#and Anakin is just down horrendous (as he should be)

[querldyke]

The best thing about Alliances is seeing how Anakin and Padmé think about each other and how their romance is written in a way that doesn’t turn Padmé into a damsel

[hotpinkboots]

HEHEHEHEEEEE HELLO, DO YOU DO BREAK UPS? This is gonna sound SO deranged but may i please get an Anakin x reader where the reader TOTALLY breaks up with him one day?? I'm talking REALLY mean rejection, the most evil thing you can come up with. I dont know why I promise I'm not insane I'm not sure what excites me about this I'M SORRY 😭

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~𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓢𝓴𝔂𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓮𝓻 x Reader: Breakup Headcanons~

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AHAHAHA I LOVE YOU THIS IS NUTS OMG

MAKE BABY SUFFER >:))) I decided to do not only headcanons, but also a mini-oneshot with it because it adds to the misery

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝓐𝓷𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷 𝓢𝓴𝔂𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓴𝓮𝓻

★★★★

~Oh, he's so in love with you.

~So devoted, so doting over you, so cuddly, so sweet.

~...But you clearly aren't in the same boat.

~When you start becoming annoyed with him, he will try even harder to make you happy. You're all he desires. All he wants, all he needs- you're his oxygen, he'd suffocate without you.

~You think he's even MORE annoying now that he's desperately trying to make you happy.

~One night, he'll bring it up and ask you if you're happy. Ask you what you need so he can make it happen.

~You've had the last straw.

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"Anakin, knock it off."

He paused mid-sentence, looking down at you with slight surprise in his eyes- eyes that were still bright just for you.

"What's wrong..?" Anakin frowned at your annoyed expression. He felt his chest grow tight. Why were you looking at him like that? He hated when leople looked at him like that. That was the look of annoyance and disappointment. That was the look of pure frustration on your face.

"You're trying too hard. It's annoying. No offense, but I can't stand to wake up to you every morning anymore. You go off on these... cheesy monologues everyday about me. It's getting old."

Anakin's face dropped, his brows furrowed slightly, his eyes becoming glossy with tears. Was he too clingy? Maybe he was. But he just loved you so much, what did you expect when you're the most perfect thing to exist?

"...I'm sorry...I can- I can stop-" Anakin stuttered out, his voice failing, his breath catching in his throat painfully.

You rolled your eyes and slapped a hand over your forehead. "No, Anakin, I mean I'm sick of it- as in DONE? You're obsessed with me. It's uncomfortable. I feel like you're always an emotional wreck, I can't keep getting dragged down into whatever pit of despair you're constantly in. I'm sorry, but I can't deal with you anymore."

Anakin looked like an injured puppy waiting for somebody to help him. Warm tears ran down those soft cheeks that you once used to kiss. He felt physical pain in his heart, a pain that caused his hand to shakily clutch his chest in agony. Anakin's throat felt constricted, and a soft whimper of pain escaped his kissable lips.

"(Y/N)..." Anakin breathed out painfully, his lips pulling down into a deep frown- the type of frown that one simply could not hide, the type of frown that forced it's way into someone's face no matter how hard they tried to hide it. He wanted to shout at you, he wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He just felt this horrendously painful feeling in his body that made him feel both physically and mentally sick.

Had he really put all of his issues on you like that? Had he really been so clingy that it ended up pushing you away in the end? Were you just fed up with his personality...? Were you not attracted to him? For a moment, he thought of any way shape or form he could change for you. Would you love him if he looked entirely different? What did you dislike about him? Was it the prosthetic arm? Would you love him if he acted the opposite of his personality? Why couldn't he hide his problems? You should only be happy. You deserve happiness, not to be weighed down by him. He was a burden.

He was always a burden.

No matter where he went or what he did, he would always be a burden.

He could never be good enough for anybody.

"How...how can I make you love me again?" Anakin asked brokenly, his hand twitching as if he wished to hold yours, and he even instinctively reached forward to hold you. He stopped when he saw the uncomfortable, almost grossed out expression on your face when he reached for you. Anakin felt like he was drowning.

You looked him in the eye, your voice sounding unimpressed in your next statement.

"You can't."

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~He is going to be completely ruined for a VERY long time. No one can get him out of bed. No one can motivate him.

~He couldn't even if he wanted to. He was in the state of mind where focusing would not be possible. In fact, he'd probably cause far more danger on a mission than help with it.

~Anakin tries to be angry at you, but he only becomes angry at himself.

~Beats himself up about it, wondering what he could have done to make you happy, wondering why you didn't love him, or even like him for that matter.

~It makes the process of him turning to the dark even quicker.

~He only gets annoyed and angry when somebody tries telling him the usual, "Be mindful of your feelings, Anakin" advice. He's been hearing that everyday of his life. He's sick of it.

~Anakin is completely lost in the dark. He feels dead. He has no motivation. He feels unwanted, he feels like everybody hates him and is just secretly annoyed by his very existence.

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WHOAHOHOOO I LOVE WRITING ANGST :DD

Okay now someone request with happy baby boy because he deserves to be happy and loved 🥺💜

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Request Guidelines!

Fandom Masterlists! (Currently under construction (March 23rd 2023) because none of the links work. Nice job Tumblr.)

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Discord Server! Here you can roleplay with and as your favorite characters, get updates on my fanfiction, and get sneak peaks for my upcoming videogames!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

[sainamoonshine]

Okay so I have watched like, three Avatar live action episodes so far and here are some quick thoughts on it. (Spoiler alert this is a positive post, negativity DNA unless you want to make me sad)

- Right off the bat it should be noted that my standards for good tv / movies are pretty low these days. Due to the general state of tv / movies, I have been forced to place the bar of acceptability at « I can see what is happening on the screen and the character’s costumes have colours ». NATLA passes both criterias with flying — well, colours.

- Secondly I actually like the way the show handles the character arcs. I feel like people who are complaining just noticed that they changed or toned down some aspects of the character arcs, and were so angry that they straight up stopped paying attention instead of noticing all the new and nuanced things that were added in. Every character is getting an interesting and intriguing storyline, they just don’t look exactly the same as in the original. If that makes you froth at the mouth, may I suggest not watching any adaptation ever maybe? Because huh that’s kind of what adaptations do.

- Unfortunately the pacing is kinda clunky and some of the dialogue is irritating, especially the recurrent thing where a character who would usually prefer to die before speaking about their feelings — or wouldn’t have the emotional maturity to even realize what they are feeling — just turn to the camera and loudly announce « I am feeling this thing! ». However, those two issues are obviously a result of not enough episodes. They had to cram A LOT in eight episodes and that is Netflix’s fault, not the showrunner’s. With eight episodes they basically had the choice between not having the time to properly « show not tell » and therefore having to cut out the character’s more subtle emotional states entirely, or try to work in conversations and monologues in which the characters just straight up say things to each other. So you get Aang telling Appa he’s scared of being the avatar and Zuko actually admitting out loud that he has hope that he might get to go home. It is what it is.

- They clearly ran out of money for wigs tho. Gran-gran’s wig is horrendous and the only thing I cannot forgive.

- Aside from some clunky pacing and gran-gran’s wig tho, everything else has slapped so far. Sokka is PERFECT. Suki was great too. Sad that they didn’t put Sokka in the full Kyoshi warrior getup but it does create an unintentionally hilarious moment where the kyoshi people are all like « um no we don’t have any outsiders in our village, no sir mister fire soldier » and meanwhile this idiot is just standing there all dressed in BLUE

- Aang is also perfect. Zuko is perfect. Katara is doing that thing where you bottle up all your anger inside and never make it anyone else’s problem and just keep smiling and being nice and polite and then you die, which unfortunately seems to make people think she just has no anger? Lmao okay.

- the cgi was hit and miss in the first episode but then got a lot better

- the fight choreographies are ON POINT OMG

- I didn’t remember why I didn’t like Jet (forgor most of his arc in the show) but just remembered I didn’t like him, which made for an interesting ep 3 viewing experience lol

- also Kevin from supernatural?????

- would prefer it if my husband stopped saying « okay Anakin! 🙄 » every time someone gets set on fire but I think that might just be an issue in my household

[echos-newlegs]

Hello again! I'm here to fullfill my promise of asking for a Rex one based on your prompt list, especially excited after the beautiful work you did with the Tech one <3 So how about 46 for our Captain? I had thought of a Jedi!Reader situation, bit it's up to you really, just have fun!!

Double Trouble

Ahh thank you, I'm always open for writing for my boy Rex 🥺 send as many asks as you want m'dudes 😌💕 but thank you sm, that means a lot tbh!

Rex x Jedi!Reader: "Isn't it illegal?" "I mean, probably?"

Warnings: slight angst? No established relationship. Y’all just like each other. Anakin teasing you and Rex.

Word count: 1.9k

“You’ll never get what you want from us.” Rex spat as you stood in the corner of the room, strapped up to a machine. Grievous only laughed at that. His gravely, robotic voice echoing threw your ears. It annoyed you more than anything. How he seemed to think he could get the whereabouts of your base from you and the captain. “Oh, I don’t expect them to crack, clone.” He mocked. Leaning into Rex’s space. The Captain keeping his ground. “Why do you expect I would?” He snapped, and that made him laugh again.

He only tittered as he walked between the two of you. “It doesn’t take a Jedi to sense a connection between the two of you. I saw the way you tried to save the General over here.” He mused with a sigh. “It’s orders, to save the Jedi.” Grievous shook his head, hands resting behind his back. “No, not like this. General Tano got hurt and you cared, but not like when they get hurt. What are they to you? Do you really think a Jedi could love a clone like you?” He taunted, Rex darting his eyes down.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. A habit you often found yourself doing due from hanging around the 104th most days. “You’re wasting time, Rex and I are merely friends, I’m not even his General. I serve another Battalion under the watch of General Plo, you’d think after all our encounters you’d know this, droid.” You drew out the last name with a smirk. Though that smirk quickly faded when you felt your body begin to tingle. A surge of electricity shooting through you that had your fists and jaw clenching. Eyes shooting open and then closed as you arched your back with a shriek.

“Stop it you’re hurting her!” Rex screamed as he fought against his restraints to get to you. Grievous was right, Rex felt attached to you. You could even say he loved you, but he would never admit to it. He only hid back the feelings— Which seemed to only make them worse.

Grievous hummed in amusement. Stopping the shock. Watching as your body went limp. “Your attitude never seems to change, General. You hang around Skywalker too much.” He wasn’t wrong, between hanging around Skywalker and Wolffe your attitude was horrendous. “You say that each time we meet.” You scoffed, shooting a glare up to the general.

“Now, if you want your Jedi to live, you’ll tell me where the base is.” You didn’t want Rex to tell, but you knew he would crack at this rate. Not only the stress of the war was on his shoulders, but you could sense how he felt about you. You were quite fond of it, until now. Realizing it was a weakness on both ends. Rex was a good friend of yours, and you admired everything about him, but this? This worried you, if maybe you should have distanced yourself like your consciousness told you to a month ago.

“I won’t,” Rex said, after catching your look of worry. “Not to Seppie Scum like you,” He spat. You gave him a small, worrisome smile as he gave you an apologetic look. ‘It’s okay,’ You mouthed to the Captain as another surge shot threw your system. Voice straining as you screamed. You could feel the tremors run in and out of your body. Gasping for air as you fought to keep your body functioning. Then it all went dark.

Rex panicked when you went limp. His eyes shooting wide. Tugging at the restraints as he let out a choked cry. “General!” He exclaimed, and Grievous let out a cackle. “How interesting, A clone and a Jedi.” He scoffed. Leaning close to Rex. “I would have never guessed.”

When you woke up you were on the cold floor. Body sore and stiff. Your throat felt like it was in flames. Rex holding you in his arms. Noticing this as your vision cleared. “Am I dead?” You spoke hoarsely, with a crooked smile. Rex smiled softly, glad to see you still had your sense of humor. “Thankfully, no,” You sighed, which hurt even more than breathing. “Did he get anything from you?” He shook his head ‘no.’ You nodded, moving to sit up. The captain helps you up to lean against him and the wall. “Do you think anyone’s looking for us?” You asked, and Rex nodded. “For you? I’m sure Plo and Anakin have everyone searching far and wide.” He added as you lean your head against his shoulder.

He smiled faintly, your hair tickling his neck a bit, though he kept his hands to himself. He had to remind himself as you dozed off again that you were doing this because you were hurt. You wouldn’t lean on him any other time. This meant nothing.

Rex was right. The moment that General Plo got word that your mission with the 501st went south he and Anakin were racing to make a plan— a semi chaotic one. With an equal amount of quick decisions and thorough thinking between the two. You were like Anakin's little sibling, he wasn’t about to let you spend any more time with the Seps than you had to.

When you woke up again you were being nudged awake by Rex. Sirens were blaring and droids were running too and fro. “General, I believe our rescue is here.” Rex spoke. That got you smiling. Helping yourself off the floor as he pulled you up. “How are we getting out?” You asked, but it seemed the moment you did a droid was approaching your cell. “You’re being transferred, both of you.” The news made the two of you give each other a glance. Almost as if the undiscussed plan was working itself out in front of you. “Is that so?” Rex asked as the door opened and the droid approached you both with restraints. Once close enough Rex took the opportunity to attack.

Once the droid was practically dismembered and the Captain now held his blaster. It gave you the opportunity to realize you had no saber, or cloaks, and Rex was stripped of his armor and weapons. Left in only his boots and blacks. “What’s the plan, General?” He asked, and you groaned as you stretched. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d like my lightsaber back.” He smiled at that, “I think I know where they stored them, too.”

The two of you take off down the hallway as quick as you can manage. You attempt to fight the pains shooting up your leg as you clung to the captain for dear life. His hand rubbing your side here and there. Though you thought nothing of it.

“There,” he stated.

He pointed over to a doorway a droid just exited. “They stopped us here, took our weapons and armor and took them through there.” He nearly whispered in your ear.

You pondered, thinking of what you could do. Until you got an idea. “Let’s go over there, then.” You spoke. Watching as he furrowed his brows at you. “General,” “that’s an order.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. Helping you over to the doorway.

You hacked into the system. Opening it with a breeze. Something Anakin taught you along the way. The two of you squeezing into the storage room. Spotting your lightsaber in almost an instant. “We need to be quick, Captain.” You informed him as you lean against the wall. Hooking your holster to your hips. Pulling on your robes and some of your other items that were taken.

You looked over, watching as Rex made quick work of his armor. Your eyes dragging over his form a bit too long. “General, everything alright?” You thought he was oblivious to your actions. Until you saw him nervously rub the back of his neck. You couldn’t see the blush that his tan skin hid, but you could feel it. He was nervous in a sense, and you thought it was adorable.

You smiled, shaking your head. “All is good, now let’s get out of here.”

