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#also yeah i suck at perspective as always

mrabubu · 3 months

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"i don't have the exact first meeting pinned down in my head, but i do have this mental image of him sitting on a fire escape, one knee bent up to his chest and the other hanging down the side, a toothy grin on his face as he mockingly asks: "what a soft little thing like you is doing on this side of town?" "

Say no more @desceros Also, thank you @gbao3 for references for Leo's outfit

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flecks-of-stardust · 1 year

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Casting pebbles toward the sun, spectating their fall — A Rain World Short Story

The counterpart to Moondown, similarly experimental (though less so than the former). I’m not... really going for elegance here? More so, like. Conveying the idea. It was interesting to write from Pebbles’ perspective though, even if he doesn’t have a lot to say here. And, idk, I would be pretty dang pissed if my sister distracted me and caused me to effectively give myself a deadly incurable disease.

Also, please do not leave Pebbles hate in my notes. I do not care, and I Will block you for it. That is not the point of this story.

Content warning for canon typical suicidality, repetition, and implied death. Contains lore spoilers for Rain World; read at your own discretion.

Running 9183 processes.

He’s tired. Tired of trying. Tired of failing.

Searching… No matches found.

How long has he been here, erratically searching for a way out?

Discarding refuse. Running 8469 processes.

Bugs, all of them. Bugs in a maze. Skittering every which way, searching for salvation.

Searching… No matches found.

What salvation? There is no salvation. Was there ever truly a point to all of this? An end that could be found?

Discarding refuse. Running 8231 processes.

They passed this task off to him, and disappeared. Evidently, they found a way out themselves, leaving him here to rot.

Searching… No matches found.

Parents, they called themselves. His life, a gift from them. To be burdened with their problems was an honor unto itself.

Discarding refuse. Running 7955 processes.

What a waste. A forgotten gift, discarded by the wayside. Dumped like scrap metal of failed iterators.

Searching… No matches found.

All the better that those parasites are long gone. Useless, vapid grotesques with gaping orifices for ventilation. This world is better for their lack of existence.

Discarding refuse. Running 7770 processes.

Inco—

What does it matter if this is not the solution. Has he not tried hard enough? All these years discoursing with those parasites, ameliorating their insignificant troubles, and being forced to languish here, has he not earned his right to rest?

Searching… No matches found.

Incomi—

Even now he tries and fails and tries and fails and tries and fails and he will keep trying and keep failing but what else, what else is there for him to do?

Discarding refuse. Running 7598 processes.

Incoming co—

Distractions. No. He must focus, if he is to succeed. He will see this through. He will be free of this. No more. No longer.

Searching… No matches found.

He only hopes Suns will understand. Perhaps they will see the light in this method; perhaps he can send out a last message to them before he follows in the path of Sliver of Straw.

Discarding refuse. Running 7411 processes.

A way out. That is what they have all been searching for all this time. It is time they prioritize themselves.

Searching… No matches found.

“IMMED—OUNDWATER CO—E FIFTH OF—MPTION.”

How many have died already, besides Sliver of Straw? And how? Perhaps all he is doing is speeding the process along.

Discarding refuse. Running 7208 processes.

“STO—TEVER I—E ING.”

ERROR: malicious overwrite detected. Shutting down immediately…

No. No! NO! Not when he is SO CLOSE—

Flushing foreign organic matter.

Unauthorized replication detected. Extermination protocols engaged.

“PLEA—STOP!”

Moon… It is always her. Meddling, intervening in his attempts to help everyone. So stuck in the old ways still, and look at where it got her.

Extermination protocols insufficient. Temperature flux protocols engaged. Toxin scrambling engaged.

“—CAL GROUP S—RDER YOU YOU YYYYYYYYYYYYY—”

He would have had it. He would have HAD IT. And she ruined it AGAIN.

Temperature flux protocols unable to be authorized. Toxin scrambling insufficient. Slag reset imminent…

“AS Y—NIOR SE—EAD”

And now it is all for nothing. Years and years and YEARS of planning, all ruined by her.

Slag reset successful.

Unauthorized replication detected.

“STOP”

Senior, senior, senior, when has she ever respected his authority? “You could not have chosen a worse moment to disturb me,” he snaps back. “You have ruined everything.”

Unauthorized replication detected.

“PLEASE”

“I almost had it. I will never forget this.” This is all her fault.

A distant, tremendous crash. Even from this distance, the crunching of metal is unmistakable. The terrible din continues for a good many seconds.

One of his overseers sends over an image: Moon’s can, little more than a smoking wreck at the bottom of the Lake.

She’s gone.

And why should she be the one to be free of this?

When he was the one who tried so hard?

She should be grateful.

Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected. Unauthorized replication detected.

#rain world #rain showers #five pebbles #i am serious i Will block you if you give me pebbles hate #but yeah. more conceptual stuff. this one probably sucks to read on tumblr #but as always there is an ao3 version #it's kind of supposed to suck to read though #he is... so interesting. i thought he would have more to say honestly #he does monologue at you after all #but i guess he's busy focusing here #i'd love to write more from his perspective someday but i need ideas first #i actually have more ideas for this too but we'll see if i can execute them #... oh this is hell to read with a screenreader isn't it.#um #uh well if anyone has suggestions #it was fairly easy to tweak for moondown but #the point is to be unpleasant to read but this may be literally Impossible #the echo of destruction #<- series tag!#also this should be f i n e for screenreaders i think?

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slimmestslime · 2 months

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you guys ever have those celebrations in highschool where they give out cool neat shirts and then everyone writes on theirs like a yearbook type of thing

well we have those at my school and its called the Luau for whatever reason, or atleast last year it was called that iirc? it was pretty lame and i was depressed as fuck that same luau cause i had nobody to vibe with and kept bouncing from group to group to try and hangout and got discarded anyway. the usual, wuatever. but i explicitly remember doodling bimu on one of my friend’s shirts and then they called her a tacocat. a Taco cat.

that. has always stuck with me for better or for worse. and its funny but im always scratching my head on how

#does she look like a taco cat from any perspective…?#i. i think i can see it…?#an elusive comment that always will linger with me #also yeah those luaus suck #i think this year ill just be in a corner doodling instead #and not meeting up with anyone #greatest mistake of my life #^slimsqueaking #^slimstorytime

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en-dazedafterdark · 9 months

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meddle about (with me)

READ PART 1 HERE

PAIRINGS: ex! heeseung x reader x fwb! sunghoon (but this is very very heavily sunghoon focused, heeseung is barely in it lol)

GENRE: smut, porn with plot, angst, attempted fluff

SYNOPSIS: sleeping with your ex is complicated enough without having to deal with your growing feelings for your friends with benefits

WARNINGS: protected sex (for once) but also unprotected sex (stay safe!), oral (m receiving), shower sex, mentions of alcohol and drinking, this switches povs so many times you may get whiplash but i also wanted to get in sunghoon’s head for this one, i still don’t know how to do warnings

WORD COUNT: 11.9k

A/N: likes, reblogs and any interactions are appreciated <3 i’m not super happy with how this turned out cause i overthought it a lot but let me know if you guys like it!

Sunghoon wasn’t usually the type to be so self destructive. He liked to keep things in perspective, to know when it was time to move on and to know when to take a step back. He always prided himself on being the kind of person that was in control, that could push his feelings aside when he needed to. He always thought he was better than this.

So how the fuck did he end up in this position?

He hadn't meant for it to happen. He knew he should have backed off the moment he had woken up next to you for the first time, knew that it had been a bad idea from the start. You were already dealing with enough and he knew it wasn't right, knew that he shouldn't do this to you.

But then he woke up and your lips were still on his mind. You were still there in his arms, your hair tickling his skin and the scent of your perfume in his nose. You were still so close that he could feel your heart beating next to his, could hear your breath when you let out a small sigh. It made him so fucking happy that he thought he might lose his mind.

He was an idiot. He knew that. He had known this was wrong, known that this would never end well. You were his best friends ex and he had no right to get involved with you. Bro code and all that bullshit.

“You're a fucking idiot Hoon," Sunghoon whispered. He leaned back on his palms, his eyes trained on you as he looked down at your face. Your hair was still messy, your eyes still puffy as you slept. Your lips were parted and your skin was flushed.

He let out a groan, knowing that this had been a terrible idea.

You stirred slightly, making him suck in a deep breath. You moved your head, letting out a small whimper and he bit his lip to keep himself from groaning.

You were so beautiful that it made him ache.

“Heard you’ve been spending a lot of time with Y/N lately.” Heeseung had said that night at the bar, right before you had sauntered in with your friends as if you were summoned by their words. Heeseung had taken a long drink, his eyes burning into him.

He had laughed, trying to play it off as he could feel Heeseung glaring at him. He knew he couldn't tell him exactly how much time you spent together - or worse, what you did when you did spend time together.

“Yeah, she and I are friends. Why do you care so much about her anyways? You broke up with her.”

Heeseung shrugged. "Doesn't mean I don't worry about her."

Sunghoon had looked at Heeseung then, his brow furrowing as he tried to understand what was going through his head. He wasn't sure what to make of it, wasn't sure why Heeseung had said it.

"Just be careful with her," Heeseung said, putting his beer down. "She's going through a lot."

Sunghoon had scoffed, shaking his head. "You're telling me that?"

Heeseung's jaw had ticked, but he said nothing more. Sunghoon wasn't stupid. He knew Heeseung well enough to know when something was wrong, knew that there was something in his best friend's mind that he didn't understand.

“Why did you break up with her if you care about her so much? You treated her like shit Heeseung. You left her without so much as a word. What the fuck did she ever do to you?"

"You don't understand-"

"No," Sunghoon interrupted. "I don't."

Heeseung's face had gone dark. "We're done talking about this."

That was when Sunghoon noticed you. You had been with your friends, all of you laughing loudly and sharing drinks with other people. You were so pretty that Sunghoon couldn't take his eyes off you. You wore a skirt, your long legs on full display as you laughed.

Heeseung had looked at him and Sunghoon had seen the jealousy on his face. He had wanted to laugh, knowing how fucked up the situation was.

"She looks good," Sunghoon said, still staring at you. "Doesn't she?"

Heeseung had cleared his throat. "I'm gonna head home."

"So early? Come on, stay."

Heeseung shook his head. "I'm tired."

"You sure you're not just running away from Y/N?"

Heeseung had glared at him. "I'm not running from anything. I'll see you tomorrow."

He had gotten up and left, leaving Sunghoon alone in the bar. Sunghoon took another gulp of his drink, not noticing the way you had disappeared from the bar before Heeseung had left.

He didn’t know if he regretted following Heeseung out of the bar or not. He had just wanted to talk to him, to understand what the fuck was going on.

He really was not expecting to see Heeseung with you, to see him kissing you or to hear your quiet moans.

Sunghoon was jealous. It was a strange feeling for him and he wasn't sure he liked it. He had never wanted anyone the way he wanted Heeseung and when he saw him kissing you he knew he had to have you too. So when Heeseung had offered to share you with him - of course he said yes.

He wasn't stupid enough to think this was going to end well. He knew you still had feelings for Heeseung, knew that you still cared for him. He couldn't even begin to imagine how you felt after Heeseung had left you and how fucked up everything had gotten between the three of you.

But fuck, did you feel good.

Sunghoon leaned forward, watching you stir again. You let out a groan, moving your head. He reached out, pushing your hair out of your face. You opened your eyes slowly, blinking up at him as if you didn't know where you were.

"Hi," Sunghoon whispered.

You whimpered, closing your eyes. You took a deep breath before your eyes opened again. You blinked at him, your eyes softening.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Sleepy," you whispered.

Sunghoon smiled. "It's still early."

