#also: new zealand mentioned meme!

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads / storygraph

Ink Blood Sister Scribe

adult low fantasy

follows two sisters who grew up guarding a collection of magical and dangerous books, keeping them safe from a shadowy organisation

one is on the run across the world, staying one step ahead of the magic that killed her mother, but after deciding to stay longer at the Antarctic research base with her girlfriend quickly discovers that even there is not far enough away from the people tracking her

and the other is at home, the sole protector of the books, desperate to find out their secrets

plus a young man who’s lived his life within the Library used for his talent of writing the books

Latine & Jewish MCs, bi MCs

[ignitesthestxrs]

there's something about the way people talk about john gaius (incl the way the author writes him) that is like. so absent of any connection to te ao māori that it's really discomforting. like even in posts that acknowledge him as not being white, they still talk about him like a white, american leftist guy in a way that makes it clear people just AREN'T perceiving him as a māori man from aotearoa.

and it's just really serves to hammer home how powerful and pervasive whiteness and american hegemony is. because TLT is probably the single most Kiwi series in years to explode on the global stage, and all the things i find fraught about it as a pākehā woman reading a series by a pākehā author are illegible to a greater fandom of americans discoursing about whether or not memes are a valid way of portraying queer love.

idk the part of my brain that lights up every time i see a capital Z printed somewhere because of the New Zealand Mentioned??? instinct will always be proud of these books and muir. but i find myself caught in this midpoint of excitement and validation over my culture finding a place on the global stage, frustration at how kiwi humour and means of conveying emotion is misinterpreted or declared facile by an international audience, frustrated also by how that international audience runs the characters in this book through a filter of american whiteness before it bothers to interpret them, and ESPECIALLY frustrated by how muir has done a pretty middling job of portraying te ao māori and the māoriness of her characters, but tht conversation doesn't circulate in the same way* because a big part of the audience doesn't even realise the conversation is there to be had.

which is not to say that muir has done a huge glaring racism that non-kiwis haven't noticed or anything, but rather that there are very definitely things that she has done well, things that she has done poorly, things that she didn't think about in the first book that she has tacked on or expanded upon in the later books, that are all worthy of discussion and critique that can't happen when the popular posts that float past my dash are about how this indigenous man is 'guy who won't shut up about having gone to oxford'

*to be clear here, i'm not saying these conversations have never happened, just that in terms of like, ambient posts that float round my very dykey dash, the discussions and meta that circulate on this the lesbian social media, are overwhelmingly stripped of any connection to aotearoa in general, let alone te ao māori in specific. and because of the nature of american internet hegemony this just,,,isn't noticed, because how does a fish know it's in the ocean u know? i have seen discussions along these lines come up, and it's there if i specifically go looking for it, but it's not present in the bulk of tlt content that has its own circulatory life and i jut find that grim and a part of why the fandom is difficult to engage with.

[lady-harrowhark]

Hello! I saw you mention that Pyrrha remembers pre-resurrection, and I totally missed that!! Do you have any theories as to why?

I have a few thoughts!

Just for context - because I didn't catch that on my first read either until I started going back through! - there are a few instances that seem to suggest Pyrrha remembers at least some of her life pre-Resurrection. Off the top of my head, I know there's one point where she refers to G1deon as G--, just like John does. Nona also says that Pyrrha calls her "Hairy Maclary", which is referring to a series of children's books by a New Zealand author. Here's a link to a picture and some info about Hairy Maclary... I can definitely understand why Pyrrha would call Nona that lol. This one's super interesting to me in that it's such a fantastic example of the way Tamsyn uses memes and references so skillfully! In the previous books, most of the references are fairly organic in that they're things that could conceivably be, you know, just things the characters say; the readers catch it (if they also know the reference! otherwise they're fairly unobtrusive) but the characters themselves aren't intentionally making a reference. This would be the things like "You can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor" and "a hunger that only thumbs could satisfy," etc. The exception, though, is John. The "none Houses with left grief" particularly is SO fun from an exposition perspective (but if I start on that one I'll never stop), and then of course we have Commander Wake Me Up Inside. The implication here being that John remembers these specific things and is intentionally making those references within the context of the story. Pulling that same expository trick with Pyrrha sets them up as both remembering... at least to some degree. The hints that we get from Pyrrha are such that it's pretty unclear to what extent she remembers, leaving a lot of room for juicy speculation :)

I initially touched on it over on this post where I rambled about names, memory, and the Eightfold Word, but I'm copying over the Pyrrha-specific paragraph so that you don't have to dig for it:

When assisting with Harrow’s lobotomy, Ianthe tells her, “If you push your brain too hard, any surgery could simply heal over.” And in NtN, Pyrrha tells Palamedes, “You should be draining and replacing her fucking brain fluid... When Gideon and I designed that trial, I used to crack his skull and sieve it myself, just as a control variable... The only other people I put through that damn trial were Mercy and Cris, because only Cris didn’t mind being trepanned on the regular.” I don’t know exactly where the threshold is for pushing one’s brain too hard, but I suspect frequently draining and replacing one’s brain fluid is in that ballpark. Which is to say, it’s very possible that Mercy and Pyrrha (and potentially others) could have healed over from anything John had done to their brains.

Also, I don't know why this didn't occur to me as I was writing up that other post, but when Pyrrha's telling Palamedes about how dangerous their uhhhhh living arrangements are, and how they're risking brain damage... Pyrrha and G1deon were operating under somewhat similar circumstances for thousands of years. Cumulatively, it's possible that G1deon's brain was racking up damage that eventually eroded away whatever John had done. Another thought is that maybe the fact that G1deon died and Pyrrha didn't is at play here.

It could very well be less dramatic than that, though. We don't know much about how Lyctorhood impacts the brain, although to be completely fair, we also can't say for certain how a typical human brain would function after ten thousand years of runtime either. Our brains are constantly wiring new neural pathways and rewiring and revising old ones. After thousands of years, might we be reaching a Ship of Theseus situation with regard to the neural circuitry impacting pre-Res memories? Which is a fancy way of saying, "Maybe it wore off."

It could be all of the above, too. Assuming that Lyctor brains retain plasticity like we see in typical human brains (and I'm not letting myself think too hard on implications either way, because in sci-fi/fantasy make-believe land, neuroscience can be whatever you want it to be), we'd probably see that effect happening with the other Lyctors at roughly the same rate, but at least as far as we can tell (and that wording is intentional because I'm not taking anything off the table with this series), the others don't seem to remember. So that might be contributing, but not sufficient on its own. BUT perhaps ten thousand years of rewiring PLUS ten thousand years of cohabitation PLUS however long of being "trepanned on the regular" PLUS G1deon dying might override John's meddling.

We've still got so many open questions here regardless of what the specific mechanisms are. Like, I'd love to know when Pyrrha started to remember exactly. And did G1deon remember anything, then? It seems like he was Straight Up Not Having a Good Time so if he did remember, he might not have been relying on those memories much. Whatever's going on, I'm sure it's just as bonkers as the rest of the series!