He nodded at your comment. Holding his blaster with one hand, and you with the other. “Captain,” you spoke, and he looked over to you. Watching you as your eyes scanned the room. “How much do you trust me?” You asked, holding up some detonators.

His eyes fell onto them. Lips turning up into a smirk. “With my life,” “good.” You spoke. Looking from his eyes to his lips. The two of you share a lingering stare.

“You guys are painful to watch, just kiss already.” A familiar voice speaking from in front of the two of you. “Miss me?” Anakin spoke as you and Rex caught his form. “Not one bit,” you quipped. Making Rex have to bite the inside of his cheek to hide a chuckle. “I know you did. Don’t lie, now, whatcha doing with those detonators?” He asked, and you smirked. Holding one between your fingers. “Blowing this bad boy up, of course.” “You got my attention.”

Anakin knew you wanted to blow something up. You and Hardcase were known for having that destructive personality. Rex honestly loved how you seemed to bond with each one of his brothers in some way or another. They all loved how for a Jedi, you were nothing like one. You were different, in big ways and they loved it.

Anakin ordered Rex to take you back to the rescue ship anyways with your condition. They needed to run once the detonators were set, and well— you weren’t in any condition to be running. You understood though.

You watched from the cockpit once Anakin returned as the ship blew. Grievous had escaped, as per usual. But you destroyed one more of his ships, successfully. “He’s gotta hate you by now.” Anakin commented, and you snickered. Still using Rex to lean on. “Isn’t it illegal?” He asked, and you looked up to him. Watching as his eyes fell to yours. His lips so close to your own. “How many ships of his you’ve destroyed.” He joked, his voice lowering a bit. You smirked, shrugging. “I mean, probably? But since he’s a Sep it doesn’t count. Double negative, that’s how it works, right?” Rex snorted, rolling his eyes. His hand absentmindedly snaking around your waist. “Sure.”

You were on cloud nine. The affection was euphoric, but leave it to Anakin to ruin a moment. “So what’s going on here?” He asked, and Rex looked at him with a shocked expression. As if he forgot he was there. Removing his arm from you as you pushed back from him a bit. “What do you mean?” Rex asked, and you played with the end of your sleeves. “I don’t have to be a Jedi to sense the tension between you two, are you..” he trailed off. Looking back and forth between the two of you. “Screw—“ Rex nearly choked and your face heated up to a max. Both your eyes going wide. “What? No! No, Makers no—“ you corrected, but that wasn’t enough for him.

“Then Rex, buddy, you need to do something and make a move. Y/n won’t, and I won’t tell anyone.” Walking past the Captain, patting his shoulder. “You’d make a cute couple, I could see it now.” You were going to kill Anakin when the ship landed, it was final.

[starkskypines]

hold on hope

Angstpril Day 16: Holding on too tight

Word Count: 1.7k

Fandom: Star Wars 

this is the first chapter of a larger au where things break, but a little differently and there’s hope for a happy ending :)))

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read on ao3

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Anakin burns, inside and out. There’s fire in his veins, begging for release. He stalks forward, blue lightsaber shining bright in contrast against the reds and yellows and oranges of lava. He can hear the hiss of molten lava moving around the platform; he can smell the heat and smoke. He can’t see himself, but he knows he looks powerful, unstoppable. This is as it should be. All is about to be made right by him. He’s already saved the Republic, and now he’s only got to save Padmé. But there’s one more enemy to face. One he can’t turn to his side.

“Anakin! This isn't you,” Obi-Wan shouts in one last desperate attempt to make Anakin see reason. But Anakin is already reasonable. It’s Obi-Wan that won’t listen. It’s Obi-Wan that has betrayed him. It’s Obi-Wan that is trying to stop him from having everything he deserves. because Obi-Wan is selfish and uncaring.

He gives Obi-Wan one last chance because if Obi-Wan can see reason then he can be turned. He can join Anakin. If Obi-Wan lets loose, he would make such a great Sith. And really he doesn’t even have to go dark if he can stop being stubborn enough to see that Anakin is ending the war. Anakin is doing the thing that Obi-Wan has strived for, and Obi-Wan could be a part of it. “If you’re not with me, then you’re my enemy.”

Obi-Wan’s expression falls into sorrow, maybe resignation. Anakin’s not sure. He’s never been able to figure out Obi-Wan’s expressions enough to say for certain. “Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.”

Hate bubbles up in Anakin. Why can’t Obi-Wan just understand? Why does he have to make it a fight? Obi-Wan and his stupid blind devotion to the Jedi. “You will try.”

And Anakin strikes, blue blade against blue blade. Obi-Wan is his equal in battle, but Obi-Wan is weakened by his dependence on the light side. The dark fuels Anakin, gives him power and focus. Rage bends the Force to his will, and he drives Obi-Wan back.

Obi-Wan gives ground, forced to retreat back inside the building. Anakin is more familiar with the layout of the Mustafar buildings, and he’s already snuck into this specific one to kill the Separatist leaders. He can drive Obi-Wan into a corner and finish this.

Blue clashes together over and over again and neither man gives way, neither makes the slightest mistake because to do so is to court death. Or maybe they’ve been courting it all along and this is the inevitable conclusion to their dance.

It hangs heavy in the air around them. Someone will die by the end of this fight. Someone will be left to burn on the fiery world. Anakin will not let it be him. He has too much to live for. He will not let Obi-Wan take him away from Padmé.

He slices in a downward arc, and Obi-Wan ducks out of the way, bringing his saber up to block Anakin’s next blow. They repeat the parries and feints that they learned in the same temple. They use the same blocks and blows that they refined on the same battlefields.

Anakin forces Obi-Wan farther and farther back until they’re outside on the other end of the building. The battle has raged too long, and Anakin has not seemed to tire Obi-Wan at all. That man’s blasted Jedi serenity. Anakin draws deeper into the Force, reaching out and gripping it tightly in his palm. He bends and molds it to his will. He will vanquish his enemy because the Force is his weapon.

He wrenches the platform they stand on up into the smokey air with a horrendous screech and curls the edges up and then down. There’s nowhere for Obi-Wan to run now. There’s no escape. There is only inevitable death for this traitorous Jedi.

By the widening of Obi-Wan’s eyes, he knows it too. Anakin relishes the fear that the Jedi radiates. It feeds his own growing power. Like this he can almost taste the victory, the blood that the dark hungers for him to spill, the victory of Padmé alive and well.

And Force, how alive she feels now, like she’s right there. Like she’s at his side. It’s the future Anakin will have for them even if he has to rip the stars from the sky and burn entire planets.

“Anakin.” Her voice is too real and Anakin turns. There she is standing behind him, red and brown robes wrapped around her, hands at her side, tears in her brown eyes. “Ani, my love.”

“Padmé.” Anakin sends Obi-Wan flying back to crash against the wall, it’s not enough to knock him unconscious–a mistake Anakin recognizes, but he moves toward Padmé anyway. He can deal with Obi-Wan later. The fumes and flames of Mustafar are no place for his pregnant wife. “What are you doing here? It’s not safe.”

“Master?” It’s spoken in a horrified tone that Anakin has only heard from Ahsoka once before when she looked across the battlefield at fourteen to ruination and mutilated bodies.

“Ahsoka, what–”

Ahsoka’s blue eyes turn to his and for the first time, he feels shame. He beats the feeling back. He’s nothing to be ashamed for. He’s doing as the Force wills. He’s fulfilling his destiny. “Ahsoka, you’re here.”

“Anakin, what have you done?” Her gaze falls to where Obi-Wan is behind him.

Anakin isn’t sure if that Ahsoka won’t take Obi-Wan’s side in this matter. She’s like him with her sense of morals. But she’s like Anakin with her sense of justice, of fighting at all costs to save the ones you love. “He’s a traitor.”

“Obi-Wan?” Padmé asks. “No. Anakin, no.”

Anakin turns to her. He can explain it to them both and then they’ll understand. They’ll understand why he’s right, and why Obi-Wan cannot be allowed to stop him. “Padmé.” he smiles and reaches for her. She flinches back. He frowns.

“Do you even see yourself? You��re not–your eyes.” She swallows, tears in her own eyes, and Anakin can’t understand why. “So it’s true then.” Her gaze falls back to where Anakin can sense Obi-Wan pushing to his feet. “You…you’ve changed.”

He feels a thrill that even she–a Force null–can sense the change in him. He feels different, powerful, out of control but in a good way. “I’m doing it to protect you. I have to make sure you’re safe.”

“Anakin, they’re just dreams. I’m not going to die.”

“Not anymore. I won’t let you.” He continues to draw on the Force around him. On the dark swirls that feed him with energy, enough energy to protect Padmé and the life inside her.

“Anakin, you can’t protect Padmé like this. This isn’t the way.”

Anakin turns with a snarl on Obi-Wan.

“Shut up.” He throws Obi-Wan back, but there’s a force pushing against his that catches Obi-Wan and cushions what should’ve been a back-breaking slam into the wall, making it something that only knocks him out of breath.

He turns on Ahsoka. “You don’t understand. Obi-Wan’s the enemy, a traitor.”

“He didn’t order the clones to march on the Jedi Temple.” Her outstretched hand is still shaking though there’s no Force flowing through her. Her blue eyes are filled with tears. Anakin doesn’t kriffing understand why everyone is crying. Can’t they see he’s making things right? “He didn’t betray the clones’ free will. He’s not a slave driver.”

Anakin roars and the Force spasms out in tendrils of biting anger. Padmé reels back in pain, and Ahsoka catches her in her arms.

“Anakin, please.” Padmé gasps out, and Anakin tries to bring himself under control. He grasps at the Force and wrenches it back to him. It’s more difficult than it should be. The Force is a wiggling tooka in his hands and he can’t get it to be still.

“I am not a slaver scum,” he grinds out.

Ahsoka steadies Padmé before stepping in front of her. “The clones have no free will. You let Sidious activate their slave chips and did nothing.” Her hand is clasped around both of her sabers, the sabers that he just gave her. The ones he found crystals for. The ones he cared for until he saw her again. The memory of those sabers sitting on a shelf in his room combined with her words gives him pause.

“Slave chips?” She’s wrong. She’s lying. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She can’t because there’s no way the clones are slaves. They’re on his side. They understand why he had to do what he did.

“The ones in the clones’ heads, so they can’t say no.” Anakin could always tell when Ahsoka’s lying and he wants to say she’s lying now. He’s desperate to believe that she is. She has to be.

“Did you stop to question why they agreed to kill Jedi they spent two years alongside? They didn’t have a choice,” her voice raises in anger.

“That’s not true. You lie.” Anakin will not let it be true. It simply has to be a lie. He pulls on the Force, but can only hear the truth of Ahsoka’s words. What earlier felt like caresses of the darkness, seductive and sweet, are now claws, scratching and cutting. Anakin pulls on the Force tighter. The darkness will sustain him. He has to trust it.

“Anakin, I’ve never lied to you. I’m not Obi-Wan. I’m not the Jedi. I’m your friend. You have to believe me. I only want what’s best for you and for Padmé and this is not it. Can’t you feel it, Master?”

He looks at her as the realization hits. The dark side of the Force surrounds him, but it’s not comforting him. It’s pointed daggers at himself and everyone he loves, and he’s holding on too tight to them. Holding on too tight to the Force, to Ahsoka, to Padmé, to everything he loves. He almost killed Padmé like this, through the dark. He thinks of how Obi-Wan is always letting go, letting go, and hurting him, but at least he’s never almost killed him, even now. Maybe it’s time to try a page from his book. Maybe letting go is holding on or maybe holding on is letting go. Maybe Anakin just doesn’t want to lose his family and maybe if he lets go he can hold on.

“Let go, Anakin,” Ahsoka’s voice calls out, and Anakin does. He falls and lets the darkness take him.

[cosmicmordecai]

Windu in fandom vs canon

Things I hear people say about Mace Windu:

“Mace Windu is one of, if not, the MAIN reason Anakin fell to the dark side” 

“He’s barely a character” 

“Mace is just arrogant and bland Jedi. Him and Ki-Adi Mundi are the very personifications o what Jedi had become during the end of the Republic; close minded and full of hubris” 

Too many people comment about how he was SooOOOooo dismissive of Boba for killing his father. 

He’s so mean to Anakin so there must be a reason why; he’s just jealous that Anakin is the Chosen One and he isn’t. 

Hates Ahskoka because reasons?

Things that Mace Windu actually is:

Actually is much more caring and has to find a balance between being the leader of the Jedi Order and being himself; Depa Billaba is his weakness in the fact she’s the daughter he could never have. (Legends but still)

Has compassion (i.e Clones, Zilo Beast, Twi’leks on Ryloth). He’s far from a fucking robot just because he doesn’t hesitate to sass your favorites.

Jango Fett was LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL him and he got decapitated and was presenting a clear threat that enabled him to kill Jedi Masters. 

On that, he actually tried negotiating lighter terms for Boba Fett as revealed in Star Wars: Scum and Villainy: Case Files on the Galaxy’s Most Notorious. 

Is an ELECTED Master of the Jedi Order, which apparently requires  unanimous votes. That makes him leader of the Jedi High Council and VERY HIGHLY RESPECTED. In-universe, he was valued. He doesn’t need to be jealous of little ole Anakin when he’s old enough to be his dad.

He was literally right to be suspect of Anakin and bold to remove Palpatine: Anakin ends up betraying him for SELFISH REASONS, Palpatine was TOO DANGEROUS to be kept alive and presented a CLEAR ASS THREAT LIKE TEN SECONDS BEFORE AND WAS OBVIOUSLY FAKING THE FACT HE COULDN’T FIGHT MORE AND HE WAS THAT WEAK. Also, he confessed to Anakin, a GENERAL of the Grand Army Republic himself, that he the Sith Lord they been looking for. If you’re a damn suspect for initiating a damn war, being ARRESTED is THE ACTUAL APPROPRIATE step and Palaptine instead tries to claim its TREASON despite already confessing anyway. And then he murders two members of the Jedi High Council and attempts murder on Windu. Even with all the flaws of ROTS, Windu himself was CAREFUL. 

In conclusion:

Stop coming up with made up reasons to hate Windu while un-ironically trying to pit his character for all the pitfalls and failings of the Jedi Order on him. Windu is a flawed human character who is actually way more compassionate than fandom gives him. 

It gets fucking tiring seeing one of the only PoC characters in the damn franchise always get dragged through the mud because he’s not kissing all the fucking favorite character’s asses, even If I love their asses to death and back. It’s very annoying to see people come up with stupid assessments on his character but infantilize Anakin Skywalker’s issues and blame it on the Jedi Order in which accumulated to horrendous atrocities that makes him a very tragic, intimidating, and a disgraceful all at the same time. Anakin’s issues is very complex but he should he held accountable for his actions. (And no, I don’t believe in this “That was Darth Vader” b.s.) 

