#also this IS with purely platonic dazai in mind

[akutasoda]

hello!! I was wondering if you could write about platonic bsd characters and a teen reader who has hallucinations constantly? Or if that's too much maybe a reader with unspecified PTSD flashbacks? If not, that is completely okay! I hope this isnt triggering, and I wish you an amazing day!!! ( ˘ ³˘)💕

also, out of pure curiosity, is it possible that I could become a frequent anon? maybe

🧁anon?

Sorry for typing so much, I just found your works and I love all of them!!!

lurking shadows

synopsis - how are they with a teen that has ptsd and hallucinates

includes - dazai, bram, tecchou

warnings - gn!reader, teen reader, reader has hallucinations + ptsd, fluff, slight angst, comfort, wc - 514

a/n: hello! thank you and wish you an amazing day too! and ofc you can become an anon!

osamu dazai ★↷

he was a man that is no stranger to reoccurring memories - ones that were less than pleasant. his past loomed over him like the daunting shadow it was and so he always told himself it would be weird if he didn't have some sort of ptsd.

but even so, he couldn't help but feel for you. around your age, he was doing things that gave him ptsd now so he couldn't even begin to imagine the things you must've gone through.

and in that way, he sympathised with you. while he probably couldn't help in any way, he could offer you time to talk as he understood. but the hallucinations rendered him utterly useless.

he truly wished he could help, but he isn't a professional in anyway and can barely take care of himself. so all he could do was provide you a corner to safely talk about these things with him, even if he couldn't help in anyway.

bram stoker ★↷

he can have very violent and intruding thoughts. mainly centered around what he had to endure and what kamui had made him do. they lingered constantly at the back of his mind, fighting to show themselves again at any given time.

but what hurt him the most was knowing that you had similar thoughts. someone of your age shouldn't be having such flashbacks and it hurt him. all he could imagine was his past daughter going through what you were.

however that meant he was so determined to help. while he had little clue on how to, he'd try his absolute hardest to atleast reduce the hold they had on you. he knew that they probably would never fully go away but maybe he could minimise most of them.

and similarly with your hallucinations, he'd always find a way to ground you. bring you back into reality, the present, where everything was different and you could try and move on from those past shadows.

tecchou suehiro ★↷

in his pursuit for justice, he may or may not have committed some acts along with his fellow hunting dogs that weren't exactly innocent. but he's rarely haunted by them.

at most he thinks about them sometimes but justifies them by claiming they were for proper justice. so when it came down to him looking out for you, your ptsd was something he couldn't help with.

the best help he could offer was consolation and maybe if it were caused by someone - they could be brought to justice. while it would be pretty difficult to tell, he still felt bad someone as young as you had those issues.

your hallucinations also left him pretty stuck. the most he would do would be trying to bring you back into reality. he gives surprisingly good hugs and whenever he noticed something was amiss with you he'd throw all his social awareness out the window.

focusing completely on you as he brought you into his embrace and reminding you that it wasn't real. you were safe and had no need to be scared.

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

BSD college!AU headcanons - Fyodor and Dazai being childhood best friends

TWS: Mentions of relapses, mentions of fainting, very slight mentions of depressive episodes, very slight mentions of past (child-) abuse

This is really only them as friends. Nothing more. I just like to think that they have a very strong bond and that they are childhood best friends. They are close in their own way but it's purely platonic/ only friendship.

Ft. Soukoku and Shibufyosiggol

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- Dazai and Fyodor are childhood besties

- Dazai is genuinely not afraid of Fedya unlike other people often are. No matter how murderous the glares are he shoots at him when Dazai decides to mess with him a bit. He doesn't mind. 

- Fyodor on the other hand never thought of Dazai as weird 

- Dazai often calls Fyodor or visits him in his dorm when he is in need of advice or help

- He only does this if he is really out of ideas (which happens rarely) 

- Fyodor might seem like he really doesn't want to help Dazai out or that he deeply judges his friend but  he always ends up helping him anyways

- They both struggle with sleeping so the often unintentionally meet each other in the 24h Café at night where they either sit quietly together and drink their coffee, hot chocolate or tea or tiredly chat

- It makes their night a it better if they are completely honest 

- They visit each other when one of them is stuck in a depressive episode 

- They have some kind of a rivalry going on about their exam scores since they are both always on top of their courses and of the school in general

- When Dazai and Chuuya had their first more serious fight as a couple, Dazai actually panicked a tiny bit and went to Fyodor for advice and also because he was scared that Chuuya didn't love him anymore. 

- Nikolai was there too that day and tried to give Dazai advice too

- Fyodor and Nikolai give completely different advice 

- After all, Fyodor is a really calculating and logical person who can decipher the mind of nearly each human while Nikolai seemingly throws any logic out of the window but still manages to bullshit his way through whatever he does and succeeds greatly. 

- When Dazai saw Fyodor seemingly being in a relationship with Nikolai, Sigma and Shibusawa he asked Fyodor about it and after Fyodor casually revealed that he was in fact together with the three of them and that they were in a happy poly relationship, Dazai nearly fainted 

- Dazai, Nikolai and Fyodor know each other since they were young teens after all and Dazai would have never imagined that the rat would pull three boyfriends while he himself was struggling for years to get together with Chuuya since they both had been deep in denial and had both been equally emotionally stupid aswell. 

- Fyodor is just as chaotic as Dazai. He just won't show it often

- While they always roast each other and while they always try to get on the others' nerves, they are actually worried about the other when he's stuck in a bad depressive episode again, when Dazai relapsed or is struggling trying not to relapse or when Fyodor fainted again due to his anemia. 

- Sometimes they just sit together and talk to the other about what is currently on their mind without really following a real conversation. 

- Then one can overhear Dazai talking about humanity and the purpose of life while Fyodor talks about philosophy and religious stuff. Both won't really reply to what the other said and often just acknowledge it with a nod but they both truly enjoy the conversation immensely because they can freely rant about what is on their mind  with someone who understands 

- Sometimes they discuss their views before going back to just exchanging information which can make the conversation even better

- Fyodor roasting Dazai to a point where the other is visibly struggling to find a good comeback while a shit eating grin is plastered on the rats' face.

- Dazai actually taught himself how to properly take care of Fyodor when he fainted again 

- He taught himself what to do while he's still unconscious and what to do after he woke up again so that he can take care of him when his boyfriends aren't around

- He really doesn't trust random people and he doesn't wants to waste any time asking people to help him then so he just did some proper research, talked to Fyodor about it and talked to Yosano about it

- After he did everything he could while Fyodor is still unconscious, he always calls either Nikolai, Sigma or Shibusawa to inform them

- On the other hand, Fyodor knows how to properly change bandages and is one of the few people who are allowed to change Dazai's bandages when he physically and/or mentally can't do so and while Chuuya isn't available 

- They swoon so much about their boyfriends to each other

- They always play chess together 

- Often it's one of the few things where they can relax for a bit

- Sometimes they shove two chessboards together and play together with Shibusawa and Nikolai over four chessboards

- Sigma is either their Referee or just watches them play for a while when he doesn't have anything to do

- When he watches them, he often cuddles with Shibusawa or Nikolai 

- Sometimes Nikolai and Sigma team up against the other three but while Sigma is pretty intelligent himself, he is much more talented at card games and gambling than at chess and how these three can play chess with four people is beyond him I

- He's pretty sure that Nikolai just bullshits his way through it

- Fyodor and Dazai both got convinced by Shibusawa to help him out for some projects for his fashion major and model for him

- Dazai and Fyodor both genuinely enjoy their daily conversations and like being in each other's company

- Sometimes they giggle (literally. They giggle in that one prison arc chapter) about some pretty dark shit together

- Them making stupid bets is a thing

- Sometimes Nikolai, Chuuya and Ranpo join their bets

- Fyodor kind of feels happy for his old friend when he sees how he slowly starts to recover by now

- After all they've met when Dazai was still heavily influenced by Mori and his abuse and when Fyodor and Nikolai still only wore rags from their time on the streets, barely speaking any Japanese 

- They listen to classical music together

- Dazai whines about how boring it is but in truth he kind of likes it

- When they were younger they sometimes had "sleepovers" where they hung out together until late in the evening in Dazais' room or in Fyodor and Nikolais' apartment talking about philosophy, humanity, society, beliefs, chess, feelings or just talking about random bs until they fell asleep 

- Fyodor gave Dazai advice on how to get together with Chuuya

- He was kind of sick of watching them being so oblivious 

- Dazai was kind of sick of Fyodor and Nikolais' complicated relationship as well as of them being painfully oblivious too

- They can be themselves around each other. Dazai doesn't have to put up serval facades and Fyodor can talk about what he wants without scaring the other away

 - Normally they can only be themselves around their boyfriends (Dazai can also be himself around Oda,Ango, Kunikida, Poe and Ranpo but Fyodor doesn't have any kind of relatives, parental figures or close friends) 

- They just really enjoy being in each other's company even though it might not always seem like it and they share a mutual understanding for each other which creates a deep bond between them

[imagineanime2022]

Hey, i just read that you write OC with character if you don't mind can i request male OC here?

I want to request male reader (let call him nurse reader) X Yosano (Platonic) headcanons reader have ability to healing everything he touch when he start to use his ability pink light going apper on his hands and flowers going apper around injury people but if flowers turn white that mean he can't heal that people anymore he going to pass out after use his ability. He also have poison blood when he bleeding black flowers going apper around him and enemy when anyone around him smell his blood they going to start to feel dizzy again if he use too much he going to pass out.

Nurse reader was man with good charisma he can use his word to both help the other and get what he went, he can people emotion he also have empathy he can feel what the other feel. He also the one who can talk anyone to calm down or make them more scared. Also he can flirt and manipulate to make the other swoon over him easy but he don't do it often, everytime he do it he feel shame and gross out (he flirt both men and women) he also good at stealing or assasian.

Nurse reader was sassy man, he like to sarcastic all the time sometime he being playful like Dazai(even most of time he are the one who stop Dazai), he was stubborn don't like to follow rule unless it for good will or good to the other, he also sadist and bloodlust to enemy (sometime to his co-worker but in more funny way) but for all of this under his bad triats he was good man he want to do the good thing and help the other, he also have strong empathy to the other he understand and want to help with his pure heart. He just like to hide his soft side. (He is classic chaotic good)

He really respect Yosano he see her as a his big sister figure, he also listen what she said.

He have his goal to find some woman too (he want to check on her because he worried about her)

- Bossy anon

Hope you like it!

Here

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Newsflash: Dazai cares for Chuuya

Before reading any further, I will be talking about stormbringer, so spoilers ahead!! Translation credits go out to: @popopretty on tumblr, make sure to give this kind human some love and appreciation<3

Also if you want to read the first few chapters of stormbringer: @buraihatranslations is currently translating it, give them much love and appreciation as well, they deserve it!!