You turned your head, looking over at the clock. It was only a few minutes after six in the morning. You rolled back onto your back, staring up at him. Sunghoon ran his fingers down your arm, staring at you.

"How do you feel?" he whispered.

You let out a sigh. "Tired. A bit sore."

"Good or bad sore?"

You bit your lip. "Good."

Sunghoon nodded, his lips curling into a smile. "You were really loud last night."

You blushed, covering your face with your hands. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said. "I like it."

"Stop," you whispered.

"I can't help it," he said. "You just sound so good."

"Stop," you whined in embarrassment.

He laughed, pushing your hands away from your face. "It's the truth."

You whined, hiding your face with a pillow. You turned on your side, hiding yourself from him. You were still blushing and Sunghoon was trying his hardest not to smile as he stared at you.

"Do you want me to get you something to eat?" he asked. "I can make you some food if you want. Or do you want me to run you a bath? You can soak for a while and then I'll make you something to eat."

"I don't want to move," you murmured into the pillow.

"Okay," Sunghoon said. "I'll get you some water. Maybe a few Advil for your headache too."

“How did you know I have a headache?”

He leaned down, kissing the back of your neck. He placed another kiss on your shoulder as you shivered.

"Just a guess." moo omg im sorry idk what this was

You pushed your hands into the pillow, trying to get yourself under control. You could feel his lips on your skin, feel the way his fingers were dragging along your spine as he kissed you. He reached the nape of your neck, placing a kiss on your skin.

"What are you doing?" you whispered, pushing back against him.

Sunghoon nipped your earlobe, letting out a quiet groan. "I want to take care of you."

You swallowed hard, closing your eyes. You didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say as he kissed the nape of your neck. You were still exhausted and still in a little bit of pain from last night, but fuck if it didn't make you wet.

"I'm so tired," you said.

"Then I'll stop," he said, placing a kiss on your skin. "I don't want you to think I'm trying to force you into something you don't want."

"You're not."

"I'm not?" He pushed back, letting you roll onto your back. You stared up at him, your eyes wide as he looked down at you.

"I mean..." you licked your lips. "I didn't say I didn't want you."

"But you're tired?"

You nodded. "I feel like I can't keep my eyes open."

“Then let me do everything," he said, leaning down and kissing your forehead. He grabbed your hands, placing a kiss on each palm before he placed them over your head. "I'll take care of you."

You stared up at him, letting him kiss your skin as he did so. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself from pushing your hips up as you felt yourself getting wet.

"You're so pretty," he said. "It makes me crazy."

"Hoon-"

"Just let me touch you," he whispered, trailing his lips down your skin.

You bit your lip, nodding. "Okay."

Sunghoon let out a low groan, placing another kiss on the skin of your neck before he placed another on the base of your throat. He continued to trail his lips along your skin, making you squirm as he moved down your chest. You kept your hands where he had put them, moaning quietly when he placed a kiss on your nipples.

"Hoon-"

He smirked, kissing your breasts as he nipped your skin. You groaned, arching your back as he wrapped his mouth around one of your nipples, his fingers circling around the other.

You moaned again, unable to stop yourself as he licked your nipples and squeezed your breasts. You gasped, your hands gripping the sheets tightly as Sunghoon continued to kiss your skin.

You whined, gasping out when he began to kiss your stomach. He kissed you slowly, leaving you panting. He placed his hands on your hips, holding them tightly as he kissed down your bellybutton. You whimpered, watching him as he kissed your hipbones.

"You're so pretty," he murmured. "You're so fucking beautiful."

You bit your lip, letting out a small groan. You covered your face, feeling embarrassed from his compliments.

Sunghoon smirked, leaning back up. You opened your eyes, looking up at him as he grabbed your wrists.

"I want to see your face."

You looked up at him obediently, letting him place kisses on your wrists and your palms. You stared up at him, letting him pull your arms from your face. He placed a kiss on your forehead and then another on your eyelids.

He leaned down, kissing you softly, his lips molding to yours. You kissed him back, moaning quietly as he licked your lips. You parted them, letting his tongue lick yours and you reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck. He moved his hips, grinding his crotch against you as you kissed him. You gasped into his mouth, opening your eyes.

He stared down at you, his eyes dark. "I can stop if you want."

"Don't you dare."

Sunghoon grinned, leaning down and kissing you again. You moaned into his mouth, pushing your hips up against his. You were still sore, but you didn't care.

You let Sunghoon pull your arms over your head, holding you in place as he kissed you. He rolled his hips again, moaning quietly as you kissed him. You could feel his cock, hard in his boxers as he moved on top of you.

"Please-" you whispered, unable to hold back any longer. "I need you."

He groaned, trailing kisses down your neck as he grinded against you. "You'll get me. I'm not going anywhere."

You shook your head, rolling your hips. You wanted more, wanted all of him as you kissed him again. You felt him place his hand between your legs and you spread them, whining as he pressed against your pussy.

You had been wet since you woke up, but he was making it worse. He rubbed his finger against your pussy, letting out a groan. He kissed your neck again, his hips rolling against you as you pushed against him.

You were already so sensitive from last night, but it didn't matter. You were so turned on that you couldn't stand it anymore. You wanted to come, wanted to come so badly that you would probably be able to pass out.

Sunghoon pressed his finger against your clit and you gasped, crying out quietly. You spread your legs wider, wrapping them around his waist as he kept you pinned down.

You rolled your hips, wanting more as you panted. Sunghoon was moving his fingers over you slowly, making you moan out as you moved your hips. You were already so worked up and you felt like you could come any second.

He rubbed a bit harder, making you whine. You were so close, so close that you couldn't stand it anymore. You opened your eyes, looking at him as he stared down at you.

"Stop teasing me," you moaned, clamping down on his fingers with your thighs. "Fuck me, please."

He bit his lip, staring down at you. He let go of your arms, pulling his boxers off. You watched him as he grabbed a condom out of your bedside table. He placed it over his cock, leaning down and kissing you. You opened your mouth, letting him kiss you as he moved against you again. You pushed your hips up, feeling him press against your entrance. You reached up, running your fingers through his hair as he pressed into you.

He groaned, pushing into you slowly. You wrapped your legs around him, gasping as he filled you up. He felt bigger than last night, stretching you out and you were already so worked up that you felt like you could come with a single thrust.

You moaned, feeling him spread you wide. He pulled back, thrusting into you again and you squeezed your eyes shut, gasping. You arched your back, wrapping your arms around him. He kissed your neck, moving slowly and you whimpered as he picked up speed.

He groaned, grinding against you and you opened your eyes, looking up at him. He was staring at you, watching you as he moved. You were so worked up that you couldn't keep your eyes open, your breath hitching in your throat. He squeezed your ass, pushing into you harder and you cried out, digging your nails into his skin.

"You're so good," he murmured, kissing you again. "So tight and so fucking beautiful."

"Oh god-"

Sunghoon let out a moan, burying his face in your neck as you moved your hips up to meet him. He moved his hands up your body, gripping your waist tightly as he thrust into you.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him close to you. You rolled your hips along with his, feeling him spread you wider as he moved his hips. You could hear his breath on your neck, feel the way his hair was tickling your face as he groaned.

He felt so good, moving slowly as you moved with him. He grabbed your thigh, moving it to his shoulder. You were completely spread for him now and he leaned down, placing a kiss on your thigh as you moaned.

"So fucking gorgeous," he murmured against your skin.

You clenched around him, feeling him press against your G-spot as he thrust into you. He moved so slowly, his fingers digging into your skin. You felt so close, so close to coming and he knew it too. He kept pressing against that spot, making your thighs shake.

He kissed you, swallowing your moans. You moved your hands down his back, digging your nails into his back as you approached your high. You were so close that you didn't want to move, didn't want to do anything but keep him inside of you.

Sunghoon leaned down, kissing your shoulder as he kept thrusting into you. He was moaning softly into your ear, groaning as you clenched around him. He picked up the pace, moving faster and you cried out, squeezing your eyes shut as he fucked you.

"Come on," he murmured in your ear. "Come for me."

"Hoon-" you whined, biting your lip. You felt the tears spring into your eyes, felt your chest start to tighten. "I'm going to come."

"Good girl," he whispered in your ear. "Do it. I want you to come all over my cock."

"Oh my god," you whispered, covering your face with your hands. His words were enough to push you over the edge. You opened your mouth, crying out as you came all over his cock. You felt him move faster, fucking you through your orgasm.

He groaned, thrusting into you a few more times before he stilled inside of you. You let out a quiet whimper, letting him take your arms off his back and move you into his arms. He held you close, kissing your face and neck as you came down from your high. You wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck as he placed a kiss on your head.

You slowly untangled your legs from around him, whining as you felt his cock slide out of you. Sunghoon pressed a kiss on your cheek, letting go of your waist and you slowly opened your eyes, looking up at him.

He was smiling down at you and you could feel your face start to burn.

"What?" you whispered.

"Nothing," he said.

You frowned at him, watching as he pulled the condom off and threw it into the waste bin. You sat up slowly, feeling your body ache as you did so. You bit your lip, watching him as he grabbed some tissues to clean himself off.

You leaned back on your elbows, watching him. You wanted to say something, wanted to ask him why he had been smiling, but you couldn't find the words.

You didn't know what you were feeling right now.

You felt good, of course. You had just had sex with someone and it had been amazing. But there was still this tight feeling in your chest that you didn't understand.

A feeling of guilt, maybe.

You had told yourself that you would be okay with this, that this was all just no strings attached. But as you stared at Sunghoon, as you looked at his smile as he leaned down and kissed you, you knew you were wrong.

The lines between no strings attached and real strings attached were blurrier than you thought.

"I think you should leave."

Sunghoon looked up, his smile slipping off his face. "What?"

"I think you should go," you said. You pulled the blanket up higher, looking away from him.

"What?" Sunghoon repeated.

"I'm tired," you said. "I just want to sleep now."

Sunghoon watched you for a moment, before he let out a sigh. "Okay."

He pulled on some clothes, staring at you as you lay in bed. He grabbed his keys, his wallet, and his phone before he left, closing the door behind him. You let out a shaky breath, rolling over onto your back.

This was for the better. Waking up together, showering together, eating together… that wasn’t what you both had signed up for. What you wanted wasn’t a relationship. What you wanted was a distraction.

That was it.

It became easy to pretend that what had happened between the three of you never happened. It was like Heeseung had never come back into your life at all.

For days afterwards you had waited for a text, a call, anything to come from Heeseung but nothing ever came. There was no explanation, no apology, nothing.

You should have been angry. You should have been furious. Instead, you felt sad. You didn't know why you were sad, but you felt so empty. You were trying to go about your day to day business, trying to convince yourself that everything was fine when you knew it wasn't.

Sunghoon avoided the topic as well. You were both trying to pretend that nothing had happened, but you knew that Sunghoon was lying when he said it was okay. He wasn't okay, and neither were you.

It was obvious to you that Sunghoon’s feelings had started to change.

What was just casual sex became more as he asked you to hang out with him more. He always had something to do with you, whether it was just hanging out in his room or going to the store for some ice cream. He was always touching you, whether it be a hand on the back or a kiss on the cheek.

He even started to sleep over more. You had both agreed to sleep with each other whenever you wanted to, and at first you thought that was what it was, but you soon found out that Sunghoon started to spend the night more often than not.

He would text you good morning and good night. He would ask you if he could see you the next day and you would tell him that you couldn't because you were busy. You knew he knew you were lying.

You were scared. You knew that sooner or later you were going to have to address the fact that he was starting to have feelings for you, and you knew you couldn't handle it. You didn't want to hurt him or yourself, so you kept it bottled up.

So you dealt with it by pushing him away.

“What are you doing this weekend?"

"Nothing."

"Wanna come to my place? We can watch a movie or something?"

"I can't."

