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#also now that i think about it why is he clearly attracted to him ?? romantically it’s clear
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Actually fuck my therapist for saying ‘but is your delusion actually true though?’ because of all the unhelpful things to ask someone who’s grip on reality is already tenuous…
#and now I’m obsessing over what’s true and what’s not which like come on man#this is the delusion about being in love with/attracted to this guy#which I’m not because I am not attracted to men and the idea of kissing or fucking him either makes me laugh or want to throw up so I think#I can safely say I’m not attracted to him#it’s just the delusion ties into my erotomania in general which is crappy because it feels more real#I do like the feeling of the delusion though#like when I’m really fully out of touch with reality and caught up in it it’s quite a lovely feeling#like a really easy all encompassing love#which is why it’s also easy to believe it’s true#but for the aforementioned reasons it is not true#and with my therapist saying that kind of shit I was like dude actually come on. like why would you say that?#if someone has identified that something is a symptom of psychosis; even if You think it’s actually true how would you know better than me?#and why would you say something that would make my grip on reality even less secure when you know I just came out of an episode?#why would you ever say ‘but have you considered you are actually deluding yourself still?’ to someone who’s psychotic?? that’s evil.#anyway clearly I’m more mad about this than I thought but turns out people setting off your psychosis freaks a person out!#anne speaks#yes it happening like two or three times is a coincidence and also makes me freaked out it’s true but why would you feed that fear?#and just to clarify I am not romantically attracted or platonically attracted to him because I suppose that would be attraction too.#he’s kinda funny and I don’t mind playing cards with him at the euchre club (where we met and where I see him and the delusion is sparked)#but he’s a homophobic and transphobic redneck capitalist#so not really my type let’s just say that#I suppose I didn’t know that when the delusion started. but I do know it now and if it was a real crush it would’ve died a terrible death#once I knew that#anyway. I need to get out of the brain loop of obsessing over it or it’ll become like ocd#thanks again; therapist! love this for me
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hannieehaee · 11 months
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18 + / mdi
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content: boyfriend!mingyu & bf'sbestfriend!wonwoo, smut, afab reader, cucking (idk if this is the right term honestly), penetrative sex, mentions of oral, pov switches to wonwoo's pov like three paragraphs in, this is mostly wonwoo x reader ngl, etc.
part 2
wc: 3343
a/n: this is a continuation to mingyu's part of this reaction !!
masterlist
you'd known wonwoo for a good while now. being mingyu's girlfriend for over a year, you'd grown used to the company of his roommate, who was usually around whenever you'd go visit mingyu at their shared apartment.
it was easy to get along with wonwoo. he was an easy-going guy and also easy on the eyes, and just overall likable. you liked to think that the feeling was mutual, wanting to get along well with mingyu's best friend. you'd occasionally hang out one on one whenever you'd incidentally arrive to mingyu's apartment early, only to be let in by wonwoo. he was a gentleman, so he'd entertain you during mingyu's absence, telling you stories about the boy and at some points discussing shared interests with you.
what you didnt know was that wonwoo did like you. more than you wouldve hoped, actually.
wonwoo had known you for as long as mingyu, having been there when the two of you first met. the three of you had started off as simple acquaintances, up until mingyu decided he just had to have you, thus making you his. wonwoo had been happy for his friend, knowing mingyu to be a hopeless romantic at heart. yes, he admits, he mightve been attracted to you when you first met, but he quickly got over it upon finding out his best friend had a crush on you, even encouraging him to ask you out. having you in his immediate life proved to be interesting. it turned out that you two had a lot in common, with your personalities even aligning perfectly. that mightve explained why he was mingyu's best friend and you his best friend's girlfriend. mingyu clearly had a type.
over time, as wonwoo got to know you better, his long-gone crush seemed to want to make a comeback. what had previously been just physical attraction had turned into something more upon getting to know you. nothing ever happened to trigger his feelings, but there was only so much of your constant proximity that he could handle before his feelings resurfaced. which is where he now found himself. crushing on his best friend's pretty girlfriend, forced to occasionally join in on your dates as the perpetual third wheel.
despite any of his unreasonable emotions, he knew the feeling was not mutual, and more than that, he would never do that to his best friend. so, he did what any reasonable person would do and shoved his feelings deep within him, internally slapping himself any time his head went places it shouldn't. but that could only last so long.
it was a regular day. wonwoo had gone to the company, done his usual idol business and come back, now awaiting mingyu's arrival. except wonwoo was met with your presence instead. wonwoo had been expecting mingyu, remembering that he had told the boy about a movie they should watch together as soon as they had some extra down time. that day being today, now that they were finally back from promotions in japan and could go back to their regular schedules. he opened the door after hearing a few knocks, assuming mingyu mightve misplaced his keys again. except he was not met with his six foot tall friend upon opening the door, but instead you. it had been a while since he'd seen you. hell, it had probably been a while since mingyu had seen you. theyd just been so busy lately. he let you in, muttering a quick 'hello', avoiding eye contact a bit and stepping aside to allow you in. before he could close the door back up, you stopped him.
"oh, wait. gyu's coming up. he got us food for the movie!"
oh. had mingyu asked you to join?
his face mustve told on him, since you spoke up again almost immediately.
"is it okay im here? i can go, i know you guys are tired, i-"
the last thing he wanted you to feel was unwelcome. his stupid crush shouldnt get in the way of what was now a friendship between the two of you.
"no! stay, please. do you guys want privacy? we just came back, you must wa-"
this time you interrupted him. "no, not at all! stay, please. i love hanging out with you, nonu, you know that."
calling him by a cute nickname was not helping this for wonwoo, nor was the pretty smile you were throwing him. but he'd have to sit through an entire movie night like this, he realized.
the following thirty or so minutes went the way you'd imagine. mingyu had arrived soon after, with way too much food for three people and prepared the perfect setting for an enjoyable night between the three. wonwoo could tell his friend was beaming at the thought of finally spending a relaxing night with his two favorite people. this made him feel guilty, but he had to admit, he felt the same giddyness at the concept. in logical fashion, you and mingyu sat next to each other, slightly cuddled up while wonwoo sat on the smaller couch right next to the two of you. the three of you watched the movie for a little while, only ever speaking up every once in a while to comment on the movie. things went like this until mingyu suddenly spoke up, clapping his hands as if he suddenly remembered something.
"won! i almost forgot!", he paused the movie, sitting up from leaning against you, "i told y/n id show her the pictures we took in japan, come here!", his friend seemed so overly excited at the idea, almost vibrating as be waited for wonwoo to come sit next to him.
wonwoo made the mistake of moving his eyes a little to the left while looking at his friend, only to catch your expectant gaze as you also waited for him to close the distance. but it was enough to get him to get up and take a close seat next to mingyu, making the tall man the only separation between you and him.
mingyu had already pulled out his phone, scrolling through his gallery and stopping every few seconds to explain where the picture was, who took it and why they had edited it the way they did. he explained every minor detail while you looked at him, full attention on him. wonwoo liked that about you. it was something you did when speaking to him too. you'd always show full interest, even sharing a passion for photography and editing as he did. there had been occasions in which wonwoo himself had shown you his photography, only to be always met with praise and genuine curiosity at his skill.
they both explained the pictures, with mingyu holding the phone at an angle where both you and wonwoo could see the screen perfectly. mingyu had full control of the phone, not thinking much as he stopped by every single picture and made a few comments, allowing space each time for wonwoo's own commentary and your praise of their skills. it was a heartwarming moment for wonwoo, really. until it turned into a moment that warmed something else in him.
mingyu, in his overexcited state, was clearly not thinking much of it as he swiped picture after picture, not realizing that if he scrolled too far, he'd end up where he was now.
it was a picture of you. a very pretty picture, if wonwoo had anything to say about it. you were laying in what he could only assume to be mingyu's bed, shirt off and very very cute sheer panties covering your lower half. your face wasnt in it, only your lips. but your body was practically on full display. wonwoo had to commend you for your artistic eye. that picture could cause any man to swim across the pacific ocean just to see the contents of it in the flesh. or at least thats how wonwoo felt in that moment. time felt frozen as he stared at the image. silence had filled the room as none of you reacted. until mingyu finally unfroze, locking his phone and throwing it on the table, cursing loudly at his mistake. but the damage had been done.
wonwoo felt ashamed at his current state. he couldnt look up, only staring down at his lap as he thought of the image that was now imprinted in mind. why did he have to see that? his crush on you was already getting out of hand. there was no way be could ever look you in the eye again. but his brain, once more, betrayed him. he looked up slowly, instantly meeting your gaze. you looked as flustered as he felt, eyes widened and cheeks flushed. fuck. your face reminded him of one he had seem before. a few months back when he'd accidentally bumped into you after what he couldve only assumed to be a night well-spent with his best friend, same flushed cheeks and widened eyes, except this time you were missing the disheveled look you had carried that time.
you and wonwoo seemed unable to break eye contact, with both your gazes becoming heavier by the second. what had felt to wonwoo like minutes of agony staring into your eyes were only a few seconds to mingyu, who immediately spoke up after having thrown his phone on the table.
"baby, i'm so fucking sorry, i-" he had turned his body towards you, emphasizing how badly he felt at the position he put you under, but your eyes hadnt left wonwoo's, nor had his left yours.
you interrupted him, only breaking eye contact with wonwoo for a few seconds. "it's okay, gyu," your eyes now facing wonwoo again, "right, nonu?", your voice was sultry, only tightening up his pants even more than the initial shock of the image had.
"y-yeah."
mingyu seemed to catch on quickly after that, almost as if he'd been expecting this. he turned to his friend, still not 100% certain, "wonwoo. are you sure?"
there had been nothing wonwoo had ever been more sure about it. he broke eye contact with you for the first time in the past minute and responded, "yes."
~
"there's gonna be rules, okay?"
the three of you were now in mingyu's (and practically your) room, still fully clothed but all on the bed, already completely out of breath from the mere thought of what was about to happen. wonwoo felt like an animal. he felt himself have to put physical effort into holding back from jumping you. the way you'd been looking at him for the past while had him going insane, knowing now that the feeling was mutual.
"what are the rules?", wonwoo's eyes were still on you.
"any-" mingyu was about to speak when you interrupted him, still holding onto wonwoo's full attention.
"anything goes, except no marks and you have to be willing to share me. gyu's a bit possessive, right baby?", you stated matter-of-factly, almost in a rehearsed manner.
"wait. you've discussed this before?"
mingyu neared you, beginning to undress you from behind, giving wonwoo the perfect view of your clothing disappearing. 'we have. you're not exactly subtle, hyung.'
what? had you two known about his crush on you this whole time? he was so sure he'd kept it at bay almost expertly. had he just been embarrassing himself this whole time?
"its okay, nonu. we've discussed this. we're okay with it if you are. right, gyu?", you looked over your shoulder at the man who had now removed your shirt and shorts, leaving you in panties and a bra, much to wonwoo's dismay.
"i- are you sure? what does this mean? you-"
"hyung, dont over think it. you want her, dont you? you're my best friend, im willing to share."
well, what kind of fool would argue with that logic?
wonwoo decided to take advantage of the opportunity while it was there, approaching you as mingyu stepped aside, undressing his own self as he watched you and wonwoo.
wonwoo was entirely unsure of himself, not knowing how or where to begin. luckily for him, you seemed to take pity on him, grabbing his arms and placing them on your waist, pulling him closer to you.
"you dont have to be nervous. i want you too," you smiled sweetly at him, lifting his chin so he would look at you.
the proximity made him heat up, almost forgetting his friend, who had now sat down on the bed, perfect angle to watch him and you.
you leaned up slowly, lightly placing your lips on wonwoo's in a sweet peck. wonwoo sighed against your lips at this, letting his shoulders fall from their rigid posture and leaning against you, opening his lips a bit. you took advantage of this, meekly slipping your tongue inside his mouth as he tightened his hands around your waist, allowing his own tongue to play with yours.
kissing you was something he had imagined before; never too vividly out of respect for his best friend, but it was something he had wanted to do, never thinking he'd actually get to.
you and him kissed softly for a while, until you seemed to grow frustrated at the light kisses and began to incite him for more. your kissing became rougher, nibbling at his lower lip and sucking at his tongue, rendering him lightheaded. he moaned against your mouth, beginning to match your pase. he moaned even louder the moment he felt your hands guide his own to your breasts, which were now bare. when had you taken your bra off ..? it didn't matter, really. now he could feel the pebbles on your chest against his palms, pinching at them as you mewled softly into bis mouth. all that could be heard was the smacking of your mouths, along with the soft breaths you kept taking against each other, utterly pleased at the feeling of the softness of the other's lips.
until mingyu interrupted.
suddenly soft moaning could be heard from beside them. wonwoo reluctantly pulled away from you, looking to the side, only to find his best friend with his eyes closed, head thrown back as he had his hand under his boxers, clearly getting off at the sounds of the two of you. you didnt stop kissing wonwoo in the meantime, insistent on licking and biting softly against his neck. the softness of your touches was making wonwoo go insane. he was no longer himself, but more of a shell of what used to be, wanting to give you all control of his pleasure. which he did.
he allowed you to undress him slowly, running your hands slowly up and down his chest, kissing at him every time you uncovered a new bit of skin. you bit and licked at his nipples, making wonwoo discover a sensitive spot he didnt even know about.
he enjoyed your attentiveness, but felt a small tug in the back of his mind at the thought of your boyfriend sitting nearby, simply watching.
"gyu, baby," you finally said after having laid wonwoo down on the bed, sitting on top of him while looking to the side at your boyfriend, "how do you wanna do this?"
wonwoo simply sat there, afraid that if he said anything he'd break the spell. he was willing to take whatever you gave him. he was already addicted to the sight of your bare body on top of him, somehow beating the picture he had seen just twenty minutes ago.
"do whatever you want, baby. have your fun n then ill eat his cum out of you n fill you with mine, sound good?", he slurred, seemingly rubbing at himself at a snail pace in order to savor the sight in front of him.
in any other instance, wonwoo wouldnt have understood why mingyu was getting off at the sight of his best friend and his girlfriend fucking, but it was you. wonwoo would also give anything to see you in the throes of passion from a third person perspective, so he felt no judgement for his friend as he practically tuned him out.
"you heard him, nonu. how do you want me?", you asked sweetly, caressing his skin softly while stopping to rub at his nipples every once in a while.
wonwoo was fucked. he felt the ability to speak leave him completely. he was rendered completely useless, a doll for you to play with however you wanted. but his sight right now was one he wanted to commit to memory, so mustering all his willpower, he lifted his hands and placed them on your hips, pressing you closer against him.
"like this, baby. please," that earned a whine from gyu, who was still self-inflicting the most painful pleasure imaginable by edging himself at the sight of you.
he humphed at wonwoo, "no! get a different pet name. shes my baby."
wonwoo chuckled at this, but nodded over at his friend. "fine. like this, princess. yeah?"
you nodded at wonwoo, quickly adjusting yourself so you could easily slip him inside you, but only after being interrupted by mingyu again, reminding you to slip on a condom, "because you were only his to fuck raw."
"gyu, baby. like this? have a good angle? need me to move?"
"no, baby. you're perfect. now bounce on him for me, yeah? wanna see my pretty girl feel good," all his words were slurred, going on almost ten minutes of watching yours and wonwoo's foreplay.
"'kay baby. are you ready, nonu? wanna feel me?", you leaned down to kiss at him again, seemingly loving the feeling of your lips connecting as much as wonwoo did.
he nodded, felling you up as be awaited the upcoming feeling of your warmth wrapping around him.
your descent drove wonwoo insane. he doesnt think he's ever moaned that loudly before, nor does he think he's ever seen a prettier sight than your blissed out face as you felt him fill you up. the contrast of your movements right now compared to your soft touches earlier was laughable. it seemed like something had possessed you, making you bounce and grind on wonwoo at an animalistic pace, moaning incessantly at the feeling of his cock filling you up.
wonwoo was different from you, as his reaction was just pure bliss from the feeling of you, humping upwards with a lack of rhythm; just animalistic instinct to get himself as deep inside you as possible.
mingyu could be heard moaning from the background. you'd occasionally disconnect your eyes from wonwoo's form to make eyes at your boyfriend, giving him even more material for jacking off.
it went on like this until you began to near your end, which is when wonwoo believes he went truly insane. you began to grind at an angle that would bring gratification to your clit, practically crying on his cock. your hands went up to play with your nipples, stimulating yourself as much as possible. wonwoo wanted nothing more than to make you meet your end, grabbing harsher onto your hips and guiding your movements. he leaned up to kiss and suck at your tits, making you throw your head back and quicken your movements even more. you were in heaven and so was he. mingyu seemed to be too, as when wonwoo peeked a look at him he was practically crosseyed at the sight of you, arched back whining on his friend's cock.
your ends found you almost simultaneously. mingyu had been first, finally allowing himself to reach his high after edging himself for so long. soon followed wonwoo, spilling into the condom, causing you to cum at the sight of his pleasure. it took a bit for all of you to catch your breaths, staying silent for a bit until wonwoo broke the silence.
"shit. please tell me this isnt a one time thing."
you and gyu giggled at each other. wonwoo hoped that was a good sign.
a/n: lol lmk if u want a cont. with gyu's part
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Soooo. The new Helluva Boss pride thing and that comment about Striker and Stella not being there. I am genuinely more and more irritated by this "Strikers Straight" horse shit as time goes on.
