#and with my therapist saying that kind of shit I was like dude actually come on. like why would you say that?

[voiceshearingyouloud]

Actually fuck my therapist for saying ‘but is your delusion actually true though?’ because of all the unhelpful things to ask someone who’s grip on reality is already tenuous…

[cosmerelists]

Pros and Cons of Stormlight Characters in the Middle Seat Next to You on a Budget Airline.

As requested by anon. :)

1. Kaladin

Cons: His legs are so long. His hair is so luxurious. His shoulders are so broad. This large, beautiful man is not trying to be in your space, but the budget airline seat cannot contain him. Pros: You started what you thought was an idle conversation, but by the end of your flight, he had diagnosed your chronic pain and become your therapist??

2. Shallan

Pros: Well, she's more of a regular-sized human and she's friendly but quiet. She seems to just want to sketch the whole flight, so no complaints! Cons: Why does she keep staring directly at a space across the plane and sketching the creepiest symbol-headed creatures you've ever seen with her eyes vaguely glazed over like she doesn't even know she's doing it holy shit is this a Twilight Zone situation where there are invisible gremlin monsters on this plane that only she can see and is it your imagination or do you hear humming from somewhere

3. Adolin

Cons: Listen, this is a budget airline, and this guy seems to think it's a fancy spa?? He's got the slippers, the posh eye mask, the luxurious travel pillow, some really nice face creams, and he seems to be video chatting with a girl even though the internet on the plane doesn't even work. Frankly, you're jealous and grouchy about it. Pros: Okay, he actually seems really sweet and he gave you some of his way-too-nice-for-an-airplane snacks. You take it all back; this guy is awesome.

4. Szeth

Pros: He is so still. So quiet. Almost folded in on himself. Barely...breathing? Honestly, you keep forgetting the middle seat is occupied, and how rare is that! Cons: You just...you think you'd feel better if he just blinked. Just once. Please.

5. Lift

Cons: You had to sigh just a little when a little kid plopped down next to you. Also, she goes to the bathroom every five minutes, and comes back with food every time. You think she might be robbing people. Pros: She complimented your butt quite sincerely. You've always been kinda self-conscious about your butt! But apparently yours is the "second best she's ever seen." Feels nice.

6. Jasnah

Pros: Like, is it possible for someone to just be really good at flying? She came in, expertly stowed her luggage, sat down elegantly, did her seatbelt, used a wipe to clean up the tray table and surrounding area, and immediately starting reading some thick tome. Do you have a crush on her? You might have a crush on her. Cons: She glanced at the book you're reading, and you know she judged you for it.

7. Wit

Cons: Does this guy EVER stop talking? Pros: Okay, actually, you found him kind of annoying at first, but that story he told you about the temple and the duck might have healed years of trauma? Did you just realize that you don't have to forgive your mom and that's okay?

8. Renarin

Pros: He sat down and you were like, "Okay. Cute nerd. I dig it." Cons: You just wish he wouldn't scrawl foreboding-seeming numerals on the back of the airline chair in front of him. Is it counting down to...just before the plane lands? What does it mean???

9. Amarem

Cons: He came in and was IMMEDIATELY like, "I am taller than you and so I should have your seat." And then he just...waited? Like he thought you'd just comply??? Pros: He seems intent on pretending that never happened. Fine by you. That guy seems like an asshole.

10. Zahel

Pros: He falls asleep, like, immediately and doesn't stir for the entire flight. Cons: He's just kinda stinky.

11. Dalinar

Cons: He sits down and, unprompted, says something like, "In my youth I would always battle to occupy every armrest but now, after reading The Way of Planes, I have realized that it is the journey, not the armrests, that matter, so you can have them" and then you're like, "Dude, the person in the middle seat gets the armrests that's just common courtesy" and then he looks at you and you look at him and it's vaguely awkward the whole flight and nobody uses the armrests. Pros: Actually, after a while you do take the armrest and the tension goes down a lot.

12. Taravangian

Pros: He just kinda seems like a nice old man, you know? Kinda confused about stuff, but harmless enough. Cons: He falls asleep partway through and droops his head onto your shoulder and drools a bit and you know you sound ridiculous but it feels somehow calculated. Intentional. Evil.

13. Sebarial

Cons: The very second beverage service starts he's all, "Bring me a BOTTLE of wine" and you're like, "Oh no. It's one of those dudes who gets way too drunk on planes!" Pros: You know? This guy actually seems pretty jolly and chill. You catch yourself thinking, "I wish I could pretend he was my uncle." You're not sure where that came from.

14. Rock

Pros: He scoffs at the provided airline snacks and gets out this thermos and gives you the best damn soup you've ever had in your life. Cons: He's just a large, warm man. Very large. Very warm. Not his fault, of course, but now YOU are very warm.

15. Elhokar

Cons: Every time there is plane turbulence, he mutters something about how it's the assassins coming to finish the job. Poor dude must be really scared of flying. Pros: You feel a warm, parental feeling growing in you as you look at this sad, scared man. Maybe your mom was right. Maybe you WOULD be good with kids.

16. Eshonai

Pros: This lady is, just, SO excited to be traveling that it can't help but make YOU excited to travel. Like, you always thought plane travel sucked, especially budget airline travel, be she is so delighted by everything that you find yourself thinking, "You know, it IS pretty amazing that we're soaring through the sky right now traveling to a new land." Cons: Cons? No cons. You wish you could ALWAYS see flying through this woman's eyes.

[bomberqueen17]

what is up froods

lol i keep forgetting to like. actually write updates in my personal journal. i'm using this tumblr too much like a tumblr.

i went down a rabbit hole the other night in that i just opened my own archives and went back to 2013 and then realized i started this in 2011. i didn't say a lot, back then i definitely was still using my LJ for Big Personal Updates and Tumblr was exclusively for snappy shitposts, and then I abandoned the LJ and only blogged in snappy shitposts for a while, and I did some vagueblogging that I genuinely have no idea what it was about, and that's fun.

But there's some. Boy there's some real fossils in there. God everything stays the same but everything happens so much.

I know I've backed up this blog but IDK how much you can make it make sense, offline. Anyway. That's how it goes. I'm not in any kind of existential panic about the site I'm just reacting to the zeigeist here, it made me think of old times.

I go back to the farm in a couple of weeks-- just for a couple of weeks, but the Season is Starting. My physical therapist keeps giving me more exercises. She's right, my core strength is wretched, but when I said I'd tried to do crunches now and then, tried to stay a tiny bit fit but-- she was like omg no you can't do crunches, with that hip cartilage as it is, so I felt a little better. So she's teaching me what I *can* do, and the important thing is that she's like you cannot do this more than every other day or three times a week, you cannot rush this kind of thing, and it's wonderful advice contrary to all the other advice I've ever had in my life which was like every moment you're not doing more work you're being a lazy shit. So, that's nice. I'll cut because nothing else here is going to be interesting.

I'm not the youngest person at physical therapy but there's a lot of old people there. I haven't been masking, I've been being lazy and just using xylitol nose spray before I go, and it's been fine, but I know that's just luck. (I see no one but Dude, who sees almost no one but me, so the consequences of fucking up would be minor.) with a trip to the farm coming up, I'm going to go back to masking, at least in the lead-up to the trip-- because last time I had COVID I had almost no symptoms, and nowadays apparently the rapid tests aren't super useful. The way I'm coping is, I know, a logical fallacy-- since COVID wasn't bad the one time I had it, I'm just telling myself I'm resistant naturally and it won't hurt me, and I know this is not the truth at all but it helps me cope-- but I cannot stand the thought of spreading it to someone who would be more hurt by it, so I have convinced myself not to fear catching it but to fear spreading it. I figure it's effectively the same and lets me not just be fucking terrified all the time.