Honestly, I have been so obsessed with Soukoku lately and I think the reason behind this is because when it comes to Soukoku, their feelings for each other are not as easy to grasp as love or hate, it is much more profound than that. There is care, hurt, trust, resentment, companionship, bitterness, and consideration...And ironically enough, thats just the tip of the iceberg.

If we break down their individual feelings towards each other, it will be easier to understand their bond.

On Chuuya's end, his feelings are much more clear due to his expressive personality. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, he can try and hide what he feels towards Dazai but his true feelings tend to unravel easily.

He sometimes tries to mask his feelings towards Dazai by throwing insults, but his facial expressions are enough to contradict what he is saying.

Chuuya's feelings towards Dazai can be easier to comprehend. He obviously feels this certain betrayal due to the fact Dazai left the Port Mafia. Not to mention, he and Dazai have always had a rivalry relationship.

In the Soukoku wiki page, it is stated that Chuuya is aware of Dazai not experiencing a proper childhood, therefore allows him to act as childish as he can and lets him tease him relentlessly. I don't know how reliable this source is, but either way I think its worthy enough to add.

In the Dragon head conflict when Dazai was out of sight, Chuuya told Mori to forget about Dazai. That was until Hirotsu mentioned a microscope, Chuuya quickly realizes it was code language because he remembered a previous conversation where Dazai says he needs a microscope to be able to see Chuuya properly.

The moment he figured out it was a tracker, Chuuya did not hesitate to jump in and rescue Dazai. But here is the catch: No one but Chuuya knew about the microscope, if Chuuya really didn't care for Dazai he wouldn't have mentioned the microscope and kept all this under wraps, leaving Dazai in a mess.

Chuuya trusts Dazai with his life. He never hesitates to leave his life on Dazai's hands when it has to come to it. Chuuya and Dazai have known each other for years, for Chuuya to be able to trust Dazai that much is because Dazai also cares for him too, right?

The answer here is yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya. In a superficial level, it doesn't seem like Dazai truly cares, but I can assure you that he does care for him. Weather you like to think of his care in a platonic or romantic manner, the care Dazai has for Chuuya is undeniable and extremely significant for Dazai's character.

I think that stormbringer establishes this idea even further. There is one specific moment in this light novel that shows his genuine concern towards Chuuya's well being:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right, the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

This section in stormbringer is personally one of my favorites, this is a very rare moment between both of them, but especially for Dazai. Like I stated earlier Chuuya wears his emotions on his sleeves, therefore even if he tries to mask his care with insults, its still painfully noticable that he genuienly looks after Dazai. Chuuya also sometimes show a vulnerable side of himself to Dazai, especially after using corruption.

Dazai on the other hand is extremely unreadable. Its hard to understand his true intentions and if he really cares for people or only sees them as a pawn. In this moment though, Dazai was being painfully genuine. Dazai literally prioritized Chuuya over the mission. He was already thinking of coming up with an alternative plan just in case Chuuya refused, obviously the sucess rate of the alternative plan would be lesser than the actual plan Dazai had in mind, he choose Chuuya's wellbeing over a mission.

In this section, Dazai wasn't throwing jokes or witty remarks, he was being serious. Because Dazai knows how desperately Chuuya wants to be human. He knows how important being human is to Chuuya.

Dazai wasn't manipulating Chuuya by giving him the chance to decide, we can see that Dazai was literally showing a lot of hesitation when mentioning this to him, we also get to see what Dazai was thinking, and we can tell he wasn't thinking about manipulative his movements in any way. All of this wasn't coming out of manipulation, it was coming out of pure care.

After six steps, Dazai reached the stair. He stepped on the stair and started walking down. Three steps down the stair, he heard a *clang*, a cool sound of metal echoing behind him. It sounded like the metal was kicked by the sole of someones shoes. The moment Dazai realized what the sound was, Dazai turned around in surprise.

There was already no one at the top.

Dazai was dazed for a moment, then he loosened his lips and laughed.

"Trying to act cool, huh?" Dazai smiled, both annoyed and relieved. Then he turned on his radio and sent out his order. "Chuuya has sallied, everyone get ready for battle."

I personally love this part so much, relief washed over Dazai the moment he noticed that Chuuya was going to go through with the first plan, which proves my point that he wasn't manipulating him and how Dazai was under a lot of stress because he wasn't sure if the alternative plan would be as effective as his original one.

Yet he still was willing to go through the alternative plan if Chuuya refused, because Dazai values him and regards his wellbeing.

Dazai was being surprisingly gentle in this section, he was being honest. There was no ulterior motive behind his actions here, just a boy looking after his partner.

"So i'm going to send an order to my men to prepare for action... Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay." Chuuya turned to Dazai. "Why are you asking me such a thing?"

Dazai didn't answer right away.

That was an unusual expression. It's like he was trying to say something, but he had to arrange the words in his head to decide where he should start. An expression he rarely shows.

This was right before Dazai drops the bomb to Chuuya about the memory erasure command. He was even asking for Chuuya's opinion on sending his men to get ready, this was the first time Dazai ever showed actual concern without masking it with witty remarks. You can tell that Chuuya isn't used to this.

And when you think about it, when Dazai and Chuuya have missions together, Dazai always uses corruption as a last resort and he always allows Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not.

I personally belive that the main reason Chuuya trusts Dazai with using corruption is because The Sheep used to exploit his powers too much, but Dazai leaves the decision to use corruption up to Chuuya. Dazai understands the physical and mental toll corruption takes on Chuuya and therefore leaves the choice up to him.

Theres another section in stormbringer that I really enjoy, it doesn't necessairly show solicitude but I still think this should still be taken into consideration:

"You seem pretty confident that Chuuya is human, don't you?"

"I am," Dazai laughed with a sigh. "There is no way a man-made code could create such a personality that I detest so much."

Throughout the whole story, Dazai is more than determined that Chuuya is human. The main reason Dazai finds Chuuya so intresting is because of how frighteningly human Chuuya can be, because of the fact that he always wears his emotions on his sleeves, something Dazai rarely does himself. Thats personally a nice sentiment from Dazai's end, even when Chuuya struggles completely when it comes to believing in his own humanity, Dazai still can't help but see him as a human being.

Also I am aware that Dazai literally said he detests Chuuya here but he also sighed and laughed while stating this, showing us that he isn't being serious about hating him.

And its not only in stormbringer were he shows his concern towards Chuuya. In fact, in this following manga pannel Dazai is telling Chuuya that if he is willing to listen him, he will stage his own escape so that Chuuya doesn't get punnished.

Honestly, if Dazai didn't care enough for Chuuya, he wouldn't have mentioned this to him. Chuuya didn't care enough to realize that he literally unwillingly freed Dazai which would get the pm mad at him, so the fact that Dazai is literally helping him out is no doubt out of care for him. If Dazai didn't have any regard for Chuuya he would've not staged his escape or mentioned anything to Chuuya, eventually incriminating him.

There are many misconceptions when it comes to Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya, people think that he doesn't care for him due to the fact that he left the Port Mafia, leaving Chuuya behind. But heres the thing: Dazai's intentions had nothing to do with Chuuya. He left the organization for his own good, he left it to fullfill Oda's wish.

"If Dazai cared for Chuuya then why didn't he take Chuuya with him?" the reason is simple, he knows how much the PM means to Chuuya. In stormbringer it is shown that Chuuya feels as if his humanity is attached to the people he is loyal to, in this case its the port mafia. Verlaine wanted to get rid of the pm because he believed that the pm is what kept Chuuya's humanity, eventually making Chuuya believe that he is only human if he stays loyal to the pm. Dazai knows this. Thats exactly why he didn't take Chuuya with him or even explains to Chuuya why he left, he knows it would be selfish to basically rip Chuuya's sense of humanity apart.

I have a feeling that if Dazai told Chuuya about the real reason he left the Port Mafia, Chuuya will not only feel conflicted about being in the pm, but he would also have an inner conflict with himself as a human.

People also think Dazai may not really care for him because of the fact that after the fight against Lovecraft he actualy deserted him, maybe that part was truly just supposed to be seen as simple humor, but either way I want to talk about it. Chuuya's only request to Dazai was to take him back to base safe, so why did Dazai leave Chuuya behind?

I mean he has carried Chuuya back to saftey before with no problem, for example in stormbringer when Chuuya uses corruption for the first time Dazai carries him back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so that he could say goodbye to his passing friends.

The reson behind this is because Mori needs to know that unlike Dazai, Chuuya is absolutely loyal to him. Leaving Chuuya the way he did will make Mori believe that these two really are at each others throats and that Dazai is insignificant to Chuuya. Making it seem that for Chuuya, the mafia comes first before anything else.

Therefore Dazai established Chuuya's saftey within the mafia since not only does Mori want these two to be hostile with each other, he doesn't want Chuuya to eventually turn against him if he truly found out more about Dazai's true reason of departure. Then again, this isn't canon but it is a logical assumption.

Not to mention that although Dazai did leave him behind, he folded Chuuya's coat and hat before taking his leave. There is also an an extra chapter where Ozaki Kouyou was talking with Chuuya but when he left he forgot his coat, which made Kouyou came across the coat; where she noticed a badge sewed inside saying "Name: Hatrack", she smiled fondly thinking to herself that some things just never change, in this case, Dazai and Chuuya's bond.

Dazai literally took his time to sew this into his coat just to tease him, it was a simple gesture but it shows us how their dynamic will never change. No matter what these two go through, they will always share a bond that consists on teasing, trust and underlying care.

All of this actually makes that theory of Dazai planting a bomb under Chuuya's car for the sole reason that the PM doesn't find Chuuya as an acomplice who aided Dazai on his escape much more feasable.

For Dazai to just plant a bomb under Chuuya's car with no motive makes no sense because if Dazai's true intentions were to simply mess with Chuuya, he would've most likely made it clear at that time. Dazai always has an underlying motive behind his actions, and in this case it is very likely that he did that for Chuuya's sake.

Don't get me wrong, I am aware that the bomb incident could've just been a comedic moment and I shouldn't look too much into it, but there is still a posibility, right?

These two hold so much trust and care for one another, yet they also hold a lot of bitterness and resentment. In the end the good aspects of their dynamic outweighs the bad.

Either you see these two in a platonic or romantic way, you can't tell me that their bond isn't significant.

