#also the kid was entirely unnecessary. no matter how many movies try to convince us that john likes kids and doesn’t want them hurt

[hidingoutbackstage]

Siddd as a fellow Sawtual how did you like Saw X :)

GOOD FUCKING MOVEY

[2manyfandoms2count]

Sleepless in Paris

I ended up not posting anything Ladrien in June when I'd planned to do something, but then I saw the last prompt of @ladrienjune (Speechless), and since it tied in with an idea I had a couple of weeks ago... Here you go!

Established Ladrien, Adrien receives a text from his girlfriend and overthinks its meaning. Thankfully Ladybug comes and clears things up.

Loosely based on a quote from Le Discours, a novel by Fabrice Caro.

Read on AO3

---

Adrien, we need to talk.

Adrien read the message over and over again, like an overworked student stuck on a paragraph whose meaning just won’t register.

He tossed his phone aside and lied back down, rubbing his eyes as he did so.

Oh, how much he regretted ever getting Ladybug a private phone so they could communicate. It had seemed like a good idea after their third close call, when she had almost swung into his room like she owned the place (and maybe she did, she was his girlfriend, after all, anything was possible), in the middle of an impromptu piano recital his father had requested. Thankfully, the false notes he’d made upon seeing her almost crash into the window had covered any sound she’d made as she changed course, and made sure his father and Nathalie’s attention was on him, and not on the red blur just outside.

She’d laughed so prettily when she’d unwrapped the box and noticed that he’d painted little black dots on the back of the red phone case. She’d insisted on paying him back in kisses and sweet nothings. Even if he’d wanted to, he wouldn’t have been able to refuse; his girlfriend was convincing like that.

Yes. Those had been the good old days.

The ones when the messages he received from her didn’t come as a blow that made his stomach tie into knots and question if he was going to be okay (although that might not have been entirely true; the feeling he’d gotten when he’d read “I love you” on his screen, written down, not just whispered between two makeout sessions or before she left, a permanent trace of her feelings, could definitely have fit that description, but the difference was that he’d questioned if he was in heaven, then).

The timestamp of the message read Monday, 4:36pm. He’d managed to type a “when?” at 5:58pm, which she’d seen at 5:59pm. Nothing since. That was new, too. Even messages that didn’t require an answer always got at least a couple of emojis in reply.

It was now Tuesday, 6:12am, and he hadn’t slept a wink, dissecting the five words, twenty characters, like they were a long lost spell that could fix hunger on Earth.

The first thing he’d noticed was the full stop. That didn’t bode well - even he knew that nobody ended a text like that these days.

Then, the comma. A pause. Not great either, in the context of a relationship.

Especially when it came before a “we need to talk”. He didn’t need to have seen many romantic comedies to know that this was probably an end of the line warning.

Even his name was a sign.

Adrien.

Not “my prince”. Not “my love”. Not even “my Adrien”, like she’d taken to calling him recently. Just plain old boring Adrien . Until the message had arrived, he hadn’t realised they’d been on a downward slope, but maybe he’d been too busy burying his head in the sand to notice. Maybe deep down, he’d known that it wasn’t viable.

That Ladybug, basically a goddess among men, had no business being in a relationship with a commoner like him, however much she tried to fool herself by calling him her prince. Adrien. The more he read it, the more emphasis he put on the second syllable. Ad- rien . Ad rien. Towards nothing. Maybe she’d known they were doomed from the start, that they had no future, but she’d tried anyway.

Maybe he was reading too much into it and the lack of sleep was making him delirious.

Whatever the outcome, he supposed they’d had a good run. He’d cherish all of the moments they’d spent together.

Actually, he thought, sitting up again, maybe that was what she needed. Maybe he could change her mind if he reminded her of all their good memories. There was no way she couldn’t be convinced, or at least persuaded, by his plea. He hadn’t gone six months playing a double game of putting on a fake insensitivity mask over the one he wore with Chat Noir's to avoid her seeing through him, when she deserved to be showered in compliments at every moment of the day, for it to end this way.

He loved her.

He picked up his phone again and pressed the dial button.

One tone. Two tones. Three.

Adrien suddenly remembered the time, hastily hung up, and facepalmed audibly, making Plagg roll over in his sleep and hiss.

“Sorry,” he whispered, before turning his attention back to the phone.

If his call hadn’t woken her up, then his mistake would be the first thing she’d see when she did.

This was bad. It wasn’t like he could go delete the evidence. He didn’t know where she lived, and since he doubted that she slept while transformed, there was no way to track her. Which would also be bad, he reminded himself, but maybe this emergency would justify it.

Anyway,  he couldn't cry over spilt milk, but maybe he could escape. Just move somewhere, preferably on the other side of the world. He could change his life, his name (actually, could that alone change the outcome of their relationship? If he changed it before planning anything, could they pick up as if nothing happened, and would the timeline be fixed? He wished he’d thought about it before calling her), and raise hamsters in the mountains. What he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, right? And then he could live happily ever after in the sweet, sweet illusion that despite them being miles apart, he still lived in a world in which he was Ladybug’s boyfriend.

He didn’t know if he preferred the idea of her never coming after him, or her seeking him out, even if it was to deliver bad news, but it didn’t really matter. The plan sounded good. Foolproof.

He hopped off of his bed and pulled a suitcase out of his closet. He’d always wondered why his father stored them there when it really seemed like an unnecessary temptation, but at least it was useful now.

If he was to start over somewhere, he needed to leave Adrien behind. The guy was a train wreck anyway, but unfortunately for him, a train wreck people would want to find, when he just wanted to be left alone to mope.

No more white shirts, then. They were too recognisable. He found a collection of dark hoodies at the back of the closet and stuffed them in the bag, along with t-shirts (they’d be hidden under his hoodie so he could keep those), a pair of jeans and some shorts.

He came back into his room and put his suitcase on his bed, scanning his surroundings for other essentials. His eyes landed on the fencing cup he kept his Ladybug pictures in. He’d definitely need those. It would help maintain him in his illusion. He also needed his Ladybug pyjamas, which he kept hidden since he wasn’t sure his father would approve of them. They’d be perfect for his new life.

Plagg stirred on his pillow. Before Adrien could ask himself whether it was reasonable for the small god to come with him, there was a knock on the window, and he froze. He turned around slowly; Ladybug stood in the window frame, looking glorious in the soft dawn light. He noticed she was holding a small paper bag in her left hand. He was sure it could fit everything he’d ever gotten her.

“Going somewhere?” She frowned, hopping inside before he could even move.

Adrien stared at her, before guessing he’d better bite the bullet. “Well I just figured I’d rather not stick around if you’re going to break up with me.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

He watched her face fall and started to doubt his conclusion.

“Break up with…” she muttered slowly, as if tasting the words, before shaking her head. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Adrien, we need to talk.” He airquoted. “I get it, it’s fine. I’m-”

“Adrien, I’m not here to break up with you. At all.” She shook her head again and took a step forward. “What would make you think that?”

“Adrien, first of all,” he stated.

“Your name?...” She tilted her head inquisitively.

“You used to call me my Adrien. Or sweeter stuff.” He pointed out.

“Oh Kwami.” She shook her head, trying to repress a smile, although the blond didn’t notice.

“And then don’t think I didn’t notice you being less present lately.” He waved a finger at her, feeling himself blush. He knew his accusation was a tad hypocritical; sure, their date hangouts in the previous few weeks had been less frequent than they’d been at the beginning of their relationship, when she’d drop in practically every day, but they’d also been full of Akumas and photoshoots, what with his father’s new collection dropping. She’d managed to beat him to his room most days, hanging out around the windows as she waited, which had made it very difficult for him to sneak back in.

But on the occasions they had seen each other, she’d also seemed more lost in her thoughts than usual. Nervously wringing her hands together while they chilled in front of a movie, despite him soothingly raking his fingers through her hair. Being even more elusive about what was going on in her life, if that was possible. Looking at him with determination in her eyes, opening her mouth to speak, only to close it and shake her head with a sigh.

“I’m really sorry about that, my love .” She gave him a pointed look as she took his hand. “I’ve just been thinking a lot lately, about you, me, our relationship. How, you’re right, it might seem like we’re spending less time together to you , but…” she trailed off, biting her lip.

“How could that statement have a but ?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Well, um, I had this sort of crazy idea, because we’ve only been dating for six months and it’s totally not like I ever imagined us getting married and having three kids and a hamster or anything…” she mumbled nervously, and Adrien felt his heart flutter in his chest. “Anyway, I’ve been trying to get a hold of Chat Noir all night to check that he approves the idea, and also because I feel like it’s kind of an unspoken agreement that unless it’s an emergency and it really feels right, we’d do this together first, but he’s not replying and I was awake and you were awake and I thought…”

“Okay my… Lovebug, breathe.” Adrien’s caring boyfriend instinct kicked in as her rambling gave him confirmation that their relationship wasn’t in immediate danger, and he placed his hands on her shoulders, taking a deep breath to show the example. She mirrored him, and they breathed in sync for a couple of cycles, until he was satisfied that she’d stopped hyperventilating. He lead her to his couch and helped her sit down.

“Croissant?” she asked shyly, presenting him with the bag she’d brought. A pastry bag. Not a bag with his belongings. He really needed to stop jumping to conclusions.

“You know me so well.” He smiled brightly as he took one of the baked goods. They were still warm. The croissant didn’t last long in his hands. “Anyway,” he gulped down the last bite, “if you don’t mind me asking, what was your miraculous idea?” He smiled at himself, proud of his pun.

“Well, I was thinking that I could reveal my identity to you,” Ladybug replied, daintily wiping the corners of her mouth with a tissue.

It was a good thing Adrien was already sitting down, else more than his jaw would have ended up on the floor.

“Your… Your identity. Reveal. To me.” He asked seriously, hoping his words would make sense to her. It was better than remaining speechless.

“Yes, I am considering it,” she laughed. The sound made his brain tangle even more.

“Why?” He croaked.

“Well, as I said, it would enable us to spend more time together.” He raised his eyebrows, but she didn’t elaborate. “And I don’t know, I feel like it would be right. You’ve got something, Adrien.” She smiled tenderly.

“I… I do?” He felt himself blush.

“It’s just a croissant crumb, there, let me get it for you.” She leaned forwards and kissed the corner of his mouth. The contact jump started his brain.

“Ladybug, this is serious.” He backed away slightly. “Why me?”

“Fine.” She sighed. “Well, you're my boyfriend, but I know you a lot better than you might think. Before you say anything, no, I can’t tell you why yet, I need to speak to Chat Noir first. But there is something about you, Adrien. I feel like I can trust you. With this. Because of course I trust you otherwise.”

Adrien looked down at his hands and twiddled his thumbs, pouting as he thought.

“Adr- Sunshine? Is everything alright?” Ladybug placed a concerned hand on his thigh when his silence stretched to a slightly uncomfortable length.

“When you talk to Chat Noir, and he agrees to your plan…” He looked up and met her gaze.

“If,” she corrected him, but he waved her interruption away.

“...Will you guys reveal your identities to each other? Will you ask Chat Noir who he is under the mask?” He felt almost feverish as he searched her eyes for a hint of the answer before she could speak.

“Um, yes, I guess that’s how I saw the discussion going.” Ladybug frowned. “Are you concerned that it will change our relationship somehow? Because I promise it won’t, I-”

“Oh Bluebell, it definitely will, but not in the way that you think.” Adrien pecked her lips, a mischievous smile spreading on his as he pulled away.

“Oh?” Ladybug blinked a couple of times. Adrien tried to hide his smugness at her speechlessness.

“Yep. You see, I’m one hundred percent paw-sitive your dearest partner will agree to your plan.” He grinned, watching the realisation dawn on her face.

“How hard was refraining from making cat puns in the past six months?” Ladybug finally sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Very, my Lady.” He pouted. "But not as hard as refraining from kissing you on patrol."

“Maybe you can help him pay up all the Camembert he owes me for sitting through him ranting about all the missed opportunities,” Plagg called out, making her jump slightly. Adrien rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, you were right, your plan really will allow us to spend more time together!” His face lit up like a kid's on Christmas morning.

“You don’t know the half of it.” Ladybug shook her head, before looking back up at him, an indecipherable look on her face. “Need a lift for school?”