I also discovered that a former employee of the farm who's out here going to college is interested in carpooling, and we've already got a tentative date for him to ride back with me on my way back from the farm at the end of March, and this has lightened my spirits a great deal. It's such a long drive and it feels like such a waste of gas, and he does have a car but it's not actually that safe to drive on the Thruway. (He swears up and down it's perfectly safe but just not at sustained speeds over 60. I was like omg kid do NOT, I will drive, my car is brand fkn new. He's taking the train home and will ride back with me.)

Let's see. Oh I don't think I've kept up with posting about the kitchen painting. It's down to the last tiny fiddly details, and what I've got to do is do a half-stencil in the corner above the door, and I did one half yesterday and will finish the rest today. I had to custom cut out a copy of part of the stencil to make it work, and it's sort of janky and I am going to have to hand-paint it with a lot of masking tape, but it's such a small area that like, why not, I can be that fussy. It's fine.

Once I finish that, which if I do part in the morning and part in the afternoon I can do today, then I can FINALLY CLEAN UP AND PUT AWAY all the painting detritus. I can't tell you how excited I am to do that.

I've also been doing fabric dyeing, finally. I collected several of the muslin garments I'd finished and meant to do something with, and got out my dyes. I did a batch of ice dye solely because I forgot which ones I'd intended to use for that; now I have a pair of slightly ill-fitting homemade leggings that look like a clown threw up on them, and a cheerful sweatshirt to match. i then used the runoff to dye the cream-colored canvas work smock-- I sort of tie-dyed it because I pasted up a little bit of two of the component colors and poured that on a couple areas that I then rubberbanded, because I wanted tie-dye but did not want any white areas left. So it's a blue/purple/red smock now, and the rainbow stitching I constructed it with was polyester so it's still rainbow, huzzah. Subtle and understated and also I can smear it with filth and maybe it will still look intentional.

[image description: a canvas work smock with big pockets, hanging to dry, mostly a mucky dark purple but with some brighter splotches of red and dark blue, and some bits of paler purple.]

[image description: assorted garments draped over drying racks in a sunporch, in blotchy shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, all kind of run together but not murky.]

And then I did another batch of ice dye, this time with the dyes I had bought that are supposed to work well for this because they split. That dress is still in the wash so I don't have pictures of how it turned out, but mostly it just looks splotchy green. LOL oh well. The point was, I made all these test garments in undyed fabric, but I don't have a lifestyle where I can wear a white dress, so now I have some non-white dresses I don't have to be precious about. Some of them I should now probably hem and like actually finish..........

I have one dress and one shirt left, and a pair of light-wash jeans I don't like wearing, and I'm thinking about trying like. Ombre or something. We'll see if I get around to that.

My sewing area is still a fuckin disaster and I don't want to think about it. But I'm cutting out a vest from scrap denim, I want a quilted abrasion-resistant washable work vest for farm work next week and I gotta get a move on. All I need now is to cut out the batting and get to it. So hopefully today.

I took photos, I might try writing up how-tos on the dyeing and on the repurposed denim stuff, but I also might not. If I was doing this again I would probably not bother with the ice, for the rainbow one. We'll see once the properly ice dyed dress comes out of this wash, I can hear the washer spinning but I'm trapped under Chita at the moment.

I missed this week's fic update because I'm progressing so slowly on both current active WIPs. I have a bunch written ahead in both, but each one has the back half of the current chapter just held up waiting for me to write them; I've overcome the structural decisions that delayed me, but I have to just sit and write them. And both of them are complicated scenes I've been waiting to write a long time, so I'm looking forward to writing them, and so like, paradoxically, can't make myself do it. Because once I've done it I'll have done it, see... anyway. Silly but there it is. I'll get through it once I decide I deserve that treat. I know! I know.

[raytorosaurus]

i've been so curious about this 'unofficial therapist' that thursday had???? which member is he? how did they find him?? could he always play an instrument or did they ask him to learn so they could keep him around? did he actually help that much? how did it change thursday's writing? i don't expect you to have the answer to all of these things but you seem to know a lot about them and if nothing else i need to know who their therapist is and what 'unofficial' means in this case if you can help at all!

oh lol haha unofficial in the very literal sense so my guy andrew everding of the "no one ever expects it" chest hair fame from my chemical romance in the studio 2002 (@3:10) is like...the y/n of thursday.

he's just a nice dude who hangs around and everyone likes, good friend of the guys in thursday, and then his house burns down and he has nowhere to stay so thursday were like yo just come tour with us and he did. because he's also a very talented (multi?-)instrumentalist and, as it turns out, a great composer too. also at some stage he lived with geoff's mom? it is unclear if this is before or after the fire and/or joining thursday as a touring member. he also photographed their first west coast tour in 2002?

so like anyway by 2003 he's playing keys for the watt tour which is like.....I'd say the darkest point of thursday's history but that would be a fucking lie lol. let's say the darkest point of thursday's history so far. the guys are super stressed, super overworked, super depressed, and under loads of pressure from their label who's saying they're underperforming the expectations they had for them. geoff in particular is copping a lottt of criticism for his singing which he really internalised, and basically everyone in the band is miserable. they were also. not fucking talking to each other. like at all. they would just all constantly bitch about each other behind everyone's back and never say shit to their face. andrew, as a touring member but not official member, and as a Nice Guy, ends up becoming like...the intermediary to whom everyone in the band went to vent. so he's like trying to fix their shit and be positive and he puts his foot down and is like guys you NEED to learn to COMMUNICATE. (spoilers they didn't) but anyway the band after a particularly nasty and conflict-laden tour of australia in 2004 are like fuck this we're breaking up! but then as soon as they agreed to breaking up they were like wait. so much of the pressure is gone now. actually we're good we just need a break :) but media has kind of already picked up on the story of them breakup up so it was all dreadfully will they/won't they. this is also right as three cheers is blowing the fuck up btw 😭😭 #we'retwosidesofthesamecoin #he'smyvillain.

oh shit and then they go on warped 04 as what would have been kinda their last thing but they're like hey look at this we're sorta starting to work on our problems! oh and then at the vegas date 24yo geoff gets shotgun married to a woman he'd been dating for two years with mcr, tbs, and the bouncing souls as the wedding party 😭😭😭😭😭.

ANYWAY. they end up not breaking up but take a break from touring and then all move in together for a while? i think bc they were a little scattered at that point and geoff might have been living in sydney (his wife was australian) at the time idk so when he came over to do thursday shit they just like lived together apparently. and they write city by the light divided (so titled bc the band, naturally, was totally divided on how they wanted the album to sound lol). anyway the main difference now is this time round they've invited andrew to join as an official member!! :DDD

...unfortunately for andrew, this is also the time thursday stops being even slightly commercially viable lol so he's like technically im earning less money now than i had been on a tour salary lolz. anyway he becomes a big part of the writing process, especially for that album and no devolucion, the instrumentals if which were apparently driven pretty heavily by him!

then in 2008 onwards thursday were all broke as fuck and needed to get day jobs to pay rent. most of them went into like...food service or painting houses, but tucker drummed for mcr for a bit and andrew worked as.....a guitar tech? for patd????? (also after the break up, tucker was in boy band the wanted for a while as their touring drummer. he loved it lol <3)

anyway tragically, andrew hasn't appeared at any of the reunion shows 😔. he's private so no details but he was dealing with some health issues towards the end of thursday that contributed to the band deciding to break up and has a baby and shit now. but he did continue touring as a musician a bit, like with neil finn in 2014!!!!!! playing some wacky fancy midi/synth electronic instrument iirc? epic collision of my childhood fave and new-adulthood fave.

anyway lol this is all typed out in bed on my phone off the top of my head so there might be some chronology errors in there, but a lot of this is from their documentary, kill the house lights! it's a comedy. dark comedy.

#andrewnation <3

[billthedrake]

SOULMATES

I know you're never supposed to believe a married man when he says he'll leave his wife for you. But Tim Rogers was living with me when he said it. Actually living with me, day in, day out.

