#also not lost on me that everyone agreeing in the notes lol is white...

[maxellminidisc]

Literally just saw a white person equating people on this website criticizing peoples financial ability to give their money to tumblr to cult behavior and I genuinely fucking hate y'all.

Like are there scammers on here? Yeah sometimes there are. But its not lost on me that a critical component of the conversation they conveniently omitted is that a majority of the people who were upset about peoples blue check mark bullshit and blaze are people of color. And that is incredibly relevant.

Users of color on this website with mutual aid posts experience so much vile harassment compared to white people and people's mutual aid posts for their pets. Youre seriously going to sit there and tell me it's not infuriating to watch mutual aid posts for people's funerals or cancer treatments go unmet but see a white persons goals to buy a fucking "cottage" or fund some jackshit project that ends up falling through get met in lightning speed!? It's funny how you guys don't consider that a scam but consider poc who are stuck in a perpetual cycle of poverty scammers cause they make more than one mutual aid post.

Not to mention, I literally have seen my Black mutuals in particular get sent fucking death threats, threats of rape, and racial slurs CONSTANTLY for daring to ask for help. Them and other poc being pretty understandably angry about the way white people on this website show 0 empathy for the struggle of poc on this website but have 0 problem and abundant willingness to prioritize the needs of animals and this racist, transphobic, fascist/pedophile harboring website for "fun" isn't "cult shit". Jesus christ get a grip.

You're all just butt hurt that yet yet again your racist fucking behavior as a group on this website is spelled out for you and it makes y'all stupidly uncomfortable and well, stupid. So excuse poc for being fucking pissed that the white people on this website continue to dehumanize and reduce their struggle over a fucking dog's medical bills and a fucking bundle of pixels that doesnt even operate across the platform, I guess!!

[five-hxrgreeves]

Two Positives Equal a Negative (Or Something Like That)

PAIRING: adam warlock & fem! quill’s sister!reader

WC: 2.8k (again, a long one. I just can’t seem to write anything short!) 

SUMMARY: you’ve always had trouble sleeping thanks your numerous (unfortunate) life experiences. While he hasn’t lived as long as you have, Adam has a similar problem. Fortunately, a Terran phrase that your brother taught you might have the solution that you seek.

WARNINGS: slight gotg three spoilers, fluff, angst if you squint.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: okay, so I accidentally lied and I realized that my last one-shot wasn’t my first official one; I wrote a Natasha x reader several years ago. I just don’t post on here that often so I forgot about it, lol. Anyway, Adam Warlock currently has a chokehold on me so here’s another one-shot for him- the sequel that I mentioned on the last one. I’m tempted to write a Gally one/two-shot, but I’m not familiar with the TMR universe so I’m worried that I’d mess it up.

Also, I know that the phrase is actually ‘two negatives equal a positive,’ but I was drawing on the fact that non-Terrans wouldn’t really remember/understand Peter’s references, and since ‘you’ had only been to Earth during Endgame, you it mixed up.

Part 0 , Part 1

You’d always had trouble sleeping, especially on your father’s planet. There had just been a sense of. . . wrongness that you didn’t need Mantis’ empath powers to feel. It had made you on edge most of the time, alert for the unseen danger that you felt. While this might’ve just been your role as Ego’s protector speaking, you knew that your sister felt similarly. Mantis had once offered to put you to sleep using her powers, which you’d agreed to. Although it had worked, you hadn’t liked the feeling of your emotions being messed with, or the vulnerability that came with sleep. Even though you trusted that your sister wouldn’t hurt you, Ego was a different story entirely.

So, that meant that you were up most of the time with only catnaps and snatches of sleep when absolutely necessary. (Luckily your enhanced stamina helped in this case so it wasn’t terribly detrimental to your wellbeing.) It was hard to hide your unusual sleep patterns on the Milano with your new friends since there wasn’t space to walk around like there had been on Ego’s planet. But the Guardians all had various traumas of their own, so they understood the difficulty of getting peaceful rest. Some nights had even been better than others as Peter would teach you how to play Terran card games, which would then include the rest of the Guardians once you’d learned.

You also liked to sit in the pilot’s chair late at night and watch the darkness of space light up around you. It was funny, really; everyone expected space to be a dark, black vacuum of nothing when it was actually just the opposite. Sure, there was no physical form of life, but space was alive in its own way. As the Milano sailed aimlessly through the stars, you’d pass the orange-red clouds of dust and gas— nebulas. Or the brilliant white-blue of a dying star, or the different hues of blue-black that surrounded you. Space was truly beautiful, which was something that you never tried to take for granted.

But now you were stuck on Knowhere. There were no brilliant colors of space to distract you or friends to play card games with. Mantis was gone— your only source of comfort on those long nights when you’d served your father. You were alone, with nothing but a Zune to distract you as you sat, bored, in the kitchen late into the night. You’d decided on some calmer tunes and were currently listening to the Frank Sinatra playlist you’d curated. A warm mug of tea— which Peter had also introduced you to— sat between your hands as your eyes glazed over, getting lost in your music.

--

As it turned out, Adam wasn’t that great of a sleeper, either. It always felt like there was too much energy running through him to be properly restful— not to mention that, whenever he closed his eyes, he saw his mother waiting for him as he flew desperately towards her. And then the explosion would come, jolting him out of sleep as a reminder of his failure.

With a sigh, he pushed back his covers and stood. Since he was already dressed (his mother had always told him to be ready for anything), he made his way to the kitchen where he’d baked cookies with you. It hadn’t been that long ago, but he already missed the comfortable, homey feeling he’d gotten as he formed the batter into spheres with you standing at his side. You had yet to talk to Rocket about how his comments made you feel, but he knew it was because you respected your teammate and didn’t like making a big deal out of things. Thinking about you now, he sort of hoped that he would see you in the kitchen when he got there— but that was a crazy thought; it was the middle of the night! Any normal person would be in a deep sleep by now.

So, it was definitely a pleasant surprise when he came upon you, sitting at the head of the table. Your earbuds were in your ears, as usual, and you seemed to be deep in thought as you absentmindedly traced the rim of your mug with your finger. He was comfortable enough with you to approach you without hesitation, so he took the chair next to yours and nudged you gently to get your attention.

You jumped, startled by the unexpected presence of someone else in the room. At first you had a wild thought that it might be Peter, who came to keep you company as he often had. You were only mildly disappointed to see that it was Adam instead (and this was just because you missed your brother; you were actually quite happy to see the golden boy.) You took out your earbuds and paused your music. “You’re up late. Or early.”

His golden eyes met yours— something you noticed that he did often; it seemed that eye contact was his way of showing that he was listening to you, which always made your stomach flutter pleasantly. “So are you,” he replied. “Can’t sleep?”

“Nah,” you said with a shrug. “You?”

“Me either,” he agreed.

You sat in a comfortable silence together, one so long that you were almost tempted to  put your earbuds back in. Maybe this was a one-off thing; you’d never seen him before on your sleepless nights. Maybe he wasn’t used to being up at this hour and just wasn’t as talkative as he normally was with you. But you were also curious; what could a supposedly perfect being be troubled with at night? So, you sighed, and against your better judgement (as you hated to talk about your feelings), you asked, “wanna talk about it?”

But Adam also knew how you were, and he shook his head. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind just sitting here.” He got to enjoy your company, after all, so he considered tonight to be better than most.

You let out another sigh. As much as you hated getting touchy-feely, the night was already very boring; sitting and not talking would only make it worse. “I don’t mind, actually. I’m used to being around other people when I’m up like this. Talking would make the time pass faster.” You studied his expression for a moment, which was unusually unreadable; it always seemed like he had a kind smile or glance to send your way. “We can start off easy, if you want. Are you up like this every night?”

His expression softened at your willingness to go outside your comfort zone, so he answered honestly. (He had nothing that he wanted to hide from you, anyway.) “Most nights, yeah. What about you?”

“Same,” you agreed. You played with the rubber protective tip on your earbud. “Can’t get to sleep or bad dreams?”

“Both,” Adam admitted. “Although it’s usually the first one.”

You nodded. “Same, again, but for me it’s mostly the latter. You remember when I said that you weren’t the first person to try and kill me?” At his confirmation (because how could he have forgotten that?), you continued, “yeah. It’s mostly that. My father was a great parent,” you finished sarcastically.

When you’d first become friends, you’d shared stories about the Guardians’ adventures— even the ones that had happened before you’d joined the team— although they’d mostly been lighthearted in tone. You’d acted like they hadn’t really affected you and had laughed at the fact that your father’s planet had tried to swallow you whole. Adam sort of wished that your father was still alive so he could fight him for you. While his mother had had her moments of parenting issues, he’d never doubted that she did love him; it was clear that this wasn’t the case with your father.

“I’m sorry,” he said, not really sure what else he could say. Despite everything that had happened to you, you were still a good person; you hadn’t fought the Guardians on your first meeting like he had, which already made you better than him. He wished that there was something he could do (such as getting revenge for you) to help ease whatever burden you were feeling as you often had for him, but there didn’t seem like there was anything that he could do.

“Don’t worry about it,” you replied in a blasé tone, already moving on from your heavy things. “Want to talk about your stuff?”

He shifted in his seat, a little uncomfortable to admit his failure to you. He wanted to prove that he was just as capable as you were, and this was one of his worst moments. “I. . . keep thinking about my mother.” His gaze dropped to where his hands were folded on the table, unable to watch your reaction in case you thought worse of him. “How I. . . wasn’t able to save her. I was so close, too. If only I’d been faster—”

You reached out a hand to put it on top of both of his, cutting him off. Yours was much smaller in comparison, barely covering even one of his hands. He looked up at you with surprise, feeling his face heat up at the contact. Your usually jovial expression was uncharacteristically serious as you chided him gently, “stop. Thinking like that never helps, you know. You’ll drive yourself mad if you keep wondering ‘what if.’ I should know.”

While he was relieved that his fears about your reaction were unfounded, he frowned at your last words. “What do you mean?”

You pretended not to notice that your hands were still holding his as you answered, “remember what I told you about the Snap?” At his nod, you continued, “Peter and I were the only ones who weren’t trying to subdue Thanos. My powers are mostly defensive, so they would only anger him, which was the opposite of what we were trying to do. Peter got— understandably— distraught at the news of Gamora’s death and he was practically solely responsible for the Snap.” You sighed heavily, dropping your gaze from him. “As the only other person not doing anything on that planet, I could’ve stopped him, but he was my brother; I couldn’t hurt him. But if I had. . . everything could’ve been so much different. In a way, I was responsible for the Snap, too.”

While he understood your reasoning, he didn’t completely agree with it. You’d filled him in with great detail about the Infinity War, which you’d only learned the missing parts after you’d been brought back. So, he insisted quietly, “Thor could’ve also gone for Thanos’ head, but he didn’t.”

“But Thanos wouldn’t have even gotten to the Terran planet if we’d stopped him on Titan. You see what I mean? These what-ifs really messed with my head— still do. You eventually just have to accept the fact that the situation can’t be changed and learn from your mistakes.” In a lighter tone you added, “I promised myself that the next time I needed to sock it to Peter, I wouldn’t hesitate. Maybe a good hit to the head would knock some common sense back into him.”

Adam chuckled at this, his serious expression lifting. Sensing that you didn’t want to talk about such emotional topics anymore, he changed the subject slightly. “So you’re up every night because of these thoughts? Don’t you need sleep?”

“Yeah, but I’ve got enhanced stamina, so not as much as a regular person,” you said, relieved that he picked up on your hint. “What about you? You’re practically a god yourself.”

He felt his face flush with (pleased) embarrassment at your indirect compliment, even if it was truthful. “That’s part of the problem, I think,” he explained. “All this power. . . it gives me too much energy and. . . I can’t sleep.”

You frowned thoughtfully at your similar predicaments, an idea (admittedly, a stupid enough one that Peter could’ve come up with it) forming in your mind. “Y’know,” you began slowly, “Peter taught me a Terran phrase awhile back. I can’t exactly remember how it goes— it’s like two positives equal a negative, or something like that— and it means that when there’s two good things, it cancels out the bad one. We could try and apply it here.”

He gave you a curious look. “Really? How?”

“Well, since we both can’t sleep— that’s the negative— maybe. . . maybe if we slept. . .” You felt your face burning at your suggestion. “If we slept. . . tog— well, not together-together, I mean— with each— does that sound worse? I—” you struggled to find the right wording that wouldn’t come off as suggestive. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you added hastily, misunderstanding his bemused expression.

“Little Quill,” he teased you lightly, “you haven’t even gotten the question out.”

Oh. You only felt even more embarrassed. “Do you want to sleep in my room?” you finally managed to blurt out, burying your face in your hands, unable to look at the boy across from you.

Instead of taking offense or making fun of you as you’d expected, Adam seemed to actually consider your offer. “Do you think it would work?”

At his question, you dropped your hands to your lap and shrugged, though your face was still very red. He seemed remarkably unflustered, not that you could tell if he was (damn his beautiful golden skin— wait, what?) “I don’t know,” you mumbled, still refusing to look at him. “I can only sleep if I feel safe, and there’s only one person I ever felt that way with— Mantis. But. . . now I think that includes you, too.”

Adam couldn’t help the bright smile that formed on his face at your words, the thought that you felt safe with him (especially after everything that he’d done to you and your friends) meant more than he could say. The thought that you would willingly be vulnerable in his presence made his stomach feel enjoyably— and inexplicably— nauseous. “I feel safe around you too,” he replied without hesitation. “And. . . I wouldn’t mind trying it.”

--

Not long after, the two of you returned to the room you were renting in the dorm-style building. Since neither you nor Adam had family to speak of (and were also short on funds), you’d both found rooms in a tenant building that had lots of other people, many of whom had lost their homes during the Guardians’ most recent adventures. Luckily you’d gotten a room to yourself, though you had to share basic facilities with everyone else.

“You can sleep in the bed since this was my idea,” you offered. You were still in what you considered your pajamas, so you just had to gather some spare blankets and pillows.

Adam shook his head, against the thought of you making accommodations for him. “I can sleep on the floor. You shouldn’t have to give up your bed.”

“It’s not like I use it much anyway,” you joke, pulling the covers back. “But if you’re seriously against me sleeping on the floor, I guess we could. . . share?”

He seemed not to mind your proposal as he agreed readily, and after taking off his shoes, he made to get in when you spoke again with a confused look on your face. “You. . . sleep in your clothes? No wonder why you can’t get comfortable!”

Adam seemed to not understand your comment. “You sleep in your clothes.”

You laughed a little at his observation. “These are sleep clothes, not everyday clothes. At least take off your jacket,” you reasoned.

But as he did so, you realized why he hadn’t gotten more comfortable: there was nothing except chiseled chest under his clothes. You blushed and tried (but failed) not to stare as he got into bed next to you, admiring the way his muscles flexed with his movement. Luckily he seemed to not notice your attention as he settled next to you. There was a sizeable gap between you two despite the bed not being very big, one that you wished you had the guts to close. (Wait— again, what?)

You wondered how you’d ever get to sleep with all that muscle right behind you (okay, this one you could admit freely), but somehow, in the quiet stillness of your dark room, the safe, peaceful feeling lulled you into the first restful slumber that you’d had since your siblings had left months ago.

--

And if you woke up the next morning, curled up against Adam’s chest with his arm wrapped around you protectively, neither of you bothered to say anything about it.

[vokis-inn-and-tavern]

for tlovm, ive been hooked on a modern!reader getting into Exandria and VM trying to help them home (but there's no way back lol) it doesn't have to be the exact moment they came through but id love headcanons of the journey, (whether its modern world of exandria or our world, just all i ask is there's no mention of reader knowing the show, like an isekai)

No way home

Characters: Vex'ahlia, Vax'ildan, Keyleth, Percy FancyLongName de Rolo, Pike Trickfoot, Grog Strongjaw, Scanlan Shorthalt, (and a guest appearance from Gilmore)

Type of Request: Headcannons

Word count: 1,887 words.

Notes: Usually don't write modern!reader but this gave me such a brainworm

You ended up in this weird fantasy world about... two weeks ago? You've lost count. You were just driving to home from larp event you had with your friends. It was late and you only closed your eyes for a moment, no more than a blink, and when you opened your eyes it was just you in the middle of a forest. But you've survived and managed to get a few odd jobs killing rats, spiders, and that one wolf pack (You can thank inflation your ability to stretch a gold piece). You are just trying to get a drink in this small town tavern when guards barge in saying that you're a part of this group, Vox Machina, and that you're under arrest. Despite your protests that you've never even heard of a "Vox Machina" you are thrown in this cell with two really short people (gnomes you think they're called?), two women with lightly pointed ears, a man with glasses and white hair, and a very tall and beefy bald man with grey skin.

...

Fuck.

Pike

Oh, you're so lost, and luckily she notices.

"Don't worry, we won't be here long."

She introduces you to everyone (and lightly smacks Scanlan when he flirts with you).

When you all break get out of jail, she is one of the first to suggest that you should come with him. After all, you clearly need help to actually be stable enough on your feet to protect yourself.

Loves hearing about your family.

The second she hears about you wanting to go home she's helping.

Buys every book on dimensional travel that she comes across. Takes notes on what you say happened. Asks every wizard she meets.

Girly just wants you to be happy and if that takes you going home then so be it.

Eventually Gilmore thinks that they've collected enough information for him to cast the spell.

Pike watches as you step into the circle, almost as excited as you!

And watches that expression turn to dread as the spell fails.

And that expression turn to despair when it fails again.

You are in your room for the rest of the night, missing dinner.

Pike knocks on your door that night, bringing dinner.

Her heart breaks even more when she sees your tear streaked face.

After she insures that you have eaten, you make her promise to stay.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay, I promise."

She lets you curl around her, clutching her close like a teddy bear.

In the morning she makes your favorite breakfast. And from then on she stays by your side.

Vax

Yeah... He's the one who told the guards that you were a member of Vox Machina. Also the one who broke all of you out.

"Sorry about that... But, I mean, I did also break you out of jail... So... Even?"

Agrees with Pike, you don't seem quite competent enough to be left to your own devices. Especially after figuring out that you don't even know what a half-elf is.

Is honest with you and tells you the about elves' less than stellar opinion on half-elves.

Thinks a world without magic weird. Like, how do you defend yourself from bandits without magic 'cause you don't really seem like the type who can only use mundane weapons.

Teaches you some dagger basics, just to make sure you can protect yourself.

He helps gather supplies for Gilmore's spell, just don't ask how he got them.

It's a bittersweet goodbye for him as you step into the circle, it feels like only yesterday when you met.

His small smile falls when the spell fails, his heart breaking for you when it fails a second.

He barely holds himself back from chasing after you as you run off to your room, he knows the face of someone who is barely avoiding crying, but he decides to leave you alone for now.

That mentality only lasts till dinner. The second he doesn't see you at the table he grabs both of your plates and heads to your room.

He doesn't bother to knock as he enters, sitting next to you on your bed and offering you a plate. He makes sure that you eat at least half of it.

Offers to stay with you. Even if you can't go home to your family, you should at least have some company.

"Hey, I'm here for you, all of us are."

Holds you close for the rest of the night, draping one of his raven wings over you like a blanket.

The next day is all about you. Vax waits on you, don't even worry about leaving the bed. Oh, and don't ask where he got that bracelet.

Vex

She is so going to lecture her brother for getting a random stranger involved with this.

"Sorry you got caught up in this, darling."

Doesn't think you should come along. In her mind, you're just another person to feed and house, another expense.

Lies and says something like half-elves are loved by all and considered the best, till the lie falls through and she explains the truth.

Starts to warm up to you when she notices your ability to stretch money.

Doesn't really want you to leave but keeps it to herself and helps by financing some of the supplies.

She gives you a small hug before you walk in the ring.

And watches your look of despair as the spell fails and fails again.

She watches you leave for your room, stuck between following you to comfort you and giving you space, but when she doesn't see you at dinner she makes up her mind.

You hear a knock on the door and open it to reveal Vex with some wine and a lavish charcuterie board.

"Hey darling, you look like you need some pampering."

She ends up pampering you for the rest of the night and you two fall asleep in each others arms.

In the morning you two have a spa day, expenses be damned.

Grog

He is so confused by you being in the same cell as them.

"Uhhh... Do we know you?"

He'd love to have you come along, you seem like a good person and having someone to teach combat to looks fun.

Wants to hear all about your favorite foods from back home.

Not bothered by you not knowing what a goliath is, there isn't really that many of them.

Teaches you how to swing an axe (just maybe exercise a bit more self preservation than him).

Takes you wanting to go home a bit personally at first but then sees how much it matters to you.

Pike he is so exited that you finally get to go home and see your family again!

He doesn't understand what is happening when you don't teleport and when you go off to your room looking sad. When someone finally explains it to him he goes to work trying to make your favorite food.

It doesn't look pretty but when he opens the door with that dorky smile (and a cask of ale) it doesn't matter.

"Hey, uh, I made your favorite food!"

You end up falling asleep on his chest. I mean, who needs a bed when you have a Grog.

The next day is spent cuddling and trying to make your favorite food again.

Keyleth

Even more lost than you when she sees you.

"I- uh- I think there has been a mix up."

Totally wants you to join! You seem super nice and you clearly need help.

Please tell her about all of your favorite plants from back home!

Wants to show you all of the cool plants of Exandria.

When you mention wanting to go home she is down to help!

She tries to provide some input on dimensional travel from a druidic perspective.

She excitedly waves as you step into the circle.

Her heart breaks when she sees the look of disappointment on your face when the spell fails.

And your look of despair when it fails again is even worse.

She gets really worried when you don't arrive to dinner and goes to your room to check on you.

"Hey, uh, a- are you okay? I- I brought some food for you!"

You two end up cuddled together surrounded by druidcrafted flower petals from your favorite flower.

In the morning she makes you a nice cup of tea and takes you on a nature walk.

Percy

Doesn't trust you from the moment you enter the cell.

"My name is Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III and I suggest you tell us who you are quickly."

Doesn't want you too come along. As far as he's concerned you're just dead weight and another person to worry about.

Totally doesn't believe you at all. Like, wdym you live in a world where fast horseless carriages and glowing rectangles that answer your questions in mere second? And you don't have magic?!

He slowly warms up to you as you tell him about the technology from back home.

Still doesn't fully believe you but that doesn't mean that he won't try to recreate the things you talk about.

He really relates to wanting to go back home to family.

As much as he helps with the research, there is a selfish part of him that wants you to stay.

He watches your excitement as you enter the circle.

And he can't help but blame himself for your look of despair as the spell he helped research fails.

He is so caught up in how he could have failed that he doesn't even notice you leave.

He spends the next three days closed up in his workshop, not eating or sleeping and barely drinking, researching how to fix the spell to not avail. It takes Vex (literally) slapping him out of it to shake him back to reality and get him to knock on your door with food for both of you.

"Hey, you probably need food just as much as me right now."

He spends the night cradling you close. He still blames himself but you help ease the ache.

In the morning, Percy's workshop was (thanks to Vex) firmly locked, but Percy never left your side long enough to notice.

Scanlan

Flirts with you on the first introduction.

"What did you do to get stuck in here? Other than being criminally hot."

Wants you to come along, you seem like a good time and it wouldn't be right to just leave you.

Loves the bright colors of your clothes and wants to hear all about your favorite music from back home.

Confidently misuses slang that you've mentioned.

Scanlan gets you wanting to go home, if his home was that cool he'd want to go back too.

He helps Vex barter for magic supplies for Gilmore's spell.

He kisses you hand before you step into the circle.

And watches as you nearly cry as the spell fails and you run off to your room.

He wants to follow you but is afraid of saying something wrong.

Later he comes up to your room with some wine and soup.

He plays a song on his lute as you eat, trying to make the perfect atmosphere.

"I know I don't say this much, but I'm lucky to have you as a friend, we all are."

Is a bit surprised when you ask him to stay (not like he'll show it) but would never say no. As you curl around him he plays with your hair and hums your favorite song.

The next morning is a rest day, Scanlan mandates it. You've dealt with far too much emotional stress to just go on like it's a normal day. And he doesn't let you forget about the found family you have now.

[mmingooo]

Hii, can you do one about you and Minho being in in a private-ish relationship at school? 💕

private life -> lee minho

-> warnings: one curse word i think (f word lol)

-> pairing: lee minho x gn!reader

-> genre: fluff? kinda angsty tbh but with a happy ending!!

-> word count: 1,7k words.

-> notes: this one took me way too long, but i hope you enjoy it anon! this is my last post of the year (it’s still 2022 in my country) so happy new year everyone! <3

find my masterlist on my profile!

please make sure to reblog my content!

when inspiration struck, you worked for hours, sculpting and sketching, and after you were done with your work, this overwhelming feeling of pride would wash all over you and you’d feel invincible.

today was not one of those days.

you had been sitting on your workbench in your classroom for hours trying to come up with something fresh that would give you the grade you wanted for the monthly evaluation, but no matter how much you sought for that inspiration struck, you couldn’t find it. you tried everything, going to the han river park, listening to music, going to museums, but nothing worked, and you were groing frustrated by the hour.

“hey,” you look up to find your boyfriend holding two white bags of what seemed to be food containers. “i brought you lunch”

“lunch?”

“yeah, you know, that thing that people eat afternoon,” your confused look gives it away to minho that you’ve completely lost track of time. “it's already lunchtime, y/n”

“oh, i didn’t notice,” you frown, looking down at your incomplete sketch.

“yeah, i noticed,” he said with an amused smile. “if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t eat,” he placed your food in front of you.

“most likely”

you begin eating and talking about your day, minho mentions a new choreography he has been crafting for his own monthly evaluation and you talk about your struggles of not being able to come up with something new.

you joke around and eventually minho offers himself for you to sketch and you agree on him coming over to your place to get started that very day.

you tell him about your friends drama and he offers his judgment on your friends ex-boyfriend, it turns out you two boost each other when it comes to criticizing people’s foul behaviour.

as you begin remembering and recounting the events that led to minho asking you out on your very first date, you notice the mood change, and the enamoured feeling and pounding heart that usually goes unnoticed and only feel when you part ways with minho to go to your own homes comes to the surface, and you begin feeling nervous under minho’s intense gaze. he places a hand on your forearm and caresses the exposed skin.

out of the corner of your eye, you catch a group of girls that were on your class whispering and looking to where you were sitting with your boyfriend, shamelessly pointing to his caressing you.

you two were in a somewhat private relationship, you didn’t want to make a big fuss about you two dating and you also didn’t want people talking behind your back and making up rumors, so you only told a selected few about your relationship and made sure to never be too physical with each other in public.

and you were sure that that small display of affection was enough to fuel the gossip, so you softly pulled away from minho’s touch and he removed his hand. you deeply hope he doesn’t notice your discomfort and take it the wrong way because you were always craving for minho’s touch, but he did, and he followed your eyes to the group of girls who immediately turned quiet and looked away when the saw minho noticed them.

his smile slightly drops, but carries on and changes the subject, wanting to distract himself from what had just happened. it's not like he wanted his relationship to be everyone's business, but he didn’t want to restrain himself when it came to touching or kissing or just being affectionate with you. it’s not like he was big on affection and physical touch and be on your partners personal space 24/7, but he would rather not touch you because he doesn’t need it or doesn’t feel like it rather than not be able to.

he knew communication was key to any successful relationship, but verbalizing his feelings just wasn’t an easy task for him, so he guessed maybe he could wait it out and eventually you would stop caring about what people thought and you two could act like a normal couple.

but why did he have to wait?, and most importantly, why were you so fixated on not wanting people knowing you were dating?, was he that bad? he thought not, he prided himself on being kind-hearted and loving on his own way. so what is it? what was your problem?, these questions made minho increasingly mad over the week, and he began ignoring your texts more and more, and eventually, he wouldn’t even pick up your calls. you saw him around campus, but he always seemed to be going somewhere and never realized you were around.

it made you anxious, you knew something was wrong, he never behaved like this with you, and even though you attempted time and time again to have a conversation about what was going on, you just couldn’t seem to do it, whether it be other people or projects needing of your attention or minho not being available.

one saturday night though, he replied to one of your messages asking where he was, and he told you he was at the dance studio practicing, you frowned, this late? you knew he was a hard worker and would usually stay up late improving on his skill, but saturdays were the days he stopped and relaxed.

so confused, you put on your jacket and make your way to the campus.

once you arrived, you knocked on the door, but didn’t get an answer, the loud music was probably preventing minho from hearing your knock, so you just let yourself in.

he looks at you through the reflection of the mirror as you wave at him, but he ignores you.

you turn a blind eye to this behavior; if you were to analyze what had just transpired you’re sure you wouldn’t be able to confront minho about what had been happening in the last week.

you sit on one of the nearby chairs and wait for the song to end, expecting minho to come over to you so you can have an adult conversation.

but when the song is over, he goes over to his phone to find another song to play.

“hey,” you greet him, he momentarily stops scrolling and you expect he’ll return the greeting, but he just keeps going not a second later. you tilt your head in frustration.

you make your way next to him, your hands felt numb, though you didn’t know if it was because of the freezing weather or the nervousness you felt from head to toe.

“minho?,” you try to get his attention by placing you hand on his shoulder, hoping he would at least give you the privilege of looking directly into his eyes. but he moves away from your touch, and the loud music coming from the speakers startles you.

“minho c’mon, what is going on?,” you raise your voice and your hands drop to your sides.

he fucking ignores you again, at this point you’re growing impatient, you let out an exacerbated sigh and stop the music. minho stops dancing and places his hands on his hips while looking at the floor.

“are you gonna stop ignoring me now?,” you set the phone down, he looks up and locks eyes with you.

“why would i?”

your face expression screams confusion.

“what? what’s gotten into you?,” you slowly make your way to him, almost as if he was a stray cat who would run away at any sudden movement.

“what's gotten into me?,” he questions irritated, you notice his breathing picking up.

you are at a loss for words, so you just stare at him.

“do you love me?,” he asks after a minute of complete silence.

“of course i do, you know that,” you reply almost instantly, you didn’t need to ponder the question to know your answer.

“then why do i feel like you don’t?”

“why would you ever think that?”

“remind me again why we have to hide our relationship from others?”

“well... you know how people are minho, they gossip and make up rumors...,” your voice has a nervous tone.

“why do you care about what others think?”

“i-,” you don't know, at the beginning of your relationship, you reasoned that it was best to keep it private to see how things would develop, and in the case that you break up, only you and minho would know about it, but know, what was your reason?

