#also some of them r pretty awful so idk if i should share on here 🤪

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[everythingmustgo]

do tell your stories from psych ward please?

ok I have a lot bc I was there a whole 3 months and ive been remembering things abt it cuz of the time of year

the first ward I was in was the worst like honestly. nasti. it was like living in a waiting room, the sitting room had no sofas just like kinda padded wooden chairs and there were no real activities except "arts nd crafts" which was colouring in (god dont even). also they locked ppl in their rooms sometimes which was scary.

this sounds made up but I swear this was how it happened... the first person who talked to me after I arrived nd decided to go into the sitting room came up to me and asked me "are u happy?". I was still lowkey off my face recovering from an od and didnt kno what to say so I was like .. yes?? and he looked surprised like honestly????? so I was like no?? so he asked why and I must have looked bewildered cuz he was just like u dont wanna talk about it?? ok. and left me alone

the week I was there the ward was locked so we werent allowed out but there was a garden w a big wooden chair everyone called the schizo chair lol. I played cards w this guy who was actually an angel bless him he told me he made a genre of music called space techno and it was his dream to play piano in front of an audience. he made me a card and I have it on my wall.

while I was there there was a documentary on the bbc about how poor the standard of care was at this particular unit and we all sat round and watched it 🤪 it was p unsettling but thankfully I never experienced anything like what they were saying in the documentary and I heard a lot different opinions and experiences from a lot of different patients.

the 2nd ward I was in was nicer and a bit comfier and I met a lot of nice ppl. there was a woman who screamed a lot at night who I sort of became friends but I was a bit scared of her, I remember her letting me sit in the corner w her w all these towels and blankets and a bunch of junk like a pile of rubber bands and a vase and a toast rack??? and we put flowers in plastic bottles for some reason that I cant remember but I kept it by my bed with the sunflowers my parents gave me and we shot rubber bands at eachother which made me laugh and the nurses looked confused af. she let me come into her room and gave me this gross vegan turkey and we lay on the floor w our feet on her bed and looked out the window but I accidentally upset her by saying a word that triggered her and I had to leave her room. she saw me later on and hugged me and said it wasnt my fault.

there was a man who knew everything abt 80s pop like u could say any 80s pop song and hed tell u who sang it and the year and month it came out but he didnt rly understand social boundaries so hed come and hang out while my parents were there a lot. he also wanted to wear my clothes lol

I remembered the other day that I ended up putting my notebook in the shower after I wrote some trauma related stuff which makes me laugh to think about like god what a mental bitch

I was in the last ward in a different hospital like 2 months. it was by far the nicest one lol I had my 20th birthday there and my mum got me a stevie nicks hat and I just wore it around the ward cuz I thought well they think im crazy anyway so whatevs.

I went a progressively off the shits before my birthday (thought I was gonna die before then) and got sectioned twice, wouldnt sleep just paced around my room, stopped taking my meds which once they figured out they considered forcibly injecting me w antipsychs (thankfully they went against this on account of Mad Trauma), stole a butter knife and a pin badge and hid them in my room, got put on constant observation on account of crazy bitch shenanigans etc.

I was so determined to not take my meds that one time I had to fill out some form immediately after being given my meds and I kept it in my mouth the WHOLE TIME they were waiting for me to finish it. by the time they left it had mostly dissolved anyway lol.

I made friends w a woman in the first ward who got transferred to this hospital so it was nice to have someone I knew there. I still see her sometimes, shes from my town (not gon lie half my town was in that ward) and honestly she made the whole experience kind of bearable. she was always writing and playing music for us

there was a nurse there who helped me so much and I love him to bits and miss him every day, he was rly interested in basically preventing young ppl like me from ending up in hospital, he had rly cool tattoos and was bald w a big beard but had this soft irish accent and was rly kind and gentle. I remember him telling me one of the best things he ever did was getting over the hatred of disco music and when hes anxious he puts on disco music and dances lmao. also he taught me doing fake karate when ur anxious helps a lot.

I used to get dominos 2 for Tuesdays with this guy who wore a huge white leather jacket and told me eminem was going to give him a million pounds and he was going to use it to legalise weed and cure HIV and honestly I loved him sm he was real quiet and constantly paced up and down the corridors but he was rly nice to talk to. he hugged me sometimes which was nice too but the nurses werent keen on that

one of the nicest things was that there was a little garden outside this one visiting room and a couple of times my parents brought my dog with them to come see me and I got to sit in the garden and play with him

ok I have way more but this is already so much dkrjfjkkd

[drunkjaked]

hey sax, would you be able to expand on why you don't like longer fics? and even the thing about lowercase fics im so curious now that ik how you feel about them

Instead of sharing my thoughts (I can be really critical and fussy so I'll keep quiet) I'll leave 2 recommendations. These are some of my fave fics I've ever read:

The Art of War More by @/kpopfanfictrash (I'm so shy to tag, I'm such a big fan lmaoprotantor 😭😭😭)

Cherry by @fallinforgyu (Also shy to tag but Bunny and I r bffies now so I should get over my shyness)...

Proper like review type thing under the cut !

TAOM: This fic has like a college admissions scandal at the centre of it AND IT'S ABOUT JUNGKOOK MWAH! Anyways, really well written and such a good read AND E2L <333 And so so so amazing I love it so much, it's literally 42k words long and I loved every single word more than the last. All of this author's work (that I've read, mostly about Taehyung + Jungkook) is just phenomenal I love it so so so much.

It's so well done and I've never read a fic so plot driven (plot being the admissions scandal) that didn't make me lose interest - like I read it because I wanted to read a JK fic not because I cared about admissions scandals but OHHHH MY DAYS did this fic have me so engrossed in the whole thing, like even if this wasn't a fic or if it was about someone I didn't like I would have enjoyed this fic THAT is how good the plot is here

Cherry is just.. I literally started using cherry lip gloss because of this fic??? I HAVE GONE OUT OF MY WAY TO CHANGE MY LIFE BECAUSE OF THIS FIC?? If that doesn't tell you how good this is then.. idk what will .. it's around 30k I'm pretty sure (2 parts). The way Bunny wrote this is just so perfect I've literally never read anything like this in my life I can't believe it exists and I get to be alive to read it (AND IGET TO CALL MYSELF BUNNY'S FRIEND????In shock and awe at the state of my life????).

It's set in the 80's and it's the summer time "and the only thing hotter than the summer sun is the desire that courses through your veins." ??? THE FIRST LINE IM LITERALLY sigh I think about Cherry in all aspects of my day to day life and I adore it so much, I could write an essay on this fic (but I enjoy writing essays so this is something for me to consider), definitely due a reread.

And what's so crazy is that I'll see a picture / video of Heeseung and think omg Cherry Heeseung.. this has never happened to me in my life. So, yes, Cherry is that good

WARNING u will cry and sob like a child <3333

These 2 fics gave me hope that there are long fics out there for the impatient and concentration impaired ! If u have any long fic recs I would love to check them out but I really have to psych myself up to read them so it may be a while before I do.. Also omds sorry for the caps in here I'm typing on my laptop and I've been doing uni work all day so I'm in proper typing mode atm (in terms of my capitalisation anyways).

[witch-hazels-musings]

Sorry if this is so insensitive to ask, but at this point I'm desperate.

How do you write so well?

I've been writing for over a decade. I enjoy writing sometimes, but I've been nonstop comparing myself to everyone else for a while now, and it's destroyed my motivation to write. And a part of me has always wanted to be an author.

Do you have any tips on ways to improve my writing?

I do a lot of research for both my stories and how to construct my writing. You're really good at hitting both quality and quantity in your writing, while I feel like it's incredibly difficult for me to even do one or the other most of the time. I don't want to half-ass my work, but it's very easy for me to get...burnt out, iykwim.

Sorry for the ramble, really. I just don't know what to do anymore :')

ah! -- well bless you - I hope you can find yourself to love the works you do and know that only you could ever write the stories that are in your head. Each authors experiences bring them to where they are right now and help tell, shape that story!

I feel I may slip into a lecture - this is my advice and thoughts / processes only! (here we go) -- got a bit long, below the cut

I write with emotion in mind -> sensations of the body, thoughts in the mind, feelings in the heart (living creatures are naturally empathetic - we relate to emotions pretty easily so it’s a great way to get readers to connect with the action / character / story) 

I avoid just saying what the character is doing over and over again - he did, then did, then followed with. -> So, if I notice i’m doing that a lot I’ll go back in and add flourishes to the sentence (descriptions, actions, emotions, thoughts of the character) 

Example: 

1. He sat on the bed, then reached for the lamp that sat on the nightstand. It turned off and made the room dark. He stood up to walk toward the window to gaze outside, but the rain made it hard to see (staccato, choppy)  

2. He sat on the bed, the blankets which should be neatly placed under him were a disheveled mess, much like his current state of mind. The lamp on the table made his eyes squint and, in an effort to shield his face from the light, he turned it off. With a heavy sigh, he lifted his worn body from the bed. It creaked and he wondered if it was from his bones or the ancient frame that held the mattress. His feet moved forward, his mind distracted, until he came to the window but as he looked out across the landscape it was shrouded in a murky grey and obscured by the rain that fell across the glass.

You may notice I also avoid repeating certain words in the same paragraph - if I used the word ‘window’ I don’t want to use that word again, so instead I describe the qualities or ingredients of a window (like an alchemist who puts everything out on the table and then points at what they want) 

I pick and choose the actions to focus on - and i try really hard to make sure that whatever I’m describing it accurate AND CONSISTENT -> if you are going to describe a hand placement, make sure that hand placement is considered with what else is going on (continuity is important) 

read articles - search things like: How to write a good *x* seen, how to describe facial expressions, ways to say said (lol) -- researching and looking at examples is how we learn more! If you aren’t doing this every once in a while, you’re missing out**

when I edit works -> I read it slowly top to bottom (some like to read it bottom to top, so whichever) and i’ll usually speak it out-loud to make sure the phrases sound good and clear - i read all my works (and if i’m exhausted, I put it off till later and come back with fresh eyes) 

I based my writing off my love for a specific author because i loved the way his sentences were designed (Edgar Rice Burroughs) -- so i’d say if you love an author, analyze how they write. break it down, see if you can recreate something similar as practice

----

i’d also say - practice practice - write something small EVERY DAY -- that’s why I created Teyvat Memories, it’s helped me continue to polish my works over and over again

Again, these are just thoughts that i have after analyzing my works. everyone may be different and every author is different - but these are the rules I follow 

(( OH OH - gosh, also get Grammarly on your phone/computer - like it’s my saving grace because even when I edit i’ll miss something awful lol ))

idk if this helps but here you go lol! don’t give up!! if you love to write, keep GOING - and on that day that you write something and it makes you cry, cheer, shot with excitement, I  hope you will share your joy with me <3 <3 

[peach-pops]

Kuroo’s Secret Relationship

Request: hello👉🏻👈🏻 i had a vision and i cant tell if this is dumb or cute but IMAGINE kuroo and his karasuno manager gf at training camp but nobody knows theyre datin so they just keep it a secret so during the camp they try to find time to meet but if one of them is free the other one is busy. so during sleepy time she gets up to like poo or sumn and kuroo suprises her but she didnt know it was him so she punches him but then she feels bad and the next day everyone thinks he got in a fight I LOV U❤️

Author’s Note: Thank you for requesting!!! I am a total simp for Kuroo idk if you guys can tell. This is just a cute little scenario and honestly, I’d let Kuroo punch ME but that’s none of my business. ALSO requests are still open, I’ll close them once I reach a certain amount. 

Kuroo watched from afar as you talked amongst some of his teammates that were practically drooling at the pools of your feet. He knew he wasn’t being subtle at all as his eyes raked up your figure but he didn’t know how much more of this he could take. 

You two had been dating for a while but you both thought it would be important to keep your relationship a secret for the time being. Kuroo didn’t want to make it seem like he would be putting volleyball as a second priority to his team and you didn’t want it to look like you were fooling around with one of Karasuno’s “enemies”. 

It was fun sneaking off behind corners for private makeout sessions and sharing secret glances towards each other but as Kuroo watched you get blatantly hit on in front of him, he felt like he was losing his cool. 

The worst part was that since the training camp started, the two of you had no alone time and it was eating away at the both of you. You felt like you couldn’t even smile at Kuroo when he did really well against your own Karasuno without exposing your relationship and frankly, the two of you were both at your wits end. 

“ You’re making it obvious,” Kuroo turned around and looked down at Kenma, who’s attention was on his gaming console,” just go over there.”

Okay, Kuroo wasn’t supposed to tell anyone but Kenma was an exception. The two had been friends for so long and Kuroo trusted him with his life, plus Kenma was never the type to gossip. 

“ Are you seeing this? They’re practically undressing her with their eyes! I can tell from here that Lev is into her just from the way he’s standing,” Kuroo kept his gaze on you as you let out a laugh and even though Kuroo didn’t hear the joke, he knew your laugh wasn’t even genuine,” I might actually kill them, would you help me bury the body?”

Kenma sighed as he continued to keep his attention to his game,” You’re hopeless.”

“ We would need to dig a bigger hole, Lev has a pretty big head,” Kuroo mumbled as you excused yourself to step away. 

As soon as you turned away from the boys, your smile dropped and Kuroo could visibly see how annoyed you were with the conversation. 

It made Kuroo feel better that you didn’t like getting hit on but it wasn’t like you could stop them, they all thought you were single. If they would’ve known you were dating the captain of Nekoma, their advances would stop but that wasn’t an option at the moment. 

You looked over at Kuroo and your whole demeanor shifted. You gave him a big smile before you looked away and pulled out your phone to text him. 

Y/N: pls tell me you saw that- i couldn’t wait for that conversation to be over, lev and yamamoto are going to be the death of me 

Tetsuro: trust me, they’ll wish they were dead once im done with them

Tetsuro: r u free rn? I checked this morning and the janitors closet is unlocked maybe we can sneak off to have some alone time ;)

You looked up from your phone and up towards Kuroo who had the biggest smirk on his face. Before you could text back, Nekoma’s manager announced that Nekoma was next up to play for court two. 

Kuroo groaned out loud, of course the universe was against him. 

Tetsuro: im sorry baby, maybe later tonight then? 

Y/N: that’s fine - good luck!

You watched as Kuroo put his phone away and sent you a quick wink before heading over to the empty court. 