It wasn't like that at first. I'd met Tim at the exurban gym we both went to. The kind of place with lots of weekend dabblers in the weight room. Tim and I stuck out as the guys serious about lifting without being outright meatheads. We became workout buddies and hit it off.

Half the time we'd lift, and Tim would come over to my place after. We'd talk. When it wasn't sports or work shit, the guy would unload his problems, and I'd listen. Tim actually could have used a real therapist, but he didn't have the money for that shit, and even if he did he would have been too proud to go.

So I heard about his shitty marriage, and I'd suck his cock. Then he'd suck mine.

I wasn't closeted, but I wasn't actually out and proud either. That worked for the ex-baseball player, who felt more comfortable coming over. More comfortable kissing and making out. He asked me to take his cherry, so I did. Tim fucking loved that. The next night he made an excuse to come over and get fucked again.

I had a great body. Being a single, gym-obsessed gay dude will do that for you. Tall and well-proportioned. But I couldn't believe I was having sex with Tim on a regular basis. He worked construction jobs, and that kind of manual labor had a way of aging you, quick. But Tim was 26 and goddamn beautiful. Blue eyes, dark brown hair, killer smile, dimples. Muscle on muscle that even the ex-jock padding didn't hide. Incredible ass that I'd bone up looking at.

He stayed over at my place whenever he and his wife had a fight. They were fighting more. We called them Doghouse nights, but the fourth was the last. Tim never went back to his wife.

I'm a red-blooded man, horny as any, I guess, but I was unprepared for Tim's amped up sex drive. I was ten years older than him, so teased me for being an old man. But I don't remember having a libido like his in my 20s. I blew him a couple times a day to take the edge off. And in the evening, every evening, I fucked him in my bed. Our bed, now.

My name is Mark, but Tim called me Cleve, after my middle name. Mostly to tease me, but the nickname stuck as a pet name. I called him Six Gun, or Gunner, since I'd once gotten him to cum six times in 24 hours.

The divorce came, finally. I found out Tim had been dragging his heels to avoid alimony. I told him not to worry about a thing. He had a place to live, and I wasn't gonna charge him any goddamn rent. We celebrated the day the papers were finalized.

The man got in shape. I mean he already had that incredible ex-jock muscle amped up from hard work and the gym. But he lost the beefy thickness and slimmed down. I didn't care, I loved it either way. But he seemed happier, more thrilled with his body and the way I pawed at him.

I don't even know why I didn't realize we were more than live-in fuck buddies, but I was watching Tim make his egg-white omelet one morning and it hit me hard. I was in love with the man. Deeply, tragically in love with him, body and soul.

I started crying.

"Cleve, what the fuck?" he asked. Thinking something was wrong.

"I love you, Gunner," I managed to say.

His concern grew to a smile. "I love you, too, doofus," he grinned as he mock punched my shoulder. "Damn you look like a wuss when you cry," he teased.

"Asshole," I shot back playfully. I knew this was Tim's defense mechanism, and it actually made me laugh.

I stood up and our bodies met as we kissed. Tim's omelet would have to wait. We couldn't get back to the bedroom quick enough. A BJ wasn't gonna cut it. I lubed up, put those strong legs on my shoulders, and entered Tim as we locked eyes.

"Love you, Mark," he hissed as I breached him. "So much."

"God, Tim," I grunted. "Gonna be hard to hold back."

I meant with my orgasm, but Tim took it a different way. "Don't. Fuck me, Cleve. Fuck me hard."

I did. Almost exploratory thrusts to see if he meant it. That ex-baseball jock did. Taking my hard shoves deep into his guts and looking up at me with a silent plea for more. So I fucked rougher. It was intense for him, but just fueled his orgasm as he jerked that thick tool. I pounded to fuck the cum out of him, then pounded to get off myself. It took seconds.

It was the closest thing to make up sex, because Tim and I never fought. He said he'd had a lifetime's worth of fights with his ex, and didn't want any more.

To the outside world we were roommates. If that was the kind of thing that bothered me, I would have moved from our town years ago.

Tim said he missed sex with women sometimes. "If you ever want to Gunner, you should," I told him. "I'm serious," I added when he looked at me skeptically.

He did, a few times. Each time he came back home, quiet. He never talked about it but the next time we fucked he'd ask me to go hard. Eventually he no longer went on Tinder and no longer hooked up with anyone else.

I got used to taking charge of things. Finances, household stuff, setting up retirement savings for Tim. So I was surprised when Tim booked a vacation for us.

"It's our fifth anniversary," he beamed as he showed off the place he'd booked. Not only a gay resort in Palm Springs, but one of those clothing optional places. "Figured we could use a little getaway."

"Anniversary of what?" I asked.

He shrugged. "My divorce papers. At least that's when I stopped pretending."

I didn't realize Tim ever pretended. Then I didn't realize he'd ever stopped.

The vacation was incredible. It was our first time having sex with others. Yeah, a part of me was nervous, but my boyfriend loved showing off his body and being the attention of hot guys. He loved looking at me with a giddy, kid like expression as some muscle dude blew him. His enthusiasm was contagious.

We went back home feeling like something had changed, in a good way.

As much as I craved routine, I had to admit it was a way Tim and I didn't deal with things. But now we mixed it up. He took on more of the household chores, and I tried to be the one to come up with the fun ideas for date night. Tim started going down on me before work, as a surprise. I asked him if he ever wanted to top me. He did, and while he confessed he preferred being on bottom, occasionally we'd switch, or even better, flip.

We were two men who weren't in touch with our emotions. We still didn't know how to talk. We got used to each other's nonverbal way of talking. That's why I wasn't surprised when Tim blurted out what had been bottled up. Out of the blue, while we watching some baseball game.

"We gotta move, Cleve," he said. Frustration in his voice, but I knew it wasn't frustration at me. It was frustration at his life, this town. "I've done the numbers. We'll probably take a hit on the house, but we can make it work."

He looked at me in a challenge. Ready for Mr. Routine to dig his heels in. Or at least ask why.

But I goddamn well knew why. "Yeah," I said.

We didn't fight, but we argued about where. Tim hated the cold, and I hated the heat. Being in construction, he'd find work more easily than me. Besides, I wasn't close to my family, but I hesitated to move too far away.

In the end, I let Tim pick. I was in love with him, now more than ever. And at 31, he was still the most goddamn beautiful man I'd ever known.

We got excited making plans, talking about our future. Then, right there on the living room couch, we made out and fucked.

[bleedingoptimism]

 AU that lives in my head

It’s ‘92, there’s no upside down and Steve is going to college to be a physical therapist.

He works nights at a bar with Robin, they live together and are very broke but very happy, he is set on not failing school and proving his parents wrong but he's a slow learner, the good grades don’t come easily and he is constantly distracted by pretty faces so he's adamant on not dating until he's done with school.

So he works nights, goes to school in the afternoons and hangs out with his kids in his free time.

Eddie owns a music shop in town that has a special room all decorated for D&D nights and that's how he meets the kids.

But the way that he meets Steve is because one night the bar is hosting a bachelorette party (Chrissy's) and the guy who was supposed to put on a show (nothing too scandalous because all of Chrissy's friends are prudes) cancels last minute and the bar owner tells Steve,

“I will pay you double if you go out there and sing”

And Steve says “No, no way” but the owner insists, 

"Triple if you grab that guitar, take off your clothes and sing two songs!" 

And Steve does obviously, because its easy money and they need it so he's thrown on the stage with only an acoustic guitar that (barely) covers his junk, ("Wait you didn't tell what song!?")

Eddie is sitting close to the bar because he can't stand Chrissy's other friends, making small talk with the barwoman and his mouth hits the ground when Steve appears on stage (Robin's mouth does too but Eddie doesn't see that) 

The guy looks shocked for a millisecond before smiling and saying “Ahoy ladies” and then immediately cringes (the barwoman behind him starts cackling) but the guy on stage takes a deep breath and then starts talking to the audience flirting up a storm and the audience is eating it up, he asks for songs requests and sits on a stool carefully, all the time making sure everything is covered.

