#also just songs about siblings who would like. die for each other and have a super tight bond

[bluee08]

Astr observations 《4》

Disclaimer: I am not an astrologer. This post is only for entertainment purposes, so whatever I have mentioned, if it is reasonates, well and good, and if it doesn't, then please take it with a grain of salt. Thankyou.

🛖 Aries in 3rd house may have a very reckless yet mature behind the scenes relationship with their siblings. They also fight a lot with their siblings for no reason. Surprisingly, this usually goes physical more than verbal. Very playful relationship. There is always a strong urge to hit the other person and irritate them to death. It gives them pleasure. When injured, you might immediately stop the fight no matter how serious it is and take care of each other. Oh, and if someone else dares to trouble any of you, hell would break loose. They can't hear anything bad about each other. In certain cases, this could also apply to mars in 3rd house.

🪵 Dirty mind, Dirty mind, Dirty, Dirty, Dirty mind~ Heard the song? Yeah it's made for those who have their personal planets or ascendant conjuct asteroid Prevert. Trust me, the dumb way to die is by sneaking a glance in their minds. You will be traumatized for the rest of your life and will never look at them the same way again. At any given moment their thoughts are always in gutter. Yeah I am calling myself out at this one. Do I care? No.

🛖 Mars in 10th house folks are really good at dancing. They dance so well.... like you can see the passion in their steps. Dancing can be one of the hobbies in their lives. These people can also be known for dancing professionally and being captivating as hell on social media.

🪵 Lilith in 7th house could indiacte having seen a lot of failed marriages in their life. This could be in their immediate family or even include their own parents. Hence these people have a really different mindset when it comes to marriages. They might even resent the idea of getting married and often question, what's the point?

🛖 Moon in 1st house are babies. Literally babies. Like they look so damn cute and adorable that I just can't help myself but give them a huge hug. They are the most genuine type of people I think because its rarely when what's on their mind is not on their faces. They look so innocent and naive (even if they are legit not.) People just wanna protect them at all costs. They bring out the maternal instinct for them from the other person naturally. But no matter what their warmth is the best comfort zone and their arms are home <3

🪵 Mars in 5th house would definitely be that uncle/aunt/cousin/sibling who spoiled small kids to death and taught them to do weird stunts and create a headache for other family members.

🛖 Transit Saturn in 1st house is really frustrating. It feels like you are doing nothing progressive for yourself and just wasting time. Your efforts go in vain and its really hard to maintain consistency. Sometimes you also realize what mistakes you are making but you find it difficult to correct them. Mental state is always fluctuating and self-confidence is very down. This mainly goes on until the very end when you realize that now you gotta be serious. But when you really do hardwork and break the cycle of laziness, it pays off. Its like an immature, careless kid suddenly becoming a responsible and serious person. Remember, our beloved saturn plays mind games with you. Its either you break free from this if you want the prize or pay the price.

🪵 The people that I have seen to be most likely get cornered, misunderstood and targeted are people having chiron in their 1st house. Its really concerning and hurtful. Because of other idiots these babies get hurt on a very deep and subconscious level. They occasionally have identity crisis and depression is their bestfriend. They try to be happy but life always seems to push something in their way.

For example, I have this relative of mine and she lost her brother a year before she got married. She thought if she starts fresh, it would help. But unfortunately turned out her in-laws were not good people. She was gravely misunderstood by everyone. Even if people knew that it was not her fault, they took great pleasure in gossiping about her, blaming her and literally named her a psycho. Which she is not ofcourse. She was just mentally fragile and instead of understanding her, supporting her, they made her more unstable for no reason.

🛖 Leo venus folks love Cats. They are an animal lover by heart and soul. They are someone who might stop their car in the middle of the road because they saw a really cute cat walking on the sidewalk. Just to go their and mingle with it while thinking, If only I could take it home....

🪵 Cancer moons in 3rd house, please, please stop imitating that baby voice just to butter me up and get your work done. You might think its cute but no, I can see through everything and its so annoying plus immature. Ofc now it doesn't apply to everyone out there but those who do, please take my advice and stop it. Usually I have noticed only underdeveloped people do this but until they realize, its too late and others already find them so annoying. Honestly Cancer moons are so smart yet sometimes they.....*sighs*

🛖 Nessus aspecting Mercury could mean that you often end up hurting people through your words or the way you communicate even when you genuinely don't mean it. These people are really misunderstood a lot of times. Also this works the other way too. For example, you get easily hurt or offended when people speak ill about you. They might just share their opinion on your new home decor but instead you would feel insulted when in reality that's not the case. Not that you would hold a grudge, it depends person to person but you will definitely not overlook that. It would just sting a lot for no reason. You will always wonder, why did she say that?

For positive aspects, this could work out well too, for instance they know exactly what to say and what not to. They can be great negotiators, entrepreneurs and social influencers. They also know how to handle people embodying nessus qualities like a troll or opposition hell bent on creating trouble. Hard aspect people will slowly learn to overcome their problems in communication with time and experience.

🪵 Mars opposite MC screams suppressed anger. The thick tension between their anger and self-image is unbelievable. They don't like to get angry in public. They often gulp down their anger to the last extent because they don't want their reputation to get spoiled because of it. Sometimes its automatic they wanna get angry at someone but end up swallowing it anyway. But please don't test their patience. They might just explode unexpected at any time like a nuclear bomb and destroy everything within their range, not caring about their public image whatsoever.

🛖 Lilith in first house/Conjuct Ascendant are the infamous bad examples of the family while Lilith opposite Ascendant are the good examples with secrets darker than nightsky- always holding their sanity with a single string. Ironically, both are siblings, two sides of the same coin.

🪵 Remember, in one of my posts, I said that I don't relate with Aquarius rising and their unique fashion sense? Well, guys, I finally cracked the mystery! It's not our fashion sense that's unique. It's us. We are the aliens. Ok, that was a bad joke. But really, for example, a few months back, I wore a very pretty dress at my cousin's wedding. And istg people were looking at me like I was an alien, like I wore something totally out of the blue. As if It was not something improper or overdressed but very different than what everyone was wearing, which, of course, was not the case.

Now the funny thing is, if it was someone else wearing the same dress, I don't think anyone would've said anything about it. And voila! It happened. A few days back, I attended a family function, and I saw a girl wearing the same dress in different color and design. And fr nobody uttered a word. Those same people overlooked her as if it was totally normal. As if they didn't just make me talk of the town for a whole week because of that dress. So yeah, finally figured out, it's me, I am the problem.

🛖 Its not always true when they say Earth Mars people are calm and collected. I mean they are but suppose you have a virgo mars but you also have a Leo or Aries or Sagittarius stelium, your Virgo mars will be crying in the corner while that fire stellium will create a havoc and burn down the whole world in matter of some seconds.

🪵 North node in 11th house people are so likable. They are that one friend who knows the entire school and vice versa. So many connections and so many new friends. They just keep making connections left and right no matter where they go. People like to be in their contact. This gives me 'popular girl' vibe.

🛖 You sneaky little thing, you think no one knows how much you love reading smut? Yeah you, I am talking to you, Scorpio Jupiter/3rd house. Look me in the eye, I dare you to deny this.

🪵 Mercury conjuct Mars.... man, they literally spit fire when they talk. Can't win any argument against them. Ngl, I told my friend that I would leave her if she doesn't keep her hands off me special mention to her love language that is playfully hitting me at any possible situation. She just laughed and said, "Go, nobody would take you." Me: Cries silently. Her: I know baby truth hurts. Lemme give you a hug.

🛖 If you have no positive aspect to sun in your natal chart, it might be possible that people don't like your personality much. They think you are too egoistical or full of yourself. They might also backbitch about you a lot. Now this is just what I have observed so far. So it may not reasonate with everyone.

🪵 People with Sun conjuct Ascendant make very great leaders. They have a king/queen Aura surrounding them. And when they speak or share their opinion, people actually listen and take them seriously. When they walk in a room, they make sure everyone knows who has the authority.

[transsongtaewon]

Magical Girl Yerim AU

Yerim becomes a magical girl some time after her parents die, while living with her uncle

Not really a conflict while she's there since no one really cares what she's up to. Yay.

She is known as the Ice Queen

however once Yoojin becomes her guardian... who knew having an involved parent could be such a hindrance

I mean, a guardian who would object to you going to fight deadly monsters??? Cruel.

Yoojin assumes she needs some time to warm up to them since it's a new situation etc. and is trying to give her space until she is more comfortable

Yoohyun is Deeply Suspicious because obviously this annoying new kid is hiding something and it might be dangerous to hyung!!!

(also she's eating into his precious Hyung-time but that's obviously not why he's upset. Not at all.)

...anyway, he follows her one night when she sneaks out and gets caught up in one of her battles against the forces of evil, which results in him also becoming a magical girl.

Oops

"This is what you've been doing???" "What did you think it was?!" "Idk, drugs?" *sounds of violence*

Yoohyun becomes her de-facto fighting partner even though their powers do not compliment each other and half the time they are about as likely to attack each other as their enemy, but still, they usually win so it works out

And now they share a secret

Yoohyun does not like keeping this a secret from Yoojin, but also Yoojin would try to fight monsters on their behalf and it would likely end Very Badly so they agree to just not mention this whole thing to him

it does mean they have to hang out more now. And collude to hide their secret identities, much to their annoyance

Yoohyun starts to pick Yerim up after school so they have more time to plan/train and Yerim's friends are smitten with the hot older boy, which is the worst thing that's ever happened to Yerim. Yoohyun is subsequently banished to wait the next block over

Yoojin is delighted because obviously this means they get along well now! His sweet kids are finally adjusting to each other! Sure, they quarrel a lot, but it's always in good fun :-)

obviously he still worries a lot because they live in a world where monsters randomly attack and his kids always go missing during those times for some reason

one time he is looking for them and runs into Ice Queen:

Yoojin: "Have you seen my daughter, she is 15 and about your height, I'm really worried" Yerim: "...No." 🧍‍♂️ "But I'm sure she's fine, don't worry" (Yoojin continues to worry)

Yoojin also loves getting kidnapped by bad guys which is tremendously stressful to his kids, but somehow by the time they free him, his captors are frequently already crying or unconscious

Peace is a monster that was purified by Yoohyun in a fight and he planned to get rid of him, but Yoojin finds them while he's arguing with Yerim what to do about the monster and decides to adopt the incredibly adorable cat that also happens to have a horn. Stranger things have happened

tldr, Yerim and Yoohyun become reluctant siblings/partners in crime and are vaguely annoyed every time they notice they actually get along. But maybe it's nice to have someone you can rely on to have your back. Possibly.

they sometimes accidentally fall asleep on the couch together and whenever Yoojin comes across this scene he almost cries from how cute they are (and takes pictures as proof, horrifying both Yerim and Yoohyun)

(Also obviously Yoojin has his inklings about what's going on and goes on a quest to make sure his wards are safe, where he encounters head of the Supernatural Associates Department, Song Taewon, and seasoned magical girl (grown man) Chains. Things proceed from there in a very gay manner.)