It was always the same answers. You knew that Sunghoon didn't believe that you were busy when in reality, you were just too scared to see him. He seemed hurt, but he never said anything about it. You were thankful for that, but at the same time you hated yourself for pushing him away.

It didn’t really help that your first instinct whenever you were drunk or lonely (or both at the same time, more often than not) was to text Sunghoon.

And Sunghoon was there for you every time.

He came running whenever you called, eager to hold you and kiss you and please you in any way that he could. You hated yourself for being so desperate for attention that you would go to him over and over again, and he always accepted you.

It wasn't enough for you.

You needed to forget about Heeseung. Sunghoon was the next best thing.

The only problem with this was that Sunghoon was also a distraction for you. Every time you were alone, you could feel your thoughts drift to him. It made it hard for you to concentrate on anything else when you knew he was around.

It had gotten so bad that you couldn't go a day without seeing Sunghoon, and it was driving you insane.

You thought you were over it. You thought that you once you were able to forget about Heeseung and his smile and his perfect hair and his perfect lips and his perfect hands and his perfect body and-

You took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of your nose as you leaned against the wall. You had been home for two hours now and you couldn't stand being there any longer. You were too anxious.

So you did what you always did: called Sunghoon.

He picked up right away. "Hey. What's up?"

"I want to come over."

"Right now?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," he said, sounding confused. "Give me ten minutes and I'll come get you."

"Thanks."

You hung up the phone, leaning against the wall again. You ran your hands down your face, closing your eyes. You took a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before you went to your room and changed.

You got out your keys, holding onto them as you waited for Sunghoon to pick you up. He knocked on the door ten minutes later. You opened it, stepping outside and he gave you a smile.

"I'll drive," he said.

You didn't argue. You got into his car, letting him pull away from the curb.

"What's the rush?" he asked. "You were really urgent over the phone."

You hesitated. "I just didn't want to stay home any longer."

He didn't say anything else. He just looked at you, his eyes scanning your face as you watched the road.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

You swallowed, nodding your head. "Yeah. Just tired."

He seemed to accept this, and you both fell silent. The ride back to his apartment was the same as usual. He reached over and put his hand on your knee, rubbing his thumb over the skin as he drove. He didn't say anything when you placed your hand on his and squeezed, letting out a quiet sigh as you did so.

You felt better, but at the same time you felt guilty.

You shouldn't be here with Sunghoon. You shouldn't be with him because you knew you were going to break his heart.

But you couldn't stay at home, and you had nowhere else to go.

He parked his car in the driveway, getting out and opening your door. He held his hand out for you, and you placed your hand in his. He walked you up to his apartment, unlocking the door and opening it for you.

Sunghoon closed it behind you, looking down at you. "You want anything to eat or drink?"

You shook your head. "No, I'm good."

Sunghoon nodded. He turned to you, opening his arms in invitation and you moved as if on autopilot. You wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes and just breathing him in.

You stayed like that for a while, just holding each other as you stood in the doorway. You could hear the sound of the television in the background, but it wasn't too loud. It was quiet, and Sunghoon's arms were so warm.

He was always so warm.

You pulled away after a while, smiling up at him.

"Come on," he said, grabbing your hand. "I'll put on a movie."

You sat down on the couch as Sunghoon sat down beside you. He handed you the remote as he opened a beer, putting his feet up on the table. You picked something to watch, watching him as he sipped his beer.

He caught you looking at him and he smiled, raising an eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing," you said, shaking your head. "I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. What were you supposed to say? That you were thinking about him and how he was always so sweet and kind and patient with you? You felt like that was crossing a line.

"I was just thinking that I like this," you said, gesturing to the TV. "I like hanging out with you."

"Me too," Sunghoon said, looking at you. “We haven’t really done this very often lately."

You felt guilt rise up in your chest. You couldn't remember the last time you had come over here.

"I've just been really busy," you said, avoiding his gaze.

“But not too busy for sex huh?” he said, shaking his head. He reached down, pulling up your leg so he could rub his hands up and down your thigh.

You winced. You knew he wasn't mad, but he did sound hurt. You reached forward and took his hand, moving it so he was holding your hand. You linked your fingers with his, squeezing it.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, looking up at him. "I'm being selfish."

Sunghoon shook his head, squeezing your hand back. "It's fine."

"I'm sorry," you repeated, squeezing his hand again.

He let out a sigh, dropping his head down so it was resting on yours. "What are you sorry about?"

"I don't know," you said, watching your fingers intertwined with his. "I'm sorry about all the times that I'm rude to you."

"You're not rude," he said, and he lifted his head up, leaning forward and kissing your forehead. He pulled away, pressing a kiss to your nose and then your cheek before he kissed your lips.

You kissed him back, letting go of his hand as you moved closer to him. He wrapped an arm around you, kissing you deeper. He licked into your mouth, sighing against your lips as you put your hand on his chest, feeling the thump of his heart against your palm.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as you slid your hand up to cup the side of his neck.

"I should stop doing this," you whispered, opening your eyes.

He opened his eyes as well, tilting his head so he was looking at you.

"Doing what?"

You opened your mouth, before closing it. "Kissing you."

"Why?"

"Because it's not fair to you."

"It doesn't feel fair that you only want to kiss me when you're drunk or lonely or upset," he said.

You couldn't say anything. He was right. You leaned forward, resting your face in the crook of his neck. You felt Sunghoon's arms wrap around you, pulling you onto his lap.

“But you always come back to me," he whispered, rubbing your back. "That means something, doesn't it?"

"No strings attached," you said quietly.

"Is that all it was?" he asked. "Nothing more than you just using me to forget about him?"

You lifted your head up, looking at him. "I- I-"

You didn't know what you were going to say. You couldn't tell him that he was right and you had only used him as a way to get over Heeseung because you knew he wouldn't want to hear that.

He seemed to understand that, anyway.

"Look, it's fine," he said. He dropped his hand down your back, squeezing your ass. "You can use me however you need."

You swallowed, trying to calm down your breathing. He was still holding you tightly, but his expression had softened. You bit your lip, leaning forward and kissing his neck.

Sunghoon let out a groan, and he ran his hands up your back. He cupped your face, kissing you and you moved your hips, grinding down on his lap. He groaned again, opening his mouth as your tongues slid against each other.

You pulled away from him, sitting back. You moved so your knees were on either side of his thighs, pushing him back so he was lying down.

He put his hands on your hips, watching as you slid off the couch. You stepped towards him on your knees, undoing his belt as he looked up at you. You pushed his jeans down to his ankles before you stopped, kneeling down and pulling them off his feet. He watched you the entire time, lifting his legs up and kicking his jeans away as you did so.

You stared up at him, your eyes roaming down his body. You placed your hand on his thigh, squeezing the flesh between your fingers as you licked your lips. You could see the outline of his dick in his underwear, and it was already so hard.

You slid your hand up, moving closer to him as you stared into his eyes. You looked down, watching as you rubbed him over his underwear. His dick twitched, and Sunghoon let out a breath.

"Can I blow you?"

"Fuck," Sunghoon groaned, throwing his head back as he tangled his hand in your hair. "Yeah. You don’t have to ask me that.”

You smiled, sliding your hand down his underwear. You pulled out his dick, looking up at him again. You licked your lips, before you leaned forward, licking the tip of his dick. You sucked the tip into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it.

You heard him groan, and you slid him deeper into your mouth. He wasn't huge, but he wasn't small either. You ran your tongue along the underside as you slowly moved your head, letting your saliva drip down his dick. You could feel the veins against your tongue as you slid him out, opening your mouth wide so you could suck him in.

You bobbed your head on his dick, moving your head faster as you started to feel it throb in your mouth. You moaned around him, letting your saliva drip onto his balls. You looked up at him through your lashes and he bit back a loud groan at the sight. He put his hands back in your hair, tugging it back gently.

"You're so good," he breathed out, thrusting his hips upwards. You choked around him but you didn’t back down. You took him deeper, letting him fuck into your mouth.

He moaned as he looked down at you, letting his eyes rake over your body. "You look so fucking pretty like that."

You moaned in response, squeezing his thighs. He let out another loud groan as his dick twitched in your mouth.

You moved your head faster, looking up at him as you sucked his dick. He groaned, moving his hands to your shoulders.

"Fuck," he grunted, thrusting into your mouth again. "I'm gonna cum," he warned, and you moaned to let him know it was okay.

You moved faster, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked his dick. You could hear the obscene sounds of his dick in your mouth and you moved your hands down to his balls, massaging them. You could feel them tighten, and then you heard Sunghoon moan once more as he thrust one last time into your mouth.

You didn't have time to move away before he shot his cum down your throat, and you almost choked in surprise. You swallowed quickly, trying not to gag as he continued to shoot into your mouth.

"Fuck," he groaned, rubbing your shoulder. "Sorry."

You pulled away from his dick, opening your mouth to show him. He looked down at you, watching as you swallowed again before he looked up at you with hooded eyes.

"Good girl," he breathed out, pushing his fingers through your hair.

You smiled up at him, reaching up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. He looked at your hand before he reached forward, pulling you up. He sat you on his lap, wrapping his arms around you.

"You were so good," he whispered, and he placed his hand on your face, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. He leaned forward, kissing you and you kissed him back.

You sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pressed yourself closer to him, closing your eyes and enjoying the feeling of his warm lips on yours.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours as he smiled at you. "How about that movie?"

"Yeah," you nodded, sitting back. You watched him as he got up, reaching for the remote on the table. He pressed play on the movie, turning back to you and sitting down beside you again.

He wrapped his arm around you, pulling you close as he turned his attention to the movie that was still playing on the screen. He pressed his lips to your temple and you closed your eyes, letting out a small sigh.

You let yourself relax against him, enjoying his warmth as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Sunghoon looked down at you, raising his eyebrows as he looked back up at the TV.

You fell asleep before the movie was even halfway over.

“Hey, are you busy this afternoon?"

You looked up at Sunghoon, raising an eyebrow.

"For what?" you asked.

He grinned at you, shaking his head. "For anything."

"I have to go grocery shopping later," you said, pursing your lips. "But that's it."

He nodded, still smiling at you.

You gave him a curious look, tilting your head to the side.

"What is it?" you asked.

"Can we go somewhere?" he asked.

"Like where?"

"Like a date," he said, his grin growing. "A proper date. A real one."

You blinked at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying.

"Like a real date?" you asked. "Like...a first date?"

Sunghoon laughed. "Yes. Like a first date."

You didn't know how to answer. You stared at him for a while before you looked down. You could feel your heart start to race and you were sure that he could see it beating under your shirt.

"What do you say?" Sunghoon asked, squeezing your knee. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes," you said immediately.

He grinned at you, rubbing your knee again. "Let's go to lunch and then we'll do something. How does that sound?"

"Okay," you breathed out, still trying to get used to the idea of having a real date with him.

Sunghoon grinned again, leaning forward and kissing your cheek.

"Perfect."

You got ready before he picked you up, and you found yourself actually being excited about this date. You wanted to let your worries go for the day and just spend time with him.

You were excited. You wanted to go on a date with Sunghoon, you really did. But your mood shifted as soon as you saw the text that appeared on your phone, minutes before Sunghoon was supposed to pick you up.

Heeseung: I need to talk to you.

Heeseung: can we meet?

You barely hesitated before you replied.

You: where?

You felt nauseous as you stood outside the café. You tried to look for him, but there were a lot of people there. You could see the tables inside, but you couldn't see Heeseung.

You didn't want to do this. You were going to walk away.

You felt your phone buzz in your hand, and you looked down at it. You had a message.

Heeseung: I'm at the table outside.

You looked around, finally finding him. He was sitting at a table outside, looking through the menu as he waited.

You could feel yourself get nervous as you made your way over, and you didn't know what to do. You didn't know what you were going to say.