He actually uses one hand to adjust himself behind the guitar before crossing his legs (making his audience shuffle trying to get a look) and Eddie thinks ‘big boy’.

When the man asks for requests Eddie yells Metallica just to be an asshole but he perks up and says "Oh, one of my kids has been listening to this song nonstop" before he starts tuning the guitar, Eddie thinks 'He has kids?? He looks so young.' 

So this guy, this David by Michellangelo starts playing ‘Nothing else matters’ and he's not really good with the guitar, mostly playing something resembling the right tune but these people would not know the difference, only Eddie does and he doesn't give a shit because his voice!

His voice is amazing, he’s doing an acoustic, soft version that sounds incredible and he has range, he sounds so good, and he sings looking at his audience with soft eyes that close on the chorus like he’s feeling every word and Eddie is kind of in love.

 When the song is done everyone claps, the audience is enraptured and Eddie claps really loud but not as loud as the barwoman behind him who keeps yelling "Yeah! go Steve!! that's my babyman!!!"

Steve, his name is Steve.

So Steve asks for one last song and Chrissy asks for Don Mclean and he lights up and says American Pie is one of his favorites and he sings with passion and makes everyone join him for the last part with encouraging smiles and winks and its great and Eddie write odes about the naked man with the guitar in his head all the while.

 Then he's off the stage and Eddie wants to ask the barwoman if he's a regular but before he can Steve shows up with the same black shirt she’s wearing and she screams, runs towards him and jumps, he catches her easily as she says, “That was fuckign amazing dude”

 “I’m never doing that again” 

“I saw your ass, it's great!” she says laughing excitedly and Eddie snorts, making them both look at him, Steve smiles bashfully and says to both of them, “Yeah, sorry about that” 

And Eddie, can't help himself says, “Don't be”

Steve turns red and Eddie suddenly feels hungry but he takes a step back, doesn't want to come on too strong and says “You were great, the singing I mean”

“Thanks?, thank you.”

“I’m serious, you have an amazing voice, and the guitar wasn't half bad”

And Steve laughs prettily and says, “My guitar was shit man” and Eddie is freaking out because this guy is fucking gorgeous.

They talk some more, he learns both Robin and Steve have been working at the bar for almost a year now and that that little stunt with the guitar was the first and last time is ever going to happen and Eddie thinks he’s really lucky if that's the case, he says that much just to watch Steve blush again and Robin laugh, he flirts just a little more and then goes back to Chrissy when he gets the hint that, although Steve looks interested he’s not getting his number tonight.

Robbin slaps Steve when Eddie leaves, “Why didn't you get his number?” and Steve reminds her about his rule of no pretty faces while he’s studying.

Next time Eddie sees Steve is when he’s hosting D&D at his shop. They are wrapping up and the kids are leaving but Mike’s car won’t start and he’s cursing and hitting his wheel. It’s raining heavily so Dustin, Lucas and Will are waiting inside and Dustin says, “I think we should call mom”

“No way he said we shouldn't bother him unless it's an emergency, he’s got a big test on monday!” Lucas says and Eddie thinks ‘mom?? He??? Test? What??’

But Mike comes back inside furious “Lets fucking call mom!” he says as if he knew exactly what they were talking about.

So Dustin asks Eddie to use his phone and while he’s calling, Eddie asks Will “Who’s mom?”

“Oh he’s just a friend of ours, but he’s older and really overprotective so we call him mom, it's an inside joke” he shrugs, and Lucas looks at Eddie very seriously and says,

“Not in front of him so please, if he shows up” and mimics closing his mouth with a zip.

Mike look super pissed about having to call this guy so Eddie asks him if he doesnt like him, and Mike, exasperated says “No, I fucking love him and if any of you say that to him I will kill you” and Eddie is really confused. 

Especially when, who actually shows up is Steve but like a completely different Steve from the guy he saw at the bar, that one had dark fitting jeans and an obscenely tight shirt and carefully styled hair and this one? This one is wearing a comfy yellow sweater and gray sweatpants and his hair is a mess and he’s wearing glasses and Eddie is having a breakdown because he doesnt know which one is hotter.

Steve runs to the shop because it's still pouring outside and once he’s in he doesn't even get to talk because Mike is on him instantly, “Steve! This fuckign car man! It keeps breaking and I did everything you told me, I take care of it! I’m so sick-!”

Steve calms him down first, talks him out of destroying the poor thing and says “We’ll look into it,ok?”

Then he finally greets the others, hugs them all and Dustin says “Sorry for bothering you when you were studding man” and Steve messes up with hair,

“Its ok I need it a break anyways” 

He’s so nice with the kids. It's so cute and Eddie thinks ‘oh, his kids, now I get it’ with a smile and that’s when Steve sees Eddie and goes red all over but Eddie saves face and introduces himself as if they don't know each other.

Steve is still blushing but he smiles and makes small talk for a while, then says “Well, let's look at the car”

Mike complains about the rain but Steve says “Sorry kid but I need to get back to studying, I'll check it out, you can stay inside” 

Mike sighs “No, no I told you, I want to learn lets go”

Steve hesitates before going out, whispers ‘I can't get sick tho’ and takes off his sweater and throws it to Will “Here, hold this for me BB?”

Will catches it ungracefully and blushes.

Eddie thinks it's a small miracle he’s wearing a white tank top underneath but as soon as they step outside they are both drenched and the top becomes a curse.

To distract himself he asks Will about the nickname and Will says it mean Baby Byers, “Steve is friends with my older brother so growing up Jonathan was Byers and I was Baby Byers”

Lucas whispers to Eddie that Will might like that nickname a little too much and Eddie chuckles and thinks he can't really blame him, they are all staring at them trying to find out what wrong with the car, well the kids are, Eddie is staring at Steve’s shoulders, his arms, his chest, for some reason even tho he’s already seen him practically naked, the tank top and the rain and the fact that he’s fixing a car is making it much worse.

He hears Lucas tell Dustin “He’s going to cause another accident man” and Dustin laughs so Eddie asks them,

“Another?” and Lucas tells him they once saw a girl run head first into an open car door on her bike for staring at Steve and they all start laughing.

Steve helps Mike fix the car and they high five and go back inside looking triumphant, the kids say it's getting late and while Steve dries with a towel Eddie just handed him and puts his sweater back on (small mercies) they say their goodbyes, after they leave Steve hangs around looking awkward, Eddie thinks he gets why so he tells him, “Listen man, I won't say anything about that show at the bar if that's what you are worried about”, and Steve laughs and says,

“What? No, they already know I work at a bar and Robin already told them about the impromptu concert, they laughed their asses off. I was actually going to ask you not to tell Mike I butchered his favorite song” 

Eddie laughs and tells him once again he didn’t, he was amazing. And if he sounds way too enamored when he says it, they both pretend not to notice.

[angelinthefire]

i can't decide between cute shit and timestamp

Re: this tag game

Thank you for asking!

"Cute shit"

So this is a pretty generic post-15x19, Cas-is-back-from-the-Empty fic. The setup is a lot like "Status quo ante bellum", in that Dean is still working towards fully expressing his feelings towards Cas, and Cas isn't sure where he stands. But Dean is being pretty clearly clingy, so Cas doesn't have the intense anxiety that he does in "Status quo". They go on the clown-mask-vampire hunt, Dean gets impaled, but Cas is there to heal him. But because Dean was so badly injured, it takes a lot out of Cas, and he passes out. Sam and Dean take Cas back to the motel and get him a room, and Dean stays with him overnight. The excerpt picks up the next morning. It's mostly just dialogue.

Cas wakes up first. Frozen, kind of terrified. 

Dean is snuggled into him by now. 

Dean wakes up. Jerks away in shock but recovers quickly.