[astroismypassion]

Astrology tea 🍵🍵🍵

Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion

Trigger warning mentions of de**h, d***s

🍵 You know how Sagittarius Sun truly express their feelings? It shimmers through just a bit when they exaggerate a story. If they exaggerate a piece of information, you bet they were very surprised, too stunned to speak at the time it was happening. And them being surprised, shocked often equals exaggeration of a story.

🍵 Try to see where Juno and asteroid Groom overlap. If you have a Cancer Juno, yet Groom at 28 (Cancer degree), it could be a Cancer Sun that ends up proposing you.

🍵 But when you look at your own asteroid Briede (19029) sign, this is the Sun sign YOU might be the most serious about and who you would propose to.

🍵 Cancer Venus always gives a thoughtful, yet small, sometimes a cheap gift that relates to both of you, connects you two. For example you both like drinking tea and they buy you a tea cup and tea bags. Or you both really enjoy vinyl records and they buy you one. It’s always something that connects you two. 😀 You guys are really thoughtful gift-givers!

🍵 Aries Mercury gets really bored of one way of communicating for too long. For example, if you were sending each other audio messages for too long, they will want to change it and do phone call instead or video call etc.

🍵 Gemini Chiron and Gemini Lilith often gets scars, bruises on their fingers, hands. Or they may get skin on their hands, fingers easily burnt when cooking, when starting a fire.

🍵 Virgo over the 5th house might develop a crush on any person that they share the same ideas, viewpoint. If they like someone’s arguments, life philosophy, habits. They might develop a crush on someone when they think “This (wo)/man thinks just like me!”. They could also strongly relate to certain book authors and writers, because of the way they think, they might have a strong liking of their work. They might be prone to cheating mentally, if this would exist. When they are starting to agree more with someone else’s viewpoints, opinions than their partner’s, you might be losing them. 😬

🍵 Sagittarius Suns with Scorpio Mercury are oddly preoccupied with the idea of death and them dying and how they will die. Some have special requests on how they wish to be buried or which song they would like to be played at their funeral.

🍵 I noticed Scorpio Mercury are controversial, but for some reason Taurus Mercury seem to be too. Like Taurus Mercury celebrities Kanye West, Megan Fox, Kristen Stewart, Lena Dunham, Miranda Kerr, Donatella Versace, Abigail Breslin, Cher, Kirsten Dunst, Renée Zellweger. They had some controversial views and opinions throughout years. They are just likely to be canceled on the internet or just really disliked due to jealousy, envy they evoke in others as much as Scorpio Mercury. They could also receive public dislike online.

🍵 If you have Aries Part of Fortune you might find yourself in struggles in life (difficulties in college, financial issues etc.) that not even your family members will be able to advise you on or support you. In times of conflict and stress you will often be alone to find the real courage and strength needed.

🍵 People might not believe Pisces Moon when they say they don’t do drugs. Also, they could experience random drug tests.

🍵 However, also on Pisces Moon: they have weird fascination with psychedelics, yet dislike weed and drugs. Some believe psychedelics could heal their trauma. 🤷🏼‍♀️

🍵 I noticed Aries Moons often have a female sibling. They grew up around strong women in their family who are very independent, unmarried or career driven.

🍵 Sagittarius Sun when younger might have often been the butt of the joke in their friend group. This is one side of Sagittarius Sun that hasn’t been talked enough. People have made fun on their expense often times when their were feeling insecure enough on their own. That’s why they try to not show much emotion, appear unfazed and diffuse things back with humour.

🍵 Aquarius Venus might date their friend, or multiple people until committed or could ghost. But Uranus in the 2nd house?? These guys don’t participate in hookup culture (and rebel against it), don’t entertain multiple people (doesn’t have a roaster), don’t do ghosting.

🍵 Taurus Venus has a love language of gift giving and this is also how they flirt, they just start buying you things or food. Yet, sometimes this can come across trying to buy their loved one’s love. 😬

🍵 Venus in the 6th house looves using hand cream. People compliment them for their soft hands more than they would any other placement.

🍵 Asteroid Kiss sign in the Kiss Persona chart could indicate the Sun sign of the person you will share your first kiss with.

Credit goes to my blog @astroismypassion

[pagannatural]

2.15 Tall Tales

-once again we have an earth-shattering revelation episode followed by silly sibling hijinks episode. Last episode Dean confirmed out loud he would rather die than kill Sam and that he is devoted body and soul to saving him. Now he is eating sloppily from a takeout container on Sam’s bed. Fascinating ecosystem.

-so Dean is on Sam’s bed. He likes hanging out and making a show of being annoying while lying on Sam’s bed. He must want Sam’s attention because it seems territorial. He’s licking his fingers and smacking his lips and being as loud and expansive as possible. Maybe Dean is reclaiming Sam in some way after he was possessed last episode by laying claim on his space.

-Sam asks Dean to turn down his music so Dean turns it up, and the song is actually so fucking perfect look at the lyrics

I could really just highlight the entire song. It’s about someone avoiding talking to the subject and the subject feeling out of their mind lonely about it.

It sets the tone for the whole episode and adds meaning to why they’re getting on each other’s nerves so badly. They’re avoiding talking about the big thing on their minds and subsequently picking at other things and at each other. Again, they’re lonely when there’s distance between them and they don’t feel they belong to each other.

-Sam and Dean recount their investigation into the case so far to Bobby. It’s a storytelling device that allows us to see into the characters’ perspectives and the ways in which they are unreliable narrators.

Sam recalls Dean being a sloppy drunk and basically asking him to have a foursome with him, a girl at the bar, and her sister. He recalls Dean leering at him and wiggling his eyebrows and Starla drunkenly hanging off of Dean, doing the same. It very much seems as though Dean and Starla are suggesting a small, incestuous orgie.

Sam turns up his nose because Dean is drunk and he thinks the girl is trashy and tanked. His judgment toward her is palpable and betrays his jealousy. It’s also a glimpse into the way he perceives Dean’s attempts at setting him up—he recognizes Dean’s interest in him sexually, he remembers when this happens, but he doesn’t think it’s serious because he thinks it’s about the girls rather than about him. Dean is a himbo in his story, kind of without intention or feeling.

Dean, however, describes hitting it off with a woman who is a classy grad student. He remembers Sam being extremely feminine and prissy and confronting him about making out with a woman like he’s Dean’s nagging girlfriend.

Trying to set Sam up is not a part of his story, instead he tells it like he’s the center of attention and Sam is jealous. It makes me wonder if Dean is self conscious about how he treats Sam, how he often involves him in his sex life. Later in the series Dean is described as “needy” more than once in the context of his relationship with Sam as a way to taunt both of them. It’s interesting that Dean would feel shame about needing Sam, whereas Sam’s shame is never really about needing Dean. This is one of the dynamics in their relationship that tends to operate consistently in the background for the entire show, and I see it as a birth order thing. Dean as the older sibling feels responsible for Sam, so he can’t be clingy and unhinged the way that Sam sometimes is without really thinking anything of it.

Dean also portrays Sam as feminine. Like, flamboyant. It’s probably easier for Dean to focus on Sam’s sexuality and make fun of him for being gay rather than take him seriously for being in love with him. So Dean is doing the same thing Sam is doing, dismissing Sam’s intentions and chalking his behavior up to something else.

Both stories are defensive in their own ways: Dean paints himself as totally uninterested in Sam. Sam paints Dean as indiscriminate and careless in his attentions but wanting Sam to join in. Common elements are Dean’s attention being on someone else and Sam being jealous. The variables are the why’s.

-Bobby: you’re bickering like an old married couple

Dean: no see married couples can get divorced

Okay so you’re not like an old married couple—not because you’re not married or because you’re not a couple, but because your connection is more permanent? Okay!

The brothers say they’re more like conjoined twins which is wild because regular siblings get on each other’s nerves plenty but they are not regular siblings and that description is not enough for them so they describe themselves as physically part of each other. Over and over we’re told that actually they are not “just brothers” like Sam said in Playthings.

-Dean was watching porn on Sam’s laptop. He eats in Sam’s bed and jerks off with Sam’s laptop and it’s like he’s a dog getting his scent on everything Sam touches.

-Sam gives Dean the sassiest look anyone’s ever given anyone

and I’m including it in this analysis because it’s giving major fem vibes.

-the alien story is actually super fucked up and horrifying, although it’s clearly played as a joke. The guy says he was probed and forced to slow dance. The brothers seem to be telling this particular story together in a shared perspective, because it’s already embarrassing for them to hear and talk about, and underneath the bickering they respect and understand each other.

-the next interview is Dean’s telling, and in it Sam is acting emotional and over-sympathetic and Dean says “you’re always saying pansy stuff like that.” Sam is once again caricatured as feminine and clingy. Dean puts a comforting hand on Sam’s shoulder and says It’s okay, and Sam’s face crumples. So in Dean’s retelling, he’s Sam’s shoulder to cry on when Sam is over emotional.

- Dean is reasoning through the connections in the cases and says the punishments are almost poetic “or actually it’d be more like a limerick” and sorry was anyone going to talk about Dean’s knowledge and interest in poetry?? I LOVE poetry but I didn’t technically know what the fuck a limerick was (so I googled it) and it’s a short poem that’s funny or silly in content. Dean is well-read. It would make SO much sense for him to be well-read because when he was younger he longed for more of a connection to the world outside of Sam and John and being locked in motel rooms, and reading would have been a good way for him to do that. He seems to enjoy fiction and characters he can relate to. It probably makes him feel less isolated.

-The brothers’ arguments this episode reveal such interesting glimpses into their life. Sam says “I don’t lose things” which would have been important as a child living out of motels trying to maintain his grades and seem normal. He probably learned as a child that he can’t just forget his things somewhere and go back to look for it later or call people he knows. If he leaves something in a motel room, that’s it, it’s gone forever, they will never go back and no one is finding and mailing it to him. I wonder if that’s also why he’s so particular about Dean not touching his stuff, because he had so little that was his. He probably got Dean’s hand-me-downs, and he had to share Dean himself with their dad which he famously hated.

Sam also says that Dean’s socks are in the sink. The only reason I can imagine for Dean’s socks being in the sink rather than just like, Dean leaving his dirty socks on the floor, is that he must’ve been washing them in the sink. Do they hand wash their clothing in motel sinks? It must be more convenient than going to a laundromat sometimes.

