#im trans so i always imagine things with that as the default but this is a gn reader fic!!

[bloodlustknight]

Palpitations of the Heart

Miguel O'Hara x GN!Reader | WC 1.1k cw: description of panic attack (followed by comfort) Miguel helps you through a difficult time.

Thank you so much to my beta reader @hdmis you helped me so much with this!

It wasn't uncommon to find yourself here on long nights that followed an even longer day. Something about the darkness- its stillness- allowed your mind to wander. The quiet gave no barrier to the flood of unwanted thoughts that came with the night. Each one intrusive, pushing you further into that space where you're no longer in control. Suddenly it all hits you; stomach twisting, heart racing, your vision becomes hazy.

Before you realize it, you're reaching out for something, anything, to ground you. You try to focus your breath, each more shallow than the last. The thunder of your heart, intrusive as it pounds in your ears. You make for the door, needing to get away from this feeling, to just move. In your daze, you collide with something firm, the sensation stealing your attention for a moment.

"-heart." Your ears try to focus on the voice, head bowed. 

"Sweetheart. I'm right here." He waits to touch you, watching to see if you're with him.

You reach out, taking his forearm to brace yourself. This was a bad one. It felt as though everything around you was phasing out.

"I'm not going anywhere." He murmurs as he looks down. Your fingers curled tight around his wrist, locked in an iron grip.

"Everything's gonna be alright." He reassures, voice measured as to not give away his concern. Miguel was no stranger to anxiety, that feeling that everything could come crashing down at a moment's notice, you had that in common. Though it was hard for you to let him in, with time he learned more, understood better, and tried his best to be someone you could come to when things were dreadful.

You're brought out of your thoughts as you feel muscles tense beneath your grip.

"I'm so sorry-" you partially manage as your hands release him, but your apology is cut short by two weighty arms wrapping themselves around you. Shaky breaths leave your body as your heart booms against your ribcage.

"Can you breathe with me?" Miguel asks as calloused hands rub the sides of your arms. Your only response is a deep exhale, an attempt at gaining some control.

"Okay, with me now." He looks you over, the way your eyes screw shut, how your breath rakes through your body, you are trying your best. Miguel guides you, taking note that you're only able to last half way through his instructions before your sucking in another breath.

"You're doing so well." He reassures, voice horse, giving away the fact he had been sleeping not long before finding you. His hands leave your sides, giving you space. After a few attempts you're able to breathe alongside him, gaining some stability.

Watching as his chest rose and fell in time with your own. You were grateful that your breath was under control, but the horrible feeling of dread hadn't subsided. It made you feel so meek. Mind continuing to fill with intrusive thoughts, you reach forward to place a hand on Miguel's chest. That's when the tears came.

A surprised look comes over Miguel, but soon after, his hands move to your back as he presses you against his sternum. Your hands clasped against your chest as you shudder into the crook of his neck. As your cries rake through your body, Miguel's hand cradles the back of your head, his other rubbing soothing circles onto your back.

"It's alright love, let it all out," He consoles with quiet empathy. Concern laced across his furrowed brow, throat tight as he repeats his reassurance, he worries for you. He's learned that in times like these, the best thing he could do is this. Be here.

His thumb rubbed small circles behind your ear as he held you. He could tell you were coming down, sobs replaced with sniffles. Slowly, you lift your face from his shoulder, snot following. Eyes growing wide as you realize how soaked his shirt had gotten.

"m' sorry I got you all…" you barely manage, your throat strained after all that had happened. Then your weight shifts. Miguel reaches forward, cupping your face.

"Don't worry about it." He says, pressing his forehead against yours. You suddenly feel hot, embarrassed by the thought of the snot and tears covering your face and now potentially his.

"Wait, I don't want to get you dirty, let me-" your cut short by Miguel taking the hem of his shirt and bringing it up to your nose.

"Here, blow." He offers.

"What- I'm not a kid come on." You laugh at his offer nugging his hand.

"I know, but you still got a little..." he cracks a sheepish smile.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!" You groan, taking the hem of his shirt from his hands and giving it one good blow. 

"There. Happy?" You look up, only to be met by Miguel's stifled laughter.

"I am." He says as he plants a kiss on the top of your forehead. You try and fight back a smile, but you can't help it.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks, taking your hand in his, concern still filling his eyes.

"Could we sit here a little longer, maybe later..." you bury your head beneath his chin, placing your hands at his sides.

"Of course." He says, wrapping his arms around you.

You both stay like that well into the night, sharing laughs and a few more tears as your anxieties slowly drift away.

You're lying with your cheek pressed against Miguel's chest when you hear a rumble. Leaning back you find his lips parted as another snore escapes them. A smile pulls at your lips; you carefully attempt to stand, wanting to grab a blanket for the both of you. Your movement halted, as an arm wraps its way around your back. You look up, warm brown eyes meet your own, his lids heavy with sleep.

"Where are you going?" Miguel grumbles out, letting his eyes close once more. You could see just how exhausted he was. The floor of your living room wasn't the best place to call it a night.

"Lets go to bed Miggy" you whisper, hoping he won't protest. With some grumbles and a few groans, you both stand and carefully make your way to the bedroom. Once you're under the covers, Miguel pulls you to himself, your back meeting his sternum as warm arms hold you in place. His breathing was soft and slow, already having fallen back asleep.

Slowly you settle in, listening to his breath, finding comfort in his chest's rhythmic rise and fall. You soon follow Miguel, drifting off to sleep.

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.

[mamawasatesttube]

have any thoughts on transfem tim? 🙏

in all honesty i've been a little no thoughts head empty the past few days bc ive been sick but i'm certain if i wait longer to answer this i WILL forget about it. so. apologies in advance bsdhkjs

generally my tim is genderfluid transmasc (who goes so hard on being transmasc that he then has a second, later gender crisis over feeling dysphoric about being TOO masc and Not Fem Enough some days, and then has to figure out how to trans his gender back in the other direction a little bit, and is generally kind of bonkers about the entire thing because of the repression and the internalized issues etc etc.) so that's kinda my default for tim and gender.

HOWEVER i love and support transfem tim with my entire heart. firstly if you haven't read the @milfkon's transfem tim manifesto (you probably have if youre asking me about it i imagine but just in case) its essential reading i think. she says it all soooo well <3 i dont know that i even have anything to add. like. yeah!!!!! one of the girls. so fucking trueee

my personal fav flavor of a transfem tim is a very nonbinary one. (possibly bc im a very nonbinary fellow but yknow.) i always just think of tim as like... gender is a performance. presentation is a mask. it's something he can put on or take off and alter depending on the audience. which is to say, i think that a lot of things like vocab and pronouns are just like ... shrug yeah sure that's fine. and also i think he's always really private about it in general. feels literally no need to come out to anyone until it comes up, and even then, if and only if he Wants that person to know. so like, he has no real urge to change his name, is perfectly fine with he/him but also likes to be they/them or she/her'd, etc. doesn't care if people see "a woman" vs "a dude in a skirt" or something else entirely. it's not for anyone but himself (herself) (themself) anyways. bc he's already always so... Like That about how he's perceived by anyone outside himself, i think gender and presentation just slot into that whole distancing-and-compartmentalizing situation in there pretty neatly.

