#and ​to be clear i know there are two more seasons before anyone gets annoying

[lesbianboyfriend]

and the thing is when you think about dawn is so much like buffy….buffy knows exactly what it’s like to be 14 years old to be told you’re part of some larger purpose and to feel out of control of your own life. she might not be sisters with dawn by birth but they are sisters in understanding, in their circumstances. when she said dawn is made from her she meant it. and buffy gave up her whole life, all of her teenage years to save the world and yet. her gift is death. at the end of all that what she gets is to die. to have the burden lifted. and she stills gives it back, she uses it so that dawn can live the life that she never got to have. she was always going to die saving the world. it’s not even the first time it happened to her. but the thing that made it matter to her, what made it worth it was for dawn. for the girl she never got to be.

[xveenusx]

Wanted

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.

Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.

Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST

Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo

Part 1: Guilty

Bored. 

I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line. 

“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”

Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something. 

I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered. 

I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part. 

‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet. 

“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before. 

“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest. 

“I can charter a plane-“

I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?” 

What was she even doing here? 

This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.

Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself. 

“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body. 

I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with. 

“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention. 

I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.

My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”

She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with. 

“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head. 

“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.

Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.” 

I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.

There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.

I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did. 

We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.

“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society. 

The same can’t be said about his friends.

“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.

“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them. 

The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting. 

The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?

He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?” 

I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement. 

“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh. 

“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved. 

“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.” 

A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out. 

The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all. 

“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded. 

Being responsible was so overrated. 

Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused. 

He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”

“Why?” 

“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..” 

I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.” 

His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.” 

Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused. 

Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”

“Enlighten me.” 

I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?” 

Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?” 

“It’s actually bubblegum blush.” 

“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest. 

It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone. 

“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away. 

“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well. 

Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look. 

“Are you kidding?” 

Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes. 

I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.” 

The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough. 

The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel. 

“Are your hands broken?” 

“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.

Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”

“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience. 

He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always. 

Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.

I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body. 

“I grew up.” 

Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”

For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive. 

Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.

“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear. 

I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?” 

He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”

The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.

My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.

“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice. 

My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.

“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives. 

The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty. 

“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?” 

I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead. 

“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?” 

My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable. 

John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of  the coke laid out in front of me? 

But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room. 

I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-

My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face. 

Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.

None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.

Fuck this. Fuck both of them. 

“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body. 

Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me. 

Don’t think. Don’t feel. 

Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“

“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me. 

They never just wanted me.

Maybe I was defective. I had to be. 

JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.

Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction. 

It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.

I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.

I guess, I was impossible to love.

“Line it up, Topper.”

“Can I at least get a please?”

“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”

Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:” 

A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel. 

Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response. 

Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.

Then it happened.

All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months. 

My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.

JJ.

It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again. 

Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted. 

He was so beautiful. 

My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin. 

God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually. 

That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.

My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds. 

Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch. 

My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in. 

Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed. 

The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated. 

It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.

“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but. 

He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that. 

JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.

He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest. 

It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists. 

A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face. 

I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear. 

“You had a little something on your nose.” 

JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake. 

Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it. 

I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes. 

He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”

We both knew that was a lie.

“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.” 

Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”

“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room. 

“He didn’t want you.” 

People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel. 

“Yeah, well you don’t either.” 

“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”

“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”

“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“

I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure. 

Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left. 

“Get the fucking picture?”

“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard. 

“If you want a whore, go buy one.” 

Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”

I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet. 

Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore. 

I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.

Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time. 

“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.” 

I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz. 

Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing. 

Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another. 

I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.

As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other. 

He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way. 

Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing. 

It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun. 

Why couldn’t he see that? 

The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down. 

All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look. 

I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right? 

But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke. 

It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.

It was like drowning on dry land.

His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed. 

I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me. 

At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.

I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private. 

Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me. 

She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.

The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself. 

“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.

“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.

“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.” 

“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute. 

“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”

“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain. 

Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom. 

“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. 

“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“

“With my mom.” 

“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?” 

I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go. 

“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?” 

She nodded, apprehension on her face. 

“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.” 

Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.” 

The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”

“And what type would that be?”

“Desperate.”

JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand. 

“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.

“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat. 

“Yeah, I just saved you.”

“I didn't realize I needed saving.” 

“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?” 

JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.” 

Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable. 

“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”

JJ leveled me with an unamused stare. 

I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”

JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage. 

How the hell was I going to talk to him now? 

I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”

“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?

“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”

“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”

I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired. 

“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.

JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.” 

“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.

I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.

His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”

“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

“Only one of us is fucking loaded.” 

I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?” 

“Not from cocaine.”

“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”

Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.

“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.

I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words. 

Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.

“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist. 

She held her hands up in apology.

“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.

“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”

I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down. 

“Is that how you talk to people now?”

I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”

I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s. 

In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that. 

The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.

“I wanted to talk.”

I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.

“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day. 

Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.

“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside. 

“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought. 

He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.

“Unzip me?” 

“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.

“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.” 

In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.

Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror.  “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.” 

My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.

I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered. 

The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror. 

I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties. 

“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

“Yeah and I’m failing.” 

The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped. 

“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation. 

Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me. 

JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire. 

His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention. 

He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up. 

JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter. 

I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his. 

A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin. 

My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy. 

His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat. 

His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse. 

My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button. 

The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.” 

My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses. 

JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.

“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter. 

He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together. 

He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants. 

He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom. 

JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him. 

I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.

The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”

He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal. 

JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing. 

He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply. 

I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.

The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle. 

He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”

“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself. 

He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene. 

“That’s not very nice.” 

Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”

The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”

He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy. 

My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe. 

I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance. 

The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control. 

JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy. 

A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically. 

I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk. 

“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.

My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.

“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.

“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door. 

I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs. 

“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it. 

 “She’s a little busy at the moment.” 

I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.

I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again. 

JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.” 

“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone. 

Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”

I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to. 

And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer. 

“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”

“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.

That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants. 

One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper. 

I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back. 

I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes. 

I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious. 

“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me. 

 I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more. 

My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“

I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us. 

It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him. 

As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank. 

My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory. 

Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets. 

The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets. 

I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust. 

My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me. 

“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.

Kiara? 

I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-

Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated. 

Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me? 

I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.

That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob. 

“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out. 

His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.

JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us. 

I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear. 

“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain. 

“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.

“Get out.” 

“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.” 

“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger. 

Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.

And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?

Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me? 

Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex? 

Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating. 

Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?

I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.

“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”

JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.

“Kie and I aren’t together.”

“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.” 

“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy. 

“You had no problem doing it before.”

“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily. 

“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”

I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them. 

Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt. 

JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets. 

I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me. 

“I’m sorry.” 

I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.

I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?

I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.

The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in. 

A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.

I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket. 

I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away. 

I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.

So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was. 

I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t. 

“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me. 

“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side. 

My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.

“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating. 

Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home. 

Kook pussy. Daddy issues.

I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up. 

This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay. 

“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement. 

“I have to get back-“

“To who?” JJ snapped. 

I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”

He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.

He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?” 

“Dead serious.” 

“This isn’t like you-“

“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.” 

“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”

I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”

“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“

I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head. 

Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me. 

It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple. 

When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?

“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”

I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?

I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.

“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts. 

I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me. 

But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.

“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?” 

Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.

“I care about you, that never changed.”

Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.” 

“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.” 

“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”

I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.” 

“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”

“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched. 

His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves. 

“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”

I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.

“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.” 

JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”

“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”

He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets. 

“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond. 

The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched. 

He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes, 

“What happened?”

“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”

That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.

“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?” 

“It was actually a couple purses.” 

JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.

“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”

I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with. 

It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have. 

“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.” 

I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone. 

“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.” 

He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.

“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”

JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”

His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.  

My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”

A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”

I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”

“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat.  And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.

“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”

His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."

Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."

I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.

"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying. 

A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance. 

I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up. 

I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other. 

The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”

Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”

JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest. 

My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself. 

“JJ?”

“What?”

“You were right. I do deserve better than you.” 

Loving him cost me something much greater: myself. 

I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.

I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.

I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse. 

I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress. 

I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me. 

This time, I was the one that never looked back.

Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.

TAG LIST: @maybankslover @theficshop @cantbecreative @plk-18

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[kika-writes]

two of them - l.n

Warnings: Mention of sexualising Y/N, swearing, angst, sexism

Pairing: Lando Norris x verstappen!fem!reader

Summary: Y/N and Lando both cross the no-no line :O

part two

There was no disagreeing that the Red Bull of both Verstappens was nothing short of dominating. Y/N, the young 22 year old, had made her debut in the 2024 season, and joined alongside her older brother, Max. And if there was one thing Max was famous, or rather, infamous, for, it was his aggressiveness. And he made that very clear when it came to his sister. Of course, that didn’t stop him from battling her on track for a win. Six races in, and Max had five wins and four second places and Y/N, four wins, and five second places. 

“Max,” the reporter said as your brother walked up to the interviewer, “we can all see you may have finally found your biggest competitor in you sister,”. Max laughed, he’d been asked this question a lot, but it hadn’t annoyed him once, surprisingly. “She’s quite the good driver, Y/N,” he answered shortly. “Rumours have arrived around her dating life, something about Gasly?” she continued. The smile on your brother’s face fell. If there was one thing he could not stand, it was people talking about your relationship status. “Y/N is 22 years old. She will not be dating anyone, I won’t allow it,” he said, trying to remain cool through the tension. With that, he turned around and walked off, refusing to answer any more questions, his mood ruined. 

Lando sighed, turning the TV off. “Dude, I can’t just, you know, NOT do that thing!” Lando groaned, head in his hands as his team mate looked at him with a mixture of sympathy and confusion. “Talk to her, mate, it could help with the staring,” Oscar shrugged, this was the eleventh time Lando had had one of these breakdowns and he was badly running out of ideas to help the older Brit. “And what, get absolutely murdered by Max?” Lando shook his heard his curls falling to his face. Oscar awkwardly patted Lando on the shoulder, before leaving him alone in his driver room. “Y/N…” Lando muttered, the name feeling so natural, rolling off his tongue. Fuck it. He couldn’t just sit there and wait for you to turn up at his door. Especially not with the way Gasly had been eyeing you. Besides, him and Max were friends, surely he could use that as an excuse? Plucking up every bit of courage in his system, he slid his feet into a pair of white converse, not in his usual race kit, and made his way to the Red Bull garage. 

“Lando? Here to discuss that contract, eh?” Christian joked as he walked into the garage. Lando laughed it off - no way was that happening anytime soon. “Have you seen Max?” he turned to GP, knowing Max would probably be having lunch. “He’s round the back with Y/N, they’re having lunch with some other drivers,” he said. Lando nodded, it wasn’t usual he had lunch with Max so he had predicted the weird glances he’d get from some members of the team. “Lando?” a familiar Dutch accent called his name, making his turn around, eyes meeting with Max. “Hey, was looking for you,” Lando said, realising he was making it up as he went along. Again, fuck it. “Sit down,” Max said, gesturing for him to sit. Perfect. You obviously knew who Lando was, your brother being relatively close friends with him, and the fact that he was one of your race rivals.

“This is my sister, Y/N,” Max introduced you, making you almost roll your eyes, you were sure he knew who you were. “I’m Lando,” he said, cheeks flushing ever so slightly as he looked at you. “I’m aware,” you smiled gently. Well, he’d done a good job of embarrassing himself. “I’m gonna grab you something for you to eat,” Max said, standing up and leaving the pair of you alone together. “Interesting we haven’t spoken before,” you commented, shrugging. Lando noticed how your accent wasn’t as pronounced as Max’s, in fact, you could barely hear it. “I expected better of Max,” Lando sighed jokingly. “Oh, so you wanted to meet me that badly?” you said, eyebrow raised. “No!” Lando flushed, “I mean yes, but not like that…you seem like a nice person, it’s just, I-“ he stuttered, struggling with his words. “Lando, I was teasing,” you said, perplexed by the older man’s actions.

Lando was about to say something, but Max had returned, and he’d rather the Dutchman not know about his little word struggle. “You haven’t killed him, Y/N,” Max said, sounding confused. “Oh shut up, dickhead,” you snapped. “Not like he can affect your race either,” Max said, rubbing the back of his head. “Max that’s so mean,” you gasped as Lando went red again. “But true,” your brother shrugged. “No, it’s mean! I think Lando a very good driver, actually,” you kicked your brother. That made Lando’s day. “Ignore him, he’s a twat, you’re a very good driver, better than Max if you had his car,” you shot a look to Max as you turned to Lando. “It’s fine, it’s true,” Lando shook his head. “It’s not!” you exclaimed. “Why are you defending him so much, are you his lawyer?” Max snorted. You gave him a sarcastic laugh before turning to Lando. “Max, don’t do that. Just you wait til he’s on the podium with us,” you said seriously. Funny, isn’t it? That’s the exact thing you said, smirking, to your brother, when you were standing on the top step of the podium, followed by Lando, followed by Max. 

“Hey, Lando!” you called, ignoring the rest of your team and sprinting to the McLaren garage. Your race suit was still hanging on your hips, lower than before, showing off your figure. The Brit turned his head, stopping the conversation with Oscar and looking at you. You had badly misjudged the gap between you and Lando, and ended up colliding with him to stop you from falling over. You were surprised how his body didn’t even move when you hit him, not even a step backwards, let alone a flinch. “Woah,” Lando said, his hands reaching your hips to stop you. Shit he was tall. And muscular. You didn’t fail to see the way his arms flexed, the veins popping, as he stopped your stumble. And that was just the moment when the press came, immediately gasping and snapping photos of you and the McLaren driver. Oscar was frozen, his brain clicking before either of yours as he shoved you apart and into the garage, slamming the door shut. “Shit,” you and Lando said simultaneously. 

“Y/N, what the fuck is this?!” Max slammed the photo of you and Lando onto the table; Christian, Helmut and Jos looking at you. “With Lando, really? You spoke ONCE!” Max yelled ad you flinched, not looking up. “Y/N,” your father said, making you look up. “Explain this,” he said calmly, though you could hear the disgust in his voice. “I wanted to congratulate him on his podium, dad,” you sniffed. “He’s a boy, Y/N! You need to be careful! You know what the press would think,” Jos yelled. “It’s not fair though,” you said, “if it was Max, it would’ve been fine, but it’s me, that’s not fair!” you whined, about to continue, but Christian interrupted. “Life’s not fair, Y/N. And you’re the only woman in Formula One, you know the media will stop and nothing to sexualise your behaviour or anything you do,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Vanessa will accompany you as your PR, and you are not to talk to Lando until further notice,” Helmut said firmly, ignoring your whines of protest. “And that means no contact, at all. No boys, Y/N, you’re still a kid,” Jos snapped. 22 years old and still a kid? Wow. Frowning, you left the room angrily, GP following you out. “Y/N,” GP said, tugging on your arm. You brushed it off, too angry to deal with him. 

“Y/N?” he tugged harder this time. “What, GP?” you exclaimed. He took a deep breath to stop himself from yelling back before shoving a bit of paper into your hand. “What your dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” GP muttered, a small smile on his face as you read the numbers on it. “It’s Lando’s,” he said, nudging you before he walked off. The entire time you drove back to your apartment, you were still unsure of whether you should message Lando. What if his team didn’t want him round you til the end of the season? Or worse, what if they never wanted you round him? Ever? You realised you were panicking yourself unnecessarily and shook it off your mind. A simple ‘hi’ wouldn’t hurt anyone. Would it? You walked into your apartment, phone in hand as you shut the door. You copied the number in your phone, saving his name as ‘Lando’. You sent the two lettered word and put your phone down, expecting him to take a while to answer. Instead, you were greeted with the three typing dots. 

You: hi 

Lando: heyyy, is this Y/N?

You: yh, how’d yk it was me??

Lando: oscar told me your number. 

Lando: sorry if that’s creepy lol

You: it’s not dw. 

Lando: 👍

You: ur team alr with us or nah?

Lando: they want us to ‘take a break’

You: 😭😭

Lando: who gave u my num?

You: gp 

Lando: rlly? thought he wouldn’t be okay with it. 

You: I don’t yell at gp every race tho

Lando: lmao fairs 

You: 😭😂

There was silence for a second, you thought the conversation might be over, perhaps? You weren’t really sure. And then thr three dots came again. 

Lando: you free tmrw?

You: yh, y ?

Lando: 6?

You: yh

Lando: wanna be naughty? sneak out? ;)

You: lando…

Lando: it’s fine, if Max kills me, pls at least come to my funeral

You: omg lando, he wouldn’t let me even do that 

Lando: 🤷‍♂️

You: I luv bein naughty 

Lando: it’s settled then?

You: ofc

Lando: see u then ❤️

Heart. With the way your heart beat was racing, the adrenaline flowing through your veins, you were sure you would’ve been able to set a new lap record at every single race.

A/N - Help it’s really long 😭 don’t worry, an Oscar one is coming next!

[megu-meow]

cinnamon girl - sukuna

sukuna x fem. reader (reader is Nanami's sister)

Part 3 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1 - Part 2

Lmk if you want to be added to the tag list! :D

This road trip is Sukuna's worst nightmare. Firstly, they're playing his old team in Kyoto, the one he left in the middle of the season in questionable circumstances. His last month with the team was in no way pleasant, he was benched and constantly frowned upon by his teammates. The moment he heard about his trade offer to the Wizards he jumped on it and left without saying goodbye to anyone. He knew he's gonna get roughed up during the two back-to-back games ahead of him and that the tension would be high while in Kyoto. Secondly, Nanami was breathing down his neck constantly, keeping an eye on him 24/7. Sukuna cursed himself for not being more subtle about the way he approached you, he loathed the attention he was getting from your brother. He still wanted his approval, now more than anything, but he was not sure about the price he had to pay to get it. Sukuna was a loner. Despite having good relationships with his teammates and brothers, he preferred being alone. He found most people bothersome and downright annoying. So having Nanami around him every second of the day was a nuisance and that's putting it lightly.

"Is it really necessary that you follow me around all day?" he asked, irritation clear in his tone.

"You want my approval or not?" the blonde questions. It is not like he was pleased with the situation either, but he needed to be thorough with his background checks. Your heart was fragile and he was determined to protect it with all his might.

"I do, but is it really necessary for you to follow me around all day? What's next? Are you going to hold my dick while I piss too?"

Nanami frowns. He might have gone a teensy bit overboard, considering how tame Sukuna's days have been so far. He has a very strict and particular routine that he follows without fail. He wakes up at 6 and hits the gym for exactly an hour and forty-three minutes. After that, he takes a shower and eats breakfast, the same thing every time. Four eggs, four slices of bacon, and an obnoxiously large serving of salad. Then he calls his brothers. Yuji always answers, because they have the same schedule and this is his downtime as well. Choso, however, sometimes has clients, in those instances, his call goes to voicemail. He usually listens to Yuji's rambling for about half an hour, afterward, he hangs up, sometimes in the middle of the sentence, and starts getting ready for team practice. The length of that varies based on the coach's plans for the day, but the routine after is all the same. He goes to physical therapy, showers, puts on a sweatsuit, and returns to the hotel. He has lunch, again, the same thing every day, in different variations. He then takes a nap and wakes up two hours before the game. He doesn't even try to memorize his pre-game routine at the arena, because it's insane. From taping his hockey sticks to putting on his gear in a peculiar way, Nanami has seen everything. One thing that stands out during his daily routine is texting you because he does that constantly. Nanami knows it's you because when it's anyone else he's frowning, his expression depicts nothing but disgust. But when it's you he's smiling, he scoffs sometimes, probably because you said something unhinged. Most of the time, he is grinning like a man in love. Nanami considers entertaining the thought that he actually is in fact in love with you, but that would be crazy. Nonetheless, it is clear as a day and without a doubt that he is infatuated by you.

Sukuna's demeanor changes on the last day of the road trip, on the day of their last game in Kyoto. He is agitated, downright distressed. Nanami doesn't understand this sudden change, sure, these last couple of games have been rough on him, the unhinged comments thrown his way by his ex-teammates might have gotten to him, but they didn't seem to bother him up to this point. Something must have happened.

"Dude, stop bouncing your leg, the whole room is quaking!" Satoru whines during team dinner, imploring Sukuna.

"Shut your mouth, Gojo, unless you want to go home to your girlfriend without your dick attached." he bites back with a frightening aura.

"That's enough!" Nanami explodes, grabbing Sukuna by the collar of his dress shirt, and dragging him out. The pink-haired centerman does not fight back, despite the sheer size difference between the two of them. He could easily dominate Kento in this situation, but he refuses to.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" the blonde questions "No bullshit, Sukuna, I can tell that you're on the edge."

His tatted face contorts - the last person he wants to mutter the following words to is standing in front of him. He never talks about his problems anyway, but this is utterly uncomfortable.

"She's ghosting me," he whispers, unable to hold eye contact with Nanami.

"What?"

"You heard me, Captain! Don't fucking try to convince me to repeat myself." he explodes, shaking the blonde's hands off his shoulders, trying to leave the room.

"Why? Did you do something?" Nanami's voice is nothing but emphatic. It makes Sukuna's shoulders deflate as he takes a deep breath.

"No." he says "I don't think so."

"Do you want me to talk to her?"

"No! It's her decision, if she doesn't want to talk to me, I'm alright with that. It's just frustrating. I've been trying to act my best around you to get your blessing, but apparently, it was for nothing. What a pain."

Nanami sees right through his unbothered facade. He smiles, knowing that this idiot in front of him is down bad for his sister. That's why he calls you, to find out why you've been avoiding him.

"Why aren't you talking to Sukuna?" he asks after listening to your rambling about how fun of a day you had with Sophia and how Senna had chocolate milk coming out of her nose from one of Akane's jokes.

"Ugh, he told you about that too?" you sigh in frustration "You know, I really thought he was different, that he didn't talk shit about girls. He despises talking to the team about his conquests and relationships. I thought he would keep this on the down low, at least until our first date. And what does he do? He tells everyone in the locker room the first chance he gets."

"I was the one to question him about it," Nanami explains and your eyes widen "He doesn't talk shit. He only told me, so that I would give him my approval. He didn't want to go behind my back, he basically told me his intentions."

The way Sophia phrased it to you it sounded like Sukuna disgustingly blabbed to the entire team. The information your brother presented to you changes everything, your irritation with Sukuna disappears in an instant, but it's quickly replaced with guilt.

"Is he mad?" you ask timidly.

"Totally livid, downright lunatic." he says, his tone light, which makes you giggle. "Do you like him, Bambi?"

You think about it for a second. For the last couple of days, Sukuna has been nothing but a gentleman. He still annoyed you to no end, but he also sent you good morning and good night text every day. He texted you at every chance he got, telling you about his day, making you laugh at his stories about Satoru and how he loathes him. He listened to you complain about your unfair boss and your new annoying co-worker, about the shenanigans of your cat. He also sent a bouquet of sunflowers to your office, claiming that he finds any other type of flower stupid. "They're useless. At least with these ones, you can pull out the seeds, roast them, and use them for salads." he explains. Even thinking about him makes you smile.

"Yeah, I do like him." you say confidently and Nanami sighs. He cannot argue with that.

"Just text him back, Bambi."

"I will. Is that you giving your blessing, big bro?" you tease, making Nanami hang up the phone without saying goodbye. You laugh and you switch to the Messages app on your phone straight away.

However, Sukuna never takes his phone to the arena, because it's a distraction from his routine. So he doesn't see your message, making him go on a full rampage during the game. He's thrown to the sin bin at least six times for checking his opponents too hard, and he's constantly spewing insults at his ex-teammates, some of them personal, some of them just usual guy stuff.

"Hey Nanami-san! How is that sexy little fox of a sister of yours? I would really like to take her on a ride on my Zamboni if you know what I'm getting at." Mahito, the other team's first-line defenceman chirps the captain, and before Kento can react, he sees Sukuna fly by, with his gloves off, landing a powerful punch to the guy's face. Geto swears that the punch flashes black, which is not surprising, considering he and Gojo have a flair for the dramatic. The pink-haired lunatic lands punch after punch with a ruthless expression. This goes on until Mahito falls to the ice and the referees separate the two. As he is escorted towards the penalty box, Sukuna turns back to the defenceman and deliriously spits at him:

"Know your place, fool!"

Sukuna is thrown out of the game after that. You watch him on television, as he leaves the ice with a smile on his face, seemingly proud of himself for beating a living shit out of someone. But the fight gets the boys going, closing this road trip with a 7-1 win against the Kyoto team.

"Oh, Bambi..." you hear Senna's voice from beside you, a cheeky grin on her face. Sometimes you wonder how Satoru found a girl so similar to him. They are basically the same person, just different gender.

"What?"

"You sooooooo have the hots for Sukuna!" Akane teases.

"I do not!"

"Yeah, you do! But no worries, girl, we've been there. Guys are so hot when they fight." Senna explains.

"Sophia! Please tell these two that they are delusional." you look at your sister-in-law, imploring her to get you out of the uncomfortable situation.

"You are soooooo delusional, Bambi!" you hear her say and Senna starts laughing like a hyena. You huff out in frustration as you grab your phone to check if Sukuna texted you back. As soon as you see the message notification on the screen, a deep blush forms on your face and you cannot help, but smile.

"I will be expecting a warm welcome after getting home, sweet girl. It's utterly disrespectful to ignore someone who's trying so hard to win you over, my fragile little heart needs pampering." his text says.

And warm welcome he gets. On Sunday, at brunch. As soon as you see him step into the cafe, you stand up from your seat, going up to him, embracing his giant figure in a tight hug, whispering how sorry you are for ignoring him. At first, he is stiff, but after a couple of seconds, he relaxes, putting his bulky arms around your shoulders, inhaling your scent.

Nanami watches the whole scenario from his seat, content with the picture in front of him. The two of you arrived earlier, Sukuna insisted that the two of you have the time to catch up as siblings, another reason why Kento is pleased momentarily with his decision. He thinks back to the conversation he had with Sukuna after the game the night before.

"Thank you, for standing up for my sister, but you shouldn't have fought. That was stupid, we need you on the ice, Sukuna!" he scolds the pink-haired centerman.

"That bastard deserved what he got. And you guys did well without me anyway."

"I don't care, don't fight, you moron."

"I cannot make such promises." he grins.

"Can you promise not to hurt my sister?"

Sukuna's jaw drops at the blunt question, but he smiles nonetheless.

"Yeah, I can promise that, Captain!"

"Alright. One bad word from her, one teardrop, one disrespectful comment from you and you're done for, you understand?"

"Yes." Sukuna nods "Thank you, Kento."

However, Nanami regrets his decision during brunch. Because neither you nor Sukuna can keep your eyes off each other, the two of you share the stories of what you've been up to while you were apart, despite talking about them through messages. Nanami never felt so useless as he felt in that moment - third wheeling is truly a chore. But now he understands why you banned Sophia from Sibling Brunch because you felt the same way every time she joined. He feels terrible for only realizing this now, but the damage has been done, and he swears he's not going to push her presence at these events anymore. Nonetheless, Kento is glad to observe the dynamic between the two of you, the banter, the laughs, and the scoffs. It seems so fluid and easygoing as if the two of you knew each other through your whole lives. Sukuna seems so much softer, his rough and downright mean aura is replaced by a smile that reaches his ears, so genuine it's nearly frightening.

"Hey, Ken?" you ask, looking at him with sparkly eyes. "Sukuna and I are going on a walk, is that alright?"

"Sure. Take care!" he says and he embraces you, then shakes hands with his teammate. They have one of those silent conversations that boys have, but Kento leaves without saying anything else, but he makes sure to smile at you, as a sign that he is okay with this.

