#also yes I do have anon identifiers !!! an emoji or word or anything

[evansbby]

I'm basically just going to keep sending asks lol because I have so much to say, also feel no obligation to respond, I just want to share because you are such a brilliant writer and your work has made me feel all the things (do you still have anons that identify themselves with an emoji?)

anyways..... many many many thoughts on peter. I am all for the peter hate because I don't necessarily think that he is just so much better for her than Steve ever could be. I understand that he is more soft, submissive, and collaborative (not submissive to omega but submissive in general, he is never one to start a fight and as we have seen, capitulates very quickly when someone threatens him), but I still don't see him as having the purest of intentions for omega. Maybe I am reading way too much into this, but here are my thoughts based on what we have seen from Peter so far: he never encouraged omega to have other friends, it almost seemed like he enjoyed being the only person that omega could turn to (which is exactly what Steve also wants, but it seems people who love Peter and want omega to run away with him are missing that they are almost one in the same in that respect, they just have different approaches to achieving it- peter: gentle and cajoling, steve: blunt and mean and obsessive). Also, it seems that Peter also thinks he knows what is best for her, and doesn't really ever consult her on what she wants? Yes, yes, I know it was not great with that whole facetime thing and he was hurt, but something rubbed me the wrong way. He wants to rescue her from Steve, but he has never given her any agency about it. He just "knows" that she hates being with Steve and he is manipulating and controlling her, and I know that that is true to some extent, but it just reads as odd to me that he is constantly framing her as this helpless and clueless damsel in distress that is constantly being tricked and forced into things she doesn't want to do by Steve, as though she has no agency whatsoever.

I guess I'm also going along with this train of thought because we saw how omega finally stood up for herself in poyt 4, and how steve finally gave her room to feel what she feels and lash back out at him for everything that he has put her through. And maybe this is just me but in spite all of the cruelty and pretending not to feel and the messiness, I sense a soulmate connection between Steve and omega. And I think they could be really happy together down the road. They have so much more ahead of them to get there, but I felt this chapter was a really big step to building a beautiful life together, and it irks me that Peter ran in and tore that to shreds. It was also in how he simply dragged her away before she could say anything. It appears he has no grand plan to help her, and still sees her as this helpless thing that needs his guidance, which doesn't make him better than Steve in my eyes.

anyways, this was too much lol, hope my thoughts don't sound too unhinged and weird.

thank you for your brilliant writing!

This is a very interesting take!!! I think Peter is struggling between doing the right thing and knowing when to back off bc from his POV, his girlfriend cheated on him then blocked his number and never contacted him again. He knows this was Steve’s doing which is why he can’t fully blame omega for that — but his pride must still be hurt right? But he still wants to do the right thing and “save” her… TBH, Peter is difficult to write for bc it’s his behaviour can be seen as both understandable and questionable! Hopefully the next part will shed more light on his intentions!! Although he did ask about omega making friends with people in poyt 1!

And yes, you’re right about the soulmate connection between reader and Steve, that’s been intentionally there since the very first chapter!

[astrxealis]

hello, miss apollo!!! very uh weird ig for me to say this, i wanna be friends with you ): bcs i have never saw someone with the same interest as mine with the same age range and nationality ever in my life but im really shy and idk how to talk to people so i'll be here in the corner, enjoying your presence because your posts make me happy <(￣︶￣)> ( omg i hope it doesn't sound weird on this acckkk ) please talk more about final fantasy!!! idk about the series other than the name in general and that its a video game but hehe seeing you talk passionately about it bring me joy and i love love love seeing people talk a huge about about their interests especially video games!!!!

i hope this doesnt come as very sudden or weird ask to you i have been admiring you from afar OMG i sound like a stalker huhuhu if this makes you uncomfortable i will stop but please do have a nice day?2?3?_!&?₱ and please always take care of yourself. have a good evening ahead!!! also hoping you ate dinner AKSKKDKE okay i will stop this dragged onto for too long (╥﹏╥)

OH MY GOD HELLO!! i really Did Not Expect This At All but believe me please when i say there's such a huge smile on my face wah 🥹💗✨ THANK YOU SO MUCH AAAAA i would love to be friends, i barely know any people who are Like Me (+ dw i too am vv shy even if it may not seem like it! hehe buddies already) 🥺💖 dw this isn't weird at all, fr tysm fjebfksnkd >__< <33

tbh i do this kinda thing w some people too until they notice me but i usually don't do it first so i def applaud you for doing so w me uwa <3 ✨ i just had a great dinner and i hope you do/did as well!! i will try my best to take care and i hope you do as well wah don't be shy to talk to me whenever you'd like heehee <333 💞

[ask-ikevamp-charles]

NSFW content rules/boundaries

< This potentially may never be used if no one ends up sending something that falls under this BUT it’s important it’s here just in case. Better to be safe than sorry 😊 >

[ This is a role play blog so role playing is allowed. If there’s something specific you’d like to act out, please talk to me and I will do it if I’m comfortable. I am 21+ so NSFW with limitations is allowed. 

Sexual topics: flirting and suggestive questions/comments are okay. Sexual questions/comments can also be educational/informative, I’m very comfortable with the topic in such discussions. ]

These ^ NSFW rules can be found on the original rules of this blog. Here I will explain more in detail what it means. I decided to put the rules/boundaries in question form because it seemed easier to make things clear. Will be adjusted if needed.

Is the admin really that comfortable with NSFW based content?

Yes, I did an entire semester project on it for one of my college classes (public speaking) 😂 The professor said if we could make the topic fit the project prompt and rules, we could use basically any topic. Had to run it by him, I got approved and BAM! It was all so interesting that I continue to research these things in my free time. Also, I enjoy reading erotica, it’s fun 😂

What falls under NSFW interaction?

Any exchange where you insert yourself into an explicit sexual question/prompt. 

Ex: An exchange discussing how you’d like the character to do something sexual with you or vice versa.

Ex: If you have built your own story with the character through exchanges and you want to add sexual topics.

How explicit can the roleplay get? 

At the moment, I think I’ll stick to writing as explicitly as Cybird does for their spicy scenes. If there are any changes I’ll update here. 

I have a role-play idea I want to act out with Charles, how can I set that up? (Both anon & non-anon)

Simple, DM me and tell me what you're thinking. If I feel I can create a good scene and I'm comfortable with what you're suggesting, we can set it up. 

How do I know if something I said made the admin uncomfortable?

Easy, I’ll tell you immediately. 

Something the admin said in my response pushed past my limits, what do I do? 

Easy, tell me immediately. Don’t just ignore my response. I can’t understand or correct the situation or apologize if you don’t communicate with me. With ALL sexual topics, in ANY situation, communication is important. I always try my best to word things as best I can while not crossing boundaries while also being in character, I can mess up sometimes, so please just be honest and tell me 😊. That being said, if you want to engage in prompt role play, you need to clearly tell me your hard limits in DM.

Can I simply ask Charles if he’s interested in something without age verification? 

Yes. You will receive a simple yes or no based response, nothing more specific. 

Ex: Charles, would you be interested in having sex with a guy? - Yes! I’m open to it 😊

Can I ask Charles about his thoughts on certain kinks/philias without age verification?

No.   

While sex ed is taught in middle/high school, it's not ever anything related to kinks. It's usually safe sex basics and reproduction stuff (at least thats what I remember). 

Can I send flirty/suggestive things without age verification? 

Yes. If I deem something is pushing this rule to its limit, my response will serve to tone down the question. 

Requirement for NSFW interaction if you are sending an anonymous ask: 

Use something to identify yourself to sign off your ask (emoji, letter, random word)

DM me so I can see age (18+👍🏻 , specific age is not needed) make sure to include the sign off used in your ask so I know which one is yours.