“That’s all you’ve got to say?” Adrien looked at his girlfriend with kitten eyes, disappointed that she hadn’t held up her side of the bargain.

“Well, it’s time to go if you don’t want to be caught by your bodyguard.” She shrugged, stood up, and extended a hand toward him, the twinkle in her eye the only tell in her poker face.

“Ladybug…” He whined, pouting.

“What, Chaton?” Her smile finally broke free. “It’s very literally on my way. I can drop you off at your seat, and then walk to mine… Right behind you.” She booped him on the nose.

Once again, Adrien was thankful he was already sitting down.

As she carried him to school, Adrien decided sleep was overrated. Sometimes reality was the best dream of all.

[daydream-believin]

The Never-Ending Roadtrip (new beginnings)

Summary: Reader joins Douxie in the quest for Nari’s safety. He’ll need company won’t he? - Also, a talk about Merlin and grief. It’s big feelings time. (part two)

Warnings: Swearing, theres like three bad puns and at least one meme im sorry

Word Count: 2713

A/N: inspired by the fact that i recently moved states and it was the most tedious trip ever. It took the entire day. i was bored out of my mind. So i decided to write about going on a long boring roadtrip with Douxie instead. also, i have a black cat myself and i can attest that they are little domesticated demons. she didn’t like the long trip either.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Douxie deadpanned when he saw (Name) run up to join him on the ship, perching on the edge. “Well I’m coming with you, obviously.” Douxie had known the young woman long enough to know that there would not be a point in arguing. They would just go round and round for hours before she ultimately won. She fought dirty, puppy dog eyes and all. He didn’t have time for this.

After making sure that Archie and Nari were secure, Doux turned back to (Name), “You’re absolutely sure about this decision, love? Once we take off there’s no going back. We could even be running for the rest of our lives. You really should stay with the others,” he warned.

She looked annoyed. “Yes, Doux. I am absolutely sure. I wouldn’t want you to do this alone. And besides, you’ll need me.”

He blushed for a second before realizing she meant he would need her as in extra backup and not that he needed her needed her. Trying not to show the slight disappointment that was written on his face, he chuckled and covered his cheek with his palm, “Of course.”

They set off into the early morning sky. After waving goodbye to the rest of the gang, (Name) clung to the golden railing, looking out over California in amazement. It was like she was in a movie. This was her life changing magic carpet ride. Of course, a lot about her life had seemed to be out of a movie lately. Ever since she discovered her gift for sorcery. Ever since she got mixed up in all this Arcadian mess. Ever since she met Douxie.

Surprisingly, Douxie was really talkative for the first few hours of the trip. (Name) had expected him to be a bit more closed off, considering the week they had just gone through. He was really gushy too, with his heart on his sleeve even more so than usual, and that’s saying something for Douxie. Maybe momentary death was good for unclogging heart pipes.  (Name) was loving it. Not the momentary death thing. That had almost stopped her heart. No, it was so nice to be having such lighthearted conversation with her friends. Kept her from dwelling on things. Once night got closer, though, she couldn’t help it. What could she say, the pink splattered purple sunset made her sentimental. She and Douxie had slipped into a little talk about Arcadia, about the kids, about what had happened, and about what was next for them. Despite her gushing about how happy she was to be here with him, Douxie still felt really guilty that he put her through all this. She made the mistake of telling him how much it scared her, everything that happened earlier. She made a bigger mistake telling him how she cried over his body, refusing to accept that he was gone. He wasn’t of course, but she didn’t know that.

He suddenly got quiet after that. The conversation lulled. Even Nari and Archie seemed to sense that something was off and kept quiet. After watching the stars roll by in silence for a few hours, (Name) started to feel the tug of sleep. She tried to find a cozy spot, but failed, because she was on a ship. A pretty basic little vessel. There were no seats or anything even kind of cushiony. She contemplated using Archie as a pillow, but that probably wouldn’t fly well with him. Pun intended.

Douxie was still as statue, staring out straight ahead into the clouds. Like a grizzled old sea captain. The bags under his eyes were getting worse than usual, but (Name) decided to not to say anything to him and let it be. He looked like he was enjoying the silence. She didn’t think he’d sleep tonight. How could he? She mused. (Name) herself hadn’t even begun to truly process all that had happened. She wished she knew what to say. Anything to comfort him, to let him know she’s be there. But (Name) was no use now, in her sleepy state. She might make it worse. She’d try talking to him in the morning. If he even wanted to talk.

In the end, (Name) wound up leaning against the corner, using her balled up over-shirt as a pillow. It was a bit colder now, but with Nari snuggled up in her lap and Archie stretched out over her legs, she’d be just fine. They might as well had been heaters. Doux wouldn’t join them, insisting that they needed to fly through the entire night to put as much distance between them and Arcadia as possible. He assured them that he’d wake them up if something was the matter. Of course, they were sleeping on an open deck floor. Any sort of trouble would wake them up immediately anyway, but it was a nice thought. (Name) snuggled into her makeshift pillow. She took one last look at Douxie, brooding at the helm, before slipping off to dreamland. It was a mediocre dream.

The morning sun came sooner than (Name) wanted. The cheeky bugger. There was no use trying to go back to sleep. The sun was too big and bright. so, so bright. Nari also stirred when the sun beam hit her face. She blinked blearily and let out a cute yawn. Or at least it would have been cute, had it not been directly into (Name)’s face. (Name) had to give it to Nari though, her morning breath actually didn’t smell bad. It was earthy, floral even. Damn nature spirits. Despite (Name) and Nari being awake, the sun’s rays seemed to have little to no effect on Archie. He could sleep through anything, on anything, at any time. Damn cats.

Douxie looked like the dead. His raven hair was a mess, lips chapped from the wind. Those eyebags had somehow gotten even worse. Douxie gave Tim Burton characters a run for their money. (Name) decided it might be better to wait until she was a bit more awake and articulate to try and talk to him more about… the, ah, events from yesterday. Yet, she was fully aware that if she kept procrastinating, the conversation was just going to get worse and worse. But the timing’s not right. Yes, the timing’s just not right. The stars, they’re not in position. In fact it might be easier if she got him to take a nap first. Yeah, no need to cause sleep deprived Douxie to have an unnecessary breakdown.

It took some convincing, but (Name) finally got him to agree to let her take the helm and get that well deserved rest. Not that Douxie thought he deserved it. He wasn’t too happy about leaving (Name) and Nari alone, figuratively, while he was unconscious and unable to protect them. He wasn’t too happy about a lot of things, really. He especially didn’t care to be alone with his subconscious. But with the worried look (Name) gave him, he couldn’t help but comply with her demands. Her and her bloody puppy dog eyes.

He woke up to the sound of (Name)’s singing. She probably hadn’t meant to wake him up, with her soft voice hushed, but nonetheless he was awake. Douxie was a light sleeper. He had to be, after all his troublesome years. She was singing a sweet little love song. He felt a drumming in his chest as he listened. Speaking of his chest, there seemed to be a bit of pressure on it. A familiar pressure. It started to purr, sending the comforting vibrations through his ribcage. He gave Arch a good scritch behind the ears before sitting up.

“Your voice is so lovely, you know. I cannot imagine why you’re always hiding it.”

Name startled. “Did I wake you?” she asked, concerned since he hadn’t been out but for a few hours.

“Yes, you had,” He began gently, “But, I’m glad.”

“You’re glad?”

“Of course, I got to hear that beautiful singing voice of yours. Quite the rarity, innit?”

(Name) flushed. She wasn’t sure if she was flattered by his compliments or embarrassed that he had caught her singing once again. Still, she tried to refute his words but all that came out was a flustered sputter. Thankfully, Nari came to the rescue. Unintentionally, but a rescue all the same.

“Hisirdoux, now that you are awake, may I ask where it is that we are going?” the small goddess asked.

“Oh, uh, about that,” Doux wrapped his arms behind his back and sucked some air through his teeth, “I actually didn’t have a set place in mind. I think we’ll just wing it. On our winged boat.”

(Name) whipped her head towards him so fast she’d get whiplash. She didn’t even acknowledge the terrible joke. “I’m terribly sorry, but you what.”

“I just thought we’d head northeast for now. Once we run out of land, we’ll pick a new direction. It’s not like we’d be able to stay too long in a place, after all. It’s safer to be constantly moving.” He tried not to sound to unsure in this rambling. He did have a plan, just not one that looked too solid on a piece of paper. It’ll be fine. They’ll be fine.

“I- okay.” She didn’t sound too panicked, which Douxie counted as a win. Still, he didn’t want her to be too stressed about the uncertainties. He figured he might as well just pick a place to ease her fears a bit. She couldn’t worry herself raw, that was his job.

“How about New York City? That can be our first official destination on the Never-Ending Roadtrip.”

“Yeah, yeah okay. New York City, that sounds nice.” Victory.

***

“Ugh, we’ve been flying over basically the same damn thing forever! Can’t this thing go any faster?” (Name) whined as she leaned over the edge like a wilted flower. Her wind-mussed hair hung over her face. It took everything in Douxie not to flinch whenever she got to close to where she might fall out. Sure, she would most likely be able to break her fall with magic, not coming out with too many scratches, but it still scared him just the same. (Name) was gonna give him a heart attack one of these days.

“It’s a fucking magical flying boat, (Name). It goes eighty miles per hour tops. Do you know how advanced that was in the twelfth century? It was a fucking miracle of technology, (Name). It’s not the boat’s fault we’re currently travelling through Kansas.” Doux huffed. He quickly felt guilty for snapping at her and apologized. He felt a bit on edge lately. Their conversation last night kind of freaked him out. He wanted to be a little more protective of her now since she told him about how scared she was, but snapping at her would just accomplish the opposite of getting across how much he cared.

Name sighed. Looking around the ship, she noticed that Nari and Archie were just napping in the sun, completely unbothered by her and Douxie’s loud outbursts. She looked back out into the seemingly infinite grass field again.

“Well, I guess now is a pretty good time,” She said cryptically, “Hisirdoux, we need to talk.”

It was like she just injected ice water into his veins. He didn’t like her tone, plus, those words were never proceeded by something good. Never. “To talk?” he asked with a nervous tinge in his voice, hoping if she elaborated it wouldn’t be as bad as the conclusions he was jumping to.

“Yeah. Talk. About your feelings.” Well now he was panicking. She said that so solemnly. How did she know? Fuzzbuckets, she was about to reject him, on this boat they were stuck on, in the middle of Kansas. Rip out his heart and throw it into the grassy void.

“To talk, about my feelings?” he repeated her again, incredulously. He put on his best fake smile.

“Yes, Doux.” She sat down on the railing near him and crossed her legs. “I just- I think it’s time we had a proper conversation about stuff. Like say, I don’t know, how you’re handling your grief over a certain mentor.”

Douxie quickly let go of the breath, he wasn’t sure when he started holding, in a loud sigh of relief. Oh thank Merlin, he thought this was going to be bad. That’s what she wanted to talk about? Okay, not the problem he was expecting, but one he could deal with. He’s already had a couple of good cries. He spent most of last night mulling over not just Merlin but the whole concept of death. He could talk about the weight of grief hanging over his heart, no big deal.

“I believe I am handling it well, thank you for your concern, Love.” He tried to sound nonchalant.

“Hisirdoux Casperan, you stared out into the distance with unblinking glassy eyes for hours last night and barely spoke to any of us. Hell, you fucking died yesterday, Doux. Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that. You’re not fine. And you’re not weaseling your way out of this conversation either.” She said sternly. They entered an unspoken staring contest.

“Alright, Love, fine. I am fine. Okay?” She quirked her brow. “I am, truly. I’m at peace. He lived a good life and I’ll continue his legacy with honour. Of course I’m still sad about it, but I’ve got other things to focus on right now. Sure, my chest is still heavy, but it’s not crushing like it was when the wound was fresh,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “And I did get my last goodbye talk with him when I was dead,” He chuckled to try and lighten that last bit up, but name still winced at his words.

“Douxie, I just- I know what it’s like, ya know. To suddenly no longer have that father figure in your life. Someone you looked up to for so long. It’s hard Doux, I get that.” She sympathized. She tipped her head down towards the deck floor.

