#also interpret his talk of john how u want

[emiliosandozsequence]

Your choice of SPN character has been hit with a curse of Endless Chatter. Write one run-on sentence of dialogue for them (until your own stream-of-consciousness runs out!).

Sam Winchester - s8 finale

A confession. I have a lot to confess, don't I. More than most anyway. I mean, how many people can say they started the apocalypse. Granted, I guess I stopped it too, but not before a lot of people had already lost their lives, lost loved ones. And that's on me; that's something I can't ever take back. I'm the one that chose to trust a demon and drink her blood. It doesn't matter the rest of the details that led up to the final decision to open the gates of Hell. If I'd just been smarter, it wouldn't have happened.

And that's what matters.

If I'd been smarter, I would've known Ruby was planning to free Lucifer. Hell, if I'd been smarter, I would've listened to Dean in the first place and not trusted her at all. I would've shot her with the Colt in that motel room in the first time she showed her black eyes to me in Cicero. But I didn't, and, again, that's what matters.

That isn't even all I've done.

I've failed the world and, indeed, those I love most more times than I can count. I might be able to forgive myself if they were able to forgive me, but it's evident from how things always get brought up that they haven't and, at this point, probably won't. I can hardly blame them because I understand where they're coming from. I can't say I would be too forgiving myself in their position. I mean...would I really have been able to forgive Dean if he'd gone off to college at eighteen and left me alone with Dad? Maybe that's why Dean's still so mad about that: not becaus I left for college, but because I left for college and he was still with Dad. He'd never admit it, though. He'd never say outloud that Dad was anything but a saint to him. He forgets I was there. He forgets I know differently. He forgets I experienced it too. And maybe that's why I can't forgive myself either. Why everything else I've ever done to wrong him - or that he's perceived as me wronging him - has hit both of us so hard: because I know what I did by leaving him behind with Dad. So that's my greatest sin, I guess. Every time I let Dean down. Every time I ran from him when I should have stayed. Every time I chose myself instead of him when he's chosen me every time he's ever had to make any choice ever. And, really, how can I forgive myself? How can I look myself in the mirror and grin at my reflection knowing all that? Knowing that it effects Dean enough that he still brings it up to this day? Could you? If I'm honest with myself, I don't know if I ever will. I don't know if I even can. But I suppose this can be a start. I can make this confession and finish these trials and do better every day to show Dean how sorry I am. How much I won't let this happen again. Maybe then he can heal. Maybe then he can forgive me too. And if I can't forgive myself, then, well, this is the next best thing.

[mayimkjs]

A Comprehensive Guide to Which Kayano is the Killer

This is like, an entire section of FOOL's MATE so this will probably change. I'm probably not going to update this post, but if your interested in seeing if anything's changed, I encourage you to look at the research doc. This section also has a lot of things that were taken from replies to a post I made on Reddit back in February. All contributors will be credited.

Overall, what this post is, is a compilation of all the theories I've seen about who did what.

Intro

There’s no way to know who committed the murder yet. There are multiple possibilities of who is the culprit. 

We also don’t know how recent all of the murders are. It seems that Mikoto was working right up until he wound up in MILGRAM it seems. Some of the murders do seem fairly recent (ie. Fuuta is still shaken up, Muu saying “before I knew it, I was here” during her first interrogation when asked about the police).

Who is the victim? How many people were killed?

I believe that only one person was killed. In each MV, we only see one person directly killed. All of the mannequins in Double could represent how many people caused him to break due to stress. Here is a list of possible victims, ranked by how likely they are.

His boss (Chief / チーフ)

One of his coworkers

A gang member

A stalker

An abuser

A random person

His dad

Other Alters

Why is his boss the most likely victim?

MILGRAM is careful about giving people names, even if it's something as simple a nickname. He’s the only other name we’ve seen in Mikoto’s story. We’ve also only ever seen one other person. This might be his boss. 

John

John is Telling the Truth

Even though Mikoto is the prisoner, John committed the murders. There are 2 possible reasons for Mikoto being the prisoner in this theory.

MILGRAM isn’t working correctly as it’s never had to deal with someone with DID and thus, marking the host as the prisoner and letting John do as he pleases. 

Since Es, Jackalope and Mikoto didn’t know he had DID, Mikoto is treated as the prisoner since he is the host. (u/Nekokittykun)

He doesn't remember details due to being in some type dissociative or otherwise non-coherent state.

John Forced the Other Alters into Dormancy

A theory that sprung up after the release of Double as none of the mannequins have faces. They’re season 2 trailer line can also be interpreted as John talking about the other alters, right before he attempted to get rid of them all. In Double, the majority of the mannequins appear in the train, which is likely representative of Mikoto’s mind. Then John breaks and "kills" them. 

John might not have killed anyone.

Why is it that MILGRAM treats Mikoto as the prisoner if John is the one that committed the murders? It could be what was just mentioned, or he didn't do it. There are several holes in John’s story; he just killed whoever and does not remember how many he killed. This would leave Mikoto or Midokoto to be the culprit. 

The reason why John acts aggressive, is because he thinks that's the best thing to do to protect Mikoto.

Mikoto as the Culprit

Mikoto killed someone and John is taking the blame. His actions caused him so much stress that John was born. Some scenes in Double that add to this are:

The scene after he gets off the phone with his mom, Mikoto is surrounded by blood and he quickly switches to John.

When Mikoto and John communicate, all of the blood is in Mikoto’s shot. 

There are multiple variations of this theory. 

Why he Can’t Remember

The murder was traumatic to the point of John being born to handle the trauma of Mikoto’s crime and holding all his memories of the murder. John only has hazy memories of the crime and this could explain that. He knows what he did is wrong so he wants to make himself out to Es as the ideal monster that needs to be slain. (u/Sleepy-Head999)

An extension of the last theory, John is trying to cover for Mikoto to protect him. He’s trying to make himself look bad even though he technically didn't do anything. 

He knows what he did but he can't physically remember what happened because it triggers a switch due to stress or he just doesn't remember it. 

Mikoto is very clever and manipulative. He's actually confident about his talents and abilities and knows how to deal with people. He’s been lying the entire time. (u/Chareste17)

Despite John saying that Mikoto would have reached his limit if he hadn't been born, Mikoto actually did reach his limit. Mikoto killed someone because of it, and John was born from that.

Why Did He Do It

Because he feels he has no control over his life whatsoever, he did it as an unhealthy way to forcefully gain control. 

He snapped from the stress. 

Midokoto as the Culprit

Mido manipulated John to commits the murders. He turned all of his pent up emotions into a weapon to get what he wanted. 

Multiple Culprits

Joint Effort Between John and Mido

In MeMe, it seems John and Midokoto are working together. John does the deed and Mido deals with the cleanup and aftermath. There are 2 variations of what happens next.

They are working together to keep this from Mikoto. Mido also has gave John special treatment, as seen in the lyrics to MeMe. 

Mido was watching John and suddenly stepped in to deal with the aftermath because he didn't trust John to deal with it. 

“Joint Effort” Between John and Mikoto

Mikoto briefly fronted when John was about to kill someone. During the murder scene in MeMe, the first time the train passes, it goes left. The second time it passes, it goes right. Using the train directions from Double, this means that Mikoto was in front. He either thought he was in a dream so he swung the bat or John was in the process of swinging the bat. Midokoto or John quickly fronted to deal with the damage. This would make Mikoto a culprit. 

Mikoto Started the Attack, John Finished

This explains that shot in Double where the background is white but the person in the scene is John. Mikoto initiated the kill, and John fronted in the middle of the swing. u/madokabri

Mikoto killed one person, John continued to kill

Mikoto first snapped and killed someone out of his pent up stress. The murder was traumatic to the point of John being born to handle the trauma of Mikoto’s crime and holding all his memories of the murder. He saw that it helped Mikoto in some way, so he continued to kill people who bothered Mikoto a dangerous amount. MILGRAM is judging Mikoto on his one murder which he doesn't remember due to John holding those memories. 

Mikoto is Responsible but John Committed the Murders

Mikoto is what caused John to kill in the first place. Due to Mikoto not creating proper boundaries with others, things kept getting piled on top of him until the stress was to the point where John was born. John doesn't remember exactly what happened because he might have just been born.

In MILGRAM, you just need to be responsible for someone’s death. Mikoto would also be a witness, and if you are a witness but don't do anything, you will be considered an accomplice to the crime.

u/Nekokittykun

Mikoto was being Blackmailed

In Japan, getting fired puts a stain on your record and makes it extremely difficult to find a new job. Getting fired by a top-tier advertising agency would be even worse. It would destroy any chance of Mikoto gaining any opportunities for the rest of his career. So his victim had evidence of him doing something unfavorable. 

Him and the victim met up to talk about the blackmail and it escalated to the point were Mikoto killed him. He brought the bat just in case something happened where he had to defend himself. After he realized what he did, John fronts to take care of the rest. When Mikoto wakes up the next day, he can disregard it as a bad dream.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e4 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

it's been a busy week since last thursday and shit's only gonna get busier for me after tomorrow so hopefully i can get through these two episodes out before i go to bed lol!!! anyway once again these posts are just me rambling so i can process the insane amount of information in these episodes and if u want to read them too that's fine.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

rip everyone who wanted homoerotic sword fighting in the gentebeard reunion. have a headbutt as a consolation prize.

obsessed with stede holding raw room-temperature meat against his bruised face bc that's not even a little bit how that works. i love this show.

ok so jim saying "he'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested" in response to stede saying ed needs to regain his strength actually gives some pretty good context to why they want ed of the ship so bad. bc they DID fully try to kill ed and now he's here and alive and like. if i were jim i would be pretty worried abt ed holding a grudge abt that.

wont lie stede being like "we dont just banish people, that's not us!" makes me thinkg abt how they fully banished izzy from the ship in e6. i mean technically izzy banished himself on accident but. lol.

also izzy's absence in this scene indicating he is not yet considered part of the entire crew

roach: i need that steak back, it's dinner stede: (pulling the steak away) oh, right fang: maybe let's put the banishment to a vote? stede: (steak back on his face, apparently having forgotten he was literally just about to give the meat to roach) aw do we have to :(

ed chained to the ship is doing. a lot for me. i wont lie.

buttons saying he's been to the gravy basket a few times... how many times has this man almost died??????

it is deeply funny to me that they edit the split second flashback of the drowning and mermaid hallucination to look all creepy as if that whole scene wasn't set to an incredibly sappy 80's love song (said with immense affection)

OBSESSED with stede trying to be like. encouraging to izzy. and being like "he cant hear you he's got no head" about izzy yelling at the ruined figurehead. this fucking dork.

so ive seen ppl talking abt how the crew's in a deadlock abt banishing ed and which ppl they think were pro-banishment and which were against, but the scenes with the crew make it look like everyone's voting for ed to get kicked out. so tbh i think like either of the following interpretations are pretty valid: the crew is split 50/50 on if they should banish ed OR the crew 100% wants to banish ed and stede was gonna try and leverage izzy's vote to try and get more ppl to change their mind. doesnt rlly matter either way tho

also the fact that izzy was the one to keep ed's body is. interesting. the others must've known abt it and helped izzy hide the body in the secret room. but izzy being the one to be like "no we're not throwing him overboard" is. something. no conclusions abt this atm im just rotating this fact in my brain.

