#and the universe said i love you because you are love ^_^ (lloyd is causing the apocalypse)

[unknownsigils]

and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you / and the universe said the light you seek is within you / and the universe said you are not alone

[lloydfrontera]

Oh that og lloyd returns and suho goes through the reincarnation gate ask and answer were incredible. I'm usually like happy ending and would have said that what if javier does the same where he goes to verkis and try to get suho lloyd and does bring him, because i can't imagine suho lloyd staying in seoul alone or worst, but then would it have a happy ending? with him there with og lloyd, he'll also have mixed feelings because it's not the og lloyd he talked at the train or its the same buy forgot their conversation

let's not forget the before suho lloyd comes back and weeks passed by already lorasia, the people of the county, the engineers, the white calvary, alicia, solitas, cordius, orcs, elf, sees og lloyd act and well this is not the person the person that they allied and spent time with

I sincerely agree with this "all in all. not a good time for anyone! which i think fucks i love this scenario it really woke up the brain worms <3"

about this

it's such a fun au because it makes everything immediately worse <3

i also tend to like happy endings more than anything else but i do admit i like putting my blorbos in situations even more salkdjsfds

and yeah javier definitely went looking for lloyd in this au too. probably even sooner than he did in canon lol. cause at least in canon he was certain that lloyd had just been reborn, he thought that he was lost to him forever, that the best he could get was to know if he was happy in his next life. in this version he wouldn't be so sure. after all lloyd crossed the gate and now og lloyd is back. so clearly the reincarnation gate doesn't work as straightforwardly as one might first have assumed.

i think the moment he snapped out of his "should i just throw him back" moment and the guilt over his momentary lapse of control passed he would've gone straight to the jewel of truth and asked what happened to lloyd. and then gone bother one of the most powerful beings in the universe into opening a portal to his bf.

fuck the consequences he wants his lloyd back goddammit

this would simultaneously make everything better and also worse.

better because at least now lloyd isn't, y'know, dead and so everyone who cares for him in whatever shape or form isn't mourning him. arcos and marbella would especially be overjoyed, because now they have all of their children together, they're all okay, they're all safe and this time it will probably stick. julian,,, would be conflicted because he now has to deal with the fact the brother he thought he knew had been lying to him for years and (non-maliciously as it might have been) tricked him into forgiving the person who made his life hell almost his entire life and now there's no handy grief to make it easy to overlook all of that. but i do think he would be very, very happy his hyung he loves and admires so much is alive and safe and now they can get to know each other for real.

worse because now lloyd isn't dead and og lloyd gets to see just how much everyone loves him. just how much respect and affection he earned, how much he achieved, how loved he became in just five years compared to what og lloyd did in his entire life. and man would that suck for the guy. like. genuinely would be a terrible thing to go through. but again. i don't think he would do anything about it. like. he wouldn't see the point. he'd be angry, he'd throw some epic tantrums but i don't think he would put in the effort to change his behavior.

in canon og lloyd achieved some kind of resignation and peace with his situation because he saw first hand the kind of stuff lloyd did, he followed him around, he saw how much effort he put in, the kind of things he went through... it's hard to deny someone has earned something when you see them put their sweat blood and tears into it.

in this au, this og lloyd doesn't get that. as far as he knows he passed out one night and then woke up five-ish years later to find that no only did some fucker walk around in his body for all that time but everyone that he knows is mourning the man. the fucking guy who stole his body. like. yeah i would kind of also be pissed i'm not gonna lie.

he doesn't know how bad things got, how hard it was to save the estate, hell, the entire country, he'd only see all the results and none of the struggles. he wouldn't get why people, his family especially, are so happy to have him back. and he'd get very angry about i think.

and to be fair his anger would be mostly outrage at lloyd stealing his body (unintentionally but still), jealousy and some genuinely hurt feelings. i do think he'd be understandably hurt that his family is apparently more concerned about the guy that impersonated him than for him who was gone for years (*cough* even if i do think he kind of earned it *cough*)

as for lloyd,,, yeah no this is not an ideal situation for him either. he'd be over the moon at being able to come back, don't get me wrong, that part wouldn't change, but to come face to face with the guy he accidentally replaced, whose family he kind of took as his, and who doesn't remember the conversation and tentative truce they came to in hell,,, definitely not how he hoped this would go.

i don't know if he would actually feel very guilty cause like. well at least the guy is alive now. and he's no longer doomed to a self-caused premature death. and he gets to live in a debt-free estate that's been turned into the most powerful territory of the whole continent. so like. he thinks og lloyd got a pretty good deal out of it. yeah losing five years sucks but he would've died a couple years ago anyway.

i do think he'd feel very awkward about calling arcos and marbella 'father' and 'mother' like he wanted to. if he already felt awkward in canon it would be even worse in this au with og lloyd glaring at him from a corner any time their parents so much at smile at him. i don't think it would stop him completely, but he'd definitely tone it down when they're all together.

let's not forget the before suho lloyd comes back and weeks passed by already lorasia, the people of the county, the engineers, the white calvary, alicia, solitas, cordius, orcs, elf, sees og lloyd act and well this is not the person the person that they allied and spent time with

ooff yeah, it's one thing in canon when lloyd just goes away and then comes back with a new face. here they would actually have to deal with the original guy and like. he sucks </3

i do wish we had more info about how much of the situation is public knowledge. we know a couple people know about the whole kim suho thing once he comes back but i don't know how much the fronteras would've told anyone about it beforehand. my guess would be nothing, because honestly it was none of their business lol but i guess in this au they would have to offer some kind of explanation. either they tell the truth or they pretend og lloyd has amnesia and that's why he's different of the way people expect him to be. either way i think it would be a very hard sell in either scenario. funny enough i think the lie is actually more believable in this case lol

again. not a great situation for anyone involved! which i think it's fantastic! maybe not to them but to me <3 which is the most important thing here <33

[sstan-hoe]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒊𝒑

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — lloyd hansen x fem!reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — you have to go on a work trip and leave Lloyd alone with your cat; Aramis

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — none! this is pure fluff, I do hope I did right here because on one hand I wanted everything to go on chaos but they're just so cute 😍

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 — @georgiapeach30513, reblog and comment! follow @sstanhoe-updates to get notifications everytime I post!!!! from this universe

"Lloyd, it's only for a few days, I'll be back on Thursday!" You told him with an eye roll. Lloyd was behind you not being in the best mood while you packed a suitcase.

"But you can't leave me alone with that little shi–" "ah! What did I tell you about calling him names?" Lloyd was mad at you for going on a trip without him – which wasn't the problem – and he had to watch your cat Aramis. The cat he bought for you.

"Sunshine, why can't I go with you?" You already told him a hundred times why.

"Someone has to watch Aramis and I can't take you on a work trip with me," you stated, "and it's a great chance to work on your bond with him!"

Lloyd huffed, he didn't need to work on his bond with the cat. His eyes drifted to the orange fur ball who sat on the kitchen aisle. Aramis tilted his head at Lloyd before hopping down from the platform.

He elegantly walked over to you nudging his head against your leg, "aww I know baby. I won’t be gone for too long and you've got Lloyd to keep you company!"

Aramis' head turned to look up at Lloyd and then back to you as if to say 'are you serious?'. You giggled and shook your head. You got up on your tiptoes and pressed your lips to Lloyd's, "I love you and I made you a list with things you have to do while I'm gone – for Aramis. I know you know how to do laundry and clean a kitchen or bathroom."

You knelt down to Aramis, scratching his head, "I'm going to miss you so much, baby! But I will be back in three days and then we will cuddle and play, sleep whatever you like!" You kissed his head and gave him a light squeeze before scratching his throat – something he absolutely loved – one more time.

Lloyd helped you get your bag to the car even though it wasn't necessary.

With one last kiss, Lloyd watched you get in the car and drive away. He sighed before going back inside not thrilled to spend his time with Aramis.

The cat sat on his scratching tree, his eyes watching Lloyd's every move.

Lloyd went to the kitchen to read the list you have him. "I have to clean your toilet? Feed you every morning and night only dry, every two days wet. She's not even gone that long! Pet him…of course, clean the sleep from his eyes…what the hell? What sleep?"

He looked over to Aramis who lifted his paw and licked it, cleaning his left eye. Lloyd noticed a little brown thing in Aramis' eyes at the corner.

Taking a tissue he walked over to the Maine Coon. Gently He tried to remove the sleep but Aramis laid his paw on top of his hand. Lloyd never realized how big the caramel-coloured paws were or how big he actually was. And he was only two, Maine Coon's grew until they were four.

"I know you might not like it but mama said I have to." You made it a habit calling him daddy in front of Aramis as if he was his dad – which he kinda was – while you had already called him that in bed.

You also forced him to call you mama in front of him. Long story short; Lloyd didn't like it but you told him it was practice for your future child, which caused him to buckle in.

"She can be so lucky I love her, what I do for her! I mean look at me watching after you." Lloyd shook his head, eyes drifting over to Aramis who laid down on the scratching tree closing his eyes. "Oh, come on, don't ignore me! I cleaned your eyes for you, I didn’t have to do that." Aramis lifted his head in response and blinked at him, Lloyd scoffed and went back to the list.

"Change the water regularly," it was marked red, "play with him," and in all capitals, "interact with him."

He wondered what that was supposed to mean, like talk to him? If yes then he did that already, then he saw the examples beneath, playing with him, talking with him, watching his favorite Show with him – the big bang theory –, give him treats, cuddle with him. All sorts of these things.

Aramis meanwhile cleaned his caramel-coloured fur and even if Lloyd would beg to differ, Aramis liked him and enjoyed his presence. The assassin was always calm around you, a whole different person and the beautiful feline could see he needed you as well as listened to you which Aramis took as advantage.

"Okay, fine. I'm gonna go and check your water, food and then get some work done not that you'd care," Lloyd told the cat, for the fact that he found it weird to talk to him or like him, Lloyd talked rather often with him in the past ten minutes.

After checking the water and food, Lloyd took his computer to sit down on the couch. He started watching TV while he worked through reports, checked the financial status and more.

The cat however sat there and watched him as he typed on the keyboard as the TV turned to the big bang theory. Lloyd didn't even notice it, too deep in his work. Aramis jumped from the scratching tree and elegantly walked over to the couch, setting his paws on the furniture he pushed himself up with his back paws.

While Lloyd only registered as Aramis sitting down anywhere the cat had other things in mind. Strutting over to said man Aramis sat himself on his lap and half on the computer causing Lloyd to groan loudly in annoyance.

"Really, damn it I was working!" gently he tried to move the orange cat to the side but he would budge, "you're like your mama ya know? Can't fight ya," with that he just sat there and unwillingly patted the pet on his lap/computer.

Later that day Lloyd had given Aramis new water and feed as well as cleaned the litter box. Now he was happy to just lay in bed and either fall asleep or watch a show or movie.

Feeling lonely Aramis followed Lloyd into the bathroom where the man brushed his teeth and went to the toilet, just as he sat down he noticed the cat in the door frame.

"Ever heard of privacy?" Aramis tilted his head and blinked at him before lifting his paw to open the door further, "yeah got it," he muttered and finished all while Aramis watched him. After everything was done Lloyd finally got to the bed which felt too empty for his liking and that was when an caramel-coloured fur ball jumped up on the bed.

"You know I had more your mama's company in mind…," he trailed off as the feline cuddled himself against Lloyd's legs.

As if on cue his phone started ringing, your name popped up and the invitation to video chat. With a big smile your boyfriend answered, "hey there sunshine," "how are my two handsome boys?" you immediately asked with the same smile.

"Good, yeah, good. We watched big bang theory, I got some work done until he sat himself on my computer and then made him food and put new water in, then he watched me pee on the toilet and now we're just laying in bed." The news that the both of them went along with one another made butterflies erupt in your stomach.

You were nervous leaving the two of them alone but that all vanished as soon as you saw them both cuddling together in bed…and Lloyd had the audacity to say he didn't like him!

[universesrising]

Ooooo what are everyone's wings? Are they biological? Are they artificial for certain team members (Zane and Pixal)? Are the wings connected to the elements of a master or the product of magic shenanigans? Very neat designs as well and I love Jay's wing design here!

[initiating wall-of-text.exe... please stand by]

OKAY SO! we've seen jay's wings, how the notable thing about lightning are the baubles on the tips of them and their usually vibrant colors. another thing to note is that these baubles usually glow, since they're quite literally full of lightning. think a weird solid plasma ball. they stop glowing when he's asleep.

the others, let's go with cole first. cole's wings are HUGE, so he's very slow to get in the air and in flying in general. they've got armor too in the form of all them rock-scales, so they're also heavy, hence the clumsiness. not easy to take this man down when he's on the ground, but in the air... yikes.

kai's wings are pretty neat, because they are ALWAYS GLOWING. the entire wings. all the time. fire is just like that, funny bioluminescent scales. unlike jay's glow this never stops ever. since he's also water descended he does have a bit of the [ALSO GLOWING] patterns that come with that, so all in all he is just a VERY SHINY boy.

nya is much the same. she is not spared from her brother's shininess. except her water descendant markings are both more prominent and much brighter than the rest of her wings.

lloyd?? has four wings?? [thank you legogeek] and they are very green and gold?? built for speed, like jay's, but other than that literally no one knows what's going on with him. help this man.

now ZANE. you have a very good question. cause the nature of the Gifted usually wouldn't include androids in the whole shebang, but zane?? has wings?? that DEFINITELY weren't there when he was created. so how did that happen?? in-universe, zane has extremely complicated origins in general, but basically long story short, your local ice dragon took one look at him and said "my son." and well. yeah. turns out androids can also become Gifted if a dragon is VERY determined about it. his wings themselves, they don't quite match color-wise to a regular descendant of ice, since he's, y'know, made of metal, but the talons [the Way To Tell for ice descendants] look as if they're made of ice, though are very strong and sharp and please do not touch them

[also it's the dragons themselves that choose the GIfted, fun lore fact!]

the wings themselves are most certainly part of them once they become Gifted, even for zane [pixal is not a Gifted in the au SOBS]. it acts like they've always been there, save for the adjustment period of "oh stars how do i move these limbs i have literally never had before??".

in terms of elements, the wings are connected to them, technically, since what your wings are determine what your element is. it's easy to tell a Gifted's element this way, going off of the specific attributes each wing has [jay's baubles, kai's G L O W, etc].

to expand on how the wings are given, yes, as i said before, it's the dragons that choose a Gifted. every once in a while, a dragon or a few travel to Ninjago to select their Gifted. once they find their chosen, through - yes - magical shenanigans, they give their wings to them, and i mean that quite literally. one dragon usually comes along specifically for being the team bus driver to bring the now-wingless dragons back to the First Realm.

and that is Lore Part 2 of the Wing!AU! thank you very much for this question and the ability to scream about this lovely lil thing some more. i am entirely normal about wings. trust me.