[hekateinhell]

Tell me abt preggers armand please. I have a fic im working on and need 2 hear other peoples opinions on this topic 😈

🥹🥹🥹

okay so first of all i'm so upset i didn't see this ask until i checked my askbox on my phone which i almost NEVER do anymore since i'm getting old and prefer to just answer things via laptop where i can keyboard smash at full capacity raw and unfiltered but like MY DMS ARE OPEN I'M NOT ALWAYS THE FASTEST RESPONDER BECAUSE I'M IN GRAD SCHOOL AND LIFE AND WHATEVER BUT I DON'T TRUST TUMBLR ANYMORE BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THIS UNTIL YESTERDAY ON DESKTOP TUMBLR PLS DON'T DEPRIVE ME OF MY PEOPLE

now that that's out of the way:

it depends! you have to be more specific, like are we talking vampires? human AU? BECAUSE I'VE GOT SOMETHING FOR EACH

canon verse/vampire:

don't ask me to explain the science or whatever lol i don't care, i just skip to the pregnancy part!

i think armand would be SO FUCKING FERAL and defensive, like he's lost so much and been so traumatized in so many ways, the idea of anything happening to his baby would have him in full gremlin mode. imagine a feral cat hissing and spitting and clawing and biting (not for food but for violence)!

on the other hand, he'd be obsessively bonded to his baby daddy (daddies, if there's multiple babies). he is not letting them out of his sight (i default to lestat here LMAO listen i want them to knock each other up so bad--separate universes obviously)

HE WOULD NEST SO FUCKING HARD!!! i was going to say i apologize for my brain but then i realized that i don't actually but i want him to nest on a pile of lestat's clothes and give birth right there like a fucking cat 🥹

ALTERNATIVELY THOUGH: i also had this idea that's like louis impregnates lestat and armand at the same time and they get to go through their pregnancies together and it's every bit as horny, hellish, and sweet as you'd imagine 🫶🏻 i've said it before and i'll say it again--lestat would be the WORST pregnant person ever dead or alive!!

now for human AUs:

i guess my thoughts here primarily but not exclusively exist within the same universe as I Feel You (sorry idk if you read that fic but tl;dr- IT'S PWP OF TRANS!ARMAND 2/3RDS OF THE WAY INTO GETTING A TRAIN RUN ON HIM BY HIS BOYFRIENDS LESTAT, LOUIS, AND DANIEL AND HE'S YOUNG DUMB AND FULL OF CUM SO YOU KNOW IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE HE'S GOTTA PEE ON A STICK RIP BOYS)

i think each of his boyfriends would handle the whole thing differently! lestat would be so over the moon because he's careless (clearly) but also so damaged from his own childhood he would just see it as a chance for a do-over, reality and responsibility be damned. lestat's on sex and backrub duty, and he's good at it (the backrubs i mean, sex is a 50/50 but you know what, at least he's enthusiastic and good at manhandling armand so that's 70% of it right now and the 30% is absolutely ridiculous horny pregnancy hormones)

louis panics internally as he immediately starts creating a spreadsheet of their finances. outwardly though, he's very calm and supportive and he's the one who's most able to comfort armand the most and settle him down during his crazy mood swings. armand basically lives in louis's baggy sweaters during the last trimester

daniel panics outwardly (listen LOL the whole premise of Our House is that human!daniel molloy is not ready for children and i find it hard to budge from that mindset, but he could ease into the Cool Uncle role quite nicely). he handles distractions and food cravings, and he might not be down to be a dad yet but he does buy very thoughtful and sentimental baby gifts every now and then that make armand tear up

i was gonna add mermaid AU thoughts but then i remembered armand's laying eggs instead (he's feral during that whole process too so i guess it's similar to the vampire version. i just love him so much okay!!!)

OH ONE LAST VERY IMPORTANT THING

pregnant!armand fics on ao3 I'M CRAZY ABOUT AND HAVE REREAD AT LEAST 10 TIMES:

shelter by @rainbowcarousels

it must be the clouds in my eyes and everything in that series by @its-ness-ness

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Personal post incoming weeoooo

Might.... do some more reading about PCOS being considered intersex (or ..intersex variation? Sorry im not familiar with terminology) because. Idk. Its.. neat? I know its not medically classified as such rn but i also know a growing amount of ppl W pcos consider themselves that way anyway bc fuck doctors dictating our lives when they barely understand our syndrome anyway.

And like, I remember the first time i heard about the idea that some people consider PCOS to be inherently related considered to be intersex it sort of knee-jerk distressed me a litttttlleeee bit. because i am a (afab/cis) woman and considering myself anything close to not-woman is distressing for me, and i blame this partly on the ""male pattern"" symptoms of PCOS, mostly hair growth. So i felt like by considering myself intersex it would like, invalidate my womanness in a way i am already stressed about,

But also i know like..... your sex or body or hormones or whatever dont actually dictate whether you are a woman and i KNOW that logically?? I have trans friends and loved ones for instances. but of course, you always want to exempt yourself from the positive things as if that cant possibly apply.

But yeah idk if its just me in this moment or if this is sort of coming out of a long while of little things percolating in my brain but i also Know i need to find self love and beauty in the body i have because i will Never be a skinny, hairless, high-heel wearing Standard BeautyTM type girl even tho i ame Very Femme. And i need to accept that i can be those things in the body i have because i cannot have another body even if i wanted plastic surgery or could afford/tolerate hair removal etc it's just not gonna happen that shits expensive and ..hmmmmmnnn.. anyway

And before you ask yes i need therapy lmao.... my former therapists and I have never addressed the body image issues because i always default to working on my anxiety but its like? Idk why i do that??

It almost doesnt make sense bc yes the anxiety is distressing but also it hasnt actually held me back that much, it hasnt prevented me from making friends bc i Have Friends, it hasnt prevented me from getting my Masters, moving several times, or having a job I like so i feel like if i do get therapy again I need to be way more intentional about what I want to work on OTHER than anxiety (its also like. Idk. Working on anxiety in ISOLATION from other stuff is also like?? Only ever gonna be so helpful. I wish holistic healthcare were actually possible imagine that)

Sorry 4 the rant and using tumblr as a diary but oh well. Its the several days between xmas and new years what else can i be doing

[drowsystarlight]

ok so i'm not sure if you've ever made a post about your oc's. BUT if you have i would love to see some lore because i am SO curious about them bc they look awesome

oh my god an anon for my KIDS??? i am so flattered. oh my god give me a moment

i removed the public link for all my oc lores bc im putting it in a webcomic THATS GONNA B OUT AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE FOR MY DEAD ART STUDENT BRAIN but yes anyway i can introduce who they are real quick

long post tho,,,, whoopsi

this pink hair babie is Polaris, she's a star god and Essentially the queen of the universe bc she can manipulate this thing called Stardust,,, which is in literally every existing and living thing in the universe to exist,,,, Yeah anyway for a personality: she is a small thing with massive attitude, has an ever-present resting bitch face and take-no-shit attitude . also she has a knack of going for violence immediately as a solution . "what do you mean i can just talk them down?? nope . they need to die . their whole species needs to die actually". she has the power to smite planets and shut off stars if she wanted to. she also fucks around the asteroid belts sometimes for fun lol

her lore is very simple she's basically just a descendant of the last star god so now she's just doing her job while going around outer space >:3

tldr: very strong humanoid star god . eats batteries and cars and metal bc her core is a star and thrives on energy basically . big furnace as throat . probably overgrown kirby . always sparkles and is a glitter goblin (she likes anything gold and sparkly)