i also just have a lot of thoughts abt the mutiny and the fact that like, jim's a trained assassin and the others are also pretty experienced killers and they probably knew they hadn't completely finished the job. and there was plenty of opportunity for them to do something about that. but instead they hid his body and waited for ed to succumb to his injuries. it feels kinda like ed's "technically i outsource the big job" rule. idk. thoughtssss.

frenchie in this scene is so funny bc he seems both actually apologetic abt kicking ed off the ship but also very relieved/vindicated to see him go.

didnt realize olu almost said smthng to ed lol i thought ed was just saying "fuck you" to him for no reason ghfjkghjkfh

"first time i've ever been on this side of a walk of shame" wee john i have so many questions. how many times have you been banished from a ship.

obsessed with archie just being like "way to make this awkward brah." her shitty boss put her life at risk in an attempt to make her and her coworkers kill him in a weird roundabout suicide attempt and her summary of the situation is "well, this is awkward :/"

"shitty sailing with you" sick burn, jim

"you're making it really hard to look up to you, man" LOVE how black pete is still a blackbeard stan. despite everything.

just ONCE i want someone to appreciate roach's sandwiches :(

"dont you want your sammy" STEDE I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

also i disagree with the subtitles here im like 99% sure says "you're no fuckin mermaid" not "you're not a fuckin mermaid" but that's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stede looks SO sad abt not being a mermaid

love how everyone in this episode just sort of nods and is like "yeah okay" every time buttons tells them he's turning into a bird

altho with stede in this scene specifically im convinced that he's just jumping at the chance to follow ed to the island. he was absolutely gonna come up with some shitty excuse to go ashore anyway but it's nice of buttons to give him plausible deniability

i love how much ed hates nature

why do the subtitles say "gyp-" this has been bothering me all week. the line is "like a drifter"

i also love ed's line delivery of "a wolf?"

anyway dumb posts abt the spider tattoo backstory: 1, 2, 3

i love to see ed getting hugs... wish i could give him a hug :(

ok also buttons talking abt the gravy basket made me think ed needed like some sort of spell or smthng to snap out of it but instead it just kinda wore off by the end of the episode (maybe, depends on how you read the whole buttons turning into a bird scene). this is very funny to me for some reason

anne rubbing the cup she's holding against her tit. queen.

stede bonnet idiot dumbfuck moments

i LOVE anne's line delivery of "eddie motherfuckin teeeeach" like yeah that's cj's girl alright. or was cj's girl. who knows.

SECRET HANDSHAKE im cryinggggg. i love them.

stede's voice sounds so weird when he says "i wasn't looking for you" and that's because he's fucking lying through his teeth

LOVE how anne and mary look at each other after the "shipmates" "former" interaction like they are immediately on the same wavelength. and that wavelength is fucking with ed and his ex. they sniffed out a messy relationship dynamic and were like "oh hell yeah we need more of this in our lives"

ed is SO bitchy this whole scene i fucking love it. ed's face when he says "him?" fdhjksgfjhdgkj

ed: whatever 🙄 anne: whatever? 👀 mary: whatever! 😈

wee john getting more goth is so good

drunk izzy rambling at the ship's figurehead is so funny to me tho i miss drunk izzy

ed's crew lady macbeth "out damned spot" moments

i like how there's a goat in the background of this scene in anne and mary's house and it is unexplained and also never seen again.

ed's face after stede says "that's romance" is soooo good this bitch is so pissed. like oh would you have met me at the docs if i peeled the guard's face off instead of just paying him off? is that what fuckin does it for you???? not that it matters bc i dont care. but. cunt.

yeah im just focusing in on all of ed's faces in this scene. "quite the shift going from wearing people's faces to antique collectors" gets ed to freeze in the middle of bringing his drink up to his lips and just kinda stare off into the distance.

"how did you meet" has ed kind of frowning for a split second before stede starts answering and then he rolls his eyes very dramatically and sighs deeply

ed immediately being like "actually i was gonna kill him myself!" trying to undermine stede's meet-cute story. also anne and mary nodding along in complete unison bc this is just normal pirate conversation to them.

~~~

also as someone who has been team "no ed was dead serious abt the plan to steal stede's identity" this was very vindicating for me. it's a bad plan and it doesn't make any sense but logistics literally dont matter in this show. what matters is giving this story the "falling for the mark" trope makes ed's character arc in season 1 that much tastier!!!!

ed and stede going back and forth telling their story i cant fucking wait until theyre happily together telling this story and instead of ed trying to downplay it and ruin the meet-cute-iness of it they're just building on each other and being sappy and adorable

"more like i relented" one of the biggest lies i've ever heard this man say fjhkgjkfdhk

"until he completely boned it" SAY IT. FUCKING SAY IT. SOOOOO TRUE ED.

auauhghgh the beard bit......... crying

THE!!!!! QUIETEST LITTLE "thank you" OF ALL TIME. TIED MAYBE WITH ED SAYING "thank you" AFTER "i think you're very sophisticated" IN 1.05

i dont blame stede for trying to get ed to open up right after that bc that was the first bone ed's thrown stede's way since he woke up. unfortunately ed is not in the mood to talk abt his near-death experience and mermaid hallucination sequence.

LOVE anne's little gesture when she says "rabbit" and the little hip cocking

stede being like "uhhhh we could leave" during the knifeplay exhibitionism moment

i giggle every time at the way the crew is instantly like "fuck closing our eyes we're doing any fucking surprises"

ngl idgw the crew yelled abt the piñata reveal. but ok

loooove stede's half of the crew just blowing past all the screaming and tension from ed's half. jim screams "STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" abt the blindfold and roach is like "you won't want to stay the fuck away from this caaaake!" like roach fdhsjfgdhfjkghkj read the room?????

i love how much stede just. completely misses all of annie's flirting

ed coughing during the blunt session i love himmmmm

ok but ed's trying to be like "im totally over stede i dont even like him" and then ed reminiscing fondly with a distant smile abt the 1.06 stabbing scene

"and that was the... second time you left your wife?" underrated line

love how annie's been all quiet and seductive and then when she goes to make her move she's just like "WOUND THIS" and aggressively sits in stede's lap

also ok. "they're gonna be so jealous" is that annie talking abt ed and mary or is that annie using they/them pronouns for mary.

BUTTONS JUMPSCARE

also i love how they have that one medusa painting just. in their kitchen. im obsessed with the interior decor of this lesbian antique store that annie and mary live in

the way she's so touched by the poisoning attempt hjfgfjksghskjhgjkh

buttons being like "aahhhhhh do i give her... this bowl......????" fhjkghkfsjhk

"yeah, babe" TEALORANGES WIN

im honestly sad izzy's pathetic wet beast moment only really went for like three tiny scenes in one episode bc this shit was so funny to me. crawling away saying "you're born alone you die alone" over and over again. sir what are you even doing.

god buttons in this episode is so fucking funny bc i keep forgetting he's there. also why is he even there. like was he even invited to dinner or did he just sit down and annie and mary were like "oh ok i uh. guess we'll go make another plate??"

ed's face after buttons says the bit abt "i can tell this rabbit was intelligent" is soooo funny why is he so fucking pissed fdhsjkgyjdfkghjk

NO WAIT HE'S PISSED BC THAT WAS HIS FRIEND. THAT WAS HIS FRIEND THE WOLF HE WAS TELLING HIS SECRETS. NOW IM KINDA SAD :(:(:(

stede talking abt the sea when what he's actually talking abt is ed part 2 electric boogaloo

ed very calmly. standing up. and smashing the chair. im obsessed with him.

stede bonnet stupid dumbass moments

IMPROMPTU BLANKET FORT TIME

ed's voice is so quiet at the start of this scene he's not even yelling at stede until stede says "it's not fair" ohhhhhh my babygirl is so fucking sad........

"you ditching me without a note or anything" ed's literacy confirmed

"expecting me to just melt back into your arms" eddie my man. stede has not given literally any indication that he expected this at all. you are telling on yourself fhdjskghfkjshd

this scene is so fucking good i barely have anything to say abt it. just. u can rlly tell david jenkins wrote this ep himself lolll

"i was all in, mate. i was all in." IM SOBBING

oh nooooo i forgot that ed's line delivery of "im sorry my horrible naked chin disgusts you so much" isnt actually as sarcastic as the words itself make it seem. like it feels like ed wanted to say that all angrily and bitter but instead he just sounds sadddddd

ok ok but the way stede says "i love your chin naked or otherwise" and then after a pause (during which ed is keeping INCREDIBLY still bc u know otherwise he's just gonna burst into tearssss) stede whispers "ed" and ed is immediately like "don't" and then. stede going in for the "i love you" but like the way he's so slow with it?? he's literally like "i. love." and idk if it's bc he's trying to make this as clear as possible or if he's giving ed enough time to cut him off if he doesn't want to hear it

and ed DOES he DOES cut him off with "you don't get to say that to me" and he like. keeps glancing at stede out of the corner of his eye but not quite looking at him directly bc he knowwwwws it's like staring into the sun baby and ed knows if he looks at stede's face it's literally all over.

but also ed's face after stede pivots to "i love everything about you" he's SO pissed. he quietly groans and rolls his eyes bc this bitch. finding stupid loopholes to not being allowed to say "i love you." fuck this guy ed hates him so fucking much (lying)

oooooh when stede says "you don't have to say it back to me" ed's mouth opens and closes a bit before "not about to" bc this man is trying. SO hard not to cry (so am i but it's not working sorry there are tears on my face right now)

idk idk idk smthng abt "it's nice. feels good." makes me hurt so fucking bad bc the entire time since ed's woken up stede's been getting headbutted and snarked at passive-aggressively but stede's still like "i love being near you it makes me happy :)" brb i need. a fucking moment.

honestly tho how did annie and mary even overhear that bit bc they were on the other side of the room and stede was whispering SO quietly. opposite of when ppl in this show dont hear things despite the things being said like two feet away from them (1.03 geraldo and jackie talking abt how blackbeard was looking for stede, 2.01 zheng saying the indigo was worth way more than she spent on it)

LOVE how anne being like "stede likes the ladies" is how ed figures out "ohhhh wait ok theyre just fucking with us, got it" bc this guy??? liking women????? lmao

this also HAS to be why he gets over mary like his brain mustve gone "wait hang on why the fuck would he go back to her he doesn't even like women. guess maybe he really did panic huh" hdjksghfckghkjsh

obsessed with these TINY tiny details abt the ed/jack/annie/mary polycule dynamics we're given. ed would've expected as much from annie bc she's a fucking psycho. mary apparently used to not be like this. im putting the pieces together im connecting the dots.

ed and stede's knowing smug looks at each other. im obsessed.

annie being rlly sensitive to the word "bitch" im considering that more hints abt the polycule backstory

yayy fanny newspaper

"really? i mean she stabbed you, you poisoned her, and then she jumped on my face" stede this is all part of their very elaborate and deeply toxic sex life ok stop kinkshaming them

~~~

curious if ed and stede are too distracted by mary spelling out their worst fears to comment on all the smoke coming into the room

"everything must go" like a fucking clearance sale. this is such a silly line. this is a silly show. i love it here.