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Really? This guy is your no-pride straight homophobe? -_-
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How in any way was this scene not homosexual in nature. Like am I just stupid or what? Striker was specifically latching onto how Blitz is strong and impressive for making his own business and gassing him up over it even before there was a need to to still carry out his assassination "Not many imps start businesses on their own... thats pretty impressive sir". There's clear admiration there. He suggests Stolas dying would be good because it would end "the one who treats you like a plaything" he implies he'd like to see Stolas dead not only for his own sake and for his hate of royals, but for Blitz's sake too. Like, HELLO!?
I'm sorry but the more I look back on it, the whole Striker's straight thing does feel like a retcon. He wasn't originally. I believe that he was changed, because he's mean about Stolas and "good ones" rich people, and we can't have that. He's an antagonist to Stolitz AND a potential "shipped with Blitz" character so he's not a pet/favoured villain or morally grey character. No, instead hes just full on MEANIE BAD!!!! Who's only purpose is creating Stolitz drama. Making him straight is a way of trying to make him boring and more laughable to the yaoi obsessed audience (if you like gay male ships YOU ARE FINE I DO TOO I'm specifically talking about the ones who take it to a fetishistic degree and are raging misogynists). The less Striker is able to be paired up with other male characters in this show, the less value he has outside of being a joke and the less interest in exploring relationships with him there will be since so often do only gay male relationships get to have any interesting depth. Note how other male characters who aren't in gay relationships are treated by this show, COUGH MOXXIE.
And you know what the saddest part of this is to me? In this one single Striker and Blitz scene, they literally had more chemistry and were a more interesting dynamic than Stolitz despite several episodes of that god awful ship. Think about it. They both have clear admiration and respect for each other, interest in each other. They've both been mistreated by royals and had rough pasts so understand each other on that level. They've both had to claw their way to success at the cost of great struggle. So now, they're conflicted. Because they're both obstacles to each other as much as they are love interests. Striker does not want to compromise slaughtering royals and wants to do his job. Blitz wants to preserve his business. They are competing over their goals in life while also attracted to each other. They are a "toxic" or complicated ship without there having to be a creepy unaddressed power dynamic and without the empowered one constantly needing to be portrayed as victimized by the narrative to try and make the relationship seem more even and less creepy.
This is so much more interesting as a kind of "relationship that never could be", to me, than "OMG my daddy bought me that imp for a day as a child then he randomly reappeared into my life again and stole from me, so now I will hold his business over his head to get sex from him and constantly demean him. All while he clearly indicates that he is repulsed by me. Then I will proceed to cry he doesn't like me romantically!"
But no. Striker doesn't get to be bi or gay. However, pan IS slapped onto several female characters... THAT NEVER GET ANY SCENES WITH WOMEN LIKE STRIKER GOT WITH BLITZ. Good fucking God man! If you're gonna make all these supposed women that like women, WHY DO NONE OF THEM BARELY EVER EXPRESS INTEREST IN WOMEN THAT WE GET TO SEE!?
Only the men's sexualities are actively shown. The women, we need to be told what their sexuality is. Because Viv hardly ever bothers with pairing them with anyone or letting them express sexual behaviors. Tiring.
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eddiesghxst · 11 months
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PRICE OF FAME (PART 8/12)
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18+ — MINORS DNI
pairing: rockstar!eddie x journalist!reader
summary: eddie is bad with words
contains: enemies to lovers trope, smoking, drug and alcohol use, sexual themes, moreee jealous!eddie, mentions of piercings, smut, King James III, flirting, tension tension tension, and eddie being... idk, here u go <3
word count: 6.2k
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| series masterlist | -main masterlist- |
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“A date?”
The room has kicked into an orderly chaos compared to how it was just seconds ago. Richie is rallying the boys out of the room, an assistant is walking through with a trash bag to clean up the disastrous aftermath of pre-show rituals, and James is looking at you like you both have all the time in the world.
“Yeah, I mean… we don’t have to call it a date,” he shrugs, “we can just… hang out, maybe? Grab a bite to eat, maybe? Whatever you want.”
And oh god, Eddie was right.
And fuck— Eddie.
You scan the room for any sign of Eddie, but you find none, just the remains of smoke in the air and an irritated assistant picking up sticky bottles.
James’ hand has dropped from your waist, and his fingertips now lightly dance across the back of your hand, slinking around to grasp two of your fingers and give a light squeeze. Your heart races, eyes snapping back to his kind gaze. “Oh, um… okay, yeah.” You nod.
James smiles and tells you he’ll be out in the crowd with you in a little bit, and you nod before making your way out of the room. 
You said yes.
You said yes to James’ date, and honestly, a small part of you is excited because, god, it’s been such a long time since you’ve been on a date.
It’s hard to find time to date when you’re busy jumping from band to band, writing articles and music reviews, and still, somehow, managing to balance your own home life.
However, you were also under the impression that you and James had more of a friendship than anything romantic, so a bigger part of you is shocked (and slightly annoyed that Eddie managed to catch onto it before you did).
And then there’s that feeling. That tiny feeling in the corner of your mind that just wishes it was Eddie who had asked you. It’s a small feeling, yes, but it has a loud voice, and you find yourself growing irritated that you’re even thinking about Eddie when he only ever made things difficult.
But is it wrong to want somebody who doesn’t know what they want for themselves? Is it wrong to want someone who can’t even bring themselves to look you in the eye and be honest for one minute?
Because it’s no secret, the chemistry brewing between you and Eddie, from the moment you met, there was an obvious attraction, and the only thing that got in the way of that was Eddie’s aversion towards your job— which is beyond your control. 
And though there’s obviously a sexual attraction between you both, you can’t seem to deny the emotional connection you also share— because you and Eddie are more alike than what meets the eye.
Clearly, you both share a love for music, but you also grew up with similar experiences— from being teased for being and liking different things than your peers to having your heart broken by who you imagined would be your forever person.
God, why are you thinking about Eddie when you’ve just scored a date with James? 
You’re not paying attention when you step out of the dressing room, so you’re shocked and slightly spooked when you feel a hand wrapping around your bicep and tugging you off to the side of the door.
It’s Eddie; you know it’s Eddie because you’ve become an expert at depicting Eddie’s scent, and right now, you’re drowning in him. 
Eddie’s eyes are sharp and angry with a chilling undertone of something you can’t quite pinpoint. Fear? Jealousy? Resistance?
“Not into each other, huh?”
You blink at Eddie, still trying to find your way through the daze of events you’ve just gone through, and your eyebrows furrow in annoyance, “Oh, for fucks sake, Eddie. Are you serious—” “You can’t stand here and lie to me when I just witnessed whatever the fuck that was in there.” He gestures to the wall beside you, the wall that separates you and Eddie from James.
“It wasn’t anything.” You lie. 
Eddie doesn’t buy it, however, because he’s leaning in closer, alcohol and mint-coated breath fanning across your face as he calmly asks, “Then what did he say?”
You shake your head, dizzy with his proximity and the fear that James could walk out any second and see you and Eddie practically pressed against each other and misread the situation— because even though you may not precisely like James romantically, you still care for him, and you don’t want to hurt his feelings. 
How will you let him down easily after the date, then? What if the date goes well, and James thinks you’re more interested in him than you actually are? This is a mess, and your mind is a whirlwind of things you shouldn’t have done.
You blink through the haze once again, “Huh?”
Eddie’s jaw ticks, “What did he say to you? You looked shocked; what’d he say?”
Oh god, Eddie saw that? You thought he’d maybe have gotten bored of watching, and now you wish Richie had bursted through the doors just a few seconds earlier. And why do you even care? Why do you care that Eddie saw or what his reaction might be if you tell him the truth? 
Your heart is racing, and Eddie’s eyes are beautiful, and he’s still holding your arm, and you hate how much you want to scream at him to just let you in. Because, suddenly, you don’t want to go on a date with James, even if James is the kinder route, the more willing candidate, the one that makes more sense.
“Why do you care, Eddie?” You snap.
“Because I,” Eddie pauses, frustration settling into his bones. He looks at you like you might be the only thing he’s ever truly seen, and you don’t realize how your fingers are curling around his elbow, both of your fingertips sinking into the warmth of what could be.
“Eddie!” 
Eddie removes his hand from you as if your skin is hot to the touch, and you drop your hand as well, curling your fingers into the palm of your hand and clenching with a deep breath.
Eddie turns to Richie, who’s holding a clipboard and barking directions at staff and crew. “Come on, man, you’re on in 30.” Richie waves his hand.
Eddie turns back to you, dark eyes now cleared and holding urgency as he speaks, “Can you just— fuck,” Eddie tugs at his curls, and your face twists in confusion. You say his name at the same time that Richie calls him once again, and Eddie grumbles, “One second, Rich!” Eddie calls back.
“Just don’t go anywhere for the first few songs, okay?”
“What?”
“Eddie, 10 seconds!” 
And Eddie’s pacing backward as he speaks to you, “Just the first few songs. Please?”
Please. You never thought you would hear that word coming from Eddie— and your stomach twists, but you nod anyway, and then Eddie’s off to the stage.
For some reason, tonight has spun out in ways you’re having trouble wrapping your mind around, and you barely hear James walking out of the room until he presses a gentle hand to your shoulder, pulling your eyes to him.
He has your lightweight jacket in one hand as he offers it to you, “I was thinking maybe we could dip out now? I know a good place for burgers, and I figure we’ve seen the show plenty of times now— I mean, unless if you’d still like to watch, that’s not a problem,” He’s rambling, and you find it cute, so you reach out a hand to press to his arm and thank him for your jacket.
And you feel bad, glancing over your shoulder as you hear the crowd screaming upon the band's entrance, but you figure James is right— you have seen the show plenty of times, so one night off won’t hurt, will it? And besides, it’s not the big finale yet, so you’re not really missing anything.
You nod as you slip on your jacket, “Yeah, let’s go; I’m in the mood for a good meal anyway.”
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James’ universe is fun and bright and spontaneous, all things he is. It’s something you find yourself admiring as you watch him jump from game to game at the arcade he dragged you to after dinner.
You were both full and satisfied from heavy burgers and fries, and James decided you both needed a way to shake off the food coma; and, as James said, “What better way to wake up than lose money in a bunch of rigged games?”
You start strong with a winning streak in Mortal Kombat, Daytona USA, and Star Wars, but you eventually lose your stretch when James crushes you in Dance Dance Revolution. You made him go a second time, but you still lost, and James called your frown cute, and it made your stomach twist because— fuck, this is a date. You aren’t here as just friends.
You make your way around the arcade until you both decide to call it a night and wrap it up with a few rounds of Pac-Man. It’s chillier in the city tonight, so James takes it upon himself to haul over a taxi to take you both to the hotel.
It’s nearing midnight when you and James walk into the hotel lobby, well past the ending of the show, and you’re holding your breath all the way to the elevator, silence taking over when the doors shut. And tonight was fun and lighthearted, and you’d hate to end it on a dull note.
You should just rip the bandaid off. Do it quick and get it over with so you don’t mislead James, because god, he’s such a good guy, and you’re just… you’re all confused with yourself and— fuck, James is looking at you, just do it.
“I think we should just stay friends.” You rush out.
If James is surprised, you wouldn’t be able to tell by a long shot because he’s simply shoving a hand in his pockets and shrugging, “Yeah, I kind of figured when you avoided holding my hand.” He scratches at his neck, and you fail to hold back the sympathetic twist on your face, “I had a really great time, I did, but I just can’t do anything serious right now…” You shyly explain, and James nods his head.
It falls awkwardly silent, and you curse Richie for booking the entire crew near the top of the building because the floor numbers seem to change slower than the seasons. James breaks the silence just four floors away from your destination, “It’s Eddie, isn’t it?”
You freeze at that, head snapping to look at James in shock, “I— what?”
James shrugs for the second time and turns to the doors, “I kind of clocked it as soon as you joined; you two have some weird thing going on.” He halfheartedly teases, and you feel your body heating up because if James can notice it, then who else has noticed it? God, this is more of a mess than you thought.
“Nothing is going on there,” you lie, “Not sure if you’ve noticed, but Eddie hates my guts, so.” You jokingly shrug. James laughs to ease the tension, only glancing back at you when you slow to a stop and the doors open, “I had a fun night, too, by the way. No hard feelings.” And with a wink, he wanders off to his room, and you’re left stepping out into the hallway. When you turn the corner, you find yourself wishing the floor would open up and swallow you whole because right outside of your door stands Eddie Munson.
He watches you walk down the empty hall until you stand before him. He’s leaning a shoulder against your doorframe, one hand tucked in his pocket as the other works his cigarette back and forth from his lips. He’s in his usual all-black attire, and his eyes are dark beneath the smudged eyeliner and eyeshadow from the show. And it seems as if he got off the stage and came straight here, seeing as his hair is still slightly damp with sweat and the chains on his neck stick to his chest.
He speaks around a cloud of smoke, dark hooded eyes peering down at you with a gaze so sharp you almost cower, “Where were you?”
Jesus Christ, the audacity of this man.
Your initial thought is to snap back at him and ridicule him for being an asshole— and what’s his deal with always coming to your room? But then you remember you walked out on him when he’d asked you to stay for the first few songs.
“I’m sorry, Eddie, I—” “You went on a date.”
You freeze at that, blinking up at him as your face twists in confusion, “How do you know that?”
“Because where else would you be?” He counters.
“Maybe I got sick.” You argue, and Eddie raises an eyebrow, eyes dancing over your figure, “You don’t look sick.” He points out.
Your eyebrows pinch in frustration as Eddie takes another hit of his cigarette, “What do you want? I already said I’m sorry— which is much more than you’ve ever done, by the way.” 
“I said sorry.” Eddie snaps. Eddie snuffs out his cigarette in the large plant next to the door as you scoff, turning to angrily shove your keycard into the door, “What, that shitty apology in the garden alleyway? You call that an apology? How fucking dense are you?” You open the door, moving to step in until Eddie’s fingers wrap around your arm, turning you back to him, “I said sorry. An actual apology, I did it, and you weren’t fucking there to hear it.” He seethes.
And woah, what the fuck does that mean? You weren’t there to hear it? What does he mean?
You blink, head shaking in confusion as you gaze up at Eddie, brows furrowed, eyes searching for an answer as you ask, “What do you mean?”
Eddie’s eyes are so beautiful, with swirling pools of forest ground and the tiniest specks of honey, and you believe somewhere within his eyes lives a fairy that gives him that ability to pull you in every time. He’s a hypnosis of a human, and it’s dangerous the way you can’t seem to fight through it.
Your eyes flutter shut when Eddie leans close enough to graze his lips over yours, and your heart races in anticipation of a kiss, but you can physically feel Eddie holding himself back.
“Eddie,” you lowly say, “What do you mean?”
Eddie turns his head to where his lips kiss the skin of your cheek, breath tickling the warm skin and sending shivers down your spine. He lets out a shaky breath, squeezing his eyes tight and muttering a curse under his breath as your hands slink up his chest to curl into the fabric of his shirt. The soft, curly strands of Eddie’s hair dance across your lips, and you want to scream because every inhale and exhale of your lungs is full of nothing but Eddie.
His name prances across your tongue once more, and Eddie cracks.
Eddie cracks wide open; one last hit of your hammer, and he’s putty in your hands, mouthing at you as if his life depended on it, devouring you and breathing you and pushing you until you have nowhere to go but inside your room.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie mumbles against your lips. “I’m sorry… let me make it up to you.”
You’re breathless and dizzy from lack of air, and Eddie is pushing you back onto the hotel bed, “I— what?”
Eddie’s fingers slip under your top, cool fingers pressing into your warm skin and causing your breath to hitch against his lips, “Let me make you feel good.” Eddie whispers against your lips.
And fuck, this is insane. 
This is insane.
Just a few hours ago, you would’ve shoved Eddie away from you and told him to eat shit, but for some reason, with the way Eddie’s touching you and talking so gently, you find your body melting into his touch as you nod your head. “Yes?” Eddie seems like he doesn’t believe it, and your stomach twists as you clench your thighs together, nodding once more, “Yes.” You confirm.
Eddie kisses you once again, hastily and eagerly, as his hands push your top further up your torso. Your muscles tense and twitch beneath Eddie’s calloused fingers, and Eddie hums against the softness of your mouth, panting against your lips as he repeats, “Gonna make you feel good. Make up for what I did.”
You breathlessly laugh, “S’gonna take a lot more than this, Munson.” 
And although you were slightly serious with that comment, you suppose Eddie takes it as more of a challenge as he shoves your top entirely over your chest, pulling away to tug the shirt off of you and toss it to the side.
Eddie surges forward to press sloppy kisses against the uncovered skin of your chest, sucking tiny little marks as he moves further down your body, pressing a hand to your chest to push you down into the bed when he reaches the waistband of your skirt.
It’s a black denim skirt, and Eddie takes a moment to admire how they hug your thighs perfectly— and he can’t seem to bring himself to remove it from your waist, so he pushes the skirt up around your hips instead. Your heart is racing, and you can’t help the heat that rises to your cheeks as you attempt to close your thighs, but Eddie places his palms flat against the warm insides of them.
“Don’t tell me you’re getting shy on me already. I haven’t even taken off these cute little panties of yours.” Eddie presses a thumb to your cotton-covered clit, dragging the pad of his thumb down your slit and pressing into the damp spot. Your breath hitches, sparks flying throughout your body, and Eddie smiles. You whine, “I thought you were apologizing.” You frown.
Eddie hums, leaning forward to press a kiss right where your thigh meets the fold of your pussy. You squirm, and Eddie snickers, “I am.” He responds.
You sit up to lean on your elbows, glaring down at him between your thighs as you speak, “You’re not. You’re just teasing me.” You point out.