“you see, i don’t care, i don’t care if other people talk behind my back, or if they create false rumors or anything like that, because for months the only thing i ever wanted was to be with you,” he begins moving closer to you, “and now that i finally got you, i have to hide? i have to restrain myself?... why?”

your mind remains blank and you can feel your eyes welling up with tears.

“i love you, but if i have to pretend i don’t, then i don’t think i can do this anymore,” he finishes, standing face-to-face with you.

you resort to clinging onto him and he stumbles back a bit at the sudden hug.

“i’m sorry,” you cry, “please don’t leave me”

he returns your hug and softly rocks you side to side in an attempt to comfort you.

after a few minutes, you pull away, your faces inches away from each other.

“i don’t know why i was so set on having us be a secret, i guess i was scared of what other might think,” you wipe your tears, “but i love you too much to let that fear get to me”

he slowly nods, as if he was thinking about his next words.

“let’s just live freely, not caring about what people say and just living in the moment,” he softly smiles.

you energetically nod, “only if it’s with you”

he lets out a breathy laugh and tenderly kisses you.

“now let’s go home, i’m freezing,” he says and you throw your head back in laughter.

there was definitely a lot of work to do, on yourself and your relationship, but getting to do it with minho was what motivated you to move forward and make a real change.

[the-original-skipps]

Happy Halloween 2021 || Mikey x Reader || (Not Bloody) Halloween Headcanons ||

Note: so halloween in japan from my experience is pretty much everyone gets dressed and gathers and kinda walks around mingle shingle lol

You were excited that you get to spend Halloween together with Mikey. Wanting to see him get dressed up. Mikey suggested that he wanted to be his favorite snack, the taiyaki and you agreed.

That was until Emma suggested a better idea for a Halloween costume. For you and Mikey to be little red riding hood and the big bad wolf. Mikey wanting to see you in a cute dress immediately agreed with his sister's idea. Little did he know about what he was getting himself into.

On the faithful day, Emma appears with both your costumes. Only to hand you fake wolf ears and a tail to go along with it. While she shoves a dress and a red cloak towards a confused Mikey.

"Why are you giving the dress to me..?"

"Because it's for you!" Emma enthusiastically speaks while Mikey's face drops.

"Whaー"

"Go get dressed!"

As you wait for Mikey to get dressed, you try on your own costume. You fix the wolf ears to your head and attach the fluffy tail. Wearing the clothes you picked out to go along with it. You looked at yourself in the mirror pleased with the results. Emma ended up taking a few pictures of you because you looked great!

Eventually, Mikey is finished getting dressed and when you saw him, you felt your jaw drop. The dress was a perfect fit for him- the red cloak and white knee socks completing the outfit. (This is legit Mikey's official costume, if you want to see watch chibi rebe haha)

"I'm not wearing this!"

"What, but Mikey you look so beautiful!" You exclaim. As you try to snap pictures of him. Mikey groans when you plead for him to wear it unable to resist your puppy eyes he gives in. Emma is having a field day laughing at her brother.

"Emma, if you show this to Kenchin I swearー!"

Now you were both ready to head out. Mikey had to admit despite his embarrassing costume he thought you both matched well. Taking every chance he gets to touch your fluffy ears and tail.

At first, Mikey trails behind you as he feels people staring. Pulling his hood further to hide his face. However, when he spots a taiyaki stand he literally sprints to it. Luckily he's carrying a basket to fill it in with taiyaki.

As you continue walking, you both get stopped. Various people approaching you both to take pictures together. Mikey without his taiyaki would of straight up refused but he agrees to a few.

Then you realized that some girls get a little close to your boyfriend causing you to pull him closer to you while silently sending glares their way. You knew your boyfriend looked adorable but you weren't sharing.

Mikey also gets pouty when several guys asks you for a picture then tries to ask for your number. He quickly stomps over and stands in front of you, taking your hand in his and walking off. You had to admit the pouty Mikey in a dress is quite a sight to remember.

Mikey makes sure that you're both holding hands the whole time since there were a lot of people and you might get lost. He also makes sure to keep an eye out for creeps who think they can touch you.

A man reaches his hand out as your back is turned but before he could touch you another hand tightly grasps his arm. Mikey's grip on the man is hard as he is visibly wincing in pain.

"Try touching and I'll make sure to break both of your arms."

Despite his cute attire his face is deadly serious as he glares at the assailant.

Tired of all the walking, you both head back to Mikey's place to watch some horror movies. Declining his suggestion at going ghost hunting.

The basket he brought along filled with various candies and taiyaki. He sits close to you, wrapping a blanket around you both.

He feeds you candy throughout the movie. Also asking you multiple times to wear the little red riding hood costume since he still wants to see you in it. You agree if he puts on the fake wolf ears and tail.

Eventually, Mikey ends up passing out from eating too much candy but you don't mind as you fall asleep beside him. It was an eventful yet fun day spent with the person you love.

Bonus

"Oi, Mikey check out this picture Emma sent me!"

"EMMA!"

[darling-i-read-it]

May Queen

Pelle x reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: being indoctored into a cult, murder, suicide, basically the plot of midsommar

Author’s Note: This can be seen as a sequel to ‘Hug’ or it can be read on it’s own!

yeah i was a little excited that you guys wanted this one lol I don’t know if you can tell. I’ve seen this movie enough, it was about time I did something within the events of the film. I also referred to the script so some of the lines will be familiar! I hope you all enjoy!

Requested: by anon, omg your pelle fic wow; would you consider doing a sequel to it that either takes place during the events of the film or just before they arrive at Pelle's commune?

Requested: by anon, I would LOVEEE to see a sequel with pelle cause that was a pretty good fix and I think he deserves a bit more attention, I personally would like to see something happen during the events of the movie just because I think it would be interesting to see but that's just me

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“You think that Pelle asked you to go just because I’m going?” Dani asked, messing with her fingers. You were standing beside your bed, packing your suitcase slowly. Dani had already packed; she didn’t like to be unprepared.

“I don’t know...maybe he thought you would enjoy yourself more.”

“You’re acting like I’m the one who’s been dating him for these couple of months,” she told you. She was sitting on the bed, looking up at you. You nodded a bit, putting another pile of clothes inside.

“I know. I guess I’m just nervous. Meeting his whole group, going to where he grew up. I mean. I really like him. What if I fuck it up?” She shook her head and reached over to grab your arm. You looked her in the eyes.

“He really likes you. I can’t remember the last time Christian looked at me the way that Pelle looks at you.” Her eyes were honest. It made you feel bad. You should have gotten her to break up with Christian when you got the chance. But it was too late now; you were all going to Sweden.

“I suppose you’re right. Per usual.” She smiled weakly.

“Finish packing.”

=======

Pelle almost wanted to tell you about the whole thing. When he was on the plane, it crossed his mind to let you in on the whole scheme of things. The May Queen, the festival, all of it.

But he bit his tongue. That was tradition.

You arrived in Sweden well and took the trek up to where the first stop was. It was beautiful. Truly, it was stunning.

Pelle held your hand the whole way until you arrived at the first spot. There were people around the grassy hills, scattered around. Pelle got out of the car.

“These are other people from America that my friends have brought!” he exclaimed. He gestured to the many people around. You looked around, gazing at the nice afternoon. He grabbed your arm and started to drag you along.

“Hey, don’t rip it off!” you joked and he eased up.

“Sorry, I’m quite excited!” You smiled sweetly at his happiness.

“Me too!” He approached some people and started to introduce them when a man behind you started to yell. You turned around quickly, surprised at the loud noise. Pelle turned around too and his smile only grew.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said and then ran over to the approaching man. They embraced each other, hugging tightly.

“Everyone, this is my brother Ingemar. Ingemar this is Christian, Dani, Mark, Josh and my girlfriend, Y/N,” Pelle said. Ingemar followed where Pelle pointed, shaking hands with everyone. He paid special attention to you, his smile getting wider. You could tell that he and Pelle were related.

“Nice to meet you all. This is Simon and Connie from London,” he said, gesturing to the others behind him. “Simon and Connie this is Pelle and...all the names I just remembered two seconds ago,” Ingemar said laughing. Simon and Connie said hello. “Perfect timing by the way.”

Ingemar pulled out a bag of mushrooms from his pocket. Your eyes went wide.

“We just took these five minutes ago. Haven’t even started feeling the effects yet,” he explained.

“Oh shit!” Mark said, happily.

“Do you all want to take it now or should we get settled in?” Pelle asked.

“Fuck it, let’s take it now!” Mark said. You weren’t too sure about that. You trusted Pelle and everyone of course but in the new environment...it rubbed you the wrong way. Thankfully, Dani turned to speak to Christian about it.

“I think I want to get settled in first.” Christian was about to speak but you cut him off.

“Me too. You guys go and have fun, we’ll keep each other company,” you said. Pelle turned to you.

“Are you sure? I assure you it’s safe,” he said in a soft voice. You smiled kindly and put a gentle hand on his arm.

“I know! I just wanna get settled. Dani and I can handle ourselves, I promise.” He gave you a longer look, just to check that you were alright and then nodded. You turned back to Dani who grabbed your arm desperately.

“Thank you,” she whispered. You nodded.

“No thank you.”

=====

It wasn’t until the next day, Dani’s birthday, that you were able to get on further. You and Dani played some card games that you had brought with you while you waited for the effects to wear off for everyone else.

Christian came over to sleep beside Dani, still high. Pelle came over to you and braided your hair and then unbraided your hair, making very long sentences that didn’t make sense to whisper in your ear.

But when you arrived at the commune it was bright and sunny. Pelle rushed around, hugging people and introducing you and the group to everyone. You were able to get some blankets to sit on the grass, while everyone got their things together.

There was a group of girls dancing around in circles, wearing all white.

“You should go join,” Pelle suggested, gesturing to you and Dani. She shook her head a bit.

“Oh no, I’m too scared,” Dani said sheepishly. You nodded in agreement.

“Maybe another time.” Christian stood up.

“Hey can I join…” he started turning to Pelle.

“You’re American. Just jam yourself in,” he said. Christian nodded and walked away. “I think I’ll join him,” Simon said and was quickly followed by the rest of the group except you, Pelle and Dani. There was a moment of silence as you watched them go.

“Hey, just real quick,” Pelle said, digging for something in his pocket. He took out two pieces of paper and handed them to you and Dani. You both opened them to reveal gorgeously drawn pictures of yourselves wearing flower crowns. “For you Dani, think of it as a birthday present. For you Y/N, I imagine it’s a thank you present.”

“Oh Pelle,” Dani said. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

“Thank you for what?” you asked, brushing your finger over it. He smiled and shrugged.

“Just a thank you.”

“Well thank you for it,” you said. “I got Dani a new sweater. Christian forgot.” Pelle raised his eyebrow and you shared a look.

“I forgot to tell him...it’s my fault,” Dani explained. You shook your head.

“I tend to disagree,” you muttered. You folded the picture back up and put it in your pocket. You put your head on Pelle’s shoulders “But I think Christian is rude.”

“Perhaps you are too judgemental,” Pelle mused. “But I tend to agree with you regardless.” You and Dani laughed a bit. “We should probably go and catch up with them in case they get lost.”

=====

You got settled in in one of the large buildings, plenty of beds against the walls. Pelle was on the bed to your right while Dani slept on the one to your left.

“All right, beauty rest! Tomorrow’s a big day!” Pelle announced. You had one of the books you had brought open on your lap but you looked up at him.

“What’s tomorrow?” you asked.

“First of the big cerinomines,” he said mysteriously.

“So you’re just going to be weird and cryptic?” Josh asked, laughing a bit. Pelle pauses and then took Josh's notebook, writing something inside. You made an attempt to look but it was not a word that you recognized.

“What’s that?” Christian questioned. Pelle shrugged and laid down in his bed. You faced him, on the bed beside him.

“What is it?” you whispered to him. He gave you a teasing smile.

“It’s hard to explain.”

“I will come over there and tickle it out of you,” you threatened. He chuckled and turned around so he wasn’t facing you. But he put his arm back behind him, reaching across the space between your two beds.

You grabbed it and rubbed his knuckles anxiously.

=====

There was a very odd breakfast the next day but you tried not to judge. You wanted to really appreciate Pelle’s culture and understand it. He had admired you for your understanding and he knew you would make an effort.

That’s why he chose to love you.

You were the obvious choice.

After that you walked out to a cliffside where most of the people were already out and lined up. You were curious to find complete silence. Everyone was silent as it happened and you were able to do nothing but watch as these two elderly people stood up on top of the cliff.

When the first person, a woman, jumped, you grabbed Pelle, putting your hand in front of your mouth. He grabbed you and wrapped his arms around you but it didn’t change the look of serenity on his face.

Simon was standing next to Ingemar yelling as the man approached the cliffside.

You had your face in Pelle’s arms. You were shaking.

“It is the way of life,” he whispered to you. Simon was still screaming. Another elder was talking to him and you could feel Pelle want to move toward them but he stayed beside you. “It is our way of recycling them and their gifts.”

You pulled away from him and shook your head a bit. You met Dani’s eyes. She wasn’t showing much emotion other than shock. You didn’t blame her.

“They’re dead,” you whispered. He nodded and put his hands on your upper arms.

“And it is an honor to have died that way.” You weren’t sure how to feel. You wanted to be understanding, to try and understand him and his ways. You would want that from him. But he should have prepared you more for that.

You walked over to Dani and walked beside her on the way back to the houses.

=====

“I’m leaving,” Dani said.

“I don’t blame you.” She was already packing a bag. You sat down on your bed, head in your hands. You took a deep breath and leaned back on the bed.

“Are you coming with me?” she asked. Her voice was shaking. She was clearly shaken up by all of this.

“No,” you muttered. “I’m not leaving Pelle yet.”

“Not even after that?” Her voice was quiet but it was urgent. You shook your head a bit.

“I just have to talk to him. He should have warned us more, of course but....it’s what he’s been raised to believe is normal. I don’t think I should think of it as a bad thing.”

“We just watched people die!” You stood up off the bed and put your hands on your upper arms, steading her.

“You can go home and I will not blame you. In the slightest. I just think I should stay longer,” you told her. She nodded solemnly. She took a deep breath in through her nostrils and nodded again.

=====

Before bed that night Pelle approached you. You were standing outside of the bed house, leaning against it to try and clear your thoughts. You almost completely ignored him but in the end you locked eyes with him as he approached.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you adequate warning,” he said sympathetically. He grabbed your hand and held it. “I thought you would understand but I know now that it was wrong of me to assume.” You shook your head quickly.

“I understand it was just...a shock,” you muttered. He nodded and kissed your forehead softly.

“You are completely safe here. I want you to know that.” He looked you in the eyes when he said it. You believed him. You nodded back and gestured to the house.

“Let’s get some shut eye huh? And maybe warn me if we see another person...you know.” You made a slicing gesture across your neck. He laughed gently and nodded, placing a hand on the small of your back and leading you inside.

=====

Dani walked up to you, still distraught but less so. You were standing beside Pelle the next day as he kneeled in front of the ground picking some vegetables. You turned to her as she walked up, ready to handle whatever she was about to throw at you.

“Hey,” you said, taking the step away from Pelle and toward her.

“Hi. Did you see Simon left without Connie?” she asked. You raised an eyebrow and shook your head.

“Seriously? What a dick.” She clearly felt a little bit off put by it so you lowered your voice. “You think it’s weird?” Dani nodded a bit.

“I don’t know...it’s a little weird. They seemed so close.” You nodded. They did seem close.

“I don’t know...something to keep in mind I suppose.” She nodded quickly in agreement.

======

Dinner that night was simple pastries. You were pleased. The last food they had given you wasn’t your kind of taste. You sat between Pelle and Dani again.

“Have you seen Connie?” Dani asked you quietly. You shook your head.

“Excuse me but I know what happened,” a man sitting beside Mark said. “Her boyfriend called the landline from the train station. She begged us to drive her so we took her down to the station.” You nodded slowly, glancing at Pelle. He shrugged, seemingly in agreement.

“Why would Simon leave without her?” you asked quietly.

“I can see you doing that,” Dani muttered at Christian. You wanted to laugh so you turned to Pelle, sneaking a smile. He shrugged with a smile on his face also.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Christian asked.

“Nevermind.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Pelle said quietly, so only you could hear. You ate a bite of the pastry proudly.

“You’re damn right.”

======

One of the important books was stolen that night. They announced it at breakfast.

“Where is your friend Josh?” one of the elders asked, after breakfast. You, Christian, Dani and Pelle all stood in front of the two elders, caught like a deer in headlights.

“I know. We have no idea,” Christian said.

“He and your other friend disappear in the same day. You understand how that looks.”

“Yes obviously, but we swear to you we are not a part of this,” Christian said. Dani shuffled a bit.

“We did see Mark go off with one of the girls last night,” she said.

“Which girl?”

“Inga,” Pelle said.

“But Mark wouldn’t have done this. Josh, though, he came to bed with us, and when we woke up, he was gone. And if he did take that book, I just pray you understand we do not identify as friends of his, or collaborators, or anything. I certainly don't vouch for him and we'd be so embarrassed to be connected to this in any way,” Christian explained.

“I feel responsible,” Pelle said. The elders nodded a bit.

“Well you and Odd can go looking. Perhaps you can redeem them,” one of the elders said. You didn’t want Pelle to leave. You didn’t like it when you were separated here. You believed him when he said you were safe but...it was still a little odd. “You two will be going with the women for the day’s activity,” he said to you and Dani. “And Siv asks to see you in her house,” she said to Christian.

You glanced at Pelle as he left. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, almost saying ‘do well!’.

=====

You and Dani got dressed in white shirts with flower crowns. It made you a tad bit nervous but at least you had her.

She gestured to the drink they were handing out. Cups had been given to both of you to drink it.

“Can I ask what’s in this?” Dani asked one of the girls.

“It’s...tea for the dancing competition.” You raised an eyebrow but took a glass anyway. Dani looked back at you and you shrugged.

“I’ll beat you,” you muttered.

“Try me.”

You both took drinks of the tea.

Your head became fuzzy the second it hit your throat. You hadn’t taken those drugs before hand and you almost didn’t want to do it now but it was already done. Your feet were moving along with the girls, tossing bodies left and right it felt like.

You lost sight of Dani very quickly.

You were running and jumping and laughing until the elder lady yelled to stop then you kept dancing.

Dancing, dancing, dancing, dancing.

Dancing.

It seemed to go on forever. Your mind was hazed, your head hurt, your glances were so quick they gave you whiplash. You were smiling brightly when they announced they were down to the final eight. You finally saw Dani again, in the eight with you.

All of the fallen dancers had sat off on the side. You saw Christian, looking hilariously out of place. And Pelle.

Your heart swelled with love for Pelle. You could barely know anything else for a moment as you stared at him.

You couldn’t see it but in that moment, Dani believed she learned how much she hated Christian.

Then more dancing.

People were speaking and then it was just you and Dani, holding hands, dancing around in a circle, tired and out of breath. She stared at you and a smile went over her face as she held your hand.

And then she tripped. You stopped dancing and someone ran up to you, putting their hands on your shoulder.

“It’s over?” you asked.

“You are our May Queen!” they yelled. You were still hazzed. Each face looked the same. The people running up to you were strangers but you felt nothing but warmth for them. They placed a different flower crown atop your head.

Pelle ran up to you smiling brightly.

“Wow! May Queen, my love!” he said, giving you a strong kiss, both his hands resting on your cheeks. You were smiling brightly and then he was gone. You didn’t want him to go.

They carried you on a platform to a dinner table where you sat at the head, Dani beside you and Pelle on the other side as usual.

One of the elders stood at the end of the dinner.

“Now it is traditional for the May Queen to bless our crops and livestock. And after the luck you just inherited from that salt herring, we should all be doubly encouraged.” You looked around nervously.

“Can Pelle come with me?”

“No. The Queen must ride alone.”

You were starting to come to your own and realize how crazy this all was. How did you get here? How would you get out of here? You found yourself hoping you didn’t get out of here though. This felt like home. Some form of home. As you walked to the carriage you saw a glimpse of the pride on Pelle’s face.

It made you immensely happy.

======

They made you do a ritual in Swedish and you did your best with the limited knowledge of the language you knew. You went to Siv’s house, where she blessed you. You wondered where Dani was. You hoped she was alright. You should have let her become the May Queen. You should have let her win, just so you knew she was alright.

The women left you alone for only a moment where they ushered Pelle into the house with all of the beds where you were. He was still smiling that bright smile as he rushed up to you, hugging you tightly to him.

“You have no idea the amount of honor and pride you have brought to me. I am so very proud of you,” he said, cupping your cheeks. You tried not to get too flustered with your smile in return.

“So I get my picture up on that wall?” you questioned. He nodded pleasantly.

“Yes you will!” He kissed you passionately and you let him, allowing him to dip you a bit. “And you will be allowed to stay here, with the family.”

You didn’t even react. You didn’t feel the need to.

“With you?”

“Yes of course. You will be mine and I will be yours.”

You nodded happily.

“Where is Dani?” you asked.

“She is alright, she’s with the other women preparing. She is also going to stay.” You wanted to laugh of joy with that. “It is time for the final of the ceremonies,” he told you. “You will finally be able to give Christian what you think he deserves, if you wish it.”

He placed an even larger flower crown atop your head.

“And a dress as well, to fit a Queen.”

He gestured to the large flower dress in the room you hadn’t even noticed. He kissed you once more.

“It is time for the final ceremony. I’ll help you put on the dress. Are you ready?” he asked. He looked at you patiently. You nodded.

“Yes, I am.”

[hwrryscherry]

The one where Harry and Model Y/N go undercover in the internet

characters: HARRYxMODELY/N

blurb: Harry and Model Y/N go undercover on the internet with fake accounts on TikTok and Instagram for an interview for GQ magazine on a video pre Grammys.

word count: 3.3K

HARRYxMODELY/N masterlist

author's note: HI GUYS! This is a request that I received a while ago but only finished it now because of school and all that stuff that I've told y'all a million times. Anyway, I tried my best on this request cause I think I lost my way of writing a little lol but anyway, I hope you like it and I hope that for the ones who misses Harry and Model Y/N this can be a great gift. Love y'all and thank you for the constant support and love on them💜 Stay Safe and Always remember to tpwk and that you're so golden💜💜💜

It was about 3 pm when you and Harry naturally came into the studio set on the building of GQ magazine with tender smiles on your faces covered by masks as you greeted everybody in the room in which there wasn’t many people in it. Harry was dressed in one of the many Gucci shirts he owned, with freshly washed hair that made you smell his pleasant scent from inches away just because he was wearing your favoured one and you'd always recognize it. You also detected the many rings on his fingers, including the one that you had bought for him as a 27th birthday present and by god, he was so thrilled about the ring and had a big smile on his face all day so he felt like he wanted to use it every day. Oh and how good his birthday was. You weren't able to have a party, obviously, but you still managed to celebrate somehow. In the morning, you gave him his favorite breakfast and then he, Gemma and Anne stayed on a zoom call for about an hour. You bought some yellow balloons to put in the living room just to give that birthday vibe and during the night, you had no more than four friends in your LA house, all properly protected and saved. You just ordered a few pizzas and watched some of Harry's favorite movies. It was simple but with an incredible energy, receiving a tiny group around while doing something y'all liked was everything Harry wanted most, mainly because he would have to wake up early the next day to go to the set of "Don't Worry Darling." as they were about to finish filming.

But today was another day. In earlier Febraury, the GQ magazine team reached out to your businessmen with the proposal that you and Harry would record a video together answering questions about your relationship to be published before the Grammys and after you consider whether it would be the best thing to do or not because of the many reactions you could get from it, you both agreed to do it. You’d always try to consider every little possibility when it comes to your and Harry’s relationship as the media can be very mean and disrepecftul.

Instead of Harry, you had a black miniskirt, long sleeve white blouse and a small black blazer with your Fendi plaid boots, which was Harry's personal choice for today as you’ve told him that he could chose an outfit for you to wear. You two spent a few minutes in the makeup chair doing touch-ups on your hair and makeup right before you were both ready to shoot. You walked from the makeup table to the center of the studio where you could see the crew behind the cameras and the big white background with a table and two black chairs right in the center. The table had a computer upon it only. After sitting down and having the microphones popped at you, you looked up when you heard the directors asking if you were ready and when you nod and the count is over, the camera started recording.

   ‘‘Hi, I'm Harry Styles!'’ You greeted the camera with a big smile on your face, eliciting a laugh from Harry about your unexpected "joke.". Honestly, today was a good day for both of you where you were both in an extremely good mood. Unlike the other days where you were quarantined, you were emotionally untired and in the mood to film and have a small social interaction, which is rare.

   ‘’And I'm Y/N Y/L/N!'’ Harry said joining in the joke with you and then looking at you as he waited for you to say the rest of the introductory phrase but only realizing you were smiling at the camera without saying anything.   '’Y/N!'’  Harry called calmly causing you to turn your head to face him and realize he wanted you to continue instead of continuing himself.

   '’Oh sorry, I thought you were going to continue'’    You whispered conspiratorially to him before taking a deep breath and resting your hands on the table when you returned your gaze to the camera.   ‘’And we’re gonna go undercover on the internet today!!’’

   ‘’Yeah, I'm scared!'’  Harry said when opening the laptop that was over the table and turning it on. You sat back in your chair so that you could see the laptop screen clearly and smirked a little when you heard your boyfriend's words.

   ‘’Hm... Let's do TikTok!'’   Harry said after a few seconds in silence while thinking. Harry's words made you chuckle his words because you knew that Harry doesn't comprehend anything about TikTok and didn't have an account but you both would usually find yourselves in bed watching tiktoks for hours. '’Which username should we put in?'’, Harry asked without taking his eyes off the screen.

   ‘’You should be! I’ll expose all of your deepest secrets in this video'’   You said while raising your eyebrows in a playful way eliciting a laugh from Harry, one by the way, that he tried hard to sound a little desperate for people watching  '’Alright, what should we do first?’’

   ‘’Put ‘’simp4harry’’ !"  You said with a smirk on your lips as Harry let out a nasal laugh but put that username either way.

   ‘’Okay, but how did you think of that username so fast? I think it’s very creative'’  Harry asked as he finished creating the account.

   ‘’It's the username I put on everything!'’  You answered as you ran your right hand through your hair.

   ‘’Oh yes? So is this your Only Fans username?'’  Harry mockingly asked making you laugh and take your eyes off the screen and look at his face.

   ‘’No, I don't even have an account on Only Fans, for God's sake Styles'’. You answered as mockingly as he did, '’Why? You have one?'’  You asked calmly.

   ‘’No, I'm a one-woman man!'’ Harry said to cause you to smile convincingly.

   '’Can someone get me a bottle of water, please?'’ You asked gently for the people who were on the set and smiled thanking the person who brought you.

   ‘’Thank you!'’   You answered sounding a little bit shy, even though you’re a public person and listen to compliments quite often, you still don’t know how to react to them. You took a deep breath and raised your eyebrows before using your finger to point to the laptop screen as he opened your tiktok account,  ‘’I mean, I don’t even know why I’d be one of the best ones to follow since all I post on tiktok is unnecessary and stupid things that goes through my mind during the day.’’

   ‘’So inconvenient!'’  Harry whispered playfully. You two had this habit of being sassy to each other, and everyone around you was used to it. This craze started because the first time you guys hang out together in Shanghai, you just talked like you’ve known each other for years and not just five hours.

   '’I didn't drink water today, do you want me to be thirsty? I thought you loved me!'’   You used a dramatic tone when speaking before drinking a sip of water.

   ‘’I did!'’   Harry replied in a low tone finishing logging in the TikTok feed.

   ‘’What do you mean ''you did''?'’   You answered in a loud tone holding the laugh with Harry.

   ‘’Okay, focus on TikTok! Focus on TikTok!'’  Harry said with a laugh as you now brought his attention to the screen as well,  ‘’Hm, let's look at my girl's account!'’, Harry said as he typed your tiktok username in the search bar. You took a sip of the water in the bottle and put it on the table,  ‘’AND by the way, do you guys know that this woman over here was listed by The Cut as one of the best tiktokers to follow today? And I’m so proud’’

   ‘’Well, I love how you appreciate your talents, love!'’  Harry replied sarcastically with a smirk on his lips making you chuckle. He didn't like it very much when you belittled something you did, even if it was something that was really bad, he didn't like it. Not just with you though, but with all the people in the world. Harry doesn't like it when people don't recognize their worth.

   ‘’Ok, here’s the first one! I’ll be reacting to it!'’   Harry spoke in a playful tone while clicking on the video as he knew very well it was not a react video but to answer questions. Harry clicked on the first video, this time you were propped up with your face close to the camera with folded arms dubbed to the sound that was in the background. You then take the transparent glasses pulled over the beige in a matter of color that was in front of you on the table and put them under your eyes never failing to dub the song. Then you move away from the camera and can see you are wearing leggings and a sweatshirt. And then you take your Louis Vuitton Coussin PM silver bag and place it on your shoulder before the video ends   ‘’Alright, so on this video you don’t do anything else than mimicking to the song.’’

   ‘’No, but like, seriously!'’   You complemented. '’We’ll watch some of them, and you’ll see how silly they are!

   ‘’I know that’s why I said that it stupid!'’   You exclaimed as you crossed your arms on the table. ‘’Let’s see the comments'’   You, yourself clicked on the comments area with your hand before Harry did and observed as comments poped up.

   ‘’Ok so the user @username1 asked ‘’How does it feel being the coolest person ever’’, tell me Y/N, how does it feel like?'’  Harry asked with a smirk to you as he turned his head to encounter your face with raised eyebrows.

   ‘’Oh, it feels so nice!'’ You responded in a playful tone causing both of you to laugh at your conviction, even though you knew it was a teasing tone and not narcissistic  ‘’Everybody knows I’m like, the coolest person alive so...'’  You convincingly said running your hand through a few strands of your hair and then take a deep breath and put a lock of hair behind your ear.   ‘’No, I’m just kidding. I’m not cool everyday, honestly there are days that I’m the most annoying person ever so I definetely have my good and bad days.’’

   ‘’Oh and those annoying moments'’   Harry said in an ironic tone, letting out a dramatic sigh causing you to frown and slightly open your mouth as an offense while holding your laughter as you exclaimed a loud '' excuse me?’‘ as an answer. Harry returned his attention to the comments on the screen again and frowned and brought his face slightly closer to the screen to read   ‘’Okay so @username2 asked ‘’new trend: are you engaged?’’. No guys are not. We’ve never been engaged.’’

   ‘’I feel like we’ve been engaged since 2017!'’   You said sarcastically remembering all the rumors about engagement, babies and dating. Since the first time you has met there were rumors, thousands of them, all the time but you and Harry chose not to comment on them as it would just be a big waste of time.