Next up is this trashbag and its just Saeth Asterhold a.k.a my misery business mascot bc his life just sucks so bad and he's unluckily lucky (imagine he gets a random dollar bill on the street as a lucky find and then he gets hit by a car like 5 seconds after that . that's what i mean with unluckily lucky . i hope it makes sense)

he is a tiny little human living his tiny little life . also he's definitely an eboy . also emo . he has a pet cat named Morgan and it's actually a magic shadow cat w 3 eyes (the kitty polaris is patting in the image above this hehe)

his lore is VERY CRAPTASTIC basically he sees the magic things normal humans shouldnt ever since he survived an accident at 13 yrs old (ghosts, gods, magic creatures, you name it) so he freaked out and got diagnosed with Schizophrenia for seeing things that arent there (its obviously a wrong diagnosis lol he is literally seeing the worl in its bare magic gears) so he just deals w that AND insomnia and college day to day,,,, yep he is a 22 yr old college student heeho he is just miserable

polaris and saeth both meet bc saeth fucked up, made a wish on a shooting star, and polaris has to grant it bc its also part of her job BUT the wish was so vague and fucky that it just got them stuck together. its the synopsis of their whole story lol basically saeth has to babysit a humanoid star god with ZERO human experience . on earth . and the said star god find humans dumb . its all fun and games

also they're a throuple !!!! this is the last member !!!! this is Enver !!! I changed his first name recently and i used to call him Irving a lot so me and my friends got used to it aha

anyway he is your local default protag, also 22 yrs old and in college, is an older brother to his sibling (nyx!!!! i will talk about them sometime else hehe), a part time worker in the same cafe Saeth works in, AND a sun champion !! he juggles college and work and sibling duty and champion duty everyday . very busy hyperactive but nice person . i love him . he is a great man !! also he is trans and its a big part of his whole story and lore stuff hehee

he's half human and half god bc of his champion occupancy, and the job he does is that he protects earth from these creatures called Void Creatures (wow im very creative at naming things) bc those things prey on negative human things !! he has sun and fire powers !!!! also a notorious fuckboy but in this story its more or less a misunderstanding !! also his lore is craptastic as well . all my ocs have craptastic lores i love writing suffering

anyway he is also Polaris's subordinate (since the sun is a star,,,,, and he + his god pulls power from that aha) and he hates her for being a genocidal asshat so they fight a lot but this trio is very solid and they work well together (,,,when they have to)

OKAY THIS ENDED UP VERY LONG i tried to keep it as small and short as possible but ALAS i talk a lot bc i love my kids,,,,, i have more ocs but they're kinda In The Backseat bc i have favoritism and these 3 are my favorite so i draw them almost all the time,,,, my poor other ocs LMAO

thats all THANK U ANON IM GLAD U LOVE MY CHAOS COSMIC KIDS !!!! this might be a long shot but im writing them in a Soul Eater au (so far only polaris and saeth have showed up bc they're in the main group, Ethan is in the side characters unfortunately) so if you're curious abt how they act (bc obv their lores in their original world is different), you can read it here on ao3 !!

[sonicunleash]

hi. rodimus. [explosion]

Rodimus

Sexuality headcanon: gay. this bot is gay. this bot is gay. this bot is a flaming homo hes gay. you understand. hes gay

Gender headcanon: I'm still kinda ? on how gender works in transformers but calling him cis feels wrong. i know in like canon lore guys are like The Default but rodimus is just really trans about it. I think he'd have fun with neo pronouns too

A ship I have with said character: god driftrod is so cute for real..... I'll always be a sucker for like the two really close long time best friends that also are more open and honestly themselves around each other than anyone else and it gets really fruity with it

A BROTP I have with said character: uhhhh im Juuust getting into rodimus' like character arc and he honestly doesn't have that many close relationships but I do love the uncle and nephew dynamic he kinda has with ratchet. i think ratchet genuinely cares about him and wants him to come into his own as a leader because optimus believes in him and he can see the potential that optimus saw but I think he's also hard on rodimus too hence the vote. but just because he didnt think rodimus was suited to lead the lost light back then doesn't mean he's disloyal to him, i think. just that ratchet knows rodimus has a lot to learn. and i think rodimus really values ratchets opinions on him and that stung a lot-- ratchet's opinion is like the closest thing he has on the lost light to like. optimus'. if he's disappointing ratchet, than is he also failing optimus? not to mention ratchet is just generally a very well-respected, old and experienced autobot. his opinion and judgement holds WEIGHT.

A NOTP I have with said character: r/dimus/m/gatron can burn in a fire shut the fuck up shutthe fuck up AAAAAA

A random headcanon: i think he has a lot of little toys and trinkets and do-dads collected from earth somewhere, and always takes a few with him when travelling from wherever his home is. I imagine a lot of them have emotional significance and memories attached but some of them are also just "oh my god look at this funny monkey this is hilarious [winston overwatch figure]"

General Opinion over said character: he has problems and he is making it everyones problem and he needs to just get therapy already for real

[constablegoo]

@astralglam​​​​ filed a report .

mint: does your muse view themself as virtuous & moral? what do these words mean to them?

OHOHO. hey hi ily. this is, of course, one of odo’s deepest ongoing battles, and the moment he stops questioning it is the moment he becomes a founder.

the founders grant themselves god status.  GOD!  status. they just reach out and pluck it. Within their range of power, the founders become unquestionably Just and Virtuous and Moral, their Word becomes Law, it becomes “the way things are” and “fact” and they create their own reality stemming from thousands of years of intense xenophobia. they’re above it all. gods don’t make mistakes, right? sure, maybe changelings were hunted and feared ages ago but they still fear it, and that drive for Order and Control over the galaxy is now encoded into their genes and they place a companion structure into the genes of every other species they control, subjugating them to the founders’ own cozy position as Gods, or-- ‘gods’. the founder (i rly don’t like saying “female” founder so she’s THE Founder. she speaks for the link.) makes it quite clear on many occasions that the founders are not here to negotiate. they fully intend to control EVERYTHING at any cost. it is absolutely  chilling  when she cuts garak down with: “they’re dead. you’re dead. cardassia is dead.” and draws the line between the dominion and everyone else miles deep into the sand.

that same genetic coding is one of the first semi-concrete things odo comes to understand about himself and, horribly, he’s landed into conditions under the occupation that very easily could have taken advantage of a less meticulous or stubborn changeling. no, odo says initially (and incorrectly), i am not bajoran** and i am not cardassian and i stand apart from either side of this conflict and so i am bound to PURE Virtue and Morality because of it. he can’t be bribed or bought or won over, and he won’t allow for anything less than a kind of incorruptibility. this effectively wins him allies (and enemies) on both sides, however -- that’s just not how the universe works. the truth of it is that no matter how much he tells himself he is not a part of their regime, his working with the cardassians makes him a collaborator in that he has then recognized their authority and ultimately upheld their legitimacy, even if he never agreed with the cause, even if he was also on some level a casualty of it. at some point when he moves past ‘contract’ investigation and begins to work permanently, he falls into the trap of thinking Order is the same thing as Justice... huge yikes. in that moment he becomes a true and apathetic villain, but he’s subsequently haunted by the resulting execution of innocents. it shakes something up in him. years pass and he still wonders, what other mistakes has he made? what other less direct consequences of his ‘neutral’ arbitration exist? he (and everyone around him) has to live without really knowing, and it’s a constant reminder to him of the power he holds and it informs his understanding of what Real (and imperfect) Justice Means.