Eddie doesn’t respond as he hooks his fingers into the band of your panties, drags them down your legs, and drops them to the side, gaze flickering up to yours as you clench your thighs together. Eddie holds your gaze as he wraps his arms around your thighs, hooking his hands into the dip of your waist and tugging you to the edge of the bed. Your center throbs in anticipation as Eddie sinks to his knees on the carpet floor, dark eyes still locked onto yours as he fits his upper body between your thighs.
And Eddie doesn’t even bother looking between your thighs when he dips his head in and begins devouring you.
Eddie, you find, eats pussy like he has all the time in the world.
He’s sloppy with it, lapping at your center and suckling your clit until you’re a whiney mess beneath him. His fingers curl into the denim skirt that’s bunched around your hips, and his rings tauntingly wink up at you under the light as he clenches his fist against the material, tugging you closer to him so he can thrust his tongue further into you.
While Eddie is busy tasting you, you scramble to reach behind your back and unhook your bra. Between your thighs, Eddie watches as you toss the garment off to the side before cupping your tits in your hands and rolling your nipple between your middle and forefingers. Eddie moans against you, burying his face deeper into you and suckling enough to have you crying out in pleasure.
Eddie pulls back for a moment, sticky strings of his saliva and your arousal dripping from his lips as he removes one hand from your waist to sink two fingers into your cunt. You pant out his name, your face twisting in pleasure when he curls his fingers up against your walls. Your eyes are screwed shut so you don’t see Eddie leaning forward to purse his lips together and let a drop of saliva drip over your pussy and sinfully coat your clit. He’s quick to attach his mouth to the throbbing bundle of nerves, and you reach out a hand to thread your fingers through his hair, knuckles curling at the root to drag an animalistic growl from Eddie.
Eddie is one of the best, if not the best, head you’ve ever received. By the time you begin teetering over the edge, your thighs are twitching and tensing as if you’ve already come undone, and your chest is heaving beneath Eddie’s fingers as he toys with your tits.
When you cum, Eddie becomes greedier than he’d been before, licking and slurping up every last drop you have to give until you’re twitching away from him and pressing a shaky hand to his shoulder. 
Eddie slinks up your body, sinking his fingers into his mouth to clean off your wetness before you slink an arm around his shoulders and pull him down to kiss you. Eddie’s fingers are wet as they cup the left side of your face, and the feeling of something wet on your face would usually have you cringing in distaste, but you only moan and press yourself further into Eddie.
You mumble for him to take his shirt off, and Eddie follows swiftly, too eager to go back to kissing you. He shivers when your hands meet his bare chest, fingertips exploring the vast expanse of untold stories in ink, hard yet plush muscles of his arms flexing beneath your touch. 
“I wasn’t done saying sorry.” Eddie pants against your lips, and you breathily laugh, “You can finish some other time; I want to feel you now.” You respond, busying your hands with trailing down his lower stomach, sinking past the waistband of his leather pants.
Eddie kisses his way down your neck to begin sucking pretty bruises into the skin, and your core clenches when you realize Eddie is wearing nothing beneath the leather pants— and you try hard not to imagine how he’s probably been pressed up against the rough fabric, achy tip undeniably receiving pleasure from the sinful ways he uses his hips when he’s on stage. 
Your shock doesn’t end there, however, because when you sink lower to wrap your hand around his cock, your body goes still at the feeling beneath your fingertips. Against the fiery skin of your cheek, you feel Eddie’s lips stretch into a smile and your heart races.
“What’s the matter, princess? Find something you like, hm?” Eddie can’t help the way his voice shakes near the end because you're giving his cock an experimental squeeze and running a finger over the sudden surprise.
You smile as you speak, “Is that a piercing?”
Eddie hums, turning his head, nose smashing against the side of yours as he presses a kiss to the side of your mouth, “Maybe..” He teasingly confirms.
And god, you might pass out.
Eddie’s dick is pierced. You’re not sure what more you’d expect from a rockstar, but you’re still shocked and ushering him to remove the annoying restriction of his pants.
When Eddie finally gets rid of his leather pants, you’ve shifted to sit on your knees in the middle of the bed, and Eddie stalks over to the edge of the bed, beckoning you over.
You don’t waste time crawling over to him, eyes stuck on the pretty sight before you. And sure, it’s not the first time you’ve seen a pierced dick (you’ve spent too much time working with rockstars), but it sure as hell is the first time you’ll be fucking one— not to mention his cock is perfect. It’s shaped and cut to perfection, something you’d expect from a pornstar, but Eddie is not a pornstar, and god, the sight of the metal barbell nestled right beneath the pink tip on the underside of his cock— it’s dizzying to see.
You peer up at Eddie, wrapping a hand around his cock and stroking him once, chest fluttering when he fails to hold back a moan. “It’s really pretty, Eddie.” You softly say, and Eddie sheepishly and breathlessly laughs as you squeeze at his tip. “Want you to fuck me with it.”
Eddie groans, muttering a curse as he leans forward to press his lips against yours, pushing you until you’re crawling back up the bed to lay beneath him.
“I’ve never been with someone with a piercing…” You admit, and Eddie smiles at you, and your stomach twists when he reaches down to gently guide your movement up and down the length of his cock.
“Really? You’ve never fucked a pierced cock before?” He manages to say through his pleasure. Your teeth dig into the inside of your cheek as you shake your head no, and Eddie snickers when you ask, “Have you?”
His lips quirk into a smile, “Honey, you think I got the piercing done without a test run on how it feels?” He jokes.
You snort at that, and Eddie beams at you. You swipe your thumb over his leaking tip, and Eddie curses, watching as you mindlessly bring the glistening pad of your finger up to your tongue and hum. 
“How’s it taste, sweetheart?” Eddie teases, and you hum as you respond, “Good. So good, wish I could taste more—” “No, no, no.” Eddie cuts you off with a shake of his head, reaching down to wrap a fist around himself.
“This isn’t about me. Plus, I’m losing my patience right now; I’ve been thinking about this since I fucking met you.” He presses himself flat against your pussy, and you gasp, fingers digging into his shoulders as he rolls his hips to slide himself up and down your wet cunt, the cool metal of the piercing catching onto your clit and sending shivers up your spine.
His gaze falls between your thighs to watch as your slick centers meet, cursing at the way your wet folds part around each drag of his cock. “You have such a pretty pussy, princess, fuck.” He rasps.
Your mind is spinning with the roll of Eddie’s hips, his dirty compliment, and his admission that he’s thought of fucking you before. You don’t dare to tell him you’ve thought of it too or that you’ve gotten off to the thought of it. You don’t even have to think about it because the tip of Eddie’s cock is catching the slickness of your entrance, and you’re gasping, body jerking in pleasure. Your lips accidentally smear against Eddie’s shoulder, and he hums, tilting his head and dipping to catch your lips in a sloppy kiss.
As he distracts you with his mouth, he slowly presses into you, and you lose your ability to keep up with Eddie’s lips because holy fuck— Eddie is bigger than you thought. Sure, you got a good look at him when he removed his pants to show you his surprise, but your mind must’ve been too muddled with lust to clock the size of him.
You can feel everything as he sinks into you, every vein running up the sides, and the mind-numbing sensation of the barbell as he presses into you. “Holy shit,” you breathlessly whisper against the skin of his shoulder, legs tightening around his waist as the burning yet toe-curling feeling settles in. Eddie snickers above you, “That good?”
You’re coherent enough to snap back at his cockiness, “No.”
Eddie laughs, and you want to make a snippy comeback, but it gets lost on your tongue when Eddie gives his hips one experimental roll.
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Eddie is pathetically close to cumming.
Eddie’s cock has only been nestled within your warm, wet, pulsing walls for barely two minutes, and he’s about to blow like he’s a goddamn teenager— and it doesn’t help how heavenly you sound and look writhing beneath him.
Eddie’s not sure where to look; your face, your tits, or the hypnotizing sight of your cunt sucking him in over and over with each thrust he gives you. “Fuck,” he curses, “You’re taking me so well, princess.” He leans in the nose at your cheek before licking at the curve of your jaw, shivering at the wet moan you pant into his ear.
“Been hiding this pretty pussy from me?” Eddie hums, sucking a delicate bruise right below your ear. And god, Eddie could spend forever like this, drilling into you and marking you everywhere and pulling these pretty sounds from you. Eddie’s so close, oh god.
You mewl at his words, hips squirming as Eddie snaps his hips into you, “No,” you whine, “You’ve been mean to me.” And Eddie thinks you’re awfully cute when you’re blissed out and pouting. And your eyes are glossy, lips slick with spit and swollen from kissing.
Eddie wishes he had a photographic memory because he doesn’t want to forget a single detail of this moment. Eddie has one hand clutching the sheets beside your head as he lets the other hand coast up your side to land on your chest, thumb brushing over your nipple to pull a moan from you. “I know,” Eddie lowly replies, “I’m sorry, princess.” He kisses your chin, and you clench around him.
Eddie’s fist clenches around the sheet, fighting to hold himself back as he presses deep into you and stills, cock twitching within your walls. “Gonna let me show you how sorry I am?” He asks.
You're hazy and cockdrunk, and Eddie can’t wait to unpack the fact that you go braindead when you’re fucked good. Eddie nudges himself into you, although he’s pressed all the way into your cunt, and you whimper before eagerly nodding.
“Yeah?” Eddie teases. You nod again, fingers digging into Eddie’s arm as you speak, “Yes, Eddie— fuck. Yeah, show me, please.”
Eddie almost loses it.
It’s slightly scary how much Eddie likes this, how much he’s enjoying this— the feeling of you beneath him, the wetness, the heat, the sweat-sticky touches, and the sloppy smattering of kisses. God, Eddie’s in love with it.
The short five-second break Eddie managed to pull from questioning (teasing) you was enough for him to get ahold of himself. Eddie sits up and grasps the back of your knee, hauling your leg over his shoulder to get a better angle at fucking you, and you gasp when his cock rubs against your spot.
Eddie doesn’t waste time once he gets the position situated. He leaves one hand splayed beside your head to hold him up as the other hand grips the warm flesh of your thigh before resuming his thrusting, this time at a deeper and quicker pace.
The sound of skin meeting and the wet sloshing noise of sex echoes through the room amongst the mix of moans and sultry-soaked remarks. Eddie doesn’t notice his hand slipping from your thigh and slinking up to wrap around your neck, but he hesitates when you whimper. He almost removes his hand, but you wrap a shaky hand around his wrist and nod— and fuck, Eddie will never be the same man after this.
Eddie can feel the heat and the pulse of your heart as his fingers tighten around your neck. Your moans are becoming more and more frequent and higher in pitch, and Eddie can feel the way you’re fluttering around him more sporadically, and he can’t wait to feel it when you cum.
Eddie leans over you, lips brushing your parted ones as he encourages you to let go, “Come on, let me feel it. I’m not leaving until you soak my cock, princess.”
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Your body is on fire.
It’s almost alarming how easily and well Eddie has unraveled you. His presence is nearly overwhelming with the way he’s hovering so close over you, but you love it— the tickle of his long curls on your shoulders and chest, the intoxicating smell of him, the dizzying hold he has around your neck— you preen for it.
You’re so close when Eddie tells you to cum, and you barely have enough time to prepare for the earth-shattering orgasm that ripples through you the second Eddie presses a thumb to your aching clit and rubs tight circles against it.
Your body tenses, and your moans crack upon the surface as you melt into him until you’re nothing but a quivering mess. Eddie talks you through it, tells you how pretty you sound and how good you feel wrapped around him. Your orgasm had hit you so hard that you barely registered the broken moan that came from Eddie before he pushed deep into you and emptied every last drop of himself into your pulsing heat.
Eddie curses, his cock pulsing within you, and you let out an exhausted yet satisfied sigh when he rolls his hips into you once more. You’re both silent for a long moment as you come back down to earth, Eddie’s forehead pressed against your shoulder as you subconsciously let your hand run up the side of his torso.
Eddie shifts to turn his head to where he can slightly see your face as he still hides against your shoulder, “Apology accepted?”
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Saturday morning, the next day, you wake up and want to bury yourself under the hotel sheets.
Last night was… interesting, to say the least. It was good— mind-blowing— but you still have that lingering feeling in your chest that maybe you and Eddie shouldn’t have slept together. Maybe you let him in too quickly. Maybe it was all a lie, Eddie’s ‘apology’. All the gentle caresses and the passion-filled kisses with the heart flutter words. Maybe it was all for show, just to get you to let your walls down so he could have at you.
Eddie didn’t spend the night with you.
In fact, Eddie practically ran out the door after your extremities were over, and you were left with the aftermath of spinning thoughts and an aching chest. So much for sorry.
The dining room is buzzing with chatter and laughter of excitement— today is the last off day before the final show of the residency— but you’re too in your head to join in on the conversation because Eddie won’t even look at you.
Your throat feels tight, and you spend the majority of breakfast just pushing your food around the plate, and you manage to pull a smile and nod your head when Naomi asks if you’re okay. But fuck, you want to scream.
You should’ve never believed Eddie when he told you he’d change or when he practically spent the entire night worshipping your body and begging for your forgiveness. Eddie didn’t want forgiveness. He just wanted to fuck you, and you should’ve known that from the second he kissed you.
But Eddie’s kisses can tell a hell of a lie, and damn you for falling for them.
You’re spooked when you feel a hand rest on your shoulder, pulling you from your thoughts. It’s Richie, and he peers down at you and gives you a tight-lipped smile as he leans in and lowly speaks, “Can I speak with you outside?”
You nod, dropping your fork onto your plate and quietly rising from your chair. And for the first time today, Eddie looks at you. Your chest tightens, and you think it’s stupid that you’d been upset about this because it’s Eddie for fucks sake. He’s a rockstar, and he surely never made the mistake of presenting himself as if he was anything other than a man who fucks whoever they want and moves on the next day. Eddie’s jaw ticks, he looks away, and you bite your tongue as anger floods your body.
You ignore it as you turn around and follow Richie into the hallway.
You’re hardly paying attention when you both step out of the room, but the slamming of the door is the cue for Richie to start speaking. “Listen, Birdie,” he begins, “You know I adore you. I’m always in your corner, no matter what… But I have to put my boys first.”
It’s concerning, the way Richie is beginning this conversation, and it’s even worse when he can’t seem to look you in the eye for more than five seconds at a time. Your heart rate picks up, and you begin to think maybe…
No, Richie can’t know. There’s no way he’d know, right? Unless if someone told him. One of the band members, or James, or— fuck, there’s too many people that know at this rate. But you didn’t think it would reach Richie.
No, you’re just spinning out. Richie doesn’t know, and this is about something else; it has to be.
You shake your head, brows furrowed as you speak, “I’m not sure I understand.”
Richie glances around the corridor and shifts in his spot, scratching at the back of his neck as he speaks, “Listen, I uh,” he glances at you, and your heart drops because you now know why he’s pulled you aside. 
“I know about you and Eddie.”
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part nine
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a/n: hiiii, you made it to the end !! IM SORRY FOR ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER FRIENDS, i promise there won't be anymore from here on out (i think hehe), BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS SMUTTY LITTLE PART, thank you for reading, ilysm and i appreciate all and any feedback <3
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722 notes · View notes
stonegoldsxcrxt · 3 months
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Ah, Star Wars fans. Once again perpetuating the Draco in Leather Pants trope to the point where we're all sick of it. Do I have to beat someone with the 'He's-Supposed-To-Be-Evil' Stick or something?
yeah. the acolyte itself as a show is straddling a line right now that, I'm sorry, I kind of don't think the Star Wars fandom at large is media literate enough to understand.
I've already seen a number of tiktoks and tumblr posts saying, "omg now I understand reylos," which besides being exhausting and annoying, immediately proves my point. There's obviously some differences between reylo and whatever osha/qimir is called within both production and the narrative, but overall what I'm baffled by every. single. time. is how weirdly everyone in the star wars fandom reacts to an attractive male villain blatantly manipulating a young woman.
I think the acolyte is clearly aiming for us to see and understand that Qimir is manipulating Osha. We know Qimir is clever. We saw him successfully worm his way out of being caught by the Jedi by playing up the "quirky sidekick" shtick. What I don't think a lot of the audience picks up on is just how smart he is. During one of his and Osha's conversations, he lets her suggest things and make assumptions, ie:
Osha: Where’d you get that scar?
Qimir: How do you think I got it?
Osha: Looks like someone stabbed you in the back.
Qimir: Someone who threw me away.
Osha: Your Jedi Master?
And then he doesn't correct her or elaborate. He lets her assume the worst. He lets her imagination wander. He's not interested in explaining because he knows the real story, whatever it may be, doesn't make him look as favorable as her idea. It's exchanges like that that are subtle examples of his manipulation, less obvious than the outright goading he uses against her when he gets her to admit she thinks of herself as a failure and that's why she left the Jedi.
There's also the earlier exchange:
Osha: He’s found me before, and his strength in the Force is very powerful.
Qimir: You think that’s his strength? That’s your strength in the Force, Osha. Someone ought to teach you that.
To a lot of people, that sounds like a compliment. But it isn't. Qimir makes a statement vague enough that successfully implies the Jedi have been lying to Osha about her own strength in the Force while also keeping just enough information to himself that he knows Osha will stick around to find out what he meant, instead of swimming to the ship he points out to her right after. And she does exactly that, continues to follow and engage in argument and conversation with him.
In fact, Qimir knows the more Osha talks to him, the more Osha even entertains the idea of talking to him instead of leaving, the more he can get inside her head. His naked swimming jaunt isn't him flaunting or showing off for Osha in some genuinely romantic way– it's yet another manipulation tactic. Though, if she is seduced, that helps him too.