And finally, stop trying to put the character down for his tactlessness when dealing with teenagers and/or children while defending a character that ends up doing far worse as Darth Vader. He WAS conflicted about the whole issue with Ahsoka but he IS a Master of the Jedi Order and in a position of leadership. And he actually tried negotiating a lighter sentence for Boba DESPITE HIM TRYING TO ASSASSINATE HIM. 

Goodness. Can Mace Windu be held in the same regard others characters get where y’all have some damn nuance about the characters?  

[jasontoddiefor]

Summary: Sometimes your best friend calls you at 3 am because his citizenship isn’t valid anymore, his marriage not legally acknowledged, and he kind of needs to marry you so he isn’t kicked out of the country. A comedy of errors in which Obi-Wan, Anakin and Padmé don't take the long road to becoming a family, but certainly the most complicated one. Marriage of convenience, ObiAniDala style.

Read on AO3!

It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you

- Bruno Mars, Marry You

There were many things Obi-Wan didn’t expect at 3 am, such as somebody breaking into his house, which was possible but unlikely, or the apocalypse finally starting, which was impossible and unlikely. Mostly, he didn’t expect anything because he had grown out of his wild university student years and went to bed at reasonable hours so he was fast asleep at 3 am.

However, panicked calls from Anakin Skywalker were kind of normal.

Not that they should be, but they happened much more frequently than Obi-Wan cared to admit. Whether Anakin was fifteen or twenty-five, nothing much had changed in that time, not even the ringtone of Obi-Wan’s phone for him, only its model.

Tiredly, Obi-Wan reached for his phone in the dark, finding it somewhere on his night table.

“Hello?” he muttered into the speaker, not quite coherent yet.

“Obi-Wan!”

At the sound of Anakin’s panicked voice, Obi-Wan immediately sat up, all exhaustion forgotten. Over the years, the kind of tone Anakin’s voice reached when he was alarmed, had become an immediate trigger for Obi-Wan, forcing him to operate as if he were ready to give a three-hour lecture on the integration of the sonnet into English poetry.

“Anakin, is everything alright?” he asked, unnecessarily, as Anakin immediately began babbling over Obi-Wan.

“Can you come over, right now, we need your help.”

It took Obi-Wan barely a split second to register what exactly Anakin was asking. He glanced at the clock – it was the middle of the night. What could have happened- He sucked in a sharp breath.

“Are the twins alright?”

The only thing Obi-Wan could think of was that something had happened to the twins. The six-months-olds had had quite the ordeal behind them already. They had been born too early and Padmé, already weakened by the difficult pregnancy, had struggled during the birth. There had been too many complications and Obi-Wan still remembered that horrendous night, the long hours sitting next to Anakin in the waiting room, not knowing what was happening to Padmé.

And afterwards, he had spent quite a few nights over at their cramped home – meant for two adults, not two adults and two babies – helping them out. Padmé had rested and recovered while Anakin had cared for the children and her, and Obi-Wan had just made sure that everything in-between had run smoothly. Anakin and Padmé both had thanked him countless times already, but Obi-Wan didn’t know what for. They were his best friends, he was the twins’ godfather. If he didn’t come to help them, what kind of friend was he?

“No, the twins are alright,” Anakin reassured him immediately, though his voice didn’t lose any of its panic. “I just- I need to marry you. Kind of right now immediately, preferably before the weekend is over.”

“What.” Obi-Wan thought he had misheard. “Anakin, what are you talking about?”

“Can you just-“

Anakin’s voice faded from the speaker. Obi-Wan could hear some bickering, then a new person spoke. Padmé’s voice was lighter, higher than usual as well, but not quite as panicked as Anakin’s.

“Hello, Obi-Wan. Sorry for disturbing you at this hour but we have a problem. Could you be so kind and come over?”

“…Sure,” Obi-Wan replied after a pause. “Could you just give me ten minutes to get dressed?”

“You have still got some of your clothes here,” Anakin‘s voice rang out again, before he suddenly yelped and hissed, muttering something about sharp elbows. “Just- hurry, please.”

X

And so it came to be that Obi-Wan, dressed because he was not a heathen and it was chilly at night still, walked out of his house at three in the morning, and jumped into his car to drive downtown to the little apartment near the university campus that Anakin and Padmé shared. They had been meaning to move out since before they had even learned Padmé was expecting, but they hadn’t had the funds at first and then the time and now they were still living there. They were planning to move once the twins were a little older and easier to handle, but Obi-Wan already foresaw that this wouldn’t be any easier for them.

When he pulled into their street, Anakin was already standing in front of their house, dressed in an oversized hoodie and long, dark pants that were much too warm for this weather. The desert kid in Anakin would always make him freeze at all times. Summertime was alright, but during winter Anakin was always the first to get sick and cold and be absolutely miserable all around. He then always took great pleasure in sticking his hands and feet beneath the next warm willing body. Or unwilling if Anakin was sure you loved him enough to let him put his freezing hands on you.

Obi-Wan parked his car and was not even halfway out it when Anakin grabbed his hands and pretty much dragged him inside and then up through the staircase to his apartment. He didn’t say a word as he opened up the door, but his expression was concerning enough.

The apartment was slightly messier than when Obi-Wan had last seen it, clothes, photos, and documents alike flying around everywhere.

“So,” Obi-Wan asked as he looked around. “What is going on?”

Anakin opened his mouth, ready to let it all fall from his lips, but then shut his mouth and shook his head so that instead of replying, he was pushing Obi-Wan into his and Padmé’s bedroom. The bedroom was the biggest room in their small apartment. Their living room also doubled as offices and the kitchen was just cramped enough that it was full when you stood there with two people, doing absolutely nothing. In comparison to that, the bedroom was giant, even if it didn’t look like it with the wardrobe, bed, and the twins’ crib in it.

The babies were sleeping soundly in their crib while Padmé was sitting upright on the bed, her laptop in front of her, and another stack of documents lying around her.

“Good morning, Padmé” Obi-Wan greeted her.

She just smiled tiredly at him and waved.

“Morning, Obi-Wan, and sorry for all of this.” She gestured towards the documents and then at Anakin, who had already dropped on the bed, his head now resting on Padmé’s lap.

“Nothing I’m not already used to,” Obi-Wan replied, kicked off his shoes, and sat down next to Anakin’s legs. The first couple of times he had been around, he had been uncomfortable claiming a spot here, but he had long since gotten used to it.

“So,” he repeated his earlier question. “What is going on and why do I need to marry Anakin?”

“We have run into a major problem,” Pamdé said. “We got mail this morning. Yesterday morning.”

She paused and glanced at the watch on her wrist before sighing and handing Obi-Wan one of the papers he accepted quickly. “Anyway, we got mail from the state saying that Anakin has to leave the country next week or face legal consequences.”

“What?” Obi-Wan replied. “Wait, how can that be?”

He glanced down at the letter Padmé had given him, and true enough, it was an official one.

Obi-Wan was well aware that Anakin’s citizenship hadn’t always been in the clear. His mother had been brought to this country as a worker with no documents or even the right to decide what to do with herself. Anakin’s documents had been equally shady right up until Obi-Wan’s father had cleared them up. It was how they had met – Qui-Gon Jinn introducing little Anakin Skywalker and his mother, the latest cases of immigrants his law firm was helping, to Obi-Wan. The then 9-year-old Anakin had latched onto Obi-Wan pretty quickly. They had been friends ever since and gone through thick and thin together and some not so pretty years as well.

But all in all, Anakin shouldn’t have any trouble with his citizenship, especially not now. And if Anakin had trouble, Shmi would certainly as well.

“I don’t know!” Anakin said and threw up his hands. “We already called the residents’ registration office but they said that due to some-” He waved his hands, replacing the legal jargon with gestures. “-they don’t count anymore because they were bound to some temporary stay. I have no idea.”

Obi-Wan ran his hand through his hair. He knew some of the goings-on tied to immigration laws due to his father, but not all of them. However, he was still sure that whatever was going on here, it wasn’t correct.

“Okay, but we can get those renewed. It’s terrible right now, but we can file in a complaint and fight the order. It might take a few months, but I’m sure we can figure it out.”

Anakin only shook his head. “I don’t have a few months. It’s out now or fines or prison or something and we don’t exactly got the money.”

“But you’re married?” Obi-Wan frowned and looked at Padmé whose face had twisted into something dark and angry like he’d never seen before.

“That’s the second thing we’re wondering about. Our marriage, apparently, is not legally binding. And they just discovered it. Again, it’s something about my citizenship and the fact that we didn’t marry here but in Naboo. It’s freaking ridiculous but whenever we ask or try to inquire what we can do, I get told to go back to where I came from like I ever actually came from anywhere on Tatooine!”

Anakin’s voice got a little louder and they froze when suddenly a quiet whine rang out in the room. Simultaneously, the three of them turned to look at the crib.

“Oh, no, no, no-“ Anakin muttered and moved to get up, but Obi-Wan was quicker and closer.

“I’ll get them,” he said and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Obi-Wan stood up and walked over to the crib, picking up Leia first who stared up at him with her brown eyes. Their newborn blue coloring had darkened after only a couple weeks already, but Luke’s were still as blue as Anakin’s.

“Hey, little lady,” Obi-Wan whispered, holding Leia close before he gave her to Padmé. Then, turning around, saw that Luke was watching him as well.

“You too, darling?” He asked and took him into his arms before sitting down on the bed again, careful so that he wasn’t shaking Luke awake. With both children settled into Padmé and Obi-Wan’s arms, Anakin continued.

“So, the bottom line is, I don’t have anything that says I’m a Coruscant citizen or married to Padmé so the only thing we could think of was that I get married to somebody who has citizenship and therefor get to stay here like that until we figure out what’s actually going on.”

Anakin’s shoulders dropped. “Sorry to spring this on you like this but we are kind of desperate here. And if I don’t have citizenship and something happens to Padmé, the twins-“

Anakin doesn’t even have to say it out loud. Obi-Wan would know exactly where the twins would go.

“This is horrible,” he said. “And truly nothing else has worked out? Have you called any lawyers?”

“About a hundred,” Padmé sighed. “None of them can help and we couldn’t reach your father either.”

Right, Qui-Gon was on a humanitarian trip on… Obi-Wan didn’t even know. He hadn’t spoken to his father in a while, not since their last big fight. He really hadn’t been in the mood to put up with him.

“Okay,” Obi-Wan said, letting the thought take shape in his mind. “So, marriage?”

“Just for a short while,” Padmé reassured him. “It doesn’t have to be for long, only until we can get this sorted out again and then you can get divorced and we’ll bake you another cake as a thank you. We are really sorry about this and I know it sounds stupid but-“

“Hey, none of this is your fault,” Obi-Wan replied and with his one free arm, gently squeezed Padmé’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out. Besides, marrying Anakin isn’t the worst thing I have done out of the blue.”

Anakin only eyed him suspiciously and Obi-Wan couldn’t help grinning. Anakin knew some of the really dumb things Obi-Wan had gotten into, but not all of them.

“How is this not the worst you have ever done,” Anakin echoed. “You’re marrying me so I can stay in the country.”

Obi-Wan could think of plenty of other things and was suddenly, for once, very happy he could use Anakin’s obliviousness to cheer him up.

“You don’t know what Quinlan and I got up to in our youth.”

“The more you mention it, the more do I think that I really don’t want to know it either,” Anakin muttered, shaking his head. Then he took a deep breath, eyes closed. A moment passed and only then he continued speaking. “But- you’ll do it-?”

“Of course, Anakin. You’re my best friend. How could I not help you out?” Obi-Wan watched the baby sleeping soundly in his arms, entirely unaware of the troubles his parents were in. They had gone through enough chaos in the last year, the least he could do was help them out. “When do you need to get married?”

“Tomorrow morning. Or today. At least if we want the paperwork to go through smoothly and quickly enough.” Anakin looked at Padmé who nodded in confirmation.

“And we’ll need somebody to marry us- Oh, hell, where will we even get somebody to marry us on such short notice?”

It was late spring, the season most couples decided to get married. The offices would be full and getting somebody who could marry them even just today-

Obi-Wan blinked.

“Quinlan is ordained.”

“What?”

Padmé and Anakin stared at him with deadpan expressions. Obi-Wan supposed this would make more sense to them if the two had spent more time around Quinlan than just a couple hours whenever their paths crossed at Obi-Wan’s birthday parties. His childhood friend was a wild spirit and Obi-Wan still wasn’t exactly sure what his job was, he seemed to change it every month. He did, however, have an amazing repertoire of skills and being ordained was just amongst them. He had married Luminara and Shaak Ti a couple of years back.

“I can call him,” Obi-Wan offered.

“Right now?” Padmé raised her brow. “Don’t you think he’ll be mad?”

“He’s used to such things,” Obi-Wan replied. “Kind of the same way I’m used to getting called from you at 3 in the morning, Anakin.”

Anakin had the decency to smile sheepishly.

“Are you sure?” Padmé continued. “This can wait until morning-“

“Except that it really can’t,” Obi-Wan interrupted her softöy. “Not if we want to make sure this is airtight.”

With some trouble as he was still holding Luke, Obi-Wan fished his phone out of his pants’ pocket and searched for Quinlan’s contact. Once he found it, he dialed the newest phone number he had, hoping it was still the correct one. It rang a couple of times before the other accepted the call and Obi-Wan put him on speaker.

“Obi-Wan!” Quinlan shouted, slightly slurring Obi-Wan’s name. “My man! What’s going on?” In the background, Obi-Wan could hear loud music. Quinlan must be out partying then. Obi-Wan hadn’t even known that there were clubs that were open on a Wednesday night at this hour still. But then again, their city had a very large university district.

“Quinlan, are you still ordained?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Am I still my main? Main what? Video game character?”

“Ordained,” Obi-wan repeated patiently. “Can you marry people?”

“Oh, yeah, sure! Just got my license renewed last week. Who needs to get married?”

“Me,” Obi-Wan said. “And Anakin Skywalker? Tall, blond, blue eyes, math genius-“

“I know your other half, Obi-Wan, honestly. And holy, shit, you’re finally marrying him?”

Obi-Wan paused to look up from his phone into the faces of Padmé and Anakin who looked just as confused as him.

“What do you mean finally-“ Obi-Wan stopped. Honestly, it didn’t matter. “Yes, sure. We need to get married tomorrow morning. Well, today actually. Is that possible?”

“Sure, I just need to get some documents from the department and it’ll be done. I need your ID and that’s about it. Any preferences for a location? There is this super neat gazebo in the main park. It’s a little out of the way so there are no people, would be great for wedding phots- holy fuck, does your father even know? Or is he still stuck in... where is he again?”