Cas looks at him nervously.

Dean smiles bashfully, "Hope I didn’t wake you up?"

C: "No you didn’t"

D: "Good. How’re you doing? Anything screwed up?"

C: "No, I’m better."

D: Sighs, relieved. "I was scared."

C: Raises his eyebrows. "You were scared for me?"

D: "‘Course."

C: "Dean, you could’ve died." 

D: "Yeah that scared me too."

C: "Yeah. Me too."

D: "But… if I died… you’d come see me, right? Sneak into my memory box, wake me up? And we could just… hang out on the holodeck?"

C: "It’s a poor substitute for life."

D: "But you’d do it?"

C: (softly) "Yeah."

D: "Good. Y’know, I think… I mean… I wanna spend forever with you."

Cas stares, entirely disarmed. 

Dean’s eyes fall to his lips. 

He leans in. Cas is very still, and closes his eyes. Dean kisses him very softly.

Cas’ eyes are still closed when he pulls away.

Cas opens his eyes. Looks unsettled.

So Dean kisses him again. This time something clicks with Cas and he starts to kiss him back.

2. Timestamp

This is the scene from "Forget your perfect offering" in chapter 4 where Claire goes off to talk to Dean in the kitchen. I wrote the dialogue when I wrote the chapter, so that I would have a clear idea of what was happening with Dean, even though I never intended to post it with the fic. I'm actually pretty sure that I posted it on tumblr at some point, but I can't find it now.

The setup is that Dean is trying to give Cas what he wants so that he'll stay. And Jody, Kaia and Claire come over for a family dinner. And Dean basically tells Claire not to screw it up with her attitude. But he apologizes later, and that's when this scene takes place. Under the cut.

Dean feels bad for telling Claire not to be a weirdo, and asks her to help him with dessert so they can talk in the kitchen.

Dean: Sorry for being, y’know…

Claire: An asshole?

D: Yeah. I guess this whole thing’s got me on-edge.

C: What whole thing?

D: Y’know. Being with Cas. It’s a mindfuck. I mean, you get it, right?

C: Get what?

D: You know…

Claire stares at him.

D: Suddenly being different from how you thought you were.

Claire keeps staring at him.

D: Oh, come on. Your dad was all into Jesus. He didn’t raise you to think being gay was normal. Don’t you ever get hung up on what he’d think if he saw you today?

C: (getting agitated) No, I don’t, because he’s dead. And I had an angel in me, so I know that none of that shit matters.

D: Yeah, but when you started being into girls, you’re saying you didn’t ever worry what other people would think?

C: What the hell, I’m not your therapist, Dean!

D: Yeah. Right. Sorry.

C: (softening, just a little) I get that you need someone to talk to about this crap. But did you think that maybe that someone should be your boyfriend?

D: Talk to Cas? The dude spent eternity as, like, a giant lightbulb or something. I don’t think he knows what it’s like for everyone he knows to suddenly see him as some… some kinda… ugh.

Dean cuts into the rice krispie squares. Claire regards him cooly. The way Dean said "some kinda" gets under her skin.

Claire leans over the counter, and says to Dean in a low, icy voice.

C: Faggot.

Dean freezes and stares at Claire like she just slapped him.

D: What?

C: That’s what you were gonna say, right? That's what you are now.

Dean looks at Claire like he’s about to cry.

C: And you can wear your plaid, and carry a gun and talk like Batman, but that won't change the fact that that's all you are to some people. They'll see you and Cas together and that'll be it, they'll never see you as anything but dirty and wrong and weak. And I dunno, maybe your dad would've been one of them. But you gotta decide whether or not you're going to let them control your life. You gotta decide whether all that bullshit is worth it.

Claire takes the knife from Dean and goes back to cutting the rice krispie squares.

D: (after a long beat) Yeah. Yeah, Cas is worth it.

C: (significant look) I don't mean Cas. I mean being yourself.

D: (some kind of subtexutal reminder that Dean still thinks he's not really in love with Cas) Heh. Yeah. Thanks Claire.

C: Whatever. Don't start thinking I'm your gay Yoda.

D: It’ll be hard. You give good advice. For a dyke.

C: (good natured) Pansy.

D: Queer.

C: Cocksucker.

D: Nah, that’s not till later tonight.

C: Ew!

D: What, you don’t wanna hear about my plans for Cas’ cock?

C: No! Shut up, Dean!

[arcplaysgames]

so i finished the second palace

look i had a bad depression day, i pretty much did nothing but drink matcha and eat pepitas and play this fucking game for the entire day. i don't recommend any of this.

lets try to sum up lmao

the school actually hires a therapist, which is suspiciously proactive of them lmao. i love the girl whose like "his voice is hot" as a person who is a connoisseur of Hot Voices, he's Fine. Like... Logan Cunningham he is not. But he's fine?

He is also the Councillor Arcana, which is one I have to level for the extra content, so I am suspicious of him too.

He is also not above bribery to get people to come say hi, so clearly he is a wise man. The trio here are supposed to go see him, along with everyone who's had direct dealings with Kamoshida. No one is hyped for this, but he seems nice, so.

of course you are, and of course he wants Reverie to help. Every time i see Reverie, i think of that Jeff Winger bit, "Why do so many people flock to me? Is it my height?"

I do enjoy snacks is the thing. Also it's fascinating to me that they apparently added a character into this game who is just here to be a shrink for these kids. How fucked up is this game gonna get, lmao.

The Councillor isn't a standard of RWS or Thoth or TdM. I know, shocking, right? Apparently it's a pull from a Spanish deck, so I'm looking at that card. it replaces the Magician, so... that's interesting. The Magician is a fairly good teacher, albeit kind of a hubristic show-off about it. The original card is under the sun and has the infinity symbol above the head and holds an Ankh and a wand. So they're wielding the metaphorical key to life but also a wand of power.

So... working as a teacher to help people gain control of their lives. Yanno, like a therapist would.

ROLLS MY DANG EYES AT MYSELF. Anyway.

On the way to school, some dude starts following Ann which freaks her out.

I DIDN'T KNOW THIS GAME HAD MATT MERCER. finally some good fucking food.

This guy is Yusuke and he's an artist and wants Ann to model for him in hopes it'll inspire his next work. His manner of speech is fun, very serious but Dramatique and kind of annoyed at people who don't buy into the drama. An aesthete!

Also his teacher drives by, so he's the next target obviously. Never trust the dude in the car who shows up right after your next party member. He's a super famous artist, Madarame.

Also Yusuke introduces himself them steps forward, knocking Ryuji out of the way. Lmao.

To be clear: Ryuji has never done anything wrong ever. My dislike of him is completely unfair. But also: lmao.

At Madarame's art exhibit, Ann happens to be taken by a specific painting. Yusuke reacts really oddly to her interest in it and tries to steer her towards another.

So the gist of this one is: Madarame is this ascetic artist gentleman type who is infamous for using a very wide range of techniques and styles in his work. Wow such talent! Except obviously he's stealing the work of his many students and claiming it as his own.

The Phantom Thieves peg that Yusuke either knows about this or is a victim of it himself, as Madarame's only current pupil, so Ann has to take the modeling gig to get closer to him and discover the truth.

BUT ITS A NUDE MODELING GIG. GASP.

This whole bit just made me kind of nod along. (Which might be the Depression Day to be clear.) Like, the game isn't excessively horny about Ann having to get nude for art, but also Ann is so not interested in doing this shit, compounded by yo her literal origin story in this game is having to perform being this sexual object for Kamoshida, so this whole diversion was.... not as bad as it could be but also just felt so unnecessary.

yep ryuji that might be bad!

because this game is a coward. i would throw Reverie on that grenade in a fucking instant, both to protect Ann because putting her in this position Sucks, and also I bet it'd be very funny to play through Reverie doing it. Also, Reverie is pretty objectively hot, why shouldn't he be the model?

