#also is it me or does it look like Maxie’s wearing some kind of jacket ? keeping his son nice and cozy

[nicoscheer]

The reel 😂

Nearly cried at the little turtle silhouette, not Miles going ‘a couple of weeks off from gigs now to chill’ sweetheart the 7th is barely two weeks away😂

[empress-of-snark]

What kind of fashion styles does everyone have in your friends au fic? Is Eddie into the grunge scene? I can see Chrissy wearing those cute floral maxi dresses and Nancy dressing like Monica. Sorry if this is a stupid question. Lol.

Not stupid at all! In fact, this was a fun opportunity to put together some fashion inspiration for each character!

Chrissy:

Overall, I think her style is a healthy mix of Rachel’s and Phoebe’s. Very feminine, lots of fun colors, and I definitely agree about maxi dresses. I also love the 90’s trend of dresses over tee shirts (a la picture three) and she’d absolutely rock that look.

Nancy:

Resident mom jeans enthusiast. Her style is definitely very similar to Monica’s—crisp button-ups, one or two casual dresses, and an overall more muted color palette than Chrissy. I really like the yellow blouse on the far right cause it gives off such strong Nancy vibes.

Robin:

A bit tougher because her style is much more tomboyish than Phoebe, who prefers flowing skirts/dresses and floral patterns. I think Robin likes clothes that are comfortable and non-restrictive. The third picture is what I imagine a more formal outfit might look like for her.

Eddie:

Definitely grunge. Similar to his style in canon, but a little less leather and a little more plaid. But he still has a lot of band tees and still likes his jeans ripped. Overall, very dark color palette. I also included one of his costume test photos here cause I love the look of the plaid shirt under a leather jacket.

(And if any of the guys were to pull a Ross and try leather pants, it would be him. And he’d look good doin’ it.)

(Honestly, Ross looked good doin’ it, too, let’s be real here. It was a LOOK. Plus his scene later on where he can’t get the pants back on is genuinely the funniest bit of physical comedy in the entire show. Makes me cry with laughter every time.)

Jonathan:

Pretty simple outfits. He’s very much not fussy when it comes to clothes, and likely prefers dark and more neutral colors. I think his style most closely resembles Chandler’s—basic button-ups, comfortable sweatshirts, etc. And did I include the second photo (of a young DiCaprio) purely because he’s holding a camera? Yeah, kinda.

Steve:

Denim, denim, denim. Close to what he already wears in canon, honestly. Sweatshirts, tee shirts, and denim jackets. Our boy is a preppy jock and it shows. Pretty close to Joey’s style, but with some of Ross’s more colorful shirts thrown in here and there.

Thanks so much for the question! This was a fun trek through Pinterest.

[mammons-tax-returns]

How would Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Barbatos, Solomon, and Diavolo react to a male MC who wears skirts (because *chants* men in skirts, it’s masculine af) on the daily? bonus if the MC wears black nail polish!

REACTING TO MC THAT WEARS SKIRTS

LOVE THIS PROMPT 🙏

During this I imagined 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻TANGO DANCER SOLOMON and thats going into my art idea list

masterlist

✖️MALE MC✖️

Not unlike all the other boys, Lucifer is willing to risk it all as soon as he sees it.

His favorite cut of skirt is the classic a-line ones, both modest and not.

A CLOSE second goes to wrap skirts.

This is a SFW blog so I will not be going into any detail at this time ✨

Literally loses his breath everytime he sees MC, and it surprises him.

If MC isn’t already wearing the RAD skirt, he’s already offering to get him a set. Almost too eagerly?

When MC decides to not wear a skirt one day, he tries not to make it too obvious, but he’s simply curious as to why is all. Maybe a tad bit let down.

MC insisted one time that Lucifer painted his nails for him, and...

“Well, normally Asmo is the one doing that for all of us...”

“But Lucifer 🥺”

“Alright... Fine. But I’ll have to continue my paperwork in between each layer.

It’s just kinda cute to think that he would spend an incredibly unnecessary amount of time on each nail, trying to perfectly lay down the polish. Occasionally, his tongue will poke out because of his concentration.

There’s some slip ups here and there, but mentioning them will only get him flustered.

I don’t use this word lightlySIMP SIMP SIMP

He thinks he loves MC in every skirt imaginable just as equally as the last (which, he actually might) but deep down he can’t deny that a mini skirt just hits different.

The first time he saw MC wearing a mini skirt, mammon’s initial reaction was to cover him up before anyone could see him.

However, he failed to realize that he was actually the last of the brothers to see him, since he woke up late.

But that’s just what being the avatar of greed does to you. You just want to keep what’s yours, no matter what.

But considering his jacket isn’t as big as Lucifer’s or Solomon’s, he ended up just holding it up against MC’s lower half and stood in front of him.

It took the coaxing of MC and the snark comments of his siblings to make Mammon finally allow MC to walk around freely.

Looking back on it, Mammon most certainly understands why even Asmo had called him clingy.

But even now, he can’t help but hold MC a little bit closer in public when so many demons are staring at him! It just feels wrong to allow them to do that.

Cut him some slack, he thinks MC looks amazing, and he trusts him, but they’re literally in hell surrounded by demons. He just wants to keep his boy safe <33

Levi doesn’t even realize what MC’s wearing at first.

In fact, he doesn’t realize even after their first FEW encounters.

He only notices because while Mammon was ranting to him and Satan about money, he brings up MC and his “stupid and cute but also dumb skirts”

Levi is baffled that he’s the only one that hasn’t noticed it. So, the next time he walks by MC’s room, he contemplates stopping by to talk. Right... Socialize. That.

While Levi is stuck in his thoughts, MC opens the door, presumably ready to go out to a party with Mammon and Asmo.

*fish man short circuits*

MC looks...! S-so cute....!

- thinks the third born otaku.

Because I’m big on fashion, I can kind of picture an exact skirt I feel would apply to him. Let your mind run free but I imagine a semi-sheer maxi skirt with water-like embellishments uwu

But don’t get me wrong, Levi literally loves seeing MC in skirts so anything will get him like 😳 yall know how he is

Actually starts to get more interested in feminine fashion because of MC. And one day, he purchases a long black skirt from Akuzon.

He saw a popular cosplayer wearing one, and so he makes that his excuse.

No one even realizes the change except for Asmo, who gushes over the new look, even if it barely changed. MC also notices, but only compliments him/brings it up when they’re alone so Levi doesn’t overheat.

I was this close to typing “Satan is a man of beauty and FASHION” can you believe that

OKAY ENOUGH SATAN SLANDER

Satan... He can recognize when someone else looks ridiculous.

But he knows for a FACT. That MC very likely pulls off a skirt better than anyone he’s seen before.

Call him biased, but he sincerely loves it on MC specifically.

He likes the puffier skirts because they’re ADORBS, but for a more casual look, there’s this one asymmetrical skirt in particular that makes MC look so handsome to him.

He has no idea why men don’t wear skirts more often! Surely MC isn’t the only one that can do it!

Oh. Right. Gender norms 😪🤚🏼

Satan feels his anger crawl up his skin when he watches MC get ridiculed. And just for something he simply enjoys wearing! The nerve of demons.

He advances to “de-escalate” the situation in the most “avatar of wrath” way possible, but when he sees MC’s slumped shoulders walking away from him, he feels more inclined to follow and comfort him.

Satan gives an icy glare to the irrelevant demons, taking note of their faces, and goes after MC.

He doesn’t immediately bring up the situation, instead opting to go out on a spontaneous date to a nice café or a shopping district. Anything to distract from the situation subtly.

If his plan works out, splendid. Anything to make light of situation without even addressing it for even a day is good.

If the shopping and food doesn’t quite bring MC’s smile to his eyes, Satan will just have to be forward with his feelings for once.

“MC. I’m not entirely sure how I can get it through to you, but you shouldn’t be worrying about what some moronic, low-level demons think of you or your clothes. Much less what they say. Just be you, and make them suffer ten times worse.”

MC relishes in his words, even if the last bit sounded more like a threat than anything.

The last thing Satan would ever do is let MC even hesitate wearing an outfit that he would have had no trouble throwing on any other day because of someone else.

Asmo screams (in a happy way)

“No, Mammon! You’re wrong. MC is NOT my personal dress-up doll! He’s my model.”

Trying to break the stigma around Asmo’s “shallow” personality, let’s get the obvious things out of the way.

He and MC shop together pretty much every other day. It’s almost concerning. And nail appointments are, of course, regular.

NOW THAT THAT’S OVER,

Yes yes, Asmo loves the skirts and wonderfully glossy black nails, but there’s still such a massive divide between him and MC. Not physically, or even relationship-wise.

He’s never met someone like MC, who is so fashion-heavy and just the right amount of self-centered.

He thinks its the fact that they’re a human and demon. But he’s seen firsthand that the line between what makes a demon so different from a human is very thin. Solomon is an example of that.

But he realizes it’s just MC. He’s simply dressing for himself and himself only.

Asmo loves himself, there’s no doubt. And it’s nice to go out and dress fancy for others. He couldn’t dream of another lifestyle.

But he has to admit that what MC is doing is working for him. He comes off as a charming sort of man when he ignores the negative comments made about his clothes.

He knows that people in both Devildom and the human realm are a little sensitive when it comes to men in skirts. And the fact that MC continues to wear them is beautiful in and of itself.

This got kind of deep out of nowhere and i apologize but Asmo deserves to be seen for more than he’s constantly portrayed as 😞

Diavolo isn’t really thrown off that much by it at first, but as time passes, he starts to understand the appeal of skirt-wearing MC.

PENCIL SKIRT LOVER 🚨🔊PENCIL SKIRT LOVER🚨🚨🚨🔊🔊🔔🗯

Barbatos has to remind him that it’s rude to stare, but he finds it almost entertaining how whipped they BOTH are for MC.

Like Asmo, he actually loves bringing him out to shop!

The only difference between the two experiences is that Diavolo has no fucking idea what he’s doing when he picks out clothes for him.

Which leads to some pretty funny/terrible clothing combinations.

No, Diavolo, MC will not be wearing a flannel top with a camouflage hi-low skirt. Put those plaid socks away.

He’s confused and even a little sad when MC continues to turn down his ideas, but he figures that he should turn this into a learning opportunity.

So he lets MC grab whatever he wants, and patiently waits for him to finish up in the fitting rooms.

The store clerk is shitting her pants at the sight of the literal future ruler of Devildom hyping MC up with the energy of a puppy retriever.

Barbatos does an amazing job pretending like this doesn’t affect him.

He’s a classy man, he just internally loses it when he sees MC in any fancy skirt, really. From silky gold ruffles to a victorian-esc vibe, he’s obsessed.

So when Diavolo makes arrangements for an event/ball, Barbatos makes sure to, at the very least, offer to help MC get ready at the castle. He may not be the most fashion-centric but being able to spend time with MC in an extravagant get up is enough to make a demon butler interested.

Most of the time he’s disappointed because in between the seven brothers, he’d be lucky to be able to see MC at all because of how jealous they can all get.

I can imagine that even Diavolo doesn’t get to hear what Barbatos has to say about MC and his ability to make him weak at the knees.

But all it takes is Diavolo prompting, “MC’s outfit tonight... It was a sight for sore eyes, correct?”

Then, Barbatos lets a compliment or two slip out.

I can also imagine MC wearing a slightly short snd flowy skirt, and some rather disgusting demons waiting for it to get picked up by the wind, only for Barbatos to already be there, discreetly holding the fabric down and shooting them an intensely calm smile

Barbatos will always be one step ahead of creeps.

👀..

sneaky boy is sneaky.. especially with the constant glances he gives MC.

Solomon’s favorite type of skirt to see on MC is DEFINITELY pleated. No other option.

Unlike Lucifer, if MC isn’t wearing a skirt, he makes it clear that he wishes he would’ve.

It’s in a playful manner, though! Don’t worry.

“No skirt today? Bummer. That’s fine though, I can’t expect myself to feel attracted any less.”

I imagine MC wearing a flowy skirt to some sort of event at the demon lord’s castle, and he uses his magic to make it temporarily sparkle or shine.

This mf flashy and wants EVERYONE to know that MC is dancing with HIM and no one else.

But if you ask him about it, what? What’re you talking about? Lights?? Emitting from your skirt??? While we were dancing ?¿ Crazy talk. I would never do such a thing.,.

As childish as it is, he loves to see the way it flows when MC twirls or turns.

Not in a weird way, either. It’s just beautiful to him.

So, not to be cheesy (which he WITHOUT A DOUBT is.) but he’ll occasionally just spin MC by his hand throughout the day, then catch/dip him by the waist.

[lingerieshub15x-blog]

Just How to Look Better in Your Clothes

We're perched in a back corner of his atelier for a photo-shoot fitting. Together we've determined that I'll wear a shapely skirt match, and also though it's my size-- a 12-- it does not fit. The skirt is so tight it will not whiz up. The coat fits in the shoulders but hushes my midsection. And also the mermaid shape is so tight I can not stroll at all. As you can envision, I'm ashamed-- and also briefly think about competing the door. Posen is unfazed. Actually, he's currently remeasuring so he can inform where to pin, blurt, and absorb the garments. "Alterations," he informs me, "are the game changer when it pertains to the excellent fit." And when he's done, voila: The skirt zooms, the jacket suits, and also I can move. "The best tailoring can make any garment benefit any body," says Posen. "And it can make you feel great-- especially when, nowadays, a lot of clothing is two-dimensional, yet in the real world every body is various, and ladies have contours." As a dimension 12, those words struck house for me. I commonly feel excluded by fashion: In a basic size range, a 12 is regularly as well limited; in a plus-size variety, also the smallest 14 is also vast. I've learned to look around this problem, but I'm still left standing in a dressing room feeling defeated greater than I would certainly like to confess. And also I'm not alone. Females of lots of body kinds struggle to fit appropriately right into garments-- so let's throw down the gauntlet! Isn't it time we quit attempting to suit our clothing as well as have our clothes fit us instead? Right here are a couple of pointers on how to start:

Tip One: Ignore Your Size

That's right-- ignore. Sizes range countries, companies, as well as also write-ups of clothes. The U.S. government has actually been attempting to fix this trouble via regulation since the 1940s, however instead, the scenario has in fact become worse, with the arrival of vanity sizing-- in which larger garments are identified with smaller numbers to lure clients (that's why the 00 currently exists). "The attitude that the cheapest dimension is best requirements to go out the window," states plus-size version as well as stylist Candice Huffine. "It's just a number that somebody made up" Her recommendations? "Try on several dimensions, bigger and smaller," she states. "Some people have tag anxiety: They don't intend to get a bigger dimension due to the number on the tag. If you appreciate that, cut the tags out when you obtain home!"

Step Two: Shop for Your Biggest Part

It's an easy truth that changes everything: Buy a product to fit the widest component of your body as well as take the remainder of the garment in. That indicates say goodbye to coats that gape muffin-top-inducing and open jeans. (Amen!). " I'm a fan of sports jackets," states Huffine. "But when I locate one that fits via my shoulders and also bust, the waist is often as well large. I purchase for my widest component, then create a shapely by absorbing the belly.". So what does this mean for your shape? If you're pear-shaped, acquire to fit your base and also take in elsewhere. "I have a small waist and also bigger hips," says celeb stylist Sara Paulsen, who's worked with Mindy Kaling. "I commonly put on A-line and flounce-hem skirts, which stabilize my proportions. I get to fit my hip, then take the waist in-- I in some cases also nip a fitted skirt right under the butt to create a complementary contour.". The widest component of your body might be your shoulders and also arms if you're muscular. "I have a tendency to have to fit my arms in jackets as well as take the body in," states Hannah Bronfman, the owner of fitness website HBfit.com. "I constantly buy a size larger and make adjustments.". Height can likewise make it harder to use off-the-rack apparel. "It's truly tough for brief women to put on midi skirts," claims celeb stylist Kate Young-- whose customers include Selena Gomez and Natalie Portman. "They make you look much shorter. Either go maxi-- to the flooring-- or have actually the hem occupied over the knee.". Tall women deal with the contrary problem. "Finding clothes that really fit my body has actually been a lifelong struggle," states cover girl and also jeans developer Karlie Kloss. "Growing up, I found that if pants were long sufficient, they were a lot as well large; if they fit in the midsection, they were way also brief." If that sounds like you, get a length that fits and have a tailor readjust the waist-- or seek to the option Kloss herself designed, a Frame Denim line with 40-inch inseams.

[allstarsstorymode867]

All-Stars -Story Mode- CHAPTER 15 Pt. 4

Part 3      Part 5

It’s been a rough typing and editing here and there on the fanfiction story, with patience and perseverance, I can finally post part 4 here.

I want you guys to give credit to @sampoststuff and @nan14bread for the artwork for Pt. 4 so give them love and follow them. Anyways, enjoy the part.

[Meanwhile with Primis Richtofen…]

“HELLO?!” P!Richtofen screamed as he ran around the area while looking around for his teammates, he is in an unknown place, a void of sunlight and the only surface is a water-like ground as it’s colored is in a crimson shade of red.

“Dempsey?! Takeo?! Nikolai!?” He called out as he looked around, water splashing around him and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he’s scared…. He’s afraid.

“But… B-but…” he babbled before hearing a female voice laughed, he knew that voice doesn’t belong to Samantha or anyone else but he knew this was not good.

“Enjoying yourself, Doctor?~ Are you feeling it now?~” the voice taunted while P!Richtofen looked around frequently, taking a couple steps back while doing so. The voice taunted him again saying “Those blood vials you’ve and your allies got, the qoute-unqoute “insurance policy” that you called it now, is it? You knew that “Doctor” Monty was going to bring it up and too bad for him, I am too powerful and smarter nerd than he is. I am on no one’s side but mine!~”

“J-Just…. Vho are you?!” he jabbed as he looked around the area, he’s helpless, weaponless and hopeless to stand against whoever’s behind all of this. Behind all of the chaos that has been going on.

“Who am I? Who am I??” the voice cried, sounded offended when he asked her, “Why “Minster” Richtofen! You sound feel honored to meet someone as broken and hopeless as you!” as Richtofen was obvious to the danger that is coming from behind him from within the water.