“Does it matter?” Obi-Wan replied. “Look, I just need to get married as soon as possible.”

“Okidoki, I’ll come to your house then? Or to that park?”

“We’ll l meet you at the park,” Anakin spoke up.

“Oh! Hey Anakin! You here as well?”

Padmé raised her hand to her mouth in an attempt to stifle her laughter, but Obi-Wan doubted it mattered. Quinlan probably wouldn’t even hear it over all that background noise.

“Obi-Wan, put you on speaker,” Anakin said meanwhile.

“Cool, cool, see you tomorrow morning then at... what time?”

The earlier they got it done, the better, Obi-Wan figured. “What time are you up again?”

“Club closes at five, so, we can do this at six? No, wait. Eight. I need the documents.”

“Eight it is then,” Obi-Wan agreed. “Good night, Quinlan, have fun and see you then.”

“Bye-bye!”

Obi-Wan ended the call and stared at his phone just a moment longer. This had not gone as he had expected, somewhere in the back of his mind he thought it should be more difficult to get married, and yet, somehow, it apparently was all working out correctly.

“So, that’s it?” Anakin asked shakily.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan answered. “That’s it.”

He thought he should feel weird about it, he had never considered marriage before in any capacity, but instead, all Obi-Wan could feel was relief.

“Oh, thank the heavens,” Anakin muttered and then pretty much threw himself at Obi-Wan as carefully as he could without waking Luke in the process. He wrapped obi-wan in a tight hug, the kind where he buried his face in the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck and didn’t let go for a while. “Just, thank you so much.”

“No problem, Anakin. Anything for you, dear one.”

“No, really,” Padmé said. “We can’t thank you enough. You have been helping out with the twins and now this and- we can never make this up to you.”

“I’d never ask you to make it up to me because you don’t have to.” Trying to ease the tension of this situation somewhat, Obi-wan smiled softly. “I’ll be content with some more cake. You’re mother’s recipe?”

Anakin laughed, still a little shaky, but he didn’t look like hell anymore at least.

“That one? Sure, I can make that,” Anakin answered. “It’ll be our wedding cake then. Then I’ll have eaten it twice at my own wedding already. Not that it’s a lot, but it’s still kind of weird to have done it twice.”

He then carefully took Luke from Obi-Wan’s arms and then lied down on the bed again, the baby still asleep on his chest. “I think I’ll stay just like this until this is over.”

“Maybe get some proper sleep instead?” Obi-suggested. “You need some rest after this stress.. both of you,” he added, pointedly looking at Padmé.

“We’ll be fine, we always are,” she said. “And you should get some sleep as well.”

Obi-Wan stood up and stretched. “I will, I’m already missing my bed.”

His two friends immediately frowned at him, their expressions easily telling Obi-Wan that they were not agreeing with the decision he had reached just now.

“You’re not driving home now, it’s bad enough we made you come here at this hour,” Padmé insisted. “Besides bed is big enough, you can sleep here with us.”

“I don’t want to impose-“

“You’re not imposing.”

“The sofa then-“

“Obi-wan,” Anakin inserted. “Don’t make me tie you to the bed again.”

Padmé looked at them both, then began to grin. “Honestly, your conversations are a delight to listen to out of context. But really, Obi-Wan, our sofa sucks. You know our sofa sucks. We’ll just put the twins to sleep again in the crib and you can fit in here.”

Obi-Wan thought about complaining for another second, but he’d only lie to himself. He didn’t want to drive home now. He was incredibly tired and the risk of falling asleep while driving now that all the adrenaline had left him was not as low as it should be.

“Fine,” he finally admitted defeat.

And then, as before, he took Luke from Anakin’s arms and put him back in his crib, then he took Leia from Pamdé’s arms and set her down next to her brother. The twins looked absolutely adorable and already much bigger than they had when they had come from the hospital. Seeing them grow up healthy was a greater comfort than anything else.

Obi-Wan then stepped out of his pants, contemplating keeping on his socks in case Anakin decided his feet were cold and took them off anyway, and kept his shirt. Obi-Wan walked away from the crib towards the light switch and turned it, drowning the room in pitch black. He stumbled across the ground towards the bed and crawled under the banket. It was, as expected, heavier and warmer than anything he would sleep in.

He laid down on the left side of the bed, his back to Anakin, who took great pleasure in immediately tangling his legs with Obi-Wan’s while wrapping his arms around Padmé.

“Good night,” he said and yawned.

“Good night,” the couple replied.

And the three of them fell into a sleep next to one another.

[chokemeanakin]

Okay so I was thinking maybe something along the lines of fluffy Anakin coming home from a long mission and just wanting to be held and loved on by his significant other? I was thinking of stuff like running fingers through hair, forehead kisses, gentle caresses and the like please! Thank you love!

Thank you for the request! I had such a good time writing it 🥰 (also I totally wasn’t scream-crying to Miley Cyrus’s ‘Look at You’ the whole time🥴🤫)

Masterlist

Read it on ao3

Loving on You - Anakin Skywalker x gn Reader

You had been waiting for Anakin’s arrival all day, excited to see your secret lover after he had been deployed on a mission for two whole weeks. You were in the middle of volunteering to guard the Jedi archives when he returned, and every second you weren’t running toward the star-fighter hangar was a second more that your patience was stretching thin. Jocasta Nu ended up setting you free early, noting the way you were antsily fidgeting and looking towards the windows.

An hour had passed since he arrived, and you were just leaving the archives. He must be finishing up his report to the Council, so you headed that way. Coincidentally, you ran into his master on your way over, almost smacking straight into him.

“Obi-Wan!” you exclaimed, out of breath. “I saw you and Anakin just got back from your mission. Do you know where he is?”

Something was off. The lines in Obi-Wan’s face looked deeper, eyebags more prominent, and the light wasn’t really reaching his eyes. He tilted his head behind him, gesturing to the dorm rooms.

“Unfortunately, you just missed him,” he sighed, “I believe he went looking for you in your room.”

“Are… are you alright?”

Obi-Wan forced a smile onto his face, although you could tell it took effort. “I’m just fine. Although I don’t think I can say the same for Anakin.”

Your blood immediately ran cold. “What happened? Did he get hurt?”

“No, no, he’s not injured. The mission was just… upsetting for him. I’m sure he’ll want to tell you about it.”

You blew out a breath of relief and then put a comforting hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I’ll let you get some rest then. See you tomorrow.”

He bowed his head at you and you went your separate ways. As soon as you turned the corner, you bounded down the hallways to your room. Closing the door behind you, excitement grew in your veins as you saw the soft glow of a light on in the living room. He was home.

You walked into the living room, not seeing anyone except for a metal ball floating a couple inches above the couch. Peering over the back, you saw Anakin lying down, floating the decoration around with a hard look on his face. He was still dressed in all of his Jedi gear, not even bothering to take off his boots.

“Hi,” you hugged the back of the couch, smiling down at Anakin with your chin on your hands.

As always, the feeling of seeing his face after so long sent warmth down your spine. There was always that fear, no matter how many times he assured you otherwise, that one of these days he would not come back from a mission. It kept you up on the nights he was too busy to send you a hologram message letting you know he was okay, and you found you had to throw yourself into miscellaneous projects to keep your mind off of worst-case scenarios while he was gone. Staying busy was your only way to cope with the fear... But oh, how sweet it was to know he was here now.

Anakin’s lips twitched into a tiny smile of acknowledgement before it disappeared. “Hi, my love.”

Your face fell. Yeah… Obi-Wan was right. Anakin was upset, and you were gaging that it was a sad kind of upset this time. You were used to his anger and frustration, but you’d be lying if you said his sorrow scared you the most. He could fall to such extreme lows, it was almost impossible for even you to pull him back. It really didn’t help that you were shit at dealing with emotions either.

You bit your lip, looking at the ball he was floating around in the air. “I heard the mission was tough.”

“We were successful,” Anakin huffed lightly and caught the ball in his hand, placing it on the table beside him. “Or at least, the Council seems to think so.”

“What happened?”

He began to pick at thread from the sleeve of his Jedi robe. “We took back the alliance with Lim’Shor. Drove the Separatists away. Dooku escaped before we could intercept his ship… which is typical.”

“So…” you tilted your head. You still weren’t sure what had him in such a forlorn mood.

Anakin played with his hands in his lap, twisting and pulling at the sleeves of his robe. He was frowning, not the usual boy who was usually so full of life and excitement after completing a mission.

“Lim’Shor is in the outer rims. A lawless planet where slavery is common. Even with this alliance… it’s not under Republic rule.” He paused, jaw clenching. “While we could help keep the Separatist’s oppression at bay, there was nothing we could do to help themselves.”

Oh. Fuck.

Anakin was very senstive toward the topic of slavery-- rightfully so. With his troubled past, and what happened to his mother… you couldn’t even imagine the pain and anger it had caused him, and still plagues him to this day. The nightmares, the grief, the unbridled rage. You had seen it all, those terrible side effects of living through such a horrendous practice. It was no small miracle he had turned out to be the kind, golden-hearted man he was today-- and no wonder why he was so upset right now.

You made your way to the front of the couch, pushing the table away so that you could sit on the floor before Anakin. Although he wouldn’t look at you, the guilt swimming in his eyes broke your heart.

“They’re right. There’s nothing you can do-- not yet, at least,” you offered quietly. “With the war going on, you can see why the Council needed you here. But once it’s all over, we can go back. We can free all the slaves, everywhere, just like you’ve always dreamed of doing.”

Anakin finally turned to look at you. There was a sparkle in his eye, and you were afraid it was a tear, but he was also smiling. It was a tiny, weak smile, but it was there.

“I would love nothing more,” he whispered, caressing your cheek with his finger. “Come here.”

He scoot over on the couch-- which was actually quite big to begin with-- so that you had room to slide on beside him. You were hesitant to touch him, seeing as how you liked your distance when you were hurting, but Anakin was the one that pulled you into him. He ducked his head and buried himself into your neck, breathing you in.

“We’re going to do it, I swear we will,” Anakin mumbled into your skin. “Every slave out there… we’re going to free them all someday.”

You couldn’t help but tighten your arms around his back, crushing him to your body. You wanted to take his past away, all the hurt he’s experienced, all his tormented memories, and the anguish of losing his mother. Your heart ached for the man in your arms, who always pretended to be so strong for others, but who you knew was secretly crumbling inside. He felt too much, too strongly, all the time. If only you could even take a fraction of that pain away…

“We will,” you vowed, rubbing your hand up and down the space between his shoulder blades. You didn’t think you could say anything else without your voice giving away the emotion building up in your eyes, so you settled for kissing his forehead, long and warm and lingering -- a promise.

You counted Anakin’s breaths as you felt them on your collarbone. Each one, you cherished with your whole being. He was here, he was safe, and he was broken but healing. He was in your arms, and you would do everything in your power to make sure he always made it back there.

You’re pretty sure Anakin fell asleep around breath number 102 or 103. Somewhere along the way, your hand had drifted to play with the soft curls at the base of his neck. He had shivered at the feeling, burying his head deeper into you. Now, his breathing was deep and even, and you thanked whatever Maker was out there that you were lucky enough to have this beautiful man, safe and sleeping in your arms.

*******************************************************

You stayed awake for hours, letting Anakin nap in your embrace before he slowly blinked his eyes opened and peered up at you blearily.

“How long have we been here? You must be so uncomfortable.”

“No, I’m perfect,” you ran your hands through his hair, messing up his curls so that they’d stick out at odd angles.

“Still, I should get off of you and take a shower.”

You didn’t want to let him go, but you got off the couch per his request and accepted the kiss he left on your hand before he left to wash up. You immediately felt cold without his body pressed against yours, already missing his presence.

While you waited for him to get out of the shower, you prepared some tea and jelly toast for him, almost certain he had had nothing to eat in the last week but those little nutrient balls he carried in the compact in his belt. You still didn’t understand how he could stand them.

You walked into your room where Anakin was shirtless, sporting nothing but his loose fitting sleep pants that now hung low on his hips. You tried to stop yourself from staring at his v-line as he ran the towel through his hair, drying it messily before throwing the towel in the hamper. He looked surprised when you handed him the food.

“For me?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “I thought you’d be hungry.”

Anakin set the plate of toast on the bedside table so he had a free hand to pull you close to him by your waist. He leaned down so he could kiss you, his lips pillowy and soft and heavenly after not feeling them against yours for so long. It was only meant to be a thank you kiss, but, well, you’ll take the blame this time for getting carried away.

You sighed in relief, melting into his figure as you traced the hard planes of his body with your fingertips. His bare skin was warm under your touch, muscles quivering with each pass of your hand. One day, you would spend hours mapping him out with your mouth. For now, you ran your hands down his chest, exploring the crevices between his abs, dipping into his v-line. He shivered at the feeling, setting the mug of tea down as well before sitting back onto the bed and pulling you with him.

You had no qualms about it. Kissing him was something you would never get tired of. When he pulled back so he could breathe, you continued planting kisses all over his face-- his forehead, cheekbones, nose, chin, jaw. He scrunched his face up and laughed, cupping your face between his hands and pushing you back.

“Miss me much?”

“You have no idea,” you weren’t even ashamed, pushing forward to kiss him again. You decided to deepen the kiss, tongue darting out to tease Anakin’s bottom lip, slipping into his mouth and tasting him for the first time in weeks. Oh God, you were in love. The warmth of him, the smell of him, the taste of him-- your head was filled with him, you were drowning in him. Him, him, him.

You traced his jawline with your fingertips as you slotted your lips with his, smoothing his eyebrow down with your thumb. Even the littlest touches had him turn to jelly in your hands.

Jelly…

You pulled back begrudgingly, his panting breaths on your lips testing your self-control by the second. “As much as I’m enjoying this, you need to eat.”

“I’ll be fast,” Anakin promised, and then got to work. He tried to cheat by giving you half a slice of toast, but you pushed it back and gave him a pointed look.

“Okay, all done,” he finished off the tea and tossed the dishes onto the bedside table again. Then he shifted closer to you, tilting your chin up so he could reach your lips. “Now, where were we?”

[seateajessi]

Chapter 1

Wc: 1.8k   

@chokemeanakin​ request, my very first fanfic hope you like it <3

There it was this familiar feeling of fear, anger, and frustration creeping into my mind consuming my very soul ​and leave my body frozen.

I failed.

I needed a moment to realize what just happened, a moment I missed to dodge the shot that split my lightsaber in half.

Not that It was of great use to me, now that I was lying on a destroyed federation tank, probably deadly injured and without any support that could turn things for the better.

The stars dancing over me confirmed my worries and slowly a jabbing pain kept me from breathing in more of the burnt air that wavered over the battlefield.

That was it.

That was the end.