Qimir purposefully makes himself into a vulnerable state in front of her to lull her into a false sense of security. He leaves his weapon with his clothes so she has the opportunity to take it; he is signalling to her that he is "completely" disarmed, though that is not true, since we know he is far stronger in the Force and in combat, and, perhaps, more cunning than Osha. His nudity forces Osha to acknowledge he is human, and Qimir benefits from Osha thinking of him as just a quirky, charming loner who's the victim of the Jedi, who offers her soup and disrobes in front of her.
The reason I know that none of this is genuine is simple. He goes back and forth between flat out acting as if he pities Osha ("Why do you love people who can only go so far?") but that doesn't get him the reaction he's looking for, so he bounces back to antagonizing her ("Why aren’t you a Jedi, Osha?) to finally, convincing her that she is similar to him ("I understand.") None of these things are actually Qimir trying to get to know Osha. Sure, he needs to understand her to manipulate her, but he'd do or say anything to get her to stick around and allow him to corrupt her further.
to me, Qimir is kind of the Star Wars equivalent to like a mimic species in the animal world. He's smart enough to know that in order to get what he wants, he has to act a certain way that isn't necessarily his real personality, and he can exploit Osha's (and anyone else's, for that matter) feelings by molding his personality and actions to achieve his goals so his victims are less likely to notice that he's using them.
The problem is that a big portion of the audience doesn't appear to recognize it, either. We know the rules of the Star Wars universe very well by now. Force Users this deep in the Dark Side cannot actually love someone. Sure, they can be obsessed with someone, but they cannot actually reciprocate feelings as the Dark Side corrupts them.
I've come to the conclusion that the majority of people watching Star Wars are not watching with the intention of picking up on any of this, despite the fact that the acolyte is actually doing it quite masterfully. They are paying attention to Manny Jacinto's muscles, and little else. You cannot argue or convince people who do not want to listen. They did not want to listen in 2017, when the reddest of red flags "You're nothing, but not to me," line was delivered, which had all the subtlety of being hit over the head with an anvil, and they are not listening now. If people are able to be gaslit by Kylo Ren into believing his victim card was validated, they will certainly and inevitably be gaslit by Qimir, who, so far, is much more cunning.
the acolyte even *plans* for this though, deliberately and suddenly cutting to the scene of Jecki's lifeless body, reminding the audience that Qimir is not the quirky, charming, harmless loner who he presents himself to be, but actually a man who we know to be capable of unspeakable acts of violence towards even children. at this point, I can't actually see any reason why the fandom continues to act like he is in love with Osha in any kind of genuine manner when it's so mind-blowingly obvious that he is male manipulator #1.
I think does a huge disservice to the story the acolyte seems to be trying to present at this point to be so blind with lust or whatever it is the fandom feels towards this guy that his own tactics have begun to work on them. it's actually so incredible that it makes me a bit ill. they may find him hot all they want, but for the love of Leia Organa's Star Wars at least recognize his tactics for what they are instead of also allowing yourself to be fooled!!
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lostyesterday · 11 months
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I’ve seen a lot of joke posts about how Kira is a lesbian because she has short hair but, like, Kira’s appearance is the last reason why I generally read her as a lesbian. DS9 clearly intends to show that Kira is attracted to men, but I have always found this attraction to feel forced and artificial.
As one example, when Kira gets together with Shakaar in Crossfire or Odo in His Way, both episodes focus solely on Odo’s and Shakaar’s feelings toward Kira. Their perspectives are explored extensively, and their romantic feelings toward Kira are very explicitly depicted. Neither episode does anything whatsoever to explore Kira’s perspective on either of them. In fact, before Shakaar and Odo confess their love to Kira, there is absolutely no indication whatsoever that Kira has romantic feelings for either of them. Obviously there are Doylist explanations for this (namely, sexism), but what comes across from a narrative perspective is the implication that Kira suddenly and spontaneously developed feelings for both men after they said they were in love with her. Which is obviously possible – I know some people do experience attraction this way. But it also could read as extremely lesbian. I did the same thing several times when I was younger and thought I was straight. If someone tells you they have romantic feelings for you, and you genuinely like them and enjoy their company, it can be very easy to convince yourself that what you feel is romantic love. And you want to convince yourself, because you want deeply to be connected to other people.
When Kira breaks up with Shakaar because the Prophets let her know they weren’t meant to be together, part of me can’t help but imagine that she might feel relieved deep down. There’s no need, now, to wonder if she truly feels the same way toward him that he feels toward her. There’s an excuse, now, to go back to the way it was before when she didn’t have to interrogate all of her emotions in search of the ones she was supposed to feel.
When Kira tells Odo she loves him enough to let him go in Chimera, and when she truly lets him go in the finale, I imagine what part of her she feels she is losing. Odo is one of her closest friends – one that survived one war and then the next and in the end she lost him anyway. And she has lost so much, and so there can be no relief in this, but maybe in some small way it is still easier to pretend you loved someone the way they loved you once you’ve lost them.
And I compare Kira’s interactions with these men the show describes her as being in love with to her interactions with Jadzia or Keiko or Cretak, and I just find her chemistry with women so much more convincing. There’s no effort behind it – just connection. I don’t think what I’m saying here is the “correct” way of interpreting Kira as a character – it is simply my own interpretation based partially on my personal experiences. But I do think that it is a valid interpretation.
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no please bc just once I wanna make hobie nervous flustered.. like why can’t he can’t be intimated by me why I always gotta be intimidated by him 🙄🙄
TRULLLYY The opportunities are endless!! Let's talk about it!!!!!!!!!!!
Hobie Brown Loves Feminists and Defying the Patriarchy aka Hobie Brown and Writing write Non-Conventional Romantic Relationships in 'x-readers'
[this is an analysis where I analyze Hobie Brown, non-conventional relationships, and how feminism factors in to it all. Basically a critique/dive/rant into the narrow 'x-reader culture' in the Hobie Fandom
I touch on issues in Smut, labels, and how we can write 'Y/N's that challenge that status quo and fit Hobie better. I also break down how I personally use feminist themes to write a non-conventional relationship for Hobie.] [Also there's now a PART 2 HERE]
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Despite the man from the 1970's - the era of bra-burning second-wave feminism - I don't ever think I've seen anyone talk about it, him, and how it influences him.
We all know Hobie isn't down with labels, but it seems like in X-Fem!Reader, the only two options out there are play-boy guitarist and traditional out-of-the-box boyfriend.
Hobie. The man he follows no social quo. Don't expect flowers from him.
Hobie diverges from the norm in nearly every way, and he does it purposefully and intentionally. And I think that'd extend to his romantic relationships too.
So why do we only see him in heteronormative, traditional gender-role based relationships?
Would Hobie be into this? And does the way we write him and his relationships in x-writers serve Hobie emotionally, allowing him to be a full character? (No, they don't.)
How can begin to acknowledge that, just like Hobie cares about race, and class, and housing and queer rights - he'd care about feminism too.
And how would that influence him in romance? How can we start writing healthier x-reader's?
We have enough insecure, blushing 'Y/N's being woo'd by [insert tumblr sexy man]'. Hobie can have so much more - in the words of Beyonce "Where the ladies up in here who like to talk back?!"
Hobie Brown, Romance, and Gender Roles
Why can I be the one calling him 'love', and 'darling', and 'sweetheart'?
Where's the fic where I'm the one comforting and taking care of him when he's sick/down?
Why can't Hobie be the one asked to be held?
There's something lacking here!!!!!!!
I honestly think Hobie would be into it, and find it very attractive - having a feminine partner who defies gender roles in their relationship purposefully and proudly.
Hobie loves subverting expectations and challenging society. So, and seeing many people unthinkingly assume he'd have a completely normal, routine heterosexual relationship without question -- uhhh I don't like that!!!
Like, Hobie is very clearly attractive. He's like 6'5", a guitarist, and punk. Let's be real, people of any gender are gonna be flirting with him, whether he's into it or not. He without a doubt gets flirted at all the time.
I think he'd love someone who cuts the bullshit and is like "You're really cute. I've got the biggest crush on you."
Not in a pushy way, but a relaxed way.
But I hardly ever see the x-reader advances being initiated by the reader. Why? It can be really nice to take the confidence to ask someone out and they say yes.
In fact, a lot of x-readers are written demure, passive, and down-right unhealthy in their ability to defend themselves and stand alone. So many are based off the x reader needing Hobie for some reason, whether it be confidence, or protection, or for him to teach them something.
Never Hobie needing the reader for something. Never Hobie being the one to express emotion and need comfort.
Which is funny, because Hobie can show emotions like anger, which he does in the comics. That's NEVER brought up in fics. In no fic do we have the reader witness Hobie hitting someone with a guitar or kicking them in the face. Which Hobie does do.
No, that's too violent for the romanticized fandom of Hobie. He has to be the good boyfriend to the shy girlfriend.
And I feel like there's a reason many of these x-readers are written this way - is heteronormativity and a dash of misogyny-flavored sexism involved??? maybe.
Especially with x fem readers, feminine people are always expected to be passive and submissive. Women in the real world are expected to mute their advances and 'be coy' for the sake of sexist 'respectability'.
We're taught that 'giving them the eyes' is (somehow??) an 'advance'. Or that you have to wait to be asked out or else you're 'too forward'.
[Insert Barbie Movie Monologue here]
Personally, I think Hobie would be SO refreshed by a girl who comes up to him and is like "Hey, are you busy on Friday? Do you wanna meet me then? I wanna go on a date with you."
Because, realistically 95% of the people in the Hobie fandom - including me - would probably be too nervous to even speak a sentence to Hobie.
So for someone to approach him directly, state their intentions, and be so open to potential rejection, that's impressive - I think he'd LOVE that shit!!!
I think it's a nice juxtaposition to have him with someone who diverges from the 'demure ideal of a girlfriend'.
A girl who walks around like Jessica Drew. Walks in the room like "My man is SEXY AF and he about to walk in so LOOK. BE JEALOUS."
I imagine so many people around him try to act like they DON'T like Hobie when they clearly do - and he can tell. So to have someone who isn't hiding it is a kind of candidness that differs from it all.
So often are women forced into the passive role of waiting to be 'chosen'. Fuck that, you want him, go get him.
Hobie, Romance, and Labels
I also think Hobie would REALLY like a partner who knows what they want.
I always see people be like 'Hobie doesn't like labels!! He wants to keep it casual!' or 'Nooo he was kidding about the labels thing - he'd love a committe-'
WHO SAYS HE'D BE THE ONE DEFINING THE SITUATION????????? WHO SAID HE GETS THE LAST SAY???!!!!!
I feel like Hobie would go fucking NUTS for a girl who is straight up like "yeah I'm just trying to fuck. Are you okay with that?" or "I like what we've got going on. I'm not looking for anything serious, but let's keep going."
Or a partner that is very clear about their labels. A person who's like "I like you but if you're not trying to be exclusive I'm gonna get a move on." Because he's not gonna have you out here looking DUMB, people better know you're in the mfing picture.
That's some grown ass shit! It shows she knows what she wants and that she's not wavering on it, even for him. He's with it. I don't think Hobie would be down to be like "I'm ur boyfriend now" OR "I'm ONLY down for fucking lol srry'.
She gets a say too. And she should be clear on what she wants.
If she's the one to take the initiative and name the game - that's great for him. He's down for whatever, what is it that YOU wanna do??
Hobie, Romance, and Intimacy (like for the grown folks 18+) __________________________________
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In a LOT of fic and especially SMUT, it's always Hobie making the advances, or at least initiating them. In society, women are taught that's how is, that being sexually 'aggressive' and proactive - not just SUGGESTIVE - is inappropriate.
Wait till Hobie slaps your ass, then the smut could start. Wait till Hobie kisses you, then there's romance.
Nah, I'm the one smacking his ass. I'm the one pulling his belt loop saying Come 'ere. What if I'm the one who wants to pull him down for a first kiss, huh??? I gotta wait??
Even in dialogue-
In a lot of fics Hobie can talk as raunchy as ever, but the woman can't say 'pussy'? Hobie can say three sentences straight about how my coochie feel but the reader only gets to moan submissive requests back??
Can the dirty talk be two-sided? Because women should be allowed to be vocal in their pleasure.
Hobie can tell you he wants you to suck his dick, but when's the reader gonna say "Come eat this pussy like you mean it." HM??????
In fics the reader can only be suggestive - in order to bait him into initiating, like sending him a suggestive picture or throwing a bra on stage. But it's hardly ever the other way around. With the reader being the one to say 'Enough of the teasing, we fucking NEOW.'
Because in our society, a guy slipping a girl's shirt off to get the scene going is hot. But a woman going for a guys belt before he begins to undress her - nooo, that's too forward.
Maybe Hobie wants to feel like the sexy, desired, sought after one.
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Hobie, Romance and Feminism
Let it be known: Hobie loves people who are socially educated!!!!
If you can look at him and explain what anarchism actually is - like in a politcal theory sense - I think he'd be impressed, because you're seeing through the 'pseudo-rockstar' persona he puts on.
Most if not all of his actions are choice are driven by political action, so having a partner educated in things like anarchy or communism just makes sense with him. Hobie cares about stuff like that, and actually goes out of his way to study and live in line with those ideals.
That includes feminism!!!
I think Hobie would love a girlfriend who is invested in feminism, cares about it, and thinks about it in her decision making.
A woman that is educated about her oppression and how to combat it, and purposefully goes against the strict stereotype labeled on women - especially feminine women - as an act of protest.
A girl who can and will defend herself, go off on, or put a sexist pig in their place. You can't tell me he wouldn't be into that.
Social movements of the oppressed are super important to Hobie, and I think feminism is the same, but I never see it mentioned.
I definitely think that Hobie would have a clear understanding of his privilege as a man and how that effects relationships.
I can see him being like "I'd never propose." Not because he hates labels, but because he acknowledges that for centuries marriage was used as a financial and social transaction to oppress and control women and their bodies, and he doesn't want to be involved in that.
Hit him with that "Same - the gold and diamond rings are trash anyway. Both materials being mined and pillaged in African nations for centuries at the expense of the indigenous populations really puts me off it."
He'd wanna somehow find a way to marry you without marrying you you know what i mean
Hobie loves feminism and feminists. Give him a 70's bra-burning feminism so help me god. He was alive for Roe v. Wade passing (1973), he KNOWS about feminism and probably knows many outspoken feminists.
Hobie, Romance and Individuality
You know what I don't like?
Headcanons or fics that be like "You and Hobie NEVER disagree or argue. Never ever, you always talk it out."
Like...Bullshit. I'm sorry but I don't think it's very realistic.
Hobie is a very opinionated too. He's very outspoken and when it comes to topics, and he usually knows exactly where he stands. I think, without a doubt he'd care what his partner thinks too.
Asking them about a record that's playing, or what they think of a movie they saw in the past, or a new political issue going on. He'd absolutely ask, because he cares. He's interested.
If if ya'll are never disagreeing that means:
Either you agree with his opinion all the time without fail or exception OR
You're biting your tongue around him
I don't think one is very realistic in terms of things. You can't like every song your boyfriend likes. You can't like every movie he shows you, or agree on EVERY political issue. That's not how people are.
And for two - if you're biting your tongue around him, he'll notice.
Yes, Hobie is a very emotionally intelligent person and extremely compassionate. But he's also very strong in his morals, thoughts, and beliefs. He doesn't budge.
If you're biting your tongue, I'd imagine he'd be like "You wanna say something." or "Whatever you're thinking just say it." cause he can see it in your face.
He's not trying to put you on the spot, he just wants to know what you're thinking.
When you explain what you're thinking, he's probably gonna wanna hear why, and respond, etc etc.
Hobie is a very individualistic person, and I think he'd be drawn to someone who is as well. Someone who is solid in their opinions and personhood enough to express them.
It leads to interesting conversation and knowing each other deeper -It's a form of intimacy.
If you watch a film with him and don't like it, he's gonna ask why. Did you not like the theme? Was the dialogue bad? What part did you think sucked the most, he thought x, y, z. What do you think about the part he disliked, did you notice a,b,c?
I feel like Hobie would want to know his partner deeply, and he'd care and love the things that make them different from each other.
Including differing opinions.
Discussions and debates aren't bad. Discussing something and getting heated defending your point can be really fun and stimulating, if it's with someone you care about and the two parties are mature and not assholes.
Tell him why you think he's wrong about something - he wants an excuse to talk more about his opinion. INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGE HIM DONT JUST AGREE.
Along with being very individualistic, Hobie is very independent. He refused to rely on the Society for their watches - he made his own. So I think the next important thing to him is:
Hobie, Romance and Independence
I like the idea of Hobie having a partner that has their own place and is committed to that, and their space.
Or a partner that emotionally supports him!!
95% of the time, he's the one asking what's wrong, or holding reader, or comforting them.
Can we get hectic bf and organized girlfriend energy?? A gf where he says plans during missions and she's like "What are you thinking? You're gonna get us killed."
A gf that soothes HIM when he gets angry - cause comic Hobie GETS angry, especially after a fight.
Give me ONE, ONE fic where he's drunk coming from a pub and READER has to deal with drunk Hobie and put him to bed.
Hobie is ALWAYS expected to take care of himself, and the people around him. He takes pride in this and he's good at it. But why should he have to do it all the time?
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In general,
Hobie is a confident person. He knows what he wants, and how to handle himself, and how to approach people and get respect just by being himself. He's assured, and outspoken, and VERY independent. He does what he wants, when he wants and lets you know when it happens
I think pairing him with a confident, assured, outspoked, independent person is only natural. I think him having a relationship with a personality like his would be a ROCK SOLID one.
