#also yes i just took a picture of my screen w my phone cause i didnt feel like breaking out the clipping tool

[rexscanonwife]

Oh also I was flipping out over how FUCKING HUGE All Might's hands are to Ruby bcs she's a wonderful partner and

THIS STILL MAKES ME WHEEZE EVERY TIME I THINK ABOUT IT 😂😂😂

[kyuuppi]

Genshin men Instagram HCs

Ft. Xiao; Scaramouche; Zhongli; Childe; Alhaitham; Kaveh; Tighnari

(gender neutral reader but wears a dress in Scara & Zhongli's parts)

Xiao // @ a1atus

★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★

Very rarely posts

Never pictures of himself, you’ll only see his face in tagged photos

If he does post, it’s probably a new album cover of a band he likes, a particularly good plate of almond tofu from his favorite café, or—if he’s in a particularly good mood—a cute stray cat that befriended him on the street

Never edits anything but still takes pretty decent photos because he understands basic composition rules

Never tags anything but will sometimes write simple captions like “new guitar”

His pfp has not changed since he made his account and its literally just the blandest selfie you’ve ever seen—but he’s effortlessly photogenic so even when he’s just staring at the camera with a blank expression he looks hot

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

Xiao will unintentionally do his loyal boyfriend duties and like all of your posts but he never actually leaves a comment unless you specifically ask him to but you have to tell him what to say or else you’ll just get something like “your hair is nice” LOL

Maybe makes one post related to you but it doesn’t have your face—just picture of your hands holding each other or a photo he secretly took of you from behind as you admire some paintings from when he took you on an art gallery date

Still doesn’t write much in captions but if the post includes you, he always adds a little black heart emoji 🖤

Scaramouche // @ balladeer

★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★

Vehemently claims he’s not chronically online but he definitely is

Def has a dark / emo aesthetic profile and puts more effort into it than he’d ever admit

Uses stories pretty frequently

Usually to show off his game stats and victories or to vent about some annoying inconvenience that's just happened to him 

balladeer Jfc the train is late again I may as well just walk home everyday ffs

All his late night gaming photos are so highly saturated in his pitch black bedroom, the only source of light being his screen on max brightness and his violet RGB keyboard. If you raise the screen brightness on your phone you might be able to make out some empty Monster cans and ramen cups on his desk—he absolutely gives Discord / Reddit mod vibes 🤢

Definitely has a story archive just for Valorant 🤮

I wanna fuck him so bad it makes me look stupid—

Posts a few selfies to show a new piercing or the very rare occasion where he’s feeling really confident in his looks

unintentionally thirst traps the emo boy lovers; yes, I am talking about you and I—

Lightly edits photos or uses filters to make them look good but nothing extreme or super aesthetic, mostly just for decent contrast

Usually the first one to see any of his friends posts but never ‘likes’ them

Will leave snarky or sarcastic comments when the mood strikes tho

His pfp is a candid picture someone else took that he thinks he looks decent in—sticking his tongue out and giving double middle fingers to the camera

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

Makes a post or story for every date you guys have, even if it’s just a vague picture of your shoes together

He likes to show off that he has such an attractive s/o but also lowkey just wants to have a memory to look back on for the nights he feels lonely

Doesn’t post just you though, he’s always in frame holding you or touching you in some way—he feels the need to put some sort of claim cause he thinks people are gonna shoot their shot with you—he’s kinda paranoid and insecure, pls have patience w him

Likes and comments on all of your posts. Sometimes it's a snarky quip like if you post about you and your friends doing something funny he might comment “lmao ur so dumb” but if its a selfie or something you’re proud of, he leaves a little compliment and heart emoji.

YN0103 [bedroom mirror selfie of you shyly posing in a dress]

YN0103  Bought a new dress today…it’s not my usual style but I rlly like it 🥺

balladeer cute 💜

If anyone ever confronts him in person about his nice comments on your posts tho he’ll get flustered and claim his account was temporarily hacked LOL

His heart def flutters when you post a picture of him on your own account

He kinda can’t believe you’re proud enough of him to publicly post about him

Changes his pfp to the two of you together and, if you zoom in and squint, you can tell he’s kind of smiling <3

Zhongli // @ rex_lapis

★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★

I’m sorry but I have to do it…

He has Facebook grandpa vibes

Like he has no idea how to use half of the features; stories are an absolute mystery to him. What is a reel?

But he tries to be supportive of his friends and will leave way-too eloquent comments with a Wikipedia levels of supplemental information

a1atus [ photo of a shiny Fender acoustic guitar laying on what seems to be a bed]

a1atus new guitar

rex_lapis Lovely new instrument, Xiao. You seem to have quite good tastes – that particular model is popular among many professional musicians. It is well renowned for its clear sound and beautiful mahogany exterior. If you wouldn’t mind, I would love to hear you play it someday over tea.

a1atus @ rex_lapis thanks

the way I cackled writing that exchange ygweyufgwyu Xiaos just like ‘thanks for commenting dad’

His pfp is not him—it’s probably a famous painting he likes or a beautiful white flower from a garden he visited

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

If you want him to improve his Insta game, you’re going to have to teach him, I’m sorry

On the up side, Zhongli is a great student and is eager to learn anything you teach him

Will try to post pretty regularly; usually somewhat mediocre photos of beautiful scenery like sunsets and flowers

Like Scaramouche, he enjoys the idea of documentary your time together so he posts something at the end of each of your dates

Your heart lowkey melts when Zhongli, very earnestly, asks after dinner if you’ll allow him to take a selfie with you to post on his Instagram

Regularly asks for feedback on his posts to ensure he’s properly taking your advice and improving :,)

He even starts organizing and naming story archives on his profile—simple titles like “tea,” “nature,” “friends,” and “my dearest”

Likes and comments on every single one of your posts and replies to all of your stories, even if he was there with you

Usually just lathers you in compliments on your beauty or tastes but they’re so thoughtfully written that it’s obvious he’s not “just saying it” and genuinely believes all the kind things about you he writes

YN1231 [photo of you twirling in a summer dress amidst a colorful of bed of flowers in a botanical garden, take by your friend]

YN1231 It’s finally starting to feel like spring! 🌸🌼🌺

rex_lapis While the camelias are lovely, they pale in comparison to your radiance. Your yellow sundress is also quite lovely and compliments your complexion in the morning sunlight. Truly a divine sight. 

balladeer @ YN1231 @ rex_lapis ugh can you guys keep it in the DMs

- Changes his pfp to a selfie of himself smiling after you told him he should. The angle is a little odd but he’s so naturally attractive that he still manages to look good. 

Ajax // @ tartaglia_on_top 

★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★

Doesn’t post too often but when he does, it kinda gives stereotypical frat boy

Like, lots of parties and shirtless beach photos with his friends

The surprise is the occasional posts of his little siblings and kids he volunteers with in between

He sometimes posts championship and practice photos from his martial arts competitions with captions thanking his team and mentors

Is pretty popular—has a few thousand followers, many are people he met just once or twice at parties or genuine friends and classmates, but the vast majority are online fans who just follow cause he’s hot LOL

Is the type of person you followed once after meeting a long time ago and never talk to again but you can’t bring yourself to unfollow cause he’s nice and his updates are kinda interesting and he’s hot

Isn’t online that much so he doesn’t like/comment on his friends’ every post but usually tries to leave congratulatory messages when someone accomplishes something or graduates

His pfp is a closeup of himself with a boyish grin he cropped from a group photo

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

It is super obvious when you guys start dating cause almost every post from that point is about you in some way LOL

tartaglia_on_top [photo of Ajax, sweaty and exhausted but clearly excited as he holds a trophy in one hand with the other wrapped around your waist while he presses a kiss to your cheek]

tartaglia_on_top Officially a 3 year championship winner! Thanks to my biggest supporter @ YN0720 😘

He’s not even consciously trying to post you all the time, it just happens because you are either always together or any memorable moment he thinks are worth an Insta post involve you in some way

You’re the only person, aside from his family - that he actually likes/comments on all posts for

Is the type of boyfriend to leave those super dramatic, embarrassing comments on your selfies like “DAAAMN BABE 🥵 finna make me act UP” and, in one particularly shameless case, “god youre so hot pls step on me queen 😍” 

Please block him

He shamelessly liked all your past posts from before you too met as well—you were kinda mortified to wake up one morning to a notification that just said “what a lil cutie ❤️” on a post of yourself from seventh grade. 

Changes his pfp to a couple selfie he took of the two of you kissing on a winter vacation in the mountains

Kaveh // @ kaveh.designs

★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★

Obsessed with having an aesthetic profile

Like, the color palette of the background and clothing in his pfp selfie are carefully matched with the cover of each of his story archives, down to the hex code

He carefully edits every post and uses filters to make them all fit with his theme no matter how inaccurate to real life they may become

“Huh…I thought your bedroom wall was a bit more orange than this…” 

“Oh, that’s cause I use 30% Juno in all my bedroom photos for a warmer finish.”

“???”

Despite his aesthetic profile, he doesn’t come off as particularly vain or narcissistic—only posts selfies when he’s has a particularly good hair day or changed his accessories

Most of his posts are of places he travels to (museums and big cities with interesting architecture) or his own sketches and rendered design projects

Online pretty frequently, always checks insta when he wakes up, before bed, and during lunch breaks

His stories are often project updates, interesting things he encounters throughout the day, or food photos

Only likes posts he actually likes and sometimes comments with photography critiques

tighnar1 [photo of a cluster of three bright blue mushrooms clustered against vibrant green grass and patches of dark, wet soil]

tighnar1 Proof the forest is an amazing place: found this beautiful little cluster of juvenile Rakkhashava mushrooms on my hike today. Great spotting by @ colleeei. Check my story for some cool mushroom facts. 🍄

kaveh.designs great photo composition, Tigh, perfect golden ratio on the caps.

tighnar1 @ kaveh.designs Thanks I guess…

Has a decent number of followers, many of whom are also artists familiar with Kaveh’s reputation from the Kshahrewar. Others just like his OOTD stories and charming smile

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

Kaveh revamps his entire profile once you two become official

His pfp becomes a candid taken by a stranger of the two of you together at an aquarium, holding hands as you point something out to him through the glass

It was taken by a photographer working at the aquarium as part of a promotion—the photographer showed you two the photo and asked for permission to post it on their official website and Kaveh was absolutely obsessed with the photo—it’s still one of his favorite and it doesn’t even show your faces

He still matches his archived story covers to his new pfp but his actual feed had become a lot more relaxed and natural now

He still slightly edits photos so they look as good as possible, but he doesn’t like using filters on photos of you or the two of you together because he thinks it would be a disservice to your natural beauty

Like Ajax, his posts and stories naturally become mostly about you whether scenes from your dates—candid photos he takes of you where he insists you look like art even though you’re just in pajamas with an unmade face—or even photos of things he sees throughout the day that remind him of you

Sometimes he posts stories of funny reels or art pieces he knows you’d like and tags you in them with messages like “@YN0709 omg remember when we were talking abt this?” and “me & @ YN0709💕”

Similar to Childe, leaves the most downbad, dramatic comments on your posts

YN0709 [swimsuit selfie]

YN0709 happy summer! ☀️🌊

kaveh.designs Oh my god my heart– 💘 I cannot believe I get to come home to this every night 👅💦

YN0709 @ kaveh.designs omg kaveh pls 💀

al_haitham @ kaveh.designs Every time I see one of your comments I regret ever learning how to read.

Alhaitham // @ al_haitham  

★ ★ pre-relationship ★ ★

Only made an account so his friends would stop bothering him about not keeping up with things tbh

Checks his feed a few times a day but skips through stories if they’re too long/too many

Absolutely hates concert stories the most cause they’d loud, long, and filled with off-key drunken singing

Never likes or comments on anything unless it’s really interesting to him

Occasionally shares reels in his story that are like interesting history facts or official Akademiya announcements

Has a few posts (and only cause Kaveh would not shut up about it) but they’re mostly just pictures of book covers he’d just finished reading with a detailed review or literary analysis as the caption—but he’s mindful of avoiding spoilers for those who haven’t read it

However, he does have one post that stands out quite a bit

He posted an unintentional gym third trap because he just happened to be working out, as is routine, and thought it might be nice to share some tips on proper rope pushdown form 

If you’re not a gym babe and don’t know what this is, I beg of you, please look up a gif or video and imagine Alhaitham doing this, shirtless. You’re welcome.

It has become his most popular post by far

His pfp is probably taken straight from his faculty ID card: plain background, bright lighting, neutral facial expression

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

After you two have become official and are pretty comfortably established in your relationship, he’ll post a photo of the two of you—probably one you took - with a simple caption like “Late night at Puspa Café with my favorite person 💚”

Everyone who knows him freaks out in the comments with variations of “omg hathie got an s/o???” and “wow he finally posted a normal pic of himself, y/n is a good influence” but he doesn’t reply to any of them lmao

If you use Instagram a lot, he’ll naturally become more active too because he enjoys learning more about what you like through your posts and stories

He likes all of your posts but never comments—if one of your posts interests him, he’d prefer to wait until he sees you later to ask you about it in person 

He just wants an excuse to talk to you more

As he becomes more active, little bits and pieces of your relationship naturally infiltrate his feed

His latest book review post has your favorite mug in the background because the two of you had breakfast together

His informational story post of an antique Sumerian emerald he found at a street vendor is being modeled by your pretty hands because you were with him when he saw it and later given to you after the vendor insisted on Alhaitham gifting it to his “beautiful spouse”

He changes his profile picture to the two of you from one of your many reading dates, comfortably lounging on a loveseat in a quiet corner of the library—and this time, he’s softly smiling

Tighnari // @ t1ghnar1

Surprisingly active on social media

He thinks social media is a great way to share information about the importance of forest conservation and get people to appreciate the beauty of Avidya forest

Makes one post almost every day and multiple stories

Needless to say, 90% of his posts are of plants or small animals he finds on his hikes or while working

His most popular posts are those of cute squirrels and birds that are being nursed back to health after being found wounded—animals just seem to naturally love him so the pictures are usually taken by his coworkers because his arms are full with cuddly animals that refuse to move

The other 10% of his posts are from the occasional hang outs with friends or coworkers after work—snaps of iced fruit teas from Puspa café or colorful clay plates overflowing with Collei’s homemade pita pockets. 

He makes sure to reply to or at least like every comment, particularly those from people asking questions about the plants he posts or how to become a forest ranger. Even simple “wow that's so cool” comments often get at least a “thanks, glad you liked it” from Tighnari

He tends to use some cute forest or food emoji when they fit with his posts. For example, 🍄,🥙,🦊,🐦, etc.

Also tends to use “:)” when replying to his followers because he knows it can be difficult to read tone in text-based communications

Tigh is basically a social media manager at this point oops

Because he is online so much, he naturally keeps up with almost everything his friends post and will like or comment on things he finds interesting

His pfp is a selfie of himself with a small yellow bird perched on his shoulder from one of his patrols

★ ★ in a relationship ★ ★

All Tighnaris written by me WILL follow the “fennec foxes mate for life” trope regardless of AU, it is an indisputable law of the universe

If you’re in a relationship with Tighnari, you should be prepared for stability and commitment in general

While he doesn’t go out of his way to make an official announcement post or anything like that, you become a regular feature on his page

Will tag you in anything you’re related to, unless you specifically ask him not to

t1ghnar1 [photo of a small, cream-colored fox brushing itself against Tighnari’s leg and looking up at the camera with large eyes]

t1ghnar1 On a walk with @ YN1229 this morning we spotted this cute little kit without her mom. 🦊 While adorable, foxes - even kits - are wild animals and should never be approached unless by professionals. We have informed the local animal control where she will be taken care of until we can locate her family. Photo by @ YN1229

He never outright announces you as his lover but he seems to spend so much time with you and refer to you so casually that his followers who don’t know him just assume you’re his spouse LOL

He doesn’t bother to correct them either :,)

bennie_boy Wow, that mountain is so high up - wasn’t ur spouse scared to go up there?

t1ghnar1 @ bennie_boy Y/n has been on so many trips like this with me that they’re pretty used to it. :)

Likes your posts as he see them on his feed and occasionally leaves a short comment like, “beautiful <3”

[internetscenarios]

ok hear me out nick x reader gym date going feral djvsigaohgepge 🙇🏼‍♀️🙇🏼‍♀️

YES this is so cute

also new bento pictures from nicks story (im hiding in the background you just cant see me) ♡︎

softwilly x reader ·˚ ༘

nick always had a thing for the gym, something you were fully aware of. you would occasionally go with him if you were in the mood or decided you wanted to exercise

your phone screen lit up, nick had texted you.

nick ✰:

“wanna go gym w me? :)”

the text read, without any questions you had responded in seconds. you had your own little place while knowing about him living with a group of guys, some of the guys you were quite close with, but you assumed he would be picking you up from his own house.

nick ✰ :

“i’ll pick you up in 5 minutes, bento won’t let me leave 😐”

you :

“okay! see u soon 😁😁”

you type back with a smile on your face, somehow he always had the ability to cheer you up, no matter what mood you were in.

within the span of a few minutes nick was at your door, knocking. you had a cute gym set on and ready to go. your hand twisted the door handle, letting him in.

“hey, you look good. is that a new outfit?”

“yeah, i bought it a little ago.”

a soft smile plasters across your face, doing a little twirl for him showing off the set.

soon enough you were both at the gym, it was a pretty quiet, not too many people but some pondering around different pieces of equipment.

“i’m gonna start on my arms.”

you nodded, going to a different section of the gym. you started on your legs, a little bit far away from nick.

you took a minute to relax after working out, crouching down and scrolling through your phone. what you didn’t know was the guy staring directly at you.

once nick noticed, he was immediately stood behind you to cover you. giving the guy a dirty look as he placed a hand on your upper back gently.

“we should go.”

he spoke, causing you to turn your head around and look up at him.

“are you done working out?”

nick nods, helping you get up and placing a hand on your lower back to guide you towards the exit.

the ride home was pretty quiet, but not awkward, more worn out quiet from being in the gym for an hour or so.

“did you sets go okay?”

nick asks, turning his head to glance at you for a second, before looking back.. his hand gently placed on your thigh as he paid attention to the road.

“yeah, they were good. my legs feel like there about too fall off though.”

he chuckles, rolling his eyes at your over exaggeration.

“we can go chill out at my house, i need to feed benny and clean the kitchen up a little.”

nick added, mentioning his cat, considering he had been left on his own for an hour he probably deserved some attention.

soon enough, you were at nick’s house scratching bento’s ear while he was cleaning up in the kitchen. nick always had a spare set of clothes of yours at his house or the group house, so you were able to change out of your gym gear and put some more comfortable clothes on.

ugh SORRY ITS SHORT i dont like it its cute tho!! ofc i had to add bento into matters

[mc-lukanette]

*crawls over completely exhausted* No Canon Lukanette... Need fluff... maybe salt too...

Luka gave Marinette's parents a smile as he waited for Marinette to come downstairs, though to say he was concerned was an understatement. He and Marinette hadn't been dating for long, but he knew something was wrong due to her song singing even more stress-filled notes than usual. He wanted to talk to her about it, but also wanted her to open up to him herself when she was ready.

Wanting to focus on smiling for her when she came down, Luka shook off the thought and stared up at Marinette's trap door. Seeing that she hadn't come down yet - understandable given that she had no idea he was there - he pulled out his phone and navigated to her contact. However, just before he could tap on it, there was an abrupt, loud, and unusual noise coming from Marinette's room, followed by the sound of Marinette yelping and presumably hitting the floor.

Luka gasped. “Marinette!”

Not even thinking, he hurried upstairs, phone clutched tightly in his hand as he pushed the trap door up and let himself in.

Over a dozen tiny kwami were speeding around her room, each with distinct voices and one of whom he recognized as Sass. He'd initially thought that the Liberty was chaos, and it was, but there was something different about fifteen little melodies all moving around simultaneously and wreaking havoc. They hadn't even seemed to notice that he was there.

There was also a ladybug-patterned ellipsoid lying on the table in the middle of it all, though Luka's eyes fixated mostly on Marinette lying there on the floor, now staring at him with wide eyes as he took in the whole situation.

"L-luka!" she greeted, voice forced. "W-what a surprise! I mean, you must be surprised at my toy collection! See, there's—there’s this magnetism thing going on that lets them seem like they're flying and—"

She was cut off as one of the kwami accidentally dropped something to the floor, making her flinch from the loud noise. Even the sound all around the room was overwhelming, the little beings ignoring Marinette’s panic in favor of playing with her things.

That's when the tears started, subtly at first until Marinette let out a whimper.

Ignoring all the revelations he just went through, Luka hurried to Marinette's side, helping her up and checking her for injuries. "Marinette, are you okay—"

"You know!" she cut in, running her fingers anxiously through her hair. "You're not supposed to know!"

He took a breath, recognizing that he was going to have to deal with these revelations now. "It's okay. I promise, I'd never—"

"No, it's not okay!" she argued, throwing her hands out. "I've been guardian for just a few days and this—this isn't—! I already—and now the kwami are out—!" She slumped and dropped her gaze to the floor, ashamed. "I'm a bad guardian. I'm a bad girlfriend. I couldn't protect you from knowing!"

"Marinette, you're not a bad girlfriend. You—" He paused, something occurring to him. "Protect me...?"

He hadn't been Viperion for long, but Luka remembered the importance given to secret identities. He understood that it was a form of protecting oneself and one's loved ones, meaning that a permanent hero like Ladybug needed to keep hers a secret the most.

"Is..." His stomach twisted in knots as he remembered all the dates she'd had to either miss or postpone. He bent down, trying to look at her face, and when he still couldn't, he gently cupped her face and encouraged her to make eye contact with him. "Is that why—"

"Yes! That's why I have to keep cutting our dates short, and not being there for you, and not going on patrols with Chat, and why I haven't had time to take those stupid Adrien pictures down! I can't do anything right!"

At some point, the volume of her voice had finally drawn the attention of the kwami, who all stared at her like children watching their parent having a breakdown and feeling awkward about it. Luka paid them no mind, his heart breaking as he processed all the information Marinette was telling him while all he could do was pull her into a hug and just hold her.

"I'm sorry I found out like this," he admitted, running his hand up and down along her back. "I'm glad that I know but I would've wanted you to share that secret with me instead."

"I-I'm sor—"

"Please don't apologize, Marinette," he gently begged. "I hate hearing songs with meanings I don't agree with. You don't have anything to feel sorry for. If I had the ladybug earrings instead, I would've had to do the same thing as you, and you wouldn't have asked me to apologize, would you?"

She looked up at him, expression pained and full of so many burdens that he couldn't believe he hadn't seen before. He brushed her fringe aside and rested his palm against her forehead, concerned about how pale she seemed and worried that she'd stress herself to a cold.

She leaned into his touch, then further until he was forced to move his hand away. She buried her face in his chest, surprising him as she hugged him tightly. Her song turned from the harsh wail of an electric guitar to the mellow tones of an acoustic, and he sighed in a mixture of relief and happiness.

"...Luka," she murmured, lightly clutching whatever fabric she could reach. "The movie. We'll miss it at this rate."

He hummed, half in response to what she said and half in content. "You're so much more important than the movie."

His heart skipped a beat when she actually giggled, her grip on him loosening and the hug turning to something she did because she wanted to, not for comfort. "More important than Jagged Stone?"

He chuckled, burying his face into her hair as he returned the hug. "Always. Even my idol can't compete with my muse."

She leaned further into him, her melody picking up hints off a bell chiming happily. She almost knocked him over from how much of her weight she was putting on him, but he didn't protest and even enjoyed it; it meant she was trusting him with her secrets instead of shouldering the weight herself.

"I know I couldn't have known," he began, "but I'm sorry that our dates took up your time. I never wanted to cause you any stress."

"But I wanted to!" she insisted, jolting up to look at him. "It's just—it's been a lot, and—"

He placed two fingers against her lips before she could start rambling. "Marinette, I don't need to go on normal dates to have fun with you."

She blinked, waiting for him to move his fingers before asking, "Y-you don't?"

He smiled. "Of course not. I can hang out here while you work, while you do important stuff."

With a small, amused snort, she pulled away from him and wiped any stray tears away. "You're 'important stuff.'"

He grinned like the love-struck fool that he was, then shrugged. "Well, I'll still be here anyway then, right?"

