#also the fourth one may or may not be a fic idea i've considered writing before. idk if i will but. yeah

[ckret2]

How do you (personally) rank the validity of different canon sources?

Ex. Show, Books, Livestreams, Panels, Deleted Scenes ect.

Disclaimer ahead of time that this is solely for my own personal canon-compliant fic writing purposes and I don't expect anyone else to follow this or even think they're obligated to write canon compliantly

Tier one: the show is more canon than the books, but only 1% more canon. In defiance of Alex's decree, I do treat Little Gift Shop of Horrors as canon.

Tier two: everything in the books (plus the books' tie-in websites, like Shmeb-You-Unlocked or TINAWDC) is canon UNLESS it's contradicted in the show. If there's a contradiction, usually the show wins, but it has to be decided on a case-by-case basis. Sometimes contradicting book info take precedence over show info if the book's info is better. The best outcome is when the info can be smoothly synthesized. (Note that having to weigh a book against the show only applies to CONTRADICTIONS; if the book just ADDS ONTO our knowledge of the show in a way that doesn't actually contradict it, it's automatically canon.)

Also in defiance of Alex, I consider Time Pirates' Treasure wholly canon, with the "official" timeline being one of the ones where they get the treasure and all of the other choose-your-own-adventure branches being things that happened in neighboring parallel timelines.

Out of the books, Journal 3, TBOB (+TINAWDC), and Lost Legends (+Shmeb-You-Unlocked) are the most canon. TBOB takes precedence over Journal 3 on matters where TBOB's lore is clearly intended as an upgrade on prior ideas (ex: the shaman's portal and the pyramids). Dipper & Mabel's Guide, Time Pirates' Treasure (+ the Axolotl page), and Don't Color This Book are secondarily canon. Lazy screenshot-based novelizations of existing episodes are whatever.

I choose to selectively semi-reject some of the skeevier conspiracy theory claims in the books as "Bill's lying about these": outside of those exceptions, going "there's no evidence Bill's lying about this part but I've decided that he is just because I don't like it" is the coward's way and dishonorable.

Info in the Bill Cipher AMA is third tier canon, since it was written in-character and comes directly from Alex. (Some quotes from the AMA were recycled directly into TBOB + TINAWDC.) Gus Burnside's twitter account is also third tier.

For the first three tiers, all info is canon unless something in a higher tier contradicts it.

The Cipher Hunt is 3.5th tier.

All out-of-universe materials—livestreams, panels, interviews, DVD commentary, tweets, doodles & concept art, etc—are fourth tier. If it's contradicted by anything in the higher tiers, they take precedence; but, for lack of a conflict, out-of-universe materials fill in the gaps. But the person involved matters: show writers' statements on the characters are more canon than voice actors' statements. If fourth-tier materials contradict each other, the newer one takes precedence. Fourth-tier materials can be selectively ignored if so desired, but better to find a way to twist them to make them work.

The Gnome Gemulets game is fifth tier; all the lore from it is canon, but the events may or may not have actually happened, or else only loosely happened like that. Gnome Gemulets may occasionally rank higher than the out-of-universe materials.

Disney.com flash games and the like are semi-canon; you CAN take lore and details from them if you want but the events probably didn't literally happen unless you really want to make it work. Okay to imagine that events happened that were loosely inspired by the games.

Deleted scenes and cameos (ex: Bill in the Simpsons) are semi-semi canon. They probably didn't happen, especially if it contradicts canon; but you can freely take ideas and vibes from them and use them as examples of the kinds of things that could happen (ex: Bill would try to con people into buying crypto just for the heck of it).

Unwritten episodes are semi-semi-semi canon: they definitely didn't happen, but by god, you could MAKE them happen.

The How Not To Draw Grunkle Stan short is as yet unknown. Under normal conditions it ought to be semi-semi canon, but since TINAWDC did some stuff with the Henchmaniacs escaping to reality shortly before this clip came out about Bill escaping to reality, there's a slim possibility this is part of a budding storyline about Bill & the gang in the real world, so I'm reserving judgment for now.

[memberment]

Good evening

Guys I just got home from work and proofread everything I needed to including this next Dandelion chapter and I'm trying so hard not to just fucking SOB over it.

I hate it here I want out LMFAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD WHY DID I WRITE THIS FR

10:59 update......

I'm thinking about an absolutely diabolical twist for the Trin series(it doesn't actually change the story in any way, if anything it actually makes it make so much more sense). Like, I've been ruminating on it since last night but idk if it's gonna throw people off. But at the same time like part twos and threes never do as good anyways so do I really even care?? Like, I'm just out here telling stories in fanfic font bc I would rather throw myself in the street than make OCs and not share my fun little stories.

I think I may commit to it.

I don't wanna say it on here though bc it's one of those plot twists you get will not forget even though part three is like FOREVER out.

The more I think about it the more I wanna do it. Someone tell me I should do it.

Oh my god I am shutting up and finishing reading Dandelion, y'all will hear my virtual screams in approximately one and a half business hours.