For the rest of the day, you two hardly even had the chance to share a glance between each other. Whenever he was playing on a court, Karasuno had their own match and whenever he was free, you had manager duties with the other girls. 

Even during dinner, you were so busy running around doing last-minute tasks before bed that Kuroo never got to say goodnight to you. By the time you finished, Kuroo was already in bed snoring away with his teammates. 

In the middle of the night, you woke up to Tanaka kicking you in his sleep and in retaliation, you grabbed your pillow and swung it over his face. 

Tanaka only grumbled and flipped to face the other way, still in deep sleep whereas you were now wide awake. You rubbed your tired eyes but as you tried to fall back asleep, all you could think about was how dry your mouth was. 

You contemplated on getting water before you sat up from your sleeping bag and walked out of the room silently, trying your best not to step on any of the sleeping boys. Once you shut the door behind you, you made your way down the hallway to the water fountain in a tired manner. 

You weren’t terrified of the dark but the thought of going down a dark hallway at a school you weren’t familiar with was unsettling to say the least and you wish you brought your phone for some light. 

When you reach the water fountain, you bent down and as you started to drink the water, you felt like something was off. Before you could turn around, you felt something touch your waist and every hair on the back of your neck stood up. 

You whipped around and when you saw a tall and dark figure, your first instinct was to scream and swing your arm out to defend yourself. You made contact with the figure and once you heard the groan, you knew exactly who it was. 

“ Tetsuro! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, you scared me! Are you okay!” You said as Kuroo held his cheek in pain. 

He couldn’t believe you had actually punched him but he was even more surprised you landed a good punch in the dark,” See baby, I told you taking those boxing lessons would pay off but damn, you punch hard.”

“ You know you can’t sneak up on me like that, I’m jumpy!” You sighed as you squinted to see Kuroo’s face in the dark,” what are you doing up this late?”

Kuroo kept one hand on his throbbing cheek as the other reached down to pull out his phone,” I texted you to meet me in front of the janitors closet cause I wanted to have some quality time with my beautiful, sweet, girlfriend who I thought would never hurt me but instead of kisses, I got socked in the face!” 

You knew Kuroo was only teasing you but you felt so guilty. You wrapped your arms around his large frame and pressed your face into his chest and apologized in a muffled tone,” I’m the worst girlfriend ever.” 

Kuroo let out a laugh as he weaved his fingers through your bedhead and planted a kiss on the top of your head,” Don’t say that. If it makes you feel any better, you could always just knock out guys who try to hit on you now.”

You smiled up at your boyfriend as he took the chance to lean down and kiss you softly, his hands wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to him. 

Kuroo smirked against your lips as you moved your hands up to lightly tug on his hair,” You know, the janitors closet locks from the inside.”

“ Are you suggesting we have sex in a dirty closet? What if someone walks by and hears us?”

“ Get your head out of the gutter, I never said anything about sex,” Kuroo acted shocked as he tucked a strand of hair before leaning down to whisper in your ear,” unless you think you can be quiet for me.” 

You rolled your eyes as you grabbed Kuroo’s hand and led him into the janitors closet right beside the restrooms,” Whatever, we both know you’re the loud one.” 

“ We’ll see about that kitten.” 

The next morning, Kuroo went to practice normally but not without weird murmurs from his teammates. At first, he thought his secret was out and maybe you had left hickeys across his neck but it was an entirely different mark that he had forgotten about. 

“ Woah, buddy, did you get into a fight? I’m pretty blind but I’m pretty sure you didn’t have that bruise at dinner yesterday,” Bokuto said in awe as he tried to touch the large bruise that was on Kuroo’s cheek,” that is a bruise! Akaashi, come look at this!”

Kuroo swatted his hand away and used his phone camera to get a better look at his face. Turns out, you had punched him way harder than he had initially thought. 

Kuroo couldn’t even think of a lie in time so he tried to reveal as little as possible,” Who am I going to fight around here?” 

“ I don’t know...has anyone seen Lev?” Akaashi asked right as Karasuno entered through the gym doors. 

“Kuroo! Did you kill Lev? You can be honest with me I wouldn’t tell a soul!” Bokuto shouted loudly as a few heads turned in their direction. 

Your ears perked up once you heard Kuroo’s name and as you turned to look over at the boys, your heart immediately dropped when you saw the bruise you had left Kuroo. 

Without thinking, you dug into one of the coolers and pulled out an icepack, even though it was a little too late to ice it down. 

You rushed over to Kuroo, not caring that some people had their attention on you as you pressed it against his face,” That looks really bad, I’m so- um what happened?” 

“ Kuroo killed Lev!” Bokuto teased as Akaashi gave him a stern look that quickly shut him up. 

You sighed as you looked up at Kuroo and bit the inside of your cheek before whispering  softly,” I think we should tell everyone before you get in trouble. You know Nekoma has a no-tolerance policy for fighting and I don’t want it to be a rumor that you got into a fight with someone.” 

“ I know, you’re right but can we wait until the rest of my teammates get here?” Kuroo asked as you gave him a confused look,” I want them to be jealous just for a bit.”

You shook your head with a smile as Kuroo placed his hand over yours that was holding up the icepack,” Okay, just for a bit.”

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//general dating headcannons//

Characters: Daishou Suguru/ Kita Shinsuke/ Yamaguchi Tadashi

Warnings: i don’t think any??

Word Count: 2K (~650 a piece)

Notes: i am soft for kita shinsuke. that is all.

Daishou Suguru

He’s a top tier boyfriend and no one is allowed to tell me otherwise

He is a first-class WEENIE for his s/o and would genuinely do anything for them

But noooo y’all hate him smh

Daishou is the kind of person who puts every important date of your relationship in his phone.  He is never missing your anniversary or your birthday or any other important relationship dates.  

He’s a good morning/good night texter too.  I know that everyone thinks he’s an asshole, but after being broken up with for focusing too much on a club, he doesn’t want you to feel like he only cares about volleyball.  If he’s going to be busy for a few hours, he’s going to tell you so you don’t think he’s just flat out ignoring you

I promise, he will let you do anything to him if you just ask.  Want to try to curl his hair?  Cool, just please don’t burn him.  You want to pluck his eyebrows?  Go ahead.  He doesn’t mind.  Did you see this really cute nail design that you want to try? Suguru already has his hand held out towards you so you can practice.

He’s not telling anyone that he does all of this so willingly though.  He has to maintain some essence of coolness

Literally the whole volleyball team knows that he’s a total simp, so idk who the hell he thinks he’s hiding it from

His love language is quality time, so as long as he’s with you, he’s perfectly content.  Daishou will happily just sit next to you for hours, sending each other memes or stupid tiktoks.

When it comes to actually going out on dates, he’s really simple.  He likes picnics in the park or taking hikes or going stargazing.  It feels very intimate to him and allows a certain degree of vulnerability that can’t be found anywhere else.

You guys went stargazing on your first date and he brought you flowers and the two of you shared snacks it was all very cute and there was no way that you weren’t going to go on a second date with him

Speaking of flowers-

One time you made him mad over something really stupid and he brought you some flowers as a partial apology for him being overdramatic, but the card just said “fuck you” in really pretty lettering, but there was a really small, “but also, I love you” on the other side.

The two of you pick up random hobbies together?  For no other reason than the two of you spend an awful lot of time just sitting at each other's house?  So, you decided to do something other than just sit on your phones for h o u r s

You’ve made those giant arm-knitted blankets together.  One time, you tried to make soap, but it didn’t smell good so that hobby got scrapped.  You’ve tried to learn how to roller skate together, but Daishou almost broke his arm so you thought maybe something less dangerous like puzzles.  But, those got old really fast.

Please for the love of god run your hand over his arms.  He will be putty in your hands.  He loves it so much.

Better yet?  Put your hands on his biceps when he kisses you and he’s a happy boy.  His arms are the feature that he’s most proud of, so knowing that you like them too is a big boost to his ego.

He has two main nicknames for you smh.  When he’s teasing or just being a little shit, he calls you sweetheart.  If he actually wants to be affectionate, Daishou calls you babygirl.

He’ll pull you into his lap and pepper your face in kisses while telling you, “I love you, babygirl, you know that?”

If you call him ‘Sugu’ or just ‘ru’ he may actually die right there.   It just plucks something in his heart that sends him to cloud-9.  

Suguru really is a fantastic boyfriend who just wants you to be happy ;-; He wants you to smile and laugh and be comfortable around him, because he’s here for the long-haul.  When Daishou falls in love, he falls hard

Kita Shinsuke

An absolute sweetheart

He’s going to take care of you so good

Kita for sure walked straight up to you and asked you on a date.  He gave zero fucks.  Nerves?  Kita has never heard of them before. If you reject him, you reject him.  It’s not like it’s the end of the world.

You met his grandmother really early into the relationship because she’s really important to Kita, so he needed to know that she approved of you before fully committing to a relationship with you.

But, I promise, she loves you and now that Kita is finally dating someone, she’s going to pester him about wedding plans once he comes home from your date.  She doesn’t care that this is only the second date.  She wants to see her grandson married.

Kita genuinely loves domestic life?  Please please please come over and cook with him.  If you offer to help him with the dishes, he may propose right there.  Okay not literally but you know what i mean.  Come over on Saturdays for laundry and gardening.

I should mention that dating Kita isn’t always chores and housework, but even when it is, it really doesn’t feel like it?  The two of you joke around, definitely throwing dirt at one another while you’re pulling weeds in the garden or flicking water at him while doing the dishes.  

He’s an “acts of service” kind of person.  Little things like having your favorite snacks in the cabinets for when you come over or turning the heat up before you get there so it’ll be warm because he knows you get gold. You left your math binder at his house once, so he took the time to put all of the loose papers where he knew you would’ve wanted them.

If you’re a person who gets periods, he has pads and extra painkillers stocked in the bathroom cabinet.

Please note that Kita has zero shame in buying you period products.  You need tampons?  Okay.  What size and what brand?  Do you want anything else?  He can get some snacks while he’s at the store too.  You can say no and he’s going to pick up a package of pizza rolls anyway.  He knows you well enough that you’ll say no, but only tell him that you're hungry the minute he gets home.  He’s played this game before.  He knows. 

It makes his grandmother so proud, seeing him love and care so wholeheartedly for another person that isn’t related to him.  She just knows that he’ll make an excellent husband to you one day

She cares about you just as much as he does.  Kita mentioned that you weren’t feeling well once, and she packed up a bunch of leftovers and some tea for him to take over to you, pretty much telling him not to come back until you were feeling well again.

Kita doesn’t beat around the bush, so if he has something he wants to tell you, he’s just going to say it.  Communication is really important to him and he believes that it’s the key to a healthy and happy relationship.

But, because of this, it took him a while to say I love you.  He didn’t want to just say it, you know?  He wanted to genuinely mean it. He believes that that phrase gets tossed around too easily. So, it was a few months before he actually said it, but you knew that he was serious when he did.

He likes to kiss the top of your head.  If you’re tall, he enjoys kisses to your temple just as much.

I 10/10 recommend a Kita.  He would love you wholeheartedly and, don’t tell his grandmother, he really does want to spend the rest of his life with you.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

Another absolute sweetheart of a boyfriend oml

But, I promise that you’re probably going to have to make the first move if you want anything to come from this.  

He’s just so shy and nervous when talking to people that he finds cute ;-;

Although, there is a chance that Tsukishima told him to get over himself and just ask you out.  

“It’s not that big of a deal.  If they say no, you move on.” 

Shut up, Tsukki.

Yamaguchi really likes to hold your hand.  It’s really grounding for him, so if he’s ever starting to get panicked, he’ll reach for your hand.

Before every game, he has to hold your hand and he’ll squeeze it three times before he has to go.  So, if he starts to panic during the game, he has a fresh memory of the feeling of your hand in his.

Yamaguchi lets you wear his jacket during games ;-;  He didn’t even think about it as something to show you off as his, he was just worried that you might get chilly in the stands, so he offered for you to take it.

But, now he’s obsessed with how cute you look with his jacket around your shoulders that he’s letting you hold onto it whenever he gets the opportunity.  

Study dates study dates study dates

The two of you will either go to a cafe or a library and claim a table and just hang out and do homework together.  If you’re struggling with something, he’ll walk you through it.  He moved his chair close to yours so that your knees just barely brushed against one another.  

He loves to bring you little gifts.  If he sees something in a shop that reminds him of you or if he thinks you might like it, he’ll buy it and give it to you the next time he sees you.

He usually doesn’t like nicknames?  He'd rather just be called by his actual name, but something about you calling him ‘dashi’ just feels right and he really likes it.

Tadashi has a lot of insecurities, especially in the start of your relationship with him.  He doesn’t understand why you’re so willing to be with him?? He’s just a bundle of nerves and he’s convinced that you could do so much better than him, but yet you still stay with him?  

It took him a really long time to get comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship and realize that you weren’t going to just dump him because you really got to know him, but when he does get comfortable, it’s like he’s a totally new person.  His nervous laughter actually becomes more full and free and he smiles a lot wider.  He isn’t afraid to tease you and he’s a lot more open about his emotions.

Tsukki is the first one to really notice just how good you are for Yamaguchi.  Tadashi isn’t super open with anyone but him, at least, until you came along and gave Tadashi another person that he could connect with and feel comfortable around.

Tadashi loves it when you play with the hair at the base of his neck.  It feels so comforting and he would love to just fall asleep right there with your fingers in his hair.  Everytime you play with his hair, his head immediately goes to your shoulder and he’ll wrap his arms around your midsection and tell you that he loves you.

You will never go a day without Tadashi telling you that he loves you and that you’re absolutely incredible.  He finds something to compliment you on every single day because he just wants you to know that you’re loved and, while yes, he does find you absolutely beautiful, sometimes it’s nice to be complimented on things other than physical appearance and that’s where Yamaguchi really shines.

{Taglist: @moncymonce @nicka-nell @celosiiaa @lovinnoya  and my fellow daishou suguru simp @kuronekomama​}

[shinymooncolor]

if you’re taking requests- if not that’s totally fine of course- but could we see bby Leo make a goalie goal and the team celebration and then the *o’knutzy c e l e b r a t i o n* if yannowhatimean 😏💦. idk i just really wanna see leo make a badass goal and his bois being fucking ecstatic abt it lmao

Well haven’t written much lately but here’s a little bit for you :) got a few o’knutzy prompts so and some team prank as well.

Fair warning. This is 💦🍆🍑.