[ferallester]

okay I no longer have the energy to finish this, pls enjoy a third of pinof react #3 and my rereaction

oh wow immediate smack with literally zebras and conclussy— DAN

when they said dapwe pinof my reaction was ‘nobody’s called it that’ and then I think someone did so

I fucking love their conversation about the algorithm

their outfits do in fact suck in pinof 7

nose pressure <3

“Spock sideburns” FUCK OFFFFF YOU’RE RIGHT BUT NOW I WANT TO KNOW YOUR TREK OPINIONS (I have already said this but I reiterate it anyway)

“oi!!” *Phil laughs in the background*

I’ve paused on a very Dan derp of his I’m way too tired for this

Phil: *attempts to explain himself and gives up* (dork)

what the fuck is going on in the bottom of Google

grass hair babey!!!!

Dan’s hair evolution apparently boils down to side parting straight to side parting curly

what even were those boxers Phil

piss mention

Phil fails at the singing but not entirely the Scottish accent, nice

fuck the stress mushroom!!!! I’ve never seen how truly gross it was until now tho ewwwww

they make fun of them moving to Dan’s room and then their only reaction to it is that the lighting sucks, okay

wish they’d reacted to the king of the universe moment

Dan fails maths, and worse, I believed him in that second because I was sleepy and on my way to work LMAO

god bless the John Cena memes

phulge 🙄

rubber chicken scream my beloved!!!!

LADDERS YEAHHHHHHHHHH

SOUND BARRIER I keep referencing it in my fics help, it’s up there alongside ‘stay still’ ‘stencil’ from the bloopers

the fucking heart hole— 😭

the nacho fic makes me incredibly uncomfortable

Phil shut the FUCK UP we KNOW you’re touching (affectionate)

I’m trying to read their reactions to Phil saying exhaust pipe sexily and currently I’m just getting gay disgust

Phil’s Grandma’s Lore is fucking iconic

hand thing

boys shut the fuck up

I cannot fucking believe their window was open

I also can’t believe Dan actually trusted Phil enough to do a trust fall

old merch talk!!!!

sneeze fetish 😭

love that the sneeze fetish site is not only in New Zealand, but that it’s a government site

pinof 8!! my first pinof!! their haircuts are fucking awful

ADORE the outfits tho

they say that haircuts make them look startled— yeah that tracks

fucking cowards, Bork and Boof are both heckin valid

did we even fucking realise that they were probably trying to get that ad bc I distinctly remember we were just excited to get so much content

Phil can’t spell <3

weird soft launch

pokescream

YAS CAT!!!! YAS CAT!!!!!!!!!!

violence, “we touch very early in this one” shut the FUCK UP

tiny dan on Dan’s thumb is so fucking funny

C H O M P

WHY DIDNT THEY REACT TO THE INHALE A KOALA QUESTION AAAAAAUGH

Dan is INCREDIBLY violent as a lawnmower

can’t believe Phil said yaoi

Dan meanwhile is just a horny mess who likes Wang™️ (and can I blame him? nah)

the boys, upon hating the mannequin challenge: fuck it we sleuthing

I am too tired to figure out what film posters are hanging up

the weird water edit leading into the boys talking about how they used to edit together 🥺

also fuck I’m only a third through and it’s a quarter past one in the morning, I’m doing the rest of this tomorrow

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

Today I watched Lord of the Rings for the First time, here are my live reactions;

Do note, I already knew so many crucial details and also I watched the last movie first for some reason. Anyways suffices to say I enjoyed it! My mom has wanted me to watch these movies with her for a long time so I’m glad I can finally make her happy in that way. Here’s the reaction;

I wonder how Sauron gets his ring on every morning

OH HIS FINGERS

Oh Sauron’s just, defeated

Oh no he’s got the ring

Oh he’s dead that’s rough

Golem!

Hes so gross

OH GOD HIS EYES

Ring just has a mind in its own

Bilbo! I sorta know you!

Shire! So pretty! Hi Elijah Wood. GANDALF.

Sassy Frodo! Aw they’re friends.

Oh this place is so delightful.

I love them.

This is so pleasant.

New Zealand

“Alright then keep your secrets”

OH SMAUG MENTIONED

Fireworks! How pleasant!

Such pretty music.

THE HOUSE.

Friends!!

The chandelier!

Tell Frodo what? Oh he’s planning to do the ring thing instead.

That’s a huge pipe.

Pippin and Mary!

Oh no dragon fireworks.

Oh no the ring. Bilbo no. “Why shouldn’t I keep it.”

OH GOD GANDALF SPOOKY.

“I’m trying to help you.”

Good job dude! He gave up the ring! “And he lived happily ever after.”

Oh bye Gandalf.

Oh he’s just here at the castle now! Ooh he’s reading. I love all these set pieces. Oh god “it is precious to me.”

OH NO. WHY ARE SCARY PEOPLE HERE.

“One ring to rule them all.”

“Sauron was destroyed!”

Ring whispers: “No I’m not!”

OHNO GOLLUM KNOWS.

“Don’t TEMPT ME FRODO”

Sam: I DIDNT HEAR EVERYTHING I JUST HEARD EVERYTHING

I know not to trust Saruman

“I have seen it.”

“When did Saruman the wise abandon reason for madness”

They’re gonna bust a hip fighting

SAM THANK YOU

I like the gate guy is polite! Has a little hole for hobbits and doesn’t question their shit!

Aragorn!

Ah the shrek scene!

NOOOOO THE GATE GUY THE BEST CHARACTER NOOO

OH GOD WHAT THE WHAT STABBING??

Ring Wraiths.. spooky..

Pippin looked the other way from the area the apple smacked him.

NOOO THE TREES.

Gandalf is on the roof?? Uh oh.

Seeing the trees fall I think of that one thing Tolkien said about a land without life and it’s the like barren wastelands of war.

Aragorn gave his friends good sized swords.

“They’re stupid” -Mom

“They’re fools. They aren’t stupid for loving and missing home. They’re fools for thinking it applies here.” -Me

-my mom and I’s argument

FUCK. ARAGORN COME BACK YOU LEFT THEM UNSUPERVISED AND NOW THE CHORUS IS HERE.

HES BACK.

The way they show how it feels to wear the ring is so triply and horrifying.

OH GOD THATS HOW THE ORCS ARE BORN WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT. That’s so fucking sick I’m mortified.

Elf?? Home girl your discord light mode is on. She’s pretty.

Oh oh they have they have a thing?

She’s so rad. Ooo cheek cut.

Love these horse actors! Good job you beautiful horses!

Oh my god is she a water bender she is oh my god oh my god she’s so cool. Very frozen 2.

PFJFJRJEED THE MEME

Gandalf?? Hi! You’re okay! And here?? Poor Frodo has had a wild 24 hours.

“I was delayed.” HARD CUT TO HIM GETTING SMACKED.

Bird!

“So you have chosen death”

Aw Sam! Gosh this place is so pretty. BILBO??? HE GOT SO OLD- old guy.

“I’m ready to go home!” Four movies to be seen.

Hey the rest of the guys!

“Destroy it! Cast it into the fire! Do it!”