(11:43) I'm actually fucking sobbing and I didn't even start the last few chapters. Like, I'm actually crying over this. It's not funny.

(12:00) Never by mag lo coming on while I'm finishing up reading this is not funny. I'm devastated. I hope you all hate me after this oh my god I feel like I just ruined my own life. WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE AFTER BEING DONE WITH THIS FIC FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No more angst from me for a long while. I'm banned.

(12:20) Me skimming through tags on fics debating if I want to pick up something new. Everything being totally normal. Suh happy. Trying not to stew in my own misery. And then I see such a vile tag my stomach twists and now I'm just like okay I'll go fuck myself I guess I'll go write or do my homework. I'm sorry, I adore ao3 and I'm never gonna be a hater, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WILD. LIKE I AM TALKING SO BAD I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DOING MY HOMEWORK OVER THAT. LIKE I ACTUALLY JUST WIPED THE TEARS OFF MY FACE AND GOT OVER HOW SAD I WAS BECAUSE OF HOW GENUINELY SHOCKED I WAS. Like wow oh wow.

Anyways. Updates here if there's gonna be any. Also Dandelions up if anyones reading this LMAO

It's 1:40 in the morning and the beginning of Morning Glory is making me fucking unwell. I was not joking when I made that joke about like ten dreaded weeks of angst, Jesus Christ.

(2:12) This is my second time posting this exact part. Like I know I've posted this exact part. But I seriously love Christophe and all of his dialogue with my whole heart.

(4:31) I do not recall making Dova this tragic and I'm literally about to sob over him. LIKE WHY???? WHY DID I DO THAT??? WHY ARE HIS LITTLE SUBTLE BITS OF STORYLINE SO ACTUALLY PAINFUL AS THE STORY GOES ON????? (I am allergic to happiness I am my own canon event at this point)

(4:48) THE ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION THAT COMES WITH WANTING MORE STORY BUT IT SIMPLY NOT EXISTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT IS DEVASTATING.

(5:02) Welp. I'm ruined and am now compelled by god to start working on Morning Glory again. We're at 73k rn. And only two chapters that aren't the prologue are under 4k. That's fucking terrifying. Like I have 17 minus the prologue rn. WE ARE LITERALLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 16/17 OF SUMMER ALONE. AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER 14 AFTER THAT. LIKE THE 14 ARE THE PLANNED SPECIFIC EVENT CHAPTERS. BRUH. WHY DID I DO THIS????

regret.

regret is all I feel.

but I will push through.

(7:38) before I go to bed I will just say I am at 75.3k. I had no idea how I would even get close to 4k on a birthday chapter where the group effectively decided to just stay home and hang out. But now there is like 1.5k of them playing muffin time. It's wild. I love it. GOOD NIGHT.

[lazuliquetzal]

Hi, you're one of my favorite writers :D Regarding the recent "questions for fic writers", may I ask for 1, 10, and 31? (If you don't mind a tad too many questions in one ask, I am also curious about 12 and 13!)

eyy thanks!! i do not mind multiple questions i could talk about writing all day 💖💖💖💖

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Oh gosh. There's a couple way to answer this, I think. Dawn of the Fourth is probably my Most Fic Ever (unhinged humor, increasingly WTF plot), but it's really hard to parse if you're reading fandom-blind, so maybe not the best introduction.

The Disappearance of Narumiya Mei is a more fandom-blind friendly fic! It's also unfinished, whoops. But, you know: asshole protagonist, context-specific jokes, boiling rage behind every word. It definitely has that "kinda stupid, kinda gut punchy" vibe that I wanna go for. I swear once my Daiya obsession resurfaces I'll finish off the last 2 or 3 chapters.

10. How do you decide what to write?

Mostly, it's "oh, this would be funny!" and then I write it. There's a LOT of dead-end joke premises sitting in my folders. Sometimes (many times), it's like, "hm, here's a popular trope that I don't quite understand. What do people like about it, and how do I make myself like it?" and then that's how you get shit like "mystery thriller deaging fic" and "why is this OC twin fic breaching containment"

In more detail, if something I write breaks the 8K barrier and I have an idea of 1) what it's about and 2) how it's gonna end, I consider it a #official WIP and I do my best to finish it.

31. What's your ideal fic length to write?

Somehow, my two favorite completed multichapter fics ended up 10 chapters long, and about 50K.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

*side eyes the deaging fic* um.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don't anymore?

Idk I've always been consistent in my taste I think. My interests come in waves -- if I don't like it right now, I'll probably like it again in the future. Maybe fake dating? I read a ton of that in my Haikyuu days

[davyjoneslockr]

fugo w/ 7, 17, 31, 37, 38?

(For this ask game)

7: Travel

Since his family was rich, he did a lot of traveling as a kid. Mostly around Europe, but internationally, too. He's probably been to every continent, barring Antarctica, at least once. He didn't really get to experience much on these trips, though. Sure, he'd be in these places, but the trips were never so much for sightseeing as they were for his parents' business opportunities, going to really fancy places as a status symbol, and probably some networking for him, as his parents were very keen on "maximizing his potential" as a young genius and showing him off to fellow rich folk or higher-ups in academia. If anything, traveling was an isolating experience for him. There was never any warmth in the Fugo family, and the one person he truly loved and could've enjoyed having new experiences with, his grandmother, was never included.

