#also no room for any more clothes
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whenever I see early to mid 2000s japanese street/harajuku fashion, my inner preteen is rattling the bars of its cage, BEGGING me to dress my current self in old school gothic lolita/visual kei/egl/ega outfits and tease the shit out of my hair and put on the messiest most elaborate make up and have the best time of my life
#ugh... miss the hours i spent browsing deviantart back in the day and seeing all these cool people#so many photographs from back when it was still lowkey frowned upon to take pictures of shops in harajuku#no money time or energy at the moment tho#also no room for any more clothes#first i gotta find a new home for stuff i don't wear anymore#and then try to get the rid of the mold in my walls and redo my entire room#and maybe buy a proper wardrobe#save up some money to buy necessities like a new computer that's not 7 years old and struggling to boot up each day#and THEN i can MAYBE think about giving into those urges
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i need fgo to acknowledge servants horses more
#achilles isn't enough i need to know how each servant is around their horse(s)#i think that duryodhana has two main steeds and would have a hard time controlling them for when he's being petulant#highest ranking older mare (12-16) + her offspring (4-8) the older one would have a stubborn and calm temperament who doesn't respect duryo#and her daughter would have the same kind of chill but would be more playful and curious. dur is talking with his brothers & she trots over#starts nuzzling and sniffing his clothes because she's bored. duryo keeps talking but starts petting her#i also think duryodhana has instinctively good balance and he's good at multitasking so showmanship-like riding comes to him easily#but he's shit at all horse maintenance. especially hoof care; he's convinced his girls are going to kick him and doesn't want to even try i#but he wants good care for his horses so he watches over the servants tending to them. bossy yet incompetent duryodhana 馃グ#we know georgios is a good owner but i think he likes rein maintenance & spends a fair amount of time making sure bayards armor is spotless#lalter gives out snacks more easily than her counterpart (going after the wild hunt takes energy! llamrei is a good girl!)#percival is great with horses in general and he enjoys taking care of them and will help out any other knights if they're having trouble#ashvatthaman is (un)surprisingly really good with young stallions. he's not afraid of them at all and will scold them for their mean deeds#horse tries to eat his clothes or nibble his hair and he's like. oi stop that you bastard. and the horse listens (will eat his hair later)#prince of lanling is very thorough with horses getting enough feed and water and will make sure they're well rested#arjuna is like. the main character of a horse movie. he's emotionally sensitive with them & bonds with horses easily (who sense his worries#works really really hard to be good at riding and wants to leave no room for mistakes. really aware of his posture at all times#we had dogy event please give me hors event... horses cute and underrated<-most biased man talking
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unbearable eroticism of one鈥檚 girlfriend wearing jeans and a hoodie
#they normally do a whole Smart Casual situation not that they wld conceptualize it as such#such that the first time i really saw them in comfortable relaxed clothes was when i was being overloaded with feelings#during our platonic besties' spring-break-at-your-friend's-house-without-their-girlfriend activity like 2 wks before we got together#so i have certain unshakeable associations between ''gf wears like a slightly oversized college sweatshirt''#and ''at long last you are about to receive something like unto that for which you have longed lo these untold years;#and yet that which remains unresolved burns ever more fervently!''#etc. you know how it is#you know when it's spring break and youre at their childhood home and you have your own guest room but they asked to you sleep#in their bed anyway. because otherwise they miss you too much. and then they explain that they want to put your platonic friendship over any#future romantic relationships they might have. and they're wearing a HACK NIGHTS 2017 t shirt. and you wonder if you are in hell#anyway. now they also have a WORLD'S OKAYEST LESBIAN shirt. and jeans. and i am going to bite thru my arm#box opener
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You know how I said Prickly Alpaca is me if I was a cis woman? ... So she just got a male styrofoam head (she already had a female one before) that she鈥檚 lovingly given a generic man name. Eric and I say hi 馃憢
(Eric is currently being a catboy over on my shelf)
#pricklyalpaca#she called him Nigel#styrofoam head#Imma be a youtuber#dude after I finish matriarchy (and sort out various other things in my life atm) I am looking forward to doing more fun sewing projects#and other videos too#but I'm looking forward to making fun clothes that fit me properly#cause I didn't have like any space in my old tiny london room and also the issue of transition measurement changes to account for#but I am mood boarding I have a list I located the local fabric shop#(I'm not linking the videos of mine eric was a guest on so far cause eesh I got a glimpse of my old voice and nope#but feel free to go look for them I suppose he's in one of the thumbnails)
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making nemesis a big stupid thang still feels lame to me
#its very marvel movie brained its like well hes not Scary if hes not Big but ur playing a third person game so the scale is lost#and it just makes him look like a big bumbling asshole#vs original nemesis being so scary bc he could be in literally any tiny ass room jill can fit in cus hes barely taller#also the fact that he gets beat up by her just doesnt work when she has to drive cars into him and shit#like i get it le epic re7 reference or wahtever but it just really really highlights how much nemesis is shitty mr x#esp when giving mr x a relaly human appearance with normal clothes made him feel more like a normal guy#despite him being a stupid idiot zombie who cant think and nemesis being like an actual normal human in there#well. a weird little bug that is as smart as human in there
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My favorite bit of I'm In Mental Shambles tech is The Despair Wrap-Around, in which you, in your despair, let go of your responsibilities & basic funtions, causing the quality of yourself & your surroundings to go down, causing you to sink further into despair, until eventually a seperate person walks in & goes, "Wow, the way you live is disgusting, you should feel ashamed" only for that to trigger -- guess what? -- MORE FUCKING DESPAIR.