“I am beyond pain and ruin, above all else, I am Broken but I swear for the unspoken: I may be broken as a porcelain doll but I am still here!" she declared as Richtofen turned to see a little too late and saw tentacles made out of strange types of fabric had suddenly attacked. Richtofen tried to squirm his way out of them but they are much stronger than he thought.

He let out a scream as he is pulled downward into the raging water and babbles are popping out of his mouth, he tried struggling to get out when he felt something hit his head very hard, knocking him out cold.

Tentacles then dissolves into nothing as he floated downward towards the dark unknown below, his clothes began to change as well. The straps that are secured tightly around his torso had broken off and floated upwards with his blood vials.

[Drawn a while ago by Meaghan “Iceifr” Halter]

His clothes had changed color, his pants had turned from blue to red, his vest into teal green, his dress shirt into gray navy blue, he had even a long trench coat with two new straps and he even wore gloves. One more addition had appeared around his neck and a greek symbol, Delta is then linked on the chain string, forming a necklace as it glowed purple.

A song is playing softly in the background, it had sing:

Drowning in silence gasping and violent Crying and cold I know you never knew me I'm thinking all the way down In darker, deeper, freezing water

As he floated down backwards, making it look like he is falling from the sky head first into the abyss when a hand had reached out, a human hand, not a zombie, not Hallow. Just a normal human hand reaching from below him and then dragged him deeper into the water to which it’s started to turn from red to blue slowly as the song reaches to it’s fated end as everything is turning to white.

It's colder even now...

He then woke up, just like that, he found himself looking at the nighttime sky from where he’s at, it’s beautiful with all the stars and the moon out but that feeling that was there had short lived when he felt a sharp pain from his left arm.

He hissed in pain and then sat up to look at it and saw that his hand and arm are covered in cuts and thorns are still stuck in it. He reached for one thorn and then pulled it out and then recoiled back in pain.

“G-Guys?” Miss Pauling groaned as she rolled over, Diego is starting to wake up and then realized that he is on top of Scarlett, shocked by this revelation, he froze in place when Scarlett begins to wake up as well and noticed that she is under him.

Silence has filled around them for a moment as they looked at each other, “Well… This is a familiar situation.” he finally said as he looked at her, earning a sigh from her in return.

“What, you falling asleep on top of me?” she scolded as she gently pushes him off of her, Diego landed onto his back with a groan of pain as others around him began to wake up from their slumber.

“Oh… Mah head…” Engineer mumbled as he rubbed his head in aching pain, he looked around and noticed Pyro is about an itch far from him, “Pyro…” he muttered as he is surprised to see them lying on the ground before stumbling onto his feet and then ran to their side as he slid onto his knee-protecting caps he had strapped on.

“Pyro!” Engineer maintained from yelling, shaking them gently as he looked at them and noticed a crack on one of their eye lenses of their gas mask. “Aw hell, what happened when we’re out?” he demanded as he looked at them.

A muffed groan came out from them, Engineer looked at Pyro with relief and said “Thank god, you’re alright, Pyro.” just when Medic had awoken with a splitting headache.

Pyro looks at the Engineer and must’ve noticed they had a crack on the len of their mask, they must've panicked when they saw it when they saw Engineer so they had called out “Medic!”

“H-Huh…?” Medic said confused, looking over as he picked up his Medigun while Primis Nikolai and Shaw begins to wake up as well. He stumbled over to the two and kneels down to Pyro and asked “Are you hurt?” when he noticed a crack in the len, he rolled his eyes and then activated the Medigun right away without a word for a little bit for the len to be repaired.

P!Richtofen turned his head to the field and called out “Medic!” as he happened to use a cloth he had for the wounds on his arm to briefly stopped the bleeding, Medic looked over to the Primis Doctor after he finished fixing Pyro’s len. He ran over to him and then healed him with a medical beam with a usual pace and annoyed expression that Richtofen had acknowledged. “Does this happened often, Doctor?” he asked, the fellow German looked at the doctor with a confused look, “Hm? Oh… I had often gotten used to zhis routine, if you had discovered this type of healing medicine und zhen solution becomes a daily routine in zhe Gravel Wars.” he answered with honestly as he leaned a hand for the doctor, Edward then grabbed and then was pulled up onto his feet with Medic’s help. “It must’ve been a problem type zhan solution.” he said as he dusted himself off as Medic chuckled.

“It may be annoying problem but do not vorry mein friend, you’ll get used to it.” Medic humored with a smile, the way he talked reminds Richtofen of his friend and companion, Dr. Ludwig Maxis and looked up to him as a father figure when his parents passed away unexpectedly.

Nikolai is the one who noticed that they are no longer in the Caves but somewhere else they had never been.

“Where are we?” Nikolai groaned as he looked over to see Ultimis Dempsey and Takeo there as well, “Seems like an unfamiliar place,” Shaw stated as he surveyed the area and as well hearing sounds of a town going through some type of riot, “An unfamiliar place that is surrounding a park. How strange.”

“What the…” U!Dempsey muttered as he looked around with his Takeo who are astonished to see a place surrounding the natural park. “Guys… I think we’re in a mall.” Miss Pauling answered as the members of Primis, Chaos and Ultimis looked at her with even more confusion about the mall.

“The what?” Takeo questioned as he and Dempsey are suspecting about this place, “She said you are in a mall, what are you; deaf?” another new voice had suddenly chirped up with seriousness tone sharpen it.

They turned to look who had said that and see a very pale skin man wearing three layers of clothes: on his upper body, a button-up white shirt with a protruding collar kept partially buttoned, a plain gray hoodie, and a black leather jacket with a red interior, two horizontal white lines on each sleeve, and a red tribal design on the back. On his lower body, he wears plain blue jeans and black shoes.

He is standing with his back against a tree, his arms crossed together as he looked at them with his eyes are light blue and had constantly have a sickly gray tinting around them while he was wearing a hood over his head.

“Are you people lost or something?” the man said in an ominous tone, Takeo gently placed his hand on the handle of his katana sword as he felt a grim araroa coming off of him, Shaw swiftly held his arm out to stop him before he could draw it out.

The man seemed to have noticed this and said “I guess this outbreak had you guys on edge too, did it?” as he tilted his head to aside before walking towards them.

“Outbreak?” Nikolai said in shock, “What kind of outbreak is it?” he questioned as he took a couple of steps back away from this man approaching him. “Well, it’s a zombie-related outbreak and from what I can tell that this town is infested with them by now.” he answered as he stopped in his tracks.

Everyone looked at each other in shock and overwhelmed while the man watched, Pyro did turn their head back at him to look at, they are wasn't so sure if they all should trust him after since they had just meet him tonight and also… He was almost not human-like at all.

“How bad was it?” Dempsey ordered, feeling his marine side kicking in as he looked at the man, he had an almost expressionless look and he answered “I think it’s best that you should see it for yourselves but be careful, there are people that are still ass-shaken with all the hell happened.”

“Gotcha.” Dempsey nodded and looked over to everyone, waves his hand for them to follow him and then looks at the man before saying “I’m Dempsey, thanks for the help.” “The name’s Alex Mercer by the way, and you’re welcome.” the now-named man said before turning around and then walking away with Dempsey protesting “Hey, where ya going?”

Alex only turned around and looked at him, “Going for a place to hide like other survivors here and if we ever meet up again, I will be generous to help you guys out.” he cautioned as he turned and then continued walking away.

Ultimis Dempsey shook his head as he turned to everyone and said, “Alright, let’s go see the damages.” then walking ahead of the group and others did so.

[45 minutes later]

They all got there and they saw townspeople screaming, crying and panicking as they held their loved ones close, their confused and don’t know what to do, one hispanic man in a black dress shirt had got up with a bat, the woman, presumingly his girlfriend or wife had got up and asked “H-Hey! Where are you going?!”

“Stay alive! I’m getting help!” he answered as he headed for the direction of the zombie’s groans, “With those f*&^ing things out there, are you insane?!” she yelled as she stood there after she stopped following him.

“Yeah!”

“But it’s not safe!” Black african man with a yellow dress shirt with a tie and brown pants and leather shoes yelled, putting his hand on his shoulder to stop him, making him look at him in anger and disbelief.

“Brad!” another female voice called out, a white caucasian woman wearing grey formal clothing, under shirt, necklace, skirt and black shoes is kneeling down to one of the townies and that he was injured, making Brad let go of the bat-helding man to go over to her.

They are seeing them trying to treat the person as Brad said “How bad is it, Jesse?” as he looked at him and seeing a bite mark on his left wrist. Jesse can only answer “Pretty bad, Brad.”

Miss Pauling wasn’t sure what to make out of this chaos that is undergoing as she looked over to other group of survivors. One woman with a cellphone that she had never seen before and it looked brand new as she is trying to get out a call but couldn’t as she said “I… I can’t get a signal… Why- Why can’t I get a signal?”

Man who was traumatized then begins to babble things such as this “I-I was holding onto her and t-they had her, she was there for a minute then suddenly she went down with those things without a sound a-and I don’t know what to do, I-I just ran!” while he moved around constantly.

Richtofen was busy as he looked at the survivors until he looked at a young woman, the only one that doesn’t look modern as everyone else.

Her skin is sickly pale with disheveled shoulder-length dull brown hair, which looked like it was growing back after it had been once cut off against her will. Her cheeks are gaunt and she looks even more borderline anorexic and exhausted. Her eyes have darkened skin around them, giving the impression that she is tired or has been crying. He noticed that the cuts were her suicide cuts on her once-bloody wrists appear to have been healed.

She looked like was suffering from poverty and couldn't afford basic clothing, someone must have given her clothes. For what she wears, she wears a filthy black-and-white dress with a striped, long-sleeved top and black skirt, complete with black stockings, ankle-high boots, and a dirty white apron.

Young woman was underweight and fragile figure; she is borderline anorexic with a dangerously small waist, implying malnourishment. She has dark hair, a long oval-shaped face and large eyes with a shade of emerald-green. She is of average height for a woman, possibly slightly under average.

She was looking at the situation they are in before noticing Richtofen was looking at her as she looked back, looking at him with a look that can only say “We need to get out of here.” with her hand close to her face.

Richtofen was heading to her but another african man had cut in front of him, one thing the Doctor had noticed that his man is in his mid-50s, around 6 feet tall (1.83 m), mark on his neck is his thickly scar on his neck and he appeared to be wearing a normal civilian’s clothing; he is wearing a dress shirt with a black coat, black jeans and casual black shoes.

“Hey!” he said, “You can go around flirting around women later but can’t you see the situation we are in?!” as he points at the see-through doors with zombies that are… Confusing.

They looked like they were eaten, their eyes are glowing red as they are scratching their arms and necks like they had an itch. Their injuries are usual as their zombies are, with open wounds and guts spilled out but one thing that stands out the most is that they are not trying to get in or banging their hands on the glass.

Engineer and Richtofen looked at where the man had pointed in awe, “Dang it.” Engineer said, “I know, it’s already gotten worse for everything here in a small town called “Willamette” and I can tell…” the man growled, like he was mad at someone he knows.

“I can tell he did this! Jigsaw did this! This is another of his twisted games!” he yelled as he holds his head with his hands, everyone around looked at him confused. “Who is Jigsaw?” Richtofen’s thought said through his skull.

“This Jigsaw fellow behind this zombie outbreak, son?” Engineer said as he continued to look at doors with the dead being on the other side of it, avoiding the gazes of other people who were surprised to hear it.

“Those things have a name?” one man asked, another man who gave him a glare and then answered “Told ‘cha! Like in the George A. Romero’s zombie movies about them!”

“True.” Brad said, “But we already know killing them in the head is possible.” he continued, Nikolai nodded and said “True, comrade.”

“But still, it’s sure to block this one of all entrances here to keep them all out for sure until help arrives.” an old man added, “If we all do that; then we sure as dog on a stool we will be safe.”

He was standing beside Dempsey when he nudged him a little as he reassured others, “But hey! Best parts that we had already known about these “zombies” is that when we ran away, they’re too slow and dumb.”

“Good to know.” Miss Pauling said as she raised an eyebrow to this, the friendly old man clapped his hands together and then said, “Alright, time to seacure the mall. As long as all of you know what is going on, check every nook and cranny here for any stuff heavy enough for you can find then meet us back here. Now get!” as he clapped his hands like a referee, “Move ‘er out! Go!” before ushering them away.

Unsure with what’s happened, other that they are receiving stares from the people around them, most of them are looking at them with suspicions, some of them are looking at them like their prayers had been answered.

“Like one zombie situation after another.” Richtofen had thought to himself, looking around him and to the survivors around them. He noticed that this man he had stopped him earlier is now walking with them.

“Um… Do ve help you?” he asked, trying not to sound too weirded out by this behavior. “Going with you, not to know what is going on but to find Jigsaw.” he said like it explains everything behind his reason.

“Alright then…?” he said, “Zhen you tell us vhy you vant to help.” Richtofen soon asked the man beside him. “It’s my own reason but I want to help to make sure everyone is safe. Police had the idea that goes with the Serve and Protect mottos when I had once go by as an officer.” “Wait, you’re a cop?” Miss Pauling asked, looking at him with scared and surprised with the fear of one police officer to find out about the Gravel Wars in her world. “I am a detective,” he answered, looking at her as he walked ahead. “I’m David Tapp, I work as a detective and I am working on the case of the killer named''Jigsaw ``. You?”

“Miss Pauling,” she introduced to herself, “And these people is my team are with me.” she continued as she jesters everyone to him. “Hello” Nikolai greeted the detective but David only turned away from him to look at Richtofen with suspicion to winch Nikolai is quite familiar with.

He had his suspicions with his Richtofen, Primis version of the original for all he had done and had always doubts about plans of saving their future but this man is somewhat different, reasons behind it was something that person is truly obsessed with something or someone.

*Something like this fills you with… *Worry for David Tapp’s obsession and his sanity.

“Yet, earlier you had said that this “Jigsaw” had done this, is it true?” Nikolai questioned, making Tapp look right at him with a glare and then answered “I didn’t but if I’d find evidence that he did this then I couldn’t wait until I get my hands on him and then make him pay for all of this.”

Others began getting to work with the job of barricading as they listened to David’s story.

[Drawn by SamPostsStuff on Tumblr]

“Oookay?” Scarlett said as she listened to the conversion, David could only say to her, “You had no idea what he is capable off, he would make- no, force you to play his sick game like a puzzle or a riddle until you will “appreite” life and be “reformed” but I know that he is killing druggies and innocent people.”

Scarlett is a bit intrigued by his determination and she noticed that he had an obsession with this Jigsaw so she had decided to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t become something possibly dangerous if it had gotten to the point of insanity after not catching the killer he had explained, but they had another objective to get it done first; Barricade the mall.

“Winch one entrance should we start off first?”  Scarlett asked over her shoulder, looking for a map of the mall as U!Takeo had said while looking at one map he had found “Entrance Plaza?” making others turned and looked at him who is still looking at the map confused.

[From Dead Rising Fandom Wiki, the map from the First Dead Rising Video Game]

They looked at the map and they are both amazed and confused to see the map, except for Engineer, Pyro, Medic, Spy and Miss Pauling who knew what this map had meant and she noticed a promment that had the same map on it. With all the names of each store and everything that is useful to their advantage.

Miss Pauling looked at it for a moment as she knew this could be useful later and she did think about that Alex Mercer who had meet them earlier and would try to join them to face against whatever threat is to them, she then hurryingly stuffed it in her pouch for later.

*You had gotten the map of Willamette Shopping Mall! *It could be useful for future use. *That or just kill time in a mall like this.

Miss Pauling looked at the text below her and made a mental note to acknowledge it in the future, looking over to the entrance as well with her teammates before saying “Alright, Entrance Plaza it is. Best to work.” to everyone around her.

“Then let’s get started barricading.” U!Dempsey said as he walked over to a pile of thin-ish wood planks and picked them up. P!Richtofen and Scarlett looked at each other and then going over to the wooden beam and then them working together, picked it up with their hands, Scarlett’s being gloved and Richtofen’s bare handed, he didn’t complain since they are in the middle of another zombie outbreak but he had hoped this couldn’t be worse than the one back in Northern France.

Spy stood there, presiding as he took another drag of smoke and then said “Best to do what she said, gentlemen.” as he looked over to the Engineer and Med who nodded as the Texen picked up a few scattered wooden boards and a hammer.

Diego ad been watching them from the stairs been watching when he noticed Pyro had started up the stairs and he didn’t mind it since this is another time he had during the heist that went wrong and started an outbreak on the Titanic, the ship that had sunk into the ocean’s cold embrace of water. But he had remembered that everyone that had turned into zombies had returned to normal after they finished the trial and seeing the gateway that Shaw had identified Delphi, Greece and… He hardly remembered what happened next. He knew that he needs to try harder on remembering how they all got there.

“I wonder who that victorian girl is, she seemed familiar…” Richtofen thought as he and Scarlett made their way to the entrance, he looked at it once again and made note of it mentally if they break the glass of the door and grabbed him, he will not hesitate to fight back when needed.

They then placed it when Engineer walked over as well and with Shaw’s help, they hold the board up on one of the doors and then hammered the nails in with each hit. Diego and Medic had picked up a bench and moved it at the doors.

People of the small town of Willamette simply watched before deciding to not to stand around being victims and then be survivors like they were in a movie set or something. Then much like clockwork; they helped them barricade the entrance after their group had spent seven minutes to warm up the barricading for the townsfolk.

Feeling a bit tired, Richtofen decided to rest easy as he pressed against a pillar and then slid down as Medic and Scarlett looked over their shoulders to see this. They go over to him to see if he is alright but he relented “Don’t vorry, I’ll be alright, I’m just tired.” as they kneel down to his level.

“Are you sure?” Scarlett asked, Richtofen nodded as he looked at her. “I am sure, I zhink vith me staying up for so long fighting zhese zhings had me sleep deprived.” he continued as he rubbed his eye out of tiredness, Medic places his hand on his shoulder after he told him this and said softly “I understand, it had been tiring on our mission und being brought here. Rest easily mein friend.” with a smile, what he said softly is to make sure no one around them wasn’t able to year.

