#also that one girl's ocs bc i cannot get away from her no matter how hard i try :))

[margaritalaux-antille]

painstakingly transferring my filtered tags over to my new blog and half of it is like every terf tag i can think of and the other half is the pettiest shit imaginable

[frecklystars]

Hi, I need some help if anyone has advice or something. Or even just a “that’s rough buddy”

Last night I had one of the worst breakdowns I’ve had in a long time bc I saw a commission of my abuser with stsc. She commissions artists just about every single day of herself with TF characters, so I always avoid the tumblr search tags. Even non-TF artists I feel wary of bc it doesn’t matter, if you’re an artist and your comms are open, she will buy from you and it’s always her self insert/OC. I never look up self shipping or transformers or anything like that in the tumblr search. I never interact with anything she’s a part of. But this time I was simply searching up something entirely unrelated in a browser, and she just - she showed up. She fucking showed up! All of this time I take to be so careful, to limit my tumblr experience drastically just to protect myself, and yet I still see her. I cannot believe how easy it is to find my abuser floating around online because she commissions people every single day. I wasn’t even on tumblr and I still managed to see her. It was just… Google images. No keywords that could have possibly led to me seeing that, but she showed up as one of the first results in the images and I just. had the worst reaction ever. Understandably

It was her pink OC, and very long story I won’t bother you with, my abuser’s pink OC is the reason why the color pink became a cptsd trigger for me in 2022, and I was really struggling with that shit when it was fresh. Obviously I got better with it because uh, I’m a Barbie blog now, but I still have my bad days with it and I’ve never been fully okay with pink. I never feel fully “safe” around it. Which sucks. But I was at the point where I could tolerate it. Well, until now 😭 ugh

Seeing my abuser was already a big shock, obviously horrible. Seeing my abuser be lovey and soft with stsc was also really horrible. But seeing the pink and immediately my brain saying “oh look it’s pink, that’s dangerous, but maybe it’s Barbie pi— ohhh nooo, that’s your abuser, she’s right there!!! That’s her!!! In the pink!!! I told you pink was a trigger!!! You’re in danger now you’re gonna die!!!” makes me feel like I’ve gone backwards in my healing process and I’m afraid that’s irreversible. I know healing isn’t linear and I know setbacks are normal, but this feels different. It was Barbie pink, like the hot magenta color you see on the album cover? I feel sick typing this jfc. My abuser is now associated with Barbie pink in my brain. I don’t know how to fix this. It used to be more of a milky pink that would bother me bc THAT is what her OC color used to be, but now apparently she’s? Barbie pink???? And a paranoid part of me believes she might have changed it on purpose just to fuck with me because she knows I see her commissions everywhere I go, because one of our last conversations we ever had was her saying she was fully aware how much her own s/i was a trigger for me. This is so much worse bc now every time I see Barbie Pink I’m not gonna think of Barbie! I’m thinking of the person who nearly fucking killed me multiple times!

I was doing soo much better with my pink trigger. I associated pink with how safe and loved Barbie and Ken make me feel. The hot magenta Barbie Pink made me feel the safest because that’s LITERALLY Barbie pink. I would still get tense seeing it but then I’d immediately say to myself “that’s Barbie pink. That’s Barbies color. Barbie would never let my abuser come near me, because she’s a girls girl, and she’s smart, she would not allow herself to be manipulated, she’d keep me safe” etc etc. and I would almost immediately be totally fine with looking at the color, my tense feeling would melt away most of the time. i was doing so much better but now it’s like this is ruining all of my progress. My abuser’s main color now is Barbie pink and I feel really sick.

I’m extremely shaken up over not just seeing my abuser again, in a commission no less (which she’d often use against me, so seeing TF commissions of any sort give me bad reactions, hence why I don’t even look at TF fanart whatsoever even if I wasn’t triggered by the actual franchise) but also seeing the very Thing that turned pink into a trigger in the first place. I feel very hopeless bc I miss stsc but seeing him be romantic in a commission with my abuser, on top of the trauma associated with him just in general because of said abuser, makes me feel so impossible to reach him. So not only do I feel hopeless and miss my starlight so fucking badly, as I do everyday, but now I feel worse with the color pink. I don’t want this to ruin Barbie for me. I don’t want to be scared of the very thing that was helping me heal this far.

I don’t know how to fix this. I’m hoping I will eventually bounce back from this major trigger of seeing my abuser AND tf together, like this was a triple hit on me, had three major triggers in one image — I’m just hoping I’ll… move on?? And then maybe pink will go back to being tolerable again? But I’m scared it won’t. I’m scared I really cannot heal no matter what I try to do

Anyway idk what kind of advice I’m even asking for, maybe reassurance that it’s gonna be ok. Or something 😔 literally anything helps I don’t care WHAT it is, if anyone can spare something nice in my inbox or the replies, I will super appreciate it

[cinnaminsvga]

zee. im just thinking. do you perhaps… remember…. that pirate yoongi fic you wanted to do? zee, the way it still has my whole heart. im not even pushing you to write it or anything i just want you to remember. the idea is a masterpiece zee, yoongi yearning for waitress yn in the inmese vast sea…. zee i can hear the waves and birds and the bustling bar and yoongi’s heartbeat when he sees her for the first time after months….. how hoseok knows whats going on and kinda everyone knows but hes his captain and as intimidating and powerful he comes off to everyone else he knows how awkward matters of the heart are for him, hes so quiet that its painful to see him so in love and unable to do shit about it, i can see yn smile being so bright and how she thinks yoongi is as handsome as ever, as charming and effortless charismatic, how he grabs everyone’s attention but is maybe too intimidating for anyone to actually go and interact to him and how the stares bother him, how it makes him itch to go run for the sea and sail far far away to places no one knows about and people so different and stuff so marvellous she cant even imagine, so shes just nice to him. what can she do? she cant compare to the inmense beauty of the world, shes just a girl he used to know, just the past, so she’s just nice to him. but she hopes that maybe, maybe she’s just nice enough for him to feel a bit at home. a bit at ease. and everyone keep telling her he’s here for her but they are just teasing. hoseok is just pushing it, and seokjin is an asshole, and jungkook just loves the drama. it cannot be. so she’s just nice, never desperate nice, never please stay nice, even though she’s dying to beg, so she doesnt stay long, just to make sure, and yoongi watches her leave with both regret and relief cause her presence is so overwhelming and hes already used to the yearning but by god he loves that woman and just wants a second more, of calm, of making sure she’s still everything she dreams of at the sea, and UGH ZEE its too good, im so grateful you thought about this.

THE WAY I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT PIRATE YOONGI BC I WAS GOING THROUGH MY OLD WIP TAG ON MY BLOG LMAOOOO

"how it makes him itch to go run for the sea and sail far far away to places no one knows about and people so different and stuff so marvellous she cant even imagine, so shes just nice to him" <- do you know how much this kills me. like you get it, anon. YOU GET ME!!!

I AM GRABBING YOU BY THE SHOULDERS. YOU GET HIM FR DAWG!!! THE FUCKING YEARNINGADKNGKSDJVD but oh GOD how they refuse to let themselves yearn bc they see each other as Untouchable but for totally different reasons.

"never please stay nice" is such a perfect description for pirate!yoongi's oc. like you get it. YOU GET IT. I THINK IM GOING THROW UP FROM HOW MUCH YOU GET IT!!!!!

and the worst part is that they can have each other sooooo easily. like nothing is keeping oc back home, and despite what yoongi and oc may think, nothing is keeping yoongi at sea either. they're both stubborn but out of selflessness bc they'd never be the reason either of them were the cause of regret.

they are literally "love me if you wish but please don't let me be the reason you give up being yourself" but then also "oh but my love i am not myself without you" AND IT TEARS ME APARTSDKFKSDKCS

head in hands, anon. head in my motherfucking hands.

[nerice]

🌹🌼💐🌵☁️ for Avery

☀️🍁🌲🌈 for G*** and Reina

OOOOO HECK YES LETSGO

// btw im still doing these plsss theyre so fun!!

avery edition!! i say and then realize i must answer these spoiler-free oh no!!!! :')

🌹 what’s this oc’s biggest fear

terrified of her past catching up to her!!!! there's a reason she's hiding out in an abandoned house in the woods and uses a fake name for half the story and is extremely hostile towards strangers anyone that's not lucie :3 a fear that only gets compounded after tracking the main group to ensei & realizing that on top of her own past, garvith's past is also out for her blood now. downsides to harboring a war criminal god in ur body i suppose lol

🌼 what’s your favorite thing about this oc?

teen anger personified !! extremely fun to write an oc that will jump people and go for their throats at the slightest provocation and has zero qualms or bad conscience abt it. feral teeth girl Fun :3

💐 where is this oc’s favorite place to relax?

secret inner mind sanctum/the mindspace she shares with garvith (that is. ironically the ruins of nerice but it's too dark to tell for most of the story uwu) spends a lot of time spaced out resting there in body mind and soul until garvith reminds her of a nearby Presence (lucie who's been snapping her fingers in front of avery's face for the past minute) a. recuperating from A Lot Of Shit by lying on top of garvith's massive serpent body and listening to his heart beat, she could almost mistake it for her own :)

🌵 how does this oc feel about physical affection?

exactly as this emoji implies>>>>🌵<<<<< LOL she's ok with lucie hugging her and dragging her around but everyone else is at bite risk. it is partly due to her body issues and she comes around on some forms of affection (kissing, mostly, is fun it turns out) but remains quick to slip away or choose violence at a moment's notice rip

☁️ what is this oc’s clothing style like?

Oh lol has exactly one (1) style and that's wide, faded print shirts over shorts and the most fucked up sneakers you've ever seen. + the embroidered jacket lucie bought her :3>

//

no matter how much time passes avery is still my first ever fave oc at heart..... prince<3..... rest under the cut bc length babey

im gonna answer the r/g ones in conjunction bc it's what they deserve lol

☀️ does this oc make good or bad first impressions?

reina obv makes jawdropping first impressions. first true ruler the maker and god of everything and even if you don't know you can tell. regal aura that cannot be denied but depending on your disposition towards her, that part may make a terrible impression (-->JUMIE...)

NOW OTOH. you'd think gray makes terrible first impressions HOWEVER!!!!! black swan times play pretend is REAL and most times, he comes across as perfectly normal :3> knows to be nice and charming and play up his charisma & most of all has learned that people are more likely to leave you alone if you are casual abt meeting them instead of outwardly antagonistic, bc that's usually how he ends up in fights. linn always has a field day watching others fall for his social persona & loves to interrupt and make it harder on him. && rly at the end of the day, it, like everything else, comes down to his whims. catch him in a bad mood and you get exactly what you'd expect from a guy looking like he was run over by a truck 2 minutes ago

🍁 what’s this oc’s favorite genre of movies/tv shows/books/etc?

oh evil overlap here :3 reina is highly invested in anything luxurious i.e. high society theater, stage performances, etc. it captivates her but usually it's the surrounding vibes rather than the content so the actual genre does not matter at all. gray is :) much the same in which he rly only takes to reading & read he does, copious amounts of books, to take his mind off things (the pain) but he doesn't give a shit abt what the books are about. extremely offputting habit of picking up random books and start reading somewhere in the middle and abandoning them before he ever reaches the conclusion lol

🌲 what is this oc’s greatest strength and weakness?

for reina they go hand in hand and it's her damned martyr complex :') the ability to give her life and song for those she loves and the world and who/whatever else she thinks she owes.. + in conjunction with her (fading) immortality leading to worse and worse situations where she scrapes by death closer and closer. exemplified best by deciding that killing gray is her responsibility bc she tore a hole in the moons and created soulless & almost dying to the burn wounds he inflicts on her :)🔪

(DOING THEM TOGETHER IS EXTREMELY FUN HELLO)

gray's greatest strength is the fact that he is unkillable so we all have to put up with him. his biggest weakness is that he is a self-pitying pathetic loser who refuses to take responsibility for anything he's ever done (fair. but like why does he have to make it everyone else's problem h)

🌈 what does this oc like and dislike about themselves?

m. it's not so much like and dislike with reina bc of the ✨truckload of existential pressure✨ from being the first true ruler. she hates that she only ever makes mistakes, her inability to bring peace and build a better future for those she loves, how powerless she is despite being all-powerful. and.. 'like' might be the wrong word, but she is incredibly conceited abt her looks (RIGHTFULLY ma'am.. ) impeccable hair game is one of her main points of pride. which is why it sucks extra bad when she has to shave it all off post-burn wound and it never quite grows back in the same way. :^)

gray externalizes literally all his problems and emotions. if he likes anything about himself then it is Being With Linnea, and he fucking loathes being soulless. ✨suffer asshole✨

[gallickingun]

I saw your list of WIPs and my body is ready for the Bakugou ones 😍 can you drop a crumb of what they’ll be about? Especially the fantasy one? Fantasy Bakugou is my favorite 👉👈🥺

ive missed writing for kacchan so much 😭 i have so so so many ideas for him, so i hope you guys enjoy the ao3 content 💗 but so far as my current wips, here's some info!

also shameless plug and lil reminder all these stories will be posted to my AO3 which can be found by clicking this text!

♡ bakugou x belle (oc) : origin story - belle and bakugou are like passing ships in the night for most of their early lives — always barely grazing sails, never boarding onto one anothers deck — until bakugou has a public media snafu and is required by his agency to perform public service hours to make up for his bad behavior. he meets the now-doctor and realizes there's a lot more to her than meets the eye. however, she has a general disdain for heroes after what she's been through (being forced to use her quirk despite not knowing how to control it, all for "the sake of saving others") and what she's seen (hero after hero break their bones and shatter their spirits in the name of justice, only to be cast aside when they no longer provide enough entertainment value to be leveraged for the lining of the pockets of those in charge), when all bakugou knows is striving to be the number one hero. aka I suck at summaries but I promise this fic is gonna be real good.

♡ vigilante!shouto aka todobats — after losing shouto's father and brothers in a kidnapping gone wrong, shouto's mother is labeled clinically insane and his sister runs away to europe to pursue her dreams and escape reality. shouto is the only eligible heir remaining to run the enterprise his father built before his death. the media sees him as the rich playboy he proves himself to be during the day, but what they do not see is the way he cares for the city once the sun goes down and the stars come out. when he meets the charity organization's president (reader), he's surprised to find that the corruption of his city may bleed closer to home than he originally believed.

♡ fantasy!bakugou + arranged marriage — after your father angered a wizard, there was a dual curse set on your head, the threat of your kingdom's demise looming in the shadows that settle on your shoulders. the curse is that you would be expected to fall in love by your twenty second birthday, and that you would be given the gift of persuasion. the catch? you are unable to use your gift to trap a life mate. prince bakugou katsuki of the dragon nation was the only eligible prince remaining, and so your game of lies begins. your father arranges the marriage, and you are expected to seduce the prince. however, the two of you decide that the only way to win over the wizard is to trick him — by convincing the entire kingdom you're madly in love. (again WOW i suck at summaries i promise the fic will be good lol, lots of plot twists involving bakugous mother and kirishima and wizards and quirks and.. yeah)

♡ moving target part two [bakugou bodyguard au] —bakugou has returned to life as a pro hero, with a personal side mission to teach you how to use your quirk [control over organic matter]. now that its been exposed to the world that one of the most famous quirkless men has a daughter with a power that can kill, there is a new gang after your head. navigating a new relationship, learning how to control a power you've never used, and running from the underground can be a lot for a girl who might have been considered a princess not more than a few months ago. oh, however will you cope.

♡ soft!sakusa fic — you have been telling all your friends about the man you've been seeing for the past few months, and they can't wait to meet him. you tell them he's kind and patient and complimentary and he cannot get enough of you, handsy as he can be. so imagine their surprise when you introduce sakusa kiyoomi, a man they know as cold and calculating and aloof. this man and the man you've described could never be the same! (aka a cute fic about sakusa being soft for you and standoffish for everyone else)

♡ sakusa autumn nights fic - fake dating au + there was only one bed + meet the parents — sakusa meets you one night when he's out at a party with his msby teammates. he's confused, but smitten with you, and when his mother badgers him for what feels like the millionth time about a girlfriend, he accidentally blurts that he's dating you. somehow he gets roped into bringing you to dinner, but... he's gotta get your number first.

♡ mob au + pro athlete!oikawa x con-artist!reader — you have only ever known how to be a thief. its how you've found yourself a home in this argentinian casino every saturday night, scheming and cheating and lying just to feed your greed. and those whom you owe money to. so you do not expect the kindness of the pro athlete you know to be oikawa tooru, but that does not stop you from draining him of every last peso to his name. his flashy rings and watches and suit all show you exactly what you need to know- that he has money, and he's careless with it. the car he drives says as much. but after finding him at the casino every weekend, you grow fond of him, and its no longer a game of dollar signs, but one of hearts and souls. so when there is a hit placed on your head by the mob who owns the casino, you have to come clean to oikawa in hopes that he will understand your predicament.

♡ farmboy!kirishima — your typical hallmark movie. no ingenuity at all lol. but you are the daughter of a ceo tycoon in nyc, and all your daddy wants to do is buy up small towns and commercialize them for profit, to make them look picture perfect like a snowglobe. you are his number one real estate agent, and he sends you on a mission to buy up a small town a few hours away. when you meet the townsfolk, including the man who owns the farm that puts the food on the table for most of the residents, can he change your outlook on small towns versus the big city?

♡ college sports au series - bakugou, todoroki, midoriya, denki, kirishima, sero, dabi, etc. — a series of x reader one shots where the boys are college athletes! baseball bakugou, soccer shouto, football kirishima, etc!

♡ single dad!bakugou x kindergarten teacher!reader — when bakugou is left to care for his daughter alone, kirishima suggests hiring a caretaker to help him out. after much persuasion, and his daughter latching onto you at first meeting, he hires you for the summer while you're between school years and can use the extra cash. you move in, and the rest is chaos. [ft. emotionally stunted bakugou who believes love is for losers because his last relationship ended in fire and procreation, but you manage to teach him that life doesn't have to be as awful as he believes] aka a spin off of my single dad shouto fic! might continue to add more single dads and make this one a series too!!

there are other fics, but those are the main ones! also check my kinktober fics list bc i will be adding all of those to AO3 as i write them as well! 💗

[tanoraqui]

AU: Hányǐng-jūn

(”Shadowbearing Lord”, translation by @lyratalus)

(see, this is my problem. I decide, “yes, damnit, I AM going to write this longfic!” and then 0.0003 seconds later I’m absolutely swarmed by other plot bunnies.)

anyway, Yiling Patriarch!Lan Wangji but, like...better

Lan Wangji gets out of seclusion and 3 days later takes a mostly sleeping Lan Yuan, a couple days' worth of provisions, and leaves for Yiling. Lan Xichen somehow catches him just outside of Cloud Recesses and LWJ freely admits that he's going to Yiling - the city, not the Burial Mounds themselves - and he's going to raise A-Yuan there and cleanse the Burial Mounds like Wei Wuxian was starting to do with the life he brought back to them

Lan Xichen lets him go, doesn't even bother to play the "shouldn't A-Yuan grow up somewhere healthier and wealthier" card, bc a) cheap shot, b) he knows Wangji has already thought of it (he's right), and c) this is doing NOTHING to convince him that his brother won't commit some sort of passive suicide if he doesn't get to keep that child. God damn, he thought they were over this phase of mourning but Apparently Not

so Lan Wangji gets a house in Yiling, has to deal with 50 tons of gossip - of a new variety; he's used to political gossip and "isn't he hot" gossip but wow he was not prepared for small town "ooh new hot single dad" gossip with a side order of random advice from elderly women about how to care for a six-year-old

(he is, in fact, very grateful for the advice)

(there is no way in hell that Lan Wangji knows how to be the sole provider for a six-year-old)

in the internal war between "do not let A-Yuan out of my sight" and "do not take the vulnerable child to the death mountain", I think the former wins, considering the small child already lived on the death mountain for about a year, and seemed fine except for malnutrition. Which was...well, yes it was a problem with the death mountain, but not directly. Lan Wangji has money and they live in town and commute to the Burial Mounds each day for LWJ to play Cleansing while A-Yuan runs around catching imaginary butterflies or practicing reading; it's fine

...though possibly the nosy grannies convince him to get a babysitter

and maybe to take a break?

oh no i would want so many OCs of just Lan Wangji's neighbors in this

anyway, it doesn't take long for it to become clear that even playing Cleansing all day every day is like being a bird scraping its beak once a millennia on a mountain. Sure it works, technically, but...not really. Frankly, the resentful energy grows back if he stops for a single day. And even Hanguang-jun only has so much power and endurance

he's going to have to handle the resentful energy himself. If he wants to do this, wants to leave some sort of positive legacy for Wei Wuxian, he's going to have to demonically cultivate himself. Siphon the stuff off, and do...something with it. It won't just vanish. Subdue corpses and monsters, probably? Go back to night-hunting?

