#also trying out a new layout

[bloodlustknight]

Palpitations of the Heart

Miguel O'Hara x GN!Reader | WC 1.1k cw: description of panic attack (followed by comfort) Miguel helps you through a difficult time.

Thank you so much to my beta reader @hdmis you helped me so much with this!

It wasn't uncommon to find yourself here on long nights that followed an even longer day. Something about the darkness- its stillness- allowed your mind to wander. The quiet gave no barrier to the flood of unwanted thoughts that came with the night. Each one intrusive, pushing you further into that space where you're no longer in control. Suddenly it all hits you; stomach twisting, heart racing, your vision becomes hazy.

Before you realize it, you're reaching out for something, anything, to ground you. You try to focus your breath, each more shallow than the last. The thunder of your heart, intrusive as it pounds in your ears. You make for the door, needing to get away from this feeling, to just move. In your daze, you collide with something firm, the sensation stealing your attention for a moment.

"-heart." Your ears try to focus on the voice, head bowed. 

"Sweetheart. I'm right here." He waits to touch you, watching to see if you're with him.

You reach out, taking his forearm to brace yourself. This was a bad one. It felt as though everything around you was phasing out.

"I'm not going anywhere." He murmurs as he looks down. Your fingers curled tight around his wrist, locked in an iron grip.

"Everything's gonna be alright." He reassures, voice measured as to not give away his concern. Miguel was no stranger to anxiety, that feeling that everything could come crashing down at a moment's notice, you had that in common. Though it was hard for you to let him in, with time he learned more, understood better, and tried his best to be someone you could come to when things were dreadful.

You're brought out of your thoughts as you feel muscles tense beneath your grip.

"I'm so sorry-" you partially manage as your hands release him, but your apology is cut short by two weighty arms wrapping themselves around you. Shaky breaths leave your body as your heart booms against your ribcage.

"Can you breathe with me?" Miguel asks as calloused hands rub the sides of your arms. Your only response is a deep exhale, an attempt at gaining some control.

"Okay, with me now." He looks you over, the way your eyes screw shut, how your breath rakes through your body, you are trying your best. Miguel guides you, taking note that you're only able to last half way through his instructions before your sucking in another breath.

"You're doing so well." He reassures, voice horse, giving away the fact he had been sleeping not long before finding you. His hands leave your sides, giving you space. After a few attempts you're able to breathe alongside him, gaining some stability.

Watching as his chest rose and fell in time with your own. You were grateful that your breath was under control, but the horrible feeling of dread hadn't subsided. It made you feel so meek. Mind continuing to fill with intrusive thoughts, you reach forward to place a hand on Miguel's chest. That's when the tears came.

A surprised look comes over Miguel, but soon after, his hands move to your back as he presses you against his sternum. Your hands clasped against your chest as you shudder into the crook of his neck. As your cries rake through your body, Miguel's hand cradles the back of your head, his other rubbing soothing circles onto your back.

"It's alright love, let it all out," He consoles with quiet empathy. Concern laced across his furrowed brow, throat tight as he repeats his reassurance, he worries for you. He's learned that in times like these, the best thing he could do is this. Be here.

His thumb rubbed small circles behind your ear as he held you. He could tell you were coming down, sobs replaced with sniffles. Slowly, you lift your face from his shoulder, snot following. Eyes growing wide as you realize how soaked his shirt had gotten.

"m' sorry I got you all…" you barely manage, your throat strained after all that had happened. Then your weight shifts. Miguel reaches forward, cupping your face.

"Don't worry about it." He says, pressing his forehead against yours. You suddenly feel hot, embarrassed by the thought of the snot and tears covering your face and now potentially his.

"Wait, I don't want to get you dirty, let me-" your cut short by Miguel taking the hem of his shirt and bringing it up to your nose.

"Here, blow." He offers.

"What- I'm not a kid come on." You laugh at his offer nugging his hand.

"I know, but you still got a little..." he cracks a sheepish smile.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!" You groan, taking the hem of his shirt from his hands and giving it one good blow. 

"There. Happy?" You look up, only to be met by Miguel's stifled laughter.