“Well, in a way, he’s already been gone for about, say, nine centuries. I’ve had my time away from him, so I know that I can do it. It’s the knowing that now he’s gone gone that’s the real kicker.” He glanced across the boat over to the sleeping pile of fur and greenery. Nari was curled up into a ball while Archie mirrored the same, but on top of her. They were like a couple of stacked buns. Douxie smiled at the sight. “And yet, do you know what makes it all feel better?” Name looked back up at him and furrowed her brows.

“You. And Archie. And Zoe. And Claire. And my bandmates and my coworkers and the rest of the Arcadia gang. I’ve got plenty of people in the world now. I know I’ve got all kinds of love.”  He hung his arm over her shoulders. He had made up his mind, he was going to open his heart to her soon. Almost dying really puts one’s priorities in view. “Recently, a great man, well, a great dragon, told me that family is not just who you have, it’s also who you’re with. If one thing I’ve learned in this nightmare week, it’s that you’ve got to enjoy people while you can. Because once they’re gone, they’re gone. You can’t dwell on past love, you’ve got to soak in the love you’ve got now, or you’ll miss it.”

“I guess I understand that.” (Name) said softly. She took in his words. Focus on the now love, huh. She could use to do that too. She felt his hand move from her shoulder to the small of her back.

“Oh hey look at that, we’re coming up on Missouri. How about we stop for brunch, Love?”

“Oh I’m starving,” Archie butt into the conversation and flew over to rest on (Name)’s shoulder. He did one of those black cat yawns where they turn their entire faces inside out and they become nothing more than a black hole with teeth, “I could really go for a bagel with extra lox right now.”

[mrstransformersfanfiction]

Title: New Beginnings

Disclaimer: my OCs I designed belongs to TorianScriber2012

A/N: So it was meant to be a one shot but apparently I decided to do a very short mini series. Writing prompts I thought out yesterday. A little dabble in the alternate universe of and I definitely was upset when Bayverse movie killed Jazz.

I feel need to doze some love to this little bot character that didn't deserve to die in Megatron's hands in the movie and Jazz is cool! I'm kind of working on the title and haven't come up with one unlike the crossover I was working on. That's my primary goal. I did have many series one shots in mind but I might turn to series.

Summary: (AU) What if Jazz have a human partner to protect and still is alive? William Lennox asked his student, Esther Tseo, a graduated soldier on the NEST team to bring her Autobot guardian home. What can possibly go wrong when her family meets Jazz?

Graduation

Chapter one

Esther Tseo was finally packing her bag. It was time to go home and she only got one week leave. After all, she promised her mum that she will come back home and to the rest of her family.

She now triple check on her items in her luggage until there was a knock on the door. The new recruit soldier went out to the entrance to find herself face to face with her commanding officer: Colonel William Lennox. Esther gave a salute to him.

"What did I say about formality when not on duty?" Lennox sighed.

"That I don't have to salute you when on duty?" Esther replied cheekily at her CO.

"Yes. Relax, kid. Come to my office." Lennox declared to her. "I got three things I want to go over with you before you go back home to Hawaii."

Oh scrap. Esther had a feeling she knew what he'd wanted to discussed with her about and it was something she hidden not just from her Autobot guardian, Jazz, but also to her teacher and wasn't surprised at all if her mum did blabbed out her medical condition to him.

The young female officer followed her mentor out to his familiar office. The loud ruckuss outside was considered normal within the military base from the Autobots. There is always training involved especially hand to hand combat or else weaponary designed courtesy by Wheeljack.

In passing, Jazz waved at her and Esther smiled at her guardian in response. The lady returned a friendly waved at him. Once the colonel and Esther walked into the office, Will threw the file back on the desk and gestured her to sit down. His student took the sit.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a heart condition?" The colonel rested his chin on his knuckles.

"How did you find out I had one?" Esther's eyes widened in shocked.

"Answer the question, kid." Will said very firmly and raised a finger at her sternly. "I'm only going to asked once." He looked already stressed out. There was a huge concerned in his tone.

Esther sighed and slumped back to her sit. There was a whole lot of reasons why she didn't declared her medical condition onto the paper and wanted to try her luck. She always felt that Will was like a father that she never have. She pondered his request.

"Because I didn't want my medical condition to be an excuse, to get in the way and I wanted to try my luck, to see how far I can get." Esther admitted to him guiltily to him. She gazed at the floor when she answered.

Will walked over to her. He clasped onto her hand and the other, lifted her chin up with his finger. Reluctantly, Esther returned her gazed to him. She pictured the whole conversation Will must had with her mother and can imagine how her mother berated at him in her panic voice in clear desperation.

"No. You won't be dismissed from the NEST team. That's a promised. But, I spoke to your mum and she's pretty determined to get you off the military service. You know I had to follow protocol after an injury report, Esther. I am behind you one thousand percent because you were the best candidate soldier I ever seen in the field. I will personally vouch for you and fight for your case.

"All I asked in the future is not to keep anything from me. So I can take all the necessary precaution. Personally, I would not even have minded even if you told me back then. I can also see that serving with the NEST team means the whole world to you. I understand you also gotten closer with your Autobot guardian, Jazz.

Esther nodded in agreement. The last part was very true. She become very accustomed to Jazz and he was the one who taught her how to drive a vehicle because she didn't have her license. Plus, a good opportunity for the duo to learn the road rules. She looked apologetically at her teacher.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to lie to you. That wasn't my intention. I guessed I wanted to hold off the matter for as long as possible. All my life I wanted to feel normal and I didn't want anyone to choose for me. I wanted to be able to choose a path for myself." Esther told him truthfully.

"You didn't lie to me, kid. Trust me. We all kind of found out on our own to be honest with you." Will massaged his eyes with his palms. He stiffled a yawned. It had been a really long day for all of them. "Okay. First up, after this meeting, I want you to see Jazz. He was worried out of his mind about you when he found out and didn't stopped hassling me all week about human anatomy and medicine.

Esther grinned. That definitely sounded a lot like Jazz. She can imagine her Autobot guardian personally walking beside him, annoying the hell out of her superior officer around the base. She didn't dare to speak but merely listen to her boss who'd continued in a business way of the day to day schedule per usual. Will definitely looked rattled.

Though, she can imagine Jazz's reaction and the entire scenario in her head, where her guardian was poking for further information when he wasn't meant to and after her last encounter with the Decepticon made him all very jumpy. It was his job to know everything.

"I'll be honest with you, Esther. Jazz actually found out on his own too and did a quick scan on you when you were unconscious the last time you were at the infirmary. I want you to apologize to him too in person. He looked pretty offended you didn't tell him because he felt you were family to him even though you're not by blood.

At his words, Esther felt a wave of guilt erupted in her heart. Her stomach churned uncomfortably. She didn't intend for Jazz to worry or the fact to feel that way. This was one of the main reason why she didn't want her medical condition to be known because everyone worries. Esther always considered herself to be a very capable independent person.

"Secondly, what I wanted to talked to you about, and I know it sound totally ridiculous or unnecessary, is to let your family meet Jazz. I put my hand up: this isn't my idea. The idea belongs to Optimus. So you had to try to convince him and believed me, I tried. Optimus wanted to introduced himself to your family. But, I put my foot down on that. Personally, I think Jazz will be more than enough for your mum to handle. Will assured his student.

He noted Esther looked on the verge of hysterics amusement now with a mix emotions shown on her face. Her face tells him all. At this, Esther couldn't helped but to burst off laughing at what he just told her. She could imagine Jazz being in her tiny occupied garage and knowing her Autobot guardian, he definitely couldn't sit still all day. There are a lot of incidents scenarios Esther was certain anything can go wrong in one day.

It took her awhile to settle down from her hysterical giggling that Will know all too well. Even Lennox cracked a smile at her. He had expected her reaction would be like this and didn't blame her. It was nice to see Esther looked like she was back to her normal self from her injury trauma incident encounter with the Decepticons attack at the base.

"No. Absolutely not, sir! This — This is a terrible idea. A total catastrophe in the making without a doubt. You don't know my mum. She have a temper and definitely will have a meltdown if she ever meets Jazz in person. No way! I will be more than happy to tell you the reasons why. Don't get me wrong. I love Jazz very much and like spending my time with him too because I learned a lot from him. He's a great teacher too.

"I have a very nosy neighbour with her two pet dogs, parks up the damn drive way like she owns the damn shit, plus her other relatives that drives up all the time to blocked the road and definitely there will be more than a few incidents while Jazz is on guard duty." Esther finished and blurted out completely.

Will placed his hands on her shoulder. "Calm down, Esther. Take a deep breathe. I totally agree with you what you are saying and don't think for one minute I haven't consider the consequences that can occur without neither of our knowledge.

"I was definitely thinking along those lines. Because, the first time Ironhide met my wife, Sarah, was exactly what your mother's reaction would be and when my daughter met Ironhide, she went absolutely bananas and started calling him Uncle Ironhide.

"I also did a lot of thinking and as crazy as the idea sound, I am incline to agree with Optimus fully because he was the one who'd led all of us to victory. So, I asked Optimus if he would be obliged to be in a human holoform which the Autobots are working on right now. I know is a lot to take in too.

"But, he's also right about your recent encounters with the Decepticons musn't happened again. His greatest fear is any of us to be hound onto the Nemesis warship for any sensitive classified information interrogated by the warlord. Optimus is usually worried about everyone's safety.

"And one last thing, Esther...I don't want you to feel awkward or intimidated or get the wrong idea or anything. But your mum gave me an earful earlier and she insisted I should stay at your sisters vacant room while I'm at your place for the week to talk about why you should still be with the military service." Will informed her. He even looked embarrassed.

"My mum said what?!" Esther yelped. She covered her face with her hand, now embarrassed in return. "I'm so sorry sir and I am totally embarrassed she cornered you like that! Let me speak with my mum." She reached for his phone and was about to dial home.

But Will stopped her mainly because he didn't want to also deal with her mum personally and definitely have enough of an earful for the day. At this, he realised how Esther and her mum is very alike: persistent and determined with no avail. One of the qualities that Will admired her very much and liked.

Esther turned to him when Will clasped his hand around hers. She never seen him this way: terrified at the prospect of an earful from a woman. Poor Will. She looked amused and sympathetic at the same time. She even forced herself not to smile about it. Her mum can be a push over person sometimes.

"N-n-n-n-no! H-h-h-hear me out, kid! I'm also going to be honest with you on this, one hundred percent! Because I took a deal with your mum. She said I had to convince her why she should let her daughter stay on, to show her the kind of man I am and I told her, that you are my responsibility and will do everything in my power to keep you safe." Will explained seriously.

Esther's heart was racing now. Her insides melted into tiny little pieces as she said it and wasn't why she felt so emotional right now. Will represented to her a way her father never did. All the young girl knows is her father walked out on the family when she was very little. Will was determined to go to extra length just for his modest student.

He wouldn't admit the real feelings towards her mainly because he was married and decided at that moment he will seal that feeling to lock away in a box never to be opened, ever. Very reluctantly, Esther sighed for the second time and nodded in answer, too stunned to comprehend anything else and too shocked to utter a word back. Her voice seem to be lost.

There was a moment there when they looked into each other in the eye. Will gripped onto her hands very tightly.

To be fair, Esther never looked at him in a boyfriend manner more like a father figure she couldn't explained even to herself. Sure, they'd spend every day at the base. So why was today any different? They had been alone everyday in the base together at the NEST team.

It wasn't until then Esther managed to find her own voice. She felt awkward indeed because she noticed his married ring on his finger on his left hand. She felt heat rise up her cheeks completely. Silent fill the room for a short while. Until, she spoke in a croaky voice.

"Uh, sir?" Esther gesture her head at her hand where Will gripped firmly on.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Will rubbed the back of his head in embarressment. He cleared his throat just to clear the uncomfortable tension. "I think that covers everything. Please. Don't call your mum. She knows we're coming over. I just feel your mum is a bit of a pushover sometimes. She's a great mum. But she's something else."

"Welcome to my world, sir." Esther smiled appreciatively at him. "Now you know why I stayed with a family friend of mine who's like a second mother to me. I don't mind people being protective. I just want to feel free and be independent."

"And you will be. Don't forget you got a job waiting with the NEST team." Will reminded her. At that moment, he looked immensely proud. "Congratulations Esther. Happy birthday. You completed all your training very successfully." His eyes twinkled with happiness genuinely.