I dunno how or how fast word gets out, but I guarantee you Jiang Cheng is the first person of note to hear about it and come furiously flying. The fight that follows is raw and possibly literally bloody, and 99.99% about Wei Wuxian (of course.) I think the only reason it stops is that even though they took it outside, A-Yuan wakes up (as does most of the neighborhood) and pokes his head out the window to ask what's going on, and Jiang Cheng puts two and two together with the kid he saw when he visited to disown Wei Wuxian and- 

He can't quite bear to destroy something even halfway adjacent to family He wants Wei Wuxian to have a slightly good legacy, too He storms off.

the only reason he doesn't pass Lan Xichen in the air is that they aren't quite coming from the same direction. This night is becoming very long but Lan Wangji is happy to explain himself to his brother: the careful methods he's started to use, never very much resentful energy at once, and the careful checks he has on himself, meditation and Cleansing and purification rituals. Lan Xichen isn't happy, but he has to concede that it all seems sound, and the goal is certainly a righteous one, and...there are worse ways to mourn

so when an emergency sect leader cultivation conference is called, because the news that Hanguang-jun has not only moved to Yiling but started practicing demonic cultivation has spread like wildfire, Lan Xichen calmly stands forward and defends his brother, states that Lan Wangji is working on noble goals with careful precautions and the full support of GusuLan, he can confirm it himself as Sect Leader but of course any who wish are welcome to visit Yiling as well and judge Hanguang-jun's precautions for themselves.

I cannot put in words how close Jiang Cheng comes to punching him in the face

So that’s what happens: people visit, see what careful measures Lan Wangji has in place, and are convinc- ha ha lol no it’s politics. But it works out. i wish I could say that it's some sort of tie between who Jiang Cheng hates most: Wei Wuxian for everything, but particularly for not even bothering to try to make it safe like LWJ clearly is; Lan Wangji for thinking he can just get away with this shit; Lan Xichen for helping him do it; everyone else for going along with it when they couldn't give Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng and YunmengJiang a single shred of goodwill; or himself for not standing up for either Wei Wuxian (a la Lan Wangji, however post-mortem)/his brother (like LXC)

but we all know it's nowhere near a tie

so...Lan Wangji doesn't plan to teach Lan Yuan (he's still a Lan! They're both still Lans!) any sort of demonic cultivation, but no matter what he does there's still So Much Dangerous Stuff around here, and they have no backup nearby, and demonic cultivation is just so much easier for those without a well-developed golden core yet -

so he teaches him, you know, some basic chords to make a ghost or corpse go the fuck away

(to start)

UNFORTUNATELY I'm pretty sure the timing is such that the Yi City Affair happened mostly while LWJ was in seclusion? Or at least, the start of it, such that the finding of Xue Yang by the side of the road happened either shortly before or shortly after he got out (and, in this case, went to Yiling)

and they have no reason to visit Yiling, so...all that...plays out. as in canon

no reason to visit Yiling, that is, until Xue Yang is sitting on the floor of the coffin house clutching a bag containing the shards of Xiao Xingchen's soul and feeling something like remorse for the first time in his life and he HATES it, he hates it SO GODDAMN MUCH, he wants to burn everyone who contributed to this to the ground and then torment their ghosts for centuries

so, he might then visit Yiling and the man said to be some sort of inheritor of the Yiling Patriarch's power. He almost certainly tries to play nice and helpless, just a good young man who made bad choices and lost his friend, and Lan Wangji probably tries to give him the benefit of the doubt and...yeah that does not last long.

especially if A-Qing has anything to say mime about it

Xue Yang has a fierce corpse on call and the won't-stay-down attitude of a feral weasel on crack who hates you personally, but Lan Wangji has a the home court advantage, including extensive practice siphoning and applying power from the Burial Mounds, and he's fucking Hanguang-jun.

Result: Lan Sizhui gets a sad fierce corpse uncle and a cheerfully-refusing-to-pass-on ghost-jie

HARD CUT uh...10? Ish? Years later? Wei Wuxian aka Mo Xuanyu is quickly giving up the idea of subtle launching fierce corpses at this hand bc at this point it's either out himself or people die, and the latter is not acceptable. He's just about to whistle them in when a ghost whips in and probably saves someone's life by knocking them out of the way. One of the Lan babies shrieks and hides behind another one - but a third points excitedly to the sky and shouts, "Oh, it's Lan Sizhui! Sizhui, over here!"

and who should descend by sword but one Nice Young Man(TM) with a guqin that he plays while switching effortlessly back and forth between spiritual and resentful energy, which, damn, Wei Wuxian didn't even know that was an option. I mean, it wasn't, for him, but...damn! What a clever kid! Did someone teach him?!

oh yeah, imminent danger of death by angry left hand -

Wei Wuxian does have to openly intervene, or at least, obviously intervene by fierce corpse and shouting some instructions at the kids, and then letting this Sizhui kid take the credit for the fierce corpses and trying to book it but, uh...getting caught. By aforementioned Sizhui kid. Who is polite and formal and, Wei Wuxian points out, extremely un-GusuLan-like, what with the bothering him and also the demonic cultivation. There's probably still the ghost of a teenage girl following them and making rude gestures at Wei Wuxian for insulting her little brother

"That's because I'm from the Yiling branch," Lan Sizhui admits, a little shame-facedly except that it's definitely fake shame. 

"Hmm?" says Wei Wuxian, like he knows what that means but is curious for more information (as opposed to have no goddamn idea what that means and desperately wanting more information)

"I, ah, study with Hanying-jun" says Lan Sizhui, who doesn't want to make a big deal out of his parentage. 

"Hmm?" says Wei Wuxian, who is fucking Dying here "I thought I might escort you home with me, so you can get properly cleansed after manipulating those corpses. One must be careful, of course." He sighs in a slightly teenagerish way. "It'll take most of a day, probably, after that arm. I try to use only spiritual energy on night hunts, but that was...pretty bad." 

Wei Wuxian, internally: okay, CONS: getting spiritually cleaned by Lans, even possibly Cool Lans - ugh, why are Lans always like this. PROS: finding out who the fuck this "Hanying-jun” is, bc...what the fuck. In Yiling? Is he stealing MY schtick?? And I can't just ASK, because clearly this kid expects me to recognize the title, which means Mo Xuanyu would probably recognize the title, and even a Lan who practices some sort of resentful energy manipulation isn't just going to be okay with suddenly meeting the Yiling Patriarch...And i can always run if I have to. 

WWX: I mean...okay! I don't have anything else to do!

except they do detour to Dafan Mountain a little because Lan Sizhui wasn't raised quite Lan enough to beat out the rebellious teenager streak and he wants to fight a big monster, and Jiang Cheng nearly fucking draws Zidian on sight bc he really. Hates. The Yiling Lans. And then Lan Wangji shows up just bc he heard about a ruckus and figured it was a good place to find his son

and then goddess statue, Wen Ning, terrible bamboo flute...

it's definitely not 'til after Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng have started and maybe finished fighting before Wie Wuxian finds out that the mysterious bastard who totally stole his spot as Dark Lord of Yiling is Hanguang-jun

or, you know...different title now

apparently

and then LWJ takes him and orders him bathed and - wait actually if they've developed elaborate formal spiritual purification rituals to balance handing resentful energy, he. he probably does order Wei Wuxian bathed

and then brought to his room

oh wow

beautiful

AND THEN PLOT RESUMES AS NORMAL?!? except possibly several questions of romance and Lan Sizhui's history get cleared up much faster 

also Lan Wangji - Hanying-jun - doesn’t have as peerless a reputation to trade on. Public opinion is probably fairly split between camps of, like, “he’s doing a good and noble thing, cleaning the Burial Mounds” vs. “the Lans say it’s okay so it must be, but wow that seems dangerous and/or useless” vs. “demonic cultivation is always eeeevil!” Among cultivators specifically, it’s more the first two, but...performatively more the first, genuinely more the second.

[just-my-sickly-pride]

Swansong || Roger Taylor x fem!Reader

summary || sequel to ‘debut’. it’s sixteen years after you and roger first started dating. fourteen years since you graduated university. eight years since you married someone else. three weeks since you realised your husband was cheating on you. what are the chances that you run into roger, after all this time?

rating || family friendly, folks, apart from a few swear words here and there. just angst. pure angst, basically. with a christmassy, festive vibe.

word count || 5.8k (somehow, for fuck’s sake)

author’s notes || so, i’ve had quite a few people ask about a ‘debut’ sequel. surprise! here’s the sequel that i’m sure none of you were after. the idea just popped into my head and, despite the fact that i do not like reading angst (or writing, generally), here i am. also, this is a much older roger than i normally write for (he’s 52 in this), but i still wouldn’t call it pd roger by any means. this video is what i pictured when i was writing him - he was actually 52 years old in 1999, so it works perfectly. roger talks about his kids in this fic, but bc this is an alternate universe, of course, i’ve not used the names of his real kids. (sidenote: there’s an oc in here whose name is naoise - it’s pronounced ‘neesha’!)

masterlist

     “I can’t do this anymore. I have to break up with him right now. I have to.”

    Justine grabs your wrist, snatching your phone from your hand. “No, are you serious? What are you going to do, break up with him over the phone? Text him?”

    Your bottom lip trembles, and you feel tears well in your eyes. “I can’t deal with this anymore, Juss. He hates me.”

    “He doesn’t hate you.” Justine sets your phone down on the table, and cups your cheeks in her hands, brushing the tears away with her thumbs. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. Deep breath. In and out. With me.”

    You follow her lead – a shaky breath in, a shaky breath out.

    “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” she murmurs. “I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, especially not my best friend. But you have to hold it together until after Christmas, okay? Just two more weeks. For April.”

    You nod, and take another steady breath. “For April.” April, your daughter, the love of your life.

    “Let’s just go to this stupid party, all right?” Justine said. “Go fix your make-up, I’ll call an Uber.”

    You nod, she gives you a warm, sad smile, and you head to the bathroom.

    You take a drink of water and sigh heavily, then dig out your make-up to fix your foundation and mascara. Fuck him, you think to yourself. Fuck him for ruining everything. Eight years of marriage. Hope that side piece was worth it.

    You’re not sure if he knows that you know about… all of that. But you have your suspicions. He’s not exactly trying to hide it. Coming home late, smelling of another woman’s perfume, having no other excuse other than he’s ‘working late’. He’s been telling you for weeks that he’s just been ‘too tired’ for sex.

    But he’s with April tonight, while you and Justine are heading to the Christmas party of an old friend from uni.

    You tell yourself it’ll be a fun night. It’ll be nice to get away from home for a few hours, anyway.

    The host, Naoise, welcomes the both of you with a glamorous smile and kisses on the cheek, and waves you over with a manicured hand to the drinks table. You recognise a few familiar faces in the room, but you and Justine stick mostly together. Christmas music – mostly Michael Bublé, from what you can hear – croons in the background, just underneath the hum of conversation.

    “She was always good at throwing these things, wasn’t she?” Justine murmurs into her glass of champagne.

    You nod and hum in agreement, trying to surreptitiously cram an appetiser into your mouth and eat it as quickly as possible. “Nice of her to invite us,” you manage to mumble around the mouthful.

    “Yeah,” Justine says. “Naoise was always lovely.”

    “Have you met her kids?”

    “Yeah. She had them young, didn’t she? Right out of uni? They’re, what, ten and twelve now?”

    You finally swallow the food. “Christ.” You pick up your wine and take a gulp to wash it down. “Uh, yeah, I think so. She and Chin got married, like, a month after we graduated or something. Can you imagine April being that old?”

    Justine snorts. “I thought I had my kids young. But she seems happy, so I’m happy for her.”

    “Mm, yeah.” You take another sip of wine. “Wow. Getting married at, like, twenty-one, twenty-two. Oof.”

    “Right?” Justine says lowly. “Like, I would’ve been terrified. I was dating Amanda.”

    Your eyes widen. “Holy shit, Amanda. I forgot all about her.”

    “I know! I can’t believe we dated for almost three years. Even I forget about her sometimes. Can’t imagine being married to her. Eugh. Plus, if Amanda hadn’t dumped me six months after graduation, then I never would’ve met Jules. I wouldn’t have the kids I have now.”

    “Weird.”

    “Yeah. Weird.” Justine’s eyes idly meander over the mingling crowd, and then she looks to you. “Out of everyone you dated at uni, who would you have married? If you had to choose.”

    You sigh. “Juss, I don’t know if I wanna talk about marriage and stuff right now. Not marriage when it’s got anything to do with me, anyway.”

    “Right, of course. Sorry.”

    “It’s fine.” You give her a reassuring smile.

    The two of you drink in silence. You know you should be mingling with everyone else, making small talk, but it’s been a rough couple of weeks, to put it lightly. And everyone will be asking how’s Will? and all of those casual questions and you’ll feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable and bitter that everyone is prying into your personal life, even if they aren’t, they’re just being polite, and that’s just too much to think about.

    So staying by the snacks table it is.

    “Roger,” you say softly.

    “Hm?”

    You chew on the inside of your cheek, and glance at Justine. “I, um– I would’ve married Roger. You remember him? Second year? The older guy?”

    Justine gives you a look. “Uh, do I remember him? The guy who was, like, twenty years older than you and you lost your virginity to? He paid you for it? Yes, I remember him.”

    “Sixteen years, thanks,” you correct her. “And he didn’t mean to pay me for it, it was a mix-up, his friends set him up, and– oh, whatever, you know the story, I don’t know why I’m telling you again.”

    “I’m just saying, hard to forget something like that,” Justine says. “You would’ve married him?”

    You nod. “Given time, yeah, I think so. There was just something about him, y’know? I mean, it makes sense why we didn’t work out. He was older, and I had uni, and I’d never really dated before, all of that. I think it was just a matter of wrong place, wrong time. But he’s – well, everyone has their ‘one that got away’, don’t they?”

    “I guess,” Justine says. She thinks for a moment, and then says, “I used to think mine was the girl I dated all through high school, Kayla. Then I met Jules.”

    “Really?” you say. “You don’t have anyone who you think would have been your perfect match, had things just been a little different?”

    Justine shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe at the time. But not now.”

    You look away, and finish the rest of your wine. “I’m getting another glass,” you mutter.

    “Hey, hey, [Y/N],” Justine says, taking your wrist. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”

    You shake your head. “It’s not your fault.” You hesitate, and then say, “Am I a bad wife for– for thinking that? Even after Will and I got married, I– I mean, I never wished I had Roger instead of Will, but I just always knew that, if things had been different, then I know I would’ve ended up with Roger.”

    “No,” Justine says firmly. “No. You were never a bad wife. You’re still not. Don’t ever think that.”

    You take a moment to drink this in, and then say, “You know, I’m the same age now that Roger was when I first started dating him?” You let out a laugh. “Oh my God, I’m thirty-six. When the fuck did that happen?”

    Justine chuckles. “I know. I still feel twenty.”

    “I still feel seventeen, sometimes.”

    “I don’t think that ever changes.”

    “No, maybe not.” You twirl the empty wine glass in your fingers. “I was head-over-heels for that guy.”

    “For Roger?”

    “Yeah.”

    “Yeah, I could tell,” Justine says with a grin. “I always thought it was just because the sex was really good. And he had the money to buy you nice stuff.”

    “All of that helped,” you say lightly, and Justine laughs. “But he was just such a good guy as well. He was such a good listener, and he was so thoughtful and patient and understanding, and, I don’t know if you remember, but he used to do this thing where he’d invite me over if I’d had a hard day at uni, and when I arrived, he’d have a bubble bath all ready for me, and some snacks, and he just…” You trail away. No point in getting too caught up in the memories.

    “I always liked him,” Justine says. “After I got over the age gap. For what it’s worth, I think he really liked you, too.”

    You nod. “Yeah, I think he did.” You sigh. “Well. No use thinking it over, is there? Doubt I’ll ever see him again.”

    Justine freezes, her eyes like dinner plates.

    “Juss?” you say. “What, what is it?”

    “No fucking way,” she murmurs. Her eyes flick to yours, and she grabs your wrist again, her grip tight. “You’re not going to believe this. I cannot believe this is happening. Turn around.”

    “What?” You turn around, and your jaw drops to the floor.

    Talk about speak of the Devil.

    He’s older, definitely. How old would he be now? Fifty-two.

    You wouldn’t have picked it. You would’ve guessed maybe mid-forties. But he always did have a bit of a younger face.

    “Am I dreaming?” you say. “Am I actually dreaming?”

    “What are the goddamn chances,” Justine says incredulously.

    You watch as Roger greets Naoise, and then her husband Chin. By the way Chin beams, you guess Roger was his invite.

    “Go say hello,” Justine hisses, nudging you.

    You whirl around to look at her. “Are you out of your mind?” you hiss back. “I haven’t seen him for, like, sixteen years!”

    “Then you’ll have so much to catch up on.”

    “He wouldn’t even remember me. We only dated for less than a year.”

    “Don’t be like that. You’re as hard to forget as he is. I’m sure he’ll remember forking over three months’ wages to sleep with y–”

    “Jesus Christ, Justine, can you give it a rest already?”

    Justine tries to smother a smile. “Sorry.”

    You shake your head. “No, it’s too weird. Especially in light of everything, and this whole conversation, it’s… No. Maybe later, but not now.”

    “Maybe it’s fate, or something.”

    “Don’t,” you say, your voice hard. “I’m gonna get another drink.”

    You leave Justine at the snack table.

    You’re just deciding whether to stick to wine or to switch to champagne when a shocking familiar voice says behind you, “Good God, [Y/N]?”

    Hearing him say your name again really is like something out of a dream – like a memory come to life. You turn to him, and, inexplicably, feel a blush heat your cheeks. You have no idea what to say, so you just say, “Roger?” as if you hadn’t already known he was here.

    Up close, you can tell more easily that he’s aged. But he still smells good – different, but good – and he’s dressed nicely.

    Still not wearing glasses, though. He never did. You used to pester him all the time about it when you dated.

    There’s a moment of awkwardness, but both of you go in for a brief hug. It’s weird. You shouldn’t have gone for the hug.

    “My God, it’s been how long?” Roger says with a laugh. “Fifteen years or something?”

    “Something like that, yeah,” you say.

    “You look great.”

    “Thanks. So do you.” 

    “Oh, don’t,” Roger says, waving a hand dismissively. “I’m actually old now, I know.”

    “No, you do,” you insist. “Look good, I mean. Genuinely.”

    His outfit is simple, black-and-white, which almost surprises you. He used to dress a little more eclectically; there was always something patterned or brightly coloured in just about every outfit he wore, especially to parties. Maybe it’s something he’s outgrown. The thought makes you quietly sad.