You can remain publicly anonymous but it’s important I am able to verify that you’re an adult. If you’re a minor and you interact with the blog despite the clear MDNI, that’s on you and your lack of responsibility. I apologize if this comes off rude but I’m following the age rating of the games themselves. These games have explicit age ratings; because of lots of different topics btw, not just sexual.

Don’t take the character response as a sex ed lesson; always inform yourself on whatever you’re curious about. Talk to experts or experienced individuals and do your own research, if you’re a curious minor talk to trusted adults.

If you don’t use the anonymous feature then none of this applies to you, feel free to ask/comment/prompt whatever you’re comfortable with. 

Here are some examples of kinks I’m comfortable with. I can’t realistically list off every single kink so if you’re curious about a specific philia/kink just send in an ask or DM me about it and I’ll tell you if I’m comfortable:

👍🏻 Kinks  

Blindfold Sex

Exhibitionism/Voyeurism 

Breath Play

Sadism/Masochism 

Humiliation/Degradation/Praise Kink 

Role Play (I know it’s a role play blog but this category means professor/college student, doctor/nurse, boss/assistant etc.)

 Temperature Play 

👎🏻 Kinks (I won’t write for these either because I’m not on board with it or because I don’t have enough writing experience with it)

Anilingus  

Anal sex 

Cuckolding 

Foot Fetish 

Tentacles 

Golden showers 

I understand it's a lot of rules to keep in mind and some might feel uncomfortable DMing me because they don't want to reveal their account. However, these rules are meant to help keep things as safe as possible online. All DMs are completely confidential. 

If you’re still unsure about something regarding this please don’t hesitate to DM me or send an ask. I tried to think of the most important points but it’s possible I missed something.

Thank you 🌙

[m1ckeyb3rry]

I just read the answer to my ask. And to say I am amazed is an understatement.

How do you come up with these story ideas? Your head surely is heavy from how big your brain must be.

And don’t get me started on the excerpts! Your writing is so wonderful. You manage to paint such a vivid picture of the scenes and emotions inside my head that I forget I am looking at words. I hope that one day I can write like you.

I have a follow up question about when the sun dies. Have you finished that story and if yes how long is it? It sounds like an absolute Behemoth. With that plot description and the 26 year timeline it seems like a book series. On that note if you ever plan on publishing a book I will definitely buy it.

And now a change of subject, would it brother you if I use an emoji in future ask to identify myself? I would like to become a regular anon. (Is that still a thing? I haven’t seen that on tumblr in a while.)

omg thank you so so much!!! that really means a lot so thank you <3 honestly idek where my story ideas come from!! different pieces of media, dreams i have, and real life experiences all come into play for sure. i also travel a lot so things i overhear or learn about different countries’ histories/mythologies will often get incorporated into my stories!!

writing is all about practice!! if you read my earlier stories (some of which are still up but have enough people reading them that i feel bad taking them down) they are nowhere near as well written HAHAH. in the three years i’ve been seriously writing i’ve probably written ~1.5 million words. the more you write and read and engage with other works the better you will be!! if you ever want any help or advice with anything writing related then please lmk and i would be happy to try 🫶🏻

i did not ever finish wtsd!! i only wrote a couple of chapters unfortunately. it was definitely a massive massive story though and i likely would’ve had to break it up into separate books if i ever did anything with it. and thank you for saying that!! i do hope to eventually write something of my own so it means so much to know that so many people would support me if i do 🥹

yes please choose an emoji!! i would love for you to be a regular anon :) i still see anons identifying themselves on my mutuals’ blogs so idt it’s outdated at all!!

[swaggy-pregnant-elf-man]

I posted 2,985 times in 2022

That's 1,767 more posts than 2021!

23 posts created (1%)

2,962 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@elytrians

@thekidsfromyestergay

@cttrajan1206

@discardedcandywrapper

@greenbeany

I tagged 1,232 of my posts in 2022

#mcr - 290 posts

#ofmd - 79 posts

#art - 65 posts

#toh - 41 posts

#birds - 21 posts

#tiktok - 18 posts

#lol - 15 posts

#lmao - 14 posts

#fuck capitalism - 14 posts

#prev tags - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 74 characters

#🦀🦀🦀😁🦀😁😁😁😁😁😁🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀😁😁🦀🦀😩🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

HELP ITS ME SUMI

The londoner in ur birmie squad sjdhhdf

i am so sorry bro i dont think i am who u think i am 😭😭

8 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#4

aras have you seen the Joan of Arc outfit yet

I HAVE NOW KSKDKLEODJ DKDOEOL I AM GOING RVEN MORE INSANE GOING TO WATCH THE STREAM NOW

10 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

#3

3000 posts!

ashamed 😔

16 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#2

clownwife

19 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love the energy and all and I don’t want to offend but as a Muslim girl i can tell you that it is literally haram to identify as anything other than your god given gender. Like I’m not trying to be rude and I’m glad that there a respectful supportive people out there but if you’re looking at the Quran and other islamic book you’ll find stories about how its considered haram. Accepting the islam religion means accepting everything and dedicating yourself to it you can’t just pick and choose.

omg my first anon hate hahaha

i know im not obligated to answer hate but im going to anyway bcuz of i have things to say (sparkle emoji) (im on pc and dont have the energy to find an emoji keyboard)

okay first of all nowhere did i say that I identify as Muslim. i get that it was ambiguous tho so its cool. to clarify,, I am personally not Muslim but I kind of have to act like one so I don't get kicked to the streets or some shit lol and maybe I'm a bit of a coward idkkk but anyways

I would be interested to know what other Islamic books ur talking about btw, but I'm pretty sure the quran doesn't mention being trans anywhere at all. in fact I'm pretty certain, I've read it multiple times with translation and commentary interpretations and anyway being trans wasn't really a 'known' thing back then? bcuz obviously patriarchy and gender roles n segregation blah blah was wayyyy more yk. shit I forgot the word. uhhh yk like prevalent?? ofc the quran does mention a shitton about gender roles,, so yk men r the breadwinners, women raise the kids and keep house and be good wives etc. and also remember the big important fact:: GENDER AND SEX R DIFFERENT THINGS!!! meaning technically u cant be 'born' a gender (omfg my keyboard hates me imagine a question mark here) ur born with certain genitals and society assigns u a gender based on that . sounds a bit fucked when u put it like that actually but anyway back when the quran was being revealed this wasn't a known thing cuz yk they didn't have studies on this stuff,, and yea ur probably gonna say 'but the quran came from allah and he knows everything' well the fact of the matter is he either forgot or smth idk I don't speak for God but trans people definitely exist that's a fact we know so yeah. oh I should come back to my point which was, even with the quran saying those things about what ur supposed to do based on whats in ur pants which is crazy outdated anyway it doesn't take gender ≠ sex into consideration either soo ye that's the most it could've said about being trans and that not very valid anymore rip and that's not even mentioning non-binary people

and anyway Islam is literally all about acceptance and respect and everything so idk it would probably be better if u didn't go around telling ppl they're 'literally haram' for being trans or gay or any typa queer bcuz its literally not our choice (insert question marks) believe me I would fucking love to be comfortable in my 'female' body but I cant no matter how much I try to force myself so I'm sorry dude. no one would choose to be stuck in a situation like this. personally, I believe Islam needs a super massive reformation. well not Islam exactly, but a lot of things said in the quran r outdated wildly now, while a lot of it will also always be relevant, eg. everyone being equal and yk give to the poor etc. i have absolutely nothing against Muslims (I have it against my family for being so forceful about religion - different thing) yall r super cool and ik being a Muslim girl isn't easy believe me, but genuinely seeing Muslim people around and yk, just existing in wider society outside of Islamic spaces makes me feel so proud of where I came from even if its not been the best experience. have u seen the show We are Lady Parts (question mark) its about an all female Muslim punk band and there's only six episodes I literally watched it all today but the message of it is what I'm trying to get to you. u don't have to be the perfect pious wife to be considered a 'good Muslim',, there are so many ways u can show faith. you don't have to be a big strong man who can handle all pain with ease while single-handedly providing for a family either.

anyways peace out that sure was a journey lol and I definitely have forgot some of the things I wanted to say but yea that's all don't forget to like and subscribe &lt;3

(colours r to make it easier to read for people with shorter attention spans,, they don't have any other significance)

36 notes - Posted February 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ask-ikevamp-faust]

NSFW content rules/boundaries

< This potentially may never be used if no one ends up sending something that falls under this BUT it’s important it’s here just in case. Better to be safe than sorry 😊 >

[ This is a role play blog so role playing is allowed. If there’s something specific you’d like to act out, please talk to me and I will do it if I’m comfortable. I am 21+ so NSFW with limitations is allowed. 