Sam also comments on Dean’s food going bad in the fridge. I read a whole essay on how this connects to Dean’s food insecurity, which makes sense to me. It also could be that he’s just kinda messy and doesn’t throw away his gross old food. I think Dean tends to get messier the more stressed out he is. He’s one of those people you can tell how he’s doing mentally by how his space looks— if he’s angry he’s breaking shit, stressed he’s looking worse for wear, happy he’s got everything neat and clean and starts nesting. Not to mention taking care of the Impala, his and Sam’s childhood home, is his pride and joy and one of the only mainstays in his life. His self care is very visible.

He is stressed as shit right now. Maybe eating greasy food on Sam’s bed is a cry for help and wanting Sam to talk to him about everything but not knowing how to bring it up.

-they fight over some money. It’s really something.

They are rolling around in bed grunting. Sam initiated the physicality of this fight by tackling Dean. It seems like a shared telling of what happened, and a good time to remember that the brothers have told wildly different stories and are both trying to make themselves seem as normal, cool, and under control as possible in these stories. And yet still they’re telling about the time they were rolling around and grunting in bed passionately. I’ll just leave that there.

-Sam pauses on the rush to the car with Bobby after driving a stake through the trickster’s heart. He starts apologizing to Dean, sincerity on his features, and Dean picks up on his intention and assures Sam “me too.” They gaze at each other lovingly over the roof of the Impala until Bobby interrupts and asks them to move it along.

-episode theme is perception, deception, and things not being what they appear. The trickster (Gabriel) casts illusions and the format of the narrative highlights how differently Sam and Dean can see the same story. They’re not seeing each other clearly, and they’re hiding from themselves, and it makes them lonely.

[toobusybeingdelulu]

So, we all know that Billy’s and Max’s deaths are almost identical parallels of each other.

The color blue, Lucas and Max’s reactions (her calling Billy’s name while he is being killed by the mind Flayer while Lucas is calling hers when seeing her limbs break)

This is obviously a nod to Max’s favorite song, running up that hill, specifically the line “if I only could, I would make a deal with god and I’d get him to swap our places.”, but I think these similarities could have an even greater significance plot-wise. Especially if we think about Max’s arc in season 5.

But how?

First of all, we know that before dying Billy manages to break free from the mindFlayer (and Vecna’s) control thanks to El, coming back to himself for the short amount of time that is used by him to make the decision to sacrifice himself and say “I’m sorry” to max as his last words. Many thought that him coming back to his senses in his last moments would mean that he was no longer connected to Vecna or The MindFlayer (therefore his mind dying alongside his body) but how could that be, when the same thing happened to Max?

In the first scene, before being saved by El (once again, another parallel between Max and Billy), Vecna is sucking her consciousness inside his mind, so that she becomes a part of him.

But then he is interrupted. By El. Who manages to interfere with his plans by driving him away from max. Sounds familiar?

She does the same thing with Billy, snatching him from vecna by reminding him of his mom.

Now, let’s come back to Max for a minute.

“Lucas I can’t feel or see anything… I’m scared… I’m so scared… I don’t wanna die, I’m not ready. I don’t wanna go please I don’t wanna go.”

Max is saying all of this AFTER Vecna managed to take her soul/consciousness. She is dying, just like Billy. And yet she is still aware of who Lucas is, just as Billy was aware of who Max was (once again, “I’m sorry”) right before exhaling his last breath.

Then, after this brief amount of time, Max dies. Then she is resurrected by El, but her mind is gone, as we saw. She is nowhere to be found.

And I think the same happened to Billy’s mind when he died. Vecna managed to take them both, and yet… there is a great difference between The Cali siblings and all his other victims. Which is this:

No other vecna victim was conscious right before dying. Patrick, Chrissy, Fred and Heather had never an Eleven who could help them break free from Vecna’s control.

That makes Billy and Max unfinished jobs. And that means that inside Vecna’s mind they will also have the most power, because they will not be totally controlled.

I could go on and on about how already Billy in season 4 proved this theory right, but I will limit myself to the tear and the fact that Max was not supposed to enter vecna’s sanctuary right after the Billy monologue.

“What are you doing here, Maxine?” This is what he says to her, like he is surprised to see her there.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, I just think that all these clues line up to the cali siblings beating Vecna’s ass from the inside. The only heartbreaking difference netween their fates at the end would be that Max will manage to return to her body. Billy would not, because he hasn’t gotten one. But a proper goodbye, after them teaming up against vecna, would give them both the closure they deserve.

Maybe, if all of this is true, they will get to try again.

For the last time.

In conclusion, thanks for taking the time to read this long crazy ass post, let me know if you want other theories in the future <3 I have so much fun making them, regardless of them being true in the end

[lets-try-some-writing]

I really enjoy your writing and thoughts on Cybertronian culture and wondered how you think the bots would show gestures of affection, what I mean is I feel that humans are very tactile and touch oriented but transformers may be just as much but in a far more subtle ways such as a little head pat or a stroke down the spinal strut,a gesture of complete trust and friendship or the gently brush of a EM field, I just wondered how you think the bots would do this and perhaps how they would try and communicate this to the kids. :0 I hope your well, no rush!!

A good idea! So sorry it took so long to get to it! I love culture tidbits, I am just a tad overwhelmed right now! Also I have a bad habit of hoarding requests like some dragon on a pile of gold.

Displays of Affection

Affection on Cybertron is far different than how it is for humanity. There is little need for touch to signify things due to the presence of fields and proximity sensors. The only reason for a mech to be touching another individual is to examine them for injuries or to make a point, be it good or bad. Touch is reserved for important things and thus is kept to a minimum amongst the most civilized mecha.

That is not to say that Cybertronians do not enjoy touch. No, due to the sheer number of sensors and other alerts that they are constantly swamped in, a loving touch means a great deal. However to preserve their sanity and to not be overwhelmed, touch is kept quiet and often very gentle. Between strangers, touch is nonexistent, it simply isn't a part of life. Words and EM field communication are the preferred method, and even then EM fields are very sensitive so most often they wouldn't use those either. It takes time for touch to be given, and it is always a gift, thus never being seen between those who do not know one another.

For co-workers and those bound together by circumstance, touch is still not part of life unless absolutely required. If necessary, touch is accepted with begrudging understanding between co-workers, however at most it is EM field communication that is used as a replacement if touch must be used at all. A quick flare of a field as a warning or a swift mingling to soothe a worried spark is about the limit of what is seen amongst acquaintances and wary partners. Perhaps there may be a swift tap to the shoulder plating, the least sensitive part of the body to catch the attention of a mech unable or unwilling to be aware of EM fields, but beyond that there is no other interaction.

Amongst friends touch begins to happen, but always with fields first. A gentle touch of fields to show affection and a constant soothing wavelength going back and forth to keep the other happy and content is fairly common. Shoulder touches are also something seen amongst friends since it is a sign of trust, a show that one believes the other willing to guard them. Of course touching does not go much farther than that. The shoulders are the limit die to how armored they are and how difficult it would be to cause pain through touch in that area. Even still, it is a far greater act of trust than that offered to simple co-workers.

Amica bonded get special treatment when it comes to touch. They are bound together by spark and are like siblings in all but CNA and thus know each other better. Fields mingle and share emotion in a way no others do, touches are gentle and loving, often running along back struts and along limbs in a kind manner. Words are less often used and instead replaced by the unspoken communication that comes from bonds. Soft songs are uttered in the dead of night and soft almost fearful hugs are exchanged during the darkest times. Every moment is cherished and every touch remembered.

For any sort of familial bond, be it between a caretaker and their charge or a bonded Conjunx pair, touch is common but quiet. Hugs are soft and loving but never done publicly. Quick but silent caresses of the frame along the back and face are regular and the odd servo holding is also something commonly seen. Fields eternally mingle in family units, projecting emotion, love, and projection at every moment alongside thoughts and desire. Cybertronians don't kiss as more often than not, it is simply an impossible task with their facial structure. However their equivalent emotionally is a soft touch of the helm crests, an act seen amongst all sorts of familial units and known to be the highest form of affection.

Touch is a gift, one only rarely given. While it is offered to other races freely, amongst Cybertronians, touch is something kept for deeper relationships and reasons.

[hikennosabo]

#tristampparty day 12, episode 0: high noon at july

LAST DAY OF @tristampparty ALREADY LET'S GOOOOOO

bang, bang!! nai liking movies is such a cute little detail, (it's in the manga too!!) i don't think it gets talked about enough. he went from thinking gunslinging heroes were cool to guns being a coward's weapon...

i still can't really fully wrap my head around the higher dimension... it contains the "core" of the plants and... it's where plants pull matter and energy from...? yeah i CANNOT fathom it actually

also like. how did humans even discover how plants worked and what they could do. assuming the lore is the same as in the manga (for what lore there is in the manga...) and humans created plants. who what when where why how. humans made plants and use plants every day yet they're such a black box... uuaaaaa (steam comes out of my ears from thinking too hard)

zazie's priority lies with the planet itself and whether or not worms will be able to continue to live and thrive on it, but i wish we got to see more of what the worms need to like. actually live and survive. they have a hivemind so they can't truly "die" (i guess unless every single worm is wiped out), but what do they need to live? we see that the giant worms eat humans, but what did they eat before humans crashed on the planet? tomas? other worms? do they photosynthesize? do they need to breathe? humans use worms for food and resources, but what exactly would knives have do to the planet to make it unlivable for the worms?

the song that vash sings is... the song knives plays on his piano. in the original/98, the song that was important to vash was rem's song. here, that... may or may not be the case...? vash says the song "just comes to him," but in this scene he's forgotten rem... then again, the song isn't what helps him remember her.

there was a theory post from a while ago that posited this song is the voice, or... frequency of the plants(?) which could very well be the case. vash and knives taking that frequency and singing or playing it in a way humans can hear... rem was onto something when she called them a bridge.

i wonder how much of this scene is an actual memory. maybe vash did sing that song, and nai heard it, and they played it on the piano together. and that's why knives continues to play it in the present day.

maybe i'll go eat some rocks.

this is reminding me of... in the manga when vash escaped from the ark and knives was begging him not to go. it's... yeah, pretty much the same. different scenario, but the same.

this sequence is so gorgeous... once again i'm asking how people ever thought this anime looked bad. lmao.

