#also no hate to maggie i love her but being w her is exactly the type of repressed bullshit i expect from a dude w like a 20 y/o crush | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hightidelowmood · 2 years

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* meet cute!!!! Meet cute!!!!! Mary Winchester is cute af such good casting. Literally adore her! So pretty! Exactly how I would assume a young Mary w would look!

*‘See you around soldier boy’ excuse me did Jensen know he got picked up as soldier boy when putting this together cos LOL love that subtle nod.

* AHHHH NANNA WINCHESTER IS A FOX OOOOOFT I have the biggest crush!!!! She’s so sweet! already adore the shit out of her

*‘my husband and kid walked out on me’ ok ok ok mummy winchester no worries.

* ‘time to let the past go kiddo’ John winchester doesn’t just let things go…

*it’s very clear that Dean is much more like Mary than we thought! Ooooo who is Maggie!??? Also mary exercising a demon wheewww

*hahahahaha John winchester freaking out about demons is so great! I wish I could recall who Maggie is?? Did we ever cover Maggie??? Is she in canon?

*oh oh oh who is the man that gave that letter to John???? Is that man of letters????? wait so john’s dad was a man of letters??? Why are both their dads missing???? I adore this!

*oh his dads dead dur

*the chemistry is great! Well done to Jensen / casting people, these two already have me wanting them together

*This is extremely adorable that John is so accepting of demons and he’s just accepting it. Like literally demons? Weird bunker under ground no worries totally normal whatever

*was John always that tall??? Can we get a side by side of John and Mary???? Or Jeffrey and this actor??? Like he’s pretty tall… is he taller than Jared???

*side note - can’t wait to see them at the winchester panels and Comic-Con’s hahahahaha

*What a big bunch of shoes to jump in for this actor… how do you play Jeffrey Dean??? Hahahaha anyway, back to business

*soooo glad we’re covering man of letters and this will be their home base… it begs the question why didn’t John know about this in supernatural??? How was he not familiar with this man of letters base for him and the boys??? Does that get covered? Do we ever get closure on this? I feel like I didn’t pay enough attn to spn beczhse I’m feeling like John winchester from spn didn’t know about men of letters.

*don’t worry son… I know how to trap it awwwwww god bless John! So accepting of this whole demon situation I just like this energy, doesn’t even think twice just decides to be a demon hunter, what career????

*lubbock Texas ok ok ok we have flickering lights here we go! What demon is going to possess this woman???? Run lady run!!! Oh oops she wasn’t fast enough

* Mary drives a bad ass car and of course John is waiting by her car hahahaha oh we’re on a hunt!!!!!! Yay!!!!! Also adore that Mary is so stand off energy with John is in love. Mary is literally like please fuck off I don’t want to love you / like you energy and he’s very much golden retriever energy

*John hating his dad for keeping hunting away from him is so funny because he learnt about that and decided not to hide hunting from his kids… so weird

*oh we have an English accented chick

*PTSD John that’s so sad ‘I think I’m being haunted’ well ok… I love that they’re opening up to one another. I like that we’re seeing a heavier side of them as a pre couple. It’s clear they’re going to fall in love but it’ll be a slow burn - it’s also nice that John is likely going to have a few episodes where he’s dealing with the fall out of loosing his close mate

*i can’t get over the fact that Dean is so much like Mary in mannerisms and Sam so much like John in mannerism

*carlos hehehehehehehe ‘come on rookie.. learn something’ oh oh we are totally going to love Carlos ~johns first exorcism, well done john 😂 ‘jimmy, Janis, hahahahahaha wait is johns real name johnathan???? Excuse me????

*oh oh we officially are in Samuel’s hunting stop? He maps his hunts the same way that John did in season 1 of spn that’s interesting and slight nod

*carlos being ?bi is so great, so glad they are going down this route! Well done!!! How is the Winchester’s more progressive than spn???

*the English girl is definitely a great addition, she’s like the walking encyclopaedia, she’s giving fred from angel the series or willow from Buffy, the intelligent walking encyclopaedia that every Scooby gang needs

*☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️maggie… who the hell is Maggie???? Why does Mary think it’s her fault that whatever happened to Maggie happened???? Who is Maggie guys????

*carlos is my favourite character I just know it

*john is so caring, so sweet, such a darling ‘maybe we can be nervous together’ god bless him, imagine he was this sweet in the original series it’s so nice to see this beginning of him, the young version of him makes me appreciate and love the Jeffrey Dean Morgan version of him cause you just know there are many layers to this character 😭

*yes!!! Who is Maggie?!!!

* she’s a hunter like Mary, a vampire of course, a sister to Mary and Mary couldn’t save her and I’m emo, 18 years old and gone

*🥺Mary wants out

* back story time about Mary and how she wants to walk away :( how she’s so sad that her mum and dad put a knife in her hand ahhhh that’s so sad and that’s exactly what John did to their children 🥴🥴🥴🥴that’s so sad

*although we’ve already gone through that backstory in the original series it’s nice for them to cover this in this series so new viewers know what’s happening hahahaha and when and if they go down the route of spn they’ll understand the level of OUCH Mary felt when she saw her two babies these amazing hunters but so sad for herself and the life they could have had ugh I’m emo

* Mary is soooo in love it’s so cute!!! Her big smile at him makes me LAUGH!!! they just vibe so well together. Anyway we just jumped down a well? That is heavily guarded… oh my god wtf is that??? A loogaroo

*did John really cut his arm open for Mary to buy her enough time to get it out of there?? That cute sacrificial thing is such a winchester trait

*surely Carlos isn’t going to o get his ass beat this early in the fold????

*mary is kicking some sweet demon ass and John is fighting a dinosaur looking thing odd odd definitely weird ok he just cut off it’s head how very winchester of him

*side note mary kicked some demon ass but only threw John a knife? As if he could fend for himself the level of sureness she had in his abilities to fight the dinosaur

*oh! Mummy winchester owns a whole ass garage where she fixes cars???? Aww mum winchester wanted nothing more than to be like her dad and then she fell in love with john’s dad and ☠️☠️☠️☠️

*mum winchester literally just said ‘I knew I would do anything to keep you safe, when you have kids you’ll understand’ and I am crying big real fat tears

*wait who voiced john’s dad’s voice???

*no John don’t go down this road please ‘saving people, hunting things, I was born to do this’ ugh John please and also what happened to Johns mum? Did we ever deal with that? Was that covered in spn??? Also wish he said ‘saving people, hunting things, the family business’ 🫣

*lata, Samuel would be proud of you! You kicked some ass!

*ada confirming John looks like his dad and telling him how kind he was is so lovely esp. for John winchester because it’s clear that by the time we hit spn Johns so lonely and sad and seeing this bright and happy version of him with the weight of the world not on his shoulders ugh I’m crying again

*oh oh we are going on a road trip to savannah and that’s when Mary winchester gets heart eyes for John winchester 🥺

*acreada my man’s who r u and why u trying to end the world?????

*oh my god Jensen!!!!!! ‘Until then I will keep picking the music’ oh my god the fucking goose bumps call the police on me right now and the impala baby ugh perfect pilot!!!!

#the winchesters #Winchester’s #supernatural #spn #Mary winchester #John winchester #Mary x John #Nina watches tv #spnwin #the winchesters live watch #live blogging

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rrickgrrimes8 · 3 years

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hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard.

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment.

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him.

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum.

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears.

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.”

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body.

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?”

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!”

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.”

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled.

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.”

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.”

“I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had.

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting.

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck.

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you."

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen."

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?"

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began.

"How was it?" She inquired.

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed.

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled.

"Why two kisses, y/n?"

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead.

"Its home bubs with an e on the end."

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again.

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van.

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here.

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too.

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug.

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada."

"I love you too, baby girl."

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect.

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father.

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers.

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help."

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you."

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps.

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head.

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group.

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs.

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me."

"I promise, dada."

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird.

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it.

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone.

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical.

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for.

Glenn was next.

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her.

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt.

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma.

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her.

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead.

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it.

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth.

"I-i can't," She sobbed.

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop.

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them.

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump."

"I love you, Daryl."

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes.

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well."

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground.

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame.

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father.

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan.

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories.

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick.

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her.

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."

#the walking dead imagine #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes imagine #rick grimes x grimes!reader #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes imagine #carl grimes x grimes!reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #michonne x reader #michonne x daughter!reader #rick grimes #carl grimes #daryl dixon #michonne #rick grimes daughter #the walking dead request

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ajeepgirl · 3 years

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Dr. Love Drug

Summary: Kara solar flares but then gets very very sick. In her very sick state, she takes a bunch of cough medicine and maybe gets a teeny tiny bit high from it, and then goes to the pharmacy for medicine. Once there, Kara meets the most beautiful woman she has ever seen. And well, in her current state, chaos ensues.

Read On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33649807

Kara was doing it herself. Alone. Solo. If only to prove to Alex, Maggie, Winn, Lucy, and James that she could. Sure, maybe she had never done it before, because she never needed to do it before. But here she was, doing it. She could do it.

That’s what she kept telling herself, anyway, as she walked down the street, to the pharmacy near her apartment.

Her pounding head and double vision be damned.

She really hates it when she solar flares… Even more so when she winds up sick because of it. This time though, she isn’t just sick, no, she somehow got a massive sinus affection, pink eye, and the flu, all at the same time. All her friends were steering clear of her. Even Alex didn’t want to go near her.

Kara stumbles as she walks into the pharmacy, catching herself on a shelf, she blinks a few times to try to clear her vision and her head. It doesn’t help. Neither did the bottle of cough syrup she chugged that morning, apparently, as she coughs a few times. Nothing seems to help. She has no idea how humans stand being sick. Or how they haven’t figured out how to eradicate bacteria and viruses that lead to this level of suffering. She attempts to breathe through her nose, before remembering how stuffed it is, and resorts back to her awkward mouth breathing as she makes her way to the back of the store to the pharmacy (“You need real medicine!” Alex insisted, as she filled out some pad with scribbles on it).

It’s what led to Kara coming here. Alex was filling it out, saying she would run to the pharmacy for her, when she got a call from the DEO, from J’onn. It was an emergency. Kara insisted she could get the medicine herself. She knew without Supergirl, that the DEO needed her sister. Alex hesitated, she didn’t want Kara wandering around the city alone, in her current state. But when Kara pointed out that Alex had no idea how long her emergency would take, she caved and handed over the white slip of paper, setting it on the counter, giving Kara plenty of space, not wanting to catch whatever plague she had.

Alex thought she was funny. Kara did not.

As Kara approached the pharmacy, she waited for the person in front of her to finish, and she noticed how her head felt like it was flying… or more accurately, floating, several feet above her body. Was this another symptom? Maybe she did overdo it with the cough syrup after Alex left. She had no idea how much to take. The numbers on the bottle were too small to read in her current condition. Oh well. Too late now.

“Next?” Kara hears the female voice through her muffled ears.

Kara smiles widely as she hands over the folded pieces of paper. The pharmacist, a woman with long dark hair and piercing green eyes, takes the paper and opens it, and then looks back at Kara, her eyebrow raised curiously.

“Miss, this isn’t your prescription. It’s just a sticky note with your name and number.”

Now, if Kara had been in her right state of mind, she would have realized her error. She would have realized that she had grabbed the wrote piece of paper off her counter at the apartment. She had written this down before, when she was prepping for a meeting with a contact for a new article. She wanted to have it ready to go, to hand off to the person. But then a fight happened, and the solar flare happened, and she got sick… and well, the paper ended up back on her counter.

Apparently, right next to where Alex sat the prescription.

Kara, however, was not in her right state of mind. Oh no, in fact, the moment she looked at the woman behind the counter, all she could focus on was how strikingly beautiful she was. Her jawline could cut glass. Her hair was long but pulled back in a tight ponytail. Her eyes, though, are what Kara couldn’t stop going back to.

As the woman spoke to Kara, she simply stared back for a moment, the fog in her mind seeming to block out her ability to function.

“Miss?” The woman said again.

This time, Kara looks at the pharmacist, the wide grin back on her face, her nose red, as her brain decides to work a little bit more as she says, “I guess I just need your love drug.”

The pharmacist simply stares back, silent.

But Kara, she didn’t stop there, oh no. She then leans in, and whispers. “Can I tell you something?”

The woman is now smirking, intrigued by the clearly very sick and apparently high, person before her. The woman bends forward ever so slightly. “I’m listening.”

Kara looks around, dramatically, to the very empty area around her. “I’m Supergirl.”

And then… Kara gives her a wink… and does finger guns.

It’s surreal, as the woman stands there, staring at her, taking her in fully for the first time, really sizing her up. As she does, Kara reaches up to take her glasses off. And that’s when she realizes… she was never wearing them.

Her eyes go wide as she looks back at the woman before her, as a second of sanity creeps its way into the fog of Kara’s mind as she also realizes that in her sick state, she has also left her hair hang down. “Oh Rao. I just did that.”

And the woman laughs.

“It is not funny,” Kara says as she leans back down again, this time at her name tag, “Dr. Kieran.”

The woman looks backward to the clock on the wall. “It’s time for my break, let’s take a walk, shall we?”

Kara’s eyes widen and then narrow. “Why?”

This time, the woman, Dr. Kieran, leans in. Kara naturally also tilts in to listen. “Because we shouldn’t talk about secret identities in public.”

Kara nods seriously as Dr. Kieran disappears for a moment in the back of the pharmacy and then reappear as she exits the pharmacy from a door a few feet from Kara. She waves Kara over to her as she walks towards the exit.

“Do you live near here?” she asks Kara as they make their way outside.

Kara nods and heads in that direction, with Dr. Kieran a half step behind her. Halfway there though, Kara starts to get woozy, the energy needed to be up and moving around this much apparently taking more out of her than she realizes. She turns to her new friend, eyes a little panicked looking. “Um… I think… I might…”

“Oh, fuck me. Don’t you dare-” Dr. Kieran says it as she turns to Kara, arms out, ready to catch her.

And that’s all Kara hears before she feels herself start to fall and the world goes black.

---------------

Kara feels warm, like she is wrapped by the sun when she starts to awaken. It takes her a moment to realize she is wrapped in several blankets. As she opens her eyes, she realizes she is most definitely not in her own apartment. She starts to sit up, a quick gasp coming out of her mouth.

“Woah, easy there,” comes the melodious voice from earlier that day. A hand lands on her shoulder. Kara turns slightly to see the familiar green eyes. “Easy, Kara, you might pass out again.”

Kara hesitates, feeling the woman’s hand on her shoulder and recalling the events from earlier. “How long was I out?” she asks.

Dr. Kieran glances at the clock on the wall. “About two hours.”

Kara looks around for her phone but doesn’t see it anywhere. “Do you know where my phone is?”

Dr. Kieran’s head tilts in confusion. “You didn’t have a phone on you, Kara. Just some cash and that sticky note you… mistook for a prescription.”

Kara feels her cheeks go red. “Right…”

Dr. Kieran sits down next to her on the coffee table. “Hey, I need to check your temperature, ok? See if your fever has broken.”

Kara nods, giving permission to Dr. Kieran, who then feels her forehead. “Oh good, I think it has finally broken. Now, do you want to tell me exactly how much cough syrup you took? I was afraid to give you any medicine because I wasn’t sure exactly how high you were.”

Kara feels her cheeks turn a brighter shade of red. “I… um… well… I wasn’t sure how much was enough… and I just… wouldn’t stop coughing…”

Dr. Kieran hums. “Don’t get sick often do we, Supergirl?”

Kara’s eyes widen. “What? Um… I’m not… who told you that?”

“You did.” She says, matter-of-factly.

The reminder sends the memory flashing through Kara’s mind. “Oh Rao. I… I said that… in public. Alex is going to kill me.”

“Who is Alex?” Dr. Kieran asks, interrupting Kara’s thoughts of panic.

“Oh, my… my sister. She is very protective of me.”

Dr. Kieran nods understandingly. “Well, my security specialist Querl has already made the security tape from the pharmacy disappear.”

“I’m… wait, you did what now?” Kara says confused.

The woman smiles at Kara mischievously. “I said, your sister doesn’t need to worry, I was the only one there when you said it, and any proof of you saying it, has been taken care of.”

“Wow… um… thank you,” Kara stammers out as she feels her face heating up again.

Dr. Kieran half smiles. “Now that we have all that settled. How about I get you some soup from my kitchen, and we get you all better, ok?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Kara says. “I… I can go home… I can manage…”

“Kara, please don’t take this the wrong way, but you clearly have no idea what to do when you are sick. And it appears, based on the fact that you showed up at the pharmacy, that you could use someone’s assistance in this matter. So please, let me help you.”

“Why? I mean… why would you help me? Why not out me? You literally have my full name and number.”

The pharmacist gives Kara a sad smile. “I know you don’t know me, personally, Kara. But you spend your time, when you are being Supergirl, protecting people. I assume that means you think there are people worth protecting, yes?”

Kara nods slowly.

“Well, even superheroes need protecting, sometimes too. Whether that is from some big bad evil person, or from a teeny tiny flu virus. So please, let me help you this one time.” She gives Kara a small smile as she gets up and walks off toward the kitchen, though not before giving her a small squeeze on the shoulder.

Kara lays back down, her mind swirling. This woman, Dr. Kieran, might just be the most brilliant, kindhearted, beautiful soul she has ever met.

----------------

Kara falls asleep shortly after she finishes the soup. When she awakes again, she finds Dr. Kieran in the chair next to her, reading a book.

“Ah, how is our patient?” she asks, seeing Kara stirring as she sits up.

Kara takes stock of her symptoms, noticing that she can breathe a little easier now. “I think I am on the mend, doc,” she says with a smile.

“Lena,” she says in return. “You can call me Lena.”

Kara smiles. “Thank you for your hospitality. I should probably get going though. My sister is probably freaking out.”

“Oh… about that,” Lena says as she pulls out a familiar phone. “With your name and number, I was able to find your address. I sent Querl over to retrieve your phone. Good thing I did too, you left your door unlocked.”