As you and Sukuna walk down the street to the park, you cannot help but ask him:

"Soooo... Is this our first date?" He looks at you in disbelief, he seems offended even.

"Do you really think that I am sloppy enough to take you here for our first date? I am a gentleman, y/n, this is what 15-year-old boys would consider a date, not me."

"Is that so? Then, when are you gonna take me on a real date?" you tease, but you're nervous that he might have changed his mind since he asked you out. You try not to show that, but Sukuna is perceptive. He knows, but he chooses not to comment on it.

"Really soon, sweetheart. Really soon."

🩵 Tag list: @ichorstainedskin @ureuphoriasworld @new-weather47 @deepchromatose @cvr2mya 🩵

[bluginkgo]

Another Nuzi rant. Don't mind me

Spoilers, duh

Since I've already done a quick character study/nuzi rant from N's side. Here's one from Uzi's side!

This is probably gonna be just me repeating things people have already said... again. But I love Uzi. (Just like every other character in Murder Drones, honestly.) But Liam did a wonderful job of making an angsty, emo girl, borderline maniac that we know as Uzi. Her character, to me at least, never became the annoying overdramatized and overused stereotype that follows her style. She has real reasons for being the way she is.

A loner, whose dad loves nothing but doors. School is not different, as her classmates pretty much forget about her existence on a day to day basis. No one to talk to, no one to connect with, gives her the angsty side that I absolutely adore. Because underneath all of that toughness is just a lonely little drone who was left by herself since early age. But guess who comes in and busts down those walls (literally and figuratively)?

Our good boi N! Despite their rough start, N never really gave Uzi a reason not to trust him. Their chance encounter, and a broken sensor, allowed them to have the talk that might have never happened. Their beginning might have been a lucky accident, but for the rest of the season, we can see how both sides had to work to make well... Nuzi work!

For Uzi, asking for help is like asking for a death sentence probably. After being on her own for so long, she doesn't expect anyone to help. With that information in mind, the first time she let's that wall crumble was episode 2, Heartbeat.

"Uzi, shoot! Or give it to me!"

Granted, we all know that was not our N. But in that moment, when Uzi was in an enough distressed state, she sought help in N. We all know how that ended, though. Absolute Solver took advantage of that and almost killed her, before N once again sweeped in to save her. The one and only notorious Nuzi misunderstanding was, for better or for worse, cleared up pretty quickly. Seeing as glitchproduction only has so much money at their disposal, they can't really drag this ordeal out. Personally, I'm glad that it didn't. The long drama that is just a misunderstanding after misunderstanding gets quite tedious to follow.

So, moving forward in The Promening, Uzi once again seeks out N when she's in distress. When she sees and hears about what Doll and Lizzy were gonna do, she books it to the only person she knows can help her.

N! Now don't get me wrong. Uzi, by herself is plenty strong. She's shown off her fighting and capabilities, and would have probably been able to take V on. She's taken J down before, aaaand Uzi does technically also take V down in Cabin Fever. But she still went out of her way to go find N. So they could work together and get this mess sorted out.

And then there's this. God I love Cabin Fever, and surprisingly no, not for the Falling.... for you? scene. No, I loved the entire Uzi going on murder spree because she can! The music was such a banger too. But back to Uzi. She recognizes V and briefly snaps back to her usual self. Curious isn't it? N and Uzi both tried reaching out to V, but because V is so untrusting (and we all understand why from ep 5, Home). Here Uzi tried to ask V for help... in form of N.

I find it interesting how ever since Uzi met N and V, she's been getting better at asking for help. Sure, V shot her down because, once again, V was scared. Uzi was turning into the monster that only Cyn has been capable of creating. This soon leads to N yeeting Uzi into the f*cking stratosphere and the two have a chat.

I love how the animators included Uzi hiding behind her bat wings.

Her metaphorical walls were back up. And guess who broke them yet again.

The bestest boi N! And ever since this moment, N and Uzi are way more open.

Episode 5 was taking place in N's memories. But episode 6 is where their trust and care shines. Yeah, sure, there was the hand holding. And it was a big moment! But I enjoyed the little things more. Uzi checking in on N, nodding at his little comments and jokes.

Summary: I love Nuzi. Send help they're on my mind 24/7.

[hee0soo]

The Meaning of a Flower

Pairing — ChoiJonghoxafab!Reader

Summary — The language of flowers was something Jongho had never bothered with. Maybe he should have tho...

Genre — angst

Warnings — Jongho being an idiot, mentioned arranged marriage

Wordcount — 2.2k

Rating — pg-13

A/N — This is for the CODN Spring Event - The Language of Flowers

I couldn't hold myself back and used more flowers then one hehe

Carnation - fascination, distinction, love

Daffodil - respect

Daisy - faith

Camellia (white) - waiting

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!

As the youngest prince of the fae kingdom Aurora, Jongho didn't have as many responsibility’s as his brothers. He didn't have to worry about the crown that would soon be placed on his brothers head or about the expectations everyone had because of it!

No, he could simply be Jongho, at least until the winter came. Born a winter fae, it was up to him to bring the beauty of frost and snow to the mortal realm! He loved his season. It was where he felt the most comfortable as the winter came with a great boost for his energy and magic, making his fingers feel all prickly, excited to be properly released once more and giving his fingers a lovely sparkling blue hue!

While people at first glance thought him to be just like his season, cold and unapproachable, anyone who truly knew him knew that it couldn't be further from the truth! Soft like a teddy bear and endlessly devoted to his friends and family!

And then there was you. His beautiful bride to be and as a fairy of spring the bane of his existence! While there had always been a sort of rivalry between the seasonal fae, Jongho had a particularly strong sense of dislike for you. Being a springfae, you represented his one weakness! With the change of season, spring brought the gentle warmth of the sun, melting away the ice and snow and quickly replacing the cold the prince loved and lived for!

Short, he didn't like what you represented.

The fact that his parents had seen it necessary to arrange a betrothal between you and him when both of you were mere specks of sparkly fairy dust in the sun, did absolutely not help! It fueled his dislike with every try of his and parents to get you to at least be civil around each other. In your life, there had been countless times where two sulking fairy children were seen fluttering their wings at each other like angry birds trying to intimidate the other! He had found you greatly annoying, a sentiment you shared with him!

The prince hated the flowers that would appear seemingly out of nowhere all over the palace that seemed to have everyone charmed into liking you. He was seething at the sight of all the Carnations, Daffodils, Daisys and white blooming Camellias you left for him, knowing that he didn't bother to find out what they represented! They filled him with a burning warmth that he had never felt before in his life...

Huffing out a breath, Jongho watched the ice he had conjured up slowly engulf the little carnation placed on his pillow. Disdain crossed his face as he stared at it like it had personally offended him in some way before grabbing it to throw it to all the others into the threaded bin placed by his desk. The prince didn't understand why you kept leaving him these little presents when he had made it clear, more then once, that they weren't welcomed at all.

From sending them back to you, frozen and picked apart or just throwing them out wordlessly, he had made sure that you knew what he thought about it! It was do a point where even Hongjoong, his oldest brother and crown prince had sat him down to scold him about being incredibly rude to you and your feelings but it had just made him scoff and roll his eyes. What did his brother know about this, he had thought only to continue doing exactly as before.

Today however, he finally had enough! Without a moment of hesitance, he grabbed the flower filled bin, stormed out of his room down the hallway and into your room.

To say you were surprised to see him in your room was an understatement. Never had he seen it necessary to give you the time of the day much less actually search for your company or even recognize your presence! So to see your betrothed suddenly standing in the midst of your room while you were busy going over different spells you wanted to try for your upcoming season, was quite startling.

You opened your mouth, ready great him with a smile but Jongho faster. He emptied the bin on your desk, letting the petals fall out and give you a glare that had you frozen to your chair. The room suddenly felt a lot colder then just seconds before.

"Stop that!" he snapped and gestured to the pile. You looked down at it without knowing what to say. Usually you were always ready to match his snappy energy but seeing the withered flowers you had left him falling out of a bin left you speechless. They weren't ment to taunt him in anyway even if he obviously thought that, but more of a peace offering if not a message for him to read.

"I mean it y/n, stop sending me these stupid flowers! How many do I have to throw away for you to understand that I don't want them?" Jongho asked the hand that wasn't still holding the piece of furniture running through his hair and breathing heavy.

Something inside of you shattered at his words. To tell a spring fae that their flowers weren't wanted, could be considered as them saying that they didn't want you! Of course you knew that the youngest prince was  particularly phased by the gifts but you had hoped that by now, he had grown to like them a bit. It seemed that wasn't the case.

"Okay…”you exhaled with a slight nod of your head.

Maybe it was time to stop hoping and just accept things the way they were.

With a curt nod and one last scowl the man left you behind. Fingers gently touching a withered Camellia . Maybe it was time to stop waiting...

--------

The flowers stayed away. Nowhere in the entire castle were they found.

And Jongho hated it!

There was a cold falling on the castle that settled in his bones he didn't know how to feel about. Gone were the Daisys, Carnations and Daffodils and gone were the Camellias!

He didn't dare admit it to anyone, but he missed them and he missed you. Few had seen you since the encounter a few weeks ago save for Seonghwa and Yeosang your best friends and your missing presence had been greatly noticed!  Jongho was  confused as to why he suddenly felt so forlorn without you drying to annoy the living daylights out of him. It was almost boring now that he thought about it.

Instead of having your presence following him out into the gardens or the library or the dinning halls, you stayed away, giving him the space he had demanded for so long. Only that now he didn't want that anymore! Why didn't he want that anymore?!

The question plagued him to no end but his pride didn't want to acknowledge it.

"You seem to be deep in your thoughts, want to share them with me?" the deep voice of Yeosang ripped him out of his trance and his eyes flew away from the blooming fields of the palace garden.

The ethereal looking water fae eyed the younger carefully and moved to sit next to him. His transparent glimmering wings shone bright in the light of the sun.

"Don't look so surprised, you're not the only fae enjoying the warmth of spring!" he quipped.

Insulted by the mere suggestion of the other, the princes face fell drastically.

"I don't! And I have no idea what you're talking about!" he pouted.

"I'm talking about your mood that's been getting worse and worse. Come on Jongho, I know you don't like that I'm friends with y/n but I'm still your's, so talk to me?"

Yeosang watched Jongho play with his fingers, his wings twitching nervously.

The winter fae groaned in distress and looked at Yeosang. "Why do I feel like that?"

Yeosang raised a questioning eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

For a few seconds the only thing that could be heard was the chirping of the birds while Jongho thought about what to say. "I- I feel lost lonely, like something is missing but I dont know what or- "

"Or who?" Yeosangs cut in causing an affronted gasp from the other.

"What? No! I have everyone I need by my side!"

"But do you? Nothing changed?"

"Can you stop answering with questions? Seriously, I have no idea what you mean,"

Jongho rolled his eyes, orbs flickering ice blue for a moment. Yeosang held up his hands in surrender. "Just think about it, did really nothing change? Cause I think I know of some changes that could be the cause for all this brooding recently."

He hated that Yeosang was right in his assumption of that being the reason for his mood swings.

"Ahh, I see I've hit a nerve there!" Another glare at the water fae before turning back to the carnations blooming in front of him.

"Do you know what they mean? The flowers y/n left for you?"

It was embarrassing to say that he still had no idea what they meant and it was obvious to Yeosang that he didn't know. Years of receiving flowers and yet never had he cared nor thought about wanting to know about the meanings behind them! It was common knowledge that just like plant fairys, spring fairys used plants and flowers to deliver hidden messages but he always had thought of them as a taunt, never as a message.

"Maybe you should find out before it's to late. y/n is considering visiting the mortal realm this season and will leave soon..."

Somehow that information caused Jongho to freeze in horror.

No! You couldn't leave!  You were needed here! In this realm! In this palace! with hi-

The winter fae shook his head, hoping to shake this ridiculous thought from his mind. Why would he care if you left or not? He hated you, that didn't change even if he would like to have his flowers back!

"Well, what do they mean then? You were all talk already so tell me already!" he huffed, sure that he knew already what they meant. After all you did seem to have the same dislike for him that he had for you!

"You want to know? Really? Sure! Maybe we'll start with the Carnations since they're right here, let's see..." Yeosang tapped his cheek, mocking the other a little who fluttered his wings impatiently.

"Carnations, I think stand for fascination, the Daffodils mean respect, Daisys for faith and the white Camellias signify waiting..."

Okay, maybe he didn't know the meanings after all!

Fascination. Respect. Faith. Waiting.

Confused the prince stared at the flowers swaying in the wind. 4 Words he would have never thought to associate with you!

"You're lying to me!" he called the older out, causing a chuckle to burst out from him.

"Surprised to hear that y/n might not hate you after all?"

Jongho jumped up from where he was sitting. A sudden onslaught of anger coming over him.

"No you're lying to me! She doesn't think that highly of me! She's not fascinated by me and she sure doesn't respect me or have faith in me! Why would she? All i have ever been to her was dismissive! And what could she even wait for?" he whisper yelled, not wanting to alert any of the guards that were hovering in the distance.

"I don't know but the way you've been acting, you might never find out," The water fae shrugged and looked at him innocently.

Jongho rushed away, wanting to confront you about the nonsense your friend had spewed and frazzled him like nothing ever had in his life. However all he could find was a maid, also a fairy of Spring, cleaning your room but you were nowhere in sight!

"Oh, my prince! What can I help you with?" she chirped surprised.

"My fiance! Where is she?" he demanded hectically.

"The lady has left through a portal to the mortal realm not to long ago, your highness!"

The was knocked out of his lungs all of a sudden and before the maid could excuse herself he asked if what the water fae had said was true. The girl nodded. "Yes my prince, in general that is what these flowers are used to express this, however the Carnations are more common to tell someone they love them,"

With that she flew out and left his world standing on it's head! He sank down on your bed, slowly breathing to calm his franticly beating heart.

This couldn't be! You couldn't love him! It was just impossible!

And then all he could think about were the moments you had spent together! From childhood till now and every interaction suddenly seemed to shine in an entirely different light and the burning heat he had felt in all of them now felt much less like the hate he had thought it was and more like something equally as burning but much less negative!

But there was nothing he could do!

Now all he could do was wait for you to come back...

[gorgonwrites]

bound to you, part 3

diluc x fem!reader

wc: 1, 844

author's note: im really edging all of us with this rn goddamn

cw: fem!reader, 18+, no *actual* smut in this chapter but smut from last part is mentioned, MDNI!!!, mentions of anxiety, reader is DEF hiding her feelings, diluc is a soft man because i say so. cheesy "where is my wife" mentioned bc i live for that shit

Did you really leave your door open? You frowned, sitting up in your bed. You were almost positive you closed it, but you had been so needy earlier that your memory felt blurry. You were quiet, though, and no one had a room near your chambers. You fell back onto your pillows, looking out your window at the night sky. Did you really just come undone on your fingers, singing praises to your absent husband? The thought annoyed you, reminding yourself that Diluc pulled away from your touch just this afternoon. You rolled your eyes at the thought and turned away from your window. You considered whether or not you really wanted to know more about your husband, or if your lust earlier had completely clouded your mind. It was definitely lust, nothing more you reasoned. As you kept going over the afternoon’s events, you slowly drifted to sleep in hopes of coming to a better conclusion tomorrow. 

“What do you mean he left this morning? I thought he was finished with business for the season?” you were interrogating Adelinde while you ate your breakfast. Diluc had left the winery and no one knew when he would return. 

“Like I said my Lady, sometimes Diluc has to go away for weeks on end. It can be sudden, but we get along just fine. Don’t worry too much, okay?” you stared at her and finally let out a huff. 

“He said he would spend time with me,” you grumbled, “Not that I care. He can’t stand being near me anyways.” you quickly added after seeing Adelinde’s satisfied smirk as you pouted over your husband’s absence. As she began to clear your dishes from the table, you crossed your arms over your chest. How long would he be away this time? 

After a few days of following Adelinde around begging her to give you anything to do, you finally gave up. Your restlessness knew no end, and you were close to leaving the manor to travel back to Fontaine just to have something to do. As you began to actually consider that thought, there was a loud knock on the manor’s front door. You excitedly bolted to the entrance of the manor, ready to give your husband a piece of your mind. You ran past several maids who were also making their way down to the parlor to greet their unannounced guest. You arrived at the door out of breath, and stood for a moment to compose yourself and smooth your hair before you opened it. To your dismay, it wasn’t your husband on the other side. A young woman with ears and two tails stood in front of you with a package. 

“Lady y/n? Kirara. I have a delivery here for you from Liyue!” you stared at her, dumbstruck. You didn’t know anyone from Liyue. Confused, you remained silent. Kirara furrowed her brows, checking her delivery address again. 

“Lady y/n. That’s you, right? This is the Ragnvindr residence?” 

“Ah, yes it is, I apologize for my behavior. I’ll take that.” You gently took the package from her hands, and smiled as the young woman ran off to continue her delivery route. You looked at the name on the package. Lady y/n Ragnvindr. It still felt strange seeing your husband's last name after your own. Feeling the maid’s eyes on you in the parlor, you excused yourself to your chambers where you could open the box privately. 

You sat on your bed with the package in your lap, carefully snipping the strings that held it shut. You opened it and found beautiful red packaging paper inside with a small note on top. It read:

I have heard that this is the best paint in all of Teyvat, hand crafted by an Adeptus here in Liyue. Use them to your heart’s content.

-D

It couldn’t be. You continued to unwrap your gift, only to discover an assortment of paint that you had only ever dreamed of. It was indeed handcrafted by a reclusive Adeptus from Liyue, and it was incredibly expensive. Considering all of the colors your husband purchased for you, it meant he had given up a hefty sum for them. Your breath hitched in your chest, and you brought the note to your lips. What would you paint? You briefly thought about repainting Diluc’s portrait but you were quickly engulfed by embarrassment just at the thought. What about the Winery? And the vineyard! They were two things that were incredibly important to your husband. You bolted upright and immediately began gathering your things to set up an easel and canvas outside for the perfect view. 

After Adelinde helped you set up your easel on a hill across from the Winery, you quickly got to work. The paints were so smooth and so pigmented you wanted to jump from the excitement. You spent hours that afternoon painting, your mind drifting off peacefully as you worked. Each day you woke up, ate breakfast, and spent hours on that hill trying to capture your home on the canvas perfectly. After a week, you felt you were close to being finished. You just needed a hint of azure blue to finish the sky. You turned too quickly and knocked your paints and brushes all over the ground. With a huff, you crouched to clean up your mess. 

Diluc was relieved to be home. He was only gone for a week and a half this time, but he was exhausted. Adelinde greeted him in the parlor, delegating tasks to the maids so he didn’t have to lift a finger as soon as he walked inside. He sighed with relief. 

“Thank you, Addy. I’m happy to be home.” Adelinde tsked at the old nickname, but she greeted Diluc with a smile.

“Welcome home, Master Diluc. Would you like to change into something more comfortable?” He did, actually, and he wanted to find you as well to apologize for his abrupt absence. While he had been almost too worn out to venture out to Liyue to tie up some loose ends on wine deliveries to Sumeru, he was grateful for the distance after accidentally stumbling upon you touching yourself as his name fell from your lips. 

Damn it, he thought. Of course he was rock hard as soon as the memory flared in his mind. He changed slowly, to let himself regain his composure before he started searching the manor for you. He first went to your chambers, prepared to be more careful than last time. Your door was ajar, though, and he stepped inside only to be greeted by the quiet breeze blowing in from your window. He slowly explored the room, trying to control his urge to pry. He did, however, notice a note at your bedside. It was the handwritten note he sent with your paints. Seeing it set out made him smile, his anxiety being replaced with a warmth blooming in his chest. He moved on, searching the main rooms and even the kitchen in the manor. His anxiety crept back into its permanent home in his chest, and he quickened his pace. He became increasingly stressed after each room, realizing there was no sign of you anywhere. Diluc found Adelinde again in the parlor, agitated.

“Where is my wife?” it sounded more aggressive than he intended, but he was beginning to tire from your continued pushing of his boundaries. He’d give you anything Teyvat had to offer, if only you’d ask. He simply wanted you to stay within the safety his manor provided while he was away. 

“Your wife is outside working, Master Diluc.” Adelinde’s usual playful tone was absent from her voice. Diluc rubbed his palms over his face, ready to crack. This was another boundary you continued to push. He appreciated the enthusiasm you displayed, truly he did. He knew his employees adored it about you as well, but as the Master and last remaining heir of the Ragnvindr clan, he felt there were expectations he needed to meet. One of them being his wife not working tirelessly out in the vineyards. Normally Diluc could care less for expectations but with the Lords of Fontaine breathing down his neck, he became increasingly aware that he sometimes needed to play by the rules. He took a slow breath, and thanked Adelinde before heading out to find you. 

You finished cleaning up the last of your brushes, carefully picking out each strand of grass that was entangled in the bristles. Satisfied with your work, you turned around and slammed right into your husband's broad chest. You look up, only to see his amused face looking back at you. He seemed relieved about something. You push away from him, trying to create some distance between you. He reaches out and swipes a smear of green paint from your sunburned cheeks. 

“Beautiful.” he whispers, his touch lingering. You see the crinkles around his eyes form and you chance a quick look at his lips. 

“The painting, of course.” Diluc grins as your expression sours. You could only grumble wordlessly in response. You turned away, hoping to put the final touches on your painting in peace. Your husband didn’t leave, though, and you became increasingly fidgety under his watchful gaze. 

“I don’t think I meant to paint for an audience when I came out here.” you were doing everything you could to stifle the joy you felt knowing Diluc was home. The manor felt emptier than usual when he was gone this time but you’d never admit that. You began to consider backing out of your plan of giving this painting to him- it felt too personal. Though you did consider the paints he bought you to be a very personal gift, even if he had no idea that you’d always wanted them. 

“You’ve been putting them to good use, I see.” he sounded proud of himself. 

“Yes, I have.” you turned and met his gaze, “Thank you, so much. I actually painted this… for you.” You felt a flush rising to your cheeks and you hoped your face was pink enough to disguise it. He tilted his head, and glanced between you and the painting. You continued,

“I know they cost a fortune. You shouldn’t have.” 

“It's the least I could do for you, after leaving so quickly. I wanted to apologize for my absence.” That was a first. Usually Diluc came and left the winery without a word. Up until recently you both had avoided each other easily, unconcerned with unnecessary chatter. 

“Oh, I- please don’t apologize. I understand how busy you are, there’s no need to dwell on it.” you began to turn away again, but Diluc caught your hand in one of his own. This time it was you that recoiled from the sudden touch, surprised that he’d reach out to you so casually. Your gazes locked, and you could feel your steeled resolve melting by the second. 

“Master Dil- ah… Diluc. Would you like to paint with me this afternoon? 

[ravenalla]

Just watched the new helluva episode and..ugh okay opinions under the cut.

Some people are saying this episode is better than the others of season 2. And while visually it’s stunning and not as directly insulting as some of the others, I think this episode is one of the best examples of how these writers don’t understand pacing, comedic timing, or creating a coherent plot. The cuts between locations happen way too fast, some scenes feel like they were written under a minute just to add fluff (like the Moxxie hat fight, Blitz talking with the woman in the waiting room and the entire joke once again just being a character saying curse words or insults multiple times in a sentence, camera crews conveniently being at the hospital to see Stolas hurt for some reason.) Also god Stella. At least when they made her a one-dimensional boring villain she was competent at being one. Now she just looks like a whiny idiot so they could have her brother be there for no reason.

Speaking of which, that was a damn terrible introduction to Andrealphus. Unless your following updates about the show on Twitter, you don’t know who the fuck that is, why he’s here or what his connection to either Stella or Stolas is until now, there’s only been one passing mention she even had a brother before this. He’s just suddenly there with no proper introduction, and then Striker just appears now to kidnap Stolas in front of tons of other people (I guess him trying to kill Stolas with the angelic weapon hidden in the shadows didn’t matter that much after all) and take him back to an underground lair he has for some reason. He also brings up the classist system and Stolas’s bigotry but it doesn’t matter because he hurt the poor uwu prince baby 🙄 I swear it feels like this show is AI generated at this point, or at the very least the writers know that the pretty animation and shipping fuel will keep diehard fans around so they don’t actually have to make anything tightly written and can just do whatever random hodgepodge of scenes and dialogue they like. Which whatever its clear this show is just “the sex joke” show most of the time, but don’t then try to tell me this is some masterclass of writing and character development when the entire climax of Stolas and Blitz’s relationship problems at Ozzie’s was addresses ENTIRELY OFFSCREEN THROUGH TEXT MESSAGES. Even if you ship Stolas and Blitz, how the hell can you accept that? That’s the sloppiest way they could have handled that, I don’t even like this show and I feel disrespected lmao.

And just the way they tried to make us “feel” for their relationship this episode. Why the hell would Blitz be so shocked Stolas could get hurt, you literally fought Striker before because he was two seconds away from killing Stolas instantly otherwise?? You were hired to be his bodyguard in one episode! Like yeah maybe actually seeing it happen is causing the reality of it to sink in for Blitz, but everything we’ve been shown so far INCLUDING IN THIS EPISODE shows how much he does not care that much about Stolas and at best has a mild acceptance of him (at least outside of seeing stars which everybody’s already talked about how weird that entire thing was). I literally have no idea why we are suppose to be rooting for these two to get together at this point. It’s just watching uwu Stolas get hurt over and over again so we can pity the guy and wonder why Blitz wont love him boohoo 🙄 it’s annoying and not fun to watch. Also this might be more of a nitpick, but did anyone else think characters looked weirdly off model a lot in this episode? Like yeah the animation was impressive at some points during the action scenes but during regular dialogue it looked like it was done by a completely different studio than the other episodes, especially with Stella, Andrealphus, Millie, and Moxxie. Not sure what that’s about or if I’m just imagining it.

[elvisabutler]

i'm on my knees and i can't wait to taste your rain

summary: austin is such a good boy for his mama. the best of boys especially at the oscars. rating: m. word count: 1943 ( blurbs, i said. blurbs. ) warnings: mommy kink. oral ( f ). dom/sub dynamic. anxiety attacks being alluded to as well as general anxiety. public play. vibrating cockring. orgasm control. the oscars? author's note: so. welcome to day three of kinktober: mommy kink with austin. if i haven't made it very clear, i love writing sub austin so much. you could give me a million prompts of it and i'd enjoy writing this man being a good boy. absolute puppy of a man, y'all. also treat me nice fans, peep me dropping sub austin in another closet/bathroom. i'm really enjoying kinktober, y'all. if you knew the things i had up my sleeves. also gif credit to @karamelcoveredolicity who blessed us all with this.

Austin is a good boy, a good man, a good puppy. He's polite to a fault, hardworking and one of the kindest souls you have every had the pleasure of knowing. Austin is gorgeous but seems to enjoy pretending he isn't, he seems to enjoy pretending that if acting doesn't pan out he could model. It'd be annoying on anyone but Austin.

But Austin is also one of the more anxious people you've met. He stays too much in his own head and can't always get himself out of it. You realize this when he's so nervous for an interview that he's shaking and no matter what trick or technique he tried he couldn't calm himself. The only thing that had worked was your hands on his shoulders telling he'd be okay over and over until you had heard him say "I heard you, mama" softly. The phrase sends such a shock to your system that you drop your hands so quickly you'd have thought Austin's skin was on fire. Austin's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something- anything- to explain himself before he's dragged to the proper backstage. You weren't his mama, you had done something like that other people, but to Austin? No, that hadn't crossed your mind. You weren't sure if you could do it. You stay in the dressing room until Austin comes back in. His lower lip is essentially completely in his mouth has he gnaws on it. You frown realizing just how far he's back in his head looking at you.