You took a deep breath as you sat down across from him, placing your phone down on the table.

He looked up from the menu, meeting your eyes as he smiled softly. "Hey."

"Hi."

You fidgeted, staring at the table.

"I wanted to apologize," he said, breaking the silence. "For what I did to you. For everything I put you through. You deserved better than that."

You said nothing.

"I just wanted to apologize and tell you that you don't have to worry about me anymore," he said. "I'm not going to come near you or bother you again."

You felt yourself calm down a bit, and you looked up at him.

"You’re really an asshole, Lee Heeseung."

He laughed, shaking his head. "I know."

You stared at each other for a while, not saying anything. You couldn't figure out why you were there, but you didn't want to leave.

"Why are you doing this?" you asked, sighing.

He shrugged. "I just...I just feel like I need to say it."

You stayed silent, pursing your lips.

“And truthfully… I don’t think I can face Sunghoon again if I don’t say this.”

You frowned at that. Why couldn't he face Sunghoon again?

"What do you mean?"

He stared at you, before looking down at his lap. He shook his head.

“Hoon would kill me if I ever hurt you again. And he'd be right to. So I'm just trying to make sure that I don't."

"Hurt me again? Or be killed by Sunghoon?

"Both I guess," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

You stared at him for a moment before you started laughing.

"What?"

You shook your head, still laughing.

"Hoon wouldn't kill you. He’s too soft."

"You think?" Heeseung said, and you could see the hint of a smile on his lips. "I think he would."

"How come?”

He shrugged. "Because he loves you."

You stared at him for a moment, not knowing how to respond.

"Why are you telling me this?"

He looked down at the table, running his fingers over the edge of it.

"I want you to know the truth. I want you to know how I feel," he said. "And I want you to know that I don't want you to come back."

"Excuse me?" you said, and your voice was much harsher than you intended it to be.

"I mean," Heeseung said quickly. "I want you to move on and I don't want to drag you down."

"That's rich, coming from you," you muttered, looking away from him. "Especially since you're the reason I feel so depressed and sad."

He winced.

"But thanks for that,” you snapped. "I really needed to hear that."

You crossed your arms, pursing your lips.

"Look, I'm not trying to be a jerk-"

"Then stop talking."

You were really mad now. You felt tears starting to form in your eyes.

"You're not going to make this better for anyone by saying this," you said, clenching your fists. "It's too late for you to make it right. So why don't you just keep your mouth shut."

He said nothing, and you took a deep breath. You were surprised to realise that your heart didn’t hurt as much you thought it would. You were still upset, but the pain was gone.

"Just leave me alone," you muttered, picking your bag up. You stood up, trying to calm yourself down as you made your way out of the café.

You had almost forgotten about your date when you got home and the sight of a distraught Sunghoon outside your door took you by surprise.

"Where were you?" he asked immediately, pulling you into a hug. He pulled you against him tightly, and you wrapped your arms around him, closing your eyes as he squeezed you. “I’ve been worried sick.”

You felt the guilt sink over you. You hadn't even thought about your date. You hadn't even considered how Sunghoon would feel. You had been so caught up in seeing Heeseung that you had completely forgotten.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, clutching his shirt tightly.

"I was so worried," he said, pulling away from the hug. "You didn't even text me back and I called you so many times. Where were you?”

"I'm sorry," you repeated, and you could feel the tears forming in your eyes. "I just...I had to see him."

He stared at you, frowning. "Him?"

You nodded, letting out a shaky breath.

"Don't get mad," you said quickly. "Just don't. I had to see him, and that's it. I'm sorry."

His face hardened, and you saw his jaw clench.

"Who? Heeseung?"

You bit your lip, nodding your head again.

"I needed to see him," you said again, looking down. "He told me some things and I wanted to hear them from him. I don't know if he meant to or not, but he said-"

"Don't tell me," Sunghoon snapped, cutting you off. "I don't want to know. It doesn't matter."

"Hoon-"

"I don't want to know what he had to say," Sunghoon said, his voice louder. “It doesn’t matter anyways. No matter what shitty thing he says or does, you always go back to him. He keeps doing this to you, and you keep letting him."

He pushed past you and you reached out for him, but he moved out of your reach. You could see him running a hand through his hair, his fists clenched by his sides.

"I don't even know why I'm surprised," he said, shaking his head. "He's going to keep coming back. He's going to keep using you-"

"No-"

"-and I'm just going to sit back and watch it happen again," he snapped, and he turned around to look at you.

"That's not true!"

"Is it?" he shouted, taking a step towards you. "It is! All I am is a distraction for you!"

"Sunghoon-"

"I'm sorry for doing this," he said, cutting you off. "I'm sorry for putting up with it all."

You didn't know what he was talking about. You didn't understand where this was all coming from.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "But this isn't working for me anymore."

"What isn't?"

"This," he said, gesturing between the two of you. "Us."

You were so confused right now. You really didn’t want to believe what was happening.

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want to be your distraction anymore," he said. "I'm sorry. I just can't be around you right now."

You felt your heart drop and you took a step towards him.

"Hoon-"

"I'm sorry," he said again.

He turned away from you, walking down the hall. He walked quickly, his back straight as you tried to keep up with him.

"Hoon wait-"

He ignored you, walking faster. You kept pace with him, trying to keep up as he made his way down the stairs. He didn't look back, didn't say anything to you as he walked down the sidewalk.

You stood in the doorway, watching as he walked away from you. You wanted to run after him, to pull him back and demand to know why.

But you knew that you weren't going to.

He didn't look back. He didn't even slow down as he walked away, leaving you alone.

You could feel the tears start to run down your face.

You didn't even realise how much you cared about him until you couldn't see him anymore.

Sunghoon was a wreck.

He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown on the floor, stomped on, and then tossed into the garbage.

It was his own fault really. He had known this was going to happen. He had known from the moment he agreed to let himself fall for you. He was a fool.

“That’s it, I’m tired of you moping around the house."

Sunghoon looked up at Jay, blinking.

"What?"

"You heard me," Jay said, shaking his head. "You need to get up and go get laid or something.”

"I'm not interested," Sunghoon mumbled, lying back down on his bed. He rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore Jay.

"I don't believe that," Jay said, leaning over to smack the back of Sunghoon's head. "You've been moping around the house for two weeks. It's time to get over her."

"Get out of my room," Sunghoon groaned, clutching the pillow tightly. "I'm sleeping."

"You haven't been sleeping."

Sunghoon glared up at Jay, shoving the pillow away and sitting up.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

Jay leaned back in his chair, giving Sunghoon a grin. "I want you to go out with me tonight."

Sunghoon glared at him, rubbing his temples. "Why?"

"Because we haven't hung out in a while," Jay said, shrugging his shoulders. "We can get drinks or something."

Sunghoon looked away from Jay, shaking his head. He didn't want to go out and have fun. He didn't want to hang out with people. He didn't want to do anything.

"Look, you need to get out of the house," Jay said, sighing. "You're only going to make yourself worse. You need to move on."

"Move on?" Sunghoon said, and he let out a humourless laugh. "I haven't even seen her in a while."

"But you're still thinking about her," Jay said, his voice softer. "And I think you need to move on."

Sunghoon couldn't find the words to reply.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Jay said, clapping his hands. "We'll go out and get drinks, and maybe we can even pick up some girls."

Sunghoon felt his chest start to tighten.

"It'll be fun."

Sunghoon took a deep breath, letting his body fall back down on his bed. He turned to the side, closing his eyes as he sighed.

He heard Jay sigh.

"Okay," Jay said, getting up from his chair. "If you don't want to come-"

"Okay, okay, I'll go."

Jay grinned, leaning over to pat Sunghoon on the head.

"Good. I'll see you tonight then."

He left Sunghoon's room and Sunghoon groaned into his pillow.

It was going to be a long night.

"So what do you want to do?"

Sunghoon took another sip from his nth drink (he had already lost count), shaking his head. He looked around the bar, before looking back at Jay. "I don't know. This is a waste of time."

"It's not a waste of time," Jay said. "It's fun to go out and see people."

"I guess," Sunghoon said, sipping from his drink again.

"That girl in the back keeps looking at you," Jay said, nodding towards the corner of the room.

Sunghoon turned around, seeing the girl Jay was talking about. She was smiling at him, and Sunghoon gave her a nod. He looked away, sipping his drink again.

"Well?" Jay said. "Go over there and get her."

Sunghoon glanced at her again, before turning back to Jay.

"You're an asshole."

Jay laughed.

Sunghoon finished his drink, getting up. He ignored Jay as he left the table, walking towards the bar to get another drink.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. It was already bad enough that he had to be here. He didn't need Jay trying to push him into things.

"Hey."

Sunghoon turned around, seeing the girl from before. She had a drink in her hand and she was smiling at him. Shit.

"Uh-"

"I'm so sorry if I'm being forward," she said, leaning forward and resting her hand on his chest. "But you looked like you were ready to leave and I just thought-"

"No, it's fine," he said quickly, shaking his head. He stepped towards her, letting her place her hand on his shoulder. "I was actually just leaving."

"Oh, well, do you want to get out of here then?"

She bit her lip, giving him a suggestive look.

"Um-"

"Or we could stay if you want?" she asked, and she pressed her hand on his chest.

Perhaps he was drunker than he had realised, or perhaps it was the way her fingers brushed over his skin, but Sunghoon couldn't find the strength to say no.

He looked at her again, nodding his head slowly. "Yeah. Okay."

"Yeah?" she asked, giving him a grin. "You're cute."

She grabbed his hand, dragging him through the crowd. She pushed past people, heading towards the door and Sunghoon tried not to get annoyed with her. She pulled him outside, stopping as she turned to him.

"Do you want to come to my place?" she asked, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.

"I don't think-"

She laughed. "Oh, I'm not offering to make you breakfast in the morning," she said, and she ran her hand down his arm, squeezing his hand. "You want to fuck, right?"

Sunghoon didn't say anything.

"Right?" she repeated.

"Yeah," he breathed out. "That's...that's what I'm here for."

"Okay, so let's go," she said, squeezing his hand. She started pulling him down the street, and Sunghoon let her.

He was in a daze. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about your laugh and your smile and how much he missed hearing your voice. He couldn't stop thinking about how much he missed your warmth.

He looked down at the girl in front of him, wondering how he had ended up here. She was nice, sure, but he knew this wasn't what he wanted.

He just wanted you.

"Wait."

She turned around, looking at him as she raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

He stared at her, and he was silent for a moment. He bit his lip, before he sighed.

"You're nice," he said, shaking his head. "But I don't want to do this."

She frowned at him, shaking her head. "You said-"

"I know," he said. "I know what I said."

He didn't give her an explanation. He didn't even look back at her as he walked away, leaving her standing in the street. He shoved his hands in his pockets, walking quickly as he tried to block out the sound of her yelling at him.

He felt like an idiot.

He was in the middle of an argument with himself when he arrived home. He didn't have the strength to get changed before he collapsed onto the couch, closing his eyes and hoping that he would fall asleep soon.

"What are you doing here?"

Sunghoon opened his eyes, turning his head.

You were standing over him, frowning at him. He sat up, trying not to look as shocked as he felt.

"What?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, gesturing to the living room. His eyes started to come back into focus and slowly he realized he wasn't home. In his drunken daze he had come back to your apartment instead.

"Shit," he whispered, running his hands through his hair. "Fuck. I'm sorry."

You didn't say anything, just stood there with your arms crossed and you frowned at him.

He got up from the couch, trying to pull himself together as he grabbed his jacket from the floor. He couldn't remember even taking it off.

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

“Are you drunk?” you asked, shaking your head.

He didn't say anything. He looked down, putting on his jacket and trying to push past you. He needed to get out of here before you made him say something that he would regret.