There's be no fics like 'Groupies were bullying you' because his she would be like "Sis, if I swing on you he isn't gonna hold me back so be careful."
I want a reader that when they do that trope of 'A girl was flirting in front of him making you insecure and uncomfortable' - The reader squashes it right there. Like "Girl, I know you see me standing here. You know we're together. Cut the cute shit!!"
I'm tired of fics taking me for an insecure, submissive, demure, sexually innocent, wimp of a babydoll girlfriend that needs to be babied at every turn. There's nothing wrong with being shy and demure, but when it's all you're offering it's not gonna cut it.
Especially not for Hobie Brown.
Let the tall, dark, actively oppressed black man be the one to vent, or be held, or romanced, and spoken sweetly too. There's so many comfort fics, but not many of them consider Hobie's own trauma - and how a relationship could include that.
Hobie Brown deserves more.
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If you wanna know how I use this to write a non-conventional relationship for Hobie, that's below this break.
Okay so I'mma leave it here but if you read this far, thank you!!!! I be SO pissed when fics be talking me (Y/N) as a punk (in the wimpy sense not the Hobie sense). Like...nah I wouldve said something in a lot of situations. Irk my last nerve. Like the one where the girl PINCHES you??? Like?? Nah I we would've been fighting, I'm sorry this is unrealistic
Alsooo the section below is about my Spidersona Disco-Spider and how I encorporated all of this into her creation- because I wanted to write a sona who subtly defied gender roles while still being feminine. So if you wanna read there thank you so much, and if not, thanks for reading this far! He's a pic of Hobie in thanks!
[If you wanna check out Part 2 for direct examples, how to write NCRs, and a more in depth look into Disco and Hobie - check it out here]
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DiscoSpider Diane and The Great Groupie Act [How I use all of this to a write a feminist Spidersona and a non-conventional relationship]
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Diane is a HUGE Hobie Groupie - and that's kinda of her main thing.
She runs the Hobie Brown Fanclub on campus, attends all his shows, and wears his guitar pick. She's into him and she's not afraid to show it.
I wanted to write Diane as a purposeful groupie, one who is fine with the title, and even leans into it. Because a lot of the time - and in a lot of fics including guitarists - 'groupie' is seen as a negative thing.
Like K-pop stans, being a 'groupie' - and openly expressing your romantic interest in a hot guy is seen as desperation.
But I wanted to write her as one in spite of this. To swap 'desperation' for unwavering boldness. A girl with the motto 'Closed mouths don't get fed'.
And much like Hobie uses the 'typical punk' label to disarm others, I wanted Diane to mirror that - in the opposite direction.
Diane is a self-proclaimed groupie. And because of that, many (mainly misogynists) assume that she can't think for herself - or at all. And Diane can use that to her advantage.
If Miguel and Jess really believe she only cares about conversations involving Hobie, then they'll talk like she isn't there. And she can listen. If it looks like she's hanging all over him, no one realizes if she's slipping him information.
And it also helps in their relationship.
They both enjoy their privacy.
HQ prohibits relationships between Spidey-people. It's an anomaly waiting to happen - and they make sure to keep a close eye out for it. Plus with Jess breathing down her neck, it's much easier for Diane and Hobie to just keep it underwraps.
In comes the Groupie persona.
No one actually expects the groupie to get the guy. She's desperate, and he's the player guitarist. Plus, if they were dating she couldn't be a 'groupie' right? They wouldn't make sense, would it?
They let people make their own assumptions. By calling herself a groupie, suddenly people think there's no possible way there's something going on, and they don't look closer.
This also allows them the freedom of no labels. Are they boyfriend and girlfriend? Nah she's his groupie. Quit asking questions.
All of this allows me to write Disco in a way that connects back to everything in this post.
By calling herself a 'Groupie' suddenly Diane can subvert expectations of affection, avoid the pressures of labels, and control her image and the amount of information she lets on to people
That in turn helps me write their relationship in a nonconventional way - a way that challenges misogyny around affection and reclaims a sexist fan trope for something more empowering.
Sure, the concept seems silly at first. The ditsy, bubbly, party girl on campus, but I wanted there to be a reason and drive behind it.
Disco-Spider Diane is exactly who she wants to be, an unapologetic, outspoken disco-girl. One that's highly educated and knows her shit.
And also a huge groupie.
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If you've read this far, thank you so much. It genuinely means a lot to me! This is reaaaaaallly long.
[Part 2 here]
Now how about you take this photo of Hobie and we both pretend like me writing this is normal well-adjusted behavior okay? okay
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Bye.
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🐚 Daughter of Neptune headcanons list... 🌊 part three
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Note: ahhh finally done with this unexpected series. Also, this is twice as long as the previous two parts, I got soo carried away haha, well you can't blame me, writing is so fun! This is the last part of this headcanon series, I had so much fun writing this?? Even though I had like a mini writer's block at first, I swear I started typing this part out having no idea what I was doing, but it all turned out better than I expected. This part is not just Jason x reader but it also includes so much platonic stuff with the others of the seven + Reyna + Nico. It's just so fluffy omgg. Happy reading! Thank you sm for all the notes you guys have given me for the previous two parts! Tell me if you guys enjoyed it, do you think I should consider writing more of these headcanon stuff in the future?
Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746404816602972160/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons?source=share
Part two: https://www.tumblr.com/somewhereinhogsmeade/746489087922520064/daughter-of-neptune-headcanons-list-part-two?source=share
•After Jason woke up on the bus, he'd actually remember your eyes and voice VERY clearly. Because those were his two favorite things about you. But Hera had whacked him on the head pretty badly, so he couldn't remember ALL the details about you in the beginning, like Percy did. (I honestly wanted to make him remember you fully even after Hera wiped his memory off, but that would be too similar to Percy and Annabeth lol so I didn't want it to be cliche sorry)
•Now you guys may be wondering, what about Piper and Jason? Okay Piper would admit her feelings for him, but Jason would turn her down, albeit politely though, because it felt utterly wrong. He knew about this special person in his forgotten life, even though her figure was wispy and blurry. He never had any attraction towards Piper, she was a good friend, sure, and it didn't matter how pretty people thought Piper was, because those black Obsidian eyes of the mystery girl he was so familiar with, was alone prettier by every means. (We all love a loyal whipped Jason who thinks that a pair of eyes are more beautiful than a daughter of Aphrodite)
•He knew you were special. He knew that he didn't belong there, in the wilderness school. He knew that he was miles away from home. His real home. But the name of that home never came to him. •the moment he looked at his SPQR tattoo, though, it would bring him vigorous flashes of you and him sparring in a training room.
•Aeolus the wind god, would remind Jason of the time you and him stayed at his palace to slay Trojan the sea monster. Well, of course you went, how can you go to slay a sea monster without taking a sea child with you? Right? That was the last quest you and Jason went on before he disappeared.
Aeolus would trigger that one memory in Jason. Thank the gods for Aeolus. That one memory trigger is what made everything gush back to Jason like a tide.
•He’d remember your name, finally. His Best friend. His crush. His maybe girlfriend. He'd remember his friends from his home. Camp Jupiter. Gosh. He felt such a burst of energy simply by saying that name. Now, he felt homesick.
So you could imagine the excitement he felt, when Leo was building the argo ii. He'd practically gush about you to Leo, and even Piper would be super cool with it. Over the course of the months, Piper realized that Jason and her were not romantically compatible at all, it was all Hera’s mist. She didn't even know what she was thinking, crushing on someone who was so different from her on every level. So now Piper and Jason were like homie coded.
You were super worried after Percy told you that the new, Greek ship, the argo ii would land today. Which was pretty weird, since it meant that Jason was coming back to you. Why were you worried?
•Well, for lots of reasons, what if Jason didn't remember you anymore, what if he lost his feelings for you, what if he found someone else? The stress was real.
•Without even realizing it, you poured your thoughts out to Percy, whom you initially refused to tell about your’s and Jason's.. er.. situationship.
•Percy, would surprisingly be chill about it?? Like you were expecting some panicking now that he knew his sister was romantically involved with someone.
•Percy would calmly tell you that Jason wouldn't stop loving you, proudly pointing to himself as an example, that he never stopped loving annabeth even after the Hera Fiasco. Well. He had a point. That boy was still whipped for his girl.
•So when you locked eyes with Jason, and saw the familiar gleam in his eyes, you knew, he didn't forget. You forgot how piercing his blue eyed gaze was,because it made you feel stuff erupting from your stomach lol (blud is the definition of 🧿👄🧿)
•Without even caring about what your fellow Romans thought, Jason and you would just lunge onto each other tbh. Its canon that Jason is the best hugger ever, so it would be a rib crushing kinda hug.
•You would be SO relieved that he'd remember you and he'd be so relieved that you didn't move on.
•You guys wouldn't kiss, not yet. You still haven't exactly acknowledged your relationship status, BUTTT you do the cheesy af forehead touch thing (you could have sworn percy fake-gagged LOL)That's when Jason noticed your praetor badge, he’d be stunned, and would ask you for details, you’d simply point to the golden eagle perched at the end of the senate house and tell him that you and percy got elected after you both returned the eagle together.
He’d fall in love all over again omgg the heart eyes he’d give youuu. He knew that you were downplaying your achievements tho, so he’d secretly ask Reyna for the full details lol. (Reyna was a proud mom, so she’d give Jason ALLL the deets)
•okay so when Annabeth judo flips percy, you'd be SO taken aback lol, you’d even get a lil uncomfortable bc well that's YOUR brother getting attacked by a random girl- so initially you’d be ready af to throw hands.But after Percy starts laughing you’d realize that THAT'S annabeth. Like Percy's Annabeth. Dam, your brother was with a fierce girl.ANYWAYS, Percy would introduce Annabeth to you proudly, like “THIS is MY sister” (so dramatic and for what reason)
Annabeth would initially be very nervous around you, because, one, she didn't know that Poseidon had ANOTHER kid, gods know what havoc you and percy would cause together, two, you meant a lot to percy and she could clearly see that, an idiot could deny how much love your brother had for you, so she was determined to not mess up her reputation around you, ESPECIALLY after she the look on your face when she flipped Percy (you had a hot temper, need i mention, so without even realizing it, you had directed a very fierce glare at her, oopsie).
Octavian would again, not give up in trying remove your’s and percy’s praetorship by going “Oh there cant be four praetors its against the rules” blah blah that's where percy intervenes with his legendary “we all outrank you loser” lol
So after the group’s lunch scene where they discuss the prophecies and stuff. You, Reyna and Jason would actually talk amongst yourselves, after you guys came to the conclusion that you will have to join the gang in the argo ii. Jason would secretly be overjoyed that he doesn't need to separate from you anymore but you guys would still be sad that Reyna wouldn't be able to come.
This also meant that you would have to give your praetorship up. Gosh your positions in camp Jupiter somehow never stuck permanently, you'd even joke about that. And Reyna would have to handle Camp Jupiter by herself now that all three of you left, But Reyna assured you that it wasn't your fault.
Okay enough with the plot yapping I did. Bc if I continue it would go on for ages. The main reason you're here is because of reader x jason and I'm kinda deviating from that a little.
It would actually take so long till you and Jason get alone time on the argo ii because of group discussions and coach Hedge lol But you both would meet at the deck at like 2 AM (this kinda reminded you both of the times you and he would sneak out to explore New Rome at night.) That's where you both could feel the tension in the air lol. So many unresolved and unrequited feelings on both ends, how would you approach that?
But thankfully, being best friends first gave you guys an upper hand to moving forward in the relationship very quickly. You'd just start off talking about each other's respective journeys in your respective camps. He'd tell you about the quest with Leo and Piper, and you'd tell him about what went on in Camp Jupiter while he was gone.
That's when you realize that Jason looked a little different than when he left. His hair was Messier, a little longer, no more neatly cropped, his azure eyes sparkled when he spoke of Camp half blood, and the war games they had, how different it was from Camp Jupiter, etc.
But instead of feeling upset about how much Jason enjoyed the other camp, you'd feel relief. Relieved that Jason no longer looked stressed anymore, he'd always held this fatigue in his eyes, while he was at camp Jupiter , it was no wonder, considering the politics he'd had to engage in to prove the worth of the twelfth legion, his leader duties + vigorous training had tired him out, but now, some of the fatigue his eyes held had vanished.
Camp half blood seemed to be the place for him. Now you were itching to go to this mystery camp your maybe boyfriend AND your brother seemed to love so much.
Jason would be super nervous to tell you that he liked it better at camp half blood, and that he secretly wanted you to come and stay with him there though. Because he felt like he was betraying his Roman life. He felt like he was betraying your past.
So when he'd tell you, he'd just yap and yap about it out of nervousness. That's when it happened. That's when you kissed him. You would just pull him in. Period.
He'd be super flustered at first, neck reddening and all, but he'd just lean in and be so into it (he's a neck grabber, fight me) You'd think that as a military dude, the guy would be a bad kisser. Hell no. His dad's the chief of getting all the bitches, he ain't letting his son embarrass him by having no charm lol
OH OH and speaking of the old man, The moment your's and Jason's lips met, you would hear a clasp of thunder and see huge steaks of lightning explode in the sky.
You had to admit, the thought of your dad's watching as you both kissed made you feel weird lol
But if Zeus had hated you so much, he would've zapped you to electrons by now, and if Poseidon had hated jason so much, he would've drowned him. But thankfully, neither happened.
After lots of long deep conversations (and kissing)You both would reach the decision that after the whole gaia situation is over, you'd both stay at Camp half blood, but, you'd both return to settle in New Rome as you grew up. I mean, it's Camp Jupiter that you both dislike staying in, not the city itself. The city is paradise for demigods.
But the fates ruined it, so despite gaia’s defeat (No leo is alive and well here okay) after Jason took up the responsibility of building shrines for minor gods, he had to go back and forth between both the camps.
But you, Reyna, Hazel and Frank would help Jason with the minor gods in Rome, While Jason took care of the Greeks. This made his job a tad easier.So the downside was that you kinda had to do long distance for a while AND you hadn't even visited camp half blood yet (Which got on Percy's nerves, the poor boy wanted to show you around his Camp and cabin SO badly, but the fates never left you or Jason alone. The Romans always had duties in front of them.)
But because you, Reyna, Frank, Hazel, Annabeth, and even Leo helped Jason with the shrine stuff. The job got done a lot quicker.
You both were finally at peace.So as a celebration to finishing the shrine project, Percy and Jason DRAGGED you to camp half blood and had the whole day spent with all of the 7 (including Reyna and Nico).
When I tell you, you've never had THIS much fun ALL your life omg.
You never got to bond with Leo, Piper or Annabeth properly because of the war, and stuff. But today? It was like you guys have been friends since forever.
You played capture the flag, You and Percy used up your water shenanigans to put on the most dramatic fountain show EVER (Annabeth was right in her judgment, you both were completely chaotic together) she realized how fun you actually were, not even half as grumpy as you looked. After you and Percy caused a huge avalanche that almost turned into a hail storm (which was prevented by wind boy Jason) Leo told you guys to stop flexing your fancy shmancy weather powers.
Piper taught you guys how to surf, which only ended in You and Percy somehow splattering water on each other and you aggressively tackling him into the bottom of the ocean, WHICH ended in a chaotic “who can swim faster?’’ competition between you both, You both were SO dedicated that you created a huge bubble to bring everyone into the bottom of the ocean to spectate (Frank turned into a sea urchin though lol)
You and Percy ended up in an argument over who won. Mind you, if you read part one, you'd know that Percy and you have this ability to telepathically converse with each other underwater, but only you both understand, so it would end up looking like you're making strangled fish noises to the others. Nico, Piper, and Leo were absolutely hysterical. Jason was amused but so clueless. Hazel was mortified, while Annabeth and Reyna hoped you and Percy didn't kill each other. And Frank? He was still an urchin.
Also, since You, Jason, Percy, Annabeth, Hazel and Frank would all go to New Rome College together, you guys would have SO many double dates together omgg.
I forgot to mention, you met Tyson and Percy's new little sister Estelle, so now your sibling group has expanded even more.
did i mention that percy and you would have matching dolphin plushies? yeah. he'd have the blue and you'd have the grey
Tyson would love you sm omg :( he'd keep making you stuff every time you showed up in camp half blood.
Also, Sometimes when Percy and Annabeth would be busy, You and jason would so babysit Estelle (which Sally would adore) Jason would so take Estelle flying.
can I just take this moment to emphasize how much Sally would care about Jason?? Like after hearing jason’s erm tragic past, Sally would get so protective of him and give him sm food and everything :( Jason would get a little emotional too. Like you can just see his eyes tearing up whenever Sally hugs him :(((
Even though Reyna joined the hunters, You and Jason would make it a point to see her at least Every two weeks. She'd be so proud of how far you and Jason had come, even after the long break that temporarily had your relationship on hold. Now Reyna could sleep peacefully lol since the poor girl had seen you both hopelessly pining for eachother since you were like 9 lol
She had listened to you telling her that you weren't good enough for Jason to like you back, AND him telling her that he wasn't good enough for you, after all.
Okay after you guys got older, because of the amount of services you and Jason had done for Camp Jupiter, you guys would end up receiving such a cool house in New Rome as a gift (it's like the least you deserved for all that you've been through lol) It would have a fancy Roman bath and everything. and even better, it was not far from where percy and Annabeth were living. So it was a win win.