Sexual topics: flirting and suggestive questions/comments are okay. Sexual questions/comments can also be educational/informative, I’m very comfortable with the topic in such discussions. ]

These ^ NSFW rules can be found on the original rules of this blog. Here I will explain more in detail what it means. I decided to put the rules/boundaries in question form because it seemed easier to make things clear. Will be adjusted if needed.

Is the admin really that comfortable with NSFW based content?

Yes, I did an entire semester project on it for one of my college classes (public speaking) 😂 The professor said if we could make the topic fit the project prompt and rules, we could use basically any topic. Had to run it by him, I got approved and BAM! It was all so interesting that I continue to research these things in my free time. Also, I enjoy reading erotica, it’s fun 😂

What falls under NSFW interaction?

Any exchange where you insert yourself into an explicit sexual question/prompt. 

Ex: An exchange discussing how you’d like the character to do something sexual with you or vice versa.

Ex: If you have built your own story with the character through exchanges and you want to add sexual topics.

How explicit can the roleplay get? 

At the moment, I think I’ll stick to writing as explicitly as Cybird does for their spicy scenes. If there are any changes I’ll update here. 

I have a role-play idea I want to act out with Faust, how can I set that up? (Both anon & non-anon)

Simple, DM me and tell me what you're thinking. If I feel I can create a good scene and I'm comfortable with what you're suggesting, we can set it up.

How do I know if something I said made the admin uncomfortable?

Easy, I’ll tell you immediately. 

Something the admin said in my response pushed past my limits, what do I do? 

Easy, tell me immediately. Don’t ignore the response. I can’t understand or correct the situation or apologize if you don’t communicate with me. With ALL sexual topics, in ANY situation, communication is important. I always try my best to word things as best I can while not crossing boundaries while also being in character, I can mess up sometimes, so please just be honest and tell me 😊. That being said, if you want to engage in prompt role play, you need to clearly tell me your hard limits in DM.

Can I simply ask Faust if he’s interested in something without age verification? 

Yes. You will receive a simple yes or no based response, nothing more specific. 

Ex: Faust, do you like large and small breasts? - Both are fine (saw this question in some other ask blogs 😂)

Can I ask Faust about his thoughts on certain kinks/philias without age verification?

No.   

While sex ed is taught in middle/high school, it's not ever anything related to kinks. It's usually safe sex basics and reproduction stuff (at least thats what I remember).

Can I send flirty/suggestive things without age verification? 

Yes. If I deem something is pushing this rule to its limit, my response will serve to tone down the question.

Requirement for NSFW interaction if you are sending an anonymous ask: 

Use something to identify yourself to sign off your ask (emoji, letter, random word)

DM me so I can see age (18+👍🏻 , specific age is not needed) make sure to include the sign off used in your ask so I know which one is yours.

You can remain publicly anonymous but it’s important I am able to verify that you’re an adult. If you’re a minor and you interact with the blog despite the clear MDNI, that’s on you and your lack of responsibility. I apologize if this comes off rude but I’m following the age rating of the games themselves. These games have explicit age ratings; because of lots of different topics btw, not just sexual.

Don’t take the character response as a sex ed lesson; always inform yourself on whatever you’re curious about. Talk to experts or experienced individuals and do your own research, if you’re a curious minor talk to trusted adults.

If you don’t use the anonymous feature then none of this applies to you, feel free to ask/comment/prompt whatever you’re comfortable with. 

Here are some examples of kinks I’m comfortable with. I can’t realistically list off every single kink so if you’re curious about a specific philia/kink just send in an ask or DM me about it and I’ll tell you if I’m comfortable:

👍🏻 Kinks  

Blindfold Sex

Exhibitionism/Voyeurism 

Breath Play

Sadism/Masochism 

Humiliation/Degradation/Praise Kink 

Role Play (I know it’s a role play blog but this category means professor/college student, doctor/nurse, boss/assistant etc.)

 Temperature Play 

👎🏻 Kinks (I won’t write for these either because I’m not on board with it or because I don’t have enough writing experience with it)

Anilingus  

Anal sex 

Cuckolding 

Foot Fetish 

Tentacles 

Golden showers 

I understand it's a lot of rules to keep in mind and some might feel uncomfortable DMing me because they don't want to reveal their account. However these rules are meant to help keep things as safe as possible online. All DMs are completely confidential.

If you’re still unsure about something regarding this please don’t hesitate to DM me or send an ask. I tried to think of the most important points but it’s possible I missed something.

Thank you 🌙

[writingbymoonlight]

STATUS: CLOSED

Thank you to everyone who follows me and enjoys my silly little fics! To celebrate this milestone, I wanted to do a small event.

THE THEME: MUSIC (because some of my fic ideas are inspired by songs I listen to and because I occasionally listen to music while I write)

1. Musical Muse (7/7 slots taken)

As an ask, send me a Haikyuu!! character, a trope and song lyrics (2-4 verses), and using this information, I will create a character x reader drabble that is approximately 600 words. For the song lyrics, provide the name of the song and the artist as well. But please note, I will only be using the lyrics you provide as inspiration. The drabble will not be based on the entire song. Make sure that the lyrics you send are SFW! The tropes can be anything from childhood friends to lovers, to AUs, to a sharing an umbrella, as long as it’s SFW (angsty stuff is fine). Characters and tropes can be repeated twice, respectively. However, the same character and trope combination cannot be used. For example, if someone has already selected Atsumu + meet cute, you either have to select a different character or trope. I will respond to your ask and add your character selection and trope to the list below. When I post the drabble, I will make sure to mention your username/anon emoji. Ex.: Oikawa + coffee shop au + “And isn't it just so pretty to think/ All along there was some/ Invisible string/ Tying you to me?” from “Invisible String” by Taylor Swift List: Oikawa + strangers to lovers, Kuroo + childhood friends to lovers, Atsumu + fake dating, Kita + unrequited love, Sugawara + best friends to lovers, Iwaizumi + friends to lovers, Yaku + coffee shop au

2. Pick from the Playlist (5/5 slots taken)

As an ask, send me a Haikyuu!! character and a number for from 1 to 100. The number will correspond to a song from one of my random playlists (yes, I will be exposing my taste in music). I will use this song to write some character x reader headcanons. This playlist ranges from fluffy love songs to sad ballads, so be warned. None of the song contain explicit content. Maybe some cursing/swearing, but that's about it. Character be repeated twice. Number cannot be repeated. I will respond to your ask and add your character selection and number to the list below. When I post the headcanons, I will make sure to mention your username/anon emoji. I think it would be a fun surprise to reveal the song associated to the number once I post the headcanons, but if you really want to know before that, mention it in your ask! Ex.: Sugawara + 37 List: Kuroo + 99, Bokuto + 4, Oikawa + 26, Atsumu + 17, Nishinoya + 37

Before You Enter/Rules:

You can choose only one of the options. Moots, you can choose to submit something for both!

Moots, if the slots for the one you would like to select have been filled, do not worry! You can still send in a request and I will fulfill it.

My blog is SFW, so the content I will produce for this event will be SFW.