"I am." He says as he plants a kiss on the top of your forehead. You try and fight back a smile, but you can't help it.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, taking your hand in his, concern still filling his eyes.

"Could we sit here a little longer, maybe later..." you bury your head beneath his chin, placing your hands at his sides.

"Of course." He says, wrapping his arms around you.

You both stay like that well into the night, sharing laughs and a few more tears as your anxieties slowly drift away.

You're lying with your cheek pressed against Miguel's chest when you hear a rumble. Leaning back you find his lips parted as another snore escapes them. A smile pulls at your lips; you carefully attempt to stand, wanting to grab a blanket for the both of you. Your movement halted, as an arm wraps its way around your back. You look up, warm brown eyes meet your own, his lids heavy with sleep.

"Where are you going?" Miguel grumbles out, letting his eyes close once more. You could see just how exhausted he was. The floor of your living room wasn't the best place to call it a night.

"Lets go to bed Miggy" you whisper, hoping he won't protest. With some grumbles and a few groans, you both stand and carefully make your way to the bedroom. Once you're under the covers, Miguel pulls you to himself, your back meeting his sternum as warm arms hold you in place. His breathing was soft and slow, already having fallen back asleep.

Slowly you settle in, listening to his breath, finding comfort in his chest's rhythmic rise and fall. You soon follow Miguel, drifting off to sleep.

[24601orwhatever]

WILL CALLAN as MARIUS PONTMERCY

a heart full of love 📷 : @callmelasagna

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Season 3 » Casual Sweaters/Jumpers

[messrmoonyy]

- of smoking and dancing

Tess servopoulos x reader

Request- I know smoking is bad but seeing gifs of Anna smoking made me desperate to see Tess smoking it’s so hot somehow 😭😭 flirting and sharing a pack? Ahhhhhhh! ‘ combined with a bunch of requests for some kind of fluffy follow up to this drabble here

Warnings- I guess slightly ooc Tess. Shes a little awkward. A little soft. ( WC- 2.2k )

A/N- don’t smoke kids lmao. I really didn’t feel like posting this tbh. Some of my tess readers have been VILE in my ask box lately. Pls remember I am a human being. And not a word machine ready to churn out fic as you demand it.

Tess masterlist

“ you are a hard woman to find “ Tess tensed slightly as you spoke behind her, her hand loitering a little awkwardly half raised between her mouth and her side, cigarette balancing between her fingers. She collected herself quickly, bringing it back to her lips.

“ maybe you just don’t look hard enough “ that made you laugh a little, the small quiet kind meant to be shared between two people only. The kind that meant you weren’t trying to draw attention.

In all honesty she liked to think she was a little hard to find. Prided herself on her ability to go unnoticed when she chose it, slip around and keep herself to herself. She didn’t like company much. Not really. Yours though… she didn’t mind that. On the times she allowed herself to have it.

“ didn’t know you smoked “ you mused moving to stand beside her, tucking yourself into the shadowed spot behind the Bison that Tess had secluded herself to. She’d only left her house in the first place because Joel had asked, making stupid comments about you as he did. Acting like some burly Texan Cupid. Ass. But she had slipped away as soon as she’d seen the opportunity to. Not that she’d gone very far.

She didn’t quite know why she hadn’t just gone home. Or maybe she did. Maybe she knew exactly why she had chosen to hang around a little. Smoke the pack of cigarettes she’d been slowly making her way though since she’d found them. As if by some miracle they’d make her pluck up the courage to well… do something.

“ I don’t “ she didn’t. Not really. It’d never been her thing. She preferred the burning warmth of liquor than smoke. But she wanted an excuse to be outside and not look like some creeper loitering in the dark. And maybe they didn’t have the stress relieving factor of a glass of god knows what Tommy had been brewing. But they did have a little. And didn’t come with a free headache.