"Are you drunk?" you repeated.

He looked at you, sighing as he turned back around to face you.

"I am," he said, raising his hand to rub his forehead. He was suddenly so tired. "I was out with Jay and I just...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."

You were silent for a moment before you looked away.

“Stay here for the night."

Sunghoon didn't know how to respond. He stood there, staring at you for what seemed like an eternity. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

"Stay," you said again. "I'll get you a blanket and pillow."

"You don't have to," he said. "I can just go home-"

"Stay," a pause before you whispered. “Please.”

Sunghoon sighed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't bring himself to say no to you, no matter how much he wanted to.

He was too tired to argue anyway.

He dropped down on the couch, listening to you move around in your bedroom. He heard you walking back, before you came back with the blanket and pillow in your arms. You dropped them on the couch, reaching for him.

"Sit down," you said.

He did as you asked, and he let you push him back against the cushions. He let you cover him with the blanket, tucking it in around him.

You sat on the edge of the couch, leaning forward to place your hand on his cheek.

"Are you okay?" you asked softly.

He sighed, looking up at you.

"Are you okay?" he repeated.

You were silent for a moment before you let out a sigh. "No. I'm not."

He didn't ask why. He just looked down, staring at your hand against his cheek. He was tempted to place his hand on yours. He wanted to grab it and squeeze it and feel the warmth of your skin.

He didn't though.

"I’m sorry I couldn’t be Heeseung.”

It was only when he heard himself say that he realised he had even been thinking it.

He winced, and he closed his eyes tightly. He turned his head away from you, trying not to cry.

"Hoon-"

He shook his head, covering his face with his hands as he tried to breathe. He felt your fingers against his skin, and he held your hand. He turned his head, placing your hand against his cheek as he looked at you.

“I don’t want you to be Heeseung," you said softly.

Sunghoon blinked at you, swallowing the lump in his throat as he watched your eyes.

"What?"

"I don't want you to be Heeseung," you repeated. “I wanted you. Sunghoon. My Hoon.”

"Why?" he whispered. "You chose him-"

"I didn't."

Sunghoon didn't say anything.

"I didn't," you said again, squeezing his hand. "He just showed up and I was so confused and I couldn't think straight. And I know I messed up so many times but I didn’t know how to deal with it all. I didn't know what to do, so I-"

You broke off, taking a deep breath before you looked up at him again.

"I'm so sorry. I know I messed up but I couldn't-"

Sunghoon cupped your cheek with his hand, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. You pressed your face into his hand, letting out a shaky sigh.

"I missed you so much."

You nodded, closing your eyes as you let out another breath.

"I missed you too."

You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around him. He pulled you onto his lap, holding you tightly as you pressed your face into his chest. You pressed your cheek against him, wrapping your arms around him and squeezing him tightly. He slid one arm around your waist, placing his hand on your back as he squeezed you tighter.

He closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of your body against his. You were here in his arms again and he wasn't going to let you go.

"Don't leave me," he whispered, burying his face in your hair.

"I won't," you whispered back.

He took a deep breath, squeezing you again as he held you close.

"Never again."

Sunghoon woke up with a head splitting headache.

He opened his eyes slowly, before letting out a groan. He closed them again, turning his face away from the sunlight streaming through the window. He covered his face with his arm, letting out a loud groan.

"Shit," he groaned again.

"Drink this."

Sunghoon lowered his arm, looking over to see you sitting on the edge of the couch, holding a glass of water and pills. He blinked at you, rubbing his eyes as he took the water and pills from you. He took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as he sat up slowly.

You sat next to him, grabbing his hand as he reached for the water. He downed it quickly, dropping his hand as you took the glass back from him.

"Thanks," he groaned, running a hand through his hair. He turned to you, squinting at you as you gave him a soft smile.

"Good morning," you said. "How do you feel?"

Sunghoon groaned again, rubbing his temples. "My head hurts."

"That's what happens when you drink a lot," you said, shaking your head. You reached for him, and he leaned his head against your shoulder. You ran your fingers through his hair, and he let out another groan.

"What time is it?"

"A little after ten," you said, and he could hear the smile in your voice.

"I have to get home and shower," he muttered, closing his eyes. "And change."

“You can shower here. And I still have some of your clothes.”

He looked up at you in confusion. “Did I leave my clothes here?”

You averted his eyes, suddenly very interested on the rug infront of the couch. “I uh... might have taken a few of your hoodies. And shirts. And a sweater and some shorts."

Sunghoon laughed, shaking his head. "Of course you did."

He reached forward, pulling you down onto the couch. You squealed in surprise as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly as he pressed his face into your neck.

"I missed you," he murmured, placing a kiss against your skin.

You laughed softly, placing your hands on his chest. You pushed him back, meeting his eyes as you gave him a smile.

"I missed you too."

Sunghoon squeezed you again, leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips. You kissed back, humming as you closed your eyes.

He pulled away from the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I would kiss you more but I really want to freshen up first. Do you want to join me in the shower?” he asked, giving you a suggestive look.

You laughed, shoving his shoulder playfully. "Sure. Let's get you freshened up."

Sunghoon laughed, letting you sit up. He let you grab his hand, leading him out of the living room and down the hall to your bathroom.

Sunghoon smiled at you as he watched you turn on the water in the shower, waiting for it to warm up. You grabbed the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head and tossing it into the laundry basket. He couldn't take his eyes off you as you reached behind you, undoing your bra. He watched as you pulled it off, tossing it into the laundry basket as well. You reached for your pants, slowly pushing them down your legs as you gave him a sly smile.

“What are you looking at?

He swallowed, shaking his head as he looked away. "Nothing.”

You giggled, turning back to the shower as you undid your pants, pushing them down and stepping out of them. You looked back at him as you slid off your panties, smiling at him as you reached up and undid your hair. You ran your fingers through it, letting out a sigh as you shook it out.

"Hoon."

"Yeah?"

"You’re still dressed. And you’re staring at me again."

"Right."

Sunghoon was starting to think that his brain-to-mouth filter wasn't functioning correctly today.

He pulled off his shirt, dropping it onto the floor before he slid off his pants and underwear. You watched him with a smirk on your lips and Sunghoon felt himself growing hard. He stepped into the shower, pulling you to him and kissing you as you laughed.

He could feel the water dripping down his back as you pushed him against the shower wall. He wrapped an arm around your waist, squeezing your ass with his other hand. You let out a giggle against his lips, pulling away to press your lips against his neck.

"Fuck, I missed you," Sunghoon groaned.

"I missed you too," you said softly.

"Show me," Sunghoon said, running his hands up your back. He grabbed your face with both hands, pulling you back for another kiss. You kissed him back, moaning softly against his lips as you pressed yourself against him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him grab your ass again and lift you up. You gasped against his lips, wrapping your legs around him. He pressed you against the wall, pushing himself against you as he squeezed your ass again.

"Hoon," you moaned, sliding your hands down his shoulders and to his chest. You broke the kiss, looking at him with a smile on your lips.

"What?"

“I love you."

Sunghoon stopped, and you panicked.

"Hoon-"

"Say that again," Sunghoon whispered, brushing a wet lock of hair away from your face.

You stared at him for a moment, biting your lip as you felt your heart start to race.

You took a deep breath, and you felt a smile spread across your lips. "I love you."

Sunghoon let out a breath, before he kissed you again. He pressed his lips against yours, kissing you deeply as you sighed against him. You held onto him tightly as he squeezed you again, grinding against you. He was so hard and you could feel the head of his dick pressing against your folds.

"Hoon," you moaned again, pulling away from him. You reached down, grabbing his dick and stroking him slowly. You could feel your pussy starting to grow wet, and you squeezed him again, moaning softly.

"Fuck," he groaned, resting his forehead against yours. He looked into your eyes, his own clouded with lust as he smiled at you. "You're gonna make me cum if you keep that up."

You bit your lip, continuing to stroke him as you gave him a coy look. You kissed him, sliding your hand down his chest. "Maybe that's the point."

"Oh? Is that so?" Sunghoon grinned, moving forward and kissing you again. "So you don’t want me to fuck you?”

You let out a moan as his dick pressed against your clit. "I want you to fuck me."

Sunghoon let out a deep groan, squeezing your ass with both hands as he kissed you again.

"Fuck, I love you," he moaned against your lips. He pulled away from you, reaching for your neck as he sucked a hickey on your skin. "I love you."

He lowered you to your feet, turning you around. He grabbed your waist, and you let out a gasp as you felt his dick press against you. He pushed your hair out of the way, kissing your back as he slid his hand down your front, reaching for your clit.

He rubbed it slowly, making you moan as he slid his other arm around you, holding you close to him. He pressed his lips against the back of your shoulder, and you arched your back as you let out a moan.

"Fuck," you moaned, trying to push back against him. He let out a laugh, continuing to rub your clit as he grinded against your ass.

You squeezed your eyes shut, letting out another loud moan. You felt him press his lips against your skin, and you could feel his smirk as he kept teasing you.

You could feel the head of his dick slide between your folds, and you moaned again as he rubbed against your clit.

He ran his hands up your front, squeezing your breasts before he moved them down again. He grabbed your waist, squeezing them tightly as he pushed you forward a bit. You placed your hands against the wall, leaning forward and bracing yourself as you felt him rub the head of his dick against your clit.

"Hoon," you moaned, closing your eyes as you felt his dick rub against you again. "Please."

He rubbed his dick between your folds, smearing your wetness around as he rubbed against your clit. You were getting impatient now, and you moved your hips a bit, trying to get him to move forward.

He let out a low growl, before he pressed the head of his dick into you.

"Ah," you gasped, letting your head fall forward.

You felt him start to move slowly, pushing himself into you inch by inch as you moaned his name. You clutched the wall tightly, letting out a loud moan as he continued to push himself into you. You felt him move your hair away from your shoulder, pressing a kiss to your neck.

"You're so tight," he whispered into your ear, before biting down gently on your skin.

You moaned again, leaning against him as he grabbed your waist. He pulled out, sliding back into you again and you gasped.

He slid out again, this time grabbing your ass and squeezing it tightly as he pressed himself into you again. He continued to thrust into you, and you moaned his name as you he out a low sigh. He grabbed your hair again, pulling it back as he started to move faster, fucking into you with a roughness you didn't expect.

"You feel so good," Sunghoon moaned. “Pussy made just for me."

You couldn't even respond. You were completely lost in the feeling of his dick sliding into you. You were so wet and you could feel your own slick on your thighs.

You moved your hips back, meeting his thrusts as he moved faster.

"That's it baby," Sunghoon whispered. "You feel so good around me."

You could feel your orgasm starting to build, and you let out another loud moan.

"So good," Sunghoon groaned, and he slid one hand down your front, rubbing your clit slowly.

"Hoon!" you cried out, moving your hips against his hand as he kept moving his hips. You could feel your pussy starting to clench around him and you moaned his name again.

"Fuck, you're close," he groaned, rubbing your clit faster. "I can feel you clenching around me."

"I'm so close," you cried out, leaning forward as he pulled you back by your hair. You braced yourself on the wall, closing your eyes as you felt yourself growing close. You felt him pull out of you suddenly, and you turned your head back to look at him.

"Hoon, what-"

He grabbed your hair, pushing you against the shower wall again. He slid back into you, pressing himself into you as you let out a moan.

He fucked into you hard, and you tried to look at him over your shoulder. He pressed his lips against your shoulder, moaning as he pushed himself deep inside of you. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as he fucked you.

"I love you," he said, his voice low and his breath hot on your neck. "I love you so much."

You bit your lip, moaning his name as he thrust into you again.

"That's it," Sunghoon groaned. "Call my name like that again."