Anons are welcomed to join! Just include an emoji I can identify you with.

For the drabbles and headcanons, I will try my best to keep everything gender neutral.

If you have any questions, do not hesitate to send me an ask!

This is my first event, so please forgive me if I am slow!

Also, please note that I'm pretty sure that this event idea is not unique, but I thought it would be fun to do.

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Hello, different anon here (I'm on anon because I have social anxiety that apparently even extends to Tumblr) and I just want to say thanks for your gender post! I've never felt anything but cis myself, so I appreciate reading accounts of how people who are anywhere else on the gender spectrum feel about it even if you don't identify with a specific label. Also I definitely cracked up at the "gender? I hardly know 'er / awkward finger guns" one, so thanks for that 😂

which is a completely legit reason to use anon, and also why I like to leave it on!

and haha you're welcome. I've always just assumed I was cis, but it's like...I dunno, I do still consider myself mostly cis, but also my gender is a shrug emoji. my gender is dumb jokes about gender. my gender is marking "woman" or "she/her" on medical forms or surveys but feeling kinda weird about it. my gender is a 404 gender not found page. my gender is void. my gender is not recognized as legal tender in this or any other country.

...you know?

and I guess I've felt that for a while, in that I haven't felt an extreme attachment to my gender, but I haven't really put words to it until fairly recently. but I have been thinking about it for a while, and I've known for quite a while that I had a tiny handful of experiences in puberty that sort of lined up with what I've seen trans people describe about dysphoria even if I didn’t necessarily recognize those experiences as specifically gender-related, and more recently for some reason I've...I dunno, allowed myself to recognize a handful of other experiences that were also...something. not experiencing gender in ways I was expected to, certainly, but also...

okay so my last haircut prepandemic when I was 100% positive I wanted it all gone and the stylist basically refused, and it was like...I walked in nervous but excited because I was finally, finally going to get the hair I'd been wanting for so long, it was finally going to be out of my way, and in the car afterward it would be fair to say I was feeling a little suicidal specifically about my hair and the idea that I wasn't ever going to be allowed to cut it the way I wanted to, that it was just always going to be like this, getting caught on things and getting in my way, and...that sounds a little bit like dysphoria, doesn't it? easy to fix, luckily! and it didn't have to be about Gender, it might have just been about hair and inconvenience, and it probably wasn't all about Gender, especially because I very specifically think women with short hair are hot, but it's still like...when I started thinking about this a little more, I'd kind of go "well, obviously, I'm cis. I mean, I don't really care about gender that much one way or the other to begin with (that's not true, just imagining myself with a dick makes me feel vaguely dysphoric, which was an early interesting data point that made me assume I couldn't be trans and continued to make me assume that, for some reason, even after I learned nonbinary genders existed), or anyway I don't care enough to have had dysphoria about it. ...except for how damn uncomfortable I was in general about growing boobs. to, hm, yes, to the extent that my reaction to people with breast cancer getting immediate reconstructive surgery after double mastectomies was 'but why though, you have just gotten RID of an annoying and inconvenient thing and now you're going out of your way to put it BACK??' but I'm sure that doesn't mean anything."

--my point is, in the context of that, the intensity of my reaction to basically being told “no you are not allowed to get rid of hair that you genuinely hate every time you’re reminded it exists” could, in fact, be related to Gender. like, the fact that I hated my hair doesn’t have to be about Gender, and it doesn’t have to be solely about Gender, but it also...doesn’t have to be not about Gender, and it makes a little more sense now to look back at how furious and despairing I was over that damn haircut and go “ooh, okay, maybe I reacted so strongly because my hair was making me feel kinda dysphoric and she’d just told me, if not in so many words, that I was stuck that way.” 

anyway.

I have no idea who wrote it or I'd actually quote it, but I know there's a post about how it's always valuable for people to think about gender or sexuality, even if they end up on a better understanding of their own straightness or cisness, because--I mean, yeah! it's always a good thing to know yourself better, to know who you are and do it on purpose. that's one of the things that drives me nuts about conservative handwringing. we're not trying to turn anyone anything, we're trying to help everyone figure out who and what they really are.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

I’m guessing all Vmins were right Sweet night is about the past. I guess it’s why Tae give it for the movie instead of for his mixtape. I’m guessing JM gave him the ok to do so and why he’s been silent about it cause it’s over between them. TK are making it too obvious. jk treating JM like they aren’t friends suddenly. jk in purple/green all the time. v not shutting up about jk suddenly. JM is not handling it well. I guess it’s why v said he likes JM the most (guess as friend) cause he feels bad

Admin 1: “Sure, go and release a song easily identified as being about us and your hope of me giving you a second chance with a hopeful ending seeing as we aren’t together anymore, sounds like a nice idea to me. Go, Taehyungie, do it. Then also let me hold your hand on national TV and show it to the cameras happily, smile sweetly at you while we stand next to the president, talk about our song and memories and how much they mean to me, perform this song that's essentially a love letter to our bond in a live-streamed concert for almost 800k people, and when you tell me you like me the most, I’ll say I like you a lot as well. Because we’re over and not even friends anymore.” Sounds like some sound logic to me, and I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible to humans.

Honestly, either I’ve just been around too long and all these asks are starting to sound the same and impossibly uncreative, or they are just getting more farfetched and bizarre. If you want a proper answer, I told you, bring something to the table that hasn’t been talked to dust yet, or leave it be.

To quote Tae, the man who knows best what he feels: 95z is love.

Until he (and Jimin) changes his mind, this is the answer I have for any and all Xkooker ask, as well as any other ship involving Tae or Jimin.

Also yes, I did see the hate against Jimin that exploded yesterday, we even have an ask about it in our inbox, and honestly these types of questions, anon? Yeah, you're not helping, in fact, you are part of the problem, just saying.

Admin 2: Man, man, man!

We didn't really want to answer these types of questions anymore, but this ask takes the trophy when it comes to delulu/nonsensical questions, so I decided to answer it after all. Because it’s hot and I need a distraction.

Also, this question basically confirms most of our suspicions we’ve had so far. Let me explain.

Folks, who is behind these kinds of stories which are being presented and preached as truth on various sns?

I don't believe this is any single persons invention (in this case, that anon came up with this idea “without help”), if anything it’s the result of delulu, and often times toxic, scenarios and stories created by a group of people intended to further a narrative and actively disrupt the “peace” within ARMY (or at least that’s what it feels like since all these things do is ignite hate and toxicity). Where is the origin of it all? Ship centric YouTube channels.

It is very evident that these "imaginative creators/shippers" behind those videos have no consideration of the consequences and harm their content does because, in my opinion, the more controversial and clickbait-y, the better. You know why? More views means more money, which is the goal of it all. We’ve spoken about this before, I believe, how these videos on “ship evidence” and “ship drama” for Xkookers are the most beloved topics of these videos and thus make up one of the easiest means of generating income, in some cases even something upward of $80k a year depending on the channels CPM, sub and view count.

The average person has to work hard all year round to make this amount of money, if they even have a job that brings in that much. So, it is not surprising that these content creators go very far in their fantasies to support their claims and keep their viewers/costumers engaged and coming back.

I wouldn't be surprised if the creators (or rather the whole lot of them) of both Xkook camps are basically the same people, because their ideas, conclusions and explanations all sound the same and follow the same nonsensical patters. Which is why we’ve already told you many times that the best thing you can do is stay away from this type of content altogether.

So! Let's analyze this ask a little more:

"…Vmins were right Sweet Night is about the past. I guess it’s why Tae give it for the movie instead of for his mixtape."

Ok, let's say Tae wrote "Sweet Night" for Jimin, but in the meantime he has changed his feelings (that's how I understand the question) so he gave the song to the Itaewon Class OST instead of putting it on his mixtape. I wanted to note that Taehyung's mixtape isn't finished yet and we will probably wait many more months for it.