"Tell mama what's wrong, baby boy." You whisper as you stand up and take his hands in your own.

The relief on his face at your words and the way he sags against your body tell you that you made the right choice with your words that night. You learned just how much he needed a mama like you, someone to help him, someone to be there for him when others wouldn't be or wouldn't do. It made you wonder why you ever thought you couldn't do this with him. As he said that night and so many other nights in your lap.

"I think you might have been made just for me. Just to be my mama and to live your own life."

He only ever has said it in your lap, you never press about it otherwise.

Oscar season was going to be rough no matter what, you both knew this. It's why you had made sure that your schedule- as packed as it normally was at the beginning of the year was clear. It was an adjustment, telling your job that yes, you needed this time blocked off and if anyone needed your help you'd be available to talk but not for extensive amounts of time. You didn't usually attach conditions to your relationship with Austin, either as his mama or as his girlfriend but you had asked him to after award season was done to respect the fact that you were going to basically be living at the office. He had agreed with a bit of a pouty lip, but he was an adult, he could handle it.

It's the night of the ceremony and you specifically had told Austin that while it was the most important night of his life, he also needed to be in the moment enough to enjoy it. The two of you had come up with the idea of the vibrating cockring. By now- months from that interview you had learned that controlling when Austin could orgasm- controlling how hard his cock could be- was the best way to ensure he stayed focused and in the moment with you. You know you're not famous enough to be next to him in the cast pictures, you're not famous at all really but you still try and stay close, the remote for his cock ring in the pocket of your dress. It's in one of the photos on the red carpet that you see his hand shaking behind Priscilla's back and you turn up the vibration setting one level.

You can hear his intake of breath from a distance and you see his hand has stopped shaking before you realize that he's walking over to you with eyes that have had their pupils overtake most of the iris. His hand moves to grab your arm in an attempt to pull you close enough for him to whisper in your ear.

"Mama, I can't- you can't do that when I'm by Priscilla, she thought something was wrong." He practically hisses. There's no malice in his tone just worry that he exposed himself.

You smile for the cameras that are taking both of your pictures before leaning in to his ear and turning the vibration up one more level. "I'm your mama, baby boy, I can do it when I want. You were shaking. You needed it."

He opens his mouth to deny it before you raise your eyebrows and tilt your head just so, a sign that he knows means you will accept no arguments from him. Instead he shuts his mouth and moves to kiss you, something he knows the camera will enjoy. Austin Butler, man of the hour, the one who's likely to be the only one to take on Brendan Fraser for the best actor prize, kissing his lawyer girlfriend. He grabs your face as he's done a million times, both hands cupping your cheeks and you for once mirror him in front of the cameras, your own hands moving to cup his cheeks. He nuzzles into them and you can't help the soft smile that crosses your lips as you kiss him when you feel it.

"Color, baby boy?" You ask as you pull away.

"Green." A beat, and a murmur. "Need you though, mama. Need to taste your pussy when we go in. Please?"

You chuckle softly as you pull away. "Be good and we'll see."

Being good was a challenge, it shouldn't have been but you decided to up the ante to make sure Austin didn't start to panic about what was going to be happening tonight. What might not happen tonight. By the time you and him are at the end of the red carpet Austin's practically vibrating as if the cockring is making his whole body vibrate with it. His arm is around you and his mouth is by your ear the second you're away from the constant flashes of cameras.

"Please mama, please, I've been good. You're being mean but I'm such a good boy. Such a great boy for you." The words come out in what sounds like Elvis's southern drawl, half slurred and you find that it does something for you. Enough of something that you find yourself dragging him to the nearest room with a lock and forcing him in there. The second the door is locked you're bunching up your dress. The joys of buying your own and wearing it, you didn't have to worry about a designer getting mad you wrecked it.

"On your knees, Austin." You say as you shimmy out of your underwear.

He doesn't even hesitate his knees hitting the floor with a thump that has you wincing before you feel his tongue against your slit, causing a surprised "oh" to leave your mouth. He blows a puff of cold air against the warm line he had just left before humming and diving in. He eats you out like a man starved, his tongue flicking at your clit before dipping into your cunt a pale imitation of his dick or his fingers but the sensation of something slipping in and out of your cunt as quick as his tongue does has you gripping at the table behind you. He pulls away when he realizes your hands aren't in his hair.

"Hair, mama."

Two words before he's back against your core, focusing his attention on sucking at your clit, his faint 5 o'clock shadow scraping at cunt and the insides of your thighs. You let your hands move down to his hair, pulling it and earning a groan as well as a shiver from him. You know you have to be quiet, you two can't get caught, not tonight of all nights so you bite your lips even as you feel Austin's fingers join his tongue, curling just so to have your hips bucking against his face his nose putting pressure on your clit. You two are going to get caught but maybe it's worth it. Maybe it's worth it to make your baby boy happy, to give him the reward he deserved for being so good on the red carpet. To give him an incentive to be good throughout the ceremony.

"Such a good boy for your mama, Austin. The best boy a mama can ask for, god, baby, right there, fuck-" You whimper your thighs clenching around his head as you feel yourself right on the edge of coming. Austin smiles against you and nips at your clit and you clench even tighter as your toes curl and you lean back, your head hitting the wall behind you and your back arching before you come back down in a flash. Austin doesn't stop licking, almost as if he's trying to clean up the mess he made of you before he pulls back, his mouth covered in your juices.

"Best boy?" His eyes are a little lidded, but not enough that you're concerned for his well being. This is what he needed, this should settle him enough for most of the ceremony.

Your hand moves to the lapel of his jacket and you use the grip to pull him up to a standing position as best as you can. "The absolute best boy. A boy who's earned not having the cock ring on. Because mama knows her best boy can hold off on coming without it. Can't he?"

He nods slowly as he watches your hand sneak into his pants and with an ease he marvels at, manage to get the ring off without too much trouble. He sees your underwear on the floor and grabs them as you put the cock ring in your clutch. You eye the underwear until he says something.

"Can I keep them for a good luck charm tonight?" He asks, his face contorting into what you'd like to say is the best impression of a puppy dog that you've ever seen before. It makes your heart hurt and feel so full of love that you can't help but kiss Austin before you answer, tasting yourself on his lips.

"You can. Going to keep being a good boy tonight?" It's a question you don't need to ask but you figure checking in won't hurt as you straighten out your dress.

"With your panties in my pocket? Why wouldn't I be, mama?" He looks in the mirror and fixes his hair before turning to you. "Back out to that?"

"Back out to that, baby boy." You nod, taking his hand and squeezing it. "You're gonna win. Trust me when Mama says that."

He does and when he's thanking his mama in his speech everyone thinks he's just talking about Lori. And you know he is, but you also know his eyes don't ever leave yours when he says I couldn't have done this without my mama and you know it wasn't just her he was talking about. He might be the best boy in all of world to you, but to him, you might just be the best mama in all of the world.

[luckyqueenreign]

Hello o/ I've recently started playing litg again, I left after 4th mid-season after lame-ass Will coupled with Thabi, I haven't played the 5th season bc I've heard that it's hot garbage, could you please tell me why? I don't mind spoilers, but I haven't found any answers other than that. Thank you a lot!

Ohhhh babe settle in while I relive that dumpster fire, this is going to be a long one…

Anyone who’s played s5 will back me on this, If you were annoyed with Will leaving us for Thabi, I STRONGLY advise you to not even *think* about playing s5.

First let’s start off with MC…she was… not cute. For reference:

And I know that after a few weeks fb gave us more options and all of our MCs either became cuter in our eyes or maybe we all just felt extremely sorry for her because of the horrible experience she was having. Let’s get into that next…

Your MC walks into the villa and immediately is greeted by none other than her super hot, narcissistic, cheating ex, Suresh. Normally I would have to tell you oh I did X route so some of my choices will defer from yours if you pick another choice, but NOPE not in s5! Because we had ZERO choice. For first recoupling whether you want to or not, you are coupled with your ex, Suresh. Then he is fawning over you IMMEDIATELY, he’s jealous, running around after you, trying everything to win you back. And you can choose every single positive interaction saying you want him back too and the game doesn’t care. It literally won’t let you get back with him until the very end. But on the other spectrum, if you don’t want to be with him, he will not leave you alone no matter how much you beg.

As for LI choices, at the start you are given TWO. (I say at the start, but to be honest you’re really only give 2 for the majority of the season) One being Alfie and the other being Dana. Now every season before this and every season after, one of the girls always asks if you are into girls and this determines whether they will have girls grafting you or not. Well your answer doesn’t matter here. You could have said I’m the straightest person on earth and Dana would still hit on you everyday and get sad whenever anyone else showed interest in you. Oh and because there were only two other girls in the villa and one being your bully, dana was also meant to be your best friend and CONSTANTLY let you know that she was. By interrupting any and all conversations you were having, even good ones! You’re about to kiss your LI? Here comes Dana! There’s a lot more to unpack on Dana but I’ll get back to her later, just remember she’s your “best friend” in the villa.

As for the bully I mentioned, every season prior to this it’s been clear that whenever someone was coming after us, it’s because they were jealous that MC was “that girl”, s5 blurred those lines and became full on bullying. First with Kat, who went into full attack mode when MC even breathed in the direction of the two boys she was after. Her first and very brief LI was Alfie, who if MC just hugs garners a feral reaction from Kat screeching at her to leave him alone. And then her second LI, Finn who comes in as the first bombshell and Kat drops everything to be with him. Throughout the season anytime she feels any sort of jealousy she takes it out on MC and MC NEVER fires back!

Then we get two new bullies bombshells, Meera and Arlo. Suresh starts heavily flirting with Arlo, which I’m sorry but wasn’t he just up our asses literally yesterday?? And legit, who wrote this season and thought this was ok?? bc even if I hated my ex it wouldn’t be nice to see him flirting with someone else. Meera comes across like a super nice girl while Arlo becomes our second bully! Yay! Again even if you don’t want to be with Suresh, Arlo acts as if you do. And after a prolonged recoupling Suresh chooses Arlo, Alfie chooses MC and Meera is sent home (more on her later) Now if you wanted to be with him you’re probably thinking wtf Suresh?? And if you don’t you’re probably thinking, finally I’m free!! But NOPE when he couples up with Arlo that’s when he decides he’s going super full on and starts going after MC even harder. He wears the shirt she bought him for an anniversary on a date, he tries/kisses MC in the bedroom (depends on your choice) and just overall is doing everything to win MC back except for being honest and dumping Arlo to be with MC. Well Kat sees the kiss/hug/rejection and still tells the entire villa that you and Suresh were kissing in bed. The whole villa erupts, Alfie/Dana rush off and are super pissed at you, they won’t even let you explain yourself. So then you try to go find Alfie/Dana and you go to the roof terrace only to find Alfie kissing Kat or Dana kissing Eddie (if you’re on her route he’s coupled with Dana but she doesn’t really like him) OH and just a reminder, you have past trauma from when your long term ex CHEATED ON YOU. Alfie/Dana knew about this the whole time and yet STILL kissed someone else. Then Suresh takes this opportunity where you’re at your lowest again to apologize for cheating and tells you have until tonight to decide if you want to be with him or not. The girls also ask that night who you want to be with and your given the choice of Alfie/Suresh and when you go to tell one of them who you want to be with….they’re gone! YUP! They’re off to casa!!

And you might be thinking, after all that drama casa might be a nice break! A few days of freedom from the mess that’s gone down. THINK AGAIN BESTIE! While you’re at casa you get a major surprise! Remember that girl Suresh cheated on you with??? Oh yea the producers decide to drop her into YOUR casa villa. So you have to come face to face with Gabby, the girl that your ex cheated with. Now this was obviously a massive departure from the irl show because they’ve never thrown a girl into the girls villa at casa amor before. And remember your bestie Dana?? Oh yea she gets SUPER hot and bothered by Gabby and decides she wants to bring her back into the villa.. now I know you’re probably thinking wait but what if your on Dana’s route?? Obviously she wouldn’t cheat on MC with Eddie and then bring back the girl that Suresh cheated with!! WELL SHE DID BB!!!

Throughout the season we’ve been given very little detail about Suresh and MCs relationship. We know he cheated, he said it was a one time thing, MC found out about it from a picture on his phone. OH how could I forget!! We also find out that MC was going to propose to Suresh!! The day before he cheated she bought a ring! Well that’s all we knew until gabby says nah we were more than just a one time thing, he had a tooth brush at my place! We dated for months!

So now casa is over and we’re going back, the game doesn’t let us go back single and we have to pick either Nicholas or Johnny to bring back to the villa. Doesn’t matter who you choose they go nuts regardless. So now Gabby is back in the main villa thanks to your “bestie” and Suresh is STRESSING. Because obviously he left out some crucial details! And you would think ok we’re immediately going to talk to him? NOPE we need a fucking girls chat with the new casa girls. Lulu, Suresh’s new girl…Meera is back with alfie and remember that nice girl? Well she’s gone and we now have a full on bitch in her place aka Bully #3. Eddie is sent packing and tells us that whichever guy you like / Dana still really likes you and thought about you the whole time during casa. Cool cool cool but will any of them tell you this?? Nah lol! So you get pulled in the middle of your slumber for a chat with Gabby and Suresh. He tells you in front of Gabby he cheated once but then mc broke up with him and he went to gabby and they dated for 5 months. Full on rebound relationship. He tells them both that he never loved Gabby and that MC is the only one he’s ever loved. Well she’s not having that! Gabby goes full on delulu and basically doesn’t accept what he’s said. Now at the time there was major upset online about Gabby not being romance-able bc in all fairness she was extremely hot. So the game now allows you to romance Gabby and you’d think they’d change SOME of the interactions but NOPE they didn’t. So basically the entire time she’s running after Suresh trying to win him back. So much so that she explodes one day and reveals to everyone that he was going to propose!! Shock and awe all around the villa while everyone looks pitifully at MC.. at this point in the gameplay I think we were all so tired at the sheer embarrassment we were enduring weekly. And then Suresh announces hey that wasn’t for you dummy it was for MC!! Buttttt remember when he found out weeks ago that MC was going to propose??? Why tf didn’t he say anything then?? BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE. Oh and speaking of making sense… if you’re on Suresh’s route and you somehow survive the weekly torture, I kind of blacked out at the end, but he proposes and MC obviously wins because she should.

I know I left out so much bullying (Nicolas and Eddie) and so much other shit that goes down, but this was getting too long. Bestie if you’re still here, all in all just don’t play it. You’ll have severe ptsd from it. You’re better off reading all of the fanfics the amazing fandom created.

[lunabug2004]

RANT INCOMING: So these last few months I've watched tons of reactions to ST, or at least the first two seasons cuz those are my favs (and s3 is when most start to dislike Mike so I get scared and stop watching before that point 🫣) and I just wanted to rant about something I've noticed.

Almost every single time, for season 1, it's the same story: this person claims Dustin is their favorite almost immediately, and then raves about MBB's acting as the season goes on. Which, yeah, I love Dusty too, and MBB is so amazing omg it's crazy... but they don't even mention the others and I have never understand why.

Then again in s2: it's always Dusty or Steve character-wise and MBB or Noah acting-wise that they won't stop going on about.

Maybe I'm just extremely biased, but I've always thought MBB, Noah, and Finn (El, Will, and Mike) were the best of the child actors, esp in seasons 1 & 2, so it's just really annoying to me how these reactors will start to cry during El's or Will's scenes and just go on and on about how good Millie/Noah is, then cry at a Mike scene and not say anything about Finn.

Maybe it's a difference in the scenes themselves? Like when El or Will have emotional scenes in s1&2 it's usually because of a very obvious trauma, while when Mike has emotional scenes it's more about him comforting them during their trauma so people just overlook the fact that he's gathering trauma from all these events as well?

Then again, there's also the case of them never talking about Mike w/o talking about Mileven. Like he's his own person, his own character, the smartest one who makes all the plans and yet I've only ever watched one or two reactors who mention him outside of El (or in s2 them complaining about how he treats Max).

None of this is to say these specific characters (Dustin, Steve, El, Will) or actors (Gaten, Joe, MBB, Noah) don't deserve all the love in the world (well, Noah's questionable to some ig), cuz they do. This show's whole cast is so effing talented it's insane!!! This is just a pattern I've noticed where people don't really talk about Mike or Finn and I wonder why that is.

Ya'll idek if any of this makes sense, it's just something I had to get off my chest. 😭 Also, if anyone knows of a ST reactor who likes Mike, and makes it clear that they like Mike, pls let me know! I've been scarred too many times.

[booksandpaperss]

Aight another long post but it’s important that everyone on this tag gets this:

People who say byler isn’t a ground breaking queer ship if its gonna be canon just… don’t get it.

“There’s other shows with queer rep not just ST!” yes thank you I am well aware that Mike and Will aren’t the only two gay people in existence. Sure there’s other queer media, but like, most of the good ones are shows that were explicitly confirmed to be abt the queer experience, and I love those, but it’s just different when a show with a plot unrelated to being gay *has* multiple main characters as queer. Like that’s so much better bc it reminds ppl that queer ppl are actually real people and we exist outside of TV shows abt being queer, ya feel me?

-“Just bc stranger things is a bigger show doesn’t make a queer ship on it more groundbreaking”- umm yes it fucking does?? I really don’t think some of you understand: thousands of ppl who are either homophobic or just ignorant and aren’t used to seeing gay ppl on screen are going to SEE with their own eyes two teen boys in the 80s being in love on one of their favorite shows. Tons of queer kids who don’t have access to queer media or simply don’t KNOW that they’re queer are going to get to see two teen boys being in love. Putting that on a show like stranger things puts that representation across a much larger and diverse audience, *that* is what’s groundbreaking.

-“Stop acting like byler is any more of a big deal than Robin and Vickie! There’s already a queer ship onscreen another one isn’t any more groundbreaking.”- Yes. Yes it is. And do you know why? Because Mike and Will are both *crucial main characters*. There’s another longpostTM on my blog where I talk abt this in more detail, but the fact that Will’s romance is with mike, a relationship with another mc that’s been built up since season 1 and is critical to the plot, instead of some side character dude inserted in a later season just for Will to have a love interest, makes a difference! It’s not a side pairing that’s there just for the sake of being lgbtq, it’s a genuine well developed romance between two childhood best friends. How often do queer people get romances like that onscreen? Much less in a major hit TV show??

And before anyone thinks I’m just “not taking wlw ships seriously”: I am literally a lesbian and I nearly cried when I saw Robin and Vickie getting to be gay onscreen. I could go on and on abt how annoying it is that wlw ships are ignored in favor of mlm ships (cough cough steddie) but that’s not why *byler* is a bigger deal, why do you think byler is getting more backlash by cishets than literally any other queer ship that I’ve seen in media?

If you still think I’m being “over dramatic” after reading this, I literally don’t care. There’s bigger lgbtq issues to worry about than online discourse, and I think I’ve made myself quite clear already. I rest my case.

[katsukikitten]

CLIP THAT - Tomura's Route

Chapter One - First Blood

Your life was both comical and tragic, especially how you ended up in the situations you did. Your most recent feat was a one night stand that turned into you being a live in maid for Touya. Although the internet knew him as the famous faceless streamer whose voice could make anyone purr and you were sure his fingers could too.

But you were smarter than what the universe thought, knowing damn well that Touya was so wholly unavailable that even multiple nights of mind numbing sex couldn't get you to date him and now with his focus on music too the two of you had hardly seen each other at all. Making your lust for him dwindle exceedingly fast and besides Touya made it very clear that sex wasn't part of the living arrangement.

Your routine was simple, make sure Touya didn't sleep in too late or stay up too late for that matter. Make sure he was fed despite his small appetite and even smaller pallet, that the house was clean and that his laundry was folded. He didn't mind that you set it on his queen sized bed, he slept beside it, picking from his variety of black and blues daily and tossing his dirties in the hamper or better known as "close enough."

But Touya promised he'd clean his own bathroom and it was obvious he kept it pretty neat despite his usually messy dark hair and the deep bags under his eyes. His vocals deeper in the morning always taking you by surprise when he says "Morning Doll."

Other than that you were free to do as you please, never expected to pay rent and that you didn't have to worry about a thing. He paid you too so you wouldn't feel trapped where you were.

Touya was a good guy for the most part, he was just so emotionally unavailable you had a better chance of being romantically involved with a fucking rock.

Besides, cleaning soothed you, gave you a great sense of purpose, so much so you even played little house cleaning games in your free time as if you hadn't gotten enough. You got to listen to music as you worked, wearing little but an oversized hoodie you stole from Touya and your underwear as you dusted danced with your headphones in while Touya did some sort of video or stream in his room. Blissfully unaware of your surroundings in the quiet apartment.

Meanwhile Tomura stands in the entrance of the home, hand gripping the knob as he snarls. Touya hadn't mentioned he had a girlfriend but the more he watched you dance around the well decorated space the more it made sense. From the throw pillows on the couch to the fuzzy blanket thrown neatly over the back of the sofa and the candle that was burning this season's scent, it was quite obvious you lived here. The man hadn't even fished his key out of the lock yet and he was already beyond annoyed, live in girlfriends or significant others almost always spelled drama. If they could, his jagged ruby eyes could cut into your skin yet still they soften the more they watch. Especially as they move down your frame and land on your pretty legs hat peak out from under the hoodie that lands mid thigh. Too long for Tomura's liking and immediately he's sighing. Cannot believe he's thinking about those pretty legs wrapped around his tapered waist, grip on the handle as he thinks to slam the door shut. To call Touya and tell him to fuck himself, the deal was off.

Instead you turn around, met with that harsh gaze and scream. A loud sound before you scream again, pulling uselessly at the front of the oversized hoodie to try to hide yourself as Touya's name echoes around the house.

Touya ripped open his door quickly, eyes flashing in anger not at you but at the door as he looks for what he could only assume was an intruder before he relaxes, pulling you close to his shirtless chest.

"Oh Doll, this is our new roommate, Tomura."

"A heads up would have been nice!" You hiss, shoving him and he laughs again.

"I could have sworn I told ya."

"You didn't mention a girlfriend." Tomura's gaze is bored as he looks over the two of you. You seemed to fit well together so it should be of no concern to him.

His twisting gut begs to differ. He tongues one of his snake bites out of habit as you look him over. Black hair up in a little bun, a few shorter hairs hanging loose partially covering his dark eyes and it shows his undercut that he keeps closely shaved, you wonder why and you'll soon come to find out it helps to keep him cool while he does his grueling shift work, the bags under his eyes are hint enough but he never complains.

Tomura hasn't known anything other than survival, scared lip and brow from when his father hit him too hard growing up set in a never ending grimace. All because poor Tomura couldn't stop his anxious habit of scratching at his sensitive skin under his eyes and throat. His mother packed his and Hana's bags that night, fleeing with them in the witch's hour to some shoddy apartment where the rent was too damn high. Changing their names to avoid detection and so Tomura's childhood died with Tenko. From a young age Tomura learned to cook and care for Hana. Made meals for his mother and made sure to cover her in a blanket when she passed out on the couch between her two jobs. The second he turned 15 and was tall enough to pass off as an 18 year old he started work. The kind that doesn't look too closely at his fake ID or his once baby face, taking up the position as man of the house until his mother was stable enough he could move out.

Problem was rent was expensive close to his job and he was finally tired of working doubles just to pay to sleep for a few hours in a shitty one bedroom apartment. He'd gone to high school with Touya so the arrangement had seemed ideal but he should have remembered that the guy always told a lie by omission.

"Oh I'm not his-"

"It doesn't matter does it sweet cheeks?" Touya chuckles as he makes his way back to the bed room, "You'll make Tomura-kun's favorite won't you?"

You snarl your lip, how the fuck were you supposed to know what the man's favorite dish was.

"M not hungry." He sounds so…disgusted? You barely caught his name and yet here he was, probably watching you reach up to dust a top shelf and catching the scalloped lace of your underwear. Suddenly your cheeks heat and you rush to your own room, leaving Tomura up for assumption that his room was on the left.

He readjusts his duffle with his very little belongings on his shoulder. Old PC, key board, mouse, a few work outfits and fewer comfy clothes with toiletries that made his hair like midnight silk. He's thankful to find a bed fitted with clean sheets, an old gaming chair and desk while a lone lamp looms in the corner. The overhead light busted but Tomura didn't care.

The only thing that bothered him was how often his mind went back to you and the way you looked so cute.

It should be his hoodie you're wearing

The thought was disturbingly aggressive, at least when it came from a man who hardly had the drive to eat, let alone lust. The familiar buzzing happens under his skin, rusted nails just below the surface skittering across his nerve endings in slow, deep grooves. Loud enough he cannot help it, cannot help his own blunt nails reaching out and tracing over the sensation. He can still feel it, feel the uncomfortable steel wool rake itself across his subdermis, begging to break free from the confines of the smooth skin of his throat. Something warm and sticky settles under the painted blunt nails of his fingers.

For the first time in a long time Shigiraki Tomura draws blood.

[rrxnjun]

just saying ;; lyy

pairing: liu yangyang x fem!reader genre: college au | comedy, fluff, angst wc: 11.6k (11.602) playlist: just saying - 5 seconds of summer ; 21 questions - waterparks ; maniac - conan gray ; perfume - lovejoy ; i want u bad - r5 ; gloom boys - waterparks warnings: swearing, a mention of cheating

you got a new boyfriend. in yangyang’s eyes, he’s a total loser, and all your friends tell you that he’s got no future. they all like him, though... and so in a desperate plan, jealousy takes over and liu yangyang executes his masterplan: he has to make you two break up. all because he could treat you better than him. just saying though...

i. you got a boyfriend and he's a total loser

Slurping on his banana flavored boba, while making a noise that has successfully annoyed everyone at the table– Renjun the most, it seems, by the way he glares and kicks the other boy under the table with much force– Yangyang looks around the sprously-crowded study room and clears his throat, as if his presence wasn’t well-known already. 

“So,” he starts, making sure at least someone’s eyes are on him before he proceeds and asks the crucial question– the question that’s still keeping him at this place, the question that’s been burning at the tip of his tongue for the past 20-or-so minutes. “Is Y/N not coming?” 

Your best friend looks up from her textbook, the same one she’s been aimlessly staring into for the past 20 minutes, rolling her eyes at him and heaving out a heavy sigh. Yangyang doesn’t know if the sigh is addressed to the stupidity of his question or not, but he’s willing to find out as he only jabs more and raises up his eyebrows in question, making Ryujin answer his question faster. 

The answer is a simple ‘No’, followed by a tight-lipped smile sent his way as the girl looks back to her textbook again and furrows her brows with much despair. Yangyang doesn’t blame her, because from the look of it, it looks like Ryujin is trying to cramp some Physics into that bleached head of hers, and even though Yangyang is a linguistics major, he can only imagine how annoying and difficult all those numbers mixed with letters can be to memorize. 

The reply he was given is not enough for him, though. Don’t get me wrong, it would be more than enough for anyone else– for anyone normal, it seems– but Yangyang doesn’t even want to attend the study group he’s sitting with right now. The truth is, he’s only going because you’re there. And if you’re not there, then the whole purpose of sitting in the small room at the very end of the college campus is a waste of time for him– a waste of time he’s not willing to spend when he has one more season of Tokyo Ghoul to rewatch now that he has Netflix. Yes, it’s the account he stole from Dejun. But still. A free Netflix account is a free Netflix account…

Liu Yangyang knows you as the resident smart girl. That’s not all, though– it’s simply the way he got to know you, and it’s hard to peel that sticker off now. You were the only person that replied to him in the class group chat when he asked if someone could tutor him on the last topic of his Math exam last year– he quickly dropped the class the next semester, but he really needed the extra credit back then. Since then, you two have been meeting every Wednesday in the same small room at the end of the plain-white corridor in the Biology building– the only one that’s free at this time. Yangyang quickly fell into liking you. It wasn’t hard at all, if you ask him; you’re lively and confident, you always have something to say, and most of all, you always laugh at his jokes. Yangyang just can’t not like someone that laughs at his jokes. It strokes his ego just right, since the amount of disses he gets for his jokes from his roommate Dejun is just the right amount to keep him humble. 