   ‘’Exactly and we weren’t even dating in 2017!'’  Harry complemented by looking away from the camera at his nodded face. '’But anyway...’’   Harry said taking a deep breath  '’I love how random your tiktok actually is!’’

"I know! I am planning a whole video to film on Grammys day because I'm in love with my outfit and i’m so excited for it!" You said changing the subject but being excited about the idea. After the announcement of nominations and with all the excitement you felt for Harry, you agreed you would attend the Grammys together; it was something important because not only was he running for three awards but also because you never attended any events side by side, except at the 2019 Met Gala. Then the pressures would increase but Harry knew it would be so much easier if he had you there with him. Because whether or not he took the awards home, he knew you were there and he would be grateful for at least being nominated for sure.

"Wait, which outfit did you pick? " Harry asked as he left the tiktok site on the laptop and entered Instagram. Harry selected searched for the hashtag of both of your names as a ship name on the explorer, so it would be easier to find what both of you wanted. "You showed me three different outfits but didn’t told me which one you chose!"

"Oh, I choose the black Prada one!"  You answered calmly. Harry stopped using the laptop and turned his head quickly to face his face causing you to look surprised and confused at him due to your reaction. It was his favorite outfit from the three that you had shown to him. "What?I wanna look great before you win your first award and I start ugly crying."

"Oh my god, you’re probably more excited than me." Harry said turning his attention back to the laptop screen.

"Of course I am, I cannot wait to walk around telling people that my boyfriend is not only a three times grammy nominated but a grammy winner!" You answered as you grabbed the water bottle that you had previously asked and drinking a sip.

"Anyway, let’s see!" Harry said as he started searching through the hashtag posts, also drawing his attention to the same screen. You then see a post that catches your eye and points it so that Harry can click. The post was a picture of Harry on the Met Gala carpet with ‘’Harry pierced his own ear for the Met Gala with a needle’’ written on it. "Ok, that’s true! But, now ask me why I had to pierce my own ear?!"  He asked ironically, as if he were playing a trick on you, because he knew very well you had a mini argument that day since you refused to pierce his ear with the fricking needle.

"I told you I wouldn’t do it! Do you even have any idea of how dangerous that was?"  You replied right after rolling your eyes, but your tone of voice remained calm and you didn't get heated when you spoke. "You know you need to sterilize, right? And what if you had caught an infection? Do you really think I was going to do that? You're an adult. I can't stop you, but I wasn't going to pierce your ear."

"Hey, hey, hey!" He said causing you to stop talking and look at him. Harry raised his eyebrows and looked at you with a smirk before speaking. "The thing is: I really wanted to pierce my ear, and we wear finishing getting ready in New York. I asked Y/N if she had a needle. Neither her and Alessandro wanted to do it. Literally no one wanted to do it but I was very much decided so I did it myself and my ear is completely fine by the way" Harry said the last part making you roll your eyes again while looking at the camera and take a deep breath.

"Anyway..." You said as you dived back into the posts. In one of them you read someone saying in a comment that you and Harry would probably never fight. "Here, this one says ‘’I feel like they’re the type of couple that never fights and when they do, the fight lasts for 30 seconds’’".

"Absolutely untrue!" Harry said almost that immidiately while you nodded agreeing with him.

"Guys, every couple in the world argues. It’s natural, it’s not because we don’t have big arguments and talk shit about each other on the internet that we don’t have conflicts or understatement" You explained. You and Harry are really compatible, but you still have your moments and it’s important to recognize it. No relationship is perfect and disagreeing on things is absolutely understandable.

"Yeah, specially ‘cause we’re different people that come from different places and had different experiences. As long as the disagreements are not causing you serious mental and emotional harm is normal" Harry complemented your thought. It’s important to notice when a relationship is not making you feel good anymore. If your unhappy for any reason is important to leave and to search for help if needed. "See, if you could change anything in our relationship, what would it be?" Harry asked making you pay attention to his words and face as you thought attentively in silence for a few seconds.

"I think I would probably change the fact that we’re usually really far away from each other!" You said calmly while looking at him. "Like, you’re always travelling and so I am, so I feel like it can get hard sometimes because of that and I’d definitely would change that if I could do it without like, changing our whole careers and lives."

"Yeah, I’d probably change that as well!" Harry agreed nodding to you as he was thinking as well. "I’m very grateful for quarantine on that point because we could spend more time together without being so long apart from each other. Of course I wish it was on different situations but I’m grateful for that" Harry said and you could understand that completely. You and Harry had been dating since 2018 and had spend months apart from each other and only you both truly knew how hard it could get sometimes, specially when you had the whole world to judge both of you.

"I fully understand it! Sometimes I think about everyone who spent this past year alone, and I’m really grateful for having you with me...LIke, you’re my best friend, you know this" You said looking at Harry’s face. He had a growing tender smile on his face that was starting to make you nervous and emotional on the same time as you remembered the past year. You felt your eyes getting wet and let out a chuckle looking away from his gaze. "I’m getting emotional! It’s all about my cancer rising today!"

"Oh sure, it’s always zodiac’s fault!" Harry said laughing and then looking at the screen and the crew on the backstage while gesturing with his hands. "That’s probably one thing about Y/N that you guys don’t know. She fully believes on zodiac signs and those stuffs. Actually, there was one time when she told me that we couldn’t be together because our signs were incompatible."

"Okay but like, Harry is an Aquarius and I’m a Taurus. We are incompatible when it comes to zodiac signs!" You said between giggles as you tried justifying your point even though Harry knew you were joking when you said that to him. He didn’t know at the time though he was very much surprised and scared when you said it.

"But anyway, I’m glad that we spend this time together. It’s been weird and funny at the same time like the spaghetti day!" Harry said holding his giggles as he watched your eyes widen because you knew exactly what he was talking about.

"NO, we're not talking about this!" You talked fastly while laughing at the same time as Harry as you both remembered that one night in quarantine when a spaghetti night went completely wrong and he came on the kitchen to see you and a kitchen with spaghetti and tomato sauce all over the floor and the walls and how you cried to convince him to clean the whole kitchen alone and failed. "Ok, let's finish the video here before things are leaked!" You said giggling.

"Alright, this was very nice. Thank you GQ for having us and I hope we weren't the worst guests you've ever had!" Harry said joking even though you both knew that it was quite hard to be very open in the media specially about your relationship but you tried your hardest.

"Don't forget to watch Harry peform on Grammys on sunday!" You said.

[valhallasubstitute]

Pleasure

Edward x F Reader

The reader teaches Edward a thing or two about pleasure

REQUEST: Can i request a *smut* with Edward from TLK?

Maybe a dane reader that absolute rock his shit like nobody before 😂 she can be Finan Or Sihtric sister maybe?! Thank you!

A/N: Evidently, I don’t think much of the English as lovers lol, I blame my first bf – Tom if you find this, thank you for the inspo. Also, if anyone’s interested in a dom reader then please let me know, I think there’s a real lack and that makes the switch in me v sad

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+. Unprotected sex – it’s the ninth century they have an excuse, you don’t. M!Sub/F!dom undertones, brief female masturbation, male receiving oral

WC: 1654

Tags: @flowers-in-your-hayr @geekandbooknerd @mariaenchanted @solinarimoon

You could honestly say you never expected things to turn out this way.

How many Danes could say they had discussed the boy King’s sex life with him? If you counted yourself then it would be three. Sihtric, your brother, and Uhtred sitting either side of you.  Add in the Irishman that started it all, the baby monk and a vaguely uncomfortable looking Lady of Mercia and the number of people looking unimpressed rises to six.

You sat around the fire; ale pouch being passed between you after another successful battle, but your good spirits were beginning to dwindle as you listen to Edward describe his other conquests.

There were more than you had expected, but you supposed his title and pretty face made it hard for young maidens to deny him. You hadn’t denied yourself the pleasure of admiring him either, long blond curls that grazed his broad shoulders, and light blue eyes, usually set in a frown. You found yourself believing his words before battle, letting his passion seep through you as you lost yourself in the sight of him, arm outstretched with a sword in hand, strong thighs gripping the saddle and a ferocity that one might overlook upon first meeting Edward.

It had the foundations of a fantasy that would have kept you warm.

The conversation moved slowly, Edward relaxing and his words becoming freer. You forced yourself back to the present, preparing yourself to hear another depressing confession.

‘The last was a girl from the camp just outside of Lundon. She was wild.’

‘Wild? Now this I can get behind.’ Finan leaned forward, a new sense of interest washing over him as Edward nodded. You had already heard of the ‘daring’ places Edward had fucked, the palace guest room, the stable, and who could forget his royal tent! Wild, you decided, was something Edward had never come across.

‘She took me out to the woods and laid herself bare before me.’ You watched the interest of the group peak, even your brother raised a brow. ‘She started touching herself.’ He motioned to his chest. ‘I’ve never seen a woman so bold. How is a man meant to control himself?’ Uhtred nodded lightly, taking the ale from a grinning Finan. ‘I laid her on the ground and had my way with her.’

Finan’s face fell. ‘That’s what you call wild? Christ have mercy.’

That was when it hit you. It wasn’t that the King was a bad lover necessarily, it was that none of what he had experience had anything to do with pleasure. Not real pleasure.

‘With respect my Lord, none of your exploits deserve the praise in which you speak of them.’

Aethelflaed’s eyes snapped to you as your words settled over the group. You watched as Edward straightened himself, his hands dusting his thighs before he looked at you. The ease was gone from his denier and for the first time that night you felt like you were speaking to the King of Wessex.

‘How so?’ His voice was calm, interest peeking out from behind his pride.

‘What you have described is the way all Saxon men are. You lie a woman on her back, slip inside – she’ll make a few noises, to hurry you up.’ You shrugged sympathetically. ‘Maybe she is feeling particularly generous, or bored, and will wrap her legs around you, pull you deeper so that she might feel something and coo in your ear a sweet encouragement. It’ll last all of five minutes before you’re lying on your back, satisfied, and she’ll tell how good you were before slipping away. Am I wrong, Aethelflaed?’

All eyes snapped to the Lady of Mercia, the way she looked down and the uncharacteristic blush on her cheeks told everyone everything they needed to know.

‘The thing is, Edward, is that you never had sex for pleasure.’ The King opened his mouth, but you kept going, ignoring the baffled looks from Saxons around you. ‘Only for release and they are not the same.’

Finan was the first to agree. ‘I like the way you think Y/N.’

‘Many men do.’ You stood as you spoke, smiling at your friends but staring pointedly at Edward before retiring to your tent.

It was around an hour later when you sense that you were not alone. In just your tunic you glanced at the dagger at your side before addressing the presence.

‘It’s not very kingly to lurk in the shadows, my lord.’

‘Your words have left an impression.’ The candlelight danced on Edwards features, and you almost missed the reservation in his steps for the soft curve of his mouth. You stood, walking towards him slowly, a small smile encouraging him. ‘After you left, I thought about the things you described, and myself in relation to them. You were right and … and I would like to experience it.’

You could sense his nerves despite the way Edward held your gaze, it was unwavering but as you circled him you noted the way his hands fidgeted behind his back.

‘Experience what my king?’ You stopped in front of him, your chest nearly brushing against his.

‘Pleasure.’

His lips crashed into yours, demanding but soft. You let yourself melt into it, tasting the ale on his tongue before pulling back completely. You laughed as Edward frowned, as a prince he was spoiled, it was clear to see, but you intended to ruin him as a king.

You lead him to the furs of your bed, telling him to sit with a light push on his chest. His eyes were already trained on you but darkened as you removed your clothing, leaving your body exposed. You took delight in how he didn’t know where to look, his eyes darting from your face to your sex with his bottom lip tugged tightly between his teeth.

You let your hands roam around your body, swaying gently till you palmed at your breast, rolling your nipple between your fingers. Your eyes fixated on the growing strain in Edwards breeches as your other hand travelled south, your index finger slipping between your thighs with a gasp.

‘Y/n…’ The sound of your name on his tongue made your stomach flutter, he sounded demanding.

‘Pleasure is the pleasure of your partner.’ You moaned quietly as you slipped another finger into your heat, keeping the pace steady.

‘Show me.’ He sounded desperate.

You took your fingers from between your thighs and brought them to your lips, smiling as Edwards own lips parted in want. You moved towards him slowly, enjoying the growing sweat forming on his forehead and the way he licked his lips.  

He reached for you, but you knelt before him, your hands running up his thighs before you began untying his trousers. He lifted his hips and you focused on ridding him of the fabric before turning your attention to his erection.

It stood proudly before you, the tip red and already leaking precum. You breathed in deeply before pursing your lips and blowing cold air directly onto his member. Edward inhaled deeply, a smile coming to your lips when it jumped in response.

‘You are teasing me.’

‘I am pleasuring you.’ Edward opened his mouth to argue but the words died in his throat. Your lips wrapped around as much of him as you could fit, your hands finding the rest. You bobbed your head once, twice, flattening your tongue as you went down then curling it as you came up. Edward’s left hand bunched in the sheets, grounding himself while his right tangled itself in your hair, his grip creating a delicious burn.

Breathing through your nose you took him as deeply as you could, your throat contracting around him as your vision blurred. The way Edward moaned kept you there for longer than you had any man, quickly finding yourself obsessed with the way his eyes fluttered and his throat bobbed as he tried to hold back the noises. You only stopped when your lungs demanded it.

‘God … Please, Y/n.’

You kissed your way from his balls to his tip, giving it one last lick before kissing up the rest of his body, undoing his shirt as you went. You let your hands roam around the tight muscles of his thighs and abdomen, your tongue following your fingers until you were sat in his lap, your hands tangled in his hair and your lips branding his neck.

‘I want you Y/n.’ You pulled back, lips tingling and bruised, your core brushing against his erection.

‘You want me Edward, but do you desire me?’

‘Yes.’

You smiled at him, the darkness in his eyes and his grip on your hips making you ache. You sunk down on him slowly, enjoying the way he stretched you. You stilled as your hips met his, grinding your clit against his body. The tiny jolts of movement began to pick up speed, Edwards lips discovering the slope of your neck and your hands digging into his shoulders. You wanted it to last forever, to feel the hot ache of him between your legs but you knew he was close. His hips jutted up to meet yours, one of his hands finding its way to your clit as his breath grew heavy in your ear.

His fingers were skilled, rubbing in time to his thrusts while you clawed at his back, your knees beginning to give from beneath you. You came with a call of his name, the tightness in your stomach snapping into white pleasure that washed over your body, wave after wave. Edwards’s pace didn’t slow, and your walls gripped him tightly, convulsing around him until he came with a deep moan. His fingers slowed and both his hands come to rest on your hips. He was smiling.

‘From now on, I think I will always choose pleasure.’

‘A wise choice my lord, I’ll always be happy to comply.’

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[readyplayerhobi]

Jung Hoseok and the Magic to Happiness | 04

; Hufflepuff Teacher!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, angst, future smut

; Word Count: 5.2k

; Synopsis: An unexpected issue with your Ministry of Magic job leads to you taking the role of Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts. It’s here that you meet your best friend’s younger brother for the first time in years, the Hufflepuff Head of House, Jung Hoseok. While you contend with seeing him once again, Hoseok tries to show you that he’s very much a man and no longer the gangly teenager you once knew.

; A/N: I swear, it’s so hard getting back into writing because I’m permanently convinced that everything I write is bad lol. If you enjoy reading this, please let me know by leaving me an ask or writing a comment on a reblog! I appreciate all the comments I get and it helps to inspire me on <3

Last Chapter ; Next Chapter

-

The Winter Solstice Ball was a newer tradition at Hogwarts. Before the Battle of Hogwarts, there hadn’t been anything resembling the ball that would happen. The closest you knew of was the Yule Ball, but that only occurred whenever there was a Tri-Wizard Tournament. 

Something that hadn’t occurred since the unfortunate events of 1994, when poor Cedric Diggory had been murdered by the dark wizard Voldemort. As expected, it had been mutually agreed that the tournament should no longer continue to ensure there could never be another event like Diggory’s death.

Admittedly, that had been a rather unique set of circumstances. The inclusion of the wizard, Harry Potter, in the Tournament had been arranged by dark wizards on the behest of Voldemort, meaning that Diggory’s death had been even more tragic as he wasn’t meant to be there. 

In an attempt to bring more cheer to what should be a happy holiday, Hogwarts had started the Winter Solstice Ball tradition. Unlike the Yule Ball, all years were invited to attend and it also wasn’t on Christmas Day. Instead, it was held on the last day of term and was just a fun event for everyone to enjoy and let off some steam after their first semester back.

You’d always enjoyed it as a student; feeling like a grownup during the first few years and using it as a great way to flirt with boys when you were older. There hadn’t been a year that you hadn’t loved going to it.

It felt a little odd this time though as you were attending as a professor, which meant you had the job of chaperoning all the excited students for the evening. As such, you were excited for an entirely different reason as you would get to watch the First Year’s experience of the ball.

The House Elves had gone all out when decorating the Great Hall today, bringing the feeling of winter inside and taking your breath away. Standing by the open doors, you look around cavernous space with wide eyes and a bright smile. Chaeyoung was next to you, a dress of starlight gracing her body and highlighting just how beautiful she is.

You’d already complimented her as soon as you’d spotted her, admiring the elegant design of her dress and how the tiny crystals are sewn into the fabric reminded you so much of sunlight hitting frost on a winter’s day. Her long black hair was curled into soft waves with her fringe pinned away from her face with a delicate snowflake.

Where she was all light and ice, you were the sumptuous darkness of winter. Your dress was a sumptuous royal blue around your chest which slowly blended into deep midnight by your feet, a shawl of the lightest chiffon in a dark blue around your shoulders. Silver glinted occasionally, threads of it woven through the fabric of your dress and adding a little sparkle alongside the dainty silver necklace around your neck.

The two of you made a striking pair and the combination of a full face of beautiful makeup combined with the jaw-dropping dress made you feel like the prettiest girl in the room. Whether that was true or not, you didn’t care.

The hall itself matched the colour scheme of you both with long swathes of gauzy fabric in rich lavender, crisp white and shimmering silver decorating the tall windows and streaming from the ceiling. Tonight, the ceiling had been enchanted to show clouds backlit by a full moon and tiny flakes of snow fell. They didn’t reach the ground though, melting away a few metres away from the tallest person in the room.

Candles lit the room in all corners, hovering in the air and situated around the room and the tables. A large open space in the centre of the hall was reserved for dancing while a raised section before it hosted the musical entertainment for the night. Small tables surrounded the floor, each only big enough for six people and with white cloths embroidered with tiny snowflakes in silver.

Platters piled high with finger foods dotted the tables alongside empty goblets and jugs of pumpkin juice and butterbeer. A few of the ghosts that haunted Hogwarts floated through the tables, greeting the formally dressed students with cheer and getting into a few conversations with some of them.

Already the hall was filling nicely, students greeting you happily as they rushed inside to meet up with friends and a few of them had already begun to dance. Some of them danced together, trying to figure out how to ballroom dance with the typical awkwardness of teenagers discovering their hormones, and others danced in friend groups. The latter seemed to just be having fun, shaking their bodies wildly to the beat of the music.

“I remember doing that.” Gesturing towards a group of mixed house Fourth Years, you grin at Chaeyoung before chuckling at the memory of dancing like that with Jisoo, Robert and Candace. That had been your ‘group’ of loyal friends throughout your years at Hogwarts, though only Jisoo had remained a close friend once you’d all left.

“Merlin...me too. I had no rhythm back then. Still don’t. Dancing is not for me.” Chuckling, you lean into her and push until she staggers away from you a little before returning the gesture. Glancing around the hall, you note the more introverted people sitting at the tables and sipping at drinks. They don’t seem to be uncomfortable but you resolve to check up on them throughout the night to make sure they’re okay.

“One thing I do love about working with such handsome men here? They make the ball so much better to enjoy.” Chaeyoung hums over the top of her goblet of butterbeer, her refined brows rising in amusement as she looks across the hall. Following her gaze, you have to hide a smile as you take in the sight of some of Hogwarts most eligible bachelor professors and how well they smarten up.

Park Jimin is standing next to Kim Taehyung, his silver hair styled even more elegantly than normal while his dress robes look to have been perfectly tailored to his slim body. A white bow tie adorns his neck and he’s smiling at whatever Taehyung had told him. The Gryffindor Head has his usual boxy smile and you note that he scrubs up just as nicely. Together, they make a lethal pair in terms of looks.

“Now, now,” You muse lightly, looking over to Chaeyoung with mischief on your face. “We’re here to chaperone, not to swoon over good looking men like the teenagers we teach.”

A derisive snort is the only response she gives you, but you see that she’s not taken her eyes off the two younger men. Idly, you wonder which would make the perfect partner for her. You’d consider Taehyung to be a good candidate as their fun-loving natures would get on well, but there’s something about Jimin that makes you think he’d be an even better pick.

She wouldn’t even have to change her last name.

Any more thoughts you have on the subject vanish when the newest professor walks through the door. Black hair made darker from some kind of styling gel is swept up from his forehead, a strand or two falling stubbornly and giving him an almost charming appearance. Deep black robes sweep from his shoulders, covering up a suit that highlights his body in all the right ways.

Unlike Jimin and Taehyung, his outfit was completely black and you swallowed instinctively as you let your eyes run down his frame. Hoseok pauses at the doorway, pink lips moving as he talks to Nayeon, the divination professor. She looks pretty in a floaty dress of bubblegum pink and fizzing lilac, her smile genuine and eyes sparkling as she looks up at him.

Lips twisting, you turn away from the sight and don’t even notice the way Chaeyoung is watching you closely, her lips turning up in a smile she tries to hide. Looking away from you, she catches Seokjin’s questioning expression across the hall and nods at him subtly, enjoying the way the astronomy professor gets a determined look on his face.

“Speaking of men who are too beautiful to be real, Jung Hoseok always looks so good at these events. How is a man like that allowed to even exist?” There’s a breathy note to Chaeyoung’s voice, causing you to frown at her a little before looking back over in his direction. 

Nayeon is still standing there, a forlorn expression gracing her face as she watches Hoseok move away from her. It’s only then that you realise he’s walking towards you, causing your eyes to widen in surprise. Confusingly, you’re a little unsure of what to do or how to act.

Not when he’s looking like that. This is not the shy and awkward Hoseok with his dress robes too big for him, the only memory you have of him at the Winter Solstice Ball. He couldn’t be any further from that teenager and you don’t know how to handle that.

Especially when he gives you that breathtaking smile, his cheeks rising and dimpling while his dark eyes shine in delight. You should’ve known the Jung genes would result in him growing into an attractive man; his sister was one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen.

“Y/N, Chaeyoung,” He bows his head to you both, that smile just as prominent and you nod back to him a little awkwardly. “You both look beautiful tonight. Winter is personified with your colours, it’s nice.” 

For a moment, you’re a little lost for words on how to respond to him. You couldn’t recall the last time you’d been so casually complimented, especially from a man. A man as attractive as him. It causes you to swallow wrong and you cough loudly, pressing a hand to your throat.

“Thanks, you’re looking pretty fine yourself tonight,” Chaeyoung teases him, causing that smile to become a little more bashful. “Anyway, I’m going to leave you two alone for a moment, okay? I need to go talk to Seokjin about something.”

You watch her go with wide eyes, noting with suspicion that she’s moving a little faster than you’d expect and you wonder if she’s up to something. But then you realise that you’re being left alone with Hoseok, who’s casually looking you up and down while you’re attention is elsewhere.

It’s only when he catches your eye when you look back, a brow raised, that he realises you’ve caught him. Hoseok turns his head quickly, probably giving himself whiplash and you have to hide the snort at the soft blush on his cheeks.

He may be all grown up now, but he still reminded you of that shy boy who never quite knew how to talk to you.

Reaching out, you poke at his chest and grin at him.

“She’s right, you are looking good tonight. Cleaned up very well.” Hoseok gives you a droll stare and you laugh, feeling any awkwardness rushing away as you both fall into the easy-going nature of your friendship.

The rest of the evening goes by in much the same manner with the two of you separating on occasion to handle issues with students or just to do a walk around. Apart from that though, you both end up spending more time with each other than with anyone else. Conversation flows easily like a fast-moving river and you find yourself laughing more than you have in a while.

You only have to break up one fight between two young boys; the culmination of weeks of tension between the two finally bubbling over. It starts with raised voices before escalating to blows, resulting in you escorting the two to Madame Pomfrey to check for any injuries. After that, you leave them in the hands of Park Jimin to discipline them given their house.

When you get back, you look around for Hoseok or Chaeyoung. You can’t see either of them, causing you to take up a place at the back against the wall to observe for any fallout from the fight. Thankfully, the mood seems to have picked up and you wonder if that’s got anything to do with the more upbeat music that’s being played.

It was never nice watching your students get into fights with each other or lose friendships, but you knew that was part of growing up. The thing about teenagers, and kids, was that they were incredibly resilient. You did not doubt that they would both be back to being friends within a week or so.

“All sorted?” Comes a deep voice to the right, the sound closer than you expected and causing you to jump slightly. Turning to look, you note that Hoseok has turned up out of nowhere and you relax at the sight of his familiar face.

“Yeah, no injuries to each other apart from wounded pride and friendships.” That causes Hoseok to snort and roll his eyes, leaning back against the wall alongside you. Suddenly, you recall how many times Jisoo complained of having to comfort her brother when he’d had yet another fight during his tenure at Hogwarts.

“I’m sure you know all about that, Mr Jung. I remember Jisoo having to deal with you. You were shy but a firecracker.” He sighs deeply and you lean into him, giggling as you regale him with some of the tales she’d told you. Thankfully, he takes it all with his usual good nature and you end up segueing into other memories of your time at Hogwarts.

The exams and the studying, the professors back then and your favourite subjects. It’s something he already knows as you’ve both discussed it previously, but he indulges you and listens amiably while keeping an eye out.

You’re stopped though when he suddenly interrupts you, straightening slightly.

“Would you like to dance? There’s not as many people out there now and you haven’t danced once tonight.” His question is abrupt, causing you to falter in your conversation. Narrowing your eyes, you look him over closely and wonder if he’s being serious. And you conclude that he is.

Looking over at the dance floor, you contemplate for a moment and chew your lip before nodding. Now it’s your turn to feel shy, avoiding his gaze and trying not to catch the eye of anyone else in the hall as he leads you carefully to the floor. 

There’s probably a few statues in the British Museum that are less stiff than you as you turn to him, feeling his hand as he settles it on your lower back. You’re hyper-aware of that hand; how hot it feels against you even with the fabric of the dress between you. But that pales in comparison to the feel of his hand against your own, the way he holds it almost tenderly.

Logically, you know that he’s doing that because that’s how you’re supposed to dance like this. A light touch, but it makes you feel a little strange. You’re not sure why it makes you feel like that and you find yourself staring at his long fingers, wondering if he kept up the piano he’d been taught when younger.

The music leads you both in the dance, each beat dictating where you move and you’re vaguely aware of the students dancing around you. None of them are staring or looking confused as there had been many professors who had danced together tonight. But you couldn’t help but feel like this dance was a little different.

This was the closest you’d ever been to Hoseok and his body is so close to your own that you can physically feel the heat coming from him. Every breath you take brings the smell of him into your nose, the familiar mix of rich wood and lemongrass that is so, undeniably Hoseok. And underlying all that is the smell that’s unique to him.

“Is this okay?” He asks quietly and you stare at the black button-up covering his chest, avoiding his gaze given how close the two of you are. It’s probably not the best thing to do when you realise that shirt is straining a little and you can see the outline of his torso from the light of the nearby candles.

Swallowing hard, you look over his shoulder and try to ignore the sudden knowledge that Hoseok is buff beneath his clothes. Which doesn’t help, because you find your eye trailing down his chest as you consider. It’s only when you reach his belt buckle that you suddenly look away, taking a deep breath and wondering what was wrong with you.

You’d had one too many butterbeers tonight or something, which was a terrible excuse as it had such little alcohol content that it didn’t even matter. This was Jisoo’s brother, her little brother. Not someone you should be thinking about half-naked.

Right?

Finally, though, you register his question and nod quickly in response. You’re not sure that you can talk to him without saying something inappropriate as your brain isn’t working very well right now. Not when you’re so confused about...well everything.

“Are you sure? You’ve gone a little weird. Quiet.” Hoseok murmurs, his voice low to avoid any of the students overhearing it. Sighing, you stand a little straighter before looking at him directly and giving him a firm smile. It takes a little more effort than you’d like to push away those errant thoughts but you do so.

“Fine, just worried about those students. I hate seeing their friendship ruined and them angry at each other, you know?” It’s not a lie as you are still concerned about them, but he doesn’t need to know everything going on in your head. Which is why you’re thankful when he nods slowly before spinning you around.

“They’ll be okay. I’ve been doing this job long enough to know that they’ll be back to being friends sooner rather than later. They’ve already got some of that testosterone out by punching each other, which I’d rather they didn’t do but Jimin will talk it out with them. Don’t worry too much, they’ll be fine.” It’s sweet how considerate he’s being and you can hear how genuine he is in his voice. 

You don’t get to say anything else though as the tempo increases when the song switches over, causing Hoseok to twirl you away from him with a laugh. All around you the dances start to get a little more energetic and you can’t help but shriek with joy as he matches the student’s enthusiasm, listening to them as they cheer at two of their professors getting involved in the frivolities.

Neither of you notices the way Seokjin and Chaeyoung watch you both closely before smirking at each other.

-

Glancing around the room, you note how most of the students had already left and gone to bed for the night. The clock had struck midnight a while ago and you had to press a hand to your mouth as you yawned, turning your head away to be polite. A few remaining students were still dancing on the floor but even as you watched, some of them started to walk towards the exit.

Looking over at Chaeyoung, you caught her eye with a wave and smiled with relief when she nodded and made a shooing gesture. Turning to Hoseok, you tried to hide another yawn and almost giggled when you saw that he’d caught one from you, his mouth wide as he didn’t even try to hide it.

“I think we can go now. Chaeyoung gestured that we can leave so I think they’re going to hustle the last students to bed. Something which I’m also very excited to do because I feel like I’ve been awake for two days right now.” Blinking and almost trying to stretch your eyelids by widening them as far as you could, you almost missed the way Hoseok laughed at your antics.

“Tired? It’s not even two in the morning, I expected better of you.” He teases, gently pushing his elbow into your arm before avoiding your hand as you try to swat him. You’d admit that he looked a lot more awake than you did, which you’d say wasn’t fair but you don’t think you’ve ever truly seen him look tired.