So, as he gets older, he finds that he really enjoys trips that aren't so rigid. He likes having things planned in advance, certainly, but instead of seeing huge cities and staying in luxury resorts, he'd much rather go to small towns or rural areas, eat at local restaurants, buy little trinkets that his family would've ridiculed, and just. Have the opportunity to slow down and enjoy things. He couldn't give a single shit about seeing Paris or Tokyo or New York City, but if he's able to go on a road trip through the countryside and stop at a little farmer's market for some homemade jam, he'll be ecstatic.

17: Scars

His hands and wrists are heavily scarred from scratching at them - a bad, self-destructive habit the others have tried to get him out of, to no avail. He’s also got a lot of scarring on his face, shoulders, and back from acne. By the time he gets the scars on his cheeks/throat at the end of PHF, he’s too used to having scars to outwardly angst about them much. He claims he’s “never had a nice face, anyhow,” and is at least thankful he has an intact jaw after that.

Internally, though, he’s conflicted. He has some serious issues with self-worth, and, body image-wise, views himself as somewhat ugly at best, if not completely repulsive. The scars, at first, do not help.

Eventually, though, he starts working to reframe his mindset. The scars are proof that he’s bettering himself - while he may not be able to undo the damage he’s caused, there are things he can still fix. He isn’t as selfish, cowardly, or mean as he used to be. He’s starting to understand other people, and understand himself. The scars he sees when he looks in the mirror are proof.

Also, if I can plug the Fugio agenda for a moment. Most of his mental restructuring is done on his own, but it certainly helps to know that Giorno’s never been judgmental about his scars. Quite the opposite, in fact. Giorno kisses the PHF scars constantly, and likes tracing the acne spots on Fugo’s back (he always says cheesy stuff about them, like “they’re like little stars” or whatever. Fugo thinks it’s bullshit, but doesn’t complain).

31: Death

Despite his stand’s motif, he is deeply terrified of dying. Deep down, it was one of the main reasons he stayed behind. He finds comfort in understanding things, and knowing that he can understand anything in life, potentially. Even though he’s staunchly atheist, the fact that he can’t possibly understand or comprehend death scares him. Purple Haze’s, or his, ability to end lives so quickly and effortlessly, in a way, makes him scared of himself.

37: Vengeance

I like to think that he does see his family again, when he’s an adult. Not to reconcile, though. His father, or maybe one of his brothers, somehow gets tangled up in mafia business, and they arrange a meeting to ask Giorno for protection or money. Giorno’s ready to dismiss the offer, but Fugo asks to go with him, with his face obscured, to see if they’ve actually changed.

As it turns out, they haven’t. They’re still as pretentious and elitist as he remembers, walking over everyone who doesn’t meet their standards - of class, of wealth, of behavior. Giorno asks if they have another child, and they claim they don’t - Pannacotta has more or less been eliminated from the Fugo family tree, reduced to no more than a whisper at dinner parties, a rumor among the upper crust. He’s completely dead to them, and, perhaps, after kicking him to the streets without so much as a goodbye, they assumed he would be literally.

Giorno, of course, rejects their request. And, as a final blow, Fugo reveals himself. Flashes his and Giorno’s matching rings in his father’s face, sits with his feet up on the expensive coffee table, and describes, in detail, what’s happened to him since he was last at this mansion. It’s dramatic, and it’s not a huge act of revenge, in the grand scheme of things. But it’s cathartic to imagine his family living with the fact that their son’s a criminal, right at the top in Passione’s ranks, and the shitstorm that would ensue, should he choose to leak the information to the public. And, of course, knowing that he has a real family by his side - more of a real family than they would ever be.

38: Sympathy

If there is one opponent he comes to regret killing, it’s Angelica. While she may have been working for the narcotics team, she was really no different than him, or any of his friends - she was just a kid driven to extremes, and was only able to find solace among criminals. Most of what he learns about her, he learns after her death, and there’s times where he spirals, thinking about what he could have done differently, had he known what he does now. Could they have convinced her to leave the narcotics team? Gotten her treatment for her addiction? Used Gold Experience Requiem to help with her illness, somehow? What hurts most is that parts of her remind him of Narancia, and, occasionally, he wonders if they could’ve even been friends. 

At the end of the day, he tells himself she was too far gone, and any thoughts of helping her are just ridiculous fantasies. Still, he hasn’t been able to fully convince himself.