You and Jason would totally iris message Nico at least once a week, you both were basically proud parents when you see Nico all lovey dovey in a relationship with Will. (Is this how Reyna felt seeing you and Jason? Maybe, yes)
Also, you and Thalia met not long after she came to Rome to check out the minor god's shrines. She loved you, like almost immediately, Jason iris messaged her atleast twice a week, so he told her all about you. So Thalia would be SO happy that someone was treating her lil bro right. He deserved that.
Speaking of family, Zeus had just grudgingly accepted that you were his son's girlfriend lol Poseidon would actually be a little chill about it. He wasn't as judgemental as his brother. But just because you and Jason were dating didn't mean that your dad's didn't stop having a go at each other lol
But you both would make it a point to start aggressively kissing eachother whenever you spot statues of your dad's placed next to eachother. Simply to piss them off. And it works. Every. Single. Time.
You would hear a clasp of thunder each time you do this. You and Jason would just look at eachother and burst into giggles. It was a tradition now between you both.
Sometimes Jason would still look at you like you were made of stardust, and vice versa.
In the end, you and Jason were what people called “Childhood Sweethearts”
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lili-harg · 6 months
Note
Can you do a Megumi fic?? Where the duo (Yuji and nobara) trying to tease Megumi with reader's name! and it's just a heartwarming scene. Pls do it. Thank you! I love your writing.
hii, thank you for your request, I really liked it and sorry for the delay, I had a bit of a busy week and also infinite thanks for your words, I am very glad that you like my writing 🫶🏻💗
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Don’t say her name
• Fushiguro Megumi x Reader
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-Yuuji idiot you must be quiet!
-But I can't move Nobara!
The two young sorcerers were hiding behind a small bush ready to spy on their reserved black-haired friend.
But before continuing let's see how all this started.
Lately Nobara and Yuuji had noticed their partner a little distracted, out of his mind, something that was not at all common for Megumi. So one afternoon Nobara decides to tell the pink-haired man about her suspicions.
-"Yuuji, have you noticed that Fushiguro is more... I don't know, distracted." She says smiling, eager to comment on her suspicion
- "Umm now that I think about it, maybe I noticed he wasn't as irritated as normally" says the pink haired man in a carefree manner - "Why do you ask?"
Nobara gives a disappointed sigh, as she clearly didn't hear the answer she wanted to hear. -"Don't you realize Itadori!!!, it's very obvious, Fushiguro is in love" she says with a big suspicious smile
- "In love? Do you think?" he says doubtfully.
-"Well, of course, that's why he's so distracted and so happy, what else could it be. Men are so easy to decipher" Nobara says the last part between murmurs.
- "There's only one way to check it," says the pink-haired man, standing up much more excited than he was a few minutes before.
Nobara gives him a knowing smile and explains to Itadori her plan to find out.
And that's how we got to the current situation, after watching Megumi write on her phone with a small grimace (which could be taken as a smile) they decided that they would follow him to wherever their "date" was.
So after following him, and passing by one or another store, they arrive at the moment where Nobara verifies her theory.
While the young people were hiding in that small bush, the sorceress said to her friend.
-"I knew it!! He's heading to the flower shop, without a doubt Fushiguro is a romantic. She says proudly for successfully proving her theory.
-"In fact I don't think he's heading there" Itadori says in a whisper while pointing at his partner.
Clearly As Yuuji said, the young black-haired sorcerer had continued past the flower shop entering a bookstore? Nobara's face was shocked.
-"It's not possible, let's follow him more closely, I'm never wrong." The young sorceress says firmly, while she brushes off the leaves of her uniform and drags Itadori towards the bookstore where his friend had entered.
Then, in the most stealthy way they could find, they began to follow the black-haired man. They moved behind him, looking at everyone. the books he was looking at, without finding any answer.
-"Maybe he's looking for a book to give her instead of a rose" says Yuuji
-"That's a good point, it would also prove my theory, now we just have to figure out which book he chooses and for whom. is" says Nobara, very immersed in her role as a spy.
This is how they chase him to the Manga section where they see him take one after inspecting it with his phone, determined to buy it. Anxiously, the two sorcerers pick up the manga after Megumi walks away and can see that it was the new volume of a comedy manga called "The Disastrous Life of Kusuo Saiki".
-"Wait a moment..." Nobara says remembering something "This is the manga that Y/n said she wanted last week" now smiling she has the proof that was the last piece to confirm her theory "Are you thinking what I'm thinking Itadori" she says while looking at the pink haired boy who nods at him with a knowing look.
-"FUSHIGURO IS IN LOVE WITH Y/N" they say excitedly in unison, without noticing that they would attract the attention of a certain sorcerer who, upon recognizing those annoying screams, would know who the owners were.
A very upset Megumi, after paying for her purchase, drags her classmates out of the bookstore (where they had actually been kicked out for their behavior) and tells them with annoyance.
-"What the hell were they doing in there!!?"
-"Or don't act mysterious, we already discovered your secret" says the young sorceress with a big smile.
-"You can't keep it to yourself anymore Fushiguro, if you liked Y/n you would have to tell us, we are your friends" says Itadori
Megumi says when hearing Y/n's name in love in the same sentence, I can't hide the blush on her cheeks and ears.
-"What, what are they saying" he says annoyed while turning his face
-"Ohh come on we already know, no one loves that manga more than Y/n" says Nobara pointing to the small bag that Megumi was carrying.
When the black-haired man analyzes the situation, he manages to realize that they had been following him all this time, so he internally curses how intrusive his companions were and, exhausted, he sighs and confesses (in a very short way) the feelings he has for his recently named partner Y/n.
Nobara and Itadori high-five after having successfully proven their theory and decide to help their friend confess his feelings for Y/n, although he refused and insisted that he did not need help.
And that's how on a beautiful afternoon Megumi hands over the book, and she also hands over her chosen gift for the black-haired boy as they had planned a few days ago on the phone, but what Y/n didn't know is that inside the book there was a letter where the sorcerer confessed his feelings. And so it was that on that same Autumn afternoon the two young lovers shared their first kiss.
And from some distant bush two hands high-fived again for the success of their plan.
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willbyersabyss · 1 year
Text
Mike is gay
Disclaimer: This is my personal interpretation and is not meant to start discourse. Anyone who calls it discourse will be blocked, thanks!
The biggest reason why people believe Mike is attracted to girls is because of his relationship with El, especially in season one. I don’t think he was genuinely interested in her at all. I think Mike was and has been experiencing a lot of compulsory heterosexuality. That’s not to say that Mike has been intentionally deceiving El all this time, a lot of his behavior was subconscious! That’s how socialization works! We aren’t always aware of the expectations being forced on us and this is especially true for heterosexual socialization. Now let’s see how the show hints at Mike’s relationship with El being a case of comphet:
We are supposed to believe that Mike fell in love with El when they met, but when we watch the first week they spent together, it’s pretty obvious that that’s not the case. Mike showed simple kindness to El when they first met because she was clearly scared and traumatized. Mike is a very protective person, as we learn throughout the show. He wasn’t being kind to her because he’s romantically interested, he’s just a protective person. 
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El is the only girl in the show that Mike shows “interest” in. It’s established before Mike’s crush develops that El looks like a boy to outsiders! We are also reminded of this after there are romantic hints between mlvn (when Troy is talking to the police). She doesn’t even look like a girl! So the only girl we see Mike with in a romantic context looks like a boy. Yeah that supposed attraction to girls isn’t looking great right now.
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Mike and Dustin are discussing how El got her powers when Lucas starts accusing Mike of having a crush on El. Mike didn’t say anything remotely romantic about her, he was just correcting Lucas that it’s okay to be weird! Also it’s interesting how they only compare El to male superheroes. Not only that, they compare her to the X-Men! Lucas believes Mike is interested in El right after they compare her to men? Okay.
Edit: Despite the deceiving name, the X-Men are actually not all men! There is a woman superhero with telekinetic powers that they were likely comparing El to. The choice to use the name X-Men rather than the actual character is an interesting choice, though!
Side note: I feel like Mike had similar views to Jonathan on normalcy in the beginning of season one, but that changes as people lead Mike to be with El. He thought it was okay to be different, maybe even cool, until his friends and family told him otherwise. Anyways!
Mike seems genuinely confused during this scene. This isn’t the typical “What? No way!” reaction that an embarrassed 12 year old would have when discussing a crush, Mike genuinely doesn’t understand why Lucas made this assumption. If you watch the scene, Mike’s tone isn’t defensive or embarrassed. If Mike had a crush on El at this point, why was he confused by Lucas’ assumption? This is definitely where Mike starts to mix up admiration for love. Lucas has a huge influence on how Mike views relationships. Since Lucas thought Mike had a crush on El, Mike must like her right? Mike starts viewing El in a different light after this interaction, beginning his comphet journey. 
Mike only starts to show signs of a “crush” on El after Lucas implies that he should. A boy being nice to a girl? Must be love! This is a huge sign of heteronormativity. Mike starts acting on these heteronormative expectations. He gives El a makeover to make her look like the ideal girl, he calls her pretty while acting out the “guy sees girl all dressed up and is shocked!” trope, and gives her special attention. Honestly I’m trying to find more romantic mlvn moments in s1 to help my point and there just… aren’t any. That’s it. He calls her pretty a few times and then they kiss at the end. 
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This line sticks out to me. El is the first girl that isn’t “grossed out” by Mike and this is why Mike likes her. He doesn’t like El, he likes the concept of El. Mike is a very insecure person who has been called ugly by bullies his entire life. When El, a cool superhero, shows interest in him, he feels like he must be cool by association. He’s been told that girls being attracted to him is a marker for importance and he finally has that. Mike doesn’t want girls to be interested in him because he wants a girlfriend, he just wants his insecurities to be relieved. Mike admires El’s super powers because she’s similar to the (male) superheroes he admires. His relationship with El is based on admiration and the desire to be desired rather than actual attraction. This is a common symptom of comphet (from personal experience). 
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Later on, El asks if she’s still pretty without the wig. Mike reassures her that she’s pretty and then he makes a face. What is this facial expression? Why does he look grossed out after calling El pretty? El starts to lean in towards him and he just stands stiff. He does this in later seasons as well, but I’ll get into that later. El is trying to kiss him (?) and he’s frozen. Why isn’t he leaning in too? It seems like he doesn’t want to kiss her. Interesting. 
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Mike and Nancy have a conversation about their new love interests. Nancy assumes Mike was acting weird because of Will and Mike thinks she’s been weird because of Steve. The thing is, they were right. Nancy was acting weird because of Steve! She was performing a big act of conformity at the beginning of the season. What was this conformity? Ditching her nerdy interests and trying to grow up by getting a boyfriend. Sound familiar? That’s a surprise tool that will help us later. Mike was being weird because he was grieving and looking for Will. Everything he was doing was to find Will, even hanging out with El all the time. They’re both right in their assumptions here while implying that they were wrong! 
Nancy, like Lucas, has a big influence on how Mike views relationships. When she assumes he likes El, he acts grossed out because Nancy denied his accusation that she likes Jonathan seconds earlier. He’s mirroring her because he admires her, whether he wants to admit it or not. We see him find her cool for breaking the lock just before this! He wants to be like his big sister. So now two people Mike looks up to have tried to get Mike to see El romantically. Mike is definitely internalizing these assumptions. Everyone thinks he likes her, so must like her, right? 
It’s interesting how Nancy implies Mike’s behavior around El is weird. It feels similar to…
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Another person who finds it weird that Mike is hanging out with a girl. Is this just Mike’s family teasing him about being nerdy, or is he lacking an interest in girls in their eyes? The people closest to Mike (Lucas, Nancy, Ted, and Karen) all find his behavior around El to be weird. I don’t necessarily think they suspect that Mike is queer, but from the audience’s perspective, this may be hinting at him being gay.
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This conversation is extremely queer coded as well. Karen talks about being more open while Mike is literally hiding someone in his closet! Mike is hiding a girl (who looks like a boy) in his closet. Is he hiding his lack of attraction to girls in the closet?
“All this that’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you.” Is the beginning of this conversation. So what was going on with Will? Obviously that he was missing, but what exactly did the town think happened to Will? They thought he was killed either by a homophobe or another queer person. Karen seems to be fairly popular in Hawkins so she probably heard these rumors. On the surface, this just seems like a conversation about grief, but when you look closer, is Karen trying to spark a deeper conversation with Mike about these rumors and how they make him feel? If so, what does Karen believe Mike is hiding here? She obviously knows how special Will is to Mike and she might suspect that he is queer too. Maybe in the same way Will is...
Anyways, back to what Nancy said. So after Lucas teased Mike for crushing on El, Mike started to see El differently than before. He feels like he has to develop feelings for her because his friends are expecting it, so he starts to force his behavior to change around her. Instead of just showing basic kindness, there’s more of a tenderness in the way he treats her. He’s testing out Lucas’ theory! Once Nancy accuses Mike of liking El, Mike’s act of conformity gets pushed to its limit. He only tries kissing El after his conversation with Nancy. When El seemed like she was going to kiss him before, he wasn’t into it. Mike is trying to hide his lack of interest in girls by pushing himself towards the only girl that has shown interest in him because everyone is telling him that’s what he should do!
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And here we are. What is this? This is just… weird. Why did they have this said about what’s supposed to be a romantic couple? This isn’t the first time either. The boys said she was Mike’s cousin earlier. I know there’s a trope where characters call each other friends before getting together, but this is just a whole other level. 
El expressing that she sees Mike like a brother right before they kiss is not a good sign! Mike says that his relationship with El is different, but starts to backtrack. “It’s different… or I guess it’s not.” Um? I don’t think Mike views his relationship with El as familial at all, of course not, but this tells me that he only really sees her as a friend. If he was actually attracted to her, why would he even imply this at all? This also shows how he’s letting other people change how he views his relationship with El. He’s trying to say that he likes her until she implies that they’re more like family, and then he changes his mind. Mike is easily swayed by other people’s opinions when it comes to relationships (at least in season one). 
So I believe Mike mixed up admiration for El with romantic feelings and this was heavily influenced by others pushing him to be with her. Since El is really the only girl he shows interest in in the show (which I’ll get more into in a bit), this points to him being gay! Mike wasn’t purposefully using El to hide being gay, I don’t think he was aware of his queerness yet, but he was conforming to the expectations placed on him. 
Now that we’ve established that Mike’s feelings for El were not genuine, let’s get into the other evidence of him being gay:
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Boys only! This line feels like it has similar implications to Will’s “free of girls!” line. If Will wanting to be free of girls is a hint that he’s gay, then Mike’s “boys only!” serves the same purpose. The same goes for Will’s cluelessness about girls (Girls don’t play video games. Girls go to science camp?) Mike is clueless about girls the entirety of s3 and even agrees with the video game line Will said in s2. They’re clueless about girls because they’re gay. Of course, real teenage boys are often clueless about girls, but I’m thinking about this in the context of a TV show. What does this tell us about Mike? It could just be for relatability but I think there’s something deeper there.
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And here are a few shots of Mike looking disgusted or angry at the thought of showing attraction to girls. The first scene is where Dustin tells Mike he is going to flirt with a bunch of girls. Why is Mike making that face? Flirting with girls confuses and disgusts him, apparently. The fourth scene is where Lucas tells Mike to talk to El with ominous music playing in the back. Why is scary music playing when Mike is thinking about talking to a girl? That’s kind of gay. 
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Mike, like Will, showed no interest in winning over Princess Daphne while Dustin and Lucas fought over her. But Mike staying quiet doesn’t mean he’s disinterested, right? Nope! Princess Daphne foreshadowed Lucas and Dustin fighting over Max. Mike showed zero interest in Max. Even Will was (platonically) intrigued by her, but overall he was indifferent. Mike and Will have the same reaction to Max. They aren’t showing attraction to her, unlike Dustin and Lucas. Again, Mike and Will having similar reactions to girls points to their sexuality being the same. Mike’s reaction was actually more extreme compared to Will! He was trying to kick Max out!
"Awesome? You haven't even spoken a word to her." Funny coming from the person who claims to have fallen in love with a girl at first sight. But that's a topic for later.
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Mike didn’t want Max to join the party because he didn’t like the idea of his friends moving on from their more nerdy interests to get girlfriends. They were ditching Halloween to impress Max. Mike’s behavior towards Max in s2 is the same as Will’s behavior towards El in s3. Will didn’t want to move on from DnD for girls! We know Will is gay, so what does this entail for Mike? If Will’s annoyance towards his friends hanging out with girls was a sign that he’s gay, then we can assume Mike’s annoyance in s2 was for the same reason. Obviously, both Mike and Will have multiple reasons for their behavior, but one of those reasons has to do with them being gay.
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El tries to kiss Mike and, for a second time, he stands still. His eyes are wide and he almost looks scared? He’s not looking at her lips or showing any attraction towards her. Why is it that every time El tries to kiss Mike first, he’s like a deer in headlights? It’s almost like he needs to talk himself into kissing her and that’s why he doesn’t like when she does it first. Seems pretty gay to me!
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I feel like Mike started to pick up on his feelings for Will here. They felt the spark for most of the season, but the Snow Ball is when it really clicked for Mike. He started mirroring the actions of his friends and family from s1 by pushing Will towards a girl. Everyone did it to him so Mike thought this is what he was supposed to do! So why does it feel so wrong? Mike starts putting the pieces together and he’s scared of what he’s feeling. He complained about his friends growing up and moving on to get girlfriends the entire season, but at least he had Will, right? Then this girl takes Will from him too and now Mike is left in the dust. He feels like he has to do the same so he runs into the safety net of El to try and push his newfound feelings for Will away and be normal.