“Well, you’re still young and spry. You’ll learn when you get to my age.” Moving off towards the doors of the Great Hall, you grab a tiny triangular sandwich from one of the remaining platters on a table as you pass by.

Light pressure on the small of your back causes you to arch slightly, your chest moving forward and you tilt your head to look at your companion. There’s no expression on Hoseok’s face, nothing to indicate he’s affected by touching you and you frown slightly as you wonder why it’s affecting you.

“You’re not old, I don’t know why you keep thinking that.” He murmurs, voice deep and quiet.

Neither of you says anything more for a few minutes, instead just walking quietly through the hallways. It’s a comfortable silence and you muse for a moment on how much you’ve come to enjoy spending time with him. You would happily say that he was your closest friend here at Hogwarts; something you would’ve never thought would happen when you were studying here and he was just your best friend’s little brother.

That makes you think of how defensive he always gets whenever you, or anyone else, seems to imply that you’re old. Huffing out a laugh, you bite your lip as you contemplate that for a second. Maybe he doesn’t like the implication that you, and by extension, his sister, are considered ‘older’ by the students. Or that he’s also approaching thirty.

The student’s opinions have never bothered you as they think anyone over the age of twenty is old. Nor have you been concerned overall, given the extended lifespan that witches had compared to muggles. You were finally feeling content with your career and your life, something you attested partly to growing older and becoming more at ease with yourself.

But he always got so defensive of it, so maybe he was concerned about himself.

“You don’t have to keep defending my age, you know,” Apparently you were going to query this with him and you blamed the butterbeer for loosening up your tongue. “I’m okay with it, honestly. Which means I’m okay with joking about it.”

Hoseok stiffened slightly and you spotted his expression looking a little uneasy. Frowning, you placed a hand on his arm and pulled him to a stop. Your quarters were only a few corridors away now and the two of you were given a warm glow from the candles lit nearby. 

“I’m not defending...I mean, okay maybe I am. I just...I don’t want you to feel like it’s an issue.” Now you’re giving him an amused look, lip quirked up on one side as you try to hold in a small giggle.

“It’s not an issue. Have I made it seem like it was?” Tilting your head, you watch as his eyes dart across your face in an almost shy manner.

“No...well, not in the way you might think,” He looks uncomfortable and you’re about to tell him it’s okay, that he doesn’t have to continue but he does so before you get the chance to speak. “I’m just made every aware of our age difference. You know, the whole ‘you’re her best friend’s little brother’ thing.”

“Hey, I don’t do that, do I?” Now you’re a little concerned.

“No, not really. Not for a while anyway. You did when you first got here but I understood that. We hadn’t met in a while and everyone was curious about how we knew each other. But now...I don’t even know what I’m talking about. Honestly, it’s not important. You’re right.” Hoseok’s babbling a bit but you decide to let him change the conversation. You’re not entirely sure why it truly bothers him, but you’re not going to press it anyway. He deserves to have his feelings and they don’t need to be analysed.

“Okay-” Before you can say anything else, you hear the quiet chiming of bells and frown in confusion. The sound echoes a little in the empty corridor, simultaneously creepy and also ethereal. 

Hoseok looks around as well, his brow knitted in confusion before he suddenly spots something about you both. Following him, you note the odd plant that’s grown from the ceiling out of nowhere. The green branches are still growing and you note with interest the small white berries that seem to be forming and familiar leaf shapes appear at the end of each branch.

A red ribbon is delicately wrapped around the stems and you see the little golden bells that let out tiny chimes as they rock from side to side in a non-existent breeze. Now you’re the one frowning as you look around you both, trying to spot who’d set a mistletoe charm to grow when someone walked beneath it.

“Mistletoe?” Hosek whispers, reaching up with one hand in an attempt to touch it. He can’t reach it and you sigh, shaking your head and crossing your arms over your chest.

“Someone has thought it’d be funny to put mistletoe charms around the castle for the ball. Certainly adds to the Christmas spirit. I’ve seen these popping up all night above couples on the dance floor. I think it’s a seasonal Weasley thing, seems like something they’d sell to annoy people.”

The mistletoe is suddenly snowing, letting tiny snowflakes drift to the ground around you both and leaving fluffy snow to settle on Hoseok’s hair and dress robes. How very romantic, you muse to yourself.

“Does it just disappear on its own after a while?” He asks, running his fingers through his hair to try and get rid of some of the snow. Smiling at him, you gently brush at his shoulders only to decide it’s a losing battle as more snow lands.

“Nope. You gotta kiss, that’s the whole point of mistletoe, right? Otherwise, it follows you around.” Hoseok sighs deeply and rolls his eyes.

“Of course it does. Definitely a Weasley thing.”

Looking back up at the mistletoe, and having to blink to avoid getting snowflakes in your eyes, you purse your lips before looking back at Hoseok. You’d long since come to terms with the fact that you find him attractive; anyone with eyes can see that. But you hadn’t planned on doing anything about it, not given who he was and who his sister was to you.

His words from earlier play through your mind though, and you wonder if he hates having to constantly know he’s given the best friend’s little brother status. Even now, months after you’d arrived and you considered him a friend, you knew that there were still people who thought of that as the most defining characteristic of your friendship.

Letting out a little sigh, you straighten your shoulders before reaching out and taking hold of his dress robes. Fuck it, you’re not one to waste a perfect chance.

Pulling him closer, you watch as his eyes dart to yours and widen when he realises that you’re moving towards him as well. And then those same eyes flick to your lips, the movement so fast that you’d almost miss it if it wasn’t for the fact that he did again only seconds later. 

Combined with the zero resistance he was giving, you came to the solid conclusion that he wasn’t going to reject you. Not when you were giving him plenty of time and reason to back out if he wanted to.

Tilting your head to him, you felt his warm breath as it caressed your face, the smell of butterbeer strong. And then your lips are pressed together, neither of you sure who made the final move and neither of you gives a damn at that exact moment. 

The pressure of your lips against each other is gentle at first, almost hesitant as both of you try to figure out where to go from here. All that was required was a kiss, which was what you were both doing right now. But you didn’t quite want to let him go just yet, not when you knew he probably had so much more to offer.

Shifting, you manoeuvred your way into a position that made the kiss a little more personal and no longer like two teenagers who’d never kissed in their life. Letting go of his robes, your arms move to wrap around his neck and you run your fingers through his hair, enjoying how soft the black strands feel against your fingers.

A quiet noise leaves Hoseok, his arms sliding around your waist to pull you a little closer to him while he kisses you more forcefully than before. It feels...you can’t even find the words to describe how it feels, only knowing that you’re not entirely sure you want him to stop.

Any hesitation has disappeared between you both and you simply lose yourself to the delightful feeling of Jung Hoseok against your lips, against your body and how he feels under your fingertips. It’s only when he moves a little further, his tongue asking for entrance to fire up the kiss even more, that you suddenly come to your senses.

Pushing back from him, you stare with wide eyes and only just realise that the bells have stopped. A glance up shows the mistletoe is gone and you breathe a little heavily, not realising that you’d kissed him that forcefully until now. Hoseok looks just as out of breath with an odd look in his eyes that you can’t quite figure out.

Licking at your lips, and trying to ignore the knowledge that you could probably taste him right now, you run your hands down the front of your dress robes before giving him a slightly awkward smile. Coughing, you turn your eyes away from the strangely intense gaze he’s giving you.

“Erm, well it’s gone now. So...we’re not gonna be followed by mistletoe anymore,” Playing with your fingers, you wonder if you made a very bad decision tonight. “I, erm, I’m gonna go to bed now. It’s late and...well...yeah. Thank you, for walking me here and spending time with me, you know, dancing and all that. It was nice, I had a good time and thank you. Yeah, I already thanked you. Err...get to bed safely, okay? I mean, I…” 

Hoseok reaches out and takes hold of your nervous hands. It makes you jump nervously, but he just gives a reassuring smile while rubbing the back of your hands with his thumbs.

“Y/N...it’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow. Go to sleep and have good dreams.” There’s no annoyance in his voice, no anger or outrage that you’ve gone from initiating that kiss to acting very strange in only seconds. 

“Yeah...I...you too. You too.” Frowning as you walked away from him, you wondered what in Merlin’s beard you’d just done.

[polin-erospsyche]

The prompt number 16 is quite interesting lol 16. “Control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.” Choose the ship/character you like :)

Hello! Ok, there are literally zero reasons as to why it took me a year to write this bloody thing except maybe that I had some not fun moments and also this literally never could have been written if I hadn’t waited this long. I don’t know if you’ll read it. You’ve probably forgotten about this in all fairness but if you do read it I hope you like it. 

Also taking this opportunity to thank everyone for following me. I’m at 400 followers! This is insane. I’m not sure why you’re all following tbh but to celebrate I forced myself to finish this long overdue fic, hope you like it! Also disclaimer: I love all of the characters from TLH. I am aware of the existing debate around Matthew and Alastair and my writing in here does not represent my point of view. But I I decided to represent Matthew and his view in this way for story telling purpose. Please don’t come at me with gun blazing. If you do wanna talk, we can, but in peace 😊💕

Somewhere Where Our Shadows Meet, It Feels Like Coming Home - 

a Fairdale one-shot (is that even their brotp name???) 

This was the fifth time James was rereading the passage of the book he had picked up. It was no use. Each time he finished the page he had already forgotten the beginning. His mind was foggy with a multitude of thoughts. Thoughts about Lucie and her strange dalliance with a boy who used to be a ghost, about Grace which inevitably led to unsolicited questions on his own identity, and, as much as he tried not to think about it, thoughts of Matthew and Cordelia. He really did not enjoy these last kinds of thoughts. He couldn’t help but imagine what kind of relationship could have blossomed between the two during their trip to Paris. He knew how Matthew felt, but when it came to Cordelia, he had no single clue. He constantly wondered as to whether she hated or loved him. Daring to hope that he hadn’t ruined everything. Just for that hope to vanish the next second because there was no possible way he did not ruin it. And even if ever decided to ask her, he would have no idea how to approach the topic without sounding like an arrogant bastard.  

James let out a long breath, rolling his shoulders, trying to let go of the tension. He was pretty sure that if he ventured to look at himself in the mirror that was hung above the chimney, he would see huge dark circles beneath his eyes. Circles which color could rival the color of London’s night sky. A result of many nights plagued by bad dreams and worry. During some of those sleepless nights, James had gone to Cordelia’s room. The first time it was under the pretext of looking for books. Her room had been full of her personal belongings. A bottle of perfume on her vanity table, an evening dress carefully laid out on the chaise longue, a copy of Majun and Layla on her bedside table. So many little pieces of who Cordelia was scattered in a room she had run away from. She hadn’t been back to Curzon street since that night. Upon arriving in London, she had decided to move back with her mother using the excuse of the soon-to-be new baby’s arrival. James kept going to her home though, eventually admitting to himself that he did so because of the smell of Jasmin that lingered. It was the closest thing he had to a semblance of her presence in the house. It was a soft smell that grounded him. It was also a heady smell that reminded him of the sweetness he had lost.

He shook himself out of thoughts of her. Something he had gotten quite good at to be fair, considering how many times he thought of her in the span of a day. Pushing himself up from the table he was leaning against, he closed the book he was reading, giving up on understanding it, and made his way to the window. Outside the sky was tinged in pastel colors drawing the day to a close. James would slowly make his way back home. He would rehash the day, come up with new plans to wake his sister from her deep sleep, find out that these plans would fail again come morning, and finally decide that he would need to eat a bite because going to bed with an empty stomach was just not advisable. His parents had offered for him to stay at the Institute with them but James had refused. He preferred the calm and silence of Curzon Street. He found that the bittersweet cloak that covered his house was, in some ways, almost reassuring. Maybe he was going insane. Just when he was ready to go bid his goodnight to his family, he heard the doors of the library open wide behind him and slammed shut again.

“Did you know?” Matthew growled. James might have thought that he himself had gone slightly deranged chasing down the smell of Jasmin throughout his home, but at least he did not look half as unhinged as Matthew looked right this instant. Matthew’s eyes were wide, his pupils dilated, and his fist clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white.

“Are you alright?” James asked, keeping an even tone.

“Did you know?”

“Know what?”

Matthew took a few strides in James’ direction. His stare holding James’ gaze in place as if daring James to contrary him. “Did you know about Thomas?”

“Um yes,” James nodded, a sly smile playing on his lips. “I do know Thomas.” At that Matthew narrowed his eyes and almost seemed as if he was trying hard not to grind his teeth. Noted. Attempts at humor and alleviating the situation were not going to work. “What about him?” James tried again. His smile replaced by a serious gaze.

“Did you know about Alastair?” Matthew asked, almost spatting out Alastair’s name.

James took a few steps back, reinstating the much-needed personal space for such a conversation. James did know about Alastair, but only because Thomas had looked so miserable and James had pried so insistently that Thomas had had no choice but to give up his well-kept secret. James had understood, sometimes you couldn’t choose who you fell in love with. Sometimes you fell in love with something that only you saw in the other person. Love was usually shrouded in mystery this way, best not to question how it worked. Obviously, by the look of things, Matthew did not agree.

“Please sit down,” James pointed to one of the green velvet armchairs. “I’ll pour you a drink.” James said, making his way to the stash of liquor in one of the dark wooden commodes. James had always wondered what kind of people, for what kind of situation kept alcohol in the library of all rooms. It always seemed to him that a secret stash of tea would have been more appropriate. Now he understood what kind of situation required people to put alcohol in every room, even if it was just one abandoned bottle of Parkmore. “Is Whiskey alright?” James turned his head in Matthew’s direction.

“So you knew?” Matthew answered, seemingly in a staring competition with the mustard yellow wallpaper in front of him. “He told you?”

Whiskey it would be for a total lack of all other present choices James thought as he started to pour a glass.

Matthew kept going on his verbal onslaught towards the wallpaper. In all fairness mustard yellow was a color that could potentially enrage everyone. “How can he? It’s Alastair that we are talking about. It’s not as if there wasn’t any other man in London that Thomas couldn’t have a fling for.”

James very much doubted that a fling could start to describe Thomas’s feelings for Alastair. However, seeing how Matthew was nearly spitting out every single one of his words, he thought it safer not to share this piece of information.

“Matthew, please calm down and control your anger or you’ll have me to worry about.” James handed the glass to Matthew, which he waved away.

“No, thank you. I don’t drink.”

James squinted. “Since when?”

“Since Paris.”

James couldn’t help but feel a pinch in his chest at the mention of Paris. Paris city of lights, city of lovers. An escape his friend had taken with the only girl James had ever, truly, loved since he was barely old enough to understand the concept. It was a wondrous thing how much pain a single word could hold.

“What a strange place to decide to stop drinking.” James took a sip of the honey-colored liquid, trying to hide his hurt to the best of his ability.

“Cordelia asked me to. That was her condition for coming with me.”

James did not want to go in the general direction of a conversation that involved Cordelia. Especially not if that conversation was with Matthew. He had written a letter. James had understood. He slightly had the urge to strangle his best friend for going with her; for loving her; he did not quite know. But that was it. They hadn’t spoken of Paris nor of Cordelia together and that was for the best. Neutral conversations were for the best, they could avoid the hurt and the blame, and if James let it come to that again who knew what would be next. Yet he couldn’t help but ask.

“Why did you leave?”

Matthew turned to James, his anger receding ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” A beat, a choice to either keep going or retreat before it is too late. A beat, a choice to see where this could go “why did you go to Paris?”

“You owe me an answer first. Did you know about Alastair?”

“Yes.”  

“How could you not tell me?”

“You weren’t here Matthew.” James’ voice almost broke, almost. “How was I supposed to tell you anything?”

James had wanted to throw so much more at Matthew’s face. Throw words that he wouldn’t be able to take back. He had been feeling so alone. So utterly lost after Grace’s admission. After Cordelia’s departure. He had needed his best friend. He had wanted to tell him so much, to figure it all out with him. To have Matthew hold him at times when he didn’t know if he could hold it up together and tell him, simply, that he believed in him. But Matthew hadn’t been in London. He had been in Paris. Happy. With Cordelia.

“And you accept it?” Matthew asked, carefully studying James.

“I guess it depends on what we are talking about. In any case,” James turned away from the fireplace to look at his friend. “why are you so against it if it makes Thomas happy?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because Alastair doesn’t deserve to be loved?”

“Maybe it is more about deserving a second chance rather than deserving of love. Maybe it is about getting a chance to fix your mistakes. Surely no one is worthless of that.”

“Sometimes the mistakes are too big to fix.” Matthew shrugged, breaking eye contact.

“Is that why you ran away?” The question was asked so softly as if asked any louder and James would be terrified to see Matthew run away again. James wasn’t sure he could bear it, no matter how much frustration towards Matthew he still felt.  

“I didn’t run.” Matthew shook his head. His gaze far and distant as if in another land, in a shadow realm. “I took a train, there’s a difference. And I left because of Cordelia.”

James had an inkling he hadn’t left because of Cordelia but rather Cordelia had followed in a desperate pursuit to drown both of their sorrows in the glamour of a city like Paris. After all, Paris was so similar to Matthew, it was no wonder he had chosen it. At the surface, both were golden and shining like a polished jewel box. Once that jewel box was open, however, shadows, pain, and sadness would pour out like a damn breaking loose.

“I never thought you’d try to run away from me.” James knelt in front of Matthew, his knees landing on the soft midnight blue carpet. “That one day, I’d become a part of the shadows that you try to outrun.”

Matthew turned around so fast and reached for James’ face. His green eyes were darker than usual. “You’re not my shadows, Jamie Bach. You’re my home. You are the reason why I still believe I’m worth being forgiven for.” He said those words like a damned man dying for a confession, following blindly a faith he held so dear to his heart, hoping that that faith could be his saving grace. James understood that he had become that faith.

“Forgiven for what?” James asked.  

“I can’t tell you.”

“It’s me, Matthew. What is so bad that you cannot tell me?”

“I can’t tell you because I’m afraid. I need you to stay with me. I need you to believe that I am good, even if it means that you believe in a lie.”

“Matthew …”

“If you keep choosing me and believing in me,” Matthew interrupted. If he couldn’t finish now, he never would. “then maybe I can believe that I am no monster.”

“You are not a monster, you are my parabatai.”

James felt like they were back on that bridge, at night, so close to being let in in Matthew’s secrets. Back then James hadn’t been in control of himself, he hadn’t known what was happening to him. He had lost his chance. It would not happen again. It could not happen again. James was so tired of walking a frayed rope line with Matthew, guessing at hinted truths. Being someone’s constant north took work and time and effort but because it was Matthew, James could do it. He would always do it and he needed Matthew to know that as clearly as they both knew that one day would come when they would both cross the other side together. Because after all, that was what it had always been about. Despite shadows and lies and deceptions and miscommunication, they would always be together. So James continued.  

“Do you know what that means? It means that I made a promise to you. I said entreat me not to leave thee, for wither thou goest, I will go. If aught but death part thee and me. I will not leave. No matter what you’ve done, I will stand by you, because that is the choice that I have made. That I still make. There is not a thing in this world that you could have done that would make me stop loving you, calon fy enaid.”

Matthew looked up at James and teased “Does that mean that you accept my feelings for Cordelia?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I must say, I don’t think I’m her type. It’s a pity, really.” Some strands of Matthew’s hair fell in his eyes as he shook his head. James could see the old Matthew again. The carefree one that balanced out his own shadows so well. The one he would choose and forgive a thousand times over because he too was his home.

“Matthew.”

“All right, all right.” Matthew threw his hands up in a mock gesture of surrender. “I just … wish you could promise that I would not lose you.”

“I promise.”

“You can’t promise something you don’t know.” Matthew said before he started to talk about his own misbeliefs that had led to a terrible accident. James listened and did not judge and stayed long in the night after Matthew had said everything that had weighted so heavy on his heart for so long. And somewhere, under the warm light of oil lamps and next to a warm fire, the frayed rope between the two started to mend and James could only describe the feeling as one of coming home.  

Tag List: @lady-ofroses @clockworknights @the-axewielding-herondale @tess-the-dreamer @coloandreablog

Do let me know if you want to be on the tag list and I’ll happily add you! (I have a tag list now visibly, wild and mind-blown) I will try to post more now that my exams are somewhat done. Who am I kidding? There will always be more stuff to do XD

[sanzoumon]

**FIRE FORCE FIC PROMPTS**

Note: A good chunk of these are smut prompts, featuring various ships (mostly BL ships). There are noncon prompts at the end, clearly marked where they start. I threw in some purely platonic SFW prompts for those of you who are into weird stuff like that lol

Please, if you like any of these prompts and are going to write them - tell me. Also some of these prompts are super detailed while others are like one sentence long.

Ships Included:

Konro x Benimaru • Joker x Benimaru • Viktor x Joker • Burns x Joker • Shinra x Sho • Shinra x Arthur • Charon x Haumea

————

-PLATONIC-

- Arrow & Sho. Sho gets upset and cries into Arrow’s chest. He’s so upset he calls her “mommy” without realizing it.

- Charon & Haumea. “Unconditional love” is what his thoughts told her. What she doesn’t understand is why. No matter how much she tries to find out, the answer alludes her.

- Shinra & Sho. Bed sharing and cuddling.

-SHIPPING-

Konro x Benimaru

- Teenage!Benimaru confesses his love for Konro when he’s drunk after having drank Sake for the first time.

- D/s. Benimaru loves giving up control to Konro when they have sex.

- Rumors about them being in a relationship spread, leading to so unsavory comments about Konro regarding their age difference. (Ex: suggesting Konro took advantage of Beni when he was young; that it’s creepy since Konro was an adult while Beni was a child when they first met; etc) Needless to say, Benimaru gets pissed anyone would dare think that about Konro.

- Doppelgänger!Konro x Doppelgänger!Benimaru. Hell’s a little nicer when you have someone you love to have sex with. Even Doppelgängers feel love.

- Doppel!Benimaru manifests and wreaks havoc because his Konro is dead. Now he wants Konro to replace him and he won’t let Benimaru get in the way of that. (Doppel!Beni is Yandere for Konro [both if them] because that’s how people perceive Benimaru to be... and turns out it’s correct, Benimaru IS Yandere for Konro).

- Mourning. Doppel!Benimaru finds out his Konro is dead. All of Adolla quakes from the outburst of his sorrow.

- (past noncon) Teenage!Benimaru tries to thank Konro in the only way he knows how - with his body. Konro is, reasonably, freaked out and finds out why it is Beni thinks this is appropriate.

- Benimaru is a bit of a submissive masochist. Konro is happy to help with whatever Beni needs.

- Their first time together wasn’t gentle. It was passionate, overwhelming, aggressive, heated, rough. All their pent up feelings for each out came rushing out violently and they were both happy to get caught up in it. Benimaru never felt so content in his life as when Konro was manhandling him that night.

- Benimaru does something special, and embarrassing, for Konro. Puppy-play.

- Konro is a bit of a voyeur. Those pictures he took of Beni for the calendar are not the only pictures he has of him. For Konro’s birthday, Benimaru supplies him with extra special pictures that Beni took of himself. As it happens, Benimaru is an exhibitionist.

- The world is on fire and Benimaru has nothing left to give. Before the flames take him he has to tell Konro he loves him. (Sad fic, death fic)

Joker x Benimaru // Benimaru x Joker

- They each have their own shit to be frustrated about. They take it out on each other when one of them needs it. It’s fine, they can take it.

- It’s not love. They don’t even like each other. They irritate each other. But they sure do love angry fucking each other.

Viktor x Joker

- Joker loves how fascinating Viktor finds him.

- Unlike any other partners he’s had, Viktor treats Joker gently when they have sex. He’s not used to it and gets flustered.

- After killing the captain at the Holy Sol Temple, the reality of the situation hits him. The man who violated him for years, who continued to haunt his nightmares into adulthood, was dead. All of a sudden he needs to see Viktor no matter what. (Hurt/comfort)

Burns x Joker

- (past noncon) Joker cries during sex and Burns really doesn’t know what to do about it.

- 52 has a crush on Burns and comes onto him one night. Burns can’t bring himself to turn him down, knowing what 52 goes through, and opts to make him feel good instead.

- Joker mourns Burns’ death.

- After all these years, Joker has daddy issues. It doesn’t surprise Burns’ in the slightest when Joker calls him “daddy” in bed. What surprises him is how much he enjoys being called that.

Shinra x Sho

- Sho has zero sense of personal space and Shinra’s been having some very uncomfortable thoughts about his little brother.

- Sho is in love with Shinra and doesn’t understand why everyone says it’s “wrong”.

- “Let big brother take care of you.”

- (past noncon) Arrow confesses to Shinra about all the terrible things the White Clad did to Sho since they abducted him. When he got old enough to start questioning things, they broke him. They did it again after Shinra’s Adolla Link with Sho (which in turn Shinra feels guilty for). [this one could be romantic or brotherly but either way hurt/comfort]

- Shinra thinks Sho is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. An angel too perfect for a devil like him.

- A little bit of brotherly playful roughhousing, making up for all the years they lost, leads to something much more heated. Neither stops to think about it, it feels too good to finally be together.

- Shinra likes it a lot when Sho cries out “big brother” while they make love.

Shinra x Arthur

- A stupid argument about something pointless ends in Shinra pinning Arthur to the floor. Before either knows it they’re grinding against each other, kissing harshly.

- (attempted noncon) Doppel!Shinra tries to force himself on Arthur when Arthur confronts him about the real Shinra’s whereabouts.

- Arthur knows this isn’t the real Shinra, but there’s something alluringly taboo about being taken roughly by a devil like this.

Charon x Haumea

- The world is about to burn, but before she fulfills her duty she wants to show Charon how thankful she truly is for his devotion to her all this time. She figures she’ll kill two birds with one stone, rewarding him and indulging in pleasure herself.

-NONCON-

Mob x Benimaru

- Before ending up in Asakusa, being found and taken in by Hibachi, Benimaru lived on the streets of the Tokyo Empire. There’s a good reason he resents the Tokyo Empire and doesn’t like to leave Asakusa. A child alone on the streets is dangerous and he was so weak back then. It wasn’t uncommon for him to be cornered in some alley and sexually assaulted, left in the trash once they were done with him.

- Benimaru doesn’t know how this happening to him of all people, why he’s unable to fight off his attackers. They’re mocking him, degrading him, humiliating him, and they’re forcing him to get off on what’s being done to him. At some point he starts crying, begging for them to stop, which only makes them enjoy his torment more.

- Benimaru is drunk off his ass and someone decides to take advantage of the situation. How often do you get the chance to have Asakusa’s “King of Destruction” begging for you to fuck him?

Mob x Joker

- 52 still isn’t learning his lesson. To break him further, and to reward the rest of the shadows for their hard work and dedication, the captain has them punish 52 by letting them do whatever they want to him (nothing that will cause permanent injury, at least). 52’s entire week was spent as a plaything for them all, torture, rape, humiliation, degradation, all manner of creative punishment. It came damn close to breaking him.

- The criminal underworld isn’t a nice place. Sometimes Joker messes with the wrong people and he got taught painful lessons, no different from what the captain did to him.

- Forced Burns x Joker. The church calls it a bonding ceremony. Burns knows it’s just their way of attempting to break 52 by having the one person who hasn’t mistreated him hurt him. If Burns refuses, it won’t end well for anyone involved. So he forces himself on 52 and hates himself for it.

Mob x Sho

- (Extreme underage) Sho was just too tiny and cute. Only 5 years old. So soft, so sweet. Naturally, they had to beat that out of him.

- Haumea x Sho. She dresses him up like the beautiful doll he is. She plays with him like the toy he is. She violates him like the object he is. She makes him cry, cry out for his brother, his mother, Arrow, anyone, like the child he is. She makes him spread his legs for other White Clad members and then hurts him when he gets his dress dirty, like the useless slut he is. She leaves him hard, needy, alone for hours, until he’s begging for release. She tells him if his brother could see him now, he’d be disgusted by him. He agrees.

Kurono x Nataku

- Kurono loves every pathetic thing about Nataku. Or it’s as close to love as he’s capable of. In his own twisted way, he shows his affection for the boy.

- Nataku is such a masochistic boy, it’s impossible for Kurono to resist him.

Doppel!Benimaru x Konro

- Doppel!Benimaru manifests and infiltrates Company 7 while Benimaru is away. He tricks Konro into fucking him.

- Doppel!Benimaru promises to leave Asakusa alone in exchange for Konro fucking him.

Doppel!Konro x Benimaru

- Konro wasn’t there when the Demon Infernal showed up. Benimaru attempts to fight it on his own but the demon gets him on his back and starts ripping off his clothes. Benimaru is too confused to register just what’s happening until he feels white hot searing pain splitting him in half. He’s afraid, too shocked and in too much pain to do anything. In spite of it all, he gets hard. The demon notices and its grin gets wider. He remembers a burning hand jacking him off and feeling liquid fire inside him. Before he blacks out he hears Konro call out his name. When he wakes, the demon is gone and Konro is hurt.

Doppel!Benimaru x Benimaru

- Doppel!Beni captures Konro and forces him to watch while he rapes Benimaru. Beni can’t fight back because he and his Doppelgänger and too evenly matched and Konro would be hurt. All the while his Doppelgänger taunts him and Konro, describing how “his Konro” (the Doppelgänger) used to fuck him - finding all of Benimaru’s sensitive spots easily because he had them too. Tells them how it’s obvious to everyone how in love they are, that everyone suspects they’re together, because Doppel!Konro has been fucking Doppel!Beni’s brains out since he was a teenager. In spite of the situation, Konro ends up getting hard.

- Benimaru is haunted by dreams of hellfire. In them he always sees himself, a version of himself engulfed in flames. He’s had these dreams since the night before he discovered his powers. In them his other self violates him. It hurts. The dreams always feel so real, even in the morning. Nevertheless he chalks them up to just being nightmares until the discovery that Doppelgängers are real.

- They were evenly matched but his Doppelgänger blindsided him. His head is bleeding, Asakusa is burning, he doesn’t know what’s become of Company 7, and his damned Doppelgänger takes time out of his destruction to rape him - just to add insult to injury.

NOTE: If you’re unaware what “mob” means, it’s a doujin term basically meaning their only purpose is to assault whatever canon character. It’s not an OC, self, or reader insert. It can be an individual nameless character or a group of them.

Also yeah you can clearly tell the kinda stuff I’m into and I don’t care. I put all these prompts in one list because laziness.

May or may not update this list as need be! Enjoy the naughty stuff I know y’all really want as well!!