BUT MY MAIN QUESTION IS THIS!!! IS THIS REALLY REM SPEAKING TO VASH HERE? we know that in trimax, ghosts kind of exist, right? like tesla appearing to the twins, wolfwood appearing to livio... is this a similar case? what's happening on the "outside" is meryl's voice reaching through to vash, right? so is this more like, meryl's presence reminds vash of rem, so this is what vash wishes he could hear from her? like is this coming from his subconscious? or... is it really the spirit of rem somehow...

i'm overthinking it. i'm overthinking it.

i wonder what rem's ghost would say to knives.

i'm obsessed with the fight that comes after. OBSESSED. screencaps don't do it justice, i love the weightiness, the camerawork, the choreography... IT'S JUST FUN TO WATCH!!!!

THE BITE HAS BEEN POSTED SO MANY TIMES BUT I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S SO FUNNY. outside of when they were kids, this is the most they've acted like siblings this whole show and i love it.

why are his boobs so big

and then there's the wings. the wings... and their context. manga readers know. they're a symbol of, hmm... not forgiveness, but... the first step to it, maybe. the love between them. flying to safety. supporting each other. being side-by-side. right?

they're using their wings to fight each other right now, so i'm sure the plan is to hit us with the wings again at the end for maximum emotional impact. the fact that they both have one wing each makes that extremely fucking obvious, i think. (remember in the manga vash sprouted 2 wings at first, which he couldn't sustain)

I JUST LOVE THIS SHOT. IT'S SO COOL.

oh. ohhhhhhh.

it's so interesting that the angel arm comes from vash combining(?) the cube with his gun... does this mean angel arms can't manifest normally? like, do you need the cube? or does the cube just make it easier? and what about knives, can he manifest his?? like this can't be the one and only appearance of the angel arm in tristamp, right, we're gonna need it again for the fifth moon and the ark escape, right??

(assuming those events will even happen in tristamp, but fifth moon AT LEAST is like. a constant in all timelines, i feel. like how time travel stories have "nodes" that can't be changed, right? but this isn't actually that kind of story. so who knows.)

...huuuuhhhh and i just noticed vash's prosthetic arm disappears when he manifests the angel arm. umm... i'm not entire sure what that means. is it because his gate was in his left arm...?

hey where'd she get those binoculars

crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch (i'm chewing on rocks)

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH

"since when have we been so different"... kills me in so many ways, but... in episode 3 vash says that knives hasn't changed. ("since that time," he says, which i assume is referring to the flashback scene in episode 9.) and knives says right back at you. but here, vash is basically saying, who are you. you're unrecognizable to me now. that's literally what he says in the dub. and again knives says right back at you. "you haven't changed." "i could say the same of you." "who are you?" "who are you?" they're brothers. they haven't changed. they've changed so much. they know each other better than anyone else. they don't recognize each other anymore. they love each other. did they ever really know each other?

crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch.

when i first watched tristamp the significance of this all was lost on me. i didn't know any context.

i didn't know that the original trigun started with july already destroyed. i didn't know vash's original bounty. i didn't catch the insurance department mention, or who eriks was, or chronica, or what it meant that the earth fleet was going to arrive, or this being numbered "episode 0"... nothing. all of it went completely over my head. oh i knew milly though. milly is forever.

but now i'm people who know. and i think orange's decision to adapt the story like this, to make it a prequel... is fucking ballsy and cool and i respect it.

that being said, i still don't understand what zazie is talking about... and how they know this. i don't understand all the scifi technobabble with chronica at the end either... what i'm assuming is that the earth forces are keeping tabs on the higher plane(??) and/or on gate readings(?) and... were alerted to what was going on that way? does "crossing over the wall of light" just mean they're using warp drive? why can't zazie talk normally.

uagh. what a fucking journey, man, and it hasn't even begun yet. glad i got to rewatch and go a little crazy. i think the fixation is beginning to fade a little bit (it's been long enough, this is how my brain cycles through things) but the brainrot never truly goes away. girl with plant twins icon gets emotional about the plant twins once again, more at 11.

ty to @revenantghost for organizing i had fun!! :'D

[aralana765]

Listening to OUaTiS again, and once again I am reminded of just how well Nastya is able to play Jonny like her viola. The convo in The Aurora Strikes starts with Jonny already upset, and she continues to tell him things that upset him, and yet he still ends up happy. Because she knows exactly how to tell him. So we start with:

N: We’re not going to argue about this. (Fact)

J: I don’t understand it, Nastya. We’ve been watching billions die for the last three decades, and we’ve been having a great time! (Defensive, doesn’t want to give up his comfy spot)

N: I know, I know. (Placating, not fighting, just like she said, letting him say his piece)

J: And now you want to go white knight over a science project with a broken snooze button? I don’t buy it. (Here I have a theory that he breaks out “white knight accidentally cause he likes being the white knight [though he would never admit it, even tho Nastya knows], and he knows that’s not Nastya’s thing at all)

N: W-well, you see, Jonny, that is because I have not been telling you the whole story! (A story! There’s a story, Jonny! We have a story here! A sure way to catch his attention) It is, uh, not actually me who is complaining. It is, uh, Aurora. Our starship. (You could argue with me, Jonny, but would you argue with the ship herself?)

J: Fuck the ship! (Fuck you, you know I wouldn’t dare)

N: I do. (Sibling moment here, also something to distract Jonny from his clinging to anger)

J: Ew! (It worked)

N: Anyway, Jonny, I am merely informing you out of courtesy, uh. You see, I’ve already told Brian to lay in the coordinates. (I told you we’re not arguing. The ship wants to go. We’re going. BUT what’s crucial here is that she keeps her tone very light, never confrontational. She’s just passing along the message)

J: Brian! That insubordinate piece of brass! (Only angry at Brian, maybe Aurora, but not Nastya, who was only passing along the message)

N: Yes, yes, I know, and we are on our way. (Very placating, very ‘I’m just updating the captain’ instead of ‘I fully hijacked the ship and crew’)

J: …well. I suppose that there’s no real danger… (I am fully in love that he actually does take the crew/ship’s safety into consideration here considering who they are. But also, here’s where he starts sliding down the slope Nastya prepared for him)

N: No there isn’t. (Confirming, gently leaning in)

J: For the ship or us. (Thinks of Aurora first, the non immortal crew member. Doesn’t have anything to do with my point. I just love that)

N: No… (letting him ease himself down the path she made)

J: And it has been a while since we’ve had any really good violence. (There’s a story here. Nastya brought up a story, this could make for a very good story)

N: It has indeed. (Says Nastya, who’s solution was to kiss the princess, and mock the idea of violence to computers)

J: Alright. [audible smirk] Let’s go.

Anyway, I know this post is a million years long since I put in the whole scene transcript + my notes, but I can’t listen to that part without imagining Nastya and Aurora having a conversation in the hall outside Jonny’s room being like “I know, I’ll just play it cool, not argue, keep his hackles from going up” and “ooh yes, good idea, make it sound like it’ll be good for a song, I love it” and “oh yeah, go tell Brian where we’re going so I can tell Jonny we’re already on the way. How is he gonna stop us? Is he gonna fight you, the ship??’

Anyway, I love these space pirate siblings who know each other so well they can have each other wrapped around their fingers when they need to

[coffeebooksrain18]

matchup trade with @daemontargaryennn

I match you with...Daemon Targaryen!

HEADCANONS

The night you two confess your feelings is one of drunken stupor and slurred words. In the morning you wake up on the floor and look over and see Daemon asleep at the table, a wine glass barely hanging from his fingers. Once you both wake up you stare at each other trying to figure out if the other remembers until you both blurt out “I LOVE YOU!” you two stare at each other for a second before laughing as you both had never felt so nervous before in your lives as your both confident and charming individuals, but it appears when it comes to love you both are tongue tied idiots,

You and Daemon only really argue when it comes to who is carrying the bags/things, for you’re both the people, everyone turns to to hold or carry things so it’s quite tough to give that up when you're so accustomed to it. I will admit that Darmon usually wins these arguments, not with word but by just running off with the bags having you chase after him yelling at him in Dothraki (a language you learned when you were twelve out of pure curiosity).

When you get the zooms (as Daemon loves to call them) he suggests a fly, or more a dragon race. He knows you want to feel the adrenaline and let all this energy out, so you two fly for as long as you need (often times more) till you feel content again.

Speaking of dragons, you love to tease Daemon that his dragon is seen as weird or strange looking (even though you love Caraxes and his strange little legs and long neck) while yours is said to be the most beautiful in the known and possibly unknown world. He always fires back with “yours may be pretty, but mines a formidable beast known for his prowess in war.” which only makes you chuckle as you know he truly doesn’t care that yours is seen as “prettier” for Caraxes is all he’s ever dreamed of in a dragon.

HOUSE

You're from house Martell the eldest of 2, it’s actually because of your younger sibling that you met Daemon, for your families were looking for a match that would put aside your families quarrels. But instead of your sibling catching his eyes it was you (and let’s just say Artificial insemination was a thing as well as Gay marriage was aloud). because of this your families decided it would be best if you two were the match instead. Your sibling didn’t mind as they had someone who had stolen their heart back at Dorne.

DRAGON

I give you Sunfyre. I know, I know “but isn’t he Aegons”  I cannot put into words how perfect he is for you so fuck Aegon he can find another. He's gorgeous, young, playful, loyal, and kind. JUST LIKE YOU! The day you claimed him was quite interesting actually, for you were visiting the Dragonpits at the request of the King (most likely to scare you a bit) but as you were down there you felt a tug on your chest right where you were taught your soul was. As you walked closer you saw a great golden beast staring at you almost as if saying “I’ve been waiting for you my whole life.” and when you touched his snout he started to jump around his little cave excited he found his rider.

SHIP SONG

The devil and I by saop&skin

I like the way you kiss me by Artemas

SHIP TROPES

Hurt them and you die (Daemon) x take a chill pill (You)

Idiot always getting hurt (Daemon) x personal nurse (You)

Too much energy (You) x No energy (Daemon)

OTHER RELATIONSHIPS

Viserys Targaryen

Viserys has no idea your disdain for him, the way he forces his dear wife through pregnancy, after pregnancy only for her to die and marry a girl of only fourteen disgusts you. But you keep an overly large smile and laugh at all his awful jokes, for you know Daemon could not make it if he had to choose between you and his brother. You know he’d pick you, but you also know he loves his brother and you do not wish for him to feel that guilt of leaving his blood behind. But that does not mean you don’t make off handed comments to Viserys about how awful of a king, brother or father he is.

Alicent Hightower

You had always felt protective of Alicent for reasons you never understood. So much so that by the time Daeron was born you had figured out how to make moontea for her so she’d never have to worry of another pregnancy again.  

Helaena Targaryen

You and Helaena support each other through your guys' episodes, her with her dragon dreams and you with schizophrenia. When yours happens Daemon doesn’t know how to help much so he turned to the little girl that seemed to be going through the same thing as you. Now you and Helaena know each other so well you can tell when the other is about to have a episode before it happens.   