WHY DONT THEY MAKE OUT SLOPPY STYLE HERE THO

wait are they crying while they hug??? bro these girls are so fucking messy i love them

ed saying "see you guys" before he leaves them in their burning house. i would die for him

ok team arts and craft time while making a prosthetic for izzy. obsessed with how the b plot of this episode is literally "the crew struggles to get along but they eventually set aside their differences and work together when they realize there's someone even more cringe and pathetic than any of them"

"YOU ARE!!! HARASSING A CRIPPLE!!!!!!" is suchhhh a funny line im sorry im gonna miss izzy at his lowest fhsjkhjksf. literally they just knocked on the door my dude calm downnnn

obsessed with izzy being genuinelly touched and expressing it by saying "fucking cocksuckers." this man is allergic to having feelings.

stede and ed painfully talking over each other bc everything is awkward and difficult. i love them.

ed's face when stede offers to let ed stay. his very quiet "yis." the way he says "might be nice" and then VERY QUICKLY looks away

stede yelling GREAT at the top of his lungs fhdsjkguydfgfjkhl

i love when these guys try to play it cool bc theyre so fucking bad at it hgdfgvjfxdkgjjdkkgjhfdkh

stede bonnet dumb idiot moron moments

ed staring off lovinglyyyyyy

buttons jumpscare

also is that fucking sage. are we doing cultural appropriation here

buttons saying "Earth Wind and Fire i wanna go higher" hfjkhgfdjkhgjkh

i love how ed. does not question this "fuck yeah, brother. fly."

ed teach lovesick fool moments

i love how happy ed sounds telling stede abt buttons he sounds like his old goofy self for the first time all season.... im gonna cry

also i like how the crew adopts izzy as their new creature. 10/10

post credits scene is annie and mary at dinner with buttons. i guess it's after stede goes to comfort ed but before they go eavesdrop on that convo.

buttons enjoying his last meal as a human. and also he's like "there's too much fucking on that ship i need to get away from it all." and his way of doing this is becoming a bird. love that.

[mickmundy]

i am now hooked on bushmedicine bc of your fics, would u happen to have fic/blog recs? 👀

OH MY GOSH EEE THANK YOU SO MUCH MY FRIEND ;__; I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE ENJOYING MY SERIES!!!! ;u; as for recs.. ohoho... yes... i do.., fortunately i have amazing talented friends whose work i admire and adore!!! just going to say that this list is by no means exhaustive or complete and is being done completely off of the top of my head, so PLEASE don't feel bad if i leave anyone out!! ;__; <333

also i'm really not super active on here so i mostly know twt accounts but i'll do my best! i'll firstly advise you to just look through my bushmed tag on my blog. lots of great folks in there!! ^v^ so much talent!! aoguaougaaa!!! and to my friends who have supported me with my own fics thank you so much ;;; i owe u all everythign!! <333 going to stick this under a cut since it's kind of lengthy!!

for fic recs, i actually don't have a lot of time to read many, sadly!! ;_; BUT i'll gladly point you in the direction of some of my besties' fics that i have read and absolutely adore!!:

see that my grave is kept clean by @fairyouth.... my favorite. john is a freaking MASTER of writing them and i love his big huge creative mind!!

heatstroke by @eurovamp... kat is so talented!! i LOVE her interpretation and they have so many fun au's!! i haven't gotten a chance to read it but she also wrote a bushmed naga fic that they've been talking to me about and AAHHH IM SO EXCITED TO READ!!

as for fanart, i'll also use this as a chance to promote my lovely talented friends!! i don't speak for them of course but i believe some of them (myself included) might be more active on twitter, i'm not sure! :( but i'll rec them here regardless hehehe!! some accts are ns/fw too so just a heads up!

@lovey2dovey2 YESSS FELLOW MEDSNIP LESBIAN!!! HEHEHE!! she's SO talented and kind, and all of her interpretations are SO fun and creative!! absolutely adore her art style!!

@5piecechickendinner / @5piececockdinner DEEEEEE absolutely stunning pieces, great moody art and a joy to talk to!! a blast to talk headcanons with too!!

@rabidratbaby -> twitter acct! amazing pieces, conveys such tenderness and sweetness in their art, both nsfw and sfw!! super chill and immaculate vibes in general!!

@radioactive-gremlin -> support her on patreon! char's got it all... lighthearted silliness and super sexy comics!! a total delight to follow and befriend!

@lubby-beez LUB!! so sweet to know, and the queen of saucy medic art!! amazing coloring and body type representation and super fun ocs!!

@poisonedflame if you follow me on here you've probably seen me reblog ren's amazing sfms quite a few times hehe... so kind and talented, huge-brained and a wonderful friend!!

@skymacaroon fantastic art and super fun to talk to, absolutely love how he draws medic and sniper!!

@oldkamelle one of the accounts that warmly welcomed me to tumblr.. ;u; very kind and so great to talk to, totally wonderful artistic talent!!!

as for folks who i am not very close to but whose works i still adore and cherish and scream so normally and lovingly any time i see them on my tl and who i want to still give some spotlight to! i hope it's okay that i'm tagging you in this! ;-;

@goo-p absolutely no notes... ellís's style yields so much range for whimsy And more somber/serious pieces... absolutely stunning!! a joy to work with creatively and to speak with!!

@hootsimedes such cute style and so many amazing creative ideas!! and so kind!! ^u^

@halfhihat SUUCH a cute style!! absolutely love the cute little comics he draws!!

[hoohoobeanie]

Oooh I love your Spommy ‘bad idea right’, my brain goes to places!! Are they epic exes who loved each other and split because of misunderstanding or just wrong timing and stumble across each other again, only to not able to resist complete infatuation again!

However lol, when I first read it, I didn’t immediately take in that you meant Olivia’s song, because my brain thought oooh a spommy fic about the ‘interviews their exes’ videos! How funny could that be, but also it could be so angst as well. Imagine if Tommy or Spencer are cast to interview their exes and behind the scenes one of them is watching and starts to have so many questions about their exes. Maybe they have to film this video, are just pining and something sparks them to get together.

(Not a request, just cannot get out my spommy brain rot moment and wanted to share!) thank you 😊 you are welcome to run with the idea if you like it though ofc

omg yes hello!!

right now as ive started writing the bad idea right fic, the way im writing it is as more 'right person, wrong timing, bad communication' type of situation bcos i love a good 'neither of us are saying what we truly feel rn' !! but hopefully ill get the fic out of me asap and u can see it!!

as for your first interpretation of it, i love that!! i've thought of the idea behind the exes interviews so much before, its such a fun concept that could be played around with. tommy interviewing exes and spence comes out as john d bad and triggers tommys fight or flight so bad (he keeps trying to remind himself its his spencer but god does he hate john d bad) OR tommy is in the back while spence is interviewing and hes just like 'ik this is all fake but how dare they talk abt him in this way' ... i love the pining of it too, them making jokes throughout but realising as they're talking that they love all of the silly little things the other does ... maybe them have too much banter even in character and the other cast members being like 🤨🤨🤨

ah i just love the idea, idk if id be able to fully flesh it out but its so much fun!!

[oceanic-sunsets]

I know many fandom theorists have talked about the religious imagery in ST, but I haven't seen an analysis on this particular subject. If there is, I would LOVE to read your interpretation, please link me, because it gave me a headache for a while!

I want to talk about this shot:

We know Suzie's house is full of religious pictures and statues, but this particular picture on the wall immediately caught my attention because it aligns with the characters so well. Suzie is in front of Jesus. And everyone else, well. There are two interpretations I can think of.

The first one, the one you immediately would think about if you recognize the painting: Will is in front of Judas.

If you're not familiar with religion, the last supper is a painting that represents Jesus's last meal, which he shared with his apostles before he was betrayed, arrested, and crucified.

Here's a reference:

As someone who grew up in a very catholic family and was taught religion in school, I remember one of the first facts we learned is that Judas betrayed Jesus (He also kisses Jesus's cheek, but that's another story).

There are several interpretations of his betrayal and why he did it, but all we need to know is that if Judas hadn't betrayed Jesus, God's prophecy wouldn't have been fulfilled.

When s4 first came out I wasn't on tumblr, but I was lurking on Twitter, and many people pointed out Will was placed in front of Judas, and there was concern about what this could mean, some even suggesting Will's villain arc or another possession.

But we know Will having a villain arc is not happening, it's the opposite of what his arc is about. He's Henry's foil, he represents good and kindness despite everything that has happened to him.

But you know WHO thinks of himself as some sort of God, and thinks he can just Do and Undo the world as he pleases, as he thinks would be best? Exactly, Henry!

This made me think of of theory #1: Will playing double agent, making Henry think he's on his side, "joining" him, but ultimately betraying him. I haven't thought about the details of how this would work out (especially in the long run) without Henry noticing, but I don't think it would be off the table.

And now another interpretation.

So, yeah, Will is very obviously on the left, and if you see the painting behind them and have some sort of religious knowledge, you know that's where Judas is placed. That's the first thing you'd think of.

However, giving it more thought, you could also interpret it as Will being placed in front of the apostle John. Also, did you know apostle James and John were brothers? have you noticed where James is in the painting? he's on the right, just like Jonathan:)

James was the first apostle to die. He died a martyr. John was the only apostle to risk staying with Jesus when he was crucified, and Jesus asked him to look after his mother when he died. And so he did. After Mary died, it is said that John:

"After Mary’s death John, maybe still learning his trade, spent a lot of time with St Peter, who was the rock on which the church was founded.  According to Scriptures he was with St Peter at the healing of the lame man in the Temple and was also thrown into prison with Peter. He also went with Peter to Samaria and then on missions elsewhere." x

Peter is VERY close next to John in the Last Supper painting, even more so than Judas. Just like Mike is next to Will, to his left.

Take that as you will! I could write theory #2 with that info in mind, but honestly i'd be just rambling because I haven't given that one a lot of thought. I just found it interesting and it might interest some people on here but I'm not saying I 100% believe that's going to happen.

@wibble-wobbegong i hope it's ok to tag u i have seen u talk a lot about religious metaphors/imagery so this might interest you!