    He does have a little reindeer pin on his lapel, though. It looks handmade, like something he would have bought at a market, made out of mini pom-poms and tufts of tinsel. So maybe he hasn’t outgrown that part of him entirely.

    He seems a little flustered by your compliment, and, yep, that’s the Roger you remember. “Well, er, thank you. And I meant it too, of course.”

    “Thank you.” An unmistakably awkward moment passes, and you blurt out, “You– How are you? What brings you here?”

    “Funny story, actually.” Roger ducks forward and grabs a glass of red, and you take the opportunity to take some champagne. “I, uh, decided I hated dentistry, so I went back to uni and studied biology instead. Wanted to become a professor, but I was already thirty-seven when I started, and I would’ve had to retire by the time I got my PhD. I’m a teacher these days, high school teacher. Chin just started working with me earlier this year, and we hit it off, I suppose.”

    You blink in surprise. “A biology teacher?”

    Roger chuckles. “Yes, I know. My friends were all shocked and appalled when I told them. The salary’s miserable in comparison, but I don’t hate my life when I wake up in the mornings, so I see that as a positive.”

    You hesitate, unsure whether to ask, but go for it anyway. “Did you always hate being a dentist? I don’t…” Is this too far? Is this out of line? “I mean, well, I don’t remember you hating it that much.”

    Roger drinks this in, and then nods to himself. “Right, yeah,” he says, sounding almost surprised. “I, um, never really told you, actually. I didn’t want to, uh, force you to listen to me whine about a job I hated while you were studying and all of that.”

    “Oh,” you say. You look at your champagne. You should’ve stuck to wine.“Well, for what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have minded. At all. As I remember, I used to whine about university all the time.”

    “University’s for whining,” Roger says with a shrug. “I’d done my fair share of that already, all through dentistry school. And I got to do it again, as it turned out.”

    “Is there, ah, anything else you didn’t tell me while we were dating?” you joke half-heartedly.

    Roger’s eyebrows raise. “Oh, I–”

    “No, sorry, I was kidding,” you jump in. “Obviously, I don’t expect you to…” You inwardly curse yourself, and pour some champagne down your throat.

    Roger opens his mouth, as if to say something, and, in the back of your mind, you recognise that look, but you can’t quite place what it is.

    Then someone calls Roger’s name, and the look is gone, and Roger politely excuses himself from the conversation to be swept up in another.

    You bolt back to the snack table, as subtly as you can, but Justine is nowhere to be found. You quietly vow to throttle her next time you see her for disappearing on you, and shovel one more appetiser into your mouth, washing it down with champagne, then turn to face the crowd you’ve been immaturely avoiding all night.

    It feels like an hour, but must be no more than twenty, maybe twenty-five minutes, before you find a reasonable excuse to slip away again. You’re not having a bad time, per se, and you’re enjoying getting to catch up with old acquaintances, but it’s damn exhausting. You still haven’t seen Justine.

    You wish it wasn’t so freezing outside. You could do with some fresh air.

    Maybe another drink will help keep you warm. Even though you know you shouldn’t. You’re already tipsy.

    You take another flute of champagne and slip outside onto the balcony. The automatic light switches on.

    Your fingers and toes immediately feel like they’re about to fall off. “Eugh, this was a mistake,” you mutter to yourself, and bob up and down on the spot. The balcony is dotted with snow, but it’s hardly been the coldest winter you’ve ever lived through. It’s not snowing right now, at least. And it is nice to have some time to yourself.

    The back door slides open, and you turn to see who’s joining you, hoping it’s Justine.

    It’s Roger. He gives you a smile – a little nervous, a little shy, almost – and holds out your jacket. “You looked cold.”

    The first thing that comes out of your mouth is: “How’d you know it was mine?”

    “I asked Naoise. Here, let me hold your drink.”

    You pass him your champagne, and slip on your jacket, then take the flute back. “Thanks.”

    “No worries.” Roger moves closer to you, standing beside you, and squints up at the dark sky. “Not much snow this winter.”

    You follow his gaze. The moon is half-full. “No,” you agree.

    The sounds of the party are muffled behind you. Beyond the balcony, you can see through the bright yellow windows of Naoise’s neighbours – the silhouettes of family dinners, of other parties, the white light of TVs.

    “Sorry,” Roger says, breaking the silence. “You probably came out here to have some alone time. I shouldn’t have intruded. I can go back inside.”

    “No, it’s all right,” you say. This is nice, you want to add. But you don’t know if that’s appropriate, and you can’t think of anything to say instead, so you just leave the sentiment hanging in the icy air.

    “I realised I never asked what you’re doing with yourself these days,” Roger says.

    “Ah, just working,” you reply. “I’m a market research analyst.”

    “Oh, right. How long have you been doing that for?”

    “Since I finished uni, really. Well, I worked my way up. Started as an intern in web content writing, realised I preferred data analysis, so I wormed my way into market research. But I’ve been an analyst for almost ten years now.”

    Roger ponders this. “Do you enjoy it?”

     “Yeah,” you say with a nod. “I know it sounds boring. Most people think I’m mad for not only wanting to do my job, but actually enjoying it, but I do.”

    Roger smiles, and it’s a fond smile, a smile that you used to see all the time, and you feel a stab in your chest. A voice in the back of your mind whispers, Do you remember what it feels like to be loved like that? When was the last time Will smiled at you like that? When was the last time he smiled at you at all?

    You push that voice aside. You’re just lonely, and hurt, and sad. You’re reading far too much into a simple smile.

    “I think it’s great that you love it,” Roger says. “How lucky you found something you enjoy doing so early in your career.”

    You’re taken a little off-guard, and you duck your head to hide your smile. “Yeah, I guess I am lucky.”

    You take a sip of champagne.

    “Speaking of lucky – who’s the lucky man?”

    You try not to cringe. “Oh. Uh.” You glance down at the wedding ring that caught Roger’s eye. “Yes. Um, his name is Will. We met at a work do, actually. Been married eight years.”

    “He couldn’t make it tonight?”

    “No.” You don’t elaborate.

    Roger says nothing to that, and you wonder if he’s picked up on the bitterness in your tone, as much as you tried to hide it.

    “Right,” Roger says eventually. He clears his throat. “Any kids?”

    “Yes,” you say, and there’s no pretending now – the love in your voice is real. “April. She’s three.”

    “April,” Roger muses. “Lovely name.”

    “Thank you.” You grin at him. “Actually, this is going to sound so strange, but I always thought to myself that I wanted to be as good of a parent to my kids as you were to yours.”

    Roger blinks at you – his eyes are still big and blue, but you doubted even God himself could change that – and, if you’re not mistaken, you can see his face start to colour in the beam of the balcony light. “Oh,” he says. “That’s… one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

    You chuckle. “Well, it’s true. You were such an amazing dad. I’m sure you still are.”

    “I try to be.”

    “How old are they now? Gosh, they’d all be finished high school now, wouldn’t they?”

    “Yeah,” Roger says, shaking his head in disbelief. “Yes, um, my youngest, Sam, she graduated last year. She’s taking a year off this year, working and travelling. Daphne’s the oldest, if you remember, and she’s moving in with her girlfriend soon. She still lives at her mum’s, but her and Asha have been looking for a place for a few months now. She’s an industrial designer. Then there’s Fox, he’s a musician, he’s a bassist, and Sophie’s still at uni, she’s studying theatre, and she wants to do a master’s in artistic directing.”

    “Wow,” you say. You never got to know his kids personally too well – you met them a handful of times, but you were far too nervous to spend too much time with them back in the day. The last time you saw them, Daphne hadn’t even started high school. Sam was still learning to talk. “Wow, that’s– they’re so grown-up now.”

    “God, you don’t have to tell me,” Roger says with a chuckle.

    You shake your head, sighing, and drink some more champagne. “Do you have a lucky lady, then?”

    Roger’s face tightens, and he looks down at his left hand, splaying his fingers, but you don’t see a ring. He tucks his hand into his pocket. “I’ve been seeing someone for two months now, almost three,” he says. “Jean. I teach one of her kids. She’s lovely.”

    “Jean,” you repeat. “She couldn’t make it tonight?”

    Roger shakes his head. “No. She’s a nurse, so she often works nights.” He pauses, and then says quickly, “She’s fifty.”

    You can’t help but laugh. “Right.”

    “I didn’t want you to think that I always go for younger women,” Roger explains hastily. “You were an outlier. A wonderful outlier, but an outlier nonetheless.”

    “‘A wonderful outlier’,” you muse, a touch playfully. “Could be the name of my memoir.”

    “It could very well be,” Roger says.

    Something doesn’t sit quite right. It seems impossible that someone wouldn’t have married Roger in sixteen years. Surely he’s not just been dating on and off that whole time. Not a guy like him.

    Don’t pry, you tell yourself. Don’t pry, don’t pry, don’t pry– “I don’t mean to pry,” you say, and hate yourself for it, “but – did you ever get remarried, or…?”

    Roger looks a little taken aback.

    “Sorry,” you say. “That’s so rude, I’m sorry.”

    “What gave it away?” Roger says.

    You bite your lip. “You, um, looked at your left hand. No ring.”

    Roger nods. “Hm. Well. Got it in one.” He shoots you a wry smile, but you can see that he’s uncomfortable. “You seem to keep appearing in my life after I’ve gone through a divorce.”

    “I’m so sorry,” you say. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

    “It’s all right,” Roger says. “It was a year ago now, just about.”

    “Were you married long?”

    “Twelve years.”

    “Christ, Roger, I’m sorry.”

    Roger just shrugs, and sniffs, staring out at the apartments and houses beyond the balcony. But you can see the tension in his shoulders.

    “I’m divorcing my husband,” you blurt out.

    Roger looks to you. “I thought so,” he says carefully. “I could see it in your face when I asked about him.”

    You chew on the inside of your cheek. “Yeah.”

    “I’m sorry.”

    You shake your head. “Don’t be. He deserves it.”

    Roger grimaces. “Oh.”

    “He’s been cheating. But I want to wait until after Christmas to– to do all of that. To tell him I’m leaving him, the lawyers, the paperwork. So April doesn’t have to go through it during Christmas. I don’t want to ruin it for her.”

    Roger nods in understanding. He looks for a moment like he wants to reach out and touch you, comfort you, maybe, but he doesn’t. He just nods again and says, “You’re a good mum.”

    Your throat tightens, and you have to look away. You don’t dare to try to thank him for the compliment. The last thing you need is to break down at a Christmas party in front of your ex.

    “I’m sorry,” Roger says.

    You manage a forced laugh, turning to him. “For what?”

    “I don’t know,” he says. “I just… felt like I needed to say it.”

    You drink him in. The moment feels familiar somehow, and simultaneously foreign altogether.

    You sniff, but, luckily, no tears have fallen, and you take a breath to compose yourself.

    “Can I get you another drink?” Roger offers, holding out his hand to take your empty flute.

    “No, I shouldn’t,” you say. “I’ve had more than enough.” You chuckle. “I don’t remember ever saying that when we dated.”

    You expect Roger to laugh along with you, but instead he blinks in shock at you. “Oh, er, I– I also never– I’m glad you…”

    “You’re glad what, I enjoyed getting shitfaced?” you tease, not quite understanding his confusion.

    His eyes go wide. “Oh, drinking. Yes, well, everyone’s like that at uni a bit, aren’t they?” He chuckles uncomfortably, and then rushes out, “Just getting a drink,” and disappears inside.

    You frown to yourself. ‘Oh, drinking’? What else could you have possibly meant?

    Unless Roger thought you were referring to–

    Surely not.

    Referring to the sex?

    Your stomach drops to your feet. “Oh, God,” you groan softly, hiding your face behind your hand. You hope Roger doesn’t think you’re flirting with him.

    That’d be a story to tell the kids, wouldn’t it? Or to tell Jean. Hey, love, guess what happened last night? Ran into an ex, I dated her almost twenty years ago for a couple months, and we weren’t even chatting for more than half an hour before she was cracking onto me. Even though she’s married. Turns out I still got it!

    A shiver rocks through you, and you realise you can’t feel your fingers, but you’re loathe to head back inside. It’s nice out here, in the snow and ice, in a stiff, numb sort of way.

    Roger reappears not long after, wine in hand. “Thought you’d have headed back inside by now.”

    “I probably should,” you say, and cross your arms to warm up your hands. “But no, I don’t think I will.”

     “Do you mind if I stay out here with you?”

     You smile. “Not at all.”

     You don’t know for how long the two of you stand out there. With each passing minute, more of the awkwardness and discomfort slips away. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but soon the two of you are chatting away like no time has passed at all, laughing and bickering.

     He tells you more about the kids, and you tell him about April. He tells you about his second ex-wife – a title that he despises, and, for a while, you let him bemoan the notion that maybe he’s just a terrible husband  before you tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself.

    Mostly, you both reminisce about the past. About the good times and the bad.

    “It was mostly good, though,” you say. “I like to think it was mostly good.”

    Roger nods thoughtfully. “I think it was, yeah,” he says.

    “I can’t even remember how we broke up.”

    Roger snorts. “Are you joking?”

    You shake your head, shrugging. “No. I remember going through the break-up period, which took me far longer to get over than I’m willing to admit to you.”

    Roger grins. “Oh, yeah?” he teases.

    “No, don’t,” you warn him with a laugh. “You’re not getting an ego boost from me.”

    “Did you cry every night? Have a photo of me under your pillow? Eat lots of ice cream and watch rom-coms?”

    “Shut up, I’m not saying a word.”

    Roger laughs, and the sound of it makes your heart sing. “You’re not saying no.”

    You roll your eyes. “I was in a lot of pain for a long time,” you say. “There, are you happy?”

    Roger’s smile fades, and he looks down at his feet. “No, of course that doesn’t make me happy,” he says. He looks back to you. “For what it’s worth, I probably took even longer to get over you.”

    You study his face. It’s a little more weathered, a little more lined, but it’s a face you missed for a very long time. “What happened?” you ask, so softly it’s almost a whisper, like you wouldn’t dare to speak the question any louder. “I… I really liked you, Rog. A lot. Loved you, even, although I– I didn’t know what love felt like at the time. Where did we go wrong?”

    Roger swallows, and shakes his head minutely, his eyes drinking in yours. “I don’t know,” he murmurs. “Wrong place, wrong time. But I…” He cuts himself off, and takes a deep breath, looking away.

    “But what?”

    “Nothing.” Roger gives you a small smile. “I’ve never met Will, but he sounds like the stupidest man alive to hurt you like that.”

    You snort a laugh. “Well. I’m sure he doesn’t think so.”

    “It’ll be too late by the time he figures it out. Stupid men are like that.”

    You don’t know what to say to that, so you don’t say anything at all. All you can think is that Roger really hasn’t changed much at all, and that Jean is a very fortunate woman.

    Your phone buzzes, and you pull it out of your pocket to check it. “Ah, shit,” you mutter. It’s Will. April’s come down with a fever, the text says. Need you home.

    “Is everything all right?” Roger asks.

    You pocket your phone again. “April’s sick,” you say. “Duty calls.”

    “Right, of course. Let me walk you inside.”

    He opens the sliding door for you, and waves you in. “Age and beauty,” he says, and it catches you unaware, makes you laugh.

    “I forgot you say that,” you say. It’s a play on age before beauty – Roger used to say that you bested in him both age and beauty, so the original phrase didn’t fit, and he insisted on saying his version of it every time he opened a door for you. Which was often. He liked that his silly little phrase made you giggle and give him a gentle slap on the arm.

    “I haven’t said it in a long time, actually,” Roger says with a grin, closing the door behind him, trapping you both in the warmth, along with the music and conversation. “Not since you.”

    You both stand there for a moment, grinning at each other, unsure how to proceed, and you feel a familiar squeeze of your heart. “I need to go,” you say, almost apologetically.

    “Yes,” Roger says.

    “I…” You hesitate. “Wait for me at the door, I just want to make the rounds, say quick goodbyes to everyone.”

    “Sure,” Roger says, and you give his arm a quick squeeze, then track down Naoise and Chin to say your thank-yous and farewells, then Justine, then a couple of other people.

    You grab your purse, and meet Roger at the front door. “I had a really nice time tonight,” you tell him. “Thank you.”

    “I was just about to say the same thing,” he says.

    You’re unsure what to say, but then an idea strikes you. “Do you want my number? It’d be nice to keep in touch.”

    “Oh, yes, of course,” Roger says. “That’d be lovely.”

    He hands over his phone, and you save your number. “Give me a call whenever,” he says, as you hand his phone back. “If you need someone to talk to, y’know. Or just for a chat. Divorces are… really not fun.”

    You chuckle wryly. “Well, I suppose you’re the expert, aren’t you?”

    “God, you’re just as rude as I remember,” Roger says with a roll of his eyes, laughing alongside you.

    He stops in his tracks, his gaze towards the ceiling.

    You tilt your head up. A decorative sprig of mistletoe hangs above the door.

    You and Roger look at each other, your faces both pink.

    Your heart clenches. Yes, Jean is a very fortunate woman indeed. “Funny,” you say with a nervous chuckle.

    “Yeah, weird,” Roger says. “I don’t think I’ve ever even seen mistletoe in real life before.”

    “Me, either.”

     Another moment passes. “In another lifetime,” you say with a smile.

    Roger takes a breath, and there’s something in his eyes, something you haven’t seen for a long time, and he nods, smiling back. “Yeah,” he says. “Right time, right place.”

    You nod again, drinking this in, and sigh. “Okay, well, I really do need to go. I’m sure Will is on the verge of panic without me there.”

    “Of course,” Roger says. “I hope April’s all right.”

    “Thanks, Rog.” On a spur of the moment, you give him a peck on the cheek, and then let yourself out. “Merry Christmas.”

    “Merry Christmas,” he says. “I might see you soon?”

    “You will,” you say. Your ride is almost here, so you give one final wave, and head to the lift.

    The door closes.

    You take the lift down and climb into the car.

    You go home, say hello to your husband, and take care of your daughter.

    That night, you sit in the dining room, nursing a hot chocolate, listening to the silence of the house.

    Then, and only then, do you allow yourself to cry.

     Your wallowing was short-lived, though - swiftly interrupted by a phone call from an unknown number.

     You wipe your nose on your sleeve, grimacing, and answer. “Hello?”

    “[Y/N]?”

     You’re gobsmacked. “Roger?”

     “I- I wasn’t expecting you to answer. I was just... going to leave a voice message to say this was my number.”

     You let out a pitiful bubble of laughter. “Why didn’t you just text?”

     There’s a pause, and then an embarrassed, “Oh, yes. I could’ve done that.”

     You sniff. “It’s fine, no harm done. I’ll let you get to bed, it’s late.”

    “Right,” Roger says. “Um, how’s- how’s April?”

    “She’s good, yeah, thanks for asking. Gave her some painkillers and she went right to sleep.”

    “Good, that’s good.”

    “Yes.” You sniff again, wetly, and quickly wipe at your nose a second time. “Ah, well, I, um... should probably...”

    “Go, yes,” Roger says. “Sorry. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

    “No, no, not at all,” you reassure him. “I was just, um, having a hot chocolate.”

    “Right, sounds important.”

     You laugh. “It’s very important.”

    “I’m sure it is. I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

    “I appreciate it.”

     You realise you’re smiling to yourself like a loon. “Thanks for calling,” you say.

     Roger chuckles. “No worries at all. And, um, seriously. If you need someone to talk to, at any time, please just call me. I couldn’t bear the thought of you, I don’t know, sitting alone and crying, or something like that.”

     You almost laugh out loud. “Thank you, Rog. I’ll make sure to save your number.”

    “Please do, so I don’t have to call you in the middle of the night again.”