#gale chatter#negative#vent#yeah you're right! i didn't notice! I didn't notice that i had stopped eating & drinking & taking my pills & showering & leaving my room#& cleaning my room & washing my clothes & taking out my dirty dishes & my trash & making my bed & brushing my teeth & my hair#i DIDN'T NOTICE ANY OF THAT HOW CRAZY YYYU AREN'T I SO GROSS HA HA HA HA HAHA AA#I'm going to fucking blow my brains out & leave all this ugly mess to another person because i am too gross to live.#oh & also sleeping! i have not slept more than 6 hours a day in the past month
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reusing serafine for wren is exactly the kind of expected laziness pb always resorts to. i dont think its fair to compare the asset recycling to tyrils family or imturas mom though because yknow. theyre not humans. of course editing an existing sprite wouldve been the same amount of work to just make a brand new one for entirely different races
#they couldve changed her clothes but ngl im not mad about it when a b3 is extremely unlikely and shes barely even a side character#ever since wb ended and i stopped playing until cop2/bolas2 i always forget about this blog rip#besides the pacing and wasting aerin/valax by having them be completely absent from so much of the book i like b2#i dont hate what theyre doing with mal but its absolutely bc they had to make room for aerin/valax at the expense of the actual lis#imtura last chapter got more than i was expecting tbh i was just assuming she wouldnt have any plotlines like in b1. thats it for her thoug#i guess i dont see much of a point in how theyre handling aerin/valaxs arcs. both romance wise and general plot wise#neither of them are there for long enough to make their romance routes meaningful and when there is actual development theyre just#written out for a few weeks until they waltz back into the narrative. its a waste to have antagonists turned lis when theyre never there#id love to see an alternate b2 where aerin and valax arent shoehorned into the party solely bc i wanna see what theyd do with mal and imtur#without having to give up so much for two new barely fleshed out romance routes#oh id also wanna see nia pissed about aerin too. i get that when he was there she needed to believe he wasnt just shadow as hope for her#but no!!! let her go apeshit on the man who kidnapped her lead to her being possessed and killed by mc!! her best friend or partner!!!!
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Why is it when I have a big task to complete that should take days to do, I procrastinate the hell out of it when I have plenty of time but when it comes down to the absolute last minute, I can do a couple of days work in a couple of hours? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why couldn't I do it casually over a couple of days but can do it in matter of hours?
#ace is a mess#Tag talk#personal#i started to organising/clearing out my room at my parent's four days ago did half of one aspect of it did the other half of it two days#later then did nothing else and yet today ive done pretty much everything else that shouldve taken days in 3 hours? wtf#im losing my room when i go back to uni its being repurposed for someone else and so i needed to actually all of the sht i havent organised#since we moved in in 2018 then made even more disorganised when i moved to uni in 2020 i havent organised ANYTHING the entire time weve bee#here because i was supposed to be getting different furniture and then that just never happened and then im rarely here and just end up l#living out of my suitcase and between switching out cold weather and hot weather clothing over breaks its just become more chaotic and has#been too big of a job for me to even contemplate tackling and now im leaving tomorrow and i have literally choice and have done 5 years wor#in a couple of hours like why? why do i intentionally stress myself out like this? why cant i make decisions if im not at peak stress level#why dont i have any motivation unless im literally feeling ill with stress? why do i work like this?#also yes i know its ridiculous ive been living like this sincee sept 2018 but consider most of the problem was closed inside drawers and#therefore i couldnt see it so it didnt exist. that and im not here much i guess
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SELF SIM BLAST
#i don't have any cc for clothes i actually wear so we get this absolute banger of a maxis look#shoutout to female facial hair unlocker so i can have my stupid ass sideburns#the glasses clip into the nose which only makes it more accurate to real life#i'm working on making my own simstyle while i'm at it hehahu#my hair is also bushier than that but well whatever#ft a room i made to check out some cc in my test hood
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sometimes I'm like do I dress gay enough??? and then this is how I dressed for class today like,,,
hello???