It seems to me that Taehyung really wanted to show his feelings to the world, so he saw an opportunity with the OST, and therefore a quicker release for SN, and took it. The fact is that SN is about the past, but there is also hope for the future, hope for the fulfillment of wishes, which likely did come true judging by how Tae said he wrote SN during tour abroad (so sometimes summer/early autumn 2019 perhaps) and we saw vmin holding hands at the airport on Tae’s birthday in 2019 when they thought no one would see, just three months before SN was released (and likely long schedules for said release since these types of things don’t just happen overnight) and many, many other such things.

“I suspect that JM gave him his consent and why he kept silent about it because it was over between them, TK makes it too obvious. "

And I suspect that Jimin was very touched by Sweet Night and ultimately wrote Friends in which him and Tae sing: “Many promises and memories / and more to come / Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey / You are my soulmate”

The fact is that BTS didn't say much about SN, but it was the same with many of their other SC releases as well, so it wasn’t unusual, especially since SN came out while they were promoting MOTS7. Also, in my opinion, the content of this song is too personal to be able to describe/discuss the song in detail beyond the bit that was mentioned during Tae’s vlive with Namjoon. During a Japanese interview, the members basically confirmed/pointed out how romantic Tae is and when SN came up, Namjoon “coincidentally” turned around toward Jimin who has a similar facial expression of pressed lips as he did during Let’s BTS.

"JK treats JM as if they suddenly weren't friends"

And here I have caught you, dear anon. I think you're not even looking at the original BH content, but that instead you are basing your conclusions and opinions on manipulative YT ship videos instead because if you would’ve watched the original content like RUN, the recent SOWOOZOO concerts, and interviews, you wouldn’t arrive anywhere near such thoughts and conclusions.

Jimin and JK are still close, also Jimin calls JK his little brother (dongsaeng) and JK describes Jimin (or associates these words with him) as charm and cute. Does there seem to be any kind of conflict between Jimin and Jungkook? Certainly not, no.

„JK always in purple / green. v not shutting up about jk suddenly."

You mean their microphone colors? I wanted to point out how Tae wore a yellow shirt during the concert, which is the same color as the chick emoji ARMY associates with Jimin as well as his mic color. LOL.

As far as I know, when Tae has something to say, he will say it, and if he is praising JKs songs, and especially You Eyes Tell which we know is a song Tae liked a lot, that is a good thing. It simply means Tae appreciates the song JK created, appreciates and values his talents and hard work. If the entire band praises Namjoon and his lyrics/contributions on their songs, does that automatically also mean all six are “not shutting up about him” and therefore must be in love and in a relationship with him, or it’s an indicator of it? If anything, it’s merely an indicator that Tae is an honest person and JK did a good job on those songs. Easy as that.

That's my favorite part of the question: "JM doesn't handle it that well. I think that's why I said he likes JM best (as a friend, I guess) because he feels bad."

Personally, I consider myself a person with a great imagination, but I wouldn't really come up with a scenario like that.

How cruel of a person do you think Tae is? Imagine they aren’t together anymore or close anymore, or whatever else you tried to insinuate anon, and then Tae would go on national TV and do this whole thing of asking for the card in his letter to Jimin to be blurred and then said “Jimin-ah I like you the most”? To do something as hurtful as that you either have to be a sadist or an asshole and I’d like to believe even you, anon, don’t think in such a way about Tae, of all people.

Perhaps that’s something dumb teenagers or kids would do, but not adult men in their mid-twenties who see each other every single day, are part of the same team and have to work with each other. This is real life, not a soap opera. If these types of dramas really would be happening within BTS, they would’ve stopped existing as a band a long time ago because no one would be able to live with such actions and people for a prolonged amount of time. BTS are grown men, best friends, even found family, and not actors on a badly written TV show for our entertainment where they act out increasingly stupid relationship drama in which JK somehow ended up being the toy going from hand to hand like he’s not even an actual person anymore.

In summary, this question was written by a child, teenager, or an emotionally immature person naïve enough to buy into outlandish ship narratives.

Anon, hear what the members had to say during FESTA 2021. Make your own conclusions and stop watching and believing the nonsense on YouTube. As Tae said: Get out of your imagination. It’s not good in there.

[perplexingluciddreams]

(aac video anon,,??)

thanks again! back with yet another question…like previously said, am also an autistic teen struggling with speech,

for context a bit of my situation:

the gradual loss, speech is getting harder + more like mumbling harder to understand-my voice is also very quiet but that’s normal for me :P), trying to talk but not communicating. your mention of the fatigue and slow heaviness with it relates to me, have never found other autistics who lost speech so haven’t known what to do😅

so if comfortable sharing, how did your family “react” or “adjust” + how did you adjust :)

also does prloquo2go have many different voice options? your voice sounds cool :) is it just female and male or are their unisex sounding voices too? o_o

cisgender who /hj

i am glad that me posting has been helpful to you! that's the main reason i started posting, and i'm also just as excited to find another autistic person who has the same/similar experiences.

my family are really fantastic and have been so incredibly supportive and wonderful during this process of losing many abilities and needing more and more help/support in daily life. when i reached the point of barely having any understandable speech left (i was relying mostly on single words and writing/typing at that point) i had several conversations with my parents where we discussed different options- obviously we settled on AAC, then i chose an app, etc. And at this point we weren't aware that my speech would continue to be lost, none of us knew what would happen... but AAC still seemed like the best option, even if i kept or regained some speech ability (the main point for me was that i could never communicate reliably through speech, even when i could speak. i often refer to "my mouth" as a separate entity to my mind, it really just does and used to say anything without any input from me!)

yes, there are quite a few voice options on proloquo2go!! i use "Liam" pitched to "Deep". it's an Australian little boy voice but it's just the one i like the tone of best, and i like Australian accents (even though i'm Scottish!). there's not any "neutral" voices but personally i think that having the option to change pitch and speed basically means any of the voices CAN be neutral sounding, if you want.

i'd love to make another video showing some voices if you'd like? i've also changed my system considerably since that last video - that setup was not working well for me, my fine motor skills have decreased even further so i use bigger buttons and different touch settings now. also more words available with less navigation.

i've also been looking into getting some switches (buttons to control the screen) and i've already explored the "using iPad screen as a switch" option. i can also show that if you'd like.

(also i know you said you like to remain anonymous, but my DMs are always open and i'd love to chat more if you feel comfortable. absolutely no pressure though, receiving asks always makes me do all the happy stims and noises, so you're very welcome to keep sending things here. maybe if you want to keep doing this you could come up with a quick way for me to identify you? like an emoji or initials? i think that would be really cool! and still anonymous but fun:D).

[blue-shaded]

@ the Corpse and Dream anon, I’m the anon who made that one ask and I’m not here to speak for Blue (Blue, please respond saying if I’m wrong or not). When you say “what do you think Blue is doing?” I assume you mean that you think they’re here to dig up bad shit about people. But from what I understand, Blue isn’t here to dig up dirt themselves. From what I understand, their blog is for discussion and spreading information that they DO know. They often rely on those they’re having those discussions with, asking for sources from them instead of them trying to do research themselves (which is understandable, despite what bitter, whiny anons may say, Blue has a life outside of this, a full time job too!)

Also, if this is gonna continue on for a while, I’ll call myself Response Anon, because my original ask was some sort of response. In other words, idk what to call myself lol

You can identify yourself with an emoji. A lot of people do that here! I don’t dig for shit on people. I do however research things sometimes. But again yes as you said, I have a life outside of this so often I don’t have time to look things up and then rely on anons. If anyone here thinks they are entitled to me finding everything about anything and digging dirt 24/7. Then fuck you. i dont owe anyone anything. Your idea of my blog is absolutely correct.