Yangyang likes to think he lured you in with the weekly dose of strawberry chocolate he always brought you as a payment for your tutoring services; because as soon as he dropped the class and told you he didn’t need the tutoring anymore, you brought up the idea of him attending your small study group– which, essentially, is just your group of friends hanging out every Wednesday with textbooks in their hands, pretending to study for the exams together. 

Yangyang doesn’t know your friends and he’s sure as hell that he won’t be able to learn anything if you’re sitting in the seat next to him, but it’s you who we’re talking about. 

Of course he said yes.

And so when on one Wednesday, when he’s sitting with all your friends, that are somehow now his distant friends (he wouldn’t really call them his friends, still. He hasn’t embarrassed himself in front of them that many times just yet), and you’re not there to be his eye candy, he doesn’t see the purpose of it all anymore. He’s a curious guy by nature, though; and he’s always curious about you.

“Why?”

Now it’s Renjun’s time to sigh and roll his eyes. Yangyang is starting to think that it’s at him, but when Lia snickers from the other side of the table and mumbles something under her nose, he’s enlightened with an information that hits him right in the gut and makes him want to throw up and scream.

“She’s with her new boyfriend,” Ryujin replies, making all of them murmur in agreement– or is it disagreement? Yangyang isn’t quite sure anymore.

“...boyfriend?” Yangyang repeats, as if he wasn’t sure if he heard your friends right.

“Yeah,” Renjun nods, “he’s a total loser, though. I can’t believe she passed on her stupid study group on Wednesday just because he insisted on a date today.”

“Just for the record, I wouldn’t even be coming if I didn’t have a test tomorrow, that’s now disgusted with her actions I am,” Lia mutters, making Yangyang widen his eyes in surprise. 

“Who even is he?” Yangyang asks. 

“I dunno,” Ryujin shrugs, closing her textbook shut– a sign that she’s fully immersed in talking about your boyfriend behind his back now, “he dropped out, apparently? He’s got no future. I think she met him like three weeks ago and they’re already dating, can you believe that? I don’t like him at all. The last time I saw him, he didn’t even say hi back to me. Like I wasn’t even there!” 

Yangyang gasps, shaking his head in disbelief. Why would you date anyone like that? Where did that guy even come from? As far as he knew, he was one of your closest friends– why wasn’t he notified about a new guy in your circle? 

“That’s ridiculous, dude,” he mumbles, furrowing his brows.

“Yeah, I don’t get it,” Lia shrugs, “and to think that we all literally had a bet that she’s gonna date you in a few…” 

“Huh?” Yangyang opens his eyes wide, gulping down his built-up saliva. Did he hear her right? Dating? You two?

“Yeah,” Ryujin shrugs, “you just randomly appeared! We totally thought she had a crush on you, and don’t get me wrong, we were all for it, but it seems like we… were wrong.”

Yangyang hums, nodding. He didn’t know that everyone thought this about you two… Well, he can’t say he doesn’t like it, no– he very much adores the fact that your friends thought you had a crush on him, but it stings even more now when he realizes that your friends liked him enough to accept him into their circle, while your new boyfriend hasn’t even tried. 

He’ll ignore the bet part for now. 

“Yeah, seems like it,” Yangyang agrees, “what’s that guy’s name anyway?”

“Hyunho, or something?” Renjun replies, a look of disgust written on his face, “we stalked his Insta for a bit. He’s got a profile full of cringey gym pics and pics from when he went fishing.”

“Fishing,” Yangyang repeats.

“Yeah man, we told you it’s bad.”

Shaking his head in disbelief and putting his head into his hands, Yangyang lets out one of many sighs shared around the table, biting his bottom lip. He’ll make sure to stalk that guy when he comes home– just to see if there’s anything your friends didn’t mention that is a walking red flag. Who knows, maybe… maybe he still has time to talk you out of it. 

Maybe.

ii. he barely takes you out and if he does he's late

Trying to catch his breath as the crowd finally leaves the café he works at– the time period between 2 and 2:35pm is always the busiest– he hangs his head low and curses under his breath. Only god knows just how much Yangyang despises his job as a barista in the campus café; and that’s only because he won’t admit it to anyone that dares to laugh at him and make jokes about it. Yes, he comes to work every day with disgust coating his senses, but at least he gets paid. And he really needs that money.

A cheerful voice breaks him out of his slumber, a voice he would, on regular circumstances, want to strangle to death, making him look up again and switch the glare for a fake smile. 

A fake smile that quickly shifts into an honest one, when he realizes who’s standing in front of him in their full glory.

“Can I get the usual?” you grin, making him shake his head in disbelief.

“Y/N, you don’t have an usual, this is like the second time you’ve been here,” he notes, battling the grin that’s wanting to settle onto his lips. It’s easy to smile for him when you’re around, but he caught his jaw being in pain the last time you two hung out, and he’s not willing to live through that experience again, since it sure was humbling.

“Well, I’m making my last order my usual, then. That’s how it works, doesn’t it?” you smile, making him mockingly roll his eyes at you.

“Sure, whatever you say.”

Yangyang could lie and tell you that he doesn’t remember what you ordered the first time you were here– it was right after his exams and you were too impatient to wait for him to tell you if he passed them or not, since, and this is an indirect quotation, you have to be there for him just in case he failed and needs mental support. He passed his exams and your visit only added to his euphoria, as he chatted away with you until he had to close the café and walked you home. So, Yangyang could lie and tell you that he doesn’t vividly remember that day up to the smallest detail, but he’s not that much of a good liar, after all, so he won’t even try.

He remembers your order down to the chocolate shavings on top of the whipped cream that’s decorating your favorite iced caramel macchiato, and so he wastes no time in turning around and preparing your drink as you sit at the tall bar stool and wait for him to get it ready for you.

“You always work. I had to run over here just so I could hang out with you,” you mumble, a teasing pout sitting at your lips that Yangyang catches when he briefly turns around to peek at your face. 

“Yeah, well, my rent is not gonna get paid by itself, so,” he shrugs, swirling the whipped cream on top of your drink, getting ready to sprinkle the chocolate shavings delicately to the peak of the white, cloudy mess. He briefly imagines putting a cherry on top, just because you distantly remind him of cherries, in a way, before he mentally cringes at his thoughts and shoos them out of his lovesick brain.

“I get that,” you note, “but do you even have time for yourself?” 

“Of course I do,” Yangyang snickers, finished with your drink now, bringing it to you. He does have time for himself, of course– and so what if it’s in the deadly hours of night and on Wednesdays. If he’s lucky, he’s free on every other Friday too, depending on if Chaeryeong is free to cover his shift. And he’s free on weekends! That’s plenty of time.

“You’re always locked up here.”

Yangyang rolls his eyes at you. “It has its privileges.”

“Like what?”

“Like… if I wasn’t here as often, Johnny would kick my ass if he saw me chatting away with our customers,” he shrugs, seeing you snicker. That, and he also gets to study when the café isn’t as busy. They take turns with Hendery when he’s around, but he mostly just slacks off in the back, pretending to ‘stack up on coffee beans’. 

“Okay, then,” you absently nod, taking a sip of your drink. A blissful expression overtakes your features, hinting that Yangyang did his job right and your caramel macchiato is surely one of the best things you’ve ever tasted. He wonders if it’s addicting enough to make you visit him at work more often– he wouldn’t be opposed to it even on the busiest days of them all. 

“What brings you here?” he asks, leaning on the counter. His legs are starting to hurt from walking around so much– damn Mondays; they’re always the busiest. 

“What, I can’t visit my friend at work?” you gasp, acting offended by his question.

“You can, you can,” he brings up his hands into the air in a defensive act, “you’ve just never done it before.”

Taking another sip of your drink, you look almost guilty as you nod and sigh. “That’s true,” you nod, “but… I’m kind of… waiting for someone?”

Already preparing for the impact of your answer, Yangyang curls his toes in anticipation. “For who?”

“Hyunho,” you smile, “my boyfriend. We’re going on a date, and I figured that we could stop by to get some coffee first, and since I know this café is famous for its good coffee,” you note as you point towards Yangyang, as if to praise the boy for doing his job right, “I invited him here.”

“Oh,” Yangyang nods, subconsciously pulling away from you, “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

A knowing look is sent his way, making shivers run down his spine as you snicker. “You were with Ryujin and Renjun on Wednesday. Don’t try to tell me you didn’t know.”

“Okay, so maybe I did know, but all I’m saying is that I didn’t know before. It’s… kind of sudden, you know,” he mumbles, trying to sound the least suspicious he can. It’s not every day that you talk to your crush about their new boyfriend; Yangyang never thought he’d live to the day when this happens (not that you’re not pretty or interesting enough to get a boyfriend. He just somehow always assumed that you’re gonna be single and free for him to simp over forever), but here we are.

“Yeah, well,” you mumble sheepishly, “it just kind of… happened.”

Yangyang hums in response, nodding. What else is there for him to say? He feels like all the vocabulary in his head– in all 5 languages he knows– escaped his brain and is standing somewhere in the corner of this café, laughing at him and pointing their fingers at just how embarrassing the whole situation is. 

“How did you two even meet?” he asks, playing with the stack of plastic cups to his left, as if the action was meant to mask his over-interest in the topic that is your new boyfriend.

“At a party,” you say.

His eyes scan you up and down. By the way your eyes avert to the side when your eyes meet, you look a little ashamed of your answer. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about going to parties, and Yangyang would never judge you for getting loose and letting your inner party animal shine, but you and parties just… don’t go together. And you know that, by the way you quickly jump into self-defense.

“You know Mark, right?” you start blabbering, not even sparing a second to let Yangyang absently nod in agreement, “well, it was his party. And Hendery was invited, and you know my friend Yuna is into him, right? And since she didn’t want to go alone– and I don’t blame her, parties are fucking scary for adolescent girls– I, as her good friend, offered that I’ll go with her! It was only a one-time occurrence. But as I was there, this guy talked to me in the kitchen as I was waiting for Yuna to come back from the toilet, which, just by the way, she didn’t– she met Hendery on the way back and they made out in one of the rooms on the second floor– and I was so bored and it was still too early for me to come home and I was supposed to drive Yuna home, so I flirted with him,, and… and… here we are,” you complete your little storytime with an overly-exaggerated hand movement. 

Quickly taking your drink into your own hands, as if to occupy yourself as you wait for your friend’s answer, you peek at him from under your eyelashes and blink a few times in anticipation. 

“Hendery made out with Yuna?” Yangyang repeats, mouth slightly agape in shock.

“That’s all you got from this conversation?” 

“I- I mean that’s… that’s really great for you, yeah, but Hendery and Yuna? In what universe do these two belong together?” 

Hendery and Yuna just… aren’t the best combination. It’s the one Yangyang wouldn’t even think of creating. It’s like chocolate and pickles. Where Yuna is the sweet chocolate and Hendery is the weird, crunchy pickle. And even though Yangyang has tried this combination before, he for sure didn’t like it– just another sign that these two do not belong together under any circumstances.

“This universe, apparently,” you shrug, sighing, “anyways, it all happened really quickly. I didn’t even have time to tell you that I was seeing someone, I’m sorry.”

Yangyang only hums. Well, what else is he going to do? Be mad at you? For… what, exactly? For not telling him about your new find? For not telling him about going to a party? That would be stupid. The only person he has every right to be mad at is himself, because even after hearing your story and seeing the stars in your eyes light up at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, Yangyang just can’t seem to feel bitter in his chest and just a little bit envious of the position that Hyunho is in after 2 weeks, while Yangyang has been pining over you for at least the last 6 months. It’s not fair. 

“It’s okay,” he mumbles, “I’m happy for you.”

The smile that overtakes your features is one that would make even the shittiest of days feel like a fairytale. The slight tug of your lips upwards and the little scrunch you do with your nose is a sight Yangyang’s seen multiple times since getting to know you, but even after all this time, he feels like even a baseball bat could not hit him harder than this. 

No, he can’t be bitter that you got a new boyfriend that’s not him. At least not in front of you. 

“Thanks,” you grin, “you’re actually the first one to say that, so… it means a lot to me.”

He freezes. It hasn’t occurred to him before just how much the words of others could affect your relationship. In the bottom of his heart, he thought that just being in love with the person is enough to be happy– but it seems like the opinion of your friends and family matters too. 

So Yangyang decides to support you, even if he might be the only one in your circle to do so. 

“Where is he? He’s like 15 minutes late,” you mumble. Yangyang furrows his eyebrows at you, shrugging.

“There’s a lot of traffic around this time.”

You purse your lips, looking at the time on your phone screen– which, just by the way, is still decorated by a picture of your friend group all out on the fare, which makes Yangyang happy to see– and finish your drink. Yangyang assumed you were going to take it with you to your date, since you rarely drink more than one coffee a day. 

“Do you want another one?” he asks, still.

“No, I’m just gonna wait for Hyunho to arrive,” you tightly smile. 

Minutes slowly pass as Yangyang cleans the counter and throws out the plastic cup that was used to hold your drink, making coffee for the lonely couple that came a few minutes after you ordering two iced americanos. He doesn’t want to pay much attention to it, he really doesn’t, but the clock sitting right above his head as he scoops the ice into the two cups reminds him of time passing.

Three minutes, five… seven… fifteen. 

Another fifteen minutes pass before the door opens with a subtle hum of a ring, revealing a man in a leather jacket passing through the entrance without a single word, nearing the tall barstool you’re sitting at. Yangyang can only assume it’s your boyfriend by the way he wraps a protective arm around your waist and greets you as silently as he can, as if he didn’t want to disturb the other customers.

“Where were you all this time?” you ask, and Yangyang can only faintly hear the subtle disappointment in your voice before you’re cut off by your boyfriend’s low voice. 

“Traffic.”

“Okay,” Yangyang sees you sadly smile from the corner of his eye, a cheerful grin overtaking your features when your eyes meet, “do you want to order anything? This is my friend-”

“No, I’m fine. Let’s go somewhere else,” he says, not even meeting eyes with who you meant to introduce to him, tugging you off the barstool instead. 

Yangyang doesn’t have much time to say goodbye to you before you disappear behind the entrance, only earning himself a wave as you hop by your boyfriend’s side and attentively listen to what he has to say. 

Yangyang thinks that it might be harder to pretend that he’s happy for you now. And it’s only getting started.

iii. all your friends tell you that he's got no future, but they like me

“Can you believe that? He literally dragged her out of the café! I legit wanted to run after him and throw an americano down his back,” he rambles, aggressively wiping the counter with a smelly cloth that should have been washed like a week ago, “and when I asked her the other day after class how the date went, she went oddly quiet. If that’s not suspicious, then I don’t know what is.”

Throwing the damp cloth down to the floor– to the right corner, far enough to not make anyone trip over it behind the counter– Yangyang looks up to find Dejun and Renjun, the two Juns of his nightmares, as he likes to call them, staring at him with blank eyes and disbelief written all over their faces. 

Sure, no one liked your new boyfriend. No one’s gotten as violent with their thoughts about him just yet, and Yangyang fears that he might just have gone too far.

“Okay, well, I can see why you’re so furious about it, but… it’s her relationship,” Dejun shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee, “why do you care so much?”

“Because she’s my friend!” Yangyang gasps, mouth hanging slightly agape from shock. 

“Yeah, and? We’re friends, but I wouldn’t give two fucks if your new girl was toxic or some shit. That’s all your decision, mate,” Dejun shrugs and fully enjoys the taste of the hot beverage on his tongue. Dejun is the only person Yangyang knows that likes their coffee hot, even if it feels like a sauna outside. He never really grasped why he’s like that, he figures Dejun might just be a psychopath of some sort; but seeing him now with his blank white cup steaming into his face, Yangyang feels the utter masculine urge of splashing the contents right into his face. Or his own. Either one works.

“Well, thanks for looking out for me, I guess,” Yangyang furrows his brows and rolls his eyes in irony, “Renjun, can I get any support in this topic? You care about Y/N just as much as I do.”

“Well, I don’t know about that-” Renjun mutters under his breath, making the younger boy (even though it’s only a few months; Renjun likes to mention their ‘age difference’ every time he wants to take the upper hand, though, so it’s now kind of fixated in Yangyang’s brain as well) scrunch up his face in question.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” he peeps, “but yeah, that dude’s a lost case. I overheard  Y/N telling Ryujin that he invited her to sleep over at his house on Friday,” Renjun mutters, making Yangyang fume even harder with built-up frustration. 

“Who does that after a month of dating!” 

The brutal gaze he is sent by Renjun is one that could make anyone’s back shiver with terror. The little one can get scary sometimes, it seems. “Oh, so you’re conservative,” he sings, voice almost imitating Kris Jenner in a conversation with her dearest daughter Khloé about the wearingness of thongs in public.

“Excuse you, I’m not,” Yangyang defends himself, putting his hands to his hips in a stance quite similar to his mother’s back when she used to nag him for not washing his dishes after eating when he was younger.

Dejun’s eyes drift slowly from one person to the other, enjoying his friends’ heated debate over a man he’s never once seen in his whole entire life, feeling very much like in an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. 

“Well, I think it’s reasonable. They’re dating,” Dejun mumbles, testing the waters with his remark.

Like a sleeping volcano, Yangyang suddenly erupts, arms waving in the air and all, looking almost comical with his animated screeches. “That means they’re gonna fuck! And what if the condom breaks? Oh no. Worse. What if they don’t wear it at all and he doesn’t pull out fast enough and then she has to carry his babies?!” 

The shriek of horror is followed by a fit of laughter coming from the other side of the communication canal; the only one not finding the whole situation funny is Yangyang, though, heavily thinking of how even your pretty genes won’t outlaw the weird asymmetry in your boyfriend’s face. He quickly catches himself and rolls his eyes on his own snarky comment, forcing it out of his own head– he has no right to judge a man that’s, admittedly, a few heads taller than him and broader in the shoulders. 

“You’re overthinking it.”

“Well, you have to be prepared for every possible outcome!” Yangyang mumbles, noticing new customers arriving through the glass door of the café. 

One last glare is sent to his friends’ direction as he spills out his last comment, the discomfort he feels with the whole situation very much apparent on his face. “You’ll stop laughing when the day comes and I’ll be the only one that can say ‘told you so’, you fuckers.”

The smile he offers the customers standing behind the counter is so different to the expression he had before, one would think there was a shift in reality. 

Thank god Yangyang is a good actor.

iv. got a big house, he says he lives alone

Liu Yangyang is not a stalker. He’s not stalking your boyfriend. That’s not at all what’s happening when he sees him at the grocery store one day and eyes him the whole journey to his car, silently following him with the bag of groceries buckled in to his passenger seat, driving down the block and praying to god that your boyfriend doesn’t see him in the rear window, or worse– notice that it’s him that’s, coincidentally, following his every turn. 

That’s not stalking… right?

He doesn’t even know what he’s trying to prove here– surely, he can’t know much about your boyfriend just by simply staring at him from his car window. He can’t tell what he’s listening to on the radio– although, he can tell it’s not Nicki Minaj, for he’s not vibing as hard as Yangyang is when he almost forgets to take a turn left when your boyfriend’s car disappears out of his view for a split second. He can’t tell if your boyfriend is worth trusting behind the wheel either; Yangyang isn’t even worth trusting behind the wheel anyway. He’s got his driver’s license recently and already forgot what some of the road signs mean. He’s no judge in that.

Yangyang doesn’t know what he’s trying to prove– to anyone, but mostly to himself– when he follows your boyfriend home one day, but you could say there’s something in the universe that desperately wants him to win, in some way. A silent hint of intuition running through his bones, a spark of hope that lights him up as he feels tingling in the tips of his fingers, anticipation finally reaching the top as he sees your boyfriend park in the driveway, slowing down and waiting at the end of the street.

He goes unnoticed. Your new boyfriend must be blind, Yangyang wonders, silently chuckling to himself as he silently spectates and watches the scene in front of him unravel.

Hyunho walks out of the car– seemingly, an innocent act. The man himself walks over to the trunk, taking out the bag of groceries he’s bought at the store not too long ago, smashing the car door shut with such force that it makes Yangyang wince in terror. He surely hopes he’s not this harsh when he operates with your body, though, he doesn’t like to think about his touch on you, so he bats that thought away with a blink of his eyelashes and focuses on his investigation.

Angels, spirit guides, god… someone must be on his side today. He’s not crazy. He doesn’t usually follow people home. He’s not saying that it’s not fun, of course– it’s just something he’s never picked up before, preferring to focus his time on other, much more interesting hobbies. There must be a reason why he’s here– and the reason is unleashing right in front of his eyes.

The eureka moment suddenly hits him with much force, his lips parting, as if to scream a winning “Ha!” at the top of his lungs. 

He is a good listener. Well, most times, that is– when it’s you he’s listening to, though, he’s quite sure his memory is writing down each and every single word that comes out of your mouth, paying attention to detail and punctuation. He’s your number one fan, after all. 

And with that in mind, he remembers you telling him trivial facts about your boyfriend. 

That he’s strong (Yangyang’s definitely stronger), that he doesn’t like his coffee hot (one of the only normal things about him, it seems), that he’s super sweet, honest and loyal. You’ve also told him that he lives alone– in a small house with a brown roof, identical to the one he’s standing in front of right now, with the bag of groceries in his hold. 

Here he goes– the thing he’s been sent here for, the fact that he was supposed to acquire in this quest. 

Out of the house, a middle-aged woman strides her way forward, hair an identical shade of brown to Hyunho, who is only pointing an annoyed look at her through his dark eyes, the shape similar to the woman’s. She takes the groceries inside as your boyfriend locks the car, both of them disappearing in the comfy-looking house.

The ending seems anti-climactic, sure. Yangyang’s learned something about your boyfriend right now, though– something he’s sure he can use against him, if he really wanted to. 

“Hyunho lives alone, in like, a super pretty house just a few blocks away. Can you believe that?” your voice rings in his head, making him dryly chuckle and shake his head in disbelief.

That’s not true– his mum was home– and your boyfriend is a cheeky, little liar.

v. you should leave him, 'cause it really makes me sick

In another one of many meetings with his only friends– Renjun and Dejun– Yangyang complains. It’s the thing he likes the most, and it’s also the thing he’s the best at, so no one can really blame him for taking the time off his day to add every single, most unnecessary comment to each thing that’s just slightly annoyed him for the last week. It’s his second nature. A human instinct, even. 

Most of the topics he brings up when he complains, though, include your boyfriend, in some way. It’s been a few months since you two started dating, and everyone’s gotten used to it by now, it seems, but Liu Yangyang is a one pretentious fucker– he can’t let things go as easily. 

Not when you’re still, pretty much the only topic of his interest.

He should really get some new hobbies.

“And so- And so I drove past his house, and his mum was home! He’s a total liar. Can’t believe how Y/N can stand him-”

“You stalked Hyunho?” Renjun cuts him off, pointing a concerned look towards his friend, eyebrows all furrowed and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. He surely knows how to make someone feel bad about their actions– Yangyang should learn how to make that look the next time Renjun’s over, to be honest.

“I didn’t stalk him, come on. I just happened to see where he was going, and I just so happened to follow him and see his mum walk out of the house where he supposedly lives alone!” Yangyang rages, throwing his hands up into the air.

“She could have been there for a visit, for all we know…” Dejun mutters, opening a can of coke and sitting with them at the kitchen table. He chooses to sit opposite Renjun, because with how furiously Yangyang operates with the chopsticks in between his fingers, there’s a high chance that the take-out might end up in Dejun’s hair. And he really doesn’t want that. He washed it yesterday.

“Nah, bro, I’m telling you. He’s a bastard.”

With a roll of his eyes, Renjun sighs. “Just because he lives with his mum? It’s okay to live with your mum.”

“Do you live with your mum?” Yangyang argues, raising up his eyebrows.

“I don’t, but I’m just saying that if I did, it wouldn’t be such a problem-”

“It’s not just that, though! There’s so much that goes beyond the surface. One, he lies about who he lives with. Two, he always makes Y/N wait. Trust me, she’s been to the café at least 3 times now, waiting for him, and every single time, he arrived at least 30 minutes late. Three, he always makes her pay at the restaurant-”

“How would you know?”

“Ryujin told me. Y/N told her after she promised not to tell anyone, but I got it out of her,” Yangyang quickly answers, seeing Dejun widen his eyes in surprise and disbelief.

“So much for girl code…”

“Four! He hasn’t hung out with us once in these months they’ve been together. Five. I don’t like his eyebrows. He looks like a prick-”

“That’s not a valid reason,” Renjun sighs, making Yangyang roll his eyes.

“Okay, sure,” he admits, chewing on the last bite of the take-out he brought home after ending his shift at the café, swallowing before he starts talking again, desperate to prove his point, “all I’m saying is that Y/N doesn’t seem happy with him. Think about it! When was the last time she’s hung out with us? When was the last time she laughed so hard she cried? Huh? The last time I checked, it’s been a few months, and before that, it was an everyday occurance,” Yangyang shrugs, proving that  he’s right– he always is.

“And neither of you like him anyway, so I don’t get why I’m the only one getting crucified for voicing my opinion!” 

“Well, just speaking about it with us won’t do anything. What do you even want from this? You want them to break up?” Renjun barks, pointing his chopsticks towards Yangyang, an annoyed expression sitting at the top of his face. 

“I mean…” Yangyang mumbles, averting his gaze from them.

He won’t admit to it. No, never in a million years– it’s enough that his friends still haven’t noticed the clear obsession in his eyes whenever he speaks about you. He truly cares about you, he does! And he means everything he’s saying about your new boyfriend. It’s not just jealousy shining through; even though he feels his blood boiling every time he sees you two together and his heart breaks a little every time you smile at him with just the right amount of lovesickness.

He can’t admit that he’d be much happier if you were single again– because that would mean that he could at least have a little bit of faith in himself, the smallest hint of hope that maybe, maybe if he tried hard enough, maybe if you suddenly woke up one day and magically liked him back, you could be his. 

This way, though, he knows he’s hopeless.

And he feels like a played-out love song every time he sees you with Hyunho (where you laugh at his unfunny jokes and he doesn’t meet your eye contact), but Yangyang knows that he could treat you so much better than your current boyfriend ever has.

“You know, if you really want them to break up, maybe you should do something about it,” Dejun shrugs, meeting Yangyang’s eye.

Something clicks inside of his brain, gears finally finding their right place in his pea-sized brain; magically looking like a squirrel high on caffeine when he chuckles under his breath, Liu Yangyang has a masterplan he needs to execute. 

Only if he knew that his actions have consequences– much bigger than he’d ever imagined. 

That’s a problem for another evening, though.

vi. you don't need him, I'll help you get over it

Yangyang despises hipster cafés. Not only are they much different to the cafés he is used to– the one he works at, in particular– but the amount of plants surrounding him while indie music plays in the background surely can’t be enough to match the prices in the cheaply-made menu sitting at the top of the table. 

There’s no rush. No screaming of the orders. No weird smell coming from the back. This is not the campus café he is employed at, and even though he should be glad he is enjoying coffee somewhere else just because he simply can, there’s something inside of him yearning for the comfort of something he knows so dearly. 

