#and EVERY time i sing the chorus the second half starts with ''take her bat and tommy englands erased / cant remember his face''

[doctorwhoisadhd]

tommy england

HES LITERALLY JUST SOME GUY HE DOESNT DO MUCH. ALL HE GOT WAS JOKE LORE ABOUT BEING A TEABOO WHICH IS FUNNY BUT LIKE HE DIDNT EVEN GET TEAM DYNAMICS.

soemtimes im like damn i need to amke more Thomas England content cause if i dont Literally No One Else Will and then i remember i literally Did Write An Wntire Song About It

[ageofevermore]

The Sun Met The Moon

SUMMARY — and finally the sun and the moon met, and they fell madly in love 

WORD COUNT — 2.5k

NOTE — part three to part one + part two

───── ･ ｡ﾟ☆ﾟ: *. ☽ .* : ☆ﾟ. ─────

alex’s drums:

Sweat clung to his brow and shone in the golden light of midday. She smiled at the sight of him, stripped of all awareness and singled in on the task at hand. He had Alex’s drumsticks between his fingers, and a black ballpoint pen between his teeth. She watched him for a while, tracing the flex of his biceps every time he beat at the mounted toms. A blush of sheer adoration spread across her stomach lining, unleashing that same kaleidoscope of butterflies through her being that she had been introduced to weeks ago. Maybe it was too soon to say she loved him, but she could see the rest of her tomorrows in his arms. 

“Hey, Ghostie.” She smiled at him from halfway across the room, advancing with less stealth now that he was aware of her presence. “What’cha working on?” She questioned. When her bare torso brushed against the snare drums, she leaned forward to kiss his lips sweetly. He tilted his chin upwards and pushed his bottom lip out, asking for another just seconds after she pulled away from the first. 

“Just some new instrumentals.” He mumbled, setting the drumsticks and ballpoint pen aside on the floor tom. He reached for her hands, mumbling a gentle breathed, “come here”, and pulled her down into his lap when his hands could guide her waist. Luke smiled against her neck when she giggled, turning her head so she could tickle his ear with kisses. 

“What are you doing?” She giggled when his hot breath tickled the patch of skin his tongue had just caressed. He was being his usually sweet self, though something else was prompting these touchy motives. “Alex is going to kill us if we mess up his drums.” She pulled away from the lips on her neck when they began to distract her, and instead she leveled her eyes with his. 

“Said you wanted to play the drums with me.” Luke smiled, nipping at her lips when she pulled them tight in a sheepish grin. She broke out into a full fledged smile at his silliness, cupping his cheeks with her hands and pulling his lips to hers in a proper kiss. “Put your foot on that pedal.” His arms looped around her waist, holding her tightly against him so she wouldn’t slip away from his touch when they started. “That’s the bass pedal. Push it every four counts and when we get to the pre chorus every eight, yeah?” 

Luke had gone through relationships and heartbreaks prior to what he had with Mia, but he had never been with someone who understood music like she did. He hadn’t ever met anyone like Mia. 

hair braiding:

She left him with Julie and the boys while the sun was still high, letting the band get a few solid hours of practice in without her distraction. She loved Luke, but he was incapable of getting anything done while she lingered, always wanting a cuddle or a kiss. It was cute, made her feel desirable, but she feared it would get annoying for their friends. 

She felt his gentle breath against her neck before she felt his arms snaking around her waist, pulling her back into his chest. She didn’t care that his hands were cold as he wiggled them between the waistband of her shorts and dug them into the flesh of her hips. She was just thankful that she still got to feel him against her.

“How was the rest of rehearsal?” She asked softly, reaching her hand up to gently twist silky strands of his milk chocolate locks.  Her nails scratched against his scalp, encouraging his arms fall heavy across her sides for a few blissful seconds. She strained against his hold, but he didn’t seem to notice her writhing, or when she let out a soft whine of discontent. 

Luke went on about practice, and the song he and Julie introduced to the boys. His smile was evident against her neck, and this time he noticed when she flexed against his hold and tried to twist in his arms. His retelling of practice seized, a smile cradling his lips as he squeezed her tighter, keeping her still. 

“What are you trying to do?” Luke taunted, watching her strain once more before admitting surrender to his tight eskomo embrace. He kissed a path along her neck, but it did nothing to distract her from her ultimate goal. 

“Let me hold you.” She managed through smiles and hums when his lips tickled her skin, heating the already dangerously hot exposed skin. Luke broke out into a full fledged grin, biting gently at the hollow of her neck.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders loosely, digging  her fingers into his hair, and smiling contently.  His head was heavy on her chest, but the weight was welcomed greedily. She loved just getting to hold him like this, considering most days he was pulling her into his lap and showering her with love. Absentmindedly, she had twisted strands of shaggy brown hair into a french braid. 

reggie + alex being younger siblings: 

Mia and Luke had finally settled down in the basement for a movie night. Julie had been the cover story, though once Mia’s parents were convinced of the girls sleepover, she snuck out of the window and made a mad dash for Flynn’s. 

Mia grinned at the blue reflecting off of Luke’s eyes. She had seen Mamma Mia more than a handful of times, in fact it was her favorite modern musical, but Luke had never experienced it, and watching him was better then any scene between Meryl and Amanda. 

“Do you like it?” She grinned eagerly, watching Luke’s smile widen when he looked down at her expression of sheer excitement. 

She nearly shrieks when Reggie’s voice sounds instead of Luke’s, and her head snaps to the side to find both Alex and Reggie curled up in two spare blankets. Luke looks majorly annoyed, forcing a glare at his bandmates. 

“What are you doing here?” He seethed, not lightening up despite the amused smile growing on Mia’s lips. 

“You said it was movie night.” Reggie shrugged. “You know, Mia, this isn’t what I expected from you.” He vocalized, not batting an eye when Luke threw his head back in exasperation and threw a handful of popcorn in his direction. The leather clad brunette hummed, picking up a popped kernel and throwing it into his mouth, nodding towards Alex in confirmation of it’s good taste. 

“So much for date night.” She whispers into Luke’s chest, though she was just happy to be beside her boyfriend and sharing her favorite film with him. 

pre show + post show cuddles: 

Luke’s head was buried in the crook of her neck, his anxious fingertips digging into the flesh of her hips. Julie and the Phantoms were playing the Orpheum, again, and his nerves were unrelenting in their assault towards his confidence. 

“It’s gonna be great, baby.” She whispered into his ear, fingers twisting at the loose strands of hair that had slipped from the two braids down his scalp. She pulled the elastic tighter, laughing when Luke winced. “You’ll be great.” 

“Phantom’s your on in 5!”

Luke squeezed her waist tighter, though whatever nerves had plagued him just seconds ago seemed to dismantle. He was hyping himself up, thrilled by the approaching gig. He got so in his head that he forgot he loved this, it just took a couple braids and kisses to set his confidence back. 

“You’ve got your bearings now?” She teased, kissing Luke’s nose and standing from his lap. She held her hands out for him, helping him up and off of the chair. The blue eyed boy nodded, shaking out his hands and forcing a wide grin onto his lips that had her laughing. “Go knock your socks off, Rockstar.” 

-

Luke made a b-line for her after their set wrapped, his sweaty body pinning her in a hug while she squealed and tried to worm away. 

“Luke! You’re disgusting. You’re all sweaty.” She whined. Her arms were pinned to her sides and her face was pressed into his chest, filling her with only the scent and feel of his sweaty and smelly body. “Stop it!” She threw her head backwards with a laugh, somehow managing to break away from his embrace. 

The braids she had tied into his hair were dripping with sweat so much so that the elastic was falling to the ends of his chocolate locks. She bats at his chest, nodding in the direction of the showers around the corner, “Go take a shower, smelly ellie.” 

Luke breaks out into a grin, forcing a ket kiss to her cheek before rushing off in the direction of the communal bathroom and showers, chasing Alex and Reggie who had clearly had the same idea. 

guitar lessons: 

“These chords right?” She looked up with the same crescent moons in her eyes that Luke had fallen in love with. She had yet to stop trying to impress him, getting better and better at her musical craft by the day.

“Exactly.” Luke smiled, blue eyes glistening releasing the same kaleidoscope of monarchs in her stomach. “Move down to G, baby.” Luke instructed softly, not wanting to break the soft focus she held. He motioned to the neck of his own guitar, smiling widely when she mimicked his actions and strummed the same note. 

Seeing her tongue poke out from between her strawberry lemonade lips when she focused and the crinkle of her nose every time she smiled up at him in delight made his half ghostly heart jump. 

When she went down to the wrong chord again, and frustratingly looked up at Luke with stars in her waterline, he reached over and adjusted her positioning. His fingers lingered around hers for longer than was needed, but neither party minded as they shared a highly sought after moment. 

“You play it.” She whispered, having had enough of her own lessons for the day, wanting to focus instead on her boyfriend's delicate craft. 

Luke smiled complying to her demand, nodding her along to sing the softly aged lyrics, “Here comes the sun…” 

finger kiss to lips thing: 

She’s rambling. She knows that she’s rambling yet she can’t bring herself to stop. Luke had opened a wormhole of thoughts and hadn’t expected the emotional breakdown to follow. Her hands are fisting at his t-shirt, but her eyes are alight with wild emotion that he’s never seen before. She’s dangling over the edge and he’s unsure of how to pull her back to safety. 

“Baby.” He tries, pointer finger beneath her chin and directing her attention to himself, “Baby girl. Mia.” Her eyes fall on his but she’s still a mess of hiccups and syllables, shuddering out apologies between every harsh intake of breath her lungs don’t reject. She’s gotten herself so worked up she can’t calm down. She wants him to understand her, but she knows that the more she talks the less he will. 

“That’s not what I meant! Of course I want to spend forever with you, I mean, if you want to spend forever with me. I just, I didn’t mean--” She rambles, her eyes pinching tightly when she understands the bending of Luke’s expression. 

Luke watches her struggle for a moment more, wishing he could just fill the miniscule amount of time before her next sob and tell her she had nothing to worry about. He wanted to spend forever with her as well; he loved her, but every time he tried to talk she shook her head and looked frantic. 

Finally, he pulled his middle and pointer finger together, pressing them to his lips before smothering them against hers. Mia’s eyes drew wide as she tried to comprehend what just happened, but Luke only smiled at the silence at her doe-like expression. 

“I love you too.” 

forgetting they can feel each other: 

They’re working together on a song, surrounded by broken picks and instruments. Julie’s keyboard is on the ground by her thighs and drumsticks are poking out from the tops of Luke’s ears. He’s nearly inverbal, mumbling broken words to her from behind pens and picks, but the sight of him pulls her heart in further. 

She plays another melody on the keys, coupling it with the notes Luke had insisted on. It sounds sweet in her ears, and Luke looks up with a smile when it draws him away from his concentration with lyrics. A pick is between his teeth again, so the compliment he tries to throw at her is muffled and close to uninterpretable, but she understands him. She understands everything about him. She understands why he holds her for as long as he can and why he pops into her classes at random. She understands the way he mumbles behind his hands and pens and picks, and why he insists on her making the two of them food even when he’s capable of it. She gets it. 

Luke watched Mia bring her lip between her teeth, eyes scanning the workspace before she lands sight on a faded leather notebook. Her path is blocked by his body, but she doesn’t pay it any mind as she pushes onto her hands and makes a start for the lyric book. 

Her head collides with Luke’s chest firsts before she falls uncomfortably over the guitar and into his arms, looking bewildered for a moment before she’s brought back to the reality of Luke’s status. She can touch him now, it’s not like three weeks ago when they were condemned to ghostly hovering. 

“If you wanted me to hold you, all you had to do was ask.” Luke beamed, moving the guitar aside so he could cuddle her properly. Mia’s cheeks flushed, “Did you forget you could feel me? Well, maybe I have to remind you.” 

HONORABLE MENTIONS — the three times mia knew luke was in love with her and the seven she thought he was in love with reggie:

TAGLIST — @r0s3mm @midnightmagicmusings​ @joshy-obx​ @parkeret​

[sunflowers-rae]

Pray - Katsuki Bakugo

The first in a possible song inspired series called Stage Fright

Inspired by the song Pray by Xana

Warnings: a little swearing and a lot of dirty dancing

Characters are all aged 18+

1,683 Words

The common room was busy this Friday night as everyone from class 1-A got set up for the small party they were having. You were busy putting snacks in serving bowls when Mina popped up beside you.

 “Y/n!” she giggled excitedly, taking the bowl from your hands. “Denki and Sero are almost done setting up the Karaoke machine! Are you planning on doing a song?” Everyone in the area turned their heads to you in curiosity.

“Yeah, y/n!” Izuku piped up from across the island, “We’ve known you for years and I don’t think any of us have heard you sing before!”

You smile sheepishly, cheeks turning a light pink. “Well, I have pretty bad stage fright, so I never really sing in front of people.” You glance across the room and meet a pair of bright red eyes staring right at you. “I don’t think I would do too well up there…” you trailed off, tearing your eyes away from the blonde.

Kirishima came up on your other side and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Ya know, Bakubro has a thing for people who face their fears.” He smirked when he said it, seeing your face flush red.

Everyone in the class knew about your not-so-subtle crush on Katsuki after Hagakure had accidentally yelled it out when you told her. No one could figure out what you saw in him. You were sweet and innocent, always happy and smiling. Bakugo was, well, Bakugo.