     You smile. “G’night.”

    “Night, [Y/N].”

     You hang up.

     Your hot chocolate tastes a little sweeter than it did before.

[hellreads]

For anyone who saw this, i urge u to read Right of Way. Okay io, my heart. First, as a jk stan, i feel like a several punches hit me from every direction. I'm the kind of reader who easily immersed into the character especially w the pronoun 'you' i feel like someone is reading me a story of my life, so yes i am bawling, usually it took me a few fluff or smut fic to simmer down the emotion but not this one. I went to bed with swollen eyes. I couldn't read a shit after that.

I will put all my answers under the cut because this is RoW and my emotions for this fic has no end T_T | 🍒

❤️ Rara | 🍒 Io (I decided to answer it as if we’re just chatting and not hurting rip our weak hearts for RoW Jimin, Jungkook, and OC)

[AN EXCHANGE FULL OF SPOILERS]

❤️ : For anyone who saw this, I urge u to read Right of Way. Okay io, my heart. First, as a jk stan, i feel like a several punches hit me from every direction. I’m the kind of reader who easily immersed into the character especially w the pronoun ‘you’ i feel like someone is reading me a story of my life, so yes i am bawling, usually it took me a few fluff or smut fic to simmer down the emotion but not this one. I went to bed with swollen eyes. I couldn’t read a shit after that.

🍒 : Rara, I feel you!!! I am the type of reader who hardcore immerses herself even if the main character gets killed or is a ghost because the best way for me to relate and feel everything to the core is to immerse, I can never read something as an outsider, okay maybe there’s a few I started out as an outsider but eventually caved in (even named OC fics lol, it’s fun to be someone else), sorry to break it to you but NO FIC CAN EVER HEAL THE DAMAGE RIGHT OF WAY HAS DONE TO YOU, NO FIC CAN MAKE YOU FORGET OF THE EVENTS, THE MISTAKES, THE REGRETS, THE PENANCE, THE ACCEPTANCE, THE WEIGHT THIS FIC WILL HAVE ON YOU IS TOO HEAVY YOU NEED A SUPPORT/SUFFER GROUP. 

ONCE YOU READ RoW YOUR HEART WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN.

❤️ : RoW jk is childish, to me. But maybe he is just naive or confused. For him to fall for oc but still care about sohee is kind of dick move to me, but someone once told me “we cannot choose who fall in love with, and we certainly cannot choose how it will happen either”. That’s their fates. I’m pretty satisfied w the ending bcs there’s no bad person in this story, just bad decisions. What saddens me is, it seems like only OC who pays the price.

🍒 : That is true that he seems like a childish one but isn’t that the beauty of being a child? loving without limits, with all your heart? no hesitations, just trusting that love will be kind, good, untainted even, he saw something in OC that’s why he opened up himself to her and fell for her even if we cannot fully understand the set-up they agreed to have, I hated him for staying with Sohee, I could never understand that part but then again have you seen how feral Sohee was for Jungkook? the girl would kill for the boy, she snaked her way to get him and she’d do anything for history to not repeat itself, but the gods said fuck you Sohee we’ll let the boy stray, he cheated once, he’ll cheat again, what makes you think you’re special hun? you’re right nobody is a bad person here since they’re all humans, something led them to commit the sins they’ve done in this lifetime…

Sohee’s Fault was stealing Jungkook from Seulgi, she was head over heels for him she didn’t think twice, she just wanted to get him at all costs even if it means karma will find her sooner or later, she lusted after him and eventually loved him so there’s no way she was letting go, hence, she carefully planned everything so she gets pregnant with his baby, sick right? but the reality is she’s not the only one who did this thing to their partner, she just didn’t fucking care as long as she keeps Jungkook.

Jimin’s Fault was trusting and loving OC too much he shrugged every sign of her infidelity under the rug, what a libra thing to do Jimin (I am a Libra and I can attest to this Libra trait especially when in love) he was too blinded by love that he gave her every benefit of the doubt whenever she skips dates, goes home late, always tired, even asking to be fucked dog style, sigh, he lost the love of his life to his best friend (well he lost his loves twice to the same boy) she was nothing but an empty shell pre-programmed to respond to him like a lover would and that fucking hurt, I think among the four characters here he received the most damage cluelessly, what a poor loving soul, my heart shattered for him, he only wanted to give her the world but she decided to run to a different planet.

Jungkook’s Fault was being weak and not opening himself up to Sohee, if he only opened up to her the way he did to OC then this wouldn’t have happened,  she’s always been there but something is still missing but he should’ve talked things with her instead of finding solace in the arms of OC, because of the secret class they shared they had to write something together which I think could’ve been written minus their drunken state but whoops this is their fate, maybe in another universe they belonged together and they’re trying it as well in this one? (coherence fucked up my mind so I keep thinking of alternate universes) also, Jungkook did nothing to stop the sins they’re doing, he’s into deep inside her in every sense and there was no going back, he was willing to ruin relationships and friendships but fate was cruel, he only had a taste of his euphoria before everything came crashing down.

OC’s Fault was thinking she was strong enough to fight her strong feelings and urges, she thought she was not capable of doing such thing, she wasn’t a bad person, maybe the stable relationship really got to her (long-term relationships can get boring and it isn’t pretty) and having a taste of something or someone new is titillating, also, it wouldn’t be bad right? because it’s the worst, just like Jungkook she gave in to lust, god their sexual chemistry and actual chemistry off-sex is something every lover should have except they aren’t lovers but sinners trying to milk each other everything they got before the world reveals their secrets, she knew it was wrong but she always kept coming back for more, as much as she tried to stay away and forget about everything she keeps spiraling down with Jungkook, it was no longer a mistake but a choice. ultimately, she had to pay the price because that was her predicament, she got the short end of the stick, everything was ruined for her, her relationship with Jimin, Sohee, and Jungkook.

❤️ : If i could wish for a different ending i would say a happy ending but that is unreal. I would want oc to end up w jk, sohee didnt ended up pregnant. (Thats the thing isn’t it, when u’re pregnant u’re bound for life, for the sake of the child). Maybe oc can end up w jimin, she will live her whole life as jimin wife and also as a liar. Point is, the ending is “this is bound to happen, someone have to take the bullet” n i think it’s necessary rather than satisfying,

🍒 : You’re absolutely right about somebody taking the bullet and that’s obviously OC, this is why it fucking hurts, you know for a fact that she didn’t do all of this on her own, it’s not like she forcefully had her way with Jungkook, I’m just so appalled because he was a fuckboy and suddenly lost all knowledge and imagination on this exact position “It’s actually pretty shimple… The girl is straddling the guy, her back facing him while her face is turned to the side so he can kiss her.” imo, he tricked her by playing dumb, maybe it’s true they’re tipsy but he constantly bugged OC after which means he remembers everything they’ve done that one sinful night…

~ the first ending I hoped for was Jimin and OC getting back together, I prayed so hard that he’ll have the heart to forgive and take her back but this the reality of cheating and getting cheated on, no matter how much you try to mend and put the pieces back together it will never fit perfectly again, edges now cracked and torn there’s no way their perfect relationship will ever be the same, as one of my favorite songs said “with each passing day the pain still stays the same” no matter how hard Jimin tries, his trust and love for her will never be the same, he will always doubt her and be reminded of her infidelity, it will not be a pleasant ride for them so it’s better that they didn’t end up being together because even if time heals all wounds the scar she gave him will always hurt like a salted fucking open wound.

~ the second one I hoped for was that Jungkook gives up everything even if Sohee was pregnant, this is brutal I know but if he truly loved OC he would keep his promise and be with her, with or without a child growing inside his girlfriend because it’ll never be the same for them but unlike Jimin, Sohee was willing to try and forget because he loves Jungkook too much, I applaud her for trying but I believe she will never be truly happy, she will be constantly reminded of stealing Jungkook from Seulgi, forcing their child into this world as a trap to keep him, and the devastating fact that Jungkook was willing to give everything up for OC, and that for a short period of time he loved her like the world was about to end, and end it did, Sohee won in this lifetime, suffering is a small price to pay to be with Jungkook ig, they can try but reality will come checking up on them once in a while and it won’t be fun, their relationship is damaged but for Hikaru their innocent angel they will try. 

~ the last and ultimate ending I prayed for was OC ending up alone, another savage wish because I love suffering, but this was the only way for her heart to be free from all the pain and guilt, she suffered long enough by keeping secrets and coming back to Jungkook’s arms, she wasn’t a bad person, she was just weak and lost the battle in holding tightly onto her morals because love is something you can’t run away from, yes, I believe that she and Jungkook fell in love it was evident in the incriminating poem he made her “the tiny islands of your birthmark leading me to your center like a happy trail” he paid attention to every part of her and you don’t do that to a random fuck, it was hard not to love the pair despite the sins they’ve done because fuck I’m crying again, my chest now heaving from too much pain ugh, they were perfect (these lines should’ve been on my second ending but whatever I’ll get to my point) if only Jimin and Sohee didn’t exist or sure let them join the picture except they’re just random friends, but they’re not, and that’s why it sucks that she had to endure all of this losing a lover, losing a friend, and losing a soulmate (because fuck the way Jungkook loved her screams soulmate to me except he’s tied to another T_T)

❤️ : My favorite moment would be when jimin found the poems, man it went down like I’m falling from a cliff straight into the coldest sea on earth. U know when u ride a rollercoaster, on the falling part, u feel like ur heart is at ur throat? That how i feel as jimin reads the poem. Now imagine being jimin. Imagine being cheated on in the worst way anyone could possibly imagine. He was ready to propose to oc, jk is his bff, she fucked jk while he was away, on the couch next to their photo…

🍒 : RARA, I FELT THAT, I RECENTLY VISITED A FAMOUS THEME PARK AND FUCK THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE THERE TOOK MY SOUL, ALL I SHOUTED OUT WAS LOOOOOORRRRRRDDDDD AND I DIED ~ anyway, that poem part fucked me up, I was literally bawling my eyes out, I have been cheated on but if I happened to discover the affair the way Jimin did I would die, when I discovered my boyfriend of almost 8 years cheated on me my heart froze, literally fucking freezing cold and not a single tear dropped that day, the following days were hellish, that’s when I wanted to cry and release all my pain but still no tears (I knew it was coming I guess) ~ this is why the length of a relationship doesn’t really matter because it’s never an assurance that your partner will be faithful to you, maybe things got boring okay I admit to that but what I can never understand is, why stay and cheat and hurt your partner if you’re no longer happy.

no one owns anybody nor is anyone entitled to own anybody or have them as a back-up in case your mission to cheat or flirt fails, that is just fucking sick.

❤️ : I love it that I major in literature study, bcs i can keep my mind sane instead of just blaming myself (oc), i see it from each characters’ pov and god, the author deserves a standing ovation. This is so many asks hehe, i feel like i still have a lot to say but I couldn’t think straight right now, too clouded by the angst smoke, hehe p:s i love u more!

🍒 : ohhh that’s an interesting fact, my major and my profession has nothing to do with literature or anything, in fact, people who studied my major probs hate English ghasdjfghjdsagfhjsadgfjksd, I’m just used to seeing both sides of the story and trying to understand why they are like that, did something happen to them to end up in the situation they’re in? what is missing in their lives? what are they craving for? what tipped off the balance? nobody wanted to be in the predicament they’re in, Sohee, Jimin, Jungkook, and OC were victims of time and circumstance, just because things didn’t turn out the way you want them to doesn’t mean life or fate or destiny is cruel, this is the nature and balance of this universe, if they give everything to us freely even if we tried taking it in the most inappropriate or evil way there would be nothing but chaos, I just hope that somewhere out there our girl OC is happy and having the time of her life, I’m no longer wishing for Jimin to come back, I just want all of them to heal and learn from their experience, it’s sad and painful but they were just never meant to be, Jimin nor Jungkook was never meant for OC, OC wherever you are my love, I hope you’ve healed and loved yourself well and put back the pieces of your broken self together, love will find you and it will be beautiful.

[wolgrahas]

tagged by: @falkreathh thank you!!  sorry for doing this so much later u_u’ tagging: whoever wants to!! (◡‿◡✿) 1. favourite game in the series ok... i don’t know if you already figured it out but my total fave is dao. why? maybe is the nostalgic feelings this game gives me or... i played it so many mcfucking times that i just get this hollow feeling inside my chest when i haven’t played it for weeks... idk. the trespasser dlc was spectacular too and gave my lavellan a lot of personality (what i thought the dai base game lacked, bc it made me feel like my inquisitor was an empty shell with no personality, solas’ romance save the dai base game to me tbqh). but... you can create such complex personalities in dao for your warden, and the relationships are so so realistic. i think (dao) is neat lmao. 

2. how did you discover dragon age? before being a dragon age fan i was a dark souls fan; i breath dark souls, i read dark souls, i ate dark souls, i was quite obsessed with dark souls, and before dark souls i was an obsessed skyrim fan (oNLY SKYRIM, not the previous games ashdgjasdgh) and with skyrim that was the first time i made video game oc's, like... they had such complex personalities and i cannot make complex character now... aNYWAY i'm getting carried away: i knew dragon age bc dai was being lunched and ALL the people i followed reblogged stuff about dai, and then i bought dao and loved it!! 

3. how many times have you played the games? hfgsdjfhsjfshd fffUCKKKK SHITT... alright... many mANY TIMES, but how many times i haven't finished my game?? countless times!! i think i finished fINISHED dao maybe... pls don't laugh at me... 10+ times. yes they are so so so many times, shame on me! shame on my cow! blah blah, but i lOVE dao. da2 maybe.... 3-4 times? and dai 6 times?? it's funny bc i played dao and da2 in many different ways but dai... m8, always the same, fuck you solas sdhfjdshjsdf 4. favourite race to play? qUNARIIIII!!! i lOVE tieflings so.. i obviously love the qunari too, but in the dai the first race i chose was qunari but then i talked to solas and i was like... bITCHHHHH i'm gonna create an elf to romance this egg, and then... my canon inky became an elf lol. and last favourite race are humans... ok don't hate me, it's not bc they are """boring""" or shit like that, it's bc they are the upper-class of thedas and i LOVE the "from zero to hero" trope... so... yeah agfshsdfhj 5. favourite class? mages!! bc i love the lore behind this class, it's fantastic, precisely blood magic. but if i didn't care about this, i would choose archer, tho in the first games it sucked but in dai is pretty cool :^) 6. do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time? as i've said before i have made many different decisions in dao and da2 but in dai are always the same lol 7. go-to adventuring group? origins: alistair/sten, morrigan, zev/leliana da2: aveline, anders, isabela/varric dai: solas, cassandra, cole/sera 8. which of your characters did you put the most thought into? i think prim/anika??(they're the same but one is a human and the other an elf lmaoo), she was my first da oc, and obviously the one i put most thought into bc i uSED to have a lot of creativity some years ago, what a pity my brain is useless now lmao 9. favourite romance? pfffff... solas, alistair, leli and cass!! i think?? idk i gotta play again dai bc i'm not sure :/ 10. have you read any of the comics/books? i've read aLL the books but not the comics :/, i want to read the comics but idk where i could read them online and free (sorry i'm poor lol), so... mi gozo en un pozo lmao 11. if you read them, which was your favourite book? my fav book was "the masked empire"!! patrick weekes is a good writer and i loved the orlesian politics, and i adored seeing these characters in dai! (tho briala was whitewashed lmao) 12. favourite DLCs? obviously: awakening and trespasser. these two dlc's were mcfUCKING AMAZING. i mean, with dao i expected the same quality of the base game, but trespasser was such an excelent and good experience, it gave a lot of insight to our inquisitors and also: sOOULASSSSS, so yep! i mainly lOVED trespasser and i hope weekes guides the team to make a game at least as good as this dlc! (tho, if ea is a greedy bintch this time [as always lol] it doesn't matter how many times the bioware time tries, ea will force them to do a shitty game :/) 13. things that annoy you how viv, anders and sera are written, i mean, i loved anders the first time i played da2 but his personality is obviously written to annoy the fuck outta you, tho i loved how he expressed his ideals freely (tho sometimes he even seemed too traidtional to me about topics like blood magic :/), but sera and viv were a lil harder to befriend and like, and i still don't like much viv, but i love her as a character, y'kno 14. orlais or ferelden? tbh, if i gotta live in one of those two places i would choose ferelden by fAR. but, now, if we're talking about which is more interesting; orlais. 15. templars or mages? like @/blckwall said: all templars are bastards :). i would love if thedas had independent magic schools, that there were no higher representatives or charges, that every village or city had its own magic school, and the crown would be the responsable of manage its needs. i haven't thought much about this so my thoughts are quite vague :/ 16. if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one? they're from different universes, tho i'd love the idea of all of them being in the same universe, but some worlds states are incompatible with others. 17. what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc) in dao: barkspawn (i'm extremelly predictable, sorry u_u') 18. have you installed any mods? all my dragon age games are modded as fUCK. i mean, i think dao is the most heavy modded game i have?? (mainly bc i cannot install many mods in skyrim lol) but when i have my gaming computer again i will mod the shit out of dai >:) 19. did your warden want to become a grey warden? prim had been working in the circle her entire live to be in the higher ranks, and then she saw how all her work was lost made her really conflicted: she didn't wanted to leave bc she yearned to be more powerful and make the circle a better place for mages (yep, she's deeply anti-circle bc of her traumatic past), and she was going to die if she refused duncan's offer. even so, she was never sorry for supporting jowan. and, she became the king of ferelden's mistress; she loved him obv, but she could also take some advantage of his power to make the mages and marginalize people's situation better, and gain fortune by that; alistair was well aware about her plans by prim's words herself, but he never objected. altho the main cause prim made alistair king is bc she wanted him to have a good life and not waste it as a grey warden, so... anyway, i got acrried away... this is long af ghdjsdgf 20. hawke’s personality? red mostly, tho he used to be purple/red in the first and begining of the second act :/ 21. did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition? yes i did!! i lOVED to be fashionable in dragon age instyle!! 22. if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change? prim : she would have tried to convince jowan and wait some months until she could convince him. also: sometimes she wishes she didn't make alistair king, mostly bc of her daughter (her daughter is the only heir to the throne of ferelden, and basically she doesn't even know that prim is her real mother, mostly bc anora adopted her bc alistair and she couldn't have children), sometimes, in her alone saddest times, thinks how things would have been if alistair was still a grey warden, they would have a happy family and wouldn't even had to hide inofensive stuff like a cheek kiss. but anyway, her duties as a grey warden are more important and doesn't have time to think about it. garrett hawke: he regrets not defending carver, he would have prefered to sacrifice himself instead of any of his siblings. he also regrets going to the deep roads with bethany, letting the grey wardens make her one of them (obv he doesn't know that if he didn't she would have joined the circle lmao). and obv her mother's death... if he had been there, with her mother, he could have done something... :'/ maia: she regrets not being strong enough when that shem tried to hurt her when she was a litte girl, that made her mother kill him to save her bc she was too defenseless, she should have been stronger, that caused her mother and she part ways, because now maia's mother was a criminal and she had more proabilities of getting caught, so maia should go on her way and find the next village, but she found the lavellan clan. she deeply regrets not going after her mother. she also think she was too stupid to not found out the true identity of solas and try to convince him that this world has meaning :'/ 23. do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon? mmmm... no? :/, i like my decisions to have consequences?? 24. are any of your characters based on someone? sahgdashsd pls don't make fun of me but in the first stage of prim's/anika's 'personality creation' was inspired by mother gothel, then she was inspired by...... mikasa ackerman dsfgdjsdf, i'm still inspired by that character tHO i know that shingeki no kyojin is nazi propaganda and i no longer watch that anime lmao. maia is inspired by... a mix of me and rapunzel (from tangled)?? she's basically a shy rapunzel :') 25. who did you leave in the fade? some of you will hate me bc i had to choose between hawke and stroud but i still chose hawke dsfgsdf. m8, hawke is just a 'figure' who isn't widely recognized in thedas, while the grey warden are 394789x more useful, idk i always put myself in the shoes of my characters even if their decisions hurt me (tho, tbqh, i'm not tHAT attached to hawke so this choice was easy lol) 26. favourite mount? royal sixteen!! she's so pretty!! ♡♡♡ thanks for tagging me!! ♡♡

[teashadephoenix]

11 Questions

I got tagged by @pomegranate-belle <3 I'm sorry this took for fucking ever?!!??