Kara blushes as she takes the phone from Lena. “Thank you…”

She sees five missed calls from her sister. “Oh no… Um… excuse me?”

Lena nods with a small smile. “Of course, I will make myself scarce so you can talk to your sister.”

The conversation doesn’t go completely awful. Though Kara might have skipped over the part where she told the pharmacist that she was Supergirl and only told her sister the part about how she passed out and the pharmacist she met is taking care of her for now.

“My sister would like for me to text her your address. Otherwise, she might be forced to use her government job to find you,” Kara says, using air quotes for the second part of her statement, as Lena reenters the room a few minutes later.

Lena laughs. “Good luck with that.”

Kara’s head tilts in confusion.

Lena only shrugs. “Long story. Look, I can drive you back to your place, whenever you want. No need for big sis to storm the castle.”

“Thank you,” Kara says with a gracious smile.

“I didn’t know Supergirl had a sister,” Lena says as she sits back down in her chair.

“Oh… she is human. My… adopted sister, from my Earth family. Very wonderful people. But very protective.”

“Ah, I see, adoption is… always complicated,” Lena says solemnly.

“You were adopted too?” Kara asks.

Lena nods. “When I was four. But we should really be focusing on you, Kara and getting you better.”

“You are doing a great job so far,” Kara says with a toothy smile.

“Oh, is my love drug working?” Lena says back with a smirk.

Kara’s face turns bright red. “Um…”

Lena chuckles. “How about I get you some fluids, maybe some water and Gatorade?”

She stands up and walks off, leaving Kara to stammer to herself for a moment. By the time Lena comes back with the drinks for her, Kara has seemingly recovered enough to speak again.

Lena hands her the water first. “Thank you. And can I just say, for the record, you are an amazingly gorgeous, attractive person.”

Lena smiles, a slight blush creeping up her neck.

“And I would love to have met you under circumstances where I wasn’t…”

“High on cough syrup?”

“Sick, I was going to say, sick,” Kara counters. “Anyway… I wanted to also thank you for taking care of me… and apologize for ruining your day.”

Lena sits down on the coffee table in front of Kara as she speaks, an odd, unreadable expression on her face. “You… don’t need to apologize for anything, Kara. I am just glad that it seems like after a few more hours of sleep, that you are nearly recovered. I assume that perhaps your powers are starting to return?”

Kara gives a small nod. “I think my cells are slowly reactivating, yes. I can tell that my sickness is nearly gone.”

“That’s wonderful. You will be out there saving people again in no time.”

“Wait, how did you know my powers were returning?” Kara asks, her mind finally starting to work a bit clearer again.

Lena has a thin small smile. “I suppose I couldn’t convince you that I just looked it up on the internet, could I?”

Kara’s head tilts sideways as she gives a soft, pouting look.

Lena lets out a low sigh. “I have a sibling too.”

“Oh?” Kara asks, unsure of how this connects at all to what they were just talking about. She is even more confused than before.

“You have probably heard of him since your cousin has worked closely with him,” Lena says as she stares down at the floor.

“Wh… what are you saying, Lena?” Kara asks as she sits up fully now.

Lena looks up, green eyes meeting blue as she searches in Kara, hoping that Kara won’t judge her for what she is about to say.

“My brother is Lex… Lex Luthor.”

The room falls silent.

Kara stares at Lena.

Seconds tick by.

Lena, unable to take it any longer, stands and says, “I understand… I can drive you home… or pay a service to take you home… whichever you prefer.”

Kara’s hand reaches out, and grabs Lena’s, holding her in place. “No, wait, I’m sorry. I’m just… still processing.”

Lena looks down, seeing Kara’s hand still wrapped around her own. She looks back at Kara, who uses her free hand to pat the couch, inviting Lena to sit next to her. “Please, sit down? I would like to hear your story… if you want to share it.”

Lena lets out a shaky breath as she smiles and says, “Ok.”

She sits next to Kara and tells her all about her life, though she focuses mostly on the past couple of years. She tells her how she went into hiding after Lex’s attack. She knows it is only a matter of time before he finds a way out of prison. So, she went into hiding under the name Kieran. She moved across the country to National City and got a job as a pharmacist. She has a private security team that she trusts with her life, and she has a small science lab in her home where she continues to tinker and build inventions. And she hopes to eventually launch a new science and technology company under a new name. But for now, she is steering clear of the limelight and of Lex’s prying eyes.

Kara is quiet as she listens intently to Lena’s story. She remembers her own thoughts from earlier that day and is glad she was right - brilliant, kindhearted, beautiful.

“Lena, wow, I’m glad you are safe.”

“You… you believe me?” Lena asks, surprised.

Kara nudges her with her shoulder. “Of course, I believe you. You literally took care of me all day today. You rescued me. I mean, I was wondering around the city, completely discombobulated, out of my mind, and then I passed out. You are my knight in a white lab coat!”

This draws a laugh out of them both.

“I’m glad I could help, Kara, seriously. I know I don’t have to… but a part of me feels like I should be trying to make up for all the evil things my brother has done.”

Kara nods, knowingly. “I understand. In a lot of ways, I feel like I am trying to make up for the sins of my people… I… I have to save this world because my parents couldn’t save my world.”

“Wow… yeah, Kara… that’s… that’s a heavy burden to carry. Can I ask, why you and not your cousin?”

Kara lets out a long sigh before she explains. “He was an infant… he has no memory of our planet. But me, I was a teenager. And it was my parents who played a huge role in the destruction of the planet by ignoring my Aunt Astra’s warnings. So… in a way… I have to make sure that I do not repeat the sins of my family’s past… my people’s past. My cousin, Superman, Kal El, he has no memories of these things… so they do not weight on him… or haunt him… like they do me.”

“Kara…” Lena says, trailing off. “I… I don’t know what to say… I cannot image being the last of your people… to have lost so much… and yet still feel such a strong desire to help and to protect… I think I would drown in my sorrow if I was in your position.”

Kara’s eyes glimmer with the hint of tears as she shrugs slightly. “Sometimes I do.”

Lena wraps an arm around Kara. “And that’s ok. I lose it all the time because of what happened with my brother.”

This makes Kara chuckle a little as she lets herself sink into Lena. “Just wait until you see Alex blow up at me for being gone for so long. She is going to lose her mind.”

That makes them both laugh even more.

They stay like that for some time, chatting about siblings and family and life before and after being adopted. They can both sense a shared connection, something beyond the fact that Kara is a Super and that Lena is a Luthor. There is something underneath the hero/villain storyline personified by their family ties. There is a story of heartbreak and tragedy and loss that both share. There is the openness and hope that Kara still carries strongly with her, which Lena cannot help but admire. There is the unwavering kindness and brilliance that Lena has despite the way she has been treated by those who claimed to love her throughout her life, which Kara cannot help but be in awe of.

When there is a pounding on Lena’s door later that evening, the two finally pull apart.

“That would be Alex,” Kara says, standing up.

Lena chuckles. “I know. I had Querl wait by your apartment to give her my address.”

Kara laughs, knowing Alex will be so angry she couldn’t figure it out herself. Lena makes her way to the door as Kara follows closely behind.

“Hello, Agent Danvers,” Lena says as she opens the door.

Kara pokes her head from behind Lena. “Hey sis! Give me one minute, ok! I’ll be out in one minute, I promise!”

Alex’s eyes go furious with murder as she grits her teeth. “Fine. One minute.” She eyes Lena closely as Lena smiles widely and closes the door again.

She turns to face Kara, a curious look on her face.

“Well, doc, I don’t have your number. You know, in case I need it for… a follow up.”

Lena’s lips purse together as she tries to hide the smile that wants to launch across her face. She holds her hand out for Kara’s phone, which Kara excitedly hands over. When Lena hands it back, Kara can’t help but giggle when she sees what Lena puts in for her name.

Dr. Love Drug

Kara immediately opens her camera, looks her arm around Lena, and pulls her in for a selfie. Lena’s only half smiling in the picture, caught between a look of confusion and attempting to smile for the picture. Kara sends the picture to Lena as soon as she takes it.

“You know, in case you wanted a token to remember the day,” Kara says with a grin as Lena hears her phone go off from the other room.

Lena shakes her head side to side. “What have I gotten myself into?” she says out loud.

“Oh, just you wait, all the cute dog videos are coming your way,” Kara responds as she opens the door.

Lena smiles fondly. “Goodbye, Kara.”

Kara looks back at Lena one final time, smiling brightly. “Thanks again, Lena.”

#supergirl #supercorp #kara and lena

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phoebehalliwell · 2 years

Note

idk if you're open to these but i am curious about your opinions so here goes nothing. macy, maggie, harry and mel for character opinions.

macy:

i miss her lol but at least she's free of all her mediocre relationships w men (galvin excluded i liked their relationship)

mel:

this is so funny. i have opinions on mel i swear they're just not tiles on this bingo card. i really really like her when she's kind of being like a stubborn insufferable bitch bc she's scared of being vulnerable i love that character arc how she became so frigid after her mom's death bc she was just so so scared and her dynamic with maggie especially in that early season was so interesting and i really like how she doesn't need people to like her bc she knows exactly who she is. didn't like her s2 arc hated her playing second fiddle to abi honestly i well for starters i hate abi but i hate her and abi as a ship it's not good. i love her relationship w harry bc she can just be mean to him and he knows it's from a place of care and she knows he knows it's from a place of care so she doesn't feel the need to walk on eggshells around him and i love that. i loved her teacher arc.

maggie:

i wish we would have gotten more to the meat of the matter with maggie's compulsive need to be liked in like s1 w her greek life thing and w parker (which i also hated!! the caine family does not deserve rights!) bc like. it's just so fascinating how much she needed everyone to like her juxtaposed to Knowing Exactly How Other People Feel About Her i would have love to have seen that explored more i really liked her dynamic w macy especially in the beginning when mel (kind of rightfully so) was like ew no i don't want another sister but maggie (even more rightfully so) is like no this girl is our sister and she just lost mom too even if she didn't know her previously like i like the connections she formed w people. loved her and jordan i think they're fun

Harry:

s1 harry remains superior and even then he's still annoying like i liked the character but he was just around too much like it always bugged me how together they all were "the power of 4" bc like. girl no. he's just their fucking whitelighter lol like no. and then once you hit s2 and they try a) making him sexy to justify hacy and b) making him integral to the narrative it was just so deeply unappealing. like i do not care what he was up to before. i do not care about his evil twin (tho i will say i do love the whitelighter/darklighter lore i thought that was a really fun take)

#no bingos for anyone #i need a more nuanced card lol #ch2018

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dawniebb · 4 years

Text

CANON IS AN ILLUSION PT. 2

If it doesn’t spark joy, throw it away.- Marie Kondo

So now that @healing-winston-pratt and I have explained how we got rid of ¼ of Supernova, let me tell you that it doesn’t stop here because you don’t mess with the type As when something gets into their heads.

For background, you can use this post as a masterlist because we don’t have one yet: https://healing-winston-pratt.tumblr.com/post/624723862884696064/well-this-is-the-last-piece-of-our-marathon

This is our post-Supernova canon divergence :) which, btw, it’s the one we’ll use from now on to create our content (actually, @healing-winston-pratt already used it for her birthday drawings and I just stood there playing dumb pretending I didn’t have anything to do with it jssjjs). So, if you see that Callum and Winston are suddenly alive in our content or you find some of the things established in this list it’s because...yeah :)

Sooooo @novadreamer95438 and @idkimbadwithusernamesandstuff you asked to be tagged if we uploaded more content about the canon divergence (Which we appreciate very much! thank you!) so here you go <3!

As mentioned before , Leroy starts living with his daughter Nova and Winston, in a house provided by the State (The Council hee hee).

Callum and Winston are (evidently) alive, but Genissa is dead.

Ace, Evander and Honey remain dead.

And this is where our canon continues uwu.

Leroy has to do community service for like...indefinite time :)

Winston, on the other hand, has two jobs. He works in an animal shelter, where he adopts a dog named Carnival bc wE CAN and also we want to quote this post :https://chiyuki-hiro.tumblr.com/post/621159663188180992/oh-no-a-head-canon by @chiyuki-hiro (AFGSHFVDGB THAT HEADCANON IS G R E A T WE LOVE YOU) because we had come to an agreement that Winston would have an art therapy group for children but this addition is honestly so freaking wholesome :’))))))) <3

Nova has a temporary resignation from patrolling and starts going to therapy, where she is diagnosed with PTSD.

Nova also helps with the establishment of a new system, modifies the recruitment system and that stuff.

She’s not in the Team Sketch full time. Sometimes she’s in the offices, and at night she works with Callum.

And just like Narcissa, she digs her own grave :)

Thing is: Nova suggested that every time a new recruit arrived, the Council had DNA samples taken from them so they could check if they had any crime attached to them.

Now, by the end of Supernova in the canon universe we elected to ignore it is mentioned that Maggie sees Leroy staring at her in the distance, in a very suspicious way. Now, we don’t know about y’all, but we interpreted this as Leroy noticing Maggie looks like young Nova XD. So, this does happen in our canon, when Leroy is already out of prison.

By this time, DNA samples from Maggie and Nova have already been taken and uploaded to the system; and let’s say that Leroy gets very...concerned about the lookalike and decides to tell Winston, who confirms Maggie looks a lot like Nova X’DDD and so, they reach out to the Council to ask them to pls compare Maggie’s samples to Nova’s. U know, like angry mothers at the principal’s office :)

And so they do it just because they have nothing to lose.

And when the results arrive, everyone’s like: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r92hykpvZRw

SO MAYBE, TO DOUBLE-CHECK, they compare Maggie’s DNA to DNA found in the crime scene (from David and Tala or maybe baby Maggie herself) and the results are still the same :).

Then, Winston and Leroy have to tell Nova and she reacts in the worst way possible for reasons I’ll explain in a fic I’ll be uploading soon cause’ I wrote it MONTHS ago.

Maggie doesn’t react much better tbh :)

But after a while, since this is, like, the right thing to do, Maggie starts living with them , but changes her name to Margaret Artino until she feels part of the family and is comfortable living there.

Because at first, Nova and her don’t get along and Maggie claims she fucking hates this house even though she knows is better than living in the streets.

They basically have a very chaotic home during the adaptation period until the girls start tolerating each other :) and even then, they’re still very chaotic bc it’s Winston, Leroy, Nova and Maggie we’re talking about :) :) :)

Not long after Maggie starts living with her big sis, Simon and Hugh ask Nova to join a family vacation and bring Maggie w/her.

Maggie doesn’t want to go, so Leroy and Winston go to Nova all like “If your sister doesn’t go, then you’re not going either” and Nova fucking loses it so she ends up begging/forcing Maggie to go :)

They go to the beach in MATCHING OUTFITS bc Simon said so (LIKE IN THE WIZARDS OF WAVERLY PLACE MOVIE) :) they take a lot of embarrassing pictures and Nova and Adrian are forced to go in the banana boat with Max and Maggie.

They fall and Nova and Adrian are acting as if they were in the Titanic while Max and Maggie are having the time of their lives lmao

BC NOVA ALSO NEEDS BONDING WITH THE IN-LAWS

At some point, too, Maggie adopts a stray cat whom she names Tofu, and he fucking hates Carnival even though Carnival is the cutest thing :’)

Winston, Leroy, Nova and Maggie celebrate birthdays every year bc they’re trying to compensate years of trauma.

And for that same reason (compensating years of trauma), Nova and Maggie take their sweet time to move out.

Actually, Adrian meticulously plans the date when he’s gonna propose to Nova, so he asks her to move with him exactly a year before that.

They live in an apartment for that whole year, he proposes and they start planning the wedding uwu.

Nova and Adrian have a non-religious ceremony, and since they’re fucking extra, Nova gets married in a black dress and Adrian in a white tuxedo bc miss Artino wanted a dress the same color as her soul :)

Leroy walks Nova down the aisle.

Ruby is Nova’s Maid of Honor and Oscar is Adrian’s Best Man.

Max and Maggie have the rings.

Tamaya’s youngest son is the flower child.

Which, talking about Tamaya, she fucking hates Leroy and Nova bc, honestly, we would hate them too. Leroy fucked up her face and Nova was part of the terrorist attack lmao

SO, YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW CHAOTIC THAT WEDDING WAS, bc they had to avoid leaving Tamaya and Leroy alone at all costs :)

She hugged Nova so violently when congratulating her, that she left a bruise in her shoulder :)

Basically she was there just because she loves Adrian even though she doesn’t approve his decision to marry Nova

Nova and Maggie maintain a close relationship even after Nova marries Adrian. Maggie and Max are included in every family vacation after the honeymoon ofc.

Nova and Maggie get matching tattoos uwu

Nova has the Big Dipper and Maggie has the Little Dipper.

As for the others. The ones who...are no longer there :’)

@healing-winston-pratt and I have this headcanon that Evander’s wife (we named her Sandra) was expecting a baby at the time of the battle. They had already chosen a first name (Arthur), so she used Evander as his middle name, as the baby didn’t get to meet his dad.

Arthur Evander Wade.

Winston finally gives Evander his DS back.

The Council, thanks to Nova’s suggestion once again, limited a specific area around Georgia’s spot and called it The Aisle of The Fallen.

Genissa, Honey and the victims of the attack to the Arena, the lift of the city and the battle of the Cathedral are there.

Evander, however, is resting in Georgia’s mausoleum, next to her, because we think that mausoleum was constructed in the first place so all the members of the Council could rest together once they left, meaning that they’ll all be there at some point in time. Unfortunately, Evander was the first one to join Georgia despite being the youngest.

Ace is not in the cemetery.

Nova left his helmet in the cathedral, but asked for his body to be cremated.

When she was a child, David used to tell her stories about how Ace seemed to be really happy back in Italy; how he had revolutionary ideas and wanted prodigies to be free; how he used to be a good brother that helped him survive.