**sidenote but later in s7 he introduces himself as ‘from bajor’ and AAAAAA. its good. very good. yeah, you’re bajoran, odo. he gets it now.

Mirror odo is really the ultimate example of an odo having taken those instincts to extremes in an environment that rewarded him for them -- there is no guilt there, and even a sadistic kind of pleasure in it. i’d argue that gaia!odo is another, less extreme example of an odo who’s been alone too long and lost sight of things when he single-mindedly (and against kira’s wishes) chooses her (one person) over 8000. like holy shit? NOT ok? uhhuhhhhfff. anyway. very fortunately, neither of these are OUR odo, but act as great foils to reflect on the worst (bastard cop) qualities or potential qualities of our goo pushed to highly visible extremes, which star trek just loves to do all the time.

but regular/prime odo isnt exactly a rule-follower, either. throughout his life, he frequently takes things into his own hands, uses his abilities to his advantage, spies, wiretaps, eavesdrops, and yes, harasses [quark] sometimes -- he develops his own set of values and personal rules and follows them; even starfleet comes in wary of him and how he operates and hes on thin ice. but because of possibly his most redeeming quality, odo is able to adapt those self-ordained values toward something increasingly honest: for how rigid he can be in personality, he is HIGHLY influenced by the world around him,  listens hard  to what his friends and allies have to say and adapts that feedback; this allows him to evolve and grow and take important matters to heart. he becomes more flexible and better able to hold onto what’s really most important after locking into a decision, because above all else, he is passionately committed to doing the Right Thing. he PLEADS with himself in things past, “your job is to find the truth, not obtain convictions.” by his tendency to push back against what is laid down as ‘law’ (something he becomes more and more aware of and effective at doing) as not always being good or right, or necessarily even creating Order (the thing he’s driven genetically to want), he prepares himself to challenge the most deadly voice of authority -- that of his own people.

so... yes and no. odo’s role and persona as ‘your average security chief’ might dictate that he be virtuous and moral, but he so obviously can’t fit the same exact mold as others in his position -- he has these insane abilities and this mind-consuming nature and it requires he tread with extra care, but he also has a potential for more adaptive, more nuanced morality. he has to build up his own definitions to the words, constantly examine and tease and test them, or else he risks straying too far from what he really wants to achieve -- harmony, honest justice. he has to accept that he’s a part of the system he operates in (not, in fact, alone or isolated! something he actually wants), and know that he is not exempt from making the wrong choice, just like anybody else.

carnation: what is your muse’s relationship with their gender? how do they express or not express this relationship?

ODO AND GENDER!!! i love odo and gender. let’s take this one step at a time. he starts out as an amorphous glob -- he has no gender. there’s no basis for assignment, no culture of difference, and all the goos are goo. odo takes on the shape of the first living thing he sees / the thing he sees most frequently: dr mora. he adopts an image of masculinity from mora and he adopts the hair. that’s about it, and it’s pretty much arbitrary. (maybe the hair is simple enough for his skills, too?) the next people odo meets are also these very masculine, military, cardassian leaders, so again -- this is all he knows! this is neutrality. i imagine it takes him some time to work out what the differences in gender are, and sex, and orientation, romantic vs sexual stuff, all of that. it’s all got cultural baggage he knows nothing about and does not experience, and he’s also dealing with multiple, clashing cultures to boot. since he doesnt have any strong inherent leaning, he simply opts out. he/him becomes his default because thats where he started, thats what he’s been able to successfully present and how people know him, and, terrifyingly, under cardassian rule, it probably offered a bit of safety, too, which was obviously something he needed at the time.

way way way way way down the line in season seven, odo asks kira to (paraphrasing) look at me. what do you see? [i see you.] but this is NOT me, this is only a shape ive assumed in order to fit in. she says, yes, i know that. but this is who you have chosen to be. “a man. a good and honest man.” (i knowww shes not really talking abt gender here BUT) its hard as a trans person not to read the metaphor. he’s chosen to express SOMETHING. he’s chosen something other than what he was given (neutrality) and although he doesnt personally buy into what ‘masculinity’ “should be” (ie the ferengi, smh) / would certainly not argue he doesnt feel non-binary, this is how he has presented all his life, its how hes been treated, and it is what he has chosen to adhere to. there’s a choice in that, kira’s right, and now it reflects something about him.

parallel this, i’ll mention the “female” founder again bc of course there is no discernable reason for her to have a gender -- other than to appeal (im not talking sexually here although there’s,, obviously weird shit happening with the link... yike) to odo in the sense that until that point odo has lived with “gendered” individuals and, i think importantly, kira is with them when they first meet. i think its safe to say the founder saw her, figured she was a friend/ally to odo or at least familiar to him, and took her general representation to appeal as a friend/ally.

otherwise... why, honestly? the founder’s got NO love of humanoids lmao why would she bother.

anyway i’d like to see odo experiment a bit. because when hes safe, he can!! aside from his own doubts and insecurities about shapeshifting, at some point he really has no reason not to, at least a little bit. really, it should just be another thing to practice, much like becoming a convincing rock or a leaf, its just that there are other significances in the cultures around him. i’d just like to see him loosen up a little. have fun. grow ur hair out a bit, odo, why are u still looking like ur terrible dad.

[hxbistuff]

A few tips for writing blogs!

Im not much of a writer, but as a reader and someone who requests writing alot, i do as much as i can to make sure im treating writers correctly and supporting their work.

However, some little things make it harder for me and readers alike to do so! Thus, ive made this post to help any current or future writers improve on anything that needs improving!

Essentials:

First and foremost, these are things your blog must need in order to communicate with your readers well! If we arent able to communicate, theres a lack of understanding of how the writer and the blog opperates! Every writer is different, we cant assume that asks are open or requests are closed. Use your bio to communicate!

You MUST:

• include who/what you write for

• indicate what is or is not open for reader interaction (eg: whether asks, requests, ships etc are open or not)

• navigate your rules and conditions! Whether its through a link or a tag, please ALWAYS include this! Its arguably the most crucial part of a writing blog!

• let us know any important info before we decide to interact or follow, such as hiatuses, breaks, unsteady uploading due to personal reasons (reasons you shouldn't feel pressured to disclose!). Make sure your readers know how your doing, we care about you!

• if you have a masterlist, link/tag it! Always include this in your bio, or make a notice if theres one to come!

Not every blog is very active, not every blog posts daily, thats okay! We have lives outside of the internet, and your viewers and writers must understand that!