“You know what, I think I will sing something.” You said, shooting a hard glare at the boy who was still staring at you. “Mina, why don’t you come help me pick out an outfit?”

~~~

The party was in full swing and you found yourself sitting around the makeshift stage with your classmates. Denki and Mina were singing their hearts out to some song they found on Tiktok that was definitely not meant to be a duet, both doing the dance that goes with it when the chorus comes. 

“Who’s up next?” Shoji’s voice suddenly coming from your left made you jump.

Jiro laughed slightly, “y/n is up next, then Izuku, then Momo after him!” You settled back into your seat, adjusting your outfit. The song was almost over and you were starting to get nervous again, considering skipping your turn all together.

“Y/n is singing? In front of people? This y/n? The y/n that won’t even hum if she thinks we can hear her?” Sato’s teasing tone distracted you from your worry and you stood up, hip checking him with a smile.

“Hey!” You grin, feeling his arm wrap around your shoulder. “Just because I haven’t done it before, doesn’t mean I can’t!” Playfully batting his arm off of you, you stick your tongue out at him. Before he can respond, the music dies down, signaling the end of The Electric Duo’s performance. “Ah shit.” You groan, head rolling forwards.

The snippy voice you knew all too well snapped you back to reality. “Tch, you won’t do it. You know you won’t do it. We all know you won’t do it! Why don’t you just back out now before you make yourself look stupid, Angel.” Katsuki’s teasing nickname for you sounding more venomous than usual. He started calling you Angel the first week of school when you were assigned to the villain team for the practice battles. You did not do well at being bad and he often picked on you for being sweet and innocent.

“Oh fuck off, Kacchan.” You bit back at him, flipping him off. “You clearly don’t know me as well as you think.” You spun on your heel and took the mic from Mina, climbing onto the stage. Your heart was racing when you gave Jiro a thumbs up. She mirrored your action and the music began.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, singing the first verse with your eyes still closed.

Tell me what’d you get yourself into

It’s not like I’m gonna stay with you

The demons in my head

I bring ‘em all to bed

Tuck ‘em in the sheets

Let ‘em dance ‘tween our feet

The room was completely silent, everyone staring wide eyed at you. No one had expected you to make it this far, let alone for that voice to come out of you. Even Mina, who had listened to you quietly practice in your dorm room was shocked to hear you sound so confident.

You opened your eyes, drinking in the astonished faces of your classmates. You weren’t a bad singer. In fact, you were a very good singer! You were just nervous about singing in front of people.

Baby’s all dressed up in white

Crazy girl knows what I like

You found Katsuki’s gaze and held it, singing the next lines right to him.

Lover haven’t you heard

The Devil was an angel first

His eyes grew impossibly wider when you smirked at him, feeling yourself fill with confidence. You loosened up and walked over to the microphone stand, placing the mic in the holder. You sang out the chorus as Mina and Denki started cheering from the couch where they were sitting. Your eyes scanned the room to find every single person watching you with interest as you sang.

Seeing Katsuki staring at you open mouthed gave you a wonderful idea. You pointed to Sero and motioned for him to join you on the stage. His face lit up when he realized what you were plotting. He hopped up on the stage as you took the microphone back into your hands. You pulled him against you by his collar with one hand and the two of you danced against each other for the entire second verse.

Red lipstick, hot on my kiss

Thinking that you got this

Honey, you don’t know what’s comin’ for ya

There’s a fire in my ribs

You feel it when we kiss

It’s something dangerous

You broke away from him and he moved behind you, placing his hands on your hips as you looked dead at Katsuki with a look that could kill.

Now I’m thinking maybe we should ditch this

I know with me, you’ll get a little bit addicted

Your hand reaches down to tug on the hem of your little white dress as you swayed against Sero, still keeping eye contact with Katsuki.

Sugar’s pulling up her skirt

The Devil was an angel first

Half of the class was still staring at you while you sang the chorus, the other half looking between Bakugo and Sero. Mina and Denki were absolutely losing their minds seeing you like this. The two of them knew that you had it in you, but neither of them expected to see it come out in front of anyone but them. The fact that you were absolutely killing it on stage and making Bakugo noticeably flustered was causing them to go nuts cheering you on.

And I could be good

I know that I should

But heaven closed the gates on me

Sero moves so that his arms are wrapped against you, holding you to him as he continues dancing against you,

Golden to the touch

You miss me so much

But heaven closed the gates on me

On me

Heaven closed the gates on me

You unwrap yourself from Sero’s hold and push him back, causing him to hop back off of the stage. With a smirk, you belt the rest of the song, head thrown back, losing yourself in the music,

And when she lays down to pray at night

She’ll be screaming my name

Katsuki could barely contain his disbelief when he heard that line come out of your mouth. He wanted to kill Sero for getting to dance with you in that manner while you were in this state. Never before did he think that he would be so enamored by the class Angel. He definitely didn’t think he would ever find himself thinking about all of the dirty things he wanted to do to you.

She’ll be screaming my name

Mm mm m mm 

As the song finished, your eyes fell closed and Mina came flying towards the stage to engulf you in a hug. The rest of the class slowly followed her lead when the shock started wearing off.

“Holy shit, y/n! That was insane!” Hagakure yelled.

“Of all the things you could have done, I was not expecting that!” Ojiro said with his hand on his neck.

“I’m very impressed, you have very good control,” Shoto said, straight faced as always.

You smiled, face growing hot from all of the attention. “Thanks everyone, could you please let me go? I’d like to get a glass of water…” Everyone broke off and went back to where they were before as Izuku was ranting to Jiro about how he wasn’t sure he wanted to follow your act.

When you finally made your way to the kitchen, you grabbed a plastic cup from the counter and filled it with water from the sink. You turned around and leaned against the counter, holding it with your free hand.

“What the fuck was that?” You choked a bit when you heard the voice. No one else was in the kitchen when you had entered and you didn’t realize someone had followed.

“What do you mean? You didn’t think I would do it, so I did.”

Katsuki let out a dramatic sigh and moved to stand directly in front of you. “I don’t care about that! Why would you pull Tape Face up with you? Why would you sing a song like that in front of everyone?” He grabbed your arms and pulled you against him. “This outfit isn’t you,” he breathed. “None of this is the Angel I know.” His tone was accusatory and angry, but you could hear the confusion behind the words.

“Maybe that’s because you never took the time to get to know me.”

His gaze softened as he looked you over. “How about we change that?”

[tirednotflirting]

and we'd both stay out until the morning light

realizing i never posted this to tumblr. oops. ~vaguely~ inspired by 1973 by james blunt, an absolutely bitchin song i must say. and this piece was for miss helen aka @calumcest‘s bday approx one week and change ago. i went off a lil about my love and appreciation for her and our friendship in the ao3 a/n but the gist of it all is that helen is so so full of love and light and beautiful beautiful words and i’m so stupid thankful that this mess of a world brought us together. helen, if u see this, i love you to absolute pieces and i hope u are well x

you can find this here on ao3 if you wanna read there

Michael doesn’t consider himself to be great at much. He’s young, and making mistakes and having to try again is still his standard. He kind of likes that, though. He likes that his practicality in most things is seen as maturity and not a necessary default setting. He likes how his mom is proud when he learns how to cook a new vegetable or how to get a stain out of something. But he’s also comforted by the idea that it’s not irresponsible (or too much so, at least) when he throws caution to the wind and goes on some wild adventure with his friends or on his own. That it’s okay if he doesn’t know the word for something or has to google how to fill out a form because he’s still learning. Michael likes observing, learning about how he should be moving about the world.

That evening, something in the air feels electric. What exactly it is, Michael isn’t really sure, but it has him buzzing with anticipation for something. There’s a humming in the air around his apartment weaving around him like a ribbon but it’s moving too fast for him to latch onto. But for some reason, he doesn’t find it unsettling. He’s finishing up the dishes from dinner when the soft music playing from the speaker in his kitchen is interrupted with his ringtone.

He wipes his wet hands off before reaching into his back pocket. The screen shows a familiar picture, one always guaranteed to bring a smile to his face. He swipes his thumb across the glass and hits the speaker button. “Hi, Calum.”

“Come out with me tonight.”

His smile widens as he sets the phone on the island behind him so he can return to his drying rack. “Are we celebrating something?”

“Just being young and alive and in this gorgeous place and in love.” He can hear a dreamy tone to Calum’s words, evidence that he’s already begun a solo pregame.

“All about the dramatics tonight, are we?”

Calum huffs in a mock frustration. “We can’t let this place eat us alive, Mikey. Come out and dance with me.”

Michael sighs with a smile still pulling at his lips. He can practically hear the twinkle in Calum’s eyes that he tends to get when batting his eyes at Michael as he begs him to live a little. He thinks of the lunch he’s meant to attend with his advisor the following afternoon, of the novel and glass of wine sitting on his coffee table that he had set out for his quiet Saturday night in. But then he hears a quiet please, babe? across the line and rolls his eyes affectionately while placing the measuring cups back into their drawer. 

Maybe he’s meant to go on an adventure tonight. To observe, to see something new.

“I’ll be at yours in half an hour.”

*

Michael has never really liked clubs. He’s always found the environment to be one that bounces his brain between a place of numbness and overstimulation like his mind is a ping-pong ball. The duality of cocktails filled to the brim with liquor but also sugar only heightens the feeling. He prefers bright lights and sounds in a more controlled environment, like his computer screen or a movie theatre.

But Michael really likes Calum. And Calum likes clubs. So it’s fairly often that he finds himself with some brightly-colored drink in one hand and Calum grasping his other as he gets dragged through one of the night clubs near Calum’s new place.

The electric feeling in the air shifts with Michael’s change in setting. As Calum pulls him across the dance floor toward the bar for another drink, he senses it again, but in a different tone than he had felt in his apartment. Now it’s the beams of light passing between each of the bright, flashing bulbs high above their heads. It’s the energy swerving between the chattering, glittery people at the bar and the bass pumping below his feet. It’s Calum’s breathy laugh in his ear and the touch of his lips against Michael’s neck as he asks him if he wants something new to hold in his free hand.

Calum jumps up onto a stool at the bar as they wait for their next round and he pulls Michael to stand between his legs, his arms thrown lazily around his neck as he babbles through some story about some band that came into the studio that day. Michael loves watching Calum tell a story, his expressions adding their own layer of humor to the tale as Michael catches the rolling or widening of his eyes between flashes of colored light. Soon enough a couple more glasses are placed in front of them and Calum is reaching into his pocket for a few bills to pass back to the bartender before sliding down to the floor and pulling Michael back into the crowd.

Neither of them can dance to save their lives but that never stops Calum. He bounces around as Michael laughs and copies the movement. The liquid in their cups threatens to slosh to the floor or onto their shirts with each incredibly ungraceful swing of their hips.

“How is it,” Calum says between pants into Michael’s ear while wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him close, “that we’re out nearly every weekend and we still look like dads trying to dance every time we get out here?”

Michael shakes his head, the liquor in his cup starting to take its effects as he giggles against Calum’s cheek. “We’re musicians. One day when we make it big we’ll be too busy playing our instruments on stage to dance around. It would be a waste of time to learn to move any different than this.”

Calum’s smile shines bright through a laugh as he spins them around following Michael’s comment. “God, what are we going to do when our friends start getting married? We’ll be a disaster.” He pauses to take a sip of the concoction he’s ordered most recently. “Luke and Ashton are probably gonna threaten to kick us out if we move from our seats at their reception some day.”

“That’s how we’ll convince Ashton’s cheap ass to get the open bar. We’re far more agreeable when drunk.”

“Cheers to that.” Calum mockingly raises his cup and knocks it against Michael’s. 

The song changes then, the volume of the crowd rising with the song as the familiarity hits everyone’s ears and minds. Calum’s face bursts into a grin and his arms tighten around Michael’s neck to pull him closer to his chest. “Mm, love this song.” Calum pauses to sing along to the chorus. “Think I love you also.”

Michael blinks his eyes open, not having realized that they were closed. He watches light bounce around them and a drunken blush paint across Calum’s cheeks and nose. He’s had too much to drink to think too hard about it but really he’s never not questioning how he got so lucky. He lets his lips press against Calum’s nose, the rosiness in his own cheeks surely spreading when he catches Calum’s giggle through the music. “Love you too, Cal.”

They dance and sing for what feels like both hours and seconds. The mix of light and sound and those damn cocktails Calum keeps buying make Michael feel light like the confetti that starts flying around the room at some point in the night. He lost track of the number of nights they’ve had like this a long time ago, the center of glittering, happy chaos being a place Calum loves to frequent. He’d follow Calum anywhere, including to a mindless and seemingly pointless celebration like tonight. Michael knows he’ll go anywhere so long as he gets to keep watching the way Calum’s eyes and smile sparkle when even the faintest light hits his face. 

He’s watching it then, practically being blinded by it all, he thinks, when Calum catches Michael’s hand and pulls him back in for another dance.

*

They end up at the beach.

Their phones died ages ago but as the sun just barely begins to peek out from the ocean horizon, Michael figures it’s around 6am. They’re both still giggling and blushing at each other like mad as they strip off their socks and shoes and stumble toward the ocean. Michael isn’t even sure what he’s drunk off of anymore but whether it's Calum or the cocktails, he doesn’t really seem to care. 

Calum gasps at the temperature of the water as they let the little waves crash against their ankles, and he shuffles closer to Michael. He leans into Michael’s shoulder, lips pressing gently against his neck as Michael wraps an arm around his waist. 

The morning sunlight is just barely beginning to ripple over the dark water as they stand in silence, their breaths just barely audible over the waves. Normally seeing the ocean without the sun high up in the sky scares the hell out of Michael; hell, the ocean in general usually frightens him. It’s so unknown, and Michael doesn’t like being so close to something so vast and mysterious. It’s why he can’t think about space too hard most of the time either. He feels safe, though, and secure, standing there with Calum. He’s always wondering if it’s too early to think that way about the boy standing pressed against his side.

Eventually Calum lifts his head and grabs Michael’s hand, weaving their fingers together as he walks them back from the water just a bit before planting himself in the sand. “We’re watching the sunrise from here,” Calum explains to Michael’s confused eyes. Michael nods his understanding and drops down beside him.

“This city scares the hell out of me sometimes,” Calum says with a sigh, his fingers still dancing with Michael’s. “Like it always feels like I’m doing too much and not enough all at the same time. And then I get so stuck on figuring that out that I do nothing. There’s so many creatives here that the air feels like it’s filled with thoughts and ideas and dreams all the time. It’s so damn loud, you know?”

Michael nods, though the way Calum speaks he can’t really tell if he’s actually speaking to him or not. He considers asking but then Calum starts up speaking again, his crinkling eyes still facing out toward the water. 

“But then I come here and it’s like the tide kind of pulls all of that away. This is the only place where LA gets quiet, I think. It’s why I like to come out here.” 

Michael sticks his legs out in front of him and digs his bare feet into the sand as he ponders how to respond to Calum. “I get what you mean,” he starts as he drops his free hand against the cool sand and draws swirls with his finger. “I think this is the first time I haven’t been surrounded by people in a while.”

Calum’s head drops to Michael’s shoulder again and turns away from the water as he nestles his face into his neck. “Mali suggested coming out here after I’d had a bad day at the studio and you and the guys were all busy or something. Said it was her favorite place to gather up her own thoughts when she was trying out living here.”

As he drops Calum’s hand to let his hand reach up to tangle with the dark curls at the back of his neck, Michael lets the importance of this place, of Calum bringing him here settle over them. There are very few things that Calum keeps to himself, this spot apparently having been one until that morning. “Thank you for sharing this place with me. It’s a beautiful spot.”

He feels Calum shake his head just a little, his arm moving to wrap around Michael’s waist as his fingers play with the hem of his shirt. “Of course. I wanna share everything with you.”

The electric buzz Michael has felt around him the whole night settles with him and Calum out on the beach. Now it skips across the gentle waves that grow bluer with each passing minute as the sun rises. It blinks with the light from the street lamps back at the road as they go back and forth on whether or not it is time for them to say their daily goodbye as dawn turns to morning. Its final act, Michael senses, is the shock he gets as Calum straightens up and gently lifts his hand to the back of Michael's neck, causing him to turn as brown eyes meet green for just the briefest moment before their eyes flutter shut while their lips meet. 

*

“And that’s when I knew that he was my soulmate, ya know?” Michael says, his smile widening as he watches Calum’s eyes sparkle, tears threatening to fall from his dark lashes. “Because we should have been falling over ourselves with exhaustion at that point but I had never felt so awake in my life. I never wanted to sleep again because I never wanted to stop looking at him.”

A single tear does fall, racing down Calum’s cheek, and Michael lifts his hand from Calum’s grasp to gently wipe it away. “Anyway,” he laughs with a sniffle, his eyes pulling from Calum’s to face the room filled with their family and friends. “Thank you all for putting up with my nostalgia and thank you for coming to help us celebrate today. Enjoy the reception.”

The music picks up once people finish their brief clapping and Michael sits down again while he watches people around the room begin to rise and walk in the direction of the cakes and the bar. His eyes follow Luke and Ashton as they wander in the direction of Calum’s parents and sister, presumably to say hello again. Ashton’s eyes briefly meet his own and Michael laughs quietly as he watches Ashton’s left eye drop into a wink. They share the look for only a moment because then Luke is dragging him along and a hand dropping to Michael’s thigh pulls him back.

“I really liked that night,” Calum mumbles against Michael’s neck, his lips pressing just below his ear. “Liked hearing you tell the story of it even more.” 

Michael can’t help his laughter as a smile pulls at his cheeks. “Listen, there are very few stories of nights out that I can tell in front of our parents. Had to go digging through my journals to really settle on one.”

“You were journaling about me already back in the day? That’s so sweet.”

“Back in the day?” Michael questions as he sits up to meet his husband’s (the thought of the word alone bringing butterflies swarming into his stomach) eyes. “That was like four years ago, Cal. We’re too young for anything to be ‘back in the day’ yet.”

Calum’s face softens at his words, his hand lifting from Michael’s lap to cup his cheek, his thumb running across his cheekbone. “I can’t wait to grow old with you.”

He lets out a sigh while Michael blushes at him in response to the declaration. Calum leans forward to brush their lips together before rising, his empty glass in hand in need of a refill. Michael watches him wander through the crowd, shaking hands and exchanging smiles and kind words with every guest he passes while approaching the bar. None of it feels real yet, Michael thinks. Though it’s been less than two hours since they said I do so he figures he’s allowed a little longer to just be in awe of the fact that he’s got someone to spend the rest of forever traipsing through life with and that that someone is Calum.

And Michael still doesn’t consider himself to be great at much. He’s still young and can’t hold his liquor and can only really cook maybe three vegetables. But Michael is great at loving Calum and being loved by Calum. And maybe, for now, that’s enough. Michael finds himself thinking on that as he takes another sip from his own glass and gazes out to where Calum stands speaking to a friend and their partner. His cheeks warm as the three of them turn to look at him, a fond look resting against Calum’s face as their eyes meet. The ring on his left hand glitters in the light as he lifts it to gesture for Michael to join him.

Yeah, this is definitely enough.

*

[flipomatic]

A New World Chapter 22: Training Camp Day 4

Author Note: While I was away, Roselia’s third band story was released. I read a summary, but it will not be influencing this fic in any way.

First Chapter Previous Chapter

_________________________________________________________

With only two members in the studio, the room was quiet. That suited Rinko just fine, as she needed to focus completely on the lyrics Yukina presented to her.

When Sayo told her that they would take the morning off practicing to work on writing a new song, Rinko had fully supported the idea. Now was the perfect time to do so, especially since they could record the song this week.

It turned out Yukina had rejected the board game last night to work on the lyrics, since she still needed to put the final touches on them. It was disappointing that she couldn’t play, but when Lisa returned and eagerly joined, the mood turned around.

The other three band members were upstairs this morning, though Rinko didn’t know what they were doing. They hadn’t decided yet when she left, and she couldn’t hear them from the studio. Sayo was going to help with the guitar parts once they had the base of the song done, which would probably be by tomorrow.

Now, with the band split up, it was time to create the song. When Yukina handed Rinko the lyrics, she admitted that she hadn’t been able to complete them until last night. Right now, here at the training camp, was the only time she could’ve written them.

The title line for the song was blank. The lyrics spoke of the unification of the band, they way that they came together to seek the top. Each member had a line during the second half of the verse, leading to them all singing together. The lines of the chorus carried a similar message, looking up and towards the future.

They were great lyrics. Rinko’s thoughts went to the song she’d been working on, playing the melody in her mind. She tried to slot the words in, but it wasn’t going to work. That melody didn’t quite fit these lyrics.

No, she would need to create something new.

Rinko looked up from the notebook, which was perched on a music stand behind her keyboard, eyes meeting Yukina’s. The singer had been watching her read with steady golden eyes, waiting for her reaction.

“D-do you have a tempo in mind?” Rinko asked, not giving her judgement yet on the lyrics.

Yukina’s forehead wrinkled as she thought of a reply. “On the faster side, I think over 180 would be best.” Most of their music was around that tempo, so it made sense. It also matched what Rinko expected; she was right to set aside her other melody.

She leaned forward to click on the metronome that was part of her keyboard, turning the dial up to 180 beats per minute. Rinko reviewed the lyrics again as she listened to it, toe tapping in half time.

Yukina had her hands together in her lap, finger tapping lightly with each beat. Her eyes were narrowed as she focused.

Rinko let the metronome play for a couple minutes, turning over a few potential melodies in her mind. When she glanced back at Yukina, the vocalist had a distinct gleam in her eye. It seemed like she had an idea. Rinko clicked the metronome off.

“How about this, in 4/4 time.”  Yukina didn’t wait, jumping right into presenting her idea. She sang a two measure phrase, much slower than the tempo they were just listening to. She sang in a major key signature, Rinko would need to ask exactly which one. It used a quarter note followed by half notes in the first measure, and then a syncopated rhythm in the second. The tune went up and down with each note, ending on a lower one.

Rinko played it on her keyboard, matching the notes Yukina sang as closely as she could. Yukina nodded, offering a tweak to one of the notes and clarifying the key signature. It sounded even better the second time.

“This could work... on the verses.” Rinko handed the lyric sheet back to Yukina, and then played the tune slowly multiple times in a row. Yukina joined on the second set, singing the portion where the band members counted off. It lined up well, and with a few more tweaks it would be perfect.

The pair stopped, with Rinko grabbing her blank sheet music to jot the phrase down.

Next, they modified it to fit the earlier part of the verse. It wasn’t quite as urgent, and didn’t need as many half notes. After that came the melody of the chorus, which called for a new tune. It could use some of the same notes as the verse, but needed to do a lot more lifting.

They tried a few different melodic lines until they found one that worked and matched well with the verses. It conveyed the emotion of the lyrics as well, lifting the notes and the band higher.

With those three core aspects decided, the two split up for half an hour to work independently. Yukina needed to decide how she would sing the song, while Rinko prepared the first rough draft of the melody on sheet music.

Rinko worked carefully on her task, connecting the portions together. The second verse and bridge would still need more foundation, but they were off to a good start. Maybe Sayo would want to help with the bridge, beyond writing just the guitar part for it. She made a mental note to ask her.

Rinko was able to finish the draft in the half hour designated, then prepared to play it with Yukina. They worked their way through the piece slowly, stopping every few measures to make corrections.

It was a good idea to write a new song; the band needed one. They would keep working until lunch, writing the rest of the melody and adding other instruments. The song was slowly coming together.

As she played, Rinko wondered what was going on upstairs.

______________________________________________________

Training camp was a great time to try new things. Ako truly believed that, from the bottom of her heart. So when Rinko and Yukina split off to work on a new song, that opened up a morning full of opportunities.

Though they couldn’t go far from the house, there was still so much they could do! They could play games or go on an adventure. This house must have had some secrets it was hiding, if Ako only looked close enough to find them. They could also bake, or perhaps compose a song of their own. That would really surprise Rinko and Yukina.

As the other two members went down to the studio, Ako proposed these ideas to Lisa and Sayo. She was excited, regardless of which one was chosen.

The three were standing in a circle in the kitchen, near the main table.

“It’s been a while since we baked together.” Sayo lifted one hand to her chin as she considered the idea. “Not since last fall.”

“Baking sounds like a great idea!” Lisa voiced her agreement. Both of them baked as a hobby, so it made sense that they would pick it.

Sayo frowned slightly. “It might help with the mood too.” Her eyes flicked towards the stairs leading to the studio.

“Yeah…” Lisa sighed, smile slipping away as her voice trailed off.

Ako wasn’t sure what they meant; the mood had been way better over the last couple days. “What should we make?” She wasn’t that familiar with baking. Sure, she’d eaten many a baked good in her time, but she didn’t have much experience making them. Despite that, she was eager to jump in and learn.

“How about cookies?” Sayo’s attention snapped to Ako as she replied, taking her phone out of her pocket and looking down at the screen. “There’s a new recipe I’ve been meaning to try.” She tapped multiple times on the screen.

A moment later Ako’s phone buzzed; Sayo had sent her the link. Lisa must’ve received it too, since she also looked at her phone. Ako opened the recipe and scrolled through it, skimming the ingredients list and directions. It was for sugar cookies, ones that could be cut into fun shapes.

“This looks doable.” Lisa commented as she did the same. “We might need a few more ingredients.”

Oh, that would be the adventure Ako was looking for. “Let’s go shopping!” She raised one fist in the air.

“We should.” Sayo stepped over to the fridge, opening it to look inside. “I’ll make a list of what we still need.” She started typing again on her phone.

Lisa stepped up next to her to peer inside. “We can make the frosting too, add confectioner’s sugar to the list.” Ako hadn’t heard of that, but it had the words sugar in it, so it was probably tasty.

“Alright.”

“Ooh, let’s get some food dye too.” Ako could already picture the cool cookies she’d make, in shape of bats or instruments. Colored frosting would make them even better.

Lisa shot back a thumbs up, stepping back from the fridge. She moved over to the cabinet, looking inside at the baking supplies available. Sayo followed a moment later. Ako didn’t know what they were looking for, so she waited right where she was.

A minute later, and they seemed satisfied with what they saw. Sayo led the way out of the kitchen and back to the front door, where they put their shoes on and ventured out into the world.

The market was only a ten minute walk from the house, a journey Ako had made already a few times. The trio walked there with ease, making small talk about the weather.

They quickly gathered the needed items once inside, which included the confectioner’s sugar, vanilla extract, and food dye, along with other ingredients.

Once they had bought everything, they walked back to the house. The bags were split between the three, with Ako carrying two of them.

Soon, they were re-entering the house and setting the ingredients down in the kitchen. Ako listened to see if she could hear the piano, since it had been a while since they got started downstairs, but the studio was too good at keeping sound in.

“We’ll start with the cookie dough, then make the frosting while it chills.” Lisa said, taking charge with her high-level baking knowledge. She washed her hands at the sink, which was probably a good idea. Sayo went next, followed by Ako.

“I’ll start mixing dry ingredients.” Sayo said after drying her hands. She took a large bowl out of the cupboard and settled at one of the counters.

“That means we have the wet ones.” Lisa took a smaller bowl from the same cupboard, moving to a counter away from Sayo. “Ako, can you grab a spatula?” She pointed to one of the drawers on the other side of the kitchen.

Of course she could do that! Ako stepped around the other two to reach the drawer, opening it to look for the desired object. Surprisingly, there were a few different colored spatulas to choose from, but she settled on a black one. At the other counter, Sayo was very carefully measuring the flour.

When Ako got back to Lisa, her friend had already gathered a few of the wet ingredients. “That’s perfect.” She said, eyeing the spatula Ako clenched in one fist. “I’ll add ingredients while you stir.”

“Sounds good!” Ako stepped in front of the bowl as Lisa moved to the side, plunging her spatula down inside it. There already was an egg cracked at the bottom, so Ako began to stir it. Each time her spatula scaped the side, she imagined the echo of a cymbal hit.

As she stirred, Lisa dropped in more ingredients. The vanilla was easy to mix in, while the butter was tougher. Ako kept at it, stirring the mixture firmly. This wasn’t so hard; she could totally do this! Soon, it had reached a consistent texture.

Lisa had been standing aside, and she leaned over the bowl to take a look. “Looks great Ako!” She then turned to Sayo. “Are the dry ingredients ready?”

There was a bit of white dust in Sayo’s hair, clinging to the ends of it. She was dumping one last teaspoon of powder into her mixture. “Just finished.” She picked the large bowl up, bringing it over the Lisa and Ako.

“Let’s combine them.” Lisa gestured for Ako to pass her the spatula, which she did as she stepped back from the bowl. With apparent ease, Lisa lifted the smaller bowl and poured the contents into the larger one. She then stuck the spatula inside and began to stir. Sayo took the smaller bowl to wash, while Ako moved closer to peer at the mixture.

“It already looks great.” Ako commented.

“They’re gonna be delicious.” Lisa stirred carefully, mixing the ingredients together. The dough was thick and clung to the spatula.

When Sayo finished washing the bowl, she looked in the cupboard again. Ako hopped over to see if she needed any help. Sayo emerged with a box of wax paper, which she unrolled onto one of the counters. “We’ll need two.” She said, tearing the first piece off and offering it to Ako.

Ako held it tightly as Sayo tore another one off, and soon both were ready. It was good timing, since Lisa was just about done mixing the dough. They brought the paper over to her counter, since the bowl was harder to move. Sayo gained a rolling pin along the way.

Ako marveled at how in sync Sayo and Lisa were in the kitchen. She knew they had baked together before, but it was still amazing to watch them work together.

“Ako, have you rolled dough before?” Lisa asked as she took the sheet of wax paper from the teen, spreading it on the table.

“Nope.” Ako replied honestly. She was eager to try.

“No better time to learn.” Lisa scooped some of the dough out with her hands, placing it on the wax paper. She only took about half of it out, before taking the second sheet from Sayo. It was placed on top of the dough, leaving it pressed between the two. “Sayo’ll guide you, she’s an expert.”

Sayo’s cheeks dusted pink at that, but she didn’t comment on it. “Let’s get started then.” She handed the rolling pin to Ako, showing her how to hold it on both sides. “Don’t press too hard. We’re aiming for one quarter inch, not completely flat.”