"That's true." She paused, glancing off to the side in consideration, then looked back at him as she asked, "in that case... would you help me with something?"

"Anything," he answered immediately.

She pointed, his gaze drawn to her wall full of Adrien pictures. "Like I said, I haven't had the time, and... I've been wanting to remodel forever."

He was more than happy to help, and there was a selfish part of him that considered it far better than any movie they could've seen.

—————

It took a bit more time than either of them anticipated to take down all of the images, but between the two of them, it wasn't a hard job. The biggest time-waster during the whole thing was Marinette's rambling, but Luka welcomed it wholeheartedly.

Due to not watching much TV, he honestly hadn't heard about what'd happened when Jagged Stone had been at the bakery and the camera crew had invaded Marinette's privacy, and he couldn't believe how much mental stress she must've gone through. After all, even though he and Juleka shared a room, there was still a divider for when they needed their privacy, so he wasn't unaware about how personal it was to have one's room recorded without their consent, even if nothing embarrassing got caught on camera.

It seemed cruel to know that Paris' supposedly lucky superhero was perhaps one of the unluckiest people he'd ever known.

Almost on cue, just when the last picture was down and Marinette was debating on what to do with them, her phone went off with a ringtone that sounded very much like danger. Looking over, there was a butterfly symbol flashing on the screen and Marinette's expression faltered at the sight of it.

"Akuma alert," she said flatly, with a pout that would've been cute had he not known what it meant. She hesitated, eyes flicking from him to her phone. "Um... look, I... I have to—"

"Go," he interrupted with a reassuring smile. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'll be here when you're done."

"But—" She frowned and glared at her phone, clearly knowing that she had to leave but not wanting to.

"I mean it, Marinette. It's okay."

She looked at him like she'd never heard those words from anyone else before, eyes vulnerable but fond. She gave him a nod, a brief smile flickering across her face before she turned away and rushed to the stairs. She shouted for her transformation on the way out and Luka watched as her clothes shifted into her ladybug-patterned bodysuit.

When she was completely gone, Luka felt a sudden unsteadiness and leaned against the table for support. It wasn't that he was shocked exactly to hear that Marinette was Ladybug, but he was still overloaded nonetheless.

As his hand rested on the table, he felt the heel of his palm brush something and looked down to see the pile of Adrien pictures next to him. It sent another rush through his body at the reminder that she'd asked him to help her take them down. He was dating her, sure, but he wasn't foolish enough to think that there were no lingering feelings for Adrien. He knew where she stood and he was okay letting her test the waters with him, as she did have feelings for him and who was he to complain if his crush wanted to date him? Besides, he couldn't help wanting to see if maybe it would truly make their bond stronger.

Looking at the wall now, clear of anything but the pink paint, he knew this was real and ended up wishing he'd brought his guitar.

Then, remembering the akuma alert on Marinette's phone, Luka pulled out his own and began to search, eventually finding what she already had: a direct link to watch streams and updates on whatever akuma or sentimonster shenanigans were going on. He knew well enough that he would only give himself anxiety from it, but he wanted to watch his girlfriend in action as a form of support.

Gosh, Ladybug was his girlfriend.

He took a deep breath to steady himself as he watched the footage, his eyes locked to the screen and only shifting when he felt various figures drawing close. He looked up to see that the kwami had all gathered around him, watching the screen closely.

"So..." the pig-looking kwami began, fiddling with their own paws like they knew they were being awkward. "Have you ever wanted to be a hero?"

There was a hiss off to the side, Sass cutting in with, "He already has me."

Luka wasn't feeling up to smile at that, debating with himself before sighing. "Marinette works really hard, and her song is full of sour notes right now," he said. Stepping away and heading for the chaise lounge, he sat down and added, "I hope you can figure out how to rewrite them."

The kwami all exchanged looks, some confused by the metaphor and others who perhaps understood but didn't know how to follow up on it. Luka didn't give them his attention, focusing on the akuma battle playing on his phone.

As he'd expected, it made him a little nervous actually seeing Ladybug in action due to now knowing it was his girlfriend fighting out there. He believed in her abilities and mentally cheered her on, but he just kept remembering all the akuma he'd known about and how stressful it had to have been.

Off to the side, some of the kwami joined forces to help pick up some of the items they'd previously dropped on the floor. It was only after Marinette's room looked as it did before that they properly joined Luka to watch the battle with him.

It was a start.

—————

The battle between Ladybug and the akuma (and Chat Noir was there he supposed) seemed to be getting into its final verse when Luka heard the sound of the trap door being grabbed and clicked open, making him jump. He was only able to whisper a, "Hide," so the kwami could act before Sabine peered inside the room and took a curious look around.

Apparently, they all thought that huddling against his back was a great hiding spot, and he could only smile sheepishly at Sabine while attempting to ignore the weird feeling.

"You're still here?" Sabine asked. "I thought you were going somewhere, and..." She raised a brow, looking around once more. "Where's Marinette?"

"Ah," Luka began, his mind rushing for an excuse, "we actually decided to have our date here instead. Marinette just went up to her balcony to grab something."

It didn't feel good to lie, though he also felt a sense of accomplishment in protecting Marinette's secret. Was this what Marinette dealt with all the time; having to lie to people even if she didn't want to?

Sabine glanced up briefly to where the balcony was, then back to him, slightly confused but rolling with it. "Alright. Do you two need anything?"

"No, ma'am. Thank you though," he replied, hoping it didn't sound forced.

Thankfully, Sabine nodded and left without asking any further questions, the kwami emerging and clinging to Luka while they peered at the now-closed trap door. Luka breathed a sigh of relief, then went back to watching the akuma battle on his phone.

The rest of the fight took a couple minutes, and all that was left to do afterward was wait for Ladybug to return. Once again, Luka wished he had his guitar, making a mental note to get all of his feelings out when he got home, as typical music apps just didn't do anything for him.

An expected "thump" eventually came from the balcony, and the kwami drifting away from Luka as Ladybug descended and landed on her bed. She saw Luka staring at her and initially flinched, but it was clearly a reflex from people seeing her as Ladybug where she shouldn't be, and she hurried down to meet with him afterward. Luka hopped to his feet, not hesitating to meet her halfway and envelop her in a hug, earning a squeak out of her.

"L-luka?"

"Sorry," he murmured. "Just... I got to think about everything you must've gone through without m—" He choked off, suddenly embarrassed, then corrected, "—someone to help you."

She blinked, then giggled and hugged him back. "You're my boyfriend. You're apologizing for hugging me and being worried about sounding selfish?" She nestled her face against his shoulder and he blushed at how warm she was. "Don't. I like it when you're a little selfish, Luka. It grounds me; makes me feel like you're not totally out of my league."

Luka scoffed, nuzzling his head against hers. "You're in a league all your own. I'm literally dating a superhero."

"Trust me, it's not as cool as it sounds."

"I disagree. I think you're really cool."

She blushed profusely. "H-hey..."

He chuckled. "By the way, your mom came to check up on us."

Ladybug gasped, then pulled back, eyes wide and concerned. She was clearly about to apologize, so he cut her off before she could.

"I told her that we were having our date here and that you were getting something from the balcony. Everything's alright."

Her shoulders eased. She let out a sigh of relief as her head fell back against his shoulder. "Thank you."

He hummed contently, resting his hand along her back and keeping it there. Then, realizing when Sabine came up earlier and might do it again, he reminded her, "You're still Ladybug."

"Huh? ...Oh!" she said, though with less panic than normal and unwilling to recoil from the happy spot she was in.

He heard the whisper of her de-transformation phrase and winced as the light engulfed her, slowly turning her back into Marinette. He felt the spandex under his hand turn into fabric and Marinette's breath against his skin as she exhaled.

A kwami that Luka deduced was Marinette's flew a small distance away, eyeing Luka warily and semi-critically. Luka didn't blame her - he wasn't supposed to know - but he also knew that it was far too late to change anything now, and there was no way he was going to abandon Marinette or pretend he knew nothing. He imagined that the kwami knew that too.

"...I'm Tikki," the kwami greeted finally. "It's nice to meet you officially, Luka."

Luka gave her a nod in return, then stiffened somewhat as Marinette squeezed him tighter, burying her face further against him like she truly cherished him.

"It's still a lot," she whispered. "Is it okay if you hug me a little longer?"

"Of course." Though, he paused for a moment before adding, "Would it be more comfortable for you if we move to your chaise?"

"Hm?" She pulled away just enough to look down and realize that they were still awkwardly standing at the bottom of the steps to her bed. "Oh! Yeah, I mean—I didn't even—"

"Hey." He tenderly cupped her cheek, offering a smile. "I didn't complain, did I?"

She looked briefly surprised, making him wonder just how much she'd had to apologize in the past. They slowly made their way over to the chaise lounge, Luka settling down and opening his arms for her so she could settle onto his lap and snuggle against him. He leaned back against the chaise, throwing his legs across the length of it, then wrapped an arm around Marinette to make her feel secure.

"This is nice. It's... um—" She peeked up at him, then grinned shyly. "—melodic? Is that what you'd call it?"

He couldn't stop himself from snorting.

Marinette blushed in embarrassment. "H-hey! I'm trying, okay?"

"I know." He took a strand of her hair in his hand and stroked it. "You always try, and I love that about you."

She let out a series of whines at that, but doesn't protest the compliment either. She nestled against his chest, keeping her face turned away enough to still talk to him without her voice being muffled.

"I just... want to know more about you, Luka," she told him. "You're so sweet and I felt awful having to ditch you. Didn't it bother you?"

He gave a one-armed shrug. "You were busy. I unders—"

"Luka."

He stopped, meeting her firm gaze and knowing that he wasn't getting out of this easily. He sighed, admitting, "...Yeah, it bothered me, but it wasn't because of you or that I didn't trust you. I... see—my dad..." He rubbed the back of his neck, realizing that he'd never told anyone this story before. "I never knew who he was. I asked my mom so many times, but she never gave me an answer. Whenever you had to leave and lie to me, I..."

"Oh." She raised herself up more to meet him closer to eye level. "I'm so sorry—wait—sorry, you told me not to apologize—Sorry! I did it agai—ACK!"

He laughed, feeling warm and delighted by how much she cared about him and wanted him to feel secure in their relationship. He squeezed her shoulder in reassurance, wanting to nuzzle her for how cute she was being and just barely able to hold himself back.

"Don't worry about it. I'm glad you were looking out for me, but you deserve someone to look out for you too."

She pouted a bit at the heartfelt comment, then smiled and raised her hand to settle on his along her shoulder.

He hummed, pausing purposefully for effect before asking, "...So, what does the great guardian Marinette want to do now?"

"Oh my gosh, Luka."

He grinned, happy to compliment her until she was completely red. "How about the brave and heroic Ladybug then?"

"Luka."

He reached up to caress her cheek with his thumb. "But, if you ask me, I like the kind, sincere civilian Marinette best."

"LUKA!"

—————

The rest of their "date" passed by smoothly, Marinette's parents having left them alone so as to not interrupt anything. Marinette had idly brought up the idea that the movie might still be playing - just at a different time than they planned on going - but Luka brushed off the idea and insisted that he was happy there and didn't need to go on a "real" date with her to have fun, opting to leave it up to her.

And... yeah, neither of them were willing to leave their current position and exchange it for having to sit in different seats at a theater with other people around. They opted to just stare at the ceiling and talk, the kwami having respectfully retreated to Marinette's bed to give them privacy.

Talks of their past meetings and when she left to become Ladybug soon turned into a game of finishing Jagged Stone lyrics. Luka, either by being the bigger fan or just having an easier time remembering them, ended up winning in the end, though he couldn't have expected Marinette to follow up by immediately leaving his lap. He'd held back a whine at the sudden lack of warmth and wondered if maybe she'd been teasing him with some sort of punishment by going away.

But then she'd returned with a tiny pink gift box, and inside was a guitar pick necklace signed by Jagged Stone himself.

"He came into the bakery the other day and I had him sign it for you," she explained. Taking it out to fully present it to him, she asked, "Do...do you like it?"

"I love it, Marinette," he replied immediately, reaching out to feel the guitar pick and properly appreciate it. "I can have this?"

She smiled in response, holding the necklace out in a gesture that made his heart skip a beat, realizing that she was offering to put it on him herself. He leaned close, feeling the light brush of her fingers against his neck as she slipped it onto him. He silently hoped that it was durable because he was absolutely never taking it off.

Marinette's hands lingered on the string even when the necklace was fully on, Luka meeting her gaze to see that she was looking at him with all the love he'd ever dreamed of her offering him. He didn't say a word and neither did she, but with a light tug on his necklace, he was pulled towards her into a kiss. It was definitely too deep for their first but also so nice that neither of them cared, and not even the Ladybug revelation could outmatch his surprise at being so readily smooched.

Luka reached for the hand grabbing his necklace, Marinette letting go of it so they could thread their fingers together. His song was going crazy as she leaned forward, clearly wanting more from him and him being wonderfully helpless to resist her. He breathed her in, his other hand finding its place on her side. Her own hand rose up so her fingers could settle against the back of his neck, and he couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed by the sound he made when she started playing with his hair.

She didn't even pull away when their kiss broke, merely pressing her forehead to his while they each caught their breath. Despite the boldness she'd just displayed, she somehow couldn't maintain eye contact and ended up looking elsewhere while all he could do was stare at her in a daze.

"S-sor—" She paused, remembering again that he told her not to apologize. "I-I mean, I'm... not sorry? I—ah—remembered you saying that music is simpler than words, so I just—I thought that maybe I shouldn't ask you with words and just... play it instead?" Luka could feel the heat radiating from her blush as she hurriedly added, "Um... is that okay?"

He answered her with another kiss.

[sailorhyunjinz]

Imagine skz realizing their s/o reads smuts about them .... sksksksksk

PLEASE I SO WANNA DO A HEADCANON ON THIS 

LEZ GO HEADCANON/REACTION (i swear i know the difference i just dont know what to call these LMAO)

Warnings; SMUT!!! mentions of rough sex, mentions of pegging, mentions of threesomes, mentions of degredation, sub/dom!skz x gn!reader

bangchan

“o-oh”

he just needed to check the weather on your phone or smth

but was instead greeted by hardcore smut with him choking and fucking the reader

I MEAN,,, HE KNEW 

BUT STILL VERY SHOCKED 

“why dont you read the cute like fluffy stuff? like going on dates by the beach or getting a dog together or something?” 

you try to act innocent like “read? i do read book with those themes if you didnt kn-”

“no i mean the things about me”

realisation just HIT 

“chan,,, how much did you read??”

“maybe like 3 or 4 pieces, all very rough??”

smile through the pain, you’re busted and theres nothing you can do about it lmao

minho

“here i am,,, thinking my partner was so excited over news articles but no,,, oh no they reading about wanting to dom me. never baby”

he says it in such a serious tone so you’re cracking up, half embarrassed, half amused.

but he doesnt even blink

“also why the fuck does changbin get to fuck but im stuck jerking off in a random ass corner?”

so defensive

justice for minho in fics

starts judging how its written

“the writer doesnt describe my handsome face?”

changbin

“Y/N!!! COME HERE!!”

you skip into the room, your buff boyfriend sitting infront of your computer scrolling through a smut post you hadn’t bothered clicking down

“this is pretty hot not even gonna lie”

you punch him playfully on the shoulder but it doesnt make him move an inch

“c-can you not?! thats invasion of private property!!”

“ ’ah fuck yes changbin, im yours’ doesnt sound like private property”

you slam the computer screen shut and walk out but he grabs your wrist

“do,,, do you wanna try?”

“try what?”

“you know,,, recreate those,,,”

hyunjin

“b-but im right here?”

so confused??

like why would you need to read about having sex with him

WHEN HE WAS THERE??

rolls his eyes and starts making fun of you 

“y/n wants to be called a whore!!”

but then discovers smth really kinky that you like

idk like being tied up or restrained or smth

eyebrow wiggle 

“hey y/n i just wanna test something” 

you’re cooking food and you nod

he takes both of your hands behind your back and CLICK

mf had handcuffs behind his back 

“WH- HYUNJIN WHERE DID YOU EVEN-?”

he leans in real close to your ear, pressing his chest against your back

“dumb baby didn’t know that i would have found out, hm? reading those dirty things behind my back every night”

jisung

“my dick is not small”

you’re like wtf,,, he just says it randomly while you were grabbing a snack from the kitchen

“in that story you’re reading, it says that i have a small dick”

FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU LEFT THE DAMN PHONE UNLOCKED

you cant even say anything, you just frozen, with a packet of crisps in your hands

“what more stories are there of me? are there any with me and a big dick?”

“JISUNG, SHUT UP”

felix

GIGGLY BOY

he vibes with it but kinda pouty because why didnt you tell him what you wanted to do in bed

baby starts worrying that maybe he’s not good enough :((

highkey loves the sub fics OOP

“y/n, i wanna try this”

he says, showing you a fic about him getting pegged/buttfucked

you’re all like static tv noises at first cause how the fuck did he even find out

but ya know,,,, it opened door ;))

seungmin

“do you want to fuck my bandmates?”

bruh you choke on your mf water

“w-wha? why would i-”

“especially jisung, theres just countless links of jisung smut in your history”

you’re impressed over how calm he is?? 

“s-smut? pffft,,, i dont read that,,,”

he pulls out his phone cause he took a picture of what you were reading and you just wanted to sink underground and stay there forever.

“I quote; ‘jisung grabbed his leaking cock an-”

“IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY I WAS JUST CURIOUS, SPARE MY EARS”

he just chuckles, looking up from his phone with his sharp eyes

“should be me instead...”

jeongin

“wait is that the new volume of that manga?”

he says all pouty before he jumps on top of you, you lying on your stomach on the bed, deep into the story until you scrolled down and boom

the smexy scenes started ;)))

you quickly scroll up again but he’s all like;

“wait scroll down,,, im pretty sure i saw my name”

he grabs the phone out of your hand and runs away

“WAIT PEOPLE WRITE THIS ABOUT ME?!”

flops down on the floor out of embarrassment 

and you flop down on top of him

just a pile of embarrassment

[elysianslove]

Hi! <3 I'm the roomate hc anon again (lol) and can I request best friends to lovers hc for iwaizumi, kuroo and oikawa? Also this blog is gonna blow up soon so remember me when you're famous bro 😌✊️❤️

OMG HI AGAIN! i’m so sorry this is late :( but oh my the excitement that flooded through me when i saw this request hsvhjsd. i really hope you enjoy this!! also vshdks i luv u bb THANK YOU.

iwaizumi hajime

im making these as detailed as fuck so i apologize in advance <3

becoming best friends with hajime was a very out of the blue thing 

the two of you shared a lot of classes together, and since you were always seeing each other, you’d choose each other as partners a lot 

you’d sit next to him in all the classes that you could

you’d meet up a lot during school breaks and just hang out 

you two clicked very well honestly, like you found that it was so easy to talk to him, and it was so easy to lose yourself in the conversation 

most of your convos are v mature and sophisticated too like

it’s nice when you can talk to someone on the same brain wavelength as you yk 😼

anyways overtime you’d come to his practice sessions, and even if they were long you’d just stay and watch bc why not

if you had hw to do and he noticed you were a lil stressed about it, he’d tell u to come study while he practiced as a change of scenery and all 

he’d walk you home almost every night at this point

oikawa noticing and being jealous <3 

“they’re stealing you from me!” “they’re not— what is wrong with you oikawa.” 

okay so this best friend stuff has been going on for a long time

long enough for you to realize you wanted more from him

but this is iwaizumi hajime and it’s almost impossible to know what he’s thinking 

like

ever 

so you just keep it to yourself, thinking it’s just a small crush and it’s not worth ruining what the two of you have at this rate 

so all this had happened first year, and when you’re nearing the end of your second year

that’s when you realize that

shit

it’s not just a crush

and when you have feelings for someone, every little thing they do expands a million times in your head

so a hug from him that you’d once never go over twice has you thinking about it as you go to sleep

the hoodies he’d lend you during practice while you stayed in the gym bc it was ungodly cold in there now send tingles down your spine at the lingering scent of him

the way he’d grab your hand to drag you somewhere now leave a heavy effect on your palm, forcing you to trace it once he’s gone 

his texts give you butterflies 

every time his name pops up on your phone screen you have a mini heart attack

and yeah

those are all symptoms of a crush

but is a crush meant to last this long? 

at the start of your third year, you greet him outside of the school gates after not seeing you all summer

he smiles so bright and hugs you so, so tightly 

you already are so hyperaware of how strong iwa is

but the feelings you have for him that won’t go away are so not helping your fixation on the feel of his biceps 

anyways before this becomes v nsfw 

you two catch up like u had met yesterday 

and then at the end of the day, after practice, which you stay for bc u missed ur vbc boys 🥺

he walks you home 

like always

and as he stands by your front door, in a burst of courage, he takes your hand in his and pulls you harshly towards him, pushing his body against yours and capturing your lips in a heated kiss

it’s so messy and harsh and you pretty much collided 

but holy shit

you were pretty sure fireworks erupted when you two kissed

years of pining and what had felt like unrequited love finally being resolved 

it’s the most satisfying feeling ever

you never want to stop kissing him

but alas </3 

when he pulls back, you’re both breathing so heavily 

you’re not sure if it’s the adrenaline or the kiss itself 

and he just looks at you and goes “did u tan while you’re away ur eyes look brighter” 

no sir i am in love with you

when you two officiate things 

he’s actually way shyer than he was as best friends??? 

like as best friends he wouldn’t feel slightly weird about hugging you in public or grabbing at your hand randomly or being seen alone with you

but now like

people know ??? and somehow that scares iwa 

or makes him uncomfortable 

idk he just feels iffy

but ur so understanding bless ur heart <3 

ur so careful with him and take it at his own pace 

zero pda at the start of the relationship 

like he won’t even wanna hug u in front of the seijoh team 

but slowly he warms up 

and he starts getting more comfortable with things like hand holding and occasional pecks on the cheek/lips 

your traditions as best friends don’t die as lovers 

if anything you believe in them even more 

now you watch more diligently during practice 

you proudly attend his games in his jersey, cheering the loudest for him (and for the rest of the boys bc they: best) 

walks home with you are so much more serene 

always gives you a kiss before he parts ways 

idk it’s like some sort of commemoration for your first kiss/confession 

unless you invite him inside 😏

this is so fucking long im so sorry i just love iwa 

anyways anybody want boyfriend!iwa headcanons i got a lot hehe 

to conclude, it was so gradual and inevitable with the two of you, and you’re forever glad it happened when it did and you hadn’t rushed anything <3333

oikawa tōru

unlike hajime, this wasn’t something that took one or two years

this bitch couldn’t admit he was in love with you for like 10 years okay 

you’ve known him for the majority of your life, because you’d always lived in close proximity to each other 

but you were never best friends yk? just acquaintances 

it was around the end of middle school when you two got close

cause you saw he was applying to aoba johsai for high school

and you were like !!! i’m going there too 

at first he was like stop copying me 😾 

you guys had a staring contest bc y’all are idiots and there were legit tears streaming down ur face but u were not about to lose to a pissbaby like him

he blinked 😁👍🏼

and he lost 

and then he decided “you’re my best friend now ” 

anyways aside iwa, he now had someone else he was going into high school with

like it’s a completely new environment but he had two people he very much liked going with him !!! 

when the time came around to like apply for/join clubs, you had been so clueless 

but toru stuck by you !! and he was so adamant on helping you !! 

he would sit with you after school as he practiced tossing with hajime and just brainstorm with you what you liked to do

it’s what brought you two closer together

cause you realized just how many things in common you had with him 

for a full week he tried to help you come up with something

for the sake of this hc let’s say u decide to join the newsletter club 

you’re very wary at first but then he’s like when ur part of it you’ll visit the vbc regularly so u can take pictures/observe to write essays 

the fact that toru would be there kinda set you at ease 

now you’ve never seen toru play properly 

he’s practiced in front of you before

plenty of times

but a proper match? or a practice one? 

never 

so it’s safe to say u were in awe when you got assigned to go watch a practice match against (idk pick a school) 

it’s embarrassing to admit but your eyes were on him the entire time 

thank god he became the captain later on else it’d be so sus 

you really tried to pay attention to anybody else lmfao 

it’s kinda what drew you to him more

you still didn’t really have feelings

you only realized just how passionate he is about everything 

at some point you had an essay to write for your newsletter about the volleyball club

but you were having a hard time like really getting into it

so you immediately just called toru and were like “help 😃” 

he came over and you asked him a bunch of questions, and he would go on deadass 20 min rants for each of them

you were just 

so amazed 

like how could someone have so much passion for something like this?