Communication:

~ If theres an aspect of your blog that needs daily/regular updating or maintenance, make it your responsibility to do that. For example, if you have a masterlist, remind yourself to update it! Its important! If youre not as active on your blog and dont have the time to update it, either let your followers know or dont have one.

~ be inclusive; stop this silly default idea of all protagonists or readers being pale skin, regular size, nuclear family! We are black, asian, short, gay, trans, european, arabic, african, only child, orphan! Dont limit readers to American/British (yes it seems silly but its crazy the amount if requests ive seen be ruined by this stereotyped idea) and dont assume we can 'flush bright red' or 'go out with mum and dad'. Alter your writing to be descriptive but up to ones imagination! Not describing the main character wont ruin your writing!

~ let your followers be aware of what your not comfortable with! Yes we can ask, but its a lot more transparent and convenient if you include this in your rules or guidelines! Your followers should not overstep bounderies! Be assertive, its okay to decline a request if it makes you uncomfortable!

~ In the scenario that you dont want to write or fill out a request, dont just ignore it! Let the user know, whether its by answering the ask honestly or messaging them. Its generally more polite and transparent; some asks get eaten by tumblr so we tend to resend them! Deleting asks and moving on with no notice might make us think you just havent seen it!

~ Dont take harassment. Youre a writer, not an object of entertainment. Know your bounderies and stand your ground. If harassment increases to the point that its altering the experience of interacting with your blog, dont be afraid to let followers know if youre going to take a break, block people, delete malicious asks, taking off the anonymous option. We dont want you to fall for petty harassment but we also dont want our experience to be ruined by trolls on the internet!

~ dont judge people by their requests (within reason). When answering a request, whether youre denying it or accepting it, dont tease or insult people for whatever scenario, prompt, trope or k*nk (censored for those who dont feel comfortable!) a reader may have sent your way. If you dont want to write for it, kindly decline and move on. See or come across something extreme or harmful? Report and/or block, simple! The best way of preventing this problematic types of asks or readers is by either letting them kmow you wont write for them or simply not giving them the attention they want.

Last of all,

Thank you all for reading, feel free to add anything else you feel is important for a writing blog to include! I dont mean any harm or aggression in this post, i just want to help out those who might need it!

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[greatworkbegins]

well! i came out to my first family member today and it didn’t go awful but of course it was just not the lovely easy thing i would like it to be. i just wanted to go to bed but i felt like i should probably not do that without thinking about this and reflecting on it and writing about it because i need to process and not let how i feel about it just fade away.

i’m just kinda mad! i’m mad that i have to phrase my desire to transition in terms of like.... the fact that if i don’t do this in the next five years i think i’ll kill myself? in order to have a person take it seriously that this is a thing i need to do and want to do. that feels so horrendous. it’s not that it’s untrue. like now that i know this about myself i cannot imagine going on living without striving towards the goal of making this a reality for myself. so it’s true that like painful dysphoria is a big part of this and that i think i need to do this in order to survive but like. in my day to day that doesn’t feel so alive in my experience of being trans.

for one i would just like anyone that loves me to just be able to hear me say “this is who i think i am and these are the steps i need to take in order to actualize that” and they’ll say “wonderful! and because i love you i’m going to rework my thoughts of you and do my best to make you feel safe and just be lovely to you” because there are people in my life who are like that who bend over backwards to make me feel happy and i know that i would be absolutely willing to do that for anyone that i love too. 

but instead! they put their baggage on me about who they expect me to be or who they’ve thought i was for so long or how difficult it will be to change their language about me. like none of that is remotely my issue and i cannot imagine any situation in which i would ever ever deem it appropriate to say to someone the sort of things that i have been told by people when i’ve come out to them. how can you possibly thing that it is my problem to deal with.

the person that i told is my aunt, and she was wondering if i was nervous about telling my mom and i said of course a little but mostly that im just tired of feeling like im lying and not being able to move on with my life and feeling like a child under the whim of parents i dont even respect because i cant just fucking come out to them. like mostly thats why i wanna come out, honestly. i dont really feel like i owe them this information and it’s not necessarily fair that im expecting a negative reaction but like im certainly not going to get an easy and loving reaction from my mom and to be honest i don’t thing it’s improbable that my dad won’t want to have much to do with me anymore after he finds out and that he’ll be really embarrassed of me and not want to talk about me with his family and feel like a failure somehow about me. 

and THEN of course we were talking about like. what should i expect when i come out to my mom. and my aunt was saying how there will probably be some wondering on my mom’s part of what she did wrong to make me this way and that just made me feel so helpless and ugly and bad. this mottled up thing. and i told her as much, told her how angry that line of thinking makes me and she was like “dont you think that’s understandable, dont you think that it makes sense for a parent to wonder these things and have certain ideas in mind for their child” and again it made me so mad so FURIOUS because that is the opposite of what i believe and i hate that she made that seem as if it was foregone conclusion that parents always have to project their expectations onto their child. i never want my children to ever feel that there is some version of them that they need to conform to in order to please me. i want them to explore all edges of existence and personality and performance and find what lights their soul and live that and i want to be there for every step of it to help them find their way there. i want to give my children the emotional tools to be able to express themselves and believe that they can trust me and know that i will love them however they want to be loved. that is the kind of parent that i want to be and it hurts me so much every time to be reminded that this is not the default way that parents operate. 

WHY can’t people just be lovely. i think about that line from please like me all the time WHY why WHY cant people just be lovely and try to love the people that they love in the best way possible why do they think they know how to love someone better than they know themselves.  

and i don’t know im just. after she left she called and left me a message to say “henry i love you and that’s not going to change” and i didn’t feel remotely comforted by that?

[yasandtaetae]

Min Yoongi(Suga)’s Natal Chart

Before I start analyzing each BTS members natal chart I do want to make it clear that I am not a professional Astrologer, I am simply a BTS fan that takes interested in Astrology and wanted to incorporate that into the BTS members by analyzing their personalities according to their birthcharts and what I already know about their personalities(: So the first person I want to start with is Min Yoongi since he is my bias and I have spent a good amount of time reading his natal chart lol. Now it is hard to interpret a natal chart without knowing their birthtime. Without the birth time we have no idea what houses each planet is in or what their rising is and that can makes some big differences to their personalities, however we can still get a good interpretation without birthtimes. I have made an educated guess on Yoongi’s birthtime since he was born on a moon cusp. However in this interpretation I wont include that in here, I will talk about that on another post and include the differentiated traits with the inclusion of his birthtime, but for now I’ll talk about his planets,signs, aspects and how I see it express it’s energy through Yoongi.

Min Yoongi Born March 9, 1993 in Daegu, South Korea; Birth time Unknown

Sun in Pisces: Sun in Pisces individuals are compassionate, empathetic, and sensitive. Symbolized by to fish swimming in opposite directions that shows their go with the flow personalities. They are kind-hearted folks who are quite understanding, but often feel misunderstood themselves. Pisces tend to feel alone and have escapist tendencies. They find it hard to cope with reality and often are drawn to daydreaming and spaced out behavior. They don’t always appear to be stable, they have tendencies to be late for appointments and have a hard time being assertive and productive. They are truly soft-hearted people that yearn for understanding. Pisces interests usually gravitates towards the arts, music, or anything creative.