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

[svtskneecaps]

i have stumbled upon a realization that is both terrifying and wonderful, and that is, that people actually like the writing i post on tumblr dot com.

and that is in equal measures terrifying and gratifying because on the one hand, i posted my shit for people to like my shit. that's it. i said, "here is this thing that i wrote to help me, perhaps it will help you, too"

but the other thing is, considering i've been posting writing semi-consistently online for the past 10 years of my life (god, ten!!), i eventually landed on the guilt-ridden decision that, due to my inconsistency and flights of passion, i CANNOT post a fic that i haven't finished. and this resolve has been somewhat strengthened by my discoveries in the process of writing one of my current (non-kpop) wips, since that one has taken a strategy of "write the bones, fill in the tissue" that usually leads to me rewriting the bones once the tissue fills in. the story is strengthened and i am so happy with the product i'm fleshing out, but it also means i can't post it serially until full completion, because i am SO TIRED of putting "discontinued" or "rewriting" on a published work. it makes me feel bad, like the rewritten plotlines are now forever muddled in a readers' mind, and they'll never be able to distinguish what happened in the less-good first version and the slightly-better second (or third, or fourth, or), or that i am discontinuing on some dissatisfying in-gratifying cliffhanger, because the lake in my mind is a grimy, half-formed sidewalk puddle online.

but i have not been able to finish a piece of writing for this blog. in a very long time. which is not to say i haven't been TRYING, just that. i rarely have an idea that just screams to be for seventeen, and when i do, it never makes it to full completion. in fact off the top of my head i can remember a pretty good (to me) introduction to a DK oneshot along the size and tonal lines of "you mean the world to me", along with about nine parts of the magical retrograde amnesia jeonghan sm au i pitched LONG ago, just after the final part of "i just see you" was uploaded, not to mention a full paragraph-style "home;run" inspired road trip au (no reader insert) that i've shared with some friends who ALSO thought it was a good idea, if i could just WRITE THE DAMN THING outside of the first two thrice damned sequences (i have THE ENTIRE PLOT fleshed out to the first of two potential climaxes, and yet no words have come)

SO I WANT TO ASK YOU, so i want to SCREAM INTO THE VOID, because there is a terrifying unquantifiable number of eyes in the followers tab of this blog and though i don't know how many of those accounts are still viable and how many are empty graves, i will yell these words into the dark and pray for an answer,

SHOULD I POST THESE DRAFTS, EVEN THOUGH THEY MAY NEVER BE FINISHED?

this blog has been dead for so long, too long, filled with personal posts and birds and bullshit, and maybe, perhaps, there is a chance that ANYONE showing renewed interest in my shit could finally fucking put the grind into my gears. because friends, it is entirely conceited perhaps to say that the semi-steady drizzle of likes drenching my notifications has turned numbing, that the last REAL COMMENT on any fic of mine came twenty one days ago and that the void feels endless, that despite the number of eyes in the shadows of this void, it feels empty, but unfortunately for us i am awake to the empty, because suddenly i was reminded that, for some fucking reason, people have enjoyed my shit. and i have been so terrified of giving something incomplete or imperfect that i have been giving nothing at all.

so i ask you, my loves, the mouthless eyes who wander here, SHOULD I POST MY DRAFTS, FOR YOU, WITH THE UNDERSTANDING I MAY NEVER FINISH THEM? and understand, friends, that this offer is for you as much as for me. because i miss validation and i crave it near constantly but i have taken my enjoyment from these works. they have lived in my drafts for years and could gather dust there longer, but IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM, IF YOU SWEAR TO ALERT ME TO THIS INCOMPREHENSIBLE FACT THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ENJOY MY BULLSHIT, i could format and post what little shit i've got.

who knows. a single comment convinced me to finish walls could talk back in 2019. maybe lightning will strike twice.

as a bonus for reading this beast of a post, here is a screenshot of the aforementioned "retrograde amnesia curse" jeonghan fic, which i also sent to a few friends.

thank you for reading. and also, thank you for tolerating me, inconsistent though i may be. it's really hard for me to quantify who's here and what they're thinking, which is terrifying in and of itself, but every time the curtain pulls back it seems to be a pleasant surprise from the other side (i mean, who knew there were people who purposefully read through a tag created specifically so those posts did not have to be read?)

technically speaking, there's no milestone fast approaching (i give it another year, at the pace we're walking). just, it was sort of shown to me tonight that there are people out there who, when asked, would list one of my works close to their top ten, off the top of their head. and that is crazy and humbling and gratifying and terrifying all at the same time.

[evilkitten3]

Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I've only just discovered your blog. How's the Fairy Tail rewrite coming along/is there anywhere I can read it?

no worries, i'm very botherable! the ftr is still very much going to happen, but i haven't been able to summon up the motivation to get much actual writing done lately, so it's currently not available to read. i know more or less what i want to happen and how i want it to go, but it's a monster of a fic, and i don't want to do that thing i do where i get halfway through a project then abandon it.

so the current plan is to handle it like so: there are several arcs of varying lengths, so i'm going to have multiple arcs finished and ready to go before i start posting. the first two arcs (saving macao + daybreak) are fairly close to canon, so i've compressed them into being two chapters each and i'll probably post all of those fairly close together once they're finished and then start slowing down as things deviate from the original story. i'd like to have everything up through the oracíon seis arc finished before i post anything at all (which sounds like a lot, but that's just the first fourth of the outline. there's a reason i've gotta pace myself here). i'm considering this to be "part one", even though - if my outline holds true - it's nine arcs spread out over eighty-five chapters, and (for ao3) each arc is going to have its own "story" just to make things a little less overwhelming.