So, a few months after Leroy was released from prison, she, Leroy, Winston, Hugh, Simon, Max and Adrian went to Italy with her, to spread Ace’s ashes so he could find peace in the only place he was ever sane and happy.

Ace Anarchy rests in his cathedral.

But what was left of Alec James Artino rests in Italy. (I have a fic about this too)

Yes we’re crying as we write this

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t4tozier · 4 years

Note

your trans Richie hcs are pure 24k gold!!! do you have any hcs on how he came out to the losers?

thank you love!!! and fuck yeah i do!!!

so it goes one of two ways:

1. they’re all hanging out together and he just blurts it out because he made the decision to tell them that day and once he did he had really bad anxiety about it so he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret or do it in any sort of organized way

or 2. he tells them all separately but in a short period of time for the same reason

and if that’s the case then this is how he does it!

stan

he comes out to stan first because he knows stan won’t judge him or make fun of him. not that any of them would and realistically he knows that but he’s still terrified and he trusts stan to react calmly to it

so he goes over to stans house and knocks on the door and then just walks in because that’s the kind of friends they are

stan will still knock and wait outside for someone to come to the door because he’s polite but richie knows stan and his parents don’t care if he just comes in so he gives no warning and just shows up whenever he wants

stan’s upstairs so he waves hello to stan’s parents and goes into his room and is just kind of awkwardly like “hey stan the man what’s crackalackin”

and stan just gives him a glance at first because he’s used to that kind of stuff from richie but then he takes in how he’s biting his lip and his fingers are touching themselves shakily to his thumbs and he knows something’s up

so he takes off his headphones and sits up straight and pats the bed next to him and just says “tell me what’s wrong, [deadname]” in that special tone he reserves just for richie when he gets like this and people may think it’s condescending but it’s not and richie knows it

but richie winces at the sound of his deadname—he hasn’t chosen a new name yet because he can’t find anything that fits but he just knows that that one’s wrong—and stan immediately frowns and there’s a glimmer of something in his eyes but he doesn’t quite get it yet

and richie looks down at his fidgeting hands, his leg jiggling like mad and just really quietly whispers “i’m trans” and his heart is beating like crazy but it feels like there’s a sudden weight off his chest because he’s never said it out loud before

and stan’s eyebrows raise just slightly and he puts his hand in between them, palm up, because richie doesn’t like to be touched all the time, but richie immediately grabs onto stan’s hand and squeezes like it’s the only thing keeping him on the ground

and very slowly his eyes raise to meet stan’s—or not quite meet, but close—and stan just smiles at him and whispers “okay” back and then richie grins and squeezes stan’s hand harder

and they stay like that for a little until richie gets fidgety again and pulls away, wiping his hand on his jeans, and then stan asks if richie wants him to use he/him for him and richie nods

“thank you for sharing that with me,” stan says softly, and even though they’re both young richie knows that he just gets it. “mom’s making chili if you wanna stay for dinner.” and that’s that.

richie does stay for dinner that night

bill

the next person he tells is bill because even though this isn’t what young teen richie is thinking is the reason he knows that bill knows what it’s like to feel completely alone in a crowd of people

they’re playing call of duty together on bill’s new ps4 because bill’s parents replace parenting with material things

and while that’s not what bill needs he has to admit it can be nice when he gets new video games

and he likes that richie’s “not like other girls” in that he likes playing video games with bill instead of playing with makeup

so anyway they’re playing call of duty and richie dies but instead of throwing the controller down and making frustrated noises like he usually does he just sets it down gently and turns to bill, pulling his knees up to his chest

and bill doesn’t pay much attention to it at first because while he’s very attuned to people’s feelings, he’s pretty focused on this game

so it’s not until he dies himself that he turns to richie and cocks his head and richie just blurts it out because sometimes bill stares at him in this way that makes him feel like he already knows the truth

but bill’s open mouth and raised eyebrows show that he had no idea, he just thought richie was a boyish girl

but richie squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, kind of like he’s trying to avoid looking at his friend’s reaction because he’s expecting it to be followed by him being told to leave

and bill starts, “h-h-hey, no, d-don’t w-w-worry—” and he’s about to say richie’s deadname when he realizes that’s probably not what he needs and it’s a good thing for once he stuttered before he could get it all out

and he’s a little more curious than stan was, at least outwardly, or at first, but he has more questions and richie doesn’t quite know how to answer all of them but he tries and it’s a little awkward but finally bill cracks a smile and turns back to the video game

and richie smiles shyly to himself before picking the controller back up and leaning into bill as they continue playing

mike

mike finds out because one day richie visits him at the farm, biked all the way out there, and he normally never does that unless there rest of them are with him

he doesn’t actually know richie’s there until he goes out to milk the cows, because richie’s standing in the middle of the field with his arms around one of the big cows and his face pressed into her neck

and mike is a little confused at first but then he grins and goes over to them, setting down his milk pail and the stool

and he greets richie happily and doesn’t notice how richie’s hands bunch in the cow’s fur

“teach me how to do farm work.”

it’s muffled, and mike frowns and has to ask him to repeat himself a couple times because richie doesn’t move his face from the cow’s neck, but then his eyes light up

“sure! dad would love to have some more help around the farm. is it just ‘cause you’re bored, or...?”

‘cause he knows richie needs more stimulation than he gets sometimes but conversely he needs less stimulation than he gets sometimes and the farm is perfect for both situations

but richie shakes his head and then slowly moves so that his cheek is pressed against the cow instead of his whole face

“i wanna get big like you. muscly.”

and mike’s never thought of himself as particularly muscular before so he blushes as he asks, “can i ask why?”

“so i look like a guy.”

and it takes some back and forth before mike finally understands that richie is transgender

and richie’s not stupid. he knows that not everything on the farm will get him muscular and that it takes a lot of work. he gets that part but he still wants to do it

so while mike stumbles sometimes because richie still doesn’t know his name so he’s not sure what to call him they start working together on the farm on weekends and richie has the fucking time of his life

ben

richie finds ben in the library after school one day while he’s waiting for maggie to come pick him up and he decides that now is a good time to tell him

so he plops himself down in front of ben and it takes him a while to notice that he’s even there because he’s so invested in his walt whitman book

and richie’s fidgety, fingers touching each other and shoulders up to his ears, but ben doesn’t notice for what seems like forever

it’s only three minutes

but when ben finally does he’s got the brightest smile on his face

richie secretly thinks that ben forgets he has friends sometimes which is why he’s always so happy to see them, ‘cause it’s a reminder that they haven’t left him

but he doesn’t say that

instead he loudly asks, “can i tell you something?” because volume control? never heard of her

and he’s immediately shushed by the librarian and he winces, but ben, who’s used to this, just smiles and leads richie out of the library so they can talk

richie paces as he tries to find the words to say what he wants to say and he thought it would be easier after the first three times but it’s not

he ends up talking about maggie picking him up instead of being trans for much longer but finally he tells him “and she said she’d be here at 3:30 exactly and now it’s 3:34 and she hasn’t texted me i haven’t told her i’m transgender yet but she’ll be here soon”

and it takes ben even longer to process and he’s way beyond the topic by the time he does and then he doesn’t quite stop him but he manages to get in a soft little comment of “that’s really cool! also i hope she picks you up soon”

he got picked up two minutes later and didn’t mention being trans again once

ben later brings it up to mike because he’s not entirely sure if he heard him right but it turns out he did! and he wants to support him but he’s not quite sure how

and mike just tells him to give it time because he doesn’t know if he’s told everyone yet

brady

richie’s kind of nervous to tell brady and he’s not sure why

probably because he’s way too cool for him and he’s scared he’s gonna judge him

he actually really hates the smell of smoke but it’s the only time brady’s ever by himself

so when brady sees richie making his way over to him he stubs out the cig and gives him a crooked smile

and richie’s intimidated as fuck because being the only girl in a group of guys is scary but brady’s the scariest guy of them all

brady doesn’t rush him, though, even though he knows there’s something up, and when richie eventually spills, he grins and just says, “cool. me too.”

and thats how richie finds out brady is bev

she tells him she’s known for a long time but she didn’t know how they’d take it, but now that richie’s come out she feels much more comfortable with it

she offers to give him some of her clothes that’ll probably be a little too big but in exchange she’ll take his dresses and flowy shirts

and even though richie knows that all his friends will support him he’s elated to have a trans friend because he didn’t know any other trans person and now not only does he, she’s one of his best friends

eddie

richie’s the most scared to come out to eddie

it’s no secret that he’s sheltered, in every sense of the word

and he’s terrified that eddie won’t want to be his friend anymore when he finds out

he walks him home from school because he doesn’t know how else to get to him

sonia won’t let eddie hang out with him because she thinks he’ll corrupt him or something, eddie’s never been really clear about it but all richie knows is that he’s not allowed over

but they walk home together, richie’s hands clenching and unclenching rapidly and eddie running his fingers along the soft lining of his coat

they’re both nervous, richie for obvious reasons and eddie because he doesn’t know why richie’s walking him home

even as eddie’s going on about some car that richie knows nothing about but is still eager to listen to, he’s wondering what’s going on and if something bad happened because he’s usually only alone with one of them if something bad happened like when bill told him georgie died

and richie’s hands clench faster and faster until they can’t hold back the words he’s trying to hold back and he blurts out, “i’m a transgender boy and i hope you still wanna be my friend because we’re best friends and i don’t want your mom to find out and take you away from me.”

and eddie’s so taken aback he stops in his tracks, his mind still racing with thoughts about the car but now occupied with this new information

and at first richie’s right. he’s a little scared. because he’s never known any transgender person and his mom has always told him that gay and transgender people were bad

but then he realizes that this is richie, this is his best friend, and if they were best friends one minute ago there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be best friends now

so he smiles and nods and asks him a couple questions because he’s barely even heard of being transgender and richie isn’t much better equipped to answer them any more than he was when bill asked them but he leans into eddie as they walk home and eddie leans into him back and it’s really okay

and once all the losers know, they get together at the quarry and have a little coming out party where bev also comes out and that raises the question of what richie’s name is going to be

and it takes some debating but when richie comes up with his name he knows in that moment nothing will ever feel more right than being richie, surrounded by all his friends who accept him for exactly who he is and never expect anything from him like other people do. he’s richie fucking tozier, and he’s never been more proud to be him.

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boleyn-falcon · 4 years

Text

Unlikely Shepard

So here it is! i finally finished the one-shot for @moan-jeutas with the prompt “you’re bleeding” with reluctant caretaker Jane and Joan!

synopsis - Joan is sick and the Ladies in waiting call in a very reluctant Jane Seymour to handle it while they are doing the show for things to just take a bad turn.

Trigger warnings - Vomiting, illness, blood/pus, open wound, skin picking/scratching - tell me if i need to add anymore!

words - 3012

Joan had been insisting that she was fine for about a week, that was clearly a lie. For the past few days she's been running fevers,aching, having headaches, all of those kinds of things but still came to work as if she was right as rain. She was about as “right” as a category five hurricane on a small island. Joan thought if she didn't show up to work they would fire her and everyone would hate her, so she had never missed a day of work. She woke up around 7 as normal, but right as she began to get out of bed a searing pain shot through her abdomen. She was taken aback by this, literally and metaphorically and fell back onto her bed. ‘Shit that's not good’, the pianist thought, she tried to stand once more but all she managed to do was fall face first onto her carpet. All that came out of her was a low grunt and pained “Ow-damnit”. She laid there for a solid five minutes to see if the pain would subdue but it just got worse and worse.

She eventually, but very slowly, made it to the kitchen to see Maria making her morning coffee. She stumbled past her and to the cabinet to grab some ibuprofen but was stopped by the drummer in her tracks. “Are you okay Palomita? You don’t look well, should we call in the-”, Maria was stopped mid sentence by the blonde. “No no! Heh don’t worry, im fine, yep completely okay to work”, right as she finished her sentence another wave of sharp pains hit her like a truck, causing her knees to give out. She hit the tile with a small whisper-like attempt at a shriek that just came out as a pained squeal and wrapped her arms around her torso. Maria was quick to grab her bridal style and get her to the couch with the pain killers and a glass of water.

Right as Joan is settled onto the coach Bessie and Maggie finally decide to come down stairs. “Shit is Joey okay?”, Maggie said worriedly as she picked up her pace and found her way to her friend’s side on the couch. “No, i'll call in and say that me and her need to stay home today”, Maira stopped as she heard a groan to her side, “No i promise i'm fine just-”, “No Joan, your staying whether you like it or not”, Bessie said firmly. Bessie turned and walked into the kitchen as she began to call someone. “Hey Seymour you know how you have a lot of free days saved up?... Yea so do you mind coming over for a day and watching Joan?.. Okay thanks, she was just ill and all, yea text me when you're on your way over”. The rest of the ladies looked to the black haired bassist with confusion, waiting for her to explain. “Jane is going to stop by for the day to take care of Joan while we are at the show”, Bessie said nonchalantly. “Wait”, the drummer started. “ how’d you convince her to do that so easily?”, “Well she owed me one so yea she was hesitant but she didn't really argue it” .

You would think the timid blonde would love the idea of Jane coming over to take care of her right? Well sort of, Joan loved to idea of spending time with Jane, but she doesnt wanna be clingly or say somthing stupid to make Jane hate her. The anxiety bubbling in her stomach only got worse a few minutes later as she heard knocking at the door, she knew exactly who it was. All Joan could really do is curl up in a ball with her blanket over her head like a child hiding from a monster under her bed. She thought if she just imagined Jane wasn't even there it would make things better, she was wrong.

Maggie got up from her friend’s side to answer the door, she only hoped the Queen could help. She opened the door to see the Blonde queen with a duffle bag and an unreadable expression. “Heh heeey Jane, come on in..”, the burnette opened the door more to let her in. Jane immediately went over to the bassist who was sitting on the floor next to the couch. “So what symptoms does she have? Anything like fever or vomiting?”,Bessie got to her feet to get eye to eye with the taller women, “All we really know is that she’s in pain and as pale as an egg shell”, a small groan came from the mound covered in blankets on the couch from being compared to an egg. Jane just tilted her head and gave a confused look to the raven-haired woman. “ Wait wait, so you called me over to skip a day of work to take care of some cramps and her complection?”, Jane asked with an unamused tone,looking over to the pile of pianist on the small couch. Bessie gave a disgruntled look to the queen, “well she’s obviously in pain and needs to be looked after so nothing bad happens and you have the most vacation days… and remember the streetlight Seymour”. Jane gave a defeated look as she set her stuff down on the floor near the coffee table. Maira and Maggie just gave confused glances but decided not to question what ‘the streetlight’ was.

The next few minutes was just the Ladies in Waiting, minus Joan of course, getting ready for the day and Jane setting up the living room for the day. Maggie slyly shuffled into Bessie’s dimly lit room and gave out a small ‘ahem’ noise to signal her presence in the room. The shorter girl turned around and shot her friend a small smile, “Hey Mags what's up? Need a hair tie or something?”. Maggie gave a worried look to her bandmate, “Do you think Joey will be okay? I know Jane will be here and all but I'm still a bit worried..”, the bassist walked forward to put a reassuring hand on the guitarist’s shoulder, “Don’t worry yourself Mag, she’ll be okay, trust me okay?”, Maggie gave a slight nod and a small smile as she left the room to continue changing.

Maria was having her own little bit of worry. She finished her hair and clothes as soon as she could so she could check on her little dove. She knew how Jane and Joan’s relationship was, Jane was cold towards the clingy girl most of the time but she knew there was some part of the queen there that loved the girl dearly, she just had to let it out. The drummer also hoped Joan wouldn’t get too anxious and make herself even sicker and make things worse. She saw it before on Cathrine’s deathbed, the more worried she got, the more her sickness consumed her. She just didn’t want a repeat of what happened all those centuries ago. She quickly walked down the stairs to find Joan still in her small blanket caccoon and Jane in thier pantery. Maria walked over to the pantry where Jane seemed to be searching for something. The curly haired woman reached over and shut the door to the pantry and guided the queen over to the fridie and pulled out a container of soup. The taller woman gave a confused look as she was handed what she was looking for, “It’s broccoli and cheddar, her favorite” Maria then grabbed a lone spoon from the counter and handed it over. “Huh funny, it’s Anne’s favorite too”, Maria cut her off slightly, “Maggie’s too, I guess Anne and her ladies all had a similar taste in soups”. Jane poured the container as the gears in her head started to turn, ‘oh yea Joan was one of Anne’s maids of honor’, she finished warming up the soup and walked into the living room to find the rest of the band waiting. “So”, the Bassist started, “We are off but make sure to take good care of her Seymour, if not you know what will happen”, both women gave a knowing look, still leaving the other two muscians confused as ever.

Maggie bent down to the bundle of blankets and gave it a nudge. A mess of blonde hair popped up from the blankets with a grumpy look that quickly changed as she saw who had disturbed her. “How you feelin’ Joey? Any better?”, Joan only gave a small huff and a sad look back at her friend. Maggie then revealed what she had in her hand to her sick comrade, a teal hoodie with a black guitar on the front. She handed it out towards the sickly girl who quickly grabbed it. “We’ll be back soon, little Roo”, Maggie gave a smile as Joan held the hoodie close with a barely audible ‘thank you’.

The band finally left with a choir of ‘Love you’’s and ‘get better’’s. Jane finally got a chance to sit down and assess the situation. She sat the hot soup bowl down with a napkin and a spoon on the coffee table in front of Joan, ready to get to work. “Okay Joan, how are you feeling? Can you let me feel your temperature so I can see if I need to give you anything for a fever or not?”, Joan anxiously sat up from her blanket cocoon to finally address Jane. She bit her lip shyly as she decided to actually speak to her queen. “W-well I've been having waves of really bad pain in my stomach a-and I’m kinda nauseous, oh yea-yea you can check my temperature”, the pianist gave a worried glance to the older woman as she leaned forward and touched her lips to her forehead. Jane’s head shot back in surprise, “Joan you're practically on fire! You gotta take all of those blankets off, and go change out of those fuzzy pajamas and into a tank top and shorts”. The pale girl got up carefully and slowly made her way up the stairs to her room so she could change.