Business as usual. Thank you @lumosinlove - You’re amazing. All her characters.

—

Nado is late. There’s a prank involved. Kuny is a gremlin. Blizzard flirts. Logan is loud. Finn needs to get to it. Dumo is in denial. Sergei is in charge of fines. Kris is a poet.

—

Nado: hey man on my way. Get my stuff?

Kuny: can’t couch on door

Nado: what? Are you drunk. Please speak English

Kuny: no i mean. Couch front of door see?

*pic of all furniture moved into hall, in front of room door*

Nado: +}<$~€€\^]^]>! I’ve got like -2 minutes to get my stuff. I’m gonna kill James and dumo.

Kuny: bus leave soon. Sergei fine u.

Nado: get your lazy ass in here and help you gremlin

Kuny: I not help u when say mean thing

Nado: I hate you.

——

RussianGod: Nado say he on way

Ollibear: didn’t he just get back like 25 minutes ago? Why even bother.

Timmyforrealz: he’s just getting his stuff back but apparently someone moved all his furniture in the hall so he has to deal with hotel staff

LeWilliam: hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahah

Prongstar: well. I am a genius

Ollibear: how did you get his room key?

Prongstar: out of his pocket. You know, with his salary and history with pyramid schemes and having his identity stolen about 7 times, he ought to be more careful with his jacket

Dumodad: wasn’t it 6 times and one time where sunny and walker cat fished him?

Ollibear: well with the, quite frankly, disturbing amount of dick pics he already sends, I never saw the joke in that

DamnFoxy: how much should we fine him? Bus was supposed to leave 7 minutes ago

DumoDad: Sergei is In charge of the fines. What you say bud?

Sergei_81: i say $100 per minute? Captain??

Siriusly: what about $100 per minute and then additional suicides as well? Can’t leave your team hanging just for a one night

Nadotheman: you all ducking suck. Where’s my wallet?

Sunnysideup: that’s very pretty. Is that Shakespeare?

KrisVolley: @sunnysideup wouldn’t that be “would thy sucketh my cocketh?”

Talkiewalkie: what a poet you are kris. Love you

Blizzard: let the boy be. Also ducking? Going all vanilla on us?

Nadotheman: fuck off I can’t leave before I pay for that fucking furniture. Someone get back here and give me my wallet

Prongstar: I only took your room card. Sure girlie didn’t rip you off?

CarbO’Hara: who’s got nado’s bank on their phone? Need to block his account. Again.

Ollibear: already on it.

KrisVolley: I’ll go and help him.

—-

Talkiewalkie: who’s going to tell them to stuff a gag down Logan’s throat?

Dumodad: so happy I have the corner room.

Blizzard: I’m more intrigued as to where the yeehaw fit in? Are they doing a rodeo thing? I mean leo is from Nola and all. But still. Kinky.

Nadotheman: aw come on let them celebrate. He’s got his first goalie goal.

DamnFoxy: why are you creeps all listening?

Ollibear: well honestly we were in the middle of settlers of catan. And at first we thought someone was hurting leo. And Logan. Until Finn cackled like a madman and it clicked.

Timmyforrealz: also I’m winning this campaign. Not giving up on my troops even if it means listening to the unholy trinity bang

Blizzard: @sergei_81, @dumodad @sunnysideup @damnfoxy @bradygunzz you should come listen. It’s very entertaining and educational

Eliascookie: I can never pass to Logan again. He shouldn’t use “gimme” for sex and when asking for the puck

Kaneyoudigit: whoa Logan is a loud little dude. Are we even sure leo is in there?

Krisvolley: should we write an ode to the goalie goal? They got a solid rhythm going there.

Talkiewalkie: the refrain is clearly “just get on with it finn”

Nadotheman: woah well if that wasn’t romantic

Blizzard: what do you mean? Nothing is more romantic than asking your winger to choke you with his dick

RussianGod: I choke you with my dick blizzard😘

Blizzard: well Natalie would be fine with that my friend. When we’re back home?

RussianGod: 👉👌🏻👅🍆🍑🌭

Tyler the mighty: now that’s a vision. Is Natalie there too? Like is she watching or?

Sunnysideup: you’re breaking olli. Stop. He’s making moomin sounds

Ollibear: I already have to live with the sight of Logan shoving his hands down finn’s pants when I came back for my hat. Don’t make this one for me 😭

Timmyforrealz: I can shove my hand down your pants if it helps?

Ollibear: god knows where they’ve been last. Ew.

Timmyforrealz: oi. They’ve been handling a hot stick 😜

Siriusly: one assist timmers. Calm down.

Prongstar: this escalated while I was getting snacks. 100$ on Finn coming first

Dumodad: WE ARE NOT BETTING ON THEIR ORGASMS.

Sergei_81: we need to think chirps.

Prongstar: hahah sure thing Sergei. Also I think Finn just did. And oh there’s leo too.

LeWilliam: holy fuck Logan’s got a set of lungs on him.

Dumodad: I need to fumigate my basement. And my ears. I hate you all. I was blissfully happy pretending they were just reading books.

Blizzard: well if it helps, I can share nado’s latest leaked porn?

Nadotheman: I’m not even naked in that. Also you all saw the last one. Not news anymore

Siriusly: that shouldn’t make you proud

—-

[purplesurveys]

1043

survey by egooverdose

Japan: What is one stereotype you associate with Asian countries/people? :/ :/ Uhm...

Jelly Bracelets: Do you have any? In which colors? Have you ever broken one? I seem to have forgotten what these refer to, but I’m sure I had a couple that didn’t last long. I wasn’t much into bracelets as a kid. Joakim Berg: Who is your favorite foreign singer|musician? Do you translate his or her lyrics? Beyoncé, I guess. All Americans are foreigners to me. I don’t translate her lyrics, nor do I do that with any other songs in English.

Josh Todd: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, what made you decide to get them? No, but I’d love a couple that symbolize important things or people, like a bowl of nachos for Nacho and each of my dogs’ pawprints.

kent: Say something in a foreign language? The word ‘kampana’ is Filipino for bell.

Kundera: What is one philosophy you have regarding life|living|purpose? Idk, I’m starting from scratch after the shitstorm that was this year. I have to find one again. I’m not rushing, though, and I want to give myself as long as I need to regather. Fuck knows I need to be kind to myself right now.

Learning: What is something you enjoy learning about? Off the top of my head, anything that doesn’t involve machines tbh. I can read about anything Wikipedia and encyclopedias have to offer, but I draw the line at factories and automobiles and engineering and robots and stuff lmao, it’s just not my thing.

Minimalist Interior Design: How would you design the inside of your own home? You already mentioned it; minimalist. I don’t want a lot of furniture and a lot of color in my space. I’d be happy with a minimal number of items organized in a meaningful way with some pastel shades here and there.

Miserable Weather: What is a weather-type that you like that not many others do? Thunderstorms, I guess? It’s been a hit or miss for me these days though; I’ve found myself crying more when it rains...but for the longest time I’ve enjoyed bleak and rainy weather. I’m not planning to drop it as my favorite just yet.

Morning: Are you friendly in the morning, or are you barely awake? I’m friendly at work from the start to the end of my shift because it’s the nice thing to do, and because I have to be. But I’m almost always anxious and on the brink of breaking down every morning. Since it’s WFH, no one from work has to know that.

Music: How important is music in your life? It’s slowly becoming significant again. I got a Spotify subscription for myself after years of sharing with Gab’s account lol, so I’ve been revisiting the music that I had to set aside for months while I had to grieve on my own. It was brutal the first few days and I cried a lot when I heard my go-to sad songs again, but I soon realized I need releases like that and so I’ve been a little more unafraid to listen to music each day.

Oasis: What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Paramore? HAHAHAHA they were the first band I ever loved, man. And I’m happy I get to say I still very much love them.

Opinions: Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. Abortion being wrong|right, Meat-eating being wrong|right)? If it’s the kind of opinion that will step on fundamental human rights, like being vehemently against same-sex marriage, then we will have a problem. Otherwise, I don’t care if someone prefers Android or having pineapples on their pizza unless they’re being an asshole about it.

Orchids: What is your favorite type of flower? Does it grow where you live? Peonies. Idk, I guess so? I don’t speak flowers.

Outerspace: Do you think there's a possibility of life out there? There sure is; the universe is so vast. I wish we’re able to learn more in this lifetime, though; I wouldn’t want to miss out on future discoveries.

Photo-Editing: Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Sometimes I’ll add a cute or flattering filter; that’s the furthest my editing skills go. I don’t use advanced applications like Photoshop and I don’t know how to remove moles or stray hairs or whatever.

Photography: If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? I’m not into photography per se, like it’s not a hobby of mine or anything; but I do like taking photos of special or funny events. It’s nice to have a memento for a little bit of everything going on in my life.

Poland: Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Yes. Maybe not Norway or Finland levels of cold, but somewhere considerably cooler than the humid hot mess I currently live in. When I went to Jeju four Aprils ago, they had the p e r f e c t temperature I could ever ask for and it was sooooo perfectly and comfortably cold in that I got to walk around in shorts but I never shivered or got goosebumps.

Potatoes: What is your absolute favorite food? It used to be burgers, but my mom has been making so many cheeseburgers the last few weeks that I need to take a break from them lol. Right now, my favorite would be sushi.

Questions: Do you like to ask questions, or answer them? Answer them, hence this blog.

Quirks: What are some weird things about you? Depends on what you count as weird. By far, people have been weirded out the most by the fact that I don’t eat fruits and will avoid them like the plague. I don’t mind the reactions and it’s actually turned out to be a great icebreaker, so I whip out that factoid pretty often haha.

Quizzes: When was the last time you were tested on something? I had a blood test last May because we needed to know if my fever was dengue or something else. Turned out to be a UTI.

Radiohead: Do you like any depressing bands? After Laughter is sad as shit but I wouldn’t say Paramore is generally known by this image. None of the other bands I listen to would count as ‘depressing.’

Rings: How would you describe the size of your fingers? They’re long and slender, which I love.

Satire: Do you enjoy political satire? It’s a hit or miss. I generally don’t seek it out.

Singing: Who do you know personally that has a nice singing voice? Leigh.

Skinny Jeans: Would you wear them? Or do you hate them? I wear them, but I hate them. 

Smashing Pumpkins: Listen to the band, or take it literally and actually GO smash pumpkins? xD Neither.

Snakes: Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? I used to wear leather shoes because it was required for school. I avoid the practice now.

Snow: What, to you, is the best part about snow|snowy weather? You tell me, lol. I’ve never experieinced snow before.

Space: Do you like to have your own space? Are you independent? It’s definitely important to have it every now and then; I’m actually taking this survey from a Starbucks because I needed so baddddd to get out of the house. It’s the first time I’m out on my own without having to do errands since March, and it feels kinda nice.

As for being independent, I’ve been mostly a dependent person and I like having people to lean on, but my breakup has also been pushing me out of my comfort zone and to try out new things just by myself. We’ll see where this takes me in a few months.

Starry Nights: When was the last time you gazed at the night sky? Last Saturday.

Stockholm: What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Do I really have to go to another country for this? Hahahahaha idk maybe Shanghai? The people there were dressed so well when I visited.

Studded Belts: Do you own any? What do you think of them? Nope.

Suave Shampoo: What is your favorite shampoo scent? Brand? I don’t have a preference for either. As long as it’s able to clean my hair, it’s fine.

Sunglasses: What kind do you own|wear, if any? Do you like them? I don’t really. I don’t like my vision getting tinted.

Surveys: How many surveys do you think you have taken since you've started? My old survey blog has nearly 1500 while this one has a little over 1000, then add what’s probably a few hundreds that I did in 5th grade but never saved anywhere...so maybe somewhere between 2500 to 2700 in total? Hahaha I honestly thought it would be more.

Sweden: Do you ever feel like you should have been born in another country? I think nearly everyone from the Philippines thinks this.

Swedish Fish: What is a candy you often enjoy? Gummy anything.

Tea: Do you like tea more than coffee, or the other way around? I love coffee; I’m drinking one right now :D I never enjoyed tea.

The Beatles: My brother gets mad if people say they aren't the best band ever; what about you? Then I guess I shouldn’t be talking to him.

Theories: What do you think will happen to you after you die? Sleep.

Thom Yorke: If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him|her? If we were in a Covid-free society, all I’d ask for is a hug, really. I wouldn’t have anything to ask them.

Thought: What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I’m still grieving about the stuff I’ve already covered.

Thought-Provoking Conversation: What do you consider deep? This would be a little hard to verbalize and I don’t really feel like describing rn. I guess you can say this question in itself is deep, ha.

Tokyo: Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Aw man what an innocent question. I wish I could show this survey-maker what a trainwreck 2020 has been and how ‘busy places’ virtually don’t exist anymore, at least for now.

Unpretentious Gestures: If someone pays you a compliment, do you take it to heart, or do you pass it off as just flattery? I take it to heart, but I’m not always able to receive it well.

Video Games: Do you think they cause people to become violent? No. I spent my childhood going on killing rampages on GTA and I’m still unlikely to resort to violence.

Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? The term ‘low latency.’ 

Warsaw: What is a funny fact about your heritage? Good question, but I can’t think of any at the moment. I don’t really think ‘funny’ when I look for facts to absorb but now I want to look this up haha.

Web Design: Have you or could you build your own site? My principal requirement for my Online Journalism class was to make my own website/blog, actually. But Covid blew up and we ended up having to cancel the entire semester altogether, so my classmates and I never got to pursue more of that class other than our first few meetings, which were used for lectures.

Winter: How long|cold are winters in your area? It does not even exist.

Words: How many pages of words do you think you type a day? Maybe like 5 or 6. It’s a WFH set-up, so I’m exclusively on the laptop typing away the entire week.

Writing: Do you try to avoid it, or do you embrace it? I embrace it as long as I don’t have to write fiction or prose. I like writing, but only through journals and surveys.