WHATEVER.

Also there is a funny bit where a kid hears meowing on the train and Reverie pretends that Morgana is a doll that makes noise when you touch its head, so of course "Time to button mash."

ALSO ALSO. The Warden Twins are Strength. LISTEN. CAN'T BE WORSE THAN "FELLOW ATHLETES."

[bisluthq]

Something I don’t like about the internet is that everyone seems to think that every single person should support you through your mental health struggles. It’s a nice thing to do and people who love you do usually stay by your side, but it can get to a point where you’re affecting their mental health and it’s fair and healthy for them to leave. So much of the discourse around Joe and Taylor seems to be that he didn’t support her based on the line “I know my pain is such an imposition”. But it’s totally fair if he can’t deal with it.

I would also like to add that, in my opinion, everything she says in that song (that line but also “I wouldn’t marry me either”) is what she thinks he’s thinking, not necessarily how he actually felt. It doesn’t sound like he said that to her, but whatever he did (or didn’t do) made her feel like her pain was an imposition and like he didn’t want to marry her, whether that’s true or not.

so I’ve been going to couples therapy (second time today, we’re doing a course of 5 and will then see) and she has a few things she’s said - she’s super great - that really stuck out to me. One of them is that we all have our own story and a lot of the time our story is informed by what we’re thinking and our pasts and shit and has fuck all to do with what our partner (or really anyone we have relationships with - broadest sense) is thinking. That’s been really powerful for us because we’ll say something to each other in the session and she interrupts like “so that’s the story you're (me for example) telling, what’s the story you (him for example) hear?” And like a lot of the time it’s vastly different stuff. With Taylor, I think the stories she tells herself are very powerful because the stories she tells us are lol and that’s a watered down version of what she’s thinking and feeling and believing. But they’re HER stories. And I think I’ve always been saying that but I’ve become more aware of it in this therapy bout right because I’ve never done a couples thing before and so I’ve pretty much always told my story only.

like to give a random example right one of the issues we’re dealing with in therapy is my tendency to binge drink and that’s something I’m dealing with on my own time also but some of the stuff he’s upset about didn’t make any sense to me when he got mad originally (which is why we’re in therapy now). For example, one time we were out with friends and he wanted to go home and I didn’t and he said “I’m cold, let’s go” and I said “I’ve still got half a glass of wine left”. What I meant is “I want to stay at this restaurant longer, I’m still having fun” and what he heard - because of his own cockroaches in his head and like his alcoholic SIL and BIL and actually his ex wife and shit - is “I’m prioritizing alcohol over you and your comfort because I want to keep drinking.” That genuinely wasn’t what I meant, but it’s what he heard and that’s valid right like because we all hear different shit. We all have these things right and our stories and whatnot. We only EVER hear Taylor’s story on her lyrics and that’s FINE but it’s not the absolute truth because there’s no such thing? Like in real life personal relationships there’s no objective single truth?

the other thing the therapist talks about a lot is how every relationship requires a lot of work. people all come into the relationship with their own baggage and preconceptions and ideas around shit and even if you don’t fight or talk about it, resentment grows. My bf and I do fight lol that’s why we’re in therapy and she says conflict is an opportunity to resolve that stuff instead of letting it fester and yeah I mean that’s why we went to therapy. I’ve been in prior relationships where there was no fighting but a GREAT deal of resentment on my side and no opportunities for growth or fixing it idk. To me, YLM sounds like that kind of relationship. “How can you say you love someone you can’t tell is dying” idk dude because you haven’t told him and he’s not a mind reader? And I say that with 0 judgment but like that’s legit a problem.

finally I think Swifties need to realize Taylor’s partners have their own stuff going on and like no they can’t just orbit around Taylor. That wouldn’t be healthy at all? You can’t exist in a happy relationship purely to satisfy your partner like you both need to do shit idk.

[winderlylandchime]

THEY GOT THE SHIRTS! I repeat, they got the shirts!! They made us call them on zoom first thing in the morning and when they answered, my mom was holding up the shirts and my dad was just staring at the camera. And my brother who was wearing it went ‘TWINSIES!’ Before anyone could even get a word out. Our mom said there’s no way she’s wearing it because what will the neighbors think, the reply ‘that you care about Brian’ is not the correct answer if anybody wondered. They then again said they will not wear them, to which he immediately went ‘oh so what your saying is that you don’t love me?’ Our dad threatened to disown him to which my brother went ‘I’m 36!’ And my mom lifted the shirt up and went ‘exactly.’ Our mom thinks he needs more therapy to which he said ‘i have (his therapists name)!!’ And my dad immediately went ‘maybe the poor guy is not qualified enough for you.’ Also while trying to convince them to wear the shirts he accidentally revealed that he ripped his stitches cause of the show and they immediately got angry at both of us and threatened to give our numbers out to the sales people that call them and when I asked what did i do, my dad went ‘guilty by association!!!’ All three then continued to argue about random shit until my brother suddenly went ‘i think we all lost focus of what this meeting was about and that is *at this point my dad yelled at him ‘dont you dare point to that damn shirt’ and my brother in the same second pointed to his shirt* BRIAN’ Also a little bts to understand just how over him my dad is cause of the shirt: my brother has 4 friends that our parents basically “adopted” bc either their families aren’t around or they suck. And one day as a joke he said i was his favorite (it was after my brother got a tattoo of a pickle wearing a shirt that says ‘i <3 (his name)) so ever since then their (him + his friends who got matching tattoos) contact names in his phone are ‘not (my name) #1-5’ and then whenever one of them pisses him off he just changes their ranking (so if my brother is #2 -he’s never made it that far up btw- and annoys him he changes it to #5 and the #5 becomes #2) and then he sends them a screenshot in their groupchat. They all care more about that ranking than anything else. So while we were talking on zoom, my brother out of nowhere goes ‘dad why did you text m- NOOOOOOOOOOOOO OH COME ON THATS NOT FAIR I DIDNT EVEN DO ANYTHING!!’ and then shows me the text and it’s a screenshot of his contacts where he changed his name from ‘not (my name) #5’ to his actual name. And all of his friends immediately replied ‘holy shit dude, what did you do? That’s a first’ And as a little sister, i am finding so much joy in this, it has been the most fun I’ve had in months. So that’s what you’ve missed on the episode of My Brother is an Idiot. I do feel like I should say that our parents are actually really amazing and very fun (there’s a reason why all our friends hang out at their house even when we aren’t there) but also I’m sure you all can tell by now that my brother is a special kind of dumbass and they are both over it.

OH MY GOD DEAR SWEET ANON. I am about to start work for today and thank goodness I don't wear mascara because the tears streaming down my cheeks. (Please universe - deliver unto me a client like Brother Anon)

Your parents sound awesome and like they have a great sense of humor. I'm sure they are worried about your brother because of his surgery and not being able to be there with him. The QAF business is just what they can focus on. Also he's a bit unhinged by non-fandom standards. By fandom and tumblr standards, he's just fine. But wow, taking him out of the ranking entirely? Low blow, dad, low blow.

Speaking of the fandom - we are very eager to hear what your brother thinks about Carnivale and the false accusation and "there's nothing noble about being poor."

[giantchasm]

milgram jumpscare :0 i'd love to hear your voting takes for each of the prisoners

As a note, I'm not in on the Deeplore, I'm just a casual fan who was showed the PVs by a friend and given the basic rundown, but:

Haruka: Don't forgive. I actively dislike this guy. Maybe I'm just a bitch or whatever but I look at his story and my only reaction is "I'm also autistic and also have mommy issues and you don't see me killing both animals and people. Seems like a skill issue."

Yuno: Forgive. This one isn't even a question. Girl could literally be getting repeatedly pregnant solely to have abortions and I'd still be like "You go, girl!" It's funny that she seems to think people are only forgiving her/voting her innocent because they perceive her as some naive little girl. Like... no. I'd vote this way for anyone and everyone in this situation.