Richtofen wasn’t sure about but he nodded, he wasn’t used to sleeping like this with his bear as he watched them go off, possibly going back to barricading the entrance as he thought it that way. He felt too tired, he wanted to fight it, fight it ro stay awake before he knew that he’s losing as his eyes fluttered closed for a moment and then…

He snapped his eyes back open as he muttered “Nein! Nien… I can’t sleep now! Zhe entrance must be…” but then he looked around his surrounds as he finished “Closed off…?”

There were people here before, his teammates, the survivors, zombies… Everyone. But now, it was completely deserted, empty, like they had been erased from existence as Richtofen got back on his feet and then looked around. “Hello? Scarlett? Miss Pauling? David?” he called out as he walked around the area, the barricade is still up to winch it was a relief to him.

“Vhere is everyone?” he questioned to himself, “Edward… Please, keep yourself together, zhey must’ve gone someplace else, getting more zhings for zhe barricade.” he reassured himself as he noticed something in his eyesight.

A white rabbit with a top hat and a pocket watch, it’s eyes seemed familiar, one eye is green yet the other eye was white, it clicked in his mind that it is blind in one eye. He found himself in a staring contest with the white rabbit as it- as he looked back at him.

Then finally, he said with Stanton Shaw’s voice; “Come quickly, Eddie, we must go to her. We must not be late.” before he taps on his watch to the puzzled Doctor before turning around and then runs off as the gate opens up for him.

Richtofen then found himself running off to go after the white rabbit as he called out “Wait! Stant- I mean Rabbit! Wait!” as he ran as fast as his legs can carry him, hoping to gain some speed on him. He was surprised that the White Rabbit had been around Shaw’s height and he can run and then hopped every now and then as they run across the mall.

“Wait! Rabbit! Wait for me! Vhat do you mean by “Her”?” he yelled out after him as the White Rabbit slid on the floor and then went into another section of the mall: Paradise Plaza.

“Wait!” he called out again as he enters the plaza but he was shocked to see that the White Rabbit had disappeared, he looked around the plaza as he looked around for him but he can’t see him. “Vhere did he go…? Und vhy does he sound like Shaw?” he thought as he continued to look around. He then heard a crack and then felt a jolt from before.

He looked at his feet and his eyes widen when he saw that the floor he is standing on is breaking, another cranked and he was about to run off the breaking floor but it was too late for him to do that as the floor gave way and he fell through it with a yell.

A voice he heard was a man’s voice, it sang:

I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time.

He listened to that voice closely as he felt some comfort from it strangely as he fell down the hole, the Rabbit Hole he had fallen into.

And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind. And the girl that chase the rabbit, drank the wine and took the pill. Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels.

Wonderland, that answer to that riddle is Wonderland but Richtofen is confused yet continued to listen as he felt a cool wind wrapping around him.

To stand outside your virtue, no one can never hurt you. Or so they say…

Her name is Alice.

She crawls through the window, shaped in shadows.

Alice Alice

And even though she’s dreaming, she knows.

Richtofen was lost in the song before everything around him had gone black, he can’t see through the pitch black darkness and he couldn’t feel anything but a cool wind around him and his body.

He then see a clearing from below him as he found himself floating down gently, a cyan blue glow had revealed that he is wearing different clothing, he looked at his gloved hands and then at the trench coat as he landed on his feet softly on the sand.

[Reference sheet of P!Richtofen’s Wonderland costume “Dead Wonderer” by Meaghan “Icefir” Halter”]

“How unusual…” he spoke softly, dumbfounded, he then noticed on his side it was a holder and it meant to be a knife. “It seemed to be empty.” he said as he looked around and slowly realized…

He is under water, literally, there’s seaweed, coloral, fish and crabs anywhere and everywhere. At first, he panicked, he began swimming but then realized that he wasn’t drowning as he thought as he slowed down the pace while he breathed in water and air bubbles coming out.

“How… How is zhis possible?” He asked as he looked at his hands in disbelief, “How can I breath underwater vhen I don’t have gills as fishes do?” he questioned, he looked down at his feet as he placed his hands on his head as he breathed more in hopes of calming down his heart rate but something shiny hits his eye. He blinked and then looked at object that is reflecting the light.

There, in the rock was a knife, a Vorpal Knife wedged into it and his reflection had his attention. He wasn’t sure why but he was mesmerized by it and walked towards it with a calming pace, he walked towards the rock and then gently grabs the knife by the handle and then… Pulled it out of its place.

He examined the knife and each detail of it, his fingers had touched the blade and felt it’s smooth touch. “Vhat is zhis knife? It had a different metal from vhat I remembered.” he asked internally to himself.

“It is the Vorpal blade you had in your hands.” a voice echoed out, he turned around with the verbal knife in his right hand, ready to fight as he looked around for the voice. “Is there someone there?” he caugtion, as he kept his eyes open for anyone who will appear.

“Or something?” a voice cooed out, it sounded close in his ear and that made him jump at the voice and slashed in thin air. He looked around for the voice with his feet having a mind of their own as he walked around and then questioned “Who are you?”

“Who am I?” it answered, sounded offended, “You should know me, Edward Richtofen. You know my tricks and my stripes in stories. Ticks and fruits are often ripes for each taking.” it continued, he was surprised that the voice knew his name but left out the “Doctor” from it. “I must be losing it but…” He muttered to himself before letting out another question.

“Vhere are you?”

“Follow the grin I wore, so you will be krin to know who I am as you are sore.” the voice said softly as Richtofen clearly felt the voice is actually grinning when it spoke out a hint, hint within a riddle.

He then looked around with caution as he held tightly on the knife in his hands as he walked around in a swordsman's pace. His eyes scanned the area for anyone or anything but didn’t see who the voice belongs to but then thought about the riddle for a moment and then it clicked in his head; Find the grin.

He then continued to look around for anyone who had a grin and then noticed a wall of the cave he’s in, he realized that it had a very defying detail on it; a grin and it’s eyes opened up. Richtofen gasped at the sight in disbelief.

Then the rest of hit’s body appeared, his body in detail that is very familiar to him yet at the same time; it was unfamiliar at the same time.

It was the Cheshire Cat but vaguely resembles a Sphinx cat, with its very thin coat of fur and thin body shape. The Cheshire Cat has taken an emaciated, almost skeletal appearance; his bones can be seen through his fur-less, gray skin. His decaying starved appearance is suggestive of a cat carcass that has been rotting for years.

He has a large head and paws, a disturbingly human-like smile which is sometimes seen spattered with blood, a long neck, sharp claws, big pointed ears, and a long tail with a tuft of fur on the end. He wears a gold hoop earring in his right ear, and his skin is covered with black markings similar to tribal tattoos. His smile looks maniacal, and he appears to have under-grown yellow incisors that are covered in blood. His eyes are also green, and glow with a bright, illuminating light.

“Congrations, Edward, you had found me.” he said as he walked over to him as he looked at the cat with confusion and disbelief. “It can’t be… You can’t be real…” He uttered as Cheshire Cat stops with a constant smile. “I can be, I can not be but here, it’s either winch.” he said in a rhyme and cryptic tongue, “As much you prefer me to be but I prefer my own choices, much to an ice on a cake much as your mind would rake.” he continued as he hopped onto a broken old beam that was once a part of an old world ship.

Richtofen seemed annoyed at this but watching the cat walking as he said “If you are real, then do such things so I can confirm that I am losing mein mind.”

Cheshire Cat seemed to like the idea and then said “Persistent one, are you Richtofen?” as he stopped near a rusted flag pole before finishing “Since you had offered, I do insist.” and then walking but didn’t come out on the other side of the flagpole. He had disappeared once again, Richtofen was surprised to see this and walked over to the flagpole to see if he had used a flag to disappeared but he realized quickly that the pole is missing the flag.

Richtofen didn’t realized that Cheshire had reappeared again but this time, from behind him as he looked at him.

[Drawn traditionally by Meaghan “Icefir” Halter]

“Is this proof that you are needed, Edward?” he spoke up, making Richtofen turned around in shock, he then shook his head and then walked back to the rock where he had picked up the Verbal Knife and then placing it back in place.

“Zhis is enough, vhen I placed zhis back you will just disappear.” Richtofen said as he did this but Cheshire is still in fact there, in the full view of Edward’s, he floated upwards in the air/water and padding around him as he said “When you do that, and who are you be?”

Richtofen sneered a glare at the cat and said in a confrontal yet calm voice he can muster, “I am not insane, I am a doctor und I vill leave zhis nonsense including you behind und forget zhat zhis had happened!” as he began to walk away but Cheshire Cat stops him “Alright, be on your way then. I can not stop you but she would be disappointed that you’re not coming.” he relented that made Richtofen stopped in his tracks.

“Vho is she?” Richtofen asked under his breath, sensing the Cat is walking over to him and gone in front of him with the same grin he wore. “Alice, her name is Alice Liddel, I believe to an ace that you know her.” he answered, as he disappears and then reappears next to the Vorpal blade as he said this next.

“As for the Vorpal blade in hand,” as the knife has widge itself free from its place, then floated over to him as Richtofen turned around to see the Cheshire Cat but to see a floating knife coming towards him. He yelled out in surprise but watched at the knife had lends itself a handle for him to grab.

“It’s your and Alice’s only weapon in Londerland, a mix of London and Wonderland been put together as one. It is your only weapon to ensure your sanity, if you manage to get to her with it then you will be brought back to your realm that is reality to you. Shall you take this deal or not?” he spoke again with his paw gestures for him to take the Vorpal blade.

Richtofen was thinking about it for a moment as he spoke on his mind, “If I refuse, I will go… Gone insane as my original self but if I do….” He then cursed under his breath as he had made his choice and then grabbed the Vorpal Blade.

*You have gotten the Vorpal Blade! *The knife made from the metal that had slayed the Jabberwocky in one of Alice’s stories. *Best to hold onto it for now.

“I am now more insane than myself.” Richtofen sighed in defeat, “Now,” Cheshire Cat began with the same grin but it felt like it was satificanified, “we must go to meet her now, when and how then again I will lead the way.” he said then he hopped off and walked off, before P!Richtofen could walk off after him, he noticed something at his point of view, a small purple 4 pointed star, just flickering softly of it’s own light as it had rested on top of a treasure chest.

He wasn’t sure why but he was once again curious and then walked over to it, he was hesitant to let his hand touch it as thoughts about the star; was it a 115 star? Was the Apothicans doing this? Was Dr. Monty doing this?

His hand had neared the star when the Delta pendent glowed purple once again, he looked at it with looks of bewilderment, he lightly touched with his other hand and then turned to the star again. Then a text appeared before him, it said:

[Dead Wonderland (P!Richtofen’s Mental World)]

*First we are taken from our respective universe and now this?

*If I want to know more, I must persevere.

[Drawn by Nan14Bread on Tumblr]

[ED. RICHTOFEN  LV 45  11:52]

[Dead Wonderland - Mental Realm]

>Save           Return

Richtofen holds his hand as he looked at the text as the necklace continued to glow, he then looked at the word “Save” that is glowing yellow, he once again reaches his hand out to the text and then accidentally pressed it.

[ED. RICHTOFEN  LV 45  11:54]

[Dead Wonderland - Mental Realm]

[File saved]

[HP restored]

“Incredible…” Richtofen muttered in amazement as he saw a swirl of purple magic surrounded him and felt the same warm feeling deep down, he felt new and resurrected for a strange reason. He was thinking about it for barely a minute when Cheshire Cat reappeared once more and called out “Are you coming, Edward?”

He snapped his head up again before running over to the cat to catch up, he looked back at the star one last time before turning his attention to the pendent he’s wearing, he recognized the greek symbol due to the shape of it like this “Δ” and was confused on why he is wearing.

“I hope for your sake zhat Alice is here, isn’t she?” Richtofen said as he placed the knife in its sheath while he walked along the sandy road with Cheshire Cat walking beside him. “Eye of the storm is often to stream of voices along the path to your Otherland.”

“Otherland?” he asked, looking at him with curiosity as he tried to avoid the fish heading their way. “Mental states of mind, Edward, her ability to travel into their worlds freely whenever she pleases. With yours is quite…. Starting to say the least or the rather of it is quite lasting nightmares.” the Cat had explained as Richtofen listened to him while he looked around.

“Do you think that I had-” he was beginning to say but Cheshire had used his paw to halt him, looking alerted and said “Best to get out your weapon, we had unexpected company.” before disappearing.

Richtofen looked around as he got the knife out and readied himself for anything that can fight back, then he saw the same creatures, the Hallows but they all looked…. Different than before.

(Two types: Alpha Hallow and Omega Hallow, created by Broken yet drawn by Meaghan “Icefir” Halter)

It was as tall as a velociraptor as it nearly looked like one but with dog bones mixed, fur had covered it’s neck as it gone from its head all the way back to the tip of its tall, more cracks are all over its body, antennas are longer and almost instinct like.

He readies himself for the fight against this different type of Hallow.

[elanorjane]

A Princess in Theory [Chapter 2]

Summary:  Raised outside of her country, she’s about to find out that she’s a real-life princess. Political advisor Gold is hired to turn this princess in theory into a real royal - without falling in love with her.  

AO3 Link

“What did you just call me?” Was this, like, a role play? With her cast as the prissy princess and he the poor commoner? Of all the names she’d ever been called in bed, “princess” had never been one of them. Most guys learned everything they knew about sex from porn and liked it rough. They got off by yanking her hair and calling her every derogatory name in the lexicon. “Princess” she could roll with.

“I’m a political consultant,” he told her evenly. “I help get people elected. Or put into power, as your case may be.” His tone was completely conversational now. Like they hadn’t just spent the last ten minutes flirting and sharing the hottest kiss of her life. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time, Princess.” Was that illicit undertone back in his voice, or was she imagining it?  

If this was a made-up story, the look on his face was deadly serious. So maybe he wasn’t a sexy Daddy after all. Just a complete nutter. She was a mix of confusion and thwarted lust. But looking at him, at the promise of what she thought they could be together, she had to make sure.

“If this is some sort of role play,” she told him, laughing nervously, “you’ve really thought it through.”

He gave her a condescending look over his glass. “I don’t need to play pretend to get off, Princess.” The sexy, low burr that had made her thighs quiver had returned. She discreetly rubbed her legs together in an effort to get some relief. Of course he didn’t role play. He looked exactly like the kind of man who could enjoy a woman’s body - no matter the shape or size - for what it was and give and take pleasure as he pleased.  

He pushed another drink towards her. She was surprised to see an empty one in front of her. She hadn’t realized that at some point in their conversation she’d downed the first one.

She took a mouthful from the fresh glass. That’s what alcohol was supposed to do, right, steady your nerves? “I don’t believe you.”

“Well,” he swiveled on his bar stool to face her, “here wouldn’t be the most appropriate place to prove it.”

She made a face. Smart shit. “You know what I mean. You show up in a bar and tell me I’m a princess.” A hysterical laugh escaped her throat. Because this was a joke, obviously. One of her shit friends had put him up to it. This guy was probably homeless and that wasn’t even his suit. Then why does it fit so well? No, this was ridiculous. She should get off this bar stool and go back to the pool tables right now. One of them was probably live streaming this on Facebook while they spoke. They’d laugh their asses off at her expense for months.

“Every little girl’s dream,” he baited her back into the fantasy.  

“Not mine,” she poured cold water on this insane idea. She’d never dreamed of a knight in shining armor riding a giant steed into her life to save her. She could save herself. Her mother had taught her that. She stared at the wood grain of the bar, willing this night to go back. To rewind several hours and have this evening turn out different. To be in this strange man’s bed, forgetting the loss of her mother, not having this ridiculous talk that was making her eyes well up.  

He reached into his jacket pocket, the same one she’d been hoping had a condom or two in it mere minutes before, and tossed a small stack of papers onto the bar. When she didn’t move to pick them up, why bother drawing out this charade?, he spread them out in front of her. Instead of looking at the documents he lined up one by one in front of her, she focused on his hands. Even his fingers moved with confident, masculine control. Too soon he sat back, removing her fetishizing distraction and forcing her attention on what he’d laid out. They were photo after photo of her mother, decades younger but unmistakable. In them she was dressed in voluminous ball gowns, wearing crowns, and smiling for the photographer. Belle knew her mother to wear nothing but maxi dresses and waist length hair. In all these photos her hair was curled and pinned to the top of her head. Strangely it wasn’t her mother’s eyes or her smile that solidified her identity in Belle’s mind. It was her posture. Her mum had always had flawless posture. Shoulders pulled back, chin forward, and ankles perfectly crossed at the ankle, never the knee.

“What are these from?” She would say they were from an elaborate fancy dress party, except there were so many photos in so many different dresses. Was her mother a former model and never told her?

Instead of answering, he slide another photograph in front of her. A formal wedding portrait. Her mother was sitting on a red couch in a fluffy white grown that pooled at her feet, obviously a wedding dress. Next to her was a man in a formal jacket, blue sash, and a gold-wire aiguillette. His chest was covered in medals.

“What did your mother tell you about your father?” he probed gently.

Was he actually suggesting the man sitting next to her mother was her father? She shook her head, “Nothing and I didn’t care. We were good on our own.” And they had been. Even when her mother had cancer they’d take road trips to Uluru and to the ocean. All those great adventures that had come to an abrupt, too-soon end. She wiped away the wetness forming at the edges of her eyes with her knuckle.

He slid a newspaper clipping on top of the photographs. It announced the birth of Arabella Margaux Colette, Princess of Avonlea. There was her mother, smiling next to that same man, this time holding a newborn. Next was a birth certificate with the mother listed as Princess Colette and father Prince Maurice. She knew her mother as Colleen, not Colette, yet the evidence was in front of her. As was the birth date. All babies looked the same, but the month, day, and year of Arabella Margaux Colette’s birth matched Belle’s.

“I don’t understand,” she heard her own voice, far away. The raucous bar noise morphed into a faraway din. The text in front of her blurred. She was going from wanting to blow this guy to getting sick on his lap.

He leaned in and spoke close to her ear. “Do you want to get out of here? Take this conversation elsewhere?”  