[and i'm glad you like jay's design! even if i did forgET TO COLOR SOMETHING PROPERLY-]

[shinyfire-0]

Fanfic Writer’s 20 Questions!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Ten

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

139014

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Three fandoms; BBC Sherlock, Phantom of the Opera, What We Do In The Shadows

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pour like the rain

Tercet

Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Masturbatory Phantasy (ffs)

Legion

The Others

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to all the comments because I love them. I am always so pleased that people take the time to comment on my efforts. Over the past year or so I have met some fabulous people through big chats in the comment sections of their fics and mine. I feel like it is such a lovely reward to have someone take the time to comment that I want to thank them!

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The angstiest ending is in a fierce inequality of love. And it’s only angsty because it is my exploration of the canon Erik/Christine relationship - which is angsty and unhappy. I wrote this over twenty years ago and it was HATED at the time and that still makes me laugh.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I do write crossovers. I never ever thought I would until I watched What We Do In The Shadows and decided that Nandor could have been the mystery Persian. Instead of Erik going off and dying in the basement of the Opera House after all the chaos he caused with Christine, Nandor turned him into a vampire and they’ve been immortal boyfriends ever since.

What Erik and Nandor Do In The Shadows

They even have almost indescribable fanart by @paperandsong:

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not directly

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, luckily for the world, the universe and everyone. It is entirely vanilla

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sort of, for about half an hour

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but I often work closely with two lovely friends (@paperandsong and @aphaea21) who are kind enough to beta read and edit my efforts. They are amazingly helpful and improve my writing no end

13) What's your all-time favourite ship?

It’s not really a ship but a dynamic. I like a clever, brilliant, angsty, on-edge person paired with someone who keeps them from going off the rails, but who also REALLY gets them and appreciates them. In the PotO fandom, for me, that’s Erik/Nadir (or the Persian/Daroga).

But, obviously, I like Erik/Christine as well.

Gawd, anyone who seems to like Erik back is my favourite!

14) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I have abandoned WIPs that I am not capable of finishing because I realised the idea was beyond me in terms of time and skill.

15) What are your writing weaknesses?

Too many commas, long sentences, too many descriptive words, Word Of The Day. I am a new writer and I am still trying to find my ‘voice’ haha.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I have written one or two lines in French to try give the impression that the person listening to it in the story might not understand what’s being said. But beyond that I am not confident enough in another language to write dialogue in anything other than English.

18) What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Phantom of the Opera!

19) What's your favorite fic you've written?

Pour like the rain, my strange baby. I wrote it after 15 years away from the fandom. I started reading poto fic again in March 2020 when everything closed down. I began to read a lot of pharoga which wasn’t around much when I was last reading fic in the mid-2000s. I found that these fics really resonated with how my ideas about Erik had developed. So it is almost like a fanfic of fanfics, almost like a piece of original fiction, because it strays so far from canon. It’s also really personal (!!) But in the end it’s a big ol’ story about the power of love to profoundly change the course of a person’s life. And I can’t help liking that.

Here is a picture Rosa Bonheur's The Paris Horse Fair. I like it because I have Erik and Nadir go to this very horse fair to buy horses (what else?!) and it was painted at about the same time that I set pltr (1852).

20) Who do you tag?

@catcorsair @helloitskrispy @bluemasque86 @real-hidden @phandompenny @illuminaughti-online @artaline @lonesparkthefriendlykraken @nxoivar pressure though! <3

[soryualeksi]

Working on a masterpost where I'd also maybe collect up the relevant Rays lore definitions. Until then, we have a new chapter~

Some terms again, for clarity's sake:

Dead Mirrite: the grudge of a slain Mirrite (a kind of spirit) that has taken shape again, I guess as a monster, with its remains contained in the Voidstorm (a rampaging force or, well, storm that destroys everything in its path and that was caused by, in Tales tradition, the use of a weapon of mass destruction called Kaleidoscope)

Encoding: the in-universe process of mashing the different lore elements of the Tales series together into one coherent world for Rays, can even change stuff that was already there by incorporating new elements as they come

Chapter 3 - Wandering Spirit of the Great Tree 4: The Tethe'Alla Domain's Tree

Mithos: Say, Sister... You're really not turning around, are you? We're so many already, we have enough battle strength, you know.

Martel: You're right if we're talking only in terms of battle strength, but I want to aid Ratatosk, too. He helped us out a lot in our original world and I want to return the favour.

Mithos: ... and on top of that, your little brother betrayed him horribly.

Martel: ... Mithos. I love you and I will always protect you, no matter what. But only you can make amends for your mistakes.

Martel: I want to help Ratatosk for my own sake.

Mithos: ... Sister.

Lloyd: You're really strict Martel, huh. Just like Professor Raine.

Raine: Aw, I have no idea what you mean.

Lloyd: I don't mean it in a bad way. Maybe a little bit scary...

Martel: Oh well...

Lloyd: But good for you, Mithos. If you ask me, that's much better than being told you're without flaw.

Mithos: ...

Sheena: On a different note... I wonder what happened to that Ratatosk guy. He just fell asleep and never woke up...

Colette: Yeah... And he's breathing so hard... Annie and the others said there is nothing wrong with his body, but...

Presea: ... maybe it is because he is a Spirit. But... nothing has changed about Milla or Celsius or any of the Seraphim or Malakhim...

Raine: That's right. That's why, as Klarth pointed out, it's logical to assume that his connection to the Great Kharlan Tree is relevant in some way.

Raine: The Great Kharlan Tree has been altered from its original form by the presence of Dead Mirrites and the addition of elements from the World Trees of the Kanonnos' worlds through the Encoding.

Raine: There might be a connection we don't know about...

Genis: Marta was really worried, too, so we have to do something! Right, Mithos?

Mithos: Uhm... Yeah... You're right.

Sheena: You know, Mithos... You have a completely different attitude towards Genis than to us, huh?

Mithos: ... and you have a completely different attitude towards Lloyd than towards Zelos, don't you.

Sheena: !?

Presea: There are things people can accept and things they cannot... Things they can forgive and things they cannot...

Presea: I am no different... And neither are you, Mithos...

Presea: So to have the same attitude towards everyone... is surely impossible.

Presea: But still... we can all live in the same world with each other... Isn't that right, Lloyd?

Lloyd: Yeah. I think that's how the world works. People you don't like, people who make you mad, they can still coexist with you...

Lloyd: Casting people I don't like out just because I don't like them, the thought makes me sick. Who even knows, maybe someone likes the people I don't like.

Martel: Hee hee... Lloyd. You're an unusual child, huh. It's so obvious, yet people all too easily twist these obvious things to their own advantage.

Martel: You're a bit like Mithos, after all.

Mithos: He's not. I've thrown away such hypocritical thoughts.

Martel: If you can throw them away, that means you had them at some point. Also what you've thrown away can be picked up again, right?

Mithos: ...

Lloyd: ...

Raine: ... everyone, we're about the reach the Great Kharlan Tree. What are our first steps?

Genis: In pairs, we're going to investigate the area around the Tree.

Raine: Exactly. Each of us will gather a list of things we've noticed from our viewpoint. Let's do our best for Ratatosk and Emil.

Lloyd: ... man, you really behave like a spoiled child with your sister, huh.

Mithos: ... what?

Lloyd: You don't do what she says, you never say "thank you" and you complain all the time.

Mithos: When did I ever complain to my sister!?

Lloyd: Let's see, you were like "and your little brother betrayed him horribly" or something... Oh, so you wanted to say "thank you" and "sorry to be an inconvenience" to your sister, after all.

Lloyd: Genis is like that too, so maybe little brothers just are a bit of a mystery.

Mithos: ... I really can't stand you.

Lloyd: I can't stand you, either. I'll never forgive you for the things you've done in our original world. But... even if I can't forgive you... I hope that maybe one day we can look in the same direction.

Raine (over comms): Lloyd, Mithos! Come quickly! Martel has collapsed!

---

I find it interesting that, while Martel does NOT know about the whole, well, genocide and human breeding """thing""", she takes Mithos being his very bitter self in stride and isn't surprised in the least, which makes me think it's been a dynamic that has been going on even before her death in the original timeline. She doesn't act shocked or ask what happened to her sweet brother, anything. She is prepared to re-enforce her boundaries, too.

She sets him these boundaries and doesn't let him manipulate her into babying him, which. A+. I love Martel. She's so great. I love her so much. "of course you'd want to make amends for your sweet little brother getting into trouble with the Spirits how noble of you... ;_;" "no, Mithos, I'm my own person and I make my own decisions, and also you're a grown-up who will take care of his OWN messes himself :) I still love you sweetie :)"

Martel. She's so good. I love her. I love everything about her. I need more of her. She takes no shit. And she's taking matters into her own hands and sets her boundaries. No wonder Yuan is head-over-heels for her. I love her.

[xpeachesncream]

Hi! A drabble idea i have for perfectly wrongnis that in an alternative universe where y/n ends up with jk and tae is jealous so he goes after her, you can decide the ending 😙👉👈

perfectly wrong | drabble [8]: who said you didn’t want jeon jungkook the way he wanted you?

word count: 2.3k

warnings: cussing, jealousy, almost had a taehyung v. jungkook round 2, alcohol consumption, block party scene, slight angst?

note: (this takes place after chapter 12) HOHHHKAY, ANON! I SEE YOU! I LOVE THE SWITCH UP HERE! we are in this thangythang 🤪 gotta show our other baby some love, right? this also ended up being a lot longer than planned so i’m sorry lol i just didn’t know how to end it properly. enjoy!

Enough time had passed and you were tired. You were tired and you were over this shit. Hell to the no you were not gonna let this man keep on walking all over you. This was not you.

You picked yourself up and dusted off your shoulders.

You've deleted Taehyung's number for good. Tossed out all those memories, the need, the want for him. You pushed aside longing for that familiar feeling. You were done and Taehyung fucking hates it. If he wasn't mad before, he's livid now. He hates losing. And he knows after the shit he pulled at Jin's party with Aiko and the way he disrespected you, he lost you fair and square. He noticed how well you were doing even after the whole incident - clinging onto Jungkook and the public PDA, doing all the flirty, cute couple shit. It drives him crazy that it can't be him, and he knows he's to blame for his stupid antics and messy attitude. He truly can't say he regrets throwing fists at Jungkook. Somehow, Taehyung knew he was always going to lose this battle in the end. It was only a matter of time.

"Wakey wakey to my favorite couple!" Yoongi yelled, repeatedly opening and closing Jungkook's door before he finally had the nerve to jump on top of you two snuggled under his sheets. "Block party time!"

"Get the fuck off." You mumbled near the crook of Jungkook's neck, causing him to slightly chuckle as he tried to wake himself up. Yoongi didn't move, his body weight still fully on top of you two, so you did what you had to do and kicked him off.

"Aish! Agh, ow!" He laughed as he fell onto the floor, grabbing his shin. Jungkook shot his head up and began to laugh, watching as he dramatically limped out of the room. "Y/N kicked me off the bed." He begins to tell Hobi, in which Hobi faintly replied with a 'serves you right for going into the room like that.'

"Did you really have to do that?" Kook snickered as he booped your nose and watched you stir in your position. Jungkook, surprisingly, had easily welcomed the fact that you've passed the unspoken "bestfriend" boundaries over time and how you opened that door. The title alone is what gave you both those boundaries, but if it were up to him, he would have asked you a long time ago about taking this further. He loved you, he truly did. He always has, but he always respected you before anything else. He just wanted to make sure you were happy first and foremost, whether or not that meant being with him or someone else, so he never pressed it. Instead, he figured he'd let it naturally happen if it was meant to. 

For the most part, you were good and that's all that mattered. You were good even though Taehyung had the nerve to do this shit to you and to call you a meaningless fuck. You were good because you had someone like Jungkook that could make you feel safe and protected. This entire time had you wondering if the person you were really meant to be with was in front of you this whole time. Why were you chasing someone like Taehyung when Jungkook was here? All the shit Jin and your friends had tossed your way, teasing you about your relationship with Kook - maybe it was true. Maybe there was some truth to it. That's why you opened the door to see what the other side was about.

"100%." You sat up to fully wake yourself up from the nap. Kook gets himself out first and heads to the bathroom to get ready. Once it was your turn to get ready, he waited outside in the living room along with Yoongi and Hobi. There was a block party happening downtown, with Yoongi and his friends dj'ing for some part of it. There would be tons of local restaurants, beer, wine and other food trucks in attendance, along with other activities like face painting and temporary tattoo booths, shit you'd pretty much see at a fair.

You'd done a great job avoiding Taehyung and running into him head on, so you were hoping your streak would remain alive tonight. You knew he'd be there. There was no way he wasn’t going to. Taehyung and his friends were always present at any event.