[theclingiestbitch]

Dare you to answer all 40 questions

BET

1. What's something that you'd drop everything to do?

Cha cha slide Help out somebody else

2. If you could pick anyone, who would you spend a sleepover with?

@wethepotterheads0214 and @thatoneemobooknerd

3. What's your favorite mobile game?

idk

4. Do you have a crush right now? What are they like?

He’s super sweet and understanding and he listens and he’s hot a really nice person

5. How do you define your own aesthetic?

All over the place tbh. One minute it’s pastel the next it’s emo and then on to neon

6. What style do you wish you could pull off?

I could pull off pretty much anything

7. If you could pick any fantasy creature to be your pet, which would you pick?

A hippogriff

8. What's your favorite song at the moment?

So many. UGH, Ddaeng, Cypher 3, and Filter by BTS. Ddu du ddu du by Blackpink, and Level of Concern and Levitate by Twenty One Pilots

9. What's your favorite album at the moment?

Map Of The Soul:7 By BTS

10. What place makes you feel nostalgic?

idk

11. Do you like wearing makeup?

Yes!! I love makeup!

12. What's the most magical place you've ever been to?

I don’t think a place alone is magical. I think there’s magic in just laying in a loved one’s bed and cuddling and holding their hand and playing with their hair

13. Would you rather have wings or a mermaid tail?

Wings

14. What's your favorite kind of pasta?

Bowtie! They look like.. Bowties

15. Do you identify with your star sign?

idk 

16. Do you like rollercoasters? Do you have a favorite one that you've been on?

I love rollarcoasters! Can’t pick a favorite though

17. What's your favorite emoji?

💕

18. Do you take a lot of selfies?

Not really

19. What's your favorite part about yourself?

My tattoos. They’re really pretty.

20. How many people have you kissed?

A lot. 13 off the top of my head but probably more than that

21. Do you prefer movies or shows?

Shows

22. What's your favorite thing to doodle?

Flowers

23. Have you said "I love you" to anyone in the past 24 hours?

Yeah! 4 people

24. What's your favorite book genre?

Horror

25. What's something you find overrated?

Love at first sight

26. What's your favorite meme right now?

idk

27. Do you have a favorite comedian?

No (Does Markiplier count)

28. Do you play video games? What's your favorite?

Don’t have a favorite

29. Do people consider you funny?

Idk. @wethepotterheads0214 @thatoneemobooknerd Guys am I funny?

30. What features are you attracted to?

Kindness and loyalty

31. Do you prefer more muted colors or bright pastels?

Both!

32. Fairy lights or neon signs?

Both!

33. Do you think your appearance matches your mind?

My mind is all over the place like my appearance so yeah

34. What skill are you most proud of for having?

My ukulele skills! Also I learn languages fast!

35. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Yeah

36. Who inspires you?

BTS mainly right now. Especially Yoongi

37. Are you more left brained or right brained?

Idk

38. What's your favorite word?

Grape

39. What's your favorite card game?

Uno

40: Do you believe in fate?

No

There ya go Anon!

[dearlazerbunny]

In Defense of the Heart

Pairings: Kylo x Reader

Genre/Rating: Modern AU, T for some smooching

Words: 3600

Summary: For anon, who requested a modern AU and a pairing with an age gap. Anon, as always, please let me know what you think and if you want me to tweak anything- I want it to be perfect for you! : )

Sighing as you open the door to the shop, you haul the big wooden slab open and walk into the cool air conditioning. This was the fourth and final place on your list to visit, and considering you’d never heard of this shop before, it wasn’t real high on the expectations front.

It certainly looked impressive though. Swords and weapons of all kinds are hanging from the walls in an enticing display. You were itching to get your fingers on them, hands twitching as you approached the counter. But every other prop shop had been either too expensive or too stingy with their weapons and not letting you actually handle a rapier, leading you to believe they weren’t really all that confident in their product. Maybe this one would be a diamond in the rough.

“Can I help you?”

Well, hello. A tall, dark, and handsome man walks around to the back of the counter, black curls rustling slightly from the weight of a fan blowing nearby like some sort of freaking model. You were a bit tongue tied, you had to admit, but you quickly got your bearings and cleared your throat.

“Hi. I’m looking for rapiers, preferably fourteenth or fifteenth century. At least two of them, but preferably we’d have a couple spares just in case.”

“Hm, let me guess.” The man leans on the counter and settles into a thinking pose. “Hamlet?”

You grin. “How’d you know?”

“Well, fourteenth century rapiers. But your shirt also kind of gives it away,” he teases. You look down and see your show shirt proudly displaying Hamlet across your chest, and you blush.

“Right. Do you think you might have what I need?’

“I believe I do.” Reaching into a glass case he unlocks with a key around his neck, he pulls out two absolutely beautiful silver rapiers, one with a gold embellished handle. “I’m thinking the fancier one for Hamlet, yeah? Being the prince and all.”

“Oh, wow. May I-?”

“Of course. Here, I have some gloves you can borrow.” He pulls out a set of worn leather swordsmanship gloves, clearly well loved. As you tug them on, you can tell they’re much too big, but they’ll do for the moment. You pick up the gilded raper and admire the hilt, which is studded with tiny colorful gems. The second is a simpler design, but still elegant and poised, just begging you to take a swing with it. Which you do, stepping into the large middle arena of the shop and taking a few jabs experimentally. It sings through the air and puts a huge smile on your face.

“You handle them well.” He seems to respect that. “You a fight coordinator?”

“In training,” you reply, setting them carefully back down on the wooden counter. “But I’ve got enough experience to take care of weapons, rest assured.”

“The way you handled that; no surprise there.” The compliment gives you happy little feelings shooting through your heart. Always nice when your work is appreciated.

“They’re perfect.” You return the gloves to their owner and take a deep breath. This was always the hardest part. “What are you asking to rent them for, say, two weeks?”

“I’ll give them to you for twenty dollars a day.”

You immediately raise an eyebrow. “That’s it? Are you sure these aren’t already poisoned?”

That makes him laugh, which is a really beautiful sound, if you had to admit it to yourself. “College theatre, I remember how it was. You probably don’t have a huge budget to waste just on swords.figured I’d give you a bit of a discount.”

“That would be amazing, thank you so much.” You roll your eyes. “All the other guys wanted a hundred dollars a day.”

“Yeah, you’ll run into that in traditional stores. Luckily, we are not that.” He winks at you, and that sends all sorts of heat shooting to your cheeks.

“Oh really? What makes you non traditional?”

“Well, for one thing, we specialize in science fiction weapons.” He grins, and you can tell this is really his pride and joy. “You don’t see that in many weapons shops.

“True,” you agree, looking around for anything sci-fi but not finding anything. “Mind showing me what you’ve got?”

“Finally ready to take Hamlet out of the dark ages?”

“Let’s chalk it up to professional curiosity.”

You grin at the sparkle in his eyes as he taps a finger on the counter. “I’ll be right back.”

When he returns, you’re texting your stage manager about the amazing deal you just scored (she sent back a hallelujah emoji). “Whatcha got for me?”

“Only the next up-and-coming weapon of choice for nerds everywhere.”

You laugh as he lays two hilts down on the counter. They’r a bit bulky, with good grips, and look to be made of welded metal plated all fitted into place. It’s great craftsmanship, but… “I’m assuming there’s a blade somewhere?” “Better.” He picks one up and turns it around carefully in his hands, you can tell he’s savoring the moment. He seems to find some sort of activation plate near the base and all of a sudden a beam of light shoots out of the barrel, humming softly.

“Holy shit.”the light seems to shimmer in midair, a straight column of energy in a gorgeous green color. You wave a hand through the beam, laughing in glee when it colors your hand green. “This is incredible! What do you even call it?”

“It’s been affectionately dubbed a light saber.” With the reverence he said it with, you couldn’t help but wonder if he’d dubbed them that himself. “And this one happens to be my personal favorite…” the other one is an electric red and has two small cross guards shooting out the bottom.

“These are amazing! Please tell me you’re going to let me try one.”