Fuuta: Controversial, maybe, but forgive. While he definitely got caught up in a toxic cycle, it's pretty clear he has intense regret over what he did. And also like... I think the behavior he exhibits is something everyone on the internet falls into a little bit and needs to try and unlearn. Not going to throw stones in glass houses.

Muu: Trying to decide how I feel. Definitely one of my favorites of the group, but as for the verdict...? Maybe don't forgive, but with sympathy for her? I dunno. She's clearly a very complicated person. I'm easily won over by #girlboss #buggirl swag, though. I watched Mean Girls on a plane recently and learned afterwards there's a theory that Janice used to be a popular girl before becoming an outcast and I think it's hilarious that that's potentially exactly what happened to Mu. Except if, like, attempting to sabotage Regina's life via new student, Janice snapped and gored her with a boxcutter.

Shidou: If I'm being real it's still borderline impossible to tell what this dude even did with how vague and symbolism-based his PVs is. Like he definitely harvested organs or something but as for the actual details I've no damn idea. Either way I'm voting forgive, though, because he actively doesn't want us to and I think doing the opposite of what he wants is funny.

Mahiru: Forgive. She clearly wasn't the healthiest partner but seemingly the relationship she was in was unhealthy on both sides. She doesn't deserve to be called a murderer over whatever weird toxic codependent thing they had going on.

Kazui: Forgive. As far as I can tell, either he asked for a divorce or is gay, neither of which is a crime. I understand why he feels bad about it, but he barely even did anything.

Amane: Forgive. Self explanatory. Literal child in a cult. I get why people voted her guilty in round one to try and teach her a lesson about the toxic mindset she had drilled into her, but it clearly didn't work. Leave fixing that shit to the therapists and not to the prison system.

Mikoto: Don't forgive for being a Tumblr Sexyman. Another one whose deal I'm not sure I fully understand. I mean, clearly he has DID, but I also can't tell if it's the host or the alter who even committed the murder, nor whether the alter (if he did it) did it for a good reason or not. For now I'll say tentatively don't forgive, but if it comes out whoever he killed was like. A threat to Mikoto, then John was just kind of doing his job as a protector. But like I mentioned: I don't even know if he's the one who did it, so who friggin' knows. Not me, that's for sure.

Kotoko: Don't forgive. Killing predatory evil men or whatever was cool and based, but she very much crossed a line by beating the shit out of the other prisoners. Approving of her prior actions gave her a twisted god complex and the impression that it's morally correct for her to serve as judge, jury and executioner, which just isn't true. Vigilante justice is a dangerous road to travel down.

[xreaderbooks]

Your thoughts on obx season 3 ???

Warning: SPOILERS Be prepared for a whole essay of my thoughts :)

I could not stand Big John, mf really just did not care about John B or at least cared more about finding el dorado and/or the treasure than his own son. Kind of made me think that John B was thriving when his dad was dead (yes, I know he actually wasn't thriving but it just hurt to see how his dad came back into his life and he was actually more toxic than you remembered).

Following up with that... IMO Ward is a better father than Big John lowkey.

John B needed to speak up! The daddy issues were real, I felt bad for him tbh

What is up with villains and their need to narrate their whole life story, I hated Singh, this short ass mf really thought he did something with everything that he did (that sentence might have made sense but in my mind it did)

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah... Get this girl a therapist! Please because what the actual fuck. Can I just say that I know she's human and people make mistakes, she went through some really tough shit. But this bitch really cheated on John B with Topper dude, like John B is the only one that's acknowledged that they are 'married'. They were not broken up, John B said some hurtful ass shit to her and she said 'come find me when you wanna tell me the truth' or something like that... so you cheated and you told your ex that you were broken up.

Fuck Topper and his feelings but if you know that he can get white boy crazy, like girl why would u do this? Mans is OBSESSED, and he wants to talk shit about the pogues when he's the problem. Literally, burned John B's house to the ground like???

Anyways... I still stan her though bec poor bby was hurt and ended up pulling through.

Kie's mom really did try to be supportive but HER DAD!!! he really thought that this girl was being lied to and manipulated by the pogues. he boiled my blood with the way he spoke to JJ and just did not try to be understanding at all- with the way he said that he was a pogue so he knows what it is to lie and shit? So that just tells me that you're really no better than JJ and the others as a matter of fact you were worse even.

If I was Kie I would have been RAGINGG dude that was so wrong of her parents, I know she was pissed but the moment I saw that van I would've ran!

Poor JJ, he really felt like he wasn't good enough for Kie (I don't necessarily ship them but they were cute). He was so self-destructive I wanted to shake him through the screen and tell him how he is more than enough for Kiara.

The no love club!!! did we really think that was gonna last though? Like they swore off love yet they have feelings for each other ahhhh okay but Cleo and Pope >>>

JJ and Kie had MOMENTS and they were pretty cute

I LOVE JJ but I am a slut for Rafe, he ate this season idc

It's the way that at the end of the season everyone gave the pogues a standing ovation for the award they received (was it an award? I can't remember cause at that point I was in shock at how this was ending) when they ALL thought so lowly of them, fake ass bitches I swearrr

I feel like they could've ended the show perfectly fine there, maybe they could have added an episode where they show how the group is doing while they live their new lives, I am excited for season 4 but I just hope they don't ruin the vibes yk?

So those were my thoughts I probably left out a few that I can't think of right now but for now let me know what you think in the comments or message me and we can discuss :)

[sweetlullabyebye]

My understanding of shows I keep seeing posts about (this has no point except show my extreme lack of knowledge over these things ig) (i'm probably very wong, feel free to tell me if it's absolutely ridiculous) (idk what the point of this post is tbh):

HANNIBAL

-hannibal is some kind of therapist???

-will needs therapy

-there's a cool lady police officer

-will has dogs... and once he's in like, snowy woods or something... not sure

-is will like, a therapist too? Or the thing they made a show about on Netflix, where they get in the head of criminals? Profiler?

-does will kill someone? I'm pretty sure he does

-hannibal is a cannibal obv and he has a scalpel

-there's a guy in jail (not hannibal) that really likes will

-will makes hannibal come out of hiding through the power of love and stuff

THE MANDALORIAN

-was the mandalorian an ex-stormtrooper?

-he adopts yoda

-there's a cool lesbian or bisexual lady

-there's some kind of war?

-baby yoda is adorable

-the mandalorian is a pilot??

SUPERNATURAL

-there's two brothers that have like, a shit father, and they hunt down monsters?

-one of the brothers sees a dude say 'i love u' and then goes poof

-i suppose there's supernatural

GOOD OMENS

-crowley is the demon and aziraphale the angel

-aziraphale gave up a sword???

-there's the apocalypse???

-they're like, in a weird lifelong (like, spans across centuries) relationship

-there's a shitty corporate dude that insults aziraphale

-they swap bodies at some point

-there's a library burning??

-crowley goes in a church for aziraphale

DR. HOUSE

-is that even the name of the show

-i still don't understand whether house is a doctor or a detective

-but he's got something going on with robert sean leonard's character

-whose name is wilson... and he has a gf???

-there's a hospital somewhere and wilson is some kind of doctor

-wait it's dr house, house has to be a doctor

-is it like, a medical drama

THE LAST OF US

-isn't that a game

-there's pedro pascal being a dad again

-apocalypse shenanigans

-his daughter has a gf and they're very cool

-pedro pascal almost dies

-they actually talk about periods and stuff

AVATAR THE LAST AIRBENDER

-ok i feel like that's cheating i saw a few episodes

-okay uhhhhh sokka dates the moon???

-toph is awesome

-zonko (wait that's not his name uh zuko) gets redeemed and he has a sister that has no friends or smth

-cabbage dude?