His silence was a curse. Had always been. So if he had anything to say to you now, you didn't wanna hear it.

After sitting in the car, taking swigs of vodka from a water bottle and chasing with White Claws, you all find yourselves walking through the food trucks and booths. The block party is fucking packed from end to end on the street, with You, Jungkook and Hobi trying your hardest to stick together. Yoongi had ran off to the main stage, already starting his set as you three are trying to find a good spot to dance and chill at. Kook is holding your hand, but as soon as you all find a spot you agree with, he's bringing you to the front so you could dance with and on him. Really, it's nothing new to you two, the dynamic not really changing even if you were exploring new heights in your relationship with him. Your friends also really appreciate the dynamic between you, them never really feeling like they're third-wheeling or out of place.

When DJ Yoongi is starting to slow the music down, Jungkook wraps his arms around your neck, singing along and holding you close as you vibe to the beat of Southside by Lloyd and Ashanti. Hobi is standing next to you like Kris Jenner, recording Yoongi during his entire set and trying his hardest not to bounce around too much while recording. All of a sudden, Yoongi's friend hops onto the tables and shit gets turnt really quick. It's almost like a mosh pit, except you and Jungkook were able to make it out and Hobi is somewhere within the crowd trying to find Yoongi on the other end.

"Shit, where's Hobi?" You said while tippytoeing, trying to catch a glimpse of his head in the sea of people.

"He'll be okay, I think? Let's head to the other side and see if we can find him and Yoongi." Jungkook says, intertwining his hands with yours as he leads the way towards the other side. It's a little calmer on this side being that there's a barrier to block off the party from the sidewalk area. You two catch a glimpse of Hobi making his way towards Yoongi next to the stage, allowing you to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Ah, okay. I see him. Thank god." You say, pushing your back against the wall. You were just worried he would get hurt trying to find his way through.

"Hobi's a big boy." Jungkook chuckles, scrunching his nose. You two observe from the sidelines for a bit, figuring this is probably the safest area to stay at for awhile. "Hey, I'm gonna head to the bathroom, okay? You gonna be alright here?" Jungkook squeezes your hand as he looks down at you.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." He smiles toothlessly before planting a quick kiss on your head. You watch as he waddles off to the bathroom, a line starting to form around the corner just to get in like it's some kind of club. You lean your back against the wall, scrolling through your phone to keep yourself busy until he gets back.

"So, that's it, huh? Can't say I'm surprised, though." Taehyung says, coming out of fucking nowhere? He comes closer, nodding towards Jungkook's way. His eyes are piercing through you, and suddenly, every moment you had spent with him flashes in your head.

"Please get the hell away from me."

"Can we just talk for a minute?" Was he serious right now? Out of all fucking places?

"Talk about what, Taehyung?"

"Look, let me just say this. I'm sorry for how things went down at Jin's party. I—" He paused. "I didn't mean the things that I said."

"Then maybe you should learn how to think before you let shit come out of your mouth." You turn behind you to check if Jungkook is coming back anytime soon, but you don't see a sign of him. "I'm really not trying to do this--"

"Maybe next time you shouldn't come at me about toying with emotions." He's furrowing his brows, slight anger peeking through his eyes. He shakes his head before he steps closer to you, his hands dug into his pockets. "Can you really say that you're done with us?" He says softly, his gaze following from your eyes to your lips.

"Us?" You scoff. "There was never an us." You glare at him. "This is done. You said all of this yourself, loud and clear."

"Y/N, I was stupid. I just didn't know how to control my feelings about everything going on." His jaw slightly clenches.

"And that's your problem. You don't know how to control anything. You have things you need to figure out and quite frankly, I'm not trying to be around for it. I'm not waiting for you to get your shit together. I don't fucking deserve to put myself through this after all the mess you've caused, all the shit you've said to me." You shook your head "No."

"It's been Jungkook this whole time, hasn't it?" He scoffs. "You always denied it, but you knew it was always going to be him."

"Don't turn this on me."

"So, what? You think he's gonna do you like I did?" He comes closer, his breath hitting against the side of your neck. "Touch you like I did? Fuck you the way that I did?"

"None of that matters if you can't even pull yourself together and own up to your shit."

"You know this isn't what you want."

"And how do you know what I want, Taehyung? You don't even know what you want for yourself." He glares down at you.

"It's still you."

"Bullshit, you don't disrespect someone and expect them to come back. Not me." Suddenly, you feel Jungkook's hand around your wrist. You turn to see him and Taehyung having a stare off, afraid of what might ensue if you don't get Jungkook to walk away. You were not trying to have a Taehyung v. Jungkook Royal Rumble 2, not with all the cops and security present here.

"Are you serious?" Taehyung laughs. "If he's really the one you want, then whatever. So be it, I guess."

"The fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jungkook spits out as you grip his arm tightly.

"Just thought your girl might have second thoughts, that’s all." He smirked slyly while shrugging. The thing with Taehyung is that he knew how to piss of anybody. He just didn’t give a flying fuck.

"Taehyung, stop." You say, getting in the middle. "We don't have shit to discuss anymore, okay? This is done. Get yourself together before you think about fucking over somebody else." You slightly push Jungkook to walk away, his eyes still kept on Taehyung until you've placed enough distance between the two.

"What else did he say to you?"

"Nothing, Kook."

"Y/N."

"He just tried to talk to me about Jin's party and apologize."

"Apologize?" He furrows his forehead.

"Leave it, Jungkook. It's fine, alright?" He sighs heavily.

"Alright." Jungkook doesn't say much for the rest of the night, and so don't you. You both tried your hardest to push it aside and enjoy the rest of the night, but everyone knows the damage Taehyung has done and what that comes with. It's just awkward, and a really uncomfortable vibe whenever you two happen to cross paths again in one way or another. You weren't trying to be friends, you weren't trying to talk about anything. He made himself clear at Jin's party. You weren't shit to him. So why should you care?

After the block party, everyone is pretty tired and is ready to go straight to bed. You all take turns washing up and getting ready in Jungkook's apartment, Jungkook being the last to step out of the bathroom in a shirt and pajama pants. He watches you sit on his bed quietly, scrolling through your phone.

"Hey." He says softly, gently touching your arm to bring you closer to him.

"Yeah?"

"You know I care about you, right? You know how I feel about you." He says in a soft tone.

"I know."

"So then you know that your happiness is more important to me than mine. You're what matters here."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I know I tell you time and time again that you deserve better than Taehyung, but part of me also feels like I really can't stop you from feeling what you feel. If you--" His head drops as he sighs. "If you wanna work this out with him, just tell me." He says, genuinely concerned about your feelings. He knows he wouldn't hurt you but he's also partially afraid that you might be distracted since things didn't turn out well with Taehyung. Although, whatever, it's always gonna be a big fuck you to him. He's an asshole, and Jungkook was never going to change his mind about it. But what mattered here was you. Kook knew you deserved way better and he was willing to be that for you, but he wasn't going to force you if this wasn't where you truly wanted to be.

"I am happy. Right here."

"Are you sure?"

"Kook. That's done with. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay." Is all he responds with before he's pressing lips into a fine line and squeezing your hand. He leans over to kiss you on the forehead before he makes his way out of the room to help your bestfriends get settled out in the living room.

[ninja-go-to-therapy]

Whumptober 7: I’ve Got You

the red marks the prompts that have been filled, and the white marks the prompts that have been requested.

@badthingshappenbingo​

Oh hey, a double bingo! It’s kind of freaking me out that there are only four left. But yay for progress!

Prompt: bthb - anger born of worry ; whumptober - support

Fandom: Ninjago

Character: Zane

Summary: Jay hasn’t been taking care of himself. Zane is tired of it.

Trigger Warnings: self hate/deprecation

Requested By: @razzle-zazzle​

1092 words

Zane had noticed that Jay was spiraling. 

It wasn’t like Jay was doing a good job of hiding it. He’d been holeng himself up in his workshop for days, now. He only ate when one of the others all but dragged him to the kitchen, and even then, as soon as they were done, it was right back to the workshop.

The others often found Jay asleep over his workbench, and would have to carry him back to bed themselves. They didn’t mind too much. They just wanted to make sure he was actually sleeping.

By the time anyone ever woke up the next morning, Jay was already gone.

Zane was getting increasingly worried about him. He wasn’t eating enough, he wasn’t sleeping enough, and quite frankly, he was in desperate need of a shower.

Zane hadn’t been the only one to voice his concerns. But Jay kept waving them off, promising he’d do better.

He was not, in fact, doing better.

Zane was getting sick of it. Jay wasn’t taking care of himself at all, and if he had anything to say about it, it wasn’t going to continue.

Zane opened the door to the workshop, disappointed but not surprised to find Jay slaving away over some new project. Again.

He was still wearing his clothes from yesterday.

“Hello, Jay,” Zane said, sitting opposite him.

Jay muttered his own greeting, but didn’t even look up from what he was doing.

Zane sighed. He needed to be gentle about this. 

“I am worried about you.” There was no point in beating around the bush. He had come here to express his concerns, and he was going to do just that.

“Yeah,” Jay said, nodding absently.

Zane pushed down the frustration and instead opted to try again. “Jay, I said I’m worried about you.”

“Why?” Jay asked, as if his recent behavior hadn’t been incredibly worrying.

“You haven’t been taking care of yourself,” Zane said, gently prying the screwdriver Jay was holding from his hand. Jay finally looked up.

“So?”

…So? What in the first master’s name did he mean, so?

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Zane said, a frown tugging at his lips.

“I’m doing you guys a favor. I’m more useful in here than I am out there,” Jay said, stating it so factually that Zane actually had to take a moment to process that. That… was the dumbest thing Zane had ever heard Jay say, actually. 

How could he think so little of himself? Was it something someone had done? There had to be a reason he was acting like this.

Zane couldn’t remember anything that would have set him off like this, but maybe he just hadn’t been paying close enough attention. Clearly, it had been something bad.

“Besides, I’m doing pretty alright.”

“You absolutely are not!” he yelled. Jay’s eyes widened, but Zane couldn’t help himself. “You’re acting like a child, throwing a tantrum over something that can’t be fixed because you won’t tell us what’s wrong! What is going on with you?”

Judging by the hurt expression on his face, Zane may have sounded just a bit too harsh there. But it wasn’t as if Jay didn’t deserve it, if he was being honest. Zane had a long fuse, and Jay had found his way to the end of it. He couldn’t — wouldn’t — stand for this anymore. If Jay wouldn’t treat himself well, then Zane would make him.

“It can’t be fixed!” Jay yelled, tears glittering in his eyes. “And you’re right, I am a child! I’m a worthless, good for nothing, stupid little idiot! I shouldn’t be here, all I do is get people hurt!” He screamed.

“I swear to Lloyd’s grandfather — wait, what? When did you get someone hurt?” Zane asked, his anger slowly melting to what had been underneath the whole time: concern. 

Jay’s eyes widened, the action causing tears to escape and fall down his cheek. He blinked the rest away furiously. 

“I — forget I said anything — it doesn’t matter.”

“Tell me, Jay. I’m not letting you leave until you do,” Zane said, crossing his arms.

Jay glanced between him and the door, probably plotting an escape that he wouldn’t be able to enact. He knew he wouldn’t get further than a step in before Zane froze him to the floor. And he would do it, too. He wasn’t letting Jay out of this that easily.

“It’s nothing,” Jay insisted, staring hard at the workbench. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Too late,” Zane said, narrowing his gaze and all but glaring at his brother. “I’m perfectly fine with staying here all night if we need to.”

“Have fun with that.”

“You need to take care of yourself, dammit! I don’t care if you tell me, Nya, Cole, anyone, you just need to tell someone!” Zane demanded.

“It’s not a problem that can be fixed!” Jay insisted. He buried his face in his hands, breathing deeply. “It. Doesn’t. Matter.” he muttered.

“Bullshit. It does matter, because anything that has you acting like this is clearly a problem. I care about you Jay, why don’t you care about yourself?”

“All I do is hurt the people that I love,” Jay sobbed, his hands still covering his face. “I don’t want to be the burden that I am, but maybe if I try to do something useful…”

“Jay, listen to me,” Zane said, lowering his volume. He didn’t need to be screaming right now, as much as he wanted to. It wouldn’t get them anywhere and would likely only send Jay spiralling further. “You are not a burden.”

“You’re just saying that,” Jay sniffled.

“Have I ever lied to you?”

Jay looked up, moving his hands slightly so he could at least see Zane. He looked at him for a long time. “No,” he finally muttered.

“Exactly. You know I wouldn’t lie to you. Especially not about this.”

Jay wiped his face with the hem of his shirt. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong?” Zane asked.

Jay sighed. “It’s just a stupid little nightmare.”

“Nightmare?”

“Memory — nightmare — it can’t be a memory if it never happened, huh?” Jay asked, laughing bitterly. “I dunno why the universe wanted me to remember, of all people!”

“…Remember what?”

“It doesn’t matter, it never even happened anyway.”

Zane raised his eyebrows, and Jay withered under his gaze. “Please, for your own health, you need to tell someone. I can get Nya, or someone else. It doesn’t have to be me.”

“No, no. I’ll tell you.”

[ninjapolis]

I’m on a roll so I’m going to infodump about my other OCs, some of which may be related to canon characters but they aren’t fankids

Ages are in my and my sister’s main timeline

Celia Brookstone: 21, she/her, bi. As my first OC (not just for Ninjago, I think she may be my first OC in general), Celia started out extremely OP and has gone through an extensive evolution. Originally she was Cole’s sister and the EM of Magic (um, what), but now she’s his paternal cousin and a normal girl who just has an affinity for witchcraft and the occult. I haven’t had the chance to establish her personality with my sister, since we’re thinking up cooler things.