you realize how but that’s for later

overtime you two got closer bc of how much your work was associated with him

he’s incredible as a best friend 

he’s the first one with the school’s weekly newsletter as soon as it’s out

granted it’s to read the section about him but yk, the sentiment’s there 

also love, love, loves lazy days with you 

he doesnt even care if the boys know that he worships the chick flicks you two watch 

i feel like oikawa would be an avid anime watcher

idk why i just do 

so he’d be blasting anime theme songs on a speaker as you’re in the shower and he’s in your room waiting for you and you’re both just singing w the sound of water rushing down 

actually it’s not just anime songs it’s all songs 

a l l songs 

anyways

so you two get really close, and then he has a super important match coming up 

let’s say it’s the spring interhigh one against karasuno

the one they won

idk im just choosing at random 

and the night before he’s like begging you on text to wear his jersey

he’s like PLEASE NO ONE’S EVER DONE THAT FOR ME

you’re like bruh u have a cult following ????? 

but eventually u say yes

ur not really sure where it’s coming from but this is oikawa he’s an unpredictable as can be

when you show up in a jersey he so conveniently left at your house once

he’s so genuinely shocked even though he was the one that asked for this???

gives you the biggest hug like spins you around and just 

“you’re my lucky charm” 

when he wins 

after celebrating with his team

he runs over to you

and just

he kisses you

full on the mouth

it’s probably the rush and excitement of winning that gave him the courage to finally spill all his feelings out into this kiss

you’re in his jersey, in the stands and you genuinely feel like it’s only just the two of you

despite how sudden it was the kiss is so gentle, like he’d been planning it since forever 

“i told you you’re my lucky charm” he says as he rests his forehead against yours and kisses you gently again

oikawa had already been affectionate as your best friend

always displaying his love outwardly with like always calling out your name so loud whenever he sees you and giving you bone crushing hugs

deadass his 6’0 self will just jump on you 

but now it’s extra

makki always gags around the two of you but you just stick ur tongue out at him and go “ur just mad ur best friend’s getting some pussy/dick and ur not” 

makki then proceeds to shriek at you like a fucking banshee <3 

anyways 

yes 

oikawa best friends to lovers excellence is so cute eeeekkk

and now u always wear his jersey at games 

(u couldnt make it to the game against karasuno where they lost for whatever reason and he held it against u for the longest time)

(“maybe if a certain someone were there we wouldn’t have lost”)

what a big baby you love him

kuroo tetsurō

AH SEXY CHEMISTRY NERD 👅👅👅

kuroo as ur best friend 

im frothing 

i feel like you’d grow close after meeting at an event or something 

like you’re a friend of a friend of a friend 

i see kuroo as someone who’s so suave and cool and flirty with people he doesn’t have feelings for

but put the crush factor in and he’s a mess

like his brain just stops working

so when he first met you

he thought u were so fucking hot 

but that’s it

his lower body was doing all the thinking <3 

so he was so flirty 

and that’s essentially what your friendship is built off of 

and when friends are so flirty with each other, they generally grow close and trust each other really quickly 

ur not a nekoma student but ur in tokyo so you meet up often 

you just

it’s so nice to be around him

you find it so easy to just be yourself around him 

going out with him is super fun 

and a lot of the times you guys have study dates and you literally don’t talk except during the 10 min breaks you two take

it’s just hyper focus for the two of you which is great

he really channels the best student in you what a man ! 

i think during your third year of high school you two got insanely close

because you were highly unsure if you were gonna leave japan or stay 

so you wanted to make the most out of everything 

so you’d go out with him more often

he’d stay during the weekends and you two would like bake christmas goods all night even if it’s literally september lmfao

cuddling is so natural 

like you’re both so touchy with each other but not in a weird way just a super comfortable kind of way

like if you’re shorter than him, he’s always leaning his arm on you like you’re his arm rest 

it’s a win win bc he gets to touch you and tease you

wow the horny really jumped out in that one

anyways

you go to every single one of his games !!

cheer him on so!! fucking!! loud!!

you probably make a provocative sign and stand a chair and just wave it around and kuroo’s so heart eyes lmfao

the climb up to becoming lovers is so

natural? 

i think kuroo first realizes that maybe, yk, he wants those flirtatious comments to mean something and those random touches to hold more romantic value to them, when you two are out together

it’s a completely chill day and it’s not really warm not really chilly. you’re just comfortable 

he takes you to a park after buying the both of you ice cream from the stand across the street and sits down at a bench with you

just people watching 

and then it kinda goes really silent

but 

it’s not awkward??? like at all???

he’s not looking to fill the silence with any random words

he’s just

enjoying simply being with you

and he glances at you momentarily and it hits him like so hard just how pretty you are 

his eyes slightly widen like

holy fuck

what the f u ck

remember when i said he’s all cool until feelings come into play

yeah 😼

he literally freezes up and blurts out, without even meaning to, “i think i have feelings for you.” 

he really didnt even process he said that

you kinda

pause for a second

and then you realize what you said and you just smile and lean over towards him, lifting your thumb up to the corner of his lips and brushing away some ice cream

“you think?” you tease, and then at the spot where the ice cream was misplaced, you placed a gentle kiss

he kinda relaxes and then eyes you as he says, “i know.” 

it is just. heaven after that

i think the two of you would be less flirty around each other once becoming official 

like yeah he definitely comments once or twice every now and then and don’t get me wrong, so do you

but it’s just less frequent 

like a blanket has been lifted to uncover the true, hidden meanings behind the comments and you can now just breathe easier 

you two end up in the same uni on accident hevejsk

like you had a long ass talk about how it’s okay if you didn’t end up in the same uni you’d still make it work

and it would’ve worked tbh

fate just ships you two too much

when you told each other you were literally that spiderman meme of the two spidermen pointing at each other lmao

power couple of the uni

power couple of tokyo

power couple of japan

you’re literally so happy with him you wouldn’t trade him for the world 

and maybe you saw it coming 

but it still remains a shock whenever you wake up and he’s there laying next to you, smiling lazily at you before reaching over to give you a gentle kiss 

anyways happy early birthday king i love you kuroo hehe

end note; i really had a lotta fun w this one omg!! thank you again for requesting, anon, and i hope everybody else enjoyed!! feel free to request, mwah <3

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

too soon to tell, chapter t w o

You dropped your bag in the foyer of Harry’s house after work on a Thursday. It was quiet--he wasn’t home yet and you’d keyed in knowing that you’d have some time to yourself.

You felt a vibrating in your pocket when you shrugged off your coat, your visible reflection told you it was a FaceTime call, Alyssa’s name danced across the screen until you slid your thumb to answer.

“Hello, hello,” you greeted, walking to find a seat on the couch.

“Where are you?” She furrowed her brows as she took in your surroundings.

“At Harry’s--he’s out, though.”

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “I will never get sick of you lounging in his house when he’s not there.”

You rolled your eyes at your old roommate’s antics--she’d always been the number one supporter of your relationship and when you texted her earlier saying you needed advice, she promised to call on her lunch break.

“I’m not lounging,” you informed with a shake of your head. “I just got out of work, we’re having dinner tonight.”

“Mr. Popstar isn’t too busy?” She teased, aware of the tension both of your schedules had been causing.

“Apparently not.”

She forked a bite of food into her mouth, the sun was shining through the window behind her, the walls of your old apartment were redecorated now with the art of your replacement. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“Sort of,” you leaned back and let out a breath. “I mean, it’s all connected--”

“What is?”

“I’m getting to it,” you made a face at her through the phone. “So--don’t freak out, okay? Cause I don’t even know if anything will come from it and Harry doesn’t know yet.”

She nodded and gestured with her hand for you to get on with it.

Knowing Alyssa, she was already jumping to conclusions in her head. You were pregnant, you were engaged, you quit your job, you had a huge fight with your sister. No, no, no.

“I interviewed for a job in LA...and I haven’t told Harry because all our friends have been so excited about us being in the same spot again but--”

Her eyes went wide at the mention of a US city, she did her best to hold back her smile until it faded when you said: “I don’t know. Something feels off between us.”

“Off between you and Harry? More than just being busy?”

“I’m probably overthinking it but,” you looked around his living room. Pictures of his mum, his sister, his cousins--even his manager--were tucked in frames and placed on shelves. There wasn’t a trace of you in his house except for the toothbrush upstairs and the key on your keyring.

“It feels like we’re not moving forward. And we’ve both been busy, like I’ve told you, but since we don’t live together sometimes we go days without seeing each other and it’s fine, I get that he’s busy, obviously, but--”

“But you want to move in with him.”

“Well, I don’t know--I did, sort of, I think--but then I heard about this job in LA and it sounds amazing but Jessie just moved here and no one will shut up about how great London is.”

Alyssa offered a sympathetic frown and repositioned the bowl in front of her to get another bite. “What’s the job?”

You almost didn’t want to tell her, sure she’d get excited and eager to have you back in the same country. You winced a little, bracing for her reaction. “S’with E! News,” you shrugged. “It’d be on-air.”

“Shut up! Are you serious?!”

“Yes m’serious,” you rolled your eyes. “But I haven’t told any of them because you know how they are.”

She nodded, “Jessie will not want you to take it.”

“God love her, but of course not. And Harry spends time out there, so it might be okay, but it’s not like I could ask him to go with me.”

“Why not? He’s famous, Y/N--he belongs there.”

“It’s too soon,” you whined. “He’s not my fiancé and we don’t live together, so--I don’t want to make it weird.”

“But you love him,” she reasoned.

“Yeah, but s’been weird lately!" You tried to drive home the point. "He’s made no mention of moving in and we’ve been dating for a year and a half, I’ve been in London for over a year now. He’s not even mentioned it, Alyssa, I swear. He’ll say things like ‘one day we can go on vacation,’ and ‘what should we do for Christmas?’ But he’s made no concrete plans to actually have a future with me.”

“Maybe he doesn’t think you’re ready.”

“Maybe he’s not ready,” you volleyed.

“Maybe,” Alyssa shrugged. “But you won’t know if you don’t ask him.”

“But if I ask him and he’s not on the same page I’ll look like an idiot and he’s busy with the album and now I’m thinking about moving to LA and--”

She watched you, waited for you to say more, but you were out of words. You changed gears.

“Maybe we’re just not meant to be long term.”

“Oh come on,” she groaned. “Not this again.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Your whole ‘we should have left it in New York’ shit.”

You lifted your eyebrows to demand further details.

“You were freaked out in the beginning that you’d move back there and it would be weird.”

“And?”

“Was it weird?”

“Not at first, I guess. But I mean, come on---don’t you think we should have taken some kind of step forward by now? Even just mentioning the idea of moving in together?”

“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “Maybe it’s different with someone like him.”

You rolled your eyes--what if that’s what you were sick of?

People always said that: it’s different because of his job, it’s different because he’s on the road, it’s different because he’s famous.

Of course it was, and that was fine, for a while. But what if Harry’s job always got in the way of feeling normal? What if you couldn’t have a real wedding because of it? What if you could never send your children to summer camp because of it?

Were you willing to sacrifice your own future to live an unconventional life with someone just because you loved him?

“When will you hear back about the job?”

“Dunno--talked to them last week on Monday and they said this week at some point. S'been a while, so hopefully soon.”

You’d been keeping busy, trying to avoid your personal email at all costs and also making sure that Harry had limited visibility of your screen at all times.

“Do you want it?”

You thought on it for a second. Being offered a job at a company like E! would certainly be an ego boost, but the mere thought of having to explain to all of your friends that yes, you’d been back in London for 18 months and now you were packing up and moving even farther away than before wouldn’t be easy. That seemed to be the one certainty in the whole situation: no one would take it well.

“I don’t want to leave everyone here, especially Harry--but I also don’t want to be stupid and think that this relationship is going somewhere if it’s not.”

Alyssa nodded and let out a sigh. “I get that, I mean, of course you have to do what’s best for you. But I’d hate to see you not be with him just because things are hard right now.”

You leaned your head back on the couch and sighed. You didn’t want to break up with Harry. If anything, you wanted to move forward and move in with him and do what you’d always imagined: have a good job, have a few kids, try to be happy.

But what if you’d been naive enough to think you could have all of that with Harry and what if this is how you were finding out that you couldn’t?

Were you still stuck in your teenage fantasy of marrying the boy you'd long been crushing on?

She watched you for a second before she reassured: “you’ll figure it out.”

You smiled, glad you’d called Alyssa if only to have someone talk you off the edge a little bit. You missed waking up one room over and her love for basketball games and New York 99 cent pizza.

“Well it’s not like I have to make a decision right now,” you said. “I haven’t even heard back from them. For all I know they could never reach out again because I bombed my interview.”

She rolled her eyes at your self-deprecation and offered a few final words of encouragement before you hung up and promised to catch up soon.

Ever since you’d left, Alyssa had taken it upon herself to keep you up to date on the ins and outs of New York. New restaurant? She’d send you pictures and a 200 word review. Crazy subway rats making the news again? Articles and video proof would be sent your way in a matter of hours.

She’d gotten a new roommate to fill your bedroom and apparently things weren’t always peachy between them. Peyton was quiet and shy--according to Alyssa. She was up every morning at 6am and in the shower at 6:30. She did yoga in the living room and hated it when Alyssa left empty beer bottles on the coffee table.

Alyssa was starting to lose her shit, swearing up and down that she needed to either pull the trigger and move in with Owen or find a new place altogether. It was my apartment first, she’d say. She should leave, not me.

It had been hard that year to leave the city you’d grown to love but harder to leave Alyssa and Carly and the things that made New York feel like home. It was also, in hindsight, hard to leave the place where you and Harry reconnected and built the foundation of your current relationship.

You heard commotion from the front door only a few minutes later when you rummaged through Harry’s kitchen for a snack.

“Hi,” he called from the other room, a close-lipped smile when you stuck your head around the corner to greet him.

“Hi! How was the photoshoot?”

“Good,” he nodded, watching as you stuck your hand into a box of crackers. “What time are we meeting everyone?”

Right--Thursday also meant dinner somewhere downtown with everyone in tow.

“7pm--but Jessie said we should try to get there early since it’s a new place and no one’s ever been.”

He nodded in acknowledgement of your words but seemed distracted, like his mind was somewhere else and his body was the only thing tying him to the room.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking back up at you. “Just a busy day and a busy week.”

You nodded, unsure if he wanted to say more or if you were supposed to have more of a reply than a simple nod of your head.

You’d both been stammering out awkward sentences and trying to dance around the elephant in the room for a few weeks, but now, under his gaze, you felt more uncertain than before.

“Are you okay?” He turned the question around and watched you closely.

“Yeah,” you shrugged, moving to sit on the couch.

“You seem--off.”

You didn’t know what it was. Could he possibly sense the tension in your shoulders as you waited for an email either way? You got the job! We regret to inform you…

Or was he just aware that you felt awkward since it had been almost two weeks since you had any considerable amount of alone time and even longer since you were able to have a date night that wasn’t interrupted by Jeff or Erica or someone who needed something from him.

He took a few steps closer towards you, a look of concern etched on his features. “What’s wrong?”

The words were on the tip of your tongue when he looked at you, eyebrows lifted as he waited for you to spit it out.

“I guess I feel like we’ve been distant.”

He pushed his head forward, almost like he hadn’t expected that to be the issue. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, caught off guard by his pushiness. Maybe you shouldn’t have brought it up.

“You don’t know?” He pressed.

You broke eye contact with him for a minute, wondering why you had to state the obvious. “Well, you’re busy all the time, Harry.”

He let his shoulders rise and fall in defeat, looking around the room in frustration. “I told you that finishing the album would be busy.”

“Yeah, but you forgot to mention that you’d also be busy when the album is done once promo starts and then tour,” your voice was quiet, not so much angry as you were upset.

You were tired. You wanted nothing more than to spend a night on the couch with him and only him, tell him about LA and about the sudden itch you felt to see more of the world than just London.

But with Jake and Adam always around and Bryn and Jessie, too, paired with interruptions from Jeff and Erica--it felt as if there was no hope for a private or honest conversation.

He came to sit closer to you on the couch now, took your hands in his. “I know my job is a lot, okay? I know it’s annoying that I don’t necessarily get weekends off or have a typical schedule, but once the album is out and the promo is done I’ll have a bit of a break before the tour. We can go on vacation somewhere, just us.”

It sounded nice, maybe a tropical island or a cabin in the woods. But before you could nod in agreement the thought of Los Angeles popped into your head.

His album was due out in December, promo from now through the New Year, some time off in February and March for both of your birthdays and then tour. You had no clue where you’d be by then.

Would you be in LA? Would you be in London? Would you be stuck in this same spot on his couch with decision paralysis and a crushing sense of uncertainty about the future?

He knew you were over-thinking and tilted his head. “What?”

You blew out a slow breath of air, twisted a ring on your finger and then looked up at him again.

You didn’t even have a chance to be more honest, a buzz on your phone on the coffee table in front of you both broke the room in half, the name of the woman you’d spoken to was in bold next to your email icon. You reached for it quickly, Harry’s brows furrowed when you pulled it close to your chest so he wouldn’t see.

“What’s that?”

Hi Y/N, thank you so much for your patience over the last few days. We would love to offer you a position with NBC Universal - E! News as an on-air correspondent in our Los Angeles headquarters.

You looked up at him quickly, cheeks red and heart racing.

“What’s happening, are you okay?”

“I got a job offer,” you said quickly, still holding the phone close to you.

“What?” He smiled, “why didn’t you tell me you were looking? I didn’t even know--”

“It’s in Los Angeles.”

His smile faded instantly, he blinked a few times like he must have misheard you. The leather of his couch felt cool beneath your legs, a clock on the wall ticked and for a second, you wondered if he could hear your pulse as loudly as you could.

He pulled his eyes away from you but then quickly scanned over your face. “Are you taking it?”

“I don’t know,” you said honestly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Silence, words filled your brain and crawled up the back of your throat, desperate to be said out loud, in real life, instead of just circling in your head.

Because I don’t know what we’re doing or if we’re moving forward. I don’t know where I want to live. I don’t know if I can stay in London forever. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Only the last part made it out between your lips. “I don’t know.”

“Y/N,” he stood up, more angry now as he looked around the room and scratched at the base of his neck. “This kind of feels like a bombshell to drop on someone.”

“I was going to tell you--but we haven’t had a second alone, I just didn’t want to have to tell everyone before I knew what was happening.”

“You didn’t even tell me you interviewed,” he said.

“The last time I saw you alone we got interrupted by Erica three times in one conversation.”

“Probably for a good reason--”

“But you seriously can’t even put your phone down lately when we have dinner, even when everyone else is there!”

“I can’t help it that my work is insanely busy right now!”

“I don’t want to fight with you,” you said this quickly, voice higher than usual and a heat on your skin that he normally didn’t provoke, at least not in a bad way. You stood from the couch and put your hands on your hips. “I don’t know what I’m going to do and I don’t even know if this job is right for me and under no circumstances are you allowed to tell anyone. Especially Jessie.”

He rolled his eyes at that.

“What’s the eye roll for?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Everyone just got back and now you might leave and--”

“I said I don’t know if I’m going to take it.”

He was quiet at that, clucked his tongue in thought but then disappeared upstairs to shower and change.

The car ride over was awkward, he asked how your day had been and you told him you talked to Alyssa, he bristled when you admitted you told her about it.

It wouldn’t be the end of the conversation, you were sure of that. You’d likely end up at his for the night and he’d apologize for being busy, you’d apologize for not telling him and maybe, you hoped, he’d ask you to stay over.

When you greeted Adam with a hug, you ignored Harry’s sour mood and opened the menu in front of you.

“My first dinner as a Londoner,” Jessie smiled, shimming her shoulders in excitement when Bryn looked over the specials across the table from you.

“This is on you, right? New job, new salary?” Jake teased.

“Maybe if I hadn’t just bought a whole new bedroom set,” she rolled her eyes.

“How’s everything with you?” Adam eyed Harry, his question veiled to avoid too many details in public.

Luckily, Harry’s ability to go out in public in London was similar to that in New York. As long as a private room or a table in the back was requested, he could typically get away unscathed if dinner was less than 2 hours and if he had his back to the dining room.

“Fine,” he shrugged, eyes still down at the drink menu.

“Fine?” Jessie leaned forward, her tone insinuating that she didn’t believe him. “You’ve been working really hard all summer and now all you say is ‘fine?’”

He glanced up at her, lips in a forced smile. “S’all good, Jess--just tired.”

Bryn gave you a look, one that asked what stick is up his ass?, before she changed the topic.

“Let’s not tell our server how fit she is tonight, yeah?”

Jake let out a snort of a laugh and sipped at the water that had already been brought to your table. “Alright, you thought the one last week was just as hot as I did.”

“I did,” Bryn agreed seriously, “but I didn’t offer my number unsolicited. How do you know she’s even straight?”

“She’s got a point,” Jessie chimed in. “Remember when you asked that girl to dance in the club when her girlfriend was right there with her arm around her?”

“I thought they were just mates!” Jake defended.

“You also have the worst radar for gay women ever,” Bryn nodded.

“When was this?” Harry asked, the hint of a smile on his face when he watched Jake adjust his napkin on his lap.

The words came out of your mouth without thought. “You weren’t here--you were in LA.”

He met your eyes when you replied, nodded, and then leaned back in his chair, effectively bowing out of the conversation without saying another word.

You weren’t trying to be short with him. You looked over to Jessie, who undoubtedly sensed the tension, and offered a smile. “How’s the flat?”

“Good,” she nodded. “Glad that all my furniture got put together without any scratches,” she reached over and patted Adam on the shoulder.

“We’re not children, Jessie, we can handle some furniture.”

“You broke my dresser when I asked you guys to move it into another room,” Bryn reminded, a look of confusion on her face at Adam’s retort.

“Only because it was already half broken and a piece of shit,” Jake said. “I love you, Brynnie, but that dresser was already knocking on Heaven’s door.”

Harry let out a laugh at that, another memory that he had missed while on a trip to a studio somewhere north of London. He excused himself to the bathroom after you placed your orders, and once he was out of earshot, Jake leaned down and looked at you.

“What’s going on with him?”

You forced a cheesy grin and blinked a few times. “He’s just grumpy.”

“‘Bout what?” Bryn asked.

“Guys,” you leaned back in your chair, hoping you didn’t have to say too much. “I can’t tell you every single thing that happens in our relationship.”

“Well, when it affects us I think we have the right to know,” Jessie shrugged, playing the typical we don’t like when our parents fight card.

“It’s not affecting you,” you shook your head, eyed her seriously over your glass of Pinot Noir.

Adam shrugged, a smirk on his face let you know he was trying to rile you up. “He’s grumpy at dinner and we’re all here and we’re all aware of it. We don’t like tension between you two.”

“Alright, leave the woman alone,” Jake waved them off. “As long as everything’s alright.”

“It’s totally alright,” you nodded, wondering when you’d gotten so comfortable lying to them. “He’s just busy with the next phase of work.”

With Harry’s album yet to be announced, you couldn’t sit around in a London restaurant and divulge details--even if you were all acutely aware of the work he’d put in and the upcoming announcements and events.

Adam let it go. “How’s work for you, Smalls?”

Another shrug of your shoulders, “s’good--I told you all about my November cover story, right?”

“Yeah,” Jessie sipped a glass of Cabernet. “But you said you didn’t know who it was going to be with.”

“Well, s’cause I had to drop the bomb on him first,” you nodded in the direction of the bathroom. “I’ll be sitting down in a few days with Ms. Gigi Hadid,” you lowered your voice and leaned forward to say her name.

Bryn’s eyes went wide, Jake grimaced.

“How’d he take that?” Adam asked.

“He’s not thrilled,” you admitted. “But I’ll talk with his team about what to avoid specifically, I guess. Her team will probably have a list of off-limits items too.”

Bryn let her elbows rest on the white tablecloth. “Yeah, but, you can’t just ignore the fact that she’s dating Zayn.”

“I also can’t just barge in and stir shit up,” you said.