[groceryreceipts]

do u have any excerpts of the epic essay on nocturne in black and gold you could please share? im intrigued!

oh, yes i do! it was a paper on the libel case between whistler and john ruskin after he criticized the nocturne in black and gold, and how the case was emblematic of a burgeoning conflict in the european art world about what the nature of art is

(edward burne-jones was an artist in the pre-raphaelite movement that predated the vorticists and whistler by a little. and this was a movement that wanted to emulate "the styles of the early Renaissance, in particular rejecting the influences of Raphael. The Pre-Raphaelites were interested in depicting the 'iconography and mysticism' of 'early Christian' art," which was in line with what ruskin believed. burne-jones was a witness for ruskin in the libel case.)

i would say ruskin (and h.g. wells, who i talk about briefly as being critical of whistler's nocturnes) have the view that art is meant to have a moral or allegorical purpose, rather than interpretation or even just being beautiful, which i think is also a perspective that has endured into contemporary art. and ruskin explicitly says that art coming from the larger impressionist movement is about making money instead of depicting something with a deeper meaning. and obviously whistler suing ruskin for libel after criticizing his art sort of plays into that.

whistler sued ruskin for libel because he believed that ruskin's critique hurt his reputation as an artist. and while he did win his case, he only won one farthing (1/4 of one pence), so it made him almost more of a joke. that being said, whistler's artistic perspective is the one that becomes more mainstream in the 20th century and more in line with what you and i might see as the purpose of art (a departure from the visual world, an exercise in evoking certain emotions or sensations rather than straight-up depiction). i can also add a link to the whole paper if anyone was interested, but i hope this all made sense!

[anachronistic-falsehood]

OK OK OK. i have to run some errands but i am also thinking abt this soo much now so im gonna type out this ask over the course of like the next hour in between things while im thinkin abt it. so i hope its not completely incomprehensible

OK ALEX KNIGHT OF VOID. i was not able to convince a friend abt him bc they are dead set on him being a prince of blood. whcih. shoutout to jonesy for that one because thats ALSO a really good classpect for him. ough. anyway anyway. the reason he is knight of void to me. hear me out this is my void player alex propaganda. void is. lack. void is nothing in the most literal sense. what does alex do. he disappears. thats what kicks off the whole fucking thing right !! alex disappears seemingly without a trace and jay goes looking for him. personally i see the operator as an embodiment of void in the homestuck sense. it takes things, it makes things disappear, it erases memories and redacts information and erases all sense of self in a person and thats how it wins. (theres an argument to be made that it could also be space coded with all the warping around and distortions and things but thats a whole other conversation its void propaganda time now) and alex becomes the one most closely associated with the operator. maybe tim was the source yeah but alex is the one who had the most direct contact with it the entire time. hes a knight because he protects nothing yeah (REALLY good interpretation btw. he thinks hes protecting something but there's nothing there.) but he was also corrupted into protecting the things the operator wanted (burning the tapes, getting rid of evidence, killing everyone associated, etc.) void 2 me is the opposite of light; where light deals in the acquisition of knowledge and understanding, void is the unknown and the unfamiliar and unclear

AND THAT BRINGS US TO. HEIR OF LIGHT JAY. FUCK. hes so heir coded. he didnt ask for this, he wasnt at all involved until alex offered to give him the tapes. he inherited the tapes from alex (who then stole them back and burnt them, void player behavior btw) . jay is soooooo. eye avatar coded also. i dont think youve listwned to tma yet but I know ive talked abt tma entities to u in passing before. ugh it makes me so insane. jay becomes obsessed with knowledge, with uncovering the mysteries, he HAS to Know whats happening. to the point where it becomes unhealthy. if i remember correctly one of the powers of an heir is to become their aspect (john when he turns into wind (?) ) and at a certain point jay . becomes light. in more ways than one if you want to be sappy about it (i do. i want to be sappy about it.) he becomes the knowledge, he becomes the information, his camera is an extention of his body, he's the sole provider of the events of mh through the youtube channel (and when tim picks it up its only because he feels like he needs to finish what jay started) . BUT ALSO. jay becomes . sort of a beacon for the whole thing. hoodie/brian are contacting *jay.* not alex, not tim. alex is hunting down jay for the tapes before tim even gets involved. dont even get me STARTED on jay and tim they make me fucking nuts. they only had each other. say what you will about the unhealthiness of their whole thing but jay was a light in the darkness for tim. he was hiding from everything, ignoring all of his problems and nothing was getting fixed, jay pulled him out of that kicking and screaming and even though they both got SO fucked up in the process ultimately tim escaped and jay was the light that led him out of the tunnel (< pun very much intended. fuck that tunnel). im kind of getting off on a tangent here sorry ive been reading a lot of fics i love them .

HEART PLAYER TIM. HOO BOY. now . hear me out. i know what you may be thinking. "mac you cannot just assign heart players to your favorite characters that is just you projecting." ITS NOT. OK. I JUST HAVE A TYPE WHEN IT COMES TO FAVORITE CHSRACTERS and that type Just So Happens to be full of fucking heart players. anyway. hear me out. tim. cares. so much. tim cares SO much for other people. the onlt reason he pushes people away is because he thinks it will protect them from him because he is so very full of guilt all the time and blames himself for infecting everyone. but he FUCKING CARES. and that i think is a huge huge huge heart player trait. maybe they are not the most pleasant people in the world maybe theyre huge raging assholes that will never admit it (cough cwilbur cough dirk) but DEEP DOWN (sometimes not actually all that deep down) heart players care about their friends so much that it hurts. however. heart players also tend to be super selfish <3 and tim is a knight. so . he protects. he protexts the people he cares about by trying to get them away from him. he also DIRECTLY protects the people he cares about (looking @ the scene in entry 72 hwre he directly stands face to face with the operator in order to protect jay. fuck that is one of my favorite scenes in the whole fucking thing. ) BUT HE IS ALSO SUPER SELFISH. he protects himself. he thinks hes protecting himself by shutting everyone out. he goes off on his own because he thinks thats the safest option. dont even get me STARTED on masky becausde i have a lot of complicated masky thoughts and this is already so very long. but like. u get the idea.

OK FINALLY. BRIAN. MAN. brian makes me so so so sad. doomed from the start motherfucker. he was tims first and best friend and . even though i stand by the fact thay the events of mh should not be blamed on tim. this was also . brians doom . hes so doom player. i also have a lot of complicated hoodie thoughts ans i think i need to rewatch a bunch of the totheark videos before i can fully formulate them all but . brian is. pretty much gone the whole series. he lost his memories and his sense of self so early on, so we see hoodie more than we see brian. brian is doomed to. lose himself basically. and even as hoodie i think he knows this . so all of his focus is on guiding jay, having jay lead him to the ark (still. somewhat unclear on whay the ark actually is . i think i need 2 sit down and just watch the whole series again tbh. so if this sounds like total bullshit pls forgive me i am jusf a little guy) anyway. he OBVIOUSLY knows more than jay does. debatably even more than tim does. how does he know these things! seer behavior. he knows that theyre all fucked though. there are plenty of allusions to death in the totheark videos and. well. despite whether he is actually guilty of this or not, tim certainly blames him for Jay's death. hoodie left them the note that led them to benedict hall which was. the death site for literally 3/4 of the entire group. doom player behavior. he saw that their deaths were inevitable and unavoidable and set pieces in motion to get all of those things to happen because he knew it had to. but hes also really passive with the way he interacts. very rarely does he actually directly give things to jay, most of the time its through codes and indirect contact and simply leading him/guiding him rather than. explicitly directing him. (which. silly side note. enrichment for jays light player tendencies. tossing him a puzzle feeder full of snacks like here you go buddy figure it out except the snacks are his friends' inevitable deaths)

GOD I HOPE ANY OF THIS MAKES SENSE. I AM THINKING ABT THEM SOMUCH DUDE.

LOOKING AT THIS WITH MY EXTREME AUTISM STARE. OGUHGOHGFH. ALEX KNIGHT OF VOID NO UR RIGHT UR SO FUCKING RIGHT. LIKE YES PRINCE OF BLOOD WORKS TOO BUT KNIGHT OF VOID IS SOOOO. AGH. he's gone and that kickstarts the whole thing. yeagh. THE OPERATOR AS AN EMBODIMENT OF VOID MAC I AM GOING TO START EATING GLASS UR INSANE FOR THIS AND ALSO SO SO CORRECT. OH MY GOD. obscuring information, hiding things, taking and taking until there's nothing left. operator lord of void and alex its unwillingly loyal knight. im going to start throwing things AGHHHH!!!!

void is so so the opposite of light which makes heir of light jay SOOOO INTERESTING. trying to achieve the opposite of what alex is doing. obsessed with knowing, with untangling the mysteries, finding out the truth. HE BECOMES THE ASPECT OF LIGHT, OF KNOWLEDGE. HE LOSES HIMSELF IN IT. IT CONSUMES HIM. light players attract attention from the narrative and jay is at the centre of ALL OF IT. HE is the one making the videos and posting them. he is the main character. remember when tim gets mad at jay for posting the videos for the entire world to see??? jay is MAKING THE NARRATIVE. HE IS THE NARRATIVE. HE IS THE MEDIUM THROUGH WHICH WE CONSUME THE STORY. and he will do ANYTHING to expand that narrative and give the people watching more and more information. he wants others to have this knowledge. he IS the light and he will spread information at the detriment of people close to him.

oghhhh don't even get me started on knight of heart time. ohg. he IS selfish!! and he will use that selfishness to protect the people close to him. he cares so so fucking much and it's killing him. and sometimes the best way to protect others is to be away from them no matter how much he doesn't want to be alone. heart is about identity and self. these blackouts he keeps having make him wonder who he even is with the mask on. he doesn't know who he is anymore. he barely knows who everyone else is trying to be anymore. ur so fucking right he is SO heart player coded AGHHHH!!!!! THE GUY EVER!!!

oh my god brian seer of doom drives me fucking insane crazy batshit stupid. holyyyyyy shit. yeah. oh my god. he's known they were doomed from the start. seers are a guidance class meant to nudge the other players on their destined path. he. he does that. he sets things in motion for himself, alex, and jay to die. it was inevitable and he knew that. he gives jay these little puzzles to decode (ENRICHMENT FOR HIS ENCLOSURE!!! seer behaviour <3) he's a shepard guiding them to their deaths I'M GOING 2 BE SICKKKKK!!!! he's always known there's no way for any of this to end without his own death and the deaths of his friends and in typical seer fashion he just kind of. accepts it. pushes the others onto the same path. lets it happen. rose behaviour!!! he's such a doom player but seer is literally such a perfect class for him ohhh my god. yeah yeah yeah. ur so right. i'm going 2 eat my fucking computer <3

[lionofstone]

Malevolent Part 25 reaction post bc my friend who listens to it is asleep and i don’t want to spam them so i’m compiling my thoughts here so i can send one message lets gooooo 

all i’ve been told is that there are ‘sweet moments’ in the first ten minutes so i am :)) 

arthur talking about farou </3 

“a bleeding heart is only going to get us killed” AH 

“we need to stay mindful of this, of us.” they’re an us.... my venom bias is showing again lol 

“don’t be disappointed that we didn’t help them” “i’m disappointed that you don’t seem to care” AHH JOHN IS BECOMING HIS TETHER TO HUMANITY,,,, they are swapping roles,,,, 

“have you ever picked a lock like this” “i may have, yes” listen ik this is probably Private Investigator Related but my brain did in fact go “criminal arthur 👀” so. yknow. 