“No.”

HEY I KNOW THAT LINE.

The one true king.

Boromir!

“Hey.” “What’s up.”

I like Aragorn a lot.

“Gandalf I’m uncomfortable.”

Boromir no this is how you die.

Legolas don’t out him.

“ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO MORODOR”

Gimli don’t talk to your husband like that.

Poor Frodo. Ah the “you have my..”  Aw team friendship!

Ah glow stick sword! OH GOD BILBO. Oh poor guy.

Oh no the birds. hey the snow! bOROMIR GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE RING.

How’d they get off the mountain? Eh whatever. Gandalf is really doing every password.

Bye bill!

There’s a creature in the black lagoon. Oh poor Gimli. He was really excited for thHHHIIIISSSTTESNRACLES.

“This is no mine this is a tomb.” GOD.

Gollum!

Gandalf I love you lots.

Oh wow this setting. Unfortunately I know what must appear in here and also what occurs. Poor Gimli.

“We cannot get out.”

“They have a cave troll.” Oh joy. Frodo’s sword is slightly glowing! I think.

OH GOD THERES SO MANY GOBLINS. I love the make up. OH SHIT HERE COMES THE BALROG.

“RUN.”

“NOT THE BEARD” BAHAH

Here it fucking comes his whah a cool design. What gorgeous affects.

Oh she’s beautiful

“All will fall” glances to Boromir

“Hope remains” she looks to the hobbits

OH GOD SPOOKY

Boromir…

Hello lady..? Are we.. chill..?? Mirror?? I’m slightly scared. I love your voice though.

Okay so that freaky stuff was the Hobbit thank you mom. Oh she’s talking about.. oh deeear.. DONT GIVE IT- Oh this kinda funny. The effects. Oh dear. Hi queen you okay? Good job lady!

Even the smallest person can change the world…

Oh no here it comes, Boromir … this is tragedy.

The change in his voice from resentful and deranged to fearful and worried.

“I would have gone with you to the end.” GUH…. The tenderness in his tone.

BOROMIR NO NO THE ARROW

NO I KNEW IT WOULD AND YET…

ARAGORN

HOLY FUCK THE HEAD

BOROMIR….

“My king.”

I’m so sad. My eyes are so dry though. <- Has dry eye syndrome

That was really good.

[kurthorton-moving]

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐓    𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍    of    𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑    𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓:    𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟖.    heavily    headcanon    based,    practically    an    oc.    written    by    quin,    25,    he / they,    nz.    HEAVILY    TRIGGERING    CONTENT.    frequent    mentions    of    abuse,    gore,    manipulation    and    eating    disorders. beta editor only.

info    doc.    headcanons.    prompts.    heavily    affiliated    with    @insidi0sum,    @hcllowcd,    @pear1ridged,    @ripvirgin.

also    found    on:    @pear1ridge,    @jasnstilnski, @narrativedoomed.

rules    below    the    cut.

i'm    quin,    25,    he / they,    from    new    zealand.    i    will    be    using    the    BETA    EDITOR    as    this    blog    does    not    have    the    legacy    editor    option.

THERE    WILL    BE    SMUT    ON    THIS    BLOG. A LOT OF IT.    kurt's    an    adult,    it    will    happen. in fact, smut is a heavily prominent topic here.    it'll    be    tagged    as    NSFT    CW

SEND    ME    LOTS    OF    MEMES.    i    love    getting    ask    memes,    i    love    having    them    as    a    way    to    bounce    ideas    around.    spam    me    with    them,    hit    ask    limit,    don't    hold    yourself    back.    send    me    old    ones    that    i    reblogged    ages    ago,    send    me    ones    i    didn't    even    reblog,    send    me    smut    ones    even    if    we've    never    written    before.    just    throw    them    at    me    and    we'll    see    what    sticks.    also,    importantly,    FEEL    FREE    TO    CONTINUE    ANY    AND    ALL    MEMES    AS    THREADS.    i    thrive    on    it,    i    treat    them    as    starters,    reply    to    5000    of    them    and    i    will    still    encourage    more.

there    will    be    HEAVILY    TRIGGERING    content    here.    body    horror,    gore,    blood,    etc    will    all    be    heavily    heavily    prominent.

no    h*rry    p*tter    muses,    no    j*hnny    d*pp    fcs,    no    transphobic    or    racist    muses    or    fcs.

[stubbornjerk]

Why people keep telling you to block them if you support Pholo (Penumbra Edition)

Or: why jitterbug-juno really deactivated

I love when people categorize this as fandom wank. Really makes you feel like you’re putting the onus on either side of the conversation.

I’m making this post not because I want to stir up spoiled milk, but because I want it out there that this wasn’t a purity culture war.

The TL;DR version of this is that fans of color tried to tell Rab (prev. jitterbug-juno) not to post her Omegaverse (or A/B/O) fic. And instead of taking the L, she posted it on Ao3 and deactivated.

But, if you want context, well, buckle in. CW for mentions of racism and transphobia.

What did jitterbug-juno do?

Before I get into this I do want it out there that I will not be linking Rab’s fic, but I will show you this screenshot of the summary of it.

[ID: It is a screenshot of a fic, “As You Are” by Pholo.

Summary: Peter can hide his scent glands behind cologne; makeup; concealer pads. He can quash his heats with suppressants. He can divert the urge to nest and fawn.

But he can’t feign another gender’s subvocals. He lacks the anatomical capacity. Mag taught him to distract from his silence with fast, flashy words. For longer heists he relies on social convention. Traumatic mutism is uncommon, but remarked upon by enough war vets and soap operas to be widely recognized. Peter’s marks assume he’s been harmed long before they assume he’s a closeted omega. It would take quite the backwater brute to ask why he doesn’t murmur or chuff or growl.

On the 'Blanche there are the usual furtive glances. Juno makes clear to Peter that should he ever want “to talk about what happened,” he’ll be there to listen. The gesture annoys Peter more than comforts him.

‘Nothing happened,’ he wants to scream. ‘There’s nothing to talk about!’

There are 14 comments, 85 kudos, and 11 bookmarks /end]

You decide what you’re doing with that information, but honestly, I’d rather you don’t give it anymore engagement than it deserves.

There was a period earlier this June (yes, even though it’s only the 10th, at time of writing) when Rab was posting snippets of the aforementioned fic on her blog and tagging it appropriately, putting it in the attention of pretty much the entire Penumbra fandom.

What’s Omegaverse or a/b/o and why is everyone so against Rab for it

If you know what Omegaverse is, I don’t have to tell you why it’s controversial. If you don’t know what Omegaverse is, well, Fanlore said it best:

a kink trope wherein some or all people have defined biological roles based on a hierarchical system, with the terms originating from animal behaviour research. There may be werewolf, knotting, or other animalistic elements involved, or the characters may be otherwise purely human.

The term is generally written with slashes (a/b/o). Many fans, particularly ones from Australia and New Zealand, are uncomfortable seeing the term without slashes because it is also an Australian slur for aboriginal people.