“ funny that… can I? “ Tess shrugged, half expecting to see you reach out and take it from her hand. But instead your leant forward a little, lips parting slightly in a way that made Tess’ skin flush. She placed it between your lips and watched you smile as you leant back, taking it from her fingers “ smokings so gross “ you sighed, blowing out a steady cloud of smoke “ specially these. How fucking old are they? “

“ I’m not forcing you to take the damn thing “ that made you smile again, tipping your head to the side to watch her light up another “ also… I don’t know. Found them in a house in the town by the creek trails “ you hummed a response, nose crinkling a little as you blew out some smoke and turned your wrist to look at the stale thing in between your fingers.

“ why you hiding away out here anyway? “ Tess shrugged leaning her arms down on the fence in front of her. You moved to stand beside her and she knew you were looking down at her without even needing to see your face. Could feel it.

“ just wanted some air “

“ sure “ you scoffed, holding your hand out over the fence to tap away the ash “ I always see you you know. How you turn up at these stupid things, hang around a little then slip away “ Tess shrugged again, glancing up at you. You flicked away your cigarette half smoked and turned to lean back against the fence, something clearly going on inside your mind that she could not figure out yet.

“ I don’t really like crowds “

“ I figured that much “ you said with a smile, glancing back down at her again in a way that made Tess’ skin flush “ you might like it if you involved yourself a little. Even just danced some “ it was Tess’ turn to scoff and she too tossed her cigarette and straightened herself out, resting her hip against the wood.

“ I don’t dance “

“ so you won’t dance with me? “ it was the first time you’d asked since she’d rejected you the last time. In the months in between you hadn’t seemed deterred by it. Had taken it on and acted as if it had never happened, continuing to try spend time with her and Tess had been trying her best not to push you away.

In fact she had been trying her hardest to actively try and be… friends. But sometimes those weird hopeful feelings would surface within her and she terrified herself. Would take two steps back from the one step she had taken forward. Not that you ever seemed particularly put off by it.

She still hadn’t answered you and gave a small sigh.

“ one dance. And if you absolutely hate it then you can run off back out here, hide away in the dark like some little cave troll and smoke your stale ass cigarettes and I’ll leave you to it “ the smile on your face as she spoke had her mind made up before she could even truly decide that she did or did not want to go back inside.

“ one “ you beamed at her as she said, truly a utter ray of sunshine on her moody and miserable self.

She tucked her cigarettes and matches down into her jean pockets and followed you back inside. As the night was wearing on it seemed a little less crowded than when she had first arrived, which she liked. Less people to look at her. Less people to talk.

Though Joel and Ellie clocked her the moment she stepped back inside, Joel looking incredibly smug watching you grab a hold of her hand and lead her out into the empty space that was serving as a dance area.

“ I think- “

“ don’t back out on me now Tess “ you said in a challenging tone, smile so cheeky she wanted to kiss it right off of you. And wasn’t that one of those terrible two steps back kind of thoughts.

“ I don’t know the steps “

“ no one knows the steps you just.. go with it. Just hold my hand I got you “ but before you could so much as twirl around the music switched from the previous upbeat song, to something slower. Her eyes darted over to where the music was coming from and she narrowed her eyes in annoyance.

Her eyes found Maria who looked incredibly proud of herself, even with Tess giving her a glare that could kill the woman she was sure. She froze as your arms looped around her neck, eyes leaving Maria to look at you instead.

“ this is better, no steps to this kinda song “ she felt like an awkward teenage boy at his first school dance, with no idea how to even look at a girl never mind dance with one.

But it felt nice. To have you holding onto her like that, standing so close there was barely an inch between the two of your bodies. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around your waist and you smiled.

“ see “ you said “ easy “ she could feel Maria’s eyes on her. Joel’s. Ellie’s. But it almost didn’t annoy her as much as it had at first. Because of the way you were looking up at her, the at you were so close together she could smell the shampoo you used. She was hyper aware of every part of your bodies that touched, skin burning and prickling at the sensation.

“ I don’t think you can class this as dancing “ you laughed a little and shrugged.

“ hmm maybe not. But it’s nice right? “ you were talking softly, directly to her and not for the prying eyes or ears of anyone around you.

She mulled over the question. Of course it was nice. It was beyond nice. It was what she had spent months pining for and moping around about. Hating herself for wanting you close and hating herself for how far she seemed to be from the woman back in Boston she had shaped herself into.