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Posting this for @pilotkinkade​ in response to their recent post made here, regarding concerns about VLD and how it includes white savior complex or potentially smears Allura’s character with that complex. I’m not reblogging directly because this is a long response lol. Thank you pilotkinkade for chatting earlier; I hope you find this post interesting at least and would be curious of your thoughts in return!

---

I do agree with your general sentiments, that VLD takes on a disquieting savior complex throughout a good portion of the show, even more so than in previous Voltron iterations. For me, it feels most apparent in the way that Voltron as an all-powerful machine in VLD is piloted by its second generation.

To compare: In the original OG alliance (Alfor, Zarkon, Trigel, Gyrgan, and Blaytz), multiple major races were represented, functioning as one to save their own collective galaxy from threats. So even among the OG paladins, there were checks and balances (maybe Zarkon had the strongest military skills personally, but Alfor had the alchemy, etc.), with mass racial diversity. This seemed like a pretty innovative and cool addition to the Voltron franchise. The s3 finale also clarifies that, unlike VLD’s second-generation, all of these paladins were leaders of their people. This meant they had political and legal authority/experience that an average warrior or citizen wouldn’t.

By removing that whole structure and retrofitting Voltron with (mostly) a group of unprepared teenagers from a single planet entirely uninvolved in the universal conflict, it created a lot of strange hierarchies...

We see much of the known universe raise up people who had zero prior experience with war, and little to no military or diplomatic training, as well as very little awareness of the traumas or people groups involved in this war. (Shiro is possibly the exception here.) But suddenly, all of these paladins also had unfettered, largely unquestioned access to ultimate power to carry out whatever vision they felt was right in the moment. Because simply “might is right,” we see even highly experienced commanders like Kolivan become castrated in authority compared to Team Voltron. Various alien groups express upset or side-eye Team Voltron’s well-meaning actions but obvious insensitivity to/ignorance of their problems or fears. Even at the paladin-level, a princess trained to fight and lead is subordinated to a boy with zero leadership training whatsoever (which is very different from previous iterations where Keith was actually very competent, more experienced, and wanted to be a leader).

And when Voltron plays the unchecked judge, jury, and executioner across the entire universe, the new paladins as a whole also do not have the political or legal authority the OG pallies did in the boundaries of their own galaxy. The second-gen paladins are not authorities of their people or representative of the people groups affected in the war they’re now leading. The OG pallies built the actual legend of Voltron in less than 28 decaphoebs, clearly going beyond their 5 nations to help others suffering from natural disasters or unknown needs, which might raise some eyebrows perhaps because we don’t know what all that entailed. But while we see that the Voltron machine eventually got celebrated, the OG pallies are never shown personally soaking in some kind of savior celebration…

(Photo ID: Alfor says, “Why I joined up this band of scoundrels, I’ll never know.” Trigel responds, “Because we’re the only band of scoundrels that would have you.” Third screenshot is of the paladins celebrating their alliance win by themselves.)

…compared to second-gen paladins (or some anyway) who pretty clearly soak in the love and prestige they’ve received based off the historical and legendary precedence of the OG alliance’s work:

(Photo IDs: Lance taking selfies with aliens excited to be around paladins. A second screenshot of Lance daydreaming about being a universal savior, stomping on Zarkon, planting a flag to mark ownership, and having Allura stare up at him in worship.)

In fact, a lot of the pro-Voltron war propaganda relies heavily more on recreating the legend already built for them, than on the actual competency or experience of the current paladins:

(Photo ID: Pidge complains about the war propaganda scripts, “This isn’t even factually accurate.” Coran replies, “Well, this is the Legend of Voltron, not the documentary of Voltron.”)

On that note, we even see the scripts reverse who is actually the most competent or capable of performing.

(Photo ID: Coran says, “Ladies and gentle-aliens, bear witness as the Paladins of Voltron attack Zarkon’s base to save the helpless Princess Allura!”)

Coran’s script, however well-meant, pretty massively infantilizes Allura as someone who needs to be saved by an external force, rather than mentioning her as someone who is an active and critical ally of the Voltron paladins in this war.

Unlike Coran’s script, Princess Allura isn’t helpless. In terms of the second-generation paladins, she’s has the most war-time experience, and is also the one that the paladins lean on constantly to create a meaningful connection with other people groups who are otherwise hesitant about Voltron.

(Photo ID: Allura speaks to the Balmeran people, “Balmerans, this is Princess Allura. You don’t know me, but I am here to help. I know what it’s like to watch your home planet die.”)

Allura is the successor to the Altean monarchy and a direct victim of the OG galaxy wars. So unlike other second-gen paladins, she has some semblance of legal/political authority that she was actively trained for, as well as personal skin in the game. She is ultimately the only paladin who has experienced a mass omnicide of her home and people, similar to other victims of the Galra regime. She also still accepts the authority of her father, whose AI tells her in season 1 to be prepared to sacrifice everything to undo his mistakes.

We see Allura from that point onward functioning under that directive from her father and king—to sacrifice everything she has to end Zarkon’s regime. One could potentially make the argument that, within this structure, Allura might suffer from a certain subset of “white knight syndrome,” in which one feels they’re worthless if they’re not sacrificing for others. If I have my facts right, it’s a different psychological state from white savior complex (in which I define white savior complex as “when someone outside the issue at hand barges in to make a change that may or may not benefit the recipient, simply to make themselves feel better or appear useful, without regard to the recipient’s wishes or real needs”). But I feel even the comparison of “white knight syndrome” gets dicey. Because Allura is shown as acting happy without necessarily sacrificing things (in fact, she acts progressively depressed s7-s8, the more she has to give up intrinsic things about herself or her identity). But when Allura chooses to assist or sacrifice, the sacrifice she makes has a very relevant and functional impact for the people she helps.

In season 1, she chooses to sacrifice herself to save Shiro. Shiro was, at that time, the Black Paladin and leader of Voltron, so Allura saw herself as functionally the less important of the two to save since she did not pilot the universe’s only weapon against Zarkon.

With the Balmera, she similarly chooses to act because the Balmerans themselves acknowledge they are entirely out of options, and also because the Balmerans (and the Balmera itself) accept her help she offers. At this point in time, she has already established a deep personal connection with them by virtue of their shared trauma of losing their home planets.

(Photo IDs: Shay says, “We’re lost! All are trapped with no chance for escape!” Allura says, “We can’t give up.” Shay responds, “But what can be done?” The group realizes the Balmera is regenerating beneath the ship, and Shay wonders why. Allura says, “The Castle!”)

Here, Allura assumes that the Castle—which is powered by a Balmeran crystal itself—could be regenerating the Balmera. But a Balmeran elder corrects her:

(Photo ID: A Balmeran elder says, “Not just the Castle, but you, as well.”)

So Allura did not even recognize at first that she was in any way a part of the solution to the Balmera regenerating.

Regarding the Balmera act itself, I’m not sure it satisfies the conditions for a white savior complex? I’m curious about your thoughts here, because I guess I saw it happening differently, from a witchcraft perspective...

We know from both Coran and Shay that originally, Alteans were one of the historical races who sacrificed some of their own energy to replenish the Balmera when seeking a crystal:

(Photo ID: Coran saying, “In the days of old, when Alteans were given the gift of crystals from a Balmera, we would repay its sacrifice by performing a ceremony. A sacred Altean would re-infuse the Balmera with quintessence. In this way, we had a symbiotic relationship.”)

We see that Balmerans were a voluntary part of this energy exchange by virtue of their unique connective powers (which is likely why we see them kneeling and activating said powers during these ceremonies).

Shay herself seems to indicate she is highly aware of these old ceremonies:

(Photo ID: Rax says, “Everyone comes to Balmera and takes, but gives nothing in return!” Shay says, “In the past, those who took the Balmera’s crystals would replenish her with energy. It was an equal exchange.”)

Shay agrees that the ceremony itself involves a sacred exchange of life force.

So I would argue that in this case, the Balmerans are not kneeling to Allura specifically or worshiping someone—it seems to be just the imagery associated with magical spells/magical transfers (where one object in the middle is the main conduit/focal point, and the other objects surrounding help to create and sustain the spell/protective barrier, etc).

One of the basic practices in real-world witchcraft is casting a magic/ritual circle. The circle creates a space where the spell, ritual, or form of protection can be performed. Forgive the stock image, but here’s just a super basic example:

(Photo ID: A magic circle in the form of a pentagram, with a candle in the middle, compared to a screenshot of 5 Balmerans surrounding Allura in the form of a pentacle, creating a sacred space with Allura glowing in the center.)

The five points in particular mimic standard pentacle-based ritual circles designed to create a sacred space of some kind. We do see various configurations of witchcraft imagery used in other instances throughout the show, such as when the druids have to help Haggar sustain her spells:

(Photo ID: Haggar centered in a magic circle, surrounded by druids helping her complete the ritual. Haggar kneels against the glowing symbols to complete the ritual.)

I think, similar to the druids that Haggar relied upon to help her complete a spell, it can be argued that the Balmerans were an active part of the regeneration spell with Allura. We see across the entire Balmera that they magically connect to help sustain the energy transfer, because it’s a planet-wide, massive undertaking:

(Photo ID: Balmerans activating their connection to the Balmera in the middle of the sacred ceremony to regenerate the Balmera.)

To me, it felt like the Balmerans were necessary to complete this ceremony--without their agreement to this energy exchange, and without them connecting to the Balmera to assist the transfer, Allura might not have been able to connect her life force and transfer power to the whole planet.

And to complete the ceremony, Allura herself kneels as well, just as Haggar did and just as the Balmerans around her do, in connection with the Balmera:

(Photo ID: Allura kneeling alongside Balmerans to complete the ritual.)

(Which means she’s technically kneeling to at least three other Balmerans in front of her.)

So I think the kneeling imagery would not correlate to some white savior complex event as suggested.

One other thought I had is that I feel help from a “white savior” is often haphazard and pushed onto recipients regardless of their thoughts or real needs. In comparison, we know that the Balmerans were willing to try this spell with Allura and accepted her idea of attempting the ancient ceremony. The only person who expressed hesitancy is Coran, who warns Allura that this attempt could kill her.

(Photo ID: Coran warns Allura, “To heal an entire planet, it could take more energy than you possess.”)

I do think it could again be argued that Allura seriously undermines her own value and worth in an attempt to help everyone, no matter the cost, which potentially gets more into white knight syndrome born out of trauma than white savior complex born out of privilege. She snaps back at Coran for being concerned about her well-being, and then she proceeds to enact the ceremony, not knowing for sure whether she’d live or die. But Allura also knows that her life force is uniquely tied to Voltron and that she is the only one with this kind of connection to the Castle ship’s battle-class Balmera crystal—all of this makes her a very powerful capacitor in a lot of ways. Which is why she looks like this after the ceremony:

(Photo ID: Allura having collapsed in Shay’s arms after regenerating the Balmera, but her physical features are not otherwise affected.)

And not like this:

(Photo ID: A screenshot of an Altean named Petrulius from season 6, whose features are distorted after having had the life/quintessence sucked out of him.)

So to me, it seemed that Allura was enacting an ages-old, magical ceremony approved by and wanted by the Balmerans—simply on a scale that no one had ever before attempted. And it’s likely that no one else would or could attempt it, because Allura is the single character in the entire universe whose personal life force is tied to Voltron’s regenerative energy (by virtue of Alfor’s alchemy on her as mentioned in episode 1). It’s an even deeper tie to the whole machine than the transient bond between paladin and lion. No other Balmeran or Galran or Altean had that kind of tie in their life force. Likely, even Alfor would have died if he’d attempted this act himself without being connected to an infinite power source.

And after Allura saves the Balmera with assistance from Balmerans, we also do not see her like this with the Balmeran people:

(Photo ID: Lance soaking up a savior fantasy as previously mentioned in this meta.)

Instead, post-Balmera resurrection, we see it’s actually not even the Balmerans themselves who thank Allura. The Balmerans simply convey the will of the Balmera, which Allura cannot hear:

(Photo ID: A Balmeran says to Allura, “Yes. The Balmera lives. It thanks you.”)

So backing up for a second, I do think there are much larger issues happening in the narrative with Voltron itself, with the unequal power dynamics of having young, inexperienced people from a single planet make and enact all the big universal decisions. But in the instance with the Balmera, it seemed like Allura was openly welcomed to help save the planet, using magical ceremonies as approved by the Balmerans themselves for millennia, and that the Balmerans were not passive in those ceremonies but a necessary part of their success.  

In general, Allura doesn’t seem to embody the “white savior complex” vibe at all to me, unlike some others in the show. Even in season 8, when Allura planned to make The Really Big Sacrifice, she asked her team to keep her actions a secret. She literally didn’t care for any respect or acknowledgment or prestige in exchange for sacrificing her life. She was doing what needed to be done because she was, once again, one of the few who could even perform at that level:

(Photo ID: Shiro says to Allura, “Most of them won’t know the sacrifice you made so they could live.” Allura replies, “And they’ll never need to.”)

(As an aside, I would argue that it was entirely unnecessary that the narrative would demand Allura sacrifice herself at all when she was literally standing in the universe’s seat of power alongside other powerful beings like her own father or the billions of other magic-wielding dead people, because apparently the lines between life and death blur in that space.)

(I also think there are some questionable “master race” vibes in the VLD universe in general, given that it forcefully pushes, even against the wishes of Alteans themselves, that Alteans are the only ones who can wield the big power to do big things. It’s clear that other groups and beings can wield magical abilities, but the larger narrative very oddly pins the “purest quintessence/bluest blood” back on Alteans time and time again in later seasons, leaving Allura in basically a no-win, no-help-available situation until other Alteans come along.) 

So yeah, I hope something in this meta might help settle some concerns about Allura as a representation of white savior complex? Or at least that this would open conversation for further discussion about what could be done in future iterations to avoid that messaging. Because yeah, I agree with you that the unquestioned savior complexes in this show are a topic that can and should be discussed! And also that, despite early world-building to suggest otherwise, the narrative especially in s6-s8 pushes that Alteans have a “purer/more alive” life force compared to any other race or form. Which is just…hm. Like, the master race vibes of all that are weird and definitely not even inherent to the Voltron franchise. (In previous iterations, humans, Galrans/Drule, and Alteans could all perform incredible levels of magic. For example, in Dynamite Voltron, Keith, Lotor, and Lotor’s siblings had all been taught magic.)

There’s definitely some weird images and unnatural power dynamics in VLD at times. It seems like more often than not, the narrative does strive to make Allura sacrificing something the only viable resort for anyone ever. In those circumstances, I’m just not convinced that she herself functions as an embodiment of white savior complex, by virtue of her behavior in those instances. But it’s definitely weird that the narrative places so much weight on her when the larger Team Voltron narrative is supposed to be about found family and strength in unity.

(If you read this far, thank you! Sorry I’m not succinct.) 

[musette22]

minnie, do you think seb decorates his apartment with Christmas stuff? and if he does, does chris help him?*-*

Whoaaa, you guys are in my brain!! It just so happens that last night’s falling asleep Evanstan fantasy was basically about this lol. I was going to keep this short but as usual I failed, so I‘m going to put most of it under the keep reading tag, so I won’t clog up everyone’s dash.

So, imagine that at an undetermined point in time, in early December, Chris happens to be in New York, and he calls Sebastian to see if he has time to go for a coffee or grab a bite to eat. They haven’t seen each other in a while, and Chris- well, he misses Sebastian. Seb immediately agrees, telling Chris that he didn’t really have any plans today anyway, except for getting a Christmas tree, but that can wait. But Chris, since he’s somewhat of a Christmas fanatic, enthusiastically tells Sebastian that they can still do that, they can go get Seb a tree, he’ll just come with him! Sebastian laughs and goes, “Well, if you’re sure...” and gives Chris the address of a vendor near his apartment, telling him to meet him there in thirty minutes.  

Sebastian is already there when Chris arrives, and they greet each other with a hug. 

“I like your coat,” Sebastian smiles, gently tugging on the lapels of Chris’s navy winter coat.

“Oh thanks, I like your hat. It looks- cute,” Chris blurts out, and then bites his tongue, because cute? 

Sebastian just laughs in that way that makes his nose crinkle, and mischievously asks, “Cute, huh?”

“Yeah, well, it is, it’s a nice hat, with the.. the cable knit...” Chris splutters, hoping Sebastian will blame his blush on the cold. 

When they’re done flirting-but-pretending-their-not-flirting, they go to pick out a  tree. Chris interrogates the vendor about whether or not the type of tree Sebastian likes sheds a lot, and Sebastian looks on with amusement, eventually interrupting with a gently hand on Chris’s upper arm. When Sebastian pays for his tree, the vendor asks him if they need it to be delivered, or if “you and your partner can handle it yourselves?” 

Sebastian’s eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say, “Oh, we’re n-”, but Chris interrupts with a “We’ve got it, but thank you,” giving the man a smile. 

The look Sebastian shoots him is slightly surprised but not offended, thank god, and he doesn’t say anything. When they set off towards Sebastian’s place, Chris insists on carrying the heavier end of the tree, which makes Sebastian joke, “Oh, you think you’re so much stronger than me, huh?” Chris chokes on thin air and almost falls over himself to ensure Sebastian that’s not the case, he didn’t mean that Seb couldn’t...! - but Seb just laughs and goes, “Relax, Chris. I’m just messing with you. Thanks for helping me with this.”

It’s a good thing they’re both wearing gloves, and that Seb’s apartment is just a few blocks away, because the tree might be pretty, but it’s also prickly and a lot heavier than is looks. Chris heaves a sigh of relief once they get it inside Sebastian’s apartment building, into the lifts, and finally into Sebastian’s home. They find a nice spot for the tree, near the window, and then they take off their hats and scarves and coats, Chris plopping down on Sebastian’s chair while Seb goes into the kitchen to fetch them something to drink. He tells Chris he’s got mulled wine if he wants some, which he got especially for the occasion. When Chris frowns and asks him if he was going to drink it by himself, Sebastian confesses he’d been planning on getting his tree and decorating it with his friend Deirdre, but that he’d cancelled their plans when Chris called. Chris immediately starts apologizing for interfering with Sebastian’s plans, but Seb assures him it’s fine, he’d seen Deirdre just last week.

“I just... thought it would be nice to spend some time with you, you know?” Sebastian says, turning away from Chris to fidget with a pillow, fluffing it up and putting it back on his blue armchair. Chris thinks he Sebastian might be blush a little, but he can’t be sure.

“I could’ve just joined you and Deirdre, though, “ Chris insists. “I wouldn’t have minded.” 

“Yeah, I know, but... I kinda wanted it to be just the two of us.” This time, Sebastian shoots him a small smile, almost embarrassed.

“Oh,” Chris says, his heart skipping several beats in his chest. “That’s... yeah. It is nice.”

They smile at each other bashfully, and then Sebastian quickly goes to get them their drinks and puts on some old-timey Christmas songs. He already took out his box of Christmas decorations earlier that morning, and for the next half hour, the two of them busy themselves decorating the tree with all kinds of shiny gold and red baubles, sparkling tinsel, and a gold star on the top. There’s even a Captain America ornament, painted red white and blue like the shield, which a fan once gave to Sebastian at a con. Chris feels strangely pleased when he sees it and takes it upon himself to hang the ornament in the tree, giving it a place of honor at the front, near the top. When he turns around, he finds Sebastian looking at him with a strange look on his face. From where Chris is standing, his eyes look almost a little glossy. 

“Hey, you okay?” Chris asks, concerned.

Sebastian nods, swallows. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just...” He hesitates, before taking a breath and finishing, “It’s just really good to see you again.” 

Oh, Chris thinks, almost melting into a puddle right there and then. “I know,” he breathes, unconsciously taking a step closer. “I- I’ve missed you.” 

“Me too,” Sebastian says, too quickly. 

Chris doesn’t let himself think about it too hard when he opens his arms and says, “C’mere,” beckoning Sebastian closer. 

Sebastian comes immediately, fitting himself against Chris’s chest and winding his arms around his waist, face buried in his shoulder. They stand there like that for a long time, much longer than a hug between friends usually lasts for, but Chris can’t bring himself to pull away. When the music changes and Sinatra’s ‘White Christmas’ starts to play, Chris gently begins to rock them back and forth, until they’re swaying, almost dancing, still wrapped up in each other while the gentle notes drift through the air like snowflakes, all around them. 

Finally, Sebastian stirs, slowly lifting his head from Chris’s chest to meet his eyes, and Chris’s heart swells in his chest when he sees his own feelings, feelings he’s been trying to suppress for too long now, reflected back at him. They look at each other silently for a minute, saying without words what they should’ve said years ago. 

“I’m going to kiss you now,” Chris murmurs finally, already starting to lean in.  

Sebastian’s breathy “Please” gets lost somewhere between his lips and Chris’s lips, in the kiss they’ve both dreamed about too many times to count, but which surpasses anything they could’ve imagined. 

🎄💖🎄💖🎄💖

[seokiloquy]

The Language of Flowers Pt 3 - Tsukishima Kei

AU:  Gang/Organized Crime  

Requested (kind of? multiple people + myself lol) 

Tags/Warnings: FEM! Reader, innuendos, mild swearing, mild (ish?) violent descriptions/use of guns 

*Note on the poem* I found this on Google and tried to find out who wrote it but I couldn’t. So, if you recognize this and know who wrote, please let me know so that I can give credit. Also, I added an “and” :)

Word Count: 16k+

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3

Love’s Flower

It started with a budding friendship between two lonely souls, 

And a cautious relationship of two former foes. 

The blossoming of love’s flower covered in delicate thorns. 

We nurtured and tended it and it soon grew

Into a blossom of love sweet and true. 

My precious flower, I am so blessed that I found you.

“Again,” said Tsukishima. 

Padded mats covered the practice room floor, providing a thin layer of protection from the hard ground below. (Y/N) groaned and rubbed their eyes before melting into the ready stance that Tsukishima had taught her. Across from her, Hinata stood head-to-toe in protective gear and a pair of punching mitts in front of him. Both of them were panting heavily as sweat dripped down their foreheads. They’ve been at this for hours. 

It had been four months since (Y/N) had found out about Tsukishima’s leadership of the Karasuno gang and the incident happened—Tsukishima was shot and (Y/N) was injured. 

During that time, she would come over each week, give him flowers, and then he would make her train for a bit—teaching her to defend herself and ways to fight back if necessary. (Y/N) had been a little apprehensive for Tsukishima to even train her, especially during his recovery, so they started small. 

Most of the time, it would just be her, Tsukishima (sitting on a chair), and a punching bag; other times they were joined by another Karasuno member so that she could practise against another person. 

Today, Hinata had drawn the short straw, but even so, anyone who was curious came to watch. Then, each time after training, without fail, she would fuss over Tsukishima for getting out of bed for too long. (Y/N) tried to hold back as he got better, but she would remind him that he was still recovering; not just physically, but mentally too. (Y/N) didn’t care that he had gotten shot before or had suffered the worst injuries, it would still take a toll on him over time whether he believed it or not. The least she could do was protect him in her own way.

(Y/N) had been a ball of fire at that time. While Sawamura and Ennoshita dealt with most of the business end of Tsukishima’s life, she made sure everyone rested and ate in her time of taking care of Tsukishima.

Even now, he was sitting down now per (Y/N)’s request. (He was always reluctant, but she had told him that if he didn’t ‘sit his ass in that chair’ she would leave). The Karasuno members took much joy in that.

They held off going into in-depth conversations while Tsukishima was still recovering; however, they did decide earlier on that both of them wanted to continue their relationship. It was one of the first things they spoke about.

Then, once he was out of the wheelchair, he and (Y/N) spent a lot of time talking about their relationship. Some were short, like whether or not she wanted to know about what they did in full—that was a hard no on her end, except if it concerned her directly (which she didn’t think would happen)—and some were much longer and still ongoing, like the one they had about safety—that one led to a huge argument.

Despite that argument, (Y/N) liked the training she was being put through. She felt stronger and more sure of herself. In a way, she was thankful for the training, but she was definitely not letting Tsukishima know that; though, a part of her felt like Tsukishima already knew that, the way he did with most things. 

(Y/N) also knew that she was getting pretty good at it regardless of Tsukishima’s grunts and hums of disapproval. Every now and then, when she caught a glimpse of him, there would be a faint smile playing on his lips—the one where if you were to blink, you’d miss it. 

“This seems like a cruel and unusual punishment,” Hinata mumbled, but slipped on the punching mitts and fell into a back stance, bracing himself.

(Y/N) ran through the routine one more time. Hinata was a lot stronger than he looked, small but packed a powerful punch and deflected her hits with ease. 

“Good,” Tsukishima announced, standing up and stepping onto the mat. 

(Y/N) made a face. She would have believed his claims more if she didn’t notice the little limp in his step and the flinch in his face when he stood up. 

(Y/N) pushed her feelings aside and looked around. She saw hints of pride on the other Karasuno members faces. She had grown close and comfortable to the group within the few months, learning their names slowly and small personal things about them. They were the ones who dropped her off and picked her up at her flower shop; and the ones who were stationed outside of said flower shop, which was an entire other argument between (Y/N) and Tsukishima. 

At first, she was angry at him for assuming that she needed any form of protection. She had lived by herself for a while now and nothing bad happened. (Y/N) didn’t know why Tsukishima heavily insisted upon it and every time she would ask, he would give half-answers. Ones that were true, but never gave the full information.  

But she also saw how much it relaxed Tsukishima once she—begrudgingly—agreed to both the training and the Karasuno members were trailing her. It was like a weight she couldn’t see was lifted off his shoulders. This was something that I could sacrifice, (Y/N) thought, this was something that I could control that kept everyone a little safer. 

That also led to the Karasuno members spending a lot of time in her shop, cleaning up and organizing the flowers while they were there. Most of the time, they asked her for things to do like they weren’t used to sitting still. (Y/N) didn’t mind having them around. Maybe she should ask them to help repaint the shop.

Everyone around her had come to love flowers, and she had come to love everyone around her.

Tsukishima was by her side in a moment. He looked at her fondly and reached up to tuck some loose hair behind her ear. He was hesitant to show affections like this in front of Karasuno, but as their relationship grew, he seemed to let his guard down and do it almost automatically. “You did well, (Y/N).” 

(Y/N) unconsciously wrapped an arm around his waist. She felt the subtle lean of his weight and compressed a smile. 

“Hey!” Hinata protested, taking off his protective gear. “Why don’t you ever tell me that when I train! I never got my hair tucked behind my ear with affection when I did well.” 

(Y/N) laughed. 

Tsukishima rolled his eyes and turned his attention back on (Y/N). “Are you going to stay for a bit? We can order food.” 

“She gets food too?” Hinata exclaimed, throwing down his gear dramatically. “Unfair.”

(Y/N) looked over at Hinata and smiled. “It’s food for everyone.” She looked pointedly at Tsukishima. “Right, Kei?” 

Tsukishima huffed and tugged on a piece of (Y/N)’s hair. “I guess.” 

“Oh,” she added, “thank you for helping me Hinata.” 

Hinata beamed and patted his chest proudly. “Anytime (Y/N)!” 

“Do you want to shower before we eat? You can use the one in my room if you want,” Tsukishima said. 

(Y/N) smirked and arched an eyebrow. “Why? Want to join me?” 

Tsukishima froze, heat rising to his cheeks. His mouth kept opening and closing like a computer glitching. 

“I like it when you’re here, (Y/N),” said Kageyama, coming to join their little group in the center of the mats. He crossed his arms and had a smug look on his face. The semi-crowd around them had dispersed and everyone went to do their own things, taking up their own training. “When you’re here, Tsukishima is always a little speechless. It’s amusing.” 

Regaining his composure, Tsukishima grumbled, “You’ve been spending too much time with them, (Y/N). They’re bad influences.” 

(Y/N) giggled. She leaned into Tsukishima ever so slightly, resting her head against his arm. “I’m just joking Kei. And yes, I would like to shower.” She nudged him in the direction of the door. “Walk me?” 

She twisted back just enough to high five Kageyama before walking off with Tsukishima through the door. He had pulled away from her and interlocked their hands instead. 

Though she had been in and out of the building for a couple of months, (Y/N) still got confused in the hallways; someone always had to lead her to the correct doors, exits, and entrances. Every turn looked the same and all the doors were unmarked. The walls were a dull off-white colour that made (Y/N) frown whenever she looked around. The flowers that used to line the hallways died once Tsukishima got injured and couldn't tend to them.  Maybe she should teach the other members some flower etiquette and caretaking. 

“Can I put flowers in the halls? I keep getting lost….” she asked. It would add some much-needed colour to the place and mark the hallways like landmarks. 

Tsukishima smiled. “You can do whatever you’d like.” 

“Great!” she said, turning the corner with Tsukishima, which led to a dead-end with an elevator. Tsukishima hit the up button. “I was thinking of putting red roses that lead to the elevators and hallways that lead up to your room. Oh! And maybe some sunflowers near the common room. It’s always so dark in there. I’ll need tables or more podiums—” 

Tsukishima laughed, his shoulders shaking as he did. 

She frowned. “Why are you laughing?” 

He shook his head, grinning brightly like sunflowers. “I just—I really love listening to you talk. It’s like music.” 

(Y/N) looked away, heat rising to their cheeks, as the elevator doors opened. He led her inside and hit the button to the top floor. Once the door closed, he turned so that he was facing her, leaving barely any space between them.

“Hi,” she said. 

“Hi.” 

“You shouldn’t be walking.” 

He smiled. “I shouldn’t?” 

“Yes. I read that if you don’t rest properly during your recovery, then you could worsen your injuries and—”

“(Y/N),” he said gently, “we talked about this.” 

She let out a puff of annoyance. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.” 

Tsukishima raised his hand and brushed her cheek gently with the back of his fingers. He traced her jaw down to her chin and placed two fingers under it, tilting it up slowly. “I don’t want you to get hurt, ever.”

(Y/N) closed her eyes. She had seen him train before. He fought with full force, fiercely like a lion. She had seen him knock someone to the ground with little force—the night they had met. And she had no doubt he was capable of more, more that she didn’t want to know and couldn’t imagine. That was another conversation they avoided, one that she never wanted to bring up. 

She couldn’t see Tsukishima, the one in front of her, the one that held her hand, the one who whispered bad jokes in her ear and wanted to know more about flowers, hurt anyone. It was the only part of herself where she allowed such ignorance.

“You shouldn’t tease me in front of everyone,” he said in a voice low. 

“Really?” (Y/N) smirked, moving closer so they were touching. His heart pounded against her chest. She could feel the rise and fall of his breath. “I thought you said I could do whatever I’d like.”