I won’t get into the history or the heaps and tons of other discourses (mostly about fictional male pregnancy, homophobia, transphobia, sexual assault, etc.)  that go on within that. We’re here specifically on Rab v. Penumbra fans of color and we’re staying there.

Anyone who’s been in Penumbra enough to realize that everyone draws the Junoverse characters in a certain way knows that a) Juno is black, b) Nureyev is Asian, and c) as a fan you have to be aware of what you’re subjecting or saying about either of them because of the political repercussions that come with it.

And despite that, Rab proceeded to write Peter Nureyev, a gender nonconforming gay Asian male character that is widely headcanon’d as trans, into a fic using a kink trope that relies heavily on animal behavior.

Unlike most people new to fandom, Rab is aware of what Omegaverse is and is very much white. She is (and if she isn’t, should be) aware of the racist undertones that writing him in would get.

I couldn’t get a screenshot of what snippets Rab was sending out into the ether, seeing as a majority of my friends would rather not have seen any at all (I have all of the usual tags blocked so I wouldn’t have seen it either way), but needless to say, Rab got attention for it. Both positive and negative.

Anne (@hopeless-eccentric) even posted a satirical fic, in the odds that Rab was just writing this thing to be “the first” to write Omegaverse fic in the Penumbra tags.

But, I’m assuming more than one fan of color came into Rab’s inbox and messaged her about it, but someone I know (who would like to remain anonymous) was gracious enough to take a screenshot before he sent his in and let me use it for this post:

[ID: A message to jitterbug-juno about to be sent by a sender whose name is censored with a black bar. His messages says:

“as someone who is a person of color i think the nature of the fic you are writing right now is extremely racist and attributing animal characteristics to lgbt people of color is not at all appropriate, especially when you are someone who is white. i have to ask you to not publish this fic and to reflect as to why you would want to write this in the first place, these tropes are extremely harmful and”

There are 33 characters left to write into the message. /end]

I can’t speak for whoever else sent asks about the fic she was writing. If anyone was actually not-so-gentle with her, well, minorities don’t really owe it to you to be gentle about what they can tell is bigotry-tinged behavior.

But, the message was clear: this is different from your garden variety, lily white straight male character m/m kink fantasy. This is an actual queer Asian character that a lot of queer Asian people feel attached do. Do not post the fic.

What happened next: the beginning of the end

The next morning, I woke up to most of my friends being frustrated by this post on Rab’s account:

[ID: Dated 5 June, a post by jitterbug-juno:

“Gonna leave the fandom for a while. Wishing you all well.”

The tags say the following: not sure if i’ll be back, thank you so much to everybody who’s read my fics, and who’s sent asks or engaged with my art or any of that, you’re amazing and I’m sending love /end]

That... was not what fans of color wanted, but it was definitely an action they took. Some celebrated, as they were very much wary of Rab for having caused much of the same category of drama in fandoms like Voltron: Legendary Defenders and Warrior Cats. This also meant that she was probably not going to post the fic either.

Some, myself included, were relatively pissed, as they’d wanted even just the measly bit of accountability. An apology or an acknowledgement of having been called out in private and that they’ll take time to consider why. But instead we got Rab leaving in the face of fans of color telling her not to post her Omegaverse fic.

Well. The next day...

[ID: Dated 6 June. A post by jitterbug-juno titled, “Well... that was short-lived”

“I gave the situation a lot of thought yesterday. The reaction to my omegaverse previews made me figure I should leave the fandom. It seemed like the safest option.

But you know what?

Hell.

I don’t want to leave. The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space.

Thank you to everyone who sent messages yesterday. I shouldn’t have made that post about leaving. It was really reactionary. I’m okay and I appreciate your support so much.

(bolded on the post) To those who are angry and uncomfortable with me: Please block me. If you’re going to talk about this fic on Tumblr and Twitter– and this may sound odd– PLEASE NAME ME as Jitterbug-juno or Pholo. Don’t vague me. That way people who don’t want to see this discourse can add my name to their block lists.“ /end]

That certainly was short-lived, she wasn’t kidding.

This got a lot of outrage. Again, the fic is up on Ao3 and she has not taken it down. A lot of POC were pissed and I didn’t see a single fan of color actively support what she was doing, at least, not in my friend group. Everyone started making those posts to block them if you liked the fic or Rab’s content in general, in accordance to what Rab wanted.

Perseus (@mraudiodrama) noticed/pointed out that Rab deleted the part where she said she spoke to several POC about releasing her fic, as well as the part where she said she refused to be chased out of the fandom. This was an incredibly pointed detail to edit out, according to some.

[ID: A screenshot of jitterbug-juno's last post taken 11:00PM. Much of it is the same except the following bolded words are removed: "The fic discusses the tropes of omegaverse and I spoke to several POC on Twitter, and I’m going to post it with plenty of tags so people can avoid it if they wish. I’m not going to be chased out of this space." /end]

That same day, Rab deleted her blog. I actually caught this one on tape, believe it or not.

[ID: A screen recording taken at 12:01 PM of someone scrolling down jitterbug-juno's account. The posts and asks about Omegaverse and her post about leaving and coming back are conspicuously absent. /end]

Initially, I thought she deleted all mentions of it. I wanted to see firsthand if the rumors about her deleting portions of it were true. If she added things where she was saying that she wanted to write it because she was autistic and wanted Nureyev to be autistic too, regardless of the numerous QPOC telling her not to do it.

Instead, it turned out, she deleted her blog.

And now, we're here. The fic is still up. Her blog is down. Rab's public Twitter account @nataclinn is quiet about this. Her @cushfuddled Twitter account is on private after her run-in with the Warrior Cats fandom, according to a friend. And her Tumblr @cushfuddled account has nothing but memes.

Again, I didn't make this post to stir up drama. I wasn't even obsessively making this post as a call-out because she isn't in the fandom anymore. I just want it out there that this isn't a purity culture thing that got out of hand in a fandom as niche as Penumbra. This was a case of someone being called out and failing to acknowledge it before running away. And I want all that out of the way before I say:

If you are on Rab's side of this debacle, I, a queer person of color, want nothing to do with you either.

[glamaphonic]

For OFMD meme: 4, 9, 14!

What’s your favorite inanimate object?

The goddamn black scarf/cravat thing that Ed and Stede switch in ep 4 and that Ed keeps and wears FOREVERMORE even after he Krakens up. Because UGH ROMANCE.

Favorite anachronism?

Ed and Stede just having Taika and Rhys's normal fucking speaking voices w/ unaltered New Zealand accents T B Q H. And just like dialogue, in general? Stuff like Lucius using the term "beard," Stede's "autumn vibe," when Ed tells Chauncey he's "freaking [them] all out." And ofc the restaurant convo with the GIFT SHOP and "gonna leave a bad review!"

Honorable mention: Ed's fucking purple top that he got at Rainbow and Fang's Hot Topic belt as a headband.

Favorite AU idea?

GF has me obsessed with Little Mermaid Ed at this time. But I am a connoiseur of AUs so I have also been enoying all the tattoo artist, ren faire, roller derby, teachers, contractors, whatever else ones too lol.