Ako grit her teeth in determination as she lowered the rolling pin down onto the dough pile. She slowly rolled over the top of it, carefully pushing it down.

“You can push a little harder.” Sayo was right by her side, watching her every move.

Ako did as instructed, applying more pressure to the dough. The rolling pin moved over it smoothly, steadily making it flatter and flatter. It was easy with the wax paper, since the pin couldn’t stick to the dough. She rolled rhythmically, two beats up and two beats back. A rhythm formed in her mind, around the movement of the pin.

Once she thought it was close, she stopped. Ako leaned over to look at the thickness, trying to decide if this was one quarter inch. She had no idea; it was super hard to tell.

Sayo had leaned down on the other side, checking the same thing. “A little more.” She said as her final judgement.

With just a few more sweeps of the rolling pin, the first half was done. Ako beamed as she lifted the rolling pin off, marveling at what they’d made. Behind her, Lisa had appeared with a baking sheet. She placed the tray next to it, removed the top wax paper layer, then flipped it expertly onto the tray. Once Lisa took the tray away, it was time to roll the rest of the dough.

“I’ll do the second half.” Sayo said as she started scooping the remaining dough onto the paper. “If you don’t mind washing the bowl.”

“I’m on it!” Once the dough was all out, Ako took the bowl over to the sink. It really was a large bowl, but she shouldn’t have too much trouble cleaning it.

By the time she was done, the front of her shirt was drenched and the second set of dough was ready. Lisa transferred it to a second baking sheet to put in the fridge with the other one.

“In an hour, we can cut them into shapes.” Lisa declared as she shut the fridge. “Let’s do the frosting for now.”

“What colors are we making?” Sayo asked, taking the food dye they’d bought out of the bag.

“Black and white for sure.” Ako wanted to make sure of it, so she could make cool bat cookies and a piano for Rinko.

“Blue and red too, if you’re alright with making four.” Lisa directed her words at Sayo.

“That’s fine, we’ll just divide it before we add the food dye.” Sayo retrieved the small bowl, the one Ako stirred the wet ingredients in before.

They soon had prepared all four colors of frosting, which Ako just had to sample to see if they tasted the same. Unsurprisingly, they did.

The cookie dough had chilled long enough by that point, so they cut it into shapes and then put it in the oven.

Ako watched through the tiny window as the cookies baked, eager to frost them. She was even more excited to see Rinko and Yukina’s reactions when they received them.

She hoped the song writing was going well downstairs.

________________________________________________________

Lisa carried the small bag carefully in her hand. The plastic was clear, showing the handmade goods inside.

Making cookies earlier had been a fantastic idea, exactly what Lisa needed. The recipe Sayo found was a good one; she would make some after training camp to give to Ai. That was a thought for later though.

For now, she had hoped that the band resyncing would improve Yukina’s mood, but so far it hadn’t been going that well. Over the last few days Yukina was still hard to talk to, even as the band thrived. They’d talked about music, of course, but outside of that it almost felt like Yukina was avoiding her. Even during rehearsal that afternoon, Yukina hardly looked her way. Perhaps she was still worried about the band, about what would happen after the training camp.

Tonight, with these cookies, Lisa hoped to change that. If Yukina refused to talk with her, the cookies were her way in. Even if their relationship wasn’t going to evolve, she would never allow their friendship to fall apart.

This led Lisa to where she was now, standing in the hallway of the rented house. Yukina had excused herself from the room a few minutes before, taking her headphones and notebook out to the main part of the house. Lisa watched her go, before deciding to follow. She took the bag of cookies with her, the ones she decorated specifically for Yukina.

As Lisa lurked in the hallway, watching Yukina as she sat at the main kitchen table, she felt hesitation creeping into her mind. Doubt, one of her worst enemies, whispered in her ear. Was it right to keep forcing Yukina to talk to her if she didn’t want to? It had to be her fault too, that their relationship was declining. Was this really for the best?

No, she shouldn’t think like that. Lisa snapped herself out of it, shaking her head firmly. Yukina valued their friendship as much as she did; she knew that. Even with everything that had changed, she was doing the right thing by trying to preserve it.

With that in mind, Lisa stepped out of the hallway and into the kitchen. Yukina had her eyes on her notebook, headphones over her ears. She was reading something as she listened, following along with her finger. It must’ve been the new song. Lisa sat across from her at the table and held the cookie bag out of sight underneath it. Yukina’s eyes slowly came up from the paper, locking on Lisa’s.

For a moment, Lisa just looked at her. Yukina, her best friend in the world, was holding her gaze with a mildly confused look. Her eyebrows came together slowly, silently asking a question.

“Do you have a minute?” Lisa asked rather than explaining, internally cringing at how awkward of a question that was.

Yukina nodded, lifting her headphones over her ears and setting them on the table. “Is something wrong?” Her voice was level.

“No, um, not really.” That wasn’t quite the truth, but Lisa didn’t want to continue the conversation down that path. “I just, wanted to talk to you.”

Yukina broke eye contact, looking at a spot over Lisa’s shoulder. “I see.” She said unhelpfully. She had closed herself off, as she so often did.

Lisa was undeterred. “How did song writing go today?”

“Rinko is very talented.” Was what Yukina said in reply, now directing her gaze back down to the notebook. She didn’t elaborate.

“Of course!” Lisa provided the energy for both of them. “She’s Roselia’s pianist after all.”

Yukina didn’t respond, instead fidgeting with the corner of her notebook.

Lisa watched her, took in every little motion. A minute passed, the tension in the air only growing. Usually they could sit in comfortable silence, but today neither was comfortable. Lisa had too much she needed to say. She just had to bring herself to say it.

“Is that all?” Yukina asked the question without looking up, her tone cold. Despite the chill to her words, there was a hint of insecurity. It pushed Lisa forward.

“No, it isn’t.” Lisa took a deep breath to center herself, her hand tightening on the bag. “You know I’m here for you, right? Don’t push me away.” She fought to keep her voice steady, to not let loose the emotions boiling beneath the surface. Gold eyes came back to hers, smoldering with unreadable sentiment. “Whether Roselia continues or not, I’ll stay by your side. No matter what happens, I will always be your friend.” That was a line full of mixed feelings. It hurt, to again admit that they would never be more than friends. It was also a relief, to finally express some of how she felt to Yukina.

Yukina’s expression flashed to something Lisa couldn’t quite place as she processed the words, mouth opening as if to speak. She inhaled, then exhaled without saying anything. Then, as if realizing something, Yukina’s expression snapped back to composed. It took her a few more seconds to reply. “I’m sorry I’ve been short with you.” She practically muttered; it was rare for her to apologize. Lisa’s heart throbbed in her chest. “I’ll remember that. I’m your friend too.”

That was all Lisa wanted. She felt tears welling up in her eyes with relief, but quickly rubbed them away with her free hand. Yukina looked alarmed and moved to stand, but Lisa waved for her to stay seated. She was so endearing when she tried to help. “I’m glad.” Lisa said, again wiping one forming tear.

“Do you need a tissue? I’ll get one.” Yukina offered, speaking faster than usual.

Lisa shook her head, already recovering. “No, I’m fine now.” It was still a lie, but much less of one than what she said before. The plastic bag crinkled between her fingers, reminding her of its presence. She still needed to give it to her. “I almost forgot; these are for you.” Lisa lifted the bag of cookies, reaching across the table to hold them out to Yukina.

Yukina’s golden eyes widened with surprise as she reached up to accept the bag. “Thank you.” She replied politely, tugging at the ribbon to open the plastic. Lisa could hear her inhale sharply when she saw what was inside.

These cookies were in the shape of small blue roses, with careful frosting work to match. The lines were done in black so that it was clear exactly what they were supposed to be. It had been a test of her frosting skills, but she thought they turned out well. Lisa made them while Ako and Sayo made tiny keyboard cookies.

Yukina’s expression softened as she carefully took one out of the bag, setting it on the table to get a better look at it. “I love them, they’re almost too good to eat.” She raised one eyebrow with the second half.

Lisa laughed at that, unable to resist Yukina’s jokes. “You’d better eat them.” She chuckled, drawing a smile from Yukina.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Yukina picked her headphones up from where they rested on the table. “Do you want to listen to the new song demo?”

That was an easy one. “Yes, for sure.” Lisa reached over to take the headphones, slipping them over her head. With a slight tug to extend them, they fit easily over her ears. Yukina moved over the lyrics as well, so Lisa could follow along. “Do you have a title yet?” Lisa asked before Yukina could start the music, noticing that there wasn’t one at the top of the page.

“No, not yet.” Yukina replied, then hit a button on her phone. The piano track played in Lisa’s ears, along with Yukina’s singing. It sounded slow, likely not at tempo. Even at the lower tempo, it carried a high level of energy.

Yukina’s voice sounded strong, carrying the song from start to finish. Lisa had always loved her singing, loved watching her perform. She’d always loved her, though she was trying to avoid that thought.

For now, as the song finished in her ears and Yukina slowly ate one of the blue rose cookies, they would continue to be best friends. They would continue to play in Roselia together.

For now, that was enough.

_________________________________________________________

End note: I listened to a metronome again for this.

I have decided the total chapter count, since I now know how many more training camp chapters there will be and how many chapters are planned after that. If I need to change it I will, but 30 is the anticipated final chapter count.

This chapter, and the mini arc as a whole, got away from me in a big way. Two more chapters then we’re back to our regularly scheduled programming. I hope you are still enjoying it, and thanks for reading!

Next Chapter

[transvampireboyfriend]

Beej and reader slow dancing please my soft heart needs this

Mom!! Thank you for bringing back Soft Hoursᵀᴹ 🥺 ilysm💜

- Beetlejuice is helping you with tonight's dinner cleanup. It's a challenge of its own to get him to help with boring tasks around the house but when he gets to do them with some other family member is easier for him. And when he gets to do them with you?? Then it's HELLS YEAH

- You put on your 80s playlist to help you both stay focused on the task at hand and you both sing and dance around while cleaning up the table, careful not to break the dishes but blasting the lyrics in each other's faces as you pass one another.

- After "Jump (For My Love)" and "I'm So Excited", you manage to get the table back to its original state and you're halfway through the washing. Beej is helping you dry everything while you wash because there's not a chance in hell he's coming anywhere near water.

- You pass each plate to him for drying and his hand brushes yours gently in the process, triggering butterflies in the pit of your stomach every time. He doesn't seem to notice it and just keeps swaying along the rythm of whatever song is on. You twist your mouth thinking it's silly of you to expect him to notice.

- You forget yourself, the effect his flirtatious attitude has on you does not change the fact that he does it jokingly, he's like this with everyone, you know this. And yet... The way he looks at you sometimes, or just the sheer trust he shows around you, how these small, soft touches come so easily to him when it comes to you, but he rarely touches anyone else that way, that gives you the tiniest flicker of hope.

- And then a slow song comes on and brings you out of your head. The energy in the room immediately shifts. The first notes to "Saving All My Love for You" escapes your phone and you feel Beej pause the next time your hands touch. You look up at him and he's looking back at you. A shiver runs down your spine and he cocks an eyebrow up playfully.

- Then in the blink of an eye, he places the plate aside and pulls on your hand, spins you around and brings you flush against him. You can't help but giggle at being manhandled like that, especially when he does it with a mischievous smile on his face.

- His eyes light up hearing you giggle, "hey babes, wanna have a dance break with me?" He asks, winking at you. You nod with a smile on your face  "but we're finishing the dishes immediately after this song!" you say, he rolls his eyes but nods, "Fiiiine" he says. His smile softens and he starts swaying you both on the spot, while gently taking your left hand in his and placing your right hand on his shoulder, softly removing his free hand to rest it on your waist.

- You keep swaying together and BJ places his forehead on yours as the chorus starts. You have the biggest urge to just sing the lyrics to him, but settle for moving your hand to the back of his neck, slowly stroking his soft hair, now turning a lovely shade of peach. It feels like an eternity of you slow dancing around the kitchen island before his gaze drops to your lips. Your heart skips a beat.

- He spins you again unexpectedly and then dips you low in his arms. You laugh and bat at his chest. "Sto-hop" you tell him, a little breathless with your giggles. "What, what am I doing wrong?!" He asks with the biggest smile on his face, chuckling and dipping you just a bit further. You look up at him in awe. Fuck, if he only knew. There's a soft lock of hair falling to his forehead and you reach to gently put it back in place, your gaze moving to his lips without your say in it. Maybe if you just told him about the-

- "Guys" Lyds says, entering the kitchen and going straight for the cupboard to fetch snacks, without batting an eye "we're watching a movie in the living room in case you ever finish gazing into each other's eyes"

- You're sure the bridge of your nose has never been a deeper shade of red. Beej snorts and pulls you upright, making sure you're steady before he lets you go. "Um, yeah, a movie sounds fun" you say as BJ fixes his tie clearly with the sole purpose of seeing you get even more flustered.

- Lyds leaves with a "mmhm" a bag of chips and a can of soda. The last notes of the song go with her and you two resume your task as "Love Really Hurts Without You" comes on. Beej mock drops two plates and you splash him for scaring you. You both laugh and dance through the rest of your task. By the end of the song you're all done.

- And just then, "I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues" comes on as you put the cleaning supplies back in place. "Do you wanna go watch that movie now, babes?" BJ asks. "Actually," you say looking up in a sudden burst of courage "wanna dance?" you offer, extending your hand to him.

- He smiles a small thing and takes your hand as Elton John starts singing. You almost sigh in relief at the feeling of his hand back in yours. He pulls on your hand softly until you meet him in the middle. "This is nice" he says, his voice raspy like he's shy to admit it. You smile, "it is" you tell him, interlocking your fingers behind his neck while he holds your waist and sways you to the rythm. The peach of his hair hasn't faded.

- "I've never seen your hair that color before" you tease him. "Shut up" he answers, chuckling,  taking one of your hands and spinning you around. You laugh and rest your head on his shoulder when he brings you back to him.

- ~And I guess that's why they call it the blues, time on my hands could be time spend with you~ You sing along and he rests his head on top of yours for some time while you sway side to side and spin around together.

- ~Wait on me girl~ He tightens his hand around your waist. You can't explain exactly how but you feel his unease, you know he's afraid of something, and you nozzle your face up into his head so he's forced to pull away, half laughing because he knows what you're doing. But you take his hand anyways and tell him "your turn" spinning him around.

- When the chorus rolls back around he's more light hearted and takes both your hands to sway them while he steps side to side and spins himself to make you laugh. You spin each other, sway together, dance around the kitchen island and by the time the last chorus comes around you're both singing along.

- Beej can make his voice sound like actual thunder and it sends you both into a laughing fit. The song is over before you two finish goofing around. You grab your phone, stop the playlist and walk over to him to boop his nose. "Wanna go watch the end of that movie now?", you ask. He grabs your hand and excitedly drags you to the living room.

- The couch is completely full so he sits in mid air and pulls you into his lap, where you watch the second act of the Ghostbusters reboot, warm in his arms and thinking maybe soon you'll tell him how you feel.

[waywardfacegarden]

serendipity

hey so i came back at writing :) and it’s not the naruto fandom but uhh i figured i’d posted this here too :D first time writing for this fandom and it was hard af, but i hope you like it!! c:

Summary:

The first time is an accident.

The other ones not so much.

Posted on Ao3 like a month ago or so.

Featuring kissing, slow burn, boys being dumb and bakusquad :)

-

The first time it happens, it’s an accident.

It’s on the first days after the sports festival, and he’s still angry for that half-ass fight Todoroki gave him.

So yeah, Bakugou is arguing with Todoroki, leaning over his seat, when stupid Kaminari hits him from behind.

He slides forward, and, frankly, he had no idea how deep he was inside Todoroki’s personal space until he’s invading all of it. He staggers forward, Todoroki’s eyes open a fraction and, although he stretches out his hand to steady Bakugou’s arm, it’s already too late.

Bakugou crashes all the way down and stamps his lips against Todoroki’s in a, purely and honestly, awkward kiss.

It’s not even a kiss. Is just mouth in mouth, awkwardly pressed together, and it maybe lasts a bit more than it should, but give him a break, he was utterly surprised, okay?

Bakugou pushes himself away, trying not to think about how Todoroki’s lips felt chapped against his, and about the way Todoroki is looking up at him. Bakugou can’t put his nail on it, but he looks… confused, maybe?

“Aaahh, sorry, dude. Did I hit you?”

Bakugou turns around with a murderous aura emanating out of him, like waves.

Kaminari is very dumb most of the time, but it only takes him a second, looking at Todoroki and then at Bakugou, to put the pieces together. He smiles at him, then, but he looks scared.

He bursts out a nervous laugh. “Ah… hah— I— waaaah! Wait! It was an accident! An accident! Kirishima, help me!!!”

Kirishima tries to help, but he can’t stop laughing, and Bakugou only ends up getting more angry. He smacks them both in the head, glaring all the day at everything and everyone.

Stupid Kaminari.

Stupid Half-and-Half.

.

.

.

They don’t talk about it later, though. It’s not like they should, anyways. What are they supposed to say? It wasn’t even a decent kiss and it’s not like there were feelings involved.

So time passes, the months pass, and the memory of what happened has blurred so much that Bakugou almost seems to have forgotten it.

It’s not like he’s thinking about it, either. Not with everything that has happened.

The summer passes, Bakugou is kidnapped, the dorms arrive, the Provisional License exam happens, he and Todoroki fail it, he gets into a fight, the classes come back, and now they have extra classes.

It’s not like Todoroki and he had become friends in all that time, but now they have to spend too much time together because of those classes, and well, Bakugou supposes that the idiot is better than that girl (even if she does good illusions of Todoroki, hah, that was definitely hilarious) and baldy.

So yeah. He’s stuck with him.

It could be worse, he guesses.

They’re now babysitting brats again, and there’s these two little girls that made Todoroki and Bakugou a flower crown. Todoroki smiles awkwardly (but gentle and polite) at them, and lets one of the girls to put the crown on his head.

Bakugou, on the other hand, is definitely not using that, thank you very much.

That’s, obviously, until Todoroki just decides to put it in his head anyways.

Bakugou turns to look at him, irritated. "Hey, asshole!“

Todoroki, on the other hand, looks pretty amused for someone that is almost always wearing that boring expression on his face. He is now smirking at him (just a little bit, but still), and he has the audacity to accommodate the crown on Bakugou’s head and adjust his hair with his fingers.

“What? I think you look pretty nice.” The asshole is obviously trying not to laugh his ass off, and is pissing Bakugou off.

“You think you’re funny, bastard?”

“I don’t think so, I am.”

Bakugou huffs at him. "Oh, yeah, my bad, I forgot how hilarious you are.“ He exclaims, sarcasm spilling from every word.

Todoroki seems as impassive as ever, though. "Is fine, I accept your humble apology.”

Bakugou wants to punch his face. “Excuse me? I didn’t even—”

“Now you have to kiss!”

The childish yell from one of the girls has them both stopping their bickering and looking down at her.

“Huh?” Todoroki says, conveying Bakugou’s feelings in a laconic but efficient way.

“Yes!” The other girl says. “For the wedding!”

“Wedding?” Todoroki looks like a lost puppy, tilting his head to one side in tremendous confusion. Bakugou doesn’t blame him, though. He is just as lost.

“Uh-huh!” One of them says, excited, as she bounces on her heels, and then points to Todoroki. "You’re the husband and”, then, she points out at Bakugou, “you’re the wife! And you have to kiss each other! Like at weddings!”

Well, you can’t beat that logic, huh. (Sarcasm.)

No way. What the fuck. "HAH?“ Bakugou exclaims, “why am I the wife? No, forget that, why are we a wedding, what the—?”

Bakugou can’t finish his long complaining, though.

Todoroki leans in and —it’s barely a quick peck, but— there’s definitely a pair of lips on his that weren’t there before. They’re there and they’re gone as fast as they came in the first place, but they were there.

“Waah—” Bakugou steps back on his feet, blinks as he feels heat swirling around the tips of his ears. He frowns at Todoroki, who looks at him with the same bored expression as always, imperturbable. “You— asshole, what the fuck? Don’t kiss people out of nowhere!”

Todoroki barely bats an eyelid in his direction before turning to the little girls in front of him, who are jumping out of joy with bright, big eyes.

“Was that okay?” He asks, boring tone, boring face, as if he hadn’t just kissed Bakugou, holy—

“Hey! Don’t ignore me!”

“Yes!” The little girls squeal out in unison; they beam.

“Good, then.” Todoroki gives a little, firm nod, as if he was a soldier who just completed a mission and the captain gave him permission to withdraw after a report. Then, he turns around to look at Bakugou, who blinks in return, “We have to help Inasa and Camie over there.” He says, and starts walking.

Bakugou blinks in his place. One, two, three times. Four.

“Haaah?” He tramples behind him. “Don’t walk in front of me, asshole! And what was that about?!”

Todoroki just slides on the ground next to him. He barely raises a single eyebrow, just a little. "Mm?“

Bakugou stomps harder. "You just kissed me there—”

Todoroki raises his eyebrow more, an expression of confusion all over his face, like he doesn’t understand what the problem is. "They asked for it.“ He says, like is something obvious and he doesn’t understand why Bakugou is even mentioning the subject.

Bakugou raises both eyebrows and waves his arms, while Todoroki continues to look at him with the same expression. "Yeah, no shit.” Bakugou fake baffles, rolling his eyes. “That doesn’t mean you have to do it, dumbass!” He remarks, scowling at him.

Todoroki frowns. “But they could have cried if we didn’t do it, or—”

“We could have faked it, or, I don’t know, some shit!”

Todoroki’s frown deepens. "Oh.“

Always so eloquent. “Yeah, bastard, oh.”

Bakugou crosses his arms and stomps, watching Todoroki look like he just had an epiphany. He looks at the ground, purses his lips in a thin line, and when he looks at Bakugou, he has the decency to look at himself as awkward as Bakugou feels. “Sorry, I didn’t know it would bother you so much.”

Hah?

Todoroki turns on his feet and goes where wind-guy and illusion-girl are standing.

Haaah?

.

.

.

The third time it happens, it’s technically Kaminari’s fault too, like the first time. His and the entire Idiot Brigade’s.

"Pleeeeeeease.”

“Fuck off, Kirishima.”

“Oh, come on, dude, just one! It will be fun!”

“Fuck off, Pikachu.”

Bakugou turns the page without even looking over the cover of the book he’s reading while the irritating idiots keep making noise from his place on the floor. He scowls a little. Somehow, the Idiot Brigade managed to convince him to come down from his room to the lobby to enjoy the “wonderful and really fun” (quoting Shitty Hair) (vaguely improvised and messy, if you ask Bakugou) “pre-Christmas” party after the return to UA. With the new bedrooms, his dumbass class seemed to think it was an awesome idea to “share and hang out”, and even Glasses agreed with it as long as there was no alcohol or “too much noise that could disturb the tranquility of his fellow companions ”.

Whatever. It was stupid beyond limits, and Bakugou doesn’t even know why he’s there in the first place. It’s past nine o’clock, it’s dark outside, and he wants to go to bed now. And no, he’s not a grandpa, but he is bored, the music is loud (Glasses, what the fuck are you doing? Didn’t you want “silence” and “quiet”?) and he wants his eight hours of sleep to pay attention in class properly so he can beat everyone up and be the number one hero, thank you very much.

But now Kirishima and Kaminari are bothering him with some stupid, stupid game, playing “dares” like fucking dumb middle schoolers, and nope, there’s no way in hell he—

“Meh, leave him alone, guys.” Finally, a voice of reason in all this mess, thank— “he’s obviously scared one of the dares will be too much for him.”

“Hah?” Bakugou snaps, whipping the book against his lap and looking up at Sero’s dirty smile just mere meters from him.

“Oooohh.” Shitty Hair and Piss Hair have the audacity to sing-song like idiots in chorus.

“I see. Sorry man.” Kirishima says, but the way he’s grinning at him makes Bakugou think that he is enjoying all of this very, very much.

“Yeah, dude, all cool. Don’t worry about it.” Kaminari adds, grinning all wide.

Bakugou grunts as he feels how the vein on his forehead is going to burst out. He clenches his hands into fists, swings his legs off the couch and stomps on the floor, smoking.

“Who are you calling scared, assholes?” Bakugou stomps hard to where Kaminari holds a stupid bowl with papers inside. He takes it, mumbling curses under his breath about how stupid the game is, how stupid the party is and how stupid they all are, and pulls out a piece of paper (along with many others that overflow from the edge, spill and fall to the floor thanks to the strength with which he puts and removes the hand from the container).

He unfolds the paper so strongly; it is surprising it doesn’t break.

Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero continue to smile like the idiots they are.

On the paper, there’s only one word, scrawled messily in what he supposes should be the center of the white square.

Kiss.

Huh? Bakugou flips the paper over, picks it up and sees it against the lights. He scowls at it.

“What is this supposed to mean? Kiss? Kiss what?”

“Kiss who, you moron.” Raccoon Eyes says in her typical squeaky voice, smiling as wide as all the other idiots are. Ah. Why is Bakugou surrounded by so many idiots, and, most importantly, how and why does Bakugou even hears them. She giggles in an annoying way and then smirks at him. "We’re supposed to tell you who you’re going to kiss and you have to do it.“

Bakugou doesn’t like the malicious gleam that sets in her eyes a moment later.

"That’s fucking stupid.” Bakugou says, but there’s something that pulls in his stomach and threatens to tip his dinner out. He doesn’t want to kiss anyone, no, and this is all ridiculous anyways, because—

Mina shrugs. "You can always reject it if it’s too much for you, but you’ll have to take a punishment later.“

"But you know, Mina, kissing someone must be easy-peasy for him anyways, don’t you think?” Sero drawls, with a sardonic voice.

Bakugou is gonna kill him. Bakugou is gonna kill them all. Bakugou is going to tell them to go fuck themselves, that they can put their stupid paper and their stupid game in their asses, and that he is going to go to sleep now and he will not take any stupid punishment because the game is incredibly stupid anyways.

Of course, the lack of his usual hours of rest should be affecting his brain already, because what comes out of his mouth, bellowing, instead, is:

“Fuck you, Pinky. And fuck you too, Soy face. Fuck you all. I’m going to kiss whoever you want and is going to be the best fucking kiss they’re ever going to get because I'm that good in everything and I’m not a goddamn coward, you hear me?”

Of course, Sero and Mina don’t back down at all, like they were waiting for that kind of reaction.

Some of his classmates turn to look at him in the middle of his outburst, peeking over from their seats. Most of them have made at least one challenge from the bowl already, so they were paying attention anyways before the screaming. There is a myriad of different reactions. Most of them only look with curiosity. There is a slight anguish expression written over the frog girl’s face, tapping her fingers again and again on her lips; same as Uraraka, who sways on her feet standing next to her. Glasses seems extremely concerned that Bakugou is going to explode the living room at any time and Ponytail fidgets in her place, right next to where Jirou is smirking at all them, seeming amused. She has even lower the volume of the music.

“Um, guys, maybe—” Ponytail begins to say, her voice soft and elegant and polite as always, looking through her long lashes with a slight frown over the pink haired girl.

Ashido doesn’t beat an eyelash at all, though. Her smirk widens, and she crosses her arms over her chest, beaming. "Good, then.“

Bakugou growls at her.

Whatever. She just needs to say the name fucking now, so he can—

"I dare you to kiss—” by the way her eyes are shining, Bakugou almost wants to recoil. He swears to God, if she says Mineta or some shit, he’s going to— “Todoroki.”

…

… huh?

“HAH?”

There’s silence after he explodes, and then Kaminari snorts and Kirishima starts to chuckle besides him.

“You heard me, boy.” Mina smiles, all fake innocence and real devilish. “Go and give Todoroki the best kiss he’s ever gonna get.”

Bakugou growls at the clear mockery of his previous words, and there is something that slips slowly and dangerously inside him.

They want him to snog Todoroki in the couch right in front of everyone? Fine. He’s not a coward, he’s not backing off some stupid ass-challenge like that.

He turns around, and looks at where Todoroki is sitting, right next to where Bakugou was reading a moment ago on the couch, watching the entire conversation in silence. He blinks, and seems genuinely surprised when Bakugou walks resolutely towards him, as if he didn’t expect Bakugou to comply with what was said.

Well, no. It’s not like he wants to kiss Todoroki, he’s just not a coward.

Bakugou stops just in front of him and Todoroki looks up at him, seeming completely lost at what’s going on.

It seems like he is about to say something then, but Bakugou leans over, stretches his arm, takes him from the neck of his shirt and pulls him up. Whatever he was going to say dies on his lips when Bakugou crashes against him. He does a quiet, little, surprised sound at the back of his throat, and Bakugou leans in, swallows it in his own mouth.

If he’s honest, Bakugou has never kissed anyone before that’s not this idiot, and the previous times they weren’t even decent kisses, so he cannot say he has experience. Frankly, he has no idea what he’s doing, but he supposes it can’t be that complicated. Bakugou is naturally good at everything he does, so he just has to try something.

Todoroki’s lips are soft, actually, and from that distance, he can perfectly smell the shampoo of his hair. The fabric of his sweater wrinkles between his fingers when he tilts his head in another better angle, his knee resting at the side of Todoroki’s leg on the couch, his other hand sliding to Todoroki’s wrist. It is thin, and Bakugou’s fingers slide down his sleeve, his nails carefully scraping and scratching at the skin; honestly, he has no idea what he’s doing, but Todoroki makes a little sound that seems content and pleased once he does it, so he supposes that it’s okay. With his fingers there, he can feel Todoroki’s heartbeat rumble against his body, trying to get out.

It doesn’t feel that bad.

Trying to remember something he has seen in some shitty rom-com movie with the old hag time ago, or with Shitty Hair and Pinky, Bakugou pushes his tongue on the edge of Todoroki’s mouth, gently licks his bottom lip, sucks that very lip between his own, and Todoroki opens his mouth, pulls air, makes that surprise sound again. Bakugou takes the opportunity to introduce his tongue into his mouth, and then everything becomes a little fuzzy.

He vaguely notices the way Todoroki’s body relaxes (unravels, melts) at the same time that a song he doesn’t know explodes in the speakers behind him, all whispers muffled in the back of his head.

Frankly, the idea of ​​sticking his tongue in someone’s mouth, or of someone sticking their tongue in his, seemed totally unpleasant to him and nothing like to put on his list of things he wanted or wished to do. But when he leans in a little, Todoroki tilting his head closer to him, closing his eyes, his eyelashes tickling Bakugou’s cheeks— when Todoroki’s fingers move against the nape of his neck, get into his hair, pull Bakugou towards him, like he’s asking, pleading for more— when Todoroki breathes against him, making a soft, humming sound each time Bakugou moves his tongue in a certain way, his pulse rippling, going rampage against Bakugou’s fingers— when Todoroki’s tongue tentatively touches his, slowly, deliberately, as if he was afraid of doing it…

Well, Bakugou supposes it could be worse.

Then, Bakugou releases his sweater and pushes his hand gently against the top of Todoroki’s chest, breaking out to take air, to breath. Todoroki doesn’t open his eyes yet, his long lashes trembling against his cheeks. Their lips make a shameful, embarrassing, obscenely wet sound when they break apart, and Bakugou tries not to think about whose the thread of saliva hanging from his lips the moment he moves apart a little is.

Todoroki opens his eyes then, so slow, slow, slow, and looks at him. He looks at Bakugou like is the first time he had seen him, through the curtain of his eyelashes with stormy eyes full of emotions and glazed, and there is something in Bakugou’s stomach that pulls at him hard, like he’s going to vomit, but he doesn’t feel nauseated or disgusted. At all.

Todoroki blinks, and is at that moment when he realizes three things: one, he is still terribly close to him; two, he hasn’t moved his hands; and three, there is a sepulchral silence behind him except for the music.

Bakugou moves.

And then someone behind him starts to laugh. He assumes is Pikachu.

“Wow, dude, you went all out there—”

Mina starts laughing too.

There’s a light pink dust covering Todoroki’s cheeks, and he’s still gasping for air. Bakugou’s not going to lie, it’s almost—