A laugh that sounded more like a sob bubbled from her lips. Ironic he was asking her that now, but for a vastly different reason than she’d originally anticipated. She vaguely registered him scooping up all the thin little sheets that had just made her head explode, standing up, and ushering her out of her seat and through the front door. Was it a good idea to go with this man? She barely knew him, if at all. She also didn’t even know his name. Yet, not the most shady of circumstances she’d ever gone home with someone under.  

She was guided into the backseat of a town car, momentarily confused when he slid in beside her. A tall man with a shaved head, also impeccably dressed, sat in the driver’s seat.

“To the Princess’ apartment, Dove.”

Nothing else over the course of this bizarre evening had alarmed her as much as that last sentence. She sat up in her seat, ready to jump out of the car, but the bar, and her friends, were already disappearing out the back window.

“How the hell do you know where I live?”

The guy whose name she still didn’t know, and felt kind of stupid asking for now, gave her a look more pitying than rapist-murderer-y. She had her phone in her pocket, she could call the police. But despite the fact that he’d basically just kidnapped her with the assistance of a man four times her size, she still wasn’t reading threat from this guy.  

“I told you, Princess-”

She squeezed her eyes shut, fingers gripping the leather seat. “Can we, just,” her voice was loud, “drop the ‘Princess’ crap?” She was barely holding on to her sanity at the moment. If he called her ‘Princess’ one more time she was going to lose her shit.

“Very well,” he told her calmly, like she was the crazy one. “What would you prefer I call you.”

“My name,” she ground out. “Belle French.”

“Alright, Miss French,” he replied placatingly. “Considering your mother told you nothing about your origins, I can understand this comes as a great shock for you.” He sounded coldly professional now. Like she’d come into his bank asking for a loan. As if she hadn’t felt the outline of his cock through his pants ten minutes ago.  

“So even if what you say is true,” she launched in at him. “What, I’m, like, a trust fund baby now? I read the tabloids, royals lead normal lives and have jobs. They just have to show up on the Queen’s birthday and stand on a balcony and wave.” Maybe this wasn’t the crisis situation she had thought. So what if her mother was a princess? So were a lot of people’s. Her life wouldn’t have to change drastically. She could put on a floofy dress and wave using only her wrist a couple times a year if it made paying school tuition easier.

He chuckled softly. “Not quite, Miss French. What I said before was true. Your father is the King of Avonlea. He’s getting older. You are his only heir. If you don’t return to Avonlea and take the throne, Parliament will decide to whom to offer the crown, creating a political crisis.” He leaned across the backseat. “So you see, Miss French,” he made sure by his tone that she knew he thought her name was ridiculous, “it’s going to be of the utmost importance that you ‘show up’ to the Queen’s birthday party because that Queen...will be you.”  

She shook her head. “That doesn’t make sense. Why now? If I’m so important, why hasn’t my father been searching for me for years?”

He sat back in his seat. “Who says he hasn’t?”

That shut her up. The idea that she had a father out in the world. One that actually wanted her. She’d assumed her whole life he wanted nothing to do with them, so she’d wanted nothing to do with him. If this was true, the assumption she’d been operating under her entire life had just been turned on its head. She pictured the man in the fancy dress coat. He’d seemed happy enough to have her in his life in the photo announcing her birth.

Moments later Dove came to a stop in front of her walk-up. She didn’t bother looking over her shoulder, she felt the man from the bar hovering behind her up the stairs and through the door to her apartment. Once she was over the threshold, she felt like she could breathe again. She loved the bohemian apartment her and her mum had built together. It was full of mismatched furniture, tapestries, and knick-knacks they’d collected on their travels. Seashells and scarves and photos covered the tables and walls.

He was studying a collage of photos that covered the entirety of one wall. They recounting all the trips she’d taken with her mother and her friends. Beach weekends, a trip to the Great Wall of China, crashed weddings. It felt like a violation to have him here, with his unremitting judgement, in their sacred space.

She stood in the middle of the room. “So you found me, now what? Do I need a lawyer?”

“I am a lawyer,” he told her distractedly, zeroing in on the oldest photos on the wall, one of her mother holding her in the hospital. He slowly reached into his jacket pocket and extracted out a photo of his own. They matched exactly, expect his included a man - her father - who had been neatly shorn out of the image on her wall. He seemed satisfied with his discovery, so he turned back to her. “There’s a charter plane waiting at the airport ready to return you to Avonlea.” He sensed her hesitation. “Let’s not play games, Miss French. Your mother was an only child. Her parents are dead. You have no ties here. What do you have to lose?”

Everything. This apartment was the last vestige of her mother. Leaving it meant going somewhere her mum, for whatever reason, had taken her away from. If these documents were true, why had her mother left with her to Australia and never told her? Following this man felt like a betrayal of her mother, the only family she’d ever known and her best friend.

A thought occurred to her. “What if I renounce?”

He shook his head, “There’s no ‘renouncing’ your place in the line of succession. You can renounce or abdicate once you’re reigning Queen, but one problem at a time, shall we?”

“What if I don’t want to be Queen?” A hysteria hijacked her voice. He wasn’t going to take her away from her mother, no way. “No one has to know you were here. You can just go back and tell him you didn’t find me. I’ll pay you-”

What was she talking about? She didn’t have any money. Her shoulders relaxed and she morphed effortlessly into seductive Lacey, the role that made her forget her problems and got her whatever she wanted, or at least buried any disappointment if she didn’t. She hadn’t imagined it, there was something between them. She wasn’t unskilled. She could make him forget all about this Princess nonsense. “Or,” she sashayed to where he stood by the door. He didn’t lean into her, but he didn’t move away either. She smoothed one hand over the silk of his tie, starting at the top. “We could do something else instead.”

He caught her hand right before it disappeared under his jacket. Instead of being turned on, he looked angry. “Giving out sexual favors in exchange for what you want is beneath you.” She didn’t know if he meant her royal station or in general. Either way, he’d been happy enough to be on the receiving end of her ministrations earlier in the night.  

Her voice returned to its normal octave. Her eyes narrowed. Like hell if he was going to slut shame her. “Then why did you kiss me?”

“You,” he pointed at her, “kissed me,” he enunciated slowly.  

“But you didn’t stop me,” she goaded. “You knew who I was and you did it anyway.”

She didn’t miss his face reddening before he turned his back on her. Was it anger? Regret? Guilt?

“Pack a bag,” he spoke to the door, “the plane is waiting.” Well, anger was definitely in there. “Pack light. Everything at the palace will be provided for you.”

Palace. This was insane. She wasn’t actually going to get on a plane with a stranger and leave the country was she?  

She crossed her arms, jutting her hip to the side. Her mother had always told her she was stubborn. Instead of chiding her for it, like most parents would, she’d encouraged it. “I haven’t agreed to go with you.”

He turned back to face her, with a look that told her that he could see her ‘stubborn’ and raise her a ‘relentless’. “You want answers about why your mother left? About your father? There’s only one way to get them, Princess.” She flinched. “Ignoring the truth won’t make it go away. Believe me,” he added, mostly to himself.  

He wasn’t wrong. Suddenly the apartment felt so empty. Soulless. And nothing was ever going to fill it again. This room or her heart, she realized. Her mother was gone. What did she have left? By going to Avonlea she’d get to know her father, at the very least, and learn the parts of her mother that she hadn’t shared with her. This room wasn’t her mother. She felt the presence of her mum, brave and adventurous, inside her. She’d miss her friends, but she’d get the satisfaction of shocking the hell out of them next time she texted. Belle was never going to go cliff jumping off Macquarie Pass with her mum ever again. But she was going to take this one giant, final leap with her mother by her side, even if she couldn’t see her any longer.

“Alight,” she answer softly.

“It’s forever, dearie,” he warned. Not that he was giving her a choice. Just the information that once she walked out that door with him, there was no use fighting him any longer.  

She jutted her chin out and met his eyes in a way she hoped would have made her mother proud. “I will go, with you, forever.”

[doctortdesigns]

The latest collection by McCall’s is here, just in time for the start of fall sewing!  To be honest, when I first scrolled through the McCall’s release page, I wasn’t overly excited, but I think there are a few patterns worth considering once you really examine the line drawings.  Let’s take a look:

M7834 – My initial impression of this dress was “cute.”  I particularly like the proportions on view B, the short sleeved top.  However, in the interest of keeping my ever-growing pattern stash manageable, I have to question if I like the pattern better than the many shirt-dress patterns I already own, which, I think I do not.  However, I do think this could be a cute fall look, and I think the fall florals are definitely a trend we will be seeing more of this season.

M7835 – McCall’s Create It!  This is another dress pattern I find myself responding to positively, but will probably skip.  I really like the darts and neckline options, but I think this is quite similar to McCall’s 7654, which has similar features but in a more restrained proportion.

M7833 – This knit dress and tunic pattern looks like a quick sew, and it could be rather cute.  I find myself looking at the maxi as a quick, yet versatile garment that could be easily dressed up or down.  I’m sure I’ve got similar patterns but I still want to put this on the maybe list.

M7832 – I get a slight vintage 60s vibe from this dress pattern.  The 60s has never really been my favorite fashion decade, so perhaps that explains why I’m feeling a bit “meh” on this design.

M7848 – This coat, however, is definitely going on my wishlist.  I’m a sucker for coat patterns, and while I don’t think there is anything especially innovative here, I find the collar options to be incredibly practical.  Personally, I’m really wanting a coat with a hood, and I find the fur trimmed hood to be super cute.  As a matter of preference, I’d move the side pockets to the front seam, but otherwise I think this pattern looks great.  It looks especially good for a newer sewer – no buttonholes (tricky in thick fabrics), no vents, no tricky collars, no welt pockets…  Yet is is still stylish while avoiding the “bordering on bathrobe” look.  Definitely a winner in my book.

M7847 – This Learn to Sew pattern is a great way to showcase fur fabrics, but it could also be a good basic coat pattern in wool or other heavier fabrics.  I like the proportions of the collar, it’s not too fiddly for fur, but it’s also not crazy large.  It’s nice to see the Learn to Sew patterns branching out to slightly more complex garments as well.

M7846 – I’m not really interested in getting this poncho/cape pattern, but I do appreciate the collar options and design.  I think this adds a level of interest that isn’t typical of the more ubiquitous square piece of fabric with a neckhole style poncho.

M7841 – I’m still not a fan of unisex patterns, BUT I do like the front patch pocket and hood options on this sweatshirt.  Plus, it goes up to XXXL, which is actually kind of exciting because I have a few people I sew for who aren’t in the typical XS-XL size range.

M7839 – If you want a non-unisex cut, this sweater could be a nice alternative.  From the line drawing I find the dropped sleeves to be a bit large, but I find myself really liking the fit on the model wearing view E.  Clearly, I’m really into the idea of hoodies this fall.

M7840 – This voluminous shirt isn’t the sort of pattern I’m usually drawn to because it is just so voluminous.  The model in the cream shirt is just drowning in fabric. However, the plaid shirt looks really cute!  So, I’d say this could be a fun fall look in a very drapey fabric – something too stiff is just going to look like you are wearing a literal paper bag.

M7836 – This is another pattern where the line drawing isn’t doing it for me, but I really like the asymmetric one shoulder view on the model.  I like asymmetry, and I like my shoulders, what can I say?  The slit in view D looks really long, so keep that in mind if you are thinking about trying this pattern.

M7842 – I love this top from the back!  But I’m not sure how I feel about it from the front.  The overlapping fabric seems like a cool idea, but, in practice, it just looks sort of odd and bulky.  Perhaps it would have a more interesting effect if it were color blocked?

M7838 – The 1860s called and they want their sleeves back.

M7837 – I’m so over the stick a ruffle everywhere trend.  The giant laces on the side are quite the statement though.

M7831 – Learn to Sew.  I feel like these sorts of overall jumpers have been super popular with the sewing community lately.  It’s not really something I’m interested in, but, again, I like the amount of detail McCall’s has put in their “Learn to Sew” patterns – topstitching, patch pockets, overall hooks.  If this is your style, there are lots of yummy details here.

M7845 – I think this skirt is cute, but definitely too mini for me as a matter of personal taste.  The ruffle and lace details are super fun for the fall though.

M7844 – Learn to Sew.  Or, rather, learn to pleat.  So. Many. Pleats!  It does look like a fun party skirt though.

M7843 – Learn to Sew pants and skirt.  Elastic waists, while perhaps not the most sophisticated closure, are easy to sew and pretty comfortable.  These cropped flared trousers are a pretty popular style at the moment as well.

M7851 – These fashion accessory bags have some nice details, though I’d personally try to figure out how to add an external pocket.  They might be a nice introduction to bag making, or a fun project to learn how to use materials like leather.

M7830 – It’s nice that you get an entire outfit in a single pattern.  The leggings and top are the sorts of things I assume kids like to wear, but you have to admit the pink fur vest is totally where it’s at with this pattern.

M7827 – This girl’s dress and bolero is pretty cute.  I’d totally have been into the bare shoulders when I was in my Princess Jasmin phase.

M7829 – Learn to Sew.  I feel like my mother would compare this to everything she had to wear growing up, though it is perhaps a bit modernized in its fabrication.

M7827 – Baby clothes.  I’m assuming the wrap over top is quite practical for dressing a baby?

M7849 – The bunny is so cute!  I really love the classic look of these stuffed toys.

M7852 – Ok, I wanted to get the Burda unicorn onesie, but is seems that it may not be available in the US (or, at least, I couldn’t find it in stores), so I guess I’ll have to settle for the McCall’s pattern.  To be fair, this one does have patterns for unicorn wings.  Also, I may or may not now be required to make a full My Little Pony set of onesies for New Years, because that’s totally a thing.  At the very least, I’m totally going to hack this in half and make a unicorn hoodie, because that’s clearly a thing I need in my life.  Clearly.

M7853 – I get very “Mary Poppins light” vibes off of this costume.  I think this is going to be a pass for me – there isn’t enough detail here to make it exciting, and the proportions are just a bit too exaggerated for me to want to try to convert the jacket to regular clothing.

M7854 – This GoT inspired pattern is another matter entirely though.  Is it severely lacking in detail when compared to the inspiration piece?  Yes.  Am I getting it anyway?  Also yes.

M7855 – More GoT goodness.  I really like the jacket pattern from this one.

M7856 – Probably the least exciting of the GoT inspired patterns, but it’s still going in the stash.  As a side note, the coat pattern could totally be made for non-costume purposes, especially if the length was adjusted.  The seam lines would be very flattering.

M7850 – And, finally, we have the doggie wedding pattern.  Because why not.  There are a lot of things I feel like I could say, but I’ll just leave this one open ended because I’m really more curious what people are going to say in the comments.

And that’s it!  I feel like there are a lot of ok patterns in this release – nothing spectacular, but plenty of decent options.  For me, at this point, it sort of has to be spectacular (or a ridiculous unicorn onesie, which, by definition, is sort of spectacular) for me to want to buy it because my stash is so full, and I’m not getting that with a lot of the patterns here.  The zip front coat (M7848) is definitely going on the list, as are the costumes (because I’m weak), and the unicorn onesie (because I have been denied by Burda), but the majority of patterns are a pretty solid pass – not because they are bad, but because I feel like I already have similar patterns that I like better.  What do you all think?  Are you getting the Fall Feels from this collection?  Or is it a total snoozefest that’s barely a blip on the pattern release radar?  Feel free to discuss in the comments!

Fall 2018 McCall's Patterns #sewing #mccalls #mccallspatterns #fallsewing #newpatterns #fallpatterns The latest collection by McCall's is here, just in time for the start of fall sewing!  To be honest, when I first scrolled through the McCall's release page, I wasn't overly excited, but I think there are a few patterns worth considering once you really examine the line drawings. 

