…

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Also whenever Devi grins, his teeth tend to pop out- it’s something he can’t help so just keep that in mind if ya hear a strange noise from him but also if you don’t mind them, if you’re not scared of his fangs n shit he’ll let them stay out regardless around you (lmao look at this how to train your dragon lookin ass)

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Devi is Pansexual, doesn’t care about gender, if he loves ya- he loves ya, wants to marry you? Y e s, gender is a irrelevant to him in these regards, love is love-

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Devs can be VERY overprotective and if you need him to, just say the word- he’ll kill for ya- like when I say LEAST murderous EX I mean in the fact that he doesn’t kill for FUN, he doesn’t get any joy or fun outta killing or anything like that- but if someone’s messing with ya? “Well don’t ya [Why Worry?!] sweet’eart, Devi’ll [Takin’ care of business] for ya!” …You don’t want him to? Okay, he’ll back off as per your want …But, uh behind your back or when you’re not looking he’ll scare the shit out of them at the VERY least (it depends on what they did…)

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And if they did or said some real bad shit? …Well there’ll be some missing posters around but he’ll deny he had anything to do with that, he does this out of love- I swear, he’s just very overprotective and wants to keep you safe and sound and it means bustin’ a few heads? ...Well he won’t hesitate ...Bitch.

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Btw the hearts, the big heart and then the six little ones- feral as shit, rip and t e a r!!! They are the most bloodthirsty part but they are sentient, their own beings in a weird sorta way- or at least, they have their own mind- Devi makes sure they don’t get outta hand though, he threatens to button up his coat and block their view of the outside world …Which they take seriously, almost seeming scared even.

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Whether it be friends or lovers- the hearts will be more okay with you if a friend, they’ll get along with you just like Devi does, if lovers (in fact you’ll notice if their out, they’ll blush along with him) granted he’ll be EXTREMELY nervous and absolutely refusing if you want him to let them out to get a better look at them, he’ll try to work around it, make some kinda, ANY kinda deal, but eventually he’ll relent if your persistent- but to his surprise they won’t hurt you at all.

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In fact, they’ll even wrap around you which scares the shit out of Devi the first time around and he almost tries to grab them and shove them back in before he notices their not hurting you, they are just giving you gentle nose nuzzles and making little kissy sounds at you which surprises the absolute hell out of him, he’s only EVER seen those lil shitheads be aggressive n mean.

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Only downside is they’ll be v e r y aggressive and possessive with anyone else who tries to get close to you, they’ll hiss and or growl or even snarl. …Devi will try to keep them sorted out though (even tho technically speaking he does get a wee bit jealous and protective if he sees someone getting too close to you for his liking)

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Likewise, Devi does get jealous, oh he does even though he’ll deny it and take that denial to his fucking grave, he just doesn’t like anyone that he deems getting a bit too close to you for comfort but likewise if you tell him to relax and or to back off, he will stop, he doesn’t wanna upset ya or anything like that (its not that he doesn’t trust you or some weird shit like that, it actually just plays into a fear/insecurity of his so OOF)

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Btw,, I forgot to add, he has another pair of glasses aside from the Pink n Yellow ones that he’ll usually wear to match his computery-esque outfit, it's a pair of Black n Green tinted cat eye sunglasses.

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Also bc I cut a lotta shit out of this version that I didn’t feel comfy with sharing,, I think I forgot to add his lil tail in? A fluffy stubby tail that he has, he doesn’t like letting anyone see it, cause he ain’t cute! He’s big n tough, and he’ll kick your ass ...(not really) there’s a lotta shit that got cut out and just edited down to keep it as simple as I could.

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Idk if I added this, sorry if I add more of the same shit in I just don’t fully remember what shit I cut out and didn’t but Devi does v e r y much love his cigars, he smokes not only to help calm his nerves but also just smokes because he enjoys it, also enjoys being a goddamn asshole and blowing smoke in people’s faces ...Sometimes.

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Devi’s shop is of course located in Cyber City (I do not have a name for his funky lil pc shop or anything, listen y’all I am s o bad with naming things, im very lucky my EX got an actual name)

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Speaking of EXs, Devi has never canonically met another EX but he knows there’s others like him out there, he does know they exist, he’s never gotten the chance to meet one but he’s neutral on the matter, if he meets one he does, if he doesn’t, oh well ....Secretly thinks about what that’d be like and just how weird it’d be to see another EX.