"part two" will kick off with the edolas arc and either go through the grand magic games arc or stop just before it, depending on how things go. like i said, it's an absolute monster of a fic (i have been working on this for literal years now jfc), and the outline spans 23 arcs/340 chapters, not counting any "extras" i might decide to do later on. a lot has changed from my original idea of the story, but i really like where it seems to be headed!

(btw, anyone can feel free to ask me any questions they want. i can't promise to answer every single one bc spoilers, but i can promise to do my best. also, sometimes talking to someone helps me spot plotholes or realize there's an opportunity i've missed/something to add, which is really helpful! i'll answer all the asks, even if it's just to say "unfortunately i don't want to spoil anything so i can't tell you yet", but if it's something that won't affect the overarching plot, i might answer. if you have questions about which ships will be happening then that's fine too, but hopefully people will be interested even if their otps don't show up or aren't portrayed quite how they'd prefer. i'd also like to state that some things that may seem similar to canon are intentionally made that way to keep you in suspense as to where i'm deviating and where i'm not. some things will be obviously different, but some things will be a bit sneakier. so be aware ;P)

[whumpwriterforlife]

Tagged by @garbria, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25 works! 22 for Final Fantasy XV, 2 for MacGyver (2016), and 1 for Prodigal Son.

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

77,159!

Was not expecting that much to be honest. Of that, 64,680 is from this year alone!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3: FFXV, MacGyver (2016), and Prodigal Son.

If we also count fics that haven't been posted and don't even exist anymore, I have also written for Star Trek AOS, NCIS: LA, Star Wars (Jedi: Fallen Order) and Devil May Cry. I think that covers most of them at least? Maybe? Probably.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

In the first place is Late Night Call, my first (and only) Prodigal Son fic by 176 kudos! This surprises me, if I'm being honest. I don't think it's my best work, but apparently people like it! And the Prodigal Son fandom, at least back then, was simply amazing.

H is for Home Invasion (MacGyver) takes the second place with 166 kudos! This doesn't surprise me as much, considering it's an older fic and the MacGyver fandom loves its whump.

We have Wall Garden in the third place with 104 kudos. It's the very first FFXV fic I posted in May this year! Also my first fic to be pure fluff.

Fourth place is taken by BTHB - Impaled Hand by 84 kudos! This was one of my first whumpy FFXV fics featuring Prompto!

And last but not least, we have Of Bioweapons and Hallways in the fifth place with 78 kudos! It's my other MacGyver fic.

The next in the list would have been my on going Winter Sun fic, so I wouldn't be surprised if it still rises to the top 5 at some point in the future.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! Or at least try to! Comments are one of the absolute best parts about sharing my work with the world. They make me smile and have me jumping around the house like a child on sugar high XD I want to at least try to show people how much their comments mean to me.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm... I think almost all of my fics have mostly happy, or at least hopeful endings. There's one that comes to mind that kind of stops on a cliffhanger and implies both angst and whump, and that's BTHB - Kidnapped. Maybe I'll someday continue it.

7) Do you ever write crossovers?

I'm open to the idea of writing crossovers, but I haven't actually written them before. At least not that I can remember. 🤔

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think I have? There have been a few weird comments, but not outright hate, and hopefully there won't ever be. I'm so unsure about my writing at the best of times that a hateful comment would most likely crush me, lol.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do not! I'm not saying I ever won't, as I have actually written one or two lines of it at some point, but I don't see myself writing a whole smut piece and posting it anytime soon.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. I hope not.

11) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have helped some people with their fics, but I've not really co-written anything with anyone. The closest thing would most likely be A Bee-tiful Day(To Bee or Not to Bee-sting) from @garbria. I helped with a few paragraphs, but that's all.

12) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I'm not all that big on shipping (which feels like a weird thing to say when more than half of my FFXV fics are CorNyx). I prefer platonic relationships over romantic ones, but I would most likely go with CorNyx if I had to choose.

13) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Posted fic: MacGyver (2016)

Not posted: Either the OG MacGyver or NCIS: LA

14) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmm, this is a difficult question. I have a vague memory that I answered this one in some ask game some time ago but I'm not sure?

Maybe BTHB - Prisoner Exchange? It's the fic of mine that I've gone back to read the most. I can't really explain why it's my favorite, but I just like it.

I would like to tag @whumperscorner and @ceterisparibus116! No pressure though, if you'd rather not, that's totally fine!

[onewomancitadel]

I know I have been messaged before about Skimming Eye hitting x number of hits but I don’t want to sound entitled, like I am very very aware that doesn’t translate to actual readers (or people who like my fic), I’m very aware it’s not good.

C'mon dude your doing great, stop looking at the negatives, I get criticism is important but not when you drown yourself in it.

Oh and you've also got like

That many comments. The attention is there for sure, also the number of people that read it but don't review is probably also a reasonably high number.