Now it’s his turn to raise an eyebrow. “Well that’s what they’re here for; to use. What’s the point, otherwise?”

“The other guys seem to think differently. They wouldn’t so much as let me touch any of their weapons.”

He snorts. “I think you’ll find almost everyone in the industry is a complete dick.” He holds out the hilt of the green one to you. “Ready to try?”

“Oh hell yes.” You activate it and watch in amazement as it roars to life. “Custom sound effects?”

“Made right here in the shop.”

“You made these?”

“Something of a pet project,” he admits sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders like you’re going to laugh at him.

“Absolutely incredible,” you breathe, putting it up to your face and looking straight down the saber. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Designed in house, so I should hope not. Now, the trick to these is to only just touch the beams together so they look like they’re resisting against one another, rather than going straight through.” He holds up his own light saber and puts it directly next to yours so that the colors are touching, but not blending. “Bit difficult to get used to, but-”

“Try me.”

He laughs. “I can do that. Start simple.”

You raise your weapon into and offensive position and swing, while he raises his own to block you. You stop millimeters away from his light to form a perfect clash of colors.

 He whistles under his breath. “Impressive control. How long you been doing this?”

“Just a few years. Kind of self taught.” You go for another swing and block combo, this time with an added bit of fancy swinging. “But I’m told I’m good at what I do.”

“I’ll say. Most people can’t get the hang of these right off the bat.” He steps back a few feet and begins a complicated looking sweep of overhead swings and turns, eventually ending with the point at your throat.

“Well now you’re just showing off.”

“I have had some practice,” he laughs, releasing the button and the light disappearing. You do the same. “What do you say? Think Hamlet is ready for an update.?”

“Not so sure our patrons would appreciate that,” you giggle. “But I’ll absolutely take the rapiers.”

“Awesome. Let me just go draw up a contract. Two weeks you said?”

He heads of to a back room and you grab the red light saber he was using from the counter to play with, attempting those fancy turns he had thrown in. You almost dropped the whole thing all together, but taking it slowly you managed to get it around your head and back in front of you. You don’t even notice him watching you from the doorway, with something in his eyes you wouldn’t be able to identify.

“Here you go, it’s all in there.” He hands the papers and swords over to you after you sign. “Let me know how it goes, okay?”

“I absolutely will, thank you so much…”

“Kylo.” He holds out a broad hand to shake and you take it heartily, matching his grip.

“Y/N. Again, thank you so, so much.”

“Anytime.” He’s smiling behind you as you walk out the door.

…..

Well, opening night was clearly a success, judging by the standing ovation the cast received at the end of the show. You don’t have much to do after cleaning and securing the swords backstage, so you wander out to the main hall where patrons are streaming from the theater, chattering excitedly- hopefully about the play they just saw. As the room emptied, a lone man with a bouquet of flowers stood off to the side, seemingly searching for someone in the crowd.

“Excuse me, sir? The actors are all meeting with their families backstage if you’d like to- Kylo!” He turns around at the sound of your voice and it’s the man from the props shop.

“Hey there,” he smiles. “Glad I caught you.”

“Here to check up on your weapons?” You tease. “ Promise they’re clean and locked up backstage.”

“Well actually, I came to see the show.”

“You did?”

“To check on my swords, of course,” he winks, then proffers the bouquet of flowers. “These are for you.”

“Oh, wow.” It’s a beautiful arrangement of flowers with big colorful blooms. “That is so thoughtful of you, thank you so much!”

“Figured you deserved a reward for all your hard work, since you don’t get to stand up there and take a bow.”

You blush. “It’s really not that big of a deal, I’m happy the actors get the recognition-”

“Well, it was a brilliantly choreographed fight. Really well done.”

“High praise, coming from you.”

“You deserve it.

Your cheeks are now on fire from all the compliments and- flirting? Was he flirting? You hoped so- tall, dark, handsome and good with swords? Count you in.

“Listen, I was about to head out and get something to eat- would you mind joining me?”

Oh, heck yes. Of course, you didn’t say that out loud.

“I would love to.” You wave your flowers in the general direction of backstage. “Let me just go grab my stuff, yeah?”

“I’ll be here.”

The two of you ended up at a small coffee shop open late a few blocks from the theatre. It was misting as you walked, and when you shivered, Kylo gallantly threw his leather jacket over your shoulders, making you warm from head to toe- and not just because of the jacket.

The place was small and cozy, an the two of you claim a table in the back after ordering a heap of various baked goods and coffee.

“So, what’d you think of the show?”

“Best production I’ve seen in a long time.”

“Wow, thank you. That really means a lot.”

“Anytime. He grins at you, and you grin back.

The two of you devour your plates of food and chat the entire time, about anything and everything. How you both got into the business, how long you’d been doing it, but also just random life stuff, almost like you were talking to your best friend. He was so easy to get to know, it felt like you’d known him all your life.

“Jesus, look at the time.” He glances at the face of his phone. “I hate to cut this short but I have to open early tomorrow.”

“Hey, no problem. I should probably be getting back as well. But-” you tried to find the words that wouldn’t make you sound too sappy- ‘I had a really fun time tonight.”

“Likewise.” There’s a sparkle in his eyes that you very much enjoy. “We should do it again sometime. Here-” he reaches into one of his pockets and pulls out a business card. “My number.”

You take it, hoping you’re not blushing too badly. “Why thank you. I’ll call you sometime?”

“I look forward to it.” In a flash, he’s gone leaving you standing there clutching his business card in one hand. Well, this was going to be interesting.

…..

You called him a few days later, not wanting to seem desperate, but the truth is you were dying to see him again. He picked up on the first ring and suggested you go out again that night after the play, which you readily agreed to. Once again, he brought flowers and took you to the same little coffee shop, where you talked for hours on end. This continued up until the last matinee of the show, which you were sad about for more than one reason. What if he was only chatting you up because of the business agreement, and once the show was over, he’d disappear for good?

Happily, when you took the rapiers in to return them, your theory was unfounded. You tried to hand them over but he shook is head and smiled, handing one back to you. “Keep it. I’ve got an idea.” After handing you a rig to carry the sword on your back, he takes your hand (much to your delight) and begins walking in the direction of a park about three blocks from his shop.

The sun is shining, kids are running around on the playground with parents sitting near and there’s even a few picnickers here and there dotting the landscape. He surveys the land like he’s looking for something, and apparently decides to lead you on top of a small hill with a huge oak spreading its branches overhead, casting the two of you in dappled sunlight.

He grins, drawing his rapier. “Well? Have at me.”

You giggle. “Excuse me?”

“I want to see some of that famous fight choreography up close and personal. Show me what you got.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Really. You want to fight me.”

“I really, really do.” He winks at you. “Nothing sexier than a girl who can fight.”

Well, hello. You draw your own weapon and settle into a beginning stance. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Consider me warned.”

You open with an overhead strike, a bit difficult considering his height, but you manage. He parries the blow easily and goes for a body shot, which you knock away and immediately counter. He’s incredible, there’s no doubt about it. He looks like he’s dancing rather than fighting, easily moving with your flow like he can anticipate your every move. As the two of you exchange blows, you gather a small crowd who begin to cheer and gasp as the two of you circle closer and closer to landing a blow.

Finally, you decide to play dirty- you intentionally fake a weak move in order to sweep your leg into his, knocking him to the ground. You jam your blade through the hilt of his sword, effectively pinning it to the ground. You grin. “I think I take this one.”

“Oh really?” While you’re gloating, he manages to grab your wrist and yank until you lose your balance, falling and landing squarely on top of him. Before you even have time to get embarrassed, he’s reached up and pressed his lips to yours, capturing you in a heated kiss. The smattering of people who’d gather to watch cheer and whistle as he pulls you into him, wrapping an arm around your back.