“There. I’m going to bed now.” Bakugou says then. He turns around, just to find people with wide eyes, people blushing, and the idiots cackling or shit-eat grinning. "I hope you all die, assholes, so you can’t bother me anymore.“

"We love you too!” Raccoon Eyes says, grinning like a moron.

“Yeah, yeah. Night. Assholes. ”

Then he walks and disappears down the hall, his book forgotten on the couch. Once he reaches the elevator, he thinks he can still hear laughter and murmurs behind him.

“Wow, I think he broke Todoroki!”

“Yeah, are you okay, dude?”

Fucking morons.

.

“Haaaah?” Bakugou exclaims, perplexed. “It’s fucking what now?”

“Enchanted!" Kaminari quips up, like he’s dead serious, but grinning like a goofball. "It’s a quirk from a girl from Class B.”

Enchant mistletoes? What kind of quirk so useless is that? It’s fucking bullshit and he’s not going to buy that shit. Nope.

He’s not kissing Todoroki again. No.

Because, yeah, he apparently has to kiss that bastard again.

He can’t even calmly fight with him in the hall now because of these dumb morons.

“Hah, yeah, really funny, Pikachu. I’m going to believe that some girl has a quirk that enchants mistletoes. ”

“It’s not that, actually," Ponytail says, kindly, peeking over at the boy's side; and before Bakugou can sneer at the blonde, she adds, "her quirk is enchanting objects to bind them to people. If you don’t use the object for its "function”, you can’t detach from the object by far more than two meters. Kaminari thought it was a good idea to make a joke like this,“ she explains, and side-eyes him, mildly frowning in disapproval.

Kaminari smiles, "Sorry,” he says, like he’s not. "But is funny, Momo!“

Iida comes out from behind him like a fleeing robot, waving his arms like crazy. "It is not! Kaminari, that’s some serious behavior and—!”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Bakugou says, “so, what? You’re telling me I have to kiss Half-and-half again because that’s what mistletoes are for and if I don’t, then I can’t move from here?”

Momo looks anxious to respond, seeming afraid that Bakugou would explode Todoroki after she answers. "Basically,“ she responds, anyway.

"WH—”

Bakugou can’t finish, however, because Todoroki takes him by the nape of his neck and kisses him. Hard.

Bakugou supposes it is a bit to take revenge of him for that crazy kiss in the party, because he doesn’t think is so necessary for the kiss to be so open (somehow, he can’t manage to think of another way to describe it), but there he is, Todoroki, kissing him like his life depends on it, digging his nails into Bakugou’s neck, burying his teeth in Bakugou’s lower lip, dragging his tongue a little later and— wow, okay.

Okay.

Bakugou did not just make that sound, holy shit. He just didn’t.

He supposes that he actually did it, because Todoroki breaks up the kiss, lips bruised like at the last kiss they had, and fucking smirks at him. Smirks.

Then, he just turns around and walks down the hall.

“Bastard, what the fuck!”

Todoroki doesn’t even stop.

“ASSHOLE!”

He hates how he can feel Todoroki’s teeth on his lips all day.

.

.

He kisses Todoroki again.

He kisses Todoroki again, even if he was supposedly never kissing him again. He kisses him at Todoroki’s birthday party, after someone (he can’t remember, probably Racoon Eyes or Jirou) jokes about Bakugou kissing Todoroki as his birthday gift, given those “wild” kisses before, as she likes to describe them. This one is different, though. Is barely a peck, (and, obviously, a joke) (not like the others ones were for real, per se, but) but Bakugou feels like Todoroki leans a bit more and follows him (maybe not, it was such a subtle movement that Bakugou probably imagined it) after Bakugou breaks the kiss.

Is not a bad kiss. It’s not even a kiss if they count the others they have given each other already, and it’s just a joke so it’s fine.

Yeah.

.

.

.

He kisses him again, though. Six months later.

However, it’s Todoroki’s fault this time.

Some time after that third kiss on the party, or maybe after Todoroki’s birthday party, or just… along the way, Todoroki and Bakugou seemed to… get along, for lack of better, more appropriate words. Their relationship was somewhat complicated, he supposed, or maybe it wasn’t that hard to understand at all, but at some moment, at some point, Todoroki and he began to spend more time together. Just casual, while Bakugou was reading a book, or studying, or helping Todoroki with something school-related, about the classes they had, because holy Hell, Todoroki’s notes were a fucking mess and all over the place and how the HELL are you the fifth in class… who takes notes like this, Icyhot? Is this what you call notes? What the fuck? Really, what the fuck?

Or simply hanging out with the Idiot Brigade in one of their rooms or in the living room. Sometimes (weird times, scattered times) they would be alone in his or Todoroki’s room, quietly resting most of the time, each one with his homework, Bakugou scrolling through his phone while Todoroki binge reads some new manga he just bought.

Like that time, in summer, on a Saturday, when Todoroki knocked on his door at 11am (early, because Todoroki is a damn brick that can be asleep until 2pm, what the fuck?), and peeked through his doorframe, entering as if he were in his own room, sitting on his bed, a manga with the title Erased on the cover hanging from his right hand.

“What do you want, idiot?”

Todoroki had opened his manga on a bookmark and had laid down on the bed, starting to read. "Hmm. Dress up, Kaminari and Mina want to go to the mall, and Kirishima sent me to look up for you.“

Bakugou didn’t know when Todoroki had become so attached to the Idiot Brigade and started to spend more with them as a group, but it had only happened.

"Huh. So now you’re the official dog that comes looking for me?" Bakugou had snickered, and Todoroki had shrugged, still focused on his reading, without even sparing a glance at him.

"More like the one who has to drag you because nobody from the Bakusquad stands you in the mornings to do it.” He had answered.

Bakugou had kicked him before diving into his closet and then starting to dress up.

“I told you not to call it that, it’s stupid.” And it was. The name of his “group of friends” (more like, bunch of annoying idiots that stick to him) with which Kaminari had stupidly decided to baptize them and with which the Brigade of Idiots (plus Todoroki) had decided to come along was totally ridiculous. Idiot Brigade was so much better.

The Idiot Brigade didn’t think so, though.

“Hm. If you think about it, they called it like that because they care about you.”

“More like they're a bunch of morons that like to mess with me and make me angry all the fucking time.”

Todoroki hummed while turning on the page. "I think it’s their own way of telling you you are very important to them, even if you think is annoying. Because, for them, you are a very important part of their group, so—”

“Yeah, yeah, cut the sappy shit already; I’m ready.”

“I’m just saying— oh, wow.”

Bakugou looked up from where he was tying his converse and stood up, expecting to see Todoroki absorbed in a page of his manga (the only times he made some surprise sound or some noise loud enough to be heard), only to find him looking directly at him. Or more like, at his legs.

“What?”

Todoroki had blinked, looked at his face, and then back at his legs, seemingly unable to look away.

“You’re wearing jeans.” He had stated, simply, as if that was enough to explain everything and nothing at all.

Bakugou had looked at his jeans (ripped jeans) and then at Todoroki.

“Yeah” He had said, “is hot as hell and these are fresh enough”, he had frowned, confused, “what about it?”

Todoroki had blinked, suddenly emerging out from his stupor. And then he had looked away, suddenly interested in the one and only All Might’s figure sitting on the small table next to Bakugou’s bed. "Nothing.“

Bakugou had frowned, but he had easily brushed it off. To this day, he can’t quite understand why the Idiot Brigade was shit-eating grinning so much that day.

And looking back, he doesn’t really know why he is remembering that at this specific moment. Maybe because he has the same jeans on.

It’s Deku’s birthday and they’re in a noisy karaoke, and if Bakugou is honest with himself, he really wants to go to the dorms now. Not because Deku is annoying, because he is and he keeps thanking Bakugou so much for his gift (“It’s amazing, Kacchan! Thank you!”), but in fact they have already fixed (at least, somewhat, partially, mostly) that old hostility between them that, Bakugou will not admit it out loud, but it was largely his fault, or because Ashido’s squeaky voice screaming along with Uraraka’s at some girly song is giving him a headache, or because Kaminari keeps cracking bad jokes every fucking time he opens his mouth, but because it’s loud and the food is not even that good and he does not like parties. Maybe he is a grandpa, after all. Not that he’s going to admit that out loud.

Todoroki gets up from his seat and sways a little, because, oh yeah, he forgot to mention it, the fucking dumbass is drunk as hell because he's that much of a moron and he ordered a drink with alcohol without even knowing. The big idiot. After about three glasses, he must be a little drunk, if the way his eyes shine a strange glow when he looks at Bakugou is some indication.

He seems a bit off, too.

He supposes it’s part of the problem, aside from Todoroki being a complete idiot, and it is probably the reason why he ends up kissing him two minutes after the asshole gets up from his seat.

He looks at him through his eyelashes, with glazed, mesmerizing eyes. He says his name, barely audible with the shrill sound of the music, and then he lets himself fall on his lap, straddling his hips, descending to his level with a terribly slow movement that makes Bakugou feel dizzy (God, he seriously needs to get out of there, all the noise is affecting him. But at the same time, with Todoroki in his lap, he suddenly doesn’t want to get out and, shit, the sound it’s definitely affecting him), and Todoroki is saying something, something that Bakugou can’t listen, and then he leans in and down and he’s suddenly kissing him. Hard.

Todoroki is making out with him, in a messy, messy way, and is wet, and is hot, and Bakugou has his hands on Todoroki’s hips, and Todoroki has his hands on Bakugou’s hair, and it’s all really, really messy.

Bakugou doesn’t even know what he’s doing anymore.

Of course, the next day, when Todoroki is complaining about the fatal headache he has. laying down on his back on the couch, sinking his hands in his face when he remembers how he attacked (for lack of, uh, a better word) Bakugou the day before, apologizing to a thousand miles per hour, Iida scolding him about “inappropriate and indecent behavior in a public space”, and Bakugou is trying hard not to laugh out loud, he actually feels it was worth it.

.

They don’t kiss after that, though. In like, half a year or so.

Bakugou doesn’t know how he feels about that.

.

.

.

“Do you like Todoroki-kun, Kacchan?”

Bakugou almost chokes on air. He turns around mid-step on his moves to find Deku standing next to him in the gym. There are not people close enough around (nobody wanting to be a victim of the debris flying out because of Bakugou’s new movements) (which, by the way, does not happen that often, dammit) to listen, but Bakugou moves uncomfortably anyways. An anguish feeling starts crawling inside him. If someone hears— not like it was true, but still—

“What the fuck, nerd? What are you saying?”

“Hmm, well, I was just wondering, because the other day you—”

“No, I don’t like that bastard and I don’t know where did you get that stupid idea from.”

Deku tilts his head and. And he just stares at him. He scans his face like he’s looking for something, and it makes Bakugou feel idly hyper-aware of himself so suddenly.

“Whatever, shitty nerd, aren’t you supposed to be training? You’re not going to keep up with me if you keep doing that stupid thing with your feet every time you do your new move.”

He blinks and looks at his feet, and then at Bakugou again. "Oh. My feet. Right. Thanks, Kacchan.“

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, just shut up already and go away.”

Bakugou does his best to keep a face and tone boring or irritated, but the stupid nerd must see through it as if he were an open book, if the way he smiles at Bakugou is some indication. It’s obvious he’s avoiding the subject he just mentioned on purpose.

“Sure, Kacchan. See you, then.”

-

Stupid, stupid Deku. Stupid nerd and his stupid, ridiculous ideas. He doesn’t like Todoroki. He definitely doesn’t like Todoroki.

Sure, they get along better after all the extra training together, and sure, Bakugou doesn’t want to punch his face all the time like before, and yeah, maybe they’re somewhat like friends now, but he doesn’t, does not like him.

No.

So what if they spend even more time together? It’s not like he doesn’t spend time with those idiots either. So what if Bakugou is helping him with some classes sometimes after school? Bakugou tutors Kirishima, Kaminari and Mina too. Maybe he’s less patient with them, but that’s because they’re fucking idiots. So what if they watch a movie from time to time in the living room? They’re never rom-com shits or something, and they usually do it with other people around. So it’s. Not weird. Not weird at all.

And Bakugou doesn’t like him. Nope.

(They haven’t even kissed in all this time!)

Not weird. Definitely not weird. Definitely not weird that Bakugou knows Todoroki’s favorite food now (is cold soba, what the ever living fuck?) —he even told Baldy that time too— and the way his face softens when he’s eating it. It’s totally, definitely not weird Bakugou knows Todoroki’s favorite manga, or favorite color. Not weird how Bakugou has noticed the way Todoroki frowns when he’s deep thinking, how he hits his pencil against his notebook when he’s trying to solve a particularly complicated algebraic problem, how his eyes look a different shade in the sunlight, how the center of his head mixes both colors of his hair when he just had a nap on the floor of Bakugou’s room (which is, definitively, totally and completely not endearing, no); how awfully terrible he is at cooking and at washing, too (seriously, how the hell can you live alone here, Icyhot?), how his face looks after receiving a message from Endeavor (the way it wrinkles and crumples, and there’s an ugly line on his forehead, between his eyebrows, and Bakugou’s hands itch to drag his fingers and make it go away—), how he has his small and rare smiles, which are soft and barely noticeable; how—

No.

Definitely. Not. Weird.

So what if Bakugou is noticing all these things? Bakugou is very observant, and he pays close attention to everyone even if he doesn’t want to. He knows Kirishima’s favorite food too, and he knows how awful Kaminari’s hair looks after gross sleeping and babbling in the couch when they’re supposed to be studying math with Shitty hair and Raccoon eyes. He knows about that irritating habit Ashido has of biting her nails when she’s nervous before a test, and about Sero’s weird taste in mangas too.

So it’s not weird, right? Right. It’s not weird.

He’s just noticing because Todoroki is spending a lot of time with him lately, so it’s just logic. It makes sense. Yeah.

Not weird.

It doesn’t stop him to think about it all day, though. And by the time he’s looking at the cold sky night, dressed in a simple jacket, baggy pants and a scarf, he doesn’t notice Todoroki looking at him until he says his name.

“Bakugou?”

Bakugou blinks. Todoroki is wearing a simple black turtleneck, a brown, long coat and black boots. There are some strands of hair falling on his forehead and Bakugou tries not to think about the fact that he wants to move them with his own hand, and neither about the fact that Todoroki looks like a fucking magazine cover model with just casual jeans (damn it, jeans? It was snowing just a few minutes ago, holy hell, what’s wrong with him? If he gets sick Bakugou is not making him soup again, definitely not) and a coat.

“Hm?” Bakugou makes a sound with his throat, because from Todoroki’s look, he assumes he is waiting for an answer. "What, Icyhot?“

Todoroki grimaces at the nickname, but says nothing. "I asked you if you wanted some,” he says, instead, and picks up the skewer he holds in his hand.

It must be from a nearby local. Their whole class is messily scattered around. Somehow (being really insistent and annoying, if you ask him) they convinced Aizawa-sensei to let them go out to see the fireworks for New Year. At this moment he must be regretting saying yes, though, as he bends over himself and apologizes for Mineta’s behavior with a young lady just a few meters from where Bakugou and Todoroki are.

Iida also seems about to have an attack, (Deku standing behind him trying to calm him down), relentlessly scolding Kaminari while he hangs like a goofball from the edge of the hill they are, Momo trying to calm him down and help, Jirou laughing like crazy at her side because of the poor dead state the blond boy is in after using all his electricity to fry whatever he has in his hand, Mina, Sero and Uraraka joining her in chorus while they bend over themselves and cackle, and Kirishima scratching his neck awkwardly, smiling apologetic at Iida, stumbling with embarrassed apologies.

It sure it’s a view. And if Bakugou was not having a damn crisis, it would have been… cozy, to use a word. Which, certainly, is disconcerting. When did he start to feel so comfortable with these idiots? (He knows it, but the number is alarmingly much earlier than it should be to mention it).

He turns to Todoroki, who has moved to look at Bakugou’s line of sight. He has a soft expression on his face. His lips barely curling up in a little, little smile, his eyes warm.

Bakugou doesn’t really know how much time he stands there looking at him, but suddenly, Todoroki is looking at him with the corner of his eye and raising an eyebrow, as if to say “is something wrong? why are you staring?”

“Uh.” Bakugou says, like a moron. "What is that thing?“ He asks then, pointing to Todoroki’s hand, and trying not to say anything stupider.

Todoroki looks at his hand and raises the skewer again. "Yakitori.” He says, and then he tips the food in Bakugou’s direction. "But is spicy, so I thought you would want some.“

Bakugou narrows his eyes. "You can’t stand spicy food.”

Todoroki shrugs. And then he presses his lips a bit in a way that makes it look like he’s pouting. "I can stand spicy food.“

Bakugou smirks before he can think better. "Yeah, sure.”

Todoroki frowns. "I can.“

Bakugou’s smirk widens. "Uh-huh.”

Todoroki just pushes the skewer into Bakugou’s mouth, quite-not-but-almost pouting all the way, and Bakugou chuckles. He bites before he even realizes the way it looks, because, even if he was a bit aggressive, Todoroki is feeding him.

“Just shut up.” Todoroki mutters under his breath, and Bakugou smirks after chewing.

“It’s really good.” He says.

Todoroki looks at him and is about to say something when Kaminari whistles.

“Indirect kiss!” He shouts at them, Mina and Sero cackling.

Bakugou stomps where they are and takes Kaminari by the neck with one hand, the other making a threatening spectacle with small explosions. Aizawa is hitting the back of his neck with a book just a second later.

Todoroki just looks from behind, cheeks a bit warm.

.

They’re standing in the middle of the crowd, waiting for the fireworks to start. Bakugou is leaning against a railing, the Idiot Brigade in front of him excessively talking and laughing at something, Todoroki at his side, looking at the sky in silence.

It has started to freeze more as the night goes on, and Bakugou has always been a little easy-to-get-cold, which is terrible considering winter in Japan.

It’s probably the twentieth time he rubs his hands together, trying, uselessly, to give them a little heat with friction, and he’s about to take his gloves out of his jacket’s pocket when Todoroki moves to his side among the people, makes himself space, press against his other side, his back against the railing now, and takes his right hand between his left.

Bakugou freezes.

“W—”

Then Todoroki begins to produce heat. From his hand.

Huh.

“Is it better?” He asks, looking at him through his long eyelashes. "You seemed like you were freezing.“

"Uh.” Bakugou says, like a moron. Through the crowd, he can see Kirishima and Kaminari smiling broadly at him behind Todoroki, and even Deku is giving him a kind of look that is getting on his nerves. Why are they suddenly looking at them? What’s going on? "Yeah, it’s good.“ What. What the fuck. Did he just—

Todoroki shrugs and continues with the same flat, blank expression without letting go of his hand. "Okay”. He says, simply.

God, he’s Fucked. Like, Fucked with Capital F.

He likes holding Todoroki’s hand. What the fuck. What the fuck, fuck, fuck.

Are his cheeks warming up? It seems like that. Shit, please no. What the fuck is going on anymore, his own body is betraying him.

Then, Todoroki squeezes his hand, and Bakugou looks at him only to look at the sky afterwards, to where Todoroki is looking.

A second later, the fireworks explode in the sky, coloring the black mantle with thousands of colored lights. It’s a magnificent sight, actually.

Beside him, Todoroki makes a noise, low in the back of his throat and his breathing catches softly. Bakugou looks down and looks at him, and it’s like he was suddenly looking at the world from another angle.

Todoroki has his head thrown back, his hair falling gracefully and moving with the bit of wind; his fingers are warm against Bakugou’s hand, his lips are partially open, surprised, in awe, and his eyes. The colored lights are reflected on there, and they are shining, shining, shining, and the expression on Todoroki’s face is so open, so impressed, and Bakugou remembers that Todoroki didn’t have this kind of things when he was a child, he didn’t have this as he grew up, and he realizes that is probably the first time he’s seeing something like this.

There is something that pulls inside of him. In his stomach, in his throat. His ears buzz a little, and there is a sticky, soft warmth that slides all inside of him.

Bakugou has never considered himself an inveterate romantic or something along that, but there is something, something, something there, inside him, that moves and pulls and destabilizes him. Something agitated and chaotic that is making noise, so much noise, and so loud, like the waves crashing on the sea’s coast in the middle of a storm.

Fuck. He likes Todoroki, doesn’t he?

Fuck.

Is this how it feels? To have… feelings for someone?  So indescribably warm, and soft, and messy and…

Todoroki looks at him, and his eyes open a fraction when he realizes that Bakugou is watching him back. Shit, Bakugou’s heart is going to come out of his chest. But Todoroki says nothing, just looks at him, squeezes his hand. His lips begin to curve a little, in that soft, private smile that is so him, and, somehow, it seems strangely intimate. 

He looks at the sky again, then, pressing his side just a little at his, probably very aware at Bakugou’s open staring and— oh yeah. He’s fucked.

He’s royally fucked now.

.

“You’re acting weird lately.”

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are.”

Bakugou doesn’t look up from the work on his desk. “I’m not.”

Todoroki sighs. “But you are.” He insists. “You’ve been… Hm. More quiet, I guess?”

Bakugou turns around in his seat to look at him, frowning, an annoyed scowl on his face. “Hah? What does that even mean, asshole?”

Todoroki looks him straight in the eyes and Bakugou feels that ugly tug on his stomach that hasn’t stopped bothering him lately every time Todoroki is around him.

They are alone in his room before dinner time on a Monday, Bakugou finishing Midnight’s homework due to Wednesday and Todoroki playing dumb by lazily reading Shingeki no Kyojin last volume on the floor instead of working on it too.  He doesn’t shut up about it lately, always arguing with Sero about Eren and Levi and some Armin too. Eldians this, eldians that. It’s kind of endearing, actually, even if Bakugou does not understand half of what he’s talking about most of the time.

“There’s something bothering you?” Todoroki asks, then, still looking at his eyes. “I mean, I know you don’t like talking about those things, but if you—”

Bakugou gets up from his seat to sit in front of him on the floor. “I’m fine, you moron.” He is not, though. Not with Todoroki so fucking close and so fucking pretty and so fucking nice.

Todoroki doesn’t look convinced at all. He leans forward just a bit, frown framing his face, opening slightly his lips, “But—”

Bakugou taps his forehead with the palm of his hand. Todoroki stops leaning and rubs at the place that’s been hit. He almost pouts. And is fucking endearing, holy shit.

“I’m fine. Stop worrying.”

Todoroki frowns. “Okay, but if you need to talk, I—”

“I know, asshole.” Bakugou says, and it doesn’t sound soft, but it feels soft. In his tongue. In the air. “I know.”

Todoroki looks at him for ten long, eternal seconds with something in his eyes before just sighing through his teeth and coming back to his manga. “I still think you’re acting weird, though.”

Bakugou raises a single eyebrow at that. “Do you want me to scream to make you feel better?”

Todoroki’s lips quirk up a little. “That would be nice, thank you.”

This goddamn moron. Why does Bakugou likes him so much?

“Well then”, he says, and sucks a bunch of air before screaming, “DIE! Die, die, die, die!”

He keeps going until Todoroki is laughing, actually laughing, and Bakugou thinks: ah. For that. He likes that moron for that.

.

They’re both eating in the dining room at the dorms, and Bakugou is, again, thinking about how Todoroki’s hair sticks in his forehead. It looks so soft. His hands itch.

This time, however, Bakugou does lean in and touches it. He fucking brushes the hair away from his forehead. Out of the blue. Fucking, stupid, goddamn idiot—

Todoroki looks up at him from his food, eyes mildly wide, surprised (looking a little like someone just hit him with a ball, or like a deer in the headlights, or like Bakugou just grow a second head in front of him).

“Uh.” Bakugou says. Like an idiot. He recoils awkwardly. Todoroki stares at him. “You need to cut your hair. Is long.” Goddammit, he’s so fucking embarrassing. Please, God, take him now.

Todoroki blinks at him. He touches his forehead, absently but hyper-aware of himself all of a sudden. “Oh. Okay.”

“Yeah.” He answers, croaks out. God, he is going to die. That’s the way he’s going to go, there in the middle of a half-dirty, half-clean dining room, in front of the prettiest guy in the world, after touching his hair.

Pathetic.  

He looks away.

Todoroki looks away too. For someone looking from the outside, he looked a bit dazed, a bit surprised, and definitely whipped with his hand still on his forehead and a soft blush on his ears and his cheeks.

Bakugou swears he hears someone face-palm themselves.

.

“You are both so dense it’s not even funny anymore, Bakugou!” Mina whines in his bed. “You obviously like each other and you’ve already kissed, so why not telling each other already?” She cries, like in agony. “I don’t understand! Is making me go crazy!”

“Yeah, dude, I swear I could cut your sexual tension with a knife. Is wild.” Kaminari says.

“Well, you actually wouldn’t because is really thick.” Kirishima points out.

“Right. I guess I just can see it then? Like, is painfully obvious.”

“I agree.” Sero pops out from behind his manga to say.

Bakugou scowls at them. “You are all idiots, he obviously doesn’t like me.”

There’s a pause. Then they all groan like they are going to die.

“Denser than a brick!”

“How can someone so smart be so stupid?”

“I don’t know dude, I think he’s doing it on purpose.”

“Well, I hope! If he’s not, he’s going to make me insane!”

“Right?”

“Yeah!”

“Like, remember that time when Todoroki was blatantly staring at Bakubro’s ass? Damn.”

“Oh, yeah. And that time Bakugou was obviously going to take his hand?”

“That would have been cute if I wasn’t so fed up of that shit already.”

“Mood.”

“OH! And the time they blushed like mad because Bakugou touched his forehead? We were right there!”

“They’re both morons.”

“God, yes, they’re so stupid.”

“Oh and that time when—”

Bakugou rolls his eyes. They aren’t like that at all. At. All. Piss Hair and the others were just all idiots and they liked to be dramatic as hell all the goddamn time.

“oH and WHEN—”

Gaaaaahhhh. Bakugou lets himself drop and lay down on the floor and facepalms himself.

He needs other friends.

Stupid assholes.

.

.

“I like you.”

It’s middle of February around 7pm and they’re standing outside the dorms. The weather is chilly and a bit cold, the sky already making itself dark, purple-ish and pink-ish and gold-ish above their heads. Soft white clouds.

Todoroki just stands there, looking so goddamm thunderstruck and so fucking stunning is making Bakugou go insane equally.

“I like you.” Bakugou says again, and his voice is not tremulous at all, but it is low, lower than the first time he said it, and his hands tremble a little when he moves his fingers to fidget with the scarf around his neck.

Todoroki blushes instantly, seemingly out his stupor, and he looks so fucking pretty. Bakugou doesn’t even feel embarrassed thinking it. He looks so goddamn pretty with his long eyelashes and pretty eyes and pretty face and— Bakugou has to restrain himself not to jump over and kiss the life out him.

“What?” Todoroki finally stumbles with, voice faltering and low.

Bakugou plays with the sleeve of his sweater and looks at the ground, to one side, to Todoroki and then to his own hand. “You heard me; don’t make me say it again.”

There is silence as Bakugou pulls the cloth between his fingers, his breathing in small wisps of white air.

He can hear Todoroki moving awkwardly in front of him. “No”, he says, eventually. “I mean. Yes. I heard you the first time— and the second, I just,” he pauses. Bakugou can see the movement of his foot against the snow. “Are you— you’re—” he keeps stumbling around his own words, and Bakugou looks up at him only to find him looking away, the pretty light blush washing over his cheeks. “You’re not messing with me, right?” he says, finally, voice soft.

Bakugou blinks. Of all the things he expected to hear, the things he thought he would hear—

He walks forward, towards him, and Todoroki turns his head, looks at him and steps back, one step, two steps, and Bakugou continues until he stops right in front of him. He reaches out and takes his arm, not strongly, but firm. Of course, Todoroki could get out of his grip at any moment if he wanted to and flee from there.

But he doesn’t.

Bakugou looks into his eyes.

“Why would I?” Why would I mess with you with something like that?

Todoroki looks at him. He gulps. Bakugou’s eyes snap and follow the movement Todoroki’s Adam apple do before looking at his face again three seconds later.

Todoroki looks at his side. “Well, because I…” he trails off.

Bakugou waits.

And waits.

And then, he squeezes Todoroki’s arm. “You?”

Todoroki looks at him, and he looks so lost. So very lost. Bakugou sighs.

“Look. Is fine. You don’t have to like me back, or some stupid bullshit that’s making you think like crazy. I just like you and I’m tired and if I didn’t say it now, then I’ll probably blurt it out later, because you’re always with me all the fucking time, and I’m not complaining but you have absolutely no fucking idea of how hard it is to not say it right—”

Todoroki blurts out, out of the blue, stopping Bakugou mid-sentence. “Can I kiss you?”

Bakugou almost chokes. “Huh?” He croaks.

“I— I know.” Todoroki says, looking at him intently. “I know how hard it is. I like you too. I know how it is. And I think about kissing you like, maybe all the time, so can I—”

“You like me?” Bakugou breaths out. “You like me back?”

Todoroki looks at him, seeming confused as to why Bakugou looks so surprised. “Yes. I thought it was pretty obvious and for a moment I thought you knew, so when you—”

“No, I didn’t! I didn’t know!”

“Oh.”

“I thought I was the obvious one.”

Todoroki blinks. “No. You. I mean. No.” He shakes his head. “At least I didn’t notice.”

“Huh.”

There’s a long pause until Todoroki looks at him in the eyes again. “Can I— I mean—”

Bakugou can’t help it, he snorts, knowing what Todoroki was going to say.

He steps forwards, leaning in Todoroki’s personal space. And he’s not going to lie, look at Todoroki’s trapped but ever so longing expression is a delight.

“Yes, you moron.” He says, and then leans in more. He can feel Todoroki’s breath against his face. He can see his eyes, close, close, close, and the long, long lashes. He’s so close that he can feel the soft hair tickling his own forehead. God, he’s so gorgeous. How can someone be so fucking pretty. “Kiss me.”

Bakugou has never (a little bit of a lie there, Todoroki really seemed to want to kiss Bakugou at that time in the karaoke) seen Todoroki so eager. He closes the distance between them, craving, and kisses him.

And, God, Bakugou kisses him back.

Bakugou kisses Todoroki as he should be kissed. He savors it, he enjoys it. He digs his fingers in his soft hair, slides them into the pulse of his neck, of his wrist, and Todoroki clings to him like a thirsty man in the middle of a desert, grasping at him desesperately as if he was a single lifeline in the middle of the whole, vast ocean. He leans against him; unravels and melts and tears apart over and over again. He sucks, bites, licks at Bakugou’s lips, and keeps doing sounds Bakugou so long yearned to hear.

God, this is so good.

And they keep kissing, and kissing, and kissing until they feel like freezing, and until Kaminari wolf-whistles while running at them from the door, and Mina cries, throwing her arms in the air and shouting the loudest “FINALLY!” Bakugou has ever heard, Kirishima happily smiling at them with Sero trailing behind.

“We were not spying on you!” Kaminari immediately rushes to say, which means they definitely were. Bakugou finds himself unable to care.

“About time.” Sero scoffs, but he looks genuinely happy.

“I told you!” Mina keeps crying. “I told you! You’re both so stubborn, you were going to make me go old with all the stress!”

Todoroki smiles lightly at her. Bakugou has never seen him so calm before. In a good way. “Mina, that can’t—”

“Well, you both were going to! I’m telling you, you were going to kill me!”

“Seems like we’re smarter than you at this, huh?” Kaminari grins at him. Bakugou just pushes his face with the palm of his hand. Hard.

“Ouch! You meanie! Even after Todoroki warmed you up with a make out session!”

Todoroki seems like he’s going to caught up on fire from embarrassing. Bakugou almost smiles.

“But you are both so cute! So cute! I’m so happy you finally worked it out! I’m gonna cry! I’m gonna cry for real!” Mina actually cries, hugging both of them.

Bakugou rolls his eyes and pats her on the back. “You are all so dramatic, you know? Bunch of goddamn morons.”

“Well, you’re our king after all.” Kaminari says, like is the funniest and most brilliant thing he has ever say.

Bakugou scowls at him. “Hah? What does that even mean, you asshole? I’m not dramatic!”

“You are, though.” Todoroki points out, and when Bakugou looks at him, Todoroki stares right back, deadpan.

Bakugou grunts. “If you weren’t so pretty, I would have punched your face right now.”

Instead of blushing, Todoroki smirks at him. He fucking. Smirks. “Oh, so you think I’m pretty?”

Bakugou scowls. “Don’t be so full of yourself, you know that already.” He has to know. Someone that pretty has to know they are pretty. “Asshole.”

Todoroki’s smirk softens into a real smile. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Huh. That sounded so much fonder than he expected it to.

“AH, they’re so cute! GUYS, THEY’RE SO CUTE! They’re going to kill me!”

“They are, but we better get inside because I’m freezing here already.”

“Yes, yes.”

When they’re heading inside, Todoroki grabs his hand like the cheesy dumbass he is, and Bakugou doesn’t even complain. He leans in Bakugou’s personal space, and whispers into his ear. “I think you’re really pretty too.”

Bakugou pushes his face away with the palm of his hand. “Ugh, you’re so embarrassing.”

Todoroki looks all through him and his snarky comeback, though, and he soft-smiles at him. Bakugou’s ears are getting really warm suddenly.

And when Todoroki leans in again and gives him a peck on the lips, Bakugou feels like dying, but in a good way.

-

Hey, hey, so. That’s it. I hope you all like it! :D Comments are very appreciated! Let me know what you think! c:

[rockettransman]

Rocketman Watch #4 Thoughts