Thank you so much for reading!! I wanted to talk about this for a while because I feel like people misinterpret Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya a lot so I hope this clears up things a bit<3

[dreamkidddream]

So far of reading your writing, I really love it! :)) May I request Kunikida, Dazai and Ranpo having an younger member of the agency being a sort of subordinate of them but acts a lot like a younger sibling to them? She's just really pure hearted and soft and really looks up to them so she likes helping them out a lot. Just some fluff because my boys deserve all love and affection

Awww thank you so much for the compliment!! This request is so cute, and yes, all the boys deserve all the love and affection that is possible cause they go through too much 😭 Anon requested this as platonic, and reader is gender neutral. Also, I wasn’t too sure what the age should be, so I went with Kyoka’s age, which is 14. Hope you enjoy!

TW: Mentions of suicide in Dazai’s part, but nothing too heavy or specific is mentioned. It does get kinda sad though, but it has a happy ending. Also, slight spoiler for season 2/Dark Era Arc, but nothing too major

Young ADA Member Acting like a Younger Sibling to: Kunikida, Dazai, and Ranpo

Kunikida

Okay, so when you first started at the office, people (specifically Naomi and Junichiro) were nervous when you got paired up with Kunikida. And Kunikida isn’t a bad man by any means, but he can be very, very, very strict

And how well do rules stick with kids/younger people? Exactly. It just sounded like a bomb waiting to explode

And you look so soft and so sweet! What if he made you cry?!

Which Naomi threatened to draw blood if he did

Even Kunikida himself was nervous. This was not written in his notebook to be a glorified babysitter!

But the President insisted, putting faith into you that you’ll be a great addition to the team and that he can lead you on the right path and not into trouble like some people he won’t mention (Dazai)

That was all that he needed to hear, and he took those words very serious. He won’t let the President down, and he wasn’t going to let you down either. You guys were gonna give it your all, whether you were ready to or not

But, to everyone’s surprise (really his) you both adapted well. You treated him with respect, said yes sir, no sir, tidied up both of your desks (which were right next to each other), you even tried to abide by his stern schedule without any complaints

You were a great help on missions too, you didn’t recklessly throw yourself into danger, and you made sure to look out for citizens to keep them safe and out of danger

And that wasn’t it, oh no

You made sure to bring him snacks (atleast the ones that he said were ideal), made sure that he was keeping hydrated and not tensed up all the time (working in this office will do that to you), and to make his workload as light as possible

After seeing him go off on Dazai for the 1000th time and getting wound up over a case that wasn’t getting any leads, you saw how stressed and frustrated he was getting. Mumbling to himself about how could he “replace the President if he couldn’t do this right”So you tapped on your shoulder, with one goal in mind: To comfort him

When you tapped his shoulder, he turned and yelled, “WHAT NOW?!”, right into your face

Time stood still as everyone froze, shocked. Even Kunikida himself after he saw it was you.

He felt immediately guilty, about to apologize for losing his cool when you began speaking

“Mr. Kunikida, please don’t stress too much. It’s not good for your heart! And don’t let this one thing stop you! You’re a great leader, and someone that I look up to. I wouldn’t be where I was at now without you! So please don’t doubt yourself, because we don’t, especially me! You’re my role model, Mr. Kunikida. Please, don’t ever forget that.”

After that, it was like a flip switched in him

“(Y/N), come here and walk very slowly.”

You did so with no hesitation, but you were curious

“Your shoe is untied. Here, let me tie it for you. It wouldn’t be ideal if you get injured because of a lousy shoelace. It wouldn’t be ideal if you got injured at all.”

“(Y/N), we have lunch scheduled at exactly 12:15. They’re also serving your favorite today, so we can’t be late, understand?”

“Yes sir!”, you said with a smile

“(Y/N), let’s go. It’s getting dark and if you still want to see that dreaded light show, we have to leave in 20 seconds to make it! I don’t want to see you sad or hear you complain if we miss it.”

“Coming sir! Just finishing up some work for tomorrow-“

“I already have it written in my notebook on when it will be done, so we can go.”

“Here you go Mr. Kunikida, I already typed up and printed out the reports for later on!”

“Thanks kid. And you don’t have to keep calling me Mister okay? Kunikida is fine.”

Dead silent in the office

KUNIKIDA is letting someone way younger than him just call him KUNIKIDA? Not MR.KUNIKIDA???

Everyone is, realistically, shook

But as time went on, they understood why

He came to look after you as his own

The entire ADA would have never thought the day would come (it wasn’t even in the notebook!) where he would care for a kid like his little sibling but here it was, right in front of their faces

But they weren’t complaining at all. You seemed to make his day a little brighter, and he wasn’t as uptight as much (but don’t be mistaken he was still Kunikida, just at an 8 instead of a whole 10)

After that mini pep talk that fateful day, he made it his duty to be a good role model for you. To always set a good example, both in and out the office.

He wouldn’t fail you, and he would be damned if he let anything happen to you

You’re a good kid, and you only deserve the best. And he was gonna be the best role model (and brother) for you

Dazai

Aw man, he was..conflicted to say the least

Listen, it’s not like he hates kids or teens, but it’s just extra responsibilities to watch over them. And he already slacks off enough to begin with, so is this really a good idea sticking a 14 year-old with him?

And lowkey, the way that he treated Akutagawa is still heavy on his mind, and he doesn’t want a repeat

But the President made it so, and Kunikida was ready to attack if he even thought about denying the order. Plus, it could be like another Atsushi around (another person to pass work off too) so that was a win!

And another person to annoy Kunikida too

You looked so pure and innocent. Are you sure that you’re in the right place? 

He genuinely thought you were a lost kid when you came up to him the first time lmao

Geez, you even sound sweet too! How has this world not damage or corrupt you yet?

“Hi Mr. Dazai! It’s nice to meet you. I hope that we can make a great team, and that I’m here to help if you need anything!”

“Nice to meet you too. And now that you mention it, these reports have been giving me a hard time...”

Not gonna lie, he did take advantage of your help. You offered, so why not? He thought you were gonna get sick of it soon and start complaining, but nope

You took his reports and did it with no hesitation every time. And you always handed it to him with a bright smile. On top of that, you always cleaned up his area and behind him, you did any leftover work that he ignored forgot to do so that he wouldn’t get yelled at, and tried to bring him small snacks and even packed a whole lunch for him when you noticed that he didn’t eat a lot

He even started to feel pretty bad and he was getting disapproving looks from his fellow detectives (even Kenji, and he never frowns)

So he started to take back and *GASP* actually do his work?!

But you stopped him, and told him that he should, “Take it easy! You work hard enough as it is saving the city. It’s no problem doing these reports, and I want to help you in any way I can, Mr. Dazai.”

“(Y/N), don’t worry, I can do them. And remember it’s just Dazai, calling me Mister makes me feel old like Kunikida-”

“I HEARD THAT!” 

And it seemed like you really cared for his wellbeing, especially when you had to accompany him on missions

Well, it just so happen that while you were going with Atsushi to find Dazai to start a mission, you both found him

Hanging upside down, sinking to the bottom of the lake

You rushed into the water immediately, pulling him out and onto the ground while Atsushi was just standing there in disbelief

Atsushi is so done with his shit

“Dazai, can you hear me?! Dazai?! Atsushi, I gotta give him CPR I don’t think he’s-”

“(Y/N) don’t worry he’s okay! This isn’t his first time he’s done this, and probably not the last.”

“W-what do you mean?”

Oh

Oh

You didn’t know about Dazai’s suicide methods? Did he not tell you or talk about it in front of you? Atsushi would have been somewhat proud of him if this whole situation didn’t happen, but here we are

“Geez, guess this method isn’t for me. It seems like someone is bound to always inter- hm, (Y/N)? What are doing out of the office? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

You hugged his chest tightly, not caring that he was practically soaked down to the bone

“Please stop, Dazai! Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to leave everyone?! Why are you trying to leave ME?!”

That got his attention

“Your life is important, Dazai, too important to try and end it on your own terms! You’re special to me, I look up to you. You’re smart, funny, and you help everyone out in your own special way. If you weren’t here anymore, everyone would be so lost...I would be so lost..,I-I-I wouldn’t know what to do-”

“(Y/N)-”

You looked up, eyes red and puffy with tears rolling down your cheeks, but filled with determination

“I promise you that I will make sure you know how much you matter to everyone. I swear on my life that I will.”

Okay, so you know how you were helpful/adorable before? On a scale of 1-10, you were definitely at an 11. But Dazai felt like you were at a 20

At first, he thought that you weren’t being genuine. You were just a young kid who didn’t know any better and was just trying to do your job, in sickeningly, oversweet way. I mean, who would really care about him with his horrid past? He was convinced that you were just naïve, and that the world would swallow you whole when it gets the chance. And it made him feel pity for you

But you proved him wrong

You weren’t just some ignorant child. You were in this agency working alongside him for a reason. And you reminded him of that everyday when he saw you working, handling the cases, taking actions on missions, all the while being kindhearted through and through 

You especially went out of way for him, and it was both a warm and scary feeling. People that he ended up caring for shared an undeserving fate, and he blamed himself for it constantly. So he tried to keep his distance, for your safety. You still had a life to live, and he didn’t want to ruin that for you.

But it was kinda hard to when you work together, and with you constantly being under his wing trying to show him the good in life and the difference that he made, he couldn’t help but admit it

You proved him wrong, and not a lot of people can say that. 

You went out of your way to make sure that everyone was okay, mentally and physically. He didn’t want to admit it, but you made the office (and his life) a little bit more bearable when you were around. You’re a good kid. And it was so fun to rope you and sometimes Atsushi into his schemes lmao y’all can be so gullible sometimes

Unfortunately, he still planned to leave this world, but he tried not to talk about it in front of or around you, and his number of attempts did dwindle, so that was a good thing

“Hey (Y/N), let’s grab something to eat, I would be a terrible person if I let my dear little baby assistant go hungry.”

“Dazai, if you’re hungry, you can just say that. I don’t mind finishing this later. It’s good to eat when you need to, and your health is #1 priority!”

He couldn’t take back his past and the way he abused Akutagawa, but he could certainly make sure that he doesn’t make the same mistakes

And that would start with being a decent role model for you. He won’t exactly be a “model citizen”, but he will always do the right thing. He’s turned over a new leaf by turning to the light, and while his methods aren’t always legal, he won’t stray from it again

And he won’t let you stray either

Ranpo

He was not a happy camper at all, let me tell you

Hello, do you know who he is?? He’s the greatest detective in the world! Why would the President think he need a sidekick?! He saw you working under him as an insult. Were they trying to say that he wasn’t good enough on his own?!

You weren’t exactly welcome with open arms, but that was okay! You were a complete stranger to him, but you were hoping that would change overtime

And Fukuzawa offered to praise him if he took you in so he stopped pouting momentarily

“Hi Mr. Ranpo! I’ve heard great things about you, and I hope that we can get along!”

“Well, of course you’ve heard great things about me, I’m the greatest detective in the world! It would be a crime if you didn’t hear about me.”