Harry pulled his chair out next to you and sat back down. “Who are you stirring shit up with?”

Everyone chose to be quiet now--Adam looked down at his phone and Jessie reached for her wine again.

“Just telling them about my cover story,” you admitted, watching his face for a reaction.

He nodded, a tiny smirk in your direction. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stir shit up,” he said, reaching to put a hand on your thigh beneath the table.

Those were the moments that made you feel less panicky--the realization that he was still choosing you and even when the tension was high and the mood was low, he’d reach over and remind you that yes, he cared. Even if he was late to dinner or distracted.

Which is why, when you got back in his car that night and headed for his house, you were surprised when his mood shifted again.

“I’ll just drop you at yours?”

“Oh--yeah, sure.”

“Did you want to come to mine?” He looked over at you like he hadn’t expected any resistance to sleeping separately.

You were quiet for a second--not if he didn’t want you there. “No, it’s fine.”

“I can’t read your mind, Y/N.”

“You don’t have to,” you said quickly, a prickly tone to your words when he made an unreadable face.

He drove in silence for a few minutes, closing in on your neighborhood when the street lamps disappeared for the sake of suburbia.

Eventually he cleared his throat and that sent you over the edge.

“What do you want me to say, Harry? Do you want me to apologize for interviewing for this job?”

“No,” he said simply. “I just don’t know why you thought you didn’t need to tell me about a huge decision like that.”

“It wasn’t a decision until today when they offered it to me.”

“Just seems like something you talk to your boyfriend about.”

You looked over at him in the dark of night, the glow from the dashboard didn’t help you see his features as he turned left onto your street.

“Well, sorry that we didn’t have the opportunity to talk about it between your work schedule and Jessie moving in and group dates--”

He slowed down on your street, put his flashers on when he stopped in front of your building. “I don’t want to keep secrets from each other,” his voice was softer now. “I don’t want to not know what’s going on in your life. I did enough of that for two years when we weren't talking.”

You sighed at this, the sentiment broke whatever anger was lurking inside you and when you looked up to see him, you wondered if you should ask him.

Are we ever going to move in together? Are we ever going to get engaged?

You figured the lead up to his sophomore album wasn’t the best time for that conversation. He pressed a kiss to your forehead and you climbed the stairs to your flat alone.

**

A few days later you sat nervously in a conference room and watched as beads of sweat formed on the water glass in front of you. Tyler had brought you in, offered you a breath mint, and promised you’d be fine. When you asked him if the whole room was hot he said it was just you and your nerves--but the droplets of water that raced towards the wooden conference table begged to differ.

You’d gotten email after email this morning: one from Jeff with the rules he and Harry had come up with and eight from Gigi’s team with requests for snacks, topics to discuss, topics to avoid, lunch request, arrival and departure time, and a few extra regarding booking her photoshoot the next day.

A text lit up your screen when you tried to smooth your your hair in the reflection of your screen.

Jake Newcomb (10:42am): In case you’re wondering what to get me for my birthday, a video of Gigi Hadid saying she loves me would be perfect!

You ignored his text and felt a pang of disappointment in your gut, you thought it would have been Harry with words of encouragement.

He was fine with you doing the interview, he seemed to come around to the idea when he met with Jeff and had a chance to mark some things as off limits.

So far, his list was as follows:

Don’t publish anything too negative about anyone in the band (if she says anything negative about anyone in the band)

Harry and Jeff got to listen to the taped interview

Harry and Jeff got to read the article before you sent it off to your editor and could make suggestions to cut things if they felt it necessary.

It seemed silly, but you’d long been used to the lingo of contracts and riders and ground rules for things like these. You knew both Harry and Jeff trusted you, in fact, Jeff was now choosing to see this as a good opportunity for press before the announcement of Harry’s album.

Your biggest concern, truly, was not looking/sounding/acting like an idiot in a room alone with Gigi Hadid. Your second biggest concern was conducting a unique interview and writing a unique article.

You knew that Naomi and Tyler were nearby for support if needed, Tyler had already walked by the conference room three times to see if your subject had arrived and likely to make sure you hadn’t sweat through your blouse. You thought the commotion in the hallway was him until you saw a group of busy-looking people with cellphones and sunglasses.

“Hi,” you stood from your chair, extended a hand in her direction and offered your best professional smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Gigi, thanks for doing this interview.”

She seemed hesitant at first, smiled a little and shook your hand. “Happy to,” she said. She turned over her shoulder and locked eyes with the woman who seemed to be the most in-charge of the group. “I’m good,” she nodded.

They hustled out quickly, you stood frozen in place and watched as she took off her coat before sitting in the chair you’d pulled out for her. Once the door was shut behind her posse, she let out a sigh that bled into a frustrated laugh.

“I could never do an interview with all of them just loitering around--wouldn’t that be so weird?”

You nodded, mirrored her smile and had to remind your body how to move. Left foot, right, breathe, sit in the chair.

You weren’t really one to get star struck, but then again, you didn’t spend too much time with celebrities that weren’t Harry or his close friends. You certainly never sat down with a model like Gigi to have a conversation that could be as awkward as this one.

She checked her phone quickly but then put it face down on the table. “I am happy to do this, I know it might feel weird for us to be hanging out--but boys are stupid anyway.”

You smiled at this, immediately relaxed when she leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs.

“Did you also get a whole list of things to not talk to me about?”

She stifled a laugh and rolled her eyes. “Zayn can be a man of few words but,” she looked down at your phone on the table. “Off the record--he had quite a bit to say when I told him you were doing the interview.”

“Off the record,” you laughed, “Harry did too. But how is Zayn?”

“He’s good--thinking about getting back in the studio at some point to start working on a new album, he’s been writing a bunch. Harry’s doing the same I assume?”

“Yes, yeah, he’s been really busy.”

“I know things might not have gone great between all of them at the end, but I don’t want this to be awkward for us.”

“Me neither. You can say as much or as little about the band as you’d like.”

She nodded, you figured it was time to give your pre-interview spiel.

“So, I’ll record us in a few seconds, you can obviously say ‘off the record’ if there’s something you don’t want me to include, but I like my interviews to be like conversations, basically. I’ll send someone on your team the recording when we’re done and a typed transcript. You’ll have 48-hours to look over it and revoke any statements that you don’t want me publishing or to clarify anything. After that I’ll write the story, send a final copy to your team before it gets finalized here, again, 48-hours to look it over and request any changes but at that time we don’t have to approve the requests. This is all in a document somewhere that someone probably signed for you--I’m sure your team is used to it, they know what they’re doing.”

You reached forward and pressed a few buttons on your phone, she watched until you looked up and told her: “It’s on now, so we’re recording and today is September 10th, 2019.”

She smiled like you were old friends. “Where do we start?”

“Is there somewhere you want to start?”

She leaned her head to the side. “We can jump right to it--”

“To what?”

“Oh come on,” she laughed. “Us talking about One Direction will make headlines for weeks.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “It’s funny that us just sitting down together will be a big deal, right? As if we’ve got nothing better to talk about than them.”

“Sexism at it’s finest,” she admitted.

“Do you find that a lot in your industry?”

She thought on this for a second, looked out the window but nodded. “It’s unavoidable, in a lot of ways. I think there have been a lot of changes over the last few years to at least move us in the right direction, but we’ve got a long way to go.”

“How would you want to see it change for the better?”

“Well, I’d love to have more privacy about my love life, for one,” she caught herself, looked to you quickly as if she felt bad. “Off the record, we can talk about it here, it’s fine. It’s different to talk about it with a woman, number one. And you’re you, you get it.”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you offered.

“No, I don’t mind. Unless you plan on asking me stupid things like how amazing is it to be dating someone as handsome as him or do I find that his job overshadows mine, we’re good. We can be back on the record, too,” she looked down at the numbers on your phone, eyeing the ticking of the recording clock.

“But do you know what I mean? No one asks guys questions like that--or they’re different, at least. People just want to know everything about your relationship when you’re a woman and they view you in the context of who you’re sleeping with.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I get that.”

She smiled, “it’s hard to date someone famous, isn’t it? Lots of rules around it.”

You were surprised by the genuine look in her eyes, despite her own status and contracts and income, she seemed to be acknowledging that the two of you shared a unique experience and were now brought together under strange circumstances.

“It’s definitely hard for me--but, isn’t it easier seeing as you also have an assistant and a manager and people to, I don’t know, facilitate things? Not to invalidate how hard it still is.”

She laughed at that, “Yeah, in some ways, probably. He’s really private though, which is good for us. We focus on ourselves and do our own thing most of the time.”

“Right--you seem pretty private about it for the most part.”

“Yeah,” she shrugged, reflecting on your words for a second. “I think to me it feels weird that my relationship status can make so much news, you know? Modeling is my job and obviously that’s not your typical nine-to-five but--I like to focus on my work and when male journalists are continuously obsessed with my love life, I find that weird. I mean, you get that, right? I’m sure it’s no different with Harry.”

You bit your lip, embarrassed at how she’d managed to turn it around. She was right--you’d been getting more and more annoyed with how much your relationship with Harry was dictating your life--and for some reason, you admitted this to her.

“People are much more interested in me because I’m dating him--but they’d be just as interested in you even if you weren’t.”

“Would they?” She tilted her head to the side, another rise and fall of her shoulders as she looked around the room. “I get what you’re saying, but sometimes it feels like dating him gave my career a huge boost. I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, I totally get it. I feel the same way. I was building my career in New York and it was going well and I was writing fun stuff and making a name for myself and then I started hanging out with him and--”

“Everyone started to care more about you?”

“Exactly.”

You thought about the headlines, the articles, the pictures in tabloids that undoubtedly helped your name spread like wildfire through London and New York. You had to ignore it, most of the time, reassure yourself that you were a good journalist and a good employee and the good things in your career were not just a byproduct of the boy who slept in your bed.

She smiled knowingly, her lips in a thin line when she looked down to the tape recorder, almost like she felt guilty for steering the conversation in a different direction.

“Sorry,” you cleared your throat, sitting up straight. “Back to business.”

The conversation bled into more normal things: the upcoming fall fashion week, how she manages self-care when she’s busy jetting from city to city, and, try as you might, the two of you wound your way back to your commonalities a few times: sexism in your industries, life as young women dating famous men.

You thanked her profusely at the end and promised that Tyler would be in touch to confirm the date and time for her corresponding photoshoot later that week. She draped a Versace leather tote over her shoulder and seemed to float out of the office with a posse of beautiful people behind her.

You stood--still awestruck--in the hallway and watched as the elevator doors slid shut.

“She’s prettier in person,” Tyler said from beside you, a notebook in hand as he stared at the air she’d once occupied. “I didn’t know if that type of thing was possible but she’s definitely one of the prettiest humans I’ve ever seen.”

“She was nice,” you turned around to see Naomi behind him, also eager for more details. You headed back for your office in a trance, they scurried behind you as you thought aloud. “I mean, I didn’t think she’d be rude--but I didn’t know what to expect with the whole band history stuff.”

“Did you talk about that?”

“Less about the band and more about--” you blinked a few times and sat down at your desk, “sexism, what it’s like to be a woman dating a famous man and how that affects your career.”

Both of their eyes went wide, a smile tugged at Naomi’s lips when Tyler put a hand over his heart in shock.

“I’m sorry, so you’re telling me that you just had a heart to heart with Gigi Hadid about sexism and your boyfriends and--”

“I guess so,” you shrugged, just as surprised as they were.

**

You gave Harry fewer details that night over FaceTime as you brushed your teeth. He was somewhere in New York, disappointed that he’d miss Jake’s birthday dinner and celebration, but he promised to make it up to him when he got back.

He lifted a cup of tea to take a sip, light shone through the window behind him on your screen and he scrolled through emails on his laptop.

You spit into the sink, an ocean between you.

“Have you thought at all about the offer? You have to tell them by tomorrow, yeah?”

You nodded, wiped at your mouth with a towel and then crossed your arms. “I can stay, I mean--if you want me to.”

He made a face at that, leaned forward and furrowed his brows together. “Of course I want you to stay, Y/N, but I don’t want to be the reason you pass on something important."

You were quiet for a second, uncapped lotion before spreading some across your forehead.

"I'm sorry I didn't react well when you told me. I'm proud of you and it sounds like a phenomenal opportunity...I don't know, it's just the timing of it--"

You cut him off, “well none of this is ideal timing, Harry.”

“Do you mean with my album?”

“I mean with any of it,” you said truthfully. “The album, the job offer--”

“Well the album existed before the job offer,” he trailed off.

Only a matter of seconds and a handful of words had managed to get you elevated and angry and ready to fight. That was happening more easily, these days.

“So what am I supposed to do? Always come second? Make every decision in my life based off of your career and your music?”

“S’not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that--I dunno--I thought you knew what you were getting into.”

Quiet, your hands gripped the counter in your bathroom. Your bare feet were on the floor and you wondered why you were trying so hard to make everything work if things were only getting harder.

“That came out wrong,” he shook his head, the look on his face let you know he wanted to take it back.

“No, it didn’t." You let out a sharp laugh. "I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Take the job,” he said quickly, like he saw you reaching for the button to end the FaceTime call.

“What?”

“Take it. If it’ll make you happy, take it.”

“And what about us?”

“We figure it out,” he shrugged. “We try.”

You sighed, unsure what to say.

"It's Los Angeles," he said. "Not Antarctica."

You blew air between your lips, looked up at him for a second. The curl of hair that dipped onto his forehead, the way his mouth pulled up in the corner like it always had.

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

His words didn’t offer any relief and you spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, tossing and turning and wondering how on earth you were supposed to make a decision.

Leaving him in London felt stupid. A few bumps in the road and you were ready to jump ship?

But staying and hoping for a ring or a shared address felt even stupider, somehow. You couldn’t pass up a dream job and hope that things would go well for your career if you weren’t going to work for it.

A few hours of rest came after 3am, your morning coffee was a tad bitter and the clouds in the sky seemed to match your mood. Maybe you should have spent more time thinking it over, talking it out, even calling your mum or Katie for advice.

But you couldn’t have told everyone about the job offer without a certain answer, and unfortunately, the person you wanted to talk to the most didn’t seem like he could be impartial.

You’d been upset, you’d been feeling disconnected from him, but that didn’t erase all of the good times and the happy memories you’d made, right?

Naomi and Tyler locked themselves in your office for lunch on Friday, they promised that they’d never tell your boss and they swore they supported you either way. Tyler used an expo marker to make a pros and cons list of staying in London and Naomi came up with a points system for each bullet on the list.

You stared at it, looked at the names of all of your friends, your family, your favorite cafes and restaurants in London. At the very bottom of what had become a long list of reasons to stay was his name.

And on the other side, Tyler’s poor drawing of an engagement ring sat beside a big question mark.

You didn’t know what the future held for you and Harry, and maybe that was okay. You didn’t know what would happen when you packed your life into a suitcase and moved to New York, but you’d survived to tell the tale.

They were quiet, eyes darting from the board back to you as they waited for you to say something.

You sighed, Tyler shifted on the couch in your office and Naomi smoothed out her blouse.

“I can’t take it,” you said.

Tyler’s eyes went wide, “really? You’re staying?”

“I can’t leave,” you shrugged. “I can’t leave him behind and leave my friends and start all over in a new city right as I’m really finding my groove here again.”

“Okay, I know we said we’d support you either way but I would have been fucking pissed if you went,” Tyler admitted, moving closer to wrap his arms around you.

You laughed, let him squeeze you before Naomi joined in.

“Me too,” she confessed, a smile on her face when she pulled away. “But I would have at least faked happy for you.”

You bit back the doubt and second-guessing, used their excitement to fuel a regretful email.

Thank you so much for the opportunity, but after careful consideration I cannot accept this position due to the geographical location.

Your thumb hovered over the small blue arrow, a wave of panic flooded through you when you hit send, like somehow, something inside of you knew that everything was about to change.

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AN: apologies in advance for the cliffhanger......except I'm not sorry lmao

[harveywritings92]

You get drunk and lost.

You go out with some friends drinking, get plastered and somehow you've broke away from your group. after walking around the city you have moment of clarity you text you boyfriend, "Halph! me loss...!!" before he can respond you accidently put it on silent, and he freaks and nearly tears the streets upside down looking for you, only to get a call at the ass crack of dawn by random person saying they've found you...

Warnings : alcohol use, Smoking, theft and mature situations.

------------------

Dabi: He thought it was joke at first, sure his girl likes to let loose from time to time, But she never irresponsible about it! So, when he got that text he thought you were screwing with him, He texted you [Aww what'd ya lose Doll?] you didn't text him back... He thought she just put her phone away, as time passed by soon Dabi got worried, he checked his phone; the time you'd said you be home had long passed.

He called you and kept getting the busy signal. "Tch" without missing a beat he got his hoodie, face-cover and sunglasses on and went out to the bar that you said you'd be at just in time to see your friends drunkenly stagger out of the bar giggling like a bunch of hens. "Hey." He called out to them one them... Ayaka? If that's what her name was? Dabi wasn't really paying attention when you showed him her picture.

he was to busy fantasizing you in that tight little dress bent over couch while he rails you from behind…

Anyway, back to the present. 

Aya was dazed but seemed to recognize him. "ohz! Y/n's s-shy man! how ya doing bro?" the cremator stayed close to the alley shushed the drunk woman gesturing for her to come closer. "I'm fine, where's Y/n? She still inside?" he said in low voice nodded towards the bar, Aya gave him this blank look and Dabi didn't like how loud this silence was.... "Y/n? s-she said- said she was gonna go for a walk..." Dabi eyes narrowed resisting the urge to turn this drunk putz into a pile of ashes. "Aya focus, where did Y/n say she was going?" He said slowly trying to get the drunk woman to remember, this seemed to help as her eyes widened in realization, but that hope was soon dashed as she chortled out. "Your mamma's butt! hehe..." and broke down laughing. 

Dabi growled annoyed before shoving her back over to the group drunk girls waiting for their taxi, for the rest of the night Dabi spent his time looking through every alley, back road and crappy neighborhood, he could think of, But there was no sign of you anywhere! at around 5 am He sat on bench dejected and took his phone out; looked through his contact before stopping at 'Chicken-wings' he glared at the named with a lot of confliction, But before he could press call...

His nickname for You suddenly lights up his screen Dabi answered without hesitation. "Y/n?... where the hell are you?" He hissed feeling both relieved and pissed off at the same time, however the voice that answered him wasn't girlfriend but that of a man. "Who the hell is this... where's Y/n? if you touched her I'll-" Dabi snarled flames bursting from his chin, but the person on the other end told him to calm down and explained, he lived a few blocks away from where Dabi was. 

The cremator wasted no time getting there, he knocked on the door and was greeted by an old man who looked like a breeze would knock him over, The old man confirmed Dabi was the on he called, then apologized for scaring the young man, explained he found you passed out on his patio and didn't want leave you alone outside. "I have no bloody clue how these new-fangled phones work, had to wake my 8 year old grandson to help me." he explained as he led an awkward Dabi to his living room.

"I should be one who's sorry, for the trouble my girls caused you." the raven haired man sighed seeing his girlfriend passed out on the old man's couch, The old man just waved him off. "It's fine boy, we were all young once!" Dabi thanked him again carefully collected his girlfriend and carried her back to one of his safe houses that was nearby, Needless to say aside from nursing a gnarly hangover, You also had to deal with an very Angry, horny and tired Dabi who wasn't you out his sight anytime soon.

---------------------------------------------------

Hawks: [you lost? lost what? darts?] You don't answer him. [Angel wings? you there???] he didn't wait and see if you'd reply as Endeavor was giving him this look that screamed 'put that phone away, or else I'll launch it so far up you ass you're kids will born screaming your ringtone!' the avian man smiled coyly and put his phone away and waited for the meeting to be over, the meeting and late night patrol finally wrapped up at 3:30 am and Hawks walked outside recalling the conversation he had with you and checked his phone, Keigo felt his heart sink you hadn't answered him, He flew over to the bar while at the same time calling you phone, but all he got was voicemail...

When he got there he saw all your girl friends had gone home and only one of your guy friends was there, Akito if the blond remembered correctly. "Yo Akito-san." He called as he lowered down the ground, the drunk man looked around startled be for noticing Hawks above. "Sky-guy my dude! how ya doing?" he slurred at the number two hero, who stared at him crossed armed as he observed the inebriated man, very unimpressed.

"Nothing much, was Y/n okay?"  

"w-who wha?"

"Y/n, Akito did she get home alright?"

"Oh she went to the subway."

Hawks brows scrunched up in confusion, it was passed midnight the trains weren't running right now! So, where the fuck was his girlfriend?! "Akito, I want you to listen where did Y/n go?" Again the drunk said the Subway, making it very clear he wasn't gonna be any help, Hawks flew up into the sky and sent some of his feathers out to search for his missing girlfriend and focused to see if that one he snuck in to her purse was near by.... "Come Y/n, where are ya baby?" he muttered as he eyes scanned the from above, when he felt a tug from one his feathers and almost on cue his phone light up with your ringtone.

"Y/n? where are you? are you safe?!" He asked frantically and waited but the voice coming from other end wasn't his girlfriend's but older woman's voice. "Is this Kei-Chan?" the winged hero eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Who are you?" the woman voice cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, I'm Anko, I found this girl in front of the shop is her your friend?" Hawks confirmed this expecting this stranger to be a villain holding you hostage and told her to stay where she was. 

Instead when he got to his girlfriend's location; A Subway sandwich shop. *Ah...The subway, Hardee har-har...* He mentally deadpanned before looking down at the front and saw his girlfriend passed out on a bench with a tattered old blanket draped over her, while a little old lady in worn out clothes was standing next to a shopping cart. It didn't take a genius to see the old woman was homeless this seemed to strike a cord with the number 2 hero. 

Hawk silently landed "Excuse me." he called caused the old woman he assumed was Anko to jump by the sudden voice and saw Hawks walking towards. "Yes?" the woman answered warily. Hawks introduced himself as Kei-chan the man she spoke to, he asked how she stumbled on to his girlfriend? Anko adjusted her her old jacket said she saw her going into the with a group of girls, they left in a taxi without her! 

The winged hero looked furious upon hearing this, you had mentioned your friends were a little peeved that the two of you were dating... But to abandon you in a seedy part of town while intoxicated? that was over the line, had Anko not found you first then.... Hawk's jaw tightened not wanting to think about it as the old woman tale continued. You stubbled out a few moments, and passed out on the bench out front.

"I think those girl stole her jacket and shoes, I didn't want the poor dear getting cold, so I put my blanket on her and called you." She handed Keigo your purse a used his feathers to hold it while he gathered you in his arms he thanked Anko for guarding you. He promised to return the her kindness but the old woman said it was fine, but Hawks was already coming up with a few idea as he flew back to his apartment.

The next morning you were alone and confused how you got to Keigo's apartment wondered in your friend had called him, and went check your phone to check your messages, and were very bewildered over why your "Friends" were all apologizing, begging Hawks to call off his fanclub! You were flabbergasted about the situation, until Akito left you a screenshot of their original plan; they were going to make you and Akito drunkenly hook up and ruin your relationship with Keigo! 

Of course they didn't know that Akito was in fact gay, so when they figured that out they just left you alone in front of sub-shop at 3am with no way of getting back home, you were pissed off that's for sure! and blocked them save for Akito as he had nothing to do with their plan.

Then you checked the newsfeeds and saw Hawks was trending curious you checked to see why, and saw Keigo delivering a box containing a new jacket, shoes, blankets and food to a stunned homeless woman with a note saying to "my girlfriend's hero! forever grateful Hawks!" Okay... Now Keigo really needs to tell you what happened last night!

----------------------------------------------------

Fatgum: [Aw it's all right Teddy Graham, ya can't win them all!] Fatgum chuckled assuming you lost at darts or pool while having fun with your friends, however as the night wore on and patrol came to an end, Taishiro was getting concerned, You hadn't texted him back nor had you called him to tell him she got home alright, just that "Halph...me loss!" text! The BMI hero was loosing his appetite with worry as he wandered down the street looking for the bar you were supposed be at, only to find out from your very drunk friends who was shuffling into in a taxi van.

He stopped one of them asking where you were, did you home with one of the girls? but to his dread they said you went for walk somewhere, Taishiro tried to coax them into remembering where you said were you going? But at this point your friend was too far gone to answer coherently, and with that the blond man took off down the street, hoping to find a trace of his lil'Teddy Graham! 