Tsukishima matched her smirk. “Maybe we should renegotiate?” 

Before she could answer, Tsukishima lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers gently, as if he was asking for permission to kiss her. In a quick motion, (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips fully against his. 

He smiled into the kiss as he slid his arms around her, bringing her closer and holding her tighter. His lips were soft against her own. (Y/N) moved her hand to cup his cheek. She heard the ding of the elevator and was about to pull away, but Tsukishima only turned his head to deepen the kiss, his hand slipping down to her waist. (Y/N)’s hand slid up into his hair. 

Someone cleared their throat loudly. 

(Y/N) jumped back, her face burning. Tsukishima remained composed, though, she noted, a light dusting of pink rested on his cheeks. 

(Y/N) turned and saw a half-amused, half-embarrassed Sawamura on the other side of the elevator holding a file. 

“Who’s speechless now?” Tsukishima whispered in her ear. 

She glared at him. “Shut up.” 

Sawamura cleared his throat again. “Sorry to, uh, interrupt. But I need to borrow Tsukishima.” 

(Y/N) stepped out of the elevator and gestured for him to take her place.

“You know your way there right?” Tsukishima asked, straightening out his glasses that had become skewed. “And you can add all the flowers or podiums you like, (Y/N), anywhere.” 

She clicked her tongue and then smiled. “I guess I’ll have to make do without you in the shower.” 

Sawamura’s eyebrows shot up but he didn’t say anything.

The corner of Tsukishima’s lips tugged up. “Wait for me in the room after your shower, okay? I won’t be long. I’ll take you to your store and we can look for flowers to bring here.” 

“Take your time,” she said. “I’ll wait for you.” 

“Don’t,” Tsukishima said once the elevator door closed. 

Sawamura smirked and pressed an elevator button. “I didn’t say anything.” 

He handed Tsukishima the file wordlessly. Tsukishima had sent Sawamura to gather information about the shooting three months ago. Random shootings didn’t just happen, not since Tsukishima had become the leader of Karasuno. 

The blond opened the file. 

“It took some time, but we found the car,” Sawamura said looking forward, crossing his arms. Tsukishima noticed he did that a lot, like an automatic defensive pose. “It was abandoned in another prefecture, completely trashed, no license plate either. Just a one-use type thing. No way to trace who it belonged to. I double-checked with Nishinoya and he thought the same thing I did.” 

“That it belongs to her?” 

Sawamura sighed. “There’s no way to prove it, but yeah, we think so.” 

Tsukishima nodded. “Yamaguchi was right then.” 

Sawamura barked out a laugh. “The kid knows his stuff. It’s a wonder how he’s still alive.” 

“He’s only alive because she wants him to be. The moment that stops…” 

“I know.” The light tone faded out of Sawamura’s voice. He didn’t like the situation any more than Tsukishima did. Though he was one of the last members to join, Sawamura had become one of Tsukishima’s most trusted people. Tsukishima didn’t realize how much he relied on him until one day when Sawamura was injured and took some time to heal. That was the most hectic two weeks of his life since becoming a leader.

Sawamura cocked his head to the side as the elevator opened. The two stepped out and headed toward the common room. “From what you told me about her, Yamaguchi’s former boss, I think you should tell (Y/N).” 

Tsukishima gritted his teeth. “It doesn’t concern her.” 

Sawamura pivoted so that he was standing in front of Tsukishima. They were just in front of the common room doors. Tsukishima could hear Nishinoya and Hinata’s loud voices carry through the hallway. “I think you’re wrong.” 

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. “Watch yourself Daichi.” 

“Kei. You have a personal connection to this person. The person who knew where you and (Y/N) had your date, the person who killed Yamaguchi’s sister,” Sawamura shot back. His voice was unwavering against Tsukishima.

“What’s your point?” 

“How is what she did any different from how you’re retaliating against her? Or how Yamaguchi wants revenge and how we’re helping him achieve it,” he continued. “The easiest path to revenge is through the people they care about and that includes the person who is currently taking a shower in your room. It may not concern her now, but it will eventually.” 

Tsukishima bit his tongue.

“You see it, don’t you? Somehow, they are watching what you do, Tsukishima, and who do you spend all your free time with?” Sawamura paused and took a breath. “I have a bad feeling about it and I haven’t been wrong before, you know that.”

“I’m not telling you this to be an ass, okay?” Sawamura sighed. “I’m telling you this because you seem almost in denial about everything. I’m telling you this because (Y/N) deserves to know what she’s getting into. Fully. Not just the pretty little things.” 

A silence filled the hallway. Tsukishima took a deep breath. He had promised not to lie to her, not to keep secrets and to tell her when things involved her. He had never broken a promise before and he wasn’t going to start with (Y/N). 

It would be a tough conversation. He knew that once he told her, he would have to face all that he feared; the blood on his hands, the things he had to do and was never proud of. 

Tsukishima couldn’t imagine how (Y/N) would react. A part of him didn’t want to tell her, to lie to her for the rest of his life, to keep her as far away from this as possible. It would be wrong if it began to involve her. Would he be able to live with himself if he didn’t tell?

“I’ll tell her the moment her name comes up,” he agreed.

“Good.” Sawamura nodded and placed a hand on the door handle. “What do we do now, boss?” 

Tsukishima straightened his back. “What we always do. We plan and stay alive. You say they’re watching me? Maybe we should give them something to watch.” 

Sawamura chuckled and patted Tsukishima on the shoulder. 

“You really care about her don’t you?” said Sawamura softly. He turned back and gave Tsukishima a small half-smile before opening the door and stepping through it to join the rest of the members. 

Tsukishima watched as he entered the room. The Karasuno members smiled at Sawamura and gathered in their usual way, around the table that sat in the center of the room.  The room fell hushed but welcoming and warm. They respected him and he respected them.

“More than anything,” he whispered and stepped through the door.

Yamaguchi felt a lot more scared than he wanted to be.

The sad part was that he woke up that morning feeling pretty good. He had been left alone for the past couple days and was able to catch up on school work and visit his sister’s grave—the place where he had buried her ern, beside her favourite tree in the park they used to play in as children. 

Tsukishima was warming up to him too; Yamaguchi could feel it. Tsukishima was never unkind, but he looked at Yamaguchi as if he had committed a crime and was kept at a distance. If only he could find out what that was about, then he’d be good to go.

The meeting they had three months ago lasted hours. Tsukishima had questioned and questioned him until his throat hurt from talking so much. Sure, Yamaguchi was a traitor, spilling the secrets he knew of his former gang, but he really couldn’t give two shits about it. 

His sister was dead. He knew who did it. And he couldn’t do anything about it. 

But Tsukishima could. 

He even offered Yamaguchi to stay at Karasuno’s Headquarters until things settled down, somewhere far away from the heart of the building, but still a safe and warm place. However, he had wanted to stay as close to his apartment for as long as he could. Luckily, the neighbour next to him allowed him to sleep on their couch until the lease was up. She was a nice old lady that had known the both of them since they moved in. She didn’t know the details, one that his sister was found dead in their apartment. 

Yamaguchi thought that he could still live there, his sister loved this place even if it was just the two of them. But it felt haunted. He couldn’t sleep in his room, wake up and then walk into the living room where he found his sister. 

He closed his eyes. He should have listened to her when she told him not to take the job. 

It still didn’t feel real. Sometimes he would sit on his neighbour's couch and found himself looking at the door expectantly like his sister would walk through the door with ice cream in hand. 

Yamaguchi had felt grief before, and it wasn’t something he expected to feel in a long time. So, he put all his energy into the one thing he wanted: revenge. 

The day took a steady decline when he opened the door that afternoon and saw a bouquet of flowers wrapped in a pale yellow paper with a letter neatly placed on top of it. Yamaguchi hesitated. How long have they been there? He hadn’t opened his door since yesterday night. That left more than 12 hours open for someone to place them. 

He grabbed his keys off the table near his door and shoved on a pair of shoes. Yamaguchi looked from left to right slowly, in case it was a fresh placement. 

He picked up the flowers. They were dark purple, almost black in the centre with light green specks stemming out from it. The dark purple travelled to the edges of the petal-like veins of blood as the petal itself until it gradually turned lighter, becoming a pure white. 

Yamaguchi tucked the flowers carefully between his elbow and chest and opened the letter. 

Dearest Yamaguchi, 

I hear you’ve found a new group to give your talents to. Exciting. I wonder how long you’ll stay with them. You weren’t with us that very long either, so maybe you weren’t meant to stay with anyone. A little birdy has told me that you’ve been spilling our secrets. I guess it runs in the family. 

But go ahead. Tell them everything you know. It doesn’t matter much to me. You’ve never known much.

I hope you have fun running around for Kei. How is that bastard? Well? Breathing? Always doing the same thing?

How am I, you ask? I’ve spent a lot of time thinking, planning. Maybe that was one of his traits that has rubbed off on me. Maybe another would be my liking towards flowers. There's beautiful poetry to them, don’t you think? Some mean happiness and love while others are dangerous and resentful. 

Anyways, I hope you find something new in your life. We both know that you don’t have much at this moment because…Well, you already know, don’t you? Would it hurt if I said it? 

Love always, 

Yukiji

P.S. The flowers aren’t as pretty as the girl who wraps them. Aren’t I right, Kei? 

“It came with these,” Yamaguchi said through the silence. He held up the flowers. 

When Yamaguchi had read the letter outside his apartment, it jarred him. Yukiji was mocking him, mocking his sister’s death. Mocking Karasuno and Tsukishima.

The same shattering silence and uneasy feeling that Yamaguchi had felt continued into the room once Sawamura finished reading the letter out loud to Karasuno. Everyone in the room stared at Tsukishima, ready to do anything at his word, but Tsukishima only looked at the flowers in Yamaguchi’s hand. 

Yamaguchi eyed Tsukishima weirdly. His hands were clenched into fists by his sides and his jaw was tight. A fire burned in his eyes.

Without a word, Tsukishma walked over to Yamaguchi and asked for the flowers in his hand. Tsukishima turned them over delicately. 

“Are those from…?” Nishinoya hesitated and swallowed. “Are those—” 

“Yes,” Tsukishima said absentmindedly. He took the thin wrapping paper between his fingers. “It’s from (Y/N)’s shop.” 

“Who?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Do you think she knew?” Hinata asked. His voice had gone low and his eyes grew dark. “All the times I’ve been at (Y/N)’s store, Yukiji has never been there.” 

The Karasuno members nodded in agreement.  

“When did (Y/N) wrap the flowers? This week? This morning?” said Kageyama, glaring at no one in particular. 

“I don’t know,” Tsukishima whispered. 

“Does (Y/N) know who Yukiji is?” Azumane said, looking nervously between Tsukishima and the flowers. 

Sawamura glanced at Tsukishima from the corner of his eye. “She doesn’t. . .” 

Tsukishima shoved the bouquet back into Yamaguchi’s hands and took the letter from Sawamura. “Excuse me,” he said, and then dashed out the door. 

Yamaguchi looked around wildly. Everyone seemed on edge, jittery like they didn’t feel safe. He was used to Karasuno’s secrets being kept from him. He would still need to do a lot to gain their trust, but if this (Y/N)-person had something to do with Yukiji and his sister’s death, then he needed to know.  

That was a part of Yamaguchi’s and Tsukishima’s deal. Any information that could prove that Yukiji had murdered his sister—not that Yamaguchi needed proof it was her, he knew it was, he wanted her to admit it—would go through him as well. 

And yet, everyone seemed to know something that Yamaguchi did not.

“What’s going on?” Yamaguchi asked. None of the other members met his eyes. “Who’s (Y/N)?” 

The moment Tsukishima left the common room, he broke into a run, down the hallway and up the stairs to (Y/N). A part of him ran faster, scared that she wouldn’t be in his room, that she had left.

He had spent enough time at her store to know how flowers looked like when they were freshly wrapped. She would have had to do them this morning right before he came and picked her up. 

He stood outside the room willing his heart to beat slower. He wasn’t gone long, only an hour or two. Whenever Karasuno had meetings, they always ran long. He didn’t want to barge into the room frantic and tongue-tied. 

Tsukishima unfolded the note and read it again, and again, until he memorized it. He tucked it into his inside jacket pocket and laid a hand on the door handle. 

Relief flooded through Tsukishima when he opened the door and saw (Y/N) sound asleep, lying in his bed. A pillow was tight in her grip and she laid slightly in the middle of the bed.

Tsukishima walked over to her slowly and sat on the edge of the bed. One of (Y/N)’s hands was resting face-up on the mattress, the same hand that Yamaguchi had cut. Sugawara said that it had healed nicely but a scar still remained. 

He took her hand in his and ran his fingers over the scar. 

(Y/N)’s hand squeezed around his finger. 

“Kei?” Her voice was tired and rough. 

“Hey,” he said. 

She dug her head further into his pillow. “Are you done?” 

“Not yet,” he said softly. “There's something I need to tell you though.” 

(Y/N)’s eyes fluttered open at the tone of his voice. She lifted her head and started to blink profusely, as if trying to wake herself further, which created an odd expression on her face as she did.

Tsukishima laughed and quickly covered his mouth with his hand. 

(Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows, a small pout on her lips. “Why are you laughing at me?” 

Tsukishima smiled. “Nothing,” he said. 

He locked eyes with her. They were still droopy from tiredness, but clear and comforting. Tsukishima remembered the day he first saw them; he couldn’t meet her gaze then, but now all he wanted to do was look into them. He knew then, that he couldn’t lie to her. Everything that was happening and everything that was going to happen suddenly became real.

At his hesitance, (Y/N) frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Tsukishima moved closer to her. He swallowed and tightened his grip on her hand. “You know that I adore you, right?” 

A small smile tugged at her lips, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Kei, what’s wrong? You can tell me.” 

Tsukishima looked down and focused on her hand, rubbing it gently with his thumb. “I remember feeling really lonely when I grew up even though I had my family—I loved them, they loved me, and nothing was wrong—but that didn’t change anything for me. So I just learned how to be alone and accepted it.” 

“I’m sorry,” she said. 

He returned his gaze to (Y/N). “What?” 

“I’m sorry that you were lonely,” she repeated sincerely. (Y/N) hesitated momentarily, then said, “It makes me sad to think of you alone.” 

Tsukishima smiled to himself. He lifted her hand and kissed the back of it gently. “I have a lot of reasons to be with people now and want to be with them. I didn’t even realize the lonely feeling faded until it became nothing but a memory.” 

His voice was barely above a whisper but stayed steady as he continued, “You know, I have always loved this neighbourhood. I never thought that I was one to grow attachments to parks and streets. But, this is the place where my parents met. This is the place where I made a new family too, everyone inside this building, whether I admit it to them or not. They know. And I love it even more now because this is the place where I met you.” 

“Kei…”

“I never thought that I would end up doing something like this,” he added abruptly. “Something that has such a close relationship to death.” Tsukishima didn’t know why he felt like he had to justify his choices, but he wanted her to know. Even though (Y/N) wasn’t irrational or would judge him, he felt that revealing more about what he did for Karasuno would drive her away. 

“Why did you?” There wasn’t a hint of malice or acid in her voice. Some of the uneasiness went out of Tsukishima. 

“My parent’s business was going under and I wanted to help. But no one would hire me. That is until one of the former Karasuno members came up to me and offered me a job as a low-level member. Since I was young, I would just walk around and gather information about other gangs or just people in general. My parent’s business survived, did well since then, and I slowly made my way up the ladder from there.” 

(Y/N) bit her lip. “Why did you continue?” 

“I had to stay a bit until my parents were stable, but by the time there were, I had already moved up a bit and I liked what I was doing.” He shook his head. “Karasuno was different from other gangs from here. All of the things I overheard were how other gangs wanted more money and to gain more power. They would do—they would do a lot of unspeakable things to get it. They still do. There are some who do the same thing as Karasuno, who we have alliances with, but they're farther away from us. 

“I want Karasuno to still be like the one that I knew, trying to help anyone who needed it, to make this place feel safe. The people here aren’t stupid, they know what goes on. If I can help make the place that I love safer, then I want to. That’s why I continued.” 

“Even if it means...hurting people too?” she asked. 

Tsukishima closed his eyes and let out a breath. When he opened them, (Y/N) had moved closer to him, leaning forward from her spot. Her eyes were wide, more alert than before, and locked onto his.

“I’ve tried other ways before (Y/N), I really did. Someone has to do it, and that someone just happens to be me. I told you before that I hate doing it—I hate myself for doing it. If, at the end of the day, my actions help someone who needs it or didn’t even know they needed it, then I can live with all I’ve done wrong so that no one else has to.” 

(Y/N) didn’t say anything. She grasped their held hands and pulled him closer. Carefully, he laid down beside her, his head rested in the crook of her neck as she brought her arm around to hold him. She turned, planted a light kiss on his head, and then rested her head against his. 

He could hear the rhythm of her breathing along with the notes of her heartbeat. He hid a smile. This could be a strong contender for his favourite song, coming only second to her voice. 

“I know,” she sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I understand why you ask.” 

“Thank you for telling me, Kei.” 

“That isn’t what I wanted to tell you, actually,” he said. 

(Y/N) sank further into the bed. “Tell me later. I think I need a longer nap.” 

Tsukishima groaned internally. As much as he wished he could, he didn’t want to. He allowed himself another moment like this, comfortable and safe in her arms. He wanted to kick himself as he pulled away and rested his on the pillow beside hers. They were untangled from each other now but remained facing one another. 

(Y/N) sighed. With her eyes still closed, she said, “It’s important, isn't it?” 

“Yes.”

“Go on.” 

He took a deep breath. “When it was time to pass on the leadership of Karasuno, I was one of the candidates—”

“Obviously,” she muttered, opening her eyes ever so slightly.

Tsukishima laughed. “I was one of the candidates,” he repeated, “but I wasn’t the only one.” 

(Y/N) arched an eyebrow. “I’m guessing this has something to do with that person then?” 

“Yes.” 

She pursed her lips and then said slowly, “Does this have anything to do with me?” 

Tsukishima offered her a small smile. “It does.” 

A calculating look formed in (Y/N) eyes, one that unnerved Tsukishima slightly. She sat up, and he followed suit. “Please continue then.” 

“Her name is Yukiji Kumiko. We joined Karasuno around the same time and we were—” He broke off. Tuskishima hadn’t thought about Yukiji until Yamaguchi brought her up. It had been such a long time since he had last seen her. He wondered if she would look into his eyes with the same fiery hatred that he remembered. 

(Y/N) tilted her head. “Together?” 

He shook his head. “No. We were really good friends, maybe even best friends at that time. We practically grew up together in Karasuno. She was still here when I first became the leader and she was happy for me. I would have been happy for her if she got it, too.” 

“If the two of you are on good terms...then why do you seem so sad when you talk about her?” (Y/N) asked. 

“Do I?” He chuckled mirthlessly. “I guess that would make sense.” 

“What happened?” she said softly. 

“The passing of leadership is very strange. Some of our alliances—other gangs we would work with—were fine with the change, but others said that they were loyal to our former leader, not to me. So I went with Yukiji, her brother, and a few other members to go over things with one of them to see if we could keep the alliance in any way.

“It started okay. Then...things were said and it went downhill, like straight downhill. Most of us barely escaped with an inch of our lives, but her brother got injured pretty badly and didn’t make it.” 

“I’m sorry,” (Y/N) said. 

He swallowed. “You didn’t do anything. But, apparently, I did. We had an argument after and she blamed me and left Karasuno shortly after. I wanted to talk about it more to see if I could do anything, but I couldn’t find her. I haven’t spoken to her since.” 

“I hate to ask,” she said, glancing up to meet his eyes, “but did you have anything to do with it? I mean, I don’t know how meetings like that are supposed to go, or what was said, but is there a reason she blames you?” 

Tsukishima paused. He had thought about it thoroughly when it happened, replaying the conversation over and over again, every action and breath, and always came up short. “She told me that we should have just let the alliance go when they questioned Karasuno’s change in leadership, and if we never went then her brother would still be alive. But I had to at least try, I didn’t think that it would go so terribly.” 

(Y/N) took his hand. “It isn’t your fault, Kei. You couldn’t have known.” 

“Maybe I should have.” Tsukishima gritted his teeth. “I’m their leader, (Y/N), they expect me to think about these things, to give them instructions and help them, to know better.” 

“Perhaps,” she sighed, “but doesn’t anyone who goes into this life know the risks? You told me before that this is a dangerous job, anything could happen, anyone could—anyone could die if one thing goes badly—you, Hinata, Sugawara—how do you enter this world without knowing that and already halfway accept it?” 

Tsukishima's eyes widened. Please don't say that; he wanted to say. The words died on his lips. 

He wanted to reassure her, tell her that everything was going to be fine and then they were all going to live until they were old and grey. But how could he talk her out of something that he didn’t believe himself? It would be a losing battle against himself.

(Y/N) shook her head dismissively. "It’s not your fault, okay?” 

He nodded numbly.  

A nervous smile took over her face. “So, uhh, what does this have to do with me?” 

Tsukishima blinked. His hand went to his pocket. “Remember the night you were attacked?” 

“I do,” she said. “It’s the day I met you.” 

Tsukishima flushed.

“What about it?” she pressed.  

“Those have been happening for a couple of weeks before you were attacked. We had just met, but I wanted to know who did it, not just for your sake, but for everyone so we’d be able to stop them. We traced your attack back to this kid, Yamaguchi. But by the time we found out, I had been shot and Yamaguchi requested to meet with us.” 

(Y/N) shifted uncomfortably in her spot. “What did he want?” 

He took the paper out of his pocket. “He worked for the person behind the attacks and when he reported back that I stopped him, he found his sister dead in their apartment a couple of days after. He believes that his former leader did it. Yamaguchi wanted us to help him prove that it was her in exchange for information about the attacks and anything else we’d like to know. We’ve been looking into it for the past couple of weeks.” 

“Her? Yukiji?” (Y/N) asked. 

Tsukishima nodded and handed her the note. She looked at him quizzically before reading it. Once she was done, she handed it back to him. 

“She came to my shop to buy flowers?” (Y/N) asked. She looked away, knitting her eyebrows together. 

“There was a bouquet of flowers, along with this letter, in front of Yamaguchi’s door,” he said. “He just came with them right before I came here. I know that you don't want to be a part of this life, but you said that if it ever concerned you, then you would want to know. I’m sorry.”

She was silent for a moment, then said, “Can I see them?” 

“See what?” 

“The flowers.” 

“If you want to,” he said. He stood up from the bed. “They’re downstairs in the common room. Everyone’s there too, including Yamaguchi. Is that going to be a problem? I can ask him to leave.” 

(Y/N) stood up after him and straightened her clothes. “It’s fine. I think I would like to meet him, actually.” 

Tsukishima nodded slowly. “Okay.” 

“Does everyone know about Yukiji?” 

He opened the door and they began to walk to the elevator. (Y/N) was right, if he hadn’t lived in this building for most of his life, he would definitely get lost. “Yeah. Once we found out that she was Yamaguchi’s former boss, I told them.” 

The elevator doors opened. Tsukishima flushed remembering the last time they were in an elevator. He was about to say something about it, but saw her eyes set forward and the small frown on her lips and decided against it. (Y/N) still needed to process everything that he told her and it didn’t help that she had such little time to do it. So, they rode down in silence. 

They arrived at the door of the common room. As always, Tsukishima could hear the loud voices through the walls. (Y/N) reach of the door handle, but Tsukishima placed his hand on top of hers. 

“Wait,” he said. 

(Y/N) laughed nervously. “There’s not more to the story is there?”  

He shook his head. “No. It's just—I’m so sorry, (Y/N).” 

“About what?” 

Tsukishima took a deep breath. “I’m sorry that you have to do this—being dragged into something you don’t agree with, something that you never wanted because of me.” He paused. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” she said. 

“It’s not,” he said forcefully. He drew her away from the door and shoved the palms of his hands to cover his eyes. “How did we get here? I feel like I’m condemning you to a sad ending.”

(Y/N)’s face was blank for a moment. “Are you saying this because of what I said earlier? About going into this world—your world—half-accepting death?” 

He didn’t say anything. 

“Do you know why roses are red?” she asked.

Tsukishima blinked quizzically. “Is this a riddle? Like ‘why is the raven like a writing desk’?”

“No,” she said and then smiled, the one that showed her teeth and made her eyes light up. Tsukishima’s heartfelt lighter looking at her. 

“In Greek mythology,” she continued, “all roses were originally white. The flower itself came up from the water with Aphrodite. Much later in her life, the other gods laughed at her pride and vanity claiming that she could make anyone fall in love with her. Then, as a joke, they made her fall in love with a human. Ares, upon hearing that, became jealous and sent a boar after him. As Aphrodite ran to save him, she pricked her foot on the thorn of a rose bush. Since then, roses were red because they run with the blood of the goddess of love.” 

“Oh,” he said stunned. "Was she able to save him?" 

"No, she wasn't."

He frowned. “Is that real?”

She shrugged. “If you believe it to be. Even with the tragic ending, I’d like to believe it's real, to find curiosity and meaning in mundane things in life makes it a much more enjoyable world to live in.” 

A look crossed his face. "Maybe we should stick to happier stories." 

"It could be happy if you want it to be." 

A dull silence filled the hallway. 

(Y/N) locked onto his gaze. A determined look flashed through her eyes. “I don’t look at death the same way that you do,” she said slowly. “You have different experiences with it—but if I look at you, knowing what kind of life you lead, I can’t see or delude myself to believe that you are invincible. I would hurt too much if I believed something like that and then have you slip away from me. I don’t want you to think I said that because I think you will die, I said in hope that you don’t.” 

Tsukishima let out a ragged breath, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I won’t die.” 

Her voice cracked. “But you don’t know that, do you?” 

Tsukishima took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He pressed a kiss into her hair. “I won’t die,” he repeated. When he heard her about to protest, he continued. “I won’t die because I have you now. What type of person would I be if I left you here?” 

She held him tighter. “A shitty one.” 

He laughed, his body shaking as he did. (Y/N) pulled away from him and rubbed the back of her hand against her eyes. 

“How did you know about that story?” he asked lightly.

“When you work with flowers for most of your life, you learn things.” 

“I think...I want to believe that their love carried on through red roses,” he inquired, walking back to the door and placing a hand on the knob. “If roses are red now, then their love must still exist.”

(Y/N) raised her eyebrows and stood frozen for a moment. She moved to the door caught up to him before he could open it. “I told you that with a different purpose in mind, actually.” 

His smile was back on his face. “What for then?” 

(Y/N) bit her lip and then rested her hand on top of his. His hand was rough underneath her fingertips. “If roses are red because of love, then, mystically, what if blood is too? Forget about science for a moment, humour me. That would mean our blood is red with love, that people are made to love each other. That’s how I know you can never condemn me to a sad ending, Kei. We were made to love each other.”

She broke off. Her thumb rubbed carelessly against his knuckles. Tsukishima was speechless. How did they get here? He thought. What did he do to find someone like her? He didn’t think he should question it; he should just accept it and discover all the ways that he could remain by her side as long as she allowed him to. 

“Any ending with you is going to be a happy one,” she said and opened the door.

Kageyama eyed Yamaguchi. He was standing away from everyone else, farthest from the door of the common room and kept his head down. He still held the flowers delicately in his hands. All of the times that he had come to the Karasuno headquarters, they made sure that (Y/N) was at her flower shop. They didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable, nor did they want her to think they just let any person come in and out of their building with ease. 

In a strange way, (Y/N) had been integrated into Karasuno in a way Kageyama never thought was possible. Oddly enough too, he enjoyed her company. 

Kageyama didn’t want to say it out loud—he never had much luck saying things the way he wanted them perceived—but he didn’t understand why Yamaguchi was so on edge around them. No one at Karasuno was going to jump him. 

He only spoke to Tsukishima comfortably but Kageyama felt that was going to change too. Once Tsukishima had left the room to see (Y/N), Yamaguchi asked repeatedly who she was. Everyone had shared looks around the room, silently debating what they could say. Everyone at Karasuno already knew, so there wasn’t anything to hide here but Yamaguchi was neither an outsider or a member. 

In the end, all eyes had fallen onto Sawamura. 

Sawamura cleared his throat. He placed a firm hand on Yamaguchi’s shoulder. “Tsukishima can tell you.” 

Tanaka barked out a quick laugh. 

Sawamura smiled crookedly. “Do you remember the person you attacked? The night you met Tsukishima?” 

Yamaguchi squirmed. “I do.” 

“Her name is (Y/N).” 

Yamaguchi’s eyes had furrowed and then morphed into a mixture of realization and astonishment. Slowly, he said, “Does she have anything to do with my sister?” 

“Your sister?” Sawamura asked. “No, she doesn’t.” 

“But you said that she wrapped the flowers that were in front of my door. Wouldn’t they have worked together or something?” 

Hinata shook his head, a serious look took over his eyes. “(Y/N) owns a flower shop. When you attacked her, Tsukishima was there right? That’s how they met. Yukiji probably went there when none of us were to get them, but it doesn’t mean that (Y/N) knew who she was or tried to help her. Yukiji probably just went there because she knew that it would bug Tsukishima.” 

Yamaguchi blinked, cocking his head slightly. “Why would that bug Tsukishima?”

“Because they are so sweet on each other that it makes me want to get all my teeth removed,” Kageyama muttered. 

Ennoshita smacked him on the shoulder. “Kageyama!” 

Kageyama rubbed his shoulder. His eyes widened and his lips tugged downwards into a frown. “What? He was going to find out eventually. It’s not like they hid it in this building. Plus he's not going to tell anyone.” He turned his glare to Yamaguchi. “Right?” 

Yamaguchi winced but nodded his head vigorously. 

“Plus,” Kageyama added, “if this goes where I think it’s going to go, then it really doesn’t matter who knows what. What matters is who’s going to be alive after this ends.” 

Sawamura clutched his jaw. “We already know that, Kageyama. Let’s just take a breather, okay? Yamaguchi, I’ll answer the questions you have, but let’s just wait for Tsukishima to come back before we go jumping to conclusions.” 

Everyone nodded meekly and dispersed into the room. Yamaguchi drifted over to Sawamura for a bit before drifting off into the far corner of the room. 

“How long do you think they’ll be? (Y/N) and Tsukishima?” Hinata asked, scratching his head lightly. 

Kageyama scoffed. “Who knows. I guess it depends on what Tsukishima decides to tell her and what she chooses to do with it. It’s a lot to take in.” 

“Do you think that she would leave?” 