This kickstarts Mike’s behavior in s3. He’s going after a girl to try and be normal so he can be safe! He’s scared to acknowledge his feelings. Why isn’t Will doing the same? Mike is scared for both himself and Will. Mike has heard what everyone thinks about Will, so why isn’t Will trying to prove them wrong? I feel like Mike’s outbursts at Will are not only because of his repressed feelings for him, but also because he’s confused why Will can be so loud about not caring about girls while Mike is trying everything he can to force himself to like girls. They’re supposed to be “growing up” and getting girlfriends, but Will doesn’t want that and neither does Mike. Mike is trying to conform so he doesn’t face the same fate that Will has faced his entire life. It gets so bad that Mike starts to contribute to the struggles Will faces for not wanting to conform.
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The rain fight makes so much more sense in this context. Why was Mike so frustrated that Will didn’t like girls? He wanted Will to be conforming the same way he was because conformity is safe. Otherwise, Will was putting himself in danger. I’m not saying that Mike knows that Will is gay, but Mike has watched Will get bullied for exactly that so he expects Will to conform to avoid the bullying! Mike was advocating against getting girlfriends until Will seemingly got a girl at the dance, so when Will didn't even stay with that girl, Mike’s effort was for nothing. Mike thought he had no other choice but to force himself to like a girl and when Will shows that that’s not the case, Mike wishes that he could do the same. Mike takes his internal frustration out on Will because he wants Will to be safe instead of chasing after the things they both want but can’t have (playing games for the rest of their lives). 
And so we come to the conclusion that Mike was projecting onto Will during their fight. “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” Is Mike’s internal struggle being taken out on Will. “What did you think, really? We were never gonna get girlfriends?” And Mike thought exactly that in s2! He thought the party would stick together for a bit longer until Dustin and Lucas ditched them for girls. This tells us that Mike was projecting here because he had the same thought he’s accusing Will of. So if these lines are projections, that means that Mike doesn’t like girls. He has to be gay.
Let’s use that surprise tool I mentioned earlier! Nancy ditched her nerdy interests to get a boyfriend (Steve). That’s where Mike initially got it hammered in his head that growing up means getting a girlfriend and moving on from “childish” things. Nancy’s relationship with Steve is an act of conformity and we know this thanks to Barb who calls Nancy out on her behavior. Will is doing the same to Mike! The argument Nancy and Barb have (this isn’t you) is a small parallel to the rain fight. Mike is conforming because he has witnessed others do it and has been told to do so. He can be like his straight sister, right? 
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Once again, we have El initiating a kiss with Mike standing completely still. That’s the third time this has happened! If Mike was just surprised, why didn’t he start to kiss back? Or at least close his eyes? He had plenty of time to react. When El leaves, he has a strange expression on his face. The way his eyes dart around show that he’s realizing something, a realization in front of the closet with a lightbulb over his head. Mike thought that if he kissed El enough times, romantic feelings would eventually develop and his feelings for boys would just go away. This moment in Will’s room is when Mike realizes that those feelings are not going away. 
If this realization was just about Mike figuring out he’s attracted to boys, why is it happening after kissing a girl? Why is he standing in front of a closet while kissing El? His realization is not about liking boys, it’s about not liking girls. If Mike was realizing that he likes both boys and girls here, it would have happened after his talk with Will, not his kiss with El. He feels the need to hide in the closet because his repression is not working.
The Hopper’s letter sequence supports this as well. Mike is shown during these lines:
 “I feel like you’re pulling away from me or something.”
“I don’t want things to change.”
“So, I think that’s maybe why I came in here, to try to stop that change. To make things go back to how they were.”
El isn’t the one pulling away from Mike. We just saw her tell him she loves him! This line is foreshadowing events between seasons. Will doesn’t try to call Mike and they don’t have any contact. Mike tries to call, Will is pulling away. How is Mike changing? Of course, things are changing because the Byers are moving, but I sense a double meaning here. These scenes parallel the night they found Will’s body at the quarry. Mike feels like he’s losing Will for a second time because things are changing. Mike’s feelings are changing.
And this leads us into s4. Mike still attempts to repress his feelings by staying with El and it’s getting easier since she’s across the country. He doesn’t have to face his feelings for Will when he can’t see him!
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Now let’s talk about his room decor. He has a couple of buff men (well one is a dragon but still) and one woman. This may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t necessarily think that room decor is always an indicator for sexuality. Nancy has posters of women in her room and as much as I love to hc her as sapphic, I think it’s more likely that she’s meant to be straight in the show. So, in my personal opinion, the woman on Mike’s poster isn’t hinting at his sexuality.
I do think the one way sign is important, though. I believe this serves a double meaning. It’s pointing at the closet, but it’s also hinting at Mike’s sexuality being one way. This sign points in the same direction as Mike’s triangle pocket that’s over his heart and always pointing at Will. Mike’s heart is not split between El and Will, it goes one direction. Will! A boy!
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Speaking of split, let’s talk about this. This line is commonly used as bi evidence, but I don’t interpret it that way. I think this was more foreshadowing who Mike pays attention to throughout the day. Yellow is Will and purple is El! We see Mike noticing all the details about Will being upset, but he doesn’t even pick up on El looking uncomfortable when Angela shows up. He was focused on Will more than he was El! If this line was about sexuality, why didn’t they make it blue and pink (the usual colors for gender) instead of yellow and purple? This feels more person specific rather than an overall read on Mike’s sexuality. And this could just be a double meaning but again, this is my personal interpretation.
Also this line is in past tense. “I kinda did a 70/30 split.” If this is a double meaning for his sexuality, it’s in the past tense. He tried to do a split and it didn’t work because there’s too much yellow! His attraction to boys overshadows his (nonexistent) attraction to girls!
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And now onto this load of bullshit. Mike lied. That’s pretty much a fact at this point. “I’m sorry I don’t say it more.” And he’s literally never said it to her face. “It’s not because I’m scared of you. I’ve never felt that way.” Lie. He was definitely scared of her a few times in s1 and possibly when she hit Angela in s4. But the most important lie here is that he fell in love with her at first sight. Hours after they met, he wanted to send her to a mental asylum so they could find Will. He only started to really care about her when he found out she was in danger and when she said she could help find Will. He called her a weapon and yelled “what’s wrong with you?” multiple times. That’s not love. If Mike ever had feelings for El, why would he feel the need to lie about when that happened? He could’ve said the Snow Ball or some other significant moment in their relationship (there are none), but he lied! He couldn’t name the actual moment he fell in love with her because it never happened. So if Mike never had feelings for El, that means he’s gay. Mike doesn’t show attraction to girls otherwise!
The climax of the monologue is the “you’re my superhero” line. Mike doesn’t even view calling someone a superhero as romantic. He calls his friends superheroes multiple times. Why the hell is that the climax when he doesn’t see it as romantic? And what kind of superhero? Every time Mike refers to El as a specific kind of hero, it’s a male hero. The X-Men and Superman. Other characters are perfectly capable of calling El “supergirl” or saying she’s like Wonder Woman. Why does Mike seem incapable of acknowledging his girlfriend’s femininity? Gay!
I didn’t really talk about how he shows attraction to boys because if you’re reading this, I assume you know that already. I’m just going to leave this here and it should be enough:
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And with that, I’m going to wrap this up here. There’s more evidence I could address, but I wanted to focus on the evidence that’s most significant to me! Mike has not shown genuine attraction to girls and his relationship with El is a form of compulsory heterosexuality. Also, yes the show will confirm his sexuality in some way. Mike doesn’t exist just to be a love interest. His journey through queerness is just as important as the currently confirmed queer characters. I think they’ll confirm it in a similar way to Will and Robin where it’s not explicitly said, but still obvious. Michael Wheeler is gay!
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dystopyx-blog · 3 months
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what do you think of yandere azul?
I think his yandere typing is a mix of possessive and manipulative. Like manipulative should be pretty obvious. Mr. Contract Man. Absolutely the type to pull some shady underhanded deals if that’s what it takes to get you close to him. Because, as I’ve said, he’s also possessive. You are HIS.
you two probably have a bit of a slow burn. No love at first sight for him. In fact, he really doesn’t think much of you at all. All he’s focused on is how you can benefit him. Eventually, during the events of octavinelle, he starts to realize how much he underestimated you, how smart you are. He assumed you’d be as dumb as the idiots you surround yourself with (Ace, Deuce, Grim). But you’re not. You’re probably more on the level with Azul himself. In fact, the only thing holding you back (in his opinion) is your emotions. He decides he’ll help you. Help you realize your friends are beneath you and you could be doing something much more with your life. Like helping him. Afterall, he owes you after the overblot, right? He has the tweels follow you around when he can’t. And not just stalking (if only it were just that), they get up close and personal. The whole point is to seperate you from your other “undeserving” friends, right? So they get involved. One tweel on either side. Floyd scares off most folks, but if someone does get too close, Jade handles it from there. I’m sure you quickly get sick of it. You confront the tweels, but they insinuate (cuz of course they don’t give it to you easy) that they’re just taking orders. So you march your fine self straight to Azul and…
He finds you utterly adorable. You want the tweels off your back? Okay. Then spend more time with Azul. You’re scheming and planning, meanwhile Azul is trying to remember why he’s doing this?
He’s been slowly developing his yandere-ness, but it’s in spending time with you where his romantic attraction actually amps up. He can see why those fools in Heartslabyul are so fond of you now. With each forced hangout, he insists on more and more. And each one gets more and more date-like. Until he’s straight up calling them dates and brushing you off if you try to say anything about it. You two are practically already dating, right? The rest of the school certainly thinks so! (Thanks to the help from some well placed rumors by the tweels)
I mentioned he’s possessive, yeah? No longer will the tweels accompany you, he does it himself. Hand in hand. if you won’t take his hand, fine, he’ll sling his coat over your shoulders so everyone knows :). He views you on par with his precious contracts! Really, you should feel honored. If he could keep you locked up he would! (He’s working on it.) You are HIS little angelfish, he’s really just trying to find the perfect tank to show you off in tbh.
Deuce: you never hang out with us anymore :( Ace: yeah, you’re different now that you have a boyfriend. You: I DO NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND
Oh, how you wound Azul with your words! Clearly someone needs a few more dates to realize who they belong to ❤️
editing now that I’ve been awake longer (this was one of the first things I did after waking up lmao)
He’s interested at you at first for your brains, becomes more interested because of your heart, gets obsessed because of your kindness, even to him. The possession comes from how fucking nice you are to him, even as he does manipulate you. Sure, you give him sass and snark (fuel for the flames tbh), but you’re honest and open with compliments. Reassuring him he’s beautiful, somehow always at the exact times he needs it most. You make all three hearts thump.
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myfairkatiecat · 2 months
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The misunderstanding of how Sophie "didn't realize her feelings for Keefe" in this fandom is wild tbh.
It's not that she had no choice in what she was feeling. It's that she had a crush on Fitz basically from the beginning--one based mostly on looks at first--that slowly developed into more as their relationship became closer. But Sophie had already acknowledged that she had a crush on him from basically the day they met.
That wasn't her first thought when she met Keefe. She noticed he was attractive, sure, but she was used to the suspicious way everyone looked like the epitome of human beauty standards by now. So she didn't view all of her interactions with Keefe through the same lens through which she viewed her interactions with Fitz.
She developed very close relationships with both boys, even just as friends. It's clear from Sophie's actions and behavior around Keefe that she cares about him, is comfortable with him, and their relationship truly is stronger than a lot of her other friendships. Even just as a friendship.
She also devloped a very close friendship with Fitz. It's clear that they trust each other a lot, especially in the earlier books, and their cognate bond only strengthened that. There was clearly something special about their friendship as well. But Sophie saw all of the moments through the lens of her crush.
Love is a choice, but feelings can creep up on you. They really can. If they couldn't, maybe I'd be able to stop having a stupid crush on one of my gay best friends, cause that's seriously going nowhere. Sophie developed feelings for Keefe slowly, while she also had feelings for Fitz. That's part of what was so complicated.
So in Lodestar, when Keefe grabs her hand and feels her "heart emotions," it's not that he's feeling her real emotions, and her head is all filled with Fitz but all of that is just superficial emotions. What's really happening is that he's feeling from her the emotions she has yet to name. When Sophie enhances him, Keefe doesn't need Sophie to acknowledge to herself what the feelings are in order for him to know them.
Are you guys all seriously telling me you've never had a crush on someone that you told yourself wasn't a crush very convincingly for a long time, only to eventually realize that it was definitely a crush for a lot of that tme? Because... that's a normal thing that happens sometimes.
It's not that Fitz was in her head and Keefe was in her heart. Both of them were probably in her heart, because she'd developed close relationships with both of them and began to have romantic feelings for them both. But she hadn't thought about her feelings for Keefe, whereas she spent a lot of time thinking about her feelings for Fitz. That's why Keefe could only tell her feelings for him when he could feel her heart emotions.
She also just... began to lose some of her feelings for Fitz around Legacy, and her feelings for Keefe definitely grew. It doesn't mean her feelings for Fitz were never real, but I can't say I'm surprised that a fifteen-year-old girl ended up changing her mind about what she wanted.
Anyway, I'm not saying it's a plot line you have to like, but I think a lot of people, including a lot of sokeefe shippers, think that the idea was "Fitz was in Sophie's head (she THOUGHT she liked him) but Keefe was in her heart (she ACTUALLY liked him and didn't even realize it!)" and that's just. Not even what happened. That's not the point of the whole head/heart emotions thing at all.
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stitchzin · 2 months
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Sasuke The Demisexual King
I was a bit apprehensive about making this post because English is not my native language. So, apologies in advance. But thank you @kirinlady for the comment.
First of all, being demisexual has nothing to do with being gay or straight; you can be either. Another point is that you can have your headcanon; you are free to do so. But I am focusing on the canon line Kishimoto intended, which was SasuSaku from the start, according to the databooks and the novels.
There is A LOT OF CONTEXT SO GET READY.
Let's start!
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In the first part of the Naruto series, Sasuke is very touch-deprived, traumatized by his family's murder by his brother, living in the house where they were killed, and self-isolating. A more correct way to describe it is to say he is touch-starved. Lack of physical touch can lead to feelings of emptiness and loneliness.
Sasuke had been without care for so long that being touched in a non-aggressive way might have given him sensory overload.
It's important to discuss these points when it comes to Sasuke's story. Naruto was also touch-deprived, but he externalized it, while Sasuke internalized it. This context aside:
A good part of the reason why people think Sasuke is gay is because he repels the touch of women and rejects flirtations from many girls. Sasuke doesn't need to feel anything towards these people, no matter their intentions. A man rejecting a girl does not make him gay, just as a girl rejecting a guy does not make her a lesbian. People have the right to their own bodies. It doesn't matter if you or many people would act differently; Sasuke is not that guy.
As I said, you can have your headcanon, but even fictional characters are people. Doubting someone's sexuality just because they don't follow a pattern says more about people in real life than about the character.
A good example is Gaara, who is clearly asexual with clear romantic feelings towards Naruto. I can see that in him more than in Sasuke. But this is my headcanon. I said Asexual no Aromantic.
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Back in the series, Sasuke eventually gets more comfortable with Team 7. Kakashi respects his boundaries, Naruto is not the hugging type with him, but Sakura is another story. He can not avoid her like all the girls.
But this time is different. He sees her maturing, becoming a friend to him, and like a sister to Naruto. And this is the part where Sasuke starts to change. Seeing Sakura and Naruto's interactions makes him angry, maybe jealous. Sakura's attention was entirely his, but now it isn't, though a lot of it still is for him.
And this healthy distance makes him realize he misses her, maybe even wants her close. This brings us to the second part of being touch-deprived: What do you do when someone touches you? Mostly, he stands there or keeps his arms still. But he is not annoyed or pushing her away. He could, but he just doesn't want to.
She has such power over him that she can stop him even while he is controlled by Orochimaru's seal. He reaches for her while in pain, he gets mad when she is hurt. We all love the phase "who did this to you". He remembers her hug when he is losing control. She is that light.
They are kids at this point, but I really think he had feelings already. He wanted to protect her as a friend, and as something he did not understand. Lets not mention the blant Jealousy at adate ( =I think that's his name", and feeling powerless when Naruto saves her instead of him. But he had no time to figure out his feelings before being manipulated by Orochimaru's machinations to leave.
Even when he left, Sasuke accepted her feelings but chose to go anyway. But accepting her feelings, doesn't mean he is ready or is the time to act on them.
I have a post on their goodbye.
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Now to the point of the post: Is Sasuke demisexual?
Demisexuality means being sexually attracted to someone only when you have an emotional bond with them.
The first part of the post was about 12-year-olds. This part is about 15/16-year-olds. Sasuke could have had any girl, and this is the age where most people's hormones are crazy. But he does not feel that need.
When facing Sakura for the first time, he recognizes her immediately. Sure, her hair is the same, but it has been three years. He is not attacking; he is just looking at her. It could be coldness, or it could be a boy who does not know what to do. I can't know what would have happened if they were alone. Sasuke shifts after Naruto gets there. His voice tone is different; he is not as pleased to see Naruto as he is to see her.
(there are great fics on this cenario, I would love some links because it was the SasuSaku fanfiction golden age)
This part is a more general view, but MOST demisexuals don't flirt like most people. Since it is deeply connected to emotions, there are a lot of acts of service, a lot of stares, and small touches. Much of what Sasuke shows towards Sakura and only Sakura.
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And there is Karin. I dont have her, I like her. She is a great charact with great backstory if you don't agree fight me.
But Karin is very disrespectuful at the begning. Maybe that is why there was so much hate.