That's all I know, I don't know why I'm posting this but there :')

[elvisabutler]

dove career anon (god i miss dove so much). i was just wondering if dove has any friends in the industry or just close girlfriends in general, maybe people she went to school with? who does she hang out with when austin is away filming or doing press?

no idea what we’re talking about? see the little dove series masterlist for slightly more info, note it’s not safe for minors at all.

am i answering this over a cup of coffee? maybe. is anyone gonna judge me? no. which is to say hi dove career anon, i've missed you and lord knows i always miss dove. ( i say like she doesn't permanently exist in my drafts with the idea of sometimes writing her actual story proper. )

so yes she does have a few in the industry but those err more toward older people, not necessarily men ( with the notable exception of her best dude costar who she never even dreamed of sleeping with but everyone was like BET SHE CALLS HIM DADDY, the two of them run with the joke ) mostly because she figures as soon as she ever truly makes close friends with someone her age, it's gonna be a whole PR mess of getting pitted against each other and blah blah. but she is at least acquaintances with her same age female costars. just not- help me hide a body/we'll bully our agents into getting a movie together friends.

when it comes to people outside of the industry? or like- on the theater side of the industry? those are her ride or dies. most of her school friends disappeared once she got kind of famous- or like really started focusing on acting. but those who stayed are the kind of people who tell you that "you look like shit" when you've stayed up for 24 hours on set, took two planes to see them and dealt with an uber driver from hell. which is to say, they're honest to a fault but they'll protect her with their lives. back in the day she didn't tell them about the Austin and the Elvis thing but they figured out something was up anyway and sort of sat her down and let her have a cry when she was ready. they're the friends that her therapist tells her to talk to when she's having a particularly rough time with things.

now when austin is doing things dove really does try and be busy herself with her own projects but barring that if she can get them to come to new york? she forces some of the good friends to come because "listen i want to be cuddled with no questions and no drama and watch bad movies.".

basically, her industry (like hollywood industry) friends mostly err to the older side but are close because they either see her as a little sister/daughter/trolling soulmate. her outside of industry/theater industry friends are the ones she calls in times of lonely boredom without austin. and to hide a dead body but that's neither here nor there.

[weebsinstash]

bro 😨 i swear some of these are actually psychological horror books

I think the problem at least for me is really how it's handled and a lot of these authors are like obsessed with high school teenagers having sex. Like for example if you just spent like several chapters describing all the ways she's been physically and sexually abused by her own father to the point she literally doesn't even understand what the mate bond or love actually is, like her dad fucked her up so bad he would molest and beat her and say it was love, and she's instantly terrified when she meets her mate because she fears his love too, and then the story will switch to his pov and hes like, LUSTING for her, that's not ok? That's fucked up, like tone wise?

Like for example i know teenagers who are 5'4 and curvy probably do exist but is it like truly appropriate to be describing how sexy and hot to protagonist is when she's 1. A high-school girl, a child 2. An incest victim and has been since she was 13 and 3. The abuse literally just ended like a chapter or two ago and she hasn't even mentally recovered

Rm for length

Like this story goes from her new future Alpha mate who is also a high schooler saving her from being raped, he literally walks in on, ew, her father forcing her legs apart, and then like maybe 4 chapters later "oh maybe to help her understand the mate bond and help her be more comfortable, we can have her spend time with these other two kids her age who are mates" and she's like watching them touch and cuddle and be physically affectionate which i find insanely inappropriate actually, she was molested and told it was love so you're exposing her to other people being touchy with each other? Like an actual talented author would have made the connection that, realistically, the protagonist would probably be massively uncomfortable if not outright triggered by this, like at one point she has a panic attack so bad she passes out. and the dude who is her mate like, tries to cuddle her while they watch a movie and stuff, and she kind of likes it, but from my perspective as an adult and as a reader i just keep thinking "can you guys not even give her like a couple of months before trying to like lowkey manipulate her"

Like for the love of fucking god I don't want to hear about how he's literally getting fucking hard by cuddling with her and his internal monologue about how sexy she is and how badly he has to hold his wolf back from pouncing on her when BOTH OF THEM ARE MINORS like GROSS, what age group is this story even intended for, it's going from really adult topics to like really tropey mid tier highschool drama bullshit? I don't want to hear the fucking boyfriend thinking shit like "she shifted just slightly, briefly putting her hand on my thigh for a moment, and it sent waves of electricity straight to my cock" when she's like. Trying to just watch a movie and let dinner settle into her stomach because she's so poorly malnourished she can't even take full bites of a sandwich, she has to tear pieces of it off and eat slowly bc she feels so sick. Like it's the WHIPLASH.

Like sorry maybe when you're still a teenager, shows that show teenagers being flirty and sexual with each other might be appealing, but im a grown woman, and it rubs me the wrong way, idk? IS there an appropriate way for adults to write about kids in this way? Sometimes it's cultural I guess but imo I basically consider everyone a kid until they're like 20, 21 and it just. It's creepy. Please stop talking about how this like 16 year old is gorgeous and doesn't even need makeup and she has double d size breasts and a flat stomach and a thigh gap and a fat ass but is somehow also dangerously malnourished like, it's very. It's just outta pocket. It's weird man and that's coming from me. I'm gonna listen for a little while longer but I just find the handling of her abuse a little bizarre.

And also like. They have her speak to a therapist about how horrific her abuse was and the therapist immediately goes to her future mate and is like "I'm not supposed to tell you this but you are her mate, so--" and just tells him all her personal shit. That should have been her choice to make. They're not giving her enough time to heal. Maybe it's just upsetting for me because I'm dealing with a lot of mental health stuff and these plotlines involving being manipulated and betrayed behind your back and not respected or having your own autonomy is really hitting me

[symptoms-syndrome]

Yesterday my therapist was like "ok so last session you said [shit I do not relate to or think like at all]" which was weird. Usually I feel like barriers aren't so high that I don't even know what they're talking about. And we tried to do this thing where they were like "so what if you did feel this thing what would you tell yourself?" And I'm like I have nooo idea really. Because apparently I was really like, anxious about the way people see and perceive me in drag which isn't something I ever really worry about at all. It's one of my big strengths that I don't give a shit about that stuff. People will have their opinions of me and I don't really care what they are.

So my therapist relayed some stuff I apparently said like "what if people hate me?" And "what if I let things get to my head and I'm a dick about it?" To which I was like. So what if they do? So what if I am??? I've been a dick before I'll be a dick again life goes on we grow as people yadda yadda. Like I can't even really comprehend feeling that way or worrying about that stuff because it seems silly to worry about. It's like worrying if there will be rain tomorrow. Maybe there will maybe there won't but either way I can't stop it or make it happen.

Anyway my therapist said at the very end of session (like five minutes over time actually) that that part has come to session before a couple times. Not every time they said, but somewhat frequently. They gave a few other details, like that that part really needed reassurance and wouldn't really cooperate with grounding checks (stuff like "what would make you think that") and was just really anxious but didn't want to use the word anxious. It was really hard to make them feel any better. I really really wanted to ask them how they could tell it was a part, because I'm like. Always surprised when people can tell that kind of stuff (even though I've been told by other psychs I'm pretty overt.) But it was over time so I wanted to like respect their time and all.

Oh also when my therapist said smth along the lines of "how does it make you feel when I tell you that this is super not what you said before" (as in, hey dude that was parts stuff probably!) I said that I don't really feel anything about it because they're my therapist and it's their job to like. Tell me stuff like that. Like it would be weird if some rando told me "hey dude it looks like you're constipated" but if it was like, a gastroenterologist telling me that it's normal because that's their job. My therapist said that was really different too.

Anyway I'm sorta -_- only because IDK who that is that's saying that stuff at therapy. Like it could be a part I know but I can't really think of who. It doesn't super feel like it matches up with any of the parts I know of, even the ones who are like, IDK sad/anxious/etc. Like my best guess would be Tomas but IDK it doesn't feel exactly like him. He's more grounded and usually responds pretty well to grounding questions because he's super logical like that.