It was a rocky start between you guys to say the least. Not only was he lazy with the work he already had (I mean, it was too easy for him), but you were always willing to complete it (which you did, when you realized that maybe he was too tired or had other important things to worry about)

Who are you trying to fool, this man was just being lazy 

But you either didn’t realize it or you just purposely ignored it to get it done for the sake of the agency. Bless your pure heart for putting up with that poutyface 

Despite that, you handled everything with positivity and pride. When discussing cases (even though he would solve it in under a minute), you already had the reports ready to go, took notes for him, and you even tidied up his desk (which really consisted of his snack pile)

And you were starting to grow on him. You were like his mini cheerleader/#1 fan. His ego was going through the roof

On missions, it was a piece of cake for him, duh! With his ability, Super Deduction, it was always easy. And you were in the background, in awe with everything going on. He wanted to say he was surprised, but he would be lying. It would be a downright lie if you said you weren’t impressed with his ability and with him in general.

You repeatedly praised him, and he always gave you the same response: 

“World’s greatest detective, remember?”

The one thing that would cause him to see you in a new light, was when he got lost. You remembered Kunikida mentioning that he wasn’t the best at navigating the train system

He really said that Ranpo didn’t even know how to read the schedule, and that someone had to always walk with him to make sure he was going to the right places. 

He just wanted to go back to the office to his beloved snacks, when this happened. He wasn’t stupid by any means, but it was a waste to use his ability on something trivial as this-

“Mr. Ranpo! Wait for me!”

Just as he knew, you were running late meeting him

“Hey (Y/N) what took you so long?! My beloved snacks are calling for me back at the agency, and I need to answer-”

“Don’t worry, I packed you some!”

“Yeah, I already knew that since that’s the reason you’re late. And before you ask, you look out of breath, the receipt is still crumpled in your hand, and I see some crumbs from something you already ate on your clothes.”

Huh. Was it that obvious? You guess so...

Or maybe Ranpo really is the world’s greatest detective!

“I know, I know. I’m the best, no need to tell-”‘

“Mr. Ranpo, you deserve all the praise that you get. You’re someone I want to be like when I get older.”

“Hm?”, there you go praising him again, but you were crying

“I feel like people don’t take you seriously like they should, Just because you don't fight like the others doesn’t mean that you’re not a valuable asset to the group! And I wish people saw you like how I do! You’re my inspiration to do my best everyday. And I know that I can’t be the best detective, but I want to be as strong and intelligent and brave just like you so I can save people and be a motivating hero like you!”

He’s silent, and your words are sinking in. You’re wiping away your tears, the start of an apology on the tip of your tongue, when he suddenly put his hand on top of your head

He’s staring right at you, glasses on and green eyes open for you to see

“You’re already on your way there (Y/N). That I know. And I’m never wrong with my deductions, let alone when using my ability.”

The flood gates have OPENED 

You know that he doesn’t technically have an ability, but that doesn’t stop you from accepting his words and finding them as the truth. If Ranpo said it, he meant it. He was the world’s greatest detective, and you didn’t have any doubt in him

“Now let’s go, it’s going to start raining and I don’t want us to be hungry and drenched. Plus, Kunikida is totally freaking out and thinking that we’re both lost and in some criminal’s hideout right now.”

After that fateful day, the dynamic shifted between you two. Instead of you just doing the work, he pushed it off on someone else so he could explain to you about the different cases he had to solve, and other detective matters

Really he was just bragging and having you both slack off, but it didn’t matter you guys were still having fun

It even got to a point where he shared some snacks with you from his sacred snack pile

BOY WAS THAT THE TALK OF THE OFFICE 

All in all, while he knew that you couldn’t be the greatest detective (that was his title after all), he would help you get to your goal regardless. Not that you would need a lot of extra help, he was watching over you after all, and you already have a good head on your shoulders along with the heart of a hero

Every Sherlock needs a Watson, and he deducted that it wasn’t too bad having you by his side

[paradisechased-a]

anonymous asked: What are your favorite ships with all your muses from every fandom?

a...all, my muses? all? hoo boy.

for my own sanity i’ll only answer this for canon muses but if you’re curious about an OC for some reason just ask lmao?? also uhh putting it below the cut bc its enormous

DANGANRONPA

Byakuya: Leon, Celeste, Mikan, Kyoko, Junko, Mukuro, Kaede, Maki, and Rantaro

Leon: Byakuya, Makoto, Mondo, Hajime, Nagito, Shuichi, Rantaro, and Kaito

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS

Dazai: Kunikida, Chuuya, and Ranpo!!

Poe: Ranpo and,,, actually no the only person i could ever see him dating at the moment would be Ranpo, so

FIRE EMBLEM

Byleth: uhh,,,no one, really? at least, there’s no one yet, i haven’t done much with him yet-

Felix: Ashe, Bernadetta, and Sylvain!

Sylvain: Felix, Ashe, and Dimitri

Gaius: oh lord. Robin, Chrom, Frederick, Tharja, Sully, Miriel, Libra, Panne, Cherche, Virion, Anna, Henry, Cordelia, Olivia, Lon’qu, Emmeryn, and if we’re allowing cross-game ships would be Niles, Ashura, Leon, Lukas, Claude, Sylvain and then, only platonically, Lysithea. ...i cant explain why he has so many, dont ask-

Robin: Gaius, Chrom, Olivia, Anna, and Frederick, then cross-game ships, Leo, Corrin, Silas, Edelgard, possibly Claude??

Maribelle: Lissa and Donnel 😌

Olivia: Henry, Robin, Gaius, Sumia, Panne, and Cordelia!

Corrin: i don’t really have a preference? she’ll probably be interested in anyone, as long as they’re not her siblings or a 2nd gen ofc. also, Robin as well

Silas: either Charlotte or Jakob! no real reason, i just think they’re neat; also Robin

Beruka: she’s aromantic and doesn’t care uwu

Berkut: Rinea and only Rinea

Saber: uh,,,hm. maaaaybe like, Deen? possibly?? that’s the only other character i can think of that’s at least 30 lmao

Kiran: Líf, but like, specifically helcursed’s Líf because that jelly man holds a special place in Kiran’s heart and mine as well. also maaaaybe Alfonse but i’ve never really explored that, so

Leo: uhh,,,, ?????? good question!! i guess Takumi would be the obvious answer but also like,,, maybe Niles? or Laslow?? and uh, cross-game ships would also include Robin

YOUR TURN TO DIE

Joe & Sara: putting these two together because they’re the only two i ship with each other and even then, just barely. let two characters of the opposite gender just be besties 2k21 thank you

Keiji: the first person in yttd i even considered shipping with anyone and it’s 100% Shin purely bc i’m weak for the enemies to lovers trope and i will not shut up about it, also lowkey Kurumada bc, idk, buff buds or something-

Shin: either Keiji or....maybe Kurumada?? my reasons being,,, ??? he’s easily holdable but also like an angry kitten, Keiji and Kurumada could handle an angry cat, this analogy is weird but it makes sense just trust me

Kai: i haven’t really thought about it honestly...? i think in my personal headcanon he’s aromantic but i’m still undecided, so

Midori: no one, because he doesn’t deserve rights at all <3

DURARARA!!

Shizuo: Izaya, and i highkey blame tumblr user youngmenace for this but i also don’t regret it in the slightest. fellas is it gay to have such an intense rivalry that they’re always on your mind even when they’re not even involved with something in the slightest? yes. yes it is.

POKEMON

Augustine: Lysandre ofc and, i can’t begin to explain why, but like... Leon? also lowkey Diantha

[writingandmore]

Master-post for Imagines and Headcanons

 Genshin Impact: 

 -Ideal Date w/ Diluc

-Star Wars: 

 - Poe Dameron x badass! reader

 - Being bffs with Ahsoka Tano

 -General relationship headcanons for Leia 

Marvel:

 - Bucky Barnes headcanons where his s/o is a firefighter

Batman:

 - Bruce Wayne overhearing their S/O sing beautifully while playing the piano or guitar.

 -Bruce Wayne with an S/O with children from a previous relationship.

 - Dick Grayson  reacting to his s/o, an asexual trans guy, having self-esteem issues

Voltron: 

 - Pidge VLD fluffy headcanons

 - Headcannons for fluffy, more domestic Allura x Female MC

 -Lance reacting to his s/o, an asexual trans guy, having self-esteem issues.

 -Lance and Keith taking care of sick s/o. 

 -Keith, Shiro, and Lance with a tactical, strategy-minded s/o 

 -Paladins reacting to an insecure s/o. 

 -How the Paladins react to having a crush.

Hetalia: 

 -Aph America, Germany, and England reacting to a very flirty s/o.

 -General relationship headcanons for Alfred (APH Amercia) and Mathew (APH Canada) 

 -Alfred and Mathew with an s/o who always feels warm

 -APH Hungary, Belarus, Ukraine, and Belgium making their s/o food for their birthday

 -APH Russia with an s/o nervous about physical affection becoming really affectionate over time. 

 -APH Russia with his s/o who’s nervous on their wedding night (Slight NSFW)

 -APH Russia helping a depressed s/o.

 -APH Hungary, APH Austria, and APH Prussia with an s/o who gets nervous in public/crowds

Naruto: 

 -Sasuke overhearing their S/O sing beautifully while playing the piano or guitar?

 -Relationship headcannons for Deidara.

 -Non uchiha massacre AU with Itachi x Hyuga! Reader 

 -Itachi and his s/o at the beach 

Black Butler: 

 -Relationship headcanons for the Undertaker and Sebastian 

 - Jealousy headcanons for the Undertaker and Sebastian

 -Headcanon for how Sebastian, Bard & Finny would react to something threatening her life that they could not control.

Homestuck: 

 - Headcanons for how Dirk, Dave, and Kankri would comfort their s/o with social anxiety who did terribly on a presentation.

Pokemon: 

 - Domestic Raihan fluff headcanons.

 - Raihan with an s/o that's shorter than him but can also kick ass.

 -Raihan with a mute s/o

 -Raihan, Leon, and Piers with a rock star S/O. 

 -Leon taking Hop to see his S/O’s concert. 

 -Brock relationship headcanons.

Ace Attorney: 

 -Headcanons for Edgeworth being blind. 

Danganronpa: 

 - Kokichi as a dad.

 -Kazuichi as a dad. 

 Boku No Hero Academia: 

 - Bakugou, Izuku, Kirishima, and Todoroki with a reader who’s dealing with upsetting family developments. 

 - Can we get Bakugou, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Izuku dad!headcanons

 - Bakugo, Izuku, Todoroki, Kirishima, and Shinsou having an s/o with anxiety and people made fun of them for it. 