He searched for hours even showing civilians a photo of you asking if they've seen ya? the answers were always no... it was almost 3 am he was considering calling the cops to help look for ya... as he leaned against a wall to take break, when he heard your ringtone on his phone, Taishiro's hand was shaking as he answered the phone as this nasally voice greeted him

"H-hello, Sir? assuming you're a sir! uh... we found this lady passed out in one of our aisles, could you come and get her, before my manager calls the cops?"

"Wh-where is she?"

"The 7/11 at (random block)."

"Yeah, I'll be right there!"

The chubby hero ran down the street so fast he hadn't noticed his fat was burning off so when he finally arrived at the 7/11 his clothes were baggy and hanging of his body. "Hey, I'm Taishiro, you called me about my girlfriend?" The now skinny hero wheezed catching his breath as the snotty manager turned around to mouth off at Taishiro only to blanch when they realized how much taller and muscular the blond was compared to him and his demeanor quickly changed.

"Y-yes, sir right this way" the balding man stammered leading the 8ft tall man to the back room where a female staff member was watching you, Taishiro let out a sigh of relief and picked you up like a toddler; with your arms around his neck and your head rested on his shoulder, as he was leaving his yellow eyes noticed a backpack stuffed with snacks and other stuff hidden under the manager's desk, he hummed not thinking anything of it and went to thank clerk for watching you as the manager had gone out for a smoke break, Since he was there anyway Taishiro asked for a couple meatbuns for the road.

"Thanks, for lookin after m'girl."  

"It was no problem sir.'

"By the way I saw a backpack, back there, wha's that about?"

(the clerk went white, made sure her manager was still outside, assuming that she'd be too afraid to tell the tall man about his scheme.)

"That lazy bully of a manager has been stealing snacks and other crap from the store, He was going to try and say your girlfriend did it, and scare you into paying him not to call the cops."

Taishiro's hold tightened on your thigh. "I'm guessing he chickened out, because... Well you look like you could crack his head open like an egg!" the blond snorted as he payed for his food "And you'd be right about that!" Taishiro huffed, he then thanked the clerk for her honesty and shot the manager a venomous glare as passed him outside, later that night Taishiro reported what clerk had told him to store's head office, and vowed to return as Fatgum just to make sure the balding thief was gone! 

The next morning you were very confused as to how you’d gotten to your boyfriend’s apartment? you sat up only to get pulled back down an exhausted Taishiro who muttered for you to go back to sleep, he'll tell you everything later. 

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 135

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,665ish

Summary: Y/N wants a small wedding. Tony and her find out the gender of their baby. Steve and Y/N go for lunch. (Read note and the end of the chapter.)

“I want our wedding to be small,” Y/N stated randomly a few days after the proposal. She was currently sitting in Tony’s new workshop, watching him set things up. 

“Okay, honey,” Tony responded, not really hearing everything. 

“Like, really small.”

“Whatever you want, you know that.”

“Like only me, you, and whoever’s marrying us.”

Tony looked at Y/N. “What if I already told both Rhodey and Happy they could be my best men? And invited Pepper?”

“Really, Tony? I just… I think it would be easier, for me, if it was just us.”

Tony dropped what he was doing and turned so that he was giving Y/N his full attention. “May I ask why?”

“I just… this wedding… I… it’s stupid. Never mind.”

“No, no, no, no, no.” Tony rolled his chair so that the was right in front of Y/N, and took hold o her heads. “You tell me and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

Y/N inhaled and exhaled shakily as Tony rubbed his thumbs over her hands. “I… I have no one to walk me down the aisle.”

“Oh, honey.” He reached up with one hand and cupped her cheek. She leaned into it. “I didn’t think about that.”

“I know that Steve’s still alive, but… I’m not ready for that yet. He didn’t trust me… and he—“ Y/N’s voice broke as she got emotional, “—he hasn’t for a long time. He’s also never liked the idea of me and you. So why would Steve even be willing to walk me down the aisle? And if he won’t, who will?”

Tony pulled Y/N onto her lap with a sigh. “If it makes you feel better, none of my family would be there either.”

Y/N buried her head in her hands. “Oh my gosh, I’m being so selfish. At least I have a family member still alive.”

“You are not being selfish, you’re being realistic.” He pressed a kiss to her head before gently guiding her hands away form her face. “How about… well, you know I really don’t like your brother right now either, but why don’t you try and ask him to walk you down the aisle? I think it would be good for the two of you, healing in a way. Maybe even tell him about the baby.”

“I’m not telling anyone until the second trimester.”

“Then wait until then. Meet him somewhere for lunch—“

“If there’s still a place open.”

“—and tell him.”

“I’m just… scared.”

“I know, honey. But I’m worried this will do you and the baby more harm than good.”

“Okay… in a few weeks, I’ll reach out.”

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her softly.

“I don’t want to be fat in our wedding pictures,” Y/N blurted out, pulling away from the kiss. 

Tony chuckled. “Then we’ll get married after the baby is born. We’ll wait until the baby is old enough and we can get Happy and Pepper to take care of it.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Maybe cause you’re so good to me.”

~~~

Week 10 started with the “pregnancy glow” and Tony constantly commenting on how big Y/N’s breasts were getting. 

Week 11, her growing baby bump was causing aches and cramping. At one point, Tony found Y/N curled up on the floor, crying. He felt terrible that she was going through this. Tony carefully lifted her up, tucking her into bed, and spent the day cuddling her. 

Week 12, the nausea was basically gone, making the couple happy. 

Week 13 was full of dizziness. Y/N was struggling to stand up or stay standing by herself. This caused Tony to order her to bed rest, over-dramatically.

Week 14 came and it was the start of the second trimester. The doctor came over to check on both mother and baby, as well as reveal the gender. Y/N was hesitant to know the gender, wanting it to be a surprise. But Tony was an impatient child who was going to end up getting his way, legally or otherwise.

“Okay,” the doctor hummed, beginning the ultrasound. “We have ten toes, a strong heart beat, ten fingers.” Tony held onto Y/N’s hand tighter as he watched the screen intently. “Are you sure you’re ready to know the gender.”

“Yes!” / “No.”

“Come on, honey,” Tony begged. “I just want to know so we can start decorating and picking out names. Please?”

Unfortunately, Tony’s big brown eyes were hard to say no to. Y/N was going to be totally screwed if their child ended up with his eyes, but at least Tony would then get a taste of his own medicine.

“Fine,” she conceded.

“Yay!” Tony celebrated, giving her a kiss. “Now, doc, what is it?”

“Congratulations, it’s a girl,” the doctor told them with a smile.

“Yes!” Tony cheered. “I knew it!”

“You knew it?” Y/N questioned.

“I told you, I had a dream about it. So real. And we named her Morgan.”

“So I’m guessing any other names are off the table because you had a dream about it?”

“Like I said, it was so real.”

“I’ll have to think about it. While I do, can you go grab me a water, I’m dying of thirst.”

“Of course.” Tony kissed her templed before rushing off.

“Doc,” Y/N turned her attention to the doctor, “is it… this is so awkward but, is it okay to have sex? Even while being pregnant?”

“It’s completely safe,” the doctor chuckled slightly. “I’m guessing your sex drive as gotten a boost this week?”

“You have no idea. Literally anything Tony does makes me want horny. I was just scared—“

“Every new parent is. But you’re fine. The baby is well protected and higher up than you think.”

“So it won’t, like mess anything up?”

“Nope, you’re completely fine. I say enjoy it while it lasts, because it won’t last very long.”

“Thank you so much.”

~~~

That night, Tony was getting ready for bed while Y/N laid down, watching him. 

“Tony?” She called.

“Yes, dear?” He responded, looking her way.

“The doctor said it was okay to have sex.”

Tony choked a little. “Wh-what? You asked them that?”

“Well, lately, my sex drive has started to kick up and everything you do makes me horny.”

“Everything I do, huh?” He wiggled his brows. 

“So, please, help me?”

He came over and placed a seductive kiss on her lips. “I will always help you,” he whispered.

~~~

Week 15 came with extra clumsiness and a dreaded phone call. Tony was out getting groceries as Y/N at there, staring at her phone. She needed to call Steve and tell him everything. Things either needed to start getting better or they needed to fall apart once and for all. After taking a deep breath, Y/N finally pressed call and held the ringing phone to her ear. She felt like it had rung for hours before she finally heard Steve’s voice.

“Y/N?” He wondered, clearly confused. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine, Steve. I was just calling to see if you would like to meet up for lunch soon?” Y/N said, trying to remain calm. “We need to talk.”

She heard him sigh. “Yeah, I suppose we do. I’m free tomorrow. I know a place in the city that’s open. I’ll text you the address. Say we meet up around 1?”

“That sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“Right. Okay. See you then.”

Y/N hung up and leaned back agains the couch, closing her eyes. She could do this, she had to do this.

~~~

Steve was nervous. So nervous, that he had arrived at the restaurant about an hour and a half before he was to meet Y/N. They had always had their differences, but he knew that the past couple of years had really driven a rift between the two. With him being the main reason for that. He was stuck in his own head when Y/N finally sat across from him.

“Steve,” she greeted, not giving anything away.

“Y/N,” he responded, with a small smile. “How have you been?”

“I’ve be fine. You?”

“Same.”

Before the conversation could actually go anywhere, the server came up and they ordered. Steve was a bit surprised at how much Y/N had ordered. 

“You hungry?” He tried to joke after the server left.

“Well it’s really hard not to be when you’re eating for two,” Y/N responded.

“W-wh-what? Eating for… t-two?”

“I’m pregnant, Steve.”

“Wha—how? I-I-I mean, who’s is it?”

“Really, Steve? Guess.”

“Well from what I was told you were seeing both Bucky and Stark. So I really—“

“It’s Tony’s. I… while I was dating both of them, I had rules. Like no sex.”

“And so Bucky dies and you break that rule?”

“Really, Steve? You know what?” She shook her head, pushing herself to stand up. “I don’t know why I let Tony talk me into doing this. I don’t need you there at the wedding. I can—“

“Hold up, Y/N, sit down. I’m sorry. I was just… I haven’t been good with my emotions for a very long time. Can you just sit back down, so we can talk about this?”

“Fine,” Y/N huffed.

“Before I get into anything more, I just want to make sure that I heard you correct. Did you say something about a wedding?”

“Tony and I are getting married.”

“That’s… that’s… good. You both deserve some happiness.”

“Thanks. We’re going to get married after the baby arrives.”

“Smart.”

“And I was… I was hoping that you might walk me down the aisle. And before you say anything, I realize that you, and Tony and I don’t have the best relationship, but I have no family. Only you.”

“I… I’d be honored too. But are you sure Tony wants me there? That you want me there?”

“You’re my twin and my only living relative, of course I want you there. But only if you want to be there. And, Tony just wants me to be happy. That’s all he’s ever wanted.”

“I’d love to walk you down the aisle. On one condition.”

“What is it?”

“You tell me the baby’s gender.”

“It’s a girl.” Y/N smiled, rubbing her belly. “Her name is Morgan.”

“Morgan. I like it. Are you planning to give her a middle name?”

“Currently that’s up for debate. I like Sarah or Maria, but Tony’s insisting on Howard.”

“Howard?”

“Yeah, I know. He’ll probably end up getting his way. Just can’t let him know that yet.”

Y/N and Steve sat at the table, talking and laughing, for a few hours. It was nice, good, different. Especially after all that had happened. Steve walked Y/N to her car.

“Can we do this more often?” Steve asked, a little nervous. “I’ve missed this, missed us.”

“I’d like that,” Y/N responded. She hugged Steve. “I love you, Steve.”

“Love you too.”

~~~

“Hey,” Tony greeted as Y/N entered his workshop. “How was lunch?”

“It was good,” she responded, leaning in for a kiss. “Of course, not everything is fixed and we still have a long way to go before we ever get back to where we once were.”

“You’re welcome,” Tony smirked, giving her another kiss. “Do you want to see what I’ve done for Morgan’s room today?”

“I think you’re nesting more than I am.”

“Probably right. I just want everything to be perfect and ready for our little girl.”

“And, knowing you, nothing with be. There’s always going to be something that needs fixing or updating.”

“How lucky am I to have a woman that knows me so well?”

“Extremely.”

~~~

Week 16, Y/N began experiencing her skin darkening around her nipples, inner thigh, armpits, and navel. She grew concerned but luckily Tony had already read all about it and told her that there was nothing to worry about. This week she also began to wedding plan. Nothing big, just looking at dresses and flowers and cakes. Steve and her had also began texting back and forth, as had her and Nat.

Week 17 was full of backaches and pregnancy brain. Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the pregnancy brain, though was immediately there to help soothe the backaches.

It was now the beginning was week 18, and Y/N felt like her boobs were huge. Tony enjoyed it, which led to them having sex a few times. They had just finished showering. Tony was getting dressed after helping Y/N do so, as Y/N laid in bed. Her hand was on her stomach when she suddenly she felt this uncomfortable pressure. She groaned.

“You okay, honey?” Tony asked, slightly concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Y/N responded. “I’m sure it’s—ugh.”

Tony was quickly by her side. “What is it?”

“There’s these pressure.” She rubbed her stomach. “It’s coming and going and—ah!”

“Maybe I should call the doctor.”

“No, no, I think I’ll—ah!”

“Yep, calling the doctor. Unless…”

“Unless what, Tony?”

“Hang on.” 

Tony pushed Y/N’s shirt up, revealing her growing bump, and rested his hands on it. The pressure happened again. Y/N winced.

“There is it again,” she said through clenched teeth. Tony couldn’t help but break out into giddy laughter. “What are you laughing at?”

“She’s kicking,” Tony responded with a large grin. “Morgan’s kicking.”

“What?” There is was again.

“Hey there, Morguna, I can feel you,” Tony leaned in and spoke to the baby. “Be kinder on your momma, will ya?”

“She’s kicking,” Y/N repeated softly. “She’s kicking.”

“Yeah she is. And I can already tell she’s a fighter, just like her parents.”

~~~

Week 19 was full of heartburn and constipation. Steve and Y/N also met up for lunch, slowly making amends.

Week 20, Morgan was restless. Kicking up a storm. Y/N was getting little sleep. It wasn’t helping that she also had leg cramps and swelling int he hands and feet.  The only time Morgan would calm down was when Tony was talking to her. But Y/N couldn’t wake Tony all the time, that just wasn’t fair. So Tony, ever the clever Tony, recorded himself telling stories and singing songs to play so that they could get sleep. Still wasn’t helping Y/N all that much, but it was at least calming Morgan down.

Week 21 was almost just as restless as the previous and added shortness of breath. Tony was extremely worried about that. Luckily the doctor was already planning on coming by. The doctor said that it was normal and that Y/N just needed to take it real easy. The doctor also told them that Morgan was looking very healthy, which put the parents at ease.

“She’s going to look just like you,” Y/N told Tony one night as he was rubbing her belly and talking to Morgan. “I know it.”

“You don’t want her looking like me,” Tony chuckled with a shake of his head. “Besides, she’s going to be beautiful, just like her mother.” Tony got quiet and solemn looking. “Do you think I’ll be like my father?”

Y/N knew this question was going to come up eventually. She was just hoping it would be later. “I knew knew Howard as a father. I just knew him as a good man. And I’ve always felt bad about how he treated you, that you didn’t know the man I did. But, Tony,” she cupped his face and made eye contact with him, “you are not your father. And you have learned from him. You will be the greatest father for our child.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I would have never let this continue on if I didn’t.”

“I’m so lucky to have you by my side.”

“I know."

next chapter >

I leave for Disney World in a week. It is the last big family vacation that I will be on for a while.Because of that, I will not be on tumblr March 19th through March 24th. I will actually be deleting the app so that it’s not a distraction.

Most likely, nothing will be posted during that time. If something is, it will have been queued up. Things that are posted while I’m out of town will not have tag lists attached. I will put this note in all the fic posts until then. 

So do not come at me for spending time with my family instead of including the tag list. (I say that knowing that people won’t care and still come at me.... be respectful and get over yourself.)

And in case you didn’t read the note at the end of the last chapter, I will be doing two endings (Tony’s Ending and Bucky’s Ending).

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[thran-duils]

Use All of Me (P.13)

Title: Use All Of Me (Part Thirteen) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark Mob!Steve Rogers. The Avengers are heroes saving the world but in this AU, they are also permitted by the powers in charge to have less than favorable business underneath their guise of mere superheroes. Steve and Tony are at the helm, keeping their empire’s wealth in check, both devious and perilous if crossed. Steve takes a liking to the reader at a party and it may be her undoing to her autonomy choosing to go home with him. Words: 3,575 Warnings: Dark AF, angst, emotional/mental abuse, smut, breeding, death

Part Twelve || Part Fourteen || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

A branch snapped out in the woods and you turned quickly towards the noise. It was dark outside still, the sun just starting to rise. You had been unable to sleep since 3:30am and instead of tossing and turning that could wake Yua up, you had come out onto the upper balcony with a book and a blanket.

The only sound you heard now was your heart pounding in your ears, worried that you were going to see a shadow step out from behind the trees in the shape of Steve’s broad shoulders.

But the woods were quiet, no looming figures. Slowly, you relaxed, the tension leaving your muscles. You could not see anything, so you nestled back down, opening the book again. After a few minutes, the sound was forgotten, and you were immersed in your book.

When you finally came back inside, Yua was up by then. You walked quietly by Natalie’s still sleeping form and made your way down the stairs carefully. Yua was already at the sink making herself some coffee. She eyed you as you walked into the kitchen.

“God, look how big you are,” Yua said groggily, eyeing your stomach.

“Good morning to you too. And yes, I can feel it,” you jested. “26 weeks.”

She laughed, “I mean honestly. Since this all started out… it’s like you swallowed a volleyball. It just hits me sometimes, still catches me off guard.”

“Soon to be a basketball, I’m sure.”

“Or bigger.”

“Probably bigger,” you admitted, grabbing a glass to get yourself some water.

“Well, you’re not that size yet. So, where is my breakfast? Cause you look like you’ve been up for a while. Why isn’t it ready?” Yua joked.

Yawning, you said, “Well, ma’am, I was actually going to go back to bed after I got something to drink. I’ve been up since 3:30. I couldn’t sleep. And now it’s catching all up to me. But if you would like, I could make you eggs.”

She waved you off, “I was just kidding. Go back to sleep. It’s still early enough! Do you want me to put a plate of food in the fridge for you for whenever you do wake up?”

“That would be nice,” you said before taking a large gulp of the water. You placed the half empty water glass back on the counter and said, “I’ll have that later too. Don’t want to drink too much at one time. The babies have declared a competition on who can kick my bladder the hardest.”

<><><>

Back in New York, Clint looked way too proud of himself as he strode into the room, but it caught Steve’s attention because that could mean only one thing. And that thing was going to bode well for him.

He was halfway out of his seat as Clint approached, a wide grin tearing at the sides of his mouth.

“I think I got it,” he said, throwing the few pictures he had printed out upstairs on the desk in front of Steve. Steve sat back down, pulling the photos towards him eagerly. “I saw that one of Natalie’s cousins had some photos up in the woods. I couldn’t get a location on them because I wasn’t friends with him. So, I got Shuri to make up a hack for me to gain access to an account. I chose one of the aunts, disguising it as a money scheme – she fell for it, clicked on the link. I was able to gain access to her account and was able to access more of the photos on his page. He’s got a cabin in New Hampshire.”

Steve was looking at the photos of the family outside their cabin.

“If she isn’t on the trains,” Clint said, excitedly. “Where are we now with the cameras? The west coast? We should have seen her by now if she was on the Amtrak.” He pointed eagerly at the pictures and said, “This might be it. It wouldn’t cost them anything to stay in and it’s probably secluded. It’s not too far but it’s far enough out of state.”

<><><>

Wanda was leaning back on the couch, flipping through a magazine. She had been watching the cameras for most of the early morning, but Tony had arrived around 6:30am, wanting to try different locations so she got up and left, giving him the space he needed.

The phone on the desk rang nearby, drawing her attention instantly, and she sat up, craning her neck to look at it. The phone was the number they had given out on the ads to call if anyone had any information on Y/N’s whereabouts. Tony’s gaze was locked on it too and before he could react, she was there, picking it up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I’m calling about the missing persons ad.”

Wanda’s breath caught for a moment before she breathed, “Yes?”

“For Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Yes,” Wanda said more impatiently.

“Saw a woman like the photo at one of the cabins up here as I was on a walk real early this morning, right as the sun was coming up. She was sitting on the porch, very pregnant. I didn’t get a great look at her, didn’t want to gawk, you know. Plus, I think I was on their property, so I was probably trespassing, but I was following a doe—”

“Where was it at?” Wanda asked, cutting him off in the politest voice she could muster.

<><><>

“Steve!” Wanda called, taking the stairs by two. Steve called from the community room and she walked briskly, practically breaking into a jog. When she entered the room, she saw Clint, Sam, and him were looking at some photos on the table. Tearing her attention away from that, she said in a rush, “We maybe got something. A man named Will called about it, saying he thinks he saw Y/N.”

“In New Hampshire?”

“Y-Yes?” Wanda said completely confused at how he knew that.

Clint looked beside himself and Steve demanded, “Where at? Did you get a location?”

Wanda told him the address and Steve pulled his phone out, typing it into the maps app. He slammed his hand down on the desk in triumph, standing quickly. He thrust the phone into Clint’s hands. Sam was trying to peer over Clint’s shoulders to get a look too.

“That’s the same damn cabin,” Steve exclaimed, hardly able to contain his excitement. Wanda took notice of the pictures now, leaning over the table to look at them herself.

“Are we going now?” Sam asked just as Steve breezed past him. His eyes swept to Clint and said, “I guess so then.”

“Ha, teamwork,” Clint smiled, squeezing Wanda on the shoulder encouragingly as he walked by, rushing to follow Steve.

<><><>

The team was quick in their assemble upon arrival, Bucky and Natasha having to travel to get there which set Steve on edge because he had been ready immediately in his black suit, anxiousness coursing through him. He was pacing in front of the facility, having a hard time containing the hope blooming. His eyes were set on the tree line, wanting to just get into the car and drive to the address, scoop Y/N up and bring her back home.

He was not going to make the same mistakes he had that had let her slip through his fingers. If he could help it, she would never step foot off that property without him again. He would make sure she learned that lesson as soon as he got her home.

Tony met him at the edge of the entrance patio, not suited up. He was staying behind to monitor from there and he surprised Steve with a small drone, holding it out to him.

“You should not go in there guns blazing before you get sights on her or something to be absolutely sure. Use this. You don’t need to be barging into some random pregnant person’s cabin. Not a good look, not good press. Especially since you’ve got it out there now that you are looking for her. This drone is quiet, but it’s not silent so don’t fly too close or they’ll hear it and it’ll blow your whole covert cover.”

“You mean hovering above the place in a plane isn’t going to do that?”

“You’re not taking a plane, jackass,” Tony retorted, and Steve smirked in response. “Park down the road. You can go in on foot.” Steve thanked him, taking the drone. Tony ran his eyes up and down Steve and asked, “Was it really necessary to get up in the suit?”

“Can’t exactly show up in slacks. Just in case things get squirrelly,” Steve responded.

“’Squirrelly’,” Tony chortled. “Y/N will hardly be able to run.” Steve’s only response to that with a slight smile of acknowledgement. Tony stepped closer and said, “I got something else too. Of course, they say it doesn’t exist because the general public already has an issue with frothing at the mouth with conspiracy theories of the government tracking them. People honestly suffer from grandiosity in this country.” He noticed the impatient look on Steve’s face and apologized, “Sorry. Soap box. How do you feel about a GPS chip?” Steve’s eyes widened in surprise and Tony back tracked quickly. “Right. We can talk about that when she gets back home, safe and sound. I’ve just wanted to try out the new model and she seems like the perfect candidate, perfect circumstance. We’ll chat when you’re back. Don’t forget.”

Tony clapped Steve on the shoulder before walking back towards the door to the elevator.

<><><>

The trip up north was taking longer than Steve wanted it to, his fingers drumming impatiently on his thigh as he watched the trees go by. The thought that Y/N would somehow get tipped off and bolt before he got there was eating away at him. He was watching his phone anxiously, seeing them get closer and closer to where the cabin should be.

When Clint pulled off on the highway at what should be the end of the road that would lead to the cabin, Steve threw the door open and stepped outside. He was ready to let the drone go, flying it towards the direction of where the cabin was in a matter of a few moments, the only pause in the effort being from the drone having to start up. Steve was watching the viewing screen of the drone with intensity as it hovered over the trees, keeping an eye peeled as he followed the gravel road. The rest of the team was waiting around the SUV. Bucky leaned against the side, tapping his foot, trying to expel some of the pent-up adrenaline that everyone was garnering, knowing this needed to be executed without injury or incident.

The cabin was there at the end and Steve leaned forward in anticipation seeing the car.

“That looks like the car model,” Tony said over his earpiece. He was able to access the drone’s camera was well back at the facility. “Zoom in a bit to the license plate.” Steve did as he asked and Tony breathed, “Bingo.”

“Alright,” Steve said far more calmly than he felt. “That’s good enough for me.” He walked back towards the open back door of the SUV, walking up and placing the screen just inside. “The cabin is about half a mile away. Clint, stay here with the car and be ready to come up when we are ready to go. I don’t want Y/N to have to walk back down the driveway. Nat, Sam… you’re with me at the front. Buck, take the back of the cabin. Don’t shoot anyone unless I tell you to.”

“Taking the fun out of things,” Bucky halfheartedly joked.

<><><>

Stretching out on the bed, your toes curled. A sigh of contentment left your lips as your eyes opened, blinking away your sleep. When your vision focused, you saw the clock said it was almost 11:00am. You had managed to fall back asleep around 7:00am and you felt better now that you had gotten some more sleep. You could barely detect Yua and Natalie speaking in low tones, more than likely trying to avoid waking you up.

The serenity was shattered at the loud bang from on the first floor and you heard Yua scream in alarm. You sat up with difficulty just as the door from the balcony burst open. You jolted to the side, holding your stomach protectively.

Your heart rate slowed only for a moment upon recognizing the man who burst in was Bucky. When his cerulean eyes landed on you, gun pointed in your direction, your heart rate blew past normal, your breath quick.

“Bucky?” you got out in a gasp.

He relaxed ever so slightly, his eyes softening at the sight of you. His gun was no longer pointed at you, hanging at his side now. You did not miss the uptick of his lips, satisfaction flooding his face. But he still stayed on alert, ready to raise his weapon again if needed.

You sat up straight slowly, despite the commotion downstairs, keeping eye contact with him. Getting to your feet you tried to drown out the sounds of shouting downstairs, focusing only on him. His eyes flicked to your stomach, causing your hands to clench tighter around it and he made eye contact with you again.

“You can let me leave,” you said to him, your voice shaking.

Bucky’s laugh was humorless. “Y/N. Sweetheart, c’mon.” He was chastising you for even suggesting it with that tone.

“Buck?”

The sound of his voice rolling up the stairs made you freeze to the spot.

“I’ve got your doll in my scope. She looks good, Steve,” Bucky called back down towards the ground floor.

The sound of his foot on the bottom stair made you flinch. His footfalls were heavy, each step putting another nail in the coffin of your freedom. Your eyes flicked towards the open door and Bucky gave you a disappointed look, taking a step back towards it. He shook his head and you tore your eyes away from him, eyes fixated on the stairs.

He came into view quick, his height surpassing the staircase railing long before Yua or Natalie’s would. The same time elation flew through his features upon seeing you, you felt dread course through your veins. He was geared up, like he was going into a fight. Apparently, he did not underestimate the three of you.

Steve was a foot from you now, his gaze piercing and you were too afraid to take your eyes off him. There were a few moments of silence before he said quietly, “I admit, you have some loyal friends down there. They remind me of Buck.” You said nothing and he asked harshly now, “What did you think this was going to accomplish though, really, Y/N?”

You sucked in your bottom lip, unable to form a sentence in your frightened state about what he was there to do besides take you back.

“Answer me.”

Stammering, you said, “I… I just…” You were embarrassed he was shaking you up so bad. You had been in such a haze, hoping beyond reason that the three of you would eventually be able to settle down and it would blow over. The longer you had stayed away, the more the doubt it could work had been overshadowed by that terrible misleading feeling of hope.

Steve’s expression softened seeing you tripping over your words. He stepped closer and you instinctively stepped back. His lips formed into a thin line, stopping his advancement. “Y/N, doll, please. I want what is best for you. All I want is to take care of you. You worried me, doll. You worried me a lot. Do you know what it felt like to not know where you were? If you were safe? If the children were safe? Can you imagine how utterly upset you made me? How betrayed I felt when I realized you were gone? I leave to let you have a party with your friends, to give you space with them.” You almost flinched at the phrasing, like he had taken the words right out of your mouth. If he noticed, he did not show it. He continued on, “I leave a gift behind for you to find, something I built for you and the babies, and how do you repay me? You left. Without a word. Like I didn’t matter. Did you even see the gift?”

“No,” you whispered.

“Of course you didn’t. You didn’t care enough to look. You were only concerned with yourself. Out of everyone in the world, I didn’t think it would be you that would betray me like this. You told me you loved me.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as your eyes glistened with tears. He sounded deeply hurt, wounded. You could see it in his eyes.

“I can forgive you, Y/N. Trusting you is something else entirely. I don’t think that’s an option right now. But… I can forgive you. You just have to come back and be good.”

You averted your gaze, your chest tightening at his order.

Steve closed the space between you, and you did not move away this time. He hooked his fingers underneath your chin, tipping your head up. “It’s me…” Steve told you as his eyes hardened, and he warned gravely, “Or nobody.”

You did not have to imagine all the guns pointed at your friends downstairs. You either left with them both dead and back with Steve. Or left with them both alive and with Steve. Either way, he had you enveloped back to him. The degree of guilt is what you were choosing, that’s what he was giving you.

You were taking too long to answer.

Steve looked over his shoulder, making eye contact with Bucky. Bucky started walking towards the staircase where he could look down on the living room.

“Steve, don’t—” you choked out.

“I want to hear you say it.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“Good.”

You let out a strangled noise before you got out in between tears, “I won’t ever try to leave you again, I swear. I’ll stay home for you. I’ll take care of the twins. I’ll do what you ask, I’ll listen, like I promised. I’ll be happy.”

“Were you ever?” He asked coldly.

“I w-was,” you said shakily, nodding. Nodding to convince yourself, remind yourself that you had been. “I was, really.”

“And what changed that, hmm?”

“You… you locked me away in the house.”

His lips twitched at the accusation and you feared you had made a misstep, fearing for Yua and Natalie. He did not make a move though except to say, “And why did I do that?”

He wanted you to say what he believed. He wanted you to believe it too. The tears were fat rolling down your cheeks as you whispered, “Because… you wanted to keep me safe.”

“That’s right, doll,” Steve breathed easier, smiling. His fingers caressed your face. “That’s exactly what I was doing. And you pulling this little stunt proved my gut instinct was right, didn’t it? You need protection, especially from yourself. You are impulsive and don’t think about the long-term repercussions of your actions.” His hand came to rest on your abdomen, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me, doll. I want you to just come home and let me take care of you. That’s what’s going to happen. Right?”

“Yes,” a voice that sounded like yours said; it was like you were outside your body. “Yes, I want that.”

“That’s what I thought,” Steve said, leaning forward and giving you a long kiss on your forehead.

“My friends?” you choked out.

Steve pulled away from you and smirked at you. “Hmm, maybe you can be concerned with more than yourself. Maybe I was too harsh there for a moment… what about your friends?”

“Please don’t hurt them. Please let them leave and go back home unharmed.”

He exhaled heavily and asked seriously, “And why should I do that?”

“Bucky would help you if you asked.” Bucky turned his head towards the pair of you and you tried to pretend like you did not notice his gaze. “It’s not their fault. I asked for help. It’s my fault. They shouldn’t be punished for my mistake. Please don’t make them pay for my behavior.”

Steve looked contemplative and you waited with bated breath, hoping he would react positively to your display of holding yourself liable. He wanted you to beg and you were giving it to him.

Over his shoulder, he finally ordered, “Let the ladies grab their things and get out of here. They’re safe… as long as Y/N continues to behave.” You opened your mouth to protest but he cut you off by pressing a button on his earpiece. “Barton, we’re ready. Come on up.”

He grasped your arm and you tried to yank your arm away from him. He was far too strong and jolted you to him. “Don’t go messing this up now, Y/N. You were doing so well. Don’t make this harder for me than it has to be to get you in the damn car. You got what you wanted with your friends; you just need to uphold your side of the bargain.”