"Thanks boss." Esther grinned broadly. A true smile Will witnessed on her face.

"You're welcome, kid. You earned it. I think we'd covered everything we need today. I truly understand why you hide your medical condition. I'm very impressed with how you carry yourself out. I'm super proud of you, today, Esther. I'm very proud. You are one of the best student I ever trained, kid." Will concluded.

"Thank you, sir." Esther couldn't helped her routine formalities. Will groaned only to earn a chuckle to his now former student.

"Kid, you do know you can call me Will when we're not on duty right?" Will smiled at her knowingly.

"I know. It's just traditional culture to respect the elders. Oh, and you might want to add in on the paperwork I got learning disability." Esther added casually now she was more inclined to trust her former mentor.

Will swiped his face with his hand. He still couldn't believed how she'd managed to keep that piece of information quiet or even her medical condition for that matter.

"Jesus Christ, Esther. One of these days, I'm going to have a heart attack." It was Will's turn to sighed and he rested his knuckles onto the table. "Duly noted. Enjoy your day. Happy birthday. Please go and see Jazz. You're free to go." Will said dismissively.

"Thanks...Will." Esther stood up. She made her way to his front door until she was stopped by her former teacher behind her who'd called out to her from the distance.

"Oh and Esther," Will tapped the side of his chin with his finger with a thoughtful look plastered across his face. "I feel I owe you a last explanation."

Esther gave him a questioning look at him. "How do you mean?"

"You know how your mum often writes letters after letters and electronics letters to the court house to petition to be exempt from the field?" Will said honestly to her in the open.

Esther's heart sank like a stone discouragely and felt her chances at the military base was slim. This should be good, she thought hopelessly at this situation.

"You should know Jazz was the one who'd interfered with it all and brought all the letters to me and trashed her emails that was about the exemplary from the base. In fact, he tore it out the paperwork in anger.

"He cares a great deal about you for your future and so do I. I just hoped you put more trust in us and don't feel like you got to do everything by yourself and let people in sometimes. That's all I asked. He's actually a pretty bad ass and had a real knack of interference too. Don't apologise to me, just see him. Be glad is not Ironhide that is your guardian." Will advised her seriously.

At this new knowledge, Esther let out a low whistle. Suddenly, out of the blue, she threw her arms around Will and hugged him tightly, forever grateful for their actions that they were the reason she made it this far to graduation. Will's face flushed brightly when his own student gave him a kissed on the cheek.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You're the best! Where's Jazz?!" Her whole face lit up.

"Uh...in Wheeljack's labratory...tinkering again..." Lennox patted her on the back lightly and felt awkward when he almost keeled over.

"Whoops! Thanks Mr William Lennox! Yeah. I'll see Jazz now!" Esther flung the door opened, closed the door lightly behind her and ran on ahead to find her Autobot guardian. It was clear that this was the best birthday present she'd ever received. A graduation. A job and a home. What more could she want?

Will sighed and stared after his former student. "It's William Lennox."

[dablkbox]

Did I Do That?

One thing I can admit is that I am a sucker for a sitcom with a well rounded family and some sort of quirky neighbor. If you're on the same train then you already know what show I had the pleasure of watching: Family Matters.

Family Matters premiered on September 22 1989, on ABC with the show later moving to CBS. The show starred Reginald VelJohnson as Carl Winslow, Jo Marie Paton as Harriette Winslow, Kellie Shanygne Williams as Laura Winslow, Darius McCrary as Eddie Winslow, Rosetta LeNoire as Estelle Winslow, Telma Hopkins as Rachel Crawford, Jamiee Foxworth as Judy Winslow, and Joseph and Julis Wright as Ritchie Crawford. At the beginning of the show Jaleel White was definitely capturing our funny bones as Steve Urkel but it was not until the second season he became a regular cast member. The viewers reactions to his antics and tenderness were enough to secure him a regular spot.

The show ran for 9 seasons which is an incredible run for a black sitcom. The last episode aired July 17, 1998. Family Matters is available for purchase on Amazon and also available to stream on Hulu.

I was a little hesitant to watch this show because I remember watching the reruns of this as a kid and only remember a few episodes being funny. OH DAMN WAS I WRONG! Family Matters is hilarious! The characters are quick and funny all in their own way. The show also really played with the element of physical and environmental comedy. Whether it was Steve transforming into Stephon or the The Winslow Family reacting to one of Steve’s newest machines the characters really played with what was going on around them.

Let’s start with the basics of the show; Family Matters centers around  The Winslow Family living in Chicago. The family deals with their everyday lives and with the daily and unnecessary occurrences of their neighbor Steve Urkel. One reason I was excited to watch this show is because it takes place in my hometown of Chicago. It was so interesting hearing them use actual Chicago streets, neighborhoods, and schools. It made me feel like I was really IN the story. 

One aspect of the show that I have to discuss is Carl Winslow’s job as an officer. We ALL know the traumatic history black people have in regards to the police. Things have gotten alarmingly worse and it has gotten to the point where there truly is no resolution for all the wrongs the police have done to black and brown communities. Despite all of this we also know there are people of color who are on the force. Carl Winslow was an officer of the Chicago Police Department and from what I gather it definitely feels as though this was done intentionally. This show premiered in the late 80′s and early 90′s which was a time where racial tension between black/brown communities and the police were really starting to reveal themselves. As a Chicago native I know that the 90′s was definitely when more gangs were making themselves known in the communities making police become more aggressive than they already were. During this time a figure like Carl, I feel, was a tactic to make black men who watch the show and don’t view police in a positive manner to empathize with the police by seeing someone who looks like them in the uniform. Remember this is just my theory but it does not seem too far fetched. Even though I am not  the biggest fan of Car’s occupation I appreciated how his difficulties being on the force in relation to him being a black man was displayed. There was an episode where Carl had to check one of his colleagues because he harassed his son Eddie for no reason other than the color of his skin. I appreciated the honesty toward that difficult part of his career.

During my rewatch something else that was great to watch was the show’s use of special effects. Growing up I watched many sitcoms but nothing could ever compare to the time and effort that I know were put into the special effects on the show. As Steve became more present his experiments always lead to explosions and/or some substance being shot across the room. I noticed that became an opener for some of the episodes in the later seasons and guess what...I loved every minute of it! The special effects mixed with other stunts in the show was the cherry on top of this comedic sundae. I hope the cast had insurance during the time cause certain things looked a little too daredevil-ish for me. One of my favorite moment is during the episode “High Anxiety” in season 4 when Waldo, Steve, and Eddie were trapped on a fire escape and were trying to get back inside the building. It was almost as if watching something similar to the Universal Soul circus. While the fire escape turned the actors tumbled and flipped right on top of it. I am still till this day wondering if they used stunt doubles. 

Another great part of this family sitcom are the characters themselves. I can truly say that after watching this series I enjoyed mostly everyone’s performance(minus Eddie but we’ll get to that) and watching them display the growth of these characters. One character who I deem to be one of the most underrated 90′s girls is Laura Winslow. I am sure those who listen to music have heard rappers refer to their dream girls and used sitcoms references. I have heard people wanting a Whitley Gilbert, Hilary Banks, Denise Huxtable, etc(and clearly we see what’s wrong with this pattern) but never a Laura Winslow which is amazing to me because she was such bold and charismatic character. One of my favorite episodes to see her in is “Fight The Good Fight” in season 2 where she fought to have a black history course taught in school. I know we loved Moesha but Laura paved the way. Did she make mistakes like every teenage girl yes but she knew exactly where she wanted to go and how to get there which makes Laura the blueprint!

I could not leave this post without writing just a tad about Jaleel White. I was looking forward to watching this show because I wanted to see if Steve is actually funny or was it just the expected goofiness that people knew they would get a chuckle out of. I am here to tell you that Steve Urkel is indeed HILARIOUS and that is done because of the brilliance that is Jaleel White. Jaleel was ACTING! Steve was no doubt a comedic character but there were moment in the show where his let his guard down(especially with Laura) and we saw some of the most tender and sincere moments that I have ever seen on a sitcom. The comedic moments were out of this world paired with Jaleel’s vocal and physical talents when it comes to creating Steve. The transformation moment when he turns into Stephon is almost mesmerizing to me. The way he deliberately would time it, deliver lines throughout the process, and even the sound effects he’s making. I know it sounds a little goofy but, this an actor who you can tell does not ming playing on a set. Jaleel now does work more in the children’s entertainment world which is a great thing. I am all for a children programming including images and voices(I know he’s done some voice over work) that include black people but I would love to see him cross over onto something very dark comedy-ish. American Horror Story? 

The cast overall is superb and went very well together and had many characters that are enjoyable on screen, like Ms. Estelle(played by Rosetta LeNoire). I always and I mean ALWAYS love a strong matriarchal figure who emphasizes in a very loving but direct way that: I AM GROWN. Estelle spoke her mind but was always there to bring her family together. It is probably the southern in me but it just hits every time.

NOW! As I stated in my opening post not only will I be going over the good but it just wouldn’t be right to acknowledge the bad in some of these shows, or the thing that were less favorable. 

Something I noted it what’s similar to what happened with “JJ” from Good Times. Steve was always his brilliant self but there were times where the antics may have been just a filler instead using the comedic moment to fuel the story. It was not to the extreme of how the character of J.J was in a sense “dumbed down” but there were moments I felt okay that little goofy thing didn't necessarily need to happen but it’s fine.

Someone that bugged me throughout this entire series is Eddie Winslow. I mean..he literally only thinks with one head and it gets very irritating after a while. I get it we were all there once teenagers but damn! THINK! I have a complex with straight men who think and act “traditionally” so fair warning that characters like Eddie Winslow in other shows will get the same treatment. Not to mention I am just not convinced with any of Darius McCrary’s performances. Even when he is a special guest star or the lead actor he just always has been a miss for me. Everyone on the cast held their own but I’ve always felt like he was the weakest link.

Overall Family Matters was an amazing display of quality Black television if you ask me. Great comedic scenes/elements, very heartfelt moments, and aired episodes that talked about some important issues such as bullying, gang violence, and even body image. The show gave us great characters; Steve Urkel will ALWAYS be a pop culture icon. I urge you to watch Family Matters again and enjoy everything this quirky and compassionate sitcom has to offer.

Favorite Episodes:

S2, EP 18-Life of the Party

S2, EP 20-The Good Fight

S2, EP 25-I Should’ve Done Something

S3, EP 9-Born To Be Mild

S3, EP 16-Brown Bombshell

S4, EP 13-Muskrat Love

S4, EP 18- Higher Anxiety

S5, EP 8-Dr. Urkel and Mr. Cool

S5, EP 10-All The Wrong Movies

S7, EP 14, Life in the Fast Lane 

S7, EP 20-Twinkle Toes Faldo

S8, EP 7-Stevil

[janiedean]

Ironwing go on a date but shit happens and they end up having to fight baddies which really makes the date more perfect. Also maybe some of the defenders chip in to help? I was thinking maybe jess matt who are low key flirting because pls Matt was totally crushing on Jess (I was expecting to brotp them not ship them so hard wth Netflix now I ship everyone with everyone!! XD)

aaand there you go, I hope you enjoy it

--

It’s not, Colleen thinks, that she wishes she had her old, more or less uneventful life back, and not even because in her old, uneventful life she was working for the fucking Hand.

She wouldn’t want it back anyway, not when in this one she’s not working for anyone else, she’s fairly positive she found the love of her life, she has some goddamned stability and she’s happy, and if it means that her boyfriend goes out at night playing vigilante or that he’s the Immortal Iron Fist and that Claire is about the one person out of their circle who is not either superpowered or completely devoid of any sense of self-preservation, well, fine, no meal ever comes free.

That said, she would like some goddamned peace and quiet sometimes, especially when she’s out with Danny for their weekly date.

See, thing is, they talk about things, and they both are aware that the vigilante life fucks you up – they spoke enough with Matt’s friends after they all thought he was dead to know how that worked out for him – and since they didn’t want to go down that path, they have rules. Not many, but they try to enforce them. The two main ones are: Sunday is free unless there’s some kind of imminent danger going down, and once per week they go out for a movie or dinner out and patience if crime runs free for that night, or if Colleen has to say no to late classes at the dojo.