Pretty sure most wouldn't consider this mediocre. Especially not when each chapter a little over 10,000 words like wow Holy shit, upload schedule might not be to your liking, sure but you sure leave us with a lot of meat to chew on.

also slightly off topic I might've said this before but it's really hard to run a prompt idea by you cause it's like "if I wait a few weeks this may very well just happen in Skimming Eye anyway sooo it might be redundant to ask lol" so I make myself get creative as possible with the prompts I send your way haha 😄

(Psst btw don't know if you remember me talking about this but that one fic idea about Cinder being treated by the Arc family after being defeated by Raven is all yours, I realize prompts aren't a focus right now but regardless it is what one might refer to as Free Real-Estate )

Speaking of which have you considered doing prompts in between chapters of Skimming Eye?

Like I know you wanna go full speed into Skimming Eye cause of your deadline but a rare prompt in between might do a lot to ease burn out and help with any potential Writers block or if you're getting bored with any one idea...

Mind you the last thing you probably wanna do is rush right to the end cause your deadline is closer then you'd like it to be, soooo I dunno, it's an idea...

I can't see the positives, I'm sorry. I can only see my failure. It really hurts. It's really embarrassing, too. I'm terrified of people thinking I'm conceited, and equally terrified of people thinking I'm pathetic feeling so sorry for myself. It's really hard for me to run my blog/be in fandom sometimes, I love it as a hobby but I'm also just really socially poor - I do own that though. I've become socially reliant on the Internet a lot more than I used to be too, given... you know... everything. I would be at home with my parents this time of year (and I live fairly far away from my best mate now and travel makes me antsy), but my mum had surgery again (not bad news - first was good, second was just a necessary, separate procedure) and I really didn't want to risk getting her sick when she's recovering (even vaxxed).

"if I wait a few weeks this may very well just happen in Skimming Eye anyway sooo it might be redundant to ask lol" so I make myself get creative as possible with the prompts I send your way hah

Yes, but it is really amusing for me.

(Psst btw don't know if you remember me talking about this but that one fic idea about Cinder being treated by the Arc family after being defeated by Raven is all yours, I realize prompts aren't a focus right now but regardless it is what one might refer to as Free Real-Estate )

Thank you, I do appreciate that one but there is a reason I haven't filled it, and I really don't... want.. to say so yet. I may in the future, it's on my mind still.

Like I know you wanna go full speed into Skimming Eye cause of your deadline but a rare prompt in between might do a lot to ease burn out and help with any potential Writers block or if you're getting bored with any one idea...

No you're right, it's just I have another longfic in the background along with a ~30k fic, and writing those alongside Skimming Eye is eating up my spare time. I also have a third chapter planned for The One Known By Many Names, and a fourth. (Rule of four lol).

The other fics are AU enough that I can actually like... write them after V9 conceivably if it doesn't make me cry but Vacuo makes me a cry a little, but Skimming Eye will be done.

Thanks for your ask. Hope you're having a good one.

[callmeunstable]

Angels & Demons - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Characters: Reader, Godling, Savilla, Jaskier

Summary: After finding a friendin Jaskier their friendship get tested. Unsure of the danger ahead Alva tries her best to live in the village.

Warnings: Cursing, Blood, Death

Words: 2.000+

A/N: Hey! This is the fourth part of my fic. It took really long this time due to personal problems. I’m sorry but it probably will happen again. Thank you for you patience and enjoy!

Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!

Tags: @marvelbrat @charliestuff

Song: 

“Did ya hear the rumors?”

“The folks are saying the Nilfgaards want to overrule Cintra.”

“That’s never been a secret, mate. Cintra will fall and we all know that.”

“Got to hell. Our Lioness is strong. Don’t ya ever doubt her skill.”

These were the latest accusations browsing around the village. Cintra, the kingdom Alva was currently staying, was about to fall. The men were right when they're saying that. Even Savilla was under tension these days. She said they could arrive any day by now. 

The Lioness was the Queen of this state. Calanthe of Cintra, known also as the "Lioness of Cintra" and "Ard Rhena" called by the Elders. The mother of Pavetta, and grandmother of Ciri. She was known for her bravery and beauty. That is at least what she figured while serving in the tavern. She heard tons of rumors but couldn’t understand what that meant for her.

Sevilla had already started packing the most important goods and she collected all the money she received. Rarely spending anything except for once. She bought two horses. They weren’t expensive she said and necessary for traveling. 

When the Nilfgaards want to overrule Cintra the will stop here. Their town was called Walen. It’s close to the capital of Cintra. Where the Queen and the King had their castle. It may be a small village but you will get everything you need in this town. Food, animals, tailors, and a blacksmith.

Overall this village was not a poorly town. It had more than enough money to keep everyone well fed through the winter, which was a rare thing in this century. They didn’t necessarily depend on other nearby villages. They made everything they could need by themselves. Sevilla already had a plan figured out. James was still living in his forest and promised to alert them directly if he’d see something unusual and he would try to save them some time. In the beginning, Alva didn’t understand why the had to take all these precautions until the mage explained it to her. The Nilfgaardian Army was strong and powerful. They raided villages, stole their good, and raped the women. Their goal was to overrule Cintra, which means they wouldn’t hesitate to torture the people living here to receive any information they would mark as useful.