“we’re not like other people are we” OH AH that line is made for me... the way he sounds when he says it... AHHHH 

when arthur and john work together 😭😭😭😭

yes that is literally the plot of the whole podcast yes it still gets me every time 

“i am glad you’re surviving for us” :(((( 

john is literally so sweet he’s trying so hard to be Good and Kind and Human and i adore him 

this is also the ‘sweet moment’ quinn mentioned i am sure 

“arthur you fucking did it!!” i love when he celebrates he is everything to me 

they are being Awkward with each other and it’s very entertaining but also i am Worried i want them to have an actual conversation again please i like when they talk about their feelings 

i’m so focused on the arthur & john dynamic that i just. forget to pay attention to the plot 

every time they’re like “oh what should we do? which direction?” i’m like. yeah there’s the patreon choice. there it is. idk if i’ll ever join the patreon bc i think it’s fun to have no idea & also interacting with the story feels like it would break suspension of disbelief (for me) (unless it eventually Came Up in the narrative a la Bandersnatch) (but this is just a personal preference) 

“there was a time when [bloody footprints] would’ve chilled me to the bone” arthur my guy you were a private investigator??? presumably you were in crime scenes at least occasionally???? also u killed a man in episode one (ok like technically john did but you were Very Close) 

“the cold has taken me” “i can’t feel as much” “it’s nothing that doesn’t come with experience, i suppose” once again: they are swapping places!!! arthur feels less human!!!! 

also i am glad they are talking about emotions again <3 

“i never thought you’d be cold” :( 

“i am not a callous man, john” “i’m saying your words are taken to heart” 

“really?” “yes!” i love when they Communicate <3 besties <3 

John demanding answers about their time apart ahhhhhhhh 

“tell me everything” YEAH 

(also whenever they do these ‘recaps’ i can’t help but think that it’s a clever way of helping the audience along since it’s usually about a month between episodes which is A While but also the recaps just. make sense in universe so i’m never too mad about it) 

arthur always talks about them going home together and it makes me :) 

john asking “how do you picture that” and arthur answering with practical things like getting a car etc etc AHHH it’s so !!!!! bc i def interpreted that question as john being more like “what happens to us/me when you go back home/to your life” and arthur answered it like it was “how do you think we’d manage the journey” and it’s just. good good emotion soup 

like on one hand i think it’s arthur subconsciously being like “we’re going to stick together ofc” bc that’s not in question for him but on the other i’m like. arthur. please do some reflection and then use your words 

WHY DID THAT “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO” MAKE ME JUMP SO BAD 

this voice sounds So Scared 

Matthew ahhh 

“who are you talking to” “no one” :((( 

“tell us—tell me” arthur is so bad at pretending to be a single person 

“i’m not supposed to tell you...yet” UH MATTHEW? WTF DOES THAT MEAN? 

arthur interrogating matthew makes me really sad for some reason 

i think bc there was a time when arthur would’ve opened the door no question 

“some seek a power they never had and some people seek power they once did” that’s a very good line 

why is john so panicked about getting information about new york did i miss something 

“HIS EYES ARE BLEEDING ARTHUR” 

DID MATTHEW JUST EXPLODE

DID HE JUST 

ALKFHAG ???? 

“his head split in two” YEAH I GATHERED THAT THANKS JOHN 

and ofc they’re fighting again <//3 

“arthur...” “i know. you don’t know.” 

john is so gentle with arthur in his tone 

“what a waste” “...a waste?” 

“a man is dead, arthur.” john :( 

ahhh like on one hand i’m enjoying arthur’s corruption arc but on the other i miss when he was kind & and john was leaning from him 

i do love a good role reversal i’m just also Worried about what’s going to happen to them & their dynamic yknow 

OOOH THREE SOLDIERS i love when things Connect 

“the coin i flipped—” “what?” PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN THINGS TO JOHN ARTHUR PLEASE HE DESERVES TO KNOW AND MAYBE HE CAN HELP YOU 

“matthew said he wasn’t part of it—” “who?” ARTHUR 🔪 

“they needed help” “so do we!” ARTHUR 🔪 🔪 🔪 

“this is how we stop them!” “is it?” 

“HOW EXACTLY WAS YELLOW THE MONSTER BETWEEN YOU TWO” GET HIM JOHN!!!!!

“BECAUSE HE WAS JUST LIKE YOU” ARTHUR I AM COMING FOR YOUR KNEES 

PARASITE PARASITE??????????? wtf i am so :( 

“too inconsequential to exist on his own” ARTHUR WTF 

like..... is that not exactly what the king in yellow was getting at?? essentially??? “oh john shouldn’t be on his own he needs to be part of the whole” like??? ARTHUR WTF HOW DARE YOU 

john bitterly describing things i am :( 

“arthur” “what” “i’m glad i’m not like you” 

“the feelings mutual” 

HI HOW TF AM I SUPPOSED TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH FOR CLOSURE ON THAT ONE 

remember what i said about not getting patreon? i am second guessing that now ajfgkaasfkjgs

i am feeling a lot of terrible emotions 

quinn i hate u for getting me into this podcast but also tysm <3 mixed bag with me 

gonna just. go back to listening to you call it madness (i call it love) on repeat bc that provides Happier Thoughts 

devastated rn 

[peach-coke]

PEACHY!! I just finished the final. How u doing? What do you think?

Hey Sol! Sorry for leaving you hanging with an answer for a couple days but I had to process. And mourn, after all I said goodbye to something that has been part of me for 15 years. That's half my life. It's weird and I don't think I've ever cried as much as I have in the past 3 days but... Well. Luckily, they're happy tears. "Don't cry because it's over, cry because it happened" aside? I love the ending.

It's all I could've ever asked for. Ah, who am I kidding? It's more than that. I was prepared to be gutted in a really bad way. I am gutted but for all the right reasons. It was tragic. It was painful. It was beautiful. But most of all? It was a Love-Letter.

I know there’s a lot of people who’re upset about parts of the episode; I understand. We’re all grieving in our own ways. I hope however, that once the dust has settled and feelings stop spiking into extremes, people will realize that the episode left so many things unsaid and ambiguous... Meaning there's lots and lots of space for interpretation and headcanons to “fix” the finale into something that makes it better for you. And I’d like to think this was done on purpose.

I’m soo sorry I end up rambling on one of your asks again Sol, but I’ll do exactly that to pick up some of the things I’ve seen people be most upset about and give some of my perspective on them. Maybe it’ll help some people to feel better and grow to love the final as much as I do ♥

One thing I’ve seen a lot of people be upset about is that Dean didn’t get to live the life they’ve fought for so hard. Actually? We don’t know that. There is no timestamps, no indicators that tell us they didn’t do what we saw in the first domestic montage for a couple years. The only hint we have is that Miracle is still around and kicking, so it couldn’t have been more than maybe 6 years (because 6-8ish is when a dog that size shows clears signs of aging). Besides that? Nobody and nothing stops us in believing they had that “domestic bliss with a little bit of hunting on the side”-life for quite a while before it happened.

Them talking about mourning Cas and Jack is no indicator either. I still mourn people I lost 15 years ago, when the occasion calls for it or I remember them in moments that they would’ve loved to be part of. Mourning never stops… Of course, even 6 years aren’t a lifetime. But do we really think Dean - our Dean - would’ve been happy and content with a 9-to-5 job? Yeah, didn’t think so either...

Then, we have the rebar. Which honestly didn’t bother me at all, for several reasons. First, I love parallels and this episode was so full of them… Not only was the whole “stabbed in the back” thing a direct callback to arguably the most painful death in the series to date – Sam’s first in All Hell Breaks Loose – it was also a callback to The Song Remains the Same. The episode where Sam is stabbed by Anna – with a rebar/fixture she ripped out of the wall - and bleeds out on the floor. The only reason he got out of it alive, is because John!Michael fixed him. Otherwise? He would’ve died by being stabbed with a rebar. Just like that.

Ash himself told them that they died several times together and can’t remember because the angels don’t want them to. We, the viewers, have never seen them die together until Dark Side Of The Moon. Which strongly implies that they must’ve died on random hunts. More than once.

So Dean’s death in the barn? That’s what happens to Hunters who have no divine intervention. That’s what happens to Hunters who are living the life without being chosen for something bigger. That’s what happens to Hunters with free will. Dean’s death in the barn was a true Hunter’s death. The one he always wanted. There’s no glory, there’s nothing special about it. It just is. And I thought that was tragically poetic in its own way.

I know people were expecting them to go out Butch and Sundance style. Together – I admittedly wanted that too. But the way Dean’s death happened didn’t bother me at all. And honestly? Sam’s soul died in that barn, too. We know it did. So they did go out together, one way or another. It was just not the way we expected.

The cinematic parallels of Sam’s life without Dean to Dean’s life without Sam after Swan Song honestly floored me. It was beautifully heartbreaking.

We see Sam living his life while Dean is driving along “right there beside him, every step of the way”. We see him holding on for Dean, fulfilling the promise he made to his brother about living on. Making sure there’s always a Winchester that knows love left in the world. The final sacrifice of Sam, the bravest and strongest man we know. Sam, who sits down in the car he once called home, to be close to the one person that always held the same connotation. Sam, who knows his other half is waiting for him, sitting just there in the same spot he is. Every step of the way. That’s my Supernatural right there.

What I especially like about the whole thing is, that it once again leaves us with another take besides the one we actually saw and thought obvious. We can also pretend Sam died on that werewolf hunt, shortly after Dean’s death. There is nothing that stops you from seeing this as canon, (There’s actually quite a few hints that it’s a very strong possibility), because the way the whole scene played out could’ve easily been a daydream of Dean while he was driving in heaven.

The fact they left it open like that is a gift, in my eyes. They could’ve easily forced a fixed narrative on us. But they didn’t. Same with so many other things. They left us with so many possibilities and room for our own takes. And I think it’s fair that people need time to process what we’ve been given here. It’s fair that people are still upset about some aspects, because they have yet to realize that there is a pathway for them to see it differently, without discarding canon at all.

There’s only one thing that is not open for interpretation. And that’s that Sam and Dean love each other as much as two human beings can love each other. And none of them is complete without the other. I never quite understood why some people needed the show to end on romantic notes. Supernatural has never been about that. It has always been about the deep, abiding love those two brothers had for each other and how neither heaven nor hell ever stood a chance against it. Platonic love is just as beautiful as romantic love; sometimes even more so. And that’s what this finale showed us.

And that’s why I love it so much. Why I say it’s a Love-Letter. It’s a Love-Letter to us; The ones who’ve been there all the way from the start. The ones who’ve seen the show for what it is and what it has always been: The epic love story of Sam and Dean Winchester.

Despite all that, it is still valid to dislike the ending. You are entitled to do so. But if you really think Sam and Dean - two soulmates, surrounded by the people they love, at peace - spending the rest of eternity together in heaven is the absolute worst possible ending that destroyed everything the show ever stood for? I’m sorry, but in that case you did not understand Supernatural at all.