[kiwi-tai]

Do you have any more Tai HC’s? I loved the ones you posted, I miss Tai there’s like barely any more content with him these days 😭

80 years later… I’m so sorry anon for keeping this in my drafts for so long. But you’re right there isn’t Tai content but I am here now with some ✨

took ballet and dance classes to help improve his rugby training

he actually really liked it and is a great dancer

i can’t remember if he talked about siblings before but I think he definitely has at least two

of course he’s the oldest he just has oldest sibling energy

Tai is def seems like he’s close with his family and I think he has a good relationship with both his siblings

He definitely misses them when he’s away from New Zealand but they have a family group chat with them and their dad

I know you didn’t ask about Tai’s dad but he sends bad cheesy memes

If they really made Tai laugh he’d show them to his partner

Okay back to Tai...

Absent minded touches, Tai just can’t help but always have his hands on his partner

Resting a hand on their thigh while driving

Wrapping an arm around their shoulder or waist

Or just sitting around on the Villa couches tracing shapes on their forearm

Also this man is always warm like a furnace idk if a mentioned this is my other head canon post

Regardless this makes for the ultimate cuddler for naps

Which Tai is always down for naps because it means he gets to hold you

And he’ll hum to help you fall asleep and run his fingers over your hair

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[i-am-just-a-kiddo]

thanks for tagging me @vishcount, as always 💕

rules: answer 30 questions and tag however many blogs you want!

name: just kiddo on here 

gender: blob

star sign: leo

height: 164 cm

time: 15:26 o’clock as i am answering this question

birthday: 28th july 

favorite bands: okay here we go, it’s gonna be a huge list:

Epik High, BTS, The Smiths, My Chemical Romance, Son Lux, MUSE, The Cure, SHINee, QUEEN, HYUKOH, Placebo, Nell, Karpe Diem, Daughter, Low Roar, Arcade Fire, Japanese Breakfast, The Smashing Pumpkins, Brockhampton, Lucidvox

favorite solo artists: Code Kunst, Heize, Phum Viphurit, Vaundy, Meryem Aboulouafa, joji, keshi, Frank Ocean, Tamino, Gazelle, Nas, Enny Owl, Yseult, Suran and any other solo projects from above mentioned groups 

last movie: Over The Moon (2020), which was very sweet and unique, i had fun

last show: Alice In Borderland which i binged last weekend; though i have been watching the weekly updates for Druck, Manner Of Death, Follow My Sunshine and Color Rush. Also i rewatched the last episode of Strangers From Hell on tuesday.

when did i create this blog: summer of 2013

what i post: my fandoms, art, history stuff, aesthetics, occasional memes and just anything that comes up and i like? politics sometimes too

last thing i googled: worm on a string (my sister did not know what that was so i had to show her fghjkl) 

other blogs: a kpop blog, a writing blog that i don’t use anymore, another inspiration blog that is dead and recently i started a history blog but i have done nothing with it

do i get asks: not really no

why i chose my url: i was i 14-15, obsessed with the song I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan and was going through rough times, so here i am. 

following: 492

followers: 466

instruments: phew, nothing tbh. i once tried the violin when i was little for 1,5 years but i gave it up. i also went to a course for the djembé, which was actually a lot of fun? but i never owned one so i just stopped at some point. other than that we had to learn the harmonica in school and i went to the music-branch in middleschool which was very silly because i am not talented in music and i still don’t know the musical scale fghjk. so i was just singing in the choir and now i know that i can’t live without music, but i don’t want to make it myself.

what i am wearing: black turtle neck under a woolen black pullover, high waisted blue-green plait skirt that reaches my shins, black stockings

dream job(s): author, researcher at some uni, working in uni in general? might even be professor for this

dream trip: phew. the whole world? definitely the whole of asia from west to east from north to south; specific mentions is Gyeongju in S. Korea, Kyoto in Japan,  Kathmandu in Nepal, Istanbul in Turkey  and I really really want to travel the Transsibirian Railway? I also really want to travel through Mongolia and Siberia. New Zealand and Australia for sure, that has been my dream for ages. Cairo in Egypt, Addis Abeba in Ethiopia. Canada and Alaska. the list goes on and on and on

favorite foods: and kind of salad, pasta, sushi, pizza, ratatouille, korean and chinese food (probably not authentic but it’s all i know), pad thai, my grandma’s cooking

nationality: irrelevant but ig european 

favorite song: the tree songs i currently listen to a lot is chlorine by twenty one pilots, the entierty of the strangers from hell soundtrack but especially room no. 303 by the vane, and everything by enny owl, but especially ribcaged.

last book i read: boy. i read only uni stuff. but i read The Clouds Float North - The Complete Poems of Yu Xuanji, translated by David Young and Jiann I. Lin. I can recommend it dearly, it’s a bilingual edition and her poems are so beautiful. 

Am gonna count  Recasting Antiquity: Ancient Bronzes and Ritual Hermeneutics in the Song Dynasty by Jeffrey Moser, eventhough it’s a dissertation. 

top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: 1.) Harry Potter, because that’s what I grew up with and I would still choose from all the worlds. It always feels like home. 2.) Avatar: The Last Airbender - another thing I grew up with and I would adore. I wouldn’t need to have any adventures, i wish i could just bend elements and chill my life. 3.) Eragon (Inheritance Cycle). This one is just goals. Dragons?! Dragons. Please gimme.

tagging: everyone i am tagging is of course not obligated but am just putting here who i love getting to know better: @the-cloud-whisperer, @sassyassassy, @cortue, @intyalote, @isabellaofparma

[night-triumphantt]

I was tagged by by @not-sewell and @wayhavensmasonsbitch and also @lxdy-starfury sjsjsjsj :D

rules: answer 30 questions and tag blogs you are contractually obligated to know better.

(ima tag a few ppl sorry if u’ve already done it, also feel free to ignore, also I just KNOW I’m missing ppl I’m so very sorry :P) @masonsfangs @bobbymckenzie @queerbrujas @agentnatesewell @raleighcarrera @specialistagent-morgan @lilas

Name/nickname: Judie, I don’t really have a nickname but y’all can use N-T if u want, or my name, up to u

Gender: Female (she/her pronouns :P)

Star sign: Aries sun sign and Libra Moon and Rising, I assume thats where the diplomacy comes from XD

Height: *Sigh* 5’ 1”

Time: 2:55 pm

Birthday: March 25!

Favorite bands: IIII don’t feel like I listen to that many bands actually, tho did u know technically Bruno Mars is a band artist, Bruno Mars and the Hooligans XD.

Favorite solo artists: I have, pretty mainstream tastes tbh lolll, (at least thats what my sister tells me, but I maintain that I just don’t have the time to go out and LOOk for new music) aAAAnnyways, I can never choose a favorite anything so Im gonna list a few that I always come back to: The Weeknd, Billy Eilish, Victoria Monet, Ariana Grande,Taylor Swift, Stromae, Logic, Halsey, Ed Sheeran, & Bruno Mars ofc but I just mentioned him XD.