And she really would rather go through her date in peace instead of dealing with a goddamned syndicate of bank robbers, on their fucking anniversary.

Rewind: a week ago, Danny had shown up at breakfast looking kind of bashful and hiding something behind his back.

Colleen hadn’t had time to ask what it was before someone rang at her door.

She had gone to answer just to find herself in front of a delivery man from some very expensive shop near Rand Enterprises who had asked her if she was Ms. Wing, and would she be so kind to sign in order to receive a plant of orchids that almost reaches her waist.

She had, and brought the plant in, and turned towards Danny –

Who was handing her a small card.

“I figured it’d be useless if it was on the plant, right?” He had asked, and she had opened the envelope.

The card had read happy anniversary.

Oh.

Oh.

Had it been one year already? Colleen had looked at him again, and –

He had handed her a small box. It was larger than a ring’s, which had made Colleen assume he wasn’t proposing, though a part of her had thought, if he did I wouldn’t have said no.

“I, uh,” he had blurted, “I might’ve thought about actually gifting you the building, but then I figured it’d have meant extra taxes and why would you want that, I guess, and when I told the accountant she said that buying people things like this might look tacky, I wouldn’t know, so I just –”

“Danny?” She had interrupted him. “First of all, it’d be tacky if it was anyone but you, I know you aren’t doing that to show off.”

(Colleen figured out ages ago that when it comes to Danny Rand money is an asset and he’ll buy you things just to make it extra clear he cares about you, and she might have talked the other Defenders out of dissuading him because she had seen his sad face after Jessica told him that she didn’t need a new glass panel for her office’s door after some thief broke it and Danny sent her someone who put a bulletproof one instead. Now they have learned to pretend if anything because Colleen was very convincing, she thinks, and thing is, Danny looked so happy when he told her that Jessica asked him if he could please hire someone to re-paint her walls, she’s really not regretting having just told them to let Danny spend the damned money on them if he so wants to.)

She had opened the box.

And then she had almost broken down in tears at seeing it was a grant for a community project sponsored by the city which gives her funding to offer free training to at least thirty kids for six months.

“And,” he had said, before she could reply anything, “I took the liberty of booking dinner in three days at that nice French restaurant we always pass in front of and we always say we should try out?”

She had blurted something like don’t you ever dare changing, and then they hadn’t talked for the rest of the morning.

So, she had kind of looked forward to the fancy dinner. She had put on her nicest dress, and he had put on one of those suits he hates but for once it didn’t look like he was wanting to shoot himself in the head as long as he was wearing it, and they had been drinking excellent wine as they went through the appetizers, and for once Colleen had been thinking that once in a while, maybe, fancy wasn’t so bad.

That is, until someone blew the door to the bank on the other side of the road and a few armed men had run into the restaurant screaming get down on the floor or we’re shooting you on sight.

Fuck.

“So much for the crime-less date night, huh?” Danny whispers, but she can hear in his voice that he’s itching to kick the table and do away with them.

“I guess it wouldn’t be our lives without fucking random criminals. Wait,” she says, and kicks off her heels. “Right. Whenever you want.”

He grins and before the first thug can forcefully tear a woman’s necklace from her, Danny stands up.

“Hey,” he says, “how about you come at us instead?”

Good thing, Colleen decides, that good French restaurants have sharp knives, in lack of better blades.

--

It’s almost ridiculously easy – it was just four of them, the majority are in the bank on the other side of the road, and they’ve either punched them into oblivion or disarmed them in a matter of minutes. Too bad that their van is still in the middle of the road and their friends still haven’t noticed that half of their plan hasn’t worked out.

“Well,” Colleen says, “we might as well do away with them, too.”

“Miss –” One of the waiters starts.

“Fine by me,” Danny grins.

“Keep my shoes for me, will you?” She asks the waiter. They really were too uncomfortable for anything other than walking.

--

They run across the road and put out of commission the guy in the van, but not before he tells him there’s fifteen of them inside.

Well, it’s still plenty doable, she decides as they run inside.

They disarm the ones just outside the vault room, and then –

“Shit,” Danny says, “of course they locked the door.”

It’s obvious he doesn’t want to summon his chi for something that venial. “I guess we’ll have to wait until they’re out,” Colleen says, and then –

“Wasn’t today your fucking anniversary?”

Only Danny could grin that wide hearing Jessica Jones congratulating them like that, Colleen thinks as she turns on her back and sees that both her and Murdock are behind them – right, they’ve been kind of partnering up since it turned out that he wasn’t so dead. Colleen doesn’t know if they’re just friends or if it’s something else, but far from her to pry.

“Yeah,” Danny replies cheerfully, “but we were celebrating across the road.”

“So much for pleading with me to take your turn because you had to take her out, huh?” Jessica is smirking, though.

“Never mind,” Matt says, “you can go back to the restaurant. We’ve got this.”

“Really?” Colleen asks.

Jessica shrugs. “Unless you really wanna stick around, I guess.”

“We’re here, we might as well,” Danny grins. Right, well, he wouldn’t give up a chance to do some teamwork now, would he?

“Fine. Get the hell out of my way,” Jessica says, and then she grabs the handle and brings the entire door with her.

Fine, that is useful, Colleen concedes, and then they barge inside.

--

It’s pitiful, really – they’ve dispatched all of the robbers in five minutes, in between the four of them. Matt ties them up and they all drag them outside and dump them in the van along with the four from the restaurant.

“Fine,” Jessica says, “I’m just gonna drive this to some police station and leave them there. Happy fucking anniversary.”

Colleen doesn’t know what’s more unsettling – that she seems to mean it, that Murdock’s making heart-shaped eyes at her or that Danny is taking it the way anyone with a regular, sane upbringing would take normal congratulations.

Then they’ve driven off along with van and criminals and she and Danny are standing in the middle of the road, she’s wearing no shoes, his suit is dirty and they burst out laughing the moment they look at each other.

“It was – it was appropriate, though,” Danny wheezes.

“Fine,” she agrees, “it was, but – I was kind of looking forward to the nice dinner for once.”

“And who says it’s busted?”

“Wait, what?”

Danny smirks and heads for the restaurant, asks the waiter if they called the police, the dumbfounded kid says that no, they didn’t because they were about to and then the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen showed up and they realized that maybe it was unnecessary.

“Hm,” Danny says, “how about you call them after me and my girlfriend are done? I’m footing the bill for the damages. Actually, I’m just paying everyone’s bill.”

At that, all of the other clients cheers loudly and agree with delaying calling the police, and that’s how they end up eating duck confit with a crack in the window next to them, dirty clothes, no shoes in her case and random people dropping by and congratulating them, too.

“You know,” Danny tells her, “maybe the whole crime fighting thing didn’t completely ruin it.”

“No,” Colleen agrees, her hand covering his, “I think it really didn’t.”

Okay, maybe it made it great, now that she can think about it rationally.

But next time they’re sticking to places no one in their right mind would think of robbing.

[starwarshyperdrive]

My Star Wars

This is editorial and highly subjective. I apologise in advance. The thing that annoys me the most is also the thing I love the most. The fact that there is not one Star Wars fandom, there are several. Star Wars is for everyone. All ages, all ethnicities and all walks of life. And I love that. At the same time there is a lot of room for things that I don’t love. Don’t get me wrong. Just because despite trying my best I just couldn't get into The Clone Wars (I still prefer the 2003 Star Wars: Clone Wars series) I don’t think that it’s inferior. I acknowledge it. I acknowledge Ashoka, but I just don’t get excited about it the same way I get excited about other stuff. That doesn’t mean that ‘my Star Wars is better than your Star Wars’, it just makes it more interesting and at the same time challenging. I see a lot of things contradicting my personal perception of what ‘the force’ is. Even seasoned fans with popular channels sometimes seem to have a completely different perception of what Star Wars is. And instead of thinking THEY ARE WRONG I started wondering where this is coming from. The fact that we all still love Star Wars just proves the universality of the mono myth as described by Joseph Campbell. You don’t have to understand why it speaks to you. It simply does. Does that mean you’ll have a hard time predicting the plot or understanding connections. Yes, no, maybe. After all - by now - it’s ‘just a story’ that’s being made up by other individuals. Not an universal truth. I came to the conclusion that every fan has it’s own unique Star Wars fandom, built out of a large pool of pick-and-chose parts. To understand mine, here is the kind of Star Wars fan I am and what I think about that subject.

I didn’t grow up on comic books. As a European suburban kid that always seemed uniquely American to me. I grew up influenced by the history of the land around me. Medieval castles, Roman ruins and pagan folktales. I was always very interested in history and movies. So thanks to - but not exclusively owing to - Indiana Jones my dream job as a child was archaeologist. So I chose Latin and Ancient Greek in school, further focusing on ancient myths of heroes going on journeys, seeking adventure and fighting evil. Jumping a few years ahead, I started to get interested in eastern philosophy. Everything always just brought me back to Star Wars or was in some way related or seemed very familiar in that way.

If I’m interested in something I always want to go to the core, to the source, so the natural development for me was to study Kendo. The way of the sword. Ironically one of the first things the Sensei told us ‘this is not Star Wars’, this is not ‘sword ballet’ Just one of the reasons why it pains me to see beautifully choreographed sword fights in movies (did someone say prequels?). Reality is fast, reality is quick and painful. The better you are the less movement there is. I fought with 80+ year old 8th Dan Japanese Sensei who didn’t seem to move at all. They won easily and it looked like they’d just stand there. Reminded me a lot of Darth Vader in A New Hope actually or SPOILER ALERT the way Obi Wan dealt with Maul in Rebels. Luke is still a learner in Empire Strikes Back and Vader is toying with him. Those fights seem authentic to me. Same goes for the way Kylo Ren fights in The Force Awakens. Someone who is too sure of himself and puts too much power into his fighting because he isn’t used to fighting someone even close to equal. Rey has the fluidity of someone with talent (and previous training). In a fight there are no unnecessary show-offy swirly moves. This would just give the opponent an opening. Granted, a lightsaber is a bit different. Whereas a sword, or saber has 1 or 2 sharp edges, a lightsaber is deadly no matter where it hits. But enough geeking out over Japanese swordsmanship.

As for the philosophy, I started meditating and again found a lot of similarities with the force as portrayed in Star Wars. Especially after or before a fight, we used to meditate. Before to focus. After to regulate the heart rate. Both in combination would what Qui Gon did, I have to assume. There are many stories about buddhist monks who managed to achieve things through meditation some consider to be unnatural. The Chinese and Japanese even have a word for it. Chi, or Ki - the life force. Clearly a major inspiration for George Lucas when he came up with the concept of the force. 

In the west and especially in our modern ‘we have solved and explained everything through science, there is nothing we do not know’ mindset we sometimes fail to see or understand other perspectives. So when someone talks about how a force ghost can’t do this or that or be at a certain time or space based on our ‘wordly’ limitations I have to wonder why they assume that force ghosts are limited the same we are. You don’t have to study quantum mechanics to be able to grasp the concept of more ‘timeless’ existence. The way I see it - once you’re one with the force you can pop up wherever and whenever you want. Ironically the fact that the midichlorians prove that the force can itself create life it also opens the door for reincarnation. I feel like a lot of people have problems understanding this concept of the force, which limits their comprehension a lot. Then again. Who am I to judge. But I think the force has to make sense in a philosophical kind of way. Something that parallels the myths on our own planet, be it Native American or Tibetan. This is also why I think seeing Star Wars through a Comic Book filter is bound to fail. And it’s why speculations of people too much into comic books tend to be wrong. I don’t know it very well but people suddenly turning good guys after being bad and killing people and no-one bats an eye, seems a bit too WWE wrestling for me. Motifs such as redemption and fallen heroes are a primal aspect of story telling. Enkidu in the epic of Gilgamesh couldn't return to his previous state once he spent too much time in civilisation. He went too far. The reason why Star Wars is so appealing is in my opinion because it speaks to this very essence of human story telling and repeats themes we heard and told over and over again for thousands of years. That and the fact that it mixes ‘fictional’ elements with real life. 