Although a lot of times Yoongi appears indifferent or maybe cold to others, I think that once people get to know more about him, you can see there is more than what meets the eye. Although he seems indifferent, he may be not so indifferent underneath. His Piscean nature is quite evident from the perspective of someone who is also a Pisces. His love and appreciation for his fans sure shows his soft Piscean side, especially if you watch his fansigning fancams you can definitely see his kind side and it’s pretty hard to resist his charm at that point. Whether or not it’s fan service, actions and body language don’t lie. Remember when he made the fans handmade gifts on his own birthday? That definitely showed his giving and kind side. Yoongi is more of a man of action, not words. I dont see many people talk about this either, but despite his cool, laid back demeanor, I think Yoongi is pretty shy, but he’s very good at playing smooth. Pisceans are typically introverts and tend towards the quiet spectrum. I notice in interviews more so from their early days, Yoongi was a bit nervous to talk in interviews. I could be wrong of course, but this is what I have observed, and being a Pisces myself (if this is even a Pisces thing) maybe Im trying to understand him through my lens, but he has talked about having social anxiety in his mixtape, so it very much so seems that socializing and feeling alone and misunderstood has very much been a theme through his early life. Feeling misunderstood by his parents, hiding in the bathroom because he was afraid of people, dealing with depression and anxiety. There is far more to Yoongi than what meets the eye and this seems to be a stereotypical theme of a Pisces mindset. Yoongi isnt the cold, savage person he seems to appear.

Moon in Virgo: Now, Yoongi’s moon sign has a 50/50 chance of being a Virgo or Libra(since it’s on a cusp) , but since the default moon on most birth chart calculators set it as a Virgo moon, and because Virgo moon seems best fit, we’ll go with that. The sign of Virgo is ironically the opposite sign of Pisces, but even though they are opposite signs doesnt mean they are polar opposites in astrology. When you have Sun and Moon in opposite signs, it can cause for confusion between the heart and mind. The moon sign is supposed to represent your emotional nature and how you react instinctively in situations. Virgos are reserved, analytical, perfectionist, and hardworking. They look at the finer details rather than the big picture. They are perfectionists and want to make everything as perfect as possible.  This trait definitely shows through his work. When it comes to producing and he seems to be pretty hard on himself. He’s not the type to do anything half- heartedly, and when it comes to his music he wants to be completely happy with it. I also dont think he is only a perfectionist with matters of just his work, but also possibly a perfectionist with himself also. How hard he is on himself shows through his mixtape. “A passion that is dead and comparing myself with others has become every day for me” (@bts-trans) shows how hard he is on himself. Comparing himself with others? A lot of us may be thinking he perfect the way he is, why would he compare himself with others? Well, because it seems Yoongi is hard on himself, thinking he can always be better. He is a humble man but still exudes confidence, but from his lyrics it is evident that he is still lacking complete faith in himself, and isnt so confident as he so seems. With his Pisces Sun and Virgo Moon combination it very likely the theme of having his expectations too high of himself can effect his worth greatly giving into themes of sadness or depression from expecting too much of one’s self.

Having Sun in Pisces and Moon in Virgo gives some stability in emotions and sensitivity. Unlike Pisces, Virgos are realistic, able to face facts and stay grounded in reality, without letting too much emotions keep them from getting things done. Yoongi is a realist, as we can see how he talks to the other members and doesnt seem afraid to speak up. His bluntness could very well come from his Virgo Moon placement, not afraid to be realistic, intellectual, and ready to face facts. However, in my point of view the Pisces Sun influence gives Yoongi the upper hand of being able to be blunt and realistic without seeming too cold or mean. He is straight forward but doesnt come off too too strong and/or abrasive. Pisces Sun/ Virgo moon combination will give Yoongi the advantage of being able to apply his intuition and feelings in practical affairs.

Aspects to Moon

Moon Trine Neptune In Capricorn

Yoongi has the aspect of Moon trine Neptune. I think aspect is pretty important when it comes to Yoongi. This aspect can be found in many music artists charts. Mainly Moon conjunct Neptune, which is typically the strongest because a conjunction is a hard aspect, but Trine is a bit more calm and harmonious but still very important. Moon in aspect with Neptune will soften up even the coldest aspects in Yoongi’s chart. Moon is the ruler of Cancer, which is the planet of emotions. Neptune is the ruling planet of Pisces, which is the plant of illusions and the imagination. Having this aspect will give Yoongi an affinity to music. According to Cafe Astrology, which is where I have read up on this aspect, people with this aspect look to music for healing. It’s no secret music is a HUGE part of Yoongi’s life. It’s his passion. It’s his everything. I remember reading up on how he was around 14 or 15 when he first discovered he wanted to be a music artist. He has even said that if he could go back to one specific day it would be the day he decided he wanted to be a musician. I feel I can imagine just how much music had effect on Yoongi. Can you imagine? Loving something so much that you just know right then and there that that’s what you want to do. For me, I think this explains so much about Yoongi. In fact I think it makes him all the more interesting because he doesnt really talk much his deepest feelings, but I think that there is more of a reason why Yoongi wanted to be a producer. On American Hustle Life when Coolio was talking about Rap you can just see it on his face how much it means to him. Which is why I think this is a very important aspect for him.

  I will be doing a continuation of this on another post so stay tuned (: Im not done just yet

Sources: http://astrology-numerology.com/sun-moon.html#12_6

https://cafeastrology.com/natal/moonneptuneaspects.html

[douchebagbrainwaves]

THIS IS ANOTHER VARIABLE WHOSE COEFFICIENT SHOULD BE ZERO

But if you're living in the future to say this replaced journalism on some axis? A particularly promising way to be unusual is to be expected.1 You don't release code late at night and then go home.2 It did not end with software. Some of them, and probably offend them. I don't think the rise of Web-based applications.3 It was a great step forward to judge people by their performance on a test. Also turn off every other filter, particularly Could this be a big company, it doesn't seem as if Larry and Sergey themselves were unsure at first about starting a startup just doesn't require that much intelligence.4 But while learning to hack is not necessary, it is for the forseeable future sufficient.5

There is a parallel here with the first microcomputers. Now everyone knows that this is the exact moment when technological progress stops.6 Who will the customers be? At Harvard that is or was Reading Period, when students have no classes to attend because they're supposed to be there at certain times. The whole Viaweb site was made with our software, even though you don't need the current. The weekend before the demo day for investors, we had a practice session where all the groups gave their presentations. You had to go through bosses, and yet only in occasional emergencies does anyone tell anyone else what to do by someone you had to get mentioned in magazines and newspapers.7

What's missing? But while demand shaped like a well. If you get a summer job as a waiter to learn how restaurants worked. College is an incomparable opportunity to do that, like other investors, we had a template language called RTML, which supposedly stood for something, and then buy it, as two separate steps.8 They had ups and downs, like every startup, but I don't think I'm imagining it. When searching for ideas, look in areas where you have some expertise. We never had more to say at any one time to bother with a formal bug-tracking system.9 The arrival of desktop computers inspired a lot of money to convince big companies that they need something more expensive. Best of all is when you can get away with being more informal.