[mysticthot]

RFA x Jumins Sister!MC

idk why i have such a thirst for jumin as a big brother but here we are

also this is hella long my b 

Yoosung Kim

knows who you are thru magazines and what not, but he’s never met you in person

that is until the first rfa party that Rika holds

he sees you from across the room, standing next to Jumin looking like a model and he’s shook

wow shes even prettier in person, i didnt know she was gonna be here tonight i should go talk to her, wait no she’ll think i’m a loser- OH GOD SHES LOOKING SHE PROBABLY THINKS IM A CREEP DOES MY HAIR LOOK GOOD oh shes smiling at me

thoughts running wild he doesn't know what to do so he straight up turns around and walks away

it isn't until later in the night that he actually gets to talk to you

“Hi, I’m MC. Your Yoosung right? Part of the RFA?”

he’s shook when u said hi first

you have a good conversations and he’s surprised at how easy you are to talk to and how different you are from your brother

at the end of the night you catch him before he leaves and give him your number

definitely spends the rest of the night trying to think of something cool to txt you

definitely asks Zen for help

manages to start talking to you, and suddenly your messaging each other constantly

its Yoosung were talking about, his crush on you is immediately all he can think about

but he goes out of his way to not say anything in the chatrooms cause Jumin hasn't mentioned anything so he’s not sure if Jumin knows 

lowkey terrified of Jumin finding out and sending a hitman after him

he’s too shy to ask you on a date

literally everything about you screams out of his league

so imagine his surprise when you ask him to a movie

boi straight up falls out of his chair in the middle of class

ya’ll go see a movie and his soul nearly leaves his body when you lean in and give his a short peck on his lips afterwards

“I really like you Yoosung, I’ve never had a guy treat me so well.”

“I-I like you too MC.”

his soul does leave his body when Jumin enters the chatroom the next day saying nothing but his full name in all caps

poor boi is immediately apologizing and ranting about how much he likes you and how he promises to be good to you

After everything Jumin simply responds with, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Now with Jumins approval, he officially asks you to be his girlfriend which you happily say yes to

This boi loves you so much, and he is in awe everyday that you chose him

Likes to show you off, especially to his friends

Loves when you pick him up from school lookin all cute and pulling him into a tight hug

gets very jealous and protective knowing all these rich dudes are competing for your attention, but he as Jumins support and your love, so he’s happy

Zen

Vaguely aware that you exist

Has heard Jumin or Jaehee mention you a few times, but he doesn't think much of it, and he actively goes out of his way to not watch or read anything with the name ‘Han’ in it

He’s in the lobby of the C&R building waiting for Jaehee so they could go get coffee, when he sees a cute girl struggling by the closed elevator doors with arms full of papers and folders

ever the gentleman, he goes over and offers to hold some of it for you

“Excuse me miss, would you like some help with that?”

You look up at him and his breath is all but knocked out of him when he gets a full glance at your beauty

“Oh, wow thank you.”

You smile breathlessly up at him, both of you seem to be in the same trance

He snaps out of it to grab the papers from your arms, and introduces himself

Your both looking at each other with that same wide eyed look when the elevator doors open

There stands Jaehee in the middle of the love fest.

“Uh...Zen, I see you’ve met MC. Jumins sister.”

SHHOOOK

He’s so dramatic like he full on backs up hand over the heart gasping

You almost laugh at the look on his face

“Oh, so your that Zen? I’ve heard all about you.

Jaehee takes your papers from Zen and gets into the elevator with you mumbling about how she’ll be right back.

Zen almost dies when you wink and blow him a kiss as the doors close

Jaehee is interrogated by Zen through out their whole lunch

You were so cute and nice looking?? How were you related to the trust fund kid???

Gasps when he realizes that makes you a trust fund kid as well

Yet, he cant stop thinking about you and the moment you shared in the lobby

He’s such a romantic, he becomes convinced this is a Romeo and Juliet love at first sight thing

Hung around in the lobby for a bit one day hoping to meet you again, but he starting looking suspicious so he had to leave

Ends up pestering Jaehee for hours until she gives in and gives him your phone number

Very quick to send you a selfie asking if you remember him

You reply even faster

“Of course I remember you, how could I forget such a beautiful face? Oh and also Jaehee has kept me updated on how much u ask about me ;)”

He’s never been out charmed by someone before, but you have him so flustered

Quick to ask you on a date

Basically does turn into Romeo and Juliet ft. Jeahee as the Nurse (omg just realized how thats a pretty good fic idea i might right that lol)

She helps cover your tracks while your sneaking around with Zen

But Jumin is getting ever more suspicious and after many useless reports from him sending Jaehee to follow you, he sends one of his guards instead

This is all very inconvenient for him, he doesn’t like the thought of you not being able to tell him something, you’ve told each other everything always

not to mention zen has been getting on his nerves lately being strange and sappy in the chat rooms

He could never imagine the shock that filled his entire being when his guard told him he had seen you going into Zens house

Boi’s over there in an instant banging on the door

A shirtless zen opens the door, his hair messed up and a hickey growing redder by the second on his neck

Jumins pushing him up against a wall before he can even react

The slam startles you out of the bed in nothing but a sheet, only to freeze when you see the scene before you

guess you’ll die ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It takes a long time to get them off each others necks

“Guys, why dont we all calm down and talk about this rationally?’

“MC, the only thing keeping me from knocking this trust fund kid out is the fact that he is your brother.”

“Zen not helping!”

Jumin all but drags you back to the car and you’re lectured the whole ride home

Then lectured some more in the pent house

Then some more before you announced you were going to bed

He was angrily pouring himself some wine when he heard your phone go off

It was Zen

He justifies his actions by saying you had betrayed his trust, and opens the message

“I’m sorry MC, I hope you’re ok. I know he wont approve, but I hope you can find away to stay with me. I will never find someone like you and even if he doesn’t understand or believe it, I love you. Call me when you can.”

Now he feels kinda bad

Then he remembers Zen’s hickey and he’s mad again

It takes him a while but he eventually allows for you and Zen to see each other freely

Feels betrayed by Jaehee

Jaehee (Speaking of betrayal lol)

She knows of you, but has never met you, as you are studying abroad

When Jumin first mentions the fact that he is going to pick you up from the airport, shes initially worried that she will have to deal with a second Jumin

And in her experience, the high class women aren’t the easiest to get along with

So imagine her surprise the next day when she is going to the penthouse to introduce herself and finds...what looks like a completely normal girl lounging in her pajamas

You smile kindly at her as Jumin, dressed in his normal suit, comes to stand beside you and she cant believe the differences

Shes pretty sure you’re showing more emotion on you face in this exact moment than Jumin has in his entire life rip lol

She introduces herself, and it shocked when you immediately pull her into a hug

“Its so nice to meet you, I’m MC.”

The way you say your name and the way your holding her hands in yours while you smile at her she just-

gay panic

Your spending the summer with Jumin, so she sees you around a lot and every time you are just as sweet to her

As time passes she begins to feel strange when she sees you

Heart racing, cheeks blushing, you know the drill

But its been so long since Jaehee has had a crush on someone, and she wasn't even sure if this was a crush

poor babe is confused af

Cause your so nice to her

And you make Jumin be nice to her

And you get her off work to hang out 

But she doesn’t know if your being friendly...

One day she is going over last minute talking points with Jumin as he prepares for a gala event when you come walking out

Your dress makes you look like an angel, your hair is flowing and framing your beautiful face and- oh, there was that smile again

She nearly chocked when she saw you

gay panic intensifies 

you make her feel the way zens videos do

Suddenly she’s not so confused anymore

She walked you and Jumin down to the car waiting outside and you turn to her before following your brother in

“You’re not coming with us are you?” you asked with a slight frown.

“No, it would be inappropriate for an assistant to attend such an event.” she sighed, smoothing out her work skirt, suddenly realizing how different you two really were.

You paused, looking like you might say something, but stopped yourself, telling her to have a good night before getting into the car

She watched you drive away, and wasn’t expecting to hear from you any more that night

Then her phones ringing and its you and she’s answering in a flash

You voice is shaky, asking her if she could pick you up if it wouldn't be too much trouble cause you didn't want to inconvenience her

She was in the car before you had finished the call

When she pulled around the back of the event, where you had asked to meet, she saw you standing in the dark, a look so sad it made her heart hurt

You climbed into the passenger seat, but the ride back to the penthouse was silent

It wasn't until she pulled up to the curb that you invited her upstairs

As soon as you passed the door way to the house, it was like your fake composure, one that she knew you had been raised to perfect, melted away

You sighed before dropping face first onto a couch cushion and screaming into it

Jaehee didn't know exactly what to do, so she gave your back a somewhat comforting pat until you sat up ready to tell her what was wrong

Turns out you had met a man at the gala

(her heart dropped when you said that)

But the man was an absolute dick

(So your sayin she has a chance?)

The man had been grabbing you and touching you all night, asking for dances and pressuring you to drink

The final straw was while he had dragged you into a dance, his hand lowed down before he full on groped your ass in front of everyone

You had slapped him

The gotten promptly lectured from your father

“He was acting like I was in the wrong for standing up for myself. Saying I was making a fool of the family reacting in such a way! Why aren’t the men held in such a standard that so I don’t have to act like that in the first place?!”

“I’m so sorry MC, that is truly disgusting that you had to go through that.” She pulled you into a hug, and side by side you sat on the couch, enjoying each others comfort

“Next time...I think I’d like to take you as my date...” You mumbled into her shoulder.

She froze

Didn’t know was to say

Were you friends? Were you something more???

Her questions were answered as you pulled back from the hug and placed a timid kiss on her lips

It was short, almost testing the waters for both of you

But when your eyes met, the kiss that followed was anything but timid or short

Jumin was not pleased with that he saw when he got home

His assistant and sister making out in his living room

what was his life coming to??

Not nearly as mad as you thought he would be however

He had heard what your father had said to you and rushed home to make sure you were ok

Claims he knew this whole time you weren't into guys, or at least not straight, but you think hes just trying to redeem himself from the fact that his assistant seduced his sister right under his nose

Jaehee and you go as a couple to the next gala and rock that shit

707/ Saeyoung

Obvi, this boi knows everything

As soon as he was introduced to Jumin, he did a background check, and thats how he was led to you

From then on, he is not subtle or quiet with his ‘celebrity’ crush

Basically acts towards you the way he does towards Elizabeth the 3rd

Uses you as a way to tease Jumin and get him all riled up

“omg Jumin, I saw MC’s photo in a magazine today and I swear I fell in love all over again.

“If you come near her, I will get a restraining order.”

Jumin is in no way amused

The rest of the RFA is tho

Like Yoosung, you meet Seven at the first party. 

He is quick to spot you, and Jumin is even quicker to separate you from him

You, however, have no idea why your brother is being even more over protective than usual, and take the first opportunity to sneak off to the bar

Seven sees you alone for the first time and quickly turns to Yoosung, asking him how he looks before running off to you

You’re shook when in the middle of taking a drink a random redhead all bed falls into the chair next to you

“HIMYNAMESSEVENITSAPLEASURETOMEETYOU!”

“...What?”

He takes a comically large breath, lets it out, then holds his hand out for you to shake

You laugh when he bows and kissed your knuckles before introducing himself slower this time

“Sorry, I just felt like I needed to rush, your brothers gonna kill me when he sees me talking to you.”

You laugh and roll your eyes and he thinks you have the best sounding laugh he has ever heard

Good thing his only talent is getting people to laugh at him

You proceed to spend the next five minutes laughing so hard your stomach hurts and your eyes water before a large group of not only your brother, but several body guards come to interrupt

“Oh no, my sweet MC, it seems our time has been cut short, I’ll never forget the moments we spent together, no matter how brief!” he calls to you while being escorted to the other side of the room by two large men

Jumin lectures you on the dangers of talking to strange men and you remind him that the whole point of this party was to talk to people you don’t know

He forbids you from talking to Seven 

“MC, he’s a sadist!”

“That just makes me want him more...”

Later that night you get a strange text, or dare I say, a mysterious message, saying your phone was being hacked

Your shook and don’t know what to do watching as the so called hacker typed before the second message popped up

Is your name wifi? Cause I really felt a connection~

Ok now your more shook

Then a third message pops up and its the cute guy from the party, and you laugh before responding

You spend the rest of the night picking up where you left off at the party

And Seven it once again, not quiet about his crush

Jumin wakes up the next morning to chatroom after chatroom all about you

Half of them are him talking mindlessly about your wedding, the other half is the rest of the members telling him to shut up

Jumin is t r i g g e r e d 

His first instinct is to take your phone, since you obviously cant make good choices for yourself

But then he remembers you are an adult, and he cant take away your phone

So he goes to plan B which is threaten Seven with a restraining order, once again

Halfway through typing out a long, angry message, you skip out into the kitchen, and suddenly his anger it focused on you

“MC WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO SEVEN HES NOT GOOD FOR YOU YOU NEED TO BLOCK HIM AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER HES CRAZY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING”

“He’s so cute and sweet tho.” you pout

“Awe, thanks MC.”

Both of you look up to find Seven standing in the doorway with a bouquet of flowers

Seven is forcefully removed from the building

Jumin gives you the whole, “he’s a hacker he’s dangerous” speech, but you are stubborn

You tell him you are an adult who can make her own choices

He does the things parents do where they think they can guilt you into making the right choice

Thinks he’s won when he doesn't hear anything about you from Seven for a while

Imagine his shock when he logs into the chatroom to see a picture from the cctv of you and Seven kissing, clearly in the middle of a date along with a picture of a plastic cat ring on your ring finger 

“She said yes!”

“I am going to physically hurt you.”

On the more serious side, Seven would be a little harder because of his job, so everything you guys did would have to be in secret

He would get in his moods where he thought you deserved a boyfriend who could treat you better and be seen in public with you

Don’t even get him started on how dangerous he was

But you could use your connections to help him get his life on track, and eventually get him a job at C&R

Jumin isn't happy with it, but when he accepts that Seven actually cares for you and this isn’t just some joke, he will come to terms with it

V/ JIhyun

V has known you since you were born, as him and Jumin were already friends then

Infact, he has a picture somewhere of him as a child holding you the day you got home from the hospital

Growing up with V and Jumin, was almost like having two brother

Both very protective over you

Being kids, you went through the normal phases

“Boys have cooties dont touch me!” 

‘C-cooties...but MC...”

There were times when you would tease each other simply because that’s what kids do when they have crushes

His little cheeks would get all red when you and him would play games together

He liked to be the knight that saved you from the evil dragon (Jumin) and one time you very lightly pecked a kiss onto his cheek before running off and his face was red for the rest of the day

In fact you were each others first kiss

It was during a sleep over he was having with Jumin

Jumin had fallen asleep during a movie leaving you and V alone, sitting together in a blanket fort

You were playing truth or dare, but they were mostly truths to keep the game quiet and not wake anyone

“Truth or dare MC.”