The end of a traitor, of someone who left her troops in the middle of a crucial fight only to hunt down a phantom, a specter. There were clear orders to be followed, there was a code that showed a Jedi how to lead, how to live, and most importantly how to survive.

Especially the last part seemed more reasonable to me, as I was dying on that piece of metal junk.

My vision began to blur and the sounds of the battle surrounding me became numbed.

I desperately tried to reach my communicator and I believe more color left my face when I felt the warm blood on my finger.

Tears formed in my eyes as I started to realize what I had done, in what position I had brought not only my troops but the whole galaxy, the republic ... and General Skywalker.

I winced at the thought of Ani, we were friends since we first met as younglings at the temple.

The mission we were sent to was most likely one of the most significant, it held the potential to capture General Grievous and end that monster once and for all. After a defeat of General Grievous and his droids, the Jedi council and chancellor Palpatine were informed by republic supporters that Grievous fled to the Outer Rim.

Palpatine made it clear that two of the most powerful Jedi should execute this mission to ensure certain success. The council was as confused as I was when the chancellor recommended me for this mission, of course, I was a Jedi knight but I was neither a master nor the chosen one, on the contrary, I had never felt strongly connected to the force or was especially skilled with the lightsaber. If it wasn't for the severity of the situation and the lack of available Jedi, the council would have never even considered sending me on this mission.

I closed my eyes and gasped at the pain that slowly numbed my body and my consciousness.

In the Carlac system, we finally tracked a sign, in hindsight obviously way too easy and after we landed on Carlac it didn´t take long and an army had surrounded us. Any communication was blocked and Anakin and I were separated right at the beginning of the battle.

The snow-covered planet made it difficult to keep an overview, heavy blizzards made it nearly impossible to see more than two feet in front of you.

Tiny sobs escaped me when I thought of him being out there alone facing this gigantic army of battle droids. In the Jedi order was no personal attachment allowed and that was the hardest price to pay in order of being a Jedi. He had to be dead by now, yet I didn´t feel any change in the force.

The tears burned in my eyes, realizing that everyone could be dead by now and my weak connection to the force could easily hide it from me.

My thoughts became disorientated and the aching pain had now reached every limb and bone in my body.

My eyelids became heavier and it started to snow again, flakes nearly as big as my hand, they really looked beautiful combined with the fading sunlight.

Something felt so familiar with that picture and for a moment it soothed my pain sending me into something between sleep and unconsciousness.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nightmare that haunted me was the same as I dreamt it almost every night for as long as I could remember.

Usually, I was wandering through a cave until I would spot daylight and hope to escape this hell only to stop before a dead end every single time. A horrifying scream fills the cave, echoes, and becomes louder and louder until I´d crouch on the ground. Desperation and fear would paralyze me until the cave would begin to crumble and collapse burying me.

This time was no different and with a loud gasp I opened my eyes, adjusting to the harsh mechanical lights that were directed on me.

I couldn´t make anything out in the glaring light, apart from the metallic room that surrounded me, and the fact that I was levitating in the middle of this room, held in some sort of slowly spinning electrical captivation.

It was a wonder that I survived the shooting before but there was no way I would live long enough to...my train of thought was interrupted by the opening of the door.

Battle droids of course and behind them a horrendous creature, half a robot and half Kaleesh.

"General Grievous", I stated, trying to sound as unaffected as possible.

His pestering laugh filled the room as he eyed me carefully.

"I´m a Jedi", my voice sounded horrible, an embarrassing mixture between voice cracks and whispering. Why was I even talking to him, I silently cursed myself.

"Jedi scum for sure, but what´s your name little Jedi?"

"Emerald", I answered slowly starting to feel the pain coming back.

"Is this even a name?", the droid next to Grievous chattered, "Never is that a name.", he continued clearly sure of himself, "We found her on the top of a tank, and her lightsaber was broken. I have it right here. Look at it yourself." he proudly held my lightsaber in front of Grievous face.  

"What am I supposed to do with it you stupid droid?", the Kaleesh snarled. "You´re soon will look like that saber, Jedi scum. Droids, guard her." with that he stamped out, leaving me with that awful sound of "Rodger, Rodger" echoing through the room.

The thought of Anakin and the clones haunted me, there was no way I would give them up so easily.

This was my chance, a new sparkle of hope gave me life, the moment a somewhat brilliant idea came to my mind.

With my most suffering expression, which I didn't even need to fake that much I wailed "Oh, no. I´m gonna die, I can feel it. If I die now, Grievous can´t kill me. How are you gonna explain to him that you let me die when you were instructed to guard me." I sighed dramatically and slowly closed my eyes.

"Is she dead?", "Hey you, Emerald Jedi.", "I think she is dead", "We need to check, I was just promoted." the discussion continued until I roughly landed on the ground, hearing the two battle droids​ approaching to check on my health.

I quietly groaned at the aching pain that definitely originated from the left side of my body.

I felt the cold metal hand on my throat, clumsily checking if I was still alive. "I think she is...dead?!"

I calmed myself collecting everything that's left of my strength and grabbed the droid and ripped his head off. "Whaaat the", the other droid screamed in shock, still compensating why I was still breathing, which made it easier to grab his blaster and shoot it.

I gasped again, this time out of physical exertion, this little fight had brought me near unconsciousness again.

Struggling to set one foot before another I reached the door and opened it, trying to be as quiet as possible while sneaking out of the metallic hellhole.

There were only a few other droids, the base definitely didn´t seem heavily guarded, which was somehow strange.

"Grievous, you know that it is of utmost importance that the Jedi girl...", I froze and slowly approached the corner the voices were coming from. "Skywalker has to walk into our trap..." My heart made a little jump when I realized that Anakin probably wasn´t dead. "...Sidious ordered that she is only to be killed when Skywalker watches." I frowned and carefully retreated. The pain became more unbearable by the second and I still needed to find a way out of here.

Still, I couldn´t keep my mind from start rattling about what I just witnessed.

What in the force's name did they mean by setting a trap for Anakin. I wasn´t sure who the other one was, but I was definitely planning on figuring that out.

I needed to get to our ship and contact the fleet, call for help and inform the Jedi council about this.

I looked for something that would keep me alive and my luck had turned at least that's what I thought the moment I spotted a little something above me.

It seemed like there was some sort of container that had a medical sign-on. My shoulder made a terrible sound as I tried to reach for the switch to open it.

The pain that shot through my whole body caused me to abruptly slump down to the hard metal ground.

Before I could hit the ground hard, I was caught by a pair of strong arms that seemed familiar to me.

Could this be... "Ani?", I croaked and turned around, tears once again forming in my eyes as I saw his eyes full of concern and his hurt expression.

"You promised me you weren´t going to do anything reckless", he whispered and tried to sound taunting but his voice broke when he turned me a bit and saw my side.

I  tried to form a laugh that sounded more like Grievous coughing, due to the amount of blood that came with it.

"Don´t worry it´s gonna be fine. Help is on its way, we-we contacted the fleet.",

My hand clutched for his that tried desperately to soothe my pain somehow.

"Ani, please hold me", I whimpered holding on to him even stronger. I couldn't read the expression that crept on his face but it scared me.

"They are gonna pay for this, every single one of them." he hissed and my stomach turned.

"Just look at me, Ani, please. It´s not that bad.", I whispered caressing his cheek and tried to smile. His expression softens and he carefully picked me up. "You´re so cold, Ems." I huffed and grabbed his hand pressing it against me, placing a soft kiss on his palm. A sad smile graced his face while he covered me with his robe. "See, I´m here, don´t worry.", he placed in return a kiss on my head.

"Ani, I´m scared." I whispered and I don´t know what hurt more the stabbing pain in my side or how his eyes became watery.

I ran my hand softly over his chest and buried myself into his strong arms. I barely felt the pain nor the burning sensation that had caused his touch.

And once again I drifted into sleep, only this time I felt as safe and warm as I never had before.

[hellowkatey]

Febuwhump Day 14

Prompt: “I didn’t mean it”

Part 2 of Hell in Hoth

Read Part 1 here

Read on AO3

The Ground is My Halt

The Force feels wrong. Obi-Wan wrong. Without explaining himself, Anakin breaks out into a run and Rex reacts instantly. The mouth of the tunnel is just ahead, and as they run the figure of Obi-Wan comes into view. His saber is drawn, arms pulled back in the classic opening position of Ataru, which is the first clue that something is wrong.

The second is their old training bond tightening with such force it nearly makes Anakin trip over himself. Master? He says through the bond, and Anakin's chest tightens.

"Obi-Wan?" he yells, trying to get his attention, but his former master's eyes just widen, and his arms go limp. His lightsaber clatters to the ground, and Obi-Wan follows soon after, his lips moving but nothing that Anakin can make out. "Obi-Wan!"

He grabs Obi-Wan by the shoulders and turns him over so he's lying on his back. "I'm fine," Obi-Wan gasps, his pupils blown and glassy. "I'm okay."

Anakin looks up as Cody comes running. "What happened?"

"I was gonna ask you the same thing!" Anakin gripes. Obi-Wan's chest is rising and falling shallowly, wheezing with every breath. "It sounds like his lung collapsed." Anakin slips his hand from behind Obi-Wan's back to get a better grip but the dark red that now stains his glove catches him off-guard.

"Turn him," Rex says, also seeing the blood. They carefully flip a half-unconscious Obi-Wan onto his side, and Anakin draws in a breath at the sight of a quickly spreading stain of blood soaking through his parka. He curses under his breath, grabbing his saber and cutting through the material of the coat. What it reveals makes a new rush of anger slip through.

Pieces of fabric-- pieces of his tunic, it appears, though they are bright red instead of beige now-- hang sloppily off a wound in the center of the right side of his back.

"Why didn't you know about this?" Anakin asks Cody, not bothering to filter his annoyance. It's not the commander he's mad at-- it's his dumbass master who definitely tried to hide this without telling his companion.

"I don't... I don't know, sir," Cody says, muted. Anakin immediately regrets his tone, but he has no time to deal with that. From the blue tinge of his lips, Obi-Wan may not have time.

"We need to get him back to the ship!" He grabs Rex's busted commlink and pulls his own off his wrist. It was also broken in their fall, but Anakin assumes there are enough parts between the four of them to do a quick fix. It takes him only a few minutes to rewire the comlink, using the intact speaker of his and the localizer of Rex's. He hands it back to Rex. "Call for evac."

__________

It doesn't take long for the med unit to reach them in the ice lab. Cody stands out of the way, watching a Kix and Helix carefully load General Kenobi onto a stretcher and strap an oxygen mask across his pale face. Skywalker is pacing, and Rex is running alongside Kix, probably explaining the situation.

That should be me giving the brief, Cody muses, following behind them. I was with him.

Skywalker's harsh tone hit Cody harder than he expected it to. Usually, he is immune to the curt words of the temperamental Jedi, but the intensity he looked at him is what seems to be weighing on him. The slanted stare that is usually directed at their enemies suddenly aimed at him.

He's scared, Cody reminds himself. It's quite obvious that the Jedi aren't always good at practicing what they preach, and the Hero-Without-Fear or whatever the holonet likes to call Skywalker have obviously never met the kid. When it comes to Kenobi or Tano, there is only fear. Understandably so. Even Cody was thrust into a panic when he saw his general crumble. He didn't know if there were enemies hiding somewhere and managed to snipe him, or if the lab had been rigged. But now, the wound was already scantily dressed, and now Cody just keeps racking his brain as to what could have happened.

Why didn't you know about this?

They were falling. The ship became unbalanced and they fell from what felt like one end to the other. Cody knows Kenobi managed to use the Force to cushion his fall, but maybe... maybe he didn't use it for himself?

It sounds preposterous, but a part of him isn't surprised. General Kenobi is well known for having more regard for others than himself. Even when it comes to the clones. No matter how dispensable they are by principle, he never cared. It's why he's so respected, so fiercely beheld by his men.

Cody wonders how they would react if he didn't come back. They're in the evac ship, crowded around the stretcher while Kix and Helix try their best to stuff sterile bandages into the wound. Skywalker stands in the corner, arms crossed and face hardened, but his eyes are unfocused. He is somewhere else entirely right now. Rex puts a hand on Cody's shoulder but says nothing. Cody prefers it that way. If General Kenobi doesn't come back, it would be his fault. He knows that.

Everything happens in a blur. They get back on the ship and General Kenobi is whisked away before the gunship even has a chance to fully land. The urgency of their actions doesn't escape Cody. He watches them solemnly as they disappear in the direction of the medbay.

Focus, he shakes away the thoughts of Kenobi on the operating table. The mission. The lab. A science lab in the middle of Hoth is not something they see every day, and he suspects it can't be for a good reason. The blood was proof enough of that.

Distracting himself will do him some good, The least he can do is his duty. He heads to the bridge to deliver the scan of the lab to report to the Jedi council.

"Commander," a voice rings out hesitantly. Cody stops and turns to see General Skywalker standing a few meters away. He salutes.

"General, what can I do for you?"

Skywalker walks up to him, his eyes seeming to attempt to gauge his emotions, but buckets don't show emotions and Cody is thankful for that.

"What did you find in that tunnel? What was all that?" His tone is more sedate now. More normal but still obviously filled with worry.

"A lab, I believe sir. I'm about to take our findings up for briefing if you would like to join me."

Skywalker nods, and they start walking to the bridge. Cody can feel the strange tension around them-- he doesn't have to be Force-sensitive to pick up on that fact. Maybe Skywalker is still cross with him. Blames him for what happened. Cody looks down at his comm, expecting a blinking light containing an update on Kenobi's condition. His commlink remains stagnant.

"I uh," the general says, quietly at first. "I'm sorry, Cody. I was worried about Obi-Wan and... I didn't mean it."

An apology is not what he expected. Cody looks at him, not exactly sure what to say here. "No apologies, sir, I should have been more vigilant."

Skywalker scoffs. "Now you sound like him. Really, though. It wasn't your fault. He's pulled that stunt on me more than once. I don't know where he got so good at hiding stuff like this."

"I hear it's the secret to becoming a master," Cody says without really thinking about who he is talking to. It's a joke he has with the med crew because of the Jedi's propensity for recklessness-- and now he's just said it to Skywalker. I've been spending too much time around General Kenobi... Cody stiffens, looking at the Jedi Knight expecting a new reason for anger, but instead, he's smiling.

"Didn't realize you had jokes, Commander," he laughs.

"Senses of humor are part of our programming, sir."

It's a pleasant diversion as they reach the bridge. The Jedi council is already on the holo, and Cody's moment of relief is renewed by the many pairs of eyes that now watch him and Skywalker carefully. Cody sets the holoscan into the projector and begins his impromptu presentation of their findings.

__________

When Obi-Wan awakes, there is a tube in his chest and a mask over his face. His body is sore and still feels like it's defrosting. He reaches up to take off the mask, but his goal is stopped by the hand of his former padawan obstructing his pathing.