Irina Chen: 26 at death, she/her, bi, former EM of Amber. Irina is actually my newest OC! She’s Skylor’s mother, and by extension Chen’s (former) wife. She’s also Clouse’s older sister. She doesn’t really care if you try to hurt her, but if you try to hurt her baby she will cut you. One main example is that Clouse poisoned her, which caused her death, but when Lloyd finds her she says that she forgives him. She got along well with the other elemental masters, especially the former master of Wind, Nylla. Essentially I love her, she’s cute and she’s a great mom after the ninja find her and help her reunite with her family. She looks around 31/32, because she’s aging at 1/3 of the rate of the living.

Louis Chen: Unborn at death, he/him. Louis is Irina and Chen’s second child, who Irina was pregnant with when she died. He would be 17 if he wasn’t aging super slowly, but he looks 5. He loves Chen and Lloyd, begging Lloyd to play with him whenever possible (Chen is alive in this AU like Garmadon and Morro). While Skylor looks like Irina with Chen’s hair, Louis looks like Chen with Irina’s hair. 

Nylla: 31 at death, she/her, bi, former EM of Wind. Nylla was Morro’s mother, who was cold to most people she didn’t trust. If she liked and trusted you, she was extremely sweet, especially towards her son. She died when Morro was 10, causing his father to start abusing him and leading to Morro running away and eventually becoming Wu’s student. She currently hasn’t shown up in any of my and my sister’s roleplays.

Mirabelle: Unknown age (appears to be in her 20s), she/her, pan/aro, EM of Vision. Mirabelle used to just be a human girl, but she had an incident with Nadakhan and now nobody knows what exactly she is. She leads a circus, and a few people from each show are thrust into their greatest fantasies until their bodies die from dehydration and she can feed on their life force. She’s the antagonist of a fanseason I’m working on with my sister, Ninjago: Fever Dream. Her abilities can heal or degrade other people’s eyesight, or cause hallucinations. She’s legally blind, and she’s the only person who’s eyesight she can’t alter.

Sensei Neido: Unknown age (old), he/him, gay, EM of Imagination. He’s not really an OC, just an almost-completely revamped character from LEGO Universe. He teaches four students who all have some sort of parallel to one of the ninja for the most part. He’s an old friend of Wu and Garmadon, and there’s evidence he felt something more for Wu when they were younger. He’s introduced when he finds Kai injured in the woods where his monastery is and tends to his wounds.

Andrew Emily: 17, he/him, bi, EM of Gas. He was Neido’s first student. When introduced, Andrew is irritable, and he thinks his team is made of idiots. He eventually warms up to them, and in the future AU he’s in a polyamorous relationship with the other 3. His element allows him to manipulate any gas.

Brandon Mcbride: 17, he/him, pan, EM of Animals. He was Neido’s third student. When introduced, he’s extremely antisocial, preferring to talk to the bugs in the monastery. He later becomes friends with and then starts dating the others. His element allows him to communicate with animals of all kinds.

Cassandra: 17, she/her, bi, EM of Magma. She was Neido’s final student, coming from an island in the middle of the ocean. As such, she starts out with limited knowledge of how things work in Ninjago, and her huge temper doesn’t help her. She’s the tallest of the group. She later becomes friends with and then starts dating the others. Her element allows her to manipulate magma/lava.

There’s another member of this group, but they belong to my sister @amaryllis56-main.

Jonathan Reynolds: 17, he/him, gay. He’s from the future AU. He’s a high school senior who looked at Alex, an extreme disaster pan sophomore who will commit arson if he wishes and said “yep, he’s the one.” He’s extremely popular and charismatic, and Alex thinks he’s pretty much perfect.

[goodbye-cyrusborg]

23 minutes

plasma fic. soulmate au/depressing themes : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953549 

He feels the fire dancing on his palms. Every other hour, exactly 23 minutes in each time, he can feel the heat begging him to implode.

Jay didn’t like how his hands felt like they were on fire.

Every other hour, at around the 23 minute mark, his palms felt like they were touching a scorching hot pan, wanting nothing more than to burn his hands off. He seriously felt like he was going to implode each and every time -- literally so much so that he had to head to the pharmacy to get some instant soulmate pain relief pills, hoping to God it’d dull the pain if not for just a moment. He didn’t know how much more he could take of this.

Jay had his fair share of pain in his life. Literally being a saviour of the city meant he was in nothing but pain half the time, but this was something different entirely -- soulmate pain was intensified tenfold. The scientists dedicating their life to solving ‘soulmates’ had only scratched the surface, but they had said that it was as if the pain was a warning to those who felt it -- it was likely they were in danger. Jay didn’t know how to feel about that.

In 9th grade, he began dating Nya in spite of the pain he felt. In 11th he met his soulmate, and he really didn’t know how to feel about that, either. It was, without a doubt, Kai, Nya’s brother, and he knew it’d be his downfall. He was the only person he had ever met who could light a fire on his hands at will, and he doubted anyone else would purposefully do that; this meant he’d inevitably leave the actual love of his life, Nya, and hurt her in the process. How was he supposed to deal with some stupid universe deciding he’d end up with his first-ever girlfriend’s brother? He wasn’t even gay. Not to mention he hardly ever talked to Kai. How was this supposed to work? Kai hardly ever talked to anyone other than Lloyd and Nya. He had his own little group, and that was that.

He used to be fine with it. Now he’s not.

For the past few weeks, he had been watching Kai get up mid-lesson to stop some random crook stealing a purse for no reason other than wanting to feel better about himself. When he saw him do it for the first time, he hadn’t thought anything of it, but quickly learned it was something to care about - Kai would get hit a lot whenever stopping the crooks, and likely activate his powers, too.

Jay had to start bringing the pills to class.

Nya started noticing things were weird with him after about a month of him staring intently at her brother. She had asked Jay what was wrong after a class one day, but he brushed it off as nothing, telling her not to worry -- this sparked something in her, because the following day, she had approached Kai.

It was lunchtime, of course, and Nya had just asked Kai the million-dollar question: What’s up with Jay? He didn’t know how to answer, so he just shrugged and prayed to God she’d be fine with it. Kai didn’t want to open his mouth.

In truth, Kai had noticed Jay staring at him, but said nothing. He really didn’t want another reason to not want to go to school, or to avoid Jay. He was lucky he had gotten through this much of highschool without talking to him, let alone when they were on patrols together. He wanted nothing more than to make his sister happy.

That’s probably why he hated the whole ‘having a crush on his sister’s boyfriend’ thing.

He knew that no matter the circumstance, dating her ex would end in complete disaster. Nya would hate the both of them, and he would end up with a third member of the family who had abandoned him. He couldn’t go through that again. He wouldn’t be able live with himself.

He clenched his fists, allowing his nails to dig into his skin. Seconds passed as he contemplated the impact he’d have on everyone if he got together with Jay. Him. His fingers dug in more, only reminding him of how much he hated that he couldn’t feel anything. He felt like a freak.

He clenched them harder. He saw a drop of blood hit the lunch table. His sister’s head turned to look at him she noticed the blood with an indignant look on her face. She said something he couldn’t hear. This happens a lot, and each and every time, almost nothing can snap him out of this st--

He heard a soft whimper come from across the table, the sound so quiet he was sure he wasn’t supposed to hear it. It came from Jay, as the boy cradled his hand on the table with a never-ending smile. He looked completely fine, so why did he sound like he was in pain mere seconds ago? God, he was so stupid. How could he just not notice Jay’s pain? He felt disappointment aimed towards himself rise in his stomach.

He was hesitant to do anything. Had he accidentally done anything to Jay earlier? Did he burn him by accident during a patrol? No, he made sure Jay never got too close. Did he break his wrist again? He so desperately wanted to ask him what was going on, if he was okay, but his sister was right there. He couldn’t risk Nya suspecting anything at all. He didn’t want her to leave, too.

As if a wind came to blow the thoughts away, he cocked his head slightly when Jay’s hand relaxed the second he unstrained his. Did… did he do that? Was the pain on his palm because of him? He knew what this meant. He wanted to throw up.

Jay couldn’t believe this was happening. One moment, Nya was telling off Kai for bleeding on the table, his hand in excruciating pain, and the next, it was as if nothing ever happened. Kai had moved his fingers away, and the pain had subsided. But no, that wasn’t even the weirdest part -- Kai had been looking at him the whole time. He felt like Kai knew he was inflicting pain on him, and the consequences that came from that; he felt like he was doing it as a test to see if he was his soulmate.

Jay didn’t stop him as Kai quickly got up and excused himself from the lunch table, but Nya certainly didn’t stop Jay from getting up to go after him, either. She just... Let them go, with a suspicious yet sad look on her face. Did she know? He wanted to ask her desperately, but now wasn’t the time; Kai had decided to walk down the hall openly, heading towards the doors that lead out of the school. 

He didn’t have much time to say something. “Hey, Kai!” He exclaimed, jogging a bit to catch up to him. Why was his heart beating so fast? It was like he couldn’t feel anything other than the tingly sensation of his pulse and the pumping sound in his ears. He didn’t know if he liked how it felt. He felt like he was on drugs.

Kai slowly stopped, turning back to look at him cautiously. His face was tinted a paler shade than usual. Jay didn’t like how sick he looked. “Kai, are you okay?” He asked lowly, even though no one else was around to hear it. Kai, do you know?

He gave Jay a wobbly smile. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had a little accident with my hand. It’s no biggie.” Please don’t talk to me anymore. I could ruin everything.

“A-are you sure?” Jay dared to ask a question he knew he shouldn’t be asking, followed by a sentence he knew he should never have even considered saying -- this would break the walls that were so meticulously constructed, each brick a certain memory that helped protect him and his friends from harm. Not to mention it would likely wreck their lives. Every last word of would say next could only cause destruction, and Jay knew that. He knew it’d break Nya’s heart, and he knew this was the one thing he literally should never have said under any circumstance. “It-it really hurt. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Kai swore he heard the sound of glass shattering.

“‘It really hurt,’” he echoed back. Jay nodded slowly. “You-you felt that?”

Jay could hardly hear. His ears were ringing, and his heart was beating way faster than it was a minute ago. Was this normal? He felt like he was on an adrenaline high. Why did he feel like this?

He nodded again, slower this time. Kai was speechless. Jay Walker was his soulmate. Jay Walker was his fucking soulmate. He was going to cry. “You,” he started, his voice weak and wavering, “you’re-you’re my soulmate.” It was a statement. Jay nodded a third time. “Oh my God.”

Jay would’ve thought it was a bad ‘oh God’ if it weren’t for the hands around his neck and the body against his front side. His legs felt numb. His brain felt dead. He didn’t like how vulnerable he seemed.

“Y-yeah, I guess I am.”

Kai pulled back, smiling softly at him. He looked like he had just been reunited with a childhood friend. “You don’t understand how happy this makes me,” he seemed to whisper. Jay couldn’t help but say the same.

[malicerewatchesdoctorwho]

The Faceless Ones - Episode Six

Written by - David Ellis and Malcolm Hulke   Director - Gerry Mill   Producer - Innes Lloyd   Animation Director - Annemarie Walsh   Animation Producer - Annemarie Walsh

Episode Six

("There are two categories.  People like your Director and that man over there, whose Originals are safe on board here. And then there are people like you two whose Originals have been left behind at Gatwick Airport.  If they're tampered with, you're finished." - The Doctor giving some friendly advice to some of the Chameleons whose bodies are still at the Airport.)

Likes

- Sign for Magpie Electricals.  I love the Eater eggs in this one.  They're great, and I am sure I have missed a ton of them.

- The Master poster on the Wanted board in the police station XD

- Jean and Samantha being the ones to find where the Originals are kept. 

- Pfff, why does Samantha have this thing going with Jamie?  Jean is much better for her and stops her being so annoying.  Sam/Jean. 

- Hahaha, yes.  The Chameleons realising the weak little brainless humans have found their hiding spot and gave them a demonstration. 

- The Commandant calling Jamie Scotty because he never bothered remembering his name.  I have no idea why I find that so funny, since most of this episode and the end of the last, he didn't even use his Scottish accent. 

- :(  The Doctor telling Ben and Polly that they're lucky to get back to their world and time, as he never got back to his.  Sad, not because he never got to go home, but for what happens when he finally does.  Just....why?

- I actually really like Ben and Polly's leaving scene.  They leave for good reasons, they're back in their own time and there's been no change to their lives outside being with the Doctor.  They got back where they belong, which is not what a lot of companions can say.

- Jamie starts crying and the Doctor gives him a one armed hug.  It's so sweet.  And they're both sad to see them go.  

Dislikes

- Blade calling the Doctor human.  Gets me every damn time for the first two Doctor's.  Only having one heart at this point, fine.  It could be considered a disability that he grows out of as he gets older and with his third body grows it out.  But human?  Was he not there when he was told the Doctor had a mind far better than a human could have? Just...what.

- Oh my gosh, seriously. I really don't like the Director and how big his ego is.  Yeah, he was told last episode right at the end that the Doctor was smarter than he is, and now he is saying to the Doctor's face that he and his species are the most intelligent beings in the universe.  Must be an alternate universe.  I mean, wow, seriously.

- Why did Meadows run? He's been cooperative the whole time since being found out. 

- No kissing Jamie, Samantha.  You go on to kiss Jean, who is a better person for you.

Awesome

- I like the Chameleons without the Human suit on blinking.  That would look awesome if we got to actually see it, but it looks great in the animated version regardless.  Nice little special effect.

- The noises of the machine to copy a person.  I have no idea why, but it just sounded oddly cute.  

Shitty

- None.   I...didn't actually have any troubles with this one here.  There was probably some things, but they were so small to me I didn't even bother.  I think this is the second time this has happened.  Wow.