Rhaenyra Targaryen

You and Rhaenyra have this love-hate relationship, love for your both extroverts that love to be around people, and hate for you both are quite talkative and seem to talk over each other often. Many find it funny as it’s such a small reason but it’s reason enough to a child and if she wants to be rude you’ll throw it right back.

Laenor Velaryon 

You helped Laenor come out. You were the first person he told (other than Joffery), and he wanted help figuring out how and when to tell his family and the realm. So you helped him come up with a speech for his parents and a feast for him to declare who he is to the realm.  It didn’t  surprise you that many didn’t like that he was gay as gay marriage had only recently been legalized, but you were proud none the less for that braveboy showing his truth.

[ravenflorals]

Hello again Jackie! I loved what you wrote for the song prompt so much that if you have time and headspace for it, I would love to request prompt number 10 from the “Smut prompt list no. 3” that you reblogged a few days ago. Thank you if you decide to write this ♥️

From 27C, With Love

Rating: explicit

word count: 1484

Relationship: Hermione Granger / Draco Malfoy

Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy

Excerpt: Bringing her legs onto the couch she parts her legs. Giving him a full view of where she’s about to be touching. “Remember … no touch.” She says and slips her sleep shorts down her legs. Kicking them off to the side. Now all that remained was a Hogwarts Alumni sweatshirt and her light blue knickers. They weren’t sexy, but the way his breath bitches lets her know he thinks they’re something

Authors note: whenever I get a notification from you it genuinely makes my day. Thank you so much for being so warm and welcoming to me as I refind my way in this community.

Apartment 27C was good to her. The apartment was an unbearable shade of orange when she moved in, but hours of painting made that easy enough. The air conditioner always made her feel like she was in Antarctica. But piles of blankets given to her for housewarming helped that. The walk to work wasn’t bad. Thirty at most … twenty if she got through traffic at a decent rate. But this new place. The flooring was modern, and it was not only close to her job but also to her friends.

Friends like Draco Malfoy who handed her items from her junk drawer. He had been helping her pack, each box designed for a different category. It also gave him room to ask questions on the use of different items. “That’s a Snowglobe! No, it’s not real snow.” She had said regarding one item. “Oh, that’s a Rubix cube.” She said about a different item from the drawer. He had the curiosity and sense of wonder of a crow, it was endearing to hear him want to learn. Muggle Studies lessons started with them in eighth year and somehow continued even now. After a moment everything was a little too quiet. As if her friend had found something particularly interesting to him.

“Granger. What’s this?” Finally, she hears his voice again. Looking up immediately she was mortified. In his hands rests her trusty vibrator. The same one she had lost weeks before after she threw it in a drawer. For some time she forgot she had even owned it. The toy hardly had been used as it was ——— it was a dingy little thing. Barely enough motor in it to get her off. Yet he stood there looking like it was the most fascinating thing.

All she knew was her vibrator not only was in Draco’s hand. But he was trying to figure out how to turn it on. Her stomach did flips as she reached a hand out for it. “Malfoy. Hand it over.”

He pretends to think, holding it further out of her way. “I don’t think so. What is this?” He asks, clicking the power button on and then back off. “How bizarre.”

She was about ready to fling herself, or him. OR BOTH into the sun. “Please give it back.” She begs, standing up and crossing over the room to him. “I can promise you don’t need to learn about this.” She stands to walk towards him. Reaching for the toy he keeps it out of reach ever so slightly. With a wolfish grin, she knows he can tell that she’s flustered. Though flustered wasn’t the right word.

The right word seemed to be ready to explode and die from embarrassment. “Your face has the same color as the Weasley sibling hair. I definitely need to know” he says a perfect brow raised. “You can tell me. We’re friends.” He says and she can’t tell him that them being friends is the whole reason she can’t tell him. There have been times he’s been flirty with her in the past. Other times where he just acts like she’s anyone else. It’s been impossible to know where she stands with him.

Sighing. Hermione chooses to swallow her pride. “If I tell you will you please just drop it.” She was more than ready for this all to be over. She was ready to move countries and never be seen again. “That… is used for my personal pleasure.” She says closing her eyes to focus on anything but the person in front of her.

“Like … a sex toy?” He asked and she nodded to answer his question. Glancing at her “How does it work? Be a dear and show me.” He says sternly.

Furrowing her brows she crossed her arms. “What do you mean show you?” He must have been insane if he thought she was going to get herself off in front of him. She must have been insane if she enjoyed the idea of him seeing her in that position.

“Show me how it works. I think it requires a demonstration like the toaster did.” Of course, he had to bring up her habits for teaching… “What do you call it? Hands-on learning.”

“I’m not touching myself with you here!” She defends, completely aghast at the idea.

He’s always known how to push her buttons. But he’s also been good at giving her choices —— something he didn’t have much of growing up. “Please. Hermione.” He uses her given name and chills go down her spine. “I won’t touch. It just - it looks fascinating.” All she could think was what would happen if she got herself worked up and wanted his touch. It wasn’t like he wanted her in that way. Right?

Taking Draco’s empty hand in hers Hermione walks them to the couch. As he sits she takes the toy from his grasp. Sitting on the other end. Bringing her legs onto the couch she parts her legs. Giving him a full view of where she’s about to be touching. “Remember … no touch.” She says and slips her sleep shorts down her legs. Kicking them off to the side. Now all that remained was a Hogwarts Alumni sweatshirt and her light blue knickers. They weren’t sexy, but the way his breath bitches lets her know he thinks they’re something. She turns on the toy, “I always start above the panties.” She says letting it hit against her clothed cunt. Between rubs of the toy, she slides her fingers into her knickers to gather moisture.

“Then I move … oh god. I move under them.” She slides her knickers to one side. Exposing her now wet core. She’s practically throbbing at the mixture of the vibrator and the sight of her friend looking visibly turned on. He’s watching intently. Her best student she thinks as she watches his hand slip under his pants. Unzipping them and —— He’s hard… this is evident. He’s aroused enough to be touching himself in front of her which sends her brain spiraling.

Both seem to dare one another — who’s going to make a move first? Hermione feels brave, putting her Gryffindor's courage to use she stretches out a foot. Resting it on top of the bulge. He inhales sharply “What happened to no touching.” A breathless chuckle gets breathed into the air.

A smirk rises through her face as she starts to sit up a little straighter. “I think I deserve a little touch.” She defends and watches as his eyes focus on the vibrator, he takes his unoccupied hand and yanks the vibrator. Forgetting to turn it off, it clatters and the batteries pop out. “I wasn’t done.” She whines. Feeling his fingers play with the band of her knickers.

“Good. Because I shouldn’t be jealous over a toy.” He says looking at her with a frenzy and a feral expression. “It had its fun… my turn. Granger if you don’t want this —— tell me. Please.” He pleads and Hermione’s expression is just as feral .

Three words and one action of pulling her knickers fully off. “Fuck me Malfoy.” And he’s moving on top of her. Straddling her as his fingers move to her clit. He swallows each of her moans, whimpers, or cries with his mouth. Kissing her deeply and with as much passion as he can offer. Between kisses he strips his bottoms off fully, next is his shirt as it lands in the pile with hers. Hermione’s hoodie is next. Falling to the floor and leaving her completely naked under him. As he kisses, sucks, and bites wherever he can reach she thinks she must be dreaming.

“Pull him out for me?” He murmurs against her neck, and she lets her hands wander under his silk boxers. He felt big. He felt like he was going to split her in half and with all the teasing they’d both been doing, she’d welcome it. His boxers are to his ankles as he lines up with her core. Teasing her once … then twice with the tip of his cock. The third stroke has her whimpering,

She needs him. Needs to feel him. “Draco, please.” She moans out. Their foreheads meet as he enters her. Slowly and then with more force. A cry bursts through “move again.” She tells him and he does so. Hermione getting settled with his size as he pounds into her. His hand continues to circle her clit lazily as he pounds. Over and over. Hermione swears she’s never felt so full. Both physically and emotionally.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” He says, and that phrase of praise is enough to get her to fall apart completely. Pulsing around his cock.

As she helps him through his own orgasm, she thinks of the apartment. Looks like 27C had another few good memories for her…

[slytherinshalo]

𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐑: 𝐆𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

this is gonna be a series so part I

ME AND TOM RIDDLE JR

A Malfoy and a Riddle who would have thought, apparently our fucking parents, siblings and friends. Anyways, we’re best friends, each other’s safe space, I understand stand him and he understands me. He’s going to become the new leader of the knights of walpurgis once we leave hogwarts.

A few facts about tom:

He’s introverted and has asocial/antisocial behaviors which everyone outside of our friends and families thinks he’s this evil person when really he’s not and just doesn’t operate like others.

I don’t know how I did it but I got him to listen to Ethel Cain, so now every now and then he’ll just quote Family tree(intro), and it’s like oh what have I done 😭

He’s so affectionate with me like he’ll give me random kisses before he leaves to do something or like he gives me hugs and it’s just so cute.

Him and Mattheo actually are pretty close and they are protective of each other.

Tom has a pet snake (not the basilisk)

Facts about me:

I have ADHD, and social anxiety, (i also have it in my cr) but like just like tom is obsessed with me (in a healthy way), i’m the same way.

I bite as it’s one of my love languages, which some people think it’s weird.

I do ballet, and pole dancing which the pole dancing makes people think that I’m bringing shame to my family but they don’t care.

I’m younger than draco by a few months he was born in June and I was born in September, we’re both premature, which being the younger twin draco loves to rub it in my face.

I’m a natural at wandless magic, occlumency, Legillimency, and I’m a parsalmouth.

I have two pet snakes that can turn into jewelry.

The aesthetic:

Songs that remind me of us:

[soyhasmcaamp]

I have been listening to "Servant of evil" a bit lately and I've thought about a little base for a velvet and vox twins/siblings AU. I still need to work on it but it might be my most thought out AU do far (that I've actually openly shared).

Vox canonically died in like the 1950's and we don't really know velvets death date, but I've seen someone say that she probably died around the 2000's or 2010's ish. In this AU they were born in the 1940's and died around the late 2000's early 2010's.

They were born in London to an almost-famous couple, a fashion model mother who later also started blogging her modeling journey on the internet and a tv host and sometimes-part-time-actor father.

Sometime in the later 1980's their father wanted them all to move to America, but the mother was strongly against it, since she had build her entire career in London and wasn't about to give it up at it's peak. They had a big argument that ended in a divorce and split custody over vox and vel. Vel stayed with their mother and vox went with their father to America. Vox and Vel still kept In contact and send each other messages and kept each other updated on what their parents were doing. Both of them later got into their respective parents' jobs, velvet becoming a fashion model and designer and vox a known tv host. Though their ways kinda parted when they became adults, they still texted from Time to time and vox followed velvets blog about her life as a model and designer, and velvet watched vox's shows whenever she could.