[kalliejupiter]

Some LEWKS from fashion illustration, or rather a fall capsule collection that I would wear myself if I were an intergalactic space provocateur (thus the inclusion of pants and a sensible heel). My partner and I debated the practicality of a drop-crotch pant I. The cockpit of a spacecraft—I and my instructor agree that the drop-crotch is totally fine, and fabulous. Besides, I’m not taking design advice from a guy who still dresses like he’s in junior high (JK, I ❤️ my partner). I tend to write long posts, and I like talking about and documenting ideation. So, I headlined each segment for easier navigation. Just some details on concepts, design process, and such. I will post more sketches, line drawings, fabric swatches, and maybe color comps later. The Assignment: Create a ten piece collection. Decide the season, demographic, include at least five different types of garments (trousers, dresses, at least one coat, etc. I also had to draw out the flats and include swatches and stuff. In the end I had to edit down from at least 20 initial sketches. Designing wearable sci-fi LEWKS comes easy to me, but self-editing does not. Take note toxic masculinity in geek culture, a girl can still be sexy in pants and a sensible heel and drawing something from the female gaze doesn’t mean a dude can’t appreciate it... I used my sensibilities as a starting point—although, in the end the collection skews a little younger than my demographic (I can get away with it as a woman of color because a WOC could be anywhere between the ages of 25 and 45 without a stranger being able to tell the difference. I’m still a little punk rock at my age, but if I had more time, I would create a companion collection that’s a little more stately and tailored for a more professional lady in my demographic (while maintaining the visual cohesion with the collection I eventually made). The instructor initially thought I was joking, because I actually submitted a market plan that said my target demographic was an intergalactic space nomad, political double-agent, listed the median income in space credits, and made several references to lasers and cyborgs. Spoiler alert, I got an ‘A’ on the final. I prefer fall to any other season, so too is my collection for fall. Fall, as a whole, has a wide range of potential garments, mostly because fall weather is so drastically varied (in spite of this, it is usually the BEST weather of any given place, IMHO). I also like fall color palettes best (as a suburban teen I spent my adolescence wearing all black, listening to Morresey, and writing really terrible poetry, like every other suburbanite teenager). Dark colors are slimming and hide a myriad of sins, accidents, and the bloodstains of your slain enemies. I wanted to include both a short and long coat/jacket, day wear, one formal piece, a jumpsuit of some kind, a mini and maxi silhouette, a work outfit, something to work as loungewear, something to work as activewear, and something that would look cool on a robot. I also wanted to strike a balance between bodycon silhouettes and easy to wear volume—which is probably why the collection ballooned into something as large as this one did—there were so many variations of single pieces that it was hard to choose which of them to include. The piece variations themselves were compelling on their own and also in comparison to its counterpart that it became more interesting to present looks as side-by-side options. Each look was multilayered, highly detailed, and designed to be physically adaptable/changeable anyway, so assigning a single croquis to a look seemed like a wasted opportunity. References and Ideation: I got the ideas for the collection from real life. One of the weird things I picked up from the military was from Basic, and it’s the idea that you are issued all of these pieces with utilitarian properties at first that encapsulates everything you’d ever need, apparel-wise (from underwear to formal wear, and for all weather and situations) and all of it can fit in a single seabag. It was fun trying to imagine what shenanigans one could experience as an intergalactic scene-girl, and what kind of clothes she might want. The concept of a sea bag (or “space bag,” in this case) jives with the idea of a capsule collection (stylish staple pieces that can be worn over many seasons with smaller, less expensive pieces that can be altered or replaced by trendier items as the seasons progress). All the pieces can be mix-and-matched and are adaptable in many ways—there is something gender neutral about a lot of it (I wish I designed the bodysuits with more variation in the briefs: make some with compression shorts, leggings, and such—I didn’t really consider these separate LEWKS, per se, but layering pieces, because some part of my underpants are always showing under my garments, and if you are going to have exposed bra straps, make it look like you did it on purpose). Also, the tailored structure and details of military clothing are really are really cool design elements to explore. I also used Middle Eastern references to balance out the designs—mostly because I thought it would be thematically appropriate/ironic to combine the two style sensibilities (non-Western cultures have so many more interesting silhouettes in any case—it might be appropriation, but in the neutral sense of the term). The concept of armor and utility informs every piece. Those concepts also the reason I referenced (or resurrected) less common clothing items and styles. For example, the quilted leather snood, a pleated leather bolero, spats over the boots, and a molded, hooded, cuirass (leather is a good material, it adapts to the wearer like a second skin and because of that, the material plays into the theme of personalizing a basic uniform to make it one’s own—90% of the swatches for the collection are organic or natural fibers because I would think the artificial environments and materials of space might make one long for something more “natural,” especially with something as intimate as the clothing that separates a persons skin from everything else. It’s also luxe and sometime more durable). Aesthetically, details like cording, high waisted pants, draped tops, high necklines, and asymmetrical hemlines reoccur as a design through line in the collection. Utilitarian features, like zippers and velcro closures, do double duty as both functional and aesthetic elements. A practical zipper on a detachable long sleeve becomes the decorative beam on the short sleeved version. Velcro tans on an exaggerated drop-crotch pant transform the garment from a maxi silhouette into short and leggings combo. I admit, this comes from my unironic love of those weird convertible bridesmaids dresses that people always end up lazily tying around their neck. Look Details (the Coverall): That’s why there is a “fashion coverall” in this collection—I know from experience that those are the comfiest work pajamas, ever, and even though this collection is supposed to exist a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I did want to reference some contemporary trends and needed a non-catsuit jumpsuit, and tailored coveralls seem very classic in a way that could be stylish beyond the current moment. I wanted to use design to solve actual practical problems. For example, instead of the traditional buttoned cuffs and collar, I chose to use a ribbed knit on both the neck and 3/4 sleeves. It is more comfortable and easy to wear, works just as well in a hot engineering space or in the colder climate controlled server spaces and Officer decks of a ship, and prevents the clothing from getting caught on equipment and becoming a liability on trouble calls or planet-side laser melee. The knees have built-in padding, and Velcro patch details, so our girl can switch allegiances fairly easily. The only thing is the lack of pockets. A cargo short is an amazing idea. In the abstract. I have never seen one in public that did not look like an Eldrich Abomination. If someone needs to Cary so much stuff in their pockets that their pants look like they are hiding the legs of Yogsheggoth, perhaps it’s time to consider carrying a bag. I’m looking at you, Dudes. Also, the belts and harnesses of the collection were designed with detachable pockets and specialized equipment in mind. I kind of wish I designed the piece with a jodhpur or cigarette leg silhouette instead of a boot cut. Both the jodhpurs and cigarette leg would have been more interesting, especially if I had also designed a short, romper version of the piece. Final Thoughts (for now...): I don’t expect anyone to have read all the way through this, and if you have, thanks! Feel free to contact me with any questions, requests, random musings, like, share and follow. I’ll try to be less wordy in the future. A Word of Thanks to the Fashion Illustration Class: I really enjoyed that class. Everyone of my classmates had different skills, experience, and came from a lot of different disciplines (for example, I make comics and work in advertising, some were animators, some fashion students, and one was an editorial photographer who didn’t draw well in the conventional sense of it, but drew croquis that had the character of a Mondiglioni and could convey not only the sense of the garments, but the personality of the girl who wore them). We talked about everything, asked a lot of good questions, and hyped each other up for fashion in general. I will say that out of the many years of studying various art disciplines in various classrooms and open critiques, this was the first time I experienced colleagues as open and giving as these classmates were. I’m used to a lot of pushback and blank stares during critiques (especially when I give them—I obviously talk a lot, and connect ideas to a lot of obscure references—“consider the jodhpurs,” “you seem really into minimal geometric patterning—write down ‘Ainu’ and look up their textiles and mouth tattoos,” “there is something very vaporwave about this non-binary collection, I see a lot of pastels and navy,” “I know exactly who the girl is that wears this collection—she converted an Arizona ranch into a minimal art gallery in the middle of nowhere, collects antiques from the late 1950’s and Kieth Harring prints, and makes excellent margheritas...”—and then they would use my suggestions by the next critique! WHAT!!?!), but people really listened and we all tried to understand each others point of view and encourage one another. I loved that class.

[project-runway-rankings]

Season 2 Episode 14- Floundering Finale

It’s no secret that I think these designers stumbled to the finish line this season.  Unfortunately, Daniel, Chloe, and Santino really didn’t step it up going into the finale and we got three fairly underwhelming collections. None of the collections A) felt like full collections or B) had any surprising wow pieces.  This made it feel like I could take any look from one collection and throw it into the other and it would fit in.  Everything was just “fine”.

3. Daniel V.

Oof what a disappointment this was.  Daniel seemed to be the preordained winner of the season, but this collection was just a conglomerate of mall wear with a few “fancy dresses” with ugly appliques. There were certain flashes of brilliance, but he had too many starting points and never really went anywhere with any of them. It was such a shame to see Daniel fall so hard, but guess what?  We all done known this!!! He wasn’t that great on the season and this collection showed that.

Serving you Blanche Deveroux realness.  Tacky floral? Check.  Shoulder pads? Check.  Fit and flair? Check.  Congratulations you’ve made your first grandma jacket!  

The skirt is nothing.

The boring daughter of the woman in the first look.  I can get that top at J.Crew, Gap, Macy’s, literally any department store.  There is no design here.

This is a cute coat, and had he run in this direction I think he could have eeked out the win because the judges really loved him.  The collar is wonderful and it is impeccably made.  the silhouette is gorgeous, too.

And we’re back to mall wear.  The only part that is remotely designed are the shoulder straps.  Yawn.

I agree with Michael Kors, I want to rip that thing off of her chest.  The pleating on the bottom is cute but still boring.

Had this shirt been a mini dress I would have loved it, but it isnt.  The top is cute, but once again the skirt is nothing.  I also hate the two together, especially with the boots.

Where did this come from?  It has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of his collection.  Had this been in the same cool tones I would have given it a pass, but changing the pallet and design details is too much.  I actually really like the pants but, as we know, I hate the under boob scoop.

Oh look! He took my advice and made his shirt and skirt a mini dress for his thirteenth look.  This is cute and totally in line with the best pieces in his collection.  It isn’t shown here but I love the cowl neck back to these pieces.  I would have switched this piece and the previous piece in his lineup for a smoother transition.

I want to like this but I just can’t.  Each piece individually is cute but all together it gets a bit costume, like someone on a Disney show.  Had he gotten rid of the purple sweater, which is a nothing piece already, it would have been much more successful.  But again with the damn chest patch.

There were strokes of greatness in this collection. I absolutely love this top, it is so soft and delicate, the best parts of Daniel’s designs.  The pants are wonky but at least there is design there.

J. Crew Outlet

I like it but once again it does not fit with his collection.  No where else has he played with transparent volume or monotone multi-piece looks.  I like that he played with volume and top and on bottom, but was able to balance it out by keeping it body con in the middle.

This dress is horrendous from beginning to end and not what I would want to leave in the mind of the public and the judges. The patch needs to go, but past that there are many more issues.  The color is so blah and the two browns do not mesh well.  All of the detail in the back looks very western, like cowboy boot or saloon door details.  Mess all around.

2. Santino

Santino created a lot of beautiful dresses for his finale collection, but he showed very little range.  It was quite boring and after a while and a lot of the pieces began to blend together.  That being said, there were no truly bad pieces in his collection but it didn’t feel like a full runway show to me.

This is a gorgeous gown but it doesn’t give me the oomph I need from an opener.  The proportions are great and make the model look super tall and I love the fabrics he chose. It’s just a bit safe.

This is cute and fun.  I love the leather pants, they add an edge to an extremely saccharine look.  The top is cute as well, I just wanted some more oomph again.

Everyone on Project Runway has created this dress, and it’s normally in a quick or unconventional challenge.  I don’t need this in a 13 piece collection.  Love the color though.  Why this was in the middle of his maroon and pink looks I will never know.

Yawn.  At least the blue dress was made well. What is up with the hem.  

It’s a beautiful slip dress with a wonky back.

For the 13th look it was more designed than any of the previous 3 looks.  Still, it needs even more.  Maybe if the lace was in a different tone than the dress?

This one I love. The jumpsuit is nice but the star here is the cape.  It falls beautifully around her shoulders and arms and scoops around her neck wonderfully.  The only problem is that this should be a low point in a collection in terms of amount of design, not a high.

She’s a majorette. The dress is ok but that jacket is hideous.  The horizontal lines are cutting her off at too many places.I

I love the sudden pop of super saturation.  It’s the same cut on top as many of his other dresses but I enjoy the mix of fabrics.  I wish he had continued that into the skirt.

And then this comes out of nowhere in the collection.  I kind of enjoy it just because I was so bored by everything else.  I don’t think he used the right fabric for the skirt or sleeves, it has too much structure for what he wanted.  I would have loved to see more of this leather work in his collection, but overall it’s a bit too Ren Fair.

I. Love. This. Fabric.  He only used it in 2 pieces but I would have loved it in about 5 or 6.  And he knows how to work with it.  The way it flows around her body and drapes down is amazing. The pleating is amazing. I need Santino to stay in this lane because this is where his strength lies.

His blue dress but in puce.  I like the lines of the trim though and it seems much better executed.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes.  He should have opened with this look and gone from there because this is by far the best look in the collection.  The extra drape in the front is such a beautiful and understated edition.  I just love it, possibly the best look of all 3 collections.

1. Chloe

Chloe deserved to win just because of the lack of imagination of Daniel and Santino.  Still, it isn’t the best collection in the history of the show.  

She had the best opener of any of the finalists.  It is fun, cool, and most importantly, interesting. It’s a new take on a classic coat dress.

I haaaaate this print.  I have never been a fan of dark green and pink and the floral looks dated, even for 2005. The actual dress is cute and a lot of girls would rock that silhouette.

The same ugly fabric but in a much more boring silhouette.

I’ve been on the fence about this dress, but I’m coming down on the side of quite liking it.  The pleating on the bottom are something I’ve never seen before and I like the folding detailing of the shoulder.  The fabric and sleeve length make it a bit grandma but overall its a success.

This is cute. The fabric could have easily gone grandam but the cuts make it young and fresh.  The dress is cute but the shrug is amazing.  The way the two pieces make a cutout in the back is sublime.  She did a great job with volume in this collection.

This look I don’t like as much.  It’s a little too stiff and stuffy and doesn’t match the easier fun attitude of the previous looks.  The tuxedo stripe is problematic, she tried to be different by angling it to the pockets but it doesn’t work.

The same boring dress Santino made twice.  The fabric is way too thick and stiff, it looks like maternity wear.  You can tell this was her 13th look.

From the waist up I like it, a chic little cocktail dress.  The color is also extremely rich.  The fit and flair leaves a bit to be desired just because I’ve seen it so much.  I wish should have taken the pleating from her 4th look and added it to more pieces, maybe this one.

In my opinion, the printed pieces in her collection were the least successful.  The lace up top looks costumey and the shirt hits the model and an odd length, accentuating her hips.  

Upon closer inspection it may not be a print but a lace overlay an odd choice considering the abundance of solids and lack of lace in the rest of her collection.

I have no clue where anyone would wear this dress.  The front is too stuffy for a cocktail party but the back is completely inappropriate for the workplace.  I love the power of the cobalt blue though, she looks powerful.  The seams on the front make her look extremely tall and lean.

I am really not responding well to the print’s that she chose.  This looks like random islands or a deconstructed globe.  Aside from that it is the same basic empire waist dress I’ve been harping on, but this time in a maxi.

I don’t mind the print as much here because a lot of the focus is on the gorgeous cobalt blue.  The sleeves and back make this dress.  The rest is a bit underwhelming.

This is a strong second to last dress, but I would never use it as a closer.  This shows a restrained and edited design eye but doesn’t scream “this is who I am as a designer”.  I really have no issues with the actual dress, and the back is fantastic.

A well deserved win for Chloe, even if it was by default.

[geniuscloud]

Bad Liar- Chapter Four (JB GOT7)

Here is the long awaited chapter four! This series won’t be extremely long, but decently lengthed!

Genre: Fluff, Angst, and a little suggestive.

Jaebum/JB (GOT7) X Original Character

Collage/University AU

Warnings: Swearing. May cause slight heart break, and rage towards characters.

May contain: Brief mentions of BTS members.

“Uh, hey…” JB said awkwardly pulling away from Amie quickly.

“Um, sorry I didn’t mean to intrude. I was, uh… Sorry.”

“No-no it’s okay we were just, you know… It’s okay,” Amie stammered out looking at the floor as she brushed past me to get inside.

Suddenly I was left out in the hallway, mildly embarrassed, with JB. His hands were now buried in his pockets, lighting kicking the ground as he too, had his face to the ground.

“I really didn’t mean to walk in like that. It wasn’t my intention to disrupt you two, I was just going to give Jimin his headphones.”

“Oh yeah, how was your date?”

“It was good.”

“Just good?”

“I mean, not too much happened. It was a pretty normal date.”

“Are you going to keep seeing him? Like, are you going on a second date?” JB asked, smoothing a fly away strand from his face, slicking it back with the rest of his hair.

“Yeah, probably.”

“Anyways, I should probably get going. Have a good night okay? We should hang out soon, just the two of us. Are you free on Friday?.”

“I’ll check my schedule. Get home safe, okay?”

“Aren’t I always?” He winked, walking back to the staircase.

I rolled my eyes, smirking to myself before walking back into the dorm room. I saw a flushed Amie, sitting on the couch while scrolling through her phone. “So, you and JB… Are you guys an item?”

“Huh? An item. No, I don’t really do boyfriends. You know?”

“What?”

“I just don’t think I’m ready to be tied down quite yet.”

“Oh? Well, does JB know? Despite the bad boy look with the leather jacket, and the piercings, he’s really loyal… He likes having one girl to spoil.”

“Really? He’s so hot that he looks intimidating. I would never suspect that he could be a big softie.”

“The only thing intimidating about him is his temper. Seriously, watch out for the clench jaw. That means he’s pissed. Give him a pillow, walk away, and leave him for 5 minutes. He’ll beat the crap out of the pillow, and then he should be good,” I warned, grabbing some food from the fridge.

“Oh really? Hmm, maybe I should snap him up while I have the chance then. It’ll be my first real relationship.”

“Seriously? You’re like 23.”

“Hey, I said I’ve never really been the committed type” she grinned, shrugging her shoulders.

“Wow who hurt you…?” I laughed walking back to my room.

I closed the door behind me and flopped face first onto my bed. With a loud groan I started rocking my body side to side in frustration. I hate that I keep inserting myself into awkward situations. I decided to make the best of my situation by just taking the time to be alone. I grabbed some cookie dough ice cream from the freezer, ran a hot bath, and “read a book.” By reading a book, I mean I opened it, put it back down, and then basically took a nap in the tub.

“Hey Micah!”

“Yeah?!” I yelled through the door.

“Do you want to go shopping with me tomorrow?”

“Sure! What time?”

“Just after your class!” Amie called back.

“Okay, I’ll meet you by the main bus terminal.”

“Cool, good night! Don’t take too long, you’ll turn into a prune.”

It’ll be nice to spend some girl time together, since we haven’t gotten to do much since we moved in together.

I waited by the bus terminal, hands in my pockets. The air was a little chilly today so I decided to wear a comfy sweater-dress. I was excited to go shopping with Amie today, because taking a look at my closet… 50 Shades of Grey wasn’t an erotic novel, it was my closet. Every shade of grey, black, and white, as well as the occasional olive/army green could be found there. Amie often wore cute pastel clothes, or just some kind of color. I hardly ever saw her wear black or grey.

“Micah! Are you ready to go?!” A voice yelled.

“Yup! If we take the 181 we’ll be there in about 20 minutes.”

“Forget the bus, JB’s driving us. I called him last night and asked if he would take me to the mall but he said he didn’t like shopping, but that he’d still drive me anyways.”

“Oh.”

“He’s waiting for us by the south campus entrance, let’s go,” Amie said tugging on my hand.

Now I was in the backseat of JB’s car, feeling like the third wheel. Amie interlocked her hand with one of JB’s while he drove with the other. “It’s a safety hazard, you idiots” I thought to myself. Though I know saying that out loud would make me sound like a jealous bastard, even though I was soaking in self-pity. Oh, what I would do to hurl myself out of this car right now.

“Hey, hey Micah! Are you listening?” Amie asked, peeking her head back at me.

“Huh? Sorry. I was just thinking.”

“That’s okay. Anyways, I was thinking what if I helped you pick an outfit for your next fancy date with Jimin?”

“Oh, you don’t… You don’t have to do that. I don’t think we’re going on a fancy date soon anyways. I mean, we’re both university students.”