 -Platonic Bakusquad with an affectionate friend 

 - Tamaki amajiki, Mirio, Tomura, and Hawks with an s/o who overworks themselves

 - Izuku comfort hcs of him finding out his s/o has self harm scars/self harms?

 -Plantonic Izuku helping out a friend who struggles with studying

 -Izuku and Shinsou and what they want and need in an s/o

 -Shinsou husband headcanons

 -Shinsou comforting his s/o before an audition

 -Todoroki reacting to his s/o, an asexual trans guy, having self-esteem issues.

 -Todoroki getting jealous and confessing his feelings 

 - Soulmate Denki AU

 - Poly headcanons of Monoma, Shinsou, and their s/o.

 -Dabi relationship headcanons

 -Jealous Dabi Headcanons

 -Iida comforting his s/o

 -Aizawa with a homicide detective s/o

Life is Strange: 

 -Nathan Prescott reacting to overhearing their S/O sing beautifully while playing the piano or guitar?

The Arcana: 

 - Headcanons of kisses with Asra.

 - The Arcana main 6 as models.

 -Headcannons of the main six trying to help an MC who refused to rest and take a break and sometimes faints because of work.

Monster Prom: 

 -Damien meeting his s/o’s 6 member family. 

She-ra Princesses of Power: 

 -Catra with an s/o who has curly hair. 

 - Entrapta x reader. 

 -Adora with a vampire s/o. 

 Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss: 

 - Fluffy Sir Pentious headcanons. 

 -Alastor and Angel Dust and what they need/want in an s/o 

 -Alastor and Angel Dust with a Pure and Sweet S/O

-Blitzo and Angel Dust interacting with their s/o’s abusive parent

 -Husk cuddling headcanons

 -Loona dating headcanons

 -Blitzo relationship Headcanons

 -Blitzo proposing to his s/o 

 -Blitzo’s so proposing to him

 -Blitzo taking care of a sick s/o

 -Blitzo reacting to a trans s/o coming out

Devil May Cry 5:

  -Being Dante’s s/o headcanons

 -Dante and Virgil with a dorky s/o 

The Dragon Prince: 

 -General Modern! AU Headcanons

 -Soren with an s/o who was Aaravos’ apprentice and daughter

 -Dating headcanons for Soren 

 -Soren and Corvus with an s/o recovering from an abusive family

 -Soren and Gren s/o preferences  

 -Aaravos with a slim s/o who is insecure with their body (NS/FW) 

 -Aaravos with a human noble s/o

 -Aaravos fluffy headcanons

 -Aaravos with a child headcanons

Bungou Stray Dogs: 

 -Dazai and Chuuya with an s/o who is a sex worker (NS/FW)

 -Chuuya when his s/o gets bullied. 

 -Chuuya with a crybaby s/o. 

 -Chuuya with an s/o who is getting flirted with

 -Chuuya with an s/o who is afraid to ask for affection 

 -Ranpo with an s/o that surprises him on Valentine’s Day (NS/FW) 

 -Atsushi’s reaction when his partner brings home a pet.

 -Chuuya and Atsushi general relationship headcanons.

 -General Relationship Headcanons with Akiko (NS/FW) 

Fire Emblem:

 -Awakening/Fates

   -Tharja, Camilla, Lucina, Peri, and Olivia comforting their child after a nightmare. 

 -3H: 

 -Claude with an s/o from a foreign kingdom. 

RWBY: 

 -Qrow dating headcanons

 -Sun general relationship headcanons

Persona 5:

 -Haru with an idol S/O

 -Haru and her S/O going on a romantic horse ride. 

 -Haru getting sung to by her s/o. 

 -Makoto with a Biker S/O

 -Makoto going horse back riding with her s/o 

Mystic Messenger: 

 -Yoosung with an s/o who is a huge Star Wars fan

 -Zen protecting his s/o from someone pushy 

 -Seven, Saeran, Jumin, and V reacting to their s/o coming out as a trans man

 -Seven and Zen with an s/o who struggles with BPD and Self-harm

Nanbaka:

 -Rock with a shy s/o

 -Samon starting out a relationship/fluff headcanons

 -Samon and Enki with a crush on the same person

The Alienist: 

 -Laszlo meeting his future s/o for the first time .

MP100:

 -Serizawa general relationship headcanons

[bi-dazai]

BSD Episode 27 Analysis

Hello! Natalya back with my second instalment of my episodical analyses of BSD. This week I’ll be looking at episode 27 from the lens of a more platonic soukoku than last week, which was about explicit romance coding in terms of double-entendre and visual imagery. You can find that post here. I would suggest reading it, because I may indulge myself in romantic soukoku in this post a bit, although it will only be a side-track.

A note before we begin, however – I’m writing this in a much more casual academic tone, and I’m not using lowercase and internet casual as I did in my previous post. This is because it helps me enunciate my points in a way that doesn’t make me look like a crazy person. I also made quite a few grammatical errors, typos, and strange sentences. This tends to happen when I write long-form internet casual. For the sake of clarity, you’ll have to put up with the tone I usually place in a more casual academic setting such as my university tutorials.

So as usual I’ll pick out a few moments to focus in on to explain an overall general subtext and underlying message etc in the episode. For this episode, I’ve picked the opening in which Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazai’s hand, and the scene in which our two other Sheep members are introduced.

-

This episode I’m going to focus on the way the episode expresses the burgeoning, newborn perceptions of Dazai on Chuuya and vice versa. I’m also going to be referring to moments that count as SPOILERS, so if you care about that then careful going forth, or perhaps wait until the Fifteen adaptation is finished before coming back to this post and reading it.

Also, for this episode I’ll be diving into my writing major and only partially into my film studies minor. I’ll have you know I pull out my textbooks and lecture notes every time I make an analytical post like this, haha!

-

So let us begin with the opening moments of the episode. This episode, structurally, is where we finally start diving past the surface of the introduction and right into the story of Dazai and Chuuya. This is the proper introduction of their relationship. So this first fight sequence serves to demonstrate the tone with which we will begin.

So here we have some classic establishing character writing. Step 1: Introduce the base characteristics of your characters. Step 2: Introduce a problem. Step 3: Explore how they interact with the problem.

So here we witness not just Chuuya and Dazai’s unique takes on how to deal with this problem, we also have their own perceptions of each other’s actions to explore. Remember – this story is about the two of them as a pair, not just as individuals.

So here we have our problem – an armed soldier has just appeared and is clearly threatening violence. Chuuya reacts by taunting – “Oi, old man. Let’s save us both some time.” Dazai is surprised by Chuuya’s brazenness (see the expression animated in the first SC). Chuuya taunts the opponent a little more, edging and encouraging danger, clearly seeking a fight. Dazai approaches. Walking calmly past, he says to Chuuya without regard for the armed soldier, “…you could just trick him to get some information out of him.” Here we have the set-up of Dazai and Chuuya in a problem. Chuuya sees a problem as a threat and escalates to a physical altercation; Dazai sees a problem as an opportunity and prefers mental cunning.

As the scene continues on however, we begin to recognise a similarity in Dazai and Chuuya, and that is that they have little regard for the problem. They understand how powerful they are and their upper hands (Chuuya his ability and Dazai his intellect). Even when they talk to a grown adult man wielding a gun, they talk down to him. When he holds a barrel to their heads within deadly range, they aren’t fazed:

And, of course, in this exchange here both Dazai and Chuuya both are shown to be knowledgeable of underground groups, networks, and goingsons. Keep in mind Chuuya is the ‘King of the Sheep’ and acts pretty much as their leader and later becomes Executive before Dazai does. And Dazai is Mori’s protégé, frequently set up to be the next Boss of the mafia to the point that Mori is fearful that Dazai would have taken his seat sometime soon if he hadn’t broken him (further) with the death of Odasaku. Chuuya and Dazai, despite their differences, are the most dangerous people in the underground right now, they’re clever and powerful. Chuuya may be the ‘brawns’ in their physical fights, but off the battlefield anyone interacting with them is subjected to two intensely intellectual and cunning people who are deadest on a goal. This is also shown at the end of the episode with their conversation with Randou, somewhat in Episode 21 when Chuuya isn’t beating the shit out of the Guild.

In short – they are different, yet incredibly similar. They have different views on a situation, but given the same goal they will work towards it in differing ways with equal success. They are the perfect rivals, and the perfect counterbalances to each other’s personalities and ethos’s. In My Hero Academia, Bakugou’s desire for victory and Midoriya’s pure heart and established as traits which each one must learn from the other to become both better heroes and better people. In Bungou Stray Dogs, Chuuya and Dazai work with and against each other and transform each other into better people.

And so, that is where this moment comes in:

(Sidenote: Chuuya’s line here translates roughly as “It’s useless to shoot dead bodies.” Don’t ask how, but I know that because of Jojo’s.)

(ignore this repeat sc, tumblr editor is being fucky)

(Second sidenote: Look. Look how close they’re depicted in this shot.)

(Third sidenote: sorry for quality drop – Australian internet is special.)

So here we have our first instance of one half of Soukoku directly challenging and changing an aspect of the other half. Here, Chuuya notices how clearly sick Dazai is. Furthermore, if we refer to our second SC (where Dazai’s expression makes me want to cry), we can see parallels to a certain future (ongoing) mental health arc:

I bring this up because we later find out that the reason Akutagawa is so violently driven is that he was constantly demeaned and psychologically abused by his mentor – Dazai. Akutagawa becomes not an antagonist but another protagonist upon meeting Atsushi [insert shin soukoku summary here] and bettering himself. He makes a pact not to kill anyone and begins working together with Atsushi (he used to be a lone wolf – a stray dog). Atsushi also learns to be confident and put a foot down from Akutagawa. But the point here that we need to focus on, of course, is that Akutagawa is seen as utterly deranged, violent, and demonic in the first season, but later we realise that he is in fact capable of empathy but was extremely battered by his own mental abuse.

We also see this expression on Fitzgerald as he begins to lose control. It’s another tie-back to Akutagawa (and in a small part Atsushi, but I’ll leave that for later when I analyse that episode). And we see it in Shibusawa in Dead Apple. We see this expression and through the stylistic language of Bungou Stray Dogs we come to understand it as not the depiction of someone to be reviled but the depiction of someone who is struggling inside.

So here, when we see Dazai make that expression, we know that Dazai may be a seemingly totally apathetic, suicidal, amoral mafioso who just went utterly crazy while shooting a dead guy in the head, but we know it is because, currently, Dazai is extremely, extremely depressed.

In thinking of Akutagawa and understanding what we know of Dazai’s past with Mori, it is safe to assume that Mori has not once opposed nor done anything to help Dazai with his mental illness. Mori has, in fact, utilised Dazai’s mental illness as a tool and a strategy to keep Dazai close.