It was horrible and disgusting but it was the way this world worked. You have to protect yourself because nobody else will.

The job at the tavern kept her busy. It was quite fun now that Jaskier decided to stay. She liked his singing and his humor, even if sometimes he’d get on her nerves. He was flirting with every woman he could come across and needless to say, it didn’t stay with flirting if the girl agreed.

Gladly Jaskier understood rather quickly not to tease Alva's patience because she didn’t care about the girly behavior this world was used to. She was quick with grabbing any nearby object and chasing the bard with it. Once or twice even with his lute.

She would consider them both as good friends, which is why she was asking the bard about his plans when the Niflgaards arrive. “They don’t scare me. I’m not scared of anything. I could even get some new stories to tell in my songs.”

The bard was sometimes naive but he assured Alva that he knew what was coming and that he will be prepared.

Another day another workday for Alva. It was all peaceful and quiet, especially in the mornings. She liked that shift a lot. But not today. She was the first server to enter and she quickly realized that. Dozens of mugs were laying on the floor, bear and gin spilled everywhere.

“Was there a party I don’t know about?” Alva let that question settle in the room, soon recognizing that no one was there to talk to.

“All right, fuck all of you then.”

“Why you gotta be so mean all the time?” 

The mumbling sound of Jaskier's voice broke the silence and Alva spotted his hat in one of the corners of the room. The rest was hidden behind a barrel. He looked rather ruff. His Jacket was thrown on the chair beside him and his shirt was unbuttoned pretty far down. Thankfully he had his pants still on.

“Because you're sleeping quietly in your corner while I have to scrub the floor that you probably spilled you drink on.” Alva throws her bag at Jaskier, hitting him right in the belly.

“That was uncalled for. And to be exact it wasn’t only me. The men last night were enormously friendly and gave everyone a drink for free. Let me tell you it was fantastic.”

“Glad to hear you had a good time. Did you earn more than usual.”

“Probably. Can’t remember if I shall be completely honest.”

That sounded like typical Jaskier. 

Alva grabbed some towels and a bucket, filling it with water and soap. She dipped one into the liquid and searched for her target. Jaskier was standing a few meters away. His back was facing her.

“Don’t you know that turning your back to someone is just plain rude.” And with these words, the towel was being thrown, right on Jaskier's head. But the bard didn’t seem to mind the wet cloth sitting on top of his head.

“What the hell are you doing Jaskier?” The girl made her way over to him, to take a look at the interesting thing Jaskier was concentrated on. 

She didn’t like was she was seeing. Jaskier had opened her bag and grabbed one of her leather notebooks, Sevilla gave her exactly 3 of them, so she could keep track of this world and for anything else, Alva wanted to write down.

“You lied to me!” Jaskier let out an offended sigh. “You are a bard yourself and you didn’t tell me? I'm deeply offended, Alva.”

Alva tried to snatch the book out of his hands, unsuccessfully. “Jaskier, I will kick your ass! Give it back!” Jaskier was probably about 1 ½ head taller than Alva. That made it far more difficult.

“Why would I? These are amazing. Why did you hide them from me?”

“I’m not a bard Jaskier. I just like to write songs, get it?”

“You have to sing for me sometime or at least allow me to use some of your poetry.”

“For Christ's Sake Jaskier give me the book or I will kick you in your balls and that is a promise.”

Jaskier's shocked eyes stared her blank in the face. “No need to threaten me. But I've heard worse than that.” The bard still didn’t give the book back. Alva was struggling to get hold of his arm, that he held far up in the air. 

“That’s so romantic. May I quote ‘I've been hiding for so long, these feelings they’re not gone, can I tell anyone?’ What a poet you are little girl.”

“Jaskier I’m begging you, please stop!” Alva knew what the next line read. And she knew in which time frame she was captured. This will not end well.

“Why this is adorable! ’Afraid of what they'll say, so I push them away. I'm acting so strange.’ Does someone have a crush on good ol’ Jaskier?”

“Jaskier you don’t want to read further trust me.” Alva stopped reaching for her journal. It wouldn’t change what would happen next, she was too small and Jaskier to stubborn.

“’ They're so pretty it hurts. I'm not talking 'bout boys, I'm talking 'bout’ … oh.” There it was. Would he hate her now? Was she about to be abandoned from this village? She had no idea what would happen next.

“I’m sorry, Alva. I didn’t me to intrude your privacy.” Jaskier looked ashamed. That was a surprising sight. He quietly closed the book and handed it to her. She grabbed it and stuffed it bag in her back.

“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”

“No, don’t be afraid. I don’t mind that. It’s just a bummer, I thought you had a swarm for myself. I guess I was wrong.” Jaskier let out a friendly laugh and scratched the back of his head.

“Wait, you don’t hate me?”

“Why would I? I mean I’m fond of women myself so why would I blame you? I’m just a little bit disappointed. I thought maybe I had a chance to win you over, at least for a night.”

Alva punched Jaskier softly in his side. 