“I want to pick you out an outfit. It’ll be a thank you gift since you had to lease out the dorm by yourself since I didn’t have my registration completed. It’s a big deal having to put down the entire deposit by yourself” Amie smiled.

“Okay, fine. You lead the way” I sighed getting out of the car. Amie instantly linked arms between JB and myself, leading the three of us inside.

“I didn’t know I was coming inside too” JB replied.

“You’ll be our bag boy for the day. Right? Won’t you do that for your new girlfriend?” She pouted.

“Fine baby, I’ll do it” he smirked before kissing her cheek. I looked away and rolled my eyes so hard, I could have probably seen my brain if I tried hard enough. The first store we went into Amie was instantly pulling things off the racks. If there was one thing you needed to know about Amie was that if shopping was an Olympic sport, she’d take home the gold metal every time. She could shop, sow, and DIY herself into the next life time. Most of her clothes had some kind of vintage feel to them, and some kind of alteration.

“Why don’t you look for something?” JB asked.

“I don’t really have the money for anything. I just wanted to spend some girl time with her but…”

“But I’m here, and it’s ruining the mood, right?”

“A little. It’s okay though. You’re her boyfriend after all…”

“Hey, I’m still your best friend. I hate that you’ve been acting a little awkward with me recently. Are you okay?”

I wanted to say ‘No, it feels weird having my ex-boyfriend/best friend dating my friend/roommate. I hate that I still have a little bit of feelings for you when it’s obvious that you’ve moved on.’ “Yeah, I’m fine. Just, now that I’m dating Jimin, I feel a little guilty hanging out with you. Since you’re my ex after all. Most guys would be pissed if they found out they are still hanging around their ex’s. It’s not really normal.”

“Oh, okay. Well we both moved on, so I don’t see how it’s a problem. I respect you staying loyal to him though.”

“Yeah…”

“Micah, you have to try these on right now.” Amie squealed while thrusting a bunch of hangers at me. I saw dress, after dress, in every color of the rainbow. Purple maxi dresses, pink satin dresses, and even blue velvet ones as well.

“Come on out!”

“Yeah, one second. Can you help me with the zipper?” I opened the door slightly while Amie stuck her hands in the change room to assist me. With the same hand, she tugged on my wrist to pull me out of the stall and into the walk way where JB was sitting on the couch surrounded by her bags.

“Well? Isn’t it perfect?!” Amie said stepping back, while drawing JB’s attention to me. His mouth went agape, and locked his eyes on my torso.

“It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed looking into the mirror.

“Can I pick a dress or what?! It’s red-wine colored, which means dark, and it’s suitable for evening outs. It has long sleeves which makes it modest and elegant; plus, the sleeves compensate for the shorter skater skirt. The lacey material also adds both sex appeal and class, and finally it has an easy glide back zipper, which means it’s easy to take off… If you know what I mean” she winked. I started blushing at her last comment a little; staring at my bare feet against the wooden floor.

“What do you think JB, from a guy’s perspective?” Amie asked.

“I think you take too much time thinking about the meaning of clothes.” Amie smacked his shoulder, while he laughed it off.

“Seriously though, you look good.”

“Perfect, you should get it!”

“You know, I work hard. I deserve to treat myself a little bit! I am going to get it, even though it’s… Oh my God, $120?! FOR THIS LITTLE AMOUNT OF CLOTHING? I HAVE SWEATERS WHICH COSTED LESS THAN HALF THE PRICE AND COVER MORE OF ME!”

“You’re such a stingy girl. Just buy the damn dress, and then we’ll get you some shoes to go with it. If you want, I’ll buy you the shoes. You should buy the dress, it looks really good on you” Amie suggested.

“No, you don’t need to buy me anything. This isn’t 'Pretty Woman’ and I don’t need your money.”

“Stop being a shit and let me buy you some damn shoes. I saw some really cute black strappy wedges that would look so cute with almost any outfit! You’re a size 8, right? I’ll be right back, okay?”

I just waved her away before going back into the changing room and getting back into my normal clothes. “Oh, you’re still here? Why didn’t you go with your girlfriend?”

“Too many bags, I don’t feel like walking, so I thought I’d wait for you instead” JB shrugged as I purchased the dress.

“Why don’t we go put her bags in the car? Here I’ll help you,” I said while grabbing a few bags. “So, how have the guys been?”

“They’re doing alright. They miss you a lot. You should stop by and hang out with the rest of us like old times.”

“Meh, I doubt that they even miss me. They just miss me walking around in booty shorts around them.”

“Oh, just shut up, and in the defense of those booty shorts… I never let you walk around in those things around the guys.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about jealous and overprotective JB. Haven’t seen him in a while, next time he’s around, tell him I say hello.”

“Hey! You know how I feel about girlfriends. I don’t want anyone trying to make a move, being disrespectful, or even having a single unclean thought about someone I love. My girlfriend, means that she’s mine. I’m not sharing with anybody!”

“Hey, haven’t seen you in a while Jelly-bum, how’ve you been doing all this time?” I laughed.

“Shut up. I’m trying to be less temperamental, be nice,” JB pouted while putting the bags in the trunk.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Come on, let’s just get back inside.” I spun around on my heels, walking faster towards the shopping mall.

“Hurry up slowpoke! We got some more bag carrying to do!” Jaebum yelled while running after me, grabbing onto my waist, spinning me around a little before taking off ahead of me. I couldn’t help but dizzily laugh and start sprinting after him. With all the power I lack in my legs, I sprung up onto his back, and forced a piggyback. “Oh my God, it’s like deadweight on me!”

“Hurry up my noble steed! For we must partake in the act of "shopping” once again!“

"I was going to go along with this, until you said that…”

“Go fuck yourself, my noble steed!”

JB finally put me down once we got through the parking lot to be greeted by a half smiling Amie. “Sorry, we went to go put your bags in the car.”

“Yeah, I saw, I walked outside and saw you guys by the car. I just had to use the washroom so I went back inside.”

“Oh okay.”

“Oh uh, by the way. The store didn’t have your shoes in your size at the moment. Sorry, maybe next time, okay?” Amie said, stroking my arm lightly.I’m not sure how someone petting your arm could be condecending, but that’s how it felt.

“That’s totally fine!”

“Um, I don’t mean to be a total ass but would you mind if JB and I spent some time together alone?”

“Don’t worry, that’s okay. I understand, I can just bus home. I’m just going to go look around a little bit before. I’ll see you later?” I asked.

“I can just drive her home quickly before, it’s a little rude to just ditch her like this when you invited her out in the first place” Jaebum added.

“No, it’s okay. You guys go and do your couple things. I’ll see you guys later.”

Amie smiled at me, and took JB’s arm, leading him away from the entrance and towards the chain of restaurants. I’m not going to lie, I felt a little shitty getting ditched like this, but I understand at the same time. She just wants to be with her boyfriend. Rather than feeling shitty, I decided to just go into the shoe store and look around for some heels on my own.

“Hello, how are you doing today?” The sales clerk said.

“I’m doing fine, how are you?”

“Doing just lovely, what brings you in today?”

“I’m looking for some heels to go with this dress I just bought, but also with other outfits too.”

“So black is probably your best bet. What kind of heel do you prefer and what size?”

“Any one that is easy to walk in. I’m clumsy. I usually go for wedges, and size 8” I admitted.

“I have the cutest pair of black strappy wedges! You’re also, very lucky. We sold the last pair in that size to a young blonde girl a few minutes ago, and she came back about 2 minutes later looking angry and returned them. They are perfectly fine, she basically walked out of the mall and came back in and decided she "wasn’t feeling” the shoes anymore. As long as you don’t mind someone owning them for like 2 minutes, you can purchase them. She didn’t even try them on.“

"Was the girl who bought the shoes wearing a pastel pink dress by the way?”

“Yes, she also had a cute leather purse, which I adore! is she a friend of yours?”

“Yeah… She is.”

Wait, why did Amie lie to me? Was she angry that JB and I went to the car without telling her?

[statemant]

AN ODE TO GEORGIA - VETEMENTS SS 2019

JULY 1, TBILISI, 7:11 PM – I’m sitting in my kitchen with two of my friends and sipping final gulps of homemade iced coffee to bite with incredibly hot weather  outside and scrolling my Instagram.

I know that VETEMENTS show is about to start, almost everyone who I follow has live tuned on and the show starts. The quality of the live stream was not perfect but I could spot long narrow table, where models started walking and guests were “served” with the latest VETEMENTS outfits while sitting around it. With each new VETEMETNS show announcement, I always think what’s gonna be the next offering from Gvasalia brother, since we all know how they’ve revolutionized and “disrupted” the industry and their unusual runways is one of the biggest part of the brands’ entire aesthetic. It was the same here, I was intrigued to see just for the sake of interest. When first three looks appeared, music started and models were walking with usual VETEMENTES-que “rush”, I thought, well, ok. But then I’ve screamed, shouted (my friends looking scared at me) and had goosebumps all over, since fourth look featured a hoodie saying “ტანსაცმელი”, which means “clothes” (or “VETEMENTS”) in Georgian! None the less! Then another one saying “გაზაფხული/ზაფხული” (that translates as “Spring/Summer”), then “უფალო შეგვიწყალენ” (meaning “god bless us”) and finally the Georgian flag printed anorak jacket..

I wanted to cry, for various reasons:

First – finally, it was the collection I was waiting since the appearance of VETEMENTS in fashion scene and I was absolutely sure it would happen once! Second - it felt so emotional to see someone pay tribute for my (and his) native country. And the 3rd that I’m an asshole and did not stay for few more days to attend such a historical and monumental show! Cause I was in Paris days before the show but could not stay for additional 3 days (I could manage to attend the show), because I spent all my money at shopping (mostly on VETEMENTS actually!) and did not spare more for 10 minute event, which I regret now VERY VERY VERY much!

It might be hard for someone, non-Georgian, to share same excitement as I have for this particular collection, but it’s definitely a moment which made even most non-fashion-related Georgians interested and very proud. It quickly became a major news for local tv and online media. As more facts became clear, it felt even more special for all of us – appears majority of the models were just regular Georgian boys and girls, selected by VETEMENTS casting directors right here, in the streets of Tbilisi. Collection featured some fresh “ugly” sneakers, signature dad shoes and combat boots, 

various tailored pieces (my favorite VETEMENTS category), 

some white hand-painted “graduation” shirts  (which were actually painted in Tbilisi by locals, in various night clubs), 

opening model wore a nude shirt covered with the types of tattoos Georgian prisoners would get to flaunt their mob ties, 

there was a signature Alpha Industries bomber with a message -  “We dance together, we fight together” -  dedicated to the police raids held few weeks before the show in most famous local night clubs here “BASSIANI” and “CAFE GALLERY” and a massive two-day rave at the center of the city with the same slogan as above. 

Leather jackets and suits were finished with zip up hoodies, masks, covering the faces of the models (as a symbol of unknown or no identities), 

target prints symbolized the bullets that were once aimed at Georgia. 

Georgian flag was seen in various colorways, including one in a rainbow - more or less provocative for local standards. 

Besides the floral dresses (already a strong brand signature), we have seen a fabulous wedding gown at the finale of the show (worn with some classic white pumps, while some other variations featured a upside down Eiffel tower as heel) 

and one off special maxi skirt, painted by Demna himself, and will retail for around 15 000 EUR (pictured below).

Finale of the show has brought highest emotions: it featured modernized version of Georgian national dance music and with all the Georgian models walking on this imaginary “wedding table” wearing Georgian alphabet features on that music, in Paris, on the center of fashion’s most important players, was just…terrific!

WATCH THE FULL SHOW 

In a post-show interviews, VETEMETNS creative director Demna Gvasalia said:  “I went back to my past in Georgia to face my fears and painful moments…like post Civil war and everything there in the ’90s, and I made the most personal kind of fashion proposition out of that. My house was bombed and it was destroyed. My grandmother, for one week, she didn’t have memory. These are all the things that influenced me, experiencing that when I was a child. I feel everybody today talks about war, refugees (and the show was held on 19th Arrondisement of Paris, which is now surrounded by refugees). And I am like, yes, I know exactly what that means. It's weird. This is about my life, but also it's about everything you see on CNN, as well," said the designer.

Here’s what’s behind the story: Sukhumi (Demna’s and his family’s hometown, capital of Abkhazia region, now occupied by Russia, for more than 25 years) was one of the epicenters of the Georgian Civil War at the beginning of 90’s. A strong ethnical conflicts have resulted into 30,000 killed humans and around 250 000 refugees – including Gvasalia and his family (here’s full story behind the Civil War). Also, here you can listen an exclusive rare radio interview with Demna via Radio Tavisupleba.  

For me (and my entire nation), as a Georgian (even if I was just 1 or 2 years old during that Civil war), it’s very important to spread the message to the world what was our past and how we have come to the present times, what my parents and grandparents generation had to overcome to make Georgia a safe place to live. Demna has went through his entire youth traumas and came out with the most sensational VETEMENTS collection to date.

Besides all the Georgia-inspired pieces (which were mostly VETEMENTS classic fits, hoodies, oversized silhouettes and deconstructed denim) there were Russian, Ukrainian, Turkish (also a homage to Demna’s mother heritage) and US flag anoraks featured. These are countries that mostly influenced and affected Georgia (and Demna himself in various aspects) over the years, especially after 90s’ post-soviet era. Featuring Russian flag has actually generated mixed emotions between locals in Georgia (as I mentioned it became a major discussion topic in social media for a few days) with some mentioning that it kinda ruined entire thing and putting a huge flag of the country who has 20% of Georgia occupied (and continues to grow this share) was unnecessary and it at least should feature some protest slogans. I think (and majority) it actually felt absolutely right and genius to put a Russian flag on this specific collection, since if you want to tell us about the history of Georgia, it’s just impossible to miss Russian Federation and all its activities against us.

As for the cast, those 40 people, that Demna and VETEMENTS guys brought from Georgia, he said: “They represent for me what I represented when I came to Europe years ago - that certain naivety and voice they don’t think they have in their country”. I’ve asked some of the guys after they got back to Tbilisi (cause they are all friends of friends), what did they feel about the entire thing, some of them had just same feelings as me, some mentioned that they still didn’t filter in their mind how and what happened to them, since for majority it was not only first runway show ever, but first touch to the fashion industry, overall. But all of them were proud that they now became kinda part of the history.

It was a 10th collection of VETEMENTS, it will be hard to name brands that gained such an incredible success in such a short time and had influenced not only young but many of the well-established labels. Demna is a so-called “Margiela kid” himself (and that sensational Margiela exhibition at Palais Galliera in Paris is a proof of that) and he even mentioned how he got back to his design roots with its previous collection, entitled “The Elephant in the Room” (FALL-WINTER 2018, see here) where he has fully exploded what he does the best (some of the buyers and editors mentioned with me that label was kind of “back on track” with that collection, after not so-satisfying SS 2018, which was just re-edition collection, see my visit to the presentation here). And this latest “Georgia” collection was a continuation of his growing personal approach to the clothes: “It’s a very different way of working for me because I always did shows that were just about clothes…nothing else really mattered for me. But I think I’ve changed and probably my approach to fashion also changed. My interests changed. I realized that I need some storytelling next to making just clothes. Last season, it was going back to understand my creative roots. That’s why there was an elephant in the room, the whole Margiela, questioning creativity. This season I went back to my actual roots, which is this country that is troubled and that really shaped me creatively and also who I am.” – Demna said.

As VETEMENTS CEO Guram Gvasalia mentioned, they have sold more of this collection than any other recent ones (and even Demna told that once he made his personal order of the collection, he found it was biggest to date), which is very interesting for me, since it means that spreading the message (and not just selling a garment) is a cruicial part. Me and my natives have already been shocked or made fun of fashionistas from around the world wearing our grandparent’s wardrobe inspired clothes (that can be also found at second hand markets for 500 times cheaper than VETEMENTS), oversized outwear (that our parents were buying in bigger sizes, on purpose, to last for few years, while we would grow in height and weight) and table cloth print shoes, but I actually can not wait to see entire world wearing this particular collection pieces and I’m sure I can read a lot in Georgian during my next fashion week visits on everyone’s chests or shoulders.

One more note (just in case), I have met Guram year ago in Paris during their SS 2018 presentation and mentioned how popular they were in Georgia (I mean, they are! They have crazy fan pages and dedicated TV shows). Demna must be one of the most famous Georgians ever (on the international scale) and the fact of him not being heterosexual (and Georgia is known for its homophobic issues) does not affect the pride that most of the locals have (because of him)! After the latest show, I’m sure their fandom will double and the respect will move to another level, cause he is the man who could manage to tell the history of the country to the world, just in 10 minutes, without even a single word!  Below, you can see the guy wearing custom-made cap, outside VETEMENTS SS 18 show, campaigning for Gvasalia as President and I think it never made more sense than it does now, after the show. And btw, that guy is actually ME!

And here’s me again, with my version of VETEMENTS definition, that I made 2 years before the show to show everyone the native heritage of the brand and “translate” the word for them, during the fashion week. 

[zrtranscripts]

Season 6, Mission 7: Lessons in Love

Revenge of the Nerds

MAXINE MYERS: Wait, wait. So and Nadia's gone to work with Amelia because Amelia's taken over New Canton?

SAM YAO: Not so much taken over as, um... well, yeah. Taken over. But it's not like she's running things for them. She's got them mostly running things for her. She's just very... you know. Decisive.

PAULA COHEN: People do like a decisive leader. And I suppose they can't do much worse than they were before. Any word on the location of the babies?

SAM YAO: Mm, no. We're working on it. Even the Laundry can't find anything for us. You see, ideally, we need someone inside Sigrid's inner circle, but well, that's going to be hard to arrange. In the meantime, getting parts for this transmitter of Jody's is a good start.

MAXINE MYERS: So that's what we're heading to this comms station for. We've caught snatches of their transmissions. We know they are bound to have the cables that Jody needs. I, for one, am glad to be serving Abel.

PAULA COHEN: It didn't need to be us, though, did it? Tom was going to go, and you insisted we went instead. Five, has Maxine told you the real reason she wanted to go on this mission?

MAXINE MYERS: For Abel?

