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#somebody stop me
gleafer · 3 months
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@goodomensafterdark Ineffable Smut War contribution #I lost count!
“THERE’S NO “I” IN EFFORT”
Part 1) Gentlemen-ish Caller
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When this gets proper saucy, as all good Rom Coms do (a la Forgetting Sara Marshal😍) those pages will be unedited on my Patreon for those who are interested!
HAPPY SMUT WARRING!
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ammnd · 2 months
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cue The General Radahn soundtrack
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rius-cave · 16 days
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Lucifer: I can either be responsible…or I can be horny.
Lucifer: Responsible…
Lucifer: Horny…
Lucifer: Responsible…
Eden!Adam: *sucks loudly on a popsicle*
Lucifer: …Horny it is!
HEHEHEEE YES LUCI GIVE IN TAKE A BITE OUT OF THAT FORBIDDEN FRUIT-
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petit-naldo · 3 months
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cinamun · 9 months
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extrashortshorts · 9 months
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Neotenise middle-aged men🫵
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ronwestbreeze · 1 year
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shallow waters
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pairing: jake sully x fem!na'vi!reader
warnings: fluff and sully family stuff hehe. spoilers if you haven't read part 1
summary: in which you give birth to you and jake's child. part two to shallow end.
word count: 2.2k
author's note: i didn't think i was going to write a part two but here it is! i really love how this turned out and it's a lot sweeter of a final ending than the last one. let me know what you guys think and i hope you enjoy!
part one
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“ I don’t mean to be too blunt or harsh and I know this is your thing…but I’m not sure I want you hunting in this condition.”
You raise a brow at your husband as you grab your bow, “I am pregnant, Jakesully. I’m not wounded or helpless.”
He gave you a long look, frowning at the bow that was now in your hands. “I know, baby. But for my peace of mind, would you please? Just sit this one out for today?”
To some extent you understood his worry. The RDA were still around and any day now the baby could come. Your stomach, after many months had passed, had grown significantly. But still, this wasn’t the first time you had been pregnant and this certainly wasn’t the first time you went hunting while pregnant. So why was this day any different?
You adjusted the grip on your bow as you stared at him in confusion. “I don’t understand. I’ve done it before on my own and you were perfectly fine with it back then.”
His face fell when you said this and that only confused you more until you realized what the two of you had been like earlier in your marriage. It wasn’t like you were purposefully bringing it up repeatedly just to make him feel bad, even though some would say you deserve to do that—Neytiri—it was just that you were now used to it.
That relationship, the distance between the two of you, all of it you adapted and adjusted to until you could stand it. Until you could find yourself surviving this marriage in your own way.
But now with Jake, new Jake—no, true Jake, you were left adjusting once more.
“Those were different times back then.” Jake grasped your arm and pulled you closer to him until the hand on your arm snaked down and around your waist. He pressed a long kiss to your temple then leaned his forehead against yours. “I don’t doubt your skills, I just want the two of you safe.” You gave him a look and his lip tugged upward a bit, “With me at least.”
“I won’t be long.” You pressed on stubbornly. Just because you were pregnant did not mean you were rendered useless. And for some odd reason, you were trying to prove yourself. To whom, you didn’t know. “I won’t even go too far this time, I just want to stretch my feet for a bit. I’m tired of being cooped up in here for so long.”
Jake grunted and snuggled his face into your neck, pulling you into a tight embrace, one of his hands resting on your belly. “Is there anything I can say that could convince you to stay here with me?”
You shook your head, fighting back a smile, “You have duties, Jakesully.” He grumbled again into your neck making you giggle. “I will be fine, you can leave me alone just for a little bit, can’t you?”
“No.” He said simply, pressing a kiss into your cheek. “Last thing I want to do is leave you alone.”
A playful groan left your lips as you tried pushing him off but he only wrapped his arms around you tighter, “What will comfort you? We should, how do you say? Compromise! Let me compromise with you!”
Jake pulled away to look you in the eye with an amused smile, “I might consider it, depending on what it is.”
You purse your lips thoughtfully, “I can take someone with me. And in case something does go wrong, that person can go for help or carry me back. There, compromise.”
He frowned but didn’t outright reject it. You could tell he still didn’t like it but was relenting at least a little bit. “Who will you take with you?”
“One of the children perhaps? Kiri?”
“She and Tuk are with Neytiri.”
You nod, “Alright, Spider.”
“He’s training with the other Metkayina children.”
You sigh, “Lo’ak.”
“Neteyam.”
“Jake!”
Your husband crossed his arms, giving you a firm stare. But you would not back down so easily. In fact, your stare was just as firm, just as stubborn, just as stern.
He titled his head, “I thought we were compromising.”
You pout, “You are not being fair.” You jabbed a finger into his chest. “Keep it up and I go alone.”