i have so many MORE thoughts can you believe it wow here we go

(i wrote these as i watched it so they’re in order im p sure)

man, his intro monologue during group therapy is just as gripping as it was when I first watched it. And the transition to the bitch is back is so fuckin good. My palms are sweating.

There’s some commentary about forgiving and loving your inner/past child, but I don’t have the words for it at this moment. In the beginning he’s staring down, confused and scowling at his child self, but at the end, he embraces him in a way his father and loved ones never did.

Was he in therapy/rehab WHILE touring and doing music? Stomping into the room in his regalia would have me believe so. I know group therapy was a medium for storytelling. Was it just signaling the very beginning of his story, because we go through different stages through his actions and clothing changes?

Lmao I imagine it must take some pretty cool parents to allow their, like, six or seven year old child to be in this movie. He said bitch so many times.

Took me a hot second to realize the orchestra he’s conducting is playing Rocket Man. The violins are so pretty. Imagine being picked to be in the orchestra on set and getting smile up at the tiny little kid who played Elton. My heart would absolutely swell seeing a little kid being so fantastic at this really intense job.

Kit Connor did amazing in his role. He’s fifteen and he’s already done so much! Imagine growing up knowing you played Elton John as a kid. Getting to work alongside him and his husband and the dozens of incredible actors. Wowie. I’d never shut up about it.

I LOVE how 12 year old Elton is playing the piano SO HARD and is trying to rock out as hard as he can while playing classical music. The boy wanna ROCK dammit.

HE GLANCED UP THE TINIEST BIT WHEN THE MAN ASKED IF ANYONE HAD A FAG (slang for cigarette)

SATURDAY NIGHTS ALRIGHT GIVES ME CONSTANT CHILLS FROM THE START TO FINISH

WOOOW SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ELTON IS CUTE AS HEEELLLL. The hair, glasses, and front tooth gap fit Taron so well. Goddamn I hope I look like 17 year old Elton some day.

The choreography for this number is absolutely breathtaking. You have to get that many people all in sync! We followed Elton running through the crowd and AAHHH it was a lot! The athleticism! And they did it in the rain! Wow I’m blow away.

Elton is JAMMIN in the back of the stage. It’s really sweet to see his smile and enthusiasm and his brain thinking and working.

That guy in the back peed a LOT lmao

I was wondering where thank you for all of your loving came in.

Charlie Rowe plays Ray Williams, and he also plays LEO ROTH from Red Band Society!!! The first time I watched the movie, I KNEW him from somewhere, but I couldn’t place it and it was driving me nuts. Man. RBS was a big crutch during the worst lows of my ED. Had no idea he was English.

Love to see how shy Elton was as a teenager. It’s a hot ass mood. Also, those silk scarves? Ascots? idk but they’re a LOOK.

“One frothy coffee, no froth.”

The acquaintances-to-best-friends montage set to Border Song *chefs kiss*

Rock And Roll Madonna Is A Perfect Song Send Tweet

Lmao Elton is NOT phased at all when he gets accused of being gay. He’s just like. “Nah. I’m like. Not.” Not overly defensive and surprised, like I’m sure other people would be lmaooo

STUMBLING HOME DRUNK WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IS A MILESTONE IN TEENAGEHOOD!!!!!!!

“You are a ssSSHHIIIITT HOT piano player—”

So delicate of Bernie the way he politely denied a kiss from him. It wasn’t weird or tense at all. Just a gentle “love you, but not that way. It’s okay” Some people may not be able to handle it that well even today.

Taron’s got nice thighs. That robe & underwear getup is a nice look.

Love love LOVE hearing him experiment with Your Song on the piano to find a melody that worked.

Honestly what the shit do these songs even mean. Bernie sometimes these words don’t make any sense. Don’t worry, they still slap. “See I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue” like what

AMOREENA IS A PERFECT SONG SEND TWEET

Doug flirting with Bernie makes me snort every time. “Oh, really? That’s.. cool.”

THE TROUBADOUR OUTFIT IS GOOD AS SHIT!!!!!!!!

“NO, BERNIE. YOU ARE UNDERREACTING.”

Taron was right. The overalls do make his ass look massive.

A week ago before this movie I was sick and fuckin TIRED of crocodile rock but now I can’t get enough of it. The movie transformed a lot of old songs I was sick of for me.

Imagine being a kind of shy, nervous kid, terrified to go on stage, but two and a half minutes later the entire venue is LOSING IT because they love the jam YOU WROTE. how cool for Elton.

I want a best friend platonic cheek kiss :(

Hmmmmm I’m wondering if they used the studio recordings that went on the album for the movie or have different movie-specific recordings. Tiny Dancer sounds a teeny bit different in the movie version.

Goddamn I sure hope Taron got to keep that jacket.

“So you liked the song, then?” “Not as much as the singer” *Elton glances away in gay panic*

LMFAO John said some weird colorful words to Elton that barely made sense and he was like OH FUCK GOTTA KISS HIM GOTTA KISS HIM

I’ve talked so much about the sex scene I don’t need to go on about it here. Go search the rocketman tag on my blog for my extensive gay thoughts about it.

Now I know glasses come OFF during sex

oh oh oh I was wondering where Hercules fell in the movie. I love how the songs he’s writing or getting notoriety for is played over the transition scenes.

Elton’s hand on his hip, knowing smirk as John enters the studio. “Hello.”

Bernie is like “HELLO are we RECORDING or are y’all gonna FUCK in the CLOSET?”

*vibrating* Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat Honky Cat

Damn, the flowy white button down with the red pants really is a LOOK

The gestures, staring up at each other, leaning into each other, hands on each other’s chests, damn it makes me feel some typa way. Maybe their love WAS good and fun and exciting while they rode the high of everything before it all went so so bad.

Elton searching John’s gaze while he’s talking and looking like he’s not really paying attention, just looking for a kiss on the couch.. GOD I remember the honeymoon phase of my relationships. So much fun.

His dad going “N-Not really my thing.” That was a metaphor for his SEXUALITY TOO, huh.

Damn. He went to his dad’s to come out to him and he never even got to get to that part. He was just like “....nice shoes....” and even after all this time, didn’t show any interest in his music. If he never was into what he did, how could he even talk about being gay? I’m sure during that scene there were a lot of metaphors to sexuality but I didn’t bother to think much about them.

The eyebrow quirk after his dad says “ah—no. Could you make it out to Arthur?” DAMN Elton was like .. “really. This is what’s happening? Okay. Awesome.”

“What do you have to do to get a fucking drink around here, eh?” *cuts to Elton drinking straight from a bottle*

“Elton—” “Elton!”

John saying “don’t you ever put your hands on me” when he was the one who yanked him from the phone booth AND directly after punching him... woof man. What a shitty dude.

Damn, just noticed John talking very quietly and closely to another man right before he goes on and plays Pinball Wizard. Was this the first sign of him having fun with other men when Elton was indisposed?

Pinball Wizard is absolutely intense and loud and fun, but it DOES carry the tone of “god im SO miserable” under it all. You knew Elton wasn’t having fun.

“It is next week.” Jeezus.

LMAO I just caught the “mom, you’re ON my GOWN” when he reluctantly complies to give the Anderson’s a tour.

Damn, flowy, loose dress shirts with the first few buttons undone is a LOOOOK.

How did they do the overdose scene, you think? Surely the pills Taron took had to be like. Empty. Or placebo affect drugs? Idk. He did take a big drink directly after stuffing his mouth with them. I don’t think he spit them out.

God, there is SOMETHING symbolic about how he meets his child self at the bottom of the pool. Rock bottom? Apologizing? Wishing he could be better? Telling him he’ll never be better?

OH I watched a behind the scenes cut about the pool scene, and none of it was CGI. Taron was weighted under his robe and a SCUBA diver was on standby to provide oxygen. The singing and bubbles coming out of his mouth and stuff underwater was all real.

Dying to know about the choreography around the second chorus, about the undressing and twirling and dressing and injection and handing off of the bat and stuff. That sequence was incredible.

Bennie and the Jets. Damn. It fucks. I listened to it almost the entire time on my run today. (Five miles; I felt like garbage the entire time but it was good anyway.) The scene is wild. He’s in the middle of a drug induced haze orgy. He SHOULD be having the time of his life but he’s so goddamn miserable. (Also, the juxtaposition between Chris Fleming’s Bennie and the Jets is so funny.)

Part of the problem was that John never understood Elton. But, Elton broke it off with John, not the other way around like he said it was. He wasn’t the victim in that regard. John did treat him like shit though.

Victim of Love plays right after that lmao

Renate and he aren’t even close when they do the duet to don’t let the sun go down on me. They’re separated in different rooms, mirroring literally how closed off their relationship was.

The shot with them waking up in different rooms.. damn

His shirt is so LOUD I’m going crazy

Watching Taron down that orange juice made me a little nauseous I gotta say

“Not really I’m gAy”

It’s CRAZY to watch Elton and his mom interact at the dinner scene. He gets accosted and accused of so much by his mom, claiming SHE’S the victim of his actions, making it all about HER and then he turns around and does and says the exact same shit to Bernie.

He yells “Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” at Bernie as he gets into a taxi. THE PROJECTION!! THE DEFLECTION!!!!

I know there’s only so much they can put in two hours, but I wish they showed more of Elton’s eating issues. He had bulimia for sixteen years before he got help. It’s Absolutely the Man With Anorexia in me, but seeing that even men deal with eating disorders quells the lonely aching something in me. I feel that much less alone, you know. Eating disorders aren’t a “woman’s disease.”

How do you think they did his hair? A wig adds more hair, not take it away. He didn’t get his hair cut for it did he?

Seeing Elton’s first love fall apart because John was such a selfish, heartless prick in reality makes me sad.

Elton hugs his inner child when he reconciled with everyone in his past. Goddamn. He found peace and forgiveness for himself, who he was, even after all that time.

When Elton asks him not to go, Bernie refuses, saying this is something he had to do on his own. Healing comes from within alone. No one can help you do it. People can guide you, but you have to work at it. It’s fucking lonely sometimes, but it’s so, so worth it.

I used to loathe I’m Still Standing since i heard it so much at work, but the movie changed my entire perspective on it. I love the slow build up as he exits the rehab center. You don’t get thrown into something so happy and fast paced and fun after a cathartic climax you need to drink in. And the pan to his hat with the rainbow stripe to his smile. I get chills every time. Elton feels so right and secure and happy in himself. At first I thought it was a bit cheesy, but accepting your sexuality, especially after all the hell he went through during his life, grappling with unresolved trauma and fear of abandonment, he absolutely should wear it loud and proud. It’s easy to think times are much easier now being gay, and it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Relative to 1975, it is easier. But it doesn’t mean it’s not such a rough personal thing to work through if you’ve been spit on and resented all your life. Being gay, coming out, and accepting and being comfortable with that fact must’ve been such a HUGE milestone in Elton’s recovery and self-esteem.

Love me again after I’m still standing is perfect. The credits make me tear up every time. Jeez. What a good movie. What a good movie. Hit me up if you wanna talk about Rocketman because I absolutely will with you.

[tassium]

#TAYLOR SWIFT APPRECIATION LIFE

PART 3 - Speak Now

(part 1, part 2)

Hello and again, welcome to the Taylor Swift Appreciation Life. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault-- wait, wrong fandom.

This is probably getting posted in the middle of the night, which doesn’t bode well for anyone actually seeing it, but oh well. It’s time to hop in and see a little more from the amazing @taylorswift by taking the ride through her third album, Speak Now.

1. Mine

I really like this track, but I don’t have a whole lot to say about it. The storytelling in the lyrics is probably my favorite thing about it, and the way the instrumentation propels the song along. And.... I’ve heard varying opinions on the way it turns around and she’s “quoting” the love interest of the story. Personally, I like it. I like thinking of it as if he said that and it’s what inspired her to use the line as such a key part of the song.

And I’ve gotta be honest here, the POP mix bonus track version doesn’t really hit me that hard. I can’t pick out enough of a difference between the two that I really care all that much about that version.

2. Sparks Fly

This is one of my favorite tracks on this album. I like the understated instrumentation behind the verses and the way it just drops into the chorus in a way that feels like going over the first rise on a roller coaster - the way there’s nothing behind her voice for “Drop everything now” feels like that moment where you know it’s coming and you kind of pull in a breath and then you’re irrevocably In The Moment. 

She does a lot of really cool vocal things - in the second verse I love the way she does that warble on “really wish you wo-ould”. Another favorite is the vocalization in the background of the last chorus. Instrumentally speaking, the solo before the bridge is one of my favorites because of how it’s just a little different from the main motif of the song, and I adore the strident guitar and drums behind the bridge itself.

This song also has the first of several mentions throughout her songs of green eyes! Same, Taylor, same.

3. Back to December

I’m just gonna jump ahead and talk about the acoustic version of this song that’s on the target deluxe version, because if given the choice, I’d pick that one to listen to any day. The strings are my favorite part of the original version, and so the fact that the acoustic version lets them shine just that much more is excellent in my opinion. I also like the way that the harmonies stand out a little bit more - usually I prefer the ones where it’s Taylor overdubbing her own harmonies, but in this one I really like how it sounds with that male voice in the background - it actually makes me think that this song has a lot of potential for being made into a duet song with that delicious aching kind of mutual regret feeling.

4. Speak Now

I don’t know about anyone else, but I really like this song. There’s a lot of really smart choices made, both vocally and in the instrumentals (like the way the drums don’t drop in until the second half of the first verse) and overall I think it’s a solid track.

Over the course of relistening to this early work of Taylor’s for these reviews, though, I’ve also had a thought - Speak Now is the culmination of an escalating pattern of Standing Up And Stealing Other Girls’ Guys that’s been going on through both of the other albums. You have Teardrops on my Guitar, where she just pines herself into oblivion over the boy - then you have You Belong With Me, where she actually does something about it, and now we have this, where she literally breaks up an engagement IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEDDING in order to get her chance at the boy she’s been daydreaming about.

5. Dear John

Easily my favorite track on this album. This is an optimal example of Taylor’s ability to take a song and build it up until it just explodes, even beyond the chorus. The way the song just soars in the bridge, complete with the way her voice just goes a little ragged on "burned them out”.... man. I love it. I love it so much. Another of my favorite moments is when the harmonies slide in with “run as fast as you can” as if that’s the ‘they’ who said that to her.

I think Taylor’s voice really shines in this track in a way that was really foreshadowing of her current vocal talents.

I’ll also never be over the fact that John Mayer claimed this song for being about him. He could have just been like ‘oh yeah I dunno, a dear john letter is a breakup letter right’ but no. He brought it down on himself. “You should’ve known.”

6. Mean

Mean is a jam, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. I’ll bop to this song anytime. I love the bending fiddle between the chorus and the second verse, probably my favorite musical choice in the song overall. The mandolin and the banjo are way up there as well, just in general. There’s something so delightfully vindictive about this track, such a clap back at the haters - and I get Taylor singing her own harmonies, which you already know I love to pieces. (Is it just me, or could Mean be the little sister of Calm Down?)

“Someday, I’ll be, singing this at the grammy’s…. and all you’re gonna be is mean”

7. The Story of Us

THE STORY OF US IS A BANGER, END OF DISCUSSION

…..

ok not really, because I have more feelings to express first.

Taylor’s vocals soar at the end of this track, and I honestly cannot get over the sheer improvement from Fearless to Speak Now when it comes to that. Those belted notes give me life. I love the ‘next chapter’ and ‘the end’ spoken lines, they’re the best for when I’m singing along and dancing around my kitchen. This song is nearer and dearer to my heart than I even realized coming into this review, and I will go to bat for it anytime anyplace any day.

8. Never Grow Up

It sure is a song, alright. It’s a pretty arrangement, and I like the harmonies, but I... don’t have much for strong feelings about this one.

9. Enchanted

Mmmmm, this one’s so pretty. The opening, I love whatever that is in the background, maybe it’s a keyboard? It’s beautiful and ethereal, at any rate, and I love it. The track builds so beautifully to an absolute monster of a chorus - the lead guitar up into that drum hit is a classic and I love it to pieces.

And don’t even get me started on the ending “please don’t be....” etc bit and the use of stereo - listening to this track in headphones is a treat and I love the high in one side and low in the other, accompanied by that soft vocalizing centralized that leads into the belting before we hit another chorus.

It wasn’t until I was listening to this song to write this post up that I noticed that if you really focus you can hear her singing that repetition behind the second half of the last chorus, but I think it’s only on the left. It’s a really nice touch.

10. Better Than Revenge

I’m just gonna go ahead and quote you a conversation my friend @defiantlywhole had about this track to explain my feelings:

Me:  listen. listen. i fully agree with "Better than revenge? we don't know her" but. it's such a banger. i hate it. i love it. why 

Her:  SAME! Dude esp with the whole sb-squared issue. If we could just. Recognize that better than revenge is problematic and love her anyway?? Can you imagine the kind of cool shit the fandom coulda churned out last month? I just want graphics that yell THERE IS NOTHING I DO BETTER THAN REVENGE at them for trying to force Taylor to stay and then punishing her for leaving

So if you wanna know my opinions, there you go. there they are. 

Also i’m never going to be able to unhear “she’s full of springs and she’s not what you think, she’s a mattress” from @stateofswiftpod​ (have you gotten the message to listen to their podcast yet? this is the last of her main albums they’ve talked about so. now’s the time.)

11. Innocent

This isn’t a track I seek out to listen to, like, ever... but it’s a pretty piece of music, and her voice is lovely. Honestly, there’s something about it that just makes me sad, which is probably why I don’t seek it out. Listening to it to write this, thought, I am noticing a lot of things about it that I’d forgotten or maybe not even noticed in the first place - like the haunting background vocalizations that I’d missed previously, and the choices in the instrumentals. There something about this song that just feels heavy, if that makes sense. It just sits right on my chest, and I’m not sure if I like it.

12. Haunted

Speaking of liking acoustic versions of songs better, this is definitely one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I love the original version, but...The piano just hits so much harder for some reason than anything about the original manages, and her vocal delivery is so aching and beautiful and just. Shivers, every time.

The backing vocals come across as very dark, almost, fittingly so to go with a song with the topic and title this one has. Her soaring vocalization in the bridge, and the way her voice breaks when she drops into the low note... man, I can’t even. I don’t have words for what this acoustic track does to me. The note after the last chorus is what gets me the most thought, the almost mourning wavering she sneaks into it and just... I love this song, okay.

13. Last Kiss

This track is so beautiful, but speaking of songs that make me sad. Good heavens. I hadn’t listened to this one in a while prior to this listen through the album and it hit me so hard. Legitimate tears.

I can’t even put it into words - this song is a masterpiece of emotion.

14. Long Live

This song also makes me cry, but for entirely different reasons. Somehow it has even more of an impact now, after seeing everything that’s happened for her and after having been privileged enough to see her live with one of my best friends. This song takes that weight still hanging on my chest from the last few tracks and pushes it aside, replaces it with a bursting pride for this woman who I’ve never met and probably never will. She’s done so well.

To be more specific - there’s some incredible guitar work on this song, and I adore the “THIS IS ABSURD” part - and “tell them how I hope they shine” will always make me cry. I love that she wrote this song, and I love that things have only kept going. That belted “fall” at the end of that post-chorus or whatever it is that then also fades and falls away. The ethereal Aaahs in the background of the bridge. The way she leans into the last “all the mountains we moved”. Gosh. It’s all too much.

Proper full bonus track time!

15. Ours

This is definitely my favorite of the bonus tracks. I’m a little sad it got relegated to a bonus track, since there’s definitely songs that I’d cut in favor of letting this one onto the list, but I’m just glad we have it in the first place.

I’m extremely fond of this song - it’s connected to playing music with my dad (who bought me my first guitar - well, him and my mom both) because we’ve teamed up to do this song, and so that gives me all kinds of happy feelings when I listen to this one.

I don’t have much for specific comments on this one, but it’s a Good.

16. If This Was a Movie

I love the guitar opening for this song, it’s on my list of songs to learn to play one of these days. The first few times I heard the song, I definitely didn’t hear “to me-e like” properly, but now that I know what it’s supposed to be, I don’t struggle too much, thankfully. Overall, I like the song - there are things about it that I’m not super fond of, but there are more things that I do like (the drop after the bridge is definitely one of them).

17. Superman

This one’s a bop. She’s a cute little number. Optimal dancing around my room (a la the you belong with me video) material. I won’t say this track is any work of genius or anything, but it’s a solid danceable pop song, and sometimes that’s all you need.

Whew! We’ve done it again. It’s 3am where I am at the time of writing this, so I’m going to go to bed now, but tomorrow we’ll start our transition into New Taylor. I don’t know about you, but I’m excited.

Next up: Red

[6505-blog1]

The Greatest Rock/Metal Albums of the 21st Century.

21st century marks the most diverse decade for rock and metal continuation. Absorbing, if not radiated by the long progenitors from Led Zeppelin who cranked up their amps and Black Sabbath that turn it out murky and sinister grim, to the dazzling theatrical persona of KISS and Motley Crue, to the new level heavy metal confronter of Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, to the head crusher of Motorhead and Metallica, to the destructo maniac of Slayer and Kreator, to the prog menu offerer of King Crimson and Tool, and finally aligned to have some peculiar layers and brooding tendency of Korn. We have come a long way. Yet our engine keeps raging.

I have cumulated the finest, the most influential, and the most prominent albums released in the new millenium by the descendents that took their predecessors to a whole different level, sustain the genre, and move myriads of people to mosh.

In a particular order:

10. Avenged Sevenfold - City of Evil (Warner Bros, 2005).

Rolling Stones magazine has named the sonically-punk with the flames of Iron Maiden, City of Evil on the last number of their 100 Greatest Album of All Time list. That should be a fair consideration since the extravagants like Beast and the Harlot, Bat Country, and Seize the Day altogether with the rest of the setlist ultimately transced the whole level and the destiny of the band as a leading force of eliticians in not so distant future. The 11 tracks have also successfully resurrected the triumph of classic guitar virtuosso portrait demonstrated on 80's as the talisman, Synyster Gates embarked over tons of appealing riffages and dueling solos which was buried after Nirvana and grunge breaktrough on the early 90's. Veteran and Ozzy Osbourne/Black Label Society guitarist, Zakk Wylde acknowledged him as a "Torchbearer" for arguably giving a birth and cultivating the guitar culture to the next generation.

9. Behemoth - The Satanist (Nuclear Blast, 2014).

The tenth album of Polish most profound extreme metal giant after Adam "Nergal"s battle with leukemia. Unlike the speed and precision exhibited over prior releases, the coagulated dense and horified cultish doom are found intensely throughout the setlist as to explicit the heretic messages. The result is astonishing and stronger than ever. More to add, The Satanist is pure, cathartic, flawlessly emotional, carefully-savage, and conquering by its complexity of repertoire within vivid and cinematical gradation as multi-dimensional tracks Messe Noire, In the Absence ov Light, Ora Pro Nobis Lucifer, and the leadoff Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel ravage in none but diabolical fervor. This album expansive flair has comprehensively unfolded the darkest caverns and creates the new standard of underground craftmanship.

8. Bring Me the Horizon - Sempiternal (RCA/Epitaph, 2013).

I wouldn't believe that i need to make Sempiternal in the cut. Who would have guessed? But i will beat every negation towards it. It is the album that eventually transforms Bring Me the Horizon from bunch of hipsters to one of the most important unit in the 21st century modern rock landscape. A year and a half after the release, Oliver Sykes and co. took over the world attention of rocking Wembley Arena, the same monumental venue where Queen — one of the biggest rock band in the history — was there doing the same story. It was approximately 12.000 attendees which made Sykes stated: "So this is our biggest show ever". The soaring Can You Feel My Heart, the furious The House of Wolves, the euphoric Shadow Moses, and the melodic of Sleepwalking are undeniably the new testament of rock music.

7. Lamb of God - Ashes of the Wake (Epic, 2004).

Count how many metal bands on the planet started after invented Laid to Rest or Now You've Got Something to Die For! It was countless. Lamb of God has became the crowned icon of "New Wave American Heavy Metal" and one of the most distinctive band in the scene. Their ferocious riffs, blistering drum works, lyrical contents, sound, even how to sing like Randy Blythe are largely imitated and seem to be the ideal menifesto of modern metal anatomy with obviously Ashes of the Wake as the highest pedestal. It contains tremendous chaos of 11 front-to-back blazing tracks immensely portrayed after Mark Morton - Willie Adler's virtuosity and of course, Chris Adler's voraciousity. Implying both abundance and how well they grasp the roots that will less likely be outnumbered.

6. Mastodon - Leviathan (Relapse, 2004).

We are now talking (and unravelling) the true genius minds of Atlanta-based extraordinary quartet. The newborn Metallica, Mastodon — the group that always exceed anyone's expectation — has seamlessly ranged their pinaccle from sludge to prog to avant-garde to even folk with staggering exponents of highly sophisticated masterpiece. With any fruition that comes in, the sheer Leviathan is believed as the opener tap. Written after Herman Merville's 1851 novel entitled "Moby Dick", the 46-minutes concept album is nothing but endless breathtaking experience of capturing bizarre Ode to the sea soundtrack. Blood and Thunder, I Am Ahab, and Aqua Dementia are torrent of forceful yet fascinating guttural power chords with Brann Dailor's tracherous drum tempo reflecting the theme while Iron Tusk sets sail upon muscular stoner riff and Naked Burn for menacing-tactical intro and flaunted visceral jarring chorus are hulking the imagery of the beast. Until the epic Hearts Alive with a glimpse of Metallica's The Call of Ktulu patiently reigns and all the greatness rendered.

5. Evanescence - Fallen (Wind-up, 2003).

The album that made Evanescence — a small town band from Arkansas — a megastar in the blink of an eye. It was the second semester of 2003 where the breakthrough hit single, Bring Me to Life played million times on the radio around the globe (and MTV as well) picturing the female face lead singer and her gleaming voice, Amy Lee who started the band with the co-founder guitarist, Ben Moody (though the relationship didn't survive and separation happened in the midst of suporting Fallen tour). The fame that nowhere expected begun when the terrific duo met on a camp and cliche of having the same musical taste brought them to finally sign the major label Wind-up and dominated the world stages in a brief. Fallen with the added values of enchanting piano, symphonical strings livery, and haunting soundscape that most nu-metal groups didn't have at that time effortlessly stood-out and arised in comparison to even Linkin Park. Other songs served like the down-tuned goth Going Under and the everlasting ballad My Immortal are only legitimating their popularity.

4. Ghost - Prequelle (Loma Vista, 2018).

In our nearly five decades of heavy music, such names as Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, Van Halen with their fantastic works and spirits have became a catalyst that will be remembered greatly in the faraway future for causing an enourmous impact to our community. Those that have bloomed and paved the way many artists to follow. And if there is a chance for this millenium bands to extend the list, Ghost will be the first to step up the grace.

This year, their most recent release Prequelle has been nominated for The Best Rock Album and its single Rats for Best Rock Song of 61st Grammy. An award that should be familiar since they have been winning it two times with Infestissumam (2013) — their second major label album — as The Best Hard Rock/Metal Album and Cirice — the single taken from previous album Meliora (2015) — as Best Metal Performance. A peak of a decade existence for one superior man behind the wheel, Tobias Forge. Appear himself as a satanic pope, Papa Emeritus I, II, III, Zero, and now with the newest fully renowned ascencion clergy Cardinal Copia has completely shaped the band's identity. But the latest Prequelle has more than to be attained to an award. Forge's admiration to film makes no surprise if any substance on the record is prone to get visualized and draw medieval realms so alive and real. He could blend joyous disco with scattered shock rock backbone for Dance Macabre, provide brilliant exotic pop-esque instrumental opus for Miasma, and close all the novelty and intellegiousness by a soothing grand finale of Life Eternal. That is the last strike.

3. Greenday - American Idiot (Reprise, 2004).

With the overwhelmed mainstream-breaking punk rock hit single American Idiot, it was an album (a concept album, for specific) everyone knew which handfully restored a big disappointment both sales and critical of their previous release. Taking the power back after four years gap with anti-Bush vitriol narration over long and merged tracks was everything we could expect from an ambition. Performing sarkastic American-post 9/11 political singable outcry and dragging down to emotionally-related suburban decline on Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams, followed by californian sunset accoustic staccato and straighforward revv Give Me Novacaine/She's A Rebel, a love story of Whatsername where a street punk main actor St. Jimmy fell and how it all ended on Homecoming.

The grandiose worths 16 millions selling CD is the anthem of this generation where a generation ago pridefully have The Clash with the classic London Calling.

2. Slipknot - Iowa (Roadrunner, 2001).

The most brutal and confrontational album of 21st century nothing to this day can bear. That is the deal. A remorseless turmoil just from the first second of welcoming to the house of pain intro, (515) to the last 15 minutes epilogue of magnificent unrelenting drama title track, Iowa. Please recognize the insolent hate mantra "Here we go again motherfuckers" as Corey Taylor opens up and rips off anything with hammer to the face misanthropic followed track, People = Shit that seems a vulgar warning to extend the torture of their 1999 debut phenomenal self titled album. But things got tenfold. They were all damaged animals, making it excuriatingly worst instead, and wanted any living to hear them. That they fuck what trend you live up on bludgeoning bestial Heretic Anthem, that they are adamant bastards you can't bleach their darkness out on atmospherical assault New Abortion, that killing is their primal instinct on grinding jaw-breaker scorn Disasterpieces, that they are fucking obsolete machines on the scorching psychosis Everything Ends. There lies Neurosis-ian dressed Gently and never eschew Grammy nominated singles, Left Behind and My Plague.

All the violent rampage should be addressed to Ross Robinson (producer) for being able to wrap up the devastating times the band encountered in the studio and that was how its ruthless resonated the world where many people are pissed-off to everything. An absolute impossible album to be re-recorded due to its hell of organic material. Yet apart of any malevolence, Iowa is sadly, a gift to liberate your heart and soul.

Honourable mentions:

System of a Down - Toxicity (American/Columbia, 2001).

Converge - Jane Doe (Equal Vision, 2001).

My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade (Reprise, 2006).

1. Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory (Warner Bros, 2000).

The world seriously gives us no chance to break. After Lemmy, Bowie, now we have lost the most beautiful voice that represents our generation.

May rest in peace and honour, Chester Bennington.

We miss you everyday, and we do care if someone whose time runs out is you.

The album that took nu-metal to a whole different level forever and highly contributed to shape the sound that outbursted the 21st century. For two decades, Linkin Park has became the most iconic group on the planet. Breeding the bands like Bring Me the Horizon, Asking Alexandria, and Bullet For My Valentine (with their recent 2018 album, Gravity).