“Truth.”

“...Have you ever kissed anyone?”

Your whole face went red, as did his, he had barely even worked up the courage to ask the question

“...No.” You whispered, “Have you?

“No.”

The game stopped for a moment, V was looking at while you did you best to look anywhere but at him

“Truth or dare MC?”

“...Truth.”

“Can I kiss you?”

The kiss was short and stiff and a little awkward, but it was something you both would remember for ever

And a secret you would keep from Jumin until way into your adult years

Jumin was annoyed by the whole thing

He loved his sister and all, but he didn't exactly like his best friend and sister always flirting

As you got older, the childhood crushes died down into fond memories and the occasional flirt or butterfly in the stomach

You dated a few people, he dated a few people

But there was always those times when it was just you and him alone where it seemed like something was so close to happening

But he graduated with Jumin before you did, and left to start his own life

That when he met Rika

You were happy for him truly, you were dating someone at the time as well and you wanted to see you friend be happy, he deserved it

But tragedy struck, and he was never really the same after that

You remembered her funeral, and the way he cried into your shoulder that night

You had to go through the pain of watching your dear friend loose himself, along with his eyesight

Supporting him in his time of need became your number one priority, but somewhere along the way, old feelings began to resurface

You pushed them down, deep down so you wouldn't make a fool of yourself or ruin your friendship

It took years until V would begin to see again what was right in front of him, he had been blinded by Rika for so long that he couldn’t see you

(im sorry those puns were just too good not to put in lol get it cause hes blind)

He felt guilty for his feelings, like he was betraying Rika, yet he couldn't stop himself from feeling like he did when he was a kid

Jumin, once again, was stuck between his best friend and his sister being love sick idiots, too stupid and scared to see the other one felt the same way

He’s so over it like just get married already

He decides to invite V over, fully determined to give him a talk and tell him to ask you out 

Then he will invite you over so you’ll be in the same place as V

Then, Jumin will politely excuse himself for a ‘phone call’ and give them some time alone

He begins his plan in the morning, making sure you would both be coming over for dinner, then he leaves for work

Unfortunately, a meeting he had at the end of the day ended up running super late, leaving you and V alone 

Plan was ruined he’s triggered

But, what he didn’t know, was that things were going along just fine between the two

You guys were sipping some wine and catching up and laughing and smiling like old times

V wanted to take a picture to capture the moment

You looked truly beautiful, framed by the night sky, cheeks flushed from the laughing and the alcohol, a smile on your face and a look in your eyes he hadn't seen, or at least hadn't recognized, since you were kids

He acted before he had the chance to stop himself, leaning forward and pressing a kiss that held in it the passion of years and years of love 

You melted into it, wrapping your arms around him and he felt like he couldn’t have brought you close enough 

He wanted all of you, everything he had missed out on in his lifetime of not making you his

Pulling apart, leaving you both breathless, forehead to forehead, he smiled down at you

“I’m sorry, I should have asked truth or dare first.”

jumins triggered lol

sorry if theres any mistakes im hella tired so i may have missed some in the proof read 

hope u liked it

[bubblegumstardust]

i havent bombarded you with questions in a long ass time so here i am (feel free to skip some if its too much): 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 (i know you probably won’t even have to google), 16, 17, 18, 24, 27, 29, 33, 36, 41, 47, 51, 58, 59, 61, 66, 71, 74, 75, 76, 79, 80, 90, 95 and finally 100🥰🥰

Dear God Chelle 😂😂💕💕

So sorry this is so long but I can't do read more on mobile

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I try to have more cereal generally but I just chuck milk in randomly and if it ends up being more then it ends up being more 🤷‍♀️

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I generally just use an actual bookmark, but some things I've used in a pinch are: receipts, a pen, sunglasses, some mail, another book, debit card, a hairband, my purse

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I don't drink coffee and I just have a teaspoon or 2 of sugar in my tea

7: do you name your plants?

Yep, I have 2 in my room called Ellie and Nyah. I even named their pots because they're cute and shaped like a sheep and a hippo! The pots are called Pippa and Mimi and they're girlfriends

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Generally writing I guess. I do a lot of painting/drawing too but that's less feeling expression and more just fun.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yep, and I'm probably very annoying to share space with because I do it a lot

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

On my side and I have to switch like every 10 minutes when I'm trying to sleep or I get uncomfortable

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Literally cannot think off the top of my head. @wonderfilledness, remind me please. Also Chelle tell me any of ours I might have forgotten.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

In our solar system, Pluto because fuck science, it's a planet! Other than that there's a planet I can't remember the name of that, because of rotation speeds, always has the same side facing the sun so like most of the planet is uninhabitable except a thin strip on either side between the two

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

The pup. Also I was helping my mum make masks and I completely fucked up and it was really funny

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Ngl it would be a mess. Also probably covered in books and art stuff and it'd probably be light and airy with lots of plants and cute pastel colours

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Oh where to begin! Okay so for one NASA had to design a special pen for use in space because due to the lack of gravity, normal pens don't work. Any liquid in space will form itself into a sphere due to surface tension. Sunsets on Mars are blue. There's a planet where it's constantly raining glass sideways because wind speeds are so high. There's a (I think) dwarf planet in our solar system that they nicknamed The Goblin. Planet 9 is something we can observe exists but no one can find it and it might not be a planet at all. It could be a black hole or something. The moon is slowly drifting away. I'm gonna stop here but I could go on for ages.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Fucken love a good spaghetti bolognese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Kinda want it pastel pink or purple again but also really wanna dye it like a deep turquoise colour

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

Excuse me how dare you assume I've done anything dumb! Tbh I definitely have but again my memory is really bad for stuff like this so I'm gonna turn to @wonderfilledness and @mooncloudsea for this again

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Tbh, you Chelle. Also I'd definitely trust Alice with them but it's somehow easier to tell you because admiting stuff face to face is horrible and I can only talk to you online really

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I don't like gum

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

Everything all you guys do is cute 😘💕

33: what’s your fave pastry?

C r o i s s a n t s

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Hmmm. I don't know what my mood is right now so like idk?

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

I mean I'm pretty sure the last book I actually read was Aurora Burning so I gotta say that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Well there's plenty of foods I don't like but I'm not sure I'd ban any of them because there's always people who do like them.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Okay it makes no sense but I always think of Alice when I here B0$$ by Fifth Harmony because it's one of the songs we always end up screaming along to in the car

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I feel like Alice is a vodka aunt and maybe I'm the wine mum?

59: what’s your favorite myth?

Idk actually. I quite like the echo myth though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

Honestly I have no idea 😂

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Small little delicate one with lots of small cute flowers like daisies and other pink white and purple ones. Also it would be full of forget me nots because they're my favourite flowers.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Peppermint all the way

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

They have short brown hair and give some of the best hugs. They're a couple inches taller than me and will not let me forget it. They also steal all my old clothes and would probably steal my dog if given the chance. They need to learn to fucken drive already and it's been too long since I last saw them

75: tell us about your pets!

He babey. He also a little shit but I adore him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

So many things. Probably most importantly, applying for uni

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Lol no one likes me enough to do something cute for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light purple. I chose it when we first moved here but painted it even lighter a couple years in

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

I'm generally not the biggest fan of cities but I actually really loved living in Nottingham. It was super developed and you had like everything you could need and want there but also really kept its historic feel and it never felt so overcrowded like places like London do and idk, it was just a really nice place to live

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

I don't really have any in particular. Probably do some more art and writing and stuff but idk really

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I usually pick future no question but like I'm a little concerned as to what such a near future will actually look like. Maybe the past so I can redo some stuff and make a few better life decisions and get help for my mental health sooner and also maybe find a way to do something to prevent some of the awful things happening right now

[gg-astrology]

Can you do a post on Mercury signs texting style?

I haven’t spoken to enough mercury signatures to like-- make it fun im sorry ;;

general things that probably don’t correlate to everyone but here i guess this is from my friends/personal experience:

aqua merc takes the longest time to reply bc they probably didn’t notice they haven’t --- or that they already reacted to what you said when they read/listened to you and then can’t remember what they said point by point later so they just uuuhhh blank out on replying unless they wrote down some notes when they got contributions to offer 

libra merc had already thought they replied because they had a whole experience thinking about it and mulling/reacting to it and then they just-- forget sometimes, that they haven’t actually sent you a text back. Will try to be inclusive and check in, but god-awful at doing so consistently or scheduling a time to actually TALK talk  

gemini merc just drop by whenever but when they talk, you’re gonna be there for the next 6 hours though bc the conversation is A* and you dive into a lot of topics and come to middle-grounds together

virgo mercs consults video-tutorials more than you but hey sometimes they open up to people, tries their best to be considerate which is part of why they keep things to themselves unless they know this could benefit you/them or both. Thinks a lot, solution based. You’ll probably catch them crying a lone bundled up if you live with them long enough.

surprisingly leo merc texts alot and they don’t care whether you reply or not bc they know you’re doing shit, but when they need you to reply-- they’ll just ask you to be there upfront and that’s pretty neat (like ‘what r u doing take me with you pay attention to me’ -- so you kinda narrate your life as you go about doing ur thing ig) -- has a lot of thoughts and wants to share their experience, so most of the time it’ll be about something thats happened/going on and that’s nice to live in the present

scorpio merc would’ve already had your time/chart pulled up and is one-step ahead for putting effort in showing that they care in their own ways. Has to be reciprocated back though, or like -- validated and appreciated. If they like you more they’ll have a folder dedicated to you (for them, not you). And if you went away for too long they’ll put it back on themselves (partially think/reflect that its a problem with them) or like-- confront you about it and want to genuinely improve interaction through future endeavors or something (demonstration or idk what else they want bc they’ll keep driving the same point in and at some point-- you’re like-- ok so what should? uh, what would help you?) 

sag merc will say they ‘leave on ppl on read’ a lot when in reality they reply pretty often if they like you, but be prepared for the conversation just being 3-5 topics at once and you better be able to roll w/ the guns and not expect it to drag on for too long (like react to a topic it aint that deep) -- also never talk about emotions in depth unless you’re talking about other people or your own. Sometimes they’d rather just forget it happens/exists. When and IF they DO talk about their own problems just let them talk first. And just like, support and be sincere but not like-- slurping it up? bone-chewing on it? if that makes sense?

aries merc might have periods of time where they just don’t live on the internet or has shit to do so they probably won’t see your memes unless you meet them in person, for me I make them sleepover and like-- have some quality time with them. Can get distracted being in a certain life-phase a lot (like in the speed lane or in the slow lane) and talking about it usually helps them feel more connected/find strength that they can work through stuff as well.

capricorn merc has their own thing going on so you can just observe them sobbing/dying/doing their thing -- that is to say you’re also interested in the topics they like/are on about -- because if not, you probably had no idea what they’re doing or what they’re going through, and whether or not they tell you when you ask them depends on what they think of you as well (and how much it matters if you knew) so uhhhhh good luck   

pisces merc goes by familiarity and tones of that, so like if you go ‘y know!! aaaaaaaaahh!! y know!!’ at them and they GET it, they’ll go ‘yeah!!! and y know!! like??? uuuuuuuhhskjn y know!!’ back at you -- also indulge them, even if you don’t necessarily agree or is like-- a stuck in reality type of person. Sometimes they just wanna share their vision and have fun. Let them be. 

taurus merc are so great at dealing with other people’s problems and listening/comprehending the situation well -- they give you a lot of structure/support. But when it comes to themselves/their own problems -- they’re like ‘hah no.’ when you slightly suggest something they know they should but still doesn’t do. 

cancer merc go through their own thing but appreciates you dropping by to check up on them, actually the more you talk the better bc it gets easier to just build that familiarity up from there-- certain hard topics also gets easier to share because they know that even if you don’t agree, you still love them and i think that’s sweet but theyre my problematic favs (in terms of their own opinion/humanitarian issues/politics/life motto) -- not when it comes to other stuff though. 

Anyways this is my! ❤️💕 weird lil personal experience stuff! ❤️💕 but I hope it’s alright ;; ❤️💕❤️💕 Truthfully, I think the moon these people have also affects them alot. And even aspects that they have in their chart-- like say with me, Taurus Moon square Aquarius Mercury -- sometimes I just don’t speak about my emotions/have difficulties starting conversation even with familiar people unless I’m getting some hug/emotional comfort along with it and I do things at my own slow pace. But yeah! ❤️💕

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

[confusedinfj]

Infj VS Infp

I'm always disowning a lot of so-called infj features and saying they're actually mistyped infp and isfp features, so here's a summary for you. You can mainly tell an infj and an Infp apart by how they are when they're stressed or angry.

I am NOT saying infjs are perfect. They just have different faults than the ones commonly ascribed to them.

Infp

An example of an angry infp. Tom Hiddleston hearing misquotes of Shakespeare 😂

The Fi DOOR SLAM. Yes, you heard me: the Fi DOOR SLAM. This occurs when Fi takes offence and has to cut a person off or ruin its image of self. It looks like a silent tantrum, and it is not a noble thing, no matter how hard fake infjs try to make it sound.

Passive aggression. Wait, is the Infp angry at me, or are they just tired? No, I think that comment was a dig at me. I can't tell....

Silent tantrums. When your infp doesn't speak to you, and manages to cut you out and make you feel excluded while including you just enough that no one else notices. Mad skillz.

Weird thinking. Like the modern Sherlock. Weird positions, weird rituals - just a bit weird really.

Incomplete ideas. Infps are likely to change their mind five times in a debate. Inferior Te can't help it.

Certain about feelings. Fi users will say they don't know what they're feeling, but they can usually have a pretty good guess. They'll usually be able to work it out without too much help, and if they can't it will be evident in their behaviour. If your i*fp cries over spilt milk, it's okay. They probably feel better now.

Short term feelings. Similar to above. Fi users say things they don't mean when they're upset, because, in that moment, they do mean them. Fe users can really struggle with these 'shallow emotions', which are powerful but short lived. I used to think Fi users were lying about not meaning things they'd say while angry, but then I heard of mbti and I was like - oh. They're just not me. Let's just say Fi emotions are like oceans. Deep and intense, but they swimming all over them, so they kinda know what's going on.

Turbulent. Infps lead with feeling, and - particularly when they're younger - feelings can change. That's why infps are on a quest to find their inner selves. They want to understand how they really feel about things.