(I don't have much of an idea as to how they both would die in this AU, but i think it would be funny to make them die in a similar way. Like, a light on set falling on vox and a light on stage falling on velvet, both during a show. I think I wanna make vox die a few years before velvet, maybe 5 or so years before her. )

After they both die and find each other again, not recognizing each other at first but then quickly connecting the dots of their behavior and appearance, they both start to climb up the ranks to become overlords, later together with val which vel only tolerates because he makes vox happy after the old ass radio fucker went and broke his heart and because she's a good twin sister, but they never reveal their relationship as siblings to anyone, not even val. They know that hell is cruel and any kind of affection will be used against you in some way, so they keep it a secret. Not really hard considering their bickering and insulting each other which, from afar, makes it seem like they barely tolerate each other. That couldn't be farther from the truth though, they'd both happily risk their life to protect the other from harm.

The AU itself doesn't have much to do with the song but I imagine Vox's love for vel in this to be just as strong as lens love for Rin is in this song. And the song makes me wish for so much more vox and vel content in s2, i need to see their relationship up close. They have such power duo potential and I hope it won't be wasted.

[iunpackmyadjectives]

A Ninjago Heathers AU Idea

I adore Heathers with my whole soul(candy store, meant to be yours, dead girl walking and seventeen all ended up on my top songs of 2023 playlist for context), and I love ninjago with my whole soul(70k words of fics in my Google docs, so many hours spent reading and drawing for it, and multiple cosplays), so naturally I want to combine them. But I(probably)don’t have the patience for writing all that, so the skeleton of it is landing here

Cast:

Veronica: Lloyd

JD: Harumi(but like she’s the perfect JD change my mind)

H. Chandler: Kai

H. Duke: Cole

H. McNamara: Jay

Kurt and Ram: Nya and Skylor

Martha: Brad Tudabone

Ms Fleming: Dareth(it just…I don’t think I need to explain it)

Notes:

If you can’t tell, the whole thing is gender bent. tinylifeboat123 has a lovely gender bent Heathers au I used for inspiration/reference 

And to clarify it’s still set in 1989

Okay but Kai definitely gives Heather Chandler. Like he would be popular, a mythic bitch, and sing lead in candy store

Similarly, I think Jay would make a great Heather MacNamera. Also, this would be a Gordon situation, as he is loaded because his dad’s an actor

Look, Llorumi isn’t a popular or generally liked ship(for good reason, I don’t ship them at all when it comes to canon), but idk to me they fit for Veronica and JD??? Like, especially Rumi being JD? She already blew up a building and murdered people in canon

Give me big fun at the Smith house please

Dead Girl Walking would play out differently specifically because I hc Lloyd as hella ace. It still ends in him and Rumi becoming official, but no sex

Blue would also play out differently since Nya is taken(yes by Jay) and Skylor just had her bf(?) die. They would try to convince him to do stuff with a girl(probably Akita but it doesn’t really matter), and when he refuses they spread a rumor that he said no because he’s gay. Cue Rumi using an uno reverse card in Our Love is God(idk maybe a mention about how they both are queer but the world doesn’t love them for who they are and people saying stuff like that are the problem?)

Dead Gay Son could go whatever way you want, but I would probably have it be about scruffshipping(Dareth/Ronin) because I hc Ronin as becoming Nya’s functional uncle post season 5

The dead trio would have a lot more dynamics with each other, considering there’s a pair of best friends, a couple(?), and a pair of siblings(something something Kai and Nya could have been the older siblings Lloyd never had something something)

I definitely could see Dareth leading shine a light. Seems like a very in-character thing for him to do.

Give me Jay having a breakdown over how he rides the bus because all his rides to school are dead. Give me Jay singing lifeboat. Give me Lloyd stopping Jay from doing that one thing in the bathroom. I need it. I NEED it.

The kindergarten boyfriend was Lloyd. He didn’t die, but he has so strongly left Brad behind that in his eyes he might as well have. This also makes the line “I’m so sorry” sooo much worse

Is 90% of this au just for the last 5 songs? Absolutely. They just fit the Llorumi dynamic. Like Lloyd realizes that she is crazy and her being stopped is far more than their relationship being saved. Does Lloyd wish they could have work out? Yes. Does he still try to save her until the very last second? Yes. Is there remorse from both parties? Yes. But in the end she's “beaten fair and square” and dies, and there isn’t a shoved in rushed redemption arc I’m looking at you Crystalized you butchered my girl.

Greenflower in beautiful(reprise)? Maybe a kiss???

[cassiesdaydreams]

💛⚠️SPOILER ALERT FOR FABLE SMP⚠️💛

Hello! I’m Cassie and I go through a lot of name crises! I was up at 1 am on my Snapchat stories picking each fable characters, including Fable and Isla’s Taylor Swift(The Tortured Poets Department)’s song! Some may not line up with the said characters or their arcs but this is just what I thought for each character. (I promise I’m just a fan and not a die hard swiftie.) As of 7/23/24 I have officially left the fable fandom to move on to other things, loved the time here.

As of now, i wont be supporting Taylor Swift. Thank you and goodnight

•Rae

In my ever so humble opinion, I thought Rae could have been the song Cassandra, all because “So *they* killed Cassandra first, cause she feared the worst” but if you remember in season 3, when Icarus threw the sculk bottle at Rae (I can’t remember the name of the episode) They could have killed him(Rae) and obviously Rae and Icarus being brothers and all, of course he’s gonna worry about him (Icarus). Really, the song Cassandra is about the Greek myth but like.. that’s irrelevant.

•Violet/Centross

When I started this I remembered how Centross was in the little “cell” under (I’ll say the name in which the season permits so s3 is Icarus and 1&2 is Sherbert) Sherbert’s house in season 2. As soon as I realized that, I said “Fresh Out The Slammer” because jail is also called a “slammer.” So “Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to.” In my mind I thought it meant “I’m out and i know where to go.” But it was one am and I didn’t get far with this one.

•Athena

I said that Athena was “I Can Do It With A Broken Heart” because of one line. “Im a real tough kid, I can handle my sh*t, they said babe you gotta fake it till you make it and I did.” It’s. So. Season. One. Coated. Sherb gaslighting Athena coded.

•Ven

I said Ven was “So High School” because Wet birds frfr. In the wise words of my cousin “Truth, Dare, Spin Bottles, you know how to stab Fable and I know Aristotle.” Of course, season 3, Icarus stabs Fable at the end, and Ven’s a writer (his elytra is book wings and that’s so cool)

•Icarus

Icarus is just “The Alchemy” because 1.) They’re an alchemist and 2.) Him and Ven. This song is just wetbirds coated “Cause the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me honestly who are we to fight the alchemy?” Also this kind of connects me to season one at the end of corruption because of “What if I told you I’m back?” And the resets by “This happens once every few lifetimes” representing when Fable would rip a page out to save them from death. Need I say more?

•Wolf

Listen when I was putting this together, my cousin never watched Fable but she said “Fortnight” for Wolf and I thought oh damn, this could be real coated honestly but like honestly “I love you it’s ruining my life” is kinda coated to me

•Ocie

Ocie is just straight up “The Albatross” because this girl is just like “Cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you, she’s the albatross, she is here to destroy you.” With Ocie being able to control the ocean, she could be the one “here to destroy you” the “terrible danger” the “death you chose.”

•Momboo

Okay so yall remember season one when she went to the prison to try and help Sherbert become uncorrupted? Yeah they just said “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) and I don’t have a lot more to say about this.

Another thing about Momboo is that she can connect to Ocie cause sisters supremacy. But, there’s a line in The Albatross that says “Wise men once said one bad seed kills the garden” and it’s just so neat to me

•Fable

Fable I hate you a lot guys this is the worst dad like ever. He’s “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived” because he definitely is. First he kills his siblings and literally doesn’t care for his stepson like please we get it icarus is biological and you don’t like Rae cause Enderian is a part of him but like for real. Then you try and KILL YOUR OWN KID??? like please. Give him the worst dad who ever lived award.

•Isla

Aw look it’s mother!! I highly believe that if she could she would name her kids “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus” but she wanted to remember her dad, for Rae. And Fable definitely named Icarus, but I can’t help but headcanon it

•Haley

Everytime I think of Haley, I only have season one to turn to for instances. I always think of the way she was a traveler, and how she left her home to find somewhere new. So I always think of “So Long, London” not meaning a lover/person like the song is talking about, but talking about the place she loved.

•Arisanna

I thought long and hard about what could be a thing about Arisanna, and I came up with Clara Bow, showing that she is the reflection of Soraza “you look like Clara Bow in this light, remarkable.” And how Soraza looks like who came before her, and who came before said other.

•Will

I was trying to figure out Will and I said “thanK you aIMee” because it’s like Will saying f^ck you to Fable for hurting his homeland. Hurting his culture and messing it up. Once again, it was like 1:30 here and I just was going through the stages of tired.

•Addie

I said Addie was “The Bolter” because she was reclusive but I also didn’t know much about her. She has a very pretty character design even though I don’t like spiders. (also the bolter is just a good song)

•Aax

is just “How Did It End?” Coated to me and honestly I have no reason for it. I honestly have no reason for a bit of this but maybe how did it end? was for him and Theo? I know we don’t know a lot about him so I’m headcanoning that. But I’m not sure haha

•Caspian

I think I said “The Prophecy” for Caspian because of him being trapped in the end prison and also looking for someone who he loved. Especially for the line “Please I’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy” being in jail being the prophecy, “…don’t want money, just someone who wants my company” meaning he wants someone who knows they’d want him around.

•Ulysses

I said “Peter” because I think when it comes to medical things, he’s the leader. So “forgive me Peter, my lost fearless leader” but honestly this song just makes me ramble on and on and on to be honest so I’ll stop the drabble about “Peter” here haha

•Jamie

For Jamie I said “Robin” because obviously, Jamie is a bear (and I find that cool actually no one knows) also the lines that say “You got the dragonflies above your bed, you have a favorite spot on the swing set, you have no room in your dreams for regrets” just makes me think of childhood innocence between him and Easton.

•Easton

I seen Easton as “I Hate It Here” with everything that went on between Sherbert and Momboo (Season 3, glitched death) so they would be like “I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind” which is honestly coated and I can’t pinpoint why.

•Galahad

I see Galahad as “Florida!!!” And I don’t know why. I kinda just see them as someone who wants to escape from their troubles. They want to get away but not in the sense Easton wants to. He’s tired of the fighting. They’re tired of Fable and the wars.