Song stuck in my head: Long Story Short by Taylor Swift

Last movie: Soul :D

Last show: I’ve been rewatching ATLA

When did you create this blog? I made this sideblog, innnnn November-ish of 2019, but wasn’t active til about January of 2020, a whole year guys :D, (I have had a Tumblr for many years at this point tho, I’m not quite sure when I first joined though)

What do i post? Art, mostly fanart for TWC, or choices, very rarely my own OC’s, and then I also RB art, writing, and just, fandom memes loll

Last thing i googled: Industrial piercing after care, I am highly considering one

Do i get asks? Yes sometimes, and I cherish each and every one and I am sorry I am so bad at responding sometimes

Why i chose my url: Originally I just made this so I could find posts abt choices that I liked easier, cuzzzz I don’t have a tagging system, so it was choicesstuff, but then I decided I wanted to post art so I changed it to Night-Triumphantt bc of one of my favorite quotes from the ‘A Court of Thorns and Roses’ series

Average hours of sleep: Ugh, that depends, I always stay up far too late but I also sleep in hella late if I am able, I’m gonna say a solid 6 average (its that delayed circadian rhythm babeyyyyy)

Lucky number: 7 :D

Instruments: I can play piano, and viola, (Tho its been a while) and I am currently trying to learn guitar as I have ALWAYS wanted to learn it. I just wanna be able to play some sweet sweet riffs man! (I also reaaaaallly want to learn how to play the bass guitar but I told myself I wont drop the money on it unless I learn to actually play guitar this year XDD)

What i’m wearing: A very comfy sweater from an Ariana Grande Concert, and black work pants cuz I am at work loll.

Dream job: If I could do anything w/o care I would love to be an animator, but like, I know the actual job isn’t really for me, so I’m goin into medicine, very different I know but I do really love the medical field.

Dream trip: I wanna go to New Zealand someday, its so beautiful!!

last book i read: Children of Blood and Bone, HIGHLY recommend

Favorite food: Sushi, or Pizza

Nationality: Lebanese :D (also American IG lol)

Favorite song: I can never choose a favorite anything, I do absolutely adore Drunk by Ed Sheeran tho, that one stays in the top rotation always

Top three fictional universes: hmmmmmm, ATLA for sure but Im actually blanking on any other universes lolll

[theheroheart]

New Years Meme 2020

@arqueete:  “This survey is a meme that has been passed around among my friends since back in LJ days. If you want to join in, please consider yourself tagged.”

I used to journal more, and stuff like this is really nice to look back on, because I have terrible memory for life stuff or the passage of time. So here, for future me.

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? Uhhhh wear a mask to the grocery store? This was not a groundbreaking year for new experiences.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? I didn't have any. I don't make any. I mean, sometimes I make them in the vague "I want to focus on this in the future", but I'll already have forgotten by March, like I don't really PLAN my life in such a way. I just have goals that aren't tied to specific points in time. You get there when you get there, and you choose what you want to prioritise.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No, but my brother got married, which was very exciting because he's 40 and has never had a girlfriend who he considered important enough for me to meet. (And my sister-in-law is delightful.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? My (half-)brother's dad died a few weeks ago (cancer), but I didn't really know him, so I wouldn't say he was close to me. I did spend almost a week at my brother's place to be there for him though. And honestly, I kept thinking about how my mom's dead this year, because in a way I'm glad we didn't have to deal with this year together. She already died from respitory failure, had poor impulse control and sense of safety, and I would've been CONSTANTLY worried about her.

5. What countries did you visit? I was gonna go to Malaysia (for my brother's wedding celebration), but that didn't happen. (Flatmates were gonna go to Japan.) So. Yeah. Home country all the way.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? A driving force to move forward in my life?

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I don't think... that there is one specific day? I guess the US election? Despite me being Norwegian, it's still fairly historic.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? /stares blankly at the wall I did do some nice art pieces? I coped? I managed to have good times and make friends despite everything else.

9. What was your biggest failure? I dropped out of two classes specifically because I couldn't do remote learning and self-structured study (BECAUSE ADHD YO), even though it wasn't even that HARD subjects, which was very frustrating. It hasn't set my study plan back, thankfully, but it still felt like a waste.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Only mental. And thankfully not as bad as it could've been, but hell yeah there was some strong anxiety in there.

11. What was the best thing you bought? I've bought some great video games this year. Animal Crossing brought 250 hours of fun, Hades brought 100 hours so far. Good investments.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? // 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Both of these are related to pandemic behavior so I think you can guess.

14. Where did most of your money go? Entertainment? Also, god, I spent so much money on theatre tickets that are now just vouchers for non-specific future performances. I'll get my money's worth eventually, but right now it's hundres of dollars worth just sitting in vouchers. OH, and, digital D&D books.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I had tickets for Chess. Several tickets, for multiple performances. STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THIS PRODUCTION THOUGH. But they're still doing it so hopefully it will still happen.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? Not sure I have any specific ones, actually. No iconic music.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: Last year I was feeling very accomplished. I was challenging myself, had befriended lots of classmates, had gotten through some stuff I was quite proud of managing. This year has been... not that. But on the other hand, I'm not as exhausted from school stuff, and I'm ready to actually go places and try to do things, as opposed to just wanting a month long nap.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? General life maintainance stuff. Not just school work, but like, focus more on money sensibility and try to get on disability, go to the dentist, work with my doctor more... All of that got a little bit just... postponed indefinitely.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Uh, can't think of any notable negative behaviour. It's mostly stuff I didn't do. Like, I had some bad anxiety in the spring, but honestly I think I did an appropriate amount of worrying.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Had my first christmas with my flatmates (whom I love very much), and had my dad over as well. It was very lovely, and socially way less draining than usual.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? lmao I'm aromantic

23. How many one-night stands? lmao I'm asexual

24. What was your favorite TV program? There were a few this year! Good Omens, The Queen's Gambit, Julie and the Phantoms, Avenue 5. There were more I watched and enjoyed, but I think those stand out the most. Also, does Critical Role count? OH, The Baby Sitters Club! A lot of good stuff.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Nah. I don't hate a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read? Don't think I read anything notable this year. Don't read a lot of books, I prefer to consume stories in other media.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Julie and the Phantoms. Not because the music is astounding or anything, but it was very feel-good and fun. Don't think I had a lot of new music.

28. What did you want and get? D&D campaigns? Have gotten really invested in one of them in particular, it's delightful.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmm. The only one that stands out was The Old Guard. I watch more series than films. 2 hours isn't long enough for me to get properly invested AND satisfied.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned 33 and I don't know that I did anything special. I think I just chilled? Flatmates made me a nice breakfast!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Having the energy for essays/exams, probably. Just feeling like I actually had some accomplishments. OR LIKE. If Norway did like New Zealand and just wiped the virus out.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? Pyjamas. Occasionally 'apocalypse chic'.

34. What kept you sane? My flatmates and my dad. Reliable social interaction with people I care about.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Matthew McNulty, which applies to every single year. But this year I started both a gallery website and a discord server for him, so it was a particularly good year for him.  (Special mention to Paul Spera, who I finally talked to face-to-face, through Zoom, but still.) Also I'm using 'fancy' platonically.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Ha aha hah all of them, oh god. BLM, probably, though. That was when I still had the energy to get invested.