It always worked best when movie sets can be visited. We can identify with it. Avatars Pandora might be impressive and tantalising but at the same time, deep inside we know it is not real. Star Wars feels ‘more real’ even in it’s almost Freudian usage of the ‘slimy slug’ as gangster boss or someone named Greedo who’s claim to fame is trying to make a quick buck and even double crossing his boss to achieve that goal. There is no dead superhero who is suddenly someone else and then a giant human planet attacks. There are no superpowers. The force is something everyone can feel. To use another buddhist metapher. The mind is like a glass of dirty water, when you stir it it becomes cloudy. If you calm your mind, the dirt will settle and the water will be clear. In my understanding seeing clear water equals feeling the force.

Myths also serve as moral principles and teach us valuable lessons. Darth Vader was tricked into becoming a dark side apprentice. He had doubts. He was redeemable. Kylo Ren chose the dark side. He committed patricide. An element that can also be found in ancient myths from all around the world. An act that will always lead to the ultimate demise. Don’t go too far. Don’t cross the point of no return. Don’t turn around, Lot. or your wife will turn into a pillar of salt. 

Don’t turn around, Orpheus…

People talk about Anakin killing younglings (off camera) and use it as an argument that Kylo could turn to the light. If you look at historical themes this seems to me very unlikely and too comic booky for Star Wars. Which brings me back to why I didn't like The Clone Wars. Even though George Lucas stated that Star Wars is for 12 year olds, there has always been an additional element to it. Lets call it added depth. This depth I’m missing in The Clone Wars. Ashoka speaks up to her master and no-one is really acting the way they are supposed to act if they were Jedi or in some sort of military structure. Sure it’s good fun, but he constant disobeying of orders seems a bit..shall I say unrealistic (I’m aware of the irony). At the same time, that absolutely works for Star Wars Rebels. Kanan is an insecure half-Jedi teaching a street brat hungry for knowledge. While I’m not entirely on board for everything (you almost lost me at space whales) I am definitely a Rebels fan. The introduction of Thrawn gave me goosebumps and was the best thing that ever happened outside of the movies. I’m a strong advocate for the reboot and I never liked the old EU. Too many weird stories. The reboot came at the right time and was necessary. I never really followed it, but I’m all in when it comes to the new canon. I try to read all the books and get all the tiny bits and pieces of lore they hide in them.

As for the games, I know a lot of people like them and even though I’m not a gamer, I played most of them. Actually I exclusively play Star Wars games. I had a lot of fun with Jedi Outcast and Jedi Academy and hope they do something similar again at some point. I also liked the Force Unleashed series and for a bit of fun the old Battlefront games. I don’t have a TV or console, so I couldn’t try out the new ones and I have yet to be convinced that a new game is so good that it warrants a purchase of the aforementioned. Of course I also played some Knights of the Old Republic and the visuals of the Sith are simply awesome. Darth Malak and Darth Nihilus are great. But somehow it seemed too detached from the Star Wars I knew. A bit of The Phantom Menace times a hundred. How often would designs and looks repeat themselves over thousands of years. And if it’s just a kind of similar look, then it might as well be Hunger Games with a lightsaber. I know a lot of people hope for an Old Republic movie or TV series. I’m not one of them. And I also think it’s not as marketable. The gaming target audience is huge but it’s not something that can easily be sold to the general audience. To quote Snoke ‘we shall see’. Of course I would watch and love it, but if I could chose I’d have other priorities, such as boba Fett never taking off his helmet in a movie unless it’s for 10 seconds and they get Temuera Morrison. Because: consistency.

Now for the movies.. There are several generations of Star Wars fans out there. Some say their favourite movie is Attack of the Clones. Some say their favourite character is Ashoka. If that’s what they grew up with that’s understandable. Star Wars is about emotions and association. If you grew up getting a battle droid for X-mas that’s the natural consequence. To me it still feels like a Christian saying that the local priest is better than Jesus. I can’t help it. The original trilogy is holy. Nothing can ever touch it. No matter how good the movie is it will never surpass 40 years worth of memories and experiences associated with the movies. I have seen the OT hundreds of times and they still hold up. When I watch the movies every couple of months I’m usually like ‘I forgot how awesome they are’.

Which brings me to the prequels. Yes I know. blabla, but.. I never had an issue with the prequels. I have always been an apologist, even though there are parts that tested my love. I don’t mind Jar Jar as much as I mind farting space gnus, but the pod racing scene always seemed much too long. And it seems longer every time I watch it. Apart from that I still hold on to the argument that the opulence and use of colours was a genius way to portray the fall of the republic and visualise the change to a bleak and cold empire. Of course the battle droids are no substitute for stormtroopers, but over all I’m surprisingly OK with The Phantom Menace. I would’ve preferred an older version of Anakin, but like I said.. it’s OK. It had Qui Gon Jinn in it. That immediately makes every movie five times better. Now Attack of the Clones is a different story entirely. I remember having high hopes for that one. The promotion back then seemed nice enough and the scene with the imperial march is still one of the most gripping scenes from the prequel trilogy and some of the battle scenes are really good. I’m talking about the clones, not the Jedi just pretend someone shoots at you CGI disaster. But that’s that.. The movie lacks a real opponent and the position is weirdly split between Count Dooku and Jango Fett. It somehow didn’t work for me. They should've kept Darth Maul. There is also something in Star Wars I don’t really like. Every bad guy needs a new and different lightsaber. In the end it make somehow sense for Kylo Ren, but did we need a bent one for Dooku, 4 for General Grievous, a Tonfa style in Force Unleashed, an upside down one for Ashoka, a helicopter lightsaber for the inquisitors. I mean it starts getting ridiculous. What’s wrong with a good old standard lightsaber. Thank you, Rey! (if she gets a saberstaff I’m ok with that). I recently rewatched Revenge of the Sith. I always liked it but for me - after watching The Force Awakens and Rogue One - it just didn’t hold up. It’s not Haydens fault though and the visual storytelling again is on point. The clouds increasing on the horizon to symbolise the fall to the dark side. Impeccable. And while I didn’t like the design the phase 1 clone trooper design, the phase 2 armours looks bad ass. It’s the unnecessary and completely out of place slapstick comedy that’s bothering me. The R2D2 vs. Battledroids scene in the beginning is the stupidest part of all movies. I always have to cringe. The CGI is also off.  

The Force Awakens on the other hand.. I’m not an impressionable person. Leaving the cinema I’m not like ‘WOOO THAT WAS AWESOME. BEST MOVIE EVER!!!’. I usually like to let it sink for a while and philosophise about what certain parts meant and such. I have seen it 14 times in the cinema. That should give you an indication whether or not I liked it. A guy told me ‘yeah.. I saw it 2 times, the first time I was like awesome, but the 2nd I didn’t like it at all. I give it 6 months and then it’s the next Phantom Menace’. Well it’s been 1 1/2 years and it’s still far from being the new Phantom Menace. Overall the movie feels just right for me. I think the argument that it’s a remake is plain stupid. Unless you make an entirely different movie and remove all that makes it Star Wars you will always have parallels. And if we stick to the mono myth theme it’s obvious that the new hero will have a similar journey. Yes, but… yes, but..  A weapon inside a planet might be round but it’s not a Death Star. If they’d contracted a new super star destroyer the experts on the internet would’ve said ‘it’s another shape but it’s just another death star. So there is no winning here. What I personally didn’t like was the fact that Han Solo wanted to put Cpt.Phasma in a trash compactor as if he’d be doing his ‘best of’ tour. Remember that, kid? You all like that, right? We were crazy back then. That seemed a bit lets say..pathetic. 

At first the rathtars bothered me but I somehow got used to them. Weird ball shaped monsters with tentacles seem to be both retro and Star Wars appropriate. The low budget cosplay look of Kanjiklub bothered me more. They looked more like the uninspired product of a costume designer on a budget for a cheap Nickelodeon series. I always thought it would be awful if Kylo took off his mask, but they way they did it worked perfectly. Most of the ‘plot holes’ people talk about can easily fixed by either watching the movie closely, thinking or being patient. Why do we need everything laid out and explained? I like that The Force Awakens left some questions open. I also think the often discussed scene - that even Mark Hamill himself would’ve loved to do - of him catching the lightsaber at the end would've completely defeated the purpose. Fan sometimes seem  like kids that want to eat sweets all day. Don't give them everything they want. They don't know what’s good for them. This plot would've been disastrous and much too tacky. ‘was someone Luke-ing for me?’ Star Wars is not an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

Speaking of what’s good for fans. Rogue One. Holy moly. Can Gareth Edwards please do every Star Wars movie now? (Unrelated: I’m a bit worried about Han Solo) When Star Wars episodic movies are for 12 year olds, then Rogue One is what happens if you look at the Star Wars universe through the eyes of an adult. Rogue One was intense. I’m lost for words. If it wasn’t for the sanctity of the OT Rogue One might as well be my favourite movie. We got introduced to new aspects of the force. Showing once more that the Jedi dogmatic approach that lead to their demise is just one way of interpretation the force, which reminded me of the buddhist saying ‘there are may ferries leading to the other shore’. There are mystics and pragmatists but in the end we’re all one in the force. Chirrut and Baze are two sides of the same coin. The one who loses faith and the other one who trusts the force. It doesn’t matter if they are gay. That’s quite frankly insulting and ignorant. The way I understood their bond was beyond puny worldly understanding. A spiritual bond. Brothers in the force. And I’m so glad they didn’t make a love story out of Jyn and Cassian. Out of the same reason. Not every bond has to be sexual. That’s a shallow assumption. I wouldn't have minded if someone would’ve survived, but that’s the way things go. A bold move and it breaks my heart every time I watch the movie. It puts so much weight on the sacrifice they made for the rebellion. Everything else would've been wrong. No matter how much I would’ve liked them to survive. At the end of the day we all want a happy ending.

Going forward..where do I think will the franchise go?

I’m just worried that at some point they will cast aside the traditional storytelling aspect in favour of a more comic book style popcorn cinema approach. I don’t think we’re there yet and I hope they are aware of what Star Wars is about and don’t try to jump on some train that is selling well at the moment. Kathleen Kennedy and the story group seem to be on top of it and seem to be very aware of that. Also luckily Star Wars is still No.1 but for the unlucky case that Guardians of the Galaxy or Avatar are more successful, if that ever happens, I fear movie executives do what movie executives always do and ruin everything by desperately trying to sell. Be it by doing a reboot with whoever is popular at the time. The next Jennifer Lawrence as young Leia or the next Zach Efron as Han Solo or by just copying the highest grossing movie. Marketing will make sure the general public will like it but what about us smart ass fans?

Predictions for The Last Jedi: Did/will Luke turn to the dark side? Of course not. Luke made his decision in Return of the Jedi. I can only assume that the reason why he became a hermit has something to do with the fact that sometimes doing nothing is the best option. Just like in the educational game September 12th. Everytime you shoot a terrorist, you create more of them in response until the entire game is populated by terrorists. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and not get involved to avoid even worse consequences. History is often repeating itself, so why wouldn’t Luke do the same thing they did to him? Hide a force sensitive relative in a remote place? There are several ways this could pan out, but it has been said repeatedly that Star Wars is about the Skywalker lineage. Kylo will never be redeemed, so it doesn’t really make sense to focus on him. There is only one person left. There seem to be a lot of people thinking she is a Kenobi. Which brings me back to the The Clone Wars. Obi Wan might have had feelings for someone, but Obi Wan abided the Jedi code. There is no way she is a Kenobi. Also from a storytelling point of view. The jump would be too big. The regular audience would be like ‘WHAT!?!’ and it would just be lazy storytelling. Yeah btw Obi Wan totally did it. And you are his granddaughter, because he hid his daughter well. We will also not have the time to explain who your father is, so just bear with us. NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. People seem to have a big problem grasping the Jedi concept of non-attachment which is a 100% Buddhist concept. It’s not about being living in celibacy. Anakin even says it. It’s about attachment, which leads to the fear of loss. Just take spies. They aren’t forbidden to marry. They have to accept that their family can be used against them which makes them vulnerable. Which is exactly the point, both physically and philosophically. So this attachment is what ultimately led to Anakin's downfall. Makes me wonder ‘have you understood NOTHING?’. Obi Wan might be able to see through the problems caused by the Jedi orders institutionalised dogma rules but he surely won’t make the same mistake as Anakin. Rey has to be a Skywalker. Even C3PO theoretically is. Family finds family in Star Wars. She might not even be Lukes daughter. There is a way to squeeze in a ‘Ben started acting strange so we hid his little sister from him’ explanation. He says ‘so it is you’. That can be everything or nothing. And Snoke. He will most likely be a nobody. A wizard of Oz. I expect him to be some slimy poser ex-politician, who is as much of an imposter as Kylo is. Someone once theorised that Kylo might kill him at some point, which would be a nice twist on the Darth Vader / Emperor relationship. A lot can happen in some 30 years and we don’t know half of it, so it will be interesting to see how they fill the gaps. 

