#and HORNILY

[goaliekisses]

that’s what hockey is about. loving the boys.

[finitevariety]

writing a Problematic Greg Fic

[coward2coward]

[allgremlinart]

tangentially related to lesko. butch Zuko vs (drumroll)... butch Jee !!

[stars-and-suns-and-boobs]

Just be the bigger person [be their parent [sexually].]

[moonshynecybin]

We all know how Mr. Valentino Rossi HIMSELF called marc "the next rossi" and everyone thinks it must be because he was so fond of marc, or at least he understood just how special marc was, like hmm look at that kid going from 30th to 1st place, it reminds me of myself... but vale was an undisputed goat at the time and we know his ego... i just find it a very weird thing to say, was he trying to put more pressure on marc? (maybe i'm overthinking, i'm so sorry)

i don’t think it was to put more pressure on marc i DO think it was to put less pressure on himself. he’s coming straight out of his flop ass ducati years his confidence is probs a lil shaky. gets asked about the protege on the block and doesn’t really want to be a dick but DOES recognize that doing some personal mythmaking has some power wrt to soothing public (and. mayhaps personal.) perceptions of said floppage… yes marc will be the next valentino rossi because he is GOOD maybe the BEST and you have to be both of those things to be valentino rossi type beat

[queerpyracy]

thinking about that bernie wrightson illustration where the creature is confronting victor and he looks like he's in a nightgown that's slipping off one shoulder, presumably to better display the bulging neck situation

[hellertears]

narumitsu ft. back studies

[deathwhoregutfucker]

Chronically Online Mayhem Headcanons!

TRIGGER WARNING: PRO-ANA MENTIONED IN PELLE"S HC

Varg

Varg is loud and wrong on twitter all the time

He’s always arguing with Øystein and trying to piss him off

He’d fall for it for a little bit, but then he’d learn that Varg only wants a reaction so he’d stop responding and he would look like a fucking moron (so euro wins in this situation)

An ‘anonymous hacker’ (Øystein Aarseth) would leak his dick pics and they’d go fucking viral

He would make 100 different burner accounts on Yelp to give Helvete bad reviews

And he would have all of his Burzum fanboys mass report Øystein and send hatemail to Helvete

He would also have a scandal where he liked gay porn and Øystein would screenshot that shit 

Øystein

Harassing Varg on twitter

Making thirst traps of Varg on tiktok and he’d be superrr popular too

He’d be the person who made that edit of Varg Vikernes

And because Varg is so egotistical he would watch the account all the time, and eventually he’d message the account talking about how much he loved the edits (he has them all saved in a folder and he watches them whenever he feels shitty)

And then he’d ask for the account number…

And guess what! It’s Oyster!!!

And he would be pissed and curse him out and call him an assortment of homophobic slurs (that he can also reclaim!!)

And Øystein would try to cancel him but it wouldn’t work because

But anyways, he would always repost memes from Necro’s meme account and he’d save all of them and post them on the Helvete instagram story every once in a while

He would also have an alt twitter to post gay porn on…(probably the same account that Varg liked!!)

And he would subtweet Varg all the time too

Necrobutcher

He’s a funny fella

Pretty unproblematic, but he’d flirt with Øystein “IRONICALLY” in those twitter comments

Oh, he would save those dick pics from Varg too

He’d be the first one that Øystein would show them to

And his Meme page would be super popular

He would also be a reddit and discord moderator, no question about that

Hellhammer

Hellhammer would be ‘too good’ for social media

He’d have twitter but he wouldn’t use it that much because it’s “too much drama” (real)

But he would be all up on facebook

He’d be on facebook like crazy but he’s mostly just post music stuff

Pelle

Oh boy

Just like @svgarcaine said, he would have a pro-ana tumblr blog

He would have it all aesthetic and shit too

And he would have besties on there, he would talk about how he would wanna go see them

And his body would be posted on Pintrest ALL of the fucking time  

He would be an icon among the pro-ana community

And Varg would somehow find his account and save his pictures for COMPLETELY GAY AND HOMOSEXUAL STRAIGHT REASONS OKAYY!!?!?!?

[taniushka12]

Despeately need to see daniel drinking from armand's neck like a starving starving man

[distortedclouds]

My wife asked and I shall deliver! @moonspirit

Making my case as to why Armin is likely to eat Annie out before they even have sex!

To start, they will be sharing a bed waaaay before the first time they actually have sex. Maybe even before their relationship is "official". While their intentional cuddling in to sleep might be tame, waking up is NOT. They're only half-conscious and warm and their limbs are heavy over each other, including Annie's legs/thighs on his

Because while having sex might feel like something they'd be extra nervous and intentional about (wanting to prepare physically and mentally) everything else? Nah it just happens. What's stopping Armin's face buried in the crown of her head from turning into an affectionate and innocent forehead kiss, and that from turning into face kisses because they make Annie giggle and kick her feet between his while they're warm and so, so sleepy. What's stopping the hand on the other's waist from caressing their side over clothes (and maybe just a hint under when shirts ride up) when it started out as a very stationary and cuddly hand on waist

First time having sex might be very intentional, but the rest is all little happy accidents! Good morning pecks turn into full on makeouts where Annie sucks on his tongue and they only stop because they have places to be. An affectionate hand on her waist is sooner rather than later going to find it's way under Annie's shirt and up to her breasts and then the whole shirt will come off. And in her loose pijama pants/shorts, it's so easy for Armin's hand to slip past the waistband and become familiar with the way Annie sighs with her whole body and the tips of her fingers twitch and grab at his her and she kisses him to stay quiet because it's like 7 in the morning

This is a long preamble here i know but rot work with me! because he's been thinking of Annie's thighs since day one, how they fit nicely between his when they cuddle, their weight in his hand when Annie hikes one leg up his side either while making out or just cuddling and he's on top, maybe when she wears shorts one day and they not only feel nice against his palm but also warm and super sensitive when he caresses them

Now, if Armin's kissing her stomach, he'll always go up out of habit. but one day (a shorts day) they're chatting and he ends up kissing the side of her knee, then a little up, because Annie looks so pretty the way she watches him her back flat on the bed. But this is still all silly and they're continuing their little talk even as it gets warmer and warmer. Normally, his hands would be on her immediately, trying to get those little noises out.... but maybe after a few more kisses her thighs. This time, he'll kiss bellow her belly button just above the waistband, look up at her, and actually ask, because his head is between her thighs and he can feel and smell her and his mind is consumed by one thought and one thought only

so why, why won't those idiots still feel nervous about sex while Armin's had his head between her thighs for weeks now

[sheisraging]

recycling this with more all purpose text, since i never know, or care, wtf is happening.

[marquezian]

sports discourse on my dash sometimes: its soo fucked to put hexes on athletes its NOT funny cal crutchlow: i hope marc marquez gets kidnapped and tortured in the woods and his plane crashes

[catominor]

continually troubled by how i can never seem to describe my characters as hornily as colleen mccullough does

[lunarriviera]

Shen Yi and Du Cheng, Under the Skin | 猎罪图鉴 (2022)

[birchbow]

How is our favorite scripture schoolfeeder faring this drone season?

He was ready to do his duty but the drones actually never made it to him. So instead he just had moderately fulfilling sex with some people he didn't much care about, sat around reading and not paying much attention in between rounds of banging, and then sent them off on their way.