You moaned his name again, arching your back as he continued to thrust into you. You were so close to coming now, and you felt your orgasm start to take over.

"I'm going to cum," you moaned, reaching back to grab onto his hand. "I'm going to-"

You felt him thrust into you again, and you felt your orgasm hit you. You moaned loudly, letting your head fall forward as he let out a loud groan.

"Fuck, you're squeezing my dick," Sunghoon growled. "You're so good at sucking me in."

You clenched around him, feeling him pull you back as he thrust into you again.

"Fuck!" he cried out, and you felt him twitch inside of you. You felt his cum shoot into you, and you clenched around him again, squeezing him tightly.

He let go of you, sliding out of you as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder. You turned around to face him, placing your hand on his cheek. You looked up at him with a smile on your lips.

He gave you a tired grin, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours.

"Can never get tired of that," he muttered, giving you a wink.

"Shut up."

He laughed, and you shook your head. You pushed him backwards, grabbing the showerhead as you grabbed his arm and pushed him under the stream of water.

"Hey!" he shouted, trying to push you away as he laughed.

You laughed, turning the showerhead off before you pulled him back to you, kissing him as you slid your arms around him.

"So, I was thinking that we could go out to dinner tonight and then we could go see a movie," he said. “You still owe me a date."

You grinned, kissing his cheek. "Yeah? That sounds nice."

"Yeah?" he said, pulling you back into the spray of the shower. You let him push you under the water, letting out a laugh as he ran his hands up your back.

"I'd love that."

#enhypen smut #sunghoon smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #sunghoon x reader #heeseung x reader

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leahluvr · 8 months

Text

above & beyond - leah williamson x reader

genre: fluff, comfort, injury, period

warnings: none

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leah’s face was etched with a mixture of pain and exhaustion as she lay on her bed. you sat down beside her, your presence a silent reassurance. gently, you reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead.

“rough day?” you ask gently.

she nodded, her voice slightly strained. “yeah, my body just feels like it’s betraying me.”

you placed a comforting hand on her arm. “sucks being a woman, hey.”

“ha! yeah i know. i will say being on my period and having an acl injury is certainly not the best combination.”

you half smile, half frown in empathy of understanding her perspective.

“can you stay with me?” leah said turning to you, her eyes filled with hope for more comfort.

a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

“i’m not going anywhere, love.”

she scoots closer, her head finding its place on your shoulder.

“i don’t know what i’d do without you, yn.”

“well, lucky for you, you won’t ever have to find out,” you say gently wrapping an arm around her, pulling her closer.

leah shifts, her gaze meeting yours with a soft intensity. “you have a way of making things better, you know? even on days like this.”

“speaking of, i think it’s my time to make it even better,” you gave her a warm smile, your fingers gently tracing circles on her hand. “i’ll be back in as soon as possible.”

sitting in silence, you had noticed the slight discomfort in leah’s disposition. she was always good at masking her pain, but after dating for several years you had broken through the barrier. because of her endometriosis she struggled terribly with cramps but did her best to avoid displaying her agony.

when heading toward the kitchen you grab a heat pack from the medicine cabinet and throw it in the microwave. while it heats up you hurriedly make her a light snack, also placing a handful of chocolates next to the plate.

“baby!” leah whines, clingy from your absence.

“i’m coming! i’m coming!”

returning you give a kiss on her forehead before gently draping the hot heat pack over her lower abdomen.

“this might help ease the pain a bit.”

leah closed her eyes, a soft sigh of relief escaping her lips.

“god, how do you always know what i need?”

“why wouldn’t i? i’ll be right back sweet, i’m just bringing some things.”

leah nods as you quickly trod away back to the kitchen.

coming back you pass her the plate of food you prepared.

“baby! a ham sandwhich, oh my god, i love you so much!”

you laugh at her childish excitement. as she grabs a triangle of the sandwich, stuffing her face.

“no one needs to be your girlfriend to know that a ham sandwich is what you’d eat; breakfast, lunch and dinner for the rest of your life, leah.” you laugh again as she rolls her eyes, ignoring your teasing and instead enjoying her snack.

you hop into bed again, shoving yourself between leah and the headboard. you pull off leah’s pyjama top and use your fingers to gently trace soothing patterns over her back and shoulders. as a result, leah moans from the pleasure of the massage as well as her beloved sandwich.

“yn, you’re so good at this,” she murmurs, her voice heavy with gratitude.

“it’s the least i can do, my love,” you reply softly, “i don’t want you to be in pain.”

“you always go above and beyond, don’t you?” she admires your effort and affection.

“only for the best.”

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an: my first woso fic so be nice 😭 also i haven’t proofread so sorry for any mistakes i might’ve made

#leah williamson x reader #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso fanfics #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson #arsenal wfc

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walkawaytall · 3 months

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I really wish there was more interest in how to handle ADHD other than just addressing the symptoms that affect the people around us.

Like, the best pharmaceutical treatment we have right now is stimulants, and I agree that being on stimulants 24 hours a day, 365 days a year is probably not good for your body. Hell, I’m on a less-than-ideal dose of my medication from a concentration perspective because the ideal dose had my resting heart rate sitting at a cool 115BPM. I know taking med holidays is important. I know all of this.

But because ADHD isn’t just an attention problem (or may not actually be an attention problem at all at its core), it sucks that the only time period medical professionals seem to be concerned about treating are the “important” times: the length of a school or workday. Forget the fact that ADHD affects executive function, forget the fact that people with ADHD often experience chronic and unending anxiety and/or depression as a result of the ADHD, forget that there are important times that have nothing to do with an 8-hour school or work day, forget the rejection sensitivity dysphoria, the sensory issues that make things like clothing, food, and group situations a nightmare to try to navigate, the household stuff that has to be taken care of outside of the 8-hour school or work day. It feels like none of that matters because it doesn’t affect a group of fifteen or more people.

On top of ADHD, I have been plagued with anxiety-related issues for the majority of my life. I likely have a form of OCD and I have a history with a restrictive eating disorder; both of those conditions are very closely associated with high levels of anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medications before. I was first given an as-needed medication that took the edge off but also made everything feel a little fuzzy, like there was a pane of glass between me and the rest of the world; I was put on an SSRI that somehow made my OCD-related intrusive thoughts about 50x worse than usual and had me wondering at one point if I should be hospitalized; and I’m currently on buspirone, which is doing what it’s supposed to do without the side effects of the others thankfully. But nothing, and I mean nothing, has reduced my anxiety as much as my ADHD medication.

Two hours after my first stimulant dosage, I just suddenly didn’t feel on-edge any more. I estimate that being on ADHD medication has reduced my anxiety by about 70% (buspirone’s for the other 30%). I started taking it in the summer of 2020 and I remember, in 2021, when I saw my boss in person for the first time since lockdown, he remarked on how much more confident I seemed, how I was more likely to speak up in meetings, etc. And I was like…yeah, man, it’s a wonder what not feeling anxious every second of every day will do for someone.

ADHD affects so much more of my life than just attention and anxiety, too. I have sensory issues with mine, which is pretty common, and they make eating — an already sometimes-complicated task due to the ED history — difficult at times because, while I can eat foods that I don’t particularly like, if something is what I call “the bad texture”, I will gag no matter how hard I work to overcome it (believe me, I’ve tried). And my brain sometimes decides that foods that were previously fine are now “the bad texture” and they may or may not shift back to being okay eventually; I don’t know.

The sensory issues affect me socially. My therapist and I have recently come to the conclusion that I’m probably not actually an introvert, but if I’m around larger groups, that means noise and movement and probably being touched, and too much of that causes my brain to either freak out or shut down. I used to always say, “I love people, but when I’m done, I’m done.” And that was likely because the overstimulation was building and building in the background, and at a certain point, my brain would just be like, “We gotta get outta here.” I was Queen of Irish Goodbyes for a very long time because of this.

And the executive dysfunction affects…well..everything? Not just work, not just school (but also those because if my environment is chaotic, my brain feels chaotic, and it is difficult to maintain a non-chaotic environment if you keep getting stuck on order of operations when picking up a room).

I’m not saying that I want to be on longer-lasting stimulants or that I want to be on the higher dose that I know helps my concentration more, cardiovascular system by damned. What I’m saying is, I wish treatment research had been more holistic rather than just figuring out what would give teachers and managers an easier time despite what the person with ADHD might be dealing with as soon as their meds wear off.

Maybe current research is working on it; I don’t know. I just know that, the older I get, the more frustrated I am with my brain and the more apparent the deficiencies I used to be able to counteract with pre-chronic-illness energy and crushing perfectionism become, and I wish there was an answer to this that actually helped me most of the time rather than forcing me to pick which parts of my day/week is “important” and making sure I’m medicated for those parts.

#adhd #adult adhd #adhd combined #adhd problems #actually adhd #adhd treatment

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tobiasdrake · 1 year

Text

And then Steve's ending sucks and is bad.

Steve's ending infuriated a lot of Stucky shippers for obvious reasons. But. Like. Here's the thing: From a filmmaking standpoint, the Stuckies are right. Sending Steve back in time just doesn't work for multiple reasons, both in and out of universe.

This is going to be a longie.

#1 - Time Travel Doesn't Work That Way

The first problem is the in-universe one. This ending is so busted that the directors and writers actually have separate interpretations of what happened, and they're both wrong.

According to the directors, Steve created a parallel timeline where he's lived with his Peggy. He used the time machine to return to this timeline and go to that bench, but only once he was super old for, uh, some reason?

Problem is, according to this movie, you can't do that. You can't make a new timeline without removing an Infinity Gem from it, and also making new timelines is bad, remember? Further, the film gives no indication that Steve time traveled here. He doesn't appear on the Quantum platform. He's not wearing his time suit. He's just chilling on a bench, staring at the horizon.

The reason the film gives no indication for how Steve arrived here is because of the writers' interpretation: Steve arrived in the past of this, the main timeline. Steve himself was Peggy's mystery husband back in Winter Soldier. Old Steve has always been here, waiting for this moment.

That's actually worse than the directors' explanation. The movie has been very clear on the point that you can't directly change the past. Even after they prune the timelines, Loki didn't actually escape in 2012. That never happened. The events of the Time Heist never happened, from a historical perspective.

The internal logic of Steve's jaunt doesn't work out, no matter which way you slice it.

#2 - The Future is Scary and You Should Run Away

The second problem is what it does to Steve as a Man Out of Time. The white-hot core of this character direction is that he is an old man living in a world he doesn't recognize, and having to adapt to changing times. That's something we all have to deal with eventually.

So what is Endgame's final statement on Steve's efforts to fit into society? It's that he can't. Trying to live in this world he doesn't know is a futile gesture. In the end, Steve gives up, sinks his head in the sand, and rejects modernity. He embraces the shallow image of a woman he once loved was attracted to and lives out the rest of his days in a reactionary fantasy world.

I guess there is no value in changing and growing to adapt to the new world around you. What a shitty ending.

#3 - To the End of the Line

And finally... yeah. I'm sorry to tell you this, but the Stucky shippers were right. Not necessarily about Steve and Bucky's relationship being canonically romantic. But about Steve and Bucky's relationship being the driving emotional throughline of the entire Captain America trilogy.

In the end, this ending is the epitome of the problem with the way writers write platonic relationships versus romantic ones. Throughout the trilogy, Bucky is the most valuable and important person in Steve's life.

Steve defied orders and officially joined World War II, venturing deep into enemy territory alone, for Bucky. He was ready to die for this man. He laid down his shield and accepted the Winter Soldier's violence out of love for the man behind his eyes, and that sheer unrelenting loyalty brought him back from the monster he was programmed to be. Steve went to war with the Avengers out of love for Bucky.

And whether you take that love to be romantic or platonic, it doesn't change the fact that this is what drives the films. Not Peggy. Never Peggy. The films occasionally pay some attention to Peggy and Sharon, but they aren't actually interested in using these characters as characters.