In Conclusion

Yes, I loved it.  I am so glad I did.  The Chameleons got to keep their lives, the young people got to keep theirs and the only deaths were to prove a point in the only way they could in that time or to stop the deal from going through ensuring everyone lived. Yes, a nice ending for nearly everyone.

I also really liked the ending Ben and Polly got.  Which cannot be said for a lot of companions this early in the show.

I also like the Doctor comforting Jamie.

I still say Samantha is better off with Jean, who would keep her behaviour in line.

Body count - 3. Chameleon Inspector Crossland and Chameleon Jamie, by the ray gun of Chameleon Blade.  And one of the chameleons by one of the cops on Earth.  

The Faceless Ones as a Whole

I really enjoy this one and would definitely recommend watching it.  Mystery, an alien species that took the nice route out and got to not be blown to bits because they can see reasons and have sense.  Very few actual deaths for once.  And none caused by the TARDIS team. 

We also now get to watch the end of Ben and Polly's run, which is very nice.  The Doctor encouraging them to stick together and hep each other out, Ben to climb the ranks of the Navy to become Admiral and Polly to look out for him.  I didn't see this one as romantic.  More like Mickey and Jackie stick together in modern Who do.  They both know each other already and both know about the Doctor and can talk openly with each other about him. 

Not having the companions leave because they fall in love with the closest person to them is nice.

The only part I didn't really like is the repetitive nature of the second episode and Samantha.

[anarchistemma]

Jerry Lewis. No comedian since Charles Chaplin has been so loved and so reviled. He is America’s Dark Prince of Comedy--brilliant, bitter, passionate and deeply conflicted. A man of many demons, his cockiness conceals a labyrinth of doubts and self-destructive impulses. An American original whom Americans have never quite come to terms with, he also happens to be one of the greatest filmmakers of the latter half of the 20th century. And for this he deserves an Academy Award.

It’s not surprising that he’s never even been nominated for one. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has a tradition of snubbing comedians. The list of those whose movies failed to win a single Oscar is appallingly long and distinguished: Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Harry Langdon, Mabel Normand, the Marx Brothers, W.C. Fields, Abbott and Costello, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, Lucille Ball, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, to name a few. The academy finally gave Keaton an honorary Oscar in 1960, and one to Stan Laurel in 1961 (after Lewis lobbied passionately on his behalf), and even one to Charlie Chaplin in 1972, bringing the once-demonized “un-American” director back to Hollywood after 20 years of exile in Europe.

Now it’s time to honor Jerry Lewis.

Lewis was a superstar in the 1950s and early ‘60s, the I Like Ike era of “The Organization Man,” when a Wonder Bread corporate monoculture force-fed an entire generation a bland diet of conformity. In a time of crew cuts and bouffant hairdos, of TV dinners, suburban tract houses, gleaming new supermarkets and the homogenized nuclear family paradigm set forth by “Father Knows Best” and “Leave It to Beaver,” Lewis’ archetypal character, “the Kid,” served as an escape valve--a personification of the American id, cavorting across TV and movie screens, acting on the anarchistic impulses his audiences felt obliged to repress.

“We used to hang out on street corners, and guys would do Jerry Lewis imitations,” says Philip Kaufman, director of “The Right Stuff” and “The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” who came of age in the 1950s. “The way that Jerry Lewis walked, that staggering, uncoordinated adolescent walk--you could feel the American youth culture being born. . . . Lewis and Elvis had this primordial American energy.”

Lewis gradually filled his comic archetype with nuances and complexities, so that it continued to resonate on deeper and yet deeper levels. He did this by becoming what he calls “a total filmmaker,” as Chaplin and Keaton had been. When Lewis began appearing in movies in 1949, he set about learning the technical intricacies of every aspect of production. “After about a year and a half I was able to load a BNC [35mm Mitchell] camera and do anything on the set that any technician did--maybe not with the quality of a man who’s done it for 25 years, but if he got sick, I could do it,” Lewis told me in an interview in December 2003. “I know depth of field like you know your wife’s first name. . . . I therefore proceeded to own every union card in the picture business.” Along the way, he also managed to invent the video assist, which allowed him to instantly replay scenes he’d just shot--now standard equipment on most Hollywood sets.

Once he’d mastered the filmmaking process, Lewis dared to declare his independence from the studio system. He wrote, directed and starred in a series of features that he also co-financed with his own money. “I mortgaged my house a couple of times, sold two cars, I remember that!” Lewis told me. In exchange for putting up half or sometimes the entire budgets of the films he directed, he got 50% or more of the profits and a level of creative autonomy that no screen comedian had commanded since Chaplin. “I had final cut on everything,” he said.

“I would love to have achieved the level of independence that he had,” Kaufman says. “The opposite is Orson Welles. He’s a half a generation before Jerry Lewis, but he gets destroyed because he can’t control the films.”

The movies Lewis directed--including “The Bellboy” (1960), “The Ladies Man” (1961), “The Errand Boy” (1961), “The Nutty Professor” (1963) and “The Patsy” (1964)--were bizarre stream-of-consciousness concoctions packed with brilliant pantomime set pieces and surreal comic nightmare sequences, moving Rorschach inkblots that reflected Lewis’ deeply conflicted psyche. “They were not regular Hollywood films,” says director Martin Scorsese. “There were no stories. No plots. They were very dreamlike, going from one free association to the next, almost like the later Luis Bunuel pictures, like ‘The Phantom of Liberty,’ which was a dream within a dream within a dream. You know you’re in the hands of a master; you just let him take you along. His films were almost avant-garde.”

Like Buster Keaton, Scorsese says, Lewis had an uncanny ability to pour his subconscious onto a movie screen, creating phantasmagoric visions permeated with disturbing psychological undertones. Unlike Keaton, Lewis often worked in color. He urged his cinematographer, W. Wallace Kelley, to pump huge amounts of light onto his sets until the comic book hues popped off the screen. “Lewis’ use of color has influenced many filmmakers, [such as] the way David Lynch uses color, and Pedro Almodovar,” Scorsese says.

In the mid-'60s, European critics--the French, most famously, or infamously, depending on your point of view--embraced Lewis as a genius, an heir to Chaplin and Keaton. Chagrined American critics sputtered outrage. They saw Lewis as a vulgarian, a pretentious, sentimental egomaniac who was a tad less subtle than the Three Stooges, and a lot less funny. And those were the good reviews. “Mr. Lewis is a frenetic performer,” wrote Eugene Archer of the New York Times, “but he lacks a point . . . a rubber-limbed robot making faces in a void.” Harriet Van Horne of the World Telegram wrote of a Lewis performance, “you flinch from the soulless vulgarity of his spastic twitches and low-class leers.” In his 1968 book “The American Cinema,” Andrew Sarris demeaned not only Lewis, but also his fans. “Lewis appeals to unsophisticated audiences in the sticks and to ungenteel audiences in the urban slums,” Sarris wrote. “He is bigger on 42nd Street, for example, than anyplace else in the city.”

Lewis seemed to scuttle any chance that American intellectuals would change their minds by taking the fight to the enemy. He wrote nasty letters to reviewers and denounced them on television and radio. He said they were “caustic, rude, unkind and sinister. . . . They’re burying the business they’re paid by.” And in his most infamous salvo, blasted in a 1981 Los Angeles Times interview, he called them “whores.”

But beneath his belligerence one sensed the man had been deeply wounded. In a telling passage in his landmark 1971 book about moviemaking, “The Total Film-maker,” Lewis confessed: “I cannot sit at certain tables at the Directors Guild because I make what some people consider is a ‘hokey’ product. John Frankenheimer waves and hopes that no one else sees his hand, simply because I film pratfalls and spritz water and throw pies.”

In countless magazine profiles and biographies, Lewis has been vividly portrayed as a tantrum-throwing egomaniac. But there is another side. I’ve talked with many people who worked with Lewis over the years--including his longtime collaborators, writer Bill Richmond and comedienne Kathleen Freeman--who told me stories of his private acts of extraordinary kindness and generosity. Peter Bogdanovich tells of how Lewis befriended him when he was a poor, young aspiring filmmaker--lending him a car, allowing him to screen movies at Paramount and charge the cost to Lewis’ production company. “He’s been a good friend to me for more than 40 years,” Bogdanovich says. When I first interviewed Lewis a year ago, I found him to be a perceptive, articulate but deeply divided man who oscillated during the course of our one-hour conversation from laughter to anger to tears. His ability to infuse his movies with these seething emotions gave them their strange emotional charge, and helped make them audacious and poetic works of art.

In “The Bellboy” and “The Errand Boy,” Lewis’ Kid finds himself wandering through sprawling corporate complexes: the ultramodern curvilinear interiors of Miami Beach’s Fontainebleau hotel, and the cavernous soundstages and maze-like streets and corridors of a movie studio. He desperately tries to mesh with the gears of the industrial combine, but his inability to function with the automaton efficiency of his co-workers inevitably causes catastrophe. “There’s a sense in which he’s a modern man, a universal figure confronted with modernity, with bosses and difficult jobs, and especially with a fast pace that’s difficult to keep up with,” says Henry Sheehan, critic for KPCC-FM and KCET.

There are haunting moments that evoke the lonely yearnings of the alienated in America’s increasingly institutionalized society, such as the brilliant pantomimes in which the Kid conducts an imaginary orchestra or imagines himself to be a movie mogul holding forth in a deserted boardroom. Or the scene where the Kid is assigned the Sisyphean task of setting up more than 1,000 chairs in an auditorium the size of a football field. Lewis films from one wide angle, holding the shot as the Kid recedes farther and farther into the great hollow hall. “When he started directing his own pictures there was a powerful visual sense,” Scorsese says. “It was almost as if the films were drawn by hand--animated. Something was very arresting about the way Lewis designed his scenes and shot them, the way he focused the eye of the audience.”

In the middle of “The Bellboy,” the Kid is ordered to help with the luggage of an arriving celebrity: Jerry Lewis, the movie star. Lewis the star arrives in a limousine with a huge retinue of yes-men and sycophants. “That kind of thing was refreshing and brilliant,” Scorsese says. “It opened the audience’s mind. What is the reality? We know we’re watching a film. We know it’s directed by him. We know he’s in control. Then he shows up as a film star within the movie! It plays with your sense of what reality is and what cinema is--and also what celebrity is.” In a culture obsessed with celebrity, Lewis shows us that a star is as objectified as a Playboy centerfold, and his existence at the top of the ladder every bit as lonely as that of the Kid at the bottom. The entourage of Jerry Lewis the movie star laughs at his every remark. When he tearfully reveals that a beloved aunt just died, the crowd howls with unhinged hilarity. “Nothing like a laugh!” someone screams.

In “The Ladies Man,” the Kid serves as a gofer in a boarding house full of young women. Lewis built the entire mansion--four stories tall, including a stairway and working elevator--on two soundstages at Paramount, with the fourth wall of every room cut away, like a giant dollhouse, so the camera could swoop on a crane from room to room, each of which was pre-lighted and wired for sound. It was another groundbreaking technical innovation, and a fantastic dreamscape through which Lewis’ imagination ran wild. In one spectacular crane shot, Lewis pulls back to show the entire dollhouse. “That shot is so striking,” Scorsese says. “In a funny way, it had something to do with the way I did a shot in ‘Gangs of New York’ in the beginning of the film, showing the [multileveled] hell of the old brewery

Scorsese found more inspiration in Lewis’ masterpiece, “The Nutty Professor,” in the famous sequence that occurs after Professor Kelp has transformed himself into the incandescent lounge lizard Buddy Love. At first we do not see Love. Instead we see the world through his eyes. In an intricately choreographed tracking shot, Love walks through the street toward the Purple Pit nightclub and various passersby react with astonishment to his high-voltage charisma. “I use that as an example of the kind of point-of-view shots that I use,” Scorsese says. In “Gangs of New York,” he told his assistant director, Joseph Reidy, that he wanted to choreograph a similar point-of-view shot in the scene where Amsterdam Vallon (Leonardo DiCaprio) places a rabbit pelt on a Five Points fence as a declaration of war. “I am constantly referring back to Lewis’ work,” Scorsese says.

Lewis explored the polarities of his personality--the lonely kid he had been in his youth and still felt himself to be, and the polished persona he presented on television and in live performances--not only in “The Bellboy,” but also in “Cinderfella” (directed by Frank Tashlin and produced by Lewis) and “The Errand Boy.” This theme reached its full and most complex expression in “The Nutty Professor.” The movie is an extended investigation of Lewis the public performer, and his insecure inner self. But more than a movie star’s exercise in self-absorption, it is a meditation on the American model of masculinity. Lewis acknowledges its pathology even as he admits that he cannot free himself of his aspiration to embody it. In the climax of the movie, Buddy Love transforms back into Professor Kelp before a stunned crowd of college students. Kelp makes a heartfelt speech about the fallacy of trying to create a false personality to please others and the need for self-acceptance, and there’s not a dry eye in the house. But in the film’s denouement, as Kelp leaves for his wedding with heartthrob Stella (Stella Stevens), the director reveals that she has stuffed two bottles of Kelp’s magic tonic in the pockets of her jeans--an admission that there’s a dark, erotic power to Love’s aggressive posturing that Americans find irresistible, despite whatever lip service they may pay to the values of sensitivity and brains.

“Lewis’ sense of burlesque is a strange type of comedy because it’s full of anxiety,” says director Barbet Schroeder (“Barfly,” “Single White Female”). “It’s a tragic vision that makes you laugh. . . . And all that is completely personal and completely extraordinary. He took burlesque comedy one step further, like any great artist, to a very freaky, disturbing modern tone.”