Hybrid Theory (which was the actual name of the band before settling to Linkin Park) is the sublime fusion of heavy metal, alternative rock, hip-hop, pop, and electronica desired only to make a lifetime change. It is truly no derivative. Yet recalling back, it was multiple rejections of label after label before it took off with Don Gillmore (previously worked with Eve 6, Lit, Pearl Jam) to produce the album and pushed the band excessively. It was the part that would not have regretted where all they saw afterwards and going on was all miracle. 28 millions copy sold should be a very serious sensastion everyone must have a seat to talk about. A rock n roll revival after Guns N' Roses's Appetite For Destruction (1987) so to speak. With angst to fuel, Hybrid Theory yielded the catchy single opener One Step Closer, the drug abuse easer Crawling, the unhinged paranoia Papercut, and the most well-known last single sung by anyone In the End. Not to mention its cohesive supplementaries A Place For My Head, Runaway, and My December that blur the foursome due to their equivalent prowess. Admit it, Linkin Park and Hybrid Theory are the gateway to rock and heavy metal empire.

[hazzabeeforlou]

WIP snippet: H’s sweet 16

“I swear, this thing is a heart attack on a plate,” Gemma muttered, flinging the finishing touches of chopped chocolate onto the Bavarian Torte.

 By some miracle Gemma had agreed to come home for his birthday, and Harry would take her, sardonic comments and all. He smiled as he reached for the napkins.

“You do not have to partake, Gemma,” Anne huffed, raising one eyebrow

 “More for me,” Robin teased from over at the table, where he’d been attaching blue balloons to the backs of the dining room chairs.

  “If fact,” Anne said, turning to Harry, “Even without your sister’s help, the cake might disappear fast tonight. Louis has a large family.” Anne said it with a taunting twinkle in her eye.

 “I don’t mind.” Harry hid a sheepish smile behind the package of paper plates he’d  started unpacking.

As he and Louis were attached at the hip most days, no one had batted an eye when Harry asked if they could have the Tomlinson’s over to celebrate. Their parents got along splendidly and the girls absolutely worshiped Gemma, so it seemed only logical.

 The doorbell rang, and Harry raced to answer it, his socked feet skidding between the rugs.

 “THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!”

  As he swung the door open Louis blew a loud party kazoo right in his face, the shiny, curly end of it thwaking Harry’s nose.

 “Happy sweet sixteen, Harold!” Louis yelled, springing on him in a giant bear hug, his whole being luminous with excitement.

  “Thanks, Lou.” Harry smiled so big his dimples felt like trenches in his skin.

 “And look who I brought to celebrate! Thing one, thing two, thing three, AND thing four!” Louis ushered his sisters into the house, Lottie and Fizzy shooting him exasperated looks as they passed Harry.

 “Hello dear, happy birthday,” Jay said warmly, embracing Harry as her and Mark slipped their shoes off and put them by the door next to the girls’.

 As Louis made to follow Harry into the dining room, Jay caught his arm.

“Louis, your shoes,” she reminded, pointing to his sneakers.

 “Mom,” Louis moaned, returning grudgingly. Though it was the dead of winter he’d forgotten socks. Again.

 “S’okay Lou, I promise I won’t smell your feet,” Harry said helpfully, grinning at Jay as Louis mock fumed.

 “You’re both the worst, see if I come to any more birthdays, just see,” Louis mumbled, toeing off his shoes and walking gingerly towards the kitchen in his bare feet.

“This is from Mark and I, Harry. We hope you like it.”

Harry took the bag from them, nodding his thanks. “I’m sure I will, Mrs. Tomlinson.”

They gathered around the table for food and festivities. Gemma had prepared popcorn, chips and salsa, and a stellar platter of cheese and crackers to complement Anne’s taco dinner. Everyone soon became engrossed in board games, save the twins, who wandered in and out of the dining room, easily bored. They tried playing Pit first, but Fizzy found it difficult to reach the spoons, so they switched to Uno, and later to monopoly. 

Time flew by. Harry laughed until his stomach hurt when Jay snatched Park Place, thwarting Louis’ elaborate and well-voiced plans of real-estate domination. Louis proceeded to dramatically pout like the world had ended. Harry giggled secretly behind his hand when Louis’ pawn landed in jail for the hundredth time and instead of hollering complaints he stuck one of the discarded Pit spoons on his nose, balancing it there until the twins started squealing with glee and trying to jostle if off.

Sometime after dark Jay and Anne disappeared into the kitchen. Gemma stood and flipped off the lights, and soon only the incoming glow of candles illuminated the streamers twisting down from the dining room chandelier.

“Happy birthday to you…”

 Robin started off the singing as Anne rounded the corner carrying Harry’s cake, bedecked with sixteen striped candles. Harry had difficulty picking out individual voices due to the twins’ yowling, but Louis’ voice cut through. It floated to his ears silkily, like melted caramel, yet sharply distinct. It had a tone like the clear peal of a bell amidst a storm. He latched onto it and locked eyes with Louis, who smiled back as his cheekbones caught the candlelight.

 Harry should have been looking at the cake before him, not at his best friend. But he didn’t much care.

 “Make a wish, Harry!” Daisy called out as the chorus ended.

 “Okay.” Harry cracked his knuckles and closed his eyes, feeling the heat of the flickering wicks against his face. A wish came to him, half formed and inarticulate: he wanted this always. He wanted these people, these families, and Louis around him always. He wished that Louis would always be his best friend.

 The ache swelled against his ribcage.

 Quickly, he opened his eyes and blew out the candles, banishing the discomfort from his mind. Everyone clapped and cheered, but Harry looked only at Louis, meeting his eyes as Gemma flipped the lights back on, seeing in them blue, pupil-huge mirrors of his own.  

 Anne sliced the torte and gave Harry and Louis the biggest pieces, much to Robin’s protest. Everyone enthusiastically complemented Anne’s signature back, the twins liking it so much they fought over who had the biggest chunk of cream-cheese-and-chocolate-flake icing.

 Harry ate his cake slowly, savoring it. Louis had no experience with the word ‘savor.’ He devoured his quickly, enjoying it far too much, seeming to slip into a personal ecstasy. Harry watched as he forked bites to his pink lips and closed them over the creamy icing, the flakes of chocolate melting into the edges of his mouth, lining it like makeup. His jaw worked slowly, smoothly, making angles Harry imagined were sharp to the touch. When he’d finished, Louis ran his fingers over the remnants of icing on his plate, popping them in his mouth and pulling them back out clean and damp and slightly red.

 “Hairball, earth to hairball,” Gemma waved a hand in front of his face.

“W-what?” Harry stuttered, blinking at Gemma dazedly.

 “I said, want me to get the presents now?” 

“Oh. Oh sure,” Harry smiled at her, hoping Gemma couldn’t see how his cheeks had warmed.

His presents were small, nothing extravagant. Harry opened his parents’ first, a small package wrapped with shooting star paper. They’d gotten him a soft-knit shirt adorned with a penguin. Harry loved it.

Next he opened Gemma’s, an encyclopedia of C.S. Lewis quotes she’d found at the second-hand store on campus. The girls had also gotten Harry a gift. He unwrapped a shiny new board game to their excited shrieks.

 Harry opened Mr. and Mrs. Tomlinson’s next, a gift card to Barnes and Noble. He thanked them enthusiastically, realizing, with a clenching gut, that only Louis’ gift remained.

He opened the card first, smiling at the goofy picture of two dogs gobbling birthday cake. He read Louis’ small handwriting to himself.

Happy sweet sixteen to my very best friend!!!! Hope you had a wonderful day, Harold. You deserve it. My gift’s pretty lame, but I hope you like it. Open the bag but don’t open the thing on the bottom until we’re alone. The girls would tease me forever. –Lou

Harry bit his lip. He set the card down quickly and fished into the bag, pulling out a Packer’s jersey.

“No way,” he said, his mouth hanging open in shock. Harry had always wanted a Favre jersey, a no. 4, but they were too expensive back when Favre was quarterback.

 “Where on earth did you find this?” Harry asked, clutching the shirt to his chest.

“Oh, I got lucky at a thrift store,” Louis smiled brightly.

 “I should say so, let me see that,” Robin motioned for the jersey and Harry obliged. It got passed around the table to much fuss, Jay even asking when on earth Louis had the time to poke around in thrift stores.

Harry met Louis’ eyes as the shirt came back to him and nodded just slightly at the bag. Louis blinked twice.

 “Mommy can we play the new game?” Daisy asked, fidgeting around in her seat.

 “Maybe you kids can just play, honey, I think the adults are going to sit in comfy chairs in the living room,” Anne replied for Jay, getting up and clearing the dessert plates.

 Gemma broke away with the parents, though instead of joining in whatever adult conversation they started, she curled up in the armchair on her phone. Lottie and Fizzy were un-boxing the new game with Harry’s blessing, trying to explain the rules to the twins. Harry listened half-heartedly, curiosity gnawing away at his stomach. Louis caught his drift.

“Harry, think I could borrow some socks?”

Harry frowned at him. “Sure, Lou. Go ahead.”

 “Where are they, exactly?”

 “In my room,” Harry blinked at him. “Oh.” He stood up so abruptly his chair nearly toppled over. “I’ll get them for you, come on.”

 Louis smirked triumphantly, stealthily tucking the bag behind his back as they hurried from the dining room and up the stairs.

They tumbled into his bedroom and plopped down on the rug.

“Go ahead,” Louis said, eagerly presenting his gift yet again.

Harry felt around inside until he grasped a hunk of thick paper. He pulled it out and stared at the little booklet of construction paper, the spine held together with staples, the cover a pasted picture of Luke Skywalker and Han Solo. In thick, markered letters across the top it read, “Best Friends Book.”

Harry dimpled terribly and side-eyed Louis in wonder. “Did you make me a book?”

Louis fiddled with his hands, nervously chewing his lip. “Maybe. Open it.”

Harry did. Inside were pages and pages of inside jokes and quotes, clipped magazine pictures movies they’d watched, and attempted illustrations of all the various activities they’d done together. It looked adorable overall, and spectacular in detail, every page inked over with Louis’ writing, which he’d been neater about than normal. Harry flipped through it, his grin growing with each new page.

 When he got three quarters of the way, he found blank pages. Louis coughed delicately into his hand.

“Er, that’s for, you know. More.”

Harry swallowed down whatever had lodged in his throat. He folded the book closed and pressed it to his chest.

“I love it, Lou. It’s the best present ever.”

“It’s so girly, isn’t it,” Louis muttered, a smile playing about his lips though he continued to stare at the carpet and fiddle his hands.

“I think it’s awesome,” Harry stated, scooting closer to Louis and throwing his arms around him, drawing him into a hug.

Harry tipped them slightly off balance with his gangly limbs, though, and instead they toppled over, their arms twined together messily.

“Oops,” Harry said apologetically.

“Hi.” Louis had landed on top, pinning Harry to the floor. “I’ve heard you’re ticklish. Some people outgrow such things, though, so we need to test you again, this being your birthday and all.”

Harry had only a moment to squawk out a protest and try to cover his belly before Louis attacked him, his lithe fingers hitting just the right places, making Harry squirm and yelp and twist and laugh under Louis until his sides hurt and his eyes were streaming.

 “Uncle unlce uncle!!” Harry screamed, trying desperately to get his legs up to Louis’ torso so he could push him away, but Louis knew that trick too well.

“What’s that you said? Buckle? Chuckle?”

Louis was merciless. Harry thought he might wet himself.

“Uncle!” Harry cried, his fingers trying to reciprocate the tickling, but to no effect.

“I think I’ve gone suddenly deaf, must be all the yelling in here,” Louis giggled, bearing down hard right above Harry’s tender hips.

“Louuuuuuu I’m gonna pee my pants stooooooop,” Harry moaned, his muscles jerking in twenty different directions.

The tickling ceased. Louis didn’t move, though, just hovered above him, his face flushed and close enough Harry could smell his cake-sweet breath.

“Alright, birthday boy, I’ll relent just this once. But only because it’s your birthday.”

Harry tried to recover some ounce of his stability, panting. “That’s noble, Lou. Gold star for you.”

“Eh, I try. I have a reputation to maintain and all.”

“I know.” Harry smiled up at him, his eyes maybe falling for too long on Louis’ thick eyelashes as they batted like sleepy caterpillars each time he blinked.

“Harry,” Louis started.

“Ya?”

 Louis looked down at him a moment, a strange light coming to his eyes.

Nevermind.” Louis pushed up from him and stood. “We’d better get back down, make sure the girls haven’t caused any disasters.”

Harry wanted to press, wanted to ask further, but Louis had already launched into the hallway, his smelly, bare feet trumping down the stairs.

Before he followed, Harry tucked the book under his pillow securely, replacing Azzy on top with the admonition, “Make sure you guard it, okay?”

The stuffed animal made no answer, but Harry smiled anyways. He grabbed a pair of sock on his way out.

[tobns]

SNOWED IN: A (Tragic) Christmas Story — part five.

In Which A Series of Things Happens That Sounds as Though Willow Copied and Pasted It Right From a Fanfiction Circa 2012 

I wake up to the sound of Jack’s heavy breathing.

He’s staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to stir to consciousness with a rather creepy smile on his face. Alexander’s hand resting on my leg feels like an anvil as I come to, trying not to jump in shock at the sight of Jack standing over me like the neighborhood terror.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, trying not to wake up Alexander. “Go away!”

“I’m not here to spy,” he quickly diffuses, the edges of his lips curling even farther into a smirk. “Although you two are really cute.”

“Get on with it,” I hiss, waving my hand around to shoo him off.

He glances behind me, to see if Alexander’s still asleep, before his eyes come back to me. “Jen says she’s gonna wake up everyone else in the next half hour or so for breakfast,” he informs me. “And I figure this is my one and only chance to get you alone before Jackie jumps down your throat.” For emphasis, his eyes dart back to the sleeping mass behind me.

I roll my eyes, shaking my head slightly. “What do you need?”

“I just…wanted to ask you if you think this will be okay,” he says, straightening out his knees as he pulls something out of his back pocket. The majority of my irritation with him having woken me up for the second time today dissipates almost instantly when I see what it is, some of the wind getting knocked out of me. He smiles hopefully, waiting for me to answer, even though I’m pretty sure that I’ve forgotten how to speak. “I’m taking that as a yes?”

Instead of trying to find words – the only thing that’s coming to my mind right now is an endless shriek, but that’ll only wake Alexander up and I’d hate to begin Christmas morning with us in the ER, tending to a baseball-bat-sized dent in Jack’s head – I nod feverishly.

Jack puts his hand on my head, ruffling the top of my head. “Thanks Belly,” he mouths. “I’ll see you in a few.” He gets ready to walk away, and I quickly grab him by the wrist before he can leave.

He stares at me, a little puzzled, but I motion for him to come closer. Once he’s within range, I sit the upper half of my body upright and wrap my arms around his neck. Jack laughs a little into my shoulder, hugging me back.

“I’ll see you in a few,” he repeats as he pulls away. “Merry Christmas.”

My lips pull up into a smile. “Merry Christmas.”

This time, I let him leave the room, my head falling down against the pillow as I watch him close the door back behind him. The smile lingers on my face even once he’s gone.

A few beats of silence pass, and I feel the weight under the mattress start to bend underneath me as Alexander turns back over. His hand on my leg slides back up to rest in the dip of my waist, arm draped over me as he rests his chin in the crook of my neck. “Did you tell Jack that we’re closed for photo ops until at least noon?” he mutters, his breath warm along my skin.

“Believe it or not, I don’t think we’ll be the photo op of the morning. Maybe later on tonight,” I add.

“I somehow do not believe you,” Alexander replies, lips brushing over my neck. “Then again, part of me doesn’t really believe that you’re laying here either, so I guess anything’s possible.”

I snort. “Oh what, do you keep mistaking me for another knockoff?”

“Will you ever let that go?”

Glancing over my shoulder at him, I wink. “Maybe in a couple of years. Or who knows? Maybe by then, you’ll have found a better knockoff me.”

His arm pulls me back closer against him, wrapping me up tightly as he hums contentedly. “I’m going to ignore your terrible sense of humor and focus only on the fact that you’ve apparently got it planned out that you’ll still be around me in a few years.”

“Assuming that the world doesn’t end before then,” I remind him.

“If we haven’t triggered it by now, I think we’ve got a way to go, Fuhrman.” His arms bind around my stomach as he kisses the side of my cheek. “But if it doesn’t, I’ll save you some room in my underground bunker.”

“Such a romantic, you are.”

“Practically my middle name.”

As Jack promises, Jen comes barreling through the door about twenty minutes later with a smile brighter than the LED lights on her Christmas tree draped on her lips. “Well well,” she sings delightedly, hands on her hips. “Looks like we got ourselves a Christmas miracle after all.”

I roll over, burying my face in the small place between my pillow and Alexander’s shoulder to avoid her gaze. “All I want for Christmas is for you people to stop caring so much about my love life,” I whine, only slightly teasing.

Jen’s following peal of laughter rings throughout the room. “Keep on dreaming, sweetheart.”

Alexander and I climb out of bed slowly, following after Jen downstairs where everyone else has congregated in the living room around the tree. She’s been strategic in waking and gathering up everyone else in the house before coming to fetch us, so they can all get a good glimpse of us together. Willow and Amandla smirk, the two of them high-fiving, and Josh purposefully leaves his stove duty to shoot me a wink.

We sit down in the floor in front of the couch, where Leven and Dayo are sprawled out, their legs underneath a shared blanket. Alexander takes the spot beside me, and I move over so I’m sitting in between his legs. “What?” I mutter quietly when he gives me a weird look. “Why waste any more of our time saving face for these lunatics?”

Leven is happy to lean down, backing me up. “She’s right,” she agrees cheerfully. “We’re part of your love story, after all, holding back in front of us would just be rude.”

Alexander rolls his eyes, but doesn’t say anything else. I know he wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

Josh makes us all cinnamon rolls that are the size of our heads for breakfast while Jen goes around out and hands out the presents she’s gotten us. All of the gifts we brought for our exchange are still sitting under the tree, waiting for us to get to them, but Jen insists that we all go ahead and unwrap what she’s gotten us. Evidently, she’s rather proud of her present-picking abilities and wants to revel in our reactions.

The boxes aren’t all that big and are poorly wrapped in their snowman wrapping paper, more tape than humanly necessary riddling every inch of the surface. Amandla breaks into hers first only because she always carries a pocket knife on her person, all of us pausing in our unwrapping endeavors to see what it is Jen’s gotten us all. She carefully pulls out a little snow globe, her hand cradling underneath the gold base. Little fake snowflakes come raining down on a giant cast picture that was taken all the way back in 2011 at some banquet dinner Gary had thrown for us, a picture that I’d almost forgotten existed. We all look like babies, holding onto each other in a lump of a group hug with our laughs frozen and eyes smiling, but it is undoubtedly us at our purest.

Amandla runs a thumb over the inscription that’s on the base. “’Reach for the top of the stars and if you don’t grab ‘em, at least you’ll fall on top of the world,’” she reads out loud.

“Wow, Jen,” Josh comments, looking over at a proudly smiling Jen that’s wearing a Santa hat. “That’s like, actually deep and somewhat beautiful.”

“It’s a lyric from Pitbull’s Give Me Everything.”

“Then I take all of that back.”

We all chorus our varying ‘awws’ and ‘thank yous’ towards Jen, who smiles in response. “You’re welcome, you’re welcome, children,” she says, sitting down on the leg of the recliner Josh has taken up. “Now let’s get on to this white elephant gift exchange so I can actually receive for the first time this whole damn trip.”

“Actually,” Jack interrupts, and already I can feel my heart taking off like a helicopter in my chest. The smile is impossible to suppress. “There’s a little gift of my own that I wanna give out before we get started, and unfortunately for you all, there is no trading for this one.” I have to bite back a laugh.

He turns to face Jackie, who’s currently on her third cinnamon roll and draped under a blanket. She looks at him, completely confused. “Jackie,” he says, and my hand immediately juts out to grab onto Alexander’s solely for squeezing purposes. He winces.

“Yes, Quaid?” she asks, mouth full of cinnamon roll.

Jack grabs the plate and plastic fork out of her hands, setting it aside on the coffee table. She frowns, reaching back out for it before Jack grabs her hand. “Stand up.”

“Why?”

“Just…trust me,” he says, and I squeeze Alexander’s hand harder.

Jackie isn’t too convinced by this. “Don’t push your luck, bud.” Jack rolls his eyes, sighing as he forcefully pulls Jackie up to her feet. I swear, she claims I’m so oblivious, but right now, there has to be the world’s biggest brick wall between her eyes and Jack. Blind. She is blind.

She’s still incredibly puzzled by what’s going on, but I think Leven’s ridiculously hopeless romantic self has already put two and two together judging by the sharp intake of breath she gives off behind me.

“Jackie,” Jack repeats, still holding tightly to her hand as he looks down at her. “We’ve been sneaking around behind these guys’ backs for the last four years now—”

“No, you haven’t!” Alexander calls out, and I start swatting at him, trying to silence him.

“—and I know the only reason we did it was because we wanted this to be a secret, but the more time that’s gone by, the more I realize I don’t want for you to be a secret. You’re the best part of my day, even when we’re berating and bickering with one another, and nothing about the way I feel for you should ever be kept secret.” The tears are already starting to well up in my eyes, and out of the corner of one of them, I can see Amandla and Willow both recording all of this. Everyone seems to be cluing in before Jackie herself.

Jack offers her one more smile before he drops down to one knee, and then all the knuckleheads, Jackie included, erupt into excitement as they realize what’s happening. Jen leaps up from the recliner, almost kicking Josh right in the balls as she begins screaming, Dayo and Alexander are both clapping and wolf-whistling, and Josh is laughing like a maniac. Jackie, on the other hand, is staring at Jack with wide eyes, completely frozen.

“Jack—” she utters out, the only word I think she knows anymore judging by the look on her face.  

The way that Jack looks up at her is the way a little kid watches a shooting star streak across the sky. “Please don’t be my secret anymore,” he asks in a wavering voice, pulling the box back out of his pocket with trembling hands. He just barely gets the lid popped open, revealing the ring inside. It’s an emerald, rounded out in a thin halo and yellow gold diamonds all the way around the band. Jackie’s jaw drops. “Be my wife.”

We’re all watching, waiting in burning anticipation for Jackie to remember how to talk and to give him an answer. It’s a miracle I haven’t crushed every bone in Alexander’s hand yet. She still can’t seem to find her voice in the now cleared-out abyss her mind has become, so instead, she just nods, nodding so hard I swear her neck might break.

Josh does the honors of yelling, “She said yes!” as the rest of us jump up and start rejoicing.

Jack’s hands are still shaking as he pulls the ring out of the velvet lining, carefully sliding it onto her ring finger. Jackie stares down at it for a moment, unsure that it’s actually real before she starts laughing. He picks her up, swinging her around in a few circles before they kiss, and I have to swipe away a few of my own tears just watching them. Leave it to Leven and I to cry on Jackie’s behalf, since I think her entire body might be in shock and on the verge of shutting down.

“This calls for champagne!” Jen announces loudly, leaping over empty paper plates and blankets as she beelines for the kitchen.

I scramble away from Alexander to fling my arms around both Jack and Jackie in one fell swoop, wordlessly shrieking in glee as I jump up and down excitedly.

“Is this real?” Jackie finally finds her voice somewhere as I pull away, one of her arms still around my waist. I can feel her entire body shaking.

I nod excitedly. “So real, babe.” I feel as though my lips might split from the smile that’s tugging my face in half, tears slipping down my face as I squeeze both of her arms. “Congratulations!”

Jackie and I had quite literally planned our weddings together when we were bored on set, swapping Pinterest boards for our future receptions back years and years ago, and I think I’m having just as much trouble believing this as she is. I, on the other hand, just happen to be much more emotional about it.

Jen returns with glasses and a bottle of champagne tucked underneath her arm, and she goes about passing them all out. She pours sloppily, mostly because she herself is buzzing with the same excitement. “Alright,” she says after she finally finishes going around, holding up the bottle in one hand and her glass in another high over her head. “To Jacquelack, and to all of us getting hella hammered at the Hunger Games wedding of the century!”

“Hear hear!” Alexander cries.

We all lift our glasses, clinking with whoever we can find. The champagne slides down my throat smoothly, and I barely get it swallowed before Alexander grabs my face, kissing me full on the lips.

“What was that for?” I ask after his lips leave mine, the tears still sparkling in my eyes.

He shrugs. “Just…sharing the love.”

I roll my eyes, throwing my empty champagne glass aside and stepping up onto his feet so I can kiss him properly. It elicits a reaction out of everyone, to no surprise, but my favorite by far is Jack’s.

“Quit stealing our moment!”

                                                           ... 

Josh wows all of us with his former Boy Scout skills by building a fire out in the firepit in the backyard after dinner, Jen finding the supplies necessary for us to all roast marshmallows while we sit around under super thick blankets and bundled up against each other for body heat. She’s unfolded quite a few wire clothes hangers to serve as our skewers for roasting marshmallows, graham crackers and Hershey’s chocolate bars going abandoned as we pass around the jumbo bag of marshmallows as though this is sleepaway camp in the seventh grade.

We’re all a little fuzzy from the copious amounts of champagne Jen insisted upon us consuming while at dinner to celebrate literally everything imaginable – Jackie and Jack’s engagement, mine and Alexander’s finally getting together, it being Christmas, the sun setting on another day, so on and so forth. It’s been a good day though, one of the best days I’ve had in a long time.  

Jackie, who’s sitting next to me, keeps turning her hand in the low light of the fire to admire the glint of her engagement ring. We’d Facetimed her family right before lunch to surprise them with the good news, Taylor and Hayley screaming so loudly that for a moment, I swore we’d actually broken the sound system on Jackie’s phone. Leven and I also got to fulfill a few lifelong dreams and tag-teamed on taking a shit ton of engagement pictures for Jack and Jackie out in the snow, despite Jackie still being in those godawful cat pajamas of hers. As sweet as the ring was, Jack could have taken it a step further and bought her some replacement pajamas.

It’s been a lowkey day otherwise, stuffing ourselves with food Josh has whipped up, watching stupid Christmas movies and taking a shit ton of naps in between. I don’t think I’ve left Alexander’s side any today, his hand always lingering on my back as if he’s scared that if he lets go of me, I’ll disappear.

He’s got an arm draped over my shoulders, the two of us underneath the same blanket as our little hangers continually clink together when we go to roast another marshmallow.

“You know,” Jen muses absentmindedly as she skips the marshmallow entirely and takes a giant bite out of a plain graham cracker. “I know it kinda bothered you guys there in the beginning, but I’d say this turned out to be a pretty successful get-together.”

“Yeah, why did you decide to invite us anyways?” Willow asks. “What about this was so important to you?”

Jen’s got an intent gaze on the fire, the flames crackling and licking at the empty night sky above it. “I don’t know,” she finally answers, her voice soft. “Something about you guys has always felt like home to me. Things have been so crazy lately that even with everything I’ve been lucky enough to have, there was still this…giant absence in my life. I guess I’m not really much without y’all.” Her shoulders fall in an awkward little shrug. “I just wanted to get a little bit of that complete feeling back, even if we are different people now and you guys were gonna be bitching the whole damn time. Better than nothing, and besides, I don’t think us being older has anything to do with whether or not we can still find our spark. We said friends for life, and I meant it, dammit.”

“Aw, Jenny,” Amandla says,

“I’m with her on that,” Alexander agrees, and I turn to look up at him. The fire is casting all sorts of shadows on his face – he’s even more mesmerizing to look at in this light. “After all these years, being with you guys feels like no time has passed at all. I don’t want to lose this again.”

“Okay, if I remember correctly, you were the one who pretty much dissed all of us and shut us out to move onto greener pastures,” Dayo reminds him.

“Can we not ruin my sentimental moment?” Jen snaps, quickly pushing the smile back onto her face. “Blondie makes a good point. You maniacs are the people I want in my life forever, and I don’t know about you, but I never want to have to pull another one of these again.”

Jackie is happy to chime in. “Now that I can agree with,” she says, jamming another marshmallow down onto the end of her unfolded hanger. “I don’t think I can tolerate another one of these surprise get togethers. I’d just prefer for us all to like each other and make plans together about when we meet up.”

Josh nods. “Yes, preferably somewhere that isn’t prone to getting two feet of snow when we do.”

Willow’s eyebrows raise. “What about Asheville?”

“Frosty might be cold in the winter, but he also melts in the summer,” I point out. “I say we find the happy medium.”

“So what, Kansas?” Jen snorts.

“We can work out details later,” Leven says, dismissing the conversation with the slight motion of her hand before reaching for the bag of marshmallows. “Right now, I’m pretty content just being with you guys in this moment.”

My head falls on Alexander’s shoulder as I watch the flames dance in front of me. Leven certainly makes a point – this is the first time on this trip where I’ve been wholeheartedly at ease.

“Can you guys believe that it’s been six years?” I mutter almost absentmindedly. “Six years of us.”

“Six years of something special,” Dayo agrees. “I still remember what the crew used to say about us. Don’t look for this again, you won’t find it anywhere else.”

Amandla raises her hand. “I definitely haven’t been able to find this anywhere else; there’s no group of people on the planet as balls-to-the-wall, slightly idiotic and yet lovable as you people.”

“I doubt we ever will,” Jackie ponders, pulling her marshmallow off the hanger and offering it up to Jack. “There are just some people that no matter what happens in this world or how far apart we differentiate from one another, there’s always going to be that existing bond that nothing will break. Time be damned.”

“Yeah, if Alexander’s tweet-pocalypses haven’t ruined us yet, I don’t think anything could.” Alexander makes a face at Jack, but I can see the cracks in the façade.

“My Fun-ger Games playlist didn’t lie – we really are family.”

The contented sigh rises from my throat without me realizing I’ve done so. “I sure do love you guys,” I say definitively. “No matter how much you annoy me.”

Dayo smiles, poking the marshmallow on the end of my hanger that’s on the verge of falling off, it’s so burnt. “Same,” he echoes.

Leven reaches over, tucking Willow under her arm in a side hug and grinning at all of us. “Same.”

“Same.”

“Ditto.”

Josh’s eyes scan around the circle at all of us, like he’s trying to peg us or find the meaning of life lingering behind the whites of our eyes if he looks closely enough. Finally, he shakes his head. “Alright,” he declares. “No more sappiness. If we keep going the way we are, I’m sure tears will be next, and it’s too cold out here to cry.”

“It’s probably all of this champagne in our systems,” Jack points out.

Jen and Josh then exchange glances. “Guess that means it’s time to bust out the tequila!”

And with that, Jen darts back off inside to fetch a new bottle and little Game of Thrones shot glasses she wound up with in white elephant. I smile lazily, my free hand squeezing Alexander’s thigh reassuringly. The world really could come falling apart tomorrow and I don’t think I’d have a single care towards it. This moment, right here surrounded by a fire and two feet deep in snow, is all my heart needs to stay warm.

This here is enough.

[bthenoise]

Here’s The Best of 2019 As Picked By Members Of The Used, Periphery, Counterparts, Killswitch Engage, Grayscale & More

Well everyone, we did it. Somehow someway we all survived yet another 365 gloriously trying days on this place we call earth. In about two more weeks, we will officially begin a brand new decade with hopes of starting something beautiful and life-changing for the human race. Until then, we’d like to take a second to look back on some of the finer things that came out of 2019 – you know, like the best album, best song, best movie, etc.

Like we’ve done in years past, we’ve completely turned our year-end best-of list over to the artists we cover on a daily basis because let’s face it, their opinions are the ones we all really care about, right?

Right.

To check out what bands like The Used, Counterparts, Periphery, Killswitch Engage, Fit For A King, Grayscale, Atreyu, Wage War, Boston Manor and more have all been obsessing over for the past year or so, be sure to see below. We hope you enjoy this final list as much as we do and wish you all the most peaceful and positive holiday season ever.

Enjoy!

Jeph Howard and Dan Whitesides - The Used

JEPH HOWARD

Best Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return And Knocked Loose - A Different Shade Of Blue

Best Song of 2019: “Blow Me” - from The Used and yes I’m biased.

Best Music Video of 2019: Wendall - “The Power of Wings”

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return. Her vibe reminds me of my favorite era of hip hop.

Best Movie of 2019: Dr. Sleep, great book too. Must have been tough rewriting the story just enough to mix both the book The Shining and the film adaptation Kubrick made and then making a movie based on both origins.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The OA season 3. So unfair that never happened.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Epstein was an inside job and also the cat playing the cell phone ring tone 😂

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: HodgePodge Superfest 2019 Indonesia, mostly because I got to hang with a couple family friends I haven’t seen in years.  

2020 New Year's Resolution: For 2020 I want to worry less about things I have no control over.

DAN WHITESIDES