To return to The Last Jedi - there are rumours that indicate that (SPOILER ALERT) Benicio DelToro won’t be some super duper Baddie, but much rather a sleazy casino owner kind of guy. I’m really looking forward to seeing his performance. He will bring gravitas to whoever his character is. Even if he is just another Dexter Jettster. 

At this point I have no clue what the plot will be. I have no clue how Carrie Fishers death will affect the plot. I kinda expected the legacy characters to die one by one, the same way Obi Wan, Yoda and Darth Vader did. Now Carrie Fishers family said that there won’t be a CGI Leia in Episode 9. Lets just say, if she died in The Last Jedi and that was the plan all along there’s no way they’d say ‘all good, we don't need reshoots’. Could all be a diversion. Leias death on screen would definitely give the movie an additional emotional momentum. Just look at what happened with Fast & Furious after Paul Walker died.

[p-weezy1]

The internet is the place for you if you don’t have anything nice to say

It’s pretty upsetting to see how many people spread hate and negative words/emotions on the internet every day. Sure, there are many different topics that are occupying our minds during these times with bad dudes having too much power and others being too blind to see that we’re headed down a road that eventually leads towards a dead end, do not enter. But I think there’s a limit to everything, even if your opinion is the most relatable and targeting the problems this generation is facing it shouldn’t be facing in the 21st century. You can’t just step out there and trash everyone and everything in your way in the comfortable shelter of the internet’s anonymity because you’re convinced your words carry any significant meaning when they really do not. I wish some people would simply wake up in the morning and realize all the negativity they’re spreading is fueled by nothing other than the plain desire to have an opinion and use it against others in the same extreme way the guys they’re pointing their middle fingers towards do - it doesn’t make you any better, no matter what kind of opinion you’re sharing.  Extremism will always be extremism and you’re not going to be an exception, no matter the side you stand on. Just because you’re right about the fact that discrimination of all sorts is an issue we have. Your words can be equally as hurtful, just like your actions. So maybe think twice before you attack someone out of the blue and stomp on them like a spoiled little kid that didn’t get the toy they wanted out of their Happy Meal. It’s easy to point fingers online but it’s also easy to point them into the wrong direction.

Racism, sexism, all that is downright a terrible thing and I hate seeing nazi punks kicking it off just as much as any of us do. But really, are you going to play the “oh my god this is sexism” or “oh my god this is racism/white washing” card everytime something pops up on your social media feed that is even just potentially linked to any of these hot topics? Don’t waste your breath on Hollywood supposedly white washing shit or some comment some celebrity dropped that is per usual taken out of context. It’s just fueling the fire, not trying to extinguish it. We live in a time where everything offends someone. Even me breathing right now probably offends half the planet. I’m sure there are some people out there who are offended because the McDonald’s sign is yellow or because they put pickles on burgers. If you don’t like them, guess what. Yes you can remove them and still enjoy your burger.

If it bothers you that much get up and stop punching your computer keyboard with your greasy ass chips fingers. Leave the comfort and shelter of your own home, go outside on the streets and try to make an actual change. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not telling anyone to swallow their opinion. Just not to waste it on minor things while worse is happening. It’s important to make your own in this world we live in. If you think I do, you’re misinterpreting this entire text. Never let an idiot get away with discriminating a person for their gender, their sexual orientation or their ethnicity. It makes my blood boil just like it does yours. Of course there’s going to be controversy about whatever I’m saying right now, like I’m not used to people ripping apart everything I write or speak about. That’s cool, I’m not here to please. I have an opinion and I know that in the spheres I’m currently floating in having an opinion is not something that is actually in style. Because it’s inconvenient. For example when I expressed how I don’t like this one song by that one artist who happens to have a homosexual background. Oh my god shocker, P. W. is homophobic because he hates him. No I do not. I simply just didn’t like the song. And that’s what it’s like with the situation we’re having here. Just because I’m voicing myself about this awesome spectacle that takes place pretty much everywhere on social media right now with people using every statement that’s ‘kinda’ racist or ‘kinda’ sexist or ‘kinda’ discriminating in any sort of aspect as an excuse to spread their useless hate and make them feel better about themselves doesn’t automatically lead to the conclusion that I’m not all for equality - because I am and I’ve shared my opinion on it more than once. All I’m saying is you’re targeting the wrong people. This is not about dissecting movie concepts or song lyrics, some line someone dropped in some interview, some headlines you read but not the entire article or someone making a stupid tweet about something. As long as we’re going to be on this planet, there will always be assholes talking shit on the internet. The root of the problem sits elsewhere and it’s firmly anchored within the ground. It’s about getting out there and fighting for what you supposedly think it is that you support. In the end it’s about equality. For everyone out there, no matter the gender or the sexual orientation. A human being is a human being. Just like the people you’re attacking despite them simply having failed to overthink their statements when they weren’t supposed to come off a certain way. Use your brain before you hate is all I’m going to say. All of us know what headlines can do, or rather what they don’t do. They don’t give you an insight into a person’s character or personality. They’re words someone typed up to catch your attention and you can’t say it doesn't work. Out here you have to watch every move you make, every word that leaves your mouth and actually becomes reality as soon as others hear or read it. I’ve been there, believe me. Never would have thought anyone would care about what I’ve got to say but whenever I manage to express myself in a way that leaves room for people to make false assumptions and take my statements out of context, I get all the hate for it. Although I’m partially Jamaican, although I’ve openly confessed not to hate the idea of being with a guy a couple of years ago (that’s another topic), although our band supports the LGBT community. It just wouldn’t make the smallest of sense for me to be racist or homophobic. But I guess you can toss and turn everything the way that is most convenient to you if you have too much free time to spend on the internet instead of being out there on the streets with the other kids waving banners and giving the victims of everything I’ve just spoken about a voice. A louder voice. The voice of millions that will eventually be heard. I really think we need to make a move instead of posting smart ass comments online. Only gets everyone riled up and ready to judge everything that’s potentially this or that. I promise I’m going to eat all the empty shells in the edamame discard bowl if someone tells me ‘you’re doing the very same thing right now’ but I think it’s fine because I’m not hurting anyone with my rant and my words, not targeting anyone in particular. I’m just talking about the way I experience social media these days. Especially online where there are only words and no expressions behind them, there’s too much room for interpretation. Status updates shouldn’t be more relevant than real conversations. Follower numbers shouldn’t equal a person’s worth or credibility. I think that the internet is a place where opinions clash and fights are being fought that are unnecessary, mostly because everyone wants to be edgy. Again, what you might be supporting is the right thing but that doesn’t mean there’s a hidden meaning behind everything. Not every word someone posts is a conspiracy theory. Stop feeling so attacked by everyone else. Of course there are countless of douchebags out there posting crap that makes me want to throw up my breakfast into their faces. But we know where the real bad dudes are and we know who they are so fucking fight them instead. Much love Peter

[analyticaldragons]

Some Aimless Rambling about HTTYD 2, Featuring a 2-Year-Old First Impressions Review of it, and the Unqualified Thoughts of an Undergrad in Science

Alright, keep in mind that I haven’t seen the TV series, and that this is 2 years old and my first impressions of HTTYD 2 after I walked out of the movie…and that I haven’t seen it at all since then. Still, I’d like to think that it still has some value to it =/

——————–

One thing I noticed was that Astrid, Ruff/Tuff, Snotlout, etc. didn’t have much of a role in the plot. Everything that they did just seems like a sideshow with no conclusion or even aim. Astrid even seemed like she got an intelligence downgrade, with her haring off to find and confront Drago. I get that she has a gung-ho attitude, but she always struck me as a more practical and down-to-earth person than Hiccup - and since it’s been 5 years since the original, I felt that she should have had more of a grasp on that aspect of herself. Venturing into the lair of and then essentially giving away information that Berk was filled with dragons to Drago, who had an armada and was a verified and experienced dragon tamer/hunter was …. not a good idea. I expected better from her. I expected her to be intelligent, capable, and knowing that running unprepared to a leader whose forces are experience dragon capturers was not a very good idea. Eret seemed to be thrown in to be the obligatory “not everyone is as horrible and dedicated as Drago” person in Drago’s armada, but I liked his character arc. The romance gags were, in my opinion, unnecessary. And then there’s the fact that Hiccup basically did everything while the rest of the cast stood by and yelled “Go Hiccup!” or was less than helpful in the case of Astrid and co. The pacing was also off. There was enough information in HTTYD 2 that it could have been a 2 hour, maybe 2hr. 15 minute movie. Instead they pared it down to 1:45, and the pacing suffered as a result. The movie’s plot sped up a lot from the relatively slow beginning and middle. We go from Stoick and Val’s reunion straight to the battle, 10 minutes at most for Stoick’s death and funeral, then rushing to Berk, Berk being destroyed, then Drago’s alpha gets Macross Missile Massacred in the face. There were so many WHAM moments at the ending it took away from the individual impacts of all of them. Stoick’s funeral and death in particular I felt should have been given more time. Hiccup had just lost his father, one of the constants in his life, a person that no matter what kind of disagreements they had, they still had their familial love. It’s a major moment for Hiccup, dealing with the fact that his father died, his best friend was the one to do it, and his dragon-taming abilities were seemingly not all they cracked up to be. Seeing Hiccup just shrug it off and not display any other thought about Stoick’s death for the rest of the movie left me wanting, especially since they took the time to do it in the original. If the scriptwriters had Hiccup’s reaction to Stoick’s death and dealing with his grief and working through the realization that even if his world was shattered, everyone else’s was and he needed to be there to prop them up (maybe catalyzed with Val reminding about “an alpha/chief protects his own”) in between Drago’s assaults on the nest and Berk, it would have given the audience a breather from the action, time to process what the fuck just happened (mind control) and some emotional weight to the story. It’s like Dreamworks didn’t want to be sucked into GRIMDARKDERP ANGST that “darker” sequels often fall prey to that they just passed over it. And the constant preaching about peace with dragons got on my nerves a bit. We all know that Hiccup wants peace and companionship, Dreamworks. Stop trying to shove it down our throats. It’s like DW7 Shu with its BENEVOLENCE.  That’s about all the complaints I have, actually. So onto the compliments. I really liked how the movie made the HTTYD world darker, still had that spot of hope at the same time. Dragon trapping, Drago’s entire “dragon slave army” thing, Stoick fucking dying. But it still had Hiccup and Toothless prevail with the power of their friendship, with the very nice caveat at the end of “The vikings of Berk are peaceful industrious folk, but if you fuck with us and our dragons, we will end you,” which just goes to show that Hiccup and Toothless learned from their lesson and knows that while peace is all well and good, sometimes you have to carry a big, big stick. The contrast between Drago and Hiccup was really nice as well. Drago represented the older generation, with hatred against dragons because of the loss of his arm and what was basically a scourge on the Vikings. He pounded and intimidated them into submission because, to him, they were animals that needed to be destroyed, and when faced with evidence to the contrary, he refused to readjust because he was that buried in his hatred. Hiccup, on the other hand, even though he lost his leg and his mom to dragons and his entire life was dedicated to earning recognition through killing dragons, has the capability and flexibility to forgive and build a new world. It’s kind of like Gundam Unicorn - the old guard is not willing to forget the sins of the past, and was just stuck in the mindset of “Zeon/Feds are EEEVIIILLL,” while the kids are willing to set aside those same sins and having the possibility of making the world a better and more peaceful place. Just replace “Zeon/Feds” with “Dragons/humans” and you’re set. Stoick’s death was the big whammy for me. I was surprised that Dreamworks had the balls to do it, especially in the manner that Stoick died. I knew that at the end, to fulfill Hiccup’s character arc in this movie he would have to realize that he has the potential/has to become the chief, but I expected that Stoick would act as a mentor. Worst case, he gets crippled and Hiccup has to take the reins. But becoming chief like that? Ouch. The only complaint that I have about that, again, is that the director should have paid more attention to it. It also reminds us just why dragons were feared, after pretty much a movie and a half of cuddly pet dragons. Mind-controlled Toothless bent on killing you was scary, in more than one way. The scenery and visuals were great - the island archipelago in the first 20 minutes of the movie was absolutely breathtaking and reminded me a lot of some of the stuff in Kung Fu Panda. The flight scenes were miles better than in the original. Even though I was watching it in 2D (Age of Extinction took up the 3D theater >=T

), every single aerial scene was, simply put, amazing. I just wish I saw it in 3D, personally.