In 1977, someone at an American Film Institute seminar asked Lewis why his films hadn’t been rediscovered, as those of other great comics had been. “They wait until you die,” he snapped. Until recently, it looked as if Lewis might be right. During the last decade, a series of serious health problems--bouts of meningitis and pulmonary fibrosis--forced him to cancel live engagements and spend long stretches in the hospital. But last year, Lewis bounced back. He returned home from the hospital, and in the fall he released sparkling wide-screen DVD transfers of 10 movies from his golden period, complete with outtakes and commentary tracks.

And the damnedest thing happened. They got good reviews. The New York Times published not one but two rave notices. In the second one, Dave Kehr wrote: “Is it finally time to stop with the French-love-him jokes and acknowledge that Jerry Lewis is one of the great American filmmakers?” Kehr noted that the DVDs “reveal both the fierce creativity of his comic performances and the extreme formal sophistication of his direction. The centerpiece is the 1963 ‘The Nutty Professor’ . . . a study in split personality that both anticipates Ingmar Bergman’s 1966 ‘Persona’ and surpasses it in psychological acuity. It’s also a lot funnier.”

In December 2004, the Library of Congress concluded that “The Nutty Professor” is a movie of lasting cultural significance, worthy of preservation, and added it to the National Film Registry. Then in January, Lewis received a career achievement award from the Los Angeles Film Critics Assn. The explanation for this turnaround is simple: As older critics retired, a new generation replaced them. They had come of age in the 1950s and ‘60s and had spent the better part of their youth in the dark, watching Jerry Lewis and laughing till they just about wet their pants. “For me, personally, the impact of watching ‘The Nutty Professor’ as a boy in a drive-in in the Valley was huge,” says Robert Koehler, who writes for Variety. “It was the first time I had felt a weird sense of terror, horror and comedy all in one fell swoop. I’d never felt that before in a movie. There was something going on here besides just another Hollywood comedy. There was a sense of wild theatrics. I was only 7 years old at the time; I couldn’t even put my finger on it, but it so absolutely impressed my young mind.”

As they grew older, like Morty S. Tashman in “The Errand Boy,” these young fans made their way to Hollywood to become part of show business. Their film school professors and older critics had told them Lewis was vulgar and tasteless, but they went back and watched the movies and didn’t believe it. “I always thought he was funny, from the first time I came to him, at 9 years old,” says Henry Sheehan, president of the L.A. critics association. “Once I grew older and learned something about composition and the mechanics of gags, I was full of admiration for him. I think my experience is pretty common for people my age.”

For years a growing number of Lewis supporters had been urging the association to give the comedian the career achievement award. This year the membership suddenly agreed. “It was pretty widely supported,” Koehler says. “In the past there have been complaints. The first year I was in the group, his name was brought up and some people were openly contemptuous. I heard none of that this time. I don’t know why. I think it’s the test of time.”

As the night of the awards ceremony approached, a question loomed: How would Lewis react? Would he be able to drop the contentious attitude he’d held against his old adversaries for more than half a century? When I talked with him shortly after the award had been announced, he seemed to be struggling for his equilibrium. “I don’t really know how I’m going to deal with it,” he admitted, then murmured something about handling it with grace. But when he talked with other journalists, some of the old fighting verbiage crept into his remarks. He told Larry King the award was “the best revenge I’ve ever had.” And to a reporter from the Los Angeles Daily News, he said, “Jesus Christ, is that retribution or not?”

Finally, the moment came. Peter Bogdanovich presented the plaque. Lewis stepped to the podium. His eyes passed over the crowd. “Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. I am delighted to be the recipient of this award. . . . What took so goddamned long?” The room exploded with laughter. Lewis segued smoothly into his Vegas act and did about 10 minutes that had the critics, filmmakers and stars doubled over and gasping for air.

Then he stopped, his voice growing serious. “I would feel somewhat remiss if I didn’t show you something that I believe brought me here tonight,” he said. Film rolled, and on the screen behind him appeared a 35-year-old Jerry Lewis doing the famous Chairman of the Board pantomime from “The Errand Boy,” his gesticulations and mugging timed to the tempo of Count Basie’s “Blues in Hoss’ Flat.” It was much more than funny. It was at once melancholy, poetic and exhilarating. When it was over, the room rose in a howling, hooting standing ovation. The only one of the night.

Now it’s the academy’s turn to step up. A few months ago, Bogdanovich wrote a letter to its president, Frank Pierson, suggesting that Lewis be given an Oscar. I hope the Academy doesn’t take too long. The hour is late. Another great clown and groundbreaking filmmaker, too long ignored, deserves to be honored by his peers.

JL’s yahrzeit

The once and future King of Comedy 👑

[harry-lloyd]

While Season 3 was still shooting, Collider got the opportunity to tour the incredible sets at Paramount Pictures in Hollywood and participate in a series of interviews to talk about all things Legion. Here are the highlights from what actor Harry Lloyd, who’s playing iconic X-Men character Charles Xavier, aka Professor X, said during a group interview on set where he talked about not fully realizing who he would be playing when he was offered the role, what it’s like to take on such a well-known comics character, the homework that he did, how this version is different from what we’ve seen previously, how Charles reacts to meeting his adult son, time travel, the Shadow King, what’s still to come in Episodes 307 and 308, and whether we might see him in the famous wheelchair.

Question:  How does it feel to play Professor X?

HARRY LLOYD:  It’s great. So, I got this call in December saying, “You’ve been offered a part in Legion.” And I was like, “Amazing!” And the breakdown was, “His name is Charles. He’s a war veteran, but believes in the good of humanity.” And I was like, “Sounds interesting.” I didn’t realize. And then, they said, “You’ve gotta Skype with Noah [Hawley] on Monday.” So I spent the weekend watching the first season of Legion, and realized, which I hadn’t done before because I hadn’t seen it, that the X in the title was the big link back to the Marvel Universe. So then, I was talking Noah that Monday and asking him questions, and he was told me about Episode 3, and then about Episodes 7 and 8. He was chatting and saying, “Of course, Charles does this. Charles Xavier . . .” And I was like, “Wait, what?! Oh!” I pretended that I knew, but I hadn’t pieced it together. But then, obviously, that made it even more exciting. I’m not really in the business of being offered parts, out of the blue, so it’s been a wonderful adventure. And then, I had to sort out moving to L.A. for three months. Luckily, my wife and dog and baby all followed me, and it’s been great. It’s such a fun show to work on. Even just doing a few episodes, there’s a crazy creative crew who are always doing really interesting stuff in the camera. They’ll say to you, “This is how it’s written, but we’re gonna do something a bit different.” It’s just really collaborative and playful, and it’s a really close knit, little family. It’s been absolutely brilliant.

Did you look at any previous performances?

LLOYD:  I did my homework. I watched all of Legion, I watched all of the X-Men films, and I’d seen a couple of them, back in the day, and I went to this great comic store, called Mega City Comics in Camden, in London, and I found a really good geek there who found me a lot of different source material. One of my favorite things about Legion is that, having watched the X-Men films, and seeing [James] McAvoy and [Patrick] Stewart in these live-action portrayals of him, and the comics, and the different things that they had in common, but then you look at Legion and it gives you permission to throw that all away, to a certain extent. I’m glad that I saw it, so that I knew what I was getting into. It’s such an irreverent, ridiculous, surreal show, that I didn’t feel that I had to do the straight-laced Charles that we know. The story that we’re telling doesn’t really allow for him to always be in control and very pope-like. He’s a young man, and he’s been thrown into his own story before he’s ready because of what’s happening in the future with David. He’s actually quite lost for most of it. So, to play someone who’s normally quite grounded, thoughtful and deliberate in his actions, and to see him before he gets there, as a young man who’s confused and doubtful and exploring his own powers, and it’s his first time ever on the astral plane, that’s been really fun.

How is your version of the character different from the past live-action versions?

LLOYD:  We started off doing Episode 3, which is entirely in flashback, and that’s the story of how Charles came out of the war and ends up in this sanatorium, or mental institution, and falls in love with Gabrielle. The way he uses his powers, at that point, is to get into the heads of men with PTSD and help them, but he hasn’t really unleashed them, or thought of them, in terms of doing a wider good. He’s still keeping a lid on it, and keeping it very secret and private, and living in hiding himself. And then, he goes and moves to suburbia and has this child, and he stats this new life with this woman. He makes this prototype of a cerebral type contraption. That’s when he sees Farouk, for the first time, in his basement. It’s this man in Morocco, who has the same power as him, and then, this big change happens. When he realizes that he’s not alone, he becomes very serious and quite fraught, and actually abandons his wife and child. He’s quite perturbed by it, but he also cannot avoid it. I felt that he realized that he’d been in denial, for a long time, about what he had, and he has to explore this. Charles, suddenly, is now in the realm of someone else with seemingly even greater powers than he. He’s constantly waking up in a different place, and he feels like he’s in a dream. You realize, watching Dan Stevens’ performance, from the first two seasons, there are so many times when he seems to be reacting to something that’s not there, and it’s very staccato and confused, and it’s almost like he’s in a dream. I found this Charles, who was quite composed in Episode 3, suddenly becoming more like his son, in terms of how he’s reacting to baffling situations.

Since he hasn’t met other mutants yet, how does he react to meeting his adult son?

LLOYD: Before I read the script, I was thinking, “How’s that scene gonna go?” I, myself, have a baby daughter who’s about the same age as baby David is to Charles, and I was imagining that, if I met her when she’s in her 30s, my first reaction would be, “I’m so glad you’re okay. This is great. I’m so excited. I have so much to ask.” But then, very quickly, Charles learns about the reality of the life his son has had, ever since he was given up for adoption, and the miserable life that he’s had, in mental institutions and causing death and dealing with his powers. We haven’t really started filming the aftermath stuff yet, which we’re doing in the next few days, but after then, he’s just massively guilty. It’s very emotional for him, and he’s still just dealing with the joy of having a baby. He doesn’t actually know yet how to be a father, or to take responsibility for his son. For Episode 7, his journey is to take responsibility for this mistake that he made. Trying to save him actually exposed him to this danger, so he wants to help him, and then going into the final episode, they’re now a team.

So, time travel is not a problem for Charles Xavier?

LLOYD:  Time travel is not a problem for Switch, piggybacked by David. So much happens that, suddenly he’s in Morocco, and Charles is a smart guy. We don’t have to telegraph it, but when he’s out of his depth, he’ll also be using his own powers. When he’s looking at someone who he doesn’t understand, he’ll also be reading their mind, so he’s not gonna be quite as lost as someone else. And I feel that he’s someone who after awhile goes, “Maybe I am in a dream, but I’m gonna go with it.” He’s just very perceptive and very thoughtful, and he’s watching. Sometimes things still come out of nowhere, but as you get into the episodes, he embraces the weirdness. And then, when this man turns up, he doesn’t just say, “I’m your son.” He says, “Open your mind.” So, he knows it’s his son. It’s not that he doesn’t believe him because he sees inside. And then, he’s introduced to the astral plane. He’s introduced to so many different facets of the series, quite quickly. It would be too much for some people, but I feel that Charles just about can handle it.

Who was Amahl Farouk, before he was the Shadow King?

LLOYD:  From what I can see, based on the Farouk I’ve seen in the last seasons, and the Amahl that I’ve met in Episode 3, the one simple difference is that Amahl is excited and naughty and playful and mischievous, whereas Farouk is more cynical.

Does this show make you think more about the effect of a parent’s actions on a child’s life?

LLOYD:  Yeah, I think so. When you get to the end Episode 7 and into Episode 8, you’ll really see how that feels, in these scenes that I do with David, in a room that’s in his own mind. He creates a safe place so that we can actually talk and catch up, and that’s when I learn this barrage of information that’s air-dropped into my brain. I think about any parent taking responsibility for aspects of your child that you don’t want to. You can’t disassociate yourself, as you would with anyone else, and be like, “Well, I didn’t do that.” For Charles, parenthood is accepting the whole package.

What do you think is the most important aspect of having Charles in this part of David’s story?

LLOYD:  I think because this is the third and final season, you can’t really wrap it up without at least talking about him. It’s great that you actually get to explore him, and it’s great that you have an episode almost without David, setting him up, in time for this finale. One of my favorite scenes, in Season 1 of Legion, was that scene when he finds himself in a blackboard room, in that university classroom, and he’s piecing it together, through all of the madness. He knows that he must’ve had a father, and he pieces it together. I didn’t know much about it originally, but when I saw that scene, I was like, “Okay, so when are we going to meet him?” It became a big question. Through all of the wackiness and weirdness, that’s something that kept you going. You do want to go back to the beginning and find out when the Shadow King entered his mind. Season 1 played with getting Farouk out, and how slippery is. So, it was very clever to introduce the time travel because we really get to see the heart of the matter, and relive it and change it, rather than talk about it, at a distance. I feel that it’s essential for a cathartic resolution, which hopefully, we’ll be able to provide

Do you get to sit in the wheelchair, at all?

LLOYD:  I haven’t seen it, but we still have some left to shoot. There’s been a little bit of rubbing at the temples, which I feel he just does when he’s turning it up to like 11. If I close my eyes, it’s at level two, but if I touch my temples, it’s an 11. That’s when he’s really focused.

[noa748]

tl;dr new reality

Going through/adding to old notes after months of not touching NR.  There’s a good chunk of chapter written, but man it’s been a real struggle getting back into writing.  It was always liberating to be able to work through certain internal struggles/insecurities via OC Brit, but now writing her feels like crawling into an old skin that doesn’t quite fit anymore.  

Writing NR, weirdly enough, gave me the courage to start seeking real connections with people rather than keeping a safe distance to protect myself.  Writing the cheesy friendships, putting myself in all of those different shoes, personalities and backgrounds, writing people cut from very different cloths learning to mesh and come together for a greater cause... the optimism of the Tales games is actually pretty infectious.  I wanted to be a friend like Lloyd, and the more I envisioned it, the easier it seemed to make lasting friendships.