“ it’s nice “ you smiled warmly, arms tightening a little around her.

“ you’re doing me a favour too you know. Some guy from farming rotation? Been asking me to dance all night. Think he’ll get the picture now “ that made her chest tighten a little. Some stupid worry that, had you only asked her to dance to scare off some guy? “ I only really wanted to dance with you though “ you said silencing her fears before she could ever even dream to make them vocal.

The slow songs continued to play. And you both stayed there in that gentle swaying embrace, occasionally speaking about random things and fess listening diligently to everything you had to say to her. Eventually the crowd grew bored, demanding something a little more upbeat. And as much as Tess hadn’t particularly wanted to be there with you at first, she now didn’t want it to end. But unfortunately it had to.

You sighed as the song changed, taking a step back from her and rolling your eyes. Tess felt awkward again. And annoyed at herself for feeling awkward. She was ready to flee back outside and hide but you took her hand.

“ do you wanna go get some air? “ you asked her. She wondered if you sensed her discomfort, could feel the heat radiating off her “ kinda hot in here huh? “

“ yeah “

It was chilly outside. The temperature having dropped a lot since she had gone inside with you. But it was a nice contrast on her overheated skin, a nice break from the noise too. There were a few people lingering around, a few kids running around and playing with sticks as if they were swords. It made her smile.

“ I love being outside at night“ you mused, sitting yourself down on one of the benches outside. She slotted herself in beside you, chill escaping her as you shuffled close to her “ pretty. Calm “ Tess noticed you still hadn’t let go of her hand that you had grabbed to lead her back outside

Tess said nothing. Instead tried to internally process the entire situation. The night as a whole. How much she had enjoyed allowing herself to be in your company.

“ oh oh look. See him over there? That’s the one I told you about “ you said and nudged her with your shoulder, nodding over to a man leaving the bison looking a little worse for wear.

“ he seems… nice “ you laughed at that and snuggled a little closer to Tess “ you cold? “

“ hmm little “ she hesitated for a moment before freeing the arm trapped between you both and looping it around your shoulders. She felt you physically relax against her, sighing softly. The feelings were creeping again. And the fear that came alongside them. The fear of being vulnerable. Of letting someone in.

“ so you don’t. You don’t like him? “ she spoke in some attempt to derail her thought process.

“ I don’t like him “ you said immediately, not even a second thought “ I like someone else “ her chest hurt. A pang deep down that she couldn’t ignore if she tried.

And she hated it. She hated it so much. That she had allowed herself to feel. To strip back the layers of scary Boston Tess, leave herself some silly little crush and let herself be vulnerable.

“ I’m sure they’re very lucky “ she practically whispered.

“ they don’t even realise “

You turned your head slightly, cold nose brushing against her neck. She suddenly felt warm again. An anxious warmth radiating from her chest in a way she was unfamiliar with. Her old self would be laughing at her.

“ have you told them “ she felt you smile, felt the way your cheeks lifted and a small laugh vibrated past your lips.

“ the signs are obvious “ your face lifted from her neck and was suddenly incredibly close to hers. She licked her lips nervously. She wanted to kiss you. God did she want to kiss you. Old Tess would’ve. Old Tess would’ve kissed you months ago.

But that wasn’t her anymore. This was her. Sat with her arms around a girl that she liked. But didn’t like her. She was a fool. Really she was.

“ you’re a very smart woman Tess “ you started, voice low. Soft “ But fuck you’re oblivious as hell sometimes “ and then your lips were against hers, kissing her softly but with a quiet determination. She froze at first, unsure on how to react. But then she was kissing you back, hand reaching up to cup your cheek. Your hand twisted into the collar of her sweater like you didn’t want her to let go.

And she didn’t plan on it. Kissing you softly, slowly, savouring every single moment in case you decided you regretted it and she’d never get to kiss you again.

It seemed to last forever, so sensual and slow and she forgot where she was. Forgot about everything other than how incredible it felt to kiss you, to feel your cold hands in the collar of her sweater. To feel your cheeks flush with warmth under her fingers. She could taste the smoke, smell the fruitiness of your hair, the softness of your skin.