And then the light finally comes in, and Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazai’s hands, Dazai gets scolded, and finally someone is forcing Dazai to question himself.

So let’s move onto the vice versa of this scene. I’d like to give partial credit for this next piece of analysis to user @bluelancelion who wrote up an excellent little piece on this scene [https://bluelancelion.tumblr.com/post/184330424612/okay-so-we-all-know-that-dazai-is-manipulating-the]. [this is where the spoilers start to come into play!] Please go read that before you move on with my post here, because I’m going to expand on some points, however I don’t want to summarise something that’s already perfectly written anyway so I’m leaving that one to some assigned reading!

Ok.

So as OP stated, this is the first scene in which Dazai doesn’t put up a play act to hide his own feelings. Let’s actually go backwards when analysing this scene:

DAZAI: “Lay off him already. He has the ability to choose for himself how to use his power. Even a kid could figure out that much.”

I’ve attached this because that’s a stark contrast to this:

Both in expression and in dialogue, Dazai is already different. And here we have Dazai for probably the first time in his life using his intellect to set up a ploy for someone else’s benefit and not just his own.

[ROMANTIC SOUKOKU SIDETRACK: Dazai has been shown to canonically be a selfish person, especially in his Port Mafia days. Expanding on my theory expressed in my episode 26 post in which I posited Dazai has feelings for Chuuya that he either understands or doesn’t just yet, this could be both out of his feelings for Chuuya urging him to do something to make Chuuya happy (We can also add to this by mentioning how he just lets the Sheep hostages go. Chuuya is only meant to be working with the Port Mafia temporarily – Mori may have his plans but these are a long time coming at this point. Chuuya is still attached to Sheep and releasing hostages gives him much more of an excuse to ditch the mafia totally), and/or his feelings urging him to do something to keep Chuuya to himself. This is especially interesting considering this little interchange (she’s looking at Dazai):

Yeah that’s either 1) double-entendre or just 2) straight up explicit romantic competition. It’s after this that Dazai stops going along playfully with them and starts straight up demeaning them and saying Chuuya can do what he wants without their input.

I’ll end my RSS (Romantic Soukoku Sidetrack) with a sneak into Chuuya’s side:

Make of that what you will.]

*another kinda pointless sidenote: chuuya’s sheep male friend refers to chuuya as ‘omae’ [derogatory when used towards a person who isn’t your subordinate (i.e. teacher to a student; boss to an assistant etc) which is pretty damn brazen considering Chuuya can snap him in two at a moment’s notice and that Chuuya is probably the only reason their gang is still even alive.

 Okay, Romantic Sidetrack done! Now back to our analysis. We’re moving on to our final scene of the episode. Before we get into the soukoku analysis, I just wanted to point out this little frame here:

For those who don’t know, the founder of the ADA is this cat. He wasn’t always a cat (I think?), but in Bungou Stray Dogs as we know it, he’s a cat. The cat has been seen frequently in scenes involving flashbacks to Dazai’s time in the mafia and often when Fukuzawa is trying (so hard) to feed cats. It’s also worth mentioning there’s a tradition of cats in Japanese literature, often about observing the world and realising things about yourself by observing it. If you want an anime example, go watch My Roommate Is A Cat. It functions in pretty much the same way. Anyway, here’s a fun aside in which Fukuzawa realises the cat is the ADA leader, “Come!”, and the ADA leader promptly rolls around the floor chasing feathers while going “nyan nyan nyan”: [picture not my own]

Okay where was I before I got sidetracked by a cat? Right. Soukoku.

We get a bit of Dazai gloating about getting rid of his romantic competition Sheep’s constant hold on Chuuya, before Randou asks Dazai to please shut the fuck up about the guy he literally met that week and please just send me to the execution room I don’t think I can take any more of this kid going on about Chuuya. (Understandable, have a nice day |　わかりました。良い一日を過ごしてください。)　

So we get a bit of Dazai’s explanation on why Randou is the culprit before we hear that all-too-familiar screech of Chuuya coming in hot. Let’s pause it there.

We’ve never, ever heard Chuuya yell like that without Corruption. Yet he does it now. This 1) ties Corruption in with our current mystery about Arahabaki (spoiler: Corruption is Chuuya allowing Arahabaki full reign over the god’s vessel (Chuuya)) and 2) makes us aware that the Chuuya we’re familiar with from our current knowledge of the anime (I use the anime because that’s what I’m analysing) is a little different from fifteen-year-old Chuuya. Okay, so keep that in mind, and we’ll keep going, fast forward a bit until this final bit after the credits:

[this shot: Chuuya has journeyed towards Randou. There is something tying Chuuya and Randou together that Dazai is not quite part of. Spoiler: Randou as we know is Rimbaud, who is a key factor in Chuuya’s development (hat) and the Arahabaki investigation.]

[this shot: First, we think back to Dazai, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald, Shibusawa. Those expressions are similar, but there’s something really wrong here. Let me tell you want it is. Mainly, visually the pupils of Chuuya’s eyes are inverted. But secondarily, we’ve already been visually warned just over ten minutes ago, first by this scene in which we cut to Chuuya while we talk of Arahabaki’s eyes (it does cut also to Dazai, but his expression is one of “I’m figuring out a mystery” and his eyes are obscured. This shot of Chuuya lingers on Chuuya’s eyes, pulling focus to them and the expression on his face.)

Secondly, Chuuya’s eyes are the colour of the sea that Randou talks about. And, of course, in this shot we see not only the sea but also the light of Chuuya’s ability plainly:

So there we have a burgeoning relationship between Chuuya and Randou, and a hint that we are going to be discussing Chuuya’s relationship with Arahabaki and with himself as its vessel.

And then we have this – Dazai did not know any of this. This is foreign to us – the Dazai we know has predicted almost everything. He even predicted Odasaku’s death. But here, he’s totally out of his depth. He’s dealing with gods now. He expected the main part of their investigation to end a few minutes ago when Chuuya explained how Randou staged the resurrection of the previous Boss. But now we, with Dazai, are being thrown headfirst into something clearly very much a Chuuya thing. And now we will see whether Dazai sticks or leaves with a plot involving an actual fucking god of destruction (we know what happens. He does).

-

And so, to finalise: This episode set up relationships. It set us up to the fact that this story is going to be about relationships, and more specifically about these ones:

- Dazai and Chuuya

- Dazai and Sheep

- Chuuya and Sheep

- Chuuya and Randou

It directs the audience to consider events, framing, characters etc within the contexts of these relationships in order to appreciate the story properly.

And yeah it also sets up that Dazai is a bit of a jealous bitchy bisexual.

[awkwardbsd]

Dino’s Questionnaire: Day Five

Day Five: Deep Questions & Squad Shenanigans

Here are some more thought-provoking questions and some stuff near the end to make it fun with all of the squad!

Deep Questions

Who or what inspires you?

To be honest, no single person or thing truly inspires me. Even if I say they do, I know I barely know them and that there are parts that I will never get to know, so I can’t say that their complete being inspires me. There’s a difference between admiration and inspiration as well that I think sometimes gets a bit blurred in my mind. I admire and get inspired by many of the voice actors and celebrities that I see. My parents have inspired me. My dog inspires me. And there are certain people that I’ve met that inspire me. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that you need to become your own inspiration and driving force because even when other people encourage you, you have to become the person that you want to be. You shouldn’t be chasing after anyone else’s shadows or anything like that. I think to become your own inspiration is something else.

If you could be remembered for one thing and one thing only, what would it be? Basically, what would you want your legacy to be?

I want to be remembered for the impacts I made on people. I was going to say my personality but that probably isn’t a good idea since most will admit I have a sour and bitter personality, I feel like that’s the best way to go. And while there’s no use in being remembered for things of beauty if the person you were was far from that, I think a person’s personality can only live on beyond death when people remember them and are impacted by them.

Sure, I want to be remembered for any accomplishments I have or things that I’ve done that embody what society views as “success”, but what do my friends think of me? How have I changed people (for better or for worse)? Would they be completely the same without me? I think that’s the most important thing to be remembered for because the world is beyond just you, your personality, and your accomplishments. It’s how those are used and how those impact that really makes a difference.

Give us an idea of your hopes and dreams.

These are forever changing. I guess my dream is to be proud of the person that I’ve become. My legacy and impact on other people also rely on... well, other people which I can’t control. How they interpret me and my being is beyond me. However, being proud of the person that I am is in my control, but right now, I can’t say that I’m completely proud of who I am and what I have done or what I’m doing.

Sure, I have pipe dreams of getting into some sort of strong relationship someday, writing music, and having my version of success. And while success to me does mean happiness, it also means being able to help other people without compromising yourself. It’s not that I can become a philanthropist or anything, but to give my happiness and success and share it without compromising my way of life is definitely a version of success that I strive for.

If you could talk to your younger-self  (maybe five minutes maximum) what would the conversation be about?

Of course, this depends on what version of younger-me I’m talking to. Let’s say that they are ten years old, I would tell them that this animation and anime phase that’s coming and slowly manifesting won’t be going away anytime soon, I would tell them that mental health is a real thing and to start a talk about it, and I would tell them to take care of themselves and that being comfortable with themselves is one of the most important things in the world. I would tell them that maybe they were born differently, maybe they don’t work or interact like other kids do, but that’s okay because one day, you’ll learn to accept yourself even if no one else does.

What is your ideal partner/spouse like? What qualities/traits do they have? What do they look like? What do you look for in a person?

I guess I look for the same thing that I look for in a friend. I want a person with a sense of humour, kindness, caringness, they can’t be too serious, a certain amount of coolness under pressure, they need to balance me out sometimes, support me when I can’t support myself, understand me (especially when others won’t), want what’s best for me, like me for who I am and who I may become, be loyal, respectful, not violent or abusive, etc. And if anyone had all those traits, I don’t care what they look like.

Squad Activities

Two Truths One Lie: List two true things about yourself and one thing that’s false. Don’t tell us which is which, and we will guess!

*This is meant to be very easy*

I used to play the violin before being transferred to viola

I used to do taekwondo but quit a couple of years ago

My avatar is usually a purple dinosaur, but the truth is, it was originally intended to a be a dragon but was changed due to many reasons (one being that I can’t draw a dragon).

Make some superlatives (those things put in yearbooks for “most likely too” for every member of the squad (or the ones you know). Feel free to describe and compliment them!

*This is based on the actual people I met and not the BSD Characters but weirdly, a lot of people seem similar*

This is inconsistent as heck because I was too lazy to search nicknames (I usually refer to them by their characters especially since they’re deep in RP). I also left people out that stumped me.