Best Album: The Knocked Loose album A Different Shade Of Blue is great and so fuckin heavy! On the other side of things, the Billie Eilish album is really good front to back. Saw her live in Salt Lake and it was pretty sick.

Best Song: Honestly, it’s “Blow Me” by my band The Used. I’m not just saying that because it’s my band. It’s a great fucking song and it has all of my favorite elements in it.

Best Music Video: Blink 182’s “Darkside.” Love the stick tricks and the dancing kids.

Most Underrated Album: All the albums I liked in 2019, I rated them pretty high.

Best Movie: Dumb and Dumber has been the best movie every year since it came out. All the kids movies that came out in 2019 were good. I see them all. I didn’t really like The Addams Family though.  

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Atypical and Fuller House and I’m not fucking with you. I laugh out loud at Fernando every time!

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): When the deaf baby hears for the first time. I almost cried but I couldn’t because I’m a man and men don’t cry. Just playin! I did tear up a weeee bit.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Saw Rob Zombie and damn he puts on a great show. Back To The Beach was my favorite show I played in 2019. We did a cover of Linkin Park’s “Shadow Of The Day” at that show and it started raining. People were crying. It was nuts!

2020 New Year's Resolution:  I don’t really do resolutions but I wish people could just get along despite their beliefs. Life is too short.

Misha Mansoor - Periphery

Best Album of 2019: Mordial by Carbomb Best Song of 2019: “F it Up” by Louis Cole Best Music Video of 2019: “Genesis” by Devin Townsend Most Underrated Album of 2019: Forever, A Fast Life by Infinity Shred Best Movie of 2019: Jojo Rabbit Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Gamer Girl Bath Water Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019:  Attended - Deadmau5 Cube V3.  Played - Sold Out London headliner at O2 Kentish Town 2020 New Year's Resolution: Drive more cars

Brendan Murphy - Counterparts

Best Album of 2019: Better Off - Reap What You Sow. Luke is probably the best songwriter I know personally. The album is an absolute fucking hit. I literally begged him to send me the masters before the album came out and I’ve listened to it non-stop since. Was hard to keep that album a secret. 

Best Song of 2019: Gotta go with what my Spotify wrapped tells me and aside from the 1975’s discography, my most listened to song of 2019 was “Slingshot” by Better Off. The song is amazing, the lyrics rock, chorus is fucking huge. Like I said, Luke can’t write a bad song. 

Best Music Video of 2019: I’ll be honest, it’s rare for me to watch any music video that doesn’t have the 1975 in it so I’m gonna go ahead and pick their video for “Frail State of Mind” because... I mean look at him, he’s so cool. If we could get away with making videos like that I might actually not dread shooting them haha. 

Most Underrated Album of 2019: BETTER OFF, YET AGAIN. ARE YOU SURPRISED? I don’t understand how they aren’t the biggest band on earth. 

Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar. I’m a total A24/Ari Aster fanboy and I love movies about freaky cults and this movie ticks all the boxes. It’s not as much of a “deep dive” as Hereditary, very surface level, but I mean it’s creepy and it’s shot beautifully and there’s flowers everywhere and in case you forgot I sing for Counterparts so it’s right up my fuckin alley haha. 

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry without question. Blake made me watch an episode when we were recording NLTL and I binged watched the show so hard I’d be up all night watching when I was supposed to be writing lyrics. Last time I was physically unable to stop watching a show was Lost, so that should say something. 

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): My own twitter hun xox 😘

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I mean it’s hard to remember our shows because not only are they all fun, I’ve usually had a few chardonnays by the time we go on stage BUT one that stands out is the last day of Private Room 2.0 in Worcester... simply because for all of “Love Me” I didn’t have to say a fucking word, the crowd did the whole damn thing. I think there’s a video where I get so stoked I start screaming “YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT” and jumping. It’s fun and honestly, it’s 10 fucking words don’t make me do it by myself. 

2020 New Year's Resolution: Stop accidentally calling my teacher “mom.”

Mike D'Antonio - Killswitch Engage

Best Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Song of 2019: He Is Legend - “Resister Resist Her” Best Music Video of 2019: Death Ray Vision “Just Let It Die” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Yoda/Toyota meme Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Field Day played in Connecticut a few months back. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Refuse the new world order

Porter McKnight - Atreyu

Best Album of 2019: Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff Best Song of 2019: “The Dead Don’t Die” - Sturgill Simpson Best Music Video of 2019: Rammstein - “Deutschland” Most Underrated Album of 2019: The Act - The Devil Wears Prada Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Watchmen Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Paul Rudd “Look at us” on Hot Ones Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019:  Attended - Nothing More - New Orleans March 2019 Played - Mr’s Smalls Theatre - Millvale, PA  2020 New Year's Resolution: Establish a consistent physical art practice

Ryan Kirby - Fit For A King

Best Album of 2019: Just for the purpose of nostalgia, I am going to go with Shaped by Fire by As I Lay Dying. It doesn't re-invent the wheel but it's just some good ole metalcore that brings me back. 

Best Song of 2019: I absolutely cannot stop listening to "Masochist" by Polaris. This band is going to be huge!

Best Music Video of 2019: I feel like I have to say our own video for "When Everything Means Nothing" is the best strictly because we all almost died of hypothermia while getting sprayed by a fire hose.  

Most Underrated Album of 2019: I think The Valley by Whitechapel doesn't get talked about near as much as it should. Phil's cleans are fantastic and they keep bringing the heavy. 

Best Movie of 2019: I feel like this will be a lot of people's favorite movie but The Joker was an absolute masterpiece.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This one is EASILY The Boys. It might be the most well-done superhero show OR movie ever made. Once you watch the first episode, you are sucked in.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): This one is really tough because at this point, I don't even know which meme is from what year. I guess I'll go with Baby Yoda since I know that’s 2019 but with a disclaimer: There are a lot of NOT funny Baby Yoda memes out there.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The show in Cologne, Germany with As I Lay Dying was the biggest club show we had ever played, and at the same time, probably one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Amazing night.

2020 New Year's Resolution: I want to be able to run a half marathon with my dad. It’s pretty simple but he is out here running full marathons all the time and is double my age. I feel like I need to step it up.

Valentino Arteaga - Of Mice & Men

Best Album of 2019: Gideon - Out Of Control Best Song of 2019: Kublai Khan TX - “Self Destruct” Best Music Video of 2019: Ghostemane - “Bonesaw” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Ithaca - The Language of Injury Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Cold Case Files Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Spotify Wrapped 2019 Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Wacken Open Air Festival 2020 New Year's Resolution: Eat less meat & make more music

Matty Mullins - Memphis May Fire

Best Album of 2019: Dermot Kennedy - Without Fear Best Song of 2019: Papa Roach - “Feel Like Home” Best Music Video of 2019: Asking Alexandria - “The Violence” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This Is Us Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): @catatonicyouths IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Warped Tour in Atlantic City was LEGENDARY! 2020 New Year's Resolution: Write the best MMF record of our career

Nick Ventimiglia - Grayscale

Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino and Fear Inoculum by Tool Best Song of 2019: "No Age" by Rich People Best Music Video of 2019: "Mantra" by Bring Me the Horizon was pretty wild Most Underrated Album of 2019: Third Eye Blind - Screamer Best Movie of 2019: Big fans of Us and The Irishman Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Peaky Blinders and Mindhunter Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Big fan of the Kawhi Leonard “Hey, hey, hey” memes. Really anything but that lady yelling at that fucking cat. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our headliner in Philly this past October at The TLA.  2020 New Year's Resolution: Rock harder than we did in 2019.

Cody Quistad - Wage War

Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino Best Song of 2019: “See Through” by The Band Camino Best Music Video of 2019: “Resentment” by A Day To Remember Most Underrated Album of 2019: In Darkness by Varials Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon The Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Office, duh Favorite Internet Moment of 2019: The Epstein memes kill me Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Can’t Say I Ain’t Country Tour: Florida Georgia Line, Dan + Shay, Morgan Wallen 2020 New Year’s Resolution: Write the best songs I’ve ever written, love on more people, and be healthier 

Boston Manor

Best Album of 2019: Death Is A Warm Blanket by Microwave. This record is the best guitar music to come out in years. As our contemporaries, Microwave is constantly challenging and inspiring us to make better art.

Best Song of 2019: “The Brakeman Has Resigned” by Microwave. This song could not be more relevant to us, both instrumentally and lyrically. It’s just fuckin’ perfect.

Best Music Video of 2019: “DIAWB” by Microwave. You get the point.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Foreign Language EP by Can’t Swim. Always love to see friends changing up their riff game.

Best Movie of 2019: The Irishmen. I’ve watched it like three times in the van now and can’t choose which Tony is my favourite.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Rick and Morty. You son of a bitch, I’m in.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Eric Egan from Heart Attack Man.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Best concert we played would have to be Download Madrid. Right off the heels of ADTR in America, the airline lost our gear so we had to cobble together a backline and ended up playing after Tool to an insane amount of people.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Continue our world domination.

Mike Foley - Varials

Best Album of 2019: Feels Like You by Whirr Best Song of 2019: "Nothing Left To Love" by Counterparts Best Music Video of 2019: Tie between "Lips Like Lemonade" by Nick Prosper & "Mistakes Like Fractures" by Knocked Loose. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Deceiver by Diiv Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Kombucha girl Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The best show I attended was definitely the Balance & Composure farewell show in NYC. RIP. Best played was definitely the Atlantic City Warped Tour date. Also RIP. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Tour more internationally / spend as much time traveling as possible. Really hoping we make it to 3 different continents this year.

Kory Gregory - Prince Daddy & The Hyena

Best Album of 2019: Remembering The Rockets - Strange Ranger Best Song of 2019: “Mono No Aware” - Great Grandpa Best Music Video of 2019: “Must Be Wrong” - White Reaper Most Underrated Album of 2019: Super Enthusiast - Macseal Best Movie of 2019: Parasite Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Been really enjoying Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda forever and always. No questions asked. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our record release show in NYC was really special! That’s my favorite one I played. As far as the ones I attended, this Culture Abuse/Tony Molina show I went to in Boston was pretty legendary. 2020 New Year's Resolution: I just wanna keep writing songs that are better than the last!

Yvette Young - Covet

Best Album of 2019: The Japanese House - Good At Falling Best Song of 2019: “Shrugging Match” - Bobbing Best Music Video of 2019: Don Broco - “Action” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Town Portal - Of Violence Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Discovering bandmemes666, Chibson, catatonicyouths and allgasnobrakes on IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Orlando summer headliner show at The Soundbar 2020 New Year's Resolution: Make a dope full-length album

Carter Hardin - Chapel 

Best Album of 2019: Album of the year for me is KIN by Electric Guest. Every song is a bop and the production is so clean.

Best Song of 2019: I would have to say “Friends” by CHAPEL. The band is pretty cool and the song is a slapper.

Best Music Video of 2019: “Panini” by Lil Nas X is mine. It’s the most memorable one I’ve seen this year.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Pep Talks - Judah & The Lion. Not enough people are talking about that record.

Best Movie of 2019: MARRIAGE STORY. This movie broke me & I can’t stop thinking about it.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Fleabag is amazing. you need to watch it.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda memes are the best memes in the world.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I saw Cherub recently and they always put on the best show. This recent one was super inspiring.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Release more music

Alex Biro - Selfish Things

Best Album: The Act by The Devil Wears Prada. Genre-defying and innovative, this was one of my favourite albums of the last decade. I’ve been a TDWP fan since Zombie EP but the growth they’ve shown on their latest release while still staying true to their roots was sonically refreshing.  

Best Song: “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X. This speaks for itself. I’ve never been one to shy away from popular music, but it’s Lil Nas X’s “love everyone but fuck everyone” attitude that kind of impresses me most? He’s punk as hell. He breaks stereotypes. He pissed off 90% of the country music industry. I hope he continues to succeed.

Best Music Video: “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish. I mean, it’s been Billie’s year. We all know that. But the whole “monster under your bed” motif coupled with her wanting to not shy away from the dark side of things in a genre filled to the brim with bubblegum songs and visuals speaks to her innovation as a creative and an artist.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Everyone I’ve Ever Loved by Valleyheart. This came out a week and a half before 2019 but I’m including it here. “Agnosia” is one of the best songs I’ve heard in years. This band is fucking amazing. Don’t sleep on them. They deserve better than they’ve been given.

Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon. Shia LaBeouf is a true artist, and he’s at the peak of his game here. If you’re a fan of Garden State, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Rocket Science or any other emotionally devastating indie films, this is a movie for you.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Simpsons. God bless you Disney+. I can’t even put into words how nice it is to watch all of my old favourites with my daughter. Treehouse of Horror forever.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Colton jumping the fence during The Bachelor. We admittedly got snowed in during the “snow cyclone” in Wyoming and binged this whole season. I’ve never been more disappointed. Still impressed by his agility, though.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Atlanta, GA w/ Microwave, Boston Manor and Heart Attack Man. We’ve never had that many kids over the barricade. It was one of those “wow, maybe our band isn’t totally shit” moments. We all got off stage and knew it was one to remember. I’ll never forget it. 

2020 New Year's Resolution: Learn to be happy with who I am without letting the toxicity of social media cloud my self-perception.

Ryan Donovan - Red City Radio

Best Album of 2019: Mannequin Pussy - Patience. "Who You Are" & "Drunk II" are some standout tracks on that record for me! It's just filled with melodic anthems that have killer soft harmonies and is kind of a technically ambitious record compared to their older stuff, which I also love!

Best Song of 2019: The Menzingers - "America (You're Freaking Me Out)." They fucking NAILED it with this track and our current climate in the US, socially/politically/economically etc. They seamlessly always write some killer tunes!

Best Music Video of 2019: PUP - "Free At Last." No one had heard the song yet. They posted the lyrics and chord chart to the song and took all submissions of everyone's interpretation of the song and edited that down. You just gotta watch it for yourself, IT FUCKING RULES. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Decent Criminal - BLISS. I love this band and their tunes/sound. Small indy label release and I hope they take some more strides forward and keep growing. They rip.

Best Movie of 2019: Favorite movie I have personally seen so far this year is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. I heard it was a lot of either "love it" or "hated it" kind of reviews but I personally thought it was a killer film.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Ah man, with so much time on the road touring this year for RCR binge-watching older shows was a lot of my downtime when I got back home so here are some favs: Admittedly I had never seen Breaking Bad, that has now been binged and completed. Game Of Thrones (hadn't seen it until this Summer, I know, I know whatever). Animal Kingdom, Succession, Punisher, Jessica Jones and I Think You Should Leave.  

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): I LOVE THIS MEME and I do love pizza.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Probably the last show of our short tour with Hot Water Music over in Cologne, Germany. It was the largest capacity venue show we have ever played as a band - that wasn't a festival - at 4k humans, sold out! It was also extra special because Rockpalast had a 10+ human camera crew on hand and filmed the whole thing with live edits as it was streamed for anyone to tune in and watch. The edits and camera/audio/streaming quality was A+!!!

2020 New Year's Resolution: Better self-care.

Brett Boland - Astronoid

Best Album of 2019: HEALTH - VOL. 4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR Best Song of 2019: Dinosaur Pile-Up - Thrash Metal Cassette Best Music Video of 2019: Billie Eilish - “bury a friend” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Nightmare Scenario - Beyond What is Real Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Succession Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Sonic The Hedgehog Movie debacle. Best Concert You Attended: Final Slayer show in MA Best Concert You Played in 2019: Exit 111 2020 New Year's Resolution: PUT OUT MORE MUSIC

Conversation

Best Album of 2019: Copeland - Blushing. I’ve been a huge fan of this band for years and years and years; to say that they shaped my songwriting is an understatement. I was lucky enough to catch Copeland for the first time on this tour and it was a truly tectonic moment for me. Blushing was a perfect step for this band in terms of tone, emotional maturity and instrumental creativity. I was just so happy to hear every single song.

Best Song of 2019: “Make It Better” by Anderson Paak. This track just puts you in a good mood!!

Best Music Video of 2019: Our music video for “You’ve Made Yourself Perfectly Clear” where we accurately and tastefully re-created the opening scene of Wayne’s World to perfection. I know it seems like a bit of a brag to say you had the best video of the year, but truth be told, nothing else even came close.

Best Movie of 2019: Joker - I’m sure this will be a pretty common response but IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Letterkenny - A hilarious show about small-town Canada. If you don’t know, now you know.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Jonathan Frakes Asking Questions.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019:  A close tie between Arkells at Scotiabank Arena and Barr Brothers at Mod Club

2020 New Year's Resolution: To tour all of the USA and Europe for our new record. We are all so excited for the new music that we’re about to put out into the world and our undying dream is to show our live show to the entire world. SO THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING!!!

[pixiealtaira]

I would like to learn more about...

Pairing: None. Kurt-centric slice of life. Probably not Rachel friendly, I just see it as being her but others might see it as more unfriendly.

Rachel hovered over Kurt as he filled out the class schedule for his first semester at NYADA.   He’d already been placed in the dance class and vocal class and workshop time, he now needed to flesh out the rest of the semester with classes that he could take that weren’t the second half of topics and didn’t require a class as a prerequisite.

“I’ll have to take First year Drama and script analysis over the summer.  Madame Tibideaux said if I went both summer sessions I could take those classes and the rest of first year voice and dance. I can only take a max 10 credits during summer sessions, and that is that right there.  I could get in speech and maybe the math general requirement now though.  With Modern Musical Theater and that Exploration of Dramatic arts course I would have a good start. That would probably be about max credit wise anyway.”

“You aren’t going home to Lima in the summer?”  Rachel asked quietly.

“No, I have to catch up so I can be on course by next year. My college fund is not unlimited.  And at NYADA all it is going to cover is tuition.”

“But Kurt…”

“Sorry, Rachel.  It wouldn’t hurt you to stay here.  You could find a job and see if you could get permission to audition.”

Rachel scoffed.  “I already plan to audition whenever something I might want comes up.  I told Madame Tibideaux that as well.  She can’t actually stop me.”

Kurt rolled his eyes. “Did you ever consider the recommendation for no auditioning until you are given the go ahead might be there for a reason?”  Kurt asked.

“And I know the reason. It is so that they have less competition.  Rumor has it most the teachers at NYADA do at least one professional show a year.  They just keep the students down so they don’t outshine the teachers.” Rachel said and Kurt could tell she was serious.

“Anyway,” Kurt continued, interrupting what he knew would end up a huge rant if he let Rachel get into it. ”I need to go in and test my musical theory foundation and piano skills for placement in those classes, but those are each just one credit a piece. But taking the classes will have to wait till fall.  Then in fall I can take English Comp and World History.  That is six credits and a good chunk of my generals out of the way. Hmm…so let’s see…Dance is four credits, vocal and workshop is four credits...and six more.  That is fourteen, plus musical theory and piano…so 16.   Hmm, if I add projection, which is one credit and History of Theater in America, which is three, I’ll still be under 21, which is the max without getting all sorts of permissions and such.”

“But, we won’t share any classes.” Rachel said.

“Aren’t you taking the English class?”  Kurt asked.

Rachel snorted.  “I need to focus, Kurt.  My dads came with me and helped set up my first year schedule. I have dance, vocal class and workshop, a private lesson, and first year acting with emphasis on musical theater. WE think 12 credits are enough and will allow my focus to be properly pointed to where I can show the most star power. They advised sticking as close to that as possible for the next year as well.”

“What about script analysis and your generals and oh…the rest?”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Attention won’t be focused on me in those classes, Kurt.  And if I can’t keep the focus I won’t get the roles I deserve.  I need to be seen. I am certain I’ll be able to get them covered without having to actually take them.”

“And here I thought the purpose of NYADA was to learn all about musical theater and become better prepared for a career in the industry.” Kurt said.

“By being seen at what you shine at.” Rachel answered.

Kurt snorted and went about filling out a schedule in which what he wanted to take didn’t overlap.

Rachel grumbled and muttered under her breath about letting her set his schedule up, but he plugged along and got his classes set up like he wanted.  He briefly wondered what she was going to do when she wasn’t let into certain classes next year due to prerequisites not being taken.

Rachel forgot her complaints about his schedule by the time they started classes anyway, except when he wasn’t home to fix her food when she wanted him to.

She whined about him taking summer courses again when it was close to summer.  She had wanted him to follow her to the theater while they started putting together Fanny so he could do all her running for her, like make her coffee or feed her lines when she forgot them.

“Sorry,” Kurt told her the third time she demanded he not take the summer courses. “Not only do I have my NYADA courses but I managed to get into a class recommended at Vogue.com. I’m taking a photography course being offered by one of the photographers who does the regular magazine photos.  It is an opportunity of a lifetime.”

“Why?”

“Because I was offered the chance when I asked her why she made a choice she made while setting up one of the shoots that showcased the summer scarves we had a small write up on. Thea had a spot open in this class and told me she’d love me to fill it since I was asking questions that had substance.”

Rachel looked at him as if he were speaking a different language.  “I mean why would you take a photography class?  That has nothing to do with starring on Broadway.  What a waste of time!  If I were you, I’d use the time you spend there doing something useful…like auditioning.” Rachel said with a sneer.

“I already told you, I will wait to audition until I have something to put down on paper and have more classes under my belt.”

“You’re going to wait for permission aren’t you?”

“Probably,” Kurt replied. “Anyway, Photography is fascinating. I have such a great deal of respect for most of the photographers who I’ve met and this is simply the opportunity of a lifetime.  She even set up a photography basics course for me to take before I go to her classes.  I can’t wait. I mean, I don’t know if I’ll ever use it professionally, but if I can create with it for my own enjoyment and also learn what makes a great photo for different purposes for use with vogue.com it will be worth every moment.”

Rachel was of course fine with Kurt taking photos when they ended up being able to be used for her portfolio.

Blaine didn’t get into New York until three days before NYADA started back up again…Sam in tow, so Kurt didn’t have to hear ‘why are you taking’ whatever it was that seemed silly for him to take to whoever was complaining (as Santana joined in for Fall semester complaining) from Blaine at least.  This was good because Rachel and Santana were annoying and loud enough to keep Kurt on edge. He was already stressed because he was having to rearrange what he’d tried to put in before…but his yr. two vocals class and intermediate dance class interfered with his previous set up. Rachel had wanted him to just drop what he’d had to pull out of all together but instead he just switched courses.   He’d tested out of musical theory thankfully, because it was one that didn’t fit any longer, and he’d managed to keep projection and history of theater, but Eng. comp and world history were moved to online courses which had a full year to finish and so didn’t count into his credit count and his piano course had had to be postponed.  On Santana’s and Rachel’s list to complain about were the screenwriting class, choral for chorus, world literature and sight singing.  Rachel also tossed fits over the online courses…because they took away time from Kurt following her off to Callbacks and watching her sing and cheering her on. Or rather watching her and Blaine sing and cheering them on, since Blaine was ‘allowed’ to sing with Rachel and while he was out with Rachel, whereas Kurt was just supposed to sit and cheer for her.  Kurt loved having online homework to do as an excuse to stay home personally…a year of just sitting and waiting for her to ‘allow’ him to play as well was enough.

“Look,” Kurt finally snapped.  “After world lit, I have five more general courses to take.  I might plan on being a star someday, but sight reading music and being part of a chorus are just good skills to be able to bring to the game.  And honestly, you two…how can you scoff at screenwriting?  To make your own script? The power of writing, of being the creator of a whole show? How can you not see the appeal?”

“But Kurt, those classes will take away from your voice courses and dance and acting classes! Where is your focus and pin pointed passion!” Rachel yelled.

Kurt rolled his eyes. “The same place it has been since I got here.  NYADA is a place to learn all about the theater profession…not just singing.   The more I know, the more I have to bring to the table when I go out to audition. Those credits listed on a CV matter, Rachel.  The more I participate throughout the school, in a variety of areas, the more professionals in the school I meet and hopefully the more letters of recommendation I can bring with me.  Not everyone gets handed their dream role right off the bat like you did.  The rest of us will have to fight our way into a role.”

“I had to fight for my role, Kurt.” Rachel snarled.

“No, you really didn’t Rachel.”  Kurt said. “Talk to other people who have gone to open call auditions.  You got lucky and went to auditions on an appointment system because your casting director for the show had been suffering from migraines and decided a traditional open call wouldn’t be an option.  Did you think that was normal?  How auditions are generally held here?”

Rachel shrugged.  “I didn’t think about it.  Why would I?”

Kurt rolled his eyes.

“I have no idea why you might think about how things are generally done in the profession you are going into.”  Kurt sneered.

“Besides, I’m going to be famous now and they will always have me audition privately and first for any role I want from now on.”  Rachel added…completely seriously.

Kurt finalized his schedule and resisted the urge to slam his head against the wall…or strangle Rachel.

Unfortunately, Blaine was around to join in the complaints when Kurt signed up for his Spring Semester classes for his second year.  Blaine complained about Mime and Movement the most, although he complained about the Kurt taking such a full load to begin with.  Rachel complained about Stage Combat. Santana scoffed at Shakespeare and his Health and Wellness class.   He was also taking the next parts of his second year vocal and workshop, dance, piano fundamentals, and half his 2yr acting course. Needless to say after all the complaining he was highly surprised to see Blaine in Mime and Movement, let alone his second year vocal and workshop and acting class . In fact, the only two classes Blaine wasn’t in were Kurt’s dance class and his Health and Wellness course.  Blaine complained about Kurt’s course choices all semester long.

Kurt hid when he signed up for classes during the next summer.  Not that it mattered.  There was no one left to whine and complain at him about his choices at all.  Not even Dani and Elliot.  Not that Kurt blamed them.  Between Santana being around and being horrid to Dani after that relationship didn’t work and Rachel’s treatment of the both after she was not included in the remake of the band and Blaine screeching at Elliot and then treating him like he was garbage from then on out, Kurt couldn’t fault them for being driven away…on good days.  On bad days Kurt couldn’t fault them for staying away from his toxic being.

His gloom lasted through the first session of summer classes.  He’d taken his biology /anatomy class with a lab, getting that science credit needed for the full BA, and ethics class and his first audition techniques class, as well as adding Intro to guitar and Songwriting basics. It was a full 10 credits, but it had knocked off two more general courses and some of the single credit courses he hadn’t fit in yet.   He did a summer acting workshop as well which wasn’t counted in his credits but Madame Tibideaux counted as the other half of his 2yr acting.   It stretched through both summer sessions and Kurt figured by the end of it he’d spent more time acting than if he’d taken the class.

His second summer session was filled with dance specifics.  Three credits of Tap and three credits of Ballet, then single credit ballroom technique and Jazz ensemble dance.  He asked and got permission to stretch his session to 11 credits and added Jazz Harmonies, Dialects and Cold Readings Techniques.

Cassandra July didn’t allow moping.  Kurt was in her class and in her presence every day of the week for several hours.

Cassandra July loved pointing out your personal issues. However, oddly enough, she made Blaine out to be the idiot of the tale…the one who flunked out because he was too much a pompous ass to do things in the proper order and proper manner, the idiot who threw his money around and tossed fits and demanded special treatment to get himself put into classes he wasn’t in any manner prepared for. She drug Rachel through the wringer, and Kurt could not fault her one bit.  She just growled at Kurt for letting their desertion drag him down instead of celebrating the freedom their absence afforded him.

Cassandra July pointed everything out loudly, in public.  Within a week, guys who he’d been as friendly as he was able to be with in Stage Combat and Mime class without Blaine flipping his lid were coming up to him and talking to him.  Elliot called and asked f Kurt wanted to hang out.  Dani called and invited herself over to the loft, to help him cleanse it of lingering bad vibes. Friends he’d made in Adam’s Apples who he hadn’t been able to talk to for over a year called out of the blue.

Thea asked if he wanted to take another photography class…or rather, it turned out, follow her around to shoots on weekends and learn how to work shoots and do quick edits on site. Isabelle got back from her stint in LA and involved him more within the social circles at vogue again and colluded with Ms. July to have Kurt practice his ballroom dance with people Isabelle found several times over the course of the session.  Kurt hadn’t even been aware the two knew each other well enough to interfere with his blues.

Isabelle and Dani also somehow got together and found him a good therapist.  (A bit of an unholy pairing which also led to several articles on Roller Derby styles…much to Kurt’s dismay.)

Elliot, Chase, and Dani were with him when he was trying to figure out the schedule for his third year of NYADA.  They looked over his shoulder as he registered his courses online.

“I thought this semester was work study?” Dani said.

“It’s the year actually, half is work study and the other half is ‘from script to stage’, which means costume and design, lighting and sound basics, make-up arts, set design and stage craft, and intro to directing.  They basically split the 3rd years into two groups and tell them which semester they are supposed to do which in.  My name was drawn for first semester for work study. At NYADA, if you don’t leave the city for work study, that simply means 4 credits of dance and four credits of vocal and workshop, 3 credits of generals and if your work study isn’t calculated to be at least six credit hours, then also the three credit screen and studio class on top of work study.  I’m signing up for the class just in case so IF I have to take it my spot is there. And I’m taking full advantage of the option of registering a full year 3rd year and getting my spots in spring semester solidified.  During your script to stage semester you have to have a vocal specialty class…I’m aiming for  harmonies, a dance specialty class…Ms. July suggested Irish Dance and Clogging essentials, and an acting specialty…I’m going with the improve class. To top off the bunch you need a three credit general in there, too.  I choose the arts appreciation course…it is mostly a lot of watching and attending and write-ups, which will be nice contrast to all the doing of that semester.”