"Not yet," he says, and Obi-Wan begrudgingly lets his hand fall back to his side. "You are on O2 therapy for another ten minutes."

"What happened?" he asks, his words muffled significantly by the oxygen mask but Anakin seems to pick it up well enough.

"Oh I don't know, why don't you tell me? And while we're at it, we can discuss your field-medic abilities because honestly, Obi-Wan, they're horrendous." Anakin sighs, his emotion deflating. "You had a puncture wound that shattered one of your ribs. It was fine until you irritated it and a piece of your rib punctured your lung and caused some internal bleeding."

"Oh," is all he can say in response. That all sounds about right.

"That's not all," Anakin says. "The lab. We tested the blood on the floor and..." he lets out a deep breath. "It had a midi-chlorian count, Master."

Now Obi-Wan is determined. He reaches up, ignoring Anakin's pleas to leave the mask alone. He needs him to hear this clearly. "We must find Jenna Zan Arbor."

Anakin winces at the name. Rightfully so, she captured and poisoned him with a horrible drug that basically entrapped him within his own mind.

"How do you know?"

He slips the mask down to his chin. There's no point now. "I don't know if it's her or a copycat, but she's done this before," he swallows hard. "On Qui-Gon. Bloodlet him so he would have to use the Force to preserve himself."

Anakin takes a deep, labored breath at that information, sitting back in the chair beside Obi-Wan's bed. His gaze is far away, no doubt in the remembrance of his experience under her spell. Zan Arbor tends to have that effect on them-- suddenly they are padawans once again, trying hard to defeat an enemy that is not so easily beat with the blade of a lightsaber. The worst part of the delusional scientist is that she is cunning. She escaped the prison Obi-Wan helped put her in and has proceeded to evade them ever since.

Obi-Wan puts the mask over his mouth and nose once again, taking a moment to replenish himself.

"So we find her?"

"Yes, I believe that is our next step."

Though neither of them says it, they both know the thoughts of the other: this is not going to be an easy reunion.

[sistersofthelightforce]

Facing Facts: The Diplomat

He supposes it’s fair that Padme still is angry at him. Of all people, she probably has the most right to be.

After that first mission, things change a little. She doesn’t leave the moment he arrives in Luke or Ahsoka’s chambers.

“Anakin, just in time, I was about to put on some tea,” Ahsoka chirps. She bustles into the kitchen, leaving Anakin and Padme in the lounge together.

Normally, Padme would make excuses and leave, but today, she stays seated and gives him a small smile. “How are you today, General Skywalker?”

“I’m doing well, I guess.” Anakin rubs the back of his neck. “How are you?”

“Busy, but well. Trying to set up the New Republic from beyond the grave isn’t an easy task.” Her tone is casual, but Anakin feels like there is a bite to it.

The silence between the two of them is horrendous. Anakin feels frustrated. They used to be able to talk for hours, or spend equally as much time simply enjoying each other’s company. Now that bond is ruined, and Anakin-

Anakin is furious with himself for it. It’s all his fault, all because of his actions. He misses his wife, and he knows he’s going to have to work hard to even have a chance of her forgiveness.

The old Anakin would blame her, would be angry and insist none of this was his fault, that everyone should be nicer to him about it.

Now, he knows better.

(But he doesn’t understand until a lot later why Padme smiles so widely when Ahsoka comes in, curls up against Anakin and informs him, “you’re warm.”)

It’s not always good. Padme is under a lot of stress trying to help Queen Karee get everything under control. She seems very pressured, and Ahsoka often murmurs with her in soft Boona. (He knows the difference between Boona and Asna now. Boona is more flowing, and sounds quite elegant. Asna is more guttural, but just as beautiful in Anakin’s opinion.)

He supposes he was bound to misstep at one point.

It’s just an ordinary day when he bursts into Ahsoka’s chambers, only to find them silent, except for Padme.

Padme is sitting with tears running down her face, clutching a holo of a baby girl- Leia, he assumes.

“Padme?” He asks softly.

She whirls around to look at him, her distress growing.”You!”

Anakin isn’t sure what to do so he stays silent.

“This is all your fault! Everything is your fault!” Padme shrieks. “I missed everything! Their first words, their first smiles, their first steps! I didn’t get any of that! I didn’t get to raise them because of you!”

Oh. Oh no.

“You took everything from me! I finally get Ahsoka back and you’ve broken her. You kill her time after time and still she forgives you? You left her to rot on some Sith poodoohole!” Padme shouts, fists balling at her side. “How could you?”

“Padme I-” He begins, but she cuts him off.

“I know! I know you’re sorry! I know Palpatine manipulated you. He manipulated everyone! I was the one who put him in power for force’s sake! But that doesn’t excuse what you did. You can’t just come back here and expect everything to be fine!” Padme is sobbing now, anger radiating off of her in the force.

“I didn’t,” he says softly, not quite talking to her.

“You did! You did! And I get everything is fine with Ahsoka, and whatever the hell went on with Obi-Wan, you guys seem fine now. But we were married! We were married and I’ve spent the majority of the time I’ve known you trying to fight you, trying to clean up what you’ve destroyed!” Padme lets out an anguished sob. “We were married and you tried to kill me. You used the force to strangle me and you didn’t even think of what could have happened to the twins!”

Anakin doesn’t like to think about that day on Mustafar. He feels so guilty. “I should never have used violence upon anyone I care about. Especially my wife. That was the worst thing I could have done-”

“YOU MURDERED CHILDREN!” Padme shrieks. “YOU’VE DONE SO MANY AWFUL THINGS. AND NOW I’M NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO BE ANGRY AT YOU!”

Ahsoka comes in at this point. “Mom? Dad? What’s going on?”

“Everything was getting better.” Padme sounds so quiet, so broken. “Why did he have to come back?”

“Oh Mom.” Ahsoka sends a quick look to Anakin (he wonders, later, if it is to make sure he isn’t going to destroy anything), but he makes a gesture towards Padme, and Ahsoka wraps her arms around her mother. Padme murmurs brokenly into Ahsoka’s shoulder. “I know Mom, I know.”

Ahsoka comes after him later.

“I’m fine,” he says sharply.

“She’s been bottling it up for a while. She should have talked to you and processed it, she should have talked to one of us about it, but she didn’t,” Ahsoka explained.

“I deserved it, it’s fine,” Anakin replies firmly.

Ahsoka tucks her head against his shoulder. “It’s all so complicated. She’s right to be angry at you, I can’t be mad at her for that. But you’re still my dad, and I hate you guys fighting.”

Anakin nods. “It’s ok that she’s mad. It’s fair.” He presses a kiss to Ahsoka’s forehead. “I think I’ll leave her be for a bit. I’ll give you guys space for a couple weeks, then I might just give her space at family stuff. I think letting her cool off might be the best plan.”

“Like after senate debates.” Ahsoka laughs.

Anakin chuckles earnestly. “Just like after senate debates.”

So he spends the next two weeks avoiding Padme as much as possible, then at family nights, he sits away from her and tries to be as out of her way as possible.

Anakin decides the best way to get through this is just to spend time with his kids, so he goes to meet Ahsoka at the gym. He freezes when he sees Padme.

She’s sitting on the bench while Ahsoka practises with a training droid a distance away. His daughter slices through it with ease, then puts it back together with her magic and goes again.

Padme is on her holopad when Anakin sits down beside her. “You know, she’s always been good with those things,” he muses.

“She certainly has. Her lightsaber skills are among the best.” Padme looks up and smiles gently. “She had a good teacher.”

Anakin chuckles a little and sighs. “Look, Padme, I know that I’m probably the last person you want hanging around-”

“Can you blame me?” She interjects.

“No! That’s what I’m saying!” He says quickly. “I don’t blame you, you have every right to hate me. And I’m truly sorry. I’ve done horrible things, and I promise I’ll spend every day trying to make up for it.”

Padme’s eyes are calculating, then a dangerous grin appears on her face. “Spar with me.”

“What?!” Anakin replies, sure he’s heard her wrong.

“You heard me, General Skywalker. Spar with me, and if you even get close to beating me, maybe I’ll consider forgiving you,” Padme explains.

“I-um- if you’re sure.” Anakin gets up, and follows Padme to a space nearby.

Ahsoka looks over at them and sighs before grinning. “Ota.”

“Here, Obi-Wan always insists I carry a spare lightsaber. I’ll go easy on you.” Anakin passes her his spare blade, tone genuine. He doesn’t want to hurt or humiliate Padme.

Padme smirks. “Oh, I’m quite sure I’ll be fine, General Skywalker.’

Padme pulls out her own lightsaber, and the blade glows a deep purple, more blue than Master Windu’s magenta blade.

Ah. Alright then.

Padme swings and Anakin has to move quickly to block it. She strikes again and parries quickly.

Padme stays at his level, striking forcefully and blocking everything Anakin throws at him.

Padme is good. Better than good. She could beat some of the best in the order, Anakin thinks.

Her style is disciplined, but forceful. She moves quickly, and adapts just as fast. It’s not a style he recognises. He guesses she’s had some formal training, but has otherwise learned through experience. It makes her skilled though, possibly even more than him.

Soon the two are in a lock, blades pressed together, both of them gritting their teeth in effort.

Padme pushes his blade out the way, throwing off Anakin’s balance and his blade skitters to the side.

Anakin falls backward, and Padme has her blade at his chest, a triumphant smirk on her face.

“Alright, you win!” Anakin concedes, putting his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender.

Padme puts her lightsaber away and offers him her hand. He takes it, and she pulls him up.

“I’m going to guess you’re a Sister, aren’t you?” Anakin asks.

“One of the originals, just like Ahsoka,” Padme replies with a laugh.

Anakin looks over at his daughter, who is cackling. “Did you know about this?” He demands, but his tone is light.

“Of course she did. She helped teach me to use a lightsaber, Anakin,” Padme explains.

“Your face when she pulled out her lightsaber!” Ahsoka exclaims while laughing.

“Yeah, yeah. I should have known. Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Anakin slings an arm around the still-snickering Ahsoka.

Padme gives him a fond look. “Sounds good to me. I could kill for some shurra fruit right now.”

He decides not to doubt that.

Iith has an official ball every year, and now the war is over, it appears people can afford to focus on it (much to its queen’s despair).

Padme obviously, as one of Iith’s top advisors, organises a great deal with it, and her eyes shine with pride on the night.

His children are happily talking to other people their age, others of a new generation of Jedi (and some of the old generation, in Ahsoka’s case).

He watches Ahsoka talking with the old apprentice of Master Billaba, Kanan, as he’s now called. He walks up and puts a hand on Ahsoka’s arm. “Hey kiddo, who’s this?”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes and smiles at him. “This is Kanan Jarrus, Sister Syndulla’s husband. Kanan, this is my father, Anakin Skywalker.”

Kanan looks at him with wide eyes and Anakin braces himself for the reaction he’s become quite used to getting. “General Skywalker. It’s an honour,” he says breathlessly.

Anakin almost has to steady himself. It’s been a very long time since anybody has reacted positively to meeting him. “Pleasure’s all mine. And please, call me Anakin.”

He chats with them for a bit, then he spots Padme being interrogated by some old lord. To anyone who knows her well, she looks horrendously annoyed at his questioning, but she seems to be keeping her cool.

He nudges Ahsoka through their bond, and she looks where he is looking out the corner of her eye.

“Hey Dad, maybe you should go rescue Mom,” she jokes.

“You’re right. See you round, Kanan.” He pats the starstruck man on the shoulder and walks over to where Padme is standing.

And suddenly he feels like that padawan again, baring his soul.

On reflection, the way he spoke on Naboo all that time ago back then was odd. He was just a kid and truly, he didn’t actually know Padme then, and he was way too forward about it. He’s glad it worked, but it was still weird.

He’ll do it right this time, if she still wants him.

“Sister Amidala, may I have the honour of a dance?” He shifts awkwardly, barely looking up at Padme.

When he does look, she seems relieved, in her diplomatic way. “I would be happy to oblige, General Skywalker.”

Anakin offers his hand, which she takes with all the grace of the Queen she once was.

She leads them both to the dance floor, and they slip easily into the dance, swaying side to side, and Anakin watches those around them stare. He decides he doesn’t care.

“Sorry for all that. He looked like he was being a sleemo so I thought I’d-” he stammers.

“Anakin. It’s fine. Thank you,” Padme says gently but firmly.

The silence isn’t uncomfortable this time. They sway, and he spins Padme, then almost falls backwards when he brings her back in. Padme very subtly uses the force to keep him balanced.

“Thanks,” he mutters.

Padme laughs softly. “You’re welcome.”

They get back into such a natural rhythm that it reminds him of the days in Padme’s apartment on Coruscant, where they’d play music and just dance the night away.

He supposes she must be thinking the same thing, because she rests her head on his shoulder, then starts back, remembering where they are.

“Hey-hey, it’s alright,” Anakin says quickly, as Padme looks horrified. “I don’t mind.”

“I- I just forgot,” Padme stammers. “I just-” she sighs. “Just because I’m angry at you doesn’t mean I don’t miss the time we spent together,” Padme admits.

“I miss it too,” Anakin confesses. “I did awful things. I’m trying to make it better. Our family-” he glances around at his kids, who, though scattered about the room, are all staring at them, “-are the most important thing to me. I’m so glad to finally have the chance to be with them.” He looks over at Obi-Wan, who is dancing with Satine. “I have my kids, and my brother, and I’ll do everything I can to fight for them.”

When he looks back at Padme, she is beaming. “It is good to be a family, finally, and not have to hide anything anymore.”

He meets her eyes, and smiles.

Kissing Padme feels like coming home.

—-

Ota- Mother/Mum (Boona)

[monamourbladie-mb]

padme x anakin x reader when’re the reader is a little self conscious about her appearance but the reassure her that they love her no matter what? (it’s totally fine if you’re not comfortable writing it!)

Sure! I don’t write polyamorous relationships, but I hope that this is at least somewhat of what you asked!

Insecurities - Anakin x Reader x Padme

Warnings: None

Words: 1k

Extra info: Anakin and Padme are in a relationship and Y/n is the only one that knows, and is very jealous. ALSO!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Never compare yourself to someone else. 💘 remember, hate leads to suffering. that includes self hate too. oh yeah, reader is a little tad bit gay for padme but tbh who isn’t

~*~

Y/n fought back tears as she saw her two best friends be all happy and in love together. Truth was, she was in love with Anakin since he was a little kid - but he was too star struck by Padme to look at her in any romantic way. Not only that, but she thought Padme was the most beautiful girl in the world - and wished she could look like her more than anything.

So to see who she thought was the most beautiful girl ever be in love with her longtime crush seriously crushed her. She couldn’t stand it anymore and ran away to hide in the bathroom, needing to take a breather.