PAULA COHEN: It's because she hasn't been able to find any copies of Xena: Warrior Princess since the apocalypse, and that just happens to be what this place is broadcasting.

MAXINE MYERS: That's just a coincidence! Back me up, Sam.

SAM YAO: Oh whoa-ho-ho, no. No, no, no. You two can leave me out of this. Remember our co-parenting contract?

MAXINE MYERS: I don't think that really applies...

SAM YAO: Oh yes, it does. I can read you the exact clause. When we agreed to be co-parents, I got it from both of you, in writing, that I would never, ever be asked to adjudicate in a row.

PAULA COHEN: Fine. Five, listen to this: Max volunteered us for a mission, on date night - a date night where I was planning to make latkes - because she has a crush on Xena flipping Warrior whatever.

MAXINE MYERS: You've never seen Xena: Warrior Princess! [laugh] Right, we need to make that right immediately.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Guys, before you get Xena: Warrior Princess, you're going to have to make it through that playground full of child zombies. I think they must have been trapped in the school until the storm the other day.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh God! The kids are the worst! Run!

SAM YAO: Okay, I think you lost them. Hey, it's weird, though. That school playground's been safe for months. I've got the report here. We sent in runners to check it clear, room by room, last month.

PAULA COHEN: You think it could be a deliberate deployment, then? By the comms station?

SAM YAO: Mm, maybe. I mean, it's a bit weird for a comms station, to be honest. Not only are they broadcasting Xena, their building used to be a distribution center for Geek King. You know, you know, the online retailer.

MAXINE MYERS: Yep. Which is why they have access to Xena DVDs.

PAULA COHEN: I'm surprised it hasn't been cleared out before now. People always want DVDs and stuff.

SAM YAO: [imitates Boromir from the Lord of the Rings] "Ah, but one does not simply get DVDs during a zombie apocalypse."

MAXINE MYERS: There's a dumbass rumor that this warehouse is full of kind of extreme nerds. Dangerous. Murdery.

SAM YAO: The Winchers. Like, imagine nerds, but if they went feral. Took cosplays too far, reenacted all the goriest parts of the stuff they're into. The rumor is they used to be 4chan "alpha male" believers, and then the zombie apocalypse came, and they blamed the feminazis, and - [sighs] they just went down that rabbit hole and just kept on going.

MAXINE MYERS: They're broadcasting Xena. No one who broadcasts Xena could be an evil man.

SAM YAO: What, even if they're setting zombie traps around their perimeter?

MAXINE MYERS: Well, we don't know that was them. We'll probably find some people holed up in there, sending out Xena clips to make contact with other fans. We'll get the cables and come back later with everyone's orders for specific Blake's 7 episodes and plastic lightsabers. [laughs] It's going to be great. Come on!

[door creaks open and clangs shut]

SAM YAO: Are you in?

MAXINE MYERS: We're in. This place is huge! And... kind of spooky.

[zombie moans]

PAULA COHEN: Uh oh. Not all the warehouse pickers are gone. Some of them have turned zombie. Look, they're still at work trying to fill internet orders. See that one stacking Game of Thrones box sets?

SAM YAO: Ooh, ooh! Do they have the last season? Because I never -

MAXINE MYERS: No, Sam. We're just here for Xena. I mean, Xena and those cables. Anyway, we've got to move fast. I think that one of them spotted us.

MAXINE MYERS: Quick, into this storeroom.

[door creaks open and snaps shut]

PAULA COHEN: Wait, this is the transmission room. See? There's the broadcasting equipment.

MAXINE MYERS: Yes. These are the cables, and - !

PAULA COHEN: Oh, the DVDs. Xena: Warrior Princess. Let's see. You know you said I'm your Gabrielle, but looking at this, maybe you're the Gabrielle and I'm the Xena.

MAXINE MYERS: Honey, you have never seen the show. How can you possibly know who's the Xena?

PAULA COHEN: Uh, because she's the one who has Warrior Princess in her name? I know what you like.

SAM YAO: Okay, I've got the cams up. Uh, yup, it's clear for you to come out of there. Those zoms are trapped in an aisle of Funko figures. Oh my God!

MAXINE MYERS: What? What is it?

SAM YAO: Well, they've got an Ursula from The Little Mermaid! Do you have any idea how – well, dear God, don't eat it! Look, if you pass those Funkos on your way out – oh God! I need another camera. There's something coming, in the shadows. Someone. Guys, I think you should get out of there. Go, now!

SAM YAO: Yeah, okay. Guys, just really keep running. I've got more cams up, and [sighs] no, it doesn't look good.

PAULA COHEN: More zoms?

SAM YAO: I don't really know how to say this, guys. It appears to be Voldemort.

MAXINE MYERS: What? Voldemort is coming after us?

PAULA COHEN: Someone dressed as Voldemort.

SAM YAO: Well, I guess. It just looks so like him! Ugh, no! I just got a full face view. Actually no nose.

PAULA COHEN: Someone who has dressed up as Voldemort, and taken it so seriously, they've cut off their own nose?

SAM YAO: He's heading your way. And oh. Oh! He has a mob behind him.

MAXINE MYERS: Death Eaters?

SAM YAO: More like Ewoks, or um, Daleks? But sort of a costume mash-up? They're Darwoks? Ewoleks? Oh, that is so wrong.

PAULA COHEN: I can hear them. Oh God, they sound so weird!

MAXINE MYERS: It's not just weird, it's them. Winchers are very real. Okay, I can admit when I was wrong. They're not going to be our friends. We are not going to reenact Xena together. We've got our DVDs, we've got our cables. We need to get out of here.

SAM YAO: Uh, okay, okay. Yeah, uh, right, then left, then third right. Go. Run!

MOB: [chants in the background] Sacrifice! Sacrifice...

PAULA COHEN: Sam, this is a dead end. And it's dark.

SAM YAO: Yeah. They've turned off the lights. And I think they've cut access to half my cams!

MAXINE MYERS: Where are the Winchers?

SAM YAO: Uh... no, I can't see them on the cams.

PAULA COHEN: If we hide here for a while, maybe they'll lose interest and we'll get away.

[door opens, MOB chants in background]

WINCHER: Oh, I don't think you'll be getting away. Not now, or ever!

MAXINE MYERS: Oh God, it's Voldemort. Ugh, your nose! Did you do that to yourself?

WINCHER: Call me Harold! Harold Wincher. And I was Voldemort, but now I am – [chokes] Ah. Sorry. Uh, could somebody help me with my robe? It was meant to fall dramatically to the floor by itself, but it snagged on the Elder Wand.

MAXINE MYERS: Sam, get us out of here!

WINCHER: I am... Lord Summerisle! ... It's uh, it's from The Wicker Man. Look, I had to put it together very hastily when we saw you approaching, and he doesn't have the same striking look as our old Voldy. But you know, I've yet to actually master Avada Kedavra, but everyone loves a barbecue!

SAM YAO and MAXINE MYERS and PAULA COHEN: What?!

SAM YAO: The end of The Wicker Man! They burn Edward Woodward alive! I think the Winchers are going to reenact that. Guys!

MAXINE MYERS: The mob are going to burn us alive!

PAULA COHEN: This was meant to be a date night.

WINCHER: Ewoks! Daleks! Seize them! Bind them to the poles!

SAM YAO: Yeah, I've got a clear eye line on the mob now. Oh my God, this is so many kinds of horrible. Uh, they're all in costume, but that one is wearing a Sith Lord robe with a Time Lord headdress. How could you? Also, guys, most of their costumes are bloodstained. They're really for real.

PAULA COHEN: Maxie, if this is it, I'm sorry I was so whiny about coming here. I love spending time with you. I can't believe I was jealous of your stupid show. I love you, Max.

MAXINE MYERS: Paula, I know, love. I do. And we've been through too much for it to end up like this. Right? They are crazy fans. I am a crazy fan. I know how to get under their skin. Wincher. Harold Wincher.

WINCHER: How may I help you, heathen? A last request before you are condemned to the flames?

MAXINE MYERS: Yes. My request is: be better! [MOB quiets] Harold, this reenactment is terrible! You're just wearing an Aran jumper. Lord Summerisle had a tweed jacket. Your mob of supposedly bloodthirsty pagan villagers look like they've run naked through the merch hall of Comic-Con, covered in glue! [MOB grumbles] And we're meant to be burned in a wicker man, not tied to poles.

WINCHER: Okay, but the wicker man is a very big prop. We had no lead time, and – oh God, she's right. This is a mess! None of you are even standing like bloodthirsty pagan villagers! I – look, I'm sorry. This was a rush job, and it shows. All right, take five. Let them go.

PAULA COHEN: That was amazing, Max.

MAXINE MYERS: Not now, honey. Quick, before they change their minds. Run!

PAULA COHEN: Okay, I have to admit, that was a pretty good date night for someone who likes seeing her girlfriend save the day by being brilliant.

MAXINE MYERS: What can I say? I'm pretty motivated when I'm trying to get home so I can watch Xena with my hot girlfriend... maybe dress up in my old Xena outfit for my hot girlfriend... reenact a few Xena bathing scenes with my hot girlfriend.

PAULA COHEN: Xena outfit, you say? Like the one on the DVD box? Mm, I don't hate it.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh, mine is way better than that. I made it from scrap metal in my spare time. What? [laughs] Isn't that what anyone would do in their spare time? [laughs] [continue chatting in the background]

SAM YAO: Hey, Five, now you've got those cables, I think I've worked out an alternative route home for you. How about you and me take a little detour and leave the doctors to it, hmm?

[jenncognito]

The Nine Spell Sisters You’ll Meet in the Cactus Garden of Insta

If you've found this blog lovely, deep down you already know you have a serious problem. It’s cool. As useless as reading this will be to save your wallet, you’ll find some peace in knowing we’re in this together. So let’s get on with the first step in solving acknowledging our shared problem by admitting that some or all of the following shit has been going on lately:

“We”* have been frantically Googling Spell and the Gypsy Collective, Joplin Jacket or worse Spell Xanadu eBay... or even more hopelessly tragic Spell Folktown. We've been waking from dreams of blue skies and going to bed fantasizing about Lotu...actually we don't go to bed - at least not lately. We’re not sleeping much are we? No. We’re up sweating; obsessing over the one that got away... or in all probability will, at the next drop - because our internet isn't fast enough; because 7 seconds is suddenly an eternity during check out; because XS sells out first. Every. Fucking. Time. What we have is full blown PTSD - Post Traumatic Spell Disorder, with more than a healthy side case of drop anxiety.

* Please note the use of the ‘Spell sister we’ here.  Much like a ‘spousal we’ this in fact means you.

Sound about right?

Welcome friend. It's nice to have you. You’re safe here. At least until the end of May, when Lotus drops.

Ever wonder how this started? I do (and so does my husband, my wallet and all my abandoned hobbies.)

Since science is ignoring me won’t explain the root cause of my condition, I've been working on a few conspiracy theories to help explain how one innocent retail therapy sesh, consisting of a Route 66 dress, turned into a full blown brand dependency that has me mapping out intricate buying strategies a full 48 - 72 hours before every drop:

Conspiracy Theory 1: Spell infuses their hand drawn fabrics with Stevie Nick's breath which they have bottled into microscopic nanotubes that fit into the heads of sewing needles. After the Australian TGA denied approval on a Stevie Nicks Vape pen, wherein the user would actually inhale the muse’s vocal chord filtered CO2, Spell had a shitload of unregulated gypsy breath on their turquoise encrusted hands. As Spelly and Lizzy are committed to sustainability, they quickly found a way to repurpose this rare and precious resource. The result? Once you start wearing a Spell piece, Stevie’s magical gypsy breath whispers into your pores, delivering you an effortless high that obviously demands you chase it again and again... on the wings of an enormous owl, obviously. Why this is probably true: Look no further than yourself - yes or no, you increasingly find yourself totally down with multiple layers of lace you would have never considered wearing at this age (or since that rad 1990 Jr. Prom dress)? Yes or no, you have found yourself with both a Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac Spotify Channel on endless rotation? Yes or no, when someone mentions the word leather, you blurt the lyrics “take from me my laaaace?” (note: There is actually a Spell Sisters 70’s Festival Jamboree playlist on Spotify. You’re welcome from Lulu Mey, the goddess who created it.)

Conspiracy Theory 2: Spell runs a genius instagram account 782k followers strong and just when you think you can ‘totally survive without another piece from Festival ‘17 BAM - you see it styled on a muse that could easily be you. You could be in Thailand, in that backless Lolita, in front of that waterfall, with those lovely beachy waves in your hair and no shoes because you floated there (on the owl - duh.) In fact it probably IS you… because they plucked that image straight out of your unicorn mind, put a 72% Lark filter on it and fed the ‘travelling you’ right into that instagram channel. They did this as a courtesy ICYMI; you know, all the retargeting ads the other gentle signs reminding you that you actually do NEED this piece in your life and it’s no longer optional. Why this is probably true: because it is true. See: @spell_byronbay.

Pick your theory but the FOMO (Folktown Obsessed Must Own) is real. Obviously, they have put a serious Spell on us - sorry not sorry, pun was too obvious. Show me another brand tribe that feels compelled to share their instant bond on insta when they show up full twinsies at a party (Who wore it best? Both of us! Yay! Love you! Love you more! #twinsemoji) Show me another brand tribe that has women from ages 18 - 81 searching for a magical unicorn in the shape of a mumu. Show me another brand who has more authentically gorgeous UGC. See: #myspellcollection #spelldesigns #spellskirtswish #vintagespell #spellluxelace #spellfestivalstyle

While we share a familiar ache in our wallets and art museums for closets, we’re a globally diverse tribe to be sure. Still yet, with every Spell Sister you meet, you connect with a little piece of yourself, right? Just in case your affliction is fresh and you’re still trying to find your cactus rose footings... Here’s the short list of the nine Spell Sister’s you’ll meet fall in love with in the cactus garden we call Insta (ps, I’m @jennvonhagen )

1) The Unconditional Lover: She buys something from every drop, and even if she's secretly not 100% sure it works on her, she's committed to making it work and her tribe is there to help her rock it hard. Queue the extra large knotted hemline and for God’s sake woman - just belt it. Spell can do no wrong - not even a dress recall phases her - she kept that Blue Skies Maxi Wrap dress, and she wears a kimono made of bubble wrap over it - and somehow it actually works for her - because she belts it.

2) The Fresh Collector: She "just found this new brand OMG" Bae got woke somewhere right after Hotel Paradiso and she can't shut the fuck up about her OZ obsession - because she DISCOVERED it you guys. We don’t blame her for the misconception, we felt EXACTLY the same way. Her insta is full of ‘lowered gaze’ shots that have you wondering WTF she’s staring at. Educated guess - it’s 16 trash bags full of labels she’ll never wear again. Regardless, she looks amazing in that dress, so we don’t give a shit - we welcome her with open kimonos.  Babushka was her first ‘fully aware drop’; her collection has a shit ton of it. We’re simultaneously proud and worried, because she has no idea what she’s gotten into.

3) The Hider: Everything is NWT. She hasn’t even worn what she's got, and the challenge of justifying the spend is getting exponential. With her towers of white boxes getting harder and harder to conceal, the Husband is now on to her. Busted a few times during a delivery, she now sends the white boxes to the neighbors house and swears:

“It’s from Target/ I’ve had this forever/I’m borrowing it/Yay Swapped!”

(Rejoice hiders: the boxes are being transitioned out. You’ll no longer have to hide them - now you can simply obsess over collecting the cute new calico bags.)

4) The Girl Next Door: Nobody knows what she does for a living, but apparently she lives at Spell. I mean right inside the fucking Byron store... 12 minutes after a drop goes live, she's #spellswishing in the latest sold-out-soon-to-be-Unicorn. We hate her. Just kidding we love her. Just kidding we want to be her. Just kidding, we’ll settle for a sleepover - in her bohemian yurt, which is probably located right outside Spell’s cactus garden. 

5) The Historian: Her collection dates back farther than Gypsy Queen and she probably has that first Sugarhigh+Lovestoned tee they styled the early jewels with in a safety deposit box. She can recite the name of every collection and every piece in it. She can spot fakes too, because she knows exactly when the logo lock up changed thanks to Rachel Pony Gold (circa April/May 2012). She indulges in the bootstrapped sisterly romance of it all. Damn right she owns the book; it’s signed - obviously.

6) The Cheerleader: She likes EVERY photo with Spell in it, and she will tell you you look GORGEOUS every single time she sees you on Insta because she believes that you have a beautiful unicorn soul. “You in that Sunset Road + Festival ‘16 mashup = AMAZING!”

She imagines you in your private cactus garden teaching your children how to hand letter affirmation mantras and macrame their own diapers as you sip organic kombucha and braid your bestie’s hair. She loves you. So. Fucking. Much. Her pronouns are heart eye emoji and kiss emoji.

7) The Impulse Buyer: constantly swears to God and all that is will-powerful that she WILL. NOT. CAVE to the next drop. She is going to be practical for fuck’s sake. (Yah, Lotus has alot of yellows and olives.. I’m more of a “summer”) But then she buys the Joplin Jacket because Florida winters are “brutal”. She has a large return shipping bill, admits that this is merely an endless paypal exchange and knows the Customer Service Angels by name (Oh, hey Angela). She uses the RA form and chat feature to send them love notes and see how they’re holding up after each drop.

8) The Wing-Woman: you either are one, have one - or both. She’s as hardcore as you are and she doesn’t judge your illness. You both have issues. This is the person you spend hours strategizing with before every drop. You two have your own kind of math and it’s harder to follow than ‘conceptual math. But this secret Spell math is a thing of fucking beauty: no matter what the equation, you always get the answer you want: 

”Ok, I returned my Blue Skies Wrap, so I have a credit, plus what I saved on the Babushka Midi equals the price of the Joplin …. I’m net zero!” 

You size up the line, screen shotting Snapchat and teasing each other via text. You pro/con every piece based on some fictional, rational version of you that “doesn’t need another gown, but needs to go with 2 piece sets you know, for more daily use.” (Um, sure - whatever you need to tell yourself hun.)  If you’re on vacay during the drop, she’s got your back - as in your paypal payback - unconditional support is just a click away. She’s also hunting unicorns for you on the side and blowing you up on text in the middle of the night with buyer’s guilt (note the lack of remorse. There is never remorse, just fleeting guilt and temporary indulgence shaming for going overboard with both the Stardust Cami AND the Jacket “I’m a living Goddamned disco ball, WTF have I done? But I lurrve them.Yay me!)