You’re sitting in front of him, a sad face painted on your features. Of course you’re here– he wouldn’t be coming into a stupid hipster café if it wasn’t for you inviting him. The plants hanging above your head decorate your aura perfectly, though, and Yangyang simply can’t imagine spending his time with you in the half-empty, half-assed café at the very edge of your college campus anymore. This is where you belong, truly.

“What’s with the frown?” he asks almost a little too hesitantly, kicking you lightly in the shin under the table. You look up through your eyelashes, pointing your gaze towards him, a sad smile finding its way onto your face. Yangyang desperately wants to kick it away from its place– in his head, you’re only supposed to be smiling. There’s no place for a frown. 

“It’s… it’s nothing,” you chuckle, though the sound doesn’t seem as light-hearted as you meant it out to be. 

If there’s one thing about Yangyang, it’s that he’s annoying. Not in the bad way– he’s just that type of friend that constantly calls you when he wants to hang out, or endearingly keeps poking your sides when he wants your attention in a crowded place. He’s the one that keeps teasing you even though you’ve had enough. That can get a little overwhelming at times, sure, but in times like these, Yangyang chooses to put his annoyingness for a good cause. 

He keeps lightly kicking you under the table, a childish pout sitting at his lips. “Tell me.”

“I’m alright,” you roll your eyes, shaking your head in disbelief.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone. Come on! We’re practically best friends at this point, and we all need someone to listen to us at times. Spill it out,” he keeps nagging, adding a victorious poke to your hand sitting at the top of the table as well, as a bonus. 

Your eyes point towards one of the many plants in the café, the nervousness making you slowly crack the knuckles of your hands. “Fine,” you sigh, looking him dead in the eye, “but promise me you won’t tell anyone else, because god knows what they would tell me if they knew. I trust you with this, so don’t be a dick about it, okay?” 

A quick nod of his head and a fast nestle in his seat after, you’re taking a deep breath in and biting on the inside of your cheek as you open your mouth to speak. 

“So… There’s something worrying me… about Hyunho.”

Yangyang almost hears a siren ring inside of his ears, red flashing in front of his eyes as he nods, trying to gain his composure. Of course the problem is your boyfriend. If there wasn’t a problem with your boyfriend, Yangyang wouldn’t be here right now, sitting with you in a café. That’s the thing– you’re slowly starting to lose time for anyone else. Not that Yangyang’s salty about it… 

“What is it?”

“We were supposed to hang out yesterday,” you peep, averting your gaze from him, “and sometimes he comes late, that’s fine… I’ve gotten used to it by now, but… yesterday, he didn’t come at all. I tried texting him, ringing him, I tried everything, but he’s just ignoring me,” you ramble, a worried undertone coating your words as you chew on your bottom lip and look for comfort in Yangyang’s eyes, “and I know he’s fine because he sent out a stupid Snapchat streak this morning.”

Yangyang finds it hard to look for words that would comfort you right now. 

Sure, he hates that guy with everything he has in him, he hates his new haircut and he hates his voice when he hears him call you baby, but even with coming late, dropping out of college, lying about living alone and being ignorant to your friends, Yangyang never thought it would go this far.

All this time, he just thought he was blowing it out of proportion because of his teenage jealousy. 

But now, when you’re clearly distressed because of his actions, he feels like the stupid plan he had in his mind back when he hung out with Renjun and Dejun isn’t as crazy anymore. If it’s gonna help you in the long run, he’s gonna do it– and not think about the consequences.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles, chewing on his bottom lip, “I- I don’t really know what to say…”

“It’s fine,” you nod, “maybe I’m just too dramatic-”

“Oh don’t you dare say that,” Yangyang cuts you off. There’s no way he would let you think that your emotions aren’t valid. “Actually, there’s- there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Panic flashes in front of your eyes. He would even say it’s okay for you to panic– with what he has to say next, he can only prepare for the worst outcome. You’re already becoming him to talk with a hesitant nod of your head, and he can’t back out now, can he? 

“I… He’s cheating on you, Y/N.”

The world falls silent after his words. Your lips part in shock, your eyes get glossy. Yangyang can’t believe a word that came out of his mouth. Did he really get this desperate? Is he really such a dick?

Surely, he can’t be worse than the guy that left you hanging for a whole day… right?

“Are you- are you joking? Is this serious? Don’t prank me right now, Yangyang,” you mourn out, your bottom lip trembling. 

What else is there to say? With just an ever-so-honest nod of his head, Yangyang confirms the lie he made up in his sick, twisted mind– all because he can’t stand to look at you with someone else that isn’t him. 

What’s even worse is that even though you’re in pain, he secretly enjoys the way you curl into his chest when you cross the distance between the two of you and sit next to him in the booth, quietly sobbing into his shirt. 

He really fucked up, didn’t he?

vii. he says he loves you, but it's all an act

“You did what?” Dejun stares at him in disbelief, mouth apart in shock. 

The thing is, Yangyang can’t deal with his emotions alone. Also, when he does something bad, like, really really bad, there’s no way he can deal with the despair that comes with the unbelievably heavy weight of guilt alone. Liu Yangyang also loves to overshare and complain. He won’t miss his once-in-a-lifetime chance now. 

His first victim? His own roommate– Xiao Dejun. He could go to Renjun, but he figures that might be too dangerous. Dejun doesn’t know you too well, so he’s not that interested in the whole case, and Yangyang’s quite sure that the fierce short boy would ignite like a match if he told him what he did, and even though he’s tiny, he can do a lot of damage. Yangyang can’t afford to get a black eye from Renjun. God knows, he might get it from Hyunho instead.

“Yeah, well-”

“Are you out of your mind? Why the fuck did you think this was a good idea?” Dejun bursts out, even forgetting to pause the TV show he’d been watching when Yangyang came into his room. 

“I didn’t think it was a good idea, per se, I just thought… I-” he mumbles, shooting his arms into the air in defeat, “I was just trying to do the good thing!”

Dejun looks at him with stone cold eyes. The laughing track coming out of the laptop’s speakers does nothing to lighten up the situation; Yangyang feels chills run down his spine as the reality of everything slowly sinks and his hands turn ice cold with misery.

“No, Yangyang,” Dejun shakes his head.

Raising up his eyebrows, Yangyang blinks at his roommate. “...what, no?”

“You weren’t trying to do the good thing here, you were just doing it for yourself,” Dejun mutters, sighing. There’s disappointment coating his words and Yangyang can’t believe how scolded and defeated he feels under the weight of his roommate’s words. He doesn’t take them seriously most of the time, so this argument only proves that he should really reflect on his actions. 

“How could I be doing it for myself? It’s not my relationship we’re talking about,” Yangyang rambles, shaking his head in disapproval.

“Yeah, and that’s the thing. It’s not your relationship, so why are you acting like it is? It’s not your place to lie about someone, however shitty they might be as a person, just to get them to break up! Again, you didn’t do this for her, you did this for yourself!” Dejun says, finally closing the laptop shut so the background noises don’t disturb the seriousness of the conversation. 

Yangyang feels as if he is being scolded by his teacher for cheating on his exam. It feels even worse, to be exact– and he didn’t think there could be a bigger humiliation than that.

“What do I gain from this, then? If I’m doing it for myself, as you keep repeating,” Yangyang rolls his eyes in irony, chuckling at the whole situation. If it’s getting to him, he won’t let it show to Dejun. For all he knows, he didn’t care until now, so what’s changed?

Shaking his head, the older boy rolls his eyes. “You don’t have to see them together anymore, and that’s enough for you. At least your little, jealous heart will be happy now.”

“I’m not-”

“Yangyang,” Dejun cuts him off, like many times before, “do you really think nobody noticed by now?”

viii. 'cause I'm better than him, just saying

Sitting around in the park, his friends chatter away as he’s lost in thought and picks at the skin of his cuticles. Ryujin and Lia try to get his attention by talking about the new anime they’ve been watching, but there’s no use as his unfocused eyes only go through them and the smile he offers them is nowhere near an honest one. Renjun tries to drag him into a conversation by gossipping about Hendery and Yuna’s strange, but blossoming relationship, but he only chuckles at the news as his eyes drift away into the distance.

You’re not around– much like many times before, hidden away in the shade with Hyunho– but this time, Yangyang feels as if he’s the reason why you didn’t pay them a visit. It only takes a few days, hell– maybe even hours– to find out that he’s been lying, and the moment you get ahold of this information, it’s all going to get even harder for him. 

Pointing his gaze towards his beaten-up converse, he plucks the grass from its place under his body and twirls the stems between his fingers, head lost in all the possible scenarios that could occur when he sees you next.

You could slap him. He would even dare to say that he deserves it; he doubts he’d be mad at you if you tried to beat him up and curse at him in front of everyone. Maybe the shame would outdo the great mistake he’s made.

You could scream at him. Truth be told, most of the possible outcomes include you screaming or cursing at him. You’re not even a violent person, but he guesses there’s no other reaction that could be the outcome of this whole situation, and he doesn’t even blame you for that.

Because Dejun is right. He did it for himself. 

There was no way he could help you with this, in any way, shape or form. All he did was cause you pain. 

“Yangyang?” a voice above him calls his name, causing him to look up. His heart beats wildly in his chest, heat rising to his face in anxiety; you look at him with stern eyes and lips pursed into a thin line. “Can we talk?”

Nodding, he stands up and follows you a few meters away from your group of friends, ignoring their excited waves and questions of how you’ve been and what’s up. Yangyang feels like he’s nearing his death– and from how fast his heart is beating, it could very well mean he’s close to the end by a heart attack– you stand in the shade of another tree (the one you always hang out under with your boyfriend), crossing your hands at your chest.

“What’s up?” he asks, voice low and full of shame. Even if you had no idea, now is the time you’d find out– he would gladly tell you everything, if it meant you wouldn’t get mad at him for it. That’s not how the world works, though, and so he awaits your outburst, looking like a scared dog with its tail hidden in guilt.

“Why did you lie to me?” you ask. Your voice is steady. He would even go as far as saying that you practiced this conversation with yourself in front of the mirror– you’re not a coward though, he is, and the reality must be miles away from this statement. You’ve always been good at getting your point across– no circling around the topic, edging towards the point. You go straight for it, ready for the battle. That’s what Yangyang’s liked about you perhaps the most.

“I can explain-”

“Well, that’s why I’m asking, isn’t it?” you chuckle under your breath, the bossy attitude very much in its place. 

“I- I kind of panicked? In a way? All I tried was to protect you,” he desperately gets out, sweating under your gaze. 

“Panicked?” you repeat, disbelief shining in the tone of your voice. “You lied to me about my boyfriend cheating on me because you panicked? Yangyang, I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I’m not quite following,” you furrow your brows at him, your sentences worthy of a lawyer’s degree.

“Look,” Yangyang sighs, pinching the skin at the bridge of his nose in hopelessness, “I couldn’t stand looking at you two together. He’s not being a good boyfriend to you, Y/N, and it hurts me to see how you get treated, when you deserve so much more!” 

“That’s not for you to say!” you argue back, the scene already nearing the images he had in his brain. 

“Well, who else was supposed to say it! No one cares as much as I do!”

“Yangyang!”

“That guy keeps lying to you, he keeps arriving late! Hell, he makes you pay all the time. You didn’t even know him well before you started dating him. Did he remember your anniversary?” he asks, the empty look in your eyes being enough of an answer to him, “See? Thought so. You never hang out with us anymore, he always ignores us… He stood you up and ignored you for multiple days, Y/N, for god’s sake!”

He feels the eyes of everyone on his back right now, the tone of his voice louder than he intended it to be. There’s no time to feel embarrassed, though– not when he’s trying to save his relationship with you. 

“And so what, Yangyang? That’s not your shit to worry about,” you shake your head, “you hurt me. You really hurt me with your words, you know that?” 

“It was necessary!” he grunts, helplessly shaking his head at your stance.

“You hate to see me with him that bad? That’s not what a good friend does, Yang,” you chew on the inside of your cheek, waiting for the last arguments that could come out of his mouth.

His heart shakes in his throat, palms sweating as his brain turns into autopilot. Fuck it, he thinks; he can’t save this anymore, so he might as well go all out. Maybe then, you’ll understand where he’s coming from better. Maybe you won’t hate him as much.

“Fuck, Y/N, that’s because I don’t want to be your friend! I could treat you so much better than he ever did.”

He doesn’t know what he expected with his words. He doesn’t know what reaction he wanted to get after his unprompted confession. Truth is, he didn’t think this far– even his wildest imaginations and scenarios he made up in his head never got to the point of him breaking and telling you how he feels. 

Also, he never wanted it to sound as ‘second lead in a cliche, overplayed drama’ as it did. What is he, a Shawn Mendes song?

The reaction you give him kicks him in his gut, slaps him across the face, hits him with a full fist right into his nose. This is where a fragment of his imagination comes true. He could even be a psychic, who knows.

“Fuck you,” you spit, tongue poking the side of your cheek in pure anger, “you’re so, so unbelievably selfish.”

ix. when you change your mind, I'll be waiting

Days that come after are not much different from the weeks before. You still don’t talk to him or his friends, but the reason behind your silence is completely different now. It’s not you being busy; you no longer send an incoherent train of messages into the group chat with apologies of not knowing about the hang-outs sooner. Now, it’s because Yangyang stabbed you in the back and when he goes down, all your friends go down together. Not willingly, of course– you just knew all along that no one is happy with your new boyfriend. And that is enough of a reason for you to stay mad. 

Yangyang feels numb. Drifting apart from your friends is natural. You can’t really do anything against it– bending yourself over for something that is no longer beneficial for both of the parties is never an okay thing to do. Sometimes, you just have to watch that person slowly disappear out of the reach, walk away from your life forever. 

Drifting apart from your friends is natural, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t hurt. 

It hurts. It hurts so much that Yangyang chooses not to think about it any longer, because the truth is, you weren’t just his friend– you were his first love, as silly as it might sound.

Sure, he had crushes before– like on that girl in kindergarten or on that girl in middle school; the small devil that set his hair on fire in Chemistry class. It was never quite the same as the feelings he had for you, though. The nervousness and anxiety disappeared out of his body, the butterflies in his stomach not as panicky as with other girls in his life before. You made him feel calm. He didn’t have to worry about what you’d think of him when he was truly himself around you. He didn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not– he knew you liked him as he is, and that always made him so, so uncontrollably happy. He would even say he was your favorite; over time, you started acting so– but when that place in your life was suddenly taken out of his hands, with no time to prepare, he was left empty-handed and confused.

He was so, so fond of you. At times, it looked even simple– that’s how he knew he was in love with you. Love was supposed to be simple, after all, wasn’t it?

He spends his days at the café. It’s been a few weeks since you appeared at the door with your boyfriend, getting iced coffee together and then disappearing once again, on another one of your usual dates. He does his work on autopilot, his head somewhere completely else. 

Exams pass as fast as they come. He is surprised with himself to still get a decent grade– although he thinks he would’ve done better if you studied with him instead. The trip to the McDonald’s with your friends and Dejun to celebrate the semester ending seems empty without your cheerful voice filling the room and he can’t get himself to focus on a single word that comes out of his friends’ mouths. 

The last day of school is filled with emptiness in his stomach. It’s not that he’s not excited for summer break, but something tells him that it won’t be as exciting if you’re not there to drag him to the beach, or watch him skate around the town and fall down and scrape his knees. He was the main character of your Instagram stories last summer, and he was proud of being so. Not that he gained any new followers out of it, no– he just enjoyed the world seeing that he spends a lot of time with you.

Poking the food around on his plate, his head is hung low and his brows are furrowed into a worried expression. He doesn’t like sitting alone at lunch in the cafeteria, for it’s always filled to the brim with people and it makes him feel lonely, but all his friends are in class or at home, still, waiting for the last class of their semester to start after lunch break. He’s left alone– he’s quite getting used to it, though, so when the sound of a plate hitting the table across from him startles him from his slumber, he’s more shocked than ever before.

Looking up, he’s met with the state of you. It’s a sight that shakes him down to his core. Truth is, he wasn’t used to seeing you face to face anymore; not saying that he forgot what you looked like. He spent countless hours stalking you on social media, after all. Now, though, you look different than before– your hair looks less taken care of and your outfit looks like you put less effort into, resulting in wearing oversized clothing rather than carefully matched pieces completed with accessories. Today, you look simple, yet, even that was enough to make Yangyang’s eyes wide and lick his lips in anticipation. 

“Can I sit here?” you ask. Yangyang feels himself eagerly nod, putting the fork in his hand away, as if to brace himself for the impact of your words. 

Your body slungs itself into the seat in front of him, placing your arms onto the table and nestling a little in your place. Yangyang would even go as far as calling you nervous, from how your eyes hesitantly meet his figure and kick your leg up and down under the table. 

“What’s up?” he breaks the silence, because he thinks that if you sit with him without a word much longer, he’s going to explode.

Shrugging, you tightly smile. “Not much. How did your exams go?” 

The question catches him off guard. He surely didn’t expect such causality from you, after everything that’s happened between the two of you. “They went well,” he shrugs, “yours?” 

You nod, the smile on your face growing even tighter. “Yeah, they went okay, I guess…” you mumble, “could have gone better, but… given the circumstances I was in, I’m glad I could even focus on writing the answers down, to be honest.”

Yangyang wants to ask you what happened. Surely, the fight you had couldn’t be the reason why you couldn’t focus on your exams. You were the top of the class, the best student; you never had any problems with studying. There must have been something else going on that made you be out of it. He almost opens his mouth to ask you about it, when you cut him off and ask another question, desperately wanting to keep up with the conversation. 

“Do you have any plans for the summer?” your eyes light up when you finally open your mouth and take a bite of the food sitting on your plate, waiting for your friend to answer as you chew on the sandwich. 

“...not really,” he shrugs. He had plans before; he wanted to take you to the beach again, but this time, you’ll have a sandcastle contest. He also wanted to go camping, and there was this latino party scheduled for the fourth week of the break he wanted to take you to. He also wanted to invite you to his hometown, because his mother wanted to see you. And somewhere along the way, he wanted to confess to you… but that plan clearly failed. 

“Hm,” you hum, swallowing before you speak again, “I was wondering if you wouldn’t teach me how to skate this summer. You know, since I was too scared to try last year.” 

Yangyang hesitantly meets your eyes again, licking his lips with nerves. What is it with you suddenly having plans for the summer with him? For all he knew, you never wanted to see him again after his blatant lie a few weeks ago. 

“But that’s gonna have to wait a few weeks. I… I have to go home to visit my mum. She’s been on and on about how I never come home nowadays, and that I should just spend the summer break at home this time and that I need to get out of this town, but I…” you trail off, shaking your head, “all I’m saying is, I’ll meet you in three weeks. And then, we can do whatever you want.”

He stays quiet. The whole conversation is strange, the situation making his stomach twist and anxiety sit in his bones. This is not how he’s used to feeling next to you, so it’s all new to him, but just the fact that you’re talking to him, seemingly not mad anymore, is making him fill with courage as he moves closer to the edge of the seat and cracks his knuckles, preparing himself. 

“Y/N…” he trails off, in a sudden loss for words.

“You were right,” you get out, a tight smile plastered on your face, “I broke up with him,” you say, nodding to prove your point. 

Nothing in the world could prepare him for the words that came out of your mouth. He’s not even sure how he should feel– does he get happy? Does he feel sorry for your failed relationship? How does a man, who’s coincidentally, still kind of in love with someone, feel when that someone breaks up with their toxic boyfriend? 

Is it relief? Joy? He’s not quite sure. 

Perhaps he hasn’t grown enough as a person to feel worry for you at first. After a few heartbeats, though, it settles in, and he finds himself uttering out the words.

“I’m… I’m sorry to hear that, Y/N.”

“Yeah, it’s- it’s okay. I should have listened a long time ago. But that’s not important right now-”

“What happened?” he asks. The change is sudden, for sure. You seemed like you would never break up with that dude, no matter how many valid arguments you got from your friends. So what changed your mind? 

“He cheated on me,” you say, chuckling a little in irony, “maybe you should be a psychic, or something, because with how accurate your predictions are, you would have a secure place on the market. Maybe I’ll get you tarot cards for your birthday, so we have more to work with-” you ramble on and on, until he doesn’t compose himself and cut you off, saving you from your misery.

“I’m sorry Y/N. You didn’t deserve that.”

You bite on your cheek, nodding. He must admit, you look down. Yes, he did want you to break up with Hyunho, but never in a million years would he really want you to hurt as much as actually finding out that he cheated on you. 

“Thanks, Yangyang,” you mutter, smiling– except this time, the smile looks genuine, “so… we don’t have to talk about all of that. Let’s just… leave it in the past,” you giggle, taking another bite of your sandwich.

Your friend nods, suddenly feeling lighter. The weight of shattering the friendship you two had is no longer sitting on his shoulders, and although it’s shitty, he’s glad he has you back. He never knew just how much you could miss someone until he didn’t get to the point of missing the one person he claimed to be the most important to him. 

“I had a few plans for summer, actually,” he says, smiling, “we could do them all after you arrive.”

“Really?” you light up, kicking him lightly under the table. 

“Yeah! I wanted to go to the beach, since you like it that much.”

“You don’t even have to plan that, you already know I’m dragging your ass over there every third day of the summer,” you laugh.

“And we could go camping,” he mentions, “with everyone. I know Renjun has a tent he could lend us, and Dejun is learning how to play the guitar recently, so we can exploit him a little and invite him just so he can play some tunes while we start the bonfire,” he grins.

“Amazing. Anything else?”

“Hmm…” he searches in his brain, the schedule he made in his phone a few months ago opening in front of his eyes as a hologram, “there’s a latino party the week after you come back.”

“I hate dancing…” you mourn out, seeing him laugh at you.

“That’s not true!”

“It totally is.”

“Well then, I don’t care. I’m dragging you with me, because there’s no way you will get through this summer without seeing that those hips don’t lie,” he giggles, suggestively wiggling in his seat, making you burst out with laughter.

“Okay,” you nod, rolling your eyes playfully at your friend. Something in the air suggests that you both missed this– useless ideas shared at the lunch table, careless laughter flowing through the space. It’s like the universe is back aligned again, because you two are in each other’s lives, content with each other’s company. “Any other plans that need mentioning?”

“Well…” Yangyang starts, the checklist in his phone app he made before you started dating your ex boyfriend materializing in his thoughts, the last paragraph loud and clear in his mind. 

4. confess or whatever; it says at the very bottom. Yangyang despises that he remembers it so clearly. 

“We’ll see. I’m sure I’ll come up with something,” he says, seeing you smile widely at him, finishing the last bite of your sandwich. 

Standing up from your place, he follows you as you escape the cafeteria. The hot air outside slaps both of you in the face, but neither of you care as you bathe in the sunlight, enjoying the first day of summer break together. You’re leaving for three weeks, and Yangyang’s sure he’ll miss you; but the few days are nothing against the weeks of silence he got from you when he messed up in the past. He’s sure he can live through it. At least now, he’s sure you’re coming back.

“I’m excited to spend the summer with you all,” you say when you sit outside. 

“Me too,” he smiles. The sun hits his eyes, making him squint, but even that can’t make him hate the feeling of incoming summer that visits him with a promise of adventure.

And when you put your head on his shoulder, relaxed and comfortable, looking up to meet his eyes with eyes full of familiar glimmer, Yangyang almost promises to himself to confess to you again, when the time is right and you’re both ready.

Who knows. It might even work next time.

[singguks]

#fighton! ✱ 3 | bts

synopsis. like every college, this one also has gossip and drama to fill the hallways, as well as lot’s of parties and games to attend. but when two of the most popular groups start to collide the whole campus goes into havoc. suddenly all eyes are on them. what will be the final outcome of this clash of clans?

📕 this is a revamp; the old archive is here

pairing. bts x oc's

genre. college au + fluff + slice of life + smut + angst

word count. 17.5k

warnings. unresponsible drinking, lots of fights, and sexual tension.

a/n. dedicated to @tangyguk as a belated happy birthday gift!! thank you for being part of our precious group ♡ we adore you dearly and wish to have you next to us for many more years!! here's to you, sunny, and to your day. happy twelve of august ☀️

✱ chapters. #1 — #2 — #3 — #4

Carolina’s cell phone display marked eight-thirty am and the girl couldn’t help but shake her leg up and down in pure anxiety. 

She hated arriving late to practices in general, but today she just couldn’t. 

As it turns out, today was the first volleyball official game of the season. The male team would be competing later in the evening to classify, and whenever they had big games like that the whole team would be called to train together and help appoint errors on whatever they needed to better in court so they would be ready to ace the other team.

“Hey,” Ben called for her, his eyes trailing to the car changing lanes in front of them. “You’ll arrive in time, don’t worry!” He chuckled, finding the way she was clutching her seat belt in the passenger seat actually funny but also adorable. 

Carolina didn’t say a word, just nodded in agreement. For a second there, she felt guilty for choosing to sleep in Ben’s place instead of her own apartment, knowing it was way closer to the pavilion and Jin would always know shortcuts to get her on time. 

Her mind was only able to rest at ease when Ben parked the car right in front of the main door, and she gave him a quick peck before jumping out of the vehicle and running towards the locker room. She had precisely seven minutes to change her clothes, before the coach blew his whistle, marking the beginning of practice. 

She managed to barge through the court’s door a few seconds before Mr. Hoffman, their coach, blew that annoying thing he always carried around his neck. The players were all aligned, looking at Mr. Hoffman as he remarked stoically, “I thought you would miss today's sess too, Jones.”

“When did I ever?” Carolina punched back filling her spot on the line, and gaining what it felt to the start of a smile on the coach’s face. 

Mr. Hoffman had been a volley player too back in the days, so his natural stature of six foot one and his cranky face could make anyone step back in fear. But for the ones that dared to know the man better, or drive him mad at every opportunity like Carolina did, it was clear as day he was nothing but a softy deep down. He was just really stressed and short-tempered. 

“Alright.” He gave in. “Just don’t throw up like Jeremy over there… I know you guys had a party last night, but suck the hangover in, alright?! Shouldn’t hav’ gone to it in the first place.” 

They all held in laughter seeing the male’s team opposite hitter, Jeremy, laid on a bench, arm over his eyes like the world was ending. If they didn’t know him better, concern about him not being able to play in tonight’s game would surface, but then again, Jeremy was out and about every day. 

Countless times had he arrived minutes before practice with a massive hangover. And if you’re wondering… No, the coach didn’t need to take any measures. Jeremy is a wild card alright, but he’s also one of the best out there; he can be anything but unprofessional when it comes to volley. Or unpassionate. 

“So that’s where you were last night!” Lu whispered indignantly at Carolina’s ear while eyeing the bleachers. “I can’t believe you missed a sleepover at my house because of that gorgeous and sexy as hell man over there.” She added, making Carolina laugh and glance quickly at Ben, who waved at her. 

She saluted him jokingly, making him flash a big smile before she turned back to face the court to start practicing. And while she chatted cheerfully with Lu about her rendezvous, simultaneously stretching, a pair of eyes on the other side of the net followed her every move. 

Jungkook still hadn’t swallowed the scene he had witnessed the previous night. And seeing his teacher in the bleachers, staring at Carolina without a care in the world, wasn’t sitting right in his stomach. 

“JK?” Eunwoo, the male’s team setter, called for him again as he was lost in thoughts. “You following?” 

“Huh?” He snapped his head back to the actual team. As Eunwoo pressed again with a raise of his eyebrows, smiling at Jungkook’s unusual loss of focus when it came to the sport, he shook his head. “Sorry, yeah. Go on,” 

Eunwoo had been explaining what plays he wanted to make for their game later that evening, as he had been up late at night studying the other team’s moves. 