The worldbuilding was spectacular as well. All the new dragon species, the giant map that Hiccup and Toothless was making (how does Hiccup know how far the particular islands are from Berk? Does he have a scale? A sextant?), dragon society (alphas), and the way that Berk had adapted to life among dragons - the races, stables, a complex hangar-like system for doors, etc. It made the entire movie seem like it really was branching out into different and new places that the original one didn’t explore.

Overall I thought this was a worthy sequel of the original. It kept the “fight smarter, not harder” and the “make peace, not war” theme of HTTYD, but hoo boy it got a lot darker than the original. Toothless was still the adorable ball of scaly awesome that he was in the original, and Hiccup and the others all grew up nicely. The movie was dark, but not in a GRIMDERP way. However, there were some things that were off about it, like the pacing and the occasional “it’s a kids movie” thing, but overall it was a good movie. Not on the level of its predecessor or Toy Story ½/3, but I would definitely rewatch it.

9/10

Headcanon is being more and more cemented that Tony Stark is Hiccup’s reincarnation.

Also, Toothless confirmed for the unholy cross between the Avatar and Godzilla. 

——————

Looking back on what I wrote, I’d have to elaborate and add onto some things:

On the subject of Hiccup’s insistence for a peaceful resolution, I’m much more approving of it now. It’s part of his character development over the course of the movie. In the beginning, he’s shirking his responsibilities as the chief’s heir: all he does is wander and explore the Archipelago with Toothless, doing what he wants to do instead of what he has to do. Thing is, his blind idealism is part of that shirking of responsibility. Viking society isn’t soft. There are people who take advantage of their power and cannot be taken away from it, and those who has just as much conviction to their beliefs that Hiccup does towards peace…just that they and Hiccup have mutually exclusive views.

Thing is, Hiccup has encountered enemies like this in the past, and he’s managed to convince them to his side. By the time of HTTYD 2, he’s had nothing but proof that enemies can be turned into friends. For Hiccup, it’s just a matter of talking. It may take a long while, but it’ll do the trick. And without bloodshed, too.

Enter Drago.

Drago is a megalomaniac. Drago believes with all his heart that dragons are an existential threat to Vikings, and if the other chiefs don’t listen to him, well, they’ll be made to. He’s gathered his forces for more than a decade, and hasn’t had a whit of his conviction drained from him.

What does Hiccup do with an enemy who has as much conviction and force of will as he does, just with “dragons are evil and should be exterminated,” and “I want power at all costs”? You can’t reason with an enemy like that. By this point, it’s become a basic ideological conflict, and reason won’t work. Hiccup will have to fight them.

Drago represents the challenge, the realization, the responsibility that sometimes, there is no redemption. There is no second chance. When someone is threatening those you take care of, be it Viking clan or dragon nest, you fight him. Because it is your responsibility to do so. 

This was why Stoick had to die. Hiccup needed to be shocked out of his idealistic mindset of “everyone can kumbaya.” He needed to accept the responsibilities of a leader. Most of all, he needed to acknowledge that he would sometimes need to fight to protect.

Hiccup goes from insisting that every situation has a peaceful resolution, an impossible situation for a leader, to accepting his responsibility, an acknowledging that some people can’t be reasoned with if you don’t want undue harm coming to those you lead.

Also, I’d like to point out that Drago serves as a rather nice dark mirror to Hiccup. He’s literally Dark Hiccup:

The cunning, strategic planning, and exploits weaknesses in his enemies… much like Hiccup exploited the fact that the Red Death wasn’t fireproof on the inside to defeat it.

Drago’s a very successful dragon tamer - by force. Contrast to Hiccup, who gets dragons to follow him by befriending them.

Drago is a very charismatic leader. We’re shown that Hiccup is as well.

They both are connected to Night Furies. Hiccup has one as his partner. Drago killed his and wears its skin as a cape.

They both lost a limb to dragons. Hiccup his left leg, and Drago his right arm. Coincidentally, they’re on opposite sides of the body.

Drago is Hiccup if he was born 20 years earlier and didn’t have his open-mindedness. 

(submitted by bingsu)

[jasonmcgathey]

Columbus References In Popular Culture

This page is dedicated to fictional works which have either been set in or referenced dear old Columbus, or else nonfictional ones which mention our fair city, though not entirely set here (if interested in documents which were actually created here, and/or by C-bus residents, see my “C-bus Artifacts” tab instead). Many of these occurred when the city was even more obscure than it is now, and therefore felt all the more bizarre:

100% Fresh – Adam Sandler (stand up comedy special). This Netflix offering was filmed in part at the Schottenstein Center. I haven’t seen it but the one pun I’ve heard about calling this the “Schlongenstein Center” sounds pretty lame. Amazingly, enough, however, considering it came out in 2018, this received some fairly strong Rotten Tomato scores – although the weirdest aspect might be that Paul Thomas Anderson filmed part of it. Then again, that could explain the robust reviews.

Family Ties – (TV series). Unless I’m missing something, they don’t come right out of the gate declaring where this sitcom family lives. Having said that, you’re immediately aware that the series has a very Ohio-ish feel to it – someone involved with the show’s creation clearly must have been from here. Many of us thought it completely mindblowing that there was a girl named Jenny Keaton at our school. Elise even kind of reminded me of my stepmom at the time. But I don’t actually remember anyone making a big deal of or for that matter even noticing at the time that this show was supposed to be set in this neck of the woods, probably due to this slow reveal.

As I begin binge watching the seasons, the first Ohio reference I notice at all doesn’t occur until episode 4. This older chick’s trying to seduce Alex and he’s attempting to cool her down with jokes about the Cleveland Indians (safe to say this was a suitably frosty topic circa 1982). And I don’t detect even an oblique mention of Columbus until the 6th episode, when one of Steven’s coworkers jokes about filming Woody Hayes’s house for half an hour. It’s a funny line on its own, but assumes a whole other surreal luster if you are actually watching the episodes in order and have no clue about their location.

Over time, it’s eventually established that Steven works at the Columbus PBS station. Though everyone in my family seemed to agree that he was the funniest character on the show, Alex became the breakout star and it probably explains why Michael J. Fox was the token celebrity here for Hands Across America. Rumors began to surface that the show’s creators had the Bexley area in mind when crafting this timeless family comedy, but, I don’t know, it doesn’t really look like Bexley to me. I’m thinking more like the older parts of Upper Arlington, or possibly Gahanna.

Other references of note:

Season 2, Episode 4 – Mallory receives a letter from the (fictional, as far as I know) Columbus Express newspaper saying she won this mother/daughter modeling contest, and will be featured in the Sunday supplement.

Season 2, Episode 12 – Steven says he hopes to catch the OSU-Iowa game on TV. This would have been the 1983 season. Just for entertainment value I looked up the result of this particular contest – the Buckeyes lost, 20-14, falling to a 2-1 record on the year. In the actual episode, OSU is down 16-12 on the final play of the game and this bratty kid Steven’s babysitting messes up his reception.

Season 2, Episode 14 – Tom Hanks guest stars for the 2nd time as Elise’s brother. Considering that he’s a wee bit too fond of drink these days, the family convinces him to call AA. Upon doing so, he initially makes a lame joke to the receptionist, about selling her a subscription to the Columbus Express.

This is as far as I’ve made it thus far with my binge watching research. However, this topic seems so urgent that I’m rushing to press with what I’ve got. Expect continual reports as I work through all 7 seasons.

Little Man Tate – (movie). While mostly filmed in Cincinnati, some Columbus footage is shot and makes the cut. Found among these scenes are the Wexner Center for the Arts, and downtown’s Ohio Theatre.

Our Towns – James and Deborah Fallows (nonfiction book): It’s kind of a murky, unformed premise, and I also found their writing style a little dull. But this husband and wife duo decide to fly themselves around, checking out what makes certain “small towns” in America tick. Of course even they admit it’s a bit ridiculous to refer to Columbus as a small town, although they usually don’t clarify what criteria made them choose which places, Columbus included. There’s a moderately informative chat with former mayor Michael Coleman, and the library director and a couple of other figures around town, but I wouldn’t really call this a highly engaging read.

Permanent Midnight – Jerry Stahl (memoir): This is a thoroughly engrossing read on its own, as a well-known screenwriter documents his struggles with drug addiction. The Columbus parts all occur early in the book, and are fun for different reasons, as he chronicles his early days working for Hustler magazine (I had no idea it started here, until reading this) while living at a YMCA here in C-bus.

Point Break: Who among us can ever possibly forget that Keanu Reeves’s character, the immortal Johnny Utah, is a quarterback for Ohio State before blowing out his knee, and therefore joining the FBI?

Ready Player One: The novel sets some of the action in Columbus, especially along High Street, but these references feel a little hokey and unnecessary. For the film version, Steven Spielberg decided to move the hero’s home to Columbus entirely, which might be arbitrary but is also less awkward. If I had to hazard a guess as to where The Stacks would be located, I’m going with Marble Cliff. Somewhere around that whole quarry area et cetera on McKinley Avenue.

Road Outside Columbus – O.A.R. (song). Of A Revolution are a curious case. The four original members formed this band and even released a couple of albums while still living in Maryland – and then all four of them moved here to attend OSU, adding a fifth member while doing so. They played out a ton while in school here, and were a popular draw, as I remember for example the girl who lived next door to us was majorly into them, she and all her friends. They were constantly going out to see this band play in bars all around town. Still, having said that, I don’t consider them a Columbus band. To my knowledge they never recorded any music here. I can see the argument both ways, but it feels more like an extended residency.

Road Outside Columbus has to be the best song I’ve heard from them. It’s a pleasant, catchy, Dave Matthews style jam from their 2003 album, In Between Now And Then. The subject matter is fairly obvious as Marc Roberge sings about having found his second home, though only living here a short while, even namechecking Riverside Drive and High Street in the process. And actually I think these lyrics even bolster my case that they are technically not a Columbus band, seem to be admitting as much themselves.

Roadshow – Neil Peart (nonfiction book): This really entertaining and in-depth document, written by the drummer for rock legends Rush, chronicles his decision to travel from show to show on the 2004 tour via motorcycle. He briefly mentions a show at Polaris, though no details are provided. Apparently has some family living just outside of Columbus, though, and he visits that Motorcycle Hall Of Fame in Pickerington.

The Simpsons – (TV series). Season 29’s Grampy Can You Hear Me episode is partially set at OSU. It mentions Brutus Buckeye and there’s a scene depicting the Oval.

“The Soul Is Not A Smithy” – David Foster Wallace (short story). In this tale from the Oblivion collection, a 4th grade teacher suffers a meltdown and takes hostages. I remember the kid narrating it mentions goofing around along the Olentangy River. Also trying to decide where this fictional school would be located, based upon the vague descriptions, and figuring that it must be in Upper Arlington, somewhere around Reed Road.

Teachers – (movie). This inner city school drama was filmed entirely here in town. It’s an okay if somewhat cheesy flick mostly recommended to those interested in spotting landmarks around town, and/or Nick Nolte fans. The soundtrack is probably better.

Traffic – (movie). Some of the scenes were filmed in Columbus, I think all of them downtown. Back in their snarky, pre-Dispatch ownership days, The Other Paper ran a pretty comical piece detailing how Michael Douglas successfully avoided them while filming.

Vitale – Dick Vitale (memoir). OSU had never enjoyed much of a basketball program as of this book’s creation in the late 1980’s. Nonetheless, Dick predicts that freshly minted coach Gary Williams will elevate the Buckeyes to regular top ten threats and national title contenders. Williams lasts three seasons, displaying very little of this alleged prowess. 

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