9) The Unicorn Hunter: She’s next level obsessed, willing to throw cash and half her current Spell stash at the "last ever of it's kind, ever." ‘Evil-bay’ is alternately her nemesis, and her reluctant savior. After multiple talks off the Buy It Now button and pleas to her practical side, she eventually caves for her Unicorn, pays an obscene price and then never takes it off. See: Anything Folktown or a Xanadu Maxi Dress on eBay/Poshmark/Depop/Facebook Swap & Sell insert streaming tears emoji + unicorn emoji

As different as we may be - there’s something beyond swirling around in art that pulls us together. Perhaps it’s the addictive cocktail of anticipation + adrenaline + winning. Even as we’re confident that Spelly, Lizzy and all the Angels are sorting through the surprise growing pains, deep down we know there’s a small part of us that will miss bonding/sweating/crying over the chaos. More likely though, it’s the authentic friendships formed while supporting each other. ( I just heard a story from two best friends who met via a hashtag. They live a world apart, but talk every day.)

While I can't offer a cure (because Lotus/May/God help us), we can still justify our spending take comfort in knowing we’re not alone. (Or maybe that just adds to our stress because at least 20K+ of us have the notifications turned on for an intense Facebook page where we channel our obsession into smarter ways to buy/sell or swap more pieces.) Either way - rejoice in the Spell Sisterhood - our love runs deep, our tribe is epic and your OOTD is eternally on point.

PS - does anyone have a Turquoise Folktown Skirt and Top set in XS? Seriously, I die.

Note: You can follow more of the saga on Insta @jennvonhagen After I wrote this blog, I stumbled upon a hilarious thread on the Facebook Spell Designs Buys Swap and Sell page where fellow sisters are sharing their legit addiction and proven survival techniques. I’m currently interviewing for a follow up to this post, where I’ll share stories from all nine types of sisters. If you identify with one or more of the above, comment with your number(s) and if you’d like to be a part of the next post, message me here, on Insta or email me at jenn@ambidustrious.com

[thecineastes-blog]

Grand Prix RPDR RuView: Reality Stars!: The Rusical (S06E05)

Break out your selfie stick and get ready to break the internet! For Grand Prix RPDR RuView, we’ll be giving you the overview of each episode, top moments of each episode, the shadiest moment of each episode, our favorite queen of the each episode, our least favorite queen of each episode, best looks on the runway, and our predictions for next week.

The queens re-enter the workroom to see Charlie Hides’s lipstick goodbye...which is quickly erased by Trinity. I miss when the queens would actually read aloud the departing words of their newly eliminated sister. But that seems to have gone the way of the dinosaur. Trinity does not seem to be the least bit sentimental and wants to focus on what’s ahead. The queens seem so bummed that Charlie did not put up a fight. Trinity is also quick to clarify that she had wished she had been put into the bottom two for her performance and not for her questionable leadership. (personally, I thought she was in the bottom two for both those reasons but I digress…)

While everyone does seem genuinely happy about Sasha and Shea’s win, Alexis wants to become the cream to everyone else’s milk this season and rise to the top; Nina seems like she’d pull a Nomi Malone on any of her fellow contestants if given the opportunity.

 The next day RuPaul drops in on the queens, sans her usual cryptic video mail. However, it does seem like our prayers (as well as those letter writing campaigns and hunger strikes) have paid off, we actually get a mini-challenge! Judt in time to be considered an Easter miracle! And on top of the that the Pit Crew is here! This season they are sponsorless, but have two new members, Yadir and Jared!

The queens had to shoot fun selfie photos with the Pit Crew in their summer ensembles. The photos were really fun to watch and made me realize how much I missed the mini challenges. Alexis is chosen as the winner, and will spearhead the maxi challenge in Kardashian: the Musical! Since Alexis won she got to choose not only her role, but everyone else’s.

The show seems to have gotten so disjunctive this season (and actually since All Stars 2). Drag Race used to follow a very linear pattern, there was the She Mail/RuMail, the mini challege, the preperation/rehearsal on the main challenge, performing the main challenge, the runway, and finally the lip sync. There just needs to be more a more cohesion for the rest of the series, because it’s getting ridiculous.

Alexis chooses the role self-proclaimed momager™ Kris Jenner; the other casting goes as follows, Eureka as North West, Cynthia as Kim, Farrah as Kylie, Valentina as Kendall, Aja as Kourtney, Sasha as Lindsay Lohan, Trinity as Paris Hilton, Peppermint as Britney Spears, Shea as Blac Chyna, and Nina as Khloe. Nina, originally wanting the role of Blac Chyna is already complaining about not receiving and the rehearsals have yet to start! 

Eureka, has had her ups and downs these past episodes. ESPECIALLY since she has to use crutches. She is being a real Pollyanna about the situation, which is refreshing. As the queens are listening to their music and trying to get their lyrics down, Nina keeps going on and on about how unfair it felt not getting the role she wanted. Nina is as salty as the Pacific ocean. If this were Dreamgirls, she’d be playing Effie White.

Peppermint said what everyone else was thinking, there are THREE Black actors to the ONE Black role, so two people are gonna end up being shafted! I’m actually surprised they did not have Brandy as a character in the musical, since Kim working for her led to her meeting, dating and making the sex tape with Ray J.

The choreography session, led by Todrick Hall was well...clunky. Apparently, it was an intensive two-day ordeal...and some people took it to more than others. Eureka is making glam happen, she is applying rhinestones on ballet slippers to make it that more glam!

Aja has experienced a true Hannukah miracle with thinking she got a slimmer nose. Eureka also ate some humble pie and asks for Sasha and Valentina’s forgiveness. They both open up about their eating disorders, and even Shea talks about her bulimia battle.  RuPaul’s Best Group Therapy Race indeed!

For the musical, I thought they all gave a strong performance but I’m sad they did not perform Kim Kardashian Meets the Easter Bunny: an American Play (and yes that is a real play, available on Amazon).

Ru comes down the runway in a shimmery silver number (is this becoming her signature color?); I’m happy to see hair and makeup and back to normal. So Meghan Trainor is wearing a unicorn onesie. Did she not have a stylist or at least ONE gay friend to talk to her about this? It just looks like she got up out of bed and ran to the studio to film the episode.

For the musical, I thought they all gave a strong performance but I’m sad they did not perform Khloe Kardashian Meets the Easter Bunny: an American Play (and yes that is a real play, available on Amazon).

Ru comes down the runway in a shimmery silver number (is this becoming her signature color?); I’m happy to see hair and makeup and back to normal. So Meghan Trainor is wearing a unicorn onesie. Did she not have a stylist or at least ONE gay friend to talk to her about this? It just looks like she got up out of bed and ran to the studio to film the episode.

Runway Over-Ru:

Category is Faux Fur Fabulous! First up is Peppermint, wearing a whole lot of pink (are her signature colors Blush and Bashful?). The skirt was very reminiscent of her ‘Naughty Nightie’ look, although the skirt fit her much better. Her faux fur piece reminded me of cotton balls. All in all, I was not a fan. 

Did Kimora leave behind her Princess Banana Lady costume? Because that's what Trinity was serving on the runway (minus the first world sob story about not wearing padding.) the added nose ring and accessories were kind of a cross between Coco Montrese’s ‘Ru-animal’ look and Season one and ‘All-Stars’ alum Shannel. Sasha Velour was serving Russian dressing realness in a Kozachok inspired look. 

The faux fur pants and hat were spot on. Well, after a chilly night of clubbing…” was Alexis’ Look for this runway, although the “reveal” was disappointing. Had she gone with a crystal encrusted mini dress or hell even a nude illusion like a Central Park flasher would’ve been more satisfying than that dress from Forever 21.

Cynthia’s Faux fur look was a lot. It was a two in one, it was mesh, it was faux fur, it had long sleeves, she had on gloves, she had on thigh high boots. Too much. Next up is Nina Bo’nina Brown Mountbatten-Windsor in a great look reminiscent of Mary J. Blige. This look (almost) compensated for Nina’s attitude this episode. 

Aja’s look could best be described as holographic Hoth stripper.Not my favorite. I did like the lavender hair and earmuffs, but wasn’t living for the rest of the ensemble. Looking like a telenovela villain in a snakeskin patterned gown, faux fur stole and wild kingdom jewels was Valentina. I liked the look, but wish it was more faux fur.

Two words: muppet jacket. That’s what I’d use to describe Farrah’s Faux fur piece. That in combination with the holo printed booty shorts, highlighter green color (Hello, Michelle Visage!),  weird windchime foil necklace and Red s-wave wig-it was a confusing look.  I prefer Farrah’s retro showgirl vibe from last episode, it definitely suits her better.

Shea’s neon vinyl faux fur monster look was IT. It reminded me of Naomi Small’s neon runway look-which I also love. Were the Misfits’s missing a member? Speaking of 1980s kids Glam Rock, Eureka looked like she was straight out of ‘Jem’ and I wasn’t mad about it. From the neon, faux fur, hair, leotard and face paint- it quite literally looked like something Pizzaz would wear (minus the crutches).

Farrah and Cynthia are placed at the bottom two, and effectively were polar opposites with their performances; Cynthia performance was high energy but it was clear she did not know the words. Farrah’s performance was lackluster and somewhat boring. But I was clutching my set of Easter Sunday pearls when Eureka was sent home! 

In hindsight, it made perfect sense, but RuPaul (and her lawyers) would be remiss (and held responsible) if they did not give Eureka time to heal. Untucked was just really weird when Alexis got on her pedestal about feeling that she did not feel the other contestants tried to help her with her runway look? Ugh.

Jonny’s Favorite Moments:

Mamma Mia!: Alexis Michelle as Kris Jenner nothing short of epic! She was present on stage, even when she wasn’t the main feature, was amazing.

Peppermint Twist: There is nothing better than Peppermint’s commentary on what is going on. My favorite parts of any episode.

Jonny’s Favorite Shadiest Moments:

Tony! Toni! Toné!: Will we be seeing Kardashian: the Musical make it to the great white way….don’t hold your breathe.

The Last Unicorn: Unofficial Commandment for RPDR Judges that I think Meghan Trainor did not realize, DRESS TO IMPRESS!

It’s the Great Menorah, Charlie Brown: I was glad we were able to witness a Hanukkah miracle! Aja’s nose becoming smaller! L'Chaim!

Jonny’s Favorite Queen:

Eureka, she will definitely will be missed this season. There were times she was downright grating, and others where she was very sympathetic and endearing. This episode, where we saw her hobbling around on crutches and wheelchairs with an ACL tear and not being the least bit salty or bitter? Take notes everybody, this is the attitude to have!

Jonny’s Least Favorite Queen:

Nina’s sourpuss demeanor this ENTIRE episode was really disconcerting. Come on, she was cast as Khloé Kardashian and was acting like she had to play Brody Jenner! And since Khloé is such a fan of the show (and a former judge to boot) I just wish Nina would have put more effort to outshine her cast members. I can see why people have called her a Debbie Downer

Predictions:

It’s FINALLY Snatch Game; this maxi challenge separates the boys from the men (or something like that). Let the odds be ever in your favor darlings.

Anais’ Favorite Moments:

Crystal Crazy: Valentina’s love of crystals and how stoning “feeds her soul” in ‘Untucked’ was adorable.

Unbreakable: Although she wrecked her knee in the Cheerleading challenge, Eureka didn’t let it bring her or her attitude down. (Side note: FYI Ru-no cheerleading challenges ever again.)

Anais’ Favorite Shadiest Moments:

Basic Instinct: How exactly was it the other Queens’ faults that Alexis wore a basic dress on the runway? It’s a competition! They’re going to be cordial but they’re not going to dress you.

Unicorn Tears: Was Meghan Trainor’s stylist on vacation? Really, a unicorn onesie?

Anais’ Favorite Queen:

Eureka and Valentina. Eureka’s positive attitude about her injury and not letting it hinder her in the competition was great-and to be honest I wish she had spent more time being like that, than coming off as desperate for camera time. (Bring positive Eureka for Season 10!) Valentina giving Farrah a bit of tough love was just what the Doctor ordered.

Anais’ Least Favorite Queen:

Farrah Moan and Nina Bo’nina Brown Day-Lewis. Farrah’s whining and cry baby demeanor is getting a bit irritating. She needs to toughen up when receiving constructive criticism-the 5 G’s girl. (Good God Girl Get a Grip). Nina’s attitude was ultra-salty and she spent a majority of her time complaining about not being Blac China, as opposed to taking the role she was given and making the most of it. I understand Nina’s faced a lot of opposition in the ATL drag scene, but she really should be showing her haters that she’s H-E-R-E bitch and showing them that they can’t bring her down.  It shouldn’t be a surprise to her that other contestants are questioning her desire to be in the competition.

Predictions:

Snatch Game! FINALLY. It’s really the time where we’ve hit mid season and it becomes survival of the fittest. Being safe isn’t enough anymore.

[alolatrainersemina]

Your Weird Creatures AU reminds me of all the Fantasy AU drawings I've seen of Satyr-Maxie and Merman-Archie !

Merman Archie is great

(Satyr Maxie is not my thing though)

Speaking of which, we came up with a thing some time ago and it went like this, roughly (ORAS by the way - there are hardenshipping things in this):

1. Human college student Maxie (who was forced to do a project around the sea) finds dark-skinned bara guy with a huge fish tail on the beach

(Maxie: OM Arceus)

(Maxie: This is a merman???? *He expected mermen to be more “beautiful” but Archie completely throws him off)

(Archie is technically more of a sharkman [what])

-

2. (Archie: I wanted to bask in the sunlight as usual and somehow I’m stranded this time…water…need….) He shakes his tail a bit to catch Maxie’s attention and gestures to the water

Mermans don’t speak Human

Also cue a couple Carvanhas franticly grunting in the water; these are his smol bros

-

3. Maxie realizes something’s not right and pours buckets of water on Archie

It’s not high tide yet

Maxie’s also thinking of getting a cart and putting Archie on it to make life easier (the nerd’s not strong enough)

-

4. Archie stares at Maxie and checks him out (Even when he’s dying - Maxie has good looks though! Human legs are interesting)

Maxie doesn’t actually realize what Archie’s doing and becomes anxious when Archie became quiet

He tells Archie to not panic and he’ll get him back into the sea, gesturing along to try making his point clear - Archie understands none of this

Before Archie does anything, Maxie draaaaaaags him from above

It is a very uncomfortable experience

-

5. Maxie takes his jacket off because it’s soaked wet and heavy and it will affect his movements

(He’s not wearing anything inside)

(Merman Archie can never understand why humans wear so many clothes)

The Carvanhas are chattering to themselves (”Aniki looks like he wants to date the human” “No he doesn’t” “Yes he does” “Last time he tries to date a dolphin and scares the hell out of her, now he wants to date a human?! You’ve got to be kidding me” “Aniki does that kind of stuff though” “…”)

In Maxie’s perspective the smol sharks seem very worried so he drags Archie with even more force

Maxie gets exhausted quickly and can’t stop gasping and resting on Archie’s body, his face is scarlet red

Archie feels his heart flutter

(”Yeaaaaah it’s happening” - one of the Carvanhas)

-

6. Maxie: “Be careful next time…not everyone is nice. They might lock you up and only Arceus would know otherwise…”

Archie assumes Maxie’s confessing his love to him (he’s infatuated - people fall for other people’s looks! It’s a normal thing!) and he kisses Maxie in the cheek real quick

Which scares the hell out of Maxie because he thought Archie was going to bite him

(Carvanha A: “Nope.”)

Archie (gesturing): I don’t bite ;w;

(Maxie: Like I’m going to believe that) but he continues dragging Archie anyways

(Carvanha B: “Yep it’s still on”)

-

7. The main reason merman (sharkman) Archie isn’t captured by humans despite going near beaches is because he looks like some ordinary bara swimmer from afar

(Which is an advantage actually)

-

8. Maxie finally managed to drag Archie deep enough into the ocean, but now his own safety is at risk

And sure enough a tide hits and he drowns

Archie was wondering what happened and then realizes this red-haired human is a little different than the other humans who went into the ocean: he’s not floating like the others did

Carvanha B: He’s drowning, Aniki, save him!

Archie: Wha-?!

-

9. Archie grabs Maxie underwater right away

Maxie’s not…conscious (in reality he kinda just fainted due to low blood sugar problems)

Carvanha C proposes CPR

Archie has no clue what that is

Carvanha C quickly teaches Archie how to do the thing

It happens

-

10. Maxie feels revived and is brought back to the shore

He remembers being kissed? by someone but it was a very hazy memory and his glasses were off so he couldn’t see a thing

And then he sees a shark fin and a big tail disappearing in the water right after he recovers

(Maxie: …Damn)

-

That was basically the “how they met” story

(I keep making ORAS Maxie human in fantasy-ish AUs)

After this merman Archie probably manages to learn Human by listening to pirate talk (he’s smart)

Maxie wants to expand land

Blah blah blah, there might be magic and weird things involved

They finally get together…and yeah

(Translating chats is so much work [only because there’s a lot of stuff]…I don’t have enough brainpower to come up with anything more right now)

(But I hope you all liked this! o—

[generalhospitalopinions]

Is it me or has Nelle been dressing up like Sam lately? Friday's episode she kind of had the Sam look. Black shiny leather jacket , hair to the side. I am pretty sure Sam has worn that style before.

Ish. Many women have worn their hair to the side. Nelle has done that since she came on. The jacket was leather but again Carly also wears leather. As does Kristina and Kiki. Sam just wears it way more often. Like almost always lol. Thats her signature but others also wear it. Nelle was also in a cute black with floral print dress. Wicked cute but Sam hasn't worn dresses as casual wear since 06 when she did everyday hero's and she did some when she was preg in 04. Otherwise Sam saves the dresses for special occasions. Carly wears dresses and skirts way more often as casual wear. As does maxie. No I think if nelle on Friday had any one person's look it was maxie's. Maxie has worn very similar style.