~~~

Tags: @imsonick , @alexakeyloveloki, @kvzctam, @ironlady1993, @taintedgenre, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @roxyfan14-blog @mrsnegan25 @coconutqueen21

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Stuck With You

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6  🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25 🡪chapter 26 🡪chapter 27 🡪chapter 28 🡪chapter 29 🡪chapter 30 🡪chapter 31 🡪chapter 32  🡪chapter 33 🡪chapter 34 🡪chapter 35 🡪chapter 36 🡪chapter 37

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you  In the eye of the tornado Rowing in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you

Gotta go with the flow And ride the wave right where we're supposed to Yeah, we can go through all the highs and lows Yeah, life's a crazy roller coaster

click here to be on the update list

NIALL

                                              We were lucky enough to find a store still open, buying everything she needed to snowboard before renting more equipment. I looked at her getting ready with a small smile and tried not to chuckle. She was endearing, and the fact that she was ready to try this just for me meant a lot and also proved a lot.

"Shit, I forgot my phone!" she let out, rolling her eyes and making me raise my eyebrows.

"Do you really need it right now?" I asked with a chuckle. "I have mine." I patted my shirt pocket and grimaced immediately, letting out a groan. "Fuck, I forgot mine too."

"Do you really need it right now?" she teased with a grin, making me smile more.

"Yes, one of us has to have one, just in case something happens." I took my gloves off and put them on the couch next to her. "Wait for me okay? I'll do quick."

She nodded and I looked around, realizing the place was more quiet than I thought it would be. I rushed to the hall and took the elevator, running to our room and walking in. The light was still on and I grabbed my phone on the nightstand where I left it but finally decided to search for hers, too. It took me about a minute to notice it on the desk placed against the wall and grabbed it, turning around to leave, before something caught my attention.

I frowned, recognizing the back of my head on a picture, and took it in my hand to look at it better. My eyes quickly roamed on my shoulder, neck and hair but when they stopped on Devon's forehead and hair, I held my breath. My fingers were slipped in it and my heart started thumping in my chest. I remembered exactly how I felt at that moment, how deep inside her I was, how her lips parted in pleasure. It was the very first time we ever had sex and looking at that picture made me realize we would always have something to remind us of this moment, something that would always bring many emotions inside me, including lust and love. I already loved her at that moment and I wanted to believe she did too.

I ran my finger on the part of her forehead I could see and sighed. It was still not completely clear between us, I knew we had a lot of things to talk about, but I was not sure what exactly stopped her from giving us a chance. I loved her, and she loved me, and obviously, we had been been through bad relationships and I was sure that neither of us would want the other to suffer again the way we had before. Besides, it was totally different. Abby didn't love me and I was pretty sure Henry didn't really love her either.

I couldn't believe she had brought the pictures with her and it made me wonder why she never showed them to me. She had talent to take pictures, there was no doubt about it, but this picture had probably turned out that good mostly because of luck. She couldn't have put much thought into it, giving the position she was in, but the result was incredible and something twisted in my stomach as I looked at it. I didn't know if other people beside us would be able to feel all the emotions that emanated from it but at the same time, I didn't really care. I liked to think we were the only ones who could understand, the only ones who could really feel deeply about it because of how involved we were. It was even slightly scary to know that some people could look at it without understanding the degree of intimacy in it.

I was about to put the picture back on the desk where I found it when the light of the room reflected something behind it. I turned it around and read the words written quickly at first and then slowly the second time. It was Devon's handwriting and I immediately recognized the second part she had scribbled. My heart skipped a beat as I re-read my own lyrics of the song I had written for her and I shook my head slightly. She had an incredible memory and it made the left corner of my lips raise in a small smile. I went back to the first part and my smile fell when I realized she had written an actual verse for my song.

"Darlin', are you always tryin' to blame me? Is it me or 'cause you came here? Just accept that time was wrong Oh, change thee I've been thinkin' bout it lately We never finished what we started Now I'm fearful that it's gone."

I sang it in my head a few times before doing it out loud but still very low. It fitted perfectly and I sighed, my eyes still roaming on the words. It was amazing to think we sort of wrote a song together and I loved knowing that each verse was the point of view of one of us. Did she know the song was about her? That thought made my heart jump in my chest before I rolled my eyes and let out a chuckle. It was not a secret that I loved her, not anymore, and it was a good thing. I wasted so much time trying to hate her even though I knew it was impossible.

I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture of the lyrics she wrote but also of the picture she took to be able to look at it whenever I wanted and finally checked my watch. I had been gone for a while and I rushed out, reaching the elevator as fast as I could. When I walked back to her, she was sitting on the couch, her head leaned on the back and her lips parted. I could hear her snore lightly and I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Devie, hey." I said softly, bending down to shake her gently and making her whimper. "Wake up."

She groaned and sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes and letting out a sigh. She was cute when she slept and I waited a few seconds until her eyes fluttered open to talk again.

"Come on, we only have time for a few basic things."

She got up but almost tripped and I held her, chuckling again.

"You okay?" I asked, moving my face a bit closer to look at her.

She sent me a small smile and nodded. "Yea sorry, just give me a few minutes to wake up completely." she licked her lips and finally raised her eyebrows. "Hey, what took you so long?"

"Oh, I couldn't find your phone." I half-lied, searching my pocket and handing it to her. "I put it in a plastic bag for you, just in case you drop it in the snow or something."

Her head tilted and she sent me a fond smile before pressing her lips together. I felt my heart skip a beat when she moved closer but she stopped herself suddenly. "Thank you."

I wanted her to kiss me. I wanted her to do it first, for once. It seemed like I was always the one who made the first move no matter what we did, especially when it came to something romantic. Maybe she's had had a few initiatives when it came to sex but somehow, whenever it was about love, she seemed reluctant.

"You're welcome." I whispered, fighting the urge I had to kiss her.

We grabbed our stuff and walked outside. I saw her shiver next to me when a whiff of cold air hit us but she still followed me to a very small slope. I tried to show her the basics but she was clearly scared to hurt herself and I finally sat next to her in the snow after she fell.

"How about we go a bit higher?" I proposed, smiling gently when I saw the alarmed expression on her face. "I'll be there with you, okay?"

It took her about a minute to answer. Her eyes roamed on my face and once again, I thought she was going to kiss me and my eyes dropped to her lips. She probably noticed because she licked them nervously and my gaze moved back to her eyes.

"Okay."

I helped her up and we walked slowly to the chairlift in silence. I kept glancing at her and she did the same but it's only when we were half-way there, completely up in the air that everything stopped. My heart jumped in my chest and my eyes got bigger when I realized we were stuck and I swallowed hard, turning to her as she did the same. Her lips curled a bit and she burst into laughing, throwing her head back and making my lips curl.

"It's good luck, remember?" she pointed out, smiling more. "That's what you said!"

"I still think that!" I laughed with her, taking my gloves off to grab my phone. "I'll text Lewis, I know he's near his phone. He can inform them and they'll come get us."

I typed something quickly and sent it, my eyes stuck to the screen until I got an answer from my friend that simply consisted of a laughing emoji and a thumb up.

"It's weird isn't it?" I finally said after a few minutes of silence. "How we always get stuck together somewhere when we have something to solve."

She turned her head my way and tilted it, sending me a small but curious frown. "We have something to solve?"

I turned my body as much as I could to face her and shook my head, my eyebrows raised. "Yes we do. Devie, why don't you want me to say you're my girlfriend?"

"We.. We didn't even discuss it."

"We are now." I pointed out with a sigh. "You said you loved me, we made love this afternoon. I didn't tell our friends because I saw how you reacted when I said the 'g' word this morning in the closet but, what do I have to do?"

"You don't get it."

"No! No I don't!"

I was trying to keep my cool but I wanted her to open up to me, I needed it. I needed her and I needed to be with her. It sounded obsessed, it was intense, but It was driving me crazy to know how she felt without being able to really be with her.

"I do love you! I love you so much Niall I don't think you understand!" she let out before breathing in deeply. I saw her tear up and my lips parted slightly. "You remember when you said I moved you? That my art moved you? Henry used to say that too. I know you're not him, but it's not easy for me to put aside all the pain I went through with him just to throw myself in a new relationship. I don't know how you do it. Abby has hurt you so much too and you're just ready to... to jump back into something official and serious with me." She breathed in and I noticed a tear falling down her right cheek. I wanted to reach out to her but I couldn't, I felt paralyzed. "I am nothing special. I am not like the girls you've been with. I am... I am lost, and scared, and scarred! I love you but I'm scared! I'm scared I'll give you everything and that you'll break me the way I was broken before! But I love you so much more than I loved him! I feel so much closer to you than I ever felt to him! And if you... if you leave... When you realize I'm average... or even below..."

I waited a few seconds, staring at her and she sniffed. It was crazy that she kept all that inside for so long, and at the same time, I was so happy she was finally telling me how she feels.

"Are you done yet?" I asked making her look in my eyes again before sending her a small smile. "Devie, I'm scared too. But I love you, I'm in love with you, and I'm ready to take that chance, because being without you is worse than being heartbroken by you. It's ok to love again!"

She sniffed again and pressed her lips together. I brought my hand to her face and brushed my fingertips on her skin, smiling more. "If you shut yourself from feelings, you may make sure that nothing bad happens and that your heart won't be broken, but you also miss all the good things and all the love you could get." I explained in a low tone. "I can't promise you that everything will always be perfect, but I promise I'll keep trying because that's how much I love you. I told you, Devie, you're my main girl. You're the protagonist of this story. No one can take your role. No one."

Her lips curled too and she chuckled before nodding quickly and bending closer to me. She pressed her lips on mine, making me smile too. "I wouldn't want to be stuck here with anyone else." she whispered, making me chuckle before kissing me deeper.

We started laughing against each other's mouth when the chairlift started moving again and finally walked back inside. We were both very cold and we decided to just go back to our room, taking the elevator in silence again. We both got changed into warm clothes and sat in bed together. She leaned her head on my shoulder and moved her legs over mine. I smiled when I saw her warm socks and left a kiss on top of her head.

"That painting you made here the other night..." I started gently, leaning my cheek on top of her head. "It was the first time I saw you paint with light colors. It was beautiful, it looked like a summer sky."

She reached for my hand on her thigh and intertwined our fingers. "All the paintings I made since I arrived here were about you. My art has been about you and my feelings for you, the emotions you made me feel." she explained, surprising me a bit, especially that all my songs were about her. "You make me feel those colors. You make me feel light and clear and warm. You make me feel alive."

"That's not what the painting in our room says, the one you gave me. There's yellow, but there's so much darkness in it. Every time I look at it, I feel horrible for ever making you feel so bad. I'm sorry, Devie."

She moved away slowly to turn around and face me. Her lips curled softly on the left and she licked her lips, shaking her head slightly. "You got it all wrong, Niall." she pointed out gently, raising her eyebrows. "You're not the black in that painting. You're the yellow. You're the light trying to reach me, stopped by my own demons and fears. You're the light in my life, Niall. You've always been the light."

I brought both my hands to her face and cupped her cheeks, kissing her harder than intended. I felt her move closer and straddle me and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as possible. "I love you, Devie, I love you so much." I whispered in-between kisses. "Since the first day."

"I love you too." she murmured back, slipping her hands in my hair. "I always have."

----

We got prepared together the next morning and whenever I'd walk near her, I'd pull her close to kiss her lips and she'd giggle or smile. There was something natural in the way we moved together around the room, even in a place we were not used to, and I couldn't help but think it was a proof that we were made for each other. When we were ready, I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, making her twirl around as she started laughing and I walked to the door, bringing her with me. We took the elevator to meet our friends downstairs but when the doors opened, I let go of her hand, not really sure if she had changed her mind. I didn't want to rush her, and I didn't want to lose her either. She glanced at me but still followed me to the main room where all our friends were waiting for us, talking and laughing together.

I turned to look at her as her eyes roamed on everyone and after about a minute, I felt her hand reach mine and grab it tight. It took a few seconds but Lewis finally noticed us, his lips curling into a smirk when he noticed we were holding hands. He hit Louis a bit roughly who just frowned but finally turned to us too before our friends noticed us one by one. I cleared my throat when Louis jumped off the couch with a big smile.

"Fuckin' finally!" he yelled, catching the attention of almost everyone in the room. "That's it? That's official? You two are dating?"

"Yes, it's official." Devon replied loud and clear, surprising everyone.

I noticed Mandy winking at her and squeezed her fingers tighter as Louis walked quickly to us, throwing his arms around my girlfriend's neck and holding her close.

"Took you long enough." he told her with a chuckle as she wrapped her free arm around him. "I'm so happy for you two."

Lewis walked to me to hug me too and then almost everyone followed. I noticed Abby sending me a small and sad smile from afar and I just smiled back gently at her, surprised that she took it so well.

"Okay!" Louis let out, clapping in his hands. "Who's hungry?"

Everyone started talking at the same time and they all decided to go to the restaurant to get some food before starting the day. I stopped Devon as she was following them, pulling on her arm to bring her closer to me and just wrapped my arms around her as she tilted her chin up, sliding her hands on my back.

"So that's it? You're my girlfriend?" I asked with an amused grin, making her smile too.

"Mmhm, I'm ready to try that boyfriend/girlfriend thing with you."

"Are you happy, Devon Eaton?" I whispered low, looking down at her.

Her traits softened and she looked at me fondly, in a way no one else had ever looked at me. "Happier than I've ever been. I love you, Niall Horan."

"Not as much as I love you."

[favefandomimagines]

Goodbye Love (t.h.)

Summary: Tom doesn’t realize how much being shipped with another woman hurts you, until you leave.

AN: i did a concept like this with a ben hardy imagine so I thought I’d do it with Tom. This is old and is one of the 41 drafts i have saved but too scared to post lol SO i hope you enjoy (using hailey bieber as a face claim cause i felt weird having a faceless photo of someone on a red carpet) xx

Ever since Tom had finished filming Spider-Man: Far From Home, the tomdaya shippers have been in full swing.

Shipping them ten times as hard as they did the first time. It was easy to ignore but now it was getting hard. Especially when Tom isn’t doing anything to make it stop.

His fans found an interview of him, being asked if he found his Liz Allen in real life and when he answered yes, the video was edited to show videos and pictures of him and Zendaya. Even though in that interview he was talking about you.

Currently in Atlanta, you sat on the bed you shared with Tom, Tessa laying close to you, almost as if she knew that you were upset. You were waiting for Tom to come home, though you were a nervous wreck. How were you supposed to tell him how you felt and that you were going home for a little bit?

“Love, I’m home!” Tom called from the living room. You didn’t move and neither did Tessa. Which was odd because she always left to go greet Tom when he got home.

He entered the room and saw you two on the bed. “There are my girls.” He greeted with a smile on his face. He walked over and tried to kiss your lips but you moved your head so his lips landed on your cheek instead.

Tom looked at you for a moment, a curious look falling on his face. “What’s wrong?” He asked. Tom knew you inside and out and he could tell something was wrong with you.

You didn’t look up at him, just handed him your phone with the screenshots and screen recordings, of people praising him and Zendaya’s nonexistent relationship and degrading you and your real one.

“Two years, Tom. I’ve been going through this for two years.” You finally spoke. “At first, I ignored it. Knowing I could put up with it for a few months while the movie was out and you were doing press. Then it just kept getting worse. Seeing people call me terrible names and wanting you to break up with me and wanting me to-” You started but stopping yourself, the more intense comments being worse than most. “Y/N-“ He tried to speak. “And you know what the worst part is? You haven’t done a single thing to end it.” You cut him off.

You still hadn’t looked at him when you got off the bed and grabbed the two bags you packed.

Tom watched you place them on the bed and his heart started to beat faster and his eyes widened. “W-What are you doing?” He asked. “I think, I should go back to LA for a little bit and just let you think things through. Is letting your fans have some fun with the idea of tomdaya worth losing me?” You replied.