Kageyama shook his head. “I don’t think she would. I’ll be right back.” 

“But I have questions!” 

“Ask someone else.” 

Kageyama made his way over to Yamaguchi. He was picking at the petals of the flowers and mumbling to himself. 

Kageyama sighed and clicked his tongue. “If you keep pacing you’re going to create a draft.” 

Yamaguchi stopped abruptly. “Oh, sorry.” 

“I didn’t mean—look, are you okay? Because we probably have a long night in front of us and I don’t know how much help you’ll be if you look like someone in here is going to murder you.” 

“Sawamura said that there’s a good chance that (Y/N) would be coming down with Tsukishima. I just...don’t think I made a good first impression. With anyone.” 

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Kageyama asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Yamaguchi shrugged. “I was worried that everyone in here hated me, but at least I know why everyone looks at me strangely. Are all of you close to (Y/N)?” 

Kageyama hesitated. “We’re used to having her around.” After another pause, he added, “Don’t worry about first impressions. When all of us first met (Y/N), we pointed our guns at her.” 

Yamaguchi half-smiled. He opened his mouth to say something else, but the door creaking open caused him to stop. Everyone’s attention was trained at the two people who were walking in: (Y/N) looking at Tsukishima and Tsukishima smiling at (Y/N). 

He heard Yamaguchi swallow. 

Tsukishima took note of the room and straightened his back, turning his attention to the rest of the room. His stare landed on Yamaguchi and hardened. A look of indifference settled on his face.

(Y/N) looked around the room briefly. She smiled lightly to everyone. “So, uh, how is everyone?”

It was easy for (Y/N) to spot Yamaguchi. He held flowers in his hand and had been speaking to Kageyama in a low voice. 

When Tsukishima had said that he was a “kid”, (Y/N) didn’t expect him to be a literal teenager. He was scrawny but clearly strong. She remembered the determined nervousness in his eyes when he had turned her around and slashed a knife across her. She remembered when she collided with the lamp post, her hand stinging and throbbing, and the way he had looked at her: terrified. 

She was scared then, but she wasn’t now. 

(Y/N) had told herself on the way to the common room that she would not forgive this person. She wanted to hold onto the grudge and loath in it. But where would that lead her? To hold onto a piece of herself that was angry and scared? To always have a part of herself be stuck at that moment in time? 

She walked up to them, shoulders back, gaze steady. She smiled at Kageyama and then focused on Yamaguchi. He was frozen, eyes widened and mouth slightly ajar.  

(Y/N) gestured to the flowers. “May I?” 

He nodded stiffly and slowly placed the flowers in her hand, careful not to touch her. (Y/N) turned, opening herself up to the room, and then looked down at the bouquet. 

“Petunias,” she said, pushing the wrapping aside to get a better look. “I think I put this together last night, maybe this morning. They mean anger and resentment.” 

“Fitting,” Kageyama muttered. 

“They could also represent the feeling of hope and desire,” (Y/N) added. She caught Tsukishima’s eyes and bit her tongue. “Though, I don’t really think the latter definition was the intention.” 

Sugawara sighed. “That only tells us what we already know.” 

“Well, they clearly know where I work and live. That’s not exactly comforting.” 

Nishinoya narrowed his eyes. “They would have to be tailing you or Tsukishima. We thought about that, but why just buy flowers? All of us had been on rotation at (Y/N)’s shop, so they chose a moment where we weren’t there. They could’ve just done something worse instead of just buying flowers.” 

“To send a message?” Hinata suggested.

“A bigger message would’ve been spent if they just took (Y/N) or something,” Kageyama said. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. Sheepishly he added, “No offence.” 

“It’s fine,” she said. “I understand. Kind of, at least. This is still very strange to me.” 

Tsukishima crossed the room to her side. He took the flowers out of her hands and tossed them aside. He interlocked their hands gently as he said, “We have a rough plan of what to do. We were talking about it earlier, but since they are following us, I think that we should give them something to watch.” 

“Like lure them out?” 

“Yes,” he said. “I think that if we could—”

Yamaguchi coughed awkwardly. 

Tsukishima raised his head and glared. 

“Is something wrong?” (Y/N) asked. 

Yamaguchi looked as if he had been shocked by electricity. “Uhh, yeah, I—” He cleared his throat. “I think they were trying to scare you.” 

Sawamura folded his arms across his chest. “Go on.” 

“Well,” he said, rubbing the back of his head. “You—Karasuno—are known to be isolated from everyone else since Tsukishima became leader. You didn’t cut ties with all of your alliances, but you did with most of them. Word gets around.” 

Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima, chin up, eyes set. (Y/N) recognized this look, the same determined nervousness. “You seem to make plans and follow through. If you were threatened or attacked, you’d lay low for a bit and then counter attack. You fall into a pattern. I think that Yukiji, especially if she knew you before this started, would get used to it and anticipate it. I think that she purposely did something, like buy flowers at (Y/N)’s shop, to scare you into a reaction.” 

“So we’re supposed to do nothing then?” Tanaka tsked. “That seems worse.” 

Yamaguchi shook his head. “You do something that they wouldn’t expect, something that you wouldn’t do or wouldn’t have even thought of, but you make it look like what you would do.” He looked around expectantly. “I can try to fill in the blanks of what Yukiji would do, but I don’t know how much that would help. I wasn’t exactly a star player in their game.” 

(Y/N) felt Tsukishima go stiff by her side. She glanced at him. His mouth was set into a line and his gaze was locked onto the floor. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking and even if she was a mind-reader, she probably wouldn’t have understood it, not in the way the other people in this room would. Is there always going to be a closed-off part of him that she wouldn’t be able to open?

“I know what Yukiji would do,” he said at last. (Y/N) felt the back of his hand brush against hers lightly. She closed her eyes as the weight of his eyes fell on her. “And I know what I need to do, but it involves you.” 

There it was. The one thing she wished he wouldn’t say because she knew that if he asked, she would say yes. 

(Y/N) opened her eyes and was grateful to see that most of the Karasuno members were looking away or giving her half-clam looks. She knew that none of them would resent her for her decision. She didn’t want to do it, but now it became much more than herself. She was a part of it, maybe even more than she knew about, but Yamaguchi had lost his sister, innocent people and Karasuno were being threatened. If she could stop that, put an end to unnecessary hurt, she would.

Tsukishima whispered next to her ear in a low voice, “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but if you choose to do it, I swear that nothing will happen to you.” 

She felt like she had this conversation before. You can’t promise that, Kei. 

(Y/N) turned to him and smiled. “What’s the plan?” 

He smiled back at her, but his eyes were unsure. Guilt. “Well, I make a phone call.” 

Yamaguchi looked around (Y/N)’s shop and understood why everyone liked being here. It was warm and had a lingering scent of earth and floral perfume in the air. It felt a home away from home.

He watched (Y/N) as she walked around her shop. It wouldn’t open for another ten minutes, but she had spent more than half an hour aligning pots and inspecting each flower, picking out the ones that looked wilted and sometimes regrouping bunches of flowers altogether. 

Do not let her out of your sight. A cold shiver travelled up Yamaguchi’s spine thinking about the words Tsukishima had told him. He had pulled him aside once all of the pieces of their plan were put into place. You want forgiveness from me? Do this one thing and you have it. Yamaguchi wasn’t sure that Tsukishima meant what he was saying, maybe he just said it because he knew it was what Yamaguchi wanted to hear. 

He wasn’t entirely sure why Tsukishima had trusted him with (Y/N). For the sake of the plan? But he wasn’t going to betray him. Making sure that everything on his end of the plan went smoothly was the least he could do for Tsukishima, (Y/N), and Karasuno. Still, something gnawed inside of him, slowly taking away pieces of his innocence and replacing it with guilt. 

(Y/N) was kind to him—but he had learned that she was kind to everyone, so that wasn’t much to go on. She had let him into her shop when he arrived, smiled at him, and offered him something to drink. Soon after, a lull carried over the shop. He didn’t know if he should ask her if there was something he could help her with. Would she even accept my help after what I did? 

Every time she turned her hand, baring her scar, he resisted the urge to flinch. A permanent mark. 

He checked his watch. Time was quickly ticking away. They all knew that every plan meant taking a calculated risk on their lives. 

Yamaguchi cleared his throat. “(Y/N)?” 

She peeked over her shoulder, placing down a basket of flowers. “Yes?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

Her back still turned against him, he saw a slight hesitation as she picked up a flower and turned around. She balanced on the edge of the table, twirling the stem of a flower in her hand. “About what?” she asked. 

(Y/N)’s face was unreadable to him. 

“I’m sorry that I attacked you,” he said. He took a deep breath. “I don’t have any excuses; it was something that I chose to do at that moment. You don’t have to forgive me or even accept this as an apology, I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry and it won’t happen again.” 

The corner of her lips quirked up. “You won’t attack me again?” 

“Anyone, at all.” 

(Y/N) sighed. She took a step closer to Yamaguchi. “I’ve been receiving a lot of apologies lately.” 

“Really?” 

She nodded. “I got one from Tsukishima earlier, and now one from you; both because of something that was in your control and completely out of it.” 

Yamaguchi tilted his head to the side. “What?” 

“I was sorry to hear about you sister.” 

“Oh,” he said. He focused his gaze on the floor. “Thank you. 

“Tsukishima told me about what happened.”

Yamaguchi winced. “I’m not blaming her for what I chose to do. I hurt you before my sister died.” 

“I know. You only joined Yukiji’s gang because of your sister, right? To make ends meet? That’s how Tsukishima joined Karasuno. I don’t think that I can fully blame you for trying to survive. Did you hurt anyone else before me?” 

Eye wide, he shook his head. 

(Y/N) head up her hand. The scar was glaring across her palm. 

He looked away. 

Carefully, like a winding branch, she said, “I don’t forgive you, Yamaguchi.” 

His heart fell. A part of him knew that if (Y/N) wouldn’t forgive then neither would Tsukishima. It was selfish to think about it, but without forgiveness, he would never be a member of Karasuno, and without them, he didn’t know where he would belong. It was an odd partnership, but one that he could see working out at the end. He didn’t want to be alone again. 

“I can’t forgive, yet,” she continued, “I don’t know you. But if everything goes...well today, then I can try to forgive you. I don’t want to hate you, Yamaguchi.” 

Yamaguchi looked up. The tension went out of his shoulders. There were millions of chances in the world; the one that he took when he picked up the knife that scarred (Y/N)’s hand and the one he was given now. This would be a choice that he would not regret. “I would like that very much. Thank you, (Y/N).” 

She walked towards him, the flower stretched out in front of her. He took the flower and rolled the stem between his fingers. 

“About the hand,” she started, wiggling the fingers of her scarred hand, “I think we’re even from when I punched you in the face.” 

Yamaguchi laughed. He touched the bridge of his nose. “On cold nights, I can feel it burn.” 

(Y/N) grinned. She stepped away, unlocked the front door, and flipped the sign to say the shop was opened. 

“After what happened, with me and your sister, I can understand why you wouldn’t want to hurt anyone. But I learned that if you want this job, live the life you’re living now, hurting people will be inevitable,” she said, making her way back to the counter. 

“I know,” he said. “I don’t want to hurt people unnecessarily. What I did, that only spread chaos. I want to do something better. Even if I only help one person.” 

“I think that you and Tsukishima would make really good friends.” 

“Maybe one day. If he decides to forgive me. I doubt that would be anytime soon.” 

“It might be closer than you think,” she said. “He’s a softy.” 

“I think I doubt that even more.” 

(Y/N) laughed as she looked through the clear glass of the front door and shop windows. She propped up her elbow on the counter and rested her head in her hand. “Do we just wait?” 

“Wait for what?” a voice said behind her.

(Y/N) jumped. Before she could even turn around, the shape of a gun hit her hard on the head and she crumbled to the ground. 

Yamaguchi flinched, drew his gun, and aimed it at the figure. The figure stepped into the light. Their dark hair gleamed in the light and her eyes were sharp and cunning. She held a gun in her hand and raised it to meet Yamaguchi’s. 

He glared at the women that stood where (Y/N) once stood. “Yukiji,” he growled.

“You should drop your weapon, Yamaguchi.” Her lips curled into a cutting grin. 

He tightened his grip on the handle. “You should drop yours.” 

“I outnumber you.” 

Yamaguchi opened his mouth to ask what she meant when he felt the cool barrel of a gun pressed into his back. He let out a breath but didn’t lower his gun. 

Yukiji smirked. “Ready to die? So soon? You don’t want to live for Karasuno now?” 

The barrel pressed harder into his back. “I died when my sister did.” 

Her smirk grew. “How about I change the game?” In a quick motion, her gun was trained on (Y/N). She looked smugly at Yamaguchi, almost daring him to take the shot. 

Yamaguchi froze. He was so consumed with rage once he saw Yukiji that he forgot that the person he was supposed to be watching laid defenceless on the ground. He had one job and he screwed up. If Tsukishima didn’t smack him if they got out of this, he would smack himself. 

Yukiji placed her finger on the trigger. “How about I ask you again. Drop it.” 

A second passed before he crouched down and placed his gun on the floor. With his hands raised, he stood up straight, his eyes never leaving Yukiji’s. He was going to tear her apart limb from limb. 

“That’s better,” she said. She looked down at (Y/N) and tilted her head. “She is very pretty. Tsukishima must be happy. I plan to change that.” 

(Y/N)’s a lot more than pretty, Yamaguchi thought, but you wouldn’t know what that's like, would you know. “What do you want?” 

Yukiji snapped her head up. “I didn’t expect you to cave so soon, Yamaguchi. I gave you one job, caused attacks and panic in Tsukishima’s territory, but you couldn’t even do that. And then you ran to him without a second thought. Pitiful.” 

Yamaguchi gritted his teeth. He wanted to scream at her. He wanted her to live with a wound that would never heal. Not yet, he told himself, not while she has a gun in her hand. Soon. 

“I don’t like traitors; people who turn their back on others. You going to Tsukishima might have been good. I get to kill birds with one stone.” 

He shook his head. “All you’re doing is adding fuel to the fire. Even if you kill me and Tsukishima, it wouldn’t do anything.” 

“Actually, I think that it would help me a lot.” 

Yamaguchi thought of his sister. When her nose would scrunch up when he would tell her a joke. When she brought him ice cream every week when he was younger. When she would hug him and he fell while playing, scraping himself bloody. 

“It will heal and the pain will go before you know it,” she would tell him. 

Yukiji had replaced all of that with the image of her lifeless body on the floor of their apartment, never to laugh or smile again. 

“Haven’t you lost someone?” he asked. 

Her grin faded. Her lips pressed into a hard line. She nodded to the person behind him. “A brother.” 

Yamaguchi felt a sharp pain on his head and then nothing. 

Yukiji prided herself in the way things had worked out. She now had two hostages, both people that she knew Tsukishima would come after. Actually, she wasn’t sure about Yamaguchi—how close they had gotten or if Yamaguchi meant anything at all, but it was better to take all that you can get than leave something important behind. 

With her feet up on the dash of their car, she glanced at the rearview mirror to the trunk. Yamaguchi and (Y/N) had laid on the floor of the trunk, their hands and ankles tied. She could have had someone else in her gang come for them, but she wanted the job done right. They would only get one chance that this and she’d be damned if she let some low-level member mess this up.  

Yukiji had waited to strike back at Tsukishima for a long time. She had no doubt in her abilities to hit and take down Karasuno as a whole, she could plan for that within a week without blinking. She knew Tsukishima cared about everyone there, but she wanted something more, something that would hurt him like a well placed stab wound—a pain that would only grow and remain until the only thing left was a pool of blood and a body. 

She heard Yamaguchi stir in his sleep as they pulled into her building’s hidden garage entrance. Her driver must have heard him too because he parked the car, turned to her, and asked, “Should I hit him again?” 

“No. He won’t be doing much of anything once we’re done with him, so let him have his fun.” 

Two people emerged from the building and her driver came around the car to open the trunk.

“Take them both to the basement and put them on opposite ends of the hallway,” she said. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.” 

Yamaguchi woke with a start, cold water soaking through his clothes and hair making him shiver and cough. He was sitting on a chair, his wrists were bound behind him and his ankles tied off together. He looked around frantically. 

The room was almost too dark to see anything in the distance—he couldn’t tell where the room ended or started—and the only light came from an exposed light bulb that hung above him, shining down only a circle of light that enclosed him and the edge of a table. His best guess was the basement, the only floor in the building that didn’t have any windows. 

He couldn’t see (Y/N). Panic filled his chest. Damn it.  

“You don’t like her too, right?” a chilling voice said. Yukiji stepped into the light. She held a baseball bat in one hand, leaning on it as if it were a cane. “That would be sad.”

Yamaguchi frowned. He pulled at the rope that held his wrists. “I made a promise.” 

“Some promise-keeper you are.” She held her chin up and took a step closer to him. Yukiji swung the baseball bat in a high arc and rested it on her shoulder. “I meant what I said. I despise traitors.” 

Yamaguchi kept his mouth shut. From what Tsukishima had told him, he learned that Yukiji had a thing for theatrics. She would make a show out of all of the things she did to gauge a reaction. He just didn’t know how long she would keep up the show before she called a curtain call. 

Yukiji circled him. “Do you like your head?” 

He took a deep breath. 

“Should I take that as a no?” 

She came back to stand in front of him. Her eyebrows pinched together as she pursed her lips. “Maybe I’ll ask (Y/N) the same question. From what I know, she and Tsukishima talk a lot. I wonder if she’ll remember all those flowers if I bash her head in.” 

Yamaguchi gritted his teeth. “I do, in fact, like my head.” 

Yukiji smirked. “You’re so easily riled. It reminds me of someone else that I had in this chair a couple of months ago.” 

“Why do I remind you of this person?” He played along. 

“You might know her,” she said, “liked ice cream, and lived in an apartment.” She eyed him up and down. “She kind of looked like you too.” 

Yamaguchi stilled. His body felt like lead; his blood slowly drained from him. “Shut up,” he said in a low voice. 

She laughed. “You sound so much like her. Stubborn. She didn’t scream that much though, so it wasn’t as fun. I had to end it the quick way”

Yamaguchi bit his tongue, holding back all of the words he wanted to scream at her. Just a little longer, he told himself, just a little longer. He let out a breath. His mind flashed back to the letter Yukiji had sent. “I guess it runs in the family.”

“I guess it does.” 

“What did you do to her,” he spat. 

Yukiji lifted the bat from her shoulder and pushed the end of it into Yamaguchi’s chest. “It’s not what I did to her, it’s what she did to me.” 

She balanced the bat in her hand, holding it as if it were a mighty sword, and swung. 

(Y/N) heard footsteps and...gunshots? She couldn’t tell. All she could think of was how her head pounded and that opening her eyes made it worse. Her head rested on the floor and her arms laid behind, but by the way her wrists burned, she could only assume that they were tied together at one point.

She closed her eyes and tried to sit up. The human body was definitely not made to be hit in the head. (Y/N) thought back to her conversation with Tsukishima. 

They had been back in his room after they finalized their plan. He had raised his hand to brush against her cheek, hesitating only a moment before dropping it. “There’s a good chance that they’ll knock you out.” 

“You can’t really prepare for that, can you?” 

He shook his head. “We’ll be right behind you.” He paused. “It’s not too late to back out. Everyone would understand if you did.” 

“It wouldn’t end if I do.”

Tsukishima took a step forward, closing the gap between them. He hugged her tightly. “Then I need you to do three things for me.” 

She nodded and rested her head against him. “If they want to know things about Karasuno and they try to...hurt you for it, tell them whatever it is. It’s not worth you.” 

(Y/N) stifled a flinch. “Okay,” she whispered. 

“The second,” he continued, “if there’s a chance where Yamaguchi could kill her, and you’re not putting yourself in harm's way, then try to stop him. If you can’t, then don’t.” 

She furrowed her eyes together and took a step back. “Not to sound morbid or on the side of death, but why not?” 

Tsukishima sighed. “When Yamaguchi brought Yukiji back to our attention, we tried to find all the information we could about her, the people she had dealt with, and the building she operates out of.” 

He went to his nightstand and pulled out a photo. “Another gang that we work with, Neokoma, they’ve been tailing Yukiji for a bit because she’s been messing with their area too, probably as a way to gain more territory. Taking out someone big is a good way to have a strong reputation. 

Tsukishima handed her the photo. Two girls stood outside a black brick building. One of them had pin-needle straight dark hair—Yukiji—and was viciously yelling at another person who had their head turned in the direction of the camera with their gaze on the ground, ashamed. 

(Y/N) squinted and brought the photo closer. “The other girl kind of looks like Yamaguchi.” 

“It’s Yamaguchi’s sister.” 

(Y/N) blinked. “But I thought that she didn’t know anything about what Yamaguchi did, that she died because of what Yamaguchi did.”

Tsuksihima shrugged. “That’s what Yamaguchi said, but I asked my friend about it, and he said that she had been spotted with Yukiji for almost two years. Yamaguchi only joined a little more than six months ago. Maybe a part of her death was because of what he did, but it looks like she had a hand in her own death, too.” 

“Have you told Yamaguchi about this?” 

“No.” 

“Kei, you know that you should.” 

“I can’t,” he argued. “He already wants her dead. If I tell him this, then it’s going to make him doubt every single thing that his sister has done. And he can’t doubt and still do his part.”

She shook her head. “Has withholding information ever been a good thing?” 

“It doesn’t matter if it’s a good thing. He can hate me, but he has to be alive to hate me. With this information, it would make him reckless and unreliable. It could get him killed and you killed.” 

(Y/N) handed the picture to him. “Why does she need to be alive?” 

“She has the answers to all of the questions that Yamaguchi could have and if he kills her because his emotions clouded his judgement, he won’t realize that until it’s too late.” Tsukishima took the picture back and put it back on the nightstand. “And I think that killing her wouldn’t benefit him at all, it might make things worse for him.” 

He reached out for (Y/N)’s hand. “Don’t tell him, okay? There might be a chance that Yukiji will throw it in his face, but I don’t think she’ll do much besides dangle it in front of him like bait.” 

She sighed and tightened the grip on his hand. “You’re willing to risk that?” 

“No plan is perfect. Sometimes we have to improvise.” 

“And the third?” 

“Please be careful. Please.” 

The ringing in her head stopped. The noises outside the door grew louder. She couldn’t tell how much time had passed or if she had been going in and out of consciousness, but she did know that she didn’t want to stay here like a sitting duck. 

She wanted to find Kei. If the footsteps outside were what she thought it was, then he could be here. She got up slowly, not wanting to risk the chance of standing up too fast and feeling light-headed. She took hold of the doorknob and leaned closer to the door, waiting for a lull of silence. When one came, she twisted it. 

Nothing happened. 

(Y/N) tried again and glared at it. Of course, it would be locked dumbass. 

She heard a close gunshot and jumped back. The room she was in was completely bare, nothing to help her break out or defend herself with if someone came into the room—there weren't any windows, just the door. 

(Y/N) walked back into the center of the room. She froze as she saw the doorknob jiggle. If it was someone with a gun or a knife then she didn’t have much of a chance. Tsukishima only taught her how to defend herself when someone was attacking her. But if Yukiji wanted to kill her, she probably would have by now. 

The door moved again. As quickly as she could, (Y/N) laid back down on the ground where she originally woke up. If it was someone on Yukiji’s side checking on her, they’d just look in close the door again. If it was someone else, then they would have to come closer to her and if they touched her, she could try and handle it from there. 

Tsukishima said that once they were inside the building, someone would come to find her and bring her out. But she couldn’t be sure that the person on the other side of the down was trying to prevent her death or make it happen faster. 

She heard the creak of the door. The gunfire had stopped, distance shouting had taken its place. The footsteps neared her and stopped in front of her. She felt their breath on her skin as they placed fingers on her neck. 

Her eyes flew open and met a pair that she didn’t realize. With surprise on her side, she turned her body, hooked her ankle around his, and pulled. The man fell on his back with a groan. 

(Y/N) got up and bolted to the door. 

“Wait,” he called, “Tsukki sent me.” 

She stopped. “What?” 

“Yeah,” he said, getting up. He rubbed the back of his head—a messy black head of hair. He was a little taller than Tsukishima and despite the hard fall, he had a lazy grin on his face. A read jacket clung to his body. “I probably should have led with that. Sorry. I’m Kuroo from—” 

“Nekoma,” she finished. Tsukishima had told them that they were getting help from someone he knew. If Yukiji expects us to do it alone, then we don’t. “Tsukishima sent you? Where is he?” 

Kuroo shook his head. “I’m supposed to take you out of the building. He was very clear about that. And if he’s going to not kill me for throwing him a surprise birthday, I’d like to be in his good graces.” 

He strode up to her. “Come on.” 

(Y/N) backed away. “No. I’m going to find Kei. So, you can either come with me or let me wonder on my own.” 

Kuroo laughed. “I like you. He’s at the other end of the hallway.” 

“Is it...safe? To go out?” 

“As safe as possible. Tsukki was right, there weren’t many of them, but we still have some people checking the rest of the building just in case.” He shrugged, walked to the door, and opened it for her. “There could be an axe murderer lurking around the corner though.” 

“Good luck with the birthday party,” she said, peeking her head through the door and to either side of the hallway. (Y/N) spotted Kageyama, Hinata, and a boy with dyed blond ends peering through a door on the opposite end. “I’m sure he’ll love that.” 

Tsukishima stepped in front of the gun. “Yamaguchi. Don’t.” 

He had been right about Yukiji. From the intel he gathered, along with Neokma’s, he knew that she was bluffing. Sure, she had a smart mind, making her gang seem as though it was bigger than it was—grouping the same people together and splitting them up, making them think as though they were a specific team and there were more groups like them, but in reality not having more than twenty-five people. 

He was certain that she would take them back to the building she occupied and not some other location. The resources that Tsukishima had came from time and connections and a new gang like Yukiji’s couldn’t afford a secondary location. 

The one thing that was less predictable was Yamaguchi. He couldn’t control how much Yukiji could tell him or how Yamaguchi would react. Tsukishima could only assume that he would react either badly or really badly. 

It was a calculated risk. 

Tsukishima couldn’t be sure what rooms they would be held in either. He directed Kuroo to take the end closest to the garage while he took the other. 

He hoped that he would find (Y/N), but finding Yamaguchi might have been better. 

Kageyama, Hinata, and himself took care of the guards at the door. Once Tsukishima found the key on the guard’s belt, he ordered the two to stand guard. He saw Yukiji standing over a slumped body in a chair with a half bloody baseball bat in her hand. 

Tsukishima raised his gun and fired. Yukiji dropped her bat and gripped her shoulder. He ran towards them, making it just before she could reach her own gun. He grabbed her area and twisted it. She shouted and he brought the butt of his gun down on the back of her head. 

He turned and focused on Yamaguchi. It looked like he took some hits to the body and maybe a punch to the face. His shirt had droplets of blood on them, but he looked otherwise okay. 

Tsukishima untied his wrists and ankles. “Yamaguchi?” 

Yamaguchi’s head raised. “Did you know?” 

He didn’t have to specify. 

“Only the bare bones.” 

“You should have told me.” 

“I’ll tell you after we get back to Karasuno and find (Y/N).” 

Something like a growl came from Yamaguchi. He tackled Tsukishima to the ground and grabbed his fallen gun. Yamaguchi stubbled up, leaning chained the chair he was tied to for supposed. He aimed it at Yukiji. Yamaguchi's hands were shaking, causing the gun to make a rattling sound. He looked drunk, but to Tsukishima he only looked unpredictable and dangerous. 

Tsukishima got to his feet. “Yamaguchi.” 

“She killed my sister. She was about to tell me something about her and then she started hitting me with that.” He jutted out his chin to the fallen bat. “I want her gone.” 

“I can’t let you do that.” 

Yamaguchi glared at him, his hand stilling for a moment. 

Tsukishima raised his hands and stepped in front of the gun. “Yamaguchi. Don’t.” 

“Tsukishima,” Kageyama called warningly. 

“It’s fine,” Tsukishima said. He met Yamaguchi’s gaze. “I can’t let you kill her.” 

“Why the hell not.” 

“Please, don’t,” said a soft voice from behind them. 

(Y/N) walked into the room with Kuroo behind her. Tsukishima let out a breath. She’s okay. Her eyes were wide and trained on the gun that was in between himself and Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima glared at Kuroo. “You’re supposed to talk her back to Karasuno.” 

“You didn’t tell me how scary she was,” Kuroo countered. “She tripped me when I found her and then lectured me all the way down the hallway. She also threatened to wander around the building by herself. What was I supposed to do? Tackle her?” 

“Yes.” Tsukishima could feel himself smiling. 

“Yamaguchi,” (Y/N) said. She threw an irritated glance at Tsukishima and took a step forward. “Put the gun down.” 

Yamaguchi shook. “My sister would have—” 

“Your sister is dead,” (Y/N) said firmly. Yamaguchi whipped his gaze to her and so did Tsukishima. What was she doing?

“Your sister is dead,” she said again. 

“Stop saying that,” Yamaguchi shouted. 

“You told me that the choices you make are your own. I’ve never met your sister, but would she want to have your conscience burdened with killing someone?”  

Tsukishima looked down. 

(Y/N) took another forward. “You told me that you wouldn’t hurt anyone unnecessarily. I know that you hate Yukiji, but her death is unnecessary. It will hurt Tsukishima because I know he’s going to try to stop you. It will hurt me. And it will hurt you. Don’t let Yukiji control your life anymore.” 

Yamaguchi looked back at him. Tsukishima nodded once, confirming that he would try to stop him even if he was the one with the gun. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but as I said, I only know the bare bones of the situation. The only person who can answer all of your questions is Yukiji. Once she does that, you can choose what we do from there.” 

Yamaguchi looked at (Y/N) again and then threw the gun across the room. “I expect you to keep that promise.” He turned around and walked out. 

After everyone was back at Karasuno, Sugawara took it upon himself to check everyone. Only Azumane and Kinoshita had major injuries—Azumane with a gunshot wound to the shoulder and Kinoshita with one to the leg. Everyone else only had minor injuries. 

Once he checked (Y/N), he told her that she looked okay, but to take it easy just in case—not heavy lifting or strenuous brain activity and to get lots of rest. If she felt even a little bit sick, she was to go to the doctor or come see Sugawara again. 

“You can stay here if you want,” Tsukishima offered. 

(Y/N) hesitated. “Thanks, but I think I want to sleep in my own bed.” 

Tsukishima nodded. He felt like something was off; he couldn’t put his finger on it though. He drove her back to her shop, stopping a few blocks away from it. Yukiji might not be a threat anymore, but he didn’t want to give anyone who might be watching them any ideas. 