While he did so, and the rest of the team listened attentively, the girls were completely dispersed. The team itself wasn’t as close as the boys were, and that resulted in some inner circles as they stretched or practiced. 

Truth is, ever since Carolina arrived on the team there had been problems. Jennifer’s posh attitude had crashed immensely with hers, and to worsen the situation, the coach had appointed Carolina to the setter position and the starter line without even doing much training. 

At first, the collision was mostly bickering and eyes rolling here and there. Jennifer would always try to anger the girl somehow, but Carolina stood her ground without paying much mind. With time—not that long as you are probably thinking—things started running south. After the setter heard that conversation between Jennifer and Jungkook, she no longer ignored her snarky remarks or childish behavior. Carolina started barking back and that made things between the team shift. 

“Let’s move!” Mr. Hoffman demanded with arms crossed while his assistants kept a closer look at the players that were jumping up and down and taking their positions on the court. 

They were going to start the practice with the male team starter line playing against a mix of the female team starters and the male players that were on the bench as the coach would definitely make them substitute on the first or second sets. 

Jungkook was by the net and although Jennifer kept smiling at him from the other side, craving his attention, he had his eyes elsewhere. The bleachers.

“Don’t take it easy on us,” Eunwoo smiled friendly while offering his fist beneath the net to Carolina, who took the same position as him on the other team. 

She bumped it gladly, “Never!” 

Tracy, Jennifer’s best friend and the middle blocker of the female team, was getting ready to serve. Jungkook’s eyes went to follow her movement to try and predict where the ball would come to but all he could see was Ben’s figure leaning forward with a grin on his face while ogling Carolina. 

Is he looking at…?

“My bad!” their libero shouted as he failed to correct the ball’s trajectory to a perfect pass. 

Eunwoo moved swiftly to get the second touch and arrange the perfect position for one of his hitters. Jungkook saw the exact moment he was about to pass it to Jeremy, but he really needed that one. He needed to carve that ball deep into the court to let some steam off. 

“Open!” the raven-haired boy shouted with his right arm up; eyes eager and about to burn. 

Eunwoo didn’t think, he didn’t need to. Whenever this happened, his body reacted instinctively to Jungkook’s motion, much like a magnet. And so he tossed the ball to his teammate in a perfect parabole. 

Jungkook took a swing as if he was about to fly. 

As his body was raised closer to the net, he targeted the spot intended for the ball to go, and his hand came in like an unmerciful whip. Carolina, Tracy, and Jason jumped to block it, but they all knew it was a lost battle. Whenever Jungkook attained such a majestic form on the other side of the net, a point was guaranteed. So they all looked back when they heard the loud bang the ball made, but much to their surprise, it hadn't come in touch with the wooden floor like it always did. 

“Fuck!” They heard a loud groan coming from the bleachers. 

Carolina gasped as she saw the ball rolling down the seats, right next to Ben, who had his right hand over his shoulder with closed eyes and furrowed brows. 

“Holy…! Ben!” She went running toward him after the scene sank into her mind. To her relief, Mr. Hoffman had already sent his assistant to check on the man injured before her. 

Jungkook kept panting from the other side with his hands on his hips; his expression far from guilt or regret. 

“I’ve never seen you be so accurate before,” Eunwoo tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder with a naughty chuckle and a nod of his head making his teammate scoff and turn around to go fetch another ball. 

Jimin wasn’t supposed to be awake. At least not at eleven in the morning. 

He and Taehyung had arrived way too late last night, both unable to find their building or even walk straight for the matter. By the time they managed to do so, the sun was already shining bright on the horizon, turning everything it touched into shades of soft gold. 

The jock had planned to stay in bed until a bit after lunchtime, only getting up to eat something and then going back to his safe haven until it was time to get ready for yet another massive event—the volley team game and its party. Unfortunately, as he struggled to open his eyes, alarmed by the maddening sound of an unknown alarm, he saw himself in a different scenario. 

The owner of said alarm, Taehyung, sleeps soundly on the other side of the room, without mention of moving or even turning off the diabolical thing. 

So Jimin was forced to get up to do so. 

He kicked his blankets to the side, lazily crossing the distance to pick his friend's device up just to state his fear. Frowning to see how early it was, he cussed under his breath. The situation was about to turn south, as he turned off the maddening sound, ready to wake his roommate up with at least a pull on his leg when he spotted her. 

Right on the front lawn, under the willow tree that made their dorm have the best view compared to the others on campus, Jimin spotted Sarah. 

He didn’t have his glasses or contacts on, but he knew, from the way she laughed with her whole body, to her blonde locks fluttering in the light morning breeze that it was her. He had admired her long enough to know. 

The girl was accompanied by a group of friends, and she was the only one standing while the rest of them sat on top of a sarong extended on the lawn. They all looked at her, laughing as well. From what Jimin could gather, she was quite the taleteller. 

He looked at the device in his hand again. It was seven minutes to eleven-thirty. Jimin sighed. And then forgetting all about his rest, he opened his wardrobe, picking a pair of jeans and a loose dress shirt to put on. 

Not even fifteen minutes later, he was walking out of the building, teeth brushed, hair messily combed back with a pair of sunglasses to support his casual style. 

The coffee shop was right across, and he would definitely pass by Sarah if he were to trace through the lawn instead of going around it. It was perfect.  

But he should have predicted she would spot him first. And then what could have been a serendipitous moment became just a long catwalk while she stared at him with a large smile, and a hand over her eyes so the sun could be blocked. 

“Enjoying a morning walk after last night?” Sarah teased as he came closer to her and her friends. 

Jimin chuckled amused. “Came just for the coffee,” he said, pointing toward the coffee shop behind her. Then he looked at her friends sitting on top of a red sarong, with a shy smile. “Hey, how you doing?” 

The girls greeted him excitedly, exchanging glances between themselves. Sarah was too invested to notice. 

“Just for the coffee, huh?” she raised her eyebrow teasingly. Jimin chuckled. 

“Are you going to the game later tonight too?” a short girl with bangs asked him, all smiles. 

He looked from her to Sarah, as if waiting for an introduction and she quietly whispered her friend’s name to him. “Uh- Yeah! Are you going too, Sunny?” 

“We are!” she answered excitedly. “I was just telling Sarah we should go earlier since I’m pretty sure the place will be packed… Anything for a good seat!” she laughed, and Jimin nodded agreeing. 

“You should! I’m going earlier too” the boy added. 

“Well, I still have to find someone to interview today…” Sarah sighed, looking around as if her savior would come. 

Eliza, the other girl sat down, eyed her for a bit, and then shifted her glance toward Jimin. Sarah met her eyes and as soon as it happened she knew what was going to unravel next. She gulped nervously. 

“You’re an athlete aren’t you?” 

Jimin looked at the girl before even realizing the question was directed to him. “I am,” he said simply, waiting for further context.

Sunny looked at her too, expectant. Eliza then turned to Sarah. “Why not interview him?” 

“Oh I don’t know-“ Sarah said hesitantly. “I don’t want to take your time or anything…” she added, biting her lips. 

Jimin opened another radiant smile, looking at her fondly. He hadn’t expected to reach the coffee shop anyways, her company was all that he had been hoping for. 

Not knowing what the interview would even be about, Jimin answered. “It would be a pleasure to be interviewed by the infamous Sarah Lewis,” he added a wink at the end and the girl melted under his gaze. 

The blonde said quick goodbyes to her two friends, with promises of being as speedy with the interview as she could so they could meet early to attend the game. Meanwhile, the jock could only hope to extend their time together, after all, they did have some pending business.

Jungkook was pretty nervous. He was in the locker room, sat down together with his team, all waiting for the game to begin while their coach kept giving last advice and cheering them on. And although Jungkook very much liked the “old man” as he would call him, he had been listening to none of the words leaving Mr. Hoffman’s mouth. His only focus was the loud cheering he could hear from outside and the way their benches would shake from the crowd’s loud stomps. From what he could tell, the bleachers of the inside court were already packed, and he was right. 

Jimin was the first of his group of friends to arrive, and because of that, he was having some trouble safeguarding the seats for everyone. He was trying hard to balance out a rather large beer cup on his hands—that was already half empty—while his left leg was up to the side, on top of two seats, and his jacket on the other one by his right, as well as the cardboard piece he had made earlier that afternoon to support Jungkook. 

The more crowded the place got, the more he was finding it hard to keep the seats since they were definitely in the best spot to watch the game; courtesy of Jungkook who had given him the tip. The number of people trying to sit there just for him to say “I’m sorry it’s occupied”, especially the bad-mouthing session that came right after it, was proving to be a challenging task to his patience. 

He was about to curse someone himself, mentally blaming his friends for running late, once he heard Deo’s voice calling for him. 

“Chims!”, she did her best to get noticed by everyone passing by. “Down here!!” 

He took a second to spot her arms, waving the best she could as the place was very much full of people trying to accommodate themselves on their seats. 

“Come quickly!” he screamed back, caving into a full smile, “My leg is numb!” 

That was the thing about Jimin, he could get grumpy and emotional, or sometimes really mad, but he couldn’t do so for long. And if he were to be honest, he was always the one running late inside his circle of friends. Today had just been the exception thanks to a gorgeous blue-eyed girl.

“I thought I was going to lose a leg,” he sighed taking down his limb off the seats as Deo and Hoseok approached him to sit down, “I mean, I’m great at doing splits but this was just too long of a torture!” 

“Stop being dramatic,” Deo cut him off. “It was only fifteen minutes.” 

Hoseok laughed out, partially guilty while accommodating himself on his seat, “It was way more, and you know it!” 

The blonde one lifted his hand to point it at Hoseok, clapping it down again on his leg, happy for having someone side with him. “Thank you!” 

“Wanna die?” Deo intervened quickly with a look making her friend raise his hands in defeat as she bit down a smile. “Where’s Hyori by the way?” she asked, looking around. 

“Texted me a while ago saying she was just changing to come…” 

Hoseok took the cup from Jimin’s hand taking a quick sip, “Still? I dropped her off at the dorms hours ago!” 

Deo’s eyes quickly left the court to question Hoseok about her roommate. It wasn’t of Hyori to arrive late, much less to dwell so heavily on getting ready. “And you’re sure she went to our dorm?” 

“Mmhm, I’m sure.” 

Hoseok was clueless about the worrying state Deo immediately had gotten in. The sunshine of the group munched on some red gummies, sugar-coated, as his eyes scanned the volley court. With each second, more and more people were arriving and it was certain that there weren’t going to be enough places for everyone.

“There she is!” Jimin pointed out to the entrance on the other side of where they were seated before the strawberry blonde girl could ask Hoseok more questions. 

Hoseok squinted his eyes trying to look for Hyori among the crowd and as he found her, he got up from his seat raising his arms. “Wave at her!” 

“There’s no way she will see you.” Deo giggled while searching for her phone inside her purse. “I’m going to call her.” 

“Just shout her name,” Jimin added fuel to the fire getting up from his seat as well. 

“Guys, oh my God–” Deo covered her face as the two were already up on their seats, standing high. “Where’s Jungkook when you need him…” 

As the duo began to chant the brunette’s name, Hoseok began to jump, hands up in the air, trying to catch the girl’s attention. Jimin fell into a fit of laughter immediately, almost falling off his seat as his stomach began hurting. Deo already had her phone glued to her ear when Hyori hung up. 

“She sees me!” Hoseok's strident laugh is heard all through the venue, as he looks proudly at his friends. 

“Hope, you should try out for the cheerleading squad. That was amazing.” Jimin managed to say in between gasps for air.

Hyori had to strategically pick out a route to be able to reach her friends. And by the time she did, she was puffing, bag strap swinging over her head as she struggled to take off her jacket. Jimin, ever so gentleman-like, gave her his hand to help her sit as the other took care of the weight of her bag. 

“This place is packed!” Hyori commented, eyes scanning the room.

“Hell yeah!” Hoseok cheered, “those suckers won’t know what hit them!” 

The bleachers remained loud, people casually talking with their peers as they waited for the main attraction: the volleyball team, with Jungkook leading them out of the locker rooms. By this time, they were probably receiving a last-minute pep talk from the coach.

“Hyo, you look so nice!” Jimin squeezed the girl’s side, making her slap his hand. 

“Thanks.” Not knowing how to react to compliments, Hyori smiled, head leaning on the jock’s shoulder. “So do you.” 

“Hey, missy, what took you so long?” Deo inquisitively asked by her roommate’s side. 

“What do you mean? The game hasn’t even started.” Hyori replied coyly. If someone knew her was her roommate. 

Scoffing, the cheerleader presses, a smile adorning her features. “And did you have time to hide the evidence or when we get home your desk will be covered in highlighter?” 

Hyori furrowed her brows, eyes rolling instinctively. In her mind, she battled with her two options: keep being oblivious to her best friend’s questions or come clean. 

She chooses the latter. “Is it bad?” 

“Not at all.” Now eyeing the girl’s skin in more detail, the strawberry blonde compliments. “You’re at a pro level. Next time I need to do my makeup, I’ll come to you.” 

“Deal.” Hyori turns her body to chip in on the conversation of the boys next to her.

“Is it for the cute boy from the texts?” Deo whispers, teasingly and laughs right after, noticing how the girl beside her stiffens. 

“I–maybe.” 

Hyori knew that Deo wasn’t mocking her but she didn’t want the boys to know. They would make this a more significant thing than it actually was. And that was precisely why she hadn’t gone to Jungkook yet. Deo had pointed out how their friend could smooth things out for Hyori. So she glared at her bestie, a look the other knew as half a plea, half a threat to keep her mouth shut. 

“What cute boy?” Hoseok's head almost popped in between the two girls.

“Me, obviously.” Jimin smiled big, cockily. 

“You are such a jock.” Deo snorted. 

“Excuse me??” Pretending to be offended, the blonde boy protected his heart with his hands. “Am I not the cute bo–” 

“LOOK! THERE THEY COME!” 

The doors that led to the locker room opened with a loud bang making the crowd avert their attention to the players running towards the court. Both teams came to greet the audience from opposite sides. Jungkook passed by right under where his group of friends was, swiftly turning himself on his heels to look up and send them a flying kiss. They all laughed at his exaggerated expressions while doing so. 

“MAKE US PROUD!” Jimin shouted loudly, making the other three by his side laugh hysterically, and even join the chant of Jungkook’s nickname a bit after. 

The raven-haired boy couldn’t help but open a huge smile, even if he felt a bit embarrassed at the racket his friends were making on the bleachers. As soon as he sat down to hear the tactical moves his coach was about to suggest, however, he became serious and relentless. Almost like he couldn’t hear a single word around him but the ones falling from his coach’s lips. 

Not long after, the team got up. The players gathered around their coach to put their hands together, shouting the college catchphrase “Fight On!” like they were about to go to war. Once that was out of the way, the front-line players formed a line outside the court, waiting for the host to call for their names so they could make an entrance. 

“Here we go!” Taehyung exclaimed excitedly. A bucket of fries in one hand and a red and golden flag with the college insignia in the other; waving it proudly. 

Yoongi couldn’t help but chuckle amused as he saw Carolina cross her arms; she was sitting right under them, between their legs. “You are really out to piss her off today, aren’t you?” he looked at the players running to the court but Taehyung knew he was talking with him. 

“Pshh,” He scoffed, taking a fry to his mouth. “I’m not…” 

“I'm betting two dollars that Carolina will have him trapped in the girls' locker room by the end of this match,” Jin said casually to Namjoon, bending forward to see him as they were separated by Carolina and Luiza who sat in the middle. Not satisfied, he took two dollar bills out of his pocket and started waving them. 

The girl in question didn’t say a word. She was too pissed with what had happened earlier in practice to even bother taking her eyes out of the court. The thought of Jungkook failing all his serves played like a loop in her mind. Still, she couldn’t afford to think that way as the male team needed to win this game if they wanted to qualify for the finals. 

“What am I even doing with two dollars, bro?” Namjoon questioned, glancing at the bills in front of them with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Namjoon, sometimes you fail to see the beauty in capitalism… If you bet two dollars as well, we have four. The winner gets to buy a hot dog.” 

Jin didn’t need to say much more. Yoongi took his wallet out, fishing some bills out of it. “I bet she will at least pinch him. You know that hellish pinch of hers?” He asked with a sufferable expression as if he could feel his skin burning just from thinking of it. Jin looked up at him. 

“The sucker pinch?” The oldest asked while Taehyung ate his fries rather anxious while listening to their bets. “That’s a good one. How much?” he asked as Yoongi nodded his head. The game was about to start but the two were not at all focused. Namjoon, who was right in the middle of the trades, kept drinking his beer totally unbothered. 

“Three dollars” Yoongi flashed his bills out, “One hot dog and a beer.” 

At that moment, Taehyung scoffed. “She’s not pinching me, I’m like her bro- OUTCH!”, the boy’s hand went flying to his inner thigh in desperation, rubbing his burning flesh as Carolina laughed satisfied. Jin sighed, giving Yoongi two dollars and the latter immediately waved his hand in the air so the hot dog seller could spot him. 

“Why?”, they heard Taehyung whine. 

“Yoongi seemed hungry and you know, I like to help out artists… The music industry these days is tough”, she shrugged off with a serious face while Lu kept on laughing beside her. 

Yoongi bit down a tiny smile that threatened to escape, ruining his usual poker face. Before the hot dog seller approached him through the staircase, as he was sitting at the end of the row, he blurted out words that didn’t usually leave his mouth. “Love you.” 

“Love you too.” Carolina had said back without turning her head to look at him. She too was biting down a smile of her own. 

“What about me then?! Your dear roommate, hm?” Jin twisted his body completely to face her side profile; her lips trembling, struggling to hold in the laughter. Gaining no reaction or response from her, he exclaimed indignantly. “People these days! She’s worse than the music industry, let me tell you!” he was saying to whoever wanted to listen as the others laughed. Not satisfied, he glanced to his right, and locking eyes with a random guy he saw the opportunity to complain. “Can you believe this, Patrick?” 

There was a second of doubt. “M-My name is Noah”, the guy introduced himself awkwardly. 

“Oh…” Jin blinked, and if he got flustered he didn’t show. “Nice to meet you. I’m Jin. Can you call that girl over there selling fries, please? I’m hungry as fuck!” 

The boy beside him nodded, visibly taken aback by Jin’s behavior, and that only added more reason for Yoongi to burst out in laughter. “I can’t believe this guy”

“Hey Noah, ask her for one more bucket, please!” Taehyung added, acting naturally as if the boy in question was a friend of his and not a complete stranger. 

“And to think I argued with my dad to defend my friends…” Namjoon said humorously, taking another large sip from his beer. Both Carolina and Lu glanced over at him, and while the latter chuckled, assuming he had been making a joke, Carolina knew him better than that. His eyes weren’t smiling. 

She leaned back, waiting for him to look at her too, as Lu—who sat between them—was focused on the game playing on the court. 

“What happened?” she mouthed silently as his eyes met hers. 

“The usual,” Namjoon shrugged with a melancholic smile. “But not now. Maybe once I’m properly drunk I’ll spill my heart out to you.”

Carolina knew it was not the moment. Namjoon always talked whenever he felt ready to; on that, they were very much alike. So she nodded in agreement, giving him a bright smile, but holding onto that promise. 

“GO TROJANS!”, she shifted her focus back at the game as Taehyung screamed from above her, getting up to wave his flag passionately, smiling like a kid. Jungkook had scored another point. She sighed, slumping on her seat, head leaning on Yoongi’s right knee. 

To outsiders, it might seem she was supporting the other team, which was not so incorrect. It turned out she had been holding this childish grudge against the MVP of UCBL, so she was in internal conflict.  Carolina didn’t want her college to lose, but she also didn’t want Jungkook to win. To her misfortune, the sport she loved so much wasn’t a solo one… Losing, here, wasn’t an option, and she knew deep down they wouldn’t. 

The first set was almost coming to an end. The Trojans, Jungkook’s team, had already scored twenty points and the Princeton Tigers had a six-point difference to cover. Everyone in that court knew the Trojans would win. It was an easy game. But Jungkook was foolishly wasting all of his energy on the match. 

The team's main player had been, from the start, serving with brute force; his attacks were merciless and he would run with all his might after balls that weren’t worth running for. So much so, that once he scored the last point, securing the Trojans the win in the first set, and everyone cheered loudly screaming his name, his coach had no option but to call him in. 

“What are you doing, kid?” Mr. Hoffman asked as he came in sweaty, with a water bottle in his hands. Both teams had headed to their benches, as they prepared to switch sides and start the second set. Jungkook glanced around, with heavy breathing. “Hey, hey. Look at me! There’s no need to waste energy like that, you hear me?” 

“Why not?”, he retorted out of pure spite. His eyes encountered the confused ones of his coach for brief seconds before resuming to scan the inside bleachers, chugging down more water as he did so. “You always say we must have that kind of competitive spirit.”

“And it’s meant to use it wisely, you twat! What happens when you tire yourself out and they begin advancing on us?! What then?”, the coach exploded. The grey man had to take a moment to breathe, his hand coming to his hip as he looked down to inhale. Mr. Hoffman was close to grabbing Jungkook by his collar and dragging him to the bench to teach him a lesson, but he really couldn’t afford to take his best player out of the game before the second set even began. 

Jungkook tilted his head, starting to feel his blood boil again. “I know my limits, old man. My energy won’t end just because of this simple match,” he stated cockily. 

“That’s why you’re not my elective captain for when Sean graduates! You don’t think straight.” 

Jungkook finally looked at him properly. His jaw tensed to the sudden attack. “I’m your coach, kid. And I’m telling you not to waste any more energy. At the very least don’t make it seem like you need to give all of yourself to defeat them.” 

“That’s not fun–” Jungkook huffed vexed. 

“It’s not supposed to be fun, it’s supposed to be smart. So when we win this game our next adversaries—the Eagles that you sweat your ass so much to win over—are more mentally shaken thinking, ‘Wow that player didn’t even waste a breath on them’ you understand now?”, the elder asks him as if asking a five-year-old, verging on despair. 

Jungkook dropped the water bottle on the floor. “Fine.”

The coach sighed while watching him march his way to the court, waiting for the referee to start the second set. 

“What happened?” Hyori asked once the Trojans scored the seventh point in a carefree manner. “Why is Jungkook playing like he was playing beach volleyball with us?” 

Hoseok squinted his eyes toward the court, observing their friend. The boy in question had his hands on his hips as he waited for Eunwoo to go serve. “Is he already tired?”

“No it’s–” 

“Is he trying to mock the other team?” Deo cut Jimin’s explanation, turning to Hoseok for answers. 

“JEON JUNGKOOK IF YOU DON’T START REACTING RIGHT NOW I SWEAR–” Hyori yelled, alarming people around her. 

Jimin’s hand came to her mouth to shut her up. “He’s probably just playing lightly because they don’t need to do much to win against the Tigers, guys. Calm down.”

“But I mean… Couldn’t he at least try a little harder? It’s boring this way.” Deo added, and they all looked expectant at their friend who was preparing to jump. 

Eunwoo made a perfect pass and Jungkook came smashing it with full precision. The referee whistled. Another point for the Trojans team. “He’s doing good, nonetheless,” The group of friends heard, and one by one they turned around to see who had made that comment. 

It was Sunny, the girl Jimin had met earlier that day with Sarah. She greeted him with a knowing smile and he mimicked her actions. 

The petite girl didn’t play volleyball but she had been attending the games ever since she started college. Hearing one comment here and there about how the players made their moves, made her understand more of the game. And she could talk with ease about Jungkook’s skills now. 

“I think so too,” Jimin added, winking at her. Turning around to pick up the cardboard he had done, he nudged Hyori. “Help me out with this cardboard”, as soon as they lifted it up he shouted. “GO JK!” 

Jungkook was the outside hitter of his team, his function on the team was to be the last one hitting the ball so they could score. Even if he exercised said job lightly, he still managed to make it look amazing. 

The team had just blocked a counterattack from the Tigers, and the scoreboard showed the number twelve in red neon lights. Their rivals were still behind them, and at this pace, they wouldn’t be able to catch the Trojans. 

The referee beeped and they all stopped. The opposing coach had asked for a break. The crowd cheered as they watched Jungkook run to the side of the court alongside his peers to drink some water and take the opportunity to hear anything else their coach would like to add as well. 

“Any extra moves, coach?” Eunwoo, the team’s setter, asked with a victory smile. 

“You know, they’re not so bad…” Ian, their libero, let his thoughts come to the surface. “They’re just unprepared compared to us” 

“Don’t let that fool you. And certainly don’t drop your guards! Now– Keep it up, boys! You’re doing a great job.” Coach tapped their shoulders as a way of thanking them for the good work. He then proceeded to clap enthusiastically, gathering their strength before the time out ended. 

“Be careful with that hitter on the left…” Sean, their middle blocker and captain, warned them as he dried his forehead, looking at the other team pensively. “The kid managed to fit in points in some difficult corners” 

Eunwoo glanced at his captain, giving the water bottle he had in hand to their technician. “You think we should press his side more?” Sean didn’t give him an answer, however, just kept his eyes glued to player number twelve on the other side of the court. “What do you think, JK?” the setter turned to him, watching him drink water absentmindedly; eyes round and big, looking at the floor. Eunwoo knew him long enough to understand that was normal behavior whenever Jungkook had something stuck in his mind. “Hey! JK!” he punched his arm. 

“Mm?” Jungkook looked at them waiting for enlightenment.

“He’s too distracted with Jennifer… She’s in the bleachers somewhere” Jeremy, came by teasing and the boy in question snorted. 

But that wasn’t the case. Jungkook got to know of Jennifer’s presence there at that exact moment. No, his head was somewhere else entirely… It had been ever since he had witnessed Carolina with his History teacher last night in that alley. And earlier today again, when she showed up to practice with the ginger man. 

Something about the whole situation wasn’t sitting right with him. And he couldn’t brush it off. That wasn’t something he knew how to do. 

“Just worry yourself with hitting that ball inside their side of the court, Jeremy”, the raven-haired hitter countered, returning to the match, and making his peers laugh. 

Their captain, however, got nervous with the newly acquired information. “The girls came?!” Sean asked, looking around with a hand above his eyes to shield them from the lights. 

Eunwoo was about to answer when Mr. Hoffman showed up behind them, slapping the taller one on the back of his neck. “Stop looking for girls! Go play!” 

The three of them muttered a ‘yes sir’ and jogged with a different posture toward the court where Jungkook awaited. Eunwoo and Jeremy shared accomplices' looks before taking their positions, making fun of their captain. 

Having won the second set, and since the Trojans were once again leading the third one with a big gap, everyone started to expect a certain win. The boys were still executing elaborate game plays but more at ease. None of them were being forced to exceed too much. 

“Do we still have to be here?” Carolina mumbled to Lu, looking bored at the match. “We already know they are going to win… and I honestly have better things to do.” 

“Oh like making out with Mr. Benji?” Lu whispered with a smirk on her face, eyes peeking quickly at her friend before going back to a certain tall and tanned player. 

Carolina’s breath faltered, and she snapped her head to her friend, waiting promptly for explanations. She didn’t tell Lu about Ben being a teacher… Yet. She had been meaning to, but she left the party with the man instead of going with her friend as they had planned. 

Noticing the inquisitive glance of Carolina burning the right side of her face, Lu smiled, leaning to her side to whisper once again. “You know I’m his student, right? I have history of arts with him… And it’s been some days now that he tells us to read something while he grabs a coffee but he somehow always comes back half an hour later with lips way too red.” 

The brunette lifted one eyebrow at her reasoning, not buying it. “Carolina, the moment he showed up to practice it was clear you guys were making out. And like I said, he’s really my teacher.” Lu laughed, finding the coincidence funny and her stubborn friend trying to hide that fact even funnier. 