[whatagirlwants]

I’ve been a fan of sabrina since 2014, I saw joshua on stuck in the middle but didn’t really know about him (I was more focused on jenna and isaak) and I hadn’t heard about olivia until I saw my whole twitter tl talking about her and drivers license. 

I didn’t mind SOUR, i enjoyed  8/11 songs BUT it’s not an album that I’ve constantly gone back to listen to in one sitting. Hearing joshua’s side on his EP (crisis, secret & set me free) however did changed my perspective about SOUR. I still believe olivia should’ve posted something when her fans were attacking josh & sabrina on her behalf. The excuse of ‘she’s young she didn’t know any better’ is not a good excuse. I’m 5 months older than olivia and if I was in her position I know i would’ve put out a message out of respect for the people involved regardless of how hurt I was, of course you can’t control you’re fans but putting out a message stating that you don’t agree with what’s happening is important.

I like ‘emails i can't send’, I think it’s sabrina’s most vulnerable album and you can hear it in the lyrics. ‘Decode’, my personal favourite song on the album perfectly summarises sabrina’s side of the story. I didn’t interpret the song as her walking away from josh because he was ‘confusing’ during the drama. I interpreted it as her realising at the end of the relationship how bad it turned during that tough time for her.

I also wanted to say not all of sabrina’s songs on ‘emails i can't send’ are about josh. Lots of people forget she dated griffin gluck around 2019 - 2020 (before josh i think). One of the songs not about josh but about griffin is 'vicious', griffin did post drivers license to his instagram story with the caption ‘bop’ which further fulled more hate towards sabrina as some of olivia’s fans started assuming.

I don’t believe that josh still has feelings for olivia at all, he is respectful but as another anon said his interview with Zach Sang Show cemented it for me. You could tell that he was hurt and is still trying to process everything.

At the end of the day there is always olivia’s side, sabrina’s side, joshua’s side and the truth. We will never know the truth because it’s none of our business BUT all of them have the right to tell their side and everybody should respect that.

I think i wasnt clear when i explained my interpretation of decode, it is her realizing theres nothing left in the relationship. i only explained the lines in the 2nd verse when i said she’s choosing to walk away cause even though he walked away first (1st verse) she finally is realizing theres nothing left for her to try and make work or try to understand why everything turned out the way it is and to just accept it. when i explained the lines in tembe song i meant those specific lines and i went into details.

thanks for your input on olivia but i dont really care for her or her decisions i dont really talk about her here. but i understand where you’re coming from and her part in how the situation played out should have been handled better too.

i think its time we accept Vicious is about him. Sabrina MOVED on from Griffin to Joshua like none of the songs on the album relate to her and Griffin. even though sabrina says she started the writing process 2 or 3 years ago, inreality most of the songs she’s made and made it into the album are songs she wrote with leroy, jp, julia which leroy she met in the summer of 2020 (and thats when they made Bad For Business which made it into emails).

Sabrina started going to the studio with JP in 2021 and thats when his then girlfriend Julia would join them in writing sessions cause in June/July Sabrina said in her teen vogue interview they went to new york in the summer of 2021 to finish the album. In september 2021 Sabrina said they were the only people along side a producer named John Ryan she worked with on this album.

In March 2022 Sabrina wrote and recorded Vicious with Amy Allen cause they also followed each other during then. and u can hear it in her lyrics she’s reflecting on 2021 “one year 10 thousand bad moments” and singing about someone who left her and her image wrecked AND wrote her love songs … its not griffin gluck. she’s moved on from him and past him long ago. like she’s not thinking of Griffin in 2022 yes he fueled the drama and posted drivers license during that time but she didnt care about him he was already out of her life she just unfollowed him. like any woman would when an ex would use her for clout and gain off her situation. like i didnt want this to be a whole dissect why the song is about X and not Z but i hate seeing people think its not about him.

Sabrina feeling this way about Joshua is valid she doesnt have to feel bad for him when he left her during that time like its okay for her to be angry or feel hurt or think what he did to her inreturn is cruel or “vicious” (based on lyrics :))

regardsless like you said they all have their truths and their sides and wish them all the best thats just what i personally think!

[titaniumblender]

Irrational rant ahead, you have been warned. I hope to delete this on June 9th and for the leaks to be completely wrong 🤡 Anyway don't come for me I know I'm a fucking spaz and BELIEVE ME I WISH I WASN'T. My shipper heart is just upset 😒😪

Y'all I'm really out here trying to be a mature young adult but SORRY I DON'T HAVE THE EMOTIONAL MATURITY TO DEAL WITH A JK ENDING RN. I was so happy with how it ended originally and now I'm up here 🤡🤡 because I defs did not want my girl Mikasa to end up with my boy Jean who I thought was going to fucking slide into Pieck's pants. AND I KNOW ITS IRRATIONAL AND I KNOW THEY'RE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS BUT IT UPSETS ME!!!!! For me this seems unnecessary, the ending was open to interpretation before and I think that way everyone could kind of be happy.

I see a lot of ppl being like well u know Mikasa should have moved on its what she deserved blah blah blah, you know what good for you lads for being mature young adults who want the best for my girl. BUT I AM NOT THAT PERSON AND I REALLY WISH SHE COULD HAVE JUST BEEN A HAPPY SINGLE BITCH, because to me her and Eren's love isn't something one just 'gets' over, its the kind of thing that transcends to the next life. There wasn't any need to add an additional love interest for her here, none at all. And to everyone else who feels this way but also feels kinda garb about it because its like yeah, maybe she should logically move on or whatever but its okay if you don't want that as well. Every time I consider this I think of Chrissy Teigen who I think in an interview somewhere that she said she would leave a note in her husband, John Legends pocket saying he was her killer if she ever died or something because she'd rather he go to prison than ever remarry. AND FUCKING MOOD ABOUT EREMIKA. I'm selfish like Eren and I don't want her to be with anyone else either!!

And don't even start me on why I hate this for Jean omg. I used to fucking HATE Jean but I grew to slowly like him more over time and now I vibe with him and his general douchiness, that's my ladies man right there. Him ending up with Mikasa kills me for a lot of reasons, most obviously because I think he settles for second best. In no world where Eren lives, does Mikasa end up with Jean and I think that's just disrespectful. I'm a little biased because I was waiting for some JeanPiku because I think their relationship would just be awesome, the glimpse I saw of suave thinks he's a ladies man Jean in SNK Junior High hooked me and I was hoping that would play out for him or I could at least head canon that. This takes that entire possibility away and I'm left to think about him pining after moping Mikasa because don't tell me my girl didn't undergo so major fucking depression after everything she went through. Not what I wanted for him. And next on my list of grievances is just the fact that we don't ever see any development between them or at least on Mikasa's part. Like obviously I strongly dislike the ship but I might have been more partial towards it if I had seen some more real development of it but there was really no opportunity for that. IDK the whole thing just feels disingenuous to me almost, I'd rather it be another farmer-kun than Jean.

UGH anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk, I'm going to go write revenge Eremika porn now and thats that. But if anyone is like me and kind of feels bad about feeling Mikasa should have ended up alone, don't ur totally valid, they're fictional characters and u can feel however u want to!!

[beesweatercas]

Why dont u like 15x20? Full explanation please haha akkhckskf

Wow you just like playing with fire huh well dear since you asked:

Cw: su!cide, mental illness

1) Destiel aside, it was really ooc for Dean to just be like “yeah it sucks that Cas and Jack aren’t here but you know you just gotta move on :/”. We’ve seen how he reacts when someone close to him passes away, whether it’s Sam and he overdoses on medicine (Red Meat) or sells his soul, or it’s Cas and he drinks excessively and generally gets extremely depressed. Being all cheery and talking about moving on is not only a red flag for someone contemplating suicide, it’s just so out of character for Dean.

2) The blurry wife. Um. Really. I know it was meant so it was “open for interpretation” but that’s really just a fancy way of excusing misogyny.

3) The wig. If you’re going to give Sam that ending, at least do it respectably. Sam’s ending was alright, in theory, but the way it was done by making his wife blurry and naming his son Dean and the whole montage was just ridiculous imo. If they showed it better it would’ve been okay.

4)The fact that when Sam died he was surrounded by pictures of his blood family. No Cas, no Jack, hell, no pictures of his blurry wife that he loved so dearly. For a show that had a main message of “family don’t end in blood,” that was a crappy way to end Sam’s character.

5) Dean has been suicidal for a long time, and killing him off when he’s finally “happy” isn’t giving him peace or giving him the ending he wanted. If you’re going to go ahead and say that he’s gotten over Cas’s death and Jack’s absence, fine, but that would mean that Dean was content with his life. Why would he want to die when he’s happy and free? He canonically had a job application on his desk, so it’s clear that he didn’t want to go just yet, and even if he did, he wanted to at least get another shot at normal. This isn’t The Good Place where a character chooses to die when they’re happiest and at peace, this is Earth and that is not a message you want to send to human beings who are alive right now. It’s not like Dean was 90 years old and had enough of life, he was in his 40s. Who knows what could’ve happened if he had gotten the chance to live the way he wanted. And also just... a nail to the back, really, wooow. Plus Sam totally could have prayed to Jack to save him, so there were definitely ways to prevent Dean’s death and simply choosing not to use those options was ooc and sends a bad message to all people struggling with mental illness.

6) Agent Bon Jovi. Yes the idea was cool and all but come on they could’ve chosen a name that doesn’t sound funny. It killed the mood.

7) If you really think the plot of the finale was good, sure, you’re entitled to your opinion. But really take a look and think about the way it was done. The whole thing was 3 montages, a death scene, and a monster of the week plot line. I know the motw thing is their classic go-to, but for a finale I just expected something more. Also let’s not forget how they played carry on wayward son and then IMMEDIATELY followed with a COVER of carry on wayward son. Please-

8) Also following up on the Dean dying thing: Dean canonically, explicitly, wanted a big funeral with “open bar, choir, Sabbath cover band, and Gary Busey reading the eulogy.” Sure, he was joking around a bit when he said that, but it was a hyperbole, an exaggeration, which means that he stretched what he meant to say, and he did want a funeral that was still meaningful and cool. What did he get? His brother and dog watching miserably as his body burns. It’s not like there weren’t friends of his that were still alive and able to come say goodbye. Do people really think Claire, Garth, Eileen, Jody, Donna, and more wouldn’t want to attend Dean Winchester’s funeral?? At the very LEAST they could’ve had Jack come down from Heaven for a few moments.

9) Not really the finale but it’s continued from 15x19: A TODDLER IS GOD. Jack should’ve had the chance to be a kid. Despite his appearances and powers, he’s still new to the world. He’ll make mistakes, just like he did before he was god, but those mistakes will have even greater consequences. I know that was where the story was going and there wasn’t really a way around it, but it just leaves a bitter taste.