A need to be misunderstood. Yes, contrary to everything they indicate, infps don't want to be understood. They want you to understood that they're a mysterious soul - that's about it. Fi makes an Infp feel special, and if you crack their Fi code they will instantly feel worthless. (btw infps, it doesn't work that way. You're still special.).

Play the victim to tell you off for hurting them. Aw, poor little infp is upset because I didn't want to do exactly what she wanted. Poor little infp is brooding quietly in a corner. Awww. TOO BAD INFPS. Ignore and they might actually tell you what's wrong 😎 This is the Infp's second shadow function (critical parent) at play here - Ni. It lets them know most people will pity them if the use the victim act, because they feel bad. Critical parent Ni SHOWS YOU WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO THEM. And yes, intps do this too.

Zero Se. They're not even sure if Se is real. What is it? If an Infp is showing signs of Se you should probably take them home, give them a book and a hot drink, and just watch them like a baby. Se in infps is unnatural. They will become even more quickly overwhelmed by stimuli than an infj because of this. But they're more likely to be in touch with their body because of Si.

Snappy control freaks when stressed or down. If you have an inf* friend and you can't call the last letter, think about what they do when stressed or sad. Do they snap at you? Say things they don't mean later? Obsessively try to control your behaviour and their environment? That's inferior Te.

Liked in spite of everything. If you can't type someone and people say they love them in spite of everything, they're almost definitely an i*fp. After all, they're still cupcakes 🎂

Infj

The face of an angry infj... Pewdiepie talking defending how much money he earns 😂 look, it's all in the eyes tbh.

The Infj door ajar. When you make it clear to the infj that they're not wanted, so they go home and close their door. But if you come back and say sorry they open it ever so slightly so you can prove yourself before you come back in.

Sudden aggression. Yes, you heard me. SUDDEN AGGRESSION. Fi mistypes have made it seem like infjs are the most subtle, passive aggressive people ever. Well they're not. Infjs will try to resolve their issues before telling you, so the depth of their grievance may overwhelm you. You might not get it the first time they tell you. So they get frustrated and appear to suddenly get very angry. Am I saying this is a good thing? No, but IMHO it's better than not telling anyone what you're upset about. Anyway, infjs only yell at people they really care about, to finally get their point across, so bear that in mind. If an infj is yelling at you they are 2000% done.

Silent anger. Ever so slightly different from a silent tantrum, because... It's anger. Every one who has ever seen an infj in their rare angry state has reported it to be scary (it's rare because an INFJ'S default reaction is sad). If an infj is telling you what's wrong you can fix the problem. If an infj is silent, you probably can't fix that.

No perceivable thinking, until weird questions. This is why infjs can be mistyped as Ne users or Te users. Occasionally they will need to think through an idea aloud (weak Ti), and thanks to the Ni-Ti loop it's probably some weird stuff. Infjs are also perceived as arrogant and thoughtless thanks to Ni- Ti, since it means they've probably thought about most things already and can just ANSWER when you ask them.

Complete ideas. Most of the time when an infj shares a thought it will be complete, which is why infjs often win arguments. Their Ni-Ti hasn't just considered their position, it's also considered your position, and your position on their position.

What R feelingz? Not all F types are the same. Some are Fe users, and let me be clear: they don't have Fi. They don't know why they feel tense - they probably didn't even realise they did feel tense. If your infj displays any form of emotion it is much deeper than it probably appears. Infj crying over spilt milk? Something is very wrong. You have to make them talk about themselves in the third person so they can work it out, because you probably can't. (*applies to Enfjs too, and all Fe users*).

Deep feelings. No, I'm not saying Fi users don't have deep feelings. I'm saying if an infj is crying about one thing, that's probably just the surface. People often complain that infjs and Enfjs in particular are emotionally mean for not sharing the full depth of their feelings, but in reality they don't know it's there. *nfjs are just sailing on the ocean of their emotions, they don't know what's what. So if they do mention something to you, take it seriously and times it by about 1000% in your head for full impact. *nfjs don't say things they don't mean when they're angry, but they may say things they've been keeping to themselves in a way they later regret. So if an *nfj is saying horrible things to you about you, don't assume they don't mean them: they do. Just try and filter the anger out and pretend they said them nicely 😂 Note: saying things in a way they regret means they may imply things they didn't mean. *nfjs don't always hear the full implications of things until they're said aloud, so try to hear the gist of what they're saying rather than taking it literally. It's why *nfjs often accidentally say things that sound dirty. They just don't realise until Fe filters it through people's reactions. 😂

Assertive. Infjs aren't as mysterious as Fi mistypes have led you to believe. In fact, infjs often tell you exactly who they are and how they work, only to be disappointed that most people don't lead with Ni and aren't trying to construct a picture of how they work. So next time your infj is upset because you don't understand them, realise they probably explained it to you already.

A need to be understood. Infjs want you to understand them. They only kind of understand themselves, and they could use some help. Don't accuse an infj of deliberately being mysterious, cos it's not true. They legit don't have a clue, k?

Tell you off for hurting them by keeping you accountable. INFJ'S critical parent is Fi, so prepare to take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If an infj feels the need to tell you off for hurting them, it's going to be calm, it's going to be rational, and it's going to hurt. You will feel guilty, because Ni-Fe will tell you exactly why you did it and why it hurt the infj. For example, maybe you lied to an infj. An infj would tell you it hurt them and go on to say something like, 'why lie about it? You know what that tells me? That tells me you knew you were doing something wrong. Because otherwise you wouldn't have felt the need to keep it from me.' And suddenly you will feel worse than them, as the infj realises the problem is yours, not theirs.

Zero Si. I don't even really know what Si is, that's how much I have it. If your infj is exhibiting signs of Si they're in a crippling state of anxiety/depression where they're trying to micromanage their world in an attempt to survive. It won't work, make them party. Zero Si also means you should take your infj seriously if they say they're sick. Idk why, but infjs NEVER look sick. Even when they're dying, they never look sick. And because of zero Si Infjs don't often feel a sickness coming on. It just hits them, and they wallow in misery, trapped in the prison that is their body 😭

Reckless when stressed or a little down. If you're in doubt about your inf* friend, think about what they do when they're stressed or sad. Do they want to go out with you? Party with you? Just do anything but stay home? That's inferior Se.

Disliked for no reason. If you can't type someone and everyone dislikes them, but no one really knows why, they're an infj. After all, they're just so... Not normal🐔

Edit: here are some pictures that symbolise for me what an infp-infj relationship of any kind is like. This is an over-idealised relationship, because fake infjs (infps) often talk about being friends with the real infps, and it's really just infp-infp 😂

And here are two which way seem contradictory. The infj is on the right in both pictures 😋

[sechangbin]

Buying Snacks; OT9

ok so,,, I’m just hungry tbh

WARNING; unedited and messy lmao

CHAN

would spoil you

like for real

“hey chan I want those packs”

“but they’re pretty expensive-”

“:D!!!”

“...ok fine- only one though.”

in the end, he bought you two lmao

“I’m going to become broke because of you”

“but snacks :(” a frown, just for fun.

buT THEN IT MaKES HIM CONFLICTED BECAUSE YOU’RE FROWNING !!!!!!!  N O !!!!!

 seeing you so happy while eating those snacks makes him feel all warm inside tbh

I also //think// that he’d recommend a lot of snacks? 

“Hey __, you should try this, it’s really good!”

and of course, you try it because you trust Bang Chan™. if it gets a good review from you he feels super proud!!

bUT LIKE, YOU ALSO BUY HIM SNACKS BECAUSE YOU FEEL BAD AND HE DESERVES THEM

“C’mon Chan, let me buy you these-”

“nono, its fine.” you know that facial expression he has, where he’s like ‘nah’? yeah, he does that

and then you argue for like a min lol

you’ll lowkey hide it from him, only to give it to him while you two are walking home.

and hE’D BE SO!!! HAPPY !!!! <33

which makes you happy !!!!

and then you’re both happy !!!!!

Chan just really likes treating you in general, even if he’s pouting about his money lol.

//keep reading for the other members!

WOOJIN

the first thing I thought was him getting sulky and pouting when you’re paying more attention to the food.

like,,, you’re just contemplating about which gummy bears you want and he’d be trying to get your attention.

“___! Look, don’t these look cute?”

“huh? I mean, whatever you say, Woojin.” you didn’t even spare a glance, drooling about those gummies.

and then he’d pOUT

you didn’t notice it until you turned around to get his opinion

and when you saw him pouting

yOU’D BE SO SORRY YET NOT AT THE SAME TIME

“omg, why are you pouting???”

“you should know why :(”

and then you’d figure it out and be like aW YOU’RE SO CUTE

and then he’d be like “hOW?? WHERE’D THAT COME FROM?? THANK YOU????”

ok back to the snacks

so then you ask his opinion for which gummies you should get

and then he’d show you which one he likes best

but in the end, he’s like ‘whatever you like!!’ with a big smile on his face

you just wanna give him a hug tbh

aNYWAY

he’d be there to tell you if it’s too much because he’s a mother bear

“no, you already have too much.”

“but,,, they’re good,,,”

“no, you need to look out for your health!!” proceeds to take like half of your sugary snacks and puts them back.

“wow thanks, mOM”

he’d just give you a big warm smile with a chuckle

i love him so much

MINHO

it’d be so cute

like one moment you’re staring at this lollipop

only to look back and see Minho with pink lollipops sticking out of his head.

and the best part is

that he’d act so sOFT USBYUGC

“minho,,, I like your ears.”

he just smiles, “really?? thanks!!!”

and you can’t help but laugh because ?? no problem you cutie????

he’d play so many tricks on you tbh

“mINHO WHERES THAT pACK OF CHOCOLATE I GOT--”

he’d just shrug, but really he hid them inside his sweater

“THOSE WERE THE LAST ONES AND I REALLY LIKE THEM-” 

pause 

“,,, you have them don’t you?”

“:)?”

“mINHO-!”

after many challenges of fighting for your dear snacks, you pledge to never buy food with him ever again.

but that’s a lie because you love him too much

“but seriously don’t steal my snacks ok”

“ok :)”

“stop smiling like that :)”

“ok :^)”

“::::)))???”

CHANGBIN

hE’D TRY TO ACT COOL AND DARK™ WHEN IN REALITY HE’S AS EXCITED ABOUT FOOD AS YOU ARE

“Chang!! bin!! Look !! at !! thESE!!”

“make sure not to eat too much, you already eat enough as it is” lmao stop u savage butt

“PFT please you would totally eat these all”

it’s true but he wouldn’t admit it lmao

would totally memorize which candies you like

but would lowkey pretend he doesn’t care because lol dark™

“Hey ___, don’t forget those.”

“oH YEAH, thanks, man.”

he gOTCHU DON’T WORRY

but omg you’d also take small notes about what he likes as well???

“cHANNIEBIN!!! you’re favorite is -insert his fav- right?? Let’s get it!”

“...ok.” anD HE’D SMILE SO WARMLY N CUTE AND IT JUST !!! MAKES YOU SO PROUD !!

ok buying and choosing the snacks is pretty chill with him

but when you two are eating the snacks together it’d be cHAOS

Changbin would totally steal your food and eat iT

at first, it’d be lowkey but then as he get’s more comfortable he’s like wHATEVER and steals it all without caring

and as a comeback, you’d do the same

“cHANGBIN NO ThAT’S MINE”

“hEY LET GO OF MY ARM I’M EATING”

and thEN HE’D JUST POP THE GUMMY IN HIS MOUTH

HE’S NOT EVEN ASHAMED, HE’S JUST LAUGHING AT YOUR SHOCKED FACE

you then proceed to take his small box of pocky bECAUSE YOU’RE SALTY

and then this repeats for like 84 years

even with all this, you two just love to hang and eat together

HYUNJIN

he’s so extra

“Hyunjin look at this-”

“fooOOooODD!!!!”

once he finds something he likes hE HUGS IT

LIKE 

HE EMBRACES IT SO TIGHTLY

“hey hyunjin, let it go we need to pay-”

“nO”

“HYUNJIN ISTG-”

but eventually, he does because if not he can’t eat it lol

The more you two search, the more silly he gets.

he’s like putting chip bags on his head for dramatic effects

and then when you tip the pile over he immediately tries to save his food.

“ahHhH, __!!” and he’s just sulking and it’s so cute like wow- sorrynotsorry for ruining your chip pile

and then you join him because how could you not??

oMG YOU TWO WOULD BE SEEING WHO COULD KEEP THE CHIP PILE ON THEIR HEAD THE LONGEST

LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!

“I BET I COULD KEEP IT ON MY HEAD THE LONGEST”

“LOL OK WHATEVER YOU SAY HYUNJIN”

in the end, hyunjin won because he actually caLMED DOWN AND JUST STOOD THERE TO WIN

like wow, how??

sighs in p u r e

BONUS:

you know those food products with idol stuff on it

yeah there was a Jinyoung section

and hyunjin fREAKED OUT

LIKE HE WAS LITERALLY HUGGING THEM ALL WHILE RUNNING AROUND

IMAGINE HIS BIG SMILE IM-

p.s he also got some foods for his cute doggo <3

guys stop sleeping on my boy

JISUNG

you two almost got kicked out once

it was wild

it’d be pretty chill at first

but then bOOM

like you literally hear a BOOM

and when you look,,, long and behold iTS THE FALLEN SQUIRREL. 

how did he fall you ask???

hE LITERALLY RAN TO HIS FAVOURITE SNACK BC YUM

AND TRIPPED

ASBDUYBDG

it was,,, wild

you couldn’t help but laugh at him and the two of you just ended up giggling the whole time???

jisung, the type to beg for you to pay for his food.

jkjk but like,, he’ll try lol

“_____, pleaseeee??? we’re like, best friends!” what a cute puppy

“pay for your own food-”

he sulks

you fall for it every time

aND WHEN EATING HE’D TOTALLY SHARE WITH YOU suck it changbin

ok, not all the time but like!! most of the time!

he’d even offer to feed you like aW TOO SWEET

omG YOU’D TWO WOULD BE FOOD-TRYING BUDS (does that even make sense?? dsugcdsuy)

like,,, while going through the section he’d see this new type or something

and would immediately get it for the two of you to try

 it’d be so much fun tbh

sometimes you two would get something the other hasn’t tried yet and would play this game??

idk but blindfolds are involved

it’s kinda like a feel/touch/taste test

just,,, without knowing the actual thing

basically, you’d be trying something new without actually seeing it 

so it’d be a super big surprise

“__,,, why does it feel slimy???”