I’ll tag @lioness--hart @fox-in-the-library and @whitegodiva if you guys want to do it? And anybody else, obvi <3

1. How long have you been writing?

Actually sitting down to type stories out? Eight years old. I've been making shit up since I could talk. I have it on good authority I am entertaining to listen to.

2. What are the major themes of your current wip(s)? LONG ANSWER

omg I really dont know. I spent several hours over several days banging on this question in my head both in front of the computer and away from it only to come to the horrified realisation that I Don't Know. *gay panic*

I know the things I like to write about. I like to write about free exchange of culture, of mutual respect and fraternity with your fellow humans (which leads to themes of unity, unconditional love not only of people but of the world, and the gray area of what it means to protect those things without giving in to hate, indifference and intolerance. THE GRAY AREA IS WHERE I THRIVE.)

I like to write about intergenerational relationships (which leads to themes of obsolescence, changing of the guard, and how people, in general, not individuals, never really change. Like, there's For a Good Time graffiti on the walls at Pompeii. That is HILARIOUS.)

I write a lot about family, both born and found. (Everybody has a place and everybody is loved.) I write about mental illness and being queer (which all by itself leads to themes of not knowing your place in the world even if you have one. Frequently comes up against the previously mentioned theme)

So yeah. I don't know. My big WIP, the Aalee Rise series, is about a young woman on the cusp of adulthood going out into the world for the first time. It's her idealism vs reality. The other main characters in that cast are all foils re: various facets of societal structure and ideologies. One challenges her idea of government, another her idea of religion. She falls in love, her loyalties to her brother and parents are tested, she makes mistakes, she fights monsters and saves the world. A lot.

tldr; It's my sandbox and I just wanted to build castles in it. I don't really know if the castles will mean anything when I'm done. I hope they do.

3. What do you want people to take away from your story once they’ve read it?

My greatest ambition is that I could ever write a hero as beloved as the heroes I read about growing up, figures that reminds not to give up hope, to get back up when we're down, that the dark times ahead of us will come to pass.

At best, if I've done that, I'll be ecstatic and satisfied.

At worst, as long as you had a good time, if you didn't throw the book across the room in disgust, I'll take it.

4. Would you be excited if people write fanfiction about your wip(s)?

YAAAAS. I would literally never read it because Im terrified of accidentally absorbing someone's ideas and making them my own bc Christ alive that's a legal nightmare, but yes that would make my life.

And you can have my firstborn if you send me fanart.

5. What’s your go-to writing beverage?

Tea. Really strong and sweet. I make a fresh quart each morning and usually go through it by the end of day.

6. Who is your favorite oc? Tell me about them!

OMG ALL OF MY CHILDREN ARE PRECIOUS. (it's Aalee.)

Aalee Dering is the eighteen-year-old protagonist of my Aalee Rise series.  When we meet her in volume one (Worldwalk) she and her twin brother are setting off on their coming-of-age journey around the country. Her people, the Noruahai, have defended humanity for generations from unearthly creatures called asmic, and if she wants to become a licensed Marshal like her famous mother (and wow, she really, really does) she'll have to prove herself on her Worldwalk.

Aalee thinks with her heart first and always. She loves beautiful things, and all things are beautiful to her. She's quick to cry and struggles with anger, as well as distraction; she has trouble keeping focus. Good for getting into trouble. Not so good when it comes to being a responsible adult.

It would probably be easier if she wasn't of two minds on every single decision she has to make. She empathises with everyone, which can be paralysing-- how can she fight someone whose point of view she gets?

7. Do you feel that mistakes are important learning tools in the writing journey?

Mistakes are learning tools of life, darling. In writing they generally aren't the types that will destroy friendships, health, financial status, etc, which means they're generally easier to bounce back from. Unless you commit career suicide in some way...

8. Rank your ocs by their capability in a footchase (either running after or from smth, your choice)

1. Fall from the Aalee Rise series. He's a complicated human. Without getting into the context of the world he's from, he's hard to explain; but the short version is he's half-ghost so he can basically turn himself into the wind.

2. Rosie Frey from Color of the Stars but only when she's a lion. In her human form she's pretty normal.

3. Lynn Blythe (or any of the other vampires) from Echoes of Eden, because they're cheating cheaterfaces who use mystical vampy powers to be stronger and faster than humans

4. Sendmarshal Henley from the Aalee Rise series. Probably the fastest regular human. Imagine the most beautiful, tall, leggy black woman you can, all lean muscle and elegant grace, and now imagine her scooping you up and zipping out of danger with an easy smile on her face... *fans self* I stan.

5. When running headlong into danger to save someone? Aalee Dering. When running away? Frustratingly, satirically slow. She's one of those idiot heroes who stops to make sure everyone got away okay so Fall's always running back to grab her ("MOVE, IDIOT" "But that little old lady--" "FIRE-BREATHING MONSTERS. MOVE.")

9. Does your wip have romance? tell me about it!! if not tell me about a friendship/important relationship in your wip!! MORE LENGTHY BLAH

Relationships are the driving force of my writing. How one loves or is loved by other people, how they relate and engage with others, is how one grows, in real life and in fiction. There are a number of relationships in all my series that I'm fond of for various reasons. (For instance, even though she cannot STAND him, I'm eager af to write Eden and Lynn's relationship in Echoes of Eden because of how complicated it is.)

And as a rule all of my characters are queer or questioning unless otherwise stated, and I ship everybody with basically everybody else, and almost everybody has a love story in their history. (at least, their parents certainly do because I am a gross vile romantic and these fuckers came from somewhere.)

That having been said, for the sake of brevity I'll stick with Aalee Rise and limit myself to the Big Three: Aalee and her brother Elles, Aalee and her best friend Norah, and Aalee and Fall.

FAMILY: Aalee and Elles are twins. Born together and never separated, which stands out in a world where families are broken up by chaotic circumstances and random death on a regular basis. Aalee is easily distracted and has difficulty communicating her thoughts, so she tends to act on impulse; Elles is forever the cool head and the hand grabbing her by the back of the shirt to stop her from walking into danger. And after eighteen years of this... he's tired of it. He loves his sister, but he longs to see the world on his own terms, walk his own path. And Aalee doesn't share that sentiment. Not only doesn't share it, but is blown away when it comes into play. Her partner in crime wants to break away, and she does not take it very well. The first volume (Worldwalk) explores how their relationship suffers, grows, and changes due to this break.

FRIEND: Aalee's best friend of ten years is Norah. They met as little girls in a monster-ravaged town; Norah was entertaining the youngest orphans with a story and Aalee joined in. The pair of them spent a long night keeping civilians from panicking while Marshals battled asmic beyond the walls of the bunker. They exchanged addresses and became penpals over the next few years, since both of their parents travelled and they were rarely in the same place at the same time. That changed suddenly when Norah lost her father. Since then, Norah's family and Aalee's have lived in the same town. Norah is her warm hand in the dark, her shoulder to cry on, the first person she tells any good news. for Norah, Aalee is the only person (at the beginning of the story, anyway) with whom she can be her real whole self. They love each other no matter what.

ROMANCE: And then there's Fall. Aalee meets Fall when she rescues him from being murdered in a back alley-- except, oops, turns out it was a sting operation to catch the killer because he's not actually the helpless filthy vagabond she assumed he was; he's actually a powerful Marshal who was on assignment. Stuck together for various reasons, he becomes a mentor to her on her worldwalk, while she blatantly digs into the mystery of who he is, which turns out to complicate their lives, the lives of their friends and families, randos they happens across, their enemies, and also God's. To say they fall in love with each other is an understatement of cosmic proportions. They choose each other.

10. Do you believe in the advice kill your darlings?

Yeah but I take the advice as intended; which is not, as most assume, kill your fave characters, but to get rid of that which does not work, even if you love it. That pearlescent line of dialogue, or that golden bit of allegory? Doesn't matter how much you love it and how proud of it you are, if it does. not. work. it HAS. TO. GO. (save it in a new file to reread when you feel down and scrap that shit from the main file.)

that said re: killing characters, in my youth I was very much of the George RedRum Martin camp of "KILL THEM ALL" but as Ive gotten older my main focal point has been "What purpose does their death serve?" Death is not the only sacrifice worth writing. So while I am not afraid to kill my characters, I do take the nature of their deaths in the writing very seriously. There has to be a point.

11. Do you prefer plotting or worldbuilding? Why?

WORLDBUILDING MANYEXCLAMATIONPOINTSGOHERE! Plotting is like the maths of writing. It's measurement, it's brickwork, it's demolition when the wall you put up last week is three feet too long and now you have to scrap it and start over. Vital. But not my favorite part.

Worldbuilding is the art. It's the music your OCs hum and the stories that they treasure and the faith that holds them up when the crap you throw at them might tear them down. It's the story behind the jacket they wear and it's the reason they nod to the altar when they enter a place of worship and it's the meaning of their names. It's the magic. How the world works, the little details that make it real to the reader because it's real for your characters, is my favorite part of writing.

[workingforthewidow]

Turn Washingtons Spies Fic

Strap in kiddos bc this fucker is well over 30 pages in Word and 11,000 words. Should I have split it into parts probs but I worked on this bitch for months so here you go. It’s Ben/OC with some BFF Caleb, Simcoe/OC, Andre/OC. And the others are here too. 

Warnings: mentions of death/war/weapons/ lots of Simcoe hate. I the fluff queen wrote it so there shouldn't be anything to major. I did make Sky cry tho but she's emotional AF so oh well, it was happy cries I think.

This isn't a reader insert, I wrote it for my sister and I, so I used our names. 

   “Do you have to go with them? Can't you stay here? Please.” Ben’s grip on my hand tighten as if he believed if he continued to hold it and not let go, I couldn’t leave. 

   “I have to go back. I can’t let Sky and Papa go alone. They’ll forget to eat and sleep if I’m not there to remind them.” 

   “I’m sure they will be fine.” He was getting desperate.

   “I’ll come back you know that. These months will pass quickly then you can come to Scotland and bring me home. Write to me and I’ll write to you. I need to go. Papa will question me if I’m gone to long. I love you Ben.” 

   “I love you too.” He kissed me once then released his hold on my hand and I quickly made my way back to where Sky and Papa were waiting. 

   “Don’t worry you’ll see him again soon.” Sky whispered to me as we boarded the ship that would take up back to what was once our home, Scotland. 

   Once the war was over, ending in England’s defeat our father, Major Hewlett or Papa as we called him, decided it was best we go back to Scotland and try to restart the lives we left behind. But so much had changed since we had last been in Scotland. We had all fallen in love. The two of them were sadly left heartbroken. Well sadly for Papa. Sky could get over her heartbreak - that guy was a jerk. 

   After what felt like a lifetime, we finally landed in Scotland. A place I once dreamed about returning to but now I wanted nothing more then to leave.

   “Isn’t it wonderful to be home girls? I made arrangements for the house to be cleaned and ready for our return.” Papa said smiling. Both Sky and I put on a false smile for him. While my heart was left in America, she believed hers was in Canada but that was a lie and she needed to understand that he was a jerk and she could do better than him. 

   We arrived back to the home of our childhood. Everything was the same as it was when we left it years ago. Yet it was so different now. We each put our things in our rooms and settled into the sitting room. After a few minutes of sitting silence Papa decided to go out and check the land while Sky and I walked around the home we hadn't seen in a long time. Just as we started to prepare dinner a knock was heard from the front door.

   “How are people already showing up? We have been here all of five hours.” I groaned and opened the door to find a postal messenger. 

   “Letter for Miss Taylor Hewlett.” The man handed the envelope to me and tipped his head quickly before leaving. 

   “Well who was it?” Sky called from the kitchen. I walked in with a smile on my face. “They must not have stayed if you’re happy.” She laughed.

   “I got a letter from Ben.” 

   “What? How? Ships are not that fast.” 

   “He sent it before we left. Isn’t that sweet?” I smiled and read over the letter quickly before hiding it where I knew my father wouldn't find it. “I miss him.”

   “Just a few months and you will be with him again.”

   “Papa will never let me go. I imagine he’d rather have you married off to Simcoe. At least he was on the English side.” There was a time when I wouldn’t have worried this much. When Papa was happy with Anna Strong but then the engagement fell through and Papa went away for a while. 

   “Don’t cry Tay. You know Papa just wants what he thinks is best for us. He cares about us.” 

   “And what he thinks is best is not me being with Ben.” 

   “You don’t know that. Wait and see. Ben won’t be here for a few more months.” Sky tried to calm me. 

   “9 months 23 days. Give or take a day or two.” 

   “A day or two until what my dear?” Papa walked in returning from the land.

   “Tay was just saying it would take a day or so for us to readjust to life here. It has been quite a while since we were here.” Sky quickly covered for me.

   “Ah yes. Don’t worry. It won’t take long then things will be just like they were before that horrid war.” 

   -8 months later-

   Life was anything but back to normal. Just two months after being back Papa met a woman named Elizabeth and married her just four months later. She was a nice woman, who Papa wanted us to call Mother, but she wasn’t Anna. Anna Strong was the woman I wanted to call my mother. All I wanted was to be back in America. That’s where not only Ben was but also Caleb and Anna. 

   “Taylor, are you okay?” Elizabeth asked over dinner, “You look a bit distant.” 

   It was just her, Sky, and I tonight. Papa had been called away to help research a newly discovered planet and would not be home for a week.

   “She’s probably thinking about her Benji.” Sky said without a thought. I kicked her under the table and sent her a glare. 

   Elizabeth’s eyes lit up and she smiled at me, “Oh, who is Benji?”

   I sighed but answered anyway, “His name is Benjamin or Ben. Only Sky calls him Benji. He’s… he’s my…”

“He’s Tay’s fiancé. He’s from America.” Sky answered for me. “He will be here in a month or so to take her back to America.” 

“Your father hasn’t told me this.” Elizabeth said.

“He doesn’t know. I haven’t told him. I don’t know if he would approve. Ben was on the American side during the war. But Papa loves dramatic showings of romance so hopefully by Ben coming here and confessing his undying love for me again Papa will be swayed to let me go back with him.” 

“And I’ll go to find John.” Sky added in once I was done.

“You mean Ben and I will hunt down Simcoe.” I corrected her. 

Elizabeth looked at us extremely confused so before Sky could corrupt her thought I told her the truth about him.

“John Simcoe is who Skylar wants to marry. He is horrible man who has done horrible things and yet she still wants to be with him. He tried to kill Papa many times. Tortured my best friend Caleb to the brink of death. And has killed many of our friends and their family members.” 

“John Graves Simcoe. And he is not all that bad.” Sky tried to defend him but it was no use.

“Oh right how could I forget that name. I imagine he chose that name himself because of all the people he has put in the grave. Do you deny that he did any of the things I just mentioned?”

“We’ve all made mistakes, he’s changed and he’s trying his best. He gave Akinbode his freedom papers and he’s working on abolishing slavery. Isn’t that good enough?” 

“He. Tried. To. Kill. Papa.” 

“That was before he knew me. He wouldn’t dream of doing that now.” 

“Doesn’t matter. He has done nothing for me or anyone in our family expect for you. So Elizabeth that is who Simcoe is and you can probably understand why I want him gone.” I turned from Sky to look at Elizabeth who was wide eyed by this point. 

“He seems to be an interesting man. I cannot judge him without meeting him.” She was always trying to stay on both our good sides hoping one day we would call her ‘mom’.

“Hopefully you won’t. Papa hates him as much I do and will never let him in this house.” I said just as a knock was heard from the door. I left the dining table and opened the door, it was the messenger.

He looked out of breath like he had been running, “I apologize for calling at such a late hour but this letter is urgent.” He handed me an envelope before making his way back to his horse. 

“Who was it, Tay?” Sky asked when I returned. 

“Messenger. Urgent letter for me. Probably Ben, he’s so excited to see me.” I tore open the letter and started reading. I knew immediately it was not from Ben, it wasn’t his handwriting. I read the whole message three times over not believing the words. 

“Tay? What does it say?” Sky leaned over to try and read over my shoulder. 

“He’s not coming.” I dropped the letter on the table as tears started to form.

“What do you mean?” Elizabeth asked as Sky took the letter and started to read aloud.

“Taylor, I felt it was best you knew this so you did not stay in waiting for Ben. He is not leaving America. He has taken a job with the government and he has no time to step away at the moment. Knowing Ben he has probably made promises he will come for you just a little late but I doubt that happens. I am sorry and if you ever need anything you can call upon me. Abe” Sky’s voice was burning with hate by the end, “Dammit Abraham. Tay, you know Abe is an idiot. He probably misunderstood. Ben loves you. He is going to be here.”

“But what if he’s not, Sky? I would have wasted all my time.” 

“Don’t say that. It will be okay.” 

Neither of us noticed Elizabeth had left until she returned with a plate that held fresh made cookies. 

“I made these earlier while you two were out in the field with the horses.” 

“And donkey don’t forget Charles.” I reminded her and took a cookie. “Thank you.”

“You’re right. How could I forget Charles. And you’re welcome. I know how bad heartbreak can hurt.” Elizabeth smiled and sat back down. 

The rest of the week was spent trying to forget Ben and focus on Papa’s return. Once he was home he told us all of his time in the city and all the things he saw. It had been nearly two months since I received the letter from Abe and I had almost gotten over Ben until he showed up on our doorstep. 

“I’m here to see Miss Taylor Hewlett.” Even from upstairs I knew his voice. 

“And who may I ask are you?” Elizabeth’s voice also carried up the stairs. 

“I’m…”

“Ben.” I ran down the stairs and went to the door jumping into his arms. “I thought you weren’t coming. You had to stay in America.”

He let me down with a shocked and confused look, “Why would you think that?” 

I went back upstairs to my room and returned with the letter from Abe. “Abe sent this.” 

Ben took the letter from my hands and read over it. He shook his head multiple times and even rolled his eyes a few times.

“My dear, why would you ever listen Abe? You know he is only capable of limited things. It is true I am late because of my new position with the government but I promised I would return for you.” 

“You know I’m my father’s daughter. We Hewletts tend to over react at times. Like Papa will once he sees you.”

“Don’t worry. We can convince him.” Elizabeth spoke up.

“I hope so. Oh Ben this is my mother Elizabeth. Liz this is Ben, obviously.” I introduced the two.

“I’ve heard a lot about you Ben. It’s a pleasure to meet you in person.” 

“It’s nice to meet you as well Mrs. Hewlett.” Ben smiled and bowed slightly. 

The sound of running was heard through the house and Skylar ran into the room. 

“Who’s here? I saw someone ride up. BENJI! Oh wait I’m mad at you.” Her smile fell.

“Not anymore. We love him again. Abe was being Abe and messed things up.” I laughed and moved away from Ben so Sky could hug him. “Now we just have to tell Papa.” 

And as usually my father had the world’s best timing and returned home at that exact moment. 

“Mister Tallmadge what on earth are you doing here? I did not expect to ever see you again.” 

Ben and I looked at each other before Ben spoke up. “Major I am here to discuss with you a matter which is very important to me. Is there a place we may speak in private?” 

Papa gave him a questioning look but nodded and had Ben follow him to his study. 