‘Jeez’ Jane thought, ‘It can't be that bad, I mean colds happen all the time she could have probably handled this herself, yea she completely could’. Jane places all of her cold medicines on the coffee table and walks into the kitchen to find an ice pack to put on the younger girl’s head till her fever let up. Right as she reaches the freezer she hears a large ‘thunk’ come from up stairs. Jane first thought nothing of it till she got back to the living room with a mickey mouse ice pack in hand, realizing Joan has been changing for 8 minutes now. She put the ice pack down and walked up the stairs to Pianist’s room to find the girl sprawled out on the carpet. She had only some navy athletic shorts on and a sports bra with a white tank top a few feet away from her body. As Jane bent down to get the girl up she noticed she had begun shivering like it was below freezing. She quickly scooped the girl up in her arms and speedily got her to the couch to lay her down. Her eyes were half open but also seemed pained. The now concerned caregiver put the small ice pack on the girl’s burning forehead and nodged the girl’s shoulder. “Joan..? can you talk to me at all?”, the sickly girl only gave a small whimper as she closed her eyes and dozed off. The motherly queen was originally very reluctant to help the clingy young girl, but her worsening state made her a lot more concerned for the poor girl’s health. She was slightly glad Joan could get some rest for that would surely help.. Right?

About 3 hours passed and the pale MD was still passed out. Jane had eventually put the soup back in the fridge and started reading a book on her phone, waiting for the girl to wake. The queen finally took a break from her novel and started to give the sick girl a good look to find anymore concerning symptoms she may have when she spotted something odd. She got closer to get a better look to only find a gnarly scab right above the girl’s hip. The area around it was raw and red, with even a hint of green and white showing infection. A lightbulb finally went off in her head, ‘This isn't a normal cold, it's an infection caused by this wound, but how did it happen?’. The older woman was put out of her train out thought by Joan stirring in her sleep. The stirr soon turned into thrashing as her legs started to kick and silent tears streamed down her face. Jane quickly jumped into action, she took the sick musician by the shoulders and shook her. “Wake up Joan! C’mon wake up!”, Joan’s eyes shot open and she started to trash even more to break out of the blonde’s grip. Her hands found their way to her damaged hip and began to scratch relentlessly.

Jane quickly grabbed the girl’s wrists and pinned them above her head, but it was too late. “You’re… bleeding”, the wound on Joan’s hip had been reopened by the scratching and started to bleed and ooze pus. The MD began to sob uncontrollably and hyperventilate. The blonde queen finally let go of Joan’s wrist to grab some antiseptic and large plasters. Before Jane could stop her, Joan got up and attemped to get to the bathroom but collapsed half way there and threw up onto the wooden floor. Jane was extremely overwhelmed, she set the medical supplies down and walked over to joan and tried to sit her upright so she wasn't lying next to her own bile on the floor. She grabbed the napkin in her pocket and cleaned Joan’s mouth, she carried the ill girl over to the toilet in case she needed to get more out. The older blonde quickly walked back to grab the medical supplies so she could clean up the infected wound as soon as she could.

The choked sobs of the pale girl continued until she felt arms wrap around her. “It's okay Little Lamb, you’ll be okay just calm down for me”, Jane’s soft voice made Joan’s sobs slowly diminish and just turned into a silent cry. The pair sat there for a solid ten minutes, all Jane did was whisper comforting words and keep her hold on Joan, making sure she had time to calm down.

The queen carried the MD back to her spot on the couch and handed her Maggie’s jacket to hold while she cleaned up the bile from the floor. When she returned she had a bottle of antiseptic and a towel in her hands. Joan gave a confused and worried look to her caregiver. “Okay Joan can you turn on your side for me sweetheart?”, the pianist hesitantly obliged, Jane put the towel on the couch and Joan’s lower back area and sighed. “This is going to hurt a bit Little Lamb.. I promise it’ll be over soon but i have to do this ..”, the concerned woman poured the antiseptic on the infected gash and Joan let out a heart wrenching shriek that shook the house. The wounded girl squirmed and held tightly onto the teal hoodie in her arms as she tried not move even more than she already was. Jane continued to clean the bloody and pus covered wound to the best of her ability and finished it off with a large plaster.

After a few minutes Jane sat next to the ill girl and put a comforting arm around her,“I know that you probably don’t wanna talk about it but i'll ask anyway, but why Joan? What caused you to do this to yourself?”. Joan shuffled uncomfortably but she figured she might as well tell the queen the truth, she did just clean up her throw up after all, she deserved the truth. “I...I just get so sacred and so anxious, it just happens I guess, it's an outlet of sorts”, Jane gave a concerned glance, “But why are you so scared and anxious? Is something going on Little Lamb?”. The pianist paused but decided to spill her guts, “Everyone hates me i just know it, I’m too helpless and too clingy… and if i can’t do my job right people are gonna hate me even more then they will fire me and then i'll be useless…”. Jane stared silently at the girl next to her for a moment and thought, ‘Had Joan really been suffering this much? Was her coldness making this all worse? This needs to change and it needs to change now’. Jane wrapped Joan in a bear hug as the sick blonde began to silently cry again.

“Joan”, Jane started slowly, “You need to listen, no one hates you, I promise, not any of the queens and especially not your girls. We all love you very much Joan, we care about you so very much, we will always be here for you”, she finished with a soft smile. She held Joan tight and kissed her temple as the ill girl began to calm down. “So how about we watch some movies? Will that help at all Little Lamb?”, Joan nodded and looked up at the queen, “Can we watch Aritocats..?”, Jane nodded and turned on the Tv and put on the movie. They laid back comfortably and started to watch. Joan moved to lay on Jane’s chest and that's how she stayed till her bandmates came home to find her sleeping while Jane continued her book.

“Good job Seymour, thank you”, Bessie whispered as she moved the tired blonde from Jane to her room. The Taller women gave a small smile as she left, thankful that she helped the ill girl when she needed it most.

-----------------------------------------

wow okay I stayed up till 5AM to finish this while also drugged up on adderall and I think it actually turned out kinda good, i mean i still suck at writing but hey what can’ya do? and its my first angsty kinda fic so it prolly sucks more lol

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kaspbrak-tozier-reddie · 5 years

Note

12, 26, 37 with Reddie?

12. “Can’t sleep? You can stay here.”

26. “You cheated! There’s no second chance.”

37. Fake relationship AU

Warnings: stalking, ex-boyfriend, swearing, mentions of homophobia, underage drinking and drug use.

I honestly suck at angst, I apologise

———————————————————————

“Eddie, please stop fucking pacing,” Richie groans for the umpteenth time.

“Rich, what if he finds out where I am?” Eddie panics; and has been for the past 4 weeks since he broke up with his boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend.

“If he did, he would’ve already come here.” Eddie doesn’t stop pacing even though he agrees with what Richie is saying.

He’s been staying at Riche’s rundown apartment for 4 weeks since the inevitable break up. Too upset with himself, his ex-boyfriend had started stalking his friends to make sure they weren’t going to take him away from him. Especially Richie. It was like that throughout the year, Damian was growing more and more cautious of Richie.

Yes, Richie, Stan, Bill and Eddie were close, but Damian hated the way that Richie always had to have a hand on Eddie whenever he wasn’t in the picture. The photos and videos that he often saw online made him red with anger and green with jealousy.

Richie needed to go.

So Damian made sure that Eddie had no means of contacting his friends again. He stole Eddie’s phone and deleted numbers and social media platforms. He stalked Eddie and his friends to make sure that they never crossed paths.

Eddie had found out through one of Damian’s exes, Lucy had told Eddie about the manipulative behaviour, making it seem as if his friends never wanted to speak to Eddie ever again. Eddie, of course, didn’t believe her and kept with the relationship.

It didn’t take long before he had spotted Damain’s car outside of his apartment, he was still in his car and what seemed to be binoculars. Eddie moved away from the window and ran to his bedroom. He felt alone, he couldn’t call Richie as he didn’t have his number memorised, he couldn’t call Bev, or Stan, or any of his friends.

This went on for another month, Eddie planned on breaking up with Damian but needed a solid plan. He knew that Damian was cheating on him, he didn’t know how long but he caught the two hooking-up in the back of Eddie’s car. If he did it over text, he would be safe, if he did it over a phone call - also safe. In person, he wouldn’t be safe.

****

“I should’ve left sooner, especially when he deleted and blocked all of your numbers!” Eddie starts to tear up.

Now he knows how Richie felt after all those times he had snuck into Eddie’s bedroom. The harsh reality of being scared and having no safety barriers, well at least Richie had safety barriers, but Eddie didn’t.

Richie had his friends to turn to. Bev was his drunk and high buddy, that was where he went every second Friday night. Eddie was where he’d go if things were extremely bad, sneaking in at all hours of the night, usually in tears. Nobody knew what Richie’s home life was like, except Eddie. Bev was told nothing in their drinking and weed sessions, just that he hated his parents but with no clear explanation.

Eddie had no one, all his lifelines were closed because of his bastard ex-boyfriend. Sure he could’ve gone to Richie’s apartment but he couldn’t risk it. He’d never forgive himself if something happened to Richie. But he knew that if given the chance, Richie would do the exact same thing that Eddie had done for him for all those years.

A ping comes from Richie’s phone, an unknown number has sent him a photo, a clear view of Richie’s balcony, from across the street “Eds, get inside.” Richie murmurs not looking up from his phone. The way Richie had said the two words is enough to get Eddie sprinting into the safety of the apartment, Richie quickly follows and drags Eddie his bedroom.

****

“M-my inhaler. W-w-where’s my in-inhaler?” Eddie pats down every pocket but can’t find his inhaler that he always keeps on him. The tall boy beside him reaches into his own jeans and pulls out an all too familiar blue inhaler.

“I got a spare in case.” Eddie smiles up at Richie and takes a couple of puffs of the inhaler. Even though he never needed it, the inhaler always comes in handy for stressful situations, it’s a habit he’s determined to break once this whole ex-boyfriend thing calms down.

“You know, I got lucky,” Eddie whispers quietly, slowly sitting down on Richie’s bed.

“What do you mean?” Richie asks, he plunks down beside Eddie, gently rubbing his back.

“He cheated on me and I took that as my sign to leave.” Eddie hiccups while trying to stop an embarrassing sob escape his lips. “It wasn’t the controlling behaviour or the discrediting words it was the fact that he cheated!” He leans into Richie’s touch and slowly tilts his head onto his shoulder.

Eddie didn’t understand, he doesn’t understand why this happened to him. He’s already been through hell and back with his mom shoving lies down his throat, the fact that he couldn’t open up about his sexuality until college in fear of bullying and being kicked out of the very Christian town because homophobia was a bitch back then He finally met a guy that he liked and that guy ended up being manipulative, he didn’t take the first 2 red flags as a warning to get out, instead it was the cheating.

“Eddie, you have never had an actual loving relationship with anyone, besides the losers.” Richie starts, “what he was doing, you may have seen it as love but it isn’t.”

“How do I know what real love is like?”

“It’s different for everyone, remember what our friendship with the Losers was like?” Eddie nods. “Exactly like that but more intimate.”

It breaks Richie’s heart, the way that Eddie has been treated. It wasn’t the fear that gravitated Eddie towards Richie, it was the guilt that Eddie had when Richie had confronted Eddie about it 6 months into his relationship with Damian. Eddie should’ve left but he didn’t, wanting to truly believe that Damian loved him.

“You know, we can make him super jealous.” Richie perks up at Eddie’s words.

“I’m listening.”

“We fake date.” Richie is sure he almost had a heart attack, this is his dream coming true, except he isn’t actually going to be dating Eddie, only fake dating.

****

A few weeks after Eddie’s ‘fake dating’ suggestion, Richie and Eddie decide to finally make this fake relationship be seen by the public. Eddie felt like he was ready to push the boundaries and bring Damian out from the shadows. So the two set out on a date to the local cafe. It isn’t packed like it normally is, it was quiet. Richie stops suddenly at a table by the entrance, making Eddie walk right into Richie’s tall broadening frame. “Are you sure?” Eddie asks.

“That is the point of this, isn’t it? To be seen?” Richie responds.

“Right, sorry, forgot.” Eddie sits down across from Richie, the kaleidoscope of butterflies start to fly around in the pit of his abdomen, his heart rattles inside his chest. Why’s he nervous? He doesn’t know. He can’t fathom it.

By the looks of things, Richie has actually tried to look presentable, something that Eddie hasn’t seen since Senior prom or maybe graduation? What once was stubble is now clean, his hair was brushed and was a voluminous curly mess. The clothes that Richie had chosen are freshly clean and aren’t wrinkled. There’s a subtle hint of cologne instead of his usual deodorant. It isn’t normal, if Eddie was Stan, his OCD would be sky-rocketing by now.

Richie moves his seat so that he was beside Eddie, instead of in front of him. His breathing hitches as Richie’s hand grazes his hand as he reaches for the cold water that is sitting in the middle of the table.

“What are you going to have?” Richie asks.

“Maybe some avocado toast, I’m not really hungry,” Eddie replies, Richie shrugs and heads in to order. Eddie pulls out his wallet so that he could pay Richie back for his breakfast, quickly glancing at the menu, “$13?” Of course, he was also getting a coffee, so maybe it wasn’t that expensive.

“Right, now where were we?” The voice didn’t belong to Richie, it was the voice that could send shivers down anyone’s spine, it is all too familiar.

“I think you should leave,” Eddie says. “Before my boyfriend comes back.”

“Boyfriend? I’m your boyfriend.”

“Damian, go away, I won’t hesitate to call the cops.” Damian sits down just as Richie comes into view. Eddie races to Richie and claims his lips onto his. It was forceful and demanding, it makes Richie stumble back before he kisses the shorter man back.

“Well well well, my suspicions were true about you Tozier.”

“Damian.” The name comes out in a hiss from Richie’s Trashmouth. “You should go, wouldn’t want to cause any issues now would we?”

“I came to claim what is rightfully mine.”

Eddie scoffs, all the bottled up anger that he had suppressed for 5 weeks is about to blow. Sure he may be ‘short’ and ‘wheezy’ according to most but he sure as hell could pack a punch. “What is rightfully yours? Am I an object to you? You cheated on me, you don’t get a second chance. You took my friends away when I really needed them. Goodbye Damian, oh and I informed the police of your little stalking trips. Have a nice life.” Eddie waves him off and kisses Richie again

“Wow, that was some kiss,” Richie breathes out, Eddie smiles and sits back down and hands Richie the $13. “No, this is on me.”

“But this is what we always do.”

“No, this is a date so I’m paying, like the good boyfriend I am.”

“Rich, we did it, the game’s up.”

Richie sighs, “Eds, I like you. A lot. These past few weeks, I wasn’t pretending to be your boyfriend.”

“Rich -”

“Let me finish. I fell in love with you when you first let me into your bedroom after Maggie verbally abused me and Worthless pushed me into a mirror causing it to shatter and cut me. You patched me up, sure you had cleaned my wounds before, but you were there for me when no one else was.”

“Richie, we were 12. You couldn’t have -” Eddie stops himself.

“You showed me compassion, you let me cry. You gave me a second home instead of letting me sleep on the streets. You punched Henry Bowers in the face and kicked him in the balls when he called me gay slurs.” Eddie can tell that Richie’s on the verge of tears. “Yes we were 12 but I knew what love was because it was something my parents didn’t give me. The butterflies in my stomach, the flushing of my face whenever you caught me staring ...”

“Eds, I started to cover it up with dick jokes and jokes about your mother because my crush on you was getting obvious. Stan kept eyeballing me, Bev started to tease me, Ben wanted to talk about pining thinking we were one and the same. And poor Bill had to warn me about concealment when he saw that I got a hardon because of you at senior prom.” Eddie feels his face turn red from embarrassment, Richie was close to yelling and everyone had potentially heard about Richie’s boner only 5 years ago.

With that, Eddie left, he handed Richie the $13 and an extra $13 upon leaving. It’s all too much, Damian crashing Richie’s and Eddie’s ‘date’, Eddie kissing Richie twice and finally Richie telling Eddie how he feels. It’s all too much. He couldn’t sit there any longer.

****

Later that night, Eddie couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but still remained awake. With no other option, he walked down the road to Richie’s apartment complex. It was a much nicer building and had much nicer apartments, it was more expensive than Eddie’s. But then again, Richie is earning more, working three jobs, one at a radio station and another at a music store, and the monthly comedy gig at one of the many bars in the neighbourhood.

The elevator ride up feels slow, like Eddie was on cloud 9. It’s like he’s in a dream but no, he’s in reality with the lack of sleep and so he feels a little loopy. It’s 10 at night so Richie should theoretically be home from the station.

The loud ding from the elevator brings Eddie out of his dazed trance and heads for Richie’s apartment door. 606, 608, 609 ... 612 bingo! Eddie knocks on the purple coated door hoping that Richie is home.

“Eds?” Saying that Richie is shocked is an understatement, he was sure that when Eddie left him earlier that day, that he had fucked up their friendship.

“I uh -”

“Can’t sleep either? You can stay here.” Richie says. “I’ll make us some hot chocolate.”

“Rich, wait.” Eddie closes the door behind him and walks towards Richie. “I was -” Eddie couldn’t be bothered to form the rest of the sentence so he kisses him instead. It’s short and not forceful like the one at the cafe but it was sweet.

“I fucked up, I had an opportunity to ask you out in high school, I had an opportunity to take you to prom. You asked me to live with you and I turned you down. I then fucked up even more when I went out with the first guy I laid eyes on because I thought you no longer liked me.”

“When?” Richie asks. If this is a joke, if Eddie is making fun of him for falling in love with the hypochondriac, he’s definitely going to lose it.