“lol, it’s good just try it!”

“bUT IT FEELS WEIRD-”

you proceeded to just stuff it in his mouth

if you're wondering, it was a jelly stick

this got so long lmao

FELIX

mEME BOI™

he’s a walking meme and this is no exception

he’d be dabbing in front of all the cameras

while you’d be posing beside him with your bags of food

“Hey Felix, I think that person is staring at us-”

“dAB ON THE HATERS-”

actually, I’m not sure if he would actually say that, but lmao

he’d be pretty flustered and embarrassed though

aw so cute

aNYWAY BACK TO SNACKS

a lot of these he has never seen before

so he just kinda finds something that looks good/interesting

and asks you about your opinion

ofc he'd trust you

but like if you said it was good but it wasn't,,,

he'd feel so betrayed

"I can't believe you played me like that"

"but,,, it’s good???"

"i feel so betrayed :'( I thought we were friends"

and then as a sorry, you buy him one of his favourites lol 

"do you forgive me yet"

"yes my bestest friend in the world!! I love you!!!"

and itS JUST,,, ilyt you silly boy,,,

but of course, he’d do the same for you!! 

he’d buy you random snacks that he //thinks// you like

“you like these right??? here!”

“uhhh, Felix??? Idek what those are.”

“O”

like he’d literally just say the letter ‘O’

in the end, you eat it though because why wouldn’t you??

and he’d be so proud n happy

SEUNGMIN

would underestimate how much he’d want to buy

every.single.time

“Oh, I brought $5″

“Seungmin,,, are you sure that’s enough?”

“Yeah, don’t worry! Snacks don’t cost that much, and I don’t think I’d get a lot anyway.”

he ended up wanting so many snacks that it cost more than $15 smh

aND LIKE EVERYTIME HE’S SO S A D

he just,,, wants le snacks,,,

but he got no money,,,,,, same tbh

you can’t help but giggle because lmao???? boi wyd?????

he’s pouting like crazy

sO HE TAKES A PHOTO OF THE SNACKS HE CAN’T GET

they’re not even bad photos, they’re pretty good???

and its like, why are these pictures of small snacks so good???

but this is for him to know what snacks to get next time

so that he won’t forget what he wanted to try and all

sometimes, he just takes out his phone to stare at his pics of the food because he just wants them so much

but like I said before

he never bRINGS ENOUGH MONEY

so sometimes you buy some snacks for him

and he’d be like ‘no!! it’s okay!!!!’

but you’d still buy them for him anyway because he deserves them

and he’d be like !!!!11!! thank you!!!!! I’ll pay you back!!!!

little does he know

that you would still end up paying for him lmao

like Jisung, he’d also share food with you!!!!! 

it’s super pure and cute too like wow

his smile full of gummies just blinded you-

JEONGIN

“tROT CONCERT IN AISLE 3″

seriously though

he’d be holding bags of chips and be singing trot like the cutie he is

and you’d be supporting him 100%

“-insert some trot song bc I'm lazy lol-” 

“yES !!! GO JEONGIN !!!!!! THAT'S MY BOY !!!!!!” AND YOU’D BE HOLDING JELLY STICKS AS IF THEY WERE LIGHT STICKS--

sometimes other people in the store join in bc wow look at this smol boy!!!

and then he’d get so flusTERED AND CUTE--

and these mini-concerts would be completely random lmao

ok but to snacks

anyway

I feel like he wouldn’t want many things??? Idk, but he’d 95% support you and your snacks

that leftover 5% is for when he’s highly worried about your health 

“Hey,,, are you sure you should be getting that?”

“hm? why not?”

“I don’t know,,, it just doesn’t seem like you should eat it. bUT if you want to then don’t let me stop you!!!”

sometimes you listen, other times you don’t lol

but you appreciate it regardless!!

ahh, when eating!!! 

he’d be staring at one of your lollipops

and you’d be like “??? you want one???”

“Is that okay???”

aND OFC ITS OKAY !!

his smiles are like the sun 

and as he gets more comfortable, he’d just take them lmao

but not as much as changbin

tbh I think he gets more and more savage as time pasts sjcuiusd

[dylanobrienisbatman]

100 Questions

it’s long so it’s under the cut, but man was this fun. thanks for the tag @the-most-beautiful-broom ♥ i’ll tag my loves (if you want to haha this is a lot) @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @perhalta @dracovengeance @hedaalicia and @amihanmayari

1. What is your nickname? Bails

2. How old are you? 24

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius!

5. What is your favorite color? green (Aw hey linds, same !!) 

6. What’s your lucky number? I was number 8 for marching band every single year (F8 for flute 8) except my junior year, and my junior year we had a shit show, so im calling that. 

7. Do you have any pets? 5 dogs back home in seattle but none where i live now or in NY when i get back

8. Where are you from? everywhere and nowhere. my dads military. but im american! 

9. How tall are you? 5’ 5″

10. What shoe size are you? 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A whole lot, but they’re not always all with me. 

12. Are you random? not really. im pretty set in my routines and very comfortably a home body

13. Last person you texted? my best friend @broadwaybound2016

14. Are you psychic in any way? not even a little tbh

15. Last TV show watched? The Bold Type (WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)

16. Favorite movie? I’m not really sure but i just watched Love, Simon and im literally just crying because of it right now so im gonna go with that until further notice

17. Favorite show from your childhood? probably Lizze McGuire

18. Do you want children? Nope

19. Do you want a church wedding? I dont really want to get married

20. What is your religion? agnostic? maybe? im not religious, and not very spiritual. I love spirituality, things like crystals and stuff, but i try not to appropriate those things from groups/cultures who actually use them. I’d love to learn more about them and be someone who actually knew how to practice but, again, i dont want to step on toes culturally and take things that aren’t mine to take

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? a lot! a ton of surgeries on my ears

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope, im literally a goody two shoes

23. How is life? lovely

24. Baths or showers? showers!

25. What color socks are you wearing? i dont really wear socks? i like those little half socks. I’m not wearing any rn

26. Have you ever been famous? nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? probably. i’d love to have a voice, and if it was for doing something i love, i cant think of anything better than getting to share my passion with the world like that. But it would definitely be a lot of pressure

28. What type of music do you like? i’m into literally anything. I love Hayley Kiyoko, the 1975, big fan of just basic pop like ariana grande and charlie puth, Harry Styles’s album is a masterpiece, Shawn Mendes, 5th Harmony. i love anything.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes!!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? just two!

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my stomach

32. How big is your house? my house at home is a 5 bedroom 3 bath, my apt in amsterdam rn is just a room in a hotel type place with my own bathroom, and my apt in nyc is a studio

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? i literally hardly ever eat breakfast, but i love a bagel

34. Have you ever left the country? I’m in europe RIGHT NOW! lol

35. Have you ever tried archery? once, i was terrible

36. Do you like anyone? Not right now, but i might want too

37. Favorite swear word? i love the word fuck. it’s got so much you can do with it. i swear like a sailor.

38. When do you fall asleep? ummmmmm? whenever i guess lol 

39. Do you have any scars? A few small ones. a decent one on my knee from falling off my bike when i was 8

40. Sexual orientation? Bisexual

41. Are you a good liar? excellent

42. What languages would you like to learn? ALLLL the languages. I’d love to learn native hawai’ian. i spent my high school years there and the culture is so incredible, and i was so welcomed into it by my friends who were from there, i’d love a chance to really connect too it and try to learn that. 

43. Top 10 songs? Oh boy... im just gonna bullet these because i cant decide the order but this is the general

the way i am - charlie puth

young god - halsey 

rather be - clean bandit

feelings - hayley kiyoko

woman - harry styles 

make me feel - janelle monáe 

six inch heels - beyonce 

get right witcha - migos

my my my - troye sivan 

nice for what - drake 

44. Do you like your country? i’m torn at the moment. I hate tr*mp and everything him and his stand for, but i think america can be a wonderful place. 

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes!! <3

46. What is your personality type? MBTI: INTP 

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? yes!

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Hermione and Hermione is me. (also i really relate a lot to Lexa from the 100, which... is interesting. the way she suppresses feelings, her generally logical approach to things, the way she is totally useless around pretty girls.) 

50. Left or right handed? right!

51. Are you scared of spiders? If they’re like, big spiders yes. or if they come out of nowhere. im way more scared of cockroaches tho.

52. Favorite food? For some reason this question has been really hard for me lately? idk. i love a good indian style curry, and tacos? 

53. Favorite foreign food? Indian!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m CLEAN, but im messy. i feel like cleanliness and orderliness have been misconstrued to mean the same thing, but clean is to dirty as orderly is to messy. I’m clean and messy, i am not very orderly, and i am NOT dirty. 

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Experience a walk down the street in a city at night where im not afraid

56. What color underwear? black

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? not too long, but it sometimes takes me a long ass time to pick an outfit 

58. Do you have much of an ego? It’s as big as it should be. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck on them until i can bite them

60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly.

61. Do you sing to yourself? Hell yeah

62. Are you a good singer? i’m decent but i need another voice to match with. on my own i can’t carry a tune. 

63. Biggest Fears? failure. and heights. 

64. Are you a gossip? I can be, but never about like.. bad things. I like to talk about how this friend or that friend did x y z cool thing but im not like “omg did you hear so and so hooked up with so and so” 

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Not really because i can’t spell for shit

66. Do you have long or short hair? Short-ish? i cut my hair in march of LAST YEAR and then trimmed it again this year and i want it to fucking grow

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i would definitely forget some

68. Favorite school subject? History

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Pretty introverted. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah, im not allowed too for medical reasons

71. What makes you nervous? when I see kids wandering and their parents not noticing (okay im keeping that because me too, but also travelling? like the in-transit part of travel, catching busses/trains/planes makes me panic)

72. Are you scared of the dark? not at all

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? i try not too unless its major. usually its unintentional or the mistake is irrelevant to the flow of the conversation/situation  

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, but i hate being tickled unless its like, my sister or my dad

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes i have lol (linds, ily, we DEFINITELY have been over this already)

77. Have you ever drank underage? a little, but not until i was like 19, and then i was in europe for 6 months, so i didnt REALLY drink underage until i was like... less than 6 months to 21

78. Have you ever done drugs? Pot pretty regularly here in Amsterdam, and i’ve done shrooms

79. What do you fantasize about? getting a beautiful loft in a big city (preferrably london or NYC), with a kick ass job, a dog, and maybe a girlfriend with huge curly hair.

80. How many piercings do you have? Four

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yep!

82. How fast can you type? I just took a little online quiz that said i can type 72 words per minute with 93% accuracy? 

83. How fast can you run? lol I don’t run (same linds... same)

84. What color is your hair? brown!

85. What color are your eyes? Green!

86. What are you allergic to? I’m a bit lactose intolerant and pineapple makes my tongue itch?

87. Do you keep a journal? no, but i wish i did sometimes 

88. Are you depressed about anything? I’m not depressed “about anything”, im just generally someone who experiences a pretty mild case of depression.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah, i dig it.

90. What makes you angry? bigotry, ignorance, and spilling things. I spill drinks constantly, i spilled a WHOLE BOWL OF CEREAL ON MY FLOOR THE OTHER NIGHT.  

91. Do you like your own name? I didn’t used too but i really do now

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? not that i know of

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I don’t want kids. 

94. What talents do you have? i have a pretty great memory, but for random things i dont need 

95. Sun or moon? Moon <3

96. How did you get your name? My dad, he just liked it. My middle name was also my dad, he heard the name Jess on the movie A Man From Snowy River and he thought it was a nice like, nickname/pet name, so he gave me the middle name Ges (pronounced like Jess) with the intent of calling me that (it didnt stick), but he didn’t want anyone to think my middle name was Jessica, so he spelled it Ges.

97. Are you religious? I am not, but i have a lot of respect for the concept of religion, as long as its used for the real purpose, which is to make people feel peace and help people find love and comfort. 

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I have not, but i shold

99. Color of your bedspread? White

100. Color of your room? White, with one black wall 

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 3x02 recap

Aka the one where the team has to get their groove back

Ah, man. I always intend to do these straight after the ep but then damn life always gets in the way and now suddenly somehow it’s about 12 hours until the new episode airs… let’s see how quickly I can smash through this one then, huh? (Answer: not very quickly lol)

As usual, many thoughts to be found beneath the cut.

Look I’m not really a fan of hunters or white men who are overly attached to their weapons, but murdering a couple of dudes just because they stumbled upon your shady militant business seems a lil bit rough tbh

Ugh Weller is cooking for his lady he’s such a cutie pie and ugh Jane slept so deeply, when was the last time she slept well?? But ugh they’re really settling back into being around each other and HE COMPLIMENTS HER HAIR and tbh I like it best when it’s the classic ‘Jane Doe’ short look but this is super cute (and better than the wavy hair from last ep). And wow I feel like we’re burning through a lot of topics in this brief scene bc now they’re talking about how Jane disappearing pretty much bankrupted Weller (man, that’d have to add some guilt to the pile), and then it comes up that Jane is now vegan and tbh I have a slight problem with this new fact. Like okay being vegan is fine, but firstly they already had at least dinner together the night before, so this kinda should have already come up, right? And secondly I kinda feel like her being vegan now is just a somewhat clumsy way of the writers showing how these two have both ‘changed’ and ‘don’t really know each other like they used to’. I honestly expected her to be joking, and for that little joke to actually demonstrate that while they’re not exactly the same as they were, they also haven’t radically changed. But nevermind, I guess. It provided the necessary setup for Weller’s question about any other surprises-- following which Jane says nothing about the passports and cash she’d hidden-- which is what the writers really wanted to get out of this scene anyway.