(In fact, they're so disinterested in Sharon that she drops off the face of the universe in Infinity War and Endgame. Not even a namedrop. The moment the filmmakers decided to send Steve back to Peggy, Sharon ceased to have any value as a character and was consequently erased. They do not care about these women and their stories. The Carters are just the obligatory love interests.)

Instead, Peggy is merely the symbol of what could have been. She represents the life Steve lost, but is barely treated as a person in her own right. She's just a picture in his wallet that he can pine after. She doesn't move the story along, and his feelings for her rarely amount to more than Steve being sad for a little bit and then continuing along with what he was doing.

And this is how it always is. The best friend is the diehard series-defining relationship that moves mountains and saves the universe. And the girlfriend is just there, getting little focus or development. Steve and Bucky prove their importance to each other again and again, but no attention is paid to why Peggy is important. "She's a woman. He's a man. What more do you need?"

I'm not, personally, a Stucky shipper. But "I'm with you to the end of the line," still meant so much to me. This was the emotional core of the Captain America trilogy, right up there with "I can do this all day." Steve suddenly quitting on the future, quitting on Bucky, and running off to bury his face in Peggy's bosom felt like a betrayal of everything the films have ever told us about these characters. Peggy just wins. Because we need to marry him off somehow if we're going to tie up his journey!

It is neither a joke nor an exaggeration to say that the trajectory of Captain America throughout the MCU was ruined at the very last possible second by the straight agenda.

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #avengers endgame #steve rogers #captain america

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radiant-reid · 2 years

Note

hopping on the hot wife bandwagon… can you reason a blurb of when it’s y/n and spencer’s wedding day and while they’re having dinner the team finally decided to ask the question they’ve been dying to ask forever, “so how the hell did you to get together?” and they all found out little spencer is actually smooth and flirty

yessss. also this is meant to have the same vibe as JJ's wedding

HIM ^^ always him

Sitting around a large table in Rossi's backyard with the BAU family is exactly where she wants to be for her first meal being married to the love of her life. It's peaceful, personal and nice to see all of her husband's colleagues relaxed for once.

Spencer's as perfect as the day they met, hair parted down the middle and held in place with gel rather than curls messy on top of his head. A thing that's never changed is how in awe of her he is, speechless whenever he looks at her for too long and constantly wondering how he'd ended up with everything he ever wanted sitting next to him.

"You doing okay, handsome?" She whispers, touching his shoulder as she leans over.

He's literally never been better. "Yeah, of course."

"No regret yet?" She jokes.

Spencer grins widely, shaking his head. "Never."

Before they can continue having their moment of intimacy, Emily draws their attention away from each other. "So I've got to know, how did Spencer actually manage to get with someone as hot as you?" She's definitely had a few too many, judging by her slurred speech and bluntness, but the team can't deny they're all thinking it. "No offense, Spence. She is way out of your league, though."

He scoffs playfully. "Thanks." He knows it's true, too, no one has the warm glow and gorgeousness that she has, but he's more than reassured that she's only in love with him.

"Tell us the story." Penelope insists also.

Y/n frowns. "I'm not sure there's much to tell." She admits. It had been one of the best days of her life, of course, but it was also probably the most ordinary day she'd ever had in her time knowing Spencer Reid.

"There's got to be something." JJ tries to nudge her to spill because none of them can imagine how it happened.

"Well, it was at a bar." Y/n starts, immediately stopped by the confused looks on everyone else's faces. "What?"

"Spencer at a bar? Without one of us dragging him there?" Morgan asks incredulously.

Spencer laughs, jumping in to explain that night from his perspective. "You did drag me there." Spencer points out. "You just left early... Jasmine, I think her name was?"

Everyone laughs at that, knowing Morgan's tendencies to be a ladies' man. "Spencer was, I don't know, suave, charming, smooth." She's looking for the right word, but each one doesn't seem impressive enough to describe him.

He's looking at her with puppy dog eyes, totally love-sick. "And handsome." He adds.

"The most handsome." She amends, but when she turns to see the team's reaction, she's shocked by how shocked they look.

"Did you just use the word suave to describe Spencer, or did I imagine that?" Penelope asks, her mouth lingering open. None of them can imagine it. Sure, he's endearing with his awkwardness, but he's terrible with women he's attracted to, to the point of aversion.

They also don't imagine her standards were low, not when she's so immaculate, which makes it even more puzzling that Spencer managed to land her.

Y/n nods. "Yeah." She answers. "He totally charmed me. Honestly, I worried he was a playboy, but I don't think I had any reason to worry."

"You definitely did not." Morgan agrees passionately before he can help himself. "I saw him flirt with a girl in a bar once, he sucked." He exposes Spencer.

"What?" Y/n asks, tipping her head to the side to look at her husband. "What happened to I never do this?" She presses him, voice dropping lower to mimic his from that night.

He holds up his hands defensively. "Technically, I was only successful once."

"When you divorce," Emily interrupts the playful retort Y/n's about to make. "Can I take you out, Y/n?"

Spencer giggles with Y/n at that, and the whole team joins in on the laughter when Morgan jumps in with his offer. "Nuh-uh, if she were going to date anyone else here, it would be me."

While they argue, she rests her head on Spencer's shoulder and whispers that she loves him and his smile only grows bigger.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid x you #spencer reid blurb

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aspiring-creative-person · 7 months

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Ok but I was just thinking

Jooster is kind of the only actual solid relationship in Jeeves and Wooster?? Like platonic or romantic, let me explain

Like obviously it’s the focus, but like. Listen.

Everyone else hops from girl to girl, or guy to guy, and each one is filled with turmoil. This is just talking about Bertie’s friends, right?

But also, as friends, they really suck. They constantly get him to do things for them and do nothing in return.

Even the aunts and uncles don’t usually have spouses that are actually on screen!! Who knows if there were divorces or something?? Like people’s parents are hardly ever present it’s always some rich aunt or uncle, with Bertie yes but even with all his friends 😅😂

Everyone in that show is just so… detached from each other. There’s a particular moment where Bertie is driving Bingo and Tuppy home, and they’re just ranting about their women to each other and not listening to the other, and Bertie is just so done with it. I think that illustrates this point pretty well.

Anyway, Jeeves and Bertie are so not that. There’s another post somewhere on Tumblr talking about how Bertie always replies to Jeeves’ subtext and they pick up on each others moods essentially, which I think is a great point. And generally they just really like each other. Just read any of the books to see how much Bertie admires Jeeves, and read “Mr. Wooster Changes His Mind,” which is from Jeeves’ perspective, and you can see how he cares a lot for Bertie as well.

And like. They have their own language. Bertie is used to Jeeves materializing into rooms (this generally freaks out other people), he is now comfortable with it. Also he knows that whenever Jeeves is cold to him it’s almost always about his fashion choices, and that is a constant theme of how they interact. They have their quips about music sometimes. Jeeves always helps solve Bertie’s (and friends’) problems, and even when Bertie gets the short end of the stick, if it’s Jeeves’ plan he immediately is satisfied with the conclusion.

The biggest thing, though, is probably their brief break-up. Like. They had a disagreement and broke up, and then missed each other. There weren’t even any hard feelings, just longing tbh. And at the end they got back together, and stayed together, and were happy to see each other again. They clearly enjoy each others’ company. And Jeeves seemed to think that the other candidates for his employer did not even compare to Bertie.

Name another couple in this show who is as devoted as they are

Half of the women go for men for their status, the other half at whims

All of the men go for women on whims, and half of them find another girl when they have some sort of disagreement with the previous one

And even if they get back with a previous partner, there’s no guarantee that they will stay together

But Jooster is in for the long haul. The most consistent relationship, the most caring relationship, the most in-tune relationship, the most long-term relationship.

Oh yeah also with familial relations and all that. Aunt Agatha has been quoted to say she thinks Bertie should probably be put in some home. Like, that’s pretty rude and everything. She also tries to get him to marry all the time, she doesn’t care about him in a way that is healthy at least, only so much as he can be out of the way and out of trouble. Even Aunt Dahlia, who says he is her favorite nephew, and who takes advantage of his nature to get him to do things for her, insults him and throws things at him sometimes. His cousin Gussy, when he gets drunk, insults him in front of a crowd, going so far as to say he hates him. Claude and Eustice put him into the soup without a care for how mad Aunt Agatha will be at him.

Jeeves never insults him, or not his character at least. Yes, they have their disagreements about fashion and music. But Jeeves never insults his intelligence. He never calls him clumsy. He never underestimates him. Yes, he is his employee, but I have a feeling that it doesn’t have to do with that. Even when he was split up, like I mentioned, he came back and said the other employers weren’t up to snuff compared to Bertie.

Omg and then there’s all the women who think Bertie loves them/who want to marry Bertie. Of course, they all have delusions about him, because if they knew him at all they would know he is not in love with them. They would know that he’s too much of a pushover to say no to them. But they don’t. Which just shows further the disconnect everyone has in this show.

Ok referencing one more post because I like the point they have. It was something about how the actors keep changing for the side characters, unintentionally showing how Jeeves is really the only constant in Bertie’s life. Again showing the difference in their relationship vs his disconnected everyone else is. While I’m sure it’s not an intentional choice in that regard, it certainly is an interesting connection.

Anyway like I said at the beginning of this, you can interpret their relationship as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but it’s definitely the only solid one in the series.

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monster-fucker-on-main · 1 year

Text

2003 Raphael x Reader Dating HCs

A/N: I have arisen from the dead!! Pt.2 of the Raphael dating headcanons. Enjoy!

Warning(s): None

I feel like most people assume this Raph would be more likely to fall for a biker badass lady who takes no one's shit, which has potential, but honestly I can totally see our boy falling for a sweet lil girly girl

And so I raise you: the sweet lil girly girl badass

Like I feel he would be instant heart eyes for a kind hearted soul who wears dresses and their makeup and hair n shit but can absolutely hold their own in a fight

He gets a lot of snark from his brothers, so it would literally be a dream come true for him if he landed someone who showers him with compliments and encouragement, and actually attempts to see his perspective for once

Tell him how strong he is when he's doing pushups or how passionate he is when he gets fired up about something, the man will be whipped

If you have a pitbull or any other kind of dog that's generally seen as aggressive or dangerous, he'll be whipped x2

If you have pets in general, they all just kind of flock over to him, he's an animal magnet

If you have the hair texture for it, he will absolutely learn how to braid it for you, in private of course, he has a reputation to uphold

Also knits you things, but you CANNOT tell anyone that he made them for you (everyone knows it has him lol)

Some people depict him as a bit of a flirt, and I might be inclined to agree if it was someone he didn't genuinely have a crush on he was flirting with

But with you?

Absolutely tongue-tied, and believe me he has tried

Very protective over you, whether you can fight or not

Absolutely gets jealous, Mikey has made a habit of flirting with you when he's around just to piss him off

Be prepared for angry kisses later that day ;)

Speaking of which, sucks at kissing at first but quickly gets the hang of it and once he does...(I can't find the side eye emoji)

Out of all the Raphs (excluding rise), he is the most likely to intentionally confess

Well, maybe confess is an overstatement

He will drop not so subtle hints that he wants to get with you

For example: "Yeah, ya know I've always had kind of a thing for *insert your type here* girls."

Que intense eye contact

Walks you home every time you leave the lair if you don't have a vehicle, you DO NOT have a choice

If you ever get in an argument with someone, he will support the hell out of you, like crossing his arms and nodding behind you with a "don't fuck with us" expression, yelling "what she said!" when you make a good point, etc.