She slammed the door shut and leaned against the doorframe, falling to her knees and crying. She never had anyone to bring up her confidence - so it was broken easily as it had just been minutes ago.

She began to cry as she realized that she would never truly have a chance with Anakin. She wasn’t pretty enough for him.

She and Anakin were sent to protect the Senator since she was trying to be murdered - so naturally the old friends grew close again, leaving Y/n to third wheel. Hard.

She stood up after a good few minutes of crying, seeing the mirror and immediately being disgusted by what she saw.

Your eyes aren’t the beautiful brown that Padme has. Your hair isn’t as curly and shiny as hers. Your hair is too short. You’re too (skin color). You’re too fat. Your nose is too big, your lips are too small. Your eyebrows are horrendous.

You are disgusting.

I hate you.

The longer she looked, the more she hated herself. She knew feelings were a path to the dark side, so she had tried for years to desperately forget about her insecurities. But being around Padme maximized them tenfold.

She started to break down again, losing any shred of confidence she had left in her.

All she wanted was something that made her feel good. Someone to tell her she looked gorgeous. Something, anything.


But she never got it. Jedi were forbidden to love, so why would any of them ever compliment her on anything other than her skills as a Padawan learner, soon to be Jedi?

She was torn from her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. She sniffled and froze, unsure of if she should speak or not.

“Y/n. I can hear you crying... and I can sense you’re hurt.”

It was Anakin. She gulped, trying to fix her tear-stained face, “I-i’m fine Anakin,” she lied, the broken inflection in her voice giving it away.

“No, you’re not,” Anakin sighed. “Please open the door,” Padme said as well.

Great. Both people who caused the insecurities were there.

She slowly opened the door, not meeting their gaze. “What?” she asked softly.

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Padme gasped, seeing how hurt she looked. She instantly brought her into a hug - and no matter how angry Y/n was, she hugged her back quickly, starting to cry again.

“I-it’s so stupid,” she mumbled, trying to stop the tears from flowing again.


Anakin wasn’t sure of what to do, so he sighed and watched Padme hug her, “Nothing is stupid, Y/n. Talk to us,” he said.

After a moment of nonstop tears, she finally was able to speak again. “I-i’m insecure,” she said softly, sniffling as Padme rubbed her back.

“About your Jedi skills?” Anakin asked. She shook her head no, “No. A-about how I look. I just hâte everything about myself. I always have. And no one has ever realized how insecure I am, and no one has tried to help me.”

Her lip quivered, embarrassed she was finally admitting that out loud. It sounded even more dumb out loud than it did in her head.

“Are you serious?” Padme sounded shocked, “Y/n, you are beautiful! Why would you feel like that?”

“It’s just...” Y/n stopped, taking a deep breath before letting everything out, “Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments. No romantic feelings. But this guy... this stupid, stupid man... I started falling for him. But he’s in love with someone else, even though he shouldn’t.” Anakin shifted uncomfortably. “And the girl he’s in love with is so... stunning. Everything about her is perfect. I don’t know how she’s real,” Y/n sighed. “I just wish I could be as beautiful as her. As kind, as funny as her...”

“Y/n, look at me.” Anakin couched down, and held her face in his hands gently. “You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. Why can’t you see that?”

Y/n’s heart leapt in her chest. That was the first time anyone ever said that to her - let alone her crush said that to her. “No one has ever said that to me, Anakin.” she teared up again, “No one. How am I supposed to know I’m beautiful if no one has said it to me?”

“I can promise you that many people believe that way...” he strokes her cheek softly, “they just haven’t had the courage to say it to you.”

“You are beautiful inside and out, Y/n. You can’t compare yourself to someone else... it’ll be your downfall,” Padme hugged her tightly. “If I’m being honest, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Many times I’ve been jealous of your natural beauty...” she sighed. “You don’t ever wear makeup, yet you look effortlessly beautiful. It’s not fair,” she pouted, and the two giggled. “You mean it?” Y/n sniffled, her confidence building back up.

“Yes.” she smiled, “We both do.”

Y/n smiled and pulled Anakin down for a tight hug between the three of them. She finally felt happy again - and truly beautiful for the first time in the stars know how long.

Even if Anakin didn’t like her back, hearing him call her beautiful was good enough for her. And to know that the woman she wanted to be thought she was gorgeous was the cherry on top of it all.

Y/n felt very lucky to have Anakin and Padme by her side to lift her up when she was hurt and insecure. She loved them both very much... and to know that they loved her too made her very, very happy.

[bellamyblakru]

HEYYYYYYY i’m so excited to respond to ur ask it made me so happy to see u in my notifs and i’m so excited for u for ur milestone! anyways i kinda want all of them but i decided to cut down to 🥺 :)))) 👀 pls rant i will read it all and ☕️ for morgwen andddd manon from the tog books. <3 <3 :*

HEY AMY!!! i hope you had a lovely day today🥺thank you for the ask💞

🥺- for my mutuals, ill talk about why i follow you and why everyone should be as well

omg im pretty sure i met and started following you like the day of that bellamy scene™️ because i remember thinking how fucking horrendous that episode ended, and, at the same time, how amazing that night on tumblr was aksnakaaj. so that night, tumblr was a fucking disaster and chaotic and funny asf. i remember texting @tkstrrand the entire ep (bc she couldn’t watch it for some reason) like how boring it was/how she wasn’t missing much blahblah and then when the death scene happened at the last fucking second, i sent her about a thousand separate incoherent texts in the span of like two minutes LOL tumblr was in shambles and i made a few posts about how fucking dumb the show was—one post i made i told my few new followers to fuck the 100 and just watch merlin and you texted me about it!! we have literally so much in common (with merlin, atla, the 100, tog!!!) that when you texted me about how you felt about that scene compared to merlin’s ending, my thought was like “this blog is so kind and we feel the same way and i need to follow asap.”

you are literally so sweet and lovely to talk to🥺that night™️ may had been disastrous, but i can look on it with a lighter heart because we met because of it!! every time we talk i always smile so much (and dw, i know i still have to get clone wars for our boy anakin👀👀)

dude, everyone should be following you because your blog is incredible, your tags are superb, and you are literally one of the sweetest people i’ve met on here😭💞 i adore you.

👀 - and ill tell you a parallel from merlin or the 100 that still fucks me up

this post for merthur still FUCKS ME UP by @camelotsheart

THE EYES. THE GIFSET’S BEAUTIFUL COLORING. THE EYES. EYES. I CANT. THIS GIFSET HAUNTS ME. parallels, man, i fucking love them.

☕️ + send me a ship/character/movie/book and ill give you my opinions on it

my opinions on morgwen:

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I SHIP IT WITH MY WHOLE ASS SOUL. dude, their potential as a ship is incredible😭i fucking love them together. i wrote them as a side pairing in my first multi-chapter merthur fic and i adored writing their interactions and dynamic sm. if morgana was going to be with anyone, my first choice will always be gwen. i also read them as a pairing in fics all the time because the pure power-couple potential is insane.

hot ☕️ here™️: i think if someone was to bring morgana back from the brink of hatred, it should have been gwen (not merlin). so, like, i could definitely see merlin telling her about his magic and whatnot and maybe that would have stopped her from going dark side...but...i didn’t think merlin should have (ekk probably an unpopular opinion).

see, i love merlin with my entire heart..and tbh telling uther fucking pendragon’s ward that he had magic was just too much of a gamble—especially with arthur’s life on the line, which literally became merlin’s sole purpose in life (another matter for a different essay™️). i understand his need to keep it a secret from her even more when the large reptile repeatedly got into merlin’s head that she was bad news from the jump (also another matter for a different essay™️).

SO. that leaves two options for our miserable magical gal: arthur or gwen. now, i honestly believe arthur wouldn’t have hurt her if he was told. and i even think he may have became more sympathetic to the magical community because of it—especially when he saved mordred wayyyy early on that cemented the fact that arthur was not uther. but i can also understand why morgana wouldn’t tell arthur, and it’s pretty much the same reason merlin didn’t tell her about his magic: the risk was too big and she didn’t want to gamble her life with an unknown reaction.

now we get to the main point: gwen would have been the best option for her. whether it is platonic or not, gwen was always there for morgana. gwen is such a kind, loving soul, and she deeply respected and adored morgana—you can tell by the way she smiled around her in the beginning seasons, how she would get her flowers, how she would worry about morgana’s wellbeing. even though gwen was morgana’s servant, she cared for her in more ways than were required and it showed. they were best friends. the entire incident with gwen’s father, which was horrendous, might be the reason gwen would be rightfully upset about the subject of magic; however. she knew her father wasn’t magical, she knew uther was a tyrant, and she knew morgana’s heart. someone is gonna tell me that if morgana had explained to gwen what happened, how her magic was innate, how morgana would never fucking choose to have magic anywhere near her shithead guardian (who probably would have killed her imo if he knew bc you know the whole “fire will purify” bullshit), that gwen would hate her??? I MEAN LITERALLY WATCH THE LAST EPISODES AGAIN. when QUEEN GWEN realizes that the whole time it was merlin saving everyone’s asses, and she connected all the dots, her face showed nothing but pure understanding and acceptance.

gwen was such an underused character. her fucking potential arcs could have been phenomenal (again, LOL, another matter for a different essay™️), and the way canon made morgana use gwen was fucking gross and im not a fan🙃 but fuck canon. i ship them and i love them to pieces ✌🏻thank you for coming to my talk✌🏻

my opinions on manon mf blackbeak:

oh boy, where do i start? i would die for her...is that too extreme for the starting place? i fucking LOVE manon blackbeak dude. oh my god, so, remember when her and aelin fought for the first time in QoS? i remember jumping up from my lounging position with my hand over my smiling mouth because i love both of these badass hardcore women with everything i am. i mean, aelin owns my ass (she is probably my favorite character of all time rn) but manon hits differently. her storyline at the beginning was so bleh, but, man, did it escalate fast to “holy shit” to “i fucking love her” to “oh fuck im sobbing.”

the only thing i will complain about with her character in canon was the fact that my girl was straight???? excuse me?? she has been alive for fucking forever and she is straight? no. i cant accept that. tbh i ship manon and elide🥺 (i also ship dorain and chaol oops). but her character development was everything and i cant think too long on what happens because i will start crying tbh sksjsmakks

okay wow im so sorry for, uh, spilling every thought i had into this. it legit took me like a day to respond 😔

i appreciate you so much. thank you🥺💞

[kelpiemist]

Far, Far Away In The Hundred Acre Woods (Where My Heart Lay) (2/2)

He visits the Woods less-and-less. 

The War takes up most of his time and when he’s not being kidnapped, he’s too busy being Rako Hardeen because the Council wants him to. Anakin stops speaking to him and when he does, it’s stilted and Obi-Wan can feel the raw anger hidden in his Former Padawan’s tone.

Ashoka… Ahsoka still hasn’t forgiven him either.

Obi-Wan hides his pain and continues fighting. He has no choice, he has to.

Has to.

 

------ -------

Siri dies. Maul breaks half of Obi-Wan’s ribs. Ventress saves him. Kadavo happens. Ashoka leaves. Satine dies.

Anakin still hates him.

------ ------

The War comes to an abrupt end one stormy day when Obi-Wan kills Grievous and trusts Cody. 

Obi-Wan trusts Cody and turns his back and they shoot him off the cliff. The water sends an icy shock through his system, along with the dawning realisation that Cody and his men had just tried to kill him. 

The Jedi die and the Force screams and sobs.

Why, he begs silently, tears streaming down his face even as his skull burns from the sudden snap-crack of bonds.

Why?

 

----- ------

I trusted you and you tried to kill me. 

Anakin, do you really hate me that much? 

Cody, I’m sorry for whatever I did, I’m sorry I should have done better I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.

------ ------- 

Master Yoda and him are the only survivors. Padme dies, giving birth to twins. Luke and Leia burn brightly in the Force and Obi-Wan loves them fiercely. He knows in that moment that he would do anything for them. Leia is going to be raised by Bail on Alderaan. 

Master Yoda tells him to take Luke to Tatooine.

 

-------- -------

If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart, I’ll stay there forever. 

------ ------

Twin suns blister his skin. He pulls his tattered robes tighter around his weary body, ignoring the sheen of sweat that covers his pale skin. The place that he lives in is horrendous, and not because of its squalor condition. The ghosts hide in the shadows and all the fears and pain that he had suppressed comes surging out in pulsating waves.

It sends him to his knees.

The Woods are gone, burned with the Jedi Temple, and there’s no way out of this nightmare.

 

-------- --------

Promise you won’t forget me ever?

-------- -------

He doesn’t let himself forget. The mere reminder of his old life burns like sandpaper against his mind but the pain is good. He grits his teeth and remembers.

He has to remember.

------ ------

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.

------ ------

 

The container is old and worn. It contains his meagre belongings inside. It’s small but it’s important to him because it is the last traces of his old life. His hand, battle-hardened and calloused, trembles as he carefully pulls out his lightsaber. The kyber hums in his hand for the first time in over a decade, and something inside him cracks.

He swallows past the lump in his sore throat, reaching back down. A few credits brush against his scarred palm. A small card from Bant for his Life-day when he was ten standard and she was alive.  The contents shift slightly.

His mouth drops open in a small ‘o’ of numb shock.

Oh, he thinks, raising a shaking his against his mouth, even as a yellow and red coloured blur clambered up and tackles him in a hug. He lets himself be caught up in the hug, falling to his knees as tears course down his face even as he shivered despite the heat. 

“I haven’t thought about you in years.” He admitted, his voice cracking.

Pooh looks at him with wide-eyed eagerness and innocence. “Well, we think about you every day.”

Obi-Wan lets out a strangled choke at that. “I’ve cracked. I’m broken.”

His friend peers up earnestly at him. “Oh, I don’t see any cracks or breaks. A few wrinkles, maybe.”

A startled noise escapes his throat. “I’m not the person I used to be.” He warns, even as more of his friends climb out of the container. 

Tigger bounces out, a spring in his step, even as Rabbit clambers out carefully, brushing off dust from his non-existent clothes. Piglet peeks his pink head out shyly while Eeyore grunts, pulling himself out of the container. Kanga and Roo climb out too, twin-smiles on their faces radiant enough to challenge the suns of Tatooine.

“You saved us.” Pooh says warmly, grabbing Obi-Wan’s leg in a hug. “You’re a hero.”

A wet sob tears out of his throat. “I’m not a hero, Pooh.”

Fire burning around him - 

- the cold hiss of lightsaber slicing through flesh -

- Anakin screaming as his body catches fire

“The fact is,” Obi-Wan swallows. “I’m lost.”

He’s lost in a battlefield of bodies, a mist of suffering suffocating him even as his heart cries out and he mourns. He’s lost, wandering aimlessly and he’s useless, so useless. He is so scared and he doesn’t know what to do. 