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Sasuke pushes Karin away in a more respectful way than she behaves with him. He is not interested in that. Karin is pretty; anyone would want to be with her, but Sasuke did not because does not have feelings for her, plus she did not respect him. Even traveling with him for some time, she still did not respect his boundaries. Maybe that is why he has no warm feelings towards her. Feelings that would keep him from doing that infamous Danzo scene.
Karin did nothing to harm Sasuke, yet he harmed her because she wasn't important to him. So there were no feelings to hold him back, even a little. The once-manipulated Sasuke, this time by Obito, had no problem getting rid of her.
Yes, he was wrong. Terribly wrong, because she had helped him so many times. But the reason was that she wanted him carnally. And this does not flowrish in Sasuke.
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Sakura and Sasuke are on a whole other level. Sasuke was fed up with Naruto and Kakashi because, even though Sakura also wanted him in the village, her methods to pursue him were different on his eyes. Sakura had hugged him, Sakura had begged him to stay. He had a completely different vision of her.
He attacked Naruto first.
But Sakura attacked him first, so he reacted.
I really think "losing Sakura" made him even madder. He dived even deeper into his sadness. She was that one thing he was sure about. Honestly, I think his offer was to push her away because hurting her would hurt him.
Sasuke put those feelings inside once more. But seeing her again at the war, he answers only to her. The more he tries to push her away, the stronger those feelings come. And he is always watching her. He smiles when she destroys the ground, she shakes when she calls him.
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And he claims, "I have no reason to be loved by her or to love her," even if that was not what Kakashi said or asked. He said Sakura wanted to help him. Honestly, he brought up the romance card. The moments their eyes clicked, when he came to save her and succeeded, the way he once felt powerless to do as a child. So he puts her to sleep because her words would stop him.
Maybe he could take Naruto in a fight, but he could not handle Sakura's cry one more time.
Because he thinks he does not deserve her. He leaves and travels. Again, he could have had anyone at this time once more. Now a man with crimes pardoned, a respected man. Only when he was complete did he come back.
People talk about Sakura's constant "afterglow" when Sasuke is in the village. They comment that they have pillow talks, the intimacy he craves, and a person to go and call home.
Sasuke never loved another because he had already accepted Sakura's feelings at age 12. Sasuke never wanted another physically because he had wished for only one person. His desires are connected to his emotions.
Sasuke says that no matter how far they are, or how long they haven't seen each other, his feelings for Sakura will never change.
And neither have hers.
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Ending with this frame because it shows what I think is the start of his feelings. Look at how beautiful she is; this is Sasuke's vision. I think Sakura is very pretty. But here, she is much prettier than normal.
He sees her as more beautiful than we do.
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anxious-witch · 3 months
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Part two of this analysis aka Edwin, Charles and asexuality and why I personally like hcing Charles under the ace umbrella rather than Edwin.
Previous part was about why I don't see Edwin as ace and this one is about why I can see Charles as being on ace/ace spectrum.
So, you might be thinking, what the hell is he talking about? Charles clearly flirts with Crystal from the start and is attracted to her!
And to that, I say, yes....and no. He flirts with her from the start, absolutely! I'd even say he likes her immediately and think she is pretty. But given we aren't in his head, we can't really know exactly what he thinks. His reaction certainly isn't as extreme as the one Edwin has to the Cat King, which clearly showed instant sexual attraction.
So, the way I see it, I think he likes Crystal and very quickly develops a crush on her. But those are romantic feelings, not sexual ones. And we all know how intense Charles' feelings are, especially when it comes to devoting himself to someone.
"He literally agrees about being a nice addition to her body count! And he seems to know ghosts and human can have sex!" Yeah. Which is why A) I hc him as demisexual aka only feeling sexual attraction when he already has feelings for someone and B) as an ace person myself, believe me when I say that researching sex as a concept by an ace person is not uncommon. It's interesting part of human experience, whenever you wish that for yourself or not.
But I digress. Back to my point and that is, when does Charles seem to kiss (and if you believe they slept together after that one scene)? When one or both of them are in need of comfort.
We know Charles is physically affectionate person in general, so while I understand the whole thing was muddled with him and Crystal, I do find it odd he never kissed her due to being excited, or relieved. It would be so very in character for him and yet??? We see them kiss, if I remember correctly, after Charles has his breakdown over not being able to stop anything or after the Devlin's house? I mixed up those two in my head but regardless-it's a form of comfort. You know how a lot of ace people who like sex describe why they like it? Because it makes them feel closer to their partner, because yes, the sex itself is enjoyable, but there is no need for it, no attraction to spur it on. But when you care about the person, you want to make them feel good and you want to feel closer to them.
So for Charles, who constantly craves positive validation, especially through touch? I feel like he'd be either sex positive ace or as I mentioned earlier, demisexual. He doesn't seem spurred by it by attraction.
Hell, after Crystal has a nightmare, what is his first instinct? To kiss her. Because he feels helpless with how to help her other than get her closer to him! But , no offense to Crystal, I find it a bit difficult to believe Charles looked at her in that moment, traumatized by the nightmare and thought "god you look so hot right now I have to kiss you".
And again, we see this repeated when Crystal is about to leave for London and she kisses him goodbye. They never kiss as a consequence of something happy. Which yes, can definitely be contributed to the general narrative of that relationship likely being there as more of a comfort but still.
When we talk about headcanon sphere, because I don't pretend like the writers planned on making Charles ace coded, I think it would make sense.
Also why he doesn't clock Edwin's meeting with the Cat King for what they are! He is suspicious, we could even say he is jealous, but up until Edwin doesn't bring up his feelings for Monty, Charles doesn't connect the two. Which I find odd. Charles doesn't seem surprised that Edwin is gay, so how did he not make a connection about the Cat King until that moment?
Unless he usually connects sex with romantic feelings! Of course, he knows other people sometimes don't but surely not Edwin? Surely Edwin would think like Charles and want to love someone before feeling any sort of attraction? Right? Right??
Wrong. You sir, give strong demi vibes.
No but in all seriousness, I feel like Charles being demi/ace doesn't have a lot of uncomfortable implications that Edwin does? And it doesn't play into the stereotypes either. Why not hc someone flirty and easygoing as ace for a change?
Not to mention that he can be flippant around sex because that's what's expected. We know Charles is not above putting up a front if it makes it easier for everyone around him. To feel accepted.
So he likes a girl. She is pretty and powerful and she alive. Of course he is attracted to her. It's natural. That's how attraction is meant to feel like. Right?
And especially with demi hc, I feel like that fits very well bc he is used to having to "convince" himself before he feels the attraction.
Another cool point I could see being raised is how, he thinks Edwin isn't interested in anyone for the longest time, so Charles in turn, fully turns out any possible romantic feelings for him. And in turn then, he never think he can be attracted to Edwin because he could be like oh! No romantic feelings? No attraction either. Cool!
But yeah. Again, just hcs in general, but if we are talking about making someone ace, I feel like Charles is a more logical than Edwin, personally
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howlsofbloodhounds · 5 days
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So glad someone else sees the weirdness of people being gross about fem body nightmare it always comes off as somewhat fetishy too bc they reduce him to just being hot
Yes! Absolutely. Seeing the weirdness not only in how nightmare is treated, but also how killer is treated! If he supposedly respects his boss, then why the hell is he drooling over him and treating him vastly different just because nightmare has tits now?
I also see this a lot with female killer or feminine killer—female killer always has huge breasts and small waist and it hardly seems like killer. Even when it’s just normal killer wanting to dress or express himself more feminine, it makes me uncomfortable when it’s done in an overly sexual manner for no reasons?
And of course nightmare and killer are adults, so there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being attracted to them or writing/drawing them in adult situations with eachother or others, it’s just that it feels very fetishized and hyper sexualized to have characters drooling over nightmare when hes just existing and also has breasts.
Even with killer as he is now, vastly hypersexualized as a character for not even any real reason either. He only flirted like once or twice in his canon drawings, clearly as a joke even and mostly because people asked rahafwabas to draw those things with killer, and yet it somehow became his entire character. Not to mention how people took “flirty” and “romantic” and immediately went “lustful creepy pervert.”
To the point where people just cant seem to let these aspects of killer’s character be just that; aspects, something interesting and fun, but not his whole entire character.
Don’t yall find it interesting to explore how a character who views themselves as emotionless and is dissociated from themselves and their actions most of the time navigates things like physical intimacy?
Especially when this character has very likely not felt any kind or comforting touch that wasn’t just a way to keep him further manipulated and controlled? How his experiences with abuse and torture and control have become so normalized it taints every aspect of his life, from the ideas of consent to the idea of boundaries.
Can he even feel much sensation that is too gentle, would it send him reeling in discomfort and disgust at first. would he hate how his body reacts even if it’s something that feels good—wouldn’t he feel viscerally unsettled if someone could provoke bodily reactions like flushing cheeks or a beating “soul beat” or even genuine arousal from him.
wouldn’t he think with contempt if his body reacts positively or negatively to receiving comfort. wouldnt he try to find a way to maintain control and detachment because too much stimulation or stress or feeling threatened or trapped or controlled or afraid for his safety and life could trigger higher stages and he lashes out and literally could kill his partner(s) because his mind mistakes the situation for something else. wouldn’t he need a level of either trust or control to willingly engage in something that feels deeply threatening.
Anyway i got off topic, but you’re absolutely correct. I love female or feminine Sanses, especially with the apple twins, and i don’t think there should be any need to hyper sexualize and fetishize the female body. (especially if these feminine/fem presenting or female bodies also happen to be trans/queer bodies; such as with transfem dream.)
like just let nightmare exists as nightmare, regardless of if he happens to have breasts or not—and don’t have his subordinates drooling all over him and behaving super strange just cause nightmares got boobs now.
(and I also don’t wanna see any situation where nightmare who usually doesn’t have boobs has boobs one day and the gang make a big deal about it, since nightmare is a shapeshifter and all. he could realistically just decide he wants boobs one day and the gang could just go “interesting. Anyway..” and hardly even that.
unless it’s to like, ask for today’s pronouns or something, i don’t see no need to comment on the breasts unless in the context of, nightmare is engaging in intimacy with their partner(s) or something. a context where it would make sense. Anyway just be normal about female/fem killer and nightmare please.)
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gffa · 1 year
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Hey, hi, cool, so I just thought, for no reason that I can think of at this particular time, you all might want to fall back into the Kalluzeb rabbit hole with me, especially since they didn't get onscreen resolution for the desperate need I had for them to kiss, so fic is here to help solve that for us. Also feelings. So many, many feelings. And delicious mutual pining and hilarity of two idiots who clearly want to bang each other, with the knowledge that Zeb eventually will totally get his man (Steve Blum said so!!! just like that!!!) which makes it fun to watch two dumbasses circle each other around. Or finally give in because there's definitely a lot of giving in. Anyway, yes, have some STAR WARS REBELS fic, centered on Kallus and Zeb just because I thought it would be a fun side trip today. No reason! Just seemed like the thing to do, is all! STAR WARS REBELS KALLUZEB FIC RECS: ✦ A Lasat Walks into a Bar by Holderisms, zeb/kallus, the mandalorian spoilers, 1.3k    After speaking with Teva, Zeb gets a drink. Even when someone is waiting on him. ✦ Eudaemonia by Bur, zeb/kallus, 7.9k    Alexsandr never expected to find peace more terrifying than war. ✦ Hoth is (Not) for Lovers by bar2d2s, zeb/kallus, 1.2k    Hoth is cold and Kallus is miserable. Set only just before Empire Strikes Back. ✦ Falling in Love with the Right Now (Poster Boy) by akaparalian, (pre-)zeb/kallus & ghost crew, 1.6k    Somewhere out there in the galaxy, there's a rebel propaganda artist who deserves a raise. ✦ It Works on You by Kereea, zeb/kallus, 3.2k    Humans and lasats can have very different ideas about what's attractive. Zeb and Kallus still tend to line up by each other's standards. ✦ Warmth by icarus_chained, zeb/kallus, 1.6k    Zeb and Kallus, in the aftermath of Zero Hour. Someone needs to put Kallus back together, or near as can be managed. ✦ Mating Rituals by Velvedere, zeb/kallus & sabine & cast, 4.7k    Zeb has been acting weird lately. Kallus vents to Sabine about it. ✦ in your warmth I forget how cold it can be by dykeannebonny, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 3.6k    "Are you going to kiss me, Garazeb Orrelios?" Alex's lips were parted; he inhaled deeply through his mouth. "I'm thinkin' about it," Zeb said quietly. ✦ What We Want by TheTrashMan (Viraaja), Viraaja, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 12k    Kallus and Zeb realize what it is they want from each other: sex, obviously. ✦ Falling in Love with the Right Now (Poster Boy) by akaparalian, zeb/kallus & phoenix crew, 1.6k    Somewhere out there in the galaxy, there's a rebel propaganda artist who deserves a raise. ✦ The Care and Keeping of Ex-Imperials Who Need Coffee, a Nap, and a Hug in That Order by akaparalian, kallus & phoenix crew (& some zeb/kallus), 8.8k    Five Ghost crew members who helped Alexsandr Kallus, and one who he helped in return. ✦ In the Middle of the Night by bar2d2s, hera & kallus (background kanan/hera & zeb/kallus), 1.8k    When one member of your self-made family is pregnant, you’re all pregnant. ✦ Celestial Navigation by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 1.7k    Kallus doesn't understand why Zeb's not sad. ✦ Untitled Rebels Fic by Mirror and Image, zeb/kallus & cast, 11.6k    Kallus, on Yavin IV, sees a Lasat that isn't Zeb. Things go as expected. ✦ When we have peace by apocrypha73, zeb/kallus, 2.9k    After the Battle of Endor, Kallus and Zeb enjoy the celebration. ✦ The Last Parking Spot on Lovers' Lane by ambiguously, zeb/kallus & hera & cast, 3.7k    All Zeb wants is to find a nice quiet spot to make out. This is not as easy as it should be. ✦ Speculation by Nana, zeb/kallus & ap-5, 1k    "AP-5," Kallus said, "are you under the impression that Captain Orrelios and I are involved, romantically?" "It is common knowledge at the base, sir. You don't have to deny it just because I am a droid." ✦ roisters by spookykingdomstarlight, zeb/kallus, 1.8k    For once, he is willing to put aside his thoughts and act. “Garazeb,” he says, because he is the only one who calls Zeb by his full name and because he’s noticed the way Zeb’s fur ripples in pleasure after he says it and somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that means something. “A word?” ✦ in this world by xpityx, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 2.1k    It had been eight months. Eight months since he'd last seen Alex in person. He'd still been Kallus then, had still been convinced that the Ghost crew were taking him to his executioners. ✦ The Sea Has Ten Thousand Names by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 2.6k    Living on a new planet is hard when you don't know the language. ✦ Date Night by ambiguously, zeb/kallus & kanan/hera & jacen, 1.7k    Asking your not-boyfriend out on a date is even harder when he's stuck babysitting for his friends. ✦ Heard It in a Love Song (Can't Be Wrong) by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 2.7k    Kallus can't quite figure out what makes Zeb tick, but he keeps trying. ✦ a more than mutually beneficial agreement by wrennette, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 3.1k    It takes a while, getting ex-Agent Kallus to open up. ✦ Another Mission, Another Mess by icarus_chained, zeb/kallus & kanan/hera & ghost crew, 6.5k    Kallus has been slowly intergrating into the crew when the Ghost is assigned to a normal supply run. The mission goes south, as it usually does, Zeb takes a hit, Kallus doesn't take it well, and the rest of the crew try to pick of the pieces. Another mission, another mess. Just another day on the Ghost. ✦ Rebel Teamwork by sempaiko, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 4.9k    How many Rebels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ✦ Unscheduled Contact by Kala_Sathinee, zeb/kallus & cast, NSFW, 3.4    During a rescue mission, Zeb gets stranded aboard the Chimaera when it jumps to hyperspace. He and Kallus make the most of the time. ✦ just another damn of the damns you're not giving by shades, zeb/kallus & cast, NSFW, 6.8k    The thing is, Zeb’s handsy. ✦ taste of pleasure by wrennette, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 1.2k    The one where Zeb follows through on his idea of fucking Sasha full of come and then eating him out until he cries ✦ Scent Blind by Rachello344, zeb/kallus & cast, NSFW, 4.4k    Alexsandr has been avoiding Zeb since he joined the Rebellion in full, convinced that prolonged contact with the Lasat will prove his undoing. As long as Zeb smells so unfathomably good, he’ll never be able to speak with him casually, especially now that there are no other divides between them. If only Zeb had gotten the memo that Alexsandr was doing this for both their sakes. Unfortunately, it seems Zeb can’t, or won’t, take a hint. ✦ In Your Orbit by LoveCrumb, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 3.2k    After wanting to touch Zeb for so long, Alex reaches up and runs his hands down Zeb’s wide chest. The fur there, like much of his body, is short and thick; it feels velvety as Alex strokes downward, and more textured and coarse on the upstroke. ✦ We Belong Way Down Below by Mithrigil, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 1.6k    Zeb runs into Kallus on a routine mission. He doesn't know how that resulted in both of them getting off, but he's not complaining. ✦ ibac jaon by wrennette, zeb/kallus, nsfw, 3.9k    Fulcrum had given up on being found. ✦ Cogs by ambiguously, zeb/kallus, 1.1k    "You brought him home. That makes him yours." ✦ ever so patiently by Anonymous, zeb/kallus, NSFW, 21.2k    Lasat have very peculiar mating habits. No one thought to tell Kallus about that. or: Kallus is the last one to find out he’s being courted.
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