The oldest sighed, crossing her arms. “Fine. But are we going home or nah? I really did have better plans.” 

“First of all, it’s the two last points. They just scored twenty-three.” Lu pointed to the huge scoreboard across the arena. “And I’m sorry to break it to you but we are attending the party for the boys. You already called off with me last night, so shut it.” 

Carolina groaned torn by the fact she indeed had a debt with her friend. “Someone’s angry, how cute” Lu added, chuckling. 

“GO TROJANS!” Taehyung shouted from behind them too caught up in the game atmosphere. 

“Yeah, and that someone is me”, Carolina stated, glancing back with a scowl to the boy before sinking in her seat like a vexed kid. 

Luiza couldn’t help but laugh, squeezing Carolina’s cheeks, maneuvering her head so she could focus on what she wanted to show her. “No, that someone is him.” 

And she didn’t need to look much to catch hold of who the curly-haired girl wanted her to see. Jungkook was wildly running from place to place, making attacks way too angry once again. 

“What’s his fucking problem?” her question came muffled, as Lu’s fingers were still trapping her cheeks in a light squeeze. 

“I wouldn’t know… But mine is that one over there.” 

Luiza set free her friend’s cheeks, slumping her shoulders with a defeated sigh. Carolina raised her eyebrow. There’s no way she is crushing over Jeremy, the girl thought. And as if reading her thoughts, the honey-haired girl by her side clarified the situation, taking the opportunity that Namjoon was focused on buying something to eat while chatting with Yoongi. “Sean”, she said pointing to him with her head. 

Carolina’s expression lightened up excitedly, her mouth opening in surprise and her brown eyes doubling the size. “No way!”

“Shhh!” Luiza asked startled. 

The girl before her still had a chirp in her eyes, as if she had discovered the best secret ever. And indeed she had. Whispering, she got closer to her best friend who had her cheeks in a shade of pink, “I honestly think he’s not a problem for you at all” and as Luiza doubted her with a glance she added, “Lu, I’m serious! He’s all smiles around you!” 

The shorter girl looked at Sean once again, doubt all over her face. It suddenly subsided into a playful grin as her best friend nudged her with excited exclamations. 

“What did I miss?” Namjoon cut the party, taking an absentmindedly sip of his newly bought beer. “Oh wow! Final point already!” 

Jungkook was the one in charge of serving. It was their final point to score, and if they succeeded, the victory was theirs. They would qualify. 

As he assumed his stance on the edge of the line and lifted his eyes to see the Tigers on the other side of the net, he knew he could serve the ball and make it to be an ace. But that wasn’t fun. It didn’t spurge him, and he knew he had attentive eyes on him, waiting for yet another unforgettable game. The court was silent and expectant. 

The court devil, as everyone called him before ‘virgin boy’ became a thing, threw the ball up. His eyes were solely focused on it. Two large steps were taken, and suddenly he was suspended in the air. Jungkook made it look beautiful, easy even. 

The crowd held their breaths as his right hand came meeting the ball, spiking it directly towards the arms of the other team’s libero. It was a difficult ball to catch, even if he had put less impact on the effect he had perfected within the years. 

“NICE!” Jimin celebrated, seeing the ball hit on the libero’s arms but slip away to the side instead of going straight to their setter. 

The outside hitter of the other team was as good as Sean had made him be, managing to catch the ball and restructure the game. He had sent it in a larger pass to his opposite, accomplishing an attack, even if it wasn’t the quickest ever seen. 

“Shit”, Namjoon mumbled. His eyes were trailed on the game, afraid to blink. The beer glass he was holding was halfway to his mouth, still in mid-air. 

Ian, the Trojans' libero, managed to catch the spike as he dove onto the floor. But the blow had been a strong one, so the ball pinched on his hand and went backward. Jungkook knew Eunwoo wouldn’t get to the ball on time, so it was up to him to make the counterplay. If he managed to get to it too. 

But if anyone could, that would be him. 

He ran with all he had to the back of the court, eyes up on the ball, glued to it. So much so that he didn’t know what was in front of him. His legs moved recklessly. People from the crowd started to stand. 

Looking at the speed of the ball, he wouldn’t be able to do a bump, much less a basic pass to send it over to the net for someone to attack. In a last-minute call, Jungkook threw his body, reaching the ball with his foot instead. 

He landed with his butt on the floor with a loud thud, and if the circumstances were another, he would have felt the impact. But there was no time. He glanced back to see if he had succeeded, and before even confirming it, he was already back on his feet, running to his position. 

“Heavens!” Hyori gasped, worried. 

“Bro–” Deo couldn’t complete the sentence. 

Jeremy attacked, without much force due to the lack of precision on the ball thrown at him, but as always he made it seem effortless. As if the passes had been easily made from the start. 

“I don’t think I can look anymore,” Taehyung sang the last word, drowning in anxiety. “JUST SCORE”

The Tigers received the ball again, but this time poorly. The libero had passed the ball right to the other side of the net, failing to secure an opportunity of attack. 

Ian, in turn, received the ball like a feather. 

The ball flew graciously toward the net and Eunwoo switched position, changing the ball's course and speed. He had arranged it to perfection for Jungkook to make a speed attack. A fatal one. 

“JJK!” every UCBL student present was chanting together while stomping their feet on the bleachers. “JJK!” echoed in the air rhythmically. Every student but one. “JJK!”

Jungkook jumped high as ever, freezing time for brief seconds along with him. As his hand descended to attack, the ball was sent in the very corner on the end of the court, just like Sean had warned them about the Tigers hitter before. That was that hitter's signature move, and it took very little for Jungkook to perfect it, making it his own. 

The ball went through with such force and speed that the other team didn’t even notice it. The realization came with the referee’s whistle. 

Landing again on the floor, all Jungkook could hear was the chanting for his name and happiness overflowing through screams and shouting. But even amidst everything, his focus was elsewhere. As his teammates came to his encounter, celebrating their victory, he finally found what he had been searching for throughout the whole match. More specifically, who. 

There she was with crossed arms. 

He smiled smugly. And then he did what he shouldn’t have done. He started a war with a wink. 

“That fucking asshole,” Carolina grunted. In a second she had sprung to her feet, making way through the crowd to leave the place. 

“You guys go ahead, I’ll wait for Jungkook with him”, they heard Hyori say nodding towards Jimin. 

Once the game officially ended, the players have long gone to the lockers, and everyone started getting up to direct themselves towards the exits, Jimin had notified them he was going to wait for the crowd to subside. He had agreed to go to the court and wait there for Jungkook—who was going to take a quick shower before meeting his friends. 

Deo eyed her roommate suspiciously. In a fraction of a second, realization hit her. “We’ll wait for you three outside then…” a smirk was added to her features when adding, “Try not to take too long.” 

Before the black-haired girl could protest, her roommate had already turned around, taking Hoseok by his arm and pulling him along. Both of them were engulfed in a sea of students. 

“So…” Jimin started smugly, leaning on the railing before them. “May I know why I get the honor to be accompanied by the almighty Hyori who never once before wanted to wait inside a stuffed ambiance with sweat odors?”, he tried to imitate her voice as he quoted the last bit. She chuckled, giving him a soft punch to his chest and nodding her head. 

“I’m just being a nice friend.” Hyori shrugged. 

Jimin didn’t buy the act, however, and she knew that. Still, she was prepared to be evasive toward all the questions she knew he would start asking. Jimin has always had a curious nature, there was not much he wouldn’t know by simply pressing everyone until he got the information he wanted. 

“Look the route is clear!”, the girl added, making her way down to the court first. Jimin followed suit laughing at her attempt to change subjects. 

Hyori had barely touched foot on the court when Jimin pressed further, still behind her. “C’mon, spill it”, he whined with a smile. 

She was about to give him a poorly made excuse when the doors to the lockers opened and Jungkook came by carrying his duffel bag thrown back cooly on his shoulder. But Hyori gasped at the scene she witnessed afterward. 

Jungkook looked back, holding the heavy door long enough for Eunwoo to pass by. The scene seemed to display at a slow pace to the girl, but the commentary Jimin left in the air before the boys came closer made her snap out of it. 

“Oh, so this is why…” 

Her first reaction was to snap her head at the boy beside her, giving him a nudge, and making him laugh. 

She feigned normality. 

As they approach both of them, Hyori's smile widens exponentially. “There he is! Our superstar!”, and the moment she finishes her sentence and hears Jimin chuckle beside her she knows she made a poor choice of words. 

Jungkook seems even more embarrassed, smiling with full teeth and scrunching his nose to the new title. Before the situation gets worse, the raven-haired boy gets closer to her shaking his hair and making water droplets fall all over her face. 

“Stop!”, she cries. Her body is curled, trying her best to deviate from him. “Oh, my days, Jungkook! Stop being a dog!” she laughs and he stops. 

Jimin and Eunwoo watch everything delighted. “We went quickly from superstar to dog.” Jungkook scoffs, pretending to be hurt. 

Hyori doesn’t pay much mind to his complaint as her eyes lock with Eunwoo’s and he smiles adorably. “Hi,” he says making her smile. 

“Hi!” 

Before she gets the chance to say anything else, or try to extend the conversation, Jungkook interrupts. “Are we ready to roll?” Hyori shrinks as he’s not able to read the room. “You coming with us?” he looks at the setter standing next to him. 

“Yeah come with us!” Jimin tries as he sees the girl’s eyes get full of hope. “One of the girls can go on our lap or something. We can make it fit on the car.”

There’s some hesitancy on Eunwoo’s part as he sees everyone glancing at him. He smiles, ever so polite. His eyes almost disappear as they are shaped into an arch; his lashes beautify the movement. 

“Thank you but I already–”

“EUNWOO!” they all turn heads to see Jeremy far ahead with a hand up, trying to call for his attention. “YOU COMING OR NOT?” he shouts, tapping at his wrist as if he had an imaginary watch placed there. 

And again, Jungkook isn’t able to read the room like Jimin had been doing, much to Hyori’s demise. 

“We’ll see you there in a few then!” 

Eunwoo extends his fist so Jungkook can bump it. “See you soon!” he glances at Jimin and then Hyori, “Bye guys!” 

“Bye bro, and let’s celebrate the match!” Jimin says as the setter makes his way toward Jeremy walking sideways. A thumbs up confirming the proposition. 

The three of them watch as Eunwoo is reunited not only with Jeremy but also with a cheerleader Hyori knew from Deo’s classes, and Ian, the team’s libero. They walk towards the exit with a cheerful talk that can’t quite reach their ears properly. 

“Let’s go too then!” Jungkook says excitedly and Hyori sighs, glancing at him disgruntled. Jimin sees the exact moment she slaps the back of the head of their friend making him stop on track. He eyes her confused.  

She doesn’t return the eye contact as she marches up front leaving them behind. “I swear you are so dense sometimes!” he hears the girl grunt. Jungkook turns to seek explanations from Jimin, but he gives him no answers with a shrug of his shoulders as they start walking again to follow Hyori out of the venue. 

The music could be heard for miles. 

Of course, nothing could top a football victory party but the ones thrown in honor of the volleyball team followed right after. No invitation was needed and no one dared to miss them. Even those that didn’t care for sports attended. Jeremy always took care of the parties for his team, his frat house acting as the place to be after every single game. 

Yoongi scrunches his nose as soon as a new song starts to play. 

Despite the music at the moment passing as background for his ears, he’s too picky to not react to it. Even if no one around him noticed the scrunch. Tonight he’s not the designated DJ, nor the designated caretakerㅡof Taehyung, of course, who was usually the lightweight of the group. Still, it was likely that a change in one of those statuses would happen. If there was one thing that drove him mad was the frat party music. And as for Taehyung, well, somebody had to keep him in check, and not always his friends would leave a party walking straight. He was definitely the one that held his alcohol best. 

“And they introduced it like a pop tart?” Jin asked, mouth agape. 

“Yes!” Sunny squeals loudly. “It was disgusting!” 

“I would be scared for life.” Jin shook his head. “And I like a good prank.” 

“Prank me with everything, just— don’t put vegetables inside my pop tart.” Sunny’s expression is serious. “Or I will sue.” 

“Trust issues, man.” Taeha laughs out, making Yoongi grin by her side. 

Jin’s dramatics are intensified by the light touch of liquor in his blood and a simple conversation about Sunny’s most recent appearance in Taeha’s podcast swiftly turns into a serious—and perhaps even, the most important conversation of his life. 

“JK!” As quickly as Jin emerged in the conversation was how quickly he snapped out of it, his downstairs neighbor approaching the circle. 

“How’s it going?” Shoulder bumping with the oldest, Jungkook smiles big. Looking around the group, the volleyball player nods to both girls. 

“Great performance earlier!” Sunny speaks cooly. 

“Thanks.” Jungkook smiles from ear to ear. “But what nonsense was that about veggies in pop tarts?” 

Sunny chuckles, hand trapping a strap of her hair behind her ear. 

“It’s for Taeha’s podcast.” Jin nudges his head towards the girl that was now deep in a conversation with Yoongi. “Sunny tried the worst-rated restaurants around campus.” 

“Well, you kinda’ had to see it coming, then.” Jungkook laughs. 

“Strangely enough… I was counting on maybe food poisoning. Never crossed my mind to be betrayed like that. Someone should close that establishment–” 

The girl speaks seriously and both boys fall into laughter, only for the conversation to be interrupted by a tipsy brunette. “Let’s go dance!” 

And as the popular girl that Jungkook immediately recognized as Hyori’s cousin, Harin, swoops in on her friends, the girls can only share some glances with the confused boys that were left mid-conversation. But they are quick to shrug it off. 

“So,” Jungkook trails off. “Where’s the she-devil?” 

“Carolina?” Jin laughs. For some time now he had been sensing something between those two and he wanted nothing more but to meddle with it. “She’s off somewhere. But I swear I saw her here already.” 

“She was with Luiza,” Yoongi comments nonchalantly. “But you need to be careful. If she hears you…” 

Both troublemakers smirk knowingly, leaving an intrigued Jungkook in between them. “Oh, I can handle her.” 

“I thought so too…” Jin shakes his head, eyes glued to the floor as if remembering something traumatic. “I thought so too…” 

The repeating makes Yoongi crack. “Their house is a battlefield.” he clarifies. 

Jungkook smiles, not knowing what to say after that. Instead, he opts to scan the crowd of drunken people that danced in the middle of the living room of Jeremy’s frat. He had made up his mind and he intended to fulfill the task he had appointed to himself as soon as possible. 

His eyes fall on Namjoon. The clumsy tall figure of his housemate struggles to move through the crowd, arms in the air as he carries two red cups and another one dangling dangerously from between his teeth. 

“I hope that one isn't mine." Jin makes a disgusting face, mentioning the cup that was threatening to fall from the Dean's kid's lips at any second. 

"I've seen you lick dirtier things," Namjoon speaks immediately after Yoongi frees one of his hands. 

"Dang. What have you been licking, bro?" Jungkook laughs teasingly. 

"Do you really want the answer to that?" Now is Yoongi's turn to tease. "Because if I were you…" 

"Hey!" Jin pretends to be offended. "That was a one-time thing!" 

The entire group stares at Jungkook to see if he had bought the antic, as for a split second he seems to be speechless. He begins laughing, yet again not knowing what to say or do, and everyone follows suit. 

"Well, I'm going to get myself a drink." 

"Find us later if you want a ride!" Yoongi offers. 

"For sure! Hit me up before you leave and I'll meet you in the front." 

Jungkook doesn’t waste time and moves through the crowd toward the bar. He thinks to himself that not only does he need a drink but he also needs to find who he is looking for. His head was spinning with so many thoughts he could hardly enjoy the night as he had been planning. 

As he reaches the improvised bar, tucked on the farther side of the living room, almost next to the kitchen, he eyes his options. Beer wouldn’t do it for him tonight. He spots a brand new bottle of vodka mixed between the empty ones. Vodka it is. 

The MVP player of the night had just finished mixing his drink—vodka with grape and mint, his new concoction—when he turned back, taking a sip, and spotted Jimin on the other side of the crowd. 

Some people tapped him on the shoulder as he made his way toward his friend, all of them opening smiles and congratulating him for the game. He knew none of those people, but he still thanked them with his own kind of smile. 

“There you are!” Jimin pulled him to a side hug as soon as he spotted him. Jungkook was quick to pass the cup to his other hand in order for Jimin not to knock it out, spilling the content, as he had done many times before. 

“Where’s Kiri and Hope?” He asked taking a sip and eyeing as Deo rolled her eyes at something the boy by her side had said close to her ear. The boy was a friend of Jack, the girl's ex-boyfriend, probably annoying her to give him another chance. Or, even trying to have a chance for himself, as everyone knew how toxic Jack’s friend circle was, to begin with. 

“Hyo went to grab booze with Hobi but you know him…” Deo answered, taking the opportunity to escape the guy by her side, and Jimin laughed amused. 

“Hobi probably met some people along the way and aborted the mission,” 

“We’re waiting for Hyori here in case she is trying to find us again” the girl added. 

Jungkook nodded and took another sip of his drink. 

He bounced mindlessly to the sound of the beat while talking to Jimin and Deo. His eyes still got lost in the crowd from time to time, searching. 

“Gguk!” Deo tugs at the end of his shirt.

“There he is.” Jimin chuckles, noticing how Jungkook almost shook his head, waking up from the trance he was in. 

“What planet did you got dragged to?” 

“I’m right here.” The boy chuckled. 

“You’re so off today.” Deo crossed her arms over her chest. 

The usual annoying look that would be on the cheerleader’s face from Jungkook not listening to her was replaced with one that hinted at concern but also curiosity. Of course, everyone in the Hope Club was used to Jungkook spacing out. It happened all the time.

But today he felt different. 

Even before the game, when the strawberry blonde girl had a chance to see him, he seemed off. There was this spark in his eyes… One that he would have whenever he was planning a prank or being challenged. 

“You’d think that because you’re too sober now, Dee.” Jungkook acted cool. “Let’s get her a drink, Jiminssi.” 

Ignoring the protests of the girl, Jungkook swings his arm around her neck, Jimin following excitedly behind the two as they make their way through the crowd and into the kitchen area. 

A big marble counter was filled with drinks and the typical red plastic cups. The rows that once were stacked perfectly next to the drinks now lay scattered around the counter. Besides the last few that were still perfectly stacked, it was hard to tell which ones had been used and the ones that simply had fallen and were unused. 

Jungkook takes his time preparing his friend a drink. Pretending to know about mixology, he plays with the bottles, spinning them between his fingers as Deo can’t help but fall into laughter. 

“Thank you, barman.” 

“Where’s mine?” Jimin whines. 

“You have a cup in hand that it’s full to the top.” Deo rolls her eyes at the jock as he takes no time in drinking the whole thing in one sit. 

“Now…” He stops, catching his breath as he licks his bittersweet lips, a smile plastered on them. “Where’s mine?” 

“Coming right up!” 

Deo giggles, taking the red cup in between her hands and taking a sip. Jungkook looks expectantly before turning to Jimin’s drink. It wasn’t a cocktail—far from it, actually. Just a simple vodka with orange juice. He knew how much the girl hated the bitter taste that some beverages carried, so he would always make sure they were sweeter. Of course, most times, that ended up with Deo drinking way more than she was supposed to, burdening Hyori throughout the rest of the night, afraid of puking and shocking her to death while complaining that the room was spinning.

“There you are!” A high-pitch voice startles the entire group. And it’s visible on everyone’s faces the mood changing in the bat of an eye. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, babe!” 

Jungkook sighs before forcing a smile on his features. The girl that had been standing with her arms around his torso now forces her way into his arms. Jennifer. 

“What’s up?” Jungkook asks but wishes it was rhetorical so there wouldn’t be an answer. 

“I wanna dance!” The pout on the volleyball’s outside hitter's lips shows how drunk she already is. 

“Go have fun.” Removing his arm from her shoulder, Jungkook turns to the drinks on the counter. 

“With you, silly.” Jennifer laughs. 

“He was kinda in the middle of something. Not that you noticed.” Deo smiles but is far from a polite one, finger twirling with her hair. 

“But Kookie always has time for me. Don’t you?” Jennifer pouts again, leaning on the boy. “And I have an idea of what we can do after,” The mischievous smile on her lips leaves little to no imagination to everyone standing there and as she leans to speak in Jungkook's ear, it becomes even more evident. 

“What the—” 

Deo’s disgusting stare is hard to miss and Jimin can’t help but laugh hysterically at the entire situation. Jungkook presses his lips together, a sign of apology for leaving his friends. 

“Men are so easy.” 

“Hey, hey!” Jimin lifts his hands up in the air, defeatless. “Is your drink not sweet enough?”

“Yeah, it is. But you’re making me sour.” Sticking out her tongue, the girl waits as Jimin finishes pouring whiskey into his cup. 

“Do you wanna go dance, too?” Jimin swings his arm around the small girl. “We can see what comes out of it later,” he jokes.

Deo can’t help but laugh, eyes rolling at the stupidity of her best friend. “You wish.” 

“Am I not good-looking enough?” Jimin cries, stopping in place. 

“Hmm…” Deo turns to face him, index finger on her lip as she pretends to be deep in thought. “You’re too emotional.” 

The girl giggles as Jimin's mouth is agape and his eyes widened to pretend he is offended and enraged. 

“How could you say that?” 

“Suck it, loser.” 

Middle finger up in the air, Deo continues giggling as she runs from the kitchen and towards the music. She’s sure Jimin is following right after her and so she speeds up her pace. 

The party was crowded. Fuck Up The Friendship by Leah Kate plays loudly and everyone in the living room dances. The smell of alcohol mixed with the sweat from the colliding bodies, grasping for touch as couples make out in-between moves, filling the entire room and setting the mood.

Deo gasps as her cup come flying off her hands, the impact hitting her out of nowhere. “Dude, watch where you’re go—” She stops mid-sentence, eyes reaching the face of the boy that had just bumped into her. “Taehyung.” 

“Didi, are you ok?” Jimin comes rushing to the girl’s side. 

“Yeah—” The girl takes a second to look herself up and down. 

The content of her red cup that was now laying on the ground had missed her completely—or almost. The white converses she was wearing were slowly changing into a soft shade of orange and she felt her blood boil. 

“It wasn’t me!” Taehyung’s eyes widen, and his hands shake by his chest, defending himself. 

“Really?” Deo scoffs. 

“I— I really wasn’t!” Taehyung looks to Jimin, silently asking him to come to his defense. 

“C’mon, it could’ve been a lot worse!” The blonde jock tries to help but clearly misses his shot, gaining a stern look from his best friends. 

“Whatever. The least you could do is apologize.” The girl rolls her eyes.

Deo turns to leave, only for Taehyung to grab her by the wrist. “It really wasn’t me. That guy—” 

Taehyung turns around, ready to point to the real culprit of the situation he was in but no one was in sight. At least, not the one that could take the blame for him. Deo lifts her eyebrows, expectantly. 

“I was trying to protect you.” 

“Protect me?” Now the girl laughs drily. “What? Don’t tell me he had a knife.” 

“He was going to bump against you.” Taehyung presses his lips together, taking a deep breath. 

“So you decided—in that pretty head of yours—that the outcome would be better if you bumped into me.” 

Logically, Taehyung knew it made no sense. But his intentions were pure. “Well, in my head, I was going to be able to reach you in time to avoid any collisions but he pushed me instead.”

“Gee, Jimin, you never told me you were best friends with Flash here!” The girl talks to the jock but doesn’t even bother to look in his direction. 

Taehyung laughs drily. Licking his lips, he looks the girl straight in the eye before scoffing. “Would you look at that? Yesterday we were fuck buddies, now we’re like this.” 

“What?!” Jimin finally wakes up from the conversation. 

Deo is caught off guard. Of course, she remembers what Taehyung is referring to. "Excuse me?” 

“You’re really going to pull the amnesia card on me?” he laughs incredulously. A hint of annoyance flashed through his eyes. 

Laughing nervously, Deo crosses her arms. “Are you calling me a liar now?” 

“You’re a terrible liar.” Taehyung lifts an eyebrow at Deo’s smile. 

“Guys,” Jimin tries to intervene but he’s completely ignored. 

“I didn’t lie!” 

“Would you prefer the term playing stupid?” Leaning against the wall, Taehyung watches the girl closely. 

“Do you insult all the girls you try to save?” 

For two whole more minutes, Jimin watches as his best friends continue to bicker, the subject now being changed to something else that was bothering one of the two. It was exhausting, Jimin finally concluded. The two were so absorbed in their argument, filled with nonsense, that they wouldn't even realize if the house would start falling to pieces.

“Wah,” Jimin sighs exasperated. “You’re both impossible to talk to…” 

The jock complains more to himself than anything, as both his best friends are more concerned to keep disagreeing with each other. 

“Yes, Jimin, let’s go to a party with your best friends! It’ll be super fun, you will see!” The jock adds, dramatic as ever. He stares at his empty red cup. “I need more booze to hang out with you.” 

His eyes travel to the pair in front of him just to state the obvious—they were still not paying attention. So he turns around and makes his way through the sea of people dancing in the living room. 

Only a couple of steps separated Jimin from the drinks counter but he had to stop multiple times to speak to several people. If he had to be honest, he didn’t remember half of them. But that was one of the things that came with being the quarterback of the university. Well… That and being extremely attractive. 

One drink after the other, one of the most well-developed skills Jimin had was his drinking. He could take it well. Mid conversation with a group of cheerleaders from the volleyball team, he comes to the conclusion that his red cup is, yet again, empty. Charmingly, he excuses himself from the boring conversation he had long lost interest in.

The bar is his destination, but as he walks, crumpled by the movements, he spots a familiar pair of blue eyes near the kitchen door. 

“Sarah!” he greeted, coming along, and the smile on her face got even bigger. The boy who talked to her before was long forgotten, as well as the drink Jimin was going to fetch. 

“Jimin,” The girl greets equally excitedly. “Twice in a day… I’m starting to think that the universe is pushing us together.” 

After their morning encounter, and the quick interview Sarah managed to get thanks to Jimin, they had to say their goodbyes. The girl had received a call from her sister who was expecting her to grab lunch. Jimin had walked her all the way to the front gate and although they said their goodbyes with a “see you later” they knew it was an improbable encounter. 

He is, however, somewhat dazed at the implications behind the blonde’s premise. His hand runs through his hair. 

“Either that or you’re a psycho.” The girl holds a serious expression before giggling. 

“So, what’s your gut feeling telling you about me?” Acting coyly, Jimin jokes. He licks his plump lips once again. 

“I guess I’ll have to find out.” The playful smile that adorns Sarah’s face shakes Jimin. 

It was as if he had been asleep and suddenly a jar of cold water had been dropped on top of his head. Filled with goosebumps, he feels cool at the sudden approach of the beautiful girl that he so much dreamt about. 

He wasn’t about to leave her hanging, of course. 

Leaning in closer, with fluttering eyes, they were only millimeters away from each other’s lips. 

“Jimin-ah!” The sudden shouting isn’t enough for the drunken boy that engulfs his best friend in his arms. “I’ve been locking– looking everywhere for you.” 

Taehyung’s voice comes out slurry as he keeps leaning on the quarterback. Sarah can’t help but laugh at the situation.

Jimin doesn’t know if he should be furious or just murder his friend right away. 

“Tae, how did you get so drunk? You were good an hour ago.” 

“I’m not drunk, I’m coping” he mumbled, prolonging the last word.