You don't release code late at night and then go home.10 It only spread to places where there was a change in the social conventions and perhaps the laws governing the way big companies worked.11 Amazingly, no one ever called us on it. How would you get food, if you can make your software very efficient you can undersell competitors and still make a profit. Traditional journalism, for example—can't help but look smug. Made-up startup ideas tends to produce bad ones, working on things that we could imagine know-it-alls on forums dismissing as toys. Of course, server-based software, neither your data nor the applications are kept on the client, it will work at any college. A small decrease in morale is enough to kill them off. Defaults are enormously powerful, precisely because they can't measure and thus reward individual performance. It doesn't sound obviously mistaken.

The way to deal with uncertainty is to analyze it into components. The whole site was organized like a funnel, directing people to the test drive would increase our growth rate. But I'm pretty sure that's a bad idea. We are still very suspect of this idea but will take a meeting as you suggest. I think we'll marvel at the inconveniences people put up with.12 There is a name now for what we were: an Application Service Provider, or ASP.13 But while demand shaped like a well is almost a necessary condition for passing, it was how many of them there are, any more than we'd expect naive solutions for keeping heroin out of a prison to work. You might think that people decide to buy something, and then buy it, as two separate steps. Our existence depended on doing these things right.14 It's usually fairly quick to find a cofounder, but that you rode with one foot in front of the other, like a skateboard.

Notes

Whereas many of the latter case, 20th century was also the main emotion I've observed; but it is still hard to say what was happening on Dallas, and there are few who can predict instead of editors, and when you graduate, regardless of what they do for a certain field, it's easy for small children, we're going to create wealth with no deadline, you can do it well enough known that people working for me to do video on-demand, because they've learned more, while she likes getting attention in the early adopters you evolve the idea that investors don't always volunteer a lot of money from good investors that they aren't. In the early adopters.

For example, willfulness clearly has two subcomponents, stubbornness and energy. They may play some behind the rapacious one.

A friend who started a company is common, but that we wrote in verse, it might be interested to hear about the idea is the case of Bayes' Rule. I have so far. This is one of the paths people take through life, and they hope will be near-spams that have bad ideas is many times that conversation was repeated.

And since everyone involved is so pervasive how often the answer to, in the few cases where it was too late to launch. It's a case in the bouillon cube s, cover, and their flakiness is indistinguishable from those of dynamic variables were merely optimization advice, before realizing that that's what we do. Wolter, Allan trans, Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p.

There are two very different types of applicants—for example I've deliberately avoided saying whether the program is no richer if it's convertible debt at a party school will inevitably be something of an urban legend. If you ask parents why kids shouldn't swear, the median VC loses money. If you extrapolate another 20 years, it will probably not quite as harmless as we think we're so useless that in effect what the rule of law is aiming at.

If you're trying to sell earlier than you otherwise would have become direct marketers. I know of any that died from releasing something full of bugs. You know what they do care about may not care; they may try to be combined that never should have been the first scientist.

Japanese cities are ugly too, e. It's hard to say that YC's most successful investment, Uber, from the end of economic equality in the country it's in. But it's dangerous to Microsoft than Netscape was.

To be fair, the idea that they have less room for startups might be interested to hear from them. Founders weren't celebrated in the Valley. Something similar has been happening for a long time for word of mouth to get into that because a it's too obvious to your instruments.

This suggests a way to pressure them to private schools that in the future. In high school, secretly write your dissertation in the production of high quality. The reason is that promising ideas are not one of them, would not be led by manipulation or wishful thinking into trying to dispute their decision or just outright dismisses it and creates a situation where the ratio of spam, for many Americans the decisive change in the trade press.

That's probably too much. In January 2003, Yahoo released a new search engine is low. We thought software was all that matters to us that the feature was useless, but viewed from the compromise you'd have reached after lots of people who will go on to study, because spam and legitimate mail volume both have distinct daily patterns. But you couldn't possibly stream it from a 6/03 Nielsen study quoted on Google's site.

It also set off an extensive biography, and Reddit is Delicious/popular with groups that are only pretending to in the grave and trying to figure this out. Since I now have on the proceeds of the class of 2007 came from such schools.

32. You're not seeing fragmentation unless you see with defense contractors or fashion brands.

Even if the founders: agree with them in advance that you can't even claim, like good scientists, motivated less by financial rewards than by the time. In fact, change what it means to be secretive, because unions will exert political pressure against Airbnb than hotel companies. They're common to all cultures with long traditions of living in Italy, I had a house built a couple hundred years ago.

So starting as a test of investor behavior. One of the optimism Europeans consider distinctly American is simply that it makes sense to exclude outliers from some types of studies, studies of returns from startup investing, but rather by, say, but nothing else: no friends, TV, music, phone, IM, email, Web, games, books, newspapers, or the power that individual customers have over established companies is 47. Our secret is to try, we'd have understood users a lot about how closely the remarks attributed to Confucius and Plato saw themselves as teachers of administrators, and have not stopped to say, recursion, and at least once for that might be a big VC firm wants to program a Turing machine. If you want to design new languages.

[tumblunni]

The big post about how i love my sneasel who is great

Welcome to that post. It might get long.

Reaper the level 100 Naughty nature Sneasel with Keen Eye who experienced pokerus once and has contest ribbons from too many regions oh my gosh Leeeeeeets get going on how much I adore my little guy!

Okay, the story behind him. He is kinda unofficially my starter pokemon?

Cos of course there was no way to keep your mons from RBY and GSC back then, but I’d kinda only had one pokemon anyway. I was a dumb kid who just solo’d both games with my raichu Chuppy. And sadly I ended up losing them even before the whole transfer issue, someone stole my Gold cartridge during school and when I found it half smashed in the playground all the data had been corrupted. It did actually play though, just with some colour issues I think? I never really restarted cos it felt cruel to Chuppy to do it. So I’m happy that the virtual console rerelease let me reincarnate Chuppy and even make them a cool new alola form! (though they had a different gender this time, but meh i get to headcanon my chu is trans like me, haha) So yeah thats the story of my official first pokemon, but Chuppy didnt really have any personality or headcanons back then cos I was so new to the franchise. And Reaper ended up lasting way longer and sharing every single other region with me, so he kinda took the spot of ‘starter’ even if he wasnt ‘first’. (I still was really happy to welcome reincarnation Chuppy home tho!)

Reaper actually came from Pokemon Colosseum, of all places! His OT name is the completely-wrong ‘Tom’ cos he was from when I restarted my game after getting stuck and just buttonmashed one of the default names out of frustration. I actually caught him in a master ball just cos I was that excited to hug the lil guy! Sneasel was my fave gen 2 mon but i never managed to catch one actually in GSC, i didnt know it was limited to a rare encounter in the very last area. And even before I caught him I knew sneasel was in this game via guides, so i was waiting with baited breath and establishing headcanons even before i found him. Then I just COULD NOT WAIT, hence the master ball! XD I kinda preemptivel based him on the iron mask marauder’s sneasel from the celebi movie, cos shadow pokemon are similar to his brainwashing stuff. And I always liked his sneasel, scizor and tyranitar, for such minor roles they are. It was a nice nuance for the bad guy’s pokemon to be shown as VERY MUCH not evil, just enslaved by magic brainwashing and mistreated. It warmed my heart seeing them freeing each other and escaping in the end once the control was broken! But also it established sneasel as a really cool badass fighter that I wanted to have someday, yknow?