“I found out you carried my spare inhaler when we were 14, you memorised all 60 of my allergies, 55 of them are fake and so you memorised the ones that aren’t.” Eddie blushes and walks closer to the tall comedian. “You didn’t give two fucks when I sat in the hammock with you, or when I sat in your lap. The last two made me realise that maybe you liked me too.”

Richie can’t wait, he kissed Eddie.

“I secretly love it when you call me ‘Eds’.” Richie gasps, he called it! He knew it was too good to be true whenever Eddie told him that he hated it. Richie instantly kisses him again, not wanting to stop but knows that if he isn’t careful it’ll go in a direction that would be too soon for both of them.

#reddie #eddie x richie #richie x eddie #edward kaspbrak #eddie kaspbrak #richard tozier #richie tozier #kaspbrak tozier reddie #it chapter 2

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hcneydspite · 4 years

Text

Hated the sound of eight pairs of feet in the house until she discovered that silence was a greater demon. Impeccable necklaces, creaseless blouses, the smell of deep vanilla perfume. She may be an utter mess but she certainly isn’t going to look like it.

go on, replace me, when you’re craving something sweeter than the words i left in your mouth, go on and spit me out

NAME — margaret elise amano

NICKNAMES — maggie, mags

PRONOUNS — she/her.

AGE & DOB — 20 & september 17th, 1998.

PLACE OF BIRTH — portland, oregon.

MAJOR — forensic science.

EDUCATION — astor academy.

ACTIVITIES — dance (ballet, contemporary, jazz), arsonists.

* background overview !

Her parents didn’t know they were raising a tightly wound spring. After all, it was hard to find time to dote on each child when you were overwhelmed by all of them. Maggie landed perfectly in the middle of all her siblings, her parents having large hearts and wanting to share their love. They did that well, they raised all their kids to be kind, tender hearted, and open to others. She was everything someone could hope for their daughter to be: cute, caring, girly, rather quiet, but best of all, showing a love for dance. From a young age, she discovered she thrives in the praise given to her by anyone, the sweet words fueling her self esteem. The bubbly little girl loved the compliments, accepting them with a soft smile and polite ‘thank you’. Maggie was the type to actually study for her spelling tests, not wanting to be anything less than perfect in an attempt to make herself stand out from her family. Her parents would check on her at night, when she should have been sleeping only to find her awake and practicing what she had learned at rehearsals in front of her mirror.

As she got older, her drive for that same attention, that praise and recognition, only grew as she expanded her talents. In high school, she made the infamously competitive dance team and aimed for captain as soon as it was within her reach. Her involvement grew beyond that into honor society, student council, and volunteering at the dance studio in town to teach younger kids. Her grades were never subpar, she knew that if she wanted the compliments and gratitude she needed more than she needed air she had to earn it. There were times where her parents or siblings would find her crying over statistics homework or an upcoming chemistry exam, taking a moment to reassure her that her best would be enough. It was something about the way those words made her feel, that convinced her she never wanted to settle for anything less than perfect. She needed the high perfection brought her.

Something she strived to be was the perfect well rounded student. Maggie wasn’t immune to the lure of house parties or late night pancake runs with friends, those moments were her escape, a break where she didn’t have to work to define herself and solidify her name. Her friends were a bit of a saving grace, grounding her for a moment. She was able to make mistakes and not be the perfect ballerina image she desperately clung to. The moments she spent with them felt scheduled still, ‘you take take this break now maggie’, ‘you can go drinking with them tonight but not tomorrow’, or ‘going out to the beach for funnel cake won't ruin all the work you put in as long as you make up for it later’.

Her parents convinced her to pick a major that would serve as a ‘backup’ to her dance career, they said it was a failsafe, a protective measure. Maggie hated the thought of needing anything else, but did it to please them, finding something that seemed vaguely interesting to her.

At the end of her sophomore year of college, there was a final showcase where she was able to perform the duet she and her partner had been furiously perfecting that entire year. It was a slip, human error that ended with a loud pop and a snapped achilles. The injury was bad, yet not career ending. For Maggie, however, it was those several months of tedious recovery that drove her down into a spiral. When the doctor had told her about her injury and recovery time, the spring that held her together snapped.

since then, she’s has surgery and has been in physical therapy to rebuild the strength she lost. despite her efforts to get back to where she had been, it’s the furthest from being the same thing. there’s no joy that comes from the physical therapist telling her ‘good job’. she’s turned to her friends in the last several months more often than she had before, clinging to the person they knew her to be, the friend, the dancer she was in their eyes.

* about/personality !

she’s like,,,the person that isn’t afraid to knock you down a few pegs but will do so with the sweetest smile on her face to really seal the deal

she’s actually really sweet, very genuinely nice if you haven’t wronged her or anyone she cares about.

is a little tightly wound like half the time and pretty heavily relies on her friends to keep her sane

can kinda be a little intense, will stop at nothing to be perfect in anything she sets her mind to do

she’s probably a little hesitant to start new things because of that too? like, she doesn’t ever want to be BAD at things so she just avoids it

maggie will refuse to let anyone see her have moments of weakness, it’s not you, it’s her

she’s just a little obsessed w dance. and a little broken now that she can’t.

maggie is the type to have brought her friends into the dance studio to teach them the choreography from high school musical, i don’t make the rules

she’s really does enjoy forensics, but that’s probably because criminal minds was something she used to watch religiously in high school

maggie secretly enjoys seeming like the girl who’s only in ballet because it’s a “girly” sport, because it makes her seem that much better once she shows her full potential

she’s the type of observant that knows exactly what to get someone for their birthday without looking like they tried way too hard

after the injury, she felt like the spring that held her together snapped and knocked everything inside loose. so now she’s quietly trying to put all her pieces back together but not exactly having an easy time with it.

* aesthetics !

candle lights, the breathlessness felt when seeing big city skylines, bare feet in the morning, tart strawberries dipped in sugar, iced coffee in mason jars, long swooping cursive, empty water bottles, setting a new pen against fresh paper, missed calls at 2am, standing under an umbrella in the middle of a thunderstorm, neat braids, leotards and pointe shoes, soft pillows, golden hour.

* wanted plots !

i’m the worst at coming up with things but,,,,, here’s a few

general friends: we can expand and make each Unique

best friends: someone that’s been by her side since going to astor, someone she’d literally trust with her whole life

ride or dies: honestly what it says, maybe like two or three of them that have been through the thick and thin of it but still have a really strong friendship in the end?

confidant: honestly, probably someone she’s close with, but doesn’t see on a regular basis? it helps if they’re not someone she’d see all the time, that way she’s not constantly staring her admission of weakness in the face

bad influence: someone who can teach her to let go and get out more, care less about dance or her parents?

exes ( good, bad, anything in between ): you know the drill, hit me with the good angst. (male, female, nb)

roommate ( someone after the idealist maybe? ): she’s not as bad of a roommate as you’d think. she has eight siblings, she knows how to share.

hook ups: you also know this drill, sometimes you gotta blow off steam. (male, female, nb)

#/. intro #astorooc

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5hfanfiction · 5 years

Text

Love, Lauren (Camren)

Part Four: Identity

Identity /ʌɪˈdɛntɪti/ (noun) - The fact of being who or what a person or thing is.

***

Journal Entry #3

Dear Diary, A couple days ago, I heard the strangest thing being whispered into my ear. ‘To állo misó’ which basically means 'the other half’ and ever since then, I can’t help but think about it. I know a lot of strange things have been happening to me ever since I got this journal, but why was any of this really happening?

Yesterday was my first day working as a bartender, I can’t say that I hated the job, because I actually liked it. I saw Elena with her dad there. She smiled at me and we actually spoke a lot longer than we had in months. I was shocked to say the least.

But then, there was Eliana, Maggie’s sister. I had learnt from one of my coworkers that her name was Camila. I’ve haven’t seen her as yet, and every time Maggie tried to introduce us, she was literally always busy. But somehow, I felt drawn to her. Every time I would catch a glimpse of her, something within me would make me want to get closer to her. It was an unexplainable feeling but it would disappear as soon as Camila would leave my vision. I yearned to see what this woman had looked like and if she was as remotely beautiful as Maggie, I don’t know what I would’ve done.

I closed the book, promising that I would finish my journal entry another time, just as my roommate Renee popped into my bedroom. We had been talking a bit more than usual and I took a liking to her. I learnt that she and Elena were pretty close friends, so she knew about our history but she never brought it up.

Thankfully.

“Hey,” Renee smiled. “I just got back from class and I bought some Chinese takeout. Want some?”

I shrugged. It was approaching the time I had to leave for my shift, and though I could’ve gotten food at work, who was I to pass up even more free food?

“Sure. Thanks, but I’ll grab food for us the next time.”

We sat in the kitchen and passed around some boxes of food and exchanged some pleasant small talk, until Renee decided to bring up the journal. I assumed she had forgotten about it because she never asked about it again.

“I saw the girl with the journal similar to yours today,” Renee said as she shoved some noodles into her mouth. “I actually spoke to her and she this really cool Greek accent.”

I kinked an eyebrow. “Greek?”

What a coincidence it was for someone from Greece; also known as the home of mythology, to possess such a journal. I would think that if the person was told the same thing I was by the crazy woman I met in the antique shop, she might’ve believed in it quicker than I did. I’m also not saying that I happen to believe that this was in fact 'Aphrodite’s Journal’ but if something else were to have happened, I would’ve been sold.

“Oh yeah. She’s insanely beautiful too, man,” Renee informed me again. Seeming to have forgotten that she had told me about the woman’s looks already. “Wait, I told you that already?” She laughed to herself. The more I got to know Renee, the more I realised that she was…simply put a weirdo, but the good type of weirdo. “Hey, by the way…I know we don’t talk about this stuff but I was just with Elena and she asked about you. I know you two ended a while ago, but I think she misses you.”

She misses me?

I literally…well almost audibly scoffed at the thought. She never really ignored my presence, but when she acknowledged me, I feel like she did it just out of the need to be polite.

Maybe we were doomed from the start and that’s honestly okay. I’ve gotten over it. I used to think that it was probably my fault for getting attached to her, when both of us knew that she would leave eventually.

She was always way too good for me.

I mean, really. We were always doomed from the start. We were bound to end, and she was the one who was always going to end it. I guess, some part of me always hoped that maybe she would’ve loved me enough to fight. To try.

Everyday I used to wake up and wonder why. Why it went wrong, why did it happen and what I could’ve done to make her stay. It didn’t seem fair because I was the one still hurting, while she was the one off in someone new romance, happy as can be, while I was trying to pick myself back up from the ground where she left me.

She didn’t have to wake up or go to sleep thinking about how much she missed me.

I did.

She wasn’t the one hurting. And it had hurt a little bit more each and every time, even if I didn’t admit it out loud.

“I know she still feels something for you…” Renee began but I didn’t want to hear any of this. My heart couldn’t take any more disappointment from the girl I once loved.

“Can you just stop?” I blurted out in frustration. I was sick and tired of everyone in my life trying to play matchmaker. From Lexa to my parents. I know they only meant well and they wanted me to be happy, but I needed to feel all these feelings; pain, hurt, hatred, before I could’ve finally move on. “I don’t give a shit about what Elena feels towards me. We broke up. In fact, she broke up with me. She has a boyfriend who she’s quite happy with, might I add. So I just….don’t care.”

I stood quickly, not caring that I didn’t eat much of my food, I grabbed my things and before I headed out the door, I heard Renee yell.

“She and Tobias aren’t even together!”

I slammed the door just to be dramatic but I’m pretty sure I was going to apologise to her for my behaviour when I got back from work.

I’m guessing Tobias was her 'boyfriend’s’ name. Even if they weren’t together, when we broke up she started talking to him, but I couldn’t care less about what Elena was doing with her life.

She was entitled to love and date who she wanted. The same way I was allowed to be with who I wanted to be with, and that wasn’t Elena anymore.

One day, someone will come along. Someone who understands that sometimes I get jealous, and sometimes I get anxious about silly little things. Someone who knows the fears that I have rooted in my past and holds me when I get scared. Because truth is, I get scared a lot.

Someone who can’t dance, but dances with me anyway. They can’t sing, but will sing with me just when we’re drunk out of our minds.

Someone who loves me no matter what. Even in the moments when I think it’s possibly hard for anyone to look at me with love in their eyes, she will love me in spite of everything.

She’ll leave me feeling helplessly, unapologetically happy as I fall asleep at night, with her in my arms.

I just have to be patient. I know she’s out there.

“Hey,” I heard Lexa’s voice coming up the hallway behind me. “Are you okay?” She rested her hand on my shoulder, looking into my eyes. She was one of the only people out there who were capable of reading me, so if I lied, Lexa would know the truth.

I shook my head 'yes’ and moved away from from my dorm’s front door. “I’m fine. I just had a minor disagreement with Renee.” I shrugged downplaying it.

“What about?” Lexa kinked an eyebrow.

“Elena.” I said curtly. After our discussion in the coffee shop, Lexa never really brought up Elena again. She knew how talking about her made me feel uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to beat her up?” Lexa grabbed my door’s handle and was about to open it but I held her back. “I’ll beat her up, Lauren. Don’t try me.”

I laughed. “It’s okay, Lex. Nothing I can’t handle. I promise.”

My best friend stared at me for a few moments before releasing the doorknob. “Fine. We should head to work. Don’t want to disappoint, Maggie.”

***

When I stepped into the hotel’s bar, something felt different about the atmosphere. I wasn’t exactly sure what I was feeling, but my mood had instantly felt lifted. I wasn’t thinking about Renee or what she had said about Elena.

I was an hour into my shift when I first spotted Maggie from a distance, when our eyes locked, she smiled brightly at me, waving excitedly.

“LAUREN!” She yelled, a huge smile on her face. She approached the bar and took a seat. “Hi.”

I laughed. “You’re really loud, you know that right?”

Maggie shrugged. “Some may see it as loud, but I see it as happy.” She winked at me. It was always incredible when I thought back to how close Maggie and I had gotten over these past few days. “Can I get some whiskey on the rocks?”

I nodded and poured a glass for her. “Whiskey tastes like ass.”

Maggie almost choked on her drink. “Should I ask how you know what ass tastes like?” She smirked at me, once she was settled from her near death experience.

I smirked back. “A lady never eats ass and tells.”

Maggie began choking on her drink again as she laughed at what I said.

“Sí̱mera,” I heard that same, soft feminine voice in my ear. It possessed that thick Greek accent.

I saw Maggie glance up from her drink the moment the word was said, she looked at me with furrowed eyebrows but played it off quickly.

Did she hear it too?

“Sí̱mera.” The voice grew a bit softer but it was still very audible. I had a hunch Maggie heard it as she mouthed the word, maybe trying to figure out what on earth she was hearing. I’m not sure if she knew what it meant because Maggie was actually born in Barcelona, Spain. But she had told me that her step mother was from Santorini, Greece, so maybe over the years, she learnt the language.

“Did you hear that?” I decided to ask her.

She looked a bit taken aback, but again, she played it off. “Hear what? It’s pretty much noisy in here, Laur.”

Sí̱mera meant 'today’ in Greek. But I didn’t understand what it meant per say. Why was I hearing that particular word?

Truthfully, a lot of weird things have in fact been happening since I got that journal that even logic couldn’t possibly explain, so altogether I tried to stop figuring out why it was happening but rather, see what was going to happen.

I just nodded absentmindedly and continued to serve other guests at the hotel. Maggie remained at the bar and we would engage in pieces of conversations here and there.

I kept feeling as though someone was looking at me, and again, it was that strange woman who was all in white, sitting off in the corner of the bar.

What I found strange about her, was that she had a cup of tea in front of her. We didn’t serve tea here, so where on earth did she get it? She had a huge pair of sunglasses obscuring the view of her face, but I knew she was staring at me. I could feel her eyes boring into my soul.

I held her gaze for a few more seconds, until I glanced away to attend to another guest, but when I looked back at the table, the woman was gone. She never stayed for more than a few seconds to a couple of minutes.

Was she my guardian angel?

Were we supposed to see our guardian angels, though?

In Greek mythology, Prometheus, is a Titan, culture hero, and trickster figure who is credited with the creation of man from clay, and who defied the gods by stealing fire and giving it to humanity, an act that enabled progress and civilization. So in a sense, Prometheus was a 'guardian angel’ to mankind.

This woman in white, I guess I’ll call her 'Lady in White.’ Yes, I’m very creative, but from what I knew, didn’t do anything to benefit me, or to help me, so I’m pretty sure she was not my guardian angel. But what was her purpose? And why did I keep seeing her?

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, when I pulled it out, I saw that it was my mom. “Can I get a few minutes? It’s a family emergency.” I told my supervisor; Raven who Lexa definitely had a crush on. It’s not that anything bad had happened, I just didn’t call home in two days, because I had been busy adjusting with work, so I only assumed my mother became worried.

“Sure. Five minutes, Jauregui. That’s it.”

When I came back, I saw Maggie with a woman standing next to her. She had her hair in a ponytail, an arm draped casually over Maggie’s shoulder, and something that caught my eye, was that she was clad in a chef’s uniform.

I stopped in my tracks.

Was this her?

Was I finally going to meet her?

I found my way behind the bar, and that’s when Maggie noticed me. She called me over, and when I locked eyes with those beautiful grey eyes I knew I was a goner.

She had a very beautiful face, the bone structure, her smile, her lips, her fucking eyes that I was so lost in.

I couldn’t even breathe.

Wait, do I know how to breathe?

My heart rate accelerated and I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. I was so afraid to say anything because I didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of her.

“Yassou,” she said in a thick Greek accent as she smiled at me. I literally thought I was going to pass out. “I’m Camila.”

It took me a few moments to realise that she was talking to me and introduced herself. Maggie cleared her throat and waved her hand in front of me.

“I think you broke her, Eliana,” Maggie laughed. I learnt from that Maggie liked calling her sister by her middle name because when they had met, she couldn’t pronounce 'Camila’ for the life of her. So after all these years, she stuck with calling her 'Eliana’.

I blushed in embarrassment, mentally facepalming myself. Way to go, Lauren.