Sighing, Jimin runs his hand through his hair. He knows he needs to help Taehyung but the moment he’s having with Sarah is all he wanted for some time now. “Do you mind?” The jock tilts his head with apologetic eyes, towards his friend that was still in his arms, now making small circles in Jimin’s chest completely spaced out.

“Not at all.” Sarah keeps on giggling at Taehyung. He was so out of himself that he didn’t even say hello to the girl. “I know we’ll find each other again.” 

Jimin can only sigh at the teasing comment the blonde has made. And as she turns her back on him, he hits Taehyung straight in the head.

“I can’t believe you.” He whispers under his breath, dragging him to the drinks counter. 

Taehyung was in desperate need of some food and water. Jimin had his back to him, searching for something in the cupboards. Cereal is good enough. But the drunken boy didn’t wait as his brain was already intoxicated with booze and his body seemed to move all by itself.  

Instead, he saw himself walking out of the kitchen through the second arch that led to the entrance of the frat. The party was still alive, and people would still walk in, either searching for friends or for having a good time. 

He kept walking, caving a path between the crowd, without a destination in mind. And he stopped whenever someone called his name, introducing him to people he could swear he had never seen around in college. When that happened, he tried his best to feign sobriety, smiling from ear to ear and giving a side hug accompanied with an “It’s really nice to meet you!”. 

Taehyung wouldn’t stop for long, excusing himself to go find his friends. He always claimed that they were waiting for him when in fact he was just trying to get out of the conversation before people realized the truth—he either had no idea who they were or wasn’t in a clear state of mind to interact as he should. 

The last group he stopped by was because he saw the familiar face of a Youtuber he had been following for a while now. She would visit the majority of unknown yet hip places around campus, and thanks to her Taehyung had never felt without options to visit on the weekends. 

“Yuna!” he said, approaching her as if they had been the greatest of friends. “You’re Yuna, right? From youtube?”

She offered him a smile, not so clueless about who he was, even though she had never talked to him before. Taehyung had a reputation… One well known amongst students and as he stood this close to her, she could confirm everything said was indeed true. 

He was gorgeous. 

“Hi!” she greeted with a chuckle. “Yes, that’s me!” 

She was standing beside two other girls, and Taehyung presumed they were her friends. He waved a hand at them accompanied by a smile and then looked at Yuna again. “Do you know where I can find one of those?” he pointed at the drink she had in hand. 

“We got some over there!” she turned back indicating the dining hall and Taehyung squinted his eyes at the scene unfolding before him. 

Across the sea of people, braiding back and forth around the house, he could see a crowd cheering around the dining table. Carolina and Lu were dancing on top of it. 

He didn’t say anything else to Yuna, just leaned on the shoulder of a guy that was passing by and went toward the commotion. “Hey!” he shouted before even arriving closer. Carolina wasn’t paying any attention, as she smiled loosely at the girl beside her, showing her moves. 

Taehyung pushed past some guys that were by their feet looking up. “Get down there! Carolina–” He demanded, tripping on his own feet as he too was out of himself. Carolina just twirled around, eyes closed as she danced to the rhythm of the song blasting on the speakers. “Hey!” Taehyung shouted back at her attitude, now facing her back. 

He knew for sure she had seen him. This was just her trying to ignore his demand. 

Not wasting any time, he pushed forward, his hip meeting the edge of the table. “You’re getting down now–” He grunted as he looped her around her waist and pulled her down. 

“Oh for fucks sake!” she exclaimed, not even debating much. Carolina knew the only fool crazy enough to pull her down from a table was him. 

She had to lean on someone that passed by as to not fall, easily concluding the state of how drunk he already was. “That pissed already, huh?” 

He shook his head. “No– No,” he swiveled his index finger. “No twirling on tables.” 

Carolina eyed him and laughed. “Oh so you can dance to Doja Cat on top of a table but I can’t?” 

He smacked his lips together with a funny face.

“You’re completely wasted, aren’t you?” she asked but he only laughed with a hand on her shoulder so as to not fall. 

The girl began thinking about what she should do to him, scanning the room and looking for any sign of their friends, to help her take care of Taehyung. He needed something to snack on. At least until they got out of there and made a quick pit stop at Mcdonald's drive-thru like they always did. 

She managed to drag him, as he shouted incoherent things or sang along on the way to the puffs she remembered seeing Yoongi and Jin. 

Carolina placed him between Yoongi and the edge of a couch, making both him and Jin promise they would take a look at him while she went to fetch something in the kitchen. 

The way there was rushed, but smooth. She wasn’t that affected by the amount of booze she had ingested so far. Besides, not mixing drinks was in favor to stay conscious longer so she could enjoy the party. 

“Hey, Jer!” she shouted, spotting the hitter from the volley team. The brunette sat on top of a counter in the kitchen, munching happily at some cookies. His eyes fell upon her and he opened his classic smile. His right hand placed a cookie in his mouth before he waved at her. 

“Do you have more of that for me?” Carolina said, as she came closer and looked at the cookies. Taehyung would like those. 

“Uhm… I think we have some more in one of these cupboards–” Jeremy looked behind him, opening one of them to check. Carolina quickly opened the one on the side to check as well, smiling wide as she spotted two more packages. 

The brunette held the door as she leaped forward to be able to reach and snatch the cookies. 

“Jackpot!” she said making him chuckle. “By the way, good game today. You really improved your jump. The pool training was totally worth it!” 

They laughed and he thanked her with a warm smile. Although he had a bit of a fuck boy reputation, Carolina had always thought fondly of him. He was a nice guy, the nicest if she were to think about it. And not because he had a hidden agenda in mind, but because he genuinely liked to be useful to people. If it weren’t for him, she would never be able to perfect her passes. 

It was with him that she trained to be able to deliver quick attacks to the hitters. 

Before she could turn around and go away, Jeremy looked at her. “Did you see the others already?” he questioned as to make conversation. “Eunwoo is around somewhere, I lost him… And Sean had been looking for you and Lu.” 

“Where’s Sean?” the girl asked. A quick pitstop to leave the snacks with Taehyung and then off to make a good deed for her friend. Luiza and Sean were a couple she had never seen coming but at the same time, the more she thought about it, the more it made the perfect sense. 

Jeremy pointed to the backyard with a nod. “Last time I saw him he was there with the boys… But I don’t know, I came to eat something to be able to handle the third round,” she heard him laugh but not a word sank in. As soon as she turned around to look at the spot he pointed, she saw Jungkook with a bottle in hand as Jennifer whispered something in his ear with a smirk. 

“Alright, Jer, go easy on those cookies”, she answered with a smile, before tapping his leg, taking a bottle of Jack that sat on top of the counter next to him, and making her way to her drunken friend. Something crawled inside her skin. 

After leaving two packets of cookies with Yoongi for him to tend to a drunk Taehyung, Carolina marched out to the second floor. She stomped her Adidas brutally as she went up the steps. 

Reaching the second floor, one-third of the whiskey bottle was already gone, and her social battery was certainly drained. So much so that instead of talking to some random boy that passed by calling her name, she ignored him in the search of a quiet place to sit by herself. 

“DUDE SOME PRIVACY” she heard as soon as she got fully inside a bathroom, locking the door behind herself. 

“Oh, hey there!” Carolina greeted, feeling quite sociable once again, feeling the booze hit her. “The door was… open?” she added, pointing backward with a poker face as the girl sat on the toilet and eyed her baffled. 

“Oh–” Deo concluded, looking at the door and then at the tall girl again. “Really? My bad,” and she resumed pulling some of the toilet paper to pat it on her shoes. “Fuck, it’s not working! Do you have baby wipes or something?” she eyed Carolina again. The girl was leaning on the sink, sipping from her bottle as she fixed her hair, looking at the mirror. 

Her brown eyes didn’t leave her reflection. “Nope… But I bet Jer has something. Wait–” Carolina crouched, her bottle still in hand, as she opened the drawers under the sink to snoop around. 

“What– Ah! Don’t! It’s–” Deo tried to stop her but it was in vain. She jumped to her feet a few seconds later with a pack in her hand, closing the drawers again with her knee. 

“Here it is–” she went towards the strawberry blonde girl, handing her the baby wipes. 

“Thank God, I owe you one!” she said while Carolina had her back to her, pacing around the bathroom. “Didn’t even think about rumbling through their stuff. Boys…” 

The other girl chuckled understanding what she was trying to say. “I’m acquainted with one of the boys living here. He always has baby wipes to clean his shoes, don’t ask me why.” they shared an accomplice glance before laughing. 

Carolina sat on the edge of the bathtub, taking another sip from her bottle as she saw the other girl resume her cleaning. “Hey, do I know you?” she added with furrowed brows. Her brain worked hard to place the face of the small girl before her with a name. “I know you, don’t I?” 

“Uhm, probably?” Deo glanced up quickly to face her, returning her gaze to her sneakers seconds after. “I think I know you too?” she added confused, discarding the wipe she had been using in the bathroom trash before directing herself to the sink. 

“Huh,” Carolina mumbled, slipping her legs into the tub and then sliding swiftly until she was comfortably sitting inside it. 

Deo eyed her through the mirror while washing her hands. “You ok there?” she looked again, scanning her face for any sign of sickness. “Need to puke?” 

Carolina laughed, turning her face and meeting her eyes through the mirror. “I’m fine.” she dismissed. “Thanks for asking though! I’m just here to relax a bit– Some people take me out of my right mind sometimes.” 

“Talking about boys? Cause let me tell you! Boys are the worst.” 

Deo turned around, with arms crossed, and leaned on the sink behind her. Carolina looked at the ceiling pensively and then sighed. 

“For me more like– People in general. But yeah.” 

There was a minute of silence between the two. They weren’t close, but there is a comforting sense in confiding in people you don’t actually know. So, as Deo eyed her, giving her the push she needed to come clean with her thoughts, all she could think was why not?

“Not that I think all men are stupid… I mean sometimes they are, but—” Carolina started with a sigh. “This one…” she grunted in the end. Her knuckles turned white as she grabbed the bottle of whiskey. 

“What did he do?” Deo asked, her eyes sparkling as she made her way toward the tub. “We’ll get revenge together!” 

“He existed. That’s what he did.” 

The smaller girl glance at her quite confused but brushed it off quickly with a confident nod of her head. “I feel you.” she looked at the tub and then at the girl before her. She bit her lips. “Is… Tub relaxing better than regular relaxing?” but before Carolina could answer her question, she already had one foot inside, ready to take a sit too. “Let me get in there with you!” 

Carolina quickly found some space to fit her in as well, pulling her knees closer to her chest. “It’s definitely better to talk about what angers you or sort your thoughts. Try it– What’s troubling you?” 

They sat face to face, both hugging their knees so they could fit inside. Carolina still held the bottle, shaking it softly toward Deo as a silent question. The smaller girl refused it with a shake of her hand and a smile. 

“So,” she started while Carolina siped it instead. “The problem is that there’s this boy… And my friend– my like. My best friend likes him but he just pissed me off, you know?” Carolina nodded in understanding while she ranted about it. “He’s so weird and his head is always up in the clouds… It’s so annoying.” Deo rolled her eyes. 

“And… You like him? Or you hate him?” 

Deo looked at her fingers, fidgeting with her ring, not knowing what to answer. 

“Uh! I know! Or maybe you hate him but also like him.” Carolina added, straightening her back as she felt excited. 

“Even if I like him—and that’s a big if—it just wouldn’t work. I just got out of a relationship and the last thing I wanna do is get tied down again. Like–” Carolina saw as the girl before her sighed and slumped her shoulders. “Even today he reminded me of something I said yesterday when I was drunk. Who does that? I just don’t think we’d match.” 

“That sounds… Like an episode of the OC, bro… I don’t even know what to say, really.” Carolina looked down, trying to think. The only thing coming to her mind was now an image of Seth, one of the protagonists of the show. “Is he hot, though?” she gave Deo a cheeky look. 

“The crazy ones always are.” 

“Now that’s something I have to agree on. They are.” Carolina nodded her head confirming the girl’s theory. “Look at us for example.” 

“I take the compliment,” Deo snorts. “Don’t you, like, wish— sometimes only, of course, that you were a psycho? Just so you wouldn’t care? And you could murder someone? And not even feel guilty? Cause I can barely roll my eyes at my friends.” 

Carolina’s brows come together as she stares at the tile wall by her side, tilting her head. The conversation had taken a serious turn. She had to thank the girl in front of her somehow for making her forget the reason she had been so mad as she first came inside this bathroom. 

“Uhm…? Not really…?” the tall one answered pensively. “I already go at them if they piss me off so–” 

“How?” The question is vague but Deo looks aimlessly at the wall in front of her. “How do you piss them off without you getting pissed off first?” 

“Uh… I do get pissed that’s why I get back at them…?” Carolina wonders before chuckling. 

Deo laughs too, and why she doesn’t know. “Well,” she starts once the laughter subsides. “I think I need more drinks now,” she states, looking at Carolina’s bottle, and noticing how little there was left. “You coming?” she started to get up, glancing at the two-tone-haired girl. 

“I think I’ll stick around a little longer,” she says, stretching her legs to fill out the space Deo had left. “Thanks though! And good luck with the dreamy guy from the OC!” she chuckles, seeing the smaller friend by the door, ready to unlock it. 

“He’s not dreamy!” Deo shouts back with a playful smile on her face before closing the door behind her with a minor bang. 

Carolina is left there to look at the ceiling. Her eyes flutter and close. Her mind trails off to the fact she forgot to ask the petit girl’s name. She laughs alone, remembering their conversation. 

And then she snaps her eyes open. Chugging the rest of the content of the bottle as she remembers why she got there in the first place. 

Also on the top floor of the frat, looking for the bathroom, was Hyori. She had sadly missed her roommate for just a few minutes. 

When it came to parties like this, she was really shy and anxious, different from Hoseok who loved to meet new people and hold gatherings. She loved those, and she would drink the most, but only if it were between her and her friends. Like this—a party full of people she had never talked to before—was rather nerve-racking. 

She still attended them, mostly because her friends wouldn’t let her stay at the dorms by any means. But every time the jet-black-haired girl found herself surrounded by drunken people dancing along to the loud music, she realized that the dance floor wasn’t her thing. Hyori would much rather take her booze to somewhere more private. Normally, her eligible choice was the backyard, but sometime, when she was lucky enough, she would find a nice room. One with a window large enough so she could drink quietly while peeking at the moon. 

The rooftop was one of Hyori’s favorite spots to be at a party like the one happening right now. And as she opened door to door, searching for a bathroom so she could have a glance at herself in the mirror, she found her safe haven instead. After receiving many complaints from couples that forgot to lock themselves before diving into a more passionate business, she finally sighed in relief. 

The girl was a huge fan of the space and everything related to it. On busy nights, when people danced and tumbled around, she would always choose to stay there; sitting with her legs close to her chest, eyes fixed on the twinkling stars, her lonely drink in hand, and a lot on her mind. 

Everything felt perfectly in place. She closed her eyes with a wistful smile on her face. 

That was until she heard a loud thud coming from the door. She opened her eyes in a second, head snapping toward the sound. 

A boy’s head came into vision, and he froze, meeting her gaze. Hyori couldn’t exactly tell who it was because of the light until he spoke. “Uh– Sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt” 

Namjoon. 

She remembered his embarrassed tone from the previous night, on the backstage at the runway show. The smile returned to her face.

He mentioned closing the door again. “No!” Hyori protested hurriedly and he stopped in his tracks, peeking back at her. Suddenly the thought of him wanting to use the room for other purposes hit her and she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. “I– I can go. I’ll go so you can use the room–” 

As she started moving towards the window to get inside the house again, Namjoon got behind the door, getting inside rushed. He closed the door behind him and started waving his free hand. 

“No, no! It’s ok!” he explained hurriedly, his eyes nervously unfocused as he realized what she was implying by ‘using the room’. “I was just looking for my friend! Maybe you saw him?” 

Hyori stopped to look at him. Her legs waggled in the air as she sat on the windowsill facing him. 

“Maybe I was too distracted,” she chuckled shyly. “But uhm… I don’t think anybody came in.”

She saw Namjoon bite a smile down. “Tall, drunk… Maybe a tie wrapped on his head? He always does that.” It was his time to chuckle as he heard her laugh. “Taehyung is his name.” 

“Jimin’s friend?”

“Oh, shit. Yeah!” Namjoon said apologetically with a boyish grin. His free hand came to the back of his neck, rubbing it distractedly. “I forgot you know him.” They chuckled again. 

She nodded her head. “But no, sorry! I’d love to help but I really didn’t see him”, she noticed how his shoulders sank slowly. The thought of Namjoon searching for Taehyung around the frat for too long of a time crossed her mind. She felt silly, but she wished she could have helped him somehow. “But if I see him I’ll let him know you’re looking for him!”

He smiled, and she caught a glimpse of his dimple, carved on his skin just like the half moon shining brightly in the sky. 

“Thanks! That’s a big help!”, he said and they kept their eyes on each other. Normally silent situations made her uncomfortable but staring at his dark hazy eyes, the lack of dialogue seemed natural. She bit her lower lip intrigued. His eyes met the action. “Then– Uhm… I’ll go then.” He looked at her eyes again. “I really have to find him.” 

“Wait!” Hyori burst, before he could pass through the door he had already opened. 

“What should I do if I find him?” Hyori spoke fast and despite not being drunk, her speech came out slurry. “Should we set up a place to meet in like an hour or something?”

“Oh… of course!” Namjoon laughed shyly. Whatever had crossed his mind was long gone and his long shoulders were now relaxed. “What if… Hum… I can give you my number— We could exchange numbers?”

“Oh…” Hyori's slightly pouted lips made Namjoon feel butterflies in his stomach. “Good idea!”

Both pull out their phones at the same time and the struggle to find each other's free hand to make the exchange of the device would seem awkward to anyone watching. But there was no one there besides Hyori, Namjoon, and the moon. So she found it endearing and the boy ended up laughing right after a shy giggle left the smart girl's lips. 

With promises to text the other as soon as they found the tie deranged boy, they lingered on each other's stares before one going left and the other right, to the bottom floor, their hearts beating fast as if they had been running on adrenaline. 

Jungkook fishes his phone on the back of his trousers as he makes his way toward the entrance. He can see the first rays of sunshine hitting the windows and denouncing the party is in its last stages. And since the place is not so crowded anymore, he makes his way swiftly, phone in hand, ready to check up on Yoongi to see if he can score a ride home. 

Instead, his motions come to a halt, as he spots who he had been looking for all along. 

Carolina had her back to him, arms crossed as she looked to the side absentmindedly. The way she frowned as the sun came in contact with her eyes made him start walking again. A groovy tune fell from his lips in the form of a whistle as he came closer in a jolly mood. 

“There you are!” The smile on the boy’s lips goes all the way up to his eyes. “I know it’s already the day after, but I think you’re still in time to congratulate me on the big win.” 

The girl raises one eyebrow before he even comes into vision. She breathes deeply, and as he approaches her, a sarcastic smile is already shining on her lips. It had been ready for him. 

“Oh, so that’s how much importance I have in your life, huh?” she says with a feign cockiness, just to push his buttons. “Didn’t know you liked me that much, virgin boy” 

Carolina keeps looking ahead, too proud to spare him a glance. But he waits until she does, with a lack of response on his part. And as she turned her head to the side, to check if he was there and not just a mirage she made up in her mind, she caught herself staring at his big dark eyes. 

Only then does he answer, “Nah. I just wanted to rub the victory on your face” 

She snorts amused. 

There was an agreeable silence between the two. Jungkook looked expectantly at the two-tone-haired girl before him. She returned the gaze trying to decide what was going to be her next move. 

The thought of taking it easy for the first time ever since she started this bickering dance with him came to mind. But then again, the mean comments she once heard him share with Jennifer about herself had cut deeper than she had predicted. 

She pended her head to the side. “You won alright, but that doesn’t mean you played well. Your performance was poor, to say the least.” she rolled her eyes, clicking her tongue. Then she delivered the final blow. “Honestly disappointing.” 

Carolina observed how his jaw tensed at her comment and she had to force herself not to show how pleased she was with his discontent. 

Jungkook smirked. “I didn’t know you kept me in check like that” 

“Eunwoo is too nice to do the job, so–“ 

“Eunwoo–“ Jungkook snorted with laughter. His hands came to his hips and he turned around pacing. When he came face to face with her again, his face had already adopted a mad semblance. “I’m starting to believe that you’re doing this on purpose” he added fuming this time. 

That was the main problem between the two; whoever had a pair of eyes could see. They would always interpret differently what the other had said. 

“Doing what on purpose?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, somewhat confused. But Jungkook took it as a challenge. And he had been piling up until now too many situations to bother on not to burst. He wasn’t intending on holding back no longer. 

“You’re into Eunwoo too?!” he assumes more than he asks and she grins outraged. “What? Making out with my teacher wasn’t enough?”

Carolina was ready to laugh about his mistake over her snarky comment about Eunwoo, but she didn’t expect what came afterward. Her mouth opened and closed, piecing the information together. 

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah that’s right, Mr. Benjamin is my teacher,” he stated, index finger coming to hit his chest. She furrowed her brows, puzzled by the sudden information and even more by how he was reacting.

“And what does anything have to do with it?!” she burst. 

“I just don’t get it! What do you even see in the guy?!” 

“You’ve got to be kidding…” she chuckles, placing her hands on her hips and staring straight into his disappointed eyes. He crosses his arms waiting for an answer. 

“The question is what I don’t see in him” she spits and Jungkook feels his blood boil. He looks at some point by her shoulder before looking at her eyes again, tongue coming to poke the inside of his cheek. He exhales, doing everything possible to think straight. “And honestly, that’s very rich of you– ‘Cause Jennifer is superb” she snaps. 

He blinks. The urge of shaking her hard by the shoulders to make her understand his reasoning flashes before his eyes. Instead, Jungkook stays still, his chest moving up and down like he’s restraining himself. His hands halt before reaching her face from each side, fingers curling into fists the second after, in a nervous outbreak. He grunts impatiently. Her eyes never leave his face, unafraid, and mostly, daring. 

“What Jen–“ he starts. 

“Oh save it!” Carolina snaps again. “I hate to say something like this about someone but I feel like her purpose range goes to making out sessions only. I doubt you both ever talked about something other than demeaning other people—which disgusts me by the way. So fucking shut it with Ben. He’s great to make out? Yes, the fucking best but unlike your Kardashian over there he actually has a brain.” 

Jungkook clicks his tongue. And Carolina doesn’t know if it is the light breeze that hits them or the angered state he is in, but his eyes are glossy. 

“HE’S MY TEACHER FOR FUCKS SAKE! YOU’RE MAKING OUT WITH MY TEACHER.” Jungkook didn’t bother anymore if someone could hear them. And he dared to say that he would like it if that was the case. 

He wasn’t close with the girl in front of him, nor did he think of her as a friend, or even a colleague, but he hated every second of her relationship with his substitute teacher. He couldn’t tell why it bothered him so much but It was crawling under his skin and he just wanted it over with. 

“How do you think that makes me feel?” he asked with a tilt of his head, in a pouty manner. His eyes were angrier than she had ever seen. 

But he didn’t have the time to receive an answer, as for the second he asked, they saw a group approach them, snapping their gazes at their figures. 

Taehyung had his arms wrapped around both Namjoon and Jin’s necks. Yoongi came right behind them with his phone in his ear, and suddenly Jungkook’s phone began to ring. Everyone stopped for a second. 

“Are we going already?” Hoseok came out of the front door and Jungkook saw the rest of his group by the front lawn looking both at him and Carolina awkwardly. 

Hoseok looked from one to another, trying to grasp why the mood was so dreadful. He even whispered at Deo and Hyori, but the shortest one nudged at him with a sympathetic look on her face. 

Jungkook’s phone stopped ringing as Yoongi’s hand came down with the device, locking it. 

The tension was palpable as Carolina didn’t move by his side. He didn’t need to look at her to see what was going on, as in front of them, Taehyung pierced her with his gaze. His eyebrows were furrowed, eyes drowning in confusion and—as Jungkook could discern—disappointment. 

“What?” the drunken boy breathes. 

“Tae–” Carolina tries as the trio comes closer to them. 

Taehyung eyes her for brief seconds and the look she has on her face suggests that what he had heard was true and not just some mean gossip invented by the volley player fidgeting by her side. He knew her far too well to know when she was trying to come up with excuses. 

“I think I’m gonna be sick” he has time to say before taking one hand out from Namjoon’s shoulder to place it on top of his stomach. Jin’s face contorts in disgust but he still offers the stability his drunken friend needs. 

Jimin rushedly leaves both girls who had been cuddling by his side, being shielded from the breeze that welcomed the new morning, to go help his roommate. But he isn’t quick enough. 

Taehyung mentions retching and as soon as he does so, Carolina grabs Jungkook by the arm, pulling him closer. The boy stumbles, trying to take a questioning glance at her over his shoulder. Before he manages to do it, his black boots are covered with vomit. 

“I hope that’s leather,” Yoongi comments trivially as Jin holds a pale Taehyung by the shoulders, looking to the side as he mentions vomiting as well. 

© #fighton! | all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim as your own. if you find this work elsewhere besides the three blogs stated, please report it to any of the writers.

@singguks × @socksjinie × @bluenpjm

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1, 6,9,25 for the violence ask game

1. The character everyone gets wrong.

First character that quickly came to mind is Izuku Midoriya. I'm sorry, but some of the things I have seen some people say about him SUCKS.

"He's such a crybaby." You bet not be a fan of any Shonen protagonist or a side character you think is ever because more than once they have cried their ass off, too. The crying gag ain't nothing new, so stop.

"He's too nice."

This is the same kid is willing to punch the shit out of people. Hell, most of the time, he's just sick of the bullshit going around him.

Other than Midoriya, Present Mic also comes to mind. I'm sorry, he's not dumb, irresponsible or even all that silly. He can be a goof, but it's along the lines of "I'm an outgoing person". Same man who correctly states that there had to be a traitor at UA. Same man who teaches an English class, has to do announcements, runs a radio show...

6. Which ship fans are the most annoying?

Not more so the ship, but the people that annoys me. Like a person can also like the same ship as me, but it doesn't stop me from being annoyed by them if they do something. Example, I will never understand the whole "top/bottom" thing and the top gotta be the provider and the bottom does chores and whatnot.

Oh, what, the top in the bedroom can't be the one to do the household chores and the bottom is the provider?

I think the "top/bottom" thing should just be for takes in the bedroom and not determine the household roles. I have more to say but I don't want to drag this out longer or bore anyone today.

9. Worst part of canon.

Okay, for JJK, there's only three things I'm iffy about so far but not really and this could change, you never know. SPOILERS AHEAD.

One is Yuji and Kenjaku not having more interactions since Shibuya. Kenjaku may truly be dead and that would suck because I wished for just one more interaction between those two.

Two is Nobara not having been in the story since Shibuya. Now I know it's believed she is dead, but until the manga is over I ain't believing it. Hell, I hope she makes a return before Gojo (possibly) does. She deserves to kick some more ass.

The third is Uro. I miss her so much and I just think she deserves to return to and kick ass. I'll be honest, I adore Yuta but I did not care to see him use her technique. I didn't. I hated that the ending of the Uro v. Ryu v. Yuta fight. The latter two talk about Uro while she's offscreen knocked out somewhere. Call me petty but I was glad to see Ryu got killed.

25. Common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing.

BONES, don't release any more trailers for season 7 because some of the fandom acts as if the blue sky is the worst thing in the world as if it hadn't been a thing since season 1 or that maybe it's ironic that the worst things happen when the sky is clear (I have had bad days when the weather is beautiful, it makes me feel worse because it's like 'I should have a good day'). Or that if one pays attention to the trailer, the sky does change color. The blue sky ain't permanent.

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