It was a threat you knew would get what you wanted out of him. Jake relaxed his muscles and sighed, “Fine, how about both of them. Is that fair?”
Knowing this was the best you could get, you nod finally, “Compromise.”
Jake nodded and smiled softly down at you, “Compromise.”
With that settled, you readjusted your grip on your bow and began to leave, only for him to grab your arm once more. You stare at him in confusion and Jake gives you something similar to a pout.
“Kiss goodbye?”
You didn’t mean to look surprised by the request. Yes, you wanted more than anything to kiss your husband. But there was always a hesitance whenever it came to initiating physical touch with him. You were so used to his guardedness, so used to forcing any sudden feelings of wanting to touch and comfort him. Even now, him initiating the affection was all new to you.
You loved it of course. But still, you couldn’t help the way your hands paused, hovering for just a second, before holding his face and pressing a long kiss on his lips. Jake held you close and responded instantly as he always did when it came to kissing you. Usually, ever since your reconciliation, it’d be a lot rougher. Passionate.
Now he held you as if you were the most fragile thing in Pandora.
Both of you pulled away, Jake’s forehead on yours once more, “I want to be better for you. I wish I could take it all back, from the beginning. I wish I could start again and just allow myself to love you. Fully. Shamelessly. I’m sorry it took me so long…”
“Sssh, ssh, none of that now.” You peppered him with kisses at the corners of his mouth. “What matters is the now, not the past.” With one last kiss on his lips, you finally pull away, “Now go, you have distracted me long enough, Jakesully.”
Reluctantly and with some more reassurance, you finally went off to start your hunt. And like you promised your husband, you grabbed Neteyam and Lo’ak who were happy to tag along.
The waters were gorgeous at this time of day and with the months you’ve spent here, you’ve grown used to the aquatic life. And so did the children. Neteyam enjoyed riding his ikran around the most while Lo’ak enjoyed exploring the waters with Tsireya. You were more the latter. You hadn’t grown up around a lot of water when living with your tribe but you did remember your mother always loved swimming and talked about seas like this. How she would spend the entire day swimming with the creatures, especially during her marriage.
Oh how you missed her now.
“Lo’ak! Let’s race!” Neteyam called as he came down on his ikran. He pointed toward the distance, “First one to that rock wins and gets extra hours of training!”
Lo’ak, of course being the twin of your husband, grinned excitedly, “You’ll lose!”
“We’ll see!” Neteyam then grinned at you, “Y/n, watch us!”
“Don’t be reckless.” You chastise while stepping into the shallow waters, leaving your bow on land. “You know how your father gets.”
He rolled his eyes exaggeratingly, “We won’t.”
Minutes later, Lo’ak came back with his ikran and the two of them messed around but didn’t wander too far out of your eye sight. You watched them fondly as you swam in the waters. And for a moment, you wondered what your mother would have thought of the Metkayina clan’s home. There was no doubt she would enjoy living here, possibly consider this place home more than the one she currently lived in.
Damn this war. Damn those humans for tearing you away from your family. Damn them for taking your beloved son. Damn them all for trying to destroy your life.
Suddenly, you gasped and looked down at your stomach which was submerged in water.
“Lo’ak!” You called. Glancing around for the boys, you finally spotted them on the rock they had been racing for and called louder. “Lo’ak! Neteyam!”
Upon hearing your voice, both boys got on their ikran and flew over toward you. Lo’ak got to you first. “Are you okay?”
You try to remain, “Listen carefully, Lo’ak. And I am serious.”
Neteyam frowned worriedly, “What’s wrong, what has happened?”
“Lo’ak, I want you to grab some healers and tell them the baby is coming.” The boys’ eyes widened but before they could say anything you continued quickly. “After that, get your father and Neytiri. Do it in that exact order, understand me?”
“But—”
“Lo’ak, do not talk back! Go!” You didn’t yell, you just used a firmer voice than what you were used to.
And it had been enough for the boy to nod and take off on his ikran in the next second. Neteyam slid into the water with you,  “What do you want me to do, y/n?”
You breathed in and out, walking further into the water until it was now up to your chin. “Make sure I’m breathing, okay?”
Neteyam watched you carefully, hovering protectively similar to his father. And then slowly the two of you went underwater. The water wasn’t too cool, in fact it was warm enough to soothe your tense muscles and close your eyes, the tranquility of the water surrounding you, protecting you. This, this reminded you of home.
Births in water were quite common in your tribe. You and your father’s second wife often helped guide women through water births. It was always so beautiful to you, seeing a new life be brought into Pandora. It was better for the baby too. They wouldn’t come out cold but instead in water until they were brought to the surface for their mothers to see them for the first time.
You never understood why your mother loved the water until now.