“Are they trying to kill you third year?”  Chase asked.

Kurt laughed.  “Most those courses, like costume and lighting, are available to the non-musical theater students from the start for the most part, but we are pretty much kept out until our third year.  I think they set it up this way to give us musical theater brats an ego check.  Also, this forces some people to get involved in courses other than their vocals and dance and acting. Sadly, Rachel wasn’t the only one to have basically avoided courses that didn’t spot light her.  Others seem to look forward to this year with gleeful anticipation.”

“So…”Elliot said.

“So?” Kurt asked.

“So…what are you signing up for?” Elliot prompted.

“Oh!  So, Ms. July put me into acrobatic dance…more focus on leaps and tumbling and stuff, instead of her regular advanced dance course. She said it was because I have been doing dance during summers and have been ‘suitably committed’ to doing well in class, but Jules from Stage Combat last year said that third year regular advanced dance does a lot of Ballroom style dancing so I figure she moved me because I took ballroom already and have that cheer background that she’d like to torture me with. Then I have a vocal hour with Larson and a vocal hour with Tibideaux, and the two hour Tibideaux workshop. Larson is not happy, but he said if she doesn’t use me better this year she will not get me next semester at all and he will sign off for the extra credits next semester to have me for vocals and workshops to himself.   I’m taking History of the Cinema, with focus on Musicals, for my general elective course. If I get the work study project at the Old Actor’s home…it will be 7 to 8 credit hours and I will do the studio class in summer.  If I get the Children’s theater project instead it is six credits and I’ll have to talk to Tibideaux about the studio course.”

“Which work study project do you want most?” Dani asked.

“You know, I don’t really care.” Kurt said. “I would love to work at the home again. I love spending time with everyone there. But working with kids would be fun, too.  I just want either of those projects.  My third and fourth choices weren’t as fun sounding.”

“If you work with the kids, I want to tag along sometime.” Elliot said.  “I have always wanted to learn enough about how to put together a youth drama program and have it be successful enough to last several years. It would be a great chance to maybe pick some minds.”

“Are you totally looking forward to your second semester?” Chase asked.

Kurt smiled. “You know, I am.  I’ve been looking forward to these classes since I started NYADA.  I declared a musical theater major from the very start, which I wished I hadn’t after talking with Adam after just a few weeks, but it was too late really, otherwise I would have taken some of the classes during my very first semester.  I mean, costume design?  Who wouldn’t want to take that?”

“Well, I can’t wait for you to take them…I expect you to sneak some time on the machines in there to put together some costumes for the band!  I don’t have access to the costume shop anymore.” Elliot said.

Kurt laughed.  

“You know, maybe you could see if you can add any of what you learn in your dance courses into the band dancing, as well.” Dani added.  “I mean some leaps and jumps would be bound to get the girls all hot and bothered…and that is always good for future show turnouts.”

“Not to mention the men in the audience.” Chase added.

Kurt leaned back and looked at his friends, marveling at the difference it made when people truly wanted what was best for you and not just them.  Elliot ruffled his hair and made Kurt squeak.

“You finished?” Dani asked.

Kurt nodded. “I’ll get an email confirmation in the morning.”

“Then I suggest we party! I hear a club calling our names!” Dani shouted.

Kurt smiled and stood up, heading straight for the door. “First round of whatever we are drinking tonight is on me. I am feeling quite fabulous.”

The four friends headed out, a haze of laughter following them.

[kpoprambles00-blog]

TWICE (트와이스) - FANCY YOU (7th Mini Album) [COMEBACK REVIEW]

With K-Pop, I never really listen to full albums outside of the ones my bias groups release (as horrible as that sounds). But every now and again, I'll listen to an album because I'm curious, or I love the title track a lot... or because I know it's going to be everywhere, and I want to know what all the undeniable hype is going to be about. Sometimes that hype is going to be unfounded, but going into TWICE's comeback with "Fancy", I was 100% ready to give this album a chance.

TWICE's title tracks have had a shaky history in terms of my opinions on them. To me, they've had some absolutely phenomenal songs - see "Knock Knock" and "Like OOH-AHH" - and others which are... some of my least favourite K-Pop songs. Looking at you, "Cheer Up" and "Dance The Night Away". (Remember, THAT'S JUST MY OPINION. I know those songs are loved but ooooh man I can't listen to them without cringing.) But with all the rumours swirling about "Fancy" being a pivot in concept for TWICE, I couldn't help but think that this album might just be worth my time.

And after a solid two and half to three weeks of listening to it and forming my opinions (because I need SOMETHING to do during finals study)... yeah, wow, it really was worth my time. This album surprised me in a lot, and I mean a lot of ways. I had no clue what to expect going in, but I was very pleasantly surprised on the other side of it all. Vagueness aside, let's actually take a look at what I mean and break down TWICE's "Fancy You"!

1. FANCY [TITLE]

[I couldn’t include more than 5 videos because of the limit, so I had to exclude this one! Here’s the MV link though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOHB85vDuow]

Right off the bat, we have the title track, "Fancy". I won't deny that I was nervous whilst listening to this for the first time, but... man, THIS is how you do a concept change in my eyes. It's by no means a huge shift from TWICE's previous material, but it's got enough distinctiveness to really make it stand out. It's almost like an evolution of "YES or YES" - which I loved, for the record - but with a slightly more mature pop sound. And I LOVE IT.

A lot of the girls are predominantly singing in their lower/middle range here, which... they really need to do more, because they all sound phenomenal. It also makes the higher-pitched chorus hit a lot harder. Aside from the girls' performances, the instrumental is a goddamn treat. The synths are predominant but not overwhelming, the subtle melodies in the background add so much to the main vocal line, and it's got this undeniable sense of boppiness to it that you can't quite ignore. It starts off relatively simple, and then builds upon itself to turn into a monster of a pop song by the end of its runtime. I have absolutely no idea how Black Eyed Pilseung went from making "Cheer Up" to... this. But I am very fucking okay with it. I feel like sophisticated is a good word to describe "Fancy"; it's a goddamn gorgeous song with a really good sense of bounce and progression.

So not only have we got a slight change in sound for TWICE in the song itself, but the lyrics honestly back up this concept shift as well! Instead of falling into the typical bubblegum pop trap of "oppa I love you, please love me back," the girls are much more forward with their romantic advances. They make the guy come to them this time. And yeah, you could say that's been run into the ground with girl crush concepts at this point, but "Fancy" isn't quite girl crush to me. It's more of a mature pop song, and those confident lyrics give it a great lift overall.

It's dangerous, it pricks, you're like a rose It's okay, I'm not afraid any more Hold it harder, take my hand It'll be a little dangerous, even more dangerous

Great song? Check. Somewhat interesting lyrics? Check.

My new favourite choreography TWICE have done? DOUBLE FUCKING CHECK.

Hoooooooooooly wow this routine is incredible. I learned it the day this dance practice video was released. That's saying something, since I very rarely learn K-Pop routines anymore. And yes, it is as hard as it looks. But it just confirms how goddamn hard TWICE have been working recently when it comes to their choreography.

I'm not gonna deny that "YES or YES" had a fantastic routine, but this... this had me shocked when I watched it for the first time. Just like the song, there is so much goddamn fluidity and style in this routine that it's kinda mind-blowing. Every single little section flows into the next perfectly, and there are so many little details that it's dizzying to try and keep up sometimes. There's so many levels and dynamics at any given time, and just when you feel like you might get a bit bored, the positions and timing of the girls' moves are often switched up to keep your attention. They also, for the record, don't repeat that much of the routine in the later parts of the song (bar the choruses, obviously) which is a BALLSY move. It's a trap many fantastic routines can often fall into, and to think that they didn't take the easy way out here earns a big fucking gold star in my book. Basically, THIS ROUTINE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS. I like it as much as, say, IZ*ONE's "La Vie En Rose". And I think we all remember how much I gushed over that...

To put it briefly, TWICE knocked it out of the goddamn park with "Fancy". Even though I was skeptic of the concept change rumours, they ended up delivering with just about every aspect of this comeback. And I couldn't be any happier. If they keep this up in the future then I may just have to start reviewing their albums more consistently. Speaking of which... I still have the rest of the album to look at, so let's start that, shall we?

2. STUCK IN MY HEAD

The one thing I'd heard about this song in advance of listening to it was this: if you want girl crush TWICE, this would give you your fill. And straight away, I'd say: yes. That is absolutely the case here. Whereas "Fancy" was more of a mature pop song, "Stuck In My Head" is full-on bombastic girl crush. And I really do admire it for that; it's a great change of pace for TWICE, and certainly something I'd love to be able to get used to. But I do have a few problems with this song - one of them being quite a big problem - that stops it from being amazing in my eyes.

Before that though, I may as well focus on what I like about it: the instrumental is full of power and emphasis, with plenty of strong brass elements and even some snare drums in the pre-choruses to add a bit of extra power. The speedy melody in the verses only serves to add to that power, too. And, for the most part, so do the girls' vocals; Nayeon in particular KILLS IT here. She is super comfortable in this range, apparently, because goddamn she sounds phenomenal. Momo actually sounds pretty damn great too, I didn't know she could have so much power behind her vocals!

But, as I mentioned, I do have one or two problems with this song. Admittedly, while I do feel like some of the girls are in their element here - like Nayeon, Jihyo and Momo, even Jeongyeon in some places - a few others feel... slightly out of place. For example, Dahyun's vocals in the verses don't have that much power, which is by no means her fault. Powerful just isn't her style - it's completely understandable. She's much better at giving a calmer, breathier vocal delivery like Mina does. It's more of where her lines are placed that bothers me than her actual vocals.

But then there's those falsetto lines in the choruses, and the fact that the high notes and adlibs feel very isolated and scattered... and Jeongyeon. I have SUCH a love/hate relationship with Jeongyeon in this song. Well, not even a love/hate relationship, more of a love/disappointment relationship. Her lines in the second verse and her adlib towards the end are fucking outstanding, but then she doesn't reach those same heights with her chorus lines later on. I understand that maybe those lines are structured in a way that makes it harder for her to belt them, but... it would've added a lot to the song if she did. I'm all for her looking after her voice and not completely ruining it, that's what any good vocalist would do. It's just... she has the potential to be a standout here, and I feel it goes to waste sometimes. She's a fantastic performer overall, and I really wish I didn't have to say this, but I'm just being honest. :(

All of is combined with the instrumental of the song, which is probably my biggest problem. It's got a hell of a lot of power, sure, but it doesn't go anywhere with that power. It never changes itself up, or develops - not in a way that feels impactful, at least. Yes, the beat switchup during Chaeyoung's rap is quite cool, but it honestly ends up taking away a lot of the momentum rather than adding onto it. When you've got so much impact in a song like this, and then proceed to do nothing with it, that's a huge disappointment in my eyes. It ends up feeling repetitious and under-cooked, which is a goddamn shame. If it had just a bit more love and experimentation put into it on the production side of things, it could have been serious title track potential. But as much as I hate to admit it, it's a very, VERY uneven song. It's definitely something the producers can work on in the future.

D'you what they don't need to work on though? The lyrics. Cause yeah, they're about as girl crush as you can get, and I eat that shit for breakfast. "Fancy" was confident, yes, but "Stuck In My Head" is THAT bitch. Honestly, I'd love to see TWICE have lyrics like this for a title track of theirs. They're teasing and quite playful, whilst being very powerful and confident at the same time. Basically, I love them a lot and I really want them to take this angle with one of their title tracks please and thank you.

This game of hide-and-seek that doesn't let you breathe Our relationship pushes and pulls I wonder who'll be laughing when this tension ends

Yyyyyeah, I ended up being very mixed about this song as a whole. I can still enjoy it on a superficial level, and it's certainly a lot of fun. I just... need to not think about it too much, because when I do, that's when the problems start arising. Overall, it's a great attempt at a girl crush song, and definitely something I'd love to see TWICE develop on in the future.

3. GIRLS LIKE US

Welp, I certainly never expected a Charli XCX song to end up in TWICE's lap. And yes, for those of you who aren't aware, this was a song Charli originally created alongside MNEK called "Tough Love" - which, for the record, both of them are phenomenal artists with a HELL of a lot of talent. (Seriously, have you heard some of Charli's mixtapes????) But the song was never really finished, and it was leaked online earlier this year. I'm not going to give a link to it because of copyright, but go look it up yourself if you're curious. It IS out there.

But somehow, it ended up being sold to TWICE, and now we're here! And overall, "Girls Like Us" is pretty good. It's got a very whimsical and upbeat vibe to it in places, with some nice quirky piano lines and whistle melodies here and there. It's also got some downright anthemic choruses, and I certainly wasn't expecting them to explode as much as they did. It's goddamn gorgeous to listen to, if you ask me. The verses are minimal for a reason, and it woooooooorks.

It actually reminds me a lot of Red Velvet's "Happiness", in a way? It's got a very uplifting vibe to it, and it overall feels very dreamy and positive. Which, that's not something Charli's really known for, so it definitely surprised me! I was nonetheless very happy to hear TWICE put their own spin on it, and it ended up coming out pretty damn well.

But you know what I hate about this song? THE ENDING. That's how they decided to end it? With the most anticlimactic thing you could possibly do with a song like this??? Come ooooon, JYP producers. You had a great opportunity to take that heavy drum line and turn it into something special, and you wasted it. You left it to sputter out and feel as pointless as it could, causing the ending to feel abortive and very unfinished in general. I AM DISAPPOINTED.

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Aside from that though, the lyrics certainly prove my point about the Red Velvet comparison. This is one of those cheesy yet uplifting and motivating songs that you can't help but grin like an idiot at. Yeah, the lyrics are pretty dumb, but they're fun. That's never a bad thing in my eyes!

The truth is, it's not a big deal You are not alone, everyone's been on this path before You'll find happiness one day on this road

In the end, "Girls Like Us" is a pretty dreamy song with a shitty ending. I don't really know what else I can say about it; it's pretty simple in a lot of ways, but sometimes you need a track like that to just enjoy in the middle of an album. Yeah, people will probably say it's filler, but if that's the case, then it's definitely a very fun example of filler. 😊

4. HOT

If you ask me, "Hot" is where this album finds its pace and really starts to just... have fun with it. "Hot" is actually an upbeat party song that REALLY surprised me upon my first listen. I didn't quite know what to expect going into it, sure, but if you told me it was going to be as quirky and funky as this, I... don't know if I would've believed you. But yeah, here we are!

"Hot" grabs your attention from the get-go with some really interesting vocal samples, and a very futuristic instrumental - almost reminiscent of deep house in some places thanks to those bouncy synths. But then, when the choruses hit, it adds some really nice snare touches, as well as a brass line that single-handedly makes the entire song SO much better. It gives it that extra energy that it probably would've lacked otherwise, and it definitely made me smile. This entire song just has so much goddamn energy, it's infectious! And hey, the ending actually works, which is a nice thing given that we just had "Girls Like Us". 😖

I feel like the girls themselves are actually enjoying themselves here, too - their vocal delivery is very colourful and varied, with just the right amount of sass and restraint where it's needed. That carries over into the lyrics, too, which are - once again - surprisingly confident and charismatic. It adds to the energy and vibe the song's got going for it - and when it's as fun as this, that is very much welcome. And sure, they're a little bit repetitive here and there, and they don't make much sense in places - although I think that's because the only place I could find a translation for this song was Genius, of all places - but hey, this song isn't really meant to be super deep! It's an empowerment anthem mixed with a party song, and shallow lyrics for this suffice perfectly for what it wants to do.

I don't have any ordinary clothes I'm perfect to my feet, I'll always be attracted to it You've already fallen for me

I don't really have much else I can say about "Hot"; you kinda just have to listen to it for yourself to really enjoy it. If you've never heard it before, I'd definitely recommend it! It's good if you need an energy boost, that's for sure. But... while I like it a lot, there is admittedly a better party song on this album. One with just as much energy - if not more - and a HELL of a lot of groove...

5. TURN IT UP

Yeah. It's this. I'll give "Hot" credit, it's fun and bouncy, but it's not on the level of "Turn It Up". Now THIS is a fucking party song.

The instrumental in this song is AWESOME. Not only have you got those bouncy elements we heard previously, mainly thanks to a great drum line and a nice synth line to match, but the groove. This song has SUCH a good bassline to it, and it's just topped off by some even funkier electric guitars here and there, as well as some thinner synths towards the end. Admittedly, that acoustic guitar intro with Sana's vocals is fucking awful and I don't know why they even included it (THE GUITAR ISN'T EVEN IN TUNE WITH THE REST OF THE SONG FFS), but the rest of the song is fantastic on its own. Just... ignore the intro. Forget it exists. Because there's a really damn good song to be found here if you do.

TWICE themselves actually nail it here, too, with some great vocals that really supplement this song's energy - I mean, do you HEAR how much fun they're having here? I feel like I can hear Jihyo smiling into the mic as she sings, and I love it! And hey, we have Momo rapping for a brief second, what else could you ask for? But overall, I feel like it eloquently provides a solution to the problem "Stuck In My Head" ran into, where some of the girls sound like they're not entirely comfortable - the instrumental ebbs and flows to support the members with the quieter vocals AS WELL AS the more powerful members. It works super well, and it means members like Tzuyu and Dahyun don't feel out of place. Speaking of which, Dahyun and Chaeyoung's rap is a goddamn highlight here - I haven't liked one of their raps this much since "Likey". THEY KILL IT.

Surprisingly, the lyrics indicate this is more of a love song than a party song? Which, that was a strange surprise to me. But while it is a love song, it's a very carefree and light one, with an electric sense of energy behind it. They never feel overbearing or annoying, and end up coming off as really natural and likable. They're honestly pretty good!

Here at night, full of starlight, Imma turn it up Towards the night sky in the dark, Imma turn it up We'll never lose our vibe

I think it's safe to say that "Turn It Up" left me very damn impressed, considering I wasn't expecting it to be anything special. It's the sort of song I've been waking up with stuck in my head in the morning (ironically enough), and that kinda shows how much sticking power it's got. It's memorable, upbeat, and reminds me an awful lot of Girls' Generation's "All Night" - it's just goddamn funky fun. I'd KILL to have a song like this be one of TWICE's title tracks going forward, 'cause I'd be there from minute one.

6. STRAWBERRY

Funnily enough, this is... probably my favourite song on the album. Yeah. Even though I liked "Turn It Up" a hell of a lot, "Strawberry" is the song I've found myself completely obsessed with. It's very subtle in a lot of ways, but I think that ends up working very much in its favour.

"Strawberry" is by a mile the slowest song on this album; the decision to end the album on a more chill song like this one was a great idea, in my opinion. And hey, like I said, it's probably my favourite song here - I love that distorted synth sample in the background and the melodic foundation it provides; I love the acoustic guitar sections in the choruses and the hint of authenticity it adds; I love how the girls' vocals are more hushed and a little bit more sultry than what we're used to hearing from them; there are so many elements of "Strawberry" that I could gush over for hours if I could. Hell, I'd say it's the most well-developed song on the album. It really does feel like its full potential is realised, and that makes me INCREDIBLY happy.

And yeah, when you look at the lyrics here, they're certainly more on the cutesy side than anything else on this album. But it's not an overbearing type of cuteness; it's very chill, relaxed and subdued, much like the song itself. They appreciate a few of the smaller details about the person they're crushing on, which matches the song's tone perfectly. It's such a goddamn pleasant song to listen to, and hey, even if I don't understand the lyrics without reading their meaning most of the time, they still feel refreshing regardless.

I don't want anyone to steal you, so I secretly hide you - it's all mine So what if I'm being greedy? I'm the one who likes you more

Not gonna lie, this song gave me very big and very immediate f(x) vibes. And that's a fantastic thing in my eyes - I AM a MeU, after all, but I didn't expect TWICE to pull it off quite so well. And to be honest, I think they do it just as well as f(x) do! These are the kind of cute songs I really like, where they're not overly in-your-face about their cuteness; they're just comfortable with being cute and putting their own spin on it at the same time. "Strawberry" is a fantastic song, and one I've found myself listening to an unhealthy amount at this point. Seriously. It's become one of the most played songs on my phone. Send help.

But hey, that's the entire album! And if "Fancy You" is anything to go by, I'll definitely be listening to more of TWICE's albums in the future - this ended up having some very pleasant surprises for me. This has been one of my favourite eras for TWICE overall, and this album just cements it to be honest. I can't wait to see where they go from here!

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ALL SOURCES FOR THE ENGLISH LYRICS I USED IN THIS REVIEW: Fancy Stuck In My Head Girls Like Us Hot Turn It Up Strawberry

COVER IMAGE CREDITS: Holographic backgrounds by FreePik TWICE PNGs by beapanda on deviantArt

[americanahighways]

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photos by Jimmy Faber

Watching The National Reserve and Sarah Shook & the Disarmers play back-to-back at the Ardmore Music Hall last Saturday night, I realized that I was witnessing two nascent Americana bands literally headed in opposite directions.

Shook & Co. were on their last stop of a four-shows-in-four-nights East coast mini-tour, having been on tour — not only across the U.S., but in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Canada, the Netherlands, the U.K. and Spain to boot — almost non-stop since early March of 2018. The National Reserve, on the other hand, were just about to embark on the European leg of their ongoing tour, with shows starting next week in Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Germany in support of their debut album Hotel La Grange.

Having caught Shook & the Disarmers, along with Zephaniah O’hora and Grady Hoss & The Sidewinders, at the tiny Dawson Street Pub in Philly in April of 2018, I was curious to see how the notoriously hard grind of life on the road might have affected them. The most obvious result was that the band was tight as hell, rolling through the best songs from their two albums (2017’s “Sidelong” and their 2018 follow-up “Years”) with precision, finesse and intensity. Shook’s voice was in fine fiddle and got stronger as the night went on, while guitarist Eric Peterson and pedal steel player Phil Sullivan took turns laying down tasty, Bakersfield-inspired licks. Bassist Aaron Oliva made playing barroom-brawl country on an upright bass look easy, while drummer Kevin McClain held the band’s groove steady throughout, shining particularly (though unobtrusively) on their trainbeat-driven numbers.

The band had clearly developed a solid sense of showmanship since I last saw them, when they came across as more of a fun-loving bar band that didn’t take itself all that seriously. Last March, Shook’s banter was carefree and edgy in that tough-chick, “I- don’t-give-a-shit” way of hers, the band happily chatted with the audience and the other bands’ personnel both on-stage and on the tiny patio by Dawson Street’s side door, they drank a just a wee bit (a-hem!), and they seemed genuinely to be having one hell of a good time.

This time around they seemed more self-aware, image-wise. Perhaps it was just that they are now playing bigger venues (the Ardmore Music Hall is easily eight times the size of the tiny Dawson St. Pub) as well as to more popular acclaim, with its attendant critical microscopes. Peterson, for example, came dressed up for the occasion, resplendent in a black silk top-hat decorated with a bright red band; with his lean, black-clad frame, dark-framed glasses and distinctly parted fu manchu- like grey beard, he looked the part of a poster-ready rock star.

The other band members were less nattily attired though. Except for Shook, who wore her usual combo of leather jacket (quickly removed), tattoos and fitted tee, they came casually dressed in grey t-shirts and jeans. Still, combined with the stage’s greater remove (compared to the stageless Dawson St. at least), the relative lack of between- song banter, the professional staging and light management, the overall impression I had was of a band that was less casual, but by the same token more professional and intent on taking their craft seriously.

The humorous moments I caught during the band’s time on stage at the AMH came when the singer ceremoniously tipped her plastic cup of whiskey with an over-hearty “Cheers!” to the crowd, and then later when I caught a glimpse of the band’s set list, with its cute, inside-jokey replacement of several abbreviated song names with titles like “Farting” (for “Parting Words”), “Home Fries” (for “Keep the Home Fires Burning”) and “Whut” (for “What It Takes”).

The crowd ate it up, singing along knowingly with several numbers. Those included “Fuck Up,” onto which the audience added an incongruously merry gloss to Shock’s weary, simmering anger, and “New Ways to Fail,” during which the crowd gave special emphasis to the line “I need this shit like I need ANOTHER HOLE IN MY HEAD.” By the time they got to “Damned If I Do, Damned If I Don’t” — during which Sullivan’s pedal steel quickly rose to the feisty occasion — a bunch of white- haired older gentleman in flannel shirts, jeans and trucker caps were crowding the front of the stage and shouting along with every word.

The only rumble of dissatisfaction I sensed from the crowd came when the band limited its encore performance to a single song. (In response to Shook’s ”We’ve got one more for you,” the crowd responded pleadingly: “How about two more?!?”) But what a performance that encore was! — with Shook spitting out the “Nah-AIILL in this here coffin” like an angry Appalachian cast-off, Peterson cueing up yet another habañero-hot Telecaster solo, and Sullivan following that with a series of well-lubricated pedal steel lines that prompted a chorus of “Yee-haw!!!’s” from the balcony.

Two earlier moments in the show shared the energy and joy of that encore. The first came when Shook delivered the recently-released ballad “The Way She Looked at You,” digging in passionately on the mournful chorus while Sullivan’s pedal steel wept openly behind her. The other big bump in energy, which sent a perceptible electric zing through the crowd this time, came when Peterson and Sullivan traded fours about 2:30 into “What It Takes,” while drummer Kevin McClain alternated deftly between delicate rim taps and rock-solid pounding. The ensemble playing was as tight as on the recording, but hearing and seeing it performed live was absolutely thrilling. It was clear at these moments that the band was not only clicking on all fours, but actively enjoying itself.

In short, Shook and her Disarmers delivered on all counts and clearly matched or exceeded the audience’s expectations. Still, to my mind at least, they did so in the professional and slightly cool manner of, say, a really good mechanic — rather than, in contrast with last year’s pre-European tour show at Dawson St., a band that was excited to be raisin’ hell out on the road, meeting new folks every night, and basking in the glory of a great new record.

On the other hand, the latter was exactly the vibe The National Reserve gave off during their thrilling 75+ minute, 11-song set. While I’m not sure the Reserve is quite “there yet” (to use a hack-critical phrase) in terms of the level of their songwriting — which is not as memorable and distinctive as Shook’s, for example — and their approach’s originality, they brought an impressive energy and verve, along with a white-hot level of musicianship, to their set at the AMH.

Like Shook and her Disarmers on their last two passes through Philly in 2018 (the second was at Johnny Brenda’s in mid-September), the Reservists seemed intent on kicking butt and taking no prisoners at AMH. Led by songwriter, vocalist and multi- instrumentalist Sean Walsh along with the towering Jon Ladeau on vocals and guitar, The Reserve came out rocking right off the bat with a Ladeau-led power-poppish number that incorporated three-part harmonies and (naturally) a jangly Rickenbacher guitar. Ladeau is a BIG guy and a strong vocalist with a rough-edged, soulful voice, and with his long dark hair and beard, American flag-adorned jeans jacket and hiking boots, he projected a powerful yet laid-back presence.

Walsh, who grew up about a half-hour from Ardmore, took over the lead vocals on the second number, and the two continued to toss the lead vocal baton back and forth for the duration of the set, with bassist Scott Povrick and drummer Brian Geltner intermittently contributing tasty harmonies. Walsh adorned this bouncy, melodic number with a scorching Les Paul solo featuring a nifty descending slide lick, which was followed by a second solo by Ladeau that actually drew screams from the crowd.

This back-and-forth dynamic, with their talents intertwining at times, continued throughout, much to the crowd’s delight. The Reservists followed those first two numbers with a wide variety of tunes, including a swampy blues rocker highlighted by a Freddie King-like solo by Ladeau; a folksy-twangy Americana singalong number called “Abe Lincoln”; a southern rocker featuring “Sweet Home, Alabama”-ish chord changes, a dual guitar attack AND dueling vocals; and a cover of Derroll Adams’ “Roll On, Babe” that incorporated a vaguely Caribbean shuffle beat, a glissando solo over chimey rhythm guitar effects, and a superb Les Paul slide solo by Walsh.

The second half of their set included the title song from their album Hotel La Grange, a slow ballad about meeting the “queen of Bowling Green” at that hotel; a mid-tempo country rocker with Allman Brothers overtones; a slide-centered blues rocker that evolved into an extended jam that showed off all of the band’s skills, drawing wild applause from the crowd and the exclamation “MAN, this is fun!” from Ladeau; and a tasty roots-gospel-country rock singalong with the refrain “Let me ride in your big Cadillac, Lord Jesus / Let me ride in your big Cadillac.” The audience happily crooned along on the latter.

They closed with a jammy southern rocker that featured more tasty harmonies and snazzy tempo changes. Watson and Ladeau cut loose on the breakdowns and solos during this one, without the song’s ever getting raggedy or wooly. Tight in concept and delivery, it was a fitting finale to the band’s impressive set.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention local duo Hannah Taylor and Rekardo Lee (aka, Jesse Lundy), who opened the evening with a fun eight-song set of blues-based numbers. With her big up-draft of bright red hair and blonde cowboy boots, Taylor belted out these tunes — which encompassed everything from mellow mid-tempo numbers, to a rockin’ Ricky’ Nelson number (“I Believe”), to some obscure, low-down 1920s blues ditties and even a slow, sweet version of “Blue Bayou” — with a twangy yet robust voice reminiscent of early Bonnie Raitt. Alternating between a metal resonator guitar that was “double-signed” (the first signature had rubbed off) by Edgar Winter and a jumbo acoustic, Lee complemented Taylor’s voice perfectly with his good-’n’-growly slide accompaniment and Chuck Berry-inflected blues licks. Their good-natured, diverse set proved the perfect aperitif for the night’s main courses.

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Merch, videos, and tour dates for Sarah Shook & the Disarmers can be found at: https://www.disarmers.com

Tour dates, band info, recordings and merch for The National Reserve are available at: https://thenationalreserve.com/home

Info and links for Hannah Taylor and the Rekardo Lee Trio can be found at: https:// http://www.facebook.com/htrl3/

  Show Review: Life on the Road: Sarah Shook & the Disarmers and The National Reserve Rev Up Their Engines at the Ardmore Music Hall @sarahshook @nationalreserve @ardmoremusicpa photos by Jimmy Faber Watching The National Reserve and Sarah Shook & the Disarmers play back-to-back at the Ardmore Music Hall last Saturday night, I realized that I was witnessing two nascent Americana bands literally headed in opposite directions.