“You’re a douche. But if you want to know. I still think men are attractive. But in my opinion, women are as well. So why exactly decide?” Alva tried her best to explain Jaskier with the easiest way that she’s bisexual.

“Does that mean I still have a chance of winning you over?” Jaskier's typical smirk was setting and he wiggled with his eyebrows.

“Technically yes, but no thanks.”

“That was disappointing.”

The day went quietly after this. Alva was happy about the fact that Jaskier didn’t mind her sexuality at all. He was indeed a great friend. He kept it a secret as he promised. And he didn’t change one bit.

A couple of weeks later they were walking back from the village that was next to Walen. It was a one-day march but it didn’t bother them. Sevilla sent Alva to get herbs she ran out of and Jaskier gladly announced himself as her companion. He didn’t want her to get lost and a woman should never walk alone, in his opinion.

It was only about a half an hour walk left, they were just arriving in the forest of James when they saw black smoke rising from the direction they were heading. “What the hell?” Alva didn’t understand what that was supposed to be. It was new to her that the village people used smoke signals.

“That’s not good.” Jaskier started to run, Alva behind him. What’s happening? “Why are we running?”, called Alva so Jaskier was able to hear her through the cracking branches they were running over.

“I think Nilfgaard reached Walen! Hurry!”

Anxiety was crawling up her throat. This couldn’t be real. Sevilla warned her but she never took it that seriously. She thought this would never happen.

“Alva!” The familiar voice of James was ringing in her head. The Godling used this method a lot to talk to Alva without needing to be seen.

“What is happening, James?” “Nilfgaard raided the village not even ten minutes ago. You need to run away! Not in the direction of the village! It will be your death!” The Godling was panicking like a child. His voice sounded helpless.

“I have to make it. I need to see if Sevilla is okay. Can you shield us? I beg you, James.” Alva needed to flee with Sevilla, she was not going to leave her there. “I try my best. But there are too many. You won't have much time.”

“I don’t need long, just help us!”

In the far Sevilla's house came in sight. It looked like normal, only the pots and jar outside the house were broken.

“Be quiet. I saw some soldiers not far from here. It's Nilfgaard. We have to leave!” Jaskier was pushing her in a bush, trying to have at least a little bit of cover. Screams and cries became audible. Uncontrolled and painful.

“Sevilla had a plan. I need to get her. We have horses. You can come with us Jaskier. But I need to get Sevilla, do you understand?” Alva was determined. 

She was not going to leave her. She was like a mother to her, all this time. She gave her a home when anyone else would have left her to die. The girl pushed the fabric of her dress aside, grabbing the hidden dagger.

“You are crazy! Going in there.”

“You will not stop me.”

“Alright then. Let’s go, you crazy girl. When we die, at least we’ll die together.”

They were slowly approaching the cottage. Trying to make out any sound.

“There is no one around you. You can enter.” James was back in her head. Alva didn’t hesitate anymore, breaking through the door.

It was horrifying. Everything was broken. All of the herbs were ripped out of their pots. All of their clothing was laying ripped on the floor. The fireplace was burning and tons of papers were stuffed into it.

But the worst thing was yet to come. Sevilla was laying on her stomach. The back part of an arrow was sticking out of her back.

“Sevilla!” The girl let out a shrieking scream. Jaskier quickly covered her mouth and held her in his arms. 

The was so much blood. All of her clothes were colored in a dark red. She wasn’t moving anymore.

“Alva, you need to listen to me.” Jaskier was grabbing her face and trying to get her to focus. “I know this is hard but you have to grief later. She wouldn’t want you to die here. You told me she protected you, I understand. But we have to leave.”

Alva was frozen, not even noticing her tears falling to the floor. “I can't keep them away much longer Alva!” A panicked voice ripped her out of her trance state. 

She wouldn’t want her to die. She has to live for her. “T- The rug. Under the rug.” Jaskier pushed the carpet aside and a hatch became visible.

Jaskier opened it and there were 6 bags stuffed together. Each of them grabbed three.

Alva was still looking at the corpse of Sevilla. She was lost in this world once again. No help to escape it.

“The horses! Where are they, Alva?” Jaskier started to panic like the girl. 

“Behind the house in the shed.”

Both ran outside, with a last glance at the mage they left. The horses were still outside, visibly unsettled.

“Help me saddle them. Hurry up!” They fixed the straps and secured the bags. While doing that a not fell out of the pockets attached to the saddle. Quickly picking it up she stuffed it on the inside of her pants. 

“You need to ride with this dress. Are you able to do that?” Jaskier wanted to make sure the girl stayed focused. It was the most important thing at the moment.

“N-no, I can't. B-but.” She held up her dagger and sliced the fabric of her legs. Ripping every single part of it off her body. Anger was building up in her body. “Stop that! We don’t have time for one of your outbreaks. Get up! Now!” Jaskier helped the girl on the horse and fastly climbed on the other one.

The horses picked up on speed. They could sense that they were in a dangerous situation. Alva looked back at the small village she called her home. But now she has to travel into the unknown with a bard my her side.