“H-hi,” I stuttered out. “I’m…I’m Lauren.”

Camila smiled at me. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. What did she mean by that? But apparently Camila noticed and she cleared it up. “Maggie has been talking nonstop about you. She’s been trying to introduce us, since you came here, but I’ve just been so busy. I’m sorry I can’t meet your friend though. Alexandria, right?”

I nodded. “Uh, yeah. But you can call her Lexa. She’s a valet, so she’s outside, wrecking cars.”

“Wait! Does Lexa even have her license?” Maggie asked in a panic, as it just hit her, she had never actually interviewed us to ensure that we were qualified for the jobs we were given.

I snorted. “Relax, Mags. She has her license and I’m twenty one, so it’s all good here.”

“Twenty one?” Camila asked me.

“I uh, yeah. I’m twenty one. Recently turned twenty one,” I said. Just one question from Camila and I was a flustered and stuttering mess.

Camila smiled. As though she knew what effect she was having on me. “I’m twenty three. Recently turned twenty three.”

Maggie kept looking in between the both of us but she didn’t say anything.

“You have beautiful eyes, by the way,” Camila said as she looked into my eyes. “The softest shade of brown infused with just the right amount of green. It looks as thought it possesses the new spring growth inside.”

Maggie smiled proudly to herself and took a sip of her drink. “I should’ve introduced the both of you a lot sooner.”

“Wow,” was all I managed the day. “That was a very beautiful description.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true,” Camila said. She picked up Maggie’s glass and took a sip. “This tastes absolutely terrible, Maggikins.”

Her elder sister just rolled her eyes. “Don’t you have work to head back to?”

“Don’t you have work to head back to?”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Touché, sister. Touché. I should probably leave. My shift starts soon.”

“And I should probably head back into the kitchen, I’m sure some dishes are running low by now,” Camila looked away from her sister to me. “It was really nice meeting you, Lauren. Maybe next time, we can spend some more time getting to know each other.”

“I’d like that,” I managed to say without being flustered. “I’ll see you around, Camila.”

***

I saw Camila again before my shift had ended that night. I was passing through the restaurant in search of Lexa because I was well aware that my best friend was trying to get some free food, and that’s when I saw her. She smiled at me, with that same damned smile. I wanted to talk to her, to say something, but I settled with awkwardly waving her goodbye as I left with Lexa.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” I said to Lexa once we reached by my dorm. She had a habit of ensuring my safety. She was the type of friend that would drop you off at home, and won’t leave without you getting in. She would walk me home everyday after school back when we were living in LA. Every single time I thought about Lexa, I knew just how blessed I was.

She wrapped me into a quick hug before she went on her way.

When I entered my room, I was expecting to see my roommate, but thankfully, she wasn’t there. It’s not that I was still mad at her, it’s just that I was way too tired to have to apologise to her and listen to how sorry she was for interfering with my love life.

I was beyond tired, but I managed to take a quick shower before heading to bed and finishing off my journal entry. I wouldn’t exactly say that I still didn’t believe in the journal. I was trying my best to discourage any sort of belief, but with everything that was happening recently, it sure made me want to believe in something.

Especially since I wrote about wanting to see Camila, and then I saw her.

Once I got to bed, I pulled out the journal from under my sheets, grabbed my glasses and decided to get lost in my own little world.

“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level are meant to be together. Maybe as lovers, as friends, or as something completely different. Sometimes you meet someone and they drive you wild from the very first glance. You become nothing but a stuttering mess when you’re around them.

…It was like that for me when I saw Camila. I wasn’t expecting that. I had only assumed that she would be beautiful, especially if she was related to Maggie. But when I saw her, I just felt drawn to her. I knew my heart felt it too, because it couldn’t stop beating so wildly against my chest. I barely even knew her and she had this effect on me. What was going to happen when I started to know every little thing about her?

I remember, when Elena and I had just broken up, I was crying in my mom’s arms, because this was the very first girl that I had loved. She told me, 'You’re slowly going to learn that some people, no matter how much you love them, they’re never going to be good enough for you. You deserve someone who is gentle and kind because your soul can only take so much. So realising that you deserve something good, is going to be one of your first steps.’

Those words resonated with me. And there was just something about Camila that made me think that she was my 'something good.’

Love, Lauren.

I sighed happily as I shut my journal. I didn’t want to get ahead of myself because Camila seemed so out of my league, but something in the back of my mind kept telling me, that she was it for me.

But how can she be when I don’t even know her?

What if she was one of those people who liked pineapple on their pizza?

Or she poured her milk then her cereal?

What if she didn’t like singing along to songs on the radio?

Okay, Lauren. You were definitely getting ahead of yourself.

But the thing is, you can be in a relationship with someone for two years and feel absolutely nothing spectacular; but you could be in a relationship for two weeks and feel everything. The butterflies, the excitement when you see them, every…single…thing.

Time is not a measure of love.

☾☀︎

My mind brings me back to the story of Pygmalion and Galatea; the ivory statute that Aphrodite had given life to. It’s a story that makes you not want to give up on love because, when you least expect it, you can always find it in a place you had never even thought about.

Never in a thousand years, would I have thought that I was going to find love in Camila.

The thing is, you know when a house becomes a home. You know just about which stair creeks a bit more than the others. You know every turn like the back of your hand, and you can walk around in the dark without bumping into anything. Before I met Camila, I had a house but never a home.

Now?

Now, my home was two eyes, lips that I will never grow tired of kissing and a heart…a heart that I wanted to treasure for all of eternity. Until my dying breath, if you will.

Home is how Camila’s grey eyes sparkle when the sun hits it at just the right angle.

I know what home feels like now, home feels like her.

I’ve finally found my home.

Fall in love.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be with someone, because not everyone is so fortunate to fall in love with a person. Fall in love with art, music, dancing in the dark, the colours of the sun as it rises, or as it sets. Fall in love with the smell of the flowers on a Thursday morning while you’re having a walk around the block.

Fall in love with good friends who bring out your best.

Fall in love with the little things that make you feel most alive and find purpose.

But most importantly….fall in love with yourself.

Relax and trust the timing of your life. Not everything will go according to how you like it. You won’t always get the guy, or the girl. You won’t always get your dream career and buy that huge house in Beverly Hills.

You will figure out your career.

You will find the right relationship.

You will become the person you always wanted to be. Just don’t forget to appreciate who you are right now. Just don’t forget what led you to the place you are right now. Every single disappointment, every heartbreak is leading you to something greater.

Just be patient.

Look at me for example, after much sadness and disappointments, I finally got my dream girl.

☾☀︎

"Real love is always chaotic,” my professor said as he started his lecture. For some reason, I always felt like he thought of himself as a love guru. “You’re going to lose control, you’re going to lose perspective. You’re going to lose the ability to protect yourself. The greater the love, the greater the chaos.”

What he said was absolutely right.

The more you love someone, the more it’s going to hurt if you get your heartbroken in the end.

It’s a given and that’s the secret.

“Can someone tell the class who was Eros?” My Greek Mythology professor paced around the lecture hall, his eyes falling on every student but no one wanted to answer. “Miss Consuelos? Do you have something to add?”

I spun around in my seat, to follow where my professor was looking, and there she was. Elena Consuelos, aka my former love of my life was in my Greek Mythology class.

What. The. Fuck?

Elena nodded. She looked up from her laptop and caught my eye. We held eye contact for a little over ten seconds until she directed her attention to Mr Centaur. “Eros was the Greek god of love and fertility. He was the son of Aphrodite and Ares. In later years, he was known as 'Cupid’ by the Romans. According to all Greek myths, Eros was beautiful, but also a constant source of trouble for both gods and mortals.”

Eros was one of the fundamental causes in the formation of the world, inasmuch as he was the uniting power of love, which brought order and harmony among the conflicting elements of which Chaos consisted.

Chaos.

That word kept repeating in my head. Hopefully it was nothing for me to worry about.

My professor smiled happily. Elena was an A+ student. She didn’t need to study for any tests to pass any of her exams. She was always reading about something, so she was always filled with information, and don’t get me wrong, I always thought that was an incredibly sexy trait of hers, but why was she in my class?

Elena wanted to be a medical doctor, so why was she here?

Was Renee actually serious when she said Elena still felt something for me? If she did, she could’ve just told me instead of adding a class to her schedule. Unless I was just over analysing everything and she was just here because she had a love for Greek mythology.

As the class droned on and on, I kept feeling Elena’s eyes piercing into the side of my head. One time, I caved and I caught her looking at me, she blushed and looked away quickly.

Don’t you think that there is always something unspoken between two people?

When Elena and I said our goodbyes, it felt as though something was missing. Yes, we broke up, the reason being that the relationship wasn’t going nowhere, but it always felt like we had more to say to each other but yet we never did.

I shook my head, snapping out of these ridiculous thoughts.

I needed to pay attention in my class. I needed to get my degree.

☾☀︎

But of course, things were only just heating up.

☾☀︎

“Camila.”

I immediately stopped taking notes on my laptop when I heard that name.

“Iliázo̱.”

Iliazo?

Wait, what did that mean again?

Before I could process what I just heard, I saw Elena grabbing her things, and quickly leaving the lecture hall.

Sun? Camila?

Was Camila my i̱liázo̱?

*** Wattpad: Commander_Camren

#UPDATE #series #AU #g!p #camren #submission #love lauren

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mrsslrss · 5 years

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2018.

My first memory of 2018: I woke up at 5 a.m. and spotted an enormous bug on my bedroom wall. I was mildly hungover after a really lovely and somewhat raucous party in my house, and when I saw the bug I felt like my stomach dropped out of my body. (I’m a wimp! It had so many legs! Stay with me.) I tried to rouse M for about 10 minutes to kill the bug with no luck, then told myself, with an air of forced gravity, It’s 2018, and I must kill the bug myself. Which, I am glad to report, I did.

I think I told that story a lot this year in the hopes that the more I retold it, the more it would come to define my year: You know, being brave? Taking charge and vanquishing, uh, icky stuff? (And later, for all the times I told the story of starting my day by sweeping up the post-party-confetti-canon detritus and throwing away the half-used Solo cups before my roommates woke up: Doing rather thankless work for a greater good?) I’m not sure I mastered the art of “manifesting” in 2018, though (sorry Oprah!); I certainly wasn’t as generous or industrious as those stories would suppose, but the image of me resisting something frightening then eventually/begrudgingly giving in and being grateful I did — I suppose that rings true.

It’s easy for me to be blue in December — to think about what didn’t get accomplished, the ways I have been selfish, shallow and lazy — but if I’m honest with myself, the year had its share of success. I got hired out of my temp status, spoke on a panel at a conference, helped lead a project I’m proud of, talked on some podcasts, survived my college reunion. I learned a lot about commitment, complacency and what drives my writing. I spent a lot of time with my family. I watched people I love make incredible art, find cherished partners, move their careers forward, get engaged, become parents. I wrote a couple good songs, played a lot of good shows. My hair got long enough to wear it in a bun most days.

The truth is that I’m pretty scared about the future. Call it cyclical energy or call it the brink of exhaustion but I think things are going to happen in 2019; I think, for better or for worse, I’m going to make them happen. I’m trying to transmute anxiety into excitement for what the year’s bringing but I think it’s ok to be scared, too. Anyway, here’s to 2018, and to the things I felt and saw and did and loved that helped me make it through.

Andrea Long Chu’s writing

I read “On Liking Women” in January — the kind of article where you start it at your desk and then have to finish it later, and you get home and sit on the couch without even turning the living room lights on and just read and read, breathlessly, until it’s done — and I got hooked and I have read everything ALC has written since. Her work is thoughtful, engaging, provocative, breathtaking, earnest, shady, queer as h*ck. It has made me think about what kind of writer (and person) I want to be and was fodder for some of my favorite conversations I had this year about gender, power, identity and the ultimate self-own. Also, her Twitter is hilarious.

Dried mango

Snack of the year for me, hands down. Though if I’m being honest, green tea kit kats are a serious contender, too -- much tougher to find, though, meaning they can’t quite nab the top snack spot for 2018.

Traveling & open space

I didn’t travel a ton this year but the few trips I took were lovely. In April I visited Seattle, a city I love, for a truly marvelous conference and I saw the water and the mountains. In October I visited Vermont, had a real dream-come-true moment in a field of goats. I visited Sam in Austin and realized that Texas is, indeed, huge. (And affordable!) I visited my family in MA a lot and rode horses a couple times but mostly just sat on the couch with my mom watching re-runs of The Office and making sense of ourselves. It felt nice when I was in motion this year.

Riding my bike

Speaking of motion! I borrowed my sister’s cool bike last year and started riding to work, but then the bike got stolen, which put a big damper on everything. I got a crappy replacement a couple months later and rode it to work every day, nearly, of 2018, and to all sorts of other places. I read Jessica Hopper’s book about Chicago this year and so much of that book takes place on her bike, which inspired me to take things a little more seriously. I’m not an experienced cyclist by any means (truly: most of my bike rides are on two streets in the one-mile radius between my house and my office) but I like what it affords me.

Trying to be a void

that is to say, wearing all black. I know that clothing is how a lot of people express themselves but mostly what I wanted to express this year was: a black hole. By black hole I mostly mean nothingness, and also deflecting the gaze. Incredibly comforting. As a caveat: Mads taught me about the power of navy blue late this year, and I think in 2019 I will try to be the night sky.

New York

I used to hate NYC for boring reasons but now I don’t, and it defined my year, in many ways — I visited about once a month, for work and for friends and for fun. I nearly always stayed with Mads in Bed-Stuy, which is an excellent situation, although one time I blew a big chunk of a bonus (!) on a fancy hotel room (!!) in Manhattan. (Worth it!) I spoke on a panel, I played my songs in a gallery, I ate bagels with vegan cream cheese, I had bad pizza in a cigar bar, I saw Maggie Nelson give a talk, I watched Duster play two consecutive comeback shows. I had a lot of small moments, too, of bliss and kindness and serendipity, of tortellini soup and espresso tonics, late night talks, doing laps around Bryant Park, walking quietly through galleries. I cried on buses, got freaked out on a plane, had a particularly memorable set of conversations on the Amtrak. I also saw Carly Rae Jepsen!

Playing covers with friends

Ok, yes, seeing Carly Rae at the Turning the Tables event in NYC was magnificent, but more magnificent was being in Gnarly Rae Jepsen, aka the Carly Rae Jepsen cover band I was invited to join around Halloween. Frankly I was just flattered to have been asked, since Lars does a cover band for Halloween every year and they always rip. And Gnarly Rae ripped! I didn’t do a lot of stuff with my own music this year, so it was great to play with a band with pretty much zero pressure and an abundance of good vibes. The Halloween show was one of the happiest moments of my year. Plus this winter I planned a December open mic and so some friends and I decided to do a couple covers — “Silver Springs” by Fleetwood Mac (which Mads sang) and “Dreams” by The Cranberries (which I sang) — which was a little messy and extremely fun.

Christmas cactus

A friend of mine from grad school moved to California after graduating and gave me a bunch of her plants, including a cactus that looked like it was in poor health but I was determined to keep alive for as long as I could. I kept caring for it even though I was convinced it was going to croak any day; turns out I’m just ignorant about what a healthy cactus looks like, because it blossomed just days before my birthday this April. I didn’t even know this cactus could flower, so to have it happen right before I turned 26 made me feel such a deep sense of joy and hope, and connection with the living world, like a true, grounded, healthy Taurus. It bloomed again before Christmas; last week, I realized my grandmother has the exact same plant in her living room.

Writing criticism

I wrote a couple things this year I was especially proud of, and most of them were reviews. (My Turning the Tables essay doesn’t fit in that category but I’m really proud of that, too.) Most of this writing happened in my house where I was alone in my room rubbing my temples and whining softly why is this so hard, why does it have to be so hard but it also felt electric and life-affirming; I heard a podcaster refer to writing as something like “touching the divine” this year and that feels like it, exactly. I think I loved those processes too because they so often involved having really fun, challenging conversations about the art in question with people I admire, and that’s why I got into this game, right? Plus a few conversations I had this year adjacent to these pieces helped me realize that a) criticism is the kind of writing I feel the most drawn to right now; and as we used to say on Tumblr, “not to get fake deep but,” b) the goodness I am searching for in my life/self is a big part of what drives me to write, of what I’m doing in my writing. That helps.

Coffee O merch

My forever favorite coffee shop is Coffee Obsession in Falmouth, not necessarily because they have the best beans in the world or anything but because when I’m there it’s because I am spending time in my favorite place, usually with my family and best friends, etc. Anyway I have recently started to rep them on a regular basis: I got a purple HydroFlask with the Coffee O logo and used it every day this year to bring iced coffee to work, and this summer I bought a big green Coffee O t-shirt that says “LOCAL FLAVAH” on the back (incredible), which is more or less my favorite item of clothing I bought this year. I guess I’m kind of a poseur because I’m a tourist, not a Cape Cod native, but my love for Coffee O is true and real and I’m glad to spread the word.

Etc: Making iced coffee every morning in the Chemex; roséwave and the #Saltypod, both of which I love fiercely; the difference between being liked and being heard, à la Ellen Willis; editing essays; the Fever Ray show at 9:30 Club; wearing glitter in the corners of my eyes; “no one is going to wait for you to ask for permission”; wearing heels to work; the steam room at the W St YMCA; my tarot deck; the Pome newsletter.

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patriotsnet · 3 years

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Why Did Republicans Hate Obama So Much

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-did-republicans-hate-obama-so-much/

Why Did Republicans Hate Obama So Much

Barack Obama Has Polled As The Worst Us President Ever Even Beating George W Bush Courtesy Fox New

Barack Obama has polled as the worst US President ever, even beating George W. Bush. Courtesy Fox New

US President Barack Obama isn’t rating well with his fellow Americans.

WE LOVE him but it seems his own countrymen can’t stand the sight of him.

Barack Obama, who has 43.9 million Twitter fans, has also landed the title of the most unpopular US President since World War II. This means he even rates lower than his predecessor George W. Bush.