Miki [@awkward-akutagawa] - Most Likely to Start a Cult / Best Leader

Em [@awkward-chuuya] - Most Likely to Get Drunk Too Fast 

Alex [@awkward-dazai] - Most Likely to Neglect and Shun All Responsibilities as a Mod (excluding Dino)

Bel [@awkward-kunikida] - Most Likely to Get Unwillingly Dragged Into Chaos

Char [@awkward-ranpo] - Most Likely to Call Me Out on my Bulls**t

Fizz [@awkward-atsushi] - Most Likely to Get Caught Up in a Pyramid Scheme

Kenji [@awkward-kenji] - Most Likely to Platonically Marry Dino

Kenna [@awkward-kyouka] - Most Likely to Be that “Small Town Girl” in DON’T STOP BELIEVING

[@awkward-lovecraft] - Most Likely to Lurk a Karaoke Party

Ed [@awkward-poe ] - Most Likely to Get Depressed Over a Joke

@awkward-gogol - Most Likely to Warn Everyone (AND I MEAN EVERYONE) About Nonexistent Clowns

[@awkward-gin] - Most Likely to Never Set Up Their Blog

@awkward-tanizaki - Most Likely to Make Self-deprecating jokes

Bex [@awkward-kouyou] - Most Likely to Become a Good Mom

@awkward-lucy - Most Likely to be Thicc

Kit [@awkward-odasaku] - Most Likely to Wake the Dead

@awkward-katai  - Most Likely to Get Stuck in a Fandom War and just wants out (send help)

@awkward-fukuzawa  - Most likely to cry over fallen toast

@awkward-karl - Most likely to come with the right raccoon stuff

[@awkward-steinbeck] - Most Likely to Convert you to Shipping Steincraft

@awkward-twain  - Most Likely to Actually Understand Japanese

[@awkward-alcott] - Most Likely to lurk forever

Higuchi [@awkward-higuchi] - Most likely to become a deity, saint, and pure being

[@awkward-hawthorne] - Most Likely to Slap People for Their Kinks

[@awkward-fitzgerald] - Most likely to get married to an old guy because he’s a “sugar daddy”

@awkward-rashomon - Most Likely to be Openly on the “Kinky” side of P**nhub. 

@awkward-oguri  - Most Likely to be down to trade pokemon

@awkward–sigma - Most Likely to Get Bullied About Their Ugly Pubic like Hair for the Rest of Their Lives

[@awkwardtachihara ] - Most Likely to be on par with Rasho but on the more “regular” side of things

[@awkwardtetchoo ] - Most Likely to Fight You

Martha [@awkward-mori] - Most Likely to Make the Best Edits

[elitexfourxlucian-archive]

Salty Ask List 1,3,5,6,8,9,11,19,20,21,22,26.27

Salt Meme: Accepting!

This is gonna be long, so it’s going under the cut!

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

((Honestly not a whole lot come to mind, because I can understand why people would ship them, or come up with reasons why they would.))

Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

((Nah. Like unless it was racist or phobic or something like that I would, but otherwise no. People are entitled to their opinions; just be respectful about them. Plus I’m too old to unfollow people over something like shipping discourse or whatever other things go down in fandoms these days.

Basically, if you’re not being a bigot or being rude af, or engaging in anything illegal, you do you.))

Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

((It has in a few of my past fandoms, whether it was through ship dynamics or discourse, or sometimes people themselves.))

Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

((I don’t have any specifics on hand, but yes! Most times it wasn’t that I hated the pairing, but rather it was never an option to me until I read fics, saw fanart, and saw other people’s rp’s. If it’s portrayed well and is interesting, I can get hooked.))

Have you received anon hate? What about?*

((I once received anon hate about an ooc psa I had for another blog of mine, but I deleted it because it was petty af and someone was obviously trying to start stuff because they live for drama and have no life. I’m not about feeding trolls anymore.

If your whole live revolves around causing or starting drama, especially by sending anon hate, you need to go outside more, or pet a puppy or something. Life is too short to start stuff with strangers on the internet.))

Most disliked character(s)? Why?

((I tend to not hate characters as a general rule, though there are some, like Mori from BSD that I’m not fond of.

While I can see Mori being an interesting character for how he thinks, and I can see why people like him in that respect (I mean his logic process is up there with Fyodor and Dazai when it comes to strategy and stuff) the fact that he’s into little girls is a huge turnoff for me. I just can’t do it.))

Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

((Not really? The characters I like are liked by others, even though it seems that Guild fans are a minority.

I’m also growing fond of the Hunting Dogs and want to know more about them.))

What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

((Compared to some others I’ve been in, this fandom seems pretty chill and nothing comes to mind? Then again I’m still new here so that could change.))

What is the purest ship in the fandom?

((Since we’re talking BSD I don’t think there are any truly ‘pure’ ships; though if I had to make suggestions, I would go with RanPoe and HawMitch, because I’m biased.))

What are your thoughts on crack ships?

((As long as it’s not incest or pedophilia, or the age gap is too large (like anything ten years or over), I’m game. Hit me with your crack ships! I live for crack ships.))

Popular character you hate?

((I don’t have any for BSD.))

Most shippable character?

((I have no idea tbh.))

Least shippable character?

((Honestly it would be a tie between Hirotsu and Herman given their ages, as far as romantic ships go. They would have a fair amount of platonic and family ships, though!))

[abyssent]

There’s something I’ve been mulling over a lot regarding Chuuya and his character. At first glance, one could call him emotional—and he is, but not in the way a typical person might be. He’s got one hell of a temper, and he’s got quite the prideful, arrogant ego, especially when it comes to fighting. But aside from anger, pride, and those confident smiles he loves to flash, he doesn’t show much else unless it’s internalized and filtered back out through that same anger, pride, or both.

The night he found out Dazai was gone from the Port Mafia, he downed a whole bottle of insanely expensive wine all by himself and claimed it was purely out of celebration. 

^ His expression when he says this is questionable—one might call it nonchalant, but it could also be a glimpse of pain hidden by otherwise casual sass. Then there’s the moment Mori asks him about how many members they’ve lost, and Chuuya has taken his hat off to show his respect to the dead, but the first words out of his mouth that form his answer are “It irks (or ‘upsets,’ depending on the translation) me, but...” 

The last example I’ll cite (for now?) is the moment that Dazai has an opportunity to kill Q. Chuuya has orders to bring Q back alive, but he tells Dazai to “do it,” saying that he’d be unable to stop Dazai anyway given the distance between them, and he mentions the sight of seeing many of his subordinates cursed and in body bags because of Q’s curse. The look on his face is a hard stare that pretty much says he wouldn’t mind being the one to hold his knife near Q’s throat instead of Dazai, regardless of his orders.

Basically, he never hides his anger or confidence, but when it comes to things like sadness, regret, or longing, he has never purely, outwardly shown such emotions before. Missing a certain someone? He drinks away his sorrows and buries them, then later lashes out as soon as he gets the chance. Mourning his subordinates? He’s ready to cut the person responsible for their death. 

He doesn’t cry; he gets even instead. 

And when it comes to showing love and affection? Unless it’s familial affection for the older sister figure he sees in Kouyou...hoo boy, someone help this man because he simply doesn’t know what it is to really feel romantic (or even platonic, non-familial) love. I’m not trying to say he’s incapable of it by any means. He’s entirely capable of loving someone, but even if he does love someone, he won’t realize that’s what it is right away. He won’t label his feelings as “love” until someone either spells it out for him or he’ll take an extremely long time to realize it on his own. He’ll care for the other person, worry about them if they’re hurt or sick, and miss them to the point of making himself excessively grumpy when he’s not with them, but the minute he starts associating those feelings with love, he’ll need a chance to process that. This is especially true since much of that worry and longing would be outwardly expressed in the form of him having an even shorter temper than usual. 

I could honestly write plenty more on why Chuuya is this way, but this post is already pretty long so I’ll stop here for now and write more later if people are interested.

tl;dr, Chuuya represses almost every emotion but pride and anger and needs someone to show him some love. 

[chuuyrr]

I have an angst request for for baby fushihrio!reader( I honestly don’t know how to spell it so sorry) when she saw some TikTok’s and post abt akugawa and dazai when he use to be a port mafia member and how badly he treated him and I wanted to see how reader would react and how they would respond to Dazai. ( and maybe give akutgawa so comfort your choice) and yeha that’s all just a req don’t mind me-!❤️

scarlet witch! baby fushiguro! reader finds out about dazai's past

jujutsu kaisen x reader x bungou stray dogs

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): major spoilers for bungou stray dogs (dark era), multiverse of madness is referenced, major themes of angst, mentions of abuse (dazai to akutagawa), no comfort(?)

╰➤ PAIRING(s): platonic! bungou stray dogs x child! reader (dazai osamu, akutagawa ryunosuke, oda sakunosuke, etc.)

i changed the scenario and made it extra angsty for tears!

you never fully comprehended why akutagawa despised you. every time you went to port mafia, mostly to see chuuya and play with elise-chan, he wouldn't say anything and would just gently yank you away with rashomon, even if you hugged and clung to him, his thoughts, which you could read and hear, were filled with nothing but resentment towards you, which was sad, but you were also perplexed because you liked him.

so, why did he hate you?

you learned to ignore it, but eventually you couldn't. you liked akutagawa and adored him so much that you didn't want him to hate you or think poorly of you, so you approached him as usual, much to akutagawa's surprise, but you weren't clinging to him.

"...what do you want?" akutagawa's eyes narrowed as he cleared his throat, watching you shift and fidget quietly.

"why do you hate me?" you asked, almost nervously gulping as you fiddled with your fingers, your gaze fixed on your feet, as if you'd been reprimanded for doing something wrong.

"you're annoying, and i don't like brats like you..." akutagawa scoffed, averting his gaze away from you and folding his arms across his chest.

i don't even get what dazai-san sees in you.

when you heard what akutagawa was thinking, you looked up, your eyes widening. your surprised expression drew his attention back to you, and he blinked.

"what?" akutagawa asked gruffly.

"what dazai-nii sees in me?" you blurted out, your face turning from comfort to confusion. at that moment, akutagawa's eyes widened slightly, clearly puzzled. you just read his mind.

"tch, get out of my head, brat!" akutagawa snapped, his rashomon immediately acting up, black tendrils now in mid-air, ready to strike you, but you took a step back and raised both of your hands in the air.

"i-i'm sorry! i didn't mean to!" you apologized, "i just couldn't help but hear it, and i just wanted to understand you.."