I wonder if I have eyes sometimes
#ignore my dirty mirror i literally washed it after these photos#this is more for me than anyone blegh#can't believe i would forget this is how i look#that and gay people immediately sat next to me ans started talking to me#wild how that works i guess#anyways#gay#nonbinary#my outfits#clothing#my photos#also ignore any messes in my room#god forbid a boys room is messy#and i know fashion is not always an indicator for queerness#but i like to be a shining beacon that screams gay if i can be lol#also hello mutuals who have yet to see my physical form#queer
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there are two wolves inside you:
one wants to constantly dress like an understated butch lesbian
the other wants to get into lolita fashion
you are me
#loaf to void#a standard look for me is black collared singlet black pants black docks and maybe a button down on top#like its not the most butch thing but its got style#(the real answer to this is i just have lots of good outfits that i can confuse people by cycling through)#(i do love a collared singlet tho)#(i have 3 different black collared singlets one of which is home made)#(any way something something i find stereotypes and approaches to gender sometimes interesting because i work in a still very male#dominated field my career interests in programming and physics tend to get coded publicly as a more male thing#ive been in a lot of places where i am the only woman in the room#im gay and then i also like frilly dresses and sewing)#(which is also kinda interesting because i do not enjoy following standard style trends)#(im just doing my own thing)#my formal wear oscilates between jumpsuits and dresses with more classical silhouettes#(i also wear the boots with the dresses)#really i can have it all#(which once again makes me annoyed at the lack of good options in mens clothing! its so hard to find interesting patterns for my friends!)
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on a lighter note cass has a collection of plushies in her apartment in bludhaven. lots of black cats but other lil cryptids are sprinkled in there
#shes got a few places... one in bludhaven which is her main one#two in Gotham. one that's more of a batcave than a home and the other being Wayne manor#actually there's also that one she lived in when Bruce kicked her outta the super hero game for a while#she does not go to that one ever because she hates it but it's probably still vacant and under her (Bruce's) name FHDJFND#bludhavens her main one tho i think... it was the one she was most excited for and that she actually tried to make her own#and cassie moves in with her there so that hells#helps*#her room in Wayne manor is pretty bare bones doesn't have any posters or decor just some clothes and extra amenities#hc.
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had an absolutely miserable time trying to buy pants for new cutoffs today and phil keeps sending wang-related emails to corporate that make me sound like the unabomber
#I AM NOT IN ANY WAY PERSONALLY AFFECTED BY THE SIZE ON THE TAG OF THE PANTS I TRULY DO NOT GIVE A SHIT#I'M NOT WRONG Y'ALLS CLOTHES IS WRONG#however. supREMELY troublesome when i go into a fitting room with two sizes of a garment and have to cycle through FOUR before i find the#size that's gonna fit me#like. i've bought pants from this brand before. i know my size. i know my 'usual' size across the board. i know my size in all possible#lines and also in just straight inches too!!#I HAVE NOT CHANGED SIZE OR SHAPE. HOW THEE FUCK. IS YOUR STUFF CUT SO BADLY. THAT I AM FOUR SIZES UP FROM WHAT I USUALLY WEAR IN YOUR BRAND#it was a horrible experience bc Clothes Wrong and i was on break trying to hurry & the two people I DO NOT LIKE were the only ones working &#i had to keep asking for more sizes like a fucking hedonist#anyway @hottopic FIX YOUR SHIT that was a godawful experience lmao
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#why should I have to clear with my mom on whether I can or can鈥檛 get my hair recolored. I鈥檓 in ny senior year of high school and#this close to either dropping out or removing myself from existence. Why can鈥檛 I have at least some control over my fucking#body. I鈥檓 not allowed to get my fucking hair cut unless I clear it with her. I can鈥檛 wear the clothes I want to wear without her approval.#I can鈥檛 be my own damn self in the house I have to live in. I鈥檓 not even allowed to voice my own damn opinions without getting#yelled at. And yet everyone else can voice their opinion at any fucking point without being told to shut up or think differently.#I can鈥檛 be happy for more than a fee hours without someone in this fucking house raining on my parade. I can鈥檛 even watch#the shows I want to watch out in the living room because they鈥檙e all animated and these fuckers think pretty much any animated#show is anime. And for some stupid fucking reason these assholes hate anime. Literally only one of the shows I watch#is an anime. Its also the only show I watch because all anyone else in this house likes is fucking soap operas. They鈥檙e all#the same damn shit but a different show. They also have far worse scenes in them than half the things I watch.#vent
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never mind people not knowing how to open a mailbox or rattling on doors every day, the one thing that confuses the shit out of me is how my neighbours do their laundry.
#lily talks#the rage i feel when i wait multiple hours for a machine to be free and in comes the owner of the stuff and takes out a single hoodie and a#pair of socks#WHY?????#not only is it annoying as fuck but also the amount of water needed???#ever heard about the environment?????#and no this isn't an outlier#in the drying room there's only laundry loads like that on the lines#i don't know what's so hard about collecting dirty clothes for a few days so you can run a full machine????#like they aren't free either#it just doesn't make ANY sense#why would you pay 2 euro to wash a single pair of jeans and a towel???#i get it if you need it for something asap but every single time???#i have never once seen a person put more than 5 items into a washing machine
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honestly revision is probably actually fun when i do it regularly and when im not cramming before a test. the sense of satisfaction that comes with it is so beautiful i can practically taste it
#the problem lies in the freaking motivation#i just had the motivation to clean my room and fold my clothes and turn on the air-conditioner so i have a conducive environment#but that alone was tiring already and i'm overwhelmed by my homework pile#anyway i don't mean to rant my point is that lack of motivation sucks and im sure if i had any id be in a way better place right now#also is it just me but revision sounds way better than studying like i actually have way more motivation to do that than study although#theyre probably the same thing?? lol
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