37. Who did you miss? So many people. Like, come on. I don't know that it was even specific people so much just... being in a group? Like, my choir gang?

38. Who was the best new person you met? Met a guy I ended up playing a LOT of board games with. We haven't really talked in a few months now tho. And there's a friend I didn't MEET this year, but I really connected with, who's also now my DM, which was really nice.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: It's not necessarily new knowledge, but this year has really driven home the need for both community solidarity and governmental support/leadership.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I'm alone in my apartment, that means I can do anything / I'm not wearing pants (alone in my apartment - Brian David Gilbert)

Summary: It's been a conflicted year, a lot has felt like it's been on stand-still, but there's still been some good things in there.

[kurthorton-moving]

𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐓    𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐎𝐍    of    𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑    𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐓:    𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟖.    heavily    headcanon    based,    practically    an    oc.    written    by    quin,    24,    he / they,    nz.    other    blogs    include    rotturn,    werewo1f,    di1aurentis,    he11inquent,    dunba1pha.    HEAVILY    TRIGGERING    CONTENT.    frequent    mentions    of    abuse,    gore,    manipulation    and    eating    disorders. beta editor only.

info    doc.    headcanons.    prompts. heavily affiliated with @nickgoodc, @eldritchblcst, @hawkinsdetect.

rules    below    the    cut.

i'm    quin,    24,    he / they,    from    new    zealand.    i    am    also    found    on    rotturn, werewo1f, di1aurentis, he11inquent, dunba1pha.    i    will    be    using    the    BETA    EDITOR    as    this    blog    does    not    have    the    legacy    editor    option.

THERE    WILL    BE    SMUT    ON    THIS    BLOG. A LOT OF IT.    kurt's    an    adult,    it    will    happen. in fact, smut is a heavily prominent topic here.    it'll    be    tagged    as    NSFT    CW

SEND    ME    LOTS    OF    MEMES.    i    love    getting    ask    memes,    i    love    having    them    as    a    way    to    bounce    ideas    around.    spam    me    with    them,    hit    ask    limit,    don't    hold    yourself    back.    send    me    old    ones    that    i    reblogged    ages    ago,    send    me    ones    i    didn't    even    reblog,    send    me    smut    ones    even    if    we've    never    written    before.    just    throw    them    at    me    and    we'll    see    what    sticks.    also,    importantly,    FEEL    FREE    TO    CONTINUE    ANY    AND    ALL    MEMES    AS    THREADS.    i    thrive    on    it,    i    treat    them    as    starters,    reply    to    5000    of    them    and    i    will    still    encourage    more.

there    will    be    HEAVILY    TRIGGERING    content    here.    body    horror,    gore,    blood,    etc    will    all    be    heavily    heavily    prominent.

no    h*rry    p*tter    muses,    no    j*hnny    d*pp    fcs,    no    transphobic    or    racist    muses    or    fcs.

[carbunclesdream897]

Guidelines

Selective I Indie I OC I Multiverse I 18+

About the mun

Hi! ^~^

For pretense, thank you to everyone and anyone who takes the time to read the rules and guidelines of my blog. I go by a few names since I don’t usually like giving my actual name out to those who I don’t have mutual friendships with or just don’t know; mostly because, well I don’t actually like my real name. That being said, please feel free to call me Dreamer, Juno, Carbuncle, or any other nickname that you come up with. ^~^ My time zone is GMT+13 and I live in New Zealand. I am 25, female, my pronouns are she/her and when it comes to sexual orientation, proudly bisexual. I’m just here to have fun and enjoy roleplaying; although I am always open to making new friends, even if I am abysmal at it.

Anyway on to the topic at hand. 

Rules

This first rule is very important. Don’t be a douche. As I have said above, I am just here to roleplay and have fun, as I’m sure we all are. I am a very patient person; but due to personal reasons, I have very, very little tolerance or patience for douches, dickturds, or bitches outside of roleplay, and as such, they are not welcomed here. This also includes racism, sexism, homophobia, or just being a giant dick or bitch in general; and If you felt your cheeks clench or at the very least you already felt a tidbit of an annoyance then you are exempt from this blog as I’m probably talking to you. This goes for you anon’s as well, you know who you are. Just because I, at times, happen to fall for or have soft spots for jerks in anime and games and in the case of games the oily and narcissistic kind, just to name two;; I do not tolerate real-life jerks on my blog or in general.

The content on this blog may at times consist of NSFW topics of both sexual and violent natures; and because I don’t want Tumblr to come for my ass like the prude it can be sometimes; these types of posts will always be tagged and labeled accordingly, as well as given the ‘ read more ‘ setting. The tag ‘ Minors do not interact or read ‘ will also be included for minors; so if you are a minor and you see this tag on a post, then please abide by this rule. I don’t want my posts or blog being flagged or reported because some people can’t do something so easy. However, if you are not a minor but just don’t feel comfortable reading things like that, then please feel free to filter these so you can avoid reading them altogether. Just like the above-mentioned things, there will also likely be triggering subjects, like the posts that are NSFW in nature, these will all be labeled appropriately so potential discomfort or otherwise can be avoided through filtering. 

Please, under no circumstance, pressure me or spam me for a reply. I will always do my best to ensure that the activity on this blog is consistent, but there will be times when that activity will turn sporadic due to things that are going on away from this blog. These can range from stress due to personal reasons or just being overall busy with the other obligations that I have. If not for any of these reasons, then it will probably just be because I’m doing one of my other hobbies.

When it comes to talking in the IM’s or just talking outside of roleplaying, please feel free to drop me a message if you would like to talk, especially if it’s about plotting out or planning a roleplay with me, my muse, and your muse. ^~^ Asks, both IC and OOC are perfectly fine and welcomed as well. The only thing is, while I’m perfectly fine at carrying on a conversation, I am very bad at beginning conversations with people who I haven’t talked to before; as much as I have, and am trying to get better at it, because I know I’m not the only introvert out there. Because of this, it’ll always be very appreciated if you start a conversation with me, or if not just send me a meme/prompt from your muse towards mine. Once I grow comfortable talking to someone- there is no set amount of time that this happens since it just depends on how well I get along with a person- starting a conversation with that person will gradually get easier. 

This brings me to a point that I feel like I should mention, and that’s the point that I have a form of social anxiety and one that includes a bad habit of overthinking. It’s something that can come up suddenly and at the most annoying of times, like, say, when I want to ask someone if they would be interested in roleplaying with me; or starting a conversation with someone who I’m really interested in talking with; or just sending a message to someone when they haven’t responded yet because for some reason I think they’ll find me annoying and spammy. See how annoying that already sounds? Yeah. x_x It’s a giant pain in the butt to deal with. It is, however, one of the reasons why I genuinely appreciate those who put up with me and show me the kindness and patience they do and the friends that I’m fortunate enough to make.