“What’s going to happen? What if this doesn’t work?” I had no idea what Ben was planning and if he messed this up then Papa would never let us marry.

“Ben is a smart man, Tay. He will win over Papa and you two will be married in no time. Lets out and see the animals. You’ve haven’t seen your donkey in days.” Sky took my hand and led me outside.

“His name is Charles. Why can’t anyone remember his name? He’s not just a donkey he’s Charles.” I huffed annoyed but followed her anyway with Elizabeth following as well. 

We stayed in the field for what felt like hours before Papa came out to find us. 

“He is a nice fellow. Not what I expected from someone with such a close friendship with Abraham.” I looked at him expecting more. 

“So should we be celebrating?” Elizabeth asked hinting towards an engagement. 

“Has she accepted?” Papa answered and looked over to me. I smiled and hugged him before running into the house to find Ben. “If he did not show up at this time when did she plan on telling me?” He turned to Sky.

“I think him showing up was her plan. You know her, she’s blinded by love like the rest of us.” 

-6 months later- 

Ben and I returned to America shortly after our official engagement. It was wonderful to be back. I felt like I was back in my true home. 

“Damn Benny boy I can’t believe you really convinced her to come back to you.” I heard the voice of my best friend Caleb Brewster. 

“I really only returned so I could see you again Caleb, you know that. I missed my best friend.” I smiled and hugged him.

“Don’t let your sister hear you say that.” 

“She isn’t here. She’ll arrive in a few months. That is if we can keep her away from Canada and Simcoe.” I groaned.

Caleb rolled his eyes and laughed, “She’s still hung up on that arse?” 

“Very much so. I still think we should kill him.” 

“I agree and we both know Ben does as well.” 

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking and catching each other up on our lives. It was during this conversation I brought up Anna Strong. 

“How is Anna? Ben told me Selah had returned.”

“Aye he did. They took the tavern back. Things are somewhat back to normal. She misses you and Skylar. Asked Ben about you anytime he got a letter.” 

“Is she in the tavern now? I want to see her.” I wanted to tell her about my time away and find out how her life was going now. Caleb nodded and we walked to the Strong Tavern. 

It was past working hours but we knew Anna wouldn’t mind. We walked in and saw Selah and Anna talking. 

“Sorry we’re closed for the day.” Anna said without looking away from her husband. 

“Even for your best friend?” 

Anna turned and smiled when she saw me. “Tay! I didn’t know you and Ben had gotten back. It’s been so long.” She hugged me tightly before turning to Selah. “Selah, this is Tay, Ben’s fiancé. Tay, this is my husband Selah.” 

“I’ve heard quite a lot about you, Miss.” True to the stories from Ben, Selah Strong was not a man of many words.

“No need for formalities. Just call me Tay. Anna I have so much to tell you. So much has happened and I need your help with something.” 

“And what might that be?” She asked.

“Sky is still head over heels for that vile Simcoe. Her plan is come here for the wedding then travel Canada to find him. Papa and Elizabeth, she’s Papa’s wife, will be here but they’ve already tried to stop her and it’s not working. So I figure maybe if you try to talk some sense into her when she gets here.” 

“Talk some sense into her? I’ll beat some sense into her. How can she still have feelings for that man after all he did?”

“She claims he has changed. I highly doubt that is true.” I shook my head. “I say we go to Canada, find him, and I don’t know maybe kill him.” 

“I second that.” Caleb agreed.

“While I too agree, we don’t have time. Our wedding is only two weeks away. Skylar will be here any day now.” Ben added, I was sure this was Ben’s way of trying to keep me out of danger and away from Simcoe. 

He was right though. There was no time to even come up with a plan on how to kill Simcoe, let alone get to Canada and find him. 

We stayed at Strong’s Tavern until late into the night. When it got to the point where I was falling asleep on Ben’s shoulder we decided it was time to return home. Ben practically carried me upstairs to our room and helped me out of my dress. 

“Where are you going?”  I hold onto his hand when he goes to leave.

“I just have to finish somethings in my study. I’ll be back shortly. I love you. Sleep well.” He smiled and closed the door as he left. I fell asleep almost as soon as he walked out.

When I woke up the next morning Ben was no where to be seen. His side of the bed didn’t even look like it was slept in. I got myself dressed and walked downstairs. I found Ben in his study asleep on his desk. I stood behind him and gently shook his shoulder.

“Ben, darling, wake up. It’s morning time to get up.” He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. “And this is why I say you shouldn’t work late into the night, you always fall asleep here. Come on, I’ll make breakfast.” 

We walked to the kitchen and Ben sat down almost falling asleep again.

“What time did you fall asleep?” I asked him as I started to make pancakes. 

“I don’t know. Around 4 maybe.”

“Ben thats not good for you.” 

“The thing he does that’s good for him is having you around. Oh breakfast I’m just in time.” As usual Caleb walked into our home like he owned the place and sat down next to Ben.

I laughed and sat a plate down in front of each of them. “You know Caleb one of these days you’re going to waltz in here and see something you probably shouldn’t.” 

“Nah I’ve seen Benny boy without his pants and I doubt you’re bad looking.” He smirked. 

I smacked on the side of the head, “You shouldn’t speak to a lady that way.” 

“I didn’t know Sky was here already.” Caleb laughed. If Sky heard him she would have hit him too. She may be able to dress up and act fancy when it was absolutely necessary but she much rather preferred to be doing something like shooting a pistol compared to going to a party. 

“She will be here any day now. As long as she didn’t run off to find Simcoe first. Canada is a big place she’ll never make it.” I noticed Ben and Caleb sharing a look before going back to eating. “What? What do you know? I know that look and I know you know something. So tell me, come on tell me.” 

They looked at each other again and Caleb shoved a piece of pancake in his mouth before gesturing that he couldn’t speak while eating.

Ben sighed and ran his hand down his face, “We may know where Simcoe is currently. Word is he is returning here to get the last of his belongings.” 

“I thought everything he left here was burned?”

“He had some connections left who seemed to like him enough to hold onto a few things.”

“So that means it will be easier to kill him? Ambush him on his way here. We’ll make it look like a robbery.” 

“Sweetheart put the knife down. You’re scaring me.” Ben stood up and took the knife from my hands. I hadn’t even noticed that I was holding it. “We are looking at our options. We can’t just kill him out right. We need probable cause.” 

“Probable cause!” Caleb finally stopped shoving food in his mouth and spoke again. “Probable cause! Benny look at everything he did to us. To our families. Remember what he did to…” 

“I remember what he did. I will not never forget but it’s been so long that if for some reason we are taken to court they will find a way to hang us. I promise he is going to pay for everything he did but we have to do it responsibly.” Ben interrupted him. None of us wanted Caleb to finish his last sentence. 

Before anyone could say anything the front door opened. 

“Tay! Benji! I have arrived!” Sky yelled.

“In the dining room,” I called back.

She dropped her luggage at the door and made her way to us. Once she was close enough I hugged her tight. It had been so long since we had last seen each other.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been so long. Are you hungry? There’s more food in the kitchen.” I said as our hug broke. 

“No thanks. I actually ate with Anna and Selah. I ran into them on my way here. It was funny at first. Seeing her without Papa. He and Liz send their love. They should be here next week. They left a few days after I did.” 

“Really? That’s sooner than expected. The wedding isn’t for a month.” 

“They missed you. You have the room don’t you?”

“Yes. We do. I’ll just have to clean the spare room. I moved everything out of the room for you into the other spare room. I guess I could move it all to Caleb’s room.” 

“Caleb lives here?” Sky looked over to Caleb who was once again eating. 

“No. He just has a room for those nights he’s too drunk to walk the extra few steps next door. He won’t need it while Papa and Liz are here. Boys clean the kitchen. Sky, I’ll show you upstairs.”

We left the boys downstairs and I helped Sky carry her bags to her room. Then we went to clean out a place for our parents.

“Why on earth do you have this much furniture? Why isn’t downstairs yet?” The room was full of couches and side tables. 

“We haven’t gotten around to it. Ben had everything moved up here before we moved in so that the bottom level could be cleaned. He wanted to make sure it was perfect for me. We haven’t had a need for it. Come on help me move it. It won’t take long.” 

We were able to move everything in a short amount of time then headed back downstairs. Luckily nothing was on fire. Caleb had a bad habit of almost burning down my house. 

“Everything is still in one piece. I’m shocked.” I looked around for any sign of fire. 

“Not everything. I broke a plate again. Sorry.” Caleb held up some shards of broken plate. “I’ll replace it after I finish helping Abe. Dumb arse still can’t get his door to shut properly.” He cleaned the final pieces of broken dish before leaving. 

“Abe is still causing problems?” Sky asked.

“Abe is always causing problems.” I replied. “Now catch me up on what has happened back in Scotland.” 

-One week later- 

Everything was set up and ready for Papa and Liz to visit, the house was clean, we had plenty of food, and Ben promised he would keep Abe as far away as he could until the actual day of the wedding.

“Are you sure it looks okay? Maybe we should wash the windows again.”

“It’s fine, Tay. It’s perfect. Besides I don’t think they would care. I’m sure they are just going to be happy to see you.”

“And not Abe. You did tell him to stay away right? I don’t want him to upset Papa.” 

Ben stood straighter, almost stiff, and looked anywhere but in my eyes which meant he hadn’t talked to Abe.

“Ben you promised. If you don’t talk to him I will and we both know that will not end pleasantly for anyone. It’s just for two weeks. Please go now. They will be here any day now.” I looked up to him with the most pitiful look I could muster up.

“Fine. I’ll go. Just know he probably won’t listen.” Ben said before heading out of the house. 

“Where is he off to?” Sky asked coming back into the house after her morning walk. 

“He’s going to tell Abe he isn’t allowed anywhere near this house or Papa until the day of the wedding. I don’t want him to do anything that might upset Papa. He’s done enough. Abe probably won’t listen but that will give you good reason to shoot him off the property since we both know Ben won’t do it.” 

“I can shoot him? Really?” Her eyes lit up at the thought.

“If he shows up anywhere near here or Papa. I want everything to be perfect. As long as Abe and Simcoe don’t show up it will be the perfect day. Really we only need to worry about Abe. Simcoe doesn’t have any idea about any of this.” 

“Right, of course. John has no idea about anything this.” Sky then went quiet for a moment which only meant one thing, she was lying.

“Skylar, what did you do?” I turned to look at her.

She laughed a bit and her eyes darted around, “I didn’t do anything. Nope nothing.” 

I continued to look at her with a threatening stare until she broke.

“I may have written to John to tell him I was returning to the states. He doesn’t know about Papa being here. I just told him I was coming see you and to return some of his things I hid away.” 

So she was his connection in the states. If she wasn’t my sister I probably would have killed her with my bare hands. I took a moment to compose my emotions before speaking again.

“Why would think it was a good idea to tell him to come here? Mail him his things. Or better yet burn them. Skylar, how many times must you be reminded of the things he did to our friends, to our family, to… Papa.” 

“He’s different with me. He loves me. Besides he was just doing what he thought was best. When he gets here, I’ll have him apologize. You have to learn to like him Tay. What’s going to happen when I marry him?” 

As soon as the words left her mouth I smacked her across the face. 

“You know that if you marry that vile monster, you will be disowned. Not just by Papa but by me, Ben, Caleb, and everyone here. You will have no one but your precious John. Which is more important to you? The family that has loved and cared for you your whole life or a man who you barely know and barely have spent any time with outside of the time you were kidnapped. The one good thing that man did was saving you but he also tainted your view of him. It’s like you worshiped him after that. Had Caleb not been injured I would have sent him after you. But why was he injured? Oh because Simcoe was torturing him! I will admit he was able to hide his joy in that well because when I came to him to help find you he made no mention of having my best friend locked in a cell on the verge of death. I think you should take time to reconsider your affection for him before it is too late.” 

She said nothing and walked straight out the front door. I followed her and stopped on the steps as she continued to walk away.

“Don’t come back until you’ve made up your mind. I don’t want to see you until you have realized what you really want out of this situation.” By this point she was gone and I was yelling to the wind. I went back in the house and waited for Ben to return from his visit with Abe.

**

“Abe wasn’t too happy about your request but Mary promised to try and keep him away from the house.” Ben said as he walked in. “I didn’t think it would be that easy but it… Why are you crying? What happened?” He sat next to me and wiped away my tears with his thumb. 

“Skylar. She still has it in her head she is going to marry Simcoe. Did you know she was his connection here? She’s the one holding on to his belongings. I told her she needs to figure out what she wants and not to return until she had everything straightened out. If she gains a husband she will lose a father and a sister.” 

Ben didn’t reply and I didn’t want him to say anything. I just wanted him be here. His presence itself was calming. We stayed this way for quite a while before someone knocked on the door. Ben stood and went to answered it. I heard the door open followed by the sound of hushed voices. Then I saw my Papa followed by Elizabeth.

“Do you know where she went?” I knew he was referring to Sky. That was probably what the whispering was about, Ben telling him what happened.

**

After walking for nearly an hour Sky realized how far she had gone. She had to be miles away from Ben and Tay’s home. She sat down on nearby fallen tree and thought about what Tay had said. Maybe she was right, Simcoe did do horrible things but he loved Sky. He told her many times of his love for her. She had never told Tay or her father but she had stayed in touch with Simcoe while in Scotland. Sky did not have much faith in religion but she could not doubt that there was someone or thing looking out for her since she was always able to get his letters from the postman without anyone in the house finding out.

She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind her.

“Sky, love, what are you doing here?” Sky jumped when she heard his voice. 

“John!” She jumped up and hugged him. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too but that doesn’t answer my question. Why are you alone in the woods?”

“Tay and I had a fight. I needed to get away for a while and gather my thoughts. What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t going to arrive for a month.” Sky asked him while still holding him in her arms. 

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I had to see you.” Simcoe broke their embrace and held her at arms length looking at her like he was trying to memorize every detail of her look. 

“You can’t be here. If Tay or anyone else finds out they will kill you. You must leave. Please for your own safety.” Sky begged him.

“I am not afraid of your family. I am a grown man, a Queen’s Ranger. I can handle myself. Do not worry about me. I have changed. I’m not the same man I was before. Let me meet your family as the man I am now. It may take time but I’m sure they will change their minds in time.” 

Sky thought it over and debated the chances anyone would shoot him. The chance of that happening was high if they had weapons on their persons but her sister had a rule about weapons in the house. The only ones Sky had seen was the gun Ben kept in a trunk in their bedroom and the one by the door. The only reason Tay allowed them was because they were the some of the ones he used in the war and Ben told her it made him feel better knowing he could protect her should someone break into the house in the night. 

After her internal debate she finally made her decision. “Okay. We can go but if anything happens we will leave immediately. No killing.” 

“No killing.” He agreed and took her hand in his as they walked towards Tay and Ben’s house.

**

Ben looked out the window and held in a groan. He turned and looked at me. “Sweetheart I need you to stay calm. Please be as calm as you can be.” 

“I’m always calm. Why?” I walked to the window and looked out. “Oh Sky’s back. That’s great. I’ll set her a place for a dinner.”

“Do you not see who is with her?” Ben questioned as he continued to watch Sky and Simcoe walk up the path that lead to the house.

“I’m in the dinning room I can’t hear you.” I shouted to him. 

The front door opened and Sky walked in with Simcoe in tow. Ben was standing in front of them within seconds. 

“Skylar have you gone mad? Your father is here. Why on earth have you brought him here?”

Before Sky could answer, I returned from the dinning room. “Sister, I’m so glad you’re back. I was so worried something had happened to you. Don’t worry you didn’t miss dinner. I just set your place. Papa and Liz are here. They can’t wait to see you. Come now, dinner is waiting.” I made no mention of Simcoe nor paid him any mind. I took Sky’s hand and walked to the dinning room. Ben and Simcoe glanced at each other before following. 

“Look Papa. Sky has returned. Isn’t that lovely?” I said as I sat down at one of the empty seats. 

“Yes I see. She brought someone with her.” Hewlett replied through his teeth. His eyes burned as he stared at Simcoe. 

“Papa I think you’re seeing things. No one else is here. You must be tired from the trip. I suggest going straight to bed after dinner.” I smiled and started eating. 

Everyone else in the room shared a confused and concerned face. Ben sat down next to me and Sky motioned for Simcoe to wait in the sitting room. Conversation during dinner consisted mostly of Papa and Liz’s travel. Anytime someone tried to bring up Simcoe I dismissed them and changed the topic. At one point I even brought up a trip to visit Judge Woodhull’s gravesite just to avoid Simcoe. After dinner was finished and the dishes cleaned Papa, Liz, and Sky went to the sitting room where Simcoe was still waiting. I tried to follow but Ben pulled me upstairs. 

“Darling, while I much enjoy time with you alone I think it’s important I spend time with my family while they are here.” 

“What are you doing? You can’t just make him disappear by denying his presence.” 

I went stiff and turned away from him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Ben. I’m not denying Papa is here.” 

“Tay, you know who I am talking about. Sky brought Simcoe here and you won’t acknowledge it. I don’t know why. Talk to me please.” He turned me around and held my face in his hands forcing me to look at him.

I sighed, took his hands off my face, and rested my head on his chest. Ben knew that meant I was close to breaking down, something I did not do often. 

“If I acknowledge he’s here then I have to acknowledge that my sister cares nothing for my happiness or yours or Papa’s or anyone in this town. It shows that she cares about him and herself more than she does about us. She did the one thing I asked her not to do.” 

“Sweetheart, she must have her reason. She wouldn’t do this for no reason. You know I am about as happy as you with what is happening. We must have clear heads and hear them out. Do you want me to hold my gun while he talks? If he says anything to upset you I’ll shoot him.” Ben was surprised when he felt me nod yes.  “Go downstairs. I’ll be there soon.” 

I went downstairs and sat in one of the empty arm chairs. I didn’t look at Simcoe or my sister who were sitting on one of the couches. Ben came down a few minutes later gun in hand. He sat next to me and turned to look at Sky and Simcoe.

“Skylar, please explain why you have brought Simcoe into our home even though it goes against the wishes of your sister and I.”

Sky’s eyes darted from me to Simcoe a few times before speaking. “He wants to apologize for everything. He is a changed man. Please give him give a chance.” She looked to Simcoe as a signal for him to speak.

“I have changed. If you allow me, I will show you I have learned from the error of my ways. I know I have done things to you and your family that are unforgivable but I do hope you will allow me the chance to prove I have changed.” When he spoke he looked directly at me knowing I would be the hardest person to get forgiveness from.

Without a word I stood up and left the room. I heard footsteps falling and knew instantly Caleb was following me. His heavy footfalls a dead give away. 

“So, still wanna kill him, aye?” 

“You know my feelings towards weaponry, right?”

“Well yes but by the way..”

“It took everything in my power not to take that gun from Ben and kill him right there in front of everyone. I don’t understand how Sky can do this to me, to all of us.” 

Caleb pulled me into a hug as I cried. 

“I don’t understand it either. I want him dead as much as you do. Ben feels the same. I imagine your dear Papa does as well. The only one who disagrees is your sister. Don’t worry though, this will be handled. I have a feeling things are going to change soon.” He promised as we walked back to the house. When we returned Sky and Simcoe had left. 

Papa and Liz stayed up long enough to say good night to me then headed up to the room we had offered to them. Caleb decided to stay the night as well in case Simcoe had anything planned. 

Little did we know then that Caleb’s feeling about things changing would be correct. Two nights before our wedding someone we never thought we’d see again was on our doorstep. It was late nearly 2 in the morning and it appeared I was the only one who was woken up by the knock.

“I am very sorry for the late hour but please tell me she’s here. I have to see her. I was told she was in town for your wedding. Congratulations. ” John Andre looked like a broken man. Which wasn’t that surprising seeing as he had spent nearly over a year in a prison cell. In all honestly he should have been hanged but Ben was able to get him a prison sentence as to not cause my sister the heartbreak of losing him. It took a lot of convincing but Ben was good with words. 