Neteyam swam around you, watching you closely and making sure, like you had told him, that you were okay. A few times he had made you come up for air because you had gotten eased to near rest.
It wasn’t until you felt a few splashes next to you in your next descent into the waters did you finally awaken to your surroundings again. Now, instead of Neteyam swimming around you underwater, it was Neytiri watching you keenly as the healers appeared in the waters around you.
Seconds after there were strong arms wrapped around you and you instantly melted into them, knowing it was Jake’s embrace.
All of you swam up for air.
Jake’s voice was next to your ear in an instant, “I got you, alright? Be strong for me, baby.”
“You are halfway!” Neytiri says excitedly as she swam to your other side, hugging your arm comfortingly.
The healer had instructed you to start pushing. Neytiri held your hand while Jake held you from behind. Lo’ak and Neteyam were nearby told to stay in case anything went wrong with the birth. Kiri and Tuk had come with Neytiri, Kiri helping the healers while Tuk held your other hand mirroring her mother in an attempt to be comforting.
Neytiri placed a hand on your head as you quietly cried out from another push, “May Mother guide your child.” She spoke in your native tongue. “You are warrior, y/n.”
“We’re almost there.” Jake encouraged you, squeezing your shoulders gently and pressing a kiss to your temple. “You’ve got it, princess, almost there.”
With a few more pushes, your baby had finally arrived.
And it was a beautiful girl.
Kiri and Tuk were excited for another sister. Neteyam and Lo’ak adored her. Even Spider had grown quite attached to the newborn. Neytiri, like what you had done with Neteyam when he was still a baby, took it upon herself to help raise her as if she were her own child.
Eventually, she was given a name. Tua.
Whenever Jake held her, it was as if he was scared. Scared he’d hurt her. Like now, it was just the two of you for a moment. It had been rare that any of you would get a moment alone with each other. Jake and Neytiri would have their moments together. And now you had them with Jake. Begun to have them.
You watched as he held Tua in his arms, even now you could feel his anxiety.
Of course, you understood his fear. This demon, this war with the humans, it was far from over, and the last thing either of you wanted was to lose yet another child over it.
Yes, you had that fear too.
Slowly you reached out only to stop. Damn it. There was still a part of you, even when things were better, getting better, that kept hesitating.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Suddenly, Jake’s larger hand grabbed your hand and placed it against his chest and kept it there. “See? Touch me whenever you want, princess. Please. I won’t bite, promise.”
Your chest fluttered and for the first time in years, you allowed it to. A smile graced your face.
“What have I told you about your promises?”
Jake smiled,  squeezing your hand and holding Tua close. “I guess I can’t help it sometimes.” Gently he brought your hand to his lips before saying quietly, “I love you so much.”
Your heart swelled and your smile grew. Seeing this even made his eyes alight with mirth.
“And I love you, Ma’Jakesully.”
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novalizinpeace · 5 months
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post credits scene in the cartoon
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original image
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devilat-thedoor · 6 months
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thinking about Jake leaving the softest kisses to your shoulder and neck, trying to coax you out of slumber. When your eyes finally flutter open and adjust to the daylight, the first things you register are his hand, grasping your hip, and his morning erection, pressing into you. Once he realizes you’re awake and you turn your head to look at him, he gives those silent, pleading eyes and pecks your lips so gently. All you have to do is give him a nod and a sleepy smile and he’ll pull your leg up, lifting it just enough that he has the room to slip inside of you…and then he would drop your leg and hold you so tightly, his breath creating a warm blanket over your skin as he rocks into you so slowly. There’s no rush, no haste, just the two of you giving yourselves to one another. And he’s so so gentle and he continues to pepper your skin with kisses while mumbling the sweetest, most intoxicating praises to you. and i-
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hier--soir · 8 months
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me in bed rn, drunk as hell, writing professor joel smut
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masonhasbean · 22 days
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My Zombie Apocalypse boys (affectionately dubbed 'freckle duo') meet @cupcakeslushie 's E.W. boys.
This is no propaganda for anything, i just wanted to draw slushie's boys with mine :D Live Laugh Love EW
(If you're wondering why my Donnie looks a little funny, he got infected don't worry about it >:))
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gleafer · 3 months
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There’s No “I” in Effort
Part 3: So Beginneth the Lesson
Our poor guys!
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captain-rickbond · 10 days
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Lazzzz ♡︎
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tiptopticketyboo · 24 days
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Maybe I didn't boop you Quite as good as I should have Maybe I didn't boop you Quite as often as I could have
Little boops I should have booped and done I just never took the time
You were always on my mind You were always on my mind
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Gaz would fuck my thighs as I try to cross stitch. Just cooing and complimenting the wobbly lines cause I can barely think, let alone stitch.
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mister-girl · 11 months
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Midnight mass as text posts part 4
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