I am very detailed and descriptive when it comes to roleplaying and this can lead me to write quite a bit, but it really just depends on how into the roleplay I get and how inspired I am. My range at the least is 15+ lines and the most are 25+ lines, sometimes a little bit more. My replies will always be formatted and paragraphed accordingly. After all, no one wants to read one massive wall of text. 

I accept both OC’s and canon character roleplayers as partners. 

As I mentioned above there will be potentially triggering and darker subjects mentioned here. The reason why I bring this up again is that I enjoy writing dark content as much as I do writing wholesome content, especially when it comes to shipping. After all, not every pairing/ship is full of sweetness and light. Such is the same in the case with my muse. 

I tend to stay away from pre-established relationships when it comes to the relationship between me and my partner’s muses. If it helps the story or starting point of the story along, those are perfectly fine, but I usually stay away from things like that because I feel if I do I’m forcing my roleplay partner down a path with their muse. The only other time I will use pre-established things of this nature is when it’s something me and my partner have discussed and established together.   

I’ll always use icons and formatting with my posts, just because I like how classy and professional it looks; but it really doesn’t matter to me if someone does or does not use icons themselves. It’s just aesthetics, and while using them is always a nice touch to any blog; what matters to me the most is the quality of content that someone puts out and into their roleplay replies and starters, as well as the characters they create. And grammar. Definitely grammar. 

When it comes to re-blogging things-whether it is a meme, quote or etc- if you find something along those lines on my blog and you want to reblog them, then please be my guest. I’ve never really cared much about the whole reblog karma thing, just...Please don’t use me as a meme source, that’s all I ask. I’m not a meme source.

Please don’t turn asks into threads without talking about it with me first. If you ask me first then that’s perfectly fine, but if you do it suddenly without asking or discussing it with me it will just put me on the spot.

DNI

If you use the terms silverette, bluenette, pinkette, etc in your roleplay replies or starters.

If you use tumblr as a begging platform.

[internethistoriananalysis]

Introduction

Who is the Internet Historian?

'Internet Historian’, who also goes by the pseudonym of ‘Dr. Harold’ is a New Zealand YouTuber currently residing in Australia according to “evidence found on his second channel” (Wikitubia, 2020). Harold (as he will be referred to henceforth for the sake of brevity) is most notable for being a documentarian of ‘internet history’. His first video entitled ‘GameStop’s Battle with Toads’ (Internet Historian, 2017) recounts the cult phenomenon of the 1991 ‘beat ‘em up’ platformer ‘Battletoads’ and a series of prank calls associated with the anonymous imageboard 4chan whereby posters to the site would ring up video game outlets and ask if they had copies of ‘Battletoads’ in stock, despite it being an antiquated release at the time, evoking varied responses from chagrin to cheek by workers at the stores.

His early videos saw quick an immediate success, owing to his unique style of production and concise format that place a clear emphasis on not wasting the viewers’ time as he realised that potential viewers have what is, in effect, an infinite content library at their disposal already (The Creator Generation, 2019). Pairing this with an unparalleled dedication to persistent production, where he would often put seventy to eighty hours of work in per week resulted in the amassing of a large following of over 2.6 million subscribers on his primary YouTube channel and a further 1.1 million on his second channel, ‘Internet Historian: Incognito Mode’, which combine for a total viewership of 377 million views.

Eponymous yet Anonymous

One of the most distinctive features of ‘Dr. Harold’ is that he is anonymous yet eponymous; there is a persona attached to the brand that is ‘Internet Historian’. A persona which constitutes more than just the name ‘Dr. Harold’, but a voice and face too.

The face of Harold’s persona is taken from a retired Hungarian electrical engineer named András Arató, who worked on the side as a model for the stock photo company Dreamstime. The images of Arató came to be known as ‘Hide the Pain Harold’ within online circles due to what was perceived as hidden pain behind his face (KnowYourMeme, 2014). The name ‘Harold’ also provided a name for Internet Historian’s persona.

In interviews, Harold himself notes that he has a distinctive voice that compliments his presentation style, and that he is frequently imagined as an older man, an illusion which is “shattered” once met in person (The Creator Generation, 2019). In the same interview Harold mentions that it was his intention from the get-go to establish a false persona or character to present his videos as he views anonymity as especially important.

Metamorphosis

It is undeniable that in the three and a half years since Harold released his first video on ‘Battletoads’ in 2017, that there has been a significant metamorphosis of not only his production quality, but also of his online persona. Here are a few of the ways in which his content and persona have evolved.

In Harold’s early uploads there is generally little editing outside of moving text and images with a narrative overlay. This is something that has developed as his skills have progressed. In an interview he gave, he stated that he didn’t wish to learn to use ‘Adobe: After Effects’ (a digital effects and compositing software), due to the steep learning curve, preferring to stick with the limitations of Premiere Pro (The Creator Generation, 2019). One might see this as being a handicap to allow further progression of his skills as an editor, but instead this has played into his hand in what has resulted in a unique and niche video aesthetic that emphasises 2D visual effects and animations with frequent stock-images inclusive of branded watermarks used for copyright protection.

Much of this innovation has been spurred on by the experimental content posted on his second channel, ‘Internet Historian: Incognito Mode’. This channel has allowed him to see what kind of content is enjoyed, without disengaging his core viewership.

As a trend, Harold’s videos have become longer and less frequent. This is likely due to him being able to get away with this as a larger content creator, without falling into the trap of algorithmic irrelevancy as there is a core viewership at his disposal who identify with the brand that is ‘Internet Historian’.

The aims of this blog

This blog aims to offer an academic analysis of Dr. Harold and how his video content and use of other social media platforms allows him to gain traction and expand upon his following within online spheres. 

In terms of the actual content that will be analysed; this will include Internet Historian’s video content across his three YouTube channels. His primary channel, ‘Internet Historian’; secondary channel called ‘Internet Historian: Incognito Mode’, and the VoD (video on demand) uploads taken from livestreams on Twitch.tv and uploaded to a tertiary channel; ‘Internet Historian: Live’. There will also be comments passed on his use of Twitter and any other VoD clips that are only available on his Twitch.tv channel.

I aim to parse this information through the main theoretical works relating to digital communications, social media and ideas of the self. I will be focusing firstly on Goffman’s theory of the presentation of the self (1956), and Habermas’ theory of the transformation of the public sphere (1989).

References

Goffman, E. (1956) The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life., Edinburgh: University of Edinburgh

Habermas, J. (1989)  The structural transformation of the public sphere : an inquiry into a category of bourgeois society. Cambridge: MIT Press

Internet Historian (2017) Gamestop’s Battle with Toads. [Online video] [Accessed on 13th December 2020] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYmVdzgfhCY

KnowYourMeme (2014) Hide the Pain Harold [Online] [Accessed on 13th December 2020] https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/hide-the-pain-harold

The Creator Generation (2019) The INTERNET HISTORIAN // YouTuber Interview [Online video] [Accessed on 13th December 2020] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi8k2KKcMEg

Wikitubia (2020) Internet Historian [Online] [Accessed on 13th December 2020] https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/Internet_Historian