10) Not even for destiel reasons, but just the fact that Dean didn’t even talk about Cas’s death. Even if he told Sam about it and said he doesn’t reciprocate those feelings, at least he would have said SOMETHING. “He saved me” isn’t enough, I’m sorry. That’s the reason Cas’s death fits the bury your gays trope; not because Cas came out and died, but because he was practically erased after that.

11) The lack of characters. Go ahead and claim corona restrictions all damn day, there was still a shot at the end with the entire cast and crew smushed together on a bridge. Mask-less. I’m sure there were a few actors who would’ve felt comfortable enough to be in the finale. If schools are able to be open with thousands of kids spreading germs everywhere and endangering each other as well as the teachers, then a show can have like 3 people added to the set for a few scenes.

12) John is with Bobby and Dean in heaven?? THEE abusive John Winchester?? You really think Dean will feel safe with his abusive father right around the corner?? You really think SAM is happy about that?? Bobby wouldn’t stand for that either! They tried to redeem John and his behavior, and that’s honestly inexcusable, that man has no right to be anywhere near those boys.

13) 15 years of character development? I don’t know her <3

14) Bringing back Jenny was pointless I’m sorry it really was, I didn’t even remember her and they killed her off 0.2 seconds after revealing her. I-

15) Might I add that if only 30% of your audience enjoys the finale, you aren’t doing your job correctly lmao

So yeah. If you’d like me to elaborate on any of these points feel free to send me an ask, dm me, or reply to this post. If you’d like to argue with me, feel free to do that too.

[reddeadbread]

hello! how abt an hc of the gang seeing the ghost lady in the swamp with their s/o or with reader being their s/o? I've been trying to write a one-shot abt this but I've been in a terrible writer's block as well. I kinda wanted it to make it for fun bc of halloween, but I'd love to see your hc of it! of javier, john and arthur pls? Or maybe just javier if u dont feel like doing the others. thank you! 💕

hello anon!!! I love this idea and I loved reading all about Agnes Dowd when I first found out about her, that sounds like a cool oneshot!! feel free to send it my way if you decide to do it!

Arthur

- would probably be the least likely to believe it was real, at least at first he assumes it’s some kind of trick. 

- “I’ve seen some act in Saint Denis like this. Mirrors I reckon.”

- if he sees you’re genuinely frightened by this apparition he'd want to protect you of course, keeping you close and trying to make you feel better that way.

- if you want to make further contact with her he’ll do that too, he’s not too afraid but he is still a little bit skeptical at least at first. Whatever he does it’ll probably be for your sake.

John

- definitely gullible enough to believe whatever ghost stories he was told by the campfire when he was a kid and thinks he’s now an expert on the supernatural.

- tries to talk to her very awkwardly, kind of yelling across the swamp at her in an attempt to be helpful

- “Can we help you, Miss? Go into the light!”

- doesn’t want to contact her or look for her again because he doesn’t think it’s safe to interfere with ghosts, but if you insist he isn’t going to let you go alone. He believes it’s real and he believes ghosts are dangerous.

Javier

- I think he’d also believe it was real but he wouldn’t be scared at all and his impression of ghosts aren’t from scary stories

- he’d have more of a religious interpretation of it and would be very respectful of her, probably taking pity on the poor girl after hearing her wail about her tragic story

- he’s of course normally very protective of you but in this case he’d just want to assure you that there was no danger

- “don’t worry mi amor, I don’t think she wants to hurt us.”

[passionate-reply]

In this installment of Great Albums, we’re back to talking about albums nobody’s ever heard of! You might not know who Zaine Griff is, but you’ve probably heard of a guy called Hans Zimmer, and Zimmer is the real mastermind of this record: a masterpiece of New Romantic synth-pop made long before he made his name composing for the big screen! Not to mention contributions from Ultravox’s Warren Cann, YMO’s Yukihiro Takahashi, and even Kate Bush. Find out all about it by watching this video, or reading the full transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today’s installment is going to feature an album that is most definitely towards the obscure side--but, like most of the more obscure artists and albums I’ve talked about, I think this one is every bit as good as the classics. Zaine Griff’s Figures is not only a forgotten album that I think deserves more acclaim, but also an album that, in many ways, feels like it could have been a huge success in its own time.

Zaine Griff grew up in New Zealand, and moved to Great Britain in the 1970s in the hopes of pursuing a career in music. His debut LP, 1980’s Ashes & Diamonds, would mark him as one of the many artists straddling the musical landscape in the aftermath of glam, in the long shadow of David Bowie. With keen visual panache, a suave way of slurring when he sang, and the requisite killer cheekbones, Griff fit in perfectly with the so-called “New Romantics,” as stylish and sophisticated as Visage, Ultravox, or Japan.

Music: “Ashes & Diamonds”

The real turning point in Griff’s career was his being “discovered,” so to speak, by Hans Zimmer and Warren Cann. Cann had already become a figure of some renown, as the percussionist for the aforementioned Ultravox. Despite his tremendous fame today, Zimmer actually had much less to show for himself at this point, aside from a somewhat dodgy stint in the Buggles. While geniuses in their own ways, neither of them were necessarily natural frontmen, and Zaine Griff seemed like the perfect missing piece to fit into their pop ambitions.

Even setting aside Zimmer and Cann, Figures is actually full of recognizable talent, and I think it may have the single most stacked list of album credits I’ve ever seen in my life! You’ll also hear contributions from Yellow Magic Orchestra’s Yukihiro Takahashi, backing vocals from Linda Jardim, who was also the soprano on the Buggles’ famous “Video Killed the Radio Star,” and a guest appearance by none other than Kate Bush. That’s really a lot of clout going around, which is one of the reasons I’m so surprised this album went nowhere. Anyway, that aside, the most dominant sonic footprint on display here is certainly that of Hans Zimmer. Zimmer is credited with producing the album, and his dynamic, expressive, perhaps “cinematic” work with digital synthesisers is surely the driving force behind Figures’s sound.

Music: “Fahrenheit 451”

It’s easy to imagine “Fahrenheit 451” is the thumping theme to some delightfully 80s adaptation of Ray Bradbury’s classic novel. Its theme of lustful but dangerous romance is a constant throughout the album, most notably on tracks like “Hot” and the haunting closer, “The Beating of Wings.” The song’s tense and dramatic mood is well bolstered by those soaring synths, courtesy of the Fairlight CMI. One of the most distinctive sounds of mid-80s synth-pop, the soft, breathy tones of the Fairlight hadn’t yet reached full saturation when Figures was made--Zimmer was an early adopter of this particular musical revolution. You might be surprised to learn that “Fahrenheit 451” only saw minor distribution as a single, exclusively for the French and Belgian markets. I think that sort of mismanagement on behalf of Polydor really shafted this album. Its lead single was actually its title track.

Music: “Figures”

The title track of Figures isn’t the worst song I’ve ever heard, but I do think it just might be the worst song on this album. With a strident, stabbing synth riff and a somewhat sparse and anemic soundstage, the title track is not particularly exciting, and also not particularly representative of what the rest of the album sounds like, with no indication of the lush and vibrant textures that dominate tracks like “Fahrenheit 451.” It also has less lyrics than the other tracks, and offers Griff little opportunity to demonstrate his pipes. Thematically, though, its imagery of wispy and mysterious personas, flitting in and out of substance in a world where appearance and identity are trifling and ephemeral, is something that resonates strongly with the album as a whole, as one might surmise from its title also being used for the album. “The Vanishing Men,” another song that easily feels like a better single than “Figures,” handles the same sort of subject in a more playful and upbeat manner.

Music: “The Vanishing Men”

The titular “vanishing men” are quite clearly the life of the party here, and in the world of this track, the insignificance of true identity is portrayed as an invitation to experiment and have fun with it--though not without a slight hint of danger as well. Perhaps it’s a good metaphor for the curated aestheticism of the New Romantic movement, decried by some as “style over substance.” New Romanticism really didn’t have much time left by the time *Figures* came out, being so strongly associated with trends in fashion that were on their way out by this point. Even Ultravox would find themselves pivoting towards more of a pop rock-oriented sound for their final classic lineup LP, 1984’s Lament. I can’t help but think that the changing landscape of musical trends is part of the poor reception of Figures, which is such a consummate New Romantic album, which basks in the full flush of the movement’s prior penetration into the mainstream. As stated above, “The Vanishing Men” is all about the glamour of mutable identity, but other tracks on the album seem to assign this theme a bit more weight, as in “The Stranger.”

Music: “The Stranger”

The titular character of “The Stranger” is described as “a stranger to himself,” but also “no stranger to anyone else.” This track seems to be more focused on the negative aspects of fashionable persona-play: losing the dignity and security of a true form, the people around you seeing through your charades, and becoming trapped in an existence defined by arbitrariness and artificiality. I’d also be remiss not to mention this track’s winsome pentatonic synth riff, which helps create a mercurial and ambiguous mood. It might be interpreted as a nod towards the rampant Orientalism of New Romantic music, which ran with the early 80s verve for all things Asian, and wasn’t shy about appropriating “Asiatic” musical motives like pentatonic scales to evoke mystery and wonder. Griff and friends’ use of such here is relatively subtle, though, and perhaps a bit more tactful than how many of their contemporaries approached other musical ideas associated with the East.

The unforgettable cover of Figures is as dramatic and infused with capital-R Romantic sentiment as the music contained within. Above the text relating the artist and title, which uses a V for a U for a touch of the classical, we see Griff splayed dramatically in a pond of lilies. With sharp makeup that emphasizes his lips, and a diaphanous, blousy top that turns translucent in the water, he seems to be the perfect tragic hero of some lost work of Shakespeare’s--complete with another flower stylishly pinned to his chest. As I mentioned before, Figures is an album that rides the wave of New Romanticism particularly hard, and I think its cover is yet another symptom of those sensibilities.

Speaking of Shakespeare, I can’t help but want to compare this image with a famous painting of one of Shakespeare’s best-known characters: Ophelia, by Sir John Everett Millais. Painted in the early 1850s, Millais’s Ophelia depicts the moment where Ophelia, driven mad by Hamlet’s romantic rejection of her, drowns herself in a river. It’s exactly the kind of story of wild, passionate, and doomed love portrayed on tracks like “Fahrenheit 451.” Ophelia is also associated strongly with flowers in the text, and features in a particularly memorable scene where she doles out various symbolic blossoms to members of the royal court. Besides the affinity of subject matter, even the composition of Millais’s work resembles the cover of Figures, contrasting its subject’s pale skin with the dark and murky natural surrounds, and emphasizing the drapery of their wettened attire. Ophelia is often considered the definitive masterpiece of the short-lived art movement, the “Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood,” who, as their name implies, sought to recapture the intuitive, colourful, and emotive power of art created prior to the High Renaissance. Not unlike New Romanticism, the Pre-Raphaelite movement would crumble after only a few years, but not without leaving behind a trail of masterpieces that would continue to inspire future artists and admirers, far removed from their own time.