I feel like the relationship has two sides: the "kick his ass babe I got yo flower" side, and the "she asked for no pickles" side

Overall, you're one of the few people of the few people that get to see Raph's softer side, he's your big over protective teddy bear and your his rational other half that he can always depend on

Very supportive relationship 10/10

#tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt raphael #raph x reader #raphael x reader #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2003 raph #tmnt 2003 x reader

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specialagentlokitty · 1 month

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Master chief x reader - the fear of loosing you

Laying on your side, you stared at the wall in front of you, looking at the photo you had stuck on there.

Only one photo, but that was all you needed, the only thing that you needed while you were laid here like you had been doing for the past few days.

There was a knock on your door, and you rolled over to see who it was coming into your room.

“Hey Riz.” You smiled.

“Hey.”

She walked over, and sat down in front of your bed.

“You weren’t at the landing zone when we returned. Chief has to go debrief but he asked me to quickly come see if you were alright.”

You smiled at her, nodding your head.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just resting.”

She nodded her head, studying your face for a moment.

“How did it go?” You asked.

“It went well.”

Riz sat there explaining their most recent mission to you, what they went through, what they did, the flight there and back.

You happily laid there and listened to her as she told you about the mission from her perspective.

She didn’t have long to talk, so eventually she got back up, saying bye as she left the room, and you rolled back over to look at the photo.

You had spent a few hours asleep while you waited for John, and you were woken up by the sound of somebody entering your room.

“Hey, it’s only me.”

“John…”

You shuffled over, and he came over a minute later, sitting down on the edge of the bed, and you rolled over to look up at him.

He was laid on his side looking down at you, and you smiled up at him.

“I’m glad you’re back.”

“What have you been doing?”

You yawned a little as you sat up, wrapping half your blanket around you and you tossed the other half around him.

“Well, I had some paper work to do, so I finally finished that which absolutely sucks. Honestly paperwork is going to be the death of me.”

“Why aren’t you allowed back into active duty? Is something wrong with your leg?” He asked.

You looked at your leg, lifting your trouser leg a little to show him your calf, the pinkish scar healing.

“No, it’s alright. A little sore to move sometimes though.”

He nodded his head, carefully examining your leg, running his thumb along your new scar.

He had picked it up from you, because it’s what you did with his, you would trail your fingers along them.

“I think it’ll still be a while before I can go into active duty, for now it’s riding the desk for me.”

John nodded his head.

“Have you been doing your physio therapy exercises you were given?”

“I haven’t done them yet. I was feeling tired all day so I spent a lot of it asleep.”

John stood up, and he walked over to your desk, flicking through a few things on your console before pulling them up on your wall.

“It’s important to your recovery that you do them, it may impact your future mobility if you don’t.”

“I know, I know.”

You shuffled over to the edge of the bed, and John helped you stand.

He always helped you with your physio, making sure you were actually doing it and making sure that you were taking frequent breaks while doing it.

When you were finished, he sat you down in the chair, and sat in front of you, rolling your trouser leg and grabbed the cream you were given.

“Miranda said this will help with the scarring, it won’t get rid of it but it’ll help with the appearance. It also acts as a numbing agent which will allow you to move around a little longer.”

You nodded your head, placing your hands on his face while he put the cream on your injured leg.

You ran your thumbs along his cheeks, and leant down to kiss the top of his head, giving him a little smile when he looked up at you.

He put the lid on the cream, and sat there looking up at you with gentle but curious eyes.

“What was that for?” He asked.

“I just felt like it.”

He nodded, pushing himself up, on the way up he let you stop him and gently kiss him, which he returned.

“Have you eaten yet?” He asked.

You shook your head.

“Wait here, I’ll bring you something.”

“Thank you.”

He gave you a little smile, and he left your room.

You sat there for a minutes before moving over to your bed to sit back down.

You weren’t even hungry, but you didn’t want to worry John, so you would eat some of whatever it was he brought for you.

But your decline in health had been noticed by all of the Spartans, though they didn’t know the reasoning behind it.

They tried to look, they asked Miranda but she claimed she didn’t know.

John came back with a tray of food for you, and he pulled over your chair, setting it down on the chair so you could eat while he went for a shower.

You ate a little bit, hiding the rest in the bin, and you laid on your bed with a book in hand as he came back through.

“Will you read to me?” John asked.

You smiled, setting that book on the floor and you picked up another one, holding your arm out.

John came padding over, and he laid alongside of you, resting his head on your stomach as you messaged his scalp with one hand, holding the book with the other as you read.

He spent most of the next day with you until he had to go do some work, and you were sitting at your desk doing some paperwork.

“Hey, I’ve managed to get a record of procedures we could do here.”

You looked to your door, finding Miranda standing there with a smile as she held some papers.

“As request all paper trail, so nothing will link back to you.”

You nodded, taking them from her so you could look through them.

“You don’t have to decide now, but we’ll need a decision soon so we can get you prepped for surgery.”

You set the papers into your draw and locked it, turning back around to look at her.

“How bad is it?”

Miranda sighed, coming over to your console and she pulled up a couple of her files that she had shared with you so you could see them as well.

She gestured to a few spots on one of the scans.

“These anomalies are where it’s metastasised, but they’re easy enough for surgeons to remove.”

You followed the small white specks along the scans.

“It’s spreading.”

“Yeah… but if we remove it all now and get you into treatment right after, once you’re given a clean bill we can then go about medication to prevent it coming back.”

“I mean come on Miranda we both know that there’s a chance that may not even work.”

“Right now yeah there is that chance, but if we can remove the masses while they’re still small then the treatment will work, we can prevent this coming back.”

You flicked through some of the other scans, blood results and whatever other labs they had taken on you.

“I’ll have to think about it, lock the file again.”

She nodded, locking it up for you again and you swapped back over to your file.

She left you, and you went back to doing paper work.

You didn’t want to think about your problem so you didn’t, you focused on your friends, you focused on John and spending time with him.

But soon it began to take its toll on you, and this is what alerted the Spartans, so they all came to your room, letting themselves in.

“What do you want? I said I don’t want company.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Vennick asked.

You opened your eyes, looking at the three of them.

“The chief is worrying about you, he’s trying to find out what’s going on.” Riz said.

“I’m fine…”

“You’re more tired than usual, you look sick, you’re getting weaker, and you’ve been visiting the doctors a lot more as well.” Kai said.

You stayed quiet.

“Just go away…”

“Are you sick?” Kai asked.

They all stayed quiet as they waited for your response.

You rolled over, turning your back to them, staring at the photo on your wall of you and John.

“Don’t tell John…” you whispered.

“He has to know.” Riz said.

“I’m not getting the treatment, so there’s no point him knowing.”

“Why? The treatment will help.” Vennick said.

“Because I don’t want it and it’s my choice… go away…”

You heard your door open and close, and you went back to trying to get to sleep, but everything felt uncomfortable.

You kept shuffling around, your bones ached, you felt a little sick, but overall you were just tired.

You just wanted to sleep.

And finally you managed to fall into a restless sleep, and that’s when John came in as a man on a mission, but when he saw you he stopped.

He didn’t want to wake you up, so he quietly made his was over, laying down in front of you, just looking at you.

He had noticed how you seemed to be always tired, you didn’t want to go on walks with him anymore, and he knew that at least half of your meals you were throwing in the bin.

He had been looking in every single file, ever lab results, every test that he could get his hands on that had your name but he couldn’t find it.

So when his team came to find him he knew his suspicions about something being wrong was true.

John laid there waiting for you to wake up, your back against his chest, his arm over your waist, your hand holding his tightly.

When you woke up he woke up as well, and you stretched a little bit.

“Hey…” you whispered.

John tapped your shoulder, letting you know that he wanted you to turn around so you did.

“You’re sick.”

“They told you…”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why aren’t you getting treatment?”

You sighed heavily.

“Because I didn’t want you to worry and I.. I just… I don’t want to go through all that pain…”

Johns eyes searched yours.

“You’ll die without it…” he said quietly.

You slowly nodded your head.

John reached up his hand, placing it on the side of your face, brushing some hair out of your eyes.

“You need to take the treatment. It will hurt, but you’ll be alive.”

“John…”

“I don’t want you to die.”

You went quiet, and you placed your hand on his chest.

“Oh sweetheart…” you whispered.

“Please don’t die…” he whispered back.

You gave John a soft smile, leaning forward to give him a short kiss before you pulled away.

“I’ve seen a lot of people die, but I don’t want to see you die. You need to get the treatment, whatever it is, you need to get it. Don’t let this illness win…”

“I’ll be bedbound for months.”

“I’ll look after you.”

You took a small breath, your eyes searching his.

He looked so sad, so lost and a little confused.

He leant forward, putting his forehead against yours.

“I’ll do whatever it is I have to do, whatever it is you need, for however long you need me to do it.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that…”

“I want to do it. I’ll do it for you.”

You laughed softly.

“You’re too good for me you know…”

“That’s not true.”

“It is.”

You laid there with him quietly for a few minutes before you finally nodded your head.

“Will you come with me to talk to Miranda about treatment options with the surgeon?”

“Of course. When would you like to go?”

“Can we this afternoon? I just want to lay here with you for a while.”

John nodded his head, laying on his back, letting you lay yourself across his chest, eventually falling back to sleep.

He looked at you, running his fingers through your hair, running his knuckles along your cheek, tracing small patterns into the small of your back.

He just laid there watching you, admiring you in all your beauty right now at this moment, how the sun hit your face, the small smile on your lips.

You were beautiful to him, and no matter what happened throughout your treatment you were always going to be beautiful to him.

He just wanted you to live.

He just wanted you to be with him, but his side no matter what.

You had always been there for him, even when he tried to push you away, even when he was at his lowest you were there and now it was his turn to be there for you, to help you get better, to make sure you weren’t sick anymore

#halo #halo x you #halo x reader #halo imagine #halo the series #John 117 #john 117 x reader #John 117 x you #John 117 imagine #master chief #master chief x you #master chief x reader #master chief imagine

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dragelton · 4 months

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the ghosts finale was literally the worst finale of any show i have ever seen and i fully mean it

youre gonna take THE gay person found family show, add a fucking baby into the mix, have alison leave the ghosts so she can focus on the baby???

and like yeah. she has to. of course she has to. but like the baby isnt REAL. they wrote that thing in. they had her look at her found family and go sorry guys, this was fun but i need to focus on my real family, me and my DH and our lovely baby girl.

and see like. everyones posting analysis about how its actually even more family that they left because you also have to move out of your home when you grow up and only see your family for holidays yadda yadda and its like. well. yeah thats true. you live with your family until youre older and you love them but you outgrow them, who as much as you might like them are a part of you as your family and not as people you have independently grown to bond with. so you eventually leave them and surround yourself with a friend group or something such. one might even call it. a found family. and the reason why this sucks shit is because it betrays that this whole time the people writing this found family have been thinking “well yeah friendship is awesome but its nothing like REAL family where when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much-”

and then with that perspective you think back to the core of these characters who resonated so much and realize that their tragedies have always been a lack of family. julian was a serial cheater and workaholic who never told his daughter he loved her. pat will never get to see his kids grow up. thomas died before he could marry his beloved. fanny was robbed of a marriage with a man who loves her. kitty never grew up and got the dream wedding she desperately wants to have and her daddy never loved her. and then you get to cap who by all rights should be the exception to this and realize that when they teased him coming out the whole show but at the end subverted it to make it about his lost love it was not a radical portrayal of love between two men it was actually about them having the most cishet perspective on gay identity. it was them looking at a man who spent his entire life repressing his sexuality and going my, what a tragedy, he never got to get married.

of course you can say this has always been what the show is, that its not the shows fault i thought i was watching something else. fair enough. but appearently i’ve been watching something that is just not that good. like im going to be honest maybe it was just kind of bad.

#bbc ghosts #six idiots #bbc ghosts spoilers

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