While it’s no secret his popularity has been waning, a new poll has revealed just how disliked he has become since sweeping to power in 2009.

A Quinnipiac University survey has shown that even Republican Party presidential nominee Mitt Romney would have been a better choice for voters.

According to the poll, 45 per cent of people say the country would have been better off if Mr Romney had been elected in 2012, and a staggering 38 per cent see him as a better choice.

Leaders are generally rated lower once in power — take Prime Minister Tony Abbott, for example. His popularity has plummeted to the depths that saw Julia Gillard outed in favour of Kevin Rudd’s return.

But Obama’s popularity would come as a shock to Australians who have mostly regarded the president as being in line with our way of thinking.

And he’s certainly popular on Twitter. In December 2012, President Barack Obama scored the most retweeted tweet of the year with an image of him and first lady Michelle embracing along with the words “four more years”.

Obamacare

Why Do Republicans Want To Repeal Obamacare So Much Because It Would Be A Big Tax Cut For The Rich

There are going to be so many tax cuts for the rich, you’re going to get tired of tax cuts for the rich. You’re going to say, “Mr. President, please don’t cut taxes for the rich so much, this is getting terrible.”

arrow-right

And it will start when Republicans repeal Obamacare.

This is the Rosetta Stone for understanding why conservatives have acted like subsidized health care was the end of the republic itself. It wasn’t just that it had the word “Obama” in its name, which, in our polarized age, was enough to ensure that 45 percent of the country would despise it. No, it was that Obamacare was one of the biggest redistributive policies of the last 50 years. The Republican Party, after all, exists for what seems like the sole purpose of reversing redistribution.

A quick recap: Obamacare is a kind of three-legged stool. First, it tells insurance companies that they can’t discriminate against sick people anymore; second, it tells people that they have to buy insurance or pay a penalty, so that everyone doesn’t just wait until they’re sick to get covered; and third, it helps people who can’t afford the plans they have to buy be able to. Which is to say that you need to come up with a whole lot of money to make this work — money that Obamacare gets by taxing the rich. Indeed, at its most basic level, it raises taxes on the top 1 percent to pay for health insurance for the bottom 40 percent.

Getting tired of tax cuts for the rich yet?

Theres One Reason Why Republicans Keep Telling Obama To Shut Up Its Exactly What You Think

Republicans have smeared and violated the first black president since he first ran for the office, demanding that he watch his mouth and “show his papers.”

Looking back now, I was likely beginning my journey to leaving the Republican Party on September 9, 2009, when Barack Obama was addressing a Joint Session of Congress and Representative Joe Wilson, Republican of South Carolina, shouted “you lie” in the middle of the president’s address.

The president looked in the direction of the shout, calmly said, “it’s not true” and continued. The House rebuked Wilson a week later, but notably that vote came on party lines, and the tone had been set.

The next year, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell declared that “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” The year after that, Donald Trump joined the so-called Birthers “just asking” whether the first black president was even really an American at all.

Republicans have kept attacking Obama ever since, even after he left office—smearing him, violating him, demanding that he “show his papers.”

McConnell, Trump’s lapdog, told Trump’s daughter in law, Lara Trump, that Obama was “a little bit classless,” and instructed him to “keep his mouth shut.” He didn’t say “boy, stay in your place” but he didn’t have to. The people who belong to Trump and McConnell’s Republican Party know damn well what he meant there, and made no real effort to mask.

READ THIS LIST

His Eulogy For John Lewis Was Typically Soaring The Reaction On The Right Was Furious

Last week, a former president gave a speech in which he described the United States as a country dedicated to high ideals and striving to “form a more perfect union,” and he called on Americans to support reforms that would help to ensure more equal representation for all. In response, members of the opposing party said that this former president was promoting “communist terrorist propaganda,” and labeled him “cynical,” “divisive and partisan,” a “national disgrace,” and “one of the sleaziest and most dishonest figures in the history of American politics.”

I’m talking, of course, about Barack Obama’s eulogy for civil rights icon John Lewis — and the unhinged reaction of right-wing journalists and media personalities to it. The context is what made that reaction so astonishing. We’re three-and-a-half years into an administration defined by constantly dividing the country between those who support the current president and everyone else, who are often denigrated as haters and losers and “enemies of the people.” More proximally, last week was one when Donald Trump suggested postponing the 2020 presidential election and promised suburban voters that he would protect them from being “bothered” by poor people moving into their neighborhoods and lowering their property values. That was the context for Republicans taking offense at Obama for daring to suggest that “we can do better.”

We’re Less Far Apart Politically Than We Think Why Can’t We All Get Along

Partisans on both sides of the aisle significantly overestimate the extent of extremism in the opposing party. The more partisan the thinker, the more distorted the other side appears. And when we see the opposition as extremists, we fear them. Our tribal thinking prepares us for battle.

What’s the solution? More information? More political engagement? More education?

Surely more information leads to better judgment. But social scientists at the international initiative More in Common find that having more information from the news media is associated with a less accurate understanding of political opponents. Part of the problem appears to be the political biases of media sources themselves. Of all the various news media examined, only the traditional TV networks, ABC, NBC, and CBS, are associated with a better understanding of political views.

This discrepancy may be a result of the lack of political diversity among professors and administrators on campus. As political scientist Sam Abrams found, the average left to right ratio of professors nationwide is 6 to 1 and the ratio of student-facing administrators is 12 to 1. Democrats who have few or no Republican friends see the other side as more extreme than do those with more politically diverse friends. And the more educated Democrats are, the less likely they are to have friends who don’t share their political beliefs.

So what can you do?

A version of this article appeared on the Newsmax platform.

Obama Is Antithetical To Trump So Long As He Exists Trump Is Threatened

Central to Trump’s presidency is the effort to erase Obama’s legacy—his policies, his social agenda, and, more intriguingly, his very persona. This observation is neither new nor original. After all, Trump’s run on the Republican party began with his advocacy of birtherism, an attempt to quite literally delegitimize Obama. .

Obama has remained top of mind for Trump ever since. The evidence is by now well documented: The flap over inauguration crowd size; the withdrawal from the Iran deal; the rollback of Obama’s environmental policies; the broadband attack on Obama’s environmental regulation and nondiscrimination policies; the ongoing assault on Obamacare; his complaints of “presidential harassment”; his recent disparagement of Obama during the G-7 meeting , and on and on.

Many observers have taken notice. Back in 2017, Charles Blow of The New York Times wrote, “Trump is obsessed with Obama. Obama haunts Trump’s dreams. One of Trump’s primary motivators is the absolute erasure of Obama – were it possible – not only from the political landscape but also from the history books.”

“Two Years Into Trump’s Presidency, Obama Remains a Top Target for Criticism,” Peter Baker and Maggie Haberman have likewise noted recently in the Times “It took all of one minute and nine seconds for President Trump to go after his predecessor on Friday — just one minute and nine seconds to re-engage in a debate that has consumed much of his own time in office over who was the better president.”

Video: Its Impossible To Imagine Trump Without The Force Of Whiteness

Roediger relates the experience, around 1807, of a British investor who made the mistake of asking a white maid in New England whether her “master” was home. The maid admonished the investor, not merely for implying that she had a “master” and thus was a “sarvant” but for his basic ignorance of American hierarchy. “None but negers are sarvants,” the maid is reported to have said. In law and economics and then in custom, a racist distinction not limited to the household emerged between the “help” and the “servants” . The former were virtuous and just, worthy of citizenship, progeny of Jefferson and, later, Jackson. The latter were servile and parasitic, dim-witted and lazy, the children of African savagery. But the dignity accorded to white labor was situational, dependent on the scorn heaped upon black labor—much as the honor accorded a “virtuous lady” was dependent on the derision directed at a “loose woman.” And like chivalrous gentlemen who claim to honor the lady while raping the “whore,” planters and their apologists could claim to honor white labor while driving the enslaved.

This is by design. Speaking in 1848, Senator John C. Calhoun saw slavery as the explicit foundation for a democratic union among whites, working and not:

With us the two great divisions of society are not the rich and poor, but white and black; and all the former, the poor as well as the rich, belong to the upper class, and are respected and treated as equals.

Why Is The Affordable Care Act So Despised By So Many Conservatives

IT HAS been called “the most dangerous piece of legislation ever passed”, “as destructive to personal and individual liberties as the Fugitive Slave Act” and a killer of women, children and old people. According to Republican lawmakers, the sources of each of these quotes, the Affordable Care Act , or Obamacare, is a terrible thing. Since it was passed by a Democratic Congress in 2009, it has been the bête noire of the Republicans. The party has pushed more than 60 unsuccessful Congressional votes to defeat it, while the Supreme Court has been forced to debate it four times in the act’s short history. Obamacare was also at the heart of the two-week government shutdown in 2013. Why does the ACA attract such opprobrium from the right?

Race Alone Doesn’t Explain Hatred Of Obama But It’s Part Of The Mix

NPR

President Obama speaks at a news briefing in July about the fatal shooting of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman. Carolyn Kaster/APhide caption

toggle caption

President Obama speaks at a news briefing in July about the fatal shooting of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman.

It’s a fact of American life that a good share of the electorate is disappointed, disapproving and even disdainful of President Obama. What’s less certain are the reasons why.

For some Democrats, the explanation is simple: race. In recent weeks, West Virginia Sen. Jay Rockefeller, Mississippi Rep. and former Florida Gov. Charlie Crist have all said racism is the driving force behind Republican resistance to the president.

Republicans, unsurprisingly, say their disdain for Obama is based not on the color of his skin, but on the content of his policies.

“If any white Democrat had pushed through a billion-dollar stimulus plan and a takeover of the health care industry, he would have been equally detested by conservatives and Republicans,” says Whit Ayres, a GOP pollster and consultant.

There’s no question we’re living in a time of divisive politics, when roughly half the country is likely to hate the president, no matter whom he or she might be.

But race has been a factor in American politics since the very beginning. It’s certainly part of the mix in terms of responses to Obama.

Race Is Not The Whole Story

But Race Is Definitely A Factor

All That Obama Represents

Facebook

Obama Really Did Activate Voters Their Hopes But Also Their Fears

There are reams of evidence supporting this explanation, and I run through much of it in my piece “White Threat in a Browning America.” Obama’s presidency was inextricable from the massive demographic change that made it possible, and that continues to reshape American life and politics. But it wasn’t just demographic change that Obama represented. Obama, though a Christian himself, led an increasingly secular coalition, and was othered as a secret Muslim in the minds of many conservatives. Similarly, perceptions of economic change were filtered through broader views about Obama and the country: the political scientist Michael Tesler found that the most racially resentful Americans were the most economically pessimistic before the 2016 election and the most economically optimistic after it.

Obama, notably, spoke about race less than past presidents. But Obama himself was a symbol of a changing America, of white America’s loss of power, of new groups were gaining power. That perception wasn’t wrong: In his 2012 reelection campaign, Obama won merely 39 percent of the white vote — a smaller share than Michael Dukakis had commanded in 1988. That is to say, a few decades ago, the multiracial Obama coalition couldn’t drive American politics; by 2012, it could.

On its face, this is laughable. But Limbaugh’s audience wasn’t laughing. They were listening.

So yes, all of this led to Trump.

Have Republicans Ever Hated A President More Than Barack Obama

It’s getting harder to deny.

The widespread belief on the right that Barack Obama is a Muslim is one of the stranger features of this period in history. There are some of them who know that Obama says he’s a Christian but are sure that’s all an act designed to fool people, while he secretly prays to Allah. But there are probably a greater number who haven’t given it all that much thought; they just heard somewhere that he’s a Muslim, and it made perfect sense to them-after all, he’s kinda foreign, if you know what I mean. Rather remarkably, that belief has grown over time; as the latest poll from the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life shows, fully 30 percent of Republicans, and 34 percent of conservative Republicans, now believe Obama is Muslim. These numbers are about double what they were four years ago.

You can bet there aren’t too many who think there’s nothing wrong with it if he were. For many of them, it’s just a shorthand for Obama being alien and threatening. So it leads me to ask: Can we say, finally, that no Democratic president has ever been hated by Republicans quite as much as Barack Obama?

This antipathy has multiple sources interacting together, so it’s overly simplistic to say that it’s just because of Obama’s race, or it’s just because of heightened partisanship. But it’s getting harder and harder to claim that there’s ever been a Democrat Republicans hated more.

The Seeds Of Trump’s Victory Were Sown The Moment Obama Won

Nine months into the Donald Trump administration, the United States seems eons removed from the country that just nine years ago elected its first black president.

Yet the racial divide that Trump demonstrated with his narrow Electoral College win was always there.

President Barack Obama read to a certain portion of white America as an unending attack on white Christian identity, centrality and cultural relevance. In their minds, he was seeking to end their right to bear arms and the right of conservatives to speak freely.

For this group of Americans, Trump has been the corrective. As Ta-Nehisi Coates points out in his brilliant Atlantic essay, “The First White President,” for Trump’s supporters, his election was itself the point. Putting a human wrecking ball against political correctness, feminism, multiculturalism and even decency was the ballgame.

Obama’s election masked this fierce racial schism for only a few short months. That ended the moment he declared, in July of his first year in the Oval Office, that a white Cambridge police officer acted “stupidly” for arresting a black college professor — and long-time Obama friend and mentor — outside his own home.

The racial divide that Trump demonstrated with his narrow Electoral College win was always there.

Yet Obama won re-election by a convincing 5 million votes. Even more than in 2008, his victory demonstrated the power of a non-white constituency to do the once-impossible: deliver the White House, twice.

How The Right Wing Convinces Itself That Liberals Are Evil

Since the 1950s, the conservative movement has justified bad behavior—including supporting Donald Trump—by persuading itself that the left is worse.

If you spend any time consuming right-wing media in America, you quickly learn the following: Liberals are responsible for racism, slavery, and the Ku Klux Klan. They admire Mussolini and Hitler, and modern liberalism is little different from fascism or, even worse, communism. The mainstream media and academia cannot be trusted because of the pervasive, totalitarian nature of liberal culture.

This did not begin with Donald Trump. The modern Republican Party may be particularly apt to push conspiracy theories to rationalize its complicity with a staggeringly corrupt administration, but this is an extension of, not a break from, a much longer history. Since its very beginning, in the 1950s, members of the modern conservative movement have justified bad behavior by convincing themselves that the other side is worse. One of the binding agents holding the conservative coalition together over the course of the past half century has been an opposition to liberalism, socialism, and global communism built on the suspicion, sometimes made explicit, that there’s no real difference among them.

The title of that LP? Ronald Reagan Speaks Out Against Socialized Medicine. The American left is used to waiting for liberals to finally get ruthless. Through the eyes of the right, they always have been.

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The Real Reason Trump Is So Dead Set On Crushing Obamacare

Chris Cillizza

Over the past 24 hours, President Donald Trump has taken two actions aimed at mortally wounding the Affordable Care Act.

The first tasks his administration with increasing competition among health care insurers, a move very likely to drive younger people out of the insurance marketplace entirely and driving up costs across the board. The second, announced late Thursday night, .

The key to understanding Trump’s motivations here are entirely contained in the ACA’s shorthand nickname: Obamacare. It’s named after the man – former President Barack Obama – who shepherded it into existence. And that’s exactly why Trump wants to get rid of it.

Trump’s entire political life – dating all the way back to his adoption of birtherism earlier this decade – is positioned against all things Obama. Why? Because for many Trump supporters in this country, Obama – and his beliefs about society and government – were the antithesis of what they believed.

The best way to distinguish yourself in Republican politics during Obama’s time in office was to position yourself against, literally, everything about Obama – up to and including his legitimacy to be president due to fact-free claims about where he was born.

At every rally, every speech and almost every day on Twitter during the 2016 campaign, Trump promised to get rid of Obamacare – and quickly.

How America Changed During Barack Obamas Presidency

Michael Dimock

Barack Obama campaigned for the U.S. presidency on a platform of change. As he prepares to leave office, the country he led for eight years is undeniably different. Profound social, demographic and technological changes have swept across the United States during Obama’s tenure, as have important shifts in government policy and public opinion.

Apple released its first iPhone during Obama’s 2007 campaign, and he announced his vice presidential pick – Joe Biden – on a two-year-old platform called Twitter. Today, use of smartphones and social media has become the norm in U.S. society, not the exception.

The election of the nation’s first black president raised hopes that race relations in the U.S. would improve, especially among black voters. But by 2016, following a spate of high-profile deaths of black Americans during encounters with police and protests by the Black Lives Matter movement and other groups, many Americans – especially blacks – described race relations as generally bad.

Percentage point difference between all adults saying race relations are “generally good” and those saying “generally bad”

Generally good

Obama presidency

PEW RESEARCH CENTER

But by some measures, the country faces serious economic challenges: A steady hollowing of the middle class, for example, continued during Obama’s presidency, and income inequality reached its highest point since 1928.

Related: How America Changed During Donald Trump’s Presidency

He’s Removed The Veneer That Hid America’s Racism

somehow left behind its racisracist tweets widely criticized

It doesn’t make any difference what color the president is. Malcolm X could have been elected president and racism would have continued just the same.

Kehinde Andrews, historian and author

“the heartbeat of racism” Kehinde AndrewsJoe Scarborough Max Boot.one poll

Racist policies work better when they don’t seem to be racist… once the veneer comes off, a lot of people in the middle will shy away. Trump has taken away the veneer.

Kevin Kruse, historian

it’s just racist.

The Thing Donald Trump Hates Most About Obama

Donald Trump spoke to GQ last month as he sat at his desk in Trump Tower, and many of his characteristically idiosyncratic reflections on the improbable months he has spent as the front-runner for the Republican presidential nomination appeared in the December 2015 issue. But inevitably, a single article cannot possibly convey all that Donald Trump is, and so some segments of the conversation had to remain unheard. Until now.