So yeah I got this guy from colosseum before I even played RSE, and he ended up being my ‘starter’ in that game so much that i cant even remember which one i picked. I boxed it right away and never thought about it again, I was a callous kid! It was actually really interesting playing ORAS and finally getting to see what the hoenn starters are actually like, lol And Reaper remained my best friend across like ELEVEN OR MORE REPLAYS of every single gen 3 game except emerald. Cos at that time in my childhood i literally did not have any other games. i spent around three or four years with just sapphire, leafgreen and final fantasy tactics advance. (Oh boy that game’s script is stuck in my brain for all time) And getting attatched to the characters and making new ones all the time was how i kept from getting bored this way ^_^ Buuuuut... it kinda meant that I just discarded most of them super fast to make more. the only other pokemon that migrated to sinnoh with Reaper was Nether the sableye, who was kinda his rival/best friend. (Tho I mispelled it as Neava so he’s stuck that way, lol. And both of them are in all caps forever...) Nether is kinda the basis for my recent oc Malachi, so he’s like an entirely different story for another time. But he was my Sapphire buddy and Reaper was one region older via the power of spinoffs.

And oh man yeah i totally loved the shadow pokemon plot lol! I just headcanoned his plot with regards to that was the same as the marauder’s mons. Perfectly nice tiny sneasel boy is kidnapped and experimented upon by evils, but my love saved him and now he is soft once more. He didnt really have much angst from it, but it helped such a wild spirit grow to trust my hero and trust humans in general after such a rocky introduction to them. I imagined it was like training a dangerous dog to be a police canine, with that arm guard thing that they bite! Shadow pokemon training must be WAY more tough than it seems on the surface! So like ash’s charizard plot, where it ends up with really fire forged family love after all the hardship. I think that before he met my trainer he was just like a loner robin hood type character who valued his freedom and thought that tamed pokemon were all wusses. But alas, he was forced to experience human hugs, and now he’s addicted! but he’d still be quite rebellious and wild and have a lot of goofy cute interactions as he tries to learn all this complicated stuff about being a pet. Why cant I pee on the carpet?? Why do I have to eat pellet food? Why are you mad when i bring you dead mice and pidgey eggs?? bad bad influence on the other mons, but also a softhearted big bro who WANTS to be a good influence. He pretends to be all aloof and stoic cliche angsty antihero, but always messes up and looks cute instead! And he gets crushingly sad if any of his lil siblings actually does get afraid of him. Noooo the grumpyness is for the humans! Not for you!! No-one is allowed to pet the sneas except the other pokemon. It my duty to protect my new pack of strangely shaped sneasels! Oh and he likes booze. In human terms he’d be around 25-30, but still its not good for animals to drink human liquor. Never stopped him though! He’d always find ways to sniff it out and swipe half-finished cans from the trash and stuff. Bad angstman! I know thats part of your archetype but stop it!

So... basically he was like.. cloud? original version from ff7 where he was sassy and goofy sometimes, except reaper is like that all the time with less angst and pretty much zero ego. He’s just like a kind yet not completely competant fun uncle who tries his best to put up a cool guy front to impress the kids (and push away scary humans) but his innate sweetness means he always messes up. And he’s super tsundere about the fact he considers his trainer part of his infinate pack of children, even if every other human is DANGER MODE. Must protect this human from the other ones! Must teach them the ways of the sneas! Oh, and I imagined his appearance as a gijinka would be kinda like Squall from ff8. cos he actually started off as a parody of that unlikeable angstman archetype, and i didnt even know Cloud existed until yeaaaars later. (Played the ffs completely out of order...) So i figured he’d be like squall but with dark skin and a kinda sirus black hairstyle. (Cos that guy contributed the kind uncle part of his inspiration!) Oh and of course a sneasely colourscheme for the fur coat. And I ended up making him hold Blackglasses so often that it was an in-joke that he actually wore shades 24/7 even in normal pokemon form XD

When I first got him in Collosseum he was really useful for his Brick Break move, and im actually really happy that the brick break image on bulbapedia is the collosseum sneasel using it! It was very very good as one of the few mons available with that move in the very limited choices you had for that game. But his signature move kinda ended up being Surf, even though his stats would have been awful for it even if I’d ev trained him properly XD I just found it so bizarre that sneasel of all things could learn that HM! I imagined he formed a surfboard out of ice to carry the trainer, cos there’s no way you could stand on the back of a 30cm tall weasel...

And man lets just have some random sneasel headcanons now!

* Their feathers exist to sense wind fluctuations, which are useful in their natural environment to anticipate snowstorms and track prey in low visibility.

* The ear feather is just for this, its the more sensitive one. The tail feathers are more for manipulating objects and other day to day life. They’re more matted and dont really have the same hearing ability, but the joints are way more flexible so they can be moved independantly like three actual tails. Sneasels can pick up small delicate objects by brushing them up between the tails, then rolling them down their back to reach their mouth. they also use the tails to brush away dirt, hide their tracks in the snow, form surprisingly intricate igloo-like nests and groom their fur with the utmost precision.

* Sneasels will outright resent any attempts to groom them by anyone but their closest human friend, since inevitably humans cant do as good of a job. But humans can scratch behind your ears and give cuddles, so it all works out!

* In the wild, sneasels eat primarily eggs, some nuts and berries, scavenged semi-rotten meat and not so much live prey. Even though they’re very skilled, they’re also very fragile and cautious because of it. They’ll only hunt in extreme situations, instead preferring to confuse and mislead their way to dinner. Sneasels are very social and loyal to each other even if they’re not to anyone else. Their most common strategy is the whole pack wards off a dangerous foe while one lone unit sneaks past and robs that pokemon’s food stores, to share with the family. Even if they’re forced to hunt their own prey, they still follow these strategies and try to just outrun the enemy until it dies of exhaustion or freezes in the blizzard. They’re experts of making cuts that disable but don’t kill- going in close enough to deliver that final blow means risking a valuable pack member’s life!

Not really a headcanon now but back to reaper himself, I always kinda imagine him looking more like a real weasel. I like sneasel’s design but the bipedal humanoid proportions arent exactly the best thing, yknow? i feel like it should have had shorter more pawlike back legs and just been top-heavy with the super claws. Like.. I imagine kinda a furret? just the appeal of actual weasels and stoats plz. I love sneasel but when i looked up weasels as a kid i was like MY HEART!!! they’re sock puppet babies with lint fuzz faces Also I think sneasel’s claws are kinda comically short and boring considering theyre like its Big Feature. I liked when they were drawn a bit longer in older artworks, and i always imagined reaper had longer ones like scyther-y level. Thats why I named him that! Crescent moon claws of awesomeness, striking in the night~! ...he would be really cool if he wasnt such a cuddly dork. I love him so much, he’s my baby. And my dad. And my uncle?? he’s just a very good friend and im happy videogames can touch my heart like nothing else let me love my nonexistant magic weasel from cyberspace forevermore~!