Andre was her first love but he was chasing after Peggy Shippen leaving Sky to fool herself into thinking she loved Simcoe.

“Keep your voice down.” I hushed him and pushed him away from the doorway before stepping out and closing the door behind. “There are three men in there that are still happy to hang you.” 

“Three? Besides your fiancé who else do you house?”

“His best friend and fellow solider, Caleb Brewster. And my father is currently with us. He wants you dead because you broke my sisters heart.” I crossed my arms as I spoke and gave him a glare.

“That is why I’m here. I want to talk to Skylar. All those months alone gave me much time to think and I realized Peggy is nothing compared to her. 

Skylar is who I truly love and she must know that. I will understand if she has found another but I would still like to speak to her. If I may. Why are you smiling like that? Please stop it’s scary. How is your face smiling that wide? That must hurt.” Andre took a full step back from me. 

“I will happily take you to my sister but it is very late. Please come in and rest. You can stay in the room intended for my sister. But stay quiet and don’t leave the room until I come for you.” 

He nodded in agreement and I let him into the house showing him to the upstairs room. 

I quickly returned to bed and prayed Ben was still sleeping. Thankfully he was and I didn’t have to answer any questions about who was at the door.

The next morning Ben took Papa and Liz around the town showing Liz everything and Papa the things that had changed. They had asked me to do it but I told them I was up late that night which wasn’t a complete lie. I was up late I just didn’t give them a reason. Caleb had gone back to his own home so that he could change clothes. 

As soon as everyone was out of the house I pulled Andre out of the room he had been hiding in. I handed him a cloak and instructed him to pull the hood tight. 

“I don’t want anyone to see you. Come, hurry.” 

We made our way to the local inn and went straight to Sky’s room. It only took a few threats to the inn keeper to find out which room was hers. 

“Breakfast! Time for waffles and chocolate! Just put it…” Sky’s sentence was cut off by one of the loudest screams I’ve ever heard. 

“Surprise. He wants to talk. I know Simcoe isn’t here, I saw him walking towards town, so you are free to talk. I love you, sister.” I shoved Andre into the room and closed the door. I considered staying and listening in on what happened but decided against incase Simcoe did return. I did not want to have any chance of seeing him. 

I quickly left the inn and went in search of one of my friends. I walked into the tavern and found Anna cleaning tables. 

“Oh Anna, I have the most marvelous news!” I said in a sing-song voice before sitting down at the table she was wiping down. 

“Are you going to share this news? Or make me guess?”

“I don’t have time for you to guess because you never will. You’ll want to sit down for this.” I waited for her to sit down before continuing my story. “Andre has returned. He showed up on my doorstep around 2 in the morning last night. He said that during his time in prison he realized how much he truly loved Sky and not Peggy. He wanted to talk to her and express his love to her!”

Anna took a minute to process everything I said before speaking, “But she loves Simcoe now? She gave up on Andre because he was chasing Peggy.” 

“No. She only thinks she loves Simcoe. What she really loves is the idea of Simcoe. Someone who showers her with attention, complements her, doesn’t ignore her at all, is clingy. I could go on but you get the idea. Once she realizes where her true love lies she will leave Simcoe, be with her one true love, they will attend my wedding, and everyone will live happily ever after. Except Simcoe because he will be dead. Yay.” Anyone within five miles could hear the cheerfulness in my voice. 

“Tay, your wedding is tomorrow. You think Andre is going to be able to win Sky back in 24 hours? Even if he does, Edmund won’t accept him. You know how protective he is of you girls.” 

“He’s letting me marry an American rebel spy. I’m sure he will be happy she’s not with Simcoe.” I shrugged and looked towards the door that had just opened. 

“I heard my name. I came to see if you needed my assistance.” Simcoe, once again thinking he owned the place, waltzed in and sat down. “Mrs. Strong, hello, I’d like a drink. Please.” 

I could tell he added the please as an after thought to try and show me he could be polite. I scowled at him and said goodbye to Anna before leaving. I figured by this point in the day Ben, Papa, and Liz would be back at home. Thankfully I was correct and Caleb was there as well. 

Liz seemed to notice my happiness and asked what happened while the group was gone.

“Well, shocking news, Andre has returned. He is currently confessing his love for Skylar.” I went on to explain everything that occurred the night before and this morning. “So there you have it. By this time tomorrow Ben and I will be married and Sky will not longer be in love with Simcoe. It’ll be perfect.” 

“You got out of bed in the night to answer the door without me? It could have been a murderer.” Of course that was the part of the story Ben caught. 

“Ben that is not the important part of this story. What is important is that Andre is going to win Sky back and Simcoe will be gone!” 

“What are you doing here?” Sky’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Ben had you sent to prison.” 

“My love the only real permeant sentence is death. I truly am thankful to the rebel major who spared my life.” 

“He did it for me. It wasn’t easy but he figured I would be upset if you were dead.”

“Is that your way of saying you wouldn’t care if I lived or died?” He stepped forward and tried to take her hand but she moved a step back. 

“Why do you care? Why are you here? Why aren’t you with Peggy?”

  “The answer to all three question is you. During my time in prison I had so much time to myself to think about my life and the choices I made that lead me where I was. I realized that I did not love her but I loved you. My biggest regret was that I had broken your heart to chase after someone who would never level to you. She could never live up to your intellect, your wit, your beauty. You are the only woman I will ever truly love. Tell me if you have found another to hold your heart and I will leave at once and never return. But I pray that you tell me otherwise and I have the chance to gain back your love.” At this point he was begging on his knees. 

Sky was in shock. She never excepted to see him again let alone have him confess his undying love for her. She was speechless. Her emotions were a mix of happiness for his confession, anger for the original betrayal, and confusion about her love for Simcoe. She truly believed she loved him but she also loved Andre. 

“I need a moment. Please.” She was finally able to open her mouth and let those few words out. 

“Of course. I will see if the inn keeper has a room for me. Though I imagine your sisters invitation to stay in her home is open. The bed was very comfortable.” 

Sky laughed, “You stayed with Tay? What did Ben say?”

“He didn’t know. She was able to hide me away before he or your father saw me. I will tell you the story at a later time. Take time to think. I will return for your answer.” He simply smiled at her before leaving the room. 

While Andre was getting settled into his own room at the inn Simcoe returned. 

“You’re upset.” The simple words from Simcoe caused more tears from Sky. She had made her decision and now had to tell everyone. 

“I’m sorry, John. So sorry.” She whispered and wiped the tears from her face. 

“What are you talking about? What happened while I was gone?” 

“Andre. He has returned.” She sighed and decided that it was best to be truthful with him, “I love him, John. I will forever be grateful for the time we shared but I must go to him.”

Simcoe said nothing but his face was a rainbow of emotions ranging from anger to sadness. 

“If this is what you want, I will respect this decision. Tell your sister how this ended. That I didn’t yell or throw things. No guns were fired. I peacefully walked away.” He kissed her on the cheek and took his bag. “You know my heart will always be a shrine to our love. Should you ever need anything you know how to contact me. Goodbye Skylar.” 

As he walked down the hall to the staircase he noticed Andre exiting his room. Simcoe looked at Andre for a split second before stepping onto the staircase. 

After Simcoe walked by him Andre returned to Sky. She was staring out the window watching Simcoe walk away.

“My dear?” Andre stood behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. She turned into him and rested her cheek on his chest. 

“If it isn’t obvious I have chosen you.” She felt the movement of Andre’s chest as he chuckled slightly.

“I figured as such. If you need time, I understand.” 

“We should probably talk about a few things, like my father and future brother-in-law hating you.” 

Andre agreed and they each took a seat at the small table in the room. The couple talked for hours even skipping lunch. It wasn’t until Tay arrived to see how things had gone that they finally left the room. 

“John Andre you have given me the best wedding gift I could ever ask for, unless someone kills Simcoe than that will be the best. For right now though, you are the winner.” Tay clapped and smiled, “It’s dinner time. Come you need to meet everyone in a new light. Except Liz because you haven’t met her at all so clean slate with her. Come along hurry up the rain is starting and I didn’t bring the carriage we have to walk.” 

Just as the first flash of lightening struck the trio returned to Ben and Tay’s home where the family was waiting for them. Once the introductions were down the interrogation started. All three men, Ben, Caleb, and Hewlett, questioned Andre on his motives and intentions. It seemed all his answers lived up to what they wanted and Andre was invited to stay and attend the wedding happening the next day. 

We all sat down to dinner and discussed the plans for what would happen at the wedding. 

“I think all the guest are in town except George and Martha. The letter they sent said they would most likely arrive late into the night. While I was at the inn today I made them a reservation.” A moment after I said this a knock came from the door. 

Ben stood and went to answer it. “It’s a good thing you made extra servings of dinner, Tay.” Ben said as he returned with George and Martha following. I quickly stood and hugged them both. 

“It’s been far too long since I’ve last seen you.” 

“We would have been here sooner but an incident occurred that caused us to be late.” George explained as he and Martha sat down. “During the storm our carriage unfortunately hit a man. We were able to locate your towns doctor and he is being cared for there.”

“I wish we knew his name. I hope he is okay.” Martha added. “But that shouldn’t hinder the excitement of tomorrow’s events.” 

We changed the subject back to the wedding and the unnamed man was not mentioned again. Shortly after dinner plates were washed and put away everyone went to bed. Sky and Andre graciously offered to show the Washingtons to the inn. 

“Are you nervous?” Ben asked as we got into bed. 

“A little. Mainly I’m worried about tripping as I walk. Are you nervous?” 

“Not all. Tomorrow is going to the best day of our lives.”

“Such a romantic. We should sleep. The faster we sleep the faster we wake up. The faster we wake up the faster the we can get married.” We both laughed and went to bed. 

The morning came quickly and soon Sky, Liz, and Anna were whisking me away from Ben to get me dressed. 

“Stop fidgeting. I can’t curl your hair if you keep moving.” Anna ordered as she wrapped my hair around a hot curling rod. 

“She can’t help it she’s excited.” Sky laughed as she and Liz worked on pinning their hair styles into place. “She’s just so happy to rid herself of the Hewlett name.” 

“That is not at all true.” I stuck my tongue out at her and laughed. 

“Are you calling me a liar?” She gasped.

“Well I ain’t calling you a truther!” I came back at her which sent us all into a fit of laughter.

After we were all done joking around and getting ready we made our way to the church. As usual I was very early. I had a habit of always being the first one to an event.

“Why are we here before the reverend?” Sky asked sitting next to me on one of the benches. 

“One, you know I like to be super early and the first to an event. Two, Ben’s father is marrying us I’m sure he’s with Ben.” 

The four of us waited about an hour before Reverand Townsend arrived. 

“This is why you are so good for Benjamin. You will make sure he is always on time.” He chuckled and kissed my cheek. “You look lovely my dear. Ben won’t know what hit him.” 

The guest started arriving and soon we were just waiting for Ben and Caleb. 

“Tay, stop moving or he will see you. This is why the bride is suppose to be the last to arrive not the first.” Anna said as she pushed me back behind the back of the church wall. We had moved outside to hide me away before Ben arrived. 

Finally Papa and Caleb arrived and told us Ben was ready and waiting in the church. Liz and Anna made their way in and took their seats. Caleb and Sky joined arms and started the walk to the end of the aisle. They had a plan to high five at the end and I imagine from the few laughs that they actually did it. 

Then it was my turn. Papa took my arm and we stood at the door for a good minute without speaking. I turned to him and noticed tears on his cheeks. 

“Papa…” I smiled and wiped away the tears.

“My little girl. All grown up and getting married. I’m so proud of you. I’ve watched you go from spoiled little girl who thought the stars revolved around her to one of the most amazing young ladies I have had the privilege of knowing. I am honored to be your father. Raising you and your sister will always be the best thing I ever did. I think I did it right. You’ve gotten this far. Benjamin is a fine man. I know you will have a wonderful like together. Even if you are far from home. Don’t forget your dear old Papa okay?”

“I could never forget you Papa. And I think you did a pretty good job raising us. Maybe not the best in the eyes of the King seeing as I’m marrying an American spy but you know King George is jerk and not here. Then there’s the whole Sky and Simcoe thing but he’s gone now. Hopefully. So yeah you did pretty great. Now we should probably go in before Ben thinks I ran off on him.” 

The doors open and slowly we walked towards the end of the aisle. I looked up and found Ben’s sapphire eyes within a second. He looked so handsome wearing his uniform which was finally all cleaned up. As soon as we locked eyes he blushed. Once Papa and I reached the end I released his hand and took Ben’s. Papa kissed my cheek and sat down next to Liz. 

“We are gathered here today to witness the union of my idiot son and this beautiful young lady he somehow tricked into marrying him. Really dear, blink twice if you want to run.” I imagine if this were anyone else wedding he would have taken his job seriously but the Reverend and I had the same sense of humor. 

Soon it was time for the vows. I suggested just using the generic ones but Ben begged for ones we wrote ourself and I finally agreed.

“And now for the vows Benjamin she told me to make you go first.” the Reverend looked to his son.

Ben shook his head, “Of course she did.” He looked directly at me and took my hands, “I knew I wanted to marry you the first time I heard you speak. You were arguing with your sister about the war. Standing in the middle of town you acted as if no one was listening, including your father’s men who were standing no more than 10 feet away. Once I heard you say, ‘The Americans are going to win the war because they have better outfits.’ I knew I wanted to find out who you were. It took many attempts but I got your name and tracked you down. You were leaving Strong’s tavern and without thinking I took your arm. You turned and I’m pretty sure you were ready to kill me but instead you said “You have sapphire eyes. I want my children to have sapphire eyes.” I could on and quote every word you’ve ever said to me or even just around me. I hope to one day be able to quote every word that ever leaves your mouth. You are truly the love of my life and I hope to never be separated from you. I promise I will do my best to be the best husband you could ever dream of having. I love you.” 

Then it was my turn. 

“First, I didn’t cry just now so I win the bet.” I looked at Mary Woodhull who was sitting with her son Thomas. I rarely cry and she bet that I would cry at Ben’s vows. “Okay now I can start. I was totally going to punch you the first time we met. I mean really you should know better than to grab a lady by the arm late at night. Then I saw your eyes and I fell in love with them. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with the rest of you. Someone once said “There are dreamers and there are realist in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers, and the realist would find the realist, but more often than not, the opposite is true. See, the dreamers need the realist to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realist? Well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground”. I like to think I’m a dreamer who has found my realist in you. I never thought I would find someone, besides my father and sister, who could put up with me the way you do. I know I can be stubborn and headstrong. Sometimes I jump the gun and get over excited over the little things. For a long time I flew too close to the sun and you brought me back down. And from what Caleb has told me I like to believe I’ve help you fly even just a little. Everyday I am thankful to have you. I love you with a love I never thought I had. I promise to love you with that love everyday for the rest of forever.”

Pretty sure everyone in the room was crying at that point. I can be pretty romantic if I try hard enough. 

Then it was time for rings. Caleb took them from his pocket and gave them to us. I carefully slipped the gold band on Ben’s finger and then he dropped mine. Thankfully Sky was able to grab it before it rolled away and Ben put it on my finger. He looked up from my hand and smiled adorably. 

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Ben gently kissed me then took my hand as we walked down the aisle. We went back to the Strong’s tavern for a reception. 

“Congratulations, you look lovely.” I heard Andre’s voice behind me and turned to see him and Sky together. 

“Thank you. I am so happy you are here and not that other person who almost tried to be here. Thankfully he isn’t here at all. Who even knows where Simcoe is currently? Don’t answer that. I don’t care because he isn’t here.” 

“Did you say a Simcoe was suppose to be here?” Martha Washington cut in as she walked up to hug me and Ben. George was off talking with Papa. “I ask because that is the name of the man our carriage hit last night. I saw the doctor this morning and asked his name.”

“Is he dead?” I said with such excitement in my voice that even Ben gave me a disapproving look.

“Thankfully no. He will live. Sadly they had to take both his legs. He’ll never walk again.” 

“He’ll be fine. Let’s change the subject. Weren’t Ben’s vows precious? He’s wonderful.” Really I could have gone on about Simcoe but today was my day. Well also kind of Ben’s day but mostly mine. 

The reception party went one for a few hours before everyone parted ways. Our immediate families, including Caleb, the Strongs, and Andre, returned to our home with us. 

We were all packed for our honeymoon, we were gong to France for a whole month. Sky helped me out of my wedding dress into one more suitable for travel.

“Be careful. Don’t get into fights. Don’t get hurt. If anyone tries to hurt you..”

“Papa, you’re talking to me not Sky. She gets hurt and into fights not me. Plus I have Ben to protect me.” I laughed as Papa continued on with is lists. Liz was able to stop him and they both hugged us goodbye. 

This pattern seemed to continue with Ben’s family before just our friends were left. Anna and Selah only stayed a few minutes longer before wishing us luck and saying goodbye. 

Caleb hugged me tight, even lifting me off the a ground a bit, then released me. “I know everyone said this but be careful. And have fun. Bring my Benny back to me. I promise the house will look the exact same when you get back.” 

Sky laughed, “I promise that I’ll make sure Caleb keeps his promise. Benjamin if anything happens to my sister I suggest you run. Though I will find you. I will kill you. Then I will throw your body into a fire.”

“I promise to make sure nothing happens.” Ben laughed causing her to hit him and tell him how serious she was. 

“Sky be nice. Please please please make sure Caleb keeps his promise. I do want to return to a house not a pile ash.” I heard Caleb grumble in the background about not burning anything down. “Andre, I would greatly appreciate having you and my sister for dinner once we return. I would like to get to you know better and outside the military.” 

“Of course. I look forward it. Have a pleasant trip. France is a beautiful country.” 

“Thank you. Watch out for my sister. She can be a hand full at times.” After I made that comment Sky stuck her tongue out at me. 

We said our final goodbye before Ben loaded our trunks onto a carriage. He helped me up before taking his own seat. 

“I can finally call you my wife. That makes me so happy.”

“And I can call you my husband. Today was perfect. Besides finding out Simcoe was still alive.”

“I swear if you mention Simcoe one time on this trip I will leave you in France.” 

“Thats fine. I can go find Layafette. I’m sure he would be happy to have me in his home.” 

“You are the worst human being I have ever met.” 

“Lies. I am the best. You married me. You had the choice so you can’t complain. You chose me.” I laughed and rested my head against his shoulder.

“Yes, I did and I am very thankful for that.”

~~A few years later~~

After our honeymoon Ben and I returned home to, thankfully, a not burned down house. Our first children, twin boys, were born a little over a year after our wedding, we named them George Washington and Edmund Samuel. Sky and Andre were in the midst of planning their own wedding, which everyone was very excited about. Papa and Liz discovered a new planet and were currently writing a book about it. Caleb was, well, still Caleb. He took his role of Uncle Caleb very seriously. For the most part everyone was happy, healthy, and thriving. Expect Simcoe because no one ever heard from him again after the town doctor stuck him on a boat to England. He might be dead who knows or cares. Not me. 