Unfortunately, life isn’t a Tales game, and sometimes you can’t reach people no matter how much you care.  I wrote much of NR before I really learned what emotional damage was, or how shitty people can be.  The lens with which I view the world has been altered, and it’s hard for me to put myself back in OC Brit’s headspace.  Zelos as potential love interest is laughable to me now - he’s the last person I’d trust, but ironically the one I most relate to.  I try to write Brit helping him work through his damage when I can barely process my own.

OC Brit is this... chunk of optimism in me that I’m fighting to unearth again.  Getting back into writing NR isn’t going to solve my problems, but I think reuniting with the ToS crew has the potential to be just as therapeutic for me as it was when I was a lonely, depressed teenager dealing with my parent’s divorce.  

Also, I SWORE I WOULD FINISH THIS BITCH BEFORE I TURNED THIRTY.  How the hell am I already 26.  Hoooooly shit.  

Despite having beaten ToS a number of times, it’s been years since I’ve played and I’m having difficulty remembering certain details of the plot (as well as where the fuck I was going with certain plot points).  I really need to buckle down and reread all six billion chapters of my damn story as well as watch some LPs.  As I’ve changed jobs, for the first time in 5 years I actually have free time and adequate sleep so I can quite possibly write something.

For those of you who can’t remember where we left off, we are currently at the point in the game where the group visits certain places in Tethe’alla so that the Tethe’allans can decide which world they want to stay on.  This will be my time to get used to writing all these children characters again.  Feel free to send me links to some good ToS fanfics, those will get me thinking again...

As a bonus, here’s a snippet of the next chapter (hint: they’re all playing Two Truths and a Lie)

“Okay.  Soooo… let’s see…” It was Zelos’ turn again, and he was grinning wickedly.  “Oh, I know.  One… when I was twelve, I had a pet manticore for three weeks.  Two… I’ve had a fan gift me a doll made with locks of her hair.  And three—I’ve dated five women at the same time.”

Sheena and I groaned, Regal pressed a hand to his chin, and Colette giggled and clapped her hands.  Zelos was the worst, and he was winning this game by a landslide.  He just had too many weird stories.

“What was the manticore’s name?” I demanded.

“Manny,” Zelos replied.

I smacked my forehead.  “Manny the manticore?  Are you kidding me?”

“C’mon, I was twelve!”

Sheena heaved a sigh.  “Okay, I’ll bite.  Why did you have a manticore as a pet?”

“It had a broken leg.  I was nursing it back to health.” He shrugged.  “In the sewers, of course.  Nobody really knew about it.”

“Aw, Zelos, that’s so sweet!  Manny must’ve been so cute,” Colette chirped.

I laid my head down on the table, stifling defeated laughter.  This was ridiculous.  How was Zelos even a real person?  Okay, okay, what else… the crazy doll thing, that didn’t surprise me.  Neither did the fact about him simultaneously dating multiple women.

“Who was this fan of yours?” Regal asked.

“It was actually one of my classmates at the University in Sybak,” Zelos laughed. “Said it was part of an experiment.  I never really figured out what that one was about.”

“Please tell me you don’t still have this doll,” Sheena said.

“Hell no.  I hid it behind some books in the library when she wasn’t around.”

“What were the names of your five girlfriends?” Colette asked.

“Trish, Lily, Kayleigh, Sophie and Leanne,” Zelos replied, barely even hesitating.  

I felt my lip curl a bit.  That jerk, he had me again.  I was annoyed because a part of me wished I knew him well enough to be able to tell when he was fibbing, but I was failing so far.  Nobody had caught him in a lie yet and this was his third turn.

Zelos glanced over at the clock on the wall.  “Oh, time’s up.  What do you guys say?”

“Manticore,” Sheena replied.  Regal voiced his agreement.

“I think it was the doll!” Colette replied.  “I really want to believe you had a manticore named Manny,” she admitted, sticking her tongue out and looking sheepish.

Zelos chuckled, and then looked over at me.  “Brit?”

I paused for a moment, thinking.  Zelos led a crazy life, that much was for sure.  But the manticore thing—that was almost too obvious, wasn’t it?  I really wanted to guess that, but I felt like that was another one of his outlandish true stories that he threw out as a decoy. As for the doll… Zelos had to have received a lot of weird gifts over the years.  

But the five women?  He had almost spouted out those names too fast, like he was just listing random names off the top of his head.  If he was really that big of a man whore, I would think he’d almost have trouble keeping track of all the names.

“You never dated five women at once,” I said.

His smug façade actually crumbled and he stared at me in genuine surprise.

“Well.  Not bad, spitfire.”

“Seriously?” Sheena gaped.  “That was the one I thought was true for sure.”

“Course,” Zelos said with a snort.  “That’s why I used it.  Believe it or not, I’ve never actually had a girlfriend.”

The ninja frowned, staring at him.  “Huh.  I guess in the end that’s not so surprising.  I remember seeing you messing around with your floozies, but it was always different girls every week.”

“Yay!  I wish I got to meet Manny,” Colette said, still completely focused on the manticore story.

I couldn’t stop myself from grinning; I was fairly pleased with myself this time.  Finally got him!  Although that was an interesting fact I never would’ve guessed about Zelos.  For someone who seemed so smooth with the ladies, it was strange to think he’d never actually dated.  Was it because he didn’t want to commit, or because actually dating required a particular level of closeness?

Zelos seemed to see the question in my eyes, and offered a shrug.  “Not like there’s a point to dating anyway, not when the church is bound to tell me who I can and can’t marry.”

Colette’s face fell, and she looked a little sad.  “Oh… that’s right.  Families of the Mana lineage are all from arranged marriages… it was the same for Father and Mother.”

That made a depressing amount of sense, and it shed a different light on Zelos’ womanizing tendencies.  Why bother getting attached?  It’d only cause more pain in the end, right?  His own father had had an affair with another woman, who in turn killed his mother… the arranged marriage had both created and destroyed his family.

“Hey, hey!  I’m not sitting here moping over things I can’t control, so why should you guys?” Zelos reached out and gave me a lighthearted shove.  “Spitfire, it’s your turn!”

“All right,” I replied, leaning back a bit to think.  What hadn’t I used yet?

After a pause, I grinned at everyone.  “Okay… One.  I’ve been on a train that goes underwater.  Two… I’m actually allergic to wasabi.  Three, I used to wear glasses.”

“A train that goes underwater?” Zelos huffed.  “Y’know, I’m mad because I think it’s true.  Why not just build a bridge?  And I thought Tethe’alla had some backwards logic…”

“Now that must be an engineering marvel,” Regal commented, stroking his chin.

“Plus think of all the fishies you get to see while you’re on the train!”

I burst out laughing.  “It doesn’t work like that, Colette…”

[wolfofansbach]

amateurish analysis of the Wolf Man (1941) cause I’m bored

The Wolf Man (1941), is one of my favorite movies of all time and, I’m convinced, one of the greatest horror movies (potentially also one of the greatest psych thrillers, too, and if I may be so bold, maybe even one of the best of the golden age of cinema, period) ever made. Most people are probably at least vaguely familiar with the image of Lon Chaney Jr. in his classic wolf man get up, stalking a foggy forest. Unfortunately, the actual plot of the film, its characters and themes, have failed for the most part to seep into the popular consciousness. Most people could tell you the basic tales of Frankenstein’s monster or Dracula, but probably not that of Larry Talbot. The wolf man is more famous for his part in the later, cheesier, and somewhat shallower ‘Monster rally’ flicks like Frankenstein meets the Wolf Man or House of Dracula (don’t get me wrong; I love those movies), than for his debut film. This is a damn shame, because iMO the Wolf Man is probably the best of the early Universal horror pictures, and a much smarter film than you might expect of an old black-and-white monster flick. Largely when read through the lens of a psychological tragedy instead of a simple monster story.

(More under the cut, and warning: long as fuck. If you read to the end you win a prize: my congratulations for wasting twenty minutes of your life on me. A lot of what I say here has been said elsewhere and better by others. I’ve just had werewolves on the mind lately and wanted to put some of my thoughts to paper. Or screen.)

First a brief overview of the story:

After years abroad in America, the tragic death of his his brother in a hunting accident brings Lawrence “Larry” Talbot, estranged son of stiff-necked patrician Sir John Talbot, home at last to the little Welsh village of Llanwelly.

While settling back in, Larry finds himself smitten by a local shopkeep’s daughter, Gwen Conliffe (Evelyn Ankers, one of my first screen crushes). Despite the fact that she’s engaged to be married, he manages to wring a not-date out of her. Of course, she does insist that her friend Jenny tag along, and the three visit a Roma camp just outside town.

While Jenny visits with the palm-reader Bela (Bela Lugosi, towards the end of his A-lister years), Larry and Gwen go for a moonlit stroll.

Bela sees a pentagram in Jenny’s hand and tells her to run. Moments later, Larry and Gwen hear a howl. Then a scream. Larry rushes towards the sound, to find Jenny being mauled by a massive wolf. Unfortunately, it’s too late for the girl, and before he can beat the animal to death with his new cane (topped with a silver wolf’s head, and purchased earlier from Gwen’s shop), it bites him, too.

The next morning, Larry is questioned by his father and the authorities, who tell him there was no dead wolf at the scene. Only the corpse of Bela, the fortune teller. He insists in vain that he killed a wolf, and tries to show them his wound, only to find it’s healed up.

Dun dun dun!

Gwen receives the calumny of the town for being out and about ‘unescorted’ with a man other than her fiancé. Larry on the other hand, is suspected in the deaths of both Bela and Jenny, and his mental state begins to unravel.

It all comes to a head a few days later when Larry speaks with Maleva, Bela’s sage old mother. She tells him that he was bitten by Bela, a werewolf, and now will become a werewolf himself. A shaken Larry shares his fears with Gwen, who is less than convinced. But Larry rushes home that night and transforms into a wolf-monster which then kills the town’s grave digger.

Now things really start to unravel. Larry awakens in his bedroom, covered in mud, with wolf tracks leading from the window. With the discovery of the grave-digger’s body, the men of Llanwelly become convinced there’s a wolf at large, and organize to hunt it down. Larry, now fully convinced he is a werewolf, tries in vain to convince his father and the town’s notables of such. He is dismissed and increasingly suspected of madness. Before Sir John goes out to join the hunt, Larry convinces him to take the silver cane with him.

The night of the hunt, Larry visits Gwen to tell her that he’s going away. But then he sees a pentagram in her hand--a sign that indicates to a werewolf his next victim. He runs home and begs his father to restrain him. Sir John obliges, hoping to show his son this madness is all in his head.

Of course, the restraints do not hold him, and soon the wolf man is stalking the woods again. Gwen rushes out to find Larry. Dodging the hunters, the wolf man Larry finds Gwen and attacks her. But before he can kill her, Sir John appears and manages to beat the monster to death with the silver cane.

Sir John and Gwen watch in horror as the wolf man transforms back into Lawrence Talbot.

Roll credits.

Summary over

What’s most interesting about the Wolf Man to me, is that it was not conceived as a monster movie. Not exactly, anyway. In Curt Siodmak’s original screenplay, Larry is bitten by a wolf and becomes convinced that he has become a werewolf himself. But we never see Larry in the shape of a wolf, and whether or not he has really become a monster or simply gone mad is left ambiguous. At the last moment, Universal decided they wanted a straightforward monster movie, and changes were made accordingly.

However, despite these alterations, it is still quite easy to read the film as a story of insanity and superstition, rather than one about monsters, and I wonder if this was not Siodmak’s intention, studio mandated rewrites notwithstanding. Even within the film’s own universe, more characters doubt the existence of werewolves than accept it. Unlike many monster (or ghost, or demon, etc.) movies, the supernatural skeptics are not portrayed as bullheaded or unreasonable, and there is no grand scene at the end where they realize their naturalistic errors.

Sir John for one has little patience for his son’s lycanthropic nonsense. He explains the legend of the werewolf as a primitive explanation for the duality of man, his capacity for both good and evil. When asked if he believes in werewolves, the town physician, Doctor Lloyd, tells Larry only that “a man lost in the mazes of his own mind may imagine that he’s anything”.

It is easy to watch the film and imagine that just maybe, Larry is lost in the mazes of his own mind, and there is never any monster at all, except the one he imagines himself to be (and thus “becomes” in spirit). When Bela in his wolf form bites Larry, we don’t see a monstrous hybrid, only an ordinary wolf (played by a German shepherd), which Larry beats to death with his cane. The film is told from Larry’s point of view, and before he is convinced of the existence of werewolves, we see nothing obviously supernatural. Only an ordinary wolf.

Only after Larry comes to believe in werewolves do we see an outwardly supernatural monster in the form of Larry’s own two-legged wolf man. Perhaps it’s Larry’s paranoia in the aftermath of the wolf attack that leads him to become a beast. But only in his head.

We never get any confirmation from the other characters that Larry is indeed a literal werewolf. When he kills his first victim, Richardson the gravedigger, you must watch Richardson’s face. He first spots the wolf man crouching under a tree, just before it lunges at him, but his expression isn’t “holy fuck what the hell is that thing?” it’s more “what’s that guy doing?”. Only when it springs for his throat does Richardson panic. It’s easy to imagine in the place of the monster, a maddened but very human Larry Talbot, probably barefoot and wild-eyed. Enough to unnerve Richardson and make him take a second look, but not enough to cause immediate and mortal terror, as we might expect if he was actually face to face with a supernatural monster.