Finally releasing you, you sit up, almost dazed from the sudden kiss. But you’re smiling as you land with a thud on the grass, shaking your head as the crowd begins to disperse. “I don’t think that move is in the rule book.”

“Hm.” He’s still laying in the grass, hands behind his head, looking insanely pleased with himself. “Maybe we should add it then.”

You laugh and go in for another kiss.

The two of you spend the afternoon under the oak tree, laughing, talking, and yes, kissing. Kissing that makes your head spin and your heart swirl and thud out of your chest. But you wouldn’t trade sitting under the shade of that tree for anything in the world.

As the sun begins to set, you lift your head from where it’s resting on his shoulder and check your watch. “Ah, crap, I better get going.”

“What, got somewhere better to be?”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Not exactly, but I do have an 8AM tomorrow, so, you know…”

“An eight AM what?”

“Um, class?” You look at him confusedly. “You know, that whole college thing?”

“Wait, wait- you’re in college?”

“Well, yes. It’s my senior year. I never mentioned that?”

“No, no you didn’t.” He looks a little weird, and his facial expression is something you can’t place.

“Well, surprise, I guess. Why’d you think I was working on a college production if I wasn’t a student myself?”

“I- I don’t know. I-” he stands abruptly, pulling away so quickly you almost groan at the loss of heat. Gathering the rapiers which had been cast aside in favor of sitting together, he hurries down the hill. “I’ll see you later okay?”

“Kylo? Kylo, wait, is something wrong?”

He doesn’t answer, and all you see is his retreating back into the setting sun.

What the actual hell?

…..

A month. A whole, entire month went by without aa word from Kylo. You couldn’t understand it- that day in the park you were sure was something special, and now he’s not responding to any of your texts or calls. Who kisses someone like that and then completely cuts them off?

Unfortunately you still had one more order of business with him- the payment for renting the rapiers during the run of Hamlet. You walk in not even expecting him to be there, but there his is, leaning against the counter like he hasn’t got a care in the world. Fucking fantastic.

“Here.” You promised yourself you wouldn’t let your emotions get the best of you but you ended up slamming the money onto the counter. “All $200 of it. Have a nice life.”

“Y/N, wait-”

“What, Kylo? Finally got something to say? After a month of radio silence?”

“I can explain.”

“Well it better be pretty fucking good.” You cross your arms and wait. He just sort of stands there and stares at you for a minute, then takes a deep breath.

“If I ask you a question, you have to answer me honestly. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“How old are you?”

“How-? I’m twenty one. What does that have to do with absolutely anything here?”

“It has everything to do with it!” He yells, and at first you’re taken aback by him raising his voice, but then it just gives you an even better reason to get angry.

“I don’t see how! I thought-” to your horror, your voice cracks. “I thought you liked me. Stupid of me, I guess.”

“I do like you. A lot. And that’s the problem. I can’t like you.”

“Because-” It finally dawns on you. “Because of my age? Kylo, are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not! I’m thirty years old, Y/N! I’m practically a decade older than you!”

“Pardon my apparent stupidity, but I’m still not seeing how this is a problem.”

He runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. “You’re not stupid, stop saying that. I just… I can’t date a girl who’s two thirds my age. It would just be wrong.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

He doesn’t answer that. Just looks down at his hands braced on the counter. “I’m sorry.”

“Well I’m not.” He looks up at you, confused, until you hop up onto the counter, swing your legs over to the other side, and kiss him for all you’re worth. At first, he acts like he’s going to pull away, but eventually he melts into you, returning your affection tenfold, working your lips at an agonizingly slow pace. Enough for your entire body to heat up in want.

When you finally pull away, he’s just as breathless as you are, and you rest your forehead against his, speaking as soft as you dare. “Listen to me. If you really, honestly want to throw this all away, I will walk out that door and you will never see me again. But I don’t think you do. Because we have something, Kylo. Something… amazing. And we’re just now starting to figure it out.” You take a breath. “I don’t want it to be over before it’s even begun.”

He looks into your eyes, brown fathomless pools you could dive into and get lost in forever. “I… I don’t want it to, either.”

Humming in contentment, you press another soft kiss to his lips. “Good. Because with a shop like this? You’re not getting rid of me. Ever.”

It’s so good to see a smile light up his face. “I think I can manage that.”

[swaggy-pregnant-elf-man]

I love the energy and all and I don’t want to offend but as a Muslim girl i can tell you that it is literally haram to identify as anything other than your god given gender. Like I’m not trying to be rude and I’m glad that there a respectful supportive people out there but if you’re looking at the Quran and other islamic book you’ll find stories about how its considered haram. Accepting the islam religion means accepting everything and dedicating yourself to it you can’t just pick and choose.

omg my first anon hate hahaha

i know im not obligated to answer hate but im going to anyway bcuz of i have things to say (sparkle emoji) (im on pc and dont have the energy to find an emoji keyboard)

okay first of all nowhere did i say that I identify as Muslim. i get that it was ambiguous tho so its cool. to clarify,, I am personally not Muslim but I kind of have to act like one so I don't get kicked to the streets or some shit lol and maybe I'm a bit of a coward idkkk but anyways

I would be interested to know what other Islamic books ur talking about btw, but I'm pretty sure the quran doesn't mention being trans anywhere at all. in fact I'm pretty certain, I've read it multiple times with translation and commentary interpretations and anyway being trans wasn't really a 'known' thing back then? bcuz obviously patriarchy and gender roles n segregation blah blah was wayyyy more yk. shit I forgot the word. uhhh yk like prevalent?? ofc the quran does mention a shitton about gender roles,, so yk men r the breadwinners, women raise the kids and keep house and be good wives etc. and also remember the big important fact:: GENDER AND SEX R DIFFERENT THINGS!!! meaning technically u cant be 'born' a gender (omfg my keyboard hates me imagine a question mark here) ur born with certain genitals and society assigns u a gender based on that . sounds a bit fucked when u put it like that actually but anyway back when the quran was being revealed this wasn't a known thing cuz yk they didn't have studies on this stuff,, and yea ur probably gonna say 'but the quran came from allah and he knows everything' well the fact of the matter is he either forgot or smth idk I don't speak for God but trans people definitely exist that's a fact we know so yeah. oh I should come back to my point which was, even with the quran saying those things about what ur supposed to do based on whats in ur pants which is crazy outdated anyway it doesn't take gender ≠ sex into consideration either soo ye that's the most it could've said about being trans and that not very valid anymore rip and that's not even mentioning non-binary people

and anyway Islam is literally all about acceptance and respect and everything so idk it would probably be better if u didn't go around telling ppl they're 'literally haram' for being trans or gay or any typa queer bcuz its literally not our choice (insert question marks) believe me I would fucking love to be comfortable in my 'female' body but I cant no matter how much I try to force myself so I'm sorry dude. no one would choose to be stuck in a situation like this. personally, I believe Islam needs a super massive reformation. well not Islam exactly, but a lot of things said in the quran r outdated wildly now, while a lot of it will also always be relevant, eg. everyone being equal and yk give to the poor etc. i have absolutely nothing against Muslims (I have it against my family for being so forceful about religion - different thing) yall r super cool and ik being a Muslim girl isn't easy believe me, but genuinely seeing Muslim people around and yk, just existing in wider society outside of Islamic spaces makes me feel so proud of where I came from even if its not been the best experience. have u seen the show We are Lady Parts (question mark) its about an all female Muslim punk band and there's only six episodes I literally watched it all today but the message of it is what I'm trying to get to you. u don't have to be the perfect pious wife to be considered a 'good Muslim',, there are so many ways u can show faith. you don't have to be a big strong man who can handle all pain with ease while single-handedly providing for a family either.

anyways peace out that sure was a journey lol and I definitely have forgot some of the things I wanted to say but yea that's all don't forget to like and subscribe <3

(colours r to make it easier to read for people with shorter attention spans,, they don't have any other significance)