•Seven

Seven is just “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys” because he’s a robot and as I see it, better off powered down permanently and broken down.

•The Whole Fable Cast

Honestly, this has been such an rollercoaster for me with figuring everything out about quixian and lore after missing a stream or two after being at an amusement park. Thank you for the best 3 years! Because every story has a manuscript, the song for the whole cast is “The Manuscript.”

Now all thats left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then we reread the manuscript, but the story isn’t ours anymore

The manuscript could be the vods by the way.

[mayrine]

Since I don’t have anyone irl to brainrot to about qsmp I’m writing it here  SO here are my qsmp headcanons that have little to no proof  at all !!!  btw every time i quote something just know that it is from the qsmp wiki

Because Trump was very good at math and Leo wasn't, he would help her with homework (they were also best friends)

Since Trump was very shy, Leo would have to drag him to play with the other eggs but she and trump would often take brakes during playtime when trump felt overwhelmed and Leo would stay with him until he calmed down

Both Trump and Bobby are very round, almost spherical

The reason Fit spoils Ramon so much is because he is sorry for letting him die and now that he has one life left, Fit wants his son to have the best life possible even tho this is making Ramon kinda snobbish

Ramon is lazy because he is scared of going outside. He would rather sleep and stay inside then risk dyeing again. The reason he began going outside besides making his dad less worried is because of  Dapper and Chayanne. But after the kidnaping he is worse then ever. Being scared to even leave his room if fit isn't besides him Because of this, Ramon and Dapper are working on a construction so they can communicate even when they're apart. Chayanne tries to help but, because he doesn't know anything about redstone, he mostly stand to the side and tries not to brake anything

Dapper was a bigger and taller egg then Leo and he would make fun of her for being little. But after hatching, Leo got his dads godly height and is now much taller then dapper and is CONSTANTLY making fun of them

Since Leonarda is dyslexic(and trump can't help them anymore) she has Dapper help her with homework and insist on paying him even tho he told her multiple times that it isn't necessary. In the end Dapper accepts the money but later he gives it to Foolish

Chayanne wants to be like his brother Techno so he dies his hair pink and often tries to talk to the other kind about anarchy before quickly getting stopped by the adults. He is very attached to all the eggs and sees them as his siblings and would do anything to protect them

Richarlyson and Bobby often get into fights before Chayanne has to break them up. After the initial rocky start to their friendship, they became good friend but still keep up a fake rivalry, but the truth is that they deeply care and admire each other. When they fight, the other eggs bet on who would be the winner with Ramon and Leo being the ones that bets the most Richarlyson is the "baby" of the group and he likes that Bobby doesn't treat him like a little kid

Tallulah, just like Chayanne, cares deeply about family. She tries to find out more about Willburs history, but is met with vague answers  that don't satisfy her. She tries to learn as much about the other eggs as possible, even the ones that aren't here anymore and tries to honor them as much as she can. The reason Tallulah beanie red is because she learn that Tilins ribbon was red and wanted to make Quackity a little happier Her taste buds are fucked up because she ate dirt for so long so now she can't taste things She also writes songs about the other eggs

Tilins always wears her ribbon, resulting in it getting very dirty very fast but she still refused to take it down. Quackity has to steal it while she sleeps in order to wash it. But he also has a drawer full of identical red ribbons in case the one that she is currently wearing gets desrtoyed

Flippa is the most extroverted out of the eggs and is always daring the egg to to dangerous things. When Quackity would leave Tilin alone, Flippa would be there to comfort her because she understood what it felt like to not have your parents pay attention to you Slime and Mariana would often fight and would leave the house to cool down, leaving Flippa alone She was the elder queer of the eggs and would help them navigate there gender identity and helping them to come out

ALL of the eggs have autism. Their specials interests being: Tilin - guns, fashion Juanaflippa - bombs, gymnastics Leonarda - photography, building Dapper - reading, animals, collecting stuff Tallulah - music, history Chayanne - combat, potatoes Bobby - combat, painting Richalyson - football      Trump - politics, weapons  Ramon - animals, redstone

The eggs draw on their shells

[darkeriddle]

Ravaged hearts

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Joel has been denying his feelings for you but when you reunite with your old lover in Jackson, he finally breaks down

Warning: Swearing, angst, tears, sad Joel

Word count: 3.8k

Author's note: I love to make myself sad and I hope I ruined your day with this

also why did my gif become 240p when I rendered it from an HD clip, shite

You were never good with words. You've seen too many horrible things to be the same confident and open person you used to be before the world fell apart.

Not only losing your family but seeing your friends die in such ugly ways, you saw no purpose in life anymore. You were the opposite of friendly and helpful.

Which was why Joel Miller didn't trust you when he'd first met you. You were looking for Bill and Frank, worried and stressed ever since you heard an 80s song playing on the radio, just when he made it to town with Ellie.

You heard Bill mentioning Joel once when you two were talking about the security of his home. He mentioned that Frank brought people there to form a partnership which Bill hated but eventually accepted after a long time.

If it weren't for Ellie, you wouldn't have joined them. All you wanted was to isolate yourself and grieve your friends but it was hard to say no to the teen girl whose honesty and lingering gaze that sparkled with hope made you say yes.

Despite seeing you getting along with Ellie, Joel always kept an eye on you, never trusting you fully. Eventually, it took him days to tell you that the girl was immune to the cordyceps, explaining everything that led them to Bill's town.

Many things happened in half a year. You lost count of how many times Joel saved you and you never let him down in returning the favor if he needed help.

Spending months with both of them while traveling across the country to find his brother made you warm up. There were times when Ellie was asleep and Joel would find you to keep you company when he saw you awake at night. He opened up more and more which eventually led you to see his real face, a face of a broken and vulnerable man who lost too much.

You didn't realize how it happened, only knowing from the moment he comforted you after a nightmare that you had feelings for him. And sometimes when you saw his vulnerable gaze, you let yourself believe that maybe he did too.

But Joel never admitted any of that.

You hated how afraid you both were to tell the other anything but still stayed silent. If he didn't want to take the next step, you wouldn’t force him to do so.

In spite of Ellie's harmless teasing, the more she'd joke about Joel's feelings to you, the more tense you'd become. Not that Ellie had anything to do with your doubts and fears but you could never just laugh at her jokes regarding Joel. Your heart was aching each time you forced a smile on your face.

Arriving in Jackson felt like a dream coming true. You'd spent so much time on the road that you forgot how it felt to be a part of civilization anymore.

Joel was happy to be reunited with his brother, his face and eyes said it all. And while they hugged each other, finding comfort in each other's arms, you couldn't help but remember how much you've been missing your sister as well. You were happy for Joel but also envied him for being able to hug his sibling.

When you saw a familiar face in the crowd after Tommy and Maria showed you around, you couldn't believe your eyes. At first, you even thought that your imagination was playing games with you but when a pair of ice-blue eyes pierced through your soul, you knew it was real.

Your boyfriend - or whatever you were supposed to call who disappeared twenty years ago when everything went shit - was alive and well. Looking at Austin made you travel back to the times when everything was great.

He held you in his arms for minutes and you suddenly forgot about everything. The fireflies, Kansas City, all the deaths you'd witnessed, your feelings for Joel. His touch and scent made you young again.

Ellie looked happy that you could meet your love again while Joel's face was serious and flat. You didn't know what might have gone through his mind but decided to not care since he most likely never cared enough about you anyway.

You spent the rest of the day with Austin, at his house, sitting on his couch and talking. You didn't realize how much your voice could be heard until you felt your lips go dry from all the talking.

"I can't believe that you are here," he smiled and touched your cheek. You didn't push him away, only smiled.

"I can't either, so much has happened..."

"It's alright now, you are here with me," Austin wrapped his arm around your shoulders. Leaning into his presence made you relaxed and guilty. You never wanted to develop feelings for anyone else, let alone Joel Miller who was an emotionally available man and also a decade older than you but here you were with a torn heart toward two men.

Between the past and the present.

"Tommy mentioned that his brother is a closed-off person..." Austin started and your shoulders tensed.

"He can be," you admitted quietly. You didn't want to mention that lately, Joel has been more open with you, especially when he saw you in your most vulnerable state.

"How was it to travel with someone like him?" Austin asked. "I mean, he can literally murder someone just with his glare."

You chuckled tiredly as your eyes drifted to the ground.

"He is a tough guy," you said as you started to fidget with your fingers. “But he has a heart too.”

“I don’t doubt that, I just always wondered what makes a man this cold.”

Remembering the time when you were on watch a few nights ago and he woke up from a nightmare, he let you tell him that he wasn’t weak to miss someone, you felt your blood turn cold. 

It took him time but in the end, he’d spoken to you about his daughter, Sarah, whom he lost after his birthday when the outbreak happened. While you tried to comfort him, you felt your heart break when you saw tears glimmering in his eyes as he remembered his daughter. His confrontation explained everything that you never understood about him. His distant looks, his strictness, and his uneasiness when either Ellie or you got close to him.

Everything made sense and it meant a lot to you that he trusted you with his grief and guilt. 

You didn’t tell Austin why was Joel acting that way, it already took him months to address your closeness toward each other, it wasn’t your place to spill his secrets. 

When Austin saw how lost you got in your thoughts, he started to talk about the old times, distracting you. 

As you were sitting there with him, warmed up in his presence, resting in his arms, it felt like nothing has changed. You still felt something for him and when you remembered that Joel never tried to make an effort to get closer to you, you realized that you deserved better. You deserved someone who truly cared about you and didn’t think of you as a waste of time.

Before you knew it, you were leaning in and kissing Austin. Feeling relieved and sad that Joel probably never felt the same way as you did, you concluded that it was time to let go of him after holding into delusions for so long.

You couldn’t force someone to stay who wanted to leave.

If Joel truly cared for you then he would have done something about it instead of dancing around you while talking with double meanings. He was never straight about his feelings, maybe because you weren’t good enough for him but since you spent so much time in each other’s presence, he might have started to play with the thought of you being a physical pleasure.

But you never wanted to be just physical. You would have never been able to just distract him at night and act like nothing has ever happened afterward.

Accepting the familiar sadness creeping its way into your heart, you promised yourself to never think about Joel ever again.

And for the next few hours, you didn’t. Austin didn’t give you a chance to think about him again while he undressed you and spoiled you with his love and affection.

***

“Look at you, you are actually smiling,” Tommy teased you once he approached you later in the evening.

“Didn’t think I was able to?”

Tommy shook his head and you laughed.

“You jerk!”

“Hey, don’t need to be so harsh on me,” he put his hands up in defense while a smile flickered on his lips. “I saw you disappearing in Austin’s house, figuring you were the woman he always talked about ever since he showed up.”