Later, when the wolf man attacks Gwen, and Sir John rushes to her rescue, his face is again less that of a man who’s just been confronted by an honest to God werewolf, and more that of someone who’s just stumbled upon a man assaulting a young woman in the forest. Once he kills the wolf man and it slowly transforms back into Larry Talbot, there is certainly shock in Sir John’s face. But rather then the shock of witnessing a magic transfiguration, might this not be the shock of a man who’s realized what his own son is capable of?

Gwen, upon witnessing the same reversion to Larry’s human form, exclaims “Larry!” But Evelyn Ankers delivers the line in such a way that I hear less “werewolves are real?” and more “I can’t believe Larry Talbot just tried to strangle me.”

So if we grant that Larry has not actually become a wolf, and is instead fallen prey to superstition and his own psyche, whence comes the transformation? Why does he believe he is a werewolf? Why does he kill people?

Lon Chaney Jr. was great at playing sympathetic (and sometimes pathetic) characters that you just can’t help but feel for. His performance makes it hard not to like Larry, who seems every bit the put-upon everyman.

But long before he is ever bitten by the beast, there are indications that Larry Talbot has got a darker side.

Towards the beginning of the film, as mentioned earlier, he becomes smitten by Gwen Conliffe. But the manner in which this happens is quite disturbing. He is tinkering with his father’s telescope, and using it to scout out the town. That’s when he spots Gwen through her bedroom window. Rather than avert his eyes, he focuses the lens and watches for a bit, before going down to the shop to say hello.

The “wolf” man, indeed.

When he goes down to the shop to flirt, she’s not particularly interested. Much less so when he alludes to the earrings she keeps on her bureau in her room, spotted through the telescope. But Larry is pushy, and won’t take no for an answer. He insists on a date (”I’ll pick you up at eight”). She says no. He shows up at eight anyways. She caves.

I’m willing to chalk up some of the screenplay’s depiction of such unsettling behavior to shifting social mores and old-style sexism, but even in the 1940s watching a girl through her bedroom window was beyond the pale. So I think at least some of this was intentional on Siodmak’s part.

So it would seem the bite of the werewolf did not make Larry into a predator--he already had that side to him. In fact, when he first visits Gwen’s shop, in the face of his bold advances, she sardonically offers to sell him a cane topped with a wooden dog’s head (”how about a little dog? That would suit you!”). Larry says that won’t do, and the narrative agrees. Because next she suggests a cane capped with a silver wolf. That suits him, agree not only Gwen and the script, but also Larry himself, because he buys it.

Dogs are a byword for lechery and boorishness, but wolves are a byword for much worse: rapacity, savagery, bloodlust, unbridled lust.

What’s the significance of Larry choosing a wolf over a dog? Is there any? Am I overthinking this? Yeah, probably. You tell me.

So Larry goes with Gwen and Jenny to the Roma camp. He’s insistently flirting with Gwen when they hear the howl and the scream that alert them to Jenny’s peril. Larry rushes in to rescue Jenny, and though she’s already dead, he manages to kill the wolf with his cane.

Despite the selflessness of his act (sidenote: abandoning the “it’s all in Larry’s head” interpretation for a moment, it’s been pointed out how ironic it is that Larry, who has been a bit of a creep up until now, does this one good deed and in doing so damns himself to become a monster), it is ultimately his persistence in pursuing Gwen that leads to his being bitten by the beast.

Is it the case that, once convinced he has been bitten by a werewolf and is therefore doomed to become one himself, Larry’s subconscious finds an excuse to vent the violent psychosexual impulses that have been lurking there all the while? After all, he’s a monster now. He can’t help it.

What triggers Larry’s first transformation? A few days after he’s bitten, he goes back to the Roma camp, ostensibly to blow off some steam at the fair. While there, he runs into Gwen again, who happens to be with her fiancé Frank Andrews. He and Andrews have a ‘friendly’ competition at the shooting gallery, but when Larry is presented with a target in the shape of a cardboard cut-out wolf, he freaks and bolts. This (and the subsequent werewolf-centric conversation he has with Bela’s mother, Maleva) are the immediate cause of his first outing as ‘the wolf man’, but it seems pertinent that it follows right on the heels of another tense interaction with Gwen and with the man that’s going to marry her.

Once he becomes the wolf man, his first victim is Richardson the grave digger. Richardson is a man. But Richardson’s death seems almost accidental. Larry runs across him and kills him out of principle. Gwen on the other hand, is built up by the narrative as his “perfect victim”. Larry is horrified when he sees the apparition of a pentagram in her palm, believing himself destined to kill her. Later, during the climax, he transforms and specifically hunts her in his wolf form.

In short, both the wolf man and Larry want Gwen.

So is the wolf man a manifestation of Larry Talbot’s (possibly thanatophilic) lust? His savage sexual hunger given free rein in the shape of the “wolf man”?

It’s certainly an interesting, if eDgY, interpretation, to see Larry Talbot not as a doomed everyman, but rather as a sexually driven serial killer. Or at least, I think so.

(Worth noting that the other werewolf in the film, Bela, also transforms after a one-on-one encounter with a young woman, Jenny. And her first question of the fortune teller is “can you tell me when I’m going to be married?”)

Usually I’m not a fan of lazy “it’s all in X character’s head!” interpretations. They often come across as uninspired and pointless. But in this case I believe the film itself bears it out (or can be plausibly watched that way).

As mentioned above, Sir John makes several speeches on the duality of man. The same duality we are shown with such clarity in Larry himself. Sir John is played wonderfully by Claude Rains (probably best known as Casablanca’s Capt. Renault, but also starring in Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and Lawrence of Arabia) and like I mentioned above, is never made a figure of fun or contempt for his disbelief in the supernatural, unlike so many similar skeptics in monster movies. At most, his skepticism is portrayed as tragic, in that he doesn’t believe until it’s too late. At least, it can be argued (as I’ve been doing here) he was right in that there were never any literal monsters.

It seems superfluous to have Sir John make so many erudite statements on the monstrosity and capacity for savagery that exists in man, if we are not to at least contemplate the possibility that this is enough to explain the events of the film, without recourse to the supernatural.

So what is Sir John’s role in his son’s transformation, literal or otherwise? First, it’s important to note that Larry’s presumably deceased mother is never so much as mentioned. I’m sure there’s something Freudian at work here, but I’m too lazy to work it out.

The main point is that it means Sir John is alone in dealing with his son. At the beginning of the film, Sir John, glad at Larry’s return from America, tells him (regarding the traditionally austere relationship between aristocratic fathers and sons) “between us there shall be no more such reserve”. Through the remainder of the film, he again and again counsels his son that there are no werewolves at all. He’s all rationality and cool-headedness. When he speaks with Maleva, the old sage who has been Larry’s go-to in all things werewolf, he angrily denounces her as “the old gypsy woman who’s been filling his head with this werewolf nonsense”.

But of course, all this is no to avail. Towards the end of the movie, when Larry (almost hopefully) wonders if the people of Llanwelly will storm Talbot Castle and lynch him, Sir John falls back on the certainties of aristocratic privilege to reassure his son (”You’re a Talbot! This is Talbot Castle! You think those people can come in here and drag you out?”) Regardless of whether or not Larry literally sprouts fur and fangs, Sir John’s reason and deconstruction of superstition is powerless to control the monster in his son. In the end, all he can do is crudely bludgeon it to death. Tragic, really.

A commentary on the impotence of psychiatric analysis? Probably not. Still interesting to think about.

Now on to Maleva. Maria Ouspenskaya plays the crude old crone stereotype, but I think there’s a bit more to the character. She’s the mother of Bela, the Roma fortune teller who ostensibly bites Larry. She is perhaps the only staunch believer in werewolfism in the film save Larry himself, once he becomes one (or believes he has become one, if you’re staying with me). When Larry visits her just before his first transformation, she gives him the low-down on werewolf lore (”whoever is bitten by a werewolf and lives, becomes a werewolf himself”). She also gives him a necklace marked with a pentagram (”the sign of the wolf”) and promises him it can break the evil spell.

He immediately gives it away to Gwen, hoping that it might protect her from himself, so we don’t get to see if it would have stopped the transformation. But when Gwen is attacked by the wolf man at the film’s climax, the charm does exactly jack-shit, so it seems unlikely. So Maleva, who believes in werewolves and even has magic charms meant to ward them off, is as powerless as the rational Sir John or Doctor Lloyd to contain the monster in Larry Talbot. The film itself never explains why the charm fails, but under the interpretation that Larry’s condition is mental rather than supernatural, of course a magic charm fails to keep him from killing.

Why does Maleva believe in werewolves? The film would immediately suggest it is because she comes from a culture that (in the movie at least) believes in them. But there’s another factor: she’s the mother of the other werewolf in the movie.

If we assume werewolves are just a manifestation of human lust, murderous or sexual or both, then it’s no wonder Maleva believes in werewolves: her son had the same monster in him as Larry Talbot. Explains her belief in the creature, and also why her charm doesn’t work. I suppose it might be easier to believe your loved one’s condition is a magic creature rather than simply a very sick human being.

So Maleva becomes as tragic a character as Sir John, both of whose explanations for the murderousness of their sons cannot do anything to actually restrain that murderousness.

(I haven’t and won’t even go into the implications of Larry killing Bela the werewolf with the phallic symbol that is a cane, and later being beaten to death by his father with the same, because it’s too on the nose and also it would probably fill another ten paragraphs)

Anyways, watch the Wolf Man. It’s a great movie. Whether you want to play psych 101 and overanalyze it like I’ve just done or just enjoy a straight up monster movie. The performances are great, the atmosphere is spooky, the score is fantastic. It’s a classic. Check it out.

And remember:

Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright.

[startselectscreen]

The Take’s On Veep Ending Afterthought

After watching The Take’s “take” on the ending of Veep, there are many points in the video that I disagree upon. Granted the women at the Take are quite intelligent and very thoughtful with their video essays on TV shows and films from comparing and contrasting history and philosophy into them as references and their valid points don’t come out to be pretentious at any extent. However, the thing is with some of their videos that they over-analyzed TV shows such as the symbolism in Breaking Bad’s pool as a image of one darker scenes in that groundbreaking show.

I see the validity of such arguments in their finale of Veep such as the parallels of the Trump administration and real world politics much like the creator’s past show, “The Thick of It” mocks real life politics in Britain. I also agree on her statements with Selina having this greedy ambition to become President, risking everything and everyone to do it even her closest confident, Gary who is her bagman but more importantly, more integral to her everyday life since the beginning when she became a politician  It’s the meaning of sacrifice like Selina says in the end and what The Take points out, that she utterly destroys everyone to get to the presidency.

Now, here’s what I disagree with the points afterwards; The Take says Selina compares to Queen Daenrys in Game of Thrones and her pursuit of the Iron Throne. To some extent, I do agree, her personal ambition was the Iron Throne and she wanted to “break the wheel” or destroy all who oppose her. There is some similarities between them both, true but the fact is that, throughout the whole show, Danys was this saviour of slaves in Essos, who become what she is but was evidently become more evil when she arrives at Westeros and it becomes more evident of her madness, in league of what her father, the Mad King did back then. What should the Take should of said is that Queen Cersei was more like Selina as they both want what is their’s and will destroy anyone who opposes her. The Take left out one thing, even when Danys’ closest companions died in front of her eyes in which the turning point of the show made her a “supervillain”, and having everyone to “bend the knee” to her; Selina however doesn’t forget people like Amy badmouthing her before and firing her on the spot. This felt more like Queen Cersei when she, aside from killing the High Sparrow, Margaery and most of the Tyrells in the Sept of Baelor, sent her monsterous bodyguard “The Mountain” to kill even people who speak ill of her such as a peasant in Season 6 after the famous “Shame” scene. You could say that Qyburn is somewhat like a Gary to her as Hand of the Queen, in which they are both loyal to the end even if they’re methods are extreme.

One other thing, much like Jonah parallels to Trump, both of them are in a incestous relationship, Cersei still in love in Jaime and Jonah marrying Beth who is his step-sister. Although it is played with comedy that Jonah has no knowledge that Beth is his step-sister with Lloyd revealing that he was his step-father, it is somewhat similar, that Selina’s presidency and Queen Cersei have some kind of incestous relationship. It is vague though but one thing to point out.

As what I said previously with Selina being a “supervillain” throughout the show as they bash on the character being evil and selfish. Aside from Queen Cersei, there are many anti heroes or villains that star in shows who we cheer on, much like Tony Soprano, Walter White and Don Draper. It could be said that the latter two redeemed themselves and develop more good inside of them. Such as Walter White admitting to Jesse and Skyler that “what he did is for himself” not for them in relation to his meth growing empire and Don relinquishing his past that haunts him as well as neglecting to even cheat or become an alcoholic and finding some peace and solidarity in a retreat. But for Tony, there was no redeeming for the New Jersey mob boss. Granted there are some light-hearted scenes with him and his kids, AJ and Meadow but we see troubled mafisco killing Ralph just because he killed his horse and beat up a stripper even though everyone advise him that he was a good investor and that even after his coma, seeing his wife, Carmela take care of him, he veers back to cheat behind her back with Chris’s “gumar” in Vegas after he suffocated him in a car wreck. Melfi’s own therapist even stated that sociopaths much like Tony himself use therapy as a tool to better their actions which cause Melfi to end her sessions with Tony after that realization. Tony, throughout the whole series in which we cheer for him being the “anti-hero” is actually a “supervillain” like Selina; in somewhat similarities between the two; they both cheat and they are both people who not to mess with. They are both strong character who get what they want in the show, and will destroy anyone who opposes them.

Overall, The Take has always been quite insightful and smart with their videos, it feels like a university-written essay with valid and thoughtful references to back it up. There are not really quite like it on Youtube as it is overshadowed by terrible content that is often either clickbait or theories on shows that makes no sense. This Veep analyst of the ending was interesting to watch but for the first time, I disagree with their comparison with Danys and their critical consensus of Selina.