Pooh’s hand touches his face gently. “But I found you.”

For the first time in a long time, a laugh escapes his throat. It’s raw and more than a little broken, but it’s still there. 

Obi-Wan laughs and laughs, until his breath hitches and it turns into sobs. He cries in the safety and love of the Hundred Acre Woods that followed him from the Temple to here, because Pooh Bear, sweet wonderful Pooh refused to let him go.

[astudyinimagination]

I know other people have done this take before, and I’m not sure why my head decided that I should do my version of this take now? But also I think it’s never a bad time for it.

This take comes in two parts which basically say the same thing, but I think it’s really important to have the two parts, so here it goes:

Anakin Skywalker did not eff over the galaxy

and

Palpatine never needed Anakin Skywalker; he only wanted him

After everything that Anakin/Vader did, he didn’t eff over the galaxy? ...well, not quite. Yes, he could have attempted to kill Palpatine, although it’s uncertain that he could have succeeded. But that aside, let’s look at what he did do:

Disarm (literally, sorry) Mace Windu, allowing Palpatine to kill him (Palpatine proceeds to prove that he was anything but weakened in that moment and more than capable of killing Mace on his own.

Lead the clone trooper assault on the Jedi Temple. Now look, I’m not at all downplaying the horror of what happened there. Of what Anakin did. At the same time, it is a literal “women and children” scenario. The clones are skilled enough to slaughter the teachers and children on their own, and even if they hadn’t been, Palpatine could have corrupted any Force user with decent combat skills to lead this assault. Having someone with as much battlefield prowess as Anakin is sheer, horrendous overkill.

Slaughter the Separatist leadership. Dooku is already dead (by Anakin’s own hand, and Palpatine could probably have done that himself if necessary), as is Grievous, via Obi-Wan. Only the noncombatant leadership of the Confederacy of Independent Systems is left, and Palpatine could just as easily have sent a clone trooper unit in to “clean up the mess.”

More or less cause Padmé’s death. Despite the fact that, again, just about anybody could probably have actually killed poor Padmé, it’s worth noting that it’s a big deal that she does die, right at the start of the Empire. But again, anybody could have killed her, and Palpatine, I think, probably wants her to die as soon as possible. She is at the forefront of the Delegation of 2,000, and she is making herself too much of a liability.

Destroy himself. Anakin could have been a very powerful weapon against Palpatine, but not only does he join him, he also spiritually and physically ruins himself. This one is totally on him. Only Anakin Skywalker could destroy Anakin Skywalker (and at the same time, only Anakin Skywalker can make the choice to come back; even Luke can’t choose that for him).

Directly murder, and directly change countless lives. There is no way to tally the damage Anakin does to people around the galaxy. We can’t measure it. He murders Force only knows how many people, and he changes/ruins even more lives as a result. It’s worth noting, however, that Anakin needs nothing more than basic Dark Sider skills to wreak havoc and instill fear. The Inquisitorius exists purely to hunt down and eradicate Jedi—he isn’t necessary even for that task, at least until the Inquisitors fail. Palpatine doesn’t even need a face of terror for his Empire, although it’s certainly handy—and yet, even Tarkin proves just in one movie that he can handle that show more or less on his own. When presented to him, Leia immediately knows that Tarkin is a bigger threat than Vader, and indeed, it’s Tarkin’s idea to destroy a habited Core World.

Basically, just about everything that Anakin does to help Palpatine, from killing Dooku to acting as the Emperor’s iron fist, Palpatine could have done himself or found someone else to do. Palpatine sets his plans in motion long before he knows of Anakin’s existence (Naboo is blockaded and invaded first, and this is Palpatine’s easy ticket to the highest seat of political power in the galaxy.) In no way is Anakin Skywalker actually necessary for Palpatine’s takeover of the galaxy.

So why does Palpatine corrupt him and use him?

Because Anakin Skywalker is the most powerful Force sensitive ever.

Palpatine has one hell of a god complex. You pretty much have to to take over an entire galaxy.

And what self-described god could resist the opportunity to enslave someone so powerful?

“We will be watching your career with great interest.” No kidding. Anakin has no second human parent; he is literally half the Force itself. Can you imagine what that would feel like to someone attuned to the Force? Anakin must have felt like the binary suns themselves, hot and blazingly brilliant.

Anakin, by virtue of what he is, is more powerful than Palpatine could ever hope to be. Manipulating him and ensnaring him until he was almost too far under his power to think straight must have been an incredible high.

You are manipulating the most powerful Force user ever into your control.

He has no idea that you are doing that.

He will never dare to consider the possibility that he can overpower you.

You are stealing the Jedi Order’s own Chosen One away from them.

(It’s worth noting that even though Anakin does twice entertain the notion of overthrowing Palpatine, it is only, so far as the films go, with his family at his side: first his wife and then his son. Further worth noting is that, having been rejected by Luke once, Anakin does not entertain the idea again. When he delivers his son to the Emperor, it is to deliver Luke as a slave, with no hope of overthrowing his Master this time.)

And so Palpatine keeps Darth Vader alive, and chained, simply because he can. He has no need of the Chosen One; he never did. But to have turned Anakin against the Jedi, use him against them, and keep him on his knees before his Master, a shell of his former self?

Of course he does.

So when Palpatine blasts Mace Windu to death with renewed Force lightning, and screams that he has absolute power, it’s not just that he’s about to declare himself Emperor of the galaxy and people will cheer. It’s that Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One, is standing on a tipping point, and he decides, and tips to the Dark. Thirteen years of emotional manipulation come to their climax.

Anakin Skywalker is his.

“Absolute power,” indeed.

[dgcatanisiri]

So. Did see Rise of Skywalker today.

“Flawed, but probably as good as we were going to get” is my two cent summary, especially given some of the whispers I’m hearing about what went on behind the scenes that, in effect, this was “the Disney shareholder’s” trilogy more than any individual, and I think you all can guess my opinion of the Disney shareholders in general... (plus the inevitable difficulty of trying to unify two movies that honestly had a lot of tonal and thematic clash to begin with).

You want more details, they’re behind the cut, because I’m going to respect the spoiler tags.

First things first, let me get this out of the way first, Kelly Marie Tran and Rose Tico DESERVED. BETTER. Like, bare minimum, I think there should have been a scene between her and Rey at the start while Rey is reading the Jedi tomes. Just a little something that connects the two. Better still, use her as a touchstone character for what’s happening at the Resistance base in the first half - yeah, sure, you can only do so much with the jiggered footage of Carrie Fisher, but SO. WHAT. Leia doesn’t have to be in those scenes. 

Hell, have her and Connix talk, considering that Connix was significant enough to both be in charge of the D’Qar evacuation AND Poe’s right hand during the mutiny. Since Connix is played by Billie Lourd, Carrie Fisher’s daughter, it’d have been a fine connection there, especially if you want to include some foreshadowing of Leia’s eventual death, talk about them being concerned about the way that the General is handling everything happening, losing everyone so close to her.

Like, that’s the off the top of my head ways to enhance Rose’s part in this movie without significantly altering any of the plot. Truthfully, I think she should have been part of the group the whole time anyway. 

I still don’t particularly like the return of Palpatine as the big bad, meaning that we’re pretty much completely undermining the end of the original trilogy. I mean, wasn’t that what Anakin Skywalker’s death in Return of the Jedi meant? At least when the Legends line brought him back, it was a) still during the post-RotJ war clean up, where the Empire was still fighting after Endor, still part of the same war, and b) left ambiguous enough if that was genuinely Palpatine or just a clone that claimed to be the original Palpatine.

But I can also appreciate the thematic relevance of Palpatine, the Emperor, Darth Sidious, whatever name he uses, being the overarching villain of the Skywalker Saga. So... We’ll call it even? Meh.

I will RELUCTANTLY allow the idea of Leia sacrificing herself to pull back her son from the dark side, mostly on the basis of being limited by the footage of Carrie Fisher, so using her death to have story meaning can be tolerated. Still don’t like it - I have firmly been of the believe that, given all the times he made the active choice to be evil, he could not simply return to the light, be redeemed or forgiven. But since he did, ultimately, die, I will allow it - I’m only going to be able to view his death as, effectively, him making the only effort at atonement that could be done, stopping Palpatine, before his true penance came in not being able to be a part of the galaxy he helped to save.

That said, I do NOT accept the kiss. I will only even possibly pretend it happened under the pretense of being a heat of the moment victory thing that meant nothing. Because FUCK REYLOW.

First half of the movie is HORRENDOUSLY compacted. Like, I legit feel like there was a good fifteen minutes or more hacked out of it. Too much is happening right off the bat and just doesn’t stop. It settles down eventually, but MAN could that have done with less compression.

Honestly, overall, it feels like at least two movies crammed into one, like Disney refused to split it up because “but it’s a TRILOGY!” Which, uh... Not to open the “TLJ discourse” can of worms, but... That was always going to happen, considering the massive tonal clash between Abrams and Johnson as writers and directors. Especially with Johnson having basically done nothing that would advance a core arc, by way of having the main characters of the trilogy interact - TLJ had Rey, Finn, and Poe all in different plots in separate areas, which made no sense to begin with, considering these were supposed to be the core characters, shouldn’t they have actually gotten to interact sooner? 

Like I said in the summary, TFA and TLJ have little that actually connects them. In the sense of creating a coherent narrative, it’s not unreasonable that Abrams downplayed a lot of Johnson’s elements, considering that Johnson did the same with elements Abrams included in TFA - Finn’s potential Force affinity (I’ll get to that), the Knights of Ren (suddenly back with no explanation), the conscription of child soldiers as stormtroopers (which really SHOULD have been a core part of TLJ, instead of the child slavery on Canto Bight, considering it mattered to Finn’s character as already established), the idea that Luke had been searching for something (because why would he have left a map to where he was going in TFA if, as TLJ said, he went to Ach-to to wait for death?)... TRoS was always going to be in a bind on these things, and, really, considering that neither film prior was written with an ending in mind, there was no real solution but to just dance around the subject.

Let’s talk briefly about the Poe background stuff, which... *sigh* It was so POINTLESS to introduce the idea that he was a drug dealer. Like, first of all, RACIST AS FUCK to make the Latino man a drug dealer. Secondly, when and how, considering his canon back story is that he is the son of minor Rebel heroes, how did he have the time for this to happen? Third and not least, the guy’s an ace pilot, why WOULDN’T he know about hotwiring vehicles? He should know them inside and out!

Zorii is... There. That’s about all I really can say about her. Same with Jannah. Both of these felt like characters who SHOULD have had more relevance, had they been introduced sooner (and in which case, I’d toss Zorii and swap in Rose anyway). Considering they’re dropped in at the last second as they are, they honestly end up just feeling like props meant to portray Poe and Finn as straight, which... 

Okay, Disney overlords are homophobic cowards. Let’s just acknowledge that right off. Finn/Poe was a ship that was never going to be allowed off the ground. We all knew it going in. So make Finn/Rey a thing and let Poe be read as gay, even if it’s not said. It would have been that simple. TFA laid the foundation, and that hug in TLJ was a good building block as well. But no. You have to be cowards and not “rock the boat” by both not having an interracial relationship AND trying to appease the Reylows. Ugh.

Anyway, any and all flirtation between Poe and Zorii is PURE mlm/wlw joking with one another. Stormpilot is endgame. Rey/Rose is real. Fuck Disney and fuck canon. MOVING ON.

Also on that note, FINN IS FORCE SENSITIVE, GODDAMMIT. The adamant refusal to acknowledge this REALLY pisses me off, because Finn is a PERFECT mirror to Kylo Ren and should have been his counterpart throughout this trilogy - Finn was a nameless stormtrooper with no past, Kylo was the heir to legacies, Finn refused to slaughter innocents, Kylo gave that order. Finn embraced the Resistance, Kylo led the First Order. THIS is the duality of characters that should have driven this trilogy. I’m not trying to take away Rey’s significance, but...

When people complain about Rey’s lineage, I’m just not all that big on this matter. First of all, I was neutral on the subject from day one. As time has gone on, however, I have reached a point where I’m just ‘...well, yeah, of course she’s got an important lineage.’ Because TFA made a big deal of this fact. This was her driving motivation. On top of that, TLJ trying the “they were nobodies” thing actually legit pisses me off, because what abandoned child just casually accepts “they were nobodies”? Even if they weren’t significant (which, again, by way of Maz and the lightsaber calling to her in TFA, there was a strong implication of them being significant, particularly with the stage directions in the script for Luke and Leia when interacting with Rey), they weren’t nobodies FOR HER. But TLJ basically has her discard the search casually.

So you want a hero who comes from nothing? Again, may I present FINN, the stormtrooper who came from nothing, who should have been leading a stormtrooper uprising, who should have gotten to be a Jedi, who DESERVED BETTER THAN THIS TRILOGY GAVE HIM...

Gah. Okay. I’m tired of ranting about the things that I didn’t like. There ARE positives, I swear!

Chewie’s breakdown over Leia’s death about broke me. Like, the moment he collapses... God, that was choking me up an hour later, too. How much it must hurt Chewie and Lando to be the only ones left... Honestly, I was half afraid that the Falcon would be destroyed during that final conflict. 

Honestly, I know the idea was that Han’s appearance was just a figment, a manifestation of the inner thoughts, but I’m going to call it confirmation of Han being Force sensitive. Mostly because I picture Han losing his shit at the idea. And, honestly, I can’t help but wish that, at the least, we could have had Leia appear there, but we weren’t going to get that either way.

Speaking of Leia, honestly, I think they did the best they could with what they had of her, and, truthfully, I think it was a fine tribute to Carrie, to have Leia there, die within the context of this movie, and not just die off between films. Yes, it bound their hands some, but... It wouldn’t have been right without her, either. 

Though I do reiterate that the binding with the footage is no excuse for hacking Rose practically out of the film entirely.

I focused on the issues I had against the movie, mostly because I feel like they stood out more than the things that I liked. The problem this trilogy has had since day one is that they went into this without a plan. This trilogy never knew where it was going until this movie came along. So two movies of basically throwing everything at the wall, leading to one movie having to tie it all up. This movie was always going to struggle, but in the end, I think it probably came out as best as it could.

If you want to call that damning with faint praise... I suppose it sort of is, but, more truthfully, it’s seeing it for what it is and judging it as such. This movie was hobbled before it could walk, that it managed what it did as well as it did is really a tribute to those who tried to make it work.

I feel like that’s all the major things I have to bring up right now. Though I will add... Yeah, let’s be real. They call this the end of the Skywalker Saga, but in twenty years or so, we’re going to get a fourth trilogy. Because we’re basically at the point of “every generation’s going to have their own Star Wars trilogy.”