[illufinch]

stuff about fairell and soleil and nisk bc i wanna talk about them and no ones awake

background: fairell and nisk are super old ocs of mine. nisk is actually one of my ocs from like 2008 he started as a black sprite and got redesigned into a dog. now he is dark matter doggo. fairell started as a space girl, cat themed with like a cat ear helmet nd everything. i kept meaning to draw her but just didn’t :/

soleil is losely based off one of my Favorite OCS, ceol, a regular dude with a deer for a head and also he is my husband, we are married, i just love deer heads i can’t help it’s who i am. thirsty for that 1/4th furry. ANYWAY soleil can be like. his daughter or something. so technically my daughter. told u im thirst

the space story is fairell works for USP- united space psomething- as a scavenger/salvager. she goes to planets where colonization failed and retrieves important/expensive stuff, documents, anything left behind by colonists. her job is to find the important stuff before the planets nature takes it first. nisk tags along as her backup/bodyguard/general companion. can he talk? i unno

soleils job is to go these same planets and revive the life. attempting to colonize a planet usually means the colonizers killed the wildlife in an effort to control it and killed the planet in the process. USP is not known for being kind or subtle. soleil doesn’t so much revive so much as reanimate bones. the bones that float around her are a mystery but she keeps them dear.

conflict comes from that soleil cannot differentiate between fairell and UPS, and fairell is (willfully?) ignorant that USP is a giant shitlord empire. fairell thinks it’s wrong to mess with bones, that it’s a mockery of their deaths. soleil blames fairell for the deaths in the first place. somehow they keep showing up on the same planet in the same abandoned cities and towns.

probably at sme point after enough reports about wow this chick with the gold lined coat is soooo annoying, USP orders fairell to kill her. fairell cant do it. conflict about how soleil is confused bc she thinks fairell does it for a living, ensue emotional scene of clearing up misunderstanding. soleil has to rethink her entire life. at a certain point she directed all her anger and fury and hate at fairell. in a moment of blind rage, she attacks fairell. nisk interfers and warps fairell and himself away. soleil is left on an empty planet with a lot of things to process

conflict also from is fairell willfully ignorant ?? how does one ignore an entire planets death. is it indoctrination? is USP a big ol space cult? dunno

i didnt think any furhter ahead but the ending would be fairell and soleil either take down USP by destroying the head office, spreading the word or they just ditch everything and go to an uninhabited planet and be girlfriends together and nisk is their companion on the awkward line between best friend and pet

nisk gets a sub plot about how he’s very capable at his job thank u stop touching him stop saying awww cute doggy, he outranks all of u

fairell and soleil r hella gay for each other in space

btw fairells beanie can be removed but the bear ears/headband cant

[tayegi]

This second chapter made me feel so much of everything, and I admire the OC for being so mature and put her anger aside. I feel sort of ashamed that it's not something I'd do hehe(seems like I need to grow more) I've never felt this way before but somehow your amazing writing makes me feel everything the OC feels! So thank your very much for sparing time to write all of this amazing stuff, even tho you're really busy. Really, thank you. I love you. ♥

Anonymous said:New rules isn't even about the boys for me anymore it's about this lowkey toxic friendship even if they've been friends for years that's the problem. OC couldn't talk to Mijoo about how she really felt not saying she should've told Mijoo to stay away from Jimin but let her know that it really hurt her feelings and Mijoo clearly didn't have a problem putting a boy over friendship. Even if it started with something small like this it could be the downfall to their friendship.

Anonymous said:I just wouldn't be able to trust Mijoo and that kinda ruins the whole friendship right then and there. It's I would think if she was so quick to ruin something for me for her over a guy what else will she do to put herself before me. I know friendships are important most of the time and the reader and Jimin were never together but I just wouldn't be able to associate with her. This is only what the reader is finding out now what else could Mijoo be hiding and I know it might not be that deep pt1

mirajoey said:Fml. I just hate how sweet demure pretty girls who are actual snake. And people keep misunderstanding 'ice queen but true' type of girls. Why do women need to be attractive (pretty) but superficial af to please men? My ex-crush is in relationship with my bestfriend tho😂 she and my other girl keep mocking me for being the only single ass in the group. Idk if they are intentional or not. I'm about to say fuck off bitch whenever they do that. But i'm a softie for friends. So yeah, am i weak?

Anonymous said:i feel like all this hate towards mijoo and the desire to hurt her is exactly how the oc initially reacted, and everyone who had sent in asks about physically hurting her is an instantaneous reaction, but will not actually do so. its kind of like being so angry during an argument with someone that you say things you dont mean. don't take it at heart. im one of the anons who sent in something about hurting her, and i would not in any way physically harm a person. much less a best friend.

Anonymous said:NR 2, Great writing as always. But I wouldnt have been as forgiving, maybe after a day or 2 we could talk things through with her after that. I get why some friendships crumble because of that. Its not because of the guy but because of the betrayal. It would hurt so much more from a friend you trust and have been open with all this. It just means they didnt choose to trust you with the truth and she didnt even admit it after all this time.

Anonymous said:wow that Mijoo... I have two thoughts: 1. "I hate snakeu" and 2. Haven't she heard the phrase, fries before guys? btw I would cut all connections with a "friend" like that. But you are wonderful Lu and never fail to amaze us♡ Thank you for sharing such quality contents so often~ Have a nice day!

Anonymous said:oH MY GOD! New rules 2 had me screeching. Bruh you make me so sad but i love it. Im in emotional turmoil for OC. Im. I just dont know man. Her friends are such asses.

Anonymous said:Ahh new rules hit me so hard, i actually cried! I relate so much to the oc and my own best friend of over 10 years pulled that shit on me and I was so, so hurt that I didn't even cared about the guy anymore but her betrayal really hit me....ahhh anyway that's such a emotional ride!!!! I love your writing 💕

Anonymous said:new rules makes me really sad of how friendships are always regarded as smth less than relationships. and the worst part is people around me would literally question me abt why im so against relationships when im not? i just feel like relationships and friendships are different but equally important.. it's so upsetting to know that friends that you treasure dont treasure you in the same way just because u r not their partner.

Anonymous said:Forgive me if I'm reading way too much into this, but I think the reason Mijo's betrayal brought so many strong emotions in a lot of readers is because most women "dread" something like that happening.. No one wants the "girls hate other girls/pick guys over friendships" stereotype to be true because it IS an awful stereotype, so when it happens (cause some people are awful and some of those people are girls) it's really heartbreaking.. 1/?

Anonymous said:the act alone is terrible but add to it that this proved the stereotype for some people and it can really sting!!I think that's the reason why "Mean Girls" is so popular! It satirizes that feeling and makes it funny/tolerable! The OC is acting in a mature way but given that she's a feminist it can also be that she doesn't want to prove that stereotype and wants to act above it! 2/?

Anonymous said:It's very understandable BUT no one would expect boys/men to be friends after something like that because it WAS hurtful and selfish and awful and Mijoo shouldn't get a pass just because she's a girl and OC wants to prove a point! Remove jimin from the equation and add a job promotion with Mijoo being sneaky and getting it instead of OC for reasons SHE instigated and it should be clear why OC needs to be angry! 3/4

Anonymous said:They should at least argue about it with a line in the sand drawn if it happens again! *not saying you should do that of course, the story is a stroy and should have this kind of layers/complex feelings, I'm talking in a real life scenario I guess* sorry to dump all this on you but it brought so many feelings and I had to write them down!! What do you think? A stretch? 4/4

Anonymous said:There would have been at minimum a month of radio silence from me if I were OC and one of my girl friends pulled a stunt like M.

Anonymous said:To be honest, I feel like maybe how the MC handled Mijoo maybe wasn't the mature thing to do? I guess in the past I always felt like being mature was keeping friends no matter what they pulled, but lately I feel like cutting off toxic friends actually is sometimes the best way to handle things? Like not causing a scene, or anything. It's just that I've come to value trust and respect in my relationships, and after part two I feel like I personally cannot trust or respect her. Just some thoughts!

Anonymous said:how is the OC so patient and... nice ?!!1!1!1 if i were her i’d be a salty ass bitch at mijoo like heck you just stole my crush away from me just because YOU like him. kdndksjsoana i feel aNgEr

Anonymous said:i hope karma fucks mijoo in the ass. i hate everything and i hope jungkook gets his ass whooped too so he can actually act like a human being for once. thanks for writing new rules

Anonymous said:As much as the OC is remarkable for her self sacrifice I feel Jimin had the right to know what happened and Mijoo really needs to know that what she did was not okay. Sure OC didn’t do the wrong thing by throwing a tantrum and ruining Mijoo’s life but I just felt like honest communication is necessary. This brings me to the point that I like how you write realistic stories because in life decisions aren’t so black and white.

Anonymous said:Yes I totally get you Lu. And in all honesty, I wouldn't have forgiven her. I wouldn't have caused that much or big of a scene, but I would have definitely ended my 'friendship' right then and there. It irritated me though that OC even went up to her and touched her asdsfhk. I would have went to sleep. I once had a friend who did the same shit twice. She dated the boys I liked, knowing about my feelings for each of them and then acted innocent. It felt like reading about me. - Reasoning Anon

Anonymous said:And the worst part is that I felt exactly the same way OC did. I just can't be mean to people. No matter how much I despise them. No matter how much they hurt or angered me. Because then I feel so evil, so I let it happen. Then I leash out on other people who never did (Jungkook). I just let them hurt me. And then I feel guilty about having mean thoughts about them. And when OC thought and felt like the asshole, the monster ... man. I already hate this story, go away 😩 - Reasoning Anon

Anonymous said:the oc in new rules is like waaay too kind to her "best friend", why would a "best friend" sabotage a girl's chance to get with a guy who genuinely likes her i still don't understand. it doesn't matter if the "best friend" likes the guy, i am betting the oc is some martyr to be that sacrificial. i would drop my "best friend" if she tried that on me

Anonymous said:LIVID. I'm so angry that Mijoo never gave OC Jimin's confession note, then had the nerve to involve OC as she was stressing over him. I'm frustrated that OC puts Mijoo on a pedestal just bc she's pretty, & seems to see Mijoo as more deserving of happiness than herself. Mijoo is a snake & deserves to be exposed bc she did both Jimin and OC dirty by not giving her his note. She deprived them both of what they wanted, & any relationship she now has w Jimin is tainted by what she did to him a yr ago

Anonymous said:I can only hope that Jimin wakes up and realizes what a snake Mijoo is. With a girl like her, I doubt their relationship can work out (or at least that's what I hope).

Anonymous said:mijoo gotta go

Anonymous said:I'm in love with new rules omg if I found out my best friend hid something like that from me I would be livid I don't know how she kept her cool. Can't wait for the next part! 💖💖💖

Anonymous said:Omg her friend is a snake and she's too forgiving 🤧😫😩 I just want to grab OC's shoulders and shake some sense into her, she's allowed to be angry at her friend, she's deserves to be happy too. I'm excited to see how the rest of this story is gonna develop, I really love all your writing. You have such a way with words that makes me feel like I watching a movie rather than just reading a story. 👌❤️👌

bangtanboys-hoe said:This may be the bitch in me talking but I would've made her feel like shit. I would move out, block her number, and tell Jimin everything. I would've made her life a living hell hole. But this is just a story and I'm too nice of a person to do that.

Anonymous said:okay first how's your day, how you're doing. And second MIJOO IS SUCH A BITCH NO FUCK FHAT. WHAT HAPPENED TO LOYALTY, OC GAVE UP HER LIVE AND MIJOO DECIDED TO TAKE IT DOE SELF. FUCK JIMIN (I love you jimin) BUT BOTH OF THEM FUCK UP THEIR FRIENDSHIP. I couldn't even enjoy the smut I'm so mad. Plus GOOD JOB ON THE NEW CHAPTER! It's really good! Hope you have a good day :)

Anonymous said:Fuck mijoo AHHSGAHHDH WHY WHY WHY

omg im very overwhelmed by the incredible response to ch 2 of new rules and i feel so bad but i srsly cant answer all of your messages. But the intense reactions this fic inspired is so shocking yet understandable. I just hope you all aren’t too upset and that you can have an open mind for the next chapter ^^

[lxckyclovers-blog]

SOURCE

100+ followers, aaa!! i want to say a quick THANK YOU to everybody who stuck with me && SUPPORTED me, i really didn’t expect y’all to continue following me up to now and it really means a lot! i’ll mainly be writing about people who i’ve had some level of interaction with, but that DOES NOT MEAN i do not appreciate you && your blog! and now, without further ado and in no specific order:

@relixum​ / @gctshot​ / your other 6 blogs look at where we are... look at where we started... i know i don’t deserve you gale, but hear me out, that would be enough... honestly, we talk a lot, and as much as i compliment you whenever i get the chance to, that won’t stop me now. i love your rping so much?? like, every character you pick up, cherish, decide to give attention to... i instantly know that you’re going to write them so well!! you’re talented, smart, funny, and i! love! you! we just support each other a lot mutually, and whatever happens, no matter what, i’d like that to keep on happening in the future. but right now, know that i love you and you’re always in my mind at least twenty times a day. ♥

@pixcldream​ aaaAAA meme!! i think you were one of my first interactions when i first ever created my blog, but i can’t remember that. you were always kind of approachable for me && i always wanted to be your friend and talk a bit more to you? and heck, you may not be my parent anymore but you’ll always be a parent to me in my heart. i’ve always admired you and love your nanami and headcanons!! 100/10, justifies gamer girl a lot. i also love your art!! and u better watch out before i steal your hands to art like thy- also, if you feel as if you’re dying, Just Don’t

@mxssias​ aaaaAAALEX!! our hope boys combined together is a trouble we cannot keep at bay, and i am Glad™ i followed you because i love your naegi. he’s pure and only wants to do things for the sake of kibou, and i really love our boys’ interactions! even though... a lot has to do with crack. har har. but yeah, our interactions are a+ crack or serious, and may our hope boys spread hope!

@sunnywitchesperitou​ oooh tea!! i love your sonia, honestly! you put depth into her and you clearly know what you’re going to do to make sonia a much more interesting character! i also LOVE your art, like. dang, pleasing to the eye and just overall, your art blows me away!! keep doing what you’re doing mon ami, && you’re fun to talk w/, whenever we do!!

@snappshot​ / @cantatory​ / @steinways​ inHALES... sarah!! we haven’t threaded on your koi or mai yet but i don’t need to interact with them to know that you’re absolutely amazing and rping them. i love the dis//cords you host, bc it’s such a great idea!! even tho i don’t participate in much conversation, it’s still fun, and i love it whenever we talk mi amigaaaAAAA---ur portrayals are beyond amazing, i love how much care you harbor for your characters, that always leads to mind blowing rping!

@nullverum​ / @shpionaz​ listen up you four thirteen los3r...jk jk, boss you’re chill. i mean, i haven’t seen much of your oc but we talk ooc sometimes whenever i’m actually present in the groupchats, and it’s coolio!! i like your portrayal and bro u may not be my main but i will always kinkshame committee w/ you, and even though your name is from the horror film, er, my apologies---anime, homosuk, you’ll always be my friend! (also. psst i’m always up for discussing homosuk for a blast to the past if you need it)

@ofdesperationis MY FRIEND I LOVE IT WHEN YOUR ENO HARASSES MY KO, honestly!! like tbh, he’s just so salty at her and i love writing his reaction to her. he’s just so done with her && her HANDful of puns. i love you portrayal, too!! it’s trés bien, just...mmMM!! i didn’t know what i signed up for when i followed you back, but hoo boy do i not regret it. ko might not want to be friends with eno, buT IT SURE AS HELL doesn’t mean that we ain’t gonna be spicy friends if they ain’t!!

@mendcx / @kurenaii / i think you have other blogs but AKU GOD DAMN, i love your portrayals SO MUCH, and you know this...i know you doooo. i love our interactions && i love it when your kamu steps on my ko, fulfilling his gross and masochistic wishes. your kamu has to put up with so much shit and honestly, i kind of feel bad for him agikha but yo, hit me up in dms whenever bc bro i love talkin’ to you and i’m always up to more of that ship shit if you gotta dump out some stuff and CAN’T HOLD IT IN...oh if only you know how excited i was when you first hit me up, yo, harhar. love ya my buddy, my friend, my responsible friend

@lyingforadream / @hazuukashi / @ofstarsandfists ALRIGHT, DUSTING. j’aime tu rping, parce que est trés bien et tu ne peut pas dire moi autrement. okay, i translated some of that, bUT SOME OF IT IS FROM MY KNOWLEDGE SO YOU! CAN’T! JUDGE! ME! i’m still learning french mon ami, but still! i like your rping and hit me up in dms w/e i’m on and you wanna say something to me, bro. don’t hold back! you’re really funny and GOd, i love ur jokes but man YOU GOTTA STOP KILLING ME. but yea ily bro just try not to kill me anymore tyty you’re one of the best, don’t stop now

@shinguvji iggy!! yoo honestly, i’ve always looked up to you and whenever you notice me, i’m like 000: && you’re like a role model for me! i love interacting with you, it’s fun to see what happens when you put our two characters together. i’ll never forget the story times, especially the fact that guuji is an anthropologist who has Quite the Knowledge on, well, the strangest of stories. you’re really entertaining and i love seeing you on your dash, if i see anything posted by you, there’s like a 99% chance i’ll read it, because everything you create is intriguing!!

@ongakuvoices / @anemoia-avenoir / @ketsuekicrown AAAAAND RIO! gosh i absolutely LOVE the justice you give the characters, and i super duper wish you got more attention on nagisa because your portrayal is absolutely worth it, even if we haven’t interacted much on there. i love talking with you whenever i appear in the chatroom, and whenever we plot our twinbuki au!! can’t wait to set things straight and figure out family stuff, so we could start it already woohoo---your character portrayals are en pointe and i love interacting with you on any blog, and mioda always gives me that rush of adrenaline interacting with her like whoa!! what is she gonna do next? you’re doing 100% amazing so keep it up, my friend!!

@hexapodboy​ GOSH BON, i’ll be honest with ya!! i’ve always looked up to you and you always inspire me!! your portrayals are incredibly mind-blowing and i love seeing you on my dash!! your gonta is so pure and literally doesn’t deserve any of my ko’s antics, because he’s too innocent for it all. i love our crack threads and we need to get more serious threads going, seriously, but nonetheless our interactions are still amusing and, well, interesting! i wish we talked more ooc, you seem like a rly nice person && i love your kara icons ikhgkhgr really gives off the Cool™ demeanor, yo. but!! i can assure you that not 100% of our interactions will involve bombs, gonta deserves better than THAT

@mcfiant / @swcrdleap / your other 9 blogs--- IT’s been like, ten centuries bro, my dude, my partner in *komaeda and amami voice** death o’clock---and i love our interactions! and i love your portrayal of EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. YOU. PLAY. regardless if i know that character or not, because you do such a good job that i just get the sense that it’s how the character legitimately is. we don’t talk much but when we did, it was amazing and i couldn’t stop laughing. i mean. it’s not every day you see amami kicking down doors over hiring assassins. i’ll always follow you mon ami because i love your portrayals and headcanons aND a lot more. one of my faves && i’ll read anything you have to offer bc your work is always interesting, honestly. even if your character is an asshole, komaeda can take it!!! he’s an asshole to himself, after all. but yea neal ily mi amigo and i promise i’ll tell you if anything’s wrong with your links akhgahg

AND I REFUSE TO FORGET THOSE WHO STUCK AROUND! the people in this section are people i’ve had really limited interactions with, but i’m very glad decided to stick around my blog!! i look up to you, and i wish i got to know y’all better so i could give you a spot up there with my positive comments!!

@despuddle / @kxaito / @fxshionable-mxsks​ / @ayatsurii / @kibarashiartist / @mxgicxlrxd / @invegold​ / @hairhorns​ / @twintaiiled / @goodluckgoodhope / @kyoukokiwigiri​ / @hxpelessnurse / @beheadingtoujou / @bubblegumrose / @fashicnkiller​ / @positivepianist​ / @robotichxpe​ / @bestiascuro​ / @docilexdisguises​ / @pseudxcode​ / @cxruscxte​ / @artqiues​ / @sollertiis​ / @boysofbrokensouls​ / @shufukuu​ / @frosted-mermaid​ 

&& HAVE AN AMAZING WEEKEND!!!