“Y/N, please don’t do this. Please don’t leave me.” Tom begged, tears welling up in his eyes. “We’re just taking a break, Tom. But if you decide that I’m not worth it, that’s going to be it.” You told him. You picked up the bags and headed towards the door when Tom grabbed your wrist. “Please don’t leave.” Tom whispered.

You looked at him for a moment before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I have too.” You whispered back. Tom reluctantly let go of your wrist as you opened the door.

Tessa got down off the bed and began to follow you out the bedroom door. The dog began to cry softly as you headed towards the front door of the airbnb. “Goodbye, love.” You said to Tom before exiting the house.

Tom watched you leave, the tears falling freely at that point. He didn’t know it had gotten so bad for you. He’s ignored the shipping a million times knowing it was you he loved but he never knew you were second guessing everything about your relationship and yourself.

He ran his hands through his hair out of frustration before retreating back to the bedroom.

***

It had been three weeks. Three weeks since he had seen you. Of course he’d seen the photos of you in LA. Just because you’re going through something emotionally, doesn’t mean your career stops.

You had been doing a bunch of press for the TV season you had just wrapped before you went to Atlanta with Tom. It was the best idea you could think of to get your mind off of Tom.

He wasn’t having such luck. Everything reminded him of you and he wasn’t the same knowing that your relationship was in the balance. And everyone around him noticed.

“Tom, what’s going on?” Zendaya asked him one day. “Y/N didn’t leave for work, she left because of the fans shipping you and I. She couldn’t take it anymore.” Tom answered. “What do you mean?” She asked. “I’m supposed to be her boyfriend and you’re supposed to be her friend and yet we let thousands of people ship us together, without even thinking of how that could make Y/N feel.” Tom ranted.

Zendaya had never thought of that before. She didn’t realize just how cruel the fans were until she checked while she was talking to Tom.

“Oh yeah. This is, uh, very bad.” Zendaya said. Tom looked at her phone and noticed that there were new comments.

‘Y/N is so beneath Tom. Zendaya is a queen’

‘Y/N should just kill herself.’

‘Y/N’s show is gonna flop and then tom will see how much better zendaya is’

‘tomdaya is better.’

Tom’s stomach twisted seeing all the negative comments about his girlfriend and one wanting her to end her life. If they were really his fans, they’d support him 100%. “How could they be so cruel?” Tom asked. “I don’t know but maybe we do need to say something.” Zendaya replied.

“I need to get her to come back.” He muttered. “You setting your fans straight will do that.” Zendaya told him. Tom nodded his head before taking out his phone and posting an old picture of you at the Infinity War premiere.

@tomholland2013: i am going to be blunt and i’ve never done this before so bear with me. but the constant shipping of Zendaya and I, had gotten out of hand. I am in a happy and loving relationship with the woman in this photo. You don’t have to like it but you have to respect it. Y/N is the love of my life and seeing her being brought down my total strangers, breaks my heart. No fan of mine brings her down. And that’s that. @y/f/n_y/l/n

You got the notification that Tom had tagged you in a photo. Swiping your phone, you read the caption carefully. “He finally did it.” You said to yourself. But why now, two weeks later?

That conversation wasn’t one to have over the phone so you had your agent get you the next flight to Atlanta.

“Are you sure you want to leave half way through press?” She asked you. “I have too. Everyone will understand, they know how much Tom means to me.” You answered. “Okay. Your flight lands at 9:45 and pack an umbrella. There’s supposed to be a huge storm when you land.” She told you. You gave her a gracious smile before getting in your Uber.

***

Tom sat on the couch, quietly watching whatever soccer game was on, only wishing you were there next to him. You hated watched soccer with him because of how competitive he got but whenever he asked, you watched with him. 

He was knocked out of his reminiscing by the sound of his phone vibrating. Seeing it was Harrison, he sighed but picked it up. “Hello?” He answered. “Are you still sulking?” Harrison asked his best friend. “What do you think?” Tom retorted. “You have to stop that, Tom. She’ll come back when she’s ready.” Harrison told him. 

Tom sighed, knowing well that Harrison could hear. “Look, you saw the comments. They’re terrible. Telling her to kill herself so that you and Zendaya can finally be together. You don’t get over something like that over a few nights.” He added. “I know, but I just wish I could make it better. It’s been three weeks.” Tom said. “I know but you did all you can do. It’s all up to her now.” Harrison said. 

Tom knew his best friend was right. He knew you needed time to yourself, to make sure you were fully ready to come back to him. “But, if it’s any consolation, I had a surprise sent to your doorstep.” Harrison added. “What?” Tom questioned. “And you might wanna hurry up and bring it inside before it gets absolutely soaked.” He said. 

With furrowed eyebrows Tom got off the couch with his phone still pressed to his ear. “What are you on about?” Tom asked him. “Just do it.” Harrison ordered. Tom rolled his eyes and walked towards the door. He opened it up to reveal a soaking wet you. 

“Hi, love.” You greeted him, the sound of the rain nearly drowning out your voice. “Y/N, w-wha- you’re here.” Tom stammered. “Yes, I am now can you please let me inside before I get pneumonia?” You asked with a small laugh. 

Tom didn’t let you inside but instead hung up the phone and walked outside to pull you into him. He didn’t care if you were soaked from the rain or the fact that he was also getting wet as well. The only thing that mattered to him was you. 

“Tom, you’re going to get sick.” You told him, breaking the silence. “I don’t care. That’s the last thing I care about. I just need to hold you.” He replied.

You let go and looked up at him for a moment. “Y/N, I was a mess without you. You are everything to me and not having you here was hell.” Tom told you. “I love you, I am so in love with you. And I’m so sorry.” He added.

You didn’t say anything at first but wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down closer to you, to place a deep kiss on his lips.

Pulling apart, he rested his forehead on yours. “Let’s get inside before you catch a cold.” You told him, pushing him inside the house.

Tessa barked and ran to you and a large smile made it’s way to your face. “Tess! I missed you!” You greeted the dog, crouching down to her level. Tom smiled at the sight, feeling as if everything was back to normal.

“Y/N,” Tom started, causing you to turn to face him. He offered you his hand, which you took, to help you up from your crouched position. “I will never make you feel unimportant again. I am so sorry.” He said. You gave him a warm smile before kissing him gently.

“I know. It’s okay.” You replied. “I love you, Y/N. With everything I have.” He told you. “And I love you.” You said, the two of you plus Tessa cuddling on the couch for the night. 

[fandom-blackhole]

First of all give Gwen a good belly rub and a kith om her head. I bet she is a good girl. Also, I don't know what kind of force bond thingy is this but you and I think in almost the same wa. No worries me likey!

AAA I was thinking about Fennec too! See told you we are connected,

Boba having grandpa moment sksksks but yes, he loves Fennec as much as he loves you,

Also, for the love of God, don't ask him to take photos of you,

All your selfies with him end up looking like this 😐Boba 🤗You,

Boba was feeling extra and bought two diamonds collars, one smaller for Fennec and a bigger one for you,

If, he was not a crime lord and didn't meet you he would end up being like a crazy old cat lady,

Is your head okay? It must be painful to have a brain the size of the universe.

Yes, yes, yes Paz definitely helps hurt animals and went out of his way to get rhe right diploma for that,

Din is butthurt when children flood him with question when will Mr Paz come again,

But he swallows his pride and totally participates in eco wokness classes,

Recently I watched a documentary on YouTube about japanese bunny cafe sooo

Paz has also area for the rabbits in the restaurant???

One day on his way to work Paz came across a pupper in distress and he performed a cpr on the dog, someone filmed it and it went viral,

You were scrolling through Instagram and had to double take

Wait was it? No it can't be

Omg Paz my hero, being friends with animals like a Disney princess,

I need you to lay down, your back must be hurt as well. Hurt from carrying this AU on your back queen.

Space themed room for Grogu 10/10 idea and your idea for the metal ball works so well!

Grogu + Din + Running = one day you end up tending to your boys, there are some scratches on their knees and elbows, but mostly Din took the damage(like it was bound to happen there are compilations of din landing on his butt),

Grogu's stroller must be made out of some, really resilient material (beskar??),

Grogu being freaked out by Fennec, like he sees a kitty but the kitty behaves like a doggo??? (srsly Maine Coons are the best high five bestie),

Boba tried to snap a pic of Grogu and Fennec, yeah, we know how it ended up looking,

Grogu desperately tries to steal and sneak in snacks for uncle Paz' pupper because it's so tiny, must feed it a lot! (oh bless his poor soul, little angel),

You and Din spent a whole day shopping for a space themed blankie, literally went to every shop possible, you were too dedicated to the cause but you ended up placing an order on-line,

When Boba had to go abroad for business, you settled on having a FaceTime date,

You wanted to surprise him so he would try his best to come back home as soon as possible,

You call him up appearing on his screen, wearing his favorite lingerie,

Only to end up to a close up of Boba's forehead and him saying

Princess I can't see you, can you hear me, baby girl are you there??,

Srsly what's wrong with him not being able to use the technology correctly,

You decided on sending him pictures, yours were really spicy, you wanted to show him what he was missing,

Well, he send you a pic too. You weren't sure if it was his arm, leg, or his dick.

Maybe you need to check if his camera is stuck on some type of foggy filter because it's just ridiculous at this point,

Sorry I kinda went all of the place with those. If you want to stick up to specific theme you can choose! Or we can just keep up the random brainstorming - 🐣

Kajdksmskaksb stop! You can't be this nice to me lmao. (Also its funny you mention that my brain must hurt bc I do have chronic headaches and migraines) oh and Gwen says thank you for the belly rub and kisses.....

Lmao Boba is a total grandpa when it comes to technology

He totally takes pictures for you like this

Diamond collar you say 👀👀👀 (Boba's princess is totally inscribed on the inside)

TRYING TO FUCKING FACETIME WITH BOBA OMFG

This man is just fuckinv holding the phone like you would when speaking on the phone, you're just seeing the side of his head

He totally tried to send a disk pick but he only got his thigh and like part of his left ball in the picture, not that you can tell

How the fuck does this man have a phone that has the ability to take pictures as good as the best cameras out there manage to only get pictures that look like they were taken with a flip phone?!?!?!

Din's students definitely ask every day when Paz is coming, they just love him and it takes sssoooooo long for him to come back lmao

Paz's restaurant has places for all types of animals, it doesn't matter what they are he has thought of something for them, and he has food for all of them

Paz totally accidentally becomes viral and gets interviewed by so many news channels, and of course he uses the exposure for good and makes an Instagram to show case the restaurant, his organization, and all of the charities he helps

The Instagram blows up and becomes verified and all the money he makes from it he donates to a new charity each month

(He starts hanging up all the fanart he receives all over the restaurant, especially the ones done by kids)

Ok so Din coming home just covered in scratches and your just like 'wtf happened?!?!!'

Turns out Grogu tried to jump out of the stroller while he was jogging and he had to catch him

Din's entire arm and knee + part of his cheek are just scratched to hell, Grogu hand has a small scratch and he's acting like its the end of the world

Grogu + Fennec = over protective pet and the child that it protects

Fennec is constantly pulling Grogu back from trouble by biting his pants leg

Paz's chihuahua (aaaahhh we need a name) loves abusing Grogu's feeding them habit, constantly begging for food around him and he A L W A Y S finds a way to give them some even if you are watching him like a hawk

Also I raise you, Grogu's favorite movies and TV shows are Star Wars

You are constantly trying to convince Din that he looks like Pedro Pascal, but he always deny it

Jokingly one day you say, "you know what you're right Din, Pedro is so much hotter."

He pouts for the rest of the day

For his bday you get Grogu a Luke figure and post it to Twitter, Mark Hamill sees it and retweets it telling him happy bday and may the force be with you

Grogu totally flips out in excitement

Din makes Grogu his own mandalorian helmet that he helps him paint what colors he wants

Paz gets Grogu a telescope and a book about stars

Boba of course spoils the kid and gets the giant lego star wars sets, as well as one of the actual blasters used on set of the OG movies (its one of the ones that that really cool green bounty hunter used 😏)

Also this is us:

Anyways, sorry I was all over the place, I just got so excited lmao!!!

(Send me THOTS!!)

[psychedellic-phase]

Fifteen (Part 12)

A/N: I altered the timeline & updated the last chapter w the correct weeks!! sorry for any confusion that causes. I need to be accurate or it’d bother me lol 

ALSO: end the stigma surrounding miscarriage/infertility. your feelings and experiences are valid. 

Tw: miscarriage, cursing, slight spoilers for the episode “200”

word count: 4.4 k

masterlist

series masterlist

“It was a Thursday, no I guess technically it was a Friday since it was 3 am. You woke me up, poking my shoulder gently until I stirred. 

“This is going to sound weird but did you...?”

I was groggy and sore and cranky. It was 3 am, and you woke me up. Of course I was annoyed. My back was killing me, “Spence, what?”

“Did you pee yourself?” You whispered, and I laughed. 

“What? No?” 

That’s when I shifted to roll over and face you. That’s when I felt it. It was like a freight train hitting me. I was dizzy and nauseous and could suddenly feel every part of my body aching. 

“Then, t-then what’s this?” 

You threw the covers off of us. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so scared. 

I just stared at it. Our gray sheets darkened. I had no emotions. No instincts. No movement. You’d think I’d have an intuition of what I needed to do. My maternal instinct would’ve kicked in, or I guess it wouldn’t have because I was no longer a mother. 

I don’t know how I didn’t wake up earlier. I keep wracking my brain for a reason why I didn’t wake up. Why did you have to wake me up? Why didn’t I just know? I should’ve just known. I should’ve had a feeling, but I didn’t have any feelings. Because that’s what shock is. It’s nothing. It’s staring at everything and feeling absolute nothingness. 

It’s weird to think that that night we went to bed, laughing and chatting and snuggling close to each other. It’s weird to think that we had no idea what was coming. We were living in ignorant bliss. It’s sad that that was our last night we spent together as a whole family unit. I wish I knew about lasts before they happened, that way I could savor the moment. Soak it all up. Bask in the warmth of you. 

We fell asleep as we usually do did, you spooning me from behind, one hand on my belly the other on my back. You whispering that you loved me, you hoped I slept well; me telling you that the papaya sized thing in my uterus would make sure that I did not sleep well. You’d laugh, your breath would tickle my neck, then I’d laugh, and we’d finally calm down and fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

That’s the last time we fell asleep like that. I wish I knew. I would have appreciated the little things. I would’ve appreciated the way you rubbed little shapes on my skin, the way you dealt with me needing no comforter because I was always hot and sweaty, even though you run cold. I wish I could go back and appreciate every one of our lasts, just so I could hold onto those memories a little while longer. But I guess I’ve held onto them long enough if I’m giving them all back to you. 

Speaking of, what is your item for this letter? Go ahead. Go look. It isn’t going to be what you expect.”

He was much calmer than he was before. The numbness had returned. He felt kind of okay actually. He felt like that was the last bit of emotion he had left. But then again, he felt that way in letter four. He felt that way in letter seven. He knew it wouldn’t last, but he was determined to savor it, grind through the last few letters while he was still numb, then hopefully decide what to do while his head was clear. 

He reached in, surprised at what you had chosen. 

“Yes, this is definitely not what you expected. I’m sure you expected another baby memento, or maybe an ultrasound picture. But like I said, all the baby stuff is gone. And I’m keeping the ultrasounds. I’ll mail you copies, I promise. And unlike you, I don’t make a habit of breaking my promises. 

Now to anyone who doesn’t know PG, this little stuffed unicorn looks like it was for the baby. But when you know her as well as we do, you know it was for me. Penelope decorates her desk with trinkets and light-up frogs and flower pens because they help her see the bad. They make it easier. By giving me this, she was giving me something to protect me from the horror I would have to face. And for a little while, it actually worked. I hope it’ll do the same for you.”

He laughed, an honest, genuine, laugh. He held the stuffed thing in his hands, leaning back onto the bed. It was white with rainbow hair and a glittery purple horn. He remembered when Penelope brought it in the room, delicately placing it on your bedside table.

“She’ll need this, and so will you,” She said. Spencer just nodded and watched her disappear. 

“I will spare you the grisly details, Spence; you were there. I will just mention the main ideas. 

As I sat there, staring at the mess that had formed in front of me, you got up. You were visibly shaking as you turned on the lights and called an ambulance. Your face was gray. I’ve never seen it that color. I couldn’t focus on anything except you and the pain. God, the pain. It radiated from my abdomen, up into my heart and festered there. It was a different kind of pain, unlike any I’d ever experienced before. Then came the adrenaline, pumping through my body at an insane rate. Then I felt foggy, like I was watching what was happening to me on a tv screen. It was the closest thing to an out-of-body experience I’ve ever had.  

You knelt down next to me, holding my torso. We didn’t speak. We didn’t cry. We were both in shock.

I don’t even know what you said to the people on the phone. I assume you told them what you had already diagnosed. You told them the truth: I was miscarrying. 

It still hurts to say. I still have a hard time saying the word out loud. “Pregnancy loss,” “Spontaneous abortion,” “Miscarriage,” none of the words feel right. None of them feel like they accurately describe what happened to us that night. 

They put me on a stretcher, and that’s when it became real. I was crying, holding your hand so tight I thought I’d cut off blood supply. My other hand was on my torso, and I was begging whatever Gods are above to feel a kick. Just one little kick, or shift, or movement.

I didn’t. 

You stayed strong for me. You always were so good under pressure. You told the EMT every detail of my health history, while I was a blubbering mess. You called Hotch. You called Emily. You called my dad. You kept it together. You did everything right. God, Spencer, even from that very first day when I paid you to do my paperwork, you always did everything right. You’re the good one. You put nothing but good karma out into the world, so why do you keep getting bad karma back?

It’s ridiculous really, because we did do everything right. I took my prenatals and only drank water and green smoothies and I ate sweet potatoes and legumes and kale chips. I resisted the urge to eat nothing but Baja Blasts and Big Macs. I’m honestly angry. I’m angry because you and I, two good people, don’t get to have a baby, but some of these unsubs we encountered do? What kind of logic is that? What kind of world allows that to happen? What kind of God? A really shitty one, that’s who. 

Eventually they literally peeled you off of me in the ER. They had to make sure I wasn’t getting an infection, and that I had—God I can’t say it. They had to see if they needed to help me through it, if you know what I mean. They did. I had to get a d&c. 

I spent most of the time sobbing at the nurses. They all just held my hands and smoothed my hair. I begged for you, but they said no. I argued with them. I said I needed you there next to me. I didn’t want them to hold my hands and smooth my hair, I wanted you. But they insisted that the room had to stay clean. Eventually I was all cried out and they put me under. 

When I woke up this unicorn was next to me, staring me in the face and letting me know our friends were there. They knew. They had my back. This stuffed thing would help me face the bad that was coming. It would protect me. 

It was about eight. You pulled your chair up next to me, your hand in mine, head on my bed. I felt like shit. That’s the only way to put it. Anesthesia makes me nauseous as is, couple that with the night I had? I felt awful, and I felt it everywhere. 

When I woke up, you stirred too. Your eye bags were deep and dark, you still had on pajamas with some unknown fluids on them, and your hair was a wreck. 

I ran my hands through it, a force of habit, “Hi.”

“Hey,” you croaked. 

Our eyes met, and we both just fell apart. Tears spilled over so easily. We were two broken hearts in one hospital room. 

You crawled into the bed with me, making sure to be gentle and not hurt me, “Is this real life?” 

“Yeah, Love. I’m afraid it is,” you whispered into my hair. 

“I-It doesn’t feel like real life.”

You sighed, and shifted so we were both sitting upright, your arm around my shoulder, “I know. I wish it wasn’t.”

“W-What happened? What did I do? I th-thought I did everything right?”

You kissed my tears on my cheeks, “You did. You couldn’t have done anything to stop this. It was a chromosomal abnormality, trisomy sixteen.”

“What does that m-mean?”

“It means she had three copies of chromosome sixteen, which makes proteins in the body. She never would’ve—“

“Stop,” I said, not harshly or mean, just a sad moan, “I don’t want to know.” I took three shaky, deep breaths, trying to calm myself down, “I-I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, there’s nothing we could’ve done. We’ll get through this, together, I promise.”

“I promise,” I said, and you kissed my temple, arms wrapped around me tightly, as if you could physically hold me together as I fell apart. You held me like that for a while, before we both fell asleep again in that teeny tiny hospital bed.

The unicorn wasn’t the one who protected me that night, it was you. You protected me more than I ever gave you credit for. I wish I could’ve stayed strong for you, the way you stayed strong for me. Thank you for that, Spencer. I mean it.”

Spencer got up from bed and felt lightheaded. Realizing he hadn’t eaten yet, he grabbed a mess of junk from the fridge and sat on the kitchen floor up against the dishwasher. The metal of the appliance was cold against his back, the ground below him was hard. It just felt right. 

He did keep his calm the whole time. He never cracked, not until the end when he cried with you. He spoke calmly and quietly when the team showed up. Garcia cried more than he did. Emily said she was on the next flight, ready and willing. Your dad didn’t say more than a few awkward and sad words. Morgan looked terrified. Hotch had his eyebrows knit together, as if with enough thinking, he could make the situation away. JJ stood silently, knowing the feeling, but not mentioning it. The only time he wavered was when Alex held him; the tears reached the surface but never spilled over. Everyone just circled around him, trying to protect him from the scariness that he’d face outside of their bubble. 

The nurse came up to him, telling him you were out and okay. It was a chromosomal abnormality, nothing could’ve prevented it. With some rest, you’d be okay physically, but mentally it would be a long road, for both of you. He nodded. The world felt like it was spinning. He couldn’t think straight. The walls seemed to move in around him, even as he stood still. 

“Reid, it’s mandatory. Four weeks. Minimum,” Hotch said, Spencer not hearing a word of it. 

“O-Okay. Fine, whatever. I just, I need to see her.” 

Derek reached out to stop him, “You know she isn’t going to be the same, kid.”

Spencer shook him off, “I know.”

But he didn’t know to what extent. He didn’t know that you’d still look pregnant, because your belly doesn’t automatically deflate. He didn’t know that your grieving process would be different from the way it was after Emily’s fake death. How naive of him to not realize that he’d grieve differently this time too. He thought he’d want to cry and talk and eat blueberry pancakes, just like last time. He didn’t realize that when a piece of you just suddenly stops being a piece of you, it’s jarring. It's the five stages of grief all at once and in the wrong order. It’s crying at a Pampers commercial and being angry when you see new moms. It’s people giving you soft looks of pity everyday. It’s lonely. It’s sad. It’s the worst heartbreak one can imagine. In short—it really fucking sucks. 

Spencer had no idea just how much it really fucking sucked. 

He saw you there, your skin drained of its warm color and tired, and stopped in his tracks. What would he say? What would he do? How would he approach you? How would he tell you that half of his heart just left his body? 

Rossi was the one who saw him stop at the threshold of your door. He saw Spencer pace back and forth, still in bloody pajamas. He saw Spencer stare at you, hands balled into fists like he was ready to fight the powers that be. 

He came up behind him, placing a kind hand on his shoulder, “Spencer, listen to me.”

Spencer didn’t react, he just kept staring at you, “I had a son, with Caroline. He died the same day he was born. I know what this feels like, Kid. I do. Trust me, it’ll get easier. I promise, but only if the two of you lean on each other.”

Spencer nodded dumbly, still not really processing anything around him, but with a nudge from Rossi he entered your room. He found his way to the bedside chair. 

“Hey, Y/N, I know you can’t hear me. The anesthesia hasn’t worn off yet. I just want to—no need to tell you that I love you. I’m not mad at you. I’m heartbroken, but here for you. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Remember how fast that narrative changed, Spence? 

We got home from the hospital that night and I grabbed a tub of ice cream. I figured losing the baby counted as ‘one of those days’. I thought we would eat in silence and it would make it all okay, like every other day. 

When I pulled it out, you scratched your head, “Not tonight. I’m tired.”

I nodded, feeling heavy and sore and weak, “Okay, see you upstairs?” 

You nodded again, and I put the tub away. I figured you were going to talk to the moon for a while, and I was going to let you. 

I fell asleep almost immediately, you never joining me. 

I got up and you were on the couch, making some lame excuse of how you were reading and must have fallen asleep there by accident.

“You okay today?” I asked you. 

You shrugged, “We won’t be okay for a lot of days.”