Your eyes lit up. ”He talked about me?”

Tommy nodded. “All the time. I felt sorry for him when he told me when was the last time he saw you but the more he’d mention you, the more I wanted to punch him so that he would finally shut the fuck up for once.”

Instead of being embarrassed, you felt your heartbeat speed up. Austin was always an emotional man and you loved that he knew no shame when it came to you.

“I assume, you guys caught up with each other then?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

Tommy gave you a satisfied look. “I’m happy to hear that.”

“What about Joel?” You asked, rubbing your arm. “How is he holding up?”

“Mad that I didn’t answer his calls but he’ll come around, I hope.”

You nodded silently. You understood Joel’s frustration with Tommy’s missing and you felt just as relieved as Joel that nothing bad had happened to him. 

“I think you got off the hook pretty easily if you ask me.”

“Why?” Tommy asked.

“If it was my sister who’d disappeared while living her best life with someone, I would have definitely punched her in the face for making me so worried over nothing.”

At first, Tommy looked startled by your words, but his face softened when a smile eased your expression.

“Where is Joel?” You asked, suddenly feeling helpless. You didn’t know if now that both of you reunited with your people made you officially separate ways. If so, you needed closure after everything that happened between you two.

“At the workshop, he seems a little lost,” Tommy admitted sadly. 

“Probably because he doesn’t know how to act around all these people and Maria who is your…”

“Check on him for me, okay?” Tommy asked and you nodded. 

“Of course.”

Tommy gave your arm a reassuring squeeze before he walked off, leaving you alone in the dark. 

While you were walking toward the workshop, you were surprised to find yourself nervous the closer you got to the lights beaming through the windows.

You didn’t even know what to say but you knew you needed to see him.

Swallowing your worries, you pushed the door open and noticed Joel’s crouching figure sitting on the other side of the room. 

When he heard you closing the door, he looked up at you in silence. He looked exhausted, overwhelmed, and sad at the same time. You wished you could help him fight his doubts and worries but he was never that good with words either to express his feelings.

Walking over to him, you took a deep breath as you came to a stop in front of him.

“Hiding from all the curious eyes, hm?” You asked, trying to sound confident and calm.

Joel’s eyes found yours as he touched the broken watch on his wrist. The little gesture made you frown but you didn’t say anything.

“Where were you?” Joel asked.

Ignoring when your stomach turned at the sound of his defeated tone, you took a seat in front of him while gathering your thoughts.

“At Austin’s house.”

Joel remained silent as he was studying you with intense eyes. You wanted to know what was going on inside his head but you were also afraid to let things come to the surface.

“Austin is…”

“Tommy talked about him.” Joel interrupted you, not wanting to hear you finish the sentence.

You held your breath as you took his sight in. You’ve never seen him like this and you didn’t know how to react now that you came to face a different side of him.

“I thought he died,” you admitted, dropping your gaze to the ground. “But meeting him again after all this time… it feels like now everything has fallen in its place.”

Joel moved his head to the side. “Has it?”

You narrowed your eyes and leaned forward. “What is going on with you, Miller? We went through hell to get here and you finally found your brother… and I find out that Austin isn’t dead. We did it. Why are you this cold now?”

Joel looked around the workshop, his expression dropping as he tried to bring himself to look into your eyes again.

“You never talked about Austin,” he murmured.

“Talking about people I love is not something I do quite often,” you admitted.

Joel’s eyes jumped up to you, not missing how you said love instead of loved.

“Love?”

You let out a shaky breath, holding into the edge of your seat and fighting the urge to run out of the shop and hide in Austin’s house from Joel’s intense glare.

“He is my boyfriend,” you encountered and Joel leaned back.

“Even after not knowing anything about him for… how many years?” Joel asked doubtfully.

You didn’t want to answer because you didn’t want to think of that now. It took decades but you finally found your other half whom you’d lost many years ago. You didn’t want to think about anything else at the moment.

“I know that he still has a place in my heart after everything that happened,” you stood your ground, not understanding why was he doubting your relationship in the first place.

He never truly cared about you anyway. He always made sure you knew that.

Joel looked visibly uncomfortable hearing you talk about Austin like that.

“What is your problem?” You snapped, losing the last drop of patience that you’ve had with this man.

Joel sniffed and clenched his fists while fighting his thoughts.

“Nothin’... if after everything you still want to be with him then just do it,” Joel said with a serious glare. “I ain’t stopping you.”

Crossing your arms over your chest, you studied the way his stormy eyes glared at you with uneasiness but also a glimpse of sadness.

“Why would I not want to be with him?”

Joel closed his eyes for a moment before his expression hardened. It looked like he was desperately trying to keep himself together.

“You two… uh…”

Not understanding his stutter, you shifted in your place as you glared at him.

“Yes, we did.”

Joel’s face fell as he slowly tore his eyes away from you. It looked like he didn’t want to know the details but still chose to fumble about it. And you weren’t in a mood to be merciful with him.

“I thought after all this time you cared for my happiness,” you said and he looked at his hands.

“I do… you know I do.”

“You don’t seem like who does.”

Joel took a sharp breath and glanced up at the ceiling. That was the brief moment that made your heart drop. Because if you blinked, you wouldn’t have noticed the tears he was fighting to hold back.

Feeling exposed and clueless, you looked at him as if he was trying his best to not fall apart under your gaze.

“So, what now?” he asked, his voice low and vulnerable. 

“Well, you don’t need me anymore, so I guess I’ll just stay with Austin.”

Joel glanced up at you, tears blurring his vision. Your heart shattered at the sight of him trying to hold back his tears.

“Why would you think I don’t need you anymore?” Joel asked, his eyes never leaving you.

You shrugged, trying your best to keep your voice at bay. You didn’t want to cry. Not this time, not when you decided you moved on from him.

“I only helped you get to Wyoming and now we are here, I’ve done my part.”

Joel didn’t look relieved by your response. In fact, he looked more devastated as you tried to cut him out of your life now that you reached Jackson.

“Is there something I don’t know?” You tilted your head to the side as his lips trembled.

“I thought you…” his voice trailed off before he shook his head. “I thought that we…”

Realizing what he was trying to say, you tried your best to cover your sadness. He had his chance and he never took it, you had to remind yourself.

“I thought we had something,” he finished in a muffled tone. “Something more than just a partnership.”

Your breath got caught in your throat as he stared into your soul, not even trying to hide his sadness anymore. 

You hated to see him like that but he got himself into this. Not you.

“I did too,” you admitted and his eyes lit up, not expecting an answer from you.

“You did?” his voice was husky and deep.

You bit into your lower lip and gave him a nod.

“I cared about you more than I should have,” you said, feeling pain aching in your chest. “And I always made excuses for you but I’ve had enough of being nothing to you.”

Joel gave you a desperate look. “You were never nothing to me.”

Dropping your gaze as you realized it was a mistake to come here. You didn’t expect him to admit his feelings anytime in this life and now that it happened, you didn’t know what to do.

When you refused to look at him, he slowly stood up and walked over to you. The closer he got, the faster your heart was beating, threatening to break through your ribcage.

Joel lowered himself to his knee with a grunt to be the same level as you were and reached out to take your hands in his.

Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t ignore what his touch has turned you into. His calloused hands made you feel safe and wanted which was something you’ve lingered for a long time while you were traveling with him.

“I tried not to care for you because I knew that I wouldn’t survive if something has happened to you too,” he said quietly, searching for your eyes. “I thought if I pushed you away then I would stop having feelings for you.”

His words both surprised and disappointed you. You always thought you’d done something wrong that made him the moody man he was whenever you were around him. You’d spent countless nights wondering how should you change to make him finally see you.

“If you really cared for me then you would have risked it,” you looked into his eyes with flushed cheeks.

Joel dropped his gaze to your lips before he rubbed your soft skin with his thumb.

“I know, baby, I’m a coward,” he admitted shamefully. “And you deserve someone who is not afraid to be honest. Someone like Austin. I just… I hate that you are with him.”

You felt anger crawl its way through your veins as his words echoed in your ears. I hate that you are with him.

You ripped your hands out of his grasp and stood up, silently ordering him to do the same.

“What is the point of all this now?” You asked in a shaky tone. ”You like to make me desperate just when I found Austin? Now that I’m happy you are quick to ruin it for me, huh?”

“No… that’s not what I…”

Wiping your eyes, you glared at him, burning down every bridge that has ever connected you to him.

“You truly are a coward, if you would have thought about how I felt instead of putting a wall between us then you wouldn’t have waited until the last moment to tell me how you feel about me!”

Joel didn’t answer because he couldn’t argue with your reasons. He knew you were telling the truth and it made him drop his shoulders.

“And you felt the need to tell me all this when Austin came back into my life? It took you this long to realize what you felt was real?”

Joel took a step back, your anger surprising him while also understanding why his speech struck a nerve in you.

“What do you want me to say to that?” You spread your arms.

“I just wanted you to know…”

“Well, it’s too late for that,” you said, your voice cracking. “I don’t want to be with someone who only values people when they leave him.”

Your heart was breaking into million pieces as you took his sad gaze in. Part of you wanted to close the distance between you two, pulling him close and never letting him go, showing him that he was worthy of love but you knew otherwise.

You were the only one between you two who tried to do something about your feelings toward each other while he shut you out every time. 

He might have only noticed what he had when he lost you but what about your feelings? He kept sending you mixed signals, one day keeping you close to him only to push you away the next day.

You were exhausted from trying. And you didn’t want to chase dreams that would never come true.

“I thought this would end differently,” he admitted, almost whispering the words into the silence that fell upon you.

“I hoped it would too.” You admitted with tears running down your cheeks. 

Joel stepped closer to you, his eyes holding many emotions as he cupped your cheek. You wanted to push him away, slap him, even scream at him for being such an asshole but his touch made you weak and lose your voice.

“I’m sorry,” Joel said, staring into your eyes before leaning closer to place a tender kiss on your forehead.

You were frozen in your place as his lips touched your skin, a tear dropping as he closed his eyes, falling onto your temple. 

You would have never thought that you’d make Joel Miller cry and this was the first time you ever felt broken by his touch. Only if things were different…

“Tell Austin that he has an angel in his hands, he better keep her safe and love her the way she deserves to be loved.”

The way he was afraid to love you.

His words made your heart skip a beat. As you looked up at his defeated face, you saw him trying to give you a reassuring smile that only made your pain even worse.

“He will.”

With one last glance, you stepped away from him, wiping your wet cheeks before hurrying out of the workshop, and stepping into the endless darkness of the night.

That was the last time you'd spoken to Joel Miller.