"understand me? how could a brat like you understand anything?!" akutagawa's enraged voice echoed across the walls, sending shivers down your spine. "tch, if it's not that weretiger, it's you! it just had to be some kid like you. you're not even that special!"

as one of rashomon's tendrils darted towards you, you instinctively raised your hand, which was imbued with pure red psionics from your chaos magic.

despite the fact that you blocked it, the physical contact you made with akutagawa's ability, as well as the way your overwhelming emotions were amplifying your abilities, had activated your mind-reading ability as a witch once more, but this time it went deeper.

even though it was only a few seconds in real time, your chaos magic made you feel as if you were inside akutagawa's past, reliving the dark memory.

there you saw dazai, but he was younger, about your older brother's age, megumi, and instead of brighter clothes, he was dressed in a black coat with a white button-up and a black tie, and bandages covered his eye, not just his arms and neck, and something about this dazai in akutagawa's mind was just unsettling.

the scene that followed, on the other hand, terrified you. you stood there in the dark, completely frozen, watching dazai hit akutagawa with his bare fist, and to take aim with a gun and fire at akutagawa.

akutagawa would have been shot dead if it hadn't been for his rashomon protecting him.

you quickly returned to reality, not wanting to see any more scenes of dazai behaving in such a way toward akutagawa. as rashomon retreated back to akutagawa, you took a step back, lowering your hand, your hands and knees felt clammy as you looked up to akutagawa, who was confused, and perhaps a little concerned this time, as to why your gaze was teary-eyed, on the verge of crying.

shit. mentally, akutagawa cursed himself. he really didn't mean to snap at you like that, nor did he mean to make you cry.

"h-how could he do that to you?" as you fought back tears, your lips trembled. everything now makes perfect sense, "how could dazai-nii do that to you? y-you didn't deserve that.."

akutagawa bit the inside of his cheek with his lips pursed into a thin line. how unusual of you. he honestly expected you to be angry or upset with him for threatening you, but instead you're crying because of how your precious dazai-nii used to treat him in the past.

"i don't need your sympathy," akutagawa exhaled sharply, his eyes narrowing slightly as he looked at you, "so stop crying for nothing..."

"but you didn't deserve any of that.." your lips trembled as you fought back the tears welling in your eyes with all your strength, not wanting to cry, "you're already more than enough, aku-nii.."

"i-i said i don't need your sympathy, so shut up," akutagawa resisted, but couldn't help but bite back harshly in response to you, "a-and don't call me that! i'm not your damn older brother!"

you didn't say anything else, but instead ran up to him and hugged him, much to akutagawa's dismay and possibly embarrassment, tiny arms wrapping tightly around his waist as you buried your face onto his stomach.

your embrace wasn't the typical clingy kind; it was genuine—truly meant to comfort.

akutagawa looked down at you, trying to think of something to say, but all he could do was stare with his mouth agape, and he couldn't even get rashomon to threaten you again this time.

he sighed deeply and picked you up, letting you cling to him with your tiny arms around his neck and awkwardly rubbed shapes on your back in an attempt to calm you down as you silently cried, unable to hold back your tears any longer.

your words of sympathy and sincerity felt so foreign to him because he was so used to hearing dazai's words and receiving his harsh treatment, but in all honesty, it wasn't bad getting something like this once in a while.

you started avoiding dazai after learning how he used to be. you would rather go to port mafia than the armed detective agency, which surprised mori, but he was ecstatic because it meant that his chances of stealing you from the armed detective agency and using you for your scarlet witch abilities had increased.

but you couldn't get rid of the memories you saw in akutagawa's head. of course, you were aware that he was a former port mafia member. you learned that from oda sakunosuke's ghost before he passed away, but you just didn't think dazai was that kind of person.

you couldn't recognize him, and you couldn't help but wonder how that port mafia dazai was the same dazai you were with. was it only a matter of time before dazai hurt you as he did akutagawa? or is it just because you're the scarlet witch that he doesn't hurt you?

it scared you while also making you angry.

wasn't he supposed to be like your adoptive father, gojo?

perhaps the answer to your question was simply that you overlooked the fact that dazai was never a good person to begin with, which made everything at odds with your heart and mind, a difficult pill to swallow.

atsushi noticed you while he was with kunikida and dazai, you were out in public with chuuya, who had been granted permission by mori to take the day off and spend time with you.

"isn't that [name]-chan..?" when atsushi pointed at you, dazai's face lit up.

dazai had been moping for a few days because you hadn't visited any of them, let alone him. so, when he saw you, he couldn't help but run towards you, only to come to a halt when he realized you were with chuuya.

"[name]-chan! what are you doing with this... shrimp?" dazai exclaimed, narrowing his eyes slightly the presence of the mafioso, prompting the two of you to turn around and see him, as well as atsushi and kunikida.

"the hell you starting vagabond?!" a nerve protuded on chuuya's temple at dazai's remark.

"tch, nevermind you shrimp, i'm not here for you," dazai dismissed chuuya, turning to you, opening his arms and smiling, "[name]-chan! i've been looking for you! ugh, to think you were with this shrimp here!"

instead of running up to dazai for a hug, you ran towards kunikida, clinging to his pant leg, who, along with atsushi and chuuya, let out a baffled noise, as a flash of dazai from akutagawa's memory appeared before your eyes, and it scared you.

"[name]-chan?!" dazai exclaimed softly in betrayal, staring at you in complete perplexity.

"looks like [name] had finally grown tired of you," chuuya chuckled softly, biting back a grin.

"shut up! [name]-chan would never!" scoffed dazai before returning your gaze with a smile.

"w-why is she clinging to me?" kunikida looked down at you, puzzled, his body stiff and frozen from the way you were holding onto him. you've never clung to him like this before. kunikida could almost feel you trembling.

it's as if you were scared of something, and it is.

"what's wrong?" he asked, placing a hand on the top of your head, "y-you're trembling, kid.."

"she's trembling?" dazai, chuuya and atsushi chorused in unison.

"oi, kid, why didn't you tell me you were freezing this whole time?" chuuya began as he slipped off his cropped jacket to give to you when dazai darted towards you, already holding his brown coat to wrap you in, "AGH! BASTARD!"

"here, bella~ you can have my coat instead of chuuya's!" dazai exclaimed with a toothy grin.

you quickly released kunikida's pant leg before dazai could approach you with his coat. your [color] eyes glowed red as you expelled a small repulsive force of your red psionics, causing them to jump in surprise.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" you cried out.

chuuya, dazai, kunikida, and atsushi, as well as passers-by, gave you incredulous looks, "[name]-chan?" "kid?"

"[name]-chan, what's wrong?" dazai looked at you with concern, cautiously approaching you as if he were a scared stray cat or dog.

your lips trembled for a moment before you yelled again, breaking down in tears as you clenched your fists tightly, "I HATE YOU!"

dazai trembled the moment he heard those words leave your mouth, and the way you looked at him, those glowing red eyes that were usually filled with warmth and joy whenever you saw him, struck him hard. you ran as his eyes widened and his body froze like a statue from shock.

"[name]-chan! watch out!" atsushi yelled, nearly dying from stress after nearly being hit by a car only for your red psionics to push it out of your way, "wait up! [name]-chan!"

"what the fuck did you do to the kid?" chuuya asked angrily, now grabbing the collar of his shirt, "what was that, huh?!"

"i don't know.." dazai replied in a small murmur, his eyes bearing a genuine frown, prompting chuuya to release his collar.

it didn't take long for them to start chasing after you, and it was a wild ride. they instantly lost sight of you. it was difficult because your chaos magic allowed you to reappear and appear.

fortunately, with wits to rival ranpo's, dazai was quick to find you, and much to his surprise, and as heartbreaking as the sight was, he discovered you in odasaku's grave. you were curled up against the gravestone, your knees tucked in between your arms, crying silently beneath the shade of the tree.

"[name]-chan!" dazai exclaimed, relieved to see you well but heartbroken to see you crying in such a place.

when you heard his voice, you instantly flinched. you got back up on your feet and prepared to run off again.

"hey now, don't go. why are you acting this way?" dazai stepped in front of you, blocking your path, "[name]-chan, what's wrong?"

"i hate you! get away from me!" you cried out.

"[name]..? what are you saying? why—" dazai was immediately cut off by your next words.

"you're a bad person! you hurt aku-nii! you're nothing like my daddy at all! he would never hurt anyone, but you.. you did."

what did you just say?

how did you know that?

dazai found himself subconsciously clenching his fists, trembling fists. he made certain that he never told you anything about it unless, but knowing the kid, akutagawa's not the type to tell, so dazai was quick to deduce that you read akutagawa's memories with your chaos magic, and it only makes sense as to why you were with chuuya, and staying away from the armed detective agency, away from him.

dazai approached you again to get you, and this time he wasn't even cautious. please, he can't let you go, "[name]-chan, stop that.."

"no! no!" you resisted, shaking your head and swatting away his hands when they got too close, "i'm not going with you! stay away!"

"[name], listen to me. i'm not going to hurt you. let's talk about it. come on, now," his patience was wearing thin as you continued to pry away from him, constantly swatting him away, but you slapping his hands was the final straw.

"[NAME], I TOLD YOU TO STOP THAT!" dazai yelled in an earsplitting volume as you slapped his hands away, causing you to flinch in fear, his large hands now tightly grasping your arms.

when dazai raised his voice at you and clenched his fists, your eyes widened, easily the tables turning on you. there it was. the dazai you've been fearing and seeing from akutagawa's memory of the past. a horrible shiver ran down your spine as you noticed an angry dark glaze over his eyes as he stared down at you.

it wasn't your dazai, it was a monster.

your lips trembled as another fresh set of hot tears filled your eyes, "p-please don't hurt me.."

fortunately, the look and sound of fear you made as you trembled in his grip seemed to have brought him back to reality.

when his grip on you loosened and you pressed your back against oda's gravestone with tears streaming down your cheeks, dazai immediately shook his head, his frightening mafia black blood charsima dissipating.

"..[name]-chan, i'm so sorry.. hey, now," dazai exclaimed sharply, realizing what he had done, "i would never hurt you.. you know that, right?"

"because i'm not aku-nii?" you asked in a sniffle.

dazai swallowed the lump that had formed on his throat. unfortunately, he had no answer to that question. slowly, dazai found his knees buckling to the ground, a hand to his heart as he inhaled sharply. you could see it in his face, and you could tell his heart was breaking. he simply raised his voice at you and almost hurt you, the last person he wanted to hurt.

who was he kidding? mori was right. the port mafia were right. his blood will forever be mafia-black. it runs in his veins. even if dazai had wiped his past clean somehow, the fact that it still happened meant that it was still there, and that it would always find a way back to haunt him in some way.

he will never outrun karma.

it's not you, who didn't deserve dazai.

it was him, who didn't deserve you at all.

dazai returned his gaze to you, a single tear rolling down his cheek and falling to the floor, only to see you open a red portal to leave and return to your world, and he could only think of one possibility: that this might be the last time he ever sees the little belladonna he adored.

"[name]-chan, please come back.. i'm sorry.."