I knew you were right. It was a stupid question to even ask. I nodded. 

“How do you feel?”

“Sore, weak, empty. Like I need to sleep more.”

You tucked my hair behind my ear, and kissed my cheek. 

“I love you,” I said, and you responded with, “Love you too, I need to shower.”

Now there is a distinct difference between ‘love you’ and ‘I love you.’ Losing the ‘I’ loses the intimacy. It removes yourself from the statement. You removed yourself from that statement, and from me. 

That first day we talked a little. We mostly cried and you watched me sleep. But then suddenly it was like you didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to share a bed. You didn’t even want to look at me. You didn’t want to be in that place. I don’t blame you, Spencer, I don’t. I didn’t want to be there either.

I understand why you blamed me. We needed to blame someone, because no way could life be that cruel to a person. I blamed myself for the loss for a while too. No matter how many times people said “it’s not your fault” it still felt like my fault. I still feel like it’s my fault, like maybe I could’ve done something to prevent this. It doesn’t matter how many support groups or therapists tell me I can’t blame anyone. How can I believe that when the person who means the most to me in this world feels like it I’m the only person to blame?”

He sighed. He never wanted to blame you, but some part of him did anyway. It was easier that way. If he blamed you, he wouldn’t have to blame himself like he always did. But, sometimes there is no one to blame but life itself. 

“Emily showed up that next day. She came in, in all her black bangs glory and held me. She had ice cream with me. She let me cry on her shoulders until I couldn’t anymore. She watched cheesy tv with me and distracted me with stories of her varied lovers in London. She supported me the way only a best friend could, the way I wish you did. Then she had to leave; London calls. And Derek took her place. He would come by when he could, usually with takeout that I couldn’t stomach. If he couldn’t come by, he’d always text or call. He always checked in, which I appreciated, but every moment with them was a moment spent wishing I was with you. 

You. For the first week or so, I saw you everyday. We even went to the beach, but when we came home? I tried to talk but we usually didn’t. More accurately, I spoke, and you stared at me. Then you started coming less and less and returning fewer and fewer of my calls. At the end, I think I saw you maybe once every other day, just for you to come and grab clean clothes or paperwork. God, everyone did your job except for you because you were too busy doing your real job. The job Hotch told you to take a few weeks off from. The job that I actually did take a few weeks off from, because my body was in disrepair. 

It’s not fair to sit here and tell you that you didn’t cater to my every grieving need correctly. It’s not fair for me to tell you how to grieve either. I respect what you did, Spence. I respect that you poured yourself into work. I know it isn’t fair that I wish you spent half that energy on us. But you know what actually isn’t fair? The way I’d tell people “we lost her,” but you’d say “Y/N lost her.” You know what wasn’t fair? The fact that you ran away from me and hid away in your apartment, doing God knows what with God knows who, after we promised to lean on each other, to heal together. You refused to do it. I wanted to. I tried to. I reached out. I called. I texted. 

But, I’m getting ahead of myself now. You still have three letters to go.”

Spencer glanced over at the box. It was nearly empty, just three stray items and three stray envelopes staring at him. He remembered the minute he set foot in that place, he felt the same way he did before he entered your hospital room. Frozen. Fear. Trepidation. 

Everything looked foreign. The walls that were once a saturated blue color looked grayer. The mug on the counter didn’t look like it was his. The pictures on the walls were of foreign people from a foreign land. The bed didn’t look like his bed. He felt like he was living on a movie set, where everything was a prop and everyone was a fake. 

He tried to stay. He went into that first night with the intentions of laying next to you in bed, watching tv, rubbing your back, and giving you water to make up for the amount of tears you shed. He really, honestly, tried, but the first thing he saw when he opened the front door was that picture of the two of you from Rossi’s house, holding up the onesie. Then he made his way into the kitchen, where the ultrasounds were pinned to the fridge with smiley face magnets. Then he went upstairs and passed the nursery. 

It had barely been started; all you’d done was paint it a soft, sage green. 

“This color is called ‘Soothing Sage’,” You said, handing Spencer a roller, “I sure hope this soothes her, because if she’s as active outside as she is inside, we have a problem.” 

“It will soothe her. That’s why I love green,” He said, grabbing the roller and starting to paint, as you sat on the floor trying to untangle Garcia’s homemade jungle animal mobile. 

“I thought you liked purple.”

He smiled, “ I do, but green brings balance and harmony. From a color psychology perspective, it is the great balancer of the heart and the emotions, creating equilibrium in the body. And from a color symbolism perspective, green is the color of growth, spring, renewal and rebirth.”

You laughed, “My favorite color is teal. What’s the color psychology for that?”

“Teal is a blend of blue and green, so naturally it combines both blue's tranquility and stability with green's balance and harmony.”

“I like it, I like it, how about orange? What does that mean?”

“Orange? Well, it’s bright and brings feelings of excitement, enthusiasm, and warmth—“ He cut himself off, turning from his almost done wall to find you eating more chips, “Stop distracting me!”

You put your hands up in surrender, “You’re too easy to distract Reid.”

He smiled, paint already all over him, as you spent the rest of the afternoon talking about what rocker you should buy and where the other painting Garcia made should hang. 

When he passed the room, the walls a pretty green, mobile in the corner over a few stray Ikea boxes, he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t act like everything in that place didn’t make him want to scream into an abyss. He couldn’t play the dutiful boyfriend. He couldn’t walk around and not feel haunted. He was being haunted, not by the past, but by a future that should’ve been. 

He tried to explain it to you, but you two were on different pages. Hell, you were reading two different books that were in completely different languages. Communicating became impossible, and if he’s being honest with himself, he was kind of happy that it did. It made it easier in the moment, but worse in the long run. 

“I miss us. I miss you. I miss her. I know we never met her but I could feel her. She was strong, definitely a soccer player. Maybe she would’ve had our recessive athletic genes. She was part of me, and I loved her from the first time I threw up. I could tell she loved you. She moved whenever you spoke to me. She loved to rustle and shift when you laid on my lap and whispered to her. She was a daddy’s girl. That’s what you deserved. I’m sorry my body couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry that I couldn’t even do that right. I’m sorry couldn’t be what you wanted or what you needed, especially when you were all I ever wanted or needed. I don’t know how many more ways to show you that I’m sorry.

You left me the day we lost her Spence, I know you did. I lost you and her in one fell swoop. How do I cope with that?”

Spencer put the letter down, cradling the unicorn in his hands. He didn’t need you to apologize anymore. You’d done enough of that, so did he. He stopped being angry and bitter and spiteful the second you told him to go. You yelled at him to finish packing his bags and get out, since that’s clearly what he wanted.

That wasn’t what he wanted. He was just lost. He was confused. He felt like nothing had a purpose anymore. He understood what Gideon said in the letter he left him all those years ago. He questioned everything he thought he ever knew. He wanted to view it as a lesson, something he could learn from, but the hole in his heart wouldn’t let him.

He had every intention of coming back to you when he was ready, but when he finally was, you shut the door. He lost himself the moment he lost her, and that made him lose you too. How’s he supposed to cope with that?

Part 13!

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Taglist: @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1 @mellifluouswildbluebells @rottenearly @sammypotato67 @blushingwueen @peaxhyjaes @justanotherfangurlz @juniorgman187 @mbowles23-blog @blameitonthenight21​ @goldentournesol​ @rainsong01​ @thelifeofadumbbitch​ @swimmingfishwobblersludge @youre-a-wallflower-charlie​

[blastyboisbitch]

Thinking Out Loud || Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

It’s been a while since I’ve written any one shots...be gentle with me ; ^ ; Edit: updated 10/5 after a beta read ~

------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ouch - !”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N!”

For what felt like the hundredth time that night, Izuku apologized, bowing his head low as you sat down on a nearby couch with a sigh to nurse bruised toes hidden beneath your school slippers. “It’s alright. Can we take a break?”

“Yeah, alright…I should watch that video again…” Embarrassed, the verdant haired student mumbled as he drew away to grab a water bottle from the table nearby, his phone already in hand. 

You two had been at it for a couple of hours now with no improvement – on either end. Izuku had clearly stated, even while offering to help you, that he didn’t have any experience. With no other offers at the time (besides Mineta, who was quickly silenced by Sero and Denki), the two of you had hoped that his enthusiasm would make up for the lack of experience. 

Hope seemed futile, however. At least according to your aching feet.

You sat back, stretching your legs out in front of you as you took a long drink from the water you had procured. It was late in the evening and the dorms were quiet as you two sat in the silence, green curtains drawn over the arched picture windows to the darkness of the outdoors. 

“It’s getting late and I know we’ve got class early...but can we give it one more shot?” Izuku might have been even more determined than you were, or maybe at this point it was just that he was just stubborn. “I think I’ve got it now.” Your classmate held up his phone as a ‘waltzing for idiots’ video flashed on the screen, and you nearly choked on your water.

“Alright. Once more and then we’ll call it a night.” Trying to act appreciative, you just barely stifled a wince when you stood to join him.

Hesitantly, Izuku’s scarred right hand gently tucked itself just below your left shoulder blade, and the left found its place cupping your right hand while partially extended from your bodies. His palms weren’t sweaty, thankfully, but their clamminess was not exactly the most pleasant.

“At least it wasn’t Mineta.”

Even stranger was the fact that not once while he was holding you had he made eye contact through the entire ordeal. Every time you looked to try and catch his gaze, his wide green eyes were consistently focusing on where his feet were. Izuku was determined to do things exactly as it was shown in his video – and it was killing your feet.

Everything seemed to line up perfectly while the two of you were still, and even into his first step forward with his left foot and your first step back with your right this time. But after that, everything fell apart. Into the second step and partial turn, Izuku’s right heel caught your ankle and effectively stopped his rotation, causing the both of you to trip as you moved to swing toward him.

For all the times you didn’t end up sitting on the floor, it was the last one that did you both in. Izuku released his hold on your torso and hand on the way down in an unsuccessful attempt to prevent you from falling with him. You couldn’t help the exhausted groan that slid past your lips, pinching the bridge of your nose with your free hand. Your classmate was quick to untangle his legs once he realized what happened – again – and once more he apologized profusely, obviously upset over the blunder.

“Maybe Mineta wouldn’t have two left feet…”

“What the hell are you extras doing?” 

You shook yourself of the idea of even allowing the other student near you, just in time for your attention to be drawn to the doorway. Fresh from pro-hero training it appeared, Katsuki casually leaned against the door frame with his bag draped over his shoulder. How long had he been there?

“K-Kaachan!” Izuku stuttered, shocked by the sudden appearance of his ‘friend’. On a typical day, it wasn’t uncommon for the blonde to already be sleeping within the confines of his dorm room. “W-we were just…Y/N asked for help -”

“Dancing. Ballroom waltz, to be specific.” You finished the sentence that Izuku was caught up in, brushing a hand through your hair as you watched him carefully.

Carmine colored eyes darted from Izuku – who’s hand was at the back of his neck as he stood, mumbling to himself - to you. You felt the heat rise in your cheeks when his gaze refused to falter, and you looked away first, closing your eyes and leaning forward onto one knee. You knew it was bad, but bad enough for Katsuki to call it out? 

“Tch. You call that a waltz?” You looked back once more to him at the call out, preparing for what would probably become an argument. But as you did, you could have sworn a shadow of curiosity and questioning graced sharp features, before being masked once more with nonchalance and indifference.

“My oldest brother is marrying his partner in a few weeks…” You didn’t owe Katsuki an explanation. Yes, he was your classmate. But in your mutual - and final - year at UA after you transferred into the hero course, you’d had very few actual interactions with the explosive man. He was always too busy, for everything and everyone except himself, it seemed. At least you might look like less of an idiot if you tried.

“Our mom died a few years back. She can’t be there, but I can, and I wanted to make sure he could still have his “mother”-son dance…” You’d planned the surprise with the help of your soon to be brother-in-law, right down to the last detail - the slideshow of old videos playing in the background, the song, everything - except for how you were going to learn how to do a simple waltz in a matter of weeks.

Your line of sight dropped back down to your slippers, and you smiled. One way or another, you’d figure it out. Right? And worst case scenario, you’d make a fool of yourself in front of your family who already knew you well enough that it didn’t matter. It looked like that was going to be the case.

Nearby, Izuku fisted his phone in one hand, stepping forward to attempt to apologize – but the sound of a school bag, heavy with god-only-knew-what, hitting the hardwood floor caught you both off-guard.

You looked back up to find Katsuki rolling up his long sleeves even as he glared your direction. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” You raised an eyebrow and stared incredulously as he stepped up to you, extending a hand to help you up from the floor. 

“Tch…dumbass, do you want to learn, or not?!” Your feet were sore. You were exhausted, not just with the failure, but just with life in general. And here was Katsuki-fucking-Bakugou – one of the big three of UA - offering to teach you how to waltz.

You took his hand willingly, a heady combination of burnt sugar and spice filling your senses as he pulled you up in one swift movement. His touch was firmer than Izuku’s, an absolute confidence that the other didn’t have. You had little time to protest as your face was suddenly only inches away from his broad chest, warm hands taking the same positions that his classmate’s had been before - beneath your left shoulder blade and cupping your right hand extended from your bodies. Involuntarily, your free hand caught his shoulder, and the muscle beneath his shirt tensed with the sudden contact.

“That shitty nerd wouldn’t know the first thing about how to dance if his life depended on it,” Katsuki remarked, flashing an annoyed glance over to Izuku standing nearby and fumbling with his phone at his friend’s remarks. He didn’t contest what they all knew, an embarrassed smile crossing his face. But at least he’d tried, right?

“It’s ok Izuku. Thank you for trying to help!” At the very least, you were appreciative that he had tried. That was what mattered in the long run, right? Taking it as his cue to leave, the green-haired male removed himself from the room, and left the two of you to your devices.

For all of the piss and vinegar that seemed to be the outer layer that was Katsuki Bakugou, the coming weeks proved that there was more to him than met the eye. Harsh words and sweaty, long practice sessions into the dead of the night - some even outside in the cool, damp grass when the dorm was occupied - gave way to unexpectedly gentle touches as he first taught you how to follow, and then to lead – a secret kept between the two of you, because what man in their right mind would allow a woman to lead.

It’d come out fairly early into your sessions that not only had his mother had him take music lessons as a child, but also dance lessons. And if there was one thing Katsuki was good at, it was excelling at everything he did. He would be the best, regardless of the task, because that was who he was. Ballroom waltz? It was the easiest thing in the book, as he berated you for not knowing even the basic steps. With a partner who knew what they were doing however, it was much easier for you to get past those first two steps and move on to the more complicated ones.

At first, you thought you felt nervous around him. Your hands shook with every touch; your voice, trembling against every order you mentally gave yourself not to. And to say your stomach was in knots wasn’t even close to describing how excessively anxious you were. But it swiftly morphed into something more behind your back - stolen smiles behind closed doors, laughing together in private over the stupidest things that didn’t involve dancing, and praise just when you needed it most. You soon found that you couldn’t help that every heartbeat felt like an explosion when you were with him. An unkind metaphor, you found yourself thinking.

The day of your brother’s wedding came quicker than anticipated. You were a bundle of nerves once more, dolled up for the occasion - but despite that, you were more than confident when you finally walked out onto that ballroom floor. You’d only had a few chances to dance with your brother in the few days leading up, passing it off as just wanting to practice for his first dance with his partner. Every lie told was worth it in the end when the videos that came on in the background left the poor groom a sobbing mess. ‘Awe’s’ and applause filled the room as you led your brother a bit slower than your normal pace with Katsuki, unable to hide the smile that graced your face as you caught sight of your plus-one for the evening with the biggest shit-eating-grin, right up in front of the crowd – observing his hard work paying off.

By the time it was said and done, you and your sibling were both a sobbing mess, the woman smiling down from the enlarged video on the white screen nearly your spitting image. It was all surreal, in a sense. After receiving long hugs from both your sibling and his partner, you left them to do their thing, joining your own ‘partner’ off to the side. You couldn’t stop smiling. And it was contagious.

“See. You did fine, idiot.” Katsuki didn’t often smile in public, but with his hands in his pockets, he praised you in his own way, glancing back out to your family and then bringing his attention back to you.

“I couldn’t have done it without you, ‘Tsukii.” Using a napkin, you carefully dabbed at your under eyes, hoping to remove the last traces of any smudged makeup. “You know, you’d make a good teacher for UA, someday.”

In the dim lighting it was hard to tell, but you swore that there was a pink-tinge to his cheeks as he brushed your compliment aside.

“Tch...stop talking nonsense, dumbass.” You couldn’t help but grin at him while tucking the napkin in your hand into a pocket to dispose of later, before boldly slipping a hand into his pocket to lace your fingers through his. He flinched but didn’t push you away – instead, holding the hand you’d given him a bit tighter as his gaze focused away from the situation at hand.

After a moment of standing there together, watching as others began celebrating the new union, you squeezed Katsuki’s hand gently. “We should show them how it’s done.” It wasn’t a question, or a request. It was a statement.

One that he eagerly took you up on as you pulled him out onto the dance floor.

[ddaehyeon]

– ♡; UNGODLY HOUR ; PARK SERIM 

pairing: park serim + reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.7k

summary: an unexpected midnight call caused by the thoughts that clouded serim’s mind. 

if all the equations written on your notes were a sea, you’d probably be already drowning in it. the library was silent, only the flipping of the pages mingled with the sound of the pen running by the paper was heard. soft music was enclosed in your ears through the earphones, preventing you from dozing off.

with narrowed eyes, you stared at your homework for a moment. a sigh of defeat leaving your lips right after. staring won’t solve an equation. but you wish it could. you desperately wish it could.

the chair beside you was pulled, a student occupying it right after. he placed his own books on the table and when your eyes met, he gave you a wave. you unplugged the earphones from your ears, a brow raised to the male. “oh, serim? you’ll be studying?”

a soft chuckle was heard from serim which made a smile linger on his countenance as he spoke. “yes, i’ve decided to become a better student.”

“ah, i see. hope you’ll not change your decision after two minutes,” you remarked, returning your focus to your notes as if you were not spacing out earlier before serim arrived.

“thank you so much for the encouragement,” serim said, matching the mockery you provided in your words. “i’ll work hard.”

instead of giving a verbal response, a beam came to your lips. he should be used by now with all the remarks you throw him.

a close friend—it was the title serim had been embracing for the past years. with the two of you meeting on the first day of classes during your freshman year. it went on and on for the next years and now that both of you were in your junior year, close to being inseparable. nearly all classes you enlisted covered the same time slots on his own schedule, making him your classmate for almost all the subjects aside from economics.

another male came to your sight, snapping you out of your thoughts. he pulled the chair adjacent to yours, a small smile visible on his brim. “you’re y/n, right?”

your nod was his cue to take the seat in front of you, his own books settled in front of your messily piled things.

“allen ma, a junior as well. you signed up for integral calculus tutoring sessions, right? i’ll be your tutor.”

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as soon as the classes ended, you closed your notebook. everyone else was shuffling out of the room. you took your time to stare at the whiteboard which was filled with lines and symbols written by your professor. pressing your eyes closed, you leaned back to your chair. a mental note of which should be done this evening was made.

“planning to sleep here?” serim asked, placing his things back to his bag before swinging it to his shoulder.

letting go of a sigh, you opened your eyes to look at him. huffing, you eventually stood to arrange your things. “this is not a desirable location to sleep. i'd rather go back to my dorm than sleep here.”

as you were talking the next lecturer entered the room, serim gave the professor a bow which was a gesture that you followed. getting your bag to your shoulder, you nodded your head to the direction of the door. both of you must leave before the next block comes inside for their class.

faint streaks coming from the setting sun came to touch your skin. the hallway was close to being empty, only a few students were around either rushing to go to their next class or leisurely making their way out of the building.

serim and you walked in silence, both drained from the lessons today schedule had brought. the semester was barely halfway the calendar and each passing day, the topics taught were getting harder and harder.

“there’s a new café a few blocks away from the main gate, want to check it?” serim attempted to start a conversation.

nibbling your bottom lip, you tried to make a quick mental browse of the things you have to do. then it hit you. “ah, i need to meet allen.” you pulled your phone out of your pocket to check the time. there was a tutoring session scheduled after the class. with the abysmal grades, you were getting on the past activities, this could be your only redemption. “tutoring sessions.”

a pout w became visible on the lips of your friend, displeased of your answer. “even a quick drop won’t do?”

“i'm afraid i can’t. the tutoring session will start in roughly 15 minutes.” you gave the other an apologetic smile which caused him to drop his shoulders. it was no use of persuading you over this matter anyway. he can ask you to check it with him in other days. “guess i have to go now? have a good evening serim.”

“you too, y/n.”

all serim could do was wave at you as you began to walk your way to the library where the tutoring session would occur.

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“serim, what did he just said?” poking the other with a pen, you tried to catch his attention. the lecture was going rather too fast for your likings; your notebook page which was supposed to be filled with the terminologies had blank spaces in between.

“i don’t know.” serim answered.

earlier this day, he’d been acting a little off. he could have that child-like streak on him where he would just cling to you and be sulky whenever he gets less attention, it was acceptable. the same way he got used to the remarks you’d throw, you also got used to serim’s natural clinginess. but today sure be a different one. the morning greeting he gave was a swift one, holding no actual enthusiasm. and every time you’d ask him what his problem is, he would wave you off.

“let me see your notes then.” quite demanding, you scooted closer to him, your hand reaching for his notebook to check what was written there. it was the only way left for you to get the missed parts from the dictation.

serim snickered at your actions, dragging the notebook away from you as he tried so hard to focus on jotting down the words that endlessly flow out of your professor’s lips. “go ask your tutor about it.”

“go and eat cheeseballs later, your mood is quite unbelievable.” rolling your eyes, you moved away from him. a minimum effort exerted to write the words you could catch up on. every now and then, you would look at the male with a sharp gaze.

maybe serim woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

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it was already midnight, that was the only thing you were sure of.

you were not even deep in your sleep when the vibrations coming from your phone which was lazily placed under the comforts of your pillow woke you up.

"so give me a valid explanation as to why you're calling me at an ungodly hour of..." you paused for a moment, trying to catch a glimpse of the time at the wall clock which was barely illuminated. giving up, you looked at your phone instead. the caller's name displayed on the screen, the duration of call running. "... an ungodly hour of 2am." you placed your phone back to your ears. "oh god, serim if this-"

"i have something to tell you." the seriousness laced in his tone made your stomach flip, nervousness came rushing to your body.

"ooooh~" a chuckle was heard from you. it was an attempt to brighten up the mood of the other. "romantic. are you about to profess your undying love for me?"

“yes, i am.”

it was the small thinking that ended up to massive thoughts that hindered him to come to a peaceful evening. branching out each of the sensations he felt when you ended up not giving him much time as you would usually do, serim began asking why. why was he so upset when he usually won’t get upset with it? when you spend your time with your other circles, he was always okay with it. when you decline to go out with him for a detour whenever your classes end, he was alright with it. but with another person placed in the picture, he found himself succumbing to a certain frustration—something that wants to get more of your attention.

“wait, what?”  it was the only reply you managed to utter. his words awakening your senses. seriously?

a soft frustrated growl was heard from the other line—more like a whine serim would do whenever he’s embarrassed by something. “sorry for the way i acted today… i was just so lost in my thoughts.” even he wasn’t in front of you, you could already see the regretful pout decorating his lips. “acting with feelings rather than thinking… i'm really sorry, y/n.” a short pause was done by the other, giving him a moment to collect his thoughts and come up with proper words. “i can’t sleep and maybe this is because i dived in the sea of my thoughts, but i can’t find any other reason to explain why i got upset of you declining and spending less time with me. do you like your tutor?”

the question pulled a peal of laughter from your lips. silly how he thought you’d end up having such fondness for a guy you barely interact with.

“come on, it’s taking too much courage for me to word this out.” another whine was heard from him. “don’t laugh at me!”

“sorry, sorry. it’s just i was surprised by your question,” you replied, in between faint chuckles. you breathed in, trying to stop yourself from laughing. “well, i don’t. please, i just met him.”

serim sighed in relief. “that’s all i need to know. now, i can sleep,” he uttered, his tone merrier.

“i thought you’re going to conf—”

once again, he interrupted you. his words probably will be the one leaving you awake for the next few hours. “i like you, y/n.”

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