She didn’t want it to end. Didn’t want to stop.

But all good things must eventually come to an end.

When you did finally pull away it was barely a few centimetres, brushing your nose against hers before pressing your foreheads together. Her thumb was brushing softly across your cheekbone, reluctant to let you go.

“ you should’ve let me do that a long time ago “ you whispered, a smile tugging at your lips.

“ maybe I should’ve “

[raiiny-bay]

new character page wip

[warcrimesimulator]

Toyhouse's community may be terminally stuck in 2013 era Tumblr but it still manages to be the best character/OC storage site. It allows html profile customization and doesn't look like a mobile app so that's already a massive W.

[medievalthymes]

i haven't used desktop in like two months can someone pLEASE explain to me why theres a creepy clown/pirate that follows me down my dash as i scroll because i hate it

[531]

BEDE: reblog and credit if using / saving.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent game related things .. hrmm...

[love-fireflysong]

'man I'm so tired from that Metallica concert on Sunday I really should rest to try and recover both physically and mentally' I say as though I'm not practically vibrating in excitement cause I can't wait to build the Ikea wardrobe that was just delivered only this morning fhdjskshs

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

..filing this under projects that totally are Not getting out of hand

[sunflowersandscreams]

strawberry shortcake au <3 happy late birthday nico di angelo <3

Summary:Will had travelled a lot in his life. He’d been all over the country, towing along his trailer with a fully stocked supply of medical equipment for both people and animals, but Will had decided it was time to find somewhere a little more permanent. Spreading in front of him as he came over Hollyhock Hill was Berryville, with sprawling strawberry fields and highly decorated buildings dotting the countryside town.“Home,” Percy said, driving the truck that was contained all of Will’s belongings and was also towing his medical trailer. “Or, my home. Soon to be your home, too.”Will smiled. “Neat. It’s good to meet people in the area so quickly.”“Yeah, there aren’t many of us out here, so you’re bound to meet everyone within a week. Well, maybe not everyone.” Percy laughed to himself. “Some of us are more secluded than others.”

[weevilwizard]

does anyone else have feelings about when discord changed their wording in ui text from describing servers as “private” to “invite-only” or am i overthinking this

[danielnelsen]

oh when was someone gonna tell me that you can download the source files for dao level layouts and face morphs (:

[ult-hongs]

「널 꽉 안아 놓지 않을게, 늘 니 옆에 있어 줄게」

Version 2 of Seventeen and Carats’ colors is finally here! (and just in time for comeback day hehe~) Take the hint and do that too, h*be ( •̀ω•́ )σ

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⚠️ disclaimer ⚠️

[ponett]

i get the point of the polls informally showing that the vast majority of tumblr users have been here for years and barely anyone is new. the problem is that the suits don't look at that kind of data and go "ah, we understand. the majority of our users are oldheads who want things to stay the same. we misunderstood our audience." they absolutely have hard numbers on these things. they surely know most active users have been here forever. but they look at these stats and go "wow, our growth rate really IS shit. we're still relying on an ever-dwindling pool of users who have been here since they were teenagers in the early 2010s. we need to be working even harder to make this place appeal to new users"

the higher ups and investors on sites like this want infinite growth forever. this is why they keep changing the layout to make it look like other, more popular sites, even though we hate it. this is why they try out shit like tumblr live that doesn't appeal to the established core userbase in the slightest. it's not for us. it's also not for the ~5% of active users (if the poll going around is to be believed) who signed up within the last year. no, they're chasing after the hundreds of millions of people who use twitter and the BILLIONS of people who use tiktok, hoping to appeal to them and make tumblr more popular again

this is, of course, deeply stupid. nobody is leaving tiktok to hop on tumblr live. they already have tiktok. and we're on tumblr because we like tumblr, not because we want it to morph into something else. but i'm sure automattic's got venture capital investors breathing down their necks going "why isn't tumblr more like twitter or tiktok or facebook or instagram or" etc. etc., and so here we are