After the release of Figures, Zaine Griff remained involved with Hans Zimmer and Warren Cann, and, as the supergroup “Helden,” they embarked on an even more ambitious musical opus together: Spies, a sort of synth-pop oratorio about immortal Nazi super-spies falling in love in a futuristic dystopia. Spies is about as out-there as it sounds, and brings the flamboyant musical excess of Figures into a suitably theatrical setting. It’s also got nearly as star-studded of a cast as Figures, featuring not only Zimmer, Cann, and Jardim again, but also Eddie Maelov of Eddie & Sunshine as a mad scientist, and the enigmatic French electro-cabaret chanteuse Ronny, in the role of a super-computer with a sultry female voice. Griff portrays one of the titular immortal spies, known only as “The Stranger”--which, of course, begs comparison to the track of the same name on Figures, and prompts the question, to what extent was Spies already in the works when *Figures* was being written and recorded?

Music: “The Ball”

We all know the rest of the story for Hans Zimmer, who began working with music for film in the mid-1980s, such as the queer cult classic My Beautiful Laundrette. But Zaine Griff obviously never became a household name. Despite being finished in 1983, Spies never got to see an official release, as it was a bit too out there for a label to take a chance on at the time, and it would probably be lost media today if it weren’t for a vinyl bootleg that’s thankfully fairly easy to find online. Griff decided to retire from music shortly after this, and recounts a story of having walked past an extremely talented street musician, and having a sort of epiphany about just how hard it was to make it in music. After all, if a true virtuoso could end up busking on the street, how fair and rewarding could the industry possibly be? Disillusioned with the world of pop, Griff returned to his native New Zealand and got a day job as a golf instructor. More recently, though, he’s also released several new solo albums in the 2010s, surprisingly enough, and attempted to push forward into some very contemporary-sounding pop rock. The world is, of course, a very different place nowadays than it was in the 20th Century, and particularly in the world of music distribution, so perhaps it makes sense that our brave new world has room in it for someone like Zaine Griff to return.

My overall favourite track on Figures is probably “Time Stands Still,” which I think is perhaps the most accessible, pop-friendly track to be had on the album, and the one I would’ve released as the lead single had I worked for Polydor. With a big hook and simple, repetitive lyrics, it’s a true pop song through and through--though, if an artist releases a commercial-sounding album in the woods, and nobody is around to buy it, is it still really “pop?” Anyway, I also love this track’s delightful outro, imitating a skipping record to represent a freeze in the flow of time...though I admit it’s a lot less harrowing to hear when listening digitally! That’s all I have for today--thanks for listening.

Music: “Time Stands Still”

[everythingoesnk]

Better Late Than Never

summary; john plays cupid (sorta?)

word count; 1 711

request by anon; “heehee i never knew u took requests!! ur writing is so lovely u rlly are talented❤️❤️ i was wondering if u could do smthg ab being georgies neighbour and like him n the quarrymen r rehearsing and they invite u to watch and they flirt w u and he gets jealous”

disclaimers; this sat in my drafts for ages but i finally finished it. glad that i can post it for once and for all. don’t be too hard on me cause i haven’t written shit in so long and i’m super sceptical about my work ty

warnings;

********

A few weeks earlier, Paul and John made the decision that Eric Griffiths had to go. They wanted George to be part of the group, and with Eric on board there were just too many guitars. The Quarrymen, along with Lowe on the piano and Hanton on the drums, had a demo recording scheduled in Kensington in a couple of days, so whenever they had the time, they would invest it in practising and sprucing up their performance.

You were coming back home after babysitting a three-year-old boy when you saw Paul and John’s distinctive jaunty silhouettes down the street.

They were carrying their instruments.

”Reunion of bitches?” you teased, bumping your shoulders with theirs to open a spot for you in between.

They were so used to you being a nosy little bird that they didn’t even flinch when you appeared.

“If what you mean by that is if we’re heading to a rehearsal, yes we are” Paul confirmed looking down at you with a warm smile. He slid his arm around your neck and patted your cheek persistently just to annoy you. “It’s the three of us this time, the others are busy”

You tried to smack his hand away while he spoke, but he had it strongly clamped over your mouth now, playfully sticking to his cat-and-mouse game. John was used to Paul behaving like this around you, you being like a little sister to him even though you shared the same age, so he didn’t move an inch when you began asking for help through the muffled laughter.

What came out of his mouth instead earned puzzled looks from you and Paul, who slowly let his arm drop.

“You can’t come” he had stated, because he knew you and it was only a matter of seconds before you started badgering them to let you stay and watch them play.

“Why not?” you snapped back, forehead puckered up.

John threw his head back to stare at Paul and raised an inquisitive knowing eyebrow at him.

After witnessing the looks they were giving each other, you huffed loudly, tired of the melodramatic secrecy. “Not again with the silent conversations”

“You can’t expect to know everything, (Y/N)” John stated.

“But what is there to know?” you questioned, beyond confused.

You were missing something and it was stressing you out that they knew what it was but wouldn’t tell you because they didn’t feel like it.

Paul felt empathy for you after seeing you so lost.

“We don’t progress much when you’re around because you distract Geo too much” he explained.

“Bravo, Macca” John sighed as the three of you continued to walk towards George’s house.

With their ‘silent conversation’ they agreed not to rat out George, but Paul’s mouth was faster than his brain could ever be.

John should have taken into account his mate’s overspoken nature.        

“I do?” you said, lines forming between your brows, not understanding. “How so?”

John snorted. “Sit and observe”

You turned to Paul. He was staring at John the same way one does when you recognize your friend is about to put on a show and you aren’t very sure if it’s the right time or place, but you know that anything you say will fly into their ear and out of the other.

He fixed his eyes tenderly on you after and shrugged his shoulders with a peculiar cheekiness.

//

George looked every bit the unconcerned man as he sat back and watched John plop down on the couch next to you, splaying his arms along the top of the seat as he asked you how much you get paid for the babysitting.

They were in a break after been playing for two hours.

“Not much” you noted.

“Quit” he interrupted, smirking friskily and brushing a strand of hair behind your ear cautiously. “I’ll double your wage if you join the band. We are missing the attractive factor”

You wheezed. “I’m positive with your talent it’ll be sufficient” you said, laughing still.

You looked over at George. He wasn’t looking in your direction but John’s, mouth compressed and something you couldn’t fathom flitting across his eyes.

“Besides,” you added, “I don’t know how to play any instrument to save my life”

“The piano a little bit” George chimed in, after deliberating whether to speak or not.

You blushed settling your gaze on him one more time, marvelled that he remembered. “It’s been years since I last practised”

“If the piano is too much I’ll give you my harmonica. I’m fucking tired of blowing into that shit” John offered, resting his left hand on your thigh and giving it a firm squeeze.

Everyone laughed except George. He didn’t even smile.

He dipped his eyes and ran a finger over his brow back and forth for a couple of seconds before grabbing his guitar again.

Something was off with him, and it upset you that he was feeling under the weather when Paul, John and you were vibing and having such a wonderful time.

John kissed your cheek and cuddled you after wrapping his leather jacket around you even though you didn’t ask for it. George saw and shook his head gently, forcing himself to continue working on his part so he would nail it in the upcoming session. His mind was elsewhere and the chords didn’t sound as good as he wanted them to be. He brought his brows together and you stifled an affable grin, observing silently while he mumbled under his breath, probably putting himself down for not getting them right.

John smiled seeing you stare at George, but Paul knew what that smile meant, what was really behind it, and he started gesturing at him as subtle as he could not to push his luck with George. He’d keep his conscience clean regardless of what happened from now on.

John’s smile enlarged when he saw his best mate from the corner of his eye trying to catch his attention, but he had it all mapped out in his head.

He leaned forward, elbows on the knees and fingers interlocked.

“(Y/N), is it true that you’ve been seeing Sam?”

You looked over at John, perplexed.

George also raised his gaze, disconcertion lurking in it.

Paul slapped a hand to his forehead.

Clueless as to why he would ask that, you turned pink. “Where have you heard that?”

George interpreted your blush as you being embarrassed because you got caught, and your question as wanting to know who spillt the news. The suave yet pained expression tinted on his face was replaced by a rather sad and fragile one.

Instinctively, you pinned your eyes to George’s when John didn’t answer you. You weren’t dating anyone named Sam and you didn’t want him to believe that you did.

He remained there staring what felt like a lifetime into your eyes, only for his to fall to the floor seconds after. He stood up and paced to the door.

Envy overloaded him, making his jealously evolve into what a romantic would describe as passional delirium.

Hastily, he turned, came up to you and closed his fingers over your arm. John watched with a wry grin.

“Can we talk?” George asked, his tone filled with forced politeness.

You nodded and let him guide you towards his kitchen.

He looked over his shoulder first to confirm that neither of his bandmates had followed you there.

Then, for a few seconds, he froze. You noticed he was agitated and internally saturated with mixed feelings.

Out of the blue, he straightened his spine, a different kind of thickness filling his throat. Determined to overcome his shyness and insecurity, he gave a long exhale. Throwing you off guard, he grabbed your face, fingers gripping tightly your cheeks, and pressed his mouth to yours so enthusiastically that you subtly felt his front teeth.

Excitement and love rushed into your veins.

You kissed him back and wrapped your arms around his waist, knowing from the get go that this wasn’t going to be the last time that you would taste his lips. George couldn’t open his eyes at first after having departed from the kiss, which turned out to be the best and most pleasant, pure and precious kiss he had ever shared.

When he flicked them open, he couldn’t resist the drive to glide his thumb over the soft skin of your sweet fleshy lips.

John suddenly burst into the kitchen pretending to pull off that the obtrusion was casual. The real and obvious reason was that he wanted to see what was going on behind curtains.

George quickly pulled back.

That reaction and the swollen lips from both of you was enough for John.

“Don’t mind me. Just came here for something to drink” he said, but the clownery in his voice was oh so present and solid.

Cheeks burning, George didn’t move.

John, with the glass in his hand, turned to him before leaving.

“I mean, maybe it’s you who needs some water. You look feverish, my friend”

You quickly pushed him out of the kitchen.

George slowly looked up again when he wasn’t around. “There’s no Sam, is there?”

You shook your head no. “John is a crackhead, a good bloke but a crackhead. Never listen to him, listen to me” you smiled. He drew you into his arms, missing your warmth already. “I’m not dating Sam, Geo. He’s blond and I’m not into blondes”

George chuckled. “What are you into, then?” he asked, needing to hear from you that you only wanted him.

“I’m into this guy from The Quarrymen. Not the one who plays the bass, and clearly not the blind one, he’s too much of a ponce sometimes” you smirked. “Into the bushy unibrow guy”

He laughed harder and tightened his embrace.

“Lucky you he’s had his eye and unibrow on you for some time”

“Sweet, cause I’ve been in love with him ever since I met him”

George stared dearly down at you with the brightest smile and captured your lips again.

He didn’t know if John was a genius or a foolish cretin for causing him to feel so enraged before, making him believe you had a boyfriend.

The perfect mix, he conceded.