“Walk with me?” (Y/N) asked. 

“Of course.” 

“Exciting day,” Tsukishima said, opening the car door for her. 

“More like a terrifying day,” (Y/N) suggested. 

“Like I said, exciting.” 

Silently, they walked hand-in-hand down the street. Occasionally, she would bump her arms against his playfully. They were a little bit away from the store when (Y/N) stopped. Her eyes were shadowed and shiny. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“I don’t want to lie to you, but I feel like I am.” (Y/N) took a deep breath. She took his other hand. 

“(Y/N)—” 

“Wait,” she said. “Let me finish or else I’m never going to say it.” 

He nodded slowly. 

“When I was in there, I wasn’t worried because I knew you would come. Plan or not, I just knew. I thought that I would be scared, but nothing was as terrifying as seeing Yamaguchi hold that gun to you.” 

He swallowed. “He wasn’t going to put the trigger.” 

“It doesn’t matter. I know what I want, Kei,” (Y/N) said, “and I want you. But I can’t live knowing that you are going—or could—die at any time. It makes me feel so scared all of the time. I thought I could do it, but I can’t.”

“I could quit,” he said quickly. “I’ll quit and let Sawamura take over.” 

(Y/N) smiled. “You can’t and we both know that. You love what you do and I know you can’t hand it off like it’s nothing.” 

Tsukishima didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to tell her that she was right. He couldn’t give up something that he’d spent most of his life bundling up to. He wanted to, but he couldn’t. “You’re breaking up with me then?” 

(Y/N) let go of his hands and smiled. “If you ever decide that you want differently —truly want differently— and you could live with yourself without the inevitable violence or putting yourself in harm's way, you know where I’ll be.”

“(Y/N),” Tsukishima whispered. “Please.” 

(Y/N) sniffed and hastily wiped the tears off her cheeks. She took a step forward and placed her hands on either side of his face. She looked at him for a moment. Tsukishima saw a lot in her eyes. Sadness and happiness. Clarity and uncertainty. He saw his future before him; far away, but it was there, like a street light at the end of a dark road. Small, but something that he could work towards. 

She tilted her head up and placed a final kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes. He wanted to remember every breath and touch, every moment that wouldn’t happen until he found his way back. Please don’t let this end. Please let me stay here. Please. 

(Y/N) pulled back. “I’ll be okay,” she said. “Take care of yourself, Kei.” 

She walked a few steps away.

“I’ll wait for you,” he said, “until I’m ready and you’re ready; I will wait.”

(Y/N) turned back and smiled. She shook her head. “No. Don’t do that for me. If you can be happy, then be happy. I don’t want you to miss out on anything life has to offer you because you deserve too much to let it go.” 

“I didn’t say that you have to.” Tsukishima laughed. “But I will,” he said, “You’re worth the wait.” 

Tsukishima watched her go.

Epilogue

Tsukishima sighed and opened the file in front of him. When he took this job, he didn’t expect there to be so much paperwork. He expected no paperwork, but, at the time, he clearly didn’t understand how hard it was to put up a good fake business. 

He missed (Y/N). She made everything seem lighter and easier. He drove to her store sometimes, waiting at his usual spot a few blocks up the street. He wasn’t sure about no-longer-in-a-relationship etiquette, but he was sure that showing up at her store was not the way to go. 

Even after the first week passed, he thought that the feeling of missing her would go away, but it never did. Tsukishima waited another month, and the feeling only grew. 

His gaze drifted to the empty vase on the corner of his desk. If she were still here, there would be flowers in that vase. 

“Tsukishima?” Sawamura stood at the door, his hands behind his back. 

“Is he still down there?” 

“He hasn’t left.” 

They had taken Yukiji back to Karasuno. She was in one of the old rooms that they used to hold people in before they got their secondary locations. The few times they tried talking to her, she had only smirked and looked away. 

Yamaguchi hadn’t left the guarding door, the one that led to the compartment of rooms that Yukiji was in. It was as if he was afraid of her getting away. He wanted answers and the only person who could give them to him wouldn’t say anything. 

Tsukishima might have to talk to her. He avoided that part of their building. Maybe he could make a deal of some kind and get her to talk. Maybe it would ease Yamaguchi’s mind. 

Sawamura walked up to his desk. 

Tsukishima looked up at him. “Sawamura?” 

“Yes?” 

“How would you feel about leading Karasuno?” 

Sawamura’s eyebrows jumped up. “Really?” 

“Not today, maybe not even soon, but one day. I still have to finish some stuff here. You have everyone’s respect, you have mine, and you practically run this place anyways.” 

Once the shock was off, Sawamura looked steady at him. He could see the wheels turning in his brain, wondering why he was offering such a job. But if he noticed anything, he didn’t say it. 

“I would be honoured.” 

Tsukishima nodded. “Good. Did you need something?” 

Sawamura smiled and brought out a bouquet of flowers from behind him. Tsukishima stilled. Red roses. 

“These were in front of the hidden entrance. It’s addressed to you.”  

Tsukishima took them and turned them over in his hand. He could picture (Y/N) making them, sitting behind her counter and carefully wrapping them. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Sawamura said and left the room.

Tsukishima flipped over the note. He smiled at the familiar loops of (Y/N)’s hard writing. He looked back down at the roses on his table and reached over towards the empty vase that sat on the corner of his desk. 

Maybe he would consider his retirement as the leader of Karasuno earlier, just to hear her laugh, see her smile. He promised her that he would take his time and maybe he would too. Either way, he got up and went to fill up the vase, knowing that whatever he chose to do, a happy ending was waiting for him. 

Red Roses

Love runs through our veins to our heart

And my heart is always opened to you

(Y/N)

Hi :) I’m bacckk

Maybe I’m on a Taylor Swift kick (with the release of love story and soon fearless (fearless is probably out by the time I finish) but I always think/listen to Sparks Fly (“my mind forgets to remind me that you’re a bad idea”) when I write this lsdkjfla anyways….

Did I name the character Yukiji halfway through writing this because I finished Kamisama Kiss? Yes, yes I did. Do I absolutely adore Tomoe? Yes, yes I do. 

Also: to anyone who has requested something in early September (?) to November (?) ish (maybe even earlier) and it fell into my portion of requests, I’m so sorry for the wait. They will be up before the end of summer though or hopefully sooner, but I’ll take special care in writing them so that they can be the best they can be. Summer will be full of writing. 

Thank you for waiting. 

I hope that you enjoyed this last bit of the story. Even if it was written over a long period of time (sorry if it doesn’t feel continuous or feels weird (?) this is the first thing I’ve written for a while that’s not academic so it might not be the best...)...I’m not sorry about the ending through kdjfs I think that it would be too easy if everything had a clear-cut happy ending, but if you ask me, they do end up together fully in the happy ending they created for themselves. They just need a bit more time. Sorry about the info dump too...I’m working on that...and if it felt like it fell flat? It felt like that to me...

I had the most fun writing these ones. My knowledge of flowers has grown exponentially and I kind of love flowers now -Kiwi

Ahhehehe Downcline. Now I have to beet Kiwi again for the longest fic TT. though I know just the one that might do it ~Bacon

I would laugh but I would be the one to edit it skjdfk - Kiwi

Posted: 02/05/2021

[biletdoux]

x marks the spot | x.dj

Member | xiaojun (nct) + gender neutral!reader Rating | g Genre + Tropes | childhood friends to lovers!au, idol!xiaojun, romance (fluff) Warning(s) | none, unless you consider badly written fluff something to be wary of lol Length | 5.1k+ Prompts | “Make my wish come true, all I want for Christmas is you.” - Mariah Carey (All I Want for Christmas is You) + “I should be playin’ in the winter snow, I’ma be here under the mistletoe.” - Justin Bieber (Mistletoe) Playlist | All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey // Mistletoe - Justin Bieber  // My Everything - NCT U

Summary | You were five years old when you met your best friend.

(Or; the cycle of waiting and wanting between you and Xiaojun throughout the years.)

Note: For the Walking in a Winter Wonderland Collab hosted by @suh-insane​ and @neocitybynight​! Merry Christmas and have a happy holiday season, everyone <333 let me know what you think!

yo,,, fluff is so hard to write, so mad respect to all the fluff writers out there. 

“Hey—”

You were five years old and had a knack for stating the obvious.

“You’re not Chengxiao!” Your voice was loud and annoying, the shrill ring of it reverberated throughout the open roof. Your index finger, straight and stern, was aimed right at his face in accusation, as if it was a sin to not adhere to your expectations. “Chengxiao was supposed to be here, not you!”

The boy who was indeed not Chengxiao, as you so clearly pointed out, sniffled even louder as he clutched at his toy buccaneer sword. All around you, drying linens and laundry swayed gently in the summer breeze to the sound of his soft sniveling, before he broke out into an all out sob.

You were five years old and also insensitive in the way that five year olds were. 

“Uhm,” you faltered, your pointer finger recoiled back just ever so slightly as his cries continued. 

This was not supposed to happen. You were supposed to be playing hide-and-seek with your building friends and maybe grab a popsicle down the street later once you all tired out. You lost the rock-paper-scissors between everyone and had to be the first seeker. You counted all the way to 100 without even peeking once, even though you were tempted many times when you heard the occasional giggle and scattered footsteps.

Chunyang was always the easiest to find between the three of you. He was also five like you and he always hid on the sixth floor of your shared building, usually behind the large potted plants near the stairway. You actually found him behind the leaky plumbing pipes at the end of the hall, but he was still on the sixth floor nonetheless. 

Chengxiao was different. She was seven years old, two whole years older than you and Chunyang, and she was also much smarter than the two of you. It was always difficult to find Chengxiao because she was more tricky and clever than your one-track minded five year old brain. 

When you found Chunyang, the two of you agreed to split up and search for Chengxiao separately, the first one to find her gets the ultimate bragging rights for the rest of their life. When you shook on the deal, Chunyang immediately took off for the stairs, clumsily bounding down the steps with as much grace as a five year old could muster, which left you with only one option remaining; climbing the flight of stairs to the roof. 

The roof was large and vast, filled with a sea of linen and mismatched laundry drying in the wind. The sun was at its peak in the sky as you started your searching, scouring near and wide for Chengxiao. When you nearly lost hope, you noticed a pair of white sneakers belonging to a person hidden behind a billowing bed sheet. You rushed toward it with all your might, already tasting how a sweet a lifetime of bragging to Chunyang would taste on your lips, but as soon as you yanked back the cloth, your mouth immediately turned sour at the sight of a boy with brown hair and teary eyes. 

Your tone was harsher than you intended, so here you were stuck with a blubbering boy and your lifetime bragging rights out the window. 

“Hey,” you tried again. You were five years old and not very good at comforting people. “My mom says children who cry won’t get any candy until they stop.” 

Unsurprisingly, his cries did not cease and you were scandalized by it. The possibility of no candy left you in shock and awe, so why wasn’t he feeling the same as you?

“Who, hic, cares about candy, hic,” he started, every few words out of his mouth was staccatoed by an uncontrollable hiccup.  “If I can’t see, hic, my friends!” 

“Huh?” you tilted your head to the side. “Why can’t you see your friends anymore?” 

It took a few seconds of blubbered hiccups before the boy answered, “cause we moved far away from them!”

You absorbed his words in quiet consideration. How would candy taste if you had to move away from Chengxiao and Chunyang? Not very good, but… 

“Why don’t you make new friends?” 

“I don’t want new friends! I want, hic, to go back to my old home!” Indignant, he lashed back. “I want to go back, hic, and play pirates with my old friends.” 

“I’ll play pirates with you,” you offered. You didn’t think much about the rest of the words that escaped your mouth either. “I’ll be your friend. I want to be your friend.”

The boy was significantly calmer after shouting out his frustrations. He wiped at his tears and for the first time you had a good look at his brown eyes. You didn’t know it at the time, but the boy, like you, was also five years old, and five year olds calmed down as easily as they lost their temper.

“Do you mean that?” he asked, tone soft and quiet. “Would you really, hic, be my friend?” 

Your smile was brighter than the summer sun that day. “Yeah, of course!”

“Okay,” he agreed.

“Yeah, and I can also show you my friends right now too. We’re playing hide-and-seek.” You grabbed his free hand, the one not holding the toy sword, as you tugged him to get off the roof. He followed obediently without a word. 

“What’s your name, by the way?” You asked over your shoulders, your voice ringing through the roof.

“My name is Xiao Dejun.”

You were five years old when you met your best friend. 

--

The air was crisp with the sharp, but refreshing sting of sea salt as the waves crashed onto the side of your ship. You climbed out onto the main deck to check on the progress of the voyage. The waters were steady and your trusty sea vessel rocked to the rhythm of the ocean. There were no clouds in the sky this far out into the sea and the sunlight blinded your eyes, but you didn’t need to see it to know that the treasure was straight ahead. You took another deep breath to savor the thought of future riches before you turned around to go look for your first mate. 

You traveled the expanse of the main deck before reaching the weathered ratlines. The rope felt coarse to the touch as you climbed all the way up to the crow’s nest. Once you made it, there he was, standing and staring out to the wide ocean, probably lost in thought about gold and jewels. 

“First mate Xiaojun.” you called. 

He turned his head and smiled. “Hey, I was waiting for you.”

You fully climb into the crow’s nest and settle beside him. “We’re about to find the secret buried treasure.” 

“Yes, captain,” he nodded his head in agreement.

“What do you want to do with you half?”

“Hm…” Xiaojun was contemplative. “I’ll need to buy another sword. Mine is getting rusty. What about you?”

“I would like to—”

“Class! Recess is over.” Your teacher, Mrs. Huang, interrupted you before you could finish. “It’s time to head back now.” 

And suddenly your trusty sea vessel was no longer a ship, but actually a small corner of the large school playground. The tethered and hardened ratlines melted away to reveal the metal ladders of the play area and the crow’s nest was the slide tower. The sun, however, remained as bright as ever.

Your first mate looked at you and a mischievous glint crossed his eyes. “I’ll race you to the classroom!” He hollered as he threw himself down the slide and took off running as soon as his feet hit the ground. You were not far behind him as you shrieked for him to slow down. 

You were eight years old and you kept your promise to him about playing pirates. 

The two of you became the best of friends shortly after your encounter on the roof. You grew close to him exceptionally fast when you learned he and his family had moved to the same floor as you and your family. Chengxiao and Chunyang liked him well enough and your tight trio grew to accept a fourth corner. 

When school rolled around, you were delighted to find out he was also enrolled in the same school as you and even was in the same class. Since then, the two of you had been inseparable. 

He beat you to the classroom by a few steps and his smile was dazzling as he gloated to your face. You sneered back at him as you watched his fringe stick to his forehead from sweat. 

“I only lost cause you cheated.” 

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” 

You both sat down in your assigned classroom seating, with him exactly one seat behind you. Mrs. Huang announced it was independent study time, so everyone quietly pulled out their books.

When you pulled out yours, you realized you had broken your pencil and had nothing to write with. You pushed your chair back and leaned over on his desk. 

“Hey Xiaojun, can I borrow a pencil?”

He was still Dejun then, but he was always Xiaojun to you.

He looked annoyed, but went to rummage for his pencil pouch in his backpack anyway. “Don’t call me that unless we’re playing. How many times have I told you to call me Dejun? That’s my name so use it.” 

“But I don’t want to,” you huffed.

“And why is that?” Xiaojun found a suitable pencil and handed it over to you. 

“Because,” you took the writing utensil from his outstretched hand. “You’ll always be my first mate Xiaojun no matter what.” 

You returned back to your desk before you could notice the blush that colored his cheeks and you didn’t turn back to him again for the remainder of the independent study time. You didn’t realize it at the time, but Xiaojun never bothered to correct his name ever since. 

You were eight years old when you became someone special to Xiaojun. 

--

You felt hot and sticky.

Summers in Guangdong were hot and humid in ways that left you gasping for air as if you had been trudging through a thick wall of sludge. The heat was heavy and thick, reminiscent of an unpleasant weighted blanket that wrapped around you at all the wrong times and places. During the summer, the Guangdong sun was angry, and you felt as though its wrath was personal from how intensely the rays would beat down on your back as you hopped from one stall to another. Nonetheless, you were not deterred because you came here on a mission.

You were thirteen years old and wanted to do whatever it took to find your best friend the perfect birthday present. 

You prepared for August 9th tirelessly with impressive care and consideration. You had been casually asking questions and fishing for hints months before the fated date to figure out the most perfect and surefire gift for Xiaojun. When you realized he wanted a new controller for his PlayStation because the ‘X’ on his current one wasn’t working half the times, you knew you had to get him a new one. And so, you started to plan.

Step one was complete. You figured out what Xiaojun wanted, but now step two was in the way. How were you going to get it for him? You were thirteen years old and you had no money. You couldn’t ask your parents for money because then that would mean your parents actually got Xiaojun the present and not you, even though it was your idea. After thinking long and hard, you decided to carefully siphon a small portion of your lunch money each day until you had enough to purchase the controller. Even though the lunch money was from your parents, the money was given to you, so now it’s your money and not your parents’ anymore and you had to work hard to save it, so using this money to buy Xiaojun the gift will be really meaningful.

You were thirteen years old and your logic was a bit off, but your heart was in the right place. 

After months of saving, you finally had enough and couldn’t be happier. You had everything set and just needed to find the time to go out to the electronics store. You were so giddy that you nearly let the big surprise slip one day when you were over at his house. 

It was two days before his birthday and Xiaojun was just at your house yesterday, which meant that today, the two of you would go back to his. Xiaojun’s mother was already used to this and prepared pre-cut slices of fruit for the two of you before the front door even opened. The two of you bowed in thanks before greedily grabbing the plate of fruit before barreling to his room with a large slam of his bedroom door. 

You were laying on his bed munching on an apple slice in your hands and Xiaojun was at his desk on his rolling computer chair with an orange slice in his. Outside of his window, the hustle and bustle of a Guangdong afternoon can be heard, but the noise was far away for you and Xiaojun were in your own quiet little bubble. 

When he finished his orange slice, Xiaojun suddenly perked up. “Hey, you want to see something?” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

He stood up and walked over to his closet to grab a box. Inside, he pulled out two new PlayStation controllers, still in the factory wrapping and all, and your heart dropped. 

“My parents got this for my birthday. They gave it to me early cause I did really well on my exams and they knew my current controller sucks,” he explained. “Want to play that new game? It’ll be so nice to finally have a working ‘X’ button.” 

You felt nauseated and suddenly had to go. You were thirteen years old and you were a little dramatic. 

You never gave Xiaojun a proper explanation for leaving so suddenly that day, but you had bigger problems to deal with. What were you going to do now? Step one was now out the window, but at least you still had the money you saved up, so maybe you can still make this work. It would still be okay because you had one full day tomorrow to go out and shop for his gift. Except that when you returned home, your mom informed you that your extra tutoring classes would be doubled tomorrow because your teacher will be out of town and can’t teach for the next few days. Great.

So that’s how you found yourself here, at the local street market standing under the blazing sun in your tutoring school uniform. It was summer break and your parents signed you up for additional morning classes. By the time you were let off, you’d only have an hour to shop for a gift, until it was time to go to Xiaojun’s party. 

Originally, you thought one hour should be more than enough, but as you drifted from one stall to another, you realized no one had anything just right for Xiaojun and you already promised yourself you were going to get something perfect for him, and you didn't break your promises. By the time you found something perfect for him, you didn’t realize 55 minutes had passed. When you checked the time, your eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. You were definitely going to be late. You paid the stall lady and barely waited for change as you made a mad dash toward Xiaojun’s apartment.

When you arrived, Xiaojun’s mother greeted you warmly and let you in. “He was waiting for you. He refused to start without you.”

Xiaojun had a small party with only close friends and you were the last to arrive. You felt embarrassed initially, but that was soon forgotten when the party started. 

When it was time to open the presents, Xiaojun saved yours for last, in fact, he didn’t open it until all the guests left and it was only the two of you with his parents cleaning the aftermath of the party in the background. 

He carefully pulled apart the hastily wrapped box and you held your breath in anticipation. He held up the keychain in the air to show the leather strap next to a metal charm in the shape of a ship’s helm. Xiaojun said nothing for a whole minute and suddenly you started to doubt yourself. 

“Thank you,” he breathed. “I love it.” 

His smile made your breath hitch.

You were thirteen years old when your heart started to feel lopsided in ways it had never had before.

--

The paper sitting in front of you was due soon and yet it was still there on your desk, unfinished, as if it were mocking you. You felt annoyed, but you knew at the end of the day this was your fault and only you could fix this, but no matter how hard you grasped your pen, you could not urge words of ink to spill out and fill the page. You were not sure how long you stared at the page, but you knew you had to do something about it. 

You were seventeen years old and you were lost.

With an indignant huff, you grabbed the sheet of paper and marched all the way to Xiaojun’s apartment. Xiaojun’s parents were out, so it was Xiaojun himself who let you in. He was surprised to see you, but welcomed you warmly, glad to see you face.

“Hey,” he already started to make his way back to his room after shutting the front door, not even bothering to look back to see if you were going to follow because he knew you were. “What’s up?” 

Immediately after entering Xiaojun’s room, you plopped yourself face down onto his pillow while holding up the white sheet of paper in the air. “This is killing me,” you groaned.

Xiaojun chuckled before taking hold of the paper. His eyes widened when he read its content. “You haven’t filled it out yet?” 

This sheet of paper was going to determine your whole future. This sheet was going to be your priority list of which colleges you wanted to apply for and which major you were going to study, so your teacher could help narrow it down for you and give you some career counseling. 

“I don’t know what to put,” you whined. “Help me, Xiaojun.”

“Okay, okay, do you know what school or major you’re interested in?” 

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be here.” 

“Fair point. Uhm. What’s the best school you think you can get in?” 

“I don’t know, maybe some local university?” 

“Okay… and major?” 

“I don’t know, whatever department is easiest to get into I guess.” 

Xiaojun gave you a pointed look. “Come on, take this seriously.” 

You were seventeen years old and you were frustrated. 

“I don’t know, Xiaojun! I really don’t have any clue whatsoever and everyone around me is so disappointed because I have no direction, but trust me, I can guarantee you that I’m much more disappointed than everyone around me.” 

Xiaojun’s eyes softened and he moved to sit on his bed near your defeated figure. He rubbed your back gently and his tone was sincere. “I’m not disappointed in you. I could never be disappointed in you.”

You looked up at him before opening your arms wide open for a hug, which Xiaojun granted easily. The two of you laid there in easy comfort despite the impending unknown future that loomed overhead, casting a shadow of doubt in its wake. When you were with Xiaojun, none of that mattered. 

After a while, your head perked up from its place on top of Xiaojun’s arms as you looked at him. “Wait, what about you? Did you fill it out? What do you want to be?” 

Xiaojun laughed, “yeah, I did.” 

You waited expectantly, but he said nothing. You grew annoyed. “Well? What’d you put?”

Xiaojun looked at you. His eyes were soft and warm, but you could see some faint traces of hesitation, like a surface of still water had been disturbed. The pit of your stomach dropped and you felt your throat go dry with nervous tension.

“I want to be a singer.” 

You punched him lightly. “You scared me, cause you got all serious for a second.” You laughed out loud, as if a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. “You’re for sure going to be the best singer in all of China, no, the whole world! And I’m going to be there every step of the way to support you, Xiaojun.” 

“Okay,” he smiled softly, but his tone was almost bittersweet as though he was trying to pull back. “That’s good to hear.” 

“Why are you acting so weird? This is not like you at all.” 

He said nothing at first, but then his words hit you. All the weight off your shoulder earlier returned tenfold. “I was casted. I’m flying to South Korea next week.”

Your heart was pounding as you tried to make sense of the words that left his mouth. You remembered the first time he confided you in absolute confidence about his dreams and aspirations. You remembered countless hours he put into singing and you remembered how often he would stream videos of singers he admired. You remembered all of it.

“I’m,” you started. “I’m so happy for you, Xiaojun. This is it, this is the start of your dream. I couldn’t be more proud of you, Xiaojun, I mean it.” 

The sincerity in your tone had Xiaojun choking on his words and he didn’t know what to say. All that left his mouth was, “what do you want to be?” 

“Me?” Your chest felt heavy. “I think I just want to be happy.”

“Yeah,” he hummed. “I want you to be happy too.” 

A week later, you saw Xiaojun off at the airport. He exchanged tearful goodbyes with his parents and suddenly he was standing in front of you. His eyes looked at you expectantly, as if waiting for something that you were not sure you were able to procure for him. You gave him the biggest hug you were able to muster and hoped all the unsaid things could be transferred through touch. The two of you stayed in each other’s arms until his flight was called. With a final wave, he was off, and when he turned around to walk toward his terminal, you saw a keychain with a metal charm and an old worn down leather strap hanging from one of the zippers of his carry-ons.

You were seventeen years old when you felt your heart swell with undeniable pride, yet break simultaneously. 

--

You missed Xiaojun.

You were twenty-one years old when you came to terms with your feelings for your best friend. It was not an earth-shattering, cosmic-altering, reality-bending epiphany, but rather a quiet revelation followed by unspoken acceptance.

You were currently sitting in economy class on a flight en route to Seoul, South Korea. You had still kept in contact with him throughout the years he was out there pursuing his dreams. You decided to enroll in the local university and you picked a major on a whim. Despite the circumstances, you had really come to terms with it and grew to like it. You were now working hard at developing a solid career from it and you felt proud of yourself. 

When text messages and video calls became few and far between for you and Xiaojun due to busy schedules and time zone differences, you knew he was something more than just a friend. Your heart fluttered whenever you heard his specially assigned notification tone. You felt giddy each time before you opened his message and you read each text at least three times before sending a reply. When you don’t hear from him on days on end due to his busy schedule, time passed by at an unbearable pace. 

Xiaojun made his debut and you were one of the first to pre-order his albums. You constantly gushed and raved about his singing and his dancing. You stayed up countless nights to let Xiaojun vent and de-stress over video call despite having to sacrifice precious hours of sleep. True to your word, you were there with Xiaojun every step of the way while he achieved his dreams, but he was also there for you when you figured out your path. He was there to listen and offer advice as you considered one career path over the other and which internship to take. The two of you were there for each other. 

Due to the very nature of growing up and what that entailed, both of you were very busy and the timing was always slightly off. When you were free, he had to go on tour, but when he was free, you had to go out of town for your internship. As such, you were twenty-one years old and had not had a chance to see your best friend in person for nearly four years since he left for South Korea.

But this year, for the winter holidays, it was going to be different. You were going to make time to go see him no matter what. You were firm on the requested days off and you booked the flight weeks in advance. Xiaojun was kept in the loop of your meticulous holiday planning at all times to ensure that he could free up his schedules at just the right time to see you. 

The two of you never actually expressed your changing feelings for one another, but perhaps you didn’t need to. You had known each other practically your whole lives and what is a relationship if not the constant changing and finetuning of the little details? 

You weren’t blind to the consistent ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts you received from Xiaojun each day without fail, nor was he blind to your constant fretting if he had eaten yet and how he should always be taking care of himself. It was the little things that sung of true love. 

When the two of you had the chance to video call, his eyes would light up with a smile to match and you feel your soul ache in the most tender of ways. The two you lingered longer than necessary when it came to ‘goodbyes,’ but it was to be expected. 

You smiled to yourself thinking about him as you looked outside the plane window. Your flight was landing soon and you felt your anxiety gnaw at your joints while your hesitancy took a bite of your lungs. When you landed, you felt as though the ligaments in your body rusted over and each breath of air you took never seemed like enough to flow through your system. You took a few more deep breaths to center yourself before getting up to leave the plane. 

You managed to calm yourself down a substantial amount, but you felt it lurk back behind you as a sudden chill traveled up your spine during the taxi ride to Xiaojun’s dorm. It threatened to seize you by the throat, but then you realized, this was Xiaojun you were coming to see. 

The same Xiaojun who cried easily and had a pirate phase through most of his childhood. The same Xiaojun who took long bites in between food and would lose in arm wrestling matches. The same whose voice could reach unknown heights with a dedication and devotion to match. The same Xiaojun who was your best friend since childhood. The same Xiaojun whom you loved.

And with that, whatever haunted you dissipated and you found yourself at the steps of his dorm. You watched as your breath came out in chilly wisps as you knocked on the door. The sound of padded footsteps ambling along hardwood floors were heard and suddenly you were face to Xiaojun after a whole four years without him. 

The two of you took each other in. Video calling did not do Xiaojun justice. He really matured into his features over the years and you couldn’t help, but stare. 

Xiaojun broke the silence first. “Hey, you.” 

“Hey, you yourself,” you breathed.

“Come on, don’t just stand there,” Xiaojun ushered as he helped you grab your luggage. “It’s cold outside.” 

You followed him as he led you to his room. You looked around with curiosity as you passed by. The WayV dorm was cozy, but surprisingly empty, not that you minded. When you got to his door, Xiaojun saw the look on your face and knew exactly what you were thinking.

“Everyone’s out right now,” he explained. “I can formally introduce you to them when they get back.”

You nodded and watched as Xiaojun placed his hand on the door knob, before stopping in hesitation. He looked at you in earnest. “Promise me you won’t laugh, okay?” 

“Nothing can phase me, Xiaojun. I practically lived at your house and vice versa, or did a few years abroad make you forget that already?” You teased.

He gave you a look, but opened the door for you nonetheless. You expected a messy room with random socks strewn on the floor and the desk chair stacked high with a pile of clothes, but what greeted you nearly took your breath away.

The floor was spotless and fairy lights lined the walls and occasionally looped around the floor. There was a small Christmas tree in the corner dimpled with various ornaments of various sheen and sparkles. Xiaojun led you to the center of the room where the various colored fairy lights crossed one another’s path. A mistletoe tied on the fanlight hung overhead. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered.

Xiaojun smiled as he drew you in closer. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time. I really wanted it to be something special. Merry Christmas.” 

You started to tear up as you moved to meet Xiaojun in the middle, “I love you, Xiaojun.” 

You were twenty-one years old when you kissed your best friend. His lips were soft and his tongue sweet. He tasted vaguely of vanilla lip balm and peppermint bark, he tasted like the love of your life. 

When you pull back from the kiss, the adoration in his eyes made you greedy for another, so you dove back in, but not before Xiaojun can let out a quick laugh and a reaffirmation. 

“I love you, too.” 

The two of you kissed and kissed again, under the mistletoe. 

You were twenty-one years old and you were happy.

masterlist.