You said an interesting thing in one of your first interviews, in 1981: “Man is the most vicious of all animals and life is a series of battles ending in victory and defeat.” Is that still what you think?Sure. I mean, the lions hunt for food. Oftentimes humans hunt for sport. It’s much different. But you look at the chain, and you look at what’s going on in the chain, and yeah, mankind is pretty tough.

I can see that. At the same time I don’t know how the electorate’s going to feel: to be characterized as the most vicious of all animals.Oh, I think they’ll be fine with it. I think they know it’s true. What—you want me to take it back? “Oh, I’m sorry I said that…”

And people who think that that’s not true—they’re just fooling themselves?I think people think it is true.

But I guess one way to look at the world is it’s a jungle and a fight for survival, and another way to look at the world is we’re all in it together and we should love each other**.**

An important part of what you’re saying all the time is “I’m smart.” How smart are you?I’m very smart.

Trump Has Banished The Ghost Of Ronald Reagan

for sayingone memorable phrase

We’re now in a time in American history and in world history where we cannot imply afford to be moderate. We can’t afford to just be tinkering around the edges.

Rutger Bregman, historian and author

economic expansion“haunted by the Reagan era.” at times more like a Republicanproposedreducedncluded conservative ideasGippernever cutvowed to raise taxes conservative voters wantedand notunexpected backlashPublic supportan essay “Rooseveltian vision of activist government.

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As someone who was weaned on stories of leftist intellectuals and journalists traipsing off to communist countries to pay obeisance, I can only shake my head as a parade of right-wingers are making their way to Hungary to sing the praises of authoritarian Viktor Orban. Tucker Carlson of Fox News is the highest-profile rightist to make the trek, but the path was already well-trod.

Former National Review editor and Margaret Thatcher speechwriter John O’Sullivan has moved to Budapest to head the Danube Institute, a think tank funded by Orban’s government. He likes his nationalism straight up.

A few years ago, at the National Conservatism conference in Washington, D.C., Orban was an honored guest, which was a bit head-snapping for those inattentive to the drift toward authoritarianism on the right. Speakers at the conference have featured mainstream figures such as John Bolton, Chris DeMuth, Peter Thiel, Oren Cass and Rich Lowry. In addition to Orban, other questionable invitees included Marion Marechal and Steve Bannon pal Matteo Salvini.

Mona Charen is policy editor of The Bulwark and host of the “Beg to Differ” podcast. Her most recent book is Sex Matters: How Modern Feminism Lost Touch with Science, Love, and Common Sense. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.

www.alternet.org

Why Do So Many People Hate Obamacare So Much

Facebook

Julie Rovner

toggle caption

Opposition to Obamacare has been strong from the beginning. Demonstrators made their dissatisfaction clear in front of the Supreme Court in 2015.

The Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, has roiled America since the day it was signed into law in 2010. From the start, the public was almost evenly divided between those who supported it and those who opposed it.

They still are. The November monthly tracking poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation found that 50 percent of those polled had a favorable view of the health law, while 46 percent viewed it unfavorably.

Partisan politics drives the split. Eighty percent of Democrats were supportive in November, while 81 percent of Republicans were strongly negative.

That helps explain why Republicans are working to repeal a key element of the health law in the tax bill Congress is negotiating. The requirement that most Americans have health insurance or pay a tax penalty — the so-called individual mandate — is by far the most unpopular provision of the law, particularly among Republicans.

Still, while partisanship is a major reason why some people hate the health law, it’s far from the only one. Here are four more:

Ideology

Adding to that was the unhappiness with the ACA’s individual mandate. Although the idea was originally suggested by Republicans in the late 1980s, the GOP had mostly backed away from it over the years .

Lack of knowledge

Confusing the health law with the rest of the health system

Are Voters Responsible For Their Own Choices

Where Obama and Shapiro differ sharply in their explanation is in the attribution of blame. Obama blames Trump — and others in the Republican Party and conservative media — for demagogically preying on Americans’ fears and anxieties. Shapiro blames Obama for adopting a lecturing tone that alienated a critical mass of Americans.

Some of this strikes me as, well, strange. John McCain just had Obama speak at his funeral. The idea that the 2008 campaign was uniquely scurrilous is provably wrong. The rest of it is the usual Rorschach test of American politics; I think Obama treated issues of identity with unusual care and caution and, particularly early in his presidency, was unusually willing to believe the best of his political opponents, but I doubt I’ll change any minds on that in this column. Indeed, the deep division over how identity politics was wielded in the Obama era, and who was really acting outside the norms of American politics, is exactly what you’d expect if you believe this broader story of demographic, political, and cultural upheaval.

More interesting, I think, is the way both Obama and Shapiro implicitly absolve voters of responsibility for the choices they made. Obama’s basic argument is that too much change, too fast, made right-leaning voters susceptible to a demagogue’s charms; Shapiro’s basic argument is that too much of Obama’s liberal provocations, for too long, made right-leaning voters long for a strongman of their own.

It’s Not Just Deranged It’s Projection

REUTERS/Carlos Barria

There’s no doubt that when historians assess the Obama presidency, they will pay a great deal of attention to the deep political divisions within the country, and how those divisions shaped political events. There are racial divisions, class divisions, and, most of all, political divisions. Within Congress, for instance, the parties have been moving apart for the last 40 years, as fewer and fewer moderates get elected and the median of both parties moves toward the edge. But the reality is that while Democrats have moved left, Republicans have been moving right much more sharply — a fact not only established by political science but evident to anyone remotely familiar with Capitol Hill.

Yet Republicans are sure that the fault for all this — long-term trends and recent developments alike — can be laid at the feet of Barack Obama, who is terribly, appallingly, despicably divisive.

Here’s the truth: You might like Barack Obama or you might not; you might think he has been a good president or a bad one. But the idea that blame for the political divisions we confront lies solely or even primarily at his door is positively deranged.

They followed through on this plan. As Mitch McConnell explained proudly in 2010, “Our top political priority over the next two years should be to deny Barack Obama a second term.”

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kimtotes · 4 years

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Lol I love you starting shit🤣I noticed many Kurt’s fans,the ones who comment in his posts are Katey’s fans and also Gemma fans,when Theo was prasing Maggie saying she was as big as Katey,because she has been in three very big shows,some people were pissed at him,maybe I’m starting shit too😂but it’s weird Kurt praise every cast member profusely but Maggie👀lol I agree with you on the Wendy situation,like I see so many people saying they ship J/W🙄to each their own I guess,I don’t remember these many shippers before right?maybe I’m wrong bc Theo also mentioned fans were more teamWendy than Tara🤔Anyways is all Sutter’s fault for making the asinine decision of making them bang a last time,he was gonna kill himself the next day ffs??how is that romantic or love??Sutter trying to convince a us that leaving the boys to Wendy was fullfilling Tara’s wishes,bitch please😒why it is important now anyways????

Thankfully I don’t have any Sutter fans who follow me, I’d definitely be getting chewed out 🤣. Yes!! Please start shit with me lol! It’s always the Gemma/Katey fans! Like how are you gonna be mad at Theo for stating a fact?? Also like what do you have against Maggie? I know I don’t agree with the Tara hate, but if you’re gonna hate please separate the character from the actor! I hate Gemma, but I still love Katey! It’s very weird that we never see any Maggie praise from him, honestly we never really have! Yeah, I don’t remember there being this many Wendy fans when it was airing. People actually didn’t really care for Wendy, especially when she came back. Unfortunately we can’t really rely on Theo 🤣. It was always Team Gemma or Team Tara, I don’t remember there being Team Wendy. Exactly!! They really didn’t have to bang! Sutter just wanted one last chance at showing Charlie’s body! That scene also wasn’t romantic or loving, he was using her like he always did! He was sad and needed a distraction, that’s all Wendy ever was for him! I absolutely hate that he tries to say it’s what Tara wanted, like did he miss a big chunk of S6?? She literally tells her that she’s weak and she wouldn’t be a good mother!

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california-doom-merchants · 7 years

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The Apprentice: S1E2

I wrote the first one of these mid-January in between the election and the inauguration and:

I enjoyed writing it to hell

It's my favourite thing I've written in ages

I'm ill so I've got a big ball of spite that needs directing at SOMETHING

Fuck everything this man stands for

So that in mind let's begin. The US Apprentice, Season 1 Episode 2, aka “Sex, Lies and Altitude”, aka “Fucking Kill Me Dead”

First episode didn't have this theme song which opens with the refrain “Money money money, got to have it”

It's nice to be back, as in “the last time I watched this the star of this show didn't have a big red apocalypse button those sure were the days”

It opens on the two guys who didn't get fired walking back into the group

“David is...departed” motherfucker he lost in a reality show he didn't DIE

Alright so for all the opulence around them these guys are sharing rooms which are smaller than dorm rooms, like why the fuck are those even in Trump Tower

Maybe it's to make the co-eds feel more at homeroigoeinrgre

“The reality is that every board meeting will mean someone goes home” that's the basic premise of the show yeah

The women's group are gonna vote on who they want to be project leader

There's a whole bunch of drama between two of the women and like it's a competition aimed at businesspeople, of course they all want to lead this is Not Exactly Surprising

Trump is meeting the tiny apprentice idiots at an advertising agency

“This is Round 2 in a 13 round fight” too many rounds. too many.

Men's group are like “alright it's an advertising task, you worked in advertising, boom you're the leader”

seeing as yesterday you went to THE MOTHERFUCKING NY STOCK EXCHANGE *AIRHORNS* to get told “fuck you, sell lemonade” maybe not the best plan

but what do I know I don't have a BA in Money

One of the women is wearing a multicoloured bandanna at this business meeting and damn if that ain't Early 2000s Aesthetic right there

They meet up with the president of the advertising agency who's like early 50s and ripped and also in a tshirt and jeans for some reason??

He and Trump are very touchy-feely

He shows off his shitty open-plan office like it's the Taj Mahal and a security guard scoots right by them on a fucking scooter

“Advertising is an amazing thing, it's a powerful powerful tool, weapon”

Just drops “weapon” in there as if that's not actually quite disturbing

“this time you're gonna be working on CORPORATE. JETS” and they grin like 9 year olds

they gotta design an advertising campaign which sounds super tedious but again my name ain't Jonny Business what do I know

“the winning team is gonna be flown from New York to Boston by PRIVATE JET. For dinner”

oh boy I hope the jet is covered in gold

also I really hope they have to make their own travel arrangements home. fuck you peasants, third task is hitchhiking you motherfuckers

the advertising guy is like “cool you gotta make a 30 second advert and also a magazine ad”

he also gives them some friendly advice like “swing for the fences. and failure is not an option”.

Another way of putting that is “Take risks, and also make sure nothing goes wrong” which is ??????? you can't have risks without the chance of failure you chiseled fuck

oh wow so I didn't mention last time that each episode has like a business monologue?? from the big white supremacist himself

this one's titled “Don't Negotiate With Underlings”

alright so the “monologue” is like three sentences and two of them are “Deal with the boss”

like leaving aside a) DUH, b) could have titled that like “Talk To The One In Charge” or “Go Straight To The Top”

“Don't Negotiate With Underlings” makes you sound simultaneously like a total shithead but also a total shithead who's dealing with a hostage crisis

An advert popped up for Geena Davis on Will and Grace and props to whoever recorded this for not just switching channels

I don't even watch W&G but give me anyone who was in Thelma & Louise over this garbo

So the women immediately call up the company they're advertising for

“Hi we're working on your ad campaign” yeah in the same way that Maggie Simpson is driving Marge's car

“okay so we have an appointment today with the CEO and senior vice president of marketing” wow lucky they both happened to be free!!!

They are playing up the “this woman is ambitious and mean” angle to the fucking hilt

the leader literally picks one other woman to go to this meeting and fucks off without giving any other instructions

the next shot is them running out of the building and into a road like zoo escapees

the guy leader is like “we don't need to meet with the people who we're designing an ad campaign for, what do they have to offer??”

the women literally have to run to get to the meeting with the CEO

“one of the reasons you've been put on the Marquis Jet case is to wow us” well it was because you'd get to star on primetime CBS

meanwhile all the other women are looking at the jet they're (tangentially) gonna advertise

“my design idea is something that's very...risky” alright lay it on me

“I want to show a phallic symbol” HOLY SHITTTTTTTTT

but no seriously please don't, this show already has all the dicks I can handle

“I want to show a phallic symbol because it's a plane”

“I want to show a phallic symbol because it's a plane and if you buy the card you're gonna go UP. You're gonna go WAY UP”

Then there's a long lingering shot of the front of the plane

Smooth jazz starts playing

Ron Jeremy is there

“it's gonna be so bad they're gonna LOVE IT”

like credit's where it due, it takes a certain sort of courage to get a task like this and go “what if I make it DELIBERATELY shit?”

they're showing the woman they've established as Angry and Uncooperative talking about what a bad idea this is but I'm 100% on her side

and not just out of fuck-the-editors spite, this is so clearly dumb

Speaking of the editors, they've edited this one scene with the guys so badly it looks like one guy phoned another just to tell him who Warren Buffett is

“our project leader isn't motivating us, he needs to be our cheerleader” ummm

“Mr. Trump's been our cheerleader, Donnie's been our cheerleader” this is rapidly approaching Stockholm Syndrome, the only interaction he's had with you is to tell you that you're bad but not quite as bad as someone else

maybe he just knew some really nasty cheerleaders

There's a montage of these guys directing a TV ad being filmed and it could not be more obvious that they're clueless

It just cut to one guy who said “Victory. Victory for the men” and then it cut to someone else

Or maybe I hallucinated it

Nope it's still there

Fuck

Okay holy shit the women's ad just got referred to very casually as “Tammy's Testicle Ad”

There's two photos where they've shot the plane to look like a dick and like balls

That's like something eight year olds would do if given a budget

One of the guys working back at the office has literally laid down on the conference room floor to sleep

Honestly I don't even have the heart to make fun, I'm here for the obnoxious business people and the fascist in charge, not the guy who's clearly not in the right place emotionally to be on a TV show

The women are getting into full flight attendant outfits to make their pitch because “it's the full experience that sells it”, in which case where are your dongs

they're also doing a direct mail side of the campaign and the guy they're selling to is like “but people just toss direct mail”

She assured him it's “damn good”

I'm just enjoying the moment before he realizes their definition of “damn good” is largely genitalia-themed

These posters are the worst thing I've ever seen

also who the fuck direct mails a fucking private jet renting service? know your audience like what the ass

“alright guys you've set the women's movement back about 70 years”

damn dude imagine being told “hey design an advert for a plane!” and then two days later being told “you are traitors to your gender”

The guys are getting ready to present

“I am the Zen Master of presentation” yes but how capable are you of talking about DONGS

oh my god the men have made a Powerpoint and it actually has the “pie charts woosh onto screen” effects

they don't mention it but the pie chart absolutely mentions direct mail so both teams must have been told to do this very stupid thing

then they hand the committee first class cigars at the end

the committee is torn between the men's “a bit generic but overall good” approach and the women's “DICKS AND BALLS DICKS AND BALLS” approach

Everyone gets called back in so the ad company guy can call “The Big Guy”

The women won

I hate this

The women all get into a limo to go to their private jet and they shout “Donald's Divas!” and I can't anymore

Meanwhile the men are bickering

“Here's my guarantee to you – someone's getting fired tomorrow”

like is this stuff handed to them on a cue card or do people on reality shows just spend all their time re-iterating the concept and premise to other people on the show

“The jet was a taste of the Trump lifestyle” honestly props on making a TV series that is essentially an advert for yourself and getting it to last 10 plus seasons

Then there's this contrast montage of the women eating in this fancy restaurant and the guys eating at their shitty apartment complex

but you know what? the men look like they're happy and the women are all alone in a restaurant and look pretty miserable

why do the rewards always make me envy the losers more

is it because the winners have extra Trump proximity

(yes)

I don't want to get into the “drama” because it's like 95% manufactured but yeah the women are arguing

Race comes into it and frankly I can't imagine a worse forum to discuss misogynoir

but apparently this whole “flight to Boston, dinner, flight back” means they're on the move at 4am and that seems more like a penalty to the next round than anything else

like did nobody think of this?? or is this more of this “successful people don't need sleep” shit

one of the guys (the dude who slept) is very obviously freaking out and one of the guy says “sit down, relax, close your eyes”, puts a cowboy hat on him and gives this monologue like “imagine yourself fishing, the mountains at your back”

the other man thanks him and stays there for a bit

honestly I feel like I'm meant to laugh at this but it's oddly touching

smash cut to someone else - “yeah we need to fire that guy”

the losing team has to pack up all their stuff every time they go to the boardroom and I imagine that being just a hassle rather than genuinely unsettling

Trump walks into the boardroom out of the shadows just like he does in my nightmares

it's surreal watching these guys defend a “losing” idea which was actually professional

“you should have met with the guy who hired you” well YES

the team leader has to pick two other people who were responsible for losing

but the whole reason they lost was due to a decision he made so he picks the “fell asleep” guy and then someone else seemingly at random

this is Not A Very Well Thought Out Aspect Of Your Show

“I had to pick someone!” and then Trump's like “bit disloyal”

No it's literally one of the rules of your shitty TV franchise

The team leader is lying about stuff which is on tape which is a bold move

but dick-themed direct mail was also a bold move so what do I know

“Sam, you're a disaster, don't take offence, everyone hates you”

This is said to the same guy who was like “Donnie's our cheerleader!”

The team leader got fired

Honestly I think it's more because they think the other guy is good TV and they don't want to get rid of him too soon

and for someone who just didn't get fired he looks really quite upset

guy who got fired is like “I'll call you direct in five years when I have my first building”

I googled it, he does not own a building

So in summary – this wasn't fun. This wasn't interesting. This wasn't good television, or even good reality television. At best it got me to laugh at an absolutely terrible ad campaign and at worst it just made me feel bad for the guy who got fired, the guy who didn't get fired, the cast, the crew, the security guard on the ridiculous looking scooter and pretty much everyone involved in this trainwreck besides the walking talking constitutional crisis at the centre of it.

See you for Part 3!

#the apprentice

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