Poor Stuart, Patterson really does not like sharing her lab. But technically he’s right, it is his lab too. And omg he and Zapata giving Patterson shit about her app is priceless. I think it might have been unintentional on his part but Zapata sure ran with it and I am loving her sly grin rn lol. But aw Patterson why you gotta growl at lil puppy Stuart so much?? He doesn’t have the tattoo solving experience you have, and plus, I seem to remember you obsessing over certain specific tattoos and getting distracted from the rest… though maybe the David experience put a stop to that, I guess, and you subconsciously don’t want Stuart to head down that same path. And then lol Weller strides in and tells Patterson he wants to solve one specific tattoo today and ooooh she is pissed, whereas Zapata’s having more fun rn than she did in her entire year at the CIA. I knew you missed this, girl. And then Weller says he solved part of the tatt and she’s immediately like ‘excuse me? By yourself?’ and looks doubtful (and also possibly concerned? It’s not something dodgy is it??). But omg “I’m not just a handsome face, Tasha” hahahaha. And yeah yeah we know about Roman and Berlin, though it’s news that there’s a specific sequence to these tattoos and that Roman is supposedly trying to help save the world. And now the team is crackin’ and ugh Patterson to Stuart “What a math whiz you are” and on one hand it’s funny but on the other c’mon mate, go easy on him. He’s barely more than a baby. Anyway ten she pulls some wizardy stuff with the tattoo and they figure out that it marks a spot up near the finger lakes. But then Jane realises that it may connect with the pre-existing tattoo in the same spot-- the left breast, apparently, thanks Stuart (next time answer a little slower, buddy) and omg she gives him this tiny, amused (but not mocking) smile as she repeats ‘left chest area’ and ugh I’m so glad to see someone being sweet to Stuart.

So the team updates Reade on the sitch, which feels a lil weird, and he’s hesitant to let them rush out and blindly follow the tattoos like Weller wants to, bc he’s worried about them being manipulated again, and oooh Weller gets all grumpy about it. Boys, boys, play nice. Jane gently convinces Reade into it, while Weller continues to grump. Dude, I don’t particularly think Reade should be in charge, but the fact of the matter is that he IS in charge, so you should be watching your tone. It doesn’t matter that you have inside info that this is a time-sensitive situation, that is still not a respectful way to address a superior officer. And then lol they go out and search for hours until Reade tries to make them go home “I don’t wanna just quit”/“it’s not quitting if it’s an order”. Lol poor guy, it’s like dealing with a bunch of headstrong kids some of the time. And then suddenly a satellite literally crash-lands right near them, and is pretty much immediately descended on by a bunch of military-esque guys. Notice that Weller is calling the shots again? Old habits die hard, I guess. Poor Reade….  

Stuart is still obsessed with that same tattoo and PAtterson is still annoyed by it. Reade and Weller walk in with a chorus of ‘so what have you got?’ and again, Weller, time to back down, buddy. This ain’t your team anymore. Lol “we’re not following hunches”/“We just followed Weller’s hunch…” ugh poor beleaguered Stuart. He just can’t catch a break. And sigh, looks like Rich won’t be helping out this ep. Bummer. Ooooohhh but Reade gives the orders and then calls Weller into his office, who definitely has an odd look on his face as he looks at their reversed positions either side of the desk. And omg Reade brings up the tattoo and Weller’s all ‘oh yeah I was right about that’.  Uh excuse me??? I’m not even on this team and even I don’t like your tone one bit, you insolent little preteen! Come on, Weller, this level of juvenile pettiness should be below you. After all, Reade is raising a very valid question about how it was that he just happened to solve the tattoo on the very day that the satellite fell-- which means he’s onto you, buddy. I’d be treading with a little more care and a little less jerkishness, if I were you….

Oh hi Sydney! Oh man when was this filmed??? I stg if they were there when I was there in September…. But oooh damn Roman is getting into some deep stuff here at this support group. Oh hey! I know that guy, he was in an ep of Timeless. And I think possibly in some Aussie ad? Idk. And yep, I don’t care if it’s my native accent, hearing it in an American show is always freakin weird. At least he’s a legit Aussie and not putting on a terrible fake accent haha. And ok I know he’s not but it kind of feels like he’s almost hitting on Roman haha? But in actuality I’m pretty sure Roman has orchestrated this whole thing. Also this dude lives in The Rocks??? He must be loaded, wow. And lol, it’s never too early for a beer in Australia, unless of course you’re me, in which case ‘never’ is too early for a beer haha.

Oooh boy, Stuart, it’s probably not a good idea to literally take the words out of Patterson’s mouth. She really does love briefing the team and showing how smart she is, which in this case involves her having figured out who the satellite belonged to. The representatives of ProtechSat arrive, though are greatly confused since they’re not missing a satellite-- at least, until they see the one in the lab. “Oh, this is for sure ours” hahaha. And then they proceed to have very restrained freakouts and make multiple phone calls as they realise exactly which satellite it was and what it did, while the team gets more and more impatient waiting for answers “getting a little suspicious here guys”/”lotta red flags” hahaha I love the sass in this team. And then lolll the whole ‘We’re from the DOD” exchange and the explaining of the acronyms is priceless. Turns out, though, that the US has a missile shield thingy via a network of satellites, and now with the black box from the crashed one, someone could technically turn it off. Lol at Tasha’s “great, now I have to make a phone call” haha. And Stuart suddenly gets the company name and damn I love this show’s subtle humour. Uh oh, apparently North Korea is priming their missiles, which means possible nuclear war. Geez, high stakes or what. Oh hold up, as long as a single satellite in the network stays functional, the shield stays in place. Who wants to bet that they stop the bad guys just as it counts down to one or two satellites left?? And then lol “stuart’s got something” “Really??” damn Patterson, be nice lol

Stuart has discovered the situation with the hunters, which leads them to a trail cam that shows the ringleader’s face-- and Jane knows him. She worked with him doing K&R, and knows several of his aliases. Reade is immediately thinking of the ramifications of her previous work, but Zapata and Patterson both immediately jump to her defense. Aw, my girls! And then Weller’s all grumpy again over this discovery and tbh I don’t understand why?? As far as I recall, he didn’t ever directly ask her what she’d been doing while she was gone, and rescuing kidnapping victims certainly doesn’t seem like a bad thing?? Like, so what if she worked with some questionable people for the greater good? Geez, Weller, you’re more hormonal in a single day than many girls are throughout their entire teenage years. Chill out, son.  

Back in the motherland, these rather similar looking dudes are bonding over more beers, and ugh Roman is telling him the truth about Shepherd and Jane. “Half the time I want my sister back, half the time I want to kill her”--- who wants to bet that that’s going to be a running theme of the season lol? And then haha “you’re next beer’s going to be a water” uh mate he’s American, the beer he’s used to practically IS water loll

Jane finds Weller in the locker room to apologise, which imo isn’t warranted, but whatever. And he says that she ‘did what she had to do’ and I LOVE that she corrects him and tells him that she did it bc she WANTED to? That’s right, girl, don’t let him alter your narrative to fit his views. And then he judges her about people she may or may not have killed/let die and dude. Duuuude. You’re being an assssss. Good thing Patterson has found some info on their bad guy. Sidenote, but I think the writers managed to slip in a subtle dig about gun control in there and I’m super impressed? Anyhow Patterson shows them the guy’s safehouses she found, which Jane is immediately able to narrow down to one based on her skills and her personal knowledge of the guy. Nice work, honey! And then they bust in there and oooh “this is for Paris”-- ok I need that backstory right now, please and thank you. We see some Korean guys in a car who have apparently already discovered that their contact is blown, but they apparently have an ace up their sleeve. Uh oh….

Oooh Zapata is ranting to Patterson about ‘Assistant Director Reade’ and man it’s weird hearing her use his title. Patterson tries to highlight things from his perspective (with another lil jab from Tasha about her app making it in there haha) and then tells her she might just need to figure out a new balance, likening it to her own ‘friends who hate each other’ thing with Stuart, and Zapata’s all ‘yeah no he definitely doesn’t know that that’s what you are’ and Patterson suddenly feels all bad. As you should, honey, coz you’ve been kinda mean to him this whole time. But aww she says she’ll be better and fix things and ugh I love seeing my babies listen to each other and work to improve themselves. Of course all her good intentions do kind of go out the window when she discovers that Stuart is back to using their processing power on his pet tattoo, and advances on him so suddenly that he literally knocks stuff off his desk in his haste to back away. Ugh the poor kid is terrified of her, despite being practically twice her height haha. She does make a good point that the nukes are all still live and the threat is far from neutralised, though. And lol she refers to the hacker as a he and the ProtechSat guy pipes up in the background “Or she!” and Patterson is all, “Exactly, women can be hackers too, Stuart!” and omg I shouldn’t laugh but the poor guy is so flustered rn and totally scared of her, and Zapata is in the background with her face in her hand hahahaha.

Oooh Reade comes in and diffuses the situation by being completely oblivious to it haha, just as he misses the sass Tasha directs his way. Then he goes in to interrogate the dude they caught and lol when he suggests he’s the hacker the dude is all “Do I look like a nerd?” Ouch man, didn’t you know anyone can be a hacker? Lol. And then “is that the good Korea, or the bad one?” okay I kinda like this guy haha, can we see more of him? Weller is definitely less impressed, taking the opportunity to shame Jane a little more for her past career choices, and dude you better get down off of that high horse before you FALL off of it. You’re hardly one with any right to be throwing stones here. But at she stands her ground, and he backs off a little. You go, Jane.

Oooh Reade is getting a pep talk from Hirst; she thinks he’s overcompensating now that the team is back. Well, that’s probably true. But on the other hand, certain members of his team (*cough* Weller *cough*) are also being prigs. Speaking of people who are being butts today, the bad dude (who is a butt) gets a visit from Jane (who has a nice butt) and there’s lots of sass being thrown around-- “I liked you better when you were unaffiliated” “Funny, I never liked you at all” hahaha yaaaassss my queeeeennnn. Oooh but hold on, he knew about her bounty? And didn’t act on it, due to a mysterious person called Clem telling him not to touch her. Wow, Clem must be powerful. They’re probably a dude, too, but just saying I have an Aunty Clem and though she’s a 5ft nutritionist with a pixie cut and giant glasses, I could totally see her as a mastermind/commander figure haha. I guess they already did the ‘Surprise! This character you’ve been hearing about is actually a woman!’ reveal with Shepherd tho. But anyhow based on Jane’s chat with her old work buddy, there may be a leak in the team-- and of course the first suspect is the ProtechSat guy who happens to be a POC. Original. It’s only when he has an alibi--- sidenote, why was he at the hospital overnight I really wanna know-- that anyone even remembers that oh yeah, he has a colleague who has also been there the whole time, and who they now know had the means to frame him. But I mean she’s a pretty white lady, so who could blame them for not suspecting her til now? (#me #Icould) Aaand now the innocent lil white lady just killed two poor dudes and is about to give the baddies the means to nuke the whole country. Good work, team.

Back by the bay, the beardy boys are bonding beautifully. Poor Aussie dude just really wants to make sure Roman isn’t a risk to himself-- but he doesn’t realise that he’s the one at risk. Roman deliberately targeted him, drugged him and is about to kill him. And ughhh the poor guy is all ‘I don’t wanna die’ and Roman seems to almost regret that he has to do it bc he seems to genuinely like him and duuuude just don’t do it! Don’t kill him! Be a better person!

The ProtechSat guy helped them figure out where the hacker chick is, which I’m super satisfied by bc the guy that they wrongly accused has now just helped save their asses. And Jeller are racing there, and Jane tells Weller she loves him, but it’s with a look of almost trepidation on her face, like when a dog thinks you’re mad at them so they’ll come up and lick your hand and try to be extra cute and lovable. At least Weller immediately says it back, then reassures her that he’s not mad at her, but at Roman for orchestrating all this, and tells her that they can’t let him drive them apart. Mmmm-hmmmm, this is the time when you mention that you ALSO have something to confess, boy! But nope, looks like we’re not free of the hypocrisy yet. Anyhow the team dashes into the building (awkwardly hiding their guns from all the kiddies), guided by Patterson to the planetarium where they find a dead Marcy. Also the voiceover narrating about asteroids and meteorites sounds very much like it’s an analogy for this show’s characters… meanwhile the team is suddenly being shot at, a (male or female, thanks guys) hacker is shutting down all the satellites, Patterson is yelling… it’s just like old times. And finally the team functions like old times, and Reade and Tasha manage to cover Jeller long enough for them to go and take out the hacker and his guards in a kickass lil showdown-- leaving them with two satellites playing Atlas and holding the whole thing together. Lol at Reade losing his comms and being like ‘So did we win or did we get nuked?’ haha. And then awwww the team’s all gathered back at the lab and Reade is giving a lil speech and I’m so proud of them. Also no drinking in the lab is a new rule-- I feel like this was somehow put in place because of Rich haha.

Aw, damn, Roman really killed him. Well, that sucks. But he needed his identity or whatever, so fine. But omg it’s hilarious watching Luke pretend to ‘learn’ how to speak with his own native accent haha. Also when are they going to explain the absence of the scar???

Oh boy. Weller is cooking tofu sticks, which is not going at all well, but it’s a sweet gesture. And yet again I kind of expect Jane to say she was joking about the whole vegan thing, idk why lol. But ugh he’s all ‘I’m trying so hard’ and I really do feel bad for him rn. He’s scared that bc there’s so much about her now that he wasn’t part of, that it will mean he’ll never really have her back or something. But um dude, literally everyone else in the world is with someone who has years of experiences that don’t include them?? Like with her memory wipe, her entire existence is pretty much only like 4 years long at this point, and she was with you for 2 and a half of those. Most people are with someone who lived twenty or more years before knowing them. So I suggest you reassess a bit here, buddy. But then again I know you’re only scared of losing her again, which is probably a fear you’ll carry forever (which as we know, is a situation I am displeased with the writers about). But ugh Jane basically suggests going out on a date which is cute, and Weller’s all ‘no go we’re broke’, and she’s all ‘well actually’ and shows him her giant stash’o’cash. And it’s one of those bittersweet moments bc yes she kept it from him but she was keeping it for an emergency, and had likely planned to tell him once she had realised how dire things had gotten financially. Thankfully Weller decides to focus on the positive, and well, they don’t make it to that date….

Awww Tasha shows up at Reade’s apartment and there’s sass and it’s cute and he apologises and then she’s all oooohhh you’re on a date?? But NO OMG he has a GIRLFRIEND and she looks VERY FAMILIAR and ooooohhhhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyy this is gonna get awkwardddddddddddd  

Meanwhile Patterson is repeatedly calling Stuart to try to apologise and explain her recent behaviour which I really approve of and appreciate, and ugh she tells him he’s good at his job and ugh she’s actually gone to his apartment to see him but oh shit the door is busted in and please tell me he just went back to the lab to work late please please please oh shit oh nooooooooooooooo. Stuarttttttttttttt!! Oh my baby this is so unfair, you deserved so much better….  (Also poor Patterson ugh)