#anakin shenanigans

[jedi-starbird]

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

[bibannana]

Rex *finishing a briefing with the 212th*: See you out there boys. *makes finger guns and winks before walking off*

Obi-wan *blinks*: What?

Cody *absolutely disgusted*: Why?

Fives *wheezing*: He did it! He actually did it!

Echo *being held up by Waxer and Boil*: Mission successful!!

Ahsoka *grins and high fives them both*: We've been teaching Rex some modern slang.

Obi-wan *slowly blinks*: I can see that.

Anakin *enters*: Greetings my fellow friends!

Cody *shaking his head*: Force, they got Skywalker too.

Fives *grins*: Nah, he's always been like that.

Taglist: @staycalmandhugaclone @soliloquy-of-nemo @nekotaetae @jiabae @sexy-rex

[sun-roach]

Obi-Wan: *watches the snowball fight between the 212th and the 501st.*

Cody: Don’t you want to join?

Obi-Wan: Oh no, no, my dear. That wouldn’t be really fair

Cody: *raises a brow * how come?

Obi-Wan: You and me against the 501st? They got no chance.

Cody: *laughs* That might be right, general

Obi-Wan: *smiles. * I sense a 'but'?

Cody: but… it would be more fun with- *he quickly turns around and spin kicks Rex (as soft as possible), who wanted to hit him with a giant pile of snow*

Rex: Argh, Codyyyy *fakes his pain *

Anakin: Captain down!

Ahsoka: Get them!

Cody: … So… you and me? *looks at Obi-Wan with a sighing smile*

Obi-Wan: *chuckles and prepares them some snowballs * Always

[deserthusbands]

obi-wan: must you always be so serious, cody?

cody: someone has to keep you in line, general. and it's certainly not going to be skywalker.

[ominouspuff]

bathtime

REQUESTS / BLOG EVENT

From my niece (off-tumblr) - Palette #4 - Anakin, Ahsoka - Bubbles, Slice of life

[padawansuggest]

CloneChat

Rex: GIYS I MIGHT BE ABOUT TO BE COURT MARSHALLES

Fives: noooo ur so sexy don’t be court marshaled

Echo: …anyways. Why???

Rex: I flirted with Skywalker a bit and told him I know a cool place and dropped him off at the mind healer’s in the temple

501st: *multiple people typing at once*

[incorrectclonewarsquotes]

Cody: Can my battalion campout with you tonight

Rex: What happened?

Wooley: General Skywalker was messing with a Sith artifact, broke it, and turned half of the battalion including my husband into toddlers along infested our ship with Sith ghosts.

Rex: And where is Ahsoka?

Wooley: She doesn't know how to banish spirits, so she's splashing the sky cruiser with swamp water and salt yelling "This isn't a hotel"

[gospelofme]

Clone trooper shit

[uglybumbo]

[bibannana]

Anakin *yelling, throwing his hands around*: Disgusting! Horrid! Slander against my name!

Ahsoka *blank faced*: I just asked if you and Senator Amidala were together.

Anakin *taking both the Skywalker twins from Padmé*: Tarnishing my image! Unacceptable!

Padmé *pats Ahsoka on the back*: Don't worry, it's just a reflex of his.

Taglist: @soliloquy-of-nemo @staycalmandhugaclone @nekotaetae @sexy-rex @jiabae

[sun-roach]

Rex: Are you sure, your general is okay with us joining the mission?

Cody: Why wouldn’t he be?

Rex: …ehh Cody… maybe your sunglasses are tinted a little too dark. Perhaps you should take them off and look around

Cody: *raises a brow and takes them off to do that:

Fives and Echo are shooting at Waxer and Boil with water guns,

Ahsoka is hissing at Anakin, who splashed water in her eyes for trying to drag him back into the sand,

Kix and Helix bury Jessie and Gregor in sand,

Tup, Oddball and Wooley eat snacks and watermelons on a blanket.

Cody: *looks back at Rex* I don’t know what you mean. This is completely peaceful-

Fives: ECHO WE ARE IN THE SAME TEAM

Echo: BOIL TOLD ME YOU ATE MY SNACKS!?

Fives: HE IS THE ENEMY. I D-DIDN't uh -

Echo: You are a terrible liar. WAXER, BOIL GET HIM

Fives: I WILL REMEMBER THIS. JESSE I NEED BACKUP!

Jesse: Can’t right now, vod. This is relaxing

Gregor: Alright Helix get me out. I am gonna show them how real fun looks-

Helix: *grins like a devil* There is no way you will get out

Jesse: uhhh Kix… could you help us-

Kix: Sorry, Jesse but this is for the best of you two *grabs his water gun and runs towards Fives with Helix *

Gregor: H-Hey! Where are you going?!

Jesse: Come back here you little shit!! KIX!!!!

Wooley: Heeee-EYYYY! WATCH WHERE YOU ARE RUNNING

Tup: My snacks :(

Oddball: HIS KRIFFING SNACKS YOU MORONS! *loads Watergun and shoots at Helix*

*a water battle breaks out but once Obi-Wan steps close they all freeze*

Obi-Wan: Oh no, no. Please. Enjoy your time

Fives: Uhhh…

Anakin: Master! Ahsoka-!

Ahsoka: Master! Anakin-!

Anakin & Ahsoka: *glare at each other*

Obi-Wan: *sighs*

Cody:… *grabs his water gun and shoots at Obi-Wan *

Everyone: *shocked*

Obi-Wan:…

Cody: …

Obi-Wan: *grins wide and throws a water balloon at Cody* You shouldn’t have done this, my dear.

Cody: *laughs* Oh really? You better run, Obi-Wan. Boys! Blast him!

[cuddles-with-dragons]

Fives: We need to distract these guys. Echo: Leave it to me. Echo: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Anakin & Rex: *immediately begin arguing*

Rex: What's gone wrong, Fives? Fives: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. Rex: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? Fives: Well... There’s a crisis.

Anakin: *sees someone doing something stupid* Anakin: What an idiot. Anakin: *realizes it's Ahsoka* Anakin: Wait, that's MY idiot!

Ahsoka: I hate to disagree with you, but- Anakin: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

Anakin: Wanna hear some dark humor. Rex: Yeah, I love dark humor. Anakin: Alright. Anakin: *Turns off the lights* Anakin: Knock knock. Rex: Turn the damn lights back on.

Rex: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Fives: Mine just says "Fives no." Rex: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single speeder bike. Fives, with Echo and Rex behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?! Police: Yes…three. Fives: Oh, my God— What the fuck!? Police: Wha- Fives: Cody FUCKING FELL OFF!

Rex: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Echo: Fives! Rex got that thing on the control panel working! Fives: Wow! That looks pretty impressive. Echo: Yeah! Fives: Any idea what it does? Echo: Not a clue.

Cody, answering his comm: Hello? Rex: It’s Rex. Cody: What did he do this time? Rex: No, it’s me, Rex. It’s actually me. Cody: What did you do this time?

Obi-Wan: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults! Anakin: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best? Obi-Wan: Obviously. Now, Ahsoka, pass the shovel.

Police Officer: You have the right to remain silent. Fives: I choose to waive that right! Fives: *screaming*

[galaxyofjedi]

There is absolutely not enough bastard sibling thorn out there, guess I’ll have to make some!

[anstarwar]

Rex tired of Anakin being late to mission briefings

[thestarwarslesbian]

Anakin: Would you slap your best friend for a million credits? Rex: I would roundhouse kick you in the face for free. Anakin, tearing up: I'm your best friend.